#looking back at these fics i think ive grown as a writer

[compacflt]

I have an anecdote about when I worked for a company and a co-worker left to work in a different state on military aircraft. He had to get a TS clearance and because we had worked for several years together he asked if I would be okay with being interviewed for his clearance. I said sure and an interviewer w the gov, arranged to come to my place of work and conduct the interview there. I was asked questions about him like how well did I know him, and whatever answer I gave led to more specific questions like if I answered a question about knowing his wife, they would ask if I thought his marriage sounded secure etc.

This memory of that experience was on my mind while I read your story and I wondered who Iceman would choose for his TS clearance interviews (and who the gov would choose for him) and what would they say? I feel like their "secret" would be uncovered in even a low level clearance (years later I had to submit names for a low level Public Trust clearance for my job) It was so embarrassing because I did not have many friends I was comfortable submitting for that as I kept my work and home life very separate.

Anyway, that is my "cool story, bro"

Thank you for such a great and well researched story!

this is indeed a cool story bro and touches on what is literally my story’s fatal flaw, which is: Yeah, a shitload of people would’ve known about it. I am going to hijack your question to talk about that, so my apologies, though i will get around to your question by the end. This is gonna be a really long post. I have a lot to say and a lot of ground to cover.

So I wanna start out by talking about the structure of this story and its core conflict, because while I’d like to say this story is rooted in an accurate depiction of the US military, obviously that’s not true; it’s rooted in the dynamic of the story that i wanted to tell, which is the story of a guy coming to realize the truth behind a Big Lie—him passing as straight. And that’s a pretty universal story, but it’s made more specific by the fact that a) the guy canonically wants to be the best in an institution that enforces the Big Lie and b) the guy canonically is so successful because he follows the rules/orders of that institution. So, for character growth, to put it simply, the guy (Ice) has to come to the conclusion that the Big Lie is a lie by himself. He can’t be told/ordered that the Big Lie is a lie, otherwise he hasn’t grown out of “just following orders.” (I’ll get to the Big Lie in a second. I made charts and story structure graphs below.)

The only other story about a Big Lie I can think of off the top of my head right now is Passing (1929) by Nella Larsen, which is about a Black woman in Chicago trying to pass as both white and straight. It’s a great book and I’ll try not to spoil it, you should really read it for yourself, but the terminology I’m going to use in this post comes from an analysis of it, so just to bring you up to speed—Clare, the woman trying to pass as white, is recognized by a friend, another Black-but-passing woman, Irene, who is shocked that Clare has abandoned her heritage (the truth of her, that is) and married a hyper-racist white man who doesn’t even know that she’s Black. So the book sets up a dynamic of the Big Lie that I’ve outlined here (hopefully it makes sense):

I built on this dynamic for my fic. Ice is both a “dupe” and a “passing figure,” in that he believes the lie that he is straight and also passes for straight—but it’s also more complicated than that because he’s not actually straight (getting to that). Mav is an “in-group clairvoyant” and can recognize Ice as passing because he is also straight-passing. The Navy are a bunch of “dupes.” But…what is Slider, for instance, or your question’s hypothetical government official who, yes, will 100% find out because people always find out?

In comes my ginormous-and-overly-wordy WWGATTAI Plot and Character Dynamic Summary Graph. You don’t really have to read it all, the only important bits for this discussion are the leftmost column (“plot”) and the green quadrant (“out-group clairvoyants”).

To summarize—people who know the truth can’t actually act on it, because for Ice’s character growth to make sense, he has to come to the truth himself. This forecloses the possibility of any outwardly homophobic action (by which I mean someone like a govt official or one of my lame OCs actually challenging him on his illegal relationship) in the plot, because for 90% of the story Ice is so fragile that he would probably just cave immediately and double down on the internalized homophobia. So, for plot purposes, everyone—including Mav, as it happens—has to sort of tiptoe around Ice’s obvious not-straightness and give him an unreasonable amount of grace so he can figure it out for himself. 

And therein lies the fatal flaw of this story. It is, like, not conceptually viable. Of course people would find out, of course the government would interrogate him about it, of course he’d have to confront the truth much sooner than TWENTY-FIVE years after he first starts messing around with Mav.  Which literally breaks my heart because I didn’t realize it was a fundamentally busted story until long after I had finished writing the base plot & couldn’t fix the overarching problems 😭 The thing is, it had to be this way, because there is at least a thirty-year gap between TG86 and TGM22, and TGM is obviously the emotional climax of the series and my story had to match that. So—fanfic and its canon constraints, everyone. 

But also… I can explain away these logical inconsistencies with story structure & character dynamic graphs to make the story make sense, sure, but it doesn’t change the truth of the matter, which is that… I hadn’t ever really thought about things like security clearances, and therefore wrote around them because I didn’t even know to consider them. And I know there are a bunch of other details in this story that betray my immaturity (anytime I talk about alcohol, for instance—I still am not legal to drink in this stupid country & have only cheap bad experiences to draw on; THE HOUSE—if i could rewrite this story from the beginning they would not have bought a fucking house together, what was I thinking???) and the lack of thought about the real-life logistics and consequences of secrecy is one of them. 

And it’s exactly what I mean when I say “I look at this story and all I see are its flaws,” which is why I wanted to write this post & get it on record. I have just enough life experience to read my own writing and know that it’s fundamentally unconvincing, and not enough life experience to know how to fix it. :(

But, to answer your original question, you’ve got me brainstorming a scene where Ice is asking Slider to be his character witness & Slider’s like “Look bro do you want me to lie to the federal government under oath for you because I will” and Ice has to be like “Legally I cannot ask that of you but”

[reallychaoticwoo]

⛓️ Im so sorry it's taken so long but here it is! I really hope you enjoy it and I was able to do what you imagined 🖤 ⛓️

✨️ 7 Sees 1 Team ✨️

❤️Pairing: Yeosang x reader

⚠️Warnings: MDNI 18+ ONLY!! cussing, oral f receiving, fingering, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex (wrap it up buttercup), soft dom Yeo, subby fan reader, squirting, voyeurism, slightly possesive Yeo🖤

‼️This is purely for entertainment purposes and does not represent the idols in any way‼️

🖤I just want to apologize again for how long this took ive had a fic that ive been stuck on that kind of shut me down mentally for a while but my writers block is over and i should be posting more frequently here soon! Also, of course theres going to be a happy fluffy ending because i am a simp for a love story even though im also a feral whore 🤣 As always i hope you enjoy and thank you so much for your support!🖤

The concert had been a whirlwind of emotions. You had screamed your heart out, laughed, cried, sang, danced, and obviously completely drooled at the unbelievably god like men preforming on stage. Sadly, the concert had come to an end but at least you still had send off to look forward to. Truly that was the only thing keeping you together in this moment. Making your way to the long hallway to find yourself a spot, you'd spotted the group out of the corner of your eye heading to their dressing room to cool down before they said their final goodbyes. You'd made eye contact with Yeosang during this brief moment and shot him a kind smile and a small wave. He returned the smile and wave before disappearing with the rest of the group.

The wait for Ateez to come back out wasn't actually that long but it felt like forever. Your anxiety had gotten the best of you thinking about how close they'd be, how they would actually be right in front of you, in person, you could genuinely reach out and shake their hand. You were shaking in anticipation. One by one the members passed down the line, each one of them making small talk with you and other fans, signing photocards or other things people had brought, and taking pictures or videos. You weren't prepared for Yeosang to reach you, not after the small hut very meaningful to you (and him, but you didnt know that), exchange of smiles the two of you had only 10 minutes prior.

