#love how the relationships and the dread of destroying everything you touch and not being able to love in peace is portrayed in the og

[burquillos]

Been sick the past few days and have been watching trigun (both versions of the anime) and hoooooo boy!! It's so fun!!

[ladyloveandjustice]

Summer 2024 Anime Overview: DEAD DEAD DEMONS DEDEDEDE DESTRUCTION

A giant mothership is hovering over Tokyo. The aliens haven’t done anything or even made themselves known yet, but Japan and America are already trying to blow that UFO up, and show off who has the best weapons, causing many civilian casualties along the way. While all this happens, two girls are just casually living their lives. But are they as normal as they appear?

One thing I want to say is if you watch this anime and care about being intensely spoiled, do not watch "episode 0" until you've finished episode 16. It actually slots chronologically between episode 16 and 17, and that's where the episode took place in the manga, so I have no idea why they did that. Fortunately I had someone to warn me about that, so I will be that someone for you.

Dead Dead Demons DeDeDeDe Destruction or De x 8 as I will be calling it, can be really tough show to watch—not because it’s bad, it’s very good, but because of how depressing and visceral it is at times, and how devastatingly accurate it is to the shitshow of our world. This tends to be balanced a bit by the touching friendships (and possibly? More?) of the very likeable cast of teenagers…but you also feel a huge sense of dread about their safety as things ramp up and their stories deepen.

The anime goes hard on criticizing the military industrial complex, Japan’s government, America’s government, xenophobia, treatment of immigrants, rich people, and conspiracy theorists. All things I also hate, so that’s great. What hurts is how you could easily see the events happening—waging war on the aliens despite no provocation, people using an app to to hunt down and slaughter them...

It shows how even some of the protestors of the genocide use their movement to cover their own selfish motivations, meanwhile countries taking the situation as an opportunity to vie for power and dominance, rich government officials lie to their people and abandon them…obviously there's a lot of commentary here on how we dehumanize immigrants and minorities and enable genocides for capitalism and political power.

It's very bleak, and there were a lot of episode that had me just feeling sad, especially comparing it to current events. But there's also this interesting focus on normal people trying to live their lives during this alien "invasion", and the kids who still go through the dramas and upsets of everyday life. And especially the “I’d burn down the world for you” intense emotional relationship between Kadode and Ouran, the two teen girl leads.

Ouran is the main lead, and she’s a chuuni beyond chuuni, acting wacky and cheerful and spouting nonsense-- except if you pay attention, she's saying some pretty valid things—critiques of capitalism, war, government surveillance—but then following it up with something wild like “and that’s why I should rule the world”. You get the sense she’s cloaking an awareness of how shit the world is in humor, and as the show goes on and as her surprisingly intense and weird backstory unfolds, it becomes clear why that is.

The relationship between Ouran and Kadode is the center of everything--their bond IS the show. It's that kind of ride-or-die, I'd-kill-for-you, I'll-be-by-your-side-even-if-the-whole-world-is-against-you, in-every-life-i'd-find-you-and-love-you, soul-bonded, fiery devotion and love. They are the most important person in each other's lives, full stop. It's those kind of relationships that are so transcendent it goes beyond simple definitions of romantic and platonic. In other words, my kind of shit exactly.

But, as far as romance goes, Ouran, at least, is definitely queer and the depths of her determination to keep Kadode safe in a world that wants to destroy her girl that would make Homura Madoka Magica blush. (Kadode is more ambiguous, but she’s definitely soul bonded with Ouran. And honestly should just date Ouran because god she needs to be rescued).

There’s also a gentle empathy for marginalized people underneath all the horror—the girls befriend an alien trying to survive in the guise of a human, and it doesn’t seem like a coincidence that the first person our alien tells absolutely everything to is the gnc/potentially trans person of the group, Makoto (To be specific, they seem to still be figuring out their identity, but they definitely present feminine and specifically came to Tokyo because their small town wouldn’t be okay with how they like to dress). The way Makoto immediately shields their alien friend from others when they make the reveal that they saying “Don’t let them see, it’s not safe” and how it’s followed up by the alien reassuring Makoto that their friends will be okay with it if they take their wig off to swim...it makes the metaphor extremely clear, and it’s always nice when a series can explore marginalized characters both textually and metaphorically.

Through the kids, we get kernels of hope in this story, a reassurance there are kinder people in this world, and a hope that kindness will endure.

As depressing as the story can be, what it has to say is important and it doesn’t hold back in making you see what it’s going for—from the “Cool Japan” logo flashing right before the  Japanese government gives a weapons demonstration that will later kill citizens and destroy innocents...

...to the Trump-alike American President (and let me tell you it’s startling to be watching a show in Japanese and suddenly Donald Trump impression in perfect English) *(had to use the manga here because Crunchyroll didn't close-caption this part :/)

Then there's the American tourists, who were clearly va’d by someone really good at English, potentially a native speaker, and it’s incredibly funny how much of their dialogue has “fuck” in it and seeing the subtitles skip over that. Also much of their dialogue is treating the devastated Japan as a tourist attraction and saying how funny it all is to them. Logan Paul has entered the chat.

De x 8 very clearly hates America and recognizes it as a blood thirsty colonial power, which is correct, but the show is just as hard on it’s own country, saying the Japanese government would happily get back on the colonizing horse if they had an excuse, and many citizwns would mindlessly support them.

A small thing I appreciate is far from the usual anime aesthetic where everyone is blandly cute, the anime gives a ton of people ridiculously cartoony features that make everyone distinct—and being goofy looking is not meant to indicate a character is stupid or ugly—Makoto’s a super sympathetic character with giant cartoon buck teeth and one character that’s even pointed out as pretty has like, a pig snout nose. (It also makes it so the character noted as being drop dead gorgeous...actually is, instead of coming off as just as conventionally attractive as the rest)

Soooo a lot of good stuff going into this story. Let’s talk about some caveats.

There’s a continuing storyline between Kadode and her adult teacher, who takes her to his place to have sex with her. When he does, she ends up ditching him because of her feels for Ouran (gay) and I thought that would be the end of it, but nooope he’s a groomer, they pick up dating again when she’s in college, literally months after the previous encounter. The dude is presented as a scumbag, he cheats on his girlfriend, he seems generally apathetic, his clear discomfort with Kadode calling him “sensei” shows that he knows what he’s doing is wrong …and ultimately the relationship is shown to be unfulfilling, with Kadode directly stating so and acknowledging he’s just advantage. That doesn’t stop it from being uncomfortable though, especially since it’s confirmed he and Kadode have sex eventually (offscreen, thank god) and honestly, I felt it dragged on way too long. The first encounter pretty much demonstrated everything we needed to know about the whole thing in my view.

And of course there’s a ton of potentially triggering content in a story like this—from genocide to suicide to child murder to almost anything you can think of. Also like, one character has a sister complex, but on the milder side for anime. One where it’s conceivably platonic, and it’s not like he goes after her boyfriend Yuri Forger style, so it doesn’t bother me too much. There's also a good dose of fatphobia. And finally moment where a woman reveals she has ADHD (which I've never actually heard anyone say in anime so I actually got a little excited the more fool me) and then is almost immediately shown to be faking it.

The ending…is another big sticking point for me. It feels disconnected from the rest of the series, mainly focusing on a character we barely know and likely don’t care about and spending very little time with the characters we do, presenting an interesting status quo and immediately abandoning it, and while earlier episodes of the series presented "actions have consequences and we gotta live with them" as a major theme, it was suddenly like, actually they don’t!

The ultimate ending, again, hinges on a decision from a character we don’t care about and honestly feels like a deus ex machina. It felt almost like the author really wanted a happier ending but knew that wasn’t in line with the story he’s told so far, so he just tacked it on. Or maybe it was an editorial mandate, who knows. I think the most satisfying way to see watch episode 1-16 as its own pretty satisfying complete story (which works really well), and then treat episodes 0 and 17 as their own separate thing, a potential additional ending but not the definitive one. At least that’s what I did.

Overall, De x 8 is a show with a lot to say and it gives you plenty to chew on. While it is often depressing, it is very rewarding. The unbreakable bond between two messy girls, as well as the moments of ordinary joy and small human/alien journeys are the core of the show, and what makes it shine. I definitely encourage you to give it a watch. It's being really slept on, and it shouldn't be.

[deceptive-daydreams]

Whatever She Wants; I Will Do Anything - E.M.

Eddie x fem reader

2.9K Words

Inspired by the song Graceland Too by Phoebe Bridgers. Or where you’re very good at keeping your guard up and not letting others in only to crumble under the pressure. And Eddie is there to help you put the pieces back together.

Warnings - angsty, depictions of mental illness, dark thoughts

A/N - This shit is emotional and this song has been stuck in my head for days so I had to do something with it. Any feedback is appreciated 🥹

Masterlist

— I would do anything you want me to

I would do anything for you

I would do anything, I would do anything

Whatever you want me to do, I will do

—

If you could pick the scenery to describe your own brain, it wouldn’t be a field of daisies, fresh and heavenly, or rainbows after a light summer rain, sticky but romanticized.  It wouldn’t be angelic beach views with sunsets marbling the sky or even the starry night with the moon soaking the earth in its celestial light.   No, these things were magnificent, pleasing to look at, easy to take in.  Very unlike your brain.  

Your idea would be more of a tsunami ripping everything apart, having no mercy on anything in its wake—destroying everything it touches.  Emotions receding into the sea quietly before ultimately coming back in a massive wave and disrupting the quaint living of those around.  Murky skies and shattered hope.  People running, and running far just to avoid the disaster—the impending doom that was you.  That is exactly how you’d describe your brain. 

Sometimes if you were lucky there were a select few weeks in between the storms of your mind where you’d feel a sliver of relief, a drought in the ever flowing thoughts that dismantled your life.  Times where there would be a glimmer of ambition and an inkling of motivation.  It never lasted long, fleeing as soon as you were starting to get better.  A colossal wave consuming you once again, and people would go running as they always did—the commotion of the storm too turbulent for them to brave.  

And the agonizing thoughts would begin to stew at the very core of your brain.  Simmering until they boiled over at random.  

Too hard to love.

Useless.

Worthless.

Barely a person, a walking corpse devoid of emotion due to the burnout.

Not worthy of love.

Not worthy of anything.

I should have never even made it this far, sixteen years was my limit.

I don’t want to do this anymore, please don’t make me do this anymore.

It was all so daunting, so intimidating and heavy.  It truly felt like you did not belong on this earth and there was absolutely no way to combat it other than merely surviving.  Days passed and you were trapped in the endless cycle that was existing without purpose.  

Your boyfriend, Eddie, sweet Eddie had a life to live and you couldn’t bear to burden him with the sorrows of your aching soul.  Eventually he’d realize what a nuisance you were, how crippling your state of mind could be.  He didn’t deserve to be detained by the relationship you so thought was out of pity.  Ever so generous, kind, enamoring, handsome, loving, gentle, loud, assertive—everything Eddie was made of, was something you believed you never once deserved.  You dreaded the day he would glance at you and come to his senses.  She is too broken for me, I can’t love her.

The convincing mask you were able to automatically put on was all too familiar.  Being able to physically front that you were happy when the reality of it all was that demons swam through your bloodstream and never left, only lying dormant every once in a blue moon only to come back at full force.  It felt like poison, the way you would be okay one moment and suddenly in seconds you were grasping onto your sanity, clinging onto any bits of reality—of your mortal self only to be swallowed up by harsh accusations toward yourself that would have you sinking back into your bed for as long as it required.  And that’s how you got so good with the mask, forcing yourself to conform to the world around you when you absolutely couldn’t rot in bed, other obligations taking priority despite the poison coursing through your body.  A smile on your face, a compliment here, a joke there, sprinkled with some stupid story from the other day that always seemed to appease your audience.  It was all fake and no one could sniff it out.

Until Eddie came along and he was able to detect even the slightest shift in your demeanor.  Though you could throw the mask on, it didn’t always work with him and he would encourage you to take it off.  You never did.  Insisting I’m fine, just a little tired.  Lying through your teeth.  You couldn’t help it, you’d never let your guard down with anyone ever.  How were you supposed to when it didn’t even feel like an option?  A people pleaser to your core, you’d take your feelings with you to the grave.  

The first time Eddie stumbled upon you crying, he was at a loss, not knowing how to approach the situation.  Do I hug her?  No, what if she doesn’t want me to?  Do I hold her hand?  Does she want me to leave?  Did I do something?  What if I made her cry?  Does she want to break up?  Every thought flew at him at lightning speed, practically slapping him in the face.  Before any decision could be made, you sucked back the tears and used your sleeves to aggressively clear your under eyes.  I’m fine, I just watched an emotional movie.  Lies.  Not wanting to push you further, he nodded and held you close.  But he knew.  You were suffering, drowning in your own fucked up world and he had no idea how to pull you out.  When his own mind started suffocating him he could at least voice that he wasn’t having the best day, also being the type to never burden others with his invading thoughts.  He’d leave it at that and sulk in his room but you would always sit with him, if he allowed.  If not, that was okay too and he was eternally grateful.  

The more he studied your behavior when you just felt off, the more he gathered the way you would often go blank during a conversation, eyes becoming void of a human and turning into a shell of yourself as you picked yourself apart internally.  Anxiety looming in your eyes and hands the slightest bit shaky, he would touch his fingertips to yours in the smallest touch hoping to lure you back, praying that he didn’t overstep because god he was so scared.  And when you did return, you still weren’t fully there although you claimed you were just tired.  Again.  He just wanted you to be happy.  And you wanted to be happy.  

It took almost a year into the relationship for you to even be able to ask him to come over when you wanted to just be with him.  Before that it just felt like you were pestering him for attention even though that was far from the truth.  You could call him just to complain about how your lunch tasted and he would savor every moment.  Even still, you had your doubts about calling him or texting him, the nasty demons lurking within you telling you he didn’t care.  Eddie picked up on your patterns from the very beginning and learned that the way you worded things really indicated your mood, if you were genuinely doing well or if things were bad again.  A simple phrase popping up on his phone and he would bolt to you if he had the slightest inclination that you were in a pool of your own self deprecating thoughts.  

Are you home?  Really meant, I need you, I need you and I’m too afraid to outright say it.

Are you busy?  Either meant that you wanted to go on a gas station run with him or that you wanted to vent about your family.  

Want to come over?  Generally translated to I’m in a good space right now and would love to spend time with you.

I love you.  Told him I’m thinking about you.

Love you.  Was an indicator that you were on edge, it could be because of him depending on the nature of the situation or it could just be a bad day. 

Food?  Was the phrase used to tell him I’m hangry and we better be getting Mexican food otherwise you better suggest something that sounds yummier.

I’m fine.  Was as clear as day.  I’m the opposite of fine.

So when it’s ten o’ clock at night and the cicadas are chirping outside his trailer, his fingers dancing along the neck of his guitar to a new riff he recently learned and he sees his phone light up with your name, he eagerly reaches over to pick it up and read.  His eyes scan over three key words.

Are you home?

Immediately he’s setting his guitar on top of his mattress, calling you as he scrambles around his room searching for his car keys, finally locating them underneath his copy of Lord of the Rings he had been rereading earlier, tossing the book aside.  The dial tone rings through his ears a few times, heart beating fast.  On the other end, a meek little hey is heard along with a sniffle that you swore you would hide.  

“Baby, what’s wrong?”  His voice is laced with concern while he makes his way out to the living room to collect his leather jacket.  

“I-I-nothing.  I just—wanted to hear your voice.”  Part of it is a lie.  Everything is wrong and your world is crumbling as you stare out the window lifelessly.  Panic is taking over while you endure thoughts about your past, present, and future.  Why did I say that one thing that one time?  I’m such a bad person.  I should have never been born, that way I could save everyone the embarrassment.  You’re instigating yourself and there’s no sign of stopping.  Eddie would be happier without you, he’s too good for you, good things don’t happen to you without a price.  Bullet after bullet hits your soul.  

“I’m coming over.”  He tells you without giving you the option to say no, the line going silent as he hangs up.  This only coaxes more humiliating things out from the depths of your brain.  See what you did?  You ruined his night, now he’s on his way over and he’s probably so mad.  He has so many better things to be doing than sitting with a cry baby.  

