#lost in that last goodbye !!! what if time doesn’t do what it’s supposed to do !!! what if i never get over you !!!

[andwewerehappy]

had the big cry about them tonight. mostly him. keep daring the universe to prove me wrong when i say i’ll never see him again.

[miriamladyvoid]

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My ask: I know the applications are closed but when they are open I would like a second part with: Silver, Sebek, Trey and Deuce. This section is too good to end like this, I hadn't laughed so hard all week (by the way good luck with your homework).

➸𝘍𝘜𝘙𝘉𝘈𝘓𝘓 𝘔𝘐𝘚𝘊𝘏𝘐𝘌𝘍 pt. 2

concept: [character] with s/o that has a very protective little brother!grim

characters: silver || sebek zigvolt || trey clover || deuce spade

disclaimers: reader is gender neutral || reader is yuu || fluff

𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐫

grim knows not to mess with lilia’s son, but he does it anyways cus yk, that’s what blue furballs do.

dudes just trying to sleep until grim harshly wakes him up. “did you know that you shouldn’t date prefect cus they’re ugly and they they don’t love you. wake up and break up” poor silver.

you once tried to cut his hair cus it was getting too long, just when you were about to cut his bangs grim just oh so coincidentally as under the table and accidentally burnt your shoe. what happened to silvers bangs that day? the kokoro + xingqiu effect.

he grew up with lilia’s cooking, so of course you love to cook for the boy, but with grim around? he literally puked in the stew you were cooking for silver.

grim makes letters to piss him off and signs them off with your name, silver doesn’t really read them and they get sent to lilia so rip to you both.

𝐬𝐞𝐛𝐞𝐤 𝐳𝐢𝐠𝐯𝐨𝐥𝐭

“you probably love malleus more than you love prefect” “HOW DARE YOU SAY TO THAT, I LOVE THE PREFECT A LOT.” say goodbye to your rights to hear cus this mans a humanized megaphone.

grim loves taunting him with malleus, he’s the exact reason of the trust issues in your relationship. grim loves torturing this man.

his favorite activity is hanging out in the botanical garden so there’s no doubt he loves to take you there to talk about your day. it all goes so well until grim appears behind one of the flowers and technically sets his hair on fire.

he likes to carry you around, he loves it actually. just carrying you and running around diasomnia is so fun. however, it is not fun when grim makes him trip which results to the both of you falling.

he helps you with your math homework, which you are very grateful for. but grim did not let that slide, burning the papers alongside the table you two were sitting at.

𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐲 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫

grim tries a lot of things to get you two to break up. but this man literally has fucking plot armor cus HOW???

grim once broke a bag full of flour to pour on you two, it was a success, but not how it was supposed to be.

you two were under the flour laughing your asses off, a single moment of silence and suddenly you two were KISSING? he wanted to puke out a whole furball at that spot.

there has also been times where grim tried to dump paint over you and blame it on trey, but ace and deuce always has trey’s back because, well, he’s the only piece of hope in the whole heartslaybul dorm.

angry trey is terrifying. grim once tried to sabotage your soup -which you were very proud of - and got stuffed in the oven for like 3 hours cus of this man.

𝐝𝐞𝐮𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐚𝐝𝐞

he loves it when you paint the little spade mark on his face, it always seems to go wrong after grim ‘accidentally’ replaced the bottle with hot sauce.

he wants to be the honor student and your honor boyfriend, he has to be physically restrained to stop himself from choking the furballs outta grim.

he gets so red and shakes so much when you just tell him a simple “you’re eyes are so beautiful” after you leave grim just appears outta nowhere and cosplays mira kano for a bit “you know they didn’t mean that right”.

dude will come to your dorm in the middle of the night and go “hey i lost my bed, can i sleep in yours?” really tired grim just responds with “this is why prefect doesn’t love you”.

he got you cute matching necklaces with him for valentines day but did those ever last? hell no grim literally snatched and then swallowed them when he was just about to put it around your neck. good soup ong.

The original publication and writing belongs to @miliinmi (Post recovered) 31/12/22

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Banners created by miriamladyvoid© Feel free to use; please, reblog, and credit banners.

Language of the flowers of each Banner:

First Banner: Camellia Japonica: Platonic Love. Second Banner: Peach Blossom: Generosity. Third Banner: Gillyflower: Bonds of Affection.

[justjensenanddean]

Jensen Ackles | Purgatory Con, Düsseldorf, Germany, May 26, 2024, Panel Summary

Most creepy or annoying toy the kids ever had? Slime. It creeps him out. He has it all over his house now. He doesn’t like the texture or feel. But his kids love it. Creepiest? Danneel has an old antique doll. It is old cracked, has creepy eyes and is the devil. (x)

Demon Dean or Soldier Boy, who‘s more powerful? Demon Dean because SB has a traumatized little boy in him and demon Dean is just empty. He‘s more dangerous because he just doesn’t care. (x)

Funniest moment from set of The Boys? Someone yells Herogasm so Jensen says it was probably not the funniest moment but when he arrived on day 3 of the set, Jack Quaid asked if he‘s been on set yet and when it was a no, he said „whoo, good luck“ (x)

People kept mistaking the bottles of lube and the bottles of hand sanitizer. Jensen was not prepared for when filming started and everyone took their robes off. Jensen was not prepared. (x)

Jensen couldn’t not look. They called cut. Jensen was like „I‘m sorry, there’s 4 people over here doing a position I have never seen before.“ His shower was extra long that evening. „There may have been tears.“ (x)

“There’s four people over here in a position I have not seen before!!!” “My shower lasted extra long that evening. And there were tears.” Jensen retelling stories from Herogasm set on #TheBoys (x)

How long did it take him to learn the Arabic phrase for s14? Not long, he can parrot things quite easily. He just needs to hear it a few times, then he can repeat the sounds. It‘s how he learns accents. Tap dance worked like it too. If he can see or hear it, he can emulate it. (x)

Jensen: “I don’t think Cas’s confession is something that needs to be resolved. There is nothing to resolve. He said what he needed to say, it was a long time coming, it was heartfelt and beautiful. But there’s nothing to resolve.” (x) “Dean took it in and then lost one of his closest allies and friends. The accepting of that happened when Dean sat on the floor. He lost one of his brothers in arms and one of his closest people. When they come back, it’s just understood.” (x)

Are there situations where he accidentally or on purpose bring out Dean? Yes. Sometimes he thinks „it would be great to be Dean Winchester right now. He could have handled this.“ Dean is alive in him and comes out from time to time. (x)

Were there fake tears on SPN or did he ever cry? He wasn’t classically trained, so the emotion we see is real. He doesn’t know how to fake it. Compares it to a book or movie making you emotional. You know it’s not real, but it still gets you. (x)

After the s4 scene when Dean confesses to Sam about his 40 years and torturing in hell, he had to walk away because his body didn’t know it was fake. The barn scene was probably the most real, but for different reasons. He was saying goodbye to Dean, Jared, the crew. (x)

Crew members had to leave set because they were crying too. They were trying to dial it down, because it was too much emotion. (x)

When things get too serious? Laughter. It‘s his levee. When things get too heavy, he makes a joke to ease the situation. (x)

„Do you use Jared‘s conditioner?“ No he does not. That’s just what his hair does. (x)

Who inspires you? Jensen doesn’t idolize anyone, but he has a lot of respect for certain people and tries to absorb as much as he can when he meets them. Could be a brilliant scientist, an artist, an actor. (x)

Being cold on set? There was a scene with Bobby where they looked at a map over the hood of the car. Jensen told Bob Singer that it was ridiculous because they would look at the map in their car. But Bob wanted a specific job and told him to just get it done. (x) A few days after he got lasic surgery, he was supposed to wear sunglasses all the time. But he had to film in the sun with light shining in his face. Jensen was in so much pain that Serge covered the white surfaces in black. Didn’t help much. He took ibuprofen and powered through (x)

Dead in the Water when he had to hold the kid up and the diver pulled him under, it was the most eery feeling. He was terrified for the kid. But the kid actor had fun. / End of panel. (x)

(JMacLean)

[breeyn]

An essay rebutting the “bad writing” claims of s2 ofmd. Spoilers herein.

I’ll preface this with saying you’re obviously allowed to like and dislike whatever you want. I am in no way opposing that. And your reasons are your reasons. Have at. (Also - this is a collection of observations from the past few days, I’m not calling anyone out)

I AM going to rebut the idea that season two was poorly written and lost the spirit of what the show is about.

My favourite movie of all time is Empire Strikes Back. It’s been my favourite movie since I was four. I’m pretty sure it’s a fave of David Jenkins, too. He and Taika have made absolutely no attempt to hide their love of all things 80’s - Prince, the Princess Bride, Kate Bush, Star Wars, etc.

I have ancient video tapes (that I can’t play because who has a vcr) where Lucas is interviewed by Leonard Maltin? Malkin? I dunno. Who cares. Maltin asks him about the Star Wars (original trilogy) story arc. Lucas says “in act I, you introduce all the characters. In act II, you put them in a situation they can’t get out of, and in act III, they get out of it.”

That’s how it works. This is how stories and literary structures work.

Of course you’re not satisfied with season two. You’re not supposed to be.

The arguments I have read on why s2 loses the spirit of s1 is because no one heals. No one learns anything. No one moves forward properly. The person who makes the biggest move towards healing dies. The two main characters end the show doing the exact fucking thing they had promised themselves and each other they wouldn’t do. Our romantic lead still doesn’t understand his value or make any headway on addressing his tragic flaw. It makes no goddamn sense.

My gremlins in weird: it’s not supposed to. In Act 2, EVERYONE LOSES. This is how it goes.

I’ve read a lot of people saying “but this felt like a series finale, not a season finale.” We all know that outside politics play a part here, the strikes make everything precarious. I remember the last writers strike. It destroyed tv for fifteen years. Anyone remember Pushing Daisies? Some of y’all have never had your fave show cancelled with zero resolution for the characters and it shows.

Daddy J did us a kindness. He softened the blow of a tough season. After the brutal cliffhanger of s1, he gave us a little softness and hope. All those things you’re mad aren’t resolved? It’s because THE STORY ISN��T OVER.

No one on earth thinks “stuff all your trauma into a box and ignore it” is good advice. A way to actually live. This show did not have enough screen time to throw out dialogue for no reason. There was foreshadowing in s1 for s2, and there is foreshadowing for s3 in s2. This is a well-crafted story by very smart people who care very much for these characters. There is zero chance Frenchie explained the box in his head for no reason. The reason people have not resolved their trauma and growth is because they haven’t done it *yet*.

And friends - it’s not thinly veiled. They straight up fucking tell us what they’re doing.

Luke Skywalker spends the first two movies fucking up and desperately trying to prove himself and just generally being an idiot. Sound familiar? He ignores the lessons he is supposed to be learning to go off and do what he feels like doing, and loses fucking badly. At the end of Empire, Han is gone, Luke and Leia wave goodbye to the Falcon that has Lando and Chewy - the rest of their crew - aboard. Everyone has lost everything they care about. Vader is undefeated. Yoda is pissed. Nothing is resolved.

You see where I’m going?

If you think I’m stretching this too far, welp, when Ed tells Stede he loves him - the climax of the finale - Stede quotes Han fucking Solo. Like - *it’s right there*. The story structure. The reason everything is unresolved.

So yeah. They wave goodbye to their ship because they have wounds to heal (like Luke’s hand). The people aboard the ship have things to find. Ed and Stede have *not* learned their lesson about whims and how not to be like Anne and Mary. It’s not stupid that they’re doing the same thing, and it’s not pointless that we were shown Anne and Mary. It’s all relevant.

The resolution comes in Act 3. None of these people are done. The story is far, far from over. And just in case the studios want to be dicks about it, David Jenkins was lovely enough to not repeat my enduring heartbreak over Pushing Daisies.

Thank you, @davidjenks 🖤

[wandagcre]

hii ive been down bad for kate bishop fics lately 😓😓. can i request a oneshot of dom intersex kate bishop just fucking reader but shes just as needy as reader? oh and maybe some choking and breeding cause why not 🤭🤭 thank youu!

better than the rest | kate bishop 🔞

(Kate Bishop x Fem!Reader)

Your partner as of late called it quits with you. Kate was concerned, insisting to check up on you. With the warmth she always had provided, you can't help but think of other ways she can comfort you.

WARNING: top!kate, kate has a penis, bottom!reader, self-loathing (r), p in v, unprotected sex, car sex, choking, breeding - not proofread +18 / men & minors dni. Words: 4.6k

“I think it’s for the best if we break up.”

Was what your partner said while hesitant to meet your eyes. It snapped you back into consciousness that your gaze on them fluttered rapidly in wonder. Yes, undeniably, there was a hint of sadness that hit you. After all, you dated them for half a year, it was… stable. No, rather it was stagnant, so you supposed this was bound to happen.

However, with your silence and clenched fist, your now ex-partner mistook it as deep despair.

They carefully placed their hand atop yours across the table. “I’m sorry–”

“You don’t have to be,” You cut them off, sighing in resignation. The acceptance somewhat came in quickly to your surprise. “I do not want to weigh you down at all, especially when it comes to your happiness. I-I… truly understand where you’re coming from.”

A faint smile appears on their face. You return the expression, wanting to ease the tension. You wanted a civil conversation where they could easily say the thoughts that they might have been withholding. You had your own as well. From there, the two of you discuss what went wrong – you simply drifted away from each other, inevitably with the long distance as another obstacle. The infatuation stage didn’t last – your relationship was too casual for someone who should be lovers. 

As the conversation ran, the air felt lighter. You didn’t realize how much you missed them but this further confirmed that you and now current ex, worked better as friends. The notion of breakup was mutual and amicable between you two and turned out better than you both hoped for. 

What caught you off-guard as you parted ways, was how your ex mentioned a certain friend of yours.

“Say hi to Kate for me! That girl is always on your rescue.” They gleefully say with a pat on your back and a knowing smile.

You froze for a moment at the sudden mention of the Avenger but managed to form a cohesive reply. “Sure. I’ll make sure she doesn’t send pitchforks or arrows on your way.”

“That’s very much appreciated!”

The two of you ended up giggling as you waved goodbye and a part of you remained stunned. Your heart was pounding, as though a dormant thought had come back to life.

It has been a week since you were available on the market again and you received mixed responses. You wanted to laugh, at how some disapproved and agreed that you and your ex were simply different. When you rebutted that technically, opposites attract, your close ones were quick to say: totally inapplicable to this case!

Your family knew how you’ve grown close to Kate; and seriously, they kept mentioning the woman! You lost count of how many times you’ve become flustered each time they lumped you and shrugged the thought that maybe you two had a great chemistry together. But in all seriousness, things were easy with Kate – the archer somewhat managed to juggle you in her time, between Avenging and college, your dynamic was far from you and your ex. All it took was the fateful encounter you guys had at a hardware store you part-timed in, attending to her questions, and Kate charming you with her clumsy rambling self. 

Why do you keep comparing her now with your ex? Screw these insinuations, now you cannot stop thinking about the other possibilities.

And speaking of the devil, the archer finally had her well-deserved free time. Said through the phone that the aliens and gods can handle the potential storm for a while, to which you were surprised to hear, knowing that she took Avenging duties seriously close to her heart. Unbeknownst to you, all it took from Kate was your break-up news and it immediately filled her with concern. She was far too occupied even if it was only a few days, setting aside her feelings for you, Kate wondered how you were holding up.

“Get in sweetcakes.” Kate hollered from her rolled-up car window as you waited in front of the hardware store. Your shift just ended. You shook your head at how corny it was, although it was endearing enough to make your insides fuzzy. 

“Not if you call me that one more time.”

It only occurred to you that it was a bad idea as soon as you saw the glint of mischief in Kate’s eyes, hands on the side of her mouth, ready to scream.

“Sweetcakes! Sweetcakes, Sweet–”

“Stop embarrassing me, Jesus.” You get inside her car, rubbing your palms together to warm you down. Kate chuckled at your feigned display of annoyance. It was certainly her favorite pastime.

The drizzle had stopped. The familiar afternoon glow wasn’t there, instead replaced with grey skies, giving a gloomy ambiance in the chilly weather. Yet, it barely affected the natural state of Kate’s aura – her bright disposition and smile giving you warmth.

Blood rushed on your cheeks and ears as you realize you’ve been taking quick peeks to your friend’s side profile.

Kate cleared her throat, “Actually, I prefer to be called Kate.” You give her another displeased look. “Fine, I relent. So are we going to talk about it now?” Kate shook her head sideways, urging you to elaborate. She leaned comfortably on the driver’s seat, prepared for a long story time before you guys hit off the parking lot. You were casual – too casual – as though this was another Monday for you. 

Break-ups aren’t normally this way, right?

“What was what? Can’t I get a hi first?”

“Hi.” Kate says unamused. “Now, I was worried the whole time. I know we’ve talked on the phone but I’m not fully convinced ‘til I hear from you.”

“Aw, so you were thinking of me?” You tease Kate who’s cheeks flamed up yet you did not notice as she pushed you off playfully. 

She groaned. “Come on. I’m sure break-ups are commonly followed by crying and drinking afterward. Not… this!” Kate gestures at you, hands flailing at your almost poker face. “Or have you recovered already? Because that’s either an impressive world record or a bunch of bullshit to me.”

You chuckle at the unending questions being thrown at each other. Now you figured out how you sounded odd. 

For the sake of her inner peace, you decide to let it out. “Look, Kate, it was meant to end at some point for us. I mean, when was the last time I hung out with them? I don’t see them a lot, we don’t feel the spark anymore. I’m almost always hanging out with you. There isn’t any bad blood. I guess we just fell out – not compatible anymore.”

“Seriously?” 

“Seriously.” You look at her straight to her ocean eyes that you love. Wait, what? “I don’t… I don’t think I’m missing out on the relationship department because, in the first place, I haven’t been getting any action.”

Kate awkwardly chuckled at your words, tugging on the collar of her shirt. 

“Uh, that I cannot fix. I’m sorry?”

You laugh at the archer’s response. Taking a good look over Kate’s outfit, you see that she’s particularly dressed up today – indicating that she had business to attend over her family’s company. She wore a black suit patterned with an embroidered burnt orange design. She was a treat in your eyes.

Were you shamelessly checking her out?

Yes, very much so.

Kate, however, wasn’t as clueless as you thought. She lets you and plans on teasing you about it. Even if it was out of curiosity or an innocent admiration, the archer wouldn’t tell you – at least for a couple more hundred years – how she loved being the subject of your attention. It didn’t help that your being single again had spurred her mind on the gutters and honestly made you more desirable at the moment. However, Kate refused to delve into them right now – out of respect as your friend first.

"Would you be interested in hooking up with me?” You sultry uttered.

The air within the car felt thick and a pin drop could almost be heard. You shook your head in disappointment to yourself – God, of course, this wasn’t very proper of you to ambush Kate like that. Her silence was very telling. You caught the archer real good, flabbergasted, and can barely formulate a proper word out of her pretty mouth. Nodding at this, you understood that it was too much – forward and probably disrespectful.

You start buckling your seatbelt.

“No, no I get it. Don’t worry, Kate. Let’s just get out of here and–”

Kate was quick to shake her head in disagreement, "No baby, you don’t understand,” The archer’s voice sounded desperate. She did not even realize how the endearment smoothly left her lips. “You're all I wanted! But that doesn't matter right now, you just got out of a relationship–"

“–I told you it wasn’t built to last. I guess it’s a talent of mine, I can’t keep things to stay.” You say out of attempted humor, although your mind had flipped into a different perspective now, the thought was very unsettling. 

Can’t you?

"It’s normal! Nothing goes perfect on the first few tries,” Kate sputtered out, desperate to provide an ounce of solace. “Just like with cooking, we burn stuff, end up ordering takeout. Or- or me with my things. You know how many times my messy self can misplace a lot of things.” Especially my hoodies. I swear they keep disappearing on me, the thought suddenly coming into light to Kate. Whatever, she hoped that in a way, she managed to lighten up the conversation. 

One thing about Kate is that her rambling and playful nature combined somewhat grows into this charismatic mess. A giggle almost erupts out of you but clearly, there is another time and place for that.

“Well, you do keep losing your keys.”

“Exactly.”

“And you’re notorious for parading around while wearing The Ronin’s suit and coming back to your apartment.”

“Ouch. Not my brightest moment I’ll admit. But at least you’re getting my point!”

Finally registering her words, you rolled your eyes now good-heartedly to Kate’s relief. "And if you’re wondering about your hoodies, no they are not lost. I may or may not have some of them.” You admit your crime and Kate comically jutted her head closer to you in shock. It’s like you read her mind. “Not bad for a pep talk, Bishop. But I guess we’re not fucking, are we?”

Now the last sentence had Kate gripping her seat, not expecting your unfiltered spew of words. Would it be bad if she were to admit that her cock twitched at the thought of having you?

But your comfort comes first. She worried that a speck of insecurity could have been plaguing you, wanting to ease that more than ever. While you peered at the window seat, the archer exhaled, scooting to your side – at least the most she could, anyway.

"Give me your hand." Kate's elbow rested in the middle of the car compartment, where her jug is confined, her palm extended for an invitation for you to hold. "Come on, you big baby.”

You take the chance, petulantly placing yours atop hers.

"What now, gonna take the rejection easy on me?" You raise an eyebrow, looking away from her. "Or is it another one of your pranks? Kate, I'm telling you I can take rejections like a big girl despite your disagreement. It was a dumb proposition. Just forget it." You try to act unphased but the grumble gives you out. The feeling slowly sinks you further into humiliation.

