#love and light to all but we aren't changing each other's mind so let's just respectfully enjoy what we like and move on

[stormyoceans]

lmao so are you ready to admit that puentalay is emotional manipulation at it worst and that puen is the worst bl character ever created or are you still gonna be delusional after how much their episodes sucked ass? i can't wait to never see jimmysea again after last twilight is gonna flop as bad as vice versa did

well to me personally as a person knowing that the man i love and that colored my life pink forever would still understand care love support and want the best for me even if i have other colors and important things in my life other than him is quite literally the epitome of romance and of an healthy relationship but to each their own!!!!!!!

[yerimbrit]

insufferable : k. chaewon

synopsis: i (21f) absolutely detest my roommate (21f). we've known each other for years, but have always had this unspoken beef?, for lack of a better word. i tried requesting a dorm change but was denied. my friend offered to switch dorms but my roommate started acting weirdly after i told her about it. what should i do?

# : pairing ! nonidol!kim chaewon x fem!reader

# : tags ! college!au, enemies to something else, crack, fluff, light angst, they're so petty it's insane, forced proximity, reader is lowk a jock, temperature is in fahrenheit cus i'm american sorry, miscommunication, arguments, kazuha owns a wii and a betta fish

# : wordcount ! 4.7k

# : warnings ! none

"you've got to be kidding me."

chaewon scoffed, looking at you with an expression that nearly matched yours which held an inexplicable amount of disgust. she rolled her suitcase into the dorm, slipping off her vans slip-ons. "shouldn't i be saying that? no one would want to room with you, hello?"

you scowled, turning back to the tv, logging into your netflix account. "you know what, whatever. i mind my own business, you mind yours. let's just make this easier on both of us, yeah?"

"for once, i agree with you."

ah, yes. kim chaewon. the bane of your existence, and also the girl you'd been beefing with since the third grade. it all started when she said that she could beat you in a race during the sports festival. then, after she lost the race, she had started stealing your juiceboxes when you weren't looking. as a result, you laughed at her crayon drawings and knocked down her block towers for revenge.

the exchanges eventually escalated into middle school and high school, your rivalry turning into petty arguments and pointed glares across the room. it only got worse when your mothers had gotten close at one particular school event, and you had to see chaewon even more than usual. to add onto that, you always saw her at your basketball games because she was the captain of the cheer team.

kim chaewon was a constant in your life. and god, was she so annoying.

"she's so annoying," you grumbled, popping a french fry into your mouth. "i mean, who the hell does pilates in the living room!?"

kazuha smiled and took a sip of her root beer. "me. it's actually kind of fun, you should try when you can't make it to the gym."

"you know she's a gym bro, it's like her second home," yunjin snorted, stealing a fry off of your plate, which effectively earned her a swat of the hand.

yunjin and kazuha were both on the basketball team with you, but kazuha was also on your high school team. you were the one who'd convinced her to join due to her height, on just her second day at school after transferring from japan. then, you and kazuha met yunjin at orientation, who was also planning on trying out for your college's team, and once you all made it, you were inseparable.

you sighed. "you're literally the one who goes with me, yunjin."

the american threw her hands up in a guilty manner, then stole another fry. "anyway, can we talk about something else? this whole time you've been talking about your roommate, personally i don't care but i hear this everyday. you even blow up the groupchat to talk about her."

"i think i've heard her name more than my own," kazuha shuddered. she drank the rest of her soda, resulting in the straw making an obnoxious sound when the cup emptied. "are you sure you aren't like, in love with her or something? i've never seen you talk about someone so much, someone other than chaewon."

you gagged. you? in love with chaewon? quite the opposite. "that's absolutely disgusting, zuha. don't ever mention me, chaewon, and in love, in the same sentence, again."

you would rather die than date kim chaewon. literally everything about her infuriated you. for example: she woke up way too early.

recalling the past few days, you grimaced. last night while you were on a game-replay-turned-movie-binge, you heard the girl start singing and working in the kitchen. and while you had to admit she did have a killer voice, it was 5 am and you still hadn't gone to sleep.

also, she spent hours in the bathroom. even after being let known that you were exhausted and sweaty from practice, she spared no pity for you. she even went as far as to take another thirty minutes just to spite you. what did she even do in there?

and every time you came back late from a party or from hanging out with yunjin and kazuha, she scolded you. it was always about having some respect for her and how irresponsible you were for not returning at an appropriate time. what was she, your mom?

it seemed chaewon just loved to scold you. be quiet at night, stop leaving your towels everywhere, can you shut up so i can study, clean up after you finish your takeout, that wasn't even the end of it.

(after a grueling practice session led by your team captain, you were just about ready to pass out on your bed. unfortunately, you couldn't do that until you showered and chaewon was in the sole bathroom that your dorm had.

"why's it so fucking hot," you whined, begrudgingly getting up to check the thermostat. as you shuffled over while wiping your forehead clear of sweat with the towel hanging around your neck, you could slowly and clearly make out the number 78.

"what the fuck."

"oh, you're back."

speak of the devil, who just came out of the shower with her hair still wet and dripping onto her white my melody tee.

you furrowed your eyebrows, trying not to focus on her appearance, her bare face that looked too good, and pointed to the thermostat. "could you," you coughed, wiping the sweat off of your nose, "care to tell me why our dorm is set to 78 degrees."

chaewon sneered. "it was cold.")

a text sucked you out of your dingy flashback. it was from chaewon, of course it was. 'it's ur turn to take out the trash this week.' how about it's your turn to take her out? with a punch, of course. yeah.

"gotta go," you stood up, letting out an unnecessary and exaggerated groan as you stretched your back muscles. "the demon is calling."

"so can i have your last fry or what?"

you scoffed at yunjin, snatching the fry and shoving it in your mouth. the blonde mumbled something under her breath that you couldn't catch, but kazuha interjected before you could flick her on the nose.

"hey, you should do us a favor and confess already!"

"i don't like her like that! or at all! i'll stop spamming you if that's what you want, just stop assuming i have a crush on chaewon."

yunjin smirked. "'cause you do?"

"'cause i don't!"

you started walking towards the exit of the diner, dreading the upcoming encounter with your roommate. and also dreading the future "chaey/n" ship texts from the two idiots. you reminded yourself to set up an anti-yunjin booth to counter her upcoming student council campaign.

"you can kiss a hundred boys in ba—"

"can you shut the fuck up? i'm trying to study," chaewon half-groaned and half-yelled as she slammed your door open.

you were currently in a sweat-inducing fight against malenia in your summonless run of elden ring, with sakura (who happened to be best friends with chaewon) screaming in your ear whenever you failed to dodge the boss's waterfowl dance. just as you narrowly avoided an attack, you started singing good luck, babe! in a panic.

because you were still fighting the boss, and because you only heard something thud, you didn't realize that your fuming roommate was standing in your room, waiting for you to notice her presence.

chaewon moved to stand next to you, hands on her hips as her patience continued to thin out. the 'you died' screen faded in on your screen and you respawned at the site of grace, whining while sakura both laughed at you and scolded you through the discord voice chat.

through the corner of your eye, you could barely see a bit of pink. huh. what was pink in your room? almost nothing, besides the pinkie pie plush that yunjin had gotten you as a joke, but that was resting on your bed and you certainly didn't recall getting anything else this week.

...until you looked up and saw the scowling face of kim chaewon.

"how did you not see me for the past ten minutes."

your mouth dropped open and you pressed the mute button on your mic before taking your headphones off. "i was busy! and why are you here anyway?"

chaewon gripped the pale pink fabric of her twice hoodie in frustration. "i came in ten minutes ago to tell you to shut up, but you didn't hear me!"

"you could've, i don't know, tapped my shoulder!?" you yelled back, pinching the bridge of your nose. how were you supposed to know she was there when you were so focused on your computer screen?

"ugh!" she turned away, exasperated. "god, i wish you out of all people weren't my roommate! i mean who even sings to chappell roan while they're being chased down!?"

upon hearing her words, it hit you. you had asked the RA minjeong for a dorm change, but she had simply told you to suck it up, or find someone willing to swap with you. and lucky for you, sakura was more than willing to do exactly that, because she hated rooming with your best pal yunjin.

"you know what, i've got just the news for you."

the shorter girl looked startled, but ever so impatient. "what?"

you pulled up your texts with the older japanese girl, revealing an agreement that she would switch with you because "yunjin keeps taking naps on our sofa and leaving crumbs everywhere u can have her," smiling in victory.

to your utter surprise, chaewon went quiet. then she bit her lip and left your room without another word.

"what the fuck?"

this week felt different. you no longer heard humming from the kitchen in the morning but heard sounds of sizzling and clashing, the fresh aroma of breakfast she cooked making its way even through the door to your room.

chaewon stopped doing pilates in the living room, she stopped telling you to clean up and instead waited for you to do it at your own pace. she stopped texting you to shut up, and she hadn't spent any more time than necessary in the bathroom besides her lengthy nightly routine.

it was weird. why was chaewon doing the exact opposite of what you complained about?

so you did the obvious and asked her about it, when she was in the living room watching something on your netflix account connected to the tv.

"hey."

she hummed, not bothering to turn around and face you. what the hell was her problem?

you strided to the side of the couch, scoffing when she didn't pay even an ounce of attention to you. unfortunately, that only pissed you off more. you grabbed the remote and paused the episode of whatever drama she was on.

the girl whipped her head around, eventually meeting your eyes. "what are you doing!?"

your roommate took her dramas very seriously. so of course, this resulted in an agitated chaewon. well, at least she was looking at you.

"no," you started, "what are you doing?"

she furrowed her brow, crossing her arms. "i don't know what you're talking about."

seriously? she still wanted to play dumb? you crossed your arms, mirroring her posture. "you know damn well what i'm talking about. you're acting so," you threw your hands up in a mocking manner, "weird. you're not trying to piss me off anymore. which, in turn, is pissing me off even more!"

"are you a masochist, by any chance?" she ridiculed, stifling her laughter.

"no! can you just answer my question?"

chaewon scowled, standing up from her spot on the couch and walking right in front of you. there was an angry red blush settling on her ears, and she had to look up at you. it would be a lie to say it wasn't the least bit cute.

her finger pressed on your chest, forcefully pushing you back by half a step. "i've been acting nice for you, and this is how you respond? can't you be grateful for once in your sorry life!?"

