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#losing my bisexual mind right now
sparkykadachi · 1 year
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NEW WIFE JUST DROPPED!!!
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SHE'S SO CUTE AND SHE LIKES TO TAKE PICTURES OMG I AM LOSING MY SHIT HERE I LOVE HER ALREADY
BUT THAT'S NOT ALL
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SHE HAS SIMILARITIES TO ADAMAN. THE EYES, THE HAIR, SHE'S GOTTA BE A DESCENDANT OF HIM AAAAAAAA I LOVE THEM BOTH SO MUCH AKDKHSKFKDFKFKF
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 1 month
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Trapped in a vicious cycle of pining? Try gay sex! (More things to learn over at Tiger Tiger!)
#tiger tiger#jamis arlesi#remy bonnaire#Arno#through a series of unfortunate events I will be posting this after the update will be out so my timing will be more so:#“Alternate take on how that scene played out” Rather than my funnier “My prediction for how it will go down”#I truly think Remy would rather admit to crimes he didn't commit than confess he has a thing for men.#It would be funny! It would be so funny if this is how Jamis found out. Alas...Not yet...Not yet...#I do love the idea that Jamis completely overlooked the all the elder god horror to get right down to the question of 'HOW DO YOU KNOW HIM'#Remy knows him. Knows him carnally. Wouldn't you like to also know your captain better? In spirit and body and mind?#Jealousy looks good on Jamis. Now he just has to do something about it.#Poor Remy though...He love Jamis so much he'd do anything to prevent losing him.#Which entails never giving Jamis a chance of rejecting or accepting his feelings!#Meanwhile...Jamis is a bisexual disaster man who is at his *limit*.#(For the MDZS fans looking at this Tigers comic who still have no context:#This is like Lan Xichen finding out Jin Guangyao hooked up with Nie Mingjue after LXC spent all that time thinking JGY was straight.#Better yet. This is like WWX just starting to realize his crush on LWJ and then finding out he and JC hooked up in the time skip.#'Nice to know you're into men but why did I have to find out like this' moment.)#((Yes I am trying to bridge the gap between the fandoms I am in. Yes I am still on my propaganda train. Choo Choo!!!))
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alexisnotstraight · 2 months
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i love that when i used to be a woman (before coming out as trans) i used to thirst 24/7 over women and would only thirst a small amount of time over men. but now after coming out i thirst 24/7 about men and rarely thirst over women. its like i was meant to be gay no matter what
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eddiethebrave · 1 month
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secret admirer part six
602 words
one two three four five
Steve is a horrible artist. “I suck.” He slumps in his seat. 
Carol places her paintbrush into the cup of water between them and leans over to see his paper. “...Nooo this is good,” she says, but Steve can clearly see the way her mouth twists as if she’s holding in a laugh. It’s a great show of restraint for her. He’s actually kinda impressed.
Steve pushes her away gently and turns his easel so she can’t see anymore. She cackles. 
Steve huffs and studies his painting. It was supposed to be a dog but looks more like a frankly unsettling misshapen creature. He shivers and paints over the things creepy ass eyes that were previously staring into his soul.  
“Aw. I liked it better before.” 
Steve jumps, dropping his brush - that was loaded with black paint - into his lap. He’s never been happier that their art teacher makes them wear aprons - these are his favorite jeans. He puts the brush in the water cup. 
The voice snickers and Steve finally turns, heart racing. He already knows who it is before he meets the big brown eyes. Eddie has sat to his left since the beginning of this semester (which is also when Steve began to develop this little obsession but who’s counting). 
He didn’t take into account that turning his painting away from Carol would put it right into Eddie’s line of sight. 
Steve raises a brow. “You’re joking, right?”
Eddie grins and drops his chair back to the ground as opposed to balancing on the back two legs. He turns his easel enough that Steve can see his painting. It’s just as, if not more, disturbing than his little dog creature thing. Steve’s not quite sure what it is, but it looks slimy.
“Dude, gross,” Steve says, but he’s smiling. 
That night, Tommy gets into an argument with Carol and calls Steve to complain about it. She wanted to know why all he ever wants to do is hook up and honestly, Steve was kinda wondering the same thing. 
All Tommy wants to talk about these days is them hooking up or asking Steve if he’s hooking up with anyone (don’t be a prude, man, tell me what happened) no matter how many times Steve tells him he’s just focusing on school right now. 
A lie, he’s focused alright, but it sure as hell isn’t on school.
He didn’t tell Tommy any of that, though. Instead, he offered up his house for the weekend. Tommy’s always in a better mood when he has a party to look forward to. The boy had immediately perked up. 
Steve's kinda regretting it the next day, but he made his bed.
Eddie i like seeing you, it makes my day the disappearing act was real cute almost made me lose my damn mind, man, point taken do you got anything good planned for the weekend? i heard there’s a party  maybe i’ll see you there, with your new job and all p.s. have fun at your campaign (i learned what it’s called!)  -H 
Steve slips his sunglasses on during his walk to the cafeteria, and no it’s not just because he wants to stare freely at Eddie - he has a headache. Looking at Eddie is just a perk. 
He’s wearing a white shirt again. Steve has the freedom to look so much that his gaze strays to the other people at Eddie’s table and notices that they’re all wearing matching white shirts with the same print on the front. They printed matching shirts for their nerd club. 
Steve is gonna die.
seven (just realized I forgot to add this link for a whole day😭 sorry y'all)
tag list (closed)
@sofadofax @noodle-shenaniganery @queenie-ofthe-void @friendlyneighborhoodgaycousin @devondespresso
@dreamingtheimpossibe @plutoshelm @jaywhohasthegay @scarlet-malfoy @hotluncheddie
@dreamy-jeans137 @justdrugsformethanks @estrellami-1 @travelingtwentysomething @sleepy-steve
@wheneverfeasible @bisexual-and-broke @lil-gremlin-things @n0-1-important @xxbottlecapx
@tinyplanet95 @dannys-guilt-ridden-cockroach @theohohmoment @corvus-perplexus @hippieg1rl420
@blurryjoji @bookbinderbitch @arthurianace @dragonmama76 @thesuninyaface
@tillystealeaves @p0lybl4nkk @sageclipse @mugloversonly @chameleonhair
@thedragonsaunt @yesdangerpls @sanctumdemunson @slv-333 @loguine-linguine
@resident-gay-bitch @anaibis @moomkin77 @thrashbatx @salchica
@flustratedcas @ajeff855 @nerdyglassescheeseychick @pearynice @imaginary-maggie-waggie
sorry if i missed anyone!!
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thebuttsmcgee · 2 years
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#the butts chronicles#been a while since I updated that tag I think lol#aaaanyways. really rough month so far.#huge problem with the boiler that might be resolved now?#then the constant rain would be okay if not for the before mentioned part of the roof/ceiling coming close to breaking every time it rains#and now some stuff relating to an important person of my past just has me feelinggg. not great ig#not to mention Ive been ghosted for almost 2 months now besides the very unenthused birthday message by someone else#and Ive been nonstop watching the old man's kid for months now#with the only time I was able to use my money was by holding onto my accumulated birthday money#doesn't help that my sister and brother in law had specifically said theyd be leaving sometime early next year and they moved out a couple#days ago without much warning#and now our fridge isnt even working right at all.#and worst yet I got no milk. I haven't drank it in days and good god Ive been losing my mind actually#Im just so tired guys. I need some milk for the love of Goku above#its been weekly arguments with my mother as well for these past weeks and god. its so fucking tiring#I really hope that someday I might be proud of me. Theres only really aspects and things about me I'm proud of.#I really do feel comfortable with being nonbinary and bisexual. It feels fitting. Good and like really me. Not things pushed onto me.#But as it is I'm not sure I'm proud of my person. If that makes sense. Maybe I am getting there tho. It's really a never ending road#but I hope to feel okay with it one day.#I hope others would be proud too. But I know it isn't that likely. So if nothing else hopefully I can truly love myself some day.#god I want cheetos and milk so fuckin bad rn I am this 👌 close to snapping fjehahs#oh god its been a bit since Ive keysmashed too god I miss actually being on here so bad#I MISS MY FRIENDS :''^(#btw if yall are reading this hiii I hope yall r well :^]#gueha. slepy. very tired. drink sprite at 12:30am I will#well whatever the case may be I sincerely hope that this week treats yall well and that tomorrow goes good for yall!#✌️!
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mattstunsgf · 7 months
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i’m gonna lose my fucking mind.
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my bisexual ass is having a heart attack are you fucking kidding me. get this shit off my screen right now before i combust.
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imfinereallyy · 1 year
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“Who was your first kiss?”
“Depends what you mean.” Steve hits the joint Eddie passed to him. They are sitting on the roof of the trailer, stargazing. It is the first clear night of summer. Steve feels lighter than he has in months.
“I'm not really sure if there is another way to ask that, Harrington.” Eddie laughs around the tip of the joint. “It's a pretty simple question. Besides, I thought this was secret time. No need to get shy on me now.” Eddie spins to his side dramatically, tucking his hands beneath his face. He stares at Steve with joy in his eyes.
Steve takes the joint, pulls, and huff smoke into Eddie’s face. A soft laugh escapes him. “Well, I mean, do you mean like the first real kiss? Or, like, when did I start practicing?”
“Practicing?”
“Yea like, figure out how to, and what its like before the real deal? So it doesn't count.”
“I'm sorry—” Eddie scrunches his eyebrows “—I’m confused. Why wouldn't it count?”
“Cause it was with a guy.” Steve shrugs because he doesn't think it's a big deal. He doesn't understand why Eddie is hung up on it.
But then, Eddie's face does this thing for a second. Like he isn't sure whether to be angry or sad, but then it relaxes. Instead, a look of puzzlement takes over his face. “Steve, it counts. Like—even though you're not attracted to guys, that still counts as a first kiss. It’s like—kinda hurtful you think it doesn't.”
Steve tilts his head and goes over what he said in his mind. He can't recall saying anything ridiculous like he does when he is high. “Okay, now I'm confused.”
Eddie stares and says nothing.
“No! Not like confused as in I don't get why your upset, but more like confused who said I was straight?”
In shock Eddie manages, “What now?”
“Never said I was straight. I just meant that if we're talking about first kisses, usually people mean a girl. So the guy doesn't count. Especially because I didn't know I liked guys then. Think even if I was straight this right here—” Steve waves a hand between the two of them “—is pretty homoerotic so I think straight went out the window.”
Eddie swallows, looks down at Steve’s lips, and looks back into his eyes. “There is so much to unpack there. But first, thank you for telling me. Second, Steve. That is like not how it works. Just cause a kiss is practice doesn't mean you didn't kiss. Like just cause you're hitting balls at practice instead of the game, doesn't mean you're not hitting them.”
Something settles in Steve. “Huh, I guess I never thought of it that way.”
Eddie grabs Steve by the shoulders. “I'm glad you understand, but onto more pressing matters. Who was this boy you practiced with?”
“Oh, it was Tommy Hagan.”
Eddie drops his hands in shock. “Hagan?! C’mon Stevie, I thought you had better taste.”
Steve giggles at Eddie’s antics. He can't help but take in how pretty Eddie is when he gets all worked up. It is unfair in Steve’s eyes. How someone can be so wonderful even when they are losing their mind.
Steve can't resist the urge to finally flirt a little. “He wasn't my type Munson. Like I said, just practice. Wasn't really into it. Pretty sure he liked it more than me. I think if I liked him, I would have figured out the whole bisexual thing a lot sooner. No, my type is definitely more in the dark curly hair nerd department.”
Eddie swallows nervously, “Nancy?”
Steve isn't offended by Eddie’s question. Steve knows he's scrambling, can tell by the blush on his face. Steve feels hope spark within his chest. “No, she's great and all, but I was thinking more masculine. With pretty doe eyes, a deep laugh, a kind soul, and horrible taste in music.”
Eddie sputters, and Steve watches his blush spread, “My music is great!”
“Hmmm, sure.”
