#if you were wondering my favorite moments in paradise lost are all of book one | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dothwrites · 4 years ago

Text

15.20 coda--at the end of the world

author’s note: while i am still reeling from the finale, this was my way of making some kind of personal peace with it. don’t mistake this for me agreeing with the choices made <3

---

“I would know him in death, at the end of the world.”--Madeline Miller

---

Castiel opens his eyes.

All around him is green. A moment later, he hears the soft sound of birds chirping in the background; from further away, the faint sounds of children laughing. The air is ripe with the smell of growth, damp in the air and life underneath his fingers.

He sits up. The sky is a perfect shade of blue, the kind found only in poet’s and painters imaginations. A few feet away, the shrubs grow, flowers spilling over themselves in their enthusiasm to be born. Everything is a riot of life and color.

“Cas.”

Castiel’s heart thumps against his ribs. He knows that voice.

He whirls around, already knowing who he’ll find. Several feet away, Jack waits, one hand raised in a short wave.

Castiel finds himself up on his feet, and within two short steps, he’s enfolded Jack in his arms. For a moment, he forgets about everything which came before, and allows himself this sheer comfort. If nothing else remains, then Jack is here.

Jack hugs him back, twice as fiercely, before they separate. Castiel holds him at arm’s length, trying to find injuries or hurt on him, but there’s nothing. In fact, it’s almost as if...

“Jack,” he says slowly, his arm falling away from Jack’s shoulder, “what happened?”

Jack smiles, a little lopsided, but still his boy.

“Well,” he says, gesturing towards a bench, “It’s kind of a long story.

---

For all that Jack said it was a long story, it ends up being remarkably quick in the telling. Castiel listens, sometimes grieving and sometimes proud, as he hears of how Sam, Dean, and Jack ultimately defeated Chuck. His heart grows in his chest as Jack recounts Dean’s words.

That’s not who I am.

A small part of him wishes that he could be there to see it, but he tucks that part of himself away. He said his piece. He relieved the burden which has been pressing down on his shoulders now for years. In his lifetime, it was nothing more than a blip on the map, but those years have made all the difference in the world to him. Finally, he can look back on them now without regrets.

“And so, I came here,” Jack finally says, shifting a little on the bench. He looks oddly guilty, like the times Castiel would find him sneaking snacks back into his room. “I thought...”

“What?’ Castiel prompts, after a few moments when it becomes clear that Jack has no interest in speaking.

“Sam and Dean don’t really need me anymore. I mean, I know that they want me, but the world is bigger now. And the people up here need me too.”

It’s then that Castiel looks around, scrutinizing his environment more closely. The nagging sense of familiarity hits and then he wonders how he didn’t see it before. His favorite Heaven, caught in an eternal Tuesday afternoon.

“It’s not right,” Jack says, his forehead wrinkled into an earnest expression of worry. “The people here are stuck. While I was on earth, we all talked about free will, but the people here don’t have it. They’re stuck forever in an endless loop of memories, and it’s all just...empty.”

Jack looks at Castiel, and Castiel doesn’t see God. He doesn’t see a divine being, or Lucifer’s son, or even an angelic being. He just sees his boy, lost and confused, but still so pure, still wanting to do the right thing, no matter what.

“Cas?” Jack asks. “Will you help me?”

---

Rebuilding Heaven is slow work, but time doesn’t really mean anything here. It’s delicate to rebuild the walls separating billions of souls so that nothing collapses. Castiel works alongside Jack, making suggestions as his mind trips along to potential problems.

Though it’s never said aloud, Castiel knows why Jack is working tirelessly. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, the knowledge sits that Sam and Dean are going to die. One day, they will pass from the earth, and come to Heaven, and on that day, Castiel wants everything to be perfect for them. He wants to show them a true paradise, a place without walls or barriers, a place where emotion is genuine and not just a manufactured memory. Rebuilding Heaven is his last chore, the last of his penance to be performed.

He does make one stop, however.

When he walks in the door, Kelly’s head lifts up from the book she’s flipping through. Her smile is a balm to the hurt places inside him, the ones that he likes to pretend don’t exist, because he was happy, yes? That was the whole point of everything, was to be happy. “Hey, Cas,” she greets him, shifting over and patting the couch next to her. “I was wondering when you’d be by.”

“I’ve been busy,” Cas says, settling down on the cushions. In Heaven, his body is easier than it was on earth, more flexible, and he wonders if that’s because after all these years, he’s finally returned to where he was supposed to belong, or if it’s because he no longer has the shadow of his love pressing down on his shoulders.

“Jack told me. Rebuilding Heaven? Sounds ambitious.”

“The old Heaven was...not ideal,” Castiel says. “I thought it was at the beginning: each soul gets a paradise tailor made to them. But then, I realized that human life is meaningless without the connections we form along the way. Each soul, stuck forever in its own loop is...”

“It’s lonely,” Kelly says, reaching out and squeezing his hand. Castiel returns the gesture, grateful for the connection. Her eyes are kind as she moves closer to him, her shoulder pressing into his.

“So what happened?”

---

In their time together, Castiel never told Kelly about Dean, at least not explicitly. But she had a brilliant mind and was able to see the threads of his longing woven into everything he did. Relating the story to her comes easily, and he tells her things which he would never tell Jack.

“And I was happy,” Castiel says at the end. “I was.”

“You trying to convince me or yourself?”

“Neither,” Castiel replies, bristling slightly. It was true that he might have been happier--he had performed a willful obfuscation of the original terms--but that doesn’t negate what he felt in that moment. The sheer love, the overwhelming gratitude, the incandescent happiness of being able, one last time, to proclaim to the world Dean Winchester is Saved.

Everything else is unimportant when viewed through those lenses.

“Why haven’t you gone to see him?” Kelly was always good at cutting to the heart of the problem.

“Dean has his life on earth. I have my work here in Heaven. I don’t...” Because, of course, he’s asked himself the same question many times. Why doesn’t he go find Dean and tell him of one last, improbable miracle?

“Cas, let me tell you: I didn’t know Dean all that well, but I didn’t need to if I wanted to know how he felt about you. It was all over his face.” Kelly turns to face him, suddenly serious. “Cas, you should go to him. At least allow him to speak his side. If he doesn’t feel the same way, then you’ll know. And if he does...”

Castiel shakes his head. Happiness in the being is what he’s told himself ever since he awoke to find himself in Heaven. Happiness doesn’t come from the having. He will live with himself and find contentment in the works which he does.

Kelly looks sympathetic, but doesn’t say anything as he walks out.

There’s work to be done.

---

Castiel sighs with satisfaction as he walks through Heaven. Slowly, the walls are coming down. Souls are mingling and interacting. There’s joy in the once quiet halls, the giddiness which comes from freedom after too long without. He moves through the different realms, silent as a thought, and goes unnoticed, at least until a gruff voice catches his attention.

“What the hell are you doing here, boy?”

A wide grin splits Castiel’s face. Only Bobby Singer would think to call an angel ‘boy’. He walks towards the old hunter, who looks the same now as he did in life, and is surprised when Bobby sweeps him up in a hug which would threaten to crack his ribs, were he human.

“You did good,” Bobby whispers, his voice thick in Castiel’s ear. “I heard what you and that boy Jack did, and you did real good.”

It means more than he would have thought, to have Bobby’s approval. After a moment’s pause, he hugs Bobby back.

When Bobby pulls away, he quickly knuckles his eyes, before clearing his throat. “So, you fixed Heaven on top of everything else? What do you have planned next?”

Castiel’s shoulders lift in a shrug. “There’s always work to be done maintaining Heaven. We don’t know what, if any, effects the restructuring will bring, so I suppose I will be traveling and making sure that everything is stable.”

“If that ain’t a load of shit,” Bobby scoffs. “From what I’ve seen, your boy has enough power in his pinky finger to do just about whatever he wants. Stop making excuses and get your feathery ass back down there.”

Castiel swallows. “It’s not quite as simple as that. Sam and Dean have a chance to live their lives, the way that they would wish for them to be lived. It’s not fair of me to intrude.”

“Now, if that isn’t the biggest pile of horseshit I’ve ever heard.” Bobby’s mouth twists underneath his beard. “Only one thing keeping you from going back down to see those boys, and it sure as hell ain’t concern for Heaven or some BS notion that they’re better off without you.” Castiel opens his mouth, but Bobby speaks over him. “And don’t tell me that you’re just waiting either. Something I learned a long time ago--you never have as much time as you think you do.”

Castiel closes his mouth and says nothing.

---

Bobby is wrong.

There’s still time. He doesn’t have to go yet. There’s still work to be done in Heaven, souls to be guided, walls to be broken. Jack still needs him.

There’s still time.

There’s still time, until there isn’t.

---

Castiel feels it before he knows what’s happening. It’s a rift, a tear, something which ripples throughout the universe and comes to hit him in the chest. He staggers backward, hand clutching at his shirt.

His first thought is that Heaven is under attack, but a second’s observation tells him that’s not the case. Everything is fine. The fabric of Heaven remains secure, the souls are unbothered. It’s only him that feels the blow.

With a flutter of wings, Jack appears beside him. His face is a mask of distress, tears welling in his eyes. “Cas,” he cries, clenching his hands into fists at his side. “Cas, it’s--”

“Dean,” Castiel says, finally understanding the bolt of pain which ripped through him.

It was too soon. He doesn’t know how much time has passed on earth, but he knows it was too soon.

It’s always too soon.

“Cas, what do I... I can heal him. I can go and heal him now. I can save him. I can...” Jack trails off, his feet still pacing in desperate circles. “What do I do?”

It’s a child’s question, and Castiel has no answer.

“Free will,” is all he says. “Whatever you do...It’s your decision.”

---

Castiel feels when Dean Winchester’s soul enters Heaven. He held that soul within his grace, he snatched it away from the filth and flames of Hell. He cradled that soul while he was reassembling Dean’s body, pulling atoms out of air to create skin, flesh, and bone. He would know that soul at the end of everything, and he knows it here, when it settles into the place which was created for him.

It was as perfect as Castiel could make it; down to the Impala sitting in the Roadhouse’s parking lot. He created every inch of Dean’s Heaven in homage, in apology.

It wasn’t fair. Dean deserved to live to a ripe old age. He deserved to enjoy the world for which he fought so hard. He should have grown old, should have found peace, should have discovered the foibles and pitfalls of normal, human existence. Dean worked too hard, for too long, and he deserved a kinder, softer fate. Instead, he’s here, and all Castiel can do for him is to craft his Heaven with painstaking care.

He pauses on the boundaries of Dean’s Heaven. Every fiber of him yearns to go forward, to rejoice in Dean’s presence, to see that beloved face again. He wants it so badly he can almost taste it, leather and gasoline and whiskey mingling together until he’s back in the bunker, listening to the sounds of his family--

Castiel takes a step away from the border. First one, then another. After three steps, it becomes easier.

Dean has his paradise, and Castiel won’t interfere.

---

Heaven moves as it always does, timeless and changeless. There is no turn of the earth to mark the passage of time. Instead, it moves like the ocean, rolling waves which are always moving and yet the surface remains the same. Castiel travels through various Heavens, observing the newly liberated souls, and taking his peace from their newfound enjoyment. It eases something within him to see his former home restored, better than it ever was before.

He’s inspecting a field of sunflowers when the sound of a car door closing surprises him. Immediately, his heart lurches in his chest, dipping down to somewhere around his knees before hurtling upwards to lodge in his throat. He swallows before he turns around.

Dean Winchester is there.

Castiel’s heart, always out of his control, performs a quick dance against the confines of his ribs. Dean looks...He looks whole and wonderful, vibrant and alive. The lines around his eyes look as though they’ve been carved through laughter instead of despair. His shoulders sit easier, no longer pressed down with the burden of the entire world.

Castiel licks his lips. “Hello, Dean,” he finally says, when it becomes obvious that Dean has no intention of making the first move.

Dean’s lips quirk up in a grin. “Cas,” he says, not moving from where he’s leaning up against the frame of the Impala. “You’re a hard guy to track down.”

Layers upon layers of subtext are placed within the seemingly simple sentence. Castiel remembers Purgatory as well as anything else, the desperate year of keeping one step ahead of Leviathans while close enough to Dean to protect him if need be.

“I’m sorry,” Castiel says faintly. “I wasn’t aware anyone was looking.”

Dean’s face performs a series of interesting maneuvers, dropping and rising and twisting. It finally settles into an expression like stone as he pushes off the car and storms towards him. Castiel waits, caught up in breathless anticipation of the oncoming storm.

“Look,” Dean growls, reaching out and snagging the lapel of his coat, almost like he wants to ensure that Castiel doesn’t escape. Castiel doesn’t even dream of it; there’s no other place he’d rather be than caught in Dean’s grip. “There was a lot of shit going on at the time, so I didn’t get to say it then, but there’s nothing happening now, so you are going to sit here and listen, all right?”

Castiel nods, but Dean doesn’t seem to notice. “I can’t believe you didn’t...” He runs the hand which isn’t still wrapped up in Castiel’s coat over his face. “You idiot,” he finally breathes. “A couple of dumbasses. You’ve had me, Cas. All along, you’ve had me.”

Castiel looks up at Dean in sharp surprise. When he meets Dean’s eyes, there’s nothing but the infinite compassion which he fell in love with. “You... You’re this force of nature that came bursting into my life. All this time, you’ve always been there, always helping, and I took that for granted, I know I did. But, god, Cas, I should have told you every day how thankful I was to have you there with us. I should have let you know what a miracle you are. You never gave up on me, not once, not even when I deserved it.”

Castiel’s breath hitches in his chest as Dean lets go of his coat. Slowly, with a shaking hand, he reaches up to cup Castiel’s cheek. “You never stopped believing. You never stopped trying. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“Dean.” The name bursts out of Castiel’s chest in a harsh breath. Dean’s words are working their way underneath his skin, to the point where his body can’t contain them.

“Cas.” Dean gently angles his face up so that there’s no escape when he says, “I love you.”

“I’m sorry,” explodes from Castiel’s chest, the helplessness and grief he felt when he felt Dean’s soul leaving earth erupting in a single quick sob. “Dean, I’m so sorry, I should have been there, I should have done something, I never should have left you alone--”

“Cas.” Dean’s fingers press into his cheek, not hard, but firmly enough to get his attention. “It sucks, all right? There was so much I wanted...” The corner of his mouth drops. “I was going to get you out, and you, me, and Sam were going to head to the beach. I was going to get you drinking out of a coconut, maybe a Hawaiian shirt. We were going to do Christmas, I was going to take you to a theme park and see if you puked on roller coasters. I wanted...” For a moment, grief so overwhelming that it can’t be touched crosses Dean’s face, but then, with effort, he pushes it away. “There’s so much that I wanted, but it’s done now. And besides, you’ve been busy.” Dean raises his eyebrows. The grin on his face invites Cas to smile as well. “Reforming Heaven?”

“I wanted...There was so much I did wrong here. I thought if I could make it right, that maybe...” Castiel leans his cheek into Dean’s hand. “I wanted it to be perfect for you. You weren’t supposed to be here yet.”

“I know. I know. And it’s not okay, but you’re here, all right? Mom’s here, Bobby’s here, Charlie, and Jess, and Kevin, and Ellen and Jo...They’re all here, and thanks to you, I’m going to see them. You did that, Cas.”

“Jack did most of the work--” Castiel begins, but he’s cut off by the soft press of Dean’s lips against his.

Sparks burst in his chest as Dean’s hand slides around to the back of his neck to cradle his head. His other arm slides around his waist, and suddenly, Castiel is held by Dean Winchester, by this miracle of a man. Dean’s kisses consume him, until he’s no longer Castiel. Instead, he’s heat, and friction, and more.

“You and me,” Dean pants against his lips, pulling away just far enough to run his nose along Castiel’s. “We’ve got time now, Cas, we’ve got so much time. I’m going to take you apart, going to show you how much I love you, every single day. I’m going to show you everything.”

Castiel is drowning in the outpouring of Dean’s devotion. He’s helpless in the riptides. All he can do to save himself is kiss Dean again, tasting salt on their lips from where their tears trace down to their lips. Castiel cries partly for Dean’s missed opportunities and the fact that life is so cruel. But he also cries from happiness. Dean is right. Here, they have all the time they could ever want. There’s time to explore every feeling and desire, time for them to become themselves, without the pressure of the world around them.

They part. Somehow, Castiel’s hands have found their way onto Dean’s waist. One of his thumbs is braver than the rest of his whole body, as it sneaks underneath Dean’s shirt to touch bare skin. Dean grins at him.

“Hey, Cas,” he asks, pressing his forehead to Castiel’s. “Do you want to take a drive?”

Their fingers entwine as they walk towards the Impala. Castiel’s chest feels light, like Dean’s hand is the only thing keeping him tethered to the ground. “I’m still trying to figure out the roads here. It felt like I was driving around for forty years to try and find you.”

They settle into the Impala, where they’ve been so many times before, but now Castiel can enjoy every squeak of the leather seats. He can revel in the imperfections of the car because of the perfection that’s next to him. Dean Winchester reaches across the seat and takes his hand, as easy as breathing.

“I can’t wait to show Sam everything,” Dean says, as he guides the Impala back onto a road which Castiel is almost certain wasn’t there when he arrived. “I, uh...Hope it takes him a while to get here. But. Yeah, when he gets here, I can’t wait to show him everything.”

“We’ll see it all together,” Castiel finally says. It’s all he can say, his heart too busy dancing in his chest.

They have all the time they want.

---

Time slips and passes and stops. In between his time with Dean, Jack, and the rest of the residents of Heaven, and performing maintenance throughout Heaven, Castiel watches the earth. He sees those left behind grow older. Claire and Kaia start a family, Claire finally having set aside the kernel of anger in her heart. Castiel watches Sam and Eileen’s family grow, smiling when Sam finally goes back to law school and gets his degree. He spends the rest of his career fighting for justice for children lost in the system, those who can’t fight for themselves. Saving people, hunting things, indeed.

Several times, Castiel thinks about going to visit Sam, if only to assuage the grief he can still see the man carrying, but each time he stops. It hurts, but grief is a facet of life. This grief is natural. It comes honestly. It’s not manipulated by a sadistic higher being for a voyeristic pleasure.

Eileen comes out to the Impala and brings Sam back into the house with gentle touches. Throughout the years, she’s learned how to navigate Sam’s moods, and knows how to bring him back. They lay in bed, foreheads pressed together, Eileen’s body curved into Sam’s.

“I just,” Sam begins, twisting slightly so Eileen can read his lips, “I just miss him so much sometimes.”

“I know,” Eileen answers. It’s all she needs to say.

After a while, Sam gently wraps his fingers around Eileen’s wrist, partly for comfort, partly to grab her attention. “Dean’s baseball game is next weekend. Do we know yet if it’s going to conflict with Beth’s dance rehearsal?”

“It shouldn’t,” Eileen answers, and with that, the normal routine of their life is reestablished. The grief is always present, but it’s part of the human condition.

Castiel turns his eyes back to Heaven, where Dean waits for him. Despite it being Heaven, he insists on making repairs to Bobby’s house as well as the Roadhouse, even when Castiel reminds him, for the hundredth time, that if he truly wanted to, he could fix these imperfections with a thought.

“Sometimes, you just have to do things the hard way,” he answers, through a mouthful of nails.

Castiel rolls his eyes and goes to help him.

---

The morning dawns, quiet and gentle. The dawn is silvery-gold as it stretches across the grass leading up to the cabin. In the distance, the birds start singing. Castiel can smell the fresh scents of spring, dew clinging to the grass, the clean, bright potential in the air. His toes stick out from underneath the comforter, but a quick flip of his foot flicks the corner of the blanket back into place.

A warm, heavy arm winds over his waist. “Babe, it’s too early,” Dean mumbles into the nape of his neck. “Go back to sleep.”

Castiel strokes over the back of Dean’s hand. The words are tempting, but something has woken him up, and now that it has, he wants to know what it is. He props himself up on his elbows, ignoring the chill of the air as it bites at his bare skin, and concentrates. After a second, he startles.

“Dean,” he says.

Though he doesn’t put urgency or fear into his voice, something about his tone makes Dean open his eyes, suddenly alert. Castiel looks at him, and Dean rolls over onto his side. After their time together, they’ve mastered the art of the wordless conversation, much to the chagrin of Charlie, Kevin, and anyone within ten miles of them, at least according to Jo.

“It’s time?” Dean asks. He rolls closer to Castiel, stealing his warmth, as he trails his fingers over Castiel’s ribs.

“Yes,” Castiel answers, taking Dean’s hand in his and pressing kisses to each of Dean’s fingertips. “Won’t be long now.”

Dean’s fingers slide across his cheek before he curls his fingers around the bolt of Castiel’s jaw, pulling him down. Their lips meet in a chaste kiss which still manages to make fireworks explode in the pit of Castiel’s belly. He doesn’t think the thrill of kissing Dean will ever fade. Castiel doesn’t want it to.

“I should get going,” Dean murmurs, rubbing against the bristles on Castiel’s cheek. “You want to come along?”

Castiel relaxes back into the mattress, only reluctantly parting from Dean. “No, you go. I’ll be here when you get back.”

“I know.” Dean slides out of bed, and Castiel takes a moment to appreciate the play of his muscles underneath fair skin. He lets out a small, disappointed noise when Dean slides into a pair of jeans and a jacket, causing Dean to roll his eyes at him over his shoulders. “Yeah, keep it in your pants. Definitely wearing clothes to this particular meeting.”

“Shame,” Castiel murmurs, waggling his eyebrows.

“Shameless,” Dean corrects, leaning over the mattress to kiss Castiel once more, short and sweet. “We’ll be back before too long.” Another kiss to Castiel’s forehead, and then Dean murmurs, “I love you,” into his hair.

Castiel smiles. Much like kissing Dean, hearing those words will never grow old to him. He’ll revel in them, roll in the simple syllables, allow them to sink into him, with the simple truth that Jack tells him, that Charlie tells him, that Kelly tells him, that even Bobby and Ellen and Jo tell him.

You are valued. You are loved.

He smiles at Dean Winchester, this impossible, miracle of a man. “I love you too,” he replies.

Dean out of the bedroom. The door to the cabin opens and closes. Castiel rolls over onto his back and stretches, staring up at the ceiling.

There’s work to be done today. He’ll need to travel through Heaven, informing the various interested parties that Sam Winchester has arrived. There will be a party tonight at the Roadhouse, a celebration instead of mourning. Then he and Dean will get to show Sam their Heaven, will listen to Sam relate through his years.

There is so much work to do.

But they have time. They have all the time they need.

---

“Life never ends when you are in it.”--Lemony Snicket, The Beatrice Letters

1K notes · View notes

fanmoose12 · 4 years ago

Text

the devil you know

Сharacters: Hange Zoe, Levi, Moblit Berner, Zeke Yeagar, Armin Arlert

Genres: Action / Drama

Summary: Can you still miss a person, if everything you knew about them was a lie?

Сhapter 2/?

Chapter 1

Her first visitor was - quite unsurprisingly - Moblit.

He brought food, a change of clothes and even books to her. All of them - Hange couldn't help but note - were picked up to suite her interests.

Then he sat down next to her and proceeded to clean the small cut on her cheek, the one she received during the raid on Liberio, when one of the bullets flew almost too close for her to dodge.

"It's just a scratch," she whispered, still unable to meet his gaze. She did not deserve his kindness. She never did.

"It still might get infected," Moblit murmured, applying a soothing balm on the wound. Gentle, he was always so gentle with her. So patient too. Hange’s eyes started to sting.

"And why do you care?" she asked, staring at the wall in front of her. "Don't you..." she closed her eyes, wincing. Why did she care? He was an enemy, the devil of Paradise, and yet— yet her heart still squeezed painfully and her stomach was in knots. "Don't you hate me?"

Moblit sighed, putting away the med kit. He rose up from his kneeling position and joined her on a small prison bed.

"I tried," he confessed softly. "I tried hating you, so hard and for so long but I just… couldn't. You know when Captain Levi broke the news of your betrayal..." he chuckled quietly, running a hand through his hair. "I started crying. I thought how could you do that, after those years we've spent fighting side by side, how could lie to us like this? But then..."

"Then?" Hange echoed, her voice wavering.

"Then I remembered our first expedition," Moblit smiled. "The one where I almost got eaten. You saved me back there. Nearly got your hand bitten off but you saved me, and that made me realize, you didn't lie, not always anyways. You're an extraordinary person, Hange-san, but I don't think even you can pretend like this all the time. All these nights I carried you to your room after you fell asleep in your office and you murmured 'thanks' against my shirt, all these evenings we and the guys from our squad got drunk at the bars, all these times you made sure to check on me, when I got myself into infirmary, finding the time to do so, despite your crazy schedule... I know all of this wasn't a lie, it couldn’t be.”

He paused for a moment, staring at her with the same devotion he always did, the one that always made Hange’s throat go dry, because she had never deserved it. She – a traitor and a liar – never deserved Moblit’s kindness and affection. But even now, he didn’t seem to understand it.

“I can't hate you, Hange-san,” he murmured softly, “because I know that this betrayal hurt you as much as it did all of us."

He touched her hand, briefly squeezing it, and when Hange looked up, surprised that her vision is clouded, Moblit wiped off her unshed tears and gave her another kind smile.

"I'll come back in the evening. Please tell me if you need anything else. I can go to your room..."

"My room?" Hange startled. "You haven't cleared it out yet?"

Haven't they destroyed everything there - burned all of her papers and smashed all of her samples? Why not?

"Captain Levi forbade us from doing so," Moblit replied, and that seemingly simple revelation had Hange’s heart beating madly. Her shocked expression didn’t go unnoticed by Moblit. He chuckled heartily, muttering something to himself.

"Good day, Hange-san," he said at last, leaving her to deal with the bewildering news on her own.

***

Armin came to her next.

For the longest time, he just sat there, fiddling with something small, enclosed in his hands and out of her sight.

Hange ignored him, pretending to read one of Moblit's books and watching him from the corner of her eyes, waiting for Armin to speak up.

Was it his method of manipulation? If so, it wasn't working.

But as the silence stretched on, becoming tenser with each second, Hange struggled not to squirm in her seat. What was the meaning of this? What was he waiting for? And then, when she was ready to speak up and ask what the fuck he wanted with her, Armin finally looked up.

He rose to his feet and hid the mysterious object inside his jacket before Hange could see what it was.

"I'll have tea brought for us,” he announced. “Just wait for a minute."

"It's not like I can go anywhere," Hange muttered, rolling her eyes.

“Just a minute,” Armin repeated with a nervous laugh, and then hurriedly left.

Once the tea was brought, Armin let himself inside the cell.

"There you go," he murmured, handing Hange a white porcelain cup. It was one of the best that the scouts had, Hange knew that this tea set was only used for that rare instances, where they had to hold meetings with the highest members of the brass. And Armin decided to use this set to have a tea party with her? The hospitality was making her uncomfortable. Was that Armin’s intention too?

She accepted the cup, looking at the boy over its rim. "How are Gabi and Falco?"

"Don't worry," Armin smiled. "No harm will come their way. Their cell is not... as luxurious as yours is,” he gestured to the bed, desk and even small bookshelf that stood inside. “But they're in good hands, you can trust me on that."

"Thank you," Hange nodded and drank from the cup. Her eyes opened wide as she tasted the familiar sweet flavor. How did he—

"You should try biscuits too," Armin the pushed the plate closer to her. Hange glanced at them. Just as the tea, those biscuits were her favorite.

"We used to do it a lot, remember?" Armin said, easily deciphering the reason for her surprise. "With Mikasa, Eren and the rest of your squad..."

"I remember," Hange quietly answered. She took another sip, her throat suddenly going too dry.

Was this all a part of his plan? To make her feel as the most disgusting piece of shit in the world? Armin shouldn’t have bothered. She was quite good at it herself.

"Good times, eh?" Armin chuckled, putting a hand under his chin. “Those evening at the barracks… You told us so many things, had us hanging onto your every word. You had enough passion in you to carry on for the whole night, but Captain Levi never let us stay for too long…”

“Is that the reason for your visit?” Hange snapped, interrupting him. Every word from his mouth was making her more and more angry. She didn't need some barely adult to lecture her, trying to make her feel bad. What did he want to achieve with that? Make her realize how awful she is? She knew that already. “Did you come here to reminisce about the good old days? Don’t you have anything better to do, Armin?”

"Sorry," weird, but Armin looked genuinely apologetic. Was he always that good of an actor? Or did he learn the skill of deceit after she left? "It wasn't my intent to stir... some unwanted memories. I didn't come here for this. I actually... wanted to ask a question."

"Ask away," Hange allowed, crossing arms on her chest.

"I've been thinking about this a lot," Armin began, playing with a cup's handle. Looking like that – with his head bowed and his eyes cast down, he reminded Hange of the boy she knew four years ago. She almost believed in his sincerity. “Reiner and Berthold, Annie... they wanted to kill Eren. At the very least, take him away. Why haven't you attempted something like this? You had more than enough opportunities. Why didn't you use them?"

Why didn't she indeed. Deep down, Hange knew an answer to this question. But since she wasn't only a piece of shit, but a coward as well, she wasn’t ready to admit it, even to herself. And she sure as hell wasn’t going to admit to Armin too.

She had an answer for him, though. A reason she fabricated to placate her superiors and give herself at least some peace of mind.

