#loss of father

[ak-harper-loves-fiction]

"He looks up at the rest of the room. A familiar constriction wraps around his throat. Family portraits stare at him sinisterly. The happiness and togetherness of the past watch him with scorn."

-From Then and Back Again by A.K. Harper

[crmsnmth]

I'm So Sorry for Your Loss

Someday you'll be gone, much longer than you were here And that fact kind of makes me sad Because for all my life, you've been here With offensive smiles and a humor painted so dark it couldn't be seen I wish I could hear just one more joke from you

I miss you in the storms that come right before dusk Swirling clouds that reach down from the sky and I swear I hear you calling me out watch on the porch but this time you'd be there fully And I've got to learn on how to live with that The town whistle blows and I hear your voice in it

They don't tell you how much loss hurts and how grief takes up your very soul as memories and ashes are laid out on a big screen tv Showing pictures from when you were just a kid I can see my face in yours I can see my brother's on yours

Funerals shouldn't be the only reunion of a family In it's own sweet way, death brings everyone together In it's hurt, we cry and smile with each other hugs and handshakes pictures and cupcakes and Sheryl Crow is sining about moldy french toast It has a whole new meaning now

It's sad to know that someday you'll be forgotten it's sad you'll never meet my son it's sad, it's sad, it's sad

Are you doing ok, he asks as I stand away from the party "I'm fine. Just miss him, you know." And he tells me a story my dad used tot tell me and I can't help but smile with a stranger as we talk

This is harder than I thought it would ever be.

[lgbtlunaverse]

Obsessed with characters who portray themselves as worse than they are. Who are lying to everyone including themselves about it. People generally assume if someone's lying about themselves they're trying to look better but sometimes they're trying to look worse. They attribute agency to where they had none, add intent to accidents, try to convince everyone that this is something they did instead of something that happened to them.

[zeldalizzy]

Mulan and Legend!! This one was so much fun! I definitely challenged myself with the background, but my favorite scene from the original Disney cartoon was the scene where Mulan's father sits with her on the stone bench beneath the cherry blossoms and encourages her. So, I kinda wanted to honor that in this one!!

I think that Legend would really respect Mulan; not only is she caring, smart, and kind, but she is also super tough and strong and a brave warrior!! She definitely could hold her own as Hero of Courage. So I think that Legend would really listen to her advice and her words of wisdom.

Sooooo I know the LU fandom loves to torture poor Legend, but I wanted to give him a break here 😂 He deserves it for sure!! Also, the pink flowers would perhaps remind him of... someone else, which would be a bittersweet moment for him.

I imagine that in this scene he kinda opens up to her about his own troubles and she encourages him with her own stories of her trials and successes, and how it all worked out in the end!

Anyways, sorry to ramble! I hope you all like it!! Thanks so much for your support!! Have a wonderful day/night! 🩵

[burr-ell]

What I love about Spy x Family's recent chapters concerning Martha and Henry—two secondary characters with little direct connection to the plot as we've known it—is that Endo's taking the opportunity to once again hammer home what the story's actual stakes are. The idea of potential conflict between Ostania and Westalis isn't just window dressing for a wacky wholesome badass family gimmick—the previous wars are real events that various characters lived through, and all of them are in some way affected by it and have good reasons to want to avoid another one. This is primarily an action-adventure/slice-of-life manga with a lot of sendups to spy movies and pop culture of the 60s, but I think those things hold much more weight with the thematic underpinning of the horrors of war and the ruin it leaves behind.

[ilions-end]

ahh elizabeth vandiver's lectures pointing out a heartbreaking moment in the odyssey i wasn't even aware of:

telemachus addresses eumaeus the swineherd as atta (ἄττα). in my fagles edition it's translated as "old friend", but as vandiver points out, atta has two meanings: it can be used as a familiar-but-respectful form of address to an older man (which is how telemachus uses it), but significantly it's also baby-talk for "father", parallel to papa/dada. it's what telemachus WOULD have called odysseus growing up, but now telemachus refers to him as xenos, a visiting stranger/foreigner.

like imagine. odysseus is in disguise as a beggar, it's the first time he's seen his son since infancy, and one of the first things he hears telemachus say, to another man, is "daddy, who is this stranger?"

