#lot of these posts do talk abt this so again im not trying to call them out or something
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I've come to the realization that the reason I always get so wildly defensive whenever I encounter another "how to deal with maladaptive daydreaming" post, no matter how well-meaning, is probably bc my brain always and without fail interprets them as "Oh So You Have A Vaguely Unhealthy Coping Mechanism (That Is Also The Only Thing Keeping You Alive)? Here Are 10 Ways To Fix That"
and I know that's not the intention and that they are probably helpful to a lot of ppl but it's still a funny realization (in a sad way)
#needless to say. if u truly wanna get rid of madd#you first gotta create a life worth living#u first gotta solve the reason u have a need for a coping mechanism in the first place#lot of these posts do talk abt this so again im not trying to call them out or something#i just find it funny#madd#maladaptive daydreaming#maladaptive daydreaming disorder#actually madd#idk if this makes sense btw it made more sense in my head
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very freeing to actually own up (to myself) abt post-ph being an au. now i can make a little list of the little ways it deviates from leading to st
#i do not want to play st but i know vaguely enough to know where post ph deviates#rn its just tetra deciding not to find a new hyrule and linebeck being gay and unwilling and unable to have biological kids#with tetra ive been thinking kf her having a bit of a thing on realizing that she is technically what remains of hyrule#and it is ultimately up to her whether or not to let the kingdom remain a memory or to bring it back#and she eventually decides not to. try and erect a new kingdom in a world where people really dont even want that#like theres the whole thing abt the great sea being a dead zone or w/e and then theres fish in st. what is it#my hc for that is that the water around old hyrule is a dead zone but the further out the get the better things get#like the old kingdom is some blight under the seas and its not until its finally properly laid to rest does that dead zone fully disappear#look i know the gods fucking flooded hyrule but i honestly think its a biiiit much if they just gave the survivors a dead fucking ocean#that would likely lead to them just dying out with the only way out being to make the kingdom again#yknow the kingdom they fucking flooded. i feel like hyrule being re-established is fucking stupid and i think#mass-settling everyone on some landmass is a lot less interesting than everyone living one different islands and adjusting to this sea base#life. yknow? like i feel like theres a lot that can be done with islands with different geographies and cultures and populations#and also i think hyrule should stay gone i like the idea of the ww side of things being the one where the cycle ends#and so the world is free is from the cycle perpetuated by the kingdom’s existence and demise’s curse#i always think of demises curse as just being. as long as ur kingdom exists and whatnot there will be no peace#rather than a literal reincarnation cycle. its just. hyrule sucks and theres also a heros spirit thing#like theres a postal service and people are traveling and they have cultures and shit like. its not a hell situation#ppl are moving on and theres no kingdom to lord over all of them so they all have their own ways of life in their corners of the world#idk i think its interesting to think abt how the great sea world works and the different peoples and islands and how they go abt life#its more interesting to me than anyways yeah they are not free from the endless cycles of history and just make hyrule again#post-ph#salty talks#wanted to talk and didnt know what to talk abt so have a tag post#with a rlly tiny side of yeah post ph linebeck is sterile he got that shit removed bc he didnt want that there anyways#bottom surgery (or whatever its called its a hysterectomy) exists in the great sea. isnt there brain surgery mentioned#they got hrt in the great sea either its magic or its. idk potions. maybe the great sea era has decent medicine that seems to be the idea#tbh its not clear what happened to lead to st anyways i can just keep track of clear discrepancies#ill be honest im still iffy on the details with intersex linebeck and that. is an issue#i go with rn that he has ambiguous/female leaning genitals and had a malformed uterus and ovotestes that got removed
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Some Brute doodles plus a bonus Button
#keese draws#eternal gales#Ive been thinking abt them a lot lately#theyre my other quote unquote time looper#and those quotes are pretty damn big because its entirely within their own control brute just has time rewinding abilities basically#but they sort of did a self inflicted timeloop to try to save one of their friends (softie)#it was. a rough time.#and spoilers but it didnt end well softie in the current version of reality died as a child#the past timeline stuff is mostly nonexistent within eg proper but sprinkles and tali both get to remember some stuff so good for them#<- bad for them. they do not have a good time#butter (aka current brute) would have remembered if it wasnt for the hastag brain damage#I have a LOT of thoughts and feeling on past timeline stuff but thats either stuff Ive already talked abt or stuff Im too tired to explain#well I've already explained everything in this post before but shhhh I like to imagine newcomers will actually read this#but yeah brute is my beloved they absolutely suck ass at being a timelooper they have no imagination and little patience#two of their group spent the entire period of the loops repeatedly murdering eachother and brute Never found out#all because they were too honed in on like 3 staliens to even consider how weird it was that one or both of them would Always go missing#just sprinkles showing up bleeding out like yeah. looser went to a farm where he can run around and be happy. dont worry abt it.#brute isnt stupid but they are impatient and bad at emotional stuff which makes keeping track of everyones issues hard as hell#theres so much fucking drama going on in this gaggle of teens getting them to not murder eachother is a challenge that even the more#emotionally intelligent characters arouns wouldnt be able to solve without a great deal of struggle#so brute spends a huge deal of it all feeling incredibly lost and frustrated and this leads to them making some rash decisions that make#things get much worse for both them and those around them#their arc with how they view themself over the loops is one of my favorite things abt them#finding yourself only to kill yourself all over again for the sake of those around you and all that jazz#fun fact! butters name comes from back when they were brute!#they had been internally calling themself by that for so long that by the time the brain damage left that was the name that stuck with them#brute just never got to actually use the name fully in their version of reality for a wide variety of reasons#mostly the time loop but also because most of the others wouldnt take it seriously even when they tried#this was mostly because butter is well. a fully english word that doesnt have any stalien equivalent#brute just made some bullshit up to act as their language version of it
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saetoru is talking abt you on her private blog (@/clorindes) yuckkkkk
CW BULLYING, LITERALLY IMMATURE HIGH SCHOOL DRAMA, SUB POSTING.
hi nonnie, thank you for letting me know! since i’m leaving this blog & this platform for the foreseeable future i figured i might aswell get a few things off of my chest before i go. i apologise in advance for the vibes this post will probably bring, the discourse & the posts that will ofcourse follow, but i honestly i am not the first person to be targeted by this creator and i’m sure i won’t be the last considering the amount of creators that have been bullied off of this app by them.
first off i’ve had multiple blogs that would be considered bigger blogs such as @/hvnlydmn, @/atsymu + now this blog which is the biggest of all 3. i think there’s a sort of unspoken responsibility that comes with being a bigger blog which i know is no fun but it’s also because it can be super harmful on a site like this, when people weaponise their following.
on that note i’ll start this post by saying that i’ve known tee for probably around 3/4 years, maybe? we were mutuals on hvnlydmn & atsymu and we continued to talk on discord even when i was off of tumblr. i will honestly admit to this day i have never had a negative interaction with tee to my face and she was genuinely supportive of me during any discourse i was involved in. i am not some angel, i’ve had my fair share of crap on this app (of my own doing) but this post is not meant to come across like “oh she doesn’t like me so i’m calling her out” no. im sorry if this doesn’t line up with my brand and my ‘victim complex’ but i’m not gonna lie down and let someone on a power trip on a hobby app drag me through the mud.