"well i'm sorry that i'm weirded the fuck out when you're always so pissy! can you imagine my reaction when you suddenly start acting like an angel? good thing you don't need to imagine, it's right in front of you," you stepped closer to her, gritting your teeth.

as you looked down you could see slight eyebags messily covered by makeup, and the strands of hair sticking out after she haphazardly tied it into a bun. you almost wanted to reach out and at least move her bangs out of her face.

on the other hand, chaewon was seething. "you know what?" she hissed, glaring at you with such killer intent that it made you shrink back. "i'm glad you're moving out. sakura would be so much better than you."

her anger reflecting in her teary eyes had reached you, yet there was a hint of softness somewhere in them. you sighed in defeat. "...fine."

"fine? hey, wait! i'm not done with you, damn it!"

without waiting for an answer, you grabbed your phone and keys, walking out the door while ignoring the shorter girl's questions and yells.

you found yourself in kazuha's apartment. the basketball player lived by herself, not counting the super blue betta fish she kept in the living room. jinsoul—the betta, you mean—was trained and was even taught to do tricks, like following your finger across the aquarium, swimming through hoops, et cetera.

"so you mean to tell me, you just walked out after fighting with her and let yourself in with my spare key?" kazuha yawned out, dropping a few pellets into the tank. a wide grin spread across her lips as she watched the fish eat.

sometimes it felt like kazuha believed that jinsoul (again, the fish) was her real daughter; it would be laughable if she wasn't so dead serious about it. the topic was always brought up by either you or yunjin when you were over, but was always deflected by the girl.

you groaned, making yourself comfortable on her linen couch. there was a barely noticeable stain in the corner where yunjin had spilled her buldak noodles, to which she apologized profusely and brought over a dozen cleaning products to get rid of it.

safe to say, it was successful, since she, for some reason, already had these products in her car and rushed over to get them.

the three of you were the only ones who knew about the stain. oftentimes you'd forget it was there, but the initial sight of it would crawl out from the back of your mind.

"at least i didn't come back empty-handed. i got you one of those overpriced parfaits from the café down the block," you picked at a stray hangnail, staring at the view of the foliage outside of the window.

kazuha rolled her eyes, suppressing a grin but ultimately failing. she made her way over to you with the parfait, moving your legs so she could sit down. a contented sigh made its way out her mouth after she took the first bite.

her hand reached for the tv remote, pressing the power button and switching to a certain hdmi channel. "i know what would cheer you up."

she reached over to press another button on an old, white console, then pulling out two rectangular controllers. it took a while, but soon you could hear the fan of the wii roar to life and see the familiar opening display on the tv.

it didn't take you long to realize your teammate's intention in booting up the wii. your eyes widened in horror as you watched kazuha push the small coffee table to a corner and select the top left channel which showed the wonders of hell, and your worst fear: just dance 4.

"zuha, you can't be serious."

the girl only hummed and took her last bite of the parfait, which disappeared within seconds. jesus, sometimes you forgot she was practically a vacuum when it came to food.

now, you had no way out of this; you were only able to whine when you got handed the controller, and only able to watch while kazuha scrolled to what was arguably one of the hardest songs: disturbia. and as much as you admired rihanna you could not do this without cracking your hips at least once.

➤➤ fast forward

kazuha struck the final pose without breaking a sweat—completely opposite of you: collapsed against the front of the couch, still fighting your demons after an exhausting four minutes.

the outro of the song, despite having faded away for a few moments, echoed in your head like a haunting wail. your t-shirt was disgustingly drenched in sweat, and you might've passed out if not for the glass of pity-water handed to you by the outdo-er.

"i'm pooped," you groaned, covering your eyes with your arm. kazuha giggled and took a seat next to you, ruffling your already unkempt hair with a free hand. her other hand was holding a glass of water for herself.

"that couldn't have been worse than coach kang's laps. you play center, yet queen rihanna gets you sweating more than a game against our rival school."

"leave me alone," you whined, dragging out the 'e' at the end. "i just got fought with a baby cheetah."

kazuha made a teasing 'oooh' sound, wiggling her eyebrows and making you push her by the shoulder. "you even have a nickname for her?"

"piss off, nakamura," you pinched your the bridge of your nose, "but seriously, that shit drained me. both disturbia and kim chaewon. i just don't understand why she started doing the opposite of what she used to."

"hmm."

"i mean, the look on her face at some point—it was different, unreadable. i couldn't tell what she was feeling. she said i couldn't be grateful for her nice behavior, but is it really my fault? am i the asshole here? ...hey, are you listening?" you blew a strand of hair out of your face, turning to look at kazuha who was rubbing her chin like some sort of psychic.

she scrunched up her eyebrows and cracked her knuckles, hesitating before clearing her throat. "you probably won't believe me, but..."

"but what?" you wrapped your arms around your knees, bringing them closer so you could rest your chin on them.

the other girl sighed and stretched her legs out. "okay, wait. when did this start?"

"after i told her i was planning on switching dorms... wait."

that's right. chaewon had started acting strange the day after she barged into your room, but you had only started noticing two days after, coming home from the gym and needing something you had left in the bathroom.

(the shorter girl came out immediately after you knocked and requested for her to hurry it up. you were faced with a chaewon with her hair still dripping wet and a baby blue bathrobe wrapped around her torso, bringing an involuntary blush to your cheeks. to your surprise, she merely nodded at you and walked into her room without a word.)

"was she trying to make amends...? or convince me to stay?"

"you might want to ask her yourself, y/n."

and as if on cue, your phone buzzed several times in succession. blindly reaching for the device on top of the couch, you squinted through the bright wallpaper to see over 20 notifications from your roommate.

'31 missed calls and 50+ unread messages from kim chaewon.'

you frantically grabbed your keys and scrambled to your feet, ignoring the soreness in your muscles from the earlier dancing session. it was damn near midnight. kazuha stood up to open the door for you, and you thanked her and left in a rush.

you had to go home.

but by the time the adrenaline rush wore off and you'd let yourself into the dorm, your legs had given out and you passed out against the door.

falling, falling, falling.

there were cats falling with you, into the void. there was no start, and thus there was no end. you were only able to look up, seeing countless cats coming out of nowhere and not making a sound.

while you loved cats, there was no reason they should be falling into, well, nothing. then you saw a figure diving towards you with their hand out. you instinctively reached out for them, their face slowly getting clearer as they inched closer.

your hands met. they locked their fingers with yours, and slowly pulled you up with them. there seemed to have been a portal opened up at the "start".

the figure brought you to the portal, making the two of you float just below it. they leaned in and pressed a chaste kiss to your cheek, and flashed a smile.

and just for a moment, they donned the appearance of your darling roommate.

it smelled like coffee.

you didn't remember moving to the couch. your blanket was draped over you and the stupid pinkie pie plush was tucked in with you, and your muscles were extremely sore.

remnants of the night prior flashed in your mind, and you rubbed your eyes. what happened?

chaewon walked to the door, slipping her sneakers on and leaning over the couch to peek at you. not realizing you were awake, she jumped back with a yelp.

"i... i made you coffee and some pancakes for you. they're on the, um. counter. bye—"

you desperately stopped her by the wrist, half-kneeling on the couch. "thank you, can we talk? when you get back?"

the shorter girl had a look of uncertainty in her eyes, but ultimately nodded. the door shut quietly behind her, leaving you alone in the dorm.

reluctantly, you stepped off the couch to go check the breakfast she made you. the faint aroma of the sweets intensified as you got closer to the kitchen, bringing your mood down.

the plate was covered by a paper towel, and on top of it had a hello kitty themed sticky note.

"y/n,

i'm sorry for yesterday. i want to talk later, if that's ok. also, the butter is in the top left of the fridge and i left the maple syrup on the counter.

- chaewon"

you chuckled, releasing a breath you didn't know you were holding in.

this wasn't what you were expecting to wake up to.

you sat across from chaewon at the dining table, both of you waiting for the other to start. you had woken up just before noon, went to the one class that you had today and returned to the dorms after grabbing a few snacks from the convenience store. chaewon hadn't come home until around four, so you took it upon yourself to study in the meantime.

the jasmine tea that you poured for the two of you was steaming hot, releasing clouds of translucency up into the hanging ceiling light above.

"i'm—"

"so—"

you cleared your throat, gesturing towards your roommate as a sign for her to continue. she traced the rim of the ceramic and bit her lip.

"i'm sorry," she started, "i know my behavior as of recently is conflicting."

"it is," you frowned, "but continue."

chaewon lifted the teacup to her lips, sipping slowly. the clink of the coaster resounded throughout the entire dorm. "we've fought for as long as i remember. and we became roommates, and we fell into a routine. it's normal for us to be petty."

it was normal for you to be petty with chaewon. it was like breathing air, drinking water. no matter where you were, as long as she was there then you would hate each other to the ends of the earth.

"when you... suggested a change in that routine, i panicked. i didn't want to get rid of what was normal."

it was a more than a few months into the year. what you and chaewon had built was unmistakably a routine. one that was part of your everyday life, but one that you could not see yourself without. it didn't start at the beginning of the year, but on the day that you had beaten her in a race.

the look on her face was one you couldn't forget. eight-year-old chaewon looked close to tears before she ran away and stole your juicebox the next day. and it transformed into something else, and something more, and whatever was going on now.

you took a moment to appreciate the floral scent of the tea and sipped from your own cup. "i'm sorry too."

"even though it's kind of our brand, i shouldn't have blown up at you like that. i mean," you sighed, "you were going out of your way to be nice.

chaewon took another sip. meeting your eyes with a softened gaze. "so i guess this means truce?"

you smiled. "truce. but i am curious..."

"about what?"

"i know that wasn't the only reason you didn't want me to switch dorms. tell me the other reason."

the girl gulped, averting her eyes. her mind trailed back to a conversation she had just earlier, during a meal she had with sakura in between classes.

("well, she has a point. why don't you want to switch? you know i wouldn't mind, rooming with jennifer sucks," the older girl stated, lifting a few strands of ramen noodles with her chopsticks.

chaewon frowned, taking a bite of a small piece of karaage. she had finished her own bowl of ramen a few seconds ago. "you call her jennifer now? also, i don't know. i just feel bad for what i did, even though it was mutual. i didn't want to lose that familiarity."

"and?"

"and, it's because she's been a part of my life since forever, whether i like it or not."

sakura huffed, slurping up the last of her ramen and setting her chopsticks on top of the bowl. "uh huh. but that doesn't explain why you spent thirty minutes trying to carry her to the couch, brought the one blanket that you don't let anyone touch, not even me or eunchae when she comes over."

"and on top of that, you tucked her in with a my little pony plushie. and then proceeded to make breakfast and coffee for her, without making any for yourself. that's why you're making me pay for your ramen."

the younger girl was taken aback, rendered speechless. she knew what she did, but hearing it out of someone else's mouth was humbling.

the japanese crossed her legs and clasped her fingers together. "you know what you haven't realized, but almost everyone else has?"

