#losing a parent when you're young that you grow up looking like a 1 to 1 recreation of

[beresaad]

thinking about how atreus didn't really get any of kratos's features — he doesn't have his dark hair or his yellow eyes or his olive brown skin, he's a perfect carbon copy of his mother. her red hair, her blue eyes, her pale skin, can you imagine what that must be like for him?? seeing so much of his mother when he looks in the mirror, how much he must miss her when he sees his own face? can you imagine what it must be like for kratos, to see so much of faye in their boy's eyes?

[princeasimdiya12]

Bucchigiri Utena Parallel-Wannabe Heroes and the Illusion of Fairy Tales

Apart from the NNL segments, I've also had some thoughts on the Bucchigiri storyline and it's parallels to the themes of Revolutionary Girl Utena. And this time my focus as been on Matakara, who has often been hailed as being the true protagonist and hero of the story because of his honorable, kind-hearted and proactive qualities. Much like Utena herself.

And like Utena, the two share a somber backstory where they held on to fairy tale beliefs to help them overcome their hardships and grow into the heroic figures they wish to be. But what they don't know is that they naively followed these tales without realizing the misinterpretations of those beliefs that have been passed down for generations and would soon become victims of the fairy tale figures that once inspired them.

But before I can delve into that story, we need to talk about this story.

Note: This post will contain MAJOR SPOILERS from the Revolutionary Girl Utena anime. If you still haven't watched it and want to be unspoiled, then please refrain from reading this until you've seen it. If that doesn't bother you, then go on ahead. Also, I would strongly recommend speaking with a friend or a reliable user about the dark and trigger-worthy content featured in Utena before watching. It's a great show but it does get DARK.

Also, there's another user who's planning on making an analysis post comparing Matakara and Anthy Himemiya so keep an eye out for that if you're interested in more Bucchigiri-Utena parallels.

Part 1: Origins of an Orphan

To start, Matakara's backstory and his idolization of Arajin has multiple similarities to Utena's backstory. For the purpose of this section, I'll be using the version that was shown to us in Episode 1 and not the true version.

"Once upon a time, many years ago, there was a little princess and she was very sad. For her mother and father have died."

The first piece of info that Utena gives us is that she was an orphan and was in despair because of her parents' deaths. Though Matakara's own parents haven't been brought up nor has it been explained what became of them, it's clear that he lost them at an early age. And while he did have his older brother and his presumed relatives to watch over him, this did very little in helping Matakara overcome his grief or escape the shadows that haunted him since he was little.

"Before the princess appeared a traveling prince riding upon a white horse. He had a regal bearing and a kind smile. The prince wrapped the princess in a rose-scented embrace and gently wiped the tears from her eyes."

While lacking the regal bearing and white horse, Arajin was the traveling prince who came into Matakara's life and inspired hope and light within him. As shown in their flashbacks, he was always a friendly and cheerful boy who radiated confidence and spirit. A true hero that Matakara could look up to and help him overcome his sorrow.

"Little one, he said, growing up alone in such deep sorrow, never lose that strength and nobility. Even when you are a young lady. I give you this to remember this day, we will meet again. This ring will lead you to me one day."

The crux of Matakara and Arajin's friendship was their desire to train and grow into becoming true Honki people. Warriors with strong hearts and did not flee from battle. Arajin genuinely saw that Matakara had that potential and encouraged him to train alongside him.

And what's more noteworthy is that the two are given a token to immortalize the moment. Utena is given a rose ring to remember the prince and her own nobility while Matakara is given a friendship stone to remember their bond as future Honki People. Even as their fated princes leave, the two heroes carry those precious tokens well into their adolescence years, never forgetting their mission of becoming the people they want to be.

It could also be argued that Mitsukuni, his older brother, could qualify as the prince in this scenario as he inspired him to stay strong in the face of adversity. Such as in Episode 8 where he explained the creed of the Honki and how he inspired his little brother to be brave like them. He even brings up their creed to Matakara just before he's hauled away to the big house.

"Perhaps the ring the prince gave her was an engagement ring. This was all well and good but so impressed was she by him that that the princess vowed to become a prince herself one day."

So the cherished prince rides off into the world leaving Utena alone, much like Arajin and even Mitsukuni would leave Matakara alone because of their respective issues. But rather then succumbing to despair, the two heroes resolved to maintain the noble spirit that those heroic figures saw in them. Utena went on to become a prince herself while Matakara would become someone worthy of being a Honki person. Though Matakara struggled more on his journey given how he threw himself into bloody battles while being alone, he would eventually be adopted into the Minato Kai Gang and become closer on his path to becoming a Honki person.

And just before we can go straight to Utena's story in the present, the fairy tale closes with a question to the viewer.

"But was that really such a good idea?"

For first time viewers, it's easy to interpret this question about Utena, a girl, becoming a prince since it defies traditional gender roles and what is expected in classic fairy tales. But as the RGU story progresses, we see that the concern comes not from a girl becoming a prince but more on the problems that come with being one.

Two in particular stand out. The first is that men who become princes usually use those roles for the sake of superiority and having control over women. They lack the nobility a true prince should have and relish in the title because of it's power and privileges. The second problem, and the one that this analysis post will focus on, is how princes who live up to those roles are exploited by the people they try to protect.

Part 2: The Truth That is Twisted by Time

All fairy tales, legends, myths and stories which have been passed from one generation to the next. And as the years go by, those stories are often subject to adaptations based on the preferences of the storyteller or how society uses those tales to explain their respective beliefs. A common criticism is how most fairy tales have more imaginative elements in play and avoid the grittier elements that the tale originally used (Ex. Cinderella got her dresses from a tree instead of a fairy godmother and her stepsisters chopped off parts of their feet to get the slipper to fit, Aladdin used African slaves as part of his prince con).

And we see those changes in adaptations in the fairy tales Utena showcased that omit or warp the truth to the ones who hear of them.

Such as in Utena's origins, we're told that it was only a prince who inspired her to become one so she can reunite with him one day. But the truth was that her decision was because she met Anthy who was suffering from the hatred of humanity. And the only way to rescue her was to turn into a prince whom she could believe in.

We also see a new adaptation in the backstory of Anthy and Akio which is now known to the world as The Tale of the Rose. The world remembers their story involving a powerful and perfect prince who was stolen from them by his sister who turned into a wicked witch out of jealousy. But the truth was that Anthy sealed him away not out of spite but out of love and concern as her brother was being exploited and over exhausted by a massive, unsatisfied world who overly-depended on him.

So as Utena demonstrates, the fairy tales we start out learning about aren't exactly as true as their origins demonstrate. They often omit or do away with the more tragic and gray aspects of the characters in those stories. This is all well and good, but what does that say about the Honki People?

Right in Episode 1, we're told that they're courageous and valiant fighters who train nonstop and pour their heart and soul into battle. Despite being brushed off as a simple old story in the present day, their legends and battles prove worthy enough of recognition. They have a temple in their honor, Arajin and Mataraka trained to become like them, and even the city is named after them. The narrative does a decent job in explaining the concept of the Honki People, but what about the people that inspired those legends?

As we see in Episode 9, we learn that Senya and Ichiya actually started out as ordinary humans who dedicated their lives to training and fighting one another, hoping to become a true Honki Person. It's stated that Ichiya was training himself to be a Honki Person so the legend was already around when the two of them were only boys growing up in a Middle Eastern town. And fitting the Aladdin parallels, Senya started out as a simple street rat with no family or home to call his own. And after meeting someone as cool, powerful and inspiring as Ichiya, he decided to spend his life alongside someone he could call his friend.

A rather somber element is that while the whole world grew up learning and embracing the Legend of the Honki, none of them actually knew who those Honki People were or what their past lives were like. Would it even matter to them how they started as humble street urchins with no family or home to call their own? They knew what they turned into, but they never stop to think about who these legends started out as or what their backstories or even their names are.

But what's more tragic is what became of Ichiya, the one who inspired Senya. Though we still don't know the exact details for what Senya did that tarnished their friendship, it ultimately impacted his best friend for the worst, corrupting his heart and letting him be filled with hatred and contempt. He no longer valued friendship like he did when he was human and views it as a weakness that must be purged. Perhaps becoming a true Honki Person wasn't all it's cracked up to be given how they're bound to pistols and made to serve whoever finds him for thousands of years.

It's akin to the Rose Prince who's powers were sealed away by Anthy in a desperate act of love leaving him unable to save the world like he used to. Only because of his powerless state did the Prince lose his heart and became a cruel, manipulative and spiteful monster who longed to reclaim what once belonged to him. He would even resort to inflicting every form of abuse imaginable onto his sister as "punishment" for what she did to him. (And yes I do mean every form so please keep that in mind if you haven't seen Utena yet!)

The hero who was glorified and admired in their respective tales loses their nobility in real life, allowing themselves to be corrupted and be filled with new desires of revenge and power. Transforming into the opposite of what they represented in the generations that told their stories. Simply put, they become a villain.

A villain who is...

Part 3: The Virtuous Victim Turned Vile Villain

Bucchigiri and Revolutionary Girl Utena are shows that share the themes of fairy tales while deconstructing and subverting tropes associated with them. One of which that the two share is playing on the idea of a heroic or fairy tale archetype (the genie and the prince) becoming the villain of their respective shows. It's even more ironic that the true heroes of those series would start out being inspired by adaptations of them that portrayed them in a positive light only for to fall prey to their schemes when they meet them in real life. Bucchigiri has Ichiya, a true Honki Person that Matakara heavily looked up to, and Utena has Akio, the Fallen Prince Dios who led the sad princess on the path to becoming a noble prince.

Each of them started out as the ideal fairy tale figure that helped the heroes when they were only children who confronted sadness and loneliness at a young age. But now that they're older and are meeting with them, they end up falling victims to the fairy tales they initially admired and tried to become. And neither of them realize that they're being used as it happens.

Ichiya's goal is ultimately to merge with Matakara to take over his body and exact his revenge on Senya. As to what Ichiya's motives are after taking his revenge aren't clear, but what is clear is that Matakara will lose himself after being completely possessed. And because Matakara is suffering through his feelings of loneliness and his childhood friend's true nature, he doesn't even notice how Ichiya is manipulating him to improve the merge rate.

Akio's goal has been to groom Utena into producing a noble heart that can help him reclaim his original powers, even leading her in an intimate relationship to further manipulate her. Should he succeed, then he'll discard Utena and move with his life as Prince Dios once again. If not, then he'll discard her and find another person to groom. And Utena doesn't realize this as she's led to believe that he's the prince who once saved her from despair and she'll get the happily ever after she believed will make her content.

The scary part about this, is that they're not the first victims to fall prey to their wicked schemes.

Though it hasn't been confirmed on Ichiya's side, it's heavily implied that he's bonded with other people who found his magic pistol before taking full possession of them. Given how he's lived for thousands of years and initially resided in a public Honki temple, there's no way he would have not been found by some unlucky sap. His common knowledge of possession would suggest he's done this before and has seen the unfortunate results of the person he takes control of, which he mentions to Akutaro.

As for Akio, he also has lived for thousands of years and organized constant Rose Duels in the vain hope of choosing one lucky winner to steal their heart so he can break. Using his sister as a prize to be one, there have been countless tournaments held with the hopes of finding the right target that can help him regain his powers from the Rose Gate.

Alas, neither villain was successful with their attempts given that they've turned their sights on the new generation of heroes to continue their cursed wishes that have lasted for centuries.

And speaking of wishes, remember how I brought up in Part 2 how fairy tales were much darker compared to the more enchanting stories we grew up with?

Well thanks to a peculiar finding by @mahoromouse, I came to realize something about Ichiya and possibly Honki people in general. They're not even genies, they're djinn.

Contrary to the Western media's adaptation of genies as whimsical, playful, wish granting spirits who are voiced by beloved comedians, djinn were actually neutral spirits who were born from fire and were able to wander the Earth like humans do. That said, there are some djinn who grow stronger when interacting with negative emotions found in a human being. It's even said that they can inspire greater levels of negative emotions in a human that they target. Much like how Ichiya is cultivating Mataraka's anger towards Arajin and his fears of the shadows that haunt him.

And how fitting it is that from the moment Senya was introduced to us, Arajin and the audience interpreted him as a genie. Especially given that Senya even offers him a wish while proclaiming that "Honki" can also be spelled to make "Majin" 魔ま人 which in Japanese means "demon person" or "magical person". But have we actually seen Senya grant Arajin's wish of losing his virginity? While he does help the boy in getting stronger and boosting his image as a man, that doesn't mean it's gotten him very close to losing his virginity (thank goodness). And it can be inferred that Ichiya never granted Akutaro's wish despite having stayed by his side during his reign as the NG Emperor.

Given how the Western's portrayal of genies have been popularized and glamorized for years, we have easily forgotten the true origins of genies or djinn and the grittier aspects associated with their backstories.

Conclusions

The theme that the two shows share is how a child who was in a dark moment in their life was inspired by a fairy tale to help them find the light. And so touched were they by the heroes in the stories that they decided to become just like them. But as their respective shows demonstrated, that wasn't a very good idea. The Prince and the Honki Person they once admired turned out to be monsters who resolved to exploit them and reclaim something that was lost to them many years ago. And because they grew up with the romanticized and ideal versions of their idols, they never realized the truth about them which was lost in time mixed with ongoing adaptations that omitted their pasts making them more acceptable to the world.

As for whether Matakara will be saved from Ichiya's corruption while still gaining a heart that does not flee, I cannot say. But as it stands, it looks like Arajin will need to be the one to come in and save the boy he once inspired and who still holds dearly in his heart. And just like I mentioned in my last NNL segment, maybe their friendship won't be the same anymore despite defeating Ichiya. Maybe Matakara will still harbor negative feelings to his friend for how he was mistreated and abandoned for so many years. But much like how Utena ended on a hopeful ending, I believe the same thing can happen in Bucchigiri.

And those are my thoughts on the matter. It's been a great while since I wrote an analysis post this big so thank you if you committed to reading all of this. So what do you think of these themes? If you agree or disagree with anything I've written, please feel free to reblog and/or comment with your own ideas. Thank you and may you have a great day/night!

[softpine]

working on the next post was frustrating me so i made more of coco's family to relax!! let's hear it for beautiful brown eyes

nico (33), nicole "coco" (23), monica (22), jasmine "jazzy" (18), amir (12), xena (1)

their family situation is very complicated but if you're interested:

nico was an oopsie when their mom was young. she got married and then quickly divorced nico's dad. coco looks up to her brother a lot. he's the kindest, most generous person you'll ever meet (gives you the shirt off his back kinda guy) and he loves coco so much, but he has an intellectual disability as a result of a complicated birth and he was never given the support he needed. he's had problems with substance abuse for a long time. growing up, coco always wanted to be around him, and unfortunately he didn't always do a good job of sheltering her. even though she doesn't blame him, he'll always blame himself for exposing her to his lifestyle.

when coco's mom met her dad, she didn't want to ruin things by getting married again. nevertheless, coco was planned. she was supposed to be the last baby (hence the cute matching names: nico and nicole).

monica came along so quick after coco that they were basically raised like twins, but coco was still very much a protective big sister to her because monica started losing her eyesight as a toddler. by middle school, she could only see light & shapes. she continued to go to the same school as coco, but she didn't get much in the way of accommodations, so coco was the one who helped her the most. she made sure monica never fell behind or felt different – she learned from nico that if she didn't support monica, no one would. they're the only 2 that share both the same birth parents, though monica always got along better with their dad than coco. oh also she's the sister that used to listen to danny's music fjkjsds

jazzy was from their mom's 2nd marriage which didn't last long. she spent summers with her dad in indiana, which made coco so jealous until she actually visited indiana herself lol. she goes to college at purdue so coco doesn't see her much. it also makes coco feel weird that they both started college at the same time though coco is 5 years older. she wants to be the big sister giving advice and helping jazzy through college, but jazzy has her life together more at 18 than coco ever has. she won't admit it, but she does judge coco for her life choices, and she has a lot of valid reasons for doing so. sadly jazzy had a front row seat to some of coco's worst moments. neither of them really know how to move on from that.

their mom is still married to amir's dad. he's the only kid still living with their mom. coco actually spends quite a lot of time with amir; he likes to stay at her apartment when he needs a break from his step siblings (who coco barely knows, since they moved in after she moved out). they also like to get out of the city and go exploring together / hiking

xena is....... complicated. she's the only one here that doesn't have the same birth mom and that's really all i can say. (btw i'm not bringing back the 2018 extreme red blush, the poor thing just has eczema)

[phoenix-of-jade]

12

In honor of SPOTIFY WRAPPED,  send me a number 1-100 and I’ll write you a starter based on the song.

