#look ma I didn't kill anyone off this time

[nochepsicodelica]

Bear boyfriend Toji who dreads getting sick more than the average person. He gets so grumpy during this little stunt in his health because he can't do much besides manage his harsh cough and runny nose, rest in bed and eat, but that's not even what he's most upset about. He's so pissed off that he can't be around you, unless he wants to get you sick too.

Oh, but you make it so hard on him. Walking into the room with a mug of tea with that smile that could nurse anyone back to health. You linger for longer than you should, even after he told you that if you're in there for too long, you'll get sick too. It's an annoying dilemma because on one end, watching you be sick is one of the most heart wrenching things he's ever seen. Like him, you pretend that you're fine, when really you feel so debilitated by the virus that invaded your immune system. You tell him you feel better, but your hearing is muffled and your voice is gravelly and doesn't seem to be recovering quickly. Toji sees right through it and his protective instincts kick in. He insists on doing everything necessary to get you back up and running. On the other end, he wants to see you and kiss you and just hold onto you through this horrible time he's having. He hasn't kissed you in almost three days. It really sucks that he's sick, but it's entirely unfair that you can't be near him. There is truly so much for him to be reasonably grumpy about.

"Hey, you're gonna get wrinkles on your handsome face," you say, smoothing down the crease between his eyebrows with your thumb. "Do you really want me out of here that bad?"

He sighs. Your cool hands are heaven on his burning skin. "You know I don't, ma," he croaks out, pulling your hand down from his face and holding it. "I want you here, but you can't stay."

"Baby, you lost your pretty color. You look like a zombie, but also, it's killing me to only be allowed to check on you once every hour. I think it's time I come sleep in here, again."

"No," he protests, while shaking his head. He wishes he had rethought the gesture once he's steady again. He feels like he shook his brain and his head hurts, now.

"Toji, i'm taking care of you. I'm sleeping in our bed, tonight. I'm more worried about you than I am about getting sick."

He wants to laugh at how you sound like a mother scolding her child, but he knows it'll throw him into a nasty coughing fit. He can't argue with you too much in this state. He doesn't want to argue anyway. You care and it feels nice.

"If I get sick, I get sick," you say, settling down next to him, on your side of the bed.

Toji has never been one to pull the 'woe is me' card, but when you're smothering him with so much affection and cooing at him while caressing his uncomfortably warm face, it's hard not to lean into it. You relieve his discomfort with your methods of care. Be it medicinal remedies or your extra love and affection, even your patience. You weren't the one who proposed keeping distance from him. You didn't want to sleep on the couch those last couple nights, but you did it for the sake of letting Toji be comfortable. He's your lover and you don't see a reason to avoid him, like what he has is something more fatal. His contagiousness is disregarded, because it doesn't matter.

You know he would do the same for you so you don't wrinkle your nose when he starts feeling safe enough to nuzzle into you and sluggishly kiss you, while clinging onto you. He's extra clingy, too. Your body is a lot cooler than his, so it feels nice when he rests his cheek on your chest or when his hot, clammy hands go to your arms. You don't turn away or block your face when he coughs. You rub menthol onto his reddened chest and neck, and watch as he grins dumbly when his nose clears up for a little. When he falls asleep, you stay with him, even if he doesn't wake up for the next five hours. You watch over him and only get up to grab things that are necessary, like his medicine, some water, and a damp towel to wipe the sweat off his forehead and neck.

He takes on the role of the little spoon when you take care of him. Being pampered by you makes him feel small in all the best ways. He feels protected, like you're his guardian. It's really as if the only remedy he needs is you. The expanse of your love for him is unquantifiable, but when you wrap your smaller arms around him and press featherlight kisses onto his skin, it's like a force field that blankets him.

[bunnys-kisses]

can I pretty please get nanaimo bars,english muffin with the side of milkshake, frozen latte with Charles Leclerc 🥹🫶

bakery menu

the bakery is open and accepting orders! we're cooking up smiles every day! submit your own order! reblogs & comments are appreciated! thank you lovely anon for submitting this, it was something very different to write that i loved. size kink with charles is super interesting given how many people see him. but sometimes i forget he is close to six feet tall and built like someone who does f1. he may look sweet as honey, but there's probably something more sinister (sexually) going on in that brain of his, haha.

nanaimo bars ("who's my pretty girl? c'mon say it.") + english muffins ("aw, is someone crying?") + milkshake (size kink) + frozen latte (dumbification) served by charles leclerc (formula one)!!

cw: smut/pwp, size difference/kink, dumbification, teasing/dirty talk, crying kink, cry baby!reader, oral sex (charles receives), deepthroating, facials & cock slapping, safe words/signals, hair pulling

"mon cœur"

"la douleur dans ma poitrine."

"mon amor..."

"ma salope."

charles liked to make you cry. he loved when his mean words would curl up into your brain and make that waterworks come out. he was the prince of ferrari and of his home country. it's pride and joy. he was seen as effortlessly cool and could entice anyone. that smile, those green eyes. but even with all he had been afforded, nothing turned him on more than seeing his precious girlfriend's bottom lip wobble her eyes grow cloudy with tears.

he was running on high after monza, it was like everything was barking in the back of his head. even out of his driving suit and away from the track for the night, he could still feel the adrenaline. and while many would go for a run or spend the night with a drink in hand. he yearned for something different.

and when he saw you in his lavish hotel room, in one of his shirts and what appeared nothing else underneath. he knew that he was in for a treat tonight. with his bag down and his shoes off, he entered further into the room. he ended up by you on the couch and took you by the chin.

he smiled, "most take off the make up before they get comfortable." his thumb trailed under your left eye.

you replied, "i took everything off earlier and put on the mascara that runs easily." it was from a cheap brand at the pharmacy. perfect for what charles liked.

he chuckled, "you are just full of surprises, my love. you're going to be good for me tonight, right?" it was moments like these that you realized just how much bigger charles was. most painted him as short and frail.

he was just under six foot but built in a way to withstand the strain of racing. with large hands and thighs that could kill. his hand could easily fit around your neck as easily as his cock did to the back of your throat. there was a flicker in the greens of his eyes, the noble prince had stripped away into a hungry animal that yearned for you.

you swallowed, "i always am. always for you."

he tapped your cheek six times and you tapped his wrist once in response. even if these sick games where you cried and grew stupid on his cock, there were limits everyone had. charles didn't want to break your little world apart because he took it too far. he got on the couch next to you and undid his belt. your delicate hands helped him and dropped the leather to the floor.

charles held you face to look at him. he remarked, "you really are pathetic, so eager. i'm surprised you didn't stalk the halls looking for something to fuck your throat while i was out."

you frowned a little bit, "i'd never, honey."

he pinched your cheek a little harder than normal and leaned in, "right, right. because you're a good girl, my pretty girl. who's my pretty girl? c'mon say it." his words were enticing and it made your stomach flip.

"i am."

"you are pretty, my love." he said, "god blessed you with good looks because he knew you'd be stupid. add a dash of being a cock hungry whore and sometimes i get worried. i've never wanted to kill a man, but if another sank his teeth into you." his words were low and they made you curl in your gut.

if you wanted out, as a last resort. tap once then six times in rapid succession. charles liked to make your bottom lip wobble, but he wasn't a monster. he pulled you in for another searing kiss, his hand in between your legs. he felt panties as he rubbed his hand up.

he knew it was going to be a long night tonight. but first, he had his eyes on your pretty throat. after all his marks had faded over the week. while there would be press photos soon, they didn't mean he couldn't mess up the inside of your throat. even if you couldn't talk for the week, he was more than happy to do all the talking for both of you.

"stupid thing." he said, "you know that? i feel sorry for whatever school gave you your diploma." he acted like he wasn't at your graduation, "i bet you paid them off. or worse, sucked them off. little whore on campus, too stupid to actually learn anything except be on her knees and breath through her nose." he made a small noise of disappointment.

and charles got excited at the sight of you. that bottom lip was going, he could see the shudder in your shoulders. that struck a nerve, post-secondary was hard for you. you felt like people called you dumb without actually saying it. and charles' toxic words only added the fuel to the fire of doubt.

"aw, is someone crying? don't cry." he said, faking sympathy, "if you start crying then you won't suck my cock properly." he rubbed the back of your head as he watched the tears come down your cheek. he sighed once more, "silly thing."

soon your head was between his legs. he could feel your hot tears against the base of his cock as they streamed down your face. they weren't a rush of tears, but a slow trickle as charles' words clouded your head.

you started to work his cock and he felt the excitement in his body. it took a good while but eventually you learned how to deep throat him. he hissed and held onto the back of your head. you were both still clothed (or at least partially for you).

charles had a habit of running his mouth when your mouth was on him. and he rocked the blunt end of his cock up against the back of your throat, occasionally making you choke, he started talking. "i should throw you to the rest of ferrari. let them ruin you. then maybe you'll stop being so greedy for cock when you've had enough for a lifetime. i see how they look at you, my logo across your pretty breasts as you look so cute down at the paddock. if i waved my hand and told them to have their way with you, you wouldn't be getting far." he tugged on your hair a little and forced you up and down his cock faster.

you choked a little bit and sputtered, trying to catch your breath through your nose. it all was a deep throb in your head as you tried to cram as much of his cock into your throat.

"i'd say they'd make your ass ferrari red. but i think it would be closer to mercedes black. you wouldn't be able to sit right for months. maybe i'd be generous and let the other drivers have a chance too. crying on their cocks."

you sniffled, tears welled up in your eyes some more. while most despised having 'raccoon eyes', charles found it endearing. the poor little thing can't help but cry because she knows that he's right. you knew in your gut that you were at least a little cock hungry at all times. he watched you squirm in your seat at times while you let your imagination run wild.

he continued to use you to his liking. you were perfect. trained you from the ground up to be perfect on his cock. he caught glimpses of your face and your red eyes. poor thing, crying to much making a big mess.

so dumb, so small, so stupid.

he took his cock out of your mouth and rubbed it up against your cheek roughly. spit and pre-cum caught across your right eyelashes. his cock pushed your top lip up and he groaned at the sight. your tongue licked a bit of pre-cum that was dangerously close to your face.

"so small, i'm surprised you could take all this. i remember when i couldn't put it in without prepping you. then you spent all season training your cunt for when i got home. now you take me in every way perfectly." he licked his lips, "you know where you belong."

his words excited you as you put your mouth back on his cock. you whimpered as you felt it hit the back of your throat once more. he was big in a way that it made you squirm.

you continued up and down his cock, putting all your brain power (what little you had left) into taking him well. you coughed and panted, air felt in short supply as you got him to the base. your nose in his groomed pubic hair.

a picture perfect beauty, all for charles to devour.

he knew he was close. he could feel it in his bones and in the tension of his muscles. he then tensed up further with his hand in your hair and pulled your mouth off his cock (as much as it pained him to do that). with his other hand he stroked himself off quickly to the sight of your quivering, overheated body. you panted heavily and he finished all over your face. he streaked your skin white with cum up to your forehead. it dripped down your face as you coughed a little.

the debauched sight made him get a few more ropes up cum on your face before he settled down. he pulled your head back to look at you, you could barely have your eyes open. he wished he could take a picture. the white of cum and the mascara mixed tears created a sight that made charles run hot.

"now you look like a slut." he said as he got his jeans off. he rubbed his cock up against your soft lips before he slapped his still hard cock against your face, only making the mess on your cheeks more intense.

"charles." your throat felt raw from it. you looked at him and panted heavily, your tongue stuck out a little bit. and charles knew the night was far over. he fucked you stupid without stimulating your poor pussy. he wanted to see how stupid he could make you.

"we're not done yet." he said.

you tilted your head to the side, almost innocently as if your face wasn't a mess. you asked, "what?" your brain not capturing all the words properly.

he held onto you for a moment and said, "ten seconds to clean up your face. then i want you naked on the bed, or i'll fuck you on the bathroom floor." then let go of you and watched you scramble to clean yourself up. those words stuck in your blissed out brain even though you almost tripped over yourself.

charles chuckled and leaned further back onto the couch, his cock at full attention. even though the mascara was going to be gone, it was okay. you still looked just as pretty with just those tears streaming down your face. <3

[alastwhorez]

Alastor with a mommy kink

♡ Pairing: Human!Alastor x MILF!Reader

♡ Summary: Alastor can't help but want his new neighbor

♡ warnings: 18+, MDNI, breeding kink, mommy kink, pet names, oral, p in v, unprotected sex, Alastor is 23, reading is in late 20s early 30s, Alastor calls reader Ma. Age gap, I think that's it. If I missed anything, please let me know.

♡an: not proofread, probably spelling errors, if you don't like mommy kinks or Al calling reader Ma, or Age gap please do not read.

Thinking about early 20s human Alastor with a mommy kink..

You just moved next door with your kids right beside Alastor and his mama.

Alastor helped you move in observing that there was no man with you, he offered to help which you graciously accepted. His mama invited you and the kids over for dinner that evening saying “it's so nice to have children around again now that Al is all grown up” as she pinches the taller male's cheek. Alastor rolled his eyes at his mom's actions trying to cover up the blush rising to his cheeks. He may be “all grown up” as she says but he is still a mama's boy and always will be.

After dinner you help clear the table and do dishes with Alastor as his mama plays with the children in the living room. You fall into a comfortable silence before Al breaks it “so where's your husband?” You look at him and smile before telling him you don't have one. Al hides his smirk from you. in all honesty he didn't offer to help you trying to be neighborly or a gentleman. He offered because of the heat he felt seeing you mother your kids.

Over the next few weeks Al is always there. He is there when you need help putting something together, someone to go to the grocery store with and even when you need someone to kill the pesky little bugs when you are too scared. His mama started babysitting for you as you wanted to find a job. Living Off of you savings wasn't going to last forever. And Al was there for all of it.

Over the weeks Al noticed the heat he would feel intensifies everytime he sees you mothering your kids but what really got him was when he was over for lunch and you wiped his mouth with your thumb to clean a crumb off his lip. He couldn't deny the tightening in his pants at you doing such motherly things for him. It didn't help that you also wore some frisky outfits for your time and that you weren't that much older than him, in your late twenties to early thirties at most.

The twenty three year old quickly became very obsessive and possessive over you. Scaring away suitors. Always telling you, you don't need a boyfriend, you have him and he is right across the lawn. All you have to do is open a window or stand on your porch and yell and he will be there.

Over the weeks of Alastor being around you couldn't deny your attraction to him. He was a very attractive man, one several women in town are always throwing themselves at but you never see him with a woman. He tells you he has his eyes on someone he just doesn't know how they feel yet. That brings a ting of pain to your heart but you smile at the younger male and tell him anyone would be lucky to have him pinning over them.

looking back you wonder how you got in the situation you are in now. Bent over your kitchen table, dress flipped up over your plush ass, and panties down around your ankles as Alastor is on his knees licking and sucking on any flesh his mouth can find. He parts your folds with his tongue as he licks up you. His hands on your ass spreading you open for him. You try to hold back moans forgetting you don't have to be quiet. His mama has the kids. He was only supposed to be over here for a quick visit. He was dropping off leftovers his mama made. But they were quickly forgotten. Left on the counter.