A few of the girls around you were complementing the statue like man, calling him cute, adorable, sweet, ect. You just smile waiting patiently for him to get to you mumbling under your breathe almost in unison with his words "He's not cute. He's grown, he's handsome, stunning even, but not cute." Your words, which you thought no one could hear above the crowd of excited fans, caught his attention, his ears perking up at the fact you agreed with him, and not only that, you said he wasn't cute right as he had said it to the fans. To him, it felt like you understood him in that moment. He could do cute things, but he, himself, was not cute.

Finally putting himself directly in front of you to chat for a moment, he asked if you'd like a picture to which you obviously said yes. After a couple pictures, he chatted with you asking how you enjoyed the concert, who your bias was, and almost too quietly for you to hear, if you had any plans after send off. You answered every question, a little hesitant on the last one not sure how to answer as you didn't think telling him that your only plans were to go home and daydream about this night for the next week would be a good answer. Instead you said you didn't really have plans to which he smiled excitedly. Feeling a bit more confident around you and finding you were so easy to be around he asked you if you'd like to join him after send off to hang out. He wasn't obvious about it as there were many people around but his mood greatly improved after he moved away from you and continued down the line. Little did you know you had just made his night as special as he had made yours.

Finding you after send off wasn't too hard for him as you hadn't moved a single inch since he asked you to join him for the night. You felt like your heart was beating out of your chest and you'd been in a state of shock since that moment. When he caught your eyes you immediately perked up and shot him another smile and small wave, to which he returned as his made his way to you. "Hello, Tiny! Thank you for staying after, hopefully the wait wasn't too long!" Gosh, his voice was serene, melting you with every word. "No, not at all. Honestly I could've waited hours if needed it's not every day your bias asks to get to know you. I feel like this is a dream." You chuckled, a bit embarrassed at how eager you were coming off.

Noticing your nerves which he very much felt as well in this moment, he grabbed your hand and started walking with you. "Its not every day I ask to get to know a fan. If I'm being completely honest you're actually the first person I've asked to stay and wanted to get to know." The blush on his face said it all. You knew Yeosang wasn't much as much of an outgoing man as his fellow members. You admired that about him, how he seemed to be content in his own company, how he could be reserved and still scream confidence and mesmerize an entire fan base. "Well I'm honored to be the first." Your voice was barely audible, but he heard you loud and clear. "If I'm going to be truly honest, I do also feel the need to let you know you're the first one that's caught my attention in other ways as well. However I'm fully okay with getting to know you as a friend if you're uninterested in anything more than that." You froze on the spot, almost making the muscular man stumble back as his hand that was holding yours tugged against him. "I'm sorry, that was very forward. Please disregard that. I would very much like to just get to know you." Still standing in place you looked around yourself noticing you were now in a different hallway with many doors on each side of you.

Noticing some of them seemed to be dressing rooms for the background dancers and the one that seemed to be for Ateez. You slowly took a step forward letting Yeosang continue to lead you only a few more steps before you were outside the groups dressing room. Looking at the plaque on the door and then back to him you finally spoke, " I- I'm sorry for my reaction, I just.. I wasn't expecting that. But since you've been so honest with me I feel I should return the favor and let you know that I have definitely thought about more intimate scenarios involving you and myself as well. So I'm by no means going to turn you down if that's what you're insinuating." You were certain your cheeks were bright red as you looked up to the man with hopefull eyes. "Wonderful, then let's hurry with the fun half before the guys get back, we have all night to talk and get to know each other afterwards."

You hadn't even made it three steps in the door before Yeosang had you pinned against it, his lips pressed against your own, kissing you passionately, his one hand resting against your jaw, his other moving down your body to find it's place on your hip. You didn't expect this from him, but that didn't mean you were pleasantly surprised. Small soft moans escaping your lips only to be swallowed by the very hungry man in front of you. Without breaking the kiss for even a moment, he moved his hands down to your thighs giving them a gentle squeeze before lifting you up and placing you on the large vanity nearby.

Sloppy kisses and hands exploring each other already had you reeling in anticipation, your whines getting needier by the second. "Can I touch you sweetheart? I need to feel you wrapped around my fingers." The most drunken sounding yes escaped your mouth as his hands began to make their way down your thighs to your knees before traveling back up to your hips, squeezing and massaging them. His thumbs slipped under the top of your jeans, a light tug asking your permission, before taking them off of you fully. He reveled at the sight of your lower half exposed to him, licking his lips at the glistening cunt that sat before him just waiting to be devoured. Taking his shirt off, he stepped closer to you placing suckling kisses from your jaw to your shoulder and back again, all while slipping one of his fingers into your tight hole. You gasped at the intrusion, your eyes shutting at the feeling, already so close to your release. "Fuck baby, when's the last time anyone fucked this pretty little cunt of yours? You're so fucking tight for me."

Oh, he was going to ruin you for anyone else after this. Make you fit him perfectly molding your cunt to him and only him. You were perfect, you just didn't know it yet. "I, ah fuck - i.." He slipped in a second finger as you were trying to answer him to the best of your ability. "Fuuuckkk Yeo, shit, I've only ever done this twice, wrong person. Fuck please don't stop." That was it. He was determined to be the right person, the only person from here on out. "Fuck, sweet girl just waiting for me to claim you weren't you?" He slipped in a third finger, pumping it fast and hard hitting the perfect spot to make you unravel for him. Adding his thumb to the mix, tracing slow circles around your clit as his fingers pumped into you mercilessly, drove you over the edge. "Fuuck yes, yes, God yes, Yeo, make me yours." Your legs clamping together as you surrendered to your pleasure, your chest rising and falling rapidly. He slowed his pave as you rode out your high, removing his fingers to bring them to his mouth, sucking your sweet juices off them. "Shit you taste fucking delicious baby. Think you can come for me one more time before I fuck you sweetheart? You're already being such a good girl for me." You were already a mess, your mind wondering around itself in pure bliss, your previous times being nothing compared to the pleasure Yeosang just gave you using only his fingers. "Yes please, want you to taste me, all for you." You mumbled out, eyes barley open. "Such a pretty doll, so polite even being all fucked out already."

Pulling up a chair, he sat himself right infront of your soaked pussy, grabbing your thighs to hold you in place as he licked painfully slow up your folds. Your legs already trying to clamp together, still barely recovered from your previous orgasm. "Stay still precious. I want to enjoy my meal." You tried you best to follow his directions, but when his tongue made it's way deep inside you, your back arched, hips bucking up into him as your head fell back into the mirror. "I said be still princess, wouldn't want you hurting yourself, or getting hurt because you aren't listening." He emphasized his words with a hard press of his thumb to your clit. You didn't dare move but the cry you let out was all in vain as he was now rubbing harsh circles against your overly sensitive nub to hear you cry for him over and over again. You were so close to exploding under him your hands gripping the edge of the vanity for dear life. A few more harsh rubs as his tongue worked your walls strategically and you were done for. Your vision went white, stars floating around your eyes as you felt warmth flood your thighs dripping down your ass. Yeosang relentlessly lapping up every drop he could, circling your clit faster to prolong your release as long as possible.

What neither of you expected was at that very moment, was the door opening, revealing the rest of the members of Ateez standing there, mouths agape. "Shit. Uh." You struggled to straighten yourself up so you weren't on full display to the entire group but Yeosang wouldn't let you move. "Isn't she beautiful? So good for me too. I'm more soaked now than I was on stage." He looked towards the men who still hadn't moved an inch. San was the first to break the silence. "She's fucking gorgeous Yeo." The rest if the men nodded in agreement. "Oh don't I know it. Now before you all go getting any ideas, I'm going to stop that shit right now." He shot them all warning glares. Then he turned to look at you, "Princess will you please turn around for me?" His voice was even lower now, and you were in a trance. Obeying the blonde haired man you moved yourself off of the vanity trying to steady your shaking legs as you turned to face the mirror. "Good girl, now keep your eyes on yourself baby okay? I want you to see how beautiful you look when I fuck you." You shivered at his words, goosebumps spreading down your spine.

