#loony cries

[vulgarloon]

I tried, I really tried to be a good, nice and approachable human being. I respected boundaries, real and imaginary, in fear of causing pain. I smothered my desire to tap your shoulder or hug you, because I felt like it’s too early, like you don’t wish for it, you don’t want me touching you. Don’t want me. I shared food and treats because that’s how I share love. I cared and offered help and I didn’t wait for anything in return, because I thought that love is not a transaction. I waited, I sent stupid jokes, I worried, I tried to tell you and show you what kind of a person I am.

But you seem silent. You ignoring me feels like a confirmation of the ugly truth that I carry with me my whole life. It’s the fact that inside I am a monster - unlovable, uninteresting, dangerous. I can only induce pain or disregard, because I’m suffocating people, and there’s no hiding it with trying to act nice.

[vulgarloon]

That’s so wholesome. I want more people to read that

it's been said before and i'm sure said better than i can phrase it. but really, really - if you like making "i'm going to kill myself" jokes, please try switching to being ironically conceited instead.

anytime something goes wrong, say things like "ah well at least i'm beautiful and charming and everyone loves me." when you forget something, try "my big huge brain is so smart and thinking about too many other very big wizardly thoughts you wouldn't even understand." when you're frustrated by one of your symptoms, start talking like you're in My Immortal. "Life has come for me but my eyes are beautiful pools of gorgeous fire and my hair is amazing. I stuck my middle finger up at life and told it to fuck off and it did."

just... try it for a month or two. try saying the most absurdly self-congratulatory shit you can think of.

i know it's tempting to make suicide or self-harm jokes. and for me at least, a decade ago (!) when someone suggested i stop making those kinds of jokes, i was kind of at a loss for what to replace them with. i wanted to make light of these moments, but genuinely (at the time) my first thought really was suicidal ideation. there was a part of me that even felt like ... i was kind of "making light" of that voice. that if i could say i want to die lol, it would help take the sting out of that genuine (albeit passive) desire. like i could turn my illness into a joke.

when i started complimenting myself instead, it felt awkward and stupid. it felt really, really ironic. what i was actually saying was nobody would ever think this stuff about me, that's what makes it so fucking funny.

but. the effect was immediate. first thing i noticed was the people around me. when i dropped a glass and said ah my skin is too beautiful and sleek the glass has swooned and broken for me, other people were suddenly overjoyed to jump in with the joke. rather than making an awkward moment, we'd both start cracking up. ah princess sleek hands, i've heard of you.

i was 19. i hadn't noticed i'd been making others tense when i said i want it all to end. i know now that it's incredibly hard to know how to walk that moment - do you talk to them about your concern? do you potentially make them uncomfortable by asking if they're okay? do you ignore the situation? do you help them pick up the glass, or do they need to do it by themselves? are they genuinely made suicidal over this small moment? and most importantly, how do you - without professional training or supplies - actually help?

most people want to help you pick up the glass in your life, they just have no fucking idea how to do it. they don't want to make anything worse. they don't want to make assumptions about you. they love you, they're scared for you - and being scared makes people kind of freeze up. it's not because they don't love you. it's because they do.

now when something bad happens, my first thought is how can i make a stupid joke about this. it isn't my brain saying you're a dumb fucking bitch. i spend more time laughing. i spend more time being gentle with myself. i spend more time feeling good.

and the thing is - what's kind of funny - is that you'd be surprised by how many people agree with you. the first time i said i'm too pretty to understand that, someone else said to be fair you're the prettiest person in this room. i promise - you really don't know how kindly your friends see you. but they love you for a reason. they sort of reverse-velveteen-rabbit you. your weird and ugly spots fade away and you just become... the love they want to give you.

go love yourself ironically. the worst thing that happens is that you end up tricking your reflection into actually loving you.

[v7lgar]

hii, 25 and 11 for ask game!!

hi loonie!

11- When’s the last time you cried?

last night lol

25- What question would you ask the devil?

i'm curious abt his pov so if he could light my cig w his flames and tell me the whole story from his pov that would be lovely

Asks That Start Off Normal But Progressively Get Dark

[dat-lil-shark]

Transformers moments that I will sacrifice my firstborn to see:

One bot snatching energon out from another’s servo, ignite it, and throw it at enemies as a grenade, and the bot whom it got snatched from said “The frag man that was my lunch.”

One bot, in their vehicle form, drove away as Optimus called all Autobots. Meanwhile, a person with hands full of groceries chased after them while screaming.