"I've never seen an Attack Titan. Kruger died before I became a part of Titan Research Society. And..." she shrugged, and put on a bright smile, her only mask and best defense. "I wanted to study him so much that I was willing to ignore my duty."

"And thunder spears?" Armin asked. "Without them, we would have lost at Shiganshina. Why did you create them?"

"Same reason," she took a biscuit in her hands, biting into it. Her lie was so good, she herself started believing in it. "I was too fascinated by your technology. Couldn't pass the opportunity to find out what your natural resources are capable of."

"Ever the scientist?" something very close to admiration shone in Armin's big blue eyes. Hange quickly looked away, not giving her guilt an opportunity to resurface. She’d have time for that later, when left alone. “Thank you for your answer, Hange-san.”

“Is that all you’ve wanted to ask?”

“No,” Armin shook his head. He shifted his eyes back down, staring into his cup. He slowly span the spoon, lost in thought.

“I know it’s unwise,” he stated, tone uncharacteristically firm for a boy Hange once knew. “And I know that others may not… agree with me on this, but I wasn’t supposed to be in this position. Commander Erwin left it to you, you’re his true successor and I…”

Couldn’t be, Hange thought. Was it another one of his games?

“Are you asking for an advice, Armin?”

“I…” he chuckled, nervously ruffling his hair. “I guess I am. It’s just— everyone looks up to me now, thinking I’ve got all the right answers, but I don’t even know what the question is supposed to be. I’m trying to deal with the mess that the attack on Liberio caused, and now everyone is coming after me for putting Eren in jail, and—” Armin rubbed his face, his shoulders sagging. Hange started to feel sorry for the boy, she could only imagine how hard it was to call shots during times like this. “After you… left, I thought I’ve learnt my lesson. I thought I knew that you can’t trust everyone. But Eren isn’t just someone, he’s my best friend.”

I was someone’s best friend too once, Hange almost said. She was someone’s best friend too, and then she betrayed him.

Would he ever be able to forgive me, she wondered.

No, Hange shut that train of thoughts immediately. He wouldn’t. He was too smart to be that kind.

“He’s a family,” Armin solemnly continued, breaking her out of the reverie. “But after what he’s done in Liberio… I can’t even look him in the eyes.”

“He changed,” Hange said, as softly as she could. She contemplated covering Armin’s hand with hers, but she doubted he’d allow it. “People do that sometimes.”

“Yes,” Armin nodded. “I’m… learning to accept that.”

“I know you still care about him. You always will.”

She will always care about him too. God, she was pathetic. A spy and a traitor and she couldn’t do even that properly, forgetting the most important rule of ‘do not get attached’.

“But you can’t trust Eren anymore,” Hange told him.

Talking about trust? Well, wasn’t she a hypocrite. Another one of her many, many flaws.

“I know,” he sadly agreed. “But Eren is not the only one, who worries me. There is also a matter of Zeke Yeager…” Armin reminded.

She smashed the biscuit in her fist. Zeke, the bastard had played them all. And to think she used to admire him… More than just admire him.

“Don’t let Eren and Zeke converse,” she warned grimly. “Under any circumstances. Knowing what Zeke is capable of, and witnessing what Eren is capable of, it would be best if you separate them.”

“Separate them…” Armin mumbled, biting his thumb.

“Get Zeke out of the inner city,” Hange advised. “As far as you can. Perhaps…” she scratched her chin, thinking. “Perhaps, have him hidden in the Forest of Giant Trees.”

“Huh… that’s a very sound idea,” Armin slowly nodded, some tension leaving his body. That bright light returned to his eyes, and Hange relaxed at the sight of it. Seeing some of his worries disappear made her feel just a tiniest bit better about herself. “I can appoint Captain Levi as Zeke’s guardian, he won’t be able to make a single move then.”

“You do that.”

Just at the mention of him, all of her good mood had disappeared. It was a good thing that Armin decided to get him out of the city too. Perhaps, her heart wouldn’t get completely shattered then.

“Thank you so much,” Armin finally smiled, looking up at Hange.

With his puffy cheeks and big, bright eyes, he looked young, she couldn’t help but note. He was still just a boy. And already he had a burden on his shoulders Hange wasn’t sure she herself would be able to carry.

“I know it may not mean much to you, but you’re doing good, Armin. He—” Hange paused, clearing her throat. She still couldn’t say hisname. Commander Erwin Smith was an enemy, a biggest threat to their mission. But at the same time… he was a man she followed for five years of her life. He was a man she admired like no other. Erwin Smith was a friend.

And she missed him terribly.

“He would have been proud of you,” she finished hoarsely.

“Hange-san,” Armin rose, laying a hand on her shoulder. “I didn’t know Commander Erwin as much as you did, but I think… I think he would have forgiven you. If that’s any consolation, I already did.”

Fuck. Hange turned her face away, hiding her eyes. Starting with memories of their time years ago, bringing up Erwin, forgiving her… Was Armin so determined to make her cry?

“Thank you for your time,” Armin said at last, leaving the cell.

As soon as the door closed after him, she left the tears flow.

***

Then came Sasha. Naturally, with Connie in tow.

With wide eyes Hange stared at the variety of meals the pair brought inside her cell.

"Um..." she gawked at it, feeling utterly lost. "What is this?"

"It's food!" Sasha beamed.

"Yeah, I can see that but... What's the occasion?"

"I just thought they don't feed you in here," Sasha answered, skeptically looking Hange over. "It doesn't look like they do. You seem thinner than before."

The sight of Sasha with hands on her hips and her lips pressed together in displeasure made Hange feel inexplicably warm. She desperately tried to fight off a smile, but in Sasha's presence it proved to be an almost impossible feat.

Ah, well, she was always her favorite...

"Moblit takes care of my meals actually."

He came to her every morning and evening, bringing warm food and engaging conversations. His quiet, soft voice was the only respite from the demons in her head.

"Pfft," Sasha rolled her eyes. "And you're calling that food? This is food!" she gestured at the plates they’ve carried inside. "Just try it, Hange-san, it's delicious!"

"It's from Niccolo!" Connie said, grinning just as brightly. "He's a real master."

"And our friend!" Sasha added.

“Something more than a friend for Sasha," Connie corrected.

Red hue instantly appeared on Sasha's cheeks, and Hange couldn't resist anymore - she snickered in her palm.

"Let's eat before it gets cold," Sasha muttered, avoiding everyone's eyes.

As she busied herself with serving the table, Hange exchanged a look with Connie. The boy winked. Hange hid a smile.

As they ate, Sasha and Connie entertained Hange with stories of their everyday life. They told her about the time they pulled a prank on Jean and almost made him believe he grew ten inches taller overnight and spoke of an arm wrestling match between Mikasa and Levi that Levi, to his immense shame, had lost.

They talked so animatedly, described everything with such vivid details that Hange felt like she actually had been present when all of it had happened.

Truthfully, she desperately wanted to.

"Thanks for the meal, guys," breathing heavily, Hange sat back in a chair. She turned her face away, unable to even stare at the food. Sasha was right, the food Moblit brought her - as good as it was - didn't compare to Niccolo's. As a result, she was completely stuffed. "It was delicious."

"And talking with you had been fun," Connie said.

"It's good to see you again," Sasha admitted with a kind smile that warmed Hange’s heart.

Sasha and Connie managed to make feel better than she had been in days since Liberio. Truth be told, they made her feel better than she had been since leaving the island all these years ago.

The kids rose from their seats, moving in perfect sync.

Just like twins, Hange thought with another smile.

They moved around the table, picking up the plates.

"You go, Sasha," Connie spoke as soon as they finished. "I'll catch up with you."

"Eh?" Sasha frowned. "What do you—"

"Go," he gave her a push, still refusing to meet her gaze. "I need a moment with Hange-san."

"And why must you throw me away..." Sasha complained , shaking her head. She gave Connie another look, filled with suspicion, huffed in annoyance and then walked out of the dungeons, leaving them alone.

Connie waited until the sound of a large metal door closing was heard and then looked up at Hange.

"Hange-san," the boy seemed a bit nervous. Hange wondered about the reason for a sudden change in his demeanor. She wanted to ask, but Connie suddenly appeared beside her. Without giving her time to react, he wrapped his arms around her. Hange stood still, not knowing how to react. "Thank you for saving Sasha,” he whispered. “I don't know what I would have done without her."

Oh god, again? Were those kids going to make her cry again? She had to resist it. She was a Marleyan soldier, one of the strongest and toughest they had. She could do it.

But then Connie had the gall to press his forehead to her shoulder, sniffling quietly, and Hange felt her resolve shutter.

She quickly wiped at her eyes. "I'm glad I managed to get there in time,” she said, more honest that she had been in a long time. “This world would have lost a lot of light if Sasha was gone."

"My world would be completely dark," Connie agreed, letting go of her. He took a step back, looking at Hange with a wistful smile that reminded her that he wasn’t the same naive boy anymore. None of them were. "Thank you again. I meant it when I say it’s good to have you back. We’ve all missed you terribly, Hange-san.”

Thankfully, he left before her face became covered in tears once again.

***

Jean came to her too. Many times, actually. He paced around the cell, he touched the bars, pulled on them.

But he never entered.

He tried to be sneaky about it too, coming down to the dungeons well after midnight. But his steps were too heavy, and Hange was a spy, and before that – a soldier. She was trained to be a light sleeper practically since birth.

However, she said nothing. Giving him the time he needed was the least she could do. Besides, she knew Jean. The boy was not a coward, she knew he’d certainly come around.

And on the fourth day since the Raid on Liberio, he finally did.

He marched inside her cell, looking like a man going to war.

"Why did you do it?" he slammed his hands on the table, right under Hange's nose.

She slowly looked up from a book she was reading. "You have to be more specific, Jean. I did a lot of things."

"Sasha!" he said with barely conceived rage. "Why did you save her?"

Hange put the book down and crossed her legs at the ankles. She looked at Jean carefully, raising an eyebrow. "You didn't want me to?"

"That's not it!" Jean growled. He shook his head and then continued in a much calmer voice. "You know that's not what I meant.”

Plopping down on a chair next to Hange, he hid his face in his hands and took a deep breath. "I just don't understand it..." he muttered. "We probably wouldn't have hurt those kids even if they did harm Sasha. So why did you do it? Why did you save her?"

Hange sighed. The answer was fairly simple. But everything it entailed – not so much.

"I didn't want her to die."

Jeans studied her pensively. "Isn't that what every Marleyan wishes for? To kill as much Eldians as they can? They sent you here with the same reason, no?"

Hange gave him a sharp look. "No. My mission was to survey and investigate. I wasn't ordered to harm or kill you."

Truth was - she probably wouldn't be able to, even if ordered.

Getting too soft, Zoe, a voice that resembled Zeke's sneered in her head. Hange ignored it, swatting it away like an irritating fly.

"God, you really are making this so hard for me," Jean mumbled, shaking his head.

"What exactly?"

"Hating you," Jean replied. "I spent four years hating you. You and Berthold and Annie and Reiner... I despised them for betraying us, for lying and pretending, but you... Your betrayal shook me to the core. I thought I was ready for it, you know?" he looked at her, staring right into her eyes and showing her all of his raw emotions. Hange hated herself just a little more for causing him so much distress. "I thought that after Reiner and Berthold, nothing can hurt me. But I trusted you so much. I respected and admired you. Between unwavering Commander Erwin and aloof Captain Levi, I thought you're the only one who gives a damn about us."

Hange stared back at him, not knowing what to say. Tell him that he wasn't wrong? That, despite everything - her orders, her beliefs and upbringing - she still cared? A lot of good her care did.

“I looked up to you, you know?" Jean continued, gazing up at the ceiling with a bitter smile. "Thought you're a real badass. Well, you still are, for what it's worth. Managed to fool us all, I couldn't believe it, when Captain told us that you left. No one could. Commander Erwin even wanted to call off the expedition to Shiganshina."

Erwin wanted to call off the expedition? The stoic, cold-blooded Erwin? She had trouble believing it was true.

And her heart was having trouble shouldering all that pain. She really was a piece of shit, wasn’t she? She played with their feelings, betrayed those, who actually cared about her, and for what? For a nation whose only motivation was greed, for a war that was justified solely by prejudices?

“He didn’t name another successor, by the way,” Jean revealed. “Technically, we still don’t have a Commander. I guess no one could fill those shoes, except you.”

“Please,” Hange scoffed. “I would have done a terrible job.”

“You’re selling yourself too short,” Jean protested, shaking his head. “Commander Erwin himself believed in you. That's gotta count for something."

"Erwin didn't know me."

It was Jean's turn to scoff. "Are we talking about the same Erwin Smith? The myth, the legend?" he rolled his eyes. "He may not know everything, but he knew you. Enough to entrust his legacy to you. You're not as bad as I was making you out to be, Hange-san. Actually," Jean tilted his head, his eyes softening. "You're not as bad as you think you are."

Hange turned her face away, hiding from his intent gaze. Jean’s words stroke a chord she didn’t she think she still possessed. So pathetic. After all these years, and she still yearned for acceptance.

"You never did any harm to us,” Jean went on. “Never hurt us, at least not physically. You helped us a lot actually. Your research and inventions… Have you realized what you were doing? I think some part of you certainly has."

"Besides, after all that shit that's been going on, we can't exactly be called good guys either,” he sighed, pushing the hair back from his face. “Maybe, you and I have more in common that I'd like to think.”

Again, Hange was at a loss for words. Should she thank him for making her feel better? No, she was already pitiful enough.

"Just something to think about," Jean finished, getting to his feet.

He fixed his uniform, brushing the invisible dust from his shoulders. Hange stole a glance at him, marveling at how much he had changed. If she had been his commander, she’d be so proud of him. He had grown into a smart, kind man. Perhaps, a little too kind, she thought, recalling their conversation.

"I've never thought I'd say this," just before leaving, Jean turned to Hange, his hand gripping the bar of her cell. "But I'm glad our paths have crossed again. It looks like there are still lots of things I can learn from you."

***

At last, Levi came.

Hange didn't hear him enter the dungeons. She was in the middle of reading a book when she got a strange, prickling feeling. She looked up, almost jumping as she instantly met Levi's grey eyes. They seemed especially cold this time. Have they always been like this? She was sure they weren’t. At least, not when they were directed at her.

As their gazes connected, he said nothing. He continued to watch her, and the weight of his gaze was so heavy, she felt like she couldn't breathe.

"Erwin is dead," he finally said. Impossible, but his eyes became even colder. "Killed at Shiganshina. Did you know that?"

"I read the report."

She wasn't present at the battle, Zeke had advised against that.

"It's too dangerous for you, Professor," he had said. "Attack Titan, Ackermans and those scouts, it would be best if you sit this one out. It'd be a shame if we lost a mind as brilliant as yours. Besides," his lips curled into smirk then, a knowing glint appearing in his eyes. To this day, Hange wasn't sure if he had been joking or not. "You lived with them for so long, your feelings are compromised. I'm sure you're filled with desire to kill them all."

Funny thing, Hange thought back then. Because if she had been thrusted into that battle - she wasn't sure she'd be able to fight for the side she was supposed to.

"In a report?" Levi sneered. "Your buddy Zeke must have bragged to hell and back about it."

Levi's words, even filled with so much distain and mockery, weren't that far from the truth. The voyage back to Marley had not been a happy affair. They almost lost Zeke, they almost lost Reiner, they've lost Berthold. Sweet, timid Berthold, Hange liked him so much. After Pieck's titan, his colossal was the most intriguing test subject. Soft and caring Bertold died, and she could only imagine how hard it was for Reiner. The poor boy didn’t speak throughout the whole journey back home.

“After being away for so long, you’d think he’d be happy that the mission is finally over,” Pieck noted, whispering her observations in Hange’s ear. “But then again,” she turned to her, her sharp eyes narrowing ever so slightly. “You don’t look so excited either.”

Hange paid her no mind then, even if Pieck had suspected something, what of it? She was going home, and those Eldians – those people she lived with for five years – didn’t matter anymore. But Reiner did, and Hange watched him, intently, wondering what she could do to make him feel better. She wanted to comfort him, she even approached him and words "I know how it feels" almost slipped down her tongue. But she stopped herself at the very last moment. I know how it feels. Did she really?

She lost people before - a tall blonde man with a goofy smile who gave the best hugs, a blond woman with the most infectious laughter, the adorable petite girl who always looked at her with stars in her eyes, a cheerful young man in glasses who copied most of her gimmicks, the serious brunette who followed her every command - with every loss a part of her soul died, but could she really call them friends? They did not know her, and if they did, they would have never accepted her.

He wouldn’t have accepted you too, a malicious voice whispered in her ear.

The proof of that statement was staring her down at the very same moment.

Unable to escape Levi’s seething gaze, Hange remembered what Zeke had told her then, when she regrouped with them at Shiganshina.

“You did not mention those scouts are that crazy. To sacrifice so many people just for a chance of victory?” Zeke had scoffed, cleaning his glasses. “I just can’t understand it.”

You never will, Hange thought back then. Those brave, young soldiers. Her heart bled for them.

“And that Ackerman,” he continued. “To think they call me a beast titan. I thought I was done for. All that rage and blind hatred and all of it because of some Commander.”

“Erwin Smith.”

“What?”

“His name was Erwin Smith,” Hange repeated, her voice brimming with emotion. She blinked away tears. She would not cry, not right now. Not when Zeke was looking at her so closely. “And he wasn’t just some Commander.”

She left Zeke’s side quickly afterwards, afraid that she’d be unable to hold back her own rage. Some Commander? Erwin was much more than that. Even as Marleyan, she was able to understand that.

“Did you know about Mike too?” Levi asked, pushing himself off the wall he was leaning against. “And about Nanaba?”

She did, of course, she did. Zeke had sent her the letter, retelling everything he did to Mike in horrid, morbid details. Reading that letter, Hange struggled not to throw up. She could almost hear his screams, could almost see the horror in his eyes.

To not be simply eaten by a titan, but getting torn apart by them? Hange couldn’t imagine a fate more horrible.

The terror of it all didn’t leave her for the longest time. It was only in his arms – in Levi’s strong, gentle arms – that she managed to find some respite. She hated herself for it, but when he wiped her tears with his lips, whispering soft, soothing words in her ear, she could almost pretend to forget.

“And about Ragako?”

Amidst her inner turmoil, Hange missed the moment when Levi entered the cell. Now he was standing right beside her, looming over with dark, angry expression.

“Did you know about those people? About what was going to happen to them?” Levi wasn’t an expressive man, but his eyes showed it all. In a life where she pretended to be a mad scientist and a survey corps’ squad leader, she prided herself at being one of the few, who could read those eyes. But she could see nothing inside them right now. Levi’s face was completely blank, his emotions closed off. “Did you know what was going to happen to Connie’s mother?”

That was it, the final nail in her coffin.

And to think that just the other day, the boy was thanking her. Her, who condemned his mother, who destroyed his home.

Hange closed her eyes, taking a deep, shaky breath. She gripped the chair under her tightly, quelling the trembling. She would not break, not in front of him.

“What do you want, Levi?” she glanced at him beneath her hair. “What do you wish to hear? That I reveled in every death? That I sneaked out to the island to dance at Erwin’s grave?”

Levi pressed his lips in a line, a deep scowl forming on his forehead.

It was the same expression he had when looking at Zeke, Hange realized.

She thought her heart couldn’t break anymore. Apparently, he was wrong.

“I’m just wondering,” he said. “If there was ever anything sincere in you. Have you even felt something? After all these deaths, do you at least feel guilty?”

“If that’s what you think of me?” she looked him in the eyes, surprised to see something coming alive inside them. “If I’m a monster you think I am, what was the point of bringing me here? Why haven’t you just killed me? Surely that would have given you some peace of mind.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Levi surged forward, grabbing her by the collar. His grey eyes bore in hers with intensity that she had rarely seen. Inside them was an emotion she couldn’t quite decipher. “Shut your stupid mouth, four-eyes. Do you really not get it? After everything you put me through, after all these fucking lies, I’d still rather die than harm you.”

He pushed her away, turning on his heels and storming out of the cell. To the sound of his quick, heavy steps, Hange slowly slid to the ground. Her knees gave under her, as she realized – it was not anger that she had seen in Levi’s eyes.

It was pain.

“Fuck,” she murmured, hiding her face in her hands.

#devils of paradise harass the poor marleyan and make her feel things #that's it that's the chapter #levihan

108 notes · View notes

swga-ficrecs · 3 years ago

Text

june 2021 recap

ahh june was a really fic-filled month!!! i used to be a silent reader but then i realized that it’s hard to go back to the fics i really liked reading since i had no way of finding them except for remembering key words and googling the shit out of it lol so!!! i thought of doing a monthly recap of all my favorites in addition to the fics i like and reblog. thank you to these wonderful authors who just write pure magic ✨

🏆 holy grail | ☀️ fluff | 🌧 angst | 💋 smut.

fave authors

🏆 @minyoongijjangjjangmanboongboong

HOLY GRAIL AUTHOR!!! Loved a lot of their series because of the tropes and the plot. I’ll definitely come back to their fics in the future for another binge reading session

@taecalikook

Really loved their fuckboy trope fics. Has a few unfinished fics I’m excited to binge read once they’re completed

🏆 @gukyi

Discovered their work back in 2017? Really loved IGYMH and reread their masterlist this month

@ve1vetyoongi

All I can remember is the ending of Mic Drop and I can’t 😭 I’m really excited for their unfinished fics!!!!

fave fics

Arranged by @.minyoongijjangjjangmanboongboong 🏆 ☀️ 🌧

Pairing: chaebol MYG x student reader

Y/N is a struggling student in Seoul: working multiple jobs, living in a broom closet apartment, and often sacrificing her dignity for the sake of her livelihood. What happens when a handsome stranger presents her with an offer she cannot refuse at the moment she needs it most?

Dissonance by @.minyoongijjangjjangmanboongboong 🏆 🌧 ☀️

Pairing: bassist KTH x student / band manager reader

The Parting by @.minyoongijjangjjangmanboongboong 🏆 🌧 ☀️

Pairing: flower shop owner PJM x reaper reader

The only certainty in life is death, and it seems to follow Park Jimin. All his life, the icy shadow of death has hung closely by his side, along with the shadow of…something else. Reapers exist to guide the souls of the living to the world beyond. But what happens when a particular Reaper tampers with the natural order and saves a mortal boy’s life? What will they do once their fates become inextricably linked?

From Home by @gyukult 🏆 ☀️ 🌧

Pairing: chaebol JJK x reader

jungkook is the youngest of five boys, the last in line to truly inherit any his parents’ money. but what if his mom suddenly cuts him off due to his current poor behavior and he’s forced to learn how it feels like to be part of the working class?

(Not) Just Friends by @.taecalikook 🏆 ☀️ 🌧

Pairing: Bestfriend / fuckboy / fratboy JJK x reader ft. KSJ

Befriending the fuckboy with devilishly handsome face and emotional capacity of a pea is not your choice, especially when you met him when you were in fifth grade, attracted for the unhealthy vermilion shaded face of the nerd he was that fateful day. So was Jungkook, as he is already putting strictly platonic label on your forehead and calls it a day. But it is only a matter of time before everything changes, and it only takes a frat party, lots of booze and… a certain Kim Seokjin.

Partiality by @jiminimoon 🏆 🌧

Pairing: Husband PJM x reader

You and Jimin argue about your kids not loving you two equally

Brown-eyed Baby by @jeonstudios 🏆 ☀️ 🌧 💋

Pairing: Single Parent JJK x reader

a lost child at the mall. eyes from a different time.

I’ll Give You My Heart by @.gukyi 🏆 ☀️ 🌧

Pairing: CEO bestfriend MYG x reader

gift exchanges are cool. gift exchanges with your ceo-slash-best friend min yoongi are less cool, because what the hell are you supposed to get the man that already has everything?

The Truth Between Us by @.gukyi and @jimlingss 🏆 ☀️ 🌧

Pairing: Editor MYG x reader

a book deal should be the most exciting time of your life, but there seems to be a constant and omnipresent damper on your mood in the form of a certain min yoongi, who you would just cut out from your life, if he weren’t your editor. but then, the world shifts beneath your feet, and you begin to wonder if maybe you’ve always been looking at life from the wrong angle.

Love is Blind by @cinnaminsvga 🏆 ☀️ 🌧

[Final] Pairing: Fake boyfriend KNJ x reader

social media au where y/n posts a fake boyfriend application on twitter as a dare but ends up seeking something real in the long run (aka how to fall in love the zillennial way)

Love Grows Where You Go by @hueseok 🏆 ☀️ 🌧

Pairing: Fiancé MYG x reader

determined to make you and yoongi grow closer for your upcoming wedding in two weeks, your parents plan a trip for the both of you that lasts five days long. you know you should be ecstatic about it, considering your longtime crush on your fiancé, but by how you’re positive that he secretly despises your whole being, you don’t find this mini vacation with him something to look forward to. that is until things take an unexpected turn and suddenly, he makes it apparent he doesn’t hate you at all as you reckoned.

Give Me Love by @.hueseok 🏆 ☀️ 🌧

Pairing: Lawyer boyfriend KNJ x reader

you’ve been in a relationship with your boyfriend for over five years now, yet the talk of marriage has never been initiated between the two of you. of course, you try to somehow squeeze it in from time to time, but it seems like no matter what, namjoon just won’t take the hint

Cornfields and Cosmos by @jessikahathaway ☀️ 🌧 💋

Pairing: Alien MYG x reader

Cornfields: He was an alien. You were a girl. Can I make it any more obvious? Probably. It’s the one where Yoongi’s a cold alien that needs love too.

Cosmos: Yoongi and you had been travelling together for a long time. You’d begun the terrifying journey of becoming parents. When a new person arrives in a way you didn’t expect, you and Yoongi’s relationship is sent into a tailspin.

The Art of Craving by @venusiangguk ☀️ 💋

Pairing: Single parent DILF JJK x reader

jk takes you to a bbq at his friends house. the tri-tip is good but the creampie is even better.

fics to i’m waiting to finish before binge reading

What we are not ; Soulmates by @.taecalikook

Pairing: MYG x reader x KTH

you love yoongi with all your heart throughout these five years being in a relationship with him. you always thought he is the one — your one, even when the infamous soulmate signs are still not showing. yet you always wait, because you know it’s him you are destined to be with, forever. but what would happen if then his childhood best friend comes along, with the universe-signed telltales that you have been looking for true love in all the wrong places?

When the sea sleeps by @.taecalikook

Pairing: KSJ x reader

marriage should be based on love, but it’s not really the case with you and Seokjin. what’s more beneficial than two person who sworn off romances to get married out of obligation, right? but you should have known better, that keeping your heart straight from wanting someone like Kim Seokjin is next to impossible.

After Midnight by @.gyukult

Pairing: JJK x reader

jeon jungkook only likes seeing you after midnight.

Better With You by @ve1vetyoongi

Pairing: KSJ x reader

A part time job as a chef at Paradise Resort seems like the perfect way to spend your summer and save up some spare cash to open your own restaurant back home. That is until you cross paths with the CEO’s son who threatens to fire you if you don’t help him inherit his trust-fund-baby-fortune. How? By making you his fiancé. Well, his pretend fiancé at least.

Operation: Love Letters by @.ve1vetyoongi

Pairing: OT7 x reader

When every student on campus is going crazy about a survey that claims to make true love bloom, your best friend manages to convince you to join in on the fun — except you’re disappointed to find out that your results just seem to be lost causes. That is until a love letter from a mysterious secret admirer turns up and you find yourself on a mission to find the person behind the pen — but you quickly realise it’s going to be a lot harder than you initially thought when you have 7 possible bachelors to investigate, right? Operation: Love Letters a-go!

Remember Me by @.ve1vetyoongi

Pairing: OT7 x reader

Taehyung wants to be forgotten. Overwhelmed by his life as idol persona V, he longs to just be Kim Taehyung for once. Even if that means forgetting everything he ever knew

🏆 The Prince and His Rose by @vanaera

Pairing: Football player / Childhood bestfriend JJK x reader

Drabble series of “For a While”

The Heart Holiday by @.vanaera

Pairing: MYG x reader

Valentine’s Day is declared as an official holiday. However, private companies’ standards dictate it’s only for the people who are currently in a relationship. Unluckily for Y/N, she doesn’t have this year’s PRS’ (Proof of Relationship Status) “in a relationship” box ticked – the only ticket out she can have to enjoy one paid week of holiday leave away from her hellish job. And more unfortunately for Y/N, everyone around her is oh so conveniently currently committed in a relationship. Except for one person: Min Yoongi, Y/N’s biggest critic in every pitch meeting, the picky guy who always picks on her, and the most annoying jerk of the century. Desperate for that holiday leave, Y/N strikes Yoongi up with an offer: Fake date each other two weeks before February 14, just enough time for the Department of Relationship Management (DRM) to consider processing their PRSs. After Valentine’s Day, they will go back to their own ways and never speak about whatever that may happen during the plan. Good, plain, and simple. That is until, Yoongi uncharacteristically oh so enthusiastically agrees to Y/N’s offer, leaving her thinking that she may have bitten something too much more than she can chew.

