#lorelai and rory have selfish moments

[autumnrory]

i understand that it sucked for lorelai when rory didn't make it to her graduation but damn some fans act like it was intentional and rory was being a selfish brat (as fandom is wont to do wrt rory lol) and it's just like she literally couldn't do anything, and it completely ignores that rory was so excited and proud of her mom and she got richard and emily there to see their daughter's accomplishment, like rory cared so much! she was not being selfish when she was certain she could make it to new york and back without a problem, like she didn't know she would get stuck on the bus ride from hell!!!

also if rory had been there, the moment between lorelai and her parents would not have been so poignant WHICH it's not rory's fault at all, but you notice that most of the sweetest moments between the are when rory is not there because lorelai doesn't have that "rory is the daughter they really always wanted" feeling hanging over her. like, little things like richard kindly letting lorelai escape when emily tries to set her up with that boring dude or emily taking care of lorelai while rory is at the dance, or in bon voyage and lorelai assures an uncertain emily their friday night dinners will continue and when richard points out that the party for rory is due to the amazing life lorelai created for the two of them in stars hollow like all these things happen without rory there. and like i said, it's not her fault, but i think generally the most emotionally vulnerable moments between lorelai and her parents, the ones that don't have them grating on each other are when they're on their own, so ultimately it WAS better for all three of them to share that moment simply as two parents seeing their daughter reach a milestone they otherwise never would've gotten to witness her do

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls- Season 2, Episode 22 (Last Episode of the Season). "I Can't Get Started" Part 3. Aka The Lore & Crusty Pork Party, Aka This Is Not A Post For People Who Like To Read Nice Things About Lorelai Gilmore

Can't believe how close I am to wrapping up the 2nd season, ya'll. And It only took me over a year to get here. Bout ready to tackle The Jess season. Yipes. Feel free to waste your life and catch up on the previous 40-some odd recaps here

They're confused about what just happened because foreplay from Crusty is a foreign concept to both of them.

This is usually the part on Forensic Files where we learn of the victim's last known whereabouts.

Well, his track record with you seems to be pretty good so far so he figures the odds are in his favor.

At least it's...indoors this time.

Ma'am, you really just engaged in sexual intercourse at your place of employment. I hope you didn't leave any fun surprises for your maids. Lorelai walks into the kitchen at this undefined time of the night to find Sookie in her wedding dress having a panic attack, attempting to sabotage her wedding cake. Lorelai at first appears supportive and calms Sookie down. She then proceeds to interject herself into this situation in such a mindbogglingly selfish and tone deaf way, one so unbelivable that it blew me away. The only other time I've had to rewind a scene to make sure I had heard something correctly because it was so unbelievable was the time Liz Danes said she drank while she was pregnant. Well here ya go.

And with that fucking GRIN on her face. I think Sookie meant "talk to me about how otters hold hands when they float", not how mere moments ago your ex baby daddy was sticking his Crusty wiener in you. Lorelai Gilmore, you are a terrible friend, you're selfish and thoughtless, you are a bad role model for your child, you're a terrible employer and employee and people only work for you because the tourism industry has the shaky economies of small towns in a stranglehold, you hold grudges against teenage boys while having affairs with other teenage boys, and you gleefully sleep with Crusties and brag about it. And you're just annoying. You are irredeemable. You have built up such a backlog of bad karma there is virtually nothing you could do it in the future to make your soul clean. Sookie pretends to care about whether or not the porking was any good and Lorelai says that it was so she's a liar as well. You can't judge the quality of a porking that only lasts about a minute and a half. Lorelai and Sookie proceed to discuss Lorelai and Lorelai only for the next several minutes and at no point does the subject of Sookie, Jackson, or her imminent wedding return to the conversation. Then Lore has to go. She has to return to her sullied motel room to bring Christopher the snacks he demanded she fetch him.

You... want to hear all the disgusting details of Lorelai and Christopher's hookup...during your wedding? Just before she departs to return to Crusty, Lorelai dips into her near empty barrell of non-selfish thoughts and scrapes it until she finds a "You look beautiful" and a hug for Sookie. L: You go get some sleep. S: And you go... get some!

I envisioned Lorelai taking Crusty's face and shoving it into that plate of food, or just fucking upending the plate, but her maids will have enough work cleaning up their crusty filth so we’ll spare them. I now have "Plate to the face gif" in my Google search history, but my search was sadly unsuccesful. I hope they both choke on a grape. Crusty: What is this? It's good. Lorelai: I don't know, but if Sookie asks who ate it, pin it on Michel. You...did...NOT!!!! Are we sure he didn’t pull a Milton from Office Space and set the Inn on fire in season 3?

Let me remind you that this current season of the Lore and Crusty Naked Wrestling Foundation (LCNWF) started at Rory’s doctor’s appointment and has been less than 24 hours long. L: I have to think about Rory. We can't go changing everything on her now. Glad you thought of the impact of your actions on your daughter for once (after you first expressed concern for the impact your tragic booty call would have on yourself, and then Sherry, THEN Rory). You think she's not used to this crap by now? High on Crusty-Hormones, these two psycopaths decide they're going to "Give things a try" and HEY LOOK EVERYONE! LOOK WHO IT IS!!!!! THE BABY! HI BABY!

He's a wizard.

He returned because he knew we missed ADMIRING THE BABY!!! ADMIRE THE BABY.

From the Conversations I Have Outloud With Myself Files: Me:Okay, he returned. How does he integrate back into society? Me: What are you talking about, Me, Stars Hollow is not society.

That looks like a plain gray tshirt to me (okay, when the camera gets a little closer look it does seem to have some kind of faded, barely perceptible design on it...but go off about the butt shirt, Lucas).

Okuh.

Wish I could travel back to 2016, when I was losing my Gilmore Girls virginity, still a naive little buttercup with no idea he was only going to stick around for one more season. This being on the cusp of season 3, it always hurts.

Luke, being the snitch that he is (remember how he told Jess where to find Rory in 6x8?) informs Jess of Rory's whereabouts at Sookie's wedding, but warns him not to intefere, because Rory and Dean are still together and they have such a good thing going on. How he knows the status of their relation-shit these days, I'm not really sure, since he's still freezing Lorelai out and finally enjoying some peace and quiet at work. He is no longer hearing every detail of her and Rory's lives on a daily basis, not getting paid, wishing he could just shove a bunch of donuts in her mouth and shut her up for one god damn minute. Of course, Rory and Dean prove to be more than capable of spending years fucking over their own relationship time and time again without Jess' interference.

Okay, just be back by suppertime, love you, mwah.

[maya-matlin]

If you ever feel like talking about Gilmore Girls: 1) How would you rank the seven seasons from most favorite to least? Feel free to throw in the revival too! 2) Five favorite characters? In order if you can, in any order if you can't! 3) Top three romantic ships despite how much I agree with you about this show being dreadful at writing couples once they were finally together? 4) Top three platonic ships (For instance, Rory/Lorelai, Lorelai/Sookie, Luke/Jess...and I know that you know what the word platonic means, so don't ask why I felt compelled to include examples!) 5) Your five *least* favorite romantic relationships? 6) Five or more unpopular opinions about the show? There's never any pressure to answer if you don't have the time or energy!