While investigating a crashed spaceship, one bot tried to take a sip of the energon that got leaked out, and another pulled them away and said “Hey! Control yourself they are dirty.”

A bot getting a “need a car replacement?” poster on their windshield and they cried.

One Decepticon tried to steal some energon from a machine. They disconnected its pipes, sucked on it for a while, and connected it back. But when Megatron discovered them, they punched another con right next to them on the face, till that con got energon on their lips, and they tried to blame it on them.

Ratchet doing a high pitched girl scream that resembled an ambulance alarm.

Starscream flying as Autobots below shoot at him, and Starscream said: “Miss miss miss miss! Hahahaha!” And then he noticed one of his wings did got shot, and he said “Oh scrap,” and then fell in a loony tone way.

A bot cleaning themselves as another car (a normal, lifeless one) parked right next to them, and they screamed and said “OUT OF THE WAY! PERV!”

(TFP exclusive) Raf being grabbed by a Decepticon, and he said, in Cybertron language, “No one will ever believe you.” And that con freaked out so much they dropped him.

(Bumblebee 2018 & ROTB exclusive) One guy proposing a really stupid idea, and ask Bee for his opinion. Bee made a face and played clown music in return. (Bonus if that guy said: “Okay, that’s a cheerful song. It is yes?”)

Two cons being cornered by Grimlock, and one said, “Don’t run. He’s a dinosaur, he can’t see us if we don’t move.” And the second ask: “Are you sure?” And the first said: “Yes I am suurrAAAAAHH—“ (got yeeted by Grimlock)

[emptytcwn]

" that's a fact, " he countered, despite knowing his argument was weak and frankly pathetic. he didn't have any ground to stand on, and he was still trying. he never predicted he'd get himself into a situation like this, where he was actually feeling something for another person. he couldn't let her break him, though. couldn't allow kylie to tear down the walls he'd carefully constructed around himself. he never wanted to care about kylie, never wanted to put himself into a position like this one. he needed to continue to push her away, to convince her that he truly felt nothing at all. maybe he'd be able to convince himself of that, too. " now you're just making up fucking lies, kylie. you know damn well that's not true. you wanted to fuck me as much i wanted to fuck you. you were the one who went and fucked everything up. all i wanted to do was have sex. " he wouldn't take accountability for his actions, despite knowing what he'd done. he didn't talk to other girls the way he talked to her when he was fucking them. she was special to him, and that terrified lucas. he needed to cast those thoughts aside as quickly as possible. " what the fuck are you talking about ? i never fucking asked you for kindness or your grace ! you did that all on your own, princess. i didn't take advantage of shit. funny. i don't recall saying i wanted a second chance. " he knew what she was doing, that her words were extremely targeted. she was hoping to get a specific sort of reaction out of him, and lucas was not going to give her what she was seeking out. inviting that guy over just to rub it in his face. " you think i'm gonna tell you how to dress for some other guy ? be fucking serious, kylie. he's not going to make you feel better. fucking him won't make you miss me any less. " reminded himself to keep it together, to not absolutely lose control. " yeah, actually. they are a fucking inconvenience to me. i thought you and i were on the same damn page this entire time. guess i couldn't have been more wrong. huh ? ─── you should've known better. spending the night isn't as big of a deal as you're making it out to be. " it was, but he was more comfortable residing in his preferred state of denial. " i think you're just lying to yourself. considering the guys you used to fuck before me, you probably just settled and managed to convince yourself that he was satisfying you. " wouldn't let himself believe anything other than that. she was playing with fire, and he was fighting a losing battle. " i think i'll stay, actually. i'll stick around and see if he shows up. if he does, i'll kick his fucking ass if he touches you. got it ? "

she should've known him well enough to know that his words were a threat he'd certainly follow through with. all he wanted her to do was stop talking, couldn't stand listening to her anymore. she was ripping him apart internally despite the chilly demeanor he was wearing. didn't have time to stop and think, feet carrying him towards her hastily. hands gripped at her arms to turn her around, not giving her a chance to speak before lips are crashing against her own.