Song number 12: Love the way it hurts by Cloudy June

Oh, your demons match my ghosts

Twin spirits... That was the conclusion the raven haired had came to after listening to Minjun's story about his past and the unfortunate love story he'd gone through. It was interesting how two seemingly completely different people, with completely different backgrounds, could share soo much in common, from a complicated family background characterized by messy games of power and the iron fist of parental authority, to the tragedy of losing their first loves in an unfortunate turn of events that would make said people haunt them to this day (even if the circumstances were different for each one of them, as well as the nature of the "haunting").

I'm sad as fuck you know

When Minjun told him that he couldn't let go of Joowan because he was his very first ever love, the information kind of struck a sensitive chord buried deep within Xuan's heart and soul. He could relate in a way with the lawyer's pain and struggles with moving on, because he too was haunted by a similar ghost: while he didn't lie about Cheng being some sort of 'ex', the man wasn't Xuan's only friend he'd ever gotten involved with in a seemingly romantical way.

The two had another friend with whom they both were very close, a boy named Xia, and while Xuan didn't love Cheng in a romantic manner, he did bear this kind of feelings for this boy; feelings he was too young back then to be able to fully understand what they were or what they meant, but which made Xia be the closest thing to an actual crush Xuan had ever experienced. Unfortunately, Xuan lost Xia when they were still kids, the young man dying at the ripe age of 13 and leaving the at the time 12 year old Xuan with a grueling sense of survivor's guilt. And to this day, the green eyed man blamed himself for Xia's death even if it wasn't his direct doing, living under the impression that anyone he'd grow to love ever again would end up suffering a similar fate, which made Xuan swear that he'll never love again.

You can always make it worse

Yet, cut to the present, and the time spent in the company of this stunning and clever lawyer made Xuan feel a kind of tingle he hadn't felt in literal years, something he never thought would be possible ever again. That strong feeling of compassion and empathy he felt for Minjun, paired with his respect for this handsome man's strong will and determination, had made Xuan develop a keen liking for his new business associate. In other words, he was starting to develop a new crush. But was he ready to accept this kind of feelings in his life? Was Xuan ready to allow himself to love again and welcome this still unknown feeling to nestle into his stone cold heart?

Baby I need you I need your claws on my neck I need your bitter red wine lips and dirty regrets I need your hunger Feels like you're tying me up I'm begging you for your love Begging you for your love

Before he realized it, Xuan had already started to slowly fantasize about him and his lawyer, and that did not include the business framework in the slightest! He couldn't take his mind off of Minjun's charming smile, his charismatic voice and the way his pretty lips looked soo kissable! It was strange feeling like this for someone so suddenly after he hadn't ever caught any semblance of such cravings for anyone else in literal years, not even for Cheng, with whom he had an intimate relationship after all...

Maybe it was the fact that Minjun kind of reminded him of Xia, in a way? It was true, he had black hair and brown eyes like his long departed friend, but so did many other people he'd interacted with in the past and he hadn't developed any displays of lust like this for them. Or maybe it was Minjun's charisma and very kind and selfless nature that reminded him of the young man? Xuan didn't know, but it frustrated him nevertheless. He wanted something from Minjun, that he could tell, but what exactly that something was, heck if even he knew!

Interesting enough was that the lawyer seemed to be interested in him too, or that's what Xuan thought from watching him closely during their conversations. It was bad! This only served to fuel those weird feelings and desires he was having even further! Should he even try to initiate something...?

Xuan shook his head in frustration, sighing and leant back into the chair, staring at the ceiling. Was it even worth it? What if he tries to initiate something romantic with him and Minjun rejects him? Not only would he end up hurt (especially his pride and ego), but that would also risk ruining their business relationship as well...

The raven haired heaved a deep sigh, wondering why things had to be soo complicated? And even if let's say, Minjun were to actually return these feelings of attraction, there was still the issue of his stalker ex boyfriend... Xuan furrowed his eyebrows remembering about what Minjun had told him: Joowan was a murderer and if he'd deem Xuan as competition, he might attempt 'eliminating' him the best way murderers know...

But how can I make me not want you now? Can I make me not go to your house?

But when was he ever afraid of death to begin with? Xuan let out a self-ironic snort. The idea sounded soo stupid in comparison to his lifestyle: he was dealing with the threat of death on a daily, such was the life of a powerful mob leader such as himself. So what was one more assassination threat on top of the already long list looming over his head? Xuan wasn't a scarredy cat. He'd never fret in the face of danger and that wasn't something that would change now. If he wanted Minjun, he could've as well gone for it! Xuan wasn't going to let anyone get in his way and if worse came to worse, he was sure that at least he could rid the lawyer of this annoying pain in the ass.

Baby I crave you I crave your taste in the night (...) And it's rushing from my feet to the back of my head

That thought in mind, Xuan smirked to himself a sinister smile. Yeah, he wasn't going to back down and give up that easily! When he wanted something, he was the type of man that wouldn't refrain from doing almost anything to get that something and if that bastard was even going to think to stand between him and Minjun, Xuan was going to show Joowan what it meant challenging the Green Eyed Death himself.

So yeah, he was going to actually go to Minjun house tonight and finally do what he's been craving to do for quite a while now. Once that decision set, there wasn't turning Xuan back from it and he was going to make sure that nothing, and really nothing, would stand between him and his goal! Those were the very thoughts traversing Xuan's mind as he stared at the shiny revolver glistening in the dim light of the study, before placing it in its holster, concealed nicely underneath his shirt and pants at his back.

Oh, your demons match my ghosts I'm sad as fuck you know You can always make it worse But I love the way it Hurts and maybe that's my curse Come and drag me through the dirt You can always make it worse But I love the way it hurts It hurts It hurts But I love the way it hurts It hurts Oh it hurts

Indeed, they were twin spirits attracting one another and for that reason they should have been together... Xuan wan't one to give up without a fight and even if this would've ended up hurting him in any shape or form, he was more than willing to take that pain. After all, wasn't he the type who liked a little bit of pain anyways?

Cheeky grin played at the corners of his lips and his emerald eyes shined with the glow of a hungry predator ready to go after its pray, as the raven haired exited the office. Let the hunt of the night begin!

[if-lost-please-return-to-maliksi]

WHERE THE RAINDROPS FALL - PT.1

Disclaimer: I do not own Maliksi and Makisig and other Planet Puto characters that are occasionally mentioned. Full Credit to the character and art goes to HC - @ask-emilz-de-philz Please check out their blog for amazing art and the wonderful world of Planet Puto. All involved characters in any suggestive situations within the story are adults.

TW: Maliksi has a foul mouth ((which is nothing new, really))

A/N: Agwa is my OC, she's a Naga. The Philippine Naga lore originated in Bicol and they are fresh water mermaids, but instead of having fish tails, they have the lower body of a water snake or eel and the upper body of a human female. In Philippine folklore and mythology, they are often described as having an alluring face, curvaceous body and long flowing hair. They are fond of children, but very vicious to adults. They are also known to be extremely curious that they usually take human form to explore their surroundings. They bring rain, and thus fertility, but are also thought to bring disasters such as floods and drought.

Maliksi hates humans and no one is an exception, not even children who occasionally get lost along the moonlit forest path the tamawo usually prowls at night.

"Great. A snotty little human brat." Maliksi muttered underneath his breath as he looked down the crying girl who is slumped into the forest floor, hands clasping her dress as if to soothe herself.

The kid looked up at him, her face stained with tears as she tried wiping off her runny nose using her dress.

"Annoying little brat is too dumb to speak. And your parents must also be very stupid to lose you at this time of the night." The tamawo scoffed, clearly annoyed at the kid who is still too young to be speaking full sentences. "Humans are such idiots, and you will grow up to be the same-"

Maliksi fell silent when a minasbad was suddenly pressed into his neck with just enough pressure that he knew he won't be liking the outcome incase he moves an inch. His eyes were met with two ruby orbs glinting with pure displeasure as he looked up to a taller figure infront of him. Her hair is eerily beautifully long and curly- flowing down her shoulders and cascading down her back like the gentle first rain on an afternoon of June.

"Shut. the. fuck. up." The words came out of those pretty lips, not as a simple request but rather a threat.

Everything went quiet that Maliksi is sure he can hear a single pin drop at this moment- that is until he hears the nearby river's current, slowly building up into a raging pace. This was the very first time some woman spoke to him in such cold tone. And for the very first time, Maliksi felt his heart beating out of his chest in pure adrenaline- was he scared? No, he can't be. Intimidated? By a woman, impossible, right? Unless-

It didn't took long before Maliksi was able to put two and two together, realizing he is now face to face with a naga in human form and in the worst situation possible. The naga are known to be extremely fond and protective of human children and Maliksi was caught red handed not being exactly kind to one.

Maliksi quickly extended his claws but the naga's minasbad has definitely at an advantageous range against him.

"You're...tiny for a tamawo."

This is another first time- usually Maliksi was the one throwing insults and taunting someone he's facing and not the other way around.

Agwa tilted her head as she curiously examined Maliksi, trailing her eyes along his form, looking him up and down before softly chuckling and withdrawing her blade from his neck, realizing he isn't much of a threat and it wouldn't be worth it to get in a fight infront of an already frightened human kid.

The naga then turned around and picked up the child who has now stopped sobbing. Agwa started softly humming and within seconds of hearing the naga's enchanted voice, the girl was sleeping soundly on her arms as she tenderly and protectively cradle her.

"Excuse me?!" The tamawo scoffed as he covers his ears, not wanting to risk his chances against the naga's song, but still looking very appalled and offended from the her remark about his height.

Agwa smirked as she looks down on Maliksi. "You're tiny. I thought tamawos are supposed to be tall so girls will fawn over them."

" And I thought you fishies belong on the water and not here! You human wannabes-" Maliksi retorted.

Agwa raised a brow as she looked down on Maliksi. The raging currents of the nearby river quickly rising.

She clenched her fists before taking a deep breath to calm herself down but it's not exactly working. "Careful now, boy." She spoke in a tone that sent shivers down Maliksi's spine.

He is not liking the way his mind reacts to Agwa. He is not one to feel intimidated by anyone, but hearing her speak to him like that is like a double-edged sword. It drives him crazy with rage that someone dared to speak to him in such way, but it also makes him want get her to do it again, wanting to see how far she's willing to take it with that threat of hers.

Agwa can feel herself getting more and more annoyed by Maliksi's presence, as she can sense the absolute stubbornness the tamawo possesses.

"You keep running that mouth of yours and I'm raising the tides to-"

"Agwa, please forgive my brother. He's just not good with words." Makisig's voice rang throughout the forest as his footsteps slowly grew louder as he walks towards the two. Wanting to prevent any conflict that involves his own brother and his friend.

Maliksi's demeanor quickly shifts as he saw his Kuya Makisig, quickly standing beside his kuya, clearly happy about his presence.

"Kuya-"

"This tiny boy is your brother?! He's a sassy little thing." Agwa quickly turned to Makisig who happens to be her friend for a very long time now.

"I'm older than you, and I'm not tiny! You're f*cking lucky that my Kuya is here because I'll be dicing you into sashimi if it's just the two of us. Kuya, you know this fishy girl-"

"Maliksi! She has a name. You are not being nice and it'll cause you trouble one of these days. You're lucky Agwa here is being really calm and has not decided to drown you before I arrived. Other nagas are not that forgiving."

Agwa rolled her eyes at Maliksi. "Your brother is right-"

"Of course he is right!" Maliksi gritted his teeth in an effort to keep himself quiet and not clap back with something sarcastic, not infront of his kuya atleast.

Agwa was taken aback from how fast Maliksi agreed. She thought he'll be whining about it. "I'm Agwa. I won't be drawing my blade against you incase we happen to ran into each other once again in the future since you're Makisig's brother." Agwa extended her hand towards Maliksi, wanting to settle their earlier dispute.

"But I won't hesitate to drown you a little incase I see you being mean around human children once again."

Maliksi was about to run his mouth mindlessly again, not used to being spoken to like that, and not by a woman that is. His kuya Makisig quickly covered his mouth and gave Agwa a polite smile. "Sounds fair, Agwa. I'll make sure bunso here won't be mean around kids anymore."

Agwa nodded before excusing herself to take the human girl who is still enchanted by her song earlier and is still sleeping peacefully in her arms to safety where kind humans will find her and help her find her way home.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆.

Maliksi has always been the type to get into fights very often because of his temper and foul mouth. It doesn't matter what creature you are, if he's in a bad mood then the possibility of him showering anyone with insults and sarcasm is at an all time high.

Why he's surrounded by three enraged tikbalangs after he made their big brother Lakas cry when he won against him on a fight is something Maliksi will definitely brag in this lifetime- if he survives, that is.

He's already exhausted after fighting with the older tikbalang, and now the three younger brothers are trying to make him pay. Maliksi isn't completely unscathed from the previous fight either. His chance of winning 1 vs 3 is definitely low and the odds won't be on his side this time.

Maliksi thinks of a possible way out of this mess he created when lightning struck not too far away, illuminating the forestscape for a few seconds before it was followed by a loud crakle of thunder. Rain started pouring and it's not just normal rain- it was strong, violent in a sense that Maliksi's felt a slight prickle with how heavy the water droplets are falling against his skin.

The three tikbalang approached him, cornering him at the edge of a downhill stream when he felt someone approach him from the back, covering both of his ears tightly.

Agwa who is currently on her naga form slithered her serpent tail slightly around Maliksi as if to shield him against the three, and to make sure he stays in place incase he gets affected by the naga's enchantment. "Get in the water." Agwa said, not louder than a whisper, but her tone is clearly not hiding a threat, her scarlet eyes glowing a fiery tint of red as she snapped her gaze towards the three tikbalangs.

The tikbalangs, slowly falling into the naga's enchantment and entering a trance all started to turn their heads into the stream. The tide is starting to rise and the current was turning faster and stronger by each second that passes.

"C'mon, boys. Get. in. the, water." She repeated and before she knew it, the three were already walking straight into the middle of the stream.

Agwa then let her rains fall down like fury unleashed into the three. It took less than a minute before the three are almost drowning- that's when Agwa completely stopped her torment, making the rain cease and the stream's current to steady. The three tikbalangs quickly grabbed the chance to narrowly escape their dreaded fate.

As the rain stopped, Agwa gently pulled her hands away from covering Maliksi's ears and gave him space, slithering slightly away from the tamawo.

"You okay, Makisig's lil brother?" Agwa smirked, her tone smug and taunting, much like Maliksi's usual attitude.

Maliksi, being around someone with the same brash and rude attitude like his irked him into oblivion that he even started pitying those he annoys on the regular.

Yet he wonders why exactly he's currently speechless right now, heart pounding out of his chest from when he witnessed this hauntingly beautiful naga command three strong creatures into their almost death without any effort. How she stood there without any remorse or mercy, yet looking that irresistible while threats that are definitely not empty rolled along her tongue as if it's poetry to drown men unforgivingly.

Oh. Hell naw.

I'll be damned.

It was another first for Maliksi. How can he describe someone else aside from his kuya with such adjectives is something that bothered him to the core.

Irresistible.

That might be the first and only time he had used that term to describe a woman but he'll never admit it out loud.

Art by: @ask-emilz-de-philz thankyouuu for my Agwa ;;;;; ((hngg. I can def relate kay bibilo coz those thighs))

[that-1d-blogger]

PART 2

To read part 1 click here

Plot - Zayn and Zuri have been in love for 6 years and plan on a romantic date to celebrate their anniversary. Tragedy strikes when they get into a car accident , where Zayn loses his memories of her . Little do they know amnesia is not the only thing they should be worried about as there’s another problem around the corner, will they be able to deal through this together or would it be too late ?

----------------

Zayn Malik as Zayn Malik

Yara Shahidi as Zuri Simmons

The steady beeping of the heart monitor was the first sound Zayn became aware of as he slowly drifted back into consciousness. His eyelids felt heavy as he struggled to pry them open against the harsh fluorescent lights assaulting his sensitive eyes. Where was he?

As his blurry vision began to clear, he could make out the stark whiteness of the room, the antiseptic smell assaulting his nostrils. A hospital room, he realized. But why was he here? The last thing he remembered was...nothing. His mind was completely blank.

A slight movement in his peripheral vision caught his attention, and he turned his head to see a young woman sitting beside the bed, her face etched with worry but her eyes shining with tears of relief. She had caramel skin and long dark hair pulled back in a messy bun, dressed casually in jeans and a t-shirt. Who was she?

"Zayn?" she whispered, reaching out to take his hand. "Oh thank god, you're awake! I was so worried..."

He flinched involuntarily at her touch, pulling his hand back. "Who are you?"

The smile froze on her face, her brow furrowing in confusion. "What? Zayn, it's me, Zuri...your girlfriend?"

Girlfriend? Zayn felt his heart rate kick up a notch as panic set in. He had no recollection of this woman at all. What the hell was going on?

"I...I don't know you," he stammered, shaking his head. "Where am I? What happened?"

The woman - Zuri - opened her mouth to respond, but before she could get a word out, the door burst open and an older man and woman rushed in, their faces a mirror of relief and joy.