“Fuck ma, you taste so good” He moans against your cunt. Your mouth falls open in a silent moan at the vibration of his voice. Oh god his voice is another thing about him that attracted you to the younger man. His deep raspy voice with his cute little accent. It could make you wet just hearing him talk, and it has.

you yelp as Alastor lands a slap on your ass then squeeze and massage the red spot. His tongue dips in your entrance As his thumb finds your bundle of nerves and starts to rub. Your legs are shaking, thank fuck your on the table. You Turn around trying to see him. Wanting to see him between your legs. He chuckles and smirks against you, feeling you wiggle. Trying to maneuver your body just try so his mouth stays attached to you.

You scream out his name as he speeds up his thumb and quickens his thrust with his tongue. He's moaning against you as he bites, licks, and sucks everywhere he can reach. You're a moaning mess on your table. You can feel that familiar tingle before it snaps and your jerking,moaning, and screaming “Oh Al, baby” eyes rolling back and back arching. He moans as your juices coat his tongue, swallowing it down like it's his last meal.

You're laying on the table trying to catch your breath when he pulls away and stands to his full height. You hear him undo his belt and unzip his pants. You bite your lip in anticipation. “g-gotta feel you around me ma”

Ma, he started calling you that a week after you met.

You feel him slide himself between your folds, wetting himself in your juices before he slowly slides on, stretching you perfectly. You both moan out at the feeling. He starts slow and shallow before getting confidence and speeding up. He's gripping your hips so hard you know they'll bruise but fuck does it feel good to finally have his hands on you. He fucks you from behind until your about to finish when he pulls out. “No nononono!” You whine right before he flips you onto your back and pulls the dress off the rest of the way.

“You little minx” He says when he sees you weren't wearing a bra. You bite your lip looking up at him. His hands find your thighs and push them apart as he stands between your legs pushing himself back into you.

You grip his shoulders then let your hands slide down to his back when he speeds up, giving you an extra hard thrust. “Feels so good,ma” He whines into your shoulder. “Wanted you for so long”

“M-me too Ala-STOR” you moan when he hits that spot that makes your toes curl. He pulls away from your shoulder and slams his lips onto your, the kiss is hungry, feral. It's all teeth and tongue. You can taste yourself on his lips pulling a moan from you.

He pushed your back onto the table as he lays over you and his thumbs finds your clip. Only a couple of thrust later and your cumming all over his cock, begging him your not exactly sure what your begging for pleas fall from your lips

“Fuck, fuck ,FUCK” He says as he puts his face in your shoulder biting and licking your neck.

“Gotta-gotta cum in you ma, make you a mommy again”

“Yes! Yes Al” you beg as you feel another orgasm approaching.

Alastor grabs your tits, “gotta see these Full and round” He says before sucking on into his mouth. Three more thrust is all it takes before he is shooting Ropes of cum into your heat, hips stuttering, his eyes rolling back, and moans falling from his lips. You cum for the nth time seeing Alastor so blissed out,tightening around his cock, milking him for everything he is worth.

You both lay there for several minutes catching your breath. He pulls out a few seconds later but replaces his cock with his fingers pulling a moan from you. “Gotta make sure nothing goes to waste” He says right before fixing his glasses that are now all fogged up. He smiles down at you, helping you up before picking you up bridal style and carrying you to your bathroom.

He runs you a bath, both of you sitting in It, your back against his chest. He is peppering kisses all over your shoulder. He stays with you till nightfall when his mama yells for him to come home and that your kids are on their way back over.

He kisses your lips one more time after your kids run through the door.

“Same time tomorrow, ma?” He says, smirking down at you and then winking before heading back to his mama.

[leilanihours]

# HAND UNDER MY SWEATSHIRT, BABY, KISS IT BETTER // YOU DREW STARS AROUND MY SCARS

pairing: paige bueckers x soccer player!reader

word count: 631

warnings: descriptions of blood, cuts, that kinda thing

summary: paige takes care of you after you get hurt during practice.

⭑ from lani: this was originally written for...someone else...but i changed it bc well...anyways! 🎀 not proofread either cus im not home oops

masterlist !

"I GOT HER, coach," your girlfriend says as she puts a protective arm around your waist. you lean on paige with your arm resting on her shoulders, steps staggered as you try not to apply pressure to your right leg.

a burning pain shot up through your body with every heavy step you took, the gaping cuts overwhelming your body with discomfort.

you had just played in a nasty scrimmage during practice, taking a particularly rough fall on the field in the process. one of your teammates assigned to guard you in the drill had been a little too rough, resulting in the blades of grass digging into your skin and cuts to scatter across your knee.

"let me know if i'm hurting you, alright?" paige says with a hushed voice.

she was currently disinfecting one of your many cuts with delicate hands, cautious not to press too hard on certain areas.

you were grateful for paige’s presence at your practices. even if she was just sitting in the stands watching or making small talk with your coaches, her simply showing up in her little free time meant the world to you.

"ima kill that girl," she whispers to break the silence.

"please don't."

"she ain't even say sorry, though. that's crazy to me."

"it's part of the game, p, it's okay," you laugh, "she's still my teammate."

"nah, i know, but she just walked away like nothing happened. like, she still coulda apologized,” she finishes, covering the cut skin with bandages.

"my guard dog," you joke, stroking her cheek as she rises from her position to face you directly.

her hands rest on your thighs as you sit on top of one of the bathroom counters in the girls' locker room.

her fingers lovingly stroke the skin under your now untucked shirt, as if they had the power to heal you in an instant. and in that moment, you believed that they did. the way they slowly traced tiny stars on your waist distracts you from the burning sensation cursing your skin.

on top of that, the way she's looking at you with undertones of frustration and concern makes you feel utterly safe and protected. that's just how paige was. she would truly go to war for you, and she never had any problem showing it.

"how you feelin', ma?"

"better. it didn't hurt that much to begin with, though."

"damn, we've been together how long and you still think you can lie to me?" she smirks, tilting her head.

"i swear i'm not lying," you giggle as she begins to slowly kiss the nape of your neck.

both of your voices are hushed and delicate, as if any raised sounds would disrupt the peace that had become a shield against your shared world.

you close your eyes in relaxation, the whole scene providing you with a complete sense of comfort despite the circumstances that brought you here. as long as you were with paige, you would feel at home - because she was your home.

"let's get you some rest, yeah?" she whispers, placing a final kiss to your jaw.

you nod as she helps you down from your place next to the sink. you slowly make your way over to your locker to get your belongings, laughing and shaking your head when your girlfriend rushes forward before you can even attempt to haul your own bags.

and somehow, despite paige looking like a hotel bell boy with the amount of stuff she's carrying, she still manages to rest a hand on your waist supportively.

it was clear to you, and pretty much anyone with eyeballs, that paige would quite literally do anything for you - no questions asked. and, of course, you would undoubtedly do the same for her.

— leilani signing off ! 📁

[namfinessed]

go around - j.hs.

genre: angst, fluff (childhoodcrush! brother'sbestfriend!) (8.2k)

summary: to everyone else, he was the sun but to you, he was always the moon, the light you grabbed onto when you could see nothing.

note: grief is something very close to my heart, i've always struggled with it but i'm slowly starting to learn to live with it, i hope everyone who's experienced loss feels like some kind of relief through this, thank you for reading <3

masterlist

-

hoseok was sixteen years old when it happened.

you were thirteen.

and he had thought he was too cool for you then.

you were sitting on the other side of the mary-go-round to him, it was the last but one day of the summer camp you were part of, and you looked at him as if he hung the moon in the sky.

and hoseok felt as high as the moon that night.

but he was also sick to his stomach.

"i like you," you didn't look at him as you said it but hoseok could feel that you meant it, that it took a lot for you to get on that mary-go-round with him, spin with him, build the moon in his eyes and then say the words that he believed were stuck in your throat since when you first saw him.

he knew that your brother wouldn't like that you were saying this.

but he knew, even as a kid, that this was the most honest thing anyone's ever told him.

but he was so cool and so close to your brother, who would kill him if hoseok said anything back.

so, he didn't say anything back.

hoseok pursed his lips and looked away. he swears that, to this day, the tears shining in his eyes were nerves and not the frustration that came with not being able to hold you to the moon too.

the silent rejection didn't yet hit your soft eyes and bare heart.

you kept looking at him, hands gripping the handles so tight that your knuckles changed shades between white and pink and your cheeks puffed, excited and nervous breaths still left your lips.

and hoseok didn't want to be cool for a second there, he didn't want to care about your brother at all, maybe he would just let you take him for a bit, just a bit.

but in your thin eyebrows, he saw your brother.

in your veiny hands, he saw your brother.

in your coily, curly hair, he saw your brother.

so, he got off the mary-go-round, he walked away quickly, not pausing to look at you and he sniffed his tears away, he hugged his jacket closer to his body.

tomorrow, he would be fine.

tomorrow, no one would look at him like he was the moon and he would be okay with it.

but hoseok turned around.

the biggest mistake of his life.

the moon you thought him to be, cast a glow on the tears gathering on your chin and his heart wrenched.

he would fix this, he told himself, he would fix all of this.

but the next day, your brother, his best friend, died.

and you never spoke a word to hoseok again.

-

everything was vibrant when hoseok stepped into your home.

the unkept gardens were now blooming with flowers.

the closed windows were now open and giving a glimpse into the light inside the house.

the home was back to being a home.

he’s seen the transformation take place with his own two eyes over the years and he could confidently conclude that the ten years that cloaked your family and home in darkness were finally nowhere to be found.

and hoseok felt both delight and unease at the development.

“oh honey, you came,” there were few people hoseok could recognize with how they breathed, and your mom, his second mom basically, was one of them.

he didn’t even get to greet her before he was wrapped in a hug that surrounded him with the scent of cinnamon, musky perfume, and somehow, still his best friend.

“of course i did, ma” he kissed the top of her head, his arms not letting her go even if he knew the time for an appropriate hug was up, and she knew it too but she stayed as long as hoseok held her.

and when he let her go, he had to look away from the tears touching her eyelashes.

he probably brought back memories of his friend, maybe he still smelt like his friend too, he doesn’t know but he’s glad if he does.

his best friend’s family was unlike hoseok’s, his own family was distant and cold, and when he became an adult, he cut off all ties with them, he simply couldn’t accept them as family and your mom never let him feel as if he didn’t have one.

“the place is really packed,” hoseok whistled, looking at all the new faces and your mom nodded, “she invited a lot of her friends, i don’t know them but it’s okay, they’re having a good time, you’re here, so it’s all good,” hoseok stiffened at your mention.

you didn’t see him once in the last ten years.

slammed the door on his face.

ignored him even when your mom screamed after you.

locked yourself in your room and never got out if it meant seeing him.

and hoseok learned to accept it, he wouldn’t hang out with him either, especially after what happened.

but it was your birthday and he was invited, by your mom or you, he has no idea but hoseok steels himself to see you at some point in the night.

then, he walks around, introduces himself, ignores the pity that people eye’s throw at him, ignores the sympathetic touches on his arm, ignores the pats on the back and the ‘he must’ve been wonderful to have as a friend’ and he nods because he can’t say that yes, his best friend was an incredible friend until he fucking died.

and suddenly, hoseok wants to punch his best friend, for leaving him with this room of people who didn’t know him but somehow had all the sympathy in the world to shove in his face, for leaving him with no option but to mourn and miss him.

but hoseok was never a good mourner, he was good at going about life normally, good at laughing, good at ignoring his feelings, hoseok wasn’t good at gathering tears in his eyes when he thought of his dead best friend.

after a while, hoseok excuses himself to the bathroom and finds himself in his friend’s room, which remains frozen in time. every poster he hung up, though peeling at the edges on the wall, still stayed, every photo he stuck on top of his bedpost was yellow and faded but again, they stayed.

he doesn’t know how long he stares at their photo, the one they took in the summer camp where hoseok’s head is too small and his arms too thin and wrapped around his friend.

when he ran his fingers over the photo, he didn’t feel anything, he was grazing over hazy memories that he was desperately trying to remember as he got older but they were all slipping away or holding on too tightly at times.

“what the fuck are you doing in jay’s room?”

and he snatches his fingers away from the photo.

as he turns around, he swears he feels his heartbeat in his feet, and no amount of time could ever prepare him to face you.

you’re standing at the door with your arms crossed so defensively over your chest that he’s scared to take a single step forward but something about you, as a sixteen-year-old back then and now, a twenty-six-year-old, always takes his breath away.

and you look so much like jay, from the eyes to the hair to the hands, that he has to look away to breathe again.

“hey,” is all that comes out of hoseok’s mouth and he knows he deserves it when you roll your eyes at him.

“you’re not going to slam the door on me?” he asks and to his surprise, you shake your head, “not this time, my mom might just kill me,” you say while entering through the door and hoseok awkwardly steps around the room to reach where you sit on the bed.

he’s not sure how to feel about your mom having to force you to meet him.

and he’s not sure if he will ever be ready to see you again.

maybe you should’ve slammed the door one last time.

“happy birthday, big numbers now,” hoseok sits five feet away from you on the same bed and he watches your face soften the slightest, “thank you, and yeah, twenty-four doesn’t feel real,” you weakly laugh, falling on the bed and letting your feet dangle off the edge.

“your friends seem fun,” he stayed alert on the edge of the bed, and you nodded half-heartedly, “i guess so, did you meet them?”

“yeah, i said hi and stuff,” hoseok played with his fingers as you sat up again, “they brought up jay?”

“um yeah, they seemed to be very...empathetic about it,” he said, he didn’t know how else to say that your friends' reactions almost made him want to leave the party.

“yeah, they don’t know how to react to dead brothers or best friends, they’re not too bad though,” you laugh again and hoseok just nods, looking away.

for a moment, there’s only silence.

there’s only your breath and his.

there’s only your heartbeat and his.

and hoseok had missed this, he had missed you.

“can you believe it’s been ten years?” he asks because he can’t, he still feels as if it was yesterday that he got the phone call from you.

“i can,” you whisper, “time has been slow for me, so i can,” you’re the one looking away this time and hoseok catches your eyes roaming on the photos stuck above jay’s bed.

“do you want to go downstairs?” you get up from the bed and meet his eyes properly for the first time since you entered the room and he can do nothing but nod.

just before you step out the door, hoseok grabs your hand, immediately dropping it as you stop, “a-are you okay?” he didn’t want to ask you the question that he knows everyone else did but he also wouldn’t sleep that night without asking.

but when you laugh and disappear downstairs, hoseok ends up not sleeping anyway.