Why would you ask your good friend for a good time?

Kate feels the laughter begging to erupt out of her chest. Still, she doesn't, knowing that you might take it the wrong way. God, you were so adorable. "You're not getting it, always so stubborn."

You feel her squeezing your hand. 

"Yada, yada. Just drive, Kate."

Kate's hands remained interlaced with yours even with your curt reply. Eyes curious over you. Even with your mind far away, they have always been so expressive and raw which makes it tenfold difficult to look directly – all tender and equally needy as you, only if you took the chance and looked.

She admits timidly, "I want to. You have no idea how long I've waited for this moment just to kiss you. But I cannot afford to be your second choice, just because it is convenient. I don't want it to be a casual thing!" Her voice bounced off a pitch-higher.

You bit your lip in contemplation. Kate doesn't take her eyes on you nor disrupt the short comfortable silence that lingered. Her hands come to thread through your tresses, admiring you out in the open now.

How could you not have seen it earlier?

It would have saved you a lot more time. One that couldn't have gone to waste. Kate has always been worth your while. Meanwhile, the said woman was stunned. Kate's throat was almost caught in a lump, in disbelief that she got to pour an ounce of her confession. She can't help but rub your sides soothingly – in hopes of calming your turbulent mind.

You unexpectedly move away from your seat, determined to plop yourself on Kate's lap. You swung your legs atop her and a tremendous surprise struck the archer; she could not grasp the uncharted territory being crossed. 

Having you so intimately? Kate was going to combust.

"Huh. It's a good thing that I specifically don't intend it to be a one-time thing." You place your forefinger on Kate's plush lips. "No, I don't expect this to be a casual thing either. I'm sorry if I didn't see the signs earlier..." 

Her ocean eyes had a glint of hope, her heart thrumming madly at the next words that would leave your lips. "So you're saying...?"

"Take what's yours, Bishop." You moved closer, arms dangled between her headrest. You comb through her jet black hair, her attention hopelessly hooked onto you. Inching further to her ear, you husk out, "Do me like you mean it."

She sharply inhaled. 

“I’ll make it worth your time.”

You answer her with a tease, wiggling your hips forward so slightly, her ocean eyes melting at the motion.

She takes one last look to find traces of an ounce of possible regret and retreats from your offer, only to see the unadulterated need in the swirls of your darkening eyes.

Kate's grasp over your hips tightened mouth agape over your affirmation. Her cock was no longer flaccid, instead, it started to strain through her jeans. You feel her and your cunt throbs madly. She was clutching over the layers of your clothing, now eager to take them all off. All she ever craved was to worship you, for you to finally notice her – to take you as she means it – just as your green light urged her to do so.  

Both your lips clashed, tilting on the opposite side, excited to get a taste of what both of you were missing out on. It was no longer as hesitant and awkward as the chaste kiss that you initiated a few minutes ago. You taste the faint traces of her favorite coffee that caused you to smile. The cramped space was overwhelmingly filled with tension and adrenaline; Kate rode along as you did and happily explored your mouth – her tongue swiping sensually along your lower lip and catching you in another bruising kiss again, to which you enthusiastically let out a guttural moan at.

"I’m so drunk on you right now..." Kate muttered, her voice dropping a few octaves. You ground harder in response, moving languidly against her as the kiss continued. 

Her scent was alluring more than ever. You claw at the back of her neck, fingers tangled in her silky tresses. “Then, consider this definitely worth the hangover.” You moan sultrily in Kate’s open mouth - both of your sounds crashing.

Lips bruising and breathless at this point, Kate reluctantly pulled away to adjust her car seat. It was hilarious and endearing for you how she kept smiling between your kisses and the archer kept on chasing for your lips. Even with her numbing lips, she scattered open mouthed kisses all over your jaw and neck, your whole body set ablaze.

“No backing out now.” Kate returns the equally seductive tone, her vulnerability poorly hidden underneath her assertive act.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,”

“Good.”

You feel Kate clawing the fabric of your shirt underneath the bunched up jacket of yours. the way her nails dug desperately had made you buckle over her lap, bodies pressed more than ever, making the two of you moan. 

"You feel so good against me," Kate murmured breathlessly. "I can't get enough of this." she confesses with much candor, eyes gleaming at you that it sends shivers down your spine.

You were plopped down on her lap, swollen lips, and you wanted nothing but her. Kate cannot express enough how her heart feels like it was going to burst out of her ribcage.

"Is that so?" The husk and rawness in her voice made your stomach flip, breaking out a small smile out of you. "I bet you regret it..." your hands that no longer cradled her jaw found their way instead to graze downwards underneath her fancy suit, nails digging on Kate's fine abdomen. "Regret how you said no to me earlier."

The firm muscles grow tense under your touch, making you smirk. you had the Bishop woman successfully loss at words. She only hummed, seemingly lost and busied herself through littering your jaw and neck with more kisses, her teeth inevitably scraping at your skin.

And Kate? She's more than willing to be under your hypnotizing spell.

Kate soon broke the barriers and went her way to claw on your bare skin. The obvious choice for you was to discard the jacket that was nothing more than an obstacle. You wanted to feel her, craving for so much more. Although, you find yourself smiling a little with how the archer was hesitant to break the kiss as the inevitable parting in the process came - Kate chasing your lips - both of you having red and swollen ones from a thirst induced by a dance. 

You're riled up and so is Kate. more so, she's afraid to break the momentum. Afraid that you would snap out of this haze anytime, so she savors each second – the shared warmth, the charged tension that drives her crazy, and your lips heavenly against hers – better than she ever dreamed of. 

When your hands begin to tug and unbuckle her belt, Kate looks at you with her ocean eyes skeptically.

"You wanna go all the way?" Kate rasps out and fuck, you have never heard of something more attractive than this. "I know you're- you might be still processing the break up. I don't wanna..." 

"Kate, listen to me." Your eyes pierce against hers, hands tangled on strands of her disheveled jet black waves, gently tugging and making the archer groan low at the sensation. "Among all the things I mourned and doubted for today, this - us - is not one of them. So yes, I want this. I need you."

Kate took a deep sigh. "As long as you're-"

"-long is what I want, it’s underneath your pants, and you're keeping it away from me. Unless you're backing out now on me, Bishop." 

Her perfect teeth clutched against her bottom lip as you've managed to unzip and free her cock out of her boxers. Your mouth agape in shock, heavens, she was big as you expected. How would it fit? You witnessed her member grow erect under your needy gaze. Kate has no other choice but to moan pathetically as you hold her cock.

"S-shit! Baby, be careful!" Kate hissed low, although her touch continued to relay the want coursing through her.

"Sorry," you sheepishly say and regardless, it dawns a stupid smile over Kate's features. 

It's rough and slightly painful on Kate's end, making her turn red sporadically. You take pity and spit on her cock to lubricate it, the stroke and twists slow at first. The action made her lower stomach and appendage twitch, with her foreskin being tugged in your grasp, Kate uttered a string of soft moans, all putty in your hands quite literally. 

Sue her, she's over the moon right now.

You bite your lip. "I can't take this anymore, I need you inside of me." 

Your spontaneity and darkening gaze continues to make Kate's head spin. She loved being the subject of your desire. Fuck, it was the hottest thing she has witnessed yet. 

"Do you now?" Kate chimed, having a palmful of your breasts through the shirt you're wearing. your eyes rolled back. "Unzip your jeans for me."

When you moved your body up, you failed to measure the distance between the roof of Kate's car and your head, making you bump your head in the process. you muttered a soft ow - heat settling on your cheeks. Kate's gaze however, did not waver, and it brought a pearly smile on her face as she found you endearing.

"Do I have to do it for you baby?" Kate murmured, her hands gripping over your waist.

You shook your head timidly. "No no, I can do it,"  

"That's my girl." The archer scratched her nails light on your stomach, a moan inevitably escapes your mouth. You feel her thumb teasing underneath your bra.

It was the push you needed, then on it was almost smooth sailing as you deftly unbuttoned your jeans. Gravitating to Kate's touch, your own body was attuned and glided for more. Her blue eyes never left yours nor her ministrations that descend over your breast and waist faltered. Your heart pounded madly at such intensity.

Your playful ways shifted back, maneuvering through the limited space - it was a miracle for your slightly trembling hands. You were glistening enough to make Kate's throat grow dry.

As your eyes peer down, Kate's cock felt intimidating, with a girth and length that none of your previous experiences could rival. Not to mention her precum looked tempting. 

All that is left is for you to lower down and so you let your impulsive thoughts win; plunge in. 

Your face curled in the unexpected stretch. Maybe you shouldn't have done that.

"Oh god, oh god, oh god—slow down!" Kate whisper-yelled, her mind flitting between panic and pleasure, not knowing where to succumb first. "You should've warned me first! I don't even have a condom rolled up yet," Her grip over your hips reprimanding you as it was almost bruised; the archer tried to carry some of your weight, in hopes to alleviate the burning sensation.

"Sue me, did you really have to be so–" You groaned, one of your palms against the car window for support, eyes shut in semi-frustration. Kate is fucking huge and it was vivid how your cunt swallows her in. "It looked nice and ready, can you blame me?" 

The breathy heaving both of your breaths barely ceased. Fully settled in Kate's lap and your cunt insanely and sync pulsating with her cock inside of you, she gave you an unamused look. She gave your breasts a firm squeeze, kneading the supple flesh and tugging on your nipples particularly hard – enjoying how your head lolled, eyes droopy in the erotic sensation.

"If you're going to keep playing like that I'm gonna need to take over. You've been naughty enough for me." The archer sultry says, nipping at your clavicle.

"Kate, what—"

She hoists you an inch, only to thrust you back to her cock. "Always taking what you want, doing as you please. I'll have to teach you some manners next time baby. But right now… I will do as you said; buried deep in you.”

Kate slid her hand on the flesh of your bare ass cheek and gave it a light spank. Reveling and lost in how she fit inside of you, your head lolled in the stack of pleasure. Your body practically molded and moved along the archer languidly, feeling her front against yours.

Fuck, how can she fit in the depths you've never explored before? The squelching sounds of your wetness grew and filled the car, erotic to your ears. The vehicle no doubt rocking along the motion and build up that Kate has been brewing.

Your hands loosely enveloped between the driver seat's headrest, upper body slumped and now chest-to-chest against Kate. Even with her unwavering thrusts, you feel the heel of her palm firm around the side of your neck, along with her thumb applying pressure – inches away from your jugular notch – squeezing you.

No, Kate was choking you.

Eyes flutter shut, you respond with enthusiasm. "Yes, oh, yes!" 

"You look so beautiful right now..." Kate dazedly confessed. Her hands moved to your lower back for support. Opening your eyes in curiosity, you see her half-lidded eyes – your favorite ones – softening. "No, you always do. I can't believe this,"

The peppered kisses on your shoulder and above your chest were spread out. Kate's breathing was gruff, you found it adorable as you were well-acquainted with her focused state. Her words dripped with much honesty that it pierced right into your heart, her name already indented there.

Meeting Kate halfway, your hips continued to gyrate along and your palm gently cradled her by the cheeks. You kissed her fervently, filled with a newfound passion. Kate was surprised but fully snapped out, returning the same energy. This was an enlightenment; another step that both of you are eager to explore together.

Your eyes welled up; both in joy and the fruition of her lustful hard work.

Her hips fluidly doing an upward thrusts to squeeze all the juices worth out of you, the archer makes sure that she's punctuating her punishment for you. There was barely a resistance anymore that your walls practically accommodated the entirety of Kate's cock. Although the stretch lingered, adding to the build you wanted.

"This sight? M-mm! Kate, you- you better make it count. Take all of me." 

Your jaw went slack as your dirtiest fantasies are being overfilled with Kate's grip and her determined grunts. Your clit throbbed and you took it upon you to rub it. She whimpered upon witnessing the act. Kate swats your hand away, pad of her fingers applying more pressure against your nub.

You feel Kate's mouth and teeth nibbling on your pebbled nipples this time and being filled to the brim with her words, you don't know if she knew you already came.

Kate knew. Her eyes flicked between your face and saw your pretty tummy, how it twitched, the bulge of her member appearing at each pound. Her trousers were tale-telling too as it was ridiculously soaked.

A shrill was pulled out of your throat. Kate continued to thrust, "Gonna fill you up until your walls are painted white. You wanted this right? Then I'll give it to you, baby," You see her veins bulging out of her neck, the archer completely flustered as she releases thick ropes of her cum inside of you. You were still throbbing at the fill and the aftershocks. The warmth was overwhelming, from your walls and Kate's cum coating you, both of you felt slightly numbed. She kissed and marked you underneath your jaw and you hummed softly.

"Where did that come from?" You murmur while an inch away from Kate's plump lips.

"Guess you bring out the best in me."

You giggle at her silly self coming back and comb through her jet black strands, scratching at her nape. She lets out a soft moan. You're satisfied with how ruined her suit was almost unsalvageable with its creases and wetness.

“Well shit. I think we’re banned forever in this parking lot.” Kate jokes, breathless, causing you to softly chuckle. She’s never been more thankful for the invention of tinted car windows.

do not repost/translate on other sites. © wandagcre

[diamond-champagne]

4. I Lost You

Paige Bueckers x Azzi Fudd

Warnings: Slightly suggestive

A/N: Thank you so much for the support <3 This chapter is a bit choppy as it is a filler but I hope it provides clarity for the chapters to come! As always, feedback is always welcome! Enjoy. :)

The next few days fly by as far as Paige is concerned. She spends it going through the motions. Before she knows it, she’s making arrangements to go home for Thanksgiving. It’ll be the first time in years that Paige is only going home to Minneasota. She won’t be heading to Virginia to visit Azzi and her family. Riley would be going home with her this year. The thought makes her want to vomit.

The younger girl hasn’t asked her about her plans for break. In fact, they haven’t seen each other outside of practice. It’s a strange reality for Paige because she never thought she’d have to miss Azzi when they’re finally so close to each other. It’s funny how they felt more connected when they were hundreds of miles apart. Paige sighs deeply. 

A knock on the door interrupts Paige’s thoughts. She quickly checks her phone before opening up the door. Blair is waiting on the other side. The basketball player promised to drive her friend to the airport. 

“We’re going to be late. Let’s go!” Blair rushes Paige. She quickly gathers her keys and her phone before quickly walking to the car. Paige is very happy that Blair gets to see her boyfriend. They’ve made so much progress in their relationship despite the obstacles thrown at them from being long distance. However she’s sad; because Blair is leaving and Paige doesn’t know how she’ll get through the rest of the semester.

It’s a shared sentiment between the two. They had a conversation while eating dinner.

It’s around 8pm on Tuesday when Blair texts her.

You. Me. Noodles and Company?

Paige immediately agrees. Beyond the mention of the place that makes her favorite Mac and Cheese, her friend is leaving tomorrow. The blue-eyed girl isn’t sure how to cope with that. Paige is deep in thought when her phone vibrates again. It’s another message from Blair.

Let me in!

Paige figures that the girl had already been on her way when she initially texted her. This distance between her apartment and the restaurant is too far for her to get here as fast as she did. Nonetheless, she moves from her spot on the couch to let the brown-haired girl in. The smell of the food attacks Paige’s senses immediately.

“Hi, Paigey” Blair greets as she moves into the kitchen. 

“Hey, B” Paige responds. The two girls are quick to pull out their food and dig in. The silence between them is comfortable, at least for a moment.

“I’m gonna miss you, B” Paige confesses. She isn’t sure how she became so close with the girl in front of her in a matter of weeks. The blue-eyed girl would’ve never thought that she would be friends with the girl who bought her a tequila shot, but here she is. 

“Stop! We’ll say goodbye when you drive me to the airport tomorrow.” Blair demands. She also thinks about how she’ll miss Paige. 

“What am I supposed to do without you?” Paige whines. She really doesn’t know.

“You’re going to heal your heart.” Blair responds softly. “You’re going to move on because this is killing you. You have to do this for yourself.” Paige can only nod. “When I come back, I want to see a happier version of you. One that gets all of the love she deserves in this world.”

Paige gets up to hug the girl. She only hopes that she understands what she means when she replies “Thank you”. Blair hugs the basketball player a little tighter before pulling away.

“This is our last night together. We need tequila shots.” Blair laughs. She doesn’t want the entire night to feel heavy. Paige laughs but agrees and pulls out a bottle from her cabinet along with two shot glasses.

The rest of the evening is spent enjoying each other's company. Both girls were so glad that they had met the other.

When they finally reach the airport, silence settles between them. Paige gets out of the car to help Blair grab her bags from the trunk. They aren’t ready to say goodbye just yet. It’s simple.

“I’ll see you soon, Bueckers.” Blair smirks. Her tease lightens the mood. This is what she said when they first met.

“I can't wait!” Paige flirts back. 

They hug before Blair turns to walk in the airport. She’s almost through the door when she turns back to gain the basketball player's attention. 

“Paige!” she yells which prompts the blue-eyed girl to look at her. “Take care of yourself.” It’s not an easy task but she says it anyway. 

“I will. Promise” Paige confirms.

“You’re too full of life to be half loved.” and with that, Blair walks into the airport. She doesn’t give the girl a chance to respond. She doesn’t need to. Blair can only hope that the blonde girl listens to her.

-

For the next few days, Paige carries those words with her. 

“You are too full of life to be half loved.” echoes in her head at all hours of the day.

She carries them home to Minneasota for Thanksgiving. She looks for any type of love within the people around her. 

She sees it with Drew. It’s in the way he naturally gravitates to her. It’s in the way he looks at her like she can do no more.

Paige sees the same thing with her dad. His eyes hold a certain type of admiration. She can tell that he’s filled with a sense of pride when he looks at her. He’s proud of her. 

She hears it when talks to Blair’ and her other friends. They naturally include her and accept her. 

She feels it when the Fudds call and text her individually on the holiday. Katie, Tim, Jon, and Jose each make an effort to wish her a happy Thanksgiving despite her not being there with them. They don’t have a reason to think about her; but they do.

She understands it now. Why should she settle for only half of that? 

Paige decided over Thanksgiving break that she won’t.

-

Azzi spends the week of Thanksgiving with her family and Riley. The decision to bring her was last minute and slightly impulsive. Okay so maybe slightly more than slightly impulsive. The curly-haired girl had essentially thrown a wrench into everyone’s plans by bringing the volleyball player home with her. 

Everyone had planned for Azzi to walk through the door with Paige. 

Her grandparents had come with the hopes of being able to see the pair for a little while. Jon and Jose were disappointed that there wouldn’t be someone to play 2K with besides each other. Katie had felt completely unprepared for the unexpected guest. She didn’t know what food Riley liked but she made sure to stock up on the ingredients for mac and cheese for Paige. Tim simply just couldn’t get past the fact that his daughter knew anyone else besides Paige. He really couldn’t get past the fact that they had washed this hideous fluffy purple blanket, only for the owner to not occupy their home.

Azzi knows this because she feels it too. It begins the day after Thanksgiving.

Riley and Azzi are cuddling in the basketball player's bed. Riley has an arm swung over Azzi’s waist while her face is buried in her neck. Azzi rubs small circles on her back while scrolling through tik tok. She’s bored and antsy.

Azzi is restless. She spent one full week with her girlfriend Riley and she hated it. It’s not that Riley isn’t fun to be around; but she wasn’t Paige. She didn’t know her way around her parents’ house or have inside jokes with her brothers. She didn’t understand why certain tik toks were funny. She didn’t smell like vanilla or have blonde hair. And she certainly didn’t have big, bright, blue eyes..

Azzi missed Paige. The concept isn’t exactly new to her. Their entire friendship is built off of them missing each other. But even in the times that they’re apart, they’re together. There’s a never ending stream of phone calls and text messages. They have a widget app that allows the other’s picture to appear on their home screen. They wear each other’s clothes more often than not. Paige and Azzi are always intertwined in some sense. Paige and Azzi are more like PaigeandAzzi.

If she’s thinking about it, Azzi suppose that’s why it was so easy for her and Paige. It was so easy to kiss Paige. It was so easy to touch Paige. They had already known everything there was to know; secrets, crushes, dreams, and fears. This was simply just something to add to this list. Now she knows all that she did before plus some.

Now Azzi knows that when she kisses Paige right below her left ear, the blonde lets out whimpers that one can only dream about. She knows that when they’re making out, she should bite the older girl’s bottom lip. Azzi knows that Paige lets out the most pornographic when she kisses the birth mark on her inner thigh. She also knows that she has to give Paige praise because even though she’ll never admit it, she loves it when Azzi calls her a good girl.

So, Azzi knows it all. She even knows that Paige is in love with her. She can hear it in the way Paige speaks to her. Her voice held a certain softness that is reserved specifically for the younger girl. She can feel it in the way Paige looks at her; like Azzi can hang the moons and the stars. She can feel it in the way Paige touches her. The blonde is gentle but Azzi feels every emotion when they hug. It feels like home.

It felt like home.

She hasn’t heard that voice or looked into those eyes in a very long time. Azzi knows it is her fault. She took all she could from the girl without giving anything else back in return. She didn’t have anything to offer the girl; so she didn’t.

Now Azzi is home during Thanksgiving Break; holding a girl that isn’t Paige. And that’s why Azzi hated it; because she wanted those eyes with blonde hair. Everyday. She wanted every holiday with Paige and everyday in between. 

She can’t have that though. Azzi has taken so much from Paige; she doesn’t even know where she would start.

