#lost writing motivation honestly
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hi loves, i'm really so sorry to everyone who sent in a request long back and hasn't gotten any update from me. i’ve been so busy w my studies, and even when i do come on tumblr, i just read and leave.
i’ll see if i can get to some of your requests while i’m here (till end of june most likely?)
thank you for understanding.
#─ fall’s rambles . . . 🍂#I CHANGED MY THEME BTW‼️‼️#lost writing motivation honestly#nothing comes out when i try to write new fics#but i'll try my best to get out the writers block lolz#thank u for being patient w me#i love this blog and i’ll try to keep it alive
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controversial opinion, but i don’t care if you like my fic and don’t reblog it. i don’t care if you read and don’t leave a comment. do i like seeing and getting those things? absolutely yes, I love them. I love attention. but once a fic is posted, it is completely out of my hands how people respond to it. i don’t want to tie myself into knots over “engagement”, and i don’t like guilt tripping or asking that people give me something in return for posting a fic. i’ve written it, i want to share it with you. that’s my contribution and what i really want are genuine reactions and people taking it in good faith, which means that sometimes nobody has anything to say. and that’s okay.
anyway you never have to reblog my stuff. you never have to comment. you can lurk forever and say nothing to me and i will just be happy to know that your eyes were on it, because that’s why i post. i’m going to keep writing regardless
#.txt#I’ve lost my filter due to being unmitigatedly insane and having slept for maybe 3 hours#and i get that this is way easier said than done but i do not like who i am when i worry about stats and responses. I much prefer writing#what I want and honestly I know that some of my best writing on ao3 has the fewest kudos and some of my worst has the most. it’s completely#different because I know what’s good and what I’m happy with and if you write just for external motivation you will burn out and be sad.#because I did. it happened to me. I love the attention and talking and making friends but that’s not the main reason I write
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I see a lot of people have made covers of the snippet of Everybody's Waiting (the new JO track)
I may do it too but at the same time I am hesitant given that I am 90% sure they won't see it (since everything else I'd ever made have never been noticed by them - Bojan's big share yesterday included) and if by chance it is getting seen I am not sure how I'd feel having the first thing noticed by them be just another cover
I am probably overthinking things again
#so here's the t in the tags (aka me ranting)#I have not felt great about my art or my contribution to the joker out and käärijä fandom recently#I have honestly felt like an art block is coming#the few things I have been able to create just doesn't feel good to me#and I don't get the same satisfaction of sharing it either#Ik I should be grateful for whatever faves and views it gets but I cannot help but feel underappreciated#which in turn doesn't make me feel motivated to make more#the last few days I have actually been more drawn to playing my guitar and writing songs than creating artwork#so that is what I've been doing#in that regard creating a little cover would maybe be fun#and yet I fear I'd fall into the same trap as with the art#that now I might make something to share with the fandom it has stakes#and in the end the stakes will be too high since I cannot help but compare what I make#and so I will lose interest in making music as well#honestly I feel kind of lost#I have had days I just stop working for half an hour to several hours#falling down an unproductive rabbit hole where I just stare out into the blue or at a youtube video#I don't want to be here#I want to love what I do and love sharing it with you again#but after a pretty productive and somewhat decent january#I now feel meh about it all#thank you for reading my tag novel#I will go now#micahs thoughts#micahs foolery
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I think I'd rather snap my own neck than apply to another job.