The sobs rack your body, chest heaving and vision completely blurred with hot tears traveling down your face.  You’re shaking, the words assaulting you over and over.  Even if you wanted to stop crying you couldn’t, the dam was flooded.  It was an oversight on your part, you didn’t need to text Eddie but you did it out of impulse.  Everything suddenly becomes so overstimulating, so gross and uncomfortable.  The way your clothes hug your body makes you wince, rubbing your arms to somewhat soothe yourself but it only does so much.  The clutter on your bedside table aggravates you all of the sudden but there’s not any energy to straighten it up, leaving you sitting on the bed in full on breakdown mode.  You’re now way too aware of your own body, yearning to immediately cease existing.  A blanket once thrown over your legs is now tossed across the room, the material now disgusting you.  Everything becomes unbearable.

So unbearable that you don’t even hear Eddie using his key in your front door, the hinges squeaking as he enters, or the click of the lock as he locks it again before rushing upstairs, his boots stomping on every other step.  You don’t hear the bedroom door creak open as he carefully approaches, toeing off his boots near the door and then speaking to you.  

“Sweetheart, what’s goin’ on?”  His tone is gentle enough to soothe a baby.  Shrugging his jacket off and tossing it on a nearby chair, he slowly strides closer to the bed but still keeps his distance.  

All you can do is cover your face in your pathetic palms, attempting to hide away the misery you have become.  A wet and whimpered I don’t know is made out from you muffling the words into your hands.  His heart shatters.  All he wants to do is hold you but only if you’ll allow him to.  The last thing he wants to do is make it worse.  The last time he saw you cry was also the first time and you’d sucked it up and brushed it off like it never happened.  This was drastically different, you were a puddle of tears and snot, sobbing uncontrollably and unable to hold back any longer.

“Baby.  Look at me.  Just for a minute, okay?”  He’s trying to convince you but you shake your head, palms still gathering tears.  “Please?  Please?”  He begs, voice hoarse as he tries to map out a gameplan in his head.  It still falls upon deaf ears.  “I need you to look at me.  If I’m going to help you, you need to look at me.”  He leans over the bed attempting to catch your eyes.  “I need you.”  He speaks desperately, his own eyes becoming wet.  For some reason, the phrase makes you stop for a second, makes you freeze.  If he needed you, then you were going to give him anything he wanted, anything he needed.  It was some type of reverse psychology that he hadn’t even realized he performed.  You were falling apart but the moment he begged for help you stopped everything to be by his side.

Shock written in his features, he looks at you while you look at him, big doe eyes full of anxiety and worry.  The atmosphere was stagnant at that moment.  Hiccups erupted out of you but your full undivided attention was on him.  He pondered his next moves carefully, not wanting to scare you off or chase you back into your corner.  His next words were spoken with the utmost care.

“Tell me what you need me to do.”  His voice was shaky and his eyes blinked rapidly.  “I—I’ve never done this before.  Please tell me what you need.”  His voice wobbled on the last few words as you tried to process everything.  “Whatever you want me to do, I will do.”  The way his tone wavered broke you, choking out a sob before stopping yourself.  You did this to him.  So you force yourself to provide an answer, it’s the least you could do.  

Voice cracking, you reply “Hold me.”  The dam continues flooding, sending a river down your cheeks.  He’s quick to crawl across the bed and gather you in his arms like the most fragile thing he’s ever held.  Arms wrap around your middle to pull you in between his legs, pulling your back flush against his chest as you then maneuver your body to curl into him like he’s your bunker, face buried in his chest and trembling hands fisting his shirt.  

“I’m right here, I’ve got you.  I’m here.”  Whispered reassurances against the top of your head as you soak his shirt in a mixture of tears and snot.  He lets you cry for as long as you need, as long as you want.  

“I’m always here for you.  Okay?  I would do anything for you.”  He promises, stroking your back soothingly, placing a kiss to your temple.  Everything about you is so ugly in the moment and yet, he’s so patient and warm.  So attentive and loving.  His gestures begin to chip at the walls you built around yourself so long ago.  It would take time but he’s made the first cracks in those sturdy walls and he would spend forever helping you tear them down.  

The sobs and hiccups begin to settle down, not completely but enough that you have some composure.  Your wide eyes stare into his kind ones.  You’re forced to recognize the unconditional love swimming in his eyes.  The genuine concern for your well being and his necessity for your comfort and happiness.  

“I love you.”  An offer through your tears of that same love on a silver platter that he would gladly indulge in.  Hand brushing against the bottom of your chin, tilting it ever so slightly while the other rests on the small of your back, he delivers a nudge of his nose against yours, a piece of his heart.  

“I love you.  I will always love you.”  His words have a greater meaning, an oath that even through the bad times, the times where you were isolated and hated yourself, kicking yourself to the curb,  he would be right there to help you back up.  A brush of his thumb against a rogue tear on your cheek has you hanging onto his every action.  The way he continues to use his thumbs to clean up any remnants  of sadness that had been acquired over the last hour or so.  How his lips curl up in fondness when you brush your fingertips along his stubbly cheek.  A whispered thank you against his skin.  When he lays back and pulls you onto his chest, his breathing lulling you into a post cry sleep that you very well needed, one hand running up and down your back and the other tracing shapes into your arm—calloused fingers providing every bit of comfort needed.  How his lips press a kiss to your forehead.  The scary thoughts were at bay for now and Eddie would without a doubt help you to battle them the next time they invaded your mind, whether it be tomorrow or next week.  His words have you melting, insides gooey and sticky when he thinks you’re fast asleep but you’re really still clinging onto these last waking moments as you mold into each other.   

“You’re everything I could ever ask for.  I would do anything for you.”

~end~

Masterlist

[atlas-of-a-human-soul]

Hi! Could you do part 5 of A little danger? Thanks!

A little danger, part 5 (Sky of Eraklyon x mind!fairy reader)

A little danger // part two // part three // part four

Summary: After their conversation ends, Y/N decides her heart is too fragile to be shared, but Sky doesn't share her sentiment and neither do the girls.

Warnings: angst, swearing

“You should go”, Saul hands Y/N a bottle of water and she nods.

“Where to? Alfea? It’s not exactly a homey environment for me.”

Sighing, Saul sits beside her, his eyes on the floor. “How bad is it?”

Snorting, she shakes her head. “That depends on who you are, I suppose.”

“How bad is it for you”, Saul glances at her and her fake smile dissipates.

Swallowing thickly, she pulls the sleeves of her sweater over her hands and folds her arms over her chest. “My powers are out of control and everyone’s terrified of me.”

“Your friends didn’t seem so terrified”, Saul tries, but she’s quick to shut him down.

“They’re not my friends.”

“Sky’s not terrified”, Saul tries and she chuckles dryly.

“Apparently he’s only good at pretending not to be terrified.”

Furrowing his eyebrows, Saul considers placing a comforting hand on her hand but seeing her hands tucked under her armpits, he realizes she’s avoiding contact.

“Are you afraid?”

Frowning, she looks at him. “What?”

“Are you afraid of yourself?”

Averting her gaze, she chews on her bottom lip mercilessly. It’s always been her nervous tell, something she did even as a child. Saul never quite understood why her mother took her away after a single mistake, something she didn’t even mean to do. In Saul’s eyes, she didn’t deserve to be torn away from all she’s known, from him…from Sky.

“You shouldn’t be scared”, Saul leans back, his eyes never leaving her. “Nature intended a powerful gift for you because you are capable of wielding it. Farah always said it’s all about intent; if you wish do to good, your power will be good. If you wish to harm you will harm.”

Catching her unguarded gaze, Saul offers a small smile. “Fear is a catalyst, Y/N. If you fear and dread your power, it will go unchecked. It will have free reign and destroy everything it touches because it feels rejected by its master, but if you accept it, embrace it – you’ll find you have more control than you believe.”

Sniffling, her chin trembles as she tries to speak. She pauses, closing her eyes just for a second to compose herself before relaxing her jaw.

“It’s not that easy.”

“Yet you’ve done it”, Saul reminds her. “You saved me.”

“We got lucky”, she whispers, afraid her voice would break.

“Did we?” Saul raises his eyebrows. “Or did your heart embrace the chaos because you knew without your help I’d be captured. Or worse.”

Shuddering with the thought, she turns away from Saul. The wound of her mother’s death still hasn’t healed, if anything, it’s infected, rotting inside her. Losing Saul would be like picking at the puss and dead tissue, deepening the damage.

“I try so hard”, she tucks her hair behind her ears. “Every day, I try so hard to find a way to love it… and myself. And for a moment I truly thought I did. Sky was helping me do exactly that, but…even he’s proved himself to be”, she inhales sharply. “He thinks of me as someone who’d cause him pain.” Shrugging, she sniffles. “I love him more than I love oxygen, but knowing he sees that in me is heartbreaking.”

“Don’t you think that Sky being with you through it all proves his love is true?”

Scoffing, Y/N stands abruptly. “Or he’s just doing what the girls want and is keeping an eye on the unpredictable one.” Pinching the bridge of her nose, she lets out a heavy sigh. “He’s made me believe he loves me, but how can he love me if he believes I’d do anything to hurt him? How is that love?”

“Y/N”, Saul stands too, “don’t be so quick to judge your entire relationship based on a few words exchanged over the phone.”

“How do you know that it happened over the phone”, she narrows her eyes.

“Because I saw the change in you the moment you were done talking to him. Whatever he said, I’m sure it wasn’t what he meant. Have faith in him and allow him a chance to explain.”

Shaking her head, she clears her throat. “That’s the thing. I don’t want his explanations, I don’t want his doubts and I don’t want him or anyone else messing with my mind. It’s already a mess in here, I refuse to allow anyone to add to the chaos.”

“It’s a mistake”, Saul warns but she waves him off.

“You’re right. I should probably go back to the dorms before they notice me missing. After all, I did commit a crime today.” Forcing a tight lipped smile, she gives Saul a quick, halfhearted hug before leaving him standing, his heart heavy and mind full of worries for her future.

The next day, Y/N was diligently avoiding contact with the girls in class. Musa tried to get into her mind more than once, but she didn’t even break a sweat fending off her tries. Bloom tried to corner her in the bathroom, so Y/N flooded it. Stella didn’t seem as patient as them, grabbing her in the dorms with such a force Y/N thought it might have been a specialist that pushed her against a wall.

“We need you”, Stella says before Y/N has the chance to antagonize her.

Rolling her eyes, she narrows them in response. “Whatever it is, I’m sure you can figure it out on your own. After all, you’ve got several other fairies to ask for help.”

“Bloom found a book”, Stella ignores her. “It’s some old book we believe belongs to the blood witches and Sebastian is willing to help us translate it so we can figure out why the fuck are fairies going missing.”

“Hold up”, Y/N pushes Stella off her, straightening the fabric of her skirt. “Missing? I know there was one, but how many are we talking about?”

“Three.”

“THREE?!”

Covering her mouth, Stella pushes her back against the wall. “One came back, but he's comatose.”

Nodding, she pulls Stella’s hand away. “If you messed up my lipstick, I will throw you into a wall with a lot more force than this.”

“Y/N, this is serious.”

“So am I.”

“Rosalind is up to something”, Stella whispers. “We could all be in danger.”

“Why don’t you take it up with your bestie who released her”, Y/N kinks her eyebrows. “After all, she’s the reason Saul is in hiding, Dowling abandoned us and now we have an evil mastermind turning this place into a dark arts school where plotting wicked deeds is the only way to success.”

“Saul asked for you specifically to help with this.”

Averting her gaze, Y/N groans. “What exactly is it that you want from me?”

“To go to Saul’s house and bring us back a book that will help us make sense of it all.”

The house Y/N spent so much of her childhood playing at…with Sky. With the very guy she’s dodged three times today. She had to leave her dorm through a window because he was camped out in front of her door, so how can she go to his house now if he’s not there.

“There’s a bookcase in the sitting room”, Stella continues. “He said you’ll know what he means.”

“Yeah, but it’s been so long since I’ve been there. How the fuck am I supposed to find it now?”

Stella’s lips spread into a grin as she turns to her left, looking in the distance. Following her gaze, Y/N frowns as she finds Sky sitting on a bench at the far end of the courtyard, sending them a small, innocent wave.

“Absolutely not”, Y/N exclaims as she begins moving in the opposite direction, Stella rushing after her.

“Sky said you’d be resistant, but this is really important.”

Turning on her heel, she makes Stella gasp as they nearly collide.

“Oh, why of course! I’ll go on a quick trip to the house that carries many haunting memories with a guy I want nothing to do with just because this is really important to the heir of Solaria.”

“You’re mocking me”, Stella grimaces. “I’ve always been kind to you. Why do you hate me so much?”

Sighing, Y/N looks over Stella’s shoulder as she notices Sky moving toward them.

“I don’t hate you. Or anyone else. It’s safer if you just stay away from me, okay? Apparently I’m dangerous, regardless if it’s something I mean to do or not.”

Taking Y/N’s hand, Stella tugs at it lightly. “Well, in that case, you’ll have to stop being all bark and actually bite. Because I don’t care what other people say, I’m your friend and as your friend I will not let you ignore me for no good reason.”

Despite her resolve, Y/N’s lips twitch almost as if she wanted to smile, but stopped herself in time to maintain her mask.

“I don’t want friends.”

“Tough luck, because it’s not something YOU choose, it’s given by other people and I am a friend.”

Glancing at Sky who paused behind Stella, Y/N purses her lips. “You can’t manipulate me into doing this by being my friend.”

“No, I can’t.” Stella sighs. “I could go, anyone could, but you’re the most powerful of us all and if someone else decides to take the book, you would have an actual shot at protecting it as well as Sky. So I am hoping you choose to do it because you care, not because of any manipulations of me or anyone else.”

Huffing, Y/N turns away from her with her teeth sinking into her bruised bottom lip. It is so much easier being on her own and away from the drama, but she knows Stella is right. She might be mad at Sky and the rest of the world, but she doesn’t want him to get hurt nor does she want the world to burn.

Nodding, she turns to Sky. “When can we go?”

“Now”, he answers readily. “I can borrow the Harvey’s car and we can slip away.”

“I didn’t think you’d want to be involved in something that could help Saul.” She remarks, dealing her first blow. It landed like a gut punch, she knew by the flash of hurt in his deep blue eyes and still, she wanted to hit him again so he’d feel how it feels when he says hurtful things to her.

“I’m sorry”, he manages to say before Stella intervenes.

“You guys have enough time to talk during the drive, so get going.”

Forcing a smile, Y/N gives her thumbs up before heading toward and past Sky. “Might wanna tell him that too.”

Hearing her hushed “Go” followed by Sky’s footsteps, Y/N felt her throat drying up. It’s going to be hell avoiding the very person she’s meant to go on a covert mission. Last thing she wanted was to talk to him after last night. He said what he said, no amount of apologies can erase the pain those words caused nor the self-doubt it brought back.

He followed her quietly, understanding it’s essential they get on the road quickly. If he spoke to her, it would turn into a debacle before the drive even started and he wasn’t willing to risk it now. After all, he’ll have her for the rest of the day.

“I’ll drive”, he offers and she looks to him, chewing her bottom lip before nodding and silently moving to the passenger’s side. She never liked to drive. Sky joked about it being a hassle to reach the pedals due to her short stature, but in truth, she truly didn’t trust herself behind the wheel. She doesn’t trust herself with much in general.

Sky looks at her, a small smile upon his lips. “Ready?”

Glancing at him, her eyes linger on the smile. “Don’t.”

“What?”

“Don’t act like nothing’s wrong and smile at me like you’re trying to seduce me.”

Furrowing his brows, Sky’s smile widens. “Wasn’t my intention”, he leans in slightly, “is it working?”

Clicking her tongue, she leans away from him. “No. So stop it. Better yet, don’t talk to me.”

“Mhmm”, he smirks, starting the car.

“Making sounds is still communicating”, she remarks.

Chuckling, he looks at her. “You said not to talk, didn’t say anything about communicating in other ways.”

“This isn’t funny”, she snaps and Sky’s smile falls. “The only reason I’m here right now is because Saul asked me to go, so don't think it changes anything.”

Licking his bottom lip, Sky clears his throat. “Understood.”