Yeosang deadpanned the group of men who were all breathing heavily at the sight before them. "Now I won't make you leave this time because I want you to listen very carefully got it?" The men all nodded, a few of them already palming their length through their pants. You heard Yeosangs belt coming undone, shortly after he was behind you one hand on your hip and the other rubbing his member up and down your sopping cunt collecting your slick before slowly pushing his thick long member inside you inch by inch. "Fuck Yeo, feel ssoo good" You're eyes rolled back as he fully sheathed himself inside. "So fucking tight for me baby, fit me perfectly." He pulled out until his tip was all that was left before thrusting into you with a quick snap. Keeping your eyes fixed on the mirror like you were told you let out a cry gasping at the painful pleasure of each harsh thrust. "FUCK AAHHH all for you, it's just for you!" Tears starting to form in the corners of your eyes as he continued to ram into you brutally, hitting all the right spots. He turned his attention to the men who most of which were now jerking themselves in their pants unable to control their need in the moment.

"I hope you all heard that. She's mine. There will be no fucking sharing so I hope you all get your fix this time, cause it will not happen again." He landed a rather hard smack to your ass as emphasis before pulling you upright by your hair. "Look at this baby, their all so needy for you. So beautiful infront of them. Too bad you're all for me. Isn't that right darling?" You were sobbing at this point your brain was no longer in control you'd fully surrendered to pleasure. To the pleasure Yeosang provided. "R-ri-right Yeo. Only - only yours, please, f-fuck- please Yeo..." You weren't fully sure why you were begging you just knew you were fucking close to snapping, your body ready to come undone for the third time tonight. Yeosang was kind enough to give you what you needed, pulling your back flush against his chest, his hand wrapped around your throat as he leaned in to suck on the dip of your neck, his other hand snaking it's way down to your pretty little clit. Speeding up his pace becoming more sloppy with each thrust he pulled away from your neck with a pop, the purple mark prominent only making him more eager. "I need you to tell me where you want me darling, I'm close." You barely registered his words, on the edge of your own high. "Inside, please Yeosang I need you inside of me, make me yours, please please" Coming undone as you begged him to do the same, your vision going white yet again, your body loosing its hold on itself. If it weren't for Yeosang holding you against him you definitely would've fallen. At the sound of your pleas, and the feeling of your walls spasming around him, the warm spray of your release coating his thighs and everything near by, his hips studdered deep into you his hot ropes of cum spurting all over your walls. Coming down from his own high he gave a few more shallow thrusts before pulling out of you completely.

Addressing the others in the room Yeosang said, "Now that you've all had your fun I suggest you go clean up and change. Before you do just know that we will not be speaking a word of this moving forward. And if she so chooses, she will be coming back with me." Moving quickly to kick the men out of the dressing room and lock the door, Yeosang made his way back to you to help you to the couch on the other side of the room. He gently helped you lay down making sure you were as comfortable as possible. "You did so good for me baby. Let me help you clean up and once your feeling good enough we can go to my hotel room and talk for as long as you'd like. Does that sound good?" You nodded a blissful smile painting your face.

As Yeosang went to find a towel to clean the two of you up, you recalled what he'd said to the group before kicking them out. "Yeo?" You called out to him. "Yes, darling?" He replied as his made his way back to you with a fresh towel and some water. "Did you mean what you said to them about bringing me home with you?" You asked him shyly. He'd seen you naked, hell, you just squinted on him twice, but the thought that he might want something more than that made your stomach flutter. He gently wiped away what he could before helping you with your clothing. "Of course I did. I don't say things. I don't mean beautiful. But it's your decision on if you want to come with me or not." It was almost instantly that replied, "I'd love to."

[gisellecnz]

Hello everyone, I just want to confess something... I just felt like I did the most worst crime ever. (I'm sorry if how I'm writing this whole thing looks immature? and also on how I've been using wrong words to use. 😭) And it is something I want to start avoiding from now on.

As you can see, I am a minor. Yes a minor, probably way younger than you think... 😭 (but not too young though. I just don't want to tell my actual age.) (And also please continue reading before you do anything)

Ever since pandemic, its where people have been quarantined inside their homes for like, 2-3 years, right? And because of that most people do then was just be on their phones all the time.

I also did that–and now I've been exposed and influenced to a lot of things especially on social media. (I had unrestricted internet access ever since I was a kid)

I currently think about it a lot of times now, and it's actually so bad about how I got exposed by a bunch of things...even though I was so young. (like dirty jokes, etc.) And I think I have grown up way too fast... You can see it in how I typed in my other posts, and it's now how I naturally type. 😭

(Okay, I don't know how to explain this part well... Generally, I'm very bad at explaining. But I hope you guys somehow understand 😭. ) (Please ask me questions if there are things you don't quite understand, I don't really elaborate well when it comes to these stuff)

That was also the time i grew an obsession over anime. And I also had crushes on anime characters to the point I figured out people wrote fics about them. Like, "[character name] x reader" and then boom I figured about smut.. Pls 😭 I really didn't care about the "mdni" warning back then. (I don't know if I'm using this term right, but it's something like I got hypersexual? I'm sorry, but I think it's just something similar to that.)

And now I've become a writer as my hobby, I downloaded tumblr almost a year ago so that I could post my works and also read others fics.

And ever since yesterday i had realized something 😭. And I am so sorry about my behavior on this. Even though I'm not in the right age yet, I still readed smut. And smut is like.. Considered porn right? And most of the authors I follow, or people ive talked to in tumblr are like around 19+. Others are even in college and have their own jobs too. And one of my favorite authors is like 12 years older than me. And some authors I follow also write smut. I also ignored mdni parts in their works. 😭

So this is basically what happened (because I am very bad at explaining so I just put it like in a story way):

I am a minor who reads smut, which are only intended for adults. I knew it wasn't appropriate for me but I just brushed it off.

And then one day when I realized I was talking to older people, something clicked in my mind 😭. They are ADULTS. They are in the appropriate age to read smut. (I mean, of course, but I just brushed it off back then.) Then they had "mdni" in their bio. So, that realization made me uncomfy 😭. It's like I made a really huge crime. And I've also become an author on this app, I can't just go on without telling the truth. From now on I'll try to avoid reading smut. Guys it's basically like you're an toddler who suddenly gained consciousness

Again, I am very very sorry for just brushing off the mdni back then 😭. But I'll still continue to read the sfw ones only.

To the other authors there who write sfw and nsfw, please I promise you that I will only read the safe ones now and not the nsfw anymore. 😔 

But it is definitely okay if you want to block me. Thank you for reading this whole explanation! I've learn my lesson now 😭

I just readed this whole thing again and I realized how messy it looked... But either way I can't change it because its the most best way I explained this 😔

[ceilidho]

Hey! I think youre an amazing writer and i really look up to you. Ive been reading your works since reylo, you inspired me to write my own reylo stuff. I think youre wonderful and could read your works over and over again. I was just wondering if I could ask you advice. I'm trying to get into writing second person pov fanfic, but I'm terrible at it. I can write it from third person or first person no problem. I was wondering if you had any tips.

oh thank you, i really appreciate that!!! and im so glad you're giving writing a shot!! honestly it's so tough to actually make the decision to sit down and write something and then show it to other people (and it's very scary and kind of humbling as you get better and better and look back at your old work haha) so that's so awesome!!

i actually wrote so much beneath this so i needed the "read more" lmaooo

actually, i'll tell you what, when you first transition from writing 1st or 3rd person to writing in 2nd person, it feels weird and abnormal, but i've actually grown to love 2nd pov. i just love the way it sounds in my head when i'm constructing a sentence. and tbh there's actually not a huge difference from writing 1st and 2nd pov in my opinion.