So, she pulls Riley closer. She isn’t Paige but she hasn’t lost her.

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[c4ttheart]

zuko x fem!reader, angst, 1.6k wc (whoopsi)

supposed to be a gn reader but i put that they went to the royal fire academy for girls ; also timeline makes no sense LMFAO sorry ab that

summary : he says he loves you. that’s not fair, that’s not something best friends should say to each other. but his favourite colour is blue, and so is yours.

"zuko" you breathe out, "you’re back."

he furrows his brows when he hears you approach. he notices the hint of surprise in your voice, and somehow, he doesn’t know if it’s a good thing.

a mumbled "yeah" in response leaves his lips, and you smile. you quirk your lips upward as if he had never left. as if the last time he saw you wasn’t three years ago.

you want to ask him more, hold his hand and drag him through the gardens or sneak out into the city buying things you would never even need. but he turns away, leaving you to stand there in the middle of a palace that isn’t yours. zuko did not return with the avatar. zuko returned with blood on his hands, the price to pay for the victory of your kingdom. but that doesn’t feel right. that is not the zuko you know. then again, they really aren’t that different, three year gap or not, as they soak in the glory of what they have done.

why does he think it’s an honourable thing to have caused the demise of a city ? all that for what, the privilege of bathing in warm water and gold again ?

he ignores you throughout the month that he is here. you thought you were best friends, but apparently his stay at sea made him forget. one could say you’re not on the same footing anymore, since he is promised to the throne.

and it’s fine, you are fine, you can deal with whatever temper tantrum he is having, or the fact that he doesn’t have time for you. you don’t know what he went through, so you try to be fair. but then mai comes into the picture, and all of a sudden you’re fourteen crying on the floor of your dorm at the royal fire academy for girls because word is out that prince zuko has lost his agni kai. and you didn’t even have the time to say goodbye.

it’s not like you were dating. but he can’t just do whatever he’s doing. you waited for him to come back. every day. you still referred to him as your best friend and fed the turtle ducks in his absence. and he just waltzs back into your life and breaks your heart again.

mai is a sweet girl. she’s only a year younger than you. you know she’s a good student. but she doesn’t deserve to replace you. she doesn’t know his favourite colour and why it’s his favourite. she doesn’t know half of the things about him that complete your personality.

maybe that’s how you find yourself thumping on zuko’s door. it’s probably three in the morning, and you’re tired with red rims under yours eyes. he opens the door after some time, with messy hair and his room lit with candlelight. when was the last time you saw him ? he looks so real, so close and you are so, so grateful that he is here and that he is him, that you break down. what was once fury is replaced with desolation as he looks at you funny in front of the door that leads to his quarters.

"i uhm, thought you were at the academy." he mumbles awkwardly. the opening is only wide enough for you to see his face. why is he hiding ? what is this conversation topic ? when have you become such a stranger ? his favourite colour is blue. so is yours.

you sniffle. "it’s the middle of summer."

"oh."

he nods and moves to shut you off again. your tears run thicker against your cheeks.

"you can’t close the door zuko. you told me you loved me. you can’t keep on turning your back on the problems that require something else than military attention."

you don’t even know how you manage to speak the words correctly, considering the hiccups and the sniffles and the ugly crocodile tears. you don’t know how you manage to speak so correctly considering the state of your heart.

he scoffs. "you’re the one that left me."

"i did not leave you, zuko. i chose to stay." you laugh and croak out.

"that’s the same fucking thing." he whispers under his breath, his eyes rolling every time you blink water from your eyes.

it’s okay. you know he still loves you, somewhere inside. deep deep down, you know he does. it’s not wishful thinking, because his favourite colour is blue, and so is yours. blue like the waves back in ember island, blue like the water the turtle ducks swim in, blue like the sky in which he wishes he could soar. blue like the flames he never got.

"you can leave now, y’know ? " he speaks again, every single drop of formality run dry on his lips when he sees you. is that a good thing ?

and yellow used to be your favourite colour. not his, yours. yellow like the sun, yellow like the small buttercups, yellow like the jewellery your mother would wear. yellow like his eyes. and then all of a sudden, zuko came along, and yellow morphed into blue. what he liked, you liked. what he did, you did. what he said, you said. somewhere along the way you forgot yourself in the name of love. and all that for what ?

"i-i don’t understand, zuko." you hiccup. you try to remember the warmth of the yellow sun but all you can focus on is the harsh yellow in his eyes. it looks much less appealing than blue.

"god, what more is there to understand ? people move on, (name). maybe it’s time you do the same. grow up a bit, and maybe you’ll get a real personality."

you gasp.

"oh and, it’s prince zuko to you."

this horrible feeling settles in your stomach. like needles, piercing over and over again. or a dam being broken by a tidal wave. you do not feel good. and he is dressed in red, like his curtains, like his door, like the walls and floors and windows and carpets and when you finally reach the gardens you have never felt so nauseous watching the fountain blue.

when you glance up, you realise the sky is red too.

your tears are all dried up now. you should go home, probably. but the sun is rising and the last thing you want to do is let your parents know you snuck out, that you’re not at all at the friend’s house you were supposed to be at. you’re seventeen, yet you are still so reliant on your parents. you should take control of your life, you think, but you still have a favourite colour and you still like the same guy than when you were a child. maybe zuko is right, you should grow up.

best friends should never be able to love each other. it ruins lives, love. you think it would have been best if zuko had never loved you at all. but his favourite colour is blue, and so is yours, because your personality is completely attached to his. maybe you loved him too before you even knew it.

you watch people get up and about from the tower you’re in. you don’t know which one it is, just that it is high off ground. when a bird squeaks, you bang your head against the wall. messenger hawks scare you.

something falls besides you, and it sounds light. a key, sitting still and yellow on the middle of the paved floor. it’s an ordinary key, yet it looks too unused to be one leading to the bird cages. you nervously look around, with puffy eyes and dried cheeks, because you should not be doing this but god, do you need something to get your mind off zuko.

fuck him and his little girlfriend. fuck him and his petty ways, fuck him and his fancy baths, fuck him and his golden eyes. he should have told you if he hated you. if he didn’t wish to be best friends anymore. you would have taken it easier than now. but he just vanished, and when he came back, he wasn’t himself anymore. maybe he lost himself like the people of ba sing se lost their lives because of him.

you spot some sort of square locker imbedded in the wall. it looks quite private but the key fits when you insert it, and when you turn it the door silently opens. then something falls on your face. it’s small and not very heavy. looks like a messy envelope when you pick it up. you open it subconsciously, like it was meant to find you somehow. maybe it was, because your heart drops when you read who it is addressed to. you skip the contents only for what you thought were your dry eyes pour again.

inside the box, is a year worth of letters. they’re all from zuko. and they’re all sealed with blue wax.

you don’t speak with zuko the following week, but rumours spread fast and all of a sudden the whole country knows he’s gone. it’s alright. you didn’t get to say goodbye the first time, so why would you now ? when you go back to your dorm at the academy the next day, pretty petunia flowers sit on your bed, sealed with a blue ribbon. you clench your jaw.

it is quite a feeble gift, but it is better than nothing at all. you keep them in a vase on the windowsill, even when you learn they mean resentment, because his favourite colour is blue, and so is yours.

it always will be.

i like read iver this once to make sure some sentences made sense that is it

this was supposed to b fluff but uh,,,,,

[littleredwolf]

Compromised

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Words: 1,438

Summary:  An undercover mission goes awry, but Bucky had good reason to blow his cover.

Warnings: Mentions of intended sexual assault, brief mention of using alcohol as a coping mechanism, blood. 

--

Your mind was a battlefield as you wrestled with your thoughts, contemplating your options and trying not to give into the panic that was creeping in. 

You'd been working undercover alongside Bucky for weeks, tracking an asset that could provide valuable intel on a new terrorist organisation that had recently cropped up. When your target had sent some of his cronies to request a meeting with the super soldier, you'd been less than enthused. 

"Don't worry, doll. I'll only be gone for an hour, tops."

Bucky's reassuring words rang in your ears as you paced the motel room, the ticking of the giant clock on the wall taunting you with every second that passed. He'd promised an hour, yet it had been almost three. 

Your worry gnawed at your insides. You couldn't risk compromising the mission, but you couldn't sit around waiting for the worst either. Digging out the burner phone you'd packed for an emergency, you dialled the only number you'd saved on the contact list. 

"Steve, I've lost Bucky," you blurted before he even had the chance to speak. 

There was a long pause before he replied.  

"Okay...how long has he been gone?"

"Almost three hours…"

"You didn't think to call sooner!?" 

You pinched the bridge of your nose as you felt a headache coming on. 

"I didn't know what to do! He was only supposed to meet the asset and touch base, it wasn't supposed to take this long!" 

"It's okay, Y/N, we'll find him," Steve reassured as he picked up on the increasing panic in your tone. 

"Is his tracker still on?" You asked after a moment's pause, listening intently to Steve asking FRIDAY to pull up Bucky's location history. 

"Hmm, it says here that he's been sitting in the bar across the street for the last hour…" he mused, sounding just as baffled as you felt. 

"You're seriously telling me I've been going crazy with worry and he's been sitting in a bar this whole time!? I'm actually going to kill him," you grumbled, grabbing your jacket from off your bed and slipping on your shoes.

"Try not to be too hard on him, Y/N…Bucky doesn't do things without reason," Steve offered, and you took a deep breath to steady yourself. 

"I can't promise anything, but I'll try. Thanks for your help, Steve." 

"No problem, just don't leave it so long before you get in touch next time, alright? And be careful."  

"I'm always careful, I'll let you know if we run into any trouble," you said your goodbyes and hung up, immediately removing the SIM card from the back of the phone and stomping on the device. There was no such thing as being too cautious when it came to undercover work. 

Satisfied with covering your tracks, you left your room and made your way across the street in search of Bucky. 

–

The bar was surprisingly quiet for a Friday night and it didn't take long to locate the super soldier sitting in a booth at the back. He was alone, which was a good sign, but one look at his brooding expression told you that all was not well. As you slid into the booth beside him the smell of whiskey filled your nose - Bucky drinking hard liquor was never a good sign. 

"A little early for the heavy stuff, don't you think?" You remarked, to which he simply shrugged and took a long, meaningful sip. He winced as he lowered his arm and you noticed he was favouring his left side. 

"You're hurt," you observed, leaning to get a better look and gasping at the dark patch on his shirt that he'd tried, and failed, to hide beneath his leather jacket. "You're hurt and you're bleeding! What the hell!?" 

Bucky shooed your hands away as you attempted to get a better look at his wound. "It's fine, I'm fine. It'll heal soon enough." 

"At least let me have a look, it might get infected!" You implored, to no avail. 

"Y/N, it'll be alright," he insisted, much firmer this time. You met his gaze and studied him for a moment. There was a vulnerability in his eyes that you rarely got to see, causing your worry to multiply tenfold. 

"What happened Buck?" You asked softly, placing a hand over his. 

"It doesn't matter," 

"Well it does to me…I've been going out of my mind with worry and all the while you've been here, covered in blood and drinking the one drink you turn to when things take a turn for the worse…you can't tell me it doesn't matter when clearly something has happened, so I need you to tell me." 

Bucky remained silent as he considered your words. There was no way you'd be letting this go anytime soon, so with a sigh of defeat he began to explain. 

"They took me to our target's safehouse and a load of his goons were sitting around a table playing poker…they were speaking russian but I guess they didn't realise I'm fluent because they weren't very careful about what they were saying…" 

He grimaced at the memory and you squeezed his hand for reassurance. 

"What were they saying, Buck? Was it valuable information?" 

He shook his head. 

"Then what?" 

Bucky took another swig of whiskey and studied his glass for a moment. It was clear from his set jaw and tense shoulders that he was uncomfortable with the subject matter, but you needed to know the truth. 

"They were talking about you…" 

"Why the hell were they talking about me?" 

"I'd really rather not repeat what was said," he admitted, fixing you with a pleading look. You pulled your hand away and straightened up. 

"Bucky Barnes, if they were talking about me then I have a right to know what was being said!" 

You hated how stern you sounded but you were growing frustrated in your impatience. With another grimace, he finally confessed.  

"They started arguing over a girl - going on about who would get 'first go' and who'd make her scream the loudest…" he paused, his jaw setting in a hard line. You were sure you could hear the glass cracking under the vice-like grip of his vibranium hand, and you placed your hand on his flesh arm, giving it a gentle squeeze. 

"I just assumed they were making vulgar jokes about their girlfriends at first…but then one of them said your name and I snapped…" 

You winced as the glass shattered in his hand, but he didn't even flinch. "They were planning on assaulting you, Y/N, as soon as I left with their boss they were gonna come here and-" 

"Shhh," you quickly soothed, reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind his ear and affectionately stroking his cheek. It was a forward gesture, but you'd been friends for long enough to know it was one that he was comfortable with. He leaned into your touch and sighed. 

"I messed up, Y/N, I've compromised the whole mission," 

"It's okay, Buck…"

"I should have just ignored them and sent you a message to get somewhere safe, but I couldn't help myself…" 

"Bucky…" 

"I should have controlled my temper - it's not the worst I've heard on a mission - but as soon as they said your name, I...I just lost it…" 

"James," the sound of his first name finally got his attention and he turned to fully face you.  

"I could never live with myself if anything happened to you on my watch, doll," he admitted, taking your hand from his cheek and holding it in both of his. "And I know I've fucked it all up, but I couldn't take that risk."

"It's okay, we'll figure something else out," you reassured with another squeeze of his hand. 

Truth be told, messing up the mission wasn't an easy pill to swallow, but when you considered what could have happened, it made the loss a little easier to accept.

"We'd better get out of here before he sends people after us," you stated, shuffling along the seat to exit the booth. You waited for Bucky to follow suit and linked your arm in his as he stood. 

"Thankyou for having my back, Buck, I appreciate it," you said, reaching up on your tiptoes and planting a tender kiss on his cheek. 

The red flush of his cheeks didn't go unnoticed. He threw his arm over your shoulder and pulled you close, kissing the top of your head as you left the bar.  

"I'll always have your back, doll," he promised with a smile. "'til the end of the line." 

[sankta-wraith]

I am officially done with Ten’s era! The End of Time was such a beautifully done episode, especially the end. I started crying when he did his speech to Wilfred, and I didn’t stop till he became Matt Smith. Having him see everyone for the last time was so heartbreakingly sweet. To absolutely nobody’s surprise, the one that hit the hardest was when he saw Rose. It’s not just because I am a hardcore timepetals shipper, although that is definitely part of it. His visit to Rose was different than the other ones.

With everyone else, he chose the moment in time very specifically. It was always a moment when a) they’d know him, and b) he could do something for them (save their life, tell them the name of cute guys at the bar, or give them a wedding present.) It wasn’t just so he could see them again, it was so they could see him one last time, the way they’d known him.

With Rose, he didn’t even know what year it was. He didn’t go to a specific time and place he just went to her. And he wasn’t going to say anything. He interacted in some way with everyone else, but with Rose he just stood there. If she hadn’t turned he probably would never have said anything. His goodbye to Rose wasn’t even supposed to be a proper goodbye. It was just a chance for him to see her, one last time, through Ten’s eyes. But then she does turn, and he asks her what year it is, and when she tells him 2005 it changes something, because this might be the last time he’ll see her, but for her it’s just the beginning. He might be dying, but in a few months, the Rose standing in front of him is going to meet a stranger in the basement of a shop and both their lives are going to change forever. For him it’s the end, but it’s all ahead for her.

It also brings his story with Rose full circle in a way. She is the reason he regenerated into Ten in the first place. He was born in front of her. She was the first person he was with Ten’s eyes, the first voice he heard with Ten’s ears. She is an integral part of Ten. It’s fitting, I think, that she is both the first and last person he sees as Ten.

The fact that he said goodbye to Rose last is so important, because everything else meant the end of something but seeing Rose meant new beginnings. I think it helped him view his regeneration as less of an end and more of a beginning.

He still doesn’t want to regenerate. When he said “I don’t want to go” it broke something in me. He’s done so much in Ten’s body. That’s the body he kissed Rose in (even if it was technically Cassandra.) Jenny was created from that body. He met Martha and Donna and Wilfred in that body. He was even human in that body. He’s loved and lost so much as Ten, and he’s not quite ready to go.

All in all, Ten’s era was spectacular. I don’t care how long this show goes on for, he will always be special to me. Goodbye David TENNANT. You did a phenomenal job, and I will see you in a few regenerations!

[luveline]

i love how you write roan 🥹🥹🥹 what if she sees reader upset about something (sad song or movie? not something super serious) and she cries because you’re sad and she doesn’t want you to be

ty for ur request ♡ fem!reader

Eddie lavishes like a king in the corner of the new couch. This is the life, he thinks, the sentiment strengthened by your foot warming under his thigh and Roan's entire body stretched out in his lap. 

He tucks her hair out of her face and presses a soft kiss behind her ear. He loves movie nights. A bowl of jiffy pop popcorn with extra butter and milk duds cools to his left, your body screwed up in a shape to his right. You're so endearing he's stopped being surprised by it, and Roan's his eternal love —he has the perfect girls for company every single day. 

"Eddie?" you whisper.

He and Roan both look at you. "Yeah?" 

"Does the–" You cover your mouth so Roan can't see. "Does the mommy seahorse die?" 

"You've never seen this movie before?" Roan asks. 

You drop your hand. "Well, I thought I did, but I guess I fell asleep last time?" You speak with your face turned toward them but your eyes on the TV screen, horror dawning in the pinch of your brows. "No way. No way!" 

What follows is a few long minutes of absolute silence as the movie progresses. The mommy seahorse, who's been sick the whole movie, says goodbye in a burst of colour. Eddie isn't sure if he loves watching something this sad with Roan this small, but he supposes she'll feel much worse than this as life goes on. Still, he hugs her nice and tight in case she needs it. She's been known to cry at movies: she cries every time the Part of Your World song plays in The Little Mermaid. 

Eddie's cried a couple of times with her. 

He's a little surprised when she tears up, though. Looking down at her with pursed lips, Eddie rubs the length of her arm, silky pyjamas cold under his palm. "It's okay," he whispers, pulling her to his chest. "Don't be sad, Ro, it's just a movie." 

Roan shakes her head, her shoulders shaking as she crawls out of his lap and into yours. You let your knee drop to accept her. Eddie's slightly offended until the TV screen goes white and the tears running down your cheeks shine in clarity. 

"Baby," he says with a snort. 

You laugh yourself as Roan sniffles in your lap. "Hey, what's the matter?" you ask her. 

"You're crying," Roan says. 

"You're crying." You sniffle and wipe her cheeks with your thumbs. "We're silly, huh?" 

Roan isn't perturbed by the movie, it's your crying that's affecting her. She does as you'd done, wiping your cheeks dry with her hands before enclosing your shoulders in short arms. "Don't cry, mom. It gets better at the end of the movie. They find the starstone." 

You sniff and laugh, your foot shifting from under Eddie as you fold yourself around Roan, almost protectively. "Are you crying 'cos I'm crying? Princess, they're just movie tears. I'm a softie." 

"She's a huge softie," Eddie says, lost for what to do besides sit there and watch. 

"Are you okay?" Roan asks. 

"Baby, I'm fine. It's only a sad movie. I'm okay, I promise." You smile widely. "See?" 

Eddie decides nobody is in any real emotional distress, grabbing the popcorn bowl. "You know," —his words stagger as he gets distracted digging for milk duds— "we should start watching other stuff if you guys are gonna fall apart. You're gonna have headaches and I'm gonna have to take care of you both. We could watch one of my tapes–" 

"No, dad," Roan says firmly. "No way." 

"Which tape? I love you, Eddie, I really love you, but I can't watch your bootleg of Live in Irvine again this week. I'm all Metallica'd out." 

"Hey." He holds his hands up. "Whatever." 

You and Roan share a guilty laugh. "Maybe I could watch it one more time," Roan says. 

"You just feel bad for hurting my feelings." 

Roan shakes her head, dark hair bouncing around her cheeks. "That's not true, daddy." 

He puts the bowl of popcorn on Roan's play table and leans back, arms over the backs of the sofa with forearms hanging down, cool. He raises his eyebrows at his pouting daughter.

"I– I actually like Metallica," Roan says, an arm behind your neck, her cheek brushing your cheek. 

You make a pleased humming sound and nuzzle your cheeks together. "Me too." 

Liars. "So we can watch it tonight?" he asks. 

You whisper something in Roan's ear. 

"Um, no. Y/N's too sad from the movie. I think you need to make her feel better, with, uh…" You whisper again. Roan's eyes widen with understanding. "With The Little Mermaid!" 

"Oh, awesome, so we're gonna cry all night?" Eddie asks. 

He gets up to put it in the TV. You drag yourself to his side in the corner of the couch and the three of you smush together into a bundle of warmth under a big throw blanket. When Roan cries during Part of Your World, you shush her and dry her cheeks affectionately. Eddie can't help laughing. He loves you both, but you're such gigantic softies it's unreal. 

"Would you still fall in love with me if I could speak?" you whisper. On screen, Prince Eric tells Ariel she can't be the one after all, her voice taken by the evil sea witch. 

Eddie can't see your face, his head resting on yours. Each word you speak vibrates up. "Of course I would." 

"My pick up lines were half the selling point," you argue. 