But he didn’t and they both knew it. It won’t be the first nor last argument they’ll have today and for Sky that was a positive thought. As long as they argue, there is hope. Y/N is the type to love deeply, she doesn’t just get over things and move on with her life. If she’s willing to fight with him, it means she cares for him and that gives him hope it’s not too late to repair their relationship. Going to where it all started should facilitate the process.

Or so he thought.

A/n - I know this one took so frickin' long and truth be told I wasn't sure if I wanted to continue it. This entire year has been one of the worst years of my life and I wasn't in the right headspace at all, so I'm hoping this part isn't too bad. Also, might need to make a masterlist considering there's 5 parts now and there will be more. I have like three asks regarding this series, so rest assured I'll write more. It's an ask based series, so I tend to write new parts with every ask I receive as long as there's a point to the story I'm trying to tell. All in all, prepare for more angst coming in the future parts of this series and know I truly appreciate every ask, comment and reblog you left during this hiatus.

PART 6

[luxora]

Blackpink -> {Goddess AU} -> You pass away

Requested: No

Group: Blackpink

Genre: Angst.

Warning: Mention of poisoning. Some violence. Death. Possibly triggering. Some sad stuff ahead. Blood.

Jisoo

Loss was something which astounded Jisoo, since it was not something she was used to herself since she did her best not to interact with those of the mortal world that always perished away as easily as paper when set alight. She has always had a disdain towards mortals because no matter the circumstances, they always had the innate ability to destroy everything that they could get their hands on. The rising of civilizations meant the destruction of nature, the environment being destroyed to sate the greed of those who decided it was their right to operate the land due to finding it ‘first’ despite it never being lost in the first place.

Jisoo never felt loss whenever kingdoms rose and fell. She never shed a tear when great generals and warriors fell to their knees in the middle of the battlefield, their enemies piercing their vulnerable spots to end their miserably tyranny. And she most certainly never showed any concern towards lovers that lost one another to either death or heartbreak. Mortals were so flimsy and reckless when it came to love, she honestly had no idea what compelled mortals to seek for the companionship of others when they never how terrible they were.

Chaeyoung called her a cynic, but Jisoo called herself a realist. Since the dawn of time, Jisoo has been a witness to families breaking apart and kingdoms becoming graveyard ruins because love, something which she always pointed out to Chaeyoung, much to her chagrin, but Jisoo did not care. She had no desire to fall into the domain of her sister, she was not going to ever be compelled to a stupid, mortal thing such as falling in love.

And yet it happened, with a mortal nonetheless.

It was a great honor bestowed on you, being Jisoo’s first love. No god or goddess ever managed to catch her eye and with her known disdain towards humans, it came as a great shock when it was discovered that Jisoo fell in love with a human mortal. Chaeyoung was of course overjoyed, but Jisoo had no desire to delve in any details regarding her relationship with you. It was her business, and she had no reason to share.

It was the forest which brought you to her, saving you from death, and the two of you had been happy ever since, you being the sole reason why Jisoo visited the mortal realm more often than ever. But it was during Winter solstice when she could not return to you as soon as she wanted to was when the forest decided to take you away from her, and it was too late for her to save you when she eventually returned.

Jisoo always hated the Summer and Winter solstice meetings because it was when she was forced to deal with all of her siblings, cousins, parents, aunts, and uncles all at the same time, hearing their endless bickering that would capable of even driving the most sane celestial being mad. She thought an entire eternity had gone past by the time the solstice meeting was finished, and she immediately transported herself back to the mortal realm to reunite with you, only to find that you were no longer in that realm anymore.

She had found you on the forest floor, eyes hooded over, barely peeking under your eyelids, with you flat on your back with your left hand covering your heart. She had called you name, thinking that at first you were asleep, but when you did not answer each time she call you name, she grew concerned. She knelt beside you and touched your arm, only to flinch back when she felt how cold you were to the touch. She looked closely at your face and then realized how pale you were, noticing that your lips were a light blue, matching the color of your finger tips as you remained motionless beside her.

“Y/N...” She breathed, a sense of dread filling her chest as she moved her hand to hover just above your mouth, waiting to feel a small breath of air for a proof of life.

She felt nothing.

“Y/N...” She repeated your name again, a pressure pricking behind her eyes as she shakily moved her hand to the side over your neck, moving her two fingers to your pulse point to feel your heartbeat.

...

She felt nothing.

A sudden cold pass overwhelmed her body, Jisoo’s heart becoming lodged in her throat as she looked over your body, trying to find a reason of explanation for your state of lifelessness while the pressure in her eyes began to increase second by second until she suddenly felt the first tear escape her eyes, only to be following by its twin, and many more. In your other hand, she realized that was something in it, and when she took a closer look, she let out a choked sob when recognized the toxic berries that were literally in the middle of your palm.

The very thing which she had saved you from when the two of you first met is what took you away from her during her absence.

“Y/N...” She whispered your name for the third time, her hands trembling as she gathered you into her arms, adjusting you until your head was leaning into her elbow like a newborn, your head slightly slumping towards her body so that you nose touched her chest. Jisoo felt her bottom lip tremble as she continued to readjust her grip on you, hoping that just maybe, the movement will make you open up your eyes. “Y/N, please...”

Jisoo didn’t even recognize her voice, it was nothing that she has ever heard before. The sound of her voice matched the sensation she felt in her chest, like a cold, fragile void that was only breaking with passing time. She noticed drops fall to your shirt, realizing that they were her tears which were now streaming down her face as she began to sob openly, the forest being the only witness to the Goddess of Hunt mourning the death of her first love.

Jennie

Logic was the very essence of Jennie, that if one was to research the meaning of the word, they would find a sculpture or painting of Jennie right beside her, as her titles as the Goddess of Wisdom meant that everything that Jennie sought out to do was motivated by logic.

Hence it is the reason why logic was the causing of the falling out between you and Jennie.

Jennie had to do it, she had to end things between the two of you. It was not fair for her to take advantage of your endless devotion to her for a limited romance which would end once you passed on to the next world. She had no right to deprive you of all the promises of life had for you, such as having a family and flourishing in civilization. She had no right to ask you to spend the rest of your mortal life with her, an immortal being that would never die.

She pushed you away for your own good. You deserved to live a life away from her influence. You were filled with so much promise and devotion, there was someone else other than her who deserved to be the center of your world, even though it meant replacing her in your life.

It was not easy. Not at all. No pain that Jennie has ever experienced in her eternity as a goddess could compare to the pain that she felt when she watched you fall in love with someone else, to have a family of your own which was filled with laughter and happy memories, and to watch you age day by day, your youthful features slowly diminished as the natural life process took its time with you with its journey.

While Jennie knows she did the selfless decision, the most logical decision, she could not lie and say she never thought of interrupting your life journey with her presence once more. When she had ended the relationship, you had left her temple, never to return again. While it was most logical reason would be that you left to avoid seeing her during her temple visits, it would not be farfetched for your to leave the temple in order to follow out her orders, to live out your mortal life just as Jennie wanted you to. And Jennie was conflicted on how she should feel about it.

Chaeyoung called her a masochist, putting herself through her own, personal torture by surveying your movements everyday with passing time. She told Jennie that she was just killing herself from the inside out from watching what she wanted and could have, and yet was depriving herself. It was the most logical thing that she could have done. You weren’t a demigod that participated in battles and wars, you weren’t a renowned hero that deserved the godly recognition to bestow you the greatest gift granted by the gods: immortality.

You were only a human mortal. A normal person that gave worship to the gods and live your life as typically as a human did. But Jennie fell in love with you nonetheless; therefore, it was the most painful thing in the world to watch you grow old until you were finally traveled to the next realm, leaving behind you grieving family, and a grieving goddess.

Jennie had watched your final moments, from the eyes of the heavens as you were surrounded by your family, your hand being gently held by your spouse of many decades as you unsteadily took in the faces of your children and grandchildren, all of them flashing you tearful smiles as you took your last few final breaths before finally succumbing to death. The angel of death, her niece, appeared beside your body to snip your lifeline and collect your soul, shooting a mournful look at your family as they all immediately began to cry at your passing before looking up at the sky, practically locking eyes with Jennie as she watched the whole ordeal from her viewing mist in the heavens.

“I’m sorry Aunt Jennie.” She heard her say before she vanished, taking your soul to her father’s realm to allow you to walk the next chapter of your life that consisted of the journey of death.

Jennie could not stand the sight of your family mourning over your body any longer. She swiped her hand through the mist and instead cradled herself as she began to sob, pain wracking all over her body as she felt the loss of your soul from the mortal realm. Jennie didn’t even realize that Chaeyoung had come to visit her at the time, having witnessed the same thing as Jennie, albeit from her own home in the heavens. She hugged Jennie tightly as she sobbed.

“It will be alright Jennie. It will be alright. They are in a place of no pain now.” She soothed, hugging her sister tightly as she sobbed. Jennie clutched at her own chest, her palm pressed against her heart.

“But they have left me behind with all of it.” She heaved, her finger tips clawing at her chest as an overwhelmingly amount of pain took over her body, filled with loss and anxiety. She felt Chaeyoung press a kiss to her forehead.

“That means that your love for them was real.” She whispered, not bothering to say anything else as her words only made Jennie sob harder, as it was the most logical thing that an emotional goddess like Chaeyoung could ever say to her.

Chaeyoung

Chaeyoung has never been one to keep secrets. She was open with everyone and everything, ranging from her emotions and her relationships with others, and it was hardly news for people to discover that Chaeyoung was romantically involved with mortals. It is so easy for a god and goddess to get bored with one another, especially since most do not change their personalities in the first few centuries when they are growing up, as since they all are the most powerful beings in the entire world, there is not much discipline that one could make on a god or goddess, making them grow up entitled and spoilt.

Chaeyoung is not much different, especially since she was one of the most favored children; therefore, when it came to her lovers, she was rather publicly amorous with all of them. While she has had many in the past, she did enjoy spending time with you the most, especially since you always seemed to make her forget all her troubles that are forced upon her due to her entity of being the Goddess of Love, as well as all the duties that she is expected to carry out.

Love was everywhere in the world; therefore, Chaeyoung was everywhere in everyone’s lives. She was a very busy women and it was only the most wonderful thing to get lost in the arms and life of someone who cherished her like she deserved. And one never had to worry about her becoming one’s lover, she was always thorough in all of her efforts; therefore, one never had to worry about being unsated after one night with her.

You becoming her new favorite lover did not go unnoticed. In fact, it caused many to become scorned because being the apple of the Goddess of Love’s eye meant endless blessing and memories promised with love and pleasure. It was always an honour to become a god or goddess’s lover, and becoming Chaeyoung’s lover was the ultimate honour one could have because who could ever deny the entity which represented love and beauty.

Jealousy was an aspect that has always been attached to love and Chaeyoung would be considered an expert in it, since she is the cause of it, as well as the object of representation. When there was love, there was jealousy, and it was important to understand the balance unless one wants to fall to the cruelty caused by either emotion. Chaeyoung has been influenced by emotions that had resulted in terrible tragedies; therefore, she understood the dangers of it and how easy it was to become influenced.

But she thought that you would not be hardened, especially since you were her favorite. People should know better than to harm what is hers, she may be one of the more generous of goddesses, but even she can bring multiple forms of mass destruction to the earth if she so desired, so it would be incredibly stupid to harm her lover. It was practically a begging for a painful death.

And it was what she promised when she had appeared in your room, only to find your bloody body with multiple stab wounds in it.

It was already too late for her to save you, your soul having already exited this realm as she cradled your body to her and pressed her hands desperately to your wounds to stop the bleeding, but it was of no use. You were no longer among the world of the living, only among the world of afterlife along with the other passed away souls. Chaeyoung tasted the salt from her tears as she pressed a final kiss to your cold lips, the warmth that they previously contained evaporated into the thin air, the same as your life.

“I...am so sorry...my love.” She whispered against your lips, tears falling to on your pale skin as she pressed a kiss to your cheek, brow, and forehead before standing up with your body in her arms, her entire figuring glowing as she prepared to take her to her home.

You did not deserve a grave like this, like a forgotten pig carcass for the vultures to scavenge. She will make sure that you are given the proper burial, one which will highlight the brightness which you had brought to her own life and to others. She took one final look around your room, at the four walls which were the witnesses to your shared love with Chaeyoung. Her eyes darkened when she took one final look at your bloodied bed sheets.

“Whoever did this...are dead.” She growled, before finally transporting to her home, you body in her arms with a deep seed of hatred and anger planted in her chest and growing with every passing second. She was going to find your killers, and make sure they suffer the worth death possible, and make sure that their souls are sent to hell.

Lisa

Death was a part of war. There has never been a battle in history that didn’t shed the blood of people, be it either from the enemy or from one’s own side. People always died in wars, and Lisa was very familiar with the death of allies, enemies, and loved ones.

And yet it is still a shock to her that you were taken away from the world of the living.

You were a warrior, someone who would not back down for a fight and always stood up for your beliefs. You were beyond reckless, that was a no brainer, but she was attracted to you nonetheless. She fell in love with your spirit, which your desire to win, and you relentless pursuit in action, adventure, and victory.

But with your wild nature, Lisa has often been forced to deal with the results of your recklessness. She has had to bandage your wounds, heal your minor injuries, and of course, save you when it was required. But even though she was a goddess, a being superior to all living things, she could not always be there when she was needed, even if it was for you, one of her only exceptions.

Lisa had always told you that one day your recklessness was going to bite you in the ass, but as always, you brushed off her words with a smile and a kiss to her lips, playfully sending her a wink  before telling her to stop being so serious.

“There is no way I will ever die Lisa. I know you’ll be there to cover my back while I cover my front.”

The stone in her throat barely went down when she swallowed, the words you said to her haunting her like an apparition while she kept a tight grip on your cool hand, your strength slowly diminishing as your breathing became more unsteady. She leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the back of your hand before pressing it to her forehead, letting out a shaky breath before glancing at your pale face, your lips stained with dry blood while you barely kept your eyes open.

“I told you that you’ll get yourself into trouble someday.” She said, her voice completely empty with emotion as she stared at you. You flashed her a weak smile, the effort looking more painful than genuine.

“Sorry...love...just can’t...deny the...excite...ment...” A vicious cough broke out of your throat, immediately alert Lisa as she watched in baited breath during your coughing fit. She swallowed thickly when she saw more blood splatter onto your shirt, your voice wheezing as you slumped back into the bed, looking even more tired than before. You let out a light cough before turning to look at Lisa again, your eyes startling her because unlike the fiery orbs she is used to seeing, she was instead looking into the eyes of a tired, hollow warrior.

“I’m...sorry...” You whispered, your voice so broken that Lisa couldn’t help but let out another shaky breath, a lot shakier than her last one, before pressing a kiss to the back of your hand again.

“Don’t be. Everything will be okay.” She said, swallowing thickly and trying her best to stay strong for you in your final moments.

“Will...it...hurt?” You asked, not giving any detail about what you were asking, but Lisa immediately knew what you meant. The pressure behind her eyes increased tenth-fold and she closed them tightly together, swallowing thickly once again before opening them, squeezing your hand tightly. That was a question you were never supposed to ask her, not ever. But she rubbed the back of your hand, hoping it gave you the comfort you needed from her.

“Quicker than falling asleep.” She said, flashing you a sad smile before reaching out to cup your cheek, stroking it with a thumb, her heart breaking at seeing you gently lean into her touch, soaking it up since it would not be long until you...go on.

“Will...you be okay?” You asked, your eyes beginning to droop, immediately catching Lisa’s attention and making her realize that it was nearly time. But the problem with your question...just what could she say to you to give you comfort. But clearly her indecision was clear on her face, before you gave her a weak squeeze to catch her attention.

“Don’t...lie...please...” Your voice was losing its strength, and the realization that it was nearly time for you to go made the pressure behind her eyes break, as a tear escaped and ran down her cheek as she stared at you, her bottom lip trembling.

“I’m going to miss you. A lot. I still can’t believe this is happening.” She confessed, a light sob escaping her lips, unable to hide it anymore. You were going to leave her, pass on, and there was nothing that Lisa could do about it. Gods and goddesses could do many things, but they could not save a human when they are beyond saving. Even goddesses have limits when they are not operating in their domain. Lisa’s domain is war, not medicine, and there was no chance for her to save you.

And it killed her.

