dyinbymistake

[dyinbymistake]

THE END GODDHSGSHX

october 22

the bedframe creaked. music leaked in through the small crack in the door. the headboard hitting the wall with each rough movement. his hands were all over you, lips caressing your skin so softly, a large contrast to the way he pounded into you. his eyes never left yours, pupils dilated and wild.

you don't know how you even got in this situation. it was a small party for his album release, a private one just for close friends and some family, but somehow you both had stumbled down the hallway and into his room, which reminded you of another thing. the door wasn't locked, and it was open just the tiniest amount. but, still, anyone could walk in. the idea only made your situation hotter, the thrill making adrenaline pump through your veins.

his hair was messy, but you didn't mind because it was your doing. you didn't care if he still had to go out there and greet people. your hands resided at his back now, clawing at his soft skin and leaving marks that would for sure ache afterwards. he sucked in a breath as you clenched around him, hips stuttering for a moment as he buries his head in the crook of your neck. his soft moans and breaths fall right into your ear, giving you access to even the smallest sounds that would leave his lips.

"close?" he slurs, eyes rolling back as you buck your hips in time with his thrusts. you stutter something, followed by a hum as your nails dig deeper into his skin, "need you to cum with me, baby." he speaks softly, lips leaving a wet trail of kisses from your collarbone to your own lips, swollen from biting them over and over again, "my present. please?"

"fin—fuck." you sigh, toes curling as your body convulsed beneath his own. one hand leaves his back, coming up to pull at his hair, eliciting a string of moans that consisted of your name and pleas for you to cum with him. your dress was bunched around your waist, his hands keeping it from falling and denying him access to your sweet pussy, "the—mm.. door."

he shakes his head, clearly not giving a single fuck if someone saw or not. his family knew not to come in without knocking, and his friends definitely would think twice before even grabbing the doorknob. you clench tighter around him, and when one of his hands comes down to circle your clit, you finally break with a loud moan. it was definitely heard from outside of the room, but all that was running across your mind at the moment was finneas. finneas. finneas.

his own orgasm hits him like a train, stars flashing behind his eyelids as he grunts softly, hips slapping against yours and creating a rhythm. all that he can speak is your name, his mind solely on you as he feels your grip on his hair tighten, nails dragging down his back again as the feeling starts to become too much. the door creaks, but neither of are really in the right headspace to even hear it.

"oh shit."

billie nudges you with a cheeky smile on her face, watching as you comb your fingers through your hair in an effort to make yourself look a little more presentable. she snickers, and that's when you finally give her the satisfaction of a small glance, "my brother, huh?" she giggles like a little girl, an emotion hidden in her eyes that you can't quite catch.

"shut up." you whisper, rolling your eyes as your face flushes a deep shade of red. you cross your arms over your chest before looking away. as you do, though, you feel billie come closer, her hands snaking down your waist and tapping the thin fabric of your dress. she scoffs, her lips dangerously close to your ear. your eyes stay trained on finneas as he talks to rat, laughing along with the boy as he sips on his drink.

"gettin' the best of both worlds, isn't that right?"

@sturnl0ve @eilishslut @zayluvss @hrtsdollie

KINKTOBER

[dyinbymistake]

male fantasy

i got a call from a girl i used to know,

we were inseparable years ago.

constance evermore.

oh how billie loved that girl when she was a teenager, she loved her so much she wished she could’ve held onto her tighter and never let her go into the bad world they lived in alone.

constance and billie were close friends growing up, both of the two bonded over having a interest in the musical arts. as billie had said many times, one of her choir teachers never liked her, but he did like constance which is a reason for bringing the two so close.

and ever since the friendship blossomed. throughout the whole beginning of her career constance was there. never leaving billie’s side until an argument drove the two of them to fall apart. constance was so hurt and betrayed and yet billie was feeling the same way. so bad she mentioned it briefly in a song or two.

and it was all over a stupid boy

and that was years ago, it was now october 20, 2024, specifically 12:21 am. constance was in west hollywood with a few friends at some random party, she had no clue who’s it was but she didn’t care until someone behind her mentioned billie now she didn’t even wanna be there, so she left.

