#love and light obviously but i gotta do a crash course or something

[wuntrum]

troubled by how many incoming art students dont know how to take and upload a good photo of their work...like well lit, rotated the right way, cropped so its just the artwork, naming the file instead of leaving it IMG_3294?? like guys please 😭

[kaleldobrev]

My Hero

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader

Summary: Your younger sister comes to the spend the Summer in the Bunker with you and the boys. The secret she's hiding? She's a Supernatural fan.

Word Count: 2.7k

Warnings: Cursing (3x), Lots of Fluff, Sexual Innuendos

Authors Note: This is something a little bit different, but I hope you like it! | I think there's a healthy mix between Y/N and Dean / Y/N and her sister (Shell) | Maybe I'll do a part 2? Not sure yet! This could either be a one off or maybe a two parter, you guys let me know! | If you liked this, don’t forget to like & reblog. I really appreciate it! Feedback is always welcome ♡

You woke up to the sound of your cellphone vibrating on the nightstand next to you. Your eyes slowly started to open, thankful that they didn’t need to adjust to the light, although you wished the Bunker bedrooms had windows. You started to reach for your phone, but you were stopped by a semi-sleeping Dean next to you; who simply started to grip you tighter, and pull you closer against his chest. “No baby.” He mumbled, just audible enough for you to hear him.

“Love…” You whispered. “Gotta answer it.”

“No…you don’t. Too early…for phone calls.” He continued to mumble. He cleared his throat, and adjusted his body, throwing his leg on top of yours, and nuzzling his face into your hair.

You didn’t want to move to answer the phone, he had gotten himself so comfortable thus making you more comfortable as this was one of your favorite positions to sleep in.

Against your better judgement, you decided to not answer the phone in that moment, hoping that it wasn’t anything too serious. If it was, they would leave a voicemail whoever it was.

You had fallen back to sleep, waking up about an hour later. Dean still was comfortably nuzzled and pressed against you. Like always, Dean pressed a kiss on the back of your neck, sending a slight shiver down your spine. “Mmm.” You let out.

“Morning baby.” Dean said, his voice sounding a lot less groggy than it usually did whenever he woke up.

“Morning my love.” You replied back. “How’d you sleep?”

“Pretty good.” He said, propping himself up with his elbow. “Always sleep great next to you Sweetheart.” His comment made you smile. “How about you? How did my baby sleep?”

“Like a baby.” You replied, your response had made him smile too. “I always sleep great whenever you’re holding me.” You started running your fingertips along his arm. “Makes me feel safe.”

“Good.” He said, cupping your cheek, rubbing it slightly with his thumb. “Cause when you’re safe, I know I’m doing my job properly.”

“And what job is that?” You asked, already knowing the answer.

“Being your boyfriend obviously.” He grinned, starting to lean in close to your face.

“You know how cheesy that sounds right? Very chick flick.” You teased, inches away from his lips.

“You love it.” He said, before crashing his lips into yours.

“Shit.” You said, looking at the missed calls and texts on your phone.

“What is it Y/N?” Dean asked, tossing his dirty clothes into the hamper next to the bedroom door.

“It’s my sister.” Dean’s face turned worried, almost panicked. “She’s fine Dean.” You reassured him, his body became lax then. Although he wasn’t necessarily close with your sister, she was someone that he had become fond of over the course of time that he has known you and your family. He has known you and your family for over a decade, first meeting your parents on a ghoul case about a year or two prior to them introducing you two. Part of the reason your parents were so adamant about the meeting was because they hated that you were a solo hunter. Not because they didn’t know that you were capable or because you were a woman, but because they knew hunters needed backup (that’s how they felt at least), so when you had agreed to start traveling with Dean, they were extremely happy.

“Her flight is going to be here in a couple of hours.” You said. About a few months ago, you and your sister were having a conversation about how she’s never been to the Bunker before and you had told her it was for good reason – it was a secret Bunker. Despite it being one of the safest places in the universe, creatures still managed to find the place, and the last thing you wanted was to put your baby sister in danger. She wasn’t a hunter like you or your parents, that was something that she was never interested in doing. Although she loved the fact that you guys helped people, she had said that she could still help people but in a different way, in a much more safe way: through medical school.

Dean looked at his watch, sitting on the edge of the bed. “What time?” He asked, grabbing his boots and started lacing them up.

“Three.” You walked over to the closet, grabbing one of Dean’s shirts – the maroon one specifically – and put it on over your very faded band t-shirt that you too had stolen from Dean. “I have to go to the airport and pick her up.”

“Want me to come with you?” He asked standing up. He eyed you for a moment, and couldn’t help but grin seeing you in not one, but two of his shirts. “Always so cute wearing my clothes.” He placed one of his hands behind your back, slowly bringing you close to him.

“Only cute?” You asked, giving him a slightly seductive grin.

“Sexy?” He suggested.

“Are you asking me or telling me?” You asked.

“Telling you.” He said, finally deciding. He leaned down and started kissing you, and you found yourself quickly wrapping your arms around his neck, his arms brought you closer to his chest. You could smell that he was wearing the cologne that you had bought him for his birthday this year, which made you slightly turned on a bit more than it probably should have.

As the two of you deepened the kiss, Dean lifted you up, only holding you by your thighs as you kept your arms around his neck. “Wait.” You said, breaking the kiss.

Dean looked at you, slight confusion on his face. “What?”

“We can’t right now. We have to go and get my sister.” Your voice disappointed. With a frustrated and disappointed sounding groan, Dean placed you back on the ground. “I’m sorry.” You offered him an apology, and placed one of your hands on his chest. “Trust me. You know I want to just as much as you do.” You leaned up and gave him a quick peck. “For the record though, I’d love it if you could come with me.” He gave you a smirk. “To the airport.” You clarified.

“Before we go uh…I gotta take care of something first.” Dean said, gesturing downward.

You eyed the slight bulge in his pants before looking up at him. “Noted.” Your hand started traveling downward, slight rubbing the front of his jeans. “Want me to…?” Your voice was soft, seductive sounding.

“Fuck.” He mumbled, watching your hand. “I can’t believe I’m saying this but…you’d make it that much harder for me Sweetheart.” You knew exactly what he meant by that. If you had ended up helping him, there would be no way in Hell that he would be able to control himself from fucking you right then and there afterward.

“I’ll meet you in Baby.” You said, grabbing your bag before leaving the room and shutting the door behind you.

The drive to the airport was uneventful. It was a very easy hour and a half drive. The entire drive there, you and Dean did what you always did: listened to his collection of cassette tapes, singing along, and talking about everything and anything, even having a debate or two. You loved having these interrupted moments with Dean, especially the moments where they seemed to be the most normal. You knew he had cherished these too.

Pulling up to the airport you sent a quick text to your sister telling her that you and Dean were here, noting that she needed to look out for the black impala. She gave your message a thumbs up, and texted you back that she was just getting off the plane now. “Still think this is a bad idea.” Dean said, turning off Baby.

You looked at him, and nodded in an agreement. “Look, I’m not saying I don’t disagree with you but, she’s not a moron. She knows how to hunt, she just…chooses not to. Not that I don’t blame her. Hunting wasn’t necessarily my first choice either.”

“It’s never anyone’s first choice unless they come from a long line.” Dean commented. “Even then…” He trailed off, thinking about his own family history. He came from a long line of hunters and Men of Letters, but that didn't necessarily mean that he wanted this life for himself. He dreamed of having a normal life, away from all of this. He had told you though, that one of the only good things to come out of this was the fact that he got to meet you.

Getting out of Baby, you saw your sister starting to make her way toward you, giving you a small wave you gave one back in return. Dean got out of the car behind you, and the two of you started making your way to your sister, meeting her halfway. “Y/N! Dean!” Your sister yelled and started to run toward the both of you. She quickly wrapped her arms around you in a tight hug.

“Hey Shell.” You said, giving her a slight squeeze when you hugged her.

“Hey kid.” Dean and Shell hugged, giving her a small pat on the back.

“Hate when you call me that you know.” Shell teased. “How would you feel if I called you old man?”

Dean shrugged. “I’ve been called worse things.” He motioned over to you. “Mostly by her.” You playfully hit his arm. “Let me get those bags for you.” Dean offered, reaching out his hand to take one of the few bags that your sister had brought with her.

“Such a gentlemen. No wonder you keep him around.” Shell winked in your direction, and you couldn’t help but smile.

“She’s stuck with me whether she likes it or not.” Dean winked, walking ahead of you and Shell.

You wrapped your arm around her shoulders as the two of you walked to Baby.

The drive to the Bunker was almost equally as uneventful as when you and Dean had driven to the airport. But this time, Dean and you had to try and contain yourselves when it came to making sexual innuendos, or comments that he knew would land with you, but wouldn’t land with your sister. For a majority of the ride, your sister was quiet in the backseat, reading. You tried to read the cover of the book but there was nothing defining about it. “Whatcha reading?” You decided to ask, her face suddenly getting a little flush.

“Supernatural fiction.” She simply said.

“What’s the book about?” You asked, genuinely curious about what she was reading.

“Ghosts.” Again, another simplistic answer, something your sister didn’t particularly do.

“Would I like it? You know I like supernatural fiction.” You turned to her, offering her a smile.

“Sweetheart, you just like the supernatural. Fiction or otherwise.” Dean said as he started pulling Baby into the Bunker’s garage.

“You can tell me more about it when Dean’s not around.” You whispered and then winked at your sister. She gave you a small laugh, followed by a smile.

Dean looked at you, almost as if he was offended. “I love books.” He defended.

“You like books that have pictures in them.” You joked.

Shell looked at the two of you bantering back and forth, joking with each other, and she couldn’t help but have a smile on her face. When she had first met Dean, she couldn’t have been more than eleven or twelve, you were about nineteen or twenty. Even when the two of you were just friends, even at a young age, Shell could see that there was something deeper between the two of you. So when you had told her and your parents that you and him had started dating, it really wasn’t that much of a surprise. It was more along the lines of, “What took you two so long?”

“Okay, so, this is going to be your room for the summer. You’re literally right down the hall from me and Dean.” You said putting one of her bags onto the bed. Your sister gave you a look. “We promise to keep the noise level down.” You reassured her. “And we already talked to Cas and Jack about boundaries.”

“I’m not worried about Jack and Cas, Y/N.” Shell said as she started unzipping one of her bags. “It’s a little sad in here.” Shell commented, referencing the various shades of brown that were in the room.

“Trust me, it was a lot worse when we first got here.” You sat on the edge of the bed and watched your sister starting to put some things away. “I hate to brag but, mine and Dean’s room is pretty cool.” Your sister rolled her eyes, jokingly. “I’ll tell you what, you finish unpacking and I’ll start making some dinner. I got all the things to make your favorite.” You touched her arm, giving her a smile.

“Thanks for having me.” Shell said, pulling you into a hug. You hugged her back.

“I’m happy to have you here.” You told her, genuinely meaning it.

Dinner had come and gone without much casualty. Jack and Cas kept the personal questions for your sister at a minimum which you were extremely happy with. Sam, Dean and you kept it relatively PG and trying your best not to talk about the supernatural – something that you didn’t realize was actually pretty difficult to do.

Since Shell had a long flight, she had told you that as much as she had wanted to stay up and watch a movie with you, she knew that there would be no way she would be able to stay awake for it. She opted to go back to her room and read until she fell asleep, telling you that she would be more than happy to watch a movie tomorrow.

The book she was currently reading was something that she would never disclose to anyone, as it was a book that she knew was despised around here, even when she was at home. The book she was currently reading was Supernatural by Carver Edlund – the very first book in the series, and honestly one of Shell’s favorites. The reason she had loved this particular one is because it was the start of your adventures with Sam and Dean, you and Dean had already been hunting together for about a year before the events of the novel, and you could already tell that there was some tension between the two of you.

Shell had read all of the Supernatural books numerous of times, but never brought up that fact with anyone – not even her closest friends knew that she was a fan of the books. For Shell, it felt strange calling herself a fan because although she didn’t know how it felt having an entire book series being written about you, she knew how you, the boys, and your parents had felt about it.

Despite reading these books several times, there were some parts that she always skipped over (the sex scenes for one – she didn’t need to know the kind of sex you, Dean, or Sam had partaken in). The parts that she had found herself reading over and over again were the parts in which you had saved one or both of the boys. It was something that you didn’t really talk about or mention to her, probably because you didn’t really think it was a big deal to save them – that was what being a hunter was, saving people. But she had loved those parts the most because she could truly “see” how badass you really were.

You were a hero in her eyes, despite how you may think of yourself. You had thought of yourself as a bad person, thinking that the boys would be much better off without you there – but Shell had the books to prove otherwise, the boys always thinking or telling each other how much they truly appreciated you, and how much that they had loved having you in their lives (especially Dean).

Despite you thinking those awful things about yourself, she considered you a hero – her hero. Something she knew you’d probably never know; but she was okay with that. Because she was happy to have you in her life, and she was happy to call you her sister.

Tag List: @roseblue373 @beansproutmafia @queenie32 @deanwanddamons If you'd like to be added to a tag list, let me know!

[aneverydaysimp]

Hear me out. This could work with either Satan (Obey me) or Lucifer (obey me). But I think Lucifer since he's so prideful

So like University Au type thing where both Lucifer and MC are book-smart and tries to kill each other just so they could reach number one. Oh the jealousy they hold for each other that they'll never admit. The troubles they put each other through just so the other can tumble.

But lucifer thinks he's a genius with coming up with thr idea of dating her just to distract her. Obviously it doesn't work after a while because he ended up falling for her.❤️HEHE

Oh, the fake dating turned real trope. Ohhh, gotta love it! >:)) I hope it's alright I wrote this out as headcanons, because that's the way I interpreted this idea. My apologies if you preferred a one-shot! Perhaps if it gets popular enough and I have enough inspiration, I'll make a mini fanfic out of it, continuing where I left off~!

Apologies if this is a little ooc for our prideful boy! It's been a long time since I've written anything for him <33 hope you enjoy!

pairing: Lucifer x prideful!MC

pronouns for MC used as you/your, "MC" used as name

tw: mentions of a broken bone, obvious manipulation to a sense, but it's very mild, reader is implied to be shorter than Lucifer, but that's expected considering he's tall af, not proofread cause I'm busy :))

Lucifer's Distraction

You two despise each other wholeheartedly. Everyone knows it from the freshmen to the professors to the birds relaxing by the window. Of course, nobody understand the hatred between you two like, well, you two.

Of course, neither of you would never admit it outloud... or well, even to yourselves. No, no, you both just had academic differences, that's all! Nothing more, nothing less (denial ain't just a river in Egypt)

Everytime Lucifer thought he was there on top, doing the best on an exam or project, you were right there to remind him that he wasn't truly the best, and vis versa.

Finally, you both had had enough. What started as little, annoying pranks to make each other late for class quickly escalated to so much more. At one point, you had even broken a bone from one of his little schemes that included moving a wet floor sign and you slipping. Maybe he went a little fair with that one, but he wasn't sorry. Still, you got back up. Seems Lucifer would have to step up his game. And that's he did.

One night, he laid tossing and turning in bed, unable to rest easy, you there, plauging his mind. Your annoying voice piping up before his, your handwriting on your projects that always seemed to out do his-- ugh, it was beyond annoying. What could he do to get rid of you once and for all? Something to finally top you? Something that would finally make you just drop your--

And then it hit him. Just like that, at the snap of his fingers. What if he seduced you? Know thy enemy, and all that. He almost shot up right then and there. It was wrong, so very wrong, he knew that. But it was too good to pass up.

And so, the next day, after school, some studying for an upcoming exam, and a quick chat on the phone with Asmodeus, here he was, outside of your dorm, late at night, red roses in hand, with a little apology note-- which he meant nothing that it said-- attached to it. He gave the door a light knock, quickly sitting down the flowers and the note before scurrying off, trying to get around the corner before you walked out, if you did. It was late, so he wouldn't be shocked if you were asleep.

Well, as luck would have it, you decided to order a pizza a half hour earlier, and your delivery turns out to have arrived around the same time as Lucifer tried to turn the corner, and well... he crashed into your delivery man, ruining your pizza and his nice new, white shirt with pizza sauce. Karma's a bitch, ain't it?

And you? You opened your door just in time to witness the entire thing. Man, were you confused. Your rival and pizza man bumping into each other. Huh. You were confused, definitely, but more so disappointed your pizza was ruined. Though it did make you grin to see the disgusted look on Lucifer's face as the pizza sauce stained his shirt as the delivery man apoglized profusely.

Only then did you notice the roses and the note. Obviously, you weren't quite as focused on them at the moment, considering your dinner had just been ruined by your totally-not-rival. Hesitantly, you called out to the raventte, catching his attention. "You alright?"

"No." He replied stiffly, sending a glare towards the poor pizza man, who began to apologize to you, mentioning something along the lines of a free pizza next time you ordered. You were hopeful about that, thinking you could just order another, possibly get some extra toppings you like and all that... and then he said their kitchens were closed for the night. You were the last order. Shit. So now your dinner was ruined, you had an empty stomach, and you had loads of studying to do. And on top of that, your rival is standing right here, likely revelling in your misery.

Wrong. He saw this as an opportunity. Sure, his shirt was ruined, but he could easily buy another, just like he was going to buy you dinner tonight.

After the pizza man had been dismissed, and it was just the two of you standing there (awkwardly), you both began to speak at the same time.

"Would you--?" "Would you--?" Pause. "...You go first." He hummed after a moment, arms crossed over his chest. "...Right." You sigh, already regretting speaking in the first place. "Would you like to borrow a shirt? A friend left a shirt here the other night. May fit you." It definitely wouldn't, at least not very well, but considering it was your pizza that ruined his shirt, you felt inclined to at least ask so he didn't have to walk back to his own dorm covered in pizza sauce. You'd just buy your friend a new shirt. He definitely wouldn't mind.

"I'd... actually appreciate that. Thank you." He moved to pick up the roses he had gotten for you. "May I come in? I guess I can give you these first hand now." Your eyes widened. Oh. So it was him who'd gotten them and not some crazy coincidence. They were... pretty, you'd give him that.

You don't say anything, moving to the side to allow him in. You mumble something along the lines of finding that shirt for him before walking towards your dresser, looking for it. "You wanted to ask me something, too."

He hums. "Yes, I did. Considering I messed up your dinner plans, would you like me to make up for it?" You shot around to look at him, a suspicious look in your eyes.

"Plan to break my wrist again?" "...That was an accident." He replies hesitantly. "Sure." You scoff, turning back to the dresser. "What do you think the roses are for? They're an apology." Okay, you had no response to that. "...Fine." You hesitantly agree to his previous question, knowing you needed to eat so you could focus on studying. You can practically feel his eyes in the back of your head, that annoying smirk on his face. "Dick..." You mumble beneath your breath. "What was that?" "...Nothing!"

You turn around to throw the shirt at him, which he skillfully catches. "Thank you." He hums, sitting it aside, moving to undo the buttons of his shirt. You, flushed red by how outwardly he started to do so, quickly spin around, covering your face. Andddd you feel that smirk again. Fucking annoying.

After he's changed, the two of you head out. This late at night, there's only a few restaurants opened. You two head to a local diner, ordering some food. You were a little weird about this all, you had to admit, suspicious as to why he's suddenly being so... well, nice.

You two didn't talk at all aside from ordering, and you stubbornly fighting with him about paying. Unfortunately, he was more stubborn, insisting he payed. You finally huffed, saying something along the lines of "your money, not mine" before going quiet, beginning to eat your food. You didn't say a damn thing to him, or even look at him. But, oh, he was looking at you. His eyes never moved. It was awkward-- no, intimidating as hell.

"Do you mind?" You finally scoffed, eyes meeting his charcoal ones for a brief moment, quickly looking away. "I don't. You're actually not that sore on the eyes." He backhandedly comments to you, earning another scoff. "Is that all you're good for? Scoffs?" He scoffs himself, taking a bite of his own food. Oh, you can feel your eye twitching in annoyance.

However, you take a deep breath, relaxing yourself. "No..." You reply calmly. "Hm." He simply hums, which you copy, earning a raised eyebrow from him. His eyes, however, finally fell from you to your plate, emptied in a matter of minutes. It reminds him of Beel, how quickly you ate that, and he smiles briefly.

"What?" You asked, confused by the small change in attitude. "Oh, nothing." He replies, and it's your turn to raise an eyebrow. He sighs, seeing that look. "How quickly you ate. It reminds me a bit of one of my brothers." He shrugs. "Are you still hungry?" Hesitantly, you nod. "Well, go ahead. Order more." He doesn't seem bothered. "Since you're offering..." You mumble, asking the server for another menu, deciding to get something different.

After that, things feel less tense. As you're waiting for your next plate of food, the two of you slowly began to talk a little. Nothing more than idle conversation, something to make things less awkward. And it was just that, less awkward. Surprisingly, the two of you had more in common than your prideful attitudes, and that quickly sparked another conversation, even as you acquired your food. You asked about his brother-- which turned out to be brothers-- and he began to speak of each of them.

It was strange, seeing how different he was when he spoke of each of them. Though he seemed to carry an easily annoyed older brother tone and expression as he discussed them, you could see pride-- a different pride than he usually carried-- behind his eyes as he spoke.

"Do you have any sisters?" You suddenly asked curiously, and his expression seemed to fall in that moment, sorrow flashing through his eyes momentarily. "Yes." He replied quietly and plainly, moving right on the with the subject, proceeding to ask you of your family instead. You didn't push the subject. You two may despise each other-- again, you wouldn't admit as to why-- but you knew when to drop something. You still did have some form of basic respect after all.

Eventually, this time came to an end, and your stomach was full, and you were happy, ready to spend some time studying. You wished you could've been studying as you ate-- hence why you ordered the pizza-- but you actually... nevermind.

After he'd walked you home, you thanked Lucifer, and he thanked you as well, promising to return the shirt. You bid each other goodnight, and then you closed the door. For you, it was a nice night. For him, it was a good first step in his plan.

Over the next week, the two of you continued your usual antics, working up ideas to make each other late to class. However, you noticed Lucifer's seemed rather... well, lackluster, to put it simply. You'd give the man this, when he wanted to, he could usually come up with something good that would easily make you late. As of recent, though, they just seemed... lazy. Hell, you two were even chatting in class some, copying each other's notes-- well, you more so than him. As much as you hated to admit it, you got a little worried, and almost missed his rather cruel distractions.

Little to your knowledge, this was part of his plan. Well, him being easier on you. Not you showing up to his door one night.

When he opened the door and saw you there, he could only offer a confused look at your concerned one. "Yes?" He asked, hair wet and matted to his forehead, his shirt only half buttoned up. It was enough to make your face go red, quickly tearing your eyes from his partially exposed chest.

You completely forgot what you were going to say. Brain.EXE has stopped working.

"MC." He hums, catching your attention again. "Uh... I was just checking on you." You blurted out, accidentally being more forward than you wanted. His eyes widened slightly. "Oh. Why is that?" "No reason." Now it was his turn to scoff. "No reason? You're saying you walked halfway across campus for no reason?" "...Yes."

There's a silence between the two of you. It's awkward. Really awkward. "So, uh... you look like you're getting ready for something." You finally speak, noticing the nice shirt. "No." He replies bluntly, your smile falling. "Oh..." You look down, feeling embarrassed. You hear a low chuckle from him, looking back up, eyebrows furrowed upon noticing the amused look on his face. This fucking liar... "You're such a dick." You scoff. "A dick you walked halfway across campus for." Your face burns red again, and you turn to leave, but he stops you, grabbing your wrist and turning you back towards him.