My Time by @.vanaera

Pairing: JJK x reader

A future technology allows cops to jump in the past and future to investigate crimes that have happened and prepare for those that are about to happen. A simple hit-and-run turns into something more when Captain Jeon Jungkook finds himself as the victim of a culprit who cannot be identified by the system. Especially when the culprit seems to be the same person behind the new case that’s threatening the order in the justice organization. All goes haywire when Jungkook gets involved with Y/N L/N, the clairvoyant sketch artist who may be his only help to solve the case.

Lost Stars by @.hueseok

Pairing: JJK x reader

the last person you’d expect to be there for you is your roommate, jeongguk, on the night you break up with your cheating boyfriend; because as far as you’re concerned, the both of you aren’t exactly friends, and he definitely shouldn’t be running to get you upon hearing you sob via phone call.

so when he does, you begin thinking that maybe you’ve just been hard on him over the years, or perhaps he just liked pretending to be an annoying shit most of the time. either way, it becomes the beginning of an unexpected friendship finally blossoming.

Dexterity + Stupidity by @.hueseok

Pairing: JJK x reader

a drabble series that features surgical intern!jeongguk x surgical resident!reader as they go through their odd senior-junior relationship, obviously having the hots for each other and yet, frustratingly goes into twists and turns in order to properly act on it.

Crimson Grail by @.jessikahathaway

Pairing: MYG x reader

There were tales of the famed pirate Min Yoongi, Captain of the Crimson Grail. However, one meeting with him is hardly ever enough… One taste of adventure, and you were addicted.

Baby Talk by @.jessikahathaway

Pairing: PJM x JJK x reader

Jimin and Jungkook had been trying to get a surrogate for years. Finally when you agree to help them, their dreams seem to be coming true. But, dreams change…

Vegas, Baby by @.jessikahathaway

Pairing: KTH x reader

They say what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. What happens when there’s a little more legality to it than that?

Taming the Beast by @.jessikahathaway

Pairing: KTH x reader

You were the next in line to be the head of your village, when your mother gave you to the enemy to save your people from merciless slaughter. What happens when they try to Tame a Beast?

Owner by @.jessikahathaway

Pairing: JJK x reader

With your mother hounding on you (no pun intended), you decided to get a little help from a hybrid, who was also in need of assistance.

If Only You Knew by @agustdakasuga

Pairing: BTS x reader

From the start, you knew you wanted to be a hybrid rehabilitator. You needed to help these hybrids heal, learn to live with one another and lead normal lives. Even if they are all different, you hoped that they could give each other a new reason to live.

#monthly recap #bts fics #bts jungkook #bts jin #bts seokjin #bts yoongi #bts suga #bts rm #bts namjoon #bts jimin #bts v #bts taehyung #bts fic recs #bts fanfic

25 notes · View notes

anileahvictoria · 3 years ago

Photo

Adam Kendall from My Little House on the Prairie.

Cutie Mark: Adam has always had a fascination with law and thought about becoming a lawyer many times, but ultimately decides he could do more good as a teacher for the blind. His cutie mark was inspired by the saying that justice is blind, so the scales of justice represent balancing his love for the study of law with his responsibilities as a teacher, and husband, and the cloth is Lady Justice’s eye covering that makes her blind, just like Adam is.

I accidentally referred to Little House on the Prairie as My Little House on the Prairie, and this fan art was born. More on that later, It's time for a rant. Adam is my favorite character from the series until I got mad and left the fandom cause they did this beautiful man dirty, so It’s time to rant about it.

#1. The Romance. The romance between Mary and adam was totally out of the blue. When Merry goes blind, she's shipped off to blind school, and her teacher is this capable, intelligent and hard-working young man named Adam Kendal. His teaching still is very much tough love, and he doesn't take crap from his students. Mary starts as a reluctant, uncooperative, self-pitying, closed-minded student doing things like throwing her things across the room. Adam handles all this brilliantly, saying stuff like: if you're gonna make a mess, your gonna clean it up. Doesn't baby her or pitty her AT ALL. Exactly what she needs. After a few months, Mary's attitude changes drastically, and she's thriving thanks to Adam. But when Adam sits her down to teach her some piano, she has a moment of self-doubt:

Merry: I could never learn...

Adam: I wish you would forget about that. Some of the greatest writers and composers in the worl were blind.Have you ever heard of John Milton?

Merry: Well of course. He- he wrote Paradise Lost, one of my favorite books.

Adam: Well, he was also blind. Now, do you want to play the piano or not?

Merry: There wouldn't be enough time. You know my family's coming to take me home. They'll be here in a few days.

Adam: It's been a long time, hasn't it, since you've seen your folks?

Merry: It seems like a lifetime. Adam, I'm so scared. I mean... I know I'm ready to go home... But here it's- it's easy, and I've always got you to help me.

Adam: Merry, you can't depend on me forever. And I'll be leaving too.

Merry: Where are you going?

Adam: To Winoka, to start a new blind school.

Merry: Why didn't you tell me?

Adam: I don't know. It just never came up.

Merry: Then I'm glad I'm going home.

Adam: Merry, it's not that much different out there. Not really.

And now it gets all angsty:

Merry: Yes, it is. I wouldn't expect you to understand. How could you?

Adam: Mary...

Mary: The world isn't like the Burton school for the blind. It... It's a huge, dark place filled with... hidden obstacles and... strange sounds and voices coming from faceless people. Even you. I've never even seen you.

Adam: Well then look at me.

... And then they start feeling each other's faces and, correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure blind people don't actually do that...

And then it gets randomly and weirdly romantic...

Mary: What color are your eyes?

Adam: Blue.

Mary: Your hair?

Adam: Brown.

Mary: Thank you Adam.

Adam: ...What do you look like, Mary? Ive never seen you either.

Aaaand more face touching.

So apparently, they're a thing now. I'd understand if Adam fell for her cause she looks like a literal angel (seriously, no girl has any business looking that gorgeous), but Adam's blind too. So he's going ultimately off of personality, I'm guessing. And when he first meets Mary, she is not a pleasant person. Yes, she does improve quite a lot, but what makes her any different than all the other students he's taught? It certainly isn't their age, cause Adam's 22 and Mary's 15 (back then, I guess it wasn't a big deal). Also, It creeps me way out that her teacher falls in love with her. The man who spends most hours of the day alone with a vulnerable teenage girl falls in love with said girl AND THEN asks said girl to work for him at his new school in a busy city away from her family where it would just be Adam, Mary, one old man who lives on the top floor, and a few students, not to mention Mary would also be spending the nights there... It's a good thing this isn't that kinda show cause there's a million different ways that could've gone... But because this is Little House on the Prairie, nothing happens, and Adam asks Mary to be his wife soon after she moves in.

#2. Regaining his Sight And Becoming a Lawyer.

This really makes me mad. When Adam gets his sight back and sees the faces of all his friends and, most importantly, his wife for the first time. It's beautiful and wonderful and heaven knows the man deserves a miracle like that, BUT his whole character changes. He goes from a responsible teacher and loving husband who knows who he is and where he's meant to be, to an ambitious young man who would rather chase his dreams of becoming a lawyer than take care of his responsibilities to the school he started, the children he teaches, and the wife he loves. I can understand wanting to go and see the world and do things you couldn't do before, but sighted or blind, he has responsibilities. Mary is kinda left in the dust when Adam makes all these new sighted friends and drags her along to all his fancy lawyer parties while he plays games, runs around laughing and talking, and leaves Mary sitting in a chair all by herself. Like, he doesn't even consider how she must be feeling! He doesn't try to include her in conversations or introduce her to his new friends; she's just a pretty thing that sits there to be cared for. And the thing is, this is exactly what Adam was afraid would happen to him when Mary thought her sight was returning a few episodes ago! Now Adam's new fancy friends get him an opportunity to take some fancy tests to become a lawyer and Adam, without a second thought for Mary, goes off to take the test, not evening considering who would run the school if he passed and became a lawyer. Then some bad stuff happens, and he can't make it to the test, and I'm all relieved cause we all know he belongs with his wife teaching at the school and now he'll see things clearly and get his head off the cloud and onto the here and now. But nooooo, this whole time Mary is hoping he'd fail (and so am I), but when she sees how heartbroken he is, she goes and has a talk with the professor and convinces him to let Adam take the test. He finally relents, and Adam passes and becomes a lawyer, giving the school away to a wonderful woman who teaches there. This whole thing is treated like he made the right choice when he obviously isn't! Not I blame this on the time period the show was made in. Back then, a man had to be ambitious and provide for the family and leave the teaching and such to the woman, so back then, it was a good thing he went off and became a lawyer, but still, I'm mad. Correct me if I'm wrong, but when Adam hands the school over to the lady, Mary no longer teaches there, which means that Adam has taken away Mary's dream of teaching on top of not spending nearly as much time as he used to with her and (though he doesn't realize it and I don't think anyone brings it to his attention cause men are supposed" to do all the work) doesn't let her do things for herself.

#3. He's Fictional.

This one makes me the madest. At first, I turned a blind eye to all these flaws cause I assumed Adam Kendall was based off an actual person, like most characters in the series, but noooo. They made him up just for the tv series. This means his romance with Mary WAS totally random, and Mary staying in the same building as he did BEFORE they were married WAS the writer's choice, and Adam regaining his sight and leaving his wife and school in the dust WAS ALSO THE WRITERS CHOICE! AND he was basically just made to me Mary's husband because Mary doesn't marry or have children in real life. So yeah, my favorite character's development went down the drain. But oh well, that's what we have fanfic and fanart for, am I right? Oh wait, this show is old. No one's made any good fanart/fanfic. K, I'm gonna go cry now. Bye

Also, if anyone has a different opinion or point of view, please tell me about it. I'd love to go back to loving this character, so please change my mind 🥺.

#my little pony #fan art #my little pony fan art #little house on the prairie #little house on the prairie fan art #my little house on the prairie #blind #blind character #character design #adam kendall

8 notes · View notes

arcaneglitch · 3 years ago

Text

Transcript of Wilbur's latest lore stream: A Year Later

Note: This doesn't include the parts at the beginning and very end of the stream

It starts with Wilbur and Ranboo going to L'Manberg and ends with Wilbur talking about Pogtopia

Wilbur: Anyway, I’m excited. Let’s go to L’Manberg. Let’s go- oh to what was L’Manberg. It’s just a big glass thing now, isn’t it?

Ranboo: Yeah, yeah.

Wilbur: So let’s go and see it.

Ranboo: It goes by like “L’Manhole” now, apparently.

Wilbur: I’m not a fan. It’s kind of rude to L’Manberg’s history, you know?

Ranboo: Mhm.

Wilbur: It’s- um it’s called L’Manberg. It’s called L’Manberg. Not “Manburg”, not “L’Crater” or whatever… “L’Manhole”. I don’t care. It’s now L’Manberg. It’s always L’Manberg, ok. That’s just how it goes. But um, yeah. So that’s why- that’s why the song exists as it is and… oh there’s no glass.

Ranboo: Yeah, yeah. Seems to have changed a little bit.

Wilbur: Yooo! I actually didn’t know this was here!

Ranboo: Yeah! Yeah it’s even got the flag down there.

Wilbur: Oh it’s got the flag! Man, can we go down and see the flag? C’mon c’mon c’mon!

Ranboo: Yeah.

Wilbur: Get me down. Get me down there. (laughing) Shit I’m struggling to climb. I’m like a lemming! No I don’t care, I’m just gonna jump.

Ranboo: Oh ok. Careful.

Wilbur: Look at this, dude! Damn…

Ranboo: Yeah!

Wilbur: I really went down to bedrock, didn’t I? Holy shit I did- I did a number on this place. This is amazing!

Ranboo: Yeah.

Wilbur: Ahh! This is- see this is- this is what they deserve. Not that glass bullshit, you know? This is what it needed. It needed this like- this like beautiful overgrown like- it feels like- it feels like it happened now, you know? It doesn’t just feel like “oh yeah it’s a monument.” It feels like this- the you know, nature’s claimed it back and this is the world.

Ranboo: Yeah the- the book has kind of closed in a sense.

Wilbur: Yeah. Oh it got a la- oh look they’ve re- they’ve rebuilt the lake, man. And look they made the lake flow into like- this used to be real. This was a real river that connected about here into l- Is that… do you see that, Ranboo? Is that- is that Tubbo?

Ranboo: Oh yeah that’s Tubbo.

Wilbur: Hey Tubbo!

Tubbo, tearfully singing and playing piano: I heard there was a special place. Where men could go and emancipate-

Wilbur: Tubbo?

Tubbo: The tyranny- oh! Hello?

Wilbur: You ok? I haven’t seen you, dude, in fucking ages! Tubbo, you singing a little song?

Tubbo: Yeah. Yeah.

Wilbur: What are you singing? You singing the thing! Hold on, I’m coming, I’m coming, I’m coming. I’m coming man.

Tubbo: Where are you?

Wilbur: It’s m- I’m coming around. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Hold on, here I come. It’s Tubbo, man! I haven’t seen you in ages!

Tubbo: Wilbur.

Wilbur: Yeah I’m coming round man.

Tubbo: Yeah, haha.

Wilbur: Bro! It’s been-

Tubbo: Weird seeing you here.

Wilbur: What? What, in L’Manberg? That seems like the most normal place to see me, right?

Tubbo: Uhh. Yeah! Yeah, I suppose so.

Wilbur: I mean… Dude it’s so- I don’t even know what to say to you, man. It’s like- it’s like looking in- it’s like looking in a little mirror. You’re even wearing my suit still?

Tubbo: Oh, yeah.

Wilbur: How long have you been wearing that?

Tubbo: Oh I just put it on just for today. I was- y’know it’s been a year now.

Wilbur: Oh you’re down there now, ok.

Tubbo: Yeah I came over just to say hi.

Wilbur: Man you look good in it. Ranboo, have you met Tubbo?

Ranboo: Yeah! Yeah I- I- I’ve met him. I mean we umm… been around.

Wilbur: That’s really- Tubbo! I’m really really happy to see you, man. Dude, do you know-

Tubbo: Oh! Thank you.

Wilbur: Do you even know what’s happened since…

Tubbo: What do you mean what’s happened?

Wilbur: Holy crap. I saw you briefly, man. When I was resurrected. I remember you super super briefly but this is the first time we’ve actually gotten to speak. I- I- ok I will admit I was a little bit overwhelmed during that whole thing, you know. It was a bit-

Tubbo: Yeah.

Wilbur: It was a bit- you know, I was running across the glass, which thank god it’s gone. Like Jesus. Like this is far more apt. But like I was running across the glass- I’m sorry I wasn’t, you know… entirely on the same page, but man I promise you I’ve calmed down. You know, I’m all- I’m all settled in. I understand, you know, what’s changed, what hasn’t, who’s new, who’s old. You know, who’s still about, who- who uh…

Tubbo: Yeah, I mean-

Wilbur: Who trusts me and stuff, you know, it’s-

Tubbo: Did they fill you in with the story of like, what happened here after you died?

Wilbur: Yeah. They did, they did. Uh, it’s… I’ll be honest with you, it’s not a pretty one, uh, I- I kind of left a bit of a ripple. Uh, if I were- if there- if I was a rock dropped in a lake, I’m a pretty big rock, uh-

Tubbo: Yeah.

Wilbur: Which, I can’t say I’m not- you know I’m not flattered. I mean, I am flattered but I’m not- I’m not too y’know, upset about- I quite like that, I quite like being a big ripple. But- but- but Tubbo, more than anything, more than anything, I wanna say to you super simply, man. Super simply, man, I just wanna say I- (sighs) I wanna say I’m sorry. Uh, for one- for one thing mainly, uh… I’ve been thinking about this for ye- literal years. Literal years I’ve been thinking about this. Uh, I’m sorry for uh, I’m sorry for making you president. Specifically before blowing it up. And I’m sorry for when I- when I did this (gestures at L’Manberg) and blew all this up and making this hole. I’m sorry that I uh, I said that you were the president of a crater. I just wanna say I’m sorry. I’m really really sorry. I really am.

Tubbo: I mean it wasn’t- this wasn’t all you, Wilbur.

Wilbur: We’ll get to that. Do you- just- what’s- ok uh do you forgive me?

Tubbo: I do forgive you. I do.

Wilbur: Man! My little- my little treasury. Secretary Treasury, man. Remember that?

Tubbo: Yeah, yeah. I remember that.

Wilbur: When you were Secretary Treasury. Ranboo, he was- he was the Secretary Treasury. And then he was president!

Ranboo: Yeah!

Wilbur: And then he was president.

Tubbo: Yeah, I’m pretty sure the treasury was, like somewhere there.

Wilbur: Yeah… Wait, what were you saying about me not being the one who blew it up?

Tubbo: Well, I mean… you- you definitely blew it up, but I feel like you’re missing some vital information.

Wilbur: Well- well how long did it- what- so you rebuilt it? What? How long did it re- how long did it stand before this happened?

Tubbo: Yeah, so… me and mainly Ghostbur, honestly. Like…

Wilbur: Ghostbur (derogatory).

Tubbo: Blood and sweat, like went in- he put so much effort into making everything right again.

Wilbur: Right, is he this obsidian crap, then, I take it? And these-

Tubbo: Oh no! Well, I mean-

Wilbur: Fucking dumb lanterns up here.

Tubbo: Dream.

Wilbur: Well yeah, I know Dream! Yeah.

Tubbo: Yeah, well-

Wilbur: I love him! I love Dream. Dream’s- Dream’s like probably my favorite per- sorry Ranboo, I mean, you know, no contest here but I mean, Dream’s probably my- my- my favorite person. He saved me! He brought me back to life.

Tubbo: Oh! Oh… Well, um… oh yeah, um, I mean he was part of it, I guess, but um… Techno and Philza- yeah they um…

Wilbur: Wait Techno and Phil blew this up?

Tubbo: They built this big obsidian contraption, like, overnight. I couldn’t even see it coming and they rained TNT for days.

Wilbur: Wait that’s… hold on. Why would- why would Techno and Phil do this? Why would Techno and Phil wanna blow up L’Manberg? Didn’t they live here? I mean, I don’t know about Techno but-

Tubbo: No, Techno and Phil, they hated the government. I mean, it was partially my fault as well.

Wilbur: But you didn’t blow it up.

Tubbo: No, I didn’t. I would never have wished for anything like this to happen.

Wilbur: Then it was just Techno and Phil?

Tubbo: ...Yes.

Wilbur: Sorry, that’s kind of hit me. Not- not the blowing up part! I mean, that- I’ve done that, you know, I’m not- I’m not shaken up about that. The thing I’m shaken up about, man, is that (laughs) you rebuilt this? After I’d gone!

Tubbo: Well I can’t take all the- I can’t take all the credit, obviously, but-

Wilbur: Oh yeah the- yeah the- fucking ghost- you ca- man, you rebuilt this! Bro, you- fuck a grave! I was so pressed about not having a grave. Screw a grave! I built something that you- that you love- that you wanted to preserve, that’s-

Tubbo: Yeah, I really, honestly, I mean-

Wilbur: Tubbo, that’s worth more to me than a grave. That’s worth more to me than this shrine. That’s worth more to- Tubbo this is probably the best gift I’ve ever been given, just this knowledge, that you actually cared enough to rebuild this community after it fell.

Tubbo: Oh, I’m glad you’re happy.

Wilbur: You- (laughs) I’m sorry… Oh, man… Tubbo, thank you.

Tubbo: I mean, I- it’s alright, I’ve just- I feel lost without L’Manberg. All my core beliefs, everything died with it.

Wilbur: You feel lost without- without your nation.

Tubbo: I have no purpose anymore. What’s the point?

Wilbur: I guess that’s where anarchy fails… Tubbo. I have a little- a little thing going. It’s not big, it’s nothing much yet, you know, it’s just- it’s not a big deal! You know, it’s a- it’s a little burger van at the moment, but I’ve got big plans, big plans for it. Uh, Tubbo, it’s called Paradise. I was wondering if you-

Tubbo: Paradise?

Wilbur: Yeah. Would you like to come join me in- in Paradise? Literally.

Tubbo: Hmm… I- I’m not sure, Wilbur. I’m not- I’m not sure I trust you, man. I need to- in order to follow someone, I need to trust them.

Wilbur: Wait… (laughs) But you- I thought you forgave me! I thought it was- you know, you-

Tubbo: Yeah, Wilbur, I forgive you because I like to hang onto the hope that people can change, but I don’t trust you yet, Wilbur.

Wilbur: Ok. Well Tubbo, I’ve literally- I was dead for thirteen years. I know it wasn’t long for you! I know it was only a couple months for you, but thirteen years, Tubbo. Thirteen years of my life. I aged! Look at me! I’m not- I’m not the same young man you knew! I- I’ve been through it and in those thirteen years, Tubbo, I wasn’t just sat twiddling my thumbs just going “ooh this is nice! I’m in darkness right now!” you know, I was- I was thinking! I relived that explosion in my head so many times, man, and- and- and I… I get that you don’t- you don’t trust me, I do, but like, man, look at me, bro! I’m not gonna do it again! I’m not gonna- I’m not gonna hurt you again. I’m not gonna, you know… I know you had that- you- at the festival? With Technoblade? I never spoke to you properly about this… I… I could’ve saved you.

Tubbo: But you didn’t.

Wilbur: I- Tubbo, I’m- I’m reaching out to you here, man, I’m- I’m on my knees, bro. Like, I- I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry and I really- and I- literally, your forgiveness means so much to me but it doesn’t- it doesn’t give up what I did to you and it doesn’t give up how I failed you as a friend… you know, as a- I mean fuck- as a coworker. Just, you know, anything. And- Ranboo, you might not’ve known all of this and I’m really sorry if it’s your first time hearing it. I can explain later on, but like-

Ranboo: Alright.

Wilbur: Tubbo, like (laughs) man, I’m- I wanna make it up to you and you know what? I appreciate that you don’t trust me yet. I do.

Tubbo: Wilbur in order for you to gain my trust back, you have to prove it first. I can’t just give it out anymore. I used to be able to but I just- I just can’t.

Wilbur: Tubbo, I- I really appreciate it. And I mean that genuinely. I appreciate it. And I’m gonna go out and I’m gonna prove to you that I’m worth being trusted again. I promise. I’ll do it!

Tubbo: Ok.

Wilbur: I’ll do it! I’ll redeem myself! And you’ll- you’ll-

Tubbo: You know I still have dreams, right? Of the explosion and- and of the fireworks and- and all of it. I- I still- I vividly see all of it every day… It hurts. It hurts a lot, Wilbur.

Wilbur: I- Tubbo, I- Tubbo, Tubbo- I know- Tubbo, Tubbo, Tubbo please! I- I know... I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I… it feels like such a weak word. I feel like there’s nothing stronger that I can say. And I- and I understand what you mean about how my actions need to reflect it and they will. Give me time. I’m gonna- I’m gonna make something. I’m gonna make something of this. And I’m gonna… um… Tubbo, do you know how fucking strong you are? And I’m not- I’m not just saying- trying to say this- I- I’ve got your forgiveness and I know I need to earn your trust but man, I just wanna let you know, I… you’re so strong, man. Genuinely. You j- just the fact that you proved to me just there. That you- you have these memories and you have these nightmares and you still found it in your heart to forgive me, thats… (sighs) you’re a fucking champion, man. You’re a- you’re a hero. Look, I get you don’t wanna join me in Paradise. We won’t talk about it any more, but… come on. At least come and see! Come and see what me and Ranboo have done! Look, I- I dunno- Ranboo, are you and Tubbo friends? Are you and Tubbo like, good friends?

Ranboo: Umm, yeah. Yeah. I’d say so.

Tubbo: Mhm.

Wilbur: Yeah well why don’t you come and, you know, come and see what I’ve made! Come and see what I’ve got going on, at least! Come on man, let’s go, let’s go! Ranboo, Tubbo!

Tubbo: I… I think I’m gonna stay here, Wilbur. I think I’m more- I’m fine just to stay here.

Wilbur: No, no. Man, man... No worries. Look at me. Look at me, bro! Bro! Chin up! Look. Lucky rabbit’s foot!

Tubbo: Ok…

Wilbur: Tommy gave this to me, man. Lucky rabbit’s foot.

Tubbo: Lucky rabbit’s foot.

Wilbur: Lucky rabbit’s foot, man. Chin up! Come on, I’ll- Ranboo I’ll- I- you can come, man. It’s cool. Let’s go. Let’s go.

Ranboo: Yeah, I will. I will, I will. (to Tubbo) Do you need me to- do you need me to stay here?

Tubbo: N-no, I- (sniffs) I would like to be left alone, please!

Ranboo: Oh. You sure? I mean, I can- I can stay…

Tubbo: Yes! I’m fine!

Wilbur: Ranboo! Ranboo! Let’s go, man.

Ranboo: Sure. Ok. Yep! Let’s- let’s go.

Wilbur: See you, Tubbo! I’ll send a letter!

Tubbo: Uh-huh.

Wilbur: Alright. Come on, Ranboo.

Ranboo: Alright.

Wilbur: (sighs) Oh, man… This is- I mean I’ve gotta- I’ve gotta, you know, I was gonna say “this is hard” but obviously it’s hard. I mean, I’ve…

Ranboo: It is difficult, yeah.

Wilbur: It’s- it’s difficult. It’s difficult, man. But you know, it’s- it’s gonna get better! It’s gonna get better and it’s gonna be worth it when I see them smiling. All of them.

Ranboo: Yeah!

Wilbur: Tubbo, Jack, Niki, Tommy… Anyone! Do you know who the original L’Manberg group were? Do you know who we were?

Ranboo: I- oh, I think I know most of them, yeah. I think it was like, you, Jack, Niki, and Fundy I believe as well…

Wilbur: Mhm. Fundy was a bit after. Fundy was after we’d gotten it-

Ranboo: Hmm. Yeah I don’t really- I don’t really know much about the L’Manberg history.

Wilbur: That’s alright. No, you’ve got it down! That’s correct. It’s- it was- it was that group and uh, we um… yeah we fought against Dream, uh… and we managed to- we succeeded! And we created a- a life for ourselves- Ranboo, I’m gonna tell you something I’ve never really told anyone. I try- I try and keep this on the low because I don’t want uh, I don’t want people to use it against me, is the main problem. I d- I didn’t even tell Tommy! I lied to Tommy, I’ll be honest. I- I’m gonna tell him soon that I lied to him because it- it kinda eats away at me. But I told- I told Tommy that- that I didn’t actually care about L’Manberg and that it was just, like, a tool for me to use to gain like, you know, power and stuff but it’s not- it’s not true. L’Manberg is- was really important to me and it is still, to this day, I- I- I want it to, um, I want- I want it’s history to live on, not as a stain caused by me, you know. I basically took a big shit on the history books, it feels like. I wanna- I wanna make it- I wanna make it feel like it was, you know, it was something that happened, you know. It was a great thing! You know, think of the good times, the- the years of safety that- well, not years but you know, the- the time of safety! The time of fun! Prosperity, you know! We built parks! We- we had, you know, no taxes. We had big walls. We had democracy! Albeit a slightly disjointed version of it, but you know… I want- that’s how people remember L’Manberg. That- that’s what people think of when they think of our nation, you know? That’s- and Tubbo- Tubbo’s the last connection we really have. I mean, he- he’d said it himself, he’s kind of, you know, he’s got nothing without it. I’ve heard about what- what Tommy’s you know, moved on and how Jack’s moved on and… Niki’s moved on. And everyone’s moved on from L’Manberg, at least partially. But Tubbo, man, he’s still-

Ranboo: Yeah, he’s still very very strung up about it. Even though it’s been a...while. He- he distracts himself though, with projects and everything. Which is nice, but…

Wilbur: Projects, I mean (laughs)

Ranboo: I mean, yeah. Yeah, this one as well.

Wilbur: I think he’s gonna be alright. He’s gonna be alright. I’m- I’m looking at him.

Ranboo: I hope so.

Wilbur: I’m looking out for him… Anyway, Ranboo I want to say thank you, man, for, you know, for trusting me this quick. I mean, you barely- you’ve barely known me, like, you know…

Ranboo: Yeah, I mean-

Wilbur: Very long and you’ve instantly just, you know… You’ve done all this with me and you’ve worked with me and I- I, you know I- I don’t- I don’t know where I’d be without you here, right now man. I mean Tommy’s great and all and he’s here but I- I feel like- you know, I don’t wanna string him along too much because he’s- I- when I- when I look at him, when I look at him when he’s helping me out, building things with me… I- I see the same eyes that looked at me when- when… There were some- there weren’t some fun times in the ravine of Pogtopia. I wasn’t a very well man and I could just see Tommy from that day.

#dream smp #dsmp #dsmp transcripts #dsmp wilbur #dsmp ranboo #dsmp tubbo #l'manberg

5 notes · View notes

imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl · 4 years ago

Text

Dangerous Love (Pt. 04 of 13)

Pairing: Bruce Wayne (Batman) X Harley Quinn's sister!Reader

Summary: You're Harley Quinn's sister, Havoc, one of the many villain's of Gotham. But you've been caught, and has been tortured constantly for an year in Belle Reve. But when your think your life can't be anything else than the nightmare you find yourself into, Bruce Wayne, the Batman, takes you in for a project. He has a program to rehabilitate villains, and you're his lab rat. But soon enough confusing feelings start getting in the way. You know falling for Bruce is stupid. But can you keep your heart under control?