-

“thank you so much for coming by,” hoseok shook his head at your mother with the broadest smile and sweat coating his forehead, “of course ma, you can call me whenever you need help,” he pressed a kiss on the top of her head as he passed her and she pushed her face into his arm.

your mom owned a local restaurant and usually, handled everything from deliveries to cooking to serving and hoseok had chastised her multiple times about it.

even now, looking at the full restaurant, hoseok knew he couldn’t leave her to it.

so, after pushing her into the kitchen, he manned the counter for a while and made light conversation with whoever came by.

it felt strange, after so many years, being back around jay’s family, being back in this restaurant where he spent many days and nights.

he shook his head, refusing to let the memories creep back in.

he was used to this, this was just a routine to him, he always helped out, and he knew jay would do it if he was here.

“she loves you a lot already, you don’t have to do all this,” your voice isn’t something he’s used to though, not here, and hoseok’s palms start sweating immediately.

fuck.

he didn’t even put on a good outfit today.

or even perfume, now that he thinks of it.

and he curses himself when you come into view.

“i do this because i love her a lot,” he says with a smile and you roll your eyes, “yeah i know, it’s annoying,” and he frowns, “why?”

but you just wave a hand at him and go into the kitchen.

and hoseok’s left with ten people waving their bills and money at him, so he plasters a smile on his face and continues working.

after some time passes, you come back out from the kitchen with a scowl on your face and hoseok knows this because he hasn’t stopped his eyes from flickering between the kitchen door and the counter in front of him.

“i’ve got it from here, move,” you bark at him as you reach him and hoseok’s frown deepens at you, “it’s only a couple of people, i’ll finish it, don’t worry,” he reassures you but it only seems to irritate you.

“this isn’t your job, hoseok, just move over,” the glare on your face makes hoseok throw his hands up in the air and step away from the counter.

and he goes to the kitchen, he hugs your mom goodbye and he doesn’t bother with saying anything to you while he leaves because he’s sure you will only curse at him. he’s too exhausted today.

but imagine his surprise when the clock strikes midnight, you are at his door with a few soju bottles, snacks, and a sheepish smile on your face.

what the fuck were you doing at his home?

“um, hi?” he adjusts his t-shirt as he greets you, suddenly too aware of his messy hair and pajama pants as his heart once again beats away from his body.

“can i come in?” you ask sheepishly, and he immediately moves away. as you look around his apartment, hoseok still finds it hard to believe that you’re here.

even as you set up the table with soju glasses and food, he can only follow you in a daze.

“come, sit,” you say as if it wasn’t his home, his table, and his chairs but hoseok obliges and sits down.

a few minutes pass with both of you just fidgeting, looking at and away from each other, scratching your necks, and rubbing your fingers together.

until you finally grab the soju bottle and inch toward him.

you take a deep breath in and hoseok lets one out, “i shouldn’t have been so rude at the store, it’s just,” you speak as you pour soju into a shot glass for him and he sits up in his seat, “jay used to be there all the time.” you swallow, moving the bottle away from him and pouring one for yourself too.

“i was there all the time too, you know that,” hoseok says gently, as if to a child and you nod, “yeah, but it was always you and him, not just you.”

always you and him.

not just you.

and the memories that hoseok tried so hard to keep in his head, started creeping their way onto his sneakers and jeans and slipping away like sand.

the nights they snuck in to steal the leftovers.

the days he spent munching down on snacks that your mom generously gave him and jay.

the evenings where they both fanned each other with rolled-up magazines.

the days he spent admiring you at the counter.

but he couldn’t remember the dates, he couldn’t remember the details like what he was wearing that evening when jay hit him with a wooden fan, what was jay wearing when he got dumped by his girlfriend and cried to hoseok, what would jay think of this moment right now, you in front of him with a couple of soju bottles that were bound to be empty soon?

he shifted in his seat, “i won’t come over anymore, i didn’t know you felt like this,” and you purse your lips, “don’t do that, hoseok.”

“do what?” his eyebrows draw closer and you put down your glass to stare at him straight, “be so understanding and nice, just tell me to fuck off and deal with my shit instead of taking it out on you, hate me a little bit because this isn’t fair to you and you know that too.”

hoseok is stunned to silence for a second.

and he has a feeling that these words weren’t just some sudden outburst, you never spoke without letting your thoughts settle so he knows you’ve felt this for a while.

when he catches your wobbling lip and the way you shove food into your mouth to stop the movement, he knows he’s right and his heart softens even more.

“i’m not going to hate you for missing your brother, y/n.” is all he says before he slides your glass towards him and pours you a shot too.

and for a second, you just eye the glass and then look at him with tears so heavy in your eyes that hoseok is surprised they haven’t rolled down your cheeks.

“i think you’re the only one who doesn’t,” you suck in a breath and take the shot, you barely feel the liquid burn down your throat or the tears that finally release from your eyes.

when he raises his eyebrows at you, you shrug with a sniff and look away.

for the rest of the night, hoseok tries to forget that this was exactly how you looked on the mary-go-around ten years ago.

tears on your jaw.

flushed cheeks.

the same coily hair.

for the rest of the night, hoseok stops himself from falling in love again.

-

“again!” your mom threw her hands up in delight after winning one more game of ludo that hoseok had brought over.

you groaned and complained loudly to her, face held up by your elbow and hoseok watched with warm eyes as you and your mom argued about the win.

but he also felt acutely, the empty cushion next to him.

“you’re just a sore loser, learn a thing or two from hoseok,” your mom brought him back to the world, unscathed from his best friend’s haunting.

and hoseok nods proudly, dissolving into giggles when you scoff at him and your mom high-fives him.

“you’re letting her win,” you stare pointedly at him as your mom leaves to bring more snacks and hoseok shrugs happily, “guilty as charged,” and ducks with a laugh when a shower of peanut shells gets thrown in his direction.

“i knew it!” you screeched and he fell onto the floor with a belly full of joy, “mom, i told you, he was letting you win,” you stomped into the kitchen and hoseok heard more sounds of an argument from the kitchen, he rolled his eyes in endearment.

that night, you drop him in your car, and the entire ride, you’re laughing, he’s laughing, you’re speaking nonsense, he’s speaking nonsense, you’re falling on the seat to cover your face and he’s pulling his hands over his eyes to cover his face.

and at his door, you look at him with a face so free of everything.

no lines of worry on your forehead.

no frown between your eyebrows.

no hesitance to smile.

just a hint of moonlight falling over the right side of your face and some of your hair.

and hoseok wonders if he looks the same, if he looks just as beautiful and calm.

but when you keep staring at him with those curious, those tender eyes that he feels you reserve just for him, as if he has the answer to everything, as if he was the answer to everything, hoseok’s heart races in panic and buried love.

both of you realize at the same time, that ten minutes had passed and you were about two inches closer than you were at the beginning of the ride.

he stumbles out of the car, you stutter a goodbye to him and he nods hastily, urging you to leave.

that night, once again, hoseok begs himself to stop falling in love.

-

you only called him once in the many years that he’s known you and it was to tell him that jay had died, it was a freak accident, no one could’ve done anything and hoseok had thought that it was all a dream but your voice, as always, rang true in his ears and he knew that his life, as it was, would change forever.

“hoseok, i-it’s jay, someone hit him with a bike, i don’t know what’s going on, they’re saying they can’t read his pulse, please just come here, p-please.”

your sobs had shaken him so badly that he stumbled out of his camp cabin in his pajamas and he held your mom’s hand the entire time they tried to resurrect jay in the emergency room but once jay flatlined, your mom crumbled in his arms and you ran out of the hospital, you refused to look at him after that night.

and he understands why, he should’ve been there for jay, he should’ve made sure that his best friend didn’t go out for a walk that night or he should’ve gone with jay and been the one to get hit instead.

but it was all over now, and all hoseok was left with was a heavy heart filled with enough guilt for all the years he would live.

so when hoseok’s phone rang in the middle of the night with your name flashing on his screen, his brain unearthed the entire tragedy, the entire night with its roots pulled out of him and he was gasping for breath as he answered.

could it be that something happened to your mom?

did something happen to you?

did something happen to him and everyone else knew but him?

“she’s not letting us call her mom but she said your name, can you come to pick her up?” and twenty minutes later, hoseok pulled up to the only nightclub in the neighborhood to pick you up.

he struggled to hold back a laugh as he saw you draped over your friend’s arms, blissfully drunk, giggling, and utterly exhausted. when he started walking over to you, all of your friends began groaning and complaining to him about you which only made it harder for him not to laugh until your entire weight was shifted onto him and hoseok closed his eyes when you buried your face in his neck, savoring the tender moment.

just like every other minute that he’s alone with you, hoseok can’t believe this minute either.

“i’ve got her from here,” he says, carefully shifting your body to make you more comfortable and you hum in your drunken state, pushing your cheeks further into his collarbones and hoseok tries not to freeze.

“you should join us next time!” your friends all chime in together, their enthusiasm and kind intentions bleed around them and touch hoseok’s heart, maybe he had been too quick to judge them and hoseok gives in, nodding unsurely and they all erupt in cheers which makes him smile.

you had good people around you.

and that made him the happiest person in the world.

as he waves goodbye to them, his hands hold your body closer to him when you start to slide off and all of them exchange looks which hoseok ignores.

he carefully puts you in the passenger seat and pulls off the sidewalk.

he turned up the air conditioner, feeling his body get warmer and warmer as the seconds passed and he forces himself to look at the road and not you.

“hoseok?” the red light glowed on your face when he looked towards you, “yeah, it’s me, just taking you back home,” he doesn’t stop his hands from moving your hair away from your face and caressing your temples with his fingers.

how many years have passed with him missing you?

how many years of loving you has he missed out on?

he doesn’t know how jay would feel about this, maybe he would gag at hoseok’s tender eyes at this moment, perhaps he would tease him but he knows jay wouldn’t hate it.

hoseok pulls back almost immediately as you start to shift, only to relax when your face melts into his fingers.

if it didn’t feel so wrong, hoseok would’ve sat the rest of the night just looking at you and letting the rest of the world pass by.

“don’t take me to mom’s,” you whine and he laughs at your scrunched-up face, “okay, where do you want to go?”

“your’s,” you mumble, and hoseok’s face goes red, it takes him a few minutes and several cars honking at him to come back to earth.

when hoseok carefully lays you on the side of his body and takes you to his bedroom, he bears the torture of your arms tightening around his neck and the torture of your lips accidentally brushing on his skin.

“you like me, right?” you whisper into hoseok’s ear as he covers you with blankets on his bed and he freezes.

when he doesn’t respond, your eyes flutter open, still soft and fuzzy from the alcohol and you ask again, “hoseok, you like me, yes?”

and he’s taken back to the you that asked him out on a mary-go-around, the you that gave him the most honest confession of love in his life, the you that looked at him as if he ripped your heart out.

he nods, “of course i do, we’re family.” and you frown at him.

then, you sit up on the bed and lean forward to hold his face in your hands, hoseok starts sweating under the thin t-shirt he wore, and your fingers touch his face in places that he’s sure didn’t exist before, and every nerve of his melts and burns.

“i’ve always wanted to ask you something,” he says, now that there was no distinction between his breaths and yours and you nod, urging him to go on, “i thought i was always the one who had something to say,” you giggle, falling on his shoulder and hoseok laughs with you.

“why did you start talking to me again? after all this time? it can’t just be because of your mother,” and your laughter vanishes from the air around him, your touch too lifts from his shoulder, and hoseok’s confusion and curiosity grow.

he knows he’s asked the wrong thing, and said the wrong thing, he always does, but why would this question make you so upset?

he just wanted to know why after so many years of ignoring his entire existence, you suddenly chose to come to his home, and suddenly back into his life.

but he also loves that you’re back in his life.

“you don’t have to tell me, go to s-“ he gets up from the bed but is stopped by a hand grabbing his wrist tightly and he sinks back down beside you.

“my reasons are selfish, hoseok,” your tears come back and hoseok is rushing to wipe them away before they ever leave your eyes which only makes them gather faster.

“i don’t care,” he shakes his head and he really doesn’t.

“you should.”

“but i don’t.”

use him, don’t use him, throw him away, or keep him, he’s okay with it all.

your eyes search in his face, any trace of a lie, any trace of dishonesty and you find none that urges you to say, “i need you.”

a strange rush of warmth and bashfulness washes over hoseok as your words run him over.

“it hurts so much and i can’t do this alone, i need you, i just want it to stop hurting,” and hoseok’s heart stops at your broken voice because he knows what’s hurting you and nothing in the world can fix that kind of pain, “i don’t know how to live anymore, every time i come home, i miss him in the space next to my mom, i miss him in the counter that you stand at now, i miss him everywhere and i can’t say this to anyone.”

hoseok barely feels your hands grabbing his as your sobs climb up your throat, “except you, hoseok. no one knows what i feel, it’s pathetic that i miss him still but so do you, i know you feel this too, right?”

and he knows, he knows exactly what it feels like and he also knows that this was building in you since over the past ten years, the same way it’s been building in him.

that sense of loss that never goes away.

that sense of waiting for the relief that comes with moving on, that never came.

that sense of having nowhere to go and cry it out because the rest of the world doesn’t see what it’s lost, only he can and only you can.

“i do,” he finally choked out and your cries grew louder, hoseok winced at the volume and tapped your arms to calm you down but he was barely calm himself.

years and years of his grief catch up to him, run him over, trample over him and his mind ignites with every single second he spent with jay, every single he spent missing jay and then ignoring his memory.

all of it grabs him by the throat and chokes him but he lets your head fall onto his shoulder, and keeps his own tears away from his eyes as your body breaks on him.

when you were kids, hoseok had held you when you were laughing, he had felt your joy go through him, spread onto him, he could feel your happiness as if it was his own.

when you laughed in the car with him, the sound jogged his memory on how to laugh, on how to feel happiness again, he felt it go in and out of him in waves that he couldn’t control.

it was a miracle to him that just by touching someone, you can feel what they feel.

but now, holding you when you were crying, feeling every tear on his own skin, the burden of it all sunk him deeper than he could pull out of but he held you, he wrapped a singular arm around you and buried his head in your hair.

if anyone was going to know that he cried about jay, it was you and if anyone was going to miss jay with you, it was him.

and that night, he let himself fall in love.

-

the next morning, hoseok woke up with swollen eyes but a happy heart, a less lonely heart, he got up from the couch and entered his bedroom where he spent several minutes just staring at your face and stopped himself from kissing your cheek.

he stepped out of the bedroom quietly, padding his feet as gently as he could on the floor, and started preparing pancakes, hot chocolate, and everything else he could remember as something you liked as a kid.

hoseok couldn’t keep the smile off his face the entire time he whisked the batter, stirred the hot chocolate, and put out the plates. every moment that passed reminded him of you in his bedroom, it made him feel fuzzy and warm and ticklish, as if the sun had come to sit on his shoulder.

finally, his life was falling into place.

he almost jumped in excitement when the sound of his bedroom door creaking echoed throughout his apartment. he peeked around the corner to see you dragging your feet with even more swollen eyes than his and he stifled a laugh.

