#look that vegan world is out there and I want to see it

[oediex]

I am covering myself in sun lotion when my dad asks, "What's wrong, are you getting sunburnt?"

The sun has been out today. I have spent most of it safely in the shadows, but now I've got some cycling to do.

"No," I reply. "This is to prevent that. And the sun is harmful without getting sunburnt too."

Apparently there is still some confusion.

"Do you get sunburnt that easily?"

"I don't want to get skin cancer."

I am suicidal and I want to live a long life. Is it that difficult to grasp?

[cheriladycl01]

Best Secret Santa - The Grid x Driver! Reader

Plot: in which everyone wants to have Y/N as their secret Santa because she is the best gift giver and never fails to make peoples day by going above and beyond for it!

2017

“So Y/N this is the first year of Secret Santa, how excited are you!” The F1 interviewer asks!

“I’m so excited! I love gift gifting it’s one of my love languages to show people that I know them, and I listen to them!”

“Okay are you ready to open your gift then?” She asks pushing forward a small bag that had presents wrapped up very nicely inside. You take the bag and look at the wrapping paper, it was well wrapped and good quality.

You open the first which feels as if it could be a wooden box but doesn’t really indicate what it could be.

You see that you were correct and a wooden box with your favourite paint brand is there on the top. You unclip the clasp that’s holding the lid down seeing the various paints.

“Oh this is a good present, but not many people know that I paint on the grid.

“Who knows you paint in the grid?” She asks you.

“Hmmm Romain Grosjean, K Mag, Kimi”

“So do you think it could be one of them?”

“Maybe… potentially Kimi, he knows me very well and has really helped me as a Red Bull Junior Driver and in my Rookie Year this Year”

“I think if you open the second present you’ll know who your secret Santa is” she explains and you take the second present of the table, it was pretty weighty but not as heavy as the paints.

“This feels like a book, like a hard back” you say as you start to tear into it. And it was, it was the Romain Grosjean book.

“It’s Romain!! He’s my Secret Santa?” You look at the F1 with a massive wide grin making her smile back at her!

“Wait, come with me” she becons the lady and camera crew to follow her. She walks through the building they are all in, in Abu Dhabi until she finds Romain.

“Romain, Romain wait up wait up” you shout running after him making the camera crew follow!

“Ahhh i see you received my gift!” He exclaims and she pulls him into a thankful hug.

“Please can you sigh it Mr Grosjean, I’m a huge fan of your work in Haas!” You exclaim, handing him a pen making him chuckle but still sign the book he gifted to you!

“Thank you for you time” you giggle before the cameras cut, and they decide to do Romains secret Santa while he is there.

*Flip*

“And now we are here with Lewis Hamilton who we’ve interrupted from getting ready for his Mercedes After Party for his 4 time world championship” the F1 lady smiles at Lewis Hamilton and he kindly smiles back.

“So your Secret Santa went all out, we’ve had to set the cameras a little further back and you’ve got some sizeable gifts here but they requested you read the card first”

“Holy shit” Lewis says as they start to bring in a huge box (big enough to fit the likes of Toto Wolff inside) followed by a smaller bag to the left that had three neatly wrapped presents inside.

“Who, what the fuck” Lewis says looking at the camera as if he was on the office. He looks at the F1 presenter who just shrugs her shoulders and waits for him to open the card.

“Dear Lewis, Here are 4 gifts to commemorate your 4 World Championships! Have a great winter season, and here’s to many more championships ahead! Love, Your Secret Santa” he reads seeing the little doodles inside the card.

“Any ideas on who it could be” she asks.

“No clue, everyone on the grid would know how many championships I’ve won, so this doesn’t give away much” he offers with a laugh. He grabs the bag wanting to leave the big present till last.

“Ohhh a Vegan Cook book, so they know I’m Vegan and a Japan Fridge Magnet. Okay so this is either Max or Y/N as they shared a podium with me, I’m sure off it!” He grins before taking the next present out the bag.

“What is this” he says unwrapping a rather small but oddly shaped present.

“Oh that’s so cute it’s a Dog Collar for Roscoe! Wait, holy shit it’s personalised from Dior. Surely this can’t be Max, is it Max?” He asks and the F1 presenter just shrugs.

“Thank you, this honestly is very thoughtful as Roscoe is one of my favourite things and I love the brand and wear it all the time!” He grins.

“Okay, how about we attempt to open this bigger present. I don’t actually know how you’ll get this through customs”

“I’m scared to see what it is” Lewis laughs before tearing the box open. Inside is a surfboard that is hand painted on either side with Lewis car and many other little doddles to cover the board that has something to do with Lewis.

“Oh woah a custom made board, this must have been really expensive to have made” he says observing it before picking out all the different doodles and talking about them.

“It’s not custom made, your Secret Santa actually Hand Painted this themselves” Lewis head snaps away from the board to look at the presenter in shock.

“Oh it’s got to be Y/N”

“That is correct”

“Y/N you are the cutest. I will use this board today here in Abu Dhabi before I make good use of it in the off season! I’ve never actually had anything like this before so thank you so much, you are so very thoughtful and you have the kindest soul! Thank you for everything and I hope to share a podium with you in 2018” he smiles grinning before turning his attention back to the surfboard.

2018

“Hello Y/N it is now November 2018, after the final Grand Prix of the 2018 season. So you know what time that is!” The F1 presenter asks.

“SECRET SANTA!” You scream, pulling forward the presents, there was a medium sized box in front of you.

“Can I start”

“Of course”

You pulled the lid of the box off and immediately gasp at the first thing that isn’t wrapped that you can see what it is!

“Oh my lord, how - I’ve been needing new camera lenses and a case for mine! I take pictures of everyone around the paddock! So it could be anyone, but I was talking to Max, Pierre and Dani about needing new lenses …” you admit looking to see if the F1 presenter would give you a reactionary hint.

“Oh and there’s a small envelope. I hope you enjoy this retreat with your new lenses, maybe gain a new perspective before 2019” you read out before out of the envelope you pull out flight tickets, and a small cabin hotel booking confirmation for Italy.

“No no no stop this is too much” you say tears filling up in your eyes.

“Who do you think it is” the F1 presenter asks.

“It’s Dani Ric” you cry, the words coming out strained as you look around to see if he is watching you.

“How’d you know” she asks.

“Because we had a talk about how I felt shit about this season and that the Torro Rosso wasn’t built well this year. And how him leaving Red Bull wasn’t an easy choice but it was one he had to make” you sob. The presenter comes over and pull you into a comforting hug rubbing your back and you hug into her more.

“Hey Squirt” an Australian accent comes from behind you and you fling yourself off the presenter and turn to look at the reason for your tears.

“You made me cry on camera” you say pointing to the camera and then your gifts.

“Aw I’m glad you like them! I was worried I hadn’t done well enough!” He grins rubbing your head before pulling you into a tight hug.

“I love them! And I’ll do better next year for you! I promise” you smile and he grins back at you!

*Flip*

“Hello Charles, how are you!”

“I am very good thank you. I see that there is a lot of presents here, all varying in size and it worries me. This is my first year and I don’t know many people that well!” He says looking between all the presents.

“Well here’s the card that came with it” she says passing over the red envelope that he opens the second his gets his hands on it.

“Dear Charlie, hmmm there’s not many that call me Charlie. Amazing first year in Alfa Romeo, can’t wait to see what you do in Ferrari” he reads out thinking of who it could be.

“It’s Y/N for sure. Between the amount of presents here and the note saying Charlie it must be her!” He exclaims before tearing into his first present. There were Alfa Romeo socks, with little jelly snake candies.

“Ah to remember my time in Alfa Romeo, these Candies actually look so good! Thank you!” He says observing the candies.

“This box is small, but heavy” he observes before pulling out a watch box.

“Oh my god, it’s a Ferrari watch. Look at this beauty! I will wear this now I think” He offers showing the camera the Ferrari official watch you’d got him. He places it on his wrist, looking at it before grinning and showing the camera.

“Okay this next one looks very very big, and oh it’s super heavy. I don’t even think I can lift that up”

He starts to tear off the paper, showing a cardboard box with a stamp on top, of what Charles assumed to be the place she’d got it from.

“Antiques Auction House? What is that?” He asks not knowing.

“It’s a place you bid to get rare objects” the F1 presenter grins and Charles looks up in shock. He carefully takes the tape off the lid and pulls the heavy hunk of metal out of the box. He pulls down the bubble wrap to reveal a Ferrari paddock sign.

“Is this real?” He gasps looking it over.

“Yes, maybe take a look at the race it’s from and the year” the presenter asks pushing him to look at the front a little closer.

“Monza 1996, that’s the year I was born! This gift, is so thoughtful and I will put it in my apartment where my sim is so everyone is able to see it when they come over! Hopefully this will bring me luck in Ferrari and in Monza next year so thank you Y/N”

He picks up the next gift which is small and flimsy. He immediately thinks it’s clothing.

As he tears open he holds up the t-shirt bursting out laughing looking at both sides.

On the front it was a radio from his that year printed on saying “woHooooo, Oh Yes! That feels good! - France 2018” and on the back there were words that were printed on there saying “Ask me what happened in France 2018” as a funny sexual innuendo from how crude the radio has sounded with no context behind it!

“This is hilarious and Y/N never fails with these joke gifts. That’s something I’ve noticed, I know this has only been done 2 years now but last year she had two jokey gifts for Lewis and 2 really nice thoughtful ones. This year I have similar! She’s a really good gift giver! She goes above and beyond!”

“She really does! I always get excited, just to see what Y/N gets her Secret Santa each year!”

“I think after this, if they didn’t before, everyone wants her as their gift giver!”

“Okay last gift Charles”

He open up to see a plastic CD cover, decorated by Y/N. He opens it up seeing a note inside.

“For when you finally record something on the piano” he looks up at the presenter and he shows her the cute cover the artistic grid member has designed.

“This is beautiful and I will fill it with tracks I will share with you Y/N thank you again and Merry Christmas Cheri!” He grins.

Y/N definitely spend over her own private budget this secret Santa but she couldn’t help having a small crush on the Alfa Romeo, future Ferrari boy.

2019

“Y/N, you know it’s my favourite time of the year just because you are here serving us once again with your amazing and seemingly limitless gift giving skills. I do have to ask how did you get that Monza pit board”

“Well, my dad is good friends with a Motorsport enthusiast, who has an auction house for Motorsports and Cars, and I won it in August, and was going to give it to Charles as an end or year well done/ Christmas present, but when I got him for secret Santa it made sense to put it in his gifts” you explain.

“Amazing okay so here are you presents for the 2019 season!”

“Oh my gosh I know who this is already! It’s K Mag” you exclaims seeing the pottery set! You’d been saying to him how you wanted to start getting into pottery and how you’d just brought one of the proper stoves to bake them in.

“We spoke about this before, and of course this Metallica Funko Pop would have given it away if the pottery didn’t! Omg I can’t wait to make you and your wife a vase! Thank you so much! I will bring it with me at the start of next season!” You exclaim looking in awe at the two presents in front of you!

*Flip*

“Lance Stroll, I think this year might be your lucky year, you’ve got a decent size bag with three presents” the presenter says cheerfully making Lance smile back.

“I’m excited to see what’s been brought for me! Okay first one obviously we have to open the card and see the message.

“Dear Lance, Starting as rookies together was so much fun! Beating you was even better! Oh it’s either Y/N or Gasly, we all had our rookie year together in 2017!” He exclaims before pulling out the first present which was another envelope.

“You know this is gonna be a voucher of some kind or like, a this was supposed to be your present but it’s not here. What could it be!” He asks opening it up.

“Tennis lessons … WITH ANDY MURRAY? It’s gotta be Y/N right? They are both from the UK, and I’m guessing someone she knows him? How the hell does she know him?” He laughs, he was really into tennis, if he ever had to quit motorsport he would got to tennis as his secondary option.

“This is amazing, thank you Y/N” he smiles genuinely.

“I think him and Y/N were invited to meet the Queen. She wanted to meet Y/N for breaking records around women in motorsport. They’ve played tennis together and she’s driven him round Aintree in her Lamborghini”

“Woah that’s crazy, so they are like friends? Well thank you Y/N and Andy watch out coz I’m coming for you!” He says as he reaches for the next present which is very badly wrapped.

“I think this just be the joke present she gets alongside her good ones” he says shaking it nothing giving away what it could be. He rips it open, to find a mug and a bottle of maple syrup!

“Ah yes as a true Canadian, maple is necessary! And oh a mug”

“Turn it round Lance, what does it say?” Laughs the presenter not actually knowing this was one of the presents.

“It says Daddies Little Boy” he laughs, knowing the joke in the paddock that he wouldn’t ever loose his seat in F1 until he no longer wanted to race.

“That’s hilarious, thank you Y/N I’ll be sure to show my dad this one. Okay onto the last”

He opens it up seeing a James Bond Limited Edition, signed Car from the movies in a mini form.

“It’s so funny, me and Y/N have arguments about this all the time. So they basically got her in Casino Royale as a stunt driver for one scene as she looks like Eva Green from the back. So she will always say that Casino Royale is the best Bond film, but I disagree I think it’s Quantum of Solace! Thank you Y/N for all of this! I can’t wait for my Tennis lessons!”

2020

“What a year it’s been with this virus Y/N and what a stressful year it has been for you drivers. However you’ve had some amazing drives, you had your first win this year with the new name for Toro Rosso under AlphaTauri! And we couldn’t be happier for you. But, your moving up the ranks aren’t you!” The presenter grins happily.

“Yes as of 2021 I will stay in the Red Bull family but move alongside Max into the Red Bull Racing Honda team!” You exclaim! You were so happy to have been given the chance and had worked your but of last year in AlphaTauri coming P5 in the drivers championship. Christian Horner came to you and offered you the seat as you’d done better in the Tauri than Alex in the Red Bull.

“This is just amazing news for you Y/N and we are excited to see what you can do alongside Max Verstappen in 2021!”

