#losing it so bad rn
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this has to be my favourite one yet
#star wars#losing it so bad rn#leia organa#obi wan kenobi#obiwan kenobi#obiwan#vivien lyra blair#star wars text post
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I decided to look up the meaning of the Thistle flower and one of the things was it was believed to have magical properties and I was all like “haha Ryoko Kui named the elf with magical powers after a flower believed to have magical flowers how silly” and then I see this.
You’re fucking kidding me. The flower is a symbol of protection and that’s all Thistle wants to do. The fact the article says “lovely little flower” too is flooring me because holy shit it’s him. Thistle is a little elf just trying to protect everyone.
Wait omfg the people who bought him named him. He was meant to protect everyone that’s what they expected of him that was his purpose. He was yelled at when he couldn’t protect everyone and he was praised when he did and that’s why he gets so stressed he was conditioned to protect them 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
He was meant to protect them and only that that’s why he was named that ough I am gonna be ill 😭😭😭 Thistleeeeeee 😭😭😭😭😭
#someone probably made this connection before but this is fucking me up so I have to share this#sorry if this sounds dumb or redundant I’m losing my mind rn#Thistle 💔#I feel so bad for him#I realized I swore so many times in this post and sorry for that too#dungeon meshi spoilers#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#thistle#thistle dungeon meshi#long post#rope/spider post
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VIOLETS/WISTERIA IN THE BACKGROUND OH CAITLYN........................
#im awake now hello everyone its back to making and queueing up gifs#LOSING MY MIND RN#THE BRAINROT IS SO BAD.............. i remember arcane s1..... holehhhhhhhh#personal tag#arcane season 2 spoilers#FUCK I FORGOT TO TAG SPOILERS SORRY YALL
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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forever and always bitter about how anduin got magically cured from his arthasfication in shadowlands ... i mean yeah the mental issues & trauma are there (somehow...shoutout to tww) but i mean physically!!
what if he lost his heartbeat and it didn't come back after his boss fight. no matter what he does his pulse isn't there, he doesn't know how he's standing and that's scary. what is he now? is he alive? is he dead? will he age? or will he rot on his own two feet like a forsaken? if that's the case, how much time does he have left? is he a ticking time bomb or will he be here long after his other shorter-life-span friends & adopted family die (assuming he even manages to make it that far)
granted, his mawsworn design in shadowlands was more a visual shorthand to the players that he was Evil Now than anything, he was just as alive as before, just possessed. he could seemingly be swapped between his original looking self and mawsworn self in the kyrestria cutscene? but i digress, the pale skin & hair? the blank eyes? Surely something had to have gone wrong with the amount of time he was stuck like that
#shl was fumbled so bad for such an awesome concept ☹️ i wish they had more time to let it saute#world of warcraft#anduin wrynn#shadowlands#the jailer#a homebaked post#cat screams about anduin#also asterisk by friends#i know he has one (wrathion) who he is ghosting like crazy rn but i mean like. jaina genn Moira dagran etc#but yeah even though i haven't read it in Years the prose about arthas losing his heartbeat slowly in that novel sticks with me#yeah? yeah i'm sure. yep send that blonde man into the torture dimension
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Soooo...it is NOT clear in the anime that Dazai is suuuuper freaked out by Q 👀
Legit, have we ever seen him this scared of a single person before? The way he's grabbing at his coat sleeve like an anxious little kid is like ?? hello? is that our Dazai???
Is he remembering something? Mori assigned him to Q in Fifteen and we never find out what came of that. He's obviously experienced Q's ability firsthand before. Was he traumatized by whatever the fuck is happening in that last panel??? Is he THAT freaked out by mind control??? Was he stuck in a situation where he couldn't stop Q's ability??? Does he feel responsible for Q hurting people?
Like seriously, compare this to how he acts around Fyodor. He's downright comfortable around him in comparison. Eesh.
