#lost during birth
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
the black swan all drawing what they think sophie will look like and joking about her having brown eyes because she’s part horse
the room was very quiet when forkle and livvy got back from her birth
#livvy started laughing during sophie’s birth#forkle had to take her outside to calm down#kotlc#kotlc fandom#keeper of the lost cities#kotlc sophie#sophie foster#kotlc forkle#mr forkle#kotlc livvy#livvy sonden#kotlc collective#kotlc black swan
124 notes
·
View notes
Note
So if Husk is a trans man, and his kid Violet is from when he was alive ... was he the one who gave birth to her? And does that mean that he wasn't out as a trans man at the time? And that his partner was a man?
He was in fact the one to give birth to her yes, but no one knew he was trans; he kept it hidden and bounced from place to place before anyone could start to question him 💀 he was on his own when Violet was born (terrible idea but he didn't want to risk being outed by going to a hospital)
Omg the partner thing is interesting; they split before husk realised there was a baby in the picture, and the partner never knew. Until me and albo accidentally made a whole arc of said partner wanting to get redeemed at the hotel cause they're also in hell, and now it's a whole thing because a big part of why they split was due to transphobia from the partner but since landing in hell they've realised a lot of that was actually internalised because they are also trans and it is a wholeass arc of this au now LOL
#drag replies#hazbin hotel#huskerdust fambly#the partner arc snuck up on us out of nowhere I stg#and it last like. two years LOL#takes place between rosé and the twins!! she's a lil toddler during it#albo was the one to suggest the partner also being trans but not. knowing that during the relationship#so all their internalised shit caused problems#and I lost my fuckin MIND#so here we are ✨ because that's INTERESTING#emotional over that whole arc tbh. it was not at all planned but it's become one of my faves#also husk going through the whole pregnancy and then birth of violet On His Own fucked him UP#and we get the consequences of all that unaddressed trauma during the rosé pregnancy#listen yous may see mainly the happy fun stuff here but there is a LOT of emotions and trauma in this au#that we have put a lot of thought and care into 🥲💖#thank you for asking anon!!! as ya can see I had things to SAY lmfao
35 notes
·
View notes
Text
the locket, motherhood, & marriage.
139 / 139 / 136 / 136 / 191 / 191 / 191 / 142 / 134 / 143 / 143 / 144 / 144 / 139 script / 144 / 280 / 144 / 144 / 192 / 279 / 279 / 279 / 279 / 143
#compilation tag#➤ victoria winters. ┊ because she’s lost and lonely. because she looks in shadows.#➤ roger collins. ┊ I and my ghosts want a drink.#➤ re: david collins. ┊ he's just been afflicted with the family disease. he's been seeing ghosts.#➤ josette dupres. ┊ it was a scent,not just any,it was hers: jasmine,seabreeze mixed.#➤ re: laura murdoch collins. ┊ I want to watch a girl on fire with ruin on her lips. I want to see everything burn.#➤ elizabeth collins stoddard. ┊ I belong to the house. the house belongs to me.#➤ re: carolyn stoddard. ┊ never the same girl twice.#GOD OKAY. the fact that burke gives vicki the locket after laura's death is EVERYTHING to me.#burke — twin to jeremiah both physically and psychologically — giving it to vicki —#the stranger brought inside the collins family; much like josette.#(which. according to much much later dialogue laura *was* jeremiah's first wife before josette.#it's an old song. it's an old tale from way back when. and we're gonna sing it again and again and again.)#that vicki; by saving david's life; is preserving the collins line — providing the heir (literally; though not biologically)#david turns away from laura and chooses vicki; replacing laura as mother-figure permanently;#as he's granted new life after the fire; born again into vicki's arms; not laura's.#the new woman in the collins fold — after the previous wife has been defeated and fire has cleansed the memory (à la jane eyre; or rebecca)#positioning her naturally as roger's wife. the mother of his child. the inheritor of the collins bridal locket.#the locket that distinctly belongs to roger's wedding *night* — tied up fundamentally with sex & childbirth & the provision of heirs.#(fitting then that the madonna and child serves as the vicki-as-mother equivalent to the painting of laura: the virginal birth)#and yet! simultaneously! the cri du sang — david's blood calling out to burke's.#roger notably absent during the fire; unaware of david's danger; unable to help him. burke drawn to him when his life is at risk —#and the one who carries him home; over the threshold; at vicki's side. delivers her the locket from the ash.#of course she is drawn to him — david's symbolic mother; his biological father —#jeremiah & josette; the empire-builder and the lost and lonely bride.#and. the vampire-figure; the parasitic lover. meeting her at the cliffs; joking about her falling from them —#who can give josette belonging by bringing her to the family tomb.
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
back to my babies<3
#after jane lost the baby during birth#the two decided to start over and now they are thinking of living at the beach or in other place for a while#also an unedited post because I'm trying to find a new reshade preset
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
"On the March 11, 2010 podcast, Lindelof and Cuse confirmed Juliet was intended to be a proxy for his (Benjamin) relationship with Annie. This would explain Ben's obsession with Juliet, that is later unexplored. "
#lost#lostedit#tvedit#lost spoilers#benjamin linus#annie#juliet burke#harper stanhope#nikolatexla#i'll forever be pissed off that they didn't include annie's arc#like how was their relationship? was she gone before the incident? was she pregnant?#did she die while giving birth and that's why ben was obsessed with fertility issues?#or was she killed during the purge?#wow so many unanswered questions and unexplained arcs... it blows my mind#while making this gifset i've read the whole 'the man behind the curtain' script hoping to find additional information about them#btw it was so amusing. god bless the writers. i would've had so much fun reading those scripts if i were an actress
40 notes
·
View notes
Text
Something really funny that's occurred to me is the way Joe talks about Maccie is like she's some catastrophic event that happened to their family "I can't believe she's been here that long." / "Everything's been different since she was born" / "Everything changed." / "She changed everything."
And it's just rlly funny to me. I want to up the dramaticness of his words at some point. And anyway, he's talking to the Samurai/Ronin for the first time and I'm wondering the impression he's getting lmao
Joe is certainly expressive to me, but only when he's given the chance. And I think w Ronin, he just started letting a lot of stuff out bc thus guy is gonna go on his way anyways.. but then he's like wait!!! Actually let me go?? For a little? (Platonic yearning so bad)
Ronin like 》^. "I suppose.. Alright, curious karate man, I'll accompany you a little longer."
Or something I'm messing around UGH
#the reason everything changed is bc joes mother passed away either shortly after Maccies birth or during#that started the strain w joe and sr but they also had.. her yk? its just sillay#dysfunctional karate family ily <3#sr isnt a terrible father he is just narrow sighted and firmly believes he knows best. he doesnt give his kids the room to grow- but he#really loves them. he just wants to protect them in a way i think.. he just lost his wife and i think that made his parenting way more#overbearing. buT ALSO. JOE JUST BEEFS W MACCIE BC YK SJXNXNX theyre siblings#espexially when they were younger. teen joe is sooo funny to me. teen angst ft this baby i dont want in my room KGLZLGKXMVKKC#in current theyre much much closer and Joe has remained Maccie's favorite person. but Joe still gets really annoyed / tired of her sometime#SRRY ugh ily karate family#also also ronin and maccie dynamic so real. i like ronin being patient with children. except maccie is wayyyy more antagonizing to him than#like my oc the lost girl. so fun!!!! sorry#karate maccie#rh head canon#< new tag#karate joe#sr isnt a bad dad on purpose agenda. sr could have the possibility to apologize and fix things one day.#maccies only ever known this version of her father and she doesnt have the capaxity to try and forgive him for certain things joe will#maccie is the golden child but she is also the problem child. she uses her favor to her advantage and to rile up her dad sometimes#just bevause she can and she has a little bit of a problem with him sometimes bc.. you know? shes a very ambitious teen and she doesnt wsnt#to be shackled..... and she doesnt like thinking of Joe as that way and UGH#i love them im normal#to elaborate a tiny bit more i hc joe as having chronic fatigue like myself. hes low spoons and he pushes himself despite it.#but his disability holds him back sometimes snd its like.. you know? he doesnt want to be the weak memver of the family so he keeps pushing#but he also cares about karate too. its not something negative to him. and stuff. even if its hard. its avtually good for his body / health#when he doesnt overexert himself anyway
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
Something unrelated to Tolkien for a change…
🌹each woman a rose💐
Violence against a human being is a crime.
Women before, during and after birth are human beings (and again very slowly for doctors and a few nurses and midwives as well: YOUNG. MOTHERS. ARE. HUMAN.BEINGS!)
Violence during pregnancy and during or after childbirth is a crime.