#I'm gonna keep doing it but I've lost all the motivation and stubbornness to keep going#These places do not communicate fuck me even bothering to reach out after submitting the applications#I've had a singular interview and a bait and switch for an interview#These jobs only speak when they're rejecting you and it's not even them iy's an automated response#I honestly might see if I can start rationing my insulin and sell a box or two if I can't get anything#ranting#Stressing the fuck out but I'll be writing soon
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the results of that "is fanfic a book" poll have shown me one thing and its that this site never graduated past that absolutely insufferable phase in 2013 where everyone acted like every book is the single most sacred thing on earth
#sorry rant incoming. you know like the people who got way too offended over dog earing or carving books for art or things like that?#that's what the notes section of that poll feel like. just way too many people (on both sides) putting way too much importance on Books.#like first you have the 'um ive read fanfic that was deep and beautiful and thematic so yes all fanfic is books' votes#which like. ok. ive also read really deep thematic screenplays but that doesnt make it a book its simply not. what a book is#then you have the honestly even worse 'um your reylo au isn't like the works of the masters its not REAL BOOKS' crowd#which like. yeah most actual published books are not as good as the 'works of the masters' whatever that means. so you have proven nothing#which brings us back to the absolute worst of all 'colleen hoover & co aren't books either' SOMEHOW#like. ok well i think her work is pretty bad but it was literally edited and published into literal books so#if you're going to decide that you get to be the arbiter of what books are Good Enough to count as Real Books well you've lost already.#because no that's not how any of this works. youre fighting one of the most famous Losing Battles in all of art discourse.#a book is just. a format that writing can be in its not some holy status you have to work to acheive#and to try and turn it into that is really stupid and self important i think because like again#who gets to decide what books are Real? what motivates them to make that choice? what biases are benefited from that?#i think its worth noting in conversations like this everyone wants to deny female romance authors the title of Real Book#(which yes a lot of those books are very shallow or badly written. many have outright offensive tropes)#but nobody mentions the equally shallow and offensive stuff by/for men. like william johnstone's shitty cowboy books for example.#no matter how you try to frame it youre going to lose the second you decide something has to fit your standards to be real art.#avpost#its very reminiscent for me of the conversation around modern art where people just want to say they know what is and isn't real art#based on like whatever standards they want. 'ugh its just dots it's not real art'. do u see where im coming from.#a book is just. a piece of writing that was edited and published in the form of a physical book. that's it. its a v literal if vague noun.#it can be something with a lot of depth and meaning. it can be shallow and hacky. it can be nonfiction entirely. its not a value statement#which can also be said about art as a whole some of it is very shallow and bad. some of it is extremely skilled and profound#anyway. no fanfic isn't inherently books but some fanfics have undergone editing & publishing and became books i think#and that doesnt mean that they're 'as good as' the classics by really skilled writers. but theyre still books#tbh a lot of the published fanfic books are worse than most nonbook fanfic. them being books isnt a statement of being more valuable.#its just a literal fact.#i think its interesting to discuss but i swear its not a huge deal whether fanfic is books the bigger deal to me is#the weird attitude popping up on both sides. which i think most people would also find stupid if their brains hadnt been like#totally ruined by an uninterrupted 5 years of insufferable-on-all-sides fanfic discourse that has ruled this website.
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Also, an update for my Nightmare Before Christmas readers-
I promised to publish a rewrite of the Tokyopop comic series, Mirror Moon, but haven’t delivered on that. I wrote down some notes on how I’d like that story to go, and even started writing an introduction for its first chapter, but haven’t touched it since. I don’t know if I will continue with that project, since there is now another TNBC comic in the works(The Battle for Pumpkin King), and what I had in mind for my rewrite was a little...big. So, that story would require a lot of free time and constant motivation.. If I happen to have that in the future, I’ll tackle it! But for now, I have no plans on working on that project for awhile.
I have also promised another sequel in my line of TNBC works, to follow after Our Nightmare. THIS I definitely plan on writing, but, again -- when I have the time. I’ve been working on another story for a different fandom in the meantime, so when that one is done, I’ll look into properly plotting out my next Jack x Sally story in my series.
Since it’s been so long, I’ll tell you all what it’ll be about: Jack and Sally’s children. (Obviously.) I’ve never actually made proper OCs for their kids, so it will take some time to create and develop them, then longer to actually write the story. I’ll also be acknowledging a bit of my canon divergence in this particular fic, to circle back to the movie. It’ll be interesting. I also want to write all the family/domestic fluff I can of Jack/Sally and the kids -- so I promise to deliver on all that!
As for the Jack X Sally requests/prompts, I quickly lost motivation for them. I may have to scrap it for the time being. I’ve still kept all the prompts I’ve gotten, so if/when I ever want to write them, I have them! But don’t expect any new additions for that one, until I have the motivation....I apologize. :( It’s likely I’ll get in the mood, come September-ish, and the season is right. I might post something then.