#dazai losing his moodring eyes is literally the single biggest crime the anime has committed#like they do SO much to make him more expressive!!!#and give insight into when he's having Feelings!!!#bsd meta#dazai#Q#mori#dazai is having such a bad 20 minutes rn lol help him#he looks two seconds away from throwing up and hyperventilating!#dazai osamu#i want this in the main tag lets talk about this some more 🔥🔥🔥#vita.txt#long post
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i cant lie, im also beating myself up about not being able to get excited for the new game, or anything anymore it seems, while it can be fun to criticise things, some things you just dont like so badly that the frustration knowing it could be so much better but isnt and you not able to change it outweighs any fun- i dont like being a 'hater', i hate totk, but not bc i hate zelda but bc i LOVE it and want it to be better (though im starting to doubt my ability to do anything good with it too..)
and with the new game trailer (like, i still hope its better than im fearing rn) i feel similarly as when the next totk trailers dropped after the first one (which DID excite me), all of them gave me a sense of dread bc it seemed to go into a direction i wouldnt like, i tried to tone that voice down to enjoy the game, but then .. i was right
i dont want to be an annoying complainer about everything new, but maybe i am and i dont like that thought, i dont want to spoil anyones fun, i want to partake in it :(
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#either way#i know im in a bit of a swamp of bad feelings rn so i dont trust myself and what i say fully#but i have been thinking about trying to only work on destiny in terms of fanart#and look at my original stuff and perhaps gamedev a bit more seriously#dont get me wrong im not 'leaving' the fandom#but the things i like are so few and tiny parts of old games that are pretty much irrelevant to the modern fandom#like trying to keep driving on tires even when they lost all their rubber#after botw and the first botw2 trailer i was so deep into the theories of it all- and now i dont even want to look at the thumbnails#(even if those were largely boring or kinda weird- i felt like i was taking part in a fun group about stuff i like? in a way?)#what scares me about doing more original stuff though is ...#even my fanart was niche and largely not “popular” so doing oc stuff might be even worse and idk if my frail self worth can handle that dro#and to the last point of the post itself................. maybe a fear of losing community too#like how in school you where at first a part of the class#and as you got older your classmates started to notice how different and weird you were#and then you were alone
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My mental health is bad but I don't think that's reflecting in my work at all. Why do you ask.
#i know ive shared this before but its one of my favorite things ive ever made#should i update it?#with the new groups from the magician and the cowboys arc?#also not a joke mental health stuff is rlly bad atm life situations are absolutely destroying me#me literally like 'but we stay silly' through tears rn#jts fine. it will be fine#but BRO#Anyways.#i dont think i ever made a dedicated post for this little chart#i would love to talk about it#there is nothing that makes me feel better than absolutely losing myself in the oc sauce#so. PLEASE#no jk#but yknow this is funnay#we stay silly#memes#relationship chart#ttawebcomic#time and time again#yeah i should update this#maybe ill do that tomorrow
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FACE CARD AFTER FACE CARD AFTER FACE CARD AFTER FACE CARD AFTER FACE CARD
#THEY LOOK SO GOOD I AM LOSING MY MIND RN#HAJKHAKSHSAKHAS IDK HOW MANY TIMES I CAN SAY I'M LOSING MY MIND#LIA'S VISUALS ARE TAKING ME OUT SO BAD I WILL END IT RN
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I started in DC by reading fanfics, but as I began to read actual comics, I started to be unable to read the actual fanfic that got me into it in the first place because it's so out of character.
But there are still some stories that I love to read because I love the found family trope so much, even if it isn't really accurate to the source material.
As a comics purist (sometimes), are there tropes that you like enough that you'll still enjoy a fic even if it's not accurate to canon?