Seasons:

1.) Season 3

2.) Season 2

3.) Season 1

4.) Season 4

5.) Season 5

6.) Season 6 (mostly the first half)

7.) Season 7 (mostly for the post-Lorelai/Christopher episodes)

8.) Season 8 (has good moments, but suffers from feeling as though the characters were left frozen in time so that plots could be reworked into being plausible nearly a decade after the show ended and needed to trim A LOT of the unnecessary fat in favor of tighter characterization/development)

Five favorite characters:

1.) Lorelai Gilmore

2.) Luke Danes

3.) Jess Mariano

4.) Rory Gilmore

5.) Emily Gilmore

Top three romantic ships:

1.) Luke/Lorelai

2.) Rory/Jess

3.) Richard/Emily

Top three platonic ships:

1.) Lorelai/Rory

2.) Lorelai/Emily

3.) Luke/Jess

Five least favorite romantic ships:

1.) Lorelai/Christopher

2.) Rory/Dean

3.) Paris/Asher

4.) Luke/Nicole

5.) Rory/Logan

Five or more unpopular opinions about the show:

1.) Even though I don't like Dean and don't feel as though he's consistently written especially after Jess shows up, I have some sympathy for him during seasons 3-5 in regards to his failed marriage. He was a stupid kid who rushed into marriage with a girl he had barely dated while on the rebound and because their families normalized jumping into marriage right out of high school. I think anyone in that situation would have eventually self destructed and blew their life apart. So while I disliked his affair with Rory and believe it was incredibly selfish, it's not totally surprising that it happened. His behavior during his cameo in the revival gives me the impression Dean eventually grew up and ended up happily married once he was ready to be a husband.

2.) Richard is a great character and clearly loved his family, but sometimes he gets a pass for terrible behavior because his presence in the girls' life isn't as consistent as Emily's and because he's much more underhanded and passive aggressive than she is. So even though I missed Edward Herrman's presence in the revival, it was refreshing to see Emily on her own.

3.) Even though the little bit we were given of Jess's arc following season 3 was more good than bad, it's understandable why Rory could never take Jess back. As much as I would have liked to have seen Jess around on a more regular basis to the point he officially reconciled with Rory, he's on the periphery of Rory's life so infrequently that nothing of much significance ever happens. When he's around particularly in season 6 and the revival, he says the right things and gently inspires Rory to make the best decision for her life when she's in a transitional phase. But then, Jess is gone again, and Rory is left with her normal life. Just because Jess keeps popping back up, always a better version of himself than when she last saw him, doesn't mean that she's necessarily the asshole for not wanting to leave something more certain and familiar such as her relationship with Logan to take that chance again with Jess when she's known him to be a leaver. I don't know. This isn't even all that critical of their relationship. I just feel that until Jess finds a way to be in Rory's life and stay there, they don't stand a chance of getting anywhere.

4.) Lane and Zach > Lane and Dave. Lane's relationship with Dave was very sweet and was the first time we saw Lane in a relationship where someone truly understood her. But that relationship was also pretty fleeting and not super memorable in the grand scheme of things. Even though Adam Brody is the better actor and more charismatic, I feel like Zach was Lane's best pairing. While Zach had his flaws and was afflicted with the same curse all Gilmore Girls men have, aka being perfectly pleasant and then blowing up on a semi regular basis to keep the relationship drama going, he truly loved Lane and proved himself to be a devoted husband and father. Their relationship and all the Hep Alien scenes were some of my favorite parts of the later seasons.

5.) I liked the Rory/Lorelai rift. It was painful to watch, but was also necessary from a story line standpoint. Rory needed to make her own decisions independently of Lorelai's guidance. I only wish the story line had ended with the two meeting in the middle rather than Rory conceding on everything so that they could fully make amends.

[cherienymphe]

Very very unpopular opinion which I’m not sure how to justify but Rory>Lorelai. I love love loved Lorelai but I also DESPISED her sometimes and she could be so insufferable. So up her own self, stubborn and treated Rory like a friend more than what was healthy, to the point where when it was time to parent her, she had lost all credibility and ended up going completely in the wrong direction. She could be very selfish when it came to Luke especially, which is of course the same for Rory, but there was something about Lorelai that made it worse.

I am forever a Rory apologist and she definitely had bad traits especially after season 3 and made bad decisions (ahem MY dean 😒) but I can understand her downfall after going from this worshipped gifted kid to a place where she was suddenly nothing 🤷🏽‍♀️

Hmmmm. Tbh they were both about the same to me. Now, if we're counting a year in the life (which I rarely do) then Rory surpassed her mom by a long shot in regards to who sucks more 😭

I will say that there were quite a few moments where Lorelai pissed me off and it was 100% her stubbornness and being stuck in her own ways. I could read Rory down to a T (and often do) but Lorelai deserves her lashings too.

For starters, she never gave Jess nor Logan a proper chance all because she was so far up Dean's ass and that will forever irk me every time I rewatch. For all his flaws, Dean was a pretty good first boyfriend to have. When him and Rory were good, boy were they good so I get it from a mom pov but her mind was made up about Jess and Logan from the get go and my gawd was it so obvious. It's so infuriating.

And it was kind of embarrassing for her to be so stubborn at her big age. However, this is where I will give her some slack because we have to remember she basically raised herself from the age of 16. A child raising a child while growing up her damn self so 🤷🏾‍♀️ but it was equally hilarious and angering how she'd act whenever Rory didn't hate the privileged lifestyle like she did because let's be honest. Rory loved coming from money and the perks that came with it despite what she tried to make herself out to be. Lorelai didn't even know how to begin to handle that.

Plus we also have to look at who her mother is because all 3 Gilmore women could be infuriatingly stubborn (Emily blaming Lorelai for Richard having annual dinner with penolyn Lott or whatever her name was, Rory not speaking to her mom because Lorelai simply told her it was bad to sleep with Dean while he was married and he's not her Dean, Lorelai punishing Rory for falling asleep after the dance even though she knows Rory and knew nothing happened but it happened in front of Emily so 🤷🏾‍♀️)

As for her relationship with Rory, again, she had her at 16. It makes so much sense they'd be more like sisters than mother daughter most times. My mom had me at 21 and that's what our relationship was like 50% of the time growing up but my mom is black and southern so when mother jumped out that was that 😭

[springfox04]

I’ve literally never thought of this and it’s actually so true. I personally don’t really fault Paris for not saying something else in the moment bc she and Rory weren’t close at this part in the show, they didn’t even really consider eachother friends until after this incident, and I still think it was really nice of Paris to speak up at all to try to save Rory’s ass.

Now that you say this though I’m thinking about how much I would’ve absolutely LOVED to see Paris chew Dean up and spit him out hoooooly shit that would’ve been so good and he seriously deserved it.

Also, I’ve been a serious Dean hater and always noticed and hated how possessive he is but something about the way you really explained this situation made me realize how much worse it is than even I might have thought. And notice how in her future relationships, Rory always expects Jess or Logan to be mad about small things, for example when Jess found out Rory was hanging out with Dean at Miss Patty’s show thing (in “Swan Song” I believe) and also in “That’ll Do, Pig” at the winter carnival, in both instances Rory expects him to be angry and he has to insist to her that he’s not bc she expects boyfriends to be crazy angry about things like this bc that’s how Dean was!!! And it’s awful!! And the fact that Lorelai and thus Rory, too, continue to call Dean the perfect first boyfriend when he was so incredibly toxic is just horrible for Rory and also for any teenage girls watching the show bc they shouldn’t believe that THAT is a good example of how the perfect boyfriend should act.

I personally would much rather take the guy who maybe doesn’t always call when he says he will over the angry clingy possessive selfish whiny hothead. And YES Jess does have many other faults too when he’s in hs but I still think Dean is worse 🤷‍♀️

Sorry for this rant, I just have so many feelings about hating Dean!! I’ve written an essay for English class about it! And I could probably even update that with better evidence now.