" that's your opinion . " like a startled turtle , she's retracting back into her shell . giving him crumbs because she's already offered so much of herself up freely . kylie felt like a fucking fool for thinking she was different . at the end of the day , lucas only cares about lucas . he's a damn good actor , though . she'll give him that ─── really had her buying into all the shit he said when his dick was inside her , how wanted in the moment he made her feel . " yeah , it was careless . i wish i could go back to that night i let you take me home and laugh in your fugly face . " if he wants to be treated like a heartless asshole , then that's the exactly what he'll get . doesn't know how he does it , how he's so effortlessly cruel . kylie is reactionary . rarely the type to get caught up in the pettiness so this grid lock of an argument with lucas has her anxiety at an all time high . " god , i really gave you way too much grace , way more than you deserve . you took advantage of my kindness , lucas . you don't get to have a second chance . " mhm . for now , until he texts me back . i asked him if he wanted to come over and talk . . . what do you think he'll say ? is this outfit okay ? " tone is mocking and full of condescension , conveying the same lack of empathy homme displayed when he callously informed of her of who's hole his cock was in last night . " why should i have kept it to myself ? are my feelings that much of an inconvenience for you or do you just possess the emotional intelligence of a fucking slug ? ─── i actually didn't know , lucas , i didn't know a damn thing about what you wanted with me . the lines got kind of blurry when i started spend every night with you . maybe you should've been a little clearer , pal . i'm not going to talk in circles , like , i just explained to you why i'm upset . . . it's not rocket science . " is purposefully taking her time as she replies back to the ex she's texting , feigning as much disinterest in lucas' complaining as she can muster . " i wouldn't've dated him if he couldn't satisfy me . you should probably leave soon , i think i am going to change ─── it'd be super awkward for you to just sit here and watch me get ready for someone other guy . " swallows back her emotion , icy stare wavering so kylie looks away , staring at her reflection in her vanity mirror , chewing on her inner cheek . " i don't want a fake apology . i wanted you to care . at least pretend that i meant anything to you , sucking your dick for the past couple of weeks aside ──── i was your fucking friend for years . "

[hannahmanderr]

Not me also thinking about what it must have been like to be your average Amity Park citizen before the events of "Public Enemies".

Like you're attending a pro-carnivore rally at the local high school after seeing some kid's Reddit post and you're just chilling until out of nowhere the meat reanimates itself and turns into a giant flipping monster screaming about lunch. And then something explodes the monster and you're left scratching your head wondering if you just had a really bad weiner or something.

Or, in a moment of weakness for a good deal, you buy an old CD player off the kid of the local loonies from his garage sale, and later that night said CD player starts glowing green and attacking you before abruptly flying out of the house, never to be seen again. And maybe you're wondering if you just imagined the whole thing, but a few days later the kid comes shuffling up to you with a full refund muttering an apology and something about contaminated tech.

Or you're at the local swap meet/flea market and feeling sorry for the mom of the girl screaming about how much she wants cotton candy and two seconds later a wall of cotton candy slams into you and floods the entire market.

Or you're riding the roller coaster at the boardwalk, and through an amazing stroke of bad luck and flagrant safety violations, a semi careens into the hill of the coaster and somehow splits it in half, sending your train flying and you're wondering how that's even possible in the first place and you're so sure you're about to become a pancake on the pavement when some kid with a bleach job literally flies up to you and catches you and the other riders before setting you down, yelling something about jazz music, and then flying off again, never to be seen again.

That is, until a few weeks later when, in the middle of what you can only guess to be the apocalypse because of the mass invasion (that's apparently limited only to your city) of what everyone is calling ghosts, you're watching the news coverage of the town hall and that same kid is there apparently trying to kidnap the mayor (even though the mayor is the one holding on to him and something is very off about the way the mayor cries for help).

And after that, ghosts are just A Thing in Amity Park. And life continues on as normal, because really, it's already been a little strange around town for a while now. Now, you just have a name to put to it.

[mr-walkingrainbow]

Part 5 of Inside out 2 moments I’m obsessed with ( + Ennui x Anxiety moments I love)

The way little envy just cries out and latches on to Ennui’s leg for stability n comfort cause she’s just a lil thing 🥺. And the way Ennui is just totally fine with it. She’s like the cool older friend who pretends she doesn’t care but secretly loves you. (As shown in numerous moments) Like. Ennui doesn’t show it much but she’s just so casually comfortable with physical touch and I love that. I saw this one promo clip where they’re taking a selfie. And she just rises and flops her head over Embarrassment’s shoulder and rests there and it’s like 🥹 doh! My heart.