He doesn't say anything for a moment, just looking down at you, flush against his chest. "...Yes?" You finally ask, swallowing thickly. "Would you like to accompany me tonight?" He asked, calm as could be. You're quiet for a minute, just looking at him. "Where are you going?" He shrugs. "Dinner."

And so, you go to dinner. Thankfully, you'd been wearing something decent enough to go to the place he had selected. On the drive there, he tells you his brothers are going to be there. Apparently they have this meet up sort of deal every few months or so, considering they all don't have time to meet up together very often, all of them spread out different places.

Lucifer, of course, was at college, was heir to their estate, and an assistant to a CEO by the name of Diavolo. Mammon and Asmodeus were both away on modeling tours a lot. Leviathan was a famous gamer and voice actor who traveled to conventions a lot to meet fans. Satan was traveling the world and writing a book about all sorts of different cats, Beelzebub was a famous chef and owned a couple restaurant chains, traveling often to keep an eye on them, and Belphie often traveled with him.

You had to admit, you felt a little out of place at dinner, and for a bit there, the brothers definitely seemed a little confused. One asked if you were Lucifer's lover-- *cough* Asmo *cough*-- and when you were confirmed not to, immediately tried to ask you out.

Of course, Lucifer shut that notion down quick. A little too quick for you not to notice.

Aside from that little stunt from the fifth born, things were rather relaxed. Everyone just talked, and relaxed, and soon enough, you fit right in.

During dinner, when everyone was quieter and eating, you noticed Lucifer staring at you. He appeared perplexed. However, the second you noticed he looked away.

To you, you simply shrugged it off. To him... his nice, simple plan started to fall apart. Distract you. Distract you... no, you were distracting him. And strangely enough, he didn't mind.

Once dinner was over, you said goodbye to the brothers, and he took you back to the dorm, just like last week. He bid you farewell just like last time, and turned to leave, but it was your turn to stop him this time. "Yes--?" He began to speak, but was cut off as he felt your lips press to his cheek.

"Goodnight, Lucifer. I'll see you tomorrow, hopefully." You said with a gentle smile before closing the door, a soft blush on your face.

Lucifer could only stand there, staring at the door for a minute. Eventually, he brought his hand to his face, pressing it against where you kissed him. It was confirmed. His nice, simple plan had fallen apart. You were his distraction now.

[darushi-chan]

Helouu, Im back with more content for my HOTD reptiles AU uwu. I’m kind of losing my marbles here, normally I use corel painter to do my stuff, but for some reason the program has been giving me the middle finger really hard, recently I had to replace my graphic tablets pen and I havent used the program in some time, so I don’t even know why now it doesn’t wanna work anymore ;w;, it frezees and crashes and to be able to work I need to save my work like every brush stroke I do, and its just crap. Every time the damn thing died it made a back up and by the time I had like 10 I just couldn’t... so I had to completely change my approach, another program another brush, but I still liked it a lot, just took me a couple days to decide and find something else I was comfortable enough to work with, I’ve been using the same brush for years and I’m really attached to the damn thing, and Corel support its gonna take some time to solve my problem, so I think I’ll just do the whole series of drawings in this new style, tough I really like and miss how my brush usually blends things and argggg, well, I hope you all don’t mind the huge learning curve you will totally get to see while I get used to the new brush and everything, for now I’ll give you an unfinished grandma Vhagar that I was really happy with, but just couldn’t finish for the love of god, and the Jacegon drawing 😄, with little Vermax the jackson chameleon and Sunfire the sulcata tortoise 💕. I think I’m gonna redo the Lucemond first drawing with this stile too, that way it will be coherent and I’ll be able to finish it more to my taste. In case someone needs context here is my first post: https://www.tumblr.com/darushi-chan/709399100359163904/hotd-modern-au-where-everyones-dragons-are-some?source=share

More details for the AU: -Jace and Aegon ran away to Italy and started their own wine company called “The usurper” 😂. -Of course they totally did not buy a vineyard state on a coozy hill with their trust fund, nope. -Oh yes, Sunfire the golden, the official grape tester for the wine, yes...Vermax its there for moral support and to eat any bugs that dare to interrupt them or show in the grapes. -And obviously Aegon had to join to, gotta make sure that wine its just the best of the best for their new company. -Jace may not approve now but he’ll see the light for sure. -Alicent and Rhaenyra are totally giving them money “as investors” so they dont starve while they start the company, like the complete privileged kids they are 😂.

[hopeaterart]

An excerpt from the next Xenia chapter because I think I'm funny. (TW for talks of genitalia mutilation and torture, even if it's in a comedic context)

Hades stared down at the proposal. Then at the proposer. Then back again a few times. Thanatos was next to him, staring at the scroll with a mix of confusion, disgust and terror. Hades closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and asked: “Eris, what in Erebus is this?”

“Eris’ Dick Smasher!” The Goddess of Discord cheerfully answered, seemingly unaware of Hades’ and Thanatos’ consternation. Or, knowing her, she was perfectly aware. “It's written at the top, didn't you see?”

“No no, I saw.” Hades answered, batting her hand away before she could poke at the scroll. “Let's- run this by me so I understand. You think this is an appropriate punishment?”

“He tried to stick it in your sister, right?”

“Please don't make light of him attempting to assault Hera, I haven't see Zeus this mad since the Titanomachy-”

“So I thought,” Eris continued, ignoring Hades’ protests. “‘Hey, if this loser pervert got himself cursed for eternity because he thought he could lay with the ~Queen of the Olympians~, let's destroy his dick!’ What do you think?”

“... It is surprisingly on-topic and coherent from her.” Thanatos noted, leaning down to Hades. “Definitely beats what she suggested we do with Minos 2.”

“Oh, come on!” Eris protested, the feathers on her arms bristling as she angrily gestured. “It's not like he doesn't deserve to be suspended upside down and get his face melted off!”

“Just because he deserves it doesn't mean it's appropriate.” Hades answered. “And this isn't the plans for a torture device designed for genitalia mutilation: this is a crude scheme of two chariots crashing into each other from converging downright slopes with Ixion at their collision point.”

“Yeah, he stands a bit to the side with his dick out and the chariots smash it.” Eris explained. "It's a Dick Smasher, I don't know what to tell you."

“The chariots have your face on them.”

“It's Eris’ Dick Smasher. Gotta leave my signature somewhere or everyone is gonna attribute it to you. Like, Moros is the one who came up with putting Salmoneus under that rock, not you.”

“... Of course. The other scheme you included shows him… erect.” Hades then noted, somewhat disgusted. “How are we supposed to achieve that?”

“Forces beyond his control force him to jack off.” Eris answered immediately, snapping her fingers. “Also, his dick regenerates between smashings. Or else, it's not eternal punishment.”

“Obviously, how silly of me to think you hadn't thought of that.” Hades deadpanned, turning back toward the scroll with a raised eyebrow. “I suppose you thought of something to prevent him from running away in between… dick smashings?”

“I can't believe this is a conversation we're having.” Thanatos muttered under his breath.

“His feet are chained to the ground. With a very short chain.” Eris explained, apparently satisfied with how Hades was paying attention. “He can sit down, but he's not allowed to. If whatever Fury in charge of him catches him, she starts whipping until he's standing back up.”

“That'd be Alecto.” Thanatos informed her. “And you think she'd be alright with this!?”

“You kidding me? Alecto would fucking love this!”

Hades sighed in resignation. “... she really would. Well, Eris.” He then started, slipping back into business mode. “Thank you for this shockingly well thought-out proposal. It will be taken into consideration.”

[better-call-mau1]

Ok I gotta ask: The Timeless art of Bride theft sounds amazing.

Love that you asked about this one!!! 🤣 It might be the WIP I’m most excited about on the list, which is really saying something. The original idea actually came from the summary of @lothcatlovesysalamiri’s From Here On Out — which I’m waiting to read until after I finish Bride Theft. (But her stories are great, and they were some of the first Sabezra fics I read years ago. Definitely recommend them!)

Anyway, just based on the outline I have, this will probably be the longest fic on that WIP list once it’s finished and posted. A snippet alone won’t do it justice, so I’ll give you the rough-draft summary I wrote, an explanation of the premise, and a little snippet. 😁

(Here’s the link to the WIP list for the ask game.)

Summary:

Ezra may not ‘get the whole Mandalorian thing,’ but when Sabine is captured and held by her own clan, he finds himself enrolling in Fenn Rau’s Mando Culture Crash Course while on a desperate mission to rescue her — not only from house arrest or the lurking threat of Imperial collaborators, but an arranged marriage orchestrated by her well-meaning mother.

He’s pulled off a few impressive heists over the years, but stealing a Mandalorian bride on her wedding day is going to take the uj’alayi.

Obviously Sabine isn’t the traditional damsel-in-distress type, but I wanted to write a rescue fic where she, a damsel by definition, is in serious distress — and if anyone is a match for her, it’s her own mother.

The basic premise is that Sabine first goes down to Krownest alone in “Legacy of Mandalore” to smooth things out with her family before giving Ezra, Kanan, and Rau the green light. And just like in the show, Ursa knows that Sabine’s return is bound to bring Clan Wren into the crosshairs of Gar Saxon — but without the Jedi as a bargaining chip, she has to make a calculated decision to keep her family alive (including Alrich, currently a prisoner of Saxon and the Empire). As far as she can tell, the best course of action is to ‘neutralize’ Sabine in the eyes of the Empire by marrying her off to another Mandalorian clan, signaling that she’s given up fighting for good and is no longer a threat.

Shockingly, Sabine isn’t too happy about the idea, not least of all because the prospect of marriage to a total stranger forces her to face the feelings for Ezra that she’s kept buried for some time. Her initial attempt(s) at escape backfire…but little does she know that among the pool of suitors her mother invited to Krownest, there’s a Loth-rat coming to her rescue. 😏

Here’s a little snippet:

“This is great! Just as light as stormtrooper plastoid, but it feels like it can actually take a few hits!”

Ezra clapped his palm against the stark-white chestplate, enjoying the solid smacking noise that filled the cabin of the Phantom II. Vanity may not have been the Jedi way, but he did feel pretty awesome in Mando armor — and he probably looked awesome, too.

“That armor can take more than a few hits,” snorted Rau. Leaned up against the bulkhead, his weariness was as easy for Ezra to see with his own eyes as it was to sense through the Force — having just returned from a brief retrieval on Concord Dawn, the Protector was burdened with a fresh reminder of what happened to his men. “Beskar disperses heat two hundred times more efficiently than durasteel. It’s practically indestructible to conventional blaster weapons.”

“Unfortunately for Mandalorians,” Kanan added, sitting arms-crossed in the copilot’s seat, “Jedi don’t carry conventional weapons.”

“Beskar holds up better against your laser swords than anything else,” Rau countered, his voice carrying a combative edge for the first time since he joined their cause.

Ezra couldn’t really blame him — he felt just as off-balance. Since Reklam Station, Sabine had become a constant steadying presence, a partner he could count on during high-stakes missions like this one…but this mission was for her, to get her back and bring her home.

“Hey, think of it this way,” he blurted out, making an attempt at levity for his own sake as much as Kanan and Rau’s. “As a Mandalorian Jedi, I’m unstoppable!” He reached out with the Force and called his lightsaber from the cockpit. “Rescuing Sabine is going to be easy! If you lent me your spare set of armor sooner, I could have toppled the whole Empire by now!”

Rau grimaced, his expression darkening. “Firstly, wearing that armor doesn’t make you a Mandalorian.” He drew in a sharp breath, the corner of his mouth twitching. “But the armor you have on isn’t mine. I don’t have a ‘spare set’ — that would be considered profane.”

“Then where’d you get all this?”

“Where do you think?” Reaching behind himself, he scooped a clunky object off the cabin bench and tossed it to Ezra. “Until we return this to Clan Saxon, I’m guilty of the highest desecration in Mandalorian culture. And if you’re caught wearing it…I doubt Countess Wren will hesitate to disintegrate you.”

Ezra gaped down at the white Imperial Supercommando helmet in his hands, staring at his reflection in the transparisteel visor.

“Wait…did you take this off a dead guy?!”

[sorry-i-ship-drarry]

Da capo - part 6

Trail post part 1 to 5

Ritenuto (Italian: 'held back')

It was raining.

Harry stared out of the window of the restless night watching the sky pour down over the earthly land. He sat there on the bed, hearing faint hustling from outside in the hallway and the sound of water crashing against the window, he remained there, watching and falling in love. It was easier he realised while his mind wrote down with a quill in his head that Loving was easier, that falling in love was easier, falling out was hard and it's not because nobody tells you how to but because we all fear abandonment, and in love there isn't abandonment. He hates thinking about the night he had to leave Draco because it was easier to just not think about it and even if he hated the easy way, he never complied thinking the hard way because perhaps for once he wanted things to be easy.. Maybe that's why he didn't return, among many other reasons he doesn't know. Among many other reasons he wishes he knew.

He woke up the next morning and being done with morning routine, he realised he had nothing to do. He could visit Arthur but the ward remained close today as he heard clearly yesterday by the nurses. He thought he might go shopping but he always hated the idea of shopping alone. He could maybe take a walk but he couldn't remain on the streets all day and he didn't wanted to disturb the Weasley's anymore, he had already been enough of a trouble to them, in the past and now.

" you could come to the office with me and Ron, they'd love you down there obviously but you can just explore the visitor section"

" ministry is possibly the most boring place to be Hermione " harry rolled his eyes as he shut the last page of the daily prophet and slided the newspaper across the counter.

" it's not all bad alright. Maybe you could even try and patch things up with Ron " Hermione suggested

" I'd much rather not be murdered in his office Hermione " harry replied lazily.

" you can't Just sulk in here harry" she sighed and then just as randomly it hit her " you know what you have to do nothing..but you can help me right ?"

" help you with what ?" He asked strangely curious.

" we have got these old cold cases files that's already been done but nobody is ready to tally them to check which one's closed, which one's are still being worked on and which ones need to be worked on. You can help check them " Hermione suggested.

"I'd rather choke to death mione. I left ministry for a reason " harry rolled his eyes.

" come on-"

" fine" he dragged on " I'll come but I'll be in the visitor's section. I'd wander about and if nothing interests me I'll come back "

Hermione thought for a moment but then nodded and very much regrettably harry left with her soon enough.

Harry was absolutely right about ministry being a very boring place. Hermione was as busy as ever and Ron Definitely didn't wanted to see him, everyone's gawked at him like an old extinct species present in a museum and the visitors section was filled with mostly bunch of kids who came on a trip. Harry was more than ready to just go back home and was walking to Hermione's office when he collided with someone just before her door.

" I'm so sorry- I didn't- Draco?" Harry frowned.

" what are you doing here ?" He asked immediately.

" well- you know I like to walk around here with files and running in circles " Draco joked, harry almost did smile " I work here obviously . I didn't know you were coming "

" oh, Arthur fell sick. I had to visit " harry replied.

" oh " draco replied as though realisation stroke him just then " I heard about that. How is he doing now ?"

" fine " harry nodded.

They remained there awkwardly looking at each other when someone crashed by Harry and his eyes fell onto Hermione's office door.

" listen I - I'm sorry- I gotta go actually. I need to- well talk to Hermione, but meet me soon I guess ?" Harry Suggested.

" oh- no- sure, yeah. Meet you soon then "; harry nodded and walked past Draco, almost about to knock her door when he heard him call out.

" what ?" Harry responded.

" I'm - almost done with work. Wanna go somewhere ?" Draco asked. Harry thought about it for a moment, his mind screaming of how weird it was, how awkward it would be and how incredibly wrong it was to see your ex boyfriend just as a friend.

" sure " instead harry replied.

" wanna come in my office then. I just need to-"

" sure " harry smiled cutting him off before Draco could've even explained but then it didn't matter and they walked into Draco's office.

" potioneer then " harry nodded as he entered his office.

" yeah, I got the opportunity last year and I thought why not. Hermione suggested me. Thanks to her" Draco dismissively replied stashing his files into his bag and locking.

" so why didn't you call when you came ?" Draco asked as he wore his coat, checking his pockets one last time.

" I just came actually, a day before yesterday and things had been busy with making up- meeting everyone and- just things " harry replied pocketing his hands.

Draco understandingly nodded and walked them out of the door.

They made a few small talks as they walked out of the ministry and strolled across a few more streets.

" so- you sold the apartment ?" Harry asked curiously.

Draco looked at harry for a moment before he realised what he meant and shook his head " it's already hard enough to find apartments here, I couldn't afford losing another and I mean it's not that apartment was the reason for everything, right "

Harry understandingly nodded but somewhere they both were welcomed with the fact of how strange it was to be like this, they were pretending maybe but it wasn't easy to just forget everything and yet both were playing their parts to the best.

They walked silently a few more streets both thinking of the same thing yet none dared to bring it up again, after all they had decided that they won't be the ex's who can't be friends.

" you wanna come over to my place, for dinner, maybe ?" Draco offered.

Harry wanted to say no, even almost said no but somewhere in the back of his mind knocked the images of Ron and Hermione and their pity looks or their hesitation in being able to talk. Considering the history it should have been harder with Draco but surprisingly enough, it wasn't as hard and so he responded " sure. Not like I have any other places to be "

Draco nodded and took the turn for his apartment and in not less than 5 minutes they were there as though he had planned to take harry home. They walked up the stairs in deafening silence and didn't utter a single word even when they entered the apartment, it was a doorbell that startle them and defiantly made them talk.

" mrs. Kentucky, how are you doing ?" Draco greeted his neighbour with a huge grin.

" lovely Darling. Wanted to return the sugar I borrowed and - is that Harry ?" She peered a little more through the door to get a better view but as Draco turned around to check on Harry, he vigorously shook his head.

" no, no that's just a colleague. Not a very friendly one at that " Draco Whispered and she nodded.

" not friendly eh, so not gonna date him huh" she mischievously smiled. Draco reddened at her words and immediately took the sashe of sugar and practically Shoved her out continuously thanking her and with a loud thud closed the door.

" she just-"

" I know " harry nodded smiling knowing exactly the kind of gossip lady Mrs. Kentucky was.

" ju- just for the record- I- I didn't bring anyone so there's nothing to-"

" Draco " harry stopped him " it's fine. We're- history " he added.

Draco seemed as though he wanted to say something but didn't and followed into the living room after nodding at harry.

" this place hasn't changed at all" harry said after having glanced the place.

" I- I didn't really feel like the need to " Draco replied.

" you mind if I- change ?"

" no, no of course not " harry shook his head vigorously and turned around to head towards the couch. Draco took it as a cue to get changed fast and join him again in the living room.

Harry despite having initially planned on sitting over the couch, stepped into the balcony and let himself gawk at the view. It's been so long he last saw the beautiful view it offered. The balcony had always been a very peaceful, calm escape especially when things seemed to overweight him; he can remember endless nights he had stood on the balcony because he felt as if something is someone was choking him, like the coil around his neck only tightened and he surged for air and this place had been where he came for a breath. He never was able to understand why everything was the way it was as and when he looked for answers, he couldn't, at least from not where he was. As he stood there watching over the city of London he was hit with strong realisation of how much he actually missed being here, missed the smell of the pizza place down the road and the sound of loud TV from the apartment next door and the lights that flickered on the road by the passing cars and the sight of clock tower, he missed being able to see over such a long latitude and wonder how farther the end is and it wasn't as if he didn't like paris, but paris wasn't London. Paris didn't had that flickering lights going by down the streets or the kids running down the streets on a skateboard or the loud neighbour next door with obnoxious loud TV nor it had the clock nor Paris had that calming grey look in the sky because of the always unprecedented rain about to happen any moment. Paris just wasn't what he thought it was.

" missed this ?" He heard. Harry didn't need to turn around, he just nodded.

" paris doesn't give you this ?" He asked as he stood by next to harry.

" there's a lot of things paris doesn't have " harry mumbled wishing he could explain Draco everything but he couldn't. He waited for Draco to ask why did he leave but he never asked and this is why perhaps tonight Harry was here and not there. Perhaps this is why Harry found it easier to be with Draco because he didn't ask too many questions, because he never asked unless he knew harry wanted to asked, because he understood when Harry didn't feel like talking, because he understood harry like no one else and even when draco should be the last person to understand harry and give him another chance, he did and maybe that's why he was here tonight, in the heart of the City with the one man who's heart was just broken as Harry because he knew harry, when no one else seemed to.

" London is home-"

" and Paris isn't ?"

Harry just shook his head. Paris was everything but home.

Because in paris, there wasn't you. Because there wasn't you in your blue blowy shirt and washed jeans with open arms, there wasn't you..

Part 7

I don't know why the short chapter!!!

300 followers appreciation dialogue Prompt requests open

Angst prompts request open

[wind0wg0blin]

Can you do something with Slashers and a hurt s/o?

I think this will work! Picked my fav boys lmao

Leather face/Thomas Hewitt 

You had been fumbling around in the kitchen late one night. You hadn't bothered to turn on any lights not wanting to wake anyone up with your late night snacking. 

Though all this consideration was for naught as your little toe catches on the edge of a chair that hadn't been pushed in. You let out a sharp cry more so in surprise then in pain. Though it was more than enough to alert Thomas. 

You were awkwardly leaning against the counter holding your foot as you heard the heavy footsteps thundering up the cellar stairs. The overhead light was on in an instant and soon enough that large familiar figure was at your side. 

"Sorry just stubbed my toe is all." You reassured as Thomas loomed over you with a critical gaze, his hands hovering in the space between you. 

A cranky grumble and you were being swept off your feet and carried off back upstairs towards your bedroom. 

Thomas hates seeing you in pain or uncomfortable. By extension you hurting, is him hurting. 

Will drop everything to get something for you or to help you. All you gotta do is ask. 

Please you are going to give him heart problems  

Jason Voorhees 

You hadn't been watching where you were walking. Again. Wandering the woods alone was dangerous normally but these woods in particular. It was only a matter of time before you stumbled and suddenly felt a shocking pain race up your leg. Your foot was sunk into a deep hole, ankle torked at an unnatural angle. 

With no one around for help and no way to call for aid you forced yourself to your feet and made the maddening walk back to your cabin. By the time you made it to the porch you all but collapsed on the steps tears welling in your eyes from the pain. Partially curled in on yourself, you didn’t notice the approaching figure stalking forward from the woods, eyes fixated on your trembling form. 

So distracted by the pain of your now very swollen ankle. It wasn't till you were being hoisted off the ground that you realized you had a visitor. You were quickly carried inside and placed on the sofa while Jason moved off towards the kitchen. You made work of pulling off your boots and jacket biting down on a blanket as you removed the boot from the sore appendage. 

Jason soon returned, placing a bag of ice and a bottle of assorted painkillers in your lap. With reassurance you were now fine and not dying. He gives you a soft wave farewell and lets himself out while you tuck yourself into the couch knowing the trip to your bedroom would not be worth it. 

Isn’t overbearing at all really. He knows you are going to get hurt and the most he can do is be ready to patch you up when you show up later with skinned knees and new bruises from slipping on some wet leaves. 

By no means is he happy with you hurting yourself. He is just realistic with the fact that you are a clutz more often than not and you are not as accustomed to the woods as he is. 

More than happy to help you patch yourself up. He had a lot of injuries as a kid so he knows how to fix someone up and fast. 

The Collector/Asa Emory 

You were too busy looking at your phone, frantically texting some long winded explanation to one of your friends when you missed the top step on the staircase. You couldn't help but scream as you went flipping down the stairs ass over tea kettle before landing at the bottom with a loud crash. You slammed into the small cabinet at the base of the stairs rattling all of the continents within. 