the thing was they never said billie was at the party. just the mention of her name ruined her mood. it’s been five fucking years since they last talked and she wasn’t over it. i mean how could she be? half the internet knows verses from male fantasy is about her.

and tv is one thousand percent about her. she knows it herself, everyone does. but no one knows why. everyday those two nights the songs were based on were on her mind and it always brought her to tears.

guilt never leaving and she just wished she never made that phone call. maybe she would’ve been long moved on by now.

like billie was.

constance shivered as she sat on the curb and her cheeks stained with tears mixed with mascara and glitter.

straight out of euphoria type shit

DECEMBER 6, 2018

constance sat next to the blue haired girl. her legs rested on top of her best friend. the two were backstage of a concert billie was invited to. and unfortunately her boyfriend was there.

much to billie’s dismay. constance and q didn’t get along, like ever. but billie being billie never let anyone tell her anything. so constance always kept her thoughts to herself because she hated when billie was mad at her.

but this time she couldn’t take it anymore. the way, billie was sulking in her seat, looking border than ever because it was supposed to be a date, then he invited friends, so she invited constance and it pissed the younger girl off. billie didn’t deserve this.

“i mean like, doesn’t he clearly see i���m bored? connie do i look happy?” the redhead looked at her, out of habit, the first thing she does is admire her best friends face before she nods.

“you and i are equally bored, who even is the performer again?” billie sighed and shrugged “i have no fucking clue, wanna go look for food or some shit? q ate my taco bell”

constance rolled her eyes at that but stood up anyway. she smiled at the girl in front of her as she reached her hands out for her to grab. “maybe they have vegan food”

“hopefully, fries kinda sound good right now though” constance nodded in agreement.

the two sat on the couch eating their shared fries when q walked over, his first instinct was to give constance a dirty look which didn’t go unseen by her, she returned the look to which billie caught this time.

“constance.” she warned, the girl only rolled her eyes. don’t make her mad. she reminded herself. but it continued the whole night.

constantly throwing dirty looks and making comments billie would ignore.

and she couldn’t take it anymore when billie went to the bathroom and q decided to speak up when it wasn’t wanted. “so, when are you leaving? it’s supposed to be me and billie tonight .. and you’re kinda ruining the vibe” constance froze and slowly looked up at him.

“excuse me? i’m ruining it? you brought your stupid friends, if we wanna be dumb then blame it on something else but i am not ruining this, you did. and just so you know this is a horrible birthday date idea. billie deserves better so do fucking better asshole”

he stared at her in shock and disbelief, every few seconds his eyes shifted from her to behind her. “what the fuck are you looking at?” she turned frustrated, her eyes widened when they met billie’s angry ones.

“bil..” she began, but the girl was already walking away, constance rushed after her.

“billie stop.” “what the fuck was that? why would you yell at him like that, he did nothing wrong constance!” she scoffed under her breath, billie’s ocean eyes glaring at her.

“you seriously cannot be mad at me, bil i did nothing but defend you and myself, i wasn’t lying when i said you deserve better! i mean look at this? the concert hasn’t even started and he brought his friends like really?”

“never did i need or ask you to defend me so just stop! he’s my boyfriend, as my best friend you should respect that. if you have a crush on me and you’re trying to break us up just say that” “you cannot be fucking serious”

billie shrugged her shoulders, her face blank while constance stared at her, arms crossed and in disbelief. billie’s eyes avoided hers knowing she’d immediately see how hurt constance looked.

but billie wasn’t in the wrong right?

“you’re my best friend, i don’t have a crush on you. i’m sorry for trying to be a good friend but maybe i’m done trying, so go back to your boyfriend, i’m going home. text me when you realize how fucked you sound”

she never texted, constance didn’t reach out either. both too stubborn to text each other. it went on for a whole year of this.

billie hated it, she hated everything going on. she regretted that night a lot, looking back on it now that she was older and matured. she was one thousand percent in the wrong.

so when constance called, a year later, she thought she’d be able to apologize. but she didn’t, the call felt like six seconds long.