"what?")

"i'm in love with you."

you yawned, taking a sip of coffee and stepping out from the kitchenette in your shared dorm with yunjin. the blonde was sitting on the couch with her notebook in hand, probably thinking of lyrics for her next song. after performing at a local festival, you and a few others urged her to continue her music career, and now she was taking the advice seriously.

she seemed to have noticed your presence, turning around and grinning. "hey. your girlfriend's waiting for you outside. are you going out again today?"

you coughed, "chaewon is not my girlfriend! and yeah, i'm taking her to that nice restaurant by the beach, the one that our team went to last time."

"she's not your girlfriend as of right now. how long are you going to make her wait?" yunjin stood up, walking you to the entryway and tossing you your keys, which you caught and tucked into the pocket of your basketball shorts. it was almost summer, only the beginning of june, but it was already impossibly hot.

checking your other pocket for your wallet, you slipped on your sneakers. "i don't know. maybe until the end of today. or maybe next month."

the taller girl sighed, glancing at you worriedly. "maybe you just need a day to reflect on yourself."

you reached for the doorknob. "maybe."

a/n : this is an apology for scrapping the other chaewon fic i had 😁 also crazy drops soon and the chorus has been stuck in my head??

[katakaluptastrophy]

Continuing to think about the horror of what happens to John, and the horrors of love...

When Alecto has first been created, she says to him "I picked you to change, and this is how you repay me?" and "What have you done to me?"

They're heartbreaking questions she has every right to ask, but there's something awful and ironic about them too. Because John also might have asked "what have you done to me?"

It's easy to get distracted by the cartoonish awfulness of John's own narration: "talk about police abuse", "come on, love. Guys as careful as me don't have accidents," "love a working tram system." But all of these comments come after moments where John has unwittingly come into proximity with violent death, an experience he repeatedly likens to having drugs forcibly injected into him; an omniscient, dream-like, out of body experience that seems to propel him forward through his basest impulses. The first time this happens, he's brought back from "the verge of something insane" by being shaken violently by P-. Lines like these aren't revealing John's diabolical plotting. They're a man who would rather own atrocities as premeditated than admit that he was losing his grip.

The second is when he encounters the soul of the earth. His human mind makes contact with the incoherent, furious soul of a planet. In any other context, this would be straightforwardly Lovecraftian. And everything he describes after that is full of elipses, jumbled, and detached. His friends are shot by gun-toting cultists and he says it was like a dream.

Hearing the earth screaming, feeling his friends' deaths under his skin like a drug, he might well have asked "what have you done to me?"

Alecto said to him, "I picked you to change, and this is how you repay me?" But as everything collapses, John says:

"I thought you were going to take me, somehow. Purge me. Use me as an instrument. But you didn't say anything...I was babbling, Show me. Come on. I'm ready. You kept screaming and screaming..."

John has spent months becoming something terrifying, an entity with yellow eyes and uncanny powers. He's discovered that death has an overwhelming impact on him that he cannot fully control. Everyone was relying on him to do something. And he did so many things: well-meaning things and stupid things and things that were lashing out in rage and frustration. Hundreds of people have died because of him. His friends have died because of him. Surely, surely there was a point to this. Surely there was meaning. Surely whatever did this to him, made him into this, had a greater plan.

But there is no plan. There is no great revelation. He tries to hurt the earth, to provoke some kind of answer, but the screaming continues. And when P dies, the person who snapped him out of it the last time, John lets go and the whole world dies.

John is kneeling on the grass vomiting up dirt and tearing out his own ribs, saying "there was still too much of me that was just a human being...", trying to swallow the soul of the earth. And by the end, the one shred he has to hold onto is a memory of playing with a doll as a child. That, and his anger...

The earth tried to reach out in the only way it could, amidst its incoherent suffering. And John tried to use the abilities it gave him, but he was only human. Fallible and proud and angry.

She said, "I still love you." And the horror; the horror of love, the horror of this story, is that to begin with they did this to each other.

To be clear: I don't mean to diminish the awfulness or the very specific forms that John's violence against Alecto takes, and continues to take across the story. I don't mean to excuse his own self-mythologisation. I certainly don't think he's blameless for the decisions he made and the agenda he pursued. But if there's one thing that happens over and over again in TLT, it's that the horror of love is not a one-way street.

And I wonder, in light of what we now know about the permeability of the soul, quite where John ends and Alecto begins. And when that blurring began...

[sosa2imagines]

Thief

Warning- Fluff

Bucky had a nightmare in the middle of the night. He got up panting, gasping for air. He tried to sleep again, but gave up after trying for few minutes and went to the kitchen. He leaned against the counter, but after a few minutes later, he heard footsteps. Bucky turned around and saw Y/n in her cute pajamas come down the stairs. Y/n had joined the avengers just a year after Bucky.

Their relationship was simple in the beginning. Just the formal 'hellos' and 'how are yous'. But as time went by, and being on missions together, they became friends, the more they got to know each other, more barriers were dropped. They became best of close friends, joined to the hip, inseparable even by Steve. But there was one barrier though. They both were dancing, around their feelings.

As soon as she turned on the light, she looked at him "Are you okay?" Bucky sighed, "I'm fine just another nightmare", Bucky said, as his mind raced with thoughts of his past. That was another thing, that didn't changed for him, his nightmares. No matter how much Steve, you or anyone helped, it was hard for him to deal with.

You knew about his nightmares and how hard it was for him to deal with. You always came up with a different approach to help him and he was always grateful for that. So seeing him hesitate a bit, you came up with a plan. "Have a seat, I know something that will help you relax." Bucky looked at you confused but did as told with a curious smirk. He sat down and waited for you to do what you want.

You brought him cookies and milk with a smile on your face. Bucky was delighted, seeing the cookies and milk. The one thing he did looked forward to after a nightmare, was you coming up with different ideas to make him feel good.

Bucky took some of the cookies and milk and started to eat. "This is good...", He said after taking the first bite. "Thank. you Y/n" "Most welcome" you smiled.

Bucky looked away with a sigh "You don't have to stay" he says, feeling a bit uncomfortable about his nightmare saga, not wanting to disturb you. But soon he felt relief wash over him, as he looks at you, still sitting next to him eating cookies and smiling.

"You are stubborn, aren't you?" He says, feeling comfortable with having you around.

"Of course, I'm!! you should have known by now!" you chime with a grin on your face.

Bucky smiles and eat the rest of the cookies, while, you both sit in comfortable silence for a few minutes. Then he speaks again, looking at you. "These cookies were good" "Never underestimate good cookies!" He looks over at you and nods his head. "Well it's getting kind of late so we should go to bed, thank you Y/n..." He says, getting up from the chair. You were kinda upset, that he is going back, but you knew, it was important for him to sleep. "Umm..ok Bucky"

"If you don't mind I would like to do this again" He suggests, blushing a bit. As soon as he said that, you look at him with all the happiness inside of you. "Yes, of course I would love that." He smiles, god that hormones breaking smile! "Good night, doll"

Some nights later, Bucky woke up again, in the middle of the night. The nightmare still fresh in his mind. He sits up in bed and let out a sigh. He checks the clock and notice that it's 3am. He looks around the room, wondering if anyone is still up or a specific, someone is up. That's when he heard noises outside.

He goes out to see. He looks around, and notices Y/n in the common room eating something on the couch. "Y/n, doll?" he whispers, as he gets closer to you. "Hey, wassup?" you ask and Bucky shakes his head, and looks at you "Are you okay? What are you doing outside this late?" he asks, voice barely above a whisper. "I can't sleep..." you shrug casually. He nods in understanding "Me neither you know why... can't focus because of it."

You gave him a smile, you knew how some nightmares can be really disturbing for him. You needed to think of something different, to help him. That's when you come up with an idea. "I'm a thief by the way, night profession"

"You steal at night?" He asks quietly, with a puzzled look on his face, panic evident in his voice.

"Yup, being an avenger, no one can doubt me." "What do you steal?" He asks, his curiosity peaking up. "Your tensions and worries" you answer with a smile and his heart melts. He was a little startled at first, but then he let out a soft chuckle, his feelings for you rising up. "You managed to do that" he smiles, sitting next to you on the couch.

"Did it really work?" "Well...I'm not feeling tense anymore as I was before" he says giving you the hormones blasting smile. "Are you really a thief" "Yes! I'm really a thief" you tell him proudly.

"Well if you're a thief..." He pauses for a moment, then gets a mischievous look on his face. "Why don't you steal away my heart?" He grins, as he looks at you with raised eyebrows, making you blush. This was the perfect opportunity for him, to work on his feelings and to see if you reciprocate. And it would not be awkward, if nothing happened.

He smiles and tilts his head to the side, "Well I'm waiting" He says with a sly smile, "When are you gonna steal it doll?" Okay, hold on you were totally not prepared for this! It's not like you didn't want to, but man he was being bold and brave. Damn that panty wetting smirk. "You are awake! That's not how stealing works!!"

Bucky rolls his eyes with a smirk on his face. "You know what I mean..." He says with a smile and then he glances over at the clock, noticing that it is getting late. "Well it's getting late we should go back to sleep..." He gives up, thinking you might not be interested, but the blush on your cheeks, what if? He pauses for a moment, contemplating what to do? Then he smirks, "But before I go I want to do this..." He looks over at you slowly approaching, leaning in to kiss you. You were surprised, but soon melts into the kiss. The kiss was soft yet passionate. You silently touch his heart while kissing, placing your hand firm. "I stole your heart." you mumble in between the kiss.

He puts his hand on top of yours. The kiss was passionate and he can feel his heart racing, fluttering in his chest. "Oh my god! You...actually did it." He says laughing softly.

"It's mine now." "It is yours"

[calciumcryptid]

Here is a collection of my thoughts about We Are ships sex lives because I, an asexual, have them for some reason and need to get them out- (What is We Are doing to me?)

TANFANG

According to novel fans, Tan is the top and Fang is a power bottom; however, the show implies Fang is the top. This means the correct answer is they are switches, but we knew that.

Tan loves to get romantic with Fang. Rose petals, scented candles, whether in the bathroom or in the bedroom Tan commits to the most tender of sex. It is canon Tan does the come hither motion, and as much as Fang puts up a fight he adores it.

Though some days Fang gets into his head about the balance of their relationship and encourages Tan to take. Sometimes, Fang just wants Tan to use his dick like a joystick, and Tan is more than happy to jump into his lap.