Still reeling from the fall you didn't even hear the rush of foot steps until Asa was at your side looking at you with a shaken expression. Blinking up you wondered why he was so funny looking when you realized that the entire room was spinning. 

You groaned nauseously as you were sat up right leaning back against Asa’s chest as he held your shoulders. He was saying something but you couldn’t even remotely make it out. You’re vision lurched as you were hauled up onto his shoulder and carried off. To where you weren't certain as your vision was just a swirl of the honey brown of the wood floor with the occasional flash of paint from the walls. 

It was at this moment that you felt something sticky and warm on the side of your face. Reaching up you tried to press at your cheek but your hand was quickly swatted away with a sharp voice. Glancing at your fingertip you could see the clear red of blood. Maybe your stumble was much more serious than you initially thought. 

You could feel soft blankets under you as you were set down on what you could only assume was the bed in the spare room. You didn't even try to move as you just laid there and let Asa do all the work. A warm cloth dabbing at your forehead as his hand carefully stroked your hair aside. 

You fell asleep sometime during this, or passed out you're not too sure which. Groaning, you look around to find yourself back upstairs in the master bedroom. The curtains were drawn darkening the room just enough to make it difficult to spot the man sitting off to the side reading by the desk. 

“Good morning. The next time you scare me like that I won’t hesitate to kill you.” Asa stated trying to sound matter-of-fact about the whole thing. You couldn't help but chuckle as you sat up. 

“I might beat you to it if you’re not careful.” With that you were tsked, being pressed back into bed with muttered threats on your life should you get up. 

Very over protective, high key mother hen behavior 

Will die before he admits he cares about you 

In reality you are his most prized and he wants you healthy and happy

He really feels like he needs to baby proof the house for you. Like really it's getting worrisome at this point. 

When he thinks you’re asleep he will kiss your forehead/injury more so to calm his own nerves. Especially if you have some underlying medical condition, he has a hard time remembering you’re not made of glass. 

Brahms Heelshire 

You were in the kitchen getting lunch around. Making quick work of a head of lettuce as you haphazardly chopped through the large leaves with a newly sharpened knife. You had been making a conscious effort to avoid your fingers not wanting to lose one to an accident. Though karma worked its mysterious ways as you jumped in surprise at the loud chime of an unexpected door bell. 

You cursed as you knicked the end of your ring finger a bead of blood welling from the cut. Gumbling you stuffed your bleeding finger into your shirt as you crankily answered the door. The delivery boy attempted to drag out the conversation as he carried in your order though with some random excuse you were ushering him out the door. 

Closing and locking the door behind him you turned back to see Brahms waiting for you at the kitchen island watching you intently. As you approached he held out his hand towards you obviously having witnessed everything that had transpired. 

“It’s fine really.” You reassured as you placed your hand in his. Truly it was, the bleeding had already stopped. The only indication that an accident had occurred was the red line on the pad of your finger. 

Regardless Brahms had an upset look in his eyes. Carefully tugging you closer he pressed the tips of your fingers to the porcelain lips of his mask before letting your hand go content. 

Doesn’t like you getting hurt at all but on the bright side it means he can give you some much deserved love and attention. 

You would do the same for him so why would he not return the favor 

God help you if he finds out that your injury came from a person and not an accident of your own accord. 

Talking him down from murdering or disfiguring this person is near impossible. Your best bet is telling this person to just never come around again. 

If you regularly are hurting yourself on certain things they may or may not just end up going missing. Of course Brahms has not idea where they have gone to. Him take them? He would never, He is a good boy ™ 

[purple-baby-d]

overthinking over you.

Lee Donghyuck (Haechan — NCT) X female reader.

Genre: Fluff, smut.

Word count: 8,672.

Content: student!hyuck, student!reader, sportplayers!nct, kissing, first time sex (male), dry humping, foreplay, fingering, depictions of violence that may be upsetting for some readers, I kinda made Johnny a dick so sorry to y’all beforehand, just some lovely and probably cringey au to have a valentine’s day feast before valentine’s day because I realized I haven’t written an au for my best friend in a while and the 90′s Love era Haechan has been attacking me for long enough so I decided to do something about it.

Brief: Captain of the hockey team, Honor Roll student, an amazing friend and the pride and joy of his parents, Lee Donghyuck certainly has it all to other people’s eyes, but what about the girl he’s dreamed of? No, he’s pretty much a great overthinker for that. But now that she broke up with her boyfriend, will his head get on the way of him getting to her heart?

Dedicated to @theravengoddess, happy Valentine’s day, bestie! I love you and thank you for being with me through the ups and downs 💜

After some long hours of practice, the hockey team was finally sent to the lockers by the coach, the old man’s chest was filled with pride by his back-to-back champion, the Neo Cultural Tech All-Stars. But of course, he didn’t want his players to slack off, so he wouldn’t let them know that.

The man of the hour, Lee Donghyuck, got out of his warm shower to dress up and go home, finding his fellow team players in the lockers. “Hey, nice practice today, Hyuck”, Jeno complimented, patting his shoulder. “Thanks, man. You were quite impressive out there too”, he smiled at him. “You guys wanna crash at my place to study for the finals? My last brain cell died trying to figure out the Algebra study guide”, Mark sighed, pulling his red hoodie down as he slipped his arms into the sleeves. “I’m down, I seriously need divine help for that one”, Sungchan said, tying the laces of his sneakers. “Me too, the question is if our savior will be there to help us”, Yangyang teased, looking at his team captain.

The blonde looked at him with a little smile, shaking his head. “You guys are truly a pain in the ass”, he sighed. “Oh, come on, Hyuck! I’ll pay for the pizza”, Yangyang pleaded, truly concerned about his grades. “You know if I don’t get at least a B, I won’t be able to stay in the team, what are you gonna do without your heartthrob?” he asked while pouting and batting his eyes. “But WinWin has good grades”, Mark teased, making his fellows laugh and Hyuck sigh. “Fine, but if you start staring at your phone instead of studying, I will whoop your ass”, Donghyuck agreed, and the rest of them high-fived each other.

“Ayo, Ten!”, Mark called out, looking at the guy who had just gotten out of the shower. Donghyuck saw something weird in him, he looked as if he was in a rush. “We’re having a group study session at my place, Hyuck will help us with the Algebra study guide, you down?”, he asked. “I’ll have to pass, guys. Johnny is pissed, it seems like he and Y/N broke up”, he said, making Donghyuck stop in his tracks, shocked. “What? What for?”, Mark asked again, concerned for Ten’s stepbrother, the star of the school’s martial arts team. “You know Johnny, she probably found out he cheated on her or something, but I’m still his brother, so I gotta be there for him”, Ten sighed, getting dressed within five minutes with his hair still dripping wet. “Anyways, maybe the next time, take care, y’all!”, he said before rushing out of the lockers’ room.

Jeno looked at his blonde friend, knowing exactly what he was probably thinking. His seemingly hopeless love was finally available again, how exciting was that? However, he looked rather terrified, and it was because his overthinking head was working at full speed.

Oh God, is she okay? Did Johnny hurt her badly? Should I text her? What if she doesn’t wanna talk about it? What if she doesn’t wanna talk at all? What if she doesn’t like boys anymore after this? Irene started dating Seulgi after Junmyeon broke up with her, what if Y/N does that too? Should I go with her? But I already told the guys I would help them... Jesus, Lee Donghyuck, you’re such an idiot.

Lee Donghyuck had many virtues, sadly his biggest enemy was his head.

“Guys, I think we lost him”, Sungchan said, as he saw Donghyuck spacing out. “What?” he said, once he realized his surroundings. Mark patted his shoulder, “Lee Donghyuck, you’re truly one of a kind. If y’all ready, let’s go”, he said, and their group left the lockers and headed to the parking lot, where everyone got into Donghyuck’s black Jeep to head off to Mark’s place. However, the team captain was still thinking about his long-time friend, who he’s had a crush on for the longest time. He simply shook it off, he was a man of his word, so he would help his friends and once they’re done with studying, his head would be clear enough to know what to do.

Because there was nothing better for Lee Donghyuck to clear his mind than a good Algebra study guide.

“Oh, man, thank God it’s over!”, Sungchan yawned, stretching after finishing the last problem of the study guide and the last slice of pizza left on the third box, “I get it all now, how did you do that?”, Yangyang asked, looking at Donghyuck with utter confusion. “Well, it’s quite simple if you actually get your head in it”, the blonde replied, saving the study guide back in his backpack before grabbing his phone, still wandering between texting you or not. It wouldn’t be weird, you’ve known each other since kindergarten and been friends for years. However, your ex-boyfriend, the widely-known playboy Seo Johnny, had kept you from talking ever since you started dating last summer, and honestly, Donghyuck didn’t want you to have problems because of him.

He loved you a lot to do that.

“I’ll see you guys tomorrow, Jeno, do you want a ride?”, you asked the only one within your group you knew didn’t plan on staying over at Mark’s or lived close enough to walk home. Jeno logically nodded, picking up his bag and saying his respective goodbyes. Of course, something seemed to click in Jeno’s head when Donghyuck offered to give him a ride home: you lived in front of his house. Obviously, he wasn’t going to point that out, knowing Donghyuck, he would take back his offer, and he honestly didn’t want to walk the ten blocks that distanced Mark’s place to his.

“You think I should talk to her?”, Donghyuck asked halfway through, looking at Jeno briefly as they got to a red light. Jeno sighed, taking his sight away from the window to look at his friend. “Honestly, Hyuck? You’ve been in love with her since fifth grade, you should gather the balls to tell her once and for all, it’s so fucking frustrating to deal with your overthinking ass head”, he replied, taking a deep breath afterward. What hurt Hyuck the most was knowing that he was right and that even after all those years, he’d always see you run into another guy’s arms.

First, it was Lucas, your boyfriend from sixth to eighth grade. He had a wealthy family and was the school’s fencing champion. And then, it was Johnny, who you’d been with since barely months after you broke up with Lucas. Sadly, it has always been the same for Donghyuck: as soon as he gathers the courage to ask you out, you’d already started dating someone else. You have a long, toxic relationship with the new guy, he breaks your heart, you go to him. It was the routine he was used to, the routine his thoughts reserved for him every time. But after parking his car in front of Jeno’s house, he decided that was about to change.

“You sure you’re okay? I’m sorry if I said something-”, Jeno tried to apologize, but Donghyuck cut him off. “It’s alright, Jen. You said what was in your head and I respect that, mostly because you’re right”, he sighed, looking down for a while before taking a deep breath and reaching out his hand for a small handshake with his friend. “I’ll see you tomorrow”, he grinned, as Jeno got out of the car. “Thanks for the ride, drive home safely!”, the raven-haired boy exclaimed as he walked into his house. Donghyuck stayed outside for a while, and while he did, he sighed as he kept thinking what was the right thing to text you.

But decided to let all of that go, he just typed the first thing that came to his head and pressed sent, locking his phone so he wouldn’t keep looking at it on his way home.

“Johnny is a dick, and I think it’s time for me to say I told you”, Wendy laughed as you simply shook your head. Yeah, they all warned you, it’s true. But the truth also was you never really had super strong feelings for Johnny, nor Lucas, nor for any of the boys you’ve dated before. But then, why would you date them? Because you weren’t a fan of loneliness, and even though most of those guys were assholes —especially and at a ridiculous level, Johnny—, they wouldn’t miss the most stupid excuse to be with you when you were alone, which sadly because of your parents’ job was pretty often. “Yeah, I know I should’ve listened to you, Wen” you rolled your eyes as you threw one of your stuffed animals at your friend.

But as soon as she threw another one back, specifically the bear with the hockey team’s uniform, your eyes were about to bawl out. “Hey, be careful with this one!” you said, making sure it was still in perfect conditions. All of your friends looked at you, quite taken aback by your reaction. However, Demi, your neighbor, smiled a little before explaining your reaction. “All the other stuffed animals were from the idiots, but Lee Donghyuck gave her that one”, she sat next to you, as you both smiled while looking at each other. “Lee Donghyuck? As in the hockey team’s captain, Lee Donghyuck?”, Joy asked, quite excited. You nodded, letting out a small sigh as you thought of him.

“I’ve heard he’s gay, I mean, he hasn’t gone public about a relationship like... ever? And besides, he has rejected every girl that’s asked him out”, Irene said, quite as nicely as ever. “No offense, I mean, I’m obviously an ally... but, how come such a hot piece of cake like him has never dated someone?”. Seulgi looked at her girlfriend, quite shocked at her way to describe him. “Jeno told me he has a crush on someone since fifth grade, but he’s quite an overthinker, he needs to ask his left foot before moving the right one”, Demi chuckled, “But I think that’s cute, he’s been a good friend to Y/N as far as I’m concerned, and if he ever decides to step out of his shell, I bet he will be the exception to the all athletes are idiots rule”.

This last phrase stayed in your mind as Seulgi, Irene, Wendy and Joy left, as they had told Yeri they would go over to her house for a good spiriting session before the cheerleading championship you’d enroll into in a few weeks. You passed, you were scared as hell of those things, and honestly, you preferred to spend some quality time with your neighbor before she went overseas to a musical exchange program. “Ugh, I’m gonna miss you so much, bitch”, you said as you hugged her, making her chuckle. “Hey, I’ll be sending you as many pictures as you want, and I’ll buy you gifts while I’m there, I promise I’ll try every single street food dish London has to offer just for you”, she said, letting out a sigh as she watched through your bedroom’s window. “I’ll miss you and Jeno so much...”, she muttered. You playfully pushed her, “Hey, you’re with your wife right now! Stop thinking about your boyfriend, say you’ll miss me!”, you yelled at her as you both laughed.

Your phone vibrated as a message arrived, and you grabbed it from its previous spot in your bed. As you read who it was from, you simply smiled, something your friend didn’t miss out on. “Let me guess, it’s your gay best friend”, she mocked you, referring to Irene’s comment on the rumors about his private life. You simply looked at her for a second to return your attention to the text.

You typed the answer quickly, quite excited about the fact that he texted you first when it was usually the other way. Demi stared at you while you wrote the message, quite unsure as to why you looked so hyped up.

Hyuckie:

Hey, I heard about you and Seo, I’m sorry.

You felt a pillow being thrown your way, and you looked up only to find your friend looking at you, pretending to be pissed. “Hey, you’re with your wife right now! Stop texting your crush, let’s watch a movie!”, you laughed again at your silly “jealous” attitudes, and ended up turning on your laptop to watch a movie before going to bed.

You:

Hey... it’s fine, I was warned but I still did it.

How are you? I kinda missed you.

Of course, you’d chosen strategically to play the one movie Demi falls asleep watching so you could read Donghyuck’s answer to your texts, and you were a little too excited over it.

Hyuckie:

I missed you too, you should start cheering for the hockey team too!

Would you like to grab a bite tomorrow after class and catch up?

My treat ;)

You:

Are you asking me out?

You asked teasingly, making Donghyuck’s head insane as he laid in his bed, reading your message over and over again thinking about his next move.

Was it too soon? Is it too little? Should I say no? What if she was joking? What if she doesn’t want a date? What if I screw up and she never wants to talk to me again? Reply quickly, idiot! She’ll think you’re ignoring her!

Leaving his thoughts aside, he typed what his heart told him to and sent it, quite to your shock as you read it.

Hyuckie:

If I was, would you say yes?

Biting on your lip as Donghyuck’s hands trembled, you couldn’t hold back a smile. If your friend was right, this would end with the bad streak of dating idiots you’ve had so far, and you’d finally be happy with someone who actually gave you your place. So without thinking it any further, you replied something that made your friend’s heart skip a beat.

You:

Meet me tomorrow after class.

“You asked her out?!”, Jeno exclaimed in shock as he read the small text conversation on Hyuck’s phone. He nodded, and Jeno showed a huge surprised face, “What? I thought that was what you wanted me to do”, the blonde said, quite not getting his friend’s reaction. “I’m just... shocked. I thought it would still take you weeks, days at least. Hyuck, I’m so fucking proud of you!”, he hugged Hyuck as he patted his back. “Damn, our little Hyuck is finally growing up, this and the fact that we slew those Algebra finals is a matter of celebration!” Mark said excitingly. “You just wanted an excuse to throw a party, didn’t you?” Sungchan rolled his eyes, smiling at his friend’s enthusiasm.

“I think I’ll catch up later, I promised Demi I’d be with her tonight”, Jeno sighed. It was a mystery to everyone why he looked so down lately, and it was merely because Jeno wasn’t the sharing type. He liked to keep his problems to himself, in his books it was alright because everyone had their own stuff to deal with. However, quite frequently, the exception to that rule was Donghyuck, but he kept things to himself whenever they were with the rest of the guys.

So once the guys headed off to the library to study a bit more for the rest of their final exams, Hyuck patted Jeno’s shoulder. “I know something’s off, Jeno”, he looked at his friend in the eye, which made Jeno sigh. “Demi is taking off to London for the summer break, and God knows how much longer”, he finally told him. “And I don’t mean to keep her here, because I know that’s her dream, and had it been mine, she’d support me until the very end, but...”, Jeno stared at the ground as they kept walking, not really wanting to say what sounded so selfish in his head, but was truly the only thing that he had in his mind. “You don’t want her to leave”, his friend completed, wrapping his arms around him.

“Jeno, if there’s something I know for sure it’s how much you and Demi love each other”, he chuckled, trying to cheer his friend up. “You’ve been together... God, for as long as I can remember. You’ll survive this, you just gotta let things flow”. Jeno looked up at him with a little smile, “How come you’ve never dated anyone and you still give great dating advice?”. They both chuckled, only for Jeno to look back at him and pat his back, “That’s some great advice, Hyuck, you should follow it too”.

As they reached the exit, both of them went separate ways. Jeno’s words kept ringing in the back of Donghyuck’s head as he walked towards the outdoor field’s bleachers, sitting down as he waited for you still thinking about how he would manage everything. He made an elaborate plan right after finishing the study guide last night, with his mind clear enough to let him make his choices without any further doubts. He took a deep breath and followed the little pre-game ritual he had ever since he started playing hockey: he looked straight ahead and emptied his mind from everything but what he had planned for the day: making sure you knew he’d treat you better than the rest of the idiots you’ve given your heart to.

That was his plan for the most important task he’s had to date.

“Party at Mark Lee’s place tonight, girls!”, you heard Yeri exclaim as you got changed from your PE class in the lockers. The girls looked quite excited and you texted Demi to know if she would come as well, figuring that it would be somewhere in Hyuck’s plans for the night. “Someone looks quite rushed, do you have somewhere else to be?”, Joy asked you, as she slipped her red cropped turtleneck over her head. “I’m going on a date”, you muttered as the other girls looked at you, quite mesmerized. “A date?! With who?” Wendy had the courage to ask, and you smiled as you pointed at Donghyuck’s picture from last year’s yearbook. “Lee Donghyuck?”, Irene gasped, looking at you quite amazed. “Girls, there will be six more weeks of summer this year”. Your friends giggled as you shook your head. “I mean, you’re the first girl he’s asked out like... ever?”. You sighed as you put on some lipstick, blending it with the tip of your fingers.

Seulgi looked at what you were wearing and threw a piece of clothing at you, nearly making you smudge your mascara. “Hey!”, you exclaimed, quite shocked. “You don’t plan on going to Mark’s party later with that, right? Let alone to date the hockey team’s captain”, you looked at your plain red shirt and your white mom jeans, quite confused as you straightened the clothing ball your friend threw your way. “That’s my beloved white furry jacket, it will look cute with that and your matching bucket hat. And it will help you look like you made at least a little effort to look different today”. You dedicated her a little grin as you slipped the jacket on, finding yourself looking like a 90′s teen movie star. “Thank you!”, you told her, walking out the locker room as she yelled one final, “You better take care of it!”.

You jogged your way to the fields as you realized the bell rang twenty minutes ago, afraid of making Donghyuck think you’d forgotten or played with him. A part of you even thought he probably wouldn’t be there. However, you found him sitting in the bleachers, staring at his phone. “Hey, sorry, did you wait too long?”, you asked concerned, only to be greeted by one of his beautiful smiles. He got up, fixing his hair as he rushed down to your encounter, smiling your way. “I was talking to Jeno, I just got here”, he shrugged, a little white lie he made to keep you from feeling bad.

Because that’s how much he loved you.

“Oh, thank God, I was so scared...” you sighed, looking at him with a little smile. “Wow, I’ve seen you every day, yet you look so different”, you grinned, looking at how much his physics had changed from the little kid you remembered: he gained muscles, he was also taller than you remembered him to be, not to mention his golden-tanned skin looked somewhat more tempting than it did before. “Well, you’re still as beautiful as I remembered you to be”, he muttered, picking a lock of your hair behind your ear. That little moment had you feeling those cliché butterflies in your stomach like you’ve never felt them before. “Shall we go now?”, he asked you, reaching his hand out for you to hold.

His hands, good lord. You thought. There was definitely something about them that made you even more excited about holding them. As soon as you held his hand, it felt as if two pieces of a puzzle had been joined. As if the event was long overdue.

You walked over to the parking lot, where your jaw dropped as soon as you saw his ride. “Since when can you drive?”, you asked quite shocked. “I got my driver's license before the last championship, my parents gifted me this after we won”, he replied, opening the passenger’s seat door for you to go inside. “Wow, what a gentleman”, you said, acting as if it was a joke. But the truth was it somewhat made you feel good. No one had ever opened a door for you, and there was Lee Donghyuck, holding your hand to help you get inside his car after he opened the door for you.

Different from other guys you’ve had the chance to ride along with, Hyuck didn’t seem to care about your shoes being dirty when they touched the car, nor about you intending to touch the car. He made you feel as if his car was yours too, and you liked that. He closed the door once you got in and surrounded the car to get in the driver’s seat. You had this stupid smile on your face, and Hyuck noticed that. “What is it?”, he asked you, quite confused but still smiling. You shook your head, “Don’t mind me, I’m just recovering from the algebra test”. He chuckled, as he started the engine, “How come everyone says that? It was a piece of cake compared to the study guide”. You looked at him while laughing, shaking your head lightly. Ever since you were kids, Donghyuck was a genius with numbers. When the teacher asked him, he said it was because he liked to have an answer to problems, and that was when you knew you needed someone like him in your life.

However, due to the situation making you realize things in a totally different way, you surely were questioning the real intentions of that wish.

You stared at him as he focused on the driveway after lending you the AUX cable so you could choose the music, his focus unbothered even with your sort of intense glare. He truly looked like a 90′s boyband heartthrob. His sportslike red and white outfit along with the chains you remember giving him for one of his birthdays a while ago... he looked good. You also smiled a little as you noticed the color coordination you had unwittingly pulled off, you truly looked like a couple... and you liked it.

Donghyuck wasn’t blind, he noticed each one of your smiles but pretended not to since he liked to see you smiling, and his head was certain in the fact that you would try to hide them if he said something about them. “Where are we going?”, you asked him, quite curious about his intention. He wasn’t using any sort of GPS, so he knew where he was going, but that only made you more anxious as to where he was taking you. “Do you remember that place where your parents threw your birthday party in fifth grade?”, he asked, making you look at him with disbelief. “The arcade where I beat you in every single game?”, you giggled. “Yup, that one. I thought it would be nice to go back there, you know... for the memories”, he explained, only to add at the end, “and they also serve some great cheeseburgers”.

