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#lots of thoughts abt how his art starts changing after he starts seeing u
ghostbeam · 11 months
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sorry about the incoherent screaming in my reblog i hope it does not frighten you i was jus tfeeling a lot of things
AJSJSHSJSHSJSJ strei!!! DONT be sorry I am incredibly flattered that u liked that Drabble so much ajshsjsjsjsj thank u for being so sweet abt that insomnia fueled nonsense<333
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cubedmango · 7 months
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hi!! i just wanted to let you know that i started reading cherry magic in july last year after seeing the anime announced on toyota-sensei's twitter! i couldn't even rlly translate the announcement myself without the help of google translate LMAO but her illustration of them looked so sweet i had to snoop around. more than half a year later. i am no longer normal and my brain is fully rotted over and i think of those two nearly every waking moment!! your art, along with so many others feeds me and your translations are So Appreciated thank you for doing gods work. i usually don't get super involved in fandom or w/e other than consuming fanart or fics so the fact i find myself actually drawing them is so new to me...idk cherry magic really is so refreshing and it's just nice as an adult to see a mature relationship between two working adults. there are callbacks to childhood or childlike behaviors or interests sprinkled throughout the manga's dialogue and i always appreciated how they weren't seen as embarrassing or immature to embrace or learn from as an adult, but encouraged or seen as a valuable part of balancing work, life, and love. idk it's def one of the more subtle and less expanded upon parts of it but i love how adachi's and kurosawa's love of manga, though seen as a children's activity (from how kurosawa thought people saw it) was actually one of their first mutual hobbies. it's also interesting to see how many things about kurosawa's psyche are remnants of ideas probably for a lack of better wording, were taught to him from an early age. his self-image, how he tries to uphold certain societal standards, etc etc. im glad he found refuge in adachi that way. im sorry for rambling for so long but i've just been thinking about these two so much ldks
anon pls u never have to apologize for rambling abt my fav guys of all time, u should actually talk w me about them more i want to hear ur thoughts !! the eng speaking fandom isnt that big (or at least i dont get to interact w a lot of ppl personally) but its fun making art and doing the translations for my blorbos so im happy other ppl enjoy it too 🥺
and yess everything u said abt the childlike/immature stuff krdc enjoy like the fact that their interest in manga and stuff is never made fun of or anything (which would be ironic anyway since theyre In a manga themselves fdkjskf) but actually one of the things that gets them closer is So good augh?? (also spoilers for the radio drama if u havent seen it yet, but to me one of the best changes they made was changing the port scenes setting to an anime con instead like Yeah!! theyre little nerd guys of course theyd attend a con!!!! that plus how they both like watching animated movies and playing games too like its a very specific thing to Me but that relatability w stuff i do myself makes them both feel a lot more human? if that makes sense)
also w kurosawas whole deal its Definitely a longterm thing hes had for a while, and in canon its mostly been his friendships/relationships that affected him (probs the most clear in ch45 my beloved) but from the way the meeting w his parents went theres for sure a lot of parental/family pressure involved too?? this is going into hc territory but i have like a whole Thing brewing in my head about kurosawas and maris relations w their parents and how that affected their self image and all growing up too and i rlly wanna make stuff for it someday (idk if anyone would be interested but id probably do it regardless so fkdjksjfk)
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chim-chim1310 · 1 year
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I am a jkkr on this app. I have been for years. I follow a lot of big Jikook acc.. pretty sure everyone knows who they are.
I’ve tried reasoning with ppl, but it is not getting through to these ppl. How are you going to sit there and celebrate these fake bought achievements like this?
That Weverse article was like a knife in my heart: who is this man? I don’t know this man. I knew JK to be a person that wanted to be a meaningful artist who would give his all to his fans. Write his own music and be creative. All about the arts. That is who I thought he was. “I want to be a main huge pop star?” BTS are huge like wtf is he even talking abt? Him dancing and saying ooh let’s go to number 1 during suchwita.. like how chart obsessed can you be? Him celebrating his streams and so called broken records.. I’m like.. is he even aware of the gazzilion versions they released? 4 versions they combined? As a jkkr I’m like how can u accept the blatant sabotage that has been done to ur partner? Not a sane and healthy couple would do what he did. I love him i do but He destroyed my belief in him. He destroyed BTS. He fractured the fandom. I can’t lie anymore. I can’t defend any of this. Ppl say it’s not him.. it’s the company. Stfu.. nobody buys that. He doesn’t care abt the music. He doesn’t care abt artistry. Watching JM has changed my life. He was so humble, so mature.. so artistic.. so creative.. he put his heart and soul into his album. He deserves that number 1. He deserved all the support. He deserves to shine. This Jungkook doesn’t deserve anything. I really do pray that scooter isn’t involved in his album. I wish that for his sake because scooter doesn’t make careers.. he destroys lives. I am beyond disappointed. I feel bad because I thought he was like Jimin. He isn’t. I don’t recognize this empty shell. I’m sorry.
We share the same thoughts.
I've only started disliking jk after seeing the change in his behavior in a matter of days. I was a jikooker not long ago.
And if I'm being completely honest with you......i do find jikook extremely sus sometimes. like there are some jikook moments for me that just can't be denied. That's why I decided to ship them.
But now I've stopped shipping them not because I've suddenly started thinking that they're not together anymore. I've made this clear that we don't know shit. So I'm not here saying that they're dating because we don't know that. But I'll also be honest and say that I do find them suspicious sometimes.
So aside from all that I stopped shipping jikook because I stopped liking jungkook. That's it. Idc care about their personal life. I don't care if jikook are actually together. I don't care if jimin likes him. But as a fan I've stopped liking jungkook.
Shipping was never that serious for me. It was fun so I used to ship them because they were kinda sus and I liked them both since jk was my bias wrecker. But now that I've started disliking jungkook I just don't feel the need to ship them anymore. Shipping is not that deep. We would never know if they're dating or not anyway. So It should be fun for us and not that serious. So I never put much thought on it.
Jimin can like jungkook, he can even date jungkook but that wouldn't change my experience as a fan. Since I've stopped liking jungkook I don't like to attach his name with my bias.
But you're right. I had so much faith in jungkook and he ruined everything. Maybe that's why I'm so pissed at him. Because if yoongi did that then I would just scoff and move on. But I had faith in jk and he destroyed it.
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riewritten · 2 years
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what do you do when inspiration suddenly hits you? like do you just memorize it in ur head or note it somewhere or do u work on that idea immediately?? im very very curious about ur creative process PLEASE OVERSHARE because i believe there are things that are new to me. like you write and draw and it's amazing how tou do both! i'm more curious about ur writing process because i don't write much (nowadays i only journal or write diary entries, in the past i did write fanfictions but they're almost all oneshots or unplanned dropped after 2 or 3 chapters). (how) do you plan your storyline? do you consider yourself flexible (like are u comfortable with changing plans in a big project where one change could lead to other changes?). Do you beta read by yourself or is there anyone who does it? if you do it by yourself, what do you feel when re-reading your writings? i literally have sm questions but i don't wanna overwhelm you 😭😭😭 you don't need to answer if you don't want to, that's alright!!!
when u said i could overshare
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for whenever the inspiration hits, i tend to start on it immediately. writing is such a mood booster for me and i'm in a low mood most of the time so i seize the moment whenever motivation comes :'D sometimes when i'm busy (let's say school/work) and a great idea pops in (usually in quote format), i just lay it down in my gdocs. for oneshots, 1 doc would suffice. for longfics, the docs per chapter are contained in a folder.
i don't think i'm great in fan arts (i just get the boost from those who draw well—like u!) so i'm glad you appreciate it as well <3
regarding my writing process, someone actually asked me about it before! but to generalize my answer there, i ponder on 3 things (plot, characterization, & chapter study). my first fic (and my first series in general) was dusk in the brightest. i worked on chapter study first: detailed sequence of events from C1-10, vague concept in 11-15, then the rest is just 2-3 sentences of how i want the story to end. the 2nd one, character study, was smth i learned from a professor in one of my subjects when i submitted a one-act play script to her and she heavily criticized my characterization (like so badly i still get jitters remembering it) 😭 since then, i've been very wary with getting things accurate and consistent with my characters. for my plot-heavy fics, that's what i'm most serious for.
i think my flexibility (i dont even think i got that) was v challenged during the last arc of DIB because i suddenly had a complete change of mind with the ending (exactly what u had mentioned: changes that would lead one thing to the other). it was def not comfortable but a great tip (i think) to work around it is that: go back to your earlier chapters, pick up the most random scenarios you had made, then come up with a reason why that random thing ensued. an example of executing it is how isayama worked around aot's first scene (child!eren crying & mikasa being the first one he sees) by connecting it to his last scene in the manga (ofc i wouldn't assume isayama just thought abt it midway. it's just with how he executed it).
i don't have lots of friends in this app so i usually do the revisions all by myself. i'm a type of author that releases chapters impulsively—i'd publish smth that i hadn't proofread yet, read it in the app, then just do all the editing there. i'll repeat the process until i finally get satisfied. i think it's easier for me to point out mistakes when i feel the urgency to do so (like omg i have to hurry in polishing this bc readers might click anytime soon 😭) though someone helped me change POVs (from 1st to 2nd) in DIB C1-13 and let me tell u that i never thought having someone help me beta read my work could bring me so much delight.
and pls don't worry about overwhelming me! using this app and dumping all my work here are literally what keeps me sane from the overwhelming things in my life atm. to have u appreciate it gives me joy & comfort. thats why i'd be honored to answer all of ur questions :'D
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corvidshipping · 2 years
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6, 8, & 13 ~ rebeccaselfships
hiii i definitely didnt forget i reblogged this ask game entirely hahaha
talk about any special/memorable moments you had with your F/O(s) this year! Which stood out to you the most?
i'd say probably the BIGGEST moment so far was my engagement to jes... the wedding to whom i still have not planned not because i started getting executive dysfunction for directly after finishing the playlist and before drawing any wedding art hey let's just say we're enjoying our engagement ok? also. also the jes letter that one anon sent me. i think about that like 2x a day probably. there were a lot of special moments though!!
in which ways did your F/O(s)/selfshipping help you this year?
selfshipping has helped me SOOO much since i started in that it's basically tricking ur brain into self love i mean think abt it... these little guys we love so much, everything we imagine them saying to us and doing for us and all the love we imagine them giving us is coming from us... and also at least in my experience, so many of the characters i love so deeply i love because there is something in them (and it can be either a talent or a shortcoming) that i see reflecting myself, self recognition through the other yadda yadda you know. and also being in the community in general has helped me reach out to people thru a common interest i would neeeever have had the social skill to talk to otherwise, which is nice :-) and i love learning about other ppls f/os even (especially!!!) when theyre from smth i have NO clue about so thats nice. but a specific moment i think is when i developed my lil crush and decided to f/o eddie when i was sick/quarantining with covid. isolating like that was actually a huge toll on my mental health, i'm a person who loves solitude and privacy in large amounts but forced solitude is really something else. WAY too much time alone with my thoughts, not being able to really do anything but watch youtube videos and draw to take my mind off it, not to mention i was in a pretty big fight with my irl bestie at the time and that was... not great for my mind to keep going back to while isolated in my room. i really do think the 2 people that got me through it were my sister (who kept me company digitally from the living room the entire time!!) and eds.
if you’ve had any F/O(s) for longer a year, did you find out anything new and surprising about them this year? Did this change your relationship change in any way?
hmmm probably cliffie is the first example that comes to mind, there was so much character development in the past ... 2 seasons i think? that came out this past year. we learned so much more abt how his mind works and his insecurities and i think it only made me love him more. poor guy is so flawed but hes trying soo hard and he loves his family soooo much and he wants to fix what hes done :( love him.
ty so much for sending rebecca!!!! i hope you had a good new year's with mirko and hawks and umbreon!!! feel free to send me anything u got to do to celebrate if you want! :o)
end of the year ask game!! send anything u want. send unrelated things. send f/o gush. send memes. send me YOUR answers to prompts idc.
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relaxxattack · 3 years
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hi im asking u this bc u seem to be bee duo enthusiast so
ive been calling c! beeduos relationship platonic because i thought that was what their cc’s said, and i thought they had said that they were uncomfortable with ppl shipping the characters. But ive seen a lot of posts that say their relationship is canonically romantic? and i absolutely do not want to come across as homophobic by watering down a mlm relationship to just friends because that happens so much in media so.
what is the canon state of their relationship / ur opinions on the platonic thibg
dont worry abt answering if u dont want to!! i see a lot of differing opinions and i trust yours :)
aw it’s totally fine, im flattered you asked me about this!
let me put it simply: it’s a whole mess, lol.
first im going to talk about what’s happened fandom-wide that caused differing opinions, and then i’ll explain my own opinion/interpretation. :]
(this got really fucking long im so sorry)
ranboo and tubbo initially proclaimed the relationship was romantic, specifically in argument with the wiki editors who had set it as platonic by default. (you can see this in the vod where they decide they’re canonically married— it’s very funny. chat tells them the marriage is already on the wiki, they check, tubbo is jokingly offended that it says platonic and asks if he needs to up the romance).
tubbo also makes jokes about adultry, which sort of implies the relationship is not necessarily a platonic one.