"Zayn! You're awake!" the woman cried, tears streaming down her cheeks as she hurried to his bedside and pulled him into a fierce hug. 

As she embraced him, flashes of recognition sparked in Zayn's mind. This scent, this warmth...it was so familiar. "Mom?"

"Oh, my baby boy," his mother murmured, rocking him gently. "We were so worried we were going to lose you." 

The man stepped forward, clasping Zayn's shoulder with a shaky hand. "Son, you had us scared to death. How are you feeling?"

"Dad?" Zayn whispered, panic slowly giving way to bewilderment as the faces of his parents triggered buried memories. At least he knew who they were. More pieces were falling into place - their names, growing up, fragments of his life. But there was still so much he couldn't recall, like why he was in the hospital in the first place.

His brow furrowed as he studied her lovely features, struggling to find even a shred of familiarity as he looked at Zuri . "I'm sorry, I really don't know who you are," he said carefully. "What's going on? Why can't I remember?"

The room fell deathly silent as his parents and Zuri exchanged stricken looks. Zayn felt a cold knot of dread forming in the pit of his stomach. Something was very, very wrong.

A few moments later, the doctor strode briskly into the room, his face impassive and professional. "Ah, Mr. Malik, I see you've rejoined us," he remarked, barely glancing up from the chart in his hands as he crossed to the end of the bed. "How are you feeling?"

"Confused. Scared," Zayn admitted hoarsely. "I can't...I can't remember what happened, or why I'm here. And I don't know this woman," he added, gesturing helplessly toward Zuri.

The doctor's mouth set in a grim line as he met Zayn's desperate gaze. "I was afraid this might happen," he said with a resigned sigh, setting the chart aside. "Mr. Malik, you were in a very serious car accident several days ago. You sustained a severe traumatic brain injury that left you in a coma."

Zayn felt the blood drain from his face as realization set in. A coma...that would certainly explain the memory loss, the gaps, the darkness clouding everything before this moment. "How long was I out?"

"Almost 3 days ," the doctor replied solemnly. "During which time your brain endured significant trauma. I'm afraid you are suffering from dissociative amnesia."

"Amnesia?" Zayn repeated numbly, his heart plummeting into his stomach. The word alone filled him with cold, suffocating dread. 

This had to be some kind of horrible nightmare. He looked pleadingly between his parents and the doctor, silently begging them to take it back, to tell him this wasn't real. But their somber expressions confirmed his worst fears.

His gaze landed on Zuri once more. She was crying openly now, tears streaming down her beautiful face as her shoulders shook with quiet sobs. Pain and guilt lanced through him - clearly she meant a great deal to him, whether he could remember her or not. How could he have forgotten someone who so obviously loved him?

“Zuri I’m so sorry.” He says , feeling guilty for not remembering her

She lifted her head, offering him a brave, watery smile as she reached for his hand again. "It's okay," she said softly. "We'll get through this."

He pulled his hand away reflexively, a hardness settling over his features. "I don't know you, sorry I don’t comfortable with touches.”

Hurt flashed across Zuri's face, her lips parting in a silent cry of anguish. But before she could respond, the doctor continued grimly.

"There is...one more concerning development," he said, folding his hands on the metal footboard. "In addition to the head trauma, it appears the accident caused significant hepatic injury. Your liver has sustained enough damage that it is beginning to fail.

Zayn's head whipped around, his breath catching in his throat as the gravity of the doctor's words slammed into him. "What...what are you saying?" he rasped.

"I'm saying you are going to require an orthotopic liver transplant, Mr. Malik," the doctor stated, his expression grave. "And I need to warn you right now...there is an extreme shortage of viable donors at the moment due to the growing hepatitis C epidemic. Finding a suitable match for you in time is going to be extremely difficult."

His mother dissolved into heartbroken sobs as his father held her close, his own eyes shining with unshed tears. Zuri was staring at the doctor in abject horror, all the color drained from her face. 

"No...no, this can't be," she pleaded, her voice rising in panic. "There has to be something you can do, some way to get him a new liver before it's too late! You can't just let him die!"

"I assure you, we are going to do everything possible to try and find Mr. Malik a donor liver before complete hepatic failure occurs," the doctor said evenly. "But you all need to be prepared that...it may not happen in time. The situation is extremely grave."

A ringing silence swallowed his words as Zayn struggled to process this devastating new prognosis along with the amnesia bombshell. The anger, the bitterness, the injustice of it all burned through him like a raging wildfire.

"This is unbelievable," he bit out through clenched teeth, fists clenching in the thin hospital sheets. "I wake up from a coma with no memory, only to find out I'm dying of liver failure anyway? What kind of sick cosmic joke is this?"

The doctor's grim words seemed to echo endlessly in the tense silence that fell over the room. Zayn felt like he was trapped in some nightmarish netherworld, the walls closing in around him as the weight of his dire situation threatened to crush him utterly.

Dissociative amnesia...liver failure requiring transplant...shortage of donors...it was all too much, too devastating to process. How could his mind and body betray him so completely?

His mother was openly weeping in his father's arms, their anguished faces swimming in his blurred vision. And Zuri...brave, beautiful Zuri was staring at him with such naked vulnerability, her dark eyes glistening with unshed tears.

"Zayn..." she began brokenly. "I know this is...beyond anything you could have imagined waking up to. But please, you have to believe that we're all going to do whatever it takes to get you through this. I'm not giving up on you."

Her quiet vow of determination snapped the tenuous thread Zayn had been clinging to. White-hot anger and fear rushed through his veins like lava as everything became crystallized in chilling focus.

"How can you say that?" he rasped, his body tense with restrained fury. "After everything the doctor just said? You heard him - there's basically no chance of me getting a new liver in time before the old one fails completely. I'm as good as dead, Zuri!"

"Don't you dare talk like that!" she cried fiercely, leaning forward in her chair until her face was mere inches from his. "Don't you give up on me, Zayn Malik, because I'm sure as hell not giving up on you!"

"Why?" he shouted hoarsely, all of his pent-up anguish and frustration erupting in a massive rush. "Why should you fight so hard for someone who doesn't even know who the hell you are anymore? Thanks to this bloody amnesia, you're just a stranger to me now!"

Zuri rocked back slightly at the bitterness lashing his tone, hurt flickering across her features. When she spoke, her voice was barely above a pained whisper. "You're right...to you, I'm nobody now. Just some woman who's been glued to your bedside around the clock, hoping against hope that you'll remember the love we shared, the life we built together over the past six years."

Six years...Zayn felt his heart clench painfully as the gravity of her statement slammed into him. Six years of history, memories, intimacies...of a love so profound it should have been ingrained into every molecule of his being. Yet thanks to his traitorous brain, it was all gone, erased like it never even existed.

"You think I wanted this?" he choked out, hot tears of anguish and rage burning in his eyes. "To wake up feeling like a complete stranger in my own body, surrounded by people I'm supposed to know and love but can't even place? It's my own personal hell, Zuri!"

"Then let me in!" she pleaded, rising from her chair to grip the metal bedrail with trembling hands. "Let me help you find your way back to me, to us! These memories don't have to stay buried if you'll just let me..."

"No." Zayn's harsh refusal cut her off like a knife. His jaw hardened, every muscle in his body tensed with rigid determination as he met her stricken gaze steadily. "I can't keep torturing myself trying to force something that isn't there anymore. Maybe it's better this way..."

"Better?" Zuri repeated faintly, blanching as if he'd physically struck her. "Zayn, what are you saying?"

He swallowed hard, bracing himself against the onslaught of protest he knew was coming as the words he'd been tormenting himself with finally spilled over.

"I'm saying...I want you to go, Zuri," he stated in a low, defeated tone. "Just go and don't come back. Not now, not after I get the transplant...not ever again."

"No!" The visceral cry ripped from her throat as Zuri jerked back violently, clutching her hands to her chest. "No, you don't mean that, Zayn! We can fight this, I know we..."

"Stop!" Zayn's roar obliterated her pleading instantly, his eyes blazing with fathomless torment. "Just stop, okay? I get that you think you're doing what's best for me, trying to get my memories back or whatever. But making yourself a constant reminder of what I'll never get back, torturing us both in the process? That's not helping me, Zuri...that's just selfish."

The sledgehammer weight of those final three words settled over the room in a thick, suffocating blanket. Zuri's mouth worked soundlessly, her eyes glistening with a fresh sheen of tears as she struggled to find the words to defend herself against such a brutal charge.

But Zayn pressed on relentlessly, already having opened a vein he couldn't stop bleeding.

"If I'm being honest? If this...if this liver thing doesn't work out?" He shook his head slowly, feeling the fight drain out of him as he sank back against the pillows in utter exhaustion. "I wouldn't want some ghost hanging around, waiting for me to magically remember a life I can't access anyway. I'd rather go into whatever's next without that emotional baggage weighing me down."

For several endless heartbeats, silence swallowed them whole in the wake of his quiet pronouncement. Then, with a harsh, guttural sob, Zuri stumbled back from the bed, shaking her head vehemently.

She laughed mirthlessly, swiping at the tears streaming down her cheeks with harsh, angry swipes of her fingers.

"So congratulations...you got your wish," she whispered, piercing him with one final haunted look before blindly turning on her heel and walking out of the room, leaving a cold, gaping void of silence and anguish in her wake.

As the door swung shut behind her with a hollow thud of finality, Zayn crumpled against the starched hospital linens, dissolving into gut-wrenching sobs of his own. He had handled everything so badly, lashing out cruelly at her when all she had wanted was to help guide him back toward the light.

But it was too late now. The damage had been done, and no matter what his tumultuous heart might desire...Zayn knew he had just let his soulmate walk out of his life forever.

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Third and final part

If u like this, check out my work here

[bi-lavelent]

Brie Larson x fem-reader part 1

warning: contains mentions to sex and mentions of mental health. Contains mentions to murder and killing. Contains mentions to pedophillia.

Brie will not be in the chapter it is just the start. I hope you enjoy

Chapter 1 Childhood Trauma

"Mothers, everyone has one, Every girl needs them, Every man wants them, Every baby cries for them, Every human praises them." - Y/N Y/L/N

My life starts simple; While At Least I thought. You see the story I was told growing up was. My gorgeous, beautiful, Intelligent Mom met  my Handsome, Funny Dad and fell in love. They got married and then they  had me. It was the Exact American Dream, It wasn’t Gatsby and Daisy. My Dad and I were best friends. They Made me realize who I would want to marry. We were always going to be that perfect little family. Although that’s where the happiness ends. The rest isn’t  good, though how much stuff do you think can happen in 9 months? less than a year you're probably thinking not that much. Well trust me a lot can happen, my mom did everything a person could do to ruin my life before it even started. But for you to be able to know that part of the story you will need to wait till I'm older, like I did. 

Born into a Christian and Catholic family, and when I say that I mean it my dad was the youth group pastor and my mom was well she said she was catholic that should have been my first signal. That all being said, I was raised to have pride in my family and to love god. I met my childhood best friend at church. Her name was  Ezra Lee. She was named after a colonial Soldier from the 1800s. He was supposedly related to her. The first memory I have is of me and her playing in a sandbox 

. . . . .

"Hey, I have to go to the bathroom." I said to my best friend Ezra Lee  

"Okay I'll wait here." She said back to me

. . . . .

Looking back at this event makes me look at how simple our lives were, You see we thought that we would always get to have this perfect life and in a way her stayed okay or atleast better than mine. I ran into her a few years ago. She was in New York for New years and she had stopped at an ice cream shop in time square. I'm still not sure if I was happy to see her have the life. We both always dreamed about. We had promised each other that we would set each other on blind dates were we would meet our husbands and we would be the others kids' Aunt. But given that was back when I thought I was gonna marry men we were clearly wrong because now I’m writing this while my wife is sitting on the couch watching a romcom. I guess things never go according to plan anyway. Back to the past I realize How happy we were. How innocent  we were. It also makes me question why I didn't realize what was happening around me. It should have been obvious to me but I guess that when you're a kid you're oblivious of what happens around you. I mean it was normal for our  parents to leave their kids in their backyard alone at the age four but then again we were kids and this was normal to us. I have very few memories of being a happy child but I do remember this next fairly clearly. Because it has affected the rest of my life. You see in Colorado I was told by my mom that the normal age to lose your Virginity is 6. So the next part isn’t really going to affect a lot of my life but at the same time it has everything to do with the family I’ve built for myself. 

At a young age I did not only have feelings for the boys at my school but also the girls being a christian I thought that this was wrong. It might be that as an adult it's still hard to tell what's true and what's not but this one thing as a child had a big influence on my life. I remember being five and dating this girl back then dating was more like being best friends. When you're a kid you make a lot of mistakes; But I never thought that I would make this one. As a Preschooler and Elementary student I was considered a bit of a player, and to be honest my friends and my partner still think I am. I would chase the boys around and tackle them and kiss them I would pay them to date me; and like every player I cheated.I was at five and at spring break camp and went behind this boy that i still had a crush on named Christopher to get a crayon to color with, and I saw an opportunity my mind raced back in forth between his back and my lips, Back, lips, Back, lips. This was my opportunity so i sized the moment and  leaned down and kissed him. This was the end of everything. 

I was  popular or so I though you see I didn’t relize that people only liked me because they were scared of me, not because people liked me.blooming back I would have been scared of me too I was a lost kid who didn’t understand how to deal with emotions. Not only that but I had ADHD and Autism you see people love me because I’m diffrent now. But kids are scared of they don’t understand. You see I was like “Young Sheldon.” But my parents didn’t want me to be but you see she liked me she made an exception.she accepted me as an equal not someone to be feared atleast that was until I fucked up. You see she was the one for me the one that I had just messed everything up with. The day that we went back to school everyone in every grade was talking about what I had done. I didn't realize what I had done wrong (I mean it was a elementary relationship those don’t even count right; well apparently they started to count somewhere along the line. But I should also let you know that most pepole in Colorado lose there V card bettween the ages of 5-9  I didn’t no matter who I liked. I’m old fashioned I wanted to wait till marriage. That didn’t end up happening but once you have it with the person who you marry it’s not the same. You feel a spark of deepest emotions and regrets finally being released.) until I saw her and I felt this pit in my stomach grow. 

I walked up to her but kept staring at the ground and said "hay" 

she didn't not respond 

I started to say what I wanted to say and then the bell rang so I said to her, "I'll see you at recess. I want to discuss this."

I made it through the rest of my day with my head down until recess when I got outside I ran up to her smiling. We started to walk around and then I said, "we need some privacy to talk about this." so we moved to where no one could hear us.

She said, "Why did you do it?"

I responded looking down at the ground and kicking the dirt with my feet, "I don't know June."

June responded to me by saying, "Was it a dare?"

A part of me wanted to lie to her and say yes but the mature side of me developed and came out and said,"No."

She responded, "Why did you do it then?"

"I don't know but trust me there's not a bone in my body that doesn't want to take it back and doesn't regret doing it." I said as A tear fell down my face i quickly got rid of it in hopes that she wouldn't see it 

She told me, "How can I trust you when you cheated on me." ( by the way the only thing that I did was leaned over and kissed this kid on his back)

"I don't know what i was thinking." I said I took a pause to catch my breath so that I wouldn't cry and finished by saying,"I don't know if we can have the same level of trust but I will try every day for you to forgive me as long as it takes."

She stood up and Said "I don't think it will be i don't think i can trust you ever again."

"I love you." I said looking straight into her eyes making sure we both were making eye contact. ( I didnt love her because at this point in time I don’t know what love was. My  gorgeous family is across the room; As i wright  this and I don’t fell the same about her as I do about them. But at that point in time I thought I loved her things changed)

"And I hate you." she replied

I just stood there not knowing what to say. I wish I had said something because it might have saved me from these next words but then again I don't think anything could have as the two words I never wanted to come out of someone I loved mouth.

she said, "were over."

My world went dark I ran away crying and that pit didn't leave for a long time neither did the me not smiling and me not laughing and me not being happy it all went away for a very long time. So did the popularity the same day as everyone saw me being vulnerable and weak. I lost it all. Yet did I know that this was just the start of My Trauma as a child. This day ended everything good going for me or so I thought. You see for a long time I thought that no one else would care. But little did I know that there was someone having a normal life in Sacramento California. You see I was 8 when this happens which means she was 6 and attending the American Conservatory Theater which is located in San Francisco. See it’s weird saying all this because we have an 8 year old and a 6 year old right now and I just am so happy that there lives will be diffrent then ours. Anyway The next thing I know I was in the principal's office everyday. I remember one day Threatening to kill a kid and I was down in the office when the principal walked in. 

"Hello Jefferson," I said

"Hello Y/N," He replied 

"Can we just get this over with," I snarkly replied

"There are some people here to talk with you." He said in stern voice

I looked behind him expecting to see my parents but what I saw wasn't that It was two police officers. One started talking to me.