“Hey Stevie? Do you feel like you need more practice?” Eddie leans in close brushing his nose against Steve’s with a sudden rush of bravery.
“No, i’ve had enough practice. Think I want the real thing.”
“Okay I want to be smooth but I have to google d response to that so I am going to kiss you now.” Eddie rushes out.
“Sounds perfect.” Eddie closes the gap before Steve can say anything else. Eddie tastes like salted chocolate and weed. It's sweet and musky and so very Eddie. It starts soft, the softest kiss Steve’s had, just plush lips pushed against each other.
It slowly builds to more. Steve’s hands travel up Eddie’s sides and into his hair. He wonders how a wild thing could be so, so soft. Steve gives a gentle tug, and Eddie moans deeply into him. Eddie’s hands grab Steve’s waist and yank him forward. His hands are to cause bruises surely, and the thought leaves Steve giddy. The sounds Eddie makes are getting desperate, which causes Steve to release his own moan.
Eddie doesn't waste a second taking advantage and shoving his tongue inside Steve’s mouth. He’s warm and wet, and oh God, Steve wants more, more, more.
After a few minutes, Eddie pulls back. “Wait, who did you really think was your first kiss?”
Steve rests his forehead on Eddie’s. He can't help but think his answer is a little funny. “Carol Perkins.”
“Wait, wasn't she dating Tommy?”
“Oh yeah. He was there actually. Kinda encouraged it to happen.”
Eddie looks torn between laughing and being disgusted. “Again, so much to unpack, but I don't think I want to touch that with a ten-foot pole. At least not tonight. Can we go back to making out?”
“Yes please.” Steve all but begs, a while releasing into the space between them.
They don't pull apart until their lips are swollen and their throats are raw from moaning. It’s Steve’s best first kiss yet.
---
originally this was more angsty and going to be more reflective on my personally experience of the very popular thought of “if my first kiss is with a girl it doesn't count” that I see a lot of bisexuals like myself (and other sexually fluid people...honestly an experience the whole LGBTQ+ community has) have. Like having that realization made me re-evaluate myself. But it ended up being more light hearted and using another experience of mine which is being out but refusing to count the first kiss because of who it was with. Steve and I...we have regrets. I still might write the other one, we shall see :)
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maxphilippa · 4 months
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Redesigned my Mic (Post S2) design! Some facts about her:
- She's bisexual, transfem, demiromantic and polyam.
- Matching necklaces with Knife, Pickle and Mephone4. The keychain on her tail is also from Mephone4. The belt she has (the one with the Spoiled Lemon accesory) is from Trophy!
- She's an harpy eagle hybrid, and is starting to get back to flying again! (she stopped doing so due to how many feathers she lost while working w/Taco due to stress).
- She gained weight as she started to recover.
- Her wings and feathers can change color depending on her mental state, and they can fall if she's constantly stressed/struggling mentally. At the start of s2 her wings were bright and loud, but they became red and black while she was working with Taco, and after she left Taco, her wings were completely gray. Right now they gained their color again.
- Cut her hair off after eliminating herself (Trophy helped her), and it grew back pretty quick. She takes care of it a lot now, and dyes it every now and then.
- Is doing so so much better now that Taco isn't in her life and doesn't miss her one bit.
-Is friends with everyone in the Hotel, and is also OJ's assistant (more so helps him not lose his mind with the tasks).
- Slowly getting back to using accesories and being comfortable w/herself.
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mic tags: @moonsprout-sys @norazingrid @tdutb (i know you saw her already but still!
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ashprompts · 5 months
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𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐄 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒
a collection of sentence starters from dropout tv's game changer. feel free to alter pronouns/text as you see fit
“I’ve been here THE WHOLE TIME”
“It’s hard to hold this much anger in my body.” 
“If you never hear from me again, you know what to do!.”
“If they don’t find me it’s because I was chopped up and fed to the pigs!”
“I SOLVED YOUR LABYRINTH, PUZZLEMASTER. THE MINOTAUR’S ESCAPED, AND YOU’RE GONNA GET THE HORNS, BUDDY”
“I. CANNOT. WIN!!!!”
“A lot of people have been saying that ___ is a singularly evil, wildly incompetent, befuddled nepo baby silver spoon motherfucker. This is what people are saying.” 
“If you can do ONE swing on the swing I will let you play with all the math puzzles that you want” 
“You’re not getting a FUCKING JOKE OUT OF ME until you let me out of this room! You want bits?! You let me out of this room for bits, motherfucker!”
“Are we gonna die before we get outta here?” 
“I’m gonna lose so fucking hard it’s gonna blow your fucking mind”
“But in this sick rodeo, this bizarre fucked up clown festival, we’re here celebrating what I can only describe as the sickness at the core of America.” 
“Give me the assignment and I don’t miss. I’m gonna DIE before this is over.”
“Your tower’s gonna fall. Laugh it up now.” 
“A river of sweat is running down my back right now.”
“I do hate zombies and I will have nightmares about this tonight. But in this moment I just feel like I’m surrounded by friends.” 
“We don’t give a cum.”
“If you’re in a hole, DYING. I WON’T BE THERE.”
“I showed them my feet, [name]! I SHOWED THEM MY FEET FOR NOTHING?”
“Stop shaking your cock in the middle of a fucking huddle, dude!”
“I’d fuck that pie.”
“If you’re like me, you eat a lot of ass.”
“I hate capitalism but I also hate losing.”
“I get my tongue so far up somebody it’s like I’m tasting their tonsils. I get so deep in there I’m gonna burn myself with stomach acid.”
“I like perching like a little bisexual gargoyle”
“If you were performing on a subway I would take money away from you.”
“I’VE ONLY JUST BEGUN TO PULL THE THREAD ON THIS SWEATER.”
“Icarus flying too close to the sun, but it seems Daedalus our little mastercrafter over here had some WAX WINGS OF HIS OWN, didn’t he? Wanted to see his son fall, faaaalll from the sky, OH HOW CLOSE TO THE SUN HE FLEW”
“Hey can I get an ah? … Don’t scream at me.” 
“You kinda have the vibe that your kids call you by your first name.”
“The day I DON’T curse when a body falls from the sky, call somebody.”
“Could I place an order? I’m hungie. What do you think would be the best pizza to order if I’m quite hungie? Um, I like cheese, what is your largest pizza? Yeah let’s get an extra large because I’m hungie. I’m hungie, I’m hungie, I’m hungie.” 
“WE ARE NOT ANIMALS!!!”
“So long as I am on this stage and drawing breath, you can good and goddamn believe I’ll be trying my best in every challenge.”
“Was it bad that we just started smashing shit?” 
“You didn't count on INGENUITY did you motherfucker?!”
“FIGHT THE BOURGEOISIE. I WILL VENMO YOU $20.” 
“This could be hell. This is very Satre-esque.”
“YOU ARE NOT GOD. THE MACHINE IS GOD.”
“Can you tell us why you’d do this to us?”
“I won’t be made a fool”
“I do feel like I’m in a nightmare”
“I’m the only one OUT of the loop it seems”
“Everybody do the wenis! The wenis is a dance! Everybody is a genius! Who knows it in advance!” 
"DANCE IS A SIN!"
"You think I'm gonna fucking roll over?!"
"It'll be a COLD DAY IN HELL when I go out like a fucking chump!"
"I don't care about winning, I just don't wanna lose"
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yunhoszn · 6 months
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(this is user sourkimchi pls don’t perceive me on main lmao)
i saw another user post this abt this hongjoong fit and it’s been living in my head rent free…
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as a fellow asian rave bisexual.. i need a fic for this concept 🫣
(not so) alcohol-free
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PAIRING kim hongjoong x f!reader
WORD COUNT 3.46k
GENRES fluff?﹒smut
WARNINGS 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, mature language, clubbing scene, reader feels self conscious, mentions of alcohol, strangers to lovers?, ummmmm hardly any plot tbh half of the wc is porn, couch sex, little bit of foreplay (vaginal fingering), some marking here and there i think, cowgirl position, missionary, protected sex, allusions to multiple rounds of unprotected sex, not beta’d or proofread bc we rawdog this shit like men
SUMMARY notorious for canceling plans at the last minute, you finally let your friends drag you out for a night at the club. however, a chance encounter with the prettiest man you’ve ever seen has the night turning to something unexpected.
MORE AAAAAAND i finally finished my first request LOLLLLL here u go yves!! i kinda strayed away from the main idea bc i wanted to make it my own, but i hope this meets ur expectations <3
@atzhouse
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You had a natural affinity for canceling plans at the last minute. You’re not sure why, especially because you always get an awful case of FOMO every time you do. It’s your own fault that you feel left out when your friends get together without you.
No matter how far in advance you plan for the event, you somehow still find a way to lose your motivation to go. You haven’t properly hung out with your friend group in months, so when they start talking about clubbing tonight, you immediately say yes. 
At first, you think you’ll change your mind an hour later, since it’s only an afternoon’s notice. But when you realize your friends will be here to pick you up in thirty minutes and you’re finishing your makeup, you nearly jump for joy. You successfully stuck it out for once. 
Even as you’re sandwiched between Wooyoung and Mingi in the backseat, San in the drivers’ seat and his girlfriend in the passenger, you’re still shocked that this is your reality. You’re actually dolled up and you’re actually on your way to a club right now. 
“Y/N, do you remember the signal if someone hits on me?”
“Wooyoung, no one’s hitting on you.”
“Shut the fuck up, Mingi. It could happen.”
You snort, pulling your skirt down a little. “Woo, we should come up with a signal for if I get hit on.”
“Yeah, Y/N’s more likely to get laid than you are even though she’s bitchless, too.” Mingi nods, adjusting his sunglasses. (You have no idea why he’s wearing sunglasses at 10 PM.)
“Kill your—”
“We’re here!” San announces, effectively putting a pin in any argument that was about to begin. As long as your friendship with the males spanned, he’s always been the mediator. You’ve known the three of them dating all the way back to high school, lumped in the same homeroom your freshman year. The four of you sat in the same general vicinity and got grouped together for a project once and you’ve been inseparable ever since. 
You know you look hot, Wooyoung wolf-whistling at you the moment you started walking towards the car, but you still feel a bit insecure. It probably has everything to do with the fact that you don’t go out much and you’re self-conscious as is. Stepping into the crowded club, a scene that could only be compared to a sardine can, has you shrinking in on yourself. 
Instinctively, you tug on the hem of your skirt to attempt to cover your ass a little more. Then you wrap your arms around your midriff, though your cleavage leaves pretty much nothing to the imagination. You swallow thickly as your trail behind your friends, like a lost puppy with its tail between its legs. 
This is why you always back out of plans. You feel so out of place, like you don’t fit in even when people try to include you. It feels like everyone’s staring at you, waiting for one wrong move so they can point and laugh like you were the butt of some sort of weird joke. You’re ready to go home. 
“Are you okay?” Mingi asks once you’ve settled at an empty high table just a few feet from the dance floor. Through his stupid sunglasses, you can make out the concern on his features. 
“Yeah, I think so,” your lips purse, arms hugging yourself tighter. “I just haven’t been out in so long. I feel… like I shouldn’t be here or something. I’ll be fine. I hope.”
He raises an eyebrow at you, but doesn’t ask any more questions, instead turning to San and his girlfriend who were about to make a trip to the bar. Your poison for the night is simple, a plain margarita that’ll ease your nerves more than anything else. You weren’t much of a beer person, often opting for fruitier, sweeter drinks in comparison to your male counterparts. (When you do go out with them, that is.)
Wooyoung and Mingi fall into a heated discussion about who knows what, leaving you to become a third wheel while you wait for the couple to come back with your drinks. You people-watch to pass the time, chewing on the inside of your lip, your eyes flitting around the club like some kind of guilty criminal. Almost immediately, they land on a guy in the middle of the dance floor. 