oh my god this is SUCH a fun question. bc while i started with the comics, there were certain characters and/or character dynamics where i was exposed to the fanon before the canon (just bc it's hard to read everything when you start out just to read some fanfic) and so i've definitely experienced the fanon to canon transition. (*especially* with Jason Todd. i had only read 80s/90s stuff where he was already dead or the New-52 bc that was on-going when i got into comics and man. the fanon misunderstandings i had about him before i got frustrated and sat down to read all his pre-Flashpoint stuff were absolutely bonkers.) and aside from that, whilst i tend to prefer canon over fanon, i'm not past giving fanon its flowers for occasionally having really interesting insights. occasionally. so some of my fanon "guilty pleasure" tropes would probably be
Morally Grey Tim Drake - this is one where if you try to back it up with canon, i *will* get salty about it. of everyone in the Batfam aside from maybe Bruce and Cass, Tim has the *most* black and white morals. often his internal conflicts are routed in such an inability to compromise his moral views and it can cause him to clash with other characters. he's *very* stiff and rigid in his beliefs and is *rare* to compromise in even the smallest ways. i mean, DC has repeatedly used Tim Drake of Tomorrow/Savior/Gun Batman!Tim for a reason. it's to demonstrate that of everyone, Tim *cannot* have his morals compromised. there's no grey area for him. he's zero or a hundred, so if he tips over the edge of "too far" he tips *all the way*, and doing so is one of his worst fears, how he could go "too far" if he let himself. a couple panels out of context from Red Robin (2009) (which was a grief spiral for Tim to begin with) don't change that. now that said. if it's done *right*, i sort of love Tim being morally grey in fanfic. it takes a specific flavor for me, and it's incredibly important to include that mental spiral along with it, of him struggling to justify it. i don't have any interest in "Tim Drake is loosy goosy with Bruce's morals and has the highest kill count and no one knows teehee" bc it doesn't play with the interesting parts of making Tim morally grey, which are fracturing his psyche. but all in all, i think it's fun to put Tim in a morally grey area and i will read it in fanfic and i enjoy writing it a lot
Joker Junior!Tim Drake - i've not written it on this account (yet) but on my main ao3 account one of my biggest fics surrounds this concept. this is one of those "well *technically* it's canon but only in a specific very divorced from the comics universe and would not work at all in the main timeline" so, i categorize it as fanon in that 95% of fics exploring the concept are not doing so within the Batman Beyond universe, but the main timeline. i just love it. I'll take any excuse to whump Tim, but this concept is so fun. psychologically breaking Tim will always be my favorite pastime. there are so many ways to explore the long-term effects this could have on him, how it could affect the Batfam. i'm not a fan of it being used as a "gotcha" to Jason or Babs' trauma with the Joker to paint Tim as the Ultimate Victim, but it is fun to see how their relationships would be affected by being mutual victims of him. (i have a vague JayTim idea where TIm fully retires from being Robin after being Joker Junior and killing the Joker, making Steph Robin for most of his typical Robin era and Jason still tracks him down out of curiosity bc he wants to know what happened and all. very underbaked but i've got thoughts.)
Renegade/Apprentice of Slade!Dick Grayson - this is another one where yes, this happened *sort of* in canon, but i highly doubt most people writing Renegate!Dick have read or are actually pulling from Nightwing: Renegade. it's just an exploration fo the concept fo Dick being Slade's apprentice and i will always eat it up in any capacity. whether Dick grows up with Slade from a young age, or chooses Slade for whatever reason later in life. it's not anything that works in canon bc it compromises Dick morally (similar to the above with Tim) and therefore will always come across incredibly fanon in most fics. but i can't say i don't enjoy it. it's fun to make Dick a little morally fucked up and see what you can make him under Slade's tutelage.
Jason & Damian Meeting in the League -there's no world where i believe this could work in the canon comics. (maybe in the Young Justice cartoon i suppose, but even then i think it's iffy) i would go as far to say it's wildly unrealistic. i don't see a world where Ra's would let Jason anywhere *near* Damian, bc Jason was Talia's pet project that he didn't approve of. that all said, there's something very interesting about how they *could've* met and them potentially bonding during that timeframe. them being somewhat brotherly during this time because Jason sees Bruce in Damian and sort of latches onto the kid and Damian is full of wonder hearing real stories about Batman and Robin, then that getting violently ripped away by Jason leaving the League is fun to me. it's fun how that could affect them within the Batfam and all. it's super fanon to me, but i do not care. i will eat it up
Bad Dad Clark Kent/Good Dad Lex Luthor - i will admit as a late, i've been less and less kind to this particular fanon bc of everything i've argued with people about, *this* one seems the most pervasive as misunderstood fanon. i don't mind when fanon exists, my gripe is when ppl try to claim it's canon. and the *arguments* i've had over this with people who can never seem to cite an actual comic are... frustrating. but that said, i think there is something fun to this strictly in fanon. the duality of who you expect to accept Kon and who you expect to hurt him being flipped is just sort of fun for the occasional guilty pleasure fic. it can make Kon's internal conflict a bit more interesting. the same goes for the Jon favoritism from Clark, it's not a canon thing (and i rlly wish ppl understood how complicated the timeline of Kon and Jon is and any distance from Clark toward Kon isn't malice, it's that Kon is from a timeline that Clark does not remember in the current canon so Clark just straight up doesn't know the poor kid.) but it's sort of fun to give Kon that complex of being overlooked and forgotten sometimes. making Kon just a *bit* more Luthor than Kent will *always* appeal to me in fanfic, especially if he *knows* it's wrong but craves approval from anyone who will give it.