Naur the way my gay mind goes brrrr at seeing hot twig tall French lady legs. Like pls world. Give me my Ennui I’ll be the awkward Flip Flop anxiety for you 😭

I actually really liked Anxiety’s animation. Her Euphemisms and expressions are so wide and cartoony. But in a way that it doesn’t discredit her. Like all of her motions and emotions still feel serious. She’s definitely like an 80s loony toons girl, but it’s shown in a way that doesn’t make her look completely ridiculous to the point the audience can’t connect with her.

can I go back to the tall sweater twig gay? Like. Please? God the animators knew what they were doing I swear

[ethearecals]

hi i saw that you were taking requests and idk if this is a good one or too boring (never done this before) but you could always write smth kinda similar to where the reader is james sister and have her be remus or sirius's sister, with sirius you get all that black family drama.

have a nice day and love your writing!!

hi dear! sorry it took me so long to respond i was on vacation! i went with remus but with like a whimsy/luna lovegood esk reader!!

You and Me, Always Forever <3

synopsis; People have always seen and perceived you as a bit odd, a bit whimsy. and you were alright with that. but when your “friends” comment about you behind your back, you go to Remus and Sirius.

pairings: lupin!reader x bigbrother!remus, (platonic obviously ew 🤮), wolfstar

content: reader gets bullied lightly by her friends, remus is the best, sirius is like your older brother because he’s dating remus

“She’s just— so odd.” Lucy— your ravenclaw friend stated.

“Lucy, don’t say that. she’s just different.” Gracie scolded softly.

“She’s not wrong, Grace.” Taylor looked up from her nails.

“it’s just a bit weird how she goes around practically spewing nonsense out of her mouth, i’m surprised Remus doesn’t get tired of it.”

“I sure would if i were him, imagine having your sister being a complete loony!” Taylor ridiculed.

“Oh, Sirius! your Aura is oddly red today!” Lucy mocked, causing Gracie and Taylor to giggle along with her.

what they didn’t know was that you had heard all of that, and it wasn’t very funny to you.

but you had a feeling your aura was a bit blue.

you felt hot tears welling up into your eyes as you ran off from your hiding spot near the library.

why would they say those things? were they right? were you a loony? was remus tired of you?

you didn’t really know, but all you did know was that you needed to find Sirius.

before whispering the password into the portrait hole, you stepped carefully into the Gryffindor common room.

taking in your surroundings, you spotted Sirius. manspread across the couch as he perked up when he saw you.

“little star—!… are you alright?” his excitement faded once he saw your tear stained face, you never cried.

“n-no.” you answered truthfully, the nargles hated when people lied.

“what’s the matter, sunshine?”

he opened his arms just for you to fall into his chest, sobbing lightly as he stroked your scalp.

Sirius had always been like a big brother to you, always so sweet and kind ever since he started dating Remus.

it also helped that you were one of Regulus’ best friends, so you already felt a little connection with him.

“can you tell me what’s wrong, little star?” he lifted your head up gently by holding your cheek.

“m-my friends… s-said i was a loony.. and that Remus is tired of me a-and that i’m odd.” you struggled over your words, as he quietly shushed you.

“those aren’t your friends, sunshine. real friends wouldn’t say that to you.”

you knew deep down he was right, but it still hurt.

“and Remus could never be tired of you, nor could i, or Reggie, or.. Junior.” he wasn’t very fond of you being friends with Barty, but he knew that boy would move the heavens for you.

“he must be annoyed a little..” you added.

just as Sirius was about to protest, Remus walked in with a stack of books.

“star?” he asked quietly, setting his books down on the coffee table in front of the couches.

“Sirius, what’s happened?”

“some of her mean old friends called her some mean names, and she thinks your annoyed with her.” Sirius answered bluntly, yet still kind considering you were right there.

“oh.. star, how could i ever be annoyed with you?” he brushed a small strand of hair from your face.

“c-cause i’m a loony.” you looked up at him shamefully.

“but that’s a good thing, star. it means your different, but different is good.” Remus smiled sweetly.

“i’m a bit of a loony too, but so is Siri, and James, and Pete.”

“y-you are?” you asked nasally.

“of course, sunshine.” Sirius smiled, and you were happy to spend the rest of the day just like that. nuzzled happily into your actual brother and your bonus brother.

[topsyturvy-turtely]

turtely's OTP challenge!

now on AO3! (tumblr link)

read the (slightly improved) 7th part here:

summary: When Mrs. Hudson passes away, the unusual family of three is devastated. Sherlock shuts off, Rosie cries every day and John is desperately trying to keep it together for their sake.

Until one day, Rosie asks for "Lock", and the great detective shows a talent John wasn't aware of yet.