"Hello Mrs.?" one of them asked

"Y/L/N" I said

"Well Mrs.Y/L/N Im John. Will you come with us please," He asked

"Why?" I said standing up

"Hay SIT." He yelled as he pointed a tazer at me 

"Your not the boss of me." I said

Everything went fuzzy and black The next thing I knew I was getting taken out of the school in handcuffs and being put in the back of a cop car. It turned out they thought it wasn’t John though it was an officer who got fired shortly there after. I went to the station and waited at the station until they called my mom. I could hear the call. 

John asked,"Hello is this Mrs.Y/N/L ?"

My mom replied, " Yes, who's this?"

"This is officer john," He said well smiling at me

"What you want officer," My mom said 

"Well I have your daughter here, we need you to come pick her up." John said

"Yah no That's not gonna happen." My mom said and hung up.

I was seven and this isn't even the worst of it. I Stayed in that jail cell till anyone in my family would pick me up. Sadly no one ever did it was 1 year and 9 months until I saw my mother again but she wasnt there for me she was being arrested herself. They didn’t really have room for me in the officer area but I made that cell my home. I just don’t know how permanent it would become. 

I chuckled in my head and said in my head "that's where I got it." 

She had been there for a few days to get clean. The officers John, Peter, Liam, Roy, Rodger, Rodney, Zack, Kyle, Steve and Tony all treated me like family, not like a prisoner but like one of them. I remember Liam coming over to my cell and sitting down to play cards with me.  Well playing he told why my mom was there how she got caught high and selling drugs, how she was already wanted for being a sexual predator. Do you think this is enough trauma yet? Yah I would have too if i were you, but my life had other plans. They found my father 2 months later. He and my mother had split once she had started getting into drugs and when he found out that she was a sexual predator. We Were happy for 2 years. When he started drinking I was 10. When he started drinking he drank so much that some nights he wouldnt even be home when I would wake up. He would abuse me and I didnt know what to do. So one day I went to the police station and ran straight into peter. 

"Hello peter," I said

"Hay chipmunk. why are you here?" He said

Them  he looked at me and saw the bruises they kept me there until they arrested my dad for abuse. They gave me 2 options. I could change my identity and become a foster kid or I could live with my grandparents. I said i wanted to live with my grandparents and they drove me their  and gave my stuff to my grandparents thats were I lived until College. It was 1 year later I was 11 and I had to make a family tree i kept bugging my grandparents to tell me about my family but they just would ignore it. 

Until  one day my grandma set me down and said "do you really wanna know about your family," 

See I mean I really didn’t need to know because the assignment was done already as this was 9 months later. Which they used to keep me knowing because everything I mentioned happened in 9 months and a little bit before than.

I replied "yes"

"Okay sit down Me and your grandpa met in college and fell in love. your mom met your dad's brother and his friends in highschool, and your mom is a bit of a psychopath. You see she killed them, she stabbed most of them and burnt a couple alive. With the help of your father's ex wife. Who I think you know because she was your childhood best friend's mother .  Your father and your mother met in college in therapy. Your father for the death of his brother and Your Mother for mental help. They started dating, got married and got pregnant with you. The first four months she slept with your fathers ex wife.  You see your father and her got married Junior year of high school and were only married for only two years. Your father did not know they murdered a bunch of people in those 4 months about 43 people to be percisis they broke up to hide from the cops they got plastic surgery to not look the same so that the

 cops wouldn't find them. They weren’t that’s smart of people your mom never had been but the only time she was smart was when her sisters pet died or when she was getting in trouble you see she was always in the principal's office. ( wow just like me) After they broke up Your mother started hooking up with your fathers father, your grandfather your mother killed, your fathers mother your grandmother. Your mother slept with a highschooler 14 years old that kid was. The next was 17, then 12, then 9, then 10, then 5, then 4, then a 15 year old. She  wrote in journals that she couldn’t stop because they always made her fell so good. (I still question if this is why she kept on touching my legs when we were laying together.She always wanted me to sleep next to her. Another thing that only the cops knew for a while I find it hard to talk about is that my dad told my mom to go into the bedroom so they could do stuff she grabbed me and said can she come too.My dad stopped her and said no.) but she  kept those kids  in the basement of a house only she and no one else knew she owned .  Well she was still with your grandfather. your grandfather and her used to do drugs ( later on I also I found out that they would drug my dad and do drugs of off him and have sex on top of him while he was drugged.)in his son's house well he was at work at this time your mother had been pregnant with you 7 months. She stabbed your grandfather well sleeping  next to him. Blew up the house with the kids in it and then once your father found out she was doing drugs he checked her into a hospital to get her clean and make sure you were okay. they stayed married tell you were 1 to make sure she wouldn't do drugs during this one year he caught her cheating on him with the man you called dad for the rest of your life and divorced her your mother set her ex girlfriend up with your father they had your sister also and named her Ezra if I’m right she way your  best friend thats why they were always over there your dad divorced her when she cheated out him with your mother and the man you called your father. So did you really wanna know your family history?" she  asked me

" how do you know all of this," I asked

she pulled out a bunch of journals and diaries "because your mom wrote everything down."

When I said trauma I ment trauma. This drove something deep down in my core. You see I had always wanted to be a cop to give families the justice that they needed so I headed to the police satiation and ran into Johnson arms crying I could breathe I finally told him everything and . I showed them all the journals I stayed there for the night. The next day we went to the location where my mom had hid all the bodys that stupid bitch kept track of everything. My dog is even better at hiding his bones in our bed. Although I  was praying that they didn't find anybody, once we started finding bodies we never stopped finding the bodies there were too many too count. It guess she hadn’t stopped after I was born. I looked down in shock Crying. I walked up to John. 

I didn't know what to say but I said Cryinging " I want a normal life again. Everyones gonna look at me diffrent. I know that can't happen now but i'm willing to prove against my mom wrong. I feel bad for all these families but I want to do something normal.". 

John and I had a talk along with my grandparents and we decided that it would be better to have me be homeschooled. So that the bully wouldn’t get to me. It didn’t but I still struggled. I would go to the local store and people wouldn’t sell stuff to me. I was outside playing in the street and a car pulled up. It was the parents of the kids they had come to yell at me. They said I shouldn’t deserve to be alive and that they should look both me and my mom up. My grandfather came out and stopped him.

John wanted me too atleast stay near kids and I said theater actually what happened was. 

"Like what?" John said 

"I know i can't go to school yet because they don’t trust me and that i need to be acclimated into normall that’s why im doing homeschool but maybe( I looked down a saw a poster for a theater production at a highschool for Chicago there was a hot girl on the front wearing only a bra and pants.) i could start with doing theater." I said (hopping there would be hot pepole)

That's when this career choice started. That's when I made the first decision that I can remember. I arrived there that morning as a 12 year old left feeling like a 30 year old; With back issues needing a back massage and foot rub but that was all after my moms went to court

if you would like more just comment pls or like

[genshinemblem564]

Chapter 1: Summoner's Woes

In this you have come to a (potentially) devastating realization

TW: separation from loved ones, self blame

_______________________________________________

You gazed into the mirror with an anxious expression on your face as you kept running your hands through your hair, suddenly a knock is heard from your bedroom door.

(Y/N): Who is it?

Alfonse: It's Sharena and Alfonse, may we come in?

(Y/N): Y-Yeah.

Your door creeks open and the two royals come inside.

Sharena: Hello. What are you up to?

(Y/N): Nothing much just... trimming my hair.

The young princess couldn't help but notice you speak with a tone of sadness.

Alfonse: You've been in here for some time, far longer than reasonably needed to simply "trim hair". What's really happening?

(Y/N): N-Nothing.

Sharena: (Y/N), I can tell by your tone that you're upset, please tell us why.

You look the two of them in the eyes then take a deep breath.

(Y/N): It started when I summoned Alfred, I was all happy we made a new friend, but then he mentioned his flower crown not wilting and I began to notice other things about the other heroes, it all boils down to none of them aging in Askr and time stopping in their worlds while they are here, but I continue to grow, my hair gets longer and longer.

As you are listing these things Alfonse chimes in.

Alfonse: So, what's the point?

(Y/N): I've lost the connection to my world.

The two gasp in shock

Sharena: So you're homesick.

(Y/N): No, if I ever wanted to experience my world again, I can just visit Tokyo with Itsuki, our worlds are so similar you can't tell the difference just by looking, but I can never see her again.

Sharena & Alfonse: Her?

(Y/N): My sister, she was the only one in that world that helped me through the pain, my parents cared about me but were too busy with work to notice anything. She always listened to my problems and let me get it all out and I let her do the same, and now I'm not there for her anymore, no one is there to help her heal after a bad day, I.. I.

Tears were starting to form blurring your vision

(Y/N): I LEFT HER BEHIND, SHE'S LIKELY GOING THROUGH HELL BECAUSE I LEFT HER.

Alfonse's eyes went wide in shock while Sharena simply covered her mouth whilst holding back tears of her own.

(Y/N): We helped each other through our hardest times and now I'll... I'll (gasp)

Sharena quickly and without warning wrapped her arms around you while Alfonse sat next to you leaning on your shoulder.

Alfonse: You're not to blame for this, no one is,. If we had a choice in who we summoned, it would most likely have been one of your military, we never would have met.

Sharena: I know how deeply you care for everyone, losing your sister must be difficult. Please, cry as much as you need neither of us will judge you for it.

At this point you can't hold the tears in any longer as you start bawling. Once your tears are dried the two nobles leave.

Alfonse: Goodnight Summoner.

Sharena: Please don't hesitate to let us know if you need someone to talk to, there are so many people who care about you, so if Alfonse and I are busy, I know one of the heroes will lend an ear.

You simply nod and let them be on their way. You turn back towards the mirror to finish trimming your hair when you notice your phone is on.

(Y/N): That's weird, I always turn it off whenever the others are around, so why is it...

Before you can finish your query, you notice a certain app begins to emit a golden glow. Which app?

(Y/N): Genshin Impact.

You sit and ponder a moment.

(Y/N): Why is it glowing like that?

Curiosity gets the better of you and you tap the icon. Suddenly a blinding light emits from your phone, just like before, however unlike before, this light encompasses the entirety of Zenith. Suddenly the light fades just as suddenly as it appeared.

(Y/N): What was that?

_______________________________________________

Notes:as you can see I used a different writing style for this one, I'm experimenting to see which one I'm most comfortable with. Anyways I hope you enjoyed this rather angsty chapter in my crossover series.

[fadedstarsfms]

Task #1: Future Goals

maia

family - one of main things I would love for Maia is exploring her relationship with how she views her family. I want to play out getting to know her dad and her half sister through her dad (please someone fill that wc I'd give you so many plots)

not running - Maia has never stayed in one place for long and I really want her to feel like Denver could be her home and like having her learn how to be normal and not instantly think of how she can fuck over someone the moment she first meets them?

work - this is kind of two fold. first I want her to understand that the shit she did in the past was wrong and she has hurt people - and while that wasn't okay she can try to do better and try to make amends. I also want her to get a normal job, as much as she loves her job and really has no desire to stop any time soon she has to learn how to be a person and just not go looking for the next thing to score money.

relationships - both romantic and platonic. Maia feels like she has never been loved for herself and truly I want her to feel comfortable with people because even she doesn't even know what she's actually like, she's always wanting to be who she thinks the other person wants. so ultimately I just want her to trust and love unconditionally and be loved because dammit this girl needs it.

daniel

family - I would absolutely loveeee for all his siblings to be in play and just have him learn how to be more of a brother than a parent to them. this poor man has had so much on his shoulders for so long he needs to be his own person

self - very similar to the previous but honestly just him being comfortable with himself, I feel like he's always trying to be around someone else and take care of them. but bud have you ever thought about taking care of yourself????

relationships - again both romantic and platonic. it's that classic shameless line of "you take care of everyone else but who takes care of you?" he needs to learn how to lean on others and not hide what he's feeling/going through

ripley

work/self - this girl is so fucking immature sometimes but I need her to realize that like when she puts her mind to something she really does have a passion for a lot of things. obviously she doesn't want to work at the movie theater forever but that doesn't mean she doesn't have to give up what she loves. honestly she just needs to grow up (respectfully)

relationships - like 70% romantic and 30% platonic, honestly works best for romantic but she really needs this for platonic too ngl. she needs to start thinking more about others and actually putting them first before her own. I feel like this will help Ripley grow up and start thinking about her future in general and what she should be doing with her life

family - Ripley so badly wants to know what it's like to be a sibling with Atlas. she feels like if she goes all out he'll be forced to talk to her but she needs to learn there's a way to want a relationship without being annoying to him. also Ripley needs to come to terms that while she was able to have their mother there's complicated feelings now for everyone because the truth is out

bianca

relationships - honestly mostly romantic. Bianca probably hasn't really had a super serious romantic relationship since she got left at the alter when she was super young. between taking care of her kid and in general losing her belief in love she's honestly scared to jump back in. but it would be fun to see it take her by surprise

past - I really need to put in a wc for both her child and the ex that left her at the alter tbh (so if you're reading this far consider me asking nicely). but I think it would be fun to especially have them both in play. I've always pictured that he hasn't had contact so probably doesn't even know about their child (who would be like 21-25 ish now) and truly just think of the drama that could come from that

self - honestly I feel like Bianca hasn't really been herself since she was younger, always just focusing on her family. so I think it would be interesting for her to slowly start getting back to it since now her child is an adult and she can't use them as an excuse anymore

[werewolfoverlord12]

Supplement 1: Jazal Goldmane II

@yellingaboutmasseffect (it's fluffy.)

Jazal Goldmane II.

He hated that name some days.

From his father's stories, his late uncle was paragon of leadership and virtue. Something to strictly adhere and aspire too.

At least, that's what he used to think growing up...

Jazal had turned thirteen two months before, and after seeing another Leonin Hunter use a bow and arrow, had asked his parents for lessons.

Brimaz, a friend of his father's, brought two of his best archers to teach Jazal. His teachers were as different as night and day; neither were soft spoken, but he'd only really listened to the older one.

The younger Oreskos was brash, loud and ill tempered. She shouted when Jazal made an error and set the boy on edge at the simplest mistake. The older of the two, pale furred and deeply scarred, had sent the brash one away within two minutes of seeing how Jazal held a bow. He'd been patient, thorough, and helped keep the still learning Jazal on task.

After the lessons, Brimaz was left alone with the young lion.

"You're learning quickly. I'm impressed." he said.

Jazal grunted and drew back the string, arrow positioned just in front. He focused his attention on the red circle in the center of the target and fired; bullseye.

Once he'd learned how to aim and fire, he hadn't missed a single stationary target. And yet...

"Sir..."

"Brimaz please. I may be a king elsewhere, but here, I am just a family friend."

"Brimaz... can we keep this conversation between us please?"

The Oreskos looked visibly uncomfortable for a moment, "Depending on what transpires, i might have to share this with your parents... but i can keep a secret if that's what your asking."

"Fair enough...Did you ever meet my uncle?"

Brimaz shook his head, "He died many years before I knew your father. But he was a good man, from how your father speaks."

Jazal grunted again, "... Have you named any of your children after yourself or a relative you admire?"

"Not yet... why do you ask?"

Jazal pinned another target dead center, "I'd advise against it."

"... This sounds like something you speak with your father about." Brimaz said.

"...He wouldn't understand. And besides... he has enough to worry about as is. Why break his heart too?" Jazal landed a second, third, fourth arrow in a matter of minutes.

"You know..."

Jazal immediately spun around to see his father sitting beside Brimaz, each holding a glass of cold water; the sky diamond eye didn't leave Jazal's face.

"...keeping things from others is like ignoring a wound that's been infected. Sure, it might get better... or it might fester and you end up losing a limb. Even if it hurts, sometimes its better to let someone know what's wrong." Ajani said.

Brimaz waved him over and handed him his own glass, "Your mother was worried about you under the sun. She wanted to turn it down, but i said i wanted to start off easy. Full sunlight, behind you so you can see your target clearly."

Jazal had carefully set his bow and quiver down and set between the two males. For a long time, he said nothing; unsure of what his father would say, what someone his father trusted would suggest, if he'd be yelled at for the first time by his parents.

"I..." he began, and felt hot tears gather in his eyes, "... I want a different name. I don't want Jazal."

"Why?" Ajani asked, taken aback.

"I can't live up it. There's so much pressure just to be equals with him. I can't take it anymore!" Jazal said.

Brimaz burst out laughing which caused both Jazal and his father to look at him, "Is that all? Boy my grandfather was named Brimaz, too. He was a good man but there's a reason his queen was granted the title of Kha. He was a lousy leader."

"He was?" Jazal asked.

"Yes! I wanted to be a good leader but was afraid to overshadow him. You know what he said to me? 'Do so. Your name is not a demand or weight on your shoulders. It's an honor, to keep a blessed memory alive. But it's not the only reason; whether you surpass me or not, matters little. I will always be me, and you will always be you. Don't compare yourself to a ghost, when the ghost wouldn't want you to, either.'" Brimaz said.