(theres definetly more in that stream alone but it’s been a long time since i watched it so i don’t remember a lot of it.)
the wiki, because of this, suffers from going back and forth on platonic and romantic, seemingly unsure where the joke ends and the canon begins, or if its canonically a joke! a mess, as you can already tell.
this gets more complicated as the marriage bit goes on: outsiders, such as phil and scott, both at one point say “platonic marriage”, which then ranboo and tubbo agree with. however, when chat asks them if they’re platonic, they say the opposite. so there is a lot of confusion there.
there’s also the difficulty of being able to tell streamers and characters apart. ranboo and tubbo both don’t like being shipped irl, and that’s their boundaries that shouldn’t be crossed. (they’re also minors, but tbh when they’re 18 in a year i will still be following their boundaries regardless of their legal age).
due to people not wanting to be accused of minor shipping, they started adding the platonic tone indicator to most of their drawings— basically a way of saying “no homo”. meanwhile, tubbo frequently on stream flirts with ranboo and makes quite a bit of nsfw comments towards him that are frankly hilarious.
this goes on for a while with nobody really sure what’s canon, but a lot of people assuming it’s probably platonic, until: the drama of the mods night. a few mods dmed all the wiki editors telling them ranboo wanted his canon character relationship officially set to platonic.
unfortunately for those mods; the very same day, a few hours later, ranboo on stream makes fun of puffy delivering him and tubbo “friendship flowers”. because, and i quote, “bruh. we’re literally married. this must be how the ancient greeks felt.”
in case you don’t know, the internet often jokes about how historians will call ancient greeks ‘very good friends’ when they are quite obviously gay. so in this context, ranboo is joking that people will call him and c!tubbo, who are married, “close friends”, when he doesn’t think they are.
basically, ranboo canonized romantic bee duo, the very same day the mods told everyone he’d wanted a platonic one.
chaos and drama immediately erupted everywhere. on tumblr, we were talking about how weird it was of his mods to do something like that without asking him first. we ALSO talked about how weird it was of them to assume that ranboo can’t make his own decisions, or assume teenagers cannot be in relationships without it being sexual. twitter did the same thing but in the opposite direction: called ranboo mods homophobic, or said they were mad ranboo felt pressured into making a romantic relationship canon ‘just so people could have mlm rep.’
i dont want to go into detail about the drama that happened that night because apparently official people follow me and i dont want to stir it up or have them come “clarify” things. im just saying what we talked about.
ranboo in typical ranboo fashion apologized quickly and seriously. he was deeply sorry for possibly offending anyone with how he’d portrayed his rp relationship with tubbo, and he also assured everyone the mod thing was just a miscommunication.
he said he would talk to tubbo and they’d decide once and for all whether it was platonic or romantic, and then announce so everyone would know.
it’s now been a few months and we've had no word from them on that development. we still have no clue.
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now, here’s my opinion:
i want to take ranboos word for it that it was a miscommunication with his mods, but... we had it on good authority from people on the wiki team and people in the discord with the mods that (while it was happening) they were really going after the wiki admins, and also made some weird comments about it. that combined with the way ranboo seemingly had no clue (considering he canonized their romance that very same day).... it’s very. sus of the mods.
then there’s the canon we’ve got since then. although occasionally adults in the room have called it a “platonic marriage” and tubbo once (back when it first started) called it a “plankton tectonic” marriage, in roleplay it’s been... kind of not that. tubbo and ranboo make nsfw jokes about each other in character, and their characters also share a master bedroom and bed in the mansion. there's also the way c!tommy really thinks it’s a romance between them as well, and they agree with and play off that— for instance confirming that they “fell in love” when he asked, or ranboo confirming that they “make out on occasion”.
people will still put platonic on their art and posts, imo, because they’re worried about breaking ranboo and tubbo’s irl boundaries by looking like they ship them. or even just being accused of shipping real life minors. and that’s a valid fear to have.
the thing is though: c!bee duo are not cc!bee duo. they’re roleplay characters. cc!bee duo are not okay with being shipped, but they made their characters get canonically married, and call each other “husbands”. so it’s okay to write the word “husband” in your comic without adding “platonic” to it, i promise.
telling the ccs that their characters have to be platonic is... weird. it comes off as not only babying them, but also as saying teens can’t date without it being gross. which isn’t true.
(this is why seeing people overuse “platonic husband” so much bothers me. like, they ARE husbands. you can just say it. what are you trying to hide...?)
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do i think they’re canonically romantic? ehh, its likely. it’s still okay to interpret them as platonic, because again, it’s hard to tell where jokes end and roleplay begins. like, maybe it’s jokes in the rp too, and c!bee duo are just friends. friends can and should be allowed to make jokes like that with each other! aro & ace marriages exist!
or, maybe it’s actually part of the rp, and they’re very much romantic. we don’t know!
some people say they could be a qpr (queerplatonic romance), which i could see. (a qpr is a relationship that fluctuates between, or can’t quite be sorted into, “romantic” and “platonic”. people in a qpr can do romantic things while having platonic feelings for each other). in my opinion this is a very valid interpretation as well!
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CONCLUSION (sorry this got so long omfg):
are c!bee duo romantic?
its likely, but you can still interpret them however you like!
should i put /p on bee duo content?
ehhh? i find it annoying when it’s overused (as do others), but if you’re worried you can. its up to preference. putting it too much is weird though
should i put /p on things cc! bee duo do?
no. you’re not the one saying it so you can’t decide the tone tags for that. imagine you said something to your friend and a random stranger came up and was like “haha but that was /p right...?”
can i ship c!bee duo?
mmm. i’m not sure on this one. they are canonically married and very flirtatious, but the ccs don’t like being shipped and they’re close enough to being the ccs that actively shipping might be against boundaries.
can i treat c!bee duo as romantic?
yes. literally just don’t be weird about it. it’s not that hard! you can understand that two characters are husbands without making it weird
here’s the most important thing: boundaries. cc bee duo still haven’t told us what their preferences and canon is about this whole thing.
right now, i am assuming based on what they already show us they’re comfortable with, but! the second they give us any more info! all these opinions will change!
i am only going off what they do. i would never want to cross boundaries at all. i just wish they would make theirs a little more clear.
..... i hope that helped anon, i went way off the rails... i need to go to sleep.
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wistfulrat · 3 years
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im sorry if u dont do fic recs u can ignore this! ive been seeing ur reblogs n its kinda putting me back to mdzs mood (i thought i was over this sike to me ig) n if u have any fics uve read n liked id gladly take any 🤲
oh i love this for u!! im def new here so i haven’t actually read a ton but my fic finding method is currently —1) ask @lanwangjigrumpyfacecollection what i should read bc their taste is immaculate and i always end up crying at whatever they rec 2) after reading a particularly excellent fic, comb thru that author’s ao3 bookmarks, rinse repeat etc—and that hasn’t failed me yet :)
anyway here’s a list of my faves so far!
The Roots Grow Riotous by hansbekhart - 104k E a fashion industry au from LWJ’s pov. immersive, devastating, poetic. i could probs write an essay-length reflection on this shit. felt genuinely rearranged after reading it. a stand alone novel in its own right. a beautiful exploration of grief, loneliness, despair, horror, etc. like, come for the lovely wangxian dynamics and them being hot, stay for the revelatory LWJ character study that had me in fucking tearsss by the end. truly deserves to be read widely just for how singular and cinematic that third act is.
Three changes. by orange_crushed - 18k M for someone who reads so much angst i could choke on it, i love to recover with distilled tenderness, no hurt all yearning etc. and this is the blossoming of summer love cql-lecture-arc the boys deserved. peak comfort fic mentally i am in that lake scene. young terrified-of-love LWJ my beloved!!
Say So by @lanwangjigrumpyfacecollection - 15k E feat. a sex-cursed WWX incapable of playing it cool. LWJ is not not pleased. more importantly who is doing it like feelsforbreakfast. who!!! u know i had zero intention of getting into the untamed even tho it ruled my dash for 2 years and yet the moment ffb wrote a fic? im there. say less. say nothing at all. ur always in for a tender funny horny time. it’s hot it’s hilarious it’s abt the mortifying ordeal of voicing what one wants. 10/10 re-readability.
your name, safe in their mouth by astrolesbian - 10k G [lan sizhui gets sick on a night hunt. wei wuxian comforts him. they both have a lot of feelings about it.] how to gently rip out my heart and stitch it back together in 10k words: explore literally any aspect of WWX-LSZ father-son relationship. be sure to include post-resurrection WWX feeling like he’ll always be playing catch up with lost time and the people who had to survive his death. feature a vulnerable LSZ (who just wants to be close with his undead dad) and a wary WWX (who doesn’t know if he deserves that closeness). im still emo abt this
Pentimento. by orange_crushed - 73k E [Former best friends Lan Wangji, paintings conservator, and Wei Wuxian, art handler, meet again and realize... neither of them were actually in unrequited love.] immaculate setting, i read it for that reason alone. loved LWJ’s pov in this—reserved, self-conscious, observant, sad, suffocating with unspoken desires etc. but it’s the final paragraphs of the last chapter that got me. thee loveliest surprise and such a satisfying close to the story.
A Very Star-Like Start by hansbekhart - 3k E short lovely soft perfect. the extended cql wangxian lotus lake boat scene we deserved.
All that is solid melts into air by huxiyi - 18k T was absolutely taken with the premise of this fic bc 1) i love angst 2) i love seeing a bitter/sad/angry wangxian in their older age making amends 3) i love thinking about the class dynamics in CQL, WWX’s robin-hood streak, all the villains having origin stories that amount to a lack of status, and the breakdown of relationships because of these dynamics. everything is a sad mess but it will be ok!
No night as deep as my night. by orange_crushed - 17k E another orange_crushed bc well. if u find a good author it makes sense to work thru all their fics. anyway this one is a post-nightless city au. wwx on the verge of death. lwj desperate to save him. equal parts dark and lovely. idk how to explain it but i feel like orange_crushed excels at using a fic setting to build emotional landscapes that completely expand ur understanding of a character. this one in particular feels like a love letter to the burial mounds, homes made out of dead things, personified darkness, etc.
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reversecreek · 3 years
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pops hip n winks at the dash. haaaaiiii. me again. i’ve honestly missed playing lana fr a while she’s one of. my most treasured muses bc she’s jst a silly n vivacious ball of sunshine or alternatively? a train wreck depending on which way u turn her in the light..... i actually hv two playlists made fr her n one is rly old bt it’s more like. songs that Remind me of her which u can find here n then here is more like. stuff u’ll most often catch her blasting on her record player as she dances around in her underwear w the curtains open. OH and here is her pinterest 🍓⚡
* kristine froseth, cis female + she/her  | you know lana jameson, right? they’re twenty-three, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, a few hours? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to play that funky music by wild cherry like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole cherry red gym socks worn with nothing else, doodling penises in the condensation of a stranger’s car window, a bumper sticker on the back of a convertible cadillac that says ‘scrappy doo is a filthy slut’ thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is june 2nd, so they’re a gemini, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nai, 24, gmt, she/her  )
HISTORY:
lana grew up in a big house in albany, NY. i picture it w dark oak floors n lots of light furniture. albums framed on walls. mayb some rolling stone covers too frm way bk when of the bands her dad’s label signed. kind of like… a rock star palace w no evidence of children at all. i think i described it best in one of lana’s self paras once when i said the garden ws “as big as it was unloved”
lana’s mum victoria (vic) ws a music journalist w a pretty fruitful career ahead of her when she met lana’s dad richard (rich). his record label ws jst starting out, founded on the coattails of his wealthy best friend’s (jensen peters) investment w his other best friend (who he jst calls knoxville). it rocketed to success when they signed poppy injects, a rock band w an electric stage presence, n vic ws drawn to the glitz n glamour of a man tht ws at the helm of his aspiring industry. their love ws very impulsive, all or nothing right frm the start, n it ws almost like she ws mre in love w his accomplishments n what he represented than him.