Their relationship started from mutual punching, and their canon (implied) sex scene has them wrestling. Therefore, they are the roughest couple in bed. They absolutely have a mutual marking kink shown through hickies and flat-out bites. Some flavor of BDSM, though they (or any of the couples) aren't hardcore with it.

Aftercare game is strong with these two, and they preen at being the one to take care of the other with their mutual taking care of each other kink.

QTOEY

They have sex but in a very (demi)aro(demi)ace way if that makes sense? They have a code in their phone for when one of them is horny and it is "Draw me like one of your Thai boys" (Toey came up with it, Q couldn't think of anything better).

When they do have sex in their own private enclosure and not in Peem's childhood home, it is very artistic. Q has painted Toey's nudes (the only nudes of his boyfriend he has), and he hung it up in their bedroom (fortunately, they aren't the hangout house so they don't have to mad dash to hide it). Q has painted Toey's skin as foreplay, change my mind (you can't).

Before the nudes were painted, Q joked Toey should get dolled up for it and something inside Toey pinged. Since then, Q will teasingly call Teoy "doll" alongside his usual "muse". Their closet has a section dedicated to lingerie (honestly, most of the time they don't even fuck in them. Q just likes drawing and painting tasteful nudes of his boyfriend, and Toey likes being Q's model).

Regardless, the actual action is full of reverence and body worship and Q insists on fucking Toey in natural light because it makes him look more gorgeous than he already is. They have the weakest aftercare game, but considering the couples they're up against it isn't a surprise. Most points are deducted for Q vowing to never paint Toey again as he scrubs his boyfriend's skin. Toey giggles knowing he'll convince Q otherwise.

PHUMPEEM

It doesn't matter what the novel/series says, Phum is a bottom. He wants to be in Peem's lap and monopolize all his attention. Riding is his favorite sex position. The man wants to be railed by his hot artist boyfriend, and can we blame him? (Peem really likes it when Phum is on his back because Phum's hair is a national treasure.)

They do have some pet play going on. It isn't super hardcore, but it is there. After all, Peem canonically calls Phum "puppy" and I think Phum should get to call Peem "kitten" (turnabout is fair play).

There is a reason I placed PhumPeem's section after QToey, and it is because Phum was the person Toey asked to go lingerie shopping with him (lets be real, Toey is not going on his own the first time and Phum is the least embarrassing option). Phum comes home with a few things of his own, and Peem is relentless with the pillow princess teasing as he rails his boyfriend.

PhumPeem are tied with TanFang on best aftercare game, because both couples have a mutual taking care of each other kink.

Oh, right, they have sex on the beach at some point. Also, they are known for fucking in any body of water they can (which wasn't what Peem meant by the water being his safe place, but he's not arguing).

CHAINPUN

They are the kinkiest couple here.

They may not be the most consistently kinky, but they are the most varied. All Pun has to do is bat his eyelashes at Chain, and Chain will indulge Pun in his latest fantasy. Out of all of them, they are the most likely to commit to actual roleplay scenarios. The most often one, of course, being a doctor one (though Chain will make sure to remind Pun he isn't that type of doctor). It doesn't matter though because Pun finds him immensely sexy in the coat.

Although they do get up to roleplay, sometimes Chain wants to spend his time adoring Pun. The body worship is off the charts with these two, and Chain makes sure to love and worship every inch of Pun. Pun loves it, and preens under the adoration though Chain can be torturous in his foreplay.

Soft top Chain, but we all know that.

Honestly, there isn't a couple in We Are that doesn't go all out for aftercare. ChainPuns includes cuddling and snuggling under the covers, and Chain ensures Pun is fed.

[oneawkwardwriter]

spencer reid - meddle about

thats all <3

Meddle About

pairing: Spencer Reid x Hotchner!fem!reader warnings/tags: canon divergent ages (just pretend spencer is old enough to be about a decade younger than hotch, alright? We aren't doing any age gaps here), explicit? like smut-ish, alluding to smth steamy (idfk I'm not good at shit like this, alright?), cursing, pov change after the special divider summary: Hotch's younger cousin comes to visit, only not just for him a/n: first of all, absolutely love that song. Second of all, I have to admit that my motivation was very lacking while writing this and it feels like a total flop, but here you go, hope you like it wc: 0.6k

You were seated in the lobby of the BAU, reading a book as you waited on Aaron to pick you up.

Despite the age gap of nearly a decade between the two of you, you had managed to maintain one of those rare bonds ever since you were young. Now that you had moved to DC for work, having this connection had come in useful.

The door opens, but when you look up from your book, Derek and Spencer walk out instead.

"Oh hi, guys," You say as you stand up and walk over to them, your gaze staying on Spencer for a little longer than needed.

"Hey Y/n, it's been a while since you were here," Derek remarks as he pulls you into a hug.

"Yeah, I know," You respond, stepping out of his embrace after a few moments. "How have you guys been, aside from all the catching bad guys?"

"Oh, you know, been doing just fine," Spencer answers, his eyes not leaving yours for a second. "So, what brings you back in town?"

"Got a job not that far from here," You say, "And until I can find a place of my own, Aaron kindly offered to let me stay with him."

At that moment, Aaron walked through the door. "Ah, you're already here. Ready to go?"

As you nod, Derek quips, "You know, if you ever need to get away from your cousin, you know who can call."

"Yeah, Penelope," You quip back, flashing him a smirk before walking off with Aaron. You look back once more, shooting Spencer a glance just for him to understand, then turn back again.

As you look back once more, Spencer can read the message in your gaze.

Meet me at midnight.

You were rarely in DC, and when you were, you were his. Spencer rarely got possessive, but ever since one faithful night a few years ago, it was safe to say he had become besotted with you.

Every time you were in town, the two of you had met up late at night, spending your time with solely each other for as long as you could. There were times where either one of you had wanted to come forward and just tell the others, but you came to the same conclusion every time:

It would only make things more difficult.

Yet when midnight rolls around, Spencer sits in his car with the headlights off, softly smiling when he sees you sneak out of the house.

"Hey-" is all you manage to get out before your words get muffled by the feeling of his lips against yours. As if by instinct, your hands move up into his hair as they softly thread through the strands.

Breaking away for air, Spencer looks at you as if you're the only thing on his mind. "Don't you ever stay away that long again," He whispers breathlessly against your lips.

"I take it you missed me then?" You respond teasingly, unable to repress a light smirk from forming on your lips.

Spencer lightly groans, pulling you in for another kiss, this time a little deeper. "You've already got me down on my knees," He says, his breath still heavy, "No need to be such a fucking tease."

As if to give you a taste of your own medicine, he pulls away and starts driving. Although he keeps his eyes on the road and doesn't exchange a word, his fingers draw slow circles on your thigh.

When he can feel you looking at him, he simply smirks. "Save it for when we get back to my house."

© This work belongs to @oneawkwardwriter, please do not copy this work to any other site or claim it as your own. Reblogs are allowed and appreciated!

Taglist: @unofficialxmarvelfreak (to join the taglist, simply leave a comment or message me!)

[gyeomsweetgyeom]

[6:14 pm] 

The Christmas party was in full swing. The house was filled with all the familiar faces of your friends, holiday music playing in the background. Some people were busy building gingerbread houses, others were decorating sugar cookies, and some were decorating ornaments. It was a fun night filled with fun, nostalgic activities.

You opened the door with a bright smile to welcome BestFriend!Mark in, "Finally! I've been waiting for you to show up. Come in, come in."

He walked in with a shy smile, cheeks red from the cold outside while he hung his coat. "You never responded to my text, so I just brought some more cookie stuff. Some premade mix and frosting. Oh, and some sprinkles," he told you while he followed you further into the warm house.

"Perfect! I didn't expect it to be as popular, people love cookies," you reply softly, leading Mark to the kitchen with his hand in yours.

He stared at your joined hands, willing his heart rate to slow down while praying his face wasn't as red as he felt. He knew it was red, he just hoped he could blame it on the cold if anyone asked.

Mark managed to occupy himself for a few hours, eating and mingling with friends. He created an ornament that had unintentionally resembled one of the Christmas gifts he made his mom in early elementary school.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw you slip out the back door by yourself. He cocked his head in confusion, sneaking out behind you unnoticed. He shivered at the change in temperature, "Are you okay?"

You turned to face him, surprised that anyone had followed you out. You smiled, though it looked tired, "I'm fine."

He wrapped an arm around your shoulder, pulling you into the warmth of his body, "You can tell me. We're best friends aren't we?"

You sighed, your breath coming out in a warm cloud, "It's tiring hosting."

"But you're doing an amazing job. Everyone is having a great time," he rubbed his hand up and down your arm.

You laid your head on his shoulder, sighing once more, "Thanks Mark, I just needed to take a breath."

You both stood outside for a few more minutes, ignoring the temperature in favor of just enjoying each other's company. The silence was comforting and it felt good to be in his arms.

"Should we head inside now?" Mark asked softly.

You nod with a smile, turning to head inside. You tug on the door, but it doesn't budge. You tug harder, still no movement, "It's not opening."

"What? I didn't lock it, does it usually stick?" Mark asks, joining you to tug on the handle.

A friend pops up from the other side of the glass with a mischievous smile. She points to the top of the sliding glass door with an excited grin.

You and Mark look up slowly, catching sight of a bundle of mistletoe. Your eyes widen, looking at her with a look that screamed help. "I'll let you in when you guys kiss!" You hear her from the other side of the glass.

"No! It's cold. Let us in!" You both argue, pulling pointlessly on the handle of the door.

She crosses her arms and steps away from the door. She clearly has no intentions of opening the door until you both kiss.

"We don't have to. We can find another way to get in," Mark reassures.

"Mark we're upstairs, I don't mind," you take a deep breath, "I like you, Mark- a lot. I have for a few years now, I wouldn't mind kissing you. I understand if you don't feel the same way."

Mark's head snaps in your direction with wide eyes, "You like me?"

You cover your face with your hands, embarrassment taking over you while you nod, "For like 2 years now."

He gently pulls your hands from your face, looking you in your eyes, "I like you too." Your eyes light up a bright smile taking over your face. Mark gulps, "Can I kiss you?"

You nod, a shaky breath leaving you before Mark leans in slowly. His lips stop a centimeter away from yours, his warm breath falling over your face for just a second before his soft lips touch your own.

You feel a bolt of lightning hit your body, fireworks going off, tingles from your head to your toes. You feel years of yearning and pent up feelings through the kiss while your lips move against each other's. His hands are surprisingly warm as they cup your face, he pulls away breathlessly his thumb caressing your cheek, "wow."

You bite your lip, trying to suppress your excited smile, "Yeah, that was great."