Jazal glanced at his father, "...is it be okay if... if I'm not like your brother?"

"My brother was a good man first, a great leader second. I want people to respect you because your heart is big, and you are kind to everyone you meet, even those who look different than you." Ajani said, hugging his son, "I don't want you to be my brother. He sent Brimaz to help fill that role. I will be proud of you no matter what, and it's because i love you i gave you his name. To help you reach whatever places you wish to."

Jazal held onto his father tightly as tears finally rolled down his face, "I'm sorry, Dad."

Ajani chuckled, "Don't ever be sorry about telling me the truth. What made you not want to tell me?"

"Your stories about him. i know you never said i needed to be like him but... it felt that way."

Ajani sighed, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel like that; i just miss my brother. Just remember, those stories aren't comparing you and him; it's my way to keep his memory alive, okay?"

jazal nodded, "You might have to remind me a couple times."

Ajani smiled, "I will do my best, but you might have to remind me a couple times, too."

[jedi-enthusiast]

@ladystonedwolf yeah, that’s complete bullshit---so let's debunk it.

First of all, this is what the Council actually says to Anakin in regards to his feelings:

Yoda: How feel you? Anakin: Cold, sir. Yoda: Afraid, are you? Anakin: No, sir. Yoda: See through you, we can. Mace: Be mindful of your feelings. Ki-Adi: Your thoughts dwell on your mother. Anakin: I miss her. Yoda: Afraid to lose her, I think. Anakin: What has that got to do with anything? Yoda: Everything. Fear is the path to the Dark Side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering. I sense much fear in you.

The only thing they say about Anakin missing his mother is that they can sense that he misses her. What they focus on, and what they're warning him about, is his fear---because that's what this whole scene is, they're warning him about what may happen if he lets his emotions control him.

And they're right!

Like, everything they're saying in this scene is the established world building of Star Wars---we even see it play out specifically with Anakin, because he doesn't heed this warning or follow the Jedi's teachings. He gives into his fear, his fear turned into hate, and his hate led to the suffering of the galaxy and the people in it for decades.

And in the original script Anakin was supposed to have an angry outburst at the Council when they kept bringing up the fact that he was scared, directly proving their point---and while this obviously wasn't included, so it can't be used as any commentary on Anakin, it can be used to point out what George Lucas was trying to say with this scene.

That, again, the Jedi were right.

----------

Secondly, we're gonna dispel the "the Jedi repress their emotions so obviously Anakin was emotionally stunted" argument that you're implying here.

I really don't want to re-type a whole new thing, so let's just take a quote from one of my other posts:

First of all, we're gonna dispel the myth that the Jedi teach emotional suppression--what they do teach is emotional regulation which, as others have pointed out, is something taught in therapy and is a good and healthy thing. But guess what? You also teach emotional regulation to children at a very young age! When your child is throwing a tantrum, screaming and breaking things, and just generally losing it because they're unhappy with something, what do you do? If you're a good parent, you- 1. help them calm down. 2. teach them how to work through their emotions in a healthy way for next time (taking deep breaths, counting to ten, walking off the anger, etc.). and 3. talking with them about what made them upset and helping them understand why they were upset so they can avoid it or deal with it better next time. All of that is emotional regulation. Parents all around the world teach it to their kids every day because it is healthy, and just because the Jedi need to emphasize teaching it more than most because Force-sensitives are susceptible to the Dark Side doesn't mean that it's any less healthy than regular people teaching it.

George Lucas has said many times that the Jedi are basically galactic therapists, and---even if you look at it without taking what GL said into account---the Jedi's teachings are literally what they teach you to do in therapy. Specifically it's DBT---which, funnily enough, is the exact type of therapy used to treat BPD, which some people in the fandom have said Anakin has.

The Jedi gave Anakin all the tools in the world, but they couldn't force him to use them---and Anakin refused, and genocided them and their culture for his own selfish wants.

----------

Finally, to say that either this one instance or growing up in the Order in general was the thing that emotionally stunted him is incredibly disingenuous, and also just plain ridiculous.

What caused him to be emotionally stunted was the 9 years he spent in slavery, and all of the trauma that came along with that---not growing up in a community of kind, empathetic people that believe in emotional healthiness.

----------

So, to finish off, I'm once again---for the millionth fucking time---asking anti-Jedi people to get the hell off my blog.

You want to hate the Jedi? Do it on your own blog, but keep it the fuck off mine.

Ngl I think a lot of people, when they talk about Jedi and attachments and how "the Jedi should be allowed to have them," just plain ignore the single most important show of attachment in all of Star Wars.

Padme and Anakin.

Obviously people bring them up 24/7 when they want to bash the Jedi or pretend that Anidala is the epitome of a "healthy relationship" (lmao), but when it comes to the actual point of how their relationship is framed and how it highlights how attachment works/what it does---suddenly all the discussion around Anakin and Padme disappears!

Anakin's attachment to Padme and his unwillingness to let her go is LITERALLY what ends up killing her!!!

He has dreams of her dying, becomes convinced that those dreams are what's gonna happen (despite the unreliable nature of visions), and---instead of actually telling anyone anything in enough detail so they could actually help---he:

- Starts working with a Sith Lord

- Massacres a Temple full of children, the elderly, the injured, etc. and the people who were caring for them

- Helps commit a genocide

- Overthrows democracy

And then, once Padme won't support him vying for them to control the galaxy, he becomes convinced that she's betrayed him and attempts to kill her---then, later on, because of Anakin's actions Padme dies.

----------

THAT is what attachment is and what it does.

Attachment is being unable, unwilling, to let someone go, no matter what that might mean for you or them, because you don't want to go through life without them---and the people you try to hold onto so tight ultimately get crushed in your grip because of it.

Think of it like holding someone's hand.

Non-attachment would be, when the other person wants to stop, letting them slip away and being happy with what you had while you had it---being content whether they choose to stay by your side or run off to go do something else.

Attachment would be, when the other person tries to let go, tightening your grip or grabbing their wrist---hurting them because you don't want there to even be a chance that you would be without them.

----------

So no, the Jedi were not wrong to teach non-attachment and they should not have "changed their philosophies so they were allowed to have attachments" like some people have suggested, because attachment is unhealthy and selfish and all it does is end up hurting those around you.

[dancing-to-architecture]

90 - Pink Floyd - The Wall

High up on my list of "Best Movie Soundtracks Ever", even though a. it's a rock opera and b. one of my favorite songs on the album is notably NOT in the film.

Also, an album I picked up WAY too early in life. This is not an album that should be mainlined by an impressionable young adolescent. (See also: Smashing Pumpkins)

And, if you haven't seen the movie, know going in that it's violent and disturbing and disorienting, it adds a LOT to the context of the album, and also you should really watch it twice.

•In The Flesh?-

One of the most bombastic and epic-feeling opening tracks I've ever experienced in my life.

I'm ALWAYS looking for that space cadet glow.

Also it ends like the album is ending, like entire goddamn world is ending, complete with the sound of a plane crash and everything, and then, with a baby's cry, we are introduced to our doomed protagonist.

•Thin Ice-

So, unlike quicksand, thin ice is a horror from my childhood only this one WILL ACTUALLY KILL YOU. Growing up in a small town where two rivers met, thin ice was a legitimate concern every winter.

And, while I don't recall as many people going under the ice as I do "Chicagoans getting wasted and falling to their death at Starved Rock", it was always in the back of my mind whenever the air hurt my face.

Regardless this song is about losing your sanity, and the two concepts are nonetheless linked in my mind, especially since high school makes you feel crazy.

•Another Brick In The Wall, Pt. 1-

This one makes me think of two things:

1. This Robert Anton Wilson quote:

"under the present brutal and primitive conditions on this planet, every person you meet should be regarded as one of the walking wounded. we have never seen a man or woman not slightly deranged by either anxiety or grief. we have never seen a totally sane human being."

2. My dad's hobby of late: burning all of his money by going on cruise ships multiple times a year.

"Daddy, what'd you leave behind for me?" Not fuckin much.

Otherwise this section of the album has one hell of a groove to it.

•The Happiest Days Of Our Lives-

So happy to say that I never had a *physically* abusive teacher.

Mentally and emotionally? I mean who didn't have at least one of *them* growing up?

(And yes I genuinely, honestly, hope "their psychopathic wives" beat the shit out of every single one of those bastards. If you are in a position of authority over children, and you use that to make their lives objectivly worse, for shit they had no hand in, I hope your eyeballs and throat and liver and kidneys all get ripped out by goddamned vultures.)

•Another Brick In The Wall, Pt. 2-

The anthem for my entire generation, and what should damn sure be the energy going forward (especially in Fascistland, I mean Florida, where "slavery was kinda good actually" and "AP Psych can not legally be taught anymore because it says that queer people exist".

We don't need no thought control.

And all in all, Ron Desantis is just another dick with no balls.)

Also, I was much older when I learned that when an Englishman says "pudding" they actually mean "basically any possible dessert" and not just, like, "tapioca".

•Mother-

Generating Lifelong Codependency: The Song.

5 minutes and 34 seconds of Bad Parenting Choices.

See the above Robert A. Wilson quote again.

•Goodbye Blue Sky-

Simultaneously one of the prettiest and one of the ugliest songs on the album.

Beautiful and horrible.

Also, one of my favorite of the animated segments in the film. Evocative as FUCK.

"The flames are all long gone

But the pain lingers on."

•Empty Spaces-

This is the sound of every dying relationship. Once the communication breaks down, the rot begins to take hold.

•Young Lust-

Now, THIS is a great song to get stuck in your head for a month and a half when you're a loser in your sophomore year of high school and nobody wants to really even look at you, let alone go out with you, and absolutely nobody wants to just fuck nasty, which is exactly what this song is entirely about: finding a person who wants to get slammed down, big style.

•One Of My Turns-

Possibly the darkest song on the album and one of the heaviest parts of the movie.

The Breakdown of Every Thing.

That said, "cold as a razor blade, tight as a tourniquet, dry as a funeral drum" would be a good description of me from like ages 15-27.

...Thank the gods for LSD. Ego death fixed a lot of that shit.

•Don't Leave Me Now-

Correction: THIS is the darkest song on the album.

A droning meditation on all the various forms of partner abuse.

•Another Brick In The Wall, Pt. 3-

And this is the song that turns the miserable sophomore-year loser into a teenaged curmudgeon. "I don't need any of you, I'll be just fine on my own."

•Goodbye Cruel World-

It's pretty obviously about suicide, but I always thought this would be a great closing song for a live show.

"Yeah this is it, this is all you're getting. You can't change my mind. Goodbye."

•Hey You-

Ah, good day, "Sir Not Appearing In This Film". How are you?

I've heard a few reasons from different people as to why this was cut from the movie, from simply "cut for time" to "the actual film got fucked up during recording and was deemed unusable".

In the story, this is the initial realization of the Great Mistake of building the wall and shutting yourself off from reality and humanity.

In my life, it gave me one of the most impactful lines I've ever heard:

"Hey you,

Don't help them to bury the light.

Don't give in without a fight."

As well as a lovely metaphor for what right-wing talk-radio grifters and Fox News brainwashing did to everybody's parents:

"No matter how he tried, he could not break free, and The Worms ate into his brain."

•Is There Anybody Out There?-

One of my favorite songs on the album.

Short and sweet, if by 'sweet' you mean 'dangerously paranoid'.

Also, one of the only songs I ever learned how to play on guitar.

I classify this as the beginning of what I call the "tone poem section". The next few songs all bleed together into one full movement.

•Nobody Home-

The depression inherent to self-imposed loneliness sets in as self-reflection, self-adoration, and ultimately self-revulsion.

"I'm so smart, I can even figure out every single thing that I did to completely ruin my entire life, but i won't do that until the end of the album, on account of how smart I am."

•Vera-

The tone poem continues.

Also, I had no idea who Vera Lynn was for quite some time. So, no, I didn't remember her. 🤷

It's a devastatingly pretty song, though.

•Bring The Boys Back Home-

And the culmination of the tone poem portion of the album arrives.

There's not a lot to this one, tbh.

•Comfortably Numb-

It is amazing to me how much I related to this song, long before I ever did a single drug. And now, after having done quite a few drug, I'm not much of a depressants guy. (It's probably all the regular depression, why would I ever add more?)

Man, I was a pretty messed up kid, huh.

Such an incredible song, though. Perfect in every way. Beautiful guitar work, the drumming is impeccable, the bass is... present, and the vocals are stellar.

One of my favorites.

•The Show Must Go On-

I can sum this one up with the title of a cancelled douchebag Marilyn Manson song: "I don't like the drugs, but the drugs like me."

•In The Flesh-

The reprise of the opening track.

Problematic as hell, but that's the fucking point. This is a hyper-violent fascist rally dressed up like a concert, and Anyone Who Doesn't Fit In will be Taken Care Of.

•Run Like Hell-

Back when I was a kid, roughly a thousand years ago, there was a Chicago morning news show that used to use the beginning of this song as their show's intro, and that always struck me as Extremely Fucking Weird.

The concert/hyper-violent fascist rally spills into the streets. Nobody is safe. This is the point.

•Waiting For The Worms-

Fear and isolation lead to horrors beyond human comprehension.

An anthem for krystallnacht.

An anthem for the alt-right mass shooter.

Fortunately, you can theoretically get the worms out. Unfortunately, you will very likely have to crack open the skull in which they reside to do so.

•Stop-

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE ARE CONSEQUENCES TO MY ACTIONS?!"

•The Trial-

The Big Come Down. Our protagonist realizes, way too late, that despite the many, many tribulations of his life, it is his reactions to those problems that ultimately the source of all of his problems.

Yeah, your teachers were shitty sociopaths, your mom was a domineering bitch, and your wife (rightly) got sick of all of your bullshit and left you.

Shutting yourself out and hiding yourself away doesn't fix a fucking thing, and only makes the Bad Things worse.

Shut the fuck up, Pink. You're not crazy, you're just a bigoted asshole. Tear the fucking wall down already.

•Outside The Wall-

In which our protagonist finally gets a fucking grip and stops being such a dick.

Or, an alternate reading is that Pink has killed himself, and everything from Goodbye Cruel World until this point has been a hallucination caused by his dying mind, and this is him receiving total consciousness at the moment of death.

OR it's simply saying "it's on you to open up a bit, because there are people who genuinely want to help you, but they'll only try for so long."

This is a great album, but you kinda need to see the movie to really get it, which is ironic because you also need to know the album pretty well to understand what the fuck is happening in the movie.

Favorite Track:

I am SO tempted to be a cheeky little shit and say "When The Tigers Broke Free", as that is an incredible song, but it's only in the film, not the studio album.

So I'll invert that and say Hey You, which is on the album, but not in the film.

Least Favorite Track:

Bring The Boys Back Home. It's the end of the slow self-reflection/self-destruction part of the story, there for the (incredibly depressing) vibes.

[leabethchase]

Please for the love of God watch DIARY OF A FUTURE PRESIDENT on Disney+

If you're looking for a diverse cast and queer representation this is the show for you. It currently has 2 seasons and needs your views to get a 3rd. And we NEED a third because there's so many cliffhangers and I'll die if I don't have conclusions.

If you liked One Day At A Time, Boy Meets World, Girl Meets World, Andi Mack, and even High School Musical The Musical The Series you'll love this show!

So here's why you should watch the show:

1) The main character is a young Latina girl named Elena. She is strong, intelligent, and highly independent with big dreams and goals. She wants to be President of the United States, which she achieves in the future and the show shows how she gets there. She's a great role model character for young girls because she's very goal driven, passionate, and ambitious but she's not perfect. She messes up sometimes and makes mistakes, but she bounces back every single time. She's just the kind of leading lady that yound tv needs right now.

2) Bobby is officially my all time favorite gay character. When you first meet him he's the typical cool older brother who is captain of his tennis team and likes a girl. But after some self reflection while having a girlfriend he realizes that he may like his new guy friend more than his girlfriend. Disney FINALLY has a show that accurately shows the struggles of discovering your sexuality and finding the courage to own it, accept it, love it, and come out to those you love about it. Bobby's journey of discovering his sexuality has been so beautifully done, the writers really just NAILED it. And to top it off we get an ACTUAL coming out where he actually says the words "I'm gay". Disney is getting brave and we love to see it!

3) And there's MULTIPLE queer people in this show. From the mom's best friend and her girlfriend, to the mom's co-worker, to Elena's classmate having two moms. There's so much representation to show that queer people exsist in everyone's day to day lives and its NORMAL.

4) The show does such a good job of representing a latinx family as well as including other cultures

4) The mom, Gabby, starts dating a coworker, Sam. She hasn't dated anyone since losing her husband a few years ago. Its an adjustment for her and the kids, who aren't the most accepting from the start. They show the struggles of one of your parents dating someone new and does a great job showing how hard it can be to accept but ultimately how great it could work out in the end.

