samsoleil

[samsoleil]

Hey Kabel buddy, are you OK? Being Sam coded is about hot girl summer and drinking respect women juice.... Or so I thought

hi nonnie thank you for checking in!! I'm enjoying the added b. I'm actually doing pretty good at the moment, all things considered! so no real worries there

and not to get too serious about ess pea enn but imo part of being Sam coded is about the duality of being intimately familiar with. uh. thoughts that are not ideal. and still deciding every day that life is worth living, especially when it's hard. even in Sam's most depressed hot girl summers, he makes it through to come out the other side alive and kicking! okay maybe he dies a little but it's not his fault. you get my point here

[samsoleil]

supernatural writers were like. let's create the most interesting character in the history of media, develop him for ten years, and then neglect him for five because we can't be bothered writing his dialogue

[samsoleil]

re: benny and amelia for the 100th time because this is one of the most egregiously misunderstood arcs in the show

the reason dean is seemingly-hypocritically (actually hypocritical from sam’s POV, but perfectly consistent with the show’s internal logic) upset at sam for “abandoning [him] for a girl” while he is Shirking his own duties as a hunter and as sam’s partner to tend to benny’s needs as a vampire is because Brothers In Arms outranks Marriage Of Convenience With Woman, and because dean always outranks sam. like, people read dean and benny’s canon relationship as queer, and don’t get me wrong I enjoy viewing them through that lens as well, but as usual the original text is almost entirely built on misogynistic ideas and - for dean far more definitively than sam - military masculinity. dean was on the battlefield (purgatory with benny) while sam was playing house (recovering from burnout with fellow grieving widow amelia) so the deluge of scorn and resentment - far more canon-accurate descriptors of dean’s feelings about sam’s relationship with amelia than “jealousy” - that dean started unleashing on sam the very instant he Returned From The War to pull sam out of his fantasy world where the fight could be over for him, makes perfect sense.

and it feels like I’ve talked about sam’s perspective throughout s8 ad nauseam so I will just reiterate that dean had hammered The Hunter’s Guide To Good And Evil into sam’s own body back in s4-s6 so how exactly do you think sam would feel to know that dean had broken those rules for benny when he would never break them for sam, for whom any speck of “monstrosity” necessitated the extreme measures that would restore him to Sammy? granted I am imposing most of this onto a canon that deprioritizes sam’s perspective to honor dean’s, however even if you’re looking at just what the text tells you directly, it isn’t about “jealousy” for sam either; it’s about dean shutting him out as a result of sam’s “failures,” because dean has the power to do that to sam, but the reverse is not true.

[samsoleil]

Supernatural S7E04 Defending Your Life S8E21 The Great Escapist S12E04 American Nightmare

[samsoleil]

LMAO! Jake and Jared's brotherly banter!

[samsoleil]

make me choose: anonymous asked deanjo or samruby?

"On the bright side, I’ll be there with you. That little fallen angel on your shoulder."

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[samsoleil]

DEAN + “SAMMY” in SEASON 15

[samsoleil]

*flips table* [x]

[samsoleil]

save me characters doing fucked up things out of self-preservation…..characters doing fucked up things out of self-preservation save me………..

[samsoleil]

psa

[samsoleil]

the last couple of episodes of supernatural season 5 are fun bc sam is all "hey guys i'm probably not even 27 years old yet and i'm asking for your permission to let me kill myself and damn my soul to eternal torment trapped in hell forever so that the world can be saved" and instead of literally anybody making any comment on how that's, like, kinda noble, like, wow sam that's pretty benevolent of you nice work! or anything like that, his family is just like "okay wait are you sure you're not too stupid, evil and/or weak to actually do it correctly?" i just think that's fun

[samsoleil]

SUPERNATURAL, 11.06: OUR LITTLE WORLD

[samsoleil]

everyone always gets mad at sam for his reaction to john saying this and interprets it as sam joining in and taking pleasure about john being awful to dean but tbh I think it's more sam going "you always get defensive when I say dad treats us like crap, and here he is treating us like crap...makes you think"

[samsoleil]

dean breaking down crying on the phone to his dad in 1x09 asking desperately for help and then john doesn’t show up. like THAT is dean’s central experience with safety. he begs his father for help, the single person in his life who is supposed to take care of him, and his father does not come to the rescue. dean is not only afraid of being vulnerable because he’ll get hurt, he’s afraid of being vulnerable because he’ll be ignored. if his dad actually showed up after that phone call and yelled at him for not taking care of it himself, then like that sucks but it’s still attention from a parent. but dean is just ignored.

[samsoleil]

hear me out… sampunzel