“Okay here are you presents for this year!” She says, you pull your mask up a little as it had dropped down as you were talking it repositioning it up and in the correct way.

“These feel like drinks?” You question as you shake the box, when you peel it down you burst out laughing at the crate of Red Bulls in front of you. Everyone knew you were moving to Red Bull so this could literally be anyone.

“Oh my gosh, and Lego Star Wars! LOOK ITS THE FALCON” you yell excitedly. During COVID, you’d streamed alongside Alex, Charles, Lando and George as you liked playing games already and it was more fun with your friends. But you also did streams where you’d answer questions while building Lego’s.

“Guys, Christmas Falcon building stream??” You ask wiggling your eyebrows, however you didn’t know if they’d be able to see them with the Santa hat currently on top of your head.

“Who did you think it is?” The presenter asks.

“I feel like this one is so hard this year, everyone knows I’m moving to RedBull and everyone knew I streamed, and my love for Star Wars” you sigh, a hand rising up to your face in a thinking motion.

“It’s gotta be someone kind and funny. Lando? NO? hmmmm …Dani Ric again? No? Pierre Gasly? NO? Oh my lord, erm I’m not sure who is it??” You ask genuinely having no clue!

“It was George Russell!” She exclaims and you grin widely!

“Thank you so much George! I really appreciate this and I hope you drop in the steam where I’m building it!”

*Flip*

“Max, what a year it’s been for you! Between some amazing races and coming P3, what can we expect from you in 2021”

“Becoming a world champion for sure, I think Y/N moving over to redbull at this time in my career is exactly what I need. She was giving me a run for my money in a mid field car this year, pushing it to its limits every race and outperforming the car. I think she’s going to be competitive and push me further as both a teammate and a rival. I’m excited to have her on board” he smiles nodding.

“Okay so here’s your presents, they are numbered in the order you have to open them in!” She says pushing them forward.

“Okay present one, oh what is this OMG tickets to Moto GP. Beside F1 that is my favourite sport! And it’s during the summer break, that’s incredible! Thank you so much! There’s two so that means I can take a friend I presume! Can I take the gifter?” He asks looking at the F1 presenter who nods, knowing you most likely wouldn’t turn that down.

“Next one! Oooo woah, this is nice, look at this. This one here is me in, Malaysia I think. My first ever face win! Austria in 2018 is here, you can see the Bulk from the Red Bull Ring, oh and here is I think this must be my win in Brazil last year I want to say? And then Abu Dhabi from this year? That race was only yesterday, how did they… this has to be Y/N I don’t know any other person who is this good at art” he says pointing the painted canvas.

“Okay, this is the last one, so this has to be her joke one right?” He asks looking towards the people.

“Read the note here first, now that you’ve worked out who it is” she smiles pushing the letter forward.

“Dear Max, I can’t wait to drive alongside you next year. Or maybe in front of you, we’ll just have to wait and see. Y/N

“I am very excited to drive with her next season. It’s going to be a very close season with the changes I’m sure will occur” he says as he starts to pull from the bag.

“A Y/N pillow, this will travel with me as a travel pillow! Oh and a Y/N signed red bull cap. You’ll be signing a lot more of these next year, but I’m honoured to get the first ever one!” He smiles nodding before looking at the camera for them to stop rolling.

2021

“Y/N, what an amazing year you’ve had a RedBull, coming in P3 and winner the constructors championship for Red Bull, how has the year been?”

“Yeah it’s been phenomenal, driving with Max has really made me push myself to the limits. I think I’m still warming up in the Red Bull this seasons and I made some mistakes which I’ve been focusing on improving each race and I think you can see that in my performance in the second half of the season. I’m thankful to max for pushing me to be a better driver and I’m excited for 2022 with Red Bull, and Honda!”

“Obviously it’s our favourite time of the year! And we are going to be opening some presents!” She says pushing forward a small box. You grin looking at the very precise and very neat wrapping.

You open the box to find one of those cute adopt a penguin with the little plushie.

“Awww it’s so cute!” You exclaims holding up the little penguin.

“And I think there’s a note in there about something else” the F1 presenter directs.

“Hello Y/N it’s your fav mentor. Join me to meet this penguin on a Antártica cruise! K.R”

“KIMI, KIMI, KIMI! No this is too much!” You say looking at the presenter in panic.

“Your idol wants to go on holiday with you! How do you feel”

“Blessed! I’m so happy! I can’t wait to go see the penguins with you Kimi!” You smile, hugging the penguin plushie close to your chest.

*Flip*

“Lando, you’ve got some large gifts here”

“Yeah it’s Y/N” Lando immediately says looking at the wide array of gifts.

“You haven’t even opened at them yet” she laughs.

“No I know Y/N and she’s the only one that puts THIS extensive effort into this! I’ve nailed it tho saying it’s Y/N” he smirks.

“Okay what have we got here” he says picking up the first which is a thinly wrapped envelope.

“Spa vouchers …” he says before shaking his head trying not to laugh and look mock angry.

“I crash in spa, and this is what I get… thanks Y/N. Oh there’s three vouchers. You can Max Fewtrell can come with me. Oh and some … Valorant lessons? Are you saying I’m bad at Valorant, just because your a sweat and your like Ascendent or some shit!” He grins out.

He grabs the next box, small yet heavy. He opens it seeing McLaren x Richard Mille.

“A watch! Woah this … I’m so happy to add this to my collection!”

“And it’s the only one ever made!” The presenter adds making him gasp and look underneath the watch at the engraving. A blush comes onto his face thanking the girl for the watch.

“Okay big box next!” He grins tearing into it.

“Oh Y/N! Y/N” he says with a hand slapped to his mouth.

“Wait no stop” he says pulling the personalised helmet she made him with a note explaining it was for a good start to 2022.

“Thank you Y/N and I can’t wait to wear this next year it’s amazing!” He smiles showing it to the camera finding more and more funny things to laugh to himself about that were inside jokes between the pair of you.

2022

“Y/N the fight between you Max and Charles was so close this year, and you only were a few points behind Charles in the end, taking a storm of a constructors win for Red Bull, so do think you and Charles will have a chance in 2023”

“Yea of course! I’ve renewed my contract with Red Bull until 2025, so I’m very excited at what it will bring!”

“As usual it’s time for the best part of the season! Secret Santa, let’s see what you’ve got this year!” She directs pushing forward the presents in front.

“A bottle of Sake! This will be from Mr Yuki Tsunoda, a Japanese delicacy that he introduced me to this year at the Grand Prix! Thank you Yuki! We’ll have to drink this together!” You smile before going to the next present.

“Oh my gosh, a Bonsai and new tools! This is perfect for my garden in London! Look I have to show you!” She smiles showing the F1 presenter pictures of her garden going off on a rant of where she could place the new bonsai.

“Thank you so much Yuki! Can’t wait to race with you in 23” you smile at the camera.

*Flip*

“Alex! Hopefully Williams has been treating you well” the interviewer smiles happily.

“It has, I think I got a lot out of the car this year which they can learn from in the future! It’s been a year of learning for all of us and we’re happy with the improvements we made” he smiles.

“Well it’s Secret Santa time. Here are your gifts”

“This first one feels like a shirt” he admits feeling up the packaging. He opens it and unfolds the top laughing at what was on the front putting it down and laughing into his hands.

“Show us what you got Alex” she asks. He holds up the gifted top that’s a picture of you and Lily holding hands walking through the paddock looking at each other loving. Above the picture in writing says ‘this woman stole my girlfriend’.

“Lily will force me to wear this, I know it and she will agree with it and come running to the menace of a Secret Santa that gifted this to me! Thank you Y/N” he smiles charmingly at the camera.

“Okay, up next oh? Private golf lessons, with Lily at Hotchkin Course. It says here’s the course is ours for the whole day! Woah, not only will I appreciate that but Lily will also enjoy that day out! Thank you so so much Y/N as usual you are the best!”

“Hand painted golf balls, oh look so this one has the Thai flag on it, this one has the Williams logo on it, this one has a Lily flower on it, okay that’s cute! Look at this detail” he says holding the ball up close to the camera!

“This is perfect! Thank you Y/N and have an amazing Christmas”

2023

"Y/N you and Max have had an amazing season this year and have dominated formula one in Red Bull. You came P2 in the championship, not too far behind Max who won his 3rd championship!"

"Yes, its been an amazing year for us and I'm hoping that next year it will be me winning the Championship!" you grin looking at the presenter.

"Okay, so its the 7th year of Secret Santa on the grid! Are you excited! Because i am!" she says shoving the small bag towards you. You grin excited.

"Yes, okay so ooooo, I know who this is straight away and I think the fans are going to be really happy over this" you grin after you'd peeled the bag back seeing the first gift that was unwrapped and open for the eye to see.

You pull the object out showing hair bleach, toner and little tools and foils, and a note saying that you'll both dye it together and be matching blondes.

You show the camera, knowing fans will not only go wild for blonde Alex, but wild for you finally going blonde after saying for months that you would.

"This is a great gift, and we are going to get Lily to do this for us together!" you smile, before dipping into the bag and pulling the next gift out.

"Steal my GF coupons! OMG finally thank you Alex, i can finally get MY girlfriend Lily back. Guy's seriously when you next pan to her when she's in the paddock, please caption her as Lily Professional Golfer and Partner of Red Bull Driver Y/N Y/L/N. Please I'm begging you!" she laughs and the presenter writes something down on her phone.

"Thank you Alex for these amazing gifts and I will be sure to use both the coupons and the hair dye!" you grin, observing the contents of the hair dye.

"This is a good brand no? Lily must do a good job" you nod, hoping that Lily knows how to dye hair considering Alex's looked good the last time he had it done.

"Yes, its what they use for most of the KPOP Idols in Korea, you know how they dye their hair lots? This is what they use in order to keep it really nice and smooth"

*FLIP*

"Okay, here we have our all time favrioute Daniel Ricciardo, so happy to have seen you driving for AlphaTauri this year. Hopefully 2024 will be a good season for you and we can get some podiums back up there!" she smiles at Daniel who has his typical huge smile back.

"Thank you, lets get down to the real reason we are here! I want to see the presents whoever this is"

"Okay, so ooo a bike helmet. Hmmmm I've been saying to a few on the grid that i need a new one, but this is a really good brand. Okay next one" he smiles moving the bike helmet to one side.

"Ohhhh what the hell, someone has got me Talladega Nights, but they've photoshopped me into Ricky Bobby's place. Look at this. Did you guys get Jensen Button to join in this year?" he laughs showing the camera, the photoshopped version of the popular film among the drivers.

"That's really funny so i bet its got to be one of the young one. Maybe Lando? Or Y/N? or even Oscar my Aussie brother?" he says observing the disk before placing it against the bike helmet leaving it on show.

"A honey badger plushie... okay this is Y/N Lando no way would get me a plushie thats this cute" he jokes.

"Okay last one, holy shit. Do you know how the hell she managed to pull some of these gifts off?? I swear she's the actual St Nick sometimes!" he says looking at his final present. It was an envelope explaining something that you would do for him.

"So she's booked a venue, for her and Heidi in Milan to do a fashion show of my new clothes line that I’ve made in-front of anyone who wants to attend… that’s so thoughtful. Thank you Y/N I’m sure you and Heidi will look amazing on the runway! Thank you and see you on the track more next year!” He smiles.

Taglist:

@littlesatanicassholebitch @hockey-racing-fubol @laura-naruto-fan1998 @22yuki @simxican @sinofwriting @lewisroscoelove @cmleitora @stupidandunnecessary @clayra-g @daemyratwst @honey-belden @moonypixel @lauralarsen @vader-is-hot @ironcowboycopnickel @itsjustkhaos @the-untamed-soul @beebo86 @happylittlereader @ziejustme @lou-larcher5 @thewulf @purplephantomwolf @chasing-liberosis @chillyleclerc @chanthereader @annoyingmoonballoon @summissss @evieepepi08 @havaneseoger08 @celesteblack08 @gulphulp @fandom1ruined2me @celebstories @starfusionsworld @jspitwall@sierruhh @georgeparisole @dakotatankbig @youcannotcancelquidditch @zzonsbeek @tallbrownhairsarcastic @mellowarcadefun @ourteenagetragedy @otako5811 @countingstacksandpanicattacks @peachiicherries @formulas-bitch @cherry-piee @hopexcroc @mirrorball-6 @spilled-coffee-cup @mehrmonga @bigsimperika @blueberry64857959 @eiraethh @lilypadlover @curseofhecate @alliwantisadonut @the-fem1n1ne-urge @21stcenturytaegi @dark-night-sky-99 @spideybv28 @i-wish-this-was-me

[danielhowell]

DOOMED MERCH HAS DROPPED!

No this is not a drill - after touring the world (that is ending), probably the coolest merch I will ever release is finally here - we have scoured the corners of the earth to pull together a collection of WE'RE ALL DOOMED! merch to celebrate the recent show (and slit) and bring it online for you.

From the tour date t-shirt, to the iconic DOOMED ambigram hoodie, the black metal longsleeve and ..the 'DanHub tee' - choose what your apocalyptic aesthetic is.

WORLDWIDE: shop.danielhowell.com USA: us.shop.danielhowell.com EUROPE: eu.shop.danielhowell.com AUSTRALIA: au.shop.danielhowell.com

As a SPECIAL (wow) online-only offer - every order of the super limited quantity Vegan Leather Jacket (with rapture art on the reverse) will also ship with a totally unique Polaroid selfie that I took while thinking about death! 

I make no promises what I will be doing - it could be a cute smile, or a middle-finger. It's just whatever the vibe was in the moment. Who knows what someone will trade for the rare under-chin angle that some lucky person will get? (I am so sorry)

And it's not just garments - we've also got rare collectors items to snatch including the interval playlist cassette tape, and the 'Tears of My Enemies' water bottle, that I drink out of myself everyday while manifesting people's downfall.