It is not ‘necessary’.
Forcing a woman to stay in a position in which she cannot bear the pain (a pain, moreover, that scientists put down as one of the most severe that a human being can endure) is an act of violence.
Shaming and belittleing a birthing woman is an act of violence.
Cutting a birthing woman open without her valid consent -that is consent given after the woman made an informed decision- is an act of violence.
Pressuring a woman to give up her right to make decisions concerning HER OWN body in potential favour of the unborn child is an act of violence.
Ignoring a woman’s ‘STOP’ is an act of violence and -if that includes your hands up her vagina or fumbling around with her breast trying to stuff a bleeding nipple into a screaming newborn’s mouth- sexual assault.
Invalidating a woman’s experience is an act of violence.
Yes yes yes, I know. Sometimes there is an emergency… yeah, you know, if you have time enough to say to the concerned nurse ‘oh, she’s not even im pain, she’s just acting the diva.’ you have enough time to say ‘dear, I know this is terrible frightening and you’re in pain, but we need to move fast now to make sure you and baby are ok. We’re taking good care of you. It’ll be over soon’- that makes the difference between a difficult birth and a traumatic one.
And besides, 1/3 of all mothers describe birth as being traumatic. Not 1/3 of all births include emergencies. So stop using that stupid argument to rectify you bad work.
You’re stressed, I get it. We have a global healthcare crisis. I am truly sorry for that. But if you’re so stressed it makes you feel that violence is needed to make the system work, then it’s probably time to step back.
#each woman a rose#roses revolution day 2023#stop violence against women#violence during childbirth is violence against women#your not alone#birth-trauma#i promise it gets bearable one day#hang in there mom who possibly reads this and feels like she’ll never feel whole again#who feels she lost her dignity#who has no idea how to be a mom to a helpless baby when she herself is so wounded#you matter#your health matters#you’re enough
10 notes
·
View notes
Note
💎💎💎 possibly? If you're still doing them!
Honestly these are so much fun I'll always still be doing them, lol. This one in particular. Also Giliys and Harper took over my brain, so you get two for the price of one.
"Mino." He seems to be staring off into the distance despite there being a wall directly behind you. He suddenly shakes his head, like a dog shaking himself dry. "Sorry, there's...a lot that comes up when she...uh...comes up....and most of it has nothing to do with her. Uh...so first off: she's great. Just...getting that out there. I think she's...well I guess the shortest way of saying it is that she's a good person. That's...not something I ever expected to say about a hellknight. But, uh, she is. Good, I mean. And when she's with Regill -" he cuts himself off. "No. That's - you wanted me to talk about what I think of Mino. Not...yeah.
"Anyway, uh...yeah, she's great. We're bardic hammer buddies. Just...completely devastating to tonedeaf skeletons everywhere. And everyone is a skeleton if you hit them hard enough, so....and it's really fun sort of...coordinating our performances on the fly."
He sighs and hangs his head. "Sorry. That's, uh...that's not very...I just don't want to say something that might make it seem like I don't like her or anything - because I do! I just...." He purses his lips. "It was easier to deal with just being 'a coincidence of birth' to Regill when I thought he didn't have a heart anymore." He takes a deep breath, before plastering a huge grin on his face.
"But Mino! I wish we had met in Brastlewark, back before the library...you know. She's so good with Ember - you can tell she loves kids, and the kids at the library would have loved her. I'd probably have to talk to a few of them about not touching other people's tails or feathers or scales without permission, but personal space and bodily autonomy are important lessons for kids to learn. May as well let them learn it while meeting a nice knight lady."
Meanwhile, in another timeline....
"Regill's wife? She's alright." Giliys shrugs. "I mean, she's bought into that hellknight shit - "
"DAT'S A BAD WORD!" Harper screams from her perch on her father's lap, the fur on her tail puffing up as Giliys flinches. She waves a glass jar in her father's face. "You gotta put a copper in da swear jar now! Dat's da rule!"
Giliys sighs as he reaches into his coin pouch and retrieves a copper piece for the swear jar. "As I was saying, she's bought into the hellknight ideology, probably no saving her at this point - but she means well, so I don't gotta constantly stop myself from reaching for my daggers when we talk."
"PAAAAPAAAA! You're not 'lowed to talk bout daggers in front of da kids! Daddy says so! Dats da rule!"
"Is it, now?" Giliys asks. "How bout I put a copper in the swear jar, then, and we just not mention it to Daddy?" Harper shakes her head.
"Nuh-uh. Swear jar's for swears only."
"That so?"
Harper nods very seriously. "Dat's da rule."
"That's the rule, huh? Well, you know, some rules were made to be broken."
"Dat's stupid."
Giliys sighs. "Yeah, shoulda figured that wouldn't work. Anyway. The sister in law." He shrugs. "I mean, she could definitely do better than Regill, no clue why she settled for that asshole."
"DAT'S A BAD WORD!" Harper shouts.
"You don't gotta shout, Tiger, I'm right here," Giliys says with a wince as he puts another copper in her swear jar. "Inside voice, remember?"
"Oh. Sorry, Papa."
"It's OK, I know you just get excited, just...try to rein it in a little, yeah?"
"Ok."
"Good. Uh...where was I? Right, no idea why she settled for....Regill. Then again I also got no clue why Thay settled for me neither. Maybe good people just have sh - " Giliys freezes, eying the girl on his lap. "Uh, terrible taste in men. There, is that allowed, Tiger?"
"Yeah."
"Alright, how bout you go play?"
"Nuh-uh. I'm s'posed to watch you til the nice person with the questions leaves."
"Are you now?"
Harper nods again, deadly serious. "Cuz Daddy says you can't be trusted alone after last time."
Giliys sighs and mutters under his breath something about "one time" and "being babysat by a four year old" and "didn't even do anything." Having a healthy sense of self-preservation, you choose that moment to take your leave.
#oc: theoven derenge#pathfinder wotr#knight-commander oc#pwotr pals#ask game#oc: giliys#friend oc: mino#Regill says the “coincidence of birth” line#During their first conversation after Theo rescues him from ghouls in the Lost Chapel#To explain why Regill doesn't hold it against Theo that he left him and his unit to die horrible deaths at the hands of demons#As in “you had no obligation to save me because we are nothing to each other.”#And Harper has definitely tried to convince Uncle Regill that she should be allowed to start armiger training#She's four whole years old#She's a big kid now#And she promises to follow all the rules#And make her bed#And stop the bad guys
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
Just remembered David Harbour had twins as his pfp before ST4
#byler#stranger things#twelvegate#willel twins#joyce + hopper = willel twins#time fuckery#time loop#false memories#kalis powers involved making people invisible and she could also manipulate the mind to see things not actually happening...#wonder if vecna ever got ahold of those powers at any point...#wonder if the lost sister ending with mike telling el it's a trap means anything hmmm#wonder if the repetition of Kali in flashbacks of her mom#and the repetition of the 8 bal in the flashbacks of the massacre#maybe it's being framed this way to signify that what we're seeing has been tampered with all along..#don't even get me started on the lady with nail polish being focused on during El's flashbacks of her birth at the nina project...#why oh why show us a flashback of el's birth focusing on a womans hand with nail polish along with the dialogue hi jane#only to show us that same nail polish being worn by one of the doctors currently attending to her at nina?#hmmmmmmmmmmm
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sometimes I truly feel really dumb seeing all the people here and on the internet on general make amazing analysis of characters, of events, of parallels in books, movies, songs and whatnot. I feel very poor mentally when all I can see is cool images, amazing stories, and the best songs I get to listen to. I feel like I'm missing on so much, and always beein fed the analysis by other people because I just cannot do it on my own can be very tiring and sink the self-esteem. Especially as someone who's gonna end up working with artists I feel so out of place, like I shouldn't be there talking to them since I do not have the right tool to understand them.
What I hate most of all is that even the stuff that I adore I cannot dig into in a proper way. It's all feelings and it's not good enough.