Word count: 2.3K

<- Previous part (03)

Next part (05)->

{Justice League - DC Masterlist}

Nightmares

You're looking at the garden, admiring the little white flowers that only blossom at night. You're tired, eyes heavy, but you can't sleep. Some bats are flying down there, and you wonder if they live nearby. A much larger figure passes by, in a blur. Suddenly, the lights go off. Opening the window, you bend over, holding on the bars, to try and see more. Then, you hear a click.

Your head turns at the door. Did it just unlock? Is the system electrical? Then why does Bruce always uses a key? Moving to the door, you slowly turn the handle and... Another click. It's open. Pulling it, you step forward. The silence makes you anxious, and so does the darkness. Looking at the sides, you start walking down the hall.

“Bruce?” You call out, and your voice echoes through the place. You get no response.

Your legs keep moving, taking you downstairs and to the door, which is wide open. Why is Bruce doing this? Is it a test? Or did something happened to him? You shouldn't go. You should–

You're moving, against your will. Why are you moving against your will? Wasn't that the plan? To wait for an opportunity and run away?

The gates are open too, and they're the only thing you can see in the darkness. The next thing you know is that you're on the streets. Empty streets, no lights on. You're taking the way to the abandoned mall you claimed, taking all the right entrances and the elevator that leads to the underground. Your old house.

You walk through the garage, among the many cars you own. Reaching your private headquarters, you see piles of money. The jewels too, more shiny than usual.

“Is anyone here?” The place doesn't seem abandoned. You know they're still working for you, even after all that time in prison. They wouldn't dare to abandon you.

“Look who's back.” Your sister comes out of nowhere, followed by her boyfriend, the Joker. “Where were you, little sis?”

“I got out.” You could tell them the truth, that Batman held you hostage. But you don't want them to retaliate. “What are you doing here? You're not supposed to come uninvited.”

There's something in the air, in the atmosphere. It's so cold and and dark, like you're drowning in it. A weird feeling builds up as if you need to go home. But this is home, the only home you ever had.

What are you doing here? You made a promise not to run away. Bruce told you he'd help, so why did he let you get out? Why did he let the doors open?

“We know everything, dear." Joker sing songs, pacing around you. “The Batsy broke you down... Or should I say, Bruce Wayne?”

“What?” How does he know that? “I was in prison. Belle Reve. I got out.” You repeat, turning on your heels to look Joker in the eye.

“And now you're back home,” Harley exclaims, hugging you. “Enjoy yourself, sis. This is who you are. Have fun, steal what you crave for, and then, one day, they will just get you again.”

“Thanks to you, I know who Batsy is.” Joke speaks again, getting your attention. “I can attack him in bright daylight. When he's vulnerable, away from his toys.”

“You know you'll go back there right? The paradise on Earth.” Harley starts again. “They always manage to find us. And once they do, the torture is tuned all the way up.”

“Shut up, Harley.” You burst out.

“I will make sure to tell Batman you helped me. I may even bring his head here so you can use it as a decoration.”

“Shut up!” You're covering your ears, trying to understand what happened. What you did. You didn't tell anyone about Bruce. You know you didn't. “Shut up!”

“You're going back to Belle Reve, sis. We always do. We'll die there.”

“Batman's blood is in your hands, Havoc. Upon his death, we will rule Gotham.”

“Shut up!”

You sit up abruptly, just as the door is being open. Breathing fast, you run to the bathroom before Alfred comes in. Closing the door behind your back, you slide to the floor, hands on your head. “It was just a dream. Just a dream.” You mumble to yourself. Why did it scare you so much? You shouldn't be sleeping. “I won't go back. It was just a dream. Just a dream...”

A knock on the door startles you. “(Y/N)?”

It isn't Alfred, it's Bruce. With your heart pounding against your chest, you stumble up, opening the door and almost collapsing against his chest when you step out. He looks down at you, worried.

“Hi,” you whisper, stepping back.

“You look terrified. What happened?” He touches your arm, guiding you to sit on the bed. Behind him, you see a cart with lunch.

“I fell asleep. I shouldn't, I... I had a nightmare. No big deal.” As you move closer to the headboard, you see a book on the nightstand. “What's that?” Taking it, you read the cover. Game Of Thrones.

“I decided to bring you that. So you'll have something to do.” Bruce sits on the bed, hesitantly. “It has some violence, but I think you can deal with that.”

“Isn't there a TV show about it?”

“I'll stream if for you once you finish the book.”

“Ok.” It's good to finally have something to do. Opening the book, you look through the first pages.

“Why did you say you shouldn't sleep?” He inquires. Shaking your head slightly, you don't answer. “(Y/N).”

“Hm?” Looking up from the book, you meet his eyes. Why is he so worried?

“Won't you answer me?”

“I don't like sleeping.” Shrugging your shoulders, you sustain his stare. Bruce has nice eyes, and they're kind. You can't remember the last time someone looked at you like this. “The nightmares are constant so... I take naps. Whenever I feel like I'm falling asleep I get up. I don't sleep for more than three hours every night.”

“And what do you do up all night?”

“Nothing. I stare at the ceiling. The garden... Did you know that the little white flowers only blossom at night?” Smiling, you put the book down and move to the window. The garden is beautiful. You grow mesmerized by it every day. The flowers and threes are amazing.

“(Y/N), you need to sleep. To rest.” Bruce walks over you, touching your arm to get your attention. “Do you want something to help?”

“I'm used to my sleep schedule, don't worry.” You meet his eyes for a few seconds before looking through the window again. “I saw some people there a few days ago.”

“An interview. Now go eat.” Bruce brings the cart as you sit in the armchair. Sweet potato soup, your favorite.

He shouldn't be here for lunch, though. “Shouldn't you be at work?”

His expression changes, and he looks sad. “It's Saturday.”

“Oh... And don't you have a girlfriend or something?” The question comes out suddenly, before you even notice what you said. That's the bad part of being honest all the time, you lost the ability to control your thoughts.

“No, I don't have anyone at the moment. Why?”

“Because it's Saturday. You should be with her.” In the back of your mind, the figure of Bruce with a woman in his arm, going to dinners, smiling and chatting, bothers you. You don't understand why. It's only natural. A handsome man like Bruce probably has a lot of women chasing him. Being rich only makes it worse.

“Don't worry. I'm all yours today.”

That makes you giggle, looking down at the soup. “The therapy session will be long then.”

As usual, Bruce waits until you're done eating. You're growing used to his presence, and sometimes you think you're even a little excited to see him. It's unbelievable how gentle he is. Nobody was ever gentle to you. It's weird how you're failing to look for an opportunity to run away. You're just not thinking about this anymore.

When you're done, you push the cart away, holding your glass of soda. “So... What are we talking about today?”

“I have news. And I need you to tell me how you feel about them.” Bruce is serious now, all professional. Did you do something? Why does he seem so distant?

“Alright.”

“Yesterday night I found the Joker.” He begins, eyes focused on you, reading your face. “He almost managed to run away, but one of his bombs went off before the time, while he was close. He blew up, thrown into the air, and when he fell, he broke his spine. There's a chance Joker won't ever walk again.”

You don't know what he wants you to say. People tend to connect you to the Joker, even though you haven't worked with him in years. You're more like enemies now. “Well, that's too bad for him. And for Harley. She'll be heartbroken.”

“What about you?”

“I won't say I'm happy about it, I'm just... I don't feel anything.”

“Have you and the Joker ever been in any kind of... Relationship?”

That's new. “No. He kissed me once, to make Harley jealous, but I kicked him in the balls for it.” The memory makes you smile. His face was priceless. “He did make some... propositions, but I never accepted.”

“Why?” Bruce seems very interested in this. What are you thinking? He's just trying to understand and help you. Nothing more.

“Because he wasn't my type,” you say with a smirk.

“Does that mean other men made the same kind of propositions and you accepted?”

“What? No!” You exclaim, putting the empty glass on the cart. “I... I'm not...”

“See? When you don't say the truth, I can make any assumptions.” He leans forward, as he usually does. You're not sure why, but you mirror his position, looking into his eyes. “The truth, please.”

“Well, it's true that he's not my type, but... In my world, love is dangerous. You have lots of enemies and having someone you care about gives them a weak spot. So I never really gave me or... Love... A chance.” It's funny how easy it feels to open up to Bruce now. It doesn't mean you enjoy saying these things, they're supposed to be a secret, but with time, you're getting used to it. He has an effect on you, this man.

“For some people, there's no need for love in some... Situations.”

“For some people, yes. For me... It would never feel right.” You move back again, looking down at the sunlight coming through the window, on the floor between you and Bruce.

“(Y/N), I know the guards used to beat you. But did they ever... Assaulted you any other way?” The heaviness in his voice is tangible. Bruce is angry, worried.

“No. Never.” You're quick to answer, and he soon seems to relax. “Everything they feel for me is disgust, thank God. That... Never happened. They only touch me to beat me up.”

“I'm... Happy to know that. A pretty girl like you... I couldn't help but wonder if they ever tried something so filthy.”

“Woman.” You correct him as usual, the word pretty burning through your mind. Does he really think you're pretty?

“Woman. Forgive me.” A smile. A smile comes to his lips and you're mesmerized. He's so handsome, and now even more.

“I like your smile,” you tell him, biting back a smile yourself. “Didn't know Batman had this ability.”

“You're improving.”

“Am I?” It comes to your mind suddenly, that he brought you here to prove a point. “I'm happy your project is going well.” Running a hand through your hair, you get up, moving to the bed.

“I don't think of you as a project.”

“Really?” You don't believe him. “Sometimes I wonder what will be my fate after this. You say you can put me back into the normal world, but I'm not sure I believe it... I think that I'll end up in Belle Reve. And it'll be even worse because now I'm used to all this.” Gesturing at the room in general, you look at him. “Comfortable bed, nice showers, beauty products... Not being hurt every single day.”

Going back to Belle Reve would break you down, you think. The villain in you says that you can take it, all over again if needed, but the other part... Tells you otherwise. The very thought of your old cell is enough to make you shake like a leaf.

“I will never let you go back there,” Bruce speaks up, intense eyes on you, burning. “Never.”

“Keep me here then... If that's what it takes. I don't mind.” You can barely hear your own voice. You can't believe you just said that, that you would be ok being here for the rest of your life. But if your options are this room or cell 304B, you'd pick this room.

“Let's see how things go. There's no need to rush.”

Nodding, you continue telling him about your connections with the Joker, and about the many times you were at war against each other. After dinner, you ask for a pencil or pen, so you can underline the parts you like in the book. Bruce brings you a blue pen before wishing goodnight and telling you to try and sleep well.

But you can't. It's 2 a.m. and you're reading. You find a blank page in the book, so you rip it off and decide to draw. It's been years since you've drawn, and you're not really sure what you're doing. A few hours go by until you're finished with it. Bruce. You just drew Bruce Wayne. You stare at his features. His eyes, nose, jaw... Lips. Folding the paper, you decide to use it as a bookmark. He won't find out if you keep it inside the book.

@redwolf-7 @glitterypinkkitty @mybabyboytony @chipster-21 @agustdpeach @yaakimoon2

#bruce wayne x you #bruce wayne x reader #imagine bruce wayne #bruce wayne #bruce wayne imagine #ben affleck batman #batman x reader #batman imagine #imagine batman

104 notes · View notes

stardancerluv · 4 years ago

Text

Being a Good Friend

Part Twenty Two

Summary: Alex and reader’s life after Scotland.

Note: Broke some major canon with this...but left it open for more. Please don’t kill/hate me!

6 Months Later

The sun was brilliant in the clear blue sky; under the blanket the sand felt warm. You sighed happily as you looked down at Alex, he had dozed off contently beside you. It was a beautiful day in paradise.

As you looked down at the gentlness of his sleep filled face, you could still remember your last night in his flat.

*****

Alex had lingered on the window seat that final night the two of you spent there. A lingering melancholy tried to grasp onto him. It was time to say goodbye to the ghosts of friendships that blossomed and came to an end in that flat.

It had been a cool, rainy night. With only the sofa remaining, the two of you cuddled and dozed waking in time to watch the dawn a final time before taking a cab to the airport.

That morning, was when the two of you got to start a new life. In order to explain all the money you both sold anything that wasn’t terribly crucial for your new lives. It had been rough but was a good idea considering Alex had still managed to squirrel away quite a bit from that man Hugo’s suitcase.

A final touch in beginning a new life, Alex did something drastic. He trimmed the lion’s mane of his hair. With tears prickling your eyes, you ran your fingers through it a final time. Alex, did promise that once he got a better feel of where you and him had had settled in Brazil, he would grow it back.

The two of you had settled into a wonderful complex that was not far from the beach. You two could walk their whenever you wanted. Alex and you enjoyed that very much. Being in this paradise compared to cold, rainy Edinburgh it was like living in a dream.

You considered yourself lucky that the complex, you moved in had been great! They welcomed the two of you warmly, dishes and blankets were a plenty. Tonight Alex and you had been invited to a lantern festival you were beyond thrilled.

*****

The gentle scent of the ocean and suntan-lotion tickled his nose. Blinking, he looked up to find you reading. You face was gently focused, as you hair.

With a smirk curling his lips, “Does it mention anywhere in their that the mum and dad turn into zombies?”

You smiled at the suddenness of his voice. Putting the book aside you smiled down at him. “Hi sleepy head.”

He met your eyes, “Hi love.” He purred. Turning to look at your gently growing tummy, he smiled. “Hi baby.”

You giggled. “They moved, at this time they know when daddy and mommy talk to them.”

He chuckled. “Well then,” He cleared his throat. “Be good to your mum. Tonight, we’re going to a special ceremony.” Moving just so, he pressed a kiss to the side of your tummy.

“You told them.”

“That’s what my job is!” He chuckled.

Sitting up, Alex rested on his elbows and looked out at it all. Finally things were looking up. You and him had left with little to no fuss.

It had taken some time but he finally found a paper he could work at. At the moment, he was just happy at the idea of you being there waiting for him. You wouldn’t have to look for a job just yet.

He liked the idea that he was taking care of you and the baby. That really had come as kind of surprise. That baby had been tough, going through those last violent moments with David and the trail. He pressed his lips together, Alex was relieved it was over.

*****

Later that night as he lounged on the bed and watched you silently chose a flower from a bouquet he had surprised you with earlier. He watched as you effortlessly slipped into a dress he felt was as lovely as you.

“My lovely girl.” He smiled as you jumped a little.

“How did I not see you there as I walked out of the bathroom?”

He chuckled. “Because I am just that good.” Smiling he drew you close. “Excited for tonight?”

You nodded. “I am. I’ve always thought these kind of things were so wonderfully special and I am excited that we can go to one.”

“Me too.”

As the two of you walked down to the beach, he reached out and interlaced your fingers. He was thrilled that you and him had been invited to the lantern festival.

He made sure to grab one of the bigger lanterns. You and him were unstoppable. Anything was possible for the two of you, well actually the three of you now.

Catching your eye, loving how yours twinkled. “Make a wish.”

“I will.”

Soon the two of you together then released it. He held you close so together you could both watch as your lantern joined the others and floated to unbelievable heights.

Later, that night cuddled close to him you fell asleep watching a Portuguese game show. Alex, turned it down for a moment as he looked down at you in their otherwise silent flat.

His eyes drifted over your features, slowly down all the curves that made up you till he reached your growing tummy. He had always been revolted by the idea of kids. They irritated the fuck out of him. Nothing about them was appealing. They were loud, messy and demanding. Yet, when you told him, something came over him.

Perhaps it was you, perhaps it was knowing that you and him made that little thing. Yet what really pulled in him was the fact this little baby had survived that entire episode where David had lost his mind and almost killed him. A determination came over Alex, he wanted to take care of it and make sure it had a good dad in him. He pressed a kiss on your tummy.

“You got me for life, kid. He whispered. Turning back to the tv turned the volume up, he was eager to find out who won.

“We interrupt this broadcast to share some startling news.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” He whispered, he was annoyed but switching the channel he noticed it everywhere.

He finally settled on the English news, maybe if it was that important he better watch.

“Famous globetrotting criminal Juliet Miller has broken out of jail with the help of her lover Rose.”

“Oh fuck.” Alex carefully sat up straighter in bed as he felt as if someone poured ice cold water down his back as his attention was fixed on the television.

“It is believed that she is out there looking for the 2 million in pound sterling, she insisted during the trail that she didn’t have. Or maybe she just wanted to be reunited with her lover.”

The fellow newscaster broke into her male counterparts monologue. “Roberto, just maybe she is out there searching the globe for the roommate, she felt wronged her. Former reporter, for the Glasgow Times Alex Law.”

They showed a picture of him.

“Fuck.” He mumbled, more then ever was he glad that he had cut of his hair short.

His phone buzzed and the message read.

Boss: Law. Story from Scotland. Come in a few hours to cover in detail. Best to Y/N.

With his stomach rumbling he replied.

To Boss: E Claro. (Of course)

He was sick with unease, as he glanced down at you still sleeping. Snapping off the tv, he held you closer and kissed your temple. It would be ok, it had to be.

******

A few hours later, having barely slept Alex ventured to the corner store where had managed to find his favorite brand of cigarettes and a bottle of whiskey.

Talk about old habits dying hard, he thought bitterly. They certainly were back. How was he going to tell you.

Once back at the flat on the balcony, he twisted the cap off and took a large gulp. He was on his second cigarette while pacing back and forth; when you woke up and found him on the balcony. How would he tell you?

*****

Yawning, and stretching under your light cotton robe, a concerned look was over your still sleep cloaked face. “Alex, what’s the matter?” As you began to make your way over to him.

He stubbed out the cigarette, exhaled skyward before coming over to you. “You should sit down.” He gripped your hands.

“Alex.” You wiggled. “You’re grip is hurting me.”

That woke him up. “Oh, I’m sorry.”

Sitting beside you on the sofa, he wavered a little realizing how the whiskey had hit him on an empty stomach. He centered himself the best he could.

“Alex,” You drew his face over so you could look at him. “You’re worrying me. What's the matter?”

Taking your hand he kissed your palm, exhaling he got his nerve.

“Juliet escaped.”

@mac-n-cheesie @dance-like-russia-isnt-watching @rentskenobi @brookisbi @johallzy @darling-i-read-it @professionalclown @chogisss @calcifvr @i-love-scott-mccall @stardust-and-starlight @the-mandalorian-clone-lover @unfilteredmoonchild @sithonis @xbrex

#femi!reader #ewan mcgregor #ewan mcgregor imagine #ewan mcgregor pov #ewan mcgregor fluff #ewan mcgregor angst #alex law #alex law angst #alex law fluff #alex law imagine #alex law x y/n #alex law x you #alex law x reader #shallow grave #shallow grave fanfiction #being a good friend #part 22

16 notes · View notes

ladyreapermc · 5 years ago

Text

Fic: Dark Paradise (Keanu x Reader)

Summary: AU! With their ‘arrangement’ in place, reader and Keanu go apartment hunting. Part of the Always the quiet ones universe. Part 1 - Always the quiet ones | Part 2 - The Proposal | Part 4 - Without You

Author’s notes: I don’t know about you people, but I’m slightly addicted to this series. It’s so fun to write! As usual, feedback is greatly appreciated.

Wordcount: 4247

Warnings: Age gap; smut (dirty talk; d/s undertones; exhibitionism)

It was strange to be in the presidential suite without Keanu, but definitely something you could get used to. You took your time in a long bath, using the deliciously scented bath products from the hotel that you were very familiar with, despite never using them yourself.

You stepped out once the water turned tepid, your skin feeling silky soft and smelling amazing as you wrapped your body on one of the fluffy white robes, a towel holding your hair on top of your head. You scanned the menu for room service, your stomach rumbling. It was late and your last meal had been lunch.

Picking up the phone, you paused in hesitation. Everyone in the reception desk knew you. They would recognize your voice at the same second. How were you gonna explain this? You set the phone down again, choosing instead to order your favorite burger and milkshake from the diner a couple of streets over. They frequently delivered to the hotel guests and employees so no one would bat an eye to see them there.

You grabbed your laptop and books, bringing it to the bed with you because you had an essay for your abnormal psychology class to deliver next week and you hadn’t had time to start. Between work and all the other courses, you had been feeling overwhelmed and stressed and every time you tried to sit down to write, it was like your brain would just shut down and refuse to form any coherent thought.

Tonight, it was the first time in a while you felt completely relaxed and as you pulled out your reference notes, the text flowed easily, the essay practically writing itself as you swayed to The Weeknd playing on your earbuds.

You finished the first draft in record time, saving it on your college folder with a smile. So, this was how studying felt like when you had plenty of time and no distractions? It was amazing and the idea of not only having an apartment of your own but not to worry about long work hours and crushing debt was starting to sound even more appealing.

Pulling up a few real-estate websites, you started to browse apartments you liked which were around St. Joseph’s College, but after another moment’s consideration, decided to look for places closer to Columbia University, where you were planning to attend for Law School.

At first, you searched for an apartment with two beds two baths just like you first envisioned, but the prices terrified you. Why was everything in New York so fucking expensive? You could never ask Keanu to spend so much on you, a woman he barely knew. Then again, what would be the right price under those circumstances?

With a sigh, you got up, putting your clothes back on and moving to the balcony to watch the Manhattan lights. What were you thinking by getting in such a weird, messed up situation? You could already foresee that every single step of this would be riddled with uncertainty and self-doubt and you already hated.

You were usually so sure about your own choices. You had been sure that you needed to move away for college and even though you hated leaving your mom and brother behind, you knew it would be the only way to ease the weight of responsibility on your mother. If you stayed, she would insist you dedicated exclusively to school and she would kill herself working two, three jobs to keep your family finances afloat.

From a distance, with only phone calls twice a week, it was easier to pretend you weren’t struggling. It was easier to pretend that you were having the life she always dreamt of for you. The life Keanu was offering you right now.

And when you accepted his proposal, you had been sure too. Thinking about your future and the fact that even though you barely knew him, Keanu made you feel like no other man or boy ever managed.

It wasn’t a coincidence that, even though you knew next to nothing about him, he had been your first. You knew he was the kind of man you wanted, and you didn’t regret your decision. You were just doubting if this was the right way to go about things.

A pair of strong arms wrapped around your waist, making you start and giggle, especially when he pressed his cold nose against your neck.

“I could hear you overthinking things as soon as I stepped inside the suite,” Keanu commented, tugging you closer to his body, surrounding you with his heat and you rested against his chest, relaxing in an instant. How was this possible? “If you changed your mind…”

“No,” you sighed, turning in his embrace, your arms coming around his neck, fingers combing through the soft hairs in his nape. “I just…”

“Unsure if it’s the right thing for you?” he asked, and you chuckled because you hated and loved how he could just read your mind.

“Maybe,” you replied as Keanu rested his forehead against yours, letting out his own sigh. “I mostly wondering why you’re doing this.” He pulled back long enough to give you a look, his eyebrow arched in question and you felt heat rising to your cheeks. “I mean, you’re a handsome guy. Smart, educated, very good at…”

“Sex?” he offered with a smirk and you chuckled.

“Well, yes, but that wasn’t really what I was gonna say.” Even if you were thinking it. “My point is, you literally could just ask me or any other woman out and they most likely say yes.”

“Truth is, I’m selfish,” Keanu said with a shrug, his hands trailing softly down your back, rough fingers under your shirt, making goosebumps rise on your skin. “I have very little free time and when I do and I want to spend it with someone, I want their undivided attention. Bills and unfulfilling jobs tend to take their focus away.”

“So, you’ve done this before?” you asked carefully because you’ve been dying to know.

“Does it matter?” he asked, pulling away from you and there was a tension in his shoulders that you hadn’t seen before.

“Yes,” you replied a little more firmly because you needed to know. You needed to know what kind of future could be waiting for you.

“Twice,” Keanu finally replied, stepping closer to the railing and lighting up a cigarette. “First time, she ended it. It wasn’t what she wanted in the long run. She’s married now. With a kid.”

“And the second time?” you prodded, trying to be gentle.

“She wanted more than I could give so I had to end things. For her own good and mine.”

You could tell there was more to it but decided to leave it alone, your curiosity sated for now. Instead, you fitted yourself between his body and the railing, making Keanu smile as he looked at you. His gaze held you with its intensity and you wanted to hide, but also to expose your entire self to him because it made you feel like the only person on Earth and it was such a strange but thrilling feeling.

“It never felt like this, though,” he whispered, leaning closer, filling your nose with the smell of smoke and expensive cologne. “I don’t think I’ve ever wanted someone the way I want you.”

“I want you too,” you assured, arms returning to his neck.

Your mouth found his and for a moment you got lost in the taste of him. Just the touch of his lips upon yours was enough to make your knees feel weak and arousal pool between your legs.

“You should eat first,” Keanu said with a soft smile. “Your burger is getting cold and your milkshake is melting.” You followed him back to the bedroom, surprised to see the takeout bag on top of a bedside table. “The delivery guy was at the reception desk when I got in, so I just brought it with me.”

“Thanks.” You grinned, your belly growling at the smell of the greasy food.

“Where are you going?” Keanu asked when you took a step to the sitting room.

“I’m not gonna eat in bed,” you replied with a snort. You knew how much of a pain in the ass it was to clean up those sheets from grease stains.

Instead, you brought everything to the small dining table in the sitting room, mouth watering as you unpacked your food. You were halfway into your burger when Keanu came in, your laptop in hands.

“Looking for apartments?” he asked, sitting next to you. “Let me see?”

“Sure. Third tab is my favorite so far,” you said licking the excess of ketchup from your fingers before you popped a fry in your mouth and tilted your head to see the screen too.

“It’s a shoebox,” Keanu complained with a displeased noise, moving to the next tab and then the following one and the one after that. “They’re all shoeboxes.”

“I don’t need much,” you shrugged and watched as he altered the search parameters, his brown eyes scanning the options, his forehead slightly creased in concentration. “Fry?”

“I already had dinner,” he said, clicking in one of the adds.

“Ok, but this is French fries,” you pointed out, waving it in front of his gaze. “The best in town.” He chuckled, before snatching it from your fingers with his lips.

“I like this,” he said and the first thing you noticed was the price that nearly made you choke on the mouthful of milkshake. “Don’t worry about prices,” Keanu assured with a smile. “Just tell me if you liked it.”

“Well, obviously,” you sighed, glancing back at the pictures and the wide window panels. “But seriously, Keanu, I’d good with a studio or…” You trailed off when you saw him pull out the real-estate agent information, take out his phone. “It’s almost eleven p.m. Keanu, you can’t just…”

He shushed you, a smirk on his face as he pressed the phone to his ear with one hand, the other traveling up your thigh, making you shiver.

“This is Keanu Reeves.”

His hand moving higher as he spoke to the woman on the other side. You tried to still his wandering fingers when they reached between your legs, but Keanu just gave you a wicked smile, his voice not wavering even the slightly as he started teasing you. You brought a hand to your mouth, trying to muffle your noises as you rocked against his fingers.

You got lost in the sensations, in his teasing and you didn’t even realize he ended his call. Not until Keanu pulled your hand away from your mouth, meeting your lips for a sweet kiss.

“We have an appointment tomorrow at noon. Can you make it?”

“Yeah,” you assured, moving to his lap. “Now, are you gonna fuck me again, sir?”

“Yes,” Keanu replied, smirking. This time when he stood up with you in his arms, you barely made a sound. “Until you can’t sit straight without feeling and remembering me.”

----

You tried your best to focus on what the professor was droning on about, but it was hard when every time you shifted in your chair, you could feel the throb in your center, not exactly painful, but definitely making sure you didn’t forget the pounding you got last night and you had to hide your satisfied grin behind a sip of your water so not to drag attention to yourself.

You never thought sex could be quite like that. Sure, Keanu was your first real experience, everything else just awkward fumbling, but even in your inexperience, you could tell that wasn’t just good. It was unbelievably amazing.

Feeling your phone vibrating in your pocket, you reached for it and the sight of Keanu’s name on the screen made your heart speed up. It was just a text message; sending you the address for the apartment complex you’d be visiting and asking if you wanted him to send a car for you. You had no idea why you were acting like this.

With a quick reply, you assured you’d be there and that you could take the subway before you tried to get your attention back to the lecture. This was one of the toughest classes in your course, you knew only 5 percent of the class would get grades higher than B and you planned to be in that percentage.

Once the class was finally over, you put your things away and checked the time to make sure you could pop in your dorm to drop your stuff and change before you met Keanu. You wanted to look nice and maybe a little more… mature? Maybe it was silly of you, but you wanted to make sure to cause a good impression and jeans and a ratty tee wasn’t the ideal way.

So, you exchanged them for one of your favorite sweater dresses, cream-colored and tied around your waist with a ribbon. You always felt the shape complimented your curves, as well as the tone, made the earthy hue of your skin pop up.

“You look hot,” your roommate commented, making you grin. She was hardly your favorite person sometimes, but she did have an amazing taste. “Meeting the boyfriend?”

“Never said I had a boyfriend,” you pointed out as you put on your boots.

“The hickeys told the tale,” she smirked, nodding that the bruise peeking from under the hem of your dress and you blushed, tugging it down. “No shame. Maybe he can get that stick from up your ass.” She called out from over her shoulder as she moved away, taking your charger without asking once again.

“Soon,” you whispered to your mirror self, before picking up your bag and heading out, fidgeting the entire way to Morningside Heights, the neighborhood a distant cry from your own and you felt slightly out of place as you approached the elegant building.

