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mrsbrookegillespie · 4 years ago

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+Homework+ Luke x Fem!Reader

(Not My Gif)

Description:When Y/N’s progress report comes out it seems as though their mom isn’t happy with the letters that follow each subject. So when they have to cancel on her friends band rehearsal to do their assignments it leads to an interesting encounter with the brunette guitarist of Julie and the Phantoms.

Warning: Stress, school, bad grades, mild angst, mostly fluff.

+Homework+

Luke is not someone to judge another for having bad grades, considering what his report cards looked like, and the fact he dropped out of high school at seventeen. But, Y/N has two more years left in school, despite her age, and frankly… She’s struggling. “What’s this?” her mother asks, showing her an email.

“Those are… My grades?” Y/N shrugs, avoiding the small letters that labeled her as dumb, and lazy.

“Y/N! You need to start getting serious about this. You’re going to flunk out!” Y/N internally winces at her mother shouting at her. “I’m very disappointed about this…”

“Well,” Y/N starts. “I’ll do it!” She bites her lip, sliding away from her desk. “Tomorrow,” she adds, looking at the time. “I promised Julie I’d watch band practice today.” Her mom gives her a blank stare.

“Y/N! We’ve been very laid back with you, you’ve never been grounded or anything, but right now I want you to stay at home, and get your missing work done.”

“But--”

“No!”

Her mom closes the door on the way out, leaving Y/N feeling the stress of school. She grabs her phone, clicking Julie’s contact. “Hey! Are you almost here?” Julie asks.

“I can’t make it…” Y/N breathes out.

“What?!” Julie exclaims. “But, you promised to be here today, we’re performing tomorrow, you know?” The disappointment radiates through the phone.

“I know! And I will be there for that, because that’s really important, but I just can’t make it today.” Y/N is too embarrassed to say the reason why. Julie has amazing grades, and is insanely talented, and she might be a little jealous of that, mostly because she gets to spend extra time with Luke who Y/N has heart eyes for. But, his eyes are for someone else. Julie.

“No, she’s not coming,” she answers the muffled voice in the background. “I don’t know!” she groans. “The boys wanted me to ask you if you’re okay, which are you?”

“Yes! I’m fine, just go rehearse, even though you guys don’t really need it, I know you’ll rock tomorrow--” Y/N gets cut off by her door swinging open.

“Y/N! Homework! Now!” her mom orders.

“I’m just telling Julie I can’t make it,” Y/N argues. “I gotta go.”

“Oh, okay, well, we all miss you over here,” she affirms.

“Yeah, I miss you all too, but we did see each other today, so… I miss the boys.”

Julie laughs. “I’ll tell them that, especially you know who.” Y/N can sense Julie’s smirk when she speaks.

Y/N chokes on a bit of her saliva. “Julie! I-I have to go.” She hangs up. “Why me?” she asks whatever higher power could possibly be listening to the teenage girl.

She plops down on her desk chair.

“What to start with?” Her eyes scan her To-Do List she’s already made, it’s not as much as she thought, but it’s definitely time consuming and very boring. Some of her teachers have already reached out to her, but she chooses to ignore their offers of help. She’s scared she’ll say something they’ll find stupid, or won’t understand.

And so she has to skip her favorite part of the day, to do Algebra, and History and Biology, and…

“So, why couldn’t she come today?” Luke asks, tuning his guitar on the couch.

“Eh, I didn’t ask her,” Julie admits.

“Why not?” Luke gives her a pointed look, his movements faltering.

“She would’ve told me if it was that important,” she claims. She looks off, before seeing him go back to his previous state. “Luke, you've been tuning that guitar for half an hour, I think it’s good.”

He rolls his eyes.

“So, Y/N really can’t come today?” Reggie asks, saddened over the news. “But, she never misses a rehearsal unless it’s family, or school related.”

Luke finally stops, setting down his guitar. “Wait,” he starts. “Didn’t progress reports come out today?”

Everyone looks at him weirdly. “How do you know that?” Alex questions, spinning his drumstick.

“Oh--uh.” He scratches the back of his head. “When I visited Julie at school the other day, I heard something about it.”

Julie turns his head towards him. “Are you talking about when Y/N said something about it to Flynn? A couple feet away from us? Yeah I heard her too, because I was facing her.” She crosses her arms. “I think someone has a crush,” she teases, smiling widely.

“What?!” A subtle blush paints over his cheeks. “I don’t like Y/N like that, she’s--she’s just a good friend.”

“Oh come on!” Alex joins. “It’s so obvious, don’t think I don’t notice when you stare at her.” He sends a wink to Luke.

“Or when you talk about her,” Reggie adds. “Which is all the time.”

“Just tell her,” Julie advises.

“Tell her?” Luke repeats, giving her a look of disbelief. “I don’t think you’ve guys noticed, but I’m dead, and she’s very much alive.”

“So?! Everyone knows you two are completely in love with each other, so give it a shot,” Julie urges, also knowing her friend's infatuation with the guitarist.

Luke chuckles. “She doesn’t like me, she rarely talks to me, to be honest I think she hates me.”

“You rarely talk to her,” Julie points out. “And ‘to be honest’ I think she thinks you hate her.” Luke’s posture caves hearing Julie’s words. “Are we going to get started now?”

Everyone nods.

Throughout practice Luke found his mind wandering back to the previous conversations the band had. A warm feeling would build in his stomach for a movement when he would think about the fact that Y/N likes him, or at least his friends think so. “Luke!” Alex shouts, snapping Luke out of his thoughts. “Practice is over,” he informs.

"It is?!” His eyes widened when an idea popped into his mind. “Well, won’t you look at that, it is over, and I completely forgot I made plans, bye!” Luke poofs out, landing in a girly room, but has a certain vibe to it.

“Luke!” Y/N shrieks, putting a hand over her heart. “What are you doing here?” she whisper-yells.

“T-the--” he snaps his fingers. “The guys wanted someone to check in on you, and Alex is hanging out with Willie, and Reggie is Reggie so… I volunteered.” He sways back and forth against his ankles. “Sooo… How are you doing?” He strolls up to her smoothly, placing an arm on the back of her chair.

“Luke… You are a terrible liar,” she asserts. “But, if you really want to know. I’m not doing too well.”

He frowns. “Why?”

“School,” she sighs. “We got our progress reports, and I’m not doing too well.” She tries to hide the paper from Luke.

“Y/N, don’t be embarrassed, I’m sure it’s not that bad.” He plucks the paper from under her arm. His reassuring smile slowly faded. “There’s… Room for improvement?” He shrugs.

“Get out,” Y/N mutters.

Luke’s heart plummeted. “What?”

“I said get out,” she repeats, harshly. “I get it, I’m dumb, and I’m lazy, and I don’t do my work. I get it. So, just leave.” Tears threatened to fall from her eyes. “I’m serious Luke.” Her voice cracks a little.

Guilt washed over him when he saw the effect his words take on her. “I’m sorry,” he whispers. He reaches out to hug her, but he instead goes straight through her.

Y/N doesn’t notice his attempt of this action, instead boring her eyes at the paper in front of her. “Luke, I said just go.” She rubs her forehead.

He didn’t move though, he instead started looking over the paper she hadn't touched. “Twenty-three,” he answers.

“What?” she chokes out.

“The answer, it’s twenty-three.” He looks at her, a little self-conscious. “Look, just because I didn’t have the best grades, or didn’t do work, didn’t mean I was dumb, so stop telling yourself that. We’re not so different you know.”

She scrunches her face. “How’d you get that?” she asks. “The answer to the question.”

His eyes light up when she accepts his explanation, not asking him to leave again. “So… I just did…”

He talks through the problem, asking Y/N if she understands when her eyes widen. He noticed she does that when she’s getting confused, or is not fully processing the words. As they go through each subject, him helping her, or giving his opinion on things. She started to find herself smiling, and having fun? “Wow,” he whispers, reading a poem. “You just wrote this?”

She nods. “Yeah, I know, it’s not that great.”

“No! It’s really good for something you wrote in five minutes,” he compliments, rereading the poem in his head. “Who knew you were such a romantic?” he teases.

Y/N feels her cheeks warm up. “That’s actually the first time I’ve heard that.”

“So, who’d you write it about?” he asks. He partially dreaded asking the questions. He didn’t want to picture her ever describing someone that wasn’t him in such a beautiful context. “C’mon, you can tell me, what am I going to do? Tell my ghost friends.”

Y/N giggles. “I--uh… Someone?” It comes out more as a question.

“Name?”

“Why you want to know so bad, huh?” she blurts, with a smirk. “Why? You jealous?” She knew he wasn’t, but the thought made her whole body catch on fire.

Luke, surprised by her sudden cockiness, sends her a smirk right back. “Well, what if I am?”

She scoffs. “Yeah, right,” she murmurs.

He tilts his head. “What is that supposed to mean?”

She gives him a ‘really’ look. “Luke, c’mon…” She waits for him to say something like ‘you’re right, I’m joking’, or anything along those lines, but he just stares back with the same intensity she has.

“What do you want me to say?”

The question lingers in Y/N’s mind. I want you to say you like me. That’s what she wanted to tell him, that’s what she wanted to hear. “Nothing,” she mumbles. “Absolutely nothing.”

He cracks a smile. “Just tell me!” After that he keeps repeating it over and over again.

“I want you to say you like me!” she shouts.

His eyes widened, but he didn’t seem uncomfortable, he seemed in awe of the situation. “Why are you shouting?” Y/N’s mom asks, rushing in.

“Because I’ve gotten ten assignments turned in!” Y/N cheers trying to ignore Luke giving her a big smile, seriously, it’s scary how wide it is.

“I like you too,” he whispers, her heart dropping. It’s like he couldn’t contain his little secret for any longer, but now it leaves Y/N impatient as her mom stares down at her on the bed.

“That’s good! she assures. “Though it would’ve been better if you turned them in on time, but at least they’re in.” Y/N nods at her mom's backhanded compliment. “Anyways, dinners ready.”

“Ah, yes.” Y/N shuts her laptop. “I forgot humans have to eat.”

“Can I stay?” Luke asks.

“In my room,” she answers.

“You’re going to eat in your room?” her mom asks.

“Can you?” Luke perks up, hearing it. “Just say you want to finish your work, because you’re already in the groove, or something!” His eyes are pleading Y/N to stay with him, leaving her almost speechless.

“Y-yeah,” she stutters. “There’s a few more things I want to do before I call it a night, and I’m kind of in… ‘The Groove’,” she discreetly ridicules the boy next to her that’s invisible to her mom's eyes.

“Okay, just come down when you’re ready.”

Y/N sighs of relief when she hears the door shut quietly. “So, you like me?” She was slightly breathless from the beautiful boy so close to her.

“Yeah,” he responds. His eyes didn’t meet hers though.

“You don’t seem sure,” she judges.

His gaze locks with her. “I’m just nervous,” he reveals. “You make me really nervous. I thought you hated me just an hour ago, and now…”

She gapes at him. “I thought you hated me!”

“That’s what Julie said,” he adds, pointing towards her.

Y/N jolts her body away from him. “You spoke about me with Julie?” As if she summoned her, Julie’s contact lights up her phone. “Hello,” she answers.

“Is Luke over there?” she asks. “Sorry! Hi, it’s just the boys were worried.” Y/N sneaks a glimpse towards Luke who can’t seem to take his eyes off of her, it’s like he’s trying to memorize every single part of her body.

“He’s not, but I had a question for you.” Luke looks at Y/N confused as to why she lied. “Did you guys talk about anything earlier? He was acting weird, and you know with you being good friends with him, and us being the best of friends, I wanted to know.”

“Oh my God!” she exclaims. “He was out of it the entire rehearsal after we told him you weren’t going to be there, and he was all worried, and concerned, it was adorable. Dude is so in love with you it’s insane. I mean even Reggie and Alex were talking about how he talks about you, and how he stares at you, and how he’s so invested in you. I’d say he’s obsessed.”

Y/N lets out a victorious hum. “Good to know, well, I’ll let you know if I see him--oh wait, he’s right next to me, thanks for the info.” Y/N hangs up.

“She told you about rehearsal didn’t she?” He plays with the rings on his fingers, a nervous habit he picked up.

“Yep.” Y/N pops the ‘p’. “She said you’re obsessed with me.”

“Not true!” he argues. “Sort of…” He pouts. “Not in a creepy way though!” He tries to grab her hand, but it goes straight through. “This will be interesting.”

“Yeah,” Y/N agrees. “But, we’ll get through it…”

Luke then learned one thing about himself that night. He was touched-starved.

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yandere-society · 4 years ago

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Scream

Pairing: Jungkook x reader

Synopsis: It’s been a year since your mother was slaughtered, with no leads pointing to any possible suspects. It’s been an up-hill battle for you to accept what happened— especially with no answers or closure— and the citizens of your hometown have been sleeping with one eye open ever since. But now, the mystery killer has decided to make an anniversary visit, and is making it known that they not only have a dire love for infamous horror films... but they also have their targets set on you and all of your closest friends.

Word count: 8k

Headline: Small Town Woodsbroro Is Waking Up Screaming Once Again!

Warnings: dark themes; Gore; Smut; Crackhead humor (only because I promised my bff I’d give her an honorable death scene); Foul language; Jungkook is psychotic; Graphic depictions of him killing your mom/friends; we’re also going to pretend that it’s outrageously easy to get away with murder; dont fact check me on anything you read here; rough sex; mask kink.

Admin: @tatertotthethot

Baley was high as a fucking kite.

So high, that she didn’t care about it being 1am as she blasted the Cha-Cha slide at full volume.

So high, that she was completely disregarding her lactose intolerance whilst making herself a triple layered, sharp cheddar grilled cheese that was bound to have her ass blasting right back off by 3am.

So, outrageously stoned, that she was totally unaware of the masked killer standing just outside the glass doors in her kitchen, watching her every move.. With her beat up, hogtied boyfriend laying out next to him.

“Now it’s time to fawnky! To the right now—“

She crab walked along with the instructions, spatula in hand.

“To the left!”

“Take it back now, y’all.”

Ghostface grimaced beneath his mask, eyes stalking the stoned woman with disdain. She was the epitome of “crackhead energy” and it pissed him off how much she resembles you. It only makes sense, being as you two have been best friends since kindergarten— probably soulmates in a past life— but it is within that fact that Ghostface has grown to absolutely fucking loath her.

She’s too much like you. She keeps up with your humor and probably has more of your heart than he, himself, has earned a place in yet. He knows good and well that if it ever came down to you having to pick between him and her, you’ll pick her.

That simply will not do. That’s exactly why he is about to rid you of that option— or, as he sees it, the dilemma.

He growled and swung at the air, wishing he could just bust in and end her already.

“How could you be in love with that creature?” He hissed at Taehyung, the built-in voice box beneath his mask altering it enough to remain anonymous. The question was quite hypocritical, being as he was in love with a girl that most would consider Baley’s second-half, but only you were an exception to being so.. abnormal.

“Mmmph—“ Taehyung drearily gurgled out from beneath the strip of tape over his mouth, tears breaching his eyes as he watched Baley’s precious, uncoordinated ass do the “Charlie brown”. It looked more like a fucked up gallop.

“What is the sex like, dude?” Ghostface ripped the duck tape off Taehyung’s split lips. “That’s a serious question.”

“Boo bear..” was all Taehyung could muster up, more scared for her than himself.

Ghostface gagged and slapped the tape right back on with a little too much force, having to take a second to regain his composure before pressing the call button on Taehyung’s phone. The Spotify music thankfully cut off as her phone rang out from the counter.

Baley was only upset for a split before she spotted the name on her phone screen, and was quick to answer it with a sickening amount of glee.

“Angel muffin!” She cooed. Gross

“Hi, boo bear..” Ghostface flipped his middle finger up at Taehyung before clutching his Bowie knife back down to his side.

“Oh my God, What was that? You sound like Corpse, mixed with the bear from Five Nights At Freddy’s.”

“The bears name is Freddy, dumbass.”

Baley neck rolled back in offense.

“Are you trying to get pegged or prolapsed? Might wanna remember who the fuck you’re talking to, the next time you call this cellular.” She snapped, hanging the phone up with a viscous pout. She still somehow managed to pick back up on the beat and cha-cha’d real smooth as she took the pot off the eye and turned the stove off, visibly upset.

Ghostface stood there for a moment, processing what she just said, before turning towards Taehyung.

“She claps your cheeks?”

Taehyung glared back at the screaming-ghost mask, bracing himself when a gloved hand reached out to once again rip the ductape off his lips.

“It’s not sus!” He immediately defended. “I have a gspot up there for a reason. I am not ashamed to use it.”

“I don’t give a fuck about that!” The killer snapped out. “why would you let that.. unstable individual insert something into your rectum—“

“You’ve got a whole lotta nerve calling somebody else unstable,” Taehyung deadpanned, and with that, his mouth was once again resealed shut.

He called Baley’s phone again, just as she was about to take a bite of the sandwhich that she’ll, unfortunately, never get to eat.

“What, fucker?” She scorned.

“I can see you.”

“Oh, yeah?” She sarcastically spat. “Then what am I doing?”

She clenched her buttcheeks in and hunched her back out, her body resembling a question mark, before vigorously gyrating her body- mostly just her spine. Jungkook knows from the various tiktoks you’ve shown him that he was witnessing the inverted-twerk.

“Hm? Tell me, fuckboy. What am I doing?”

”Something a fucking cockroach does after I spray Raid on it. How the fuck do you clench your buttcheeks like that?”

Baley halted in mid thrust, surprised but not exactly fearful (yet) as she whizzed around to face the sliding glass doors that led into her back yard. It was pitch black outside, and all she could see was her own reflection starring back at her. She was also too high to care about the fact that she had the hood of her sweatshirt over her head and the strings pulled all the way out, which only exposed the center of her face in a squished circle.

“I use my glutes. You know that. Why haven’t you come in?” She asked, not superstitious but a lil-stitious.

“This isn’t Taehyung.”

“Okay, Isn’t Taehyung. Why haven’t you come in?”

“Because I want you to come out here.” The killer responded, grinning at the visible unease finally creeping into the girls stance.

“Okay, babe— I hate to be a bummer here, but considering that today is the one-year anniversary of Ms. (L/N)’s murder, this isn’t very Cash Money of you. Can you please just come in and.. stop?”

He let out a chuckle, a dark one.

“Boo bear?”

“What, Isn’t Taehyung?”

“Turn on the outside lights.“

Ghostface put the speaker on the phone and sat it on the ground as he crouched over Taehyung, pulling him to sit up straight. He watched as Baley apprehensively padded over to the light switch by the door. He could practically feel her heart beating in-sync with Taehyung’s racing one as he placed the knife to his neck, smiling beneath his disguise.

The lights flickered on, and she screamed, terror finally bringing the seriousness out in the situation.

“HANG UP OR MOVE A MUSCLE AND HE DIES!” The killer roared, knowing she was still too high for her survival instincts to kick in. Any sober, sane individual would’ve probably caught on to the fact that they were gonna die no matter what she did. What was just making it easier for himself, knowing her dumbass was gonna comply.

“W-What do you want me to do?”

See?

“Be a good girl, and come here.”

“Quit trying to seduce me, you sick son of a bitch. My boyfriend’s literally right there!” She croaked out, voice shrill with exasperation.

The killer plunged the knife into Taehyung’s arm, making him jolt to life with a pain-filled howl. Baley began sobbing out, apologizing profusely.

“Your boyfriends going to get gutted like a fish if I have to repeat myself. Drop the phone and come here.” Ghostface seethed, wrenching the knife back out on the last word.

Baley reluctantly— and stupidly— did as told. She let the phone fall from her hand, then jumped out of her skin as the Bluetooth reconnected in the house and started playing WAP. She tried not to sing along despite the situation as she padded over, shaky hands rising to cover her mouth.

“N-Now what?” She asked.

“I just figured your last words should be said face-to-face. Is there anything you two would like to say to each other?” He asked, that being the only generosity he’d be willing to spare as he ripped the tape away from Tae’s mouth, one last time.

Baley dropped to her knees, so much despair in her eyes. So many things she wanted to say. She recollected herself and caught her breath in just enough time to utter final goodbye: “I-I-I said certified freak..”

Tae’s eyes closed as a single tear escaped, nodding his head in understanding. “Seven days a week...”

“GAH!” The killer roared out, wrenching Taehyung’s head back to slice his throat before shoving him away and lunging at Baley.

She landed on her back with him on top, and he wasted no time as he began slashing her apart, in any way he possibly could. He let all the pent up rage and annoyance he felt towards her, out on her body. It was worse than the brutality he inflicted on to your mother this time last year. He’d only stabbed her a total of 19 times— one for every year she failed you as a mother. With Baley, he didn’t stop tearing into her until WAP ended. And damn, did it feel good. He finally felt like he’d purged his soul clean.

This may all seem reckless, but Jungkook was actually just lucky. In order to mask his true motive behind all this, he had to find another one to cover it with. It was simply convenient that Baley’s father is the town mayor, and after a little digging, he made the grand discovery that he was also having a secret affair with (Y/N)’s mother. In fact, the mayor had several mistresses throughout the town.

Jungk—er, Ghostface.. chopped off one of Baley’s fingers and slid the glass door shut, writing the same words on it that he wrote on your mother’s bathroom mirror.

CHEATING PIG!!

Yes. When he did this last year, the police had to dissect through your mother’s long line of past sexual partners, and had to track down the father you never met for an interview. No leads came about, because it was all time wasted, anyways. Now, with this new addition, the mayor will not only have to set the scandals ablaze again by having to publicly confess his infidelity to the town and police, but they’ll have to lead on another pointless investigation for every woman he’s cheated with— over a dozen of them. They’ll have to also charge him with withholding crucial information from the investigation as well, but what’s so fucking comical about it all is that.. NONE of it has anything to do with any of this. It’ll just be another cold case with no leads.

And maybe, just MAYBE you’ll be smart enough to ditch this place and come with him. That’s all he wanted. You have nothing left and nothing to come back to now, and as long as you give in to him and leave, there won’t have to be anymore lives taken. You could start a new life and never experience another hell like the one he’s creating here. If only you’d say yes.

“May you both continue to clap each other’s cheeks in the deepest depths of hell,” he told the mauled corpses as he walked off, so happy to have Baley gone that he almost wanted to skip to his car.

Now, he will go home and clap your cheeks to complete the cycle.

—

“Damnit, bitch, pick up,” you huffed in frustration as Baley’s FaceTime continued to roll over, telling you that she’s unavailable. You thought you could power through today with your newly adapted ability to suppress shit, but it was hard when you’re left alone to reminisce. You just couldn’t shake the fact that the date on today’s calendar marked the same day that your heart, soul, and peace of mind was so horribly torn apart.

It didn’t help that you also missed your mother terribly. She wasn’t always the best, but she still loved you, and you loved her. Oh, God. Mom—

No. No. Don’t think about her.

You tried calling Baley one more time and couldn’t fight off the tremble in your hands, nor the tears at your water ducts as it rung through till the end. Damnit.

You couldn’t be angry. She doesn’t owe you the company— especially since you two have already been FaceTiming all day. But she was good at distractions, always able to drag you out of your shell of deprecation with her chaotic sense of humor. She is one of the only two people you have in your life that are capable of doing such, but you knew you’d get scolded if you blew up the others phone. Jungkook hates being hounded and rushed, having already told you that he’ll be there any minute. But he’s taking way too fucking long it seems, and you just hate sitting here, waiting.

You can’t shake the feeling that you’re being watched. The feeling first crept up on you this time last year and never left. You felt so venerable to the cruel world when you’re alone, especially since the maniac is still out there.

You still resent the police department for practically giving up on your mother’s case after 9 months. “Cheating pig” was the only lead they got and yet, it pointed them no where. She wasn’t in a relationship. She didn’t even like relationships. And still, they deemed it a randomized attack— no leads, no motives. Nothing. Just a local woman stabbed in the chest 19 times while taking a shower. Like some Psycho remake. No signs of forced entry. No evidence of sexual assault. Just a very passionate, yet unexplainable massacre with a useless message left behind.

It doesn’t make sense. And even though you wish to never have the attacker come back, you can feel it in your bones that they will wish to clarify it one day.

“Fuck it.” You breathed out, heart slamming against your chest and paranoia gnawing at your insides as you quickly scrolled to Jungkook contact. But then, just as your thumb twitched to press the call button, your door bell rung and you sprung up to your feet, making a mad dash to the door. You checked the peep hole first, just knowing it was gonna be him, but was disappointed when it wasn’t. That still didn’t keep a rush of relief from washing over you when you did see who it really was, though. You forced a welcoming smile on to your face as you unlocked all 7 bolts from the door, and opened it to greet Namjoon and Hobi with a hug.

They were cops, currently in their uniforms, also old friends from highschool. They’ve been looking out for you ever since last year, always making sure you knew you were safe beneath their watch. They use to take turns guarding your house until they were told to stop, but you were extremely happy to see them both here at the same time tonight.

“Everything okay?” Hobi asked, having noticed the shake in your limbs during the brief embrace. He leaned back and observed the tension in your eyes, even though you were hoping to hide it.

“Yes, just— today,” was all you could say, and didn’t have to clarify for them to understand.

“That’s why we’re here. We got permission to guard your house tonight,” Namjoon explained, eyes drifting over your shoulder and into your house. “Are you alone?”

“Yes, but Jungkook should be here any minute now. He had to go to South Korea for a week for his fathers birthday and just flew back in tonight, but apparently there’s been some huge wreck on the main highway and everyone has been stuck.”

That bit of information was actually true. However, Jungkook was lucky enough to have just miss it.. because he’s the one that actually caused it. It was honestly dumb-luck as to how he did it, but kind of amazing when given details.

He was in the express lane, him and the car behind him hitting 80mph. He recognized the car as the one that was parked beside his back at the airport, because he had stopped and took a moment to judge the driver for how worn down and raggedy the tires were. One bad pot hole or nail in the road would strip that sucker straight from the rim.

And that’s exactly what inspired him as he recognized the car, an idea sparking that could soon serve as an alibi in the future. He already had a hand out the window, smoking a cigarette. He still has those iron steak-nails he used at his construction sight. They’re 5 inches in length, subtle enough to casually drop out of a car window along with the cigarette. If they hit just right...

He gave it a try, honestly thinking it wasn’t going to work.

But holy fucking hell, did it. Not even a second after he dropped it, did the car suddenly swerve out as it’s tires screeched and sparks flew. Rubber scattered out amongst the road as the car continued to spin out, getting struck by a the car in all 6 lanes of traffic, ultimately causing a huge pile up in just under 10 seconds. It was the most destruction he’s ever witnessed and it happened so fucking fast he almost ran himself off the road just watching from the rear view mirror.

“NO FUCKING WAY!” Jungkook had squawked out as his head rapidly whipped back and forth to witness the massive mess he just created behind him. He was smiling like the maniac he is, undoubtably impressed with himself. He did it so lazily, too. But it only pumped him up even more for what he needed to do- the whole reason he even thought to do that. He only wanted something major enough to buy himself maybe an hour’s worth of time, so that when/if he gets interrogated in the future, they can check the traffic reports for a registered wreck to fit his alibi. But considering that he just shut the whole damn highway down, it’ll not only register but definitely make tonight’s news.

“Ah, yeah. We heard about that. 36 cars piled up. Can’t believe nobody was killed.” Namjoon said.

“How the fuck did that even happen?” You wondered, baffled.

“Some dickhead was going 80 an hour on an old tire and it wiped out after hitting a nail on the road. Thankfully, he only has a broken nose and whip flash, but with all the cars that got totaled— I don’t even want to know how much the cost of damage would be. But it caused 5 miles worth of traffic back-up.”

“Mm..” you grimaced, shaking your head. “Well.. would you guys like some dinner? Maybe some Coffee?”

“Ah, thanks, but there’s no need. We’ve got all the energy drinks and McDonald’s we need. You just chill out for the night, we’re right out here if you need anything,” Hobi assured, making you genuinely smile for the first time in the past two days.

But that was just before a familiar car pulled up that had your mood skyrocketing.

“FINALLY!” You broke out, sprinting down the steps and over the driver side of it right as the man of the hour stepped out. He welcomed you with open arms and easily lifted your feet up of the ground.

He looked just as good as he smelt. You’ve missed him more than words could describe in this past week— and Jungkook knew it. Of course, he had offered to take you with him so that you could finally meet his parents. But as predicted, you declined, saying that it’d be too much to meet his mother when the anniversary of your own’s death was approaching.

You continued to squeeze your arms around his neck for the next several seconds, and it wasn’t until he heard you sniffling and felt your shoulders shake that he realized you were crying. He couldn’t help but like that type of reaction. He was hoping the distance would torment you, maybe teach your ass a lesson.

“Don’t cry,” he rumbled in your ear as he pressed you hard against his lower half, making sure to up the intimacy of the embrace as he felt the eyes of the onlookers in the yard.

He waited for a second before peering over at the officers, who were awkwardly standing beside their cars. He gave a wave, pretending as if he were sheepish about them having to witness this.

“How’s it goin, guys?”

“Fine, fine,” Hobi responded. “Don’t mind us. We’re just here to watch out for you guys.”

“I appreciate that. Really.” He said in his best acting voice, even flashing a dimpled grin that gave off nothing but innocence as the two got into a patrol car, nodding to him in welcome. It actually makes things more convenient for him. They’ll be able to backup his whereabouts later on.

He pondered this while returning his attention to you, coaxing you out of your emotional outburst.

“I’m sorry. It’s just been so hard not having you here. Fuck, I’m so glad you’re back.” You breathed in and sighed out, and he could tell by the end of the last sentence that you were more-so talking to yourself, clinging to him one last time just to greedily soak in the physical presence of his body. He felt something ache in his heart, as well as his jeans.

“Well, I’m here now. Maybe next time, you’ll just go with me,” he lightly chided, hand coming up to pet your head as he kissed the top of it.

“Yeah.. I started regretting it after the first hour you left.” You whispered out, meeting his lips. You kissed each other a couple times, probably more than necessary. But it calmed you down and made you feel steady again. “Come on, I made you something to eat.”

He got his duffel bag out from the back seat and slung it over his shoulder before taking your hand, following you inside. It boosted his ego knowing that the two men watching from the tinted windows of the car were secretly jealous of him. They had a thing for you. Almost every straight guy in highschool did. That’s why he never minded what you wore, and was more than happy to let you flaunt yourself to their eyes. He liked teasing others, knowing they’ll never have such a prize as you.

Once inside, you were quick to relock your bolts. You were very strict about that now, taking extra precautions to prevent a potential attack. It kind of humored him knowing that it was him, a resident inside this very home itself, that those locks were meant to keep out. You’re literally locking yourself in with the killer.

“Damn, you cleaned the hell out of this place.” He ogled, not only taking in the immaculacy but smelling the pinesol and bleach amongst the floors and counter tops. All the laundry was folded, not a speck of dust in sight. You even cleaned the grout amongst the kitchen flooring, it seemed. Nothing looked out of place.

“I had to do something to keep from wigging out,” you shrugged, walking over to start the microwave for him to heat up his dinner plate. He left his duffel bag by the door and grabbed himself a beer before sitting at the table, noticing it’s prestigious shine.

“Did you polish it?”

“Yeah...” you said as you scratched the back of your neck, somehow embarrassed.

“It’s looks amazing in here, kitten. Really. I know you did it to cope but still, you did a damn good job.” He praised, feeling a little bad. He knows this took a lot of work, and it sucks that you opted to do all this just to keep the anxiety of his absence away.

“Thank you,” you sighed, taking his plate out and sitting in down in front him, then handing him some utensils.

“Where’s your plate?”