You're a flirt sometimes, he'll give you that. "I'd love you even if you had a fish tail instead of legs. Eric doesn't know how good he's got it. I'd miss your voice." He draws a short line down your arm with his marriage fingertip. "But you'd still be my Y/N." 

"That's Disney cheesy," you say with a scoff. 

But. You weasel your arm around Roan's front to hug him, too. Gentle, you press a kiss to the slope leading down from his neck. His flirting was cheesy for sure, and it worked like a charm. 

[mountttmase]

Be Bad For Once

Note - this one is a bit of a longie so strap in 😉 thank you to the anon for the request I kind of went a bit wild but I love writing female characters like this 🩷 I would really love some feedback as I’ve been working on this for a long time and it’s special to me 😂

Pairing - Mason Mount × Reader

Word count - 9.4K

Warnings - fluffy and angsty

You knew dating a client was off limits, but there was something about Mason that meant you couldn’t help yourself. He was cheeky, confident and unbelievably sexy. You were pretty sure you’d never been this attracted to a man before and the fact you couldn’t do much about it only made it worse.

Technically his dad was your client, but since he worked for Mason it was basically the same thing, and you knew as soon as your eyes locked onto his deep brown ones you were done for.

You never seen a man as a necessity in your life, sure they were good fun sometimes but you had more important things to worry about like running your company and making sure everyone in your life was well looked after. Accounting was difficult at the best of times but setting up your own boutique company to cater for a few select clients had always been your dream and now you were living it, you weren’t about to let a man with a pretty smile take it away from you.

Tony was one of your favourite clients, fun and easy going, so when you checked your calendar and realised you had a meeting with him booked in for today you let out a sigh of relief.

You almost lost your cool when you walked into the meeting room to find Mason sat there alongside him, trying you hardest not to blush when you shook his hand and hating the way your body seemed to react to him every single time you saw him.

‘Good to see you, Mason. I didn’t know you were coming’

‘Recovering from an injury so I’ve got a bit of extra free time. Plus when dad said he was coming here I couldn’t pass up the opportunity’ he told you, his voice sending a shiver down your spine and you had to refrain from biting your lip.

The meeting went as well as it could, what with Mason looking at you like you were something to eat most of the way through. His eyes seeming to be glued onto your mouth every time you spoke so you focused on only speaking to Tony, pretending he wasn’t even there until he started asking questions. That cheeky smirk of his making your insides quiver and you weren’t sure how much longer you were supposed to resist him for.

‘I’m just popping to the loo and we’ll head out’ tony announced at the end, quietly slipping from the room as you were packing up your stuff to head back to your office.

‘Not gonna leave me in here are you?’ Mason asked lowly, leaning back in his chair with his legs spread wide and you had to grip your laptop in order not to crawl into his lap and kiss his face off. But you walked towards the door and held it open for him.

‘Of course not, we can go wait for your dad by the lift’

‘Sounds like someone doesn’t want to be alone with me’ he said on his way passed but you took a deep breath and followed him out, trying not to look at the way his jeans hugged his bum so perfectly but thankfully his dad was ready and waiting for you.

‘You all set’ you smiled as you approached him and he nodded before you all said your goodbyes. Mason held your hand for a little too long after your handshake and you let your walls slip a tiny bit as you offered him a cheeky smile in acknowledgement to which he pulled you in closer. Thankfully his dad had turned around to walk out so he couldn’t see but you felt you skin tingle at being so close to Mason.

‘Don’t miss me too much’ he whispered.

‘Trust me, I won’t’ you replied, and with one last wink he was following his dad out the door.

‘You need to warn me next time he’s here’ your assistant and work wife Carly suddenly told you as you waved them pair of them out the door. ‘I don’t know how you sit in a room with him and not jump him’

‘It’s really not that hard’ you lied, walking back to your office as she followed you.

‘You’re telling me you don’t find him attractive?’

‘I’ve got eyes, of course I do. But I know his type. He’s as cheeky as anything and he’s a client. I can’t go there’

‘You’re the boss, y/n. You can do what you want. But if you don’t want to… Can I go there?’ She asked playful and even though you gave her a stern look, she knew you were being lightheaded. ‘Fine, but we’re all going out for drinks tonight so that means you too. You owe me a cocktail for not letting me have a handsome man’ she huffed in jest.

What was meant to be a few quiet drinks with the girls had turned into all of you bundling into some random club. It was packed, dark and loud but was definitely needed after today and you’d made up your mind that you were on the hunt for someone to talk you home after all the built up tension that today had bought you.

It was still earlyish, but no one had caught your eye and as soon as you went to the bar for a breather from all your dancing, a drink was placed in front of you straight away.

‘I didn’t order this’ you told the barman, confused as to why he’d given it to you but he sent you a soft smile and nodded his head to the side.

‘Compliments of the vip area’ he told you before going on to serve the next customer.

You had no idea what that meant, looking over to where he’d motioned and your whole body froze. Even in the dark you could recognise that smile and your mouth fell open before you quickly shut it.

Mason gave you a tiny wave and you fought so hard not to return it but you gave in, acknowledging him with a small laugh before he nodded his head over to the velvet rope that separated him and made a motion like he wanted you to come and join him. You shook your head automatically, knowing if you went over there that anything could happen but the way he dropped his lip like he was disappointed made you shake your head and pick your drink up, walking over to where he’d motioned to. He let the bouncer know you were with him before leading you through the space to a quiet corner where you could finally hear yourself think.

‘I shouldn’t be here, what if someone see’s?’

‘No one knows who you are to me it’s fine’ he shrugged, sipping his drink whilst his brown eyes burnt into yours.

‘How did you know I was here?’

‘I’ve got eyes everywhere’ he winked and you rolled yours as he shook his head. ‘I’m kidding. Carly makes a great cup of tea but quiet she isn’t. I could hear her shouting for you to drop it like it’s hot from all the way over here. From what I could see I get why everyone was cheering’

You felt your face burn knowing that he’d seen you let loose like that so you tried to deflect and change the subject.

‘And this? What’s this?’ You asked, nodding to the drink before confirming it was your usual. ‘How did you know that’s what I drink?’

‘Lucky guess?’

‘Why are you here? Won’t you get into trouble if you’re caught somewhere like this while you’re injured?’

‘It probably won’t look great, but I’d definitely say it’s worth the risk tonight’ he winked and you shook your head with a laugh. ‘Anymore questions?’

‘I don’t think so’

You carried on talking, not about anything in particular but it was nice to see this side of him. Thoughts about someone taking you home vanishing as your brain focused on nothing but Mason. Wondering what that tongue could do every time he licked his lips, or how his fingers would feel as he stroked over his glass. You hated how attracted to him you were but you couldn’t stop yourself from holding back from him tonight.

‘Right, I’ve got a question for you. What are you doing after this?’ He asked. A strange twinkle in his eye that you tried to ignore but you had a funny feeling you knew what was coming next.

‘I don’t know. Probably getting some chips from the chicken shop over the road and going home to sleep?’

‘Could I maybe tempt you with another offer?’

‘No, but I know you’re going to try’

‘Come home with me’ he stated and you almost choked on your drink as you felt him place his hand on your thigh.

‘What? No way’

‘Why not?’ He laughed, looking at you like it was the most simple thing in the world. ‘You can’t tell me you don’t want to’

‘Mason it’s not happening’

‘Look I get it, I’m a client and it’s wrong or whatever but I can’t get you out of my head. Tell me you don’t feel the same and I’ll stop’ he said seductively. His voice low as he continued to stroke over your thigh and you felt yourself shake your head at him to let him know you agreed before he pulled your chair closer to his. You gasped at the movement and watched how he laughed cheekily, pushing your hair back behind your ear before leaning in further so he could whisper into it. ‘Thought so. You’re always playing by the rules, just be bad for once yeah? Come back with me and let me show you how sexy I think you are’ he murmured, finally pressing a kiss to your jaw and you felt you tummy flip.

‘I need the loo’ you suddenly blurted, jumping off the seat and in the direction of the toilet and you heard Mason sigh as you left. He was overwhelming in the best way possible but you couldn’t think whilst his big brown eyes were looking into yours.

You knew you wanted him, you were just lying to yourself at this point but the thought of this opportunity not presenting itself again made your tummy churn. You knew you shouldn’t, you weren’t allowed, but that just made it all the more exciting to you and you made up your mind then and there that you were doing it. Even if it was just to get it out of your system so you could go back to having a normal client relationship you needed to have him in every way possible.

You weren’t long, coming out to find Mason waiting for you, gently grabbing your wrist so he could pull you into a quiet corridor where he pushed you up against the wall so he could cup your jaw gently. His body was pressed against yours, expression now serious as his eyes flicked all over your face with an emotion you couldn’t quite detect.

‘Im sorry. You know if I pushed things too far? I didn’t mean to’ he told you and you shook your head at him gently.

‘You didn’t’ you whispered but his face didn’t change.

‘You sure? I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable. I’m just really fucking attracted to you and you make me a little crazy’ he confessed, causing you to giggle and his face to soften ever so slightly.

‘You make me crazy too’ you whispered and before you knew it he was kissing you softly.

Your whole body felt electrified as soon as his lips touched yours. It all felt a little bit wrong even though it felt right at the same time and you pulled him to you so you were as close as two bodies could be.

‘Take me home’ you told him as soon as you pulled away and his eyes widened in shock before nodding at you gently.

He lead you by the hand back through the vip area, his friends clearly watching as you heard a few cheers and jibes from across the room but Mason silenced them with his middle finger before taking you outside.

‘You still want those chips?’ He asked with a smile, nodding towards the chicken shop you’d mentioned earlier but you didn’t want to put him through going in there and someone recognising him so you shook your head and stood a little closer to him for warmth.

‘Mason? I was just thinking. My house is way closer’ you told him causing him to laugh before passing you his phone to put your address in for the Uber. You weren’t waiting long, his hand firmly planted on your thigh the whole way there and you traced random patterns on his arm as he watched you intently. Finally getting to touch him in a way you’d always wanted to and from the look in his eyes he was definitely enjoying it.

You’d barely got the door open and he was already kissing the back of your neck, smiling into your skin as his hands were all over your waist and bum.

‘All I could think about in that bloody meeting earlier was getting out of your clothes, I can’t believe i actually get to do it now’ he laughed, watching you walk inside your flat. His big eyes not knowing where to look as you beckoned him in, finally shutting the door to the outside world so you could have Mason right where you wanted him.

The next morning you woke up to a pounding head and an arm around your waist.

You were frozen to the spot, knowing exactly who it was and when you peered over your shoulder your heart fluttered at Masons sleepy face.

You turned as carefully as you could in his embrace, settling back down so you could look at him for a little bit and he seemed to move closer to you in his sleep. His hand traveling from your waist down to rest on your bum as he nestled his face further into the pillow.

He was gorgeous, there was no denying it. From the crinkles around his eyes, to the freckles on his cheeks and the small pout playing on his perfect pink lips. You could look at him all day, but you were trying your hardest to suppress those feelings bubbling away inside you. Last night was supposed to be a one off, a way to let off some steam and move on from him and this weird fascination but it didn’t work. You wanted him now more than ever but you knew it was all wrong.

You slipped out of bed, wishing you had gone to Masons so you could of gotten away from him quicker but you grabbed some fresh clothes and made you way into the bathroom for a quick shower and a change before heading down to the kitchen, wondering what on earth you were supposed t say to him when he woke up.

Mason came in five minutes later, dressed in the same clothes from last night and he gave you a warm smile but you couldn’t return it, eyes dropping to the floor so you couldn’t see his expression.

‘So um, can I buy you breakfast or something?’

‘I don’t eat breakfast’ you told him bluntly and you knew he was about to say something so you got in there first. ‘I don’t really have time, I need to leave for work soon’ you told him and he nodded solemnly.

‘I guess I’ll get out your hair then’ he said quietly, dropping a quick kiss on your forehead before walking towards to front door. You wanted to call out after him, wanted to pull him back and throw your arms around him so you could kiss him properly but you knew your voice wouldn’t be strong enough and you let him go. Sighing loudly when you heard the door close.

It’s not that you regretted last night or anything close to it. Mason was attractive and funny and way better in the bedroom than you thought he would be. But the way he made you feel scared you. Exposed and vulnerable, like you were made of glass and he could see right through you. Your idea of getting Mason out of your system clearly hadn’t worked out how you were expecting it to and you could feel a dark cloud hanging over you for the rest of the day.

You got to work in one piece, planning to sit alone in your office all day and pretend you weren’t sulking over Mason when a knock on your door bought you out of your slump. Carly proceeded to walk in with a coffee in one hand and a brown paper bag in the other, placing them on your desk with a smile.

‘What’s this?’ You asked

‘Why don’t you open it up and find out’ she smiled and you opened the bag to find your favourite breakfast sandwich from a cafe just down the road, moaning as you took your first bite.

‘Oh Carls, you’re a life saver thank you’

‘Don’t thank me, I didn’t buy it’

‘What do you mean?’ You asked, fishing the napkin out of the bag but the writing on it captured your attention before she had chance to speak.

‘He came in and asked me to give it to you, I think he felt a little bit scared but how sweet. You must of made quite the impression in your meeting yesterday’

‘I slept with him last night’ you blurted and she nearly fell off her seat.

‘You what!?’

‘Keep your voice down’

‘I wondered where you went. You little minx I can’t believe it’

‘Look he was there randomly, we had a little chat and he came back to mine. The rest is history is they say’

‘What’s his dick like? Is it big? It looks big in those shorts sometimes’

‘We are not having this conversation right now. Or ever’ you laughed, noticing the excited look on Carly’s face but you knew you were about to let her down.

‘Well when are you seeing him next?’

‘Hopefully never’ you murmured and she gave you a confused look. ‘He’s a client, I shouldn’t of done it in the first place’

‘You can’t avoid him, by the looks of it he wants to take you out’

‘Carly i can’t’

‘You already have’ she laughed ‘technically Tony is your client but if you feel weird about it then why don’t you pass him over to Nicky, I’m sure she’d love to take him on’

‘But I like Tony’ you pouted. ‘He was one of my first clients I don’t wanna pass him over’

‘Just think about about it’ she laughed

‘I don’t need Mason. I don’t need any man. I’m fine with just me’

‘Oh honey none of us need a man. They’re just nice to have’ she winked ‘and I can’t think of anyone nicer than Mason’

She didn’t say another word, just gave you a knowing look before leaving you to your breakfast

You already had Masons number in your work phone, but it it felt weird to text him from there so even though it was probably way weirder to text him from your personal number, you copied it over and sent him a quick thank you for your breakfast and not even five minutes later you got a text from an unknown number.

You thought that might be the end of it with Mason, not hearing from him for a few days but that didn’t mean he’d left your thoughts. You thought after the weekend and a fresh start to the new week you’d be fine but when you arrived to a pretty bunch of blue roses on your desk on Monday you didn’t know how to feel. You knew they were from him immediately but you still checked the card, biting your lip to suppress a smile.

You couldn’t help but laugh as his cheesy words, quickly snapping a picture to send to him and the thought of talking to him made you a little bit giddy.

Your blood ran cold, instantly feeling sick as your heart pounded. You were so embarrassed but also confused and you could see he was already typing, not sure if you wanted see his next response but it was already sent before you had a chance to look away.

‘You’ve been here half an hour and I don’t think you’ve even turned your laptop on yet’ you heard Carly laugh. Looking up with as blush as you realised you’d been texting Mason and not doing much else. ‘Nice flowers’

‘He wants to take me to dinner tonight’

‘And you’ve told him no I bet’ she laughed, rolling her eyes. ‘Stop being such a wimp and go’

‘I’m not a wimp’ you protested

‘Yes you are, you know if you go you’ll enjoy yourself. That’s the only reason you’re saying no’

‘Is not’

‘Prove it’

You took a deep breath, picking your phone up to text him back, ignoring the butterflies in your tummy.

‘Happy now?’ You laughed, locking you phone and placing it on your desk before finally opening your laptop. Carly didn’t respond, just gave you a knowing smile before leaving your office and you tried to suppress the butterflies that were already swarming.

You left your office at six, ignoring the way Carly was winking at you but you finally checked your phone again. Mason letting you know he was parked up just around the corner, your heart leaping as you caught sight of him standing by the passenger door.

He was dressed in a beige collared jacket with a white T-shirt and black jeans and you sworn he’d never looked better. He smiled brightly, opening your door as you got closer and holding his hand out to help you in, but as usual in situations like this your miss independent spirit took over and you watched his face drop a little at the look you must of been giving him.

‘I’m not incapable of getting into car on my own’ you told him, watching him squirm slightly and your tummy dropped at the look on his face. You didn’t want to upset him in anyway and you felt awful as soon as the words left your lips so even though it went against everything you stood for, you took his hand. His eyes automatically flashed up to meet yours in shock and you quickly kissed his cheek before sliding inside. ‘So where are we going?’ You asked when he joined you, a shy smile taking over his face as he looked at you.

‘There’s this place that’s opened up not too far from me I thought we could try if that’s okay? I’ve got the menu up here’ he told you, passing you his phone and after a quick glance you let him know it was fine.

Things didn’t start out so great, the pair of you a little awkward still from the other night and you’d grown stroppy from the constant little things he was trying to do for you. Opening every door, holding out your chair and letting you order first. You knew he only meant well but you’d grown tired of it working in a male dominated industry and it made you feel like he thought you couldn’t do anything for yourself.

You tried to let it go though, relaxing as the night went on, talking about anything and everything you could think of from his family to you setting up your own company and your face began to hurt from the constant smiling. It was hopeless trying to be mad at him as he just melted you and for once you weren’t complaining. By the time dessert came he’d shuffled up right next to you so you could share and the subject of your romantic history and future came up.

‘So you’re telling me you’ve never had a proper boyfriend and you don’t want one?’ He asked, his head propped up in his hand as his looked at you with wide eyes and you laughed lightly at his expression.

‘Nope’

‘What’s you’re type though? Surely you have one’

‘Not necessarily. A nice smile helps but I’m not overly fussy’

‘What about growing up? You must of had like a celebrity crush. Come on, who’s the man of your dreams’ he teased, fluttering his eyelashes at you but you just shook your head in his direction.

‘I don’t have a man of my dreams cause I’m the woman of mine’ you told him confidently but he seemed a little confused by your words. ‘Not all of us grew up wanting to be a princess and have a man look after her. What’s the point of pining after something that might not exist when you have to power to be whatever you want to be? I always wanted to be my own woman with my own company who relies on herself and that exactly what I am. A man was never in the equation’

‘Okay, I have so many questions but I really need to kiss you’ he breathed, tilting your chin and pressing his lips to yours in a heavy kiss.

You couldn’t deny you felt the sparks, smiling onto his lips before he slipped his tongue into your mouth. You’d wanted to kiss him for about half an hour now so you were happy he’d taken the leap and even though public displays of affection were never really your thing but there was something about Masons kisses that meant you’d take what you could get so you let him carry on, giggling as he pulled away and continued to leave small kisses all over your cheeks.

‘That was sexy as hell’

‘Stop it’ you laughed, tapping him on his arm and even though he was keeping his lips off of you, his body stayed close.

‘I’m serious. But it raises another question’ he proved, and you raised your eyebrows so he could carry on. ‘If you’re so hell bent on being your own woman and not needing a man. Why did you say yes to date with me?’

It was a good question. One you couldn’t really answer straight away but you thought you might as well be honest with him.

‘Well, I can’t deny there obviously some level of attraction here’ you told him, watching him nod at you seductively and his eyes danced over you in agreement. ‘And now I’ve got everything else figured out so why not have a little bit of fun?’ You asked but his face faltered slightly.

‘Can I be honest?’ He whispered, looking back at you seriously and you nodded back. Unsure of what he was about to say but you wanted to hear him out. ‘I’m not here to have a little bit of fun. I like you, have done for a really long time and I was hoping we could make it more of a regular thing. If that’s not something you want then fine but I need you to tell me’

Your heart was hammering in your chest. You loved the fact he was so honest, laying his cards out in the table so you knew exactly where you stood with him and even though it went against everything you’d ever thought, you’d enjoyed your time with him tonight and you didn’t want things to stop here. The idea of hanging out with him more and developing whatever was going on here was more appealing than you thought it could be so you took his hand in yours and looked deep into his eyes.

‘You’re the only person I’ve ever let take me out on a date like this. The only man I’ve ever bent the rules for and the only one I’m quite happy to keep doing it with. Make of that what you will’ you told him, watching his face soften ever so slightly. ‘I’ll admit, when I slept with you last week it was supposed to be a one and done thing, like just to get you out of my system but it didn’t work. In fact it’s made me want you even more’ you laughed, looking up to find him smiling back at you brightly and you couldn’t help but reach up and peck him on the lips. ‘I hope that tells you everything you need to know. Now, did you pick this place cause you wanted us to try it or because it’s close to your house?’

‘Mix of both maybe?’ He winked cheekily and you squeezed his thigh in response. ‘You gonna let be buy you breakfast this time?’

‘Oh it’s a requirement’ you laughed, the nerves and excitement building up in your tummy at the thought of waking up next to him again.

After a small argument about who was paying the bill, he told you he would be as he invited you out and promised you could get the next one.

One date turned to two and then three until you’d been seeing each other for over two months. Time had flown by and even though it was all new to you, you loved having mason around and spending time with him. Sex was also a plus, not ever having gotten to know someone so intimately before and to say you were having the time of your life would be an understatement.

There were no labels, he knew better than to ask you and you knew you were just for each other but when you introduced him as your boyfriend to a friend at a work dinner you knew it made him happy. His hands not leaving you for the whole night as he stroked his thumb over your thigh.