He’s hypnotizing, body fluidly moving to the song the DJ’s playing and matching the energy of his friend standing next to him, two girls in front of and facing them. His dark hair falls into his eyes slightly, though parted and styled damn near perfectly. He’s dressed in a black tweed jacket, a white button up left open enough to reveal a couple necklaces resting on his sternum, some ripped jeans, and black boots. But none of that is what caught your attention. 
You’re entranced by his smile, its brightness and how fucking pretty he looks wearing it. You caught the tail-end of something his friend said that made him laugh, and you feel yourself being pulled in deeper and deeper without a single conversation with him. Too bad he seems unavailable. 
“Woah, N/N, might wanna wipe your chin,” Wooyoung teases, a stupid smirk on his face that you want to punch away. “I think you’re drooling a little.”
Mingi howls with laughter, falling onto the table to support himself. He clutches at his stomach as it cramps up from how hard he’s laughing. It wasn’t even that funny. You roll your eyes. 
“Shut up, Wooyo.” 
“Who are you even staring at?” He inquires, resting his elbows on the high top surface, his chin placed on his hands. He blinks at you expectantly, like he’s not letting you off the hook. You avoid his gaze, simultaneously ensuring that you don’t look in the attractive stranger’s general direction either. This all felt so elementary. 
“None of your business.” You murmur, ducking your head. Thankfully, San and his girlfriend return to the table with your drinks perfectly timed, and the topic is dropped completely. 
The first sip of your margarita is damn near heavenly, the alcohol flowing through your system smoothly and calming that storm waging in your mind. It’s not too strong, just enough that another couple drinks would inebriate you entirely. It aids with the anxiety of being in such a packed space, but that feeling of not belonging still sits inside your chest. 
You can’t help but look for the stranger again, who’s no longer on the dance floor. Now he’s on the other side of the club at another high table. His friend is still with him, but the girls from before are nowhere to be found. You focus on his hands and the chunky rings on his fingers, the way he holds his beer bottle, the way his free hand runs through his hair. Your tongue twirls around the straw in your glass out of habit, enthralled by this man who has yet to give you the time of day. 
Except when you glance up to admire his face, you discover that he’s already looking back at you. He’s nodding along to his friend’s words, but his eyes are zeroed in on you, a different kind of smile playing on his lips. Your features fall slightly from being caught red handed, cheeks warming up significantly. You aren’t sure what’s more embarrassing, caught gawking at a stranger by your own friend or by the stranger himself. Truly, the universe was out to get you. 
You down the rest of your margarita and excuse yourself to go to the restroom, needing a second to gather your bearings. Your skin is flushed and you have to hold your cheeks between your palms as you psych yourself up in the mirror. Why should you feel ashamed of thinking someone’s hot? You were only human. Besides, you looked good, too. 
When you exit the restroom, you’re shocked to see the stranger walking out of the men’s restroom at the same time. Your eyes are wide and your body freezes. He gives you that smile from before, ruffling his hair as if this interaction wasn’t difficult enough. 
“I was hoping I’d bump into you,” he says, unabashedly drinking in your figure. “It’s not everyday someone as gorgeous as you crosses my path.”
So he’s a flirt. Noted. 
“I could say the same,” you manage to get out, though your palms are already clamming up. “If fleeting glances across a dance floor count as crossing paths.”
He laughs and you swear it’s the best sound you’ve ever heard. A couple girls come into the hallway, and you maneuver so they can go into the women’s restroom. His hand comes to rest on your lower back when your balance wavers slightly. 
“I’m Hongjoong, by the way,” he introduces himself since he’s in such close proximity to you now. “Can I buy you a drink?”
“Yeah, sure,” you nod, too distracted by how much prettier he is only inches away from you. “I’d like that.”
Hongjoong leads you to the bar, a gentle hand wrapped around your wrist so he doesn’t lose you in the crowd. He orders himself a beer and turns to you to ask what you’re having. While waiting for the bartender to whip up your drinks, he strikes up a conversation. 
“Are you gonna tell me your name?” 
You scratch the back of your neck sheepishly. “Oh yeah, sorry… It’s Y/N.”
He repeats it, like he’s testing out the taste in his mouth. The smile that graces his features afterwards says all you need to know. It has butterflies flapping around rampantly in the pit of your stomach, nearly knocking the wind out of you. He thanks the bartender seconds later when he slides your margarita and his beer bottle across the bar. 
“So, Y/N, what brings you out tonight?” He takes a swig from his bottle, one arm leaning onto the surface of the bar. God, the things you would do to him if given the chance…
“Catching up with my friends,” you answer honestly, baby-sipping your margarita through the straw. “I don’t really go out much, because I’m really bad when it comes to canceling plans at the last minute.”
“Should I consider myself lucky then?” Hongjoong quirks a brow, licking his lower lip. If men had anything, it was the audacity. And this man had the audacity to do everything in his power to lure you in with his good looks and charisma. 
“I’ll have you know that this is a one of a kind, once in a lifetime opportunity,” you play along, stirring the slowly-melting ice cubes around your glass. “You’re a very fortunate man.”
“Yeah?” He laughs again and you think you might faint right here and now. He looks off to the other side of the club and then back at you. “I think Prince Charming over there is looking for you.”
He points at the table where your friends are, and you find that Wooyoung is glancing around in search of something, or someone. Namely you. It’s most likely because you went to the restroom and then never returned. He’ll live. 
“Wooyoung? Nah, he’s just being a good friend. I raised him right,” you turn back to him, sipping at your drink leisurely. “Now where were we? Something about you being lucky?”
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“Hwa, I’ll— shit— I’ll have to call you back,” Hongjoong forces out, promptly hanging up so he can focus on putting you in your place. You’re like a damn leech, lips attached to his neck, marking the supple skin like it was your job. Your hands paw at the button of his jeans, your lower half grinding down on his lap. “So fucking impatient. Can’t even wait until I’m off the phone?”
“Want you too bad, Joong,” you pout, slowly undoing the buttons of his shirt, his jacket lost somewhere near the front door. He groans when the nickname falls from your mouth. You had no idea how sexy you were.
The two of you were so insatiable, you couldn’t even make it to the bedroom, collapsing on his couch. You hardly had the mind to message your friends to let them know your whereabouts. His hands hold your ass firmly, halting you from any further teasing. You whine, pushing his shirt off of his shoulders. Your nails drag down his toned abdomen, enjoying the way it tenses beneath your touch. After all he’s put you through tonight, you think you at least deserve a bit of payback. Just a bit. 
“Are you too antsy to make it through foreplay?” He coos and presses a quick kiss to your lips, trailing a few along your jawline. Your eyes flutter shut with a hum and a nod. It was true. If he didn’t fuck you soon, you feared you might go insane. 
“I need you inside me already,” you whine, trying to spread your legs and create more friction downstairs. He chuckles at how desperate you are, how touch starved you must be considering you don’t get out much. It fuels his pride knowing he’s the only one to see you like this, to have you like this, for the first time in who knows how long. If he’s successful, maybe he’ll be the only one ever. 
Hongjoong bunches your skirt around your waist, sneaking a hand between your bodies to rub tight, gentle circles into your clothed clit. A blissful sigh escapes you, your forehead dropping to his shoulder. The cocky smile you’ve grown to adore over the course of the night decorates his lips at how quickly he has you falling apart at his fingertips. 
His middle and ring digits push your underwear to the side, sliding down your slit to prod at your entrance. He nips at the base of your throat, working his way up to the spot behind your ear. Your sighs grow into whimpers, squirming around on his lap when he applies pressure to your cunt with the pad of his middle finger. 
“You’re so wet, sweetheart,” he mutters into your skin, shivers running down your spine from the low register he uses. He circles his digit around your hole, not quite giving you what you need. “You weren’t kidding about how bad you wanted me.”
You’re about to quip back, but then he’s inserting a finger and rubbing your clit with his thumb. You gasp, biting down on his collarbone to ground yourself. As much as you would love to sit here and let him finger you until sunrise, you have bigger priorities. “Mmm, Joong, please… Fuck me, please…”
He kisses his teeth, tongue darting out to wet his bottom lip. He supposes he can satiate your hunger, though he really wanted to take his time with you. “Do you think you can be still while I put the condom on?”
You pull back and nod enthusiastically, sitting on your haunches slightly, fingers locked behind his neck. “I’ll be so good, I promise. I just need you, like, now.”
All he can do is laugh, and you melt into a puddle in his arms. You’ve concluded that smile of his would quite honestly be the death of you. He removes his fingers from your pussy, instead squeezing your hip before helping you onto the couch cushion beside him. You rest on your knees as he unbuttons his jeans and kicks them off, swiftly grabbing his wallet out of his pocket and plucking a condom from it. In the same breath, he’s taking off his underwear and tugging you back on top of him. 
He places the foil packet between his teeth so he can quickly aid you in the discarding of your panties. Now that your cunt is bare, you can feel the heat of his cock and it’s so hypnotic. Your eyes can barely stay open as you watch him tear open the condom packet and roll it on. He’s the perfect thickness and the perfect length, and you feel so special straddling his lap right now. 
Hongjoong kisses you softly, gripping your waist so he can guide you to sit on his cock. The first breach of your entrance has a shaky exhale leaving your lips against his own. You stay like that for a second so you can adjust to the feel of him inside of you, the fullness in your lower half, and overall just how fucking good it feels. He grins when you slowly start bouncing up and down, his dick thrusting in and out under you. 
“How are you doing, sweetheart?” He pecks your cheek, moving downward and reaching behind your back to untie your halter top. It slips off of you with ease, revealing your tits to him. 
“So good, Joong… Feels so good,” you arch into him, whining and moaning every time he brushes that crook in your cunt that has you seeing stars. He peppers kisses all over your chest and sternum, scraping his teeth along the skin of your breast. You whimper, nails sinking into his back and your toes curling. You’re completely aware of what’s going on, but those two margaritas have to be contributing to the pleasure swirling in your abdomen. 
“Yeah? You’re taking me so fucking well,” His eyebrows knit together when you switch your pace, sitting on him fully and letting his cock fill you for a couple seconds. In reality, your knees were starting to ache and get tired, something he recognizes instantly because he was so attentive. 
His hand holds the small of your back and he flips you so you’re in missionary on the couch now without skipping a beat. The change in position allows for a change in angle, his dick dragging against your velvety walls deliciously. Your sounds grow in volume, scratching his back when he pushes one of your knees to your chest. 
You weren’t anticipating to end up here at the end of the night, but you don’t think you could dare complain. While a majority of this night felt like a fever dream, you feel a high that’s never taken over you before. 
Hongjoong’s hair falls into his eyes as he glances down at where your bodies meet, his cock disappearing inside of you and then sliding out with ease. You intertwine your fingers behind his head, pulling him down so you can connect your lips in a fervent, passionate kiss. That familiar summit is within view now, your hand nudging his own to your clit so you can inch closer towards it. 
His thumb swipes side to side on the sensitive bundle of nerves, never once breaking your kiss. There’s so much stimulation going on for you, you’re starting to feel dizzy. In a good way. He’s gentle in a way that’s still rough enough to knock the daylights out of you and the juxtaposition makes the moment all the more enjoyable. 
“‘M so close, Joong,” you arch off the sofa in an attempt to be closer to him, to sandwich yourself between him and the couch. 
His thrusts become faster and more calculated, but he doesn’t break the focus on your clit. His efforts come to fruition and he mumbles words of encouragement for you as you finally reach that boiling point. A strangled moan falls from your mouth and you spread your legs to suck him in further. 
The uncontrollable fluttering of your walls following your climax is almost too much for him and he has to pull out. Your eyes are half lidded, nimble fingers rolling off the condom. He fucks his fist until he’s painting the area between your tits with his cum.
The two of you don’t move right away, regaining your composure. He leans down to kiss you sweetly, and then repeats the action all over your face until you’re a giggly mess. This is probably the best sex you’ve ever had in your life, and part of you doesn’t want to go home— whether that be later or tomorrow morning. 