(DRUGS TW) anyway so jameson records repped a few rock bands bk in the eighties, altho poppy injects r who they’re mostly known fr, namely bc of hw brightly they crashed n burned. they were a big chart success bt the lead singer hd quite an intense struggle w heroin (wsnt rly subtle abt it either while he ws in the public eye as u cn probably imagine frm such an on-the-nose band name) n he ws always in n out of the papers. it eventually brought down his career n it ws a big publicity nightmare
lana pretty much… grew up around figures like this throughout childhood. real characters who wld kind of… b extremely volatile n destructive abt their troubles. the jameson house was an open one as welcoming clients went n a lot of parties took place there. a lot of the time musicians wld b snorting lines in the kitchen when she wnted to grab a bowl of cereal fr breakfast n it was just. a very strange environment fr a child to grow up in. more zoo than home. more shaken snow globe than resting place. (END OF TW)
(ABORTION REFERENCE) her parents always kind of jst… didn’t like her much. her older brother caleb ws unplanned bt they sort of welcomed the surprise more bt… quickly realised they weren’t cut out fr parenthood n then when lana came as another surprise 3 yrs later they didn’t even try to hide their resentment abt the situation. her mum ws actually booked in to have an abortion bt cldnt go through with it at the last minute. once when lana ws a kid she asked her why she’s so cold towards her she jst turned her head frm her dresser, looked at her, told her abt this n said “idk why i didn’t go”. lana didn’t kno wht to say to tht so she jst left her room n closed the door (END OF REFERENCE)
(DISSOCIATION TW) bc of the intensity of her parents ignoring her growing up lana adopted this sense of like…. she didn’t rly kno what it ws bt it ws a delusion of sorts where she thought she ws a ghost bc she gt this strange outside feeling. she’d jst sort of… drift around the halls w no-one acknowledging her n sometimes she ws jst convinced she wsnt actually there or they cldnt see her n she ws jst haunting the house frm a previous family. (END OF TW) her imagination festered an explanation out of smthn she didn’t understand essentially. lana used her imagination to do this a lot growing up. it ws kind of like the band aid she slapped over everything. after all she wasn’t alone if she was sword fighting imaginary pirates dwn the hallway with a poker from the fireplace. 
the one saving grace tho tht sort of?? gt her thru this n made her feel Seen ws caleb. lana quite genuinely hs always thought the sun shines out of her older brothers ass like she jst thinks. he’s the best person in the entire world. wld b rly bewildered if anyone questioned tht. he wld always look out for her n cut the crusts off her sandwiches (he’d cook fr them most of the time bc their parents were too busy/didn’t care to) n sometimes wld even sleep at the bottom of her bed curled up like a guard dog. it ws always lana n caleb n his best friend tommy against the world in tht house (tommy lived next door bt was always over bc he had very strict parents tht he found suffocating)
(ARMY MENTION) SO when tommy announced tht he’d signed up to the army (bc of pressures from tommy’s military dad to fulfil some kind of stupid “legacy” tommy didn’t even care abt) n caleb said he was going with him lana ws understandably…….. completely blindsided. she ws rly upset tht they were leaving n was kind of like “wtf why are u doing this like what do u even think this is gna solve” etc n begged caleb not to leave her there on her own n jst to not sign up in general bc tommy had to bt he didn’t listen. 
ERM i won’t go into it but it didn’t turn out well as u can probably imagine bc the army is a terrible industry n caleb had to return home without tommy. he wasn’t the same after that. (END OF MENTION)
what’d been a rly close relationship before where he ws basically like a surrogate father figure to lana was Not there any more. he ws rly withdrawn n always pushing her away n snapping at her for the sake of getting her to leave him alone. on top of this lana had a lot of shit go down while he was away n rly just shouldn’t have been a kid alone in tht house. regardless lana thought if she kept grinning as wide as she cld she’d convince caleb to join in too. maybe if she seemed fine n happy he’d take the lead. maybe she’d believe it too n start to feel it n everything could go bk to how it was before her world became so different. lana liked the way the sky flipped when she tipped her head back on the swings bt this was different. everything was upside down bt this didn’t make her belly feel like she’d swallowed a butterfly and it wasn’t funny bt still, she kept laughing. always desperate to find something to laugh at n if she couldn’t find it she invented it. as long as ur laughing the world can’t b that bad.
she ws always well liked in school bc she jst tended to treat everyone like they were bffs no matter who like u cld have literally bumped shoulders w her once in the corridor n she’d be like OMG HAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII let’s kiss<3 n like she ws a huge notorious flirt w any n all as well as incredibly impulsive n jst. wild honestly to put it simply too bt things like. changed a bit frm 16 onwards. (HYPERSEXUALITY & IMPLIED TRAUMA TW) she jst became far more reckless honestly n like....... jst didn’t rly seem to care after a certain point abt herself too much.... got herself in a bunch of bad situations.......... kind of jst flung herself to the wolves numerous times without any caution abt the way they’d bite. formed a lot of self destructive habits one of which ws cruising craigslist personals fr random hook-ups n like. she literally cld have wound up in a ditch somewhere honestly it’s a shock she hasn’t. despite various dips n inclines in her journey navigating this side of her it’s very much still present in her life to this day n she struggles to kno hw to control herself at points. sometimes she feels like a melting candle tht needs moulding by thumbs until it can form a person again. sometimes she’s only sure she’s real when she’s being touched. (END OF TW)
ANYWAY. laughs nervously. went to college to study dance bc she’s always loved dance in general bt specifically ballet (despite definitely not hving the discipline for it) n honestly this was both good n bad fr her. had a whole string of terrible heartbreaking relationships bc she tends to fall into those hard n fast n they were w a lot of bad people fr like 98% of the time. she kind of learned more abt what love is during her time there tho which is a gd thing bt she still isn’t very good at knowing hw to believe she deserves it so it’s a process. she hd fun tho. threw 498572598475 outrageous n elaborately themed parties. ws friends w pretty much everyone on campus. 
despite a strained relationship w her brother n having to go home to visit n check on him whenever he got rly bad it ws the first time it actually felt like she’d found a home in a lot of rly loving n genuine friendships n lana will never forget hw much that experience meant to her even if she definitely struggled there too. college felt like a place she belonged n then suddenly she couldn’t belong there any more n there was a big sense of floundering in that. like where do u go now when u’ve never known home elsewhere? how do u happily go out into the world if it means leaving ur world behind?
she applied to a dance company in LA n fell in w a pretentious art scene there full of wannabe andy warhols n the like. became a makeshift edie sedgwick to some guy w dyed white hair n the idea his every concept was revolutionary when rly he jst shot her dancing barely clothed splashing around in a random fountain in his friend’s mansion on an ancient film camera. she’d spend her days floating around on lilo’s and prancing in feather boas and racing with glitter leftover frm last night in her leotard w smudges of faint red lipstick to barely make her job on time. always a sexy train wreck bt this time? make it hollywood. 
(IMPLIED ALCOHOLISM TW) i won’t lie to u lana hs always partied way too hard bt then partying way too hard turned into slurping merlot thru a crazy straw shaped like a flamingo at 4 in the afternoon wearing penis novelty sunglasses n it wasn’t quite so much of a party when u were doing it on ur own. this rly snowballed into place in college bt carried on n wound up getting her fired from the dance company bc she turned up to rehearsals drunk one too many times n they didn’t allow fr sloppiness like tht. it was a “professional operation” that didn’t “accept that kind of behaviour” bt lana was jst like ummmmmmmmm that’s totally dramatic btw way to spank me in the town square like i’m gale w a raw ass n back in the hunger games bt ok sure i’m out ig. BOOP! (literally booped the director on the nose before leaving) (END OF TW)
honestly hd no idea what to do w herself after her job fell thru in LA n was pretty embarrassed actually upon sobering up the nxt day. cldn’t bring herself to tell her friends for a hot minute bc she felt like a failure or smthn n she was meant to be living this glamorous life out there being the classic wild n silly n fun Lana Jameson. cldn’t figure out how to repackage it into a funny story tht wouldn’t worry ppl. eventually wound up jst caving n telling her closest besties (shoutout freya n rosa) bc she ws hving a weird time dating losers n randomly living in LA even tho she didn’t kno why she was there any more after losing the job n they were jst like. fk it then. jst come here. we’re in irving. and so? mizz jameson packed her bags....
PERSONALITY:
always smells vaguely of wild cherries or strawberry starburst or jst the candy aisle in general. if she ws a vinyl record she’d b this one n she’d only play good vibrations by the beach boys, dancing on my own by robyn, play that funky music by wild cherry, femme fatale by the velvet underground n (i can’t get no) satisfaction by the rolling stones
the jameson family r pretty well off n bc of her relation to such a big music industry figure she’s hung out w a fair few relatively high rep ppl thru her teens. mostly kids of celebrities n stuff like tht. she amassed a bit of an instagram following #nepotism bt also fr her style (v penny lane-esque in some aspects. lots of fur cuff trimmed jackets bt then also jst…. a wild combination of everything honestly. pastel faux fur coats, seventies style platforms, bright red cowboy boots, pink fishnet tights, holographic stickers of planets on her cheek n glitter used like highlight, 90% of the time a red lip) n bc she’s not gna make ur eyes bleed to look at or anything let’s b real
growing up lana was always a huge social butterfly. knew everyone n everyone knew her. she ws one of those girls tht ws kind of impossible to ignore or forget. very animated, always made u feel like u were the centre of the universe whenever she spoke to u, always made it feel like u were best friends even if ud only spoken to her once.
deliberately puts on tht kind of Magnetic Alluring Act tht femme fatales wear in movies w most ppl. kind of…. is always playing A Role of the person tht she wants to b seen as. hates being sad n always wnts to be happy / making ppl happy. chameleons to situations. feels like she’s performed as the vivacious n fun loving Lana Jameson fr so long tht she doesn’t rly kno who she is beneath tht bt she isn’t too keen to find out. sometimes gets glimpses n feels the urge to close her eyes.
she’s always been rly spontaneous n adventurous. always doing something weird n wild every weekend. she has ten thousand ridiculously absurd n chaotic stories. she’s like oh ya this one time this guy made me ride him with a daddy saddle like i was woody and he was bullseye. he literally made me call him bullseye. or she’s like. oh ya once i had to run barefoot thru a cabbage patch bc this one farmer wanted to have a threeway w me n my friend tht we met off craigslist n every framed photo in his house was a pig dressed up in cosplay bt honestly they were kind of cute n he was sexy aside frm the murderous vibes n the fact he kept calling me babe which i’m pretty sure means he wanted to dress me up next bt like whatever honestly.... she tells jst the most batshit stuff n the person she’s telling it to is left blinking like. wtf.
uncontrollably flirty. insanely confident. cld make a joke out a paper bag n will try. she tends to laugh when she feels like crying n has a smile brighter than a ray of texas sunshine.
likes to roller skate n hs a red pair she’ll glide around in at night lit up by amber street lamps breath sticky w the taste of wine n lollipops probably heading to a random hookups. who needs ubers?
always dapples her fingers thru the breeze when she’s driving in a car w the window down. honestly likes dangling her whole body halfway out too. she almost always has some sort of sweet on her, whether it’s sour haribo cherries or strawberry lollipops.
luvs bowie (ONLY aesthetically) n prince (wholeheartedly) n madonna (completely) n anyone tht’s a vintage style icon w little care fr what ppl think.
daisies n poppies r her fav flowers bc daisies r wild n overlooked n poppies r the first thing u look at in a green field. she’s had like 8472493874 ‘relationships’ n none of them hav lasted beyond a month / hav been terrible / hav seen her being treated badly / she’s cheated on them. honestly it’s like a burning train wreck but u can’t quite tear ur eyes away. often the heart of many sordid gossip scandals.
PLOTS:
TBA bc she’s only jst arrived in town i won’t lie to u all but i’m gna whip things up on here anyway n link in chat w updates at some point........ that said? lana is insatiable n it isn’t rly unlikely tht she cld’ve bumped into ur muse in a grocery store aisle n somehow a wild spontaneous adventure spawned frm that alone.......... if u have any immediate ideas we can discuss 😋
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gryphsdeadbones · 4 years
Note
hey from one nd person to another the comic where fm gordon says a slur seems kind of in poor taste. ik ur not intentionally making light of it and tht occurring in fm should be criticized but while you dont make it out to be a good thing making jokes about it and calling him a "slurboy" is kind of questionable? it makes it seem more like a plotpoint and angst rather than the creator of fm genuinely fucking up in the past (and having moved on from it)! i think exploring fm coming to terms with being nd is a good idea but this isnt the best way to do it. if you want me to explain my point more lmk if/when u post this and i will! someone already made a post abt it but it was kinda strongly worded and i wanted to approach you more calmly because i genuinely dont want to call you out or start drama or anything ;-;
first off thank you for being civil and patient with me i appreciate this ask a lot- also this got long- im not in a flying rage or anything when i bold or emphasis text, i just needed it also for my own readability and since im not the best at wording- hopefully this hellsite works and my response is under the cut
i would like to know how is it in poor taste when freemind explicitly gets clocked at the very end for saying it. the entire point of the comic was to show that saying the r slur has existed in his source and is bad
im not sure how much more direct i can get, with the disclaimer/warning list growing longer and longer and out there for a huge sign that says “this au can get dark as fuck and these subject matters are treated seriously/not something to mess around with.” Like yes, there are some jokes in the asks and other comics, but that specific comic is not supposed to be “haha thats funny”. it has a serious tone using a rough sketch style bc i was super tired and wanted to vent
was it just the direct reference to it that just made people uncomfortable? because thats 100% understandable, and i made sure i tagged it appropriately (although admittedly, a little bit late since i thought the filter would catch at least the main thing)
i think what some people somehow got from it is “exploring sensitive content = endorsing said content” which! that is not the intent! i absolutely do not want people saying that word! I don’t want people thinking that is any way okay for this character to say
its more of a damned if i do address it, damned if i dont.
if it never comes up, people are gonna assume that ‘oh this character says slurs and is shit, surely the creator or fan-creator MUST be okay with it and woobifies freemind and absolves him of any mistakes’ or something like that. no. this asshole has an arc and i want to do it right. its serious and i think it shouldn’t be shoved under the rug
and people just. dont want to read for context for whatever reason. theyll start watching it and get taken aback by the slur and start blaming me ‘hey you never warned for this’ when very early on i keep mentioning over and over ‘you dont have to watch it if you dont want to! This has slurs and 2000s internet brand humor/style’ You really dont, I’m not forcing you to watch it- Literally all you need to know is either canon half life or hl/vrai. thats it. fm mostly follows hl1 with very slight changes.
so i had to make something that:
1. warns people who arent aware and dont want to go through my asks or about/warning pages (for whatever reason) and just want to see the art
2. also NOT downplay freemind’s canon assholery. listen, i kinda despise writing mean and cruel characters, theyre hard to do, and a lot of people get shit for doing it wrong or people going “character = author”
i’ve also considered leaving the bubbles blank, but then people could fill it with whatever they want, then blame me for being vague. or they’d fill it in with a different kind of slur that freemind has never used, even if he MIGHT be the type to do that. I needed to explicitly mention that it is ableist slur. There are shitty racist and other problematic jokes, but never those kinds of extreme racial slurs to my knowledge.