Keanu was waiting for you at the foyer, once again in a suit, this time all black, his hair neatly combed and you couldn’t help the way your breath caught in your throat at the sight of him, especially with the way he smiled when he spotted you, his gaze traveling appreciatively down your body before he met your eyes again.

“Sorry I’m late,” you said, letting Keanu pull you closer, his arm wrapping around your waist.

“You’re just in time, sweetheart,” he replied, his eyes never leaving you. “We’re ready, Gwen.”

For the first time, you noticed the woman in a crisp pantsuit, her hair pinned back in a neat bun, a fake smile plastered in her face as she looked at you and at the way Keanu was holding you close, his large hand pressed against your hip, warm and possessive.

You matched her smile, daring her to say a word, knowing that she wouldn’t, not in front of Keanu anyway.

This was something you would have to get used to it. The judgmental looks whenever you were anywhere near Keanu. He seemed oblivious to it, but you could just feel eyes following the pair of you as Gwen led the way to the wall of elevators.

The first apartment she showed was one of the studios you had seen originally. Yes, it was small, but the wide windows let plenty of sunshine in; the modern concept kitchen was gorgeous, and the bathroom had plenty of space. You loved it.

“Shoebox,” Keanu whispered in your ear as Gwen droned on and on about the qualities of the place, making you giggle. “Can you show us the other one we talked about?”

“Absolutely,” the woman said, leading the way out, the elevator taking you three to a higher floor in the building.

This one was also amazing and considerably bigger. Two bedrooms, two baths, an open kitchen, the master bathroom was huge, with a tub that looked very inviting and a closet bigger than you knew what to do with.

“What you think?” Keanu asked, leaning against the doorframe, watching as you ran your fingers over the stone countertops.

“It’s amazing,” you told him with a grin, which he returned. “What do you think?”

You followed him as Keanu walked the apartment, analyzing every inch before, turning to look at Gwen.

“You have a penthouse?” The woman stilled for a second, stunned before she checked something on her phone and then looked back at Keanu.

“We do, but it’s already reserved,” she said, her tone apologetic.

“Show us anyway.” And who could resist when Keanu was flashing that charming smile, looking so suave and unflappable?

You watched as flustered Gwen raised a finger asking for a minute and scurried off, phone to her ear, probably talking to her superiors.

“What’s the point of checking an apartment someone else already getting ready to buy?” you asked, coming to stand next to him. The idea of it being the penthouse scared you a little and something told you Keanu knew.

“Just to sate my curiosity,” he said, fingers toying with the edge of your dress. “I like this look on you,” Keanu said, pulling you closer, his hands coming to your ass. “Easy access.”

You giggled and pushed his hands away moments before Gwen returned, her smile wide and you could almost see the dollar signs in her eyes as she led the way to the top floor, the elevator opening to a small hall that had only one door. She unlocked it and let you and Keanu step in first.

Your breath caught in your throat once again. This time due to the ceiling to floor window panels that showed the most gorgeous view of New York. There was a huge terrace and your heart leaped when you noticed you could see Columbia University from up there, closer than you could have hoped for. St. John’s cathedral too.

This apartment wasn’t much bigger than the other one you just visited and had all the same winning features. The biggest difference was the terrace and it was definitely something. You could see yourself having breakfast out there with Keanu when the weather was nice or cuddling at the lounge seat overlooking Manhattan and the Hudson River.

“You loved it, don’t you?” Keanu asked in a throaty chuckle, his arm surrounding you, his lips grazing your cheek, his beard tickling your skin.

“Ok, yes,” you admitted, turning your head to look at him. “But it’s too…” He silenced your words pressing a finger to your lips, his brown eyes shining bright as he looked at you.

“It’s just right. For both of us.” With a final kiss to your cheek, Keanu moved away, meeting Gwen in the living room.

You could protest of course. Insist on the smaller one but Keanu was right. This was perfect, the kind of place you had only dared to think about in dreams. The master bedroom was large enough that you could have a small home office in it and leave the second bedroom exclusively as a guest room. Your mom would die for that kitchen. It was everything you wanted, and Keanu was more than willing to buy it for you.

With much struggle, you turned your back to the view so you could watch Keanu and Gwen talking. There it was again, the flustered look confronted with his smooth ways and you almost felt bad for her. You had no idea what he was saying, but it was enough for the real estate agent to lift her finger once again and scurry off.

“Even if we love it,” you said returning to the living room, but pausing to admire the high windows. “Someone else is already about to buy it.”

“You’d be surprised what the right offer can do,” Keanu replied with a smirk. He shrugged off his blazer and set on the kitchen counter before he moved towards you, his gaze dark with desire.

“Keanu, we can’t…” you warned just as he crowded you against the window, his lips hot against your neck, his hands on your thighs, sneaking under the hem of your dress.

“Why not?”

“This isn’t our place.” Your voice turned a bit high-pitched as he nipped at your skin. “And she can come back at any moment.”

“She’s talking to her boss, who’s gonna talk to their bosses so they can find a compatible, but more affordable place to offer to the other interested part. That will take a while, so we have time.”

His hands moved to the front of your thighs, dipping in between before nudging them apart and you let him. Any resistance you had reduced to shambles when Keanu pressed a wet, sucking kiss to that sensitive point just bellow your ear that always made you soaked in seconds.

You rested your hands on the sun-warmed glass of the window, bending your body just enough so your ass was pressed against his growing erection, making Keanu smirk against your neck as he tugged your dress up, your panties down and dipped two of his fingers inside you and making you moan.

“Today you have to be quiet, sweetheart,” he said, and you could hear the noise of his buttons and belt being undone. “And I don’t have time to prep you like I usually do.”

“I can take it, sir,” you replied, voice shaking as he continued to move his fingers in and out at a fast pace, making pleasure shoot through you like lightning bolts, the surge of arousal and lust igniting your nerves.

“I know,” Keanu whispered against your cheek. “You’re already drenching my hand, your cunt desperate for my cock.”

You didn’t have time to reply nor to feel embarrassed, because he was replacing his fingers with his cock, burying into you till the hilt and muffling your cries by pushing two fingers into your mouth, his other hand positioning your hips so Keanu could better thrust into you.

His pace was punishing and soon you were pressed against the window, his hand coming up to play with your breasts as he fucked you, his grunts and curses tickling your ear, his smell surrounding you as he took you.

If there was any cognitive function left in you, you would be worried about getting caught; about someone from the nearby buildings seeing the two of you, but all you knew was the shattering pleasure spreading from your center to the rest of your body, coiling deep inside you and building like wildfire. You just knew your orgasm would be the kind that left you completely shattered and weak.

“Are you close, sweetheart?” Keanu asked, tone breathless as he ground into you, his thrusts short and angled just right. “I wanna feel you squeezing me tight when I cum inside you.”

You only nodded, bringing his hand from your breasts to your clit and Keanu started rubbing circles, his soft touch a contrast to the way he was taking you, but it worked, because in moments you were whimpering and shaking as the tension coil snapped and you came, gushing and throbbing around him.

“Fuck! I love how tight your cunt gets when you come,” he grunted, his thrusts gaining speed and losing coordination as he fucked with abandon, muffling his own groan with a bite to your shoulder.

His weight pressed you against the window, the glass smudged by your sweat as the two of you caught your breath and, in your case, also recovered the control for your lower limbs.

You were barely aware of Keanu fumbling behind you, slowly pulling his fingers from inside your mouth, wiping the spit the escaped from the corner of your lips and drying them on his pants before, pulling out his softening cock as the same time he brought a handkerchief between your legs, gathering most of the mess the two of you made.

At the sound of steps on the foyer, you hurried to fix your dress, hoping your hair wasn’t too much of a mess as the Gwen returned to the room, taking one look at the two of you and blushing bright red.

She knew. Of course, she knew. It was written on your faces. She could probably smell it in the air.

“The apartment is yours, Mr. Reeves.”

“Perfect,” he said, smiling wide, both hands inside his pockets. “I’ll have my people send all the required documents to your office.”

“Alright,” she nodded, a timid smile in her face. “Would you like some more time to… uh, look?”

You could feel your cheeks flaming as her gaze moved your direction. You quickly looked out the window, avoiding her eyes.

“Please,” Keanu replied with a smirk, and you felt his hand back on your hip. “I’d like the inspect the master bedroom a little more closely.”

“Just drop the keys at the lobby once you’re done,” she said, her eyes knowingly as she walked out of the loft.

Once the door closed, Keanu tugged you into his arms, his mouth seeking yours for a searing kiss.

“I hope you cleared your schedule because I’m planning on fucking you in each and every one of these rooms,” he said against your lips.

“I’m all yours,” you replied with a matching smirk, sucking on his bottom lip just to hear him grunt, his hands tightening over your hips.

“Don’t you forget it.”

xxx

Permanent Tag List (give me a shout if you want to added or removed)

@toomanystoriessolittletime @meetmeinthematinee @theolsdalova @beyond-antares @cumberbatchbaps @sgt-morgan @futuristic-imbecile @howtoruin-someones-perfect-day @fanficsrusz @nonsensicalobsessions @poisonedjoinery @soarocks @penwieldingdreamer @alwaydreamingofu @partypoison00 @hnryycvll @kevia1000 @krazycags01 @a-really-bi-girl @soarocks @reid-187

Tag List for Always the Quiet Ones

@keandrews @fuck-yeah-hope @keanureeefs @pinkzsugar @fortheloveoffanfic @baphometwolf666 @whyskeysour @hstyles-imagines

#keanu reeves #keanu reeves fanfic #keanu reeves imagine #keanu reeves x you #keanu reeves x reader #one shot #alternate universe #smut #always the quiet ones

184 notes · View notes

vesperlionheart · 4 years ago

Text

Lady of the Blackthorn Trees 2

Part 2 of this magical SasoSaku for @frostmarris

Life at the tower was a guilty paradise for Sasori for the next four years. He had been given his own quarters with a privet study and personal, yet empty, library that she allowed him to fill up as the weeks and months rolled by.

With his personal allowance she took him to the far reaches of the continent and showed him the best stalls and shops to browse through. He trained with her once a week in magic, and then on a different day of the week he studied history, art, and literature with Sakura.

The rest of the week she was called away on the business of seeing to the needs of the world, or isolating herself in the celestial observatory.

At first their meetings had been strictly reserved for those two days and evening dinners, but after the first year Sasori began to find ways where he could insert himself into her work or study. She noticed and teased him for his efforts but didn’t rebuke him for them.

On days when he was left alone with the unseen servants he felt more like a pet, but anytime he had the opportunity to speak with Sakura or be in front of her, all feelings of inferiority left him. Or maybe they didn’t leave him, but they turned reasonable. He had so much to learn from her even though he still would never understand why she bothered with him in the first place.

He found her one day, lost in thoughts and wandering aimlessly through the halls of the main library. He thought maybe she would appreciate the solitude but before he could help himself he called out to her.

Sakura turned and smiled softly. “Sasori, what can I help you with?”

“I was wondering if I could help you.”

Her eyes sparkled with something close to mischief but she sounded as cordial as ever when she replied. “I am quite alright. I don’t want you being concerned for my sake.”

Sasori wrinkled his nose and crossed his arms. “You sound like one of those stuffy court politicians. What’s the matter with you today?”

“I’m feeling like a stuffy court politician,” she said.

“That’s terrible,” Sasori sighed in fake empathy. “No one would want to hang around you like that.”

“So what are you doing here?”

“Looking for the woman this stuffy court political replaced, obviously,” Sasori shot back. He raised a single brow in an unimpressed expression to match his monotone.

When she smiled Sasori could tell she was tired but the heaviness was far less than what it once was. “I heard she took a vacation. Might I be of some assistance in her absence?”

Sasori produced his spell book from the straps under his arm and waved it before flipping through to one of the most recent pages where the ink was finally dry. “I was transcribing a spell and I don’t like how it came out. What did I do wrong?”

“Oh no, one of those questions,” Sakura sighed even as she approached his spell book to look it over. “You always have to make things so complicated.”

“I did the transcription perfectly.”

Sakura rolled her eyes and took the book with her to a nearby table. “Yes, yes, I have no doubt you were the perfect copy machine, but the spell you were copying over fit the original spell caster and suited their natural style. You are not the original spell caster so you need to make allotments in the transcription for where you deviate from the author.”

Sasori secretly delighted in how impassioned Sakura could become with the right sort of question. She could talk for hours about her favorite authors and spell writers and how they were under appreciated in their field until after their death. It was probably his favorite bad habit, setting her off onto tangents.

“You’re looking far too smug for someone who didn’t even omit the core natural element clause, Sasori.”

“You’re supposed to keep that the same when transferring.”

“Only with like minded spell workers. You’re not a sorcerer like me, you need to make allowances for how your body handles magic otherwise you’ll blow both your hands off at the wrists. You think I want to have to make you a pair of pretty silver hands, huh?” she teased.

Sasori just chuckled in response and Sakura’s lips puckered in something close to a pout. “Why are you laughing at me?”

“You don’t sound like a court politician anymore,” he explained. “Now you’re just a nagging teacher.”

Sakura rolled her eyes and waved her hand over her shoulder. “Excuse me for looking out for your best interests. What do you expect when you show up with such shoddy work? Put this away, I’m taking you to the grove for lessons.”

In spite of himself, Sasori perked up at the mention. “It’s only the third day of the week.”

“Yes, but you’re hopeless and I’m in need of a good distraction,” Sakura said, tone flippant.

Sasori wondered if there was any particular reason for her earlier despondency, but felt comfortable letting it go if she was willing to spend time with him in her grove. He wasn’t about to complain about the extra attention.

One of the invisible servants appeared at the door to the balcony, offering Sakura a pair of heels to change into. Sakura stepped out of her slippers and reached for the shoes already inscribed with world walking spells painted down their undersides.

Sasori reached before the servant could and knelt next to her side with one of the shoes already in hand. He took her heel and slid the first shoe on while Sakura balanced a single hand on his shoulder. When he helped her with the second shoe he almost didn’t let go, but realized himself before she could notice his absentmindedness.

“I should inscribe a pair for you too,” Sakura admitted as he stood.

“You want to gift me a pair of heels?” he teased in a flat monotone to contradict the excitement in his heart from being so close and intimate.

“Absolutely,” Sakura joked. “I think it would do wonders for your ass.”

Sasori snickered but offered his arm for her to take. When Sakura took her first step there was a familiar click from her heels on the marble before magic began to ripple around them. The scenery melted like a water painting in the rain but Sakura led Sasori straight through the mess and through a fluttering of dragonfly wings before the world became solid once more. There was no more click or clacking sound as her heels touched down on the grass, but there was still an unnaturalness to the way she walked perfectly on an imperfect surface.

“How long did the enchantment on your shoes take you?” Sasori asked as the last of his nausea abated.

“A decade, but I was less fastidious about the design. My master had a pair she worked on for twenty five years. Those boots could take her across oceans even if she never had visited the place before,” Sakura explained.

“I think your heels are plenty impressive, but I’ll be sure to discover some less dizzying way to migrate long distances,” he begrudgingly admitted.

“Careful, you’ve been too kind with your complements recently. You wouldn’t want me to start suspecting you to be sweet on me, would you?” Sakura teased with a coy expression before pulling out of Sasori’s hold to walk ahead of him.

In front of them was a grove of dead and ugly looking trees, all helplessly barren with more thorns than life. As Sakura approached the trees, they started to pull themselves up, stretching taller and farther than any blackthorn tree had a right to be before their branches began to tremble with new buds. The potential of life was back in their bark but nothing would bloom unless Sakura let it.

The grove was her favorite place to practice magic safely, as the trees had been a gift from her previous master. They were old, dead things but each responded to her magic whenever a spell was preformed correctly. When Sakura did her work the whole field would be a snowstorm of white blossoms and petals. It was also a fair practice spot for Sasori to go to when he was having trouble with his spells. If he was using an insufficient magical output the trees would clue him in with their reactions.

Sasori noticed how the buds remained and frowned at the overall health of the trees. Normally Sakura left them barren until explicitly using a spell, but it seemed as if she was leaking magic… was that on purpose?

“What are you doing?” she yelled back, already far ahead of where he stood.

“That should be my question to you,” Sasori yelled back, pretending to sound annoyed. “Why are you already cheating?”

“It’s been a shitty morning, don’t belittle me for a few harmless pleasures,” she shot back with a dramatic roll of her eyes. “Hurry up or I’ll leave you behind.”

“No you won’t.”

“Don’t talk back to me!”

Sasori did his best to hide his smirk but he was afraid she could hear it in his words whenever he talked. For as amazingly powerful a sorceress she was, it was painfully easy to rile her up. It was in such moment she showed what Sasori considered her true age. Maybe she was decades ahead of him, but sometimes it felt like he had seen more of the world and lived on it longer.

Hours later the pair reclined on a borrowed blanket set underneath the flowering blackthorn trees, content to watch the petals fall like snow as the magic drained out of the trees. Considering how long and hard he had practiced, he assumed it would be hours before the land was dry and barren again.

“More of our lessons should be outdoors,” he said over tea.

Sakura hummed along, looking as if she was flirting with the idea of a nap. He reached over and took the tea dish from her fingers and set it aside, out of the way. She didn’t protest and didn’t even bother to react when Sasori scooted closer.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

Sakura blinked but answered after a pause. “You’re so entitled. What makes you think you get to hear about my problems?”

“Who else do you take to your sacred grove?”

She giggled. “It’s not sacred. I told you I’m not a god.”

“You’re more than just a sorceress though, aren’t you?”

Sakura’s eyes had all but closed until Sasori spoke. Slowly, she raised her head and stared in his direction. “What would lead you to make such a bold accusation?”

“You’re too powerful to be a sorceress.”

Sakura hummed thoughtfully, searching his face before leaning back and smirking. “Then consider this a time for lessons, boy, tell me what you know of sorceresses and witches. Tell me the truth between wizards and warlocks, the fae and the mage.”

“The difference is in where one draws their power. Witches take magic from the earth and the natural world and are considered the most basic of magic practitioners due to their inability to carry magic in their own body. Not much different are those who strike pacts to obtain magic, like those in the warlock profession. Divine clerics and priest do this with their gods but they like to distinguish themselves from the lot of magic users by claiming their patrons are divine.”

“As if that makes them any different than us,” Sakura giggled. “What else?”

“Some are born with magic already in them and learn to use or harness such a magic through various means. In this regard both the sorceress and the wizard are similar.”

“How is a wizard different from a spellbinder then?” Sakura interrupted, leaning forward with a knowing glint to her eyes.

Sasori swallowed and thought over his words carefully before speaking. “Wizards memorize spells to harness their powers and are limited by how much their medium can withstand in a given period of time. That is why they would use wands, rods, or even staves to channel their magic through as well as spell components, like ingredients,” Sasori said.

As if to demonstrate Sakura reached up and broke off a dry branch of one of the blackthorn trees. She turned around with the withered thing in hand and shook it once before her magic made it bloom with a flourish of petite white blossoms. From the point golden magic flowed, dropping to the ground and transforming into a pool of water.

“And you have no such item, so tell me now the reason for it,” Sakura said. She threw the thriving branch behind her shoulder and rejoined Sasori on the picnic blanket. When she sat her skirts flared out around her and sparked with the beaded designs. She looked as if she was clothed in millions of dragon fly wings.

“I am not a wizard. I need no components and I carry no wand, but I do have a medium.”

Sakura smirked and held up two fingers.

“Ah, I meant I do have two mediums,” he said.

“I should know, I bound both of them for you,” Sakura said.

“And I’m thankful to you for that, so quit mentioning it every time you can,” Sasori sighed, feeling his ears heat when she looked at him.

“Continue with our lesson, Sasori.”

He closed his eyes and forced his spirit to ground itself and his heart to quit its trembling. It had been years but he still fluttered at the sound of her voice uttering his name. He doubted he would ever grow used to the way she made him feel.

“I am a spellbinder because I bind spells into my book and execute them thusly. A spell I have successfully transcribed can be read back for its magic effect or burned for silent casting.” He hesitated, watching her carefully. “Or it can-”

“Those are the only two ways I recognize,” she interrupted. When she looked up at him through her lashes it was in warning.

Sasori nodded slowly and silently agreed, deeming it unwise to go against her teachings. It didn’t matter that blood casting was far more efficient than burning or reading, the cost was too great and Sakura refused to let his spells taste his blood for any reason.

“If one is born a sorceress,” Sasori began, earning her attention back, “it is due to the fact that such a child came into the world through unnatural means or supernatural means, and thus was blessed with their own pool of personal magic. They need no spells written or whispered, but are considered to be the most effect of magic users apart from the singular drawback of their magic pools.”

Sakura laughed. “True, most sorcerers can’t enchant a single shoe on their own.”

Sasori slowly nodded. “My teacher is truly extraordinary to have such perfect magical control and such deep wells.”

Sakura giggled. “You won’t get anywhere with me if you try to flatter this old woman, but I like you enough on your own that maybe one day I’ll tell you my secrets…one day.”

“You have secrets?” Sasori teased back.

“Every lady does.”

Sasori rolled his eyes and played at being disinterested. “I’m not sure I want to know about those types of secrets. Ladies are better left a mystery, thank you.”

“Sexist log. Don’t be such a garden variety vegetable about it.”

Sasori ended up sputtering at her weak insults and that only provoked her further. She was sitting up, ready to chastise him when the magic in the field snapped taunt and they both turned like mirrored versions of each other, to face the center of the field where something was trying to emerge.

“What is it?” Sasori asked first. He was already on his feet and had slipped one of the books out from its holder under his arms.

“No, wait. I recognize this magic. Let it pass, it’s only a summons spell.” Sakura waved her hand in the air and yielded her protective magic. Like a popped balloon, the furry animal tumbled to the grass and shuffled around a bit before noticing Sakura and Sasori. The fox bound over and stopped at her feet, turning to show off a letter tied to his back.

“There were more efficient ways of reaching you, I’m sure,” Sasori huffed in complaint. He didn’t put his spell book away.

Sakura read the missive and sighed, burning it up before standing. The fox deflated and became a construct of raw and tangled magic before the breeze blew it’s remains away.

“We should hurry back. I need to pack up before my escort arrives.” Sakura forced herself to smile. “I’m not trusted to arrive at the council without one.”

The idea of Sakura being manhandled into a meeting or position she wasn’t in favor of didn’t sit well with Sasori. “I could kill them if you wanted. We could say they never arrived.” He offered her his arm to take as he finally pocketed his spell book.

“The offer is tempting but would ultimately lead to more noise than I’m willing to put up with.”

Sasori inclined his head as the world around them began to melt with the transportation magic. “A stiff drink for the road then?”

“Yes, please.”

When they arrived back at the tower in the library, they were stepping through the doors that led to the outside balcony. The doorway folded itself up after their arrival, transforming into a nondescript stone wall that was indistinguishable from all others.

If Sakura wanted to, she would have little trouble turning her home into a prison for Sasori. It would be near inescapable with the endless levels and far reaching staircases, not to mention the unfolding windows and doors that shifted position based on Sakura’s will. The tower had been grown out of her magic and was basically an extension of her being, as many magic towers were for prominent wizards and magic workers.

“How much time do you have before your guest arrives?” Sasori asked.

“Not enough.” Sakura paused to consider his question and tapped her nose while thinking. “But maybe an hour if he’s fast. Don’t feel like you have to interact with him. If possible I’d prefer the pair of you not interact as it would only lead to more exhaustive questions.”

“Why? Is my presence taboo?”

“No, but my tutelage is.” Sakura grinned mischievously. “So please don’t tell them I’m teaching you anything. If it comes down to it, say you’re a visiting friend.”

After four years this was the first time Sasori had to be deceptive with one of Sakura’s guests. True, it was rare anyone made it to her tower, and the most interaction he had with other humans was when he went shopping, but his studies had never been called taboo.

“Is it alright if they know I’m a spell caster?” he asked.

“That was something your family began in you, I only furthered your studies, so no, you don’t have to hide that you know magic. But please keep the fact that I’ve aided you as much as I have a secret. If you were without magic until me it really would be illegal.”

Sasori made a face. “That sounds… seditious.”

Sakura shrugged. “I liked the peace of not having a wizard or adventuring party showing up on my doorstep every month, trying to kill me because they thought I was evil for being an unregistered agent. There wasn’t any real danger to it, but I got bored and tired, so this is the compromise. I follow some shitty rules and they leave me alone. ”

“I can still kill someone for you. That offer is still on the table if you need it.”

“Death is easy, Sasori,” Sakura said, touching his face with both hands. “Dealing the the endless cycle of it isn’t, and I don’t have the heart to break the wheel before it starts spinning.”

The quote made Sasori remember something they had both read and discusses one night over wine and cheese. The cycle of revenge and how it always continued to spin, how an eye for an eye left the whole world blind. How was one to escape such a vicious cycle other than opt out of it when it was their turn to deal violence?

In a rare moment of darkness Sakura laughed at his naïvety and drained the rest of the wine. ‘Don’t stop at an eye. If someone took from me I wouldn’t leave them with eyes, hands, or teeth. When wronged, the one who survives need not turn the wheel on its endless cycle, but instead shatter it without mercy. I do not work in half measures, and if I truly was so wronged, there would be no one left to continue the cycle of violence.’

Sasori had never forgotten her cruelty of effectiveness from the first night they met, and he never would. The monstress beauty she was in the firelight haunted his dreams years later, but there was nothing in him that could complain against it. He had never seen anything more beautiful.

Yet he knew, after so many years, Sakura was not easily moved to such anger. Her displays of wrath were rare and hard won by the worst of the worst.

“I ned to pack,” Sakura said simply before retreating for her rooms.

Left on his own, Sasori busied himself in pestering the library’s speaking tomes for any information they had on visitors to the tower. One of the books admitted it was probably another wizard and that, depending on the kingdom, it could be any number of intellectual equals.

Another book listed a number of prominent magic users in the neighboring lands and Sasori grew more and more irked as he saw their likenesses painted in ink across the pages. Too many mages liked to keep themselves younger looking than they had any right to. Sakura looked plenty young too, but it wasn’t something she was active about maintaining, but rather a side effect of the reservation and health magic she possessed.

The first hour came and went without word of a visitor, but then the clockwork birds that roosted in the upper levels of the tower showed him what they had spotted, approaching from the north. Indeed there was a young, handsome looking mage on wyvern.

Sasori didn’t think twice but threw off his normal wear and changed into a loose, open front nightshirt and the form fitting black riding pants he used while practice fighting in the tower’s gym. If he could look more like a gigolo it would have to come out in his acting. At least his hair was a mess.

He heard voices and knew Sakura must have greeted her guest in one of the main halls. It was easy enough to find, no matter how confusing the tower could become on its own.

“Are you sure you have everything you need?” a male voice inquired.

“You should know by now I’m more than proficient in sealing and spatial magics. All I need is this,” Sakura replied waving a hand in the air where her bracelet sparkled with extra beads.

Sasori emerged at this moment, rubbing at his face with the palm of his hand and faking sleepiness. The exaggerated yawn caused Sakura to turn and her reaction was priceless.

“Are you leaving already?” he asked, ignoring the dark haired mage who looked just as gobsmacked.

“Sasori?” Sakura squeaked.

He smiled at her guest and it was the fakest he had ever felt. “I didn’t know you were gonna have visitors.”

“I…you didn’t mention having a house guest,” the other male laughed. “I hate to think I’m intruding.”

“No, it’s fine Itachi,” Sakura said, still looking confused and alarmed at her student. “I-Sasori, what are you doing?”

“Seeing you off,” Sasori replied, sounding sweeter than fake sugar. “You said you’d be gone for a while so I wanted to say goodbye. Who is your escort?”

“A court mage from the Konohagakure empire, Itachi Uchiha,” the stranger answered, sweeping a had up to make into a fist above his shoulder. His robes were well cut and draped over only one half of his body, leaving the other side exposed to the more form fitting black shirt and riding pants, not dissimilar to the ones Sasori wore to look whorish.

“And you are?” Itachi asked.

“Just a friend Sakura invited in, no one important.”

Itachi tilted his chin up and narrowed his eyes. “A friend from the Golden Desert? You must have come a long way.”

“Longer than most.”

Sasori smirked and Itachi’s dark black eyes narrowed and flared with simmering magic. Sasori could smell the pyromaniac stench to it as the Uchiha’s magic made his eyes flash red. Between the two of them, Sasori thought his chances were pretty good if they had to go toe to toe. He had come a long way since the first day Sakura picked him up, and now he was able to do things his cousins could only dream of.

“How long are you staying on our continent?” Itachi asked, phrasing his words carefully as he never once looked away from Sasori.

“As long as I’m useful,” Sasori answered through a rakish grin that had Sakura groaning silently in the background.

“It’s not-you know what, never mind. I’m ready to go,” Sakura interjected.

Sasori slouched against the wall and blew a dramatic goodby kiss as Sakura started to head out. “Come back safe,” he called.

“Go fuck yourself!” she shouted without looking back.

Sasori felt his shoulders jump with true delight at her words. He wanted to bend over laughing but he stifled it all for a smooth chuckle before shouting back, “I’d rather leave that to you.”