“Lisa...I...” Your voice began to dwindle and your eyes were beginning to close, and Lisa couldn’t do anything but watch you in your final moments saying your final words. “.........I........love...”

The last word never left your lips. Lisa just let out a sob when your eyes fell shut for the last time, your breathing coming to a halt and leaving behind a heartbroken Goddess of War who was swiftly joined by her niece, the Angel of Death.

[archiveikemen]

Ibuki Main Story: Preview

Part 1

This is a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes with no guaranteed perfection; expect mistakes, grammatical errors, and some creative liberties. All original content and media used belongs to Cybird. Please support the game by buying their stories and playing their games. Reblogs appreciated.

Read this before interacting┊aikm’s Genjiden Glossary

Ibuki: Just like birds flying in the sky and carnivorous beasts eating meat, is it not natural for a demon to toy with humans?

A pretty-faced demon who finds joy in treating humans like his playthings — Shuten Dōji, Ibuki.

Not knowing who he really was, I became a player in a risky game…

…

Ibuki: Just imagine it.

Ibuki: You’re going to feel shame and pleasure simultaneously, and it's going to mess with your head so much.

— The price to pay for defeat was to be degraded so sweetly.

However…

Yuno: If I want to refuse to let you influence me… perhaps… I need to get to know you better.

Ibuki: …

Did my decision awaken his sadistic desires…?

Ibuki: — You’re such an ordinary woman, yet so special at the same time.

Ibuki: I’m going to take away your will to resist against me, like ripping the wings off a beautiful butterfly. I will toy with you until your heart breaks beyond repair.

Ibuki: And when that happens, I will feel so satisfied.

…

Due to certain circumstances, I was forced to stay in Kyōto, and that gave me the chance to look right into… a demon’s heart. A heart no one else could understand.

… And the twisted bonds formed in the darkness of the Imperial Court.

…

Ibuki: It’d be dreadful if the human I’ve been sticking with to kill boredom were to die on me. I hate it when my favorite toys break.

Ibuki: … There’s nothing more to it than that.

Yuno: What…

…

Ibuki: Since when did I start giving a damn about Yasuchika and Akihito…?

Yuno: … Ibuki.

— An evil force had attacked Kyōto. It put the relationship between Ibuki, Yasuchika-san, and Akihito-sama to the test.

Ibuki: It's impossible to describe this feeling in words. Whatever doesn’t have a name to it, is non-existent.

Ibuki: It's a load of bullshit. Just forget it.

Yuno: — I won’t do that.

Ibuki: …

Yuno: Even if you were to completely wipe it out from your memory, I will never forget.

(I know I’ve touched his heart.)

(Ibuki’s budding feelings of love are twisted beyond saving.)

(So why do I feel like it’s beautiful and special?)

While we were huddled together on a torturously suffocating night, something sprouted between Ibuki and I…

Ibuki: I don’t get why it is so difficult for me to express my feelings about you right now.

Ibuki: I’ve always been an amazingly smooth talker who knows all sorts of words that will seduce human beings.

…

— But disaster was already knocking on our door.

Before the evil force could spread to all of Japan, Ibuki made a decision…

Ibuki: It’s not the norm for demons to protect humans.

Ibuki: I’m looking forward to seeing how this out of the ordinary story will turn out… will it be a comedy? Or will it be a tragedy?

Ibuki: — Then it's decided. Time to work your magic, Prodigious Onmyōji.

Yasuchika: … Tch.

Yasuchika: … Close your eyes. Shuten Dōji.

…

— I wanted to protect him, and stop him from abandoning everything with a laugh.

Even if… I had to sacrifice everything I had.

Ibuki: Does it hurt? Hah, I’m not convinced by those sweet cries coming from you.

Yuno: S-Stop… this is weird…

Ibuki: That’s right. You don’t like it when your body and mind are being toyed with and destroyed, do you?

Ibuki: With this kind of memories, your life will never be the same again.

Yuno: Ah…

(I like it.)

(I like it a lot.)

(So much that I fear I’m about to be destroyed.)

Ibuki: Just say it if you hate it. You’ll feel a lot better.

(I want… more…)

Yuno: … I hate it.

Ibuki: …

(Ah…)

Ibuki: I see.

…

A broken “romance” that seemed to be getting nowhere , spiraled into nothingness…

Ibuki: She’s too precious to be a demon’s plaything.

Akihito: … You sounded like a human being when you said you're leaving her for her sake.

Ibuki: Wrong. I’ve left a permanent scar on her.

Ibuki: No matter how happy she will be in the future, that mark on her back will forever remain and remind her of me.

Ibuki: That fact alone is enough to satisfy me. Even if my demonic instincts were to completely destroy my moral compass.

…

This is an extreme love story that will show whether the power of love can beat those instincts.

Ibuki: You horrible woman. I can never go back to my old self, because I now know the joy in having such pure feelings.

Ibuki: Got it? You’re the one who started this never ending game.

Ibuki: As your punishment for that, you shall receive the love of a demon for the rest of your life.

[loveregrown]

Thank you for the recommendation! Ita 3am and I can't stop reading! I also haven't stopped crying ever since I started. I'm crying now and I mistyped your name in the search bar three times.

I'M SO SORRY KOTOKO. I READ EVERYTHING THAT'S OUT RIGHT NOW ONE MORNING WHILE DISSOCIATED WHEN I FIRST GOT INTO IT AND I CRODE SO MUCH. WHAT AONO-KUN DOES TO A MF (ノ_＜。) Omg. It is so gutwrenching and it touches on the themes it does so well and so realistically and it really hurts even if other times it's so funny it also just makes you ache. It has got me crunk somebody save me there's so much I could say about it. How the worst aspects of Aono-kun's life & his existence after his death become gradually unearthed, being driven to the brink and getting more and more heavily enmeshed with Yuri as his last link to humanity and being and happy even as he gradually destroys her. How consuming love can be and themes of one's self worth in relation to it.... The discussions of abuse and how different characters feel about it. The topic of grief omg. Somebody sedate me. The deep-rooted mother issues of it all. The dread thuis manga makes you feel.. the dread 😂

I knew you would like it, because the creator of csm likes it and has drawn fanart for it... and... well... clearly it made you feel something. Even the romance between them tears me apart. Ah I could cry thinking about it too hard right now. And the horror that is so excellently pulled off? I actually felt unease so many times. The scenes that are intimate yet don't feel voyeuristic, but personal instead... bububu. Random screenshots of them that I like. I like when he is so detached from his true self and is something else entirely. What is his true self anymore, really?

It's so... real. You know? So sickeningly real. How desperate Yuri was that she just sort of jumped into that relationship with Aono-kun and yet they ended up like this. And what has become of him... bah. I miss fujimoto and horie a lot too. They're all so personal to me I hope I die. I love the dialogue so much and I dont mind the parts where they overexplain the ghosts even if I sometimes skip them because sometimes it's interesting to me and also thats just mio being autistic half of the time it's fine. How far in have you gotten? Have you gotten to the part with yuri's sister it does cocomelon shit to me. Also Her reliance on her relationship on aono and this dream yuri has even ifthis doest Actually happen and isnt reflective of their relationship in the real world... that sort of contradicts how aono feels about her... crazy stuff.

When you're done talk to me about it if you want.... sorry for any spoilers in these screenshots they're ones I had on hand they're not really spoilers without any context though. I'm also sorry I didnt give any tws considering its so heavy lol and I forgot to mention it's not a completed manga yet and the path it's going scares me but intrigues me too. The author is a woman by the way; did you know? It makes a lot of sense to me. uuu its so good. every character I like them. I like aonokun. abd I also want to hold him so badly I could die. Please drink water dear Kotoko!

[naefelldaurk]

Good Omens—Some More Fic Recs

some strangeness in the proportion by trailingoff (T, 11458 words) Heaven found a way to punish Aziraphale for his perceived betrayal. Moving, painful, ultimately restorative. If you like your angst with the promise of a happy ending, come on in!

The Book of Prometheus by lyricwritesprose (T, 63241 words) This story was inspired by Atalan's Pray for Us, Icarus series. Here it's Aziraphale who is experiencing serial reincarnations after being destroyed by Gabriel. Poignant and compelling, with lovely characterizations.

These fragments I have shared against my ruins by HolRose (T, 9296 words). This sweet, wrenching story posits that both Aziraphale and Crowley are painfully touch-starved (based on the author's headcanon that angels are deeply social beings and these two have lived their lives separated from their kind). It's what they find in each other that keeps them going for thousands of years.

Summer's End by FeralTuxedo (E, 47342, AU Human) In a world of barter and cautious relationships, Aziraphale is a sex-worker living in a caravan and Crowley a punter (briefly). How they navigate their world and their growing affection for each other is the core of the story, with both unnerving and reaffirming moments, which resolve in unexpected ways. So well written with excellent character development and fascinating world-building.

Tribute by snae_b (E, 43360, AU Human) One of the tags is "A little like if Dune and Mad Max had a baby," which easily grabbed my attention and, really, it's spot on. World-building is A+, characterizations—let me put it like this: these are people you'd want to know, fully-fledged individuals with weaknesses and strengths and everything between. It's also wildly engaging, edge-of-your-seat reading.

Or Be Nice by charlottemadison (E, 151366, AU Human) This story simply should be on every rec list. The writing is superb, the characterizations unique but recognizably Aziraphale and Crowley. There's angst, humor, misunderstandings galore, and eventually love, so much love.

An Arrangement of True Minds by Sodium_Azide (T, 12539, AU Human) This one is different. On the surface it's the story of a modern-day arranged marriage, rife with misunderstandings, complicated family politics, and a love that forms in the face of doubt and dread. More than that it's biting, amusing, and terrifically well written.

[rabbitindisguise]

After a couple hours of self reflecting I realized that the kink group I was trying to be a part of was (through no fault of their own) contributing to my utter insanity over the past couple of months

I think the combination of trying to seek approval and emotional flashbacks just made it impossible to function. On one hand, it pushed me to talk about things I was avoiding talking about, but on the other I was avoiding talking about them because the little goblin that lives in my brain wants to sabotage everything I love by making the worst way to say things the most appealing for no reason.

And it's so easy to be like "I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine" that it's hard to notice that I'm losing out on hard won progress for . . . nothing . . .

I don't have anyone to blame but myself for it. I don't know what's worse about that: I could have prevented it and didn't, or that the worst moment of the past three years is connected to me finally being willing to talk about a minor uncomfortable thing that had been bothering me for awhile. And I can't believe I have to be grateful for even a scrap of self control that could have made the situation much worse- I could have lashed out even more, or completely destroyed any amount of respect or chance to gain respect or any affection for me whatsoever, and it's chilling. I have a migraine appointment a couple hours from now and my main focus is trying to pen myself in to not do anything else stupid, deleting all of the advice I got from generic Relationship advice from the internet and reminding myself to never google anything ever again, and just laying in like, paralyzed fear in bed.

And in some ways it finally slotted something into place that I've been trying to hammer home since forever, that if I have something that upsets me and I get clarification and it makes me feel better that's the whole fucking point. That if I trust someone more than anyone else then they're a good person for me to be around. That if someone makes me happy that is a sign that I'm loved and cared for.

I feel like for good long time I've been acting on the script I was being told that I had to do in order to not be hurt. I didn't know any other way to function. Now it's like . . . Instead of protecting myself, I need to protect the people I care about from me. And no one seems to get this. My therapist, my friends outside of people close to me- they're like "oh! You seem fine! You seem nice!" and I don't know what to do to get them to stop saying that. I wouldn't feel like I needed a reality check on what I want to say if I was a nice person. There is evidence that I am not a nice person that people refuse to accept. It makes me worry that my friends are not nice people (excluding, again, Zach who mostly just goes hmmmmmm in a reassuring way) which is the insanity again !!!! Why is my first impulse to think everyone is mean but me?

I don't know what's wrong with me! I don't know how to prevent this from happening. Every time I think I catch it, there's just a worse unexpected problem. I think I'm never going to be done. I'll always be sitting here trying to do the basic normal human person thing of not feeling the dread that something is wrong around me and I don't know what it is.

Having followers on Tumblr, trying to get approval, trying to be acceptable, respectable, to get access to resources from the government, it all makes me insane. There's some kind of undercurrent to everything that's like, if I talk to a human person in person I'm going to explode in private. And it can be panic attacks where I take it out on myself, or being cruel to people I care about, or so many other things, but there's an equal and opposite reaction to meeting people that causes this. I used to get so stressed visiting Zach (don't anymore, now it's a relief compared to Strangers) that I would spend the month after absolutely out of touch with the material plane of existence.

The unfortunate thing is the best solution I have right now is to lean into self directed panic attacks. It's the most effective way to manage things. If I spend the whole time panicking about that, there's no potential to direct it elsewhere. I'm going to have to start inducing one on purpose to get it out of my system after every scary interaction outside my house. And that's insane! It's insane. I'm tempted to not go out this weekend or ever again, frankly. I'm really scared of myself. I don't know how I could ever confuse someone I care about for something potentially dangerous to me, and I don't know why my brain reacts to people like a pathogen or something. I feel like I'm in one of those movies where someone is in a harmless situation acting like they're getting mauled because they're on a lot of drugs, or someone running through fun house mirrors, or getting sedated and confused about the doctors saying gibberish.

It's frightening that I feel like it would be super easy to get stuck in the insanity spiral again as I'm trying to untangle this. Thankfully, something reassuring is that this might just be the Enormity of a feeling I've successfully beaten back many times (fear of my parents), it was just so big it was hard to vanquish. I empathize a lot more with war veterans, I feel like I sort of get their whole . . . everything about stuff sometimes. For now I just know that home is safe, and everything else is Scary.

I am definitely taking a Lyft tomorrow to avoid going on the bus.

[a-reader-and-a-writer-for-all]

Happy Birthday, Rooster!

Fandom: Top Gun, Top Gun: Maverick, Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw, f!reader

Word Count: 1136

TW: Fluff, Lead Up to Smut, Surprise, Kissing, Sensual Touching

Note: Thank you to @green-socks for reminding me that according to Rooster's military file in the movie, his birthday is June 27. So I got inspired to write this.

Top Gun Masterlist

June 27. Rooster sighed as he drove his Bronco back towards his apartment. He had been dreading this day for weeks. Luckily, no one on base had mentioned anything. Either they didn’t know, or they didn’t care enough to bring it up, but Rooster preferred it that way. It was better to just let his birthday go by unnoticed.

He remembered loving his birthdays when he was a kid. Mav would come over and take him up in one of his planes or take him for a short ride on his motorcycle, then they would go back to Rooster’s house for cake, ice cream, and presents with his mom. And Rooster even had a dim memory of his dad placing his first pair of aviators on his face on his third birthday.

But everything was different now. Both of his parents were dead, and Maverick had destroyed their relationship years ago. Rooster knew there would be a birthday card from him waiting in his mailbox at home, but it would go into the trash unopened just like every other year. And you…..

Rooster knew if you had been here, you would have found a way to make this day somewhat bearable, but you were on the other side of the country waiting for him to finish his current 6-month assignment before being able to come home. God, he missed you. Especially today.

He pulled into his apartment building, trying to remember if he had any leftover pizza from a few nights ago. If not, he would have to scrape something else together. Though, given how little time he had to go to the store after work each day, he would be lucky to find a single beer in his fridge. Yet another reason to love this day, he thought bitterly.

Ignoring his mailbox and the dreaded card within, he took the elevator up to his floor. As the doors glided open, he sighed heavily and headed towards his door. Maybe he would just skip food altogether and go straight to bed. There was no use making this day drag on longer than it had to.

He slid his key into the lock and opened the door. But as he flicked on the light, he jumped as someone screamed, “Surprise! Happy birthday!”

Blinking in surprise, Rooster’s mouth dropped as he took in the sight before him. A large homemade banner reading “Happy B-Day!!!” was hung crookedly on his far wall, surrounded by balloons and streamers. And there standing just below it was you, jumping up and down and clapping your hands in excitement.

“Baby?” He asked in amazement, taking a few stumbling steps forward. “W-what are you doing here? H-How did you even get in here?”

“You keep the spare key in the same place you do at home. I keep telling you it isn’t a smart place to leave it. Anyone can break-in,” you said winking as you closed the distance between you and wrapped him into a tight hug.