[ladycatofwinterfell]

Thoughts on totk so far

1. wtf do you mean that’s ms. zelda’s house, THAT’S MY HOUSE THAT I BOUGHT WITH MY MONEY

2. wtf do you mean sidon is engaged, THAT’S MY GIANT FISH BOY THAT I COURTED THROUGH MY MUTE SWAG AND SAVING HIS SISTER’S SOUL

3. wtf do you mean kass is nowhere to be found, THAT’S MY BARD THAT I GREW ATTACHED TO BECAUSE HE WAS AROUND WHERE THERE WAS NO ONE ELSE AND SERVED ABSOLUTE BANGERS

4. wtf do you mean there’s a yiga hideout on the great plateau, THAT’S MY PLATEAU WHERE I WAS ASLEEP FOR 100 YEARS

[taiturner]

#happy father's day TAISSA & SHAUNA, 2x06 "Qui"

[3-aem]

universal healthcare is not broken and anyone trying to convince you it is is delusional and a dckrider for big health insurance. yes there are wait times but waiting for care is Not the same as being denied care.

in america your physician prescribes care and an insurer can still cuck you out of it because someone across the continent who has never met you can say: doesn’t seem medically necessary. Leaving you to handle a bill that is wildly inflated by the same insurers that just denied you.

let me drill it through your head you can pay thousands a year in premiums and still end up sick and financially burdened for years by One incident. no insurance company is Avoiding going broke by denying claims. theyre doing it to profit off your misfortune and your illness. Because healthcare fundamentally does not cost the amount that they claim it to be.

[coquelicoq]

it's about...longevity? stability? it's about natsume believing he'll be somewhere long enough to plant flowers and see them bloom. it's about him taking touko seriously when she asks him to tell her what flowers he wants to plant. it's about making something with his own hands, building a future with the fujiwaras. it's about him repairing a rundown home for someone else, restoring it because it's beloved to them, because it's the home of someone they love. it's about him seeing touko's joy and thinking about the youkai saying we'd like to look upon her happy face forever. it's about the box garden making him think of the fujiwaras' garden and his parents' garden, about the flowers being both the memory of flowers that bloomed there before, and the flowers that he and the youkai planted earlier that day. it's about him waking up in both worlds with sensei. it's about touko finding the petal in his hair. it's about him feeling how he falls short and the youkai saying, but you have such gentle hands...

[strryhaze]

john ‘jack’ f. kennedy participating in a running gag created by a newly married bobby & ethel kennedy. filmed outside their first home as a married couple. very early 1950s.

pretty sure that it’s ethel who jack bumps into, judging by the short, trimmed hair she sported at the time and the clothes, which means it’s definitely bobby who was filming!

[ak-harper-loves-fiction]

Short Story About Grief

This story is about side characters from the book I'm working on called From Then and Back Again (a psychological thriller about trauma recovery). I wanted to give my less-focused-on characters more depth and spotlight, so here is a short story about their past and the loss of their father (this takes place 5-ish years before the events of the book). Here it is:

Lupe rubs her thumb across the family portrait. Five people, all with smiles on their faces. Who are these people? she asks herself. She stares at the bottom of the bronze-colored frame and reads the inscription out loud: “La Familia Carrillo.” That used to be us, she thinks. 

She focuses on the man standing in the back. “Papá,” she whispers aloud. His brown eyes looked so alive in the picture, yet now they stare blankly. He had the warmest grin, and it had now turned cold. Tears well up in her eyes. Not again, she thinks. She squeezes her eyes shut so tight they hurt, but she still feels wetness on her cheek. She falls to her knees and looks up. “Why God, why?”  