The current clickbait media/podcast take that Paris was being a "loyal friend" by lying to Dean that she had a crush on Jess so Dean would calm down and not hurt Rory because she was spending a (perfectly chaperoned and relatively innocuous) evening with Jess is really, really messed up. If you have to outright lie to the guy to get him to forgive you for spending time with other people, then he's a possessive asshole who doesn't deserve the courtesy of an "excuse" and should be told that he doesn't get to control who his girlfriend hangs out with (and they weren't even alone! They were hanging out as a group!) However, it's worse than that: Paris lies because Dean is genuinely about to explode into anger and possibly hurt both of them, and it's a last ditch effort to calm him down. This comes (I believe) a few weeks after Lorelai and Rory are turning the house upset down to find Dean's list bracelet because they're afraid of what he will do to them if she doesn't find it and before Rory has to carve out time to explain to Dean that her car has been totaled because she's afraid of how he'll react once he finds out.

It just makes no sense to me that Paris, who has zero tact and is never hesitant to tell anyone that they're full of shit, wouldn't outright tell Rory that Dean was dangerous and she needed to cut him loose. She shouldn't be commended for giving into the idea that Rory needs to be submissive to him and coddle his ego. And in other cases, she isn't. Compare her behavior here to the way she confronts Logan in season 6 after the bridesmaid fiasco and tells him he's worthless and if he died only his Porsche dealer would miss him. Why didn't she defend Rory like that when Dean was literally howling at her for having plans that didn't include him? The whole thing makes no sense to me.

[stellaluna33]

sorry i just saw your post + all the notes about rory missing lorelai’s graduation and for the ppl criticizing her for being “selfish” or “manipulative” i would just like to point out that she was SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD!!! teenagers can be rash and extremely emotional and selfish! no one defending rory is saying that was a great moment for her but holy crap it was hardly maliciously evil. does no one who watched this show remember what it was like to be a teenager?? lol anyway just had to get that out, rory haters always irk me!

Yes, exactly! Is it because Rory generally carries herself in a serious and "adult-like" manner that they expect her to, well, BE an adult? (Before anyone comes at me about the Revival, I'm not talking about that right now)

And about her having impulsive moments from the beginning... well, yeah? That's because they're using it as a storytelling device. Rory normally IS very quiet and contained and likes to have all her ducks in a row, and she tends not to talk about her feelings, so when Rory goes and does something rash (running away to her grandparents in Season 1, skipping school to see Jess in Season 2, sleeping with Dean in Season 4, etc. etc.), it's SUPPOSED to be a signal to the audience that SOMETHING IS WRONG and there's some strong emotional turmoil that Rory isn't dealing with.

In this case, the show even spells it out for you! Rory's freaking out about what she did, and it's meant to lead up to Lorelai's observation that "maybe, honey, you are falling for Jess." Because the entire POINT is that Rory wouldn't just do this for no reason! The entire POINT is to show that her feelings for this boy are way stronger than she wants to admit to herself! Like, did people not pay attention to that part? And yes, Rory tends to be very self-contained physically, so maybe some people would take that as her not being very emotionally involved here, but that is ALSO part of the point! She holds herself in and holds herself in, until eventually she can't and she explodes. And yeah, it's messy, and yeah, there's collateral damage and it's a problem (I mean, there's a reason I sent her to therapy in my fanfiction, haha. That poor girl could use some!), but this is also a TV DRAMA and this is apparently what ASP thinks audiences want. You could say the writers maybe leaned on that device too often. Sure. That's certainly a valid critique. Because it DOES start to lose its "shock value" after a while, and (especially when people binge a show and time seems compressed) it can start to look more "normal" than the writers clearly intended it to be.

But to that point, I don't understand why Rory is singled out for being messy, because there's hardly a character in this show who ISN'T! Lorelai had definitely had a lot of impulsive and self-destructive moments too. But Rory's not "supposed to" be like Lorelai in this way, and maybe that's part of the point too. Rory has been bending over backwards her entire life to please her mother and her grandparents by not acting like her mother, but sometimes... despite it all, she is her mother's daughter, more than anyone wants her to be, and not in the ways she's "supposed to" be. Can't there be room enough and compassion enough to see the complicated beauty and tragedy in that?

[thegoddessoftheunconscious]

Lorelai Gilmore (Gilmore Girls) Personality Profile

MBTI: ENFP

Extraverted Intuition (Ne) - Introverted Sensing (Si)

Lorelai is most definitely an extrovert; she is highly verbal, responsive, expressive, and engaged with the outer world. She likes to jump into stories and uses a lot of metaphors or analogies, coming up with unlikely stories on the spot. She is very witty and often sarcastic; she loves to mock and fins it amusing to assign emotions and names to objects. Often easily bored, she prioritizes having fun as a lifestyle. She has a verbal comment or comeback for any situation, is rarely tongue tied, and has an easy banter with anyone. This is consistent with Ne. On the flip side, Lorelai does not fit in with the Chilton parents, or her own parents; she is too free spirited and outspoken and is not very anchored to her past experiences and traditions. This is her weakness. She seems like she is forever running away from her origins or the moments that made her (Her parents, her family, the world she left behind at 16). She can’t seem to learn from experience, or reflect on the decisions she has made and why she has made them, which makes her blind to her usual patterns (mostly romantic ones) that are, for the people around her, quite obvious. She has a distaste for tradition, etiquette or decorum. She is not someone who is conventional, at all, and she cannot bring herself to do tedious physical tasks (like cooking, exercising, or cleaning). And yet, she can't escape her past. This is all consistent with inferior Si!

Introverted Feeling (Fi) - Extraverted Thinking (Te)

Lorelai is an open-minded, non-judgmental person, and she prides herself on that, being the opposite of her parents and all. Nonetheless, if someone or something she cares about contradicts her own values, you will hear of it, and she won't back down. Lorelai, at times, can be quite stubborn and closed-minded, focused only on how she feels in the moment without taking into account other people's needs or point of views. As a rule, she bases her decisions on how she feels about things, or what she believes is right and wrong, or on how it might impact the people she truly cares about (Rory, Sookie or Luke, mostly). This is consistent with Fi, a function that is, for Lorelai, specifically triggered anytime she comes into contact with her parents and their rigid, conventional world! She judges everyone, from her perceived pedestal of righteousness, the whole time. Her values are the right ones, so these people. in her mind, are all doing it wrong! As for her tertiary Te, you mostly see it in her direct and sometimes tactless nature, and in her efficiency at work. She has no problem being productive and taking control of various tasks, which makes her a skilled manager and owner.

Enneagram: 7w6

Type 7 - The Enthusiast

The Busy, Variety-Seeking Type: Spontaneous, Versatile, Acquisitive, and Scattered

Basic Fear: Of being deprived and in pain

This is a fear that isn't directly explored throughout the show, but can still be discerned. Lorelai was miserable in her parents world; the rules, the boredom, the lack of authenticity, the superficiality. She wanted to be set free; to rebel, to explore, to have fun! She absolutely cannot stand boredom.

Basic Desire: To be satisfied and content—to have their needs fulfilled

This desire if just a tiny bit selfish; which is a trait Lorelai definitely has; she lives in her own world of puns and jokes and stories, following her own rules and constantly bringing people and situations back to a positive emotion. This desire to have all her needs met, mixed with her fear of deprivation, might explain why she has such a hard time committing to a relationship. What if there's something better?

Holy Idea; Wisdom, Sobriety. Sin; Gluttony, Planning.

It would be healthy for Lorelai to stop distracting herself from pain; it detaches her from her own wisdom, and from the people she loves. Learning to acknowledge the half-empty part of the glass helps with sanity, empathy, connection and realism. She must resist her constant need for more, for better, for funnier; by running towards something, you may actually be escaping.

Key motivations: Want to maintain their freedom and happiness, to avoid missing out on worthwhile experiences, to keep themselves excited and occupied, to avoid and discharge pain (remember when Rory and her are in a fight while Rory is in Paris? She never stops working and starts doing her employees' chores instead of admitting or facing her sadness and her anger!).