“I already ate, silly. I’ll munch with you, though.” You began making yourself a salad as he began to eat, complimenting you on how good it was. He doesn’t know that you’ve been awake for two days straight, and that you’re still battling off an anxiety attack. You were expecting it to vanish now that he’s here, but the sleep deprivation was getting to you.

So, you decided to reminisce on better memories. The old days; back when you first met him.

It was senior year of highschool, and he was the new transfer student from South Korea. He was the punk-emo guy that stood out amongst the crowd. All black clothing, more band shirts than anything. He had that messy mop-hair going on, and approximately 6 piercings on each ear, along with a studded labret to boot.

From day one, he was the most attractive guy you’ve ever laid eyes on. Much to his exterior trope, he was anti-social and didn’t seem friendly at all. The only time you personally heard him speak for the first few months of school was when he’d answer the teacher for roll call.

You only had one class together, chemistry. He’d always sit at the back of the classroom, and you’d remember the giddiness you’d feel just before walking into class and making eye contact with him, even for just a split second. You heart always skipped a beat and would threaten to seize up whenever Baley would lean over and tell you that he was looking at you again. Of course, that would be all the interaction you could get, being as you refused to engage any further. But life seemed to play out like a Wattpad fic back then.

Around the middle of first semester, your teacher was fed up with all the chatter amongst friends, so she decided to assign seats. Jungkook’s was still at his designated one, but you had to sit directly in front of him so that Taehyung could sit closer up, next to Baley. It’s also thanks to that class that the two of them fell for each other. It was also the same day she issued a partner-assignment that had to be done with the peer behind you.

You remembered having to play it cool, turning your desk and chair around to face him head-on for the first time ever. You anticipated that he’d still be sporting that ice-cold, disinterested glare, but he actually seemed pleased. He wasn’t actually smiling but he had a friendly glint in his eyes, like he welcomed you.

“Hello,” he started off, naturally confident in himself.

“Howdy,” you responded, immediately hating yourself. You’ve never uttered such a word in your life and you don’t know why the fuck you decided that that was the perfect moment to try it out.

He only snorted back at you, though, amusement swirling in his colorless eyes. You were intimidated by that as well. They were jett black. No distinction between his pupils and his irises. Just solid, black orbs boring into you.

You then continued to battle with basic communication.

“So, uhm.. wh—..”

English, motherfucker! Do you speak it?!

“What parts do you wanna do?” You rushed out.

“I’ll get the information together and answer the questions, as long as you create the PowerPoint and present it to the class,” he said without missing a beat, as if he’d already decided on that for the both of you.

“What criteria, though?” You asked, still waiting on that part.

“All of it...” He reiterated in a “duh” tone.

“That’s not fair to you, though...” you continued.

He arched an impressively sharp brow. “How?”

“You’re literally doing all the hard work.”

He shrugged, and you tried not to drool when you saw all his rings and the veins on his hands and fingers as he took his phone out. “I learned this shit back when I was freshman in South Korea. We’re way ahead of y’all there.”

“Oh.. well.. I can at least do the images and label them.”

Stop starring at his fingers.

“Mm,” he hummed with a lack of conviction, still looking at his phone. “No offense, but no.”

“Uhm.. okay..” you frowned in dejection, not sure how to respond to that.

“I said no offense,” he grinned up at you apologetically. “I just know you’re bad with visualizations.”

“What? I have an A in here. How do you even know that?”

“The teacher got onto you for messing up the labels on the last test. You got all the functions right but failed to match them to their description.” He said without any hesitation, and you were just as stunned as you were embarrassed. But he didn’t seem to be insulting you, and even reassured you of it. “Again, no offense. I just think it’s best for the both of us if I do it.”

“Okay. Cool,” You agreed, deciding to let him have it. Your face still burned, though.

“You still have an important role, don’t worry. Presentation is worth 40%, so you’re still gonna have to put in work and present it accordingly.”

“I can do that.” You nodded, suddenly feeling like you were sitting before a full grown man rather than a teenage boy. You couldn’t help but ask: “How old are you?”

“19,” he mused, as if he knew what you were thinking. He didn’t even ask you why you asked, and instead returned his attention back to his phone screen. “You?”

“18,” you muttered, your eyes reconnecting to his hands like magnets.

You really wanted to compliment them but decided against it, being as you were no longer as confident with this situation. Sure, he deserves to know how beautiful his hands are but you’re weren’t going to be the one to say it. You were expecting a cheeky personality at most, just because it fits the mischievous bad boy bullshit you read about in teen fiction, but you were instead met with a blunt and mature persona that made you intimidated in a way that you’ve never experienced before. He almost seemed.. authoritative to you.

“I see you like my rings.” He smirked, eyes not even looking back up at you. You had spaced out whilst tracing the path of his veins again, and immediately cut your eyes down to your own phone, feigning innocence.

“Whatchu mean?”

“Everyone like my hands, for some reason. I see you’re no different.”

“I ain’t even looking at your hands. Maybe you’re just too conceded,” you shot back, leg nervously pouncing as he lifted his head up to peer at you.

“Really?” He sarcastically challenged, making your insides stir. He sat up straight and pulled his hands back under his desk. “So the gold rings didn’t even catch your eye?”

“Your rings are silver.” You said without even thinking, then straight up face-palmed when you caught yourself.

“Thought so.” He openly grinned, and the little notion caused butterflies to erupt in your tummy. He pulled his phone back out and still wore that playful grin of his as you bashfully held his gaze. “Now, if you think you can manage to tell the truth, what’s your phone number?”

It’s amazing looking back at those memories, because you’re now starting to think that maybe Jungkook just knew back then that you two were going to hit it off. He’s always seemed so sure of himself when it came to you, always knew what the next move was gonna be and never once sent mixed signals or struggled to express how he felt towards you. He’s the most straightforward person you know, so much that it’s almost unnatural at times. If he was ever bluffing about anything outside of being playful, you’ve never been able to call it.

But damn, are you madly in love with him. You guess his ability to always remain focused and blunt is perfect for a person like you. He keeps you moving... well, for the most part. He wants you to move back to South Korea with him, and although you know you’ll eventually give in, you’ve been trying to hold off on it for as long as you can.

It won’t be as easy for you as it was for him. Jungkook was already fluent in English when he came here, thanks to his mother’s bilingualism. He hardly even had an accent from how well adjusted he was to your language. You, however, don’t know a bit of Korean. For you to go there, it would impair you in almost every single way. You won’t be able to go anywhere without him. You won’t be able to read directions or road signs. You won’t be able to go out and eat or order off the menu if there isn’t any pictures. You won’t be able to work. You’ll have to adapt to a whole new culture and way of communication, just to properly function outside of your home without him at your side.

Which, brings along another point, you’ll be without any friends. You don’t want to live in a world where you can’t go out with Taehyung and Baley whenever you wanted. You’ll be lonely as hell and home sick, he’ll be your only source of humanly contact until you learn.

You’ve told yourself that if the two of you remain stable for one more year, then you’ll go. You are ready for a change, but if you could just get one more year of preparation, you’ll be ready to go. You’ll take that leap of faith with him.

“What is it, kitten?” He finally asked, the prolonged silence getting to him.

“Nothing,” you lied, but didn’t want to divulge. “How was your trip?”

“Nice, but I was bummed out the whole time.” He shot you a look that made you pout in apology, but continued. “I talked all about you to them, showed them pictures. Almost fucked up and showed my cousin your vagina.”

You choked on your salad, which made him laugh. “I told you to put those in your hidden folder.”

“There’s so many, I just haven’t taken the time to pick them all out. It’s okay though, they only saw your face. They all think very beautiful— especially my mom.”

Your smile grew at that, “Yeah?”

“Yeah. So does my grandmother and my aunts. They were passing my phone around more than the dishes.” He snorted to himself, “They were even more surprised to see how much I smiled in our selfies. Which... I should warn you, when you do finally see my parents house, don’t be surprised when you spot our photo booth pictures framed in the hall. My mom went feral when she saw how much of a simp I was being in those.”

“She printed those out?!” You almost cried.

“Yes, she did. She printed each one individually and framed them side-by-side.”

“Aw, Kookie. I should’ve just went. I’m so sorry.” You pouted, guilt causing your heart to sink.

“You weren’t ready, angel. They understood,” He assured you, leaning forward to take your hand in his. You suddenly wanted to cry again.

“But I promise to go next time. Or whenever you wanna take me. I swear, I’ll go.” You said in determination, and was a little thrown off by his reaction.

His face went blank for a moment c like his brain needed a second to buffer.

“You will?” He inquired, that being the first time you’ve actually agreed or expressed any type of want. “Why now?”

“Because it sounds like they really want to meet me, too? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. That’s great. I just figured you wouldn’t be moved by that. You really wanna go now?”

“Yeah. Your family sounds so nice.”

“Was that what kept you from coming?” He interrogated, and it’s clear that he genuinely had no faith in you ever entertaining the idea.. which was a little disheartening. You’ve never said you’d never want to go, you’ve always kept a window open for later. You not sure why he’s so surprised.

“No, not necessarily. I wasn’t ready to meet them but if they’re that excited to meet me, then.. of course it’ll make me want to meet them, too. And get a little taste of South Korea.”

“Alright, I’ll plan a trip,” he had to say with forced enthusiasm, which you bought as you kissed his lips. Inwardly, though, he was screaming. If all it fucking took was a little conviction by saying his family was nice, just to make you consider.. them maybe he wouldn’t have had to do what he just did.

Whatever. Extra insurance. He had to tell himself, and decided to retrain his thoughts back on you as he remembered something.

“I have a special surprise for you.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm,” he stood up and walked over to his duffel, fishing around before pulling something out. “Close your eyes.”

You did as told, and waited about 10 seconds.

“Open.”

You almost shit yourself upon hearing the voice, then came closer to shitting yourself when you took in the familiar Ghostface mask that you seen in the movie Scream.

“WHUZZZUUHHH!” He drawled out while doing the cowabunga fingers, and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Where the hell did you get that?”

“Halloween store. I got it in Korea.”

That was a lie. He’s had two of these masks for over two years, both of which he got from Party City here in America. He bought one to kill your mother in— the same one he just wore to kill your friends in— and the other one was meant for what he wanted to do now. He wanted to fuck you with it on. He’s not sure why, but why not? You might discover you have a mask kink.

“What the fuck is up with the voice?”

“Sexy, ain’t it?” He animatronically purred out, and it wasn’t until he fully stepped forward and began undoing his belt that you realized he was already shirtless.

Your eyes grew wide as you landed back in your chair, unable to decipher if this was a joke or not. You soon realized it wasn’t as he was now popping his button loose and unzipping his pants— his hardening dick print becoming more prominent.

“You’re not fucking me with that mask on,” you blurted out, sticking your foot out to stop him from advancing any closer.

“I’m fucking you with this mask on,” he argued, grabbing your ankle. “Consider it pay back for the time you refused to give me head unless I let you wear your Burger King crown.”

“No, Darth Vader.” You tried pulling your leg back but soon wound up almost getting drug out of your chair and onto the floor. Your unease soon turned into giggles and screams as wound up besting your play fight, his mask only coming off long enough to go down on you at the kitchen table.

And that’s what set the night off. You went from getting your pussy eaten at the dinner table to getting your throat wrecked on the living room couch. Then you were forced to watch yourself get rammed up against your body mirror in the bedroom, and now you’re bent up like a pretzel amongst your bed.

“Ah— GAH!” You grunted in struggle, finding it hard to cuss like you wanted being as a hand was firmly constricting your air supply. You watched the masked man above you as he heatedly fucked into you, his chain dangling above your face. Your ankles helplessly swayed around his shoulders with each brutal slap of his pelvis. Your face still stung from the actual slaps of his palms, causing you to flinch any time his hands moved. You noticed done time throughout all this that he was hellbent on making you look at that damn mask. You weren’t complaining, though. Just more-so concerned about how hot it must be under there.

But then he slowed down for a moment, trying not to cum again as he lowered his face to yours, and finally decided it was time it come off, being as you were ready for a kiss.

“T-Take that damn mask off—“

Wrong move.

He growled and ripped your hand away as you tried removing it yourself, and you were stunned by how much aggressive he became— more aggressive than he was already being, as if truly lashing out. He man-handled you, flipping you over and plunging back into you with way too much force. You yelped at the intrusion but could do nothing else as he pinned your hands behind your back, picking his speed right back up. He kept your hands locked in place with a single one of his own before clapping the other around your mouth, darkly chuckling at the fright on your face.

“I meant it when I said it’s staying on,” he rasped, pushing into you so deep that veins protruded from your neck in strain.

He couldn’t explain it— or maybe he could. But he felt extremely powerful when he wore this mask. It took him all of two rounds to finally admit to himself that it turned him on, knowing you were getting off to the very same face that your loved ones last looked at in sheer terror. He didn’t realize up until then that he somehow considered Ghostface as a different alternative to himself, one he was growing to like a little too much. It even made his dick more sensitive to the feel of you, making you seem tighter. And warmer. And sluttier.

He’s sure he began speaking Latin somewhere in the midst, but it wasn’t until he saw tears surfacing in your eyes that it dawned on him that his hand had somehow traveled up to cover your nose, as well as your mouth. A moment of panic shot through him when he dropped it and allowed you to breathe, thinking you were gonna make him stop. But much to his pleasant surprise, you only coughed out and mewled, head collapsing on the pillow as you pushed against him, a silent demand keep going. So he did. He made sure to keep the punishing pace up and running. Your body violently jolted with each slam, ass bone aching at the brutal impact. Each thrust was felt like a punch to your cervix and someway or another, you were okay with it.

Little did he know, it was actually because you didn’t want any type of deja vu happening. He fucked you in all the ways you liked the night before you found out that your mother was slaughtered inside your childhood home. You didn’t want tonight to be anything like it. So you let him hurt you.

If only you knew history was going to repeat itself, no matter what the two of you did.

It didn’t take but a few more strokes before he lost his ability to hold off, and emptied himself inside for the third time since he’s arrived back.

Once he did that, the blinds were illuminated in a dim grey, hinting at a sunrise. After a quick shower and clean up, the two of laid there, the mask finally gone.

“What are you thinking, baby?” Jungkook wondered, starring up at the ceiling. You haven’t said much of anything since that last bit. “Did I hurt you? Scare you?”

“No. I could take it.” You said, and it sounded genuine. But he still wanted to know what was on your mind. “I just don’t know what the hell I would do if I didn’t have you. You’re the only person I know that’s never even accidentally done wrong by me. You’ve been nothing but good.”

A void clouded his mind, emotional absence taking place of everything else. It’s a defense mechanism that he’s certain only comes up to block out any sense of guilt or remorse. He kept his gaze up at the ceiling, even as he felt you crane your neck back to look up at him.

“I love you, Kookie. Thank you for being here.”

“I love you too, baby,” he said numbly, those words being true... but his next words were not. “I could never imagine myself doing anything to hurt you.”

Being as he wasn’t planning on looking down, you crawled up for a moment just to kiss him, unbothered by the distant stare in his gaze. You then laid back down and got comfortable, readying yourself for a good days sleep.

“I think it’s finally time I start seeking happiness again, instead of contentment.”

That’s when it hit him. You didn’t notice how his heart cleaned beneath your head, nor was there any way you could feel the tension in his gut. He can’t say he feels full remorseful for what he did, because that would require him sympathizing for the innocent lives he’s taken away, with no rational reason. He simply didn’t feel anything for them. He was only concerned your pain, especially knowing it was unnecessary now. His trip to Korea was enough to motivate you to move on and consider a change of scenery. You didn’t need any fear to drive you out, you just needed time. God only knows how far of a set back this will be now. The fact that you’re laying here, currently thinking that life will only go up from here, when he knows damn good and well it’ll be in shambles again before the day ends..

He really needs to work on his impulses. Maybe homocide shouldn’t always be the first option he leans towards. It was just more fun that way.

But moments like this weren’t fun at all. He remembers how grueling it was last year, waking up with you at the sound of the doorbell going off. He remembers the grim look on the sheriffs face as he told them that they found your mother, dead. It was his arms that had to pick you up off the floor as you crumbled down and screamed, his ears that rung as he held you, not knowing how to console you. For the last year, it’s been his shoulder you’ve cried on, his company keeping you sane, his reassurance telling you that everything was going to be okay.... When it was his hands that caused every single bit of grieve all along.. and was about to cause even more.

So, he did the only thing he could do in that moment. He held you and mentally apologized, hoping that there was some way to telepathically tell you that you mean more to him than life itself, and that’s he’s so sorry for letting it drive him crazy at times. He’s still clinging to the original intention that you’ll say fuck it and flee with him, but he regrets going about it so recklessly.

You were fast asleep now, snoring even. He only hoped the discovery of the bodies would hold off long enough for you to get some much needed sleep. But it seems the universe was done working in his favor.

Those same, familiar knocks sounded off at the door, and he immediately ordered you to stay put as it woke you up.

“Probably just them checking up. Go back to sleep.” He whispered, assertively pushing your head back down and pulling on some sweats before going to the door.

It was the sheriff, same look on his face as last year.

“Sir?” Jungkook frowned, posing cluelessly.

The sheriff looked ghostly pale, like he was nauseated and on the verge of tears. Jungkook knew why but he had to act like it was a throw off.

“Sir..?” He repeated.

“Y’all’s friends.. Baley and Taehyung were found this morning.”

He had to stall and blink, as if he wasn’t catching on to the implications. The sheriff reluctantly continued.

“Baley was found, dead on arrival. Looks like the killer has returned.”

“Wh-What?” Jungkook stuttered, acting like he was bewildered. The sheriff’s next words, however, would spark a more genuine reaction.

“And Taehyung was found unconscious, but still alive.”

Jungkook’s veins ran colder than ever before, all mimicked emotions becoming sincere in that moment.

“Someone attempted to cut his throat, but aimed too high and cut his under jaw instead.”

Jungkook could only stare at the sheriff, probably just as pale in the face now.

“He’s in critical condition. Doctors don’t know if he’ll make it just yet, but there’s a fighting chance that he might.”

#yandere society #bts #jeon jungkook #yandere bts #yandere jungkook #jungkook x reader #bts x reader #bts halloween #bts crack #jungkook smut #bts smut

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imjustwritingg · 4 years ago

Text

braced myself for the goodbye

Hi friends! This is an 8x11 speculation fic as requested. All the talk of that amazing promo and the concerns of a possible Upstead breakup took me down a seriously deep rabbit hole of feelings and angsty goodness that became this one shot. Title is lyrics from the song “Mine” by Taylor Swift. Enjoy lovelies!

TW // mentions of domestic violence

Also on AO3 and FFNet!

Braced myself for the goodbye,

'Cause that's all I've ever known

Then you took me by surprise

You said, "I'll never leave you alone"

Twelve hours ago Hailey’s morning had started out so wonderfully. She had been half asleep, anticipating the sounding of her alarm to wake her for the day, but instead she was woken up with Jay’s lips ghosting over her skin. It was dreamlike, a glimpse of what heaven could be. She had smiled uncontrollably, wiggled against him, and when she rolled in his arms to face him she was greeted with a grin and his sleepy voice saying good morning.

“A very good morning indeed. Not a bad way to get woken up. Who’d have thought that elite Detective Jay Halstead would be such a sap? And a cuddler too.”

He had rolled his eyes at her, but there was a playful smirk on his face and he just pulled her closer against him. His arms wound under and around her and his hands pressed against her back. The feel of his fingers had sent goosebumps shooting out all across her skin.

“I think you love it,” he told her as he casted quick glances between her lips and her eyes.

“I do love it,” she said while moving her hand up his chest and around his neck to the back of his head.

He hummed out a response and leaned his head down closer so that little space was left between them.

“I love you,” he confessed.

He hadn’t given her a chance to respond and instead pressed his lips against hers for several moments, swallowing the moan that escaped her and not waiting or expecting her to say the words back.

The moment he said them and his lips were on hers, Hailey felt like she was floating. She knew she loved him, she had for a while, and a part of her knew he loved her too, but hearing the words as they fell from his lips was something she didn’t think she’d ever forget. It put an ache in her chest that was so good she wished she could bottle it up and keep it for forever.

The moment was cut short when they’d been interrupted yet again by a ringing phone and before she could say the words back that she so desperately wanted to say to him, they had to get dressed and head into the district. What Hailey hadn’t anticipated was the case they’re pulled into wrecking her beyond comprehension.

What was supposed to be a simple wellness check quickly turned into a search for a missing family and an ugly domestic violence case that Intelligence took the lead on. And in the process of connecting the dots and weeding through the lies of an abuser, Hailey was forced to remember her past and the monster her own father had been while she was growing up. The monster he could still be.

By the time the case is over and the last of the files have been closed, Hailey is completely deteriorated from the workday. She just wants to crawl into bed and try to forget, but when she enters her apartment she quickly spots a hoodie hanging over the back of her couch that doesn’t belong to her. Suddenly her heart aches again as she thinks about her partner.

Jay had been an anchor for her throughout the day just as he’d always been since they became partners. He kept her grounded without being overbearing, letting her know he was there for her and by her side. But as the day went on Hailey reflects on the abuse she doesn’t think she’ll ever really fully move on from.

Weekends that were supposed to be spent having fun with her brothers and being normal kids were instead spent running to the nearest sibling’s bedroom and locking the door when her father had drunk one too many beers.

His voice was always so loud when he was yelling that Hailey could swear the whole house would shake. He’d start downstairs, shouting at her mother, knocking his fists into her first, and when she’d sink to the floor or pass out he’d go in search of Hailey or one of her brothers.

There are moments she can remember so vividly hiding in so many places to avoid her father’s hands or whatever belt or cord he had been able to find. The back of a closet, the bathtub, under the dining room table, the shed out back when it wasn’t too cold. She’d spent so much of her childhood hiding and fearing her father, watching the relationship between him and her mother zig zag and spiral, that most days Hailey’s not sure how she turned out to be even remotely sane or normal by any means. She remembers how he’d always apologize to them all, tell them he loved them. Like loving someone and beating the crap out of them were synonymous and one in the same.

She tries so hard to not compare her life with her father to her relationship with Jay, but she can’t help it. She knows deep down that her partner would never think of hurting her the way her father has, but after the day she’s had and the too much time she’s had to think, she’s also unsure if she can love him back the way he deserves. She wonders if maybe it was a sign from the universe when they were interrupted earlier in the morning before she could say the words back to him that he so easily could say to her.

Maybe she wasn’t supposed to say them.

Maybe she wasn’t supposed to love him.

There’s a knock that breaks Hailey out of her thoughts and she makes her way to the door. She glances through the peephole and sighs.

Of course it’s him. Who else would it be?

She considers not opening it, but then thinks of what she has to do and the conversation that needs to be had so she opens the door and forces out a smile as she looks up at her partner.

“Hey,” Hailey nearly whispers.

“Hi,” he says back with a half-smile.

She lets him enter the apartment and closes the door behind him. She makes her way towards the kitchen, leans back against the island, and then nods to the couch.

“You left your hoodie here,” she tells him.

He glances to the couch and looks back at her, gives a short nod. “I didn’t come here for my hoodie. I wanted to see you, make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m...dealing,” she says slowly, as if trying to find the right words to say.

He waits for her to start and steer the conversation, but when she doesn’t he takes a small step towards her.

“Do you want me to leave?” He asks even though it’s the last thing he wants to do.

She shakes her head, but it doesn’t give him the relief it should. Not when she’s looking at him the way she is, as if she’s about to give him the worst news of his life.

“We should talk. I’m sure you have questions,” she says as she crosses her arms over her chest.

“Maybe, but you know you don’t need to tell me anything you’re not comfortable with, Hailey. I’m not gonna push you,” he tells her.

She does know, but she also knows she has to do this while she still has some nerve left.

“I need to tell you this. I need you to understand.”

He nods and gestures to the couch. “You wanna sit?”

She shakes her head and he shuffles his weight to his other foot as he stuffs his hands into his coat pockets. He can tell she needs a moment. He’s always been able to read her, give her exactly what she needs without saying a word, so he waits until she takes a deep breath and then she speaks.

“I don’t think I ever really learned relationships,” she starts, but her eyes don’t meet his as if she’s somewhere else entirely and not standing there in the same room with him.

“My parents didn’t exactly give me and my brothers the greatest example of what one should look like. My dad - he used us all like his own personal punching bags. And my mom, she took it. She just took it every single time and I never really understood it when I was little. Five year old me couldn’t understand why daddy was hurting mommy. It got to a point where it was just normal, expected. And as I got older, I still didn’t ever fully understand it. I think maybe it just happened so much that it was burned into my mom’s brain that, that’s what love is. That it’s okay if someone hurts you as long as they say they love you and they’re sorry after.

“I’ve had boyfriends and I’ve loved them, or tried to anyway, but relationships haven’t ever been easy for me. It’s like a what-if game constantly playing in my head, like a voice in the back of my mind that I can’t ever silence completely. And it gets loud. It gets so loud sometimes. The second-guessing and the wondering if there’s an ulterior motive for things someone says or does. It’s something I’ve never been able to turn off. It’s something I don’t think I’ll ever be able to turn off. Like it’s burned into my brain too. There are parts of me that are just unfixable. Parts of me that I don’t think will ever fully heal.”

There’s a look on her face that Jay knows all too well and he braces himself for what’s about to come. He watches Hailey lean back against the island and she tightens her arms across her chest almost defensively. He doesn’t say a word though, just gives her a nod telling her to continue and waits for it.

“Being your partner is easy for me, Jay. Being your friend is easy. And I know we didn’t ever label whatever it is that we’ve been doing, but I don’t really know how to be a girlfriend. Especially a girlfriend who works with their boyfriend. I’ve tried it before and I don’t know how to be that person. Maybe it’s because of my parents. Maybe I just don’t really know how to love either and that’s not fair to you. Even with Garrett. I know I loved him, but I just – I didn’t know how to. And in the end he paid the ultimate price for loving me.”

Hailey pauses, takes a breath, and then continues. “I don’t wanna hurt you, Jay. I don’t want you to get hurt. You’ve been so good to me and I like being with you, but I – I don’t...”

She looks away from him as she blows out another breath, unable to finish her sentence, but he does it for her.

“You want it to be over,” he says.

The dejected tone of his voice sends a pang through her chest and she nods her head slowly as she meets his eyes again. There’s a sadness in them she doesn’t think she’s ever seen before.

“I think that might be best for both of us. I shouldn’t have – I thought I could do it. That night in the bar when I told you about the job offer and you kissed me? I wanted that for so long. I wanted you. But I’m beginning to realize that just because you want something it doesn’t mean you should have it. And I would never forgive myself if I hurt you down the road by saying or doing something stupid in the heat of the moment. Not after everything you’ve already been through. You don’t deserve that and you shouldn’t have to live with that possibility or my issues. You shouldn’t want that. So, yeah. I want it to be over for both of our sakes.”

She’s not sure what he’s thinking and it’s the first time in a long time that she can’t read him, but it doesn’t matter. She doesn’t want to do this, wishes it could be different. That she could be different. But it’s not and she’s not, and she’s afraid that if it doesn’t happen now then both of them will just hurt each other later. So she does the hard part for the both of them, ripping it off clean like a Band-Aid, and ignoring the sting it leaves.

She’s not sure how much time passes as she watches him and waits for him to speak. She can tell he’s thinking too hard, digesting what she’s told him, and the longer he’s silent the more she thinks that her decision to end it all right here is the right call, but then he surprises her when he looks up at her with glistening eyes full of love and compassion and understanding. Everything that he is. She’s not sure she deserves it.

Jay shakes his head slowly as he looks at her from a few feet away. He’s kept his distance, not wanting to make her feel cornered or not in control of the conversation and situation, but then he takes a few steps toward. His eyes burn into hers and she feels her heart pounding relentlessly inside her chest.

“You said you don’t know how to love, but I don’t think that’s true. Hailey, if it weren’t for you being my partner, for your friendship, your love for me - platonic or otherwise, I wouldn’t be here right now. I probably wouldn’t be alive right now.”

His voice is low, almost guttural, as if he’s lost his voice and it’s too painful to speak, but he keeps his eyes on her and goes on still.

“Hailey, you’re the person who loved me enough to make me realize I needed therapy. You’re the one who loved me even after knowing about my own past and the demons I have. My PTSD, what happened with Erin, my dad. You showed me every time you’ve stuck by my side and trusted my decisions even when others didn’t. You showed me when you chose to stay here instead of taking that job in New York. No one has ever chosen me over anything like that before. Not even my own brother. You have showed me countless times you love me without ever saying the words. But that word means something different to you because of your family and I get it. I don’t need to hear you say you love me to know that you do.”

He takes slow, hesitant steps towards her until he’s standing in front of her within arm’s reach to still give her, her space. He looks at her with tears still in his eyes, trying to keep them from falling, as he watches her own roll down her cheeks now.

“I’m not going anywhere Hailey. I know things haven’t been easy for you, they haven’t been fair or made sense. Life hasn’t been kind to you, but that doesn’t make me care about you or love you any less than I do, and it doesn’t make you unworthy of receiving that love either. The things you do for the people in your life, complete strangers even. You have the biggest and most beautiful heart of anyone I’ve ever known.

“You deserve this Hailey. We both do. I know you’re scared, I am too, but not because of your past. I’m scared of losing you. We don’t need to define anything or put a label on it if that’s what you wanna do. Girlfriend might be a bit of a weak term for you anyway when you’re so much more than that. We can take it one day at a time, take things as they come, but I want this. I want you. I wanna be with you.”

“Jay, I - “

“If you really want it to be over between us then I’ll respect your decision and I’ll walk out the door and we’ll never talk about it again. All I’m asking for is a chance to show you how it’s supposed to be, that love can be good. That it is good. That it doesn’t come with conditions or ulterior motives. That you deserve every good thing in this world. And I’ll be here to remind you when you think you don’t.”

He can see the wheels turning in her head, but her eyes are everywhere except on him now and he can’t quite read the look on her face, and it scares him.

There’s a fleeting moment where he knows he won’t come back from this, that she was it for him, but he won’t push her. He won’t do that to her. And when she finally meets his eyes again, but doesn’t say a word, he ignores the crushing of his chest and the sinking of his stomach, and takes a step forward to close the distance between them.

He knows what this is now.

Why she mentioned his forgotten hoodie. Why she didn’t wanna sit. Why she’s kept her distance.

She wasn’t intending for him to stay.

He lifts an arm slowly, not wanting to scare her, and rests the palm of his hand against the side of her face. He brushes his thumb over her cheek like he has a dozen times before now, realizing a second later that this might be the last and it sends an ache through him again. He leans forward and presses his lips to her forehead, lingering a few beats longer than he should, but if it’s the last time he kisses her he’s going to savor it. He removes his lips and drops his hand a moment later, and steps away from her.

When she still doesn’t speak all he can do is give a slow nod before he turns for the door. He doesn’t make it three steps before she calls out to him, her voice shaking and his name cracking in half as it falls from her lips. He stops mid-stride and she notices the slight hesitation from him before he turns around to face her, and then she sees that his tears have fallen. Tears for her. For them.

She knows what she is about to do is the hardest thing she’ll ever do and it’s terrifying, but not as terrifying as it would be if she let him walk out her door for good.

“I want that with you. The good kind of love. I want it and it scares the hell out of me,” she breathes out through hiccups and fresh tears.

It’s all he needs and then he’s walking towards her. He wraps his arms around her, holding her close and tight against him with one arm around her back and his other hand holding her head to his chest.

Her whole body shakes and she can’t stop crying now as she leans into him. And then she whispers, “I do love you and I want you to stay.”

He squeezes his arms around her in their embrace and presses his lips to the side of her head.