The pure definition of the word “nostalgia” hit you as soon as Hyuck parked the car in the place’s parking lot. It was nearly empty, with just some employees going around to check on the games and some people eating in the cafeteria. “Wow, this place is exactly like I remember, they haven’t even changed the games!”, you exclaimed as Hyuck looked at your excitement with loving eyes. You looked at the guy beside you, taking your wallet out of your purse. “Well, the food’s your treat, then mine’s the games”, you said, you didn’t even let him say a word before you went over to the cashier to pay for the coins you’d play with.

The old lady sitting behind the desk looked at you with a kind smile, “That young man came in yesterday when we were nearly closing, he asked us to reconnect some of the old machines, now I get why”, she told you while looking for a few bags of coins, counting them in a machine that later poured them in a little cup. “He sure is in love with you, you’ve got quite a catch of a boyfriend”. You were about to tell her he wasn’t your boyfriend when you turned around, and your eyes found him focused on a crane game, not exactly knowing what he was so focused on getting but certainly going down the memory lane to a 12-year-old Donghyuck pulling an adorable teddy bear out of the game and giving it to you two days later with the hockey team’s jersey and his number in the back.

“I totally agree”, you muttered, smiling as you saw him pulling out the toy he’d gotten. He was so good at those games, at every game being honest. You still couldn’t believe you’d beaten him back in the day. Once the old lady handed you the coin-filled cups, you paid her and she handed you your change. As you counted the money, you realized something was off. “Excuse me, ma’am... you gave me extra change”. She shook her head, looking at you with that same smile. “Half of it is on the house, I let you pay the other half because the young man told me that you were quite stubborn”, she giggled, “Now, go and have fun! Live while you’re young”.

You smiled, thanking her as you walked back towards Donghyuck. He smiled back at your happiness, handing you an adorable stuffed animal. “How come you’re so good at those games?”, you asked him while giggling. “It’s just a matter of space measuring, calculating the probabilities of the toy slipping out or falling off the crane, choosing the most available toy out of the bunch... and I’m boring you”, he smiled nervously as he saw you looking at the toy, an adorable white bear with a red bow. You looked at him again only to find him scratching the back of his neck.

“You weren’t, I like that about you, Hyuck”, you answered honestly. “I hate it when people are overconfident while giving answers to those questions, like when they say ‘I just can’ or that sort of stuff”, he looked at you while you spoke, making you feel listened to. He was truly listening to every single word that came out of your lips as if it was the most interesting speech ever.

Because he loved listening to you.

You spent every single coin playing different games, just like you did when you were kids, breaking your own records in every single machine you played in. You laughed the whole evening, and yet again, you managed to beat Donghyuck in every single game. “Booyah! In your face, twentieth game in a row!”, you mocked him, making your old little victory dance as he smiled, sighing. “Damn, you haven’t lost your touch”, he said, pretending to feel defeated, “Are you hungry yet?”, he asked you kindly. You nodded, and both of you made your way to the cafeteria, as you jokingly bragged about your smashing victory.

The old lady was patiently waiting for you to show up, with two gorgeous bacon cheeseburgers, french fries, and two milkshakes, what Donghyuck had told her to serve you the night prior. You looked at him in shock, “You remember all of this?”, you smiled as you sat down, thanking the lady when she left you your food. “It’s the house’s special, how could I forget it?”, he replied, as if wasn’t anything special. However, you knew deep down his intentions were all the opposite. You started eating, nearly crying at the sensation of memories flooding your head as soon as you gave it a bite. “It’s been so long since I’ve last had a burger this good”, you admitted. It wasn’t pretty usual for you to hang around these places anymore. It was pretty far away from your reach, yet Lee Donghyuck made it his task to make you remember the good old days.

“Why did you bring me here? I want the truth, Hyuck”, you demanded once you were done eating. He looked at you while taking a sip of his strawberry milkshake, swallowing before giving you an answer. “Well, a few years ago, on your birthday, your mother hired an entire show from the old animatronics because your friends loved them”, he started the story, one you certainly remembered. “However, you were scared shitless of them, so you ran out of the room as soon as the lights turned off for them to start the show. You thought no one noticed, but I did. And I ran behind you, only to find you looking at the zombie videogame your friends wouldn’t want to play with you because they didn’t like it”.

He looked at his hands, playing with his fingers as he left out a small chuckle. “Back then, you had this silly nickname for me, because of a bear you saw at the zoo that was named that way”, he said, only for you to complete his sentence. “Haechan”, you smiled, and he nodded. “You looked at me and smiled, and you said ‘Why are you here, Haechan? You should be watching the show, mommy thought you’d like it’. And I took out the coins I had in my pocket and told you-”. “I bet killing zombies with you is more fun”, you muttered, making him smile as you remembered it too. “Mom was so pissed she didn’t find me when the animatronics started singing the birthday song”, you chuckled, making him laugh as well. “That night, as we played, I remember thinking ‘wow, her smile is so pretty’, and it wasn’t until you first made that victory dance of yours that I realized how much I liked you” he confessed finally, leaving you speechless for a second.

You were that girl, you really were the girl Lee Donghyuck was in love with.

“You like me?”, you asked, still shocked. He nodded, not really knowing what to do with his hands. “I’ve been wanting to let you know for the longest time, but whenever I gathered the guts to do it, you started dating someone else. So I decided to keep it to myself, to be there for you as a friend if you needed me. Because even if it hurt me to see your heart break, I wanted to be there to help you fix it”, he explained to you, as the tears started coming out of your eyes. “You mean... when I started dating Lucas... you were planning to confess to me?”, your voice cracked, making him stop everything and reach out to hug you. He wrapped his arms around you and held you close, caressing your back. “Hey, it’s okay. You don’t have to say anything, nor to feel guilty or bad for me. I was upset, I’m not gonna lie... but I also decided to set you free. If you came back to me, it was because it was meant to be. And you came back every single time, so I waited until the right time until I finally decided it was now”, he told you, as you pulled back slightly to look at him in the eyes.

“Hyuck...”, you couldn’t manage to get any words out of your mouth, but he made you feel as if it was okay to leave him hanging after such an adorable confession. You felt like the biggest trash bag on Earth, and the way he treated you made you feel worse and at ease at the same time. “You need to heal, and I get that. You went through a lot with Johnny, and I know that. I’ll wait until you’re ready if you want me to, and I’ll totally leave my feelings aside if you want me to. I’ll leave it up to you”, he told you, caressing your cheeks and adjusting your hat back in its place. “Mark has a party over at his place, do you want to go?”, he asked you softly, wiping your tears away.

You sighed, looking down for a minute. “Hyuck, I’ll give you an answer, I promise”, you told him, which he let out a little giggle. “It’s truly okay, Y/N. Come on, Jeno told me Mark’s already bragging about his b-boy moves”, he told you, reaching out his hand again after leaving a good tip for the old lady, thanking her again before the two of you left. He always found a way to make you feel better, even when he was probably the most upset.

Because he loved you.

“Yo, Hyuck! You came just in time for another round of beer pong!” Mark greeted his friend as he saw the two of you walking into the party, crowded as usual for one of Mark Lee’s parties. “You guys look fresh! Make yourselves at home, drinks at the kitchen, snacks at the table, dance floor by the pool, and the rooms upstairs are exclusively reserved for the hockey team, so you’re staying over tonight, I’m not asking”. Hyuck looked at him, ��Sure, because you’ll get so drunk tonight we’ll have to babysit you again”. Mark stopped in front of him, patting his shoulder. “You know me so well, Hyuckie”, he said, messing up his hair before going back to the party. “Ayo, Winwin! Let’s go get more booze!”.

You looked at Hyuck. “Do you want anything to drink?”, he asked you, raising his voice slightly for you to listen to him despite the loud music playing in the back. “Just some Coke” you replied, and he nodded, walking over to the kitchen as you looked around for Demi, finding her sitting on a couch near the beer pong table. You hugged her, noticing she looked a little excited. “I want every last drop of the scoop, how did it go?!”, she asked you, her smile nearly going from ear to ear. “He likes me, Dem, I’m the girl Jeno was talking about. And I blanked as soon as he confessed to me”, you said, quite embarrassed. “He planned the most adorable evening ever, he did all of these adorable things for it to be perfect... and I couldn’t even say anything”. Demi looked at you concerned, only to change her expression as soon as her attention drifted to someone walking over towards you. “Girl, I don’t mean to be rude, but we really should-”, she started as she helped you get up, only to be cut off by a voice you knew pretty well.

“I see it didn’t take long for you to go over with someone new, huh?”, he told you, looking at you dead in the eye. “Well, the difference, Johnny, is that I at least waited until breaking up with you”, you replied, certainly not scared of him. “Lee Donghyuck? That shitball, seriously? So you’re messing up with my reputation for being some faggot’s cover?”, he asked you, chuckling at the idea, making Jeno and the rest of the hockey team walk over towards you as soon as they acquired awareness of the situation. “You ain’t not even a quarter of the man he is”, you replied and felt him grabbing onto your neck, freezing at the closeness. “Oh, yeah? That wasn’t what you said when I made you my bitch”.

“Hey, asshole!”, you felt released as someone pushed Johnny off of you. Demi held you protectively as Jeno walked over to the two of you, checking out to see if you were okay. “Oh, if it’s the man of the moment, I was looking for you to give you my congratulations, I guess some people settled with used things”, Johnny mocked, only to receive another push from Donghyuck. “You can say all you want about me, but leave her alone or else”. Johnny laughed in his face, “You? You will beat me? You would risk getting your ass kicked for some wasted-ass bitch? Face the facts, Lee! Lucas used her, I used her, God knows how many more have, she’s a fucking slut-!”, he was about to say something else when Donghyuck threw the first punch, with such strength it left Johnny bleeding. You gasped, knowing well enough Hyuck wasn’t the fighting type, let alone the type to start a fight, let’s not even mention starting a fight with the school’s martial arts champion.

As soon as he got punched, you felt your heart stuck in your throat. He tried throwing punches at Johnny, but the ladder returned them faster and harder. Jeno, Yangyang, Sungchan, and Ten rushed to break down the fight, looking at how Hyuck’s blood started to stain the floor. “Enough!”, Mark yelled walking into his house with Winwin and the booze they went for, with that authority voice that made him so respected and loved by everyone in his class. “Johnny, get the fuck out of my house! I give two shits, you have absolutely no right to disrespect my team captain, nor a friend of mine, nor a lady, not under my fucking roof! Get the fuck out before I call the cops!”, Ten walked him out before he looked for further trouble, mouthing a “sorry” your way. You rushed over to Donghyuck, looking at Mark once you realized how his face was bleeding.

“Do you have any first-aid kit?”, you asked him. “Upstairs, third door to the right”, he guided you. You held Hyuck’s hand and guided him over with you, quite concerned about the mess left. Jeno looked at you, knowing exactly what you were thinking. “We’ll clean this up and keep things going as if nothing happened, you go and make sure he’s alright”, he told you, “That idiot thinks everything so damn much, I can’t believe he didn’t think this through... just go with him, it’s gonna be alright” you nodded lightly. You would, you had to make sure he was alright because that fight made you realize just how different he was from every idiot you’ve dated.

Because it made you realize how much he loved you.

Having taken off Seulgi’s coat to keep it away of the blood, you found yourself tending to Hyuck’s wounds in one of the bedrooms bathroom. However, he looked more concerned about you than he was about anything related to his well-being. “Stop”, you ordered. “Stop what?”, he asked, authentically confused. “You know it’s not the first time anyone slut-shames me, right?”, you told him, passing a cotton bud over a slit in his lip. At least once the blood was off, it didn’t look that bad anymore. “It’s quite curious, due to how many campaigns women around the world hold against it, to think that the first ones to publicly degrade me were all girls”, you sighed, not wanting to look at him as you spoke. “Every girl that liked Lucas, every girl Johnny cheated on me with, every girl who wouldn’t make it past the cheerleading tryouts...”, you cleaned the mess you’d made, throwing every last piece of cotton you’d used into the trash bin.

“At this point, you could even say I’m used to it. I would even hear made-up stories about how I would be up for gangbangs with Johnny and his friends, how I sold some old man my nudes for him to pay my college tuition, how I was the one who made Seulgi and Irene bisexual...”, you finally sighed, letting out the tears you’ve held back so long it started hurting. Hyuck noticed that, and just like he did in the cafeteria, he held you close. “I’m tired, Hyuck”, you finally admitted, and he caressed your hair. “I know”, he muttered. “I’m so fucking broken I’m afraid to break the only guy who’s ever really loved me right”, you cried out, just wanting to let everything out as you pulled away from his hug, wanting to look at him as you confessed what has been going on in your heart. “Because I fucking love you, Hyuck... but I’m not even close to deserving-”.

You were cut off by his lips crashing onto yours, a sweet and delicate kiss was what you got as a response. Once he slowly pulled away, he looked at you in the eyes, his hands lightly resting on your cheeks. “You deserve the universe and more, nothing less”, he muttered. The tingling sensation that kiss left on your lips was something you’d never felt after kissing anyone before. And it was the final push for you to finally give in, for you to finally let yourself be loved.

You pulled him close again, your lips crashing on each other as your hands wrapped around his neck, his hands falling from your cheeks all the way to your waist, hugging you the way you did with him. The kiss felt so natural you just sunk into it, as well as he did. Even when his head was going insane with all kinds of questions, he decided to shut them off and follow his own advice.

He’d let things flow.

You broke apart only to guide Hyuck back to the bedroom, he looked at you as he read through your intentions. “Are you sure about this?”, he asked you, caressing your cheek. You nodded, looking at him with loving eyes. “This is the first time I’m a hundred percent sure I want to do this”, you told him. He took a deep breath and walked over to the door, locking it first than anything. He looked nervous, and what the girls had said earlier came to your mind.

“Is this your first time?”, you asked him, to which he nodded, an adorable blush tinting his cheeks. You smiled at him, he looked so adorable you wondered who was that intimidating hockey player everyone saw in the field. “It’s okay, just guide me wherever you feel like going, I’ll follow you”, you told him as you got close to him again. You learned to be cautious ever since you lost your virginity, you’d taken birth control very seriously since day one because your mother and your friends guided you to do so. So even now, when the moment came, you were calm knowing it would be alright, and you wanted Hyuck to feel that as well.

He held your waist, pulling you closer lightly and guiding you into a kiss that got more intense with time, he pulled away for a while only to sit down on the bed, pulling you into his lap to start kissing you again. Your hands grabbed his cheeks, caressing them as the kiss kept going. His hands ran down your back as the heat started rising between you, Hyuck’s kissing abilities were way beyond average, those lips of his felt like cotton candy against yours, and every time your tongue met his, you felt one step closer to heaven. He pulled you away briefly to strip down his torso, and your hands felt curious to wander around his strong build.

He played with the bottom of your t-shirt, looking at you before doing anything else. “Can I?”, he asked gently, his constant asking for consent made you even more sure you were doing the right thing. You nodded and helped him out pulling the red shirt off, revealing your black plain underwear. Once your tops were thrown somewhere on the bedroom floor, he went back to kissing you, his kisses slowly going down your neck as you reached your back to undo your bra, letting your chest fully naked for him to kiss. He took that as your consent, and his kisses went all the way down to your breasts as his hands caressed your back once more.

Little moans left your mouth as Hyuck started kissing sensitive spots of your skin, the fact that he used his mouth to roam around your skin was enough to make you feel like this was the best you’ve ever been treated in bed, and adding up the amount of love you could practically touch in him made you enjoy everything even more. You could feel something starting to press against your core as you started grinding over Donghyuck’s lap. “Fuck, you’re driving me insane, princess”, he groaned, in such a raspy voice it made you want more. You kept grinding against him, loving the small grunts that would come out of his mouth as he kept kissing you.

From one moment to another, you felt the bedsheets in your back, as Hyuck took off his pants, feeling the pressure of his throbbing erection painful enough to rush things up a little bit. Still, he managed to be somewhat delicate "throwing" you over the bed. Once there was nothing but his black boxers keeping him from complete nudity, he crawled on top of you, looking at the button of your jeans to ask "Can I?". You unbuttoned your pants while looking at the guy with a pretty smile, biting on your lower lip as he smiled at you, undoing the zip and taking the heavy fabric off your legs, then looking at your black lacey underwear to ask yet again: "Can I?". You giggled, sitting down only to reach for his lips.

He kissed back as your hand guided his to your dripping center. He looked at you, as his head made an effort to figure out what to do at this point, but remembering the shows he watched with the guys, he figured to start moving his fingers up and down, to his luck, on what turned to be your clit. Small moans made their way out of your lips, and due to your arousal, his fingers managed to slip inside you. He kissed you as he kept moving his hand at a medium pace until you pulled him away, only to leave him face up over the bed. You looked at him, playing with the elastic band of his Calvin Klein underwear.

"Can I?", you asked him softly, only for him to chuckle in embarrassment. He nodded lightly, making you smile as he watched your every move. Once his boxers were no longer a burden, you sat on his lap, making him curse as you started moving on top of him. "You'll set the pace", you told him, leaning down to kiss on his lips. And as soon as he aligned his throbbing erection to your entrance and slowly entered you, he swore he could see the stars. With his hands on your hips, he commanded you to go slowly, as you both moaned out how good it felt. Nice and slow, an expression you hadn't known before, certainly became your favorite after that night. And you kept kissing through the whole thing.

Because that's how much you loved each other.

After that steamy moment, you laid next to him after he helped you cleanse, your body holding his closely as he kept your hand in his heart and his arms surrounded you, one of his hands playing with your hair. He looked at you adoringly, unable to find fitting words to how beautiful you looked to his eyes in that moment. You closed your eyes for a few minutes, listening to his calm, steady breath and feeling his heart beating under your hand. For a moment, he even thought you'd fallen asleep, and that made everything ten times better to him. You slowly opened your eyes, finding that adorable smile you loved so much.

You smiled back, looking him in the eyes. "I thought you would be tired", you muttered, caressing his chest lightly. "I'm way too over the clouds to fall asleep right now, Y/N", he replied softly, making you lean over to kiss him lightly again. You looked at the hour in the digital clock that sat on the nightstand, it was 1:27 AM and the party seemed far from over. The music was still as loud as it was when you walked into the room to tend his wounds. You chuckled as you thought about the people you'd left downstairs, "Do you think Jeno and Demi are waiting for us?", you asked Hyuck, making him laugh a little. "Well, I hope they sorted things out if they are. Jeno was quite concerned earlier", he sighed, making you think the situation through.

Demi would leave in just a few days for that summer program, and Jeno would stay for the hockey team's summer camp, which was pretty much mandatory if he planned to keep his place as a headline player in the team. You knew how important he was to the team, but you also knew Jeno loved your best friend more than anything. And you knew for fact distance wasn't compatible with relationships.

"I think Jeno bought that plane ticket in the end", Hyuck shrugged, making you look at him in shock. "What do you mean?", you asked him. "Well, ever since Demi first applied for the program, he talked to the coach about it. Of course, the coach took a while to understand his issues, but as soon as we won the championship again, he gave Jeno the greenlight", he explained you, staring at the ceiling as he spoke. "Mark and I offered to help him with the expenses, and the coach even booked him in a good hockey camp in London", he smiled at the thought. "However, he's held back because he knows how much this means to Demi, and he didn't want her to lose focus because of him. If there's one thing the coach taught us well, was to get our head in the game as soon as we entered the field, and he didn't want to keep her from doing that. But I think Demi and him talked about it today, because he looked happy while talking to the guys before the fight".

You looked at him still in disbelief, making him giggle. "Is there something on my face?", he asked, and you jokingly punched him. "I thought he and Demi would break up! How could you know about all of this and not tell me?", he giggled and held you close again, as you "fought back", pretending to be angry. "Don't be mad at me, princess. Jeno had his reasons to keep my love for you a secret from Demi, I had mine not to tell you about this", he asked you softly. "They will be having fun in London, you and I will stay here. I think we should join them downstairs if neither one of us can sleep, just so you can have the tea spilled from them".

However, you shook your head. "No, the door is still locked and I still want some sort of compensation for keeping me from knowing my OTP found a way to make it through the challenges of life!", you asked as you grabbed his cheeks, making him smile and sigh. "Say no more", he said, turning the lamp off before kissing you again.

Happy Valentine’s season, everyone! If you love someone, let them know.

[thegirlwithataser]

hey hey, could you write buck and eddie in a car accident with hurt!buck and love confession from eddie? thank youu

Hi! Thank you so much for this prompt, I hope I did it justice. I really enjoyed writing this, so let me know what you think!

If you have a prompt for anything surrounding 911 on Fox send it to me and I can almost guarantee I'll write it for you!

You can also read this on ao3!

Never Letting You Go

Eddie doesn’t mean to tell Buck that he’s in love with him as the other man bleeds out. It just kind of happens.

They’d been driving back to Eddie’s house after a shift, Buck offering to drive Eddie to and from work while his truck was in the shop. They’d been joking about something Chimney had said during shift when Eddie saw a truck careening towards them, running the red light and going at least seventy-five in a forty-five. Eddie had barely gotten out Buck’s name in warning before the Jeep jolted and everything spun.

Eddie comes back to the present slowly. His vision is blurry and he tastes something metallic. Blood, his mind supplies. His ears are ringing and for a moment he can’t remember where he is.

It all crashes back to him as his vision clears partially. Car accident. They were in a car accident. The jeep seems to be upright, but there’s glass everywhere and the metal frame of the car is bent unnaturally.

Buck, Eddie’s mind screams at him. Where is Buck?

Eddie turns his head, sending a sharp pain to his shoulder as he moves.

His breath rushes right out of him when he looks at his best friend in the driver’s seat. His eyes are closed and there’s blood trickling down his face. Too much blood. Buck isn’t moving and Eddie can’t tell if he’s breathing. Frantically, he tries to reach over to Buck but he can’t move. Seatbelt, right.

Eddie groans as he manages to unclick his seatbelt. He extends his arms, bruised, but not broken, and sighs in relief. He’s able to maneuver himself closer to Buck with some difficulty, forcefully ignoring the throbbing in his head and focusing on getting them out of this. Alive, preferably.

Buck still isn’t moving but looking closely, Eddie can see the shallow rise and fall of the other man’s chest.

“Buck,” he says. His voice is scratchy and desperate but he doesn’t care. Buck has to be ok. He’s going to be. Eddie reaches over and puts his hand on Buck’s cheek. “Buck, come on, I need you to wake up.” Nothing happens. Eddie is panicking now. “Buck! Wake up, damn it!”

Buck doesn’t respond. Eddie drops his hand from Buck’s face and his head rolls to the side. Eddie forces his knees under him on the seat so he can lean over Buck and assess the damage.

Buck’s left arm is visibly broken, but that will heal. Eddie can’t see his legs, so he has no idea if they’re broke or not. He prays that they’re fine, Buck can’t handle redoing the crush injury from the fire truck. There’s blood on Buck’s shirt and Eddie reaches out to pull it up. There’s a long gash on Buck’s abdomen, deep enough that he’s going to need stitches. There’s another cut on Buck’s neck. It looks like it missed the carotid but it’s bleeding heavily. That combined with the cut on Buck’s abdomen and the cuts on his head could mean that he’ll bleed out if they don’t get help soon.

Eddie takes off his own shirt, faintly registering that there’s blood on it. He must be bleeding somewhere, but he can’t bring himself to care right now. “Buck, please, you need to wake up.” Eddie puts the shirt on the gash on Buck’s torso and presses down hard, hoping to stem the blood flow. “Buck,” he sobs, “Buck, you have to wake up. Wake up! Buck, don’t leave me, don’t do this to me. Don’t do this to Christopher. Please, Buck, we need you, I need you. Buck! Please, I love you, you can’t die, not like this.”

