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atlas-of-space · 5 years

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Dance with me - writing prompt

Synopsis: Did you really think you would be going alone to prom?

Prompt: “Dance with me”

A/N: this is a writing challenge by @starksparker for this summer :) i think i went kinda overboard on the backstory but okay lol did i forget i was writing a prompt and did i have to insert said prompt later into the story? maybe.

Word count: 3,6K

warnings: a few swears here and there

You and MJ had been friends since elementary school. You bonded when both of you weren’t invited to Macy’s birthday party, thus organizing your own party that was way more fun. From that day, a close friendship was born. Fast forward to middle and high school. Both being kind of hardcore nerds, you both got into Midtown Tech. You befriended Ned and Peter and you felt that you had finally found your place in the world.

Your senior year was the hardest and easiest of high school. You started applying to your dream college (NYU), writing essays and what-not, you had several competitions and science fairs going on et cetera. That was the easy part. The hard part had yet to come for you: prom.

Most kids already had a boyfriend or girlfriend, so they automatically had a partner. There already had been a fair share of promposals (MJ had been asked by the new kid Brad (was he really new?? He just aged when the rest of you were in the Blip), Ned asked Betty and that was that.)

“So, who are you asking, Peter?” MJ inquired. Peter had been relatively quiet when you guys started talking about prom. He shrugged and his mouth set in a hard line. “I’ve been thinking about asking this girl, but I’m about 125% sure that she’ll say no. So I’m thinking about going alone.” MJ frowned, “there’s no harm in just asking the girl. Why are you so sure she’ll reject you?” Peter shrugged again, “She’s probably waiting for someone else to ask, so I’d rather not be embarrassed thank you very much.”

This was Peter’s pessimistic side talking. You two bonded over being total opposites (him being more pessimistic and you being the positive person) and you just knew that he was overreacting. “Don’t be so melodramatic Pete, for all you know she’s waiting to be asked by you. Who are we talking about by the way?” You really wanted to know who Peter was talking about because you had absolutely no idea who this could be. Could it be Charlotte from the debate team? Or Amina who’s volunteering at the library? Or even just someone he met on his internship because duh it’s the stark internship and how many smart beautiful awesome people work there??

For the rest of the day, you continued to sulk and you actually felt quite miserable. You had had feelings for Peter for a while now, but they really took off when you two spent a weekend together going on a field trip.

“So, can you get that stick out of your ass and talk to me or are you going to keep being miserable for the rest of the week?”, MJ pointed out. She sat next to you in the library, where you two always studied and revised together. You rolled your eyes but you knew that what she said was true.

“Well, if I say what’s been bothering me will you promise not to tell anyone?” “Not to tell anyone that you’re actually in love with Peter or to not tell anyone that in 4th grade you got the class hamster for the weekend and you accidentally killed it because you thought your older brother’s snake would want to be friends with it?”

“Jesus, MJ not so loud!”, you groaned. Let’s be honest. Both things she said were true and you didn’t want any one to know about them. “Please don’t ever bring up Ozzy up again. I’m still traumatized and everyone thinks he died of old age, so zip it.”

“So we’re not going to talk about you and Peter?”, she softly asked after a short moment of silence. “I just really don’t know what to say,” you sighed, “we’ve been friends for such a long time and I really don’t want to mess it up by like declaring my love or something for him.”

“Well, I wouldn’t necessarily call it declaring your love, but I do think there is something between you guys. Don’t you remember when you came back from Boston and you two were like, inseparable?” MJ was so fucking observant, nothing went by her without her noticing, and at times like these it was quite annoying that she knew everything, but for the most part it came in really handy. MJ just knew you and knew what was going on in your head. She just wanted to be a good friend.

“For anyone who didn’t know you guys, it really seemed like you guys were dating or something. Do you really not notice how he looks at you?”, you shook your head. You had been wrapped up in assignments after the trip and just had been studying and yeah, you just didn’t really have a lot of time to think about it. This doesn’t mean that you ‘lost’ your feelings for Peter, they just had to make room for other things.

What started as a boring history trip to Boston, ended in laughter and getting to know each other even better. The four hour drive was something no one was looking forward to, because duh you literally can’t do anything besides talking and okay, Peter was your friend but you had never had much one-on-one time and you were kind of nervous? Also, when did Peter get these muscles?

“Are we sitting together for this ten million hour drive, y/n?”, you nodded and pulled him onto one of the benches, giving him your backpack to put on the rack above you.

You started bickering about some random movie you had seen a week before and Peter wanted to facepalm because you were so stubborn. “No, jesus, Y/n, the ending was so good, it was meant to be sad because life isn’t just rainbows and butterflies! You can’t just expect a good ending in every movie because you get sentimental afterwards.”

“Well, okay mister I’m-always-negative, sorry for wanting the main character to have a nice life. I just think he deserved better. He just had this really romantic outlook on life and then everyone dumped him and he died alone. That’s sad right, don’t you agree?”

Peter had to agree, but he just wanted to get you to understand that sometimes shitty things happen (like getting bit by a radioactive spider and getting super powers and trying to save your city, because you were now a friendly neighborhood spider-man). Anyway, he admired your positive outlook on life and he didn’t want to ruin it, but he also didn’t want you to get hurt every time something remotely negative happened in your life - which was inevitable, let’s be honest.

“I was just saying, but I really like that about you,” Peter softly said, his eyes locking on yours. You slightly blushed, but disregarded the comment. Friends say stuff like that, right? You squeezed his bicep, turning to look outside of the window. “God we’ve only left the city and I already want to get out!”, you changed the subject. Peter swallowed hard and coughed, trying to get rid of the intimate moment you guys just shared.

For the following hours you talked and talked about everything and nothing. The bus arrived at the hotel you would be staying at for 2 nights and you both teamed up with someone to share a room. After doing a tour of the city, everyone got back to the hotel and you were free to do what you wanted.

“So, are you down to go eat something together?” Peter asked, whilst leaning against the doorframe of the room you shared with Drew. Drew shot you a look, silently saying ‘YES!!!! GO!!’, and you rolled your eyes.

“Um, yeah sure, let me just grab my things and we’ll go look for something then,” you started gathering your stuff and said goodbye to Drew. “It’s a date, right?” She winked and you wanted to throw yourself out of the window, because just stop with this! “Yeah bye Drew, have fun on your own!”, you sarcastically called out.

Peter and you walked down the street, trying to find a cheap place that had decent dinner.

You decided on a dumpling place that actually looked really cool, it had these old wooden floors and lots of plants. “You down to share some dumplings with me or not?” You asked whilst flipping through the menu. Peter nodded and decided for some classic dumplings, while you chose the vegetarian ones. That way, you could share some.

“So, do you already know what uni you want to go to?”, Peter asked, whilst battling with your chopsticks to get a dumpling. “I’ve been looking into some unis in New York area so I can stay close to home, but there are just so many good schools over the whole country so yeah.. I’m still confused as fuck.” You smirked when you got the dumpling you were fighting about and popped it in your mouth. “So, what about you?” You asked once you ate the dumpling.

“Yeah so I really want to stay in the city. This place is my home you know, and I’m not really ready to leave everything behind and start over again so yeah, I’m thinking about Columbia or NYU or just a local college so I can combine the stark internship with studying. But yeah, I’m really looking forward to next year.”

You nodded and gave him a soft smile, “so, we’ll probably stay in the same city. We can meet up then!” Peter’s eyes twinkled and he smiled, “this is going to be great! We can go to parties together and study together!”

After dinner, you walked back to the hotel, it looked as if both of you had drunk just a little too much, stumbling through the streets and giggling so much that you couldn’t breathe. “Are you actually serious? You thought the hamster would be friends with the snake?”

“I was in 4th grade! I just didn't want him to be lonely!” You exclaimed, trying not to ruin your mascara because you were definitely crying of laughter. You put your hand on the inside of Peters inner arm, trying to hold onto him because you just couldn’t keep your ground anymore.

“You can’t tell anyone though! MJ has been keeping it a secret for years, so if this ever gets out I’m done!”, you joked while you entered the hotel lobby. Because you both looked a bit out of place and were making a bit too much noise, you got some weird looks. You both ignored everyone, too wrapped up in each other.

You calmed down in the elevator, still holding onto Peter’s arm. You loved being with Peter alone. You connected on a deeper level, you just understood each other. You had liked him for a while now. Nothing serious, just a small crush.

You walked to your room. Instead of going inside, you waited outside and looked at Peter. He was leaning against the doorframe, waiting for you to open the door. “Well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then?”, you said quietly. Peter nodded and licked his lips. He looked in your eyes, and it was as if he wanted to say something else, but he just kept quiet.

“okay, I’m going in now, bye Peter,” you got your room key and swiped it, opening the door. You looked at Peter one last time. He had already straightened up but opened his arms to give you a hug. You stepped into his arms and squeezed your arms around his torso. Had you ever been this close to Peter? God. He smelled really good and you felt at ease in his arms.

He released you and gave a small wave, turning back to go to the elevator to go up to his room. You smiled to yourself and got into your room.

The rest of the weekend went off without a hitch. You visited some museums and did a few workshops, learning about the history. This was going to be one hell of an assignment to write. Peter and you spent most of the time you were awake together. Drew was suspiciously absent when you were with Peter. It's almost as if she stayed away on purpose.

When you returned, you had a lot of work to catch up on and you had to make this ginormous assignment about the trip. You still saw Peter a lot. During lunch and other classes you had together, you would always sit next to each other. You worked on the assignment together and you visited each other in the weekends. MJ noticed that every time you were studying in the library Peter was there, just left or was about to arrive. You hardly had any one-on-one time with MJ anymore, and she was starting to feel left out.

“I mean yeah, we became really good friends on that trip, perhaps even more but people don’t fall in love over a weekend, MJ, I’m not that naive.”

“People don’t fall in love over a weekend, but they do if these feelings have been build up for literal years!”, MJ was at the end of her wits here. How could you NOT see that Peter was in love with you?? He came over every other weekend, he helped you if you were stuck with something. You spend so much time together and he hadn’t been on a decent date in months. This wasn’t some bullshit crush - this felt real.

“AND, after that trip, we hardly spent any time together because you were with Peter every breathing second!” MJ exclaimed, “So don’t go bullshitting me that he doesn’t like you, because that boy is head over heals in love with you.”

“Well okay then. Why wouldn’t he ask to prom then? If he likes me?” You tried to reason. You were ignore these feelings, because once you both admitted them to each other, it would be real.

“He’s insecure. It’s 2019, girls can ask guys to prom. You just ask him already.” You sighed and rubbed your eyes with your hand palms. “I know you have like the soul of a 120 year old activist in you, but I’m still a regular-ass teenage girl who’s scared of being called abnormal. So i’m just going to ignore everything you just said and go alone to prom, because that’s what nerds do.”

MJ wanted to strangle you, because this was like a horror movie; the main character did everything they weren’t supposed to do. “okay, you do you. But don't complain to me if Peter shows up with some random girl because you’re both chickens.”

MJ got her books and got up. She was frustrated with you, but you knew it was all in good heart. You tried to get some more studying done, but you were really distracted.

What did you have to lose, if you asked Peter to prom? A few years of friendship? A great study-buddy?

Prom was next week, and both you and Peter had been avoiding the topic. Both MJ and Ned were so fed up with it (MJ had told Ned everything), but decided not to do anything about it. It was your life, so your problem in the end.

Cue to the day before prom. You had everything prepared. Your dress, heels, make-up, you even got a corsage. What you didn’t have: a date. You were too chicken to ask Peter, so you went alone. You were going to dance your heart out and enjoy your life, because that’s what being young is about.

You decided to drive yourself to the venue. You got everything ready and were about to put on your heels when the doorbell rang. You figured it would be MJ who forgot something and opened the door.

It wasn’t MJ though, who stood on your porch. Peter was wearing an all black tux and his hair was combed neatly, instead of the wild curls he always had. His hands were in his pockets (his hands were really shaky at this moment and he didn’t want to seem like a weirdo in front of you) and he didn’t say anything for the first few moments.

“Oh, um, wow, Y/N you look-.. you look amazing!” He struggled to say. His cheeks got a light pink hue, as did yours. “Thanks, Peter, you look very handsome yourself.”

You both looked at each other awkwardly, not knowing what to say, because What The Hell was Peter doing here?

“What do you need, Peter?” You asked him. Your palms were getting sweaty and you felt your face heath up. What is happening right now?

“I know this is probably so out of line and I understand if you don’t want to but I’ve been thinking about it for a while now and I was too chicken to tell you until this moment now, but uh-, Y/N I uh, I really like you and I totally understand if you don’t reciprocate these uh feelings,” he rambled and had to take a deep breath after saying all this.

Internally, you were freaking out, but externally, it looked as if you had just seen a ghost pass by.

“Um, Y/N? Can you say something please?” Peter croaked. Tears were beginning to form in his eyes and this lump in his throat was keeping him from rambling again.

“Oh my-, I’m so sorry Peter oh my god! No, I just didn’t think this moment would ever arrive? I don’t know what to say other than, um, that I like you as well?”

You royally fucked this one up. Peter was almost crying, you started to have a panic attack? What is this evening?

“Are you serious?” Peter asked after he gathered himself for a moment. You nodded and held the door a bit further, signaling that he could come in.

You closed the door behind him and rested your back against it, trying not to lose it. God was this real? Was this some awkward dream during the nap you took before you had to get ready?

Peter took a step closer to you and grabbed your wrist. “Do you want to go to prom with me and dance with me then?” He softly said. You interlaced your fingers with his and looked up at him.

You gave him a small smile and nodded, “I’d love to go with you Peter.”

You were both shining and when you were ready to go, your mother called out to you.

“Y/N, even though you don’t have a date, I still want pictures!”, she came out of the living room with her camera. When she saw you standing at the door, hand in hand with Peter she stopped and got a small smile on her face.

“Oh, unexpected but actually not. Hi Peter, how are you?” She joked.

“I’m good, really good actually. I’m coming to pick up your daughter for prom actually,” he answered politely.

“So, is this a,” she pointed between you two, “a date situation?” Peter instantly got red again, but you smiled confidently, “Yes, we’re going together.”

Your mother smiled dearly and nodded. “Well, if you’re going together, I do want some pictures of you two!”

You posed for some pictures and left quickly after, your mom giving you a wink. “Have fun, guys!”

Peter drove himself to your house, so you got into his car (after he held the door for you).

When you both walked up to your high school, some people did double takes. Especially your friends. MJ walked up to you with a smile, you never releasing Peter’s hand.

“Well, well, who do we have here?” She smugly asked. You wanted to give a quick-witted response, but you were just too happy.

“He came to my house just before we left and well, we both like each other and things just happened? And no we are here!”

She squeezed your other hand and smiled at you. “I’m happy for you, Y/N, even though it took literal WEEKS!”

For the rest of the night you had so much fun with your friends. You danced together, got stupid photo’s in the photobooth, and held Peter’s hand.

You slow danced together and he had his arms or hands around you at all times. This was such bliss.

You and Peter were sitting outside for a bit, trying to escape all the commotion. Your knees were touching and Peter’s thumb was rubbing over your hand.

“So,” Peter said softly, trying not to disrupt the comfortable silence, “I know this is probably way too quick, but I really like you Y/N.”

“I really like you too, Peter,” you replied gazing into his eyes. Gosh, he has such pretty eyes. How did this ever happen to you?

“Would you wanna go on a date soon? Like a real date and not some high school dance?” Peter wasn’t nervous anymore. He knew you’d say yes, he just wanted to confirm that you were actually up for it.

You nodded quickly, “I’d love to. We could go tomorrow even! I just want to spend more time with you.” God would you love to just spend the rest of senior year with Peter, that was how much you liked him.

“What do you say, tomorrow at seven? We could go eat something and decide the rest during dinner?” Peter proposed.

“It’s a date.” You said, giving Peter a kiss on his cheek.

—————

Sooooo, this is the end! Sorry it took so long to write, I had less free time than expected lol. I tried to leave the ending a bit ‘open’ idk this is my first time really writing something (other than weird af wattpad stories when I was 14 let’s be honest)

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bee-kathony · 6 years

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Meet Me in New York - Sam & Caitriona AU

October 4th, 2018

“Happy Birthday, Caitriona,” Sam kissed her slowly, letting his hands move down across her bare back, slightly warm from sleep.

“Thank you, love,” Cait smiled, pressing her forehead against his. They had both arrived to their New York City hotel late last night, and had fallen into bed only minutes later. But they were both too tired for anything more than just kissing and cuddles in bed before drifting off to sleep. It was in the middle of the night, however, when jet lag, the enemy of sleep, woke them.

“Are you awake,” Sam whispered, sliding his hand over Cait’s round hip.

A moment of silence and then a sleepy, “Yes, are you?” They both started laughing until Cait rolled over to face him, pressing her lips quickly against his chest. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, Balfe. Unbearable almost… to be away from you,” he said softly, resting his chin on top of her head.

“I know. Only a little while longer,” she kissed his chest, “And we have this weekend, so let’s enjoy it.”

“I plan to enjoy every second of bein’ with ye, babe,” Sam smiled and lifted her face to his, kissing her deeply. In a matter of seconds, their clothes were on the floor, and their skin was hot — touching and giving.

Of course, they had both arranged on their social medias for it to look like they were apart and traveling on Cait’s birthday, which was today. This way they could have some privacy and some peace.

“So what are the plans, for today, birthday girl?”

“Not much of anything really, I’ve got dinner planned tonight with some girls, and you’re obviously coming to that,” Cait smiled, her fingers tapping against Sam’s cheek.

“Obviously…” he smirked. “We could go to the hotel spa, relax a bit before things get crazy this weekend?”

“Oooh, spa,” Cait sighed, “That sounds lovely.”

“And once ye get out of the shower, I’ve got a wee birthday surprise for you,” Sam pushed her bangs off of her forehead, kissing the smooth skin hidden there.

“Is that your polite way of telling me that I stink, Heughan…” she sniffed, “Cause you’re not exactly smelling too good yourself!”

Sam smacked her lightly on the arse and she jumped, “If I smell, then I smell of ye, Cait. And besides… I just need an excuse for you to be out of this room for about twenty minutes.”

“You haven’t wrapped my birthday present have you?”

Sam rolled his eyes, “Shower, Balfe.” He kissed her, “Now.”

Caitriona sighed, but then lazily crawled out of the bed, giving Sam the middle finger on her way to the bathroom. It didn’t take her long before she was hopping in the shower since she’d been freed from her clothing in the night.

Once the water was on, Sam turned over on his side, reaching for the hotel phone. “Yes, you can bring it up now, thank you.”

After that detail was settled, Sam rose from the bed, stretching his arms high above his head. He had already wrapped Caitriona’s present, well one of her presents, the main one. Walking over to his suitcase, he carefully pulled back layers of his clothing and pulled out the large square package, wrapped in brown paper and tied with a string.

He made up the bed a bit and placed her gift in the middle. Once he was satisfied, Sam got dressed in a pair of black joggers and a plain white t-shirt. They would get more dressed up to go out with Cait’s friends tonight, but for now it was just the two of them.

Ten minutes later, Cait walked out of the bathroom in a towel, her short wet hair dripping on her bare shoulders. Her eyes got wide when she saw the present on the bed and she nearly ran towards it.

“Uh-uh,” He held up one arm to hold her back, “Clothes first. Then food. Then present.”

“But it’s my birthday, surely it’s acceptable to wear my birthday suit,” her lip curled up into a coy smile.

Sam raised his eyebrows, “Hmmm, I suppose yer right. But room service is coming any minute now so I dinna think you want the hotel staff to see all yer goods.”

“No, you’ve got me there.” Cait laughed, and went to her suitcase, grabbing a plain black cotton dress that would be easy to take off later.

The minute she stepped back into the room, with a small towel wrapped around her head, there was a knock on the door, and a voice saying “Room Service.”

“I’ll get that!” Sam smiled, kissing Cait in passing before going to the door and letting the man roll in the cart. It was piled high with stacks of pancakes with whip cream, eggs and bacon, fruit bowls, and little chocolate desserts. Once the man left, Caitriona sat down on the bed, crossing her legs as Sam pulled the car directly in front of her.

“Breakfast in bed, oh how thoughtful!” She put her hand over her forehead, acting as if she was swooning. “But really, thank you darling.” Sam bent his head, placing a kiss on her lips before joining her on the bed.

“Do I have to eat everything before I can open my present?” Cait said a moment later, eyeing said present on the bed beside Sam.

Sam took a deep breath, “I suppose not. Since you are the birthday girl.” He reached for the present and handed it to her. His heart began to race as he watched her unwrap it. Was it too simple?

Cait pulled the photo album from out of the packaging, and stared down at the cover. Written on the brown leather was their initials and the first day they met.

“It’s a wee book of photos of us, and of you over the years,” Sam said a bit shyly.

She was silent as she opened the book, taking in the first couple of pictures and then looked up at Sam with tears in her eyes. “It’s lovely. Damn it…”

“Are you alright, Cait?” Sam cupped her cheek with his palm, catching a stray tear.

“Yes, I’m perfectly fine. It’s just,” she turned her head to place a kiss on the inside of his hand, “This is exactly what I needed. Nothing flashy, or expensive. Memories of us… it’s perfect Sam, thank you.”

He kissed her, rubbing his thumb across her cheek. “You’re welcome, love. Now look through the rest of the album.”

She flicked through slowly, her eyes lingering on every picture had chosen to include. There were a lot of selfies of the two of them, some the fans had seen and a lot that were just for them. He had also included several of her that he had taken in secret — one was of her sleeping, her eyes closed and the morning sun just barely covering her face. Cait’s cheeks blushed as she saw another one of her naked back, laying in the bed with the sheets around her waist.

“I love it, so much, Sam. I don’t even have words right now,” She smiled and pulled him close.

“I love you, Caitriona.”

++++++

The next day, Sam woke up early, partly because of jet lag, and hit the gym. When he got back to the hotel, Cait was just waking up, sitting in bed with her phone.

“Still have a lot of birthday messages coming in?”

“Yes, a good amount. The fans are so sweet!” Cait smiled, and continued to respond to a few tweets and messages.

“We’ve got lunch with Maril, Sophie and Rik later on before the panel, babe. And then I think some interviews for the afternoon,” Cait said to Sam as he entered the bathroom.

“Canna wait,” he smirked and then got in the shower.

++++++

“I still can’t believe you brought up that thing about hitting me in the head with your sword,” Cait laughed as they walked into their hotel room. In the hours since they’d left, they had sat on the panel, taken countless pictures, given several interviews and attended a dinner for the NYCC talent. All in all, it felt like a very successful evening, but a long one.

“I couldn’t help myself!” Sam raised his hands in defense.

“And the air quotes…” she smirked, turning to face him and wrap her arms around his waist. “You child.”

“Hey… you laughed, so you’re the child.” Sam smiled, then bent his head to kiss her.

Caitriona laughed against his lips, sliding her hand over his arse and pressing her hips against him. All night she had been craving to reach out and touch him, to feel his skin against hers. She hadn’t exactly played it cool, neither of them had — but they missed each other like crazy.

“What I need, Balfe,” Sam pulled back from her mouth, “Is you out of that sexy velvet suit. The feel of ye in it is enough to drive me mad.”

Caitriona took a step back, her hands on the buttons of her red blazer, and slowly opened them one at a time to reveal nothing underneath. Sam bit his lip, a deep noise vibrating in his chest. “Christ, Cait.”