Thank you all for the patience, and here’s hoping I can write...something...soon! Ahaha.
#update#writing for tnbc is a little hard since fics dont get much traction until the halloween season#kind of like the situation w fanart honestly#and so i dont want to publish something and get little following/feedback#i do not write for those things believe me but i had to end Our Nightmare because my feedback dropped considerably and it really deterred m#im afraid of that happening again#and i want to write another full fledged story with many chapters#so i want the timing to be more right if you know what i mean?#i would also love to make a story about lock shock and barrel since i had to cut it short with them in our nightmare#there's a lot of potential and things i want to dig into with them#and maybe a mirrorverse fic would be cool to do too#but ive no motivation to do any of these for now#i have many Ideas but life has been hard and its probably why i lost so much inspiration#my life will soon settle down again so hoping i pick up something at the end of the year#<:)
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Becoming obsessed with a new show is so insane like I'm not even finished with S1 of LR but here I am sitting with a 17,200+ word outline of a fic that isn't even half conceptualized along with five other +2,500 word outlines that also aren't half conceptualized and about 25+ fic ideas jotted down in my notes. I'm feeling completely normal about Lab Rats 🫶
#and ngl I feel nervous to even potentially share these some day if I even continue writing#I say that because I wrote a few pics for my other fandom but then I just lost motivation to write when I became less obsessed with the sho#but I'm not even knee deep into LR and now I have all these fic ideas so I'm hoping my motivation won't fail me now#not to mention almost all of these pics involve a somewhat obscure character *cough cough* look at url *cough cough* that from what-#I've seen the fandom feels iffy about that character so it's honestly just me writing fanfics for myself if I think about it tbh#but I love angst and he has such good angst potential and yeah he's not well written and is honestly a comedic relief character in a way#but I have notes on him and think he's an interesting concept and he could have been so much more (and better written in S3 & 4)#oh yeah I have a lot ideas for art stuff too it's just that I need to practice more before I feel comfortable enough to put stuff on here#anyways if anyone read my tags here's a gold star for reading my crazed thoughts ⭐️#personal
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welp i did it guys... i finished writing the first issue of mtmte kajskwks i hope u guys will enjoy it enough to want more chapters B)) in the mean time, im gonna go snooze bc it is 5 a.m. and i am exhausted <33 PAHAH
#i have no idea if im gonna have the motivation to finish writing the entire thing#it would surely be a VERY big project for me ajsjjsjs#but honestly#so far i'd be happy to do so#or to at least try ^^#mtmte#idw transformers#transformers#lost light#tf
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it’s 12:43am and i haven’t written a single word for this paper that has to be five pages and turned in by 10am…. will she do it… who knows
#i’ve lost all motivation for college#i’ve been losing it for the last two years but my god#it’s just going straight downhill from here#(honestly what i’m afraid of the most is that i’m gonna work till 7am writing this shit and she’s gonna give me a D again and i-#i can’t handle that shit rn. that shit might break me (or my parents) fr. )
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Master post (my pinned post) has been updated for anyone who uses it :)
#random rambles#honestly the main reason I hadn't updated it aside from lack of motivation was because I didn't think people were really looking at it lol#also note that updated doesn't mean I'm done HA I lost motivation again#I put stories on there with like... actual titles and summaries and stuff#haven't put all my snippets there because I'd need the ocarina of time to repeat three day cycles about eighty times#that way I would have adequate hours in the day to post all of it there#just use the writing tag for those LOL I write a ton
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wow when i think about it maybe this year wasn't that bad