5) The show isn't scared to talk about a bunch of different, important, topics. From friendships ending, to what it means to work in politics, to liking boys, to not judging people based off rumors or appearances, to the consequences of trying to grow up too fast, and so much more.

So please, GO WATCH THE SHOW! It's the exact kind of show that needs to be on tv right now. From the diverse cast, to the accurate queer representation, to the important topics they touch on with no fear. This show deserves a season 3, and hopefully more seasons after that!

[ckjbun]

What kind of ability would Higuchi have and its potential name?

Hi to whoever is reading this! This is my first self-written post so I’m still figuring out how all this works and I’m sorry, if it gets a bit chaotic. Anyways, recently, I came across a question regarding Higuchi from Bungou Stray Dogs. It was about what Higuchi’s ability would be called and what type it would be. So I won’t go into details whether she has an ability or not. I believe she has since she is named after an author (and Asagiri himself kinda confirmed it via Twitter). Thus, I just want to write my thoughts on the potential names and kind of ability. 

Since abilities in the BSD world are always named after rather well-known works of the authors, I compared some of the famous works of Higuchi Ichiyo. Now mind you, I haven’t read her works myself. I mostly relied on comparing summaries and analyses of them. Since there are not a lot of summaries, I read two lesser-known stories myself. I will add the links of the summaries/analyses of the works down below. However, while comparing I found two works that would fit Higuchi. Now, first what do I mean by “fit”? Well, it might be best to start explaining what I think about the type of Higuchi’s ability.  

I believe Higuchi has not an offensive type of ability. Nothing like Atsushi’s, Akutagawa’s, Kyouka’s etc. If she had, I’m sure she would have used it already, since she’s fighting a lot with her guns, why wouldn’t she use her ability as an addition, why would she hide it? There are two possibilities why we haven’t seen her ability yet. First possibility would be that her ability is not visible like Odasaku’s or Ango’s, maybe it’s even an ability that she hasn’t even discovered, just like Fukuzawa hasn’t realized he has one before the ADA. Second would be that she can use her ability only under stringent conditions. And I believe it’s the latter, hear me out. 

Remember this scene from Chapter 14? Higuchi reaches out to hold Akutagawa’s hand but then pulls back because she remembered him saying that he doesn’t need her help. Now, you could argue that holding the hands of injured loved ones is a gesture of closeness, a way to show them your support, a way to tell them that you’re staying by their side. And Aku doesn’t want this support, so that’s why she retracted her hand. But something bothers me here. In this scene it looks like Aku slapped Higuchi’s hand away, doesn’t it? And then he says, he doesn’t need her help, instead of support. I know, you could say support and help are almost the same. But to me, help is something that you do more “actively”, while support can be something passive. What if Higuchi’s hand represents this “active” help? And what would actively help Akutagawa in this very moment? A healing ability for example. Coincidentally, in the panel before, Hirotsu asks Higuchi what power she posses to make them [the black lizard] obey. Is this a hint that there is a hint about Higuchi’s ability in the next panel? Maybe. But let’s look at the next panel. It’s the title page of this chapter. 

As you can see, Higuchi has a bandage wrapped around her leg and they seem connected to Akutagawa. In this chapter, it is revealed that Higuchi contemplated about leaving the Port Mafia but her reason for staying is implied to be Akutagawa. This is perfectly symbolized by the bandages in this title page. The bandages coming from Akutagawa are holding her leg back, stopping her from walking away from the PM. But maybe there is a second interpretation? If you’re looking at Akutagawa’s left hand, the bandages are starting to come off. What if this means Akutagawa is healing and doesn’t need the bandages anymore? Instead it wraps around Higuchi’s leg, restricting her movement. What if Higuchi’s ability allows her to help someone else (doesn’t have to be necessarily a healing ability) but in exchange she needs to sacrifice something? Anyways, I think she has an ability which allows her to help other people in a non-combat way. With this in mind, I was looking through several works of Higuchi Ichiyo, searching for something that “fits”. Meaning that I was looking for parallels and themes in irl Higuchi’s stories that could be “converted” into an ability. Just like the coat that the protagonist of Rashomon stole in order to now die of hunger was used as Akutagawa’s ability which seems to be able to eat everything, or like the wish that one’s brother does not die in war in Thou Shalt Not Die became Yosano’s ability and serving as a basis of her background story. Anyways, I’d like to present the works that could be used for Higuchi’s ability and draw some parallels. 

1. The Thirteen’s Night

The story revolves around a poor woman, called Oseki. Thanks to her marriage to a rich man, her family was able to live a better life and her brother found a job. But on the thirteenth night of the ninth month of the lunar calendar (one of two special nights for moon viewing), Oseki visited her parents with the intention on asking her parents for approval for divorcing her husband. Before entering, she overhears her parents talking about how lucky they are that they have such good children who don’t cause trouble and that they are very thankful for this marriage. Hesitating at first, she finally goes in and admits that she wants to divorce her husband because he abuses her mentally. He insults her constantly and tells her that she's worthless, stupid, and uneducated. Her mother is outraged. But her father, even though he acknowledges her suffering, reminds her what her husband has done for this family and that she would lose her son since women couldn’t get custody of their children after a divorce at that time. Agreeing with her father, Oseki decides to go back to her husband: 

“It was selfish of me to think of a divorce. You're right. If I couldn't see Tarō, there'd be no point in living. I might flee my present sorrows, but what kind of future would I have? If I could think of myself as already dead, that would solve everything… Then Tarō would have both his parents with him. It was a foolish idea I had, and I've troubled you with the whole unpleasant business. From tonight I will consider myself dead — a spirit who watches over Tarō. That way I can bear Isamu's cruelty for a hundred years to come.” 

– In The Shade of Spring Leaves, translated by Robert Lyons Danly

Just like BSD Higuchi contemplates leaving the PM, the protagonist here wants to leave her husband. The PM is like the husband. It allows her to support herself and probably her family (at least we saw that she has a sister). But there is constant abuse. Akutagawa is clearly the biggest source of abuse that we can see. But it’s not only him. In Chapter 14, Mori asks her if she is really suited for this job. Telling her indirectly that she is useless or that she is too weak for the PM. Later, you can see the Black Lizard doubting her capabilities, even threatening her. But just like Oseki she stays because of a loved one. What really concerns me is Oseki saying that she will consider herself as a dead spirit watching over Tarō. What if Higuchi, in order to use her ability, has to sacrifice part of her lifespan? Or maybe she loses a feeling? Like e.g. she loses the ability to feel happiness, making her a bit more dead inside? If you draw this parallel, you could also say that when ‘consider myself dead’ is the condition of the ability, then ‘watching over Tarō’ is a hint to Higuchi’s ability. An ability that allows her to watch over and protect her loved ones? This theme fits Higuchi perfectly, since a big topic in Higuchi’s story line is how she wants to help and protect Akutagawa. So it makes sense that her ability might be something that would help him (**intensely squinting at the recent events in the manga, especially chapter 88**). Moving on to the second possibility before the pain starts to set in. 

2. Takekurabe (literally: "Comparing heights", "Child's Play" in the Robert Lyons Danly translation, "Growing Up" in the Edward Seidensticker translation)

Now this is considered as Higuchi Ichiyo’s masterpiece. So the chances are high that the ability is based on this story. The story accompanies a group of children who live next to the Yoshiwara quarter. There are two rival gangs: the main street gang (’omote-machi’), lead by Shōtarō, a cultivated young boy who is the grandson of the owner of a pawnshop, and the back street gang (’yoko-chō’), lead by Chōkichi, the impulsive firefighter’s son. (Maybe a parallel to the ADA with (cultivated) Fukuzawa and the PM with Mori who’s a doctor which belongs into the same category of occupation as firefighters?). Among the main street gang, there was Midori, popular and pretty, who lives in the brothel where her sister works. Shōtarō probably has a crush on her. But Midori probably has feelings for the other main character, Nobu, the son of a Buddhist priest. Even though he returns her feelings, he distances himself from her out of his self-consciousness. Later he joins the rival gang after repeated request by Chōkichi. Anyways, they spend their days very care-free, attending school, playing with each other after school. One day, some conflict arises between the gangs and Midori, while protecting someone else, gets slapped by Chōkichi with a sandal. He then proceeds to tell her that their gang is backed by no other than Nobu. Midori feels humiliated and stops going to school. Soon she also stops playing with the other children. After some time passed, Midori is seen with her hair all done up. She has become a distant, lady-like young woman. This probably means that she got her first period and is old enough to become a prostitute or that she just had her first client as a courtesan. Little by little, the children grow up. Nobu is sent off to be trained as a priest and Shōtarō has come to accept the responsibilities of his family’s shop. 

There are several themes in this story that I’d like to point out, namely unrequited love, Midori’s transformation and underlying unchangeable fates. The first one is obviously a big theme in Higuchi’s story. Midori and Nobu are unable to express their love for each other because of their positions in life. Just like Higuchi is unable to express her feelings for Akutagawa. If you want some hope, AkuHigu shippers, maybe Aku has also feelings for Higuchi but is still very confused and self-conscious about it just like Nobu. Anyways, because of their positions in the PM, it would make everything very complicated if Higuchi confessed. Additionally, Midori feels like she was humiliated by her love when she got slapped by that sandal. I’m sure that Higuchi gets humiliated by Akutagawa a lot. The next theme is Midori’s transformation from a tomboyish to a lady-like, distant woman. We all know Higuchi looks really badass in her suits. But again, look at the title page of chapter 14. Higuchi is dressed up all prettily and lady-like in a dress, and her hair is done all up. Just like Midori after her transformation. Midori’s transformation stands for Midori accepting her occupation as a prostitute even though she doesn’t want to. In this chapter, we see that Higuchi has accepted her job in the PM, even though she doesn’t want to do this job. At the end Shōtarō sings the following: 

"Growing up,

she plays among the butterflies

and flowers.

But she turns sixteen,

and all she knows

is work and sorrow."

– In The Shade of Spring Leaves, translated by Robert Lyons Danly

I don’t know about you guys, but to me that necklace that Higuchi is wearing in that title page looks like a butterfly to me. This is really farfetched but maybe this could be a hint about when Higuchi joined the Port Mafia? However, the biggest theme in Takekurabe is the underlying unchangeable fate of the children. Shōtarō was destined to become the next owner of the pawnshop, Nabu was destined to become a Buddhist monk and Midori would become a prostitute. Maybe this gives us some insight into why Higuchi joined the PM? Maybe one of her parents was a PM member? I also like to think that since Aku is in the PM, since she wants to be with him, she can’t but stay in the PM, and this is her fate. Nevertheless, fate is a central theme in Takekurabe. This is the reason why I think, if the ability is based on this story, Higuchi’s ability would be something like changing fates. Changing fate of someone else but in return she must sacrifice something. 

Okay, so this post has become quite long. But I still wanted to mention two other stories Yamizakura (Flowers at Dusk) and The Sound of the Koto where I saw a lot of parallels. I just want to briefly tell you the story of The Sound of the Koto. In this story a woman abandons her son in order to leave her husband who has a bad reputation. The husband then turns into an alcoholic and dies later at a party because of alcohol intoxication. The boy becomes hardened to the world, despises his mother for leaving them, and even contemplates suicide. The story shifts then to a woman playing the koto.  I want to give you an excerpt for the end of this story: 

“On this night the sound of the woman’s playing helped another to be reborn. Through fourteen springs and fourteen autumns, the boy had been buffeted by the rains. His heart had gradually toughened until it had become as hard as stone. No arrow could penetrate it. He seemed destined to follow the example of his father, to die among the fields or in the mountains, where his remains would be bleached by the elements. Some were convinced the boy’s life would end in prison chains, while his bad name spread to every roadside. 

But now, at once, the tenderness buried in his heart was freed by the midnight strains of the koto. For the first time in many years, he felt tears come to his eyes. Or were they jewelled drops of dew? He would not exchange them for anything. 

He, who had known neither love nor compassion, and who had no idea what the player of these refrains could even look like, felt a moment of happiness as the music drifted over the garden wall. […]

[…] How could a stormy wind blow now? The clouds in his heart had disappeared. Once more the woman began to play. The sound of the koto would be his friend for a hundred years, the seed for a hundred years of yearning. He had entered a world where a hundred different flowers wer in bloom. 

– In The Shade of Spring Leaves, translated by Robert Lyons Danly

This boy somehow just reminds me so much of Akutagawa. Just like this boy, without any parents and home, wandering around in this world, Akutagawa has become hardened to the world. I’d like to think that Higuchi’s ability could free Akutagawa from his pain, just like the sound of koto does for this boy. 

So, now I said everything I wanted to say, I guess. If there is really anyone reading this and reading this until here, thank you so much! I appreciate it very much that you kept reading even though my thoughts are probably quite chaotic. I’m sorry if there are any grammar mistakes or weird sentence structures or anything like this. English is not my first language. I’m very happy, if you could point out any mistakes or have any suggestion for improvement. Lastly, I just want to remind you that these are my thoughts, I love discussing so feel free to comment your thoughts but I’d like you to keep in mind that there is not necessarily a wrong or right, theories are theories, interpretations are interpretations. Everyone has another interpretation. They can only be proven wrong by Asagiri sensei himself. Until then just keep the discussions friendly and tolerant towards other people’s thoughts and opinions. 

Sources:

All manga panels used in this post are from easygoingscans

Higuchi Ichiyo (樋口 一葉)

Higuchi Ichiyo: "In the Shade of Spring Leaves"

In The Shade Of Spring Leaves: The Life Of Higuchi Ichiyo, With Nine Of Her Best Stories, translated by Robert Lyons Danly

In the Shade of Spring Leaves – Ichiyō Higuchi, Part 1

“Flowers at Dusk” and Other Notes – Ichiyō Higuchi, Part 2

“Encounters on a Dark Night” and Other Notes – Ichiyō Higuchi, Part 3

“Child’s Play” and Other Notes – Ichiyō Higuchi, Part 4

HIGUCHI ICHIYŌ: BADASS WOMEN IN JAPANESE HISTORY

The Thirteenth Night (Wikipedia)

Female Subject, Interrupted in Higuchi Ichiyō's "The Thirteenth Night"

GAME OF TRADITIONS: TRADITION IN THE THIRTEENTH NIGHT AND DIARY OF A MAD MAN

HIGUCHI ICHIYŌ IN MODERN JAPANESE AND EUROPEAN DRESS: Modern Japanese versions (gendaigoyaku) of Higuchi Ichiyō’s Takekurabe and their Relationship with English, Castilian Spanish and Catalan Translations

Separate Ways Summary

Literary Analysis of “Separate Ways”

Flowers at Dusk

Nigorie (Wikipedia)

From the Margins of Meiji Society: Space and Gender in Higuchi Ichiyō's "Troubled Waters"

[yandere-wishes]

⭐Yandere Joestars⭐

(Parts 1-7 + Bonus Charcter: Joseph and Johnny’s characterizations are based off @dear-yandere​ ‘s interperations) I tried to write this mostly in the Joestars' POV. Their respective darlings resemble lifelike dolls rather than human beings to further illustrate how out of touch with reality the Jojos have become.

Warnings: Gore, kidnapping, dehumanization.

Edited: By the amazing Peri!! (@tealyjade-libran )

⭐Jonathan Joestar is possessive. ⭐

It's only when you lose something, that you start to cherish it...

It's an old saying, one that Jonathan remembers from an antique storybook his mother use to read him. It didn't mean anything back then, when he was still an infant too young and new, to fully comprehend what "owning" and "losing" was. But as the years ticked by faster than any clock could keep track of, things started to change. What had once been a passing quote in a chivalrous story about knights and dragons, soon turned into the epitome of Jonathan Joestar's life. 

Soon love wasn't about saving a princess or impressing the neighborhood girls with his boxing skills. No, all too soon love became about own and guarding. 

There may have been a time -long before "Jojo" and Dio met- when Jonathan was just like any other gentleman. Tender and sweet, flirtish at gatherings and charming in ladies' companies...but that was a Jonathan from a could-be-past that had been demolished the minute Dio Brando stepped foot onto the Joestar estate. From then on things depleted all so quickly. Everything Jonathan had come to unconsciously cherished had been so easily stripped from him by his beloved new "brother". 

Everything he loved had been killed, destroyed, or broken in some inhuman way. His friends had abandoned him, his lover had distorted him, his father didn't even notice him...

"It's only when you lose something, that you start to cherish it". The second time he hears that phrase, it freezes him to the pavement, his body star-struck like he just received a message from the heavens. Although it's rather peculiar, why "heaven" would convey a message to him in such an unholy place. 

With Dio having practically kicked Jonathan out of the mansion and countryside. Jojo had no other place to go but the back allies of London. Sure he still tried to be home for supper and bedtime and any other time his father may get an inkling of his absence. But when there was no need to 'appear' Jonathan took to the London streets away from Dio and his lackeys. 