“It’s your turn to spoil me now,” Cait said through hooded lashes and then Sam was there, his mouth on hers, his hands at the waistband of her pants. For weeks, they’d been apart and now they could finally be together in whatever way they wanted.

“I love you so much,” Sam said into Cait’s neck and shivered as she tugged his pants down and they slid down his legs. The rest of their clothing joined the pile already on the floor and Cait fell back against the bed, stretching herself out.

“Are you gonna hit me with your sword again?” Cait couldn’t help but laugh. Sam positioned himself between her legs, his body pinning her to the bed.

“You bet I am,” he smirked, bending his head to place a kiss to both breasts before settling his hands beside her head. Caitriona’s hands moved up his arms, feeling the growth of his muscles in the time they’d spent apart. The slight quiver of his body over hers, was enough to send her reeling.

Sam looked into her eyes, memorizing the way she looked at this precise moment, and then slid home between her legs. His cock filled her completely and with every thrust, she was forced deeper into the mattress.

He brought one leg to wrap around his waist, changing the angle slightly and began to push into her. It was the best feeling in the world, to come together like this, to be with the one you love.

“Fuck,” Cait moaned, letting her head fall back onto the pillow. Her hands scratched at Sam’s back, pulling him down on top of her. He kissed her roughly, parting her lips with his tongue.

“Damn it, Cait,” he groaned and rolled his hips forward. As Cait’s heart began to race, Sam slowed his movements, barely moving inside of her, and she felt the throbbing between her thighs.

“What—“

“Shhh,” he placed a finger on her lips, and then bent to kiss her. He was still a moment more, and then moved one hand to cup her round hip before he started back into his rhythm. This time he said, “I love you,” between every push forward — against her lips, her cheek, her neck. Sam consumed her in every way possible.

Caitriona cried out his name, one hand gripping around his neck and holding on to him as her body gave into him. With a final thrust, Sam’s body trembled and he came down on her gently, before rolling them on their sides still joined.

“We’re in this together,” she whispered, so soft he barely heard her.

Sam brought her hand up to his mouth, placing a sweet kiss on her knuckles, “Aye, together. It’s you and me, Balfe.”

#meet me in new york #samcait #sam x cait #sam heughan #caitriona balfe #happy birthday caitriona #rpf #outlander fanfic #mclairefras

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sitinthelight · 5 years

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Well Zach just drunk called me at 4 am.

A few years ago, I would have thought that was cute and romantic because he called to say he missed me and wishes I was there.

But current Monica was abruptly awoken and is cranky and didn’t really want to sit through that short phone call filled with slurred words and his inability to even pay attention to what I was saying.

I’m not a shitty person but boy, do I have shitty tendencies sometimes.

Zach went to drink with his best friend who lives 30 minutes away and his other best friend who lives in his hometown which is like 4 hours away. They all used to be super pals and always drank with each other in college and were the 3 amigos. Which is cute and sweet and I’m happy he has such good friends who still love to get together for old times sake. Not gonna lie, part of me is a bit jealous because of my inability to keep relationships that aren’t physically in front of me intact. But Zach is a good person and a good friend and people really really love him. Like for someone with such a low self-esteem and who is always doubting how people feel about him, reality is literally the opposite of what he thinks (except in the case of me cause I suck, in this regard). His friends adore him. Fucking love him. Always want him around. He gets phone calls several times a day and is always texting someone.

It’s wild when I get a text. It’s either Zach, Scott, or one of my bills telling me it’ll be due soon.

So he’s hanging out with them and he invited me out and then they’re hanging out again tomorrow and drinking again so he invited me to that as well. And while it’s been a very long time since I’ve gone out to bars and clubs and had a night out, I said no.

Social anxiety is really the biggest reason and the fact that I just don’t like drinking with people who make me anxious. Which his friend (the guy) does. He’s a cool dude! Almost always has been nice to me! Almost. Saved my life when I had a severe allergic reaction. We just don’t vibe. I don’t mean we don’t get along. We just have nothing to talk about. No common interests. Nothing. I can stand most silences but the ones when I’m with this friend are just so fucking awkward, even I can’t bare it. So I really don’t want to drink around people who have so much history that I can’t relate to. I’ve hung out with the 3 of them together before. I was a 4th wheel and like, that isn’t fun to me. Also, I’ve been so fucking tired from work because everything is just insane and I think maybe I’m just becoming a more irritable person. That’s probably what it is. I’m not getting enough sleep between Cordelia waking me up at 6 am every single morning and not letting me be and Zach’s awful sleep schedule keeping me up and then there is my insomnia. Like, this bitch already has too many factors against her in the realm of sleep.

Like it’s 4 in the fucking morning. Almost 5. And I’m typing my woes on tumblr. Sure I don’t have work until 2 pm but I like to get up some what early to just feel like my whole day doesn’t surround pleasing people who don’t give a shit about you in retail. A lady physically assaulted my lead last week because she couldn’t get a pair of $50 shoes last week for $18. I was unfortunately stuck in handbags and only saw the multiple police officers in my department from affair as they interviewed customers. This woman attacked my lead in front of her 6 year old child too. I really can’t wait to be done with retail. This is why I don’t really want to work with people anymore. They’re just so unpredictable and while the really nice ones make the world a little better, the awful ones just...they’re awful.

I’m just rambling and cranky and honestly, I don’t know what I’m doing with my life at this point. I’m in that weird in between stage of recovery but maybe my whole life will be depression recovery. Most likely. It’s not like they have some magical cure for it. I’m just done with this whole situation and I’m ready to be free from this town and this relationship and just, not start over, but like, idk. Takes the first few steps up in making my life a little more tolerable for me. I don’t hate my life. I have more blessings than I can count for but obviously, I’m not a happy person but also it is 5 am and I’m lacking sleep and possibly getting sick with a full weekend of work to look forward to.

At least Oz is consistent. He’s got his little surprises but like, I expect to expect them from time to time. He doesn’t pull anything crazy on me that hasn’t been done before. He’s just a chill little dude, munching on hay and laying around like a bum and like, same. Same. Sometimes he’ll have a little run and some hops but like, just chill. Calm. I am such a rabbit person. Like, I click with their little personalities.

I just need, peace. Calmness. Predictability. Not forever, but just for the time being. Because I need to get my wits together. Time is going by faster than I can even remember the date and it’s honestly freaking me out. Because I have so much to do and get done and I’m oblivious to the passage of time or just have bad perception of it which is probably a symptom of my mental health or inability to math. etc. etc. etc.

Why am I typing. I’m so fucking tired.

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isitovers · 5 years

Note

1)Hi Fiona, sorry this chapter review has taken so long (over a week, I think)! It took me longer to read the chapter because of actual life things and it’s taken me longer to write the actual review because of life things. But I’m here now which means I can give it to you on your Birthday (Happy Birthday!!!!). So this chapter started out with a nice little scene between Harry, Karlie, and Taylor. I think it does a really good job of emphasizing what you were trying to do with Karlie’s character

2) Here she’s clearly trying to nudge Harry in the direction of realizing that Taylor is writing about him (sort of) while trying to get Taylor to admit that she is basing her romantic characters off of Harry. It’s also the first big mention of Taylor’s book that becomes bigger in later chapters. And Karlie gets to witness Haylor being super cute and domestic!! Then we get to go into the lovely moments of the July 4th weekend (as an Australian this holiday is literally meaningless to me

3) but I love it for Taylor). I love that we get the little summaries (not the best description but I can’t think of a better word currently lol) of what he did with Jared and the other guys from work at the start of the weekend where he apparently got a new tattoo??? At least he likes it lol. I really love how you had him kind of embrace the irony of a brit being there on American independence day and like of course everyone would make fun of him for it.

4) But at the same time you didn’t overdo it. But mainly (and I know I say this like every chapter lol) the 4th of July party really showed that Harry is now a central part of their little group. He has his own dynamic going on with all the different members. Like obviously he’s still closest with Taylor but there’s no denying that he’s actually friends with everyone (maybe not Sam but all well).

5) And as you also kind of touched on how it’s a central part of why he’s starting to feel a lot more at home in NYC even if he doesn’t actually think of it as home. Also I love the moment when Taylor’s painting little things on Harry and she just straight up starts sitting on Harry’s lap!! I can only imagine that was kind of uncomfortable for everyone else there. And Harry’s just like ‘yeah, if i was her boyfriend I’d probably be uncomfortable with this too but I’m not her boyfriend...

6) So fuck you, sam!!’ Jhvgv I love it so much. The next scene with the fire alarm going off in the middle of the night is weirdly one of my favourite scenes. Nothing all that important story wise happens but it’s just so simple it’s beautiful. The image of Taylor shoving Olivia into Harry’s arms in the middle of the night as they do the fire drill is so domestic and sweet. Also I love how you managed to sprinkle in some sexual stuff in this totally non-sexual moment.

7) Harry complimenting her glasses, Taylor commenting on his pubes, Taylor not wearing a bra and purposely showing Harry her Victoria’s secret shorts. And I love that Harry desperately wanted to tell her what he thought of the shorts, Taylor desperately wanted to know what he thought of her shorts, and I’m still just desperately waiting for them to start making out. Seriously though, I love those little moments because it just shows how much Taylor’s feeling this attraction too.

8) And we really get to go into some of Tay’s insecurities as well (eg. the glasses) which shows us some even bigger issues in her relationship with Sam. Like Sam’s never outright said that he doesn’t like her in glasses but she also clearly doesn’t feel comfortable enough around him to be her true self. Which is a serious problem in a long term relationship. Then in the last scene we have Harry coming back for a sweaty run when taylor wants to hang out.

9) And of course, because Harry can’t help himself, he pops a boner in the shower but manages to stop himself from jerking off because she’s literally in the next room. Love that self control, Harry! But then we just get a nice low key dinner between the two of them where we learn that of course Harry doesn’t get uncomfortable with the mention of periods because he grew up around women. And of course, then they watch my best friend’s wedding (which is the movie you were referring to I think??)

10) which is nice but it also leads to something important. For the first time (i think) he fully admits to himself that in his ideal future he’s in a serious relationship with Taylor where they get married. I feel like before he’s kind of admitted that yeah he’s attracted to her, or that he has a crush on her, or that he’d kind of like their relationship to be different, but here I think is when he first says to himself yes, that is what I want.

11) Anyways, by the time I actually send this to you it won’t be your birthday anymore (boo!) but I hope you had an amazing day! Also, I just wanna say, that I’m writing these reviews not only because I love Home and I wanna talk about it but because I hope it might help with your muse to keep writing! Because I love your haylor writing so much! Whether it’s a full length fic or a smutty one shot, it’s always amazing and I hope that you can write more!

12) Anyways, I loved this chapter and I can’t wait to do the next (it’s a big one I think). Also just wanted to say that writing these reviews out on my laptop is so weird because it means I have to log out of my account to send you the full thing. This has nothing to do with anything but it's just weird because I usually just send messages on my phone lol

oh gosh no need to apologise for that!! I completely understand and I hope you're doing okay! thank you as well, I actually had a really nice birthday which I wasn't expecting!

okay I know I say this like every time but I should really reread home because clearly I've forgotten everything that happens sjfjdjdj anyways!!

the fourth of july party was a bit weird for me actually, not just because of the obvious of not being an american but that it was one of those scenes I'd been looking forward to writing, I had all these plans for it so theoretically it should've been easy to write, but when I actually got up to it I got stuck. for ages. but eventually I pushed through it and playing around with taylor doing things she shouldn't was a lot of fun. her sitting on his lap? completely unnecessary. I regret nothing (and neither does she!). harry being invited emphasised his place within the group but at the same time it's never going to be the same as back home.

now that you mention it I think the fire alarm scene is one that I did go back and read at some point just for fun because I really liked it too. I just went back and read it now out of curiosity (the amount of reads on home though I'm crying!!!!) and I still enjoy it, their dynamic in this fic is definitely one of my favourites I've worked on. the glasses thing was only a small thing I wanted to slide in as something to show that her and sam's relationship wasn't perfect. they loved each other, but they weren't completely compatible and again I thought it would be good to have some build up for later.

the next bit I think was a combination of two ideas I had, since I came up with a lot of different plots for them and having the shower thing and the period thing together just made it easier for me to include stuff I wanted. there generally is a point to everything that's included, even if it's as simple as I think it's fun, and the latter part of that scene showed how much he cared. and why was she surprised? has no guy been that chill about it before? doesn't sam do things like that for her during that time of the month? we don't know. to be completely honest I didn't have a specific movie I was referencing, I just made up a basic plot I figured was an actual movie lmao. also "he wanted to marry his best friend, too. if only she knew." I'm now crying

I appreciate it very much!! I love getting to revisit my fave fic and it is motivating me to write more for us to talk about, so thanks as always!!

#the problem now is iwanna keep reading instead of being productive ajdjd #also if you've got a notepad app you can use that! it's what i use for my replies on mobile and it works for me #anonymous #answered

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susistudentleaders2019 · 5 years

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Danish Aziz Awan. Week 2. Warp speed.

#susi2019 @ecaatstate @umassdonahue @susi2019

Week 2: Clap Clap

Day 1:

This week kicked off with Mr.Tom discussing about U.S History at Wrap Speed. Followed by Mr. Douglas Rice’s talk on civil rights. It was fascinating to see how many years it took for the oldest democracy in the world, to further strengthen their justice system. A lesson we can take to make Pakistan’s system more efficient.

Roaming on the streets of Downtown, singing and dancing my lungs out.

Walking with 3 people from our group, talking about our goals when we go back home, establishing connection with each other, solving domestic issues here.

Day 2:

Mr. Sibi brought out the hidden abilities in us, A-Z of being a leader. The whole session was a joyous ride. “Lolly-Pop moments,” and what not. I am now a firm believer that a leader is someone who does the little things for people he/she interacts with. Sense of humanity, emotions, ability to lift up the mood, good listener, extremely tolerant, someone who can kill his ego for the sake of someone else’s happiness. I am more than ready to spread this kind of information back home.

Part 2 of the day, Role of media, U.S and Pakistan, two very different nations, yet united by this genre.

It was interesting to see how much similarities we share in terms of media coverage.TV channels divided by political views, Television monarchy’s etc. But where U.S had the better stats was, out of hundreds of brave journalists, only few experienced some sort of resistance. This speaks for Freedom of speech itself.

Spending time with 6 more people, sharing my achievements, hearing theirs, motivating them to work for Pakistan. Asking them to be more tolerant towards everyone and spread positive vibes.

Karaoke night as always, more bhangra on English songs and more walk back from downtown.

(Distances here are insane)

Day 3:

Just when I thought, the week couldn’t go any better, another thing struck. Mr. Mike’s case study class, I read the case study for 40 mins before class. Yep! Divided into the groups, my group got the role of the, “Greedy Capitalist,” where we did a fine job. Proud of you guys. This experience changed my perception of looking at things from different sides. One of those cases where one problem can effect almost every sector, i.e. Economy, freedom of speech, environment, general population etc.

Part 2 of the day, got on Dodge minivan with Avery and Sean. We stopped for gas and there began the journey of peace to, “Bridge of Flowers.” Serenity! The town was so peaceful, people welcomed us with open hearts, and showed interest in learning about Pakistan.

Spending time with another set of people from group, again discussing how we can make Pakistan better after this.

Hours of shopping, buying make-up for my one and only sister. I had to put nail paint on too. Worth it!

Day 4:

July 4th, sunny day. I was anxiously waiting for this day. I tried to dress as American as possible.

(Shorts, Polo shirt, American flag color shades, American flag pin and Cow-boy Hat.)

As we were making our way towards the parade venue. It felt like we were a part of Protocol or something. Led by Mr. Mike himself. Huge line of mini van’s. Go Civic Initiative!

Anyway, the venue was handled by members of local community, the police were so active. Everywhere you look, you’d see people walking in orderly manner, carrying flags. Showing how an educated and civilized nations behave.

The best part about the parade would be that they appreciated everyone involved in the community service. It is absolute necessary to appreciate the people for what they do! LOVED IT! SO TAKING THIS IDEA BACK TO PAKISTAN!

Fireworks and long walk back home.

I will be honest, fireworks in Islamabad have their own taste of excitement. This was a fire cracker compared to it. Nevertheless, again huge gathering of people and extremely organized people.

Days like these remind you of the cost, the nation has to pay for freedom. Be it U.S.A or Pakistan. Freedom is built on blood and sweat of countless soul.

Again, more discussion with group members!

Day 5:

Jummah (Friday) is one day, most of us were looking forward too. Hampshire Mosque has conquered our hearts. Peace of mind. That’s it.

Miss Sam, gave us the insight of religion in USA and I was shocked to see how much of a wrong perception we have of religion in USA back home.

I think it made me more empathetic to people of different religions.

More exploring of Downtown area.

Day 6:

Weekends are always fun, because who doesn’t like to get up late!

Trip to Book Mill will always be a memorable one, small area of few shops, on a bank of stream.

I bought a book for the 2nd time in my life. “Sustainability” which is my favorite area, and I will be dedicating my life to it. Bathing in cold stream was life time experience!

Crazy house party at Tea’s house. Her family was so welcoming and they organized such a nice gathering. We got chance to interact with more American Students, who were younger than us but I would say more aware about certain things.

3 hours of dancing, the after effects are still here! (Where can I buy new legs?)

More walks around campus with a friend who really needed help this time, because of home-sickness. A time well spent!

Day 7:

Sunday was more of me hanging out with me, sleeping and giving time to family back home.

All in all, 2nd week was eye opening. Life in America has its own challenges, but then again, the world is not perfect, we can only try and make it better by putting in the effort.

So far, our mentors have been amazing in facilitating us, the academic side as well as social side. It’s a fairy tale wrapped with reality checks.

I have forgotten so many lolli-pop moments of this week. Haha.

I feel blessed to be here. I love challenges and this place keeps giving more and more. LOVE IT!

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timehealsfanfictionbka · 6 years

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Time Heals.....Chapter Seven

Robyn didn’t know what to say as she stared at Chris’s gift. In such short time, he reminded her of why they had become friends in the first place and it irritated her just as much as it elated her. Watching Tiana’s face as she walked up behind Chris during their earlier FaceTime call made her feel disrespected even though the woman didn't say anything to her. The glare in her eye, that she tried to cover up, reminded her of Chris’s first girlfriend. Sherry tried everything in her power to get her and Chris to stop being friends but it never worked. Chris was never disrespectful or even crossed the line while in a relationship but for some reason that was never enough.

Chris could remember only one time before that he ever felt this nervous. He watched as Robyn stared at the gift, unable to read her expression, he felt his hands start to sweat. He wasn’t sure what she was thinking about and that scared him. He was trying so hard to make up for his carelessness and inconsiderate handling of their past but he knew it would take more than this to right that wrong. A wrong that only few people knew about that he still had to atone for.

“You don’t like it,” he said softly.

Robyn jumped as if breaking out of a trance, “No, it’s beautiful. I just can't believe you did this for them.”

“For y’all. You’re in the picture too.”

“Well duh but this is just- wow.”

“I can drop it off when I come pick up the twins tomorrow.’

“Chris, about that.”

“Come on Robs, don’t do that.”

“Chris, I know you aren’t this clueless to think this isn’t gonna cause a problem with your wife.”

“Tiana is-”

Robyn held up her hand, stopping him mid-sentence, “Don’t you dare say she’s fine. You might not have caught the hint but I saw her face when you were talking about it. It’s not that big of a deal to cause an issue in your marriage.”

“Robyn, she’s gonna have to get used to you and the girls being around. You’re my friend.”

“And I’d like to remain that but not at the expense of causing an issue.”

“Robyn.”

“Chris, I know what you’re trying to do and I want you to stop it. I’m over it, just let it go.”

“You know I can’t not until we talk about it.”

“Christopher.”

“Fine. I’ll drop it for now.”

“Thank you. And thank you for the picture. It really is beautiful.”

“You’re welcome.”

“How did you even find time to do this?”

“You know I draw a lot when I’m bored or just can’t relax. One day, I was just at home and I started sketching and it eventually became this.”

“This took longer than just a day.”

“More like two weekends since I gotta work or whatever. It’s been a while since I took on an art project.”

“I really wish the girls were up to see this but they were exhausted after school today.”

“It’s cool. I think it’d be cooler for them to see in person anyway.”

Robyn went to speak when she noticed Tiana walking up behind Chris, “Alright VA, I’ma let you go.”

“Are you gonna let me babysit?”

“I think there’s someone else you need to talk to about that first but I will stop by with them so you can see them and pick up the picture, ok?”

Chris sighed, “I guess.”

“Next time, I promise.”

“I’ma hold you to that. Bye Bajan Girl.”

“Talk to you later.”

They hung up.

Chris set the framed picture down beside his desk and turned around, “I figured you had walked in.”

Tiana raised her brow as she came and sat down on the edge of the desk, “how’d you figure that?”

“Only explanation why she was ready to hang up. Robyn seems to think you have an issue with her.”

“I don’t know her to have an issue with her.”

“So the issue is with me?”

Tiana shrugged, “you’ve changed since we’ve been here and I don’t know if it’s a good or bad thing.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’ve found out more than I have ever known about you in the last few weeks than the last eight years of our marriage.”

“What? The only thing new to you is Robyn.”

“Exactly. You have never mentioned her in the last eight years, we come back to Houston and I can’t stop hearing about her. I never knew she was so close to your family or that you were so close to hers. This is information, as your wife, I should’ve known already.”

“If Robyn was an ex or something, I’d get your point but she’s just my friend.”

“Your best friend. Since the 4th grade. That’s a significant person in your life.”

“Tiana-”

“No. Also why haven’t you spoken to her in eight years?”

“It’s a long, very complicated story.”

“And?”

“And it’s personal to her. It’s not my place to say.”

“Chris, what is going on here?”

“I’m just trying to live my life. Getting discharged was a huge shock and blow to me. Now I have to re-evaluate everything not only I had planned but we had planned. I never anticipated being back here and I’m sure you feel the same way.”

“Chris, I know but I feel like I’m meeting a different person. All this time, I’m thinking you just had this, I don’t know, normal life to come back here and realize there’s some many other people involved with you that I never knew about. You didn’t think I would want to know about your childhood friends, especially one whose mother you call mom?”

“Since we fell out before I left, I didn’t think it was relevant. I wasn’t trying to hide anything from you, it was really something I was trying to avoid thinking about. Things ended horribly and it’s just- it was easier to forget about it.”

“Baby, honestly, I’m uncomfortable with how close you two are.”

“Tiana.”

“Chris, this has nothing to do with insecurity or anything. I’m just not used to seeing you like this and it’s just crazy to me.”

“I don’t want you to be uncomfortable but-”

“Chris, I’m not asking you to stop being friends with her. I just- I don't know.”

“Tiana, I’m not sure what you want me to do. I’ve known her most of my life so we’ve developed a certain level of comfort that I’m not sure I can just turn off.”

“I know. I just feel left out, you know.”

“Baby, there’s no reason for that. You’re always welcome to come around and I’ve told you that.”

“It’s just awkward because I don’t really know her.”

“You can get to know her. Look, how about I set up a dinner for all three of us?”

“Chris.”

“I want my wife and my best friend to be cool. I swear it will be fine.”

“Ok, Chris.”

“Thank you.”