Eddie is truly crying now, desperate to hear his best friend's voice, to see the light in his eyes when he laughs.

Eddie hears Buck groan right as he hears the sirens and he nearly sobs in relief. “Buck, that’s it, wake up.” Eddie wipes the blood away from Buck’s eyes, still pressing his other hand over the cut on his stomach. “Come on, Buck.”

“Ed—“ Buck’s voice catches in his throat. His eyes blink open slowly, but only slightly and Eddie lets out another sob.

“I’m here, Buck, I’m right here.” Buck’s eyes flutter closed again and Eddie’s panic is back. “Hey, no, you gotta stay awake for me. Buck, open your eyes.”

With what looks like a considerable amount of effort, Buck opens his eyes. He mutters incoherently but Eddie nods. “I’ve got you, help us coming, you just have to stay awake.”

Buck nods before groaning in pain. A paramedic runs up to the car, bag in hand being followed closely by a firefighter holding jaws. Eddie nearly passed out from relief.

What comes next is more of a blur than anything else. They get Buck out of the car first and onto a stretcher, rushing him over to an ambulance. Eddie goes next, and honestly doesn’t remember much of the ride to the hospital.

Doctors rush around the emergency room as he gets checked out. A few cuts that need stitches and a mild concussion but overall he’ll be fine. He asks everyone that passes him if they know anything about an Evan Buckley but no one will tell him anything.

What if—no. No, he’s not doing that to himself, he’s not letting himself go down that road.

“Dad!” Eddie whips his head around too fast and feels a sharp pain behind his eyes. Chris is coming towards him as fast as he can with Carla’s hand on his shoulder.

“Chris,” Eddie breathes out, deliriously grateful to see his son. He pulls him into a tight hug, hoping he never has to let go.

“Dad,” Chris repeats into his neck, holding him just as tightly. “Are you ok?”

Eddie pulls back slightly to brush a piece of hair away from his son’s eyes and give him a watery smile. “Yeah, buddy, I’m ok?”

Chris nods, looking unsure. “Where’s Buck?”

Eddie chokes back a sob, looking out at the emergency room, then to Carla, then back to Chris. “I’m not sure, but we’ll see him as soon as we can, ok?”

Carla puts a hand on Eddie’s shoulder reassuringly. “I’ll go see what I can find out.”

She disappears around the corner, presumably to go harass some nurses into telling her what they know. Eddie helps Chris onto the bed and settles back against the pillows, holding his son close. He starts to drift off immediately, even though he knows he needs to stay awake.

“Eddie, oh my god,” Maddie’s voice snaps him back to reality and he stares groggily at her.

“Maddie?” he finally manages to say.

She sighs, eyes roaming over him, obviously trying to assess the damage. “I was on my way to work when they called about Evan. The nurse says he’s still in surgery but directed me to you,” she explains before he’s able to ask.

“Did she say anything else?” Eddie asks, fully awake now and desperate to see Buck.

Maddie shakes her head, looking like she’s barely holding back tears. “No, she didn’t. God, what happened?”

Eddie closes his eyes, fighting back tears as well. “There was a car accident, a truck sped through a red light and hit the driver’s side. I don’t remember much else, but it was bad. I’m mostly fine, a few stitches and a mild concussion but Buck—“ Eddie’s cut off by a sob and he has to look away.

Maddie’s eyes are wide when he finally looks back at her. She nods and clearly puts a lot of effort into composing herself. “He’ll be fine, he has to be. Everyone else should be here any minute,” she says softly. “Chim took Jee-Yun to Mrs. Lee and Bobby, Athena, and Hen said they’re on their way.”

Eddie nods, looking down at Christopher who is sitting silently in his arms.

“He’s still in surgery,” Carla says, appearing around the curtain again.

Eddie nods, thankful that she’s here if nothing else. Maddie looks up at Carla hopefully. “Did they tell you anything else?”

Carla shakes her head sadly. “I’m sorry, dear.”

Maddie nods, shrinking into herself as silence settles over their little crowd.

Eddie’s doctor comes back in a few minutes later and gives him the all clear as long as he follows concussion protocol. Eddie thanks him with less gratitude than he’s probably owed and follows Maddie and Carla to the waiting room with his hand on Chris’s shoulder.

Bobby and Athena rush into the waiting room mere moments after the other four sit down. They both frantic as Carla waves them over.

“What happened?” Bobby asks, his voice desperate.

“You said there was an accident?” Athena adds.

“Eddie!” They all look around and see Hen rushing towards them. She pulls Eddie into a tight hug, looking terrified. “Are you alright? Where’s Buck?”

“I’m—“ Eddie can’t get out the words. He can’t say anything. How is he supposed to explain this to the people he loves, the only family Buck really has he… he can’t.

Carla steps forward, filling them all in on what happened, Eddie’s condition, and what they know about Buck. Eddie sits silently the whole time, barely registering a word.

Chimney arrives a few minutes later and someone must explain the situation to him but Eddie doesn’t hear it, doesn’t notice anything around him.

They sit there in silence for what feels like hours. Dozens of people filter in and out of the waiting room as they all wait for news. Eddie sees a few people crying. Me too, he thinks.

At some point someone must have gone to get coffee because a hot cup is pressed into his hands. He doesn’t drink it.

“Family of Evan Buckley?” a female voice says. Eddie hears it distantly, not registering what’s going on until Maddie stands up shakily.

“That’s us, uh, I’m his sister. This is Eddie, he was in the car with Evan.” Eddie snaps his head up and watches the doctor walk over. She’s wearing a scrub cap.

“Of course, well, Mr. Buckley has just come out of surgery. There was quite a bit of internal bleeding from the accident but we got him fixed up.” The doctor looks at Eddie. “The paramedics told me you stopped the blood flow before they got there. You saved his life.”

Eddie nods, unable to say anything. The doctor gives him a small smile and turns back to Maddie. “He has a few broken ribs, a broken arm, a pretty bad concussion, and more stitches than I’d like to see on one patient but he’s stable. He’s still asleep, but you can go visit him if you’d like. We just ask that you limit it to two at a time.”

“So he’s going to be ok?” Maddie asks, a drop of hope finally seeping into her voice.

The doctor smiles. “He should be just fine. He’s going to need lots of rest and someone to keep an eye on him with that concussion, but he’s okay.”

Maddie sobs in relief. “Thank you. Can you take us to him?” She looks over at Eddie, motioning for him to stand up. He does, on autopilot. His mind is reeling. Buck is okay. He’s alive. I love him.

Eddie follows Maddie and the doctor down the hallway silently. The mantra of Buck is okay continuing in his head on repeat.

Maddie goes in first as Eddie takes a moment to steel himself for the sight that lays ahead.

Buck is unconscious when they walk it, although the doctor had already told them that. He’s hooked up to a heart monitor abd a few other machines are beeping around him but overall he looks better than Eddie expected. He’s breathing on his own, there’s no more blood caking his face. He has bruises up and down the left side of his body and the cuts in his face are still ugly and red but he’s alive.

Eddie doesn’t realize he’s crying until Maddie grabs his hand, forcing his eyes to meet her gaze. “He’s alive, Eddie. You saved him.”

Eddie shakes his head. “He was only on that road because of me, he wouldn’t have—“

“Stop.” Maddie’s voice is firm and there’s a strong emotion flaring in her eyes. “This was not your fault, this is that idiot driver’s fault. You did everything right, Eddie. You saved my baby brother’s life.”

Eddie stares back at her, tears stream down both their faces. Without warning, Maddie pulls him into a bone crushing hug and he winces, pain flaring from where she’d hit a bruise.

“Sorry!” She says, pulling back quickly. “I forgot.”

Eddie manages a watery smile. “It’s ok.”

They each take a seat on either side of Buck’s bed. There’s a cast on his left arm, so maddie can’t grab his hand. Instead, she reaches out and brushes a lock of hair off his face. “You’ve gotta stop scaring me like this, Evan,” she says sadly.

They sit together quietly for ages. At some point, Eddie takes Buck’s right hand in his own and squeezes. He puts his other hand over Buck’s wrist, feels the pulse beat in time with the monitor.

“I told him that I love him,” Eddie whispers. Maddie’s gaze snaps to his face, shock clear in her expression. She doesn’t say anything, simply sits and waits. Eddie takes a shaky breath, staring at Buck’s face. “He was unconscious, back at the accident and I—he needed to wake up. I needed him to wake up, I couldn’t let him die. I wasn’t thinking about anything but keeping him alive and it just—I said that he couldn’t leave me like that because I love him.”

“Eddie,” Maddie says, barely above a whisper. She looks like she wants to say something else but then Buck groans and Eddie feels Buck’s fingers tighten around his own. “Hey, Evan, are you awake?” Maddie asks, immediately moving to rest her hand on his cheek.

Buck makes a noise that almost sounds like a word and his eyes flutter open. He looks around the room slowly, his eyes pausing on Maddie before they land on Eddie. He squeezes Eddie’s hand again and Eddie chokes on a delirious laugh. “You’re awake,” he says, almost in awe.

Buck cracks a small smile. “Did you mean it?” His voice is scratchy and it comes out weak.

Eddie's heart starts beating harder in his chest. “Mean what?”

Buck looks down at their intertwined hands then back up at Eddie. “At the accident. You told me you loved me.”

Maddie stares between the two of them, fighting a smile. Eddie gapes at Buck. “You heard that?”

Buck nods. “Did you mean it?” he repeats.

Eddie is at a complete loss for words. Buck was unconscious, he was dying, he—he heard Eddie? Eddie gives a miniscule nod.

Buck laughs, although it sounds more like a cough. “Good. I love you too.”

Eddie stares at Buck. This isn’t real. This can’t be real. Eddie must have died at the accident because this isn’t possible. “Buck, you—“

“I love you,” Buck repeats, firmer this time. “I’ve loved you for a long time, Eddie.”

And suddenly Eddie is grinning. Buck is alive and he loves Eddie back and none of this should be happening but it is and Eddie is crying again. “God, I love you so much, Buck. I thought you were dead.”

Buck smiles. “I can’t believe you waited until you thought I was dead to tell me you love me.”

Eddie huffs out a surprised laugh. Maddie is looking between them both like she can’t decide if she’s happy or angry. “I didn’t want to ruin anything,” Eddie explains. It feels like an inadequate reason now that he knows Buck loves him too.

Buck rolls his eyes at Eddie fondly. “Is Chris here?” he asks hopefully.

Eddie nods. “Yeah, uh, I can—“

“I’ll go get him,” Maddie says, interrupting him. She shoots her a grateful smile. He’s not ready to let go of Buck’s hand just yet.

Buck comes to stay with Eddie and Chris while he’s recovering. Bobby and Athena offered, since Maddie and Chimney have baby Jee-Yun to take care of, but Buck declines.

“I’d rather be with you,” he says, when Eddie asks.

It’s a long recovery for Buck, Eddie is back at work after a few weeks off. But this is better than when his leg was crushed. Buck isn’t afraid that he won’t be able to return to the 118 this time around. Eddie worries about him all the time, but he knows that Buck has Chris and Carla with him all the time and at night Eddie gets to climb into bed with the man he loves.

Eventually, Buck is completely recovered and asks if he should go back to his apartment. Eddie doesn’t even hesitate before saying no. He just got Buck, he’s not letting go of him. Not ever letting go if he has any say in it.

[noladyme]

La Cuervo - Chapter 14

She is used to the biker-life, having grown into a woman in the familiar embrace of SAMCRO. A bad decision and a gun-shot later, she gets whisked off to Santo Padre, and put under the protection of another club. What is supposed to be a short stint in the Mayan headquarters just north of the border to Mexico, turns into something more; when la quervo begins to develop feelings for el angel - and he seems to return them in kind...

TW: violence, blood, drug use, alcohol, smut, fluff, angst

In the spirit of "The Crown Princess of Charming", this is a story about O.C. Nina and Angel Reyes. It is obviously non-canon, as characters who have passed on on Mayans M.C. are present in it, and others have been excluded completely. Nina is written as a cis-female, but I have tried to keep her race and looks as ambigous as possible. Should you find any of this story offensive, please let me know.

It wasn’t until Nina was alone, that realization struck her. She’d just agreed to leave Angel. Her Angel. The man who had brought her back to life. The thought struck her like a freight train, and she froze in place, almost literally. Her whole body went cold, and she felt like she couldn’t move for the longest time. The light in the room told her she must have sat like that for at least an hour. Finally able to move her head to look down, she looked at the crescent shaped cuts in her palms from her nails. Something wet began dripping onto them, and she found tears had begun running down her cheeks, without her even noticing it. Forcing her arm to reach for the pillow next to her, she took a deep breath, and held it to her face; before a wail like no other left her mouth. She screamed out her agony, not having felt anything like it since she’d been told that Jackson had gone through with his plan to kill himself. It was as if an actual death had occurred again; but this time it felt like her own.

After a while she put down the pillow again, and got to her feet. She opened the cabinets, and began pulling out he few belongings she’d brought to Santo Padre, and stuffed them in her backpack. Then she made the bed, and went into the small bathroom for her toothbrush. It looked so alone there, as if it missed standing next to Angel’s. She tore herself from the thought, and went to put that into her bag as well. Only the gun and her inhaler were left, and she went to pick them up, when she noticed the phone Bishop had given her laying on the counter by the sink. She picked it up, and sat down on the cot again.

She wasn’t sure who to call. No one could change her situation as it was; but she needed something – anything – to help her through. Just a voice to remind her that it wasn’t all for nothing. Looking at Jackson’s journal and the photo of his boys – which she’d saved for last – the answer came to her. She dialed up the number, praying to god that it was still the same as last time she’d used it. The call was picked up at the second ring.

“Hello?”. “Wendy? It’s Nina”, she said. “Hey, Nina. How is everything?”, Wendy replied. Nina heard a ruckus in the background. “Thomas, no more cookies…! Sorry. Someone decided sugar was a good replacement for lunch... Chibs told me you were going to Mexico”. Nina swallowed thickly. “Yeah… No, not really. I’m somewhere else”. “Well, I hope you’re enjoying yourself. What I’d give for a vacation…”, Wendy said. Nina knew she was just kidding. Wendy had never been happier than since she moved to the farm with the boys and Nero. “Yeah, well; vacation is over”, Nina muttered. “I was wondering if I could talk to the kids for a minute”. “Of course! They miss you”, Wendy said. There was another sound of something crashing in the background. “Sorry, I need to give Tommy a bath. No! We don’t wipe peanut butter on our faces…!”. Another crash. “Goddammit. Abel! Come to talk to aunt Nina while I help your brother… Take care, Nina”. Nina couldn’t help but smile a little, as she heard Wendy chase Tommy around the room. There was a short scrambling noise, before someone spoke again. “Hi, aunt Nina!”, a bright, young voice said on the other end. “Abel… Hi, buddy”, Nina said, instantly falling back into tears; but trying to stifle her sniveling. “How are you doing?”. “I’m ok… But Tommy broke my supersoaker…”. “Aw, that sucks. I’m sure he’s sorry”, Nina said. “Yeah, mommy Wendy made him apologize… You sound sad…”, Abel said. Nina wiped her eyes, as if the boy was right there in front of her. “No, I’m not sad. I just smelled your feet through the phone, and it made me cry”, she replied. “No, you didn’t!”, Abel laughed. “When are you gonna come visit? There’s a mule here, and we named him after you, even though he’s a boy; because daddy always said you were stubborn as a mule. And we have a trampoline, which is really cool, ‘cuz you can jump high. When I stretch up my arms when I jump, I’m almost as tall as Nero! And…”. “That’s great Abel. I’d love to see that…”. Nina sighed and closed her eyes, trying to picture the boy in front of her. He’d probably grown quite a bit, even after the picture Wendy had sent her was taken. “Are you being good for mommy Wendy?”. “Yeah, I eat my broccoli and everything. And I help Nero clean the horse-stalls”, Abel said. “That’s good. And you’re doing good in school?”, she asked, having to wipe her nose a bit. “Yeah… Do you have a cold? Your voice is funny”, Abel replied. “No, it’s still your feet, stinky!”, Nina chuckled. She heard bikes arriving on the lot, and felt another crying fit threatening to attack. “Look, buddy; I gotta run. I just wanted to make sure you were ok”. “I’m ok. Come visit us soon!”. “I promise, Abel. I love you!”. “Love you too. Bye!”. Abel hung up the call before Nina could say anything more. She quickly slipped the photo into the journal, and put it in her bag, before getting to her feet to face Angel.

---

The Mayans all looked to be in a good mood, when Nina opened the trailer door to step outside. EZ, Gilly and Coco went to gather the loaded sleep rolls, while Angel turned to look at her; a bright smile on his face.

Daniella came out of the clubhouse, and stood on the porch. She smiled shortly at Nina, before Angel noticed the blonde, and began approaching her. “Dani, we gotta talk”, he said. “Angel!”, Nina called out. He turned around, and looked at her confusedly. “Give me a minute”, he replied. “No. Now”, Nina declared, and stepped back inside the trailer. The Mayans all looked confused at this point, but didn’t intervene. Angel frowned, and gave Daniella a short look. She shrugged, before looking at Nina; palming her phone. Don’t try anything, she seemed to be saying. “Don’t go anywhere”, Angel said to her, and walked towards the trailer. “I’ll be right here, baby”, Daniella said.

Once inside the trailer, Angel closed the door. “Nina, what the fuck? I was just about to…”. “Daniella’s not the snitch. I talked to her”, Nina cut him off. “You what?”, Angel growled. “Girl talk”, Nina said. “She’s just here for you. Not to sell out your club”. She made herself keep an indifferent face while she spoke. “You should give her a chance”. “I’m not… What are you talking about?”.

Nina sighed deeply, and took a step back. “You and me… That was never gonna work out”. He tried to reach for her hand, but she turned around to throw her inhaler and gun into the bag. “Nina… What are you doing?”, Angel asked. “I’m leaving… Going home”, she replied. “Or somewhere else. I haven’t decided yet”. “You’re not going anywhere!”, Angel exclaimed, and yanked her bag out of her hands. “What the fuck is going on?”. Nina clenched her fists to hide the fact that her hands were shaking. Angel wouldn’t let her go unless she did something drastic. She swallowed thickly, and met his eyes with an indifferent gaze. “You people can’t protect me. I’m safer with SOA; what happened to Camille is proof of that”, she said. The furrow between Angel’s brows was deeper than ever. “I wasn’t gonna tell you this, but I talked to SAMDINO. I’m gonna take up Packer’s offer”. Angel looked like he’d been punched in the gut with a sledgehammer. “Packer… You wanna go be with Packer…”, he croaked. “Yeah… He’s… We’ve got history”, Nina lied. Angel’s expression was growing pained, but in spite of wanting to take him in her arms, and comfort him, Nina had to continue her ruse. “You said I was too good for this life. I’m not. I just want more than what you can give me. Queen of SAMDINO is the right step for me”.

She tried taking her bag back from Angel, but he threw it behind him; and grabbed a hold of her shoulders. “This is bullshit. What happened?”, he said. “I changed my mind. I don’t want to stay here”, Nina replied. “I’m sorry about that year I owe the club, but I’ll try to get some money, and have Chibs pay you whatever Bishop thinks I owe”. “This isn’t about money. You said you love me!”, Angel said, his voice breaking. Nina couldn’t say she didn’t; the words simply would not form in her mouth. She closed her eyes to avoid meeting Angel’s gaze, and let out a deep breath. “This isn’t about whatever I said or… felt”, she finally said. “We should have ended this the night we first slept together. It shouldn’t have gone further”. “Cuervo…”, Angel tried. “We’re done”, Nina declared, and forced his hands off her shoulders, before pushing past him, and grabbing her bag. “I’m sorry”. She almost ran out of the trailer, knowing Angel would physically try to stop her if she didn’t. “Nina!”, he called after her. She looked towards the porch; and through a haze of unshed tears, she saw Daniella smiling as she went.

Before anyone had a chance to stop her, Nina slipped into the front office, and dug out the small cashbox Chucky kept there. She felt bad for taking money from it, but she needed cash for wherever she was going. A few notes in hand, she ran off the lot, and down the road. Avoiding getting found in Santo Padre was difficult, as Nina had spent very little time away from the scrap yard. She knew she had to work fast to get as far away as possible, as soon as possible. There was no doubt in her mind that Angel would try to come after her – he was probably already on his way – and if he didn’t, Bishop might, to get her to fulfill her one-year promise.

Once out on the main road, she flagged down a car, and convinced the driver that she needed to get to a bus station; because her brother was sick, and she had to go see him. She was only half lying, she realized, as there was really only one place in the world she wanted to go in that moment. She had to go see her brother.

---

It took a little over a day to make the trip back to north California. The cash Nina had taken from the scrapyard could only get her so far by bus, and she had to hitch rides the rest of the way. Each time she heard the sound of a motorbike, or saw anyone wearing leather, she had the instinct to duck her head. She wasn’t sure what she was afraid of. Clearly, her cover wasn’t blown yet. Daniella wanted her alive, and if there was another snitch, they didn’t seem to be focused on her. It might have been the shame of how she’d run; how she’d been too weak to fight Daniella for what she wanted. Then again, that shame would have been greater and even more devastating, if fighting back had meant it would hurt her nephews. Ultimately, she was just distraught; and only wanted to speak with one person – even if he couldn’t reply.

It was just past midnight, when Nina finally made it to Redwood Memorial Cemetery, just outside of Charming. She’d gotten used to the heat in Santo Padre, and it was a cold night. With nothing more than a light jacket to cover herself, she was shivering as she walked down the rows of gravestones. She halted for a moment by a white stone, engraved with the name John Thomas Teller. Taking a moment to brush some stray leaves from the top of it, Nina sent a thought to the man who’d sired one of the most important people in her life; before moving on. Someone had left a bouquet of lilies on Tara’s grave. Her coworkers at St. Thomas, Nina figured. She chided herself for not having visited the grave more often, but coming to the cemetery had been painful the last couple of years. A fresh grave nearby sported multiple flower arrangements, and as no one was around, Nina nabbed a few roses from it, and left them next to the lilies. “Abel and Thomas are loved and safe. Sleep tight”, she whispered to the stone.

The last ten yards she had to walk towards her end goal felt like miles. A cold gush of wind made Nina shudder, and she threw her arms around herself; trying to rub some heat into them.

Jackson’s stone looked lonely, in spite of all the other’s surrounding it. It was like he had been in the last year of his life; surrounded by people, but alone in his pain. At the same time, it was incredibly peaceful; like it should be. He’d found rest from his torment and sorrow. Nina imagined him riding his bike down an ethereal highway; his father next to him, and Tara riding pivot. “Fucking soppy”, Nina chuckled to herself.

She sat down on the ground next to the stone, and ran her fingertips over the lettering. Jackson Nathaniel Teller. “I miss you…”, she began. She chewed her lips, and wiped away a stray tear. After a moment searching for the right words, she finally sighed. “I am so angry with you, Jackson. You left me… And I love you as well. I love you for everything you taught me about being a good person; which just makes me even more angry, because I’ll never be able to live up to the example you set… I fucked up. I took so many wrong turns after you died; even though I promised… I know you expected more from me, and I’m so sorry; but I’m not strong enough to…”. The stray tears had become two steady streams falling from her eyes. “You said, be happy… And I was really happy for the first time in what felt like forever. But I can’t be happy, and also live up to your example of protecting your family… My family”. She pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes, as if trying to force herself to stop crying. “Your boys are safe, and I’m gonna keep them that way. That means breaking my promise of being happy to you, but I also know it’s what you would do… So, I guess in some way, I’m still doing what you taught me…”. She took a deep breath, and finally the tears stilled.

