#lost heart of depths
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Y'all, I just did some math and this whole series is going to take me until like June 2028 to finish if not later because I need a break sometimes.
THAT'S LIKE 3.5 YEARS! I HAVE 3.5 YEARS STILL OF WRITING!
I have plans for stuff I won't get to until 2026. Why did I do this to myself?
It's because I crave the validation isn't it?
#percy jackson#percy jackson and the olympians#unhinged series#something this way comes#all apart of something's game#monster's in the details#and because i can't help myself#a maze to raze#lost heart of depths#the scars of a warrior#a hero's reckoning
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There’s a certain type I can’t resist.
#okay I’m totally head over heels for these dudes#they’re like tall and skinny and have this awesome wild silver hair that’s just begging to be messed with#and those eyes#like deep dark pools full of secrets and unspoken sadness#you could get lost in them like wandering into the heart of an ancient forest disappearing into their bottomless depths and forgetting all#hold up I need to slow down#peter capaldi#doctor who#12th doctor#twelfth doctor#twelve#astarion ancunin#astarion#bg3 astarion#baldur's gate 3#bg3#baldurs gate 3
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Ah, it’s always a painful reminder to learn how fast people will drop you when you falter. My mask has too many cracks over the years to the point where I don’t think I can fully mask anymore, and it’s cost me my sociability in a new way.
#had bad depression and pmdd so I broke a little and kept mentally punishing myself for it and I think people are annoyed by it#sorry for the depths of my heart while my head is lost
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sometimes i think about how there's a route in shadow's game called "the miracle of love", where you do the dark missions up until meeting amy, then take the good route for the rest of the game—and i just really feel things for shadow. and in the ending when he goes over everything he did, he mentions how he had no reason to help amy, but did anyway, wording it in a way that implies he just wanted to. it's fucking called the miracle of love.
also there's a voiceline in team sonic racing where he says "you did okay, amy" in the gentlest fucking tone i have ever heard my god. and it's like the nicest thing he said to *any* of the characters in that game.
it's such a soft part of his characterization that kinda drives me nuts to think about sometimes.
#sorry for liking shadamy. it WILL happen again.#i know mosth is ''dubiously canon'' but i also think about how much he knows about the things she likes#or that he just doesn't really fight back when amy insists on bringing him along to a concert. or doesn't yell back at her while she is.#i just like to think that amy is ''shadow's heart'' in a way‚ that she reminds him that humanity is worth protecting.#and that he tacks amy on to his promise to maria in sa2. ''i have to keep my promise to maria... and you.''#and of course that can be platonic‚ her being shadow's heart in that she just inspires him to *keep* that promise and keep going.#even if he... doesn't necessarily always go about it in the right way. but his intentions are usually good.#he's not a villain‚ just an antagonist.#anyway i could go on all day about how much i enjoy the idea of him quietly pining but ultimately doing nothing about it#because it's a lost cause. silently loving someone who loves another loudly.#it adds a lot of depth to his character for me—and i just think it's cute. i like it as a personal headcanon.#BUT WHY DID THEY FUCKING NAME THAT ROUTE ''MIRACLE OF LOVE'' IT MAKES ME GO FUCKING KOOKIE!!!!
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Should I reread a supercorp fic OR start reading a completely different one? also, suggestions?