“Do you have the energy to go again, or should I go grab a warm washcloth to clean you up?” He raises an eyebrow at you, indicating that he’s just joking but he’s totally down if you are. You laugh, running your fingers through his hair. 
“If you give me a minute, I’m all set to do that again,” you start, resting your eyes for a second. “You don’t have to worry about a condom this time. I kinda wanna feel you raw.”
Hongjoong laughs in disbelief, glancing away from you and then letting his forehead fall onto your shoulder. “What have I gotten myself into…”
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© yunhoszn. do not steal, claim, or repost. 
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sexy-sapphic-sorcerer · 6 months
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1: Magic is a Metaphor < 2: Morgana is a Lesbian < 3: Merlin is Gay < 4: Arthur is Bi
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Do you remember when you were bullied in middle school? Because if you're reading this, I think it's fair to assume that you were. And your parents would say to you, 'that boy is just being mean to you because he likes you'. That's what this is.
Arthur is just so repressed. He has really bad daddy issues, and he doesn't know how to express his emotions, and he's really uncomfortable with physical intimacy, especially with other men, especially with Merlin. And this isn't me trying to psychoanalyse away his heterosexuality. It is a very evident part of his character.
And another big part of his character is that he has inherited all of these bigoted ideas about magic from his father that he has to work to overcome. Because, of course, Arthur himself is born of magic, but his dad is so ashamed of it that he hides the true circumstances of his birth from Arthur. Honestly, I don't know exactly how that would fit into this whole metaphor. I do have a half-formed theory that it could be interpreted as an allegory for intersex identity, I know that a lot of people headcanon Arthur as trans, so idk there could be something there. But regardless, it is only through his relationship with Merlin that he is able to overcome this magicphobia, because he realises: how could it be wrong when everything about Merlin is so right. And I just feel like there's a metaphor in there somewhere.
Of course, I have to mention this iconic quote from the audio commentary of the final episode: when the executive producer refers to Arthur taking off his royal seal to give back to Guinevere as passing over "the last vestige of his heterosexu- oh sorry, I mean his marriage." So, they knew exactly what they were doing.
I also thought I would just draw your attention to the fact that at one point Arthur says, "I only care about my men, they're more than friends, more than brothers." Now, I think we can all agree that out of context, that is a very gay thing to say, and yet somehow the context is even gayer, because Arthur is pretending to be talking about the Knights of the Round Table, but he's actually talking about Merlin, how Merlin is the only person he cares about, more than a friend. And then Merlin responds, "I understand. I wish I didn't, but I do." It's barely subtext at that point. This of course, brings me to my final argument:
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Arthur risked his life to save Merlin at least eight times. It could be more than that, I genuinely lost count. And you have to keep in mind that Arthur is the King of Camelot and he doesn't have any heirs. It is quite important that he stays alive. And yet anytime that Merlin is in the slightest bit of danger, he will just drop everything to protect him.
And it's really only in those moments where he's faced with the thought of losing Merlin that he shows him genuine emotion. Such as in this scene (which was cut out of 4x02 purely because it was too gay) where Arthur is planning to sacrifice himself to protect Merlin, again, and he gives Merlin his mother's sigil, the only thing he has left of his dead mum and he wants Merlin to have it as something to remember him by. Also, apparently in medieval times giving someone your family crest was basically a marriage proposal, so that's pretty gay.
You know what else is pretty gay? Telepathically communicating with Merlin and then immediately leaving Gwen in the middle of an active war. This is literally the last time that Arthur and Gwen ever see each other. Poor Gwen.
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In conclusion, Merlin is the story of gay sorcerers and bisexual knights getting into love triangles. Everyone in this show is queer and you cannot tell me otherwise.
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pastel-peach-writes · 1 month
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Attracted | KorrAsami x Reader
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╰┈➤ PLOT: After a close call of losing the two girls who mean the most to you, you decide it's time to cut the crap and face the music, your feelings.
╰┈➤ WARNINGS: Not Proofread, No Use of Y/N, 3500+ Words
Part One | Part Three
⍣ ೋ Enjoy!⍣ ೋ
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Their stares dug into your soul and pulled out every sense of hiding and masking you've held in for the last few years. Their slight frowns, and disappointment in their colored eyes; it was too much for you to bear.
Were you so prideful in keeping your feelings secret that you'd risk losing Korra and Asami? Was it really that serious to let them think you didn't support their relationship?
You didn't know. You had no way to know.
Now the three of you were staring at each other in the courtyard of Air Temple Island. All parties eager for an answer from you.
However, just because they were eager to get an answer from you doesn't mean you had an answer ready for them.
Just now, in this very moment, you realized you had a crush on the two bisexuals. You just realized that going to bed thinking about kissing the both of them, holding their hands, and making them laugh wasn't as platonic as you thought.
You hated to admit it but Bolin was right. You hated when he was right, especially since you're often so stubborn. He was never going to let you live this down now.
But that's something to worry about in the future. Right now you needed to worry about the present. Korra and Asami are staring at you with hurt and almost distant eyes. The longer you let the silencer linger, the deeper you hurt them.
What could you even say or do in this moment? Make up some silly lie? Confess to them right on the spot? Make them think you're not accepting of their love? All three options were terrible. It was a lose-lose-lose situation.
"Uh," you nervously chuckled, scratching the back of your neck. The bright sun on Air Temple island shone into your eyes, nearly blinding you from the sight of the red-and-blue-coded girlfriends. You wondered what color you would be if you were added to the pair. "You know, I think I need to attend one of Tenzin's meditation classes. Learn how to ease up and become one with my chi."
"One with your chi?" Asami echoed.
"Yeah. If I'm so tense all the time and not noticing, obviously something is off. Maybe even wrong with me." You gave them another shrug. "I can't be one of the best members on the Krew and not be one with my chi."
Korra let out a chuckle. "'One of the best members'?" You nodded at her statement, a cocky smile growing on your lips. Korra shook her head, her smile from her chuckle staying on her face as she crossed her arms. "Who said you were one of the best?"
"Oh, isn't it obvious, Avatar?" You mimicked her stance and Asami did the same, matching the teasing smiles on your faces.
"Must not have been," Korra rebutted. "Sounds like you still got some work to do."
You could only laugh at her playful words. Although her statement was true, it was for the wrong situation. You did have some work to do. You had to work through and process your growing crushes on Asami and Korra in hopes you can get over them and have them never find out about your crush.
That should be easy. What's a little crush going to do to you?
-
"You're right," Tenzin said as he waved his palms over your torso. You were serious about taking meditation classes from him. You were too tense, hyper-focused on the sapphic pair. You needed mental clarity and hopefully with mental clarity comes a way to get over them.
The Airbender was using reiki, some form of spiritual healing that used energy and intention to ease the human mind and body. He decided to use the technique on you when you came to him about your stress problem. He said he rarely used this technique but given that you're a new student of his, he decided why not?
The man had his eyes closed and waved his arms and body around as if he were airbending. The only difference is that he wasn't airbending at all and in fact was getting a feel of your stress and anxiety levels. "You are very tense," he continued. "The tension lies within your shoulders and sits in your gut. Your chest, too, is tight. If you were an Airbender, you'd be blocked from your ability entirely. It would take months, maybe even years to remove this type of stress."
You heaved a sigh as the monk opened his eyes and returned to his natural standing stance. "Months"? "Maybe even years"? By the time you mastered your chi or removed most of the stress in your body, Korra and Asami could very well be married. Or even worse, forgotten about you.
It was extreme to think of those two scenarios but it's what your mind went to. You're doing this to be better for them, not to risk losing your friendship. If it's going to take years to return to the person you were before you started having feelings for them, they were gone for good.
"Well," you said as another sigh escaped your body. "We better get started."
-
Because of your circumstance, Tenzin decided to add airbender training to your "Stress Relief Regimen". Like he mentioned, you would be blocked if you were an Airbender but in addition to the spiritual and worldly connection, Airbenders also have a physical outlet. They use their body to navigate through the winds and courses of life. It acts as another way to release whatever your body is holding in.
It's been a few weeks since you started training with Tenzin and you can admit things are a lot better now. Well, physically. You're still blocked mentally and spiritually, but the airbending training traditions were getting easier for you. You ran into the equipment less and stayed on the balls of your feet more often. Even Jinora was impressed.
You practiced day and night while leaving space to meditate and to connect with nature in between. But the cause of your vigorous schedule to train and relax, you've pulled yourself away from the Krew. You rarely hung out with them outside of work and only said hello to them during meals. Day in and day out, you were training.
It was ironic though. You were training and practicing these techniques to become one with your emotions and get clarity on the KorrAsasmi situation but all the training seemed to be doing was making you avoid them.
You were actively running away and towards your emotions at the same time. How you mastered that skill, not even Tenzin knew.
He watched you prance and elegantly move around the spinning panels on the Airbending arena with your eyes closed and your arms in the offensive position he taught you. While you were physically correct, he could still feel a weight of heaviness and emotion rest on your shoulders and sink into your body.
Korra saw it too. That's why she was here standing next to Tenzin and monitoring your training. She knew Tenzin to be a good teacher so she didn't understand why his training kept you away from the Krew so long.
She already went through that teenage rebellion phase with him so she figured he eased up on allowing you to go out and such. Especially since you're not under his care and a grown adult. And as she watched your practice, she knew Tenzin's methods had changed for the better and the pressure lessened. So, if it wasn't Tenzin keeping you away from her. What was?
When practice was over, there was a meditation session immediately after. It wasn't a one-on-one session like you usually had with Tenzin, but actually an open session for the new Airbenders and anyone who wants to learn more about the art. In fact, it was taught by Jinora. Tenzin wasn't a part of it at all.
Korra assumed you kept your schedule busy with not only Tenzin's agenda but the other Airbenders too. To her it made sense. You're pretty much training to be an Airbender just without the bending. So to her surprise when she walked into the class and saw you weren't there, something was up.
-
"And you're sure they weren't there?" Asami asked as she unmade the bed for the night. She and Korra were in their room, the midnight moon shone through the window and provided natural light for the girls. Korra, just slipping on her white tank, nodded.
"Yup. Now we know Tenzin isn't keeping them away from us. I think it's them who wants to stay away from us." Korra's feet shuffled across the wooden floor, her tush melting into the mattress after she plopped.
"Come on." Asami frowned. "They're not like that. I'm sure it's something else." The paler woman sat beside Korra and placed a well-manicured hand on her shoulder. Korra only sighed again with her head hung low. "They haven't even spoke to Mako and Bolin and they're like brothers to them."
Korra shrugged. What Asami was saying made sense but there was something deeper going on. There was something you weren't telling them and Korra was killing herself trying to find out. "Does it not bother you either?" Korra's sad blue eyes struck Asami's green. "Don't you miss them? Their laugh and how they used to look at us with those eyes? Like we were the world to them. Now we barely get a glance when we pass each other in the halls or in the street."
Asami sighed. Of course, she did. She missed all of it and how you used to compliment them or poke fun. She missed watching you interact with Mako and Bolin and playing with them like they were your blood kin. She missed so much and more. She only placed a kiss on Korra's cheek and moved some hair behind the Avatar's ear. "Come on. Let's get to bed." -
"Good, now breathe while you lift your leg. Your opposite arm follows." You followed Tenzin's notes, lifting your leg and doing a fan kick while your opposite arm follows. When your arm follows, the momentum carried you throughout the move and when your leg landed on the ground, you spun around and nearly womble to the floor.
"Good," Tenzin said walking through the plush grass. "When you use that move, your weight shifts between your standing leg and then the led that lands on the ground. Because of your arm and force of the air, you spin around and when mastered, it's a great move to switch the play on your opponent." Tenzin then cleared his throat, the tops of his ears going red. "You know. If you airbent."
You gave him a slight chuckle. Almost four months into training and Tenzin still forgets you're not an Airbender sometimes.
"Sorry, force of habit." You waved him off and repeated the move, still stumbling when your lifted leg hits the ground. Tenzin instructed ways to land and poses to land into but no matter the note or correction, you continued to wobble.