#i mean yes it was one of the worst definitely i kept falling down and down and down and i def hit rock bottom#highest weight of my life 'pcod' 'pre diabetes' ugh that was the worst#and the generally not studying#but but but. im going to list all the good things because it made me feel so weirdly happy that wow this happened to me#let's go chronologically#1. pretty awesome birthday got a gift from my then bestf which made me feel so seen and so understood#for the first time in life to the extent that i couldn't believe that paying attention to me and loving me so much was even possible#2. discovered i def like guys too and him writing on a tissue to me hbd and me giving him that letter which was almost like a love letter#that was so brave and vulnerable of me i can't believe i did that im proud of myself#3. learning thru an admittedly bad experience that there is no timeline for life and experiences and i definitely do not need#to have like sex and stuff to be cool and fit in its okay to wait for the right person it doesn't make me a loser#because at the end of the day i have to live with it i can sleep with someone just because i hate the feeling of being 21 and feeling#like im behind everyone but then that would be disrespectful to myself and i deserve better#4. that brief period of 15 days when i was almost friends with this girl from office and even tho she left i still remember resting my head#on her shoulders and feeling safe after so long#5. getting drunk with my bestie that was pretty awesome i shouldn't say this but it was such a good year for us cause she broke up with her#bf so whenever we met we would just play music and dance to sabrina#6. getting drunk with my SISTER and clubbing with her fuck that was pretty awesome i love her and i love her guy friend and i really hope#he succeeds in pata ing her and he becomes my future jiju#7. passinv this exam. i honestly didn't think i had it in me to get this degree and it's still hard to believe but i do feel motivated to#try now. i worked hard i sincerely studied which i hadn't done in like 2 years and it really feels like god#said yeah beta you take this win and keep getting better okay?#so much bad happened too ive now lost everyone except my family and my one irl bestf but i still feel hopeful. i hope it will be ok 2025
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day 20: 2062 words
total: 43796 words
it’s definitely getter harder to keep up this writing pace, but only ten days left!
#about me#novel november#your november novel#also lost some motivation posting a chapter#honestly i dont think it went over to well#😅 but i expected that so that one is on me#points to self in the mirror#you write for You 🫵#whatever#definitely going ro hold off from posting until december i am not strong enough haha
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Just to answer a question that keeps being asked!
There's no fic yet!! Sorry! We had planned this as being a bit of a one-off drawing based on a concept that popped into our head, or potentially doing this with a few more doodles, but now we're trying to write... something, for it.
I don't know when it'll be ready or how long it'll be, the plot is quite complicated to plan out ^^' But we're trying!!
Just a normal Coffee Shop AU!
Reblogs are appreciated!
-
"You wouldn't happen to have a 'Michael Afton' working here, darling?" the animatronic chirps from the other side of the counter. He leans forward, stooping his head to match your own height. His white eyes seem to glow.
You swallow, and a hand clutching at your trousers leads you to believe you just might know who he's talking about. Mike Schmidt hides as best he can behind the counter, shivering with a fear you've never seen the likes of before.
You've been quiet a beat too long before you open your mouth.
"No," you tell the animatronic. His smile seems to widen. "I don't know anyone by that name."
#gonna write a little more before bed#and we have 4 pages of sketches / doodles set out#reblog#karmas clown moments#i dont even know if people will see this but ;u; we're trying i promise!#the interest in this is. not something we expected honestly#it was just something we wanted to play with for fun#actually trying to turn the ideas we had into a semi-believable story is proving quite difficult in#a really fun way. but also somewhat stressful ;u;#since we don't currently have work again for another few weeks we should have the time to do something though#realised we lost so much motivation because of our work ^^'
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((OOC: I am very happy that Jon dying is still being talked about months later. I had a real impact on the rotomblr community, and it's great to see.))
#ooc post#dash commentary#high stakes pokeblogging#((OOC: Sorry I haven't posted in so long. I was going to do an event where things changed for the better#but things happened the person working with me dropped out and I completely lost motivation))#((OOC: Honestly thinking about abandoning this blog since I can't get back in the swing of things with the whole event happening offscreen#but I also don't have the motivation to write the whole fanfiction that would explain what happened))
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To call my note taking/researching method chaotic would be an understatement (see attached photo). In other news, I’m polishing up a short story that I recently wrote in honor of moving across the country for college. Joyous days.