General Audience, 2112 Words. Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Slash, Parent!lock, Minor Character Death, it's sad i am sorry, but it is REEEEAAALLLLY sweet, i promise you won't regret reading this. (i mean you never know but i tried my best to make this rude prompt into something wholesome still)

tag list! (tell me if you wanna be added or removed please 💚) @justanobsessedpan @helloliriels @catlock-holmes @fluffbyday-smutbynight @inevitably-johnlocked @hisfavouritejumper @rhasima @forfucksakejohn @ohlooktheresabee @turbulenttrouble @so-youre-unattached-like-me @totallysilvergirl @peanitbear @train-mossman @loki-lock @smulderscobie @timberva @grace-in-the-wilderness @chinike @jawnn-watson @whatnext2020 @escapingthereality @missdeliadili @kettykika78 @musingsofmyown @7-percent @speedymoviesbyscience @astudyin221b @francj15 @ladylindaaa @we-r-loonies @mxster-jocale @sherlockcorner @noahspector @our-stars-graveside @jobooksncoffee @baker-street-blog @macgyvershe @myladylyssa @battledress @a-victorian-girl @dreamerofthemeadow @oetkb12 @ohnoesnotagain @mutedsilence @jawnscoffee @raenchaosandcozyadashofmurder @lisbeth-kk @quickslvxrr @compact-and-beautiful @kabubsmagga @sunshineinyourmind

[bleucaesura]

STOLITZØ - FORTY FIVE

Blitzø clung desperately to his dreams, not wanting to leave them. They’d felt so real, so warm, so comforting. He’d missed his mother so much… But he couldn’t hold on forever; dreams being what they were.

His eyes felt like they had to be unzipped. He had to concentrate really hard to even peel one of them open a crack.

And thaaaaaat’s enough effort for me…

He couldn’t move. He didn’t feel paralyzed or restrained, just… Powerless.

Someone taze me… F*******ck…

Blitzø squinted and tried to make out his surroundings.

Ceiling. Yup. That’s a ceiling. So I’m inside… Ok.. Some… Um… Hmmm… Oh… Fluorescent lights…? Thank Satan they’re off, my sh*t can’t take THAT right now… Oh look. A window. With a view. Of… night… Aaaaaand rain…

Blitzø tried to swallow

FuuuuuuUUUUUUuuuuck…

It felt like someone had rubbed his throat raw with sad paper.

He tried to lick his lips.

Satan’s a** crack! Who turned my tongue into a f*cking Brillo pad!

Blitzø cried inside.

As he wallowed in self-pity, Blitzø heard a faint ruffle of fabric over by the window. He managed to open his eye a little wider and looked to find the source.

Asmodeus?

The not-so-big man himself stood by the window in his smallest form. The one Blitzø had seen him wear at the Clown Pageant red carpet.

Must be what he wears to blend in…

Asmodeus glanced over at Blitzø, did a double take, looked over somewhere out of Blitzø’s line vision, then moved to Blitzø’s bedside as quietly as he could.

“Blitzø?” Asmodeus whispered, reaching out to touch his hand.

Blitzø tried to answer but only managed a squeak.

F*cking throat. I better not sound like a f*cking squeaky balloon forever.

“Hold on. I’ll go get a doctor and let everyone know you’re awake.”

Blitzø panicked - he wasn’t sure why… Maybe he didn’t want to be left alone?

He managed to grab Asmodeus’s hand before he got away. Asmodeus looked down at him quizzically.

Blitzø tried to swallow and lick his lips again, wanting to talk, but cringed in pain.

“Oh! Water!” Asmodeus turned for a moment, pulling up a chair and a little side table, sat and showed Blitzø a cup of ice chips. “Sorry. This is all I can do for now.”

Blitzø managed to crook what passed as a smile. Asmodeus nodded and smiled back.

Blitzø felt himself being lifted. He heard a whirring and realized Asmodeus must be raising his bed into a sitting position.

Oh look! There’s my hands… And my feet… And…

Blitzø’s heart clenched. Across the room was Loona, Moxxie, Millie and Fizz. He felt tears well up and he thought his heart might actually explode.

The room was dark, so he peeled his other eye open so he could see better. Blitzø could make out a couch and an armchair against the far wall. Fizz was curled up in the chair, in a big fuzzy blanket, like a burrito. Loona, Moxxie and Millie shared the couch.

They never share. Let alone… Cuddle?

Millie had fallen asleep sitting up. Loona was stretched across the couch, but with her head in Millie’s lap, and Millie’s arm around her. And Moxxie…

Satan f*cking dammit Moxxie…

Loona was spooning and holding Moxxie like he was a little Satan fucking teddy bear she’d fallen asleep with.