“I’ll stay,” he tells her, knowing it’s the only thing she needs to hear from him.

Her eyes close at the sound of his words and her entire body goes limp in his arms. It’s the first moment since the mess of their day on the job that she finally feels herself fully relax and be at ease. She grips his shoulder with a trembling hand, the rest of her body still shaking, but he continues to hold her up and hold her against him like the anchor he’s always been for her.

She knows he means staying more than just tonight and there’s a moment, maybe for the first time in her life, where the future doesn’t worry her or scare her. Not when it includes him, them.

#upstead #upstead fic #hailey upton #jay halstead #jay x hailey #chicago pd

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couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name · 5 years ago

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Ya know, I truly hope Miss Renesmee Carlie Cullen fully dedicates herself to just....being as out there and iconic as possible

first things first- ANYTHING with the loch ness monster on it, she owns. Posters, shirts, jackets, shoes, folders, buttons, iron-ons, there is always at least 5 pieces of Nessie merch on her at all times

once she gets old enough to start high school, the cover story is her and Edward are siblings that Carlisle and Esme took in, and sometimes her classmates will ask her what her biological parents were like and she will flat out be like 'oh, they're vampires' and Edward and Bella are like. 5 feet away trying not to scream

every Halloween she'll show up to school in an elaborate Nosferatu costume

goes out of her way to photobomb people in increasingly ridiculous ways so there will Always be a photographic record of her and in like 100 years she can get a huge kick out of teens on the internet trying to make a conspiracy about her

joins as many school clubs as she can, even if she has no interest in them- she just Really wants a concrete record of herself to exist lmao

ICONIC at school theater though. One of those demon theater kids that come to rehearsal purely to cause chaos and nothing else, but her voice is incredible so she secures every lead. One time she somehow managed to star in a show while also playing in the school band for it- her classmates still have no idea how she pulled it off

Always brings blood out in public in a CLEAR THERMOS and it stresses her family out so much but everyone else thinks she's just like, weirdly into tomato juice so the Cullens can't stop her

to everyone's surprise...her biggest chaos enabler is Jasper lmao. everyone thought he'd be a logical, responsible uncle but they're just. A Problem together. He'll 100% assist her in any prank she wants to pull, he gets her fake id's when she wants to sneak into a club with friends, he bails her out of jail without telling her parents, they figured out if she gets high and he reads her feelings he'll get high too and it's. So fucking funny.

she's always carrying some random instrument around school- like for a while it's a guitar or a harmonica, fine, but then she'll start lugging a cello around, a tuba (she doesn't even play, she stole it off a guy who was annoying her) and it escalates until one day she's wheeling a piano around the building. no one's even sure how she got in in the doors of the school. She keeps running kids over in the hallway with it

You know the Catherine Tate Lauren Cooper skit with David Tennant? Where she's being a terrible student and then perfectly recites Shakespeare? 100% Nessie

when she starts getting dates Jacob keeps trying to wing man and be over supportive and give her a ton of girl advice and it's embarrassing as hell so one day when he was on a spiel about How To Woo A Lady she looks him in the eyes and goes 'oh really? did that work on my mom?' and the Cullens fucking LOSE IT. Jacob had to go live in the woods for a few days because he couldn't cope

Emmet and Jasper: arrive to school in their jeep. Rose and Alice: arrive in a convertible. Edward: arrives in his dumb volvo. Bella and Jake: arrive to school on motorcycles. Nessie: arrives to school on a unicycle while juggling

one year she ended up getting nominated for prom queen and Edward read the minds of the teachers tallying the votes so he knew she won and he and Bella were so excited!! they're like we're gonna take so many pictures of our baby looking like a princess! And then she emerges from her room, actually drenched in pigs blood. Like she just did it to herself and went to the dance and accepted her crown like that

she regularly commits crimes against fashion. If she comes out of her room and sees Alice contemplating turning herself over to the Volturi, she KNOWS she's picked a great look

somehow gets ahold of Aro's cell number and sends him selfies of her blatantly breaking vampire laws captioned 'whatcha gonna do'. he keeps blocking her but she keeps managing to get through to him somehow

she illegally sells soda out of her locker and does people's homework for cash, while also paying other people to do her homework for her. she organizes every single senior prank. she's never gotten a detention in her whole immortal life because every teacher just Adores her for some reason

had 100% used her powers for deserved evil before. Like, if someone's being a dick at school, she'll sneak into their room at night and give them nightmarea threatening them to be a better person lol

sometimes she'll show up at the hospital unannounced and ask Carlisle, in front of his coworkers, 'yo can I raid the blood bank?'

her bedroom looks like a library. every wall, floor to ceiling books.

she's been publishing trashy romance novels under a fake name for almost 40 years now and no one in her family knows

one birthday Jacob takes her on a trip to vegas and they get wasted, at some point they were laughing about how ridiculous their lives are and they're like 'wouldn't it be fucking hilarious if we had a baby'. they then black out, hangover style, and wake up like a week later with a payment on her card to a fertility clinic. Jacob's like 😱 and Ness is just like 'you get to be the one to explain this to my parents'

Their kid is absolutely hilarious, they were correct, and at some point they realized 'wait...drinks blood..doesn't sparkle...can shape shift...we've somehow created a classic pop culture vampire' lmao

Edward had to threaten them to get them to not name the kid Vladimir

Also to be clear: Nessie and Jacob have the EXACT same dynamic as Will and Grace. that's canon.

says its her goal to star in a live action all female production of mamma mia and Carlisle is like 'honey you know you can't do anything on broadway or in hollywood' and she's like, 'no, in real life. I'm gonna go to greece and attract a bunch of women with abba songs' and he's like,,,,,ah

she loves all music but she goes out of her way to Only play stuff she knows Edward hates lmao

one day she remembers she doesn't need to breathe and can see under water and just. books herself a ticket to scotland and Finds The Loch Ness Monster

she actually personally finds a lot of monsters and cryptids like her hybrid aura just attracts all kind of weird shit and she LOVES it. She stops writing trashy romance novels and starts writing autobiographies of her traveling and hanging out with paranormal beings and everyone just assumes its fiction so she becomes a best selling fantasy author lmao

100% she's very into witchy stuff and only like...half in a trendy way. She's like what if on top of everything I've got going on I can cast spells? Think I deserve that power

when she's a couple decades old she catches Edward looking grossed out one day and she asks him what's up and he's like 'I really dont need to hear what creepy teachers think about my daughter' and she's like. oh. Dad we are gonna get SO MANY pedophiles arrested shdndjdn she gets him to expose teachers and she baits them then calls the police. queen.

She finds out she can get tattoos but they fade completely out of her skin within 5 years so she's always getting crazy tats

posts selfies on social media of her just like. hanging out with mountain lions or chilling on top of the space needle. her classmates think they're all photoshopped obvi but it drives her family insane

imagine you're 15 and you're on a nice hike in the woods and you come across your one classmate half naked, sacrificing a bear in some ritual, blood dripping down her face, bigfoot chilling on the rocks behind her filming the ritual on her phone...like on one hand, what would you do, but on the other hand. you've known this girl for a bit and you aren't surprised at all

anyway. stan Nessie Cullen.

#twilight saga #renesmee cullen #nessie cullen #breaking dawn #twilight #molly mumbles

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spine-buster · 4 years ago

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peaceful easy feeling ft. b.boeser | five

A/N: This is the last part of this mini series! I know this adventure was short but thank you all for coming along on the ride :) A quick reminder that I will be announcing my new fic, who it will feature, a small blurb, & a clue as to what to expect from it this Thursday at 7:30pm EST. Happy reading!

CONTENT WARNING: parents with disease/sickness (Parkinson’s); parent death; swearing; sex; alcohol use; lots of emotions.

* * * * *

“You look beautiful, baby,” Brock cooed as he adjusted his cufflinks – well, not really. He was looking at Grace, not really caring about his cufflinks. Seeing her stand there in her beautiful dress, her hair curled and pinned, and her delicate jewelry hanging off her ears, neck, and wrists…she was a vision. He was so lucky.

They were about to leave to attend the Parkinson’s Foundation of British Columbia Gala. Grace had planned virtually the whole thing, though she worked with the head of the foundation on most major decisions. She arranged the venue, catering, got major sponsors (okay…the biggest were her uncles, but there were a lot more), organized the silent auction, and arranged the entertainment for the evening. Everyone who attended their weekly meetings would be there. Brock knew the Aquilinis would be there. It was a party, yes, and a function to raise money, yes – but at the end of the day, it was a culmination of Grace’s strength after Hamish passed away.

“Thanks, babe,” she smiled over at him, taking one last look at herself in the mirror. “Are Petey and Svea ready to go?”

Brock nodded. “Petey’s been texting for fifteen minutes asking if we’re on our way yet,” he joked.

“You can blame it on me,” she winked. “Unless Petey takes a good look at your hair. Then he’ll know it was you.”

Brock laughed out loud, taking the few steps needed to stand right in front of her and wrap his arms around her. “Hey…before we go,” his voice was low and he looked down at Grace. “Your dad would be so proud of you for planning this.”

Grace nodded her head. She knew. It was a lot of work, and she completely went in head first with planning all of it and maybe, sort of taking over the entire operation, but it was worth it. She had planned something that would raise money that, hopefully, would fund research so that nobody would have to go through what she went through. She didn’t just want to be known as an heiress daughter of a billionaire; she wanted to be known as so much more. An heiress who used her money to fund research projects and arts centres; an heiress who donated her time and money to worthy causes. She once told Brock that she knew she wasn’t the smartest girl in the world, but that she thought she had a big heart. She hoped this was the start of others in her community, and in Vancouver, realizing that she had a big heart.

***

“Grace, this is amazing,” Svea couldn’t help but say astonishingly as she took yet another look around the giant room, decorated to the nines with flashing lights and impeccably dressed people chatting and drinking and dancing. Svea knew Grace would be busy throughout the night, so she wasn’t trying to hog her after their limousine ride together. But now that Svea got her alone, she had to verbalize it again, just like she did when she walked in. “Like, I don’t think you understand. It’s incredible.”

“Want to let me plan your wedding to Elias?” Grace winked, taking a sip of her drink.

“Oh shut up.”

“There she is!” the women both heart Elias yell. They turned around and saw him and Brock walking towards them, both with drinks in their hands. “Grace, this is so cool.”

“Thanks Petey. And thanks for donating your jersey.”

“Anything for you.”

Grace focused her attention on Brock. “Esther wants us to take a group photo with everyone before everyone leaves,” she said, and Brock nodded his head in agreement. She looked at Elias. “If I get everyone together right now, do you mind taking it?”

“Like I just said Grace, anything for you.”

***

Fatigued, physically and mentally exhausted, but still somehow feeling the adrenaline coursing through her veins, Grace climbed into the limousine with Brock, Elias, and Svea at the end of the gala so they could go home. They dropped off Elias and Svea first, naturally, and Elias had to wake Svea up as she slept on his shoulder throughout the ride. It left Brock and Grace alone in the limousine together, hands clasped together as the driver drove through the streets of Vancouver.

“You did amazing tonight,” Brock mumbled, his voice low and full of sleepiness but still so direct and meaningful. “I love you so much, Grace.”

“I love you too, Brock.”

“When we have kids, I’m gonna let them know this was the night I knew you’d become my wife.”

Grace stiffened at Brock’s words, but he was too tired to notice – the small smirk on his face not disappearing despite anxiety – not adrenaline – now coursing through Grace’s veins. She thought about the implications of his words, how he just outright admitted that she was the one for him. She thought about her feelings for him, and if she felt the same. She did. But was it possible to still be apprehensive? She loved Brock with her whole heart. She’d never met anybody like him, and likely would never meet anyone like him again. She loved him too, with everything she had.

But then she thought about her parents.

Her parents were young and in love once too. Her parents were once obsessed with each other and madly in love. Her parents had decided to get married and have a child. Her parents had decided what Brock was laying out on the proverbial table – what Brock was so willing to give her – and look what happened. Things didn’t work out. Love didn’t work out. Love was complicated. They separated. Grace went to live with Eliza but didn’t like it because she missed dad. She told Hamish who told his lawyers. His lawyers brought it to the judge. Divorce proceedings started. Grace went to live with Hamish. Eliza demanded alimony for her lifestyle, to maintain it, if not to exceed it. Eliza demanded child support. Eliza demanded nannies, a multi-million dollar house, and expensive cars. Hamish would tell Grace her mother was selfish. Eliza would tell Grace how stingy her father was. Eliza would tell Grace how her father only wanted custody so he didn’t have to pay child support. Hamish told Grace Eliza only wanted child support and alimony so she could hire babysitters and nannies while she went to spas. A pawn while she was at her mom’s in Shaughnessy; a pawn while she was at her dad’s in West Point Grey. A pawn when dropped off at school at Crofton House. A pawn at the dance studio, her happiest place.

What if she and Brock turned out the same way?

***

“You okay?” Brock asked Grace.

Grace wasn’t there. She was somewhere else, in her mind, thinking about events long passed. “Your father’s the cheapest man I’ve ever met,” she could hear her mom say in the kitchen as she waited for her cereal before school at seven years old. “Cheap cheap cheap cheap cheap! He’s always been so much work to be with, your father. He refuses to get you a Range Rover – did you know that? Your dad wants you driven around in some…in some…I don’t know, some Toyota.”

“Yeah, sorry,” Grace said absent-mindedly, giving her pasta a few more twirls to make it seem like she’d eat it. “Will I still be able to go to dance?”

“Who knows?! Your father may even take that away from you too! It scares me, the things he’s taking away from you.”

“But I love dance.”

“Well then maybe you should stay with me. Daddy will pay me to take you to dance.”

***

“Your mother is a piece of work, let me tell you,” Hamish mumbled as he slapped his cellphone down on the counter. “She was always so much work to be with. Always so much work. Now she wants $60,000 a month in alimony. Alimony!”

“What’s alimony?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Hamish said. “Have your teachers taught you yet what it means to be selfish?” he asked. Grace nodded her head. “Well your mother is selfish. One of the most selfish people in the world.”

“Grace? You coming to bed?” Brock’s voice was groggy as he stood in the doorway of the ensuite, his usually well-kept hair everywhere, his eyes sleepy.

“Yeah…yeah, sorry,” Grace apologized, getting up from her seated position on the toilet lid. “Sorry baby.”

“You okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah I’m fine,” she said, grabbing Brock’s hand and leading him back to bed.

“You’d tell me if it wasn’t right?” he asked softly as she cuddled up against him in bed.

“Of course,” she said, a nervous lump in her throat. “Of course.”

***

“Gracie…please tell me what’s wrong,” Brock said in a low voice as he tried to wrap his arms around her, only for her to flinch slightly and back away. That hurt him more than anything.

“Nothing’s wrong,” she said unconvincingly.

“Yes it is—”

“Can we just drop it,” she said, taking a sip of her coffee. “We’re supposed to be on a date.”

***

“What’s the matter with you?” Elias asked, sick of seeing Brock so gloomy and moody the past several weeks. He’d noticed a change in him, and though Brock was usually very open about what he was feeling with him, he wasn’t this time, and Elias was…skeptical. Well, not skeptical – worried. This time, Brock had a girlfriend and was moody, and Elias didn’t know what to expect. “What’s going on?”

“Something’s wrong with Grace,” Brock revealed to Elias.

“What’s wrong?”

Brock shook his head. “She won’t tell me. But she…she zones out a lot, like she’s thinking about something…and it’s so intense that she doesn’t even hear me calling her.”

“What’s she thinking about?”

Brock shrugged. “She doesn’t tell me. She’ll never tell me.”

“Well when did it start?”

Brock thought about it. He really thought about it. He liked to think he was in tune with changes in Grace. “The gala.”

“The Parkinson’s Gala?” Elias clarified. Brock nodded his head. “Well, could it be about her dad?”

“It’s something more,” Brock was adamant. He knew she would be sad and would never be the same after her dad died. That was a given. No-one was ever the same after the death of a parent, so he didn’t blame her for that. “It’s…it’s something more.”

***

“Is everything okay with you?” Svea asked delicately as she and Grace were shopping at Holt Renfrew. Well – Grace was shopping at Holt Renfrew. Svea was basically just following her around, because it wasn’t like she could afford anything.

“I’m fine,” Grace said unconvincingly.

“Are you sure? Because you know you can talk to me if things aren’t okay.”

Grace took a deep breath in, trying to compose herself. Knowing what she knew about Svea’s parents and their love story, she doubted that Svea would be able to provide any…critical insight, so to speak. But Grace tried anyway. “How d’you know a guy is your soulmate, Svea?” she asked.

Svea was taken aback. It was quite the loaded question to lead with. “I’d say it’s when you can picture the rest of your life with them. At least that’s one aspect to it.”

“Can you picture the rest of your life with Elias?”

“Yes,” Svea answered automatically, because she could. It was as friends, sure, but she still pictured the rest of her life with him. “Can you picture the rest of your life with Brock?”

Grace paused. Her response wasn’t as quick or forthcoming. “Yes.”

“But?”

“But what?”

“There was a pause there,” Svea said. “But what?”

��But what if, like, things change?” Grace asked. “What if the love doesn’t last? What if it breaks down?”

“You mean like your parents?”

Grace didn’t want to glare at Svea – she really didn’t, because Svea was one of the sweetest people alive – but she did. She glared at her. “No,” she said forcefully, trying to cover.

“Love always lasts. True love always lasts. Look at Elias and I – I mean, we’ve loved each other our whole lives—”

“You and Elias won’t even hold hands or kiss each other,” Grace said angrily, unable to control her emotions at this point. “You won’t even admit you love him romantically. How the hell is that love?”

Svea just stared at Grace, unable to formulate words. Tears welled in her eyes too, and when Grace saw them get red, she hated herself even more. She hated herself already for making Brock worry, for not telling him the truth, for hiding things from him; now, she hated herself even more for making Svea emotional. “I’ve gotta go,” she said, leaving quickly, unable to look back at Svea as she left her in the middle of Holt Renfrew alone.

***

“If you don’t tell me what’s wrong right now or I’m leaving,” Brock said sternly, his voice raised. Both of their voices had been for the last while now, since they were fighting. He looked at Grace as she stared back at him indignantly from across the kitchen. “We can’t have a relationship if we don’t communicate – if you don’t tell me what’s been bothering you.”

“There’s nothing wrong.”

“Is it something I did? Did I say something?”

“It’s not you.”

“Then what is it?”

“There’s nothing wr—”

“Tell me what’s wrong!”

Grace stayed silent. She could feel herself going red. She could feel the emotions in her bubble up. She knew she wouldn’t be able to hold it in much longer. “Leave.”

Brock furrowed his brows. “Excuse me?”

“Leave my apartment now.”

Brock stood stoic in spot. “You don’t mean that—”

“LEAVE!” Grace screamed at the top of her lungs, taking every ounce of strength left in her to not cry.

They were in a standoff. Brock stood stoic. Grace stood stoic. Staring at each other, waiting for the other to move. Neither did for a while, waiting it out to see who would crack first. She didn’t mean it, Brock kept thinking. She doesn’t mean it. She doesn’t mean it. But with every second that passed, with every heave of Grace’s chest, with every moment of silence signaling her refusal to budge…

Brock cracked.

He picked up his keys, gave Grace one last look, and walked out the door.

***

It was a few agonizing, excruciating, unbearably lonely few weeks later when Brock received a phone call in the middle of the night. 2:38am. His phone’s ring blaring throughout his empty apartment.

“Hello?” his voice was groggy, tired, exhausted.

Silence.

“Hello?” he asked once more, louder this time. If it was any one of his teammates he’d knock them dead the next time he saw them – Petey especially.

The voice was small and defeated when it finally did speak, asking Brock the question, “What if we end up like my parents?”

Brock was wide awake now. He got up in bed dramatically, holding his phone against his ear so tightly that he could hear the charger fall out of the electrical socket. “Gracie,” the shock was evident in his voice.

“Will you come over?” she asked.

Brock threw the covers off his body dramatically. “I’m on my way right now,” he said. He’d drive his car in his slippers if he needed to.

“Be careful.”

“I’m coming. I’ll be there soon.”

***

“C’mere,” Brock said the millisecond Grace let him in, wrapping his arms around her and engulfing her into a hug as she clung to him like he’d float away and wrapped every limb she had around him. He’d made it to her apartment in record time, speeding through the streets of Vancouver to get to her. It was probably dangerous, but it wasn’t like there were other cars on the road at 2:45 in the morning. “Talk to me Gracie. Talk to me,” he urged as he felt her tears against his skin.

“I’m so sorry,” she mumbled into the crook of his neck. “I’m so—Brock, I was so bad. So bad.”

“Shhhhh shhhh shhhh, don’t,” Brock cooed. “Just tell me what’s wrong. What’s going on in your head, Grace?”

“Brock…” she began, swallowing her tears before continuing. She pulled away slightly so she could look him in the eye, wiping her own red ones with the palms of her hands. She knew she looked awful, but she also knew Brock didn’t give a shit. “I just miss him so much.”

“Your dad.”

Grace nodded quickly. “Every part of me misses him. But then I started to think about how awful he and my mom were during the divorce,” she explained. And to Brock, that said everything. Grace told him about it ever since they met – the general, the specific, the nitty-gritty details – and it was awful. To have that whirling around in her mind would have definitely affected her. It all made sense to him now. It all made sense, knowing she never wanted to go back to that. “And I got scared…I got so scared. I just kept remembering how bad it was. So on the night of the gala when you said—”

“So it was something that I said—”

“Nonononononono,” she vehemently shook her head, bringing her finger up to his lips to silence him. “No no no no no. I—Brock—I love you with every part of me too. But…but what if we end up like my parents? What if we fall out of love? What if it—what if it ends badly? What if we ended up hating each other? They’d always say things like it was so hard to be with one another and—”

“Is it hard to be with me?” Brock asked, not wanting her to go any further and knowing that at this point, he needed to intervene.

“NO! Never!” she exclaimed. She never wanted Brock to think that ever. She cradled his face in her hands. “Being with you feels natural. It feels like it was always supposed to be this way. It’s so easy. It’s so peaceful.”

“Then that’s how it’ll always be, a peaceful easy feeling,” Brock whispered. “What’s there to be scared about, baby?”

Grace shook her head, tearing up again. “Nothing when I’m with you.”

“We won’t end up like your parents because we’re not your parents,” he said. His words were so simple but they hit Grace like a ton of bricks. “We’re different people. I love you more than anything, and the thought of hating you—Grace—I—it’s never, never crossed my mind. I never could. You give me everything. Do I give you everything?”

She nodded. “Everything.”

“Then I’m gonna keep giving you everything. And I’ll do it till the end of time, Gracie. Because I love you. I can’t picture myself with anyone else. I can’t…I can’t picture going through pain with anyone else besides you.”

Brock’s words were loaded – she knew that. “I can’t picture going through pain with anyone else besides you.” Grace nodded. The sentiment was so serious, but so right. When she really thought about it, would she have wanted to experience this pain with anyone else besides Brock? No. He meant the world to her. And that’s how it was always going to be. “I’m so dumb,” she shook her head at herself.

“You’re not dumb. For what you went through, it’s a legitimate worry,” he reassured her. “But I promise you, I promise you, I’ll love you with everything I have and you’ll love me with everything you have, and we won’t end up like your parents.”

Grace was overcome with emotion. “I love you so much, Brock.”

“I love you too,” he leaned in to kiss her, once, twice, then again and again. When they stopped, he wrapped his arms around her body and lay down on her couch, bringing her body down with him. He wiggled out of his hoodie. Then he pushed her body down slightly, and that’s when Grace knew exactly what he was doing. She lay her head on his bare chest, listening to his heartbeat.

“Can you feel it?” he asked softly.

Grace nodded.

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sisterspooky1013 · 3 years ago

Text

Only One Choice, Part 2, Chapter 16

Read it here on AO3 / Tagging @today-in-fic

May passes into June and they quietly acknowledge that it has been one year since the day Mulder walked into the autopsy bay. They spend their weekends watching movies, making love, and hanging out with the Gunmen, Missy often in attendance as she and Byers become somewhat of an item. Every other Sunday they have lunch with her mother, Mulder meeting Bill by way of an awkward phone call and a promise that they will come out to visit San Diego sometime soon. The moratorium on weekday overnights fades away and the days they spend in each other’s beds begin to outnumber those that they don’t.

One day in early August, Mulder laments how lonely Priscilla gets when he’s gone for the night, crying and following him from room to room when he comes home and plaguing him with guilt. Scully suggests that he bring her over with him, setting up a litter box and food bowl in an unused corner of the living room. Without the daily need to care for a cat, he spends more and more time at her apartment, his suits taking over half her closet and his T-shirts occupying one of her drawers. He still has his fish to feed and so they can tell themselves that they don’t technically live together, though it’s been weeks since anyone slept at his apartment. The excitement of new love gives way to the familiar comfort of domesticity, questions about their lives prior to meeting morphing into what they’re having for dinner and whether someone can pick up toilet paper on the way home from work. They each visit the doctor for a full workup and, everything coming back clear, stop using condoms, relying on the progestin shot Scully goes in for every three months to prevent pregnancy.

Far from boring, they find worthy sparring partners in one another, debating everything from whether the moon landing was a hoax to the merits of String Theory, arguing their points of view passionately before they agree to disagree and then let their clothes fall to the floor. They discover the things they love best about one another; Mulder’s unrelenting curiosity and Scully’s bottomless compassion, as well as those they like the least; his forgetfulness when he’s focused on something and her tendency to shut him out when she’s upset. Whether completing a crossword puzzle together or watching Jeopardy, they embrace the ways that they are different and how they balance one another out; his creativity to her order, her planning to his impulsivity, his acceptance to her skepticism. Yin and yang, tall and small, bold and tempered; there is a completeness in their union that makes them each feel whole.

Even in their intensity and their commitment, Mulder has never again uttered the words ‘I love you’ and Scully has never said them at all. Far from a red flag or a hesitance to be vulnerable, they simply don’t feel the need to express it aloud. She knows he loves her when he drives forty minutes out of his way to pick up her favorite donuts or reads the latest issue of JAMA just so he can discuss the articles with her. He knows she loves him when she indulges him in theoretical discussions on the mating rituals of Sasquatch, not bothering to point out that the creature doesn’t exist, or wastes entire Saturdays watching movies that were bad enough to earn Razzies because he finds poorly made films entertaining.

Scully has never met Mulder’s parents, accepting his explanation that his mother is cold and his father distant, which is why she feels caught off guard when he calls her at work on a Tuesday to tell her that his mother had a stroke, and he is on his way to the hospital. He doesn’t ask her for anything, but she leaves work anyway, approaching the reception desk of the emergency department with a level of calm only a doctor is capable of.

“I’m looking for Teena Mulder, she should have been admitted within the last few hours,” she says to the young woman behind the desk.

“Yes, she’s here,” the woman answers, “but visiting hours don’t start until 4:00 and someone is already with her now. Are you family?” The woman looks at her expectantly.

“Um, no, I’m not,” she replies, not bothering to explain that Tenna Mulder is her boyfriend’s mother, who she’s never met.

“You can take a seat then,” the woman says with a well-practiced smile that doesn’t reach her eyes.

She finds an empty seat and pulls in a deep breath, taking out her cell phone in hopes she can reach Mulder, though cell reception in hospitals is notoriously bad.

“Excuse me, are you Dana?” someone says from a few seats away, and she turns to see an older man, perhaps in his sixties, with receding dark brown hair and tired bags under his eyes.

“Yes,” she replies, eyeing him skeptically as he rises from his seat and takes the one just beside her.

“I’m Bill Mulder, Fox’s father,” he says, offering his hand.

She takes it, scanning him for similarities to Mulder and finding none, other than his complexion and hair color.

“Oh, hello, it’s nice to meet you Mr. Mulder,” she stumbles, a bit confused. As Mulder tells it, his parents are divorced and not on friendly terms.

“Please, you can call me Bill,” he says with a small smile, and she nods. “Fox is with her now, though I don’t think she’s awake,” he offers.

They sit in awkward silence, Scully realizing she has absolutely no information with which to start a conversation. Mulder has told her nothing about his parents, aside from the details relevant to his sister’s abduction. She doesn’t know what Bill Mulder does, or did, for a living, or where he lives. Just when she’s considering going home, Mulder emerges from a set of double doors.

He was clearly looking for his father, but when he sees Scully his eyebrows knit and his chin puckers in relief. She stands and he scoops her up, squeezing her so tight it hurts.

“Thank you for coming,” he whispers hoarsely into her ear.

They part, hands clasped, and he addresses his father.

“Mom just woke up, you can go see her soon, but since Scully is here I’d like to take her back first.”

Scully gives him an incredulous look.

“Mulder, I’m sure your mom doesn’t want to meet me for the first time from a hospital bed,” she pleads.

“I know, but I want you to look at her chart. I just want to make sure that what the doctors are saying is accurate,” he says with desperate eyes, and she nods.

He leads her back through the double doors and into a room where a tall white-haired woman is reclining in the bed, an oxygen cannula tucked under her nose. While she saw little resemblance between Mulder and his father, the likeness to his mother is almost jarring; her stately nose and hooded eyes curating in Scully an immediate fondness for her. She blinks slowly at them, confusion furrowing her brow.

“Mom, this is Dana,” he says, and her expression shifts into one that is slightly pained.

She attempts to speak, one side of her mouth rooting for words that she can’t quite find.

“Hi Mrs. Mulder, I’m sorry we’re meeting under these circumstances,” Scully offers, “I’m a medical doctor, Fox asked me to take a look at your chart, if that’s okay?”

Teena nods and closes her eyes, and Scully goes to retrieve her chart from near the door. After she’s looked it over, they say goodbye and return to the lobby to find Mulder’s father.

“Go ahead, Dad, I’ll see you in there,” Mulder says, and then walks Scully to her car.

“So, what do you think?” he asks as they stand next to her open car door, worry crumpling his features.

“I don’t see anything out of the ordinary, Mulder. Her stroke was significant, you can see that by the degree to which it’s impacting her speech and gross motor function. It shouldn't get any worse, but she’ll need to go through rehab, and likely need some in-home care for a bit until we know the long term impact. It’s very possible that she’ll be able to continue living independently, but not right away.”

Mulder heaves a big sigh and nods. “I’m gonna stay here for a bit, but I think I’ll be home before you go to bed.”

“Of course, whatever you need,” she replies, bringing her palm to his cheek. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I think so. Thank you, again, for coming down here. You didn’t have to.”

“Mulder, of course I did,” she says with concern. “I’ll see you when you get home, okay?”

He kisses her one, two, three times, pulling her close for a beat, clinging to her for dear life.

“I love you,” he chokes out, and she hugs him tighter.

“I love you too,” she replies, her chin tucked tight into the crook of his neck.

When he releases his grip on her, she brings her hands to his jaw, brushing her thumbs over his cheeks.

“We’ll get through this, okay? We’ll figure it out,” she assures him, and he nods tersely.

———

She’s in bed reading, Priscilla curled up on her stomach, when she hears the thunk of the deadbolt.

“Mulder?” she calls out, and he pokes his head through the door.

“I’m gonna take a quick shower, I’ll be in in a minute,” he says, then disappears again.

He returns ten minutes later, shower-fresh and warm. She sets her book aside to envelop him in her arms, his head finding a home on her chest as his arms snake around her ribcage.

“How is she?” she asks as she strokes her fingers through his hair and down his neck soothingly.

“The same,” he says with a defeated tone, “they might release her to rehab tomorrow.”

“And how are you?” she asks, giving his neck a little squeeze.

He groans. “I don’t know. I’ve been thinking a lot.”

“About your mom?”