Itachi glared but turned to follow Sakura out before pausing on the threshold to the outside. “Sasori, was it?” Itachi asked. “It might be in your best interest to return home as soon as possible. Sakura is far too kind to say it to your face, but people from your continent aren’t thought of highly here. You do her a disservice by intruding on her hospitality.”

“Nah, I enjoy being alive much better when I’m here,” Sasori answered back honestly. Truly, before he met her Sasori had only been waiting to die and was a pessimistic attitude about anything that happened to anyone. Before Sakura, Sasori hadn’t liked the person he was.

Itachi glared once before turning sharply on his heel and following Sakura out. Sasori watched from a nearby window as Itachi caught up to Sakura and helped her onto the back of his wyvern before following her into the saddle. Sasori glared at how close Itachi insisted on being and knew he had done the right thing to suss out the assholes who thought they knew Sakura better.

“He wasn’t even that pretty.”

Sasori grumbled to himself before passing out face first in his bed, resolved to wait until Sakura came back as patiently as he could.

When Sakura found him a week later, he was on his back under the massive telescope she had fixed atop the mounted platform in the observatory.

“And here I thought you’d greet me as soon as I returned,” Sakura teased, stepping into the room. When Sasori didn’t reply she approached his body and laughed at his sleeping face. “You’re lucky I like you, otherwise I never would have forgiven you for such a stunt.”

“Does that mean you’ll take me shopping?”

Sakura startled and then laughed as Sasori cracked open a single eye. Before she could stop him she felt his arms around the small of her back tugging her forward. She braced against the ground, one hand on either sided of his skull as she propped herself up. That’s when she smelled the wine.

“Have you been drinking?” she gasped.

“Maybe. It’s lonely without you here. What else did you think I’d do?”

“Study.”

Sasori shook his head. “Not fun on my own.”

“I leave you alone three fourths of the time, how was this any different?” she asked.

“You were somewhere I couldn’t reach.” Sasori closed his eyes and sighed deeply, looking like he’d drift back off to sleep. “Stay with me?”

“Sasori, you’re drunk.”

“I’m lonely,” he corrected.

“Fine, lonely and drunk, but still drunk. Get to bed.”

Sasori tightened his arms around her waist and tried to pull her closer but Sakura was strong so she didn’t budge. “Carry me,” Sasori demanded, slurring his words almost.

It was an unreasonable demand, but he was drunk so Sakura braced and heaved Sasori back, picking him up into her arms and turning him around so she cradled him like a bride with his head resting against her shoulder.

“You weight as much as an ox,” Sakura complained as she carried him down the stairs under the telescope.

“You deserve it, you were gone so long.”

“It was a week you big baby.” Sakura huffed loudly and lifted him higher in her arms before exiting the room and making for the hall. With her passive magic she manipulated the hallways to shorten and contort for her, turning the long walk short.

Sasori reached out and hooked one hand over her shoulder, hanging on as she kept him in her arms. With him close she could smell the soap as well as the wine.

“What are you going to be like if you ever decide to leave? You’re hopeless.”

The arm around her shoulder tightened. “I’m not leaving you.”

“You know, one day you’re going to be strong enough to fight off whoever it was who drove you out of your homeland and then you’re gonna wanna head home,” Sakura said. “They always do.”

“Not me,”Sasori insisted, rising his volume in anger.

“You say that now,” Sakura snorted, pausing to kick his door open. “But don’t sell yourself so short. There’s a lot more to life than this damn tower.”

“Yeah and it all sucks,” Sasori snapped.

“What about your family?”

“They’re only safe if I stay away. I go back…we’re all toast.” Sasori inhaled sharply and then dropped his head back onto her shoulder. “They wanted me to live and I was never worth it.”

Sakura hesitated on the threshold but then pushed in, turning so Sasori would fit through the door. She carried him over to his bed and set him down under the rumpled covers, taking care to pull off his shoes before tucking his feet under the blankets. He pawed at the mattress, turning around only to be pushed back against the pillows by Sakura.

“You need to sleep this off. Getting sloshed while I was out wasn’t a smart idea.”

“You’re a smart idea.”

Sakura snickered, almost choking on the laugh that came so naturally. Sasori was a lot more fun to take in as a student than she first anticipated. He had been moody and dark in the early weeks, but that melted away soon enough.

“I’m going to leave some water and medicine on the nightstand for you,” Sakura said.

When she moved to stand Sasori grabbed at her wrist and she stopped. “Don’t go.”

“I’m not leaving the tower.”

Sasori blinked, eyes unfocused and bleary. “Sometimes you go to that place and it always hurts you, but you shouldn’t go, even if you’re safe in the tower.”

“Someone isn’t making sense,” Sakura teased. When she tried to pull away he reached with his other hand to stop her from rising. “Sasori, I’m going to get upset.”

“Why don’t you age?” he asked. “It’s not that you’re long lived, there is no aging in your body. Why are you so powerful with so much magic when you should have been born with a fraction of what you wield?”

Sakura gave up and sat back down. “You’re drunk, but you’re honest I guess. You want to know all my lady secrets, don’t you?”

“It’s still hurting you.”

“It’s not hurting me. What I did with that power haunts me, there’s a difference.”

“I want to live forever with you,” Sasori whispered, sounding as if his voice was meant for only secrets. “Please.”

“I won’t live forever, I’m not a god.”

“You have the power of one.”

Sakura brushed aside his longer red bangs and kissed at his forehead, inhaling his soapy scent. “I don’t know why I like you enough to admit this, but you’re drunk so you likely won’t remember it in the morning.”

Sakura reached out and a cup rolled itself up onto the nightstand and a pair of tablets unfolded themselves out of space. The cup began to fill with water enchanted to stay fresh for hours. Sasori didn’t look away from Sakura until after she was finished summoning the things his hungover ass would need in the morning.

“You’re astute to have noticed after only four years. The only others who have suspected have been those who’ve known me for decades and my closest associates, but yes, I age too slowly to be considered aged. At this rate it will be thousands of years before I see my first wrinkle. My teacher was the same way.”

“Sakura…”

She brushed the hair out of his eyes and stared too long at the shape of his face. It was a handsome face, one she found herself thinking of when it wasn’t in front of her.

“When I was seventeen she took me to the barren wastes and we hiked for a day and a night to the site of a great but forgotten battle. The carcass of a other-world god was still there, frozen in time and ice. I was strong and had perfect control, but like you said, I had too little magic for my ambitions.”

Sasori tried whispering her name again but his eyes were so heavy they could barely stay open.

“I ate the flesh of that god until my body couldn’t hold any more. I haven’t considered myself human since then,” Sakura quietly confessed, staring down at his face as it watched her.

“Please kiss me,” he whispered on the edge of sleep.

“You’re drunk.”

“I’m honest.” He reached for her but only caught her hair, and his fingers slipped through. “Please.”

He was drunk and didn’t know what he wanted, so it was wrong of her, so wrong, but Sakura indulged his request like a mother would, with a soft kiss against his forehead and a wish goodnight.

Sasori touched the spot and almost complained, but by the time Sakura was in the doorway, he was already fast asleep.

#SasoSaku #my writing #Sakura #Sasori #Sakura Haruno #BAMF Sakura #part 2 #no beta we die like men

40 notes · View notes

junewild · 4 years ago

Text

tags masterpost

a couple of people have complimented me on my new tag system and a couple of people have asked me what tags go to what sort of content, so i thought i’d write up a little masterpost of what the tags mean, where they came from, and why they’re important to me! you’ll even get a sneak peek at a few tags that are very rare or have yet to be used 👀. this will be linked in my carrd when i get around to it. i’ve even tried to alphabetize them 😅 thanks for expressing interest, it’s very lovely of you all xoxo

#and i am close behind — home tag

a continuation of “the wild geese are heading home again” which is my nature tag. just for everything that makes me feel like i am coming home.

#and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart — quotes and words tag

from a poem by e.e. cummings. “and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart / i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)”. words are just hearts speaking to each other, after all.

#and i was like *screams* — space tag

from the jenny slate drunk history nasa episode, because she somehow manages to sum up fully 80% of my feelings about the universe in that one sentence

#angstposting — disordered thoughts tag

literally just stream-of-consciousness breakdown-posting. probably block this tag. i go back and clean it out after every breakdown.

#but they are all good stories — media analysis/literature critique tag

hilary mantel (whose work i have never read) wrote that “some of these things are true and some of them lies. but they are all good stories.” anyway, that’s how i feel about taking apart stories and narratives and looking at them from the outside.

#can you not hear the ocean in me — mental health and disorders tag

the non-breakdown version. from this poem, which i can’t find anyone but i think is a deleted inkskinned or caitlyn siehl one:

“i am alive;

can you not hear the ocean in me;

are you not aware of the war i am fighting ;

i am alive ;

you cannot take that from me”

#checkmate nihilism — crafts tag

higgsboshark wrote a lovely post about how knitting is a great treatment for existential dread & now that’s all i think about every time i’m crafting. checkmate, nihilism. look at this thing that i am making with my hands. it exists and it will change someone’s life.

#dumbposting — misc tag

for tag games and dumb comments and things that don’t fit in anywhere else.

#fashion is instant language — fashion/body art tag

okay. IS this a cliche prada quote? yes. but also, one of my first classes in college was about art & society & the first thing that we learned was that the human body is the first & most primal canvas. what you do with your body is a statement, a language you are sharing with the people around you. i get very emotional about it.

#felt rather than seen — poetry tag

YES i am a BASIC WHITE GIRL, thank you. the first half of the da vinci quote. “poetry is painting that is felt rather than seen / “

#fill your arms with the pink and white flowers — spring aesthetic tag

from one of mary oliver’s slightly less well known poems.

“do you also hurry, half-dressed and barefoot, into the garden, and softly

exclaiming of their dearness,

fill your arms with

the pink and white flowers,

with their honeyed heaviness, their lush trembling, their eagerness

to be wild and perfect for a moment, before they are nothing

forever”

#get in good trouble — activism/politics tag

are you really living if you aren’t making trouble for someone? write more letters. leave more voicemails. go to protests. join a mutual aid group. donate. there’s something you can do, even if it’s small.

#i am building a world that is worth living for — moral living tag

slightly different from the activism tag bc this is more about what you/i can do in everyday life to make the world a better place. these are my own words, reminding me that to stay alive i have to build my own life and live in it.

#i care to look on the outside like i do on the inside — gender/ sexuality tag

maggie stiefvater is a poet.

#i have a magpie mind — happy tag

laurie graham’s version of the quote goes “i have a magpie mind, by which i mean i see and hear little things - photos, fragments of conversation - and store them away for future use,” and that’s what this tag is. just a lot of lovely things that i want to look back on.

#i think i was a selkie in a past life — ocean/beach/selkie myth tag

someday i’m going to walk into the ocean and never come out again. j promised he would take me to a warm ocean where i can stand in chest-deep waves until i can’t stand any longer and i’ve never looked forward to anything so much in my life.

#i wrote my own deliverance — creation/writing tag

this is not an admission of guilt. hamilton has a lot of words in it and these happen to be very nice.

#it would be a merrier world — food tag

because tolkien was right.

#laughter for no cause — humor tag

funny things. half of a quote by louise glück.

#let the wilderness engulf us again — discourse tag

i believe this is by christa wolf. anyway this is how i feel when i read Discourse. let’s all just get swallowed by the wilderness. who needs civilization anyway.

#loveposting — affection tag

look, i’m just really gay and happy and i love my followers and my mutuals. let’s move on

#nothing is ever really lost to us as long as we remember it — memory/emotion tag

yes, i have read everything ever written by l m montgomery, why do you ask?

#offspring of heaven firstborn — light tag

constantly debating about whether i should change this one. i just have too many quotes about light. and too many posts about light. and too much love for light. this one is by milton, from the third book of paradise lost, and i memorized the entire chapter as a teenager because my “history” “class” believed in memorization as a form of education.

#our bodies are meant to hold other bodies — sex/eros tag

from that little comic by grendelmenz (?). i KNOW it’s about cannibalism i DON’T care don’t @ me to love is to consume

#seen rather than felt — painting/visual art tag

and here’s the other half of the da vinci quote.

#she stood in desperate music wound — music and playlists tag

from “a crazed girl” by yeats. tbh i usually lie upside down in my bed in desperate music wound but this poem kept me going as a teenager

#simply because the world is beautiful — misc tag

i just think the world is lovely and i am glad to be alive in it. this is where the rest of the assorted content goes.

#someday you will be old enough to read fairytales again — fantasy/gaming/scifi tag

cs lewis got one thing right.

#stardust will turn into kindness — joy tag

okay. okay i am still weeping about this man and his chickens. this tag is for every small creature who brings me delight. https://everychickdeservesamother.com/2019/08/17/all-the-good-there-is/

#thank god for the months after may — summer aesthetic tag

i haven’t listened to ben rector since i was seventeen but this is a good quote anyway and summer flowers are the thing that keep me going through the winter.

#the first sign of civilization is a healed femur — civilization/altruism/kindness tag

paraphrase of the famous (possibly apocryphal) margaret meade quote. i saw a criticism of it by the green brothers, who were like “but lots of people/animals show altruism without any connection to civilization (eg buildings and cities and record keeping systems)” and i deeply disagree with them. civilization doesn’t require monuments, only people coming together to build (metaphorically) something bigger than they could have done as individuals. humans aren’t the only ones on that path, just the ones who’ve gotten the furthest down it.

#the great sweeping wind — autumn aesthetic

yes i am a shameless l m montgomery stan. anne of green gables is my kindred spirit.

#the quick and the dead — fungi tag

from the bible. you know. we all sin, we’re all alive or dead or both. fungi don’t care.

#the race that knows joseph — kindred spirit tag

haven’t gotten to use this one yet. looking forward to when i do.

#the wild geese are heading home again — nature tag

shortened version of mary oliver’s poem.

#there is a history in all men’s lives — history/natural history/anthropology tag

shakespeare knew how to use words. everything is history and i am excited about ALL of it. when will someone admit me into a grad school???

#we are the children of an indifferent universe — community/fandom tag

but, like colin meloy says, we are also the inheritors of a wonderful world. i think it’s amazing how we look at the universe around us and build communities and find meaning out of sheer spite. also i have got to refine this tag set better i can’t just shove ALL fandom content into one tag. stay tuned

#we don’t love this world without reason — awe/joy tag

from catadromously’s comic. this is for things that make me go “oh.” when i see them.

#we shape our buildings; thereafter they shape us — architecture/interior design tag

churchill can have one right. architecture is one of my favorite art forms & interior design is something i love looking at and doing. someday i’ll even be able to afford it.

#we will be better than we were — recovery tag

from (yet another) caitlyn siehl poem that reads:

“love is quiet love whispers “it is okay, we will be better than we were” and we are. we are.”

and we are.

#within me; an invincible summer — winter aesthetic tag

albert camus wrote that: “in the midst of winter, i found there was, within me, an invincible summer. and that makes me happy. for it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger – something better, pushing right back.” winters are hard for me, but i hang on anyway.

#you have no idea the joy that is coming — love tag

guess who this quote is by? if you guessed caitlyn siehl, you are correct.

#you pull out the wild in me - feral aesthetic

not feral, just… wild. i don’t know. i don’t think i made this quote up but i can’t find it anywhere else so maybe i did. i’m guessing it’s now-deleted inkskinned or bonemeadows.

#you’ve got to be kind — misc humans tag

kurt vonnegut. because yeah. we’ve got to be kind. that’s the only rule. we’re just humans and we have to be kind.

6 notes · View notes

wintcrdvst · 5 years ago

Text

𝐃𝐘𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐂 𝐐𝐔𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! under the cut you will find a masterlist of 213 quotes that can be used for otps, brotps and possibly even notps. these were gathered from various sources such as songs and pinterest for personal use, but i figured i might as well share. give a like or reblog if this was useful to you, and enjoy !!

her lips are like the galaxy’s edge

i’d probably still adore you with your hands around my neck

surrounded by the what if’s and the maybe’s

we’ll be the last ones standing

all that’s left is you and me

you are the light at the end of the road

you are my favorite what if

every single moment will be faded into you

still remember a time when you felt like home

i see the love i have and it is all for you

the only heaven i’ll be sent to is when i’m alone with you

i found god‚ i found him in a lover

he’s off to pay his crimes and he’s got no time for mine

oh baby girl you know we’re gonna be legends

you know the two of us are just young gods

i’m a king and you’re a queen and we will stumble through heaven

if you wanna go to heaven you should fuck me tonight

if i am the waves then you must be the moon

temperatures rising‚ i don’t want to feel

been wondering if your heart’s still open and if so i wanna know what time it shuts

open up next to you and my secrets become your truth

i only love it when you touch me‚ not feel me

tell me that you love me even if it’s fake

whatever our souls are made of‚ his and mine are the same

every moment with you sounds like welcome home

you say my name and it comes out like a dark confession

my love for you is the only thing i’m sure of

the devil kissed my neck and it felt like heaven

it’s our paradise and it’s our warzone

this is what happens when a tornado meets a volcano

i’m running in circles watching you call someone else’s name

all i want is the taste that your lips allow

your eyes hold everything my soul thirsts for

every bit of love that i possess within me, all of it, is just for you

of all the things my hands have held the best by far is you

no other word makes my mouth as tender as your name

my heart is so full of you i can hardly call it my own

my soul will find yours

in a room full of art i’d still stare at you

they know you walk like you’re a god‚ they can’t believe i made you weak

i would kill to be the cold tracing your body and shaking your bones

i was a king under your control

perhaps the monsters needed to look out for each other every now and then

he knows me‚ every inch of my tar black soul

souls don’t speak‚ yet ours spoke fluently

you are the only place that feels like home

bite my neck and call me angel

we were fire and water‚ love laced with sin

my demons are in love with yours

you were like death and i was like war‚ and where we collided‚ darling‚ i loved you

i have looked at you in millions of ways and i have loved you in each

you gave me peace in a lifetime of war

if you’re gonna be the death of me that’s how i wanna go

my love‚ you are worth it all

she chased away my demons with the stars in her eyes

his hands on my flesh‚ so gentle yet commanding‚ make me want to sin

there’s a light in the crack that’s separating your thighs

swear to god i’m a sinner in a church burnin’ up for you

we fight every night for something‚ when the sun sets we’re both the same

i gave you everything and it’s a beautiful crime

made it through the maze to find my one in a million

maybe i’ll hold my breath and jump right in

i want to reconcile the violence in your heart

i want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart

you may be a sinner but your innocence is mine

she took my heart‚ i think she took my soul

fucked around and got attached to you

you were sent to me from the skies above

give me love and all your hate

i’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife

i dare you to let me be your one and only

you have my heart inside of your hand

with the same damn hunger to be touched‚ to be loved‚ to feel anything at all

please don’t forget me and all the things we did

we sin as devils do‚ we love as angels do

hell is just another place i’ll go to keep you warm

how does it feel with my teeth in your heart

do you know what it means to have death know your name

when i see you‚ it feels like coming home

i want to build you an empire that forgets to collapse

i crave you; even in the darkness‚ even in blood

i loved you long before i had the guts to let you know

i always feel at home with her‚ no matter how far away from home we are

death sits in the seat next to me; we make a lovely couple

with his educated eyes and his head between my thighs

i fell in love with the subject of sin

you come in waves

when hell freezes over

i’ll let you drag me through hell if it means you’ll hold my hand

until the end of the world

i know your heart

you and i and no one else

anytime you need a friend i’m gonna be by your side

how wonderful life is with you in the world

i could be yours

i know you used to love me in every way

i loved and i loved and i lost you and it hurts like hell

i wish you were a ship that was guided by the touch of my lips

the two of us went up in smoke

yours are the sweetest eyes i’ve ever seen

let me love the lonely out of you

falling seems so easy

no matter where you go you know you’re not alone

i’ll always be by your side

your eyes are where i’m lost in

i wanna get lost with you

i loved you then and i love you now

haunted by the ghost of you

if you don’t mind me saying so i love you

as long as you say you’re mine

take away all my sin‚ give me a sweet prayer on my lips

i will follow you into the dark

you’re a king and i’m a lionheart

as the world comes to an end i’ll be here to hold your hand

i find shelter in your arms

put your lips close to mine as long as they don’t touch

i swear i thought i dreamed her

maybe i just wanna be yours

the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can’t say tomorrow day

i want you to want me again

never knew loving could hurt this good

you’re driving me wild

i can be the subject of your dreams

i had fallen in love with you before i knew

like the dawn you broke the dark

when we go crashing down we come back every time

like gods at the dawning of the world

i would know him in death‚ at the end of the world

he is half of my soul like the poets say

i wanna ruin our friendship‚ we should be lovers instead

i don’t wanna be your friend‚ i wanna kiss your neck

your eyes will lead me straight back home

friends shouldn’t kiss me like you do

remember my love for you won’t fade

for your eyes only i will show my heart

just say you won’t let go

i tasted the divine and she left my lips dripping with love

even when the world is against us i’ll keep you warm

my soul will find you each time

thought we built a dynasty that heaven couldn’t shake

i’ll be your escape‚ i’ll be your safe place

she was my salvation‚ i was her destruction

we should just kiss like real people do

the world may disapprove but my world is only you

lend me your hand and we’ll conquer them all

wherever there is you i will be there too

close to you i feel i’m at home

if i die may it be of love and if i love may it be you

if your body was a book i’d read a thousand chapters

i want to love in you and get lost in you only

i want to hide you in my heart and not open it after that

we return to each other in waves

let him be soft and let him be mine

i didn’t know that i was starving until i tasted you

i was with you before we were even born

he was her warmth‚ she was his peace

what a lovely way to burn

if i told you about the darkness inside of me would you still look at me like i’m the sun

kiss me with adventure until i forget my name

as the dust settles around us

maybe we started this fire

touch me only when nobody knows

your love is my poison

i wanna taste the way that you bleed

you are the devil in me

wherever you go you can always come home

you’d be like heaven to touch

you changed everything

you feed this fire and walk away

lately i’ve been craving more

i’ve been cold since you left

make me feel like i am breathing

i’ll fucking digest you one kiss at a time

you wish i was yours and i hope that you’re mine

i met her at church but she could be satan

with one kiss you inspired a fire of devotion

i am the blank page before you

i am the fine idea you crave

don’t know why‚ just know i want you

don’t care why‚ just know i love you

to say that we’re in love is dangerous

i will follow you anywhere

i’d kiss you if it wouldn’t kill me

this isn’t love but it’s more than infatuation

i’m at your will‚ can’t you see what you do to me

if this could kill‚ you can read me my eulogy

three puzzle pieces fit together perfectly

my heart found a home in yours

you make me feel like i am home again

enter a king and a queen

he set fire to the world around him but never let a flame touch her

too busy being yours to fall for somebody new

if love is anything tangible‚ it is his mouth

in the middle of my chaos‚ there was you

all we do is think about the feelings that we hide

he tastes like every dark thought i’ve ever had

heaven is a place on earth with you

i can feel you running through my veins

following my heart will always lead me to you

a sea of rum couldn’t intoxicate me as much as a drop of you

i found the devil‚ i found him in a lover

i hadn’t tasted love until i tasted you

no place like home‚ no place like her

i was made for loving you

there is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin

if we can’t find heaven i’ll walk through hell with you

i’m drowning in these memories

i found love where it wasn’t supposed to be

fire and ice‚ they go hand in hand

in all chaos there is calculation

two thirds of my soul

us against the world

two heartbeats under me

#rph #tag masterlist #tags masterlist #otp tags #rpt #*#masterlist*#tag help.#masterlist.

505 notes · View notes

latin-dr-robotnik · 4 years ago

Text

Hey, thanks @beevean for tagging me! <3

name: Sebastian

gender: Male

star signs: ☀️ Leo ⬆️ Pisces 🌜 (I thought I was LIbra Moon but last year a friend told me to check and I think it said Leo Moon...? idk I’ll check again someday)

height: 1.70m

time: 15:45

birthday: August 2nd

favorite bands: NTVG, LFC, Sumo, Gorillaz, Daft Punk... idk too many to name, I’m also very on and off with Ska-P.

favorite solo artists: You know me, I’m a very big Funk Fiction nerd, but apart from him I’m mostly a “I dig some of their songs” guy, with examples like Stevie Wonder. Still waiting on Kavinsky’s new record, though.

song stuck in my head: Ilegal (remember yesterday’s post? well, it’s official, it is legal. A pretty historic moment), Never Fade Away (heard it gets even more emotional at the end of the game, I’m still far from reaching it) and since I started writing this, Crimen Sollicitationis (such a fucked up song, it’s great.)

last movie: Last night there was a random indie movie on TV while I was cooking, don’t know its name, I only got the ending, where it seemed to be like a POV of two people going on a date to a bar and the weirdness of the moment (I agree, heck, even dating my best friend feels weird lol.)

last show: Rompan Todo (the mini-series I was talking about.)

when did i create this blog: I think March 2018.

what do i post: Sonic, Sonic music, Sonic shipping, Sonic opinions--SUDDENLY MULTIFANDOM. Politics, then back to Sonic.

last thing i googled: “sonic lost world juice archipelago” lol

other blogs: Seaside Hill Paradise, and the older Tumblr blog that got nuked when I swapped to this one.

do i get asks: The Sonic drought affected my asks, until last year I used to get a healthy amount of asks about shipping and/or prompts, this year? Not so much.

why i chose this url: I always say this, but I’m awful at (user)names (I was actually considering changing all my names to only one, but I already forgot it lol)

following: 65 (always looking to follow more, but there were cases this year where I actually did not want to interact with a good chunk of people.)

followers: 286 (hey, thank you! No, not you, pornbots, gtfo.)

average hours of sleep: After Christmas I was clocking like 12 hours lol now I’m back to 8 actually.

lucky number: 3...?

instruments: Guitar, I wonder if I could be a good drummer tho.

what i’m wearing: green shorts and a dark blue shirt (summer, yayyyy!)

dream job: Anything that can let me to talk non-stop about History and get paid for it lol

dream trip: pre-covid I would’ve said maybe somewhere in Spain or Italy, now in covid times and with a second wave coming mid-summer, even the closest beach seems like a dream trip.

favorite food: Pizza.

nationality: 🇦🇷

favorite song: Right now? Doin’ My Best. All time? probably Canción para Naufragios.

last book i read: Last thing I read are the Sonic (comic)books haha, I’m looking forward to read a new book that can get just as controversial as the Sonic comics (but I’d take that book over engaging in more fandom shit) in the coming weeks.

top three fictional universes i’d like to live in: Sonic, the Stardew Valley world where land access in a lovely rural community is a non-issue, and probably Kipo’s world now that the series is over.

Now, I should tag people here... eh, I don’t feel like it today. Be my guest if you want, though.

#latin dr robotnik stuff

2 notes · View notes

snkpolls · 5 years ago

Text

SnK Chapter 122 Poll Results

The chapter 122 poll closed with 1,472 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

RATE THE CHAPTER 1,428 Responses

This is one for the record books. Chapter 122 is officially the highest rated chapter since we started the poll. A whopping 85.2% of respondents gave it the top rating. The previous record holder was chapter 101 (79.8%) which featured the long awaited return of the Survey Corps.

5 out of 5 for the pig who seeks freedom! Fight For Freedom! Revolt! Revolt! Revolt!

Each chapter is becoming my favorite every time and this one isn't different. It's a fantastic read.

In a single chapter Founder Ymir became one of my top five characters in this series point blank.

I thought nothing could top chapter 100. 122 is the best one of the entire story.

A turning point. Very well executed. Congrats, Isayama, can't wait to see what you still have on store!

Yet another mind-blowing chapter, honestly one of my favorites in the series! Honestly, this was a chapter I have been awaiting since I started getting into SnK, and those feelings increased following the basement reveal chapters where we are left to wonder which parts of Ymir's story are true and which are false.

One of the best chapters of the series! Definitely gave me a new appreciation for Attack on Titan from a story telling standpoint.

I love how many questions this answers and also creates; I’m happy that there are still many things left a mystery!

Aamazing chapter, I fucking cried. Now give me Historia, Isayama. I need her.

I'm just so happy to see it finally coming together and not be let-down

If Floch doesn't die in the Rumbling I want a refund

Worldwide genocide, taking care of kids, get you a man who can do both

LEEEEET'S GET READY TO RUUUUUUUUUUUMBLE!!!

Damn, Isayama.

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOMENT? 1,439 Responses

You guys are almost as split on this question as Ymir’s Titan Powers are. Speaking of, she also happens to directly occupy the two most common answers, with 48.7% rating their favorite moment as either her backstory, or her conversation with Eren.The fall of the walls takes third place, followed by Eren’s revival and the cliffhanger at the end of the chapter.

WHO IS MOST RESPONSIBLE FOR 'STARTING THIS STORY?' 1,419 Responses

You started this story, didn’t you: pig who got freed? 45.1% feel that the earliest in story event makes for a good starting point. Just over ¼ of respondents felt the Founder Ymir Fritz is most responsible. 8.4% feel it’s Eren, and only 3.4% chose Grisha for whom the quote originally signified. The most popular write-in answer, King Fritz, overtook poor Grisha at 4.2%. Variations on King Fritz in the write-ins numbered almost 200.

People's greed. It started with the first King Fritz and it continued with the next generations

The Eldians (First Fritz)

Isayama. He started the whole story! If that wasn't him, the pigs would not run away.

Everybody has played their own part, it is not simply a matter of what single person is the most responsible.