I’m going to f*cking KILL you Moxxie! Loony won’t even HUG ME!

Asmodeus watched as Blitzø looked at the others.

“They all refused to leave.”

Blitzø looked at him in surprise.

Asmodeus placed an ice chip to Blitzø’s lips for him to suck on.

Ooooooh sweet baby Charlie, that's woooooonderfuuuul…

“Yeah…” Asmodeus looked lovingly over at Fizzarolli. “They’ve all been really worried about you. I should really wake them.”

Blitzø lifted his fingers, managed to force a swallow down and squeaked “No.”

“What? Why?”

Blitzø looked at the others. His heart swelling. He didn’t want to ruin this moment. He crooked a smile.

“Let… Them rest..”

Asmodeus raised an eyebrow looking from Blitzø to the others and back. He sighed. “Oh kay then…”

A few minutes passed in comfortable silence, Asmodeus passing Blitzø ice chips as he finished them.

“I hear you confessed to my man” Asmodeus raised an eyebrow at Blitzø.

Blitzø almost choked on a last bit of ice in his mouth.

Asmodeus chuckled quietly.

“I’m only teasing,” he placed another chip at Blitzø’s lips. “You’d be crazy not to love my Fizzy.” He winked.

Blitzø blushed.

“But we both know it’s not Fizzy you’re in love with,” Asmodeus looked Blitzø in the eyes. “Is it you feisty little imp?”

Asmodeus grinned down at Blitzø mischievously.

Blitzø felt like his face was on fire, he was so embarrassed.

Stolas…

Blitzø’s heart flipped. He looked around the room.

“Sto..” he tired to choke out.

Asmodeus pursed his lips.

Blitzø’s heart sank. He felt tears threatening to rise.

Of course he wouldn’t be here… Why would he be…? Don’t be f*cking stupid…

Asmodeus saw Blitzø’s anguish and got really flustered, he started to ramble.

“Stolas uh… I’m not supposed to… Sh*t… Look…” Asmodeus looked around, then leaned in closer. “He told me not to say anything. But, Stolas hasn’t left your side.”

Blitzø looked at him skeptically.

“I mean obviously except now” Asmodeus laughed sheepishly. “His daughter forced him to leave and have a proper meal, though I’m sure he won’t stay away long.”

Asmodeus sat back and looked over at the others, smiling to himself.

“They’ve all been taking turns sitting vigil at your bedside.” Asmodeus looked at Blitzø. “Stolas has only left your room when someone specifically requested it. Otherwise, he’s existed solely in this room since your accident.”

They sat in silence. Blitzø didn’t know what to say. Or think.

“Don’t you dare tell Stolas I told you that though,” Asmodeus said. “Not sure what he’d do to me… But I’m not fond of the idea of floating around in outer-space.”

Blitzø tried to imagine that. It made him smile.

“Yeah I bet that’s funny,” Asmodeus smirked.

Blitzø smiled sheepishly. He tried to look apologetic.

Asmodeus waved him off.

Blitzø began to feel groggy. He eyelids started feeling heavier and heavier.

“You’re sure you don’t want me waking anyone up?” Asmodeus asked. “See you before you drift off?”

Blitzø slow blinked. “Lay-ter… Look…” He looked over at the others. “Ha-pee”

Asmodeus nodded.

Blitzø smiled. “Sleep now…” he drifted off into cozy dreams.

*****

[vulgarloon]

I think I am trying to come to terms with the fact that I might spend the rest of my life alone. Seems like romantic love avoids me, or maybe (more likely) I am avoiding it myself. And I don’t know how people have friends nowadays. I feel so disconnected from everyone, and whenever I stop reaching out, it seems like everyone forgets about my existence.

I want to be seen, to be loved and handled with care, to put a “fragile” label on myself. I want to be held and kissed and fucked and cared for. I have confusing feelings about sharing this, but I am in my 30s and I never had sex in my life. Not because I didn’t want it, I just never felt safe enough with anyone to let them see me in such a vulnerable state. I don’t trust men. No sexism or “they are all the same” from my side, I just really, honestly can’t recall a time when I felt safe and comfortable with a man last time. Have I ever?…

I don’t know what I am doing wrong. I’m trying to be a good friend, to reach out, to widen my social circle, but.. I don’t feel reciprocity so often, that at some point I start feeling very angry and I want to disconnect. They don’t see me. They don’t understand me and most importantly, don’t really care. I am not silent, if that’s what one might think. I am talking about my needs, discussing issues, sharing something about myself to try to keep it a healthy relationship. But still.

