#love me some creepy kind of pretty elves really
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qxeenofstars · 10 months ago
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Wizard Towers and their unimaginable horrors... for example, bad lighting. I will now proceed to have nightmares about this until unforeseeable future. (Also, unfair, but Astarion is also getting his share of the bad lighting and he still manages to look pretty)
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emcandon · 21 days ago
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oooooh I'd love to hear your thoughts about DAV if you do ever feeling like writing them out. I personally have been pretty disappointed with how disneyfied the morality of the game has been.
i'm hoping to finish my first run through of the game in the next week or so! and am going to reserve anything longer until then. but in a broad preliminary sense:
i do have positive thoughts and feelings about the game -- they may even be the majority of my thoughts and feelings! imo, structurally and quest-wise, veilguard is possibly the best dragon age has ever been. the overarching plot is legible and tangible, the sidequests are dramatically driven, and the game does a lot of work to make sure your companions are both visible and meaningfully involved
the big set-piece story missions have also by and large really worked for me--i've gasped out loud MULTIPLE times! vs. inquisition, when the only time i even really Felt anything about the plot was during the burning of Haven + finding of Skyhold. (i liked it! i had fun! but that was the only part of the game that had my FULL ATTENTION.) (also DA2 is the best game overall, followed by DAO and DAI duking it out in the parking lot bc they both have positive qualities that the other emphatically lacks)
also as i'm starting to hit the big pivots in every veilguard companion's culmination arc, i've really liked that they don't feel like Obvious Choices (in fact, DA's usual Oppressed vs. Oppressors choice has been basically absent! hoorah!). i'm looking forward to making different choices next play through! (a liiiiittle afraid the choices won't have much material effect but on the other hand, i'm okay with that bc DA's choices are usually set dressing anyway.)
HOWEVER
Disneyfied, MCU-brained, Whedonesque -- whatever the name, we're all reaching for a way to describe that pervasive sense of flattened positivity. it's not just in the tonally off attempt to integrate modern takes into a fantasy setting (tho i would argue DA has been guilty of this before in different ways, and it was silly then too, if less...tiring), but in the way we're constantly tripping over Codex entries or conversations where the game is trying to like, paper over its own lore? basically the writing keeps putting a hat on the Problematic Tropes it's accidentally walked itself into to try and reconcile with its own past, but it's usually not a very interesting hat.
for ex: any time the lore tries to address having determined that the elven gods are 1) real, 2) just assholes, actually, and that because the elves have been alternatively an analogue for indigeneity and jewishness, that makes the evanuris both a colonial trope and an anti-semitic one. uh oh! uh oh!! probably there would be a more elegant and interesting way to unpack this in text, but it's not the majority of what the game is doing.
this has overall bummed me out bc i think dragon age was always at its best, lore-wise, when it was being creepy. and now it's kind of afraid to be creepy!
also i was tempted into playing the first one bc a friend described the mage situation to me bc they knew i'd love it! that i'd be so happy with a setting where all the magic users were walking time-bombs, and the crapsack world's crapsack strategy for dealing with that was to stick all the time-bombs in a box and SHAKE IT REPEATEDLY AND AT LENGTH. that's a bad solution! with some potent human emotional stupidity driving it! how fun!
anyway this is a lot more words than i intended but i just finished emmrich's last big quest (my man...i'm romancing him next run through i can't wait...i love grandpa...) and had to EXPEL THOUGHTS
more on the way at some point possibly? or more deets on specific elements once i've actually seen the ending.
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theveryworstthing · 3 years ago
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He stares at the drawing with polite confusion.
"Very...interesting interpretation of an elf. The addition of the tendrils is...interesting."
"You said interesting twice. And what are you talking about? Interpretation? Addition? This is like, a spot on life drawing of Dahra'ah. You see her every day, how can you not tell it's her? Are you serious or is this some sort of joke? Because if i wanted passive aggressive digs at my art I would have just gone back home."
"I-no, no, no! Calm down Tess. I-Exactly, I see her every day. She's basically just a tall human woman with pointy ears, not some kind of...creature."
"Hey! Rude! We're all 'creatures' here buddy. And what the fuck do you mean 'tall human woman'? She's a 'humanoid' sure, but-"
"I mean, that's what she looks like. That's how she shows up in photographs. Her picture is up on the wall Right. There."
"..."
"..."
"That's not her."
"What?"
The young portrait artist looks back and forth from the painting to the drawing. She can see it, the way the two figures could be different renditions of the same person, but the woman in the photograph was...off. Dulled. No markings or claws, no elegant tendrils, very little of the ethereal vibes that bordered on creepy with which Dah carried herself. Just a bland but very pretty human lady with pointy ears.
Something is wrong.
"Do you have sec to come to the studio with me Roland? I think we need to compare notes."
over on patreon DonutBronut wanted 'elves of increasingly inhuman varieties' and Kona Goodhart wanted 'indecent rococo' and while this isn't all rococo fashion it has the Vibes.
at first i just wanted to draw some slightly funky elves but then i got the idea for a fantasy scenario where everyone but elves see elves as tall pretty humans instead of the weird fae-humanoids they really are and the elves just roll with it. like, they're not actively deceiving anyone, it's just a fact of life that they show up weird in pictures and most mirrored surfaces and humans perceive them different. which is fine until some human with their dang third eye cracked open is hired to do a portrait and things get Complicated.
these ladies were fun to draw because even though i could have truly gone buck wild i decided to go for something a little more subtle (also i drew a monster elf before and i didn't want to retread that territory). y'all know i love a good changeling, so these are like a species of changeling that evolved to raise their own young after establishing communities outside the veil and breeding with the locals. which is something i've done before with the Mainlanders yes, but also consider? leave me alone.
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kradogsrats · 2 years ago
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So I think my perspective on Xadia is colored quite a bit by the fact that I actually really hate elves in every fantasy setting I’ve ever encountered (with the exception of Hilda, because I love tiny things and neurotic Kafkaesque bureaucracies). Yes, I am That Bitch(tm) whose favorite LotR character was Boromir.
But, like… Lux Aurea reads on the surface as a dystopian theocracy (but maybe just Khessa was awful, who knows), and the Silvergrove apparently trains child assassins, and while I’m definitely biased Xadia’s also legitimately kind of shitty. Not to mention we’ve seen like 2.5 Archdragons, their omnipotent god-rulers, and an entire 2 of those were gigantic dicks. Zubeia’s reaction of sending assassins is honestly pretty restrained in context, as she’s willing to just trading lives one-to-one, versus Sol “Welp, Time to Wipe Out Humanity” Regem. Also lbr when you maintain a tradition of assassins everything’s gonna start looking like a problem assassination will solve.
So idk I honestly don’t have a ton of hope for how the human/Xadian situation is looking, two years on? Zubeia wakes up and has her son back, returned to her by heroic elf/human collaboration… but there’s also still the waste of a huge-ass army sitting outside, so humans are not really giving the best accounting of themselves, here. Some fought and died to protect Zym, but if we’re looking life-for-life… a shit-ton of them also fought and died trying to kill him. At best, it kind of evens out?
Then apparently she immediately sends Zym back off with Ezran like nothing happened, since he’s in Katolis for Ezran’s short story. I really hope they explain that if he continues to be hanging around, because, “well, you killed that one creepy guy with the bug, so never mind the other hundreds of people who followed him, I’m sure it’ll be fine. It’s not like there are any other dark mages in the world. And I certainly don’t remember any important mirrors going missing at the same time that we may want to think about retrieving before they end the goddamn world, or anything” is a really weird take to have to on that situation.
Meanwhile, as far as anyone in the human kingdoms knows, their monarchs were still assassinated at Zubeia’s word, and denial from her would probably not land super well in the “believability” area. On Xadia’s end, it was (again) Dark magic that caused all these problems, and they’re unlikely to compromise on that just because of some nice kids and their cool aunt.
So what’s really going to make or break S4 for me is just how shitty are things, still, and how much has it worn Callum and Ezran down?
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mathmusic8 · 2 years ago
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The Dragon Prince
Thoughts part 4 (spoilers)
I just realized the different seasons have names of the six magic elements—does that mean there will be 6 seasons?? That’s a lot. If it stays this good, though, I’m here for it
Also I was thinking about it, and now I’m wondering if Ezran’s weird taffy hippo dream was also significant, since Callum’s was? Maybe I'll go back and watch it later
Pffft watching Callum be super excited with his glow cube in Xadia is so much fun XD
Ahhh, the castle guards. I love them so much
So who actually is the Crow Lord? I really wanna meet him now. The Crow Master is a darling too though, so cute and awkward and relatable
I… I have so many feelings for Soren right now. On the one hand, he’s had so much character growth, and still maintains his adorable whacky side. On the other, he’s blaming himself pretty hard for something he didn’t actually do. Poor boy
It’s a fuZZY WITH A FACE THAT’S SO CUTE
Aww yeah, you go Ezran! Mercy for the win!
Ahh, there we are—I was wondering how he was gonna fit that crown over his hair haha
C’mon, Rayla, give the boy some credit—Callum’s elf was basically as good as your human XD
Also I guess Earthblood elves are Australian?
Oh no—advisor guy—don’t you dare go behind Ezran’s back. It will not end well for you
Rayla’s …a ghost now? Uh, okay?
YEEEEEE CLAUDIA!! CALL HIM ON IT!!
Oh no he didn’t
Prime example of gaslighting
Viren you are a horrible, horrible man
Oh great. Corrupt advisor. Another horrible man
Oh man, that Sunfire elf staff test would be terrifying—not being able to hear would make someone dependent on sight, and potentially losing their sight in some kind of test—that would be awful
What the crap, message thief? What’s your problem??
Hrrggggg bug—on—face—oh there’s goo—uaeiankwekaadfkandf ick ick ick that’s so gross!!
Hmmm. Why do I not believe Nyx? Why does she give me huge con-artist vibes?
HMMMMMM
Ezraaaaan what are you doooiiiing that you can’t take Bait with you??
So that—silkworm walkie talkie thing—put goo on his entire eye? kandoiehoIWRHOHFOIEBF GROOOSSSSSSSS
Whaaaaat is haaaaapeeennnning?? Ezran, kiddo, what are you doing??
I’M SO CONFUSED
Callum, Rayla, you’re both babies and adorable <3
Ah, right. Nyx is a con artist lady. Surprise surpise
I love Bait. He’s got the right priorities
…okay, so Ezran abdicated… but why is he in prison???
Is seriously no one gonna say “uh, dude, you got something in your eye”?
Sorrrreeeeen please please please tell me you’re joining the lady advisor and people… but I could see how badly you’ve been manipulated your whole life, so I could understand if you’re doing this to try to make it up for your dad. But it would still be tragic
YEAH SOREN HONEY YOU ROCK
Soren you’re a dork and I love you
The baker's there too? Love that XD <3
Aww, you could just go with them, Soren!
Oh? Was Claudia in on it? The way she’s emphasizing that euphemism makes me think she saw straight through Viren’s bluff. One can hope
Yeeeaah!! It’s the guard Rayla spared!! (I have a terrible feeling he’s going to be made an example of. But this guy is so brave in this moment)
Okay, at least they’re alive. But wow, Viren, way to instigate hate
No way—is that—the moon phoenix thing is filling the giant eagle trope, isn’t it? XD
Yes, yes it is XD
Soren I don’t know how many times I can articulate this but I love you so much
…and once again, Viren takes creepiness to a whole new level. Yes, let’s talk to the king about how his wife’s last breath was caught in a bottle so it could be used in an ancient powerful spell. I’m sure he’d love that (hope you can hear my sarcasm).
Viren. I have very strong feelings about you and your manipulations. Many of them involve fires and pits and bodily injuries.
Pfffft this poor dramatic prince dude has no idea how to handle this crazy family XD
Also I love Claudia’s little “bloiufdh” face XD
Oh… wow… that… that dragon king died a horrible death
This conversation flashback is so painful to watch
Are you kidding. The bird died right in front of the kid? That’s just mean
Ohhhh wait, right, she’s a phoenix. They do that
Oh looky, Viren’s creepy face is back, and I don’t see any butterflies hanging around here, do you?
I appreciate that conversation between Callum and Rayla about the mixed feelings for the big dragon king. It was timely
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handern · 4 years ago
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Devy this is a weird question but you're my only mutual I know who speaks French. Do you have any recommendations for french language children's books? Especially geared at like 6-10 year old readers? I'm trying to practice my language skills, but my french isn't quite good enough yet to read the book reviews. There's "adult readers", but they have a startling lack of anything at all fun in them. I want dragons and spaceships and shit, not sad people buying groceries
Oh I'm going to pull out my list of french writers books I read when I was 7/10 but I'm not sure if it's really what you're searching for?
Even when they're aimed at kids french books by french authors can have a lot of very pedantic words no one uses on a daily basis
Also keep in mind that most popular books written in english out there have probably been translated into french at some point !