Sevens are extroverted, optimistic, versatile, and spontaneous. Playful, high-spirited, and practical, they can also misapply their many talents, becoming over-extended, scattered, and undisciplined. They constantly seek new and exciting experiences, but can become distracted and exhausted by staying on the go. They typically have problems with impatience and impulsiveness.

Why she has a 6 wing

We see that Lorelai still has a need to belong; to Rory, to her home, to Stars Hollow, to being an Innkeeper, even to her parents; there are certain foundations she simply never seeks to change or let go of. She has the reliability and loyalty of a six, and does show certain moments of irrationality due to fear, worry and anxiety, although not often.

Hogwart's House (based on sortinghatchat's system)

Slytherin Primary (The why): Lorelai's core motivation is sometimes a little hard to discern, since she is very adaptable and laid-back, and has very few raw emotional moments. What makes Lorelai who she is, I believe, is her incredible loyalty to her own ambitions and to her own people. She will always be there for Rory, for Christopher, for Sookie, and for Luke. Her people always come first, before causes and heroism, before strangers, and before truth or knowledge. We simply see no traces of the motivations that make the other houses. Consistent with this water house, she demonstrates resourcefulness and cleverness, a disinterest of the people she doesn't consider her own (think her parents and the people they socialize with, for example) and a lot of ambition and drive (From maid to manager? Opening her own successful inn?). She is a Slytherin! See; Slytherins are not evil, just a bit more self-centered, which is perfectly fine.

Hufflepuff Secondary (the how): When it comes to her methods, Lorelai would fit right in with Hufflepuff's. She's hardworking and reliable, slowly and consistently working towards her goal. In Lorelai's professional life, everything is earned with effort; her community, her position as a manager, opening her own inn, getting her own inn. You can count on Lorelai to be there, to take care of the things and the people she has invested in. She attains her goals on her own, by dedicating herself fully to her tasks, making them fun, making them her own, and doing them with a smile. By investing in something, one way or another, you end up reaping the benefits.

Just for fun (Quick Typing)

Archetypes

Rebel, Jester, Explorer

Planet

Mercury (The planet of Adaptability, Cleverness, Novelty, Communication and Open-mindedness) and Uranus (the planet of Principles, Originality, Freedom, the Unexpected and Unconventional)

Element

Air (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius) and Fire (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius)

Kibbe body type (of Lauren Graham)

Flamboyant natural (Tall, broad shoulders, angular bones)

Seasonal color analysis (of Lauren Graham)

Clear winter (Looks best in bright cool colors)

[thatscarletflycatcher]

To begin with, in general the whole plotline is a lazy way to force a breakup between Luke and Lorelai and one of the signs of the decadence of the show at that point, so character motivation here is more a creativity job from the audience than an interpretative job.

That said, I don't think Luke is jealous of April loving Lorelai more than him. It is a combination of

a) his whole life he's been the one who has had everything in order and under control, and the one who has had to fix all his family members messes. This situation of having a huge mess of his own is new, and therefore very upsetting and unsettling for a person like him.

b) His "failure" with Jess still hangs upon him. As much as he knows Jess is okay, and as much as I think people over-blame Luke for what happened (I'm sorry that a guy who comes from a dysfunctional family, has spent most of his life putting out fires and working a manual job in a semi-rural town has a hard time trying to raise a difficult, traumatized teenager and isn't super wise and aware and read upon child psychology. Back off. And this aside the fact that I don't believe any behavior from Luke would have changed things in any significant way. It wouldn't have changed Jess and Rory's communication issues, and it wouldn't have changed the fact that Stars Hollow hated Jess and Jess hated it back, and so it wouldn't have changed that sooner or later Jess would have bolted), I do feel he blames himself. April is a second chance at doing it right for him, and he's very scared of messing it up.

c) Anna Nardini is a very jealous mom, and she wouldn't take it as a good sign if Luke had tried to involve Lorelai in "parenting" April. As much as Luke loves Lorelai and we know he is all in, he cannot be certain that she is, and all the Christopher episodes through Luke and Lorelai's relationship, down to her immediately going to sleep with Christopher when Luke doesn't consent to elope with her immediately show that he's not entirely wrong.

Luke's motives aside, I think people really blame him in this plot in a way that isn't proportionate. The man waited around for Lorelai for over 15 years, but the moment Lorelai decides she has a bad juju and if she doesn't marry NOW it won't happen ever, we are supposed to take his needing time to settle down into this new and complicated relationship as selfish and entitled.

I will also die on the hill of s7 doing good by Luke by precisely taking this lazy plotline device and using it to give him back some of the best qualities I think we appreciate in Luke: his generosity, his steadiness, his decisiveness when he knows or at least thinks himself right. I love to see him fight to keep his child in his life.

when I catch you April Nardini-

[literatigifs]

I feel like anyone who likes Lorelai and Christopher mainly likes them for their chemistry, because their onscreen relationship is riddled with a lot of problems, most of which come from Christopher, tbh. I could say that it's also possible that Christopher and Logan obviously have a lot in common (both hail from rich families that they "reject", but not really, they hate the propriety that goes on in rich societies but have no problem using their family's money for whatever selfish thing they want, not to mention the fact that Logan started off as a character model for Christopher), but even Logan in certain moments obviously has a better personality than Christopher, or is at the very least less called out by the narrative.

To be fair, Lorelai and Chris do have good chemistry, the actors really knew what to do with their history and relationship that's never really "over" so much as it's a constant question mark throughout the series' run time until season 7. But for me personally, what makes or breaks the whole thing isn't that Lorelai "rejected" Christopher when she said she wouldn't marry him at 16, it's the fact that Christopher just doesn't care for Rory as much as he should. He's practically an absent father to her for much of the show's screen time, and the only times when he's willing to claim that he's her father is when he actually wants to get together with Lorelai. This happens in season 1 when he asks her to marry him, but she says no because she's well-aware of why he wants to do this, and it happens again in season 5 when Sherry is gone and Emily encourages him to try and get Lorelai back. In between that time, he has no real trouble leaving Lorelai in order to be with Sherry and try to raise his daughter now, but throughout this entire thing, he calls for Lorelai's help numerous times, and she and Rory both have to witness Chris making changes in his life for Sherry and his new daughter, ones that he wasn't willing to make when Rory was in his life. And look, I get that he was 16 when she was born, but he literally had 17 years to make up for his absence. In all this time, he never took proper interest in spending a bigger amount of his time with Rory because he was too busy living his life with the freedom that he actually wanted, a kind of freedom that he wouldn't really have if he actually bothered to care about his daughter. This is what pretty much makes me not like the relationship, because Lorelai is well-aware of how Chris doesn't actually care for Rory the same way she does, and she doesn't want Rory's feelings to be hurt. And no, a 16 year-old Christopher "promising" to take care of Lorelai when he was offered a job with no requirements by her father in order to get married isn't really proof that he "wanted" to be involved, but Lorelai wouldn't let him. If he really wanted to be involved, he would've tried regardless of where he stands with her, but he never does. His involvement with Rory depends solely on what he manages to get with Lorelai, and this becomes glaringly obvious in season 5 to the point where Rory asks him to stop because Lorelai has found happiness with Luke. She even sadly proclaims that she gets "why he wasn't really involved in her life" and honestly after that, I just could never like his character. He's only dependable when it suits him and when it puts him in a good light for Lorelai, but never for his own daughter. Just because he was willing to spend like a day or two in a whole couple of years to hang out with her doesn't mean he's a good father or guardian in the slightest. And it was always clear to me that Lorelai is pretty aware of this. And to Lorelai, Rory comes first.

[randomestfandoms-ocs]

What’s Kirsty’s relationship with Jess like? (I know you touched on it a bit in the Yale ask but I wanna know more!)