Rooster stood frozen in shock for a moment, still unable to believe you were really here. But then, he slowly wrapped his arms around you and squeezed you tightly. You were here, you were really here.

He hadn’t even realized he was crying until a tear dropped off his face onto your arm and you pulled away. Seeing his expression, you cupped his face in your hand as your face twisted in concern. “Bradley? Hey, what’s wrong? Should I not have come? Oh no, I knew this might be a bad idea showing up unannounced like this, but I just wanted to surprise you an-”

Rooster cut you off as his lips pressed firmly into yours. Without hesitation, you kissed him back, your hand sliding up his face to tangle in his curls. With one hand wrapped around your waist, he lifted you up so you could wrap your legs around his hips. Carrying you over to the couch, he settled with you straddling his lap. You rolled your hips once, and he moaned deeply as he broke off the kiss. He had forgotten just how good you could make him feel with just the slightest of touches.

“God, I missed you,” he muttered softly against your lips.

“I missed you too. But you’re sure it’s okay that I came?” you asked breathlessly.

“It was perfect. You’re perfect. You always make everything perfect.” He nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck, sending shivers through you as his mustache tickled your skin. “How long are you here for?”

“Three days. I talked my sister into watching the dogs and I took off from work.”

Rooster’s heart simultaneously soared and sank as he raised his head to look at you. “Baby, I love you for that, but I still have to be on base those days.”

However, you just smiled back. “Oh, I know. But we can still have your nights together. And this way, I can actually have a nice home-cooked meal waiting for you instead of you stopping for fast food every night.” He looked at you curiously. “I saw your trash. Honestly, Bradley, how much McDonald’s and pizza can one person eat?”

He gave you a sheepish little half-grin. “Come on, baby. You know my cooking isn’t anywhere near as good as yours. And besides, I just don’t have the time or energy by the time I get home to make something.”

“I remember. Which is why I’ll leave you some meals in the freezer when I leave. That way anytime you’re missing me, you can eat one and think about how much I love you.”

Rooster ran his hand across your cheek. “I don’t think my freezer will fit enough meals for that. I’d need one for every day until I come home.”

“Well, I’ll see what I can do.” You leaned over and captured his lips once more.

Rooster lowered his hands back to your hips before slowly sliding them lower. As he kneaded your ass firmly with his palms, it was your turn to moan in delight. The sound sent a jolt of pleasure straight through his body and he bucked up into you. He longed to rip off your clothes right then and there, but you deserved better than his grimy old couch. It was time to move this to the bedroom.

He lifted you up once again, but you resisted. “Wait, I picked up cake and ice cream for your birthday.”

Rooster grinned into your hair as he once again wondered how he got so lucky to call you his. Running his lips over the edge of your ear, he muttered, “It can wait. This can’t.” He kissed you again as he carried you to his bedroom. This was going to be one of his best birthdays ever.

Taglist: @valoraxx, @m3laniehearts, @autumnleaves1991-blog, @rule107, @vintageleather, @impossiblebagelcowboyfreak, @sugarcoated-lame, @slutforadambanks, @americaarse, @reneki, @ynbutbetter, @imagineadream, @sadpetalsstuff, @salty-thembo, @rachelizabethgraham, @duckandrobin, @queenbbarnes, @grincheveryday, @uselesslyromantic, @chouricojr, @king-of-milf-lovers, @high-fidelities, @shaded-echoes-recs, @dempy, @nik2blog, @dumb-fawkin-bitch

[a-reader-and-a-writer]

Happy Birthday, Rooster!

Fandom: Top Gun, Top Gun: Maverick, Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw, f!reader

Word Count: 1136

TW: Fluff, Lead Up to Smut, Surprise, Kissing, Sensual Touching

Note: Thank you to @green-socks for reminding me that according to Rooster's military file in the movie, his birthday is June 27. So I got inspired to write this.

Top Gun Masterlist

June 27. Rooster sighed as he drove his Bronco back towards his apartment. He had been dreading this day for weeks. Luckily, no one on base had mentioned anything. Either they didn’t know, or they didn’t care enough to bring it up, but Rooster preferred it that way. It was better to just let his birthday go by unnoticed.

He remembered loving his birthdays when he was a kid. Mav would come over and take him up in one of his planes or take him for a short ride on his motorcycle, then they would go back to Rooster’s house for cake, ice cream, and presents with his mom. And Rooster even had a dim memory of his dad placing his first pair of aviators on his face on his third birthday.

But everything was different now. Both of his parents were dead, and Maverick had destroyed their relationship years ago. Rooster knew there would be a birthday card from him waiting in his mailbox at home, but it would go into the trash unopened just like every other year. And you…..

Rooster knew if you had been here, you would have found a way to make this day somewhat bearable, but you were on the other side of the country waiting for him to finish his current 6-month assignment before being able to come home. God, he missed you. Especially today.

He pulled into his apartment building, trying to remember if he had any leftover pizza from a few nights ago. If not, he would have to scrape something else together. Though, given how little time he had to go to the store after work each day, he would be lucky to find a single beer in his fridge. Yet another reason to love this day, he thought bitterly.

Ignoring his mailbox and the dreaded card within, he took the elevator up to his floor. As the doors glided open, he sighed heavily and headed towards his door. Maybe he would just skip food altogether and go straight to bed. There was no use making this day drag on longer than it had to.

He slid his key into the lock and opened the door. But as he flicked on the light, he jumped as someone screamed, “Surprise! Happy birthday!”

Blinking in surprise, Rooster’s mouth dropped as he took in the sight before him. A large homemade banner reading “Happy B-Day!!!” was hung crookedly on his far wall, surrounded by balloons and streamers. And there standing just below it was you, jumping up and down and clapping your hands in excitement.

“Baby?” He asked in amazement, taking a few stumbling steps forward. “W-what are you doing here? H-How did you even get in here?”

“You keep the spare key in the same place you do at home. I keep telling you it isn’t a smart place to leave it. Anyone can break-in,” you said winking as you closed the distance between you and wrapped him into a tight hug.

Rooster stood frozen in shock for a moment, still unable to believe you were really here. But then, he slowly wrapped his arms around you and squeezed you tightly. You were here, you were really here.

He hadn’t even realized he was crying until a tear dropped off his face onto your arm and you pulled away. Seeing his expression, you cupped his face in your hand as your face twisted in concern. “Bradley? Hey, what’s wrong? Should I not have come? Oh no, I knew this might be a bad idea showing up unannounced like this, but I just wanted to surprise you an-”

Rooster cut you off as his lips pressed firmly into yours. Without hesitation, you kissed him back, your hand sliding up his face to tangle in his curls. With one hand wrapped around your waist, he lifted you up so you could wrap your legs around his hips. Carrying you over to the couch, he settled with you straddling his lap. You rolled your hips once, and he moaned deeply as he broke off the kiss. He had forgotten just how good you could make him feel with just the slightest of touches.

“God, I missed you,” he muttered softly against your lips.

“I missed you too. But you’re sure it’s okay that I came?” you asked breathlessly.

“It was perfect. You’re perfect. You always make everything perfect.” He nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck, sending shivers through you as his mustache tickled your skin. “How long are you here for?”

“Three days. I talked my sister into watching the dogs and I took off from work.”

Rooster’s heart simultaneously soared and sank as he raised his head to look at you. “Baby, I love you for that, but I still have to be on base those days.”

However, you just smiled back. “Oh, I know. But we can still have your nights together. And this way, I can actually have a nice home-cooked meal waiting for you instead of you stopping for fast food every night.” He looked at you curiously. “I saw your trash. Honestly, Bradley, how much McDonald’s and pizza can one person eat?”

He gave you a sheepish little half-grin. “Come on, baby. You know my cooking isn’t anywhere near as good as yours. And besides, I just don’t have the time or energy by the time I get home to make something.”

“I remember. Which is why I’ll leave you some meals in the freezer when I leave. That way anytime you’re missing me, you can eat one and think about how much I love you.”

Rooster ran his hand across your cheek. “I don’t think my freezer will fit enough meals for that. I’d need one for every day until I come home.”

“Well, I’ll see what I can do.” You leaned over and captured his lips once more.

Rooster lowered his hands back to your hips before slowly sliding them lower. As he kneaded your ass firmly with his palms, it was your turn to moan in delight. The sound sent a jolt of pleasure straight through his body and he bucked up into you. He longed to rip off your clothes right then and there, but you deserved better than his grimy old couch. It was time to move this to the bedroom.

He lifted you up once again, but you resisted. “Wait, I picked up cake and ice cream for your birthday.”

Rooster grinned into your hair as he once again wondered how he got so lucky to call you his. Running his lips over the edge of your ear, he muttered, “It can wait. This can’t.” He kissed you again as he carried you to his bedroom. This was going to be one of his best birthdays ever.

Taglist: @loverhymeswith, @babblydrabbly, @lorecraft, @green-socks, @mayhem24-7forever, @skvatnavle, @clints-lucky-arrow, @edwardbaldwin, @lacontroller1991, @the-untamed-soul, @inglourious-imagines, @airhogger, @straightforwardly, @bonnieelizabethparker, @srry-itshockeyszn, @flyinlove, @fandomhopped, @sweetheartlizzie07, @yjwnoot, @wanderdreamer, @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy, @fangirlinc, @sparrows-corner, @mads-weasley, @trencher4lyfe

[mysticalrambling]

Ending It All Part 1 (C.E)

Part 2

Chris Evans Fan fiction (Fan fiction Masterlist)

Summary: Chris wants to end your marriage and you decide to go along with it. You have to be civil for the sake of the kids but you are hurt. This process is too much for the both of you and eventually, it all ends.

Warnings: Angst all the way. 

._._._._._.

You had seen it coming from a mile. People say that a woman’s sixth sense is her greatest power. You always took pride in it but in this case, it was a curse. Chris and you have known each other for the past seven years and from those years, you were married for five. He was the love of your life. You thought it was forever but apparently you were wrong. You were wrong about so many things.

From the past six months, Chris has been home for a couple of days at most and then he was traveling. Traveling for work, for friends and whatnot. And for the days that he was here, he didn’t look at you like you were his wife, his soulmate. He looked at you like you were a stranger. Spending time with the kids was all he ever did and then came up with measly explanations to go off to bed early. There was no space left for you in his life. You thought that it was just a rough patch but that was not the case.

“(Y/N), we need to talk.” The determined look in his icy blue eyes said it all.

Taking a deep breath, you shakily replied, “Let me just put the kids to sleep.” Your energetic kids had tired out you for the whole day because you were off from work today. Chris had just come back from shooting and he didn’t give you a kiss like he usually did. In fact, he hadn’t kissed you like he meant it for several years now.

“I will be in the kitchen. You want wine?” He was walking away before you could even reply.

“Yeah, sure.” You mumbled out and you didn’t even know that he listened.

“Mommy, we are going to spend the whole day with you and daddy tomorrow?”  Mia and Jace have started to pick up on the fact that there was something going on between their parents. You wanted to keep all of this away from your four and two year old but it seems that you might have failed. You were failing at a lot of things right now.

“Yes, we will. Now, go to sleep.” It took you about half an hour to be put them to sleep and during that time, you were a wreck. There were a thousand possibilities running through your mind.

Coming back downstairs, Chris handed you the glass of wine, your favorite as always. He knew every little detail about you. “(Y/N), I don’t know how to say this but-”

“Before you finish that sentence, I just need to tell you that I promised the kids a day out tomorrow. Don’t ruin it.”

“I- I can’t say that.” Fiddling with his almost empty glass, he couldn’t bring it in himself to look at you. He was going to ruin this promise as well just like he was going to ruin everything.

“Just, go on.” You refilled the wine glass as you knew you needed the alcoholic haze to get through this conversation.

“I can’t do this anymore. This is just not what I want in my life anymore.” Your breath hitched and your heart broke into tiny little pieces.

Exact words were what you needed to hear right now. No vague statements. “What do you mean? What can’t you do?”

“This. This relationship. I think I am done. I am truly sorry, (Y/N).”

“Is- Is there someone else?” It was as if a ball was lodged in your throat and you couldn’t bring yourself to talk coherently. Fluently.

Chris looked at you, horrified. How could you even say that? He would never in a million years even think about cheating on you. Dignity was an important trait for Chris and if he ever cheated, he wouldn’t be able to look at himself. It hurt him that you would even consider this as a reason but he couldn’t blame you.

“No! This is not the reason. Not at all.” A defensive attitude was immediately taken up by your husband.

“Then is it me? Am I not enough for you?” Hot tears rolled down your cheeks but you didn’t have the energy to wipe them out.

“It is not you, darling. I just don’t think this is what I want with my life anymore. I want to solely focus on my career.”

“You are choosing your career over your family.” As the realization started to hit you, you couldn’t control the anger that took over you. “Over your family, Chris?”

“(Y/N) I am just done. I want an out and can we please try to be civil about this?” He pleaded.

“You want me to be civil about this? Fine.” You took a calming breath and closed your eyes for a second. “Just explain it to me. Maybe we can work something out.”

“I can’t- I don’t know how to explain it. Seven months ago I just woke up and I didn’t want to do this anymore. I want to start over.” A shocking chill passed through your body and you realized that it was hurt. You were betrayed.

“So you don’t want to do anything with me or the kids as well?”

“No. I want to be a part of their lives and-”

You looked him in the eyes and spoke in a broken voice, “It’s just me that you want out of your life.”

“Darling, no-” Chris tried to reach out for your hand but you placed them on your hands. He had lost the right to touch you from the moment he said that he didn’t want you. You were just a problem for him that needed to be solved.

There were years when he needed you every step of the way. Chris met you at a party that Scarlett threw. You were her best friend so you were invited to her New Year’s party. The moment he saw you, he was head over heels. He followed you around for two months to get you to go on a date with him. You used to tease him afterwards that he was a love sick puppy. But he was your love sick puppy.

That was not the case now and you didn’t know what you will do if he wasn’t in your life anymore. Your world revolved around your family but now it was all falling apart. You were falling apart.

“We can file for divorce tomorrow. Do you want to stay here tonight?” Wiping your tears, you got up from the stool and put the glasses in the sink.

“Uhh okay, okay. I can stay with Scott tonight.”

This was not what he expected. He expected you to cry, fight, scream. He thought there would be more discussion on this topic. Seven years were going to waste and you were treating this as a simple business transaction. Truth be told, you didn’t want him to see you fall apart. Chris had lost that right. If he didn’t want a life with you, then you were not going to beg him to stay. You were going to fulfill his wish and set him free.

“We have to take the kids out tomorrow. I was thinking the park.”

“What?” He was too distracted by everything to even realize what you were talking about.

“We will talk to them about the divorce tomorrow.”

“Isn’t this going a little too fast?”

“We should get this all over with as soon as possible. Goodbye, Chris.” Silently pecking him on his cheek, you went to your shared bedroom.

The moment your head touched the pillow, you were surrounded by his scent. The dam burst and you couldn’t stop the tears from running down your face and getting soaked up by the cushions. What were you going to do with your life now? You had to come up with a plan to manage the kids together with Chris. You had to think about getting a job that would accommodate your kids in to it now that you were going to be a single parent. You didn’t get a wink of sleep last night and you cried a lot.

On the other hand, Chris was not doing any better. Scott gave him the spare guest room to sleep in. He didn’t know what was going on between his brother and you but he knew it was serious. Chris couldn’t sleep last night either because he was not used to. This was the first time in seven years that you both were in the same city and you were not sleeping together. You wouldn’t be sleeping with him from now on. He has to get used to that idea. The idea of you not being there every step of the way because this was his own doing. He was dreading tomorrow as he was the one who was destroying his family.

“Hi. I was just here to pick you all up.” Guilt washed over him when he noticed your red puffy eyes and eye bags.

“You didn’t have to. We could have come there by ourselves.”

“We always go to the park together. It is our thing.”

“We can’t do all of these things now. Everything is going to change.”

“Right.” You moved towards the kitchen and he followed you like a lost puppy.

“Daddy!” Both kids ran up to him and clinged to his legs like two little monkeys.

“Hey babies.” He held on to them a little bit longer because he knew he was the one who was ruining their little lives.

“Where were you? Missed your pancakes. Mama doesn’t make good.” Mia hadn’t learned to make full sentences yet but Chris understood her perfectly.