Chris leaned forward and pecked her lips, “you know how much I love you right?”

“Yea. I love you too.”

~~~~~~

“You ok?”

Robyn looked up from mixing the food on her plate to Joyce’s smiling face. Robyn gave her a half-smile as she nodded her head, “I’m good.”

“Now Robyn, I’ve known you for a long time, don’t lie to me. What’s going on?”

“Chris invited me out to dinner.”

“Ok.”

“With his wife.”

Joyce’s brow raised slightly, “ok. What’s the problem?”

“The fact you raised your brow means you know the problem.”

“Robyn.”

“I really don’t need nor want to be in the middle of whatever they got going on. It’s awkward enough as it is.”

“Maybe he’s trying to make it not awkward.”

“Still not seeing how that would be a good idea.”

“Robyn, he wants to be friends again. His wife is a normal obstacle that you have to work through. She’s not temporary like his ex-girlfriends.”

“I’m not understanding what any of that has to do with me. I don’t monopolize his time.”

“In fact, you avoid spending as much time with him as possible.”

“What? How’d-”

“I know you, Robyn and there’s something you are protecting.”

Robyn scoffed to herself, this woman had no idea how right she was.

“Mama J, all I’ve ever done is protect. From Chris when we were younger to my family, you and my kids. I don’t think this is a good idea and I don’t see what good could come from it.”

“You could gain a new friend.”

“I don’t need a new friend. I barely feel like dealing with my old friends.”

Joyce laughed as she reached over and squeezed Robyn’s hand, “I know there’s some things that may have happened to you in the past that you may still unconsciously be holding onto but trust me, Angel, time really does heal all wounds.”

“Mama J, I really wished I could believe that.”

~~~~~~

Robyn ran her hand down the front of the black shirt dress. She couldn’t believe she let Mama J talk her into attending this godforsaken dinner. She knew the only reason why Chris was doing this was because Tiana had an issue with them being friends again. Honestly, she’d think it’d just be easier for them to stop being friends altogether instead of having to go through all of this.

She pulled on a pair of black knee high boots then pulled her hair into a messy bun on the top of her head. She promised Mama J she would have an open mind so that’s what she was gonna do. Throwing her keys and phone into her small black purse, she headed outside to her car. Just as she opened the driver side door, she saw headlights flash as a black Mercedes pulled in beside her car. Her furrowed brow relaxed when the driver window opened. It was Chris and Tiana.

Chris smiled and waved, “hey Bajan Girl.”

“Hey. What are you doing here? I thought I was meeting you at the restaurant.”

“We were on the way and I kinda realized-”

“You don’t know how to get to the restaurant,” Robyn interjected. She laughed, “you can follow me. It’s like 15 minutes from here.”

“Cool. After you.”

Chris rolled up his window as Robyn climbed into her car. A few moments later, she pulled out of her driveway then Chris followed suit.

#chrianna #timehealsfanfiction

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skeletonscribbles · 6 years

Text

Wishes - Chapter 12

there was really no getting around including Star Wars Weekend.

Disney folks - I KNOW you can't get specialty drinks at Starring Rolls but I'm too lazy to make them go to a kiosk, okay? also I haven't been to SWW in a minute. they probably have different food now, but all the Disney Food Blog entries I looked at were back from like 2015 so I'm operating under the assumption that the novelty shit doesn't change.

Anyways.

Chapter Title: “Cantina Song” (Stan)

Warnings: unintelligible memeing, “Luke Skywalker is gay” discourse, some discussion of discrimination

meme references: I Have The High Ground Now THIS is Podracing That's....why I'm here.... (Comment your fave prequel meme if you have one - mine’s Obi Wan’s “Hello There” but I couldn’t figure out how to fit it in to the chapter RIP)

READ ON AO3

Tag List: @roobarrtrashmouth @jem-carstairs-is-perfection @tozier-club @aizeninlefox @stanheartsbill @imrichie @softeds @pretzelstoday @melancholypurple @wheezygreens @ayyyymichele @loser-marsh

STANLEY URIS FRONT DESK COORDINATOR, YACHT CLUB RESORT but more immediately DISNEY’S HOLLYWOOD STUDIOS MAY 4TH 11 A.M.

“It’s not that I don’t think Star Wars looks interesting,” Stan explained for what felt like the zillionth time that day. “Aesthetically, I’m all about it. I saw a PBS special one time about how they painted some of the sets - that was really cool.”

“So the reason you haven’t seen any of the films is…”

“Purely meme-related, yes.” Stan sighed and rubbed at his eyes. “I don’t understand what’s so hard to grasp about that.”

“Everything, Stan!” Mike all but shouted (though there was a tell-tale wobbliness to his voice that suggested he was on the verge of laughter). “Everything!”

Star Wars Weekend was one of the more baffling annual events on property for Stan. Aside from his never having seen the movies, Stan also wasn’t sure why the entire shebang took place in Hollywood Studios (his least favorite park), especially because the Star Wars Land expansion wasn’t even finished yet. All Studios had to offer for the event was boring old motion-simulator Star Tours and the giant stomp robot it was housed in (“the AT-AT, Stan,” Mike had sighed at least 15 times in the past hour alone). That said, though, Mike loved Star Wars and had apparently been looking forward to getting his picture taken with the round rolling robot (“he has a name, Stan, call him BB-8!”) for quite some time now. Since February and the veritable relationship shitstorm they’d weathered, Stan had been extra determined to compromise wherever he could to show Mike that he was in this for the long run, and as compromises ran, Star Wars Weekend wasn’t a bad one by any means.

“Do you want me to watch the movies, Mike?” he asked, resigned.

Mike laughed and pulled up the bottom of his Rebel Alliance shirt to mop the sweat off of his face. Stan didn’t even bother to hide the way his eyes slid down to Mike’s newly exposed stomach, and made a mental note to ask a Cast Member how long Star Tours was so he could gauge whether or not it was feasible to fool around on the ride. (So far, they’d managed some light groping on the 11 minute ride through the Haunted Mansion, and would have gotten even farther on Pirates except that Stan had Richie’s voice in his head the whole time reminding him of “all the fuckin’ shit I’ve seen on those cameras, Stan, I swear to whatever Jewish God you pray to”.)

“I should have asked if you liked Star Wars, like...weeks ago,” Mike said sadly. “I guess I just assumed. I’m sorry.”

“No worries,” Stan assured him, putting a comforting and not at all lascivious hand on his bicep. “I love Star Wars Weekend. It’s like living in another country for two days. I don’t understand shit about what’s going on, but the food is good and it’s pretty fucking funny if you play your cards right.”

“Another country?” Mike smiled. “Another planet, more like.”

Stan laughed. “Now you’re getting it. Speaking of miscommunications, do we have word from Richie and Eddie?”

“Operation double date is a go,” Mike confirmed, pulling out his phone to double check his texts. “Eddie said they’d be here in like twenty minutes.”

“Cool,” Stan said, and was surprised to find that he meant it. Richie had been in the apartment less and less as his relationship with Eddie had gotten more and more serious, which had culminated in Stan seeing Richie maybe twice over the entirety of the past two weeks. (Stan hoped that meant that they were finally having sex. It would be such a relief to know that Richie had built himself back up to a place where he was finally ready to make that happen.) Stan would never admit it to Richie’s face, but he was starting to miss having Richie around. He was running out of things to clean in the apartment, because no one was around to leave dishes in the sink or leave toothpaste smeared across the bathroom counter. It should have been a relief, but instead it was weird. He’d had Richie around for so long that the idiot had become a central part of his daily routines, and while he was happy that his friend was finally getting his shit together, it was going to be tough to reimagine his life with less Richie.

But. That was a problem for Later Stan.

“So,” Mike continued, “I was thinking maybe we grab food and then head for character meet-and-greets once they arrive? I’ve been waiting to eat chocolate Darth Vader cake all day, and if we don’t do that before Richie shows up, he’ll try to steal off of our plates.”

“True!” Stan brightened at the idea of food. He’d seen people walking around with some kind of blue drink that he’d been dying to try all day. “I think they’ve got cupcakes and stuff at that bakery over by Sunset?”

Mike shrugged. “Sounds right. It’ll be deserted over there, too - no one wants to ride Tower of Terror during Star Wars Weekend. Wanna walk?”

“I do,” Stan said, taking up a brisk pace towards the Sunset Boulevard themed area of the park. “I might be wrong about the cupcakes, though. I really don’t know this park at all. I only come here with Richie.”

“Let me guess,” Mike said knowingly, following Stan across the park, “he takes you here because he likes to feel like he’s doing better than someone at the Toy Story Midway Mania game.”

Stan almost stopped in his tracks. “How did you know?”

“He took me here the first time we hung out solo, too,” Mike said, catching up with Stan during his momentary lull and taking his hand. Stan couldn’t help but smile a little bit at the gesture, even though he was sure he’d drop Mike’s hand sooner rather than later - May in Florida meant that things were already almost unbearably muggy. “I think he takes everyone here so that he can gauge their Toy Story shooting skills.”

“And you were better than him?” Stan guessed.

“I wasn’t worse,” Mike agreed. “His hand-eye coordination needs some serious work.”

“No, my hand-eye coordination needs some serious work,” Stan sighed, spotting the bakery he was thinking of and making a beeline for it with Mike in tow. “Richie just can’t see. He has to wear the 3D glasses on top of his regular glasses.”

“Well, if we ever ride that ride together, I’ll let you win, sweetheart,” Mike promised, and Stan reached up to pull his curls desperately down over his ears so as to hide how red they’d just gotten. Mike really was the least selfish person on Earth. How had he, Stanley Uris, gotten so lucky?

But...now wasn’t the time to reflect on selfishness, because that would just make both of them a little bit sad. Neither of them had reached out to Bill at all since early March, and while they’d admitted to one another that they felt a little bit like they hadn’t given him enough of a chance (although Mike still felt worse about it than Stan did - it was in Mike’s nature to hope for change, and it was in Stan’s nature to know that things were going to stay the same), their residual guilt hadn’t been enough to warrant a check-in with their ex-partner just yet.

It would have to be soon, though - they both knew that. The seven of them were booked to visit Anaheim in just two short months, and if they weren’t amiable by then, Bev would kill them.

Soon wasn’t now, though. They’d be ready when they were ready.

“Let’s just never ride that ride together, okay?” Stan suggested, stopping in front of the bakery and checking out the menu signs out front. “Is this the cupcake you wanted?”

“Are these the droids I’m looking for?” Mike joked, but it fell on deaf ears. Stan knew a fair amount of Star Wars jokes as a result of his longtime dedication to r/funny (and he was absolutely positive that they’d be made less funny by his actually having seen the films, he just knew it, which was the real, core reason why he hadn’t bitten the bullet and watched the goddamn movies), but he had long since resigned himself to the fact that there were some references he was just never going to get.

“Chocolate Darth Vader,” Stan continued, trying to save them both some embarrassment. “Or was it this Jabba the Hutt….thing?”

Mike squinted at the menu, paying special attention to what was apparently a new item as of this year’s Star Wars Weekend. “That is the ugliest fucking cupcake I’ve ever seen in my life.”

“Can’t be uglier than Eddie’s mom!”

Fuck. Eddie’s stupid homing beacon brain had obviously struck again. Sighing heavily, Stan smoothed down his navy polo and turned around to greet his roommate.

“Hello Stan!” Eddie was three steps ahead of Richie, beaming as he bounded across the red concrete towards them. The shirt he was wearing had really obviously belonged to Richie at some point - the first clue was that it was white with Han Solo silhouetted in black on the front (Eddie didn’t know shit about Star Wars), and the second was that Eddie was absolutely swimming in it. In spite of both of those things, Eddie was in better spirits than Stan had maybe ever seen him, to the point where Stan was almost afraid that Eddie was going to hug him when he got close enough.

“Eddie,” Stan greeted, raising a hand slowly to wave cordially at their two friends as Mike slowly shifted his attention away from the cupcake selection. “Richie.”

“Stanakin Skywalker,” Richie grinned, coming up behind Eddie and sliding a hand easily onto Eddie’s shoulder, “here with Pad-Mike Amidala.”

Stan stared at him, wondering vaguely if he’d actually forgotten that Stan had zero knowledge of the Star Wars films. “Who?”

“Never mind.” Richie waved a conceding hand. The motion of his wave drew Stan’s eyes to his shirt, which was the most hideous brown monstrosity Stan had maybe ever seen (modeled after that creature that was always with Han Solo whose name Stan always forgot), and he wondered: had he actually missed Richie Tozier, or had his mind just gone soft and nostalgic from being alone in the apartment?

“How’d you find us, Eddie?” Mike asked, smiling warily down at the top of Eddie’s head. “I didn’t text you that we were getting food, did I?”

Eddie shrugged. “Had a hunch. Richie saw one of those blue drinks and thought that Stan would like that, and I know you can get those here, so.”

Stan looked at Richie, who was smiling at his giant, converse-clad feet, and felt a little bit sad all over again. His empty apartment nostalgia brain had nothing to do with how big of a hole Richie’s semi-departure had actually left in his life.

But again - that was a problem for Later Stan.

“Come on, Rich,” Stan said, moving towards the doors of the Starring Rolls Cafe and beckoning to his friend. “I’ll buy you a cupcake.”

Richie’s resulting smile was enough to make Stan consider skipping the fireworks show - it was that much of a spectacle. “He does care!”

“I always have, dipshit,” Stan muttered, walking pointedly away from Richie and into the air-conditioned cafe. Immediately, he let out a sigh of relief - the Florida heat fucking sucked, and he could practically feel his hair going nuts with it at this point in the day. Behind him, he heard Richie following along and chattering enthusiastically, but he tuned that out in favor of locating the blue drink he wanted on the menu. Once he found it, he couldn’t help but scowl...there was no way he was going to be able to pronounce the name of that cocktail well enough to order it. Reluctantly, he turned back to Mike.

“Hey sweetheart,” he began slowly, “the blue drink....”

Mike glanced at the menu, and then he threw his head back and let out a long laugh. Embarrassed, Stan tightened his shoulders and turned around.

“Never mind, I don’t--”

“Alderaan,” Mike said, still wheezing with laughter. “It’s pronounced All - deh - rahn...although if you want to pay homage to that meme you like about the high ground, you should get the red Mustafar thing--”

Stan considered that. On the one hand, he was mortified enough at this point to be seriously considering just skipping the drink altogether, but on the other...he did love that meme...

“Richie?” He glanced off to the right, scanning the room for Richie, who had become suspiciously quiet since they’d entered the bakery. “Tell me what you want so I can ge--”

The sentence dried up in Stan’s mouth as he locked eyes with one Bill Denbrough, who was standing next to a sheepish looking Richie. Stan vaguely registered the presence of Eddie, Beverly, and Ben behind Bill, but it didn’t matter that they were there, not really.

Well, it did, kind of. He tore his eyes from Bill and quickly scanned each of their faces - Richie looked uncomfortable, Eddie looked kind of sick, Ben looked embarrassed, and Bev...Bev looked…

Stan turned back to the left to glance at Mike, and when Mike met his gaze, a small nod confirmed Stan’s suspicions: this was Beverly Marsh’s doing, most definitely.

Bill himself looked more gaunt than Stan remembered - as if someone had taken the face that Stan remembered and stretched it thinner, made it longer, made it sadder, almost. His blue eyes stood in stark contrast to the circles around them, and they looked scared.

Bizarrely, that detail was almost comforting to Stan. It was good that Bill was a little frightened. That was better than Bill being indignant, or having that Denbrough fiery conviction in his eyes. No...frightened, Stan could work with. It gave him leverage, at the very least.

Mike would feel bad about it, though - and Stan could see him already starting to feel bad about it, guilt was creeping across his face and sinking his shoulders. Damn it.

Bill spoke first. “You didn’t t-tell me they were going to be here, Bev.”

Oh. That was new. Stan knew that Bill had stuttered in his youth, but he hadn’t ever actually heard him do it. Was it a ploy, or was it legitimate? Was it shitty of Stan to even be thinking that question?

“You guys were never going to get here on your own,” Bev said cooly, and Stan felt a little spike of anger at her - who was she to dictate the terms of this revisitation? They weren’t ready. None of them were ready, and Hollywood Studios was the wrong venue for any kind of confrontation.

Before he could collect his thoughts well enough to voice his displeasure, though, Eddie was speaking. “Should we go, then?” he asked, twisting the hem of his shirt in his hands nervously. “We could get in line for Star Tours, maybe? Or the Luke Skywalker meet-and-greet?”

“Do you know the names of any Star Wars characters that aren’t Luke Skywalker?” Richie asked fondly, re-situating his hand on Eddie’s shoulder. Eddie leaned into the touch, smiling quietly to himself.

“I like Luke Skywalker.” Eddie defended himself without any real heat, sliding a hand up to cover Richie’s. “He’s gay.”

Ben half-covered his face with his hand. “Oh, Eddie…”

“We’ll go,” Bev decided loudly, grabbing for Ben’s hand and leading him towards the door. “Text me when you’re ready to join us, boys. We’ll be in line for something or other, probably.”

Bev, Ben, Richie, and Eddie swept out of the restaurant together, and all of Stan’s angry words were left to fester as the four of them disappeared into the crowd, chattering about the merits of meeting Princess Leia (Bev’s choice) versus meeting Luke Skywalker (Eddie’s choice).

For the first time since February, Stan, Mike, and Bill were alone together. It was almost funny that they were reconciling in a restaurant, Stan thought, except that it was really not funny at all. None of them had moved, so they weren’t even set up to have a private conversation - they were stuck just staring at each other across the bakery as patrons entered and exited.

After a long thirty seconds, Mike strode forward, and gestured to Stan to follow him. Stan clenched his fists and entertained the idea of resisting - he didn’t want either of them to be drawn back into the vortex they’d been in before, the last two months had been so good - but in the end, he followed, because this wasn’t about going back, not really. It was about moving forward.

How have you been, Bill?” Mike asked softly, offering out a hand for Bill to shake.

Bill stared at Mike’s hand as if it were going to bite him, but Mike held firm, and after an excruciating moment, Bill relented. Stan was surprised at how visibly Bill relaxed when his brain finally processed that Mike and Stan weren’t going to be hostile. He deflated like a balloon, sagging his shoulders and sliding his hand into Mike’s.

“Okay,” Bill said, and Stan could almost feel the way his face immediately synched up with Mike’s as they raised their eyebrows at Bill skeptically. Bill stared at them for a second, and then choked out a laugh, eyes widening incredulously. “Okay, not great, not really even okay, actually. Holy shit, you guys.”

“Sorry,” Mike said, at the same time that Stan said, “Now THIS is podracing,” and Bill let out another hoarse laugh.

“Is that a meme?” he asked, smiling up at Stan, and Stan felt his stomach clench upon seeing the little crinkly smile lines around Bill’s eyes. How fucking odd, to remember the things that you were attracted to in a person without experiencing the actual attraction.

“Yes,” Stan said, and found that his voice wasn’t nearly as sharp as he’d anticipated it being. “Of course it’s a meme. You know me.”

Bill looked like he had something to say on that point, but to Stan’s great surprise, he kept it to himself.

“Guest Relations still going okay? I never see you in the tunnels,” Mike continued, already grasping for straws as far as small talk topics were concerned. The conversation was going to have to get serious soon - Stan wasn’t sure why Mike was delaying the inevitable.

“It’s fine,” Bill shrugged. “Kind of boring. I see Richie and Eddie sometimes, but mostly it’s just the usual sitting at the window and fielding complaints. How’s Splash? And Yacht?”

“Splash is great, actually,” Mike said, smiling slowly. “I’m glad I transferred there. I’m having a lot of fun.”

If Bill was upset about that, he was doing a good job of not showing it. “I’m glad. And you, Stan?”

Stan nodded, trying to be as agreeable as possible. “We’ve got wings closed for renovation, so it’s pretty quiet. Once we’re full steam ahead again, though, I’m going to put in for Manager.”

Bill swung his eyes over to meet Stan’s, and Stan was surprised by how open his expression was. “Good. Sounds like you’re both doing well.”

Mike and Stan exchanged a nervous glance. “We’re fine, yeah.”

There was an awkward silence, exacerbated by Bill turning away for a few seconds to look at the cupcake case. Once he turned back, Mike spoke again.

“I’m sorry for what happened in February,” he said, and Stan straightened up. Finally, finally, finally they had reached the meat of the conversation - and the sooner they got through it, the sooner this terrible interaction would be finished. “I know I wasn’t fair.”

Mike turned his head after he was finished speaking and fixed Stan with a look that indicated that he expected Stan to apologize too...but Stan wasn’t quite there yet.

“Have you thought about what we said?” he asked instead, and he felt rather than saw Mike’s cringe.

Bill didn’t seem upset, though. In fact, he looked as though he had expected that line of questioning. “If I said yes, Stan, would you believe me?”

Stan didn’t really know what his answer to that question was. Fortunately, Mike was able to make a quicker judgement call.

“I would,” said Mike. “February Bill would have been pretty mad that we were doing well without him, I think, and you seem….you seem calm, Bill. Have you been talking to someone?”

“Just Bev,” he said, cutting eye contact with both of them and looking at the ground sheepishly. “We still live together for the moment, but I think she’s looking at moving in with Ben? Is that true?” He looked specifically at Mike for that question, and Mike nodded carefully.

“I think so? I’m pretty evenly split between my place and Stan’s, so I don’t know for sure,” he said, and Stan’s eyes snapped back to Bill’s face, trying to gauge his reaction about Stan and Mike spending time together. To his credit, he didn’t seem fazed at all.

Fuck. Maybe things had changed over the past few months. Maybe Bill was trying to self-improve after all.

“But I’m thinking about seeing a therapist,” Bill continued, shuffling his feet a little bit, “just to like, talk to someone, you know? And I’ve been thinking about what you guys were saying about the not listening, because...well, Bev said it too, and I’m not...I’m working on it.”

Mike smiled sweetly. “I can tell.”

“Me too,” Stan admitted, and Bill’s eyes snapped up at that. He had obviously not expected Stan to be kind.

“I have a question, though,” Bill asked, in a tone that quietly indicated that he only half-wanted to ask his question.

“Shoot,” Mike and Stan said in unison, and Bill shuddered.

“Fucking weird, you guys. Anyways,” he said, taking his time as if trying to word it perfectly in his head. “I just...what happened? Why me? I know that’s probably like...ignorant or something? Maybe? I don’t know, but...I deserve to know that, I think.”

Stan smiled thinly. The old Bill - the “deserve” Bill - was not quite dead, after all.

Mike, as always, was kinder than Stan, and launched quickly into an explanation.

“Well, the minority versus non-minority thing was bigger than you thought it was, I think,” Mike said thoughtfully, and Stan nodded.

“Yeah, ditto that. There are some things you just can’t understand unless you’ve lived them.”

Bill frowned and shoved his hands into his pockets. “But Stan’s white.”

Stan exhaled lowly. “Yeah, and that’s not the same as Mike and all the shit he deals with, I know...but the Jewishness, Bill. It’s a thing, even if I haven’t really practiced in a minute...it’s a thing.”

Sighing, Bill inelegantly pushed a hand back through his hair. “Okay, I guess. Was that it?”

Stan looked at Mike, and Mike nodded back at him, giving him the non-verbal green light.

“The dynamic was weird,” Stan said, willing Bill to look him in the eyes for this part. It wasn’t happening, but it felt like it was important to try, so Stan persisted. “You like to be in charge, and the two of us aren’t really people that like having people in charge of us.”