Short answer: “true friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people together” meets “slow burn found family”

Long Answer: oh boy buckle up we’re getting an Outline™ bc I really don’t know how to sum it up bc it’s a lot of growth and shit!  it’s like... many many paragraphs so I’m tossing this under a cut bc i don’t want to be murdered lmao

(I’m just... v proud of how much work went into planning out their whole arc and how the dynamic shifts and how certain plots play into things and I just wanted to share it all I couldn’t chill and I’m like half sorry but thank you for this ask I love them)

So when they first meet they don’t really get along because they’re just generally both kind of abrasive and shit, like it’s not personal on either end but they both generally push people away so that they don’t open themselves up to get hurt which makes their first couple of meetings kind of rough

but then there’s the dinner at Lorelai’s and Kirsty went outside because the whole vibe was just setting her on edge, and she hears the Lorelai rant bullshit (hi lorelai he’s seventeen and your an adult grow the fuck up) and as he leaves she goes after him — she tries to apologize for “my mom being... well, the way she is” and Jess immediately snaps back that he doesn’t want her pity, and Kirsty just shrugs and goes “nah dude I get it, parents suck.  My dad is a piece of shit and my mom, well, you’ve met her... not to mention she named Rory after herself and me after my piece of shit dad so I’m sure you can guess who her favourite child is” and just keeps it very chill and Jess takes that a lot better than pity and they end up talking for a bit and are like “yeah okay I can get along with you” and like they aren’t close but they both like pissing Taylor off and giving Luke ulcers so it works well enough

Kirsty absolutely flips her shit when Taylor calls the town meeting about Jess like she tears into him more aggressively than anyone has seen before and basically tells them all to shut the fuck up and “let him at least settle in before you pull out the fucking pitchforks” and goes off on them all for trying to bully a seventeen year old kid out of a town he didn’t even choose to move to and like Luke still gets there and flips his shit too but Kirsty is completely feral calling out the hypocrisy and telling them to get off their high horses and pull their heads out of their asses — like they might not be close but Kirsty is so far beyond pissed at the idea of Taylor calling a meeting literally just to get everyone to hate Jess that she can’t just stand there quietly 

Fast forward a bit and they’re getting along a bit better, Kirsty spends so much time at the diner that she and Jess have taken to talking during Jess’ shifts and Kirsty helps out when she can so they’re starting to actually get along, Kirsty has figured out the tells for when Jess just can’t deal with people anymore and will make up all sorts of excuses to get him a break (anything from ‘hey can you read over this essay’ to ‘hey did you remember to grab that book from upstairs’ to basically anything else that comes to mind) which he appreciates and when he’s on his breaks he sits at the counter to do homework with her

By the Bracebridge dinner they’re like actually friends, and when Jess meets Tristan for the first time he’s fully prepared to hate him but when he sees how shitty Lorelai is being about Tristan he’s just like “okay guess we’re in the same boat” so the three of them end up working together to stay as far away from Lorelai as possible for most of the night and Kirsty is just very grateful for the buffer because like she just can’t deal with Lorelai and Jess remembers her comment on the “you can guess who the favourite is” and starts to see how much Lorelai’s disapproval actually bothers Kirsty

fast forward even more to Christopher coming to town and with Sherry and all that and oof Kirsty is not okay like her relationship with Christopher is terrible and Jess kind of knows this already (based on the fact that Kirsty asked Luke to stand in for her dad at the debutante ball because she wanted nothing to do with Christopher; and he’s heard her bitch about him before) but when Christopher and Sherry come to the house, Kirsty excuses herself for “dance rehearsal” and runs over to the diner and Luke is out at the moment and Kirsty is Not Okay™ and Jess is the one who sees her just standing in the doorway shaking and clearly about to start crying and he just quietly leads her up to the apartment and sits down and lets her sort of collapse on the couch and she tells him about Christopher and about how unreliable and flakey he always was and how Luke has always been more her dad than him and he always shows up and tries to play happy family and then bails as soon as he gets bored or something comes up and about how now he’s apparently changing and becoming mr family man and why wasn’t she worth changing for

and jess has no idea how to handle this whole breakdown because he's a little bit emotionally stunted (which is fair and so is she) but it definitely resonates with him and he ends up sitting next to her and telling her that if Christopher wasn’t willing to change for she and Rory then it’s because of him not her and trying to comfort her even though he really doesn’t know how, and ends up opening up to her about Liz and his life before Stars Hollow too.  It’s more than either of them have shared with anyone before and it’s very strange tbh — at this point they’re definitely veering into the friend category but neither of them would admit it, not to mention they don’t talk that often because neither of them wants to deal with a Lorelai Gilmore Hissy Fit, you know?

(also a sidenote, Tristan is completely chill about literally all of this like he and Kirsty are the healthiest relationship and have very good communication skills now and he's just like “hey I don’t live nearby and Kirsty hates cars, I’m just glad she has someone to talk to”)

and okay so now we’re at the episode where Lorelai accuses Jess of stealing the bracelet and this is just as Kirsty is getting home, and Lorelai is more of a bitch than in canon (but seriously Lorelai grow up and let Dean deal with his own relationship issues ugh) — as Jess is leaving, Kirsty turns around and calls Lorelai out on being an absolute bitch and on the fact that she’s an adult and Jess is seventeen and to grow the fuck up because she’s acting like her mother and believe it or not she doesn’t actually know everything.  Kirsty then sort of storms off, and Jess ends up walking with her and just goes “hey, thanks for that” and Kirsty goes “don’t mention it” and they just sort of laugh and part ways so she can go to Miss Patty’s but anyways I’m soft for Kirsty fighting the entire town for him

then we have the hilarious scene of Kirsty looking Dean in the eye, knowing full well that he literally just saw her getting out of Tristan’s car, and going “yes I’m completely in love with jess is that a problem” and jess going “oh Kirsty I’m really flattered but while you were gone I started talking to Paris and I think I’m in love” and they’re just such little shits I love them

and okay now I promise we’re getting close to the speedrun part of this relationship lmaooo

so Kirsty is the one who ends up tutoring Jess and like he’s not on the verge of flunking because Kirsty has already been forcing him to do his homework semi regularly but he has trouble staying on task (he’s a mood) so Kirsty is basically there to make sure that he gets all of his final projects done — they take a break to go get ice cream and the car accident happens and Kirsty gets injured and she’s having a panic attack and she begs Jess to stay with her so he does, she lies to the hospital staff and tells them that he’s her step-brother so that he can stay with her because she’s afraid of hospitals and doesn’t want to be alone.  He stays with her until they hear Lorelai and then sneaks out the window; at this point Kirsty has finally called him her friend — while high on painkillers and introducing him to Richard and Emily, who she had him call because she knew Lorelai wouldn’t (they like him much better in this !verse than canon because Kirsty knows how to play them lmao)

Lorelai still pitches a fit to Luke and Jess still leaves and jesus christ when Kirsty finds out about all of that she flips her shit even more than she did at the town meeting, calls Lorelai petty and selfish and a shit mother and tells her that she’s more like Emily than she wants to admit, and this is very possibly when Kirsty finally drops one of my favourite lines of hers — “you and Rory might be best friends first and mother daughter second but I never needed a best friend, I needed a mom.  And now I don’t want either.” — and crashes at either Luke’s or Miss Patty’s (and is not thrilled when she finds out that Lorelai called Christopher and that he’s now back and awnting to play dad again)

fast forward and Kirsty knows Jess is in New York but they haven’t talked and Sookie’s wedding happens and Kirsty and Lorelai have their huge fight (this is the other point where that favourite line might happen, I’m torn) and Kirsty packs up and moves to New York for the summer to play Victoria in Cats on Broadway