“good morning, pretty,” hoseok sang and giggled when your groan came as a reply.

“what’s all this?” your eyes barely opened to see the spread of food in front of you and he shrugged, “just some breakfast for you, did you take the aspirin beside  the bed?”

you nodded and stood unsurely until hoseok got up and pushed you to sit down gently, “sit down, it’s all still hot, have it soon,” he kissed the top of your head and you stiffened under him.

hoseok quickly stepped away, laughing uncomfortably, and sat down as well.

for the next few minutes, he waited as you took in everything in front of you and his heart raced the entire time.

did he do too much?

was he moving too fast?

but he had already wasted so much time over the years, he wasn’t going to make the same mistak-

“why?”

hoseok frowns at your question, leaning forward to see if he heard it right but when he looks up, he sees your tear-filled eyes and he knows he’s fucked up somehow.

“w-what happened?”

“why are you doing all this?” he doesn’t know if you’re asking him or accusing him of something.

“what do you mean?”

“why.are.you.doing.this?” you punctuate every word with quick breaths and hoseok knows he’s pissed you off.

why or how he’s done that, he has no idea.

“i thought some food would be nice in the morning, especially with your hangover,” he stumbles over his words because he didn’t think he would ever have to explain why he made breakfast for someone.

you stay quiet.

he says your name.

once.

twice.

thrice.

then, you get up from the chair and look at him with both the most anger he’s felt in someone and also, the most pain, “i can’t do this,” you mumble and in the next minute, hoseok’s door is left wide open and your seat is empty.

he watches the food go cold and tries to hold himself together as he clears everything up, all the warmth he felt in the morning disappeared down the same drain that his food went.

and all he could was watch and let it happen.

-

weeks passed and hoseok dipped in and out of the restaurant, trying to see you, catch a word with you, and try to fix things, but whenever you saw him, you ran away.

whenever he waved to you, you would hesitantly lift your hand and then look away, engaging yourself with someone else.

whenever he called you, you wouldn’t pick up.

his messages remained on delivered.

and hoseok’s heart broke little by little as he saw you intentionally pull away from him.

he couldn’t understand why, you had such a beautiful night together, you had poured your heart out to him and he had done the same to you but somehow, it was as if that night didn’t exist to you.

maybe he read it all wrong?

maybe you just needed him as someone who felt the same as you, who experienced the same grief and here he was, his heart growing wings and the love he buried blooming again.

but you had loved him ten years ago.

and that confession was still fresh in his mind, still the most honest thing he’s heard in his life.

maybe he was stupid for ever thinking that you still felt the same love from ten years ago?

but as his mind replayed your words, ‘i need you’, it didn’t make sense to him that suddenly, you wanted to push him away.

“take these when you go home,” your mom packed him multiple boxes of side dishes and rice and everything else she could cook throughout the day and he nodded, thanking her with a kiss on her head, and headed for the door.

until he heard your voice.

his entire body froze at your presence.

but he’s had enough.

hoseok turned around and started walking with loud steps towards the kitchen, and when you came into his vision, he didn’t feel the warmth or the love or any of the good stuff.

he only felt the hurt that blinded him that morning, he only felt the pain spearing his heart as he threw everything away, he only felt the loneliness that played with him until the late hours of the night.

hoseok knows he’s not the best person but he also knows that he didn’t deserve that.

“you asked me that day, why i was doing all that. let me ask you now, why are you doing this?” he glared right at you, and in the corner of his eyes, he saw your mom glance between the two of you and then duck out of the kitchen.

he will apologize to her later.

in front of him, you tilted your head at him and tried to appear tough by crossing your arms across your chest and staring back at him.

but hoseok is past this, he’s tired of being lonely but he doesn’t want this, he doesn’t want to feel lonely when he’s in love.

“look, i don’t know what’s going through your mind and i never will until you tell me, but you can’t do this to me, you can’t push and pull whenever you like, i know you’re hurting somehow but i am too, so figure yourself out and then come to me because i know that i’m not alone in this feeling, i know you feel it too.”

with that, hoseok marched out of the kitchen, hugged your mom on the way out and went back to his empty home, where he might’ve felt lonely but he at least didn’t feel miserable.

you will hopefully find your way back to him.

but if you don’t, hoseok’s just going to have to find a way to be okay with that too.

-

days passed again and hoseok tried to move on.

you didn’t call or message or try to reach him and he took it as a rejection, which was still okay, he would still be okay.

he busied himself with his work, with your mom’s restaurant, and tried to learn how to cook, tried to liven up his apartment with knick-knacks, he took up arts and crafts.

hoseok did everything he could think of and for the most part, he really was okay.

but he also really wasn’t that okay.

he drifted through the days, pushed you out of his mind, and drank a bit from time to time to forget you only to hover his finger over your contact every night, he still kept the blanket you slept on in the corner of his room and not in the laundry basket where it should’ve been.

but still.

he was okay, he told himself, he would go back to some version of himself which was okay.

hoseok walked to the restaurant with his head down, earphones in and counted his steps because he had nothing else to do.

when he reached, he still didn’t look up, he continued to his counter where he removed his hoodie and put on an apron, humming to himself and cleaning the counter up.

until your mom’s shoes came into his view and by the time he looked up, she had grabbed his arm and started shaking him which made him frown.

he looked up to see her tear-streaked face and echoes of her sobs that traveled from her hands to him and the desperate shouts he could only see with his earphones in.

his hands shakily reached up to remove his earphones and then he heard it.

the heart-stopping cries and yells.

hoseok’s eyes went round with panic and he immediately grabbed her body as she fell onto him, he tried his best to soothe her but seeing her tears, was already choking him up.

he tried to keep his panic at bay as he patted her back and tried to make sense of her babbling.

what if something happened to you?

he couldn’t deal with that kind of grief; he wouldn’t survive it.

“she hasn’t picked up a single call,” something did happen to you, and hoseok bit the inside of his cheek to hold back his sobs.

“ma,” he grabbed her shoulders, forcing her to look into his eyes, “please breathe with me,” she nodded, timing her inhalation and exhalation with him and when her sniffles subsided, she told him, “she ran away this morning, i’ve looked everywhere and i’ve called everyone, no one has seen her, i don’t know what to do and the police aren’t doing anything until she’s gone for a day but you know her, she never does this.”

she rambled endlessly to him and hoseok held onto her the entire time, feeling only a bit hurt that she never called him but that wasn’t a concern right now.

at the end of it, he offered her a glass of water, removed his apron, and pressed a kiss to the top of her head before heading straight for the door.

“hoseok,” he stopped at her voice, “i only didn’t call you because i know you two aren’t doing well right now, otherwise you know you’re like my son.” and hoseok melted, he smiled and took her hands as he said, “don’t worry about that ma, we’re family, you keep calling people and i’ll try to find her.”

he didn’t know what to feel once he stepped out of the restaurant.

in the restaurant, he could focus on reassuring and comforting your mom, he could place all his energy into caring for her but now, he was alone and he didn’t know what to feel.

hoseok got into his car only to realize he didn’t know where to fucking begin, you could be anywhere by this time, even a different city but he has a feeling that you were not too far.

but he didn’t know that with certainty either.

every thought he had only put him in a chokehold as his mind reeled with every worst-case scenario.

nevertheless, he put his fears aside and started the car.

the next few hours, he drove in every street, looked in every club and café, kept checking his phone some one million times, and stopped at the entrance of his summer camp where his life seemed to begin and end.

jay would’ve had a panic attack if he was here with hoseok right now, hoseok smiled as he thought of how worried jay would’ve been and how he probably would’ve cursed you out after finding you, how he would’ve hugged you and hoseok in relief, how he would never let it happen again.

jay would’ve been so many things if he was still there with hoseok and that killed hoseok every day.

he kept staring at the entrance where he ran out of the day jay died, where he held back his tears and shook his head and told himself that it was all a lie, that his best friend was still alive.

hoseok threw his head back on his car seat.

grief was so unfair; it took away so much and left him with so little.

if it was so hard for him, he couldn’t imagine how much more angry or sad grief would’ve made you over the years.

and just as he blinks back tears, his phone rings and he runs his hand over his face to answer it, “ma, i’m still out, don’t worry, we’ll find her,” he starts reassuring only to hear nothing on the other end.

“hello?” he frowns.

“hoseok?”

and he almost drops his phone in relief.

“god, are you okay?” he immediately sits up, starting the car again, “where are you? i’m coming to get you right now, what the fuck were you thinking?”

“why aren’t you home?”

“huh?”

“why aren’t you home right now?”

“are you at my place?” hoseok frown becomes even deeper and he knows your silence only means one thing, he sighs out, “stay there.”

and he’s turning the car, calling your mom to tell her the news, and feeling a hundred different emotions as he reaches the lane of his apartment.

right by his door, he finds you, sitting on the floor with your knees to your chest and the rocks slid off his shoulders, he feels air enter his chest at the sight of you, unharmed and safe and breathing and…alive.

he doesn’t know why he’d even thought as far as you being dead but he couldn’t help it.

it was midnight but the moonlight, as always, found you and your tears, and hoseok sat right next to you and stretched his legs out in front of him.

 “why didn’t you say anything back?” he hears you mumble and he frowns, “when?”

“that day in summer camp, when i told you i liked you, why didn’t you say anything back?”

and hoseok sighs, the secret he’s held in his heart for as long as he remembers, starts crawling up his throat, “i like you too,” and his lack of using the past tense has you sitting up straight, tears now reduced to sniffles.

“you do?” and the way you ask it almost has him hitting his own head, how did he ever let you think otherwise?

“i would be crazy if i didn’t,” he smiles weakly at you, his heart suddenly exposed and raw and beating louder than it ever has before, and you fall back on the wall, “but you just walked away then.”

and hoseok knows he can’t hide it anymore.

“i didn’t say anything because i went to jay,” hoseok recalls how cold the night was, how quick his steps were to reach his best friend and he watches your face light up and fall, all in just seconds.

“i needed to ask him if it was okay, i needed to tell him that i liked his sister and that i wanted to take care of her, and he didn’t like it,” hoseok shakes his head, a strained laugh leaving his lips, “we fought all night, but i guess he saw how much i meant it, so he gave me his blessing,” he looks up at you and you’re closing your eyes, letting your head fall back.

“he gave us his blessing, y/n, he did and that’s why i’ve never given up on you, he was so dramatic about it, you would’ve hit him if you saw him say it,” he laughs, the memory still so fresh of jay hugging hoseok and whispering to him that he would be dead the next second if he ever hurt you, how jay stopped himself from smiling as he thought of you with him.

he kept that close to his heart and never told anyone about it, it was for him and jay until today but now, it was for you too.

every time he felt bitter over the years that you avoided him, hoseok reminded himself that he loved you and he always will, and jay would love that hoseok loved you.

and you’re holding back sobs that still escape and tear into the world.

“i’m sorry,” he hears you say and he hums before placing your head on his shoulder, he tries not to cry when he feels your sobs, he sniffles and looks at his feet.

“i was so scared that morning, i told you everything i’ve never told anyone the night before and you still treated me with love, i thought you would tell me to leave, that you would finally have had enough but you didn’t and it still scared me. you shouldn’t be in my life hoseok, i will ruin you,” his heart sinks and hoseok moves closer to you because he doesn’t know where he belongs if it’s not beside you.

“i don’t want to be anywhere else,” he says and presses his hand to the side of your head.

“i can’t stop missing him, hoseok, i don’t know what’s wrong with me,” you shake your head and he sighs, feeling his throat close up.

“i miss him too.”

“but it’s been so long and i feel like i should move on by now, i don’t know,” you mumble, your tears falling into his shirt and skin.

“jay’s not some ancient history but i think he would hate both of us for being stuck like this.”

“i don’t know another way to live.”

“neither do i,” he shrugs, he knows how lonely he’s felt, how solitary his life was but, “but it will always hurt, sometimes a little, sometimes a lot, you lost a brother, a companion for life, i lost a best friend, my soulmate and it’s always going to hurt. but i don’t want either of us to be alone in that pain, we don’t deserve that.”

life can take everything away from him but if we had a few good people and he could love those people, that was enough for him.

“it’s about time we start living for jay, do everything he would’ve done, feel everything he would’ve felt, and keep him alive, don’t you think so?”

and when you nod, fall on his shoulder, and whisper your love to him, it’s just like the first time, the most honest words he’s heard in his life.

hoseok knows his life can sometimes feel empty but sometimes, like right now, it can feel so full that he wouldn’t know what to do with all the love he gave and received.

he whispers his love back to you.

until dawn, you cried on his shoulder, and in the morning, hoseok made breakfast for you, you kissed him and whispered your thanks, he kissed you and whispered his love again, and you smiled and ate the food he made.

and it was calm, normal, another day but everything had changed once again for hoseok.

because this time, he had you and you had him, and in both your hearts and minds, you had jay.

and you learned to live life again, with love, and not just regret, with happiness, and not just guilt.

you lived, not just to grieve and mourn, but to actually live and build a life, with hoseok right by your side. he lived, without

-

taglist: @blissingtaehyung @cuteipat @hobicorewhore @yoongleskitten @mrjeonghan @greenie-frog @avawants2havefun @an-ever-angry-bi @alyenorgondorwarrior thank you all so much for liking the preview, i hope you enjoy the full fic <3]

[anangelwhodidntfall]

Good Enough: Dad!Jake Sully

Avatar Masterlist 

word count: 1k

description: Once your father’s world, you start acting out when he starts ignoring you and only your father can figure out what is going on

Jake and Neytiri were at loss, especially Jake he didn't understand what was going on with you lately and why you were acting out so much.  All you ever did anymore was talk back and argue with them, and they couldn't figure out why, usually Lo'ak was the problem child, not you. Today was the final straw when you snuck out to join the war party after Jake specifically told you to stay behind and watch Tuk and help with the wounded, something you clearly didn't agree with.

"Jesus, I let you two geniuses fly a mission and you disobey direct orders," he sighed. "Not to mention you almost got your sister killed!" He said to Neteyam and Lo'ak who you felt bad for, your dad was always so hard on them.

"I came on my own." You said rolling your eyes and making Jake whip his head in your direction.

"What did you say?" He asked.

"I said I.came.on.my.own. and that these two tried to get me to return home and I didn't listen to them, so if it's anyone's fault, it's mine." You said looking in dead in the eye as Jake was rendered speechless at you.

"I'll deal with you later." He said tiredly running a hand down his face.