#jessrambles#ive been reading ficlets & oneshot and i think i want to read longer chapters now ive grown over the past few week jdjdjd#no but seriously i like getting lost in really in depth stories#but nothing to angsty im at level 4-5 on angst nothing that can traumatized my already traumatized heart#and fluff SO MUCH AMUT#what who said smut i said fluff and happiness#its pride we deserve a happy ending#supercorp#supercorp rec
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It’s hard to put on a bright face, in spite of everything (Patreon)
#Doodles#Flowey#UT#Underfell#Just regular Underfell this time! His interactions with Fellplates!Gaster are fun but it was also a great springboard of thinking of Just He#I've never really considered Underfell!Flowey - I love that he's duplicitous and tragic and terrible <3 So a happy Flowey was just kinda#Fine I guess? Kinda missing his depth tho isn't he?#That's what I thought initially anyway hehe ♪ I think he could definitely hold some lies in his belly still ♫#I think no matter what version you end up with - no matter what stimuli you introduce to him - you're going to end up with Flowey™#He's still just a lost little soul with too much Determination and the ability to use it to his own ends - and he's bored. And he's Tired#Especially of getting killed all the time - that whole Kill or Be Killed thing got old Fast - faster than it did in Undertale anyhow#He's still just a fearful little dust-coward in there <3 And when he loses his ability to come back? Oh I think that'd scare him silly#I don't believe for a second that he'd be any more merciful to the player if he didn't think he'd get something from it#Protection - new things to see or feel - maybe he'd even have something of a capacity to be appreciative that'd be nice#And I do think he'd be genuinely helpful! But I think it'd have a Lot of the same undercurrents as what happens to him in the Genocide run#Depends a lot on the player as well - maybe the kinder you are to other monsters the better he'd behave#But would it be out of fear or cockiness of still surviving haha ♪ I just love when he's the worst! He's my favourite when he's the worst!#I think the big question would be Omega Flowey - I mean. Even someone kind-hearted like Asriel became what he did#And Asgore was willing to give himself up to become a True Monster as well - I just :| I don't think he'd fare well lol#Maybe the rules are different in Underfell I dunno but if the rules are the same-#But then again ♪ I also like it when he has the opportunity to be terrible and then doesn't. For whatever reason - selfish - selfless#He's just my favourite :) And it's fun to imagine him acting differently from the same source/different reasons hehe
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the vampire diaries 8.16 // louise gluck, crossroads
“and damon, like the voiceover tell us, he was worried he would never see stefan again. it was just elena assuring him that there would be peace. that we’ve dealt with this other side of darkness for several seasons, but there’s also light out there and there’s peace, and damon will find it. if you search for it, you will find it. and we wanted to get that last moment to see that [...] damon found it too, and it looked just like his brother.” — kevin williamson
#defan#the vampire diaries#web weave#not really satisfied with this one but eh#i don't envy gifmakers who've giffed the tunnel scene btw bc the lighting. my god. a travesty#anyway. beating this dead horse of an ep to death to eke out every last drop of defan it has to offer#the contrast between damon's expression when reuniting with elena vs stefan kills meeeee#he's doing THE most for stefan but for elena... go girl give us nothing dot jpeg fjskfjdj#also in typical spn brainrot fashion while listening to damon's anguished declaration of love toward stefan in the tunnel or whatever#i kept comparing it to dean's 7 minutes of incest ahh speech in the finale and. my god lol#like i'm aware pitting damon i-stole-my-little-brother's-gf-and-let-him-drown-while-locked-in-a-safe-for-three-months salvatore#against dean i-sold-my-soul-for-my-little-brother-and-i-will-do-it-again-without-hesitation winchester#is unfair to damon but damon's speech is SO bland and half-assed in and of itself#and it absolutely PALES in comparison to dean's speech it's actually pathetic lmfao#i couldn't stop thinking abt dean confessing that he stood outside sam's dorm for hours before barging in#bc he was scared sam would tell him to get lost#and it made me think that the writers could've made damon's speech that much more personal and impactful#by maybe throwing in a line like “i didn't come back to mystic falls all those years ago /just/ for katherine”#it would've recontextualized their reunion in the first ep and given the hello brother moment so much more depth#give us something authentic! something the audience isn't privy to!#something only damon would know and keep buried in the deepest darkest corner of his black heart!#like!!! i'm sorry but damon's dying (not really) declaration of love toward stefan reads so generic lol#maybe it's a me problem idk i just think the speech could've been. well. better#(obviously i blame plec she gave kevin a whole lotta nothing to work with)#like once you sit down and start dissecting damon's words they don't feel /that/ weighted. if that makes any sense#ok so maybe i just wanted him to say he didn't come back to mystic falls just for kat ! sue me#ANYWAY. someone please for the love of god write me a post finale canon compliant defan fic#a defan-in-the-afterlife fic if you will#or a damon-being-miserable-after-stefan's-death-and-being-really-shit-at-coping fic. that works too#wowee these tags are a mess
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Thinking again about how Taliesin said Mollymauk was his interpretation of a mermaid, and...would that make Lucien a siren--
#mollymauk and lucien tavelle my beloveds#if molly is the tragic tale of a mermaid as a lost being without a soul#someone whos loved so much he earns a soul all his own and is saved by that love--#then...thinking of lucien as a siren#luring others to the Eyes#cree describing him as 'charismatic in his cruelty'#all this isolation and a longing for connection. lucien being jealous of how loved and happy molly was#trying to get the nein to become one with him because of a longing and terrifying heartache twisted into possessiveness#marking them and dragging them down to the depths of cognouza#lucien the nonagon as false promises and pretty words and dreams too good to be true#molly being the part of his heart he tried to carve away
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im enjoying metaphor refantazio so far i think my only complaints r that its so sad the 3d models r so bland when the games aes is so gorgeous and the world so fun.. and that i hope the characters become a little more three dimensional over time theyre all like intriguing but seem to only go fairly shallow… well actually i have a third which is that the ost is a lot more repetitive and uninspiring than id expected it feels a little bit like im back in fire emblem. its not a bad one it just. hasnt impressed me yet?