JANUARY 6, 2020

billie didn’t speak much. “tell your fans to leave me alone” was all that was said. billie felt stupid for thinking it could’ve been that she missed her and wanted billie to apologize.

but maybe billie should’ve just reached out first like she was supposed to. “uhm, i don’t know what you’re-” “they’re harassing me still because they still think we’re privately dating and that i cheated or something because i posted my boyfri - billie just speak out” constance sighed in frustration.

the blonde’s heart fluttered remembering how they were so close everyone genuinely thought they were together. and maybe billie did have a crush on constance, maybe she pushed her away because that scared her so she convinced herself constance was wrong.

she’d never been with a girl before, her first kiss was constance, but, they were thirteen and just wanted to practice’. and for some reason hearing that constance was in a relationship hurt.

if she wasn’t a bitch that day, constance wouldn’t be getting harassed because maybe her and billie could’ve been more.

“uhm, i’ll - i’m sorry i’ll say something on my story” she stuttered over her words, constance was silent before a small thank you was heard. “how have you been connie? i heard that you - you model right? for prada”

“i didn’t call to talk like that billie, i have to go. just say something on your story”

thought we’d get along, but it wasn’t so

[dyinbymistake]

WORDDD

he’s actually so fucking crazy i wanna hang off his arm soooooo bad

[dyinbymistake]

ruin it | b.e.

billie eilish x fem!reader

context. billie doesn’t want to ruin you’re friendship so she keeps her feelings to herself

warnings. angst, kissing, not proof read

masterlist

“I had a great time.” she concluded as she walked you up the stairs to your apartment, having driven you home due to the late hour of the night.

“me too, thanks for driving me home.” you replied when she smiled and leaned in for a hug.

“it was my pleasure.” as you waved her off you gave yourself a second to find your keys and prepare yourself from entering the apartment. you’d decided to give the girl a second chance, after the disaster that was the first date, against your roommate’s wishes. you were desperately hoping she was asleep. the keys turned in the lock and you pushed the door open quietly and headed straight for your room, having heard the tv on in the living room.

“not so fast.” her voice boomed as you heard her footsteps approach the hallway near your bedroom. you cursed yourself silently.

“i thought you’d be asleep?” she crossed her arms once she placed herself in front of you.

“why were you out so late?” her tone was somewhat angry, as if you’d done something wrong. and despite disagreeing with this statement, you grew exceedingly nervous.

“that’s none of your business billie.” your response came off harsher than intended.

“since when is anything none of my business?” she seemed annoyed by your reply.

“billie, c’mon. it’s not a big deal.” you turned away from her in attempt to escape the conversation but she piped up again.

“were you with her?” she asked and you turned to face her. it gave her the answer she needed. “seriously?” she seemed disappointed.

“was she late again? did she show up sober this time?” she referred to what a dick the girl had been last time you’d gone out with her.

“yes actually, she was perfectly nice.” billie almost laughed.

“yeah okay, does she still think your name is bella?” she scolded you. on the first date she’d gotten your name wrong consistently, and billie never missed an opportunity to bring it up.

“no..” you replied sheepishly.

“well that certainly makes up for it. why did you go out with her again? you know you deserve better.” there was hints of sadness in her words as she spoke.

“not everyone gets as many hoes as you billie. i don’t necessarily get to be picky.” she furrowed her brows as you said this.

“why not? even if it means waiting you shouldn’t lower your standards.” it was frustrating dealing with her, she never approved of your romantic choices. it didn’t matter who it was she’d always point out a flaw.

“why do you even care so much? just let me make bad decisions.” you sighed, tired of this conversation. this argument you’d have every-time you came back from a date.

“i care about you. you deserve better, so much better than that fucking loser.” she seemed disgusted by the thought of her.

“why do you always have to ruin my chance at a happy relationship?” you raised your voice, annoyed at her persistence.

“because i know you wouldn’t be happy!” she seethed, trying desperately to get her point across.

“so i can’t be happy with anyone? what am i supposed to do then?” she opened her mouth to speak but stayed silent, not wanting to say something she’d regret.

“of course, no excuse. as per fucking usual. i mean what is it? are you jealous? do you ruin my relationships because you think we won’t be as close?” she stayed silent, contemplating her words. her silence however, gave you an answer in itself.

“oh my god… you’re jealous!” you couldn’t believe it, but her eyes widened at the conclusion you’d come to and she dismissed it.

“i’m not jealous.” she said defensively.