"Ugh, I don't get it. I'm doing everything right. I'm making sure I'm light on my toes and transferring my weight between my legs," you complained to Tenzin as you took a swig of water.
The Airbending master interlaced his fingers and held them near his diaphragm. "Well, are you emotionally light? Spirtually, mentally?" You nodded as you wipe excess water from the corner of your mouth.
"Yeah. I mean, I think so? I mediate in the morning, evenings, and join some classes at the other Air Temple. I don't know what I'm doing wrong." You walked over to the cemented benches which were really short walls of concrete painted beige. You took a seat, crossing your legs and placing your heels at the edge of the wall.
"Hm," pondered Tenzin as he followed you to the wall. While he can admit your dedication is impressive, he can't help but feel there's something else blocking you, stopping you from achieving your greatest.
It was similar to what he experienced when training with Korra or his failed attempts at connecting to the spirit world but heavier. Almost as if you were avoiding the emotions that kept you planted deep into the ground. If you were an Earthbender, he predicted you would be one of the best.
"Tell me, young one. Is it possible there's something else bothering you? Perhaps problems with family, friends, work even?" He took a seat by you as you contemplated your answer to him.
You've felt good. The feeling of jealousy or even anxiety changed to what some would call a rock. It was as if a flat rock sheet lay on your chest and stomach. Some had a heart of gold and steel, yours wore stone armor.
You gave him a shrug and sipped your water out of avoidance. Your lack of eye contact, expression, and words told Tenzin everything he needed to know.
You were stuck emotionally and he had a hunch it was about the Avatar and her girlfriend. And perhaps the fact that they weren't your girlfriends. Tenzin wouldn't have come to that conclusion if it wasn't for his older sister, Kya.
One day, Kya came to visit and Tenzin told her all about your training and dedication to the craft despite not being an Airbender. When Kya observed your practicing, she could tell immediately you were struck with something emotionally tolling. Something you took Airbending techniques to work through but ended up avoiding.
She did the same thing with Waterbending when it came to a crush of hers.
Also, Kya overheard the Krew express concern and longing for you. More specifically, she saw the faces of Asami and Korra and how their eyebrows knitted together in hurt and confusion. It was the same face she wore when she found out Lin liked Tenzin.
"You need to talk to them," Tenzin spoke. "Avoidance or whatever you call this dance of yours isn't going to better your ability to meditate or to perform such exercises. In fact, it'll stifle your chances and ruin whatever you have left of your friendships." With a deep sigh, Tenzin put a hand on your shoulder. "Take this from someone who focused so hard on training that he almost lost his family. Isolation is not the key to working through hard emotions. You have to work and realize it's not going to be easy."
When your eyes met Tenzin's, you could see his brows downturned as if he was frowning with them. His eyes glossy yet held this certain look in his eye, as if he saw you as his own. His family.
The look stirred a certain guilt in your stomach. It was the same guilt you felt when you watched the Krew interact while you purposely lingered in the shadows. In hopes of bettering yourself, you ended up self-sabotaging.
"Hey!" Bolin chirped as he strode over to you and Tenzin. You quickly blinked away tears and looked at him with a smile, responding with a greeting. "We're going out to dinner tonight. You coming?"
-
Dinner was nearly normal. The five of you, the Krew and yourself, went to this fancy-ish restaurant where they served everything from Water Tribe food to Fire Nation goods. They also included the more modern dishes that Republic City had to offer.
It was like nothing had changed when you first ate. Everyone was chipper, happily munching on their meals, and cracking jokes like no time had passed between your group.
But then, just as you were almost done with your meal, the mood switched. A metaphorical cloud full of darkness and heavy rain washed over your booth and wind dared to blow you away from your seat.
Korra sighed, putting down her eating utensil and putting her hands on the table in an interlaced fist. "Okay, we have something we need to talk to you about." You barely looked at her to continue. "You've been kinda distant lately and we know it's not because of your training. Tenzin was adamant in easing the intensity of his training schedule, especially now with the new addition to the family and the new Airbenders."
You shrugged for what felt like the fiftieth time today. "I'm taking my craft really seriously. Is that a crime?"
"No," Asami said in a calmer tone that Korra could've given the sass you had in your sentence. "But it worries us. Especially now that you're not even attending Avatar duties anymore. We're a group and we need you. We're empty without you."
You threatened to scoff but instead shoved down the urge with another bite of your food. "I don't know what you want from me."
"Your training was supposed to help you ease up and not be as stressed but it looks like it's doing the opposite," Mako spoke. "You're distant, eat meals alone, and I've never seen someone train so hard for Airbending when you're not even an Airbender."
"Okay, so what? Look, it's my training, my schedule. You guys don't have a clue of what's going on with me so just drop it. Okay?"
Bolin glanced around his table of friends. Nervously picking at his pants, his eyes landed on you and gazed into your eyes. With a tone soft and gentle, he spoke. "So, something is going on."
You sat up a little straighter, eyes on the brown wooden table in front of you. You didn't realize you said that out loud. All that work of being alone and trying not to talk about your feelings nearly came undone with one measly slip-up. "No. Drop it."
"No, we don't want to drop it. What's going on? We can help you." Asami reached a hand out to you but you just snatched your hand away.
The Earthbender at the table sunk down in his seat. He knew what was going on now. He doesn't know why he forgot the last genuine conversation you had just a few months ago.
Your crush on Korra and Asami were eating you alive. What was supposed to be an outlet became a distraction. A distraction from the possibility of hurt, rejection, and loss. If he remembered this earlier, he wouldn't have suggested this confrontation dinner.
The only person who could help you in this situation is yourself and Bolin could see you didn't want that. Not anymore at least. You were perfectly fine losing your friends if it meant the protection of your relationship and feelings.
Although, it's a bit counteractive letting your friends slip away just to avoid a blowup over emotions you couldn't control. Bolin wasn't going to let that slide.
The Krew's been in messy romance drama before. What's a little more? They've prevailed over three times and they could do it again.
"I'm sorry," you took money from your pants and placed enough to cover your meal on the table, "but you can't help me with this. I'm sorry."
Following your departure, Bolin followed you out of the restaurant. Your friends exclaimed and called out for the both of you, but you were too far to hear and well Bolin, he was on a mission.
You stumbled behind yourself as Bolin took hold of your wrist and snatched you back. Your eyes met his, the orange-yellow lighting of the restaurant shining through the windows and making the sidewalk glow.
"You don't have to do this," Bolin spoke in a whisper. "You don't have to hide and pretend you're something you're not just to avoid rejection."
You pull your wrist out of his grip, your brows knitted defensively. "I don't know what you're talking about. I'm not avoiding anything."
"Please, I've seen it multiple times before. I lived it. The crushes you have on Korra and Asami won't change anything. They won't be weirded out or throw you out of the friendship if that's what you're worried about." The green in Bolin's eyes sought out to comfort you. As before, he kept his voice gentle and nurturing. "Crushes are scary and can leave you vulnerable but you shouldn't avoid your feelings because of it. You'll end up holding things in, the hurt turning into resentment, and the resentment turning into hate."
The Earthbender's palm found its place on top of your shoulder. Like his eyes, voice, and now touch, Bolin comforted you. His words, though similar to Tenzin's, had more meaning. You've seen Bolin get rejected before and heard horrific stories but he never let the embarrassment get to him. He learned, grew, and eventually got the partner of his dreams.
You patted his hand. "That means a lot. I'll try, okay? I can't promise it's going to be a good try, but I'll try and face my feelings instead of avoiding them and letting them turn into something ugly."
Bolin smiled, the joyous expression reaching his eyes. "Good. You won't regret it and you'll always have me to lean on. Don't forget that." Before you could say anything else, he pulled you in for a bear hug and lifted you off the ground.
Maybe Bolin was right. Facing your feelings head-on would make them less scary and who knows, maybe Korra and Asami would get a confession out of it.
To Be Continued. (Last part coming soon!) | Part One
WC: 3,569
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suzukiblu · 10 months
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Five headcanons from the obligatory sugar daddy Tim/sugar baby Kon AU for Plot Bunny, which may or may not all make it into the actual fic itself. Headcanons are slightly leaned towards Kon’s powers because Plot Bunny was specifically interested in my headcanons for those in this AU, but also including Tim being a useless bisexual.
Kon brags constantly about the things his TTK does that are either Superman-esque abilities or that he thinks are either impressive or flashy enough to pass for impressive. He does not think to brag about things like “technically I have a 360-degree field of perception”, because he’s like “well it only works if nothing’s flying or hovering and it’s not like vision, so it’s just whatever” as opposed to being like “most things/people cannot fly or hover and it also accounts for things like people hiding behind cover, so actually it’s real fucking useful, isn’t it”. Frequently he just doesn’t think to mention little utility-specific uses of his powers at all, in fact. No, this acid isn’t touching him, he can be acidproof if he wants. No, he can’t actually choke on anything. Yeah, he can set bones and relocate dislocations on himself and others without needing an X-ray or an MRI involved. Sure, he could just stop somebody’s heart, but why would he?? 
Tim has gotten out of the habit of a lot of his hobbies in favor of Robin-ing. Robbies. He has Robbies now, not hobbies. It’s not like he never picks up a camera or a skateboard or a video game anymore, just . . . well . . . like, not never, that’s all. He’s pretty sure he touched his skateboard last week? When he . . . moved it to the other corner while he was cleaning his room . . . uh. Well. Still counts, right?? 
Kon has much better fine motor control over his TTK than he usually bothers to demonstrate in the field because he actually spends a lot of his time bored and understimulated in a lab environment, so he just fucks around with it to entertain himself. For him, it’s an extension of his sense of touch, which makes him incredibly tactile as a person. But he also thinks it might be a little weird how tactile he is compared to other people, so he is much likelier to be petting the soft silky thing with his TTK than his actual, oh, I don’t know, hands? Because people don’t even notice when it’s his TTK, obviously, but they definitely notice when he's doing it with his hands. He actually does a lot of little things with his TTK that people don’t usually pick up on, because it’s just things like adjusting crooked frames and plucking lint off people’s clothes and fixing their hair or tucking their shirt tags into their collars and picking inconvenient locks, and if Tim knew Kon could do that kind of thing so subtly and easily, he would immediately lose his ever-loving mind about it. And also teach him how to pick pockets and crack safes, probably. Kon, obliviously, does not realize just how fucking useful those little things could actually be in hero-ing, because to him they're just normal little tricks he can just do whenever, not anything special or impressive. And like, why would he pick the lock when he could just punch the door down? Superman would punch the door down, right? And punching the door down looks cooler! So obviously he's gonna do that! 
Tim accidentally developed his initial crush on Kon via constant exposure through stupid teen magazine posters. He will swear on his life it started when they first met and fought supervillains together, but no, it was definitely that Kon was hot in those stupid cheesy posters that Tim kept running into while he did research on the new kid in the superhero community. Also he read so many of those lame tabloid interviews. Just . . . so, so many. Ugh. And he actually does keep up on Kon's Twitter and probably his Insta too. 
Kon absolutely accidentally holds himself back from his full potential as a superhero without really realizing it because he thinks “what would Superman do?” while mostly knowing Superman through hearsay, information uploads from biased sources, and what few facets of his personality Clark is actually willing to show him. So he has a very skewed image of him, obviously, and is trying to grow up and be a person Clark isn't and no one really could be. But Kon identifies himself as Superboy because he doesn’t have anything else he knows how to be, and Superboy came from Superman, so he concentrates less on certain aspects of his powers and more on the Kryptonian-imitating ones. Again: he could just unlock the door, but Superman would punch it, right? Right??