He continues caressing your cheek, his eyes slowly falling shut and leaning forward once more when you hear the door open, "That's enough, you guys can come in now."

-

a/n: LOVED this one!!!!!

[psychelis-new]

pick a pile: "What do you need to learn now?"

take a breath and choose the photo/number that calls you the most to read on a probable lesson you should learn about at this moment. thanks Anon for suggesting this

don’t take the reading too seriously. only take what resonates with you and leave the rest. if you're not called by any pile, let this reading slid as it may not hold messages for you. if you're called by more than one, there may be messages in each of those piles.remember that is a general reading and some things may not resonate with you. energies can change and readings are based on present ones (as you read); you're always in charge of your life.

(photos found on unsplash)

- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

1 2 3

- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

pile 1

You need to learn to let go, and be more carefree and "childish", as in enjoying more. You tend to block yourself maybe? Or you aren't much in contact with your inner child despite they really want to talk with you. I think, similarly to pile 3 but in a different way, you need to take a pause and totally unwind. Refocus on what's important (you)... and just enjoy. Think about the present too, and again, be more carefree and don't always be so serious or overthinking that much. Be also kind with yourself. I think you need a vacation, maybe going somewhere new, where you can be yourself (?). You may be feeling judged too much by others, so you try to act/pretend to be more serious/adult, but you don't have to. You can keep playing with your inner child, you can dance under the sun and enjoy your days and breaks too. Actually, you have to. When you are on a break you cannot think about what you have to do once you're done: you need to really unwind and focus on your break. Try doing something you enjoyed as a child, be it painting or dancing or cooking or anything you're passionate about. You don't have to become amazing at it, you only need to like that and to let it help you distress.

song: love me tender | elvis presley

- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

pile 2

You need to learn to see behind. "And beyond" too, I heard. You may need to do some shadow work or you're doing that now. I think you're being hit with how harsh it all is for you. But not all that is harsh and painful is there to hurt you or to "punish" you. You're not Universe's favorite target, don't ever think this. It's just that there's a need for some darkness too in life, there cannot only be all light. And don't say "as if I had ever experienced light..." try to focus and remember: our minds want us to concentrate on what's bad, they want us to remember that alone (also to keep us on alert: in the past, remembering what was wrong may have saved your life, but these days... not that much, right?), so we keep memory of that side much more than what's good in our life. Think about your everyday life, how a small negative little thing can make your day so bad, even if before that happened, everything seemed so cool and bright. I think you need to balance more yourself and how you see darkness and light. How you react to the dark part of life (which yes, it's part of life as the bright side). Don't let negative stuff (especially the ones you have not much control over or that aren't so important) get the best of you.

song: desperate | ashlynn malia

- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

pile 3

You need to learn to relax, to let go things, especially those that don't serve you anymore and that you can't control. You need to take time for yourself. And to give time to yourself, especially if you're healing something: probably you've been working for a lot on a matter but you see no huge difference with the past (still, I'd suggest you to be more objective about this and realize even the smallest difference), don't be impatient, give yourself a break. Healing is coming to you, you don't have to rush to "an end", cause healing won't totally end. You will learn how to deal with your triggers so that they won't hurt you and be more in control of yourself and your emotions. This is what healing is about for the most part. You totally need to be more patient and to communicate more with yourself and about yourself to others. You also need time to dream, or to let yourself dream a little more. Be more positive and light. Take a breath and slow down, especially your mind, cause I think at times it may run 1000 miles for hours (if that's even possible).

song: got it in you | banners (please check this song lyrics cause I'm sure it holds messages for you, especially if you feel very down or judged or anything)

[merbear25]

Hi, I've been having the biggest Hetalia brainrot ever...

Sooo, even if you aren't taking uh.. Recommendations or things, I just wanna swoosh this idea into your mind just incase you feel like writing Hetalia content...

Just a warning that this is like a reader x Hetalia post, so, just be warned.

The Allies or Axis are getting frisky with the reader.. And suddenly the reader like pushes them away and says 'We can't, I didn't shave.'

You get it? My brainrot? Yeah...

You don't have to write this I'm embarrassed to even request it it's stupid I know

Hello! No need to be embarrassed about sending this in. I don't mind in the slightest. I think we've all had these types of what ifs. I decided to put them on a scale since I personally can't see any of them really caring about extra hair. I hope you like what I've written for you. 💜💜

CW: highly suggestive, gn!reader, fluff, headcanons/scenarios

Remains confident

France: Whether or not you shaved wouldn’t make a difference to him. He adored you either way. Showering you with compliments and affection was a given, but it was amplified when you lacked confidence. Besides, this could lead to a more intimate setting. If you let him, he’d like to do it for you.

Italy: He wasn’t sure what the big deal was. The two of you had already seen each other’s bodies, so how would a bit of extra hair change anything? He reassured you, telling you how beautiful you were and laid soft kisses on you to help ease your embarrassment.

Russia: A twinge of protectiveness came over him when he saw your flushed cheeks. Smiling at you sweetly, he went to hold you. He whispered how lovely you were and that such trivial things wouldn’t change how he saw you. Light touches and soft kisses accompanied his kind words.

America: Blinking at you, he kind of cocked his head. He wondered where this shyness was coming from but didn’t want to rock the boat by asking about it. There was a lot of reassurance that he didn’t care and that you were desirable either way.

China: Not having realized something like that would make you so cautious to proceed, he was kind of taken aback. He didn’t see a reason to be put off by something as natural as body hair, but your reluctance made him feel oddly nervous. Explaining to you how none of that should matter was all he could really think of to help ease your worries.

Germany: He couldn’t care less about you not having shaved. There were countless times when he wasn’t exactly trimmed and “ready” for you, but your embarrassment was making it hard to convince you and had him second guessing himself.

England: He was easy to fluster and when he felt like he was the one to have brought on this discomfort, he felt just a bit ashamed of himself. Wanting to soothe your worries, he gently rubbed your leg and called you pet names as he tried his hardest to make you feel better.

Canada: A hue spread across his face and he hesitated. There was a soft apology for having accidentally embarrassed you. He wanted to be close to you though, so he cuddled you and told you how lovely you were in hopes of easing your self-conscious woes.

Japan: Your flushed expression made him recoil and immediately apologize. He didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. Even if he didn’t mind the extra hair, your discomfort spread to him, meaning he was more inclined to wait patiently until you decided you were ready for him..

Your embarrassment wears off on them

[ripleysream]

Stupid Adoration

rhea ripley x female reader

tw: smut, and i guess thats it

"You look nice," Y/N whispered, wrapping her arms around Rhea's waist.

Rhea wrapped her arms around Y/N's shoulders, pulling her in closely as she whispered, "You're looking good too, Y/N..."

"Thank you," Y/N mumbled, turning around to face the cameras, giving them a few smiles.

Rhea chuckled lightly, finding Y/N's demeanor to be very charming. She ran a hand through Y/N's hair and leaned in slightly. "Always a charmer, aren't you?"

Once the pictures were done, Rhea let go of Y/N quickly, taking a cigarette from her pocket.

Y/N glanced over at the cigarette in curiosity, noticing the slight change in Rhea's demeanor once they were done with the photos. "You... smoke a lot, don't you?"

Rhea took a drag from the cigarette, closing her eyes as she exhaled a plume of smoke. "Yeah, I do. It helps me calm my nerves before a big match, to be honest."

Y/N sighed. "Can you at least pretend to be in love with me?" Y/N asked while Rhea smirked, lighting her cigarette again.

Rhea chuckled again as she exhaled a lungful of smoke, the corner of her lips curving into a smirk. "You just can't get enough of me, can you?" She then leaned in towards Y/N, dropping an arm around her shoulder as she whispered in her ear, "Fine, I'll pretend, for your sake."

Y/N tried her best not to take Rhea's words seriously. She knew how Rhea's mind worked. She slept with a bunch of girls, made them fall in love, and then broke their hearts in no time. Y/N was not willing to be one of her victims. But damn, it was so hard not to fall for her.

A few weeks ago, they were drunk at an after-party at Dominik's house, and they had a big make-out session, not caring about people watching. The next morning, the pictures were all over the internet, and now Rhea and Y/N were in some kind of fake relationship for WWE. They barely saw each other outside of work and events like this when they had to attend together.

Rhea stood around, staring at other girls when she should have been paying attention to Y/N. "I thought you would stop smoking," Y/N said when they were in their dressing room, watching Rhea lean against a vanity.

Rhea didn't respond immediately as she took another drag from her cigarette, clearly not caring how much smoke was billowing around them. She exhaled slowly, the smoke drifting from her lips in a small cloud.

Then she finally spoke, her voice casual and dismissive. "What can I say? The bad habits stick. Besides, it helps me stay focused." Rhea glanced over at Y/N, her gaze lingering for a moment before moving elsewhere again. "Can't have me going out there half-distracted, can we?"

"You're so annoying. When are we gonna fucking break up?" Y/N groaned, pacing around the room. Rhea grabbed her by her hips, pulling Y/N into her. Rhea's lips tasted like beer and mint. They always did. And Y/N loved it. Her kisses were always rough and needy, especially when she was mad. Y/N used to throw around the word 'breakup' just to get her a little mad. Y/N didn't want their relationship to end. She told herself she just liked the attention, but a part of her knew Rhea had a soft spot for her too.

Rhea responded with frustration, her grip on Y/N's hips tightening as she held Y/N closer against her. Their kisses were rough and insistent, fueled by a mix of annoyance and something else that they both refused to acknowledge.

Finally, as they broke apart for air, Rhea looked into Y/N's eyes, a hint of uncertainty in her gaze. "You really want us to break up? Or are you just looking for a reaction?"

Y/N stayed silent as they pulled away, her gaze locked with Rhea's, and her heart beat erratically in her chest. She couldn't deny it; there was a part of her that didn't want it to end. "I don't know... Do you want to break up?"

Rhea couldn't help but smirk at Y/N's response, the mixture of defiance and vulnerability in her eyes only serving to fuel the fire between them. "You're playing with fire, Y/N. You know that, right?" She released her grip on Y/N's hips but didn't fully let her go, her fingers remaining on the bare skin between her shirt and skirt, tracing small circles on the exposed flesh.

"We're not having sex in the dressing room," Y/N said, pulling away from Rhea, who stared at her for a second.

Rhea chuckled, her smirk only growing wider as Y/N pulled away. "Always the responsible one, aren't you?" She pushed off from the vanity and sauntered over to Y/N, her eyes dark and intense as she looked down at her. "But you can't deny the... tension between us."