She gets to New York and she’s staying at a hotel provided by the production company and she’s lonely and miserable and she’s never really been alone before and low and behold she stumbles into some diner on the verge of tears (just a bad day and everything is too much and she’s about to break) when all of a sudden she hears “wow, deja vu.  Coffee?” and she turns around and low and behold it’s Jess Mariano.  She accepts and sits at the diner until his shift is done and then they leave together and catch up and he offers to be her tour guide, and over the next week they become really close (all of both of their coworkers think that they’re siblings at this point) and blah blah lots of details I won’t get into bc seriously how many paragraphs is this thing, but Emily and Richard end up renting Kirsty this huge penthouse apartment and she manages to convince them to let Jess live with her and they become super close and kind of codependent and skip right over the friend stage to the “this is my brother, Jess” stage lmao and basically everyone in stars hollow except for lorelai and rory (bc kirsty and lorelai aren’t talking for most of the summer and rory is in dc so she and kirsty aren’t talking much either) know because they all came out for her opening weekend and everyone thinks it’s hilarious and their new york friends think Luke is their dad bc he called them “my kids” without thinking about it

also Tristan visits as much as he can get away with and seriously he and Jess become really good friends too and they’re just like, an iconic trio okay I love them

fast forward they go back to stars hollow together the day of the summer festival thing and that’s when Lorelai and Rory find out about their friendship and Lorelai is Not Happy and then Tristan shows up and the three of them are being adorable and having a great time and Lorelai flips out and there’s yet another fight (seriously Lorelai pls stop assuming you always know best, you don’t) and the fight is angsty but there’s the softness of jess finally really accepting that Kirsty meant it when she said that things weren’t going to change when they got back to stars hollow and they don’t and it’s just great

and in season 3 they’re just still all soft and codependent and Lorelai is forced to accept that Jess knows Kirsty better than she does and Rory has some really fun “what the actual fuck” moments watching Lorelai & Luke and Kirsty & Jess have the exact same arguments because Kirsty did inherit Lorelai’s ability to annoy people into doing things like participating in town events and season 3 is just very very soft and there are so many scenes/episodes that I’m so excited for

and anyways this was so long and I’m sorry but also I’m not because like i just really love this dynamic and I want to just like skip two seasons and just write new york & season three because i love them so muchhhhhhhh and anyways yeah 

TLDR they’re a slowburn rivals to found family with a speedrun towards the end and i fucking love them so much

[funkymbtifiction]

Hey what type do you think Luke’s Nephew Jess is from Gilmore Girls?

INFP 4w5. Not sure of his social stacking, might be soc-blind... but then, so much “going against” of social norms is actually heavily social, because you’re aware of them and resisting them, whereas soc-blinds are oblivious to them.

He’s a good example of an unhealthy Fi-dom, in that if he doesn’t want to do something, he doesn’t show up, bother to do his homework, or let anyone know he won’t be there, etc., because “I don’t feel like doing it.” He sees no reason to attend class or finish school, because he under-values academic achievement (inferior Te problem, plus just a Jess problem). He ignores the fact that Rory has a boyfriend and tries to steal her away from him, by doing whatever he feels like doing through opportunism, but then runs away after the car accident, to avoid confronting people’s angry feelings toward him. He has an anti-social streak that doesn’t want to absorb into the masses and regards most people, things, etc., with disdain. He’s smart and well-read, able to see the symbolism in books, but has no ambition, drive, or desire to succeed for a long time. And then there’s the fact that later on, Rory’s Fe tendency to people-please runs up against his Fi-ish disdain for “fakery.” If I remember right, he matures a lot but at the moment, I’m still in my season two rewatch and he’s being “problematic.”

I’m not just being “hard” on Jess. I said that to show you how an unhealthy IFP can act. The truth is, Jess is deeply hurt about his mother abandoning him and he’s acting out to cover up his insecurities. He has developed a “tough guy” attitude to cover up how painful life is for him; as a Fi-dom, he’s sensitive to criticism, genuine conflict (not the kind he blows off, where he sasses Luke, but the meaningful, deep kind that involves pain and loss), so he copes with his inner torment by reading books to escape the real world, by disrupting things around Stars Hallow to “act out” his pain (like stealing gnomes), etc. So what you see on the outside is just a manifestation of his inner anguish. In a sense, Luke is right to draw some hard lines with him, because as much as he hates it, Jess needs some kind of stability, someone who won’t abandon him, and structure in his life in order to feel secure. But Lorelai accusing him all the time, seeing him as a “problem” that is threatening her daughter, etc., is wrong. Jess “needs” Rory to coax him back into participating in the human race. It’s just he wears so many thorns, it’s hard for anyone BUT Rory, who has a sweet, non-judgmental nature, to give him a second chance.

TBH, Rory doesn’t have great taste in boyfriends. Jess is selfish and arrogant, and Dean is controlling and driven by insecurity. I feel like they wrote Dean as a hybrid between ISTP (mechanical expertise) and ISFJ traditionalism, but a 9w8 or a 6w5 ISTP might make the most sense for him (he built Rory a car, and has inferior Fe passivity followed by outbursts all the time). Not that you asked. ;)

[saltygilmores]

Just wanna say I love your acct and I wholeheartedly agree with everything you say about dean and lorelai.

I swear Dean has no good moments in the show at all.

Lorelai imo has at least three; realizing Emily doesn’t have anyone to vent to the way she has Rory and so she goes and sits with Emily and tells her she’s there if Emily wants to talk; getting a dvd player and stack of musicals for Emily so she has something to do in the evenings when Richard is gone bc she really had no reason to do that; and calling Rory out for having an affair with dean, esp telling her she doesn’t get to call dean “her dean” anymore bc he’s Lindsey’s husband(tho Lindsey 100% deserved better. She tried to hard to make him happy and make their marriage work and he could not have cared less) and that she can’t blame the wife for the husband cheating. Weird that she’s the voice of reason in that moment tho bc she was also the person who went and slept with Chris after having a fight with Luke soooo kind of a hypocrite but yk

Thoughts?

I won't deny she has her moments, and as much I like to snark that Luke wants to kick her out of his diner or bash his head in wtih a frying pan rather than listen to her talk and such, I really do enjoy their flirtationship. Sometimes I do pity her for the way Emily treats her/talks to her. She's a hyprocrite, she's immature, selfish, and stubborn, her obsession with Dean and her insistience on going to the ends of the Earth to defend every shitty thing he does to Rory is gross, half the time she flat out doesn't even listen to Rory and gives her terrible advice, the on-and-off thing with Christopher is disgusting, she's completely rotten to Jess for no reason, sometimes she treats Sookie like crap, I could go on and on. Don't like her. I watch and enjoy the show for many other reasons besides the titular characters. Glad you are enjoying my Tumblr :)

[lovelylogans]

Opinion on lorelai gilmore? And also on lauren Graham?

i actually don’t know a ton about lauren graham outside of gilmore girls! i know she’s doing “zoey’s extraordinary playlist” now and i think she was in parenthood before that? so, ya know! seems like she’s doing good!

lorelai gilmore, on the other hand, i have A LOT more opinions about lorelai. the basis is this: i think she’s a very unique, well-crafted, and enjoyable character to watch; she obviously has her flaws and her bad moments that make me want to reach through the screen to yell at her, but on the whole i find her as the main character compelling! 

so after i say all THAT i’m gonna get into her flaws lol

lorelai is this very unique blend of a character who was forced to grow up too fast and yet still immature; i think some of that can be found through her clothes and interests, esp in season 1 (the b-52s shirt, for instance, and all of her music shirts that go back to musicians of her teen years, her fuzzy cat clock that purrs as an alarm, the various eccentric decor items that you wouldn’t typically find in An Adult™ house) and so i do think that affects her parenting of rory; while the “best friend” effort to your kid can be a good one (my mom, for example, was fairly similar in that we are friends) she also didn’t pull out the mom card very much outside of insisting that rory go to chilton in the pilot. 

for example, i think that lorelai really should have pulled mom card at rory for her Thing with dean at the end of season four outside of sending rory to emily to go to europe (which, now i think on it, could be early foreshadowing for the yacht situation) like. i get it. you want to be there as a supportive ear for your kid. however. she knowingly slept with a married man. that is something you sit her down and talk to her about, which you can do supportively—ask her if she wants someone else to talk to in form of therapy, for example. help her walk through if she really wants to do this, help her figure out how to break up with him.