“No,” he says, propping up on his elbow to look at her, “about life, I guess.”

She lifts her eyebrows expectantly, waiting for him to continue.

“I don’t want to toil away in the BSU for the rest of my life, Scully. If I die tomorrow, what will I have to show for it?”

She frowns at him sympathetically.

“You make a difference in the BSU, Mulder. You help catch murderers, prevent further loss of life. It may not seem like it because you’re so far removed from the people it impacts, but you do.”

He flops back onto the bed, eyes on the ceiling.

“You’re probably right, but it still feels pretty pointless.”

“What would you rather be doing?” she asks gently, rolling on to her side to face him.

“Honestly?” he steals a glance at her before continuing, “investigating The X Files. Making progress in understanding what happened to my sister. Working to expose those who are responsible for the coverup of secret government operations.”

“Maybe you should talk to AD Skinner, try again. Maybe The X files could be reopened,” she says softly, brushing her palm over his arm.

Mulder shakes his head. “Nothing has changed, Scully. They won’t let me operate without a partner and no one wants to work with me.”

“I’d work with you, but that’s against bureau policy,” she says with a small smile, and he looks at her with an affectionate gaze.

“I’m sure you’d have a field day debunking all my work,” he says coyly.

“I would never,” she retorts sarcastically.

He rolls back towards her, pulling her close with her head tucked under his chin.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you,” he says, his voice full of emotion.

“Well you do have me, so there’s no point in thinking about it,” she replies.

He sighs deeply, reaching past her to turn off the bedside lamp, and they sleep.

#the x files #txf #dana scully #fox mulder #gillovny #msr #sculder #x files fanfic #alternate universe

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clarythericebot · 4 years ago

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potential internal conflicts/character arcs for nhie s2

(based on the table read, news, and things that i personally just want to see :P)

- Devi learning to see others as ends of themselves instead of means to an end. No-brainer that this is going to be a theme next season (especially with that pros and cons list of her love interest), but I’m so excited to see how the show’s going to handle it. As I rambled about on this post, one of Devi’s biggest developments as a character was to stop treating Ben as an extension of herself (either as boxing him into the role of Antagonist/Nemesis in her own narrative or as a hateful mirror that points out personal traits she dislikes) and as an actual person and friend, and it’s that which sparks the small epiphany of her feelings towards him. From the table read and the stills, though, it sounds like she might be putting him in a new, albeit prettier box: Love Interest. The same box that she puts in Paxton, who at this point also does have genuine feelings for Devi. She’s looking at them as experiences, not people, and it’s all going to inevitably blow up in her face.

- The Devi/Fabiola/Eleanor friendship changing somehow. I had this impression that all season 1, the three of them have been hanging on to a dynamic that just doesn’t work anymore, in light of Devi’s grief, Eleanor’s abandonment, and Fabiola’s identity conflict. While Devi is definitely in the wrong of blatantly choosing a guy’s inconvenience over her best friend’s weightier problems, I think the larger problem here is that they don’t seem to know how to be there for each other for difficulties larger than to do with school, although the care and concern is there. It actually takes a third party to push them towards solving the overarching issues in their friendship, and even then only briefly. I’d really like to see this explored as a conflict shared between the three of them, instead of it being sidelined completely as Devi being selfish.

- The narrative that Devi will tell Princeton + the parts of herself she’s willing to take to college. (These are technically two conflicts, but I feel like it would make sense to intertwine them, especially since they’ve already been intertwined in the Ganesh Puja episode.) Devi has expressed her intention about leaving her Indian-ness completely and utterly behind her, as well as all the other embarrassing and painful parts of her identity (her grief and her insecurities). She’s come to terms with her father’s death to an extent, but she doesn’t seem to have yet accepted how his death has shaped and marked her. I think this is going to extend with how she deals with her Indian identity, and perhaps how she deals with her relationships.

- The double-standard between Kamala and Devi. On one level I understand Nalini probably treats them different because of her differing relationships with them—one’s her niece that only came to live with them and the other is her only child, her whole family. On the other hand, from the narration Devi has never really experienced her mother expressing such a blatant double standard in favor of Kamala before (about her secret boyfriend); she fully believed her cousin would get into trouble. It never did get addressed.

- In the first season, we experienced how Kamala’s western ideals influenced the part of her life still infused with tradition (her relations to other Indian people and her arranged marriage). The still of Kamala in a labcoat makes me hopeful for the inverse this season: how Kamala’s arranged marriage and traditional ideals affect her career as a scientist.

- Paxton engaging in the fact that he likes someone who is smarter than him (at least in a bookish sense). I’ve never seen this conflict delved into before—most writers just ignore it, focusing on what the love interests have in common (and don’t get me wrong, I’m looking forward to Paxton engaging Devi in this way, either by trying new things or revealing some hobbies or interests we haven’t made privy to). This insecurity is so close to his chest, though, and as much as Devi seems to make a point not to make him feel bad about it, it would be fascinating friction since Devi is very rightfully proud of her intellectual prowess. I imagine this will only be accentuated with knowing that his competition for Devi’s affections is someone razor-edge smart.

- Ben’s anger, and it being dealt with in constructive and destructive ways. I think one of the (numerous) things that I love about Ben and Devi is that they have different approaches to their internal and external conflicts. Devi runs away internally, refusing to face grief and sadness, while she delves head-first into external situations (e.g. asking Paxton to have sex with her, going to a Model UN trip with absolutely no prep and being willing to steal alcohol, talking to her friend’s estranged mom in other to get back into said friend’s good graces). Ben, on the other hand, has remarkable emotional intelligence underneath his high school immaturity (he can read Devi beyond her words actions, he doesn’t deny the isolation and loneliness that he feels, he is prepared to be vulnerable in certain situations) but he doesn’t do anything about it (he stops himself from telling his parents how abandoned he feels, he gives in to his girlfriend essentially using him as a prop, he is ushered into dining in his nemesis’ house by her concerned mother). Then Devi kisses him, and suddenly he’s willing to put his eggs in one basket. He stands up to his parents and demands that they spend family dinner together—because of her, he claims. He breaks up with his girlfriend, finally admitting that what they had wasn’t real, and earnestly informing Devi that he thinks what they have is. “I’m all in,” he tells her, thus crushing my heart. Because what’s strongly being implied, at least by the first part of the first episode, is that Devi’s either going to choose Paxton or neither of them. I imagine that Ben, used to being abandoned time and time again, will not react well to that. (This is expanded in this really awesome meta by @catty-words). There’s potential for the show to frame this as sexist entitlement, but I’d like to hope that the creators will be more compassionate to Ben’s conflict, as they have been in the past. It would genuinely be hurtful for someone you’ve displayed a lot of vulnerability to suddenly turn tail and say it didn’t mean as much to her. My guess is that he’ll lock into their nemesis status quo from before and lean into it hard, and it will likely hurt him badly. What I’d also like to see, though, (if only to assuage my own heartbreak) is him taking steps to deal with this a little more constructively, in addition to the inevitable self-destruction. I’d love to see him get back in touch with his ride-or-die middle school friends or even make new ones. In fact, I suspect that’s who the character of Aneesa is going to be, regardless of whether she becomes a contender for his love interest.

Aneesa is described as someone whose confidence and radiance will pose an immediate threat to Devi. I doubt that means she’ll be another academic rival, at least not completely; Devi already has Ben for that. As for romantic rivalry, it is likely not going to be Paxton Aneesa will be paired with, since it’ll only be a rehash of Devi’s insecurities of Paxton liking ‘hotter’ girls like Zoe and vying for his attention. (There’s a possibility she and Paxton will have history together and that threatens Devi even if she’s already in a relationship with him, but for me, that’s a less interesting choice than letting Devi focus on the challenges that will be inherent with Paxton being her boyfriend.) I think Aneesa will be another mirror for Devi—who she could have been if she pursued friendship and openness and maybe even a relationship with Ben, and that’s likely going to make Devi bitterly jealous. If this results in friendship and openness and maybe even a relationship for Ben (a deeper, more genuine one than his previous), I’m completely here for it, even if I am still hoping for a Bevi endgame.

(Low-key theorizing that Ben's smiling at Aneesa here, btw)

#clary scribbles #nhie meta #ben gross #devi vishwakumar #devi x ben #nalini vishwakumar #kamala nandiawada #paxton hall yoshida #never have i ever

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ofhoneyandrosepetals · 4 years ago

Text

Summer Roads - Chapter 5

Pairing: Sean x Fem! reader

Description: You’ve always been Lyla’s best friend, but since Sean moved you became an inseparable trio. But who could say that, after all these years together, you would start growing feelings for Sean?

Warning: swearings only.

Word count: 2,207

A/N: it just came to me that I never put Chapter 4 in my masterlist, but that error is already corrected! Have fun <3

You woke up with the sunlight on your face, making your eyelids tremble. The first thing you noticed was that Sean’s sleeping bag was empty. Lyla was still asleep. Once you get up you head for the kitchen, where the smell of toasts and coffee filled the air. Lyla’s mom had a cup of steaming coffee on her hands as she talked with Sean, who devoured the toasts.

“Wasn’t the night chilly?” Lyla’s mom asked.

“It was alright, the sleeping bags are warm,” Sean answered, a toast midway to his mouth when he saw you. “Ah, you up.”

“Good morning, Y/N,” Yu-jin said. “Make yourself at home, of course,” she gestured for the kitchen, meaning that you could serve yourself as you pleased.

“I sure did that,” Sean mumbled, mouth full of toast.

“Don’t do that, Sean,” you whispered at him, meaning his lack of manners in front of Lyla’s mom.

“Well, I’ll leave you two alone. If you need anything, I’ll be upstairs.”

“Okay, thanks,” you and Sean said at the same time.

“Plans for today?” The boy asked you. You shrugged.

“I don’t know, I guess Lyla actually made a list of things she wanted us to do, but I don’t know what’s there and I’m a bit afraid to ask.”

“She’ll probably keep us busy the whole summer.”

You took notice of Sean’s hands as he cleaned the crumbles of toast from the counter. His index finger was still coloured from the spray paint. You looked at your own, still pink.

“Oh, don’t worry about it, one shower and it’s clean,” you heard Sean saying about the spray paint.

“I’m not worried about that.”

“What is it, then? That troubles you? I know there’s something, you’ve been acting all weird yesterday, zoning out and whatever.”

You could never, not in a thousand years, tell Sean what really troubled you, so you decided to lie, which wasn’t much of an easy decision - you hated lying. But in that situation it was perfectly acceptable.

“It’s just my brother,” you said with a wave of your hand, as if dismissing the subject. “I don’t think he’s coming this summer and, well, that kinda sucks.”

“Oh,” Sean raised his eyebrows. “That’s awful, yeah. Why do you think he’s not coming? He didn’t say anything yet?”

“Yep.”

“Don’t worry about it, Y/N,” Sean got up from the stool he was sitting on. “I’m sure he will come,” and Sean hugged you.

It wasn’t supposed to be or to feel weird, since you always hugged Sean, but now it was a delicate situation, since you weren't looking at him with the same eyes. You tried to think as fast as you could to relax your body and hug him back, passing your arms around him. The texture of the fabric of his shirt felt soft under your fingertips. You hugged him tight.

“Thanks,” it was all you could manage.

“Hey, hey - don’t get all sentimental,” Sean tapped your shoulders, a little smile on his face. “You know I’m always willing to trade Daniel.”

That comment made you laugh out loud. “I’d love to keep Daniel just for me for a couple days. We would play so much you’d be jealous!”

“You don’t need to play with Daniel to get me jealous.”

The volume of his voice was so low that at first you doubted he even said anything. Sean was going out through the back door, so you couldn’t ask him if he’d say anything, and those words stuck to your brain like glue.

In the end, Lyla’s mom needed her to help clean the house, so the second day of summer vacation wasn’t going to be spent by the three of you together. Sean asked if you wanted to go over his house and kill some time, but you were so scared of spending time alone with him that you declined.

“Dude, you can’t be sad over something you don’t even know it’s gonna happen,” he said, sounding worried.

“I know, I know, but I need to clean my room, you saw how the situation is.”

“Your room is not even slightly different from what it usually is.”

“Ouch,” you mimicked a stake going through your heart.

“Silly,” Sean said as he shook his head. “Well, if you feel like doing something, anything, don’t hesitate to hit me up.”

“You got it, boss,” you saluted him and jogged to your house without looking back.

What you didn’t know was that Sean was the one who actually looked back.

Of course you didn’t clean your room - not because you didn’t think it wasn’t necessary, because it clearly was, but simply because you were the type of person who never cleared their rooms. Simple as that. Instead, you spent the rest of the morning and the afternoon eating chips, watching TV and occasionally flipping a comic - doing whatever that came to you was the very key of keeping Sean out of your mind.

Your mom was at work, so when the bell rang it was up to you to go and open the door - checking before who it was, of course.

Your heart beat increased what it felt like a thousand percent.

Sean was at your front door.

Keep it cool, keep it cool, you kept repeating to yourself in thoughts as you opened the door to see the whole Diaz family.

“Hi, Y/N!” Greeted an excited Daniel, a Power Bear doll on his left hand as he waved his right one.

“Hello, Diaz. What can I do for you?” You propped one shoulder against the doorframe, trying to look cool and relaxed, and not someone who would probably pop and fly high into the sky.

“Your mom called my dad to say that she’s going to be back home late, so you’re supposed to have dinner with us.”

“And I asked dad if we could get some pizza, since it’s summer vacation!” Daniel was excited as far as a 7 year old could get - meaning: at full speed.

“Why didn’t she tell me that?” You asked. “I knew nothing about it.”

Sean only shrugged.

“Go put on some shoes, Y/N.”

“Is it dinner time already?” You looked behind you, at the clock hanging in the kitchen wall.

“Y/N, shooooooooes,” Sean begged. “I’m starving.”

“Okay, okay, gimme a sec,” you raised your palms and, leaving the front door open so the Diaz family could come in, you went for your room to quickly change your clothes and put on some shoes.

Once you stepped outside your bedroom, Daniel went directly towards you, pretending that his toy was flying, circling around you.

“Let’s go let’s go let’s go!”

“Isn’t Lyla coming?” You asked Sean.

“I called her, but she said she would stay home tonight.”

“Stay home tonight?” That sentence was odd, coming from Lyla. “Is she alright?”

“She seemed fine - I guess she’s just tired from all the cleaning up. A thing you ended up not doing, right?” Sean flicked a look at your room, your door cracked open. You shrugged, embarrassed. “Please tell me you didn’t get your ass all sad the whole day.”

“I didn’t!” You assured him. “I just watched TV and read some comics.”

“Y/N,” Sean said as you locked the front door - Esteban and Daniel were already in the car, waiting for you. “You don’t need to lie to me, you do know that, right? I’d never judge you.”

“I didn’t lie to you,” you quickly grabbed the key back and tossed it in your jeans pocket. Sean narrowed his eyes.

“Well, my message was received. I hope you listen to it.”

“I did. I will,” you shook your head, confused. “Whatever, Diaz. Let’s go.”

Sean smiled and went to open the car door for you. Your heart skipped a bit and you had to take a deep, silent breath to recover yourself.

Daniel seemed to command the whole show - he chose the table, he demanded to sit beside you and he also had a pick on one of the pizza toppings. Sean heavily sighed most of the time, especially when Daniel basically screamed that he’d be the one to sit by your side. Sean sat across you and you tried to look as what you thought you always did.

You wanted to be and act normal around him after the new discovery of your feelings, but it was hard to do so - you always had the idea that Sean might pick up on the hints, that he would discover somehow and, consequently, step back and not be your friend anymore.

You two agreed on pepperoni topping.

“Aww, pepperoni is awful,” Daniel complained.

“What are you whining about? You chose your own topping, Daniel,” Sean said.

“I know, but I want Y/N to eat my pizza too.”

“I’ll eat whatever’s on the table, Dani,” you told him.

“Just don’t eat the napkins,” Esteban said.

“They’re paper napkins, I think they’re edible enough,” you said.

“Ewww,” the Diaz brothers expressed at the same time, making you and Esteban laugh at them.

Dinner with the Diaz was always a fun thing - you loved to see Daniel picking at Sean and the boy getting angry, but not really angry -, so tonight was no exception. Daniel snorted soda through his nose, making you and Sean laugh like two idiots while Esteban tried to pose as a “father who had control over his children,” even though he was holding his own laugh. It was easy to forget that Sean had changed over your eyes, and as soon as that thought occurred to you, the feelings all came back in a flow.

Esteban dropped you at your house, Daniel waving and screaming bye to you until you stepped inside the living room. Your mom was in the kitchen snacking on something. “Hey,” she said. “Had fun tonight?”

“Yeah,” you said giggling, remembering some of the hilarious things that could happen in a pizza restaurant.

“You seem different, sweetie.”

You stood still.

“Different how?”

“I don’t know, just… different. I guess tonight was fun for you. Oh, I almost forgot.”

But different how?, you thought. Am I looking too tortured or what?

“Your brother called - he’s coming next week.”

Those news enlightened you in a whole new way that you didn’t think was possible. Your brother here meant that you could take your mind off of what’s troubling you, besides the fact that you could always count on your brother for advice - especially the kind you needed.

“That’s awesome!” You shouted and your mom smiled. “Oh, I’ve been waiting for that call. I gotta tell the others! Lyla needs to update her to-do list.”

You ran to your room, opening your laptop and checking if both your best friends were online. They happened to be. You immediately called them.

“Wadduuuup,” Lyla said as soon as all of you were on the call.

“Is it an emergency? I just dropped Y/N at her house,” Sean said and you could hear Daniel’s loud voice in the background.

“I think Daniel had too much soda,” you said.

“Daniel’s excited about something at his friend’s house this weekend - I don’t intend to find out what it is.”

“Well, I happen to have great news,” you said, placing your hand on your chest.

“How great are we talking about?” Lyla asked.

“The kind of great that will require an update to your to-do list,” you answered.

“Oh, that only means one thing,” Sean said.

“Your brother’s coming!” Lyla jumped on her chair. “That’s so awesome!”

If you loved your brother that much, just imagine your friends - he felt like an older brother to all of them as well.

“Okay, I’ll see where I can include mr. Peter and think of new things we can do.”

“Now that Y/N just told us the news, are you two down for some gaming?” Sean suggested.

“Sorry, Seanie, I’m tired of all the cleaning, I don’t think I can function well enough to play through the night.”

“Yeah, me neither,” you said.

“What did you do the whole day to feel tired?” Sean asked, suspicious.

“I just wanna go to bed early, that’s all,” you shrugged off.

“Sometimes it sucks being the only guy in this group.”

“This has nothing to do with you being a boy,” you stated.

“He knows that, he just likes to be a drama queen,” Lyla said. “Well, I’m off. Kisses and hugs,” and Lyla went offline.

“I’m going too,” you said.

“Yeah, I know,” Sean rolled his eyes.

“Just play with Daniel,” you teased him.

“Oh, no way. He’s too on, I don’t wanna increase the situation.”

“Good luck with the goofball. Good night, Sean.”

“Good night, Y/N.”

You finally went to bed, staring at your ceiling, a swirl of thoughts running through your mind. Sean’s phrase at the Park’s kitchen earlier that day came back to you, making your heart go wild. “You don’t need to play with Daniel to get me jealous.”

It’s nothing, it’s nothing, it means anything, it’s nothing, you repeat it like a mantra until you fall asleep, having a dreamless sleep.

A/N: please let me know if you wanna be tagged in the future chapters so you’ll always know when the fic is updated!

#sean diaz #sean diaz x reader #sean diaz fic #life is strange 2 #life is strange 2 fic #lis 2 #lis 2 fic

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neonthewrite · 3 years ago

Text

Field Trip

Another contest prize! The request this time was for some quality fluff between Jacob Andris, a human, and Vel, a young wood sprite of Wellwood. Jacob is the gentlest giant around, so it's no wonder that little sprite wanted to hang out with him!

Reading time ~5-10 minutes

~~~~~

Jacob smirked when Bowman flitted towards him. As he predicted, the fussy sprite wasted no time scolding him. “Could you be any more of a stompy giant?!” he complained, banking in a wide arc around Jacob’s long, striding gait. “You’ll scare everyone off before you even show up.”

Jacob had put a lot of work into walking carefully enough to avoid that exact situation. Even knowing he could do more, he was confident in his skills. Naturally, that did nothing to stop Bowman from scolding him. Jacob would worry about the little guy if he ever kicked that habit. “Nah, I won’t,” he countered. “I had you to warn everyone I was coming. They know I’m on the way. Bet I’ll even have a big welcome party.”

Bowman scoffed. “Welcome party or not, you’re blasted loud, Jacob. No storm clouds to be seen and yet there’s thunder.”

That earned another chuckle from Jacob. “Dude, what’s got you so worked up? Trying to convince people you trained a giant again?”

Bowman groaned, and Jacob spotted the look on his face before he could flit away. “Bowman, you don’t need to fret about it. I’ll be on my best behavior, like I always am. No one will find a reason to scold you, at least not from me.”

Another little scoff. This time, Bowman swooped close so he could land on Jacob’s shoulder. With his perch claimed, he finally admitted “Fine. You’re right. But if someone gets upset, I might just get chased out of the village. Last visit a nestling climbed into your hood but I’m the one who got bopped for it!”

Jacob laughed, though he tried to rein it in with Bowman perched on him. “Dude, they wouldn’t do that. And if they did, you can just chill with me. That’s not so bad, right?”

“Ha. If any nestling gets in trouble, I’m pointing at you, giant.”

Jacob rolled his eyes, but wasn’t surprised. “And if someone tries to bop you, I’ll probably have to let ‘em. Wouldn’t want anyone to think I’m not trained, right?”

“Oh, climb a dead tree. And then behave. We’re almost there.”

~~~

Jacob had visited Wellwood several times before. It never went as badly as Bowman assumed it might, though not for lack of griping. Most of the residents of the village trusted Jacob to be near their vulnerable homes; he’d stood up for them against other humans before, after all. He protected the secret even from his own family. Even those who were still wary of him didn’t begrudge others a chance to visit with him. Jacob had no intention of forcing someone to be around him if they didn’t want to, anyway. He had plenty of visitors as it was.

True to his word, he behaved well. He put up a calm front for Bowman, but in reality Jacob was careful to watch every move. He didn’t want to break that fragile trust he’d built up with the wood sprites of Wellwood.

While some of the younger sprites came to see Jacob, with their parents nearby just in case, Bowman had spent some time wheeling about in the air, chasing or being chased by other sprites his age. It was a pleasantly uneventful afternoon, as far as Jacob was concerned.

He made his way back to his clearing near dinnertime. While the sprites all wandered home to eat, Jacob wanted to be well away from the village. Seeing him eat made them nervous sometimes, and it made him feel awkward. He’d go have his dinner at his camp and the sprites needn’t be bothered.

The clearing, his temporary residence whenever he visited, was just as he’d left it earlier. His tent waited to one side with some firewood piled next to it. A plastic cooler sat in the shade next to a bucket for water. He had a sturdy line tied between two trees to hang up some of his other belongings, particularly food he didn’t want some forest critter to drag away.

He took a few steps towards that line only to halt in surprise at the sound of a giggle. The sound startled him enough that he swayed in place from the sudden stop. It was not a sound he expected out here, not with the village so far behind him.

“Alright, very sneaky,” he said to the open air before looking down at the pocket on the front of his hoodie. An innocuous pouch of fabric, it fascinated most of the sprites that encountered it. They didn’t have pockets on their clothes at all, so he didn’t have to wonder why.

Gingerly, Jacob reached a hand into the pocket, wary of bumping into tiny wings at the wrong angle. A small figure shifted away from his fingers and another giggle emitted from the pocket, and he couldn’t help a faint smile of his own. Whoever it was, they were young and quite pleased with themself for their deception.

A deception Jacob would take the blame for, he was certain.

“C’mere, kiddo,” he said, scooping his hand beneath the miniscule sprite and ferrying them out into the open. Little movements fluttered on his palm as they settled, and before he even had them in view he felt little hands clinging to his thumb for stability.

It turned out to be one of the nestlings, an absolutely tiny child with wings too small to do more than flutter along on the ground. His light brown hair was mussed and staticky from the pocket, and his wings stretched out as soon as he was back in the sunlight. He grinned at Jacob as he rose to eye level with the would-be giant. “Hi, Jacob! I was hiding!”

“I noticed,” Jacob replied, amusement coloring his voice. “You’re … Vel, right?”

If possible, the boy’s grin brightened. “Yeah! I’m Vel! I wanted to see your, um, your camp! So I was real sneaky.”

That exuberance was hard to deny, so Jacob only shook his head ruefully. “You don’t need to be sneaky to come visit me here, Vel. I’m sure your parents wouldn’t mind bringing you, but you should have asked so they’d know where you went.”

The boy stuck out his lip in a defiant pout, and his little wings flared open in a show of confidence despite the way his arms still wrapped around Jacob’s curled thumb. “But I wanted to be sneaky! And my mama wouldn’t have said yes, not when it’s dinnertime. But I thought, maybe, I could just have dinner here! Then when we go back she won’t get upset!”

Oh she’ll be mad alright, Jacob thought. Just probably not at you. It looked like Bowman’s worrying earlier would come to pass and Jacob would earn a few tiny bops.

He looked over his shoulder as if he might see a pair of angry sprite parents darting out of the woods right then and there. When he looked back, he was met with some very potent puppy eyes from Vel. “Okay,” he conceded, earning another enthusiastic grin. “But you’ll have to be good, and you have to promise me you won’t hide in my pocket again, okay? It’s not safe for you to be in there without me knowing.”

Vel nodded vigorously. “Okay! Yeah! I’ll be good, Jacob, I promise!”

“Good, we don’t want to make your mom worry any more than she already will,” Jacob replied with a faint smile.

Jacob had no doubts the kid would do his best, but really the responsibility all rested with him. He sighed and determined not to let that thought worry him; it wasn’t like he would let Vel wander into something dangerous, and the kid really couldn’t go all that far on his own. His wings were still small, occasionally fluttering involuntarily.

He moved his hand closer to his chest, offering his tiny guest better stability as he continued towards his hanging food bags. “You might end up having a dinner of human food, I can’t remember everything I brought,” he warned.

Vel didn’t seem worried. “Yay! Is it candy?”

Jacob had to chuckle at that. He grabbed one of his bags down from the line and made his way to his dormant campfire to have a seat. “No, I’m not gonna feed you candy for dinner,” he chided. “You need something healthier to make sure those wings grow big and strong.”

Vel pouted up at him, but didn’t have any further arguments. He clung tighter to Jacob’s thumb as he settled himself on the ground. He watched the sturdy food bag curiously, eyeing the zipper as Jacob opened it up.

First things first, Jacob rummaged in the bag with his free hand until he found a handkerchief, little more than a worn swatch of cloth he’d meant to use as a napkin. This he set on the ground before finally lowering Vel down. “Here you go, bud. You can sit here so you’re not right in the dirt, sound good?”

Vel scooted himself to the edge of Jacob’s hand, pausing to survey the offered picnic blanket before he hopped down. His wings fluttered and his arms shot out to his sides so he could prevent a stumble, and then he grinned proudly up at Jacob. “Thanks, Jacob! It’ll be fun! I’m gettin’ hungry! What’re we gonna have?”

Jacob couldn’t help an endeared smile. He gently nudged at Vel’s tiny stomach, earning a burst of giggles. “Hungry, huh? Let’s see what I have, maybe we can fill that tummy right up.”

“I betcha have a lot,” Vel mused, dropping to a seat while Jacob searched through his bag. “That bag is big enough for a whole house! Maybe two!”

“It’s pretty big alright,” Jacob agreed. “Gotta have a lot so I don’t run out while I’m visiting. Then I’d have to eat leaves, and those don’t fill me up as well as they do for you sprites.”

Vel giggled some more, but was distracted from responding when Jacob produced a few clear baggies from the large canvas bag. Raisins, granola, trail mix, and a few other things that kept well were separated into the bags; Jacob set aside a few that definitely wouldn’t work (thankfully Vel didn’t notice the M&Ms in the trail mix before it was out of sight again). Jacob picked out a raisin and a broken shard of a banana chip, thinking they’d be plenty to get the kid started.

He held them out and Vel, his eyes wide, took both in his hands with an endearing kind of reverence. “Thanks, Jacob! These look really good! This … what’s this yellow thing?”

Jacob helped himself to some granola, but before eating any he explained the food for Vel. “The yellow thing is a dried piece of a banana. It’s a kind of fruit. The other thing is called a raisin. It’s a dried berry. They’re still good like that, I promise.”

Vel wrinkled his nose in thought, then eyed up the two unusual fruits in his lap. “That sounds like winter food,” he pointed out. “But they’re not cold!”

"Nah," Jacob agreed, keeping an eye on the fascinated little sprite. "Maybe they were cold when someone dried them out. I don't know how they make 'em."

Vel nibbled at the banana chip and pondered it. Jacob took the kid's distraction as a chance to sneak a few more bites of granola. Vel didn't seem as worried about it as most of the adult sprites, but Jacob didn't plan to take any chances upsetting him. The kid had an innocent trust in the would-be giant in his midst. Breaking that trust would be deplorable.

After a few minutes of quiet, Vel finally had a verdict. "I like this banana thing," he announced, holding up the piece he'd barely made a dent in. "You said it wasn't gonna be candy, but this is just as good as candy! It’s kinda hard but I don't mind 'cause it's really yummy!"

"Well, good," Jacob said with an endeared smile. "It’s good for you. Much better for those wings than candy would be " To punctuate his claim, Jacob nudged one of Vel's fluttering wings with a fingertip.

Vel squirmed away on his makeshift picnic blanket, clutching his banana chip close to his chest as he did. “Wait, wait, I wanna try the other thing too!” he said in between giggles.

Jacob relented and nodded pointedly at the raisin Vel had left behind in his scrambling. “Oh, that thing right there? I thought you were leaving it for me.”

Vel gasped and dove for it. “Nooo, I still want it! I promise!”

“Alright,” Jacob conceded, doing his best put-upon expression. “Go ahead and try it out. Whatever you don’t manage to fit in your tummy can go home with ya, okay? Maybe your parents would like it.”

And maybe a peace offering will get me out of trouble, he amended silently.

Vel fidgeted to settle himself comfortably again. “Yeah! I bet they’d like to try it. Winter food that isn’t cold is so weird!”