“Yeah,” Mike agreed. “We’re not Richie and Eddie, Bill - heck, we’re not even Ben and Bev. We’ve got a whole different thing going on, you know?”

Bill’s eyes were all but glued to the floor. “That makes sense, I guess.”

“You don’t like it,” Mike said flatly, and Bill hesitated for a moment before nodding.

“I don’t,” Bill agreed. “But. It helps to know.”

“We should have explained it better,” Mike said, and Stan nodded shortly - almost indecipherably, because part of him was still resistant to apologizing, but he nodded all the same. “It’s just so fucking frustrating in the moment, you know?”

Bill barked out a laugh. “Yeah, I definitely know.”

Another silence fell upon them, but it was more comfortable now. Stan could practically see the other side of the conversation, and he was desperate to get there. The staff was starting to be weirded out by their continued presence.

“Are we going to be okay, then?” he asked, trying to drive the other two to a more practical place.

They both looked up at him with matching fond smiles, and he felt heat curl in his gut. Fuck, that was...something else.

“I don’t know about hanging today, if I’m honest,” Mike said, more blunt than usual (and Stan knew that was for his sake), “but we could try another day and see? That’ll give us time to prepare.”

Bill nodded thoughtfully. “Time to prepare sounds good. Bev really threw us under the bus today, huh.”

“She really fucking did,” Stan agreed sourly. “Which day?”

“I’m pretty tied up this month,” Bill admitted, “but maybe beginning of June? Do you guys have Universal Studios Season Passes? I haven’t been on Kong yet.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Mike smiled. “Cool. You staying for the rest of this Star Wars crazy, Bill?”

“Nah,” Bill said, waving a hand dismissively across his face. “I’m more of a Star Trek guy. Bev knows that, so I was a little confused about why she asked me to come today...I guess I know now. Anyways. I’ll probably go home and watch reruns of Arrested Development.”

Stan nodded, feeling light. “Well, godspeed, then.”

Bill looked between the two of them, looking half pleased and half exasperated. “God, Stan, you’re so--”

“I know,” Stan said, reaching for Mike’s hand. To his great relief, Mike took it immediately. “I know.”

There was still more to say - the air was thick with conversation they weren’t having, but it was time for Bill to go, and he knew it.

“Goodbye, then,” he finally said, backing towards the doors of the restaurant.

“Goodbye,” Mike and Stan chorused, waving him away until he pushed his way out and back into the Florida sun.

They stood there like that for a moment, hands clasped, and then looked back at each other.

“How do you say the name of that drink again?” Stan finally asked, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

Mike opened his mouth to respond, but before he could, someone tapped Stan on the shoulder.

It was one of the Starring Rolls employees, holding his blue, blue drink.

“Couldn’t help but overhear,” she said quickly as Stan read her nametag (‘Patricia’, and she looked like one, too, all dark curls and dimples). “This is on the house. Sorry about your friend.”

Stan blinked back at her, too surprised to speak, and Mike clapped a hand on his shoulder, laughing softly.

“In another life, he’d be considering asking you to marry him right about now,” Mike informed the girl, who laughed in response.

“Sounds like it would be nice,” she said, beaming at the two of them. “Alternate universe Patty Blum is pretty lucky. But for now, enjoy, okay? May the fourth be with you.”

“Thank you,” Stan said, thirty seconds too late - she was already headed back to her post.

“Pull yourself together, sweetheart,” Mike chided jokingly, holding up his phone, which was lit up with new text notifications. “Bev’s wondering where we are. You up for doing more shit? I know that was a lot to handle.”

Stan looked down at his drink, and then up at Mike, and felt his face split into a huge, crazy grin.

“That’s...why I’m here.”

Mike’s responding groan propelled them out of Starring Rolls and all the way back to where Bev, Ben, Richie, and Eddie were waiting for them.

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thecartoonarchivist · 6 years

Text

Weekly Spotlight #5

Welcome, welcome, one and all, to the Weekly Spotlight!

This week’s spotlight is~

*panting... and a weak drumroll*

Batman Beyond!

Some of my earliest memories of this show was watching reruns of it on Toonami at oddball times back just before Toonami got moved to a daytime time slot. During this time period, I found it to be a little mature for me, a little dark, and a little hard to follow since around this time I was about 4 years old. Still, I remember thinking it was cool, simply because Batman was cool, but otherwise, I wasn’t all that interested.

Back a couple years ago however, something in my mind trigger my memory of this show, and it became pretty apparent to me that I had never actually sat down and watched this show all the way through. So, I did some searching, found out Netflix had it on demand and I sat down and watched it whenever I was free to do so. I’d watch it a couple episodes at a time as I didn’t want to binge the entire thing in one sitting and leave me wondering how I was going to fill the void after finishing such a good series. It became a nice treat to watch on evenings and weekends and became a nice ritual for me. I enjoyed it.

However life became a little bit busy not too long later and I put the series to the side for a later date when things got a little less hectic. Besides, I was on the last episode and I really didn’t want to end the series just yet, so stepping away from the series didn’t seem like such a terrible thing to do.

I didn’t get back to it. Netflix took it off streaming. I pretty much admitted I was never going to finish the series and that was the end of that. I knew that it also had a movie afterwards to wrap up the series, since it was suddenly cancelled and since THAT wasn’t on Netflix either, it was pretty easy to just walk away from the show altogether.

However, a couple months ago, I saw a clip on Youtube that went into the origins of Terry McGinnis, the star and Batman of this series. It was in a completely different animation style, so I assumed that it was the direct-to-video movie. I was intrigued. And seeing as there was no hope that I was going to see this movie any time soon, I thought, “What the hell? Spoilers never hurt anyone.” The info, that I’ll get to later, left me so disgusted and outraged that I vowed never to watch the movie.

All of these things swirled in the back of my mind the next couple months and here we are! It’s getting it’s own Weekly Spotlight! So let’s get into it’s background, shall we?

Batman Beyond is an animated TV series that was premiered on Cartoon Network’s Toonami and even showed over on Kids’ WB’s Toonami on January 10, 1999. Yeah, you heard me right: Kids’ WB also had Toonami. So, let me throw down a little bit of history for ya’ll.

Cartoon Network is owned by the Turner Broadcasting Company, which is a subsidiary of AT&T’s Warner Media. Yeah--- that Warner Media. The Warner Media that makes DC comics, and DC TV shows, and just about anything DC under the sun. That means that they not only own the rights to Batman Beyond, they own the rights to Toonami, and Cartoon Network, and Kids’ WB. So as an attempt to diversify Kids’ WB’s afternoon line-up, Kids’ WB “borrowed” Toonami from Cartoon Network and began showing their own individual line-up, separate from Cartoon Network’s line-up. There was a little bit of an overlap, as I recall, since many popular shows were underneath the Toonami name, but overall, they’re line-up was fairly different. In 2002, Toonami was dropped from Kids’ WB and was replaced with syndicate programming and infomercials. (Kids’ WB wasn’t doing the greatest in the “kids” department and eventually, was absorbed by Warner Bros.’s other channel The CW in 2008.)

So, Batman Beyond was interesting in that it was showing on two stations at the same time. My research indicates that it premiered first on Cartoon Network, and then would show over on Kids’ WB not too long later, but there’s a lot of conflicting sources in that regard. Pretty much the only thing I’m certain of is that it premiered new episodes on Toonami, but as far as whose Toonami, I have no idea.

Batman Beyond was an intended continuation of the “Batman legacy,” or more importantly, a follow-up to the legendary Batman: The Animated Series. At the helm of this ship was a man named, Bruce Timm, who was a co-creator of Batman: The Animated Series. He would go on to co-create and produce Static Shock, Justice League, Justice League Unlimited, and produce for Green Lantern: The Animated Series. This guy’s a legend. Although extremely popular amongst fans and critics alike, the short-lived series only had 3 seasons before it was placed on hiatus and eventually cancelled. The simple reason? Time. Having signed aboard with the creation and production of Justice League, Bruce Timm simply didn’t have the time to be working on both series, despite attempting for a little while. All plans for a 4th season were discarded, and as to whether there were any episodes produced or if there were simply ideas on a sheet of paper, only the production team themselves know the answer to that question.

So! Let’s get to the premise!

So, the beginning of this series actually opens up with Bruce Wayne still as Batman. While his company of Wayne Enterprises is dealing with competition by the Powers Corporation, Bruce is on the look-out for a girl who has been kidnapped in association with the Powers Corporation. (At least, that’s how I interpreted it.) He finds her, fights the baddies to save her, but in the midst of the tussle, Bruce starts to suffer a mild heart-attack. He tries his best to continue the fight but is quickly overpowered. Having had the living snot beat out of him, Bruce Wayne does the only thing he can do in this situation (still suffering a heart-attack mind you) and pick up a gun and aims it at his assailant. Freaked out by the fact that Batman is threatening to use a gun for the first time ever, he runs away to meet the cops outside. The girl is freed and Batman hobbles away completely disappointed in himself. He places the suit inside the Batcave, seals it all away and vows never again to have the caped crusader to see another night.

Fast forward 20 years. Gotham is practically a brand new city. There are flying cars everywhere. Tech is crazy and out the wazoo--- think something along the lines of a Cyberpunk aesthetic--- and Wayne Enterprises is now dealing with a hostile take-over by the Powers Corporation with Bruce Wayne surprisingly absent from the whole affair. Gotham, as always, is dealing with rampant crime; one of the most vocal and trouble-making groups being the Jokerz--- a gang with its members dressed up in outfits very similar in style to the original Joker gang. Enter in Terry McGinnis: he’s just your typical teenager dealing with girl problems, bullies, and a real bad habit of placing his foot inside his mouth whenever he gets angry.

Having been grounded by his Dad for punching a kid at school for spitting on him, Terry sneaks out to meet his girlfriend at a local club. While there, the Jokerz show up and Terry quickly comes to the aid of his girlfriend and tries to teach these pranksters a lesson. Quickly overwhelmed by their sheer numbers, Terry steals a motorcycle and thus a good ol’ motorcycle chase begins. Finding himself outside of Wayne Manor, Terry runs into Bruce Wayne, almost hitting him with the motorcycle. Bruce Wayne tells him to get off his property, but with the Jokerz showing up mere seconds later, they team up to fight them off (Bruce doing most of the ass-kicking despite his crazy old age.) Terry turns to thank him but finds that Bruce is near collapse and needs help getting to his manor where his medicine is. Having gotten his medicine, Bruce falls asleep and Terry takes this opportunity to explore a little bit. Finding a bat trapped in an old grandfather clock, Terry stumbles upon the Batcave and all its contents. Bruce finds him in the Batcave and subsequently throws Terry out of both the Batcave and his property.

Terry, miffed about the whole experience, returns home to find the police swarming his Dad’s apartment. Questioning his Mom what happened, apparently, the Jokerz surprised him while he was at home and murdered him. Having fought with his Dad only hours before he was killed, Terry is distraught, wracked with grief, and determined to figure out who it was who killed his father. Looking amongst his Dad’s old possessions, Terry finds a disk with some suspicious looking info on it and goes back to Wayne Manor to solicit Bruce’s help. After a series of events, Bruce agrees to take him on formally as his personal assistant who chauffeurs him around and picks up items that he is unable to get himself, but secretly, he’s training him to become his successor and to become the new Batman!

Whew... I think that’s my longest premise to date! (I basically had to summarize the first 2 episodes because it sets up basic situation for the entire series. It’s a lot to take in...)

So...let’s start off with the animation.

As you can see from the previous gifs thus far, for how old this series is the animation is is really fluid. The fight scenes are clean. The attention to detail is so fantastic. Even the character expression are so subtle and beautiful that it’s just so hard not to feel for the characters whenever tragedy strikes. But... it’s also dated. Since many of the backgrounds are hand-painted, a lot of fights on city rooftops, or bridges, or even sinister laboratories are pretty generic and even recycled from time to time. The color palette, although unique enough to give it its own funky style, is... yikes... And the intro? God, it just screams the 90s.

Since I can’t get any other gifs of the intro to work, if you want to see it in all its 90s glory, here’s a link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMXjtvMAFlI It’s so cheesy and awful and terrible. I fucking love it.

The soundtrack is this weird... 90s punk with a twinge of metal, with its shredding electric guitar and electronically distorted bass as well as some... electronic additions? Honestly, if the intro didn’t sell you on how old this series is, the soundtrack does. For the most part, the soundtrack sounds like an regular action cartoon series, but went that electronic guitar kicks in.... *whistles* It’s bad.

As for the rest of the show? It’s... it’s fucking fantastic. You’d think that writing for a teenage protagonist, especially a Batman teenage protagonist, they’d really hype up the melodrama and the angst to the point that it’s just flat-out cringe-worthy. I mean, all you have to do is google the recent dystopia craze that’s been plaguing teen action movies to see how... cringey the protagonists are. And I mean, how was a 19-year-old action animation not only touch on the stress of being a teenager, but also one whose Dad is murdered in the first episode of the series? It sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.

Turns out... they actually did a really great job of writing Terry. He really does seem like any other male teen you’d meet in high school. A lot of people try to talk about how teenage angst is just so terrible and awful to watch and that it’s flat-out cringey. The problem is that teenage angst is a real thing and if it’s written-correctly, it actually seems believable. The interesting part about Terry’s case that makes him an actually interesting character instead of a walk-talking edgelord is that a lot of his “angst” comes from a place that he believes is injustice. He believes that a lot of people are being unfair (and in some cases, they really are) and so he goes out to fix these “injustices.” Problem is that in his attempt to “fix” things, he actually makes things worse. He doesn’t see that other people’s decisions are actually made to protect him, or made for other reasons that he can’t see. So instead, he rushes in headlong and unprepared, running his mouth because he feels he’s doing the right thing, and ends up getting himself in deeper trouble. I felt a connection with Terry because although he was a punk kid getting into trouble, causing fights and mouthing off to his parents, he’s just somebody trying to make the world a better place and ultimately, failing really bad at it. He makes stupid decisions because he doesn’t think things through. He thinks that he knows best, when in all reality, he isn’t even playing with a full deck of cards. And it’s because of these character flaws that I love Terry and it’s what makes him so interesting to watch. And the best part is? When Terry realizes he fucks up, he admits it. He apologizes. He even cries because he’s made a mistake that he can’t ever undo. He’s not some idiot who thinks he’s better than everyone else--- he’s just an idiot who’s trying to make the world a better place. And that’s really cool. They wrote him with real emotions and a realistic responses to stressful situations that never came across as melodramatic. Instead of writing him as a teen who has emotions, they wrote him as a person with emotions who just happens to be a teen. And that’s just fucking awesome.

I loved Bruce’s and Terry’s dynamic. You had grouchy, old Bruce who’s just way too tired for this shit, helping out sassy, back-talking teenager Terry that made for fantastic snark sessions. Like... the sarcasm was palpable between these two and I loved every second of it. The fact that this series won numerous awards when it debuted isn’t surprising because it’s just a treat to watch the misadventures of these two sass-masters is fucking great.

As far as Terry’s home life, it seems pretty realistic. Terry’s got a little brother named, Matt, and as an individual who has a little brother myself, the interactions are pretty realistic. The little arguments, the nit-picking, the pranks--- all of them felt pretty true to life. Now, the interesting thing about this series is that the martial status of the McGinnis’s are unknown. Although Terry’s Dad gets murdered in the first episode, Terry makes a comment about wishing to live with his mom instead of his dad, which leaves the impression that the two are divorced. However, later on, as the origins of Terry are revealed in further detail, it’s pretty heavily implied that Terry’s parents were together before Terry’s dad’s death so... I don’t know. However, Terry still seems to deal with normal teenage problems: fights with his mom, annoyances from his little brother, stresses of schoolwork, a girlfriend that wishes he was more around, problems with kids at school and his friends. When you layer that on with the grace in which they write Terry’s character, it produces a very believable character that you can build a connection with and feels hella realistic. I completely approve.

Honestly, although all of it is so... dated, the aesthetic is pretty pleasing. It’s weird enough that makes you think, Ew, what the fuck? but also the fact that it’s set in an unnamed (yes, unnamed--- I’ll get to this later) future, makes you go, Oh. Okay. Weird, but interesting. If you want a famous example to compare it to, think Samurai Jack. Otherwise, see Cyber-six for a similar cyberpunk, futuristic tech vibe. Speaking of future timelines, the show’s idea of teenage lingo in the future is just so... laughable. You constantly hear teens say that things are so, “Schway” or let slip a fake curse word, “Frag.” It’s terrible. I legitimately thought it was something that kids used to say back then but after doing some research, I realized how ridiculous it actually was. Just as a tip: if you’re going to change the way people speak in your writing, you’re going to have to change a pretty much all of common speech in order to make something like this natural. Otherwise, it just looks more and more stupid as it ages.

Each episode is a villain of the week with a couple of two-parters here and there. Although there isn’t much in terms of an overarching story, there are references to previous episodes and encounters, so watching these in some sort of relative order is pretty recommended. There were also a number of interesting cross-over/reference episodes, which I found myself pretty surprised by. But I guess it also made sense, seeing as it was a very popular series that ended way before its time. In the beginning, the writing’s a little clunky, and the animation is a bit fuzzy, however, it’s a series that ages better overtime; the pilot is pretty fucking good one-two punch. But as I was watching it, I couldn’t help but laugh at the melodramatic close-ups and the pauses between some dramatic lines of dialogue. I never felt that the drama itself was melodramatic. Just the way they presented it.

In a lot of ways, this series is very dark and mature (especially the movie like holy shit it’s fucked up) which is really ironic considering it was intended for kids. However, they never really showed any gruesome deaths, showed pretty much negligible amounts of blood, and honestly, the majority of the “dark” stuff would pretty much go over kids heads. I say this as someone who has watched this show once or twice as a teeny child. I always knew bad stuff was happening, but I don’t think it ever really hit me as to the gravity of the situation. Yet, I also remember labeling this as a “big kids’ show” growing up so... who really knows. But for the best amount of enjoyment, I’d recommend this more to teens or young adults than for kids. It seems more up their alley.

Now... let me touch a little bit about the movie and subsequent crossover episodes that were released after the series ended.

The direct-to-video movie that “wrapped up” the series so to speak wasn’t what I thought it was. It was a fantastic, dark, macabre, sinister ending to a great series. I think I’ll save my thoughts on that for a different post. But to give you a little taste: it involves brainwashing, a child murdering a fucking adult, a whole lot of guilt and regret, and even a bit of a hostage situation so... Yeah. It’s great. I highly recommend. Don’t be afraid of what I said before.

However. There is an episode in the Justice League Unlimited which is supposed to reveal the secret origins of Terry McGinnis. What supposedly happened is that Amanda Waller (or the lady that ran the Suicide Squad) saw that Bruce Wayne was getting older and would eventually have to retire as Batman. Knowing that Gotham wouldn’t survive without some sort of Batman out there, Waller concocted a plan in which she would make sure that Batman would live on forever. What she did was without Bruce’s knowledge, she took a bit of his DNA and made it into a serum that would overwrite the host’s reproductive code to that of Bruce Wayne’s. She found a neo-Gotham couple that had a psychologically identical match to that of Bruce’s parents, Terry’s mom and dad, and injected it into Terry’s dad in the guise of a flu shot. This means that Bruce Wayne is Terry McGinnis’s father. Waller, then, concocted a scheme to get Terry’s parents murder but after the assassin called Waller out on her shady tactic, the project was dropped. It was just sheer coincidence that Bruce and Terry met and that Terry’s father got murdered in an unrelated incident. Here’s the thing: the great and fantastic aspect of Terry’s McGinnis’s character is that we finally saw a Batman, a successful Batman at that, that was neither Bruce’s child nor a Robin or a Batwoman/girl that he basically housed and raised. He was a completely unrelated kid who took up the mantle of being the next Batman. The Batman was no longer a person, but a symbol, and that’s one of the things that made Terry’s Batman so fantastic! But this episode completely ruins Terry. It’s awful. Especially when you consider the fact that they didn’t even have the guts to make their own movie about it with the original crew, they simply slapped it on as in after thought in series that fans may or may not follow to. It’s terrible! A complete afterthought!

It also comes with some interesting implications. As I said before, when the series begins, we get the implication that Terry’s parents are divorced and he resents the fact that he’s living with his dad against his wishes. If Terry’s parents are a psychologically identical match to Bruce Wayne’s parents (which, what the fuck does that even mean???) does that mean that Bruce Wayne’s parents were eventually bound for divorce? Something to think about.

For those Batman fans out there, I’m not entirely sure where this series fits into the whole Batman continuity. First off, there’s no reference at all to Jason Todd--- especially not in the movie, which seems kind of odd considering that Tim Drake plays a big role in the movie itself. Part of me says that it has to do with the fact that Jason Todd fucking died yo and you can’t really put that in a children’s TV show/movie. But at the same time, with the shit they wrote in the movie and the other dark and fucked up things they put in the movie, it seems odd they wouldn’t at least mention it... An interesting thing to note as well is the fact that this was before the movie Under The Red Hood was made, so the Jason Todd resurrection canonically hasn’t happened yet. So the fact that there’s no reference to The Red Hood makes sense. This is also before the rather... problematic origin of Damian Wayne has been created, so again, no references to Damian Wayne despite the fact that Talia al Ghul makes an appearance in the series. However, the TV show was resurrected into a comic book series that continues to this day. Having not read them myself, I have no idea what the current status as far as Terry’s origins/relevance within the continuity. But I am eager to find out.

Overall, this series was a wild ride! I loved every minute of it, and sitting down and watching not only the episode and movie that I hadn’t before but a couple of my favorites made me fall in love with the series all over again. I’m so upset that it ended.

Rating this series out of 10, this easily earns an 8.5 on my scale.

It’s aged pretty poorly. I can’t deny that. And for that reason, although I want to give it a 9, it really is deserving only deserving of an 8.5. Despite that though, this series is easily one of my favorites. I love sitting down and rewatching it and the intro always gets me hyped despite the fact that I’ve seen it a thousand times already. If you haven’t seen this series already, go fucking watch it. Seriously. It’s sssooooooo gooooooddddd. I’ll always have fond memories of this show. And the moment that they discuss bringing it back, given that they have a good writer/producer/animator and all that, I will be the first person on board for that reboot. It was such a good show for how short-lived it was. It’s simply tragic...

If there are any corrections you’d like to make in regards to this post, please feel free to send me a message with your corrections and I’ll get back to it as soon as I can!

Do you remember a cartoon your friends have never heard of? Got a scene from an animated film that you’re dying to know the name to? Send your questions to The Cartoon Archivist and I’ll see what I’ve got in the vault!

#batman beyond #Cartoon network #kids' wb #toonami #terry mcginnis #early 2000s #weekly spotlight #The history on this show is fucking WILD #It's so looonnnggg.... and COMPLICATED #I just hope I did it justice

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nikokova · 6 years

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Changes: Chapter 1

So I think I’m going to try to keep an update schedule where I post Tuesday or Wednesday, but I’m a mess so who really knows.

Prologue

Summary: Logan Summers: One friend, a 4.0, and a huge secret. He wouldn’t have it any other way. Virgil Mathews: barely surviving high school, let alone possibly being moved away from his one and only friend just so he gets to experience what its like to “Have a family”. Patton Pennington: can’t remember having a friend in real life, hopes that his parents taking in a foster kid can change things for him. Roman Royal: Arguably the most popular boy in school, but when he hears that the high schools are merging next year, will he be able to mend his checkered past?