Good Dad Bruce Wayne - i'll die on the hill Bruce is canonically a shitty father. maybe not to the extreme some people write him as, but he's not great at it. that said, i enjoy it in fanfiction. sometimes, i just want silly fluff or hurt/comfort where Bruce finally gets it right and manages to comfort whatever Batkid is in the fic. one of my favorite fics of all time is hinged on Bruce being a good dad, so i think it's just fun to explore how good the relationships *could* be, if Bruce was slightly less of an asshole. i usually prefer him as an asshole, but there are times i want low stakes nonsense.
Gotham Rogues Having Soft Spots for Robin(s) - just about every Rogue in Gotham has done something absolutely irredeemable, and most of them don't like or care about anyone in the Batfamily. but if there's a fic where one of the Robins inexplicably is sort of close with a Rogue and they have a cute silly relationship out of it? I'll eat it up i fear. Steph and the Riddler are besties? I'll believe it. Tim and Scarecrow get along pretty well? give me ten of these. Rogues protecting Robins just hits a spot. the unexpected nature of the relationship, as well as the fact they see each other regularly, can make a lot of good fodder.
#necrotic answerings#canon vs fanon#batfanon#batfamily#I was *going* to include “Janet and Jack Drake are bad parents”#then realized I don't really like that fanon anymore.#but I used to go *hard* for it even knowing it wasn't canon. it was all projection but still#nowadays I think the tragedy of Tim losing his parents the way he did is *far* worse if they loved him and were good to him.#I'm so serious about the Kon thing i've had *nasty* arguments where ppl got so rude to me telling me to “Google it”#like listen I get it. kon's canon backstory is currently difficult to understand#the timeline of the superboy mantle is a little confusing and most people have not read young justice (2019)#so for fanon it's far easier to simplify it as “clark just kinda sucks to kon” and i enjoy that#but the canon is also fun. it's fun when you consider how fucked up it is most people don't remember kon#and the timeline he remembers doesn't exist anymore.#also technically since they never killed off new-52!superboy on page there could be two superboys/kon-els running around rn. who knows.#i like to believe there is bc it's funny.#i have wanted to write a new-52!konkon/tim/kon sandwich#with the “is it selfcest or not” question#bc new-52!kon wasn't a clone of clark and lex.#so like. he's arguably a different character just sharing the name kon-el for some reason#also on the nightwing: renegade thing i know *damn* well most fanon-only fans haven't read it (no shade in that)#bc the fanon crowd despises devin grayson and she wrote it.#one day i'll write a meta about fandom treatment of devin grayson trust me.#this question was SO fun#i feel like i should have more answers?#if you'd asked me like six months ago this list would be three times as long#but the more i exist in this fandom somehow the saltier i get idk what's happening#so now i'm more and more attached to canon#but i will never begrudge someone for liking fanon#like i said my issue with it is the confusion of what is canon
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these flowers in the attic lifetime movies are absolutely wild did they even read the books i’m gonna cry
#i’ve only seen the first weird remake a few years ago#i’m just now watching these i avoided bc i heard how bad they are#BUT THIS IS SO BAD IM LOSING ITTT#the 80’s adaptation was good at least but i haven’t seen that i#a while#OUGH! WHATS GOING ON RN#flowers in the attic#vc andrews
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ALSKDFJGHUIGOFLDSKJDHK
Y A L L
I found the best frame of Hunter EVER
is he Done™ or just tired???