Erik L'Homme :
- Le Maître des Brisants (just read book 1 and 2, the 3rd one was a mistake sorry mister Erik sir) : Steampunkish scifi, I don't remember the whole plot but it was pretty epic and I think it was about a boy coming on a spaceship for an internship? Now I need to re read it
- Le Livre des Etoiles : a young boy training to become a mage in a world that was part of ours and is still linked to ours but through a very small gate. It has celtic themes and epic fights but in a more modern way than most fantasy books
- Phaenomen : four kids in a "hospital for children with special needs" realize they have some powers while they go searching for their favorite doctor who vanished one day without a word. Kind of a modern take on changeling kids, smh it gave me a coping mechanism for ADHD and sensory overload that I still use haha
Pierre Bottero : all his series are linked somehow so here's the publication order, which is not the chronological order
- Ewilan series : a girl finds out she has the power to cross from our world to another one, and also that she's the most powerful magic user born in that world. She goes in search of her biological parents trapped somewhere in that world along with a very eclectic band of weird people. It was some of my favorite books ever.
- L'Autre : set in our world, it follows two heirs of some 7 or so families of people who can use magic, they have to learn to control their powers and I also forgot the main plot but hey the girl can turn into a panther and at some point she murders someone which was very cool of her
- Elana : following my childhood hero, Elana from the Ewilan series. It starts with her as a toddler being raised in the jungle after her parents' death (the best book) then it follows her growing up and being trained as a Marchombre (less interesting but still good) which is a thing that would take too long to explain like, they could be assassins but they're not and they could be thieves but they are not but also they're both assassins and thieves for most of them except they're not, they follow a goal way more important than just assassinations and thievery, of spiritual and physical perfection. I started practicing climbing bc of these books.
Erik L'Homme and Pierre Bottero :
- A comme Association : monsters hunting monsters (4 first books are by both of them, the rest is Erik L'Homme alone). It's pretty fun but I didn't get the end at all. But it's pretty fun yes and makes me very emotionnal bc Pierre Bottero was my favorite author and he died right after the 4th book's completion. The characters are really cool and very fun, and of course there's some monsters befriending
Serge Brussolo : each of his series has like 10000 books, I have no idea how this man writes so much but I'm pretty sure his writing rate should be illegal somehow
- the Peggy Sue series : my grandpa gave me the second book instead of the first by accident and thank goodness he did because the first book absolutely TERRIFIED ME, the rest is really kids books but the first one is horror. It tells the story of a girl who can see ghosts and they make her life miserable for it like, literally try to murder her and her family. She ends up travelling through weird places/worlds, it's pretty cool but jesus christ the first book. Warning for graphic murders, mind control and cannibalism in the first book. Some kids get almost boiled alive to be eaten in the second book but you know what? That's tame compared to the impression the first book left on me! There are sheep who eat people in the 5th book also if I recall correctly
- the Sigrid series : A girl born and raised in a weird submarine realizes that something is wrong and weird, ends up travelling through very eerie worlds where she has to learn the rules very fast to survive, it's also kind of horror-like, but less horrifying than the first Peggy Sue book. There are some spaceships, submarines, ghost boats and a lot more
Fabrice Colin : this man is a genius but also sometimes a dirty little copycat man I love him so much. He wrote a lot and not all of his books are equal in quality but when it's good it's really excellent
- Les Enfants de la Lune : set during WWII, a child who lives with his grandmother finds a letter adressed to his grandfather who died 10 years ago, he goes to the meeting to announce it to the people who wrote the letter and ends up meeting the last elves trying to leave our world before the last portal closes. It's very bittersweet and has absolutely amazing characters including a crocodile who probably ate a nazi at some point, evil pterodactyles and a mechanical kraken in the Seine. I spent 10 years hunting for a copy of this book, I would borrow it ten times a year at the local library
Eric Sanvoisin : I was absolutely obsessed w the atmosphere of his books. Horror but not scary? Kind of intriguing and creepy but in a very cosy and familiar way?
- Les buveurs d'encre : vampires but they drink books ink
- Les chasseurs d'Ombres (type in the author's name or you'll just get the Moral Instruments in the results) honestly it's been so long I don't remember much except that I harassed my parents until they bought me the book after I read it at the library. I think it has vampire-y vibes too with investigations
I also read every single book of the "Autre Mondes" collection by the Mango editor, which has really cool scifi books but there are so many it would make this list way too long so I'll just recommend "Les Abimes d'Outremer" which is about space whales being spaceships, but this collection is a goldmine if you want well wrapped together short-ish novels
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fallingfor-fics · 4 years ago
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Teachers Pet- chapter 4: introductions
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chapter 3
I woke up to the Grandfather clock in Dumbledore's office chiming, if I counted correctly, 6 o'clock. The sunlight beaming in through the small circle cleared on the window. Although I was still dreading this day I figured I'd want to be ready and awake when it was time to begin my very first day at Hogwarts. I laid on my back looking up at the ceiling getting lost in thought for a moment thinking of all the things that could go horribly wrong. 
Eventually I lifted the covers off myself and swung my legs out of the bed stepping on the cold stone flooring. I yawned, stretching my arms up and cracking my neck and back. I got up and went to my luggage. I paused for a moment wondering what I should wear since I didn't have a uniform yet. I looked over what I had and contemplated my choices. I wanted to try to look the part and not stand out too much. I grabbed my black boots and a simple dark green turtleneck sweater I had that used to be my grandpas that I snagged from my dad's closet since he never wore it. I looked over my bottom options trying to remember what the students were wearing. I remembered seeing some in skirts and some in pants. I just decided on some simple black leggings and figured I would have my coat on anyways so it didn't matter a whole lot and once I got my uniforms I would change into them as soon as possible. Probably as soon as I purchased them in the nearest restroom. I took my clothes in the bathroom and went pee and got dressed. I then brushed my teeth and splashed my face with some cold water.
As I exited the bathroom I stopped and grabbed my hairbrush and some makeup from my bag, I didn't wanna look too rough on the first day. Thinking of that made me think of all the new people. There are a ton of students here, girls and boys. What if they make fun of me for not being in a uniform. No, no they wouldn't, Albus wouldn't run a school that bullied people. And if they do that fine ill just hit them with a hex or something. I can defend myself just fine. I always did at Beauxbaton's. I remember my first year there were some girls that messed with me for having a hole in my tights since I knew my mom couldn't afford to buy me new ones after she explicitly told me to not rip them. And they would continue to tease me for other things, anything. But one day in my second year I got tired of it and turned all of their hair green. Of course they screamed and freaked out and I got in trouble, but I didn't care because no one messed with me after that. There was still the occasional comment or unsolicited opinions but I like to think I'm pretty smart and quick witted so I usually always had a response to them.
   I grabbed the brush and brushed my h/c hair and pulled some from each side back into a small clip. I grabbed my makeup bag and applied some concealer here and there, brushed my brows out, and curled and applied mascara to my lashes. I contemplated some light eyeliner but I didn't wanna risk messing it up and running late, I hadn't done any in awhile and probably fell out of practice. I figured this was decent enough and put on some simple pearl earrings and a silver necklace that had a small sun and moon charm. It was a gift from my sister years ago and I would wear it almost everyday. She said it reminded her of us, the sun and moon, she liked to think she was the sun and I was the moon but I said I didn't revolve around her, but she was older so it made sense she was the sun. I took one last look in the mirror, some of my shorter hairs falling from the clip and I tucked them away from my face. I didn't really like stuff in my face. I contemplated putting on my glasses or my contacts. I figured the last thing I needed was to look like a nerd so I put my contacts in and exited the bathroom. Just as I was packing up my things I heard Dumbledore knock on my door. "Come in," I answered. He opened the door and smiled at me. "Well you're up and at em" he snickered. I smiled at him as I applied chapstick and sprayed on some perfume. It smelt like roses and an old lady. But I still liked the smell. It was like my signature scent. "Are you ready for your first day here at Hogwarts my dear?" Dumbledore asked cheerfully. "A little nervous, but mostly ready" I sighed. "Ok well to give an overlay of your day, you can leave all your belongings here and I will have one of the house elves bring it over to your dormitory when you get sorted. And then I have arranged a student to show you around and then travel with you to Hogsmeade to get your uniforms and stationary items once you are given your schedule. It should only take but half the day, at least up until lunch and then from there you can go to the remaining classes of the day." he said with a witty smile standing in the doorway with his hands together. "Wow sounds like a plan!" I said nervously. Realizing this was actually happening there was no stopping it, and I would have my first day at Hogwarts starting in the next thirty minutes. I looked over to the clock and it read 6:30. "Oh and breakfast is from 6:30-8:30am so we should probably head to the Great hall now so we can get you sorted and seated in time" he added. I felt a nervous tingle spread in my chest at the thought of being sorted again in front of different people, having no idea how their sorting ceremonies went. I was gonna ask but I didn't wanna look stupid so I went with it. "Wonderful I'm all ready to go." I smiled putting my coat on, tucking my wand in my boot and grabbing my bag from the post and throwing it over my shoulder.
He headed out towards his office and I silently followed behind all the way down those odd stairs again and down the hallway. After what seemed like quite some time we approached large doors that were open, which I assumed was the so-called great hall, and kids were shuffling in and taking their seats. Some saying small good mornings to Dumbledore. He went into the great hall and I followed directly behind him, my heart suddenly beginning to beat faster. What looked to be most of the school had already arrived to their seats and conversed amongst each other. Some I could tell were obviously first years by their innocent faces, and others I could tell had seen some shit and were at least 5th years. I took deep breaths as I followed him up some stairs to where the teachers sat, where I presumed, to eat. I looked over at some of them and back to Dumbledore. He walked me over to the table to do some quick introductions. "Good Morning everyone this is my Goddaughter y/n that I told you all about" Dumbledore said to them they all smiled and said small hellos to me. "This Professor Lockhart teaches Defense against the dark arts" he said as I looked at the very interesting man. He was smiling largely up at me, almost to largely, it was kind of creepy. "Hello" I said softly. He then took my hand and shook it and then brought it to his mouth to kiss it. I tugged it away quickly after he did so and he said "Good morning y/n! It is so wonderful to meet your acquaintance, I can not wait to have you in my class! I have heard so many things about you and you are much more grown than Dumbledore had described." I looked at him and just gave a soft smile not really knowing how to respond to that. I lightly and discreetly pushed Dumbledore's side to encourage him to keep moving so I didn't have to retain eye contact with this Lockhart fellow. "And this is Hagrid as you met yesterday" "Good Morning Hagrid it's good to see you again." I smiled at him "Pleasures all mine, I teach care of magical creatures" he boomed. "Oh nice" I said as we kept going with our introductions. "This is Professor McGonagall she teaches Transfiguration" She gave a simple nod to which I returned. "And this is Professor Flitwick he teaches charms" I smiled and nodded at the small man with a thick mustache. "Oh and It appears Professor Snape has not joined us yet, but he teaches potions, and this is Madam Pomfrey the matron here at Hogwarts, and last but not least Professor Trelawney who is the Divination teacher" he said I smiled at the kind looking woman who had rather large hair and glasses. She looked like a lot of fun.
"Ok now that all the introductions have been made, it's already," he stopped to look at his watch " 7 o'clock I would say this would be a good time to get the show on the road" he said smiling down at me. I laughed nervously and realized no one had paid any attention to me yet, but that was about to change. Don't get me wrong sometimes I love to be the center of attention, but not in strange and new places. He stepped past me and up to his podium, I stood kind of behind him and waited to see what was next. He cleared his throat and began. "Good Morning students, I hope you have all had a good weekend, before we get breakfast started I have an announcement to make, or rather an introduction. We have a new student joining us today, she has transferred from Beauxbatons. And let me add she is my Goddaughter and I am very pleased to have her here with us at Hogwarts." he looked over at me and nudged his head for me to come up next to him, I did so and looked over the full room of students, making sure to not make eye contact with them. Some were still having quiet conversations but halted when I stepped up, and turned their attention to me. "This is y/n, she is in her 6th year and has not been sorted yet but we will do that in just a minute." I smiled a small smile at the students or should I say my new classmates overlooking the rows upon rows of them "I have high hopes that you will treat her with respect and make her feel welcome!" he spoke loudly. Some of the more obnoxious students yelling "hellos" from their tables. "Now come sit and we will sort you into your house" he said as I followed him around the podium and to a chair in front of it.
Unbeknownst to me Professor Snape walked in out of my view, as I was focused on the students that I was displayed in front of and took his seat behind me. I sat nervously watching as Dumbledore walked over and grabbed an old dusty faded brown witch hat and carried it over to me, he is putting this thing on my head? I sat still and upright as he gently placed it atop my head. All of the sudden the thing began to speak, startling me a bit. "Hmmm very interesting," it said and I sat patiently wondering what that was supposed to mean. "Tough one, compassionate but stubborn" I rolled my eyes at that comment, even an old hat could tell I was hard headed? "Smart but will do anything to be proven right" how dare he expose me like this, I was beginning to think this was some trick to humiliate me, a few of the students snickered at that and I shot them cold looks. "No doubt, clear to see...SLYTHERIN!" The hat yelled and an uproar of cheers came from the table on the far right, I didn't know if this was a good or bad thing but based on the looks of some of the students and Professors faces it was probably not the most popular. Dumbledore took the hat from my head and I shot him a concerned look to which he just winked and smiled. I smiled and looked over the tables, the Slytherin one still cheering. "This is going to be interesting"
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crookswithbooks · 4 years ago
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How To Seduce A Talking Cat
Day Ten - Bean helps Elfo come up with strategies on how to seduce their favorite demon and Elfo himself continues to be awkward and terrible at most everything.               