first off i had began to get some off vibes from tee when i had started writing on garoujo, notably when i’d just hit my first milestone which was probably around 1k. during this i had decided to move my instagram theme from my main blog to my writing blog.
i’d noticed tee subposting (on main and on her personal blog which i followed at the time) about someone basically using the same theme as her, which after then clicking onto her blog i realised was an instagram theme. i didn’t think much of it, again me & tee were friends and she hadn’t came to me directly so ignored it. i was still a new blog and trying to solidly an aesthetic (before the beige lol) so i changed my theme / masterlists / layouts a lot.
a few more sub posts later i decided to message tee about it because with every thing i’d change / post on my blog, there always seemed to be another post. so i messaged her and got this response in: (i’ve blurred out my irl name btw) open up pics for convo!
so i let it slide, kept posting & that was that. probably a few days / a week later, tee had soft blocked me which then eventually led to me being hard blocked. i was upset ofcourse because i genuinely considered tee a good friend but i’ve always been a big advocate in controlling your space.
this was when, one of our mutuals in common (the first of many may i add) approached me on discord to say that just like now, i was being ripped to shreds on tee’s personal blog:
again i was notably upset about this because i was being accused of not only copying her theme but also her writing & masterlists, we did have a lot of mutuals in common so it was also upsetting knowing they would all be seeing these posts aswell. i allowed myself one sub post about “creating a narrative” because i was particularly frustrated but tee then also subposted about this, even though she had me blocked?
i would also like to say regarding our mutuals in common that this was not the first or last mutual to approach me regarding tee. i’ve had multiple people tell me that “they’re only mutuals with her because it would be more damaging not to be” “it’s easier to be on her side”. also i am not saying this is okay but i’ve had multiple of her current mutuals send me not only her posts, but screenshots of her private, personal instagram & also tell me about how all of them and their friends had a running joke / theory that tee made up her boyfriend (ex-boyfriend?) for attention.
regarding the accusations from tee i’d like to first comment on the instagram themes, again i had done an instagram theme on my main blog but it seemed to only be an issue when it was on my writing blog that was gaining traction. if the timing was off and it seemed like i copied her, i genuinely have nothing to say except it’s not the case— it’s instagram (which tee already admits she doesn’t own above) also the hanma writing? i’m still not 100% sure which drabbles she was referring to but i can only assume that 1. is when i posted a drabble about hanma fucking you outside of his subordinates house — this was a almost completely word by word rewrite of a suna drabble i done on my old blog @/atsymu i literally just changed the concept to fit tokyo revengers themes. i can post screenshots of this suna drabble also from my google docs dated February when i deactivated. the other one may have been some basic concept about him fucking you against the window.
she also mentions in the very first recent screenshot at the beginning of this post that i have apparently stolen concepts of fics / posts from her mutuals. what i want to say regarding this is, do you believe that i would have made it this far on stolen work? i don’t know any of the mutuals she’s referring to apart from 1 which i’ll get into. but every single accusation i’ve ever received has always come from someone associated or in contact with tee, she has always been at the root of it all but i have yet to receive a single anon or ask about me copying or taking inspiration from anyone’s work.
i know there was apparently a blog and an ex mutual of mine, who i had a lot of respect & time for who was under the impression i’d stolen their concept for this gojo fic. the whole premise of this fic is honestly not uncommon considering how many times people losing control of their techniques / powers / quirks during orgasm has been done in fanfiction. this concept was completely my own, i had originally posted shitposts about him losing control of his technique & also him putting you into a mating press / breeding before i’d decided to smoosh them together into a fic. we all read from the same workbook, we all have the same material to work off of — two people in a fanbase of THOUSANDS having a similar idea is not unheard of.
now onto the masterlist banners. the screenshot on the far left are the comparison photos that tee made herself— i’m sure you’ll be able to see them in better quality when she makes her own post about it; because obviously that’s going to come. first off i will say, i will admit i took inspiration from her official art masterlist banners — i thought hers looked good and i needed a masterlist so i used official art. fair game there although i only kept them for a few days before i changed again.
but onto the grey masterlist banners, i can honestly say i did not even know tee had this masterlist, also the only comparison i myself see is the colour. the only reason i chose grey was because i had started to use a grey / white overlay on my manga panels for my layout (as you can see far right), and as you know— i’ve always kept my colour scheme pretty consistent. on that note, regarding the actual layout of the masterlists— i’ve added screenshots from atsymu (that i could find due to it being deactivated) that shows the layout of my old masterlists, which was what i took inspiration from for my current. although the title font for each heading like headcanons is different, i had used the sort of old style, basic font that everyone uses before i had deactivated so it would match my fic headers i just don’t have photos obviously.
anyway on the back of this there was then discourse over me apparently copying tee’s kinktober masterlist, which again was not the case. but again due to tee’s following i had received multiple death threats into my asks the morning after i posted mine. as far as i was aware, the only similarities were the fact we both used gifs in our headers & the layout listing thirsts, hcs & fics (which is very common during kinktober but i admitted below i could see that similarity). unfortunately during all of this discourse was when ffflowers, my hate blog also came into the mix which then lead to tee reaching out to me in dm’s from her old blog.
the interaction between me & tee was pretty good, again she was nothing but nice to me directly despite the way she obviously spoke about me in private above. but as you can see below, tee herself told me that basically most of the similarities all made above were brushed off as basic. we spoke about the ig themes & i apologised, saying i could understand where she was coming from and that was that. i unblocked her & she unblocked me so i could reblog her post, it’s been that way since.
it is not my place to comment on other people’s experiences on this app but i would need more than 2 hands to list the amount of people that i’m sure have had similar if not worse experiences with tee. i know i have had multiple mutuals who have been bullied off of this platform & had their safe space ripped from them for little things such as: liking a character that this group selfship with, tee and her friends not liking their characterisation. they’ve even went as far as to go through other larger creators notes to check for minors so they can make excuses as to why they’re thriving.
i also know of a blog who was ‘blacklisted’ from tee & her mutuals as they self shipped with arataki itto at the time, one of tee’s friends also did, so they blacklisted this creator and had all of their mutuals block them for this which then in turn drove this creator off the app. there has been other notably bitchy things that i’ve heard but i have no receipts for therefore i don’t see any relevance in starting rumours.
i would also like to say i know plagiarism is a horrible thing, we have all been through it— myself included but it’s got to the point where being accused of copying tee has become a canon event. notably, bigger platforms have been ruined and driven off of this app for little things such as mdni dividers, similar colours schemes etc. and it’s the reason i’m also leaving.
i will say i have met some amazing people through my discourse with tee, notably people who have been in similar situations and i also apologise to any mutuals who we still have in common who are now sort of stuck inbetween. no hard feelings. although to tee: id be careful of the people you trust because it seems the loyalties they have to you are not as sincere as you may believe. you can also go to her personal & read the other things she was saying about me like how she was always so ? at how many people seemed to like me.
so that’s all i have to say, i’m sure dash will get a few responses from this but i’ll be logging out & turning off asks because honestly? couldnt care less. the only thing i’d change about my experience on this app would be i wish i’d blocked tee sooner.
i’d say have a nice day, but instead, have the day you deserve.