#I'm working on a presentation and I wanted to present this album and artist that has changed my life and how I go about some things but#it's not good enough for a presentation. I should analyse the album to make it worthwhile yet I cannot make it in a way that is *good*#that is relelvant to what I should be able to produce as someone studying music. For me it's the gut wrenching feeling of the rage that#got me out of some places. it's the themes of death applied to being trans and to feeling lost in life that got me out of some places.#but it's just how I feel about it and it's not analysis. I'm not going into great enough details about how it was written. I'm applying too#much of myself on it when I listened to it in a totally different context than most of its audience did. I'm years late and not part of the#movement that was birthed during that period. It feels self obsessed to make it about how I feel about it#so here I am just looking at how other people feel about it...and that's how I do it all the time it feels like. I cannot interpret#correctly what i like and what touches my soul and it's so crushing mentally#makes me hate trying to dig into what's inside my mind :(
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
milton coined the word "pandemonium" in paradise lost book one to describe, essentially, demon congress; it's used in the scene where the major demons gather to calmly argue about what next steps should be after the war with heaven (it is in pandemonium where satan makes his famous "better to reign in hell than serve in heaven" speech). to me, pandemonium is one of the poem's best examples of milton being, as william blake described it, "of the Devil's party without knowing it." the demons take turns speaking, respect each other's differing viewpoints, and orate skillfully. i have always wondered, then, when the word "pandemonium" came to mean chaos. in its coinage, pandemonium is anything but chaotic.
i have no further thoughts on this. i am the farthest thing from a miltonic scholar. i just think it's interesting. happy national poetry month!!!!
#poetry#national poetry month#paradise lost#if you were wondering my favorite moments in paradise lost are all of book one#the invocation to light at the top of book three#when adam realizes that eve has fallen and drops the flower crown and it's heartbreaking#the birth of eve#“with you conversing i lose all time”#and you know. the end#also a tip for reading paradise lost that is easily practiced in book one during pandemonium: draw boxes around different people's speech#like in pandemonium#mark up the page and write this is where belial speaks#this is where satan speaks#it is SO easy to lose track
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
tangentially related to that bajoran earring art I just reblogged.
you ever sometimes make a decision for your story based entirely on aesthetics and then realize the implication of what you’ve done and have to bend over backwards to justify it all? that’s me, making sylvain bajoran four years ago because nose ridges are hot and also earring. then realizing that I have to fit a canon elite square peg into a subjugated species round hole. then waste time wonder if you’re being insensitive and if you have any right to bring that element into your story at all. but then realize you’ve spent four years with this character in this role and you can’t change it now and. yeah.
to the people who started following me after I posted that tactility prologue: i’m working on it.
#for anyone who cares: i made him half bajoran in the end#matthias lost his first wife during the cardassian wars#took it a little personally that the federation was conceding so much in the treaty to end the conflicts#met a bajoran freedom fighter who came to the federation to beg for assistance in ending the occupation#bonded over their hatred for cardassians and their disgust for the way the federation was handling the negotiations#got married in a calculated political ploy#gave birth to the first recorded bajoran-human (which was a feat in and of itself)#used their marriage and the little half bajoran federation citizen to lobby for the including the end of cardassian presence on bajor#in the treaty (which required them to concede additional territory to the cardassians)#(which in turn bolstered the cause of the marquis)#matthias was a pilot and a venerated war hero#bajoran mom’s family were in the pilot caste on bajor before the occupation#little sylvain is pressured to become a pilot in Starfleet and raised to be a perfect little soldier in the event of another war#his parents live on different planets and have little interaction and no real love for each other#miklan hates him for a bunch of reasons but tends to linger on the racist element#so yeah all of the faerghus four have some sort of genetic ‘othering’ element along with being legacy cadets#except for Ingrid who is just othered because she’s really fucking talented#idk man#tactility: a primer
0 notes
Text
you're living someone's dream life
After I lost my brother and was displaced from my home, I realized that my previous life was a blessing that I had not realized. After giving birth in a tent and experiencing severe bleeding, I realized that life is very short. Imagine losing your brother, the people dearest to you, your home, and your family. What would your life be like with a heavy heart? I ask you to help me. Any amount will make a difference.
@fancysmudges @brokenbackmountain @just-browsings-world @mothernaturenetwork @aleciosun @fluoresensitive @khizuo @lesbiandardevil @transmutationist @schoolhater98 @timogsilangan @appsa @buttercuparry @sayruq @malcriada @palestinegenocide @sar-soor @akajustmerry @annoyingloudmicrowavecultist @feluka-blog-blog @tortiefrancis @flower-tea-fairies @tsaricides @riding-with-the-wild-hunt @visenyasdragon @belleandsaintsebastian @ear-motif @kordeliiius @brutaliakhoa @raelyn-dreams @troythecatfish @theropoda @tamarrabrunet @4ft10in-blog @queerstudiesnatural @northgazaupdates2 @skatezophrenic @awetistic-things @camgirlsurvivalguide @baby-girl-aaron-dessner @nabulsi27 @sygoldenhair-blog @junglejim4322 @heritageposts @chososhairbuns @palistani123-blog @dlxxv-vetted-donations @illuminated-runas @imjustheretotrytohelp
#all eyes on rafah#free gaza#free gazze#free palestine#free rafah#gaza#gaza genocide#gaza strip#gazaunderattack#gazze#palestinian genocide#pray for palestine#save palestine#free plaestine#palestine donation#palestine#palestine genocide#palestinians#palestine will be free#support palestine#gazza#gaza under attack#save gaza#the gaza strip#gazzedesoykırımvar#save rafah#rafah crossing#rafah#free use slvt#cnc free use
8K notes
·
View notes
Text
precious
summary: just cuteness thats it
MY LOVE❤️🔥
he’s not up yet?
nah steel sleeping😴
okay omw
Satoru looked away from the phone and glanced at his son. He rubbed his still-closed eyes with tiny fists. Gojo expected crying, but his baby just sighed.
Your son almost always woke up without fuss, greeting you or Satoru with his sweet smile. But lately, he’s been crying more often during that fine line between the sweet remnants of sleep and waking up. Teething is to blame.
Satoru turned to his side, placed his large palm on Haru’s plump belly, and slowly stroked it. "Papa’s here."
Although Gojo always sulks when the little boy sleeps (since his baby is so cute and he always wants to play with him), there have been times when he accidentally woke Haru during naps because he kissed and poked his chubby son too hard. You always scold him for that.
But now he understands that his little one sleeps restlessly, so he tries to protect his light sleep.
Lost in thought, Gojo didn’t notice any movement beside him until he felt tiny fingers wrapping around his much larger one.
Haru turned his head and smiled sweetly, revealing dimples on his flushed cheeks.
"Hi, baby! Did you have a good nap?"
Your son stretched his short arms, then rolled onto his stomach, smiling shyly. Gojo pulled him closer, supporting his back. Sitting next to him, Haru rubbed his sleepy eyes and yawned.
Gojo kissed his son’s soft tummy.
Haru moved even closer to his father, rubbing his chubby cheek against Gojo's like a kitten.
"Aww, my baby!"
Your husband definitely passed on the gene for the love of physical contact to his boy.
Satoru cooed, "I missed you too! Now tell Papa, what dreams did you have? Was Mama there?" Haru babbled as if answering the question.
When you said you gave birth to an exact copy of Gojo, you weren't even kidding. Besides the identical appearance, your son was just as talkative as his papa.
Gojo lay on his back and put his son on top. Haru reached out his hands to Papa's face and patted his cheeks while giggling. Satoru wiped the drool from his rosy lips and stroked his soft cheek.
"You're the most precious baby in the whole world," Gojo cooed.
"Ahuu"
more dad!gojo and Haru HERE
guys if you want me to add you to my taglist lmk
luv you!💫
#jjk fluff#gojo fluff#dad!gojo#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#jjk gojo#gojo x y/n#gojo x you#gojou satoru x reader#gojo satoru fluff#dad gojo
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
His Second Wife - cregan stark x reader (request)
summary: two years following the death of cregan’s first wife, he accepts an undesired marriage proposal to rhaenyra targaryen’s daughter. rhaenyra’s daughter, who had loved cregan the moment she first met him as a young girl, immediately loves and accepts cregan’s first child as her own. yet it is still not enough for cregan to find his own love for his new wife.
cw: mean cregan😓, widow!cregan, targ!reader, loss of virginity(reader), rhaenyra’s daughter, angst to fluff, unrequited love, sex, happy ending
do yall notice i always post a long ass story usually around midnight or later ( i’m unwell)also this is long af soz it was a detailed request and I wanted it to be to a T. this is SOO long. i prolly should have done two parts… oh well @lillithsalvatore hope you enjoy it love ❤️
“How do you feel, my love?” Your mother asked, placing a warm and comforting hand on yours.
You sighed. “Nervous.”
She gave you that warm and sweet smile of hers. “I know. I hope you know this choice was not easy for me to make, as I know this was a hard task for me to place upon you.”
“I know, mother.” You say with forgiveness, giving her hand a squeeze.
“Had it been any other lord I would have surely declined but… Starks are the most honorable among men. I know your union will be blessed by the gods.”