like my general thoughts around 2nd pov are:

obviously since it's an internal dialogue (like the perspective is rooted in the person you're writing from rather than some omniscient 3rd pov), while you can still describe what's happening on the main character's face ("you purse your lips" "you frown, annoyed" etc), it's still coming from their perspective, so there's a level of depth there that other characters around them don't have. like Price in my western fic is a bit more mysterious on account of him not being a narrator figure in the story.

if you're using 2nd pov because you're writing an x reader fic, and you want to keep your reader character quite neutral, ensure that you're avoiding big descriptors like skin colour, hair texture/length, body size (unless you're specifically writing a fat reader or a reader with a specific body type, in which case, go wild!), height, etc. your reader character is never going to be 100% neutral, but just pay attention to any descriptors you add and you can make sure they're as neutral as can be.

this is probably obvious, but you don't have to start every sentence with "you did x" or "you said y" or whatever. you can still be loose and flexible with your sentences like you might be in a 3rd person narration. like, i'll take apart a paragraph from my fic and highlight where i've added the "you/your" pov:

The worry making your body tense and stiff finally releases once you’re alone. You curl up on the bed without pulling down the sheets or taking your dress off. The journey's left you weak, sapped of energy. Worn down to your base elements. Hardly unexpected after what you’ve gone through, after leaving behind a cooling body two states away. The days since have left you sick with worry, nerves shot when you consider how the authorities will look to you first, the maid, and find in your absence all the answers they need. 

notice that i only started one sentence with "you" here. i think some people mistake using 2nd pov for thinking that the entire story/fic has to be a direct narration of what the character is doing (i.e. "you walk to the end of the hall and then you sit down. you notice a silver bullet on the table near you. you pick it up.") but that's not the case.

the narration is coming from this character, yes, but it's also still a story. this is hard to describe, but there's almost a weird, unconscious 3rd pov in the story at the same time, like you're looking down at this narrator and you're speaking through them, but you still have some externality. in order to tell an evocative, interesting story, you HAVE to know and notice at least a bit more than your narrator consciously does.

this kind of mirrors real life in a way actually because your brain picks up a lot of information that you as a person don't consciously absorb. it's why humans are able to have quick reflexes and dodge/duck things or whatever without realizing what they're doing. (look up "unconscious perception"). you can do this with 1st pov as well, but 1st pov is very useful for stream of consciousness stories or really getting into a character's head. 2nd pov is still governed by that narrator character, but it's picking up on other details and information in the surrounding environment.

anyway i hope this is in any way helpful haha - it's how i like to think of writing in 2nd pov!

[3416]

If I were to hypothetically write a Hanahaki disease AU for 1634 who should I hypothetically be torturing with unrequited (definitely 100% requited) love?

Should the flower be a symbol of their love? Or the other one’s favourite?

I definitely know it will have a happy ending because I can’t physically put myself through writing something that doesn’t eventually have a happy ending.

(Also would anyone read it? There are 0 fics about it so I want to take it upon myself to make one)

i'm gonna answer this under a cut with my thoughts flkdsjf

okay, i lowkey forgot that was even a thing. it's been YEARS since i read it, BUT my first thought was it should obviously be maple leaves they cough up, just for funsies. and i do think people would read it!! though i know the fandom for this branch of hrpf is smaller than i'd like, i still think you'd get some feedback if you're on ao3!! i keep trying to think how to get some writers back into this, but i feel like the best way to attract ppl is to do the writing yourself... i haven't been able to force myself to sit down and write for some time so KUDOS TO YOU!!

as for who should be tortured with the unrequited love.... after reading a lot of 1634 fics (mostly from the 2016-2019 era bc that's when it was booming for them apparently), a LOT of people have this idea of mitch being the one more comfortable in his sexuality/pining after auston/maybe oblivious to his own feelings abt auston specifically but knowing he's gay.... but i think the opposite way is a bit more fun, imo. mitch is someone that's grown up in this very boys-focused culture and it's in his nature to glom onto guys and show them physical affection and the idea of him trying to fit into expectations of him... dating girls... doing everything the right™ way bc of how he was raised and criticized growing up... not fully letting himself deviate from the norm bc he does have the boys to lean on when it comes to hockey... is fascinating. with auston... he's always done things a little less conventionally... from the fashion choices and his opinions changing on that overtime to playing pro in a foreign country before joining the nhl to even being from arizona ... idk. the idea of him recognizing his own sexuality and figuring it out privately is more believable of the two to me. developing/having feelings for this guy who's been by his side since he was a teenager.. the loyalty and trust there would be so important to auston, who strikes me as someone that rlly plays his own emotions and private life close to his chest. like... plus auston's not really quiet abt HOW much he loves mitch so that angle rings very true to me. anyway... those are my thoughts on that personal dynamic. i think it'd be easy for auston to look at mitch, who is endearing to everyone on the team and likes to 'keep the boys together' as auston says, and see the way he interacts w other guys in that boundlessly joyful way and feel like it was unrequited. BUT. then again, it could go anyway since it's just fic... i just personally could do with more pining auston in my life, since a lot of popular fics from the olden days do the opposite. AND auston coughing up maple leafs (even tho he himself is a leaf... it would represent that hometown love mitch has had for them anyway) would make sense that way too.

i wish you the best of luck in writing it though!! it'd be interesting no matter what you do. i think all the hanahaki stuff ive read in the past is a very cutesy take on it, but rereading about it now is so.. almost gruesome/bleak. like... DAMN. anyway, no matter what you do, i'm sure it will be interesting and good!! sending you lots of productive vibes. i'm always down to talk about them lol.

[winderlylandchime]

I take back what I said yesterday while I still obviously feel bad about him for when he will find out about the finale (after all: been there and still not over it) I take back about feeling bad for showing him the show. He was in a horrible mood this morning. And i mean horrible. He drank 3 coffees to try and cheer himself up. And he was already smoking outside when I woke up (which in a way should’ve been a sign for me but I’m dumb). And he was all snappy and sarcastic and just overall annoying. So I left him alone and then while I was on a break from work, he barged into my office and went ‘I HAD A HORRIBLE DREAM. HORRIBLE! So if you felt the earth shift and shake in any way, that was my fault because I dropped the *makes a fist* ally ball HEAVILY. I apologize to your entire gang of gays, hope you guys can forgive me’ and then he just left. And when I finally got around to ask him…y’all. i am officially done with this man. He dreamt (his actual word was night terror bc of course he had to be dramatic) that Britin broke up and Justin left to some other state to be all artsy (I actually had to bite my lip here to keep a poker face ngl) and Brian was working on making Kinnetik larger and more successful and he already had a company in LA and chicago and he was working on NYC (or something like that). And then he stopped and looked at me, put his hands in his hair making it all crazy (please imagine sitting down, drinking coffee and a grown man in a Team Brian shirt losing his mind) and then he just yelled ‘YEAAAAARSSSSS!’ And then he left the room and immediately came back and went ‘years went by! YEARS! As in plural! As in more than ONE! Before they saw each other again! YEAAAAARSSSSSS’ and then he left the room again. So after begging him to yell me more it turns out the dream (sorry, night terror) was that years went by since Britin saw each other after they broke up and then randomly Brian bumped into Justin in a random bar in some other city (he thinks NY or LA but isnt sure) and when he saw Justin, he was all sad and broken and shocked (think 2x01 bar scene). And when Justin finally spotted him he was also freaked out. And then according to him someone pushed past Brian to get to Justin and this person kissed him and when he turned around it was….Ethan.