Pairings: slow-burn pining analogical, slow-burn royality

Warnings: Anxiety, mentions to past bullying, food mention, foster system mention, bad writing

Word count: 2126

Tags for Changed: @zaisling @heir-of-the-founders (Send an ask or comment if you’d like to be added)

***

16-year-old Logan Summers really only enjoyed 3 things in life. Books, a schedule, and his best friend Virgil Matthews. Lucky for him, all three were a part of his daily life. He would wake up, go to his college classes, then his high school classes, and walk with Virgil to the library once school was over. He did this every day, other than the weekends which he spent all day cleaning, studying, or at the library.

“Earth to Logan.” A deep voice snapped Logan from his thoughts. His head jerked up and away from the book he wasn’t actually reading. There was a pale this face looking at him, observing him. It's dark russet eyebrows furrowed, contrasting against the pale skin. “What’re you thinking about?”

“I have a test next week, I'm trying to find out what amount of studying would give me the best grade. Then I also need to find out how to adjust my schedule to accommodate.” Logan responded with a shrug, his voice higher but not as soft as the others.

“Oh, lit.” His friend leaned back in his chair and looked around at the school libraries bookcases surrounding them. In doing so he almost missed the way Logan's brows furrowed in confusion, “Don't tell me you don't know what that means.”

“I-I do not-”

“It's been around for months. It means like cool or whatever, but like its just ironic to say it now since it's so old.”

“Virgil, you are aware that keeping up with slang is incredibly difficult for me.” Logan mumbled, a blush slightly on his cheeks. Virgil raised an eyebrow,

“But memorizing 40 words for an English class in one night is easy?” Virgil asked,

“Yes, it is.” He sighed. Before he could add anything else the sound of a bell cut their conversation short. Logan sat up straight and started to move the things from the table to his bookbag.

“I don’t want to go to 4th hour… Mr. Jones is gonna yell at us all hour.” Virgil groaned sinking down in his chair. Logan rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to remark on Virgil’s statement but is interrupted by an announcement.

“Will all teachers please excuse their students to the auditorium at this time.” The voice from the speaker said

“It appears you will not have to deal with Mr. Jones’ annoying voice today.” Logan slings his bag over his shoulder and glances at his now even paler seeming friend.

“Yeah, I just have to deal with the crowded auditorium, full of other people all cramped together, what if we have to sit in the front? Or they want volunteers and they choose me and everyone looks at me and-” Logan places a hand on his friends head to stop them.

“You don’t even know what we’re going to. I’ll make sure we sit in the back, and I’ll volunteer for you if needed.” He reassures, Virgil nods his head and takes a couple deep breaths. “We should head down before it starts to get too crowded. Are you okay now?”

“Umm, sorta.”

“Would holding my hand make you feel more comfortable?” Logan suggested, Virgil's face reddened but he nodded. Logan slowly took Virgil's left hand into his right and helped his taller friend up.

Logan had been the tallest of the two for a majority of their friendship. Though in the summer before 9th grade Virgil had a major growth spurt that rocketed him to 6’½”, leaving his best friend below at 5’5. Logan didn't appreciate this development. Though, neither did Virgil. Most of their childhood Virgil had spent hiding behind Logan when the anxiety became too much to handle. Because of his height, he wasn't able to do that anymore.

So, after some experimentation, Logan came to the conclusion that Virgil's anxiety seemed to reduce when they shared physical contact. He assumes it's because they have been friends for so long, and physical contact is a stress reliever for some.

Once they were ready, they made their way to the front of the library, keeping their entwined hands hidden between them. After Logan shared a wave with the librarian, they left.

The hall smelled of body odor and various smelling perfumes as they blended into the mass. The students were all heading to the right side of the hallway, which leads to the stairs near the auditorium. Logan lead their way through the crowd, nevermind the fact that he couldn't really see over the other students like Virgil could. All that really mattered was Virgil's tight grip on Logan's hand, like he was afraid of getting lost if he didn't hold on.

The tiled floor was an off-white color, Logan wondered if this was because of their age or if they were produced like that. He knew the white and bright lights of the building is part of what made Virgil so uncomfortable, and they often attributed to his migraines. Also the fact that the stairs were so steep everyone always felt like they were going to trip and fall. The group seemed to thin into small lines as they reached the different doors to the auditorium.

“Would you prefer to sit in the back?” Logan asked quietly, Virgil only squeezes his hand in response. Logan nods and chooses the shortest line to stand in.

Once everyone was sitting down, the principal climbed up the stairs up to the stage. Logan noticed that the green of his tie was lighter than the green on the rest of his suit. Principal Hepburn ran his hands through his short hair before walking up to the microphone. It took a couple minutes for the room to quiet, when it did he cleared his throat.

“I'm afraid I have some bad news,” he began, a murmur of concern swept across the crowd. “due to some, well I really shouldn't be saying this. But, due to some not superb financial planning, the school district doesn't have the funds to keep this building open next year.” The concerned murmurs quickly turned into concerned conversations.

Logan felt the grip on his hand tightened and he looked over at the taller boy. Virgil was now bouncing his leg and biting his nails on his other hand.

“Virgil, everything's going to be ok I'm sure they already have a plan.” Logan reassured, gently rubbing his thumb across Virgil's knuckles. The principal stood on the stage and waited for the room to quiet, he continued when it did.

“This summer they will be renovating our sister high school, Sanders Sides, and you should all be moved there next fall. Transportation will be provided for the whole district.” Hepburn finished.

“See, we’ll still go to school together, and that school is only a little further from the library than this one.” Logan whispered, giving Virgil's hand a comforting squeeze before they got up to exit the auditorium.

***

Patton's hands dug into the pockets of his jeans as he walked out of the school. He had been in a good mood all day, until the assembly ruined it. He had done his best to convince his parents to send him to Sanders Sides High so he wouldn't be in the same school as him. He walked down the sidewalk outside of the brick building to the parking lot furthest from the school, where he had asked his dad to pick him up.

The silver car was easy to spot in the near-empty parking lot. Especially because of the stuffed animals kept on the front and back dashes. He could hear the early 2000’s music from a couple feet away as he slipped his backpack off of his shoulders, leaving it hanging on one arm as he opened the door.

“Hey, kiddo!” His dad smiled, chocolate eyes identical to Patton's own seemed to sparkle. His dad was always in a chipper mood, his mom said that Patton had gotten that from him. Along with his curly hair.

“Hey dad, is mom home?” he asked flopping into the seat and setting his backpack on his lap.

“Yep.”

“What about Pa?”

“He won't be home till later. Had to stay back and tutor a student.” His dad explained, Patton nodded and looked out of the window as they pulled out of the parking lot.

“So, umm… Can we have a movie night tonight?” Patton asked quietly, his eyes locked on his fidgeting hands.

“Alright, what happened today kiddo?” His dad gave him a sympathetic glance. Patton hesitated before answering,

“You know the boy, the one I finally told you guys about last year?” His dad nodded but Patton noticed the color drain from his already pale face. “Well, I guess next year all the students from that school are moving to this one. So..”

“Do you want us to switch your schools?” his dad interrupted, looking at him with concerned eyes as they waited at a stop light.

“What!? No! I-I like my school, I'll be ok!” Patton reassured, trying to give his dad a bright smile.

“Pat, you know it's not a problem for us. We just want you to be safe and happy.” His dad sighed, the traffic moving forward once more.

“Really, it’s okay. I like my school, I’ve made friends,” that was a lie, “and he probably won’t even recognize me.”

“Alright, but we are going to discuss it with Pa and Mom later okay?” Patton just nodded and went back to looking out of the window. In truth, he hadn’t really made any friends. Sure, he had lots of acquaintances, but none of them were close enough to be called a friend.

Still, Patton found lots of reasons to be happy. He had an amazing and loving family, cats and dogs existed, he did pretty well at school, and he had some online friends. One was named Talyn, they were cool and liked dying their hair. The other was Valerie, she liked singing. lastly, there was Terrance. Talyn had added him to the group chat only a week ago, so Patton didn’t know much about him yet.

>>>

Dinner was quiet as Patton pushed his food around with no intention of eating it. He had hoped that his mood would have gotten better as time passed, but it hadn’t. His eyes wandered up to his parents, how they each sat on a different side of the table, smiles on each of their faces. They all loved each other. Sure, it was strange at first, when he was first introduced to his Pa, Ryan. He was only in 3rd grade then, but he and Ryan grew close very fast. His mom and Ryan had met when his mom decided to go back to college, he was in almost all her classes. Now his dad and his mom had been together since they were in middle school and got married a couple years before they brought Patton into the world.

“Patton, honey are you ok?” His mom's voice broke him out of his trance.

“Huh? Yeah, I’m fine.” He lied pulling a smile on his face. He noticed how his moms face faltered and her slight glance towards his male parents.

“Well, we have something we need to discuss with you. But, if today isn’t a good day we can always just talk about it tomorrow.” She suggested, she ran a hand through her red hair that was a little blonder than Patton’s.

“No, today’s a good day. I guess I’m just a little tired is all.” He shrugged,

“Alright, well you know how we’ve been trying to get matched with a kid to foster for a while, right?” Pa asked. Patton turned his head to the tallest in the room.

“Yeah, did we get matched?!” He asked excitedly, the clouds in his head seemed to lift.

“Yes, all we know for now is that its a boy around your age.” His dad said, but Patton couldn’t stop smiling. What would having a brother be like? They could become best friends, and maybe he could get him to try his food…

“We don’t want to say a definite yes to anything if you aren’t completely comfortable with the idea.” His mom pushed her plate away to fold her hands together in its place.

“We don’t want you to say yes because you feel like you should. Your happiness is our priority, alright bud?” Pa smiled, Patton just nodded and sat back. In all honesty, Patton often felt lonely even with all of his parents. Maybe it was because he had no friends, and maybe this foster sibling could be a new start for him. This time Patton would face his fears and try to make a friend.

“I… I would like to have a sibling.”

***

A/N: Ooooh, weak ending. I’m sorry. I promise that Roman is going to be in the next chapter. Maybe we’ll get an explaination on why he acted the way he did as a child, maybe not.

#analogical #royality #sanders sides fic #sanders sides fanfiction #virgil sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #tw: bullying #tw: food #nesa writes

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physicsandfitness · 6 years

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I was a little MIA this weekend so here is a short recap!

-Friday I did an amazing 6.5 mile trail run in Griffith park, helped a friend of mine move, ate some very good poke, and was a slug for the rest of the day

-Saturday, I took a rest day because my legs were killing me and I spent most of the day doing homework. My boyfriend and I got invited to a party thrown by some second years in the physics program and we went to that and had so much fun getting to know everyone in the department a little better. However, we both had a little too much to drink and stayed out a little later than intended.

-Sunday, I had a long run planned, but it didn’t happen due to how late I slept in and the hangover that then ensued. The most activity I had all day was walking roughly a mile round trip to mcdonald’s because my go-to hangover cure is a large coke and fries. I was going to do some homework because I really, desperately needed to, but instead I napped, did some laundry and some other cleaning, and then spent most of the evening knitting while watching netflix.

-Monday, a quick grocery run in the morning followed by an entire day of intensely working on homework. That’s basically it. I was planning on running and then lost track of time and by the time I realized it, the sun was setting so it just wasn’t in the cards.

Now today!! Started early with going to campus right as the payroll office was opening because it is now September 4th and I have still not been paid for the month of August!! So I had to go in and start a riot and now it will hopefully be resolved later this week. This has been a huge financial stress because my boyfriend has had the same problem with payroll so we haven’t been able to pay our september rent yet and that has just been so stressful! But I decided to not let it bother me and overall, had a really productive day. I stuck to the plan I had made last night and came home with plenty of time to get a wonderful 45 minute audio guided run in. I was hoping to finish 5 miles in that time, but I was just short. I really can’t complain though, because 9:27 pace is way faster than most of my long runs and I felt amazing while I was doing it! AND I hit 125 miles today!! And, to top things off, a friend in the department just moved into a new place and one of the old tenants left behind some furniture so he gave us the couch for free!! and brought it over to us this evening! which is great because now I don’t have to sit on the floor in my living room! AND I had a bunch of really good pasta for dinner AND I got a lot of work done this evening! I am really pleased with how today went and with how well I kept up my attitude after the frustration with payroll. 3.25 easy miles to look forward to tomorrow!

sorry about the long post!!!

#personal #fitblr #fitness #running #runblr #training #half marathon #health #healthblr #nrc #nike run club #fitbit #long post

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lizzybeth1986 · 6 years

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Nuestra Familia (RCD MC: Astrid)

Book: Red Carpet Diaries

Rating: G

Pairing: Astrid-centric, minor Seth x Astrid

Summary: Astrid realises she doesn't know her family as well she had thought. Minor crossover with The Freshman/The Sophomore/The Junior.

Author's Note: This is a bit late for MC Appreciation Week, but I figured I'd put it out there anyway. This is my origin story for Astrid Ortega, my second RCD MC, who is involved with Seth. There's a cameo of one character from TF/TS/TJ in the end and I have a feeling you folks have already figured out who it is 😅 I used (of course) the "crossover" prompt from this list for my fic. I'm tagging @choices-mc-rules, in case they would still like to reblog this.

Translations:

Nuestra familia - "our family" in Spanish.

Chanclas - slippers/flip-flops

Tres leches cake - Typically a very moist chiffon cake soaked in a mixture of evaporated milk, condensed milk and heavy cream. Tres leches literally means "three milks".

Abuela - one of the terms used for ‘grandmother’ in Spanish.

Ita - Short for Abuelita, also used for grandmothers. Astrid calls her grandmother the former, her mom Teresa calls her grandmother the latter.

Manda Huevos - Can mean a lot of things according to context, but generally used to express a range of emotions, such as annoyance, disappointment, contempt or disbelief. In this context, Teresa means “it's not fair”.

If I've gotten anything wrong in terms of references, please do tell me, and I'll definitely fix it in the fic.

“One more foot inside my kitchen and it'll be my chanclas for you later.”

Teresa Ortega said these words to her daughter Astrid, in the same tone one would use to offer a guest some tea.

It wasn't that her mom didn't allow her kids to help with the cooking. She did. Salome was too young to do much but set the table yet but Astrid (and her big sister Letitia, whenever she was home) often pitched in to help with the meal.

But heaven help anyone who tried to help Mom with her tres leches cake.

This recipe was from Mom's Ita’s faded little diary, passed down to her by her mother on the condition that she would learn its recipes off by heart. It was her pride and joy, Mom would often say. Her baby before her actual babies came along.

And today it was even more essential Mom get this cake right. Astrid's abuela was visiting, and ever since Astrid's mother insisted on naming her Astrid (“She’s already named my first and last - at least leave the middle one to me!”) she could do nothing right.

Perhaps it would've been easier to handle if Dad wasn't Abuela's only son, if Mom had someone she could jointly ignore Abuela with, if they had cousins they could play with while the adults sorted out their issues. Or perhaps not. Still, it would have been nice to know.

“Easy, mom, I'm not going to touch your precious cake,” Astrid said, grinning, “Lemme demolish it at lunch instead.”

She'd be lying if she said she wasn't tempted, though. She could get the scent of baked cake wafting in all the way from her bedroom, and her mother was already starting to combine Carnation milk, condensed milk and 1/4th of a cup of heavy cream into a thin, but somewhat creamy, mixture.

Mom raised her eyebrows. “Why are you here, then?”

Astrid felt the muscles around her neck tense up, but schooled her face to a look of injured innocence. “What, can't I just want to talk to my mom once in a while?”

She craned her neck a little further behind Astrid, a tiny frown beginning to form between her brows. “What's that you're holding behind your back?”

Ding! The cake was ready now, just in time for soaking. Astrid let out a sigh of relief. She wanted Mom to see this wedding card, yes - it was why she came to the kitchen in the first place - but now was probably not the time for questions. Questions about family or about secrets. Not when she knew how important it was for her mother to get her weekend cakes right.

“Family” was always a big deal around the Ortega table. Dad was his mother's only child, and Mom’s parents passed on long before any of them were ever born. Her father was as annoyed by Abuela's antics as her mother was, but it never stopped him from having her visit every Sunday because “she's the only family we have left”.

It was as if he needed her to keep himself rooted, as if without her he would be floating aimlessly, no aim or identity, taking his wife and children down that path with him. Abuela knew this. By God, did she know this.

Or so I thought, Astrid said to herself, gripping the wedding card tightly and creating new creases where the word Ortega was written.

Mom was gritting her teeth now, carefully pouring the three-milk mixture over the cake and muttering to herself. “One more word about dry cake this time and I'll give her soggy toast, I swear I will.”

Astrid would have stood up last week and said something to Abuela, if only Mom would let her. It was probably a good thing Leticia wasn't around, she'd fire shots at Abuela for less. She was protective over all of them and often in the heat of the moment she'd forget she’d be landing them all in further trouble.

She was still muttering. “Wants chiffon cake. Screams bloody murder if I use box mix. What, Teresa, looking for shortcuts again?” Mom's voice was raised in an accurately nasal imitation of Abuela's voice. It was almost like she'd forgotten Astrid was there. “Then I make it from scratch like she wants. Then it's Oh Teresa this is so dry oh Teresa it tastes like sawdust. Why else do you think I use box mix, eh? You want it from scratch and you want moist. ¡Manda Huevos!”

The diatribe kept Mom occupied while she finished pouring, so Astrid kept silent. Mom needed this. This wasn't something she can say in front of Letitia (resulting in another Sunday screaming match) or Dad (what would he do?) or Salome (no way would the kid ever take Salome, language! seriously again). Mom needed someone to have her back, no matter how silently or secretly. And that someone had better be her.

“If only Linda had stayed…”

Astrid froze. “What did you say?”

Mom looked up, blinked twice, then stiffened. “Nothing. Nothing.”

Silently, Astrid handed over the card she'd been holding, all this time. She found it while searching for her dad's treasured García Lorca poetry collection, hidden between a page that exalted love and a page that mourned loss.

Mom took it from her, her eyes widening as she read the words.

LINDA ORTEGA

and

DOMINIC SANDOVAL

request the honour of your company at their wedding.

“Dad always told us he was all Abuela has, right,” Astrid said, “The only Ortega for miles around."

Mom answered by busying herself with more activity than ever. Keeping the soaked cake in the fridge. Pouring the remaining milk mixture into two glasses. Washing her hands. Washing the dishes.

“I'll do that for you,” Astrid took a plate from Mom's hands, “Just talk to me.” She grabbed a sponge and dish washing soap, cleaning vigorously. “All this time, Dad's been telling us Abuela's the only family he has, Mom. Like, he has no one else. Like, we have no sisters or brothers besides the three of us. Was he lying?”

“You're wrong,” Mom said, her voice suddenly sounding sharper, harder, “Abuela's the only family he has left. Your father didn't lie.”

“Just omitted the truth, yeah,” Astrid wished she knew how she felt about this. Right now there was so much she was feeling that she didn't exactly know where to begin. “There's no “together with our parents” above their names either. Not like yours’.”

Mom sighed, picked the card up, then held up two glasses of milk-mixture in front of her. “Take one and give the other to your sister. I have a lot of work to do.”

On any other day, Astrid would have grabbed that glass and relished its creaminess, wiping the milk-moustache off her mouth with a flourish. But today no amount of sweetness was going to take away that weird metallic taste in the roof of her mouth.

“I'm not done asking about this,” Astrid said, scowling, “to you or to Dad. If I have aunts and cousins out there, that's something I wanna know.”

Astrid did try in the weeks to come. But she never saw the wedding card again, and neither Mom or Dad ever responded when she raised the topic again. Still. It felt nice to dream.

Every time Abuela made a snide remark at lunch, she imagined her cousins there. A snarky younger girl who’d make smartass comments. A strong boy her age who’d shut Abuela up with just a glare. A nice aunt who’d take Mom's mind off all this nonsense. It didn't help much, but it felt nice.

It felt nice knowing she had company out there. Somewhere.

6 years later.

“Donuts, Iowa?” Seth’s eyes were gleaming at the prospect. He was more a bag-of-chips kinda guy most days, but he also liked having massive sugar rushes before a comedy gig.

“As long as the insides of six of those are practically spilling over with fruit jam, I'm game,” she said, standing on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. It felt exhilarating, freeing. She hadn't felt this normal in a while - normal enough to kiss her boyfriend without worrying about paparazzo jumping out from a bush. There was a guy in a leather jacket she didn't recognize - three blocks across - looking at her like he wanted to talk, but not in a way that made her feel unsafe.

That was the nice thing about Northbridge. People looked, sure, but they were less likely to make you feel like an exhibit from a zoo.

“Wait here, yeah?” Seth said, planting a kiss on the lips instead, “I'll be back before you can finish spelling “OHIO” with your arms.”

Astrid laughed. Seth said the most Ohio things sometimes. Neither of them had had this much fun since she was offered a lead role in Tender Nothings, which was why Seth always jumped at a chance to take up gigs in Northbridge, and why he always offered to take Astrid along when she was free.

The guy from before stepped forward a few minutes after Seth entered the donut shop. The summer heat must have been too much for him - his leather jacket was now slung over his shoulders. “Um, hello. Astrid Ortega?”

He stood with his hands in his pockets, mouth pursed into a thin line, a tiny curl slipping carelessly from his hair and resting on his forehead. She caught a peek at the tail end of a bird tattoo (Owl? The tail looked pointy) on his left arm.

“Yeah,” Astrid said, wondering whether it was her or Seth he wanted to talk to, “but I don't know what your name is.”

“ Zigmund. Zig for short,” he replied, looking behind him from time to time, “My sister Lucy’s a big fan. Asked me to help her get an autograph from you.”

“Is she here?”

“Yeah. But she doesn't want to come out. She's shy.”

Ah. So that was the cherry-red blur barely hidden by that building. She learned long ago that no matter how friendly you appeared, your image would precede you and intimidate people anyway. Autographs were great, but somehow she didn't want to stop at just that.

“Would she come out now if I asked?” she gave him her sunniest smile, “Tell her I won't bite.”

Zig hesitated, then nodded. Astrid watched him walk to the other building, move his hands expressively as he tried to convince his sister to join him (from that angle he almost looks like Letitia, Astrid thought), and return with a curly-haired, starry-eyed teenage girl.

“H-hey,” she said, then blushed, clearly embarrassed by her nervousness. Silently, she hands over her autograph book. She keeps her eyes studiously away from Astrid's face. “I, um, I like mystery films, and I really, really liked Tender Nothings.”

A girl after my own heart. “Maybe you'll like Sunset Boulevard, then,” she said, smiling.

Astrid could have just signed and left it at that, but there was something about these two. Something about the way they stood together, or exchanged glances, or something, that reminded her of home. Which was silly. But it didn’t change the fact that she wanted to leave a good impression on them.

“What would you like to be when you grow up, Lucy?”

Lucy didn't miss a beat. “Ballet dancer. Like my brother.”

Astrid smiled, particularly at the look the girl gave Zig. Yes, she could see on second glance that even though some people would say he didn't have the body of a dancer, he held himself with a certain grace, a certain lightness that belied a stronger core. Hit by a sudden rush of inspiration, she quickly scribbled a little note to go with her signature, and asked Lucy to read it.