Although I do see your point that maybe joking about it outside of the serious stuff might not be the best route. The slurboy jokes are getting stale, and I will try a better way to remind people.
The thing that gets to me is that it feels people are more than ready to defend either Ross Scott or Gordon Freeman the fictonal character himself. I don’t??? really care for Ross Scott, so I don’t know if he’s ever brought it up specifically. I’m not really calling him out or cancelling him. Idc for some white man’s feelings, im only bringing the timeframe of That era and reworking it to fit in This current era.
And I hate to break it to people: Gordon Freeman is a blank slate character, you can project whatever the hell you want on him as long as it’s not freakshit illegal garbage. The machinimas (fm, hl/vrai) do have SOME characterization that I want to nail down. It fucking sucks when characters are ooc, and I’m trying not to do that, even if it means sacrificing some comfort. But still mostly staying in my comfort zone if that makes sense
Now about the callout that I do not want to engage with the op directly:
Honestly im very surprised the comic was called out when i just. thought my stuff is relatively tame on exploring the bad shit canon freemind does. ive seen him in fancontent where they really dont hold back and its still played off as ‘kinda funny’ tone.
I really don’t know if people just want any reason to hate me for whatever reason. That’s fine I guess, I can’t please everyone and they dont have to like me.
But like. isn’t it so much easier for the op of that to block me and the post and move on. Why kick up such a fuss. I can see that thinly veiled death threat of a vague. That’s pretty fucked up- Like holy fucking god, you do not have to like my stuff. I’m not holding you at knifepoint to like my stuff. I’ve specifically made two different tags (one general au, one specific au) if anyone wants to blacklist it for their own reasons I do not need to know. I don’t want to know.
You’re allowed to be uncomfortable. You’re allowed to unfollow/blacklist/block.
However you just don’t go ranting about it for something you horribly misinterpreted. If it bothers you so badly, literally just. drop me a message to clarify. thats it. or save yourself the time and block me.
I’ve blocked the op for both our sakes, but if anyone wants to send this post to them, then thats fine. I don’t want anything to do with them.
I don’t want to link the post and blow it up. I just want shit clarified, dropped and we can move the fuck on with our lives. 
If you’re reading this and don’t know what the post is, please don’t bother. I do not want people going after the op with threats, please keep it civil, I’d prefer if you don’t engage with the post at all on my behalf.
Despite this huge wall of text, I do not want this to be a big deal, so please don’t ask me about the details.
_
As for anon, feel free to dm me either on here or. Maybe on discord if you’d still like to suggest or have something more cleared up. I’m still willing to hear any kind of feedback, and i want to thank you again for being reasonable about this
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aloesarchives · 4 years
Note
im sorry to hear abt ur situation! take it easy and don’t feel bad for not being able to write or post as much. that being said, do u think u could squeeze in a fluffy gaolang x fem!reader scenario where the reader is an artist and likes to use him as reference for practice? tysm!
Sure thing, Anon! Sorry if it's not as much as I usually write but I hope you enjoy.
Warning: Narrator(aka me) swearing
Having artists block is goddamn terrible. It's been like this for a month and you couldn't take it anymore. No matter how hard you tried to get inspiration, it either was an unfinished project or it wasn't enough to satisfy your artistic nature. The thing about you is you're a well-known artist that does digital but mostly traditional art. You always carry around a sketchbook where ever you go when the thought of drawing comes to mind. Besides doing commissions, you could draw something of your own free will without it looking like a bad art restoration project.
 But once you’re you know once you start drawing, you'll finish at least 3 art projects in a span of 3-4days. Now you just need something to get you going, but what should it be?
While you're sitting on the couch with your sketchbook in hand and chewing your pencil/pen, the clicking of the door snapped you out of the whirlpool of thoughts.
Gaolang's home from work
Upon announcing his return, Gaolang makes his way to the living room. Placing down your stuff on the table, you greeted your beloved with a kiss while taking his blazer to be stem later.
“How's work, Gao?”
“The same as usually, nothing too eventful.”
You nod your head and went to grab your stuff from the table. While walking back, the most random but inspirational epiphany came to your mind. Why not use Gaolang as one of your projects? You always used him as a reference and he doesn't mind it as long it wasn't time consuming. You used old videos of Gaolang’s fights for reference for most of your art work and one note you can make out was that he was beautiful in them. Then again, why wouldn’t he be beautiful? Anyway, your brain went into ultra instinct mode and straight started planning out the art piece. You practically spaced out so hard that Gaolang has been calling out your name for the past minute or so. Once your brain calmed down, you were faced directly with the Thai God of War and his chest.
“(Y/N), is everything okay?”
You looked up to make eye contact towards him with soft eyes.
“Yeah, I’m fine Gao...”
He raised an eyebrow at your answer indicating that he know there’s more behind your behavior. You sigh as you were there was no point in getting pass him.
“Umm, Gaolang, if it possible if I come watch you train tomorrow? I promise I won’t get in the way of your training since one of your boxing matches is coming up soon.”
Gaolang was going to ask why but after seeing the way your hand grasp your sketchbook, he put two and two together and understood what you were going to say to him. He nods his head before going into your shared bedroom to shower and change into more comfortable clothes.
As the next day rolls in, you’re sitting on a wall bench while watching Gaolang practice and train. Although his primary martial art is boxing, he still does Muay Thai training as it would be foolish to forget it. While sketching, you would occasionally stop yourself and watch his movements and strikes. It was almost mesmerizing to see, from fluid clean kicks to the firm precise strikes. It was beautiful. It was also the way Gaolang’s sweat marbled his muscles and the clear focus in his eyes was something for sore eyes. Besides getting sidetrack, you admitted from time and time again that Muay Thai is a gorgeous Martial Art and sport. After all, being the Thai God of War’s girlfriend made you appreciate the art even more. 
By the time he was finished, you already had the sketch completed. Now, it just needs color and the outlining. It took some time but it was worth it, it was finally down. It wasn’t bad either too. You drew Gaolang in one of Muay Thai’s traditional poses and in the background was a roaring tiger that was surrounded by wisps of fire. It was a pretty awesome the more you looked at it. Not a lot of bright colors but the wisps of the flames are an eye catcher. You’ll probably hang it somewhere around the apartment since it looked nice. You asked Gaolang for his opinion, and he said it looks good while kissing your forehead to look at the painting. In return, you hugged his side, slightly snuggling him. 
As you stayed like that with Gaolang, you can for sure know your artist block was gone(for now) as other ideas start to spur up in your creative brain. Most of them involved you and Gaolang together. Those heavenly depictions/mythical peaked your interest, along with the domestic ones as well.
Maybe one about your wedding in the near future but that’s on you to decide
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tylerwritez · 3 years
Text
Tuesday, june 22 2021
I've noticed I'm getting "the shiverys" or "the twitchy" a lot today. Like every time I FEEL something I take a moment to violently tic.... every time I think about certain things I tic.... good things, bad things, things from an hour ago and things from years ago. Tic, tic, tic.
Also, I have... some stuff to explain. Its really no big deal, but you know me: I'll freak out about it anyway. Basically I dissed my friend (rightfully so) around the time that we had just met cos they did something that threw me off.
He saw it in my phone... NOW. it's not RELEVANT anymore and I've since redacted that criticism...and now I gotta explain it to him anwyays. Oh well. I'm good at this stuff. I can get myself outta any situation. I dont even know why I'm talking like this tho... it's not a "Situation" it's just smthn I gotta explain rq.
Oh, today's song recommendation is Spirit Crusher by Death. I'm a huge Death fan...
Also! I gotta study... for my replacement exam. How stressful. Its about photosynthesis, but like, it's not simple. We went DEEP inside those fucking leaves.
One sec, lemme hook up my IV tube
Not an ACTUAL IV tube... just my headphones. But since I'm so #emo, it might as well be a fucking IV tube with the way that I cant live without it.
Its 3:08 and I'm walking home now. I was upset last night but me and Star have made up now lol... it was thAt easy. I'm so defective, making shit hard when it doesnt need to be.
It's so hot out damn. Idk. I had school today, so I had Bio class... I ACTUALLY PAID ATTENTION for once. I had lunch with Star and her friend group, and I honestly kinda feel like they're MY friends now too, even just a little bit.
Actually, I used to rant about feeling lonely like all the time but now I have so many friends it's crazy they all keep inviting me places and it's like people WANT ME AROUND... idk. It makes me happy.
Today I gotta ask if tommroow after school I can go to Bee's house to watch Supernatural (famous homoerotic ghost show)
I should also add songs to Erin's spotify playlist for our picnic saturday which I still need permission to go to.
I gotta ask for Wednesday after school to watch Insidious with Jay  which is apparently really good
Also hes the friend that I gotta explain stuff to... the DrAmA... the ThEaTrE....
Update my dad said yes to hanging out with Bee but first I'm gonna miss school to fix my broken brackets on my braces
Also turns out the house I THOUGHT we were moving into has substantial damage from shifting so... we aRENT moving there.
In case you didn't know, shifting is when like the house that's been built literally SHIFTS like it moves around.
Anwyays Jay just texted me... I'm gonna change into shorts since it's hot, set up my study area,.... and respond to him.
The time is 3:22 p.m.
Wish me. Luck.
Luck is plentiful! As it so often is in my risky, risky life.
I play my cards right. It's a learnt skill.
But also there wasnt much to explain since it passed already and was tiny anywyas.
XD so I've made up with the whole goddamn world by now.
Its 6:31, we saw 1 house. Only one. Its kinda hot out but I'm gonna bike now since we just had supper. I finally finished my homework... I just have to finish one mixed media piece as my final project for art!
Friday is my replacement. On photosynthesis and cell resp. We know this. But what I didn't mention, or I dont THINK I did, is that if I finish my art project before then I have the second block FREE!!! Me, Star, and her friend
A are planning to leave for second block and maybe get mint chocolate chip ice cream!
Also I might eat her out XD
Anyways idk. I hope I can bike tonight to call Jay.
I keep accidentally using people's real names here then having to correct it... I dont know how much i care about MY identity being discovered... but to have my friends doxxed would suck.
Man I feel bad abt saying fuck star last night cos we made up....
Wait we r looking at another house? Idk I'm in the car still waiting to go home
Oh wait no now we r goin home
Its 6:39... I hope I still have time.
I went biking, called Jay. Went home. Idk, friendly conversation... we talked more tonight and I also talked to my other friend A. Jay is... I LOVE HIM?? SO MUCH??? I feel so happy. Talking to him thinking about him seeing his STUPID FUCKING FACE JESUS. his eyes alone... I could stare at his face all day probably. I want to kiss him... hOLD HIS HAND... omg... huG HIM!!! Eofjwpxjwie he's so sweet like I can't even... and I'm proabably not good enough for him like. Wtf. Hes easily a 10. And I dont rate things outta 10. How tf do I end up with HIM? Doing stuff, as friends. Like wHAT. I guess I got lucky XD. He says he loves my personality and I'm hot XD ofc I dont see it myself. But like. JESUS CHRIST he could proabably easily pull whOever. XD me?
Whatever though. As long as we r together and stuff. I LOVE HIM A LOT. he said he loved me. Every time he says that it makes me so overly happy.
Maybe I'm just sappy and stuff.... whatever. I think it would be nice to be hugged by him.
Yeah I'm cheesy.
I'm sorta tired now so maybe I'm not writing the best.
I just keep thinkinf about love. Love is a muscle of evil suggestion. But how evil can it really be? I am just a human being and that is all. Everything else is applied. I am just a human being with soemthing in my heart that pulls me all over the place. Love is this strange thing because I'm fucked up and to be able to love without that fucked up part of me, without the damage... is this complicated, hard thing to do and I can NEVER tell if I'm doing it right but I know I'm DOING IT. I know I FEEL LOVE. And soemtimes it's such an intense thing like when you go to surf on a wave at the beach with ur belly but u hit it wrong and it's so big and overwhelming it washes over you and PULLS you down to the bottom and smushes your face into the sand and YOU CANT BREATHE jesus Christ it's like that.
Or maybe I just want to experience love as it should be felt.