Lastly, look out for the signed Ally Pally London show posters commemorating the final performances, which may come with fingerprints allowing you to perfectly fraud my identity, due to my left-handed sharpie smudging.

I want to say thank you to the tens of thousands of people that tuned into the stream to celebrate my show - without you it wouldn't have been possible to capture for posterity and now the message can live on. I'm going to begin my quest to determine where DOOMED will live forever, and who knows if we'll manage to wrangle any of the other rare itemz🐝 along with it in the future. I appreciate you all and I can't wait to see you all looking gnarly as fuck scaring the normies in this merch. Thanks 🖤 - Dan

[jaewritesfic]

Everlasting Trio DP x DC Nobody Knows AU Part 7

Part 6

The door Sam knocks on is in a much nicer building than she expected.

She and Tucker are visiting Danny for dinner - and boy did they both nearly burst with excitement when he shyly extended the invitation - and frankly Sam had expected an apartment building in the Narrows or Park Row.

Danny was a teenage runaway less than a decade ago, for God's sake. Forgive her and Tucker for assuming he'd still be getting his feet under him and scraping by.

This? This is not that.

Sam has half a mind to think Danny is sugaring. He certainly wouldn't have any trouble - the Danny that disappeared from Amity was cute, but small and awkward in that teenage way. The grown up Danny they've been reconnecting with? He's tall, lean and positively gorgeous.

She wouldn't have a problem with that, per say. But the Danny they knew was also too nice for his own good and starved for positive attention. If someone was taking advantage of that Sam would kill them. 

Separation did not quell her instinct to wrap Danny up and protect him from the world, it would seem.

There's a slight commotion after the knock before Danny himself is yanking the door open with a grin that's happy and nervous at the same time.

“Guys! Hey! Come in!”

He ushers them inside with all the energy of an overgrown puppy, something that hasn't changed one bit since they were kids.

Sam shivers a little as they enter, assuming there's an AC unit blowing over the entryway at first. She smiles at Danny's back as he babbles at them.

“I kind of lost track of time, so food isn't actually ready yet, but then I thought - hey! Who cares! We can cook together and it'll be fun! I got all vegan stuff too so we can make a meaty pizza for Tuck and a different one for you, Sam-”

The apartment they walk into is a spacious open floor plan, furniture in blacks and grays. She shivers again. Seriously-

“Your AC on the fritz or something?” Tucker asks, rubbing his arms a little. “It's like fifty degrees in here, man.”

Danny freezes for a second on his way to the kitchen space before turning around and beelining for a wall - the thermostat.

“Shit, sorry! Sit, sit! I knew I was forgetting something,” he grumbles as he flaps a hand towards the black bar stools at the kitchen island and fiddles with the thermostat. “I like the cold, I always have it too low for most people in here. Sorry about that, it'll get better soon.”

Sam and Tucker exchange bewildered looks as they sit at the kitchen island. There's liking it cool, and there's fucking freezing.

“Guess I don't have to ask your favorite season,” Tucker jokes, and Danny offers him an apologetic grin as he lopes back over.

“Yeah, probably a safe guess,” he chuckles on his way to the fridge. “You guys want drinks? I have a homemade sangria if you want. Beer, wine, you name it.”

Tucker opts for a beer. Sam asks for the homemade sangria, curious. Danny pours two glasses and takes an ice cube tray out to pop a couple of ice cubes in.

When the glass is set in front of her - “they're the stemless kind you can't knock over. Cool, right? Look at ‘em wobble, they're just little guys.” - she raises an eyebrow.

The ice cubes are in the shape of little ghosts. Tucker snorts when he sees them, taking the bottle opener Danny offers for his beer.

“Ghosts? Really?”

Danny blinks like he'd forgotten he had a novelty ice cube tray, then grins and shrugs.

“I mean. What else is being from Amity good for if not inside jokes?”

He turns away before she can respond with any form of bewilderment - Danny had been known for disappearing during ghost fights, after all. He was terrified of them. She hadn't expected him to want any reminders of ghosts or his ghost hunter parents.

Sorry - Jack and Maddie.

With two resounding thunks, Danny slaps store bought dough onto his nice dark counters. He at least remembered to leave them out to rise. 

“Alright! While I roll this out, it's time to pick your toppings lady and gent - go wild, go ham. Let me show you my selection.”

He opens the fridge again, pulling out meats and veggies and cheeses abound. Sam notes vegan cheese alternatives in the mix with a warm fondness in her chest. She's stricter about being vegetarian than vegan, but the fact that Danny went that extra little mile? 

Yeah. Yeah, this is still her boy. She missed having two of them. She and Tuck were never meant to be without a Danny, and she can see on Tucker's face that he feels the same way.

Smiling and standing to start looking through the options, Sam sips her sangria. 

It’s delicious, and the little ghost ice cubes smile back up at her like they're as glad as she is to be here.

Masterpost

[il-miele-che-scrive]

Can I request something similar to your latest Lewis smau except y/n is Toto's daughter? It's controversial because she's younger, you know the drill

Sure!! <3 For this one I made Y/n a singer

Btw the song in this fic is made up lol

username1 She's PRECIOUS

username2 Y/n is so me

username3 Honestly that's so reletable

username4 I swear this girl will pet any creature she can, how isn't she scared of catching some disease?

↳username1 Have you ever heard of water? Is the concept of washing your hands familiar to you?

username5 Oh to be a cat pet by Y/n Wolff...

username6 A rich girl petting strays... Imagine how much of a better place the world would be if she put the same energy into some charity work

↳username7 Y/n is known for doing charity work when it comes to animals. Pretty sure some % of her earnings goes to several pet charities, organizations. Not to mention she's been vegan for a few years now

↳username8 Wow immagine if you did your research before commenting

↳username9 i love how Y/n was born into the rich life but has always been humble and used her money to help others

username10 Literally she gets a lot of hate for being a daughter of a billionaire like okay next time she'll choose to be born poor lmao

username11 exactly!! there's a difference between flexing on daddy's money and using your daddy's money for good causes

username9 pretty sure she makes her own money now;)

y/n_wolff Busy day at work 😋 look who I bumped into on the way to the studio!!

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georgerussell63 Look at you finally doing some work

↳y/n_wolff Don't worry, soon I'm back at my 2nd job (I just hang around the paddock looking all pretty and stuff)

georgerussell63 No, thank you ❤️ we don't miss you

lewishamilton Speak for yourself George, Roscoe likes when Y/n babysits him

y/n_wolff Roscoe is the only one who understands me for real 😭

roscoelovescoco Petition for an invitation next time you go to the studio

↳y/n_wolff I swear I sent one, it must've got lost on the way 🥹 the pigeon dropped it or something

roscoelovescoco Still using pigeons? That's not very vegan of you...

y/n_wolff Hey! I pay them, alright? If they didn't want to, they wouldn't do this job...

y/n_wolff (hey everyone this is a joke obv)

username3 Imagine what will happen when the haters see this comment section lol

mercedesamgf1 Can't wait to hear it ❤️

↳y/n_wolff 🫶

oscarpiastri Look at that last pic of Y/n with Lando

↳landonorris fuck you if I was an animal i wouldn't be a cat

y/n_wolff Right, you'd be a worm.

landonorris would you guys still love me if I was a worm?

oscarpiastri No

y/n_wolff No

username1 May this be a love song 🤞I need to her one from Y/n after her terrible breakup last year

↳username2 She had a boyfriend last year??

username1 Yeah, we don't know anything about him besides the fact that he broke her heart... Poor girl deserves some true love

username2 Was it a driver?

username1 I highly doubt it, they wouldn't be able to keep it so private

alex_albon Pls make it singable on track

↳y/n_wolff 😬 well...

alex_albon Y/n...

y/n_wolff It's a love song...

username4 SHE ADMITTED!! IT'S A LOVE SONG!!

↳username5 Our girl is in love again 😭

username4 I just hope he treats her better than her ex. Otherwise imma need to talk to him

maxverstappen1 If you like cats so much you should come over sometime

↳username4 Cats rizz 💀

↳username2 No cuz Max has had a crush on Y/n for so long now and I'd love to see them together

↳y/n_wolff You're a few weeks too late 😂🙈

username3 EXCUSE ME I NEED TO KNOW WHO THE MAN IS

username5 Me too, I just wanna talk... *cracking fingers*

y/n_wolff The one I prayed for out now, let me know your thoughts 🩷🕊️

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georgerussell63 Since when are you so religious?🤨

↳y/n_wolff He changed me ❤️

oscarpiastri Great, another song Lando will make me unwillingly listen to

↳y/n_wolff You love my music, don't lie

landonorris yes he does

oscarpiastri Alright, I know a few songs

y/n_wolff A few songs my ass, I saw that iconic interview where you and Lando sing my songs

landonorris he will never admit it but he was a fan YEARS before he got into f1 and met you

y/n_wolff Not like I stalk his Twitter but I saw a post from 2019 about me, it had like 5 likes and Oscar was one of them lmao

landonorris i knew you had daddy issues but are you okay?

↳y/n_wolff Yeah why?? Wtf??

landonorris well after hearing this song I'm not

username1 "They may judge the age we are, the differences they see, but love knows not of boundaries, it only seeks to be free" MY GIRL IS A POET 😭

username2 I'm not ready to meet this man after hearing "He's walked through fire, faced his fears, but in his heart, there's room for tears" 😭

carmenmmundt Truly in love with the lyrics, they're out of this world, out of this century

↳y/n_wolff Thank you love 🥹

lewishamilton The chorus got me in a chokehold💜

↳y/n_wolff He's the one I prayed for, in the dead of night, a love like ours, hidden from sight. If people knew, they'd say it's wrong, but in his arms I belong🥹

↳username4 What is Lewis doing here...?

username5 Chill, he drives for Mercedes. George also commented in case you didn't notice

username3 Lyrics so beautiful miss girl was born in the wrong generation

↳username2 fr it sounds straight from 20th century poetry, she's too pure for the age of quick tinder hookups

username6 I knew what her father was like but damn...that song screams daddy issues...

↳username7 Y/n said music is her therapy, that's just how she chooses to express her emotions

username8 When are we going to talk about this part of the lyrics?? "In his eyes, reflections of victory, every triumph and mystery. He's raced through life, faced every curve"?? THIS HAS TO BE ABOUT A DRIVER

↳username9 Y/N AND MAX???

username10 me when I'm delusional

↳username11 I wish it was about Max, but it's certainly about an older guy. I mean, Max is a few years older than Y/n, but the song feels like the guy is in his 30s

lewishamilton Summer break = days spent at the beach

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username1 Sir Lewis Hamilton casually adding his boss' daughter to his vacation pics 🤨

↳username2 fr did he think we wouldn't notice?

georgerussell63 Blink twice if Y/n forced you to post the last photo

↳lewishamilton She kindly asked and I agreed.

y/n_wolff Exactly. That's what I do. I ask. Kindly.

username3 SO HER SONG IS ABOUT HIM??

↳username4 Seems like it 🥹

username3 idk how I feel about it tbh... she's too young for him

username5 Yeah imo she'd be better with Max

username4 Shut the hell up guys, let them be happy, there must be a reason they're together

landonorris that's called soft launching, did you know that?

↳y/n_wolff Wdym?? We're just team bonding during the summer break

georgerussell63 Then why wasn't I at the team bonding?

y/n_wolff Uhhhh I'll call you back later, I'm driving through a tunnel 😬

username6 She's too young for him, will have her fun and move onto the next guy (Max?)

↳username7 You're the reason why so many celebs prefer to keep their relationships a secret

username8 WHAT DID TOTO SAY??

↳username6 Does he even know? 💀 AFAIK he doesn't have social media

username8 But it's impossible that he wouldn't know, right...?

y/n_wolff I love you but what is this basic caption?😭

↳lewishamilton I'd rather like to focus on how pretty you look

y/n_wolff I LOVE YOU 😭

landonorris simp

y/n_wolff Stfu Lando, you wish you could hang out with us at the beach

username3 Lmao didn't expect Lando calling the 7 times world champion a simp but here we are

username9 Okay guys but... The girlfriend effect? How will the girlfriend effect work in this case if Lewis is a fashion icon already?

↳username10 There must be a way for an upgrade, there always is

y/n_wolff Sorry, he's all perfect already🫶I guess the gf effect only applies to boys and my man is a real man🗡

maxverstappen1 Have fun ☀️ see you back on track soon

↳username6 Something doesn't feels right seeing Max in this comment section...

username10 Get your shit together, him and Y/n never had a thing, y'all made it all up based on one interview Max gave years ago

mercedesamgf1 🌞😎

y/n_wolff He's the one I prayed for

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lewishamilton I love you babe but what is this basic caption?

↳y/n_wolff You're learning from the best, I see

georgerussell63 Good to know you're still team bonding 👍

↳y/n_wolff Yeah, we bonded really hard last night😌

georgerussell63 TMI

oscarpiastri The last pic 🤓

↳landonorris she's getting bold isn't she

y/n_wolff I don't have reasons to be shy tho, do I?

landonorris girl made one good song and made it her whole personality

↳y/n_wolff This is girlhood, you'd never get it

landonorris btw this is hard launching but in a 'we don't give a fuck' way

↳y/n_wolff Well, we don't 🤷‍♀️

username1 WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LITTLE Y/N😭

↳username2 She grew up 😭

username3 I love how nonchalant they're about it

carmenmmundt Someone's been working out🤭

↳y/n_wolff Now I have a personal trainer 😌

username4 WHAT DID TOTO SAY??