Waking up in a pool of sunlight was usually an enjoyable experience for the demon, but in the wintertime the reflections off the snow were enough that he was practically blinded when he first opened his eyes. Luci slowly uncurled from his position on the windowsill, stretching out his back. What he was not expecting was to be met with the waiting eyes of Elfo, head tilted slightly as he watched him.
Luci stifled a strangled yelp, quickly straightening out. “Okay dude, super creepy.”
“You know you look just like a cat when you sleep,” Elfo told him as the demon hopped off the windowsill. “I half expected you to start purring.”
“I don’t know how many times I have to tell you I’m not a cat,” he grumbled, his tail curling in annoyance. “I’m a demon and I’d kill your parents for half a corn chip.”
“But you don’t like corn chips.”
“Exactly.”
“I don’t get it.”
Teasing Elfo was a gamble each time. Sometimes it was as easy as calling him short and sometimes the meaning of his words flew completely over the elf’s head. “You know Elfo, it’s amazing how you’re even less fun in the morning than all the other times of the day. It’s almost impressive in a way.”
“Thank you!”
Luci scampered out the door to go find some drunk scholb to torment, grumbling something about early mornings and annoying elves.
Elfo sighed, flopping back down on the bed. Bean was curled up on her side, having passed out soundly after last night’s shenanigans. Her hair formed a tangled mat around her head and she snored quietly. There had been moments when the sight of her would have set Elfo’s heart aflutter. It still sort of did. Now though, he found his attentions were held by another, more antagonistic force.
“Have you ever been in love?” Elfo asked her distractedly, watching the doorway where Luci’s form had been moments before.
“Mmm… love…” Bean’s murmurings were almost unintelligible, her barely conscious mind slurring her words. “Warm hands… why yes I will join you in your chambers tonight…”
“Like, genuine love,” Elfo continued, oblivious to the fact that Bean was clearly not listening. “Love where you would do anything just to get them to notice you?”
“Do anything…” Bean snorted, pulling her pillow in close so that she was practically straddling the material. “You can do whatever you want to me…”
“But the thing is, the person in question’s not good for you. Like, objectively speaking, just a terrible influence and not a good person to boot. Yet all the same you can’t help falling for their infuriating charms.”
“Boots…” Bean muttered, finding herself more and more awake with every second. “Am I wearing boots in bed?” She kicked them off, groaning as she sat up.
Elfo’s eyes widened with realization. “Oh my goodness. I’m in love with Luci.”
“What?”
Elfo slid off the bed, pressing his hands to the side of his head. “I can’t believe I never realized it before. I just assumed those fluttery feelings in my stomach were hatred, but then I realized they were the same feelings I used to get when I looked at you and I just—”
“Hold up a second,” Bean interrupted, holding up a hand to stop him. This was not the kind of news you wanted sprung on you while dealing with a hangover. “You’re in love with Luci? Luci? The demon? My demon? In love?”
“I think so!” Elfo gnawed on his lip anxiously, not interpreting Bean’s distress. “I mean, now that I think about it, the signs are pretty obvious. I love hanging out with him, whenever he makes fun of me I get all hot and bothered, and sometimes when I look at him I find myself thinking he’s… cute? Like, these aren’t friend feelings, are they?”
“How long have you been in love with Luci?” Bean exclaimed, lost and bewildered at the turn the conversation was taking. “How did I miss this? And why Luci? And why you?”
“I don’t know, a couple months now,” Elfo said in answer to her first question. “At least I think so. It’s hard to pin down. I mean, I’ve always sort of felt this way, if I really track it back, but it’s only recently that I started to be fully aware of it.”
“Am I losing my touch?” Bean gasped. “My best friends were in love and I never realized. I can’t believe it.” She grabbed Elfo’s arm, momentarily pulling him out of his funk and forcing him to look at her. “Well, what are you going to do about it?”
Elfo shrugged uncomfortably, scrubbing a hand through his hair. “I don’t know… I was thinking I would just pine endlessly now that I know how I feel and prolong the inevitable rejection.”
“No, no, no!” It was possibly due to the seven beers she had drunk last night, but Bean found herself weirdly invested in this newfound realization of Elfo’s. She had always found it difficult to navigate her own love life so focusing on someone else’s was a welcome distraction. “You have to tell him.”
Elfo snorted, a derisive noise that shot down any possibility of acceptance. “Please. There is no way that he feels the same way. Luci’s a demon. I’m… well, me. It wouldn’t work.”
Bean folded her legs under her, gripping her hands in concentration. “There’s got to be something…” She racked her brain, digging through her hangover for ideas. After a couple minutes of her doing this and Elfo waiting unimpressed, her eyes shot open with excitement. “I got it! Mistletoe!”
“What?” Elfo frowned. “You want me to grow mistletoe?”
“No stupid.” She stood up, pacing back and forth. “You find a way to get both you and Luci under the mistletoe at the same time, and then once you’ve kissed him you can confess your undying love for him. It’ll be perfect. It always works in those books Derek is constantly reading. I only know because sometimes I use the pages to smoke drugs and accidentally catch glimpses of the words.”
“I don’t know…” Elfo said skeptically. “Who’s to say Luci will even follow the rules of mistletoe? He doesn’t seem like the rule-following type.”
Bean waved a hand, dismissing the idea before it could even take form. “He will.”
“How do you know?”
Bean didn’t answer and Elfo reluctantly followed her as she continued to go through several ideas for their plan.
A day later, Elfo sat at the table in the grand hall with a glass of beer and a stomach full of nerves. Operation Luci-Under-The-Mistletoe was ago, or LUTM as Bean has so affectionately named it. Above him was a mistletoe tied to the rafters. The beer had been Bean’s suggestion, the idea being that Luci would be unable to resist the alcohol and would be forced to sit next to him.
He had been waiting there for nearly fifteen minutes before Luci finally wandered back into the castle. He slipped in through the crack in the doorway, eyes widening as he caught sight of Elfo nervously gripping a glass of shoddy beer. “Oh. Elfo. Hey.”
“Luci!” Elfo exclaimed a bit too loudly. Now that he had named his feelings he found it harder to be around the demon without being awkward. Luci raised an eyebrow and he flushed. “Hey there... bud… how’s your day been?”
“Great. Set two children on fire in front of their parents.” Luci crawled onto the bench, far enough away that he wasn’t technically under the mistletoe. “They screamed for a long time. A couple of times the fire went out and I had to re-light it which was troublesome, but such is the sacrifices I make for art.”
“Geez,” Elfo muttered, queasy just at the thought of it. Of all the people he had to fall for, it had to be a demon. “That sounds… terrible.”
“It was,” Luci agreed dreamily.
“Hey,” Elfo said casually, twisting the bottle on the table in what he hoped was an inconspicuous motion. “I was just getting ready to down a couple of cold ones if you wanted to maybe join me?” He threw in the maybe despite himself, nerves getting the best of him.
Luci examined the cracked bottle containing clearly not cold beer. “Yeah… so, as fun as that sounds, I’m actually good. I was getting ready to go get baked and yell at people in the streets, though, if you wanted to come with me?”
“Sure,” Elfo agreed miserably, setting the bottle back down a little too hard on the table. Plan #1 was a bust, which meant it was back to the drawing board for him.
 A couple days later and Elfo sat loosely tied to the throne with a mistletoe hung directly above him, waiting for Luci to come back from breakfast. The plan now was that Luci would try to help him out and as soon as he was close enough Elfo would slip the knots and kiss him. Elfo was skeptical about the plan as it required Luci wanting to help anyone, but Bean was confident in this one so he went with it. He twisted against the chair, the hard wood digging into his back uncomfortably.
Luci’s amusement when he finally found him was unending and Elfo almost wanted to die right then and there, mistletoe be damned.
“Wow,” Luci whistled appreciatively, circling him. “Just wow. Who did you say did this to you again?”
“The kids from the village,” Elfo muttered under his breath, repeating the words Bean had instructed him to say. It was all the more embarrassing due to the plausibility of the situation. “Could you possibly help me out of here?”
“And you’re really stuck?” Luci clarified, just standing there and, more importantly, not helping him. “Like, you can’t get out at all?”
“No,” Elfo assured him in what he hoped was a convincing lie.
Luci examined him for a moment longer, clearly deciding the truth of the statement. Finally he shrugged, walking towards the still open door.
“W-Wait!” Elfo cried out in a panic, wanting to rush after him but not wanting to give away the fact that he wasn’t really stuck. “Where are you going? Aren’t you going to help me?”
“It seems like you’re really stuck in there,” Luci said over his shoulder, strolling out the doorway. “Why would I ruin such a perfect oppurtunity?”
Seconds later he was gone and Elfo slumped against the rope, defeated yet again.
 His third try was a last-ditch attempt and one that he wasn’t proud of by any definition of the word. Tied to the front of his hat was a sprig of mistletoe, making it impossible for anyone to get close to him without being in range of the plant. It was obvious and mortifying if anyone saw him—which, if Bean’s plan was to work, they would have to. Specifically Luci.
Luci took one look at him and burst into laughter, doubling over in amusement. Elfo blushed furiously, bristling at the reaction. “Oh my god, Elfo, man, this is just so desperate. What lady is ever going to want to kiss you with that on your head?”
Elfo didn’t even bother to come up with a response, ripping the hat off and throwing it to the ground. He stormed off, Luci’s laughter echoing down the halls after him.
 Eventually, Elfo was forced to resign himself to the facts. Luci didn’t want to kiss him; that much was obvious. And no amount of tricks, clever ploys, or traditional plants were going to change that. The sooner he allowed himself to accept that, the sooner he could get over the stinging phase of rejection.
He sat curled up in the windowsill of Bean’s room, the place where this whole stupid charade had begun. His knees were pulled up to his chest and in one hand he held a piece of mistletoe, glaring at it with as much hatred as he could muster.
“Stupid plant,” he muttered angrily, crushing it between his fingers. “Stupid Bean, stupid Luci, stupid feelings—”
“Are you talking to yourself again?”
He jumped at the sound of Luci’s voice. He shoved the mistletoe behind him quickly; there was no way he would be able to deal with the embarrassment of Luci catching him holding it.
“No,” he protested, wishing for once that Luci would just go away. As always, Luci ignored his wishes and hopped up on the windowsill opposite him, examining him curiously. “Why are you here? Don’t you have more important things to be doing?”
“Not really. I just finished poisoning the local drinking water, so my schedule’s clear for the next couple hours.” Luci watched him for a moment before his tail snapped out suddenly and snatched the mistletoe from behind Elfo’s back. Elfo gasped, shooting out a hand to retrieve it but it was already too late. Luci smiled, holding up the mistletoe in both their line of sight. “Thinking of kissing someone, huh?”
“I…” Elfo struggled to come up with a convincing story, but between all the plans he and Bean had come up with lately, not to mention his inherently guilty conscious, he found himself all out of lies. “I was, yeah. But they don’t want to kiss me back.”
“How do you know that? Did they tell you?”
“No,” Elfo admitted. “But they don’t have to. They’re super cool and mysterious and I’m… you know.”
“Elfo?”
“Exactly.”
His head drooped in misery. A couple seconds later, however, he felt a soft hand grip his chin and tilt it upwards. He found Luci standing next to him, the mistletoe held squarely over them by his tail. Elfo gaped at the sight, glancing between it and Luci’s face. “But—I thought—”
“I knew what you were trying to do,” Luci admitted, scratching the back of his neck. “I’ve known since the beginning. I just thought I shouldn’t give the win to you that easy. And I have to say, it was fun messing with you. Sorry about that. by the way. Bad habits, demon and all that.”
“So then you…” Elfo struggled to deal with the information he was being handed. “You knew that I liked you and you weren’t disgusted?”
“Of course not,” Luci snorted. “Do you know how many things I’ve been with on this planet? You’re hardly the most revolting thing.”
“Thanks,” Elfo said dryly.
“You know what I mean.”
“So you, too…?”
“Don’t make me say it,” Luci snapped, and if Elfo didn’t know better he could have sworn he spotted a faint blush on the demon’s cheeks. He wiggled the mistletoe then, a mischievous look entering his eyes. “Now, I believe I owe you something?”
Kissing Luci was never something Elfo would imagine in even his wildest of dreams, but life, as he quickly found out, was full of surprises. Normally, Elfo was not that fond of surprises, but in this case he decided to make an exception.
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sheeswee · 4 years ago
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Maeglin canon rewrite cause hey, why not.