You were a pair, but you loved that he never made you feel like you were dependent on him. You had your own separate lives and you grew to be his number one fan, just like he was for you. Supporting all your decisions and letting you rant at him about whatever you wanted to. Mason also promised to keep out of any work things so that you could still keep Tony as a client, confessing he only ever showed up to those meetings so he could see you and that half the time he never understood what you’re going on about anyway.

He was still Mason though, holding your door open for you, sending you gifts to work and trying his hardest to make you feel loved in his own way. It may have taken you a little while to come around but you secretly loved the way he took care of you, not trusting anyone else before to be so vulnerable around and so far you couldn’t fault him.

With Mason now in that weird middle ground between the end of the season and pre season, you seemed to be spending even more time with him than usual however tonight was girls night with it being a few birthdays that week in the office and you let him know you’d see him on Saturday for some well needed hangover cuddles.

Work had been slow all day, Mason on your mind just like always but a frantic knock on your door snapped your out of your thoughts and your tummy dropped at the look on Carly’s face.

‘I’m so sorry, y/n. Mr Jeffries is here and he seems pretty pissed. I’ve tried taking to him but he only wants to speak to you’ she told you, here voice shaky from fear but you gave her a smile to let her know you were on it.

‘Don’t worry Carls, I’ve got it’ you told her, grabbing his file before making your way to reception where he stood with his arms folded, his eyes dark and angry as the bore into you.

Martin Jeffries was nothing like any of your other clients, you normally took care of small independent businesses or individual clients but Martin was neither. Owner of a massive corporation that was only interested in paying as little tax as possible whilst being rude as he could. He’d always been described to you as a little eccentric but in your eyes he was just an arse and you didn’t want him as a client in the first place but he always paid his invoices on time and in the beginning he kept your business afloat. You weren’t sure if it was worth the hassle anymore though but you ushered him inside a meeting room to try and get to the bottom of what was happening.

‘What the hell is this?’ He asked, slapping down a piece of paper onto the table and even though you knew what it was, you still picked it up so you could glance over it. A £300 penalty from the tax man for failing to report his company shares by the deadline and whilst the amount was peanuts to him he seemed absolutely furious. ‘Are you going to explain to me why this wasn’t done?’

‘Mr Jeffries, I have called you and emailed you about this several times before the deadline but I never received a response. Unfortunately for share reporting the onus is on you as I can’t report them on your behalf’

‘You’ve always done it for me before’

‘No, I’ve checked your spreadsheet but the company always submits it. Sally normally does it’

‘I fired Sally’

‘Oh’ you breathed, it suddenly clicking into place what had happened. ‘Well Sally or no Sally, I can’t do it for you’

‘I’m not paying this for your incompetence’ he snarled, pushing the letter back to you and you were so shocked by his behaviour you weren’t quite sure what to do or say.

‘I strongly advise that you do. The longer you leave it the worse then penalty becomes’

‘No, you will be paying it’ he shouted, pointing his finger right in you face to try and intimidate you and unfortunately for you it was working but you refused to let him know that.

‘It’s nothing to do with me, you were given adequate warning and I’d appreciate it if you could keep your voice down, there’s no need to shout’

‘I will do no such thing. You forget, your business would be nothing without me and my custom. Now you fix this or I can make life very difficult for you’ he told you, hovering over you but you backed off and walked towards the door to open it, no longer comfortable in the room with just him.

‘I don’t like the way you’re talking to me and I think you should leave now’ you told him, making eye contact with Carly outside but the look on your face must of frightened her, picking up the phone immediately but you weren’t sure who she was calling.

‘I don’t know why I bothered with you lot in the first place. I should of known it was a mistake when you told me only women work here. You’re useless, the lot of you. I only stuck around cause you’re easy on the eye but you’re shit at your job and this whole thing is destined to fail. You think you’re so high and mighty but it’s only your tits that got you this far love, not your brains. Like a woman could ever build something like I have.? You clearly don’t have what it takes if you let simple things like this slip under the radar. You’re just a big joke. This is the real world, you’re not playing with dolls anymore’

You could feel your eyes stinging, unsure of what to do or say as the man in front of you tore all your achievements to shreds. You felt so small and hurt, like everything you believed in was a joke and you didn’t know how to respond but when two of your building’s security walked in, you met out a tiny sigh of relief.

‘How pathetic’ he laughed, walking towards the door as the two men lead him out. ‘You’ll be hearing from my lawyers!’ he screamed as the grabbed an arm each to take him away. You could feel your whole body shake as you ran back to your office, not wanting to see anyone for a while as you got yourself together again.

You were used to shitty clients every now and then but this was something else, every word of his cutting you right to the core and whenever you thought about it you could tell you were going to cry so you distracted yourself with paperwork, hoping to take your mind off of everything until Carly let you know that she’d spoken to the building security and they’d made sure to add him to the list of people no longer allowed to enter the building.

Your thoughts turned to tonight though, no longer wanting to be around the girls and pretend like you were fine when you were anything but. Quickly sending a text to Carly saying something had come up tonight and that you couldn’t make it. You felt awful, letting some man’s words effect you as much as they seemed to be but as soon as Carly let you know it was fine, there was only one other person you wanted to talk to.

Usually the idea of him making himself available for you on the off chance you needed him would make you roll your eyes in annoyance and whilst you were a bit pissy, you were too hurt to care right now. Just wanting to go to him and wrap yourself up in his warmth.

You knew he could tell something was up as soon as he saw you, but he knew better than to ask, just letting you get changed into some of his clothes before you watched a few films in bed. You told him you weren’t hungry but he still ordered pizza for the both of you and you ignored the way he smiled at you when you stole a slice out of the box.

The next morning the hurt had vanished, anger now in it’s place as your eyes adjusted around the room. Mason was still asleep but he was stirring so you shut your eyes and pretended you were still sleeping as you weren’t quite ready for his sympathy yet. He didn’t stay in bed long, getting up with a kiss to your cheek as he went downstairs and you could hear him rattling around in the kitchen making the pair of you some food.

The words of Martin yesterday kept repeating throughout your head, how you were nothing without him and it was your look that got you by made you see red and even though you tried to shut them out, you just got more and more angry. Eventually get out of bed to make your way downstairs knowing you’d have to face Mason eventually.

‘Here she is’ he smiled as you walked in but you just gave him a small smile, hoping that would be enough to settle him but you weren’t sure. He was almost done with cooking and soon enough he took your plate over to the breakfast bar and took a seat, pulling your stool out for you and the small act that you’d become accustomed too had you foaming at the mouth.

‘Why do you always do that’ you huffed, pulling the chair out even further before sitting down with a huff, your emotions getting the better of you as you look at him through narrowed eyes but he was staring back with a slight grin that just infuriated you even more.

‘What are you talking about?’

‘Pulling chairs out for me, holding doors? I’m not incapable of doing anything for myself’

‘I never said you were’

‘I don’t need you to do all that for me, I’m my own woman I don’t need it’ you told him and you knew you were being mean to him but you couldn’t seem to stop and his usually cheeky smile that you adored was plastered all over his face and irritating you even further. ‘Why are you smiling at me like that’

‘Cause it’s hard to take you seriously about not needing me when you’re wearing my clothes’ he joked but his face softened as soon as he realised you didn’t find it funny. ‘Has something happened?’

‘No’ you told him, but he could see the lies written all over your face.

‘You’ve been quiet since yesterday and now you’re being a meanie’ he pouted, pulling your chair closer to his so he could place his legs either side of yours. ‘I can’t help of you don’t tell me’

‘I don’t need you to fix anything for me I can do it’

‘Hey, I never said you couldn’t’ he told you with a slight laugh as he gripped your jaw to make you look at him. ‘please love, I hate seeing you like this’

A wave of guilt washed over you as you realised you were being unfair to him but you still couldn’t bring yourself to do anything about it. In the end he simply kissed your forehead before standing up with a small sigh so he could make a start on the washing up and leave you eat on your own.

The kitchen was silent and your appetite was out the window as you stole small glances of Mason from behind. As the minutes passed you felt worse about what you’d said to him until you were eventually getting up and wrapping your arms around his middle.

You felt him relax a bit, sighing lightly before he wiped his hands and turned around in your arms so he could pull you into a hug and you held him tightly until you were ready to pull back and look at him, His face sad but understanding and you hated the fact you’d made him feel that way.

‘Sorry’ you whispered before he leant down to place a soft kiss on your lips, pulling you up by your thighs to sit you on the counter so you could look at him properly.

‘You know you don’t need to act so tough all the time with me’ he told you gently, placing his hands on your thighs ‘I knew something was wrong as soon as I saw you last night’

‘Sorry-‘

‘Shhh, it’s fine’ he whispered, kissing you again. ‘I just want you to know you can talk to me, you know? I’m here for you. Whatever you need’

‘I’m just not used to it. Any of it’ you whispered and his face soften, cottoning on to you meaning not just having someone to talk to, but all the other little gestures that came along with him.

‘I know. But you know it’s all out of love right? I don’t do any of those things because I think you need me to, I do them because I love you’ he whispered.

‘You what?’ You gasped, staring back at his nervous face and pink cheeks, your heart pounding at the words that had just come out of his mouth.

‘I said I love you’ he smiled, sounding more sure of himself this time. ‘And I’m not trying to change you. I love how you’re feisty and how you don’t take shit from anyone. Including me. I don’t want you to be different at all, yeah? I don’t want you to not be you and I hope you don’t think that’s what I’m trying to do’

‘I’m so sorry, I know it may sound stupid but I’m still trying to get my head round it all. Having a boyfriend was never in my plans’

‘I know. And I’m not here to try and take over your life or anything like that. I understand you more than you think and I know you like being in charge of your own life and making your own decisions. I’m just asking if I can stand besides you while you make them. Or behind’ he winked, moving his hands so he could pinch your bum gently and you rolled your eyes with a laugh. ‘Equals, yeah?

‘Yeah’ you whispered.

‘But, if you need me to tone it down a bit, I’ll try. I don’t ever mean to make you feel uncomfortable but it’s just how I was raised you know? Opening doors, holding your chair out for you, buying you flowers or whatever else. That’s how my dad shows my mum he loves her and I just picked up on it I guess but if you don’t like it, I’ll try and stop’ he explained and you felt yourself getting upset. In front of was the best thing that had happened to you in a while, promising that he loved you as you were yet you couldn’t give him the same. Here he stood offering to change himself to fit your needs at the expense of himself and the injustice of it all made your tummy churn.

If he could take you as you were then you could do the same.

‘Mase, no. You don’t have to do that. I don’t want you to do that’ you told him, cupping his jaw so you could look him in his eyes. ‘I love you just as you are’ you told him softly and you melted at the way he smiled at you, finally hearing the words he’d been waiting for before he crashed his lips into yours.

‘Really?’

‘I promise. I really do and I don’t want you to change if that’s how you like to show it. I just…’

‘What love?’

‘I don’t like how you make me feel so vulnerable and open’ you laughed, hoping he’d get what you meant but his frowny face made you realised he’d taken it the wrong way. ‘That’s not a bad thing’ you laughed

‘Well it doesn’t exactly sound good’

‘I meant like I can’t pretend with you. You see me for who I am and no one else has done that’ you told him softly. ‘And I hate all this gushy mushy crap, but I can’t seem to help it with you’ you laughed, your heart settling at the way he smiled at you like he understood where you were coming from and he squeezed your thighs in appreciation.

‘I know you secretly love it. You wouldn’t come to me in your hour of need if you didn’t you would of just gone home’ he told you and even though you shook you’re head you knew he was right. You came here yesterday looking for his comfort after a bad day and the realisation made your head spin. ‘What happened yesterday love?’

You took a deep breath, looking up to him with tears in your eyes as you played with your fingers in your lap and you watched his face cloud over in concern. You’d never cried in front of Mason before so he knew something bad must of happened and you felt him hold you just that little bit tighter.

‘I had a really horrible client. Said some really awful things about me and the company like right to my face and I can usually take that sort of stuff but he was awful’

‘Baby’ Mason breathed, wiping under your eyes as your tears finally escaped but you let them fall, no longer worried about looking tough in front of him as you pulled him in for a hug. ‘Are you okay?’

‘Not really’ you spoke into his neck, feeling him pull you into him harder before he rubbed your back soothingly. ‘He made me feel so small and stupid. Like everything I worked for was nothing. All the promises I made for myself about standing up for me and my team just went out the window’

‘What did he say?’

‘Basically that I’m nothing without his money, I’ve only got this far cause I’ve got good tits and that this is the real world and I shouldn’t be playing with my dolls anymore’ you told him, your eyes becoming glassy as you shut them but you felt him go ridged in your arms, the anger oozing from him that someone had spoken to you in that way and he pulled back so he could grip your face gently. ‘You think I’d be used to comments like that now but-‘

‘No no’ he interrupted, his hard eyes looking at you as if he was furious that someone had spoken to you in that way and you felt a wave of relief was through you as your feelings were somewhat validated. ‘You should never expect to be spoken to like that. Not by anyone. I hope you told him where to shove it’

‘Not exactly. I was too shocked but thankfully Carly got security to take him away. He told me I’ll be hearing from his lawyer but he hasn’t got a leg to stand on so hopefully they figure that out and nothing comes from it. I terminated his contract though’

‘Good. That’s the least he deserves’ he told you, kissing your forehead and you smiled for the first time in a while as you felt the love pouring from him as he tried to comfort you. ‘I’m proud of you’

‘I’m not’

‘Why?’ He asked, looking at you confused. ‘Don’t let some idiotic man with a small dick get to you’

‘How do you know what his dick looks like’ you laughed but he just winked at you.

‘I don’t, but it made you smile’ he told you and you rolled your eyes before falling into him, letting him wrap his arms around you and hold you to his body as he stroked up and down your back. You couldn’t believe how at home you felt in his arms and how and you relished in the silence. He always knew when to speak and when to let you be and right now in his arms you couldn’t think of anywhere else better than here.

‘Thank you for looking after me’ you whispered and he kissed your forehead softly, letting his lips linger there for a while before he pulled back and gave you a soft smile.

‘Why don’t you let me take you out today? I know it was supposed to be for cuddles but I don’t want you to sit and moap about something that’s not your fault. Wherever you wanna go, we can’

‘I’m not really in the mood’ you told him but you could tell he wanted to make things better for you so you racked your brain to try and think of something, resting your hands on his chest and playing with the neck of his top. ‘There’s that farmers market in the park? Maybe we could have a look round and get some treats or something nice for dinner tonight? We could have a cute little picnic under the stars like we did that one time’ you asked and he smiled sweetly at you whilst nodding his head.

‘Of course. We’ll head out soon yeah? Cause that bakery stall always sells out of the brownies first and I keep missing out’ he told you with a laugh and you pecked him gently with a smile.

‘Thank you’ you whispered ‘for everything. I know i was a hard work at first and I’m still prone to a strop quite clearly but I’m so happy I have you. I’d hate to think what I’d be feeling right now if I was on my own’

‘What are you talking about at first?’ He winked and you tapped him on the shoulder in jest. ‘You’re worth a million strops I promise’ he told you, tucking your hair behind your ear. ‘But I’m glad I’ve finally got you too’

Without another word he picked you up by your thighs to walk you out of the room.

‘My breakfast’ you pouted but she shook his head with a smile as he started walking you back up the stairs.

‘Sorry love, brownies are more important’ he told you and you couldn’t help but laugh, wrapping your arms around him tightly as you hid your face in his neck. Finally feeling content in the arms of your man.

Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed :) I’d really love to know what you thought so please feel free to comment or drop me an ask, l'd really appreciate it 🩷

[upat4amwiththemoon]

Cheer you on

Summary: Even the cheerleader needs someone to cheer them on.

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x female!reader

Warnings: Wanda is kind of mean, i don’t know how cheer or football works

Word count: 4213

a/n: how do you write enemies to lovers trope without instantly making them friends?? This was supposed to be a series, but that obviously didn’t work out

Tags: @thought-of-you-and-me @rafecameronswhore @sayah13 @wandsmxmff @emsmultiverse @natashamaximoff69

masterlists | guidelines

“Maximoff, stay behind after class, please.” Ms Harkness, the chemistry teacher, stops Wanda as she steps inside the classroom. “I have something important to ask you.”

“Yes, Ms Harkness.” Wanda gives her a quick smile, walking over to her desk and takes out her textbook. It wasn’t uncommon for teachers to have a chat with her after class, she is one of the top students after all and pretty much adored amongst all the teachers. Although, she can’t help but feel nervous whenever they do so.

The class goes by quickly, they all do. Wanda has always liked school. She likes to learn nee things and considers herself to be quite good at it. She wouldn’t say she wasn’t like everyone else. Sure, she has never been the most popular kid in school, but she is happy with the friends she has. Being Pietro’s sister, who is on the football team, gives her a lot of opportunities to go to parties. And sometimes Wanda does go, but it’s not her main form of having fun.

“Maximoff!” Ms Harkness’ voice snaps her out if her thoughts. “Were you listening?”

“I am so sorry, Miss, just got lost in my mind. Could you repeat what you said?”

“Would you mind tutoring a student in chemistry? She’s a little behind and failed the last course, so, I suggested getting a tutor and she agreed.”

“Of course! I’d love to help out.” Wanda assures, it’ll look great on her college applications. “Can I ask who am I tutoring?”

“Y/N L/N.” Wanda’s smile drops at the mention of the girl’s name. “You know her, correct? You two have had some classes together.”

“Ah, hm.” Wanda clears her throat. “I know her.”

“Great! That’s settled then, can you start today?”

“Yeah.”

“Good, I’ll let her know and you two can meet up at the library after school. Thank you, Wanda.” Ms Harkness nods in gratitude and goodbye before going back to her stack of papers to work on.

Wanda blows air out of her mouth, silently cursing to herself for accepting the task before knowing who needed tutoring. She didn’t per se, hate her, she’d rather call it heavily disliking her.

Y/N is a rather popular cheerleader, pretty much everyone around school knows her. And Wanda isn’t a fan of popular people, except her brother. They didn’t necessarily do anything bad to her, but she doesn’t like fake people and she is 100% sure all the popular students are fake. Y/N being the fakest of them all.

Every time Wanda walks past her in the hallways, she is smiling and laughing while greeting practically everyone. No one can be that…good.

Wanda groans, she only has two more classes before the tutoring starts. She tries to remind herself that it’s for her own good as she goes to her next class.

The library is silent, more silent than normal, it doesn’t have a big use on after school hours, which makes it one of Wanda’s favorite places to spend her time.

She taps her pen against the table as she waits for Y/N to arrive. She already has her chemistry books and notebooks ready, wanting to get this over as soon as possible.

Finally she hears a pair of boots enter the room. Sighing, Wanda sits up straighter just before Y/N walks over to the table. “Hi, Wanda!” She smiles brightly and sits opposite of her. “Sorry for being late, cheer practice ran a little long.”

“It’s okay.” Wanda mumbles. “Do you have your books?”

“Yeah.” Y/N takes out a few books, setting them to the table. “Thank you so much for agreeing to help me, I can’t afford to fail another class.”

“Maybe you should focus on them then.” Wanda comments, mostly to herself, not really intending for Y/N to hear, but she does.

“What?” Y/N giggles quietly, sounding quite uncomfortable. “I do focus, I’m just very busy.”

“Mhm.” Wanda opens her book. “Lets start from page ten. Which parts do you have problems with?”

“Uhm, I’m pretty aware of chapters from 11 to 16, others are mostly a blur.” Y/N

“Six chapters from a 25 chapter book?” Wanda cringes. “Can I ask you why did you take an advanced chemistry class if you weren’t going to put some effort to it?”

Y/N frowns, staring at Wanda. “If you don’t want to tutor me, you can say so.” She mumbles. Wanda sighs, rolling her eyes. “I only need a little help and if you aren’t willing to help me, I can find someone else.”

Wanda scoffs quite loudly. “I am very willing. I just don’t appreciate people who take partying and nonsense hobbies more seriously than studying. Advanced classes are hard to get into, if you weren’t going to actually do it, someone more deserving would’ve gotten the spot.” She throws her arms into the air as she ends her rant.

“Right.” Y/N whispers, closing her book. “I stayed behind because of personal emergencies. I was very unwell and couldn’t get out of bed in the mornings. Ms Harkness was understanding enough to give me an opportunity to retake the test and ask someone to tutor me.” She shoves the books to her bag. “But I suppose some people don’t have the same empathy skills as her.”

Wanda stares at Y/N wide eyed. “I-“

“I’ll tell Ms Harkness we had some schedule problems because of my nonsense hobbies and continuous partying, so you don’t have to continue tutoring me.” Y/N stands up. “Bye then, I guess.”

“Wait!” Wanda stands up, but Y/N takes her bag and walks out of the library, leaving very conflicted Wanda behind.

Wanda uses the fork on her hand to repeatedly stab the very dry looking food on the plate, leaning her head on her palm. After using all of her morning and afternoon breaks to look for Y/N with no luck, she decided to give up and head to the canteen to eat with Natasha.

“Wanda.” The redhead pushes her shoulder so she’d pay attention to her. “Where’s your mind at?”

“Y/N.” She mumbles quietly.

Natasha sighs. “Listen, yes, you were unfairly mean to her, but I doubt she’s mad at you. You just have to apologize.”