↳username5 Bet we're gonna see much more of smashing his headset after the break

username6 How is she so casual about it? We just found out she's dating LEWIS MF HAMILTON and she's acting like that's nothing

↳username3 I guess it is 'nothing' for her, she's known Lewis since she was really young

username7 That's what's giving me the biggest ick because this man has known her since she was an early teen and suddenly decided to date her?

username3 Yeah but she's in her 20s now, she's a consenting adult

username7 That's not normal, this is the definition of grooming

username3 I'm sorry I'm too european for your bullshit

username8 Lewis said fuck it I'm going to Ferrari next year anyway, might as well shoot my shot 💀

username9 Max Verstappen has been really silent

↳username10 Now he'll compete with Lewis not only for the championship but also for Y/n 😂

username9 It would be such a win

username11 Can y'all MaxY/n shippers shut up? I swear y'all are worse than Lestappen shippers

y/n_wolff Roscoe working hard while his dad socializes with his grandpaw 🥳

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username1 I didn't even realize now that Y/n and Lewis are together it means Toto is Roscoe's grandpaw 😭

georgerussell63 Working hard or hardly working?

↳y/n_wolff No comment...

landonorris really shocked to see toto still gets along with lew

↳username2 Lando saying what we all think lol

↳y/n_wolff Dad was actually happy!!

landonorris does he hope you'll convince lew to stay in mercedes?

y/n_wolff How am I supposed to know 🤷‍♀️ you go talk to him

oscarpiastri New songs when?

↳y/n_wolff Soon!! (I haven't started working on them)

username2 I'm actually happy to see them happy and that Toto accepts Lewis as Y/n's boyfriend

↳username3 It's still weird 💀 imagine calling a 40 year old your 'boyfriend'

username2 People are allowed to find love at any age

username3 Lewis is closer in age to Toto than to Y/n

username2 And? Y/n isn't a child, she's a grown woman, if Lewis is what she wants, who are we to judge?

username3 It's just icky... It's not gonna last long

username4 I still can't stop thinking what could be if Y/n was dating Max 🥹

↳username5 fr my dream couple

username6 Y'all see how Y/n predicted people's reaction in her song? "If people knew, they'd say it's wrong" and y'all can't stop yapping about imaginary grooming or what her and Max could've been

↳username7 Girl should've kept it a secret, I feel sorry for them 🥲

↳username8 But in his arms I belong

y/n_wolff Okay everybody, I didn't want to talk about it, but you give me no choice. Lewis and I are in love, there was no grooming involved, I make my own decisions. I really wanted to cherish our love with my new music, but you make me re-think it. I don't feel excited to share our love with you anymore.

↳lewishamilton Don't worry about them darling ❤️

↳danielricciardo FEA

↳landonorris You have our support guys

↳oscarpiastri Don't let these comments get to you, they don't matter

↳georgerussell63 I know I usually act like a snappy older brother, but I love to see you happy (even if Lewis is the reason)

↳maxverstappen1 Haters are always gonna hate, but they don't deserve your attention

[naturesapphic]

If you’re on a kick for writing Billie stories, can you give us one where dom (mommy) Billie wears a strap under her clothes all day and teases the reader with it? Going out with the strap under her pants, even with the risk of the paparazzi seeing her with a bulge, because she knows it would make her plaything all needy and desperate for her to use it? Idk why but strap bulges are my favourite thing in the world

Billie’s Teasing

Billie eilish x fem!reader

WARNINGS: teasing, sexual themes, not actual smut, Dom!billie

Billie has been teasing you all day ever since the two of you woke up. Billie and you had some time off for the time being so the two of you have been relaxing as much as you can. Today was no exception but Billie has been torturing you for some reason and you were getting desperate by the minute. When the two of you got dressed that morning, Billie came out of the bathroom and that’s when you noticed the bulge in her pants. You knew you were in for it.

It was a few hours later and you and Billie decided to go out for lunch. The two of you went into dragon and drove off to her favorite vegan restaurant. Apparently the paparazzi found out where the two of you were because once y’all got out of the car, y’all were surrounded. You two went passed them and went inside of the restaurant. The owner knew Billie and he immediately got y’all a table. Billie went up the to the table and slid your chair out for you which you thanked her for.

She gave you a smirk and sat down, spreading her legs, her bulge being quite visible. You squeezed your legs tightly and whimpered under your breath. “You okay babygirl? You look a little red in the face there.” Billie teased and you playfully kicked her leg underneath the table. “Shut up…” you said shyly and Billie let out a cute giggle which made you smile at her cuteness. “What are you ordering baby.” Your girlfriend said in a low, teasing voice as she looks deep into your eyes. She knew these things would get you going and that’s what she’s been trying to accomplish all day.

“My usual.” You said as you put down the menu and the waiter came up to greet y’all. The two of you ordered and continued your conversation. Soon, y’all’s meals were here and the two of you started eating. Every time billie would eat she would look straight into your eyes which would make your cheeks go red. She would continue her teasing with eating but she would also rub her legs against yours because she loved how flustered you got when she does it. Billie was done before you so she laid back and had her legs spread and every now and then she would grab the front of her pants and bunch it up some.

You were beyond wet and you needed her to take you right then and there. So you quickly finished eating and told billie you were ready to go home to which she chuckled at, knowing how desperate you were getting and how she absolutely loved it. Billie paid for y’all’s meal, even though you told her that you wanted to pay for it but of course she was extremely stubborn and didn’t let you pay. As she was paying, she was standing behind you, her pelvis against your ass so you could feel the strap. You were beyond flustered at this point and your legs felt like jelly. Billie guided you out of the restaurant and to her car where she ran to your side and opened the door for you.

You smiled gratefully and got in. Billie shut your door and ran around to her side and she got in. She turned on dragon, smiling at the cars roar as the car comes alive. Billie pulls out of the parking lot and the two of you drive home. What you didn’t know was that Billie was done teasing you for the day and was going to reward you for taking her teasing all day. You had a lot in store for you.

A/n: I’m sorry this was so rushed but I wanted to get something out. I hope you liked it Anon and I hoped the rest of y’all liked it too! Remember to stay hydrated and to rest! I love y’all!

[theoxytocin]

male fantasy

i got a call from a girl i used to know,

we were inseparable years ago.

constance evermore.

oh how billie loved that girl when she was a teenager, she loved her so much she wished she could’ve held onto her tighter and never let her go into the bad world they lived in alone.

constance and billie were close friends growing up, both of the two bonded over having a interest in the musical arts. as billie had said many times, one of her choir teachers never liked her, but he did like constance which is a reason for bringing the two so close.

and ever since the friendship blossomed. throughout the whole beginning of her career constance was there. never leaving billie’s side until an argument drove the two of them to fall apart. constance was so hurt and betrayed and yet billie was feeling the same way. so bad she mentioned it briefly in a song or two.

and it was all over a stupid boy

and that was years ago, it was now october 20, 2024, specifically 12:21 am. constance was in west hollywood with a few friends at some random party, she had no clue who’s it was but she didn’t care until someone behind her mentioned billie now she didn’t even wanna be there, so she left.

the thing was they never said billie was at the party. just the mention of her name ruined her mood. it’s been five fucking years since they last talked and she wasn’t over it. i mean how could she be? half the internet knows verses from male fantasy is about her.

and tv is one thousand percent about her. she knows it herself, everyone does. but no one knows why. everyday those two nights the songs were based on were on her mind and it always brought her to tears.

guilt never leaving and she just wished she never made that phone call. maybe she would’ve been long moved on by now.

like billie was.

constance shivered as she sat on the curb and her cheeks stained with tears mixed with mascara and glitter.

straight out of euphoria type shit

DECEMBER 6, 2018

constance sat next to the blue haired girl. her legs rested on top of her best friend. the two were backstage of a concert billie was invited to. and unfortunately her boyfriend was there.

much to billie’s dismay. constance and q didn’t get along, like ever. but billie being billie never let anyone tell her anything. so constance always kept her thoughts to herself because she hated when billie was mad at her.

but this time she couldn’t take it anymore. the way, billie was sulking in her seat, looking border than ever because it was supposed to be a date, then he invited friends, so she invited constance and it pissed the younger girl off. billie didn’t deserve this.

“i mean like, doesn’t he clearly see i’m bored? connie do i look happy?” the redhead looked at her, out of habit, the first thing she does is admire her best friends face before she nods.

“you and i are equally bored, who even is the performer again?” billie sighed and shrugged “i have no fucking clue, wanna go look for food or some shit? q ate my taco bell”

constance rolled her eyes at that but stood up anyway. she smiled at the girl in front of her as she reached her hands out for her to grab. “maybe they have vegan food”

“hopefully, fries kinda sound good right now though” constance nodded in agreement.

the two sat on the couch eating their shared fries when q walked over, his first instinct was to give constance a dirty look which didn’t go unseen by her, she returned the look to which billie caught this time.

“constance.” she warned, the girl only rolled her eyes. don’t make her mad. she reminded herself. but it continued the whole night.

constantly throwing dirty looks and making comments billie would ignore.

and she couldn’t take it anymore when billie went to the bathroom and q decided to speak up when it wasn’t wanted. “so, when are you leaving? it’s supposed to be me and billie tonight .. and you’re kinda ruining the vibe” constance froze and slowly looked up at him.

“excuse me? i’m ruining it? you brought your stupid friends, if we wanna be dumb then blame it on something else but i am not ruining this, you did. and just so you know this is a horrible birthday date idea. billie deserves better so do fucking better asshole”

he stared at her in shock and disbelief, every few seconds his eyes shifted from her to behind her. “what the fuck are you looking at?” she turned frustrated, her eyes widened when they met billie’s angry ones.

“bil..” she began, but the girl was already walking away, constance rushed after her.

“billie stop.” “what the fuck was that? why would you yell at him like that, he did nothing wrong constance!” she scoffed under her breath, billie’s ocean eyes glaring at her.

“you seriously cannot be mad at me, bil i did nothing but defend you and myself, i wasn’t lying when i said you deserve better! i mean look at this? the concert hasn’t even started and he brought his friends like really?”

“never did i need or ask you to defend me so just stop! he’s my boyfriend, as my best friend you should respect that. if you have a crush on me and you’re trying to break us up just say that” “you cannot be fucking serious”

billie shrugged her shoulders, her face blank while constance stared at her, arms crossed and in disbelief. billie’s eyes avoided hers knowing she’d immediately see how hurt constance looked.

but billie wasn’t in the wrong right?

“you’re my best friend, i don’t have a crush on you. i’m sorry for trying to be a good friend but maybe i’m done trying, so go back to your boyfriend, i’m going home. text me when you realize how fucked you sound”

she never texted, constance didn’t reach out either. both too stubborn to text each other. it went on for a whole year of this.

billie hated it, she hated everything going on. she regretted that night a lot, looking back on it now that she was older and matured. she was one thousand percent in the wrong.

so when constance called, a year later, she thought she’d be able to apologize. but she didn’t, the call felt like six seconds long.

JANUARY 6, 2020

billie didn’t speak much. “tell your fans to leave me alone” was all that was said. billie felt stupid for thinking it could’ve been that she missed her and wanted billie to apologize.

but maybe billie should’ve just reached out first like she was supposed to. “uhm, i don’t know what you’re-” “they’re harassing me still because they still think we’re privately dating and that i cheated or something because i posted my boyfri - billie just speak out” constance sighed in frustration.

the blonde’s heart fluttered remembering how they were so close everyone genuinely thought they were together. and maybe billie did have a crush on constance, maybe she pushed her away because that scared her so she convinced herself constance was wrong.

she’d never been with a girl before, her first kiss was constance, but, they were thirteen and just wanted to practice’. and for some reason hearing that constance was in a relationship hurt.

if she wasn’t a bitch that day, constance wouldn’t be getting harassed because maybe her and billie could’ve been more.

“uhm, i’ll - i’m sorry i’ll say something on my story” she stuttered over her words, constance was silent before a small thank you was heard. “how have you been connie? i heard that you - you model right? for prada”

“i didn’t call to talk like that billie, i have to go. just say something on your story”

thought we’d get along, but it wasn’t so

[misseviehyde]

De-Mentor

Sarah couldn’t be prouder of her younger sister Annabelle. She was definitely following in her big sister’s footsteps and living up to the family expectations. Head of the student council, a committed feminist and a straight A student, she had cultivated a happy and positive lifestyle just like Sarah. Just like her big sister she was also a vegan and she was deeply into politics.

Annabelle would often tell Sarah that she was her inspiration.  As a staffer for a local left-wing political organisation, Sarah had graduated top of her class and was now a rising star. She was making a difference. Annabelle looked up to her sister and wanted to be just like her once she graduated. She already had plans to become an environmental activist and work in the charity sector, something their rich but radical parents fully supported.  She first needed to complete her journalism degree, but once that was done she was ready to do her part to help the world.

The only thing Annabelle worried about was that she was sometimes getting stuck in an echo-chamber.  That was why she had tracked down her older sisters high-school bully Melody and as part of her dissertation was now interviewing her. She wanted to understand why Melody had bullied her sister and also what drove an evil bitch like her.

Melody was gorgeous and pretty. Her parents were super rich and she had been athletically talented.  Why would someone who had everything be so cruel?  Annabelle thought there had to be some deep reason, something she could discover and write about. Perhaps Melody was unhappy with her own life, perhaps she had changed since school? Maybe she would even want to apologise to Sarah and make up for all the bad, evil things she had done or said.

Sarah had told Annabelle horror stories about the rich, bratty, cheerleader and her clique. How Melody had taunted, teased and manipulated the school. Everyone had been afraid of her.  Annabelle wasn’t sure what to expect once she began interviewing the bully, but she had to try.

***

“Regrets?  No I don’t have any regrets. I fucking LOVED bullying your pathetic sister and making her my little bitch. Highschool was such fun, I could do whatever the fuck I wanted, and no one could stop me. Mmmmmh, it still makes me wet just thinking about it.”

Annabelle was listening back to her recordings from todays interview. She could barely believe it as she listened to the evil poison dripping out of Melody’s bitchy mouth. She couldn’t believe how open and honest the other woman was being, but it made her feel physically sick to listen to.