When Maeglin was brought to Gondolin, after the grief of his mother’s death, he was really looking forward to bonding with his cousin! Turgon was also quite kind to him as well, and when people would stare and whisper about how he was a cursed child and evil and wrong, his uncle would protect his honor.
Then behind the scenes, Idril revealed that she was disgusted by him too, and hated being related to someone like him (it was also from jealousy that she wasnt the only royal heir anymore) which really broke Maeglin’s heart. He wanted a cousin so bad.. Turgon could tell something was up, so he pulled him aside and was basically like “Maeglin youre my nephew you can tell me what’s wrong.” and Maeglin didnt want to offend him so he didnt end up saying anything (which unfortunately came across as suspicious to Turgon).
And when Turgon confronted Idril in private about it she told him a false story: that Maeglin had been trying to court her and was making advances on her despite being cousins, and telling him off all the time, which Turgon ended up believing...
Turgon in the end took his daughters side, and Maeglin was once again treated like an outsider despite having done nothing except be related to Eöl.
I also like the idea of Maeglin being mentored in smith-work by Celebrimbor. Maeglin immediately becomes attached to him, someone who matches his wit and has similar interests.. someone who wants him around.. someone who actually sees him for who he is and not who his father is. Because they have that in common, and Celebrimbor always understands. Their relationship blossoms, until for Maeglin it becomes obsessive. For him, he struggles deeply with any sort of bonds he gets out of fear of isolation and being abandoned. He grows jealous of people who would talk to or train under Celebrimbor as well, and let it fester into just another reason that he should betray the city. Because to Maeglin, Celebrimbor having other friends was a betrayal to him as well.
That’s what I have for a canon rewrite, but I’m tacking a little character analysis on the end here as well.
I feel a bad making Idril out to be so mean in this, but I prefer it to Tolkien’s “Maeglin was shunned by everyone for being creepy toward his cousin”.
The rest of his story is pretty much the same, his upbringing, Aredhel’s death, being captured by Sauron (who actually ends up realizing that Maeglin is lonely and bitter and uses this to sway him with sweet promises rather than torture), and then the fall of Gondolin and his death.
Even in the weird incestuos canon that Tolkien creates, I don’t think Maeglin actually loved Idril romantically. I think that Maeglin can’t tell the difference between affectionate emotions well, and assumed his admiration and longing for a bond with her was something romantic. In reality he was projecting because hes never been loved by anyone in his life. Well, besides his dead mother, who he was probably convinced thought of him as a burden too.
Its still weird that he wanted to marry his cousin, but I think he was majorly projecting and coping and trying to feel loved for once.
(even more rambling ahead)
im also pretending the “maeglin is auper awful and weird and horrible” was just unreliable narrator AND THE UNRELIABLE NARRATOR THEORY is like.... silm fans use it to excuse plot holes cause basically. The silmarillion is meant to be a collection of historic texts compiled and translated into one language by bilbo in valinor. So its him collecting a ton of old elf scrolls and translating them into one book. The unreliable narrator theory is basically that some of the texts he translated were slightly or heavily biased by the elves who originally wrote them. So if idril wrote about the fall of gondolin of course she would write what she wants you to believe(that maeglin was super evil all along and gross) which may not be true
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procrastinationonvacation · 4 years ago
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We very much appreciate your last answer! May I ask for some headcanons on Maglor, Maedhros and the twins, post-third kinslaying? Thank you 😊
- Captain Anon
Hello! We very much appreciate your patience this last week an—
*HC BRAIN SLAMS FOUND FAMILY BUTTON SO FAST IT BREAKS THE SOUND BARRIER* (under cut as per ususal)
Ok first, for the life of me, I can’t decide on why Maglor took the twins, or why Maedhros agreed to keep them. So here’s a couple of theories I’ve seen as well as one that’s more mine:
The good old “can we keep them” + 🥺🥺 = “fine” followed by “what no they are hostages and I have no emotional attach- wow! you made that? That’s amazing! Can you teach me?”
The Twins 2.0
I think Mags deciding to keep the twins is the start of his character arc (he’s late to the party but oh well)
My interpretation is he’s always been a little short sighted, not really prone to introspection, trying to ignore that he and his family are all kinda… monsters, at least until this part of the book. (That probably comes from how he barely shows up in the story.)
He probably shows up to the kinslayings in a very detached “its one of those days” manner.
Maybe he realizes its time to face up to everything once the 3 Cs die. Or maybe it really does take Amrod and Amras for the introspection gears to start turning. Either way, who/what their family is can’t be ignored anymore, and it’s time to take the route that takes down the fewest bystanders as they go to their doom.
Ok so at first the twins are very much not gonna talk to the creepy murderers thank you, even if Elrond already knows they aren’t going to kill them (Certainly his foresight would notify him of his own death. he hopes). They’re 6 but they know what’s up and you bet your ass Elrond can hold a grudge. Plus Elros says They’re creepy, and Elrond’s gotta agree.
Maglor is pretty stumped cause ofcourse it makes sense the kids aren’t talking to him or anyone, but that can’t be good for their health and he does actually want them to be happy. He goes over to Maedhros like “oi help” to which Maedhros is like “bro ur so fucking dumb, listen to them, they sing 24/7 just like u.” and Maglor is like “oh. right. singing. i do that. ok.”
It’d be really cute if he went and started singing a song that’s meant to be easy to join into, one of the silly dumb ones that are entirely out of place in a war but make everyone laugh and be happy and just forget for a minute. It takes a while, but Elros’ voice quietly joins in. Then Elrond’s. Unfortunately its one of those ditties that gets stuck in your head, and with the twins and Maglor singing it, the whole camp has it stuck in their heads for *ages.* And I mean ages. In the fourth age, people are sitting in the halls of Mandos, almost to a peaceful state of mind, when freaking “the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon” gets stuck in their head again and fills them with Pure Rage (they only remember one verse! it’s not even a full verse!) (it’s been thousands of years dammit). It would be really sad if Maglor started singing a lullaby Feanor taught him, only to realize Finwe sang it to Nolo, who sang it to Turgon, [insert generations], who sang it to Elrond and Elros, who sing it back to him. Even cooler if Elros sings it to his kids, and it becomes an ages long game of telephone until one day in the 5th age Maglor hears it on the beach and is about to cry, but then realises it’s in the wrong fucking key, and half the words are mistranslated, and is annoyed instead.
Not sure exactly why, but singing together brokers a kind of peace. As for Maedhros, he isn’t exactly a singer, but he’s not tone deaf, and if Maglor’s a kid who sang 24/7 Maedhros is the older brother who knew how to deal with it. (in other words he’s very good at encouraging artistic talents, even when those talents seem to consist solely of being annoyingly Loud.
Anyways fast forwards thru hugs and kisses and kinda questionable parenting (but with good intentions!) and lots of love. I head canon that M&M “kick out” the twins like “you have to go because uh… we hate you very much” which would have been believable but they also sent them away with a guard on the road and carefully packed bags, plus once M&M were gone, a lot of their old followers showed up in rivendell like “This is Maglor’s child and we love him very much.” Which was a very interesting diplomatic incident to say the least, but reminded Elrond they did actually care about him and his brother. (Dunno if elves are going to Numenor)
Elrond, Elros, Celebrimbor (and sometimes Gil-galad, depending on his father of the week) have monthly parent crisis meetings. They are also all cousins and friends. I don’t make the rules. Thanks giving dinner is a hoot, I’m sure.
-
Also, unrelated note: but wouldn’t it be cool if Elros was the one with stronger foresight, and it’s because of that long view of life that he chose to be mortal? Like Elrond would see maybe a few years, or a century ahead, but Elros sees the millennia stretching out before them, all the destruction and futility and just nopes right on out.
-
again thank you so much for your patience with me while I was doing AP tests. I had quite a few ideas written out, but needed the headspace to organize them. Ily! Have a great day :)
-Sam
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gefdreamsofthesea · 3 years ago
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Since everybody's speculating about class/race combinations for CR3 idk I have some ideas:
I would love to see Travis play a cleric.
Somebody plays a paladin from day one. I think Oath of Redemption would be an interesting choice but I liked it from the moment I read about it.
I feel like someone's considered playing an elf based on the reactions to elves needing four hours of sleep but drow in a desert environment with much sun? Unlikely.
Ashley as a bard because Yasha didn't get to be one (would really like to see College of Whispers)
Extremely unlikely but someone chooses a Gothic lineage for shits and giggles
Changebringer content pls
If I could have my pick of Betrayer God to be this campaign's pain in the ass? Asmodeus. Please Matthew give me this charismatic deal making asshole. Torog is pretty creepy (honestlyhe doesn't really seem like a big bad sort of god). Bane and Gruumsh are kind of boring tbh.
Heard a rumor that the goal for Sam is to go tinier each campaign and they just released a tiny fey PC race. But also there's kobolds.
The new door/chair of this campaign will be, uh, TABLE beds.
Stars or Dreams druid. Stars for setting flavour, Dreams because my first 5e character was a Dreams druid.
None of these will probably happen this is just my latest pipe dream list.
ETA: Imagine Sam's character as a divination wizard, where most of their abilities are designed to mess with the DM
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theorangestar · 3 years ago
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Okay, Skyward Sword first impressions!
My first session was long, and there are spoilers for those who never played it before, so my thoughts are below.
- I like the ink blot opening sequence, but I’m a sucker for backstory and lore being told through illustrations and a different style than the main story.
- But why did the Goddess send all the humans to live up in the sky, but not any of the other surface peoples? Are humans just so weak that getting them out of the way is best for everyone? What about the others? I saw a Goron in that ink blot, are you telling me Gorons aren’t worthy of being saved and have to fight? Fuck you, Gorons are great.
- Also, it said humans were sent to Skyloft. Are... are we the humans? What’s the difference between Hylians and humans?
- Okay, the internet told me about Ghirahim and Demise, but who was going to tell me about the spiky doom monster?!
- The colors are very pretty. Skyloft looks great. The water reminds me of the Spyro games.
- Wow, Zelda’s bird is rude.
- Link’s got wood carving tools on his desk and I love me an artistic boi. He made all those figures in his room!
- Pipit is a little intense with severe eyebrows, but I like him. Karane is less intense, and I like her pigtails. I think she crocheted all the bird plushies in her room. I also think she has a crush on Pipit. Little evidence at this point, but that’s my theory.
- Also, if that’s the school uniform, does that mean boys get the long caps and girls get a beret? Karane doesn’t have a long cap like Pipit does. Why the different caps for different genders?
- Also Pipit doesn’t have his own room at the academy. Why doesn’t he have a room?!
- We were a year too late to have a yellow-clad hero. Bananas.
- Who made Fledge try to move these barrels by himself? Rude! At least give him a cart or something. I will help him. This poor guy!! I want to give him a hug, he seems so down on himself.
- Owlan and Horwell make me think of LOTR elves.
- PARKOUR!
- But seriously, I can see how these climbing features led to Breath of the Wild. Sky can parkour, but Wild just clings onto any surface like a spider and just goes.
- Remlits are Pokemon. And I love that Link just picks it up and just keeps smiling at it. Remlits are so cute!
- Zelda is so excited to see Link, this is such a turn from BOTW. She’s so sweet!
- Gaepora is literally an owl man. He is an owl. I don’t think his eyes can go any wider.
- Also, how come the Zeldas never look like their fathers? Zelda doesn’t look anything like an owl! And don’t get me started on Rhoam.
- Honestly, if I was Zelda, I’d be a little pissed if my dad kept saying how amazing my best friend friend is and pointing out how jealous I am but saying it’s natural because my friend’s bond with his bird is JUST. SO. AMAZING.
- SHE PUSHED ME!! D:<
- Wow, Link’s voice is deeper than I expected.
- Okay, someone stole my birb and I have to find it.
- Does no one name their Loftwings? Everyone just refers to them as “my bird”, “your bird.” If they’re supposed to be our soulmates or something, shouldn’t they have names? The remlit gets a name but not the Loftwing?
- ... Fledge, what do you know?
- These character designs are really weird. Obviously, Link and Zelda are made to be the most attractive characters, but the rest is a weird range of, slightly exaggerated but pretty normal to WTF.
- I don’t like Groose’s mouth. It makes weird shapes.
- Okay, he says I’m bragging about my friendship with Zelda, but so far it seems just her dad brags about it. I haven’t said anything. Sorry dude that I have her dad’s approval. Can’t beat that.
- Stop making that face at Zelda, it’s creepy!!
- FLEDGE!!! My goddess...  I may forgive you in time, but right now I’m mad. A heads up would have been nice! And after I helped with that barrel!
- I has sword.
- Okay, I do have a bit of trouble with the motion controls for the sword. Maybe I’ll get better with practice, but the precision I need for some of these cuts may be a problem down the line.
- Okay, does Link have premonition powers or something? First the dream with the monster, then he gets a vision at the blocked cave of his bird, even though he can’t hear or see it from this vantage point, and then later the dream with Fi. Is Link an oracle?