Nina moved behind the stone, and leaned her back against it; as she had sat back-to-back with Jackson on the roof of the old clubhouse in Charming, before the explosion. She remembered how her whole body would rumble along with Jax’s; as he laughed at whatever ridiculous thing she would tell him about her day – or the time she’d told him she was planning to drop out of high school, and sign up with CaraCara once she turned 18. Yeah, that’s not happening, darlin’. I’ll tie your ass to the seat, until you’re wearing that cap and gown. I don’t wanna see my little sister’s naked ass on camera. It was that conversation, and his response, that made her keep the fact that she’d quit community college hidden for a full week; before Chucky sold her out. A pang of pain struck her heart as she remembered that she hadn’t even said goodbye to the good-humored little man.

After a long moment, Nina began speaking again “I know I can’t live in memories, but it’s the closest thing to happiness that I have now… And I want to tell you about him”. She took a deep breath, almost as nervous as if Jackson would have been able to respond. “His name is Angel… and you would hate him”, she chuckled. “He’s a biker… surprise! Bet you didn’t see that coming… He’s smug, and a smartass; and a horny little shit… He’s also a Mayan… I know! But he’s also… so kind and full of life… and sofucking hot… which is something I guess you didn’t need to know”. She chewed her lower lip, and closed her eyes, seeing Angel in front of her. “He’s got this dimple between his eyebrows when he gets frustrated or confused – which is quite often, if I’m gonna be honest… And he’s so much smarter and warm and lovable than he gives himself credit for. I’ve never felt more loved and cared for, than when I was with him… I mean, I felt that from you, and from Filip and the rest; but… This was different, because I wasn’t just a sister or a friend. I love him. Like love him…”. She frowned. “But it’s over. I had to end it”.

The cold was getting to her, so the shivers from her pain mixed with ones of freezing. She hadn’t eaten or drank anything for more than a day, and she was exhausted. She looked around her, not ready to leave; and not really knowing where to go anyway. Opening her backpack, Nina got out the journal, and opened a random page; running her fingers over the handwritten words. “Know that the decisions that you make effect everyone and everything, along with yourself. It has taken me a long time to realize that, and I wish I would have sooner. And as much as I want to help you, tell you what to do; I can't. Those choices will be yours, and yours alone. The only advice I can give you, is to examine who you are as a person and what you choose as your path in your life. Find your own truth. It will lead you to the things you love”. “I wish you could help me too”, she whispered. “I don’t know what my path is, and I can’t promise to get over this. I can’t promise that I will be happy; and we both know me well enough to know, that I’m not gonna handle this well… So, I’m just not gonna make any of those promises; it wouldn’t be honest of me if I did…”. She clutched the journal against her chest, and fished the .38 out of the bag; holding it in her hand. Nina sat for a long time, just looking at it. “I’m gonna sleep now. And then I’m gonna drink, and smoke, and try to get laid… and do everything else unhealthy, until I can finally become numb enough to… not chose your path”.

She had nothing else to say; simply couldn’t find the words. Instead, she curled up on the cold ground, closed her eyes; and let sleep take her over.

---

“Nina?”. She heard footsteps heading her way. Filip looked down at her disheveled state, and then at the gravestone and the gun in her hand; and his face dropped. “She’s here”, he said. Tig and Happy came up behind him. “Shit, muffin. What happened?”, Tig asked. Happy frowned. “Chibs, why is she here?”. “Not now, Hap’”, Filip said. “Let’s just get her out of here. Get the gun”. One of them scooped her into their arms; she was too exhausted to notice who…

---

The radio was turned all the way up, and she was swaying her hips to the music.

“Nina, get off the counter!”, Filip called out from across the room. He looked almost angry. Nina took a sip of her beer, and stretched her arms into the air. “Why? I thought the party was about to start…”, she laughed. Filip walked over to her, and wrapped his arms around her legs, making her fall over his shoulder. “Yes. A children’s birthday party. This is an ice cream shop, you lush”, he growled, and carried her out the back door; setting her down at the foot of the stairs going up to the actual SAMCRO clubhouse. She noticed Rat smiling apologetically at the arriving guests; which consisted of a group of 7-yearolds, and the flabbergasted mother of the birthday-boy. “Tell them I’m sorry”, Nina whispered very loudly to Filip, before looking towards the mother. “I’m sorry!”, she yelled.

Filip dragged her up the stairs, and more or less threw her on one of the leather couches. “Jesus Christ, Nina…”, he sighed exasperatedly. “We do actually need the front of this operation functioning”. “Pfft”, Nina sputtered. “Everyone in town knows what this place is. You’re leather clad bikers who sell guns, for fucks sake! I need a drink”. She went to get off the couch, but Filip pushed her back down, and took the beer bottle from her hand. “You’ve had enough”, he said. “Get some sleep”. “No sleep ‘til Charming!”, Nina sang. “You’re in Charming", Tig said, having come over from the bar area. He snatched her pack of smokes from her, before she could get them from the coffee table, and held out a glass of water. Nina scrunched up her nose. “Fish pee in that”, she said. Tig sat down, and lifted the glass to her lips. “Don’t make me hold your nose”, he said. The water looked a little murky, but Nina accepted the glass, and drank it all, before throwing it into the air. Filip caught it mid-air, and rolled his eyes. “Buzz-kill”, Nina sneered.

She leaned back in her seat, before suddenly, her stomach began rumbling violently. Tig sprang for a trashcan, and held it in front of her; just in time for Nina to hurl a week's worth of alcohol and Happy’s scrambled eggs into it. “What was in that?”, Filip grunted. “Bit of charcoal”, Tig said. “Better than taking her to get her stomach pumped at St. Thomas’”. “I hate you…”, Nina heaved between two streams of vomit leaving her mouth. “I know, muffin. I love you too”, Tig smiled, and stroked her back.

After what seemed like hours, Nina finally had nothing left inside her to throw up, and she curled up on the couch. “Now I’m sober… thanks”, she said sarcastically. “Give me my cigarettes”. Filip went to get her bag, and dug out her toothbrush; handing it to her. “This is all you’re putting in your mouth for now”, he said. “Add toothpaste. You smell like death”. Nina disgruntledly took the toothbrush from him, and got on her feet to go to the bathroom; grabbing the toothpaste from her bag on the way.

Once she’d finished brushing her teeth, and splashed some cold water in her face, she went back into the bar area. “You’ve kept me here for days. I wanna go back to my apartment”, she said. “You can’t. Lyla’s using it as a set today”, Tig said. Nina groaned. “They’re gonna get porn-cum on my sheets”, she said. “Wouldn’t be the first time. What was that fella’s name again…? Kirk?”, Filip laughed, and went behind the bar to pour himself a scotch, and fill a mug of coffee. Happy and T.O. came up the stairs as they spoke. “I just remember him as; Please-god-no-I-swear-I’ll-never-talk-to-her-again-guy”, Tig said indifferently. “I think Opie took care of that one”. “Nah, that was Jax himself”, Happy said. “He’s teaching history in Milwaukee now”. “The history of his once functioning penis, I gather”, Filip muttered and looked at Nina, who’d sat down by a table. “Did he know you were 17?”. “I was 19!”, Nina sneered. “And his name was… Fuck, I can’t remember… Look, call Lyla, and then take me home!”.

Filip sat down across from her, and slid the coffee over the table. Nina took a welcome sip of it. “I don’t trust you on your own”, he said softly. “Is that why you won’t give me back my gun?”, she muttered. “You remind me too much of your brother at the moment”, he replied. Rage and sadness streamed through her body, and Nina got up; kicking her chair hard, making it fall to the floor. “Then give me a goddamn bike, and I’ll hit the road. There are trucks enough out there!”. She speed across the room, trying to reach the stairs; but T.O. got in her way, and grabbed her shoulders. He pushed her backwards into Happy’s arms. He picked her up like she weighed nothing more than a small child, and deposited her on the couch. He looked down at her with enraged eyes, tears forming in the corners of them. “Don’t ever say that again! Ever!”, he growled. Nina was shook, and suddenly her body began quaking. She sobbed quietly, and covered her eyes with her hands. Happy sat down next to her, and pulled her into his arms. “I’m sorry… I’m so sorry”, she whimpered. “I know, princess”. He rocked her back and forth, and kissed the top of her head.

Nina looked up, and was struck by each of the Sons’ expressions; ranging from sad, to angry, to pained. “I can’t stop fucking up… All I do is hurt people…”, she sobbed. Filip reached his hands out, and Happy released her to take them, and be pulled into the president’s embrace. “You are pure light, my love”, he said, before cupping her tear-streaked face in his hands. “Stop trying to snuff it out… I’m not talking about threatening to off yourself; we both know that will never happen, because we won’t allow it”. He pressed his forehead to hers. “You have to stop thinking of yourself like a failure not worthy of happiness. Stop killing that flame inside you”. “But I can’t be happy…”, Nina croaked. “If I try to be…”. She halted herself. She hadn’t told anyone of her deal with Danielle. “Tell me…”, Filip said. “I can’t”, Nina replied resolutely. “It’s… life or death”.

She pulled herself out of his grasp, and went for her cigarettes; which Tig had put on the top shelf behind the bar. He didn’t try to stop her. “Everything we do is life or death”, T.O. said. It was the first words he’d spoken since he’d arrived, but they were poignant. Nina lit her cigarette, and hesitantly met his eyes. “This is different”, she said. “If it was just… No”. She took a draw of her cigarette, picked up the chair from the floor, and sat down by the table again. “This is how it is now. I’m home, and I’ll try to… be better”.

They were interrupted by Quinn coming up the stairs. He looked around at the emotional faces in the room, and frowned. “Did you guys watch the Notebook again?”, he asked with a smirk. “Whatever; wrap it up. We got the in-laws incoming”. Nina frowned in confusion. “What’s going on?”, she asked. Filip gave her a half smile. “You wanted to go home; didn’t you…?”.

A roar of motorcycles sounded from outside, and Nina looked out of the window. A group of bikes came down the street, led by a brusque looking man on a roadking – handlebars high as the sky.

---

tag: @cole-winchester @doloreschanal

[sofreddie]

Serendipitous Souls 9

Summary: Dean can't believe he forgot.

Characters: Dean x OC!Reader

Warnings: Angst, Fluff

Word Count: 1,760

Dean woke with a start. The cabin was dark and the fire was down to embers. He wasn’t sure what woke him. Y/N was fast asleep beside him and he smiled, kissing her head before slinking from the bed. He threw on his boxer briefs and stumbled to the bathroom. Once done he stopped in the doorway, looking over the cabin in confusion. Something felt off. His sleep addled brain struggled to catch up.

He shuffled into the living area and stared at the front door, his brow furrowed in thought. His gaze traveled down the length of the door to the floor.

No salt line.

Then it clicked.

He was so distracted by Y/N, by this whole thing between them, that he’d lost his common freaking sense. He was wide-awake now as he hurried to grab the duffle with his hunting supplies - thank you Sam - and began putting up basic motel-room protections.

Y/N awoke several minutes later, the sounds of shuffling and hurried movements stirring her. She threw on Dean’s flannel, hastily doing a few buttons, before slinking her way into the living area.

Dean had worked himself into a frenzy. She could see salt lines along the door and windows. Dean was muttering to himself as he took stock of the items in his hunting duffel.

“Dean?” she asked quietly, afraid to disturb him but wondering what had happened. She hadn’t seen this side of Dean yet. The real Deal. The troubled Hunter and tragic hero Dean. She swallowed down the guilt and panic she felt over reality crashing into her again, “You okay?”

He met her eyes with a tired and worried gaze. His jaw was tight and she knew he was upset.

“No,” he shook his head, sighing as he continued sorting his items.

“Is there something I can do to help?” she was trying to tread carefully, knowing how he could be.

He looked up at her again, his gaze softening somewhat when he realized she was wearing his shirt - and only his shirt - and it just barely covered everything. He licked his bottom lip into his mouth, biting down on it, before shaking himself out of it.

“Yeah,” he said, finally packing the items away, seemingly satisfied, “I wanna take you tomorrow to get a tattoo,” he said, dropping the bag to the side and resting his hands on her sides, “This one,” he said pointing to his chest, “Wherever you want. But you gotta get it, okay?”

“Okay,” she agreed easily, “What’s got you so worked up?”

“I didn’t salt the doors and windows,” he stated, clearly pissed with himself, “I’ve been doing this my whole life. I know the routine. But I let myself be so distracted-” he cut himself off, seeing Y/N drop her gaze and fight a pout, “-it’s not your fault,” he insisted, lifting her chin to meet his eyes once more, “It’s not. I just lost focus and I know better. I have to keep you safe. Even if everything seems happy and perfect, I have to assume the worst. To keep you safe.”

“Okay,” she responded again, placing a hand over his heart, “I’ll remember too, okay?” she offered, smiling at him.

He nodded, letting out a sigh of relief at how understanding she was. Of course she is. She’s his other half. He wrapped her in his arms, kissing the top of her head and tucking her under his chin. After several minutes of him silently holding her, she led them back to bed. She let him move her how he needed, finding herself back in the hugging position from before, safely in his arms.

Dean was silent and pensive as they packed up their belongings in the Impala. He was proud of himself for not freaking out as much as he usually would the night before. But something about Y/N made him calmer. Still, internally, he was a mess. He couldn’t stop berating himself over forgetting basic protections. Couldn’t stop worrying about her well-being.

What if something had happened?

What if someone was trailing them?

As they drove to the nearby tattoo parlor Dean had found, their conversation was light. Mostly monosyllabic responses to one another. Yet the air between them still seemed full. She was patient and kind and understanding and Dean didn’t feel he deserved it, but was thankful for it all the same.

As they parked outside the parlor, Y/N was beaming with excitement. Her inner fangirl won this round as she babbled on about the tattoo and where to get it and how she’d thought of getting it before. After much discussion regarding placement - and Dean shooting down suggestions that might have the artist seeing more than he’d like of his girl - she chose to have it on her chest, just like him and Sam. The fangirl won another round.

As she laid back in only her bra, exposing her chest for the artist, Dean stood by vigilantly watching every detail. Of course, the tattoo had to be exact. But Dean was more focused on ensuring the artist was a professional and not taking in his canvas. Luckily for them both, he was, and he finished rather quickly. As Y/N redressed, Dean paid him, before helping her back out to the car.

“Awesome,” she smiled as she examined the tattoo, smiling over at Dean. He returned her smile, thankful she was protected.

“So, listen,” Dean said as he began driving down the road once more. He loved how comfortable she’d become in the car, as if she belonged there. And Dean supposed she did, right beside him. “I talked to Sam this morning. There’s a case not too far from here and he needs some back up,” he chanced a glance at her to see the smile slipping from her face and worry etching into her features, “It should only take a few days, maybe,” he continued.

“O-okay,” she responded, forcing a smile onto her face for his benefit, but he could see right through it.

He sighed heavily, “I can’t stop hunting, Y/N,” he grimaced, having to hash out this talk once more. He was tired of it really. Tired of where it always, inevitably led.

“I know,” she agreed with a slight nod, “I wasn’t asking you to.”

“You’re upset.” He pointed out.

“Not with you,” she sighed, looking out the window at the passing scenery. It always helped her think, “I know you hunt, obviously,” she huffed out, before looking over at him, “I just hadn’t really thought about it much since coming here.”

“Okay,” Dean nodded, licking his lips, “Well, it’s only slightly off our road trip and we can continue the trip after-”

“I know,” she said a little more forcefully, “I know,” she repeated more calmly, “You have a job to do. I get that. I watch you save the world every week!” she exclaimed with a humorless laugh. Dean patiently waited for her to continue, “It’s just…every time you go out I gotta worry if you’re coming back now,” she mumbled with a pout, “And I gotta worry if everyone I come across could be a monster.”

Dean let out a long sigh. She was right. He wanted to comfort her, promising he’ll always come back. Tell her she didn’t have to live in fear. But that was his life. Her worries were valid.

How could he soothe her when her concerns were his own?

“I’ve been thinking about this since Chuck paired us,” he breathed out, “Watching our lives from the comfort of your living room is a lot easier than living it. But you already know so much, which helps more than I can explain. I can teach you things, keep you with me or Sam to keep you safe. But what you already know helps so fucking much,” he breathed out.

“It’s just scary and sobering,” she shrugged, “So I guess I’ll hang back at the motel while you two do your thing?” she asked.

He nodded, pursing his lips, “Yeah, I think that’s best. And maybe you could help with research or something too. We could always use another brain and set of eyes,” he smiled warmly at her and she gave him a small smile in return. “You, uh…” he cleared his throat and shifted in his seat, “You don’t want to hunt…right?”

“You mean do I want to willingly throw myself at things that want to kill and eat me?” she chuckled, “No thanks. I’ll hang back at base and chant ‘Go team’,” she snorted a laugh.

“Good,” Dean released a breath he didn’t know he was holding, “Good, that’s…good.” She giggled and they were silent for a while before she noticed Dean’s face pinched in thought once more.

“What now?” she sighed out dramatically, smirking at him playfully.

“That just seemed too easy,” he explained in a mumble and Y/N looked at him confused before he tried to elaborate, “Just usually there’s arguing, fighting, declarative statements and ultimatums,” he pointed out, “I’ve had this talk, too many times, and whether its a woman or a friend or freakin’ Sam,” he huffed out a laugh, “It’s always, always an argument.”

“Do you want me to argue with you?” she asked.

“What? No.” Dean was quick to defend, “It’s just…last night you calmed me down without a fight and today you’re so agreeable and understanding, and still no fight. I don’t like fighting and arguing. It’s just…unusual to not have to I guess is what I mean.”

She shifted in her seat to face him, one leg bent on the seat, an elbow propped on the back of the seat, her head leaning against her fist. “Okay, well, I could argue that it’s dangerous or it’s not just you or a bunch of things, right? But then you’d be all,” she drops her tone and tries to mimic his deep, gruffy voice with an exaggerated pout and Dean can’t help but laugh, “-but it’s my life. Saving People. Hunting Things. The Family Business-” he nods in agreement, a big grin on his face as he continues listening to her, “And we could get all mopey and sad and worry about what might happen,” she lets out a long breath and smiles at him, “Or we can just prepare for the worst, hope for the best, and be happy as much as possible.”

“I like that plan,” he agreed with a nod. She smiles and leans forward, placing a lingering soft kiss on his stubbled cheek.

“Me too.”

Forevers:

@sis-tafics

@lyarr24

@calaofnoldor

@hobby27

@spnbaby-67

Dean Winchester:

@akshi8278

@jerkbitchidjitassbutt

Serendipitous Souls:

@brilovesdeanwinchester

@xhannahbananax03

@440mxs-wife

@crist1216

@deans-baby-momma

[venomous--fics]

Request from Anon: Oh? Did you say Peter B. Parker- can you please do one where the reader accidentally call him Dad? It just sounds like a really funny scenario

A/N: One silly request coming right up! Also, I hope you don't mind the route I took with this-- The idea kinda just came to me when I read this prompt. Basically, the reader is also a spider-person, and will essentially take Peter B places in their universe. So Peter has taken it upon himself to be your "wise" mentor. Either way, I took a wholesome approach to this- Don’t kill me-----

"I think you're ready," Peter sighed as he sat on the ledge of the building.

New York, as usual, was nothing but hustle and bustle. Peter watched the rush hour traffic come to a halt, the evening streetlights flickering on, and he found himself wondering if the city would ever replace the bulbs. What an odd, mundane string of thoughts to have. Guess that happens when you get old.

"I'm not ready." you sat next to him, "I'm definitely going to mess this up." 

"You think I didn't?" Peter looks at you from the corner of your eye.

You were still a kid. He felt terrible, knowing that you were forced onto this pedestal with him. You had told him that you had aspirations of being anything else, but unfortunately fate had other plans. Peter wanted nothing more than to tell you to just go home and to forget about it all, but he also knew that deep down you had already made up your mind.

You were very stubborn in that sense. When your mind was made up, there was no changing it. This city, this world even, needed you to become the next hero. You knew Peter was getting old too to keep going. You wanted him to go home and be with MJ. He deserved it. He earned the right to have a decent life now. 

"I messed up a lot of things." Peter said, "Hell, I probably did more damage than I did good, but..."

You looked at the mask you had in your hands. All of this somehow felt meaningless and meaningful at the same time. It was overwhelming, to say the least.

"Guess that's just how life is." he continued, "You gotta roll with the punches." 

"That's terrible advice." you laughed quietly, still looking down.

"What can I say?" he smiled, "I wasn't exactly prepared to this. Which just proves my point." 

You looked forward, to the horizon. The setting sun was still bright, and the city was drenched in a golden light. Maybe Peter was right. You shouldn't be so worried, because this is just how life is. He did screw up a lot, like a lot, a lot-- But look at him now. Him and MJ are together, they even managed to get a nice place together, MJ has a good job-- Things just work out.

"The universe always has a way of righting itself."

"You really think I'm goin-"

"I know you're going to be fine, kid." He sighed with content, “I know you.”

Peter looked at the same horizon, yet it felt different to him. He was sad that it was time to let go of his alter ego, but at the same time it was peaceful. He had faith that you'd protect this city no matter what. You had told him every story you had about this place. He was absolutely certain that the universe had made the right choice. 

Without thinking much of it, Peter patted you on the shoulder, "You'll do great things for this city." 

"You really think so?"

"I know so." 

You figured that the conversation had come to a halt, so you were about to get up when Peter pushed you back down. You looked over at him with obvious confusion on your face. He moved away and it felt like he was hesitating a little.  

"You good?"

He grabbed your wrists and took off your web shooters.

"Hey!" you protested, "I just made those, old man-"

"They're no good."

"No good? They're brand new."

"Close your eyes." 

You did nothing but stare at him, which caused him to pause. You rolled your eyes and closed them tightly, "There. Happy? Can I have my web shooters back?"

You heard the familiar click and immediately withdrew your hands. You opened your eyes and looked down at your wrists. Instead of seeing your bright, shiny, brand spanking new web shooters, you saw old ones. They had scratches, the latches were a bit loose, the metal was dull and was obviously worn from use.

These were Peter's. He always bragged about how much cooler they were than yours. They were like his pride and joy when it came to his beat up suit. He wanted you to have them? He trusted you that much? 

You couldn't form words.  It's almost like your brain had frozen solid. Every train of thought had come to a screeching halt. 

"I can't take these." you said.

"I want you to have them." Peter sounded proud, "It's only right." 

You, for the first time in a while, surprised him by throwing your arms around him in a huge bear hug. It took him a minute, but he returned the hug. Is this what it felt like? Having kids? Maybe it wouldn't be so bad-

"Thanks, dad."

"You're welcome, kidd-" Peter pulled back, "Did you just call me dad?" 

"What." you did. You quickly stood up and stumbled back, "No way. I think you're hearing things, old man." 

Peter stood up, doofy smile still on his face, "I heard you say 'Thanks, dad.'" 

"I clearly said, 'Thanks...Dude.'" 

"Uh huh." 

"I did." You tripped a little as you got up onto the ledge of the building, "I totally did. Not my fault that you can't hear- I gotta go...Like, right now."

"Of course." 

"My mom's...Totally called me, y'know. I have ...Homework." You walked along the ledge, "And I did not, totally did not, call you dad."

"And I'm the king of France."

Much like a moody teen, you stopped and crossed your arms, letting out a huff, "Why would I call you dad anyways?"