— emmie :)
#i apologise in advance to my mutuals & the innocents#i probably had more to say but yk i was rambling atp#anyways see u guys 🖤 love most of u !
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i saw on some of your posts that you say you aren’t an india truther, out of curiosity what do you think caused john and paul to have a fallout? do you think the resentment was more gradual and happened over 68-69? im sorry if you’ve answered this before but i love hearing about people’s theories of what happened in india and the aftermath.
sorry I totally forgot to answer this but for me.... hm. tossing under a readmore bc it got long oops
I think it was more gradual. like the way they act w each other in the get back sessions & just in general speaks more to something more unspoken happening than some big dramatic break up or rejection, at least to me. esp given how john & yoko lived with paul for a while in the summer of 68 (and talk about the world's worst throuple)
I wouldn't say I don't think Anything happened in india, but imo it seems more like.... I saw someone talking about how up until that point they were all on a lot of drugs & india was them getting off them for a minute & they sort of looked around and went "what the fuck are we doing? do I even know these people?" and that rings the most true to me I think.
some of the bigger reasons I have my doubts abt india being some huge thing where they fucked for the first time and paul rejected john are a) they still got along after that. things were weird but not much weirder than they'd been after brian's death b) paul wrote "i will" in india and I've talked before about how I'm 100% convinced that's about john and to me "will I wait a lonely lifetime, if you want me to I will" doesn't sound like the words of someone about to do any rejecting c) the infamous blowing the mic scene in get back is way too lighthearted and makes paul blush and giggle like they're just referencing fucking as a part of their relationship that happened enough to not be disarming. doesn't seem like john is being bitter or trying to egg him on and paul isn't reacting like someone that got called out for fucking john and then rejecting him. it reads more, to me, like just two lovers slyly joking around about a time they fucked that no one else can know about
which brings me to d) I'm also a "they had a sexual relationship" truther (which would be a whole other essay tbh) and so For Me Personally that just doesn't jive w smth big and dramatic happening in india. I just don't think they ever talked about what the fuck was going on between them, whatever it was, and then the typical band breakdown reasons coincided w a breakdown of their personal relationship as well. like just sort of dying out without much fanfare which can honestly be worse than some big rejection or breakup. and then ofc john goes full in with yoko and paul flounders around trying to settle down with a woman and marry her in such a weirdly frantic way. like that quote where he asks if he was supposed to be a 26 year old queer that never got married....... I would wager, imo, that things breaking down w john & then jane would've lead him to a bit of a Crisis about all that. but he found linda and went all in w her and she wound up pregnant so there you go.
which would lead them to a really weird place by the get back sessions, which I at least feel like is reflected pretty well- this awkward tension, paul's nervous desperation, nostalgia for the old times, lingering sexual tension. but not the attitude like they hated each other yet or had some big breakup or rejection. they're still joking and flirting, it's just awkward. the Big Moment would've been something else after that imo, probably john announcing he wanted a divorce but could've also been something more private that would go a long way to explaining why they were basically not on speaking terms at all by the abbey road sessions
again this is all Purely Speculation. mostly based on my more conflicting view from the fandom at large that they did have a sexual relationship and paul isn't as repressed/clueless as he puts on. so w those Two Beliefs in mind, this is sort of the trajectory that would make the most sense to me!
of course, without those two Core McLennon beliefs of mine I can see why people would point to india as the game changer if they think paul is a repressed bisexual who thinks he's straight while john pined over him. like it would make sense in that scenario if that's where the tension snapped & it was just a mess after that. but I very firmly and adamantly don't believe that so it's just hard for me to see the india theory as anything solid when there's a lot of other explanations for why india was such a shitshow
but all that is just me personally! don't have shit to back it up beyond what I can bring up about the evidence of a sexual relationship and paul being closeted that then lead me to these speculations based on that but yeah lmao
(and fun fact lmao whenever we publish it this is gonna be like half of the story of "i need you" so yall will get to see my fully baked opinion there mixed w just what I think would be fun or angsty dbshsjss)
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greasers when they’re sick
i myself have been deathly ill for the past week so whilst i am bedridden i’m writing this🤡🙆♀️🤩 ANYWAYS LETS GO
ponyboy:
hates missing school solely cause my guy despises talking to teachers abt what he missed
also cause he thinks he gets super behind when guy just skipped one day of school😭
probably holes himself up in his and sodas room and when soda comes in to check on him after work it’s like PITCH black and pony is just sitting in a pile of tissues
”what do YOU want?” says pony with a voice similar to kermit the frog cause bros nose is SO stuffed up
and soda just assumes pony is in one of his moody, poetry reciting moods again and slowly exits the room, leaving only a baloney sandwich in his wake💀🤡😭
johnny:
def the type to not accept help
like he would go to school sick and the second someone brings up how his voice is screwed up he’s like 😐”what’re you sayin bout me?”
