#lots of fond feelings associated with them <33 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat · 10 months ago

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io 🥺🥺🥺🥺 …………

first of all im sorry its taken me a bit to get to this!!! usually when i get tags and comments that are so thoughtful i just let them marinate for a while so can gather my thoughts psjidkdj 😭😭 but i NEED u to know how much this means to me!!!

like. gosh. i cant tell u how emotional i got reading this?? u r so so kind and sweet and im just soooo happy u enjoyed it …. AND UR SONG IOOOO i already gushed abt it a lot but im still so floored like . i cant praise it enough. i cant praise YOU enough. i was kicking my feet holdinh my head in my hands i was so excited PDVDNBD

anyway!!! im just gonna pick out a couple of ur comments and respond to them but i need u to know that literally every single thing u said made me sniffle im just so touched :’3 instantly went to my motivational folder hehe im gonna read em over and over again when i need a pick me up!!

i think this is the most beautiful way i’ve seen his eyes described to date.

^ THIS IS SOSO KINDDDD i rlly wanted to depict his eyes in like . the most breathtaking glow-in-the-dark kinda way ever psjdkjd im so happy u thought it was beautiful <33

jesus christ. like atp i was nervous i’d just be quoting your entire fic back to you. i couldn’t believe i had just read this. like. i’m not trying to gas you but i think if you ever write an anthology of poems i’d be first in line to buy???

^ IOOOO 😭😭😭 u r way too sweet im sobbing. im soooooosososo flattered n touched by how much u liked the writing???? to me the biggest compliment ever is when ppl call it ”poetic” so im just . sitting here giggling and smiling LMAO im overjoyed !!

can you tell i’m obsessed with the imagery of the apricot blossoms. it HIT every single time.

^ AND THISSSSS IM SOO HAPPY U NOTICED IT i think ur the first person to point it out!!! i looovvee apricot blossoms idk why i just love them and i think i associate them a lot w satoru too!!

almost lost my cool here. almost got very very very fucking feral. his knight in all reality, her knight in his eyes fr.

^ THISSSS THIS THIS U GET IT prince!gojo is literally so devoted so obsessed so in love that he comes off as the knight and reader is just . 🧍 like KNOW UR PLACE SMH (i think their mutual devotion is just sooo sweet though i got so excited when u pointed it out)

i really puffed out my chest when i read this. immediately though to myself. “i’m NOT little no more” 😤

^ STOP UR SO CUTE no bc i think that would make him tease u more 😭😭 hes sooo infuriating. ”little knight” this ”little knight” that he thinks its a petname LMAO

READY TO FLING MYSELF INTO A VAT OF MY OWN ADORATION FOR HIM OH MY GOD I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR HIM. SLAY ALL HIS ENEMIES. RETRACT EXISTENCES JUST TO AVENGE HIM. COAT MY HANDS IN THE BLOOD OF THOSE WHO CROSS HIM AND PAINT MY SWORD IN MY DEFENSE OF HIS HONOR. Y’ALL ARE NOT SEEING ME IF I’M HIS KNIGHT. 🤺🤺🤺

^ SOOOOO REAL SO TRUE IM NODDING IN AGREEMENT…… i would literally lay my life down for him fr

WHO IS THE KNIGHT SIR IS IT YOU OR ME. WE SIT ON A HILL MADE OF OUR SIGHS N THE DEVOTION WE TRADE BETWEEN BREATHS FEELS LIKE A KISS! YOUR HONOR I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. I’D OBLITERATE EVERYTHING IN ALL BRUTALITY JUST TO STRETCH THE LENGTH OF HIS SOFTNESS FURTHER YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND!!!!!

^ ”we sit on a hill made of our sighs n the devotion we trade between breaths feels like a kiss” IO???? dont drop bangers like this in my rbs i fell to my KNEES…. no bc ur so right!! one is a knight and one is a prince but when theyre alone like that theyre just the same yknow?? both soo devoted and sappy and soft :<

I’M SUPER SHY SUPER SHY BUT WAIT A MINUTE WHILE K MAKE YOU MINEEEEE! 😭🤚🏾 my god i got butterflies. i felt soooo shy. i pulled my blanket up over half my face dear god i’m so in love with him. dizzy. drunk on fondness. drowning in it. 😭😭😭

^ I WAS SOO HAPPY TO READ THIS PSJFJS i was reeaaallyyy hoping that line would hit a lil bit….. i giggled a little writing it LMAO hes just the softest man in the world 🥺🥺 its so natural to him too!!

AAAA AND UR TAGS IO 💔💔💔 theyre ALL so sweet and funny i cant tell u how happy i am that u enjoyed it 🥺🥺 like REALLY this made my whole week. ur so so KIND i dont even know what to say …….. i know ive mentioned this before but i really do love ur writing sooo much and i think its so poetic and pretty!!! so it means sm coming from u <333

i wanna say more but this is already long wahh ;;; i just appreciate u so much!! tysm for reading and taking the time to write this all out <333

how deep is your devotion? ; satoru gojo

synopsis; you’re his knight, and he’s your prince. if only it were that simple.

word count; 6.6k

contents; satoru gojo/reader, gn!reader, royalty au (..but no effort put into making it historically accurate in any way oops), knight!reader x prince!toru!!, childhood friends, mutual pining, fluffy overall, some hurt/comfort too, vague allusions to abuse (reader is punished by one of the castle maids as a child but it’s only really hinted at), knight!reader is horrendously devoted but prince!gojo is arguably worse, he would burn the world down if u asked nicely <3

a/n; big big BIG thank u to @softgirlgonehaywire for having the biggest brain in the world and infecting me w this concept <33 if u pay attention while reading u can tell the exact moment i started slowly spiraling into insanity

you are five years old when you meet the prince.

five years old, a mere child, and too young to be blinded by such brilliance. too young to be where you are; curled up in a dark alley, back against a grimy brick wall, covered in bruises. like a beaten dog — scrawny and afraid. waiting for a strike that never comes.

the boy in front of you is also five years old, but you don’t know that. something in him looks older, somehow, something in the way he carries himself. like he doesn’t have anything to be afraid of. like he’s never even felt fear. he parts his lips and speaks like he has the right to, like he’s comfortable in his own skin, a radiance so blinding you could mistake him for the sun. too much for you to bear.

”does it hurt?”

the words fall on deaf ears. but you flinch, your body reacts, a tremble down your tiny spine. you hear the sound but not the words. too mesmerized, too paralyzed, unable to look away from the blue of his eyes, painted with rich watercolour hues. seeping into the world around you like ink on paper, cobalt and aquamarine and something else, something you’ve never seen before —

a blue so jarring it makes you shiver.

the boy has an innocent face. almost girlish, plump cheeks and long lashes, clean clothes and smooth skin. a little too pretty to be out here, you think, in this part of town — too pure to be anywhere near someone like you. he’s above you, that much you can tell. a pretty, innocent face, untouched by dirt or ache; the face of royalty. an entirely different species.

there’s something keen in his eyes, a contrast to his childlike features. a sharp gaze, something that sees through you, something that won’t look away. something mildly frightening. enough to have you cowering in fear, hugging your knees closer to your chest.

but then he smiles. and it’s sincere. sweet, vibrant, all honey and milk and a world you cannot reach.

a smile so captivating you take his outstretched hand, and let him drag you away to god-knows-where.

(that's how it begins. the dynamic that’ll follow you into your adult lives; satoru takes the lead, and you follow. no matter where he’s going.)

satoru gojo, as you soon come to learn, is the prince of the nation you reside in. the only child of the royal family, born with talent and prestige, fame and fortune, set to become king. a different species, indeed.

but he brings you home with him, to a castle so grand you feel as if your very presence is an insult to the architects who designed it, and convinces his parents to let you stay. it’s surprising, but you don’t protest; following him like a puppy at his trail. and he’s stubborn, insistent, demanding that he get to keep said puppy.

the king and queen don’t care one way or another. they glance at you with apathy, and tell satoru to do what he wants — but convincing the scary and displeased castle maids takes some work.

satoru doesn’t waver, though. he holds your hand in his, and demands that you be treated with respect.

and he wins. he always wins.

that’s how you become the prince’s playmate. raised alongside him, allowed to stay close, eat from the same food. he won’t settle for anything less. defending your honour, always, before you even know what honour means. before you care.

time passes slowly. joyously. every day is a new adventure, as you attempt to get used to the miracle that is your new life — sweet and silky, apricot blossoms and fresh peaches, duvet pillows and a bubbly laughter you didn’t know you still had. he coaxes it out of you, with every secret midnight outing, every bout of mischief he drags you both into.

satoru has nice hands, uncalloused palms, fingers that grasp yours and don’t let go. he takes you outside, to see the stars, to catch fireflies in the dark of night on top of the hill that oversees the castle. to take a dip in the river just below it, gleaming a silver hue under the blue shade of the moon. you worry about getting in trouble, but he reassures you — the prince can do what he wants.

that might be true, but you are no prince. not even close. satoru may safeguard you, but all you’ll ever be in the eyes of the world is a stray he got to keep.

and one time, only one time, you do face the repercussions of your midnight outings. you, and you alone. a bad influence — seething words, buzzing in your ears. an angry castle maid, and a stinging pain in your cheek. blurry tears.

but that’s an incident no one in the castle dares to speak of.

(you’ll never forget that look in his eyes.)

satoru is an odd boy. he keeps you close, always, clinging to you like he needs you to breathe. you don’t understand why, but you’ve learned not to question him. the castle guards all know you as the prince’s best friend, and some part of you knows that’s all you’ll ever amount to. but you don’t mind.

because you love him. at five years old, six years old, seven and beyond, you love him. satoru gojo, the kindest boy in the stratosphere.

a boy who keeps finding you, no matter where you are, who tugs you along as naturally as the rise of the sun. who raids kitchen cabinets with you and always makes you laugh, little giggles and chuckles that have him beaming proudly. a boy who cleans your wounds with a serious expression, and tells you that he’ll protect you forever.

(you tell yourself the same. that you’ll protect him forever and ever, until you run out of air to breathe. a boy so sweet you’d die for him.)

a pledge is made. you make it before you know what a pledge is. pledging to protect him, to become his sword, because even as a child you understand that his life will be difficult. you see it in the dullness that sometimes comes over his eyes, the apathy of his so-called parents, the hours he spends locked up with nothing but a pile of dusty books to keep him company.

so you decide to become his knight. his, and his alone.

it’s challenging. but you push through; training with another aspiring knight, miles better than you, black hair tousled by the breeze as he knocks you off your feet for the thirtieth consecutive time. wincing as the girl who sometimes watches your sparring patches you up, soft hands cleaning your wounds so tenderly that you almost choke up.

and eventually, as the apricot blossoms of the castle orchard wilt and bloom over and over in a flurry of pure white, your dream comes true.

there’s something playful in satoru’s eyes, when he places his blade on the curve of your shoulder. something sweet and fond, and just a little bit ironic — as if you’re still seven years old, and playing house.

you want to tell him that it isn’t a joke. that you’re serious, about this, that you’d tear your stomach open to keep him safe. but you know he’d just laugh. so you let the words clog up your throat, honey-sweet devotion sticking to the walls of your esophagus. breathing in through your nose, as he speaks. as the words you’ve waited to hear flow from his glossy lips.

when all is said and done, satoru smiles. he calls you his little knight, and you can tell that he’s teasing you. indulging you, as if he’s in on some joke that you aren’t. but you’ll take what you can get.

you call him my prince, expecting him to laugh it off, but his smile begins to fall. and a pang of ache rushes through your soul, instantaneous, guilty, although you don’t understand why.

so you keep calling him satoru. even though it’s more than a little unprofessional, and you become painfully accustomed to receiving a few judgemental looks here and there. a knight and a prince shouldn’t be so very close, they think, and you don’t disagree. but there’s nothing they can do about it, anyhow.

the prince and his knight can do what they want.

not much changes. you’re his knight, but he treats you the same as before. he’s playful, a little goofy, and you indulge him. as always. attached at the hip, bickering and bantering, bouncing off each other effortlessly. and satoru never bothers to hide your history, the soft spot he has for you; it’s in every fleeting glance, soft tilt of his head, teasing call of ah, there’s my favorite knight.

(you’re no stranger to jealous looks. sometimes a pout on the lips of a pretty girl, a crease between the brows of one of your fellow knights. and sometimes a glare, from his fiancée — a woman he was engaged to before he was old enough to speak.

but you don’t mind. you’ve never cared what anyone but satoru thinks of you.)

satoru never loses his smile, that effortless air of confidence. the charm that makes people want to follow him, a charisma you know well. one you fell victim to at five years of age. he’s still just a prince, far from being a king, but he receives the same respect.

and that keen, sharp glimmer in his eyes never quite goes away; the hardened shell around his heart unbroken. you see it in fleeting glances, during meetings, ones he allows you to attend despite your status. when he speaks to a room of people with more power than you can imagine, his voice unwavering. back straight. elegant, serious, the presence of royalty — enough to receive respect without even trying.

but he still shoots you a smile, easygoing, when your eyes meet. one only you can see.

as for you, the step into knighthood is a clumsy one. but you take your duties seriously, and adjust properly. a deep devotion runs through your veins, from your beating heart down to the tips of your fingers, where a sword lies clutched. you keep it close, always, ready to serve. to obey. to protect.

all of it for one person.

all you do is for him. duels in his honour, beasts slain for his peace of mind, and he’s always there to welcome you back. wiping the blood from your cheek, tenderly, smearing his untainted skin with red; all while he looks at you softly, a coo or word of praise waltzing on the tip of his tongue.

that’s only for when you remain unscathed, though, when the blood on your cheek isn’t your own. when you get hurt, it’s different — something begins to brew inside his eyes, and you can’t tell what it is. but he insists on bandaging you himself, paying no mind to your meek protests.

sometimes, you’re more reckless than usual. your injuries worse. sometimes he looks upset, angry with you, and doesn’t speak. you don’t, either.

a strange look comes over his eyes, every now and then. when you get down on one knee, to kiss his hand, the metal of the ring on his finger — and if you look up, you’ll see it. simmering inside those blue depths, something just as fond as it is sad. troubled, you think.

(something tells you he’d kneel, too, if only you’d let him.)

the bond between you remains intact. even as you begin to shoulder more responsibilities, more duties, even though you don’t have as much freedom as you used to. even though you seem to get less time to spend with each other every single day. but you stay together, even so; just like when you were children, running around and causing trouble, more than you could get away with now.

despite everything, satoru has grown up into a fine man. and you couldn't be prouder.

“do you think i look good in black? be honest.”

you throw him a glance. curious, somewhat perplexed, eyeing him up and down.

satoru is wearing a white blouse, puffy sleeves and a low neckline, showing off the skin of his bare chest. no black colours to be seen. you think back to that banquet he attended last month, forced into an expensively tailored black coat. a corset around his waist. and then you hum.