Ngl I was on the edge of the seat waiting for him to continue his dream fanfic but he just looked at me and went ‘IVE BEEN UP SINCE 5.30 AM!(i found him at 9) I woke up so fucking fast when I saw that fucking banjo player, i felt like someone electrocuted me’ And then he spent all day while I was working talking to my neighbor and telling her about the dream and the show, asking what she thinks the dream could mean (as in if he is psychic (his actual words)) and genuinely asking her ‘if she thinks, if he went back to sleep and tried really really really hard, that if he could continue where he left off to fix it.’ This man is having a full meltdown over a fanfiction he made up while sleeping. Keep in mind, that I actually don’t think he knows about fanfiction or at least doesn’t fully know what it is. And yet here he is being a full time writer in his sleep. (Also i am sending you updates for 4x09 and 4x10 as we speak)

Dear sweet anon… not only is your brother dreaming fanfiction but he’s dreaming a plot eerily similar to my exes-to-lovers fic. Also he kind of dreamt (sorry night terrored) the finale…? Kind of.

I also love that he thinks this dream (sorry, night terror) makes him a bad ally. Like dreaming about queer people breaking up is not actually homophobic?

[br1ghtestlight]

i know you didn’t rb it, but i wanted to send you some fanfic writer asks anyway (if you want to do them!!) how about - 3, 4, 18, 19? 💖

AWWW this is so sweet thank you!! of course!!! <3

3. what’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?

i feel like it would be a lie to say anything other than my genderfluid gene fanfiction just bcuz i spent a ridiculous amount of time on it and still reread it somewhat frequently lol but other than that im also proud of the fanfiction i wrote abt bob's mom and her death :) very interesting themes to explore and i liked writing the childhood flashbacks

4. how many wips do you have right now?

there are so many i couldn't even count them all probably at least 30+ but for fanfictions im actively working on or TRYING to work on uhh maybe like 5 or 6 depends on the day. always starting new ideas

18. what’s one of your favorite lines you’ve written in a fic?

i definitely dont remember every line of dialogue ive ever written so i might be forgetting something but i really like linda talking to louise abt consent as a toddler ("Louise, I promise that we will NEVER try to steal your bunny ears, or tell you to take them off and not give them back to you afterwards. Not ever. We know that you love your bunny ears, and I made 'em special for you. Even if you're the baddest, meanest girl in the whole world, those bunny ears belong to you. They'll always be yours. Nobody is ever allowed to take them off without your permission, except for you. Not even Mommy or Daddy is allowed to do that.") and tina telling zeke that she'll always be there for him ("I'll be here for you no matter how scary it gets," Tina whispered.)

19. give us a small teaser from one of your wips

not sure if this counts as small but it doesn't make sense without the full context i dont think?? not even sure if im ever going to finish this one but its cute. it isnt from my tina x jimmy jr childhood friends to lovers fanfic btw this is just a silly sleepover fic i was writing

Jimmy Junior looked at Tina as she talked. She was wearing purple horse pajamas and he thought that they looked cool. "Do you want me to paint your nails?"

He had to have zoned out of their conversation, because he had no idea what was going on but Zeke was looking at Tina like everything she was saying made perfect sense. He had a goofy smile.

"Hell yeah! I want you use black for mine, and give 'em red and orange flames comin' off my fingers. That'll look cool as hell."

"What about you, Jimmy Junior?" Tina asked.

Tina was never cruel to him. She'd never teased him for his lisp or said that his dancing was stupid and annoying, even when they were fighting and she had every reason to be insulting to him. He wasn't always an amazing friend to her and he hadn't said enough how much he appreciated that she'd been there for him since preschool. They'd grown up together. Tina had been around when his younger brothers were born, and when his parents got their divorce finalized and he couldn't stop crying during school. They'd played together on the playground and shared their first kiss at her thirteenth birthday party, and through everything Jimmy Junior always knew that Tina loved him and had a good heart. Better than his.

He still couldn't help but pause for a second and try to figure out if she was trying to embarrass him or make a mockery of him somehow. Nobody had ever asked to paint his nails before, and he'd honestly considered makeup something that was completely forbidden. It was condemned only to his mother's bathroom cabinet and taken out when she was going on a date with somebody she wanted to impress. He wasn't ALLOWED to wear makeup.

[youngpettyqueen]

Also since I didn't send one last time, anything about it's not chicken soup, but it's good for the soul!

YES I love a double ask I love it so much and I love to think about this particular fic

ok I wanna ramble about a particular sequence in relation to my particular writing style-

"“If you don’t kiss my forehead before you leave,” Hawkeye says, seriously, “Then I’m going to have a fit.”

Trapper snorts, raising a brow at him. “That right?” He asks. Hawkeye nods, still with that oh-so-serious look on his face, so he just smiles and pushes his hair aside again, “Alright, c’mere…”

He leans down and drops the requested kiss onto Hawkeye’s forehead. Then, for good measure, he also drops one on the bridge of his nose. He pulls away and hovers for a moment, savouring the sight of Hawkeye’s giddy little smile.

Cute. He thinks, again.

“Alright, I really gotta go,” Trapper says, even though he takes a quick second to press one last kiss in the space between Hawkeye’s brows. When he pulls back this time he gets up, collects the bowl, and turns to Hawkeye to tell him, “Send Radar my way if ya need anything. I’ll be back with your lunch in a few hours.”"

so a fun fact about me is that I am a romance writer (I am actively working on a romance novel which is on its third draft) and this fic was a fun exercise in writing domestic fluffy romance which is not my usual type of romance writing! I usually only write domestic fluffy romance with like, DND and writing stuff with mine and my friend's characters, so doing this in fanfic is overall fairly new to me. this particular exchange between these two was one of the main points of writing this fic- as ive said with this one it was written to make me feel better while I was absolutely miserable with covid, and few things cheer me up quite like straight up FLUFF

Hawkeye and Trapper really suit this fluffy domesticity for me because I dont read either of them as being particularly repressed. Hawkeye cant hide his feelings to save his life and Trapper really doesnt seem to ever try to hide how he feels. as a result these two are easy to write being fairly open (as open as the time and place will allow, at least) and very domestic and, well, cute. of course Trapper's gonna give him a kiss on the forehead, and then, even though he doesnt have to, he's gonna give him a couple more. and of course Hawkeye's not gonna hesitate to ask! theyre open with each other, theyre comfortable with each other- this is all canon, its just easy and convenient for me to use that in my Piercentyre agenda ksdjskjdha

speaking as someone who doesnt write straight up fluff very often, this was a very fun exercise in it. it flowed really naturally, it makes me want to write more of it, and it let me practice a style I admittedly dont practice as often. I definitely want to write more things like this, things that are sickly sweet and fluffy, and im definitely hoping to do more of it with Piercentyre specifically. writing them has reallyyyyyyy grown on me, I always liked them as a pairing but after rewatching the early seasons ive fallen even more in love with them

all this said the WIP I have for them currently is very much not all sweet domestic fluff and does in fact involve quite a bit of angst but honestly I might shove some sweet tooth-rotting fluff in there cause its just so damn fun to write. who knows, not me, I dont even have an outline for the damn thing fskjdfhskj

[sinsandsweetness]

first of all i’m obsessed with ur writing omg💘💘 i have post notifs on and everything!! i’m curious how long you’ve been writing, i have something i’m working on but i’m worried it’s not good enough to post or that nobody will even see it or care🫢🫢

also so excited for pt 5 of pick your poison. you are the BEST

Thank you sweetheart! That means a lot to me <3

I’ve been writing in general for a really long time but I’d say I only really started like, “grown up” writing (lol) about 2 years ago? And looking back I don’t even really love anything I wrote from then. I feel ive found my style in the last year and everything before that feels flat.

I only started really enjoying my writing in like november/december of 2022. I started posting in January on ao3 and then here on Tumblr in April:) So I’m still fairly new I’d say.