if the gang does quarantine him to a room he’d def just be able to entertain himself and prob come up with his own secret language and fictional multiverse or smth
idk he just gives the type to be fully okay with being alone for a bit but the meds he’s on make him all wacky too so it’s an interesting mix for sure
sodapop:
i’m sorry this guy has the most nastiest cough 😭
idc if he doesn’t smoke a lot he just got those mucusy coughs
other than that everyone’s having a good time, making jokes and feeling good and then soda pauses his laughter and unleashes the most rattley cough and then everyone just goes quiet and he just looks like 😃
definitely unfazed by sickness in general
until one day my guy just has the worst time and breaks downnnn🥰
we’ve all been there too esp when you’re sick and shit just goes downhill and everything sucks and you hate everything and everyone
darry:
now johnny doesn’t accept help but that’s NOTHING compared to darry
he has peak older-sibling syndrome and is just used to only helping other people
so when those people that he takes care of flip the script, my guy is just weirded outtt
like he def appreciates two trying to make him soup but he just doesn’t know how to react
goes lowk crazy with not being able to work or straighten up the house just cause he always feels like he’s gotta do SOMETHING productive with his time
dally:
i’m sorry but guy is def the type to go to school FULLY sick and either not say a word about it or complain like a lil bitch the whole time
also he totally smokes while he has a cough like soda which is so unhealthy i can’t even😭
just overall his habits and life doesn’t get upended by “some fuckass cold” (his words, not mine)
like bro please you just gotta rest sometimes😭
the gang is able to get him to stay at the curtis’ couch one day and bro just WIPES OUT
istg he’s out for like 15 hours straight in the full daytime and everyone is scared to walk past in case they wake him up
but dally is a crazy heavy sleeper so he actually gets a lot better after calming down for once🥰
two-bit:
honestly stays home from school like a normal person
except bro gets one cold and then just doesn’t show up to school for like two weeks😭
and it’s not cause he’s a wimp it’s just cause guy finds an excuse to skip out for a so called “vacation” and he rolls with it
and then he’ll just spawn back in on campus like a month later like nothing happened and everyone just expected two to take a dare too far and end up in the hospital🤡
steve:
CANT STOP WONT STOP
bro just pushes thru the pain😭
he probably takes way too much of the recommended dose of general meds (don’t do this please🧍♀️)
and then goes all loopy for hours straight
and people are kinda sus about it but honestly it’s steve so who is really all that surprised
LMAO THAT SOUNDS MEAN SORRY STEVE
ANYWAYSSSS i think imma post a romantic kinda sick reader x greaser thing so that’ll hopefully come out soon while im still coughing my lungs out🫶
#the outsiders#dallas winston#ponyboy curtis#johnny cade#darry curtis#the outsiders sodapop#steve randle#two bit mathews#matt dillon#sodapop curtis
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2 years and over 40k posts and I'm only making a pinned post now
TALK TO ME!!! i love talking even if im awkward
also pls tag me in things
i can't fit everything in my bio so here we go
my names are kia, kyrie, neptune, and jack and i use he/it pronouns. friends can call me mafuyu (or yuki etc) as well. I'm dogkin. i have a pronouns page if you want more info
we're plural. the others used to have their own blogs but now they js post here
my dc is averagemafuyukinnie
I'm taken!! idm flirting jokingly just dont do it srsly. ill probably yap abt my gf a ton
I'm a minor so don't be weird please!!! adults can interact tho it's fine. again just don't be creepy
I'm from italy and i speak italian, english, some french, and I'm trying to learn spanish
i mainly post about project sekai, but I'm also in other fandoms such as:
in stars and time (I'm still on act 2 so no spoilers)
needy streamer overload
bocchi the rock
toilet bound hanako-kun (rereading the manga rn)
assassination classroom
doki doki literature club
pokemon (kinda)
sk8 the infinity
vocal synths (vocaloid, utau, etc)
alien stage
dandadan
and probably more i forgot
some of my all time fav characters/ships are:
saki tenma
kasane teto
mafuyu asahina
ena shinonome
miu takagi
leo/need
niigo
ryo yamada
kikuri hiroi
kangel/ame
siffrin
till
hyuna
momo ayase
harusaki
ruinene
mafuena
mizurui
shihomiu
ichikanahona
sakian
sakiena
ivantill
mizisua
probably more
bolded ones are hyperfixations/all time faves
i also have a couple f/os but im not telling
non fandom related interests:
dogs
birds
animals in general actually
music
guitar + bass guitar
idk i forgot. i like a lot of things
i also draw sometimes!!! you can find my drawings in the #kyrie art tag
i run @sakitenma-everyday as well as a few rp blogs: @hinomori-shihofficial @junior-high-mizuki-official @werewolf-enanan @transfem-saki-official @miu-takagi-official @honahona-ln @sup3rn0v4-mmj @mafurs @poketrainer-yuki. i also have an agere blog
if you need me to tag anything feel free to ask, i tag with "#tw [thing]". if i forget to tw anything feel free to remind me. I won't tag caps or swearing bc i use them a lot
for me, please tag emetophobia, graphic gore, graphic sh and animal death. ny catchall tag is '#neptune look away' but the normal tags are ok too
while i do my best to use tone tags when necessary, I'd prefer them being used as little as possible when talking to me (or just dont use them at all)
dni if you're lgbtq+ phobic in anyway (especially terfs fuck off), sh/ed blogs, pedos/zoos, zionists, pusu supporters, anti-endos, and if you think transandrophobia isn't real
do not drag me into any kind of discourse
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This picture of kori in the last post is sending me
She looks so silly dkkskskdkd.
Speaking of kori (also hey I had an mc called cori that's cool!) when do her and cove get together? Is it in the step 2 epilogue with the confession or during the charity confession?
Also unrelated to Kori but what do you mind going more into depth on your thoughts for both Derek and Baxter dlcs? I love discussions around their dlcs I wish people would genuinely talk more about itz going into depth into the themes of the dlcs and how they affect Derek and Baxter as characters, but then again I'm someone who loves analyzing the media they consume so djdkdkjd. General discussions about these things drive me crazy (I think is worth mentioning that I'm autistic so djdkdk)
Your art is also very lovely I loved watching your doodles, you're one of the artists I always look forward to to get a notification from 🫶
THATS ALOT OF QUESTIONS YOU GOT THERE BUDDY,,,,
Im kidding tho it's appreciated nonetheless ^_^
SO FIRST OF ALL THANKS FOR LIKING MY ART 🥹🥹🥹 i try my best to make time for drawing my silly our life doodles despite being busy in college and i appreciate anyone who rlly enjoys my dumb doodles of my ol mc shenanigans
Answering the confession question, they confess at the end of step 3 cause i thought the slowburn was fun 😇
I actually drew their first kiss right here
Now with the derek and baxter dlc question,,,
So fun fact! With how i played the the dlcs over all me and my friend Lo (@/oiulse) would choose which boy to play the dlc and stream it on call, so Lo picked Baxter and i took Derek, it was really funny cause casual constantly played in our heads during the Baxter dlc (bless lo btw for gifting me both dlcs labyu oomf 🫰)
With how i feel with BOTH dlcs
For my boy Derek Suarez
When i played the first moment from dereks dlc my voice started like acting up from how long THAT specific moment was, maybe its just me but the first moment in particular felt really long, I get it though its the first time ur meeting the suarez family and in no way did i NOT enjoy it, but there were indeed moments where im like DAMN ITS STILL NOT OVER cause of how tired my voice was getting LMFAO, all the other moments were rlly fun my favorite one from the dlc was where u hang out with liz on daddy day and there was an option to gift a card to cliff 🥹, his step 4 was also a bunch of fun i loved the family bonding get to do with the suarez brothers (u can just tell that i love family aus) and getting to hang out with derek made me love him more as a chr, HIS STEP 4 VOICE IS STILL A JUMPSCARE TO ME FROM HOW DRASTICALLY DIFFERENT IT IS (no hate to the va btw) STILL VERY FUNNY THOUGH HAHAHA, i made it so that Derek, kori and cove get to be neighbors before the both of them get married so now they hang out LOTS
With THE Baxter FUCKING Alexander Ward
I heard from another friend that the baxter's dlc was gonna be angsty and i was like oh hell fuckin yeah i love angst! AND THERE CERTAINLY WAS ANGST ILL TELL U THAT MUCH, since i was watching lo play through the Baxter dlc i will admit there were a few times where i spaced out cause ANOTHER fun fact, we played the dlcs like really late on my timezone so i was either drawing while Lo was playing or i was in the brink of conking the fuck out, i was able to know what was going on overall i think the ONLY moment i like fully spaced out on was when the mc and baxter were like out drinking or smth and there was this entire thing with the bartender and the singer, that specific scene in particular i was fully focusing on smth else and it wasnt till later that when i played the baxter dlc for myself that i knew what was finally going on, since me and lo have our castaways au to think abt while playing these dlcs we were building aus upon aus of what lo's mc would do when meeting with baxter again after 5 years its fun lo has never been the same since and neither have i, the angst was good soup and i can see why baxter's dlc was more expensive than derek's LMFAO
But ironically enough the dlc that made me cry was DEREKS DLC,,, that moment on the step 4 epilogue with the brothers having a heart to heart is going to be MY ROMAN EMPIRE, I FUCKING LOVE FAMILIES BRO GAUGHHHH
Anyways sorry that was unnecessarily long i could have organized my thoughts more but i dont have the patience for that so i hope u dont mind that all my thoughts and feelings were all over the place hahaha
In conclusion the dlcs was a nice content buffet 👍
#THAT WAS ALOT SORRY#olba#our life#our life: beginnings & always#olba mc#cove holden#olba cove#olba derek#olba baxter ward#olba baxter#derek suarez#baxter ward#baxter#kori askbox#ask box
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Can you do a Larry Johnson X reader with ADHD, Fluff story
(A bit more info abt me: I have style my hair in an Afro with bangs just above my eyebrow which is dyed black, I’m black but with light skin, I curse a lot and I’m usually seen as loud or childish, and I’m an ENTP)
And can it be in a setting where we go out to an arcade or smth?