“sure you do.”

”suguru said it makes me look like a try-hard,” he scoffs, crossing his arms. tilting his head in your direction. ”do you think he’s jealous?”

”definitely.”

a moment passes.

satoru narrow his eyes, and gives you a dubious look. clicking his tongue. ”… something tells me you aren’t taking this seriously.”

”i am,” you assure him, a lazy smile at your lips. meeting his gaze, that displeased little pout. still smoothing a brush down the mane of your horse, the smell of hay soothing your muddled senses. ”just tired. you look good in anything. you know that.”

he hums. silent, the sound of a spring breeze filling in the gaps.

it’s late. outside the stables, the world is engulfed by a dark sky, almost too murky to see anything. hazy stars glimmer in the distance, and a sense of fatigue gnaws at your bones. it’s been a long day, and yet you’re here — doing even more work. just a little more.

and satoru’s right there with you. even though he’s just sitting there, on the floor, not lifting a finger to help. not that he has to. insistent on spending some quality time with you, keeping you company. just talking and munching on the food he snuck in, bread and cheese and an expensive bottle of wine, that he leaves completely untouched. he tries to leave some of everything else for you, though. keyword being tries.

a sense of peace simmers in the air. palpable, almost enough to taste, as midnight air streams in from the opened doors, chilly and pleasant on your skin. ruffling the thin fabric of your clothing.

and it’s nice, you think, just to have satoru there — talking about this and that, complaining about all the annoying people he had to meet yesterday, yawning every now and then. nostalgic. like this, it almost feels like you're still kids. back when you spent every single hour of the day by each other’s side.

it’s been a long time since you got the chance to speak like this. satoru’s been busy, and so have you. more so than usual.

”are they running you ragged?” he suddenly asks, and you don’t realize you’ve spent the last minute staring into space. resuming your brushing, with steady hands, but turning your head to meet his gaze.

”need me to…” he makes a slicing motion with his hand, right over his throat. a glint of mischief in his eyes. ”handle it?”

and you scoff. amused, but answering him seriously; unsure if his question is all-together humorous, if it doesn’t carry a hint of something genuine too. ”of course not.”

there’s a weariness in the way you blink. the way you pet the animal in front of you, having finished getting the dirt and blood clots out of her mane. she lays down in her stall, and you smile. turning around to rest your back against the wooden border between you, a respite for your aching bones.

it gets just a little bit tiring, sometimes. fighting, patrolling, helping townsfolk. protecting the castle, making sure everything is in order. killing whatever needs to be killed. cleaning the stained silver of your sword.

but…

”it’s my duty,” you answer, seriously, and it comes out sounding like a vow. because it is.

you avoid his gaze, but you can feel it, as you pick up the wine bottle by your feet and pop the cork. soft moonlight flits in from the windows, illuminating the green glass. a chartreuse glow that reminds you of fireflies, shimmering in your grasp, and for some reason it soothes your heart.

satoru only hums, far from approving. popping a piece of cheese into his mouth.

after a brief pause, he continues. ”you don’t have to be so serious all the time, you know.” his voice comes out a little raspy. it’s got a certain tilt to it, one that means he wants you to take him seriously. ”not around me.”

you take a sip of the wine. expensive, blood red. it’s too sweet for your taste, heavy on your tongue.

”… i’m less serious with you than i am with others.”

satoru sits up a little straighter.

”yeah?” he grins, a kind of satisfaction blooming in his eyes. cerulean and sweet. almost smug, you think, like the cat that got the cream. ”that’s good. you really should loosen up, though.”

a glance. fleeting, just to see him — but he isn’t looking at you. he’s looking outside, through the opened window, at the sway of the apricot trees. white petals flitting in, landing by his feet. in his hair.

when his eyes meet yours, they’re smoothed over by that something you can never put your finger on. a blend between longing and fondness. crinkled at the edges.

”you’ve got a pretty smile,” he exhales. ”be a shame not to show it off.”

when you look at him, really look at him, you see it. that fatigue. it slips out when he talks to you, a sincere way of speaking that never quite allows him to hide his emotions. you hear the hint of a yawn, can practically feel the weight on his shoulders. the weight of an entire nation. a weight he was always bound to carry.

(you could never bring yourself to be even remotely alright with it.)

“have you been doing okay?” you ask, and satoru blinks. there’s a soft look in your eyes, as they trail over the contours of his face, his lashes catching the light of the stars. an innocent, pretty face. but he looks tired. frail. like he hasn’t been sleeping properly.

something rotten bubbles up inside your throat.

”they’re running you ragged, too,” you say, hand settling on your hip. where your sword usually is. unconsciously, on instinct — or maybe just to make him laugh. ”need me to step in?”

satoru chuckles. husky, mellow. dripping with soft amusement.

”settle down, little knight.”

a moment passes. silent. his eyes flutter shut, for a second, and a breath slips from his lips. almost a sigh. in the distance, you hear the quiet coo of an owl.

”of course,” he eventually answers, opening his eyes. and you think he looks a little resigned. but smiling. self-deprecating, you think, although he’d like you to assume otherwise. ”all of it is just preparation, anyhow.”

a flimsy smile, as he looks into your knowing eyes. ”it’s what i was born for, wasn’t it?”

you purse your lips.

“… i don’t think so.”

another chuckle. a little delighted, this time.

“yeah,” he cranes his neck, emitting a low groan. “me neither.” something sweet blossoms in his eyes, sweet like the crunch of the apple he bites into, juice dribbling down his chin. ”but it is what it is.”

a beat. you part your lips, trying to find the right words. ”tell me if there's anything i can do,” you settle on. the same words you always choose. ”anything at all.”

satoru smiles. “right.” his voice carries a teasing tilt; almost a purr. ”there’s nothing you wouldn't do for me, hm?”

“— there isn’t.” you smile. “nothing at all.”

he blinks. a little dazed, for a second, and you watch as his ears redden. slight, enough for you to notice, but gone before you can bring it up. a contemplation smooths over his features. and a pleasant breeze flits in, ruffling his hair, apricot petals kissing up his skin. he looks at the apple in his hands.

then he sighs. placing his palms on his knees, and rising to his feet. his arms twitch, muscular beneath the flimsy blouse, and you gulp. although you aren’t sure why.

“alright, then.” his eyes flicker in the dim light, sharp and decisive. he crosses over to you with long strides. “there is something you can do.”

when he’s close enough, satoru reaches out his hand; opening his palm. a silent beckoning. you look at him, not saying a word. his expression is unreadable.

then you intertwine your fingers with his. unquestioningly, even in the midst of your confusion.

(it reminds you of that day. when he pulled you up to your feet, held your hand in his and refused to let go. leading you to the promise of something better.)

no matter where he goes, you follow.

and satoru grins. it’s sweet, just like back then, a smile so vibrant you wish you could tuck it into your sleeve and keep it there forever. he curls his fingers around yours, gentle, fondness bubbling up inside his eyes. for a second, you think you see the sun.

“come with me.”

at first, you truly aren’t sure where he’s going to take you. hand in hand, you begin to walk, feeling the midnight breeze nip at your skin. beyond the castle walls, away from the hustle and bustle of the nearby town. satoru holds your hand and smiles, tousled tufts of white hair swaying with the wind, leading you to a place you know well. a place where the air tastes like freedom.

it’s the river you used to play by as children.

gleaming a solemn silver under the evanescent moon, framed by bushes of lilacs, blooming indigo and violet and pure white. butterflies flutter about, almost glittering, blue wings settling down on the leaves. the scent of nectar hangs heavy in the air. on top of the hill just above you, you think you can spot tiny little glowing dots; green and yellow, buzzing around. dancing merrily, now that there aren’t any troublemaker children left to trap them.

satoru lets go of your hand, to roll up his sleeves. the hems of his pants. then he’s taking a step forward, dangerously close to the edge of the river, and you can tell what he’s thinking.

“ah — wait —“ you stumble forward, to grab hold of his arm. a worried crease forms between your brows. “that's dangerous, satoru. you could slip and fall.”

he turns to face you, a teasing mirth in his eyes. smirking lightly. “oh? is that so?” he hums, a slight tilt of his head. then he’s stepping closer, so close you feel his warm breath on your skin, but you will yourself not to step back. “wanna know what i think?”

he leans forward, just a little further, warm air brushing against the shell of your ear. flushing beneath it. his voice comes out low, a sleepy lilt, dangerously raspy. hand ghosting over your waist.

”i think you’re too scared to get in.”

you blink.

”… really?” you deadpan, stepping back a tad. satoru looks pleased with himself. awfully amused.

“really,” he purrs. “you were always like that. could barely dip your toes in without shivering.” he reaches out to pinch your cheek, a coo on the tip of his tongue. ”scaredy-cat.”

you raise your brow. unimpressed.

satoru steps back. inching closer to the river, until a quiet splash tells you that he’s standing in the water. lapping up his bare legs, not enough to even reach his knees — it felt a lot scarier when you were smaller. he’s still holding your hand, very loosely, fingertips ghosting your own.

“c’mon,” he coaxes. soft, encouraging, a playful glimmer in his eyes. teeth catching the light of the moon. “or is it too much for my brave knight to handle?”

satoru laughs, when you furrow your brows, attempting to hide the flush of your cheeks. a warmth spreads through your chest at the term of endearment, and you bite your lip. melting a little.

his knight. his favourite knight.

“.. fine,” you tangle your fingers in his own. sighing deeply, taking a tentative step forward. “just be careful, okay? i don't want to deal with your whining if you hit your head.”

“ah, but you’d kiss it better, no? if i asked?” he flashes you a honeyed grin, eyes rich with amusement. you hope the darkness of the night is enough to hide the red of your ears.

a grumble buzzes in your throat, locked behind your pursed lips. something in your jaw goes tight.

the man in front of you softens. parting his glossy lips. he says your name; slowly, thoughtfully, as if savouring every syllable. dragging them out, speaking with a lilt that tells you he’s being sincere.

“— loosen up. it’s just you and me.”

so you do.

and it’s odd. how easy it is to get lost in him, the watercolour of his eyes, the brightness of his grin. how pliantly you let him whisk you away. before you know it, you’re playing in the water — because satoru splashed you, laughing at the shock on your face and the shiver of your spine, and you had no choice but to retaliate.

the sound of his laughter fills the air, sweet and bubbly. deep and giddy. strands of hair stick to his wet skin, droplets running down his neck, but his grin never falters. bright and toothy, boyish. he looks younger than you ever remember him being. like there’s no weight on his shoulders, none at all, only soaked fabric weighing him down. a flimsy, see-through blouse.

you think it’s ridiculous. two grown adults, splashing each other like children. but his melodic giggles are contagious, and before you know it, you’re laughing too — and satoru looks at you like you hung all the stars in the sky. through dewy eyelashes, with cerulean eyes that melt into the pale blue of the moon and the silver of the river. filled with wonder.

a particularly ruthless splash knocks him off balance, and he has the instinct to reach for your arm; stumbling, slipping, dragging you down with him. you land on his chest, cheek against his neck, his pulse against your skin. erratic, joyous. fluttering happily.

his chest is heaving. lifting you up and down, a little, rhythmic and comforting.

a sudden yelp slips past your lips, as you get snapped back into reality, into the realization that you basically just pushed your own prince into a river and used his unfairly soft chest as a cushion. a mumbled string of apologies escapes you, as you attempt to get up, scrambling to find footing.

but satoru wraps his arms around you. tucking you under his chin, keeping you flush against his chest. nice and still.

and then he sighs. a blissful little breath, fatigue seeping out of him. into the air.

“stay like this, for a bit,” he rasps. ”it’s okay.”

his heartbeat resounds in your ear. warm and rapid, like claps of thunder, coaxing you into closing your eyes. satoru has always felt so very safe. the water of the river is cold, seeping through the fabric of your clothing and sticking to your skin, but…

(he’s warm.)

silence. and then, a whisper; frail, slipping past his lips, gently slicing the silence in half. softer than you've ever heard him speak.

“i missed this.”

…

nuzzling into his neck, you breathe him in. he smells like sandalwood and dried roses, buzzing with warmth, heavy arms around your waist. solid. when did he get so big? you used to be taller.

then again — that was a long time ago, wasn’t it?

“… me too.”

“missed you,” he continues, his jaw on top of your head. it’s a sincere confession; childlike in its innocence. “missed hearing you laugh like that. feels like it’s been so long.”

you stay silent. unsure of what to say. satoru continues, and you let his husky voice carry you away, the tremor of his chest running through your entire body. soothing like a lullaby.

”we haven't had much time together, lately. i’ve been worried,” he admits, and something about it strikes you as rather sheepish. a little ashamed. ”it bothers me that i can't be there to watch over you. make sure you're treated with respect, you know.”

a sleepy chuckle. muffled into his shoulder, almost a scoff — slightly exasperated. little droplets cling to his skin, sticking to your lips.

”relax, your majesty,” you tease. ”i promise the other knights aren’t bullying me.”

satoru pouts. you can hear it, when he speaks. ”i’m serious,” he huffs, squeezing you lightly. ”and it’s not them i’m worried about. suguru’s there.”

another scoff threatens to escape your throat. you want to tell him the only knight that should be suspected of bullying you is suguru himself, but before you can even think to part your lips satoru’s beaten you to it.

”they all treat you so carelessly.” there’s something cold to his voice, an irritation tugging at his teeth. oddly seething. ”like you exist to serve them. like you’re disposable.”

a moment passes, heavy with a silence so thick you don’t dare break it. when he speaks again, it’s an order. a demand.

”i want you to tell me if they go too far.”

silence. again. you can do nothing but gnaw at the flesh of your bottom lip.

(he isn’t wrong. but that’s simply what it means to be a knight — half-human, half-weapon. an unattainable ideal, stuffed inside a suit of armor.

when a weapon breaks under the force of a slash, the only choice is to throw it away. that much you know.)

”it’s fine. i’m not that fragile,” you weakly protest, but it’s not enough. satoru huffs.

”you’re a human being,” he reminds you. strangely stern, for once. chastising. ”you deserve to be treated with respect. knight or not. fragile or not.”

a deep inhale. he breathes in, and the rise of his chest carries you with it. his voice buzzes with something, a slumbering kind of fury. one you haven’t heard in years.

“if anyone gives you trouble — if anyone hurts you… if anyone makes you feel unsafe,” he almost spits the words, like they’re venomous, sacrilegious. ”tell me. i’ll destroy them.”

silence. and then, a chuckle.

that’s all you can manage; that one meek little breath. resisting the urge to cower, at the love that clings to every word he speaks. angered affection. a promise, dangerously genuine, like a growing wildfire.