Jacob hummed thoughtfully. “I bet it is,” he said, sneaking some more of his own food while Vel was preoccupied. “I wonder what your mom and dad will say about it.”

~~~

Soon enough, it was time to head back to the village. The sky was turning orange at the edge of the horizon. No matter the begging faces he got, Jacob’s resolve only wavered a bit. He really couldn’t let the kid stay out too long without his parents knowing where he was.

Arriving back at the village, he had a feeling he knew which of the trees held Vel’s home. A number of adult sprites fluttered around it in agitated patterns. They barely noticed his return to the village.

Until he cleared his throat. “Um. Hey, guys.” He held up his hand, fingers curled for the security of the nestling sitting on his palm. “I had someone sneak back to my clearing with me when I left for dinner.” Vel waved at the nonplussed adults.

Several of them darted over to Jacob, heedless of his size. Among them was none other than Bowman himself, who came to a hover right before Jacob’s face. “What did I tell you about behaving?!” he scolded.

Jacob blinked and leaned back. “I did behave! Vel here is very sneaky. So I gave him some dinner before bringing him home.”

Vel was grinning at a sprite woman that had landed right on Jacob’s hand to check on him. “I was so sneaky, mama!” he announced. “We had fun! Jacob let me keep the leftovers!”

At least he had Vel to smooth things over. Jacob could tell by Bowman’s narrowed eyes that he’d be bopped later. “It was just a little field trip. Won’t happen again without permission, I promise.”

“It better not,” Bowman warned, as if that was all it took to keep a nestling from misbehaving and landing Jacob in trouble.

#mywriting #jacob andris #bowman leafwing #wellwood #vel #wood sprites #gt #g/t #g/t handheld #g/t fluff #jacob and tiny kiddos

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mediocre-writerr · 4 years ago

Text

older [toni shalifoe]

toni shalfoe x reader

requested: Part 2 of Grow as we go?

*not my gif*

Your phone fell out of your hand, cracking onto the wooden tiles of your apartment. Your mom’s voice loud enough on the phone for you to still hear.

“Y/N, sweetie...Are you there? Y/N!” her voice cracked and you could hear the sniffles in her voice.

You fell onto your knees, tears flooding onto your face in a stream full of tears, “Yeah Mom. I’m here.”

“The services are in a couple days if you could get a flight back home. Toni is coming home tomorrow from where they were keeping them in quarantined. She’ll need you. So if you can get home...” your mom drew out and you just nodded, but you remembered that she couldn’t see you.

You ran your hands over your face, “Um yeah. It shouldn’t be a problem. I uh I’ll book it once I hang up.” you were already scrambling around your house for your laptop. Finally finding it to open it up to the airline you need, “I’ll see you tomorrow Mom. I love you.”

“I love you too sweetie. Be safe.”

You booked the earliest flight tomorrow morning. Bracing yourself for something that doesn’t even feel real. She was just here, you just saw her! And now...now she’s gone.

Your mom informed you that Toni will be landing not too long after you, so the two of you could drive home together. And so there you were blankly staring into the semi-crowded airport, waiting patiently for someone you weren’t sure if you wanted to see. It would feel too real, if you did.

And this has to be some sick dream...right?

“Y/N?” you heard a voice call out and your eyes came back to focus, seeing Toni standing there right in front of you. Her skin slightly darker with sunburn blisters lacing her arms.

Tears immediately started to swell up in your eyes at the sight of her. What the hell did they go through? You immediately pulled her into a hug, holding her as tight as possible.

“I’m sorry...I’m so sorry! I couldn’t,” she gasped out, but you shushed her.

“Shhh...it’s okay. It’s okay.”

But nothing was okay anymore.

The two days leading up to the services felt like a drag. You hated how it felt, everyone coming up to you and hugging you. Telling you that they’re sorry for everything and that’ll hurt for a little, but it will all be okay.

How was this supposed to be okay? Nothing about this was gonna be okay.

You’ve been avoiding Toni and slowly growing distant with her the entire time. The only time the two of you interacted was when you saw her at the airport. You weren’t mad at her, she couldn’t do anything. But you hated yourself for not being there, making the two of them go on the trip, when it should’ve been you!

“And now we have our eulogy by Martha’s best friend Toni Shalifoe.” the priest said.

Toni released a shaky breath from the seat next to you and she walked up to the podium. She was wearing a beautiful black dress, her hair down in her natural waves. But her beautiful brown eyes was ruined by bloodshot eyes and the sleepless nights showed by the bags under her eyes. No matter what though, she still looked absolutely beautiful. She unfolded the paper she was holding and began reading it.

“Marty was my best friend. She was the only one at school who could put up with all of my bullshit. I was a complete ass, 99% of the time, but she didn’t...she didn’t care about that. She still stood by my side, when I was homeless, when my foster parents were being terrible human beings...” her voice cracked and you could see the tears well up in her eyes, “Or when I got my first heartbreak. She was always there. And I uh I just was me...I’m sorry.” she confessed when her voice kept cracking and she couldn’t take it anymore.

Without hesitation, you rushed up to her and wrapped your arms around her. You saw the tear stained marks on the piece of paper that everything was written on. Toni nuzzled her face into your neck as she began crying softly. You picked up the paper, clearing your throat, and started reading where she left off.

“I thought I was unlovable, unworthy of being loved by any human being. My parents left me alone, my foster parents treated me like shit, and no one wanted to deal with my attitude. But she came along and she loved me for who I was. The flipping tables, the picking fights, and the piss that was thrown: everything I did, it didn’t matter because she still loved me. Some people are born with sisters, but me? I chose mine.” A few tears escaped your eyes as you continued to read, “I’m sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Blackburn, Y/N, I didn’t do the one thing that I swore I would always do.”

Toni was full on sobbing into your arms causing your whole body to shake. You could see your parents crying their eyes out as you were about to finish the letter, “I swore I would protect her and I couldn’t do that. I’m sorry that I’m still here and she’s not. She deserved to live a full life way more than I did. I love you Marty and I’m sorry that I couldn’t save you.”

“I need air.” Toni said, before running out of the small chapel. You looked at your parents and they gave you a subtle nod before you ran after her.

You searched everywhere for her until you finally saw her lying in the bed of your pickup truck. She was just staring up at the sky, out of it. You hopped in next to her, not saying a word, but intertwining your hands together.

“I’m sorry. I know you hate me so much right now.” she finally said, breaking the silence.

You shook your head, “No I don’t hate you Toni.”

“You’ve avoided me this entire time and we haven’t talked since and I know you hate me-“ she was about to ramble on, but you cut her off.

“I don’t hate you. I hate myself. I saw the retreat for you two girls and I was supposed to go. If I just went I could’ve protected you from everything. The two of you would be here right now and I wouldn’t.” you started and she finally turned her head to look at you, “Every time I look at you, I just keep expecting to see Marty next to you, but she’s never there. She never shows up. I don’t hate you, I could never hate you.”

Toni cupped your cheek softly, wiping off the tears as they fell upon your cheek. You pressed your forehead against yours.

“You deserve to be here. Marty would want you to be here right now. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done, you’re here now and she wouldn’t want you to be like this Toni. She wouldn’t want me to be like this either. We need to live life for her. Everything we do it’s for her.” you said, but you brought your voice down to a whisper, “No more long game.”

“No more long game?” Toni asked.

You shook your head, “As much as she hated you flirting with me. She was always so happy that you were with me. Because she knew that she could trust me to protect your heart and love you. Life’s too short to play the long game.”

She kissed you softly, it wasn’t the first time you’ve kissed her. But every time it still feels like that very first time.

“As much as Id love to continue and just lay here with you, we should go inside. It might be a little disrespectful if we stayed.” Toni suggested with the first smile you’ve seen on her face.

“Agreed.”

The two of you hopped out of the bed of the truck. But not without one more kiss, heading towards the chapel with a new sense of worth. Living life for Marty.

///

tag list: @hstoria @yourssincerelyj @shalifoestilinski @greysky22

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sprnklersplashes · 3 years ago

Text

songwriter!janis fic (unrequited crush, no-very-happy-ending)

also on ao3

It all started because she loved Taylor Swift when she was in middle school. Who is she kidding, she still loves Taylor Swift, but that’s where all this began. A middle school girl’s obsession with Taylor Swift. A confused, sad girl with a broken heart and smudged black eyeliner, finding refuge in lyrics about loneliness and anger and revenge. They became anthems for her, mantras to mutter when the warzone of middle school became too much for her.

“Someday, I’ll be living in a big old city, and all you’re ever gonna be is mean.”

“Cause I knew you were trouble when you walked in.”

“I can still see you, this ain’t the best view.”

It amazes her. It’s honestly as if Taylor Swift has managed to look into her life and given her a bundle of songs for whatever she needs. For when Regina has thrown her one too many snide looks, for when she’s standing at the door of North Shore High on her first day, for when she eats lunch alone, for when her mom is the best mom she could have asked for, for when she and Damian are lying on the grass in her backyard, staring up at the sky, laughing at absolutely nothing. The songs become the soundtrack to her life, the chords and those raw, honest lyrics an emotional outlet she so desperately craves. Taylor, and her songs, become a confidant, almost a close friend who always knows what to say.

With all that in mind, perhaps it was only a matter of time before she asks for a guitar for Christmas. She’s fourteen, braces and a slight lisp, and jumps up and down like a mad woman when she sees it under the tree.

She practices for three days straight, until her fingers bleed, but Should’ve Said No is the first song she learns off by heart. She yells the lyrics with maybe a little too much passion, but her parents applaud her nonetheless.

Like she said, that’s how it all started.

Because that same Christmas, she realises that screaming her feelings while playing guitar actually feels pretty cathartic. And that if it worked for Taylor Swift, it could work for her. So she writes stuff down, plays around with chords and strumming until the beat on the guitar matches the one in her head. She grabs a page and a pencil and writes and re-writes her innermost thoughts and feelings on the page until they sound the way she wants them to. She plays around with rhyme schemes and structure and everything she’s been taught about in English class, and a thrill runs through her as she does so. It’s the same breathless high she feels when she paints or draws, the rush that comes from creating something.

Her parents sit on the other side of her bedroom door, no doubt exchanging worried glances as she repeats the same verse, same chorus, with only a word changed. She watches them when they think she can’t see, peering through the crack in her door. The conclusion they seem to come to is ‘well, as coping mechanisms go, it’s pretty good, and she’s happy, so who are we to stop it?’.

It takes her four days to finish her first song. And it sucks. But she keeps it, writes down the lyrics and chords in one of the few empty notebooks she has, and there’s no going back from it now. She writes, and she writes, and she writes, near enough every day. She likes to think she gets better with each one. She learns more chords, buys a cheap ukulele the summer after freshman year, tries her hand at piano during a particularly difficult few weeks. She doesn’t plan on doing anything with them. They’re just her little pieces to hold on to. Her therapy sessions outside the carpeted office.

No-one knows about it. She has a reputation to keep up, after all. The loner-by-choice, too-cool-for-school, aloof art freak. Everyone has their roles to play in the ecosystem that is high school and, much as she hates the entire system, that is hers to play. And she plays it well, if she may say so. The fact that hardly anyone knows her past that facade suits her just fine. After all, if people think she doesn’t care, she can’t get hurt. No-one needs to know that Janis Sarkisian actually has feelings.

Even less need to know that she writes songs about said feelings.

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By the time she reaches her junior year, she’s onto her third notebook. She keeps them tucked away in her sock drawer, expertly hidden so only she can find them. Damian teases her about it, calling her “the protagonist of a Disney Channel Original Movie”. She just rolls her eyes and reminds him that “if either of us is gonna be Disney’s first openly gay character, it’ll be you”. He can’t argue with that.

It should be noted that when Janis said that no-one knows about her songwriting, Damian was the obvious exception. He found out just weeks after she started. There’s no keeping secrets from him.

Between all her notebooks, she’s written around forty songs.

Then she meets Cady Heron one day. The human embodiment of a labrador puppy, complete with wide, lost eyes. She likes her instantly, decides to take her under her wing because Lord knows the girl needs it. Cady’s smile is infectious, her laugh like a summer breeze. She has dimples and caramel-coloured hair and really likes maths.

She meets Cady on a Monday.

By that Saturday, song number 41-titled “Dimples and Curls” is more or less complete.

She plays it for Damian, hands only slightly shaking as she changes chords, the strumming short and upbeat, the melody strangely happy for such a bittersweet song.

He applauds her, but the subject of the song hangs in the air even after she’s played the last chord and the music fades. Unsaid, but not unknown. Just like her songwriting, Janis couldn’t keep a crush from Damian if she tried.

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“Hey, check it out.”

Cady drops onto the seat across from Janis, the whole table shaking as she does so. Like a small meteor just hit Earth. Janis looks up from her lunch, pretending like she had been doing her own thing and not watching the door until Cady came in. Pretending like her stomach doesn’t do little flips at the sight of her crossing the cafeteria. She pulls the flyer towards her and hums in amusement.

“The winter talent show,” she reads before chomping off a carrot stick. “Oh, is it that time of year already?”

“Seems like only yesterday we was welcoming the young’uns into this brave new world during the harvest season,” Damian sighs, putting on a delightfully over the top Southern Belle accent, no doubt influenced by their reading of Streetcar Named Desire in English class. Janis cackles, and nearly chokes on her lunch as she does.

“And now the cold winds of winter are descending upon us,” she replies, her accent equally heavy. She bats her eyes for good measure, because she can and because it makes Cady laugh. “Oh but I pray the children will survive this season, it is often rough for them.”

“I am never showing you two anything winter related ever again,” Cady says.

Janis just shrugs and runs her hand through her hair before her eyes go back to the flyer. Clearly, whatever sophomore they got to design it this year did their best; found the prettiest looking snowflakes on Google Images to put on the cartoon stage, decided to write in some swirling, slanted font rather than the start-studded block lettering they usually went for. It’s still the same as it is every year, meaning just as mockable, but she’ll give them points for tying.

“Well, anyone here going for it?” she asks. She looks from Damian to Cady and back again, a teasing smirk on her lips. “Last year and all that.”

“Not sure I can,” Damian sighs. “I mean, I’m booked up with Spelling Bee rehearsals and spring cabaret auditions happening next semester.” He drums his fingers against his throat. “Gotta give the little vocal chords some rest, you know?”

Janis’ response is to sing the lowest note she possibly can before turning to Cady and giving her a pointed look, the corner of her mouth quirked up.

“Who? Me?” Cady’s cheeks turned crimson and she shakes her head so much that the caramel curls bounced around her shoulders. “No way. Damian can take the stage, I’m fine with my calculators and textbooks.”

“You could always solve equations in front of everyone,” Janis says. “I could call out college-level questions from the audience and you solve them in under 30 seconds.”

“I think I’ll pass,” she giggles. She leans forward slightly, eyes glittering, and Janis does her best not to squirm. The effect Cady Heron’s eyes have on her should be studied by scientists. “What about you, Janis?”

“I don’t know.” She thinks back to when she helped on stage crew last year, as well as helping out (or taking over) with the set design. It had been fun, the kind of challenge she needed to keep her mind off the slowly-going-off-the-rails plan. And she was told it looked good on her college applications, because all people can think about apparently is college, college, college. “Maybe. They might need another genius stage manager.”

“And you’ll step in if they can’t find one?” She digs Damian in the ribs for that comment.

“But not performing?” Cady asks, and Janis freezes. Performing had never even crossed her mind before. She’s used to backstage, hell, she likes backstage. It’s not that she has stage fright or anything, and if she had, her stunt at Ms Norbury’s little healing session would have squished it. She had just never thought about it.

But Cady had, apparently.

“I-No, I-I don’t think so,” she stammers out. “Um, I might do backstage again, but not actually doing something, you know, talent related.” She bites her tongue and clamps her lips shut before anything else can come out.

“Okay then,” Cady replies slowly. She gets up from the table, her little empty water bottle in her hands. “I’m going to go for a refill, save my seat.”

“No problem,” Janis says, but Cady’s already jogging away.

She doesn’t know if it’s good or bad that Cady’s known her too long to think of her as cool, and so this kind of awkward babbling isn’t really surprising to her. Instead of thinking about it, she just sets her head on the table and lets Damian rub her back.

“You were nowhere near as bad as you think you were,” he assures her.

“Title of your sex tape,” comes her murmured reply. Damian chuckles and runs his fingers through her hair, like she’s his pet cat. It helps.

“So you’re definitely not going for the talent show then?” he asks.

Her first instinct is to say no, because of course she isn’t, because she never has before and she sees no point in breaking a three-year streak, but the answer catches in her throat. At the same time, something begins forming in her brain, pieces of a melody she’s already known, words filling in blank spots in her brain, and her fingers twitch involuntarily, playing the chords on an invisible guitar. Without a word, she grabs a notepad and pen from her bag and scribbles the words down before she forgets them, quickly becoming breathless just by sitting there. She forgets, for a moment, everything else, the talent show, Cady, even Damian next to her, and just revels in the task and the quick buzz she gets just from writing. Just like that she has one eye on the clock, itching to get home and put her notes into the rest of the song.

But with those notes came an idea, an idea so completely out of left field she almost laughs at it.

“Janis?” Damian asks, just slightly unnerved by her. If anyone else were at this table, even Cady (especially Cady), she would have had to excuse herself and run to the bathroom, or just hope the words stayed in her head long enough for her to get a quiet moment. “Did the Goddess of Music just possess you again?”

“Maybe,” is her response. He doesn’t know it, but she answered both the questions he asked in the past minute.

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She sits on her bed that night, her homework half-done and strewn across the desk, abandoned in favour of the guitar sitting in her lap and notebook open on her bed. She’s been working on his song for the better part of a week, inspiration and motivation seemingly striking and then fading whenever she gets a free moment. Abandoning it has crossed her mind-she’s no stranger to abandoning things that aren’t working-but for some reason she hasn’t quite been able to shake this particular song off.

Maybe it is Euterpe, the Goddess of Music, descending upon her because this song has to be finished, it has to be, Olympus willing it so.

Or maybe it’s because this song is one of the most personal things she’s ever written, a love letter she’ll never send, and the idea of it sitting unfinished drives her crazy.

She plays another chord and sings the line again, changing the ending slightly, and makes the adjustment in her notes.

She’s crazy. This is already crazy, her secret double life as a wannabe T-Swift, but now she’s gone beyond that. Thinking of actually playing it. On a stage. In front of people. She doesn’t care what people think of her, she stopped caring about that a long, long time ago, but holy shit what will people think of her after she does this? Life isn’t like the movies, she knows that much. It won’t be some pretty, softly-lit moment where the crowd sits with teary eyes, Cady runs onstage and kisses her and she’s offered a deal by some big shot producer, and they all live happily ever after the end. What could happen is people think she’s even more of a weirdo than they do now.

Or she gets tomatoes thrown at her head and she’s booed off the stage. That’s a possibility.

She calls Damian, because that’s the only way she sees out of her little thought cul-de-sac. She puts the phone on speaker and props it up against a pillow, keeping her hands free for her guitar and her pen. He picks up on the third ring, just as she’s strumming out a G chord.

“Oh, is someone prepping for her Grammy?” he asks. “You’re still taking me as your date, right?”

“Only if my dog can’t go,” she replies. She taps her nails against the wood, the rhythm too fast and frantic to just be a habit. Yes, she can tell Damian anything, and being nervous in front of him is laughable, but sometimes her body forgets that. “So, I was thinking about the talent show.”

“Oh? You’re going for stage crew again? Cool.”

“No-not exactly.” She knows he can’t see the smile creeping across her face, but she’d wager he can hear it through the phone. A small swarm of butterflies flutters in her chest, leaving her just slightly out of breath. “I… I. think I’m going to try performing in it.”

A burst of laughter comes through the phone, slightly tinged with static, and Janis wishes he were here so she could slap him. Even if it’s not malicious in intent at all, and she’s laughing right along with him. Slapping is kind of a love language for them.

“Okay, okay cool. What’re you going to do?”

“I’ll give you a hint,” she says, and then she plays the opening chords to her latest experiment. She doesn’t add in the lyrics, not yet. Still, she sits back and basks in his applause when she finishes, cackling into her hand. He might be one person, but he’s got enough enthusiasm to match a packed auditorium. “What do you think?”

“I’m into it,” he tells her. “So… that’s the one you’re doing?”

“Think so.” She tosses the pick between her fingers. Like he could feel her smile, she can feel his raised eyebrow through the phone, the elephant in the room poking her with its trunk. “Yes, I know.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You thought it,” she tells him, and he doesn’t deny it. She looks back over the lyrics she’s written and re-written. Despite some adjustments, it’s still in essence the same. Still about a girl with pretty hair who smells like vanilla and cinnamon, who has a boyfriend and is unknowingly breaking the heart of a girl with black eyeliner and paint stained fingers. Because her boyfriend is pretty and clean and smells like soap and can do math, and how is the poor art girl even meant to compare to that?

“Yes,” she says after a while. “It is about Cady.”

“Aw, my poor lovestruck songstress,” he sighs. He shifts then, and the air shifts with him. “You sure that’s the one you want to sing? I mean you have dozens of other non-Cady related songs. I’m sure Mr Duvall would love to hear Angry Teenage Lesbian Anthem.”

“First off, I gave that one a title, it’s called Shattered,” she reminds him. “And-” She freezes, the rest of her sentence catching in her throat. He’s right. She could perform one of her other songs, that are already finished and therefore removing the pressure to have this one finished, polished and stage-ready. And of course, it would mean she wouldn’t be standing in front of her entire grade and telling them all how badly she’s in love with her best friend. Showing her deepest secret to the people who have already driven her out of school once. It’s a far safer, potentially less traumatic option for her.

But…

“No,” she says. “I know it sounds crazy but I feel like… I feel like I need to do this.” She swallows thickly and picks softly at the guitar strings. “It’s like… like this way at least I’m telling her, you know? Even if she doesn’t know it.”

Of course, Damian gets it.

“That’s beautiful, babe,” he tells her. “So you’re actually doing this?”

“I’m actually doing this,” she replies firmly. “And tomorrow, I need you to make sure I don’t chicken out before I sign up.”

“Got it. I’ll just order you to do it as Senior Co-Chair of the Student Activities Committee.”

“That’s an abuse of power.”

“Then consider yourself abused baby.” He laughs and she laughs with him, and then she hears something on Damian’s end. “I have to go. A certain little sister of mine has a princess costume that needs attending to. See you later.”

“See you later,” she replies before he clicks off the call. She looks down at her paper, then at her guitar, and thinks about what she just committed to. “I’ve got some work to do.”

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The song goes through four rewrites in the weeks leading up to the talent show. The whole first verse is changed, the chorus scrapped and replaced with a new one, then that one is scrapped and she goes back to the old one. She sits hunched on her floor with a pencil in her mouth, wondering if what she’s written is too personal or not personal enough. If it’s too obvious that Cady, smart cookie that she is, will work it out and that’ll lead them down a new, scary path. She cuts some lyrics that give the game away, opting to replace one about love for numbers with love for learning, because that opens up the pool to half their grade. She writes about Cady’s blue eyes rather than specifically those double dimples that make her melt. Maybe she’s compromising her artistic vision, but it might be worth it if it’ll keep her crush a secret. She keeps the old lyrics tucked in the back of her notebook, just to have them.

Meanwhile, she’s also dealing with the fact that people know she has signed up for the talent show. That Miss Too Cool For School Loner Art Freak Janis is actually performing at a school event. And she doesn’t even get extra credit for it. They’re surprised, and curious, and none more so than Cady. The other girl appears at her side almost instantly after first period, skinny little arms wrapped around her bicep and blue eyes alight.

Oh, the things those eyes do to her.

“Janis!” she squeaks. “I saw-on the sign up sheet-your name! Oh my God, is this a joke? Did Damian put you up to it?”

“No, no, I signed up of my own accord,” Janis tells her. That only makes Cady bounce more, ponytail bobbing up and down.

“Oh wow, that’s amazing!” she says. She stops then, her mouth freezing in its place and her cheeks turning pink. Slowly, she comes down to Earth, like a balloon that had the air let out of it. Janis can almost hear the wheeze. “I mean um, it’s pretty cool, I guess.”

“It’s pretty grool,” Janis replies, and just like that Cady bounces back up again.

“Oh my gosh, what are you going to do?” she asks. “Or do you want it to be a surprise?”

“You think I have some secret knife-throwing talent?” she grins. She hesitates for a moment, looking down at Cady’s excited face, because even if this isn’t telling her… it’s telling her. “I’m… I’m going to sing.” She pulls on the strap of her backpack and avoids Cady’s eyes. “Something I wrote.”

“Okay,” Cady says. “Who are you and what have you done with my best friend?”

“Hey!” she laughs. “I can write stuff. I can be deep.”

“Oh, I have no doubt about it,” Cady says, bumping her arm against Janis’. “But for real, Janis, I can’t wait to see it. I know you’ll be amazing.”

Warmth spreads across her pale cheeks, a pink blush no doubt colouring her face, and she somehow manages to choke out a “thanks” as her brain turns to static. Her only thought is ‘Cady thinks I’m going to be good’, and it’s written in glitter pen across her brain.

“This is going to be great,” she goes on. “Oh, wait until I tell Aaron. He’s got a break in his schedule that week so he’s coming up to see the talent show! Isn’t that great?”

And just like that, Janis’ good mood falls. Her face stays the same, because she’s trained to do it, but everything behind it crumbles.

“Yeah, that’s great,” she replies. Cady squeezes her hand, oblivious, and drags her along the hallway, chatting away about some lion documentary she had watched last night.

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She finishes the song that night. She arrives home with a heavy chest, so full of complicated, messy feelings, and her conversation with Cady still so fresh in her mind, her ears still ringing from the emotional whiplash. Her parents barely get a ‘hello’ as she enters and bolts up to her room, her hands shaking, the thoughts swirling around her brain desperate to be let out.

And let them out she does. She writes so quickly they look more like smudges than words, her fingers flying over rapidly changing chords, her voice broken and panting as she sings. The words almost write themselves, like the song has taken on a life of its own and she’s just along for the ride. She barely remembers to pause, to breathe, so wrapped up in the storm she’s created with just her guitar and pen.

It’s only when she finishes and falls back on her bed that she notices the tears in her eyes. She blinks them away and pulls herself up, her notebook in her hand. It’s done. The perfect blend of her own honest feelings and just enough smokescreen to keep people from knowing who it’s really about.

There’s no backing out now, she thinks. Her stomach drops, like she’s on the top of a roller coaster about to go down. A laugh bubbles up in her throat and leaves her breathless, her head spinning while she’s still laying there.

If holy shit were am adjective, she'd use it to describe how she feels. Because holy shit.

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Being backstage when she’s not on crew is a strange experience. She stands with her guitar slung around her body, in the middle of a current of students moving around her, half with the clunky microphones and walkie-talkies she’s used so many times before. She asks five of them if she can do anything to help-because they’re her people and she needs to do something to occupy her time-until she finally takes the hint and leaves them to it. Stagehands are the most efficient parts of any production, as she told Damian once. They’re a well-oiled machine at this point.

“Yo!” For a second, Janis thinks she imagined the whisper, just one in a jumble of backstage noises, until Damian appears at her side. A tiny ‘shit’ escapes her mouth, her body jerking. Barely anyone bats an eye at her, except him. “Sorry, didn’t mean to spook you.”

“Don’t worry. I think at this point a small breeze could knock into me and I’d crumble.”

“The great Janis Sarkisian gets nervous?” he asks, eyebrow raised.

“Only when she’s doing something incredibly personal and scary in front of her entire grade,” she whispers back. She swallows past the lump in her throat. “Aside from that I’m a beacon of confidence and unshakable will.”

“Hey.” He taps his knuckles against hers. “Remember how scared you were at Norbury’s assembly?”

“You mean after I had my picture all over the school with the d-slur written underneath it?” she mutters. “Yeah, I was shitting myself.”

“And yet, look what you did there,” he reminds her. “You were amazing. And you’re going to be amazing here too. Once you get on that stage, all those butterflies are going to make you fly, kid.”

She smiles, her heart warm, and pressed her face into the crook of Damian’s neck.

She doesn’t know how she got so lucky to have him, but she knows better than to tempt fate.

“Janis Sarkisian?” She lifts her head to find a freshman girl with a headset around her neck looking at her. “You’re up next.”

“Okay.” It’s only now she becomes aware that the last minute of Fairytale Of New York is playing, the notes will soon fade out, and that’s her cue. She turns to Damian and lets him straighten her black cardigan and fiddle with the collar of her shirt. “Wish me luck.”

“You don’t need it.” He drops a whisper of a kiss to her nose. “But good luck.”

She holds her half-heart necklace as he goes, the twin to the one around his neck. It’s as close as she can get to having him with her. Her chest tightens as she makes her way to the stage and she tries to breathe through it, because the next thign she knows, Mr Duvall is announcing her name, and she’s being greeted by a blinding spotlight that thankfully obscures most of her peers’ faces.

“Uh, hi,” she says into the microphone placed out for her. It’s just people , she reminds herself. Somewhere in that crowd, second row, seat 14, is Damian, and she breathes easier. And next to him is Cady, the girl this song is about, and for some reason that straightens her spine and irons out the shaking in her voice. She takes the pick out of its holder and tosses her hair back. “This is a song I wrote about being in love with someone who doesn’t love you back.” She blinks and hopes no-one sees the tears in her eyes. “So sing along if you get into it, because we all know it’s a shitty ass feeling.”

She plays the first chord, and then any and all doubts she had about this flee her. As cliche as it sounds, the song takes over her, and she blows through the nerves in the first verse. The experience becomes cathartic instead, like releasing a pressure valve on her soul. Even with the little diversions she threw in, she hasn’t felt this open and god damn free since last year, paraded on her peers’ shoulders with both middle fingers up. Except now she’s not flipping anyone off, or proving a point, she’s just finally telling someone how she feels, and holy shit, it’s amazing. Whatever the aftermath of this is, she won’t care, it’s worth it just for this feeling.

As she sings the last word, and that final note rings in the auditorium, her hands are shaking, her cheeks wet with tears and her hair sticky with sweat. She touches beneath her eye and her fingers come away stained black. She hasn’t cried in front of people since middle school. She doesn’t care.

The cheers of her classmates ring in her ears, Damian’s whooping the loudest of all, and as she takes her bow, she hopes she’ll remember this moment for a long time.

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“Oh my God!” she’s barely into the auditorium when Cady launches herself at her, arms wrapped around her neck and legs circling her waist. Janis nearly topples over, digging her back leg into the ground just in time, and hugs Cady with the same ferocity. “You were amazing!” she yells into her shoulder, the sound muffled by Janis’ hair.