That being said, I think you should post it! As long as it’s something you like, that’s all that matters. When I started writing it was definitely for me. It’s been a way for me to jot down my excessive daydreaming and escapism from some tough life things.

Don’t be afraid of your work not being good enough or getting low interactions. There is only one way to get better at something and that is to practice. If you like what you wrote, and you’re proud of it, I say post it. If you want feedback, ask for it, and be open and receptive to constructive comments and criticism.

And if you’re really worried about no one seeing, tag your stuff! If it’s twd related, I think the fandoms pretty active rn especially with the Daryl Dixon spin-off coming out rn. Interact with other accounts and comment lots on their fics that you enjoy. It’s a good way to find other writers and feel inspired and gain advice and even potentially some exposure through reblogs and such:)

Be confident in yourself, baby. And thank you so much for the kind words. Have fun writing 💗🫶

[sonwar]

hello!! i would like to first preface that i'm a fan of your writing (ao3 user sonwar) from your kpop works (namely the seokhoon (seventeen) titled 'do you know my heart? (i can't be without you)' in 2020. and if i remembered you wrongly, and you have in fact never heard of this fic or the kpop group before please feel free to delete this ask i apologise deeply aaaaa (whoops ahahaaa im sorry if that's the case)

today. as one does, i was thinking of this fic: its definitely one of the bigger fics the seokhoon tag has seen, and also one of those fics which leave a kind of Impact. even as i ponder seokhoon today as a writer myself, i find so many of the symbols and metaphors i use in my writing to have come from that fic. (if you remember) the ideas of jihoon admiring seokmin's singing & calling him the best singer—i took that and i turned it into a kind of how jihoon's music has been made real vs seokmin's which comes more as instinct—and jihoon, who is in awe of this. and of course seokmin thinking about jihoon all the time—that's something that i genuinely hold so close to my heart. it's so sweet and just soooo seokmin. aaaaaa

your writing there has such a tender and sweet quality to it that ive been striving to achieve—emotion comes across in a way that is. muted (i mean this positively). i feel comfortable reading it because it never feels shocking everything just feels so natural. those 33k words are a source of comfort. i love and value growth in characters/the progression of time in fic, and oh man!!!! you really show the emotional growth of seokhoon so incredibly well in that fic. its so good to me. it feels so alive because of the references you made but also because of how you wrote them. to create life!!! it's so incredible because. its all just so rich and perfect and good and i'm so grateful that ive been able to read this and have it affect me on such a level. my comment on that fic does nothing to live up to what i actually thought of it and now even if i cant convey my appreciation on the fic comments itself, i tried to find another way to reach out to you (hence, this lengthy anon ask)

feel free to ignore this/not reply!!! i understand that you've orphaned the seokhoons for a reason but in a way i just really wanted to let you know that your writing has made me feel so much. and for that! i am so grateful!! thank you again and so much for all of it.

hi anon! you have me right, i am responsible for do you know my heart (as well as "when i'm with you i bloom" and "i'm dying to be taken apart" in case you were looking for me...) i had sort of decided i was going to keep my kpop fandom side off tumblr, since i have found it to be sort of unwelcoming towards kpop, for whatever reason? but your message was so touching i'm throwing that out the window and doing whatever i want anyway! (more under the cut <3)

Letting you know off the bat that your message made me! incredibly emotional and teary eyed! Thank you very much for your kind words, you really can't know how much it means to me, and I'm so glad you reached out to me this way as well! I genuinely got so excited when I read your ask, I'm always happy to talk fics and even more happy to talk seokhoon, as I don't have many people to discuss them with! So thank you! The reason why I orphaned my old fics is...probably a lot more simple than what you might be thinking? The truth is, after posting those three seokhoon fics (which I wrote in pretty quick succession to each other), I went about two years without writing anything at all because I didn't have the bandwidth for it, and then I wrote The Mystery of The Pears in some kind of fugue state over the course of a couple months, and when I read that back to myself I felt that my writing had grown so much, I didn't really want that writing to be associated with my writing of a few years ago. But, to be honest, I re-read my Seokhoon fics again a few weeks ago and found that I enjoyed them much more than I thought I would, and much more than I did when I first wrote them, so I wonder if it's less that my writing has grown and maybe more that I've learned to be kinder towards myself...that'll teach me to orphan fics without completely thinking it through first, I guess. (that being said! i'd like you to know i am still planning on writing more seokhoon! seventeen is very near and dear to my heart, like. i really can't put into words the love i have for those boys, which is to say that i'll probably be a carat for as long as they're seventeen, and maybe even a little longer than that. plus, i feel personally tasked with bringing more seokhoon into the world, so, you know. currently, i'm really trying to finish a seokhoon fic i promised a friend MONTHS ago, even before tmotp was finished, and then i have about...3? seokhoon wips i've started and would like to finish? whether they all get done is to be seen, but hopefully!) Anyway...I have to say, I really love the way you took my little headcanon about Jihoon admiring Seokmin's singing and devolped it further! It's something I think a lot about, too, I think it's so interesting that, objectively, Seokmin has a much wider range and capacity as a singer, but that ever since Jihoon was a trainee he's been told he "already knows how to sing" and "doesn't need singing lessons." It makes me wonder how Jihoon approaches singing, if it's something that he considers more physical, like a muscle that he can control, rather than something emotional, which I think might be closer to how Seokmin approaches singing. I mention this because, considering that Jihoon is also the one making guides for the others to follow and the one directing them in the recording booth, I'm a litte curious about how those different approaches meet together in a more practical way, if that makes sense. I do still think it's something Jihoon would admire and think about a lot if only because it would be so different from his own approach. I also have some theories about certain songs in their discography being written specifically for Seokmin's voice (Same Dream Same Mind Same Night immediately comes to mind, I really think out of all their songs, that's the one that showcases the style Seokmin's voice is suited to the most and he really shines on that song...)

I am of the belief that Seokmin would have been watching Jihoon a lot longer than Jihoon would have been watching him...something about admiration that shifts and changes the closer you get to it...And I don't think Seokmin knows how to not take care of people, it's just who he is, but I also think that feeling is heightened a little bit with Jihoon specifically, who takes on a lot of responsibility without ever complaining about it, and who describes himself as someone who deals with things on his own. I think (and I've seen him) he would try to find ways to make things easier for Jihoon without him having to ask for it first, so that's where that comes from. I think muted is one of the sweetest ways anyone has described the way I write emotions. I like the idea of emotions that come easily and gradually, like. Slow drip love rather than sudden and all-consuming (and, that way, when trying to convey something that is bigger and overwhelming, it's easier to contrast those two emotions against each other), so thank you very much for that. I also think it's very funny you mention the way I wrote the progression of Seokhoon in that fic because, while I find your words incredibly kind and I'm so happy to hear you enjoyed it, and I can still sort of see why I wrote that fic the way I did, I do sometimes consider sort of re-writing a different version of that fic because I'm so sure I could do it better now...nowadays, I think the timeline would be a little different? Idk. Something for future me to consider... Anyway! Thank you, again, for such a lovely ask, I really am so very thankful, and I'm so glad you enjoyed my Seokhoon. Please feel free to message me whenever you'd like! (I'm also on twt! I only use tumblr on browser so I only log on when I'm using my laptop, but I'm a lot more active on twt.) Also, if you ever post your fics or already have, please let me know! I'd love to read them, and I'm always looking for more Seokhoon fics, since there's so very little of them to go around, as I'm sure you know...

[altruistic-meme]

3,7 and 29 for the fic writers ask! :]]

hi sappho darling!!