”i can take care of myself, satoru,” you remind him. hoping it’ll soothe him. ”you know that.”

but his grip around you only tightens. gentle, even still. as if you’re made of glass, a firefly cupped in his palms. he lets the silence linger, for a moment.

and then;

“i’d do it, you know.”

a questioning hum. “do what?” you ask, though some part of you already knows.

satoru’s reply is instantaneous. an arrow hitting its target, cold and concise, decisive. frighteningly honest. almost a growl, flattened, a hint of teeth behind his soft lips. ”destroy them. anyone.”

”i’d tear this nation apart if you asked me to.”

…

(ah. that look in his eyes — one you remember well. strung together with blurred memories, the sting of a palm on your cheek, a castle maid you never saw again.)

you search for the words. biting back a gulp, hesitant. “… i wouldn’t.”

“i know.” satoru yawns, breathing you in, voice shifting back into the softness you’re so used to. your shoulders relax. “but i would. if that’s what you wanted.”

and it’s a little scary, the depths of his devotion. but you’re almost certain you’d do the same for him. maybe you're both a little sick in the head, a little too eager to serve your hearts on a silver platter.

“it bothers me, you know.” satoru breaks you out of your thoughts. gentle, a soft lull of his tongue. ”when you get hurt. when you fight for me.”

“i know,” you murmur. you’ve seen it in his eyes, a worry he’s not as good at hiding as he thinks. ”i want to, though.”

“and i want you to be safe.” a chuckle bubbles up in his throat, just a little bit rueful. “you never listen, do you? so stubborn, i swear. always worrying me.”

you bite down on your lip. he sounds… a little sad.

“… sorry.”

a moment’s pause. then he shakes his head; cradling you close. “it’s fine. i’m here. always,” his palm runs down the small of your back. ”in case anything happens.”

he inhales. ”and when i become king —” a beat. he swallows thickly. ”you’ll never have to worry again. no one will be able to touch you.”

”satoru,” you crack a small smile. amused. raising a single eyebrow. ”i’m not worried. i can protect myself.”

”i know. but i’m saying you don’t have to.”

and then he’s pulling back. just a little bit, just enough to see you. cheek smushed against his chest, comfortable and soft, more unguarded than he’s seen you these past few months. it’s enough to get his heart racing.

enough to have him reaching out, fingertips ghosting over your hand, tangling your fingers together. bringing it to his glossy lips. a chaste kiss, brimming with unspoken murmurs of love.

”— i’ll protect you forever,” he vows. ”remember?”

there’s devotion in his eyes. heavy, a vow he’ll never quite be able to voice in full. something that makes the blue of his eyes glow even brighter, cerulean, aquamarine, a blue so jarring it makes your heart beat faster than it should.

you blink. starstruck, caught in a daze, lost within that sea of blue. distracted by his warm breath on your cold skin, the soft whisper voiced against your knuckle. something shy blossoms in your chest, enough to have you averting your gaze.

“... you really don’t care about the dynamic here, do you?” is all you can reply. a meek scoff, a weak attempt at hiding how flustered you are. “i’m the knight. i’m your protector.”

“oh, i know.” a smile sticks to his lips, playful, the back of his hand caressing your cheek. a coo on his tongue. “my little hero. what would i ever do without you?”

a roll of your eyes. satoru chuckles. in the distance, you hear crickets chirping, a breeze rustling the lilac bushes all around you. he’s still cradling your cheek, smoothing over your wet skin, brushing a drop of water away with his thumb. clinging to your bottom eyelash.

“i don't get it, though.”

you blink. when you meet his eyes, satoru looks a little perplexed. muttering under his breath, absently rubbing circles over your cheekbone. you resist the urge to close your eyes again, biting back a blissful sigh.

”a prince shouldn’t care for his knight…” he repeats, like he’s heard the string of words a million times before. ”the idea of that. i don’t understand it. never have.”

the smile that blossoms on his lips is soft, indescribably so, as if he’s looking at the most precious thing in his life. rich and warm, like wine in your veins, nectar on your tongue, a chest pressed against your own. dripping with fondness.

satoru tilts his head, as if in confusion — but he’s smiling. “what’s so strange about wanting to protect the one dearest to my heart?”

…

his hand slips from your skin, a warmth leaving your cheek. only to search for your hand, again, cradling it in his larger palm. placing it right over his chest, against the soaked material of his blouse. ”feel that?”

you do. a rhythmic rise and fall, a soft flutter from the depths of his ribcage. as if it’s itching to break out, out of the cage that binds it, the hardened shell around it. a heart too big for his body.

”it’s you,” satoru whispers. ”all for you.”

a moment passes.

silently, you lean forward; tucking yourself into his neck. into that comforting warmth, wet skin beginning to dry, the steady thrum of his heart right by your ear. you listen. not saying a word, afraid of what might leave the confines of your strangled throat. it feels as if your heart has begun to crawl upwards, sweet honey blocking your airways, and all you can do it feel it pulse.

all while satoru gazes at you, fondly. placing a big palm on the back of your head.

fireflies dance in the distance. butterflies flutter about. strings of lilacs bloom under the glow of the moon. and satoru’s heartbeat never changes, never falls out of tune, a sound you would recognize even if the sky were to shatter, if the world were to end. the sound that saved you, the boy who dragged you out of hell. into his light.

satoru gojo is everything. he’s the beat of your heart, the silver of your sword, the reason you believe in goodness. he’s your prince, your favorite person, and you’ll protect him until your very last breath. until the world runs out of oxygen.

a boy so sweet you’d die for him.

(a boy so sweet he wouldn’t want you to.)

a shiver runs down his spine — sudden, a shudder of his bones, and a quiet little sniffle. you feel it, hear it, and don’t attempt to bite back the fond smile that slips into the curve of your lips.

”c’mon,” you beckon, almost a coo, placing your palms on his chest to hoist yourself up. ”let’s go home.”

but satoru shakes his head. and then he traps you again, strong arms around your waist, pressing you against him. you could escape — you’re almost certain you’re stronger — but you don’t quite have the heart to. ”it’s fine,” he huffs. almost a whine. ”stay.”

”you’ll get sick.”

”i never get sick.”

a deep exhale. tumbling from your lips, just a little bit humorous. mostly exasperated. ”that can change,” you mumble, fingertips dancing along his exposed skin. absentmindedly.

a smile. one you can’t see, but you hear it clear as day. he sounds content, like he’s got everything he needs right in front of him. ”some things never change,” he informs you. pleased. ”just look at us.”

and he’s right. so you don’t say anything else.

but your heartbeat quickens, only for a beat or two, and you’re almost certain he feels it. if he does, he opts not to tease you for once, and you’re grateful. and so the silence lingers. as if time has begun to freeze, into an eternal dusk, a string of silent seconds. broken only by low melodic chirping from the faraway fields, his soft breaths in your ear.

until satoru suddenly chuckles.

“hey,” he hums, shifting a little, the river swaying around you. pulling back to meet your gaze, eyes crinkled and voice raspy. “wanna know a secret?”

you raise your head. a dubious look on your face, one that has him breathing out an amused puff of air, like you’re getting ready to hear a bad joke. “... what is it?”

before the words have fully left your throat, he’s resting his forehead against yours — breath fanning over your lips. a pleasant shiver trails down your spine, at the close proximity, goosebumps spreading across your chilled skin. only exacerbated by the whisper that follows, so quiet you almost don’t know if you heard him correctly. childlike in its sincerity. a sunlaced smile woven in between the vowels.

“i think i was born to meet you.”

(a sentiment so sweet you barely even feel the warmth of his lips meeting yours.)

#im kissing u softly on the forehead !!#u r sooo sweet reading this rlly had me smiling to myself and giggling psvdhsjdh 😭😭😭#TYSM <33333 #self rb!!

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persephonesfill · 2 years ago

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hey girl heyyyy 1, 11, 22, 33, 44, 55, 66 (this charming man), 76, 77, 78, 79 for the ask games <3

omg thank you!! you are literally the best 💖💖 1. Do you daydream a lot before you write, or go for it as soon as the ideas strike?

Usually, my ideas seem to strike whenever I'm preoccupied with something else, so I have no choice but to sit and think about them until I can get to my phone or a computer.

11. Do you write scenes in order, or do you jump around?

I try to write scenes in order (which is why it takes me forever to write a fic) but recently I've been trying to write whatever I'm in the mood for instead of forcing myself to slug through a scene. I feel like it's working a bit better for me in terms of productivity but I kind of miss finishing a scene and know I have a certain amount of scenes left until I'm finished. When I jump around, it's harder for me to visualize how much of the fic is left for me to write.

22. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

Usually during or after. Most of my fic titles come from music that I was listening to while writing said fic. There has been plenty a moment where I'll be listening to my playlist and have a eureka moment where I realize that either the song's title or a lyric from the song would be perfect as the title of my fic.

33. Is there a specific word count that you hold yourself to/enjoy writing the most?

Yes, but I'm trying to wean myself off of it. I dislike when my writing is under 1k. Fortunately, I suffer from can't shut the fuck up disease so I'm usually pretty good about meeting my word count goals.

44. What is your favorite genre to write?

I haven't written much fanfic in the genre, but I absolutely love writing fantasy. Like yes let me create a whole new world, let me believe in things like love and magic and ancient gods.

55. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

Yes. I'm nothing if not repetitive. I've found that I'm fond of color and light symbolism, especially when describing characters. I've also written a handful of soft, tender scenes between Steve and Tony that take place in a kitchen (extremely specific I know). I also feel like a certain neediness permeates my fics. Like every fic I write is just jampacked with longing either on Steve or Tony or both of their parts.

66. What’s a fun fact about [insert fic]?

Every chapter of this charming man has song associated with it. I tried to make them all older songs (aside from Search and Destroy, although that one is a cover of The Stooges song so maybe it does count) to help fit the retro vibe.

76. How do you deal with writing pressure, whether internal or external?

I have to remind myself that this is literally just for fun and that the stakes are extremely low.

77. Why do you enjoy writing fanfiction?

I love thinking about what ifs. Taking these little guys and putting them in situations that you would never see them get into in canon. Or even taking a situation in canon and wondering what other directions it could have gone in. I've always been a possibility-oriented person and fanfic allows me to ponder to my heart's content.

78. What motivates you during the writing process?

The fact that I'll have a complete story in the end. Something to look at and be proud of, like I did that. I wrote that short story/novella/novel etc.

79. Do you have any writing advice you want to share?

Don't let other people's opinions influence your writing too much. Keeping your audience in mind is all well and good but not when you're sacrificing your creativity and any excitement you have for the fic. You won't please everyone but that's okay.

Thank you again for the questions 💖

Send me fanfic writing asks!

#gabi talks #mutuals #docdracula #long post

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consulaaris · 3 years ago

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🤝🎵👗 for seb or rowan (or both!!) 💗

ty azia!!! :’) <33 decided to answer for them both bc i miss them

[ 🤝 ] how does your muse approach intimacy? are they hesitant, or do they like it? what types of intimacy do they like and dislike? (ex. physical intimacy, sexual intimacy, emotional intimacy, etc.)

seb: seb is very touchy-feely with his friends- he’s very prone to being physically close with people, and in the same vein he’s prone to casual hookups and seeks them out often; that’s something he’s always been open with and it’s easy for him to fall into patterns there. seb jumps all in for fast flings, but despite developing feelings for people quickly he also totally panics when it comes to emotional vulnerability, platonic or otherwise. he’s got a lot of issues re: opening himself up to people and not feeling wanted, and this fear definitely shows in his relationships- he’s incredibly resistant to any form of emotional intimacy despite badly wanting it.

rowan: though rowan’s largely grown out of his childhood shyness, he’s still pretty quiet, and he’s hesitant with any sort of intimacy initially when he’s getting to know people. he isn’t overly fond of physical contact in general, although i’d say he definitely doesn’t mind it with cove! overall he’s probably most comfortable with emotional intimacy, even if he doesn’t always put it into so many words— rowan tends to feel things very deeply and likes to form those connections with people and know them on a deeper level! he’s a little guarded, but not so much as afraid of getting hurt as he is cautious; by nature rowan has always kept his circle rather small.

[ 🎵 ] is there a specific song or songs you associate with your muse? why is that?

seb: chosen by måneskin + heart of a dancer by the happy fits are the first songs that come to mind! the ~vibes~ of both songs just feel very him, as well as fitting with important/influential music is to him. could totally see him singing or dancing along to either of these.

rowan: curious hands by kuinka maybe? it’s got a soft sort of tone that fits him i think, and sort of works with the concept of finding himself :’)

[ 👗 ] what is your muse’s fashion sense like? are they able to dress the way they want to? what would they wear in an ideal world?

seb: seb is a drama king and his fashion 100% reflects this. he tends to go for edgier vibes, like a lot of leather when he’s going for something more dramatic or just some ripped jeans/accessories when he’s more casual (in general damiano david is huge fashion inspo for him). he’s very fond of more dramatic makeup looks too, particularly with smudged eyeliner or glitter, and he usually wears a lot of jewelry and rings. seb’s also got a lot of tattoos & piercings as well, for another form of self expression! he doesn’t give two shits what other people think of his style, but he thinks he looks great.

rowan: rowan’s fashion sense is generally more subdued/beachy (think a more masc boho style, although he doesn’t like hats) but he does love a good leather jacket! he tends to be very casual— maybe wearing one piece of jewelry he made or cove gave him, and while he does wear eyeliner now and then makeup isn’t a huge part of his everyday look. as a teen he was more nervous about expressing himself, but he’s much more settled as an adult and dresses the way he wants.