In fate's bizarre game, it's in a backstreet that reeks of days old licker and rotting flesh of paupers that no one has bothered to bury. That Jojo hears that life-defining idiom once more. His dulling sapphire blue eyes follow the mist of those melodious words. Staring until they're practically itching to cut through his sockets and run after those little words. But they stop right before they can leave their eyelets, they stop and stare at the figure that strolls out of the shadows, in such a way, that would make Jojo's father slap him across the face for being "barbarous".  

It's luck or fate or maybe even destiny that leads the heir of the Joestar legacy to meet his darling in the slums of England. 

"How my heart resonates when I lay my weary eyes on your enchanting face..."

There's an odd sweetness about the naivety that surrounds his little friend. A sort of innocence that comes with not knowing about the hell that he's gone through. It's charming in a moderate way, his darling can't come to despise him if they haven't got a clue who he is. Keeping both his worlds as far apart as possible is really the only option left. Dio and his friends can't hurt his new friend? Lover? Companion? In actuality, Jonathan really doesn't know what you are to him. At first, you're merely a distraction from his crumbling, lonely shell of an existence. A sort of invisible pillar holding up London's bridge before it collapses into the  River Thames. Sure he views you as another person, unlike the other noblemen Jonathan has no desire to treat you as anything less than a respectable young lady despite your social statutes. 

 Dio can have the noblemen and ladies, he can have all of George's affection and favor, Heck Dio can have the whole goddamn world for all Jonathan cares. So long as he has his darling, his sunflower, his only means for living, then he will be content. 

Jojo lost everything he once loved, but he swears it to every star in the night sky that'll preserve his darling from the wickedness that runs this cruel world. He'll cherish her while she's still in his arms...

He'll protect her, just like the knights did in the old bedtime stories his mother would tell him. 

"...I swear on my honor as a Joestar that I shall never lose you to the likes of anyone, I'll be a true gentleman, a true knight and I'll protect you from any who wishes cause you harm."

⭐Joseph Joestar is Protective and all so patronizing.⭐

Why must Love hurt so much?

It's solitude, pure utter solitude that attracts Joseph to his darling. Oh sure, he must have known them from an earlier time in his life, back when the words Hammon and Ripple just sounded like fancy dessert names. Back when he was still a naive kid wishing on every goddamn star that he could just meet one of his parents for a fraction of a second. Back when life was easy when everything made sense. That's when he first met his darling. Although all so many years ago he probably just thought of them as the little sister he never got a chance of having. 

There's a numbness growing inside him now that his life has slipped off its axes, hurling into unknown darkness that plagues him in the form of Pillarmen and red gems. 

Everywhere he looks there's a reminder that nothing's going back to the way it used to be. No waking up to Granny Erina's voice calling him down for breakfast, no running around chasing Old Man Speedwagon. Everything is gone, replaced by Lisa Lisa's brutal training and Ceaser's endless taunting. 

Day by day nothing changes, but once he looks back every little thing is different. Ruptured and mangled into something unrecognizable. 

But then there's his darling. Someone -or rather something- that's still the same. Just like before. Her smile is still the same as ever, bright and cheery as she runs up to him wrapping her arms around his abdomen muttering about how much she missed her "Dear Big Brother".

(Y/N) is a comfort, a familiarity in a strange new world. She's something so frail and vulnerable, not to mention naive. Thrusted into a world where horror writers don't dare venture into. It's so likely that she'd be captured by one of Kar's zombie vampire things or -even worse- charmed by Caesar’s silver tongue. 

It's thoughts like these that haunt Joseph at night, keep him up and wandering into her room just to gaze at her sleeping form. He's lucid enough to know how it might look. Like he's the bad guy trying to take advantage of a defenseless little girl. But he can justify his actions, he's her big brother, he has to watch over especially when she's at her most vulnerable. If Ceaser ever tried anything or some vampire freak snatched her away in the dead of night, Joseph would never forgive himself!

But what does he get for all his efforts? What does he get for all his sleepless nights and hours upon hours of worrying? Just a small smile and a fleeting kiss on the cheek. No sincere, "Thank you big brother," or, "You're my hero Joseph!" Nothing, nothing worthwhile anyway. 

Now it's a competition, a battle to the death if it has to be -funny how he takes this more seriously than his match against Wamuu.- He's competitive by nature and he's willing to do anything to earn his darling's affection once more. He doesn't care who he has to beat within an inch of their life so long as he can have his darling back in his arms.

There is an aftermath to all of these, once all the fighting has ended and the battle's won. Once Joseph has finally claimed his prize. There's a certain way his darling has to act. She’s got to smile and play the role of the dotting little sister once more. Just so Joseph can justify his actions...

"And your next line is, 'I love you more than anything else big brother Joseph!'...at least I wish it was." 

⭐Jotaro Kujo is cold and sadistic.⭐

Never learned how to love...

A lover by Jotaro's book is nothing more than a walking, talking doll. Someone who cooks meals, irons clothes, and kisses him on the cheek before he leaves for the day. Sure they have other uses, in flares of passionate moments, they're something to hold onto, another pair of limbs to get tangled in. Something hot and solid, someone to push down, to weigh his force on. 

That's it, that's all there is to it...

A lover and a convenient toy are one of the same. 

He knows it's wrong to think about someone that way. To deprive a living thing of all their thoughts and feelings just so it's suitable for him. But at the end of the day who wants to hear idle chatter and gossip or go outside for walks in crowded areas. All too social, it's all so troublesome. All Jotaro wants is a closed-off life, away from the scums of the earth...away from people in general. 

It's such an inconvenience to seek out a lover, to hassle through dates and meetups in hopes of finding someone that clicks. Jojo would even go so far as to call it wishful thinking. So it has to be a pure accident that he even meets his darling. They're just someone who gets tangled in with the crusaders. A perfect living perception of 'wrong place, wrong time'. Someone who's life gets blown to bits and shambles just because fate decided to play a cruel joke on them. 

And that's what piqued Jotaro's interest. The desperate, depleted look of pain cemented over their face. The sparse dying gleam of determination that blazes within their eyes. Oh, what Jotaro wouldn't do to snuff that little ray of hope. To watch as what little purpose they have is ripped from their arms. What he wouldn't do to see them in pain...

Pain is submission, that's really all Jojo wants. A darling submits, not out of their own free will, but because every little thing they've ever loved has been slaughtered, all that they cherished has been stolen from them. 

But it's not enough 

It's never enough

Although Jotaro adores the looks of anguish that decorates his lover's face. There's something more satisfying about maltreating them. About leaving marks all over, about leaving bruises that never lose their violet glow. He's claiming his darling, physically and mentally. Not a single day goes that Jotaro doesn't remind his lover who they belong to. From verbal taunts that plague his darling's mind day and night, to punches that break bones leaving them paralyzed on the floor begging for help, to cuts that are just a little too deep to ever heal properly. 

Even when his darling is behaving, even when the poor little thing does everything her lover tells her to do, there's still going to be some sort of violence directed at her. Some backhanded remark about how useless they are just because they couldn't follow his mother's recipe. Some sort of blow just for greeting him 'too late'. Trivial things morph into punishments, just for Jotaro's sick amusement.

At his core, Jotaro is an unresponsive man, one with no regard for how others feel. He's distant, it's a trait he can't change. He likes how he does things, how there's no room for slip-ups when it's only him. Even his darling isn't someone he'd consider opening up to. Their opinion of him doesn't matter and their feelings are irrelevant. Most days he's gone until the last possible moment, leaving his darling an endless amount of time to mull over every word and scar. 

But here's the catch.

As the clock ticks by, as the nights and days begin to merge into an endless existence, as all hope burns in the pits of hell, darling's mind is also going to stray. Ever so slowly losing its perception of reality. 

'Maybe' spiders begin to spin webs of doubt through darling's empty cranium. The isolation begins to bite at her skin like the razor-sharp fangs of frostbite. They start to crave Jotaro's harsh touches, they start to miss the venom-like words. Every insult and slap to the face is welcomed, all the misplaced anger and death threats start to feel like sweet kisses and flowery touches. 

Poor darling no longer sees big scary Jotaro as a monster. They've lost the ability to see him for what he truly is.

And what happens when Jotaro does finally come home? Oh, how little (y/n) will ravish in the gut kicks and loathsome words. How she'll take every beating with a sweet sugar-coated smile.

Cause this is her life now. A meaningless existence that revolves around Jotaro and his bleak personality. A life that's only worth living when Jotaro is around.

Is it even a life?

"Yare yare daze you're such a hassle, be glad I keep you around...”

⭐Josuke is obsessive with delusional tendencies.⭐

Maybe I'm the one you'll fall in love with next...

Just like his "father" Joseph, Josuke is stuck in a perpetual state between diaphanous and phantasm.

There's something all too wrong with Morioh nowadays. The narrow streets and verbose buildings have started to feel like a transparent cage. The town has always been small, barely reaching a population of 3,000 despite all the new families that keep moving in.

Nevertheless, everything has dulled, faded, and withered into a monochrome collage. The layers of repetitiveness had finally begun to pick at Joskue's nerves...

And yet somehow, by some diabolical twist of fate. In the mists of the oceans of familiarity, Josuke’s eyes grab onto some shimmering pearl lounged into between the crowd of familiar faces. 

Sure he's seen this girl before, but he's never actually seen her. Never stopped to look at the odd way their eyes twinkle like newborn stars or how their skin shimmers with the glow of a thousand suns. 

One second is all it took, a fleeting compliment as you passed by Jojo in the peppermint flavored afternoon. Your hair flowing like a tapestry of the galaxy as you disappeared in the crowd of dead pulsars. Not a care in the world, not for him, not for anyone.  

Destiny was definitely up to its old cruel tricks again. 

He's not stalking. Josuke will swear on his grandfather's grave that he'd never "stalk" a harmless little girl, like some distorted maniac. He just happens to bump into you at the beauty parlor when he's picking up a new brand of hairspray. And it's totally an accident when he meets you out in the abandoned fields! Honest! It's not his fault fate wants the two of you to keep meeting, it's not his fault that you guys are meant to be!

It's not technically a friendship that you two start to build up, it's far from one. Friends don't dream about sugar-filled kisses behind school walls. Or about ice cream that tastes like scandalous touches and candy induced moans. No, Joskue isn't your friend, he NEVER wanted to be your friend. He knows that! He knows what he wants...but with each passing day, he's beginning to doubt that you know that. 

He'd never realized he's been so sensitive on you. So entranced by your out of tune voice that muttered rather than spoke. He's seldom been so eager to throw a punch and crack his knuckles on someone's skull, just for saying you looked "lovely today". 

Whenever his eyes don't land on you, a rage-filled volcano bubbles in the pit of his gut, uncontrollable anger that festers inside of him, like lava waiting to spill out and burn anyone that wanders too close. His palms itch with the need to hold you, to feel your soft skin rubbing against his. 

The jealousy is always there, pricking at his skin like rose thrones. Until they inevitably cut through his flesh and make him lose his composure. He's ready to kick and punch and hurt and kill anyone that comes too close to you, anyone that saunters off their orbit and makes a beeline for you, disturbing the balance of solitude that Josuke so eagerly sets you into.

Sometimes in the dead of night, when the world has finally dozed off, Joskue's mind begins to wonder. He thinks the way he feels about you is the same way an addict feels about his drugs. Maybe to him, you're even more addicting than heroin and ecstasy...and yet he can't quit you, he just doesn't want to quit you. Nothing in this world could compare to your sweet voice that tickles his ear when you lean in, to whisper a secret, or the may your full lips move when you throw another honey-filled insult at him. 

He prefers when you're alone when he's the only one you talk to. 

Sure there are exceptions like everything in life, although in the end  

there's a sort of backhanded irony.

It's those exceptions that are going to hurt him in the. 

Josuke trusts his friends, he knows that Okuyasu and Koichi would never do anything to hurt him...

But you're not on that list and to be fair you're surely the only one who can truly hurt him.

You fall for a friend of his. Not him, not the boy that's been driving himself insane just to earn a smile from you, not the boy that let you get away with insulting his hair and poking insults at his look, not him never him, it just can't be him.

"You're like an older brother to me"...Did you wash your mouth with acid before you spat those words at him? Did you intend to lace your words with knives and blades and rubbing alcohol before you stabbed him? It's figurative, sure. But it might as well be literal. No pain, no cut, no punch from any stand would ever hurt so much! You really don't know what you do to him, do you?

"I'm happy for you," it's a lie, blank and simple. Automatic words that he's practiced in the mirror a thousand and one times. He'd rather watch you suffocate on your own blood than in the arms of another man. He'd rather break every bone in your body than watch you kiss one of his friends. 

How on earth had he ever come to love you? Someone as cruel and cold. Were you even human? You resembled some ice stand more than a flesh and blood person. HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO HIM.

He really hadn't meant for it to become an addiction, he hadn't meant to get all so used to the crunch of bones beneath his foot, and the bloodied lips quivering, shuttering out apologizes for having the gall to utter your name in his presence. But there's only so much a teenage boy can take, only so much torture that he can bury inside with a moonlight smile. 

Addictions really do funny things to semi-sane people, huh?

It's a split-second decision, done in the heat of an all so regular moment. It's just a simple half-hearted punch when you beat him at another videogame. Then another

And another

And another

Then a crack, another and another, and before either of you knew it you're on the floor screaming out in pure agony. 

Josuke vows he's not being cruel when he breaks your bones so delicately. He can justify every crack, every fracture. Although it's rather repetitive and in certain cases borderline petty. 

Five broken bones on your left leg just for "kissing" your new boyfriend. Your right leg is bent at an angle you're sure it's not meant to be. All because you hugged said new lover before going to class. 

Josuke's once liquidy blue eyes that held the softness of clouds have been dulled over by a sort of thick mania. His once soft touch is nothing but nails digging into already bruised tissue. His lips wobbling as stray tears flow past his eyes. Muttering apologies and stuttering curses at both you and himself.

It's not really like his darling can leave after that incident. Josuke is known around town as the boy with a diamond heart. There's no way in hell anyone will believe what he did to you. It's just better, safer, to stick close to him, to swallow the indignities and paint a loving smile over your face when you gaze into his depraved eyes. 

It's better to pretend to love him, rather than have another limb broken...

"Come on (Y/N), it's just a little crack. If you promise to give me a tiny kiss I'll let Crazy Diamond fix you right up."

⭐Giorno Giovanna is sneaky and manipulative. ⭐

Sono pazzo di te. Sei la cosa più bella che mi sia mai capitata...

There's a sleekness to Giorno, a cunning that's hidden behind layers of charisma and charm mimicking that of his birth father's. It's so easy for him to fool his darling into believing that he's a charming prince from a storybook. He's the good guy trying all so damn hard to make his dream a reality. He's admirable, he's noble, he's Giorno Giovana, the golden boy.  

It's not like he ever intends to hurt his darling. He'd never dream of laying a hand on them, he's all too familiar with the wounds that come from endless beatings. The bruises and phantom pains, that get worse as the days slip by. He knows real pain, and unlike all so many others on both sides of his family, Giorno doesn't want his lover to experience an uncia of it. 

He'd never repeat what his stepfather and mother did to him. He's going to try and do everything he can to make sure that his darling is safe...

Because isn't that what's important? To make sure the one you love is safe. To make sure they don't get swept off their feet by some masquerading drunkard or taken advantage of by some fanciful sadist. 

Giorno will do anything to keep his darling safe, even if it means tampering with their mind a little. Nothing too serious, he'd never even considered changing anything about them. Although isolating them isn't completely off the table and a few verbal threats are fine from time to time. Just for precaution...

Giorno is a rather determined boy, he'll go to any lengths to isolate his lover. Scaring away friends by letting Gold Experience give them a small out of body experience. If they're persistent then he can't guarantee that that out-of-body experience will simply remain an experience much longer. It's not out of malice, but it's what must be done for the sake of his darling, the only other thing he cares about.

There's a shift, a difference between the young naive Giorno Giovanna, the golden boy with starry eyes, and the new boss of Passione, the Mafioso who holds the whole country in the palm of his hand. 

Oh sure, as a simple Soldato Giorno was dangerous in his own right. But Don Giorno? He's the sort of monster written about in the grimmest fairy tales. Wearing the appearance of a true king but underneath the luxury suits and priceless watches, he's just another greedy, fire-breathing dragon.

As the Don of Italy's most influential gang, Giorno's manipulation tactics have gotten rather ....hazardous. He doesn't have time to waste getting rid of every single person that poses a threat to his darling. If someone looks their way, he'll send some goons to take care of them. 

Although it's so much easier to keep his lover locked away, he even has the perfect excuse now. He's the head of the mafia, he has all so many enemies who jump at the opportunity to hurt him in some way. So he has to keep his defenseless little lover locked away in some mansion that's all so far away. 