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deluweil · 4 months
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Thanks for your response to that other anon about Tommy; you’re totally right. I also was intrigued, even liked him and Buck after their first kiss. But his closet comment and behavior on their first date, like he didn’t care that Buck has LITERALLY just figured out his bisexuality and that’s A LOT to process, his dismissive attitude towards Buck’s ideas and feelings (the bachelor party henley, the “enjoy it while it lasts” at the medal ceremony)….and then add in the way some fans have gone 0 to 100 on them so quickly, even calling them endgame, and likely at least in part JUST because it’s two men…it’s become such a turn off. I was neutral, even wanted to like them at first, but now am counting the days until it ends. And it’s not because I’m a BoB or would dislike any Buck LI that isn’t Eddie. And I don’t agree with anyone getting HATE (we can sideeye and judge people’s actions ($cameos$) But I think seeing Buck in a canon male/male relationship has caused some people to lose their damn minds. Ship and let ship! Stay in your sandbox, we’ll stay in ours!
LOL I am so removed from all the crowing bummies that I have to ask wth is BoB?
I actually went to look it up and found some interesting options, I am going with this one:
"Bob" is a generic and common name, and using it can be a way of avoiding formalities or creating a relaxed and approachable atmosphere
If you have the other meaning go ahead and tell me, like bummies I understand what benefits me in the moment😂
I kinda wish ppl will look up the meaning of "comphet" (I actually looked it up) that Ryan keeps bringing up in his interviews - that way ppl can stop saying crap things about him being the one to derail Eddie-T because he was supposedly against it. - Which is bullshit, Tim repeatedly said it was because the Natalia actress couldn't come back and M actress could. - Also, Originally T was supposed to be Lucy, she just couldn't come back so they took Lou in a pinch, so Obviously the endgame sure as shit wasn't the pilot.
And you're right, T's attitude was condescending at best, I was talking about it with a mutual the other day, and said that if they really had an interest to build BT properly, also by the time they came up with BT they knew they were being renewed for S8, they could have slowed into this. Actually make Buck's coming out story, a coming out story, not "So first date was a bust, how bout you come to my sister's wedding?" like who does that?
They could have started as friends with Lou being a gay guru, they could have had private dates until Buck was actually out to everyone and ready to be seen in public.
There could have been feelings involved that developed over time.
I gave the example of Tim-Ashley vs Nolan-Bailey from The Rookie, while Ashley was fairly kept to the background (btw she got more screen time than T, just saying) while Bailey was constantly and still being weaved into the story, intricated into Nolan's life, because he was meant to end up with her.
What ppl, who seem to have never watched good tv in their lives, don't seem to understand is that there is a way to write a story, and 911 not only screwed up spectacularly with Buck and Eddie's storylines, but they managed to make it clear from the get go that any LI to come along would be written just bad enough for it to be clear that they are not lasting.
Even furious, Eddie never walked away from Buck. Even when Buck was an asshole in 2x01, Eddie stood his ground and insisted they sort it through making it clear that they are on the same side, that he cares about him and wanting to be his friend. - His partner, a team.
Tommy, like all his predecessors, walked away as soon as something didn't fit his little comfort zone. Tommy walked away on that first date, he didn't contact Buck after that, Buck had to make contact and apologize for not being comfortable on his first date with a guy, like how messed up is that?
And Tommy's little acid retort in front of Eddie in the restaurant before that? From the side it's hilarious for someone who was never in that position. It was mean and uncalled for, but not exactly a surprise because T was never much of am understanding person, he was pretty much an ass from the get go in S2, only difference now is that he is out of the closet.
How did Athena put it when Michael first brought his new bf home after they got divorced? "If Michael had cheated on me with a woman, no one would have expected me to slap on a fake smile and welcome her into my home."
And that is exactly what the GA expects us to do, so what if Buck injured Eddie for attention? He's bi now.
So what if T was an ass and pretty much dismissive towards Buck and talks to him often in a bored way like one talks to a child? He's gay now.
A certain sexual preference does not excuse bad behavior. A person's behavior is supposed to be taken at face value, and not excused just because that person is now seeing someone who happens to be of the same gender.
Crappy behavior is just that - crappy behavior - equal accountability and all that.
I actually liked Taylor for Buck in S2, I think Lucy could have been perfect for him in S5, but the writers made sure to smear their characters in the eyes of the GA from the beginning, thus ending up with another failed relationship, while Buck's relationship with Eddie thrives from one episode to another for the last 7 seasons. One has to wonder about that even if they don't ship buddie.
Same pattern here with T. I was prepared to like him with Buck, I was prepared to see Buck making his way out of the closet with someone who would make him feel safe to do it, not kiss him unprepared under the pretense of coming originally on Eddie's behalf. Not that crap show that was that restaurant date. Not Buck apologizing after feeling insecure and exposed in public for the first time out of the closet and so many other things. - I'm getting the same vibes as Taylor looking through her phone in disinterest in 4x11 as Buck recites some google fact.
And you're right, the fans going from 0-200 after one kiss was just ridiculous, like chill people have you never seen two men kiss before?
I have, on screen and in RL, I grew up with lovely lgbtq+ friends from childhood, it's not all that. When my gay best friend dated someone who didn't treat him right, I told him to get rid of him. When my cousin's gf treated her like property and like she owes her something I urged her to find a better more nurturing person to be happy with.
Two men kissing is not endgame making, hell, from experience two men having sex (hot as it is) is not endgame making.
Love, passion, trust, security, fun, friends gatherings where they're cute and gross, can be made into a healthy endgame making relationship.
Buck and Tommy have physical attraction, they make for a steamy picture but nothing else.
And Lou, I am just... I don't know, I would have preferred not to find out the things he's done as cast of 911, I am just so disappointed.
I loved Lou, now it's just meh. Like he's trying to make as much money as he can before he finishes his way in the show is all kinds of wrong. Also very misleading to the ppl who are hanging on his every word. (And I don't think Oliver likes it either, he is pointedly ignoring any scene with T, not promoting anything that doesn't involve Eddie and Christopher or Buck's own development).
Even Ryan didn't know he was going to get shot until he got the 4x13 script, he was sure he was being killed off until he talked to whoever was showrunner at the time lol.
So Lou can't know he just talks out of his ass and make himself look bad in the process.
And I agree, ppl should be free to ship whoever they desire, but they are not entitled to force their desires upon others, I'm talking about both sides of the ships not just one. (Although I gotta say I've never got hate asks until a certain ship popped up this season. A lot of hateful - now blocked anons - that I refused to give stage to.)
These toxic battles are useless and made this season worse than it's writing.
All that's left is kick back and hope this season's last episode can salvage the poor and repetitive storylines we got this season, - I mean even Henren and Bathena got a replay of S4.
And don't even get me started of the fart shaped storyline Eddie got after switching last minute.
I'm tired lol
didn't mean for this to become this long monster, If you made it this far thank you, sending LOTS of love. ❤️
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killcodesashes · 3 months
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[QUICK RANT ABOUT QUEER REPRESENTATION IN TSAMS/TSBS SHOWS]
[As a genderfluid aroace person myself.]
TSAMS
Uh. I don't like it. Aroace Moon? Cool. Absolutely valid, we love him for that. Wasn't adressed much except in a few episodes which are pretty good, I liked the one where he rejects Foxy a lot!
But recently- g e e z. I understand wanting to bait people in with ships people want! Specifically KidsCove. Same in tmgafs! But the problem is that they do it not just to tease/mess around with the viewers in good fun, they genuinely seem to hate the shippers and actually want to make fun of them? Not just with kidscove but with any other ship that isn't canon. They don't even want to confirm Sun's sexuality, just constantly making it a gag that he has a bisexual flag in his room. Which as a queer person? It's just annoying. Just really annoying ? Please all we want is a confirmation or something? We want queer characters we can actually relate to. And we don't really get that :( Then New Moon came along and said it was possible he wasn't aroace. . . And then they never mentioned it again. So why mention it in the first place ? I don't think I would've minded it if he had just changed how much attraction he felt but was STILL aroace/on the aroace spectrum. As long as it was actually clarified. But they seemed eager to rush to his evil era so they didn't bother to close to any lose ends before hand, though I guess being aroace might've just not been as relevant.
On a bit of a side note- Ruin feels very gay coded. Very gay. There is no way he's straight T.T he's a villain but he's a zesty man and we absolutely adore him for that!!
That was probably an accident, though. Every theatre kid seems gay! /lhj
Just overall upsets me that the VAs seem to act offended by the mere idea of shipping characters? As if that's not a common/vital part of every fandom.
[OTHER SHOWS UNDER THE CUT]
TMGAFS
Upsets me that they can't clarify Puppets identity or pronouns? [Or maybe they have recently but I genuinely doubt it]
Because who are they meant to actually represent ?? It's probably just me but I wish it was more clear or something. I appreciate the VA for trying I do though, absolutely love that guy[Foxy’s VA, genuinely seems to just be a chill guy. And I think it's really cool that he actually does roles that could come off very cringe, voicing most of the cringe dimension characters +struggling with Puppets voice for the longest time.] I just wanna know if Puppet is a trans fem queen or trans masc slay or just trans ? But nothing seems to be clarified.
Again with KidsCove? Genuinely just annoying how they blatantly just do it to make fun of the people who ship them and get views from them.
Foxy seemed to have been gay before his memory loss. Or was at the very least interested in men to an extent. But since he began to be the main character of a show he suddenly only likes women?? S u s. They really keep insisting he's extremely straight and genuinely just annoys me that they erased him being interested in men [Proved he liked men in the episode he asked Moon out.]
. . .now. . . M o n t y. As a genderfluid person? I hate them and literally feel more represented and seen by cis characters from other shows. For the longest time Monty being genderfluid wasn't even adressed and was usually just brought up for plot reasons or something? And it pissed me of that every time they correct a character on Monty's pronouns.. they immediately go back to using he/him pronouns. I think the new fem body is pretty neat! Though I think it would've been more interesting for Monty to stay masc but ACTUALLY get their right pronouns used and their identity getting genuinely respected DESPITE of their appearance. But the body? It's genuinely completely fine! /gen I used to hate my body too and understand that the writers might've thought it might be easier for people if they just used a different body completely! But it annoys me that my gender representation comes in the form of M o n t y. The annoying character known for constantly hating on others and partially destroying their lives. Anyone can be genderfluid, yes. But when the representation is so little? I just wish it was at least a bit better or with a less hateable character.
TLAES
Lunar! Uh. Again can we just get clarification on his sexuality? Is he polyamorous? Bisexual? Omnisexual? Just any clarification please?
Gemini! I wish they were canon nonbinary. They're literally stars. Why did they have to be gendereddd. Also curious about their 'sexuality'? Will also likely never get clarification on it :/
OTHER SHOWS/SIDE NOTES
Roxanne is canon lesbian and so is Glamrock Chica! I'm so sorry but I forgot his name T~T I think it was Tiger Rock[??] Is also canonically gay! Glam Chica has a girlfriend! And I do think their relationship is pretty cute [from what I've seen] and overall wish I would finally get to watching the show a bit more! Funtime Foxy feels very queer to me? Not just because his design is pink but his overall characterization! He does have a girlfriend! But he seems to be comfortable in his own identity and presentation from what I've seen? At least, it seems to be more comfortable than some o t h e r characters. I feel more represented by Funtime Foxy and Lolbit than I ever felt represented by Monty. But that is a personal opinion!
I overall have just lost interest in all of the shows. I'm tired of being constantly disappointed and lead on. But I do wish I could watch more of the other shows since they seem to show more love and care towards their characters :)
CLOSING THOUGHTS!
It's just shows. Does any of this really matter? I think it matters when the shows are claiming to have good representation when they really don't. And they're allowing people who aren't queer/a part of the LGBTQIA+ community to feel like they have the right to shut real queer people down. I've seen so much acephobia and overall homophobia even in this community. A l o t in this community. I wish the writers would listen to ACTUAL QUEER PEOPLE!! I wish the VIEWERS listened to ACTUAL QUEER PEOPLE.
That's what I really want. I just want to be heard and represented.
I don't claim this community. I CAN'T claim a community who is constantly against us.
LISTEN TO QUEER VOICES.