You give her a smile, blindly trusting her words. You had met him once, and you knew he was kind. In fact, he had left a paw shaped imprint on your heart. You thought to yourself no union could be more suitable. You knew he had married once before out of a prior marital alliance, but the marriage had been short lived, lasting only a year before his first wife died in her birthing chambers.
It took more than four moons before you arrived at Winterfell, as if every power in the world was set on preventing it. You were not a superstitious person, so you simply thought all the bad things that happened prior to your marriage was coincidence.
Each time you went to leave, something prevented you. Your mother miscarried your baby sister, Lucerys was killed by Aemond, Daemon went silent at Harrenhall, Rhaena ran away and was lost in the eyrie before revealing she claimed Sheep-stealer.
You arrived in the dead of winter, and the journey had not been kind to you. You got a chill on the way up, causing you to stop at an inn for a few nights, you had came across raiders who killed one of the many men escorting you, and your clothes were ill suited for the weather.
You did eventually arrive at Winterfell thankfully, all in one piece.
You stepped out of the carriage cautiously, eyeing the snowy landscape surrounding you. It went as far as the eye could see. You held your hand out, letting the thick snowflakes fall and melt in your hand.
“My princess.” You turn to see Cregan, walking towards you. He bows, forcing a politeness. “Winterfell is yours.”
You bow in return, “No need for such formalities, Lord Stark. This is your home, and I am honored to have you welcome me here.”
He nods, choosing to say nothing else to you.
“Please show the princess to her chambers.” He says to one of the servants, then immediately turning on his heels to leave. Your jaw falls slightly, surprised at his curt demeanor.
You compose yourself, trying to hide the slight hurt in your features before making your way to your private chambers.
You bathed immediately, welcoming the hot water against your skin. No water could be hot enough for your dragon blood, but what they had drawn up for you would do nicely.
Your wedding was a week after your arrival, the lord having given you time to settle in. You had not seen him much during that week so you chose not to bother him, assuming he was busy with duties.
When you walked down that snowy path to the red weirwood, Cregan stole a glance at you. You looked beautiful, and he felt horribly guilty for thinking it. He felt like what he was doing was betraying her.
You said your vows, swearing your love before the old gods. You smiled at Cregan and he gave you a forced one in return. Guilt wracked his whole body. He felt guilty for you, knowing he wouldn’t be able to give you a union where you were loved, he felt guilty for liking your smile, he felt guilty for forgetting hers.
There was a feast following the ceremony, nothing large due to the pains of winter, but it didn’t bother you. The small gathering felt intimate, compared to southern weddings where lords and ladies travelled from all over the realm to witness it.
It was here you met Cregan’s son, Rickon.
“Hi, little one.” You said. He was only two, a fat little babe who looked just like Cregan.
“Rickon, this is my new wife.” Cregan said. The way he worded it made you twitch, it had sounded so strained. He didn’t even use your name. You told the boy the name he could call you, but he said nothing as he hid behind his father’s leg.
“I apologize.” Cregan said, his voice showing no sign that he actually was sorry.
“It is alright, my lord. He is just a babe. He and I will have time to get to know each other.” You said. Cregan tensed up, suddenly remembering again this union was forever.
“Excuse me, princess.” He said, turning and walking away with Rickon. Your heart sunk a bit. You could start to sense it now, Cregan was not in the slightest invested in your union together. You felt lost, out of place suddenly.
You sat back down at the high table, overwhelmed with nervousness. You bit at your nails and the skin around them, biting until they bled. You missed your mother dearly. Being here, in this room among strangers who didn’t care much for southerners to begin with, made you feel small.
You had sat there for an hour or two, not moving or eating once, save for your cuticles.
Cregan came to you, not noticing your nervous state. If he had noticed, he chose to ignore it. “I’ve put Rickon down… Would you please accompany me to my chambers?”
You looked at him, the nail bed of your thumb resting between your teeth. You nodded, standing and staring at the hall one last time. You locked eyes with a man, who noticed you both about to take your leave.
“Is it time for the bedding ceremony, Lord Stark?” The man asked, erupting a few cheers from the men mostly.
“No!” Cregan nearly barked the order. “There will be no bedding ceremony.”
The men in the crowd shuffled awkwardly at his outburst but accepted.
“Princess.” Cregan said, walking away and not waiting to see if you were following.
You did anyway, struggling to keep up with his quick pace. You had the sense he wanted this to be over with quickly.
He held the door as you both entered his chambers. You took in your surroundings. It was a clean and large kept room with a lit hearth and a large bed. A thought passed your mind, even though you tried to push it down.
Did he share these chambers with her?
Cregan began to take off his armor and furs, again not watching to see if you did the same, only assuming you were. If you weren’t, he didn’t care.
“Um, could you help, my lord?” You asked, referring to the laces of your white wedding dress.
He sighed, walking over to you as you turned your back to him. Your eyes welled with tears, but you tried to hide it.
His hands were gentle with the laces, not tugging at them as you expected him to. He obviously had experience doing this before.
He grew emotional as he undid your dress, but he hid it well. It was a weird sense of deja vu. Your hair looked like hers from the back and he felt like he was back at his first wedding.
You pushed the dress off, revealing the sheer linen soft dress underneath. He hadn’t moved from behind you, trying to maintain his composure. You walked away from him, lying on the bed and biting your nails again.
He finished disrobing besides his briefs, and you stole a glance at his back. It was huge, muscular and scarred.
He walked over to the bed, getting between your legs and pushing up your shift.
“Is this alright with you, princess?” He asks. “We need not consummate this if you are not ready.”
For the first time it seemed like he kinda cared about how you felt. His hand still had a hold of your shift, which was resting on your pelvic bone.
You nodded, “Is it alright with you, Lord Stark?”
He nodded, pushing your shift up the rest of the way to reveal your chest. He wanted to fall on his sword for the way he kept stealing glances at your breasts.
He pushed his briefs down, and you choked on your breath at the reveal of his length.
“Oh, gods.” You mumbled under your breath.
He rubbed himself against your slit, and your heart stilled for a minute. The feeling was foreign and intense.
He gently grabbed your wrist, pulling your hand away from your mouth. You hadn’t even realized you were still doing it, it was starting to become like breathing. A natural, unintentional habit.
Your hands fell to his biceps to steady yourself. You looked at him, but he did not meet your gaze. He instead bowed his head, watching himself enter inside you.
You dug your nails into his arm, gasping in shock. He gently shushed you, telling you it was okay.
“Please, please.” You said, not knowing what you were even pleading for.
“What?” He asked gently, his voice low and almost mimicking of your whining. It sent a shiver up your spine.
He was slow and gentle with you, not in it for any pleasure himself.
You touched his chest and his hair and his arms, and while he didn’t stop you he made no effort to touch you himself. His hands rested beside your head, holding up his weight.
Your hands found his arms again and you moaned softly, feeling your peak building in your stomach. You closed your eyes and pressed your forehead to his head, moaning as you spilled onto him. He closed his eyes as he felt it, and guilt wracked him again.
He gently pulled out of you and stood up, immediately dressing himself into his nightwear. You pushed your shift back down and pulled the linen covers over you, immediately going back to biting your nails at his reaction.
He laid beside you, not facing you and not saying anything.
You said nothing, but it hadn’t gone unnoticed how he intentionally avoided spilling himself into you.
———
It had been 3 months since your arrival to Winterfell, and you had adjusted as well as you could given the circumstances.
You did not often see your lord husband, but you were used to it. He spent a lot of his free time in the crypt where she was. It hurt, but you gave him his peace and he appreciated that you didn’t hover.
“Mummy!”
“Sh, sh, love.” You say as Rickon runs into your chambers.
Cregan did not like when Rickon called you his mother. He’d gotten upset with you a few times over it, and you assured him you would correct Rickon when it happened.
“Mummy.” He repeated. You giggled. pulling him into your lap. You shook your head and tapped his nose, saying, “Nooo. Not mummy.”
“Mummy.” He laughed, and you ran your fingers through his thick brown curls.
“What ever will we do with this mop on your head, my son?”
“He is not your son.” You turned to see Cregan standing in the door way. “And his hair is fine.”
“Apologies, my lord.” You said, curtly. He ignored your attitude.
“Come, Rickon.” He said, beckoning his son.
“No, mummy.” Rickon whined, holding you.
“Go see papa.” You told him, and with your blessing Rickon ran to Cregan.
Cregan gave you a cold stare as he left, and you returned the favor.
You were growing ever so agitated with your husband. He had welcomed you into Winterfell, but not his heart. The only time you both had shared a bed was the night of your wedding, to which Cregan had made sure not to give you an heir.
You had no one. Rickon had you, Cregan had you even if he did not want you, yet you were alone here in Winterfell.