“then what is it?” you searched her eyes for an answer but she didn’t seem to have one herself.

“they don’t deserve you, none of them. you’re too good for any of them.” she repeated herself.

“what the fuck does that even mean at this point? you keep saying it, but it seems like you think there’s nobody that deserves me. stop fucking with me billie i don’t want to hear it anymore.” her expression softened.

“that’s not what i meant.” she was having trouble expressing herself.

“i don’t understand bils, help me understand because it’s driving a wedge between us when there’s no reason for it to.” you were pleading her to explain. explain the truth, tell you what she was holding back.

“you don’t get it.” she said simply, throwing her head back in frustration.

“billie, if you’re just gonna deflect, i’m going to sleep. i can’t deal with your shit tonight.” she lowered her head, scouring her brain for what to say next. what to say to convince you.

“wait!” she grabbed your arm, holding you back.

“no, billie. if you’re gonna be all cryptic and confusing i don’t wanna hear it.” her grip was insisting, pulling you back to her.

“i just don’t want to ruin it.” her words as cryptic as ever, proving your previous point. your curiosity took control though.

“ruin what?” it was a question with a lot of weight.

“this. our friendship.” her words bled with hurt and fear, a combination that broke your heart every-time you’d hear it.

“they don’t deserve you because, i do.” it hit you in several ways, not fully understanding the extent of the meaning behind it.

“what?” you asked for clarification, hesitantly she complied.

“i’d treat you right, give you what you deserve.” she admitted finally, and your thoughts were spoken aloud.

“billie..”

“no. listen to me. you mean more to me than anyone ever has, and i can’t stand to see these idiots mistreat you. and what i really can’t stand, is the fact that you let them.” she waited silently for a response, already accepting that you might not be able to give her one.

“billie.” it was weak, no motion to it, nothing it was destined to be.

“yeah?” her hope was slowly diminishing.

“just..” she tilted her head, confused at your lip taking residence between your teeth.

“hm?” she bit her cheek, nausea forming in the pit of her stomach. the fear of having ruined years of friendship consuming her mind.

“just kiss me then.”

“what?” she was still trying to process your words and you gave her time to do so.

“kiss me how i deserve to be kissed. make me happy.”

“no, don’t do this to me. you’ve got no idea what you’re talking about.” she shook her head, stepping away from you.

“billie.” she lifted her head to look at you. “i’m dead serious.” she raised an eyebrow and let you approach her.

“but won’t it ruin it? ruin us?” she was hesitant when she stepped closer to you.

“not if we don’t let it.” you countered, easing your way into her embrace. “besides, you can’t say that shit without acting on it. at that point you may as-well call me bella, it’d hurt less.” she laughed, the sound vibrating in your ears.

“okay.” she held your face tenderly as her lips reached yours. she backed you against your bedroom door as she continued to kiss you, your hands lost in her hair and her groans lost in your throat. her hips attached to yours, moving in a rhythm of passion.

“see, you didn’t ruin it.” you were breathless, smiling like an idiot. she smirked before speaking.

“not yet.” she gripped your ass, biting her lip at your little jump. you wouldn’t have expected this from her, you’d never imagined yourself in this position. but by no means was it a complaint.

“you couldn’t ruin me, not even if you tried.” she saw it as a challenge, and then her lips feathered yours as she formed her words.

“watch me.”

note: oops, i disappeared for a while 🫣 i promise it was with good reason and i’ll start getting back to my requests now. love youuuu

[dyinbymistake]

since you guys liked the last one… here is all my finished works of billie!😭💞

[dyinbymistake]

why the flip is it that i follow billie eilish hashtags and a bunch of other things come up guys what the flip someone give me fanfic recommendations from here wattpad is so dry

[dyinbymistake]

wait i just learned some ppl hate the "birds of a feather" music video and are saying billie is "ruining her era" and ruining this song with the "horror movie" visuals of the video instead of doing like colorful flowers and animated birds in a field to match the "wholesome song"????? like????? are we talking about the same artist???? the song is about love sure, but wholesome? huh??? and since when has billie been about wholesome, pretty, colorful, normcore videos/visuals? we're talking about the person who let a live spider crawl out of their mouth and wanted the real practical effect of black tears pouring out her eyes all for a music video ....