To Lucy and Zig, future (hopefully!) best ballet dancing duo in America. Be sure to save me a seat when you folks get famous. Love Always, Astrid.

“Wowwww,” Lucy whispered. Zig suppressed his smile, trying not to let how he felt show, and failed. A corner of his mouth lifted upwards, revealing an almost-invisible dimple.

The two left before Seth brought his box of donuts,but they thanked her at least thrice as they walked away.

“Wait till I tell Mom about this,” Astrid overheard Lucy tell her brother as they left, “I told you she'd be really, really nice.”

“You did,” there was a note of indulgence in Zig's voice.

"Ortegas all around the world. Wherever we're from, we're nice.”

Had Seth come out a moment later, Astrid would have probably walked up to them and asked. Perhaps asked them where they were from and their parents’ names.

But Seth was here, with donuts, and there was never a moment she could take her eyes off either.

“Do you know those two?” Seth asked her, passing her a tres leches cake donut that was claimed to be one of their best, “They looked familiar.”

“”No,” Astrid replied, closing her eyes in bliss. Mmmm. The treat was taking her back to Des Moines, back to home, back to her mother's little kitchen. “But I wouldn't mind meeting them again.”

#fanfic #red carpet diaries #the freshman #the sophomore #the junior #rcd mc #astrid ortega #seth levine #zig ortega #lucy ortega #seth x astrid #playchoices crossover #seth x mc #mc appreciation week

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philsdrill · 7 years

Text

Chapter 34: Feel Safe

Fic Summary: “Everyone had a link with their soulmates, some could hear some of their partners thoughts, some had a tattoo that would appear with their partners name; for me, I knew when they got sick.” For a while Phil has thought that his soulmate might have an eating disorder and doesn’t expect to meet him in the restaurant where he works.

Genre: a lot of fluff, recovery, really fucking domestic, waiter!Phil

Warnings: eating disorders, anorexia, bulimia, hospitals, panic attacks, references to past abuse, mentions of suicide, mentions of self-harm, a lot of awkwardness, small amounts of smut. This is potentially triggering so for your own sake, please think twice about reading if anything this might affect you.

Disclaimer: I don’t have personal experience with eating disorders, but have done some research. If I have anything about them wrong, feel free to send me an ask and I’ll sort it out.

Word Count (for this part): 8.3k

[Uploads will be hopefully every couple of weeks! (follow @philsdrill-updates to hear when I post)]

A/N: Less than two weeks!? This is the fastest I’ve been since July 2016! I wrote the first 700 words of this on the train home last weekend, which was an achievement, as its usually 1h30m spent standing on a very busy train. Now, something you might’ve noticed from the way time is progressing, but the fic is slowly getting to its end - I’m predicting about five more chapters. The first chapter was posted on June 4th 2016, so it's my goal to get it done well before June this year.

MASTERPOST

<= Previous Chapter

Dan's POV:

Summer. The one time of year when England would get at least a little warm weather. Children, teenagers and students would be free from the teeth of school, college and university. The start of July was due to bring the start of the hot weather so I knew I'd need to look out my summer clothes soon.

We were fast approaching the one year anniversary of the day I'd met my soulmate, Phil. That anniversary was the day we'd chosen for our wedding, realising that if we wanted to pick out a date in August, we might as well choose the one that meant something to us as a couple.

My brother, Adam, had sat his A-Levels and finished his second-to-last year at school. Phil and I wanted to go down to see him and Ethan at some point, but we knew that realistically the next time we'd see them was when they were up here for our wedding.

In addition to finalising the details for our wedding, Phil had been trying to upload more cooking videos to his YouTube channel. He felt that he'd been slacking a bit, and had only uploaded a couple of videos since the pizza one, but with renewed energy from the good weather, he was able to get things back on track. I decided to help him out a bit, learning how do the editing and sometimes helping him out with this, as it was his least favourite part of the process.

Scorching heat arrived on the second of July, we didn't have it as bad as down South, but still, I was digging around in my drawers to try and locate my shorts. They'd been put at the back of my bottom drawer, shoved away without a second thought as we moved in in January. Eventually I unearthed them and set my favourite pair on the bed, to put on for the day ahead.

I changed from my pyjamas into a fresh pair of boxers and a loose t-shirt, then came over to the bed to retrieve my shorts. I didn't think twice as I stepped into them and pulled them up, that was until they got stuck. I looked down to see whether they had gotten caught on my underwear, but no, it just seemed like my thighs were too big to get these shorts on anymore. I tried putting more force into pulling them up, but to no avail. It seemed I wasn't getting these shorts on today.

I wasn't too disheartened, however. I had other shorts, so I made my way back to the drawer to select an alternative pair. This pair were made of a softer fabric, with an elasticated waistband, so they'd stretch, right, even if my thighs had filled out a little bit over the last year.

I stepped into them and pulled them up and it was only when the waistband snapped over my lower stomach that I was filled with regret. They were tight, incredibly tight. They accommodated my thighs okay, but the pressure on my stomach was too much, both in physical feeling and in mental, as they were now acting as a constant reminder of how much weight I'd gained over the last year. Curious, I made my way to the bathroom and dug the scales out from the back of the cupboard. Phil had put them well away after we moved, knowing that seeing them on a daily basis would be too tempting for me.

I stepped onto the scale and as I read the number that flashed up on the small screen by my feet, I was filled with an urge. I hadn't felt this urge in so long and as much as I was trying to fight it, I found myself on my knees in front of the toilet, fingers in my mouth, only centimetres from the back of my throat.

I found myself in a strange kind of limbo, my fingers wanting to go that little bit further, but there was something stopping me. Was it the knowledge that by doing this I'd be relapsing back into something I'd put so much effort into giving up? Was it knowing that Phil would be disappointed in me, even if he tried not to show it? I sat there, fighting a battle with my own brain, tears streaming down my face as I broke down in panicky sobs, unable to form any coherent thoughts of how to pull myself out of this.

I couldn't do this myself. I was slowly descending into a full on panic attack and I could barely even move, never mind think about calming down or trying to get to my medication. My fingers still in my mouth, I did the only thing I felt I could manage, I yelled for Phil… and maybe it came out as more of a muffled scream, but all that mattered was it was loud enough for him to hear.

“Dan?” Phil's voice said, full of concern as he entered the bedroom a few moments later.

“Help?” I choked, trusting that Phil would be able to get me out of this.

Phil’s POV:

The first thing I noticed, clearly, was that Dan was sat on the floor in front of the toilet. I assumed that he was feeling sick, but he couldn’t thrown up yet or I’d have known about it

“What’s wrong?” I asked softly, as I approached him from behind.

Dan didn’t reply, the crying and sobbing clearly having overwhelmed him. It was only as I sat on the floor next to him that I noticed he had his fingers in his mouth. It took me a few seconds to realise what that meant, but Dan was struggling with something much more than an upset stomach. I could see from his expression that he had some kind mental battle going on inside his head.

“Okay,” I mumbled, trying to think what I should do, “You okay if I touch you?”

Dan choked out a ‘yes’, not even moving his hand from his mouth. I loosely gripped his wrist, not forcefully, but wanting to be able prevent him moving his hand any further if I needed to. My other hand, I brought around his back, hoping that a loose hug would be comforting. Before I could ask Dan what had triggered this, I knew I needed him to calm him down a little, so I rubbed circles on his shoulder and guided him into one of his breathing exercises.

As he put all of his focus onto his breathing, I was gradually able to move Dan’s hand out of his mouth and away to a safe distance. He still wasn’t doing good, but I was hopeful I’d done enough that he’d be okay on his own for a moment while I went to find his medication. I filled the bathroom glass with water from the sink and handed this to him.

“Small sips, okay,” I said, making sure he hand a decent grip on the glass, “I’ll be right back, I’m just going to grab your coat. That’s where your tablets are, right?”

“Think so,” Dan said, sounding a little unsure of himself.

I hurried out into the hallway and grabbed Dan's coat from its hook by the door. I returned to the bathroom with it immediately, waiting until I was back with Dan before unzipping the pocket. Thankfully, they were where I expected, down to the very pocket he usually kept them in.

Getting the tablets down was never an easy one, but I remained by Dan’s side as his gag reflex fought against them. Once he’d successfully swallowed them, I took him back to doing the breathing exercises, knowing they would take their time to have an effect.

Dan was relaxing more into me and I felt that he didn’t need to be right in front of the toilet any more. “D’you want to move away from the toilet a little?” I asked, encouragingly.

Dan nodded in response, so slowly I shuffled back towards the bath, pulling him with me, both of us sliding easily across the floor tiles. I leant back against the bath and got Dan nice and snug between my legs, leaning back against me.

“Deep breaths,” I reminded him, noting that he’d lost some of his progressing in moving, “Nice and slow.”

I rested my chin lightly on Dan’s shoulder as I listened to his breathing. I settled my hands around his waist, wanting to make this comfortable and natural for him. It clearly wasn’t, however, because Dan shuffled uncomfortable and pushed my hands away.

“Can you tell me what’s wrong?” I asked gently, hoping that he would be able to form an answer this time.

“My shorts are too tight,” Dan complained, clearly trying to avoid my question by stalling the conversation.

“Okay let's get them off then,” I said simply, thinking that if Dan was more comfortable, we’d be able to work things out.

I slipped my hands beneath the waistband of Dan’s shorts, not expecting him to have any problem with it as we undressed each other fairly often. I was taken aback when he flinched away, shooting forwards out of my embrace.

“Dan?” I said hesitantly, confused by his actions.

“I…” Dan choked, “S’my shorts that are the problem… They’re too tight on my stomach and…”

I felt incredibly bad the moment I realised that I’d misunderstood and caused this reaction. Now he was sitting alone in the middle of the bathroom floor, I noticed how much Dan was trembling. I felt really bad for my misunderstanding and now I had to figure out what I could do to help.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realise,” I said, apologising for my mistake, “Can you take them off? Getting rid of the pressure might help?”

Nodding, Dan reached down and pulled his shorts down, accidentally getting his boxers too. It seemed he didn’t care though, tossing them both across the floor, away from him and towards me. Reaching out, I picked up the shorts to look at the label. They were an extra small and I knew that Dan should be at least a small or maybe a medium.

“I think we need to get you some new shorts,” I commented, setting them aside.

“But I've gained weight,” Dan mumbled sadly.

“That's a good thing, remember,” I reminded him.

Dan sat silently, making eye contact with me, but not saying anything. I could see that he would probably be stuck in this mindset for the rest of the day, but I was going to have a go at getting him out of it.

“Dan are you feeling okay enough to get up and we’ll go back to bed for a bit? I asked him, just wanting to cuddle with him and see if that improved things.

“Mmm okay,” Dan mumbled.

I got up, returned Dan’s boxers to him, then helped him to his feet. He stepped back into his boxers, then I gave him a little support back through to our room. Once on the bed, he crawled up to the pillows and slipped under the duvet, pulling it up around him. I took my trousers off and joined him, making sure he was okay with the contact before cuddling up next to him. Dan was still shaking a little, but I was hoping that he felt safe now and that the warmth of our bedding helped him feel better.

Dan gradually relaxed, letting himself melt into my arms and the shaking slowly easing into stillness. I knew he would still be feeling fragile, but I was glad his anxiety had calmed down now. That would let me work on how he was feeling about his body, which I felt was important to tackle before he made it worse.

“What can I do for you?” I asked him, wanting to help him in whatever way I could.

“Just stay here,” Dan mumbled in response, “I just wanna be close to you.”

“Are we close enough?” I asked, “Or would more skin contact help you?”

“Could we take our shirts off?” Dan asked timidly, “It just makes me feel really safe.”

“Of course,” I said, pulling my shirt off over my head, while Dan did his own.

Letting out a content sound, Dan cuddled back into my chest. I brought my arms around him and gently rubbed his back. After a while, one of my hands trailed down to his hip, but I stopped it there, not quite knowing where his boundaries lay at the moment.

“Where are your boundaries today?” I asked him, “I know I should’ve asked that earlier but I didn’t think…”

“Like just don’t touch my stomach, I guess?” Dan said, sounding unsure, “I don’t know; I might be fine with it now but it was just too much earlier with the shorts.”

“Are you feeling any better about your body now?” I asked him, knowing that sometimes after the initial panic passed, his body image issues would too.

“Not really,” Dan mumbled, “I just… I feel like a bit of a whale today… like my stomach’s… fat… and I feel… just big.”

“You just look strong and healthy to me,” I told him, trying to remind him of what was important, “My beautiful little Dan.”

“Phil, I’m not little, I’m taller than you,” Dan groaned.

“Physically, yes, you’re taller than me,” I said, “But when you curl up all small like this, you’re not.”

“Makes me feel safe,” Dan mumbled, again bringing up this point.

“I know, and I want you to feel safe,” I told him. ”I want you to feel okay about yourself, so I’m here for you, okay?”

“Thanks,” Dan said, a hint of a smile in his voice.

“Now,” I said, “Only if you’re up for it, but will you let me show you how beautiful you are?”

“What will that entail?” Dan asked, voice curious but a little concerned.

“I just want to kiss you all over, make you feel loved,” I admitted, pressing a kiss to his neck to give him the idea.

“Mmmm okay,” Dan mumbled, clearly enjoying the touch.

I moved down the way, kissing Dan’s collarbone, his chest, his nipples… I worked on giving him compliments after every few kisses, which he was clearly enjoying. I stopped just North of his stomach, knowing this was where one of his boundaries lay.

“Dan, can I go lower?” I asked gently.

“Yeah sure,” Dan said, almost cheerfully.

I moved down to his stomach, these kisses more tentative, but still with the same meaning behind them. My lips ghosted over the scar from his surgery, kissing that too, because although it wasn’t inherently beautiful, it was a part of him now. I loved every little part of Dan; as a whole he was beautiful and that scar had great meaning behind it.

“You’re so pretty,” I told him, “Beautiful, despite the scar, and despite what your anxiety is telling you. You look so healthy and full of life. I love you.”

“I love you too Phil,” Dan replied, sounding a little tearful, “Thank you so much for doing this for me.”

“It’s no problem,” I said, lifting myself up and going to capture his mouth in a kiss, to distract him from the emotions that were threatening to overwhelm him.

The kiss that started as a distraction soon turned into something a little more heated. I was lying on top of Dan’s naked body and I was starting to feel something. Dan was turned on, and although I didn’t share his predicament quite yet, I could let myself if that was what he wanted.

“Mmm Dan,” I mumbled, pulling away when an appropriate moment arose, “What are you wanting? I feel you… but are you in the mood?”

“Could you m…” Dan started, hesitating, “Could you m-make love to me? Like slow and cuddly and…”

“Of course,” I said sweetly, rubbing my hands gently over Dan’s abdomen, “And don’t worry about whatever we had planned for this morning, that’s officially postponed.”

With a few strokes to Dan’s length and a few to my own, I was soon reaching for the lube. We hadn’t exactly been active in the last few days, so Dan took a bit more prep than usual. Sometimes, when it was lust controlling our actions, the stretching process could be a bit tedious, but on days like today, it was a mutual bonding of sorts. I had Dan on his back, so I could keep an eye on his expression and we were both talking through the process, me making sure Dan was comfortable and that everything was going smoothly.

The love-making itself was like Dan asked for, slow and cuddly. The pace allowed my movements to be more judged and precise and allowed Dan to feel every last bit of sensation without being overwhelmed by the next. I was on top of him, but spreading my weight carefully to make him feel cuddled but not squashed. Dan’s climax came first, so I worked him through it, then pulled out and finished myself off with my hand, not wanting to overstimulate him. I made fast work of myself and cleaned us both off with tissues, before moving to cuddle Dan properly.

Post sex cuddles were always special, but there was something about today’s which had an extra heartwarming quality to them. Dan had been through a lot this morning and I just wanted to hold him close. He was clearly feeling good now, but I could tell he was exhausted. Nothing drains your energy quite like an panic attack, and sex on top of that was the recipe for a tired Dan.

“If you want to go back to sleep, that’s okay,” I told him, “I’ll set an alarm for say, half-twelve ‘cause I’m going to stay here with you.”

“Thanks,” Dan said, yawning.

With all the skin contact Dan could possibly need, we lay there and let ourselves fall asleep. I maybe didn’t need it in the same way Dan did, but I was enjoying his presence too much to do anything else. We’d get up again in time for lunch, and so what if we went back to bed again after breakfast?

I was never fully asleep, spending the time drifting in and out of consciousness. Dan was fast asleep in my arms and I didn’t want to disturb him until the alarm went off. I noticed the time about ten minutes before the alarm was due and thought I would keep an eye on the time, cancel it and wake Dan more nicely. In the end, however, I dozed off again and I didn’t get to cancel the alarm before it was blaring loudly next to us.

I silenced it as quickly as I could, but the damage was done. Dan had been rather rudely awoken from his sleep and I’d been hoping to make things nicer on him by doing it myself.

“Hey,” I said, my voice a little rough with not having been used in a couple of hours, “Time to get up?”

“I guess,” Dan said, his voice similarly scratchy, “Mmm, I could do with a drink.”

Moving my leg out from underneath Dan’s and attempting to shake some feeling back into it, I sat up slowly. Dan remained lying down, hair in his eyes, looking comfortable.

“Maybe you should get up and get a drink then?” I suggested.

“Can you get me it? I’m a bit sore,” Dan asked, complaining slightly.

“Okay, I’ll be right back,” I told him, “And then we can figure out where you’re hurting?”

I went to the bathroom and filled the bathroom glass up with water. It would quench Dan’s thirst and he could get something more interesting when we went through to the kitchen for lunch. By the time I got back to him, he had sat up on the bed and was ready to take the water from me.

“You’re sitting up?” I said, surprised, “What is it that’s sore?”

“It was a struggle,” Dan admitted, “It’s my thigh and butt muscles. I’m not sure why; I guess we just had a slightly different angle from sometimes?”

I sat down next to Dan and pulled him onto my lap as he started to drink his water. I slipped my hands under his thighs and gently rubbed against the muscles there, but I knew I couldn’t do much with him sitting like this.

“I think getting you in the bath wouldn’t hurt,” I told him, “We’re both a bit sticky and it’ll help that ease off. We can get lunch after.”

Dan took me up on my suggestion, so I made my way back through to the bathroom to get the bath running. I poured in some sweet scented bubble bath and made sure the water was nice and cosy. When the bath was ready, I helped Dan up and through to the bathroom. He could walk, but he seemed to be finding things a bit uncomfortable, so I gave him a hand.

I joined Dan in the bath for a while, helping him to relax and getting us both clean. Eventually I decided that I could go and start getting lunch ready and leave Dan to relax a bit longer. In the kitchen, dressed in only a towel, I made us both sandwiches, some coffee for myself and some Ribena for Dan. I loaded them onto a tray and brought them through to the bedroom, thinking we could have lunch in bed.

I laid the tray down on a cabinet and took in the state of the bed. The duvet was a bit sticky from our earlier activities, but everything else seemed to be acceptable. We’d change the sheets properly later, but for the moment I grabbed a couple of fleecey blankets to make the bed cosy at the moment.

Dan must’ve heard my moving about, as I heard him getting out of the bath and a few moments later, he appeared in the bathroom doorway in his own towel.

“How are things feeling?” I asked him, “Did that bath help?”

“A lot better actually,” Dan nodded happily, “Like I’m still a little achy and still a little on edge from earlier… but yeah, better.”

“D’you want to come sit down and we’ll have some lunch?” I asked him, “I made sandwiches.”

Dan dried himself off a little, then we both settled back on the bed, amongst the blankets. I lifted the tray of food onto our laps and encouraged Dan to get dug in. As we ate, I noticed that Dan was showing a number of his anxious symptoms, nibbling at his food in small bites, not eating the crusts, which I knew he didn’t mind and generally not eating as much as usual. I didn’t feel the need to call him out on his behaviour, because I knew he would still be feeling sensitive. Instead, I just accepted when he had given up and took the remaining sandwiches to put away in the fridge for later.

We spent a bit longer cuddling before we actually got up properly. We were both naked, Dan sitting in my lap, but we were able to control ourselves. Dan was still very open from earlier, but despite the intimacy of our nakedness, we weren’t planning any other sexual activities any time soon.

“I feel really safe like this,” Dan told me once more, “I feel good and happy and I’m almost able to put behind me what nearly happened a few hours ago.”

“Good,” I said, my voice soft and caring, “You’re doing so well; I’m proud of you.”

Later in the day, I went through Dan’s shorts and removed all the ones marked as extra small or below a certain waist size. Most people would probably try them on, but I was confident these wouldn’t fit him and I wanted to save him from any further anxiety. There were a couple of pairs I thought might still fit him, which I’d go through with him later.

We should probably go clothes shopping though, to get him some new clothes for the summer and make sure we had what we needed in preparation for our honeymoon when the time came. Now that I thought about it, I wasn’t sure if Dan had been clothes shopping since I’d met him. I wondered if that was an issue with his body image, so I’d approach the topic carefully.

I brought it up with him in the evening, once we’d established that he only had one pair of shorts that fit. We’d go clothes shopping tomorrow and I’d help him pick out some new things. He did admit that clothes shopping really didn’t make him feel good, but he understood that it had more or less become unavoidable.

The next morning, as we ate breakfast, my first priority was to check in on Dan’s anxiety levels and see if he was feeling up to going clothes shopping.

“How are you feeling this morning?” I asked him, “Like anxiety-wise? Any issues?”

“Pretty good,” Dan told me, happily, “Like I’ve recovered from yesterday and I feel fine at the moment. I don’t know how I’ll be trying on clothes, but I’m willing to give it a go.”

“Okay, great,” I said, enthusiastically, “Well I’m thinking we’ll just get ready and then head out; is that okay with you?”

“Yeah, that’s fine,” Dan nodding, taking a sip of his juice.

When we were finished, we tidied our breakfast stuff away and then got ourselves ready to go. It would be good to get the shopping over and done with early in the day, meaning we’d have longer to ourselves later on. I didn’t really have any idea how long we would be, but I had a strong feeling we would be in town until lunchtime at least.

I drove us there, parking in a car park near to the majority of the shops. We could easily have walked or taken public transport, but I preferred to be able to get Dan home quickly if I needed to. I hadn’t asked him or anything, but I had the feeling that having the car probably made things easier on him.

The first shop we visited, I ended up helping pick things out for Dan to try on. He had arrived in front of a rack of shorts, looking a bit overwhelmed and not knowing where to start. I studied the various styles, knowing that Dan, contrary to his own beliefs, was really quite skinny. Shorts with wider legs might drown him, but equally I didn’t want him having anything too skintight as yesterday suggested that could be an issue. In the end we settled on three styles for him to try on, each in two sizes so we could see what was the better fit.

Dan also had a couple of t-shirts to try on; those seemed to be less on an issue for him to pick out. Soon enough, we’d browsed through enough of the shop and were heading for the fitting room. I followed behind Dan, nobody giving me a second glance. I’d initially thought I was just there for moral support and to give him opinions, but he pulled me into the cubicle with him.

“You don’t want me to wait outside?” I questioned, a little surprised.

“I’d rather have you in here, if that’s okay?” Dan admitted a little timidly.

“Of course; I just wasn’t expecting that,” I explained, hanging my coat up on one of the many hooks as it was warm and we could be in here a while.