Please and tysm!!
Arcade Date!
Larry Johnson x Adhd!reader
Im so so sorry for how long this took! Tumblr keeps eating my posts and I didn’t realise this one had been eaten too until today ;-; this should’ve been posted months ago </3
Anyways! Technical issues aside! Hope you enjoy!
“Fuck yeahh!! Beat that score Larry!”
“You’ve gotta be cheating! There's no way you beat my score! Sal! You’re with me right? Y/n’s cheatin!”
Said blue haired male looks at the two lovers hunched over the game as he sips on a slushy.
He doesn’t know why he’s here. He knew you guys were going on a date, he just had to make sure you two behave and don’t kill anyone. He now regrets his decision.
“Uh.. soooo… Im gonna go over here”
“Hey- Sal! Get back here, don't walk away! You gotta help me beat y/n and their freakish hyperfocus!” Larry calls after his best friend before turning to face you, who was still clicking away at the game, unblinking.
“No fair! I didn’t know you hyperfixated on this game recently! You have ADHD superpowers!”
You chuckle
“Actually, I told you about it last week- Yeah! Beat the score again!”
Larry groans as he grabs your hand and drags you away from the machine.
“Alright! Next game! This time I’m gonna beat your ass!”
“Oh yeah? Not if I beat your ass first! I’m a pro gamer, you don’t stand a fucking chance!” You proclaim loudly, causing a startled mother to cover her child's ears and glare at you for your use of profanities.
“Oops.. sorry” You give a little apology wave as Larry laughs at you
You punch his arm lightly before making your way to a claw machine.
“Come on man these things are rigged!” Larry protests as you fish out your coins from your pocket.
“What, are you that bad at a silly game?” You tease him as you insert the coin.
You try your hardest to grab a little alien plush in the middle, but even when you grab it, it drops as soon as the claw lifts it into the air.
You groan
“This thing is so rigged!” Larry laughs at you again.
“Told you dude! Let me try” Larry lightly pushes you away to try win the alien plush.
After way too many attempts, and lots of money spent on the claw machine, Larry manages to hook the claw on the tag of the alien.
You both gasp and you grab Larry’s arm as the claw moves to the slot in the corner, waiting with held breaths.
When the alien drops in the prize box you both scream and start jumping while pushing each other back and forth, earning you some strange looks from people nearby.
“Yes! You did it!” You laugh
“That I did. I believe you owe me an apology” Larry grins at you
“Ugh, fine. Maybe you’re not as crappy at games as I thought.”
Satisfied, Larry grabs out the alien and looks at you before handing it over.
“For you, milady” He dramatically bows while putting on a silly accent.
You laugh “You’re so cliche”
He stands up straight and smiles as he pulls you into him for a hug.
You both freeze as you hear a camera shutter.
“Nice, can’t wait to show this to the rest of the gang.”
You turn around to see Sal standing there with his phone, pointing it at the two of you.
“Sal! You prick! Give me that phone!”
“Dammit Sal! Get back here!”
You and Larry proceed to chase a laughing Sal around the arcade before the three of you are told to leave by the employees.
“This is why I can’t let you two go anywhere unsupervised.” Sal tuts
“Excuse you! If you hadn’t taken that photo, we wouldn’t have been kicked out!” Larry nods his head at your statement
“I have no idea what you're talking about.”
“Sal don’t gaslight us!”
Cue you and Larry yet again chasing Sal back to the apartments.
Little did you know, Sal posted the photo, and a video of you two chasing him to a group chat with the gang.
Sally Face: *1 photo and 1 video* Yeah, they’re definitely made for each other.
I hope you enjoyed it!
-Strawberry🍓
Masterlist
Rules
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I have been bingereading your stories, and have to ask - how do you create so wonderfully??
What is your secret?
hi!!!! first, thank u so much :’) i dont have much posted rn but im working on more that will hopefully be out soon ,,, this time just gets busy with spending it with family and work and what not 😭
so thank u for your support & message :’) it rlly means a lot especially after taking a long hiatus from writing🥲🥲
second — honestly my inspiration behind plots & storylines mainly stem from a mix of media i consume & real life scenarios i come across. for example, the matchmatic 3000 was based off of a tiktok i saw about a matchmaking service & also, for valentines day, my university did a matchmaking survey to match single ppl up LOL so i thought it’d be funny to create a concept like that!! the art & science of parenting 101 was inspired by a highschool class i took (it was called independent living) that had us literally bring home robot babies for a week LOL (i failed the project actually bc apparently my robot baby died within the first few days and i had no idea but we dont talk abt that💀💀) i have two fics im working on rn and one of them is loosely inspired by the kdrama backstreet rookie and the other is literally based off of a dream sequence i had abt jake one night a few years ago LMAOO so yeaaa my ideas come from literally everything and anything,,, i think i just put myself in such delusional mindsets and try to visualize it as best as i can on paper haha. and i guess as for my actual writing style, i LOVE LOVE crack humor, rom-coms, breaking-the-fourth-wall type of humor (think like Glee humor mixed with dry gen Z crack) so that’s what i try to follow when writing if that makes any sense.
i honestly just try to have fun with it and thoroughly enjoy it as i write, i think that’s the biggest factor for me :) sorry for the yap sesh omg i didnt realize i said so much
but again tytyyyy <33333
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status of babbit's life yeehaw
tl,dr: busy moving and a couple of other big life things that just complicate things, but well on the way to being back to normal! new fic chapters and better quality art coming soon.
tl,wr (too long, will read):
Helloooo what's up its me, Babbit. or Rabbit. or Bones. or Idiot Moron Menace Child, idk im not picky lol
i know a lot of you guys have been wondering wtf is up with my upload schedule lately and the extreme lack of even basic content and also i am extremely aware that i have not updated my fics in a few millennia and for that i am very, very sorry. this post is to answer a few questions you might have, if anyone was curious about the 'reason' instead of just the 'when.'