“I was busy, baby. I- I-”

“Go get your shoes on. We are going to be late.” You saved him from the conversation because he looked like a deer caught in headlight. Chris couldn’t answer his daughter as this was how it was going to be. He wouldn’t be there for all of this. The important phases. Jace’s first soccer win, his first award, or Mia’s first school day, her first break up, her prom. He was going to miss most of them because you would be there with them while he will get them for weekends mostly.

“Let’s go.” Buckling his kids in, he sat in the driver’s seat. When he pulled out of the garage, his hand instinctively went for yours. It was out of pure instinct. You retracted your hand immediately and Chris just drew in a shaky breath, He was not allowed to touch you now.

“I am taking them to the swings. Do you want to come with?”

“No, I am just going to my usual spot to read my book.” There was a maple tree that had been your spot for the past five years. It was where you rested and caught up with your reading.

“Okay.”

The next hour was spent with Chris going on to every swing with his kids. He didn’t want to miss anything. Plus, he didn’t know how he could sit with you under the tree that held so many memories. You told him that you will marry him under this tree and that you were pregnant with Jace. It was all too much. You couldn’t focus on your reading when this might be the last time you get to see him with your kids. The last time you were together as husband and wife. This might be the last time because Chris wanted you out of his life.

“Hey, kids. We have to talk to you.” You finally gathered up some courage when they all came to sit beside you. Chris couldn’t bring himself to start up this conversation so he was glad that you did.

“Yeah, Mommy?”

“So you know how your friend Oliver’s parents don’t live together but they still love him very much.”

“Yeah.” Jace’s whole concentration was on his ice cream but he still nodded his head to indicate that he was listening. Mia was too young to comprehend it all so you mainly focused on your son.

“Well, Daddy and I are going to be doing the same thing. We love you both very much and we will always there be with you.”

“But Ollie’s daddy doesn’t live with him.” His blue eyes focused on the two of you when he made the statement.

“Yeah, buddy. I will be staying at an apartment really near by. You both can come whenever you want to.”

“You won’t be there to read us night stories or make our favorite brekky?” His question threw Chris off guard and he froze in his place.

“He will be there to do everything for you guys. Mia and you can go to daddy’s place and he can do all this.” You jumped in when you noticed that Chris didn’t know how to respond to all this. “Right, Chris?”

“Yes, that’s right. Nothing is going to change, buddy.” Wiping away his tears, your husband placed him on his lap with Mia.

“Promise?” Mia spoke up this time because she understood that her daddy wouldn’t live with her like he always did.

“Promise. Let’s go back to the house. You both look tired.”

You placed Mia on her bed while Chris did the same for Jace. They both were out the moment they were buckled in their car seats. Coming downstairs, you prepared coffee for Chris and yourself. He always liked his coffee black so that’s what you made for him. The cup was placed in front of him and he sighed because no one made coffee like you.

“Our lawyer said that he will have the papers delivered to us by tomorrow.”

“Okay, I saw this new apartment building when I was coming here this morning. I might rent it out. The penthouse has three rooms. One for the kids and one is the guest bedroom. You can stay there when you bring the kids over.” He looked at you with a defensive position.

“I won’t be staying at your apartment so please don’t take me into consideration.” You didn’t understand why he thought you would ever stay over at his place. You would never subject yourself to that kind of pain.

“But there can be special circumstances and my home will always be open for you, (Y/N). We can still be friends.” He was hoping against all hope that you would agree. He still wanted you in his life.

“I don’t think I can do that. Be friends. There is too much history. Let’s just keep it to the kids right now.” You picked on your nails because you didn’t want to cry like a little girl in front of him. “And I am going to change houses as well so do you want to sell this one?”

“Why do you have to move?” Chris was shocked to hear those words come out of your mouth.

“I can’t live in a house that was meant to be our family house. I just can’t.”

He understood where you were coming from but this house held too many memories. He couldn’t think of another family living here. Some couple living in your master bedroom, some kids running around in your children’s playground, some other family’s picture instead of yours. It was just too much to think about.

“Let’s just keep the house. When the kids grow up, they can have it.”

“Okay. I am tired right now so I am going to bed. I will sign the papers tomorrow and send them over to Scott’s.” You placed the empty mug on the counter and stood in a straight posture. “You want the kids this weekend?”

“Yes, I would like that. Do you want to maybe come with us?” He didn’t know why he was not ready to let you go yet. This was all his doing but he just couldn’t accept it right now.

“Umm no. I think we should settle the kids into this new routine.”

“I guess you are right.”

“Goodbye, Chris. I love you and I will always love you.” You regretted the words that came out of your mouth the instant you said them. You were so stupid but you just couldn’t help yourself. This was probably the last time you ever got to say it.

“I- I love you too, (Y/N). I will always be there for you. Goodbye, darling.” The lump in his throat seemed to grow bigger by the second but he had to say this. Lightly pecking you on the lips, he knew this was the last time he ever got to do this. He left afterwards and you couldn’t help but tear up. The same thing happened with Chris. This was it. Your marriage was over but your love would always be there.

Hope you guys liked it!!

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A/N: I literally cried while writing this fan fiction. This one is particularly close to my heart so please let me know what you think about it. If you want to be added to my tag list, message me. I am also open to requests for this series; requests, blurbs, anything.

P.S: There is a part 2 as well.

Tag list: @kalopsia-flaneur, @justile, @iguessweallcrazyithinktho, @jessyballet , @luckyladycreator2

Like, comment and reblog.

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[darkness-eyes123]

Confessions (I can’t live without you) Part 2 *Billy’s POV

Summary: Bill’s POV after y/n gets shot.

Context: Billy and Y/n have somewhat of an unhealthy relationship for close friends who are not a couple. Everyone around you can see that you’re in love with each other, but the both of you are completely blind to it. That is until Y/n gets shot and Billy loses his mind.

Gif @andrewgrfields

His breathing was ragged

His body felt numb as it shook and trembled.

The pits of his stomach were twisted in knots that he wanted to fucking rip out.

Every single breath he took sent a sharp pain to his chest reminding him of where he was tonight.

Billy’s hands were drenched in blood, he was high on adrenaline, and still every bit of him was tensed and filled with complete and pure unadulterated rage.

The dead bodies of those who dared to take you from him lay in front of him. He had lashed out, destroying them with his bare hands before he made them beg for death. The violence that Billy bestowed on them was nothing that he’d ever felt before, and he’d fucking enjoyed it because they dared to touch you.

They were there for him. They were left over assholes that he dropped from Anvil once Rawlins was put down and out of his way, and they were there for him. The guilt that surged through him wrestled with the fury that wracked him.

He’d never felt so much rage.

It overwhelmed him—blinded him—but rage was something he could deal with. He could put his rage to use. What he couldn’t deal with was the fear. The bone crushing dread, worry and anxiety that Could drive anyone to the brink of insanity.

He never truly feared anything. Life was fucking life and It sucked. Billy especially knew how much it sucked, he’d seen first hand how much it sucked and he made it a point to conquer every single one of his fears since being stuck in those shitty foster care homes.

Even during his time at war, he would fight his way out every single fucking time. He wasn’t afraid of dying. Everyone died. And he’d made his peace with that a long time ago.

Billy never truly feared anything, not until you.

You just had to come and disrupt everything in his life. He had a good thing going on; he had Anvil, he had his buddies and he had an endless amount of beautiful women willing to do whatever he wanted.

His life was good and then you had to come in and uproot it all.

You had to come in all smart and sassy, never willing to put up with his shit. Your work paths had crossed and you’d despised each other for a good while before you managed to worm your way into his heart. You had a talent at doing that and you had no idea how many men he had to scare away because of it.

The thought of you sent quick and sharp waves of pain to his chest and he clenched his watered eyes shut. This was his fault. Every single fucking breath he took hurt. It was like a fucking Boulder was planted there, the weight of it stifling and he couldn’t breathe properly.

Not without you.

You had looked so fucking beautiful when he had taken you to the gala. Billy had kept you close because he wanted to fucking kill any asshole who looked at you, because no matter what, you were his. You were his from the moment you stepped into his office and you were his every day after.

He was dancing with you, you were so close it intoxicated him, and you had been laughing in his arms. He had never felt so complete. He felt like a goddamn teenager, it was pathetic—but he could care less. Then all of a sudden there was a loud commotion and gunmen blazed through the building. The desperation that rushed through him was nothing that he’d ever felt before. All he could think about was getting you the fuck out, everyone else be damned. He fought his way through, his senses heightened and yet he’d miss a gunmen pointing right at him, he could’ve evaded it, but you’d jumped right in front of him as the shot went off.

Billy’s heart had shattered into a fucking million pieces from the moment he saw you bleeding on the floor. It broke into more and more fragments every single second that you were away from him. Every single second that you remained unconscious—every single fucking dreadful second that he begged for you to wake up, to just open those beautiful eyes, to let him know that you were going to be okay.

But whatever was left inside of his heart stopped the moment yours did.

He barely remembers the hospital ride, the threats he made to the doctor if something happened to you, Curtis holding him back—because all he could remember was the fucking sound of the machines crashing and the sound of you leaving him.

Time seemed to have stopped and seconds felt like hours. The never ending shit hole that was that night managed to engulf him and he was stuck in the middle of the waves—desperate, clawing for an escape. He couldn’t fucking breathe. He couldn’t function. He had lost it. He had fallen to the floor and all he could hear was the noise of the machine and the muffled sound of Curtis screaming and trying to get him to breathe.

For 15 seconds you were gone and he had lost all sense of self. 15 seconds he had experienced a panic like no other. He fucking lived without you in this world and there was no pain in this world to match it. He felt empty like he was outside of his body.

He was losing you.

He was in a haze, violent tremors ran through him, and the only thing that brought him out was the sounds of those machines being steadied. Every breath he took after that was dragged out of him by Curtis. Billy’s fists clenched in pain, fear and anger. The anger was what he chose to cling on too in that moment— a survival instinct— because that was the only thing that he could control then.

Every minute Billy sat in that hospital waiting room haunted him because that meant that the shooters had an extra minute to get away. He hated himself for leaving you, he felt like a coward for leaving you but it needed to be done. He needed to eliminate them. That was what he told himself, a convincing act to hide what the deepest darkest pits of his soul knew— and that was he was afraid of staying there, waiting there and watching you die.

********

You were out of surgery in the ICU and he was in some shitty warehouse surrounded by dead bodies and left alone with the sound of those 15 seconds playing on repeat. He would forever be haunted by it.

He slammed his bloodied hands against his chest hoping willing for the pain to go away. He wished so badly that it was him instead. Why? Why couldn’t it have been him? Why did you get in the way? Why did you fucking do this to him? Why were you leaving him? Did you not know that he would burn the world a thousand times over before seeing you hurt? He never got the fucking chance to hold you the way he wanted, to kiss you— to spoil you with gifts, dates and movie nights— and he never got the chance to make you breathless as he claimed you again and again. You were always his, but he fucking never got the chance to show you.

He wanted to fucking sob on the ground. He wanted to bury himself next to you and hope that this was all just some sick dream. This was his fault.

His bloodied hands pulled at his hair as tears fell from his face. His palm hit at his head to rid himself of the images that tortured his mind.

“Bill.” He looked up hearing his name called out from the shadows.

Frank had walked towards him, his own hands covered in blood, a body being dragged with him, and his punisher gear illuminating in the dark that surrounded them.

“It’s done.” Frank through the body in front of him. A small bit of satisfaction filled Billy at seeing the mangled body, but it didn’t matter because you were still fighting for your life.

Billy had nodded towards Frank , tears blanketed his face giving unspoken words of gratitude for his brother. Frank didn’t even need to be told that they were going after these pieces of shit. He had already found them for Billy— he already knew that they were never ever going to see the fucking light of day again.

Frank had crouched down in front of him, his hand on his shoulder offering whatever comfort he could. “She’s gonna be okay Bill… Karen and Curtis, they called. She’s out of the danger zone. It might be a day or a couple but she’s gonna be okay.”

The overbearing weight on Billy’s shoulders dropped a little and he let out a breath that he felt liked he’d been holding since he saw you lying on the floor drenched in blood. His insides shook with it’s release. His eyes stung with a new wave of tears. You were okay—for now. “What if something else happens, what if—I can’t fucking lose her Frank?” He voiced his anxieties. Anything could happen still, a fucking infection, a blood clot—anything. He just needed you awake, he needed you to tell him you were okay. The itch to go and see you came at full force and he just needed to be with you, to see for himself.

Frank rested his forehead against Billy’s.” Shhh, she’s gonna be okay. You hear me. She’s gonna be okay. She’s always been a fighter. Always. And when she wakes up your ass has better be there and then your ass better tell her how you feel.”

Billy didn’t even have it in him to respond to that. He had no snarky comment, no banter—just nothing. It was him who put you there in the first place and he’d rather die then ever see you hurt again. He didn’t deserve you and telling you how he felt could just make you a target.

“She’s fucking there because of me.” He bit out.

“Hey. Don’t do that. Don’t go there. This is on them. They decided to do that—not you, you hear me.” Frank pushed through in attempt to get to him. “Those pieces of shit decided this. This is not your fault.”

Frank pulled him up patting Billy’s back as he stood. “Go get yourself cleaned up and go to her Bill. She’ll probably be allowed visitors soon. I’ll take care of this shit.” He pointed at the bodies giving Billy one last pat before leaving.

*********

He had gone to the hospital as fast as he could. The desperation of seeing you mixing with guilt that continued to spread within him.

The guilt rattled him. It ate him up and the possibility of you dying because of him was enough to end whatever your relationship with him was. He was selfish by nature and to give you up was something he would never ever consider doing, but your life had almost ended. Although it would slowly drive him insane, he had told himself he’d see you once and then he’d fucking stay away—he just needed to see you—but that all changed the moment he laid eyes on you.

You were surrounded by so many cords and machines, you looked so fragile and yet so strong and a well of emotion and anger assaulted him. A sob came out as he walked towards you, his hands trembling to finally touch you, to make him believe that you were still here with him. His eyes travelled to the rise and fall of your chest and to the monitor that very much confirmed that you were still here with him. He wanted to kill those bastards all over again and he wanted to lock you away so no harm could come to you again.

He had told himself to walk away, even as he sat there with you for hours, begging for you to come back to him. He could barely keep his eyes off of you, irrational thoughts filling his mind, worried that if he looked away something would happen or this would be a dream and you’d disappear.

Every step he took away from you left him with a crazed feeling of panic, an anxiety that swarmed it’s way inside of him until he was left with no choice but to stay there and watch over you. The minutes he was forced to leave for necessities or for the doctors to run tests left him restless and that feeling would take control of him again until his eyes finally rested on you again.

Karen had tried to get him to rest, but he couldn’t without nightmares threatening to take over. He could barely close his eyes without seeing you shot. Without hearing that monitor remind him that you were lifeless.

He couldn’t eat, he could barely sleep and somehow he thought he could walk away from you. Somehow he thought that once you woke up he’d be able to fight you and walk away.

But as usual you uprooted everything and captured him under your spell. When your eyes had opened and when you had called out for him, he wanted to pull you in his arms, hold you tight and never let you go. The pain in his chest burned and he finally felt like he could breathe again. You were alive. You were going to be okay. He didn’t lose you.

He could barely fight being away from you unconscious he didn’t know why he thought he could when your eyes were set on him, looking beautiful. making horrible miserable jokes, calling him out and telling him to fuck off.

He never stood a fucking chance with you. You were his and he was yours. And no one was ever going to try and take you from him again.

The end.

I’m sorry getting this out took so long, life is all sorts of crazy. Writing for the same story different POV is harder then I thought, because I don’t want to be repetitive Lol, so please let me know what you think! I hope this was worth the wait! Thank you so much for all my readers. You guys are amazing! ❤️ Here’s the link to part 1.

https://darkness-eyes123.tumblr.com/post/667816438602547200/confessions-i-cant-live-without-you

[spectral-kitkat]

Miraculous Rant.

Where the hell do I begin…

Season 1:

The show was decent in season 1. Some episodes were just mindless filler and probably weren’t needed in the grand scheme of things but they helped us get introduced to the characters, we got to know the plot and the world our characters inhabit. It was good. The love story between Adrien and Marinette was cute and off to a touching and fluffy start.