She tries to wipe away the tears, but they keep coming down. Realizing her attempts are futile, Lupe buries her face in her hands and listens to her quiet sobs amidst the silence of the living room. Her knees burn against the carpet, but she ignores it. Then, she jumps at the sound of footsteps. She nearly drops the portrait. The steps then enter the room. She looks up to see her sister, Aurora, walking with their mother exiting the wood-floored hallway. She swiftly puts the photo back on the table where she took it off and turns to them. She offers them a small smile and a wave. 

“Hola, Lupe,” her mother greets softly. Her voice sounds as if she had just stopped crying, her curly brown hair is a disaster, and her eyes are watery. Aurora rubs her mom’s back and stares at the ground. 

“Hola,” Lupe replies. She fixes her eyes on Aurora, who she has not seen cry yet. Her older sister has huge bags underneath her eyes and remains silent. Mamá always relies on her for everything, she notes angrily. 

“I have to start filling out stuff for his wake and funeral,” her mom continues as tears stream down her face. “Aurora, ¿me ayudarás?”

“Sí,” Aurora mumbles and scratches her arm. She turns to Lupe. “Hey, can you check on Izey for me? I haven’t seen him since…” She trails off, and Lupe can see that she wants to cry so badly.

“Sure,” Lupe answers. She watches her mother and sister disappear into the kitchen and she heads down the hallway. The floor is dark wood and creaks under her feet. Along the walls are doors, most of which lead to bedrooms. She walks to her brother’s room and the door is shut. She reaches her fist out to knock, but she hesitates. Something burns inside of her. He’s the reason I didn’t get to say goodbye to Papá. She shakes her head. That wasn’t his fault, she scolds herself. You told him to say goodbye first. She holds back more tears, then knocks on the door. 

When there is no answer, she turns the knob and opens the door. “Isaac?” she asks then gasps when she sees him sitting on his bed. His hair is as disastrous as their mother’s. He looks as tired as Aurora, and he is slightly shaking. “Isaac?” she asks once again.

Isaac gets startled and lifts his head, but focuses back down after making eye contact. He mutters something so subtly that Lupe cannot make out what he said. 

“What did you say?” she questions concernedly and approaches him. 

“I’m sorry,” he responds meekly. His shaking gets more severe. “I should’ve done something.”

She sits on the bed beside him and puts her arm around him. Now her arm shakes with him. “Izey, there was nothing you could’ve done. It was a congenital heart condition.” She blinks back tears. Papá is gone forever. It was inevitable. 

Isaac crosses his arms and looks away. “Then why is Mamá mad at me?”

Because Mamá is always mad, her mind tells her to answer. Lupe looks around her brother’s dull green room, then focuses on the gray rug covering the wooden floor. She feels a chill travel up her spine. The bed was supposed to be warm, but this one is cold. “She isn’t mad at you.”

Instead of responding, he strokes a circular lump in the covers. 

“Is that Bagel?” she lightly laughs. 

Isaac lifts the gray comforter to reveal a small beagle curled up on the bed next to him. “Yeah.” He turns back to her. “He’s sad, too.”

She pulls him into a side hug. “It’s gonna be okay.” She wonders if she is saying that to him or herself. After releasing him, Lupe adds: “You should come to the kitchen with me. Mamá and Aurora are there. It’s better to not be alone. Ya know, take your mind off things. You should probably also have breakfast.”

“I don’t wanna,” he pouts. 

“You have to eat.”

“It’s fine.” Lupe squints at Isaac. At least I can distract myself by dealing with him, she tells herself. “This is unusual…even for you.”

“That’s mean,” he grumbles and he turns his back to her. He fixes his attention to petting Bagel. 

“Okay, I’m sorry,” she relents. “But seriously, why don’t you want to eat? You have to be at least somewhat hungry.”

“I’m not, though.”

“Be honest.”

“I am being honest!” Isaac snaps as he glares back at her. “Leave me alone.”

Lupe puts her hands up in surrender. “Okay, do you want water?”

“I’m good.” He nods for her to leave. 