You decided to write to your mother on Dragonstone, requesting for Jacaerys to pick you up on dragon back so you could visit your family and hopefully receive advice. You had left your dragon, Silverwing, at home. You did not want to disrespect the already hesitant northern people, and you did not want Silverwing to be cold or hungry.
That night when you were brushing your hair before bed, there was a knock on your door.
“Come in.” You looked in the mirror and saw Cregan’s half sister, Sara, enter.
“Hi, Sara.” You said. She came up behind you, taking the brush from your hand and slowly combing it through your hair. You two had formed a unique bond, given you were both considered outcasts in Winterfell. You were a southerner, she was a bastard. They were two sides of the same coin here in Winterfell.
“I heard what happened today.” She said, and you hummed mindlessly. “My brother can be a bastard.”
You smiled at her in the mirror. “Is that so?”
She nods. “I wish I knew what to do, Sara.”
“We northerners love hard, princess. We are unwaveringly loyal. The wound of losing Aly is still fresh in my brother’s heart. Give him time. He knows you love Rickon, and that scares him. I don’t know why.”
“Was Aly pretty?” You ask.
“You have a southern beauty we do not see often in the North. Aly was not a beautiful woman, but she was a fierce fighter. That is how history will remember her. She was born fighting, and she died fighting. I know you are a fierce fighter as well, princess. You are the blood of the dragon. Do not let the grief my brother holds make you feel small.” She kisses the back of your head. “Throw a fucking book at his head if he acts like that again.”
You laugh, her joke comforting you. She turns and leaves you alone, your head clouded with thoughts of Aly.
You heard back from Jacaerys within a few days that he would arrive shortly to bring you home. You had not yet told Cregan, as you knew he wouldn’t care anyway.
A few days following the letter from the raven, it was Sara’s name day. Cregan had decided to celebrate with a feast, one bigger than your wedding.
You all sat at the high table, your husband and sister in law drinking heavily. Although Cregan was a big man, the amount of ale he consumed that night seemed enough to kill a horse.
“My princess.” A servant rested her hand on your shoulder. You and Cregan both turned to look at her, and she grew nervous, not expecting Cregan to pay any attention or perhaps she would not have asked the princess the request. “Rickon has had a nightmare and wants no comfort of the maids. He is requesting you by name specifically, princess.”
You turn to look at Cregan for his approval. He gives a quick nod, which you hadn’t expected. Perhaps he only obliged since Rickon had requested you by your name, rather than requesting his “mother.”
You walked with the maid to his chambers, opening the door.
“Mummy.” He said through sniffles. You turned to face the maid.
“I thought he requested me by my name.” You said.
“That is your name, princess… to him.” The maid closed the door.
You turn to face Rickon with a gentle sigh. “You know papa doesn’t like that word.”
“Mummy.” He just says again. You walk to his bed, fitting yourself in to lay with him. He cuddles into your chest, and you play with his hair to help him sleep.
“Say it okay.” He says.
“Hm? What do you mean, child?” You ask.
“She say it okay to call you mummy.”
“Who?”
“Mummy did.”
“No, you have to call me my name, sweet boy.”
“Not you, mummy. My other mummy said it okay.”
“You confuse me, Rickon.”
“Mummy says ignore papa.” You chuckle softly.
“Sleep now, my love.” You say, and he slowly falls asleep while you hum him a soft song.
You rise, tucking him in and giving his head a kiss.
You open his door to return to the feast, and Cregan is there waiting.
You gasp, covering your mouth quickly to not wake Rickon.
“Gods, you scared me!” You whisper/yell at him. He says nothing, his eyes in a glossy and drunken haze.
You close the door, nearly standing chest to chest with him.
“I heard you sing to him.” He says softly. “Where did you learn that song?”
“He taught me it.” You say, as you go to step past him when he stops you.
“Cregan?” You say confused, turning to look up at him.
He takes your cheeks in your hands and slams his lips on yours. You freeze for a second in shock, before immediately returning the kiss. He presses you against the door, and you moan into him as you quickly grow wet with Cregan’s sudden change of behavior.
He moves to press gentle kisses on your neck, biting softly here and there. His fingers dig into your hips, grinding himself into you. You moan softly, trying not to cause too much noise against the door.
“Not here.” You moan. He avoids your eyes, taking your hand and pulling you further down the hall to his chambers. It was only your second time in his room. He lifted you into his strong arms, wrapping your legs around his waist and pressing you against the wall.
You both hadn’t even undressed, but you loved the thrill. Your husband finally wanted you after three long grueling months. He pushed your dress up to your waist as you unlaced his breeches.
He took you there against the wall of his chambers, fucking you so sweetly, fucking you in a way that would surely produce an heir.
Your moans filled the halls, and the servants began to spread word that the lord had finally moved on from his first wife.
He carried you to the bed, placing you along the edge as he stood, fucking you with sloppy and drunken thrusts.
You moaned his name, both of you drawing so close to your peak as your hands rested against his stomach. He leaned closed to you as hand moved beside your head to hold his weight, and the other moved under your lower back to lift you slightly off the bed and pull you more into him. The angle sent you over the edge, crying and moaning his name.
Your moans pushed him over, but his next words made you sick.
“Fuck, Alysanne.” He groaned, burying his head in your neck and spilling his seed into you.
You gasped, not even sure you heard him right.
He kissed your neck a few times and then rolled off you, not noticing the look on your face.
You laid there unmoving, still in your dress which was now damp with sweat, and your thighs now sticky with Cregan.
He fell asleep the second his head hit his pillow, still in his clothes.
You choked back a sob, moving your hand to your mouth so he wouldn’t waken. In reality, you could’ve started screaming and he wouldn’t have woke, or even shuffled.
You exited his chambers, trying not to be sick on the way to yours.
“My sister!” Sara drunkenly yelled as she seen you in the hallway. She took notice of your disheveled dress and hair. “Oh my gods, did you and Cregan just…?”
You ignored her, but she noticed the tears on your face. “Wait, sister what is wrong? What happened?”
You slammed the door in her face, throwing yourself into your pillow and screaming.
—
“Mother would be furious if she knew you were sleeping this well past sunrise.”
You groaned, lifting your head from the pillow to find the voice in the room.
“Jacaerys?” You said, when your eyes landed on him.
“I take it the feast for Sara Snow was a success.” He says, making fun of you. Your hair was sticking to your face, wet with a mixture of tears and drool.
“I guess you could say that.” You said, wiping your hair to the side.
“You’re disgusting.” He says.
“Gods, five minutes you’ve been here and you already frustrate me! Get out!” You say, both of you immediately teasing and arguing like you had never left home.
You push him out of your room.
“Don’t touch me, wench!” He whines, smacking your arms.
“Piss off! Go harass the bloody Lord of Winterfell.”
“I’d rather harass the Lady.” You push him out of your doors, turning and pressing your back to slide down the wall.
You hear him knock again and you rise to your feet, angry. “Jace, I said-“
You don’t finish your sentence, since as you open the door it’s Sara.
“I wanna talk about last night.”
“I don’t.” You say, going to close the door on her before she pushes it back open.
“What happened?” She asks, angry. She closes the door behind her and follows you to the bed. You sit on the edge and rest your elbows on your thighs, burying your face in your hands.
“Did my brother hurt you?” She asks, worried.
“No, no.”
She rests on her knees in front of you, placing her hands on your knees. “Tell me what happened.”
You sigh, trying to hold back your tears, but you cannot. “We had sex.”
“Isn’t that good? What went wrong?”
“He called me Alysanne.” You sob out.
“Oh, no.” She says, moving to sit beside you and wrap her arms around you.
“I cannot stay here no longer, Sara. I am being haunted by Alysanne. I find letters she wrote to Cregan, her clothes, her weapons. Rickon thinks I am her and Cregan wishes I was.”
“I am sorry, princess.” She says, sadly. “I thought I knew my brother better than that… Perhaps, if you talk to him about these past few months things can be different. Just give it a try, yes? You have your brother here now. You can leave if things do not work and the marriage can be annulled.”
You did not even wish to think of that possibility. It would be so shameful for both of your houses. You would do everything in your power to make it work.
You cleaned yourself up and went to Cregan’s chambers, knowing he would be hungover.
And you were right.
You entered his room without knocking, finding him in a bath with a warm rag over his eyes. Three times now you’ve been in his chambers.
“You can set it on the table.” He says, not moving the rag.
“What?”
“Oh.” He says, his voice changing in tone. “I thought you were the maid.”
You say nothing, unsure of where to even begin.
“Can whatever you’ve barged into my chambers for wait until I am done.” He asks, only the question is more of a statement.