“I would if I could find her.” Wanda slams her fork to the tray. “And I’m not upset because I got her mad, I’m upset because she looked so hurt when she left.” She turns to face Natasha. “And I don’t want to be the reason why she didn’t come to school.”

“I know. If you want to, I can ask Yelena for her number so you could text her.”

“No! Absolutely not, I don’t want to be a creep.”

“You wouldn’t be a creep, it’s normal to ask for someone’s number.” Natasha shoves food inside her mouth. “Besides, she’s my sister.”

“I want to apologize face to face.” Wanda comments. “Anyways,” she changes the subject, “talking about your sister, she has been glaring at me the whole day.”

“She’s just very protective of her friends, no need to worry.”

“I feel like she’ll murder me when I’m the least prepared.”

Natasha snorts at the comment. Truth to be told, she wouldn’t be surprised if her sister decided to kill someone for disrespecting her loved ones. Yelena and Y/N have been best friends since diapers as they were born close to each other. Just like Wanda and Natasha, who were born a year before the two.

Wanda gasps. “There she is!” She whisper yells, nudging Natasha harshly. She points towards Y/N walking towards a full table of people in her cheer suit.

“Well, go on then.”

“She’s leaving.”

“I think she has cheer practice.” Natasha watches Y/N and Yelena walk outside together. “You should talk to her before it starts.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m going.” Wanda stands up, jogging to the hallway after the two friends. “Y/N! Wait up.” Y/N and Yelena stop, turning around to see Wanda right behind them. “Can I talk to you? Alone?” She glances at Yelena.

“Uhh, sure.” Y/N smiles to Yelena who looks rather annoyed. “I’ll see you outside, don’t start practice without me.” Yelena nods as Y/N and Wanda walk inside an empty classroom. “What’s up?”

“I just really wanted to apologize, for yesterday. It wasn’t nice of me to assume why you failed the class or what you do on your free time.”

“It really wasn’t.” Y/N comments. “But it’s okay, I forgive you.”

“Great!” Wanda smiles widely. “So, we’ll continue the tutoring?”

“Ah, no. I already got Tony to help me.”

“Tony Stark?” Wanda frowns. Sure, Stark is smart, but nowhere near Wanda’s level. “Isn’t he like a really big douche.”

“Okay then.” Mumbling, Y/N purses her lips together. “Bye, Wanda.”

“No! Wait-“ Y/N ignores her calls after her and walks outside to her cheer practice. Wanda groans, dragging herself back to the table where Natasha is waiting for her. “Is Y/N friends with Tony Stark?”

“I think they’re like family friends.”

“Fuck.” Wanda slams her forehead to the table. “I just called him a douche in front of her.”

Natasha laughs. “You really just want her to hate you, huh?”

“Obviously not!” She doesn’t know why Y/N’s disappointed face is making her feel so bad, but she doesn’t like it at all. The feeling is gnawing her insides. “Do you think she’ll forgive me a second time?”

Natasha shrugs her shoulders, shoving food to her mouth. “I’m sure she isn’t that offended.”

“She looked like it.”

“Why do you care, Wanda?” Natasha furrows her brows together. She has never been one to worry about how others see her, so this kind of excessive overthinking was very unusual for her.

“I don’t want her to think badly of me.”

“But you can think badly about her.”

Wanda raises her head. “No! I don’t- it’s not like that.” Natasha stares at her with a questioning look. “I don’t think badly about her.”

“Within a day, you’ve entirely turned around what you think of her?” Wanda nods slowly, making Natasha sigh. “Did you ever even dislike her? It always seemed like you like liked her, but didn’t think she’d like you back.”

“What?” Wanda laughs. “No.” Natasha mumbles a quiet okay and goes back to her lunch, but Wanda continues staring at her, not getting the thought out of her head. She didn’t like Y/N. Sure, she doesn’t dislike her anymore, but she’d never like someone like her.

Right?

“What happened with Wanda Maximoff?” Yelena asks as Y/N is stretching and getting ready for cheer.

“She apologized and then she called Tony a douche.”

“Isn’t he?”

“I mean, yeah.” Y/N changes her position. “But it just made it look like she wasn’t really apologetic, you know.”

“Yea.” Yelena sits on the benches. She doesn’t cheer, but she’s always watching Y/N. She likes supporting her best friend, and they’re dorm mates, so they always walk back to their dorm together. “She’s weird.”

Humming, Y/N jogs small circles. “I don’t know. I think she just doesn’t like people. Or me, specifically.”

“The offer to beat her up still stands.”

“No, Lena.” Y/N giggles. “You aren’t beating anyone up, though I appreciate the offer.” Yelena mumbles something incoherent, she was really hoping to beat someone up. “You don’t have to wait for me every time, you know?”

“I know, but I want to. I like watching you cheer.”

Y/N grins at her. “You’re going soft.”

“Only for you.”

With a laugh, Y/N goes to the field as the captain arrives and calls them around her. They have been practicing a cheer routine for the football game for a while now, but it still needs time to be perfect.

Y/N, a flyer, gets ready to be lifted off the ground. Her hands are waiting steadily on two people’s shoulders. When the time comes, she jumps onto their hands and gets lifted to the air. There she does her tricks along with the other flyers of her group. At the final flip, one of the bases looses their footing, causing Y/N to come crashing to the ground.

The music stops and the group gathers around her. Yelena runs to her through the other cheerleaders, kneeling down next to her. “You okay? Where does it hurt?”

Y/N coughs, gathering the oxygen back to her lungs. She groans. “I’m fine.” Mumbling, she takes Yelena’s hand and gets up. Her leg is unable to take any weight and she’s leaning to Yelena heavily.

“I’m gonna take you to the nurse’s office.” Slowly but surely they make their way towards the office. Yelena is keeping her arm around Y/N’s waist, holding most of her weight so she wouldn’t have to use the hurt leg. “I’m gonna beat up the base.”

Y/N lets out an airy laugh. “It was an accident. These kind of things happen in cheer.”

“They shouldn’t happen to you.” Yelena mumbles as she knocks on the door. The two hobble in when the nurse comes to open the door.

Yelena helps Y/N to sit down. “What happened?” The nurse sits down to a chair of her own.

“Cheer accident.” Y/N moves her leg slightly, cringing at the pain shooting up her body. “My leg hurts a bit.”

“She can’t put any weight on it, and her back hurts.” Yelena comments. She’s standing right next to Y/N.

Rolling her eyes, Y/N lets the nurse examine her leg and back. Yelena has been overbearingly protective ever since they became friends, but Y/N is okay with that. That’s how she shows her love, by caring and protecting.

“It’s not broken, so that’s good.” The nurse writes something on the computer. “But you definitely can’t cheer for a while.”

“What? For how long?”

“Lets start with three to six weeks and see where we go from there.”

Y/N sighs, not happy with the news. The football game isn’t too far away, so she really needs to be practicing the routine for it. “I really can’t wait that long. Isn’t there any way we could speed the healing?”

“Not really.” The nurse sighs, taking out an ice pack and a pair of crutches. “Hold this to your leg. You two can go home.”

With a frown on her face, Y/N takes the ice pack and crutches, leaving the office with Yelena’s help.

The next day, to Y/N’s luck, Yelena became sick. Which meant walking, or limping would be more describing, through the school halls alone. Even though she has a lot of friends, she mostly spends her days with Yelena, that’s her best friend since diapers after all.

With a quiet grunt, she opens the cafeteria door, holding both of her crutches in one hand. After getting through them, she starts moving towards the line, trying to come up with a way how she’s going to carry her tray.

While waiting in line, she feels someone tap her shoulder. She turns around and sees Wanda. “What happened?” Wanda nods towards the crutches.

“Cheer accident.”

“Do you need help? Where’s Yelena? You could sit with me and Natasha if you want.”

Y/N’s eyes widen from the word vomit that just came out of Wanda’s mouth. It was almost too quick to understand. “Yelena is sick, so yes, I might need a bit of help.”

“Great,” Wanda steps next to Y/N in line. “I’ll help. I already got my food.” Y/N nods with a tight lipped smile. “I’m really sorry, again. For yesterday, saying Tony is a douche, I’m sure he actually isn’t.”

“Oh, he is.” Y/N comments and leaves it at that.

Wanda hums, staying quiet. Their turn comes quickly. Wanda picks up a tray, plate, glass and cutleries for Y/N, moving the tray as they do. She puts the food Y/N wants on the plate and fills the glass with water. After that, they start walking towards the table Natasha is sitting at. It’s quite slow, as Wanda follows Y/N’s speed.

“Hi.” Natasha grins at the two. “Did you get enough of cheering yet?”

“Of course not.” Y/N sits down carefully, setting the crutches to lay against an empty chair. “It’s still my biggest love.”

“Seems like a toxic relationship you two got going in.”

Y/N laughs. She’s fairly close with Natasha too, as she is Yelena’s sister and she has spent a great amount of time at their house. “I’m sure you already know Yelena is sick.”

“Oh, yeah.” Natasha scoffs with a shake of her head. “I have gotten so many whiny texts about it.”

Wanda tries to laugh along the two, feeling bit like an outsider at the moment. She wants to be closer to Y/N, though she isn’t sure where this sudden want came from. Or she just doesn’t want to accept it yet.

“Are you allowed to cheer at the football game?” She asks, wanting to be a part of the conversation.

“Uhm, I hope so. It depends on how fast I’ll heal.”

“Well, I really hope you get to cheer.” Wanda smiles widely.

Natasha smirks at the interaction. It’s so obvious to her, but she doesn’t want to pressure Wanda about anything she’s not ready to accept yet.

The conversation steers back to Natasha and Y/N talking about their shared things, while Wanda decides to spend the rest of lunch staring at Y/N.

After four weeks, Y/N can finally stop using the crutches and get back into practicing their cheer routine, which she needs to learn very quickly, as the big game is in a week. It’s Y/N’s school versus their biggest rival school. The schools have fought each other since the beginning of time, and they still haven’t quiet figured out which school is the best one. And neither one is happy with a tie, so they have to put their best game face on. And the pressure isn’t only on the football players, it’s also on the cheerleaders.

During those weeks, especially the time Yelena was sick, Y/N and Wanda grew closer. Wanda decided to throw out all of her previous impressions of Y/N and just get to know her, just like Natasha asked her to do many times before. She realized Y/N isn’t actually anything like she thought, which opened the feelings she had hidden a long time ago.

“Have you done this every night after you got your crutches taken off?” Wanda asks as she sits on the bleachers, watching Y/N practice the cheer routine on her own.

“Yes.” Y/N pants slightly. She has gone through the routine four times now. “I have to do it perfectly on the game night.”

Wanda rubs her hands together, starting to feel chilly. “I’m sure you’ll be great.”

“You don’t have to wait, you know? Even Yelena refuses to stay here so late.” She does a few tricks on the ground that she’s supposed to do in the air.

“I want to stay.”

A small smile grows on Y/N’s lips, but she hides it by continuing the routine. For a while, the music, coming from Y/N’s phone, for the routine is the only noise. No other student is out this late on school grounds, they’re either partying or in their dorms.

“Are you sure you aren’t getting too cold? You shouldn’t risk getting sick before the game.”

“I’m alright, Wanda.” Y/N takes a break, drinking some water. “I’m moving constantly.”

“Yeah, but when you move, you start to sweat and when you’re sweaty, you get cold easier.”

Giggling, Y/N drops the water bottle back to the ground, starting the music over again. “I know how it works, Wanda.” She goes back to her spot and starts the routine all over before Wanda can answer. “I’ll stop after this one.”

The routine is two minutes and 30 seconds long, but it feels shorter from both of their points of view. Y/N loves performing and Wanda likes to watch her perform.

Doing the final step, Wanda starts clapping at her. “Amazing!” She smiles, making Y/N laugh.

Y/N stops the music and picks up her things before walking over to Wanda. “Thanks for staying, you didn’t have to.” She starts shivering as the cold wind picks up.

“I told you, you would get cold.” Wanda mumbles, taking off of her jacket and putting it over Y/N’s shoulders, ignoring her protests. “I have a hoodie on, you have a small cheer uniform.” At the word small, Wanda’s eyes drop down to go over the whole outfit. Her cheeks flush the minute she realizes, but she lets out a breath of relief when she notices Y/N isn’t looking her way.

“Yeah, yeah.” They start walking towards the dorm buildings. Their dorms aren’t in the same building, but they’re close by, so it’s easy to walk there together.

“Hey, I’m glad you gave me a chance by the way.” Wanda huffs a breath of air out of her nose. “And I’m glad we’re friends now.”

“So am I.” Y/N bumps her side against Wanda’s, giving her a cheery smile.

The closer they get to their building, the more nervous Wanda gets. She waits until the moment they have to split up to speak up. “Would you, maybe, go out with me?”

“Like, on a date?” Y/N and Wanda stop walking.

“Yeah.”

Y/N gives her a small smile. “Ask me again after the game, yeah?” When Wanda nods, Y/N starts taking off the jacket, but Wanda stops her.

“Keep it until then.”

“Okay.” Y/N giggles, kisses Wanda’s cheek and starts walking towards her dorm building.

Y/N cheers the football team on with the other cheerleaders. They’re standing on the side, jumping up and down while waving their pom poms around. Half time is starting any second now, so her nerves are through the roof. She has performed in front of people many times before, but she has never been injured right before a show.

She glances at the clock. Three.. Two.. One. The loud buzzer sounds the half time is now. The group cheers loudly, getting the viewers spirits high, before running to the middle of the field. They go straight into formation, waiting for the music.

The music starts and they go straight into the routine. Y/N has a wide smile on her face as she get to occasionally glance the bleachers more clearly. If possible, her smiles widens even more when she hear and sees Wanda, Yelena and Natasha cheering her on.

She goes to her place, grabs the bases’ shoulders and gets into the air smoothly. Everything goes through perfectly and no one gets injured.

After the routine stops, Y/N runs back to the sidelines with a victorious smile on her face. She waves at her friends before turning back to supporting the football team on their second half of the game.

As the last seconds ti k away on the clock, everyone is on the edge of their seat. The score is tied, but there’s still time to score. One of the players on Y/N’s school is kicking the ball forward while running full speed ahead and trying to dodge the opponents.

Seeing there’s only under ten seconds left on the clock, the player kicks the ball with all their might and it goals just before the buzzer goes off. Everyone jumps up and shouts in happiness. Another win for their school.

Y/N runs towards Wanda, Yelena and Natasha, who already got away from the bleachers. None of them were really that interested in football, they mostly came to support Y/N. They cheer when they see her coming their way.

“Great job! You did so well!” Yelena yells as Y/N smashes herself into her.

“Thank you!” Her voice comes out muffled because of Yelena’s puffy jacket. “Thank you for coming, you guys.” She grins, hugging Natasha next.

“We wouldn’t have missed it.”

She laughs and turns to Wanda, hugging her just a bit longer than the other two. “Wait for me to get my things? Then we can leave.” Y/N runs off to get her bag and Wanda’s jacket, which she decides to put on. It is autumn after all.

The four of them start walking away from the celebration, they’ll have one of their own in a diner. Although, they will join the other students at a house party later in the evening.

Wanda grabs Y/N’s hand into her own as they’re walking towards the diner. She leans in closer. “Go out with me?” She whispers so the sister duo wouldn’t hear.

“Like a date?” Y/N asks with a grin.

“Yeah.”

“Okay, I’ll go out with you.”

Wanda’s cheeks turn red and her smile grows from the answer. “Thank you.” Y/N giggles at her shyness, leaning against Wanda’s side, she tunes into whatever conversation Yelena and Natasha are having, while Wanda continues smiling.

[outercrasis]

The Distance - Ch 13

Pairing: Din Djarin x Pilot F!Reader (reader is petite/no other descriptors)

Word Count/Rating: 4.8k / T (will become M/E in later chapters)

Summary: Time to meet a new (old) friend.

Warnings: some general angst (nothing too heavy), alcohol consumption

Previous || Series Masterlist || Next

Din doesn’t offer any additional details about Mos Pelgo or whoever you're supposed to be dropping in on. You put together a small bag, prepping for a couple days away from your ship. Tex seems more nervous than you do.

“I know buddy, but I'll still be on planet,” you placate. “It's a good opportunity to test out these long range comms too. You can send me whatever updates you want while I'm gone.”

Tex beeps lowly, reluctantly accepting the situation. You don't blame him – you can't remember the last time you left Tex or the Chimera for more than a single night.

“Got ‘em!” You hold up your old goggles triumphantly, finally locating them at the bottom of a long forgotten pack. “Knew I still had these somewhere.”

Peli is already waiting for you at the bottom of the Chimera's ramp. You can see why Din likes her – she feels like a crazy aunt that you only see once a cycle, while also being able to intuit things better than anyone else you know.

“What should I know about her?” Peli asks. You can't help but smile.

Thirty minutes later and you've given her the  rundown of the Chimera's basics. Tex has instructions to share schematics with Peli when needed and is officially given authority over the pit droids. He's not so secretly thrilled by that fact. Knowing that Peli is the mastermind behind the N1 calms any of your bigger anxieties about leaving your baby behind for repairs.

Din is already standing by the speeder bike when you’re done. It’s a bigger model that could probably support a sidecar, but there are none of those in sight. The only option is to sit on the bike with Din. You steel yourself, trying to push down your hurt feelings. There’s no point in lingering on them right now when you’re about to be in very close quarters with him. 

You give Grogu a couple pats goodbye and then shove your bag into one of the saddlebags already attached to the bike. 

“Is it comfortable?” Din asks. You're more than a little lost.

“My bag?”

He chuckles, the low noise just managing to bypass the vocoder. “No, the holster.”

It's the first time you've been able to wear it since he got it for you. Sure, you've worn it around the Chimera a few times, but never out in the world. “It's good.”

If you were in a better mood you might tell him that it fits like a glove – that you can almost forget you have it on. You don't know how he managed to find a holster that feels like it was made for you.

“Good.”

You climb onto the bike, moving yourself forward to make it easier for Din. He turns and says something to Peli you don’t catch before getting onto the bike behind you. It’s tight, but you both fit. 

You’re hyper aware of his body around yours. The firm, cool beskar at your back, the way his legs bracket around yours, his arms caging you in as he reaches up to the handlebars. You barely have enough presence of mind to pull your goggles down before he takes off, launching the two of you into the vast expanse of the desert.

You wish you could enjoy this more. This is the closest and longest you have ever been next to Din and yet you're stuck in a terrible mood. With nothing to distract you, his stupid words are running on a loop in your head. 

Just a pilot.

Even worse is that you're getting upset with yourself as well as Din. You don't know why you can't let it go. Why the words wormed their way into the worst part of your brain, plaguing you and making you feel childish. He probably didn't mean anything by it. You wish you could convince yourself of that.

The speeder bike is doing nothing to improve your mood. While the bike is capable of carrying two, that doesn’t mean it was built for it. Peli was right when she said it was junk – the seat cushion barely offers a modicum of support. 

Din’s position on the bike is so firm you can’t move or readjust at all. It was fine at first, making you feel a bit safer, protected by him on the dangerously fast bike. Now though, your body aches. Your refusal to create any additional points of contact between your bodies beyond what's unavoidable isn't helping either.

Your muscles demand to move, one of your legs half asleep from the position it’s in. Only your hands are free to move but you can’t decide what to do with them, so you settle for relaxing them in your lap until that gets uncomfortable after a while. Logically you know this isn’t actually Din’s fault, but the irrational side of your brain is winning. You feel trapped, stuck in one place on the machine until Din determines that it’s time to stop. You aren’t even sure of a way to signal to him to let him know that you need a quick pause to stretch.

You endure for a bit longer before deciding that you can’t continue. You don’t know how far away Mos Pelgo is and your body feels like it’s being turned into stone from inactivity. Even if it’s only for a few minutes, you need to stretch your legs. You decide to tap Din’s leg and try to look up at him. He gets your message because soon the speeder slows down and comes to a stop.

“What’s wrong?” Din asks.

“I need to stretch. I haven’t moved in too long and I’m way too stiff,” you explain. 

Din gets off of the bike first. You keep your eyes firmly planted forward, unwilling to watch and risk an awkward situation.

You stretch your arms and back first before moving from the seat. Your spine pops and you can feel your muscles rejoice from the new movement. You swing your leg around and go to step off the bike, only to have your legs give out and nearly fall face first into the sand. It appears that your leg was more than half-asleep in its crunched position.

You’re saved by Din’s quick reflexes, catching your arm and holding you up before you fall completely. “You okay, can’gal?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you mumble, pulling your arm from his hold. You do your best to ignore the painful tingles in your leg as blood flow and feeling returns. You scan the landscape as you continue to stretch. It’s desolate, countless dunes of sand as far as the eye can see. Yet the planet is beautiful in its own way – a sterile kind that is unique with its twin suns shining brightly overhead.

After about five minutes of stretching and moving around, you turn back to Din. He’s leaning against the speeder with his arms casually folded over his chest. He looks like he should be on the cover of Speeders Weekly.

“I’m ready. Mind telling me how much farther we have?”

You climb back on and Din follows. “About another hour and a half. Think you can hold on that long?”

You glance up at him behind you. “It would be easier without your giant body blocking me in, but I think I’ll make it.”

Din lets out a distorted chuckle at your barb. He gives your legs a quick squeeze with his own. You ignore the skip in your heartbeat. “You can move if you need to, just don’t fall off.”

“How can I, with you in the way?”

Din laughs again and starts up the speeder. You pull your goggles back down and he takes off, launching you back over the endless sand dunes.