- ... It took me an embarrassing amount of time to realize that I needed to cut the gate with the sword. I’m dumb.
- MY BIRB!! :D I’m calling him Red. Or maybe Big Red.
- FLYING IS HARD OMG. I just keep going in circles over and over and over. This is going to be really difficult, and I had to recalibrate my joy cons a couple times midair.
- Okay, so Link and Zelda are the only ones around for the ceremony. Why is no one around to watch? How do they know we did it? We could’ve just skipped it and no one would have known.
- SHE PUSHED ME AGAIN!! D:<
- Aiming is hard when you���re falling. :’(
- Oh, this is a date. She wants to go on a date. Well okay, but only if she stops pushing me off stuff.
- HOW DID WE NOT NOTICE THE TORNADO?!
- Well shit.
- Also I fell again, but this time Zelda didn’t push me.
- Gaepora is really taking this well. I mean, he’s clearly concerned, but for someone whose daughter just potentially fell to her death, he’s really understanding about it.
- Fi ghost just had to lead me around the longest way possible, didn’t she.
- Also how do you pronounce her name? I’ve heard people pronounce it “Fye,” like “my”, but I keep wanting to say “Fee,” like “Do Re Mi.”
- I take back what I said about remlits.
- Motion controls once again my downfall. I’m trying to point the sword up, but Link will not follow me until my arm is completely arched over my head instead of straight up. I imagine from Fi and Gaepora’s point of view Link is just waving the sword around like a complete idiot.
- Between the sword fighting, the charging of the Goddess Sword, and all the flying, my arms are already sore. I better be ripped by the time this game is over.
- Okay, there was no chance to save any time from when I went to rescue Big Red to when I put on the green uniform. And Fi’s journey blocked all the save statues. I needed another save point in there.
- Fledge gave me a pouch, how sweet! Oh, he’s still talking down about himself. Okay, fine, I forgive him. My two goals for this game are to save Zelda and to find Fledge some self esteem.
Okay, that was my first session with Skyward Sword. I’m liking the story, but some of the controls are frustrating. I’m hoping it’s just a learning curve and I’ll get better as I go on. I know the Wii version had complaints about the controls, but I’m hoping some of it was fixed for the Switch.
Also Link is so cute!! I have to say, Link being so expressive is such a nice change from BOTW where he only makes expressions in certain situations, like when he’s taking a selfie, but he never makes any kind of expression when he’s talking to someone. It’s hard to read his character that way. But SKSW Link I feel I understand him more, and he has such a pretty smile. No wonder Zelda fell for him. XD
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liliumtheraven · 4 years ago
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Writing down dream head cannons that I like or are using
Shapeshifter HCs
First off I noticed a lot of different people could count as shapeshifters, so I wanna do a hc where everyone is one but they all have a limited number of forms
It’s more or so like, they all have their human forms and some have a specific animal/s forms too
Most can change into different forms of both, like fully change into said animal or maybe just change the ears or something (hence the people with just horns or wings)
Specific people with their other forms
Quackity kind of being a jester, hasn’t found something he can’t turn into, as long as he tries hard enough
Quackity has also mastered the form of shifting into other people, be afraid
Puffy being able to do ones that consists of different sheep/goat
Schlatt also sheep/goat
Tubbo, I like the schlatt dad au so he’s gonna be sheep/goat too (dunno if I wanna add bee in there too)
Tommy 100% raccoon you can’t change my mind, he never shows it thou so some people don’t even know
Techno obviously pig/piglin, he uses his full animal one for fights because of extra strength
Ranboo with his endermen, he can’t fully control it so he can only go full enderman during enderwalking, also explains why he doesn’t know his other half since cant can’t shift to it on will
so basically Ranboo can only turn to human and to his half and half form on will (or anything in between those two, like just the ears or hair or smth), the enderwalking is his stressed state that he can’t control and he hasn’t figured out how to turn into the other half but doesn’t really want to since he’s scared it’ll be just like his ender half
Phil has his bird form, not sure what type of bird yet or how many types of birds but bird
Funny = Fox, he uses his for mischief a lot and sometimes just to escape awkward situations 
Bad has demon form
Skeppy, they aren’t sure what it is, but it’s blue, just blue
Sapnap has some demon form like bad but make it ~fire~
Dream also has a goat/sheep form but also has that weird blob one with a smiley face, no one knows what the hell it is, it’s a bit creepy in some forms but that smol blob one is adorable and he hates it
Also maybe dream can turn into some animals he’s really familiar with, like he has strong connections with horses, dogs and parrots and can occasionally shift into them
Callahan has his reindeer form
Antfrost has his cat, he loves his
Foolish has his totem, it looks pretty sick
Charlie has his signature slime form
Hannah has this like elve/fairy form that has lots and lots of roses
I’m thinking Connor’s is just Sonic, no explanation 
Sam has his creeper form, he uses it to help build to carry more stuff and also uses it to intimidate people
Others haven’t learned what theirs is or they don't like sharing since I cant think of any atm (in George’s case he’s too busy sleeping to try to use his)
Also this explains Sally lmao I am not joining Wilbur’s cursed family tree
Family HCs
Phil -> Wilbur -> Fundy being related while Techno and Tommy more or so “adopted”
For Techno it’s more of “you helped me so I’m returning the favor and now we work together” to Phil
For Tommy it’s like “you found me and guided/rasied me” to Wilbur and now forever looks up to him and tried to make him proud
So Phil found Techno, Wilbur found Tommy and Tommy found Tubbo (where they found them in no longer important to them)
Also Tubbo and Ranboo are married platonically apparently lol
Tubbo being Schlatt son but never really knowing, maybe till after Schlatt died??? like maybe Phil knew and decided to finally tell him or maybe Glatt did because it was his happiest memory 
Puffy being dreams mom
Bad and skeppy raising Sapnap
Also I like the head cannon with Sam being George’s dad, since George has a room over at his place and everything
That’s all I got for the moment, if you wanna add some of you’re own go ahead, I love seeing all the different head canons, everyone's so creative <3
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maverick-werewolf · 4 years ago
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Folklore Fact - The Asrai
Here’s one that prooobably won’t be super popular, but hey, I find them super interesting, so I’m going to tell you about them!
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So, there’s an entire unopened can of worms on this blog insofar as folklore as concerned, and that’s the fae. Faeries. Fairies. However you want to spell it (I generally go for fae and faeries). Pretty much the only time I’ve really mentioned faeries before on this blog was in this ask about elves.
Faerie folklore actually fascinates me and I research it a lot for Wulfgard, one of my primary fictional settings. Thing is, fae are extremely complex and researching them takes a lot of time and work and absolutely mountains of notes.
So I won’t get too into the whole fae thing in this post, seeing as how this post is about a particular member of the fae... the asrai, from English folklore.
Now, there’s a big question about the asrai: did people actually ever believe in them? That’s, of course, a question with a lot of folklore things. In the asrai’s case, firstly, we have no known etymology. Yeah, none at all. That’s a little troublesome. Though most sources also say they are also called “ashray.”
Secondly, we do know that - obviously - there are plenty of “water spirit” legends out there. Heck, asrai have some aspects in common with even things like mermaids and nix/nixie/etc in a lot of legends. It could very much be that “asrai” is just another term for any number of other legends of similar nature.
Possibly the first surviving record of the term “asrai” pops up is in 1872, in a poem by Robert Williams Buchanan. He also wrote a sequel to the poem called “A Changeling: A Legend of the Moonlight,” which connects back to their fae nature (changlings are associated with fae; more on that in another post sometime!). To Buchanan, they are spirits that love nature and die in the sunlight.
There is another record of the term asrai, used by a writer who may or may not have been citing accurate information, as the author was citing only stories told by word of mouth that were supposedly passed down through generations. The problem with citing “local stories” or “stories your grandma told you” is that it’s like playing the telephone game over multiple generations and literally hundreds and thousands of years, and some of those generations don’t even care about it, either. The stories get so distorted over time that they’re basically useless information and no one actually believed any of it. This is why reliable folklore sources come from recovered written works, not from word of mouth - because we can’t trust the collective generational memory (unfortunately), but writing does not change with people’s extrapolations and failing memories. As such, you won’t see any professional citing “local stories” that don’t have a written source, or things a relative told them. It’s kind of like asking a random American for some American history and then taking everything he says as the absolute truth, just because they’re an American. There are late night skits that make jokes about that.
Wow, that was a slight tangent. Anyway...
So we don’t know much about the actual folkloric sources of the asrai itself, but we do know it’s very similar to a lot of other legends and is almost certainly just another take on several other stories, like things about mermaids and other nature spirits. Or the name could’ve been entirely made up by Robert Williams Buchanan. We don’t really know - but he probably got it from somewhere. That being said--
What is an asrai, anyway? They cannot exist long in the sunlight. Does that mean they’re undead?
No, not at all. Many spirits and things couldn’t stand the sun, such as trolls in Norse myth. They are defined as “water spirits,” more often than not. They are described in a lot of different ways, but my favorite source I have on the subject describes them as women, tall and lithe, with translucent skin. Sometimes they are just water, sometimes they have actual bodies of some kind. Generally, they are hundreds of years old.
In Cheshire and Shropshire, there were almost identical stories of fishermen capturing asrai in their boats. The asrai beg to be released, but no one can understand their language. The fishermen in both stories put wet weeds on the asrai even as it groans in the bottom of the boat. By the time they reach the shore, however, there’s nothing left of the asrai but a puddle of water.
In one of the stories, the fisherman handling the asrai tries to tie her up, but touching her burns his hands and scars him for life.
And... that’s it, really! That’s pretty much all we have on asrai in particular... but definitely not on general water spirits and other such nature spirits and water beings. That’s a topic for another time, though. Same for the fae - there’s so much to say about fae I honestly barely know where to start!
As for pop culture: looking around on the internet out of curiosity, I found out that the wood elves in Warhammer are apparently called “asrai” sometimes. I find that weird and interesting, given I know next to nothing about them. Do they turn into water sometimes? Like, water spirits? I don’t even know. I do know they look quite cool and creepy. But hey, either way, that’s cool that they’d use the word.
So there you have it! Curious about what an asrai might be like in a story? Maybe you’re thinking they’d just be water elementals, like in a fantasy video game? I had a different thought. You can find an asrai in my upcoming novel Wulfgard: The Hunt Never Ends, available online on Amazon October 30! Be sure to check it out and keep an eye on this blog for the release post and order link! Here’s a preview:
Didn’t take long for his eyes to adjust, then to adapt, thanks to that potion. Faint moonlight spilling in let him see limestone walls slick with condensation and a violently gushing spring, churning the water on the far end of the cavern at the base of the wall. Spitting it out straight into the reservoir, the flow of it turning gentle by the time it left the cave.
Heavy mist hung in the air here, maybe kicked up by the water. But something didn’t seem right.
Then he realized why.
Fear washed down upon them like frigid rain – so much fear that, for half a second, it froze every muscle in Caiden’s body. His nerves pulled taut, ready to break and snap down on him like a whip, hard enough to leave a few more scars on his back. Hand shooting to his sword hilt in a white-knuckle grip, he drew in a sharp breath and fought the chill that ran fast up his spine and forced him to be afraid.
This wasn’t natural. Gwen, from the way she was suddenly fumbling with her gear, seemed to know it.
Asger, on the other hand, didn’t. He bellowed out a hoarse shout, nearly fell spinning around to face the exit, and ran for the cave mouth.
All around them, a shrill voice echoed, “Leave this place!”
It spoke the words very clearly – not the gibberish he’d been told about.
Everything happened at once. A rush of air ripped by him, trailing cold in its wake, like off the surface of the spring itself. Asger screamed, his heavy boots scuffing the stone as something made him stumble and fall. Caiden charged forward at a surging shadow, blade ready to swing.
And an arrow lodged itself in his upper arm with a hard lance of pain and a meaty thunk.
Caiden coughed out a grunt and staggered from the impact, the arrow locking up his sword arm and stopping him mid-strike. Whatever had come past him and attacked Asger seemed already gone, moving faster than he could even understand.
Gwen appeared beside him in an instant, hand on his uninjured left arm and sputtering apologies. “Caiden!? I – gods— I shouldn’t have tried to shoot it, it moved so fast—”
The cave around him was far from silent. Asger swore as he scrambled to his feet, Gwen kept on apologizing as she tried in vain to tug Caiden out of the cave until he, halfway in a stupor, finally staggered along after her.
Boots against stone. Grass under their feet, bright moonlight overhead. Plenty of pain in his right arm that twitched useless and limp at his side.
These sensations stayed, but something was missing...
Find more like this on Wulfgard.net - and be sure to keep an eye out for the release of The Hunt Never Ends on October 30.
(If you like my werewolf/folklore blog, be sure to check out my other stuff! And consider supporting me on Patreon. Every little bit helps and helps me run this blog, and you get goodies and a chance to vote on the topic of the next werewolf fact!