both. both is good 😂😂😂
#the bad batch#star wars the bad batch#tbb season 3#sergeant hunter#hunter tbb#tbb hunter#absolutely LOSING IT RN#I'm so tempted to make this my new icon ROFL#this is the new 'u good?' 'no' meme haha#XDXDXD#my dark and broody bandana man#star warz#tbb spoilers
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I have a vision:
Bonus:
#going insane over this rn#i used to be so obsessed with rwby#specifically with qrow#oooh now i'm thinking about like star wars tcw/tbb rwby au#brb going crazy over this#DO YOU SEE MY VISION#ugh i love them so much#crosshair and qrow would get along so well oh my god#and ruby and omega too#losing my mind over this#ok that's it#thanks for coming to my tag talk#tbb#the bad batch#rwby#tbb crosshair#crosshair bad batch#tbb omega#omega bad batch#qrow branwen#ruby rose
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if you do kill wally its gonna ruin me.
the poor man has lived and survived and suffered for so long. desperate to save his friends.
and it just gets cut from under him.
especially if he doesnt die alone.
... *nervously kicks plot document under the rug*
#ok no fr tho im... on the fence about it rn#after arc one wally's place in it all is. tenuous.#like i mentioned im reworking a Lot of it#so ill admit! i was going to toss wally into the (metaphorical) shredder with frank!#but now that ive Considered Some Things... he's standing on the edge of the (still metaphorical) shredder#as i decide on whether or not to push him in#wh lights out au#rambles from the bog#cause i realized that wally... might not want them all to 'escape'#he doesnt want to leave the neighborhood. its their home. he can fix things cant he?#and that adds sooooo many new problems that i have to take into consideration#and really... would he ever abandon Home? if the studio became uninhabitable. would wally leave or would he stay behind?#questions questions! wally is on Very thin ice!#either way its a bad time for him. im sorry to say but its a lose-lose situation
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Are you a costume maker for theatre!!!!
Yes! I just graduated so I can actually share some stuff I've gotten to work on without totally doxxing myself cuz I dont go to this school anymore but teehee yeaaaaah.
The first two I worked with another very talented person on but the all black number is my pride 'n joy Senior project that I patterned from scratch and made everything by myself
#char.txt#answered#failing the job hunt rn but I miss it so bad#and losing against tumblrs image size because my portfolio images are fucking humongous but 100+ hours of work. sobbed my little heart out#when i finished it. like i had nightmares about this things#that is not me modeling it but ik they do nawt want their face on my tumblr LMAO he gets confused for me enough as it is
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Made another spindle. It's very small. Also very irregular and lumpy due to the wood (I wanted the raised brown lines to stay and erred on the side of caution in how much I cut away...but that did lead to a very irregular spindle).
It also wanted to crumble as I carved, so pretty much all the fine tuning I just did by sanding it, which helps to compress the fibers down as well as remove material without crumbling or splintering.
It really came to life when I oiled it. Probably will be best after a few good coats and some time. My woodburning kit seems to be totally gone, which is a bummer. So I'm not woodburning anymore.
Spins well. Obviously being so tiny and light it was always going to be a fine spinning spindle, but effortless thread from an unprepped piece of fleece is pretty indicative as well. I seem to find myself carving mostly thread spindles at the moment. They're always so small and light in the hand, they remind me of holding baby birds.
#hurt a lot and its the only physical task ive managed today in any capacity#and it exhausted me and im falling over frequently#just from walking the 20 steps to my lawn chair outside the gate and whittling a small spindle#my sister was suggesting activities we could do but they all require holding things really#can barely even hold my phone to type rn#i also cant stop wondering if each spindle is the last i will ever be able to carve because they are so difficult#and take a pretty heavy toll on me. really upsetting to think about because i love whittling#and in an ideal world i would spend a significant amount of time in pursuit of making spindles#but i can't and each one is more difficult and painful#this one i was wondering at what point it becomes unsafe because i lose precision with the knife#when the pain is so bad im dissociating#which i was#switched to sanding instead then#idk man. could i have a shred of certainty about my body ? is that so much to ask for ?#things change and get worse so rapidly i never even have time to adjust to my new norm#there is no norm just rapid decline#i wouldnt have pushed thru the hell that was my teens and childhood if i knew this was what was next#oh well. here i am. whittling spindles thru the blinding pain anyway#what else can you fucking do#spindle making#whittling#supported spindle#vent in tags
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