Nearly two hours later, Din’s prediction a little off, you can see Mos Pelgo in the distance. The twin suns hang low in the sky and cast barely enough light to see by. The second half of the speeder ride wasn’t as bad. It was shorter and the suns sinking had alleviated much of the heat. 

You felt a bit more comfortable moving when your body began to stiffen which helped to prevent more pain. At some point you even begin to relax – if you ignored how uncomfortable the seat was beneath you it wasn’t so bad. Din’s chestplate acted as a nice backrest for you and you can tell he tried to position his legs to give yours more room. They didn't start tingling again at least.

Once you see the tiny settlement on the horizon you feel your stomach drop. Your palms are getting sweaty and you know it has nothing to do with the planet’s heat. This town clearly doesn’t have much and you wonder why Din made his way out here before. Did he track a bounty all this way? And who could compel him to return? Whoever they were, they must be pretty to come out here for a visit.

Din slows the speeder bike as you roll into town and you see a few people wandering around Mos Pelgo. You expect them all to stare in wonder or fear like what normally happens when Din comes into a town. Instead, you can hardly believe your eyes as they… wave? Are the people in this town actually waving at the big scary Mandalorian? Maker, what is this place? It’s unlike any experience you’ve ever had with Din at your side before.

Din stops the speeder outside of the cantina. He hops off and offers you a hand. You still feel anxious and a large part of you doesn’t want to take it, but you can’t fully trust your legs at the moment. His hand is firm in yours and you can’t help but feel a small amount of comfort at the touch.

The cantina is as small and cozy as you've ever seen one. The lights are low, half the tables taken up by patrons. There's a comfortable murmur filling the air that mixes with the jizz music coming from a jukebox in the corner.

Din guides you towards one of the rounded booths. You've never seen him this relaxed in a public setting before. His visor is scanning the room but the looseness of his shoulders tells you he’s not looking for a threat.

You figure you'll know this mystery person when you see them. Din might be hidden away under all that armor, but somehow the only the prettiest of people find their way to him. You've seen more than a few brave souls be turned away. Nerves get the better of you and you begin to absentmindedly pick at your fingers.

Moments later, a drawl comes from above you. “Well I'll be.”

You look up and see a tall, lanky but not awkward man standing in front of you and Din. He’s got a sideways grin plastered on his face, which should look more ridiculous than it does. His silver hair looks as though it was nicely styled like his short beard before the desert winds blew through it. His eyes are bright and you’re tempted to describe them as sparkling.

“Mando,” he says in a friendly greeting while sticking his hand out towards Din for a handshake.

“Marshal,” Din shakes the man’s hand. He turns to you and gestures to his acquaintance. “Meet Cobb Vanth, Marshal of Mos Pelgo.”

“Nice to meet you.”

Cobb turns his smile to you and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel yourself melt a little. You already understand why Din would want to come out here for a visit – this man could probably charm just about anyone.

“And just who might you be, darlin’? Don’t tell me you’re somehow that little green kid he had with him before.”

That makes you laugh out loud. “No, I’m not.” You offer up your name along with your hand to shake. Cobb takes your hand and presses a soft kiss against your knuckles. You have to admit, he’s smooth. Din gives a small cough from his side of the booth.

“Sorry there Mando, just couldn’t help myself,” Cobb says, winking at you. Oh, he’s very smooth.

“Sure you couldn’t.”

Cobb sits on your other side, across from Din, and hails the bartender over. He sets down three cups and an entire jug of spotchka. The Marshal must be well liked then, you think, if the bartender is willing to part with a jug so easily. Cobb pours all three glasses, which strikes you as odd, considering that he should know Din doesn’t eat or drink with others. Din doesn’t say anything about it though, so you keep quiet as well.

“What brings you out this way?” Cobb asks as he passes the cups around.

“Had the time. I was told you came back here after your time in the bacta tank.”

Just how many friends does Din have on this backwater rock? You thought you were getting to know one another – two loners who found each other – and here he is with a number of mystery friends he never speaks of. Maybe you had misjudged the closeness of your relationship.

“Nowhere else for me to go,” Cobb says. “Besides, the new arm works for intimidation purposes.”

With a flick of his wrist, a small blaster pops up out of the Marshal's robotic arm. It probably doesn't have any more power than a hold-out blaster, but it gets a message across. Din doesn't even flinch.

As close as you are to each other, you're able to see the gears whirring in his arm and follow the different lines and parts as they travel up towards his shoulder. His mod isn't the fanciest you've ever seen but it's still a work of art.

“Marshal, do you mind if I take a look?” you ask, gesturing towards his arm. He seems proud of it, so you don't think he'll mind the request.

He puts the blaster away, setting his arm down on the table in front of you. “Not at all. Just don't touch with that part there, sends my nerves ablaze if it's messed with.”

This new man is just as much of a mystery to you as the other one at the table. Din took months before he'd let you poke around at his armor’s electronic components and that wasn't even fully attached to his body. Meanwhile Cobb is more than happy to have you take a look while also revealing its biggest weakness.

Din and Cobb's conversation fades away as you look over his arm. This kind of fine mechanical work is always tricky, ten times more when you factor in the biological component. Cobb allows you to move his arm in whatever way you see fit, easily answering the questions that you’re mostly muttering to yourself. You ignore Din’s weighty stare.

“You’ve got a thing of beauty there, Marshal,” you say as you complete your observations.

“Well that's not a word I hear that often,” he defers. “And please, call me Cobb.”

“Somehow I doubt that, Cobb.”

He laughs loudly. “Well shoot. You've got one heck of a girl here, Mando.”

You glance over at Din. He's as stoic as ever. You're left floundering – no longer truly understanding your relationship with him or his relationship to Cobb. Irritation bubbles over.

“Not his girl. Just a pilot.” You throw back the shot of spotchka in front of you, ignoring the burn as it goes down.

“Duly noted,” Cobb says, giving you a small nod. You don’t look over at Din. You don’t want to see his reaction.

The three of you are able to fall into easy conversation from there. You discover the connection between Cobb and Din – You mean you haven’t told her ‘bout me? I’m hurt Mando, real hurt – and you decide you can’t imagine Mandalorian armor on Cobb. There’s just something about him that doesn’t work quite right with your picture. He’s too casual, too comfortable with himself to ever need a second skin over top. He's also too skinny you decide, not nearly broad enough to fill out Mandalorian armor as it should be.

You don't try to hide your fascination as Cobb regales you with the tale of the krayt dragon. "I thought he was a goner for sure, getting eaten like that. Just when I'm thinkin' the worst out he comes, flying out of the beast's mouth like some sorta hero."

You turn to Din, the spotchka in your system removing any embarrassment as you openly gape at him. "Is he telling the truth?" you ask. It's not that you don't trust Cobb, but the whole thing is so remarkable that it's hard to believe.

"He's making it sound like more than it was. I was covered in it's bile, I stunk for weeks after that."

You learn about Mos Pelgo, how Cobb came to be its Marshal, and how the town has been getting on since the dragon's death. He tells you about the run-ins with the Pyke Syndicate and how he came to lose his arm.

Through all the replays of Din and Cobb's greatest hits, you figure that if there are any kind of romantic feelings between the two, it's never elevated beyond some flirtation. It makes you feel foolish for ever getting jealous in the first place. Old habits and ways of thinking die hard, you suppose.

The spotchka goes down easy, a welcome distraction from any unhappy thoughts lingering in the back of your mind. Cobb continues to flirt with you throughout the night, serving as another nice distraction. You know you shouldn't encourage it, but his open attraction and the alcohol make it difficult to resist. Sure, he is a bit skinny, a bit talkative, and his skin isn't as sun-kissed as you preferred, but he could do. 

As the night wears to a close, you can feel sleep begin to pull at the corners of your mind. The long day in the sun combined with the alcohol you consumed start working together to make your body shut down. You hardly register as Din asks Cobb where the two of you can stay for the night.

You pull yourself out of the booth, slapping your cheeks gently to try and clear up the fog in your mind. You regain enough clarity to function without assistance. After Din grabs your bags off the speeder, you both follow Cobb as he leads you both to the single spare room above the cantina.

"Sorry it ain't much, but as you know we don't get many visitors out here," Cobb says as he opens the door.

He's right. It isn't much. Just a tiny square room with a bed and a dresser with a 'fresher attached. You're happy to note that it all looks clean though, devoid of the layer of sand that seems to cover everything on Tatooine.

"It'll be just fine, thank you Marshal," you tell him. Cobb tips an imaginary hat and throws a wink at you. He gives Din a wink too, which makes you snort. He then walks away, throwing a goodnight over his shoulder.

You shake your head, amused, and follow Din into the room. Rather than flounder about the sleeping arrangements, you grab some clothes from your bag and go into the 'fresher, determined to get off at least some of the day's grime. You're disappointed with a sonic shower, although you weren't sure what else you expected, being on a desert planet. Still, it provides some relief and you change into some clean clothes to sleep in. You splash a small amount of water on your face from the sink and gulp some down in your cupped hands.

"All yours," you announce as you walk back into the small room. 

Din doesn't say anything, but he goes into the 'fresher and closes the door just a bit too hard. Was he mad about something, you wonder? Although you've hit your second wind, the alcohol is still playing with your thoughts. Maybe he's just moody from the long day.

He doesn't take long in there, certainly less time than your small tipsy fumbles, and comes back out still fully dressed. You push yourself up onto your elbows in the bed and look him over. "Take off the armor," you tell him.

"You're drunk,” he responds.

“Yeah? And why does that matter?” you ask. Din doesn’t reply. You sigh and drop backwards to stare up at the ceiling. 

“There’s no way you can be comfortable sleeping in all of that metal. So just take it off and get in the bed. I’m obviously not talking about the helmet.”

You stay staring at the ceiling. It’s a fairly comfortable position, head cushioned in the pillows, while you try to not make him uncomfortable. 

You aren’t really sure why this is such a big deal to him tonight. He’s taken off his beskar in front of you plenty of times now. Yet maybe something had changed between the two of you again without you noticing. You were just a pilot to him, maybe that meant some of his walls were coming back up? Desperately, you tried to ignore the stab of pain that thought caused you. You don’t want to lose Din to the cold, distant Mando you met so many months ago, especially not without knowing why. The thought is too much to bear.

You turn on your side, away from Din, offering him extra assurance that you weren’t just trying to perv on him as he removed his armor. You know he's caught you staring more than a few times around the Chimera. Did that bother him? You should have asked.

Part of you knows you should be more nervous about sharing a bed with Din – particularly with this growing gulf between the two of you. This is intimate in a way, isn’t it? Sharing a space to sleep like this? Yet, whether it’s the influence of the alcohol or the exhaustion, you can’t find it within yourself to be flustered over it. It’s practical anyway. You both need sleep and Mos Pelgo only has the one room and bed to offer. One of you sleeping on the floor would be stupid. You try to convince yourself that if only Din would stop being ridiculous and get into the bed, things would be just fine again – right?

After what seems like an eternity, you hear metal pieces begin to clank down together on the dresser. A small smile works its way across your lips and you’re happy that for once it’s your face hidden away from his. He’s hesitant maybe, but not uncomfortable enough to keep the heavy armor on. Knowing that things are okay enough, your eyes shutter closed and a deep sleep carries you away.

Din is surprised to discover that you’re already asleep when he climbs into bed. You seemed so awake a few moments ago when he started taking off his armor. He’s still kicking himself for his reaction. 

Of course you meant for him to take it off to go to sleep, not... anything else. Why would you? You’ve been acting off ever since landing on Tatooine. You wouldn’t suddenly be asking him for that, not now. Not that you would want anything like that with him anyway – Din feels like a monster for thinking that way about you.

Looking down at you, Din ruminates a bit more. Somehow between all of the bounties, long hours, injuries, and repairs, you worked your way into his heart. Part of him doesn’t want to admit it still, that you have such a large effect on him, but it gets harder with every passing day. Touches and stares linger for longer and Din takes notice of your bashfulness every time he calls your name. Until today.

Din hasn’t been able to figure out what has caused the change. Soon after landing in Tatooine you brushed him off, distancing yourself from him. He knew the speeder bike situation wasn’t ideal, but usually you would have handled something like that with more tact, not the brash way you questioned Peli about another bike. You were tense for the longest time on the bike, not relaxing until the small break you took part way through the ride. Were you just upset to be stuck on Tatooine? Bothered by the beating the Chimera took? Or had he done something?

He was leaning towards the idea that he had done something to upset you. Just a pilot. Those words bounced around in his mind. 

He panicked when Peli asked who you were and those had been the first words out of his mouth. He hardly even considered the way they would sound. The way you repeated those words to Cobb, it felt like a slap to the face.

The town marshal wasn't helping anything either. Watching the two of you was making his blood boil. He likes the man, killing a krayt dragon together has that effect, but he has few qualms about punching the Marshal in the face right about now. He stared at you so openly, flirted so shamelessly, and you reciprocated. If Din was a lesser man he would have thrown you over his shoulder and carted you out of the cantina.

His mind continued to swirl and wander. Was it simply being stuck on Tatooine that made you change? Did being stuck here, with no agenda as you put it earlier, make you realize flying around with him was not the life you wanted? 

Of course you didn’t want to be stuck, tied down to a man who couldn’t even show you his face, who couldn’t even admit what you were to him. Cobb was able to make his intentions towards you obvious from the first words he spoke. You deserved that, not the brief, vague moments of intimacy Din had to offer.

Din looks away from you, trying to close his heart off from you, deciding that it’s what's best. He makes himself comfortable, lying on his back, helmet cushioned by the pillow.

He reopens his eyes just as soon as he closes them. You've repositioned yourself in your sleep, turning over and wrapping an arm firmly around his waist, face tucked into his side. 

The touch makes him nervous, unsure of how to react to the foreign embrace. His resolve to give you up quickly crumbles. Din’s never had this. He’s thought of it before, but it was all theoretical. This is real and unlike anything he ever imagined.

Part of him feels perverted for enjoying it as much as he is and so quickly after realizing you deserved more than him. You’re asleep and you fell asleep facing the other direction – you had no control over this, no consent. 

Despite those protests, he can’t help but sink into your touch. He repositions his arm, wrapping it around you, which causes you to shift your head up onto his chest. His breathing stops for a minute, terrified that you’ll wake up and pull away, but you remain lost in blissful dreams. The feeling of your warm body pressed against his, hand fisting into his shirt, the gentle rise and fall of your back against his palm while you breathe, is almost more than he can handle.

Din lies there for a few minutes, trying to commit every sensation, every sound you make to memory. It’s overwhelming and yet he craves more. With the helmet on in this position, he can’t get the right angle to look down at you. A risky idea runs through his mind and once again he ignores his protesting thoughts, following the path your touch has sent him down. 

He calls your name twice, softly, just to test how deeply you’re sleeping. When you don’t do so much as twitch, he decides it’s safe enough. 

Carefully, Din removes his helmet with his hand that isn’t holding onto you. He doesn’t set it down, holding onto it in case he needs to quickly put it back on. Vision unobscured, he looks down at you wrapped around his body. Din finds himself dumbstruck.

That moment secures your position in his mind as the most beautiful thing in the whole of the galaxy. You look so peaceful, any worries wiped clean from your face. Your mouth is slightly open and although Din knows that means you’ll probably drool on him, he can’t bring himself to care. Your hair is a beautiful mess and Din thinks back to the one time he was able to touch it before, back on Rishi with you half-conscious from a concussion. He's really got to stop having these moments while you aren't awake.

Moving more cautiously than he ever has before, Din dips his head down and presses a gentle kiss against the top of your head. He whispers cyar’ika to you and dares to kiss you again. With one final look and a shaky breath, Din slips his helmet back on. He knows he’ll never get to sleep otherwise, far too tempted to spend the rest of his night just staring at you.

No longer using a taglist -- If you want alerts, this fic is available and gets updated on ao3 at the same time, so you can subscribe on there if you want to know when I update!

also going to be mushy here and say thank you to anyone who has sent me a message, left a comment, etc on this fic. It genuinely means the world to know that people are still reading and thinking about this fic 🥺💕

[envysparkler]

Natalia gets out of the car to stare at a row of oceanfront warehouses that are, remarkably, not on fire.

“Huh,” she says to her partner.  “I thought you said Hood called this in.”

“I did!” Isha remarks, as upbeat as ever.  “Maybe he’s gotten therapy for those pyromaniac tendencies.”

Natalia snorts.  Fat chance.  The Bats are allergic to therapy—anyone who dresses up to fight crime is certainly not dealing with their feelings in a constructive manner.  Before she can point out to Isha that every one of the agents in their office are woefully behind on their mandated therapy—it’s hard finding a decent therapist that isn’t also moonlighting at Arkham, and no one wants to drive to Metropolis and traumatize those poor counselors—her phone rings.

She stares at the familiar name and exhales slowly.  “Boyfriend?” Isha remarks with a knowing smile.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Natalia snaps.  She’s not supposed to be answering personal calls while she’s doing her job, but Rafa can and will start calling everyone around her if she doesn’t pick up.  He’s gotten a bit clingy since he found out that Deathstroke is her neighbor.  Isha, for some reason, finds it cute.

“Hi Rafa, good evening, I haven’t been murdered yet,” she answers, turning away from Isha’s smirk.

“That sounds great, queriña,” Rafa chirps.  “How are the neighbors?”

“Existing,” Natalia replies.  “You know, you really have to stop these check-in calls.  Dick isn’t going to hurt me, Slade doesn’t take contracts in Gotham, and people have stopped believing me when I say you’re not my boyfriend.”

“That sounds like a you problem.”

“Rafa,” Natalia rolls her eyes.

“You would not be having these problems if you came back to San Diego like I suggested,” Rafa offers.

“I’d love to come back to San Diego,” Natalia says, “I really would, if it weren’t for the minor problem of all the people there that want me dead.”

“Gotham has people who want you dead,” Rafa says darkly.

“Gotham also has people who want me alive,” Natalia says.

“I want you alive.”

“And if Gustavo del Toro asked you to again get rid of the pesky FBI-agent-shaped thorn in his side, this time permanently?”

Silence.

“Goodbye, Rafa,” she says with a tone of finality, and cuts the call.  She’s lost patience with his protectiveness, coming as it does with terms and conditions.   She’d consider changing her number, but it didn’t work the last time, and besides, she has bigger problems than a sulky assassin on the other side of the country.

“How’s the boyfriend doing, Agent Padilla?” a mechanized voice asks.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Natalia growls as she spins to face the Red Hood.  Hood raises gloved hands in the universal sign of placation.  “Did your explosives fail to detonate or did you run out of bombs, Hood?  I know it’s too much to hope that you decided not to make our jobs more difficult by setting all our evidence on fire.”

“I prefer to think of it as cleansing.”

“And I prefer to get home to bed at a reasonable hour, but clearly that isn’t working out for me,” Natalia says coolly.  “What do you have for us?”

[nicohii]

down bad.

Pairing: Geto Suguru x Reader

Genre: Angst. Major Character Death. Mutual Pining.

Tags: You and Suguru are lovers turned exes. Happens before and during Shibuya.

Summary:  he left without saying goodbye and you are left to pickup the pieces during the aftermath. or where you make amends with geto's choice.

inspired by taylor swift's down bad.

He left without saying goodbye.

That's the thought that you go back to every time you pass his room. Empty, cold. He still had his uniform hung behind the door, some snacks left unfinished, some unopened chips, and his indoor slippers under that bed, unkempt.

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You were scouted at least a month after Suguru was. You did not understand at first when the scouts came to you, all you did was touch a classmate to try and heal their broken leg. Just like you always did in the countryside. You didn't even understand why it was a big deal. Your grandma could do it, your mom could do it, so why now, that you're in the city, is it such a big deal?  Turns out the Reverse Techniques has been passed down from generation to generation from your family – or at least that's what they told you. All you know back then is that it was free education, you get paid handsomely when you choose it as a career path, and you have one classmate who had the same skills like you do. You are not alone, there are others like you, so it's fine.

But the thing with being grouped with the strongest is you tend to donned the weakest even if you're just normal. It's not really helping that in the moments where missions might become a little bit messy that usual, you get last pick. You were grateful at first, but when everyone's becoming special grade, and you're still at 2nd Grade – at the same level as your juniors, it does wear you down a little. You can't help but feel like they're keeping you in your year just because of your age.

And in those days where you are lost in your thoughts, he was there. A warm hand touches your back, a warm smile, a soft voice that asks you how have you been? Have you been holding up? How is training going? He tells you stories of home, you share parts of you to him too. You lay yourself bare in white and black and gray, you lay even the ugliest parts of you to him. He tries to do the same too. Tries –  not because he doesn't want to be as open as you are  but that's just the way he is you suppose. In those shared moments where Suguru Geto unravels who you are, and you unravel Suguru Geto, you both get tangled. It's a lovely mess, you both suppose.

You both establish a sense of normalcy in a world that is too complicated from the outside world to understand. You fall in love in those moments where he finds peace in your arms when he gets back from a mission. He finds peace in watching you improve your techniques.

It's love, you think. You think it when he softly caresses your face when it's just the two of you; when he traces the outline of your lips; when he takes your hand in his when you are together, interlocking your fingers together. You feel it when he kisses your temples, when his warmth embraces you when he wraps his arms around you. It’s there when he tucks you snugly against him in the quiet moments.