#im glad i got the dlc bc i get to change up the battle music sometimes when i want#but like strohl as the young lord who is somewhat sheltered due to his privilege but has a heart of gold and wishes to protect his ppl#hulkenberg as the devoted knight. shes overlapping quite heavily with heismay not that weve recruited him#as knights who lost their purpose failed their charges or whatever hes lucky hes got the dead kid motivation to set him apart#all the characters r enjoyable enough i just hope some of them come to have depths which surprise me or compel me more. tbh.#sometimes ive been getting the feeling that if nothing else id love to see more in its setting lol
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its in queue so sorry for being confusing you'll get the full picture in a month but. like. 'gacha art style' is not a thing. by the way. you only think its a thing because there are like 5 popular gacha games made by the exact same studio and the exact same developers saturating the market.
#.text#i hate the concept of gacha so much like if you ask me i will go in depth about how it is ruining the game industry#and outside of how disgusting it is to prey on gambling addictions and the like#i think it is genuinely upsetting that there is a large portion of gacha games that actually have really wonderful art and storytelling#made by people who want to make genuinely good things. because its their passion and its what they love to do.#there are dozens of gacha games with good story and art and characters. they should not be gacha games.#dragalia lost and world flipper and another eden and granblue fantasy and kingdom hearts and mementomori and nier#crippled by the fact theyre f2p mobile gacha games because thats whats 'trending' and earns the most money#dislyte and mhyk and octopath.#like what do you mean..... 'gacha artstyle'.... you just mean hoyoverse. just say hoyoverse.#so irritating. how much beautiful art is being lumped in with genshin. that feels gross#the fact of the matter is if you want to make a video game you have 3 options.#join a mobile game studio. join an indie studio. and join a company studio.#and the 2 most available options are in fact the first and last ones. and that job scene is not safe.#youre either going to create bad art or youre going to be given budget/paycheck cuts or youre going to be laid off.#or youre never going to share your art and story with the world because. you dont Want to make your own game.#you CANT make your own game. the fact we have indie games at all is a miracle. i dont think people seem to realize this.#ugh. i forgot what i was talking about.#as always there is wonderful things that can be found in a thing that should be destroyed.
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one of the timlex images of all time
#almost lost it in the depths of pinterest and had a heart attack until i could find it#and no idea where this picture is from i just see it and its timlex
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who is your favorite one piece character. *staring intently no pressure no pressure no pres (´灬⊙ω⊙灬`)♡
Idk some fucking guy that showed up on screen for a bit he was kinda cool
#luffy is a character that i feel everybody including the viewer is meant to kind of underestimate at first#to chalk him up to a naive fucking idiot that's gonna get himself killed by something more powerful because he overestimated himself#you keep waiting until he bites off more than he can chew#yknow you wait until he finally meets that match that makes him hesitate and think ''i'm not strong enough‚ i need to improve''#like so many shonen do nowadays where the main character gets humbled by someone more powerful than the level they're at#but with luffy that just.... doesnt happen#no matter how fucking awful and horrifying the series gets sometimes and how high the stakes rise with more genocidal villains#luffy acts as the humanized force of unshakable freedom that cant be silenced for good#luffy is a protagonist but he is also an all-encompassing metaphor that seeps from every pore of the series#and i feel extremely strongly about what he represents and the way he can change YOU and make u feel the hope u thought u lost#he is a character but he is most importantly a vessel for a story that‚ at heart‚ wants you to laugh and dream and love unabashedly#he is not a mascot lil shonen protag created for the sake of telling the viewer ''killing bad! friendship important!''#that motherfucker is built to inspire you to be shamelessly happy to fucking live and laugh and dream big idiot dreams#its hard to describe what he fucking Does to your brain to people used to consuming trash anime with basic niceguy protags#but luffy isnt just a protag. he is a feeling that you learn to adopt. but the depth of that cant be described until you feel it#its a shame people get so scared of the episode count because theyll never experience one of the most soul-changing series ever made#luffy is just one guy in a series full of characters so nuanced and fleshed out they could have their own damn shows
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I love that the totk devs saw us enjoy the guardians and we're like oh you like horror? we'll give you horror.