Patreon --- Werewolf Fact Masterlist --- Twitter --- Discord Server --- Ko-fi)
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fandomflail · 5 years ago
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title: Recognition (7/8)
rating: M
summary: Soulmate trope AU. Set in a world where humans and elves coexist.
a/n: The whole fic has been edited, and this Chapter was posted somewhat 2 years ago, but I’ve now revamped it, it’s twice it’s original length and basically, just different. so yes, this is a legit update! and chapter is currently being edited so we’re almost there! Also, thank you kmomof4 for your encouragement. And galadriel from Ao3 for reading everything I’ve ever written and leaving a comment. This one is for ya’ll. 
Past Chapters: on AO3
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CHAPTER 7: Rattled
When she had first laid eyes on him, there was no mistaking Killian was an elf of quality lineage. With his sharp jaw line, piercing eyes, and tipped ears, he was the embodiment of a dashing elf.
However the night he came to pick her up for dinner, less than a week after the embassy dinner debacle, Emma would have never have guessed the man was elf.
His hair was artfully mussed, covering his distinctive pointed ears. He was dressed in a dark leather jacket, a dark blue dress shirt and dark jeans. Perhaps it was the jeans, a vintage human clothing that was all the rage across fashion spreads, that cinched the look, but Emma had been stunned into silence when she’d seen him.
He simply flashed her a cocky grin, as if he knew exactly how good he looked. “I know, Swan,” he had said, even though she hadn’t said a word.
She glared at him, but the effect was lost when she dove in for a kiss to show her appreciation.
“Seriously? You’re supposed to kiss after the date,” Henry complained, even though he was grinning.
“Mae g’ovannen, lad.”
“What do you know about kissing?”
“Mae g’ovannen,” Henry responded, ignoring her.
“Are you sure you’re going to be okay alone?” she asked, deciding to have that conversation with him later.
Henry rolled his eyes, making a ‘go’ motion with his hands. “Yes, mom, I’ll be fine, bye, go enjoy yourselves.”
She shook her head at him, linking her fingers through Killian’s. “Okay. Holo me if anything comes up, okay?”
“Yes, mom. Bye!”
As the door shut behind them, she could feel Killian laughing next to her.
“Oh shut up, just you wait.”
His laughter went silent abruptly, as she realized what she said.
“Emma?” he asked, the question hanging in the air.
“No! I mean, no, not that I know, no I just meant… not that.”
He nodded slowly, blinking, even as his eyes darted to inspect her flat stomach. His long lashes danced across his cheeks, before he exhaled lightly.
“Ready for a night of debauchery, Swan?”
“Are we buckling some swash or something?”
He laughed. “Something like that.”
* * *
“He took you on a cruise?”
“He did,” she confirmed, unable to stop the stupid grin on her face. “Up and down the river.”
“Damn, girl.”
Emma shrugged, sipping her vin in order to stop smiling.
“You’re really happy,” Ruby breathed out.
“Why the tone of surprise?”
The red-headed woman laughed, signaling to the waiter for a refill.
“It’s you, Emma. I love you girl, but you’re not exactly the warmest human this side of Alamané.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“So when do I get to meet him?”
“Woah, slow down,” Emma said, flicking a peanut at Ruby.
In a show of her excellent reflexes, Ruby caught it with her mouth, chewing on it with a shit-eating grin.
“Show off,” Emma muttered.
“Anyway, like I was saying, when do I get to meet him? It better not be on the wedding day itself!”
“For goodness sake,” Emma grumbled.
“Emma,” she whined, “you’re not answering the question.”
“He’s a little shy,” she hedged. No one knew she was dating an elf.
“I’m your best friend!”
“That’s debatable.”
“That’s rude.”
“Bite me,” she said, only to roll her eyes when Ruby grabbed her hand and bit it. The woman was an animal sometimes.
“I would love to join in on this little soiree,” a man’s voice pipped up beside them, sliding onto the open stool next to Ruby.
Emma turned to tell him off when the words died on her tongue. He was an elf. Not that being creepy assholes was limited to the human species, but it was rare to see.
He smiled. “I do have that effect on women, elf or human.”
“The only effect you’ll have from this conversation is my shoe in your arse,” Ruby said, with a cheerful tone that promised pain.
“Feisty, I like it,” the elf said, standing to face them. “and you, my lovely blonde vixen, look familiar. Have we met?”
She hadn’t been introduced formally to elvish society. She lived pretty much on the ‘human’ side of Alamané. It was unlikely that he’d ever seen her, as she’d kept away ever since that night in the embassy.
“You’re not even meeting us now,” Ruby snapped, clearly not in the mood for random hookups tonight.
“And if you decide to ignore her, you’re in for pain. And not the good kind,” Emma added.
“What a pity,” the blonde haired elf drawled, chocolate eyes twinkling at them.
“Yeah sure, bye,” she said, turning her stool to ignore the amused elf.
Ruby was glaring mutinously at the back of his head.
“You okay?” Emma asked, eyeing her friend. Ruby wasn’t usually that rude or standoffish.
“I’m not a racist,” her friendly said quietly, “but lately there’s been an influx of policies that seem to favor elves. I’m just a little pissed with the whole I’m a victim card they’re pulling.”
“What do you mean? How?”
Ruby leaned closer, speaking almost directly into Emma’s ear.
“A lot of it has only been tabled, nothing official. You know it’s my job to read Senator Katherine’s documents and brief her, right? A lot of it is…problematic. Apparently the elves think humans need to be limited to one child a family, because we’re overpopulating the planet. And because the Republic works on a representation basis, it means more humans in the Senate than elves. They’re worried about their interests.”
“Would that be bad?”
Ruby sat back with a sigh, keeping her voice low.
“I’m not saying we humans don’t need better family planning. Clearly some ancient practices of the First Voyagers has stuck around. But this is where it starts. They’ll say let’s stop them from having more children, then it’ll be let’s decide who gets children and so on.”
“Come on Rubes,” Emma cajoled, “they’re just holding humans accountable.”
“The problem is they still act like we just landed on this planet. It’s been 4,000 years!”
“It’s only been 6 generations for them. Isn’t the oldest elf like 900 years old or something?”
“Whose side are you even on right now?”
Emma blinked. Even if she hadn’t just found out about her elvish issues, she would have still had made the same remarks. It was objective, wasn’t it?
She stretched her neck, soothing the muscle with her palm before looking at Ruby.
“I was just saying, is all.”
“Whatever, let’s talk about something else.”
* * *
The breeze was strong up in the penthouse, the clear blue of the Vistula River reflecting the city in its waters. Emma shut the balcony door, leaning against the railing as she took in the city view. Three months had passed in a blink of an eye.
She fingered the chain hanging from her neck, finger dancing in and out of the ring Killian had given her. She could see the desperation in his eyes to accompany the gift with three words, sacred in both English and Elvish, but something about her expression must have stopped him.
And she had wanted to encourage him, perhaps even say it first, and yet…she had faltered, the words dying in her throat in an overwhelming tide of emotion.
He’d taken in it stride, though he couldn’t hide the light dimming in his eyes. It had been the same when she’d been sick two months prior, and he’d hesitantly given her a pregnancy test, only to softly smile at her relief at the negative result. A fake smile, one that said despite his insistence that she was right about a goddamn baby complicating everything, he still wanted it badly.
The weight around her neck had only been there a week, but Emma could no longer imagine not having the comforting presence of the ring resting in the valley of her breasts.
She sighed, taking in the city.
None of Liam’s search had yielded results about her parents. She wondered if they had died, or maybe, truly hadn’t wanted her. Killian was adamant that she had been sent away for protection, but the longer the fruitless search went on, the harder it was to deny that maybe she really was an unwensket.
“What are you thinking about?” a voice asked her, making her jump.
She turned in surprise, the heir to the elven kingdoms walking up to her soundlessly. She hadn’t even heard the door open.
“Stuff,” she responded eloquently.
“Stuff,” Liam repeated, with a bemused smile.
“Stuff,” she affirmed.
“You looked like you were brewing a storm just from your thoughts. Mother used to say that, especially when Killian threw tantrums.”
“He threw a lot of tantrums as a child?”
“What are you talking about, he’s still throwing tantrums.”
“No, now he broods and sulks in corners instead,” she said, laughing at Liam’s little grin.
He rested his forearms on the balcony, looking out in the same direction as she was.
“True. So why are you emulating him?”
“Just thinking.”
“If you say stuff…”
She laughed, nudging him with her shoulder.
“I know I got mad before, but I do want to meet my parents. I mean, I have so many questions.”
“I can only imagine. Unfortunately, it seems like they don’t want to be found.”
“That’s the thing I’m worried about. I mean, I got cycled into the human system. But it shouldn’t be that hard to fish me out from it, if they really wanted to, right?”
“Except it’s not like you stayed in Nysno. Or that we’ve broadcasted your origins.”
“I know, I know. I was moved, I travelled too far, they may have given me a human last name instead of whatever my elvish name is. I know,” she said, ticking off the possible reasons from her fingers.
“Actually… come to think of it… Emma is the human version of Ardhoniel.”
She stood straighter and cracked her knuckles. “Are-thonn-ee-ell? That doesn’t sound like Em-ma.”
“It’s the meaning, not the sound that is translated.”
“What does it mean?”
“Universe.  All encompassing. Everything.”
“Hmm… I don’t know about that.”
“I know you’re Killian’s everything,” Liam said, not a trace of irony in his tone.  
Despite herself, Emma found her face flushing. “Umm,” she said, “it’s only been a few months.”
“Short yes, but you’ve got the universe backing your claims.”
She sighed. Liam, despite his non-Recognition union, was a strong believer in the fates of true love or whatever.
“We’re still learning one another.”
“Oh please, you’re both madly in love yet dancing around each other despite being together. It’s maddening.”
She ran her fingers through her hair, quickly braiding it so the wind could no longer torment it.
“And to think, you first hated me.”
“You grew on me like moss on a damp forest tree, what can I say,” Liam teased.
“That almost sounded complimentary, you’re losing your touch.”
Before Liam could respond, a loud, insistent rapping on the glass door sounded. They turned in unison to see Killian, a big grin on his face as he held up a glass of mulled vin. He had insisted on remaking their mother’s old recipes.
The door slid open, and Killian poked his head out.
“What’re you two doing out here?”
“World domination plans, little brother.”
“It’s younger, not little, there’s nothing little about me, and two, Elsa is challenging Belle to some kind of trivia competition and I think Belle is winning. You better go referee.”
Liam rolled his eyes in exasperation, shaking his head conspiratorially at Emma.
Killian stepped out, two goblets in his hand.
Liam swiped the one his younger brother was just about to bring to his lips, earning a loud protest and an ensuing tug of war that ended when Liam warned that the liquid was about to spill.
Emma laughed as Liam used that opportunity to tug it neatly out of Killian’s grip, absconding with the mulled vin.
“Asshole,” Killian muttered, glaring at his brother’s smirking face behind the now closed glass door.
“Elves really are no different than humans, you know,” Emma said.
“Yeah, they’re all assholes.”
“Oh, stop being grumpy and let me taste it.”
Turning to her, he visibly brightened as he thrust the goblet in her hand. The nervous, excited energy she could feel from him was sudden and all encompassing. Emma felt a rush of adoration sweep through her as she met his wide blue eyes.
Emma took a delicate sip. It was surprisingly good - fruity, rich and potent.
“Impressive, Your Highness,” she teased.
“Really? It’s good?” He coughed, clearing his throat, “I mean, of course it’s good.”
She rolled her eyes at him, “Yes, it’s good.”
“Anyway, more importantly, do you know what just happened in the kitchen?”
She sipped her wine, nodding at him to continue as her eyes darted to see what could possibly be going on inside. Henry and Gracie were playing holo games. Belle and Elsa were moving their hands animatedly, seemingly talking over each other, while Liam watched like he was a hummingbird undecided between two flowers. Jefferson was the only one in the kitchen.
“What did Jefferson do?” She asked, as Killian said nothing, merely grinning at her madly like he was waiting for the ball to drop.
“Oh, not what Jefferson did, love, but Belle.”
“Belle?”
“Mmhmm.”
“Well, are you going to tell me or what?”
“She asked him out for dinner.”
“She what?”
“Well, more like…” he bit his lip and squinted, “more like, she asked him to dinner tomorrow to discuss something that came up during Gracie’s tutoring.”
Emma groaned, “That is not asking someone out.”
“You just had to be there. Context is key.”
“I didn’t even know Belle liked Jefferson. Oh wait, did he say yes?”
“Of course he said yes.”
“Huh,” she said, peeking another look at the elf in the kitchen.
“What?”
“He’s I mean he’s not… he’s fine with humans, obviously, but um, he’s never struck me as the kinda guy who would date a human. Not that it’s a date.”
“Darling, elf or human, he’s not exactly the most pekný.”
“Pek-what?”
“Pekný,” he repeated, “which is like… being pleasant. Personable.”
“Oh, well yeah, that’s an understatement.”
Emma put her glass down on the ledge, and moved forward to nip at Killian’s lips. The ease of which she could do this, and the sheer comfort it brought her would make her head spin if she thought about it too much, so she simply didn’t.