"Yeah, it's always later with you." You mumbled as you left the tent and went to go see your grandmother so she could look at you.

After getting looked at by your grandma, you headed back to your tent hoping to get some sleep, making sure to avoid your father and how much he couldn't see how much you were hurting and that you were acting out to get his attention. You had been laying there silently crying when you heard your parents talking, probably assuming you were asleep.

"I don't know what I'm gonna do with her, I can't keep doing this." Your father said.

"Jake she's just going through something...l can try and talk to her." Your mother offered.

"I know she is....but why can't she be more like Neteyam or Kiri, you know?" He said breaking your heart as you realized you were never gonna be good enough for him.

"Ma Jake, don't talk like that...she is perfect just the way she is, sure her attitude could use some fixing but I still love her as the day she was born and so should you." Your mother said to him but it was too late as you knew how he truly felt.

You waited until everyone was asleep and decided to go for a night-time flight to clear your head and think about everything. You walked over to your Ikran and climbed on top of her before taking off.  After flying for a bit, you landed in a pasture and just relaxed trying to calm your thoughts wondering if one day you would be good enough for your father.

Jake was restless that night, hating that yours and his relationship were so strained, there used to be a day when you weren't seen without him and now you were practically strangers. He got up and went to check on you when he saw your tent empty making him worry as you and ikran were gone. He climbed on top of his and circled around looking for you or Ikran until he saw you both which he let out a sigh of relief.

"If you have come to yell at me or lecture me more, please go." You said not even looking at him which broke his heart.

"I haven't. Baby girl I just wanna figure out what's been going on with us lately?" He said taking a seat next to you.

"Why? It's not actually like you care." You said turning away from him and making him frown at your words.

"Hey talk to me. Where is this coming from?" He asked gently and even more worried.

"I heard what you said to mom about how you wish I was more like Kiri or Neteyam..Do you realize I've been acting out to get your attention because I don't feel good enough for you! You the one who trained me and yet you don't let me go out on missions but you'll tell Lo'ak of all people?? How am I supposed to feel when I'm told to sit here and take care of others when I know I could be out there helping you and mom?  You don't talk to me or have any time for me and I hate that so much, it's always later baby girl, or not now baby girl. I miss our relationship but it doesn't seem like you do." You said breaking down into tears as Jake sat there in shock at your words before moving towards you and gathering in his arms.

Jake held you in his arms gently rocking you as he tried to calm you down while he also processed your words, he never meant to make you feel that way, that you weren't good enough for him because you were if any of his children were a carbon copy of him, it was you. Once your breathing was back to normal he decided to speak.

"You are good enough for me more than...I never meant to make you feel like you weren't and I'm sorry that I did...when I have to stay back here with your sister and the others it's not because I don't believe in your abilities as a warrior, trust me I do...it's because I know that if something was to happen, they would have you to protect and defend them...I'm sorry I made you think I was doubting you or didn't believe in you because I do so much. I didn't realize that I had gotten so wrapped in the war party stuff and your brothers that I ignored you, it was never my intention. I hope you can forgive me, baby girl." He said.

"As long as you can forgive me for the way I've been acting." You said looking at him.

"Of course, what do you say tomorrow we spend the day together like we used to do?" He offered you.

"I would love that. I love you, dad." You said to him.

"I love you too baby girl." He said pressing a kiss to your forehead.

[candyskiez]

usually I hate possession plots but god,I love the possessed hunter plot. because it's just so painfully resonant as an abuse victim. especially to anyone who's been abused by bigots.

like. this outside force you once loved, you spent so much of your time trying to please, so much of your time begging for the approval of, isolates you. they cause you to grow paranoid and angry, snapping at people and pushing you away from your support system. makes you seem crazy to your loved ones, making them doubt your mental health and making you question your sense of reality because you can't tell what's real or not anymore (gaslighting, baby!) you're cut off and overwhelmed. you get put in situations where you're forced to do things you don't want to, you're in so much pain, you're being treated like something with no wants or thoughts of their own. you're stripped of your autonomy. you're belittled for what you wanted and told THIS is how you're supposed to be, and you're so miserable. you're pitted against your loved ones. your abuser tries to make all your loved ones hate you so you come back to them, so they don't lose you. and belos being a horrifically realistic portrayal of an IRL abuser makes this so much worse. he craves Caleb's attention and tries to force hunter to fill that void. nevermind HES the one who robbed himself of caleb in his life by killing him. he tries to make hunter his shoulder to cry on, his therapist, his punching bag, his doctor. uses him to look at himself and go "see! look how good I'm doing! my family is back and he finally loves me again!" , he is obsessive and horrible and cruel and so horrifically realistic. he strips hunter of his autonomy, and in the shit that will start sounding familiar to people who grew up in bigoted families:

forced him out of what made him most comfortable. literally grew out his hair against his will, treated how he'd changed his body and wardrobe to make himself more comfortable as something that tainted him.

also just. holy shit the violating him like that. just the fucking undertones. it's fucking horrific.

and that's why him fighting back is so huge. because he has the strength to say, no. fuck you, no. this is my goddamn body. this is my goddamn life. he takes all these things he LOVED. he loved, that belos had taught him he was sinful and a horrible person for not despising (hm, allegories) and says, fuck you, I WANT this. I want this, I love this, you tried to teach me to hate it but I don't. I love it. I love it, and you didn't break me. I want to leave the coven, I want to leave you. you hurt me, and I said sorry. you used me, and I said sorry. I am done being sorry. I am done feeling bad. I want this life you're trying to take from me. I want to go to the boiling isles and I want to have a life there, in that world you hate so much. I want to go to the boiling isles and be sinful and disgusting and everything you hate and I will love it. I will be happy. I will be free and everything you hate. and I miss when I thought I could please you, because it was simple. but I am happier as a heretic and as a sinner, and you can't change me. I tried to change myself for you, I just ended up miserable. you can't make me something I'm not. I tried. and I am done trying. I am hunter. fuck you, my name is hunter. my name is hunter, and you hurt people. it doesn't matter if you were trying to help me. you hurt me. and I am done, and I am leaving, and most of all I will never let you hurt anyone else like you hurt me.

and he fucking got it, man. he fucking got it. he went through HELL and he still came back swinging. the death feels symbolic to me almost? losing a part of you in traumatic events and you have to live without that part. and you got out but you lost pieces of you in the process, and that stays with you.

but he keeps going. he kept fucking going man and THAT is fucking amazing to me. he kept going. ohhh my god. I wish I had this when I was 13. hunter isn't as massive of a hyperfixation for me anymore by a long shot, but goddamn. I love this dude. I LOVED the possession scene so fucking much and it will always resonate with me so, so hard.

[spacebaby1]

MY BEAUTIFUL SON (Gojo Satoru × Mom!Reader Ft: Megumi)

WARNING: It might have a tiny spoiler? Mention of death, child loss, blood.

This couldn't be real, why was this happening? Gojo promised you that he will keep Megumi safe no matter what happens. Then why did this happen? Why?

All these thoughts went through your head as you sat on the floor staring blankly at the flower framed picture of your son, your only child; your Megumi. The house was full with all your family and Gojo's. You didn't bother to hear whoever that greeted you or gave you their condolences as they entered the house, you just sat there unresponsive to no one.

All the memories of your Megumi kept rushing to you, the first time you held him, the little smile he gave you when you held him, the first time he walked, the first day of his school, and his first argument in first class. A little smile that you had on your lips was taken away with the recent memories of you standing in front of the lifeless body covered with white sheet, they needed you to identify your boy, your little boy, and your world. He was gone. You remembered falling on the floor when you noticed his hair black hair, you could never mistaken his beautiful black hair that he inherited from you. You remembered screaming and pushing your husband Gojo away, hitting him and screaming at him, "YOU TOOK MY BOY, YOU KILLED MY BOY" you remembered the way you refused to let him help you stand and just stayed on the floor crying and screaming for your boy and you were sure everyone standing outside heard you, your screams made yuji, and the others burst into tears. You remembered how pale and cold he was when you held his face begging him to wake up, "G-Gumi wake up, baby, please. M-Ma-Mama is H-Here Please, Meg-Megumi, my beautiful boy, wake up Mama wants to see you Please please wake up, Don't leave your Mama like this, I will make you your favorite d-dinner just please please wake up-"

"Y/n" Shoko whispered holding back her own tears as she reached for you, but you pushed her hand away, "No, please Gumi don't leave me like this, you are not ready to leave me, wake up MEGUMI MEGUMI WAKE UP WHY ARE YOU NOT WAKING UP, please please God, not my boy, not my Gumi." You placed your forehead on his cold one, "My beautiful Boy, Gu-Gumi, wake up please."

You cried and cried slamming your fist on the ground till you were bleeding leaving your arms numb in pain it was for Shoko to stop you before you broke your hands Meanwhile Gojo sat in shock repeating your words in his head, "YOU KILLED MY BOY." He didn't even have the strength to stop you from hurting your hands when he would've done in a heartbeat if the situation was different but he knew the pain you are feeling right now is all his fault.

You saw Gojo's mother sitting next to you and placing her hand on your shoulder snapping you out of your memories, she was crying too but you couldn't care about anyone's feelings right now, you simply placed your bandaged hand on top of hers and simply pushing it off your shoulder, something you would've never do if this wasn't the situation.

Your heart almost stopped when you heard him walk in and you knew it was Gojo even when he only walked in not saying a word, immediately you stood up and were on your feet. Your red eyes met with his; you noticed how pale and weak he looked, how different he looked, but your usual thoughts were far away from you right now as you stood with your son's picture coverd in flowers and everyone is dressed in black.

He walked towards you to hold you only for you to slap him, the act was so harsh that your stitches snapped open making your hands bleed as you walked towards him now slapping him again and again and Gojo didn't even move an inch your hits on him made his lips bleed, you winched in pain and he moved to attend to your hand but you pushed him away punching him right in the jaw while tears started to stream down your cheeks and you slammed your fists on his chest staining it with your bloody hands as you screamed at him, "WHY ARE YOU HERE? WHAT DO YOU WANT NOW? YOU ALREADY TOOK MY SON FROM ME, MY ONLY CHILD, I BEGGED YOU SATORU, I BEGGED YOU TO NOT TAKE HIM, I CRIED AND BEGGED YOU TO NOT TAKE MY ONLY SON, MY BEAUTIFUL BABY BOY, HE WAS A CHILD! HE WAS ONLY A CHILD, WHY DIDN'T YOU SAVE HIM? DID YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM? MY BOY WAS ALONE AND IN PAIN, GOJO HE FELT EVERY PAIN-" Gojo's mother tried to calm you down but you pushed her hand away and kept screaming even though you felt like you would die, shaking in your place you screamed at your Husband, "MY GUMI FELT SO MUCH PAIN AND I WISH YOU FELT ALL THAT, I WISH YOU DIED INSTEAD OF HIM DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH PAIN H-HE GUMMIIIIII MEGUMI," you fell on the floor remembering the details of his injuries, you fell on your knees and cried, "P-please leave Satoru, go away, please please go I can't look a-at you please-"

No one dared to move as they couldn't understand how much pain you were in, Gojo fell to his knees crying and bowed his head on the floor in front of you, "I'm sorry I'm so so sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry, I'm sorry I wish it was me, I'm sorry, I w-would give my life in a heartbeat to h-have Gumi back, I'm sorry I'm sorry I failed to keep my promise, I'm sorry I failed to keep Megumi safe I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm begging you I'm sorry, I'm sorry I put you through all this pain."

With tears in your eyes you got up shaking your head still looking down, you made your way to your son's room and fell on the floor hugging his school uniform close to your heart it still smelled like him, "Megumi come back, please, Mama can't live without you."

[bluestar22x]

Maze Find

Summary: When your dog runs into a corn maze, you run into Frankie Morales

Pairing: Frankie Morales x F!Reader

Rating: General

Word Count: 900(ish)

Warnings: None, pure Hallmarky fluff

Author’s Note: This is my submission for jolabrew + withcheese fall challenge ( @goodwithcheese and @jolapeno ) - I picked Morales Mocha with corn maze mishap (more like meet cute).

xxx

"Biscuit, where are you?" you called out, eyes scanning your surroundings, trying not to panic.

There wasn't much to see beyond corn stalks, given you were in a corn maze, but you had to try.

Your new dog Biscuit, a rescue from the local animal shelter, had managed to wiggle his way out of, you could admit, his too loose collar to chase after a squirrel during your afternoon walk.

The last you'd seen of him, about three minutes ago, was his wire haired sandy colored body slipping into the corn field, which was unusually busy due to the time of year.

The owner was hosting a corn maze, open to anyone, for a small price. A price the farmer had waivered for you when you explained why you needed access to his field.

You hadn't seen the dog since his initial escape, and you were starting to worry that he was no longer even in the area. Hounds were well known for running off far.

You were nearing the end of the maze when you turned a corner and sagged with relief, finding Biscuit sitting in front of a tall man with a well trimmed beard and a Standard Heating Oil cap perched on top of his head. A nearly fully eaten ice cream cone was in his right hand, a paper shopping bag in the other.

"This wanderer yours?" he asked when he saw you appear, an amused expression on his face.

"Sorry, he got off the leash," you explained, "Saw a squirrel and it was too hard to resist."

He chuckled and you smiled at him as you approached and slipped Biscuit's collar back around his neck, tightening it in the process. You liked the sound of the stranger's laughter. It was warm, hearty. "Thanks for distracting him while I caught up."

"It was purely by accident," he told you, shrugging. "He was interested in what I'm eating."

You nodded. "Ice cream is a weakness of his."

The man's lips curved up. "Mine too."

"So what are you doing in the maze?" you inquired. "Got a lost dog of your own?"

He had to be either a farm hand or a parent, but you were curious. He was very easy on the eyes, and you were pretty sure you'd never seen him around before. The town wasn't so small that not knowing him was impossible, but still.

"No, just a lost kid," he said, "Except not actually lost. I can see from here where he's hiding." He glanced over your shoulder. "Nic come on out. It's time to head home."

A young boy, maybe four, shot out from between the stalks to your left. "Aww...already?"

"Yes, already," the man said in a tone you immediately recognized as fatherly stern. "Your mom will kill me if we're late."

You cocked an eyebrow at him and he laughed. "She won't actually kill me, but Nic's mother is planning to take him to see a movie tonight and she doesn't like being late to anything."

"Ah, Nic's mother," you repeated. That didn't sound like they were still together. You shouldn't care, but you did. Because he was handsome, especially in the green plaid shirt he was wearing, and seemed nice.

"Yeah, we divorced three years ago. On good terms. But she likes her schedules."

"Can I pet your dog?" Nic interrupted.

You grinned at his politeness, most kids didn't ask, even though they should with strange dogs. "Of course, Biscuit would love it."