And yet…

Melody’s voice was aptly melodic. Soft and seductive, full of wicked intonation and glee.  The recorder seemed to greedily suck it up.  Annabelle knew she would end up listening to it again just to hear that voice… that damn pretty voice.

“You should be glad you weren’t at school when I was. I would have bullied you too. I mean, you’re so fucking pathetic - you dress like Sarah, ape her mannerisms, you even sound like that dumb bitch. Aren’t you embarrassed that you basically are your sisters mini-me?  Wouldn’t you rather be your own person?”

In the recording, Annabelle stuttered some more questions, but Melody was only interested in talking about what she wanted to talk about.

“You know, you have a decent bone structure and you’re prettier than your sister. You could be hot if you wore more makeup - dressed a little sluttier. You should try it. You should try acting more like ME and seeing if you like it.  You should live a little, eat some red meat… be a bad girl. It wouldn’t hurt for you to be more of a bitch.”

Annabelle re-wound the recording and listened again… then again… then again.

There was something about Melody’s voice. The poision in those words was soooo fucking hot somehow. Just listening to another girl admit she enjoyed being an evil bitch, that she revelled in her bratty bullying nature made Annabelle think strange thoughts.

You should try acting like a bitch.  You should eat more red meat, you should dress like a slut.

Again and again Annabelle listened to the words. They made her body tingle and made her think things she had never thought before.  Was she just a boring clone of her sister? Was she just a pathetic copy of Sarah, too afraid to think independently and be herself?

You should try acting more like ME.  Eat more red meat…

Annabelle felt her mouth salivate suddenly at the thought of a juicy burger. She hadn’t eaten meat in six years, she had decided it was immoral to eat meat. Eat more red meat. Grabbing her keys and her purse from the counter she snuck out of the front door, Melody’s voice still echoing in her mind.

****

The queue in Five Guys wasn’t very long and Annabelle’s hands trembled as she lifted the hamburger to her salivating mouth. She’d watched them fry the thick patty, the meat sizzling and juices running and now she greedily bit down and moaned, actually making an orgasmic gasp of pleasure, as she tasted the meat.

Fuck… yes…

Mmmmmmmh, Annabelle chewed - a damn seeming to burst inside her and a wicked smile growing on her face as she took another delicious bite. She could do whatever the fuck she wanted. She was all that mattered. If she wanted meat, she’d have meat.  Not too much of course, she had to look after her figure… but even now she could feel the protein filling her up, causing her body to react.

Sarah was short, underdeveloped, anaemic… well Annabelle wasn’t going to fall into the same trap. She was a meat eater now and she loved it. Breaking the taboo, doing something she knew was wrong… evil in fact… just made her feel so fucking… yummy. 

Suddenly she felt guilt. What the fuck was wrong with her? One meeting with Melody and she ready to turn her back on five years of being a vegan. No… this was just a one off, she instantly regretted this and wouldn’t be doing it again.

But deep inside Annabelle knew she didn’t regret it. She was hungry now. Hungry for more.

*******

Annabelle sat on the bus, the recording of Melody’s perfect voice oozing evil into her ears. She’d missed her stop ages ago, now the bus was heading into town - but that was okay. Annabelle wanted to go shopping.

“The first step to being a bitch has always been to look the part. It’s important that you work out, eat healthy, tone up your body. Join a gym, make sure your ass is perfect. You need to show off your body and be proud of it. Clothing is next. You can never dress down, every outfit has to be carefully chosen. You have to look hot all the time. Makeup, nails, hair, full outfit - focus on getting those right and you’ll start to be seen as popular and hot. Personality wise you need to be fake friendly to other girls, but make it clear you’re the bitch… the boss. Bully them if you have to, pick on the weaker ones and make them yours - then bring down the leaders until you’re the dominant Alpha. That’s how I ruled school when your pathetic Mom attended.”

Annabelle’s eyes rolled back in her head as strange visions burned through her mind. Visions that made her feel very good indeed. Smiling, she looked back down at her phone and began to cancel all of her charity subscriptions.  Annabelle had plenty of money, she was a careful saver and she donated most of it to charity.  Now though she had a better use for the money. For herself.

Join a gym, make sure your ass is perfect… every outift has to be carefully chosen.

Annabelle’s mouth repeated Melody’s words without even realising it as she stepped off the bus and walked into the gym.

Make sure your ass is perfect…

***

Annabelle admired her new reflection in the mirror as Melody’s droning voice continued to blare out of the speakers behind her.  She’d thrown out most of her old clothes and adapted now to the short skirts, tight dresses, knee stockings and heavy makeup that she had come to prefer. She no longer looked innocent. She looked like a teasing bitch. 

She looked like Belle.

Annabelle had started to go by Belle a few days ago when she’d decided she needed a hotter name to go with her hotter look.  Her gym membership was starting to pay off - she’d really toned up already. Maybe the diet of meat and protein shakes was paying off too. Even her boobs looked slightly bigger.

She practically salivated as she regarded herself narcissistically in the mirror. “Fuck yes. I'm so much hotter than I used to be. I feel like I'm finally becoming my own person. I’m finally breaking free of my dumb sister.”

Belle's waste paper bin was piled full of books and jotters. She’d needed more room for her makeup and this dumb crap was just in the way. She'd torn down her greenpeace posters and torn her signed photo of Greta Thurnburg in half. She couldn't give a shit about that stuff anymore.

She was rearranging her life. Plastic bags lined the wall, ready to be ditched. They were full of the fugly outfits she used to wear. A lot of them were Sarah's hand-me-downs. Belle wouldn't be seen dead in something that dumb bitch used to wear.

Melody's voice droned on repeat, filling Belle with the delicious thoughts she'd come to enjoy so much. She had an audio file of Melody's greatest sayings. She loved listening to her.

Your sister was always such a fucking loser, but you seem different. Have you done something with your hair? You look fucking hot babe. Those clothes look really good on you too. You know, I'm kinda rich. How about I support you in getting a new wardrobe, a new look? Start dressing like a popular girl and things will happen. You do wanna be popular right? It's more important than being nice. Popularity is ALL that matters.

Belle applied more lip gloss and repeated her new mentors words. Yes… popularity was all that mattered. She couldn't believe she hadn't seen it until now. She couldn't believe she had spent so many years trying to be a Sarah, when she should have been a Melody.

But she was so far behind. She was eighteen and had never been popular before. All those years wasted. All that time she could have been positioning herself to be the hottest girl at school.

She had another session with Melody tomorrow. She couldn't wait. She wanted to learn more.

***

Belle should have felt nervous. But she was just excited. The fact that Jason already had a girlfriend just made this even hotter.

Melody had told her it would feel this way. Her desire to get fucked was both physical and mental. A hunger inside her she needed to fulfil.

She had cummed night after night, rubbing her tight pussy and squirting to the sound of Melody's voice - but she needed the real thing. To truly become Belle she needed to experience cock. She needed to get railed like a bitch.

“Annabelle… ohhh shit we shouldn't be doing this. I didn't know you were like this…”

Belle squeezed his cock, digging her sharp new acrylic fingernails in slightly and making him moan. “I told you… don't call me that. I'm Belle now… and we both know you don't want me to stop right?”

Belle was pumping Jason's big cock slowly up and down, her tiny hand somehow managing to wrap round the magnificent girth. His cock felt great in her hands. 

They had met at his house, everyone was out and Jason’s girlfriend Carlie was hanging out with her friends. 

Belle had chosen Jason because he was fit, sexually experienced, and the most popular boy at college.

“I want you to take my virginity Jason. I want you to fuck me.”

“You're a virgin? I… are you sure you want to do this? I mean we don't have to…”

“Mmmmmh. Does it look like I'm messing around here?” purred Belle as she sank to her knees and slid her hot wet mouth around his cock.

“Holy shit… I thought you were a good girl, a prude.”

Belle giggled. “Not anymore. I'm a dirty fucking slut now baby, and my tight virgin holes need pounding. I wanna learn everything about being a slut. Use my body and fuck my holes as deep as you like till I tell you to stop…”

Jason moaned as Belle resumed her sucking and he knew he was in for a great night…

***

At the dinner table, Sarah watched her sister in barely disguised horror. What the hell had happened to Annabelle?

The girl was eating meat. She had somehow convinced their parents to start eating meat again too, and now the three of them were sat eating juicy steaks whilst Sarah picked at her quinoa salad.

“Mmmmmh dont you fucking love how good this tastes Mom and Dad. You know - I thought vegans were meant to be thin, so it’s kind of mad that Sarah is so fucking fat even though she eats that plant based shit.”

Neither parent said anything, they just looked embarassed. What Sarah didn't know of course was that Belle had evidence their Dad was embezzling money from his company and their Mom was having an affair with the pastor. Their hypocrisy had given her total control of the house and Melody had taught Belle exactly how to leverage this to her advantage.

Sarah just couldn’t believe it. Her once smart, kind, feminist, vegan, sister was now a selfish, bratty bitch and a bully. She almost reminded Sarah of someone else, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it.

“Do you want some steak too Sarah?” giggled Belle as she deliberately tossed a piece onto her sisters plate and watched maliciously for a reaction.

Standing up Sarah pushed her chair under the table and glared at Belle. “What the hell has happened to you Annabelle? You're my sister but you're acting like a total bitch. Im not hungry right now, enjoy your meat.”

Storming off to Belle's laughter Sarah decided she had to act. Something had changed a few months ago to start Belle down this path, but what?

She let herself into her sisters room. It was unrecognisable. Designer clothes hung from racks, a sex toy lay discarded next to the bed… white stains on the bed sheet evidence of where Belle had orgasmed that morning. 

Makeup and perfume covered every available surface, lingerie was stuffed into drawers. How could she afford all this stuff?

Next to the bed was a pair of Bluetooth headphones. They were still connected to Belle's phone. Sarah slipped them on and pressed play.

You're a fucking bitch now Belle and it feels good. You exist now to bully girls like Sarah. You're my little mini-me and you love it. Keep cumming as you listen to my voice and imagine yourself become more evil and bratty. You don't care about anything but yourself anymore. You have become a perfect bitch.

Sarah ripped the headphones off with a gasp. That voice… that evil fucking voice. It was Melody. Her old bully Melody.

“So now you know the truth, sis” giggled a voice behind her and she spun to see Belle standing in the door. 

“Look at you. So fucking pathetic. I can't believe there was ever a time I wanted to be like you. Melody helped open my eyes and show me who I really am.”

Belle advanced into the room with a wicked grin. “Look at me Sarah. I'm so much better than you now. My pussy is tighter, my ass rounder, my boobs bigger. You're a fucking nobody. In a few months I'll have found a rich man to satisfy my needs… just like Melody did.”

“No Annabelle. She's brainwashed you. She always was persuasive, but somehow she's turned you into her puppet. You have to fight this, you have to resist. Can't you see what she is doing?”

Belle just giggled, “Get out of my room loser. I have Jason coming round and then I'm seeing Melody again. Nothing you can say can stop what I'm becoming. Nothing.”

Sarah walked out, tears in her eyes as Belle laughed again. 

Then she caught sight of her reflection in the mirror. She gasped at how evil and wanton she looked. She looked just like… just like Melody.

She's turned you into a puppet.

Belle gripped her temples. Had she just exchanged one role-model for another? Was she being played by Melody?

No one plays you. You're in control. You get to choose who you want to be.

“But this… this isn't who I wanted to be is it?”

The mirror seemed to shimmer and Bella saw herself as she used to be. Sweet, innocent, a little Sarah copy.

We can go back. Go back to how we were. 

Belle hesitated. 

She looked down at her sexy hands and ran them over her toned body. She remembered the taste of cock in her mouth, the feeling of getting fucked. She shivered as she recalled how good it felt to bully other people and get what she wanted.

No. There is no going back. I fucking LOVE being Belle. 

She laughed as she imagined Annabelle being destroyed, consumed and turned into her. She imagined innocent little Annabelle moaning in pleasure as Belle replaced her.  Yesss that’s right loser. You fucking love being me.  You fucking love being a bitch,

“Mmmmh, fuck Sarah AND fuck Melody. The only person who matters is me. I'm the only one who counts. I’m a fucking bitch and I want what Melody has. The power to make others do everything I want. I need that power and I’m going to get it.”

Laughing she opened her phone and messaged Jason.

She had a plan…

***

Belle moaned as Jason mounted her, his hands in her hair and his cock buried deep in her tight pussy.

“Yessss fuck me harder. Tell me how much better I am than everyone else. Tell me what a slut I am.”

Thwap thwap thwap. Sweat dripped down, Belle's sexy boob's bounced and wet smacks filled the air as Jason pounded Belle's incredible body.

She loved the feeling of him sliding in and out. She squeezed her fussy tight, feeling it grip his cock and make him moan. She threw her hips back so he could go even deeper.

In the last few weeks she’d gone from virgin to pornstar.

Jason didnt even bother to fuck his own girlfriend anymore. Life was brilliant. 

But something Sarah had said bothered Belle. That bit about being a puppet. Had Melody just turned her into an extension of her will? Was she still not really her own person?

“Fuck Belle. You're so much better than anyone else. I'd do anything for you. Anything.”

“Anything…?”

Belle's mind was full of ideas. She had a theory, she just needed to test it.

***

Slipping the headphones over Sarah's ears, Belle grinned as her sisters eyes flickered open. Jason was ready though.

He pinned Sarah down and stopped her from struggling as the specially edited tape Belle had made began to play. Melody's hypnotic voice flowed into Sarah's brain.

“You are worthless… pathetic… beta… loser… nothing… subservient… weak…”

Belle watched as her sister tried to fight, and then as her struggles began to slow and her eyes rolled up into her head, she tossed her the sex toy.

“I’m a dumb cunt that serves Belle. A dumb cunt that serves Belle. My little sister is better than me…”

As Sarah began to repeat the words Belle felt herself get wet. Soon there wouldn't be anything left of who Sarah had been. Melody's voice was the key and Sarah had hours of recordings.