my family and i have had a hell of a year, y'all. like, jesus christ, i really hope things level out and calm down for a while once we're moved in to our new apartment bc god damn we are so tired. the list goes: 1. we got kicked out of the house we were renting-to-own bc we wouldn't be able to afford the new rate, so they gave us two months to find a new place to live (not long enough, it turns out) and then foreclosed to get us out. 75% of our belongings were still in the house when we had to leave. that includes all of our christmas ornaments- including the ones kept for decades, and the ones made by me and my siblings, and the fancy ones made from blown glass. 2. the first night out of the house, one of our dogs, freaked out by the strangeness of the situation, panicked and slipped her harness and ran off. that was over a year ago. we haven't seen her since. 3. my cat got very ill and became unable to eat. she passed away almost exactly a year ago. she had been 14-15, and had been my baby since i was maybe 8. 4. one of the tires on my dads car blew out. during the night, while it was parked on the curb so he could put the spare on in the morning, one of the in-tact tires was fucking stolen LMAO 5. we applied to rent at so many places and got rejected so, so many times. it costs money to apply, btw. we're talking like $200+. no, u don't get that money back. 6. i lost my job bc knowing i would have to work 8 hours at a job that stresses me out to the point of exhaustion (at a place where no one takes me seriously and would actively laugh at me when i try to express my need to step away for a minute) sometimes paralyzed me and made me sick to my stomach and made me feel unable to leave the house, and i called out one too many times. a day after my birthday, too! 7. just recently, like within the last week, my dad's car got fuckin totalled!!!!!
THE GOOD NEWS IS WE OFFICIALLY, FINALLY, AFTER A SOLID YEAR, HAVE AN APARTMENT!!!!! I'LL HAVE MY OWN ROOM AGAIN!!! THERE'S AN ENTIRE KITCHEN!!!!!!!
the 'oh god' news is we still have to move in, and replace a lot of the stuff that we just couldn't take with us when we moved out (mostly stuff like bookshelves, dining table, dressers, etc) AND get the few things we could cram into a storage center out and moved into the new place, which isn't a lot but at the same time is more than we can realistically handle on our own. and then, we have to get my mums cats (a pair of kitty sisters that we had to temporarily house with my aunt, who got tired of looking after them and let them outside to be outdoor cats a few months ago. yes, this was an extremely shitty thing to do, and we've been working hard to get them back safely) AND my gecko (who my cousin has been looking after, even tho feeding him worms freaks him out LMAO yes i plan on compensating him) moved in, as well... basically oh my god there is so much to worry about but at the same time it's nice to have to worry about it bc it means we're making progress sdkfhsjdkfhdsjfh
basically i am just so tired but so busy and also thinkin abt so much im so sorry for lack of stuff but i am so looking forward to being able to bounce back, pls stick with me, it'll be sorted out soon i think and then i'll hit y'all with some good stuff i promise!!!!!!!
anyway thank u guys i love u and appreciate u all for sticking around
#bones of a rabbit#rambles#life update#lore of a babbit#babbit lore#personal stuff#vent#rant#in case anyone was curious#long post#tldr#tw death#tw grief#tw pet death
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hihiii okay idk if you want a yap sesh in your askbox so PLEASE feel free to delete but roshambo hyperfixation is insane and i take every chance i can get to yap but . your post about how easily ro gets lonely made me jump up and down i was going to find smth you wrote to be like wow this was so right but the entire thing was so right i SCREAMED but . okay. im very big on personality types but im trying to avoid using any confusing enneagram-exclusive language but ro has always been the epitome of an enneagram 5 (specifically a sx/so 5w4) to me . copying this directly from the enneagram universe website but "Fives are alert, insightful, and curious. They are able to concentrate and focus on developing complex ideas and skills. Independent, innovative, and inventive, they can also become preoccupied with their thoughts and imaginary constructs. They become detached, yet high-strung and intense. They typically have problems with eccentricity, nihilism, and isolation." fives a lot of the time are very mental types which makes them especially hard to read at times since it doesn't matter what they want to do, it matters if they have the confidence to want to actually do it. i think with ro confidence is a big part of what he chooses to do, which is why he sticks by people who he's confident he knows (mapicc) . one thing I've noticed with ro is that he almost . grows into himself based off of how other people receive him which is why i think he's a sx5. again stealing a quote from the personality database bc wording is my greatest enemy but "Ichazo called the SX5 'Confidence' a need for someone to feel safe with, a person of refuge[1], an excessive demand for trust and to be able to trust and love" . sx5's are also often more intense than other 5s, and have a tendency to want to be more emotional than the typically reversed way 5s are portrayed . okay i am so sorry if this makes no sense im writing it in a daze of random confidence and a want to talk about this .... again feel free to delete and throw rocks at me if i got anything wrong okay tytyty
OKAY IM FINALLY ANSWERING THIS, i am so sorry it took me so long bc i am VERY happy to hear u yap i just keep forgetting to reply 😭😭😭 but tysm for sending this, i appreciate it a lot 🛐
i am actually actively listening to the song from the sleeping at last written abt 5s as i answer so i can Immerse myself AND YOU ARE SO RIGHT!!!
everytjing ur saying makes perfect sense dw like after watching bacons stream last night . rewatching zams castle buildimh stream where ro built the fuckass strip club . and then comparing it to how he acts in large groups and like one on ones w people he isnt as familiar w like jumper and rek, there IS a difference in how he behaves and interacts w certain people. he seems more withdrawn and almost more reserved/tame in larger groups and when interacting w people he doesnt typically interact w, whereas he is. like That w people he already knows he trusts and understand what hes like.
and like to me the difference boils down to how he seems to feel most confident and much more open in certain ways w mapicc and zam specifically. they are like.....of everyone in the server they know him the best and he knows they know what to expect from him. just like he knows what to expect from them which is def part of why no matter what hes just always the most openly "himself" w them.
it isnt that he dislikes the others or doesnt feel comfortable at all w everyone else in the server, he just seems to have a set few people who he feels more comfortable expressing himself in a more open way w. for better and for worse LOL.