“Fine,” she sighs. She stands up and heads for the door. “Te amo,” she adds before leaving and shutting the door behind her. You told him to go first, she reminds herself. It’s your fault he was in there when Papá died. She holds her head in her hands and shakes it. She walks back to the kitchen. The kitchen is colored a warm red, but it makes her shiver. The table is covered with funeral papers. What used to seat a family now seats paperwork. Aurora and her mom are seated next to each other. Aurora immediately looks up when she notices Lupe is there.

“How’s he doing?” she questions. Concern fills her voice. She seems to be holding her breath in anticipation. 

Lupe just shakes her head. She then notices the fifth chair at the head of the table. Papá will never sit there again, she thinks. She bites down on her tongue.

Interrupting her thoughts, Aurora begins standing up. “I better go help him-”

Their mom holds out her hand. “Necesitamos terminar.” She gestures to the papers on the table. 

“Right,” Aurora mutters as she sits back down. 

“Don’t worry your sister,” their mother scolds and glares at Lupe. “Isaac will be fine.” She takes a breath to choke back tears. “He is just as strong as his father. He’s the man of the house now.”

“Fine,” Lupe says through gritted teeth. She balls her hands into fists and walks down the hall. She hopes she is stomping. She wishes it would make her mom listen. I hate her so much, she thinks. Isaac is ten. He is not a man. Aurora is fifteen. She is not a therapist. I’m twelve. I’m not a demon. Why does she hate me so much anyway? 

She reaches her room and slams the door. She analyzes the lavender walls and the wooden dressers that her dad used to see when he would come in there. The electric guitar he bought her is placed on its stand in the corner of the room. He fought with her mom over it for weeks before he got it. He won’t ever buy you anything ever again. Her mouth quivers and her eyes build up moisture. She runs to her bed and collapses face-first on it. She weeps into her violet covers, the warmth of them reminds her of her father’s hugs. “I miss you so much, Papá,” she whispers as she holds her hand out, pretending her father is there to hold her hand. “How are you gone?” She lifts her head and sits up, tears still streaming down her face. She allows her legs to dangle off of her bed. She stares up at the ceiling. “I hope you’re in a better place, Papá. Te amo.”

She slaps her forehead. I need a distraction, she tells herself. Isaac. She wipes away her tears and stands up. She takes a deep breath and leaves her room. She gazes down the hall and sees Isaac’s door is open. She also hears Aurora’s voice. Of course. She makes her way to his room and stands in the doorway. She peers inside and sees Aurora sitting next to Isaac and Bagel.

“You can’t stay in here all day,” Aurora informs him while putting her hand on his shoulder. 

He pulls her hand off. “Mamá doesn’t want to talk to me, Aurie. I don’t wanna bother her.” He continues to keep his eyes only on petting Bagel. 

Lupe steps into the room and places herself in the conversation. “She’s right, Izey. You can’t let Mamá get to you like that.”

Aurora gives Lupe a dirty look, then returns to Isaac. “Mamá isn’t trying to get to you. She’s just in a bad way right now, like all of us. She’ll come around eventually. But in the meantime, you need to take care of yourself.”

He does not answer. 

“You can’t keep making excuses for her,” Lupe scoffs and puts her hands on her hips. “Isaac didn’t do a single thing wrong. Don’t act like she’s all innocent.”

Aurora rolls her eyes and facepalms. “I never said he did anything wrong. I said he needs to give Mamá some time to process-”

“Process what? That Papá is dead? The same thing everyone else is processing? You can’t expect everyone to accommodate for her stupi-”

“What’s going on here?” their mom inquires as she steers Lupe out of the doorway. “Aurora, I still need your help. I just had to use the bathroom, remember?”

“Of course,” Aurora responds sweetly with a fake smile. She stands up and walks over to her mother. 

Their mom smiles back. “Puedes esperar en la cocina, amor.”

Aurora nods and leaves for the kitchen. 

Their mother turns to Lupe. “I thought I told you not to trouble her.”

“But-,” Lupe tries to protest. 

“I don’t need to hear an explanation from you. I told you he would be fine.” She gestures towards Isaac who winces and uses one hand to grab his covers. She continues, but never once looks at him. “He can figure things out on his own. What good is a son if he can’t take care of himself? Might as well have had three daughters then.” She storms off back to the kitchen.  