She could make Melody pretty much say anything now…

***

Melody didn't remember much after drinking the juice that Belle had fetched for her. By the time she'd realised the little bitch had set her up it was too late.

Melody felt the gag in her mouth and the headphones jammed on her head. Her own voice was telling her things… things she couldn't resist.

She was telling herself that Belle was best. She was the Mistress that Melody needed to serve. Melody existed to serve Belle. She could no longer use her voice except to serve Belle. She could no longer use her voice against Belle. She was the puppet now and Belle was the Mistress. 

No… that wasn't right. Belle was the puppet Melody had created to torment and destroy her old victim Sarah. She wasn't the Mistress. Melody was. 

Only she wasn't. Melody's own voice was telling her that Belle was the Mistress now and Melody's voice was irresistible. She had worked hard to develop her natural powers and learn the mind conditioning techniques that allowed her to make others do what she wanted. She had loved the power.

In hindsight maybe it had been careless to let the girl take so many recordings. Now the power was hers.

No… not the girl.

Her Mistress…

Belle was the Mistress now and Melody was eager to serve her.

***

Belle cleared her throat and laughed with glee as whispered her corrupting words into her lovers ear. He groaned, his loyalty to his wife now totally destroyed as he fucked her deeper and she wrapped her legs around his waist.

“Yessss fuck me deeper Daddy… fuck me like a slut.”

She felt him respond, felt his mouth on her nipples… his thick powerful cock pistoning in and out of her responsive body.  She had cum on his cock twice already and could feel a third time approaching.

It was all so fucking intoxicating.

She had the power now and her voice was sexier and deeper. It had taken Melody very little time to teach her the techniques- she was a gifted student after all. 

And once she was sure she had fully mastered the power - that she could drip corruption into another person and shape them to her whims… her first victim had been Melody. She’d brainwashed her completely until her former mentors voice was entirely stripped of its power. Melody could no longer brainwash people.

Only Belle had that power now.

She could make people do whatever she wanted. Make boys suck dick, girls become bullies or losers… even change Sarah from her kind, loving sister into a cold hearted MAGA supporter - which she had done just for fun.

Her once socially liberal and kind sister was now a regressive cruel bitch just like Belle had wanted.  As for Jason - Belle had gotten bored of him at last. His reward for helping her had been to be programmed into a cocksucking sissy boy for her amusement whilst she began fucking his hunky Dad instead.

That was who was now deep inside her - his loyalty to his son and his wife replaced by an uncontrollable lust for Belle.

Perhaps one day she’d get bored of him too.  After all Belle was a bitch and she was the only one who mattered.

The student had become the teacher and no one was ever going to be better at it than Belle.

THE END

[copperbadge]

Behold, a slightly longer video of the cheese conveyor belt!

This is at Culture & Co. in Nashville, which is incredibly and delightfully the second charcuterie conveyor belt restaurant I've eaten at in the last two years, the other being Pick & Cheese in London.

As with Pick & Cheese I do know myself, so I set out the rule ahead of time that I could only take three plates, and thus I chose with care. First course: "Bruleed Brie" with passion fruit caramel cultured butter. This is a brie-style cheese from Pennsylvania (where my yinzers at) which has had one open side dipped in sugar and then presumably melted with a culinary torch; it looks like jam, but as you can see in the second image, when you tap the brulee it cracks like toffee.

Both the brulee brie and the butter were fantastic; the acid of the passion fruit cuts the sugar and the fattiness a little, but it also really emerges as its own flavor. I think this is the most imaginative way to upgrade brie I've seen in a minute. I kinda wanna try it at home.

Second plate was a Cumblerland "tomme-style" natural rind cheese from Tennessee (specifically Sequatchie Cove) with house made potato chive crackers and rosemary. The real highlight of this cheese is, honestly, the rind -- it has a flavor unique from the rest of the slice, which is much milder and reminded me of a young gouda, almost. The crackers don't look like much but however they make them they were really packed with this nice earthy salty flavor.

For "dessert" I almost went with a vegan cashew-based "Gouda" with shiitake bacon, mainly for the bacon I'll be honest, and you can actually see that plate go by, it's the first one you see in the video up top. Instead I decided to go with...I'm not sure even what kind of cheese this is because it's called GOAT RODEO BAMBOOZLE. I mean, the menu said it was a semi-soft washed rind goat's milk cheese, so there's that.

Normally I avoid goat cheese because I find it very dry texturally, but this was nice, it had that kind of gamey goaty taste but was much more buttery. It came with two pecan shortbread cookies (sandies) and a little cup of root beer caramel, which you can see dripping down a bite of the cheese in the second image. I don't know how you make root beer caramel (sasparilla in the milk?) but it had a nice peppery note to it. I wanted to down it like a shot but resisted.

Anyway, all three were fantastic, not a loser in the bunch, and the wait staff were super pleasant and knowledgeable, so it was a pretty great meal, especially for $30 (including tip).

I don't know who's setting these cheese conveyor belts up across the world but whoever you are, if you bring one to Chicago I will be grateful and I will eat there and bring visiting friends there. Some of my friends even drink wine, so we won't be cheap dates, I promise. We're so close to Wisconsin! Think what you could do with the curds, man, the curds!

[ivystoryweaver]

Hello Ivy! Could I please get some headcanons for marital bliss with the Moon Knight system? Congratulations on 1000! 🌹

Moon Boys Marital Bliss

.✧ ˚ Being married is getting to hang out with your best friend all the time˚ · .✧

Heyyy, thank you so much, I love this prompt!

fluff, domestic life, romance, slightly suggestive, gn Word Count: 625

✧ ˚ · .✧ ˚ · .✧ ˚ · .✧ ˚ · .✧

Steven loves having someone to come home to - someone who made vows to him. It's very grounding for him after a quite confusing existence previously.

Sometimes he gets distracted during his work day just imagining you walking in the door - your scent drifting down the hallway, the timbre of your voice - the allure of your eyes

The cool weight of his wedding band anchors him when he is apart from you and often so easily dismissed by others.

He’ll smile to himself and rub his thumb across it, imagining the way your eyes will sparkle with excitement to see him.

He can’t wait for chance to pull you into his arms and bury his nose in the spot just behind your ear. “Missed you, love.”

Steven is your menu-planning, vegan-shopping, bumping-elbows-while-washing dishes buddy. Dinner is always an adventure (and a mess) with this one.

You’ve never flirted so much while doing chores.

Steven makes life interesting, like an exploration. He's always seeking something - wanting to know more about the world around him, the history before him, and everything that makes you tick, that makes you happy, that makes you fall apart in his bed.

✧ ˚ · .✧ ˚ · .✧ ˚ · .✧ ˚ · .✧

Marc is so so neat. His past taught him to blend in, fade away, disappear into the background

You hear a groan if your jacket hits the chair when you get home. You gladly pick it up because you hate cleaning the bathroom and Marc keeps it spotless

Showers with Marc are sweet or spicy. He always washes your back, caresses your skin and kisses you senseless. It's your favorite place to have his undivided attention.

You love bumping shoulders with him while you brush your teeth. He is a nonverbal communicator, so you relish the chance to watch him the mirror. Those smoldering brown eyes will rake over your form, whether you're in an oversized t-shirt or your best outfit. (or nothing at all)

It's lovely having someone organized and clean - it takes some pressure off, and it's a relief to not have to pick up after someone sloppy.

Marc is intense and devoted - you're the center of his universe and you know it. You could go an entire day without him speaking a word, and you still know. Long fingers brush your arm, heated kisses fall on your neck, longing gazes set you on fire.

And nothing shows you his intensity and devotion more than when you spend all night in his arms.

✧ ˚ · .✧ ˚ · .✧ ˚ · .✧ ˚ · .✧

Ever since you moved into a house with a garage, Jake is in his own little heaven.

You never took your husband for a "man cave" kind of guy, but he loves to tinker with his car, have a drink, watch baseball and get into all sorts of projects

Sometimes you catch him with grease smudged on his forehead - somehow Jake makes any look sexy

He teaches you how to take care of your car - change a tire, stuff like that

Sometimes you bring him a beer and hang on to him. He secretly waits for you to do this - for you to seek him out, to cling to him, to need him

And you do need him. Jake loves to take care of you but he fully understands you can take care of yourself. The trust you give him means everything to him. No one has ever trusted him before now, or even really known him.

He loves the privacy the garage affords him - it helps him recharge his personal battery. But before too long, he'll always conveniently want to show you a thing or two - before he does a thing or two to you in the back seat of his car

✧ ˚ · .✧ ˚ · .✧ ˚ · .✧ ˚ · .✧

1000 Follower/Holiday Celebration Masterlist

Moon Knight Masterlist

Main Masterlist

[servantofthefates]

If life is an experiment, your Uranus is your laboratory.

Uranus in the First House: Your Body

You will likely go through various rebrandings in your life. From nerd to glam. From emo to CEO. It will take you a while to discover what you want your physical vessel to look like.

Uranus in the Second House: Your Wallet

You will likely go back and forth between having an excess of money and having none at all. It will take you a while to figure out the right ingredients for financial stability.

Uranus in the Third House: Your Words

You will likely go through various makeovers in how you speak. From punk to poet. From high street to high-end. It will take you a while to discover how to communicate your true self.

Uranus in the Fourth House: Your Home

You will likely experience an unstable home life. That could mean moving around a lot, or your family changing frequently (e.g., through marriage). It will take you a while to find home as it should be.

Uranus in the Fifth House: Your Joy

You will likely have changing hobbies and interests as you grow. Even to the point of being ashamed of what you previously liked (e.g., a band, a celebrity). It will take you a while to discover what your soul enjoys.

Uranus in the Sixth House: Your Lifestyle

You will likely have drastic changes in routines that relate to your identity. From vegan to carnivore. From fitness buff to couch potato. It will take you a while to realize how you want to experience life.

Uranus in the Seventh House: Your Relationships

Your taste in connections (romantic and more) will likely keep evolving. From light to burdened. From friendly to brooding. It will take you a while to realize what you want and need your people to be like.

Uranus in the Eighth House: Your Morals

You will likely have changing definitions of what is wrong. From seeing things like Satanism and death penalty as evil, to thinking they are good, for example. It will take you a while to define your principles.

Uranus in the Ninth House: Your Faith

You will likely have different beliefs throughout your life. You might keep switching from one religion to another and to none at all. It will take you a while to form a true connection with a higher power.

Uranus in the Tenth House: Your Reputation

You will likely have different ranks in society throughout your life. From pleb to socialite. From royalty to nobody. It will take you a while to decide how you want the world to see you in this lifetime.

Uranus in the Eleventh House: Your Community

You will likely be a part of vastly different groups throughout your life. From religious fanatics to agnostic intellectuals. From celebrities to nuns. It will take you a while to discover where you belong in life.

Uranus in the Twelfth House: Your Pain

You will likely have different ideas of what hurts. You could go from crying at the sight of war-torn countries to shrugging about their plight. It will take you a while to decide on what is fair and unfair in this life.

In Whole Sign Houses, my Uranus is in the Ninth. I was raised Catholic. But in truth, I was mostly agnostic. At a fairly young age, I discovered Greco-Roman paganism from my elders who practice it in semi-combination with Christianity. Then in college, I had to pretend to be an atheist around judgmental religious fanatics who hated witchcraft. Now I am a practicing pagan who follows my ancestors' writings over my living elders' teachings. Can you also feel your Uranus manifesting?

Related: If life is a battlefield, your Mars is your weapon.

[cheriladycl01]

Baby, can you call me back? I miss you... its so lonely in our mansion - Lewis Hamilton x Model! Reader

Plot: You are the 'IT GIRL' of celebrities right now. Dating older F1 driver cooks up a storm.

Warnings: Age Gap, Established relationship, Smut (Consisting off Unprotected Sex, Fingering, P In V etc.) Minors Do Not Interact 18+

You were currently waiting for Lewis to come home, it was the Monaco GP and you'd left early during his debrief as you were sporting a slight headache from all the excitement.

He knew you'd be there and he knew you were waiting for him. You were sort of a current century IT girl.

That happens when you are on the cover of vouge and in big blockbuster movies alongside modelling for Versace and other big brands that wanted your name.

You were all the talk in the media for the past few years, especially where you were dating Lewis Hamilton. He was 10 year older than you, but he treated you well. Even though you were 23 when you and Lewis started dating, people still seemed to treat you like you were made of glass. Yes, that was probably more to your high profile status and the fact that you're in the public eye.

Lewis treated you like an adult and you loved it, he wasn't in the relationship for publicity or just for a quick time. He had met you at exclusive party that you happened to be at as well as some of the 2018 F1 drivers.

Now in the middle of 2024 and Mercedes had a rocketship for a car, Lewis was on track for winning his 8th World Champion, you and Lewis had been together for 7 years now and what an interesting 7 years it had been. You'd been there for him winning 3 of his championships, seeing him get robbed of his 8th and then have a shit car for the next two seasons while Red Bull seem to be in a horrible sort of domination.

He'd won in Monaco today sharing a Podium with Lando Norris, who was actually his biggest competition this year. Mclaren came out on top, right now it was Mercedes Mclaren and Ferrari dancing around each other and then Red Bull who focused on their 2025 car too early and didn't do enough work with the 2024 car.

The door to the home opens and in walks your beautiful husband.

"How's my race winner" you smile at him, walking over to him slowly. He hangs the keys up to his car on the hook before his hands wrap around your waist pulling you into a hug. He nuzzles his face into your neck, his arms travelling up to stroke your soft hair, running down to the side of your face to hold your face steadily in his hand.

"I haven't stopped thinking about you all day!" he offers, pushing your hair back behind your ear before leaning in, kissing you softly.

"You were thinking about me when you were racing?" you ask with a smirk, stepping closer into him so your arms are able to hold his upper arms, helping you lean up to place a soft, yet sensual kiss on the corner of his mouth.

"I'm always thinking about you baby" he mumbles looking you up and down.