Season 2:

This season was immediately better than season 1. It had character development, it went more into detail about the lore surrounding the Miraculous and we got to learn more about our characters and their families and the villian’s motives. (HM really went from “I wanna destroy the world” to “I wanna wake my wife from the coma she’s in”).

We got to see new heroes which was fun! We got new characters like Luka and Kagami.

The season finale was epic! The Miraculous team all taking down all the previous villains in the show was awesome. At the end we even got Mari kissing Adrien on the cheek. It was great! (Even though it clearly reset itself in season 3 cause it’s never mentioned again)

I really enjoyed season 2 and it’s probably my favourite out of the 4.

Season 3:

Season 3 was kinda good and kinda bad. We had some great episodes but this is where the show took the wrong turn.

Marinette lost some of her character in season 3. This was the start of her descent into being the Queen of Mary Sues. It’s also where she was crowned the Queen of Stalkers! Her character took a fucking nose dive in this season. We had so many moments that just creeped me the fuck out.

1. The ENTIRETY of Puppeteer 2 🤢🤢🤢 I could not stand that episode. When we reached the dreaded statue scene I physically had to pause it like 10 times. That scene takes about 3 minutes to watch… it took me about 20. I cringed so fucking hard because of the secondhand embarrassment I was feeling. That was not sweet, it wasn’t romantic, it wasn’t the least bit cute… it was a train wreck! It was creepy and stalkerish and it’s a wonder Adrien even spoke to her again after that atrocity!

2. LB delivering the present in Chat Blanc. Two words: STALKER BEHAVIOUR!!! I genuinely could not believe my eyes when I saw LB run her hand across everything in his room and then actually SNIFF Adrien’s pillow. Like WTF!!! 🤮 I’m pretty sure whoever was responsible for that scene clearly thought it was the equivalent of when someone gets their S/O’s jumper or something and it still smells like them. But this turned it up to the nth degree and way passed the line of sanity.

Adrien was extremely under-utilised in this season. He didn’t really do anything. The only episodes we got about him didn’t really focus on him. ‘Felix’ whilst focusing on Adrien’s family didn’t really feature him. ‘Party Crasher’ while a beautiful mess was more about Mari trying to get into the party than the party itself. ‘Chat Blanc’ again focused more on Mari trying to fix her mistake.

We got even more heroes in season 3, not in the right order but they were there. It was fun seeing everyone’s transformations.

Season 3 was also the season of destroying redemptions. The big one obviously being Chloe. Season 2 was setting up this amazing redemption for her and before it could go anywhere it was wiped off the face of the earth during the finale (and don’t worry we’ll get to that dumpster fire later). Gabriel also had any remaining sympathy ripped away from him. How did the guy who stopped Gorizilla from letting Adrien die when he only thought he was CN go from that to using his son like fucking baseball in Chat Blanc when he knew his son was CN. Like I knew you were a shit father but you still cared about Adrien in some way shape or form but after that episode I can see I was clearly mistaken!

Before we get to the finale I want to talk about probably my 2 least favourite episodes from this season: Desperada and Reflekdoll

Desperada:

I fucking hated this episode! The only good thing was Luka getting to be Viperion, other than that this episode was awful!

Marinette was a selfish cringey bitch. Completely ignoring Luka to gush about Adrien to Jagged. Brushing Luka off as soon as Adrien turns up. Immediately cuddling up to Aspik and flirting with him when she needed to focus on the akuma (something which she has told CN not to do many times before)

Adrien, I love you kid but Jesus Christ you were a dumbass in this episode! Aspik’s design was terrible! Aspik himself was awful. I know Adrien tried his best but dude you were given the Black Cat miraculous for a reason! He shouldn’t have tried to be Aspik but even when he did he should’ve called it quits after like 5 resets not 25,913 times.

The only person with a brain this episode was Luka. So well done guitar boy, gold star!

Reflekdoll:

This episode was annoying! It was basically the start of the Marinette can do no wrong streak! When they have to swap miraculous I was happy cause it meant we got to see new outfits and see how they each handle the different powers. It would also serve as a way to get LB and CN to see what their partners role is first hand. Until we actually get to it…

LadyNoire is of course amazing and needs no introduction to using this new miraculous that she’s never used before. She’s cocky and confident and basically just LB in Chat’s costume with his powers.

Mister Bug on the other hand is just useless. He struggles with this new miraculous (like anyone would!) and is stupid and goofy. He has to rely on LadyNoire to solve the lucky charm. They swapped miraculous so shouldn’t that mean that Mister Bug should get the lucky vision and the creative powers that the earrings give him.

Overall Reflekdoll is awful. It was shitty writing and the start of Adrien getting the short end of the stick.

And now the season 3 finale… Just what the fuck. That is my only reaction: what the fuck!

Chloe you poor fucking child! What did they do to you!!! So much potential SQUANDERED!!!!

What was the point in bringing in all these different superheros with unique skill sets, costumes and transformations if you were just going to immediately reveal them to the main villian so they can’t be used again. That’s stupid! If you wanted the shock value that is “Oh no HM knows some of the heroes identities!” Then keep it as only some. Have like Max, Kim and Kagami outside trying to find somewhere to hide but unfortunately they get hit. Or Nino and Alya are hiding but the windows open and they get hit. Have some of the heroes hide so they’re fine! Taking away every ally of LB and CN’s was a stupid move! (Even if they wanted Alya to become a spy have her as part of the like 4 that get revealed or something, it’s not that difficult)

Season 3 was 50/50 for me

Season 4:

So I know season 4 isn’t even halfway through yet but so much is wrong with this season already that I need to vent!

So my biggest problem with this season of Miraculous: Tales of Ladybitch and Rena Rouge, I mean Rena Furtive… shit, Chat Noir! Is that CN is basically pointless! Adrien has been flung over a rainbow and is only remembered when he’s needed as

1. Marinette’s love interest

2. Someone for LB to shout at

3. A plot device

He has basically been sidelined. Partners my ASS!!!

Adrien is being blown off by pretty much EVERYONE! It’s coming to a point where this poor sweet summer child is going to crack! And it is not gonna be pretty… I definitely feel like the writers are leading up to a big fight between CN and LB which will probably end with Chat Blanc 2.0.

I REALLY HATE MARINETTE/LADYBUG!!!! In Season 3 I said it was the beginning of her descent, well in season 4 she’s done it. She’s descended, she has hit rock fucking bottom. She is so unlikable I don’t actually care about her as a person. She has entered full blown stalker territory it’s only a matter of time before she starts killing people for even looking at Adrien! Not to mention that Miss Mary Sue here can’t do anything wrong! She never has to suffer the consequences of her actions, she is always perfect no matter what she does… it pisses me off!)

She’s the Guardian now big whoop. I know what it feels like to be stressed and under pressure so I do understand why she needed to tell someone about it all. I just don’t see why that person had to Alya! Especially considering she has someone by her side every akuma attack going through pretty much the exact same thing. I know she’s worried about CB happening again but as I said before the more she leaves him out the more she is actually pushing that to become a possibility! Plus it makes sense for them to reveal their identities now since LB is now the guardian it’s probably a good idea to know who holds the cat miraculous, she knows everyone else’s identities!

Even if she didn’t want to tell CN her identity she could still explain the situation to him. If she didn’t want to tell him anything (which she doesn’t anyway) then instead of Alya she should’ve talked to Luka! Her boyfriend for all of half an episode (thanks writers…). He’s so sweet and caring and clearly loves her so much! If she wanted someone to confide in then why not choose the person you clearly wanted to date but couldn’t because of that very reason! (Yeah I know it’s kinda a moot point now since Luka knows both identities but still). He wanted to try and comfort her so it would’ve been the perfect moment for it. That way you could still date him and he’d know why you had to suddenly leave dates halfway through! But no break the boys heart instead!

Adrien and Marinette were both such fucking idiots in the first 2 episodes. Like why would you start a relationship with someone when you know your heart isn’t in it! That’s called leading someone on and is a really shitty thing to do to someone! No wonder Kagami and Luka ended up akumatized!

Another aspect of season 4 I don’t like is Rena Furtive. Yes ok having a spy for your side is a good strategy but when said spy basically tells an important member of a duo that the 2 person job doesn’t involve them… it just really ticks me off! Alya you are the sidekick to LB and CN! Chat isn’t!

Miraculous specials:

The Miraculous World specials suck! Shanghai is better than NY but still has its problems. Both specials add nothing to the overall plot/lore of the show apart from trying to set up some weird cinematic universe…

NY special:

One of the worst things I’ve ever had to sit through! The plane scene alone I paused a few times. I want to say well done to Mari for trying to move on from Adrien (especially considering I’m pretty sure she’s dating Luka at this point) but I can’t help but think it’s just to give her character some pointless development that goes nowhere and doesn’t actually develop anything!

LB can pretty much fuck off at this point! I hate her! She put all this shit on CN (like she doesn’t know exactly how that feels). It’s like why does she get to go off on holiday but CN can’t. LB should’ve stayed in Paris for 3 reasons:

1. She’s recently become the guardian meaning it would probably be best that she stayed with the Mircle Box

2. She’s the only one who can purity the akumas

3. If she’s so sure about being the boss then she should take responsibility of Paris and the citizens.

What really pisses me off about her is what she says to CN during the big fight. “I can’t trust you”… surely you could have this conversation afterwards since you’re supposed to be focusing on taking down the villian! Plus everyone bashes Adrien for giving his miraculous up in this episode but look at it from his point of view: His partner and best friend just said she couldn’t trust him which in turn caused him to cataclysm someone and essentially kill them. That’s gonna take a toll on anyone, especially a 14 year old! He probably thought in that moment. “Ladybug needs a partner she can trust and someone who won’t mess up and kill someone. She needs a better partner.” It makes sense he renounces his miraculous! I’m just upset that in doing so he loses Plagg who is pretty much his only friend who actually understands what Adrien goes through at home.

When Uncanny gets CN to come back, LB acts like it’s not her fault in the first place that he feels inadequate! She didn’t even apologise for saying what she did! He apologised for lying about not being in Paris but nope LB wasn’t in the wrong at all and didn’t have anything to apologise for 🙄… (yes the LadyNoir hug was amazing but I just wish it was under different circumstances!)

Also are we not gonna mention Gabriel Agreste almost starting WW3??? He wanted to launch a fucking missile!!!

Shanghai:

As I said before, this special is way better for several reasons.

We got MariChat! (Best side to the love square imo). This special actually had some semblance on a plot. Fei, whilst a bit op, was a cool character. It was nice to see Wang Cheng again.

However once again there were many problems.

A big one being Marinette yet again! (What a shock! 😒 I’ll come back to this). Another was that once again HM’s motivation has changed. How is getting the Prodigious gonna help bring back Emilie??

Back to Marinette… The fact that the words “Huh?! There must be some kind of mistake! I always know what's up with Adrien! … His 5 first names and every corresponding name date, his yearly schedule, even his shoe size! If there were anything to know about him, I would know it!” come out of her mouth whilst she is flipping through his schedule that she keeps in her pocketbook is a hugh red flag!!! That is not cute or adorable! That’s messed up and Adrien needs to fucking run and maybe possibly go into witness protection… Marinette is a full blown stalker! Not to mention the GPS she has (that could just be the find my friends app on iphone but still).

It also is extremely rude of her to use not only her great uncle’s birthday but also a lie about wanting to know her Chinese heritage in order to go to Shanghai to stalk her obsession, I mean crush. This could’ve been avoided if the Dupain-Chengs were going to Shanghai for the purpose of celebrating Wang Cheng’s bday and then Adrien just so happened to be in Shanghai.

Also this means LB left Paris without telling CN! I know CN did the same but again he can’t purify the akumas. Plus he has a reason he couldn’t stay in Paris, Mari just went cause her crush did. Great guardianship there Marinette.

This was also the last time CN actually did something. Even if it was for a short while before LB and her female partner took over (the beginning of a theme…)

Other things:

There are 2 other things that I wanna say but felt they needed a separate bit.

In Furious Fu, Su-Han has a rule book that he uses to tell Marinette which rules she has broken. At the end of the episode he tells her that is she breaks 1 more rule that he will take the Miraculous and the Miracle Box off her, which fair enough but wouldn’t it be helpful to leave the rule book with her?! How can she be wary of not breaking anymore rules when she doesn’t even know what the rules are??

Now the big one: Master Fu…

Where do I even start with him. He is so fucking manipulative!! He is Asian Dumbledore!

He decides to leave these extremely powerful jewels in the hands of 13 year olds! Surely leaving the miraculous to someone in their 20s would’ve been better!

He clearly favours LB over CN even though the Ladybug and Black Cat are supposed to be partners! Wouldn’t it make sense for them both to be in contact with the guardian from the start?? He randomly started introducing rules such as if LB and CN find out each other’s identities they would lose their miraculous… what kind of bullshit rule is that? It also came out of fucking nowhere!

Final Thoughts:

But to summarise all of that: Miraculous is on quite a steep decline but I’m invested at this point and I am genuinely curious as to where the fuck this will go.

Marinette needs professional fucking help before the writers even consider canonising Adrienette cause at the moment she is not what Adrien needs!

Adrien needs to stand up for himself! He needs to pull LB to the side and tell her what he feels and what he’s going through cause he is on the precipice of a breakdown!

(Small point that’s more to do with the fandom: when searching for fanfics it’s really annoying that Adrien Agreste/Chat Noir Bashing is a tag but Marinette Dupain-Cheng/Ladybug Bashing isn’t. Why does everyone think Marinette can do no wrong???)

[myafterlifeisbetterthenyours]

Can you do Stolas with an imp and the imp falling for Stolas but hiding it, Stolas eventually finding out and confessing he felt the same? With Stolas being *ahem* himself per say

Stolas with Imp S/O

Youd worked all over Hell, in many occupations. From cooking to cleaning and a wide variety of maintenance.

And with your extensive experience in so many fields, it wasnt difficult to get a job serving in the prestigious Goetia Palace.

You got used to your duties quickly, thoroughly cleaning the east wing when lord Stolas walked by.

Now you'd only had a brief interaction with the owl Demon during your time at the palace, but by all rights he seemed a decent fellow, at least by Demonic Overlord standards.

However, as he passed by he was confronted by his wife. His wife, Lady Stella, went off on him, demanding to know if he'd prepared for a gathering later that day.

You knew about the gathering, and it was very clear Stolas had not prepared for it.

You watched as the owl sputtered and tripped over his words as he desperately tried to explain to his wife why he hadn't prepared for it.

You don't really know why you did it, most Imps would give an arm and a leg to see a noble being given a thrashing by there wives.

But Stolas didn't deserve such a thing, so you stepped forwards, apologising on his behalf.

Telling her you were still new to the job and he was helping you with an urgent matter and that's why he was unable to prepare for the gathering.

Stella stared at you for a long moment and just when you thought she'd say something, she smacked you clean across the face.

Between Stella's inherent strength and your small size, the smack sent you into the nearest wall.

Stella told you coldly to never distract her husband again, and NEVER address her in such an insolent manner ever again.

Stolas was indignant, yelling at her that that was completely unnecessary. Getting her to out of the room he rushed to your side, ensuring you were alright.

Asking if you were alright, you told him It hurt like Hell, but you'd gone through worse. You had a chuckle before the owl thanked you for stepping in like that, asking why you'd do such a thing.

You told him up front, he was probably the best boss you'd had and you couldn't just watch him be chewed out like that.

After that incident, you found yourself with a day off. Although it was explained by a scheduling issue, you always thought of it as a thank you, from Stolas.

After that, however, Stolas seemed to keep you close, personally asking you to attend to tasks he was unable to, and over time you grew to be his go to Imp when he needed something important done.

You quickly made yourself indispensable to the Prince, using your diverse skill set you could handle just about anything he threw your way.

You would organise his day to day, tell him when and were something important was happening, you were basically his personal assistant and as such you were basically attached at the hip, doing everything and anything to support your Prince.

You spent the majority of your waking hours with the Stolas, and much to your growing dread, you found yourself falling for the Prince.

I mean he didn't make it easy on you. The fucking owl seemed to go out of his way to be as adorable as possible, acting like a big child. And it didn't help that he was genuinely kind to you, caring for you as more than just an asset. He treated you like a respected being.

And getting such attention from a noble, was... intoxicating.