It's love, he confirms. He thinks about it when the two of you become one in his room; when you softly comb his hair with you finger tips and kiss his lips, his nose, his eyes. You love him, he feels it in all his bones, it seeps into his nerves and it feels like he will be alright – as long as the both of you are here. He feels it when you look at him and offer him the rest, he so desperately needs just by looking at him. The voices and dilemma in his mind turn into silence. You are here, he’s here – that’s love.

He vows to himself that in this world, as chaotic as it is, if you too are with each other, it doesn’t matter. He doesn't care who is strongest. He doesn't care. He repeats that over and over until he is looking into your eyes after, and whispering how much he loves you. You say it back and everything is in place. He repeats it when you’re sleeping. He vows to keep this with all his might. He vows to keep you safe. He considers what the both of you have as piece of treasure he managed to find by himself.

It's after a very much complicated mission, one with Satoru. One where he had to witness someone dying in front of him, one that shook him to his core that you notice the changes.

He has become more reserved, even if you wiggle beside him in his bed to cuddle, to ask him what's wrong. He just tells you it's fine, he'll get by, and you don’t have to worry your pretty little head about it. But you do! You do want to worry about it, you want to know whatever distress is scrambling in his head. You want him to talk to you, you try to communicate, but the both of you can feel a chasm that has opened in him, that even you cannot stop him into heading into a space where he is too far gone for even you to reach out to him.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

He told you it was just a mission he had to go to alone, and you were sent to Kyoto for more training. That you will both catch up over the weekend when he comes back and when you come home. You bought him snacks for fuck's sake. The salty one's so he can keep it all to himself because god knows Satoru hates that stuff.

So how, in the span of 24 hours, did it become radio silent? How in the world, in the span of a day did he manage to annihilate a village, take two kids, and kill his parents.

It takes almost a week, you think, for them to get a hold of him. They tell you of how they managed to get in contact with him in Shinjuku and how he tells them of his grand plan, some deranged idea of mass murder and genocide. How Satoru practically made a scene outside of a fucking KFC... and all you can think of, aside from the atrocity against humanity is that how, in that time span, he never thought of coming in contact with you.

You are jealous. As shameful as it sounds, you really are. If you were as significant as Satoru would he have spoken to you one last time? If you we're as skilled as Shoko, would he have come to you too?

Damn Suguru, you could've sent me a text. You thought.

You wanted to get mad at him, actually – you were. First off, he made out with you in one of the darkest corridors, fucked your brains out, and dipped. Second, he told you he loved you, you were there, all along, in all of the steps he had taken in Jujutsu Tech from Point A and Point B, you were always there beside him. Clinging into his arm both literally and figuratively. You were there, he could've told you, you would've understood, but he didn’t. You asked him, you wanted to know. You wanted to bear the weight of it all. You were there – scrambling trying to uncover what it was that weighed him down, what made his chest hurt, what made his nights sleepless. The mess of it all, the ugliest parts of it all, you were ready for it, you made it known despite how weak everyone might’ve thought of you, you were ready to make a jump and a run for it. But here you were, alone. He didn’t even bother letting you get a peek of it. You we’re clueless. He didn’t even had the balls to tell you to your face.  

It's like you didnt have any right to join him in his silent battle just because. As much as you hated it, you wanted to blame him, to tell him how dare he to rob you of the chance to share the burden with him yet spit in Satoru's face that no one would understand when you've been here all along?

You waited. Waited. Waited.

 You wait for a text, a call, a shadow. But he never does come. You make a fool out of yourself in waiting, you suppose. Sneaking into his abandoned room (no one dares to touch his things). You lay in his bed; it still reeks of him. You wail into his pillows. You sneak a nap while you are at it at times, holding your own hand until you are in that space between sleep and awake to pretend that it's someone else's hand. His hand. You breathe deeply enough until his scent overwhelms you. You tried calling only to find out he changed his number. You light up cigarettes in his room even if you don't particularly smoked yourself in a pathetic attempt to make believe that he is still there. Tried finding remnants of the memories you had with him across the city and realize it’s no use because all it ever does is hurt you all over again, ten times over when you realized he isn't there. You swear to see his figure in all the places you shared, but deep down you know how big of a lie that is because you know how if he did not want to be found.

I love you.

He whispered that to your face. He looked at you in the eyes when he did. You said it back. So why is he not here now? Why are you left here wondering what you did wrong? What you had failed to do? Were you to weak in his eyes to even handle a single good bye?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

You graduate with only Satoru and Ieri. You have made peace with it. So much so that by the end of that year, all his things are already stored in boxes, and his room is already ready for new occupancy. You would be lying if you said you were not a mess as you took his uniform from the hanger and folded it before placing it in the box. You would be lying if you said that it didn’t hurt. Because it did. It still does. But it’s also that year is when you also decided that second-hand smoke can never be a second-hand presence to substitute a love that can now never be and you make amends and come to the conclusion that you won't be going anywhere if you keep on locking yourself in that room.

So, you vacate it, keep everything kempt, sealed.

It is when you also decide that you do not want this life anymore. That as much as being a jujutsu sorcerer is a noble cause with good money, you don’t want to stay in it anymore. Because as long as you're in there, you will always be reminded of him. It is shameful maybe, but Satoru and Ieri assures you it is not. That they too understand, that despite of it all, they will still be in touch. You heard a few years later that Nanami does the same. So there’s that. An assurance that divergence is normal. Suguru made his choice, and now you are making yours. That’s just how things are.

You open a small bar in Shinjuku. A little hole in the wall pub with warm tones and yellow lights. It is silent, a life that made you fall into a routine. It kept you occupied and busy – until you somehow almost forget the box of things that is kept under your bed; until you forget the smooth voice that whispered, I love you before you go to sleep; until you don’t hold your own hand anymore; until you forget that you needed someone. Until you forget that you hated him.

Your friends visit from time to time, and you bond over things that happened in high school, laugh about it, and talk about the time that has passed between all of you. No one mentions the fourth presence missing but it's an understanding. All you know is that he became a cult leader and you don't ask anymore. When you left that room, you vowed to have left the man you love in there too.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

You curse yourself, hips hurting. Leaning back and stretching, before restocking the fridge. Downside of owning a business you suppose. Closing time by yourself is one of the things you hate the most. Next time you won’t be so lenient and tell your staff that someone really has to be on the night shift aside from you, night differential be damned.

The door chimes jingle and you mentally curse yourself for forgetting to lock the door after turning the sign. This is the what? Fifth time this week? You don’t finish up stocking, not even looking up when you tell the intruder, "Buddy, the sign says closed."

"Just one drink is all and I know the owner."

You almost drop the bottle, his voice crawls in your skin until it grips your chest and you're back in that room. You're 17 again, smelling of second-hand smoke. You turn and see him making himself comfortable on the barstools, facing you. With that same smile and creases in his eyes. He has aged, finely at that. He smiles as if he had not trampled over you for the past decade, as if no time has passed and he has just come back from a long mission.

You grit your teeth so hard, you feel the muscles of your skin taut.

"What are you doing here?" you spat out and he softens. The years, despite having passed, favored him. He had been wider, more solid through the robes. His hair flowing behind him, and he walks with more grace and confident than you remember.

"I deserve that. I'm just a customer who wanted to drink." He responds, a teasing smile and raising his hands in surrender.

"There's a million bars in Shinjuku and you decide on a bar whose sign clearly says 'CLOSED'." You tell him. Your grip tightens around the bottle neck and you swear you are ready to hurl it at him.

"Well, you got me. Though I must admit, I do like the sight of the bartender. "You scoff at the smirk on his face. His years of speaking to his followers had made him still the ever-smooth talker.

You take a glass from the counter and put ice cubes in it, pouring him the whisky you had in your hand before placing a coaster and glass in front of him. He gives you a smile in acknowledgement before taking a sip bottoms-up and gesturing his empty glass. You pour him another one.

"Yeah well, you hadn't had the problem leaving that same bartender before. So, to what does she owe the favor of this great leader's presence." You tell him before placing a platter of salted nuts in front of him.

"To talk may be, a breath of air? Who knows." He pops some into his mouth before staring. His eyes never once leave you and it makes you conscious. Your body has aged, a little added weight in all the places that his hands used to explore, with nothing more than jeans and a sweater. Not that what he thinks about you matters anymore.

"You're still wearing my sweater." he says, taking a sip of his drink. You curse yourself. But you can’t meet his eyes so you opt to make your own drink. What is there to say?

Well, there are days, that I miss you.

This is a comfortable sweater.

Why are you here?

"Have a drink with me?"  He motions and you place your glass next to him, carried the bottle next to you and you round up the bar counter to sit with him. You feel his heat from where you are, mere inches away from him. You both stare at your reflections at the bar mirror in front. For a moment you wanted to fool yourself that this is what you could have almost looked like. An aged couple, with probably that small apartment you planned on renting out around the quieter parts of suburban Tokyo. The whispered plans comeback and he looks at you through the reflections and gives you a knowing look. He was thinking about it too.

"How have you been?" you ask him. You look down at the golden liquid in your glass. You swirl it around before taking a sip.

"Better." He mirths, "You?"

Miserable. Fucking miserable. Because you broke me and just when I'm doing better you come here.

"Good," you tell him. "How are the girls?"

"Great. They’re big now, would've been easier if they had a mother figure though."

You catch the implication he is getting at but also frown at it, what does he mean? You would have gone with him had he asked you and he didn’t. So why is he spewing this bullshit now?  It gives you a proper headache and you can’t find it in you to play coy with him.

"I don't know what you want me say, Suguru." you turn to him.  He looks down at you, with that hazel eyes you fell in love with years ago. There is a moment of silence before he closes his eyes slowly and swallows thickly. A mannerism you were able to catch on during your early years that apparently, he hasn’t shaken off until now.

"I'm sorry."

And for a moment he becomes blurred out before you feel the pads of his thumbs wipe your eyes, the palm of his hands warm on your cheeks. There is a burst in your chest that you cannot control as much as you wanted to. You want to chide yourself for it, but the honest parts of you know that those two words meant the decade of waiting finally catches up to you. You wanted an apology, here it is.

You grab his hands before pushing them deeper against your face, turning your head in one side to kiss the palm of his hand, just like you always did. Just like before. When he told you he loved you. You sob, and you cry and it is ugly but he does not make a move to remove them. He moves to gather the entirety of you into him, engulfing you in his arms until your face is mushed against his chest and you are swallowed in his robes. You feel the weight of his chin on top of your head and you just let yourself fall apart in those arms. You wail, you make a mess of his clothes. He does not smell like he usually did, he reeks of sanitizer and antiseptic. But that warmth, oh that warmth.

“You have questions.” His voice reverberates against your whole body. Vibrations in your ears as he seems to hold you tighter. You practically clung to him and you feel pathetic and desperate at the same time. Your mind swimming in a million why’s, your heart drowning in a billion memories.

The mind tried to forget, the heart can’t, the soul always remembers.

"You left me Suguru, you left me and I didn’t know why. I would have gone with you until the end. We promised. So why am I alone?" , you sob in his clothes and you feel him take a particularly deep breath. "You told me you loved me, I do too. I love you. I always have, I always will. You hurt me, but I'm still here. So why?" You grip the back of his shirt tighter.

"You don't deserve to be in this mess." Is all he says. His arms loosens as he downs his glass. You withdraw from him and fix yourself. His drink is finished and he stands up. You stare at him in question. What the fuck does that mean?

"I think you should go out of Tokyo for a while." He tells you as he fixes himself. You stand up too, grabbing his arm before he makes a move for the door. He can’t tell you his plan, because at the end of the day, his choice has driven both of you on opposite sides of the battlefield. He can’t risk you knowing his plan. At the end of the day, you loved each other, but believe in very different things. He’s on his way into getting his hands on the Queen of Curses, and you’re here trying to build your life.

"What do you mean, Suguru?' He tells you nothing.

He tilts your chin, thumb caressing your lip, pulling it down the way he did before.  His eyes wonder across your face, in this dimly lit room under yellow lights, you looked as beautiful as the day he left you. He wondered, in another life, in another time, in another universe, he would have married you like he always planned. He would have taken you, or maybe the world would not be so complicated as it is. He does not have any regrets in this life. He stands by the choices that he had made, there is no question about that. There is no room for any of it now in this life too.  But he hopes there is another one, and maybe in that, he would’ve been okay being reborn as one of the monkeys he so desperately hated – maybe all of you will, and he’ll get to raise the girls with you under different circumstances.

"I meant it, when I said before. I still mean it now." He tells you. "Do you mean it too? What you said earlier?"

You still love me?

"I do."

He closes his eyes for a while, that all he needed to hear. For a moment you see the boy that had always felt at home in your arms, the boy you shared all your firsts with. You are reminded by all the things that was. You are reminded that both of are slaves to the universe’s twisted wishes, he just had the guts to defy it.

"Can I have one for the road?"  He asks when he opened his eyes. You nod as you lean in. He doesn’t say anything after that, just tucks a hair behind your ear. I'll see you around is the last thing you hear before the door chimes jingle and you're alone again.

You’re back to square one. You leave the glasses in the counter. You lock the door, and you take his advice, taking nothing but a box of belongings of someone who you once knew with you.

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In his last moments, with a missing arm he tries to take a rest. He thinks of a next time, on ways to do it better the second time around and trying to catch his breath, he hears familiar footsteps. A smile catches on his lips. "You’re late as usual, Satoru."

He comes clean about the things he did leading up to where they are now. Him and Satoru talks about principles. He asks about his family, and it puts him to rest knowing that every single one of them managed to escape. He doesn’t have any last words. Satoru leans down to him.

"I don't regret anything." He continues, "I just wished I could've talked to her longer."

"She left before you attacked."

"I'm glad. At least curse me until the end." he tells the white-haired man who tells him nothing in return. Or maybe he did say something, he was just too busy envisioning a specific face, under yellow lights, his thumb on those lips. Those look of adoration directed at him. He would have loved to come home to those eyes, to that warmth.

I love you. I always have, I always will.

He thinks about how you’ll react when you hear of his death. He hopes you don’t beat yourself up for it. You are the last thing he thinks about before he goes to a bright place. There is a vacant bench in it.

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You didn't imagine your last moments to be like this. In the busy streets of Shibuya, trying to free of what is supposed to be the strongest sorcerer who apparently managed himself to get sealed. You did not imagine to return as a sorcerer only to be killed by some random first-grade curse you failed to saw coming. You suppose, it is fine, at least the civilians it was after were able to run away into safety, but being stabbed in the stomach is no fun.

You hate the taste of your own blood in your mouth and you can really use a drink right now. And on a random train platform too? It's fucking disgusting, you tell yourself. What is that sticky goo in your arms anyway? Is that gunk? Is that your blood? You feel your shirt getting wetter by the second and your eyes grow heavy. You don’t even feel it when you topple over.

The body forgets, but the soul remembers.

You faintly register being carried, a warm set of arms, in robes you suppose and the smell of antiseptics.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

You squint your eyes and you realize you are in a white room. Oh. You fucked up. Maybe it's the afterlife or maybe it's delirium but you know that it's not maybe, that the fact of the matter is, you reached the end. So much for one last act of redemption.

The after life, or whatever this is, is quiet. There is no screaming, no scent of death, there just is. So, you walk. The echoes of your shoes revert to your ears. You keep going, until you see a familiar form sitting on a bench.

Huh.

He turns and there it is. Those same hazel eyes.

"You're here."

"I guess I am."

He's 17 again, and so are you, it's been so long since you saw the eyes you fell in love with. There is a nervousness in them that you almost forgot, like he is asking for some kind of validation. Like they would break if you turned away. You stare down at yourself and realize it has been a while since you donned this uniform too. You say nothing and walk towards him, you take seat beside him.

He is 27 again when you sit beside him. Hair longer than before, body broader and crow's feet at the sides of his eyes. You are 27 too. In the same sweater he last saw you in.

"I have been waiting. Though I think wishing to see you here is both selfish and hopeful on my part. I just didn't think you'd be here sooner."

"Yeah well, here I am." You both stare at the nothingness.

“Time is different here.” He tells you. You nod.

“You were the last thing I thought about when I died.”  He says at so casually and you almost laugh at it.

“I didn’t come to see you when you died. I just heard it from Shoko and left it at that. I wanted to remember you breathing. But, to give you credit, I wasn’t able to think about anything when I died. I think that settles the two of us don’t you think?” you smile at him. The first time since he left you.

“I think my body took you, a part of my soul somehow remembers you even if I wasn’t there.” He extends his arm along the back of the bench. You instinctively lean towards him. Your head on his shoulder. His cheek rests on top of your head, mushed. You can feel his jaw moving.

"Do you still mean it? What you told me before we parted ways?” He asks again, in that same voice, in that same tone, because he still does. He means it. He admits that despite the bleak afterlife he got (he honestly thinks he deserves worse), having you here makes it heaven.

"Yes. I do."

[bleucaesura]

STOLITZØ- FORTY SEVEN

Stolas barely remembered the last fifteen minutes. Barely remembered Asmodeus telling him Blitzø had woken up. Barely registered his subsequent conversation with the doctor.

Somehow he and Asmodeus had convinced everyone to leave Blitzø’s room. But Stolas definitely didn’t remember anything he said to make that happen. Yet somehow, here he was, alone in Blitzø’s room, staring down at him and feeling like a lost puppy.

Stolas looked around the room - it’s emptiness after so many of Blitzø’s loved ones had just left - and he felt small. Insignificant in Blitzø’s life. He wasn’t sure what he was even doing...

“Just be here.” Asmodeus had told him. “I definitely wasn’t the first face Blitzø expected to see when he woke up.”

I’m sure he didn’t mean it like that…

“What if he doesn’t want to see me?”

Asmodeus rolled his eyes and sighed. “Stolas? Babe. Don’t be stupid. Mmkay? Just sit with the fool… Hell! Talk to him while he’s still asleep if that’ll help ease some of this massive tension.”

Asmodeus squeezed Stolas’s shoulders and looked him in the eyes. “But don’t mess this sh*t up and run off like that idiot did.” He nodded at Blitzø. “YOURS was the first name out of his mouth.”

Stolas blushed.

“MmHmm” Asmodeus smirked and rolled his eyes. “That’s what I thought.”

Asmodeus had swished out of the room and waved goodbye with a smug “Good luck, birdie babe.” Leaving Stolas alone, flustered, confused and frustrated.

Stolas paced the room. He knew the others had talked to Blitzø while he was comatose. But Stolas had never had the courage. He wasn’t good about talking about his feelings. He wasn’t even good at FEELING his feelings. Decades of Goetian repression had been drilled into his skull.

Stolas stopped and looked at Blitzø’s sleeping face.

If things don’t work out between us… This could be my last chance to say the things I’ve always wanted to say… Even… Even if he doesn’t hear me…

Stolas took a deep breath and walked over to Blitzø’s bedside with purpose.

Fake confidence and others will believe you have it… Or something like that… Right?

He laughed nervously to himself as he stood over Blitzø and looked at his sleeping face.

He looks so handsome and peaceful…

Stolas reached out a hand to caress Blitzø’s cheek, but stopped just short. He hesitated. He swallowed hard and pulled his hand back, clutching his chest.

Say what you need to say….

Stolas heaved a heavy sigh and dropped himself into the chair at Blitzø’s bedside. He clutched his hands in his lap, thinking of where to begin.

“I dreamt of you many times over the years, Blitzø.” Stolas pieced together his thoughts. “I met you on what was supposed to be the most important day of my life. I was given my life’s purpose. My destiny in the Goetia family.”

Stolas looked up at Blitzø. His heart clenched.

“Most important day of my life…” Stolas scoffed. “I realize now it was the most important day of my life. But only because YOU came into my life that day.”

Stolas smiled to himself. He closed his eyes and thought back to the moment at the circus. The beautiful boy swooping in from above. How his cheeks had burned and his little heart had done crazy little flips. He’d never felt like that before… Or since.

“You swung into my life like a hero from one of my books about pirates and princesses and adventures and romance... I was struck by your beauty the moment I saw you.”

Stolas couldn’t help but reach out and touch Blitzø’s face.

“You were a beacon of light to me after I’d been handed down a life sentence.”

Stolas tenderly stroked Blitzø’s cheek with his thumb. “A comfort to me in my gilded jail…”

Blitzø sighed and nuzzled into Stolas’s hand.

Stolas froze.

OMG omgomgomg OMG! Is he AWAKE?!

He sat there frozen in - mostly - terror for what felt like an eternity, but Blitzø didn’t wake. His breaths were slow and even.

Oh thank f*ck.

Stolas slowly pulled his hand away. His heart was beating out of his chest.

I was NOT ready for that…

Stolas sat in wide-eyed and rigid silence, watching Blitzø for the next ten minutes. He wasn’t ready to talk to Blitzø awake…

When he was sure he was definitely asleep, Stolas relaxed and continued.

“When you showed up at my home to be my friend. I couldn’t believe it. I’d never had a friend before.” Stolas’s voice trailed off. “And I’ve never had another since.”

“You’ve been a constant source of joy and hope in my life, Blitzø. Even those twenty five years you weren’t around. You were a dream I held onto. A hope for a better day.”

Stolas leaned over, crossing his arms on the bed, and rested his head on his arms. He looked up at Blitzø’s sleeping face.

“I realize now that was far too much pressure to put on one person. My happiness isn’t dependent on you Blitzø. You make me happy. But I don’t expect you to be the ONLY reason I’m happy. I’ve just been unhappy for so long…”

Stolas eyes stung with tears.

“I love you Blitzø. I want you to be happy. Even if that means I’m no longer a part of your life.”

Stolas buried his face in the bed and cried.

*****