#lifesteal#asks#roshambogames#i love ur ro analysis amd gen appreciate u sending me this LOL#i feel bad for taking so lomg to reply ;-;#dualities and drastics my beloved#im also hyperfixating on ro so we are shaking hands
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how did it take me so long to start calling myself aromantic/arospec. like now that ive actually started using the term for myself its so crazy to me that i wasnt using this term since the first time i heard about it. i literally remember like almost a year ago being like "i wish i could just call myself aromantic itd just be a way easier way to explain to people the sort of relationships i want since im interested in sex and really close friendships but not really interested in traditional romantic relationships right now" like my brother you CAN?? jesus fuck. like this thought came aftera series of relationships where i would tell my friends that i had a crush on someone, then the relationship progressed in someway, then i got the sense that the person i was interested in had romantic feelings for me and id get this weird horrible feeling and would run away. and i was literally like "what is this whats going on". i was like woah this must be like.... commitment issues or something. like i was going around telling people that. i was getting over commitment issues that were surely temporary. but they werent asking me to commit to anything they just had feelings for me that i couldnt reciprocate bcz i was just attracted to them and wanted to me friends with them and i thought thats what romantic attraction was. i literally remember telling someone abt someone i liked an they were like "why dont u ask them out?" an my answer was just that i was trying to find reasons not to and i couldnt. cuz i was attracted to them and liked spending time with them and liked being their friend but i was so so happy not being in a romantic relationship anymore and i couldnt shake the feeling that if i got into another one even with the perfect person it was literally gonna ruin my life and i would have to pretend to have feelings that i didnt have.
idk im frustrated that i hadnt considered it sooner but its also kinda exciting to discover something abt urself an ur sexuality. like this label brings me the same joy that other labels that ive discovered fit me do like i feel like how i felt when i came to terms w being trans an being bisexual. i feel like im 13 again finding trans and bisexual youtubers and being like "??? there are others?" like ppl dont talk abut it as much w being aro and ace bcz those are defined by the absence of a feeling rather than the presence of one but it really can be just as exciting to find out that you're aro or ace as it can be to discover that you're a lesbian or gay or transgender or something.
like not to be cheesy but discovering that i could just. have friends and also have sex made everything kinda click in my head for me. like literally i felt like a more complete person. experiencing that and realizing like. oh. this is amazing this is literally all i want like nothing is missing. i literally just dont have to do romance stuff like no ones making me do that why did i think i have to do that. like oh my god this is such a good feeling i really can do whatever i want forever.
this post doesnt rly have a point exactly i just kinda have a lot of feelings to get out. i love you aromantic ppl i love being aromantic it fucking rules actually. every aromantic person whos posted abt their experience an helped me get comfortable w the label i owe u a hundred billion dollars jesus christ i love you guys
#i need to. find more aromantic ppl i need to cook for u guys or give u guys money or something#i owe openly aromantic ppl so much i gotta get out there#im so excited to go to a bigger city an visit/volunteer at their lgbtqia center i Really Really wanna meet some aro ppl in person#i love my local one but it is quite small#maybe my expectations r too high. idk. the idea of meeting other aromantic ppl jus kinda makes my brain start buzzing#also aro ppl interact plz ill follow u guys#aro#aromantic#arospec#aromantism#aromaticism#?#i cant spell
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What ships do you do not like?
Im saving Huskerdust for last. I have way too much shit to say.
Aside from weird illegal ones and also disgusting ones, I am a very big Sir Pentious x Cherri Bomb disliker. It couldve been good but theres like no chemistry and Cherri doesn’t seem to actually like Pentious for any reasons other than he kissed her and then exploded and also weird double penis joke. Said it before, I’ll say it again, Cherri does not need a boyfriend she needs character development. If you’re interested in more of my hatred I have this rant abt it here
Valentino x Vox is another that I hate. I feel like I don’t need to explain why but I will anyway. I know they’re technically not canon anymore, but idk how I’m supposed to enjoy a ship between two characters when one is Valentino and also knowing that it was previously canon that Valentino has shattered Vox’s screen multiple times. Honestly you can’t even be like “well the voxtagram posts arent canon anymore so he’s not abusing vox” because you’re like objectively wrong. In the first couple shots we see of Vox and Valentino together Vox has an entire glass thrown at his head. Very important detail, he nonchalantly dodges it implying that while we know this is a common occurrence for Valentino to have violent breakdowns, it is also a common occurrence for Valentino to throw things at him or try to injure him in some way. Not to mention he seems very unsurprised when Valentino takes his phone and breaks that as well. Vox is also forced to walk on eggshells around this guy with how he talks to him. There’s literally no way for it to be healthy at all.
While I love the concept of Charlie and Vaggies relationship, it’s entirely brought down by Vivzies inability to write women and her lack of care for wlw relationships. There’s a lot of good rants about this, but I have so little substance to mention on these two it’s kind of hard to talk on. Vaggie doesn’t have much character development and Charlie is just incompetent all the time in the canon show and the only interesting stuff we got was from episode 7 (very good episode btw)
Any Alastor ship ever. End.
I do not like Huskerdust a lot of the time. I don’t enjoy how the fandom does it a lot of the time because they don’t really consider the others boundaries and just are like “well they like each other now so they should kiss!” And I disagree with that very hard. For how it is in the show, the best i've seen is the little bit in episode 8 which I really do enjoy but obviously there was no build up to it really so I hardly have much to grasp and I have to do everything myself. Relationships take a long time. That goes hand in hand with my rewrite also. Angel has harassed Husk and other people multiple times and that’s not okay obviously but for some reason no one acknowledges that?? The first step of them ever getting together or even being friends for that matter is Angel apologising. I will be mentioning my fuckass rewrite again just as an example of what I’d do, so I apologise! Everything from this chunk till the end is about how my friend and I have tried to fix this dumb relationship. It’d take him a little to mention it, but for how I’ve done it with my friend he ends up going out to dinner with Husk after rewritten episode 4 events and after getting texts from Valentino he starts reflecting on how bad Valentino and other people objectifying makes him feel and has that “..shit im doing that to other people.” And they have a little talk about it where Angel apologises for acting that way and tells Husk to call him out if he started doing it again on accident.
And it's not a quick fix conversation either, they aren’t magically best friends now and they don’t suddenly start being lovey with each other, Angel doesn’t even list Husk as a friend yet in his mind and has a bit where he only lists two people as his friends. There’s also bits of rewriting where Angel is yelling at Husk and ends up getting upset to the point he indirectly hurts Husk by throwing a wine bottle at him and Husk steps on the glass while he’s walking out. They talk it out again and Angel has another small crisis about potentially starting a cycle of abuse because his own trauma is shaping how violently he reacts to minor situations. Both of them need to work on themselves before they do anything. Especially Angel when he’s developed a habit of snapping and has a mindset that he needs to physically fight any potential threat away from him and it's leading him to actually hurt people. While that isn’t the sole reason he's in hell he's still in hell he is an objectively bad person and Husk has his own problems too especially when dealing with Angel specifically, both of them have an issue of pushing blame off themselves or shaming the other in overly stressful situations even if they don’t mean to. Husk has a tendency to shame Angel for his coping mechanisms and even if he's well intentioned with his criticism he gives it in a very uncaring and harsh way and will sometimes default to saying “I didn’t actually care in the first place” even if he does. They currently are not ready to be in a relationship together by any means, but fights help them reflect on themselves and of course at least Angel is at the hotel to be a better person. Charlie talks to him often and shows him it’s okay to confide in other people but that he doesn’t need to tell someone everything and that he can keep things to himself, and then the help from Charlie leads to Angel apologising again and trying to do the same for Husk like listening to him talk about his own issues and then giving input on them or just casual banter and so on. Both of them desperately need to work on themselves and they’re trying to do it together and I think when they're ready they’ll probably the best matches for each other, but you can’t just skip over the issues, the issues are the entire point of growing, that's why they are at the hotel.