Obviously all of my problems surrounding this Damage could be easily fixed if I went to therapy but. there are reasons I can't.
I LOVE a lot. Too much for my own good. Enough to hurt me, get me into trouble, etc etc but also... enough to liberate me. I LOVE. I love Jay. So much. LIKE. MY BRAIN ORBITS AROUND HIM CONSTANTLY THINKING OF HIM AND PRAISING HIM AND MWUAH HE IS SO LOVELY I BOW BEFORE HIM...
I think as much as I love, a lot of the times I tend to focus even more on BEING loved.
If I am told I am loved, and shOwN I am loved... it is one of the most powerful things. Especially since I was literally emotionally neglected in childhood... yeah. I feel like I'm always trying to fill that hole.
Not EVERY feeling I have is for that reaosn but sometimes, if you tell me you love me, show me you love me, hug me,... I'll like start crying,,, that's the childhood emotional neglect kicking in. If you call me #smol and #cute and say I look young and fragile which happens more often than you'd think XD, I know I'm not supposed to like that shit, so I act like I dont....but I do. Which is PROBABLY ALSO THE CEN 🤪  like whatever lol
Anwyays I'm fucked up
You see how quickly things become complicated in my mind?
Convoluted? Is that the word?
Whatever. I OVERCOMPLICATE THINGS COS I OVERTHINK THEM BECAUSE I'm LITERALLY MENTALLY ILL IN SO MANY DIFFERENT WAYS. I'm not joking. I obviously have unresolved undiagnosed "issues"
I do Suspect things, though.
I can make a list
Maybe I shouldn't.
Maybe I will.
I shouldnt.
Whatever.
I used to hate when people brought up my self harm. I would actually panic. I still self harm but now? Now I'm fine with anyone  talking about it as long as it's not an adult who can get me into trouble/force me into therapy over it. Because really? I kinda like having it mentioned. It's kinda validating and it's like hey... people can see that I'm sick.
I dont do it so people talk to me about it though. Dont get me wrong. If I did, I'd go vertically on the arms, not for suicide but so it healed and people would ask XD.
My scars are actually VERY hidden... cos I never intended for ANYONE to see. But for those who DO see them,,,, it's nice soemtimes to have people express concern.
I dont wanna be PITIED or anything, but idk I just think to myself "wow, they're CONCERNED... about ME... they arent angry or mean... they didnt yell at me or threaten me... they respect my autonomy and privacy...
And they CARE ABOUT ME..." and it makes me cry.
That's also the CEN.
I dont know. I just like when people express genuine concern. Even if they see and then just ask if I'm okay. That's all it takes cos then I go wow.
Its validating and irs lovely because finally people care... FINALLY PEOPLE CARE. FINALLY I GET SOME EMPATHY OR SYMPATHY AND NO ANGER.
Even just having them brought up tells me its noticeable enough
My brain does this thing where it thinks nothing bad that's ever happened to me was Bad Enough for me to be upset about.
And I dont know... its nice sometimes to be told shit like "omg that looks so bad" or to see that people who do see my cuts are somewhat shocked or revolted... it's nice because I go... "hey, it was bad enough for them..."
Or to have people comment on them with concern. Just ANYTHINT WHERE PEOPLE NOTICE IT AND ARENT ASSHOLES ABOUT IT IS VALIDATING.
Because I'm not used to that...
Because CEN
I'm. The worst perosn on the fucking planet.
I should kill myself.
I suddenly actually feel so self hating I do want to kill myself... oh god.
I ruin everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. What have I done. Like. Why. Oh god.
I'm just remembering when Star said my kindness seemed like an act. And how I've been called out for seeming fake like 2 other times.
DO I SEEM FAKE???? I DONT EVER PUT ON ACTS OF KINDESS.... CONCIOUSLY? but the very idea that I could be perceived that way...
Should I like not try to be nice or some shit?
Jesus christ she hurts my feelings even now when it was a long time ago.
But I cant blame her. I can't blame anyone for how i feel except my parents because they left me with fucking. Heart nerve damage or some shit.
I'm tired and now I'm sad too. Goodnight guys.
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b4bivr · 4 years
Text
random WINX CLUB opinions
there are no seasons that can top the first three ones. i know some people have a different view on this and don't agree with me but the first three seasons were the best. the girls and boys had an unique personality and appearance, there were GOOD TRANSFORMATIONS and the plots and storylines were better overall. there was not as much love drama as in the new seasons and if i'm not wrong there was only one kind of transformation which brings me to my next opinion ,,
the excessive transformations are a no-no. the first type was enough, there was literally no need to bring more and more transformations that all end in "-ix". i would've been neutral to them if they were good but they're not even that, they're poorly thought out and boring.
WHAT CLOTHES ARE THESE GIRLS WEARING??? tell me in what universe musa and tecna would wear a mini skirt, that's right, in none. like okay maybe musa would wear a skirt, even tho she's quite tomboy-ish i think she'd wear a decent skirt that'd fit the tomboy style, like a denim knee high skirt with side pockets or something. BUT NO, SHE WEARS MINI SKIRTS 😳 both her and tecna are wearing something maybe only stella would, it really bothers me lmao. also, why do they have no specific style anymore? they all wear the same clothes but in different colors. AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON RIVEN HOW WHEN AND WHY WOULD HE EVER WEAR A SCARF WHAT THE FUCK
riven is not a bad character, he's actually my favorite specialist. he did fuck up a few times i admit, but he's the kind of person that keeps their emotions bottled up, probably why when he fucked up he was droven by the rage, insecurities and jealousy he never talked about. he was pretty toxic towards musa, probs because of his bad experience with women (his mom, darcy) but let's be honest, musa wasn't a saint either, she was toxic as well. not blaming her for rivens actions, just saying that you shouldn't blame only him for how their relationship worked out. riven is also the most loyal (both to his friends and girlfriend) out of the boys (not counting the times he was under a spell or manipulated with magic). he's protective, street smart and wouldn't hesitate to risk his life for the people he loves. best specialist right there. and the way they portrayed him in the new seasons really bothers me, he was badass, that was his thing (just like timmy being nerdy) but now he's just... a walmart version of sky and brandon combined. i do like the fact the he tried to work on his issues tho
flora ain't all that. don't get me wrong, she's one of the prettiest winx members (if not the prettiest), she's kind and generous, but that's about it. she doesn't have any flaws and doesn't go trough any growth whatsoever. it's always "omg i feel so connected to this flower" "omg the power of friendship" and "omg helia here and helia there" GIRL NO, she's the only one that lacks personality in the first few seasons.
there's no need for a live action movie/series. there i said it. a lot of you will disagree with this, i know, but hear me out. who even are the actresses that are supposed to play them? i've never seen them act before and they don't even look like the girls. where is the asian musa and the latin flora? nowhere. WHY DID THEY GIVE FREDDIE THORP RIVENS ROLE LIKE NO NO NO, YOU CANNOT TELL ME HE'S RIVEN LIKE YOU CAN JUST NOT . i mean okay maybe they just want to change the story, understandable, but they're changing it COMPLETELY. just don't name the movie or whatever it is winx then, name it something unrelated to that. lowkey feeling that they're calling it something with winx club to attract fans.
why do the trix keep coming back after season 3? there's no need for them anymore. they're my fav winx villians but they're just repetitive and plain boring now. i'm kinda neutral to that tho so i don't really have a lot to say abt it
don't get me started on the racism and white washing cause it'll take ten pages, just know that i completely despise it and i do not understand how layla, musa and flora look white.
the new art is HORRIBLE I HATE IT I DONT WANT TO SEE IT EVER AGAIN
sky is trash and you can't change my mind. he cheated on bloom and diaspro, he keeps lying and lying, he's a BIG hypocrite, gets jelous when bloom makes eye contact with a guy but HE CHEATED ON HER and doesn't give a flying fuck about her feelings but tries to play the goody two shoes boyfriend role just so she doesn't break up with him.
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feisty-fae · 4 years
Note
If you still do the flower ask thingys.. 👉👈 𝘼𝙡𝙡 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢 𝙜𝙤 :)
HoooH boY hEre we gO-
Alisons: Sexuality?
I sexually identify as a can of beans
Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?
Cis female she/her
Amaryllis: Birthday?
27 September
Anemone: Favorite flower?
All flowers pretty,, but stargazer lily, rose, dahlia and cherry blossoms
Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show?
I don't watch tv but I'll list some other stuff i like to watch:mha, beastars and aggretsuko
Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger?
Idk depends on scenario??
Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes?
"Kanye West he likes, fingers in his ass."
Aubrieta: Favorite drink?
Any Milkshakes or smoothies (mostly banana and strawberry for milkshake and p much anything for smoothie)
Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
I've never had kith
Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?
Well you see yes but actually no
Baneberries: Favorite song?
I listen to a lot but to keep it short:baby in the kitchen, in my mouth and friends slowed (chase atlantic)
Basket of Gold: Describe your family.
We p chill fam
Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it?
Irl bestie,, shes not on tumblr lol
Begonia: Favorite color?
PinKKK
But i like most colours
Bellflower: Favorite animal?
Cats,,,,
FoxES,
ANYTHING CUDDLY AND CUTE
Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?
Night
Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?
I'd be like a doggo bc it would be the most fun i think-
Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
I wanted to be a vet but then when my granny asked me "but whos gonna clean up the animal poop?" I was like "eWW pO0pP!" and then decided that mayb i shouldn't be a vet
Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?
They're either really kind and sweet
Or literal demons from hell
Legit no inbetween
Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?
I'm afraid of lot of things-
Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood.
I was one dumbass bitcg-
Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth?
Idk eat pizza and cry or smth ajakamkw
Buttercup: Relationship Status?
Single
Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go?
NEW YORKKK, CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE DREAMS ARE MADE OFFF THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN'T DO NOW YOU'RE IN NEW YOOORKKK
Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?
When someone hugs me or just generally spends time with me
Canna: Do you have any tattoos?
Nop
Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?
I used to have piercings when i was a bab but eHh haven't worn them since and i dont think my ear holes are big enough now-
California Poppy: Height?
4'10 grrr I'm the omega midget and I'll devour ur ankles
Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?
Nop
Carnation: What are you currently wearing?
Pant, pink top and black hoodie
Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?
I think i have??
Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?
My mom and my dad
Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed?
I never kith
Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?
I dont have one so imma say sans bc it always looks out of place and makes me laugh-
Columbine: Are you tired?
No
I feel like screaming and jumping around my room like a crackhead
Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to?
Nothing in particular ig
Coneflower: Dream job?
Smth kinda fun and art or design related hopefully,,,,
Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert?
Introvert but i also get lonley easily
Crocus: Have you ever been in love?
Nop,,,,
Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?
I would get run over by 5 monster trucks, jump off a plane, get mauled by 10 bears, get trampled on by a stampede, get brutally tortured for 12 hours straight, yeet myself into the Grand Canyon and then break all my bones with my bare hands if they weren't broken already
Ok basically i care a lot
Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it?
I had this st bernard plush called Sparky and this lion named Sammy,,
Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?
Libra
Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?
My memory is legit so bad it's probably concerning uHHH
Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?
Mayb art??
Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)?
Ehhh i might reason with them and then if they still disagreed I'd just keep the relationship a secret
Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?
My parents
False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?
Ehhh arT
Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?
EhhHh everything that isn't art-
Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?
Oh boy here comes my shitty memory-
Hmmm
Idk but I'm mostly happy that I've been more social and stuff and i feel like im kinda coming out of my shell a bit
Not sure what to say for other 2 bc nothing in particular has really happend?
Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?
Ehhh oK??
Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?
Mayhapsn't
Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?
I hope to pass all my exams and get an okish job mayb
Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life?
1.fRIENBS ILY MY HABIBIS
2. Fammm
3. eHhh yummy food,,
4. Drawing and uhhh art
5. EPIC MUTUALS
6. Ok idk what else aside from like serious stuff like house and etc.-
Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed?
Drawing, crying, venting to a friend/parent
Hellebore: How do you show affection?
Hugssss,kith,cuddle, *draws u stuff*
Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?
MmmmmMy aRRt?
Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day.
Wake up
Don't go to school
Vibe with friends
Sleeb
Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?
MmMmMM aRT-
Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?
Ehh 8yrs? We met in hell school
Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?
Friendos
Mom
Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?
6..?? Aa idk theres some people that idk if they'd consider me a friend or not,,
Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?
Idk any compliment is best compliment for me,,
Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?
Ew yucky gröss
Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?
m y a r t
Also my hair bc its soft and wavy,,
Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?
Everything else-
Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?
Climb trees and do dumb shit
Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid?
Same irl bestie i mentioned before
Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?
MmmmmmMMM,,,
Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?
MMMmMMmMMMMmmmMMm,,,,,,
Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name?
Well I chose Fae bc i thought it sounded pretty
Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.
Idk what to rlly say lmao
Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?
Kinda the same but i had toys everywhere-
Also when i was like 5 i had this legit fucking cursed thomas the tank engine shaped bed that i actually found a pic of but it's FUCKING HORRIFYING SO I PROBS WONT SHOW HERE-
Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?
EW BEING A TEENAGER SUCKS ASS HOW DO I UNDO????
Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.
Hi mom ily ur epic
Onions: Tell about your dad.