Y/N wiped off her lipstick from Rhea's mouth and her own, which had smeared a bit. Y/N fixed Rhea's hair and shirt, then grabbed her hand, guiding them out of the dressing room. "Where are we going?" she asked, interlocking their fingers.

Rhea followed along with a mix of curiosity and amusement on her face, letting Y/N take the lead as they left the dressing room. "Dinner. There are going to be cameras," she whispered.

After the fake dinner, Y/N and Rhea stood in the hallway of Y/N's apartment. The lights were low, but the light from the windows escaped and reflected in Rhea's blue eyes, the ones Y/N had fallen for.

Rhea leaned against the wall, her arms crossed, and her face illuminated by the soft glow of the moonlight filtering through the window. "We're alone now."

"Rhea, I don't want to do this anymore."

Rhea's expression shifted from casual nonchalance to something more guarded. "What do you mean?"

"Rhea... I really like you, and it's obvious you don't feel the same, and it sucks becaus—" Y/N was stopped by Rhea with a fierce kiss, her lips pressing against Y/N's with a hunger that betrayed her earlier indifference. Without realizing it, they made their way into Y/N's apartment.

Rhea's fingers dug into the flesh of Y/N's thighs, her touch possessive and desperate. "Don't you dare finish that sentence..." Rhea resumed the kiss, her mouth more demanding and insistent than before. Their bodies moved together in a familiar dance, each kiss and touch only fueling the fire that burned between them.

"I like you too, Y/N. So, so fucking much. Haven't you noticed?" Rhea whispered.

Y/N gasped as Rhea's words finally broke through the haze of desire that had consumed her. "You've never said it before. How was I supposed to know?" She tangled her fingers in Rhea's hair. "Don't lie to me."

Rhea growled her response, her voice rough and filled with lust and frustration. "I'm not lying." Their tongues tangled together again, but Rhea broke the kiss just long enough to speak. "I need you. Right now." Rhea led them to the bedroom; she already knew the way.

Rhea sits Y/N on the bed, kissing her slowly this time, her hands go down to the zipper behind Y/N's skirt. "Can I take this off?"

"Yes, please." Y/N didn't want to seem desperate, but she was.

Rhea chuckled at Y/N's desperate tone, the sound low and sultry in her throat. "You're so eager..." She took off her skirt, throwing it somewhere in the room.

Y/N arched her back, pressing her body up into Rhea's touch. "You have no idea how long I've wanted this..."

Rhea smirked against her skin, nipping playfully at the sensitive flesh before pulling away to look down at her. "Oh, I think I have an idea." She leaned down again, her mouth finding a new spot on Y/N's collarbone to lavish with kisses and small bites while taking off her shirt, revealing a matching black lingerie set. "Did you know this would happen?"

"It's not like we see each other a lot... I wanted it to happen." Y/N pulled Rhea down to stop her from asking any more questions. Rhea's hands felt like they could burn Y/N's skin at any moment. Rhea's fingers were agile in removing her bra from behind, and Rhea let her lips meet Y/N's hard nipple, while her tattooed fingers paid attention to the other. "Fuck..." Y/N cursed, the sound muffled against Rhea's lips, her back arching against the bed.

"Already at the cursing stage, are we?" Rhea returned her lips to Y/N's, but this time one of her hands went to her panties, already soaked. "Please, Rhea." It was almost embarrassing how wet Y/N was, but she wanted Rhea to know how badly she wanted it.

Two of Rhea's fingers pumped in and out, Y/N was so wet that it wasn't difficult for Rhea to put a third finger in, while watching the smaller girl wriggling in pleasure underneath her body. It didn't take long for Y/N to arch her back violently, cumming all over Rhea's fingers. Her brain seemed to have shut down for a few seconds while her body shook, relieving that almost electric sensation. "Fuck!" She yelled, her body still in a trance.

Rhea smirked against her skin, her hands and lips continuing their way on her body. "You sound so beautiful, you know that? I could listen to you moan like that all night." And that was enough for Y/N to cum all over Rhea's fingers.

"You're so beautiful," Y/N whispered against Rhea's neck, feeling her face burn red.

Rhea's breath hitched at her words, her body shuddering slightly at the feeling of her breath against her skin. Rhea couldn't remember the last time someone she knew called her beautiful, and coming from Y/N, it hit her deeper than she would have expected. "You're going to be the death of me, you know that?" Rhea's kisses moved down from Y/N's chest to her thighs. She inhaled a sharp breath, feeling Rhea's tongue on her slit.

Y/N wasn't even recovered yet from the first orgasm, but Rhea down there was enough to turn her on again. Her tongue did wonders to Y/N every time, and it was so hard to keep it together when Rhea's dark gaze met hers, watching every reaction.

"You taste so good," Rhea whispered, rubbing her lips gently against Y/N's. She closed her eyes, trying to catch her breath as Rhea's hands went to her legs, holding them. "You have no idea. So sweet." She held Y/N's legs in place, her fingers tracing small, absent-minded patterns on her soft clit. She nipped at Y/N's bottom lip, unable to help herself from wanting another taste. "God, you drive me crazy."

Y/N pushed Rhea to the bed and smiled while watching Y/N unbutton her jeans with such ability. "Are you trying to ride my leg?"

"Maybe." She teased, a playful gleam in her eyes as she looked down at Rhea, her voice low and sultry. "Why? You want me to?"

As Y/N straddled her lap, Rhea reached up to grasp her hips, pulling her down on top of her, their bodies flush together. She could feel how wet Y/N was on her leg. Rhea's fingers made their way to her bare back, pulling her closer against her. "You're teasing me. You know what that does to me." She rocked her hips up against Y/N's pussy, the friction driving her mad with need.

Y/N started moving faster, and Rhea's thumb went to her clit, easily rubbing it in circles. Y/N couldn't hold back anymore, and in seconds, she yelled and came again, letting her sweaty body fall against Rhea, who let out a chuckle while holding her shaky figure.

"Don't be lying... please..." Y/N said more to herself than to Rhea before lifting her head in Rhea's arms and pressing her lips to the wrestler's.

Rhea held her tighter against her body, their bodies still pressed together. She could feel the tremors still running through Y/N's body, matching her own. She held her close, peppering kisses to the top of her head, her voice still ragged but filled with sincerity. "I'm not lying, Y/N. I mean it."

"Do you want me to... touch you?" Y/N whispered, trailing her hand down Rhea, her body instinctively arching up toward the touch. But something held her back, and she was quick to grab Y/N's hand in hers.

"You don't have to... We can just..." Rhea struggled to find the words. She met Y/N's gaze. "...Just stay like this, for a while. Just lie here with me." Rhea pulled Y/N down again, her head resting against her chest, grounding her in the moment.

_____

Hi, this is my first time writing about Rhea Ripley, who has been my obsession for the past few months. English is not my first language, so please excuse any spelling mistakes and things like that. If you'd like to request any themes for me to write about, just let me know. My life is a bit chaotic because of college and work, but I'll try my best. I hope you enjoy it :)

[randoimago]

Hii could we have headcanons of Goro Akechi (ps5) as a girl dad? Despite thinking that he'd be like Shido, he'd absolutely be the overprotective, scares off all the boys, will move mountains for her kind of father 🥹 I can picture fatherhood healing him from the pain shido inflicted on him

Ofc, feel free to ignore if it's something you do not wish to write 🫶 lots of love 💓💓

Fandom: Persona 5

Character(s): Akechi

Note(s): I saw the request and I did it, but I like the idea of Akechi reluctantly adopting a kid since idk if he'd heal enough to actually have a partner to have a child with (or feel like he'd deserve it)

Also, I know in my rules it says I don't age characters up, but if it's for fun, platonic thing like this then I don't mind (I'll still be iffy about what kind of things I'll allow tho)

Akechi

Ends up accidentally adopting the child of a victim from one of the cases he worked on. He didn't want to (or mean to, he just offered his home for the kid to stay for a night while they tried to find other family).

As Akechi gets used to the idea of having a child, he realizes how afraid he is of messing up. He knows how he turned out and he doesn't want to put any burdens or guilt or anything on this child that lost so much.

He doesn't quite realize how protective he's gotten either. He'll just be out grocery shopping with the kid and see someone talking to her, just light small talk to the child and he immediately has a fake smile plastered on and getting the stranger to leave.

As much as he tries not to spoil his... daughter (it takes him a while to come to terms with calling her that. His face was priceless when she called him "dad" the first time), she definitely developed her own princess-like nature from him and so he can't help but cave and get extra desserts if she asks nicely. That said, he still makes sure she does her chores and gets good grades.

School is another thing I can seem him reminding himself to be careful with. He always pushed himself to be the best in school so he could accomplish his goals. But she's a child. She should have a childhood. So while he does want her to have good grades to decide her own future, he also makes sure she's not too stressed and that her teachers aren't hard asses.

Yeah Akechi isn't letting her have a boyfriend (or partner in general) until she's twenty-six (and he ups the year each time she mentions it). He remembers what a jerk he was with all his pretending. And he also remembers how idiotic some of the Phantom Thieves were (not to mention Joker being a playboy) so he is not trusting her with any boys.

The door stays open if she brings girls or anyone else over just to make sure.

He honestly can't quite believe how attached he's gotten to his daughter though and how much things have changed. When she smiles or hugs him or even just sticks her tongue out because he was a smartass, it makes him happy. His smiles are more real and he finds himself enjoying being a father.

taglist:

@abellaheart-blog

[4dkellysworld]

Alright so what I do to release is I bring up a thought or desire that I want to let go of. For example, a desire like I want to have clear skin. I then ask 'can I let go of this desire?" And then ask 'would I let go of this desire?' And finally I ask 'When?'. (Because I obviously don't want to carry that desire with me anymore and would like to be done with it, my answer towards those questions are always yes.) After the process I do tend to feel a little light sometimes, but then when I think about the desire again I still want it.

I just finished reading a pdf that goes into details on Lester's experience with dropping limitations and how he did it within those 3 months. And he basically talked about how some thoughts would take some time to drop and he would basically just keep releasing those until they were fully gone. Reading that helped me realize that maybe I am doing this right and I just need to keep releasing the desire and it will soon completely go. I have had this desire for almost 7 years now so i guess my attachment to it might be too strong and so that it why it's not going away in one session?

But anyways your inputs are always appreciated so if there is anything you want to let me know about or help me with, like maybe the conclusions i came to aren't fully correct, you can.