(i do think rory had a point in pointing out that she had slept with christopher when he was engaged to someone else, and lorelai goes “oh, i set a bad example for you ONE TIME???” ma’am. yes. literally yes. that was a huge event in your lives—you and rory were fully expecting for christopher to be back in your lives only for him to double back on it? that hurt her. that clearly had an effect on her.)

on a similar note, though, i find it interesting that she pulled mom card on jess, insisting he was a bad kid and all trouble when he is, one, the nephew of a very close friend of hers, two, clearly going through some shit, and three, literally just drew a chalk outline in front of doose’s? and yet she keeps telling rory to stay away from him? i think that the writers really could have shown some parallels through jess and lorelai that they just didn’t invest enough time into; showcasing lorelai’s distrust, for example, because jess reminds her of herself and christopher through a parallel would have gone a long way in explaining that.

another thing lorelai should have pulled mom card for: the yacht situation. to me it is wildly out of character that lorelai refuses to speak to rory once she decides to take a break from yale. lorelai did not graduate from high school. she has prioritized rory’s education for rory’s entire life. rory has been an enthusiastic straight-a student, excepting the period of time where she was adjusting to chilton’s standards. it really should have tipped off to lorelai that something is wrong with my daughter. she’s repeating her mom’s mistake, in some ways; emily refused to hear of lorelai stepping outside of her plans for lorelai’s life, and in a lot of ways lorelai does the same thing. which is ironic, considering so much of her parenting is her wanting to do the opposite of what emily did.

another flaw of hers that people talk about is her being self-centered, which on one level i get (sookie being so firmly relegated to Sidekick for example) but on another, it’s a sitcom. she’s the main character. things revolve around her. i think that there definitely are times where lorelai is selfish and not quite as great a friend/girlfriend as she could have been, though—sleeping with christopher at her parents’ house instead of comforting her child, during “christopher returns,” and also in that same episode ditching luke and their painting plans?—so i agree with that critique on some level. 

i think lorelai gets (a bit unfairly) ragged on a lot for her relationship with emily, and people saying that lorelai was overreacting to how the friday night dinners were in exchange for chilton; however, financial abuse is a very real thing, and verbal and emotional abuse are also very real. it’s clear that their relationship is unhealthy—i think lorelai is valid in her upset with emily a lot of the time. however, i do think that lorelai is also unfair to emily a lot. so. that relationship is so nuanced and interesting, tho, so 

so, like, overall, lorelai definitely has flaws—i haven’t even gotten into her as a romantic partner—but again, i do really like her character. she’s vivacious and funny and independent and unafraid to speak her mind. flaws make a character interesting—they also provide more to talk about, so. ergo why i’ve talked about her flaws, lol

[bcdaily]

Oh my god I'm so glad you watch Gilmore Girls because I have sooo many feelings about that show. Most people acknowledge that Rory, after like season 2, already starts showing signs of selfishness, and being completely oblivious to the fact that everything is handed to her. But Lorelai can honestly be so mean at times. They have such a small circle of friends, and basically look down on and make fun of everyone else, especially in the revival, and it really bothers me.

It was honestly one of my all-time favorite shows and something I used to rewatch ALL the time...but it hasn’t stood the test of time as much as others. I think because as I’ve gotten older, and developed as a writer, it became even more clear that the Palladinos created a show that always, always, chose their own scathing wit and sense of humor above the characters’ development and growth. And while that makes for some shit good lines and moments, when you stand back and look at GG objectively, and how the show progresses, that becomes a bigger and bigger issue. It’s like the point of their show was that people never change or learn. It’s cyclical in a really really cynical way. The revival ESPECIALLY threw that in your face in an ugly slap, but the later seasons did too. More removed from it now, that becomes something I wince at a bit more.

I’ll still love it. The characters are interesting and complex and did something no one else was doing at the time for female characters. Their worlds are fun and quirky and loved. But small. Very small. And I think the one thing I always revered the show for--the writing--is actually not as amazing as it seemed.

[drshebloggo]

Ask box: JUSTICE FOR LANE KIM, a breakdown.

Anonymous asked: Do you know why Lane disappeared from the show as Rory's best friend over time? She appeared every now and then, yeah, but it has always bothered me that she slowly faded from being Rory's best friend to nobody... am I remembering things wrong?

I do not know! The Palladinos make decisions that sometimes are simply beyond my comprehension.

It’s been awhile since I watched Gilmore Girls in its entirety (and I kind of selectively ignore a lot in the last two, three seasons) but I don’t think you’re remembering things wrong. I will say, though, that the show faced a challenge with all of the Stars Hollow supporting ensemble when Rory went off to college. It’s these kind of problem-making focus shifts that I find really interesting, and they are UBIQUITOUS across teen/high school shows when a character or ensemble graduates.

Most of them that I can think of are done poorly, maybe with the exception of Friday Night Lights. But in defense of these shows, it’s HARD. How do you embrace a fundamental shift in the entire premise of your show? How do you deal with the new geographies of this shift, and the way they ripple into beloved character dynamics? How do you evolve a character through an engaging and meaningful arc without abandoning the foundation on which they were built? And how do you still capture your audience’s attention when there’s a risk that you’re leaving behind the magic that captivated them in the first place? IT’S HARD.

So in the case of Gilmore Girls, Rory at Yale is the shift that moves the show into a new paradigm, and it’s a big one. She’s separated from Stars Hollow and slowly beginning her emancipation from Lorelai, which is, on principle, painful for the audience because it’s directly against the show’s premise. (It’s no coincidence that the Palladinos starts seriously building the Luke-and-Lorelai-of-it-all once Rory’s away at college. Give that empty-nester some new story!)

Of course, Lane is right behind Lorelai in the list of People in Stars Hollow that Rory is Leaving Behind. How is Lane supposed to stay a part of Rory’s story when Rory is in a new context, and Lane is not? But, truth be told, Lane was ALREADY in this role. In seasons 1-3, LANE, not Lorelai, was #1 on the list of People in Stars Hollow that Rory is Leaving Behind. Ultimately Gilmore Girls is a story of two worlds, and Rory going to Chilton begins her passage across the into the New (Old, with Baggage) World. Lane is already being left behind, to some degree, and in seasons 1-3, there’s still room in the show’s universe to address those issues and give Lane some good storylines of her own, especially in conjunction with Rory.

So it’s possible that the issue is not necessarily one of screentime or setting. Whenever I hear the rebel cry of JUSTICE FOR LANE KIM resound in my heart chambers, I mostly think of the kinds of storylines that befell her in the later seasons, not simply in their detachment from Rory. Heeding her mom’s insistence that she attend Seventh Day Adventist college. Fracturing her relationship with her mom in order to pursue her dreams. Getting kicked out of her home. Living with her two boy bandmates who are very stupid and very messy. Never really getting the band off the ground. Her first sexual experience being terrible. Her first sexual experience being terrible AND yielding a pregnancy with TWINS. Why do the Palladinos hate Lane Kim!!! The only thing I wholeheartedly love about Lane’s later storylines is Luke hiring her to work at the diner and then being completely overwhelmed by her sheer competence.