“No.” You say, angry. You walk over to him and pull the rag off his eyes. He squints at the brightness, then gagging on the air as if he might be sick. “We’re going to talk, Cregan. We’ve been married for months and I don’t think we’ve ever truly had a conversation once. It is all I am asking. You could at least give me that. You’ve given me the cold shoulder for three months, and I’m tired of it. I’ve helped raise your son, I’ve loved you and I’ve cared for you even when you didn’t want it. You owe this to me.”
He sighs, defeated. “You are right in that, my princess. I apologize. We can talk later, alright?”
“No, Cregan. We will talk now.”
“You wouldn’t rather talk when I am of a clear headspace?”
“No. Now.” You say. He sighs again.
“Say your piece.”
The words left your mind the second he said that. You had this conversation in your head many times before, but now it was here and you could not handle the heat of the moment.
He raised his eyebrow at you, as if you were dumb.
“Oh, do not do that. I thought you Starks were supposed to be the most honorable among men. This whole marriage I have been treated with everything but. You are a disrespectful man, Stark. I am truly sorry about Alysanne-“
“Do not speak to me about my wife, ever!” He yells, pointing at you.
“I am your wife!” You cry out. “You chose me, whether you were ready for another marriage or not! I left my home, my family, my dragon to be with you! If I cannot have your love, is it too much to ask for your fucking respect?!”
He goes quiet for a few moments, “You have always had my respect, princess… and I know I have erred in the way I’ve treated you these past moons. But this marriage is just a duty. Nothing more, nothing less. This marriage is not out of love… so do not expect me to love you back.”
You laugh, dryly. “You called me Alysanne last night… Do you remember that? No… I suppose you were too drunk. You never would have touched or cared for me like that sober.”
He says nothing, but his hands grip the side of the tub and his face is contorted with anger. You rise, hiding any sort of emotion on your face.
“The dead don’t need lovers. Only the living.” You said. He threw his rag at the door as you walked out, not even granting him a second glance.
The memories of last night flooded back to him, and he rested his face in his hands, crying at his behavior. He had let down Aly, his son, and you.
He did care about you, he did love you in his own way. He just didn’t know how to show it. He didn’t want to show it. If he had shown it, he only would have betrayed Aly even more.
You went down to the crypt, somewhere you had never gone before. You had no reason originally, no people to mourn.
You stood in front of her plot, staring at the statue of her. She had been a skinny girl, with long dark hair and ‘plain’ features. You thought she was a beauty in her own way. You saw why Cregan loved her.
You cried. “I’m sorry I couldn’t help him.”
Your hand touched her statue, then you stood and left the crypt.
You said goodbye to Rickon, Sara, and then you left with your brother on dragon back, ready to be home with your true family.
———
“You’re a fucking fool, brother.”
“You think I don’t know that? Gods.” Cregan rested his head in his hands. He had sent every raven in Winterfell to Dragonstone, yet not one had responded in the weeks since you’d left.
“We’ll be lucky if the bloody queen doesn’t declare war on us for you scorning her daughter.”
“I am trying here, Sara! I’ve sent my ravens, I’ve sent men to retrieve her. There is nothing more I can do!”
Sara slammed her hands on the table. “Go and get her your bloody self, Cregan. The trip to Dragonstone will give you plenty of time for reflection.”
Sara turned to leave, and Cregan knew it was his only option of getting you back here. He would go and get you and make things right. He had to.
You had your own time for reflection, riding home with Jacaerys made you realize how much you missed being on dragon back.
Your mother of course welcomed you with open arms, but was wracked with guilt that you and Cregan’s union was not working. You paid it no mind however, spending your days patrolling Dragonstone on Silverwing.
Cregan had taken his horse and a few men to retrieve you from Dragonstone. The trip by horse was long, more than several weeks.
The entire time he rode in silence he thought of you. He thought of your last conversation and the final words you had said to him. The dead don’t need lovers. And you were right. Alysanne would not have wished to see him treat you how he had, she would not have wanted Cregan to spend his time sulking or being angry. He only wished he had realized it before he left.
He loved you. If only it hadn’t taken you leaving for him to realize. You were kind, gentle, beautiful. Traits Alysanne didn’t have but it was what seperated you from her. It had been how he was able to find his own kind of love for you, even when he didn’t consciously realize it yet. His own bitterness from losing Aly had made forget his honor.
Cregan arrived about two moons after you had left. He was aching, frustrated, and desperate by the time he reached Dragonstone.
It was dark, pouring rain, and you were playing with your brothers Viserys and Aegon when he arrived.
“Your Grace!” A knight came into the room shouting. Your mother looked up from her book. “Cregan Stark of Winterfell has arrived and requests an immediate audience with you and the princess.”
Your mother looked at you, and you looked like you’d seen a ghost. Your heart sank and your face went pale, but you nodded.
You met him inside the council chambers with your mother and his men. He was soaked, shivering. You could hear your heart beating in your ears, that was how nervous you were.
“Cregan.” You said, walking towards him and pushing him by his arms to the hearth to warm him up. It was another thing he loved about you, your protective nature, so he said it.
“I love you.”
“Cregan…”
“Love her?” You both looked at your mother, whose face was angry. “You love my daughter?”
“Your Grace.” Cregan said, removing his sword and bending his knee. “I’ve come to beg your forgiveness.”
She walked towards you both. “It is not mine you need to beg for… I sent my only daughter to you, and you spurn her for your dead wife?!”
“Mother!”
“You will not interrupt the Queen when she is speaking.” She commands you. “What do you have to say for yourself, Lord Stark?”
He stands. “I have nothing to say, Your Grace. You are right. My behavior was unacceptable. The princess deserved none of it.”
“Why are you here?” Your mother asks him.
“I’ve come to ask the princess to return home.” Your mother scoffs at him.
She looks at you, then back to him. “You are lucky it is not my decision to make.”
She turns and exits, leaving and commanding his men to wait outside the doors so you both could be alone.
You were even more nervous with just the two of you in there. It is silent for a few moments before you speak.
“Why the sudden change of heart?” You ask Cregan.
“It took you leaving for me to realize I love you.” He says, taking your hands in his. You roll your eyes, taking your hands back and stepping away.
“I can’t believe you.” You say, starting to sob.
“I know, I know.” He steps closer to you again, taking you in his arms as you cry into his chest. “I’m so sorry.”
“I loved you, Cregan.” You say, crying. “Since I was a girl I loved you. I thought you were different from other men. But, you’re just like the rest.”
Cregan cries into your hair. “I’m so sorry, my princess. I’m so, so sorry.”
You both stand there, holding each other and crying.
“Please come home.” He says. “Let me take you home.”
“Rickon misses his mother, Sara misses her sister… I miss you, you my wife.”
You pull away to look at him, trying to read his normally stoic features. You can see he means it.
“Okay.”
———
You returned to Winterfell on Silverwing, no longer having the strength to remain apart from your dragon.
Cregan had to endure another long and grueling trip back to Winterfell, which you enjoyed knowing he was suffering while you road through the skies.
Rickon had cried tears of joy when you returned, and a week later when Cregan arrived Rickon cried again.
You and Cregan had remained in seperated chambers while you still navigated your marriage, but Cregan made a point to spend every moment of his free time with you.
But you had been keeping a secret from him.
After you returned home to Dragonstone originally, your blood never arrived. The maester determined you were with a babe, which would arrive several moons away in the dead of winter.
Your thick furs and dresses made it easier to hide from Cregan, as you were not ready to tell him.
The babe had complicated things. If you had not been pregnant, you might not have returned to Winterfell when Cregan came for you. But you knew you had a duty, and you believed if Cregan could love you then you could fix your union.
Cregan had indeed put the work in the second he arrived home. He attended to you, conversed with you, ate with you, laughed with you, but gave you the space you needed and gave you the option to be intimate with him when you were ready.
It was strangely like falling in love all over again. You blushed around each other, got nervous and flushed, made each other’s hearts race, shared a first kiss when you were both ready.
Cregan had undoubtedly fallen madly in love with you, and he regretted not taking the time to do it sooner. He couldn’t make up the time he lost being afraid. All he could do now was love you without guilt, love you without fear, love you without shame.
Normally Cregan always knocked on your chamber doors before entering, but for some reason this time he hadn’t. He didn’t know why he didn’t knock, he didn’t know if it happened unconsciously or if he was too busy wrapped up with his thoughts.
Either way, he entered without knocking and by that point the cat was out of the bag.
He said your name, greeting you with a smile, only for it to fall off his face as if it had never been there.
You were in the bath, relaxing in the burning water, but that wasn’t the problem. He’d seen you naked, although it hadn’t been for a few months by this point, but him accidentally invading your privacy wasn’t the problem either.