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romana-after-dark · 1 month
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Rooms on Fire: Sundown
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Dark!Santiago Garcia x Fem!Reader
Dark!Francisco Morales x Fem!Reader
Dark!William Miller x Fem!Reader
Dark!Benjamin Miller x Fem!Reader
Also: FishBen, and an assortment of other M/M relationships (no Millercest). Everyone is Bisexual
Series Masterlist: Main Masterlist
Spotify playlist
Summery: Ben shows his true colors
Warnings and Content:
DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT
DUB CON MOSTLY but there WILL BE NON CON. Major character deaths, forced breeding, physical abuse, brainwashing, manipulation, violence, gore, alcoholism/addiction, BIG OLE BLASPHEMY WARNING like this cult appropriates a lot of religious themes and they call reader their Madonna, Santi is called the Pope, like all that stuff. However, this is a cult so I mean. It happens. None of it are my thoughts on religion or meant to make fun of religion or demonize religious people. Disgusting views on virginity. Attempted rape outside the boys. T*m warning. Age gap. Creepy terrible men. Non-reader rape, dub con, violence. Covert incest, massive mommy issues, sexual abuse all around, past grooming by parental figure. no CSA but the victim isn't much older. some Bates Motel type shit. I cannot properly warn you for everything, without just telling the story but consider this a major warning that there are dark dark themes. No one involved here is morally clean, and who you perceive as the good guy cannot be relied on. Don't come to my story and say im romanticizing these things until at least the story ends.
Extra warnings for chapter: Oh my god the violence. Violent is here. Im so sorry.
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"I can picture every move that a man could make Getting lost in her loving is your first mistake Sundown, you better take care If I find you been creeping 'round my back stairs Sometimes I think it's a sin When I feel like I'm winning, when I'm losing again" ~Sundown, Gordon Lightfoot
Rey always had a way of making things better.
You were sat on the kitchen counter in a loose tank top and baggy shorts that may or may not be Will’s boxers, watching Ray cook for you an Iris. She’d been feeling unwell this morning, no doubt the stress of everything that happened the last few weeks getting to her normally impenetrable facade. You found out she caught the tail end of what Will did to Jonah. Now both of you had watched your fathers die.
But Rey had been emotional support to both of you. You leaned more on your husbands, but Rey gave a sense of normalcy. He was a lot like Ben, making it so you could let go of the guilt that plagued you constantly, clearing your mind of the swirling thoughts of Beatriz and Santiago’s true natures.
Will was safe. Protective and gentle and strong, he continued to dot on you, massaging vitamin c oil into your scars to reduce them now that they could take a little bit of pressure. Your healer, your guardian. You thanked him profusely for protecting you against Jonah’s attempt to rape you, even if parts of you still wished he wasn’t dead.
Francisco was who you were the most honest with. You could tell him how you felt about Santiago and Beatriz, work out your confusing thoughts in soft whispers when you were with only him. Santiago never let Francisco sleep with you anymore at night.  
Walking past you to open the oven, he gave your hand a squeeze, lingering a bit. There was nothing romantic or sexual about it; he just wanted you to feel better. To know he was there. He was better than this place, you knew now. Better than this world.
“Madonna! There you are!” Ben rushes in with Will behind him, reaching for you. “Christ! I was worried!”
You’re a bit shocked, but can’t help sliding into his arms. “What do you mean? I’m right here…”
Ben holds you close, your body pressed against his, skin to skin making you cringe. It wasn’t him, it was the idea of touch lately at all. 
Will clarified. “You said you were going to be in the garden, we were worried when we didn’t see you.”
You try to squirm out of Ben’s arms. His grip is hard and uncomfortable… he’s too close. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, just- ow, Ben- I didn’t think I needed to let you know? I never did before… Ben, please-” He’s kissing you now, your cheek, your neck, your lips… you don’t want Rey and Iris to see you like this… You hear Iris say something, but can’t quite make it out.
“That was before. With everything that’s happened, Jonah, the assasination attempt, we need to know where you are, always.” You didn’t like him talking about Jonah in front of Iris. You didn’t like him talking about Jonah in general. You squirm and try to dodge his kisses.
He rubs against the deepest burn on your belly, making you whimper, trying to push him away. Memories of Jonah’s attack flash in your hands, and suddenly he’s pulled off you. You think for a moment it’s Will, but you see Ben’s blonde hair fisted in Iris’s hand.
“She said stop!” Iris yanks him away and horror drops in your stomach. Ben wouldn’t hurt her, no, you didn’t need to worry, Ben was loving, fun, sunshine- He swung, clocking Iris on the jaw.
What happened next was a blur. Reyansh was on Ben is a second, a rage you’d never seen from your sweet guard before, and the two rays of sunshine throwing hands. Reyansh is slammed against the wall and you shout, wanting to run to him but before you even move Will’s hand is on your wrist. You watch two men you love beating on each other, Rey kneeing Ben in the balls and throwing him to the ground where he momentarily had the advantage. Ben, however, gripped Rey’s hair and used the momentum to roll their bodies over so Ben was on top. You’d seen Ben use the same move during sex. 
“WILL! DO SOMETHING!” You scream, watching them hurt each other but Ben with the clear advantage. Still, all he does is hold you back, fingers stroking your hair in an attempt to placate you, but you can’t stand by… still, you can’t get in the middle of a bloody fist fight, especially after watching Jonah die… why couldn’t Will step in when he clearly had the strength to? Ben has the upper hand, and looks like he’s close to killing rey the way Jonah died.
You see Iris make a move to get Ben off him, and Francisco who was previously frozen in shock runs to her. She tried to get out of his grasp, but he simply pushes her away and tackles Ben down. Francisco uses his weight to pin him, using a soothing voice to try and calm the fit. You yank your hand, hand, releasing it from Will’s grasp and painfully pulling on the burnt skin but you needed to get to Rey. Iris pulls his head on her lap, and he spits out some blood onto her dress but gives his girl a weak smile.
“You alright, my love?” He asks her, despite you cleaning blood off his face and her seeming unharmed.
She chuckles, crying but gives him a smile as well. “I’m alright, baby. I’m alright.”
Will is standing above you. You see Ben and Francisco are rising now, Frankie still holding Ben.
“What the hell was that, Saha!”
Rey doesn’t dignify Will with an answer, but you turn to him, giving a little bite to your tone. 
“He was defending his girl, Will. You’d done the same for me.”
“Madonna…” He warning in a stern voice, one that made you feel like a child being admonished by a house mother again. “He is a guardsmen, sworn to protect us, not throw punch-”
You looked up at him again, snapping. “He hit Iris!”
Ben chimed in with a ‘She hurt me first!’ but Will ignored him. “She involved herself in something she had no business to.”
“But Ben!-” You were cut off my Iris whispering your name. Her eyes were fearful… and you realize they held the same glint as when you caught her and Ben together… She mouthed, ‘don’t.’
Your eyes never leave hers. “Well, she’s my friend and he’s my personal guard so she’s under my protection.”
Fracicsco’s arms pull you, careful not to touch your sensitive parts. He’s telling you to go, but you worry for Rey and Iris.
“Will, you can’t hurt them, please?”
“I’m not-”
“But you are!” You pull at Francisco’s hand. “You are, because they hurt Ben but please! Don’t!”
Will sighs, shoulders relaxing down as he decides not to lie. “Madonna, they have to be punished. I promise it won’t be harsh.” His blue eyes look remorseful and honest, like he’s resigned to his duties. You trust he wouldn’t be unnecessarily cruel and you knew punishment was important in corrections… but this was Rey and Iris, your friends… Rey, who had only ever loved and protected you. Iris, despite everything, she took care of you. 
This time when you pull your arm Francisco lets go, and you rush to Will. You reach for his face, cupping it as you stare into his eyes. Will’s expression was soft, indulgent. He was listening. “Look at him, Will.” You gesture to where Reyansh still bloodied Iris’s skirts. “They both got hit, and Rey took enough for both, don’t you think?”
He seemed sympathetic to the pain Rey was in. “That’s the natural consequence of a fight, Madonna. I need to punish them properly, according to our rules.”
Tears fill your eyes and you hear Ben grumble, Francisco shushing him. “My husband, my love…” You beg him in choked words. You try to appeal to his sense of ownership over Rey and the guards. “He’s your guard, and someone hurt him… can’t we just call it even? Please?”
“No, Madonna.”
Rey coughs from the ground below you, trying to sit up. “I can take it, Will. Just don’t hurt Iris.”
With that, Will’s face shifts. This pulls at something and you take it. “He was just trying to protect her! You’d do the same if anyone hit me, Will, please you killed a man for me, you killed Melanie for me, I know you understand…” You take his hand in yours, kissing his knuckles that were still healing for beating Jonah to death. “Please… there's been so much pain here this week… I promise, I promise they learned.”
Ben must've seen Will considering, because he spoke. “Don’t let them get away with it, that bitch put her hands on me!”
His language shocked you, never hearing him talk like that, and Francisco saw the look in your eyes. “Will, c’mon… I think his nose is broken… and Iris just lost her dad… Madonna is under a lot of stress, don’t give her more.”
Finally, Will sighs despite Ben’s protests. He walks over to where Iris and Rey sit and helps them both up. “Go.” He says to Iris. “You can use my medicine closet. Patch him up. I expect him back on duty tonight.”
“Will! What the hell!” Ben shouts but you run up to Will, giving him a short peck on the cheek and whispering thank you.
Will tells Ben to fuck off, and goes to unlock his medicine for Reyansh. Iris turns and gives you a smile. 
“You just like to touch everyone but me, don’t you?” Ben’s words shock you back to reality.
“What? Ben… it’s not…” You reach for Francisco’s hand for security as he admonishes Ben, but he continues.
“You kiss Will, and I see you holding Saha’s hand, and now Frankie? But don’t think I’ve noticed you havn’t fucked me!”
“Benjamin!” Francisco shouts as you shrink at Ben’s words. He’s never spoken to you like this, and you don’t think you’ve ever even seen him angry, certainly not at you. “She’s had a traumatic months for fucks sake! Between Santi and Jonah can you go without pussy for a few fucking days?”
“I don’t know Frank, can you go without Santi’s dick in your ass for more than a few days?”
For the next several minutes, the two argued, exchanging heated words and painful secrets. You’d learned Francisco fucks Santiago every night, and the dark spots on his neck were from the husband who’d burned you alive. You learned Ben was sleeping with half of delta still. You learned there was a whole word that existed between the four of them that not only happened before you, but existed outside of you. You thought you were the nucleus holding them together. Instead, you were just the meal they feasted on.
*
You were finally well enough for him to take you on the horse, a careful walk, out to your meadows again. By now, you were too big to straddle him with his cock inside you and your skin and belly couldn’t bear his body against you. So, as you watched him set up the blanket, you knew you’d miss the feeling of napping in the warm sun with his cock stretching you.
“C’mere, baby.” Francisco helps you sit and then lay down, pulling you close with you using his meaty arm as a pillow.
“I miss you.” You mutter, and he kisses your neck.
His hand holds your stomach, feeling your baby kick. “I’m right here”
“That’s not what I mean.”
“I know.”
There was silence for a moment, letting the birds sing and breeze below through the rustling grass. It was so nice out, and you were thankful for your skimpy dress. You are reminded of all the times you laid here, endless hours making him flower crowns, braiding the little ones into his hair, kissing him, napping… all while he’s stuffed inside you, your skirt spread around your thighs. How many times has Jonah seen you like this? Had he watched from the trees as you fucked in languid strokes, not even trying to cum but just to feel him bucking into you? 
Or when Santiago had tripped you, burning your cothes off, fucking you by the fire… had Jonah stood and watched? Had he taken in the view, his own pornography, before helping you? Or when Francisco finger fucked you on the horse, had he savored your sweet sounds and memorized them for nights alone with his fist? How long had he wanted you? How long had he taken even innocent moments and turned them into something vile? 
You felt Francisco’s hard cock nestled between your ass cheeks, and by instinct you scoot away just a tiny bit.