The last time I was in love he was hot and cold, and good and bad and maybe he was gay, but he was not sure, and then he flirted and shared some of the very private secrets of his with me, and spent hours with me, and even Friday nights, and followed me everywhere, looking me in the eyes with longing for like 20 times per short conversation. And then.. he tells everyone that he has a girlfriend and had one long before this whole shit started.

The guy before that was sweet and it felt like he cared, until he suddenly disappeared without any comments and when I asked (3 times) what happened, it was the usual “it’s not you, it’s me…”.

And then the other one, with whom we’ve been friends for 4 years, and he said he wanted me to date him. And even though I asked him several times before we started a relationship if he really was over his ex.. would you guess, left me, as soon is his ex reappeared.

And of course the guy that offered me to date right after his breakup to “help him heal his wounds and fill the emptiness she left”. And the one that called me lesbian, because he wasn’t nice to me and I didn’t want to meet him again. Or the one bringing a friend to our date..

I hate this. I hate them. I don’t want any of this. I don’t get it, how there’s always someone more important to everyone than me. I’m never anyones first choice. Just an option. And oh how I am sick of this feeling, of working as a mirror for all their bullshit, for caring but not being taken care of. Of loving and being tricked. Of trying to be open and honest and getting lies in response.

I really should talk to my therapist again. There’s definitely something’s that I am missing.

[vulgarloon]

Oh I can feel it

when you were younger, you were often told off for being too sensitive. as if you could control it. as if you, taking your own pain seriously, as if that was the problem. it didn't matter that you were being bullied - and it never mattered if the bully was your parent. it just mattered that you reacted to it.

the other day someone asked why you always seem to take things in stride. you don't know how to say - i don't, i am just not allowed to be a human where others could see it happen.

you watch other people have emotions in public and are often stunned by them. you are always walking carefully around your own, knowing that at some point you could slip and start weeping through your sunday evening apropos of nothing. you're not allowed to feel big things. when you feel big things, you're a messy, annoying person. it's ugly when you cry. it's uncomfortable for everyone.

the other day, you were relating another story to your therapist. you paused for a moment and then let out that little bark of laughter - it shouldn't have hurt, but i guess it did!

you promise that you're not upset about it. you're never upset about anything. you just pass through this world - ghostlike. numb. promising others - oh! i've changed a lot since i was a kid.

[lousypotatoes]

Can we please get Loona x Male Sinner Reader? Thanks for your time!

Oh boy, I'm not the best at writing for male readers, but I'll do my best!! Hope you like it <33

Song Recommendation:

Love Me Like You Do - Ellie Goulding

Part 2

The Intern - Loona x Male Reader

"I swear, I'm gonna shoot myself if Blitz has me get him one more cup of fucking coffee," you grumbled, setting down the plastic cup full of the hot liquid.

"Well, that's what an intern does, Y/N," Moxxie said. "They run errands, get coffee, get lun-"

"I get the point, Mox," you mumbled, running your fingers through your H/C hair. "Did you guys need anything?"

"Nah, we're good," Millie said. "Thanks Y/N!"

"Mhmmm,"

"Y/N!!! WHERE'S MY FUCKING COFFEE?!"

"I'm coming! I'm coming!" you cried out, grabbing the coffee cup, starting to walk towards Blitzo's office.

"You better get in there," Loona joked. "You don't wanna see him without his coffee."

You turned your head, hoping to hide the blush creeping up on your face. "He's not that scary,"

At that moment, Blitzo came out of his office, looking very tired and very angry.

He looked scary.

"Y/N, if you don't give me my coffee right now," he said in a deadly calm voice. "I will rip your dick off and shove it down your throat and out of your ass you FUCKING CUNT LICKING BITCH!!!

You looked over at Loona, smirking at you because she was right.

"Sorry Blitz," you muttered, handing him the coffee cup. "Here's your coffee sir,"

He swiped the coffee cup from your hand and chugged the whole thing.

"Ah! Now that's much better!" Blitzo said, stretching out his limbs, throwing the empty coffee cup at your head. "Now go get me some booze."

"What kind would you like, sir?" you grumbled.

"I don't fucking know, anything to get me drunk off my ass," he said, walking back into is office. "It's a get drunk off my ass kinda day."

"Right away Blitz," you mumbled as he slammed his office door.

"You want me to come with you?" Loona asked.

"Oh-uh" you stuttered. "Only if you want,"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"What's Earth like?" Loona said suddenly, as the two of you walked back to I.M.P headquarters.