A touch, a smile. The Owls harmonious laughter at some stupid joke you made, it was borderline addictive.

But as much as you may... crave~ his attention, you could never reveal these feelings.

You may be his favourite Imp, but you were an Imp none the less. You were so far beneath him there was no chance you could even hope to gain his attention.

And as much as that tore you up inside, you accepted that. Deciding instead to channel that affection in a way that would best serve your prince.

Stolas was quite fond of you.

He was so used to people only helping him in return for something, But you were different. You served him while asking for nothing in return.

His colder, aristocratic side would say you were just doing your duty, just serving like a good little Imp should.

But he could tell. You went above and beyond serving him, helping him in every endeavour he faced.

Over time, he noticed you becoming more affectionate, being more open and light hearted, treating him more like a friend than a Prince, like everyone else did. Something the Owl found intoxicating in its own right.

Of course he had his Owlet for unconditional love and affection, but your affectionate had this strange affect on him. You were kind to him, asking nothing in return, and that made him all fuzzy inside.

But just as he came to enjoy your affection, feeling like he had something to make the cold and cut throat reality of nobility bearable, you pulled back. You became more formal, like all the others in his life that served him.

And while at first he had hoped it was just a temporary hiccup, it quickly got to a point stolas couldn't take it anymore.

The owl ended up using every trick he could think of to figure out just why you'd pulled back.

It was somewhat underhanded, but one night, after you'd said goodnight, Stolas used his Grimoire and observed your unconcious mind. But he never would have expected what he saw.

He got a full view of how you viewed him.

He didn't know if he should be flattered or shocked, as in your eyes he was on parr with a diety.

He was this being of pure mercy and kindness, so far above you, you held your feelings back because you believed there was no way you could get close to him.

Your dream slowly morphed to reveal how terrified you were of admitting it, an all consuming fear that such information would destroy the relationship you held as the most important thing in your life.

Stolas was in shock.

Afterwards he spent the whole night thinking about you.

He couldnt deny he had strong feelings towards you.

After all, you'd always gone above and beyond for him, you were his most trusted and beloved servant, and... he liked to think of you as his friend.

But now that he knew your dedication was fuelled by love, it gave him a whole new perspective to your behaviour.

The way you smiled at him.

The way you laughed at his jokes.

The way you stuck close to him, the way you got defensive on his behalf, so much so you'd started fights with other staff members whom had disrespected him.

All these actions had once seemed so innocent, seemingly coming from your deep sense of loyalty and commitment.

But now, he knew they came from a place of love and devotion.

He spent the whole night thinking it over, pacing his office, deep in thought.

But no matter how hard he thought about it, he always reached the same conclusion.

He loved you.

He knew it was crazy. After all, he had a family. He had a loving- er... Well, he had a wife.

He had a beautiful daughter, and yet here he was, having unknowingly fallen for an Imp.

He went over it a hundred times and every time he thought about it he simply couldn't deny his feelings for you.

You were kind, loving and selfless. Youd always seemed to put his needs above your own And for Stolas, whom had never know selfless love. He realised it was all hed ever wanted.

Now Stolas had to decide what to do with this information.

Unfortunately Stolas couldn't keep a secret from you to save his life, you could simply read him to well.

And it wouldn't take long for him to crack, finding it impossible to keep such a major secret from you.

He'd get you somewhere private, using the excuse of business to get you alone.

Once he was confident you wouldn't be interrupted, he'd basically pin you to a wall, the owl hesitating for a moment before telling you, he knew.

You tried to play it off, telling him you didn't know what he was talking about.

Only for Stolas to snap at you, telling you, you knew exactly what he was talking about.

He leaned in close, whispering he knew you loved him.

You tried to stay composed, but internally you were freaking. Doing your best to keep calm and play it off.

The problem was Stolas was so close, you could smell his morning coffee and he was staring right at you, not giving you any time to calm down and think of a clever excuse.

But you couldn't. You couldn't lie to his face.

So you confessed, you confessed to loving him. You confessed you loved him more than anything, more then you knew how to handle. So you hid it from him.

There was a long silence.

You expected him to drop you, throw you to the side and tell you to get out of his sight, or maybe just kill you then and there.

But he didn't, instead he... he kissed you.

He planted a deep passionate kiss right on the lips, and... and you just couldn't help but return it. You wrapped your smaller arms around his neck, giving him your all.

Breaking the kiss, Stolas cupped your cheek and you were left stunned once again, when he told you... He loved you too.

You were so happy you were almost in tears, holding Stolas so close you almost feared you'd snap him in half, the two of you sharing a moment of joy and warmth.

You pressed your forheads and for the first time in both your lives you held someone you knew loved you for you close.

You held each other close for a long while, Stolas pressing you against his chest. Leaning back, you just smiled at each other.

It was a warm little smile, a smile you gave to someone you cared for deeply.

Scratching your neck, you asked him "What comes next?"

A devious little smile crossed his lips as he stared down at you, a predatory glow to his crimson gaze.

He carried you briskly to the nearest bedroom, carrying you to the bed he dropped you, pressing you against the bed.

Sliding his hands up your shirt, he purred down at you, "After all you've done for me, I think it's only fair..." He licked his lips, "I return the favour."

He stripped you down slowly, trailing kisses across your body.

You spent the night together, wrapped in throws of passion, Stolas doing his very best to bring you as much pleasure as possible.

You went at it long into the night, you pouring all the love and affection you'd repressed for so long.

There being one particular moment where the owl lost his mind when you flipped him over, pinning him down and took control.

You went at it until you collapsed in each other's embrace.

The next morning was like a whole new reality for you two. You held each other close and just relished the new found love you had for each other.

Your relationship would continue in secret, the both of you desperate to keep this new flame alive. Your position as his right hand Imp enabling you to stay close and be with him in private without raising any suspicion.

The two of you had frequent little 'rendezvous', where ever, when ever you wanted too without much issue.

Stolas' favourite was having a quick romp in the car on the way home from a meeting.

As amazing as your romance would be, there would always be a risk hanging over, something you were always cautious of. Although your concerns were dismissed by Stolas and you really found it hard to stay focused around him.

But as perfext as your relationship was, it would all come crashing down when you were discovered by Stella.

Now Stella's reaction could vary drastically depending on the nature of there marriage.

If Stella genuinely loved Stolas, she'd likely loose her shit.

Going off on Stolas while also likely try to kill you.

The family would be divided much like with Blitzø, although this time you would actually be there to support Stolas emotionally, not to mention you'd likely have a decent chance of getting along with Octavia.

But If there union was, say, more business than personal. Well... terms could be reached.

She'd still likely freak out, but Stolas could temper her fury before it could get out of hand.

They could reach an accord, you and him could be together so long as your relationship never sees the light of day.

After that, your relationship went up a notch, Stolas not having to hold back like before, he would basically go feral with you, spending every available second wrapped in a passionate embrace with you.

[witchy-jadda]

rott spoilers ahead

so i’ve given myself some time to think about everything and try to process it all and here are some of my thoughts on trollhunters: rise of the titans...

- straight off the bat, i loved the intro. opening with blinky telling the story of what happened up until this point was incredible. i would have loved if they had circled back to this though (i saw someone else say it should have been him telling the story to jim and claire’s kids and i loved that idea!)

- i also liked that they didn’t waste time at the start, instead they just jumped right into the action which was fun.

- honestly, i thought jim’s plotline throughout the movie where he basically thought he was useless without the amulet was just really not fun to watch. i understand why it was there and it played into the climax but i really did not find it one bit necessary seeing as i felt that we have grown beyond that. i felt it was overused. we’ve been there before and jim is aware that he’s the trollhunter, amulet or not.

- douxie being so soft with nari was genuinely one of the most heartwarming parts of the movie. i feel that we were really robbed of so much potential with douxie in this movie though. we didn’t see nearly enough of him. it seemed that the writers were picking and choosing when to remember how powerful he is. switching with nari and connecting to her are two examples of when they actually used his power, but aside from that they just disregarded it a lot.

- and speaking of forgetting how powerful people are... i’m genuinely so hurt and let down over what they did to claire. do they not realise how powerful she is? did they just forget about her character arc? it sure felt like it. she got to use her powers a few times (connecting to nari, portalling the titan, etc) but mostly it felt like she was saying she was spent and therefore unable to do anything. she is so strong and so powerful, and that’s just so empowering - especially for young girls. and then it kinda felt to me that rott was reducing her to basically nothing more than jim’s love interest.

- okay another quick note, it kinda felt to me that krel’s potential was also pretty wasted? he barely did anything and i just think he deserved more too.

- ew okay i don’t even want to think about it but i know i can’t discuss rott without talking about the mpreg thing. seriously, what the fuck was that? at first, i thought it was going to be a joke. i thought aja and krel were gonna wind steve up and see how far they could go with making him think he was pregnant just for a little bit of comic relief. but then he was actually pregnant. and so i laughed, because even though it was dumb it was kind of funny. weird and unexpected, but kind of funny. but by the time the movie was over it just didn’t sit right with me. looking past the fact that it was just more of them making steve’s character into a joke, i couldn’t see the logic in giving so much time to that subplot when other characters (claire, douxie) and other relationships (claire and douxie’s friendship) were sidelined. maybe if he had gotten a whole season the mpreg thing could have been included as comic relief or whatever, but with such limited time i really don’t see the point of wasting so much time on something so pointless. 

- speaking of steve, i need to talk about creepslayerz... they really deserved more :( like i get that eli literally helped steve through child birth and then named one after him which was lowkey adorable but i loved their friendship so much and i was really hoping to see more of them. i was kind of hoping they’d get to do more as well. look i gave up on hopes of a romance long ago (even though i still really wished it would happen) but i hoped that at least we’d see some more of their friendship.

* by this point my brain has decided to forget absolutely every point i wanted to make... cue the brain fog (we don’t like her) and allow me to take a moment to read back and try to find my point again *

- i don’t think i can stress enough how much i loved the visuals in this movie. holy fucking shit it was just phenomenal. like wow. the art was absolutely fantastic and i’m really hoping for another the art of... book because i love the art of trollhunters and i feel that they could do with updating it to include the newer stuff. but yep, the animation quality was incredible and i don’t have a bad thing to say about it because just wow.

- speaking of art... a moment of appreciation for character designs. just wow wow wow. we love to see such intricately designed villains. we love to see growth in our other much loved characters. and the locations too? fantastic. beautiful. amazing. loved it.

- another moment of appreciation for jim. the hair. the scars. the injuries. the winter jacket. the fact that he looked a little older.... loved it. loved it, loved it, loved it. i cannot wait to spend hours pouring over reference pictures to draw them all.

- and claire... her armor being weathered and worn. her eyes!! her hair looked great as always. i just love her...

- nari nari nari... my goodness, her magic is so beautiful. i wish we got to see more.

- also, the jlaire moments were very cute. their kisses? so soft. they literally love each other so much. i adore them.

- what happened to the babies from the darklands btw? is not enrique just chilling in the lake’s house with a ton of babies? 

- barbara deserved better. i would have liked to see her and strickler happy.

- on that note, why the actual fuck did they think a few explosives would win against magic?? literal ancient magic and these dumbasses were like huh i guess we should blow it up. i’m sorry, what?? y’all are stupid.

* currently trying to think of every possible point that isn’t to do with the ending because i really don’t want to think about that yet *

- the whole thing with archie and charlemagne felt super unnecessary. like usually characters sacrifice themselves and it’s like sad and you can see the reasoning and stuff. but they literally could have gotten out. i really did not vibe with that. it felt like they just did that to leave douxie with no one.

- that trollmarket was beautiful though.

- speaking of trollmarket... they really restored the heartstone just like that? are you joking? i was not impressed at all. the heartstone was dead and gone, could not be destroyed. did they just forget that? half the shit in wizards wouldn’t have happened if the heartstone could have been restored. very pissed off by that. it was dead, that was it.

- okay back to jim... love that he pulled the sword from the stone. it was cute that it was a group effort, kinda would have preferred if it was just him but that’s just a me thing. and maybe me and my daylight tattoo are biased here, but excalibur is not half as pretty as daylight.

- not gonna lie, jim yelling come on trollhunters! kinda got me. i was very emotional watching this.

- i think the most in character jim moment of the whole movie was when he dropped excalibur, he didn’t have his armor, he was all alone and he decided to make a fist and fight the wizard/god with literally no weapon or means of defence. i don’t think y’all understand how much i love this dumb self sacrificing selfless boy. i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again, he is literally one of my most favourite characters of all time. i love him with all my heart.

- the armor!! wow wow wow. that was a fucking cool scene. beautiful.

- jim getting stabbed or whatever with that fucking spear thing nearly killed me.

- okay here goes... toby. my sweet toby. jim and toby’s friendship is one of my absolute favourites ever. my goodness. and toby getting in the van and going to save jim was incredible and such a toby thing to do. of course he would think of doing that.

- but like seriously... claire and douxie are so fucking powerful and they were both just like lol i guess we can’t do anything to help jim? i’m sorry what?? don’t tell me that claire wouldn’t go full on black and purple eyes and get herself up their to him. i just... i’m so bothered by the fact that they were sidelined y’all :|

- also, do not seriously try to tell me that aaarrrgghh!!! would let toby go on his own. he would have went with him. he would have followed him.

- literally as jim was falling the first thing that went through my mind was oh aaarrrgghh!!! is gonna run up and catch him.

- and while we’re on the topic of aaarrrgghh!!! why tf did they have such a build up that something was going to happen to either him or blinky for literally no reason? wtf

- aaarrrgghh!!! would not have let toby go alone!!! if he had been there, he would have protected toby, he would have saved him and none of that mess of an ending would have happened.

* ugh here’s the bit i was dreading... the ending *

- first off, i am choosing to ignore it.

- time stone? really? we’re... we’re gonna do this? literally one of the most original things i have ever watched is now - at the literal last possible minute - rip off another movie?? really?? whyyyy???

- i literally cannot express how much i hated it. it was so fucking unnecessary.

- he didn’t need to go back that far!!!

- i’m actually trying to block this out but i suppose i have to at least touch on it. jim would never ever put that burden on to toby. he just wouldn’t. before even looking at all of the other issues with toby getting the amulet, i need to say that. it just wouldn’t happen. he struggled so much with being the trollhunter, he wouldn’t put that on toby. 

- also toby literally never wanted to be the trollhunter?? he never wanted the amulet? he wanted to be a duke and have his war hammer and go on adventures with his best friend and his wingman and eat mexican food.

- okay so um i guess they all just forgot about unbecoming? cool cool cool.

- seriously though, was it not established many times that jim literally had to be trollhunter? and if he wasn’t it would be draal and everything would go to shit? did they just forget about that??

- having jim just decide to give toby the amulet literally takes away from the entire meaning behind jim getting the amulet and becoming the trollhunter. the amulet chose jim. merlin chose him. out of all of the creatures in the world, it had to be jim. he can’t just give that to toby!!

- and as much as i love toby, he would not last a day as trollhunter.

- and that’s not even beginning to mention all that jim erased by not becoming trollhunter. no father son relationship between him and blinky. they didn’t stop steve from picking on eli so no steve redemption and no creepslayerz. is he just going to allow enrique to be taken? toby will not have the same incentive to go into the darklands to save him if that’s the case. strickler will not show any sort of sentiment towards toby either. and then the big one...

- IS THAT FUCKER REALLY GOING TO ALLOW CLAIRE TO NOT GET HER POWERS??? WHAT???

- if jim isn’t trollhunter and the whole thing with enrique doesn’t happen then claire will never get her shadowstaff. let’s be real, strickler probably wouldn’t even need angor rot with toby as trollhunter. somehow i can’t see him making it that far...

- if claire doesn’t have her shadow staff then the whole thing with morgana won’t happen. she won’t destroy the shadow staff and then she will never develop her powers. would jim really rob her of that?

- okay i can’t do anymore, it’s too much for me now...

- i touched on this already in a separate post but i gotta say it again... i did not enjoy the destiny is a gift bit at the end. first of all, jim having toby find the amulet literally takes the meaning of that speech and his destiny away instanty. and second, i just could not stand hearing emile hirsch say the words that belonged to anton yelchin. it was just uncomfortable.

aaand i think i’m done. maybe i’ll have more later but i have a headache now from all of this.