#ask #oc: sebastian ariti #oc: rowan hill #i think these two would immensely dislike each other but i adore them both shdjjdj

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hotboxd · 3 years ago

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[ 🔪 ] short note

hi doll! i was listening to music earlier and when i got to this song you were the first person to come to mind, i think the specific lyric was

“handsome stranger, you have made her insides turn to jelly. she wants to dance around the room, kiss you until her lips turn blue, but handsome stranger, you have made her wonder, is she pretty?” - absolutely smitten, dodie

i really love the lyric but i think that song in particular reminded me of you. everything by dodie reminds me of you.

there was another song that reminded me of you, it’s from be more chill. it’s a guy that is kinda be into. don’t know what it was about this song, none of the lyrics make sense for you but it was you i was thinking of the whole time.

i think i’ve gotten very settled with the idea that songs relate to specific people, there has to be a science about this right? FAR AWAY by easha always reminds me of bay, it has yet to fail. Dear Maria Count Me In by all time low never fails to bring my sister into mind. Heart Attack by LOONA (which my sister has grown pretty fond of) is always val and for some reason Hopelessly Devoted to You always reminds me of zel, especially if it’s the glee version. Mari is Fine on the outside, i don’t know why and i can’t explain it. i think it’s the rhythm and beat it plays at, and also how often they talk about it. although FAR AWAY definitely incorporates some lyrics. i find yours to be the biggest phenomenon, because it’s never the same rhythm or beat, and for some reason you remind me of dodie songs. it may be mentality, who knows.

and i know this is a short note i’m writing but i have a lot more to say so might as well say it right?

i always await you to answer to messages or asks, i haven’t figured out why. i’m always shaking with anticipation to see what you’ve said. i value your opinion, i think that’s why i always want to know

something i do that bothers myself is zone out. as an experiment i’ll be sending you asks everyday for the rest of the week to see if it helps, i don’t think it will in all honestly, but it’ll keep my mind off it won’t it?

i find that ive been thinking about you a lot more now that i’m always in the car, i think it’s all the spare time. but i have come up with a few things i’d like is to do together.

i hope you like strawberries because i don’t. i really love to go strawberry picking though. you get all dirty and find the largest ones, it’s so fun. but because i don’t like strawberries i always end up letting my sister eat them or making vanilla cake to layer strawberries and cream on for baking practice. my parents like to put it on ice cream, but they forget i don’t like it and have to give it away. i bet you would like it, and you’d feel like a monarch just sitting there being fed strawberries and cake and ice cream.

we could go roll down on hills together. i find it really fun to just get lost in myself as i roll. my sister hates how the grass gets in her mouth though, i never told her to eat the grass. my parents think it’s dirty. i think you’d have fun in it with me, its a lovely experience.

i don’t want to drag this on too much so i’ll stop here, you doing bed to hear 5 hours worth of things i thought about doing with you.

i love you j.d

- i wish i could assign songs to different people like you do, though my VERY limited music taste prevents me from doing so. i prefer to assign objects or colours to people. the colour that always pops into my mind when i think of you is a very light mint green, and most of the things i associate with you are little trinkets i've found around my room or outside, like this little wooden peacock i have or a container of shells from back when i went to b.c and kept running up and down the beach trying to find crabs. (surprise!! i didn't find any.) - i remember when i was little my mother had planted a few strawberry plants in our garden for my birthday when i was around six and i absolutely adored them!! everyday before school i would run out to the garden to check them for fruit and to water them, and when the fruit finally appeared i would pick as many strawberries my hands could carry and bring them inside. i think strawberry picking with you would be really fun, i'd bring two of those cottagecore wicker baskets for you and me to put strawberries in, i'd bring a camera too, though i think i'd just be taking photos of you. - gah that'd be so much fun!! i do that too whenever me and my sister go out to a park or somewhere else, though she never does it with me. there's this park near where i used to live, it has this huge hill that kids go sledding on during the winter. i used to love to go sledding there because of how fast i would go (the sled in question was one of those long sheets of plastic with two holes at the front), though it was more times than none that i would find myself landing face first into the snow.

i love you too keiko <33

#keiko tag #j.d answers #j.d's favourite asks #keiko's love letters

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morganaseren · 4 years ago

Text

OC Introduction

Tagged by: @illusivesoul Thanks! Sorry this took so long!

Tagging: @this-is-something-idk-what, @noeldressari, @alessandramortt, @theherowarden, @jellydishes As per usual, I can never figure out who has or hasn’t been tagged by this. No pressure if you don’t want to participate though! Below is the template you can use.

My answers will be under the Read More.

---

Fandom:

Role:

BASICS

Full Name:

Nickname(s):

Pronouns:

Sexuality:

Occupation and Titles:

Birthday & Age:

Physical description:

Clothing style:

BACKGROUND

COMBAT & SKILLS

Preferred fighting style:

Special skills:

RELATIONSHIPS

Family:

Love interest:

Best friends:

PERSONALITY

Positive traits:

Negative traits:

Likes:

Dislikes:

Fears:

Guilty Pleasure:

Hobbies:

Fandom: Dragon Age

Role: Inquisitor

BASICS

Full Name: Niamh (pronounced “Neev”) Cousland

Nickname(s): Neevy (from Sera), Brat (from Leliana lolol), Storm Pup (mostly from her late mother’s side of the family)

Pronouns: She/Her

Sexuality: Lesbian

Occupation and Titles: Niamh is the leader of the Inquisition forces and is also hailed as the Herald of Andraste. Although all her rights to the Cousland estate along with any titles associated with it were forfeited the moment her magic manifested, her ties to her family name are still recognized and vice versa--perhaps especially so now with her being Inquisitor. Thus, in accordance to an older tradition from her late mother’s family, she is also titled the Storm Wolf of Highever per her brother Teyrn Fergus Cousland.

Birthday & Age: Niamh was born on the 3rd of Cloudreach in 9:08 Dragon, so she’s 33 as of Inquisition and 36 as of the Trespasser DLC.

Physical description: She’s a woman of middling height (5′6″ or 168cm). Niamh’s hair is pitch-black, which settles asymmetrically around her face with a longer fringe covering one of her eyes--a pale, misty-grey hue. Physique-wise, she’s full of wiry muscle, especially along her arms, shoulders, and back--testament to years of heavy staffwork.

Clothing style: This is more dependent on what setting she finds herself in. Around Skyhold or in more official circumstances, she tends to garb herself in formal wear such as the one seen below.

When she’s out and about on missions, her attire consists more of cloth and leather as depicted in the screenshot above. As a native Fereldan, she has a tendency to favor fur in her overall field outfit, which is evident in the black Great Bear fur seen along the spaulders atop her shoulders. Then, as an occasional artist, her sketchbook is ever present, constantly hanging from her belt as she draws flora, fauna, and anything of interest in her travels to properly document later. Littered amongst the sketches are also occasional plans for whatever project she’d like to work on back at Skyhold.

Art and crafting is ever her way of relaxing.

Despite being an artist, her color palette in terms of clothing remains relatively simple even if the cut of them are always finely-tailored. She favors darker colors overall with white and varying shades of grey. Occasionally, a splash of color is thrown in every now and again for visual emphasis.

For instance, the red scarf you see on her is a gift from Bethany Hawke. ;3

BACKGROUND

Niamh is the youngest child of Bryce and Eleanor Cousland.

She was born beneath a violent storm that only settled as her newborn cries filled the world--a telltale sign perhaps of the destiny that would later be laid out before her.

She was taken away to Ferelden’s Circle when her magic manifested at the age of four. Niamh was the youngest to enter Kinloch Hold that year, and she was inconsolable for several months as she struggled to adapt to her new surroundings and the many strangers that were meant to be her new family of sorts.

Of all the mages present, she was closest to Jowan since he was only a year or two older than her, and the then young boy was responsible for drawing her out of her sullen shell--enough to where she could finally be comfortable with interacting with others after months of frightened silence. The two children did everything together and were otherwise inseparable. Unfortunately, their relationship would later become strained as they entered into adolescence, especially as Niamh grew into her magical abilities and surpassed him entirely in power, astounding the likes of First Enchanter Irving and Wynne--both whom became her respective mentors--with her command over the elements.

Niamh was able to successfully undertake the Harrowing at the age of seventeen, earning the right to be recognized as a full-fledged mage. She was never designated an Enchanter throughout her time in the Circle, for she had no personal apprentices of her own. The few new ones to arrive at the Tower were assigned to those who had passed the Harrowing before her, but she was content to help them and the Senior Enchanters however she could. Her kindness, patience, and calm diligence earned her easy friendships.

...or at least she thought so until some of her colleagues turned on her with Uldred’s coup following the onset of the Blight.

Caught between blood mages and Templars who believed she had a hand in Uldred’s machinations, she likely would have succumbed to either party eventually had her sister Saoirse--now a Grey Warden--not arrived to help cleanse the Tower of abominations and save First Enchanter Irving and the remaining Senior Enchanters.

For her efforts in saving them, Niamh was allowed to accompany her sister on her travels across Ferelden along with Wynne. She formed a fast friendship with Leliana early on, and it eventually led to heavy infatuation on Niamh’s end, but it stuttered to an abrupt halt when she realized her sister was also in love with the bard. Believing that she had nothing of worth to offer to Leliana as a mere mage, Niamh buried her feelings for the other woman, watching from afar as she fell for Saoirse.

Saoirse was as bold as all great heroes could ever hope to be, and so she was well-suited for Leliana, but it was Niamh who tempered much of her sister’s impulsiveness, especially when it came to matters of diplomacy.

---

"Can't we just--"

"No." Niamh just kept her gaze forward as they walked out of the Deep Roads, refusing to look at her sister.

"But it's a good idea!" Saoirse insisted earnestly.

"Saoirse, in no world where you throw the crown at the two candidates for Orzammar's throne and expect the least most concussed to be King can ever be considered a 'good idea,'" Niamh deadpanned.

---

Yet, for all her brilliance with tactics and matters of negotiation, Niamh was unable to convince Saoirse to allow Morrigan to use her Dark Ritual despite knowing it would have saved any of the Grey Wardens from being sacrificed. Worse, her sister made her promise not to tell Leliana of Saoirse’s own plans to slay the Archdemon in the final battle.

As expected, it resulted in Saoirse’s death.

Racked with guilt over never telling Leliana the truth of the matter, and believing she had been left the last of the Couslands--a mage that Thedas would have never recognized--she disappeared following the end of the Fifth Blight. Niamh placed herself in a self-imposed exile abroad for over a decade until news of a Conclave by Divine Justinia was brought to her attention. The Divine had hoped to bring together both sides of the Mage-Templar War and negotiate its end.

For Niamh, this led her to return to Ferelden. It was her last hope to see if the world could finally begin to change for the better.

Instead, she was given a far different destiny...

COMBAT & SKILLS

Preferred fighting style: She prefers keeping herself at range on the battlefield, for it allows her to better survey it. She sees everything like an intricate chess game, and she always tries to place herself and her team at the best advantage to overcome their opponents.

As a mage, Niamh incorporates a lot of staffwork in her fighting, especially when it comes to casting magic. However, when she was living abroad, she had to learn to adjust her fighting style altogether so that she would never be suspected of being a mage. As such, she taught herself to fight with spears and polearms, as they were still similar enough to normal staff-fighting that it wouldn’t require a completely new foundation with which to work from.

Because the new style of fighting required her to be within relatively close quarters of her enemies, she learned to try and limit the time of the engagement with them as much as possible with quick, brutal strikes. That methodology happens regardless of how many opponents there are. A quick takedown means a much quicker escape after all. As a runaway apostate, she couldn’t risk leaving a trail of bodies behind her wherever she went.

Special skills: Niamh is specialized in all the elemental houses of magic although she favors lightning the most. During her time with the Inquisition, she also specialized in necromancy--much to the surprise of many.

RELATIONSHIPS

Family: Of the renowned Couslands, only she and her older brother Fergus remain, but despite their years apart(she honestly didn’t know that he survived the Battle of Ostagar until she returned to Ferelden in 9:41), they remain loving and supportive as always toward one another. Of her late mother’s family, the Mac Eanraigs, she gets along well with them, especially her Aunt Eithne (who will be making her first official appearance in chapter 24 of OtSttCA).

Love interest: Leliana (although they won’t be an official couple until close to chapter 30 or so)

Best friends: Dorian, Sera, and Cole. She views the three of them like younger siblings, which was an admittedly odd feeling for her at first, given that she’s the youngest of her own siblings.

Of her other companions, she is also closest to Vivienne although Niamh sees her more like a fond, maternal figure than a best friend. She greatly respects how the older woman was able to take her status as a mage and turn it into a position of power within the Orlesian Imperial Court, especially when so very little of it was ever afforded to their people. When it comes to the mage allies she gathered from Redcliffe, she trusts Vivienne’s judgment in overseeing them along with the Knight-Enchanters Niamh requested of her back in chapter 13, especially since Niamh travels so much between missions. Then, when it comes to just about anything regarding Orlais, she goes to Vivienne as much as Leliana or Josephine, mostly wanting the insight of a mage in regards to the culture and politics seen there.

Then, of her War Council, Leliana and Josephine are her absolute favorites. Niamh and Leliana have so much history between them that it’s impossible to separate themselves from one another, and she appreciates Josephine’s sweet nature as well as her diplomatic acumen.

PERSONALITY

Positive traits: Her adaptability. There’s an almost... chameleon-like nature to Niamh at times. As such, she can acclimate herself to whatever her environment asks of her and find a way to thrive in spite of it all. She’s also quite intelligent. Ever the eternal student, she constantly looks to expand her wealth of knowledge. Had she not been born a mage, she likely would have done well as a scholar in the world of Thedas. Niamh is also benevolent, always seeking to place more kindness into the world rather than contributing to the bad already within it.

Negative traits: After years of being taught rather toxic, religious doctrine from the Chantry in regards to mages, Niamh has rather low self-esteem, especially when it comes to the subject of love. She doesn’t believe herself worthy of Leliana for instance. As brilliant as she is, her mind can be rather restless at times. This can lead to overthinking outside of any tactical or official setting, which tends to feed back on her latent anxiety as a leader. Then, having spent a decade constantly on the move, she’s not used to staying still for long periods of time, which lends itself to some trouble, especially if she’s injured. She is quite literally the worst patient ever. :P

Likes: Storms, the ocean, mabari, tea, strategy games, sweets, books, art

Dislikes: The Chantry, Templars, discriminatory behavior, incivility,

Fears: The Rite of Tranquility, outright failure as a leader

Guilty Pleasure: Niamh has the most terrible sweet tooth. If given half the chance, she’d get her entire day’s sustenance through sweets alone. She actually does like fashion; she just couldn’t allow herself to indulge in it since her nomadic lifestyle before joining the Inquisition didn’t permit such luxury. She’d happily window-shop the entire day away if given the opportunity.

Hobbies: Sketching, painting, crafting, reading, chess

#OC introduction #Niamh Cousland #...i really do ramble a lot don't i? lol #Niamh FAQ

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magicofthepen · 3 years ago

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For the character thingy, romana and leela?? ❤

ROMANA - I’m going to answer for Romana I, since I already did Romana II!

favorite thing about them: so I fell in love with Romana I instantly when I watched The Ribos Operation. I was like “wait no one told me that Romana’s basically a recent graduate who always thrived in school but has now suddenly been thrust into the Real World and is a bit of a mess” and oh my god why is she so relatable, also I love that about her. I love that she doesn’t quite know what she’s doing, and her academic brilliance doesn’t necessarily help in the situations she’s finding herself in, but she keeps trying and learning, so by the end of season 16 she’s much more confident and capable on her own than she was when she started. I just absolutely adore the premise of her character and how she develops during the key to time quest. also her banter skills are so excellent. (….this wasn’t one thing whoops. 😄)

least favorite thing about them: I feel like it’s something about how she’s portrayed in the Gallifrey audios, but I can’t quite articulate what? but I feel like somehow, some of the things I really liked about her on TV (her witty fun banter, her determination even when she’s out of her depth) aren’t represented as much when we get glimpses of Actual Romana I (not Pandora or an alternate universe version). idk if this is even fully true, it’s just….she doesn’t quite have the same vibe as the character I remember from the TV show (but this is also tricky because the Lies scene, the Matrix projection in Lies (which *isn’t* really her technically) and the remains of her consciousness in the body that Pandora’s using are the only times we get Actual Romana I - which isn’t that much time to express all the nuances of her character.)