3. Is there a trope you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole?

the only one that i know of that i would for sure never touch is the uhhhh "sex pollen" thing?? ive literally never even seen it but it's supposedly one of the "well-known" tropes or aus or whatever and i just. don't get it. i don't understand the concept of it. i don't understand the point or interest. absolutely a no from me.

i also would probably never write a cheating fic. but i only say probably bc thought i would never read one and then i did and it FUCKED me UP (positive) and i still think about it bc holy shit

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Wilhelm took a deep breath, closed his eyes, leaned against a desk. He thought of how terrible an idea this was, how he had once again been being so selfish, how he hadn’t considered that his own freedom may cost the freedom he had tried so hard to guarantee Simon. And then he looked at Simon. And he fell in love. He fell in love with his curly hair, with his brown eyes, with the scar on his cheek, with the way he kept looking at Wilhelm and how it felt like he was seeing him, with the way his lips parted as he let out a steadying breath, with the small smile that he was giving him.  And it didn’t hurt. Falling in love with Simon didn’t hurt the way that falling in love with the sky, and with the way his coffee tasted, and with the people on the street had for the last seven years. Falling in love with Simon now felt exactly as it had the first time: freeing. This love was the most freeing thing that Wilhelm had ever felt, and he remembered why he had refused to ever let it go. Because he deserved to love freely, but the only love that had ever felt free had been the half of his love that he had given to the curly-haired boy, now a man, named Simon that he had once fallen in love with seven years ago, and was now falling in love with again. So maybe it was selfish, and maybe it was cruel, and it would definitely hurt, but Wilhelm could only be free if he said it, so he started talking. 

okay so if it wouldn't be ridiculous of me i would simply give the entirety of LVOE. because that whole story i tried to write more as prose and i love it so much. even this section is pretty... long for a snippet but i couldn't cut any of it off bc it's just so. AAAAAA.

i chose this specific area because it i think it's a very beautiful way to tie up the fic and i am so so proud of it!! of how it turned out and the ways it connects with other aspects of the story while still standing on its own: the war within Wilhelm about love vs. hurt and are they the same thing or are they consequences of each other, how painful falling in love has been since he and simon broke up but how he has kept doing it with everything anyway because Wilhelm is simply so full of love that it bleeds into everything he does, how his first taste of freedom felt like his last. as well as pulling back lines that repeated throughout the fic, "And every day, Wilhelm fell in love all over again. With the sky, with the way his coffee tasted, with the people on the street. And then one day, with a curly-haired boy named Simon." and changing them as he feels love truly without pain for the first time in seven years. and!!! also!!! including the ways Wilhelm grew in those seven years as well, how he hesitates and almost doesn't say what he came to say because he understands how selfish it was of him to come. but it also includes Simon's own growth, very subtley, because he is more sure of himself than he used to be. even though Wilhelm's thoughts tell that he's afraid of hurting Simon, Simon is SMILING SOFTLY at him because Simon has also grown up and he has long-since forgiven Wilhelm because he has learned to see his side of it, too.

WELL THAT WAS. MORE OF AN ANALYSIS BUT SIDHFKSDH yeah im proud of all of that though. im so proud of myself for being able to put all of that subtlety into it, all of these small details that still showcase big emotions. i'll stop rambling about this now sdkgfsdk

29. If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

this is going to be INCREDIBLY out of left field ksghsdhg bUT there is a yuri!!! on ice fic, "Behind these Locked Doors" that i read forever ago. i don't think i ever.... actually finished reading the fic, i think i fell out of the fandom enough to stop keeping up before it completed. but from the last thing i remember of it, i would maybe consider writing a oneshot sequel to it that follows Victor and Yuuri after they escape, and has maybe a moment where one of them has a breakdown remembering what they experienced and the other works them through it. idk. like i said i haven't read it in years so details are so fuzzy. but. yeah!!! as i was trying to think what i would do, this story popped into my head so :]

[ writer ask game ]

[sociallyawkward--fics]

HEY BACK AGAIN. idk how long its been cuz mobile is trash but me n my friend were talking abt how we were in a lot of the same fandom spaces as kids. Sanders sides being one of them. n i was like..... Long shot but do u know sociallyawkward--fics.. n at first they were like no i dont think so.. but then they looked u up n went OH MY GOD YEA??? ill send u a screenshot off anon but i told them we were friends n they said it was like finding out i knew a celebrity LMAO -H (ironic considering theyre prob more popular on ao3 than u😭 they briefly turned back into a 12yo fanboy)

its still so crazy to me ive known u for so long n met him like 3-4 years ago worlds collide ..... Also u can post this though im off anon if u want idc -H

ALSO. since im here. idk if i ever told u my age but when i sent my first ask to u i was probably 11. maybe 10 even. im turning 18 in a couple months now. its hard to bring myself to read some of the asks (ok most of the asks) i sent u over the years bc i was an incredibly anxious and awkward autistic kid. But u always treated me with so much love hahakjs at the time i was rly struggling n had very few friends n AS MUCH AS IT MAKES ME CRINGE TO LOOK BACK ON u were honestly the only older person i could talk to n it rly meant a lot lol. im so much more confident n comfortable in myself than i was all those years ago n ik i dont send u asks nearly as frequently anymore but tbh even if eventually its only once every few years ill always think back on u so fondly n gratefully. Neway i literally hate being sappy so ill shut up here but yeah. Thanks n such -H

ALSO IDK IF UR ACTIVE ON AMY SOCIAL MEDIA RLY?? BUT IF U R I CAN GIVE U SOME OF MY SOCIALS mostly i just tweet abt my day occasionally on twitter but i also have a sideblog where i post art. just thinking that maybe then i wouldnt have to be like 'and heres a quick summary of the past 8 months' n u could check up on me whenever instead of only seeing me when i send asks😭 -H (its also so less formal cuz when i send in asks u Gotta respond whereas if i post 'just ate a kickass burger' u can just. Like it. idk idc either way but lmk ^__^)

-----------------------------------

I'VE BEEN MEANING TO ANSWER THESE FOR MONTHS SINCE I'VE BEEN USING TUMBLR AGAIN AND MY LACK OF OBJECT PERMANENCE HAD ME KEEP FORGETTING I AM SO SORRY 😭😭😭😭

dkjfhkdhf omg that is so wild that you have a friend who also knows about me dkjfhdsf Sanders Sides (back when it was waaaaay smaller of a fandom lol) was the first (and tbh only, really) fandom where i had any real level of "popularity" as a fic writer, and i fed off that high for SO LONG lol -- hearing that people were obsessed with my work, both then and now after the fact, is genuinely so surreal dfkjhdjkfh like. i am just Here, i am just Some Dude who wrote some words that got them weirdly popular at 17-18 dkjsfhdkjfh (also cuz i try to gather all your asks into one post, you continue to remain anonymous just cuz i copy-pasted them into the post in the same order they were received lol)

Dude it is CRAZY that you are almost 18 (or, by the time i am finally managing to answer this with my Bad Brain Powers procrastinating it so long, already 18) -- I looked back and I was 18 when you sent your first ever ask to me dkjfhdf that's so wild. I am so honored that you saw me as an older person you could come and talk to, even if it was just through anonymous tumblr asks for the past 6+ years lol. I always think of you fondly too, and I am so proud of you for the way you've grown up and grown into your confidence

ALSO YOU CAN TOTALLY SEND ME YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA djfdjdsjkf you can absolutely send me any of your socials!!! I know your main blog because you've sent some asks without it (have I ever remembered to follow it??? I meant to but I can't remember, this is also a Brain Forget-y Accidental Procrastination thing), but I would LOVE to see your art sideblog and def feel free to send me your twitter!! I have not opened my twitter in like. 3 months, because i was having Unhealthy Habits so i tucked the app into a pocket out of site and stopped using it for a while, but I am doing better now and would definitely open it back up more often again to see what you were up to

Also!!! You can always feel free to DM me on any of my blogs/sideblogs here on tumblr, too! You don't have to wait to send an ask (though I love receiving asks from you, don't ever feel like you have to stop even if we connect elsewhere!), you can always DM me on any of my blogs (or on any other socials we may exchange, too!)