It does look like you're releasing correctly. However, as I've reiterated in many of my previous posts/answers now, releasing is just one form of letting go of ego, not the only one. I've found it best not to get too fixated on sticking to the one method and try to make everything fit into it by necessarily applying it to absolutely everything, it's better to assess each limitation on a case by case basis, be flexible and then do what feels right intuitively. It may be that releasing is not the best way to go about it for this particular desire. (But yes, for certain thoughts that are deeply rooted, it can take more than one session to completely release. It's best not to have expectations on how long it takes to release something)

Here are some other forms of letting go of ego you could explore if it resonates with you.

Identify the causative thoughts for why you don't have clear skin (for your example) and then drop them.

If we want a perfect body and we don’t have a perfect body, it means that we don’t have the conviction that we can make the body perfect. It means we are subconsciously holding in our mind a consciousness of an imperfect body. The body is an exact copy of the mind, the body being only our consciousness projected outwardly. We must change our subconscious thinking until we subconsciously have the conviction that our body is perfect. That will do it. - Lester Levenson, The Keys to the Ultimate Freedom

This follows the principle of taking responsibility for everything that happens to you, including the body and all circumstances. The body is simply a manifestation of your thoughts. For example, when people get sick, it's really that they are doing it to themselves (most often it's unconscious) as a result of various thoughts they had previously that became a habit and mindset. Taking Lester as an example, he found out that his health issues were a result of wanting love and approval from the world, wanting to change things in the world and fearing death itself. For past me who had health challenges, I realized I was used to thinking as the victim and believed that I needed to be in a state that garnered pity (such as being sick) in order to be safe and perceived as non-threatening and this naturally manifested eventually in health issues because I wanted to be safe and felt I wasn't! In other examples Lester has said, he has mentioned that skin rashes are really manifestations of mental irritations or conflicts that have now surfaced and to correct this is to identify what it is and then resolve it (undo it, see it isn't true, drop it). I've also realized that everything on the body are quite literally just thoughts that have taken form and are being expressed on the body (including suppressed emotions which is why releasing is important!) - if the body is not in a state of harmony, then the mind is not either because all comes from the mind. Obviously all limitations are silly to hold onto once you identify what they are and they should be dropped. These are just examples and your own thoughts that manifested into skin that you don't prefer won't necessarily be the same as these.

2. Identify why this particular desire exists. What does it symbolize to you? Beauty? Freedom? Purity? Health? All of the above or something else? Be honest with yourself and see what it represents to you. This is the lack that you perceive, this is what you think you don't have but in fact as infinite beings we never lack anything, the lack and limitations are just illusions, old programming & conditioning we once believed and accepted that are now operating automatically in the background but it isn't true. Then can you see how that lack isn't true after identifying it (feel free to reason it out and use logic to see how it is untrue)? If not, apply the exercise detailed here to what you perceive you lack (replace love with whatever it is you identified).

Once this core lack has been properly addressed and dissolved, you could see yourself having the symbol too (in whatever way suits you) but I think it's important not to attribute fulfillment or happiness to these externals. See first that it is all coming from within you then once you've set that right, you can have the symbol too if you want - so long you understand it's only a symbol and you aren't being dependent on it for fulfilling perceived lack.

You could try let go of it in a 4 step process as I've detailed in the second part of this ask here. I recommend doing each step completely and mindfully before moving onto the next rather than rush through them and then have to repeat the whole thing again.

Release any emotions and feelings attached to the limitation that is to be dropped by bringing it to mind and allowing them to be. You can use this method as a guide and modify it how you feel is best

Investigate within and identify the causative thoughts for the limitation then drop them

Identify what the core essence(s) are that you believe you lack (that this limitation represents or what you want this symbol to fulfill) and then either drop the belief of lack or allow yourself to see, feel and know that you are complete, whole and fulfilled (using whatever method feels right).

(Optional) See yourself having the symbol if you want - so long you understand it's only a symbol and aren't dependent on it for fulfilling perceived lack.

In all of this, the attitude is not to try to get rid of or fix something that is "wrong". Apply lots of love, kindness, compassion, understanding and patience. Don't fight the dream - the more you resist, the more it persists but what you look at and accept is given the opportunity to be released and dissolved. Accept everything and see them as neutral, even the parts that you don't prefer. Allow everything to be as it is. Then allow yourself to change your mind and think differently in ways that you prefer, without trying to make anything happen in the world. As Neville said "Indifference is the knife that severs. Feeling is the tie that binds."

Patience is key. Drop all expectations. Just focus on your state of consciousness, instead of getting things in the world. Don't look to the world for what is within.

[sasha199]

Gale/ Wyll drama pt. 5

Y’all…this game hits different when your Tav is a stand in for yourself.

My sister and I are playing a multiplayer as ourselves, as sisters. I was romancing/flirting with both Gale and Wyll. I made a move on Lae’zel too but THAT ended in tears. Sister is pulling both Astarion and Shadowheart.

(I’m Sasha, sister is Marlie.)

"Are your lips swollen?"

"Huh?"

"You heard me, what have you been doing?"

I look around, there's no one nearby but I lower my voice anyway, "Making out with Gale."

"WHAT? With Gale!?"

"Shhhhhhh!" 

Marlie looks genuinely shocked, but she does lower her voice, "I thought you and daddy’s boy were a thing now?"

"Well, we were...for a moment. But then Gale KISSED me. Like really kissed me, put his whole groin into it kissed me, and I've changed my mind."

"Ew. That's all it takes for you to switch sides?"

I roll my eyes at my sister, "Don't you judge me Miss Been-Getting-Laid-This-Whole-Time. Some of us have been on the struggle bus for a minute. Plus, it's not just about sex."

"Really, what's it about then?"

"Nothing, forget it." I'm already over this whole conversation and it's not making anything I know I need to do easier. Wyll had called me his sun just a couple hours ago and I was going to have to break his heart. 

"Calm down then, I know what it's about. Just cuz you can't say it. I know you're in LOVE with the magic man."

"Stop it."

"Well, you are. Aren't you?"

I say nothing. 

I've been thinking it for so long, but I have been so determined to never let those words cross my lips when it comes to Gale. I feel kind of frozen. I'm still a bit blindsided by the kiss, the intensity of it. When I remember the way Gale's hands felt on my body, they way our mouths moved in sync...I feel heat gathering in...places. 

"Incoming." Marlie whispers suddenly.

"Well met."

I snap my head around, "Oh, hey Wyll. Marlie and I were just-" but she's gone. I sigh, rouge shit. 

"If she was here I believe you, that's just her way. Have you given further thought to our plan of attack for Moonrise? If my father is there, he'll be held in the lower dungeons, perhaps away from the Tiefling prisoners. Did Minthara giver her consent to stay in camp?"

"Wha- Minthara? Oh, I haven't asked her yet. Regardless we'll probably go back to Last Light first. Re-stock and all that, um and Marlie wants to bring Astarion for some mysterious reason." I knew why she wanted to bring him, but it wasn't my place to tell anyone about his scars or the person who could potentially decode them for us. 

Wyll let out a chuckle, "Rouges. Those two are enigmas to me, but they do seem to make each other happy."

"Yeah." They're relationship was complicated, it had taken me a while to warm up to Astarion, but a recent conversation about his siblings, and the realities of what they must be facing with him missing had done a lot in regards to my empathy for him. "Anyway, I think I'm going to take Minthara to Last Light, she needs to get properly geared up but I can come back for you before we head to Moonrise."

"Very well." He takes my hand in his, he squeezes it tenderly, "Whatever you think is best."

"We'll get your father back."

"We will." He smiles at me and leans in to kiss my cheek. I let him and squeeze his hand back before he walks away from me. 

"I am literally the worst person, ever." I mutter to myself. 

Minthara is meditating at her tent as I approach. It was my decision to leave her alive at the goblin camp, and likewise I helmed the rescue mission for her. I wasn't the smoothest talker but Marlie definitely did not trust the drow woman, which I understood, so she left the responsibility of Minthara to me. It had never felt right leaving her in the Absolute's clutches, even though I knew that if roles were reversed Minthara wouldn't waste time or resources to rescue us. But she'd thanked me for saving her and seemed determined to do her part to win against Ketheric Thorm, which was enough for me.  She opens her eyes as I approach, they're bright red, almost the same color as Astarion's. "You wish to consult me?" she says matter of factly. 

"Yeah, Minthara hey. We're going to Last Light to get some gear. You need a sword and armor and stuff."

She quirks a white eyebrow at me, " 'And stuff,' by that I hope you mean a useful weapon to bring down the Cult of the Absolute."

"I do."

"Very well then."

I hesitate before turning away, "Hey, you have pretty good insight right? Can I ask you about your thoughts on our companions?" 

She considers for a moment, "A disparate collection of vagabonds and strays." Her tone is direct and no-nonsense. "Anyone particular in mind?" 

"Um...have you spent much time with, uh, Gale?" Wow her gaze is intense, maybe it's the red eyes or that unyeilding stare but I'm having a hard time maintaining prolonged direct eye contact with her. 

"The wizard? No."

There's a silence that stretches after. 

"Don't you like wizards?" Why does my voice sound so small and high pitched?

"They're mastery of the Weave is commendable, but they are awful conversationalists."

"Really? Spoken with a lot of wizards, have you."

"No."

More silence, then I think she picks up the hint that I'm expecting her to elaborate so she continues, "In my experience, they do not usually live long enough to make the effort of befriending them worth-while."

I close my mouth, how long has it been open?

"Either the enemy recognizes they are a threat, and kills them swiftly, or their curiosity leads them to combust while experimenting with the limits of magic." 

I begin to say something, think better of it and shrug. Where's the lie?

"Our wizard is already in a state of suspended combustion thanks to that orb between his ribs."

I raise my eyes to the sky, to the shadows that hover there blocking out the sun. 

Fuck that fucking orb. Fuck Mystra, and Elminster, and Gale. Sweet, depressing, romantic Gale. Who's kisses make my toes curl, who's smile melts my heart, who begged me so sweetly to choose him.  

I look back to Minthara, there's a small look of concern around her eyes. "You're more right than you know." I say.

"I suspect it's only a matter of time before he goes up in smoke."

I sigh. "Not while I'm around." I'm impressed at how confident I sound. 

"In any case," she adds "I will reserve my social graces for those who might live long enough to appreciate them."

"Like me." I give her a sarcastic smile. 

"That remains to be seen," she slings what gear she has over her shoulder, "but I owe you my life and my freedom. Without you I would still be a slave to the Absolute. I know your sister had no such qualms about leaving me to my fate."

"Yeah, she thinks I'm too nice." I walk with her towards the camp exit.

"I would have called it weakness, or written you off as pathetic."

"Minthara..."

"But as I said I am here because of you, so much remains to be seen."