(continuing to skip the favorite line question because it’s too hard)

brOTP: her and the Doctor!! (like I said in the Romana II ask, I used to ship them more, but lately I’ve been more into a platonic interpretation.) I just as instantly fell for their dynamic in the Ribos Operation - two people with very different personalities who don’t get along but are forced to work together and gradually become friends?? this is exactly the kind of relationship arc that I adore. Their banter and snark is So Good (I was so entertained by their interactions in Ribos Operation that my brain refused to pay attention to anything but their scenes, and I ended up having issues following the plot later oops). And I love their growing respect and care for each other - how they go from being mutually dismissive of each other to valuing each other and being a solid Team and just really genuinely liking each other! their friendship is just Very Good (…..and now I really want to rewatch season 16….I’ve only seen it like one and a half times but I loved it very much….)

OTP: I don’t think I have any ships with Romana I that I would consider an ‘otp’? (the closest would be her and the Doctor since I have sometimes shipped them and I adore their relationship in general)

nOTP: Brax/Romana again….and tbh with Romana I it’s more of an actual nOTP (rather than ‘kinda nOTP, kinda ‘it’s complicated’’) because this is the time frame when she’s actually his student and so my discomfort with student/teacher relationships really rears its head (although there’s still one fic out there that I just think is so well-written.....but it does show the relationship as very unhealthy).

random headcanon: .....so sorry to continue Sartia posting, but oops the first thing that popped into my head is my new maybe-unrealistic headcanon that Sartia was Romana’s first kiss. in a teenage “I’m curious and want to try this thing and you’re the only person I hang out with, but it doesn’t mean anything....or does it??” way. (.....this is so self-indulgent in such a terrible way rip.)

unpopular opinion: Armageddon Factor is my favorite Key to Time story! (I gather this is an unpopular opinion in Doctor Who Fandom At Large, it doesn’t seem to be liked as much as some of the earlier stories in the season.) technically I’ve only seen it once and it was a couple years ago, but I remember loving it as a Romana story, there were a lot of really interesting character bits for her!

song i associate with them: hmm I don’t really have one? my Romana playlist is specifically for Romana II in Big Finish so....yeah.

favorite picture of them: anything with her Ribos Operation outfit (with the full cloak), it’s iconic and beautiful! on a similar note, I love this Romana I art by @volucris-liga, it’s the first Romana fanart I ever reblogged and it’s so pretty!

more under the cut!

LEELA

favorite thing about them: her resilience and her kindness. Leela goes through so much grief and pain, she has her world upended again and again, she never really finds a place where she belongs. and yet she still keeps choosing to love, choosing to keep fighting for what she believes in, choosing to rebuild again and again. and sometimes it’s really hard and she doesn’t want to go on….but she does, and she finds moments of happiness again. and that strength is really powerful. and no matter how cruel the universe (and other people) are to her, she is still relentlessly kind - she listens, she protects, she wants to help, she cares.

least favorite thing about them: I mean, the “savage” stereotype that her character references is a racist/anti-indigenous trope (especially the whole dynamic of the Doctor trying to “civilize” her ugh). and I hate that characters keep calling her “savage” (even when they’re the Bad Guys, it’s still bringing up this trope again and again, and it’s even worse when it’s the Good Guys). why are they still doing this.

brOTP: see all characters listed under otp, every relationship that I ship is also an incredibly important friendship in Leela’s life and I love all of them <33 as far as relationships that I see as entirely non-romantic….I really love the version of Leela and Ace’s relationship that exists in my head (and in fandom) - they didn’t get to interact enough in the audios, but I absolutely think they were really close, because of their shared experiences and the ways their personalities mesh. (I feel like I should also say the Doctor here, but tbh I don’t remember her TV stories that well, so I don’t really have a solid memory of what their relationship was like.) and of course, Leela’s parental relationship with Rayo is very important to me!

OTP: once again, ot3 my beloved <33 and Leela/Romana first and foremost (I already rambled about them here, so I’m just going to second everything I said earlier).

and I also ship Leela/Narvin, although I’m not quite as invested in that pairing? (due to a combination of ‘Romana is my favorite character and so I’m just more interested in her relationships with other characters,’ ‘I joined the fandom when things were pretty much all Leela/Narvin all the time (I say with great respect and affection for the artists and writers putting out amazing content for that ship) so I was motivated to write fic primarily for R/L and N/R to balance out the ot3 content,’ ‘apparently I have a contrary streak with Gallifrey and the more the writers push a romantic interpretation of a relationship, the less interested I am in actually shipping it,’ and ‘I’m not really into Leela/Narvin as a pairing on its own - although I do love a lot of fic that portrays them that way bc it’s just very well-written.’) But just. how they form a grudging alliance for Romana’s sake and then develop genuine respect for each other and then build this really solid foundation of teamwork and fondness and care and really relax and feel comfortable around each other….the way they become ride-or-die for each other and just trust and love each other so much….it’s Very Good!! (And I did love writing scenes with the two of them in Call It Home - I might not focus on them, but I do genuinely love their relationship.)

And of course Leela/Veega <33….I debated if they even interacted enough in the actual audios for me to consider it an otp, but I love the idea of their relationship and the story of them in my head so much?? going to link to this post because it really captures my feelings about them - they’ve both been through so much grief and pain by the time they meet, they’ve both lost people they love before, so the idea of them choosing to love each other and build something together against the odds is just. very powerful. plus I have a whole playlist for the family they’ve built together, which is a strong indication that I really love this ship. 😊

nOTP: Leela/Andred. last time I answered an ask meme about Leela, I had this complicated response about how I hated Leela/Andred when I watched Invasion of Time (bc it’s so abrupt and arbitrary), and then Louise Jameson’s voice acting Convinced Me To Care because oh she really did love him....alas i am a Leela/Andred detractor at heart, and I have been nudged back to my default state by re-listening….I simply hate how he treats Leela in Gallifrey.

random headcanon: I really like the idea of Leela being more politically involved in her own right after they all return from the Axis. She’s just spent a lot of time leading a group of people who don’t have a voice in the government, fighting for their rights against the established injustices of Gallifreyan society. I don’t think she’d easily slip back into only being Romana’s bodyguard after experiencing more political autonomy on the other Gallifrey. What exactly this looks like in practice I’m not sure about - in my one fic ‘verse, I wrote about her being more directly involved with the Academy as a political liaison and guest tutor, and also advocating to Romana for policies that would benefit those who live outside the city on their home Gallifrey. but there’s probably a lot of options to explore here!

unpopular opinion: hmm I don’t think this is necessarily unpopular but idk and I want to talk about it: even though Leela identifies so strongly as a warrior, a “happy ending” for her would, I think, need to involve getting away from fighting. too often she throws herself into a fight to try to avoid thinking about how much she’s hurting, and it doesn’t work, it doesn’t stop the pain. and in the Time War, she’s tied her identity so strongly to war (it’s inevitable, inescapable, and she will Fight and Defend because that’s all she has left). there’s a difference between “I am a warrior” and “all I am is a warrior,” and Leela’s slid too far into the second one, and she needs to untangle her own identity from war to heal.

song i associate with them: Freedom by Karmina (it’s a song about going on defiantly in the face of heartbreak - “Tearing my room apart, I’m starting over” / “Take my pride I can still survive I’ve got my freedom” / “Hunt me down you’ll never find me now that I’ve got my freedom”)

favorite picture of them: the first one that came to mind is this gorgeous art by @laurelhach (which I didn’t realize was based on a picture until I stumbled across the original picture and was like oh my god!! it looks exactly like the art!!)

#thank you for sending these!! <33 #sircarolyn #asks #gallifrey audios #romana #leela #ramblings #gallifrey spoilers

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roselovesa · 3 years ago

Text

have you seen CHOI HYEJIN ? i heard SHE is a FLORIST at THE GREEN MEADOW. they’re 21 years old and they’ve been living in san verto for one year. they tend to be BENEVOLENT & MAGNANIMOUS, but rumor has it they can also be CAPRICIOUS & FINICKY.

｡* ❪ 📂 𝐂://STATISTICS.

name: choi hyejin

age: twenty - one

sign: pisces sun / libra moon ( click )

sexuality: bisexual

gender: cis woman ( she/her/hers )

occupation: florist , pianist, & composer

alignment: chaotic neutral

｡* ❪ 📂 𝐂://BIOGRAPHY

* note: minho’s little sister !! <33

📍 𝙿𝙰𝚁𝚃 𝙾𝙽𝙴 - 𝚜𝚎𝚘𝚞𝚕, 𝚜𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚑 𝚔𝚘𝚛𝚎𝚊.

born as the youngest child of a nurse & a teacher, hyejin’s childhood was nothing out of the ordinary. her love for music had always been apparent — her mother noticing early on that, whenever her daughter was throwing a hissy fit, all she had to do was play some �� classical music in order to get her to calm down

hence, it shouldn’t have been a surprise that her father decided to teach her how to play the piano at the age of 6. & by the age of 9 she was labeled a child prodigy. hyejin would often participate in competitions, attend music camps, & play in front of anyone who was willing to listen. her talent was undeniable, truly

in the years to follow she would pick up other instruments here & there ( violin, guitar, french horn ), but nothing seemed to stick as much as piano did. hyejin would also dabble in writing her own music, often with the help of her father

& if there’s one thing hyejin learned it’s that practice makes perfect. by the age of 11 she managed to become an extremely valuable asset for her school’s yearly musicals as she composed about 60% of the songs performed <33

she went viral on social media a few times as well, her youtube channel accumulating about 1.6M views by her 4th upload. she would frequently get interviewed around that time as well, with professionals often commenting on hyejin’s bright future

📍 𝙿𝙰𝚁𝚃 𝚃𝚆𝙾 - 𝚗𝚎𝚠 𝚢𝚘𝚛𝚔 𝚌𝚒𝚝𝚢, 𝚄𝚂𝙰.

her brother getting injured on tv was a catalyst of change. hyejin convinced her parents to let her move to new york in order to take care of him, being well aware her life had considerably dulled the moment he decided to leave a few years prior

the move went smoothly, & with opportunities lining up in front of her, she decided to get a bachelor’s degree in music composition, her accomplishments allowing her to attend one of the most prestige universities in the city

it’s there where she fell in love with a guy who she deemed to be a mentor of sorts ; always pushing her to do better & achieve unattainable perfection. it had been so easy for hyejin to trust him with her work, with him appearing to be the more experienced & wiser of the two. he was a child of a famous musician after all, mastering the arts of sweet talking unassuming girls with a whole lot of empty promises

so when their uni announced a proposal of a student being able to apply for an internship that would skyrocket their careers right into stardom, hyejin was well aware this was an opportunity that couldn’t be missed. her boyfriend mentioned how he wouldn’t apply, seeing his father could offer him a job easily, but mentioned how she should send her work to him so he could look it over & help her out

😬

“ hey babe, i’m sorry to tell you this but the piece you sent me just isn’t that good… i can’t quite put my finger on it, but the composition is just wrong. it’s okay, though, you’re only a freshman & still have a lot to learn, we’ll work on it together. but maybe forget about the internship for now ? i’m sure with some improvement my father will manage to get you an even better job… anyways, love you, talk to you soon ”

crestfallen & humiliated, hyejin accepted the fact that it would be simply too embarrassing to submit the sheets of music she’d written. it was two weeks later that her boyfriend abruptly ghosted her, only for her to find out he’d gotten the internship by applying with the composed music she sent him. he denied any claims of stealing, & when hyejin told her professor about the situation he basically wrote it off as well

📍 𝙿𝙰𝚁𝚃 𝚃𝙷𝚁𝙴𝙴: 𝚜𝚊𝚗 𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚝𝚘, 𝚄𝚂𝙰.

in the next few months it felt like her life had crumbled down around her, hyejin’s future career appearing grim. minho & her decided to move to san verto in order to find peace, a fresh start waiting for them there

she took up multiple side jobs to get her music out there again, while also trying to push past the writer’s block she experienced due to stress. on week days she would give rich kids piano lessons after uni & bloom under the praises their parents would give her skills. on the weekends she would play at a 5 star restaurant, hoping the right people would discover her there

having lost the comfort music once gave her, hyejin decided to take up a job as a florist & keeps herself busy tending to flowers. it isn’t her ideal career plan, but at least she’s moving forward with her life

throughout the years she kept uploading videos of her playing piano on youtube, each video getting about 900k views on average. it allows her to be fairly recognizable on her own accord, although most of her fame comes from being associated with her brother. she’s starting to climb in popularity, though, spending some of her time to focus on crafting a stronger social media presence

｡* ❪ 📂 𝐂://PERSONALITY.

🦋 𝙰𝚂𝚃𝚁𝙾𝙻𝙾𝙶𝚈 - 𝚜𝚞𝚗 𝚒𝚗 𝚙𝚒𝚜𝚌𝚎𝚜, 𝚖𝚘𝚘𝚗 𝚒𝚗 𝚕𝚒𝚋𝚛𝚊

click me !

empathic, romantic, impressionable, & imaginative - hyejin tends to see the world through a rose colored glass ; the harsh realities of life often making her want to indulge in escapism. overall a generous and kind person

can’t handle pressure well, ultimately she’s a perfectionist. hyejin has a specific vision of how she wants her life to play out, & if anything interferes with that she might feel devastated & defeated. however, she’s quick to get back on her feet & continue pursuing what she was working on

obsessed with fairytale romances, used to read countless of young adult novels hoping she’d experience love like that. hyejin easily tends to romanticize & idealize the people she’s fond of, thinking they can do no wrong in her eyes & putting them on a pedestal *coughs* minho :(

despite all of that she has a great intuition, hypersensitive to her environment. she’s often aware of other people’s emotions, meaning when someone or something’s off she usually able to identify such things immediately

would prefer to avoid conflict at all cost as well, she doesn’t enjoy being faced with consequences of her own actions

at first glance she can appear rather stand-offish as well, not really the type to walk up to someone & handle small talk in an eloquent way. she’s shy & an introvert, the type to hide behind her mother whenever someone addressed her when she was younger. hyejin is only able to come out of her shell around people she knows she can trust

channels all of her feelings into her art !!

｡* ❪ 📂 𝐂://WANTED CONNECTIONS.