Hi dad ily ur epic
Orchid: Tell about your grandparents.
Omg i miss my grannies sm bc i couldn't see em this year bc nasty pandemic
Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable?
Haha shit memory gor brrRR-
I don't really remember too many specific parties but when i was like 7-10 i had these epic parties in those birthday places with the giant play areas
I kinda wish i wasn't too old to go to them sobs
Peony: What was your first job?
I haven't had a job yet
Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any?
Hmmmm idk? I haven't really thought abt that but i don't really mind i just wanna find someone to vibe with,,
Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?
I cri
Pink: Where is home?
Home is home home
Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change?
Now where do i start...
Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them.
I look up to people that are kind, caring, brave, funny, cool or stronger than me ig?
Primrose: Describe your ideal life.
Basically my current life minus school, stress,pandemic and responsibilities lmao
Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child?
I used to believe in ghosts after i thought i encountered one
Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life?
Hermmmst
Rose: What’s your favorite sound?
Peoples laughsss also music
Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory?
Bro i dont have one,, my aphantasia makes it hard for me to remember stuff-
Sage: What’s your least favorite memory?
A
Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want?
I wantttt better chargersss thattt donttt telll meee thatt myyy tablett will finishh chargingg innn 1 dayy andd 7 hoursss
St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things?
Kinda difficult but im opening up more
Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?
fRIENDS,,,,,wAh
Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?
8 hrs
Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?
Idk ig i kinda have to go to school and do stuff
Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job?
Non existant
Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?
My black and white stripy top, and all my hoodiess
Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic.
I don't think i have just one aesthetic bc im drawn to so many different aesthetics at the same time-
Like vintage, neon, dark, spoopy, pastel, cute, etc etc
Tulip: What would be the best present to get you?
OMG I LEGIT JUST SCREAM AT ANYTHING ANYONE GIVES ME-
IF SOMEONE GOES OUT OF THEIR WAY TO MAKE ME SMTH I CRY,,
Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?
🤏
Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called?
I haven't been reading anythinggg
But i should really finish reading Percy Jackson bc it do be picking up dust-
Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?
Everywhere
Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?
Mmm yummy 👅
Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.
I am currently living and breathing yes
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caandlelit · 5 years
Note
Dabihawks college au?
man this is literally the most valid au the league have been described as "dumbass 20 something year olds" and "stupid college kids" at leasT thrice nd thats really all they are
lmao, next time the manga updates itll just be jin going "woaH woAH heY that went dark tenko" and itll be zoomed out to show a table where the league sitting around with because theyre actually a bunch of nerds playing dnd
except its a whole new universe with quirks bc shimura thought dungeons and dragons was too restricting
more on that later perhaps?? i have a sudden many thoughts™
okay so dabi takes art !! because hes gonna be a tattoo artist, the best au tbh
hes strolling through college he doesnt care what happens hes already got a job at his favorite tattoo parlour hes doing chill
which is hugely different from fucking everyone else
hawks is taking the hardest fucking criminology and psychology courses
hes gonna end up a detective u know he is
he wants to help the world but he hates attention???
and his backstory was like, that he saved some people and the police ended up needing him somehow
idk im not a crime fiction author im barely an author
and theyre impressed af by how quickwitted and smart he is
then they ask him who his parents are and when he shows them the neglect he lives with they woOSH him away
and he ends up being fostered but hes gonna have a police career
police detective! ft! buddy cops with rumi!
(i am writing a cop and thief au now. i get sidetracked easily)
dabi as the chill as fuck delinquent guy who doesnt seem to care about anything and is breezing through classes he loves and claims to have never touched a book
and hawks as the constantly stressed and yet cheerful and lovable guy who lives in the library and still manages to be friends with everyone on campus and their mom
dabi secretly a graffiti artist in his spare time please give me the good shit??
hawks as the loser in love with the murals and messily intricate spraypaint telling stories on the walls near the campus coffeeshop and all through the streets he walks through to get to class
he tries to detective it out, has a notebook where he writes down every clue he can find and all the places hes seen that unmistakable art style
dabi meets hawks because hawks catches him graffiti-ing up an alley near hawks' dorm
its like late night and hawks is getting back from, noT a party
the library
where he fell asleep
again
and he sees dabi whos hood is up and is in full black and busily spraying an intricate design of flames licking up what look like angel wings
and hawks freaks for a second cause !! this is the guy!! holY shit and he found him by chance!! insane!!
then inhales and whispers a cool line
'thats illegal in like literally every country i can think of you know'
dabi, the bitch, doesnt even turn around and just scoffs and goes:
"who r u a cop? mind your business"
hawks brightens and starts and when he starts he doesnt stop
'um actually- i aM! or thats what ill eventually be! hi, im hawks, and, uh, sorry man i was mostly kidding about the illegal thing, mostly, like, it iS illegal but i dont care, ive actually seen your art a lot and its great to finally meet the artist cause your art is amazing dude, i love your style, i always feel some kind of emotion even with all the cuss words hidden not so subtly in the corners-'
dabi turns around, eyebrows raised cause goddamn this guy talks some shit, and when he turns around his eyes widen and he's like holy fucK
bc
surprise!
he has a secret crush on him!!!
im so predictable its not even funny
hawks is the pretty boy dabi has been stalking ever since he saw him dead asleep in the library a month ago and thought was the 'cutest person on the planet even though he was drooling and snoring and had eyebags visible from like so far away and oW okAY fuyumi yoU rant abt girls to mE i am allOWED to rant abt boys to yOU jaCKASS-'
so from then on they keep seeing each other everywhere
or well, dabi had already been seeing him everywhere, the pitiful stalker that he is
hawks was just too dead to the world to notice
hawks spills his coffee on dabi while hes at a hurry in starbucks and hes like oH shIt and when he looks up and sees dabi hes like,,oh shiT,,,, and theyre both all flustered and hes babbling apologies and promises to buy him another after his class
leaves in a hurry and dabi wonders if he just scored a date
the league is a frat and you cannot convince me otherwise!! meet me in the fucKIn pit
ive probably said that before tbh
well
i am a dumbass bitch. i will never change. this is a promise.
so dabi's in the frat and theyre always teasing him about hawks and telling him to grow some balls and get his number but,,dabi's a pussy ass bitch
theyre constantly flirting and toeing the line between friends and wanting to fuck
but theyre friends and always hanging out and getting to know each other
hawks starts chilling about his classes more and dabi gets better at showing up to his own
hawks gets to know the league through dabi and within a month hes practically an honorary member hes bffs with everyone
hes suddenly always at the frat and playing mariokart with jin and spinner
and then staying the night in dabi's room when it gets too late for dabi to feel okay letting him walk back
and sharing beds and then waking up tangled together nd staring at each other blushing
and hawks stutters and tries to excuse the way hes pressed up against dabi and not moving at all
and then he wonders why dabi isnt moving either and dabi just sighs and kisses him quiet
dumbasses??? as fuck
let! them! be! the! stupid! college! kids! they! are!
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Text
session 15 notes
Ok true crime as in my new addiction is true crime podcasts specifically about serial killers
Back to the session
 After getting a bit of a reality check from durnan about the supposed strength and power of the xanathar guild…
Protected our home w glyphs of warding
Last day of our contract
Spell is set to fade soon
Asyna is feeding ot
Ot looks at asyna like he's a cornered animal
"ot here's some meat"
Why is krystal roasting me about my lover
He wants poison
Ot is calling his jailers idiotic
Oh no aerana might be spilling beans
I really shouldn't be allowed to play games
Because I will always turn to the chaotic evil character
Aerana isn't giving anything up
Theo tells us about the plumbers who came over last night
Aerana is going to typ, rest of party is staking out house
Shifts to watch ot, adam takes front, asyna tower lookout (it's foggy tho so perception check at disadvantage, 9; city looks a little eerie in the fog)
Cel puts immovable rod across cellar door
Ot is suspicious whenever cel comes in
"you cannot fool me xanathar"
Cel making theo a new cloak
Ot asks cel when he'll turn him into dust
The xanathar can turn ppl into dust
Flare ?
Is flare the brain boy ?
I don't like the energy we've created around the word "enlightenment"
Cel rolls 18 insight check
Ot doesn't think cel is cel
Cel is gonna just vibe witth him
"WHEN U SLAY ME I WILL THINK NOTHING BUT HATEFUL THOUGHTS"
Sorry didn't mean caps but too lazy to fix
Everyone else
Adam in front hissing at neighbors and cats, 7
Hears pavement scuffle, someone approaches and reddish gtray beard person w non-descript gray cloak approaches; trench
Doesn't remember cellar and plumbers guild coming by night before
Trench says he can help
Help get bar open
Used to drink there a lot
Gets parchment and quill with ink
Rolls insight to see if bar was only thing he wasd interested in, 13, trench seems v interested
Works in surveillance, protection
Gives him cel and theo's name "5 copper please"
Gets 5
Adam picks his nose
Theo patrols entrances
13 for perception
Overlaps path w adam's
Aerana to typ
Afternoon when there
Similar pattern to those there; frequent patrons
"if I'm making up words, it's not really hitler"
8 perception
Place feels open, not as packed as it usually is
Still feel sensation of cold from the well
Wizard w pointy red hat a regular
You see goliath wizard talking to a dwarven woman
Aerana sees an elven man (bard) w "ugliest guy you've seen in your goddamn life" dom says but only after we point out he looks like legolas, tuning a lute
Sense you've seen him before
The wellllllllllllllllll
It is better told by a bard
Some patrons old and strange, others just like to drink
But ritual in the storytelling
Durnan built
Gwyliam
Talking in elvish
Place formerly not too populated
But one of durnan's ancestors came over to build upon it and discovered the well
Network of tunnels underneath
20 for history check
Familiar with some of what he's saying
Parents would throw you into the undermountain if you were bad
Undermountain = stirs weird memory in your head
Being told as a child stories of undermountain
Deep dark fearsome place
Mt waterdeep wizard came here once named hallister the black cloak
Hallister - ppl don't know where he was from / if he was real but legendary
Brought apprentices trained in magical arts
Tunneled on peak of mt waterdeep
Legend of undermountain could not be verified as truth
Durnan's ancestor came to typ
Climbed into well
"I wouldn't bring this up around him" - doesn't talk abt
When ancestor returned was fabulously rich
Split money with best friend
Built typ
Occasionally engages in ritual of going
No one truly knows what lies in undermountain but there's something there bc some return but most do not
"it might just be the sewer" - "but don't tell anyone I said that"
Differing renditions
Some say durnan was the one with magical powers and killed everyone in there, or more nuanced speaking only of tragedy of those who return who come back fearful or returning with smaller parties; others talk more of hallister and argue over his life; every night a different story
Ask if he knows anyone who's come back
Gestures to half-orc in corner playing variation of solitaire; great celebration when he returned, he came back with riches
He is a regular
21 history check
Undermountain
Familiar name
"Deepest dungeon of them all"
When sewers were built many passages abandoned bc other halls + passages found, many teams from cellars and plumbers guild died during construction of the sewers
Prisoners often thrown into "undermountain"
Says even tho he's here most days there's still stuff he doesn't understand about it; new community reforged every night
At some point durnan talking to wizard and having a conversation which is odd ? Eventually wizard looks at aerana (old man) skinny pointy red hat
Wizard squinting at aerana then turns back to conversation
Try talking to half-orc
Interesting plated beard almost like that on dwarves wrt ornamentation; jewelry running through it
Wiry half-orc
Not skinny but muscled
Weird tattoos covering one side of his face looking like they change a little bit
Balanced a little precariously
Ask if he wants to play a two-person card game bc he's playing solitaire
Ask for his favorite game, Skipper (slapjack)
Dexterity check
5, 20, 10
First round you lose, his fingers have strange looking rings beautiful but rough-worn bands of steel or other heavy metal
Second you win
Third round he takes
"say not many people can beat me in that game"
"luck favors the bold"
In the well
Hell but now look at him can gamble all he wants
City of balder's gate
Large city rough place to grow up
Turned into rough child living on streets
Says his name is Sand
Balder's gate warlords make life difficult so he decided to leave
Was found in youth by someone who turned his anger into smth holy
Ran into thieves and plunderers of forgotten relics, became brother and sister and decided to take on deepest dungeon of them all
Horrible things - asks if you've heard the song
The yawning portal song
Not many people know the full tale
Was taught to be skeptical (it's in his nature or maybe his name)
Not sure how long he was in there or didn't know when he was in there
No light
Tunnels are confusing and without it would've been lost; found room with throne with snakes for arms
Great hallway with ancient trap
Living things also in there; all manner of beasts and creatures; ppl don't come back bc of those
Killed goblins down there but after the things he's seen and after the things he'd had to do could've gone with killing a few more goblins