“Really?”

“Absolutely.” She sets Cady down, but the other girl keeps a tight grip on both her arms. Janis wonders if it’s to keep herself from flying away, given the amount of bouncing up and down she’s doing. “I can’t believe you wrote that! It was so good! You need to record it, Jan. Do you have any other songs?”

“Just a few,” she says. “And I don’t know if I’m in the business of making an album any time soon.” She swings her guitar case a little. “This might have been a one-time thing.”

“Well, even if it was, it was awesome,” she says.

“Thank you, Caddy,” Janis replies. “That means a lot.”

Her mouth runs dry as Cady smiles, all baby pink lipgloss and sparkling eyes and full cheeks. If this were a movie, she thinks, this would be the part where they kiss. No need for talking, or an explanation. Because Cady would have just known. The music would turn soft and twinkly, and the lighting would match it and it would look like they’re in a dream and they’d just kiss, and it will fix all of Janis’ problems. Maybe a single tear will run down her cheek. And then they’ll run off into their new lives as the end credits roll.

How sweet that would be.

But her life isn’t a movie. If she wants anything, she has to go for it herself.

And that includes-

“Caddy.” Her name is delicate on her lips, handled with care. Cady looks at her, giving a simple ‘mm-hm’ in response, and Janis’ heart beats out of control. “That song I just sang, it-”

“Hey, guys.”

Also if this was a movie, Cady’s sweet, lovely, nice boyfriend would not be barging in right now. He’d either be a douchebag who she doesn’t feel bad about hurting, or he’d be nonexistent.

Unfortunately, this is not a movie, and Aaron Samuels exists and is the human equivalent of a squishmallow.

“Hey Aaron.” He slings his arm around Cady’s shoulders, and she leans into his touch almost instinctively. “Janis, you were great up there. I didn’t know you wrote songs.”

“It’s a bit of a new hobby,” she says, her voice hoarse. She clears her throat, and finds a bottle of water being handed to-thrown at-her.

“Hydrate those chords,” is Damian’s greeting.

“This is what I get for being friends with a theatre kid,” she sighs before she takes a drink. She hadn’t realised how dry her throat was until now.

“Okay, so we’re all going for pancakes,” Aaron says. “I take it you two are coming?”

“How can I say no to pancakes?” Janis asks. “Uh, you guys go ahead, I have to get my stuff from the green room.”

“Okay, we’ll wait for you,” Cady says. “Aaron brought his car so he can drive us.”

“Grool.” Cady and Aaron turn around together, Aaron spinning his eyes around his finger and Cady lacing her fingers through his, talking about something she can’t hear. It’s like watching them through a sheet of glass.

Not a movie. Not unless it’s one of those really, really sad movies. Sad homophobic movies.

“You okay?” Damian asks. She snorts at the question. Nothing has changed, so of course she’s okay. But then, nothing has changed, so she’s not really okay.

“I did it,” she sighs. “It’s out there. I told her, unofficially. Whether or not she works it out…” She runs her hand through her tangled hair. “That’s something else entirely.” Damian hums in agreement, a sympathetic look on his face that soon morphs into a grin.

“Hey,” he says. “I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks Mom.” They snort, Janis caught between a laugh and a sob, and squeezes Damian’s hand. She’s not optimistic about any romance in her future, at least where Cady is concerned. She and Aaron are still rock-solid and she’s happy for them, whenever she isn’t angsting about it. It’s a weird combination to have.

And at least she’s done this now. Despite a future for her and Cady not being in the cards for now, she’s glad she did it. The secret isn’t out, not entirely. Just written on the walls in invisible ink.

“Come on,” she tells Damian. “I actually do have to get my bag, and you can use this as an opportunity to double check the ghost light is on.”

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Cady and Aaron keep their promise and wait for them, waving off their apologies as they jog across the parking lot. Cady lets Damian take the front seat with Aaron and slides into the back with Janis instead. Janis frowns, confused as to why she isn’t taking her normal seat up front, and Cady rolls her eyes.

“There was a draw on the way here, and we lost,” she explains. “And now Damian has control of the aux chord,” She gestures with her head to the passenger seat, and Janis turns just in time to see him open his Spotify and scroll through his playlists. As the opening notes to Waving Through A Window fill the car, it’s met with three loud groans. Damian only turns it up louder, and adds in his own backing vocals.

“So, that song you sang,” Cady asks, leaning back in the seat. “Was it about anyone in particular?”

Janis looks down, her hands pressed together in her lap. If this is the moment the universe decided to give her, it’s a really terrible moment. Not only is Cady’s whole boyfriend sitting an arm’s length away from her, but she left her nerve back in the auditorium. Clearly, her and fate aren’t on each other’s wavelength.

“You wouldn’t know her,” she says. “She doesn't even go here.”

“Oh,” Cady replies. Her face falls, but she’s not too put out by it. Why would she be? She nudges Janis’ shoulder, a proud smile on her face, and squeezes Janis’ hand. “Well, if she has someone like you into her and she hasn’t taken the chance yet, then she doesn’t know what she’s missing.”

Janis only thanks her, and quickly changes the subject.

Someday she might tell her for real, but for now she'll stick to the songs.

#mean girls broadway #mean girls fanfic #cadnis #janis sarkisian #cady heron #cadnis ff #cady x janis #space safari #mean girls musical

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facets-and-rainbows · 4 years ago

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Blue Exorcist 10th anniversary book Q&A session

The 10th anniversary book has a section where Katoh answers 100 questions submitted by fans on Twitter, so here they are translated/paraphrased! May contain manga spoilers up to the recent flashback arc, so be warned.

(Note that I’m playing it very fast and loose here because there are A HUNDRED OF THEM, so not exact wordings, but it should capture the gist. Lemme know if there are any you want elaborated on)

1. Katoh likes the feel of traditional drawing more than digital but is impressed with how far digital has come

2. Meph THOROUGHLY ABUSES spacetime to watch all his shows and ensure that he gets all the merch he wants

3. Did the girls take all of Yukio’s school uniform buttons in middle school? Yes, they did (apparently it’s like A Thing for girls to ask for a button from their crush at middle school graduation, based on some sad movie from the 60s where a guy who got drafted as a kamikaze pilot gave a girl one of his uniform buttons to remember him by)

4. Rin's tail is about a meter long

5. There are tons of servants working at Mephisto's mansion. Belial is in charge of them

6. Katoh borrows from all sorts of neat real locations when making settings

7. Katoh identifies with pretty much all the characters the most! Except Lucifer.

8. Demon designs she's proud of include the impure king and hachirou, pretty much anything that was the main one in an arc

9. Katoh lists a bunch of her favorite musical artists/music she’s listening to recently: King Gnu, Official Hige Dandism, Kenshi Yonezu, BAD HOP, Sakanaction, Keyakizaka 46, Hypnosis Mic, Aimer, B’Z, Queen Bee.

10. Awww the rabbit manga that characters are often reading isn't just Robo to Usakichi, it's an even older one that she drew as a little kid

11. She likes industrial style interior designs

12. Rin and Yukio alternated who got the top bunk growing up, because they couldn't agree on it lol

13. Katoh cares a whole lot about panel layouts and speech bubble positions, might even be her favorite part of the process (it shows!)

4. Katoh does NOT have a mashou, lol

15. Rin has probably been practicing in secret so he can learn to carry stuff with his tail

16. Izumo probably got into shojo manga around 1st grade, her mom had some around the house

17. Specialty dishes: Rin - lots of stuff but especially nabe Yuri - stuff you can throw together quickly Shiro - stuff he learned from Yuri and/or cookbooks, alongside teaching Rin Yukio - Does. Not. Cook.

18. Can't pick a favorite place she's been on research, but there's no place like Japan

19. Kinzou's band isn't currently meeting because demons, but he's probably still thinking of new songs

20. Hardest characters to draw: anyone with detailed flowing hair. Hardest to write for: Lightning and Gedouin. She had to go read books about serial killers specifically for material for Gedouin, lol

21. Suguro actually gets a dorm room to himself, though allegedly Yukio is technically assigned as his roommate, lol. Didn't end up that way what with Yukio being a teacher and also Rin’s whole...situation

22. Shiemi makes some of her own hair accessories! Cute

23. Katoh doesn't mind if you include stuff with fan letters but check with the editor first

24. Time for making each chapter: Planning/storyboarding: 1-5 days. Sketching: 3-5 days. Drawing/inking: the rest. Just...the rest of the time

25. Neither Suguro nor Izumo have dated before and neither is currently dating. But that's probably just because things were hectic for them! It could happen

26. Yukio breaks 5 or 6 pairs of glasses a year, someone get this kid a strap or something

27. How many spare glasses does Yukio have? Check the fanbook lol it's in there (dang it Katoh)

28. The demon she wants us to pay the most attention to is Lucifer. Because plot.

29. What's under the Order's big meeting table? It's a BOTTOMLESS PIT and if you fall in it you DIE that's what makes it COOL (laughs)

30. What are the job requirements for the angelic legion? Literally just Arthur liking you and inviting you to join

31. She WANTS to do more character profiles but just hasn't gotten to it

32. Rin's tail feels like a cat tail, texture wise

33. The "red Assiah fire" is literally just actual fire nothing special

34. Rin's current hair color is light blue fading to white at the ends

35. Thoughts on Rin's growth: she likes that he stays positive in awful situations and she also thinks it's very main character of him to face the past instead of avoiding it

36. Mephisto didn't purposely surround Rin with stuffed animals when he woke up after going crispy. Mephisto's bed is just Like That

37. Kurikara was based on a cool sword she found in a sword book, but that one was technically just a ceremonial sword. The symbol on it us a Sanskrit letter kaan (sp?) associated with Fudou Myouou

38. Kuro can communicate with normal cats and hangs out with them often

39. Sometimes Shiemi's skirt is extra fancy around the hem what's up with that? Apparently it's an optional accessory that comes with the skirts help I haven't noticed this and don't know any fashion terms in any language

40. When coloring, Katoh always tries to have an overall theme in mind ("emphasis on blue" etc) so it comes together in the end

41. Yes the twins are genetically related to Shiro because of Goro (she says they're like his nephews but I say GENETICALLY at least they'd be indistinguishable from his children)

42. Strongest mom of all the strong moms around here? Yuri! Did you SEE her give birth??

43. Are you careful about your own health Katoh-sensei? Not particularly! Her mom has had to bring her food at work sometimes! Don't do this at home kids

44. At the dating events Shura goes to, does she drink cocktails in moderation? Yeah, she probably downplays her normal drinking habits at these things. But normally she's down for just about any kind of drink

45. Lucifer just really likes oysters okay

46. How many pages of manga does Katoh draw in a day? If she's being good about self-care: three. Maximum number ever: TEN

47. Mephisto is one of those folks who can eat like a garbage compactor and never gain weight. Possibly because his body resists that sort of change the same way it resists aging etc

48. First food Rin cooked: fish burger type patty. Yukio's favorite things Rin cooks: fish simmered in soy sauce, yellowtail with daikon radish. It's fish all the way down

49: Did Rin ever get more monthly allowance from Mephisto? It doubled! He gets TWO 2000 yen bills now (rip) [T/N: That's uh, that's USD $37.26 a month or 33.10 euro]

50. Why isn't Rin more popular with the girls? He gets nervous talking to them, plus he's too oblivious to notice even if he DID have some fans

51. Why change Suguro's hair? She gets bored with keeping everything the same, and she wanted a visual representation that he was getting serious and going into kind of a training arc

52. Things Katoh pays extra attention to when drawing: trying to capture the feel of whatever she's drawing (like "that looks warm and soft" or "I bet that guy stinks" cough Lightning cough)

53: Does Rin take after Yuri more? (He's got her eyes!) Katoh tried to draw Yuri so she looks like both twins. Personality, too - Yukio has her smarts and Rin has her optimism

54: Do you ever wanna be like Mephisto? Well she'd like to be able to get away with just ANYTHING EVER, but no, let's not be like Mephisto

55. Konekomaru not only carries around a cat toy in case he meets any cats, he MAKES cat toys to carry around based on what he thinks the cats would like

56. How'd you come up with Shima? Go read the fan book!

57. Do the kids have Twitter/Instagram accounts? Rin - probably not. Konekomaru might be on some social media. Paku and Izumo are totally on instagram

58. Is there something Rin makes that you wish you could try? All of it! That's the whole idea! He's good at cooking!

59. Will we ever have a (G-rated) reveal of what ALL of Mamushi and her family's tattoos look like? Maybe! She'll think about it

60. Does Arthur have a repertoire of different hairstyles? Not really, he just puts some of it up on the top. Heck he might even have people to do that for him

61. If you wrote a shojo manga what would it be about? She'd have to do a lot of research before even coming up with a story, since there are so many style differences between the genres aside from just the subject

62. The other two of Mephisto's top 3 favorite foods: Cup ramen and....f-fried bubblegum?? Is that a THING???

63. Where do you start when drawing a character? Usually the outline of their face but if it's a complex pose/composition she'll start with whatever's in the foreground (like hands)

64. If Katoh could have a familiar, what demon would she choose? Mephisto. As the all-powerful author, she might actually be able to command him as a familiar!

66. If you swapped Yukio and Rin's relationship around what would change? not much, you'd pretty much have Rin going to the Illuminati and Yukio going to the past

67. Top 3 foods/souvenirs to try in Kyushu? Well she doesn't know what’s good CURRENTLY but when she was there she always used to like burdock tempura udon, hakata torimon (a kind of manju with white bean paste inside), and Chikae style cod roe. today I learned Katoh went to high school in Kyushu

68. Katoh listens to music a lot while she's storyboarding, then when she and the assistants are all drawing and inking they put various videos/movies and stuff on in the background

69. For all his hitting on girls, is Shima actually popular with the ladies at all? He's got enough girls in his life that he probably COULD find a girlfriend if he really wanted, but the double agent thing tends to get in the way. He still wouldn't be as popular as Yukio though (side thought/translator’s note: Shima would be proud of being number 69.)

70. Katoh has the ending planned out in a big-picture way, but there are still a few details here and there that she's fretting over

71. It's cute when the boys put their ties over their shoulders when they're working on something! Where'd that come from? She just figured a tie might get in the way and that seemed like a realistic way to get it out of the way

72. Looks like Yukio is getting some facial hair! What about Rin? They're both about the age for it, but maybe Rin can't grow a beard yet. Maybe a little peach fuzz here and there

73. Katoh's favorite blue exorcist merch? There were some exorcist licenses a while back, and the exorcist pins. Basically it's really cool that these little accessories she drew ACTUALLY EXIST NOW, LIKE YOU CAN HOLD THEM IN YOUR HANDS

74. Okay realtalk how long do we have left, I don't want the series to end yet? We're solidly in the second half by now but it's not, like, ABOUT to end yet

75. Katoh would be a Knight meister, based on what characters she likes to play in games and such

76. How many people in the whole exorcism cram school? More than you think! She doesn't give a number but apparently licensed exorcists also attend classes for new meisters, etc, so there's a wide age range attending

77. How's Arthur feel about, like, studying Taming on the way to becoming Paladin? He's at least mostly accepted that you have to use demons to fight demons effectively

78. Konekomaru started wearing glasses in his first year of middle school, so like 7th grade (more recent than I thought!) He has one spare pair, in contrast to Yukio lol

79. Katoh's current obsessions? Ghost/scary stories! She's even been going to live readings of them recently

80. Media Katoh consumes for inspiration? A wide range of foreign teen drama, horror/suspense, shojo manga, light novels, anime, etc. Special focus on things where two boys are in conflict or there are brothers involved

81. If they weren't exorcists what jobs would they have? Rin - chef. Yukio - doctor. Shiemi - uh, florist?

82. Inspiration for the design of True Cross Town? Katoh and her assistants gathered up a bunch of references, picked out stuff they felt matched the tone, and mashed them all up together

83. Did you use any references etc for the school/exorcist uniforms? She says she probably should have but she just kind of made them up before publication

84. Favorite part of drawing? For color pages, picking out a color scheme. For black and white, drawing in all the little details (though she doesn't always get time to lately)

85. Once again confirms the demon kings' weird hair is a representation of their horns. ADDS THAT PEOPLE WHO CAN'T SEE DEMONS CAN'T SEE THE WEIRD HAIR

86. Now that Yukio's at the Illuminati, where's he gonna get his Jump SQ and spare glasses? Well he probably never planned to stay for long, but hey it's a big ship and they might have an optometrist and/or newsstand there

87. Do you base the demon characters on any references etc? Not really, she just gets a general idea of popular demon designs and then makes up her own in her own style

88. Merchandise Katoh personally wants to have made: stuff that an adult could just use in their day to day life. Also, it's not gonna happen, but if her favorite figure brand made AoEx figures she could die happy

89. If Beelzebub's host body was a beautiful woman, how would Shima react? Would the womanizing win out over the bug phobia? Katoh replies that Shima would probably just faint from being near a girl that pretty, before the bugs even got involved

90. Will the twins ever get to smile and eat dinner together again?? We'll just have to wait and see!

91. What do you check at a "scenario check"? what's a scenario check man I dunno They check for people being out of character or the setting feeling off. They had a lot of these checks for the anime, but they also do them for the drama CD, games, and all that other stuff where multiple authors are involved

92. Why does Shura use baldy as an insult for people who are clearly not bald? She feels like they have some kind of metaphorical, mental kind of "baldness" and she's calling them out on it. Whatever that means

93. After Blue Exorcist ends, what do you want to draw next? She has SO MANY IDEAS, SO MANY

94. Did Katoh make up the Shinto chants that, for example, Izumo used against Gedouin? They're assembled from bits of actual Shinto prayers according to what feels right in the scene

95. Yukio reads the Jump SQ, right, and, just hear me out here, he likes gag manga, right? Does this mean he reads Salaryman Yukio? It's something he would read, but let's say that in the AoEx universe there's just a very similar manga that he finds oddly relatable

96. What do Yukio and Shima do in their free time on the Dominus Liminus? oh my god you guys this ship has so many amenities. Yukio probably spends time reading in the library, which they totally have. There's also, like, a gym, and a movie theater, and a THEATER theater, all of which are free. Shima probably hangs out at the pool (!) and goes to the movies, and hits on illuminati girls, lol

97. Easiest character to draw? The ones with boring simple hair, lol. Lightning gets an honorable mention for ALSO not having eyes in most shots, but Rin wins--he was specifically designed to be easy for Katoh to draw because that's what you want in your main character

98. How do demons understand gender? They just possess whatever feels like the best match to how they feel in Gehenna, whether that's a man, or a woman, or a rat, or whatever

99. Where do you start when you're coming up with a story? She starts with character design and how the characters relate to each other. Currently she's just continuing an existing story, so she works on splitting up the overall plot into episodes and fleshing it out with scenes and information about characters

100. When do you feel most happy? She honestly feels like she lives a very happy life overall. Mentions noticing a lot of little things, like how nice her cats' heads smell when she cuddles them or taking a nice cold refreshing drink of water. There's happiness in everything. aww.

#blue exorcist #interview #Ao no Exorcist #translation

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richincolor · 4 years ago

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New Releases for the Week of May 3, 2021

It's great to see so many new books hitting the shelves this week. I know I've been waiting for several of these and am happy to be able to finally read them.

The Ones We’re Meant to Find by Joan He Roaring Brook

Cee has been trapped on an abandoned island for three years without any recollection of how she arrived, or memories from her life prior. All she knows is that somewhere out there, beyond the horizon, she has a sister named Kay. Determined to find her, Cee devotes her days to building a boat from junk parts scavenged inland, doing everything in her power to survive until the day she gets off the island and reunites with her sister.

In a world apart, 16-year-old STEM prodigy Kasey Mizuhara is also living a life of isolation. The eco-city she calls home is one of eight levitating around the world, built for people who protected the planet―and now need protecting from it. With natural disasters on the rise due to climate change, eco-cities provide clean air, water, and shelter. Their residents, in exchange, must spend at least a third of their time in stasis pods, conducting business virtually whenever possible to reduce their environmental footprint. While Kasey, an introvert and loner, doesn’t mind the lifestyle, her sister Celia hated it. Popular and lovable, Celia much preferred the outside world. But no one could have predicted that Celia would take a boat out to sea, never to return.

Now it’s been three months since Celia’s disappearance, and Kasey has given up hope. Logic says that her sister must be dead. But as the public decries her stance, she starts to second guess herself and decides to retrace Celia’s last steps. Where they’ll lead her, she does not know. Her sister was full of secrets. But Kasey has a secret of her own. — Cover image and summary via Goodreads

Meet Cute Diary by Emery Lee Quill Tree Books

Noah Ramirez thinks he’s an expert on romance. He has to be for his popular blog, the Meet Cute Diary, a collection of trans happily ever afters. There’s just one problem—all the stories are fake. What started as the fantasies of a trans boy afraid to step out of the closet has grown into a beacon of hope for trans readers across the globe.

When a troll exposes the blog as fiction, Noah’s world unravels. The only way to save the Diary is to convince everyone that the stories are true, but he doesn’t have any proof. Then Drew walks into Noah’s life, and the pieces fall into place: Drew is willing to fake-date Noah to save the Diary. But when Noah’s feelings grow beyond their staged romance, he realizes that dating in real life isn’t quite the same as finding love on the page.

In this charming novel by Emery Lee, Noah will have to choose between following his own rules for love or discovering that the most romantic endings are the ones that go off script. — Cover image and summary via Goodreads

They Better Call Me Sugar: My Journey from the Hood to the Hardwood by Sugar Rodgers Black Sheep

Growing up in dire poverty in Suffolk, Virginia, Sugar (born Ta’Shauna) Rodgers never imagined that she would become an all-star player in the WNBA (Women’s National Basketball Association). Both of her siblings were in and out of prison throughout much of her childhood and shootings in her neighborhood were commonplace. For Sugar this was just a fact of life.

While academics wasn’t a high priority for Sugar and many of her friends, athletics always played a prominent role. She mastered her three-point shot on a net her brother put up just outside their home, eventually becoming so good that she could hustle local drug dealers out of money in one-on-one contests.

With the love and support of her family and friends, Sugar’s performance on her high school basketball team led to her recruitment by the Georgetown Hoyas, and her eventual draft into the WNBA in 2013 by the Minnesota Lynx (who won the WNBA Finals in Sugar’s first year). The first of her family to attend college, Sugar speaks of her struggles both academically and as an athlete with raw honesty.

Sugar’s road to a successful career as a professional basketball player is fraught with sadness and death–including her mother’s death when she’s fourteen, which leaves Sugar essentially homeless. Throughout it all, Sugar clings to basketball as a way to keep herself focused and sane.

And now Sugar shares her story as a message of hope and inspiration for young girls and boys everywhere, but especially those growing up in economically challenging conditions. Never sugarcoating her life experiences, she delivers a powerful message of discipline, perseverance, and always believing in oneself. — Cover image and summary via Goodreads

Excuse Me While I Ugly Cry by Joya Goffney HarperTeen

Quinn keeps lists of everything—from the days she’s ugly cried, to “Things That I Would Never Admit Out Loud,” to all the boys she’d like to kiss. Her lists keep her sane. By writing her fears on paper, she never has to face them in real life. That is, until her journal goes missing…

An anonymous account posts one of her lists on Instagram for the whole school to see and blackmails her into facing seven of her greatest fears, or else her entire journal will go public. Quinn doesn’t know who to trust. Desperate, she teams up with Carter Bennett—the last known person to have her journal—in a race against time to track down the blackmailer.

Together, they journey through everything Quinn’s been too afraid to face, and along the way, Quinn finds the courage to be honest, to live in the moment, and to fall in love. — Cover image and summary via Goodreads

Hurricane Summer by Asha Bromfield Wednesday Books

Tilla has spent her entire life trying to make her father love her. But every six months, he leaves their family and returns to his true home: the island of Jamaica.

When Tilla’s mother tells her she’ll be spending the summer on the island, Tilla dreads the idea of seeing him again, but longs to discover what life in Jamaica has always held for him.

In an unexpected turn of events, Tilla is forced to face the storm that unravels in her own life as she learns about the dark secrets that lie beyond the veil of paradise—all in the midst of an impending hurricane.

Hurricane Summer is a powerful coming of age story that deals with colorism, classism, young love, the father-daughter dynamic—and what it means to discover your own voice in the center of complete destruction. — Cover image and summary via Goodreads

Indivisible by Daniel Aleman Little, Brown Books for Young Readers

There is a word Mateo Garcia and his younger sister Sophie have been taught to fear for as long as they can remember: deportation. Over the past few years, however, the fear that their undocumented immigrant parents could be sent back to Mexico has started to fade to the back of their minds. And why wouldn’t it, when their Ma and Pa have been in the United States for so long, they have American-born children, and they’re hard workers and good neighbors?

When two ICE agents come asking for Pa, the Garcia family realizes that the lives they’ve built are about to come crumbling down. And when Mateo returns from school one day to find that his parents have been taken, he’ll have to come to terms with the fact that his family’s worst nightmare has become a reality.

With his Ma and Pa being held in separate detention centers, Mateo must learn how to look after his sister and himself. The choices Mateo makes, and the people he turns to for help, might reunite his family… or tear them apart for good. With his parents’ fate and his own future hanging in the balance, Mateo must figure out who he is and what he is capable of, even as he’s forced to question what it means to be an American teenager in a country that rejects his own mom and dad. — Cover art and summary via Goodreads

Counting Down with You by Tashie Bhuiyan Inkyard Press

Karina Ahmed has a plan. Keep her head down, get through high school without a fuss, and follow her parents’ rules—even if it means sacrificing her dreams. When her parents go abroad to Bangladesh for four weeks, Karina expects some peace and quiet. Instead, one simple lie unravels everything.

Karina is my girlfriend.

Tutoring the school’s resident bad boy was already crossing a line. Pretending to date him? Out of the question. But Ace Clyde does everything right—he brings her coffee in the mornings, impresses her friends without trying, and even promises to buy her a dozen books (a week) if she goes along with his fake-dating facade. Though Karina agrees, she can’t help but start counting down the days until her parents come back.

T-minus twenty-eight days until everything returns to normal—but what if Karina no longer wants it to? — Cover image and summary via Goodreads

All Kinds of Other by James Sie Quill Tree Books

In this tender, nuanced coming-of-age love story, two boys—one who is cis and one who is trans—have been guarding their hearts to protect themselves, until their feelings for each other give them a reason to stand up to their fears.

Two boys are starting at a new school.

Jules is just figuring out what it means to be gay and hasn’t totally decided whether he wants to be out at his new school. His parents and friends have all kinds of opinions, but for his part, Jules just wants to make the basketball team and keep his head down.

Jack is trying to start over after a best friend break-up. He followed his actor father clear across the country to LA, but he’s also totally ready to leave his past behind. Maybe this new school where no one knows him is exactly what he needs.

When the two boys meet, the sparks are undeniable. But then a video surfaces linking Jack to a pair of popular transgender vloggers, and the revelations about Jack’s past thrust both Jack and Jules into the spotlight they’ve been trying to avoid. Suddenly both boys have a choice to make—between lying low where it’s easier or following their hearts. — Cover image and summary via Goodreads

Luck of the Titanic by Stacey Lee G.P. Putnam's Sons Books for Young Readers

Southampton, 1912: Seventeen-year-old British-Chinese Valora Luck has quit her job and smuggled herself aboard the Titanic with two goals in mind: to reunite with her twin brother Jamie--her only family now that both their parents are dead--and to convince a part-owner of the Ringling Brothers Circus to take the twins on as acrobats. Quick-thinking Val talks her way into opulent firstclass accommodations and finds Jamie with a group of fellow Chinese laborers in third class. But in the rigidly stratified world of the luxury liner, Val's ruse can only last so long, and after two long years apart, it's unclear if Jamie even wants the life Val proposes. Then, one moonless night in the North Atlantic, the unthinkable happens--the supposedly unsinkable ship is dealt a fatal blow--and Val and her companions suddenly find themselves in a race to survive.

Stacey Lee, master of historical fiction, brings a fresh perspective to an infamous tragedy, loosely inspired by the recently uncovered account of six Titanic survivors of Chinese descent.

#new releases #YALit

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copperpieceharlot · 4 years ago

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Bud I’m sorry to swing into your inbox uninvited like this but my soul is having an OOTS renaissance thanks to your content in the tag and did you say Leverage AU

haha holy SHIT this got Long. but yes. i’ve been. Thinking. (also literally Never feel like you have to apologize for sending me messages. i was Hoping someone would ask me about this. now i have an Excuse to share EVERYTHING ive written abt it :3)

Obviously, Roy is the leader/brains of the outfit. He grew up having some Strong Opinions abt what’s Legal versus what’s Right due to tragic backstory involving the death of his little brother which was definitely SOMEONE’S fault for negligence but since there technically wasn’t any illegal behavior, there were no consequences for it. Also he’s still angry at his dad bc he thinks his dad is also partly culpable (and also also just a dick). He’s the Moral Backbone of the team (alongside Durkon, more on that later) in basically the same way Nate was in og Leverage. He’s actually not the best at figuring out what people want (that’s Haley and, shockingly, occasionally Elan), but once he has that info, he is the absolute best at figuring out the ideal plan of attack to use in any given case.

Haley is still a thief. I mean she maps to Parker almost PERFECTLY. Her dad was a thief & a conman, her mom wasn’t but knew about it and mostly accepted it, but she died tragically in a mugging gone wrong or smth, which made Ian crank the paranoia WAY up and taught Haley to do the same in the name of “safety”. Let’s keep the “Ian is in Trouble and Haley needs money, Fast” which is why she signs on to the first job in the first place. She’s less acrobatic than Parker, tending towards finding (or making) weak spots in security, but she can still make a tumble check when she needs to.

Elan is the grifter who is somehow an Idiot but also not???? It baffles everyone. When he’s playing a part for a con, he’s FLAWLESS, but then the rest of the time he’s just. No Thoughts Head Empty. He probably gets lured in initially because he’s decided to try his hand at being part of a full team, rather than the two-man cons he’s been running that invariably end w his partner conning him as well and stealing half of his take. Also he likes the idea of being Crime Friends. He’s that tweet where it’s like, Roy: “after the heist is over, we split up and never communicate again” / Elan: [about to unveil his Crime Buddies Forever Friendship Quilt Puppets]: “never?”

Vaarsuvius is the hacker/gadget person. They have a Vaguely Snobby Yet Unidentifiable accent, dyed(?) purple hair (nobody has ever seen their roots) and nobody knows who they “really” are or where they came from, but they’re good at what they do so everyone just accepts the mystery. They probably got suckered into the team by their initial employer (who I’ll get to Eventually, lol) framing it as a challenge to their intellect, like, “oh, I see, you’re not smart enough to make this team work for you...” to which they were like Fucking Watch Me and also melted his computer. Anyways. They are joined (digitally) by their Intrepid Friend And Co-Conspirator (his words, not theirs), a fellow hacker known only as Blackwing, or, on certain forums, Blackwing_Bird. (In the first season, V only occasionally references him when saying they’re “calling in extra help” or smth for a particularly complex hack job. He starts showing up a little more in s2 and eventually by the start of s4 is a regular & established presence, but only appears as actions in a computer interface or output.) Elan is convinced he’s an AI, Belkar doesn’t think he actually exists, Haley pretends she doesn’t think he exists, and Durkon and Roy try not to think about it too hard, as long as B and V still get the job done.