"Because," Peter mimicked you, right down to the way you speak, "You totes see me as one. Just admit it. I'm actually kinda flattered." 

"Pfft. Alright, okay. Whatever helps you sleep at night, old man." 

You wanted to change the subject. You were far too hard headed to admit that you had called him dad. 

"You didn't give me my web shooters." You leaned forward and held out your hand, "Gimme."

Peter rolled his eyes and chuckled as he walked over and put the gadgets in your hand, "You totally did call me-"

You were just embarrassed now, "I did not, man. C'mon." 

"Heard it. Clear as day. Can't fool me." 

You huffed again and adverted your eyes to the gadgets in your hands. You hadn't meant to slip up, but you really did see Peter as a dad. You, again, were way too stubborn to ever say that to his face.

You copied his eye roll, which didn't go unnoticed, "Alright, so what if I did."

"So what if you did." Peter repeatedly slowly. 

"I still have to leave." You shot a web off into the distance, "I'll see you tomorrow. Same time?"

"Actually," Peter cut in, "MJ was wondering if maybe you wanted to go out for lunch with us?"

"Me? Lunch with the both of you? Wouldn't that be..Weird..?" 

"Not unless you make it weird," he replied, "So don't make it weird."

You looked off into the distance at where you web had landed, "Uh, sure. Okay. Just, text me the place." 

Before Peter could respond, you swung away, shouting, "See ya later, old man!”  

"See you later, kiddo." 

Peter turned around and started his journey home, but something completely blind sighted him. Something had crashed into his back and had wrapped its arms around him. He looked down and saw the sleeves of your suit and laughed to himself.

Into his back you muttered, "Okay, bye, dad. Love you." 

Just like before, you quickly disappeared. Peter shouted in your direction, "You did it again!"

A few buildings away he heard your voice shout back to him, "What are you going to do about it?"

"I'm going to appreciate it!" He shouted back, laughing, "Thank you!" 

"You're welcome!" 

Your voice was even farther away. 

Peter smiled the whole way home. 

He was right. The universe does have a peculiar way of righting itself.

[turtle-steverogers]

Team Bonding

fr when was the last time i posted like,,, a fic on here. like a tumblr fic. damn. anyway. ummmmmmmm this is just your.... typical steve freaks out and the avengers are awesome um yah ok ok 

warnings: panic attack, vomiting (basically steve watches the titanic and doesnt have a very fun time)

word count: 2575

-

If Steve was being brutally honest with himself, he was fucking tired of hearing about “the classics”. Irrelevant people butting their noses into his business, tipping him off to what movies were, “the best of the best!” and “absolute must sees!” He appreciated what they were trying to do, but after a while, it felt like people were more or less just trying to garner a slice of his 21st century experience, and quite frankly, he liked doing things better by himself. It was much more appealing to park himself in front of his laptop, nothing but his own quietude to keep him company as he combed through different wikipedia rabbit holes and caught up on movies and TV shows that were apparently crucial to his very existence.

Most were subpar and honestly, he preferred the copious amounts of popcorn he treated himself to on these solo date nights, but some things surprised him. Like Indiana Jones. He liked Indiana Jones. He was neat, and Marion reminded him vaguely of Peggy. 

Still, he supposed he should have seen it coming when Clint came to collect him from his floor one evening, that sort of eager-puppy energy he carried around with him vaguely prickling the back of Steve’s neck.

“C’mon, man,” he was saying. Steve leaned against the door jamb, tired. He was going to concede, but Clint was rambling and Steve knew better than to interrupt him. “It’s, like, certifiably the best love story ever. You need to watch it--”

And there it was again. That fucking claim. You need to watch this! You haven’t seen that? 

No. He hadn’t. He’d been a little busy, you know, being dead.

“--And the acting is all so raw and it’s just-- Leo DiCaprio-- you know who that--”

“--Yes. I saw Blood Diamond--”

“--Oh, you did? Well, anyway, he rocks in this and--”

“Clint,” Steve cut him off smoothly. “I’ll come, don’t sweat it too hard.”

Clint looked positively elated. “You will?” he exclaimed. “Awesome, yeah, it’s gonna be the whole team. I mean, that’s good right? You’re cool with that? You gotta be, you’re the one who mentioned team bonding that one time--”

“Yes,” Steve cut in again. “I’m alright with that. Give me a minute to change, and I’ll be right down?” He was still in his gym clothes from two hours ago. He meant to take a shower, but he’d sort of… ran out of energy. The sweat had cooled by now anyway. He smelled fine.

“Oh! Yeah, no problem.”

Which was how Steve found himself in a pair of sweatpants and an old SHIELD t-shirt, squashed in between Natasha and Bruce on the communal couch. Someone had handed him a huge bowl of popcorn and Steve was pleasantly surprised to find that it was flavored with some sort of cheese powder.

“White cheddar,” Bruce said, holding up a little blue shaker bottle when he heard Steve’s appreciative hum. “They’re, uh, sort of like seasoning, but for popcorn specifically. They come in all different kinds of flavors.”

“Oh, neat,” Steve said, around another handful of popcorn. He liked Bruce. He seemed to get Steve in that quiet, brutally raw sort of way. A quiet kinship. They didn’t talk about it, but he never made him feel condescended, so Steve decided that was okay.

“I think I fixed it!” Tony said, stepping out from behind the ginormous movie screen where, presumably, he’d been fixing a volume problem. The screen had been frozen on the first frame of the movie for nearly ten minutes. “Okay, okay, let’s see…” he pressed play. Music poured through the speakers on either side of the TV, loud enough so that everyone cringed and Steve nearly dropped the popcorn bowl in his haste to cover his ears. He always managed to forget how damn loud the world could be when he let himself get comfortable.

“Sorry, sorry!” Tony hissed, turning the volume down to a much more tolerable level. “Okay, there. Okay, shh everyone. Gotta let Capsicle--”

“--Just Steve, Tony--”

“--Gotta let Just Steve get the full experience.”

Steve rolled his eyes, but settled in to watch.

The film was honestly better than Steve had been expecting, if not a little… itchy in that way period films tended to be for him. The themes of poverty and love were pretty well-rounded, but they hit just close enough that he almost cringed at the far-fetch’d beauty of it. 

Still, his fingers itched for a pencil as Jack guided a pencil over the worn sheaf of paper. The dim light, the faint scratch of the pencil, the forbidden love. It was familiar. Steve could almost smell the salty City air, afternoons spent under the dim lights of candles so they could see even with the curtains drawn-- a semblance of privacy amongst the compact vulnerability of his and Bucky’s shitty little tenement. 

Draw me like one of your french girls, Rose had said, and Steve’s eyes drifted towards the wall, Bucky’s voice echoing through his head.

“‘Course I want you to draw me. I ain’t denying my vanity, Stevie,” he teased, but his eyes were soft. “Pal, you could draw a stick of butter and I’d still wanna watch. It ain’t about me here.”

There was a soft touch to his arm and Steve blinked out of his reverie. Natasha was watching him, a neutral look on her face that Steve had finally learned to recognize as concern. He shook his head minutely, offering her a smile. She nodded and looked back at the TV.

The rest of the movie passed without much excitement. The acting was pretty good and Steve had even gotten to a point where he could recognize the filmmaking as something like revolutionary for the time it came out. He was quicker on the cultural uptake than people gave him credit for, but that was neither here nor there. He laughed with everyone else, let himself grow somber when the atmosphere lent that mood, and generally, it was a nice time. He hadn’t gone to any movie nights before this, but he thought maybe he’d start going to more.

And then the ship hit the iceberg.

Steve wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting. Obviously, he knew of the Titanic-- he knew, historically, what happened to it. But for some reason, it hadn’t quite hit him while watching the movie that he was going to have to see the catastrophe go down.

There was a loud creaking of ice on metal as the collision occurred on screen and Steve felt himself go still-- body rigid and tense as the deafening noise played through the speakers. His heart slammed in his chest and he felt his palms start to sweat. He knew that sound-- he knew that--

--He blinked, shaking his head. Movie. Watch the movie. There was a panicked scramble on screen. Characters rushing to amend the situation, more metal creaking and groaning and breaking as dark, foamy water broke through the sides of the ship and Steve could taste it, he could taste the water flooding into the cabin, hitting him from the left as it took the plane down in a harsh--

--He twitched, shaking his head. He was being silly. There were moments of reconciliation as the scenes rapidly flashed between water flooding the ships cabins and peaceful moments of civility. A calm before the storm. A final dance before death.

I’m gonna need a raincheck on that dance…

There was a sudden crash as water blasted through into the work quarters and Steve jumped, watching transfixed as unforgiving torrents pushed workers over, flooding them, drowning them, and they were falling, slipping, sliding, panicking as certain death met them at the halfway point, and Steve knew it must be cold. So cold. Suffocating and unforgiving as it flooded their lungs, saltier than they probably imagined, heavy and awful and--

“Stark, turn the movie off.”

The room went abruptly silent. Steve realized his eyes were closed, chest heaving as he sat, hunched over his lap, hands fisted in his hair.

The popcorn wasn’t on his lap anymore. When had he moved? He couldn’t breathe and he was so cold and someone needed to save those guys, someone needed to--

“Steve,” a gentle voice cut into the roaring waves crashing in his head. Bruce. That was Bruce speaking. “Can you hear me, Steve?” 

Steve nodded, pulling his hair harder. He couldn’t breathe. Was he drowning again? Surely that was impossible. If Bruce was talking to him, he couldn’t be drowning again, but-- but the water-- and-- and the cold--

“Good, that’s good, Steve,” Bruce. Bruce again. It was Bruce. “Can I touch you?”

Touch. Touch. No touch. He was so cold. He wanted to stop being cold, but he was certain if someone touched him right now, he would lose his goddamn mind. More so than he already had.

“That’s alright,” Bruce sounded steady. Calm. So calm. Why couldn’t Steve calm down? “That’s okay. You think you can do something for me?”

Something… for Bruce? Could he? Could he do anything right then? If he couldn’t breathe, how could he do anything-- and he-- he felt sick--

He opened his mouth to answer and vomited between his feet, straight onto the carpet. Someone in the room hissed sympathetically. Steve wanted to crawl somewhere and die.

“Oh, Steve,” Bruce seemed to be talking mostly to himself, but Steve felt his shoulders climb higher towards his ears. “Okay, Steve, I need you to listen to my voice. Just listen. I’m going to count and you’re going to breathe in time with my instruction, okay? Can you do that for me?”

Steve shook his head, choking on a sob. His chest hurt. Like someone had taken all of his ribs and replaced them with weights, flooding his lungs with-- with water-- and fuck, now he was thinking about the plane again. He felt his breathing tick up higher.

“I want you to try,” Bruce said. “With me. In,” he sucked in a breath. “One… two… three… four…”

Steve tried to suck in a breath, but all he managed to do was send himself into a coughing fit. Bruce kept counting. Steve wanted to tell him to wait-- slow down-- shut up--

He braced a hand over his chest. 

Bruce was still counting.

He wasn’t sure how much time passed, but eventually he found himself matching Bruce’s counts, eyes closed and the heels of his palms braced on his temples as he sucked in greedy, measured breaths. His heart was still slamming hard enough to make him tremble and he could smell his own sick wafting up from the ground, but at least he was breathing on his own.

Bruce trailed off. Silence hung thick in the air, the only noise Steve’s slow, shaking breaths. Shame burned around his ears. He didn’t dare look up.

Tony, predictably, was the one to break the silence. “I’m sorry, Steve,” he said, and Steve was surprised to hear honest regret in his voice. “I was the one who suggested we watch Titanic. I should have thought for more than two seconds about that…”

Steve shrugged. Embarrassment climbed from his stomach to his throat, threatening to choke him. 

Natasha spoke next. “Why don’t you go wash up?” It was an escape-- a way out-- and Steve took it graciously, keeping his head ducked down as he stood on shaking legs and rushed to the communal bathroom.

Inside, he locked the door and braced himself over the sink, splashing warm water on his face. He drank greedily from the tap. His reflection looked like shit-- he’d burst some blood vessels in his eyes, probably while vomiting, and his skin looked sallow and pale. He was trembling, sweat matting his hair to his forehead. He looked how he looked after a nightmare. This, he supposed, had kind of been like a nightmare. Though, he hadn’t been asleep.

Nightmares, he was finding, weren’t strictly exclusive to the nighttime. 

He supposed he’d always known that, though. 

He closed his eyes, bowing his head again. 

His emotions had been fucked to high hell since waking up from the ice. This hadn’t been the first of those awful… fits, and he was certain it wouldn’t be the last, but to have something like that happen in front of the team was a whole new level of mortifying. Fuck. He’d gotten sick. And he’d left it.

He felt the ceramic counter straining under his grip. Scowling, he let go.

He could slip off to his room, lock himself away until he could find some way to sneak out of the Tower and never talk to any of the others ever again. Even in this state, Steve knew that wasn’t viable in any sense. He sighed. Besides, he couldn’t just damn the others to clean up his mess. 

Stowing his pride, he dug some spare mouthwash out from behind the mirror and chugged some straight down, keeping a mouthful and swishing it around before spitting it in the sink. He still felt and looked like shit, but at least his breath would smell like wintergreen. 

The others were still gathered in the communal living room, watching what looked like a kid’s cartoon on TV. There was a distinct smell of cleaner in the air and Steve’s eyes landed on the ground where he’d gotten sick. It was clean. He let his eyes drop to the ground, ashamed.

“I’m sorry,” he said. The cartoon paused. He didn’t look at any of them. “I was going to clean up.”

“Nah, man, the only thing worse than freaking out is having to clean up after yourself while you still feel shitty,” Clint said, and Steve looked up. There was no pity in his gaze, only understanding. 

“Yeah, we’ve all been there,” Tony said. “Sucks, but hey, least we know now that Titanic is a no-no for you.”

Steve flushed, swallowing a few times. “Um, I guess,” he looked at Bruce. “Thank you.”

Bruce smiled. “No problem,” he said gently. “We’re watching Phineas and Ferb if you’d like to join us, but we understand if you’d like to go rest.”

“Phineas and Ferb?” Steve asked, guilt replaced with genuine confusion.

“Yeah,” Clint said, shoving a handful of popcorn in his mouth. “It’s my go-to when I have a bad day. Nothing like some good old platypus drama to cure life’s woes.”

Steve blinked. “I genuinely don’t know what to say to that.”

Clint barked out a laugh. “Join us, man! Don’t gotta talk if you’re not feeling it, but being alone after shit like that sucks.”

And Steve hadn’t had someone there for him after a breakdown-- not since the war. Not since Bucky. Every ounce of him wanted to run. Hide. Smooth out his face and slip on that mask of stoicism. But maybe… maybe he didn’t have to. Maybe he could let himself have this, if only this once.

“Sure,” he said, voice a little hoarse. He awkwardly sat back in between Natasha and Bruce.

Tony pressed play again and Steve smoothed his hands over his thighs, feeling out of place and a little cramped and--

Natasha settled, casually letting her feet rest on his lap. On his other side, Bruce leaned into his shoulder, a subtle, grounding pressure. Clint caught his eye and offered him some more popcorn.

Steve relaxed.

Yeah. He could let himself have this.

-

thanks for reading, chiefs

yeah this was chatted about in one of the awesome discord groups im in so thanks guyysss lol

[mythiccheroacademia]

Is this really better?

A/N: After many requests for a part 2, here it is! I’m sorry I made you all wait so long for more heartbreak but gotta keep y’all on ya toes ;) Before you kill me, take comfort in knowing the final part is in the works. I like sad endings, but I won’t do that to y’all...this time. 

Also, the class 1-A girls really rep the “chicks before dicks” motto (as all women should). I remember I had to tell my friends to chill when I told them an ex of mine cheated on me. We made up half the class and I wasn’t trying to see anyone cry. It was deep, but it wasn’t that deep💀 So that part is a bit of an anecdote. 

As always, enjoy sugar plums 🖤

Paring: Sero X Fem!Reader

Warning: cursing, angst 

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Is this really better?

The second you stepped out of Sero’s room, there was this relentless buzzing in your ears, filling your head with noise that made your head pound. You could tell someone—maybe Kaminari? Or was that Ojiro? You couldn’t fucking see—was trying to ask you what happened, your tears were thick. Forget hearing him.

All that you could do was walk. Your body had gone into autopilot, it’s only mission to get you out of his proximity, without raising alarm, as quick as humanly possible.

You didn’t know how or when, but soon enough, you threw open the door to the girls’ dorms. It was only 8:00pm, just before Aizawa would preform room checks, so the common room had been cleared to give him the impression everyone was tucked away in bed. It was a blessing. You bolted towards your room, desperate to shove your head under the covers and cry until you couldn’t.

Nearly five sprints down the hallway, you ran into Momo and Mina. The two had just come back from their shower and were talking about the movie the some of the girls were supposed to have later that night. However, they were startled when they saw you stumble back, tears drowning your cheeks.

“Y/N! Girl, what’s wrong!?” Mina asked, quick to hold your arm.

You shook your head, attempting an embarrassingly pathetic smile. “N-nothing. I’m good. I’m just—”

“You’re obviously not,” Momo interrupted, brows furrowing in worry. She took your hand from your eyes, so you had no choice but to leave your face bare. “Didn’t you have a date with Sero? Did something happen?”

The trembling of your lips told them everything they needed to know.

“Sero—Sero and I—"

The mere mention of his name threw you back to the past hour. Now that the buzzing had stopped, you were forced to think of everything that transpired.

Being excited about your date with Sero. Getting ready for your date with Sero. Waiting for Sero. Sero not showing up. Going to Sero’s room. Fighting with Sero. Breaking up with Sero. Sero. Sero. Sero.

Everything that had been built up came crashing down.

Your friends immediately took you into their arms when you crumbled, sobbing into their embrace as your feelings poured out. For a while, you had been so scared that he was losing interest—that school and life had increased his disinterest with you. And when he so quickly, so confidentially, agreed to break up with you, you felt your worst fears come to life. It hurt too much to think about it, so you let your heartbreak fill the air as you wept.

…

For the weekend, you kept to yourself. You only came out when needed. News of the root of your recent behavior got around to the all the 1-A girls and they were determined to keep you as healthy and supported as possible while respecting your wish for space. You were very thankful for them. You didn’t know what you would have done without their friendship.  

When Monday came around, the girls were hyping you up. It would be the first time seeing Sero since the breakup. You knew you looked horrible. Your eyes were swollen, your hair was barely put together, and you looked like you rolled out bed. Because you did. But you appreciated their efforts. Nevertheless, there was something you needed to address before class started.  

“Thanks everyone. But, could I ask y’all a favor?”

“Sure!”

“Whatever you need!”

You scratch the back of your neck. “I don’t want to start anything. I just wanna get through the day. So, maybe just act normal when he comes around, yeah?”

Everyone looked at Mina. She felt cornered.

“What!? It was one death threat!”

The stares get judgmental and she rolls her eyes.

“Fine, ugh. I’ll be…civil,” she sighs.

“Thank you,” you said, giving a small smile. You really did have the best friends.

Not too long after, you heard Sero’s laugh before you saw him. You quickly looked away from the entrance. Luckily, Ochaco was there with a distracting conversion.  

Sero walked in with Kirishima and Kaminari beside him. The trio giggled at whatever dumb joke the blonde cracked. However, he was brought out of his laughter when he saw you. Thinking about the guilt in his chest coupled with the agony of seeing you so…miserable made his heart flare. And not in a good way.

He tried to smile at you, holding onto the tiny ray of hope that maybe you didn’t completely hate his guts, but it was cut off as Jirou conveniently stepped in his line of sight, blocking you from his vision.

He wilted, blinking back the sting in his eyes.

Kirishima patted his back in comfort. “It’s okay, man. We’ve got you.”

“If it helps, I think they’re mad at all of us. On Sunday, Bakugo tried to ask Mina for his water bottle back and she made Ochako text Midoriya to give it to him. Midoriya bro,” Kaminari said. “He was pissed.”

Sero frowned. “Didn’t think it was possible, but now I feel worse.”

Kirishima punched the blonde’s shoulder.

That was how the day went.

You and Sero ignored each other. Your friends would keep you too distracted. It was hard to deal with and there was awkward tension during homeroom. It was like everyone was walking on eggshells with one another. It didn’t help that Todoroki—as dense as he was—asked Momo why you two had been avoiding each other. To make matters worse, you two were within earshot.

It was the first time Momo ever scolded him. He decided to mind his business after that. He didn’t like feeling like an asshole. Midoriya told him it a good lesson into recognizing social cues.

There was also that one time Bakugo confronted you in the hallway and went on a rant about how you and “soy sauce’s” misery was “fucking distracting.” You were so caught off guard that you didn’t have time to defend yourself before an angry cloud of pink got in his face.

Mina’s speech started with, “How dare you—” and ended with, “You insensitive son of a bitch.”

It was also Bakugo’s first in feeling like an asshole. He made the intelligent decision to walk away.

That happened on Tuesday. It was only Wednesday, when you and Sero unintentionally and unanimously exchanged quick, close-lipped, smiles just so your classmates didn’t kill each other. It was uncomfortable and painful, but it was more of a relief to feel the tension in the room subside—if only a little bit.

For the rest of the week, you two tried to be civil. You were to your own devices. Sero thought you looked well on your way to moving on. If he didn’t know any better, you kind of looked happier. More than you had been in a while. A week passed and your eyes stopped swelling. You started putting make up on again and you laughed. You actually laughed.

Maybe Sero did feel hurt that you looked like you were moving on so quickly. And yes, maybe he spent some nights locking himself in his room so he could cry over how stupid he felt for ever letting himself hurt you. Had you always been miserable because of him? Of course, the constant weight in his chest was suffocating to the point that even looking at you made him feel like he’d pass out.

But damn it if your laugh wasn’t the sweetest sound.

If it meant losing his smile, if meant feeling heartache, and if it meant dealing with the fact that he’d never get to kiss you again, then this was for the best

...

At least, that’s what he thought until he came back from his internship to see you on the bench outside of the dorm building. It was late and dark, but the moon was bright enough to cover your skin in a soft creamy glow. It made his heart flutter. 

It was also light enough for him to see the tears in your eyes.

The voice inside his head, his common sense, was telling him to haul his ass in the dorm and leave you alone. He was probably the last person you wanted to see, justifiably. However, it’d be the first time he left you alone to cry. And, that didn’t sit well in his spirit.

That’s how he found himself by the bench, startling you with a soft, “Hey.”

He watched a tear fall and chose to ignore it as you wiped it away.

“Uh, hi?” you replied, voice stuffy with tears.

What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing?

Sero couldn’t look away from you, no matter how bad the tension felt. Your hair texture, the richness of your skin, the unique curve of your lips, the laugh lines on your cheek, the shape of your eyes, the little scar by your temple…God, have you always been this beautiful? Why did he let you go like that?

“I, um, just came back from my internship and um—” you just love sounding like a fucking idiot, don’t you? “—you looked cold. Here, take my jacket,” he whispered, like he was out of breath.

Thank God he was actually wearing one. Sero quickly took off his coat and was about to put it around your shoulders—like he had always done.

But you held up a hand. “It’s okay. I’m fine,” you said.

Of course, he could tell you were uncomfortable by the dip in your voice. Call it denial or plain stupidity, but Sero couldn’t accept your words. He saw the goosebumps on your legs. Now, whether that was from the breeze or something else, he didn’t know.

“Don’t be silly,” his smile was disarming. “Take it. It’s like 50-something degrees.”

“Thank you, but I’m okay.”

Just back away, Sero.