💌 𝚁𝙾𝙼𝙰𝙽𝚃𝙸𝙲 - 𝚜𝚞𝚐𝚐𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 ( open to m/f/nb muses ! )

current flings

will they / won’t they

friends with benefits ( one-sided, purely platonic, etc… )

unrequited love type of thing ( either hyejin or your muse )

fake dating au

exes on bad terms

exes on good terms

enemies to friends ( ? ) to lovers / flings ( ? ) to exes ( ? ) ( we can do this however you see fit ! )

one of them caught feelings ( thinking they had something special ) & suddenly the other ghosted, perhaps leaving behind a bruised ego )

💌 𝙿𝙻𝙰𝚃𝙾𝙽𝙸𝙲 - 𝚜𝚞𝚐𝚐𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 ( open to m/f/nb muses ! )

best friend

good influence

bad influence

childhood friends

protective type of friendship ( can go either way ! )

confidants

someone ( preferably an artist ) hyejin looks up to

friends who hang out purely because it’s good for their public image

secret type of friendship where being seen together in public would damage their image, aka them meeting up in private !

were set up on a blind date together, hit it off in a platonic way & became really good friends <33

only hang out because of mutual friends

💌 𝙼𝙸𝚂𝙲𝙴𝙻𝙻𝙰𝙽𝙴𝙾𝚄𝚂 - 𝚜𝚞𝚐𝚐𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 ( open to m/f/nb muses ! )

hyejin’s muse aka whenever she sees them she gets inspired to write a song or two <3

blackmailing type of plots

general dislike for each other, they simply do not vibe

someone hyejin teaches how to play piano

rivalry, they see each other as competition

have shared secret where both of them are/were involved in a situation, & promised secrecy to each other

@foolsstarters

#foolsintro #🥺#also if you see any spelling errors .. no you didnt

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sometimes-love-is-enough · 4 years ago

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aw fuck yeah min ask meme!!!!!! for eucatastrophe, 4 and 28; for melliferous, 3, 9, and 28 (again); for i love you and everything is beautiful, 9 and 10; and, in general, 7, 8, 20, 33, and 36. look, i just really like your writing, and hearing about your writing, and. min words good

ah!! lotsa stuff! let’s go

4. Did you have any ideas that didn’t make the final cut of Eucatastrophe?

So many ideas, I think I’d need another post to summarize them all. Some of them include: all of melliferous, a riddle battle that Janus was gonna have with the Two-Faced King, Patton starting a fairy revolution, a wild pirate sea ballad, and there was so much cannibalism in the initial plan you have no idea.

28. Is there a part of Eucatastrophe you’re surprised no one has picked up on yet?

Okay, so maybe it’s not something I’m surprised nobody picked up on, but!! in the song from chapter 11, where they’re all trying to convince Nyarlathotep not to eat all of reality, all of the sides use different forms of logical appeal! Logan and Patton use logos and pathos respectively (obviously), Janus tries ethos, Virgil goes for kairos. Roman uses appeal to culture (mythos), and Remus’s appeal strat doesn’t have a name but i called it ‘remos’ in my notes because I think I’m funny.

3. Do you have a favorite scene you’ve written from melliferous?

I am really fond of those two consecutive scenes in Seph’s bar and Hades’ kitchen. the vibes of them were very clear in my head and they were Extremely Fun To Do.

9. If you had to assign a theme song to melliferous, which would you assign?

ahh, that’s a hard one, because there’s... a lot of songs I associate with melliferous. It’s probably either Honeybee by Steam Powered Giraffe or Sweet Bod by Lemon Demon! which are both very good songs

28. Is there a part of melliferous you’re surprised no one has picked up on yet?

there’s a lot of parts of melliferous that i’m not sure if people have picked up or not. there’s approximately a fuckton of layers to the bee symbolism that i could dig into, or maybe the identities of all the unnamed side characters, or... oh wait, no, I know. You know how Virgil’s the one that takes the lead when they climb down into hell? that was very intentional. virgil’s the hell guide, classically speaking!! that’s what his name is!!

9. If you had to assign a theme song to ilyaeib, which would you assign?

i tried to think of a serious answer to this but... it’s just Cup of Poisoned Coffee from The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals. That’s it.

10. What is the line you’re proudest of from ilyaeib?

“I love you, Roman,” says Thomas desperately, grabbing for his hand. He misses, and tries again, and misses, and on the third time he catches hold of it and doesn’t let go, and Roman’s stopped sinking out so that’s something, isn’t it? It’s got to be. “Roman, I love you. You – we – I made a mistake, and so you made a mistake by extension, and yeah it wasn’t great but it’s, there... there wasn’t any harm done. Not really. Not to anyone apart from us. Roman? I don’t hate you. The others don’t, either. Why won’t you look at me? Roman, I love you, please.”

“Do you think if we keep telling each other that, we’re going to actually start believing it eventually?” Roman says dully, finally meeting his gaze.

7. What story/headcanons do you feel the proudest of?

Eucatastrophe!! it feels kinda redundant to say that at this point but... i put a lot of work into it, and it was a story i really wanted to tell, and... i did it!!

8. Do you prefer writing one-shots or multi chaptered stories?

multi-chapter is preferred!! because it means i can tell longer stories with complicated plots (and potentially, leave people on cliffhangers and get ‘HEY WHAT THE FUCK’ comments at the end of chapters re: plot points i intend to resolve).

also, i’m a wordy person. more words = more chapters.

20. What feedback makes you the happiest to hear?

stuff like ‘hey, i learnt something from this!’ is always really nice. but also i absolutely adore when people tell me ‘hey, when i read [this bit] i nearly threw my laptop across the room in pure unadulterated fury, and then i walked around thinking about it all day’. but also. any feedback makes me happy. i just. thank you to everyone who comments on stuff i write. it means so much.

33. Have you ever stopped yourself from writing something? Why?

Mhm. I stop myself from writing AUs all the time because 95% of the time I just want to write them because I read/watched/consumed something else recently, and really want to make something that’s functionally identical to it. e.g., i play Oxenfree, I immediately want to write an Oxenfree AU, I ask myself ‘why do you want to write that? is it because you think you can write an interesting, original story based around that concept?’ - and most of the time, the answer to that is ‘no, i just like the vibes’. and that doesn’t make a good story! it’s probably more fun to draw.

i have also stopped myself from writing one specific because it got too disturbing, even for me. but i’ve also made a promise to finish that. eventually. so.

36. What fanfic of yours has the symbolism you’re proudest of?

melliferous. i can’t stress this enough: there are SO many layers to the bee thing.

#melliferous #eucatastrophe #pick a side #asks #writing ask meme #long post #Anonymous

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samsoleil · 4 years ago

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9 and 10?

ask game

V I am sending the most fond vibes in your direction I hope they make it there okay!!

10. Your favourite season and why.

Honestly? Either S2 or S11.

Season 2: Sam has psychic powers and Dean is terrified that his brother might actually be bad, but is still ride or die for him. This is where we can see their relationship flourish without the search for John hanging over their heads. But y'know what does hang over their heads? John telling Dean he'll either have to save Sam or kill him, and Sam who is desperate to be saved and willing to be killed. And then!! when Sam dies!!! Dean saves him in the worst possible way!!!! Also, it's visually gorgeous. You've got the high contrast vibes from S1 but slightly less desaturated and you've still got the grainy film texture. An excellent time.

Season 11: Listen. I still think it should have been Chuck sending Sam visions. And I don't particularly care for the B plot. But Sam and Dean peak in this season for the first time since pre-s4 and it was amazing. It's the immediate aftermath of Sam literally unleashing "a force on the world that could destroy it" to save Dean. Codependency at its peak. And in two mid-season episodes they absolutely nail the S2 energy. I mean, establishing beyond any doubt that Dean loves Sam? And then making him think Sam is dead in the very next episode? Where Sam is also the dictionary definition of BAMF? Not to mention, Sam is just. so understanding of Dean and his messy feelings about Amara. Love that for them.

9. What episodes best encapsulates the brother’s relationship? Does this change throughout the series? Doesn’t have to be the best episode btw.

To answer the second question, the brother’s relationship very obviously changes throughout the show. It’s obviously very codependent from the get go (especially from Sam’s perspective! Literally unendurable), and it varies in toxicity. Some seasons they are very soft! Some seasons I want to shout at Sam to run for the hills and never return. And then there are some episodes in seasons where their relationship is literally awful that are wonderfully tender (like 08x21 when Dean says “You gotta let me take care of you, man”).

Imo, S1-3 are peak brothers. S4/5 are excellent to watch but not the most tender. S6 is on thin fucking ice. S7-10 are, generally speaking, when I would absolutely be willing to kill a man (Dean), but are still SO compelling because these crazy kids are devoted and have no moral boundaries when it comes to the other. S11 is a return to the good stuff! I haven’t seen the seasons after that but from what I have seen, Sam becomes a Dean apologist and Dean just gets worse. But they’re still codependent, so that’s fine. “You were gonna leave and you weren’t even going to tell me?” and “What about me? Would you trade me?” are baller lines. Sam is a grown man but he’s out here saving the world by being Dean’s baby brother. Iconic of them.

OKAY so. First question. I originally had several episodes per season but I have to limit it to 2, this is going to be too long otherwise. Also, as you well know, I've only watched up to 12x06, so I won't include S12 here.

Episodes (and explanations) under the cut!

Obviously, both 01x01 Pilot and 15x20 Carry On. Literally the perfect bookends for this show. I don’t need to elaborate.

01x05 Bloody Mary - Has the moment where Dean actually has an emotional conversation with his brother, because he’s switched on to Sam’s emotional needs. He was willing to let Sam blame him for Jess’ death so that Sam didn’t blame himself! And near the end it has the iconic line "You're my brother and I'd die for you." Dean, right? No! It was Sam!! Anyone with any sort of reservations about whether Sam cared about Dean in early S1 can refer to this episode. It’s episode 5!! of the whole show!! and it has that line!!

01x11 Faith - Sam has absolutely no regrets about someone dying to save Dean's life. In retrospect, this episode says a lot about how much Sam loves Dean.

02x01 In My Time of Dying - Sam can sense that Dean is there, either through psychic powers or because they are soulmates. Both are good. Also, Dean is told that he may have to kill Sam, which influences their dynamic for the rest of the show <33

02x21 All Hell Breaks Loose Part 1 - Dean, on his knees in the mud, telling Sam's corpse that it'll be okay and screaming his name. That is all. Also, after thoroughly chewing out a victim earlier in the season for selling his soul to save a loved one, Dean sells his soul to save a loved one.

03x08 A Very Supernatural Christmas - Sam decorated a Christmas tree with pine air fresheners to give Dean a Christmas. Obsessed.

03x11 Mystery Spot - Dean dies repeatedly, then dies for good for about 6 months, and Sam becomes a ruthless hunter in order to bring him back. Dean spends longer dead in this episode than he actually does at the end of S4.

04x14 Sex and Violence - Dean's siren is literally just a version of Sam that is devoted to Dean and would do anything he says.

04x22 Lucifer Rising - Bobby coming for Dean's life. The VOICEMAIL!! Dean acting as though them being family is a cure-all and saying he'll beat Sam up, but also apologising. I'll take it. And then, of course, the voicemail Sam hears, which is more or less what Dean said in 04x04, and that being what tips him over the edge. The edge, of course, being killing Lilith to avenge Dean’s death, which has been his quest since the end of S3. Excellent.

05x16 Dark Side of the Moon - Ohoho. This episode. You know why this episode is here.

05x22 Swan Song - Same as the above! Dean who doesn't have a plan, just doesn't want his little brother to die alone. Sam, who fights off the devil himself and (essentially) kills himself to save his brother and the car they call their home. That memory sequence, for me, gave Sam the power not to save the world, but to save his brother. The world was just a bonus.

06x11 Appointment in Samara - "Dean doesn't care about me, he just cares about his little brother, Sammy, burning in hell. He'll kill me to get that other guy back." Dean's anger at himself for screwing up and forfeiting Sam's soul was. a lot. Also, Sam begging for his life and Dean just continuing anyway? Horrific. But very testament to their relationship at this point. Dean wants Sammy back and he WILL kill this other guy to do it.

06x22 The Man Who Knew Too Much - Sam being right about the consequences of having his soul put back in. And "You know me. You know why. I'm not leaving my brother alone out there."

07x03 The Girl Next Door - I was tossing up between this and 07x02 but. this has some flashbacks to past Sam!! Unfortunately, it also has Dean punching Sam for using the Impala, the car they both rely on to get around. And Dean murdering Sam's childhood friend for killing rapists. This isn’t an episode that makes you think “Awh, they’re codependent!”, it’s an episode that makes you send Sam vibes screaming at him to get out.

07x14 Plucky Pennywhistle's Magical Menagerie - Ever think that maybe Sam fears clowns because he associates them with being abandoned? Also, nostalgia vs reality.

08x09 Citizen Fang - The voicemail from S4 is still hanging over our heads. Dean asking “Does that sound like the Benny we know?” and Sam replying “I don’t know Benny.” Dean keeping Benny away from Sam because Sam is apparently the one who will kill monsters with no nuance or remorse. But this episode is on the list specifically because of how pivotal the line "Yes, I do – too well. In fact, every relationship I have ever had has gone to crap at some point. But the one thing I can say about Benny – he has never let me down." is in absolutely wrecking Sam's mental health down the road!

08x23 Sacrifice - For obvious reasons! “You know what I confessed in there? What my greatest sin was? It was how many times I let you down!” and then Dean’s speech of blatant lies. It sounded good, though. Dean really is that devoted, but unfortunately he has amnesia.

09x01 I Think I'm Gonna Like It Here - Autonomy violation. This is what advanced care directives are for. Dean being so dependent on Sam that he would violate his autonomy and trick him into consenting to possession. Dean will do anything to keep Sam alive, including destroy Sam.

09x16 Blade Runners - The parallels between Colette and Sam are unbearable. “Drop the blade.” Also, Dean becomes SO feral when Sam’s cheek gets cut.

10x19 Book of the Damned - Sam’s speech! “But I can’t do it without my brother. I don’t want to do it without my brother. And if he’s gone, then I don’t….”

10x24 Brother's Keeper - Ahahahahaaa. Sam kneeling down in front of Dean and letting him kill him, if he wants. Dean not doing so. Please do not emulate this relationship in your real human lives.

11x04 Baby - Obvious reasons. Also, the perfect example of how these two communicate. Dean clearly states his opinion so that Sam has something to base his arguments around, and then Sam provides his perspective. That meta about how Dean and Sam communicate and how Sam is the major decision maker opened my eyes. Impeccable takes.

11x16 Safe House - The thing Dean loves being Sam (and Sam being genuinely relieved that it was!!). Sam propping Dean’s sleeping body against the fridge while saying “I got you! Stay with me.” Him cradling Dean in his arms and patting his head and Dean being SO confused but not fighting it.

11x17 Red Meat - Okay, I lied about the 2 per season thing, I just needed all three of these episodes. They are too good to not include. Dean joking to hide how scared he is for Sam? Being willing to let all three of them die just because he thinks Sam is dead? Attempting/committing suicide to try to bring him back? Sam fighting through immense pain to get back to his brother? This episode is so good. They are absolute lunatics (affectionate).