I let Dan get on with trying on the clothes, sitting myself down on the bench to keep out the way. He looked good in all the shorts and I made sure to tell him this, but in the end, we only left with two out of the three styles… and the t-shirts. However, that was still good progress.

In the second shop, Dan seemed to have found an ounce of confidence from somewhere and was now picking out shorts himself. I had slight reservations about one pair and how they would make Dan feel, but it was his call, so I’d let him try them on. Again he had a couple of t-shirts, but he hadn’t been shopping in a long time, so he was needing a wardrobe update.

We headed for the fitting room, but this time the employee at the entrance wasn’t for letting me through with Dan.

“Sir, you don’t have anything to try on?” the man said, putting his arm out in front of me to discourage me from going any further.

“Can I not go with him to see the stuff he’s trying on?” I asked, confused.

“No, policy says you have to be trying on something to be in the fitting rooms,” the man said firmly.

“Alright then,” I said, a slight challenging tone in my voice as I had an idea.

I picked out a random shirt to try on, not one I particularly liked, but the man didn’t need to know that. This time, as I headed for the fitting rooms, he had no choice but to let me through.

I headed around the corner, knowing that Dan would be somewhere along here, but not knowing which changing room he’d be in.

“Dan?” I called out, not too loudly, but hopefully loud enough that he’d hear.

“I’m in here,” his voice responding, a foot sticking out from under a cubicle door further down.

I walked the remaining few paces to Dan’s cubicle and stuck my foot under the door, “Hi, I’m here; you gonna let me in?”

“Sure, two seconds,” Dan said, making some rustling noises, and after a couple of moments, unlocking the door.

Dan was standing there in the particular pair of shorts I was less sure on, and a t-shirt. Now, don’t get me wrong, the shorts looked good on him - in fact, they looked amazing - but they were quite tight fitting and I didn’t know how Dan would deal with that.

“Mmm, you look good,” I told him, shamelessly checking out his arse.

“I don’t know Phil, I think these make me look fat,” Dan said, pulling at the hem of the shorts, proving my suspicions correct.

“They don’t Dan; they’re just a bit more tight fitting and than the others you’ve had on,” I told him, trying to give him the assurance he needed. “They’re different, but I like them on you. Turn around?”

“They make your butt look really good,” I told him, appreciating the better angle I had on it now.

“You think?” Dan asked, curiously.

“Yup,” I said, pulling him into a hug with one arm and patting his butt with the other, “Real good.”

“Thanks,” Dan said, uncertainty in his voice, “I’ll try the rest on and think about them. I believe you when you say they look good and I want to be a little more adventurous, so maybe I’ll give them a go.”

In the end, Dan did buy the shorts and I was proud of him for taking that step. He might not be completely comfortable with them, but that was something we could work on. Maybe it would be a case of getting him wearing them around the house first to get used to them.

Upon leaving the shop, I noticed that Dan seemed a little jittery and unsettled, so now seemed like the perfect time to take a break from shopping and get something to drink. I took him to a nearby coffee shop, thinking he could get a hot chocolate or something while I got a coffee.

“Hot chocolate?” I asked, presuming but not wanting to go as far as ordering for him without his approval.

“Yeah, that’d be nice,” Dan nodded, “No cream or marshmallows or anything though.”

“Okay,” I nodded, “D’you want anything to eat?”

Dan looked at the glorious display of cakes in front of him, paled slightly and shook his head.

“D’you want to find us a seat and I’ll order?” I asked him, thinking that would probably be best for him.

“Okay,” Dan nodded, stepping away from me and heading across the café.

The person in front of me moved along to wait for their order, letting me into to order for me and Dan.

“Hi, can I get a regular hot chocolate and a soya milk cappuccino?” I requested.

“Okay,” the lady nodded, scribbling down on her notepad, “Cream or marshmallows with the hot chocolate?”

“No, neither,” I told her, resulting in another scribble in the notepad.

“And d’you want chocolate on the cappucino?” she queried.

“Yes,” I nodded, knowing that even if there was any milk in the chocolate powder, it wouldn’t be enough to cause me a problem.

“Okay,” the barista nodded, “And anything else?”

“Are any of your cakes dairy free?” I asked, interested in the selection, but not actually knowing if I could eat any of them. There were cakes, tarts, doughnuts, pies, cupcakes, scones and even some things I couldn’t identify.

“The caramel tart, the banana bread and the lemon meringue pie,” she told me, confidently, pointing out these cakes.

“Right,” I nodded, having a hard time deciding between the caramel tart and the lemon meringue pie, “I’ll have… the caramel tart.”

It was my sweet tooth that had decided for me in the end, but also caramel went better coffee, so it was a good decision I had come to. I finalised my order, paid, and moved along to wait for our order. A couple of minutes later, I was heading to find Dan, carrying the tray one handed without any thought and getting a few funny looks.

“Hey,” I said, noticing Dan looked a little spaced out as I set his drink down in front of him, “You okay?”

“I think so; I’ve just been feeling a little anxious since that last shop,” Dan admitted, slowly wrapping his hands around the mug in front of him.

“That’s why I brought us in here,” I admitted, sitting down next to him, “I thought you were looking a little off and that a rest and a drink would maybe do you good.”

“I think you noticed before I did then,” Dan said, laughing slightly, “Also, are you sure you didn’t just come in for the cake? What have you got anyway?”

“It’s a caramel tart,” I told him, picking it up and digging my teeth into it, “Mmm, it’s good.”

“Can I check you remembered to order your coffee with soya milk?” Dan asked me, looking mildly worried for a moment.

“Yup,” I said cheerily, “And there’s no milk in the tart either.”

“Okay, great,” Dan said, relaxing back into the seat.

Dan went quiet after that, sipping his hot chocolate slowly, still looking a bit anxious. I put an arm around him and pulled him into my side slightly, “Try and relax a little.”

I followed Dan’s gaze to a small child eating a doughnut; I wondered if that was bothering him.

“Hey,” I said, trying to get his attention back, “Dan, look at me?”

It took Dan a moment to realise I had spoken, then he turned slowly back towards me, “What?”

“Is that bothering you?” I asked, nodding in the direction of the child with the doughnut.

“A little, yeah,” Dan confirmed, “Like not majorly, but I just feel a bit on edge.”

“Just focus on your hot chocolate, okay?” I said, the arm around his back tightening slightly, in protectiveness, wanting him to feel safe, “Let me know if you need anything?”

I finished my coffee and my cake, then waited for Dan to finish his drink. In the end, he didn’t, leaving a little in the bottom of the mug, but I got that; sometimes the hot chocolate powder concentrated at the bottom and made the final bit too strong to drink. I tidied up our stuff and took the tray over to the trolley you were to leave them in. I returned to Dan, who was fiddling nervously with his coat as he stood, waiting for me to return.

I wasn’t quite ready to call it a day just yet; I’d keep an eye on Dan for a bit longer and see, maybe go to one more shop. I found a couple of things in this third shop, but all Dan showed interest in was new socks. I was eyeing up a hoodie, which I didn’t really need and turned to ask Dan’s opinion on it, only to find he was a few racks away, staring into space.

I walked over to him, saying his name and waving my hand in front of him to get his attention, “Dan?”

“Yeah?” Dan said, jumping slightly.

“C’mon, let’s go pay and then we’re going to head home,” I said to him, taking his hand and his packet of socks and walking us towards the checkouts.

“Why? I thought we were going to a few more shops after this?” Dan asked, sounding confused.

“Dan honestly, you’re not feeling it anymore, are you?” I asked softly.

This was clearly the cue Dan needed to show me how he was feeling, suddenly resting his head on my shoulder and sniffing tiredly. I nuzzled my face against him to reciprocate, hoping to comfort him a little.

“Next please,” a call from a checkout operator startled us out of our little bubble as we were next.

My hand not leaving Dan’s, we walked down to the checkout and I rather unceremoniously dumped our about-to-be-purchases onto the counter. I didn’t engage in any small talk with the employee, making fast work of packing the stuff into a bag and paying with contactless to get us out of there faster.

“C’mon, let’s go home; we’ve done well today,” I told Dan, as I sorted out our varying shopping bags and took his hand again.

We walked back to the car park and instantly found my little yellow Corsa. I shoved all the shopping into the backseat, then did the door for Dan as he got in. I made my way around to the driver’s side and got in myself.

“Before we go, do you need anything?” I asked Dan, “Do you feel like you’re going to have a panic attack or is this something else?”

“I don’t think so,” Dan said miserably, “Can we just go home?”

“Yes, of course,” I said, starting the engine and putting the car into reverse.

Balancing the clutch and the accelerator, I slowly backed out of the space, then slipped the car into first. The road we had to turn into from the carpark was busy and it was quite a while before we managed to get a gap. I drove us home, clearly keeping an eye on the road, but with the occasional glance towards Dan to make sure he was doing okay. He’d been sitting quietly with his eyes shut, but I wasn’t too worried about that.

It was once we were back at our flat, parked in our parking space, that I noticed Dan was breathing slightly heavily. He still had his eyes shut, which I’d expected him to open after we’d stopped.

“You okay, Dan?” I asked, as something clearly wasn’t right.

“Headache,” Dan said glumly, blindly reaching a hand out towards me.

I reached out and took his hand, squeezing it gently, “How long have you had it? How bad?”

“It kinda started when I had the hot chocolate but it wasn’t bad then and it’s just got worse and worse,” Dan explained, holding his other hand against his head.

“Right, I’m going to come around and give you a hand,” I told him, “And don’t worry about the shopping, I’ll come back for it.”

I took the keys from the ignition, got out and made my way around to Dan’s side. I opened the door for him, then bent over a little to look in.

“I’m afraid you’re going to need to open your eyes for a bit,” I told him, “But you’re heading for a dark room and some paracetamol so it’ll be worth it.”

Dan opened his eyes, crinkling his brow uncomfortable and looking out at me. I moved back to give him a little space, but then bringing my arms supportively around him once he was up. Once he was steady on his feet, I shut the door behind him and locked the car. I brought my arm around his waist and the two of us started to walk towards our building. Getting Dan up the stairs wasn’t a problem as he could walk fine, but I stayed right by his side in case things were to change.

Once inside the flat, I took Dan straight to our bedroom, depositing him by the bed and allowing him to flop onto it, while I went to shut the curtains.

“I’ll be right back, I’m going to get you paracetamol and some water,” I told him, feeling bad about leaving him, but knowing it was for the best.

I was back with Dan in under a minute, a mug of water in one hand and a strip of paracetamol in the other.

I sat down on the bed next to him, “Hey, you want to sit up so you can take these?”

Groaning, Dan pushed himself up and bumped me, almost spilling the water in the process. Once he was sorted, I handed the mug to him and popped out the tablets for him. Dan swallowed them like a pro; in the absence of a panic attack making his throat feel tight he was quite good at swallowing pills. Dan handed me the mug back and flopped backwards onto the bed. I laid the mug down on a bedside table, figuring out what else I could do for him.

“Maybe take your jeans off and get yourself under the duvet?” I suggested, wanting him to be comfortable.

“Can you?” Dan asked, mumbling a bit.

With that permission, I helped Dan to get his jeans off and tossed them across the room. I then pulled down the duvet underneath him, before replacing it on top of him. I moved the pillow down the bed to where his head had landed and helped him slide it underneath.

“You get some rest,” I told him, “We’ve had a successful morning but it was maybe just a bit much.”

I sat by Dan’s side and held one of his hands between mine, wanting to comfort him with some contact, but still allowing me to get away once he was asleep.

“How long can I sleep?” Dan asked, “Will you wake me?”

“I’m gonna let you sleep for as long as you need, but I’ll make sure you’re up for dinner,” I told him, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

“Thanks,” Dan said, almost sounding a little tearful.

I sat still and quiet by Dan’s side, holding his hand until he fell asleep. I’d say it took about twenty minutes for him to get to sleep, in which time he gradually looked less uncomfortable - that would be the painkillers working. When I was satisfied he was fast asleep, I slowly let go of his hand and got off the bed, making my movements as slow and precise as possible so as not to disturb him.

I left the room and shut the door over behind me, enough to block out the light from the hallway, but leaving it open a crack so I’d hear Dan when he awoke. I decided that while it was fresh on my mind, I should go down and get our shopping from the car. Grabbing my keys, I shut the flat door quietly behind me and made my way quickly down the stairs. I grabbed the shopping bags, which were no effort on their own, but I’d wanted both hands free earlier to help Dan. In a similar manner, I hurried back up the stairs, not feeling at ease with leaving Dan in the flat alone when he wasn’t feeling his best.

I plopped the shopping bags down in the hallway for the time being, not wanting to disturb Dan when I didn’t have to. Spotting the time, I decided that I’d go and make myself something for lunch. Dan would be missing out, but I felt it was more important that he slept off the headache and I’d make sure that he had a decent dinner when the time came.

After a quick bowl of pasta, I got on with my afternoon. I had a cooking video for my youtube channel to edit, so I decided to make a start on that. With no distractions, as Dan was sound asleep in the other room, I got stuck into my work and before I knew it, it had got to half past five. I would put dinner on, then go to wake up Dan, as he’d been asleep for over five hours.

We were having a chicken roast, so that would take about an hour in the oven. I’d do some vegetables with it eventually, but I wouldn’t need to put those on until nearer the time. After waiting for the oven to heat and putting the piece of meat in, I made my way to our bedroom. The door was still how I left it and Dan was still asleep in bed.

I crept in, shutting the door over behind me again and slowly sitting down on the bed. I pulled the duvet down from on top of Dan’s head and brushed his hair out of his face.

“Dan,” I said, squeezing his shoulder slightly, “It’s time to get up.”

After a minute or so of gentle touches and nudges and talking to him, I eventually got a response. Dan groaned, rolling onto his stomach and burying his face in the pillow.

“You’ve got to get up, love,” I told him, “It’s half past five and I’ve got dinner on.”

“Waaiiit, how long’d I sleep?” Dan mumbled sleepily.

“Like five or six hours,” I told him, rubbing my hand up and down his arm, “How are you feeling?”

Dan was quiet for a few moments, probably thinking about it before he responded, “Okay, yeah. My head seems fine now.”

“Well I think you should sit up, I’m going to open the curtains a little and let you adjust slowly,” I told him.

I got up from the bed to crack open the curtains a little, then returned to Dan’s side, leaning back against the headboard and motioning for him to come up next to me and do the same. With the encouragement, he was soon up next to me, my arm around his back and his head resting on my shoulder.

“Are you doing okay mentally?” I asked him, keeping my voice low, “You seemed a bit anxious earlier before the headache got to you.”

“I was a bit, but I’m okay now, thanks,” Dan said, nuzzling his head against me slightly. “Sorry if I’m super cuddly, I’m just feeling a little uhh… cuddly… I guess.”

“It’s fine Dan, I love when you’re being cuddly,” I told him, with a chuckle, “Like cuddles are one of my favourite things to be honest. Kissing is good, sex is good, but there’s something about cuddling which makes me feel all warm and happy inside.”

“Okay, I’m glad,” Dan told me, “I feel that way too.”

“How about…” I proposed, “After we’ve eaten, we could play a board game maybe, then get to bed early and cuddle?”

“That sounds good,” Dan nodded, a smile growing on his face, “What if I can’t sleep though?”

“I’m willing to bet we’ll stay up talking as we cuddle,” I told him, “And you never have any problems with too much sleep; it’ll do you good.”

When my timer went off to tell me it was time to put the veggies in, I persuaded Dan out of bed and to come through with me. He leant on the counter, watching me as I sorted out the vegetables. He looked fine now and I didn’t feel like there was anything to worry about. The shopping was maybe a little bit much for Dan and he was prone to headaches anyway, so it wasn’t a big deal. Everyone had bad days now and then, but we could get through it and that was what mattered.

As promised, after we’d both had our fill of food, we sat down to play a board game. It was something we both enjoyed but didn’t often do as we usually ended up watching TV instead. Tonight, however, I felt like it was best for Dan not to be watching a screen for hours. If there was anything to bring a headache back, it would be that.

Our evening ended in a warm bath together and then plenty of time cuddling in bed before we actually went to sleep. Dan was clinging to me, like a koala to a tree, and I actually found it quite adorable. He was warm and having him nestled in my arms felt right. Although there was nothing to protect him from, I felt protective and I hoped, that as a result, Dan felt safe.

Next Chapter =>

#phanfic #phanfiction #phan #tw #tw; ed #phan fluff #soulmates #soulmate au #fandom #phandom #waiter!phil #ed #someday

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daleisgreat · 3 years

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WrestleMania 36

Welcome to my annual WrestleMania-week entry where I recap the previous year’s WrestleMania (WM). Please indulge me for a bit, because the 2020 show had so many unprecedented circumstances going into it that it will require a bit of a prologue before I evaluate the card. For those that remember 2020’s installment of WWE’s biggest PPV of the year, it will be remembered as a WM like no other (hopefully!). For the better part of the latter half of WM history, the event has transpired in mammoth outdoor stadiums and/or sports arenas, oftentimes with inflated attendance numbers of well over 50,000. WWE would spare no expense with elaborate entrance stage sets, live band/artist performances, major celebrity/sports guests, etc. That all changed with 2020’s WrestleMania 36. WWE was set to roll forward with a pirate-themed WM, with countless pirate-themed ads, signage and a meticulous CG montage of WWE wrestlers decked out in pirate gear, and animated waves splashing against them while doing heroic sword-slashing poses to open the show. However, as we all know by now plans drastically altered, when with under a month before WM36’s original date of April 5th, the worldwide Co-Vid pandemic was declared on March 11th. This promptly shutdown a majority of travel and businesses internationally for the better part of the next two months before businesses and travel restrictions started to ease up, at least here in the United States. No one knew how long the shutdown was going to last, so WWE hastily taped the matches at their Performance Center training facilities, while rumored the tapings lasted up until the final hours before the lockdown went into effect in Florida.

This would mean for the first time in WM history, the even would be taped, and not on a short several hour delay ala Summerslam ‘92, but taped a couple weeks in advance! WWE officials allegedly were warning of severe consequences if spoilers leaked. Upon re-watching this WM36, it is still jaw-dropping to see the show associated with said large sports arenas and near six figures of fans was now emanating in front of ZERO fans in a small black-curtained off area of a training facility. Since the Network-era of WM PPVs in 2014, most of the events have went notoriously long around the six-to-seven hour mark when factoring in a two hour pre-show. While WWE was marketing yet another loaded 16-match card that would likely last that long, it seemed highly undesirable to force fans to watch that long of a show with zero fan atmosphere so WWE for the first time split WM into two nights on April 4th and 5th. On previous WM recaps here I advocated for two-night WMs because those one night marathons pushed alert limits to new levels, so I was relieved to hear WWE announce the two-night event. Keep in mind this was a few weeks into the pandemic, well before WWE started experimenting with NXT talent as fans for a couple months before eventually settling on the ubiquitous video walls of virtual fans at the Thunderdome that major WWE telecasts currently transpire in.

Usually the yearly WWE Hall of Fame ceremony is included with the BluRay as a bonus feature, but the 2020 ceremony that was slated to happen on WM36 weekend was postponed a year, and transpired earlier this week the same night with the 2021 inductees. Out of sheer habit and self-imposed obligation, I will give a quick breakdown of the 2020 half of the ceremony. It took place at the Thunderdome with Jerry Lawler back hosting, and in order to breeze through so many inductions there was no inductors, and some inductees like the Bellas were told they had a five minute time limit for their speeches. The 2020 Hall of Fame class is the nWo (Hulk Hogan, Scott Hall, Kevin Nash, Sean Waltman), British Bulldog, Jushin Thunder Liger, Nickie & Brie Bella, Justin Bradshaw Layfield, Warrior Award winner Titus ‘O Neil and representing the celebrity wing: William Shatner. Dave Batista was supposed to be inducted too, but he postponed his induction because of a scheduling conflict and wanted to accept in person. It was kind of odd seeing the Hall of Fame done with virtual fans, but WWE did their best with piping in artificial fan noise at appropriately timed references and jokes, and even fake chants when the hall of famers hit their catchphrases. A nice video recap aired for each inductee, and then most inductees gave roughly five minute speeches. JBL kicked off, and for a five minute speech he hit as many key highlights as he could in that short time allocated, and had a nice closing where he teased a heartfelt apology to locker room rivals. Some inductees like Shatner and Liger could not attend, but sent in brief, pre-recorded acceptance speeches. One inadvertent positive side effect was Liger’s speech was translated through subtitles, and there was no pauses to wait for the translator that would happen if it was done live. Shatner’s breezy speech took a fun jab at Lawler, and was to the point. Between each induction, brief backstage interviews were done with current WWE stars acknowledging how big a night this was for the legends and shared past stories and memories. Davey Boy Smith’s son, Harry, alongside Bulldog’s widow, Diana and Matilda’s granddaughter, Huffy, gave an affectionate induction to his father.

The “Legacy Wing” of the Hall of Fame occurred next, and the 2020 class was represented by Ray Stevens, Brickhouse Brown, “Dr. Death” Steve Williams, Baron Michele Leone and Gary Hart. A very deserving Titus ‘O Neil was recognized with the annual Warrior Award for his countless philanthropic efforts, and Titus gave an inspirational and heartwarming acceptance. The Bellas were expectedly on brand with their speeches, and each of the four nWo members shared some fun Monday Night Wars tales, except for Scott Hall who said only about 20 words. Hogan teased he never lost the nWo Title and that he would make a return to defend it. All told the 2020 portion of the ceremony was about an hour and a half, making it the shortest WWE Hall of Fame ceremony in quite some time! 2020 was undoubtedly a tough year on everyone. Come that WM36 weekend I, like many others, was in a rough place. Being a few weeks into the pandemic I had no idea what to make sense of on the news. I originally had a vacation planned for a week starting a few days before WM where I was going to be travelling out of town for a retro videogame convention I try and hit up most years, and it would have conveniently wrapped up shortly before WM started. As anticipated, the convention was cancelled, and in a crazy coincidence the day before I originally was planning to leave a water pipe burst in my home and my place had all kinds of water damage and furniture moved around for several days before it was all put back into place and cleaned up. Adding to the coincidental timing, night one of WM happened to be on my birthday, and this was early in the pandemic before masks were widely available and a lot of adherence to the lockdown and social distancing was being recommended and I felt gutted when family members wanted to celebrate and all I told them I felt safe doing was briefly visiting a few of them on my driveway. Needless to say, with all that going on my headspace had seen better days, and having WM36 to selfishly fall back on that weekend was a modicum of respite I desperately needed.