Nic kneeled down and started petting him under the chin and the dog flipped over to expose his belly, making everyone laugh.

"Looks like you've made a new friend," you declared, grinning.

"He's so silly," Nic said, "What kind of dog is he?"

"A Basset Fauve de Bretagne," you answered.

The young boy blinked at you, confused. "A Basset what?"

You chuckled. "It's a French breed. You know France?"

The boy nodded. "Mrs. Bran is teaching us how to read maps."

"Oh...interesting."

"It's...okay."

You laughed again at his honesty. "Well, I promise the country is more interesting than its map."

Nic's father gave him a few moments more to stroke Biscuit then repeated that they had to go.

The boy pouted but did as told, heading out for their car at the end of the maze.

"Thanks again..." you trailed and the man took the hint.

"Frankie. Most people call me Frankie."

"Thanks again, Frankie."

"I didn't do much, but I'm glad to have helped..."

You gave him your name and smiled again. "Help is help."

You rummaged through your purse after and pulled out a pen and notepad.

"Those still exist?" Frankie joked as you put ink to the lined yellow paper. His dark eyes were curious as you jotted down something on it - your phone number.

You weren't usually so bold, but if he wasn't interested he just wouldn't call right? No big deal. But you'd regret not making an attempt at a date. You'd been single for far too long.

You passed him the note. "I'd like to thank you over coffee or something. My treat. Just call me when you're not busy sometime?"

He smiled and folded the paper up nicely. "I think I'll take you up on that offer. Let me drop off Nic, his mother's house isn't far, then I'll call."

"Sounds good."

You shared warm smiles and parted with your boys.

As promised, Frankie called a few hours later.

xxx

Tagged: @harriedandharassed

xxx

Main Masterlist

xxx

[spillthebea]

may prompt: secret relationship

@wolfstarmicrofic – words: 951

warning: suicidal thoughts/sacrifice yourself

... this is sad, guys

–––––––––––––––

“She was looking at you,” Sirius says first thing when Remus enters the room.

He is giving his back, folding and unfolding a shirt that has something against being unwrinkled. His hand stretches the material, fingers swiping the wrinkles away and yet, like the fucking itch of unwanted jealousy Sirius is feeling curled in his stomach, it does not cooperate. Why is he doing his laundry when Kreacher is there to lick his boots?

The door is softly closed and shoes are taken off.

“Was she?”

Sirius throws away the shirt exasperated, angry and turns, “Do not fucking play dumb, Remus!” in a burst of all the ugly thoughts haunting him throughout the day since the scene of the meeting. It won't stop replaying in his head.

Remus’ smile and Nymphadora's blush and how old Sirius felt with his sunk eyes and lost beauty.

After that, he went to his mother's room, rummaging in her vanity set for anything that would have helped give him what was once his. Sirius had been the light of the party. He had been flirted with, flattered and had charmed anyone with a look, or a grin and never cared for any of it because he had Remus in his heart.

But now? What does he have for himself?

He can't join the fight. Back in prison, now with just more rooms to roam around and run from his mistakes during sleepless nights of nightmares. He can't even maintain Remus’ eyes on himself because broken.

“… Sirius–”

“Do not use that fucking voice with me”

He sounds like his mother screaming at Orion. Between them, silence or Walburga demanding more of Father as she had done with all of them, her included. And in this house, his new cage, it's difficult to stop sinking in old memories and old fears.

He wants to apologise, reassuring he does not want to sound like Mother. Sirius has never wanted in his life to be like her.

He has always lost that fight.

“I want you to tell her. I want you to tell everyone, I'm tired of hiding.”

Remus quirks an eyebrow, the question loud between them; is Sirius still talking about their secret relationship?

“They won't kick you out of the Order if you tell them what we are,” Sirius continues, ignoring Remus’ little sigh, the drop of his shoulders because they both know it was coming. The signs were all there and no one else except Remus knew how to handle him. Not anymore, at least. All gone, leaving him behind. “They are your friends”

“They are your friends too.” Remus makes his way towards him, jacket wet from the rain outside and Sirius studies it as, just with his mind, he will feel the cold spring rain on his own skin.

Sirius cannot remember the last time he was outside. Even as Padfoot it could be dangerous because Peter… Peter could…

“No. I didn't rot for twelve years thought to have killed James and Lily to call those people my friends. All my friends are fucking dead!”

And so should I! is not said, but it is there between Sirius’ ribs and the need to point his finger at Remus for thinking him capable of wanting to hurt Lily and Harry, betraying James.

It's unfair. It was war, no one trusted no one; except Sirius did trust someone, didn't he? And everything had ended because of that.

Sirius, deep down, is aware that blaming Remus is not the way, but he spent the last twelve years replaying his errors, going through what he could have done to change them… spent those years blaming himself and now it's someone else's turn because he is so tired.

The pressure of his guilt has been clawing his heart for too long. What will Effie say when Sirius is going to meet her in his death?

It is a question that does not let him breathe. Night after night, her cries… He promised his ma he would take care of their James. How could she forgive Sirius after Godric's Hollow?

“Tonks looks at you,” Sirius mutters, hands brushing his hair away from his face and it does not help calm himself down.

She is younger. Full of life and less haunted than him. She can go wherever she wants and is so similar to a younger Sirius.

‘You must have noticed,’ he wants to accuse Remus. ‘You must or you would have not given her the time of day. Am I not enough?'

“And not making clear you are not interested does not help”

Tonks, she likes to be called. A change of name, a rewriting of fate just like Sirius who had hated his to the core– Effie would call them ‘Potters!’ for a meal or a family meeting and he had been included. A Potter. Not officially, neither of blood but in spirit, it had been enough.

Sirius wants to be enough; to have died saving his family like he had planned, bringing as many Death Eaters as he could six feet under with him. To be back in their old London apartment he got from Uncle Al, just the two of them. Remus and Sirius, on their sofa and Sirius stealing sips from Remus’ tea cup.

He wants Remus to touch and love him as they did when younger and less drained by life but when Remus tries to do that same thing, Sirius snarls and dodges to flee.

“Where are you going? Are you not coming to bed?”

The thought of lying down makes him itchy.

“We both know I won't sleep. Tonight, I don't have it in me to fake it for you”

----

np tag: @vlaflipvla (bc you were excited about it) @myriadparacosm

bc last time you said i didn't include you so now i did :))

[thedevilsoftruth]

Hey!, I just finished rewatching moon knight and now scrolling through the moon knight tags when I came across a post about how Mr knight is actually Marc Spector and Steven Grant is a playboy billionaire in the comics and I was shook. Then I came across your post of you ranting about the differences from the show to the comics, which blew my mind!, and now I’m so intrigued and curious about the true lore of moon knight, every time I try to search about it on google I just get references from the shows (so frustrating) I can’t afford to buy the comics, so if you can/want could you please tell me all the important and interesting facts/lore that’s in the moon knight comics?

Sorry for the long message, just came across your page and pressed follow, love your content!. ❤️

AAAAAAGGGGHHHH HOLY SHIT. HOLY SHIT. GIIGLING AND KICKING MY FEET IN THE AIR. HEY, LOOK MA, I MADE IT!! I GET TO EXPLAIN THE MOON KNIGHT COMICS LORE TO SOME GUY ON THE INTERNET!!

in all seriousness, this made my day. I'm so glad you enjoy my content, and I will happily explain to you the MK lore!

I completely get you on the not wanting to but the comics thing. Comics are expensive. Honey, imma be real with you, readcomiconline.li is where it's at. It's where I read all of the comics I didn't have.

So before I go on a tangent and explain things, and this goes for anyone wanting to start reading the comics, heres a little list of all the comics I've read so far in what I understand to be chronological order.

It's a little bit cheesy and a VERY long run, but Marc Spector: Moon Knight from 1989-94 is maaayybbeee where you want to start off, but maybe not. I didn't start off with this run, but even as bad as the old comics are, they're a bit important.

But, I HIGHLY suggest you start out with the Lemire and Smallwood run from 2016. It was the first run I completed, and it's an amazing run and VERY important to read. Many people say it's the best run. It's certainly a run, I'll tell you that. ( Also I didn't read that one online, I received it last year as a Christmas gift. Also readcomic doesn't have all of the issues, so be warned on that. )

Next I read From The Dead. And I moved on to Vengeance of The Moon Knight from 2009. And after I'd suggest reading Age of Khonshu, Devils Reign and then The Midnight Mission. You can read all of these for free on readcomiconline.li ( don't type in comics plural because it will direct you to the wrong site ) be warned though because there are a lot of ads and you will get jumpscared by anime boobies.

~~

Now moving onto what you asked me for. The important stuff, right.

I'm new to this whole comic reading stuff as well, and for anyone else reading this who knows more than I do, please add additional information I missed down in the reply section. It would mean a lot. So now I'm going to give a you a quick run down on Marc's origin story. ( And for a quick disclaimer, I will come off as not taking myself seriously in some parts of this post because I don't take myself seriously lol. )

Marc Spector was born on March 9th, 1987 in Chicago Illinois into a Jewish family. His father was Elias Spector and his mother was Wendy Spector ( his younger brother being Randall Spector )Elias was a rabbi who manged to escape Nazi prosecution during the days of Hitler and all that jazz. Because Elias was a rabbi, Randall would get picked on at school a lot, and Marc would be there to stand up for him. Even at a young age Marc was exposed to a lot of violence. That could come from growing up yk... Kinda poor and having to stand up for your lil bro.

Marc's violent nature was really born when a close family friend of his, Yitz Perlmen was discovered to be a secret serial killer who targeted Jews. From what I understand, Perlmen tried to Kill Marc ( mind you Marc was like 11 or 12 ) but Marc had escaped but his traumatic experiences led him to form D.I.D

As seen in the Lemire run, the first time Marc had encountered Khonshu was when he was 12 and was getting diagnosed for his D.I.D Marc wasn't told to his face from the doctor about his disorder and was told to step outside the office. Marc tried to evesdrop on the conversation, and from outside of the doctor's office, he meets Khonshu. Khonshu tells him, " That man in there is not your true father. I am. " Mind you, Marc is 12!!! 12!!!! Khonshu began manipulating Marc since he was twelve because he was, obviously really fucking young, and traumatized. Khonshus tactics were to strip Marc away from his religion and culture and make him submit to him.

So anyways, Marc was sent to Putnam Psychiatric Hospital and would stay there until he was 18 when his father funeral came along and he was let go for a week to go visit his family. This is where we learn Marc's relationship with his father was complex. Marc tells his mother, Wendy, that his father must have been happy to send him away because he was embarrassed by him. Wendy and Marc have an argument, which ends in Marc saying he's going to the bathroom, when he actually leaves to his childhood bedroom and escapes out the window when he hears Khonshus voice.

Marc later enlisted into the U.S marines Corps and served as a private for a couple years. But on Marc's second tour to Iraq, superiors started to report his odd behavior and they found out that Marc had lied about his disorder, leaving him to be discharged. Marc joined the CIA and served with his brother Randall. Randall was jealous of Marcs talents and killed Marc's girlfriend, Lisa, because she was going to expose a gun scheme. Marc then like... Threw bombs at Randall and shit and then assumed he was dead...but he wasn't.

Marc left the CIA after that and started doing illegal boxing, where he met his soon to be best friend, Jean-Paul Duchamp ( usually refered to as Frenchie ) and they became mercenaries together and started killing a bunch of people, in Marc's case, for mooonnneeyyy!!! Get that bag, girlie. And then Marc got put on trial for war crimes!! His crime being yk...assistanting the president of this south African country called Bosqueverde as one does.

And then he started to do missions under this group call the Karnak Cowboys and fell in love with one of his groupmates, Layla El-faouly, as seen in later issues of The Midnight Mission. Then she fucking died when an escape went wrong.

So anyways Marc meets this funny lil guy named Raoul Bushman ( he is not funny lil guy, he's killed hundred of people, probably) So Marc works for him with Frenchie and they, together, set to north Sudan to raid a dig site. ( This should start to sound familiar, as it was briefly touched on in the show when Arthur's guys captured Steven and put cuffs on him and slammed him in the back of their car ) Looks like raid shadow legends went down again, and things started to get not so epic when Raoul killed the lead Archeologist of the dig site, Peter Alraune in front of his daughter Marlene. This pissed the ever loving shit out of Marc because even though Marc likes violence, he doesn't enjoy violence against innocent people, and so he punches the fucker but uh oh! The Raoul Bushman Strikes Back, and he fucking KILLS MARC IN RETURN AND EVERYONE ELSE EXPECT FOR FRENCHIE AND MARLENE AND THIS ONE MF WHO TOLD HIM HE WOULD TELL HIM WHERE THE DIG SITE WAS. ( really Raoul left Marc mortally wounded, but he was on the brick of death, basically)

Marc was able to regain conscious and drag himself halfway to Khonshus tomb ( which is what Raoul was looking for ) Marlene and a bunch of other citizens find Marc and they carry him to Khonshus tomb. Marc hears Khonshus voice for yet another time, and Marc is revived and becomes the Moon Knight we all know and love. Then he basically killed Raoul's guys and then fell in love with Marlene.

So that's his origin story. Now onto the stuff I know as fact but it won't be explained in chronological order because I haven't read a ton of comics to explain it in chronological order.

He used Steven as a a way to handle money and build wealth so they could have recourses like vehicles, weapons and a ton of other random bullshit ( go!! ) that they don't need. Jake was used as a new York taxi driver so that he had his eye in the streets and knew when shit was goin down. They're both kind of horny. Jake literally spends some of his free time in a strip clubs drinking rum. ( As seen in the midnight mission and implied on in the Lemire run. )

His relationship with Marlene was long, but didn't last because, if I'm recalling correctly, Marc had a mental breakdown and decided to basically stop working for Khonshu so he could be with Marlene. But soon after he started hearing Khonshus voice again and Marlene couldn't take anymore of it, so she left him.

And then there's that bullshit with The Midnight Man. All I know is that he passed away from cancer and had a son named Jeff Wilde. Jeff aspired to Marc and wanted to be his sidekick, kind of like Robin and Batman in the Lego Batman movie with a little less adoption, but Marc kept on refusing as a way to protect Jeff. The Jeff had this whole thing where he turned evil or some shit idk and I guess Marc killed him? I'm not sure. Please, moon knight gang, let me know what happened in the reply section because I'm ignorant.

Marc had his independence from Khonshu after banishing Khonshu to Asgardian Prison ( seen in Age of Khonshu and discussed in The Midnight Mission) and decided " fuck you, I don't need need you anymore. Imma do my own thing and you can't do nothing about it " and then he became Mr. Knight. Mr. Knight is kind of a detective and he consults with policemen ( as seen in From The Dead ) Moon Knight is the one who does all the fighting.

From where Marc's development is at right now, Marc was running a thing called the Midnight Mission, which was a place where citizens would go to to report strange things happening in the city.