"A lot better than Hell, that's for sure," you chuckled, swinging the bag filled with beer.

"How did you die?" she asked.

"What's with all the questions, Loona," you joked. "I was driving home drunk one night and t-boned someone."

"Damn," Loona said. "That sucks, I'm sorry."

"It's whatever,"

There was an awkward silence for a moment.

"Why did you decided to intern at I.M.P?"

You had to think about it for a moment.

"I guess I wanted to learn to protect myself against the exterminators," you said. "And what better way to learn than from assassins."

Loona stayed quiet.

"I don't know if I'm gonna stay an intern, though," you said, rubbing your bicep. "I might just check in to that redemption hotel."

"Well if you do," Loona began. "We'll stay in contact, right?"

"Yeah, of course,"

You and Loona awkwardly smiled at each other. Blush creeping onto both of your faces.

"Hey, you wanna get a bite to eat?" Loona asked, pointing to a fast-food place across the street.

"Sure," you said.

"Blitz would throw a fucking hissy fit if he found we were hanging out,"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU SAW MY LOONY AND THAT HPV HAVING PRICK LEAVE TOGETHER AND YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT?!?!"

"I-I didn't think anything of it sir-"

"IF THOSE TWO END UP PLAYING TONSIL TENNIS, I SWEAR TO GOD MOX, I WILL FUCK YOU AND YOUR WIFE SO FUCKING HARD THAT YOUR DAD WILL FEEL IT IN HIS MOBSTER BOSS BALLS!!!!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I haven't written for Helluva Boss before, so I hope it's good lol. I also need to rewatch the series. Hopefully we get a new episode soon lmao.

Remember to drink lots of water and stay safe <33

xoxo, Izzy

[ithinkdogshouldvote2]

It's so funny how in vampire Terry jr aus ppl like to portray him as this like; sexy, gentle, swave vampire as if he isn't the same guy who got loony toons-ed down a flight of stairs, somehow fucked up fingerguns, blew up a car engine by accident, and watches top 60 inspirational sports moments and cries.

Terry is so fucking lame. He caught the weird from Ron. And he has the world's worst luck. NO ONE is letting his ass bite them. He's slicing a central artery by accident. You're bleeding the fuck out and HES the one crying about it??? In your last moments its awkward and you feel bad for him.

[whoucallingalesbian]

yall i need to confess

i read THE BEST wattpad elliexreader smvt (around 47 pages) she is so toxic in a loving way i literally fell in love w the character yall don’t understand I NEED HER.

spoiler

in the story she is like a masc, tough drvg d, very cocky n likes to tease u, n who is also an fgirl and she is just soooooooooooooooooooo😣🤤��😩

and on top of that she listens to top?? LIKE THATS SO FITTING HELLO

the story is set in college, and im like her roomate n we do stuff iykyk ✂️👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 and it has such a good vibe like idk how to explain it but it reminds me of 2016 (when life was still good) n they r js studyin n having fun (n being a lil toxic but oh well who doesn’t like some drama)

i literally cried in the last chapter because it was so UNEXPECTED and disappointing, BUT there is a sequel and guess what? BIG TIME GAP, and on top of that depressing vibe where she has a whole ahh family n a JOB🤢 i swear ts ruined my already ruined my mental health and i pray to god it ends with them living together happily ever after otherwise im getting sent to a loony bin.

👩🏼‍🦯‍➡️

xoxo tea

[foryouwereinmysong]

My personal Top 10 Beatles (who am I kidding –  mostly John and Paul) moments of 2023

The release of »Now and Then« (& listening to it for the first time during lunch break on a hill, trying to act naturally (🤭) afterwards in front of my colleagues)

The absolute madness of the accompanying music video and all the gifs (1 2 3 4 5)

Seeing / screaming internally at / admiring the »Eyes of the Storm« exhibition in London (and spending too much money at the shop)

The »Eyes of the Storm« book with the numerous photos Paul took of John including the one he took in Paris

Some brilliant new Paul quotes: »we got very drunk and cried about, you know, dunno, about how we loved each other or something, I don’t know« »He was a bit of a loony in the nicest possible way.« »John introduced me to the concept of glasses« (mildly paraphrased) »I was the polar opposite to John«

New last ever photo of Paul and John

Red and Blue Album remixes actually being quite astonishing 

Participating in the #BeatlesMovies tag and getting a repost 😌

Paul enjoying The Pretenders and G’n’R at Glastonbury like the legend he is

The Beatles and all members trending on social media in 2023 🥰