The Attack titan

The Marleyean military higher ups that ordered Bertolt, Reiner, Annie and Marcel to breach the walls of Paradis Island

Those that blamed Ymir

The spinal fluid that was inside the three because if that wasn't there, titans would have never existed in the first place.

The cycle of violence/hatred/slavery. The King Fritz probably wasn't the first to be this way. The story has no true beginning because it's a cycle, but Eren will be the end.

King Dickz

The first King. Why isn't it an option?

WHO DO YOU THINK IS THE MOST CONNECTED TO/PARALLELS YMIR THE MOST? 1,422 Responses

Our current queen seems to resemble the first queen quite a bit, with almost half of respondents, at 46.8% saying Historia parallels original Ymir the most. 35% feel Ymir is most connected to, well, Ymir. 14.3% chose Eren, and a sliver of votes went to Zeke at 1.6%.

Though there are more parallels to Freckled Ymir, the pregnancy of Ymir Fritz can be a connection-foreshadowment of Historia's pregnancy plan. So I'll say that there are parallels to both Freckled ymir and Historia.

Mikasa is a lot like pre freedom ymir

Anyone who has been trapped in life

Connected to: Eren. Parallels: Freckled Ymir.

both Historia and freckled Ymir, obvs. And Mikasa, to a lesser extent

A lot of the cast parallel OG Ymir

Grisha

Definitely Freckled Ymir. She took the blame of all those people in the hopes of being useful or wanted through her sacrifice and then got the power of the titans.

Ymir has parallels to Historia, freckled Ymir and Zeke

Time will show.

I'd say both Historia and Ymir: the cult picked up Ymir, who was a homeless child, similar to how Founder Ymir was a slave without name or status; the two of them stood for their people even after they've been denounced out of cowardice and fought for someone else until their very end, out of pure selflessness. Historia parallels Founder Ymir by how she became a slave of her blood, and a tool to be used.

I was gonna say Oluo, but he never actually lost his tongue.

HAVE YOUR OPINIONS SHIFTED NEGATIVELY ON ELDIA? 1,421 Responses

In a conflict with no clear start, we get to see further back into the past! But did the revelations change your mind? The vast majority at 66.3% don’t give a flying fritz about who started it, they just want to see the bloodshed end. 12.7% say their outlook has changed but Marley is more in the wrong still; and only 5.3% had this chapter change their mind to the Eldians being most at fault.

All the men in power are as bad as each other

Both nations committed atrocities

Both sides are slaves to history, Eldia today is not responsible for the actions 2000 years ago.

Eldia in the past I always figured were some tyrannical force, I mean what else would happen with an ancient civilisation discovering the Power of the Titans. But Marley's propaganda having some truth to it doesn't mean they're justified in their treatment of Eldians in the modern day who had nothing to do with the original Eldia.

How could we know? What was the relationship between eldia and Marley before Ymir turned into a titan? Was Marley in the wrong before they were overtaken by eldia/even before king fritz took Marley people prisoner?

King Fritz is the one to blame. Not all of Eldia and ESPECIALLY not the Survey Corps.

Marley is more in wrong because they are continuing to perpetuate the conflict in the present.

The current characters we love and want to end up happy have nothing to do with the past, they just want to be free.

EVERYONE IS IN THE WRONG BUT THAT'S HOW THE WORLD WORKS

There's neither bad or right in this story "Everyone can become a god or a devil, all it takes is for someone to claim that to be the truth"

WHO IS THE BIGGEST ASSHOLE IN THE MANGA THUS FAR? 1,433 Responses

In a story filled with lovable characters, there’s also tons of douchenozzles. 67.7% believe the original King Fritz is the worst of them all. 17.2% took the intellectual route and responded with “Yes”.

All of them are rotten, selfish and full of hatred people who only think about themselves and are ready to manipulate own children (or other people) for own benefits.

first king Fritz of Eldia and Eren

Gabi a.k.a. Garbage

I believe king fritz and gross deserve eatch other, they are the assholes of their times

I'm surprised Zeke finally got a rival in being the worst human ever in person of King Fritz.

No recognition for our very own Darius 'poo-chair' Zackly?

Most have a at least some humanizing (if not redeeming) qualities, but both King Fritz and Gross are evil to the core

King Fritz, but Flock is also an big asshole (it's never a bad time to point that)

Where's Zeke? To be honest I can't decide between Fritz, Floch, and Zeke.

Who the fuck put floch here, come here and fight

Why on earth are Karina and Alma here? They were horrid mothers to their kids; the others are guilty of murder, torture and genocide.

Ymir Fritz because she received godlike powers and decided to stay with a power hungry king; she was free and could have done anything but because of her slave mentality she decided to stay with him for 13 years! as uncle Ben said "With great power comes great responsibility"

The 145th king is the only one who did unreasonable bad things to his people, he literally allowed his people to be enslaved all over the world and he allowed the future genocide of his people. The worst thing is this doesn't do anything. It doesn't save the world from anything. Even the paradise he created was all for himself because he couldn't deal with reality. His logic is faulty, but even so he couldn't even do the job himself. The only one that can be worst than him is Zeke who's another evil man who wants to exterminate his own people. But, unlike Karl, Zeke is willing to do the job himself.

That goddamn pig

WHAT IS THE TREE YMIR FOUND? 1,424 Responses

In a chapter with so many answers, we still have vague origins! Starting from the start, what in the world is that tree? Over half of you, at 55.5%, think it’s Attack on Titan’s version of the Yggdrasil tree from Norse mythology. 24.2% say it’s the source of all organic matter we’ve heard discussed. 11.3% say it just grew out of what it’s housing, and 5.9% think it’s similar to the forest of giant trees.

A connection between a human and the Earth, hence the Devil of All Earth

A wellspring or hidden primordial lake

Yggdrasil but is the source of all organic matter somehow, and I think it's somehow related to the trees on Paradis being so big.

A hideout for that Hallucigenia thing left by the devil

It appears almost as a man and women embracing. Adam and Eve??

It doesn't matter. It was never about the origin of the titans, it was about the power of the titans and the moral implications of it. How the titans came to be is irrelevant.

The Great Deku Tree dungeon

Titan tree. It is probably the same species as the trees surrounding it, but has grown unnaturally large due to the parasite in it's water source.

Tree

WHAT IS THE THING IN THE TREE YMIR FOUND? 1,421 Responses

Another layer of mystery within the mystery tree! Two main thoughts emerged and are almost even in popularity. 46.9% believe it is the source of all organic matter; wheread 44.3% say it’s a parasite of unknown origin. 3.2% say it’s in fact the devil itself.

A connection to the earth, making her the Devil

A *Symbiote* of unknown origin

A root of the tree that connects whoever it touches with the paths realm

A root of the tree that's been soaked and absorbing the water; the water is the real source.

I've seen enough hentai to know that is an alien

It could be the very first living being on this planet, a sort of progenitor from which all genes and all variations of biodiversity came to be.

Just a spine in the water turning little girl to big girl. What's supposed to be special about that?

This world's version of Níðhöggr, the many legged dragon that eats at the roots of the Tree of Life.

The spine of the previous founder

The Great Deku Tree dungeon boss. Ymir lost.

A poorly designed shit-machine that can't get the job done

A L I E N S

DID YMIR TEMPORARILY DIE WHEN SHE FELL IN THE TREE? 1,425 Responses

When Ymir fell into the tree, did she drown? The majority of the fanbase doesn’t feel anything like that happened, whereas over a ¼ at 26.6% feel she died and was revived. 5% believe she died, and was thereafter controlled by the parasite type thing.

Dying and being brought back to life is meant to be Zeke's thing!!

I think she was almost dying but the parasite healed her.

It revived her and created a clone within the paths dimension.

I think Ymir's body as a child is still in that tree to this day, with the parasite still attached to her. It was deep underground, thus affecting the ground shared by its roots (assuming this is Paradis), and being the reason for all the giant trees. It also explains a little Titans being creatures of the Earth, and Ymir forming them with sand.

She became a Titan seconds before dying

She probably passed out for a few seconds after she drowned, and it was during that brief state of unconsciousness that parasite attached to her.

Ymir the human died, and Ymir the Titan was born. That's why Ymir the human is in the Paths and not Ymir the Titan. Ymir the Human sculpts the titan body for her Titan self, because time is infinite and strange in Paths.

A mix of both Yes answers - it revived her but also controlled her body so that she could only watch on as an observer. It makes her more of a slave without a free will as something else is literally controlling her body from within her and she can’t do anything about it

P A T H S

WHAT IS THE BIGGEST STANDOUT TO YOU ABOUT YMIR'S TITAN DESIGN? 1,429 Responses

We finally got to see the original founding titan in the flesh! The ribs sticking out stuck out to 39.7% the most. 29.5% of you found it interesting that the overall design was uglier than the goddess like depictions we’ve seen. 17.6% went for the skull face she has, and 11.8% simply went for the HUGE size.

All of above, just look at that atrocity

Her missing eyes

Everything, the ribs were the first thing I noticed with the face being next. It took me a 2nd read through the chapter to realize that she is bigger than the Colossal titan. Definitely one of the best titan designs from Isayama

How malnourished it looks

It's terrifying and it's the fusion of the 9 titans

The fact that it looks nothing like I expected or imagined

Everything about it - One can see exactly why the truth about her was easily manipulated.

ON A SCALE OF 1 TO 5, HOW OFFENSIVE TO YOU IS THE FACT THAT THE ORIGINAL WARHAMMER TITAN HAD HAIR? 1,418 Responses

This question was for that one guy who absolutely could not deal with the original WHT’s hair. You’re in good company, but the results are about as polarized as global politics. 35% want Emma back immediately, 16.4% don’t really care about this egregious crime, and 32.4% are totally indifferent. Only 16% had slight feelings in either direction. The poll lawyers are telling me that I have to clarify that Emma is still only a fandom name for the previous Warhammer. Get on it Isayama.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE DESIGNS WE SAW FOR THE ORIGINAL TITANS?

You guys liked Ymir’s Founding Titan so much that it’s literally off the charts. The original Attack Titan got some pretty mixed reviews, but the general consensus is that you guys prefer an Eren and/or a Jaeger to be driving that thing. The scourge of the hair comes back to beat down the original Warhammer’s ratings as well, but the majority remain indifferent. Speaking of indifference, more of you were indifferent about the OG Colossal Titan than had strong feelings one way or another combined. We’ll see how that result changes when it ends up CGI in Season 4. The general consensus on the original Armored Titan is, “It’s alright, I guess.” The Female Titan was the second on the list to have a majority “Love” rating, though whether this is due to the design or severe Annie Deprivation Syndrome remains to be seen.

DID YMIR MANAGE TO GRAB THE 'MOST TRAGIC BACKSTORY' AWARD? 1,422 Responses

Another tear jerking childhood to add to the list, but does it top it? The overwhelming majority at 83.5% feel that she did earn that award of tragedy. 6.3% believe the classic sufferboi Reiner still tops the charts. 3.4% went for Levi, 1.8% for the other Ymir, 0.7% for Zeke and 0.4% for Historia.

Everyone has suffered uniquely in this series, how can I choose ?

First, I'm offended Grisha wasn't included here. Second, everyone's suffered too much. So they all win.

Her backstory definitely is the darkest and saddest one. Reiner, Historia, Ymir and the rest had their moments of happiness. They were surrounded by loving people. Ymir was always all alone; born as a slave, had full of sadness life and after death she was creating titans for 2000 years. She just wanted to be free and wanted be loved, yet she had none of that.

Homegirl is still living her 2000-year-long tragic backstory, she definitely wins

I don't think tragic backstories should be a competition

I think you forgot about Mr Yeager :) those guys are not even close to him

Is this Suffering Olympics or something?

Ymir and Mikasa the most sad tragic backstory

Ymir is always showed as a mindless slave, even at the start of her backstory, it is too hard to empathize with someone that never acted as a human being and lived her whole life without any emotion

Grisha easily has it for me. Ymir's circumstances were worse from birth, and Reiner's dissonance and misery is tragic, but Grisha's perceived misery throughout his cycles of perpetual tragedy shows that he easily suffered the most.

Give them all a hug.

P I G

WAS THE MURDERER OF YMIR HELOS? 1,408 Responses

Is Helos historical or completely fabricated? 10.7% believe the Marleyan who killed Ymir is in fact Helos, and 66.9% believe the character is based on him. 22.4% don’t believe the idea of Helos and this man are related in any way.

The one showing rebellion in this chapter is the figure serving as a role model for Helos. Unlike Ymir, he was powerless and only had his spear, but he took enough courage to show resistance to Eldia's domination and toss his spear at the king. He paid it with his life, but he fatally wounded Ymir in return, showing even the goddess of titans could bleed. I'm confident the myth of Helos is going to be relevant in the future chapters.

YMIR didn't die with the spear-throw..I think her conscious form was stuck in the paths before her body revived.

Helos? Really?? Helos???

WHICH OF THESE LIKELY TO BE CENSORED SCENES WAS THE MOST GRUESOME? 1,421 Responses

In a series filled with gore, this chapter was above average with violence. Ymir’s young daughters cannibalizing their mother was the most gruesome according to almost all of you at 89.2%. Second place is a bit behind at 3.5%, with centipede spine Eren.

All of the above

Everything but Centipede Eren

The guy getting his tongue cut out that was even censored for the manga.

We've seen lots of people being eaten so not that, and Erentipede is going to be stunning animated so not that. Maybe head on a pike.

The tongue cut from the beginning really horrified me, it put the chapter in a great atmosphere from the start

No mention about that slave getting his tongue cut out by those ancient Eldian soldiers? That was pretty grizzle. That panel implies that all people enslaved by the Eldians lost their tongues upon getting captured, which meant that Ymir likely lost her tongue as well. That really explains how she had no spoken dialogue in the past, and while the tongue may have regenerated following her first Titan transformation, the length of time she couldn't speak and her status most likely prevented her from speaking.

No need to be censored

WHAT DOES EREN MEAN BY 'PUT AN END TO THIS WORLD'? 1,419 Responses

Eren’s finally stated what he plans to do; but what does it mean!? 45.9% believe the world he plans to destroy is the paths realm, eldning titans that way. 25.4% think he just meant dismantling the status quo of the world. 14.4% say he’s just going to rumble enemies of Eldia, whereas 10.6% say the whole earth.

All options seem plausible

Destroy the PATHS realm and rumble the enemies invading Eldia.

He plans to rumble all life, destroy the paths realm, AND erase all the memories of the remaining Eldians on Paradis so they completely forget about the history of the titans, thus effectively making the past 2000 years seem like they never even happened. ANDHe plans to destroy the PATHS realm, putting an end to titans

He wants to destroy the world as it is now. He wants to create a world where none of the things that happened to Ymir can ever happen again.

I think he just needs a nap

I understand that fandom wants to see Eren as good guy who will not destroy the world, but I think that everything is simple - Eren is planning to use full rumbling; destroy the whole world, kill millions of innocent people, animals and plants.

IT ALL COMES RUMBLING DOWN RUMBLING DOWN RUMBLING DOWN

4+5

HOW DOES THIS CHAPTER RELATE TO THE SCENE OF EREN CRYING IN CHAPTER 1? 1,399 Responses

2,000 years ago, 2,000 years from now. The titles of this and chapter one parallel, but what else? Over half of you, at 52.7% believe Eren was sent Ymir’s feelings when she had her emotional epiphany. 33.5% say Eren was sent memories of what’s about to happen, and 11.1% don’t think anything from this chapter related to Eren crying in chapter one specifically.

1st Chapter name suggest it does, but it just make no sense as Eren at that point didn't had attack titan power, so he could not receive others memories

Eren crying will be due to the consequences of this chapter

Eren learns of Ymir's backstory

I don't think Isayama meant for it to originally mean anything this far in the story, but I think there could be some Paths tomfoolery going on.

Eren saw the memories of his death and literally everything until that moment

Eren was sent a message like a cry for help maybe? Strong, intense feelings of sadness and despair... Because in this chapter Eren says she'd been waiting for someone for 2000 years, so I am guessing 2000 years ago she started sending a message.

ON A SCALE OF "EH" TO "I NEED TO HUG HER, HOW DID YOU FEEL SEEING LITTLE YMIR TEAR UP? 1,417 Responses

Sad Girl Hours have officially been endorsed by Hajime Isayama himself. 73.7% of you guys are in full support, and an additional 15.2% of your mice slipped when answering. 6.9% of you guys kinda just wanna see something else happen, and the first one of you on Reddit to say “Nice.” about that is getting sent to Paradis. Lastly, a grand total of 60 of you defy all explanation.

I want to hug Ymir so bad :( mute babby

WHY WAS EREN THE FIRST TO OPEN YMIR'S EYES? 1,415 Responses

It took 2,000 years for Ymir to open her eyes and her heart, what about Eren got her to that point? 29.9% think he was the only person to ever empathize with her at all, 8.4% think it was simply Eren’s chadness, while 8.3% think it’s only because the previous royals viewed her as a slave. The majority at 41.1% feel it’s a mix of all available options.

Because he was born into this world

Because he is the protagonist

He embraced her and showed her compassion- something she never felt before

Defiance of old wills. He does, after all "just keep moving forward."

Eren didn't seek to use Ymir as a slave

Eren made her realize that she isn't a slave OR a god. She was enslaved and in later years worshipped, but just like Eren: from the moment she was born, she was free

He knew/experienced everything she went through.

He manipulated her to be able to use her powers

He was the first person to tell her she could make her own choices

He was the only one that put his ideals over his personal gain to the end. Ymir is a slave, therefor Eren frees her from her slavery. /The previous royals viewed her as a slave

TALK NO JUTSU 2 GOOD; Eren is good at manipulating kids when it suits his needs best + He was the only one to ever empathize with her

WHAT IS YOUR PRIMARY THOUGHT ON THE CENTIPEDE SPINE THAT SAVED EREN? 1,417 Responses

Eren’s alive! But what is that… thing? IT LOOKS AWESOME! 32.9% had that as their first response. It was nearly a three way split though, and 30.6% first thought of how it must look for those for whom only a moment has passed since his head flew off. 30.2% quickly made the connection that it looks like the parasite thingy Ymir Fritz found. Only 3.2% thought it looked stupid as hell.

CREEPY but COOL

DO NOT WANT

100/10, better than Kaneki

Ken is hiring a lawyer for copyrights lawsuits against Eren.

I am wondering, what if this is basically Ymir's renouncing of the power she had, finally freeing herself, and thus passing it on to Eren?

I thought that Eren was becoming Níðhöggr, the literal devil that causes Ragnarok (the apocalypse). He looks really cool and frightening at the same time, I love this young man!

It cant be stopped anymore and weird for whom only a second passed

It looks less like a centipede and more like roots to me.

My thought, "The hell is that?!"

Nothing personal Eren, but burn that thing immediately.

Oh thank goodness Eren didn't split into two.

pure "why is the boss music changing to MORE intense?", and that's great

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT EREN SURVIVING THE BEHEADING? 1,410 Responses

44.3% of you are really enthusiastic about Eren surviving his beheading, despite proclaiming that you knew it’d happen anyway. It takes the noggin for a joggin’, but I’m not here to judge. 27.1% of you guys are relatively indifferent about it, and 21.1% of you didn’t think you’d like it, but ultimately bent the knee before Isayama’s storytelling abilities.

Am I surprised? No. Are you surprised? No

Disappointed but not surprised...

Excited, but wondering how he is actually going to die.

GABI GANG BTFO

It was predictable but the revival still felt epic

It was predictable since he's the main character, c'mon anyone else would die like Porco did.

oshiete oshiete

THE WALLS HAVE FINALLY FALLEN! WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THIS MOMENT? 1,410 Responses

A moment that’s been built up so long, what feeling took over when it finally happened? Most of the fanbase, at 68.3%, were just in awe at how well Isayama pulled it off. 14.2% were filled with hope that Eren actually made it happen. On the opposite end of the spectrum 13.5% were filled with dread.

All of the above. This story is a rollercoaster.

Dread as the wall titans are facing into Paradis so Eren's plan may backfire!

Everything in the manga has led to this moment

I kind of thought/hoped the rumbling would be a red herring, but oh well. it'll still be cool

I want them do the colossal dance

I was hoping this chapter won't end with cliffhanger

IT ALL COMES RUMBLING DOWN RUMBLING DOWN RUMBLING DOWN

Looks very dramatic, will be momentous animated, still not surprising since I think a lot of us knew it was gonna happen eventually

meh, I want the story to advance, but the rumbling never grabbed me as an event I was waiting for

LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE!!!!!

I peed

IN SUCH A BEAUTIFULLY DRAWN CHAPTER, WHICH WAS YOUR FAVORITE DOUBLE SPREAD? 1,412 Responses

Isayama’s art truly has improved over the years and this chapter showcased that. The final panel left the biggest impression on 33.7% of you. 25.1% felt a deep impact from Ymir’s emotional closeup, and the walls cracking and crumbling rounds out the top 3 at 14.8%.

All of them

Original 9 titans.

the one where Ymir was building thousands of collosal titans

not so beautifully drawn but still nice

The pages with Ymir alone in the Paths realm while Fritz tells his daughters to continue the reign of Titans and Eldia

Ymir’s children eating her

IN CHAPTER 86 GRISHA MANAGED TO QUOTE KING FRITZ WITHOUT BEING ABLE TO READ THE "HISTORICAL" DOCUMENTS. HOW WAS THIS POSSIBLE? 1,406 Responses

In this chapter King Fritz used the same line Grisha did when learning about Ymir much further down the line. Half of the fanbase at 50.6% don’t feel that anything’s at play and it was just Grisha making assumptions based on what information he had. Just about ¼ at 25.7% feel paths are involved but they don’t have to explain anything after that. 14.2% feel there was a chain of memory sending that led to the result we got.

Actually Grisha never deciphered the documentation. I thought it was obvious he was being portrayed as extremist at the point to show the other side of the coin. Both sides just make up facts as they want.

I suppose it being the exact wording as what the King said made people think there was memories shenanigans but Isayama does these kind of parallels all the time, with characters saying something word for word that they don’t have knowledge of.

"Grisha how did you understand this?" "Pretty pictures."

WILL THERE BE A RUMBLING? 1,413 Responses

The walls have fallen. What will happen next? In a near even split, 48.1% win out saying there will be a small scale rumbling, whereas 45% say it will be worldwide. Only 6.9% feel there won’t be any form of rumbling at all.

I WAS WAITING FOR YEARS FOR THE RUMBLING!!!!!!

AWESOME! But i really don't want a full scale rumbling

Eren is becoming more and more the last antagonist of this story and it's just scary how some people in the fandom understand and support Eren's plan. Hopefully Marley, Zeke and the SC will working together to stop the rumbling and Eren.

i really dont think eren is gonna go full rumbling or even in a small scale, hes gonna end the word dominated by titans by taking away the titan power from eldians

The rumbling isn't a metaphor people. Eren is planning to kill billions of innocents. Can't wait for the warriors and 104th to team up and put down that mad dog.

Zeke said it himself a few chapters back: Eldia would have no chance of fighting the entire World Army; the Rumbling really seemed to be their only way out, and launching those Colossal Titans now as a pre-emptive strike would be the best way to suppress the Army before they can even attack.

I have a feeling that the rumbling will turn out to be anti- climatic. Lots of people seem to be pinning their hopes on the rumbling being the cure-all to Eldia's problems, but the world of attack on titan is not that kind.

WHAT/WHO IS THE TITAN FORMING AT THE END? 1,412 Responses

The chapter ended with a titan forming, but what will it end up being? Barely over half, at 51.6% believe it to be Eren with a power up from Ymir Fritz. 20.5% think it’s Eren with Ymir attached in some way, and 14.1% think Eren has accessed a new form on his own.

Eren and Ymir combined, rather than attached. Could be a new Titan form, could be Attack Titan on Titan Steroids. Need to wait until 123 to maybe find out.

Eren in Warhammer, he is not in the nape

Centipide Titan that will die after getting out of energy

Eren with full power from the Founder, Attack and Warhammer

I'm thinking it's some sort of founder-unlocked version of Eren's titan. Maybe Ymir is giving him full control now.

Eren and Ymir fused. Ymen

It's Eren but I don't know how his titan will look like and I don't care about it, cause I'm more worried about Gabi.

Eren's founding titan form. He had it all along, but he could never use it, until now.

The last two sound so lewd without context

DEATH FLAGS! WHO IN SHIGANSHINA IS GOING TO DIE AS A RESULT OF IMMINENT EVENTS? 1,340 Responses

I was gonna ask for Fs in the chat for whoever led in the results for this question, but then I saw it was Floch, so… Fs in the chat for Magath I guess, because a lot of you seem to think Hulk Hogan is going to suplex him (and Floch) through a table at Royal Rumble DCCCLIV. That’s fancy talk for “die.” Pieck and Zeke are pretty high on the list as well. There’s a lot of information here, so I won’t give you all the specifics in this written part—take a look! Armin has 92 votes, which lands him at 6.9% don’t say it Reddit, and Mikasa has 117 votes, with only 8.7% of you suspecting death in her immediate future. For a brick, she flies pretty good!

I hope no one, but I'm sure everyone

Everyone without plot armor, in other words no main or supporting characters.

I think the named characters are still safe. For Now. But soon, not so safe.

Less people than realistically possible

literally no one because Isayama is a hack

For some reason I feel like Yelena will die soon

Pieck, Niccolo, I don't want it to happen but I feel like Nikolo's gonna go down protecting the Braus family! :(

None of the above

HOW WAS YMIR STRANDED IN THE PATHS REALM AFTER DEATH, BUT NO OTHER ELDIANS SEEM TO BE? 727 Responses

Because she sort of... disassociated there

I think her younger self was "recorded" and so a version of ymir was there ever since she fell down the tree. The tree itself being the physical portal to it or sth like that. No one else fell down that hole...

in order to create the other 8 titans, she gave up her soul and became stranded there.

Because she started it all, she's the only one who touched the whatever it was that gave the titan powers.

I think it's obvious, she was the original slave, the only one that King Fritz's evil targeted specifically. Damning her to an eternity in the hellish isolation only making titans to oppress mankind, because that was his goal.

After she came in contact with what I believe to be the silver branch from Celtic Mythology, her conscious was unknowingly split into two; one in the paths and the other in the physical word. Once Ymir finally died in the physical world, her conscious fuse with the paths conscious and became aware of it.

I think the paths realm takes place inside the mind or dimension of that worm/nidhogg/ancient god parasite and she was brought back to it after she allowed herself to die. The sand Ymir uses to build titans may be her tapping into the reservoir of liquid underneath that giant tree or something.

she's tied to it as a slave and never had the strength on her own to break free

SHE created the PATHS dimension. She is the first titan and has almost unlimited power

A combination of being the bearer of the Centispine and the long years of abuse she went through making her unable to disobey yet another order. Hers is pretty much the most heartbreaking case of learned helplessness. What keeps her obeying the commands of the royals is the fact that she doesn't even realise there is another possibility. Because nobody ever cared enough about her to show her there is one.

Another version of herself was created, when she came in contact with the thing, so that she could create her titan etc..

As the very first Titan, she is the conduit through which PATHS flows. The parasite had now host in the beginning so PATHS couldn't be conveyed until Ymir showed up.

Because with her started everything, i believe her “burden” was to be attached forever

Maybe it's because she's the only one that's physically attached to that weird, interdimensional organism. Maybe it's because her body was dismembered and consumed by 3 different people. Other titan shifters don't get stranded there because their spirits can in some way inhabit the one person who inherits their power. Maybe there is significance to Eren having gotten 3 titans, perhaps one from each lineage: Maria, Rose, and Sina, which now somehow allows Ymir's spirit to leave Paths. He certainly did work hard to get the War Hammer, specifically.

i think paths always existed and have always been there, but there wasnt someone to be in there, because no one discovered that spine under the giant tree. so, i think that ymir's soul somehow connected with the paths at the moment she gained the titan power, and when she died, her soul converted into the "ruler" of the paths

It was always her, she's the special one. There is nothing special about eldians, other than them being biologically related to Ymir. Ymir was always the one with the power, the only one. She was only limited by her slave mentality, if she wanted to, she could've ruled the world forever and she would've been the only one with titan powers. It seems she has given her powers and special function to Eren. That means that Eren alone will be the special one and he will rule the world forever with only him having titan powers.

She held all 9 titan powers, and as the only person in history to do so, she has the ability to view all of the other branches on the tree. Similar to how a shifter might be able to view the memories of a past shifter.... Ymir can view ALL of them, for all time.

The devil needed a host for his dimension

That's her curse. Possibly bound by her loyalty to the King Fuck-Face-Fritz

you know PATHS, i ain't gonna explain that

THERE ARE MANY THEORIES ABOUT THE CENTISPINE'S QUALITIES—WHAT ARE YOURS? 579 Responses

A number of responses here ranging from the hilarious to the creepy; The centispine. A great many of you (We can’t tell if you’re serious or not…) are talking about Aliens, whilst others postulate that the thing results in parasitic possession, ALA Sekiro.

A parasite thingy? Source of organic matter?