Before he could escalate their kisses, a shrill alarm sounded from his holo.
“Výstraha! Výstraha!”
They both looked down as Killian straightened his arm out. Výstraha was a warning call, and use of the holo in such a manner was regulated for emergencies only.
A string elvish words followed that warning in panicked, hurried, tone that Emma did not understand. She watched as Killian’s body immediately tensed, his eyes darting around, and was not startled when he grabbed her arm and pushed her inside the penthouse.
“Liam!”
But Liam had already moved towards them. Anticipating her question, Liam looked at her, with his brow furrowed and body tense, face one of shock.
“There was an attack,” was his explanation.
“At the place,” Jefferson clarified, and before she could ask, he said, “The King is dead.”
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theartofbeinganeldar · 5 years ago
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The Art of Being an Eldar: Legolas x Reader Chapter 2
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Summary: You're a fantasy-loving, LARPing human from this world, who's the black sheep of society because of your obsession for the unreal and alienation of what's real. When you're in the middle of a LARP battle with some pretty phony boars, you fall out of a tree and bust your head. You wake up, alone, and are suddenly attacked by some very pissed-off, very real wargs. Without any idea of how you got there, you got dropped into Middle-Earth, with only bits and pieces of memories of Tolkien's masterpiece, though your recollection of everything else is perfectly clear. And of all places in Middle-Earth, you got dropped into Mirkwood, with some suspicious, potentially hostile, Woodland Elves...
Chapter No.: Chapter 1
Key: [Y/N]=Your Name [F/N]= Friend's Name [B/N]= Bro's Name [S/N]= Sis's Name [M/N]= Mom's Name [e/c]= eye color [h/c]= hair color [s/c]= skin color
Notes: Listen to Medieval Pagan Music, Runestones when reading this chapter.
Warnings: Fluff, angst, graphic depictions of gore and violence (Cuz of orc battles y'know?), more angst, slow burn, some light depression in the first few chapters, some amnesia about Middle-Earth because the Valar say you're not supposed to have foresight, hard-core language, feels, lots and lots of feels, mentions of NSFW content, maybe some eventual NSFW content, LGTBQ+ characters, Thranduil being a jackass at first because he's fabulous, Legolas being a hot edgy prince that nobody can handle, Kili being an innocent bean, Hobbits being smol innocent beans, except for Bilbo 'cause he's been through some tough shit, Bard being dad of the year, Thorin being one dumbass boi, awesome dragons, awesome Nazgul, awesome scenery, awesome stuff in general, Elrond isn't listened to by anybody, confused Aragorn is confused,  Denethor's a bitch as always, Boromir lives, brace yourself for creepy as fuck Cream of Worm Tongue Grima Wormtongue, Gandalf. (yes these are all legit warnings don't judge me)
Pairings/Ships: Legolas x Reader, Legolas x you, Aragorn x Arwen, Faramir x Eowyn, Thranduil x Elvenqueen, Galadriel x Celery Celeborn, Boromir x OC, Thorin x OC, Fili x OC, etc. general LoTR standard shippings plus some of my own cuz I can't stand my boys being lonely
Word Count: I try to keep my chapters short, under 2000 words.
Rating: Teen (14+) for now
When I said I hated reality, I didn't mean I wanted to be ripped from it without my family.
How they'd healed you so efficiently was beyond your comprehension, and nobody came to visit you. You couldn't bring yourself to eat much of what they brought you. To think you'd finally gotten your wish, you'd finally, somehow gotten sucked into some alternate reality where fiction was fact and what you'd known and lived in for your entire life was nonexistent... It was amazing. Surreal.
But you couldn't stay here. Not without your family. Not without your mom, not without [B/N], not without [S/N]. [F/N]... You wished you could've at least said goodbye to him. Life without the only people you'd ever had seemed unreal, incomprehensible, and too nightmarish. Too... Alone. You couldn't lose them.
For hours, you waited, pacing the ten-by-ten cell furiously. You had to find some way to get out, some way to find whatever portal you'd triggered... A sound at the barred door made you freeze in place, whipping around like a meerkat. It was Blue-Eyes, and some of his guards, one of which was unlocking the door. "Are you letting me go?"
Blue-Eyes stared at you as if trying to figure out whether or not you were desperate or stupid. Finally, he shook his head, probably deciding it was most likely both in your case. Well, screw him. "My father wishes to see you."
You glanced to each of the guards that came to grip either of your arms. "Is that... Bad?"
Blue-Eyes smirked. "It depends on his mood."
You glared at him as the other two Elves ushered you out of the door, onto the precariously thin ledge just outside of the cell. "You're trying to freak me out, aren't you?"
Blue-Eyes didn't answer, but took up the rear of the procession. They lead you to a platform overlooking all of the mazelike bridge-sets of the dungeons, and opened a pair of elaborately crafted doors. You balked, your jaw fell, your eyes widened as far as they'd go, stunned by the view.
The building you'd thought was surrounded by trees? It was a palace-city, which stretched back from the front wall as far as you could see. And it was made entirely of trees. Bridges of wood, twisting trunks, curling pillars of wood holding up a vaultrf ceiling which opened up to the orange-gold canopy, and beyond, the cloudless blue sky. Huge, arched windows with stained glass of amber filled the front wall, framed in wood, every few dozen feet, letting in a golden light that made the entire place seem more surreal than it already was. Leaves fell too slowly here, as if afraid that touching the ground would destroy their fabulousness. Elves inhabited every floor, sailing gracefully around like gorgeous swans that glared down at the sudden ugly duckling in their midst.
You felt tiny.
"This is your home?" You breathed in amazement, going where the guards took you on autopilot as you drank in the magnificent sight. "It's bigger than the town I live in!"
"This is just a small portion of it," Blue-Eyes had a hint of pride in his voice. You glanced over your shoulder to see him taking in the view with a faint smile on his face. "This part is my father's palace. Only nobles and militia reside here."
"It's beautiful..." You surveyed the palace in awe. I'm here. I'm really here! This is where I'm supposed to be! "Do you all have different floors? Is it flameproof? What happens if there's a forest fire? Can you even get forest fires here?"
"Why would you like to know?" Blue-Eyes demanded sharply, all kindness gone just as suddenly as it'd arrived, replaced with obvious suspicion and disdain.
You sighed, and dropped the subject. You wouldn't be finding anything out about this place today. The guards lead you up a short flight of stairs, which stopped at a huge circular pavilion, lined with a different type of guard in silver armor and navy-blue masks covering their lower faces. They stood almost impossibly still, and each carried a deadly spear.
More stairs, curving upward from each side of the pavilion, lead to a massive throne of carved wood. A regal Elf lounged on it, holding a curled wooden staff. He wore silver robes lined on the inside with a deep crimson, and a crown of thin branches styled like an elk's antlers --or maybe a thornbush-- sat atop his head of snow-white hair. Piercing blue eyes watched you from underneath strangely dark (And thick.) brows, but his catlike face was drawn into an unreadable expression.
Blue-Eyes stepped before you and the guards, and put his right arm over his chest, fist resting over his heart, as he bowed at the waist. "My king, we have brought the prisoner."
Inwardly, you winced. What kind of father forced his son to call him 'my king'?
The Elvenking flicked his fingers toward the guards on either side of you. "Leave us."
As they left with barely a clink of armor, Blue-Eyes grabbed you roughly by the shoulder, forcing you to your knees. His grip was like iron. He leaned down to snarl in your ear, "Show respect. His majesty has shown you a great kindness in allowing you to live."
Aw, fuck. You forgot that these guys had healed you. If Lord Fabulous over there had decided that by even so much as breathing near his lands you didn't deserve for your wounds to be healed, you'd be dead right now. "O-oh..." You quickly fixed your position, and even bowed your head with an arm over your chest, like Blue-Eyes had done. "Sorry..."
"My son tells me he found you trying to escape from warg-bound orcs on our northern border," Elvenking drawled slowly. Wargs... Those big dogs... Why does that sound familiar? Were they in a book? Mythology? A game? You couldn't remember, and Elvenking didn't give you time to. "You were found near-death, and without any apparent recollection of how you came to be there. Is that correct?"
You weren't sure how to adress him. "Yes, sir. My lord. Your majesty. I'm sorry."
Elvenking continued. "Would you like to elaborate on what you do remember?"
His tone wasn't kind. It was "Tell me bitch or I will throw you off into the chasms below."
And there were lots of chasms.
"You won't believe me," You started, and risked a glance; Blue-Eyes and Elvenking watched you warily. You could easily say you were from this world, but you didn't know anything about it. You couldn't lie believably. And even if you could, Elves can sense lies. You figured you'd get some extra points if you were totally honest. "But I'll tell you anyway." So you started out with your explanation of coming from a place called Earth, and that you'd been having a battle against some pretty fake boars played by unconvincing actors in Live Action Roleplay, when you'd fallen out of a tree, banged yourself up, and knocked yourself out. You then proceeded to explain about the big dogs and the orcs.
Elvenking lifted his chin slightly for the sole purpose of glowering at you. "Tell me more of this... Earth." You told him all you could. About cars and trains and jets and phones, then on to TVs and movies, and the huge skyscrapers, and how modern slang was different from what it had been, and how where you came from, Elves and orcs and dragons were all part of a genre known as fantasy. You even tried, for a brief period of time, to explain the subject of eMail and social sites like Tumblr and Twitter, but you gave up at their odd looks as they tried to comprehend the concept. You told them about all seven continents, presidents, world leaders, endless wars, hunger, trashing the planet and all other shit that was wrong with Earth.
You could've been there for hours explaining it all. When you were finished, Elvenking regarded you like he'd just came to the conclusion that you just weren't normal. "It seems, [Y/N], that your world is poisoned."
"It is!" You agreed excitedly. "Nobody cares about it anymore! It's why I grew up to be so... Un-normal, by my world's standards."
"I see..." Elvenking blinked slowly. "Then you are, since you are a spawn of this Earth, equal poison to this world, are you not?"
All the blood drained from your face. "What?"
He looked to Blue-Eyes. "Kill them."
Blue-Eyes gripped you by the back of the head, and your hands flew to his wrist as he yanked your head back. With a flourish, he drew one of his ivory-handled knives and pressed it to your throat. "Wait!" You screamed, and Elvenking raised a hand.
"Last words?" Blue-Eyes sneered.
"I don't know where I am," You choked out quickly; the cool steel of the blade was digging into your neck, cutting a fine line. "I don't know how I got here, but usually when stuff like this happens in movies, there's always a portal. Let me find it-- send an escort if you want! Take me back to where you found me, and I'll find the portal and go home. You'll never see me again!"
Elvenking dropped his hand, and your heart jumped, expecting your head to go with it. "Do you really think that is wise? I sense no dishonesty from you, but you could very well be a spy from your world, which seems so intent on conquering and destroying peace. I will not let this world, much less my own land, fall prey to yours."
"I won't tell anyone about you, or this place, I promise! I don't even know where this is!" Tears of frustration pricked the corners of your eyes. "I'm not a damn spy! I don't even know how I got here! Give me a couple of days to find the portal. Then I'll leave. What if there was a way for you to know I'll keep my word? Like a blood-oath, or something!"
"And if asked where you had gone?" Blue-Eyes countered, cocking an eyebrow.
"I'll tell them I went to Narnia, dammit! They never take me seriously anyway!" Your eyes widened. "This isn't Narnia, is it? Narnia didn't have Elves!"
"No, this is not... Narnia." Elvenking replied. "And you will not know the name of this land. You have three days to find your portal. You will be accompanied by a small assembly of my best warriors. If you do not find the door to your world within the given three days... I will give the order to kill you."
You swallowed hard. The steel dragged across your throat painfully. "Th-that sounds fair." It didn't, but, you just rolled with it.
"Legolas, you will go with them," Elvenking said; something clicked in your mind. You knew that name... You knew that name. But... Why?
Blue-Eyes-- Legolas-- nodded and finally removed the blade from your throat. Lord Fabulous inclined his head once, and you vaguely thanked him, too concerned with how you knew Blue-Eyes's name. He kept a tight, painful grip on your arm, actually digging his fingers in until you were pretty sure he cut off most of your circulation.
When you reached your cell, he thrust you in roughly, making you stumble forward. You whipped around to glare at him. "Could you be careful, Blue-Eyes?"
He paused in locking the door. Confused, he brought his sapphire eyes to meet your [e/c] ones. "What did you just call me?"
"Blue-Eyes," You suddenly felt a little embarassed about picking a nickname for him. Shit, you'd never let that bother you before. He could screw off. "I didn't know your name until a few minutes ago, so... I just picked something to call you."
He raised an eyebrow incredulously. "And you chose to call me after my eyes." It wasn't a question; it was a statement.
You flushed a little, glancing to the side with only your eyes nervously, then back to him. "Uh... Yeah. That's pretty much it."
He rolled his eyes and walked away. Before you even realized what you were doing, you'd ran to the bars and grabbed hold of them, pressing your cheek up against them to watch him walk away. "Blue-Eyes!" He stopped, but didn't turn around. "Your name... Legolas. I think I've heard it before."