Advice ? Some will sell maps of what they found or what they think they've seen; anyone can tell u abt beasts down there
Durnan wouldn't lower us down
Durnan doesn’t send ppl to their deaths
Durnan lowers people he deems worthy
Strong brave smart fast bold enough or some combo
But even then not everyone comes back
It's a place of death
Not buying him lunch lmao
Has broken into dangerous old elf dungeons like in the ones up north and would do it again if he could unsee some of the things he saw down in the well
A place of death but things move in the shadows w tombs down there and tunnels for miles hallways great and tall, treasures, beasts keeping it for themselves
Ask about tattoos
Gift from master
The person who saved him in balder's gate
Steeped in magic of shadows
Powerful bc he is strong but qi is stronger still
Aerana gets back home but starts to rain heavily
Ppl still patrolling
Adam
Sees drow ? W purple colored eyes silver-ish hair hiding weapons under his cloak steps up and says "pardon me" and asks if adam's seen a cat
Large cat - would've know if saw it
Adam sends drow to trench
Adam gives him good up and down look, can he see weapons ? Carrying two cinotaurs ??? Sinotaur ???? Adam rolls insight for cat
14, seems like he's talking abt a cat
Heads off to trench
Asyna in watchtower guessing ppl's names
Cel and theo switch
Theo says hi to ot, ot curled up in corner
Whispers "hey ot what's up"
Says he should've gone with his gut on the day theo arrived
"dark elegance" "the way you glided into the room" - ot on theo
Ot says he knows how the xanathar pays theo
"I guess seeing you was a realization of my deepest fear" a fear he couldn't name or place or knew he had but out of the darkness theo stepped forward
"I'm curious . How long do you leave your victims like this"
Ot starts to cry and says he would beg her to keep him in this place
"this voice you're using I find it sweet"
"I just don't want to wake up before the end"
Theo is gonna get him food
"the poor dead tiefling told me yesterday"
7 insight
Theo does not know what's happening
Says the water theo gives him looks real
Looks at the wall drinks some water
"and it tastes real"
We kinda fucked ot up LMAO OOPS
"I know that you don’t have a heart… but if there's any chance that anything I've ever said or thought about you could take root in your soul"
Theo says she'll consider his request
Sits there for a half hour then asks if that's her real name
"nithlur" or smth like that
Nihloor
"where'd you hear that"
In his head lmao
What if this is like
A tapeworm
In his head
"what does knowledge taste like"
Asks if it's a feeling or a thought
Theo says it's a feeling
Ot says whatever knowledge is it's valuable to the right thing
Wonders if he can take a nap
Gonna take a nap
Adam forgot he made ott think he was dead
Aerana is taking over for theo
Adam takes first watch
Perception check, 22
Raining ohp so at disadvantage gotta do it again
New roll, 12
Rain is still falling
Hears a weird noise coming from outside the house
Uses thaumaturgy to boom voice saying "wake up"
Everyone sleeping wakes up
Goes toward sound
Hears weird growling noise
Goes semi-toward noise w pyrotechnics prepared; darkvision does he see anything
Sees shape
It's not the cat
Unfamiliar, looks like it's flying but more like it's floating
Bobbing up and down in air
Creature w large glassy eye and sagging mouth w lots of sharp teeth
Sticking out from form are eyes attached to a slug protruding off it w glassy eyes hanging off it
Intense stench making icky moaning noise
Adam shits his pants
It's big
The size of its mouth is human size
I've been listening to serial killer podcasts all day
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chrisbangs · 5 years
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so i guess i could type like a practical person for once……. maybe………. but i probably won’t so i apologize ahead of time……… anyway, so i hit? 1k…..? after remaking only 3 months ago... to me that’s pretty crazy because as a lot of my older mutuals will know, i remake like every 0.38 seconds because i’m annoying like that… to the people who’ve been here since forever (you know who you are) it means a lot that you’ve stuck with me through blog type changes (there’s like 1 or 2 of you who’ve just been around since The Beginning and wowza thank you for dealing with me like that ifnawoeiawoef)!!! and to the people who i’ve only recently become mutuals with i apologize cause at any second i will probably be like hee honk time to remake. to all of you, mutuals and followers, thank you for dealing with my stupid lame text posts about chan or my crazy ‘content creators deserve better’ campaigns!! thank you for interacting with me through dms, asks, even just liking my posts and being kind to me when i’m down- i really appreciate that. i’ve been using tumblr for a very, very long time, and tbh, i feel like its not until recently that i’ve found a group of people that i feel very comfortable and happy around. you guys are all so talented and funny and warm and friendly, and i’m so thankful for you guys in my life! thank you so much for allowing me to be a part of your dash !!! i’m really grateful if you’ve ever enjoyed my content (gifs, gfx, etc.) and i hope i can continue to make your dashes and hearts bright whether it be through content or my stupid dumb (i hope funny) tags! i love you all!
(( if theres a 🖤 next to your name!! i’ve left a little message for you under the cut ;; v ;; !!! i hope you know how much i love and appreciate all of you! (i really didn’t proof read these so like… u know… just…….. i apologize foawinefoiwna) ))
@00hj 🖤, @1095, @19gf, @3rachha, @angelhyunjin​ 🖤, @binnieseason​, @binsungz​ 🖤, @boxerminho​, @changbeanie​, @chimneycloud​, @cosmicskz​ 🖤, @dhalfmoonbydean​, @f1owerlix​ 🖤, @huiracha​, @ilovedowoon​, @jedixuxi​ 🖤, @jinlix​ 🖤, @jisquish​ 🖤, @johfam​ 🖤, @kim-seungmins​ 🖤, @kim-woojins​, @kimwuujin​ 🖤, @kqngyounghyun​ 🖤, @luvknow​, @marriael​, @momowlw​, @mydays​, @noairmv​ 🖤, @naekkung​, @parkjinwoo​, @prodskz​ 🖤, @pouringmv​, @realstraykids​, @seofthours​, @seungminsmile​, @soohao​, @sk-z​ 🖤, @skzbffie​, @skzd​ 🖤, @stray-kids​, @straykisd​, @theminho​ 🖤, @uayv​ 🖤, @ultscb​ 🖤, @wayvgf​ 🖤, @yngbok​
@00hj​: hello karen! wow :( it feels like forever since we’ve been mutual… like i really cannot believe it’s been??? 7/8 months since we first became friends? like it doesn’t even feel that long. i know time flies and we’re at that point in our lives where every day just flashes by but :( even in those moments that do pass by, you’re always there making me smile. through your killer content or your funny jokes or those convos where we’re both just yelling abt how much we HATE group projects… its all fun :( you always make me smile and make me want to work harder. when i see how hard you work??? it just makes me want to work /that/ much harder. from your gfx to your gifs!! you are a pillar in this community and i am so honoured to be pals with u man faionwefoaie !!! to top that off, i feel like i can always ask you anything- any dumb questions i have abt making things, anything that’s just kinda eating at me, i feel like i can talk to you about it. you’re such a comfy place !! a comfy warm person !! and i love you dearly! i hope you get to kick back with jisung and hyunjin and enjoy a slice of pie!!
@angelhyunjin​: hello angi! my darling you work so so so hard! your art is always stellar and always wowing! i know sometimes you worry about posting, but please remember to put your health first;; its hard to think about yourself sometimes, i know, but remind yourself that !! to make smth nice, you need to be well first!!! anyway;; your art never fails to make me smile. like your style is sososo distinct and memorable?? and also?? you’re an amazing dancer!!! your covers are always so lovely and you do such a great job :( i can tell how passionate you are about things through both your art and your dance! thank you for always working hard and being kind to everyone around you! i love you dearly angel! hyunjin is sending his love!
@binsungz​: yooooo whaTS UP HOMIE FIAWNOFANWFO HELLO BABY!! MY WHORE PARTNER!!!!!!!! MY GIRL!!!!!!!!! literally what do i even say here that i haven’t already said to you??? you’re one of my closest friends online and you ALWAYS make me laugh. from talking abt nsfw things to cute things to minecraft and gaming!!! you always always get me !!! you just have a knack for understanding me?? and that’s just :( so appreciated!!!! you !!! are !!! amazing dude!!! ur gifs are always so clean; you’re one of the reasons i started working harder to make my gifs better bc you inspired me !! you’re always so kind and warm and loving ; and i can always talk with you abt sucking dicks or eating pussy like IT REALLY DO BE LIKE THAT !!!!!!!!! i was going through my old blog and i found those videos you did where you looked through my blog and when i heard your voice again and you being like ‘omg ur so funny’ i was ready to scream cause it was still so fuiowenaowieaoe fricking cute :(((( dude I LOVE YOU!!!! like you really are one of the kindest people in the world and i can’t stop !! saying !! how thankful!!! i am for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love you so much britt !! thank you for always dealing with me and being kind to me and just fjaoweifnaow you’re really the best :((( jisung and [redacted] love u but not as much as me ok foaiwneoaiwnfia ……..
@cosmicskz​: hello gumdrop!!! my love!!! thank you so much for always hyping – not just me- but everyone up!! you are sososo kind and so so so SO warm and cute and oawifenawo precious!!! please remember to take care of your health and of yourself too!! loving everyone around u is important but also take care of yourself TT TT !!! your content is also always so cute and thoughtful and you put 110% into everything you do ????? like !!!!!!!!  ma’am????? so talented and pure ;; ___ ;; like i don’t know how you do it but you do !!! also thank you for ALWAYS offering to look @ my work and give me advice etc etc!! i am so appreciative of it ;; also – i know i don’t always reply that often but !!!!!!!!!!!! i love you and i’m thankful that you’re so patient with me when it comes to dms fjaowiefnawoiefn TT TT you’re ! so ! lovely and sweet and i hope you know !! i’m here for you whenever you need !!! skz and i lovelovelove you!
@f1owerlix​: vale……….. vale………………. VALE……………………………. HELLO…………………. ??? i ??? can’t even find the words to tell you what you mean to me. i’d write a poem but its just gonna end up being long and i’d never be able to finish it bc i’d go back and keep adding bits and lines abt how you’re like the NICEST person in humanities history and that you’re just an all-around talented and wonderful person….. like….. are u KIDDING ME!!!!!!!!!!!! she did that (that = being the kindest person EVER) you’re always using The Most amount of nicknames possible;; and it makes my heart so so so soft. not only that, but you’re also such a kind, genuine, warm person. i don’t know anyone who is as kind, and humble, and talented, and warm like you. i literally could list a billion wonderful things about you because you’re that frucaowienoawikingiawgo amazing…. dude like seriously…. we out here STANNING miss vale….. i was going through my blog a while ago and i saw this tag that was like ‘i got my vale fansite set up and we’re going to start making slogans and planning birthday events’ like past li had it right. you’re so kind and funny and warm and i always feel safe and comfy talking to you. i really appreciate the feedback you give me- because its always so thought out and GENUINE. like… you do this for EVERYONE… all the tags i read from you are so KIND and you always make ccs feel like they’re doing the best job ever…. like you really……. you really are an angel on this ea.rth…. huh….. also…? changbin is dropping by with flowers for you!!!!
@jedixuxi​: hello angel;; i hope you’re doing well!!! thank you for dealing with my blog change and staying mutuals with me regardless of content differing! thank you for always being kind and being patient with me- i know i don’t reply a lot but ;; you are a really good friend to me and i am so so so thankful;; you’re so sweet and warm and such a talented artist;; like everything you draw im always like fjawifeawoej :0000 !!!!! you really have so much love and warmth inside of you and !!! that’s why ur so tall ma’am.. foawiefnoaweifno :’( aaaa thank you so much beth for always being so warm to others; your brightness is like the sun on my dash and in my dms and you always make me smile or laugh its just ;; aofwienaiwneoi I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! and xuxi is also mailing his entire heart your way ok !!!
@jinlix​: hello madam ! hello to my lov e !!! my sweet lil gum drop !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hello KELLY!!!!!!!!!!!! oh my gosh hi bb :( thank you for everything you do; firstly, your gfx?? so incredible ok?? like i know your style immediately when i see it yet you always manage to surprise me?? like your work is so fucking GOOD. how does she do it :// like us plebeians will never kno and that’s how it fuckin be ig afoiwneoaiwnfeoawi ….. omg…. ok…. and like secondly??? youre always so humble and kind to other ppl??? like your tags on anyones work is always so so so so kind TT TT you always say the nicest things- and i still remember the tags you left on one of my very first skz gfxs … like you really made my heart flutter like that huh….. hm…. guess you’re an angel or smth like… that…. gmgamoweigna TT __ TT Kelly seriously you’re such a sweet heart? you love with all your heart and its so warm and soft and whenever you talk abt hyunjin im like jfjfaiweIFAIWo …. my heart !!!!!!!!!!! like he would totally be floored by your love bc of how soft u fuckin are oh ymgmymmym go d !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anyway :( i love u so much and hope you’re well angel!! hyunjin is sending all his love your way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@jisquish​: ok here we go … ma’am… MA’AM… how do i even EXPLAIN the love i feel for u.. oh my gosh.. miss india.. you really exist like that.. like we STAN a whole ass legend huh… not only are you funny and smart and talented and kind and amazing?? you’re also just like.. the coolest bestest person in the world? like i still find it hard to believe you were one of my anons bc like… u just.. u r too … ://// cool… like i’m really just sitting here like… an idiot… from day 1 you’ve always been so fucking kind to me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you have just :( been so sweet and kind and just an all-around angel- and even if we only talk every now and then, i always feel so warm and happy whenever we do!! u know those ppl u don’t have to talk to 24/7 to know that there’s still a warm friendly hug waiting for you??? :(( yea you’re one of those people. you always always ALWAYS make me laugh like hfawoifenoawie :( hello how do u do this?? yet you also are so grounded and warm and understanding and like.. i can’t believe you’re also one of the most talented humans ever;; whenever i see your covers, i’m always like !!! wowowowo !!! you inspire me to work harder with my music and writing ;; you are such an angel :-( and i am so thankful for you! so so so so thankful!!! jeongin and changbin and jisung are sending all their love !!! and so am i bb !!!