Belkar is the hitter. He is on the team bc their initial employer got him out of jail for it. He doesn’t have a tragic backstory, he just likes doing violent crimes. As the series progresses, he grows some empathy & stuff, but really only for people who actually deserve it. Assholes still get decked. It’s all very touching. (Also he has dwarfism caused by achondroplasia. It doesn’t actually bother him and is useful in fights bc his opponents frequently have no fucking clue how to approach him, but he likes Pretending to take offense at stupid things just to see how far he can go with it.)

Aaaand last but not least, Durkon is the least involved member of the team. He’s actually a career criminal and Roy’s mentor, and wasn’t a member of the initial team that [redacted, I’ll tell you later, PROMISE] put together for a couple of reasons, the main one being that he’s Officially retired in order to spend more time with his family, which consists of his mom, his friend (not girlfriend) Hilgya, baby Kudzu, and a truly stunning number of aunts, uncles, and cousins. Roy frequently calls or visits him for advice and he Occasionally shows up to help out on local jobs, but generally he avoids doing crime if he can (as part of a deal with Hilgya, who is also a career criminal; basically, they’ve both cut back on the crime in order to provide a more stable home environment for Kudzu. But sometimes, you gotta do a little crime, and in those cases, Sigdi enjoys spending time w her grandson.)

NOW. THE BIG REVEAL YOU’VE BEEN WAITING FOR. Who got the team together in the first place?!

The answer: Lord Shojo (or whatever Normal Person Name you want to assign him). Now this is where it gets tricky: he had them do a thing that they thought was good, THEN they thought it was BAD, but then when they confronted him he revealed that it Appearing to be bad was actually a test of character and would they consider working as basically internal investigators for him? But then he had a heart attack, so, rip. But THEN it turned out that he’d left them a bunch of money anyway and they were all feeling kind of Inspired so they formed the Order of the Stick, LLC (which, no, i am not coming up with a new name, actually, because I just don’t care. someone else can come up w a justification for that name, tho, i’m sure it’s possible). Also Miko was there and was unhappy abt their actions, and also their general existence.

Moving on. Villains!

Redcloak is the Sterling replacement, because that DEEPLY amuses me.

Xykon is a season-long main villain, probably one that Redcloak finds himself working for but then “teams up with” (read: blackmails) the Order to bring him down bc even Redcloak finds Xykon distasteful. That’s season 3, let’s say.

Tarquin is another season villain, say season 2. Nale probably shows up pretty early in s1, actually, as another recurring antagonist like Sterling but uh. Less good at it. Anyways the s2 final 3 eps deal with them (accidentally) discovering that Tarquin runs some Evil Empire Company, then trying to outplay him and take him down. Idk if Nale still dies in this version tbh.

Tsukiko is a one-off s1 villain who returns briefly in s4 alongside Miko, who has gone well and truly off the rails.

Season 1 finale has to do w Roy finally getting Vengeance for his little brother.

The vampire squad is the s4 finale villain who do smth terrible to Durkon and then get the Mother Of All Revenge served up to them by the Order.

I envision the show as being 5 seasons (like og Leverage) but I’m not going to sketch out s5 because I think it should be based off whatever happens in the current story arc, possibly involving some legacy of the OotSquiggle.

Other stuff!

The Order of the Squiggle is a legendary criminal team from the 60s who stole a BUNCH of famous shit & then proceeded to legendarily implode. This has no bearing on the plot I’ve sketched out, I just think it’s fun.

The Sapphire Guard members should probably be reworked as FBI. I don’t care about most of them but I do think that Lien and O-Chul could be like, FBI agents who Choose to look the other way while the Order does their very-much-not-legal-but-still-fair Justice Crime, and maybe even help them out on occasion.

So, the Final season-by-season outline, based on everything I’ve written so far:

s1 e1: getting the team together, doing a con for Shojo, then at the end he dies and the gang is like “dang what now?" and intend to split up except then they Don’t.

mid-s1: Nale shows up and tries to trick the Order, but then gets beat like a drum.

late s1: Tsukiko is an underling of the Villain Of The Week, winds up in police custody. But She’ll Be Back.

s1 finale: Roy’s Vengeance: The Vengeaning. also we meet Redcloak as an antagonist.

s2 e1: the truth abt Haley’s father comes out

early s2: The Two Live Crews Job but it’s the Order vs the Linear Guild and the Linear Guild ARE all bad guys.

mid-s2: Redcloak returns. ugh.

late s2: the sapphire guard FBI makes its first appearance, hello O-Chul and Lien.

s2 pre-finale: once again they’re in conflict w Nale over smth, he spends the whole episodes making Cryptic Remarks, they basically beat him (like a drum!) but then the stinger at the end is that Tarquin reveals himself and Elan is like “Dad?!”, roll credits.

s2 finale, part 1: Elan is hanging out w Tarquin bc he’s DEEP in Denial, the Rest of the team tries to take Tarquin down, but it doesn’t work.

s2 finale, part 2: Elan finally gets a clue and they manage to beat Tarquin. still haven’t decided if Nale dies or not, but I’m leaning towards yes. also they rescue Haley’s dad.

s3 e1: fuck dude idk.

early s3: Redcloak shows up, AGAIN, everyone groans. he has blackmail on them, he wants them to take Xykon down.

mid s3: The Rashomon Job but it’s about stealing the Talisman of Dorukan and it turns out that Nale was there too (“oh!” Elan says. “I was wondering why I looked so weird in all those mirrors! But it wasn’t my reflection, it was Nale’s!” “Sweetie, that wasn’t Nale’s reflection,” says Haley. “Huh,” says Elan, “so the mirrors were broken?”, cue eye rolling from everyone else.), and the Successful thief was Hilgya, who’d nabbed it from the owner before it even went on display.

s3 finale: they beat Xykon, actually factually, because he deserves to get his ass Thoroughly kicked, even if only in AU form. Lien and O-Chul are there, so are some other less helpful FBI people. There’s a bit where O-Chul Exact Wordses his way out of telling his superiors about the Order’s less legal activities without technically lying. King shit.

s4 e1: doesn’t really matter. maybe smth to do w some legacy of Tarquin’s company to set up the drama w Malack & Durkon later.

early s4: Durkon gets SENT TO PRISON. Malack approaches the Order abt this because sure they have Different Ethics but they’re still Friends. (Roy is surprised and a little hurt that he’s never heard of Malack, but he ignores that in favor of Let’s Get Whatever Fuckers Did This To Our Friend.)

immediately after that: Miko and Tsukiko return as a Team, preventing the Order from working on the Durkon situation

mid s4: Redcloak makes another unexpected & unwelcome appearance but he’s maybe a little less of a dick? the Order collaborates with Malack & his Crime Buddies (hello, Vector Legion) to pull one over on him tho, because “less of a dick” does not mean “a pleasant or decent person”, and also he was mean abt Durkon being in jail, so he totally deserved it. he still gets whatever he wanted tho, just takes a blow to his pride. also prevents the Order from helping Durkon. they’re having a LOT of setbacks wonder why that could be, not to make sure the season fills its whole length or anything, no sirree

s4 finale: something something taking down the organization, headed by Hel (yes that’s her real name), which framed Durkon for their Big Crime. Durkon goes free and Extra Firmly retires, For Good, He Swears, but says he “met someone new” who might be an asset.

s5 e1: minrah joins the team! and the episode is set in like, somewhere really snowy. that’s all i got.

the rest of s5: don’t know, don’t care, it’s open-ended until the comic finishes up.

#mine #ask #corvidcorgi #order of the stick #oots #leverage #leverage au #oots au #au #outline #haha this thing clocks in at 1.9k words because i am LITERALLY incapable of shutting up #hope u enjoy it bc i spent Way Too Much Mental Effort mapping out how the OotS plotlines might play out in a leverage setting #and then promptly ignored Most of that in favor of making it funnier & dumber & more villain-of-the-week #(bc lbr the comic is Good but it's got an overarching plot form that the Leverage story style does Not jive with)#i'm not tagging all these characters lol

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fanmoose12 · 4 years ago

Text

Petra was a nice girl. Truth be told, she was very nice. Delicate and petite, soft-spoken and graceful, Levi felt like he could have easily fallen in love with her.

However, she had one small, but very significant flaw – Kenny was the one who had set them up on a date. Even if Levi liked her, even if she definitely seemed like his type, he refused to have a second date. Maybe, she was nice and pretty, but Levi couldn’t shake the feeling that introducing them to one another was one of Kenny’s numerous schemes, that his uncle once again tried to somehow make a fool out of him.

“Why don’t you find yourself someone, Levi?” Kenny would always ask him. “Maybe, some pretty girl will finally make that ugly scowl of yours disappear! And if you find someone rich and influential, it would even elevate your status!”

“Yeah, great advice,” Levi would always sneer back. “From a lifelong bachelor.”

Sitting in a small café next to Petra, listening to her talk about her work, Levi couldn’t stop imagining the moment, when he would return from his date and tell Kenny to just fuck off already and leave him, and more importantly, his personal life alone.

On his way back to the office he thought of dozens different curses and obscenities to yell at his uncle. But the moment he crossed the threshold to his cabinet, the moment he met his mother’s hopeful gaze, Levi’s anger momentarily disappeared.

“How was your date, honey?” she asked with a smile.

Looking at that smile, Levi felt like the biggest asshole in the world. Unlike Kenny, his mother genuinely worried about him. She feared that he was feeling lonely and she wanted for him to find someone, to fall in love and be happy.

And even though, Levi didn’t feel lonely at all, the thought of disappointing his mother, of worrying her, made Levi regret his actions. Maybe, he shouldn’t have rejected Petra? Maybe, he should have agreed to a second date? Maybe, he should at least try to fall in love?

But no, Levi thought. If he started to date Petra, or any of the other girls Kenny had tried to set him up with, he would admit that his uncle was right. There was no way Levi could ever do that. And, besides, he didn’t have time for a relationship. As a vice-president of Kenny’s company, Levi was a very busy man. Especially, since his uncle liked to damp all the work on him. So no, relationship definitely wasn’t for him.

“It was fine, but there wouldn’t be a second date,” Levi finally replied.

Kuchel’s expression immediately changed. Her eyes filled with sadness and the corners of her mouth slid down.

“Why?” she asked quietly. “You didn’t like that girl?”

There wasn’t nothing wrong with her, relationships just aren’t my thing, Levi almost said. But he knew that those words would upset his mother even more. Suddenly, an idea popped up in his mind. It was stupid, completely ridiculous, but. It could work. And it certainly would make his mother happy. So before he could stop himself, Levi said:

“There wasn’t nothing wrong with that girl, mom. I’m just already dating someone else.”

“Oh?” Kuchel was definitely surprised by this revelation, but she quickly overcame her shock. A big, happy smile appeared on her lips and she clasped her hands in delight. “Levi, really? You found someone? Why didn’t you tell us before?”

“I didn’t want to jinx it,” he lowered his head, trying to avoid his mother’s gaze. He felt like a jerk for lying to her, but seeing her joy, Levi almost felt like it was worth it.

“Honey, I want to meet them so much! Can you invite them over for dinner? I’m sure uncle Kenny wants to meet your significant other as well!”

Shit, Levi immediately wanted to take his words back. But it was too late. So he nodded, hoping that his mother would mistake his panic for shyness. “I don’t know if she’ll agree, but I’ll try.”

“Great!” Levi didn’t remember the last time when his mother smiled so widely. “Then I’ll start organizing the dinner right away! Oh, I’m so happy, Levi!” she soundly kissed him on a cheek and then, still smiling happily, she left his office.

As soon as the door closed after her, Levi shakily exhaled. What kind of a mess he just got himself into?

He went to his desk and turned on his computer, opening the craiglist. It was possible to find any kind of weird shit there. And weird shit was exactly what Levi needed.

Almost an hour later, when Levi’s eyes started to burn from the amount of stupid ads he had read, he found it. The perfect ad, which was weirdly offering exactly what Levi needed.

Do you have homophobic or otherwise annoying relatives? Are they inviting you to yet another family event, and so you desperately want to piss them off? Then I’m just the person you need ;)

After reading that description, Levi clicked on the ad without hesitation.

Hi, I’m Hange Zoe, and I have an incredible offer for those of you, who are tired of your irritating relatives! Just for a small fee, I can accompany you to any kind of event (weddings, birthdays, various holidays) and make sure to annoy the hell out of your family! If you dislike your parents, aunts, uncles or anyone else and want them to hate you, then don’t hesitate! Call me and I’ll be your ‘plus one’ that they will never forget!

Levi immediately added their number to his phone. However, before he dialed it, he hesitated, rereading the ad one more time. Was he really going to do it, he wondered, as he stared at the screen. Was he going to call some stranger and ask them to pretend to be his girlfriend? Just because he wanted Kenny to leave him alone? Just because he didn’t want to upset his mother?

Yes, Levi decided finally. No matter how ridiculous it sounded, it was a good plan. He’d pretend to be in love with this girl for a month or so, and then he would ‘break up’ with her. He’d feign a heart-break, act sad and depressed, and everyone would leave him alone. Not for long, Levi knew that, but just enough for him to catch a break.

It is a good plan, Levi reminded himself before taking a deep breath and dialing that number.

After long five beeps, his call was answered.

“Hello?” a deep woman’s voice said. It was husky and confused, although its owner had just woken up. Levi glanced up at a clock – it was 4pm. She couldn’t really be sleeping at this time of day, right? “I’m sorry, but do I know you?”

“Um, no, I… I’ve found your ad. O-on the internet,” damn it, Levi had never felt so embarrassed before.

“Oh, right!” the woman laughed. “You need me to pretend to be your girlfriend, huh?”

“Something like that, yes, but could we discuss the details in person?”

“Sure! I’m free this evening, so we can meet,” she said. “Where do you live?”

“Just text me the address of some coffee shop near your house. I’ll be there in an hour.”

“Alright! And how do I recognize you?”

“I’ll be wearing a black shirt and pants.”

“Great!” the woman chuckled again. “Then I’ll see you in an hour!”

And before Levi could say anything else, she ended the call.

He stared at his phone screen for a long moment. Not for the first time he wondered what the fuck he was doing. But then he received a message, containing the address of a coffee shop. Signing, Levi shook his head. It was a stupid idea, but it could work. He just had to remember that.

***

Levi was sitting in that stupid café for almost half an hour. He had finished two cups of tea already. Maybe, he entered the wrong café? He checked his phone for the tenth time, but, no, the address was definitely correct. So where the fuck was that shithead, who had agreed to meet with him?

Another ten minutes passed, and Levi already prepared to just get up and leave, but then somebody joined him at his table. It was a young woman, probably in her mid-twenties. Her brown hair was pulled up in a messy ponytail and her big glasses were almost slipping from her nose. So that was Hange Zoe? Levi would need to pretend to date that for a whole month?

Suddenly, his idea didn’t seem so good anymore.

“Hi!” the woman energetically waved her hand. “You’re the guy, who is looking for a fake girlfriend, right? I’m Hange Zoe,” she outstretched her palm towards him.

“I know your name,” Levi said, staring at her hand with slight disgust. There were black smudges on it. He would rather die than shake it. “You’ve included it in the ad.”

“Oh, right!” she laughed boisterously. Levi felt a headache forming. “And what is your name?”

“Levi Ackerman,” he answered, making no move to shake her hand.

The woman hummed and lowered her hand, seemingly undisturbed by his apparent rudeness. “It’s nice to meet you, Levi!” she smiled widely. Was she always so annoyingly friendly, Levi wondered. “So what kind of event do you need me for? Wedding, birthday or—”

“Nothing of the sort,” he interrupted. “Truth be told, I have a rather unorthodox situation.”

“Oh?” Hange raised an eyebrow. “Do you need me to accompany you to the funeral or—”

“No!” Levi immediately answered. “Fuck, of course, no. I…” he took a deep breath, thinking how to say it. Maybe, he should explain everything first. “My uncle always sets me up with people, and I’m sick of it. I can’t just tell him to fuck off, because it’ll upset my mother, so… I want you to pretend to be my girlfriend for a month. It won’t require a lot of work!” Levi assured her. “Every Friday we have family dinner, and you’ll just have to come there with me.”

“And that’s all?”

“Um, no…” Levi paused. “I also need you… to move in with me…”

“What?!” Hange cried out, obviously shocked.

“I know how it sounds! But I promise I’m not some kind of a weirdo,” although, that was still open for a debate. He was asking a stranger to be his girlfriend, after all. “My uncle is just very nosy. And he won’t believe that my relationship is serious, if I don’t start living with you. We won’t be sharing a room or anything of the sort!” Levi added, seeing hesitation on her face. “And I’ll pay you as much you want!”

“I’m…” Hange trailed off, picking at her fingernails. “I admit your offer does sound a little bit weird. I’m willing to agree to it, but I need to talk with my roommate first. We share the rent, and if I’m not going to pay my part for a whole month…”

“I’ll pay your part!” Levi hastily offered. “And your roommate’s part as well!”

“Wow,” Hange chuckled. “You’re either crazy rich or really desperate.”

“I’m both,” Levi sighed.

“Fine, I agree then,” Levi couldn’t believe how relieved those words made him. “But I do have to warn you – I’m a scientist and tend to work at odd hours.”

“I don’t care about that,” Levi was suffering from insomnia himself, so a little noise at night wouldn’t disturb him.

“Alright…” Hange trailed off with a hesitant look on her face. “But there is another thing. My laboratory exploded a couple of months ago, that’s why I posted that ad – I’m trying to gather some money for a new one. So sometimes I perform experiments at home. Nothing dangerous!” she quickly assured Levi. “There won’t be any explosions, I swear! And no toxic chemicals too! Most days, I’m just watching my two mice, and I won’t be dissecting them in any foreseeable future, but yeah… I still need to study them.”

“It’s fine,” Levi waved his hand. Of course, he would have preferred to pretend to date someone more ordinary, but it wasn’t like he had a lot of choices. “As long as you don’t destroy my apartment, I don’t care what you do.”

“Excellent!” Hange beamed. “And the last thing,” Christ, there was another thing? “My roommate is also my lab partner, so can he sometimes come to visit me? To help with my experiments?”

“Alright,” Levi sighed. “But that’s everything you need, right?”

“Of course! And all I have to do is to live in your apartment and come with you to family dinner each Friday?”

“Pretty much.”

“Then that’s a deal!”

“Great,” Levi wasn’t feeling as happy as his ‘girlfriend’, but he, too, was satisfied with their arrangement. “If we discussed everything, then I must go. I’ll text you my address later. You can bring your things tomorrow.”

“Cool! Then I’ll see you tomorrow!”

***

The next morning, Levi’s breakfast was interrupted by a very loud, and very insisting knocking.

And there goes my hope for a peaceful day, he mentally complained.

He walked up the door and looked in the peephole. At the other side, he saw a large box.

“It’s me, Hange!” the box exclaimed.

Levi sighed. He almost forgot that she agreed to bring her things today. He opened the door, and Hange walked in, a man, who carried an even bigger box, trailing after her.

“Good morning!” she was as cheerful as yesterday. Levi feared it was her constant state. “I hope you don’t mind that I brought my friend Moblit? He’s the roommate I told you about.”

“Nice to meet you,” the man put the box down and smiled at Levi.

He absentmindedly nodded, not sparing that Moblit another glance. He had no interest in meeting Hange’s friends. They weren’t actually dating.

“How much shit did you bring with you?” he asked Hange.

“There are two more boxes in the car,” Moblit answered for her.

“Alright,” Levi nodded. “Then start unpacking all of your stuff, your room is at the end of that hallway,” he pointed in that direction. “I’ll bring the rest with your friend.”

“Great, thank you, baby!” Hange said cheekily. She winked at Levi, before turning around and beginning to inspect his apartment.

Levi stared after her for a moment. His plan was starting to look worse and worse with each passing minute.

***

“So, you’re not some kind of a murderer, right?” Moblit asked, while they were climbing the stairs, each of them carrying a box with Hange’s belongings.

“I’m not, don’t worry.”

“Oh, that’s good!” Moblit chuckled in relief. “Although, I do have to warn you – sometimes Hange gets too… intense.”

“Yeah, no shit,” Levi rolled his eyes. It was hard to miss that part of his ‘girlfriend’s’ personality.

***

“So,” Hange asked after she finished unpacking and said goodbye to Moblit. “What do I do now? Do I just sit around or do you need me for something?”

“Now, you’re going to show me your wardrobe. If you’re going to be my girlfriend, you’ll need something more presentable that this,” Levi’s eyes were filled with disgust, as he looked at Hange’s oversized t-shirt and her dirty, torn jeans.

“Mm, if you’re hoping to find something better,” Hange chuckled. “Then I’m afraid you’ll be disappointed.”

Levi cursed under his breath. His new girlfriend was proving to be much more troublesome than he expected. “Get ready then. We’ll go shopping. I can’t let you walk around, wearing such trash.”

Shopping with Hange was even more difficult than Levi expected. As though trying to annoy him, in each shop Hange picked the ugliest, most outrageous outfits she could find. Levi couldn’t quite understand if she just wanted to irritate him, or did she actually like those clothes. Somehow, he felt like the latter was true.

In the end, after browsing through ten different shops, Levi managed to buy Hange a couple of normal jeans, a few shirts and hoodies. He also picked a few suits for her, because Levi quickly understood that dresses and skirts weren’t Hange’s thing. It didn’t really matter for him, though. He was fine with whatever she decided to wear, as long as it was clean and her outfits didn’t look like a blind person had chosen them.

***

After that first day, however, Levi’s life had almost returned to normal. Sure, Hange was still living with him and occasionally he heard her mutterings or the sounds of her computer, but for the most part, she kept to her word. She was always busy with some work and didn’t bother Levi much.

The only place, where their paths crossed, was the kitchen. Levi would often see Hange, sitting on a countertop with a notebook in her hands, scribbling something down, while she waited for her coffee. Sometimes, they spend their breakfast together. And a couple of nights, when his insomnia acted up, Levi even invited Hange to share a cup of tea with him.

Unexpectedly, Hange wasn’t quite as annoying as Levi first thought. Sure, sometimes she talked a little too much, but Levi quickly learnt that she didn’t really need for him to participate in those conversations. She just liked to talk, especially about her work, and she didn’t expect any kind of an answer. And, truth be told, her blabbering had a strangely soothing effect on Levi.

He was surprised to realize that living with another person wasn’t that terrible.

Maybe, Levi thought fleetingly, he could even get used to it.

The whole week was spent in that manner, as Levi and Hange learnt how to co-exist together, getting to know each other better one day at a time.

But Friday was approaching, and so was the Ackerman family dinner. And neither Kuchel, nor Kenny let Levi forget about that.

His mother called him every day, asking what food Hange preferred and making sure that Levi hadn’t changed his mind about introducing his girlfriend to them.

Kenny smirked every time he saw Levi in the hallways of their company. He patted his shoulder and reminded him that if his girlfriend wasn’t actually real, now was the best time to reveal it.

Naturally, it pissed Levi off. Not that Kenny was that far from truth, but really? Could he have some faith in his nephew?

***

Friday came much faster than Levi expected. Before long, he found himself sitting in a car, dressed in his favorite blue suit. Hange was sitting beside him, wearing a dark green pants and white shirt that Levi had bought for her earlier.

She didn’t seem nervous in the slightest. Levi envied her.

“I think it’s time for us to talk strategies,” she said, as Levi began driving.

“Huh?”

“Well, we have to think of a legend. Our first meeting, our first date, when we realized we’ve fallen in love,” Hange waved her hands around. “That kind of thing.”

“Oh,” Levi didn’t think about it.

And judging by Hange’s mischievous gaze, she saw right through him. “Jeez, you’re lucky to have me. So I’ve been thinking about our first meeting, and we can tell that we’ve met, when my car broke down. I needed help, and you, as true gentlemen, offered to fix it.”

“I don’t think my family would believe this whole ‘true gentlemen’ crap,” Levi grumbled, earning a soft chuckle from Hange. “But alright, what happened next?”

“Well, naturally I decided to invite you to dinner to express my gratitude.”

“But I’ve refused?”

“Yes, you refused!” Hange threw her hands in the air, so scandalized, as though it actually happened. “But, luckily, I’m very stubborn, so I literally followed you, until you agreed to go out with me.”

Levi almost smiled. He could quite clearly picture that. “And then you’ve begged me to give you my phone number.”

“I didn’t beg,” Hange protested. “It was more like I forced you to give it to me.”

“And then you’ve started texting me practically non-stop,” Hange definitely seemed like a person, who would do that. “So I had no choice, but to agree to a second date.” “Mm, yeah. We started going out and on our fourth date, you literally couldn’t resist my dashing looks anymore, so you kissed me, whispering how much you love me right into my lips.”

Levi gave her the most unimpressed of his looks. Hange burst out laughing.

“What?” she asked. “It’s a cute story!”

“Let’s hope my family believes it,” Levi sighed.

Five minutes later, Levi stopped in front of his mother’s house.

“We’re here,” he announced.

He walked out of the car and hurried to Hange’s side, opening the door for her and offering her his hand.

“If you keep acting like this,” she giggled, taking the offered hand. “No one will believe that our relationship is real. Don’t worry,” she said softly. “Just be yourself.”

Levi rolled his eyes. He would never admit it, of course, but, maybe, Hange was right.

“Wait!” Hange widely opened her eyes. “We haven’t discussed one very important detail!”

“What are you talking about?” Levi furrowed his eyebrows.

“Our pet names, of course, silly! How do you want me to call you? Babe? Honey? Little kitten?”

Levi cringed. Then he looked at Hange closer. Her shoulders were shaking, as though she was barely holding in her laugh.

“You are such a jerk,” Levi mumbled. “Let’s go already. I hate to be late.”

“Mm, as you say, kitten,” Hange giggled, as Levi sent her his scariest glare. She didn’t even flinch. Instead, she wrapped her arm around his waist, making it look so casual, as though she was doing it all the time. Meanwhile, it took every part of Levi’s willpower to relax and put his own hand around her shoulders.

Walking up to his mother’s house, Levi knocked. In less than a second, she answered, wearing a bright, happy smile.

“You came!” she exclaimed, her eyes immediately locking onto Hange. “I’m so happy to meet you! I can’t believe Levi was hiding you from us for so long!”

“I’m pleased to meet you, as well, Mrs. Ackerman,” Hange tucked a lose lock of her hair, blushing slightly. Levi wondered if it was genuine or just an act.

“Oh, please, just call me Kuchel!” she squeezed Hange in a tight hug. “We’re almost family, after all!”

“Mom, please,” even if all of it was a lie, Levi’s embarrassment was quite real. “If you continue to act like this, Hange will never agree to visit us again.”

“Ah, don’t listen to that shorty,” Hange chuckled. “You’re so nice!”

“Shorty?” Levi cursed, as he heard that particular voice, followed by a hearty laugh. “I already like you, my dear!”

“She’s not your dear,” Levi glared at his uncle.

Kenny’s smile grew wider. “Uh-oh, someone is jealous. Don’t worry, kid, I won’t steal your girlfriend. If you promise to treat her nicely.”

“Shut up, old man,” Levi growled.

“Boys, stop it!” Kuchel gave them both a disapproving look. “Levi, show Hange the dining room, and, you, Kenny, go and help me in the kitchen.”

“Maybe, I can help you with something, too?” Hange offered.

“Oh, honey, absolutely not,” Kuchel shook her head. “You’re our guest tonight, so just relax and let us handle everything.”

“Well, if you insist,” Hange said with a soft smile.

“She’s not only pretty, but polite, as well!” his mother whispered to him, before Levi walked away. “I’m so happy you’ve found yourself someone so nice!”

Levi quickly nodded and turned away, feeling the guilt eat at him again.

***

“So, Hange,” Kenny began, taking a sip from his glass. “Tell us what you do.”

“I’m a scientist,” Hange said. “I study the regeneration process and ways of enhancing it.”

“You’re not just looks, but brains too, huh?” Kenny winked at her. “So what did you find in my nephew?”

“Well, I couldn’t resist his charmingly grumpy attitude,” Hange shrugged.

Kenny and Kuchel burst out laughing.

“Levi, I really don’t envy you,” Kenny said. “With tongue as sharp as hers, you surely can’t catch a break.”

“Tell me about it,” Levi rolled his eyes.

The conversation continued after that, and, as he watched Hange discuss politics with Kenny or talk about books with his mother, Levi couldn’t quite shake the feeling that Hange belonged here. She surprisingly easy got on with his family, and both Kenny and Kuchel already seemed to adore her.

His family kept talking about something, but Levi didn’t exactly pay attention. Instead, he was focused on Hange, as his eyes followed her every movement. Suddenly, their gazes met, and Levi hastily looked away, taking a large sip of wine from his glass. Trying not to act like he was caught staring at his ‘girlfriend’ like some kind of a creep. Reminding himself that all of it was just an act.

***

In the end, he drank a little too much wine. He wasn’t exactly drunk, but he couldn’t drive either, so his mother persuaded Levi to stay the night at her house.

“We have a guestroom,” she said. “And it’s pretty late already. I will feel much better, if you sleep here tonight.”

“I…” Levi never really could say no to his mother. “If Hange’s okay with it, then so am I.”

“Well, I don’t need to go to work tomorrow,” Hange replied. “So yeah, let’s stay.”

“Great!” Kuchel smiled. “Then you should go and relax in the living room, while I prepare the bedding for you.”

“Please, let me help,” Hange said.

“No, no,” Kuched refused again. “I’ve seen the way Levi was staring at you the whole evening,” she winked. “I’m sure he can’t wait to spend some time alone with you!”

“Mom!” Levi exclaimed, scandalized.

“Oh, honey, there is no need to be ashamed,” Kuchel ruffled his hair. “You’re a big boy already.”

“Big, but not tall,” Hange joked.

“Shut the fuck up,” Levi growled, grabbing her hand and dragging her to the living room.

Once there, away from the prying eyes of his family, Levi finally let himself relax. In the meanwhile, Hange took out two glasses and filled them with wine.

She held one glass out for Levi. “To the success of our little act,” she smiled.

“We’ve really managed to fool them,” Levi agreed, drinking from his glass.

“Yes,” Hange drew out, smiling lazily.

Levi suddenly realized how close they were sitting. Their thighs were pressed together, and when Levi turned his face to look at Hange, he was almost nose to nose with her. She seemed to realize that as well, but, unlike Levi, their proximity didn’t seem to freak her out.

On the contrary, she leaned in closer, until their lips were almost touching. “Your mother is watching,” she whispered, before kissing him.

It wasn’t a long kiss, it lasted for no more than five seconds, but those five seconds seemed like an eternity to Levi. He was shocked by Hange’s actions, but for some reason, probably because he was drunker than he thought, Levi didn’t even think about pushing her away.

He didn’t think about their lie, about his mother or Kenny. No, he thought only of Hange and the feeling of her surprisingly soft lips against his.

As soon as Hange moved away, Levi pretended to look behind her shoulder. “My mother is still here,” he lied, kissing her again.

His mother wasn’t there, of course. If Hange had strained her ears, she would quickly realize that Levi’s mother was in the kitchen, talking with Kenny. Maybe, she wasn’t actually watching them, when Hange had kissed him too, but Levi couldn’t care less. He was slowly losing himself in that kiss, and he wanted nothing more than to continue.

“So what about that promised guestroom?” Hange asked when they broke apart.

Levi nodded, his mind too blank to think of proper words. He got to his feet and Hange followed his suit. He led her to the bedroom and then closed the door, hoping that neither his mother, nor especially Kenny would disturb them.

“Are you sure?” he looked closely at Hange, taking pleasure in watching the rapid rise and fall of her chest and the way blush painted her face. This sight was making him drunker than the wine.

“Yes,” Hange breathed out, her voice husky and so, so sexy.

This was all Levi needed. He swiftly closed the distance between them, connecting his lips with hers. Hange put her hands into his hair, and when Levi moved from her lips to her neck, sucking at the delicate skin there, her fingers started to play with his strands, pulling at them and moaning softly.

They were just drunk, Levi kept telling himself, when he took off her glasses and began unbuttoning her shirt.

They couldn’t think straight, he reminded himself, as he pushed Hange down onto the bed.

It didn’t mean anything, he tried to persuade himself after they’ve finished and he slowly drifted to sleep, hugging Hange close to his chest.

***

Levi woke up with a groan. The fucking sun was shining right in his eyes, and he turned away from it, covering his face with a blanket.

He was ready to go back to sleep, when suddenly it hit him.

The sun, it was already high enough to shine through the window. He shot up and looked at the clock.

10:39.

What the fuck?

He had never, ever slept for so long. Usually Levi slept for no more than four hours. What the fuck happened?

And then, oh, the memories of last night began to resurface. He remembered his mother’s smiling face, as he introduced her to Hange, he remembered Kenny’s annoying smirk, as he continuously teased him, he remembered Hange, acting shy, but pleased, as she talked with his family. He remembered the kiss and everything that followed.