[mystical-salamander]

First Lines Meme

Copy the first few lines of your last ten fics, note any fun observations, then tag a few more friends.

Thanks for tagging me @thatonegreyghost ! I'm gonna tag @checkmate-gargoyle and anyone else who wants to join in.

Unfortunately I don't have ten fics, but I do have five! From recent to oldest:

Up for a Dance? (kalluzeb fic. Currently still working on the second chapter. Kallus struggles to stay undercover as Zeb becomes the subject of an Imperial's affections.)

It had become increasingly difficult for Zeb and Alex to have any time together. The Ghost was sent off-planet for weeks at a time and they rarely had a moment to stay on base. It was a selfish desire he knew, after all, they were fighting a war, and they both knew there would have to be some sacrifices on their end for the Rebellion.

And this time was no different.

Ringing in my Head (kalluzeb fic based on a post I made a while back. Currently thinking of rewriting the two chapters already posted before continuing on with the rest. Kallus and Zeb are sent on a mission together. They have to deal with their rising feelings for each other and the resurgence of a certain weapon. )

She was hunched over her datapad to hide its traitorous blue lighting from the dark forest. She watched the bar slowly upload the information onto her datastick. 

Come on! Come on! Come on! DONE! 

She pocketed the datastick and smashed the datapad into a tree. She wiped away the blood that ran down her forehead before running off deeper into the forest. She held her blaster in her hands, her knuckles nearly going white. She needed to get to the rendezvous point. 

Day 4: Stranded on a Desert Planet (kalluzeb fic. The fastest I ever finished a fic– 2 days I think. Still really like it. Title explains the plot, but Kallus and Zeb get stranded on a desert planet and Zeb suffers from a heat stroke.)

It was kriffing hot.  

The thought repeated itself in Kallus' head for the millionth time. The former agent growled to himself as he stared into the endless golden landscape.

He sighed and looked over at the unconscious Lasat next to him. The rapid and shallow breathing Zeb produced made Kallus' insides twist horribly. The former agent leaned over to grab his jacket and fanned at the Lasat's sweltering body.

Bleeding Love (first kalluzeb fic. I don't love the intro to this, but I still reread the rest of the fic. Currently trying to plan out a sequel. Zeb gets captured by the Empire. Kallus decides to rescue him and leave the Empire before his cover as Fulcrum is blown.)

Stormtroopers gathered in the hundreds, their orderly groups waiting for the ship to arrive. Nowadays, with the Rebellion growing every day, it was uncommon for a mission to prove to be successful. Much less to exceed expectations. 

Kallus stood with the other officers at the hangar. News of a captured rebel was cause for stress for him. Not only would he have to report back to the Rebellion so they could extract their rebel, but he would also have to help with that rescue.

Endless Love That Owns Me (Tales of Arcadia/Wizards fic. My first fic, its old and not super terrible. I really wanted more Gunmar and Bular interactions, might write another fic focused on this evil father and son duo. Gunmar's thoughts and reaction after finding out that his son was captured by King Arthur. Lots of father and son thoughts and feels ensue.)

Gunmar wasn't worried, when the messenger arrived with the news that Bular was missing, he didn't get a sinking feeling, a lump didn't form in his throat, he didn't have to force himself to not immediately go searching for his son. He tried to deny every uneasy sensation that arose when those words were uttered. 

Bular was missing.

[aetherknit]

hi nobu -- first off i want to say that this feels like such a massive understatement but THANK you. this honestly made me tear up. i think we are all hurting for kindness a bit right now and something so unprovoked and heartfelt made my entire week so much brighter. you are the only anon i have who still signs off, and in a way, you are a familiar face to me too ❤️🫂 thank you for your kindness, always.

i also want to echo your sentiments about the creativity in this fandom; i have had far more articulate friends talk about how unique this fandom was in its ability to self-sustain -- every day i saw artists and writers creating, i was inspired soo often (even when i didnt have the energy to follow through) despite a lack of content. although it hurts a lot (A. LOT. sorry to everyone thats heard me cry about this since it started) that things ended the way they did, what i loved most about this place was always and always will be the community.

i have never had such an amazing opportunity to connect with other artists, other writers, to collaborate -- i have grown a crazy amount because of every person on dtblr (especially the ones who supported me when my art was um... Well). i literally could not begin to list every person who has changed my life here, but in some ways, i feel like i can; this place has always felt close-knit and uplifting in a way no other fandom has to me, and im so grateful so many disbanded dtblr blogs left breadcrumbs to their new ventures. even though we may disconnect and fade away from each other over time, what we've had is so bright and irreplaceable -- i can't even pretend to regret my time here :) even beyond a creativity standpoint, posting here and talking to everyone was always a blast. one of the things that made me bawl in those first few days was thinking about losing all the silly inside jokes we had -- in some stupid ways, i feel like its graduation and dtblr is my homeroom class 😭

i am so so touched to hear about the fic, even if you never show me or never finish. it sounds corny but every single piece of writing or art i inspired is deeply meaningful to me. they represent the best part of being here, and ive looked back on fics dedicated to me or even my old DTIYS more than anyone could ever know. maybe someday youll be able to convert it into something new and share it anyway :) i would love to read it

i have given so much of myself to this fandom over the last 2 years (almost exactly, haha! i watched my first drm video on my birthday), and i have always been treated with overwhelming kindness. thank you for being part of what made everything so special 💗💗💗 much much love

[ronbinary]

thank u @helle-bored for tagging me for TLC 🤩 i was thinking of works im proud of and i decided to go with my very first drarry fic. it's definitely rough around the edges and there are things id change if i wrote it today, but i feel like ive grown as a writer since then and looking back on this one makes me happy. 🥰

Tangled Up in Midnight Memories (and you)

The sun is glinting against the water and Potter’s laughter is loud and bright and Draco thinks he might be the happiest he’s ever been.

tagging @phoebe-delia , @moonstruckwytch , @secretartlair , @steampunkserpent27 , and anyone else out here who needs some TLC 🥰 love you all sm

[storiesforsomeone]

As a preface i have social anxiety so sorry if i sound awkward but anyway i wanted to write to the fic writers who’ve most impacted me over the years and so ofc i had to write to u. I looked back at my bookmark of You Only Live Twice, and I started reading it in 2017. I think it was until the point where Merlin was on the roof, enjoying the rain until Arthur tells him to come down. And it’s amazing how every time I go back to read this, i still have that imagine in my head. Ur descriptions always amaze me and u partner them w the most fun and thrilling plot like seriously ur story feels like the full package and im in love with it i really am. Unfortunately, i dont read it as faithfully to the updates as id like to, but every few months when i get back into the merlin fandom i go back to download You Only Live Twice once again so i can read it over from the beginning until ur latest chapter. U have no idea how ur story has just made me happy just by it existing and the experiences ive gotten from it. I feel like im right there with them and for the past 5?? 6??? Years of my life ur characters have grown up with me. Thank u so very much for writing this story. Even tho its not finished rn, its one of my favorite works ever already and it has been since that day i started reading it years ago. Once again, thank you.

Hey novatoure, this message is beautiful and heart-warming and I am so, so happy you have enjoyed reading You Only Live Twice as it has stretched out across the (increasingly staggering) number of years! I'm astounded and very touched that you've stuck with it for this long, that you have been back to reread again and again, and that it has occupied your thoughts in such a positive way; hearing that one's writing has had an impact in whatever small way is honestly one of the best compliments I think a writer can receive.

Thank you so much for taking the time to reach out and put all this down in writing, I hope you're doing well, (and thanks for the nudge to get back to updating this asap!)

Sending wishes for all good things xx