Thank you for indulging me with all that prefacing. With that all out of the way, it is time to move onward to looking at night one of WM36. Both nights of WM36 had a half hour kickoff show, with one match on each kickoff show that are included as BluRay bonuses. Night one saw Cesaro and Drew Gulak tear it up in a hard-hitting, five minute technical showcase with Cesaro getting the win with a momentous Airplane Spin. Stephanie McMahon gave a special introduction to the unique circumstances that were forced upon WM36 once the show officially began. I will give props to WWE for their contingency plan when their planned special artist to sing “America the Beautiful” could not make the event, and instead WWE went with a medley/montage of all past WM artists and bands like Little Richard, Aretha Franklin, Boyz 2 Men, Ray Charles and many more singing the anthem that traditionally kicks off WM. From there, four-time Super Bowl winner and host of WM36, Rob Gronkowski welcomed everyone, and his real-life friend and WWE star, Mojo Rawley, joined him in the hosting balcony. The first official WM36 match was for the Women’s Tag Titles with Asuka & Kari Sayne defending against Alexa Bliss & Nikki Cross. I miss Kari Sayne, and am still in disbelief how WWE wrote her off TV a few months later via implied murder! Kari & Asuka’s foreign taunting and screaming helped fill the void of no crowd noise to an extent, but was not enough for them to retain after Alexa pinned Kari with her Twisted Bliss to win the gold for her and Nikki. Baron Corbin faced Elias who Baron thought would be unable to compete after recently tossing him off a balcony, but Elias made it in time to whack Baron with a guitar, and eventually Corbin’s jawjacking with the ref got the best of him as Elias capitalized with a roll-up for the win in this brief fan favorite arc of his character. Becky Lynch defended the RAW Women’s Title against Shayna Baszler next. Becky was near the end of her red-hot year+ long reign as champ here, but this bout had a peculiar build highlighted by Shayna bloodily biting Becky’s ear. This also-peculiar match saw Becky mostly taking a ground attack beating from Shayna until Becky pulled off a reverse pinning combination for the sudden win.

Sami Zayn defended his Intercontinental Title next against Daniel Bryan. Zayn was accompanied by Cesaro & Shinsuke Nakamura while Bryan was seconded by Drew Gulak. Interference from all three played a factor throughout this intense battle, with a distracted Bryan falling victim to Sami’s Haluva Kick for the victory. The Smackdown Tag Titles were on the line next in a triple threat ladder match, but with only one member from each team due to Miz being quarantined for Co-Vid symptoms. So that meant John Morrison defended the tag titles solo against Kofi Kingston of the New Day and Jimmy Uso. The three did not disappoint with many creative highspots and sequences, with a unique finish that saw all three unhook the tag titles at the same time and Morrison collapsing off the ladder with the titles after a tug-of-war battle with them to successfully retain the titles. Seth Rollins faced Kevin Owens next, and Owens continued his awesome tradition of paying homage to vintage WM posters, with a nod to WMIV’s poster design on his shirt. Rollins DQ’d himself early in the match after using the ring bell, but Owens goads Rollins into restarting the match with No DQ. This time Owens repeatedly hits Rollins with the bell to lay him out long enough for Owens to climb on top of the WM sign to deliver a Cannonball Splash through the announcer’s table in an eye-opening spot. Owens then dragged a lifeless Seth to the ring to execute a Stunner for the win. A WM host check-in with Mojo and Gronk was interrupted by Hardcore 24/7 champion, R-Truth, who was seeking refuge from all comers up in the host balcony, but instead fell to a gut-punch from Gronk, only to see Mojo sneak in a quick pin and run off from his hosting duties as the new 24/7 champ.

The Universal Title match was up next that was scheduled to have Bill Goldberg defend against Roman Reigns. Several days before the WM tapings however, Roman Reigns shocked everyone by legitimately pulling out of the match due to understandable Co-Vid concerns from having underlying health issues from being a two-time Leukemia survivor. With such short notice, WWE did not have time to build a storyline replacement for last minute substitute, Braun Strowman, and only briefly publicly declared the substitution during a rundown of all the matches the day before on Smackdown. The match was a quick smashmouth flurry of finishers, with Goldberg unable to pin Braun after four straight spears, and instead Braun achieving the pin and Universal title after unleashing four straight powerslams.

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The main event for night one of WM36 was the cinematic “Boneyard Match” between AJ Styles and The Undertaker. For those not keeping up with pandemic-era WWE, the first few PPVs of the pandemic saw the inclusion of one or two matches on each PPV shot in the form of a movie, often without commentary and instead ambient music in the background. I embedded the match above (or click or press here to check it out) for those who have not seen it, because if you are a lapsed fan and have not witnessed it yet, the match garnered surprise acclaim from both wrestling and non-wrestling fans. It saw AJ and ‘Taker duke it out in a dilapidated graveyard, complete with Eastwood-esque trash talk, mystical druids, old-school ‘Taker dark magic, Good Brothers, motorcyles and Metallica. It was freaking great, and a much needed distraction from the empty arena. The finish saw ‘Taker big boot AJ into an empty grave, and dump a truckload of dirt on him to gracefully exit the “Boneyard” on his motorcycle with Metallica singing him out. As of this writing, this was Undertaker’s last match, and going by his latest interviews it sounds like he is indeed hanging it up for good this time, especially after WWE threw him a “final farewell” retirement-esque ceremony on the character’s 30th anniversary several months later at Survivor Series. Still with me for night two coverage of WM36? Take a break, grab a Steve-weiser, and relax for my night two coverage! The kickoff match saw Liv Morgan usurp Natalya with a reverse roll-up after a solid back-and-forth match. Night two officially started with Rhea Ripley defending the NXT Women’s Title against Charlotte Flair. Sorry to report that I am not a big fan of either of these two, and this match did not sit well with me either as it was mostly Flair working over Rhea’s leg until she locked in the Figure-Eight for the tapout win. Charlotte’s NXT title run wound up being a disaster, and she did not put over anyone while she was champ there. Onto better things as Aleister Black and Bobby Lashley squared off next. I completely forgot Lashley was married to Lana at this point in his character, but that would change soon after this as Lana urged Lashley to switch up finishing moves on Black, which backfired and saw Aleister connect with his Black Mass finisher for the pin. Next up saw Dolph Ziggler face Otis in the apex of a meticulous storyline where Otis fell victim to Dolph’s treachery when trying to win the heart of Mandy Rose. Mandy’s former friend Sonya Deville was assisting Dolph throughout the match until Mandy ran out to take care of her, which set up Otis to hit his outrageous Caterpillar finish for the win, and the happy uniting with Rose which tried its darnd-est to be on the same level with Randy Savage and Elizabeth from WMVII.

The next match was Edge’s big return singles match against Randy Orton after coming back at the Royal Rumble a couple months earlier. The buildup to this bout was impressive too, with Edge, Orton and Beth Phoenix all having emotional and investing promos leading up to this. This was a Last Man Standing match that saw the two battle all over the Performance Center throughout the backstage area, offices, training facilities and parking areas before reaching its final act on top of a semi where the two traded finishing moves until Edge hit a con-chair-toe for the 10-count win. The match held up much better on second viewing, and is best to watch it on its own as it lasted nearly 40 minutes. Shortly after this, Mojo Rawley re-emerged into the ringside area fending off 24/7 Title pursuers. Gronk took this moment upon himself to leap onto the pile of wrestlers from the host balcony and pin Mojo to win the 24/7 Title, a belt he would hold for a couple months until shortly after un-retiring from football where a sneaky R-Truth would roll-up Gronk for the title in his yard while filming a Tik-Toc video….seriously. Titus ‘O Neil would shortly arrive later to wrap-up hosting duties for Gronk for the remainder of the show. The RAW Tag Titles were on the line next with the Street Profits defending against Angel Garza and Austin Theory, who was a last minute sub for an injured Andrade. This was a quick five minute recharge bout, with the four competitors all staying in third gear throughout it for a non-stop action affair. Angelo Dawkins pinned Theory after a surprise splash from Montez Ford. The Smackdown Women’s Title 5-Way Elimination match followed with Bayley defending against Lacey Evans, Sasha Banks, Tamina and Naomi. Sasha and Bayley team up for a lot of early success, until their teamwork fails and Sasha falls victim to Lacey’s Women’s Right leaving it down to Lacey and Bayley. Right when it looks like Lacey has Bayley’s number, Sasha returned with a Backstabber on Lacey, which allowed Bayley to follow that up by driving Lacey down to the mat for the win.

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The cinematic match of the second night was a “Firefly Funhouse” bout between “The Fiend” Bray Wyatt and John Cena. I have no idea where to begin describing this one. Essentially, Bray Wyatt suffers from multiple-personality disorder, and in this match Cena journeys to Wyatt’s multi-dimensional funhouse. It is filled with decades of pro-wrestling references that sees Cena and Wyatt cut Saturday Night’s Main Event-era promos on each other, join the nWo and relive Cena’s debut against Kurt Angle. I swear I am up not making any of this up! Just check out the embed above or click or press here to see for yourself! This cinematic match did not quite measure up to the Boneyard match, but was still an entertaining spectacle to experience with the deluge of references and callbacks to wrestling history. Eventually “The Fiend” pinned Cena with his Mandible Claw (while Bray Wyatt counted the pin, just roll with it), and the live feed then cut to a confused Titus ‘O Neil proclaiming what we all were thinking “I have no idea what we just saw.” The main event of night two saw Brock Lesnar defending the WWE Title against Drew McIntyre. This was built up as Drew’s big redemption story after being fired from WWE several years earlier, and it taking him 16 years to win his first major championship. It was too bad it all played out in the empty performance center, but the duo made the best of it with another instant hard hitting affair similar to the Braun/Goldberg match. After a little bit of early brawling, Brock hit three F5s which Drew all kicked out of, and then Drew countered with three straight Claymore kicks to be crowned the WWE champion for the feel-good closing of the show. What aired on RAW the next night, but actually transpired about 20 minutes after the Brock match and is on here as a BluRay bonus feature is Drew coming back to the ring for a victory interview only to be interrupted and challenged for the title by Big Show. Drew accepts the challenge, and after taking a pounding from Big Show for several minutes, Drew recovers and fires back with a Claymore for his first successful title defense. Drew has went on to be “the guy” for RAW for the better part of the next year, and while it feels he has been fulfilling that role, it is impossible to tell without a live, paying, audience, and I am curious to see how Drew is received at WM37 this weekend against Lashley.

The WM35 BluRay had the 2019 Hall of Fame as a digital bonus feature, and on the disc it had the entirety of the next night’s RAW, and a couple segments from the next Smackdown. The WM36 BluRay went down a different road with its bonus features, and aside from the two bonus kickoff matches and the post-WM Drew/Big Show match, there is about two hours of accumulated interviews, promos and segments from the previous two months of RAW, Smackdown and NXT. I watched them all, and it was a nice refresher of all the rivalries, although awkward at the same time, because about half of the segments still have fans in the arena which felt weird to see again after so long with empty/virtual arenas. Some highlights include a couple vintage Paul Heyman hype promos, AJ Styles and the Goodbrothers messing with Undertaker, the awful Rhea Ripley/Charlotte Flair interactions from NXT and Randy Orton’s epic must-see promo on Beth Phoenix for why he attacked Edge. It would be unfair of me to give a traditional yay/nay grade to WrestleMania 36 due to how the event barely came together at the final hour in the early stages of the pandemic. Seeing a lot of these matches in the empty Performance Center simply feels weird, and proved constantly difficult to suspend disbelief and get into the pro-wrestling fan mindset during viewing. The two cinematic matches are what essentially helped get me back into “fan mode” and get invested in the unique nature of those two bouts, and if you have to watch two matches from this show, then those two are the way to go. The two “slobberknocker” world title brawls are also quick, intense matches that are worth checking out. Once again, I love the two-night concept as it serves as a perfect break point for watching at home, and I am thankful WWE is doing that again for this year’s WM. All things told, this will go down as a historical achievement that WWE managed to put this together, and probably worth one day going back to watching to see how far we have come from those early dark days of the pandemic before we knew what the next eventful year had in store for everyone.

Past Wrestling Blogs Best of WCW Clash of Champions Best of WCW Monday Nitro Volume 2 Best of WCW Monday Nitro Volume 3 Biggest Knuckleheads Bobby The Brain Heenan Daniel Bryan: Just Say Yes Yes Yes DDP: Positively Living Dusty Rhodes WWE Network Specials ECW Unreleased: Vol 1 ECW Unreleased: Vol 2 ECW Unreleased: Vol 3 Eric Bishoff: Wrestlings Most Controversial Figure Fight Owens Fight: The Kevin Owens Story For All Mankind Getting Rowdy: The Unreleased Matches of Roddy Piper Goldberg: The Ultimate Collection Hulk Hogans Unreleased Collectors Series Impact Wresting Presents: Best of Hulk Hogan Its Good to Be the King: The Jerry Lawler Story The Kliq Rules Ladies and Gentlemen My Name is Paul Heyman Legends of Mid South Wrestling Macho Man: The Randy Savage Story Memphis Heat NXT: From Secret to Sensation NXT Greatest Matches Vol 1 OMG Vol 2: Top 50 Incidents in WCW History OMG Vol 3: Top 50 Incidents in ECW History Owen: Hart of Gold Randy Savage Unreleased: The Unseen Matches of the Macho Man RoH Supercard of Honor 2010-Present ScoobyDoo Wrestlemania Mystery Scott Hall: Living on a Razors Edge Shawn Michaels: My Journey Shawn Michaels: The Showstopper Unreleased Sting: Into the Light Straight Outta Dudley-ville: Legacy of the Dudley Boyz Straight to the Top: Money in the Bank Anthology Superstar Collection: Zach Ryder Then Now Forever – The Evolution of WWEs Womens Division TLC 2017 TNA Lockdown 2005-2016 Top 50 Superstars of All Time Tough Enough: Million Dollar Season True Giants Ultimate Fan Pack: Roman Reigns Ultimate Warrior: Always Believe War Games: WCWs Most Notorious Matches Warrior Week on WWE Network Wrestlemania III: Championship Edition Wrestlemania 28-Present The Wrestler (2008) Wrestling Road Diaries Too Wrestling Road Diaries Three: Funny Equals Money Wrestlings Greatest Factions WWE Network Original Specials First Half 2015 WWE Network Original Specials Second Half 2015 WWE Network Original Specials First Half 2016 WWE Network Original Specials Second Half 2016 WWE Network Original Specials First Half 2017

#Wrestling #Wrestlemania #WWE #john cena #drew mcintyre #Brock Lesnar #daniel bryan #rob gronkowski #goldberg #braun strowman #drew gulak #cesaro #becky lynch #shayna baszler

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allenmendezsr · 4 years

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Competition Bbq Secrets 300 Deg Hot & Fast

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Competition Bbq Secrets 300 Deg Hot & Fast

Buy Now

Now You Can Get Real Competition BBQ Secrets

We’re Declaring War on Average BBQ Everywhere!

You are just one small step away from skyrocketing your BBQ skills, saving yourself 5+ years of time, and becoming the new BBQ King in Your Neighborhood!

BBQ Friend:

I’m Bill Anderson, head pitmaster on the Chatham Artillery BBQ Team and 8x Grand Champion.

I’m going to help you to be a BBQ grand champion too! You see, I wasn’t always an expert BBQ pitmaster… I started out in my back yard like everybody else. I thought I was pretty good at it too – having “perfected” a few barbecue recipes that delighted my friends and family.

Then one day, I was asked to help my brother-in-law at a BBQ competition down in Douglas, GA. We took 2nd place ribs in the back yard division and we were hooked. We moved on up to the pro division and ran into some serious roadblocks. As it turned out, those guys in the pro division don’t mess around… they take their BBQ seriously!

It was clear that my back yard barbecue recipes were not going to cut it. So I practiced and practiced and practiced some more. I needed testers and people to eat all those trial runs, so my friends and family loved it! But it was costing me a small fortune.

Still, our competition scores were not up to par.

Competition after competition we sat there and watched while the other teams “walked” to get their checks and trophies. I found out real quick that BBQ judges were a lot different than my friends and family. BBQ judges will insult your barbecue skills in a heartbeat (with bad scoring) – friends and family will always tell you your BBQ is great no matter what.

And therein lies the “big difference”…

Being a competitive person, I was determined to make the leap to competition quality BBQ recipes and not be satisfied with back yard quality anymore. After all, winning isn’t everything, it’s the ONLY thing.

I did some judging and I took a $750 class to figure out flavor profiles and other things the judges were looking for. These things, along with my own knowledge is what allowed me to go on to win 8 contests over the next 2 years – I was winning every other contest I entered! Yiiiippppeeee!

I had earned some serious bragging rights!

Not only was I king of my neighborhood, but I was king amongst professional barbecue teams too.

Now, I want to teach you all my secrets that cost me a small fortune to figure out!

So you can be the king (or queen) of your neighborhood too. Heck, you may even want to compete like I did. Or open a barbecue restaurant or BBQ food truck some day. With the info in Competition BBQ Secrets, you’ll blow your competition away because these competition quality BBQ recipes are even better than 99% of what most restaurants put out.

Don’t take my word for it, here’s just a small sampling of many, many satisfied students say about the BBQ Book…

I don’t know if this a real success story or not, But it is for me! I have been BBQing for over 67 years and it has changed a lot in my time. When just a short time ago I got Your book and found out that I had no more idea then a Jack Ass of what I was trying to do. I had entered in two contest preveiously and came in dead LAST! I thought You cooked your meat piled the best you had in a box and turned that in. WRONG! This past weekend I entered in Knoxville, Tn. and came in 9 th overall. With a 2nd in chicken, 14th in ribs, a 7th in brisket and 15th in pork…. Col. Dave Franks, long time US Army cook, author of Foods of the Southland, Alex Haley’s private chef, and head pitmaster for Lil’ Red Barn BarBQ Team

Hi Bill – My brisket turned out great I have been trying to smoke one for over ten years every time it would come out dry like boot leather. I learned so much from your book I’m going bear hunting in Colorado in September can’t wait to try it again for all my hunting buddys I hope you make the finals would love to try a pros BQ in AR keep me updated you have made my wife and daughter so happy that I can finally smoke a brisket!!! Tim

Bill,Wanted to let you know that your book is wonderfull , so much info. We used some of your suggestions along with our ideas and were grand champions at our 1st BBQ cookoff. Everyone should get your BBQ book–packed full of info. Tom Mashos Fossil, Oregon– Smok’n Hot BBQ Team

Well I’ll be! After three years of cook-offs, one trophy here, one trophy there. I bought your book, I read the dang thing at least five times. This past week-end, the Family Tradition cookers took reserve grand champs for the first time. IBCA cook in Willis Texas, 2nd chicken, 3rd ribs (highest ever), 9th in brisket. I look forward to your next email and any new books and recipes.Thanks a bunch. Erik

Great book. Very informative for those not only wanting to begin competing in BBQ but for the general home BBQ’r as well. – Michael M

We are Grand Champions of…

Hasan Shrine Spring Festival 2009 – Albany, GA (FBA) Some of the best teams in the Nation were there and we took 2nd in chicken, 2nd in brisket, and 1st in pork.

Blue Ridge BBQ & Music Festival 2009 – Tryon, NC (KCBS) There were 78 teams present at this KCBS event. We placed 1st in ribs.

(very rare back to back win!) Blue Ridge BBQ & Music Festival 2010 – Tryon, NC (KCBS), Back to Back wins! There were 87 teams this year. We took 2nd in chicken, 4th in ribs, 13th in pork, and 4th in brisket.

Festival of Discovery 2009 – Greenwood, SC (KCBS) There were 58 teams present at this BBQ contest and we placed 2nd in brisket.

Pigs & Peaches Festival 2009 – Kennesabbq contest grand championw, GA (KCBS). There were 43 teams present and we placed 1st in ribs, 2nd in chicken, 4th in pork, and 3rd in brisket.

Florida State BBQ Championship (KCBS) at Daytona International Speedway on July 4th weekend 2010. Some of the best teams in the Country were at this action packed event on July 4th weekend.

2010 Dillard, GA Bluegrass & Barbecue Festival with a surprise 1st place brisket and a good 6th place chicken. A good showing with 15th in ribs and 14th in pork rounded out the grand.

2010 “The Real Squeal” Lyons BBQ & Bluegrass Festival in Lyons, GA. We were 4th in chicken, 3rd in ribs, 3rd in pork, and 2nd in brisket.

2013 Sam’s Club Tour Finals in Bentonville, AR. 1st place brisket! We can legitimately claim to be the best brisket cooks in the Country after winning brisket in this playoff style series and also 3 other 1st places and a 2nd in brisket this year.

Here’s just a short list of everything you get in Competition BBQ Secrets…

This is NOT a cookbook! This BBQ book is more of an instruction manual. Don’t get me wrong, there are a good bit of recipes, but we don’t stop there… we go on to explain in fine detail how to smoke championship barbecue ribs, butts, chicken and brisket. There’s a separate chapter for each!

Best Brisket in the World – I’m not bragging here. In 2013, I was the best brisket cook in the world. Having won many first place briskets and going on to win first place brisket at the KCBS Sam’s Club Finals in Bentonville, AR against the best teams in the world. The complete and exact details on how to cook the best brisket in the world are in this book. No details are left out. Your mind is not even capable of understanding how good it is. You must experience it to believe it!

My competition sauce recipe – included at no extra charge. Most teams keep this info top secret – even if they are teaching a live class.

I’m your barbecue coach! Just email me anytime if you have a problem.

Cookers – the different types and how you can slow smoke on anything from a professional offset smoker to your old trusty Weber kettle grill and everything in between.

How to smoke a turkey, reverse sear a steak, jellyroll cut pork loin or beef tenderloin, and much more!

How your wood choice will impart that sought after smoke flavor and smoke ring.

How marinades, brines, and injections will improve the quality of your barbecue recipes.

You have to use rubs… your meats will be bland without them. We tell you all about them and even include some great recipes if you want to mix your own.

Your new book will also tell you how to properly use finishing sauces and glazes on your barbecue recipes.

We also give you some great information on competitions, how to prepare for competitions, and even a checklist of what to bring to a competition. Exact competition schedule is included too!

A complete list of all the BBQ Associations known to exist with the web address for each. Each BBQ Association has it’s own contests and you can find their schedules easily with the information in your new book.

How to trim spareribs St Louis Style and how to trim a brisket.

A whole chapter on barbecue science – smoke rings and maillard reactions.

A complete list of resources for smokers, rubs, sauces, and forums.

and much more!

Benefits of an eBook….

eBooks are in Adobe Acrobat .pdf format and you will be directed to the download page immediately after payment.

Speed – you will receive it immediately and shipping is FREE.

Save a Tree – Do you know how much resources are used to print a paper book?

Live links – throughout the book, there are many, many references to external web pages that contain a wealth of information that you need to read. With the eBook, just click on the blue “hyperlink” and you will instantly go to that web page.

Bookmarks – The entire table of contents is “bookmarked” for your convenience. Just click on a chapter title and you immediately jump to that chapter. At the end of the chapter, you can jump back to the table of contents.

Color Pictures – There are many pictures in the eBook that are color. A paper book with color pictures on every page would be very expensive.

Printable – The book is only 87 pages, so it’s easily printable after downloading.

Full 60 Day 100% Satisfaction or Your Money Back…

If, for any reason, you are not satisfied with your barbecue recipes, just send the processor (Clickbank) an email and they will immediately refund your money. There is a link to do this at the bottom of your email receipt. It’s simple, easy, and fast.

How much is this gonna cost me, Bill?

It’s not gonna cost you $750 for a live class like I paid. There are no travel expenses. It’s not gonna cost you 5+ years going to the school of hard knocks either. It’s not gonna cost you $1000’s in practice meat and fuel costs. I could easily charge you over $500 for this valuable information, but if you act now, you can get it all for the low price of $29.95.

And if you order now, before the timer expires, we’ll throw in the original Competition BBQ Secrets at no extra cost to you. The original is more of a low & slow version and the new one is hot & fast or what the competitors call power cooking. Why cook a brisket for 20 hours when you can cook it for 5 with better results? Remember, I won best brisket in the world cooking hot & fast.

Get Yours Now….

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