Lupe hears Aurora say something about how their mom should take it easy on them, but she just shuts her eyes tightly. Reopening them, she turns to check on Isaac. He is still petting Bagel, but he is more tense than he was before. “She’s being too hard on you,” she says to him. 

“Doesn’t matter,” he answers and his voice shakes a little. “She never liked me very much anyway.”

“That’s not true. She loves-”

“Lupe,” he starts while lifting his head to look at her with pleading eyes. “Be honest. Are you mad at me, too? Is Aurie mad-”

“No, no!” she refuses to let him finish. A hole is drilled in her stomach. It’s your fault he blames himself. “Izey, Mamá is crazy for blaming you for this.” She kneels on the floor in front of him so they match in height. “This is not your fault. At all.”

“You sure?”

“One hundred percent.” Lupe offers him a smile. Stay strong, she tells herself. 

Isaac does not smile back. Instead, he picks up Bagel and places him on his lap. He hesitates, then finally says: “Thank you.” It comes out more like a question.

“You’re welcome,” she answers sadly and stands up. She goes to leave her brother’s room, but she stops at the entrance. She looks back at her brother and thinks: Oh Papá, please come back. 

[crmsnmth]

See You Later

He didn't wake up expecting the end of his life Nobody ever does Because death is a surprise party with black balloons a five second celebration and it's all over A lifetime gone in a few hitched breaths and clenched hands release

He didn't get into the car preparing for the accident These things happen Death doesn't want an invitation because death likes to crash the party And as quickly as it comes, it's gone again leaving memories and mirrors for those left behind

He lay in that hospital, without the option to speak as we all came to surround his bed We said our words and gave our hugs (see you later, pop) And left the sterility of the hospital and back out into the dirty snow covered world And he was ready And we would never be ready Rested eyes, tireless sleep

And like that, he was gone a last cigarette outside of the hospice and like that, he was gone

And he left us each with memories of a life a life so full, because that's just how we are What good is this, if not for experience? His voice is fading, as each day comes to an end And I wear his ashes around my neck pictures on the wall, from one wedding, a divorce, and some from the elope in Vegas Monuments to someone barely anyone knew but I'll revisit them for the rest of my life

[lyrakanefanatic]

me when i think about jameson believing that no matter what he does to show how invincible and untouchable he is, it will never be enough, and just his self worth issues in general:

me when i think about libby going back to drake time and time again because of how tightly he had her wound around his finger, and how he serenaded her with sweet lies so she could forget about how abusive he really was:

me when grayson hurts himself, and his relationship with others, due to the tremendous amount of guilt weighing down on him every single day:

me when avery has a difficult time trusting people because nobody has ever given her a reason to, and her realizations throughout the series that she will never fit into the society that the will thrust her into:

me when xander casually jokes about how lonely he is, and how he will never be the same as his brothers, so he had to make a “team” for himself:

me when max feels the need to travel across states to be close to her friend for support, when her family disowns her for having a boyfriend, and when she was alone and scared and didn’t want to bombard avery with her problems:

me when rebecca will forever live in her sisters shadows no matter what, and the fact that she can’t be her own person due to it:

me when i think about gigi and savannah growing up and trying to win their dad over by being smart and the “best” versions of themselves, all so that he’ll stop seeing them as the daughters who will never live up to colin, his “true son”:

me when i think about eve being doomed from the beginning, and just how tragically desperate she is due to the environment she was raised in:

me when i think about how nash forced himself to believe that maybe, his mother would finally stick around, even though it wasn’t true, and also just his belief that there was nobody in this world that could actually love him and was right for him:

honorary mention:

me when i think about how lyra must hate her birthday. ☹️.

[euphoriaface]

practicing w my new tablet colored this gravity falls doodle uh I love you adventure time parallels

[phox-129]

The westies r just a group of ppl who were all lonely or lost someone and they came together to make each other less lonely it’s so classic found family trope but it’s so good…..