“Shit, I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry Madonna I’m not trying too- I don’t know why-”
“It’s okay.” No one had been inside you since Jonah’s attempt, you barely let them touch you… but you had to trust Francisco, right? He was good. He was so, so good. “It’s… it’s okay…”
The feeling of him shaking his head russells your hair. “No, no love, it’s not…” He’s pulling back from you and you miss the warmth of his body so you reach back and grab him. 
“I miss you…” You choke out. “I miss feeling you inside me… I miss you… please? I want you so bad, Francisco.”
“Baby…” He caresses you cheek with the back of his hand. “You’ve been through a lot…”
“And I don’t want it to change us. Santiago, Jonah… I won’t let them tear us apart…”
He kisses the back of your head. “They won’t. I won’t ever let that happen. You are more important than them.”
It slips out before you can stop. “Am I more important than Ben?”
“I love you.”
You don’t have it in you to press further, instead you arch your back so that your ass brushes against his cock in his pants. “So much has happened… I need this… I need to know you still love me.”
He sighs, stating firmly. “I do love you…” but he moved to unbuckle his pants. You wished you could see him, you wished you could see the way his belly folded over his jeans. You wished you could run your hands over the skin and feel the hair on his chest. But you weren’t ready for that. Instead you just relaxed into his arms, relaxed into him, his safety, his protection. When he pushes your skirt up, his hands are large over your asscheeks and you enjoy feeling covered by him. When he slides in, your body makes room for the familiar feeling.
“Do you want me to make love to you? Or do you just want me inside?”
“Make love, please…”
A gentle kiss on the cheek. “Anything for you.”
*
Sliding inside you once again, Frankie felt a homecoming. He loved the long hours you and him would spend here, cumming inside you multiple times but keeping you plugged up with his cum. He wished he hadn’t wasted so much time getting inside you properly, loving you the way you wanted to… he would have knocked you up first if he’d been going at this rate… but now, the odds weren’t in his favor.
Frankie revelled in the sound of your mewling, soft and tender like a little kitten… his to protect. As he slowly thrust into you, he vowed he wouldn’t let anyon hurt you again. He needed to talk to Ben, to Will… he needed them to get on board. You clearly cared for Iris and Rey and they cared for you, so he needed to make sure they were protected. Ben had been sneaking out more, going into the community to presumably fuck some other young niave thing… but a rule had been laid about Iris. The fact she was fucking him had been out of her character anyway, but it was over now.
Ben needed to stop sleeping with everyone he could get his hands on, and he needed to respect Madonna’s personal space and boundaries. He was not entitled to her body, especially after all this happened.
Looking up the hill and into the trees, Francisco saw Ben. He stood tall, a scowl on his face; he didn’t like that he got to be inside you.
Francisco sped up his movements, fucking up into you and making you cry out in pleasure. You were unaware of your audience. He never let up eye contact as he rammed his cock into your core and pressed you close to him. His hands felt you up, showing Ben what he was missing. Sitting atop his horse, Francisco watched as Benjamin pulled out his dick and began stroking himself furiously. It was a scramble after that, Frankie wanting you to cum before Ben did, to ruin his little show but still show off what Frankie could do, the sounds you could make. 
“Francisco…” You whine, and he buries his face in your neck after checking your eyes were still closed, lost in pleasure.
“I’m right here, Madonna. Always right here…” His longer fingers swirled your clit, and he knew you were close by the way you were clenching down hard. Perfect, you were perfect. Your body shook in his arms as he filled you, the sweet sounds of your orgasm echoing through the meadow valleys and hills and up to Ben’s ears. Francisco didn’t see if he came; he didn’t care anymore. He needed to take care of his Madonna, for suddenly you were crying.
“I wish it was you.” You sob into his sleeved up arm. He was thankful today didn’t require undressing. He didn’t want to have to explain the cuts. 
“What do you-”
“The baby! I wish it was yours!”
He brushes a stray lock out of your face as he attempts to sooth you. “May it is… we don’t know…”
“It’s not.” You shake your head. “It’s Will or Bens. I just know it. Those first months, you barely touched me, and after I fail the first time Santiago only touched me once a night!” The way you had switched from Pope to Santiago was not lost on him. “It’s one of them!”
“Is that a bad thing? They’ll love that baby too, just like I will.”
“SANTIAGO WILL KILL ME!”
You explained yourself then, what Santi said. How he threatened you. You had one job, according to him, and that was to get pregnant. It wasn’t suppossed to matter if it was by the Millers, by Santi or himself… but of course, of course Santi had to fuck with you more, because it isn’t really about the savior for Santi.
It’s about Frankie.
*
It had been a few days and Rey’s face looked awful. He had definitely broken his nose, bruising showing deeply despite his brown skin. 
“I’m fine, swear to the gods.” He promises after catching you staring at his face. 
“Your eye is almost swollen shut.”
“Like I said, totally fine.” he jokes and you give him a little kick from where you sat on the counter. Iris was feeling sick so Rey and you were taking over cooking dinner. The pineapple upside down cake was in the oven, and Rey was working on the main dish right now. 
He watched you watching him, hesitating before he spoke, his tone more sololm than you were used to. “If you could leave… would you?” He watches your eyes go wide, so he rushed to explain more. “You’re pregnant with the savior, there's nothing that says he needs to be raised here! You told me yourself, Beatriz was evil, Santi… sweetie c’mon he threatened you if the baby is blonde! What if he kills the savior when they are born?”
“Rey!” You whisper harshly. “You’re talking heresy!” Your eyes are wide.
He chuckles tiredly. “We crossed that line a while ago… Listen… I know you love that baby, I know you want them to grow up safe and happy but that can’t be here. You’re husbands, they are batship insane and you know it.”
“No.” You shake your head, refusing to accept it. “No, it’s just… Santi, I think he needs help… I can help him, I can make him a better-”
Reyansh grips your shoulders now, an intensity you weren’t expecting. “No! You can’t! It's not just you, you have to realize that. He didn’t hurt you because you did anything wrong. You take off Frankie’s shirt right now and you’ll see a fucking masscure because he’s fucking losing it! He’s dangerous! And Ben, he-”
 Reyansh stops, voice cracking and you notice the wetness of his eyes. The pain is etched into every line on his young face. “He rapes my wife. My beautiful, precious wife- he… and I didn’t know, this whole time I had no idea what he’s been doing to her…” You can see he’s crying now, and you’re frozen in fear, reaching for his wet face. “I just let it happen this whole time but now I know the truth, and it’s not happening again and I can’t bear to see you get hurt again. I’m gonna get her out, and I want you to come. I don’t want to leave you here but… I have to protect my family. I want that family to mean you too, anuja.”
There was so much to process here, your mind was whirling from everything you were told, but the idea of Iris and Ben… Did you walk in on her being raped by your husband? Had Ben truly tried to get you in on it, to kiss and touch her while she was raped? To make you an accomplice in his crimes? You think of how she looked at you… fuck, how could you not see it? How did you think she was willingly a part of it when it was clear she loved Reyansh? And you treated her so horrible after…
“I’m gonna be sick.” 
Your head spins, and Rey wraps his arms around to set your feet on the floor again. The hand that gently touched his wet, bearded cheek now was on his shoulder to steady yourself as he slid you down from the counter. His arms firm but chaste around you as he pressed against the marble.
“Hey take a deep breath-” His face was ripped away from you, eyes wide as Rey was pulled back by his hair. Then, before you can react, his already bruised head is slammed into the corner of the countertop.
He begins screaming and you do too. 
You can see Santiago in the doorway, but he makes no attempt to stop the events unfolding in front of you, does nothing as Ben grabs the kitchen knife and throws it directly into Reyansh’s chest where he lay in agony. The scene has begun to garner a crowd, Frankie running in at the sounds of your screams but freezes in shock as blood files the kitchen once again.
“BEN! STOP!!!” You scream, but Ben’s eyes are crazed and he’s screaming at Rey not to touch you.
You aren’t sure the exact moment his eyes go dead and body falls limp, no longer reacting to the mass of stabs Ben continues to inflict, but you know it’s already too late when Iris bursts in, screaming her lover’s name. When she runs to where Ben is slowing down, straddling over your best friend’s dead body, Francisco reacts quickly, scooping her up and grabbing Iris’s arms behind her back. 
“REY! REY! REY!” Iris screams non stop, fighting to get out of Francisco’s grasp as he tells her it’s too dangerous. 
Finally, Ben falls over, panting in exhaustion. He throws up on the floor and you realize he’s drunk. The smells of vomit mixes with copper in the the room as the fluids run together. You are barely standing, knees weak, palms sweaty, unable to process what you’ve seen as Ben stands up and stumbles towards you. Will is in the room now, taking it all in, muttering ‘jesus christ Benny… what did you do…’
But walks towards you, a bright smile of white teeth a strange flash of color among the red covering his face. Red. He’s covered in Reyansh’s blood.
“Hey baby, wanna give me a kiss?”
Ben is pulled away from you.
“WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!” Francisco screams to him and you slide to the ground.
“He was touching her!” Ben tries to defend, but francisco is infuriated. He shoved Ben away, moving him to the door. On the ground, Iris is desperately trying to get Rey to come alive. The shakes, the touches to his face, the wretched sobs and ugly cries do nothing as he lays limp in her arms.
“FUCK YOU BENNY! HE WAS HER FRIEND! HE WAS MINE!” Francisco shoves him hard, making Ben stumble into Santiago.
Will steps up, gathering his fist in Francisco’s shirt. “Hey! Keep your fucking hands off him!” In which Santiago steps in and says something similar to Will. They begin to argue and fight and scream at each other; you are left on the floor, inconsequential. When you have the courage to look at Rey’s mangled corpse again, you gather the courage to crawl to him. Up close, the carnage in unbelievable.
There are massive gashes in him, holes in his body you can’t believe he had the strength and rage to go that hard into so many times. A stabwound in his eye.  A hole in his cheek.
“Rey…” You sob, reaching out for your bloodied friend. The door shuts behind you and you aren’t sure whose left. “Im so sorry, I’m so, so-”
Iris shoves you backwards, forcing you to fall softly on your butt. “GET AWAY FROM HIM!” She screams at you, and you sit in shock. She’s never spoken to you like this.
“Iris-”
“I TOLD YOU! I TOLD YOU THAT YOU WERE DANGEROUS TERRITORY!”
Francisco’s arms are around you, a feeling you’d recognize instantly. “I D-didn’t- I did mean-”
“You NEVER DO!” Her eyes are vicious, a fury that far surpassed anything you’ve ever seen in your life. “You are so goddamn stupid, walzing around here like you live in  FUCKING FARIE TALE and leave a trail of dead bodies behind you! You dad, Jonah, and now YOU HAD TO GET MY REY KILLED!”
You are speechless. She’s right. Everything is your fault. Jonah said your dad just wanted a better life for you… was that drive the reason the uprising started? Was the death of him, Deacon Tom, Delilah and all the rebels your fault? She had said she didn’t blame you for Jonah… but now her voice joins the chores of everyone else in your life… it was all your fault.
Francisco picks you up.
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I'm so sorry
Months and months ago while constructing this story, I had a friend i was working on it a lot with. She had a big hand in creating Iris and Rey. The entire time, before it was entirely planned out even, I knew he was going to die. I knew there was no happy ending to be had for Iris and Reyansh. And that made some scenes very hard too write. Rey didn't deserve any of it. He was a good man who loved his "wife." (not legally married bc cult stuff but in all the ways that matter, they were.)
There is no going back from this now. Madonna is shown who Ben and Santi are.
The last poll i fucked up! It was suppossed to be who does BEN love most lol
Save the children (which has absolutely nothing to do with QAnon who hijacked their hashtag) our currently supporting relief efforts in the Congo above our listed some quick facts that I hope you’ll take a moment to read, and if you can afford it, please consider making a donation. I have made a small one, but if we band together small donations make a difference
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LOVE YOU ALL!
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