Additional, fun information:

Marc has a daughter named Diatrice. He only knows about it because Jake had a secret relationship with Marlene on the side after Marc and Marlene broke up.

He sleeps all day in the tomb of Khonshu and fights crime at night. He's like a bat!!

His ringtone ( as seen in the midnight mission) is The Killing Moon by Echo and The Bunnymen. ( Y'all should listen to it, if you haven't. it's really good. ).

He drives a red convertible car ( as seen in the Brain Micheal Bendis run, don't read it it's REALLY bad and insufficient. ) and also a motorcycle ( as see in Vengeance of The Moon Knight)

He was originally supposed to fight mainly just werewolf's and um... Writers at Marvel had different ideas.

His favorite drink is an ice cold vodka ( as seen in the Midnight Mission)

He had a mansion and then his money went bye bye and now he lives in a haunted house ( as seen, once again, in the Midnight Mission)

Frenchie is also gay! Hes married to a man named Rob! ( And this is only from what I've heard, by he apparently had a secret crush on Marc at some point.)

And yeah. That's all I have for ya today. Thank you if you made it this far, and I hope I was able to satisfy your curiosity a little bit!

Goodknight everyone!!!

[froggybrainz]

I think it'd be very cool and awesome and cool and rad if you had any headcanons or just facts about your versions of Creepypastas

Oh, goodie, headcannon time! (I get to ramble!)

Just to let ya know, the only ones I really got headcannons on are my main guys (Jack, Will, Frankie, and my OCs). Most stuff is farther back on my blog

Jack:

He's old old but he can only remember as far as when he met Issac. Everything else is blurry. Jack has a very broad range of abilities, ranging from shape-shifting to possession, but all that depends on whether or not Entity(his creator) finds entertainment in him. He can have more access to Entity's powers, but if they decide that they'll rather watch him get torn apart, then so be it. He's a romantic, but his ideas of romance are a lil different, tho.

So for Jack I've mentioned awhile back that when he was first created that he started off as a doll and developed into a more human like appearance as he gotten older like he's growing up into a man kinda thing. Well, he can also revert back if he gets put in uncomfortable situations or like when he got abandoned by Issac. The lack of physical and emotional support causes him to shut in on him, making him seem lifeless(like a doll). So, no blinking or breathing, he converts back to doll.-.

He's a secret sweetheart under all that anger and murderous tendencies. He might kill you if you found out, tho. He got this far known as The Devils Puppet, and he'll be damned to have anyone slip a word out that he likes someone (for their sake)

Willie:

He's 26 but has the body of a 50-year-old cause he's been doing dumb crap that he ends up regretting the next day. He's Jack lil errand boy, but they both do some pretty dumb stuff together. The more the marrier. If this guy was a drink it be Bush light. Sunburnt with a dip in his lip, but he's a child at heart.

William met Jack shortly after his grandfather died due to being attacked by feral anomalies in the rural countryside. Now his grandfather was his everything, his parents never gave him a time of day to be with their son but him. So sometime, goes by, and young Will meets a strange older looking man (Jack has the ability to shape-shift) who reminds Will of his grandfather. He was a grumpy old man who didn't like kids, but Will loved him all the same.

Now their relationship was, for the most part, Jack treating Will, like a pet, but he wasn't mean to him. Well, he wasn't very affectionate towards Will, but he never hit him. It wasn't for til Will got older when Jack realized just how much that country bumpkin of a boy cared for him. So what happened was that Jack got attacked by that same group of ferals, and Will was not gonna let them take his grandpa away from him again so full of rage Will takes his gun and kills the ferals before finally collapses in Jack's arms cause he thought he was gonna lose him. Jack started treating him better after that.

Frankie:

Just a flower child, I like the idea if he was born around the 1960s when hippies became popular as the movement to protest that not all anomalies are monsters and that they should be treated fairly. His father was an "undead" or "zombie," as the media called them while his mom was a human. Cross breading was a big no no and still is due to most humans and anomaly both actively attacking each other. (For those wondering, the anomalies can range from ferals to more intelligent individuals like slender or what not)

I still want to keep the idea that he's a bounty hunter, so a hippie with a gun sounds fun. He wants peace, but in a world full of hate, he often receives racism from both humans and anomalies, so he gets reminded that he's an abomination a lot...( ma poor boi). However, while on a case to hunt down, the Slenderman he ends up changing his plans to find out more about who's really pulling the strings in this mad world, but those answers rest in what's known as The Garden.

[writingintheshadowsforever]

Imagine Finding Out Riri is Ironheart

Ma is it okay if I pick you up tonight?

I want to take out

Y/N please

I'm sorry for missing dinner last night

This is getting ridiculous I apologized like ten times already

Babe just answer me you know I don't do silent treatment

Its going to be real funny when I flip the script

Ma please I want to show you something okay it will explain everything, isn't that what you asked for last night the truth right

Your phone was on constant vibration with the pace Riri was sending the messages. It made harder for you to ignore and instead focus on the plan for your next mission. Eventually you just gave up deciding to see what tactic your girlfriend was going to use this time to get out of the doghouse.

You rose an eyebrow at the first few messages. Of course she would start off with the typical make-up date. It took months to secure a dinner reservation at the particular restaurant. Riri was supposed to meet you at last night at ten.

You waited an extra forty-five minutes for her to show up, before putting in an order to-go. The waiter spent the entire time asking if you were sure you didn't want to go ahead and eat? The air of sympathy coming from him and anyone else who was sitting near you, or just happened to pass by was unbearable. Especially with the waiter as it was obvious he had been through the routine quite a few times.

What made so much worse was she didn't bother to text or call with an explanation. You had to show up at her dorm showing off your the nice dress with a bag in hand. At first Riri looked confused trying to figure out why you were all dressed up, but then her eyes landed on the bag's logo. She closed her eyes and released a sigh of guilt.

"Babe-"

You didn't want to hear it pushing past her into the room. The only reason you were even here was because one no matter how upset you were with her, you still wanted to make sure she was okay. And two you were tired and your feet was killing you, so you really didn't feel like making the drive to your apartment thirty minutes away.

Riri watched as you plopped down on her bed, dug the to-go box out of the bag, and started eating. The sound of her stomach growling reached your ears, and for a split second you thought about letting her starve. Of course you didn't telling her to come over to eat. You shared the food, and fell asleep in her bed alone for the first few minutes. While she tinkered with some robotic part for a class project.

Those actions lured Riri into a false sense of security making her think. She was off the hook for missing the date, only to wake up this morning to you not acknowledging her existence at all. Let alone talking to her.

In the beginning Riri refused to play your game and just went about her day. If you didn't want to talk to her that was fine. Until it wasn't and finally she realized she was the one in the wrong, and you had every right to be angry with her. This is a recurring thing with her.

That was when the texts started coming in it was around four 'o' clock. Riri just got out of her last class for the day, and usually you would be waiting for her in her dorm unless otherwise was already planned.

You didn't care if she scored court side tickets to a Celtics game. She wasn't going to fix things this time with a last-minute thrown together date. Letting her side all those other times with the tactic is what created the problem.

The text about her not doing the silent treatment did strike a nerve with you. It was almost like she was challenging to keep ignoring her, and you were tempted to do just that by silencing your phone altogether before putting it back down. But then your fingers kept scrolling and you saw the last message she sent. Your heart skipped a beat as you read it over and over.

Last night before turning over to face the wall you had asked her to tell you the truth. You went into a sleepy monologue about how much Riri had changed in the past few months, and all you wanted to do was understand. But you couldn't understand what she didn't tell you. Riri was keeping secrets, and while you definitely had yours. One thing you always made sure of was that they never came between your relationship with Riri.

Because you loved her more than anyone else in the world, and the thought of losing her made you want to jump off a cliff. It wasn't something you could take which is why you continued to give her so many chances.

Now here she was offering to give you exactly what you wanted. The only problem was the mission was supposed to go down tonight, if your partner came through that is.

On cue a pair of strong hands clapped you on the shoulder from behind shaking you a bit. "Y/N my girl guess what I have for you?"

Devin walked around to take a seat at the table placing a brown file folder down on the table. He was tall with an average build, light brown hair styled into a buzz cut, and blue eyes. Devin was a mixed kid with parents that came from opposite side of the tracks, but against all the odds still found love, and made it through the darkest times. Tragically though he lost both of them during the Snap after he fell victim to Thanos's plans. Neither of his parents could handle life without their precious baby, and soon enough his mother took her own life losing her battle to survivor’s guilt.

Losing his son and his wife in such a short time period led to his father turning to the bottle. The man had a drinking problem in his teenage years, it was his wife who helped him overcome the alcoholism. She gave up liquor and even wine herself, so he would never be tempted again. But with her gone and no one else in his life left to check up on him. His father gave in wanting the pain and loneliness to go away, the bottle would take his life.

Devin came back five years later to discover his parents were gone, and his entire life was turned upside down. He started going down a dark path but then he met you, making all the difference.

With huge grin he slide the file over to you and settled back in the chair. "Go ahead take a peek."

You sent Riri a quick reply telling her to let you think. Leaving her on read would just drive her more crazy, and have her come looking for you. Riri knew your routine like the back of her hand with you being a creature of habit. There was only one cafe you hung out just ten minutes away from your place. They had the best coffee and cookies in town in your opinion. She would check here first.

You opened the file to find numerous photos of a dark room, and upon taking a closer look you realized it was the inside of a vault. As you went through them the pictures got a lot clearer letting you see the details of this vault, and the door. "Are these...?" Your voice trailed off as you looked up at Devin with disbelief.

He nodded with pride leaning forward so no one else could hear him. "I know you wanted to hold off on this job for a bit longer, but that was because you didn't think I could get you the layout for the vault. But I worked my ass off and we got them."

"How?"

"My mom had an account with them, so I just went in acting all desperate asking if it was still open, and was there money in it. There was the dude in there working the counter checking me out. I got his number and viola" he explained.

"So this dude is okay with his crush being a hardened criminal" You replied in an accusing tone. While you were happy he got the pictures it didn't change the fact. He broke one of your biggest rules.

Don't ever get other people involved with the jobs especially if they weren't properly vetted by you.

Devin frowned "you say that like I've been to jail or something. I'm not exactly hardened you know, and I did have to pay him you know."

"How much?"

"3,500" he answered with a shrug. That amount of money was nothing to him considering the last job was a big score, and just two weeks ago.

"No how much of a cut does he want?" You asked firmer this time fixing him with a hard stare.

"He doesn't wan-"

You let out a impatient groan. "Don't play dumb Devin there's no way this guy risked his job and livelihood by taking these pictures for puppy-love. He knows you're planning to rob it and the second we do this job. He's going to hit up asking for some of it, if he hasn't already."

"Fine he wants a small percentage" he admitted slapping the table. "But it'll be worth it and it's not like we have a big crew it's just the two of us. Bringing in a third person won't break us you know plus we needed an insi-"

"No we didn't I had a plan and if you stayed patient like I told you to. This job would've been going down in a few more weeks without a hitch, but no now we have to be cautious, and share the profit." You seethed closing the folder and pushing it back to him.

"A few weeks isn't good enough for me y/n. I need the money now"

"That's why we were hitting the jewelr-"

Devin shook his head growling in frustration. "You don't get it I'm set to lose the house in a week. My parent's home or did you forget I was trying to buy it back from the bank. The owner and the bank finally reached a deal, so I have seven days to come up with two-hundred fifty thousand dollars, or I'm going to lose it."

The fight and anger left your body at his revelation his childhood home was his safe haven. He always told you that being in the house made him feel connected to his deceased folks. Now you knew why he had been so pushy on the endgame job.

"Devin why didn't you say something sooner?"

"Because I didn't want to rush this job anymore than you did. I thought I could convince the bank to give me more time. Heartless bastards" he muttered at the end.

"Fine make sure your boy isn't going to rat, and if you think he is just let me know. I'll handle it but I'm still going to need a day or two map out the entire plan, and deal with any holes alright. This has to be executed with perfection." You told him smiling as his eyes teared up.

Devin was afraid you were going to say no, or worse be done with him. He held his hand out for you to slap then bumped his fist to yours.

"I'll look over the pictures and get back to you in sometime tomorrow." You packed your bag and got up to leave.

"Wait what about tonight?" He asked

"Well we don't need to hit the jewelry store if we're doing this one so soon, and your girl got a date so just take it easy yeah. Take your friend out or somethin."

"So I can be tied down and whipped like you no thank you" Devin called out playfully watching you leave.

You gave him the middle finger over your shoulder as the door swung shut.

Three Hours Later

Riri insisted on taking you out for dinner no matter how much you protested. She couldn't secure another reservation at the same restaurant, but did manage to find one just as nice and more low-key meaning no reservations needed.

The two of you sat at a table outside on a deck with little lights strung along the clear roof. It took a few minutes but Riri broke the ice with a joke that had you in tears. After that it was if you and her weren't even at odds as the two of you talked about your day.

Once dinner was over Riri took over driving, and you let her without argument. Settling back in your seat watching the night stars pass by in a blur as she drove. About twenty minutes later the car came to a stop, and Riri was getting out.

You waited for her to come around and open your door. Knowing from past situations trying to open your own door whenever she was around was a no-no. Your car door was opened and you stepped outside into a empty parking lot surrounded by small garage-like buildings.

"Um babe where are we?" You asked looking around for any sign of life.

Riri pecked your lips with a smile. "Calm down ain't nobody trying to kidnap you. This is my spot you know where I work on all my super secret projects as you like to call them."

"Well you never let me see anything, and this is your first time bringing me here" You shot back.

"I know I know and I'm sorry but this place is like a safe space, and I don't really own it I fixed up this guy's car so he lets me work out of it. I don't want to lose it."

"I get it." It sucked not having a space of your own and having to rely, on people who could just take it all away with a snap of their fingers.

"Come on let's get inside" Riri said taking you by the land to lead you over to the garage. The car was parked in front of.

She let you walk in first coming right behind you hitting the lights. It was a more-than decent size workspace. On the left was a huge desk set up with desktop computers and papers spread out everywhere. A giant whiteboard with multiple blueprints was next to it. On the right side was her white motorbike, and not too faraway the shape of a car hiding up a forest green blanket.

"So this is where you're hiding out all the time?"

"Hey now don't do that I'm opening up to you here." Riri whined coming up behind you wrapping her arms around your waist, and placed her chin on your shoulder.

You leaned your head back to look into her warm brown eyes. She took the opportunity to pull you into a heated kiss. For a second you forgot why you were here as your lips moved in sync with hers. You turned around in her arms to lock your arms around her neck, pulling her closer. Her grip on your waist tightened as she tilted her head to deepened the kiss.

Your legs started moving on their own towards the work area until your back hit the desk. You whirled around lifting Riri up onto the desk, and your lips left her lips to trail down her neck.