#emblian #ask game #answered #spn #V I LOVE YOU!!#kael.txt

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rabbitcruiser · 2 years ago

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National Ferris Wheel Day

Ferris wheels have always been associated with childhood; it’s no surprise how loved they are around the world, as people who aren’t afraid of heights get to see the horizon of the world around them.

Ferris wheels, however, are a most recent invention over the past 200 years. That’s why National Ferris Wheel Day exists! National Ferris Wheel Day is all about teaching people the history and cultural significance of this magnificent machine.

Learn about National Ferris Wheel Day

National Ferris Wheel Day has been designed to honor George Washington Gale Ferris, Jr, who is, of course, the inventor of the Ferris Wheel! We’re sure that most people reading this have fond memories of going on a Ferris Wheel, whether at a theme park or at a tourist attraction. Ferris Wheels are a lot of fun, coming in different sizes and enabling us to see for miles and miles! You may have even had your first kiss on a Ferris Wheel!

Since the Ferris Wheel has been invented, there have been some incredible Ferris Wheels built around the world. This includes Canada’s Niagara Skywheel, which enables you to look over the Niagara Falls. It’s truly breathtaking. You also have The London Eye, which looks over London’s Thames River. Another famous Ferris Wheel is the Tianjin Eye Ferris Wheel in Tianjin, China. What makes this Ferris Wheel so spectacular is the fact that is erected over a bridge that spans the Hair River. There are so many incredible Ferris Wheels, so we definitely recommend doing a bit of digging online on this day. You could even make a bucket list of Ferris Wheels that you would like to visit!

History of National Ferris Wheel Day

George Washington Gale Ferris invented the Ferris wheel in 1893 when at age 33, he introduced his invention to the World’s Columbian Exposition.

This exhibition was also known as the Chicago World’s Fair, where people at the time were celebrating the 400th anniversary of Columbus’ landing in the New World. When people saw it for the first time, they immediately saw it as the United States’ version of the Effiel Tower.

Ferris’s creation stood at an enormous 260 feet high, with 36 cars encased with glass and locked doors, and weighed in at a total 26,000 pounds. After the exhibition, the Ferris wheel ran from June until October 1863. It wasn’t until 1894 that the Ferris wheel got taken down completely.

The dismantled part of the Ferris wheel was actually made into good use; During World War I, the scraps were used to make battleships, specifically the U.S.S Illinois. Now, Ferris wheels are everywhere, from carnivals, festivals, and can be seen at any kind of celebration.

This holiday honors his birthday as well as his invention. People celebrate this holiday by taking the time to ride the Ferris wheel and feel the wonder and excitement that comes from it.

Some make it a lover’s date, as it is the perfect place to gain some intimacy. Others come with their friends and family to take part in the event and some just take the time to learn about the different kinds of Ferris wheels around the world, which is fun in its own right.

How to Celebrate National Ferris Wheel Day

Head to your closest fairground, theme park, or showground and go straight to the Ferris wheel for some awesome fun! Bring your friends, family or lover with you when you go, and make it a date.

The theme parks that have been built over the years are truly incredible. If you plan ahead of time, you can make sure that National Ferris Wheel Day is one to remember by visiting one of the most thrilling theme parks in your area. Not only will you be able to go on a Ferris Wheel but there will be plenty of other rides for you to enjoy as well, from rollercoasters to dark rides and themed experiences. There is something for everyone!

Take some time to learn about the ingenuity involved with inventing the Ferris wheel, and look up all the most well-known Ferris wheels from around the world. Host a party and make the theme all about Ferris wheels.

You can also take some time to learn about the different facts associated with Ferris Wheels. If you take a look online, you will see that there are some really interesting facts. For example, did you know that the largest Ferris wheel in the world is found in Las Vegas? It is called the High Roller and it is 550 feet tall! You can also look up some of the more classic Ferris Wheels. For example, there is the Wonder Wheel of Coney Island. This Ferris Wheel has been standing for over 100 years now and it was constructed by the Eccentric Ferris Wheel Company. You’ll find it in New York.

Of course, the day has been chosen because it is the same date as the birthday of the inventor, George Washington Gale Ferris Jr. So, why not learn a bit more about him? A civil engineer, born in Galesburg, Illinois, George is known for the Ferris wheel concept and the original Chicago Ferris Wheel. He lived a short life, dying at the age of 37-years-old. This was shortly after the death of his father. Both died of typhoid fever. Despite having a short life, George Washington Gale Ferris Jr. certainly achieved a lot, and you will find a lot of interesting reads about his achievements.

If you’re an avid collector, start collecting antiques associated with Ferris wheels and help share your love of Ferris wheels with your friends.

Source

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ghost-in-the-stalls · 3 years ago

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Neil Josten's Playlist Part 5 - Nicky, Aaron, and Kevin

Masterpost and link to the playlist in its entirety here

Not as much to say about these three here - they each kind of speak for themselves I think.

Nicky

18. Relief - Chris Garneau

Of all the foxes, Nicky shows Neil more music than anyone else. Typically, though, it’s music Neil isn’t super into. Nicky knows Neil isn’t into most of the stuff he shows him, but Neil will still sit and listen to it with him if he is asked and isn’t busy, so Nicky keeps doing it anyway. I can imagine Chris Garneau being one of Nicky’s favorite artists, but one he keeps close to his heart. Several of his songs just hit me like they’re talking about the trauma and just general impact of growing up queer and topics like that, and I feel like it’s stuff that would really hit Nicky.

So Nicky listens to Chris Garneau (though he never was able to listen to Halloween the same again after what happened with Drake), but he doesn’t show Neil any of the songs intentionally. But one day Neil gets out of a class early and walks in on Nicky playing this one. He opens up to Neil about how much this music means to him, and Neil decides he likes the song. He keeps it.

33. Rocket Man - Elton John

Nicky loves Elton John. It's one of the artists he usually blasts on Sunday mornings in Columbia when they're all fighting hangovers. One morning he played this one and even got Aaron and Kevin singing along a bit (they were both still a bit drunk). Neil thinks back on that day and remembers it as a good one. Andrew looks back and remembers it as one of the more annoying ones.

60. Your Song - Elton John

Neil caught Nicky quietly singing this to Erik over video chat one morning in Columbia. For as boisterous and unapologetic as Nicky is (and for as much as he's always trying to get Neil and Andrew to act more like a "normal" couple with PDA and shit) it was a very vulnerable and private moment that Neil was a bit surprised by. He didn't walk in or make himself known, but he added the song to his playlist (and sometimes plays it on the car ride back from Columbia weekends for Nicky when he knows he's missing Erik).

Aaron

43. Up the Wolves - The Mountain Goats

Aaron has a lot of anger for someone who is only 5 feet tall. Neil may find him obnoxious as hell, and may deeply resent the way he holds that anger against Andrew. But I personally feel that an intrinsic and necessary step in repairing Aaron and Andrew's relationship comes with some sort of acknowledgement from Andrew that - regardless of what Tilda deserved, and regardless of what series of events unfolded upon her death - he hurt Aaron with what he did. He made a decision that Aaron did not ask him to make, nor did he want him to do it. And Aaron has every right to hold it against him. He doesn't need to regret doing it, but he needs to understand that doing it hurt Aaron deeply. I think it takes a long time for Andrew to reach this point, and when he does I don't think Neil really gets it at first.

However, I think once Neil has accepted and understood it as much as he can (he still struggles with his own mommy issues, okay?) he begins to understand Aaron much more. This song is a bit of an enigma in a lot of ways; I've never met someone who really fully gets what it's about exactly. Even the artists themselves have vague and changeable understandings of where it came from. But the clear theme of the song is anger and resentment, and carrying forward with those feelings. Maybe you'll let them go, maybe you'll act on them. Maybe you'll just keep feeling them for a while. Who knows when the hurt will go away? You're justified in your anger, but it doesn't make it any nicer to feel. Neil doesn't fully understand Aaron, but he starts to understand how he feels, at least.

62. Such Great Heights - The Postal Service

Listen. Neil doesn't willingly think of Aaron when he hears this song. It's a very nice song and he won't let that bastard ruin it for him.

Did he have a phase where he listened to it a lot to try and get himself to not associate it with Aaron? Absolutely. Did it work? Absolutely not.

In all seriousness, there are only a few songs that make Neil think of Aaron and this is one of them SOLELY because Aaron drunkenly mentioned it was his and Katelyn's song when it came on the radio one time. Something about hearing that and then listening to the sound felt very real and human to Neil. It helps remind him that Aaron does have feelings, actually, and does have it in him to care about other people. These are good things to keep in mind when he's trying really hard not to punch Aaron in the face for Andrew's sake.

Also it has a really nice sound. So he has begrudgingly added it to his playlist and he listens to it spitefully.

64. Wake Me Up - Avicii

Neil wouldn't believe Aaron listened to music this carefree and positive if he didn't witness it himself. He learns a bit more about Aaron every day they interact (against his will of course) and this is another song that helps him understand Aaron a bit better.

He has dreams and goals and he really wants to be happy. He wants to enjoy life. And it's really fucking hard to do that for anyone in their group. Neil seeing Aaron actually hold some amount of passion or desire for something better gives him a better view of the guy. Neil guesses everyone must need some amount of optimism once in a while.

Kevin

4. Amsterdam - Guster

So obviously Neil has never been through a breakup (well I actually hc that he and Andrew almost broke up after Andrew graduated, but they pulled their asses together and that’s a post for another time). But the thing is that Kevin absolutely has! And we all know how Kevin wallows when he’s upset. And Kevin Day is a Guster fan. You cannot take that away from me. So Kevin goes through a breakup and is blasting Guster in the dorm like no one else lives there.

Now Neil is pretty observant and analytical. I mean he had to be for years, so it’s kind of just in his nature now. Most breakup songs he hears are louder and angrier and predictable to him. Not in a bad way, but he expects that they’ll pretty much usually be either angry or sad in style, neither of which he tends to be very fond of. So he heard this one and it’s more upbeat tune without being overly loud or aggressive and I think that really intrigued him. It gets stuck in your head, but it’s the kind of breakup song that - even if you are going through a breakup - leaves you just feeling pretty good! Even if it is in a bitter way. So Neil’s brain just sort of latched onto this one and kept it close. It helps that it reminds him of Kevin in a way that is so intrinsically HUMAN. He can try to be an exy player before a person all he wants, but even Kevin experiences heartbreak and frustration. He's a whole person, too - just like Neil.

40. Still - Ben Folds

Yes, Nicky and Matt made him watch Over the Hedge. Yes, that is where he found this song. Yes, it still kind of makes him think about the sad turtle. Don't tell anyone.

Seriously, though, Neil latched onto this song initially for the smooth, sad sound. Then he listened to the lyrics. It really hits him once he's captain and he suddenly has all these added responsibilities piled onto him. He now has to appear respectable and put-together, and he doesn't have room for mistakes. It doesn't help that Kevin is reminding him of their deal with the Moriyamas at literally every turn, as if Neil doesn't KNOW the stakes and the pressure on him at any given moment.

But, oh, Kevin. Neil can roll with his punches with ease because, really now. Kevin is more terrified than he ever lets on anymore. "No room for weakness", but he hits himself with that reminder before taking it to Neil. He's stubborn and frustrating, and he can be downright cruel and unreasonable. But he's hurting himself with his scathing remarks long before they leave his lips to attack anyone else. Neil thinks about this, and he doesn't have it in him to be quite as angry anymore. He sees Kevin, and he know Kevin sees him too. He just doesn't know how else to provide support, and he isn't really in a good spot to be supporting anyone else at the moment anyway. Neil can only hope that, with time, Kevin can let himself feel safe the way Neil is learning to.

56. Dance Monkey - Tones and I

Neil heard this song and applied it immediately to Kevin. He's seen first hand now how much work it is for Kevin to maintain his image and career the way he does while balancing all the baggage that comes with it. The people in the audience who root for him the strongest are the same ones who rooted for Riko and the Ravens a while back. They're the same ones who thought he lost a brother the day his abuser died, who thought joining the foxes would be a huge gut punch to his career.

There's a lot that's expected of Kevin, and there's a lot of trauma he carries that people seem to think are memories he looks back on fondly. And that's a facade he has to keep up.

Neil sees this and he knows how hard it is for Kevin. He knows.

#aftg #my writing #neil josten #kevin day #nicky hemmick #aaron minyard

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little-writings · 5 years ago

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Jumin Week: Day 1 {Birthday}

Upon finding out that Jumin has never had a ‘proper’ birthday party, you’re determined to give him a celebration he’ll never forget.

Word Count: 3,333 (Wow! Didn’t mean for that!)

Howdy howdy! It’s been a hot minute but I’m glad to finally have something to give ya’ll again! A lot of life has been happening lately but there has still been writing in the works! Including this, haha! Anyhow, I hope you enjoy and have a marvelous day! <33

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Jumin could count on his fingers the number of birthdays he celebrated: his father’s, V’s, Elizabeth 3rd, the RFA, and of course, yours. Your birth-’day’ in fact, was more along the lines of a birth-’week’.

He had attempted to extend it to a month but for some unfathomable reason he couldn’t understand, you put your foot down. There was just too much about you to celebrate to fit into such a short time-span.

In days that now feel like centuries ago, Jumin once celebrated Rika’s birthday. He could still remember the grand tiered vanilla cake with her favorite color, yellow, painted along its edges in frosting. The way her face would glow and beam among the light of the candles-

Jumin didn’t want to think about that anymore.

In truth, despite all the birthdays he’d celebrated for others, he hardly had the faintest idea of what to do for himself.

Sure, as a child his father would go to extravagant extremes with parties and gifts but as Jumin grew older, the parties became dinners and the dinners became calls as life grew more elaborate and that much more hectic with the passing of every year. By now, Jumin associated his birthday with murky, restless nights with a bottle of wine that’d be empty before the sun rose.

But you weren’t in his life back then.

He’d first noticed the change with the words written on the calendar in your grand, curly lettering, taking up half of the sheet despite it only meant for a single day. The little heart you’d drawn beside the lettering bringing a gentle smirk to his face.

“Jumin’s Birthday!”

He absentmindedly fiddled with the ring on his finger, feeling the engravings rise and fall beneath his fingertips.

“Are you excited?”

Your voice snapped him from his thoughts, Jumin twisting around to see you standing on the tips of your toes, peering up at him with eyes as wide as saucers – anticipation brimming in every inch of you.

“For what?”

“For your birthday, silly!”

“Not particularly. But I think you might be.”

Your face fell in confusion. “Aren’t... aren’t you wanting to do anything?”

“Whatever you’d like to do love,” He bent down and pressed a kiss between your brows, undoing what would’ve been the forming knot.