"Well, I think my World Champion deserves a reward!" you smile, grinning at him.

"Mmmmm what kind of reward, I can think of 20 things I'd settle for right now" he admits biting his lip.

"Well, I don't know about you but your fav vegan dish is in the oven. I can run you a nice hot bath and give you a massage, or we can take Rossi on a walk, or we can watch a movie and cuddle.." you say leaning closer into him.

"Hmmmmm, that all sounds very good. But first i want you!" he says pulling into you. He pulls you up so your legs are wrapped around his waist and your arms around around the back of his head. He holds you up while pulling you into a kiss.

He walks you into the bedroom and places you down on the bed, making you bounce into the plush duvet and cushions. You lean up and you elbows moving back a little while Lewis crawls on top of you.

"Such a pretty baby!" he says, as he reaches round the back to unzip the black silk dress you were wearing. He tugs it down, throwing it onto the bedroom floor, a groan coming from him as he sees the matching black set that was on underneath.

He couldn't help but think that you'd been looking that delectable all day, and it didn't help and wouldn't help any future thoughts of what you wore on race days.

"God, Y/N!"

"Lew, come on" you groan, as his hands run up and down the curves of your body. Eventually his fingers work their way around your underwear, while his other hand goes behind you arching back to undo your bra. He skillfully undid it with the one hand while his other focused on your clit.

Your thighs squeezed together in anticipation as you feel his finger on your clit speed up. A gasp comes from you and your hand reaches down to hold his wrist.

"Lewis, i need you please!" you groan as his mouth encases around your left nipple and starting to suck and bite at it leaving hickies along the curve of your breast.

You feel movement on the bed, you look down to see him grinding against the mattress.

"Come here..." you moan and he crawls up the bed. His hand doesn't leave, going the step further and pushing one finger in. You reach down palming him through his trousers.

"Fuck baby, just like that" he groans adding another finger while leaning into your neck and kissing up and along it.

"Just take those pants off" you moan, looking up at him. He shakes his head, adding a third finger going faster.

"You gotta cum for first darling" he breathes out, you gasp watching him closely.

Lewis always put your pleasure first, that was one of the highlights of your relationship is that he always wanted you happy and content, as he would say that it made him happy and content.

He lived by the happy wife happy life memo religiously.

You feel that familiar coil built up and with the way you start moving Lewis speeds up knowing that your close.

"Lewis, Lewis fuck" you gasp as that sensation is released. You breathing slows as you come down.

"Okay, my turn" you say sitting up on your knees, squishing your thighs together.

"I can't wait, for that baby. Gotta be in you now!" he whimpers. He pulls you up so that your against the headboard, he lays you down before positioning himself above you.

He sinks all the way in, the both of you moaning and groaning as you feel every inch of him inside of you. Each ridge, every edge you can feel against your walls as you push further against him to get him deeper. He bottoms out with a sigh of happiness partially collapsing against you.

"I love you Lew, and im so thankful I'm yours" you admit with a gasp as he starts moving back and forth, the thrusts making lewd noises as he grips your hips.

"Say it again!" he exclaims looking at you in the eyes, one of his hands moving from your hip up to your cheek.

"I'm yours Lew, all yours!" you moan arching up into him and clenching.

"I love you so much darling. Fuck" he moans, nipping and biting against your collarbone as he starts to thrust quicker into you. Your own grip tightens on him as that same feeling from earlier resurfaces but more violent.

Your eyes screw shut, the moans coming from you mouth is like music into Lewis' ears. He wishes he could have it as his ringtone, or playing to him before a race. Even during a race, that for sure would make him finish a race quicker knowing he could see you quicker and stuff you full.

"Baby I'm gonna cum" he groans right into your ear making you twitch and attempt to thrust up into him. He holds you still putting pressure on your stomach making you gasp loudly and try to sit up.

"Cum baby, cum in me" you cry, tears start to stream down your face.

"Oh fuck baby" you cry and clench hard round him as he hits that spongey spot that just feels so good. You release with a whine and head thrown back, while Lewis follows helping you both ride out your high.

He collapses on top of you staying sunk inside of you. He kisses you, whispering stuff to you about what he loves, making little plaits in your hair as he goes.

Maybe waiting for Lewis in your mansion wasn't so bad after all.

A/N: This is my first smut on this account, so it will get better when i know what i feel comfortable putting out there!

Taglist:

@littlesatanicassholebitch @hockey-racing-fubol @laura-naruto-fan1998 @22yuki @simxican @sinofwriting @lewisroscoelove @cmleitora @stupidandunnecessary @clayra-g @daemyratwst @honey-belden @moonypixel @lauralarsen @vader-is-hot @ironcowboycopnickel @itsjustkhaos @the-untamed-soul @beebo86 @happylittlereader @ziejustme @lou-larcher5 @thewulf @purplephantomwolf @chasing-liberosis @chillyleclerc @chanthereader @annoyingmoonballoon @summissss @evieepepi08 @havaneseoger08 @celesteblack08 @gulphulp @fandom1ruined2me @celebstories @starfusionsworld @jspitwall @sierruhh @georgeparisole @dakotatankbig @youcannotcancelquidditch @zzonsbeek @tallbrownhairsarcastic @mellowarcadefun @ourteenagetragedy @otako5811 @countingstacksandpanicattacks @peachiicherries @formulas-bitch @cherry-piee @hopexcroc @mirrorball-6 @spilled-coffee-cup @mehrmonga @bigsimperika @blueberry64857959 @eiraethh @lilypadlover @curseofhecate @alliwantisadonut @the-fem1n1ne-urge @21stcenturytaegi @dark-night-sky-99 @spideybv28 @i-wish-this-was-me @tallrock35 @butterfly-lover @barnestatic @landossainz @darleneslane @barcelonaloverf1life @r0nnsblog @ilove-tswizzle @kapsylia @laneyspaulding19 @lazybot @malynn @cassielikereading @viennakarma

[icyg4l]

Who Is Your Next Crush?

Hello beautiful people, I am back with a new tarot reading! From now on, you can expect me to post 2-3x every week unless said otherwise. I also am open for readings so if you would like one, please don’t be afraid to book with me. Privately message me if you have any questions! Please refer to my guidelines if you are interested in a reading. Without further ado, please select the pile that resonates with you!

Pile One: "You fit the criteria" is what I heard as I was shuffling. It feels like you do not have a specific type. You're someone who just likes "hot people." But this person is about to rock your world. There's something about you that has gone unexplored. This person will help you explore what you truly desire. I feel like you and this person have a lot of support outside of the relationship between you and them. Everyone ships you two together. This person is either a fire or water sign. They're tall and could play sports or be into drawing. I am channeling the energy of Troy and Gabriella. If you're still in high school, this may be your high school sweetheart. If not, then you may be in the midst of a transitional period where you're still figuring it out. This person will see you go through lots of changes and phases for as long as they're in your life. Your person looks really good in yellow. They have a liking for vegetables, could potentially be vegan/vegetarian. It feels like this person is someone that is very practical. They like structure and routine, but they're always down to have a good time. Now, you could be suspicious or nervous about what this connection brings to you. This feels like both a physical and an emotional connection. However, it all depends on the vibes that you give off. Do you want to be in a relationship or do you want to just mess around? It's all up to you. Don't be shy/scared. Be bold.

Cards Used: Princess of Cups, The Tower, King of Wands, 4 of Discs, 8 of Discs, Death, 6 of Discs, Strength

Pile Two: This person is very attractive, Pile Two. I feel like your person has Capricorn, Aquarius or Pisces placements. They are very blessed down there. They also have a nice ass. But the thing about them is that they come off as emotionally distant. To you, this could come off as mixed signals. They could come from a family that did not allow them to show affection of any form. But they do have money and beauty which is what will draw you to them. Thus person could come off as reckless or anxious. They may be unsure of what it is that they want. They could possibly have an injury or some type of disability (i.e. on crutches, wheelchair, arm sling, etc). It feels like this person is going through something at the moment. This person values their money a lot. They could have 2H placements. This person could also be a public speaker, a rapper or singer. I heard "protecting the assets." This person is someone that doesn't have many friends, but they are very close to their mother. They value her opinion a lot. Lastly, you and this person will not be in each other's lives for long. You shouldn't try to tie yourself down at this time. Explore your options. If you spot a red flag, move along. There's a lot more people who deserve your time and attention.

Cards Used: 5 of Cups, Ace of Discs, The Empress (RX), Queen of Cups (RX), 9 of Swords, 10 of Cups (RX), 4 of Wands,

Pile Three: If you've been noticing that someone from the past looks a little too good, then just know it's time to spin again. This person could be going through their Venus return right now. I feel like this could be someone that you planned a future with, or you imagined a future with them. There is some form of rejection with them. You guys could have different values/goals. This person is very future/goal-oriented. They do not like short-term relationships/flings, it bothers them deeply, lol. They fear their time being wasted, so if you see them being prideful or reluctant is because they are scared. They've been doing a lot of shadow work surrounding commitment in relationships & it's been reflecting in their behaviors/looks. In other words, the inner work is reflecting on the outside! This person is a hard worker could come off as a bit uptight but they can be very playful once they feel comfortable around you. I am getting Virgo/Saturn energy heavy with this person. I feel that you will end up with this person, but it will be a slow burn. It's not that they don't like you. They just have issues trusting people, but once you gain their trust, you will have cracked the code!

Cards Used: 5 of Swords, 10 of Cups, Prince of Discs, The Magician, 9 of Cups, 10 of Cups, Queen of Cups, Judgment, The Hierophant, 5 of Cups, King of Cups, King of Discs, 9 of Swords.

[brnesblogposts]

sunday morning

pairing: steven grant x reader summary: you and your boyfriend Steven spend a lazy Sunday morning together.

reblogs appreciated if you liked it :))

—

The sun slowly breaks through the gaps in the curtains as you start to stir. Drifting in and out of a state of sleep as your body adjusts to the light seeping through. Looking over to your right your curly haired boyfriend looks peaceful as gentle snores escape his lips. Steven’s sleeping disorder didn’t allow for proper respite, but when he did get into a deep state of solace you left him be.

You watched him for a few minutes as his chest rose and fell, his curls awry, your love for him was stronger than any emotion you’ve ever known. Gently removing his arm from your waist he stirred and your breath got caught in your throat as you thought you’d accidentally woken the peaceful man up. To your relief he repositions himself into more of a star fish shape. Gently getting out of bed you head to the bathroom to shower before you were to decide what you would both be having for breakfast.

Stepping out of the shower you put one of Steven’ shirts on and a comfy pair of joggers. Today was Sunday and these days were for you and your boyfriend to spend quality time together. Coming out of the bathroom, to your dismay you see Steven at the stove preparing some of his famous vegan pancakes. You’d wished he’d slept a bit longer. Trying your best not to startle him you approach him from behind and carefully wrap your arms around his waist.

“Morning” you say softly, taking in his warmth.

“Morning, love” he replies as his hands meet where yours lay on his stomach.

“How’d you sleep?” you ask as he flips a pancake over.

“Yeah, pretty good actually, one of the better nights for me” he says with a smile. Oh his smile, you adored how his lips curled up and his eyes lit up.

You press a soft kiss to his lips, “I’m glad you slept well, you deserve to be able to rest peacefully.” you say as a tint of red creeps up his face. He pulls you into a hug, cutting it short..

“Oh bollocks this pancake is a bit burn’t.” he frowns a bit, but you quickly reassure him

“That’s okay I did distract you a bit. Don’t think we’ll miss one pancake, you make enough to feed a family!” he giggles at that.

“Always need to make sure I offer Gus some don’t I?” he turns to Gus swimming around in his tank.

“Speaking of, morning my little one finned wonder” he smiles. Oh he was the most adorable man in the world. You leave him to make the pancakes with no more distractions and set the table, syrup, chopped banana, vegan butter.. you weren’t a vegan before you met Steven, but at this point it was second nature.

You ate in silence, Steven’s pancakes piled with banana and a bit of syrup, he didn’t like too much or they’d go soggy.

“How are Marc and Jake?” you ask, you and his alters got a long well, Marc more so as Jake was the quiet type.

“No, yeah, they’re good, yeah. Marc bets he could make better pancakes than me, but I say that’s nonsense. Jake just nodded in approval to say he’s good, you know him.. not much of a conversationalist” he let out a little laugh at that. Once you’d both finished eating you cleared up while he showered and got dressed into a white t-shirt and fresh pajama bottoms.

“Darling” he calls out.

“Yeah?” you respond from your place at the sink.

“Want to watch a movie?” he asks shyly, you’ve been together a few months and knew everything about him and his alters, Konshu and everything. yet he was still shy around you. It was cute.

“Yeah i’d love to! anything in mind?” He paused for a second, tapping his index finger on his chin while deep in thought.

“AVATAR!” he bursts out excitedly. You hadn’t actually seen avatar before you met Steven, as soon as he found out he was quick to invite you over for a movie date.

“Sounds great! Love that film.” you emphasised, Steven tended to worry that you agreed to do things with him out of pity, he was very insecure about himself despite you, Marc and Jake reassuring him that he was an amazing man. It didn’t matter what you were watching, reading or doing, if Steven was with you and enjoying himself that’s all that mattered. You loved every minute with him.

He flicked on avatar as you finished the dishes and headed to the couch, where he patted the spot next to him. You cuddled into his side as he layed a blanket over the both of you, he wrapped his arms around you and rested his chin on your head.

“Thank you.” he says out of the blue, which causes you to look up at him.

“For what love?” you asked softly as not to make him feel bad or anything.

“For loving me, accepting me for everything that I am. The mess that I am. Staying up with me and reading to and with me, you know people at work are rude to me, Donna’s a right knobhead towards me. I used to let her get to me, everytime she mocked me or put me on inventory, but now? with you. I don’t care what anyone thinks of me.. because I have the most amazing person who loves everything about me and that’s all that matters. I love you so much y/n.” he says with a softness in his features, you don’t say anything, you take him into the tightest hug which silently tells him what he already knows deep down. He strokes his hand through your hair as you embrace him.