It was the bump in your belly that was a problem.
Your head turned sharply, covering your chest quickly. “Cregan!”
“Sorry.” He said quickly, turning around to avoid disrespecting you.
“It’s fine.” You said, dropping your arm from your chest. “You just gave me a fright.”
He said nothing for a moment, only continuing to face the wall.
“What is that?” He finally asked. You sighed, stepping out of the tub and into your robe.
You walked up behind him, resting a hand on his shoulder. He turned around to face you now, and his eyes fell down to your other hand resting on the small bump in your stomach.
“Perhaps it’s time we talk.”
“You think?” He spits at you, immediately apologizing after. “I’m sorry, princess. I didn’t mean to be cross with you.”
You said nothing, walking over to the seats by the hearth hoping he would follow.
He did, and he sat next to you, his eyes never leaving your belly.
“Can I?” He asked, gesturing to your stomach. You nodded, untying your robe so that you were bare. You grabbed his hand, bringing it to the small bump.
“Why didn’t you tell me sooner? I could have accommodated for you, made sure you were comfortable.”
“Truth be told it’s been hard for me to accept I’m truly with a child.” You say, “The reality had not set in until… well until you just now found out... I am sorry, Cregan. I should not have kept it from you.”
He chokes back a sob. “Feels like just yesterday Alysanne had Rickon.”
“He will be overjoyed to know he will have a little brother or sister.” You tell him. He looks at you, his face full of emotion.
“Can I kiss you?” He asks and before you can even finish nodding your head, you’re already leaning in to kiss him.
“I love you. I love you so much, my wife.” He says in between kisses.
His hand did not move once from your stomach the whole night.
#hotd cregan#cregan fanfiction#cregan x you#cregan smut#cregan x y/n#cregan stark smut#cregan x reader#cregan stark x reader#cregan stark#hotd#hotd season 2#team black#house stark#house of the dragon fanfic#house of the dragon#hotd x reader#cregan hotd#hotd imagine#house of the dragon imagine#hotd smut#winter is coming#hotd fanfic
3K notes
·
View notes
Note
Can you write something about Jacaerys velaryon x targaryen wife reader
Where she gives birth to a baby that looks like jace and it bothered alicent but they don't care? :3
Saving Face (Jacaerys Velaryon x Targtower!Reader)
(a/n): i’m sorry this request took over a year but my, what a great idea! i hope you like it
word count: 3.0k
summary: with what was supposed to be a happy moment in the new chapter of your family with jacaerys, only wounds linger when your mother is unhappy with your child's appearance.
warnings: slight angst, family tensions, complicated family relationships, implied incest (the targaryen way), not alicent hightower friendly
request status: OPEN
The joy of his newborn child is nearly eclipsed by the fear that his beloved would be called to face the same humiliation his mother endured upon his birth.
Even in distress, his beautiful wife still looked otherworldly silver hair spun in gold, and with her pale lavender eyes, he would not have that ginger sucker of joy to rob him from this life changing celebration. His relief that his beloved survived the precarious birth, worried about her lithe frame and the prostration it weighed on her during the pregnancy.
His little boy, his beloved son, a fragment of the other half of soul and his own. He is perfect, with his ten little toes and fingers, and he is all his.
Jacaerys is thankful his mother was in the birthing room with him and his wife, breaking protocol (as always) to be with the mother as she went into labour. Without her, he thinks he would’ve been hysterical and lost his mind without her guiding hand and comforting presence in seeing Y/N in distress.
“Where is my mother?” Y/N cradles the babe to her breast, as he suckled in his mother’s warmth and he feels his heart drop to his stomach as her face contorted in disappointment.
The child yearned for nourishment, and the midwives guided the young mother so she could feed the child with her milk.
The Dowager Queen remained unyielding even as her step-daughter arose as Queen, and she was still given some privileges even with her dispute with his mother. The marriage of Jacaerys and Y/N, her youngest daughter, was made as a desperate attempt to patch the two sides together and make peace as his mother sat on the Iron Throne.
Her mother attended the wedding, wearing a dark muted forest green that still appeared obsidian in certain angles, but the flame patterns could not be missed on her gown.
A mockery indeed as if she did not accept his mother’s ascendance to the throne and wanted her small rebellions in forms of cloth, he would not grant her the satisfaction of his reaction, for the sake of the realm and his wife, her daughter. It would be too scandalous to do so.
When his beloved was called abed, all pretense of dignity and calm collapsed underneath him. Whatever confident front he had broke apart as fear consumed him, sweat dripping from his forehead, hands shaking, heart beating wildly as he realized his wife was to cross the barrier between life and death to birth their child.
Seeing Y/N’s clean white robes stained the bed in scarlet as she quickens and the pain increases as the babe nears reminds him of the chills whenever he walks the path from the princess’ chambers to the queen’s, the same path forged in blood when his mother then Princess Rhaenyra, the crown princess and heir to the Throne, had to face the humiliation called upon by her stepmother, now Queen Dowager Alicent.
His blood boils when he sees the auburn former queen walk that path meekly nowadays on her way to see her daughter, as if it was all an act when she had pulled rank and caused so much suffering to his beloved mother. Jacaerys fears his wife, now the Princess of Dragonstone will have to walk those same halls, perform the same walk of shame and mummery with all the courtiers of the Keep to bear witness.
There is no possibility he will allow her to endure the same, he would bring fire and blood to all of Westeros shall she have to face that, yet it brings him relief when he reminds himself that woman is no longer Queen but his mother is, Queen of her own right and first of her name, and yet all the same, that woman is also his mother-in-law, mother to his darling. And grandmother to the child that shares his blood.
Jacaerys never left the side of his wife even when her birth continued onto the hour of the wolf, his hands intertwined with her own, assuring kisses on her temple and cheek and encouraging her when she would cry she wanted to relent. Across from him stood his mother, whose locks resembled her half sister and his wife, an experienced mother who has felt such joy and such sorrow too, with a maternal comfort gained with experience.
He would not allow a woman filled with hate to the brim in her heart to rob him of the joys of fatherhood and the relief of his wife safe and sound after such birth to their babe. Jace felt relief like no other when he began to see the dark haired head of the child crowning, and the guttural, final scream she exerted as the child exited her womb.
Jacaerys comforted and whispered assurances of gratitude and encouragement to his lady wife, that she be reminded how grateful he was of her efforts to grow their family, of her devotion and love for him, and fulfilling her duty with nothing but grace, peppering kisses all over her flushed face.
As he caressed the fine hair of his child much like own while he fed from his mother’s breast, his elated expression dropped as if in a chilling reminder when she asked for her mother. As despicable as that woman was, he could not deny her wishes if it brought her reprieve. Jace smiled and promised her that she would be coming and has been informed of the birth of her new grandchild.
When Y/N was beyond earshot, he approached the young midwife with a hardened gait, grinding through his teeth. “If the Dowager Queen wishes to see the prince, she will make her way here herself. She can walk, can she not?!"
While his wife was preoccupied and in isolation during the last few months of the pregnancy, Jace had made efforts to convince his mother to move the Lady Alicent to the second floor below the palace where the current royal family lived. “To remind her of what she’s done to us and may feel the pain we have endured.” He told Queen Rhaenyra, who was hesitant but accepted afterwards.
Jacaerys marched his way outside the ornate doors where his wife and their babe rested, raising his chin and standing with his chest puffed out, a cold indifferent expression, back straightened and fists clenched white as his wife’s mother made her way up the stairs with difficulty.
In the years since her queenship, the then young queen had begun to develop striking pain all over her body, especially down her spine and legs no matter what the maesters or foreign healers would advise. Jacaerys thought it was fitting for when he would make his mother walk up with him and his newborn siblings, bleeding across the hallways and staircases due to the green queen’s attempt to humiliate them.
Perhaps he is his mother’s son, as diplomatic, gracious, intelligent and cunning as he may be, grudges linger.
He could hear a pin drop as the auburn haired woman nearly stumbled down the final stairs and tripped over her gown, with a few septas rushing over to assist her but he showed no commiseration.
The doors swung open as Alicent limped towards her daughter’s bedside, slightly softening in consolation her daughter was safe in childbirth and the child was kicking like a goat.
“Praise the Mother, my girl.” She brushed her blood-smeared fingers over her silver hair shakily, whispering. He did not miss the glimpse of disappointment when she noticed the dark brown hair of the child, even when the boy had her pale lavender eyes.
Alicent cleared her throat, avoiding the gaze of those around her. “I see that the prince strongly resembles his father.”