#hazbin hotel#raimble#hazbin critical#hazbin hotel criticism#hazbin hotel critical#cherri bomb x sir pentious#valentino x vox#angel dust x husk#voxval#staticmoth#huskerdust#cherrisnake#anti vivziepop#tw valentino#cw valentino#tw abuse#cw abuse
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episode 110 spoilers
just like, random thoughts and stuff, mostly bits that i remembered
i sat down to write this i forgot everything oh my god--
in chip's flashback. the black rose pirates following the king to the big sakura tree, and arlin holding baby chip's hand. this. the cutest shit ever, i think i almost cried at the image of this big badass group of pirates and this itty bitty child led gently by his hand. even if i didn't cry before i sure will right now, baby chip you're so dear to me...
QUEEN! they didn't remember anything aughhhhh 😭😭😭😭 and their and chip's little talk about how they're going to put the pieces together :( and their hug :(
whatever drey, finn and earl are doing on the ship... like, what? hello? glad they're having fun tho lol. also wait hold on a second. how did drey answer the call? i mean, probably with his leg or something, if i had to guess. or maybe finn held it up for him. not sure if finn is at it enough to be able to answer the shell by himself, so earl and drey are the only ones who can actually use it. and seing how earl is in a... predicament. hm.
jay saying that when she looks at gillion she sees family. AUGHHHHHHHHHH AUGH AUGH OUGH jay ferin i love you. and this is so important to me not only because like hell yes they're more than friends they're a family, but also for jay of all people, considering her relationship with her blood tied family and how complicated her relationship with this word is.
also girl please do something about your leg, im begging you. the bone is visible, this shit is not going to heal up by itself. i dont know how you're still limping around this must hurt so bad. i guess adrenalin maybe, but still. at least get some bandages or something, i don't know... what is it with jay and her legs actually. she fell off a roof in edison kingdom and landed on a piece of metal that fucked up her leg, and now this.
oh my god niklaus, how could i forget about my babygirl. i mean, what can i say i love this guy. i dont know how many times ive relistened to his intro song, but definitely more than i should've... um. there was a lot of big important lore that i don't have the brain capacity to process rn.... i want to say that niki is the nameless prince and/or the thing trapped in the hole in the sea. because he can only interact with one person at a time by inviting them to his pocket dimension (even with jay it was said that the time around her stopped while she was talking with niklaus), implying that niki is trapped somewhere and this is the only constricted way he can interact with the world. and to answer chip's questions he said he wants freedom more than anything, again implying that right now he doesn't have this freedom. which makes sense, right? but then, the big bad thing was supposedly trapped thousands of years ago (i think?), but niklaus was a world famous pirate lord not so long ago and not trapped anywhere, so.....? idk im probably missing something. can't for the life of me find the moment where they read the nameless prince book so like, whatever.
that moment where jay talked to chip about how she thinks its all her fault and she should've just gave up her arm and leg. and how chip reassures her....... them 🥺🤲 kind of inspired by that post abt chip and jay i reblogged earlier, but these two talking about their emotions and feelings is so dear to me. just, being human with each other and opening up. gill is great ofc, but i feel like for these two its much easier to talk to each other to feel understood and heard. i love them.....
chip is still very much dead and probably won't be resurrected any time soon, so... hooray new undead chip design! but also oh my god my poor boy... forever 19... (also charlie and condi being surprised that chip is only 19. yeah </3) my poor guy my poor baby, he sounds so beaten and depressed in the beginning of the episode, its just breaking my heart qwq...
star and zamia <333 hehe
chip trying to marry igneous. lol. darling chill out, you just got out of one unsuccessful marriage and it didn't teach you anything, you're dead, you're only 19, you've known this guy for like, 2 days? don't get me wrong, godspeed to chip, but cmon man take him out to dinner first or something
and uhhh. the end, that's all i got
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thinking about therapy again bc i knowww i need to be in it. but i think one of my inarguable needs in a therapist is that they see me as an equal? i guess is the best way to put it. and thats not really something you can Ask it's more of a vibes based thing. but like. i hate playing stupid with doctors psychiatrists therapists etc i want to be like This is what im experiencing These are the resources ive looked into This is what i think is going on. where do we go from here. and like i know a fair amount about psychology and i dont want to have to pretend i dont. or for them to assume i dont. and like id look into peer support and stuff but i feel like thats more short term and less intensive than id need to unpack my childhood stuff. Oh i completely forgot to post and also finish typing this. anyway idk like what are even the chances of finding a provider in my area, who takes my insurance and is willing to work with me abt the copay, whose main modality isnt cbt, whos experienced in cptsd/dissociative disorders, and also who i click with as a person. idk. it feels completely hopeless lol and i know its not but like. maybe im fine rn like maybe i dont even need therapy really (least fine guy youve ever met voice)
but the other problem is i also need like, a social worker who isnt school-related and extremely overworked (god bless her tho omg) bc i need a lot of help getting like, case management and applying for disability etc. and just normal therapy isnt gonna help me when i also need those things. but i feel like most long term therapists arent also social workers and vice versa
and i dont even know what modality would be helpful for me. i know dbt WAS when i was younger, but now i know like. the basics, ive learned the coping skills etc. so idk if it would still be helpful? and i know like, somatic focused therapy or whatever would probably be helpful, because actually understanding what my body was doing and why and how that effects my mental health has been really helpful in the past. but also i feel like a lot of somatic therapists are... whats a nice way to say this. like a lot of the ppl ive seen either on like psychologytoday etc or on instagram reels are. the type of guy to buy dreamcatchers on shein and use cherrypicked parts of other cultures without understanding their cultural context. and, like, try to cure my dissociative disorder with reiki or something. Sorry im thinking abt the therapist i had in early 2020 now
idk i just dont really know what to look into even. bc ive heard good stuff from a friend abt emdr but im skeptical of emdr like, casually. like i havent tried it and i dont know a huge amount about it, but on the surface it kinda sounds like bullshit- yeah just look between these lights and think about stuff and thatll fix you. but i also understand how repetitive movement can be calming (#autism) and it makes sense that being exposed to those memories and also in a safe place would be helpful? and i like that u dont have to talk abt the traumas in depth out loud. but i also feel like thats more for single-event traumas or at least trauma that u like, remember
and i feel like being able to talk out loud abt stuff would help me. like having another person to bounce my thoughts off of whos not like. a friend. and is able to deal w that kind of thing. and is also paid to do so. And can also help me like. recognize when im being insane. but also Wont assume im being insane and that all my thoughts are fucking cognitive distortions
idk its just exhausting trying to figure out What i even want from therapy other than to Feel Better and stop losing entire months of my life sometimes and to be able to like. make phone calls and talk to people and not feel evil and insane all the time. and to be able to live away from my parents and have a life, whether that involves Employment or not. one of my short-term goals in therapy w a long term therapist would explicitly be to decide my long term goals and how i'll know i met them. bc i think talking abt the therapeutic relationship w my therapist up front is something that would benefit me. due to the avoidance.
idk. wgat everrrr.
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