“I love you, Steven.” you say as you sit back from the hug and look at him, taking his face into your hands. “Listening to you ramble about Egypt and Pharaoh’s, your work days and anything else. I could listen to you talk about anything for hours. You’re the funniest person i’ve ever met, the kindest, sweetest man who makes me feel like the only person in the world everyday. Donna doesn’t deserve you, the museum doesn’t deserve you. You’d be the BEST tour guide if they just let you. The way your face lights up when you talk about Egyptology, I can see the love for the topic in your eyes. There’s no one else more suited for the job than you.

Tears are welling up in his eyes and you wipe them away with your thumbs, landing a soft kiss on his nose. He really was the most intelligent man you’d ever met, intuitive and with a heart of gold. Steven would never hurt a fly, Marc and Jake are more of the fighter types, but Steven. He’s a lover, he wants to make people happy and to see them smile, that’s his gift. He saved your life that’s for sure, you’re the happiest you’ve ever been since meeting him.

Settling back into his chest you take his hand in yours and rub your thumb over his palm.

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me” he says and with that he presses play. You squeeze his hand to silently tell him that you feel the same.

About halfway into the movie you felt his body relax, he was falling asleep. Good, you thought. He needs as much sleep as possible, you didn’t move, knowing if you did you’d disturb him, you watched the rest of the movie as he snored quietly from beneath you. Once the movie finished you switched the tv off, Steven started to wake up, causing you to sit up. He took your hand and took you to the bed, laying down he pulled you in front of him, wrapping his arms around your waist, an afternoon nap wasn’t a bad idea, it was Monday tomorrow, the beginning of another long tiring week, especially for Steven. you settled into him as his form engulfed you.

“You feel like home” is the last thing you hear before he drifts off, feeling safe enough to fall asleep knowing you’re right there with him. He hasn’t put his ankle restrains on this time, but he knows you’d notice if he got up. His words touch your heart, you’ve never been so in love.

“You are home” you respond, squeezing his arm that’s securely wrapped around you. With that, you both fall asleep. Feeling the safest you’ve ever felt, knowing you’ve found your other half in Steven.

[dira333]

dira my darling!

can i request a fluffy plotbunny with bakugo? something with casual dominance, bc i would love to have someone boss me around. like,, he says sit and im sat? Im very bossy/pushy overall so a bf that's casually dominant and who i dont have to think around or help lead like i do everything else would be a dream come true xD

thank you for being so kind as to share your amazing pieces with us!!!!

*Pretending I have the time to write by eating my lunch in front of the computer* It's called Multi-Tasking

Also, I've had a hard time with this prompt because it feels like it's skirting along the line of suggestiveness, or is that just me being weird?

Going back in time...

"Stay," a voice whispers as you get up, warm lips pressed against the shell of your ear. "I'll get your drink."

"If only you'd listen to someone else like that," your best friend scoffs the moment you're seated again.

"Hah?" You ask, hackles rising.

"You know exactly what I'm referring to," Mina scoffs yet again, staring you down. Or at least, she's trying.

Your best friend of almost twenty years might just be as bossy as you are, but that doesn't mean you bow to her whims. Like she'd do it for you...

"What are we talking about?" Kirishima leans in, propping his head on his girlfriend's shoulder.

"How my best friend in the world does not listen to me." Mina points one pointy nail at you. "Especially considering I'm the one planning her surprise party."

"Please," you scoff, "like it could have been a surprise. You could never keep a secret from me. I'm just taking care of it."

"Bakugo!" Mina calls for the kitchen where your fiancé went seconds ago to get you another drink. "Help me here! Your fiancée's still trying to weasel her way into planning her own surprise party."

"Like hell, I'm helping you," Bakugo scoffs, looking down his nose at her. "And if my Baby doesn't trust your taste, I fully trust hers." He leans down to kiss you, pressing the glass into your hands.

"But I'm getting the flowers tomorrow."

"But-" You try to intervene but one look from him has you silent.

"See!" Mina asks Kirishima, pointing at the two of you. "One look and she shuts up. It never works when I do it."

"Yeah, but it's Bakugo," Kirishima offers like it's all the explanation needed.

-

"Do you ever listen to somebody?" Bakugo asks, raspy morning voice cutting through the Silence. You barely keep yourself from flinching, but the smirk on his lips tells you that he noticed. It seems he loves surprising you the most, mainly because you pride yourself in not getting surprised.

"I listen to a lot of people," you claim as you return to checking the Buffet table. You'd asked for Vegan Options and an egg-free dessert for the new secretary. Sweet-tooth, but highly allergic. It happens.

"You hear them," he says, "but you don't listen. Because I definitely heard Yukon tell you that he had the Buffet under control yet you're checking his work."

"And rightly so," you point out. "We're missing the egg-free dessert option."

"So?"

"So? I asked for it. He said he'd get it done. Do I have to do everything myself here? Apparently so."

"Sit down," he orders calmly, and you'd maybe wonder about his lack of temper had you not experienced him being like that around you for the last three years. Apparently, Bakugo turns into the chillest little prankster you could think of, but only around you. "I'll get it done."

You want to say something, but you decide against it. You've seen Bakugo deal with other stuff before, stuff that was definitely more important than getting an egg-free dessert for the new secretary. You know he can get this done.

"Fine," you huff, "But make it quick. I still need to go over the new recruits with you."

"Have I ever kept you waiting?" He asks as he turns away, leaving you flustered.

-

"Maybe we should appoint her for Class President," Sato offers quietly, but not quietly enough. "She's managed to talk Mina down in less than five seconds and it doesn't look like she takes shit from anyone."

"The title of Class President is-"

A loud boom interrupts whatever Iida has tried to say. When the smoke clears, there's only a small force field keeping Bakugo from strangling Kaminari, who looks a lot less frightened than anyone in his position should be.

"Calm down, will you?" You ask, looking down at Bakugo from where you're standing. Keeping up the force field is taking its toll, but you'd rather puke than admit to it. Not in front of Bakugo at least. "Aren't you better than that?"

Surprisingly, that seems to work. He calms down quickly, leaning back in his chair with a scoff. "True." He says, but his blood-red eyes don't leave you. It feels like a Challenge. One you're not sure you'll win.

[necropaint]

My Personal Alastor Headcanons

Not because I'm a simp or anything ahahahah.... All SFW aside from some cursing of course. :)

I am sleep deprived and stupid so some of these maybe shit and have terrible spelling errors. My mind is running at 3% and some of these were spontaneously made up because that's how my mind works. Enjoy.

📻 Viv let us play with Alastor's sexuality and so I hc he is demisexual (totally not me projecting and basing it off my own experiences, nahhhh...) and he rarely falls for anyone, but when he does he falls HARD.

• That being said, the flirtation begins. He is terrible at it... He respects boundaries and is incredibly respectful but he 100% butchers pickup lines because he genuinely thinks our generation likes those.

- "If you were a vegetable you would be a cucumber."

- "Do you have an extra heart? Mine was stolen."

- Can demons have strokes? That's probably what you are saying

- Angel Dust hears and DIES. Surprisingly gives some solid advice.

- "Stop with the pick-up lines. Just be yourself and it'll work, trust me, ya weirdo..."

- So he does. AKA secretly follows you, will randomly spawn to open doors for you or pull out chairs, chivalry isn't dead, dear! Also tells you about his grizzly murders in his lifetime, if anyone disrespects you prepare for your knight in shoulder pads, will be slick and dedicates one of his radio shows to you and plays an old song from his day. Makes you SWOON. Angel is proud.

- Also likes dates to Cannibal Town and introduces you to Rosie. She thinks you are the cutest thing in the world, prepared to be coddled by both.

📻 He likes to play dress up with you if you let him. Picking out your wardrobe is SO fun for him.

📻 Is a top tier cook. Usually prefers meat and will cook that for you, but if he finds out you are a vegan/pescitarian/etc he will do that. Gets excited when you compliment his cooking.

📻 HE HAS A SECRET TAIL HE IS ASHAMED OF AND I WILL NOT HIDE IT. I LOVE WHEN POWERFUL CHARACTERS HAVE A MILD INCONVENIENCE THAT MAKES THEM LESS SCARY.

📻 He learns words and if it's not from Rosie... Be prepared because it gets bad and gets cringe.

- "Ah! Darling, I heard some demons today as I was on a stroll, they were from your era. What is a mee-mee?"

- "I see... I see. They also said the word "gyatt" to a woman, I assume that is a compliment, so my dear, you have a-"

- You stop him right there, explains what that means and he short circuits. He walks over to the corner and just places his head against it. "I would like to be alone for a while..."

- "If mama knew I said this she would beat my ass to next Tuesday..."

📻 I know it says he's not big on touch but I HC he really doesn't care. He never seems to show any recoil from it, but maybe its just if its strangers?

📻 Will educate you on everything he knows on the macabre and morbid.

📻 Will FORCE you to sit down and check out vintage stuff. Watching TV? Not anymore, there is a microphone cane through it. Charlie has bought you like six phones now...

📻 He is overall an attention seeking puppy.

📻 Does things that get him praise. He WANTS his ego boost and knows you'll give it to him.

📻 Gossips with you about everyone and anything, listens to you rant and will give some genuinely good advice unless its like about an ex or something.

- "Simple, dear! Just kill them."

📻 Jokingly (?) tries to get you to sell your soul to him.

- "All in jest, don't worry! I think the look on your face is HILARIOUS!"

📻 If he sees you upset he tries to make you smile.

📻 If you are short he will put things on the top shelf and stifle a laugh as he watches you try to get it. Bless Husk and Angel for getting it for you.

📻 Angel is the only male he doesn't really have a problem with, hence when he hears about Valentino he has a bit of anger, also just because he thinks hes gross and perverse. Someone like that doesn't deserve to be breathing.

📻 Whiskey is his forte. VERY picky with his drinks, he doesn't like the cheap stuff like Husk does. A lot of people say he drinks wine but I imagine he only likes the hard stuff.

📻 He is the type of man to leave the toilet seat up. Vaggie has voiced her opinions on it.

📻 When he got Niffty out of that toilet he probably waited until the bubbles almost stopped. He's a little bit of an asshole.

📻 Actively pranks Husk. Someone save the cat-man...

- Switches his alcohol with non-alcoholic and sees how long it takes him to realize or get drunk even though he's not.

- Plays poker against him but will actively cheat to make sure he wins 100% of the time.

- Puts cucumbers down to scare the shit out of him.

📻 Since he is a deer demon (a Stag at that) he is VERY territorial, especially of the Hotel. This is HIS home. Will never admit it though.

📻 ✨Sweet Southern Boy✨ (Not really a HC I just wanted to say that, nor is he really sweet)

📻 He hides his accent. It will come out though when he is extremely extremely angry or when he is extremely relaxed.

📻 Will wake you up by staring in your face, you may or not have screamed once.

📻 Bullies Sir Pentious. He's still pissed about him ripping his tailcoat and he holds a grudge.

📻 Also not a headcanon but doesn't mind personal space, will come into the bathroom as you shower for conversation and draw on the steamed mirror. If you ask him to stop he will and completely understands.

📻 Sits and stares at a wall sometime.

📻 Gets everyone to taste his coffee, it is mostly coffee grounds.

📻 Has ate a dog demon on more than one occasion. Unapologetically.

📻 You know those compilations of like people getting hurt on youtube? If he used the internet that shit would be the funniest thing in the world to him.

📻 Uses 1920s slang to confuse everyone.

📻 Jealous.

- Plationic: Um... He's your best friend, right? Why are you giving attention to others when he is RIGHT THERE. Oh? They can do that, well he can do it ten times better. Watch what else he can do! Yeah, he's the coolest, right?

- Romantically: Time to butt heads and flex every possible way. Will RUIN the person's confidence, the psychological warfare begins. He is the better one and he must make it known. If they start flirting with you, blood will be spilled.

📻 When people try and lecture him it goes in one ear and out the other.

📻 His hair tufts are his ears, that may actually be canon, not sure.

- If he gets comfortable enough and you scratch behind they he MELTS. It scared him at first but once he first fell asleep it was nice.

📻 Will tell you about his mother constantly. Bases a lot of his morals and being a gentleman off how his mother taught him and treats women like ✨queens✨

📻 I HC one of his biggest problems with Lucifer and why they had tha number was because he was absent in Charlie's life so much and since his dad left him and his mother he believes absent fathers are the worst. He believes you have an obligation AS A FATHER to be the best you can be and raise your child.

- Absent father? Will bully so hard. He hates them to a fault, even if it wasn't their fault. He refuses to take criticism on it and its one of the things he is most stubborn about. Man got some daddy issues he doesn't want to talk about.

📻 His daddy issues lead to abandonment issues.

📻 His mom passing away will make him be extra attentive if someone he cares about is sick.

- Will check in and only really care if it's the girls.

- Will probably tell the guys to suck it up. Rip.

📻 Touch and affection starved and just doesn't show it. I don't care if it's not in character, let me project my issues in peace.

📻 Says the most out of pocket shit just for shock value.

📻 Rosie teaches him things he isn't allowed to say.

📻 His favorite body part to eat is the heart. He thinks it's poetic.

📻 Owns a record player because of course he does.

- If you want him to try modern day music, you best be getting vinyls.

- If you pull up Spotify he will feel betrayed.

- "So... My radio show isn't good enough? You need some... Application to play music for you?"

- Will guilt trip you and not feel bad. You already use phones and social media, like... Will only indulge if you play HIS type of music, and even then he will bitch about how it sounds better on the record player and how he play it on his show instead.

- I clearly know nothing about how radio shows work and I don't care.

⚠️Mildly suggestive depending on who you are:

📻 Likes boobs, he just likes sleeping on them. He was a mama's boy and he probably rested his head on his mother's chest all the time growing up.