Jacaerys’ eyes narrowed in suspicion, instinctively reaching towards the pommel of his Valyrian steel sword. “Is that supposed to be a problem, Dowager?” He stomped forward, hovering above his wife and child.
“Not at all, my prince. He is a handsome boy-”
Queen Rhaenyra noticed the tension beginning to develop and interrupted with a smile. “She means no ill, Jacaerys. Merely an observation.”
“An observation?! She wished to have us named as bastards to replace you as heir with one of her spawns and humiliate you.” He raised his voice, accusatory at his mother’s former adversary, and he could feel Lucerys next to him, pulling him away to calm him.
His wife Y/N, exhausted and delirious from the birth, began to grow pale and overwhelmed from the commotion around her, just as her babe broke out in tears and wailed. The Queen ordered everyone but Jacaerys to exit the room and give the family their space. The door shut with a thunderous thud.
…
Hours later, the midwives finished cleaning up the afterbirth, bathed and cleaned the lady and the child before they both fell asleep in new linen sheets and fed.
Jacaerys never left his young family’s side, despondent he had lost his cool, distressing his family during a vulnerable moment, turning what should have been a celebration into an altercation.
He cringed as he could only imagine what the murmurs and whispers about his behaviour and the events that followed with his wife’s mother would share about him. He had brought this upon himself and his family.
AS Y/N began waking from her first rest since the labours, he turned to her as soon as he could hear her rise from her sheets, reaching for her hands in his.
“I have failed you, wife. I should have protected you but I have only raised in anger over old wounds and created altercations when I should have.” Jacaerys felt his tears brim, cheeks red with ignominy and shame.
Her eyes fluttered awake, still weary from the long delivery but visibly more rested already. She shook her head in understanding with an enervated sigh.
“I understand your relationship with my mother has been tense, for what she had done to Her Grace and your family. But I can assure her she has changed, if she is not with me, she is on the knees at the Sept begging for forgiveness and giving alms-”
“She looked at our son the same way she used to look at me and my brothers as children, when she would use her tongue to call us bastards! I fear she will do the same to you and the boy. What good will alms do if she still wishes to see me and our son six feet under ground for the colour of our hair!?” Jacaerys exclaimed, lips quivering in fear as he felt tears brim in his eyes.
Y/N brought their son closer to her arms, only comforted by the sight of her child and her beloved.
“I will handle her, trust me. She thinks I do not pay attention to these things, but I do.” She reaches her free hand to his, unmoving to not wake the babe and squeezes his larger palms into her own.
Jacaerys sniffles, wiping his tears with his sleeve. “I do not wish to drive you apart from your mother, my love. I only worry about you and our family’s safety, and the throne. That you and our son may not suffer on my behalf.”
Their son had just begun to fall asleep in her arms, and she began bouncing him instinctively, quickly gaining the ropes of what it took to be a good mother. Jacaerys knew she would be nothing like her own mother, eagerly learning from his mother Queen Rhaenyra, speaking with other royal and noble mothers and even listening to wet nurses and nannies on how to rear children best.
“Are you sure you can handle this conversation? Would you like me outside or in the room with you?” He asks with uncertainty, not entirely confident with his wife even with her own mother.
The wife of the heir to the Iron Throne and Princess of Dragonstone nods fiercely. “You forget I am a dragon too. We do not bow to these snakes that suck from their prey.”
…
In the overmorrow on the first day of spring, Y/N had just put her son in his cradle, handcrafted in limestone and marble with seahorses and dragons, lined with sheets of silk with pearls and aquamarines, befitting the future King, and the scion of Houses Targaryen and Velaryon.
She hummed as she watched him sleep, having gone through feeding him herself to the surprise of the wet nurses she had followed through, unlike most royalty. She swore she would leave nursing and care to others if she had no other choice.
Underneath sat the hearth of the magenta and mauve swirled dragon egg surrounded by pieces of coal, emitting whirls of smoke that signified the life alive in those eggs. The egg was special as it was the first from her young ride, a nervous flighty thing who only managed to hatch when she found out she was expecting herself, rarely only having one dragon when most on Dragonstone laid many.
As she hums old Valyrian nursery hymns from the crypts of ancient Valyrian text retrieved from the tombs of the Keep’s libraries, she recognizes the steps of her mother without a glimpse.
In her jade hued robes, Lady Alicent was quaint yet undaunted to remind the court of her former standing as once the queen who ruled these halls. A black veil hid part of her auburn hair that turned to flames in certain lighting.
Her mother grimaces with a smile that does not reach her eyes, but relief is painted all over her being. “You are well, daughter? I presume so is the babe.”
Y/N curtly interrupts her. “The babe is your grandson, my child when I am your flesh and blood, mother. Most importantly, he is the future heir to the throne, second in line to my husband.”
Alicent frantically fidgets with her fingers, tugging at her old emerald rings in consternation.
“Of course, yes. His name, Aemon, is fitting for a future monarch.” She could hear the strain in her mother’s words, laced with lies. All her life she had learned those sealed with malice and deceit.
“You forget yourself, mother. My husband and my children are of the blood of the dragon, as do I. You do not understand the ways of the dragon, in your jealousy of wanting to unseat my sister and put Aegon on the throne. Your attempts to disgrace and dispossess my future husband and his brothers has brought the Stranger hanging over mine and my own son’s head!” Y/N chides in betrayal, voice tinged with disbelief her mother would do such a thing.
“Y/N-”
“I could not believe you, mother, that you still harbour such ill will after many years. My marriage with Jacaerys should have buried whatever disagreements you may have had with Queen Rhaenyra, but you value imbuing hate and division on this house more than choosing the peace and stability of this kingdom!”
“Your husband and your son are unbecoming of what Targaryen princes are supposed to look like-” The Dowager attempted to reason, but was impeded as her daughter held an imposing hand towards her.
“Unbecoming? Have you not glimpsed into a mirror? You are nothing of what a Targaryen queen should be, a mere second son’s daughter who brought nothing of value to the throne, and only sought discord to advance her family. Who replaced the Targaryen tapestries with ones of the Seven in hopes of bringing your radicalism to the rest of the kingdom!”
Guards barge in the doors of the babe’s nursery, their armour and swords clattering loudly in the quiet hall.
“What is the meaning of this?”
Y/N coldly turns away from her mother, even as she frowned the same way she would. “By order of the Princess of Dragonstone with the seal of approval of the Prince of Dragonstone and the Queen of the Seven Kingdoms,
I order your arrest for treason, and insubordination not only for your past grievances but your efforts to call my son a bastard. You will be stripped of your privileges of Queen Dowager, and turned into a septa who will serve the Seven for all her days.”
The former queen is astonished, struggling among the grips of the soldiers who surround her. “Daughter, you are mistaken, please do not do this to me. For all I have sacrificed for this realm and for your father, you must understand why I am the way I am.” She pleaded on her knees, hands clasped as she cried for mercy.
“No, you have served your ambitions and my late grandsire’s treacherous longing for power and the throne, that you would put the Hightower banners and replace Targaryen customs with the Seven and southern ways, that you would tear the kingdom apart for it. I have given you too many chances, forgiving you and turning the cheek in hopes you have accepted it and at least been happy for me, but I am a fool. I am not as forgiving as my father was to your digressions!”
Y/N paced slowly around her mother, sorrow on her face, but no regret or forgiveness.
“You are lucky I will not be putting you in a cell, because for better or for worse, you are still the mother who birthed me. But you would understand, there is nothing a mother would do to grant protection to her children.”
The princess dazed into the window, grasping onto the rails as she heard her mother being dragged out the halls and stripped of her royal ordinances. She could feel herself biting into her nails nervously after years of no longer doing so.
Jacaerys sauntered carefully, approaching his wife with comfort, rubbing her shoulders and bringing her into his arms, looking down at their son as he slept.
“Was I not too cruel, Jace?” She whimpered, weeping into his arms as she was devastated at whether treating her own kin in such a way was a fatal mistake.
He rests his chin on the top of her head before pressing kisses on her temple. “I understand why this troubles you, wife. As abominable and misguided she was, you still are her blood, her daughter.”
She glimpsed at her son, cooing at him as he quietly sleeps. “As a mother, I want to be nothing like her. My son will never be safe while she is around.”
#jacaerys velaryon imagines#jacaerys x reader#jace velaryon#jacaerys velaryon x reader#jace velaryon x reader#jacaerys velaryon#hotd jacaerys#jacaerys targaryen#prince jacaerys#jace targaryen#house of the dragon scenarios#house of the dragon imagines#house of the dragon headcanons#house of the dragon fanfic#house of the dragon#hotd x reader#hotd imagine#my writing#my work#fyp#house of the dragon x reader
3K notes
·
View notes