He's also a bit more violent now. Giorno's more physical, ready to break a bone just for a wrong word or a cracked jaw from a punch for even asking to go outside. He blames it on the stress of running an organization...although it's more likely that all the power from passion has begun to rinse away Giorno's caring side. 

"Cuore mio, Resta con me per sempre"

⭐Jolyne Kujo is clingy and obsessive and delusional.⭐

I can't stay away from you...

Jolyne is a rather condescending yandere. Her rough ragged exterior does little to hide the clingy neediness that writhes inside her shattered heart.

She's soft, dependent, desperate at best. Wanting her darling to approve of every tiny trifling thing she does. Needing their words of praise and approving smiles to have the courage to live another day. 

At times it seems like the only thing keeping Jojo alive is the  "good girl!" and "I'm proud of you!" her darling throws her way. Chanting the words of praise with closed eyes and fluttering smiles of anxiety. 

It's difficult to make her sweetheart realize how virulent this relationship is, far too hard to call Jolyne a Yandere. The derogatory term applies to someone who ceases all control from their lover, who locks them in a basement, and throws away the key. It applies to murders and 

stalkers and lunatics that roam the streets in the dead of full moon nights. It applies to those who were thrown into Green Dolphin for a reason.

 Not to some girl whose life has been demolished over and over and over again. 

Not to the girl with a star birthmark that follows her darling around like a lost puppy in the freezing rain. 

But even Jolyn has her limits. She's been let down time and time again, abandoned and framed by those she thought she loved unconditionally. From friends to boyfriends to even her own father, everyone leaves, they take what they want, and then they leave. 

Flesh like strings, stitched into a web of antithesis and distraught moods, act as a  solid, interchangeable reminder of who really holds the power in this relationship. Of how Jolyne can go from needing her darling to controlling her darling in just a fraction of a heartbeat. She loves them, she swears she does...but they need to stay close to her, they need to only think about her. 

Her addiction gets worse as the days tick by. It's less romantic, less loving. Morphing into a dependency, a compulsion. Rotting thoughts of her darling suddenly leaving, plague her every waking moment. The once semi pleasant conversations between her lover and her friends, get cut off like a severed limb. 

Even Hermes and Foo Fighters aren't "good enough" to be around Jolyne’s lover. She's all so, scared they'll try to take them from her. Stealing the ONLY good thing in her life.

There's a certain degree of control that Jolyne's willing to give to her darling. A sort of freedom to make, revolting appalling choices, so long as they include her. A freedom to boss her around and make her submit. Her darling is free, so long as that freedom revolves around Jolyne.

"(Y/N)~ don't look at them! You should only focus on me! I'm supposed to be your world!"

⭐Johnny Joestar is sadistic and manipulative.⭐

Arrogance disguised as affection...

It's all degradation, all harsh words that sting worse than bullet wounds. Glares from dull wicked blue eyes that might as well kill, cause it's better than the alternative. Smirks that make being alive so damn distasteful. Kisses that engrave the lingering taste of rotting lead into your tongue.

Johnny isn't sweet, he doesn't smile at his little sweetheart. He doesn't pat their head and kiss their temples while uttering sweet nothings into their blushing ear. No, his lover doesn't deserve a honey-coated life. They don't deserve to have what was stolen from him by his so-called "loved ones". Instead, he uses them as a living dart board, for both his acid-laced words and bullet-like fingernails. 

There's no love when it comes to Jojo. He doesn't want to waste time on something so frivolous as a "significant other". But he does like having someone -or rather something- to play with, a form of entertainment that bends at his will. Not a pushover, not someone who's too proud either. But a living doll that can take a few verbal spats and survive an armada of fingernail bullets through the stomach. 

Oh, sure he wants to break them, having a toy that's so conflicted, that questions their own sanity is so much more fun. But it's the intervals that count. Johnny wants to be the one to break his darling. To engrave the helpless look of distress into his memory. He wants to preserve every scream, every tear. That's the whole purpose of even keeping a darling. 

Johnny rarely lets his darling out of his sight. It's so much easier to play with their mind if he's the only one they ever talk to. They'll become so easily dependent on him if he's their only companion. Although sometimes Gyro can get a little too touchy and friendly. And there will be occasions when Hot Pants start to pry into the darling and Jojo's personal life. But the incidents are few and far between. Not like Johnny minds, if anything these minor secondary "meetups" are useful to the paraplegic jockey. They refill his darling with the most precious thing..." Hope". Just so Johnny can beat it out of them all over again.  

There's a darkness that resides deep within Johnny. A toxicity that laces his actions. His life is miserable and he's damn well sure it'll always be that way.....

So why not take his lover down with him?

"Don't you love me darlin' ? Cause I certainly don't love ya."

⭐Jorge Joestar is delusional and obsessive.⭐

What if we lost our minds, together?

A love story better than his parents, that's all Jorge wants. Flower field dates, and quick lingering kisses before midnight. Something sweet, that doesn't have a macabre end. A romance without body-snatching vampires and zombies that shed their flesh. Something normal, gentle, lovable. 

Although with the family he's been born into and the kind of things that keep finding him. Jorge doubts he's ever going to get such a hopeful love life. He's all so desperate to carve a life for himself outside of his family's shadow, but in the end, it's simply eager wishing. 

He's not exactly sure what he's even looking for in a lover. Someone sweet but strong-willed, an average answer. Someone who bears a sort of resemblance to Lisa Lisa. Not physically but rather mentally, he's not a coward, he swears he's not, but he just wants someone who can protect him. A fair exchange in his eyes. His lover will guard him against the bullies and freaks of the island and in turn, he'll protect them from the grim ghouls that run amok through the world. Although when push comes to shove he isn't sure if he'll really be 'protecting' his lover or running away and hiding somewhere with them.

He just wants to fall in love and not go insane, a reasonable request, if he hadn't seen the worst that the world has to offer. It's just wishful thinking, sweet dreams for a boy designed to attract trouble. 

He doesn't want to have conversations with his dead lover's head. He doesn't want to wear their skin and waltz around town. He doesn't want any of that creepy, supernatural stuff that destroyed his parent's love. 

He just wants normal. But as the years slip by Jorge's grip on "normal" slowly begins to decay.

Normal is something, but what that something is has become a blur. Normal isn't vampires and zombies and ghost clowns that throw nooses around people's necks...Yet on the other hand maybe it is? 

He's so far gone that he can't even differentiate between methodical and irregular. His brain's capacity to understand the difference has gotten so altered and broken.

Once he finds his darling he does try to act like the ordinary people of the Canary Islands or England, depending on where he's residing at the time. He tries to follow the mode, just to impress his lover. It's a façade, a bloody masquerade that's bound to deteriorate once he and his lover have settled down.

Although a poetic, domestic life had always been Jorge's dream, he soon comes to learn that it just doesn't suit him. Jorge's paranoia starts to increase. It's comical at first, the way his eyes dart to closed doors, half expecting a killer to emerge. Although the same paranoid tendencies can become rather smothering at times. He's all so certain something is going to jump out of the shadows, some creature with sharp fangs and knife-like claws is going to rip his lover's body to rags. 

He's gotten rather umbrageous now that he's the one who's married and living in the Joestar estate. His tendency to run away from any form of conflict has morphed into a rogue-like sense, much similar to a rabid dog barking at anyone who gets too close to its territory. He keeps his darling locked away inside, triple-checking the locks to make sure no one or thing can get in. He avoids the probing disquieting neighbors who still speak ill of his widowed mother and murmurs about the "curses" bestowed on the Joestar bloodline. Sometimes even getting physical when the insults shift towards him and his new lover. 

Punches are thrown.

Insults exchanged.

And then the door and windows are locked once more.

Leaving both Jorge and his darling in the chilling company of the semi alive shadows.

It's safer in the basement. It has to be safer down there. After all his mother kept his father's severed head down there for decades before anyone found it. So it's only sensible that his lover will also be safe, tucked away in the darkness of a brick room some few meters under the earth. He's not acting like his mother -and deep down he prays that this isn't something his late father would ever even consider doing- It's a thin line of justification, but he can reason with himself so long as he knows it's not something his other family members have ever done. He does try to keep his darling comfortable down there. Buying them the most luxurious furniture and comfortable bedding. Constantly bringing them new forms of entertainment. 

Keeping them in this preserved state is what any reasonable person would do. Not just another insanity driven Joestar.

"It's for your own safety" he's repeated that phrase an umpteenth amount of times, although every time the sculpted words leave his tongue, Jorge becomes less sure of who he's really trying to convince. 

Jorge is all so sure that he's doing all of this for both his lover's safety and to erase whatever misfortune follows around the Joestars, like an airy plague. Even his enrolling for the great war is done with this mindset...

Even though in the end it's also this mindset that gets him killed. Leaving his darling a wide window to freedom. 

"Darling, what do you think when you look at me?"

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

[bumblesimagines]

Green Thumb

Part 2

Request: Yes or No

For anyone confused, (Y/N) was around 17 when he fought the Avengers and was taken in and now he's 18-19. Lowkey a filler to develop/show (Y/N)'s relationship with Laura and Clint

~

You stared up at the large wooden house, a soft breeze blowing by that made you tugged down the sleeves of the sweater you were wearing. Clint turned off the engine of his motorcycle, looking up at you. You furrowed your brows and turned towards him, glancing at the darkening sky.

"What is this place?" You asked, watching him curiously Clint stood beside him, gazing fondly at the house. He looked at you with a gentle smile.

"My home."

"Home?"

"Yep, home. The only other people who know about this place are Fury and Natasha." Clint revealed, making your brows raise. You looked back at the house. It was homey for sure. Far from the city with nature surrounding it. A perfect place to raise a family and live a quiet life. You bit your bottom lip, gently wrapping your arms around yourself. 

"So, why’d you bring me here?" You asked. If it was such a big secret that not even Tony or Steve knew about it, why would he share it with you? You weren’t even part of the team. You were just a child that they had to take in. Clint placed a gentle hand on your back.

"You need some fresh air and a break from the shit back at the tower. Come meet my wife and kids." Clint said, walking towards the house. You slowly followed, still unsure about the whole thing. You didn’t know why Clint trusted you so much. Not even a couple weeks back, you had attempted killing him and the Avengers. You had heard Tony mention Clint having a habit of taking in strays so you assumed you were just another person Clint wanted to help. The aroma of food filled your senses, making you let out a soft hum. Clint had heard it, chuckling as he stepped into his home. You followed, noticing the pictures on the walls and scattered drawings. 

"Laura, I’m home!" Clint called out into the house, following the light from the kitchen. You noticed some legos laying around, looking up as a woman approached Clint and greeted him with a kiss.

"How was work?" She asked softly, smiling. You could see two kids looking at you curiously from the table. Clint smiled back at his wife, gently stroking her long hair. 

"It was fine, honey. I brought a guest." Clint motioned towards you. Laura looked at you, humming softly. Her smile widened as she faced you.

"You must be (Y/N). Welcome to the Barton Farm." Laura giggled softly, placing a hand on her belly. Your gaze dropped down, noticing her barely visible bump. Laura followed your gaze, chuckling softly.

"We’re- Well, more like Natasha is hoping for a little girl." Laura smiled, glancing at Clint when he placed a gentle hand on her bump. She looked back at (Y/N), motioning to the table. 

"Come join us."

You walked with Laura to the greenhouse, glancing over at Tony and Steve as they talked.

"How was your first mission?" Laura asked, smiling widely as she gazed at you curiously. You were supposed to go on a mission when your training was complete but nevertheless, it had been quite exciting. You smiled, looking forward.

"It was.. Good. It didn't go as planned, obviously, but there wasn't much of a plan to begin with. Clint's definitely holding a grudge against the runner." You chuckled, opening the door to the greenhouse and stepping inside. Some new flowers had been added.

"I don't blame him." Laura said, giggling as she pulled up a chair. She sat down, letting out a sigh of relief. Laura rested her hands on her belly, watching you with a gentle gaze.

"The girl.. The girl made Hulk lose his shit and made the others see stuff." You told her, picking up a pot with a venus flytrap inside. You gently ran your finger over the plant, watching it open.

"Did she get to you?"

"No, I.. I stopped her before she could do anything to me. Natasha seemed pretty shaken up by what she saw." You looked back at her, frowning softly. You had never seen Natasha look so broken inside. Whatever she had seen, it had definitely triggered some bad memories. You wondered what Wanda would've made you see. The orphanage? The fight with the Avengers?

"Clint mentioned you had to work on your people skills." Laura recalled, laughing softly as she tilted her head. "What's that about?"

"I might've choked.. A few people."

"Might've?" Laura repeated, raising her brows. You placed the pot down, letting out a soft sigh as you stared down at the venus flytrap.

"What's on your mind, sweetheart?" Laura asked softly, noticing the change. You gently pushed the pot back into its spot beside the other plants, shrugging lightly.

"Not that long ago, I was in their spot. Wanda and Pietro.. Two young metas trying to survive. With my powers, I could have seriously injured someone and-"

"But you didn't, did you? We're all standing on this plot of land, living and breathing." Laura stood up from the chair, holding onto it as she regained her balance. She walked towards you, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder.

"You were a frightened kid on survival mode. You were doing whatever you could to protect yourself." Laura said, gaze softening.

"Obviously, I could never hurt Thor or Hulk but... I almost crushed and suffocated everyone else. Tony had to work on his suit, Natasha and Clint had bruises for days.. Steve did that weird staring thing like a fucking camera whenever I was in the room." You reached forward, running a finger over the leaf of a plant and watching it grow.

"Look at yourself." Laura motioned to the plants. "You have full control of your powers. You know your limits. You're.. Mother Nature's son! Like, almost literally her son."

"I'm your son." You muttered, keeping your gaze on the plants. Laura stayed quiet, almost frozen in place. She slowly smiled, nodding as she blinked away tears.

"Yeah.. Yeah, you are. You're my son. You're a Barton." Laura said softly, sniffling softly. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"I'm gonna go see if Stark is willing to check out the tractor. Holler if you need anything." Laura said, turning around. She left the greenhouse, walking back towards the house. You thought about her words, knowing what she said was true but things could've gone differently if you had been in full control of your powers during the confrontation with the Avengers. Clint had still offered you support despite it all.

You brought your knees close to your chest, hearing the sounds of the Avengers grunting and talking on the floor below. The overgrown vines in the abandoned building wrapped around the corner you were in, providing cover.

"Hey, kid? You up here?"

"Barton, what the hell are-"

"Shut up, Tony." You furrowed your brows, hearing sluggish footsteps on the floor you were at.

"This isn't the greatest hiding spot, kid." The voice, 'Clint', had gotten closer. He was most likely standing infront of you, the vines being the only thing keeping you from seeing him.

"Look, I know you're scared. I know the orphanage probably wasn't great either, but we can help you. I can help you. You can trust me." Clint assured softly. You swallowed, reaching out and touching the vines. They parted, letting you peer up at Clint. He offered a tired smile, extending his hand to you.

"You just made Laura the happiest woman alive." You turned towards Clint, chuckling softly. Clint pushed himself off the doorway, stepping inside.

"Must be nice to finally feel happy for once." You replied, grinning.

"Oh, trust me, you should've seen her face when I proposed." Clint chuckled, looking over the greenhouse. He hummed.

"Maybe I should get into gardening." He muttered, arms crossing as he looked over the different flowers. You watched him.

"You'll be busy with missions."

"I don't plan on sticking around for long, if I'm honest. I want to retire and be with my kids more. The hero life isn't forever for some people. Keep that in mind, (N/N)."

"You're gonna leave the team?" You asked, frowning. You knew Clint had been thinking about it. Especially with a third kid on the way that would come at any moment.

"I got lucky but.. The thought of leaving Laura alone with three young kids, a barely legal adult, and a big plot of land.." Clint sighed, shaking his head as he gently tapped his finger against the table.

"I don't want to be an absent father and miss out on big achievements. I owe it to Laura and you guys." Clint explained softly. You understood. None of the other Avengers were parents yet. Clint dying meant fatherless kids and a widow. He had a lot more to lose.

"I'll always be here if you need advice or more training. I just won't be on the field with you." Clint placed his hands on your shoulders, giving them a gentle squeeze before he leaned in and gave you a hug. You hugged him back, eyes shutting. You weren't sure how you'd be on the field without Clint there to support you. Being beside him brought you comfort and reassurance.

"You'll be an amazing Avenger, (Y/N). I know it." Clint whispered, leaning back and smiling softly.

"Will you be my number 1 fan?" You asked with a grin.

"I'm afraid the top three spots are already taken but I'll happily be your fourth biggest fan." Clint laughed softly, turning his head when Laura called for him and you.

"Come on, let's see what the boss wants." He said playfully, turning around and walking out. You followed, noticing Nick Fury standing on the porch. He gave you a nod before entering the house.

"What's he doing here?" You asked, looking at Clint. Clint shrugged, letting out a deep sigh as you walked up the steps.

"We're about to find out."