#writing process#chaotic writing#I spent 2 hours on this alone#and by the time I was done I mostly lost motivation#but we ball#honestly this is half the fun#bc I can put personality in my notes#know what I mean?#writing
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hate sex w nanami
a/n: uhhhh heres that hate sex fic i promised two months ago :D my bad yall i got really busy and lost all motivation to keep writing on here, but i'm back now :)
cw: female reader, wrote this with black reader in mind but no mention of specific race, NOT PROOFREAD, no use of y/n, cunnilingus, overstimulation, cum swallowing, brat tamer nanami, brat reader, im very horny, that should be me honestly
"fuck, what are we doing?" you ask as you and nanami kiss feverishly. he climbs up onto his desk with you, laying you down onto your back roughly.
"don't know," he growls, his hand coming up to cup your jaw as he kisses his way down to your neck. your eyes widen as he bites you, and you feel your knees go weak when he pushes his thigh against your throbbing core while sucking your neck at the same time.
"i thought you couldn't stand me," you moan, rutting yourself against him, to which he groans at. he reaches down and tugs your pants off, your legs kicking them away.
"i can't," he answers, now tossing your underwear to the side and kissing his way down your thighs.
about two minutes earlier, you and nanami were just yelling at each other about your recent mission. you had a plan and nanami completely disregarded it for it's lack of, well, planning. you were more erratic and spontaneous, wanting to go with the flow, while nanami was more calculated and careful, always wanting to stay organized.
you barged in immediately after your checkup with shoko, still fuming because he ignored you when you tried to ask him on your way back about why the plans changed. you complained to shoko about it, to which she said "instead of yelling at me, why not go yell at him," to which you took literally.
nanami didn't acknowledge you once ever since you came in, which infuriated you even further. although his face was stoic, a slightly noticeable vein was popping out of his forehead and his fingers were gripping his pen tighter.
you spun him around in his seat, still complaining in his face, your noses almost touching, which ended up being his last straw. "you are incredibly childish, irresponsible, and i simply have no respect for you at all! you endanger our lives every time we go on a mission together, but all you can think about is how much fun you're having! you're selfish, and honestly a little bit dense, and i wish you'd shut up and leave, you're disturbing my peace."
your eyes widen as he speaks, his voice barely raising but his anger clearly showing. "you can kiss my ass." you grit and the look of disgust that appears on his face makes you even angrier. before you can say anything, he beats you to it.
"please leave," he says, standing up and now looking down at you.
feeling stubborn, you stand your ground and cross your arms. "no," you childishly protest and he leans his head back with a sigh.
"leave or-"
"or what?" you interrupt, moving closer to him and something in the atmosphere changes. for you it could've been the way he looked at you with such an intimidating expression, one that made you submit almost too quickly. for him it could've been the way you were pressed up against him, your chest against his and your pelvises almost touching.
before you could process what was going on, you were sitting on his desk, his lips attacking yours furiously and you were kissing him back.
his mouth is now on your pussy, eating you out like you were his favorite meal, his anger fueling his actions. "fuck don't stop, it feels so good," you moan and nanami grunts against your clit.
"stop fucking talking," he growls, his tongue darting back out to play with your clit and you slide your hands into his hair.
"fuck...you," you respond, breathless as he continues to mercilessly eat you out. nanami sucks your clit into his mouth over and over again, essentially treating it as a pacifier, and just when you think you're about to cum, he stops and inserts two fingers inside you.
"who knew something so sweet could come out of someone so bitter," he teases, watching as your pussy swallows his digits. you're unable to speak properly, your mouth open mid gasp and your back arching off the table. nanami speeds up, the sound making him even harder, and you finally gain your ability to speak again.
"shut up and eat- oh fuck- me out," you moan, pushing his head back onto your pussy and he complies, slurping away what has been produced by his ministrations. you choke on another moan and rut your hips against his face, to which he responds by holding your hips in place with his free hand. now completely controlling your pleasure, nanami fingers you faster, the tips of his fingers constantly brushing against your g-spot and before you knew it, you were having an orgasm.
you struggle to stay quiet as your body lights up but you find it difficult as nanami refuses to let up, his fingers fighting against your constricting walls and his tongue still hard at work on your clit. as you come down, you truly start to feel the overstimulation and try to pull away. "mm mm, stay right here. you should've left when i told you to. now it's my turn," he says, muffled by your pussy and you cry out when he starts sucking your sensitive clit again.