I look at her out of the corner of my eye as we make our way to Last Light, I like this woman. People could say what they wanted about how soft I was, but sometimes I was right. 

Marlie and Astarion rise up from the shadows and fall to either side of us. 

Rouge shit. 

[wi55iams]

Hi, I'm the versainz anon. I also like charlos a lot, too. In the sense that they are full of themes, the whole religious symbolism, the black swan/white swan but also the fact that they are both losers.

Charles is the mold of the ferrari driver now, but to get there has made so many choices that changed him, il predestinato, and everything in paper but has yet to give the love back (win a championship with ferrari), he tries every single weekend. He will die on the Ferrari Hill TM and is forever grateful for the opportunity to drive for ferrari, for the academy, and all that, but he has lost more than he has won, they break his spirit so much, its unbelievable how he is out there still trying, he is betrayed in the lack of winning. Charles is the divine intervention, pure of love, archangel Gabriel, the light of ferrari, everything you want to be, and still not enough.

Carlos is privileged, with the name and the status and the sponsors, but foreign to ferrari, an outsider, he had to pick up a knife and butchered himself so he would fit the mold, fit ferrari, and it's still not enough. He is soft; he has an exposed soft belly for ferrari and is comfortable but is betrayed anyway, again and again (in the sense that he has to do his own strategy so many times, giving charles access to his set up in monza 23 and in the race have to fought charles so hard for that podium). So why keep trying to be good? He gets to be lucifer now, gets to be called El matador, El Diablo rosso.

They keep clashing, but in the end they are in the same boat, having yet to bleed enough for ferrari, the agony the love.

They break themselves for ferrari, they bleed for them, but they are the only two to lick each other wounds, Carlos and Charles.

Ps. If I'm bothering you, just let me know and I will stop

Ps2. English is not my first language, but I hope all this made sense

Ps3. This is all rpf and on the real world is very understandable why anyone would want LH on their team... This is not my point when I'm talking about betrayals. This is more for people that stumble on the post, just a clarifying to separate the real from the vision of the enclosure (my mind)

Lovee,

First of all you aren't annoying me at ALL. This is great!

Secondly I agree with everything: Charlos and Versainz have very different vibes overall, and you hit the nail on the head as to why. Charlos is all about them being stuck in the suffering together. I've always seen Charles as the white lamb being sacrificed, but Carlos as a parallel who's tired of being sacrificed and being pulled around, betrayed is new to me but completes the metaphor so well. Like an angel fallen from grace. It's so good. Heavenly good lamb vs fallen evil devil. Just perfect parallels.

Versainz is also about being stuck in the suffering but with their dads expectations and finding solace in each other. It's about healing from the self mutilation but in Charlos they're actively doing it. If that makes any sense.

Feel free to dm me if you want we have such similar opinions your thoughts are so good!

[chenswire]

overdue Episode 11 post

basically the chenswire part of my stupidly long twitter thread covering ep 11 with more delusional thoughts and I ended up TLing their last scene in CN I guess (scroll to bottom) i wish i had the energy to make 1morbillion gifs but i do not so.. Excerpts from my 200 image screenshot folder it is

So the ep starts off with a super pensive Swire which was very cute when will my wife return from the war energy

And then she breaks out into a super un-ladylike run whaddahell!!!! this sequence was sooo well drawn wtf. handsome

(Something here about how people were joking this part is summer chen because they call chummer 水陈 'water chen')

I like how relaxed the atmosphere was like this definitely isn't the first time something like this has happened, well I mean after all they are Professional Co-workers who do not fight 24/7 (they get into an argument immediately after)

When they break eye contact to turn towards Hoshiguma they basically don't meet each other's gazes again as they take turns to glare at each other its insane... Also Swire saying she should take over and Chen needs treatment... Chen you understand what that means right...

Another detail I love is how at the start they already show her battered jacket/clothes for us gamers to point at the screen and then later who those who don't know/didn't notice we have a whole close up of chen reacting to it...man.jpg And swire leaving right away once she knows chen is fine (and one of her good points. lol. lmao) you guys are sure so quick

Link to CN version of the PUUK GAI LUNG in Paci Plaza I love how she's like 'Chen you stay right there' at the end like she's going to idk fly over ASAP to whack her (as opposed to just 'hey, chen!')

Here's a clip of the last scene with CN dub because not only do we get 'ah chen' it just hits so different...

Hi~ Still there, Miss Ah Chen? Ah? What d'you mean by ah, huh? Aren't you a Dai Siu Ze too? Enough of that, don't you have something to tell me? What happened at Paci Plaza… I'll make sure to sort it all out and file for damages later.

Had a feeling they would go with the JP loc's 'aren't you an ojou too' since you know, anime, but keeping the 'ah chen' and that 阿什么阿 response the unparalleled casualness

You… Remember the Cha Chaan Teng at Sheung Wan? Trying to change the subject? The one near the LGD HQ, right? I used to stop by there on my patrols sometimes. Let me treat you to something there next time. Hmm~ If we go there… I want a steak tomato and egg burger! Wait, no! Like hell I'd want you to treat me to a meal!

the longer pause after 'you...' like she was considering something else before she decided to go with her 茶餐厅 MENTION!!!!! gives this a whole different flavour... chen outright offering the meal instead of swire guessing??? THE WARM SMILE CLOSE UP i feel like im intruding on something

Then send your bill to Chief Wei. I'm hanging up. Wait, don't hang up just yet! I heard you ran straight out of Rhodes Island in the end. What are you planning? Weren't you looking for their help? Ugh, stay down! Take a nap over there! You sure sound busy. Guess I should hang up. Tch… I'm not done speaking with you yet. Was leaving the little bunny (and the others) over there weighing on your mind? Well, whatever. (We'll just do this) Just let me help you clean up the mess over here.

It just sounds so much more casual in CN than the JP dub (which is excellent ofc) >let me do it for you instead of 'ill do it' (head in hands)

the opposite lighting and angle and chen looking away vs swire looking straight #KINO

Don't talk like you understand me very well, Miss S. Enough!!! How many times have I told you not to call me that!! Got it, got it.

You don't seem to get it, so I'll be nice today and explain it to you. Life is extremely precious. You're always risking your life chasing what's right in front of you. Stop doing that. Got that? Your advice… I'll take it.

That exasperated 'Enough!!!' i (turns into a plane and flies away) and the last line... it as 'thanks for the advice' which technically isn't wrong but you know the nuance of uh. kind of, almost, somewhat, accepting a... confession... (of her concern ofc) also CN chen lets swire finish speaking instead of interrupting which hehe... like i said..the flavour hits different. also that subtle movement as chen like eases in more and more between those lines aaaghhhhhhhhhh

their earlier argument was so explosive and quick, but now their banter is so tender and slow like bruh. what. even the act of chen putting down her sword to sit down in a comfortable position (loved that she sat like that One leg sitters rise up!!!) was so ??? the normally yolo speedrunner chen being so leisurely like damn. ok. ok. From 'you think you can order me around' to basically agreeing to an order (Londinium cannon vine boom) I thought Chen being this warm was more or less a delusion that I inferred through in game as subtext (since in game her expression then is usually like her default rbf face...) and seeing it here as 'text' in the show is like 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯 holy shit can't believe i got FED after four years incidentally i've been obsessed with a certain CN writer's fics lately because the way they write chen like a sad wet dog while showing warmth is crazyyy maybe i will blog about it next time because i was legit taking notes lmao

[themultifandomgal]

Jay- Hen Party

"Good morning! Rise and shine" I groan hearing Will's voice in mine and Jay's bedroom. The room lights up signalling that Will has opened up the curtains. I pull the bed sheet further over my head to block out the light

"Come on YN up you get. We've got a fun day ahead and you shouldn't be seeing Jay at all today or tonight" I now hear Erin

"Go away" I snuggle into Jay more who tightens his arms around me

"You know that's all arranged marriage bullshit. YN and I have seen each other many times and we aren't backing out of the wedding. So.." again Jays arms tighten "we can stay here all day if we wanted to"

"Hmmm I like that idea" I smile although no one can see me

"I will give you 5 more minutes, no more. Will is going to make breakfast but then your both dressed and ready for the day"

"Yeah yeah" I yawn. I hear the door open then close leaving Jay and I "who decided to give Will a key to the house?"

"You did" Jay mutters into my hair "but if we don't get up they will pull us out of bed kicking and screaming" sighing I sit up and rub the sleep from my eyes. I turn to face Jay who's still lying on his back

"Last day to change your mind" Jay smiles at me

"As if I would" I lean down and kiss his lips "I'll go have a shower first"

After breakfast Jay and I say goodbye to one another. He's got a stag do organised by Will while I've got a hen party organised by Erin. Erin drives me to her place where Natalie, Kim, Maggie, April, Gabby and Sylvie are waiting for me

"Hey girls" I smile greeting everyone

"Put this on" Gabby hands me a sash saying 'bride to be' and a little tiara. I put them on feeling giddy that tomorrow I will be Mrs Halstead

"I can't believe your getting married" Kim says taking my hand in hers

"Honestly neither can I" I squeeze her hand

"Ok so the party bus should be arriving any minute now"

"Wait party bus?" I look at Gabby

"Hell yeah. We're mixing cocktails all day"

"Oh Lord" I run my hands through my hair "I don't want a hangover on my wedding day" I reply to Sylvie

"You won't. Don't worry. We're going to pace ourselves" just as Erin says this the bus arrives

"Let's go" Natalie pulls me out of the door and into the party bus.

We only seem to be driving for half an hour or so before we arrive at funky little bar where we learn to make different cocktails

"How does it feel? You're last night of freedom?" Kim asks

"Freedom? I haven't had that since Jay and I met one another" I laugh "and I wouldn't have it any other way"

"You two make me sick" Sylvie groans making all of us chuckle

"We're just in love. We also know the dangers with our job, that we could loose one another any day. So we want to make the most of the time we do have together"

"Hey, you listen to me. You and Jay will grow old together and retire looking after your beautiful grandchildren"

"Yes ma'am" I reply to Maggie who's pointing a finger at me

"I wonder what the boys are up to. You think they're getting drunk?" Erin asks

"I hope not. I told Jay I wanted us both well rested and feeling good tomorrow"

"Do you think there's stripers?"

"No I spoke to Will and he said it was going to be low key" Gabby says reassuring me, and anyway if there were I trust Jay that he wouldn't look or touch.

We wrapped up the evening with a couple of beers at Molly's before Erin had a text to say that the boys were on their way, which meant we had to leave and go back to her place where we are going to crash for the night. I send Jay a good night text, which he replied to, before going to sleep dreaming about my wedding day with a smile on my face.