@johfam​: if anyone deserves a thank you- it is you. miss nita… jejejsigaweg i feel like i’m gonna cry typing this so here we go…. you’ve been friends with me for more than a year now i believe :( i think we’ve actually hit our year since we became friends which is so wild to me?? you’ve been with me through SO MANY THINGS… like you’ve been my soundboard for so many things in my life.. i can’t believe we started talking bc a spider landed on your hand… and u stabbed ur own hand with a pencil.. like ig we have to thank that spider….. ghanwegoiawen….. you’ve really stuck with me through blog changes and through me being angry abt things and you’ve allowed me to be angry- which i appreciate so much.. you know me so well :// like… idk how you do it but you always make me feel safe and warm and like i can say anything to you and you’ll hear me out?? like oaiwnefaiwenof :( you just !! you’ve supported me so much through so many bad days and i can’t thank you enough. you are made of sunshine and stardust and your heart is literally the softest and warmest. thank you !!! for !!! always enjoying frogs with me and sending me cute frog things.. like.. :( it makes me SO happy that we can enjoy those lil squishy fuckers together.. also thank u for being my source of johnny content jfjawfieawio i’ve literally unfollowed every other nct blog and you’re one of the only ones left bc i still love johnny so much and seeing him on my dash- esp with your tags- makes me so so so happy;; thank you for everything you’ve done for me and !!! and for all the love you’ve given me :( and just for being there for me through some of the toughest places in my life;; i really love and appreciate you!!!!!!!!! johnny is sending his love and some kisses through the mail :’(
@kim-seungmins​: hfhawefaniow…………… hello dumm..y… :( u r the loml.. you’ve been there for me through so much shit in the short amt of the time we’ve been friends.. u were also one of my first friends in this fandom- and i’m so thankful you were bc we got really close during these last few months and it makes me so happy. you’re so funny and you always make me laugh!!! you give me so much confidence and happiness and you make me feel so warm and happy ;; !!!!!! you are a fajfowienawei whole ass angel who is always working hard both to make good content and in school. :( i’m so proud of you for all that you do dude like wowowwowo :( look @ you go ????? you’re also one of the funniest pals i have like u literally make me bust a LUNG laughing … like whenever i get any of my biases together in one screen i now literally think, without even pause, “abia voice: crumbs” likej faweiojaowefoi you’re such an icon!!!!!!!!! also?? like … you’ve just been s o kind to me and helped me with things that i’ve not talked to others with bc you never make me feel like i’ll be judged… like.. you’re so fucking understanding and warm and kind and considerate with how you reply; you always care and you’re just… :( u r angel or smth like that… i know i tease you and that’s kinda how i show my love but for real dude………………. i love u so much.. like if i could give you the whole world i really fucking would.. :( because you deserve nothing less!! thank u for always providing that good good seungmin content ;; seungmin and minho and woojin all told me to tell you that they love you!!!
@kimwuujin​: hello sugar drop!! thank you for being so kind and warm and always just !!! being so sweet :( you always tag me in funny/cute content and it’s always appreciated !!! i feel like i can always be dumb and say stupid soft things abt chan with you bc you’ll understand how i feel :((( you’re so sweet and i’m so glad we started talking more !! you’re not only like faoiwenfaowi incredibly cute and sweet but you’re also so so so so funny !!! :( like you make me laugh and aofwinewaoinoi i really appreciate that!! you’re also so grounded and understanding and !! you always know what to say and i’m really appreciative of the fact that you phrase things so well and eloquently- when will my dumbass ever- anyway fhawjeofaowein i love you with all my heart and hope you’re !! doing well sweetpea !!! chan and are yeeting every ounce of love we have for you to you!!!!!!!!!!!
@kqngyounghyun​: hello my love :( i can’t even remember the first time we talked bc it feels like its been so so so long; and through all of this time you’ve been one of my close friends who’s stuck around with me through so much. you’re always there, and always kind, and just always warm and friendly and a safe place to go. i love that we can bitch abt things with each other but also oiawenfowaie be super soft… but then also talk abt super nsfw things jfawieaoeif aofiwneoai you’ve always been so so kind to me and i really do appreciate it. thank you for sticking with me through all my blog changes and for always supporting me and my dumbassery;; i really hope you know how much i appreciate you and how much i love you! you’re such a hardworking person- like whenever you tell me abt the effort you’re putting in at school its just oifnawiefnaoi wowowow!!! you’re so amazing :(( !!!!! also, you were there for me during one of the Hardest Points In My Life- like a time when i really thought i was going to ofaiwneoiawen lose my mind bc of how much i was struggling……. but you seriously helped me get through that part of my life and i can never fully explain to you how thankful i am. but i love you so much and i’m so thankful. younghyun and i both love you to the ends of the earth ;; __ ;; !!!
@noairmv​: hello ! ! ! miss ai!! the loml!!! angel!! bb gumdrop!! jacob’s baby!!! all names we can use to refer to you!!! :( hello baby!! thankyou! for everything! for all you do! for all you are! you are always honest with me, always genuine, always kind and understanding. you do more than i could ever fucking ask for. i’ve told this to you before but, i think you’re the one person i can go to- without fail- for like.. real life advice… like things that i feel like i cannot ask anyone else, i can ask you. i remember when i was struggling financially i immediately went to you first to talk things through. you give me a lot of clarity and you help me understand my own thoughts and talking to you always puts things into perspective for me. you’re also always there to rant abt nsfw things with which is foaiwnefoaiwn so fun afnowienfao afjfaowefiao but also i get to be super soft with you which is also really :~( the best oof……… i love u so much…….. like, thank you for always looking @ my gfxs, and for always being supportive and understanding and giving me genuine advice. i love listening to you talk abt Jacob (and being rawed by others who are not … Jacob………… ahem………) aofiwnefoaiwno thank you for always being patient with me and for being so kind (and for always faowineoawi saying yes when i propOSE FAOIWNOAIWF ;;) you’re an angel (hee honk) from above and i will always be thankful for you in my life angel bean :( thank you so much for everything ai, i love you SO fucking much… jacob also loves u – he told me to tell u that !!!
@prodskz​: hello my love! ! ! ! i think i told you this once but!! my favourite kinds of relationships are those ones that have a good roast/love ratio!!! and i deeply feel that ours is that kinda relationship!!! no matter how many times we destroy each other aoiwnafienaiowe we’re always like ‘uwu anyway u r my baby’ 2 seconds later and foawinefoiane i love that!!! i love that you will send me 20 messages in a day and i’ll be like yoiNk i forgot but also let me reply to everything at once !! i love that you send me SO many skz memes throughout the day- they make me laugh so hard;; and also you always send me The Best Chan Pics so thank you for that fiawfenfoawienoiwe TT TT you’ve been so kind to me and so so so supportive of all my work ;; whether my gifs or my gfx or just my stupid posts- you are so supportive neha i :( i don’t even deserve the amt of love you give me but fjawoefawoe i ACCEPT ALL OF IT !!!!!!!!!! i’m such a dummy but please know that i love you WITH ALL MY FUCKIN HEART BABY!!!! you are so precious and talented and kind and funny and you are amazing !! like i mean it :( do not !! forget for a second how wonderful you are baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hyunjin would like to also remind you that he loves you to the moon and back (but i love u more ok)
@sk-z​: hi sweet pea !!! :’) i know we only started talking very recently but i already feel so close to you! i just wanted to say thank you for being there for me that night aofinweoianfew and thank you for always being a voice of reason; you’re so understanding and warm and !!! i really am floored but how kind you are!! i know i always say sorry and that’s ifonaweifnaio really just how i am but !! you really make me comfy and it feels easy to just say anything around you and not feel stressed out or judged?? like even things that i blame myself for, you help me see reason and feel better and i just :( i can’t thank you enough for that;; you’re so bright and warm and i really hope we get to continue talking for a long time angel!! i love you!!!
@skzd​: hi haleigh !! i know we haven’t talked in a while but you’re still one of my fav content creators!! even from back when i was an nctzen and we interacted there, to now over on these blogs!!! you’ve stayed such a constant in my life :( and you’ve honestly been nothing but supportive of me :( you’re always so kind whenever we do talk and you’re still one of the funniest people i know;; your tags will never fail to make me laugh;; i really appreciate your presence on my dash and i really want you to know all your content is so beautiful and appreciated;; :( you’re so talented my dude and i love you long time;; i really hope you’re doing well and taking care bc i do love you from the bottom of my heart angel!!! hyunjin is sending his love (and so am i !)
@theminho​: min my little gumdrop!! my sweet sugar bean!! my lil soft angel!!!!!!! hi angel!! :( darn i think you’re one of the ppl i’ve been following longest and oof… OOF.. like :( !! i’m so glad we started talking!! you always make me smile! you are so warm and thoughtful with your words. i’m not sure i know anyone who is as eloquent or as understanding as you. you just.. you really phrase things well. whenever we talk i !! i feel so grounded and like i know oafiwenoaw what you’re saying!! and you’re always so sweet and funny and expressive with what you say :( dude you’re just amazing ok!! and your gifs are always so so so beautiful like… omg…. WOW…. an angel huh TT TT ;; whenever i see your gifs or your tags i’m always so soft!! i’m so proud of you for working hard at school, and though i miss you!! i hope you’re spending your time resting when you get a chance and that school isn’t kicking your butt too much my love!!! i am so proud of you TT TT and i’m sending all my ‘fightings!!!’ and strength your way angel bean!!!! minho is also sending his love and energy!!!
@uayv​: hi darling!!! miss joyce! miss gfx queen! oh my goodness;; first of all- thank you for the BOMB ass content dude… your gfx… wowowowwo..w… secondly, thank you for sticking with me through a drastic blog change;; faoiwenfoaw i’m so glad that we’re still pals bc you’re one of those people that makes me laugh so hard from just your tags alone- and in dms i usually can’t stop smiling/laughing;; aoiwenfoiawenwa !!!!!! listen to me !!!!! the first time i found your blog was bc u rb’d one of my gfxs and left some of the nicest tags ever and i saw you had ‘gfx’ tagged in your bio so when i scrolled through your gfx and i was eMBARRASSED BC LIKE………… DUDE HOLY SHIT THIS PERSON HAD SOME OF THE BEST WORK I’D E V E R SEEN. i still think you are one of the MOST TALENTED GFX MAKERS EVER. you have so much of my respect and love and i wish i could aowiefnoawiefn give you … the whole world dude… awenfiawfeowia TT TT you are so kind to me whenever i ask for a second opinion on my gfx and you’re always so warm and funny- and your love for bread is so good- like i’m telling you whenever i see bread posts that aren’t from you i IMMEDIATELY either tag you or send them to you fawienoawien ;; you’re such a warm positive influence on my dash and in my life and i really love you from the bottom of my heart. i’m so thankful we’re pals bc you are a true angel and a true pal and just !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAA I LOVE U SO MUCH JOYCE OIANWFOIAWN TT TT (doyoung loves you loads too okay; he is sending big fat kisses ur way!)
@ultscb​: hi taryn!!! miss gif queen;; faoiwenfaown holy moly; you are such a talented person- but not only are you amazing at giffing ?? you’re also just ??? an amazing warm funny kind beautiful person??? like afnoiwnefowaienof hello?? you’re somehow always making me smile; whenever we talk or through your tags?? you’re just !! so !! lovely and fantastic and i!!!! really do love you!!! you’ve been so kind and warm to me and made me smile so much even if we don’t talk that often;; you always give me such kind feedback when you look at my work and it really foanwifeanwoe blows my ego into another dimension fanoweinaowienfao i love you so much angel!!! i hope you know that you’re an amazing and talented and funny and wonderful person! changbin is sending kisses !! (and so am i!!)
@wayvgf​: hi mara baby!!!!! :0 you are such a bright personality, whenever you’re excited ofiawneofai you’ll make like fawoniewi a bunch of posts back to back with 0 context and idk why that makes me laugh and feel so warm and happy- but the thought that someone who is so warm and bright exists really makes me so happy!!! you are literally the funniest and cutest person i’ve ever !! met !! you are so kind and warm and funny and idk man :(( you’ve just been very kind to me and listened to me rant abt some very dumb stuff faoiwnefoaiwne TT TT thank you for always dealing with that side of me, and for being so kind to me;; i know i always say this but : your nose is… really… afwioenaofiawoifwa the pinnacle of noses ok. u r s o cute :( and whenever i’m like “I LOVE MARA DOT ORG” i mean it !!! i love you SO much!!!!!!!!!!! you are such a fantastic, funny, hard working person and i love you SO much bb !!!!! hyunjin also loves u but :/  i love u mos t.
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