He turned his head slightly, like he might be interested, but your hopes fell through the floor when he just continued walking. You immediately wished you'd've said something to get his attention, so he'd come talk to you. Like, Hey, I'm really a spy for Earth, MWAHAHAHAHAHA.
Ok, maybe not that drastic...
But you did wish he'd stayed to talk to you. Even if he'd tried to kill you. Legolas... You slid down the bars, sitting on the floor. Your knees came up to your chest of their own accord. Legolas... What do your Elf eyes see? You knew that you knew his name, but where did you know it from?
They're taking...
Aw, damn. It was right on the tip of your brain. Lord Fabulous looked really familiar, too. He reminded you of Ronan the Accuser from Marvel. Why couldn't you remember? Was it a side-effect of being tossed to another reality? What else did you not remember...?
You sat there for hours, until one of the guards brought you some food. You picked at the meal, as a tune got stuck in your head that you couldn't quite place...
Home is behind...
The world ahead...
Here, the song fizzed out like a radio signal, then you got another bit of it...
All shall fade..
All shall...
...Fade...
~ominous time skip~
You, Blue-Eyes, and a team of Elvish warriors like the ones who'd helped you escape the dogs and orcs set out at dawn, which was way too early for someone used to getting up at noon most of the time. All the Elves showed off their glowy perfect selves by leaping gracefully to pebble to pebble like the regal shits they were, including Blue-Eyes.
Actually, scratch that. Blue-Eyes was the fucking king of being a show-off.
They moved fast, and you were surprisingly able to keep up with them. Not one of the Elves wanted to speak to you; they seemed to consider you an abomination.
You kinda seen what they were getting at, though. You were still in your bright white, blue, and black sci-fi Elf outfit from yesterday, complete with the latex ears and bright blue faux-hawk, which had become much less faux-hawk-y after sleep. You were covered in dried blood, dirt, and parts of your outfit were ripped. You'd tried to clean up as best as you could when you were woken up by using the water from the cup you'd been given to scrub your face and arms with the stunningly clean sheets on your cot.
In other words, you stuck out like a bright blue flower in a field of dark grass. You didn't know the way back to the river, so most of the Elves surrounded you discreetly while Blue-Eyes took the lead. Every one of them had a bow or sword or knife out and ready, so one wrong sniff and you were dead.
You traveled for about an hour before anyone spoke. It was Blue-Eyes, to your surprise. "Why is your hair blue?"
"Huh?" Of all possible questions, that one hadn't been expected. Though, that was kind of dumb of you, to just assume they wouldn't eventually wonder if everybody from your world had crazy hair colors.
"Your hair," Blue-Eyes specified, sounding condescending, like his hair was much better than yours because it was long and perfect and almost white. "Why is it blue?"
"Oh," You cleared your throat. "It's dye. My real color is [h/c]. Lots of people do it where I come from. You can dye it a natural color, or an unnatural color, like so. Some keep their natural color and just add streaks that aren't their natural colors. Some dye their full hair, like me, for the sole purpose of cosplay--uh, dressing up as made-up characters for events--and others dye it just for fun. Or to stand out, I guess. But I wouldn't advise it. It ruins your hair. I just don't care, though."
"Why would anyone want to do that?" One Elf asked in horror, then sneered at you. "I suppose those of your world simply do not appreciate the naturalities of the body."
You shrugged. You should see the LGTBQ+ community... But you didn't feel like explaining any of that to these people right now. Especially when they obviously looked down on stuff like that.
"And what character are you meant to be?" Blue-Eyes asked in a challenging tone.
You flushed. "... A sci-fi Elf."
"...Sci-Fi?" A different Elf asked. "What is that?"
"Science fiction," You specified. "Basically, I'm supposed to be an Elf from another planet. It seemed like a good idea at the time."
"Is that why you have pointed ears?" Blue-Eyes questioned, and you nodded.
"Yeah. They're latex-- a kind of rubber. Wait, do you even have rubber here?" You waved a hand. "Nevermind. They can come off pretty easily, though. Speaking of which, I'd better take them off before they cause damage..." You reached up to one of your ears, despite the looks the Elves gave you.
Blue-Eyes stopped for a minute, halting the whole group. He looked at you like you were crazy. "Whyever would you put something on your body that could cause damage?"
You blinked. "That is a very good question, Blue-Eyes, and one I don't exactly have an answer for. Almost everybody does it at some point." You felt for the flap of latex, but you couldn't find it. Hell, you couldn't even find the edge of the prosthetic. "Oh shit..." You breathed.
"What is it?" Legolas huffed, and turned around impatiently.
Your eyes widened; you couldn't let them think you were panicking, but, well, you were, and shortly after, you did. "I-I can't get it off."
Blue-Eyes's brow furrowed. "Will it cause permanent damage if they are not removed?"
"Maybe? Yes? My skin goes red and itchy and starts to swell up if I touch latex for too long, so, I'm gonna go with a definitely on this one. Just keep walking. I should have them off by the time we get to the river."
But you didn't. There was no flap, no edge of the latex. If it weren't for the fact that you did put latex ears on, you wouldn't have known you had latex ears on. A suspicion grew in your core, so you grabbed hold of the pointed tip, and pinched down with your nails hard and fast. "Ow!"
Every Elf turned to look at you as you pulled your hand away. Some blood was on the tips of your fingers. "Why, in the name of the Valar, would you hurt yourself?" Legolas sighed like a parent lecturing a child, but you were staring at your fingertips in shock. Valar...
"I'm an Elf..."
"I beg your pardon?" Apparently the mere thought of being the same race as you was too much for Blue-Eyes to handle. It was fucking offensive.
"I'm an Elf!" You shouted, and snatched your hand to your chest. "The ears won't come off! They bled and hurt when I pinched them! I'm a damn Elf! When I fell through that portal, I was a normal human! Now I'm an Elf! I don't know whether I should be freaking out or excited!"
Legolas rolled his eyes. "It won't be permanent. Obviously, here you're an Elf. There, you're not. When we get you through the portal, you'll be a human again."
"But..." I don't want to be human... Yet, you were also trying desperately to get back to your family, on pain of death and loss of cool fantasy land. If only you'd wake up to learn you were in some kind of damn coma...
You waved your hands. "Ok. Alright, fine. Is this where you found me?"
Legolas gestured to a particular rock. "The exact spot. Do you think you could find your way from here?"
You smirked; you'd always been good at knowing your way. "Please. I was born with an innate sense of direction. Now how the fuck do we get over this damn river?"
Legolas grinned. "You're an eldar now, aren't you? See if you can get across it yourself." Eldar... That had to mean an Elf of some sort, right?
You stared him down for a second, hands on your hips. He smirked cockily back, pure smugness on his expression. "Ok. Sure. What's life without risk?"
So you took a deep breath, and headed for the opposite bank.
You and your siblings had this special hiking trail in a park, and on this trail was a creek slash pond area. Several of them. You'd always cross the creek carefully, each step placed just so, and quietly, too, so that you could see the frogs-- it was a frog hunt without actually killing said frogs. The exercise gave you all good balance and a know-how for shit not that rock.
But this river was much different than the creek back home. It was clear, and clean, and strong as fuck, so one wrong move and you'd be whooshed away, with Blue-Eyes giving Lord Fabulous the excuse of "Oh they died in the river tragically oops..."
The rocks were unstable. The river swelled over them every so often to make them slippery. Your rubber boots were less than zero help. But you were an Elf now, right? So that had to make you unfairly agile. You took another deep inhale, then took what you hoped was a graceful leaping step, only for you to slip and nearly bust your ass. Elvish powers have to be learned. Noted.
When you finally got to the other side of the bank, you were stiff, and your heart was pounding. Behind you, the Elves sneered and jeered and all kinds of other "eers". You whipped around, and flipped them off. They looked somewhere between shocked, offended, and terrified. You realized they might not know the symbolism of it, and might think you were cursing them. When they reached you, Blue-Eyes was the first to demand what that was all about. "What was that all about?!"
You panicked under pressure. "U-uh... I-it's a minor insult where I come from. Very minor. We use it frequently as a joke among close friends. A friendly insult. Yeah. Sorry. Won't happen again." He totally didn't believe you. So you quickly changed the subject. "O-oh, uh, this way!"
Scenery seen at night was harder to recognize during the day, and vise versa, but you knew you hadn't gone too far up the river when you came across some massive paw prints and scrape marks from where you'd skidded down the bank. Another bonus clue was the scrap of bright blue fabric, from your skirt/tunic thing, hanging precariously from a branch.
It took you the better part of an hour to find the tree you'd woken up at. "Okay, this it it."
"Are you certain?" Blue-Eyes asked you.
"Wait." You laid down, and yep, everything was the same, except in daylight. Legolas frowned at you as you stood, probably ashamed to even breathe the same air as you. "Yeah, this is it."
Blue-Eyes ordered something in Elvish, jerking his head. The Elves immediately set about making camp. "So, in your world, you fell from the highest branches of an oak, yes?"
"Yep, breaking several things in the process."
"And you lost consciousness after you hit the forest floor?"
"Yep."
Legolas hummed and looked up into the canopy. "Then by all means... The portal should be where you laid."
You glanced down at your feet before bouncing up and down a little. "Nope. Nothing."
Legolas huffed. "You may have to try climbing this tree and falling into this spot."
A deranged laugh escaped your throat, which you quickly stifled. "I'm sorry, but are you crazy? What if I die? We don't have the same healing stuff as you guys unless you can pay for it up front, and I'm very poor. So is all of my family. We can't afford that shit. So if I die, what's the point in going back?"
Legolas glared at you. "I didn't mean from very high. Just high enough to hopefully send you through, but not high enough to kill you. Your healers will mend broken bones, will they not?"
You scoffed dejectedly. "Yeah, but for a pretty hefty bill..." You threw your hands up. "Whatever. I'll die anyway if I don't try. Might as well." With Legolas watching you carefully to make sure you didn't try to jump from tree to tree, you started to climb.
Was it really only yesterday that you'd been having a fun, standard LARPing day with your family and [F/N]? The real world seemed like fantasy, now. This felt real. This felt like where you should be. But if your family weren't here, you wouldn't be able to enjoy it. You'd always feel as if you abandoned them. You wondered, did time pass differently? Did it go faster there, and slower here? Or was it the other way around? Would you find the portal, and return to the real world to find your family long gone and the year a thousand into the future? Then you'd wish you'd never left this place. Or would you find not a moment had passed, and to them, it was still the terrifying moment of not knowing if you were dead or alive, to find you unharmed? Would you then be able to convince them to fall through, even on the chance that the portal could only be used a handful of times, and if it did work, would a millenia had passed here? Even Blue-Eyes would've aged by that point, however slightly.
Once you'd reached a suitable height, you braced yourself against the trunk. "How's this?"
Legolas nodded. "Fine. Jump when you're ready.”
You took a minute... Ah... Better get this over with. One does not simply... Damn, what was that meme? "Ok, ready when you are."
Legolas stepped back, and waited; you hesitated, then jumped, and you felt deja vu as you barreled toward the ground, landing flat on your back. The impact knocked the wind out of you, and you felt a painful snap in your right ribcage. You kept your eyes closed; you heard nothing aside from the birds in the trees. You hoped, then hoped some more, expecting at any moment to hear the frantic footfalls of your family rushing to help you...
"Well, I see I was entirely wrong on the matter," Blue-Eyes stated simply, and you frowned. Fuck...
"Ya think? I'm still seeing priss-ass Elves in a goddamn forest that isn't the one I fell in. Fuck you, Blue-Eyes, for having me break a rib for no good damned reason." You glared at him as you tried to sit up, barely making it halfway before Legolas helped you, albeit roughly.
"Watch your tongue," Blue-Eyes snapped. "If it were not for us, you would be dead."
You pursed your lips. "You're gonna kill me anyway just for breathing on your trees, so why didn't you just let me die?"
For a second, Legolas seemed to feel pity for you. "I am sorry. Truly, I am. Perhaps if we fail to locate your way home, I could convince my father to refrain from executing you."
You huffed, wincing as the action hurt your broken-on-some-level ribs. "Why? So I can live the rest of my suddenly immortal life in a dark cell, underground, just for existing? Hell no. I'd rather die."
"Perhaps you could have another use," Legolas offered, and you shook your head.
"Never in my life have I been considered useful." You eyed Blue-Eyes disdainfully. "Ever. By anybody. If you can find a place for somebody like me that doesn't involve imprisonment, fine. But I won't be able to live with myself if I can't find a way back to Earth. I need my family. They're all I ever had."
Legolas knelt beside you. "You... Seem to be very close with them. You love this..." He looked off into the trees, searching for the word. "...Life, so much, and have wished for it for so long, but you'd give it up, to be with them in a world that does not want you... You have a brave heart."
You took the compliment. "Thanks. Now let's find this damn portal, shall we? I've got a couple more ribs to bust."
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