A power-bestowing parasite, hence why it needs to be eaten

Alien would be the easiest. But maybe the tree is actually Yggdrasil and its roots pass through other worlds. And the parasite is from another world.

alien/prehistoric being capable of phasing matter through dimensions

Aliens

ALIENS

Bruh its an organic life form/parasite, when bonded to a host ot provides them the titan ability

Don't think it's a biological, probably a mythical being inspired by Norse mythology

Eren will become the human centispine

For me the most plausible is the fact that it resembles a living creature from our world who is supposed to create the whole world 300 millions ago or so

I believe its power weakens the more it divides. The power of each of the 9 current titans is nowhere near that of how powerful Ymir was after she first got the power.

I don't think we'll get any concrete explanation, but it's some creature with fifth-dimensional qualities that unwillingly merged with Ymir. I think the 9 main spines on the bottom on each side doesn't necessarily represent the amount of Titans but how divisible Ymir's power is before it becomes warped (mindless Titans). I also think of some level the idea of the parasite being connected to the Titan power is an inherent correlation that only exists because of Ymir. The idea of power = giant big monster seems like a very childlike concoction, and an antiquated one too. Since we know willpower and manifesting a goal in mind are part of the Power of the Titans I don't think it's too far-fetched that those specific powers came from Ymir herself, and the parasite merely made them possible on her physical plane of existence. This would seem to be at odds with its connection to being giant existing before Ymir made contact with it, due to the giant tree and my inferred connection with it and the giant trees on Paradis, but remember this thing exists outside time itself, it's a frankly unperceivable organism.

I don’t fucking know

WHAT ARE YOU MOST HOPING TO SEE NEXT CHAPTER? 1,383 Responses

Next chapter starts off the the new volume, but what do you want to see in it? 28.1% want to see the full rumbling begin, 23.4% want to see how Eren’s titan transformation turns out, and 15.4% just want to see some action in Shiganshina. For those who want the scene to change, 11.9% want to catch up with Levi and Hange, 8.2% want Annie, 4.4% want Historia, and 4.3% want even more historical info dumps.

ALL OF IT BRING IT ON ISAYAMA

Armin transforming into the colossal titan

Death and suffering

Eren's master plan and more history hopefully

Full rumbling AND Levi and Hange.

i really look forward to see annie but what i really want to see is what is going to happen to the others (pieck, gabi, falco, reiner, etc etc)

Levi/Hange AND Annie. I feel like if Annie is going to ever return to the story, it'll be at a climax of some sort.

The hizuru lady piloting the boat-plane over Shiganshina

Lore, HISTORIA PLEASE I LOVE HER AND WANT TO SEE HER, Levi/Hange, Eren, and the immediate consequences of the Walls crashing down.

What the heck the plan actually is. For all we know, they could be uncovering the wall titans just to send the material that makes up their bodies back to Paths land. An Ymir/Eren hybrid titan could just have them hold still and spend the next years devouring them. We literally know nothing.

Somebody stopping Eren and bringing a sense of honor and morality(preferably Reiner, Armin or Gabi)

The ending Audio might be next chapter

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 1,309 Responses

Reddit continues to dominate the discussion field, comprising 52.4% of this vote alone. Tumblr, Facebook, and Youtube follow far behind, and 4 of you said Snapchat. That’s 0.3% of respondents, which is technically a low enough percentage to make sense, so maybe I should believe you guys, but I don’t.

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE CHAPTER?

My thoughts on Eldia after reading this chapter: "Oh, so Marley really wasn't fabricating history with how ancient barbaric ancient Eldia was, especially with how ancient Eldia treated them. Can't blame Marley for putting that on the history books and using that as part of their propaganda. Considering that and what Marley is doing right now, it just adds to the moral grayness of the story.

Eyes have always told a story in SNK, whether it was the intention of a character (Zeke, Grisha, etc) or their true feelings (Levi). Eyes, and the lack thereof, in Ymir's backstory, told us that THAT was finally the real history. Until now we've always had someone else's warped perspective of history, but now we know how it actually was.

Eren's not JUST a murderer and teenage terrorist, look, he also hugs kids!

Ymir's backstory was a bit disappointing, I expected it to be more grey; Ymir is basically a poor girl who never did anything wrong and King Fritz is the big bad who seems to be the greatest jerk of the story; I don't think this fits with the ""the world is grey"" theme of the story at all, even Gross had at least something interesting to say

Amazing turn of events. Ymir deserves to be released from her enslavement. If the devil has to come out now that his plan is being foiled by Eren, I think Zeke can be a good host for him to incarnate as, justifying Levi killing Zeke as the final main villain of the story.

Definitely one of the best chapters of the overall series.

Annie...oh Annie... God knows how isayama is going to put her back into the plot now!

As much as I want to see Levi and Hange again, I really want to know more about Eren's plans. We still don't have a clear answer, but the part where Eren hugs Ymir makes this my favorite chapter.

Barely feels like the same series, but in a good way.

Brilliant payoff after having the action suddenly halted for multiple chapters. Shit is finally going down.

Eren and Ymir deserve to succeed and completely destroy the world. It’s already been corrupted too much for it to be fixed any other way at this point. This world was crafted by filthy, bloody hands and it’s about damn time for Eren & Ymir to break it down so it can be crafted by cleaner hands.

Eren and Ymir have done nothing wrong ever at all fite me

Eren best dad. I'd rumble a million worlds for him to hub me like that. Yelling right into my ear is just a bonus.

Possibly the greatest chapter. The last 3 chapters together could be the greatest side story in Attack on Titan. Isayama is just...I am at a loss for words. He's just the greatest. He just needs to finish the story on a high note and that's it. Even if he doesn't, this is one of the greatest manga and anime of all time.

People who have unquestioning trust in Eren aren't invited to my birthday party

Honestly, I loved it. It was so well executed and so goddamn interesting. I love how Isayama gives us *almost* all the information we need to piece the whole thing together and leaves just enough for us to have our own speculations. I just hope that they're all resolved at the end though considering there's probably only 4 chapters left at least.

I cannot wait to see the last 5 pages of this chapter animated, easily one of my favorite set of pages from the whole series

I couldn’t have ever thought this was going to be the content of this chapter but I’m so glad it came out the way it did

I cried so much, I love the story

I honestly didn't care much for Ymir's backstory. But hopefully the Rumbling will make things more interesting

I think this chapter might have benefited from being two chapters. There was so much information to absorb in a very short amount of time, I feel like a lot of questions weren't answered that probably never will be now like- why are there 9 human controlled titans? How did the mindless titans factor in? Why did Ymir die from the spear when Eren can have his head shot off? Why did the other slaves turn on Ymir in the first place? Where did she come from originally? Was she captured? Born a slave? There was I think a missed opportunity to develop her character a little more. I get the idea of even the narrator not really caring about what she's experiencing but getting a little more insight into her perspective would have been really interesting.

I read earlier that the closest creature of the devil are human beings .. but humans are more evil .. King Fritz represents the devil .. Thank you Isayama .. In our reality many demons already exist and I have one in my house .. In the corridor

I see a lot of people shitting on Zeke (even comparing him to that asshole king) for ordering Ymir around, but like.... he just heard Eren saying he will end the world (plus remember what Grisha said about Eren memories/intentions), he must be really panicking, so of course he would desperatly shout orders to Ymir and insisting he's of royal blood, that's basically at the moment the only way he could try to stop Eren. And yes, that's not nice to Ymir, but still that doesn't put him on the same level as King Fritz at all.

I thought Gross was the epitome of evil. Then came Fritz. HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT. Don't tell me Ymir doesn't deserve a little payback after 2000 years as a slave.

So Zeke endorses genocide, but not Total World Destruction? Whatevs, man.

Sucks to be Gabi after killing Eren only for this to happen a second later.

I was kinda shocked when Eren, given the shitty way he treated Mikasa in ch 112, started comforting Ymir and telling her she's not a slave. I never realized Mikasa meant that little to him. What a fucking asshole.

I'm glad the question "is Eren going to activate the rumbling as a part of his plan?" was finally answered. I also finally made up my mind about Zeke and I now know I don't like him due to how he acted towards Ymir. I love that we finally learned about Ymir, and that both Marley's and Eldian Restorationists' versions of history were partially correct. I love that the devil was actually King Shitz and Ymir wasn't a goddess but a slave to the devil, but she still helped the Eldians develop and thrive. Also, I love how most of my theories were proven to be true this chapter. Overall I really liked it.

IT CanNoT bE sTopPeD aNymOre

What is interesting to me is that Ymir's legend seems to be the opposite of what women in history usually get: Often great women are forgotten or their agency is reduced only to that of a mother, lover, wife or daughter of some man. Whereas Ymir is remembered even after 2000 years as the Founder and forebear of Eldia, but in reality she didn't do any of those things on her free will. She was just one of the many who were enslaved and used by Eldia, yet she is celebrated by Eldian rebels as a symbol of its former greatness. Heck, even her last name, Fritz, isn't her own, but her abuser's. Chilling and fascinating.

it was fucking amazing. holy hell, i’m in TEARS after reading this latest chapter. it was so beautifully executed and drawn, and the walls crumbling deadass made me cRY OKAY-

It was incredibly tragic but the final portion somehow combined sweetness and epicness

It's been over a week and I'm still reeling. This series gets better every month and I really don't want it to end

Ymir Fritz being presented as she is defied a couple of perceptions we've got from her: the books either implied she made a deal with the devil, or she was a benevolent goddess, when she was neither. Born as a girl from a ravaged tribe, she didn't have any voice, or agency, yet deep down she believed showing kindness was her way to make people happier after the damages of war. She accepted being fingerpointed if the other slaves could keep their eyes, she served the Eldian tribe with her newfound power, fought their wars, bore the king's children and took the final hit for him. Her spirit is then condamned to serve her line for eternity. Truly the most pitiable character of SnK so far.

I found Ymir's story too strange to be attached to her and I was a little disappointed to see that there was basically nothing that had come from her own will. It would have been more interesting in terms of conflict to see if there had been reasons why she had done this, if there was something that prevented her from acting against the Eldians for any reason. But in fact she just let herself be guided by the flow again and again, and I do not feel it's a valid reason to let herself go for more than two thousand years.

Never thought I'd hate a character more than Floch and Sergeant Major Gross, but here we are…

The whole Ymir's backstory moved me a lot because I didn't expect it to be so sad and full of despair. Ymir is definitely the most tragic character in the whole story and one of the most tragic characters in the world of manga/anime. I hope she will finally get some love and will be surrounded by honest and loyal friends. Every tragic character in SnK deserves a hug but I think that she needs it the most.

this chapter's artwork really stood out to me. The way literally no eyes were present in the flashback, even the king's, and the expression of fury and agony on OG Ymir's face when Eren tells her she has a choice. Isayama just keeps getting better and better with his art, and some of his style choices really made me see the individual panels differently.

Predictable and necessary. About this poll and the fandom in general: is amazing how the mayority (or the loudest part) of this sub tends to take things in the most literal way possible while praising Isayama as a genius or something like that, or labeling as "subtle" things that scream "HELLO I'M HERE MY NAME IS BRIAN" at your face, or misread characters in the most extreme way

Ragnarok has started and I don't know if I should be excited or afraid

Read this together with Ch.121. Eren is such a well-developed complex character. You may not like him, but credit must be given to his amazing character building trip. GJ Isayama

IT'S HAPPENING! THIS MANGA MAY END IN LESS THAN A YEAR FROM NOW, AND WITH AN EPIC ENDING IF THE ENDGAME SO FAR IS ANY INDICATION. I DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT THIS, HELP

nothing to add, just amazing job from isayama

#snk spoilers #snk poll #snk polls #poll results #snk 122

99 notes · View notes

theladyofdeath · 5 years ago

Text

V O I D { N I N E }

Chapter 8. An ACOTAR fanfiction.

Nessian. Elriel. Feysand.

Previous chapters: Fanfic Masterlist

“You endure what is unbearable, and you bear it. That is all.” ― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Princess

Nesta was pounding against his door. Any onlookers probably thought she was angry, but anger was one of the only emotions she wasn’t feeling. Unless it was anger at herself.

She pounded against the thick slab of wood once more.

It opened.

Hale stood in the doorway, eyes wide as he beheld her and the arm she was cradling.

“I’m sorry,” Nesta said, quiet and in a rush. “I didn’t know who else to talk to, and if you’re busy, I don’t want to be a burden-”

“Come in,” he said, stepping aside. “Please.”

Nesta did just that. Hale hadn’t exaggerated when he’d talked about how big his house was. It was truly a mansion - his wife’s dream home, he had once told Nesta. And it was lovely.

A grand, spiral staircase traveled up each side of the main room, the white floors completely spotless. Nesta was afraid to move, was afraid to touch anything.

Hale walked along the Persian rug into the next room, Nesta not far behind. She looked at everything as she passed, although there wasn’t much to see in the foyer. Just a line of paintings and a small statue of a man reading a book.

They entered a library and Nesta was in awe. Books lined each wall, some older than them both, some new. Nesta took a seat in a small, black leather loveseat as Hale perched himself in an armchair across from her.

“Want to talk about it?”

She wasn’t sure. She had never been good at talking about her emotions, especially not within the last few years. But when she looked up at Hale, she saw someone who actually cared, who understood.

“I panicked.”

Hale nodded. “About?”

Nesta blew out a breath through her nose. “Life. Everything. All of it. I’m afraid of myself. Afraid of what I can do to myself.”

Hale’s eyes shot to her arm, the arm in which she still held close to her chest. “Are you injured?”

Did you injure yourself? She could hear his silent question.

Nesta shook her head. No, not this time.

“Afraid you’ll find yourself back up at the top of the parking garage?” Hale asked, thoughtfully.

Nesta nodded, eyes weary, shoulders hunched.

“You said you went to a support group last week?” Hale asked, a moment later. After Nesta nodded, he asked, “Did you like it?”

Nesta chuckled, humorlessly. “No. It felt like everyone was tiptoeing around one another. I felt… I don’t know. Like a child.”

Hale smiled, softly. “I used to go to a support group and thought the exact same thing. I wasn’t made of glass, but they acted like I was.”

Nesta sighed. “Exactly.”

They sat in comfortable silence for a moment before Hale asked, “Do you still want help, my dear?”

Nesta nibbled on her bottom lip. “I don’t know. I hate feeling the way I feel, but some days I don’t want help. Some days I feel like I deserve everything I feel.”

“And what is it that you feel?”

Stupid.

Idiot.

Pathetic.

No personality.

Worthless.

“Lost,” she admitted. “Alone. Empty.”

Hale nodded, eyes never leaving Nesta.

“I don’t remember feeling any other way,” Nesta went on, eyes watching her still hands resting on her lap. “I’ve felt this way for so long that I don’t remember how I was before.”

“Some of us feel much more than others do,” Hale said, voice low in the quiet. “And eventually we feel so much that our minds can’t handle anymore, so we feel nothing at all. Then when we feel nothing at all, it’s hard to get back to how we were before. Hard, but not impossible. Never impossible.”

“You made it back,” Nesta said, simply, finally meeting Hale’s gaze. “How?”

Hale took a moment before rising to his feet and searching through the bookshelves, gentle, wrinkled fingers grazing over the bindings. “These shelves are filled with my favorite protagonists. Each one of them faced hell and still survived, thrived. They hit rock bottom, but they overcame it. We live with mental illnesses, and some days will always be harder than others…but, when I was in my darkest, I realized that my story was still being written. I was the protagonist of my own story, and my story was not ending there. So, I kept going. And it was really hard, but I kept telling myself it would get better and then…” he shrugged, turning to face Nesta with a smile. “It did. Slowly, and not smoothly at all, but it did get better.”

Nesta had wanted it to get better for so long, but it almost seemed impossible. She had lived in hell for so long that better seemed impossible to reach.

“How do I get there?” She asked, eyes lined with silver.

“You just keep going,” he said, simply.

But although it sounded simple, they both knew it wasn’t simple at all.

“You are more than welcome to stay here tonight,” Hale said. “You’d have an entire hallway to yourself. Stay here as long as you wish. Sometimes getting away, into a new scene...it helps.”

“I don’t want to intrude-”

“I’ve been alone in this house for ten years, my child. You would not be an intrusion, but a blessing.”

Nesta nodded. A change in scenery didn’t sound all that bad.

~~~~

“Your move.”

Feyre was sitting with Rhysand, chess being played on the kitchen table between them in Cassian and Azriel’s apartment.

“Alright,” Feyre sighed, taking another sip of her orange juice. She moved her pawn, the only piece she was able to move without getting knocked off the board. “Your move.”

He chuckled, falling back against the wooden chair. “As exciting as this is, I’m done playing chess. This is our third game and I’m about to lose my mind.”

“Well, what else do you have in mind?” Feyre asked.

Rhysand grinned mischievously, but Feyre cut him off short. “No. You need to rest.”

“I can kiss-”

“Rest!”

Rhysand groaned. “Fine, but you have to rest with me.”

With a small smile, Feyre helped Rhysand to his feet. His head had been injured the most during the crash, his broken arm was also in bad shape. But, at least his legs were okay. With an arm through his, Feyre led him to the couch where Rhysand plopped down. During the last week, Feyre had been at Rhysand’s side every day since they shared their first kiss. Now, the thought of leaving him alone seemed foreign.

He plopped down on the couch before motioning her to come closer. She did as he asked, pressing her lips to his forehead as she laid next to him.

His strong arm wrapped around her waist. It had been a week of kissing and cuddling, of Feyre taking care of Rhysand. Every time things got hot and heavy, though, Feyre would quickly back off. She didn’t need him breaking something else because she couldn’t keep her hands to herself.

But being in his arms? That was paradise in itself. She felt safe, comfortable, happy.

“I’m gonna have to take you out on a proper date soon.”

“Is that so?” Feyre whispered, huffing a laugh.

“Believe it or not, I’m pretty romantic,” he said into her ear before pressing a kiss to the back of her neck.

“You’re a bit of a kiss-ass,” Feyre mumbled, eyelids fluttering shut.

“Did I just hear you say that you like my ass?” Rhysand crooned.

“Rest,” Feyre laughed. “Doctor’s orders.”

“Girlfriend’s orders?”

Feyre only hesitated for a second. “Is that you asking me to be your girlfriend? It’s the meds talking, isn’t it?”

Rhysand huffed a laugh. “I’d be honored if you were my girlfriend, Feyre, darling.”

Feyre smiled, back still turned to him. “I’ll give you my answer after you rest.”

Rhysand quickly shut his eyes, his arm tightening around her waist. “I’ll wait.”

~~~~

Cassian stared at the sheet of paper lying on his bed.

Feyre and Rhysand had been hanging out in the living room, so Cassian shut himself in his room and did some research. Now that both his mother and father had passed, he needed to know if he had any other family out there. Cece was only sixteen. She deserved someone, so Cassian took it upon himself to find whoever was out there.

And he’d found someone, one other person on the outskirts of Velaris that shared their last name and looked an awful lot like their father.

His address was written on the back of a receipt.

Cassian had been staring at it for nearly half an hour, wondering if he actually wanted to go through with it. If this man was related to them, how come he had never come around before?

It was worth a try.

If not for himself, then for Cecily.

Cassian quickly pushed himself off his bed before he could change his mind.

Fifteen minutes later, after quietly sneaking past a sleeping Feyre and Rhysand, Cassian was sitting at the bus stop. He still couldn’t drive himself, both because of his injuries and the fact that the last time he was behind the wheel it didn’t turn out well.

So, he waited for the bus and once it arrived, he rode it halfway around the city before they came to his stop. He was dropped off along the Sidra where he hobbled with his crutches down the street until he found a taxi.

“Where to?” the driver asked once Cassian plopped into the backseat.

Cassian handed him his old receipt.

The driver lifted a dark brow in the rearview mirror. “Buckle up.”

Cassian did as he was told and the driver took off. He drove Cassian another five minutes down the road before letting him off on the curb outside of a large, gated mansion.

Cassian approached the gate, a bag slung over his shoulder as he hobbled with his crutches.

When he got to the black, iron gate, he looked around. There was no one inside. You would think that with a house so large that there would be people around, tending to the grounds. But Cassian saw no one.

He simply pressed the button on a speaker box and waited.

Without a word, the gates opened, and Cassian went inside. The path to the front door was agonizingly long. By the time he reached the set of double oak doors, Cassian was exhausted. Nonetheless, he knocked. Waited. And knocked again.

Maybe no one was home.

Maybe someone was home and didn’t want to see him.

Maybe he was wasting his time.

Just as Cassian took a step back to leave, the doors opened.

An elderly man stood in the doorway. The moment he saw Cassian, his face paled.

Cassian cleared his throat, hardly able to control his nerves. “Hello. I’m Cassian. Are you Hale Nazari?”

255 notes · View notes

thisbentleyplaysqueen · 5 years ago

Text

The Angel, the Demon, and the Not-so Holy Ghost

Chapter One

Thank you to SuperiorDimwit for helping me by editing this chapter!

Next Chapter

Soho, London, 1881

The sun has just risen over the city, but Aziraphale had never gone to sleep. Rather, he sets down the book he had been rather engrossed in as the sun slips through his dirty windows. With a small sigh, he pushes to his feet and begins his morning routine by putting the kettle on.

Angels needn’t sleep. This was true, and Aziraphale never had seen any reason for sleep. However, he prided himself in a concise morning schedule: put the kettle on, make some bread and jam, enjoy a nice cup of tea while deciding when to open the store for the day- or whether to open at all! He loves the liberty of choice.

A gentle smile graces his face as he considers the loaf of bread, just bought the day previous. He slices the first slice. The butt of the bread is viewed differently among different cultures. Some treasure the first slice, others find it beneath them to eat such a piece. For Aziraphale, he couldn’t bear to throw out even a morsel, no matter the meal. Crowley would always flash him a knowing smile, aware of the angel’s concerns, and would always slide his barely touched dish over. Crowley always seemed to know the perfect time to ‘tempt’ him…

A frown grows and he finds he had long stopped slicing the bread. He sighs, and sets down the knife and allows his hands to unclench. Even as his hands relax, a knot begins in his stomach. He turns away from the bread and intends to cross the kitchen for a deep breath at the window, but freezes at the sight of the book on his countertop. Any previous trace of a smile has long been forgotten as he slowly nears.

The book seems to be his instruction on the birds of Europe. It is still open, and the only sketch on the page is of a duck. Aziraphale cares not to read what type of duck it is as his fingers trace the sketch.

‘Do ducks have ears?’ The voice in his head wonders, in that familiar lilt. ‘Must. How would they talk to other ducks?’

Aziraphale’s lips twitch at the thought, but then immediately disappears at the recognition of the voice and the memory drags its burdens along. He slams the book shut much harder than he intends, but merely huffs as he moves the book off the counter. He turns back to the bread, cutting the second slice with much less grace before turning to the jam.

It has been twenty years since his argument with Crowley, and he hasn’t heard from the demon since. As an angel, he shouldn’t worry, let alone about a demon...but Aziraphale has never been very good at angelic things. He ate, he drank, and he worried about demons who he had refused a means of suicide. At the time, he thought it was wise to not give in to Crowley’s request. Now, he wonders if Crowley even existed anymore, or if he had found his own means...oh, he can’t bear to think of it-

The door opens and slams shut, and Aziraphale jumps. Instantly dragged from his brooding, he stiffens and calls. “We’re closed!”

Now that he thinks about it, the door had been locked…

Catching a breath he didn’t need, he holds it as he creeps around the corner into the shop. This wouldn’t be the first time he’s had to stop his shop from being robbed, he thinks as he gathers his angelic power, but he didn’t think it would ever happen this early. Why it wasn’t even noon yet…

“Aziraphale!” Aziraphale jumps at his name, and whips around, hand poised to defend himself. He freezes, though, as he connects the familiar voice to the face.

“Gabriel?” He lowers his hand, before hurriedly clasping them behind his back as he clears his throat. “I...I wasn’t expecting you.”

Gabriel waves him off. “Just dropping by for a quick word.” He glances around, “I see you’re still attached to this...mortal collection.”

“The bookshop.” Aziraphale clarifies before nodding. “Yes, it helps establish a cover for me and connects me with many humans-”

“That’s great, Aziraphale.” Gabriel interrupts, sitting down in Aziraphale’s favorite chair. The other angel tries not to make a face at that as his superior relaxes into it. “We need to talk.”

“What...what about?” Before Gabriel can answer, the kettle begins to whistle shrilly from the kitchen. Gabriel covers his ears and glares.

“What is that infernal sound?”

“Oh, that’ll be the kettle. I will take care of it.”

Aziraphale bustles off to the kitchen, and hurriedly moves the kettle to a cooler plate on the stove. The kettle quiets, and he reaches up into the cabinet and pulls down two teacups.

“What is that?” Aziraphale nearly drops a teacup as he whips around to find Gabriel in the doorway, nose wrinkled.

“Erm, tea.” He places the tea leaves before pouring the hot water. “Would you like a cup?”

The wrinkle in Gabriel’s nose grows and Aziraphale’s smile fades as he sets the kettle down. “Right.”

“Right.” Gabriel agrees, before clearing his throat and crossing the room. “Now about that business…”

Aziraphale is cornered against the counter as Gabriel towers over him.

“Normally this would be a mission reserved for angels of…” He decides not to finish that sentence, instead giving him a grin and a chuckle that seems forced. “However, seeing as you are the only unassigned Earth agent, this will be your mission. You need to go to Paris.”

“P-Paris?” Aziraphale stutters out, remembering his last experience in France. That time in the bastille was simply awful, he really had been lucky Crowley had been there… His thoughts break off at the demon’s name and at Gabriel’s sharp look.

“Yes, Paris. To one of those human...singing places. The unangelic ones. I believe it has something to do with the word Populaire…”

“The Opera Populaire?” Of course, Aziraphale knew of that! Before the French revolution, Aziraphale had taken quite a liking to the opera, especially in Paris. However, it’s been so long since then… “What about the opera?”

“There have been...rumors.” Gabriel raises his eyebrows at that. “The humans have been letting their imaginations run away with them, it seems. Talking of a spirit terrorizing the place, scaring the humans that are there. I’m sure it’s nothing, just a silly story. However, if there is a spirit, then you must stop them. They do not have permission to remain on Earth and must be dealt with accordingly. Do you understand?”

Aziraphale nods. “Just...how exactly am I supposed to find this spirit?”

Gabriel grins and claps a hard hand against his arm. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out. But get to Paris, and stop that spirit.”

With that, Gabriel snaps and disappears.

“...Right.”

---

The next day, Aziraphale finds himself in a train car, watching the world pass him by as he attempts to read. This train would take him to the Channel, where he could take a ferry across, and then another train to Paris. It was much less convenient than a miracle, but he had no doubt Gabriel would consider it ‘frivolous’, especially when he might have greater needs for miracles on this journey.

Most spirits are content to pass from Earth to the afterlife. After all, they are the souls of humanity, and many have been told of a paradise or of a new life waiting for them. Some got lost on the way, and so angels would be sent to guide them to their judgment, whether it be the paradise of Heaven or the heat of Hell. Those spirits (ghosts, as he learned humans called them) were often apologetic, and pliant the rest of the journey.

However, there were some who had become attached to Earth. Aziraphale couldn’t necessarily blame them, but everyone had their time to take their leave. He dreads the day, but he would go willingly when called. That’s what these spirits don’t understand. They drag their feet, clinging to a belonging treasured from their life that is often in the hands of another human, bringing terror to the new owner. Removing those spirits were nasty business: attachments were destroyed, humans were traumatized, and often that earned the spirit a one-way ticket to Hell. The memories and stories of those spirits send a shiver down his spine as he clutches his long-forgotten book between his hands. He may need every miracle and power in his inventory. Who knows if this spirit has simply lost their way, or has no desire to travel to the afterlife at all?

For the moment, he needs a plan. He needs to sneak into the Opera Populaire himself and see if he can reach out to the spirit, show himself to be a peaceful guide to the afterlife. That will be much harder with humans in the way, and he would rather not force many humans to look the other way. No, that will gather too much attention...

He blinks and suddenly realizes the train has come to a stop. The scent of salt in the air and the muted cry of seagulls turns his attention to see the train station and the docks beyond. His ferry waits for him, and he still has not a single plan. Perhaps he’ll think of something while crossing the Channel.

“This is my stop.” He says to no one but himself, closing his book and slipping it into his carpetbag. He rises and reaches above his head for his suitcase. With a huff, he grips both bags, and shoulders his way out of the compartment. He hears a gasp of air wrenched from his someone’s lungs and a loud BAM. A cane clatters to the floor, and Aziraphale drops his bags in horror.

“Oh, my dear boy, I am so terribly sorry!” Aziraphale fumbles for an apology, and instantly bends to grab the cane. Unfortunately, so does the man, and their foreheads collide. Stars dance in front of Aziraphale’s eyes as he winces, both men clutching their heads. “Oh, how clumsy of me.”

“Satan’s sake! This is the last thing I needed this morning!”

Aziraphale freezes and the man suddenly stops when he finally looks at Aziraphale.

I know that voice…

After a pause, as he prays his eyes aren’t deceiving him, Aziraphale’s gaze travels up, meeting the shaded gaze holding what he knows to be snake-like eyes blown wide, just like his own.

“...Crowley?”

#Good Omens #Good Omens fanwork #Phantom of the Opera AU #Angel Demon and Ghost AU #Aziraphale #Crowley #I hope y'all like this story!#I'm gonna try and update weekly #it'll just depend on how Zoom University is treating their music majors each week lol

10 notes · View notes