"please, its too much, i can't," you plead but it falls onto deaf ears as he goes on. nanami adds another finger and your eyes roll to the back of your head, the stretch adding a new sensation to focus on.
"if only you were as obedient as your pussy. look at how she sucks me right in," he coos and you subconsciously get tighter at his teasing. he chooses not to say anything about it yet, and focuses on stretching you out for his dick. your breathing picks up and nanami recognizes the cues for your next orgasm so he dives back onto your clit, spitting on it and slurping it loosely.
you cum unexpectedly this time and nanami keeps fucking you through it, your body thrashing against his hold. he finally pulls away from you, sitting up to look at your blissed out face. you open your eyes when he grabs onto your jaw with one hand and prods at your mouth with the other.
"open," he commands and you do as he says, the fuzz in your brain stopping you from thinking clearly. he puts his fingers into your mouth and you moan as you suck away the mess on them. he pulls you off the desk and leans you against it, your upper body folded over it now.
he pushes his clothed erection against you from behind and groans when you push back against him. nanami thinks about teasing you some more but he has a meeting with yaga about your partnership soon and he's racing against time. he quickly pulls his dick out, the tip turning slightly red as it's been begging for attention sine he kissed you.
your head is down when he pushes into you and you snap it up when you feel the way it stretches you out. a high pitched moan escapes you and nanami slaps his hand over your mouth while pulling you up to talk to you. "shut up, i'm not even all the way in yet," he rasps and you et out a sound of desperation.
once he bullies the rest of his cock inside of you, he pulls out and snaps his hips back into yours, and if it wasn't for his hand on your mouth, the entire academy would've heard the moan that came out of you. nanami sets a relentless pace, his anger towards you growing the louder you get.
"you really don't know how to be quiet, huh?" he growls, pushing all the way into you, shimmying his hips to get deeper, and you fall over, stopping yourself from moaning this time. tears come to your eyes and he fucks you deeply, the pleasure too much for you to handle and your knees going weak. nanami realizes you effort and scoffs to himself. "so you do know how to follow directions? i knew it wouldn't take much to put a brat like you in her place," he says and nod furiously, not even sure of what he's saying.
he speeds up now, his eyes fixated on the way your ass jiggles every time he thrusted into it. your pussy begins squeezing him like it did earlier but nanami isn't having it. he pulls you up by your hair and grabs you by your throat. "you'll wait, do you understand me? hold it until i say you can cum," he instructs and you let out a whine in protest. ultimately, you listen, and although it was extremely hard to focus on not cumming, you succeed.
nanami takes the hand on your throat and begins rubbing your clit with it. "make sure you stay quiet just like this. go ahead and cum for me," he says and not even a second later your gushing all over his dick. he moans out curses as you cum, your pussy holding onto his dick and when you're done, he pulls out. he yanks your shoulder and pushes you onto the ground, and you catch on, taking his dick in your hand and stroking it.
this is your first time seeing it and god was it big. you take the tip in your mouth and bob your way down his shaft, wanting to feel it in your throat. nanami moans as you suck him off and before long, he cums in your mouth. you swallow it as it comes and when he's done, he pulls you back to your feet. he carries you onto the desk and rubs the side of your hips as he comes down from his own high, his head on your shoulder.
"i'm sorry for barging in here and acting an ass," you say softly and he chuckles, his head still down.
"i'm sorry for calling you childish, irrisponsible, selfsih-"
"alright, i get it you're sorry!" you interrupt and he laughs a little harder. he stands up, tucks his dick away, and helps you put your pants back on before giving you a bottle of water and watching you leave.
later that day, during his meeting with yaga, at which he wanted to request a partner switch, he decided on sticking with you for just a little longer.
#jjk nanami#nanami kento#nanami kento fluff#nanami kento x reader#nanami x reader#jjk smut#nanami kento smut#nanami smut#nanami x black reader#nanami x black!reader#jujutsu nanami#nanami x y/n#nanami x you#nanami x reader smut
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