“Jumin...” You wrinkled your nose. “It’s not about what I want. It’s your birthday!”

“Mmhm. And I already have everything I could ever want,” Jumin wrapped a tender palm around your cheek. You melted into the touch in spite of your frustration – you just couldn’t stay mad at him. “The best gift you could give me is your happiness.”

“Jumin...!” You took his hand in your own, clutching him like he was the only string still keeping you upright. “That’s so, so sweet – you're so, so sweet. But your birthday is for you! There has to be something you want!”

He bit the inside of his cheek and thought.

What was there that he couldn’t simply go out and get himself? Any material object one the earth was just that – a material object – perfectly obtainable if one had the means – and if anyone, Jumin most certainly did have those means.

“Didn’t you have parties as a kid?”

“I did.” Jumin nodded. “Granted, the only people were my father’s employees, my caretakers, and V.”

As the words slipped from his mouth, a faint realization of how much loneliness hounded his life before you stepped into it became that much more apparent. He squeezed your hand.

“Then that’s it!”

“I’m sorry?”

“We can have a birthday party for you!” You grinned so wide it was infectious. You always left him smiling like a lovesick fool -- something no one else could ever do. “I mean, you’re talking to the party planning professional!”

“Aren’t most of them supposed to be surprises?”

“Well -- just pretend you haven’t heard anything!” You snickered, biting the inside of your cheek. “Do you think you could do that for me?”

Jumin paused, thinking before an amused glint simmered to life in his eyes, peering down at you. “Pretend for what, love?”

“You’re just perfect,” Your delight poured out of your voice as you pressed a quick, adoring kiss to his lips that Jumin nearly instinctively leaned into. Had he not caught himself he could’ve stumbled over his feet in an effort to not part with you.

“I better start getting everything ready,” Your hands unraveled from Jumin’s and immediately began searching for a pen and paper, even resolving to scribble notes on your arm. His heart melted at the very sight of it. “Oh, I’m so excited!”

A bounce appeared in your step, only twisting back around to him as you disappeared with a pointing finger, bits of laughter seeping into your words.

Jumin swore he wasn’t a particularly cheery soul, but you kept proving him wrong more and more in that regard. Every single piece of the world was that much more precious and beautiful with you in it, and his smile grew wider.

“But you, you don’t know a thing! Don’t say a word!”

He mimicked the motion of a key turning in a lock, nodding. “My lips are sealed.”

You tried to disappear down the hall but you couldn’t quite bear to leave him just yet, rushing back to your husband to kiss him just once more.

“I love you,” You hummed, curling tangles of his hair between your fingers.

Jumin would never get tired of hearing those words from you. He wove his arms around you and pulled you close, rubbing delicate circles against your back. “How can I just let you go now?” He hummed beneath his breath. “Is there any way I could deter you from your incredibly secret plan that I know nothing about?”

“Jumin...”

Whatever resolve you’d grappled onto vanished the moment Jumin asked once more with a quiet ‘please’. How someone could withstand such a thing, you had no clue.

“Fine, fine,” You huffed, amusedly. “But just for a little bit!”

You didn’t begin your planning until the next day, but your heart was in the right place. That was what counted.

That next day, however, you hit the ground running. The days leading up to Jumin’s birthday were spent drowned in planning among texts, calls, and plenty of emails you’d become all too accustomed to.

The only thing left for Jumin’s birthday was the cake.

You’d assigned Jumin’s father, Mr. Han with the task of distracting Jumin that morning with father-son birthday activities. Mr. Han practically giddy to be a part of today’s festivities.

“You two have fun, alright?” You hung at the front door of the penthouse as Jumin greeted his father outside, the man already holding a gift for his son.

“You’ll be alright on your own?” Jumin asked. “Are you sure you can’t join us?”

“It’s only for a few hours. I’ll be alright.” You grinned. “Think you can handle each other?”

“Oh please, I only raised him! I think I can take care of him for an afternoon!” Mr. Han gave a warm expression, setting a fond hand on his son’s shoulder in spite of how he towered over Mr. Han.

“I believe we’ll be alright.”

“I’ll hold you to it!”

Did you give Mr. Han a playfully far-too-obvious wink? Yes, yes you did. He returned with a bright, eager smile and Jumin had to clear his throat to stifle his laughter.

This might’ve been the most unsurprising birthday surprise party you’d ever known.

But you’d do all within your power to make it the best.

Within the hour of Mr. Han and Jumin leaving, the RFA arrived in a mess of delighted chatter. Even V took time out of his schedule for the occasion, informing you in a nightly chat in which you had to quell a squeal of delight and in a rarity, you heard V laugh.

“Is the fur-ball put away?” Zen asked, nervously scanning the kitchen for any sight of Elizabeth 3rd. “I don’t want to sneeze all over your cake MC!”

“I left her in the bedroom. You’re safe.”

“For now!” 707 slammed his hands down on the actor, causing the man to erupt into an embarrassingly shrill shriek. Jahee being the one to calmly remove 707′s grip with a glare sharper than daggers.

“Please do not frighten Zen like that,” She stated, chillingly cold. “If his voice is strained, he may be unable to sing with his beautiful voice.”

“Jahee, do you ever hear yourself speak?” 707 giggled with a wrinkled nose. “Like, really?”

“Be nice!” You elbowed the hacker sharply. “We’re all here for a common cause!”

Zen raised his hand. “Because you asked us to...?”

Calming the storm, V stepped forward, greeting you with a kindly smile and warm glimmer in his eyes that seeped through his sunglasses. “For Jumin.”

“Exactly.” You nodded. “And we’re going to bake him the best birthday cake he’s ever had! Isn’t that right?”

“Yeah, yeah!” Yoosung jumped forward, a little notepad clasped in his grip. “I even went and found some recipes for him! I found a really good one! I know he’d like it MC!”

“What is it?”

“Mm!” The young man flipped through the pages, strands of blonde hair slipping from his hairclip -- his bangs finding a way no matter his efforts to flitter right back in front of his face. “It’s vanilla with buttercream frosting! You said that’s his favorite, right?”

“It sure is -- hasn’t changed since he was a child.” V mused. “We tried to make one once and nearly burnt down the kitchen.”

“Let’s not have that as our goal?” You folded your lips nervously. “We’ll just follow Yoosung’s recipe and everything will work out! He’s a great cook!”

“I don’t want to say Yoo-Yoo isn’t an amazing chef but-”

“We’re not listening to someone who lives off a diet of soda and chips,” Zen glanced back to 707 with raised brows. “Have you ever even seen a stove -- touched one?”

“No, this is my first time in a kitchen in fact~!” 707 gasped dramatically. “It’s magnificent!”

You and Yoosung exchanged a series of glances before letting out an exasperated sigh.

“Well, at least they’re willing to try!” You exclaimed. “I’m sure it’ll be okay as long as we work together.”

You were so optimistic then.

You felt like an absolute idiot now.

Luciel, given the simple task of greasing the pan, managed to cover half the kitchen in canola oil alongside a horrified Zen. Jahee fought with 707 and her own desire to wring his neck. Zen, on the other hand, was not above such impulses, and a fistful of flour was promptly thrown.

“I’ll get them under control, don’t worry!” Yoosung had said that half an hour ago, now he was smothered between the bickering trio, desperately trying to keep the eggs on the counter and not in anyone’s fist.

“Should I just order a cake at this point?” You asked V, taking in a sharp breath. “Is that what I have to do?”

“Two people are better than none,” V smiled softly. “We can still do this. It’s just a few steps. We can wrangle them together later.”

You stared up at him and nodded, taking in a deep breath. “You’re right. You’re right! We can do this!”

“Yes, we can. If we can handle Jumin, we can surely handle his cake.”

“He’s not difficult to handle.”

“Then if we can handle them.”

You glanced at the arguing group of the remaining RFA members, Jahee catching your gaze and stopping -- shuffling her feet in quiet embarrassment. The other three followed, Luciel leaning over the counter with flour plastered over his cheeks.

“S-Sorry,” He chuckled. “I ah -- I guess we got carried away! But we’re ready! We really want to make your ‘cat dad’ a good cake!”

Jahee pushed her glasses back up her nose, now spotted with white specks. “We... we won’t let anything distract us this time around.”

V simpered. “Are you positive about that?”

With a ‘yes’ spoken in unison, that familiar joy bubbled inside of you. The ends of your lips stretched from ear to ear and the tension in your shoulders slipped away easily.

“Then let’s get started!”

You parceled out responsibilities to each of them, and though it wasn’t absolutely perfect, it was wonderfully unique. You’d never seen anyone as passionate as frosting as you did Yoosung -- he’d shriek in outrage when 707 would scoop a dollop with his finger. Jahee and Zen monitored the cake in the oven and fretted like helicopter parents over the slightest details, oddly in sync as if they balanced out each other out in all their quirks.

707 proudly proclaimed the position of ‘cheerleader’, though you did insist he help decorate with Yoosung -- the two not sharing quite the same connection as Zen and Jahee -- more so a nagging pair in clusters of laughter despite their arguing.

However, you and V, you simply had a lovely time.

You whisked the ingredients together chattering quietly and occasionally humming little bits of songs until you couldn’t remember the music and simply scrambled to come up with your own. He told you stories of the past, and you told him of the present, melancholy washing over him.

“I know you’re busy...” You murmured. “But you’re practically family. I know it’d mean the world to him if you’d visit more often.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to. But... a part of me worries that this may be the best I can hope for.”

You didn’t have to give more than a frown to tell you needed a tad more information.

“I... I’m not quite the same as I used to be. I worry that I’ve changed so much I’m not the same person he knows. It’s just... so much has happened. I worry that if I try to fix anything I’ll just break what isn’t broken. I’m... I’m scared of that with everyone...”

“V...” You stopped him and set a gentle hand on his arm, the thin cardigan he always wore unable to shroud the faint bit of shaking. “That would never happen. The RFA is a family, we aren’t going to abandon each other -- we’re here for you no matter what. You just have to give us the chance to be there for you.”

You squeezed him sweetly and offered an encouraging, fond smile. “This is a good way to start.”

He paused. “You think so?”

“I don’t want to say I know so... but... I know so.”

“I suppose I can’t argue with that.”

You clicked your tongue playfully, flicking up the spoon from the bowl that sent more than few bits of mix scattering about -- much more than you’d like to admit. “Not with a professional like me, you can’t!”

“I don’t think I want to.”

From that point, V lightened. He allowed himself to enjoy all the mishaps and mess that came with the cake baking. The difficulty of the frosting with all its sloppy sides and how the frosting fell against the sides. The whole group practically held their breath each time a flower of frosting was painted.

But somehow, someway you all made it.

You all finished it with just enough time to decorate.

You raced around the house at lightning speed with confetti and ribbons, it hurt to think of cleaning it later. Balloons were sprawled about and Zen and 707 nearly lost their minds attempting to hang up the poster with ‘Happy Birthday Jumin’ printed in only the largest lettering possible.

You barely had time to catch your breath before the door creaked open.

Just as soon as you sat down, you all scrambled to your feet and only utterly failed at the task of ‘acting normal’.

Jumin and his father stepped inside, gawking a the explosion of color that’d gone off, glancing down from the poster to see you and the RFA, smiling like fools.

“Happy birthday Jumin!”

He followed suit, the usually so stoic man beaming from ear to ear. You raced to meet him and fell into his embrace, peppering his face in kisses. His bright, faint laughter perhaps the most beautiful thing you’d ever heard.

“I hope you like it!”

He squeezed you tight as one would with their greatest treasure -- it’d be a tragedy to ever let go.

“I love it. I truly, truly do.”

“This isn’t even it!”

“What all have you been doing while I’m gone?”

“Oh, you’ll see!” You stepped back, Jumin reluctant to let go. “We all worked really hard on it.”

707 groaned. “It was back-breaking labor!”

Zen pinched the bridge of his nose. “Maybe for the guy who sits in a chair all day!”

“Exactly! Thank you for being so understanding!”

V stepped forward beyond the small group, giving a gracious dip of his head. “Happy birthday Jumin.”

“I’m glad you were able to make it.” Jumin grinned. “I know how busy you can be -- especially as of late.”

“Yes... but I’m still here -- for you -- for everyone. I um -- I’m sorry I haven’t been able to show that lately.” V laughed weakly. “There’s not much of an excuse but-”

What would’ve become a bit of nervous ramblings was cut off as Jumin hurried to hug his dear old friend. V, like a strike of lightning, nearly jumped at the interaction.

How long had it been since someone showed him genuine care?

Eventually, though, V settled, returning the hug and glancing at you, fighting back laughter at the sight of a smug you mouthing ‘I told you so’.

“Now, I believe there’s something else for you to see.” V stepped back, gesturing to you. “MC?”

“Oh! Of course! Did you eat?”

“No.” Jumin smirked at your sigh in relief.

“Oh thank goodness!” You clapped your hands. “Then let me show you into the kitchen!”

Everyone flooded into the kitchen with anticipation in every step, even 707 proceedings to drum against the counters.

“Ta-da~! We baked a cake! It’s your favorite too -- vanilla with buttercream!” Your eyes widened like saucers, exhilarated. “Now, you have to know what comes next.”

Jumin grinned and raised a perplexed brow. “No, what is it?”

You lit the candles atop the cake and as though puzzle pieces snapping together, everyone understood what was coming.

“Well... we sing you a song!”

On the count of three, everyone began to sing that cheery, joyous ‘Happy Birthday’ song with an amount of cheesiness only you could come up with. As you sang, your hands intertwined with Jumin’s, your husband running his thumb over your knuckles.

“Now you’ve got to know what to do now, Mr. Moneybags.” Zen snorted. “Blow out the candles!”

And Jumin did just that.

Tangles of smoke floated up as he let out a puff of air, all of you bursting into cheers at least two of you reaching for the knife to begin cutting a slice.

You glanced at Jumin, snapping him away from his thoughts. “What did you wish for?”

“I thought you weren’t supposed to say what you wished for or it won’t come true.”

“I thought you didn’t believe in old wive’s tales.” You remarked, his other arm reaching for your waist, drawing you close.

“Well, I suppose this is too important to risk.”

“Could I get a hint...?”

“Perhaps,” He tipped his forehead against your own, glancing down at the wedding ring on your own finger like a blessing come to life.

“It involved you, and that makes it more precious than anything else.”

You didn’t need to ask anymore, your heart already swelled. “You know, it’s supposed to be your birthday, but you’re still ridiculously sweet. You can be a little spoiled!”

“I told you before, I have all I need,” Jumin smiled with such adoration it put the sun to shame in its warmth. “Because I have you, I have everything. All I could ever want is for you to stay.”

“You don’t have to worry about that. I’m not going anywhere.”

Jumin chuckled, pressing a kiss into your hair, speaking softly for only you to hear.

“Then I suppose my wish came true.”

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