Levi sat up on the bed, hands in his hair. Shit, what did he do last night? Why did he decide it was a good idea to sleep with Hange? Why didn’t she stop him? Why didn’t he stop himself?

And as Levi glanced around the room, another important question appeared in his mind – where was Hange now?

Was she disgusted by him? Did she regret last night so much that she ran away? Was it the end of their arrangement?

Levi hurriedly got up from the bed. Putting his clothes on, he rushed downstairs, all the while thinking of how he would explain all of it to his mother.

He also needed to find Hange. Maybe, he should apologize to her? Explain that he was drunk and couldn’t think clearly?

Levi practically burst into the kitchen.

And then he promptly stopped, looking at the scene in front of him with wide, confused eyes.

Hange was sitting there. She held a cup of coffee in her hands and there was a small smile on her lips, as she listened to whatever his mother was talking about.

Hange. Was. There.

She didn’t run away, didn’t abandon him. She was there, so relaxed and joyful as though last night didn’t happen.

“Good morning, honey!” his mother was the first one to notice him. “Did you have a good night? You’ve been sleeping for much longer than usual.”

Yes, he did. He slept for almost ten hours. The last time he slept for so long was when… No, Levi couldn’t even remember when he had such a good night sleep. He couldn’t explain it to himself. Of course, he had some faint idea, but no. Even the notion of it was ridiculous. He probably slept for so long, because he was drunk (although, he didn’t have the smallest sign of hungover, but Levi promptly ignored this fact).

He had drunk too much, and that’s why he was sleeping for so long. Hange, sleeping in the bed beside him, had nothing to do with it.

“Hey, sit down,” Hange pointed to a chair next to her, “and have this.”

Levi skeptically looked at the mug that Hange put next to him. It looked like tea and smelled like it, too. He narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

“Oh, c’mon!” Hange rolled her eyes. “It’s tea, I didn’t poison it or anything.”

“It doesn’t hurt to be careful with you, four-eyes,” Levi grumbled. He did as she asked, though, and took a sit next to her. He lifted the mug and gave it another critical look. “It’s not another experiment of yours, right? I won’t grow a second head after drinking it?”

“Have some faith in me,” Hange playfully punched his shoulder. “Besides, your mother was there, when I made it. I couldn’t have poisoned you in front of her.”

“I guarantee that this tea is completely harmless,” Kuchel said with a smile.

“Alright,” Levi gave in and then took a small, tentative sip.

It was tea, just as Hange said. Strong and bitter with a heavy herbal scent. Exactly as he liked it.

Levi looked up in surprise. He glanced at Hange, and then his eyes focused on his mother.

“Don’t look at me like that, honey,” Kuchel chuckled. “It wasn’t me who told her how to prepare it. Hange knew it herself.”

Levi turned back to Hange, an intense look in his eyes.

“I watched you prepare tea the other day,” she explained with an almost shy smile. “Is it good?” if Levi didn’t know better, if he didn’t know that it was just an act, he’d say that Hange was nervous.

But. It all was just an act. Even if he started to wish that it wasn’t.

“That’s exactly how I drink it,” for some weird reason, he felt tense. Hange’s eyes on him made him uncomfortable. But not in a bad way. “Thank you,” he whispered more softly than he intended to.

“Ah, a good cup of tea is a sure way to our Levi’s heart,” Kenny chuckled, coming from behind to ruffle Levi’s hair. Levi didn’t even notice him entering the kitchen.

“Are you going somewhere?” he asked, noticing that Kenny was already dressed.

“Got some business in the office,” Kenny put his hat on, grinning at Levi. “You can take a day-off, by the way. Rest and relax, spend time with your lovely lady,” he winked at Hange. “Don’t think about the work.”

“B-but—”

“No buts!” Kenny chided. “I’m not doing this for you, kid. I’m sure Hange will get lonely, if you continue to work like a madman.”

Levi gritted his teeth, knowing perfectly well that it was pointless to argue with Kenny. Well, his apartment needed cleaning anyway.

“Oh, and by the way,” Kenny said, before walking out. “You didn’t forget about the Gathering this weekend?”

Levi barely stopped himself from groaning out loud. He did forget about that stupid shit.

Hange kicked his leg under the table, a silent question in her eyes.

“I’ll tell you later,” Levi whispered to her, before turning back to his uncle.

“Do I really have to go?” he asked him. “You know I hate it.”

“As do I, kid,” Kenny smirked. “Bring Hange with you, you won’t feel so miserable then. Well,” Kenny tipped his hat. “I’m off to work now! Adios!”

***

“So what was Kenny talking about?” Hange asked, as soon as they said goodbye to Kuchel and got inside the car.

Levi sighed. “It’s an annual event. Gathering, as they call it. Basically, it’s a banquet for the richest, snobbiest shits in this city.”

“Oh,” Hange smirked. “It’s for the people like you!”

“I’m rich,” Levi glared at her. “And sometimes I can be quite shitty, but I’m not a snob.”

“Keep telling yourself that,” Hange chuckled. “So, you need me to accompany you there?”

“I know it wasn’t a part of our deal—”

“No, I’m fine with that,” Hange carelessly waved her hand. “I can’t abandon you in the time of need, right?”

“Thanks,” Levi said, feeling more relieved that he probably should be.

***

The following week Levi spent drowning in his work. Even though, Kenny became strangely productive, there were still a shit ton of things that needed his attention. And, of course, the Gathering was approaching, so Levi had to help with organizing it, as well.

As a result, he was coming home close to midnight or even later, and almost didn’t see Hange. Sometimes she texted him, asking what groceries she should buy, and sometimes she left a dinner for him with a little note on the fridge.

But their communication was kept to a minimum, and Levi was glad that it was.

During the day, his mind was occupied with financial reports, income statements and other paperwork. There were a thousand of workers he needed to keep in check, dozens of problems he needed to solve. There was no time for him to think of anything else.

However, once he came back home, once he lay in his bed, having nothing to distract himself with, his treacherous mind began to fill with unwanted images.

He saw Hange’s flushed face, as she asked him where the bedroom was. He felt her needy and passionate kisses, he heard her quiet moans and gasps. He remembered how good it felt to hold her in his arms, how sweet his dreams were, as Hange slept beside him.

It was hard for Levi to admit, but he desperately wanted to repeat that night, wanted to feel the warmth of Hange’s body once more.

But he knew that he couldn’t.

Hange acted as though nothing happened between them. In front of Levi’s family, she pretended to be his girlfriend. When they were alone, she acted like they were friends. Not even once did she speak of that night.

Maybe, she was drunker than she seemed and didn’t remember it. Or, maybe, it wasn’t such a big deal for her. Either way, she didn’t seem uncomfortable.

And Levi would really, really like to follow her suit. To forget about it and continue with his life. But maybe, he was spending too much time working and not enough sleeping. Maybe, the guilt from lying to his mother was making him crazy.

His life would probably return to normal, once the month was over.

But as for now, Levi could only hope.

***

“Wow,” Hange breathed out, as she and Levi moved through the crowd of extremely rich-looking people. “That is one hell of a fancy party.”

Levi didn’t answer, too busy glaring at the disgusting pigs, surrounding him. Their fake smiles and overly polite words made him sick. However, he had to admit – Hange’s presence somewhat managed to lift his sour mood.

“What should we do?” she continued, undisturbed by his silence or scowling face. “Do we come up to say hi or—”

“Absolutely not,” Levi protested. “We find the emptiest corner we can and hope no one notices us.”

Hange’s chuckled, the sound filled with relief. “Yeah, works for me. I don’t think I’ll be well received by this particular crowd.”

“And neither will I,” Levi replied, dragging her to the most secluded part of the room.

They stood there for almost half an hour, with Hange providing hilarious commentary on every guest and Levi barely resisting from laughing out loud.

“Oh, no,” Hange suddenly said, her voice urged and tinted with panic. She grabbed Levi by the hand, squeezing it almost painfully. “He is here.”

“Who?” Levi asked, trying to see who the fuck managed to worry Hange so much.

“No, no,” she whispered. “Don’t look at him. Maybe, he won’t notice us then.”

“Who did you—”

And oh, now Levi saw him too. Zeke fucking Yeager.

“You know him?” he asked.

“Yes,” it wasn’t hard to notice the distain in her tone. “We’ve attended the same university. He was the second most successful student. After me, of course. We were rivals, of sorts. Wait,” Hange looked at Levi with wide eyes. “You know him too?”

“Yes,” Levi sighed. “His company rivals my uncle’s.”

“Shit,” Hange said. Levi couldn’t agree more.

“Shit,” she repeated, more urgently this time. “He saw us. And he’s heading our way.”

If Levi wanted to escape, it was too late now. In a matter of seconds, Zeke was standing right in front of them.

“Who do I see? The brightest mind of our generation,” with a sweet smile on his face, Zeke grabbed Hange’s palm and planted a kiss on it. “Miss Hange Zoe, it’s been awhile.”

“It’s Doctor Hange Zoe,” she corrected. “And I’m sure you know it.”

“Ah, as fierce as ever,” he chuckled. “I’ve missed your passion.”

“And haven’t you missed me, Zeke?” Levi interrupted, glaring at him.

Zeke chuckled again. “Levi, I didn’t notice you. I think you’ve become even shorter.”

Levi had to summon all of his willpower to stop himself from punching that arrogant asshole. Hange’s hand, which was squeezing his almost painfully, did a great job of keeping him grounded.

“And I think you’ve become an even bigger piece of a shit than you were,” he gritted through his teeth.

“As vulgar as always,” Zeke rolled his eyes. “What else could I expect from an Ackerman?”

Zeke continued to show his overly sweet smile, but his eyes filled with some confusion, as he saw Hange and Levi’s joined hands.

“Don’t tell you’ve come here with him, Miss Zoe,” he said, pointedly ignoring Levi.

“I haven’t come with him,” Hange replied, her smile so big, she almost bared her teeth at Zeke. “I am with him.”

“You’re dating?” Zeke’s eyebrows went so high, they’ve reached his hairline. “So you didn’t take pity on that pathetic friend of yours? The one, who was always following you like a faithful dog?”

“I don’t know who you’re talking about,” Hange said, her voice cold and her gaze sharp.

“Oh, so you don’t even remember him? That foolish guy… what was his name? Mob— Mobit?”

“Moblit,” Hange corrected him through gritted teeth. “And there is nothing pathetic or foolish about him. He’s ten times better person than you are.”

“Really? He’s so good? And yet you’ve chosen Levi Ackerman over him?”

“I don’t have to explain myself to you,” Hange sneered. “But if you haven’t noticed how amazing Levi is, then I don’t think I can persuade you.”

Unfortunately, before Levi could relish in the sight of Zeke’s dumfounded face or process what Hange had just said about him, he was quite rudely dragged away.

“What a fucking asshole, what a jerk,” Hange muttered, as she led Levi through the crowd of guests. “How dare he talk about Moblit like this, and how dare he shit on you as well, I just—”

Levi stopped so abruptly, Hange had no other choice than to come to a stop alongside him.

“What?” she asked. “Do you see another annoying asshole?”

“No,” Levi shook his head, wondering if he actually understood Hange clearly. Was she pissed off at Zeke not just for offending her friend? Did she try to defend him as well? “Everything’s fine, let’s go to the balcony. I need to get some air.”

“Yeah, good idea,” Hange nodded.

As they stood at the balcony, each lost in their own thoughts, Levi couldn’t help but stare at Hange. Illuminated by stars and city lights, she looked different than usual. Almost surreal.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” she suddenly cursed, breaking Levi out of his reverie. “That fucker is still staring at us.”

Levi looked back and saw it too. Zeke was standing in the main room, looking right at them and smirking arrogantly.

An idea popped up in Levi’s head.

“Hey,” he said before he could stop himself. “Do you want to piss him off?”

“Of course,” Hange agreed without hesitation.

Levi smirked, laying his hands on Hange’s waist and bringing her closer. The voice inside his head cursed and protested, begging Levi to stop. He didn’t listen.

Instead, he leaned in even closer, until mere centimeters were everything that separated Hange and him. He gave her last careful look, searching for the smallest signs of discomfort. There wasn’t any.

So Levi connected his lips with hers, instantly losing himself in the kiss. His hands gripped her waist tighter, as he deepened the kiss.

Zeke probably wasn’t watching them anymore, but Levi continued to kiss her. Just to be sure.

And he would have continued to kiss her for much longer, but suddenly Hange pushed him away.

“Not that I’m not enjoying it,” she chuckled, her voice husky. She was enjoying it? Levi wondered if she meant the kiss or the act of pissing Zeke off. “But I think we should stop. Otherwise we’ll get kicked out of this fancy party.”

I don’t care, Levi almost argued. If he looked around, he’d see dozen of people staring at him. He’d see Zeke and his friends, watching them with disgust (and with poorly hidden envy), Kenny, smirking proudly, and all the other guests, giving him confused looks, not actually believing that Levi Ackerman, a known bachelor just as his uncle, was kissing some unknown, nerdy-looking woman.

And still, he didn’t care. None of it mattered, not really. Not as much as Hange did.

But he couldn’t tell that to her, couldn’t reveal what exactly she made him feel.

So he took a step back, letting go of her, and nodded, still looking a little bit dazed. “Let’s go home, then. I’m sick of this stupid shit.”

As soon as they got home, Hange headed to her bedroom, claiming that she was exhausted.

Levi couldn’t decide if he should feel relieved or disappointed.

***

The next Friday, it was Levi’s turn to host Ackerman family dinner. He spent the whole day in the kitchen, preparing the food and slapping Hange’s hands away, whenever she tried to help him.

He had witnessed her once, cooking an omelet. He swore to never let her come close to oven ever again.

Amazingly, but that dinner was even more successful than the first one. Levi’s mother and uncle seemed to like Hange even more, as her bright smile and warm eyes managed to charm them even further.

As he watched the three of them talk, Levi remembered that he planned on ‘breaking up’ with Hange soon. Initially, Hange agreed to be his girlfriend for a month. Levi didn’t believe that he’d endure her for so long. But now it felt like it wasn’t even nearly enough.

He liked living with Hange. Even though, all of it was an act, just Hange doing, what he had paid her for, Levi started to wish that all of it was real. That Hange was actually his girlfriend, that all of her signs of affection were genuine, that she actually liked him.

He started to wish that he could stop pretending that it was all just an act for him.

***

Levi just returned back to his apartment after walking his mother and Kenny to their car, when he heard a strange sound. It sounded like four-eyes didn’t fucking listen to him and decided to wash the dishes.

“What the fuck are doing?” he asked, walking into the kitchen and scowling at Hange.

“Well, what does it look like?” Hange shrugged, undisturbed by Levi’s hard gaze. “I’m doing the dishes.”

“I told you I’m going to do it myself.”

A smirk appeared on Hange’s lips. A very mischievous and evil smirk. “Then come here and stop me, shorty.”

Levi growled and started moving. That was his mistake. As soon as he was close enough, Hange took the faucet in her hands and directed the flaw directly at him.

He cursed, as he realized that his favorite shirt was ruined, but didn’t stop. He reached Hange and put his hands on hers, trying to push her away. She redirected the flaw from his shirt to his face.

Spurting and gritting his teeth, Levi used all of his force to press her to the countertop. Without looking away from her face, he turned off the faucet.

“So?” he said right into her lips. “What are you going to do now?”

“Oh, Levi,” Hange rolled her eyes, looking relaxed and quite content. “You should know that I always have an ace up my sleeve.”

Before Levi could really process her words, Hange surged forward, claiming his lips in a passionate kiss. Instantly, Levi’s mind was turned off, just like that faucet moments ago. He forgot about his wet shirt, about his annoyance and anger. All that was left was Hange and the feeling of her body in his arms.

“A-ah, Levi!” Hange moaned, as Levi moved away from her lips to bite at her earlobe. That sound was like music to him. “W-wait, wait!”

She put her hands on his chest, pushing away. Confused, Levi instantly took a step back.

“Are we really going to do it?” Levi became even more confused. They’ve done it before, two weeks ago. And they’ve kissed again at the Gathering. Why was Hange against it now? “I mean,” she trailed off, her gaze constantly darting to his lips. “Wouldn’t it be better to move to the bedroom?”

Oh, Levi couldn’t believe, how relieved he felt.

Without wasting any second, he kissed Hange again.

“It’s the smartest thing you’ve said to me,” he whispered, before taking her hand and hurriedly leading her to his bedroom.

***

And so… they’ve fucked again. And as Levi woke up (again, much later than usual), again his bed was empty.

So it was just sex after all. Levi knew he shouldn’t be surprised. But his heart still squeezed painfully, as that realization hit him.

***

After taking a shower and putting his clothes on, Levi walked out of the bedroom, searching for Hange. He knew that he should leave it and her alone, try to forget about last night, but he felt almost physical need to see her. Just to make sure that she was still there, that she didn’t leave him.

But as Levi walked up to her room, he saw that Hange wasn’t alone.

Her friend Moblit was sitting in a chair, as Hange stood close to him, her right hand pointing at something on the computer screen. Her left hand was at the back of Moblit’s head, as her fingers absentmindedly played with his hair.

As he watched that overly sweet scene, Levi’s jaw tightened. Anger began flowing through him like hot lava.

Without saying anything, he shut the door closed and turned around, walking out of his apartment.

So for Hange it really was just sex? She really didn’t feel anything for him? Levi knew, he knew that he shouldn’t have expected anything else. It was just a job for Hange, and who could blame her for deciding to have some fun, while at it?

It was Levi, who was a fool. He made a mistake, he got attached. He should have known better.

But he didn’t.

Levi spent almost three hours, wondering the streets. Trying to get those annoying thoughts about Hange out of his head.

Thankfully, he knew just the right remedy for that.

So he headed to his office, determined to throw himself head-first into the work.

***

And threw himself he did. He was pushing himself to the point of exhaustion, sitting in his office till early hours of morning. He slept for less than two hours and he came home only to shower and change clothes. He avoided Hange completely, ignoring all of her texts and calls.

It was just one more week, he kept telling himself. One more week and this whole idiotic charade would be over. His life would return to normal and he would forget about that stupid woman.

Hange would disappear from his life. And maybe then, his heart would stop aching.

***

Levi kept that crazy schedule for four days straight. And, unfortunately, but naturally, it had quite negative effects on his productivity.

He cursed, as he was getting ready to a meeting with investors, and realized that he had forgotten important documents at home. He had two hours until the meeting started, but it was the middle of the day. If he came home now, it would be impossible to avoid Hange.

Levi cursed again, thinking, if he had any alternatives. Of course, he could ask someone else to pick the documents for him. One of his assistants, for example. Or he could just suck it up and do it himself.

After all, it was his apartment. And, maybe, Hange wasn’t even awake right now, or, maybe, she was too absorbed in another one of her experiments. She probably wouldn’t even notice his arrival. And even if she did, Levi would be gone, before she could start a conversation.

And with that in mind, Levi headed out of his office.

***

As he entered his apartment, Levi found it to be blessedly quiet. So, his guess was right – Hange was sleeping. It wouldn’t be so peaceful, if she wasn’t.

Satisfied that he wouldn’t run into her, Levi decided to brew himself a cup of tea. The one he was drinking at the office wasn’t as good as the one he had at home. Levi missed its exquisite taste.

However, as he walked into the kitchen, he found out that he wasn’t alone at his apartment. No, that fucker, Moblit, was sitting there.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” he said, putting down the book he was reading. “Hange said you wouldn’t return until evening. She went out to grab us a lunch,” he hurriedly explained.

“Whatever,” Levi grumbled, taking out his favorite cup. Just the sight of Moblit’s face made his anger resurface, but Levi decided to ignore it. He wouldn’t lose his cool because of some idiot Hange was evidently in love with.

“You’re breaking her heart, you know,” Moblit quietly said. Levi froze. “You’ve been avoiding her and Hange noticed it,” Moblit continued, staring into his cup. “It makes her sad.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Levi looked away from him, determined to finish brewing his tea. Deciding to ignore those stupid words and how they made him feel.

“You really don’t?” Moblit asked. The earnest tone of his voice made Levi clench his jaw. He didn’t know what he was talking about. And he didn’t want to. “Do you really not care about Hange?”

“I don’t,” Levi said, hating how untrue he sounded even to his own ears. “And besides,” he took a step closer, glaring furiously at Moblit. “Why are you so worked up about this? Even if it’s true and I’m breaking Hange’s heart, why are you so upset? It could be your chance, you know. If she’s sad, you can be the one to soothe her pain. Be her shoulder to cry on. Maybe, then she will finally see you.”

Moblit shot to his feet, his hands clenched into fists and trembling with barely conceived anger. “If it weren’t for Hange,” he gritted through his teeth. “I would have punched you. God knows, you deserve it. You’re lucky she cares about you.”

He pushed past Levi, heading to the entrance door. “Tell Hange I’ve got some urgent business.” He said before walking out.

Levi watched him go, his shoulders shaking from anger. He wanted to smash something, to take something in his hands and fucking break it. Maybe, Moblit really should have punched him, Levi would have punched him back. It would be a great outlet for his frustration.

But as the moments went by, Levi’s anger at Moblit, and at Hange, disappeared. Instead, as his mind began to clear out, Levi understood what he had done, what he had said.

Moblit didn’t deserve such cruel words. Clearly, he was a good man, who cared about his friend. It wasn’t his fault that Hange cared about him too. It wasn’t his, or hers, fault that Levi wanted her to care about him instead.

Levi sighed, slowly lowering himself onto the chair. He was going crazy, that’s for sure.

One week, he reminded himself. He needs to survive one week, and then it would be over.

***

He was still sitting there, trying to regain his composure, when the front door of his apartment opened. Hange walked in, carrying a box of pizza in her hands.

“Levi!” the surprise was evident in her voice. Levi looked up at her and instantly regretted his decision. His treacherous heart skipped a beat at the sight of her face. He didn’t realize that he missed her so much.

“I didn’t expect you to come home so early. Something happened?” she asked, staring at him worriedly.

“Forgot some documents at home,” he murmured absentmindedly, unable to take his eyes away from her.

“Oh, did you have lunch already?” she put the pizza down. “Want to join Moblit and me?”

“Moblit went home,” as he said those words, he was once again filled with guilt and shame. “He needed to take care of something.”

Hange’s face fell. “I brought his favorite pizza…” however, a moment later, a smile returned to her lips. “Well, then you definitely have to share it with me! I can’t eat it all by myself.”

Levi wanted to refuse. He even had a reason to – he had to return back to work. But looking at Hange’s hopeful eyes, he felt his resolve slipping.

“Fine,” he said, trying to sound as annoyed as possible. “But don’t you dare to bore me with your scientific rumblings.”

“As you wish!” Hange laughed. “Besides, I want to hear about you too. What have you been up to these days? You work so much, I barely see you anymore.”

Levi hated the genuine worry in Hange’s voice. It tugged at his heart. It made him feel like the biggest jerk in the world. It filled him with remorse and regret.

“I… I just had a lot of work.”

She shook her head. “You should take it easy. Your mother worries, you know.”

“You talked with her?” Levi raised his eyebrows. It was news to him.

“She visited me yesterday,” Hange shrugged. “She probably wanted to see you, as well.”

“Oh.”

“Your mother is very nice,” Hange chuckled. “I’ll miss her after our break-up.”

Of course, they were going to ‘break up’ this weekend. Their arrangement was coming to an end.

Levi knew he should feel relieved. But he didn’t.

“You should probably get her ready for our break-up,” Hange took a bite of the pizza, oblivious to the effect this particular conversation had on Levi. “So it wouldn’t seem like it happened out of blue.”

Levi nodded, looking away from Hange. He knew that all of it was a lie, that their relationship weren’t real. But for some reason, his heart still ached and just the thought of saying goodbye to Hange made him sick.

“I need to go,” he suddenly rose to his feet, hastily finishing his slice of pizza. “I have an important meeting.”

“Will you come home this evening?” Hange asked, her eyes boring into his. “Or will you spend the night in your office again?”

“You’ve been avoiding her and Hange noticed it,” Moblit’s words rang inside his head. “It makes her sad.”

“I have a lot of work,” he answered helplessly. Then, before he could stop himself, he added. “But I’ll try to finish earlier.”

“Yay!” the obviously happy smile on Hange’s face made Levi’s mouth go dry. “Then I’m cooking dinner tonight!”

“Don’t you dare,” Levi hissed. “I’ll order take-out on my way home.”

“Still don’t trust my cooking skills, shorty?”

“I just want to keep my apartment,” he retorted before leaving the kitchen.

As he was heading to the office, a small smile was on his lips.

He didn’t even notice.

***

“Honey?” Kuchel softly knocked on the side his office’s door. “Are you busy?”

“No,” Levi shook his head, putting his papers away. There was no work more important than his mother. “Is everything alright?”

“Of course. Just brought you some sandwiches,” Kuchel laid them down on his desk, taking a seat across from Levi. “You’ve been working a lot these past few days.”

“Yeah,” Levi ran a hand through his hair. “There are a lot of things that need my attention.”

“So responsible,” Kuchel smiled. “You look exhausted. And stressed,” she looked at Levi, her usually soft grey eyes turning sharp. “Is the work the only thing that worries you?”

“N-no…” Levi looked away, feigning distress. “We’ve been fighting with Hange…”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I think…” he sighed, lowering his head. He couldn’t lie while looking his mother in the eyes. “I think we’re going to break up, mom.”

Levi carefully looked at his mother beneath his hair. He expected her to be shocked, or, maybe, saddened. Her shoulders indeed were shaking, and Levi was ready to get up and comfort her, but then he gave her another look. She covered her mouth with a hand, but there were no tears in her eyes. No, instead, his mother seemed to be trying to keep herself from laughing.

Levi stared at her, utterly confused. “Mom?”

“I’m sorry, sorry,” a small laugh escaped her lips. “I just didn’t know that you can break up with someone, if you’ve never actually dated.”

“What?” Levi’s eyes widened. “You… you knew?”

“Of course, I did, honey,” Kuchel covered his hand with hers. “I knew it from the moment you’ve told me about this mysterious girl of yours.”

“Then why… why didn’t you tell me?”

Kuchel shrugged, a look of mischief in her eyes. “I wanted to see what you were going to do. Truth be told, I thought you’d just confess that it was a lie. But I guess I should have known that you wouldn’t give up so easily. And then you brought this girl,” her grin turned into a fond smile. “I watched you two together, bickering and teasing each other, and I saw… potential.”

“Potential?”

“You were comfortable with her. And she didn’t seem to care about your insults and constant scowls. You were good together, you seemed happy. And then I saw you kissing on the sofa in our living room. You were quite passionate, that’s for sure,” she winked. “So I decided to keep quiet. To see where it can lead to.”

“Shit,” Levi covered his eyes. “So you knew all this time…” he couldn’t wrap his head around it. “Kenny knows too?”

Kuchel chuckled. “Of course, no. Your uncle is a smart man, but he’s not quite as sharp as I am.”

“Thank fucking god he isn’t.” If Kenny knew about his idiotic plan, Levi wasn’t sure that he’d be able to survive the humiliation.

“Levi?” Kuchel looked him in the eyes. “You like Hange, don’t you?”

“Yeah… but it doesn’t matter.”

“Why not?”

“Because she doesn’t like me back.”

Kuchel smiled, getting to her feet and coming to stand in front of Levi. She put her hand on his cheek, gently caressing it. “Are you so sure about it, dear?”

“Of course I am,” Levi turned away from his mother’s eyes. “She already has someone.”

“She does?” Kuchel’s asked, her voice soft as silk.

“I… I think so.”

“Honey, why don’t you go and talk to her?” his mother proposed. “You won’t know how she feels about you, until you ask her.”

“But what if she doesn’t feel the same as I do?” Levi whispered.

Kuchel shrugged, ruffling his hair. “You accept it. You try to move on. You’d feel a lot worse if you don’t use this chance. Believe me, you’ll be regretting it for the rest of your life.”

“I… yeah, you’re right,” Levi nodded, feeling much better now. His mother was right, it was better to get rejected than tormenting yourself with ‘what ifs’. “I’ll go and see her now. Thank you,” he tightly embraced his mother.

“I’m always there for you, honey,” Kuchel smiled, squeezing Levi once before letting him go. “Now go. And call me afterwards! I’ll be waiting!”

“Of course,” Levi said and then left his office.

No matter the result, he was determined to tell Hange how he felt about her.

***

When Levi arrived at his apartment, Hange was in the middle of packing her things. Moblit was helping her with that, and when Levi showed up, he narrowed his eyes and clenched his jaw, glaring at him.

Well, Levi wasn’t blaming him. After their last conversation, the guy had every reason to hate him. Levi needed to apologize to him.

But that could wait, he had to talk to Hange first. While he still had his resolve.

“Hange? Can we talk?” he asked her quietly. “In private,” he added, glancing at Moblit.

“I… of course,” Hange smiled. She turned to Moblit and they looked at each other, having a silent conversation. Hange smiled and squeezed his elbow. Moblit sighed, but evidently agreed to leave them alone. Before he walked out, he gave Levi another disapproving look.

“So? Did you tell your mother about our break-up?”

Levi shook his head. “I didn’t really need to.”

“Huh?” Hange frowned.

“She knew that all of it was a lie.”

“Ouch,” Hange winced. “What gave us away?”

“Nothing,” Levi said. “She knew it from the very beginning. Even before she met you.”

Hange chuckled awkwardly, scratching her neck. “You must be embarrassed.”

“Yeah, it sucks,” Levi agreed.

“So?” Hange put her hands in the pockets of her pants, looking as relaxed as ever. But Levi knew it wasn’t true. Her shoulders were tense and she was biting her lip, her eyes darting from one corner of the room to another. Never stopping at Levi. “This is a goodbye?”

“If you want it to be.”

“Huh?” Hange finally looked at him, confusion swirling in her gaze. “What do you mean, Levi?”

Levi clenched his fists. It was now or never.

He was going to do it, he was going to confess to Hange. Right fucking now.

However, as he looked into her eyes, he began to lose some of his courage. He turned away, coming to stand by a window.

“Before I met you…” he began, his voice quiet, but steady. “My life was quite miserable. I was so lonely and I couldn’t even admit it. But when you showed up, when you moved in with me, I started to realize that maybe I was wrong. That maybe I didn’t want to be alone. And when I was with you, I realized that I don’t have to be alone. I finally understood how good it felt to be with someone. And I know it was a lie, I know we’ve just pretended, but I’ve spent the whole month, desperately wishing for it to be true. I know that this is inappropriate and I know that you probably don’t feel the same, but I—”

“Levi,” Hange came up to him, grabbing his elbow and turning him around to look at him. “I have feelings for you too.”

“What? What kind of feelings? Do you m—”

“Levi,” Hange pressed a hand to his mouth, silencing him. “I have never thought I’d tell you that, but you’re talking too much,” she smiled, as she saw his glare. Now that was the Levi she knew. “And to answer your question – romantic ones. I like you, Levi.”

“Oh,” Levi was so surprised that he forgot to be annoyed by the fact that Hange pressed her probably dirty hand to his mouth. He could lecture her about it later. Now there was a more pressing matter. “So you like me? Not Moblit— or anyone else, but me?”

“Yes, dumbass,” Hange rolled her eyes. “I like you. Wait,” she looked at him closely, a sly grin on her lips. “You thought I liked Moblit? Were you jealous?”

Levi looked away, a stupid blush appearing on his cheeks. “I may have gotten into a fight with him. I… said things to him that I… that I shouldn’t have.”

“Oh god!” Hange doubled over with laughter, clutching at her sides. “That was why he was so angry with you! I knew something happened between you two, but he refused to tell me about it! I thought he had broken your favorite mug or something, but you were just jealous! Oh, Levi,” she straightened out, cupping his face in her hands. “You’re so adorable!”

“No one had ever called me that,” he replied gloomily. However, he didn’t move away, staring up at her.

“You know,” Hange leaned in. “This is definitely the part, where you kiss me.”

“Really?” Levi wrapped his hands around her waist. He rose to his tiptoes, so he could reach her lips. And then, finally, he kissed her.

It was a slow, languid and gentle kiss, different from the ones they’ve shared before. Those were needy and passionate, Levi liked them, but this one – oh, he could spend an eternity kissing Hange like this.

“Wow,” Hange breathed out, when they broke apart. She gingerly pressed her fingertips to her lips. Levi enjoyed the dazed look on her face. “That was… really good.”

Levi frowned. “You didn’t like our previous kisses?”

“No!” Hange hastily protested. “Those were awesome too! But this one, well, I didn’t know you could be so gentle.”

And, truth be told, neither did Levi. As it turned out, there were a lot of things he didn’t know about himself.

But with Hange by his side, maybe, he could figure it out.

#this one's longer than usually ladies #levihan #levihan fanfiction #levi and hange #levi x hanji #hange zoe #levi ackerman #hanji zoe #levi aot #levi snk #snk #Shingeki no Kyoijin #snk fanfiction #moblit berner

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