“You know you can just give it to me tomorrow—”

“Sero.”

What are you doing!?

“I really think you should take it—”

“I really don’t think I should—”

Dude!

“If you’re worried about returning it—”

“Like, I said—”

“You can just give it to Mina—”

“I—”

“And—”

“Hanta!!”

Suddenly, he resurfaced. Sero was back in reality, his jacket still in his arms. He blinked, finding the desperation in your watery eyes as you stared back.

What the hell are you doing?

“Please, just…stop,” you whispered. You looked away in fear he’d see the tears falling down your face. “Stop acting like you care.”

There was a pregnant pause before the black-haired hero took a step back, hair shadowing his gaze.

“I’m sorry,” he finally said. His voice was almost carried by the breeze because it was so soft. “I didn’t mean to overstep my boundaries”

You shook your head, still looking away. “It’s fine.”

You just wanted him to leave. So, that’s what he did.

Sero, quietly led himself up the front steps. When his fingers touched the doorknob, he paused.

“Y/N,” he said, one last time.

You looked back, frustrated over his persistence. “What?” you bit.

What you saw made your eyes widen. Sero let his own tears freely fall. But that wasn’t what made your heart stop. No. It was the wide, triangular, smile that accompanied it. Despite the sorrow in his eyes, his smile shined bright and genuine beneath them.

“It can’t be an act if I never stopped.”

With that, he disappeared behind the door, leaving you with nothing but his words.

You buried your face in your hands and cried.

[miki-snake]

📖: freesias are all what you can think of, so much it feels like they’re taking your breath away and crushing your lungs ⭕️: angst, unrequited love, hanahaki disease, mentions of possible death 🔍: 5.2k+

taglist: @sugasugawarau, @drabblily​, @igenll​

A/N: It didn’t come out as angsty as I wanted it to be but well,,, hope you can still enjoy it and thanks to @igenll​ and @drabblily​ for giving me feedback on my work, ily two!

Hanahaki disease is a fictional disease, where flowers are growing inside of your lungs. Starting with coughing up petals and flowers until eventually the flower is blocking all of your airways and you die. 

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

“Alright, let’s meet up today. I gotta tell you some great news!”

You remembered his words as you sat down on the ground, blooming freesias adorning the stretched out field. The infinite blue sky was drowned in streaks of orangey-reds, like clouds dipped into the image of dusk and hung up on earth’s ceiling, leaving them open to dry. It was a picture out of a fairy tale, the scene so serene it felt like you were trapped inside a painting. You had to think about him, Terushima Yuuji, the colorful accents of the landscape reminding you of him. Freesias, his favorite kind of flowers, were holding the meaning of energy and being energetic. Just like him.

He was like the flicking neon lights on the late night streets, the lightning thundering down on the sea, the adrenaline rushing through the veins and the sunlight strays shining through the blinds of your room.

It was always fun to be around Yuuji, seeing him smile and grow into someone he could be proud of. You knew him since you changed to his middle school and up until now you two were like the sun and the moon. Inseparable and completing each other but opposites nonetheless.

He was the light that helped people to grow, the warmth of a sunny evening that would touch the hearts of the ones around him, while you were always swaying between flood and tide, shining only on the ones who couldn’t sleep at night.

Watching him was blinding you, though you couldn’t look away. He was always in the spotlight, not that it was his intention but people were naturally drawn to his outgoing personality and comedic behavior, like moths to the light. He was loud, wild and carefree but it was the silent nights you enjoyed the most.

It was just him lying in the field of freesias, while you made flower crowns out of them, placing them on his disheveled hair as he smiled up at you like he just won a prize. Sometimes he would braid your hair with the flowers inside of them, telling you how it looked good on you and that he wanted to do that more often. It was sure that when the sun goes down, the moon would grace the sky but when you looked at him like that, under the starry lights, it was like the sunlit day and the moonlit night would merge with each other, creating the impossible paradise you two found. Just like the others you were naturally drawn to him like gravity and there was no way you could turn around and leave him. So, you just kept him company until you were sure that he would leave you.

Your feelings for Yuuji ran deeper than any roots of a million years old trees, they were stronger than any natural force in the universe and they weighed heavier on you than any stone you could find on earth.

At first it was a light feeling of a crush, just like a summer breeze making you feel a little lighter when you were around him. Slowly, it turned into something you couldn’t name, it was more than a crush but surely you wouldn’t call it love just yet. It was a tingling feeling in your gut every time he looked at you and a prickling sensation on your skin where he left his touches. Though you were aware of your emotions and the way your thoughts on him shifted, you weren’t ready to approach him as more than a friend.

It was no secret that Yuuji had a great fan base of girls and occasionally boys. He was popular among young and old alike. While you waited and watched how person after person confessed their feelings to him, your inability to own up to your feelings made it harder for you to speak up. The butterflies in your stomach turned into a turmoil of clashing thoughts that crushed you into the ground, making you feel like it was getting harder to breathe.

It felt like he was moving further away and you could only stop him by screaming his name. Of course you two still talked to each other and you acted like everything was totally fine, even though it was quite the opposite of it.  As hard as you tried to call out to him, every time you opened your mouth you just started to cough. Those uncontrollable attacks grew more frequent, especially when you were alone with your thoughts.

The first time you realized that something was definitely wrong was during another one of those coughing attacks and you felt how something fell out of your mouth and into your hand. Opening the fist of yours, you could see something small, something in the color of red but it wasn’t blood, it was something that looked just like a flower petal.

The thought alone was scaring you, how did that even come out of you, no chance a plant would grow inside of your body. At first though, you didn’t want to visit the doctor and chose to take normal medicine to treat your sore throat. The attacks kept coming and going but in front of others you could normally hold yourself back, sometimes you still found one or two petals falling to your feet but never once did you make a doctor’s appointment.

Until on that one particular day.

It was on the weekend, the day just started for you and you already got a phone call from the boy that was haunting your dreams and occupied your mind. He was talking about how the two of you should definitely go to the fields again and he had some exciting news for you to hear.

To be honest, you couldn’t stop the fast beating of your heart, the moment he told you that he had something to tell you. Something inside of you wanted to believe that maybe it would be a proclamation of love at your favorite spot. Of course you agreed to meet up with him and somehow it felt a little easier for you to breathe. Like those "imaginary" branches inside your lungs finally made some space for fresh air to rush in.

Arriving at the agreed time you could already see his figure standing there, hands shoved inside the pockets of the red jacket he always wore. He looked like the same Yuuji as always, he looked like your Yuuji and as he turned around you could see how his face broke out into a bright smile. Instantly a wave of contentment rushed through your body, it was nearly silly that he could make you feel like that. How just one smile, no, just the look of him made your heart beat in the rhythm of your favorite song, your lips lift up into a real smile and your skin prickled in anticipation, feeling every passing gust of wind.

It was bordering on crazy how far you fell for him and that your love was engulfing all of you that you couldn’t even move anymore. Still, you moved forward, ready to fall all over again.

Right when you reached the top he took your arm and pulled you with him, both of you falling into the sea of blooming dreams.

Landing on the ground you could hear the loud and melodic laugh of your friend, obviously enjoying the little stunt you two just performed. You turned your head to the side to catch a glimpse of his face and he took your breath away. He just laid there, eyes closed and laughter tumbling out of his mouth. He looked so genuinely happy it felt like flowers were blooming inside of your chest, the butterflies residing in your stomach flying around.

He caught his breath again and turned to also look at you. Your eyes met and you could gaze into his almond looking eyes, drowning in the comfort he radiated.

Right then and there you wished you’d had the ability to just put the time on hold. You wanted to watch him smile at you like that for the rest of your life, wishing for this moment to never die, a part of you didn't even care anymore if he loved you back. Every fiber of your body just wanted to be by his side, no matter what he thought of you. Still, you couldn’t deny the yearning inside your heart, like a flower that tried to reach out for the sunlight.

Suddenly he sat up, taking your hands into his to pull you up and looked you straight in the eyes. “Alright, I wanted to tell you something important, so could you hear me out?”, he asked you, excitement evident in his voice. Seeing him so earnest made you shudder and you couldn’t trust your voice, so you just nodded your head.  “Great! Actually you’re the first person I’m telling it and yeah… wow somehow I’m nervous.”, he chuckled and the fact that he was nervous directly transferred over to you, making you feel even more jiddy. “Okay, I guess I’ll just tell you. I ehm.. I have a girlfriend! I think you might even know her, she went to the same high school…”, the rest of what he was telling you was drowned out by your roaring thoughts.

Terushima Yuuji. The Terushima Yuuji, your best friend, had a girlfriend? How did that happen? You wished you could listen to what he was saying but no matter how hard you tried to, your mind just slipped elsewhere. The news came crashing down on you, like standing underneath an ice cold waterfall. Honestly, if you’d stand underneath one in that moment, you’d want to drown in it. You fell hard and you fell all over again but you also fell into nowhere, no one ready to catch you. The part in you that hoped to hear a confession from him withered away, petal after petal falling into the pit where the shards of your heart can be found. Well, you did hear a confession, even a confession of love, just not for you.

It felt like roses were wrapped around your bleeding heart, their thorns piercing through it.

You had truly lost him to someone in the past and now there was no way for you to make him hear your voice again. It wasn’t disappointment you felt, it wasn’t anger you felt and it wasn’t sadness. It was a tight feeling in your throat, you felt like you would choke on all the emotions that went through you. You felt restricted and you lifted your hands to your chest, pressing against it to try and relieve the pain you felt.

All your pent up emotions were exploding inside of your ribcage, threatening to rise up your throat, so you only had the choice to either spit them out or to choke on them. You couldn’t hold back the cough, something blocking your throat and you desperately tried to get some air in your lungs. Fear was consuming your mind as it was getting harder and harder for you to control yourself. One of your hands clasped against your mouth because you already feared the sight of colorful petals rushing out of you. You wanted to understand what was going on but you weren’t able to grasp a coherent thought, your body shaking uncontrollably.

The feeling of two hands on your shoulders brought you back to reality and you tried to look at the person holding you. Your sight was blurry due to the tears in your eyes, the pain of barely getting enough air and the ache in your throat causing you to tear up. “Y/n, what’s happening?”, Terushima pulled you up until you were standing, or rather leaning into him.

“Please, do you need water? You have to try and tell me something.”, he panicked and moved you with him downhill. “If you don’t stop we need to get help. I’ll drive you to the hospital.”, abruptly you stood still and shook your head no. It couldn’t be that severe that you really needed to go to the hospital. It’ll probably pass soon, just like always. You wanted to tell him that but you still struggled with stopping your attack. It was never this strong before and you didn’t know why it was now all of the sudden. “Y/n it’s not getting better, I don’t care if you don’t want to go, I’m just gonna pick you up.”, he threatened you and in an instant you felt your feet being lifted off of the ground. He was holding you bridal style and ran towards his car, while you just tried to stay conscious.

I’m sorry but my friend needs help please, she’s been coughing all the time and it didn’t stop for a second!”, you could hear footsteps rushing over to you and a pair of hands guided you through the room. Terushima’s voice rang after you through the hallway, “Wait, I need to go with her!”. His voice sounded so scared and you wanted to turn around, telling him that everything will be fine but you couldn’t. Not only because your body was shaking from all the coughing but also because you knew you couldn’t bear to look at him right now. You heard how a nurse spoke up and tried to calm him down but it wasn’t that easy for you to hear. It was like cotton was pressed against your ears, muffling all the noises around you. Reaching a room, you sat down on a bed and tried to concentrate on what the doctor was talking about to the nurse. It was all in a blurr, your senses slowly shutting down.

The hand that covered your mouth started to lose the strength to stay in place and so a rush of petals came out with your coughs, sinking down and piling up in a mess of your emotions on the white floor. After that you couldn’t really remember much, your mind drifting off into a bitter sweet slumber.

Awoken from a loud beeping sound, your eyes tried to open but the bright light behind your eyelids made it nearly impossible. “Oh, so you're awake.”, a female voice rang in your ear as you turned your head to the side and forced one of your eyes to open up. A woman, probably a nurse, stood next to your bed working on the machine you were apparently plugged to. Trying to push yourself up into a sitting position you heard the nurse talk to you again. “Wait, take it easy. I’m gonna go and get the doctor, so he can explain the situation to you but I need you to stay put alright?”, she exclaimed and before you could reply in any way she turned around and rushed out of the door.

Now you remember, you were in the hospital. Looking over to the spot where the mess of flowers should be, you could see it all gone. Right, somehow your body produced flowers and they were probably the reasons why you had a hard time breathing. At least you were brought into the hospital on time before you choked to death.

Realization hit you like a road truck and you nearly fell from the bed. Terushima brought you to the hospital. He brought you here because you two met up. And you two met up because he had to tell you something important to him. He had a girlfriend.

The twing inside of you came back, the memories of his words rushed into your mind. It was so ridiculous how you got the worst attack with the hardest pain right in the moment he told you he had someone else he loved. It felt like life was looking down on you, cruelly laughing and testing how far a human heart can bend until it would snap in two.

You remembered how the pain bored deep into your bones and how moving and breathing was near impossible. Even though you should probably be concerned about your own health, the hurt of Terushima’s confession slightly overshadowed the uneasiness you felt towards the whole situation.

Terushima Yuuji had a girlfriend and it wasn’t you. His love would shine on someone else so they could bloom under his light and his warmth would bring someone else the comfort of home. He wouldn’t be your Yuuji anymore, he never was. Now, he was just Terushima a good friend of yours, well, more likely your best friend but the thought of being so close to him and not being as close as you wished to be, hurt you too much. People could call you a bad friend but you wouldn’t care because after you leave this building, you need time for yourself to heal.

The sun would go down instead of rising for you and sure, it might have been stupid of you to try and reach the sun, when you were nothing more than the moon. Not to be compared with Icarus, who flew too close to the sun and fell down into the sea in which he drowned. No, you weren’t even close enough anymore to feel the heat of the sun. It was only natural for you to not get close to him because when the sun rises the moon would go down and when it was time for the moon to shine, the sun would move to the other side.

You swam so deep in the sea of thoughts that you nearly missed the pair of footsteps passing through the door. Your eyes followed the noise and you could see the nurse from before but this time a doctor accompanied her.

They didn’t beat around the bush too much, introduced them, asked you how you were feeling and then they dropped the bomb. Apparently, you suffered from a disease called “Hanahaki”, which was a pretty rare disease and affected your respiratory system. More specifically it meant that a flower was growing inside of your lungs and it would eventually lead to the point where the plant would hinder you from breathing or even making it impossible for you to breathe. To say you were confused was an understatement. You sure weren’t working in the field of medicine but never did you hear of the Hanahaki disease. Well, they did say it was rare but it was still unbelievable. What on earth would cause a flower to grow inside of your lungs.

They showed you an x-ray of your lungs. There you could see it, the flower. And not any flower, no, it was a freesia. You’ve seen it so many times you were one hundred percent sure about it. The doctor must have seen the shocked look inside your eyes and fastly continued with his explanation. You weren’t prepared to hear about your disease but you sure as hell didn’t expect what he was telling you next. The reason behind all of this was nothing more than simply love. Unrequited love to be exact. The moment you heard those words coming out of his mouth, you felt how your heart sank into your stomach.

So, this is what you get for loving too hard. Not only a broken heart but also a deathly disease. Just great.

Moving on he told you about the options you had.

Option 1: going under surgery and getting the flower removed, which would cure you and ultimately lead to you forgetting about the feelings you had for Terushima. Still, another side-effect might be to completely forget the person you loved.

Option 2: die. Simple as that, just dying. The plant would keep growing until it blocked every way for you to breath.

After they told you everything you needed to know, they stepped out of the room, giving you some time to think things through.

If you’d go under the surgery you would be able to be alive and even get to free yourself from the pain you felt due to the unrequited love. You would forget every single ounce of love you harboured for him. Though the risk would be there for you to forget him as a person as well.

Every memory you had would be erased and he wouldn’t be your friend anymore, only a stranger. Is this what they should’ve been from the beginning? Nothing but perfect strangers? Losing him as your possible partner was hard and painful but losing him completely? That was like losing the only possibility for you to catch a glimpse of sunlight. You didn’t want to be stuck in the dark without him. Sure, there was the possibility that you wouldn’t forget him and even if you did, you wouldn’t remember it and so there would be no feelings of a loss, right?

Things could go so easy and you could just move on from the spot you were currently rooted in and though you might not remember it afterwards, you know it right now. You know what you would leave behind, all the hardships you’ve been through together and all the moments you just felt like forever wasn’t too far away. The others might call you stupid for even considering the other option but for you it was just part of loving him.

When you moved on he’d be with someone else but not completely out of reach. If you forget though, he’d be gone out of your life, at least for good. Still, you were sure that even if he’d know that you forgot him, he’d try everything in his possibilities to make you remember. But what if you don’t? Would it break him, knowing you would never remember all of your little adventures again? Would he lose trying?

It wasn’t clear if you could learn to remember again after the loss but from what the doctor’s told you, there weren’t really big chances. Maybe you two would learn to be friends again? You two became great friends once, so why not a second time? Though, it would be even more hurtful if you two wouldn’t become friends again. Could he let you go like that? Could he accept the fact that you two wouldn’t be the same as before? You knew that if he’d be the one to forget, you probably wouldn’t. Even if you’d two be friends again, who would assure you that you wouldn’t fall for this idiot again? Falling too far again and landing right back to the position you were currently in.

There was a knock on the door and as you turned your head towards it, you could see Terushima leaning against the doorframe, his body radiated exhaustion but concern was clear in his eyes. “Hey there, the nurse said I could come and visit you, as long as you would allow it.”, his voice was unusually wavering and all you wanted to do was hug him and assure him that you were okay.

He walked next to the bed and once again took one of your hands into his. “What did the doctor say? Is everything okay now?”, he asked you and the worry in his voice resulted in tears welling up in your eyes, you just couldn’t help it. Here he was, the person you loved with everything you had and also the reason behind your suffering.

How could life be so unfair? Who did you murder or hurt in your past life? How deep did you fall that it had to come this far.

The moment he saw the tears threatening to fall down your cheeks, he fell into panic. “Wh-What’s going on y/n? What did they say? I mean if you don’t want to tell me it’s fine, I can call your parents and when they arrive I can leave. Y/n I-”, you efficiently shut him up with your hand covering his mouth. It was already enough that he was so panicked, even though he didn’t know what would happen to you, you didn’t want him to leave now too.

“Don’t leave I-”, you stopped mid sentence but not because you had to cough again, but it was just too hard to tell him. You knew it would devastate him, knowing his best friend could die soon, who wouldn’t be?

“I… they told me that I was sick.”, your voice trailed off and you could see how his eyes were fixed on every word you said and so you lowered your hand back into your lap. “It’s called Hanahaki and is actually quite rare.”, your hands were balled into fists as your eyes wandered down, trying to avoid his blazing gaze. “And how sick?”, you could make out the light tremble in his voice, you knew that he was trying to control himself to not just bombard you with all of his questions. “Well, it’s called the Hanahaki disease and apparently that attacks my respiratory system, my lungs to be more exact.”, you confessed and when you didn’t hear an immediate reaction, your eyes moved up to catch his stunned expression. His eyes were wide open, mouth agape from the shock and his whole body tensed up. His face looked nearly funny to you but you knew there was nothing funny about this situation. He made a move to stand up but he instantly fell back on the bed, hands balled up into fists. He stared on the floor and you could see how he clenched his teeth, jaw locked into place.

“And how did this happen? Can it be cured?”, he asked the question you didn’t have an answer on, well technically you had but it wasn’t that easy. You wanted to tell him that it was something that is the result of normal natural occurrences and not because you loved him. You wanted to tell him that you can be cured but not with the cost of losing him. How can you look at him and tell him that you’ve made the decision to just… let it go.

You didn’t want to cut off your feelings for him, your love rooted so deep inside of your soul. Taking the flower out of your body meant taking a part of you away and denying your love. You might be free from it afterwards and wouldn’t remember what you’d lost but right now you know. You knew what you’d give up on and sure giving up on life might sound totally irresponsible and stupid as the other option but you wanted to live life without regrets.

And you didn’t regret your feelings, no, you never once did. You loved but you loved with everything you had and that was enough for you. Regretting your emotions would mean regretting all of the happy moments he gifted to you.

No, you didn’t regret, you just kept on loving.

You leaned forward until your right hand could get a hold of his chin, turning his face towards yours, so he was looking at you. When your gazes met, you swore a shard of your heart bored into your flesh. He looked so sad, so hopeless, it was hurting you. You wanted to wipe that expression off of his face and turn his lips into a grin, but you knew that whatever truth you were gonna say, it wouldn’t make him smile like he normally would.

“Yuuji, the only way would be surgery, but that might come with some complications and could result in memory loss and that’s not what I want.”, you told him in a hushed voice, trying to keep him calm, even though you knew that the words you just ushered would have the complete opposite effect. He tried to move back but you just grabbed his face with both of your hands, forcing him to look at you. “You don’t want the surgery? Y/n are you crazy?! If it’s attacking your lungs it might lead to your… to your d-”, his voice broke and not only that but you knew that you broke that boy in front of you with your words. He wasn’t even trying to hide the tears that were welling up behind his eyes but you won’t take your words back. You will stand your ground.

“I know, Yuuji. Don’t you think that I know? But I don’t want to go on if I forget you.”, his lips were pressed on each other and tears were now running down his cheeks. Your fingers wanted to wipe them away but you knew you couldn’t do it. You knew you caused it.

“Y/n I thought you were the smart one of us, why would you make such a ridiculous decision. You think that you could throw life away that easily?!”, he was mad and how mad he was but so were you. How could he say that you're doing this so easily? He talked like it didn’t break your heart to make that decision.

“Do you really think that it’s easy for me? You think that it’s fine with me to just pass away and leave all of you behind like that? Well, then you’re really the dumb one!”, you nearly screamed at him. He just stared at you, eyes wide and you could see that he was trying to understand you, he really did.

“Yuuji, it’s nothing but hurting me to make that decision but do you want to move on, knowing you’d forget everyone? I don’t want that okay? I don’t want to live a life that isn’t fully me and start to regret things. Because without you I’m not completely me, do you understand? Actually I don’t expect you to understand and I don’t expect you to accept it ‘cause I know you’re hurting too.”, your voice was wavering, pumped full with all of your raw emotions.

All of this was too much for you and a part of you wished that you could cut off your emotions but that was exactly what you didn’t want to do. You didn’t want to suppress your feelings because every single emotion was meant to be felt. There was shortcut not other way around, no, you just have to own up to them and feel them with everything you have, even if it hurts you. Denying them would be fruitless and end in more misery than happiness, you knew from experience.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to upset you and I really don’t think that you’re making your decisions carelessly. It’s just… I’m afraid you know? But I mean, you must be even more afraid than me so I have no right to judge.”, he lifted his hands so they would clasp around yours, the warmth of his hands seeping into your skin.

“No, you have all the right to. It’s not easy for the both of us, it wouldn’t be easy for anyone. I don’t want you to hold back your feelings just because you don’t want to offend me, that would be selfish.”, you shot him a slight smile, everything you could muster right now.

Right then, you two were in your own world again, when day and night collided. This time though, it wasn’t like the gentle paradise where the sun would kiss the moon goodbye. Instead the cloudless morning sky was teared down like wallpaper, the starless midnight blue shining through the holes in the light.

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

Sitting here in the field of freesias you recalled his desperate voice in your mind.

“Wait, there has to be something that we can do right? Please y/n, I don’t want to lose you.”

“But you don’t love me.”