"Ma I have dreamed of this moment every since I got this place, but we need to take a breather." Riri panted holding back a moan.

You pulled away in slight frustration. "Fine what is you want to show me so bad."

Riri hoped down from the desk and walked over to a drawer rummaging around in it. "Promise we can pick up where we left off if you still want to. After all this is over."

You frowned "Riri it can't be that bad can it?"

She turned around to face you with a remote in hand, and with a solemn expression. "Its not bad but it is a lot and I don't really know how you're going to react. Just know that ma I love you, and I want to keep you safe.

"Riri-" You tried to ask her what was going on, but then a loud whirring noise filled the air, drowning out your voice. Your gaze drifted up to see a small platform descending from the ceiling. You took a few steps back so you were standing next to Riri.

"I left a lot out when I told about Wakanda okay, but in my defense there is some stuff that went down. I really can't talk about without getting in serious trouble alright, but before I left I was working on a suit. It was coming along real good before it got destroyed." Her story came to a pause as the platform was done lowering to the ground. There was something on it but it was hidden by a black blanket.

Riri walked over to take a hold on it. "Having the Princess of Wakanda in your corner comes with a lot of perks, and I was able to get my hands on some pretty strong material. Its not vibranium but its the next best thing making rebuilding my suit a lot easier and even better. After it was done I started to take it out for a test run which kind of let to me saving some people."

"I don't understand" You murmured in confusion.

"Yeah I'ma just rip the bandaid off" Riri said yanking the blanket off to reveal. A purple-yellow metal suit with black on the front part. It modeled a Iron-man suit remake just made for a smaller person.

Your eyes widened in shock, and you leaned back on the desk behind for support. Your hands gripping it so tight your knuckles were turning white. Riri was talking again but her voice was just background noise at this point. As you tried to process the fact that your girlfriend was Ironheart.

Riri Williams was Ironheart. This shouldn't be a bad thing, you should be filling joy right now. She wasn't cheating or growing bored of you. She missed those dates because she was out saving people. There shouldn't be a problem with that, but there was.

Because this was last time you saw this suit was in action. When Ironheart faced off with you and Devin during a risky robbery just a few weeks ago. And the time before that when the hero just happened to be patrolling while you were scouting out the place. You always managed to escape your encounters with the hero.

But what were going to do now because there was no escaping the way you felt about her. Your big endgame job just a lot more complicated.

Taglist: @alistair-mooncrest @unsatisfiedanddisappointed @justariellove @greek-freak101 @mbakuetshurisprincess @deliciousfestsalad @zayswriting @tchhairbandhere @6-noir @rhayanm @letitias-fav @ajawasblog @izzyorzua24 @shinsousliya @ilacknames

[chimerapartyhouse]

Got to experiance the Pen's Marriage mod quest and HOLY WHAT THEY DID AN AMAZING JOB. It has inspired so much brainrot in me now that I can have my true pairing together again. The two together simultaneously make each other feral and calmer. So I'm dumping the shitposts I wrote here.

Ruber-Roseus says:

"Was told yer were beating up inmates constantly. Why they'd think letting yer near anyone was a good idea I don't know... (quietly) Good lad." 

"Oh look, I get to return the favour finally. We're now a couple who wears matching clothes. Congrats." 

"Gunna need two copies of yer book. One for yer to sign, the other ta bash yer nogging with." 

"Hate to break it to yer Honey, but the big not-bandit has the hots for me. Take from that info what yer want." 

"...Yes, I would love to sit on yer back as you do push ups. Missed you." 

"People in town refuse to talk to me cause of this mess. Thanks by the way."

(Pen trying to bite him in public) "Bad dog!" 

"I should 'ave asked Avery for a paycheck for this." 

"I'D THROW YA TO THE PERIPHERIES BUT THEN I'D FEEL BAD FOR EVERY LIVING THING THERE!" 

"That's it, hold my hand. I'm not letting go till yeh behave." 

"Grace is going to kill me if Logan doesn't first." 

"Get OFF ME. SomEONE here actually has a job that pays BILLS."

"Yes, you're hot. Yes, I love your muscles, looks, hair, jawline, voice. All your stuff. But please behave in public, you've traumatised Burgess more than enough already." 

"I would threaten to tie you up but I know that's not a threat to you." 

"Fine, instead I'll tie you up, have my fun, and leave you there." (Threat works.) 

"Been wanting to introduce you to my Ma but what would I even tell her now?!" 

"Let me sit on your lap and cuddle me, Kitten. Work was exhausting." 

"If you get us banned from the Blue Saloon one day I will never forgive you." 

"Honey, please get yer hand off me ass." 

Pen forgoing his usual tracksuit for more revealing clothing cause he's cover in certain kinds of bruises. 

(Pull out a stool, places it in front of Pen, stands on it.) "Now listen here ya little-" 

"You're lucky I love you so much, and that others hold me back, or else I'd be the one in prison." 

Finding Ruber passing out at stupid times from exhaustion turns from funny to sad real fast. Worse so when Pen learns why it keeps happening. 

"I can't even torture you in normal ways. I could threaten suffocation and you'd just go 'mh, yes please'."

"It is an actual miracle that no one has seriously tried to separate us. Maybe we mellow each other out enough that it's not worth it." 

"I wonder if it's possible to teach Rosy how to cook cause I'm scared of what you'll do to my precious kitchen if you use it." 

(Pen and Rosy getting envious of each other.) "Ladies, I love you both dearly."

Punishes Pen by slipping in really hot chilli pepper into his food. Not Duvos Pepper levels, but it does the job when he's done something seriously bad. 

"Something may have slipped out during a talk with Pablo. So sorry if the town acts weirder than usual soon." 

"For the last time, stop reading that damn book my Ma gave ya! I thought you didn't want kids anyway?!" 

"You can big-talk all you want, you've still never beaten me at whack-a-mole." 

"Sorry, being pretty is exhausting." (Collapses into Pen's arms.) 

"There are days where I wonder, 'what if?'. And then see your ass and immediately dismiss the idea." Pen: Do you mean me or my- (muffled squeak) "I mean your glorious globes." (Slapped his ass.) 

Ruber laying his head on Pen's chest. "You can say your heart is unbeating all you want. I can hear it calling for me." 

"If you make one more 'rabbit in heat' joke I'm sending you back to prison." 

"My Crystal, I promise I'm no longer interested in Justice. If it helps, I would have kicked your ass to the curb long ago if it were the case. You can also talk to Pablo too, that man will never stop interfering with my love life." 

"Snow Leopard, Pablo and Vivi agreed to help me make a new custom wardrobe for yer. It's your turn to be the dress up doll."

[kestreljaylover]

My Top 10 Favorite Warrior Cats.

Cinderpelt was the main source of entertainment and enthusiasm in book 2, and 3 and I love that! She would have made it higher is the authors (don't remember the name, and too lazy to look it up) didn't kill her off so soon. Twilight was so annoying, the entire book was terrible, and I was so sad when she died. And her disability was very terribly written. She broke her leg by a car, and she can't be a warrior anymore. I would discuss about it all day long, but I need to move on to #9.

I love our little fruit loop! I mainly love Tallstar's character because of his Super Edition. Tallstar's Revenge is my favorite Euper Edition of all of warrior cats. The characters in the book got stuff done for once. (I don't remember all of the super editions, it has been a long time since I read them). And his little relationship with Jake is super cute! I met someone at a library and she doesn't like Tallstar x Jake. She was a homophobic, and I hate homophobes. She just make me angry, so I never talked to her again. Anyway, I just thought the bowtie idea was cute, and I decided to put that in.

I really love frostpaw because I can relate to her issues, but I think she was like a reboot of Shadowsight. Which Shadowsight was fine, no problem with him. I think frostpaw is just a cute name in general. I have never drawn her before, so i had to some up with grays on the spot. Anyway the next one!

Now we got some of the best kitties in my eyes! Ravenpaw was my favorite characters in the books before someone else came along that will be in #1. But he was basically the start of the series besides Firestar. Think about it, he tells him what happened with the Tigerstar situation. Firestar would have never known if Ravenpaw didn't spill the truth. And I think him moving to the farm was probably the best thing that has happened to him. Barley is not my favorite, it is just that I wanted to draw them. Next one!

Honestly Lightleap is probably the best character in arc 8 because she is so entertaining and snarky. The best type of character. And she caused a lot of drama which I love. It sucks that she has not been there much in book 3 and 4 of A Starless Clan.

She was supposed to be #4, but I forgot I didn't do 5, so instead of thinking more, I just put her there. Briarlight is the only good cat in her family. Mille is very mental, Blossomfall is very bad, and is very.... dramatic? I don't know how to describe it. Graystripe who i don't know what is going on in his head, and Bumblestripe who obsessed with a girl who doesn't want him. Briarlight is the sweetest cat and her death in the fourth or fifth book in AVOS was very sad. I love her friendship with her best friend, Jayfeather. (Yes, best friend! Jayfeather is gay in my head! I don't care if he loved Half Moon). Briarlight is just great! Love her!

Don't really have a reason to put her up here. Maybe I am just obsessed with the name i gave her. I was gonna switch her and Briarlight out, but oh well. I mainly like first arc Bluestar not her super edition (I mean, who does like her super edition)? I just like calling her Queen of the double wide.

Here's Dovewing! My baby! I am happy to put her here on this list! I really don't understand why some people hate Dovewing. She is a great protagonist, and a good mom as well. And also I feel bad for her because she was forced to be with him (Bumblestripe) for a while because of peer pressure. But I am glad she made to choice to get out of the pain.

AAAHHH! SQUIRRELSTAR!!! SHE'S HERE! I have been waiting for 4 years for this. She is basically just like me. (Except the shortness! I am not short). I do what is right, but I don't need approval from anyone. Honestly her husband is a dickhead, so I am glad he stepped down. I wished he would have died though.

JAYFEATHER! HE IS MY FAVORITE KITTY EVER! Does anyone need to explain why he is some people's favorite? Well I do. I can relate to him because everyone is an idiot! The books make them really dumb sometimes, and points out Jay's blindness. And guess who points this out? Jayfeather! He is my favorite for that reason. He is grumpy, but has a valid reason for it. And I can't get myself started on his boyfriend. He is not that interesting, but seeing fanart of Jayfeather and Kestrelflight just makes a smile on my face. (Dusklight for example, go follow them! One of the remaining kestreljay fans, and their work is flawless)! Honestly the sunglasses idea was random. I love a video that someone posted on Christmas day, https://youtu.be/ijd4YaXCjIQ?si=QY8NmE_tV46Yk_8x anyway, that is it. I am tired. :(

[artangelaum]

Fritz’s story: the first mission

Scroll down to read

Everytime he ran, or turned around, he'd see destruction, but he wasn't worried about that. He was more worried for his own teammates. The administrator had given him and his team time to bond for 2 months before this mission....if he didn't do something, his team will die!

He rushes over to his injured Soldier, attempting to heal him, but before he could übercharge him, the RED sniper took him by surprise and headshotted the Soldier the instant the übercharge was about to be activated.

Fritz desperately tried to use his medigun, but it seemed to not work, Fritz was feeling the tension in the air, as he grabbed his medigun tank and rushed over to the BLU spy and Demo, Fritz was able to heal them and activated the übercharge. They were able to fight off the RED Demo and Engineer, but then the RED Pyro came over and destroyed the Medigun with their axe. Fritz was unable to save his teammates as Pyro's flamethrower got them.

Three of his teammates were down, he picked up the broken medigun and tank, rushed over to Engineer and Heavy, who then revealed to be the RED Spy and plunged his butterfly knife onto Engineer.

Five down, three remaining. Fritz had to find his Pyro, Scout, and Spy. He could feel that his team would face major losses, and the uneasy feeling of dread was creeping up on him. He didn't like it at all.

Fritz panted heavily as he looked around, trying to find someone, anyone!

He saw his scout teammate, Michael on the ground, bleeding on his right side, his legs were also injured by the nearby turret.

The BLU Pyro just destroyed it and went to help their spy teammate.

Fritz quickly got bandages out, ready to patch Michael up and get him back to the base.

But then a hand stopped him—Michael's hand. Fritz didn't understand. Why was he doing this?

"Michael...you're badly injured, please, we can get back. I'll patch you up-"

"Doc, it's no need. I think it's already too late for me." Michael's eyes were half-closed, his voice was raspy, like he was struggling to say it.

Fritz didn't want to believe it, trying to put on a tourniquet. His eyes were now focused on Michael's injuries rather than his expression. He knew what Michael was implying, but just the thought was making Fritz crumble.

"Doc, you don't have to do this. I know I won't make it. Y' know...I'm actually quite scared, but you being here helped it a bit. I've lost too much blood at this point, and I know our mission isn't done..."

Michael coughed blood, trying to hold Fritz's hand, looking into his eyes. "Fritz...just keep fighting...don't worry about me."

Fritz felt his eyes well up with tears, his hold tightened. It was time to say goodbye, wasn't it?

Fritz could feel the texture of metal at his hands, he looked down and saw Michael's dog tags. "Please, give one to my ma, and keep one for yourself. So you'd both know I'm there with you, even if I'll be gone..."

Fritz felt his vision getting blurry, holding Michael towards his chest and gripping the tags tightly.

"Michael, I...."

"Thanks, Fritz...keep moving forward, okay?"

The scout showed one last smile before his eyes had fully closed, body going limp.

Fritz was still. He knew right then that his friend was gone.

"I....I'll keep fighting, I promise..."

He gently puts Michael on the ground, ready to get up but then the voice of the adminstrator cut through.

"Your friends are all dead. Good luck."

Fritz immediately fell down onto his knees, his eyes wide with shock. He was unable to save anyone at all. Everyone died because of his incompetance. He could feel his vision began to blur, head spinning with thoughts. His breaths were getting heavy, hands gripping his coat tightly.

Once he was able to snap out of it....he saw all the RED team in front of him, all surrounding him with wicked smiles, knowing they had already won.

Fritz braced for them to kill him, but they just started laughing.

"Killin' you's too easy!" The RED Scout snickers. The RED spy blew smoke on his face, Fritz had coughed from it. He looked up again at the RED spy, but there Michael was.

"You can't even save one person."

Fritz's eyes widened more, face pale at the sheer impact of those words. Michael's once cheerful eyes looking at him with pure distain and mockery. He knew it was the RED spy, but it still terrified him.

Then he felt the sheer force of the RED Soldier and Heavy, one of them grabbing his face as they began punching his face and stomach, kicking at his leg. The "final blow" was Sniper's arrows, piercing through his shoulders, trying to keep him from moving.

Fritz felt like he was in pure agony, eyes in tears at the pain he experienced, the laughter of the RED team driving him crazy.

At that moment....he had felt the intense anger building up. Everything then went black.