#the trees that come to life and jumpscare the shit out of me#the Depths. the entirety of the depths#finding a goddamn lynel in the Depths? unholy experience.#the horror of starting the game with full stamina and hearts and seeing the baddie immediately take them away with ease#the horror of that fucking health bar if you know you know#the horror of gloom in general#the horror of the themes. like wdy she lost all humanity doynou want me to kill myself?#the game is so scary for no reason BRO im dying out here#totk#totk spoilers#botw
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SO GLAD UR ALIVE VENUS MWAH -CHUBBY DARLING ANON <333
ohhh my dearest i’ve missed u so much :(( my brain has been FRIED for the past like… three months and it’s rlly getting to me ueueue… i AM alive!! nonsense spitballing here but i’ve been considering moving blogs. this one has just felt so cluttered bc on top of it being a side, i’ve been managing it plus numerous other side blogs… idk it’s just felt strangely overwhelming and i don’t rlly know what to do abt it… i ADORE writing SO MUCH!! esp for ppl who are into the same things as me but… every time i open my inbox or drafts i just stare at the text box blankly while feeling kinda nauseous… i’m not 100% on moving blogs mainly bc i’ve curated such a sweet community here and been able to share my thoughts with thousands… i don’t wanna lose that bc i do truly feel so safe with all of you here… just… kind of struggling my way through this weird burn out… maybe my word vomit here will cure me and suddenly my motivation will be back…
#srry not to dump this on u but#venus feelings they r complicated rn :(#idk what i’m doing!! i am just a 20 year old teenage girl…#and i’m feeling weirdly lost for direction#i wanna keep writing i rlly do#but i just don’t know how to make myself??#on TOP of this i do strongly feel like lots of my old work doesn’t rlly represent me anymore…#le sigh… we cringe on…#srry again i love u sm anon :( i mean it from the depths of my heart ily ily ily ily#chubby darling anon my beloved <3#me me me!#chit chats!
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I hate these fucking statues
#also. yiga clan in the depths? neat#anyway hiiiiiii its me. lost again. following those goddamn statues. so i can fight ganondorf with like 15 hearts.#honestly im so disappointed in nintendo because unless they pull something new out and quick#this is just the same old story over and over#GANONDORF is the main villain#why did you come up with demise and refer to him as the demon king if you were just going to wimp out#and still make him ganondorf?#'he killed sonia and thats why he had the secret stone' biting you biting you biting you.#what if ganondorf used to be a sage. what if the curse of demise finally caught up with him and turned him against the others.#what if he was really a puppet all along and we actually fight demise again#but nooooooooooooo my name is nintendo and if my story isnt just the same plot from the other games remixed#then ill start crying :(#listen i estimate maybe 20 minutes more of plot you need to do.#you need to stop fucking TEASING and show fi. acknowledge her at the very least.#and you need to man up and prove you arent just open world ocarina of time with aliens#totk spoilers#mb plays a game#sorry. sorry. this is the first zelda game i got to experience unspoiled and im just upset that they didnt even try that hard
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i got back into totk and although i firmly stand by my 'it could've been better' thta most definitely doesn't make it a boring game
#i was planning to fight ganon bc i've had the final showdown quest unlocked for a while now but have not touched it#but i wanted to fight the king gleeok first so i went to go that except i got lost and realized how little battery thingies i actually hv#so i was like 'that won't do!' and went to go get mine zonaite#and one thing led to another and suddenly it's 3 in the morning and i STILL haven't fought ganon#you can get so easily side tracked in totk it's just a lot of fun#after fighting the king gleeok + malice sand boss in depths i realized i very badly needed weaposn bc everything i had was breaking at that#point 😭#i spent an entire hour looking for a gerudo scimitar for urbosas sword. at least 15 of those minutes i was running around with the sensor l#oking for it before realizing that it beeps on npcs with it#and then i just fawking gave up#then i went to rito village to try & get revalis bow but couldn't find a swallow bow so i quickly gave up after learning my lesson with th#scimitar and just wandered around the outskirts before finding some sky islands i hadn't vitsited yet above the village ^^#& then i think i fought the lynels for majoras mask which got me a shit ton of stuff#<- but it was also a pain in the ass bc i literally forgot to fuse shit together prior to entering & so i was scrambling to fuse things#together inbetween lynel fights 😭#i ended up beating them but i had like 4 hearts bc everything else was gloomified bc my dumbass also always forgets to cook up#gloom repelling food#<- plus i am also trying to save my sundelions to upgrade the champions tunic#hv i told u guys that i drew the master sword & then realized I didn't hv a tracker on zelda anymore so i couldn't just find her whenever i#needed materials from her so i went back to my save before i got the sword so i could keep tracking her lol#i then put off pulling the sword forever . i hv it now but it took me a while
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