It’s probably important to note that the mere construction of Lane Kim’s character is a bit tragic. The Palladinos are VERY good at building conflict and tension into what seems like simple character descriptions. Here’s this girl that loves rock music to an obsessive, encyclopedic level, wants to play drums in a band, and she’s from a strict religious household where she can’t express any of that. The description itself inherently means that things are going to blow up for Lane at some point. That’s okay, to some degree - that’s conflict, that’s drama, that’s good story.

So if we look at Lane’s arc pre-blow-up, and post-blow-up, the satisfying thing would be for Lane to experience some kind of happiness or success living unstifled in her dreams, to offset the trauma that her family relationships are ruined (at least for the time being). But the Palladinos don’t even do that! It’s encapsulated in the incident that tears apart Lane’s relationship with her mom: she goes to play at CBGB, her mom finds out and kicks her out, and the band doesn’t even get to go on!! The Palladinos love PAIN.

And okay, fine, there’s still some defense that that is well-designed drama and story. (And Lane and her mom do reconcile eventually, and it was at least very affecting, from my memory.) I guess you could argue that Lane IS happy with how things turned out after the lifelong lie she’s lived completely unravels and she’s able to just exist, unguarded. But also... the Palladinos wrote her that way??? And regardless, for me, the issues arise more down the line with Lane essentially staying in Stars Hollow. Wouldn’t unshackling herself from the yoke of her mother mean that she’s free to pursue her dreams? And wouldn’t pursuing her dreams necessitate her to ALSO leave Stars Hollow, like Rory herself? Would she not try to scrape together money to move with the band to New York City and hit the big time? (Bear in mind, I have no idea how the music industry works.)

Ultimately, Lane’s story in the later seasons puts the writers in a Catch-22. If she leaves Stars Hollow and goes somewhere else to pursue her dreams, she’s almost certainly written off the show. She’s a supporting character, and they can’t open up a new world beyond Stars Hollow and New Haven, just for her. On the other hand, if she stays in Stars Hollow, in keeping with the geographies of the universe, she stays on the show, and just... gets really disappointing storylines. I’d be inclined to keep giving Keiko Agena a paycheck. 

(Now, the fact that WB threw money at a backdoor pilot for Jess Mariano to go to California and open up a new world for a weakly-premised spin-off, and did no such thing for Lane Kim, is some bullshit. Literally “moving to the big city to live a dream” is SUCH a well-worn trope that all the storylines are essentially handed to them, and it’s almost inherently refreshed because Lane is a Korean-American woman and not a brooding white guy or a quirky white lady. You FOOLS, you could’ve made that show with your EYES CLOSED.)

Anyways.

I’m going to meander my way further off the main point for a moment to kick up some dust on JUSTICE FOR RORY GILMORE as well. When you write ten paragraphs lamenting Lane Kim’s eternal relegation to supporting role, it’s hard not to be cranky about affording world-opening and story-building for a main character instead. (Spin-off Jess very much deserves the crank, though.) But, frankly, the unyielding walls that the Palladinos built to construct their very effective Two-World Universe don’t do a lot of favors for Rory Gilmore either, in the end.

Basically, this construct of Stars Hollow ensemble and New Haven future means that Rory is the only one who will “get out” of Stars Hollow, because she is structurally decreed to do so. It’s the massive conflict that the Palladinos smartly built into their little generational premise: Lorelai fled her parents’ world, and Rory will slowly be lured back into it. Pain ensues. This is good drama. This is good story. This is story that will last seven seasons and six-hour revival.

But it also inadvertently makes Rory the Chosen One, in a story that doesn’t need one. This is not Joseph Campbell’s Hero with a Thousand Faces, and I’d like to believe that even Paris and Rory wouldn’t want it to be, much as they love the Power of Myth. Lorelai divests her entire life into Rory’s success; the town of Stars Hollow wants Rory to spirit out of their small town and Be Great; Rory’s grandparents expect her to follow in Richard’s footsteps and also carry out their orphaned dreams for Lorelai. And then the Palladinos choose little things that further this: Lane doesn’t ever leave Stars Hollow; Paris doesn’t get into Harvard but Rory does; Luke interrogates any boy that comes near Rory because no one is good enough. (I confess, I’m charmed into forgiving the last one.)

It’s much too much to put onto one character and leave unaddressed!!! It’s also why some audience members just really hate Rory, in a really unfortunate knife-twist on an otherwise-winsome main character. They hate the unwillingness of the narrative to acknowledge this very obvious dark and specific underside to Rory’s specialness, and the unwillingness of people within the narrative to name this very obvious dark and specific underside about Rory. But to paraphrase Jessica Rabbit: she’s just DRAWN THAT WAY!

Rory’s storylines never really confront the idea that she has had FAR too many unrealistic expectations put on her by literally everyone that’s ever existed in her life, and what it might mean if she doesn’t live up to them. What does it mean if she’s not Christiane Amanpour? What does it mean if she’s scared of disappointing people? What does it mean if she’s trying to live up to other people’s standards rather than examining what she really wants?

The Palladinos completely ignore this, and simultaneously give Rory multiple meltdowns (cheating with Dean, being cowed by Mitchum Huntzberger, stealing a boat, quitting Yale, an aimless/struggling career) and they never QUITE dig into the complete dark and specific issue at the core of Rory’s character construction... which just exacerbates the Rory hate. Rory has no self-awareness; the writers give her no self-awareness; we go in circles, and every few years there’s a slew of thinkpieces about how selfish and awful Rory is.

What makes it worse is that those questions outlined above are essentially applicable for two other women on the show: Lane Kim, and Lorelai Gilmore II, herself. Lane, like Rory, doesn’t quite bust through and answer them wholly. Lorelai, however, comes into the show having already answered them, years before, when she was a headstrong and tenacious teenager. The idea that neither Rory, her actual daughter, nor Lane, her spiritual inheritor of Parental Disapproval, are ever able to grapple with those concepts in a real way, and blossom into self-defined adulthood the way that Lorelai did is maybe the bottom line on where Gilmore Girls went “wrong.” Lorelai’s legacy is not that she’s hyperverbal, loves junk food, and got pregnant young. It’s that she rejected the expectations of her forebearers and carved out a place in the world for herself by her own definition, for better or for worse. It’s why Lorelai comes out of the narrative like a Super Mom, when in fact she’s still just as deeply flawed as Emily or Rory, and why Stars Hollow is overall magical and cherished despite it serving as a small-town hometown for Rory to leave behind. And it’s why A Year in the Life was SO satisfying for Emily Gilmore, because she proved it’s never too late to answer those questions and break through to the other side. Perhaps we’ll get enough revivals to see the same happen for Rory, and for Lane.

But enough dust about Rory. I think, after all this nitpicking, there were two options for the best way to have handled Lane Kim after Rory went off to college:

1. Give her a backdoor pilot and spinoff to Band Dreams NYC. Which, of course, was not in the Palladinos’ control, so, y’know, fine.

2. Keep Lane in Stars Hollow and give her a chance to answer those questions about self-definition and live out a few years of Lorelai-like hard-but-happy independence (and better sex) before saddling her with Zach and two babies (if you MUST). Bonus points if she moves in with Lorelai and they bond over being fundamentally disappointing to your parents and also missing Rory. A very good obvious choice.

Secret option 3. Just let Lane move to New Haven and live with Rory and Paris off-campus, and give me the goddamn roommate comedy of my dreams. Honestly this is what they should’ve done. Forget everything I said. This is my answer.

Tiny footnote: I cannot BELIEVE, that after twenty years, I am just now realizing how on-the-nose it is that Lorelai escaped from the clutches of New Haven and started a new life for herself at a place called INDEPENDENCE INN. Truly, it was right there in front of me and I didn’t even notice. This oversight might weaken the integrity of the thousand-paragraph essay I rattled off above...