#look just trust me here ok? it'll make sense on reading

[allthelittlecreepycrawlies]

Posting more old stuff. Finally gathered together enough of my brain to clean up the Petshop of Horror AU shorts and put them in a vaguely proper timeline order.

---

Nie Zonghui is fifteen the first time he enters the aviary and sees a boy watching his movements instead of a bird. 

It's thrilling. 

It's terrifying. 

He's been told all his life what an honor it is to even be considered a potential partner by Sang-er, but for it to actually happen- 

"Remember," his mother warns him gently. "You have to wait for him to pick you. Very bad things happen to those who try to jump ahead with him." 

He nods nervously, remembering how a man from one of the other great sects had "vanished" a year previously after attempting to force the issue, and even the man's own sect leader had written it off as a careless (stupid) mistake and informed the Nie sect there would not need to be any recompense. 

For a time, nothing else seems to change, other than the knowledge he is now in a different -unspoken- class of disciple.

Three months later, he is taking a break from his studies when a graceful hand snitches a slice of peach from his plate. 

That in itself is nothing new, as Sang-er has always been playful whether bird or boy, but the heat in a bright green stare when Nie Zonghui looks up makes his mouth go dry with a mix of nerves and anticipation. 

Sang-er smiles and offers him a hand up and he goes more than willingly, hoping he won't embarrass himself.

---

He's not sure how to feel the day that his perception of Sang-er changes. 

He's heard others talk about nervous anticipation, or hope, or even fear, but... 

"Talk to me, Jue-er," Sang-er murmurs, running long nails that feel like talons through his hair. 

It's a really pleasant feeling, though it doesn't disperse the discomfort in his stomach. 

"It feels like an obligation," Nie Mingjue mutters. 

The look that crosses Sang-er's face makes him feel like an asshole, but now that the words are coming out, he can't make them stop. "Bond a saber, lead the sect, fuck the resident good luck charm. All the requirements to be Nie-zongzhu laid out nice and neat."

The petting stops.

"You know, I only accepted three of the men who were Nie-zongzhu before you," Sang-er says, then quietly gets up and walks back to the aviary.

Oh.

Wow.

Now he feels like an even bigger asshole. 

Sang-er doesn't change back into a bird, but that doesn't lessen the feeling that he has ruined things between them. 

He knows it's on him to apologize, but he doesn't know how. 

In the end, it turns out not to matter much. Sang-er meets him in his new rooms two weeks after his father's funeral. 

"Remember. I chose you," Sang-er says as he sinks into Nie Mingjue's lap and nuzzles up under his chin. 

He won't forget.

---

One of the girls who worked with his mother loved telling outlandish stories of how cultivators would tame magical creatures to protect their sects. 

He had only ever listened with half an ear, dismissing most of them as pure fantasy. 

And then his new sect leader introduces him to the prettiest boy he's ever seen and tells him that is actually a bird. 

"Hm. Not to you, apparently," Nie Mingjue says, looking more amused than anything. 

"I- is that bad?" Meng Yao asks, suddenly fearful that he's failed some kind of secret test. 

One explanation later, he's still reeling a little bit. 

He has been warned that Sang-er might take a while to choose him, or won't choose him at all. But to even be considered an option is overwhelming. 

The stories all said that one had to be an exceptional cultivator to draw the interest of such a being, and he is... very much not that, especially not after being trapped in a bottleneck for the better part of a year. 

So when he returns to his room one evening and finds Sang-er waiting for him, all curled up with his chin resting on his knees, he can't help blurting out the question that has haunted him for weeks. 

"Why me?" 

Sang-er tilts his head, then unfolds himself gracefully and slips off the bed. "I don't see why it matters, but we can help each other. All power has to be refined before it can be used." 

It's an offer to crack open the bottleneck for him, Meng Yao realizes, and his chest and throat close up with painful knots of emotion. "Please. I'll give you anything you want," he begs involuntarily, the words escaping despite being sticky in his mouth.

Sang-er smothers a laugh with a gauzy sleeve, the sound making him shiver. "There's no need for that kind of dramatic proclamation, Yao-er. Just relax," he says, and then leans in to kiss him.

---

He is working the festival crowds, picking pockets and snitching snacks, when a rumble of excited awe goes up in the town's center square. 

"I can't believe they've allowed him out of the fortress," one woman murmurs to her companion. 

"How much do you think old man Chang paid to get them to have him bless the area?" he hears another man say. 

"If it means the crops survive this year, they can have the whole sect treasury as far as I'm concerned," his friend replies. 

Curious despite himself, Xue Yang slips through the very, very few gaps in the mass of people towards the center of all the attention. 

He's almost made it to the front of the crowd when he finds himself on his face in the dirt. 

He raises his head, intent on cursing out whoever tripped him- 

-and finds himself locking gazes with a pale-eyed boy sitting amongst the green and grey robes of a sect that isn't the Changs. 

The boy smiles and gives him a little wave. 

Xue Yang feels dizzy.

Unfortunately, the crowd shifts again, and he doesn't get the chance to see the stranger again before they leave.

---

The first time the pretty boy in green and gold silks that are far too revealing for Qinghe's weather smiles at him, all sweetness and sharp teeth, Lan Xichen feels dizzy. 

Having heard about Sang-er from Mingjue-xiong, he knows what it means that he is seeing a boy at all, but he never thought... he never considered... 

He was the heir, meant to marry and have children. 

Nie Mingjue outright laughs at him when he brings it up. "As if bedding Sang-er has ever stopped anyone else, even a Lan, from doing that." 

He's not sure what to think of that. It should be... indecent that anyone of his sect would have slept with someone, especially a yao, that they had no intention of wedding. 

He starts to wonder if maybe he's a little naive. 

There's a prickly little itch in the back of his brain that says maybe he should ask Sang-er more about it. 

That's... all he'll do... 

Surely.

—

It's… not. 

When, much later, Lan Xichen lies dazed with a pretty boy still curled up against his chest, he has a whole new perspective on things.

---

While Jiang Cheng has heard of Qinghe's strange pet almost all his life, most of the gossip being either jealousy from the Jin sect or denigration from the adults of his own, he doesn't actually meet Sang-er until almost a month after Wei Wuxian has returned from the Burial Mounds.

"Aren't you supposed to be lucky?" he asks, too bitter to remember at that moment that he should be seeing a bird and not a boy.

Sang-er tilts his head in an unnervingly birdlike manner and levels him with an unreadable stare. "Would you like to know how this would be going if I wasn't here?" he asks mildly. 

Jiang Cheng quickly shuts up and retreats to meet with the weaponsmiths.

It's another five days before Sang-er approaches him, alighting in front of him just before he can enter the tent where he sleeps. "My blessing is starting to wane. And you're going to need it for the next push your martial brother is planning." 

Jiang Cheng swallows hard. "Shouldn't you be going to him, then?" he asks, trying not to sound envious. 

Sang-er leans up on his toes and wraps slender arms around his neck, then kisses him lightly. "No." 

Oh. 

Okay. 

He is… very okay with this.

---

Wen Ruohan had only been the third son of the sect, no one important really, when he found himself among Sang-er's potentials.

The first one from outside of Qinghe Nie. The only one among his brothers and sisters.

His father had been smug; his siblings jealous.

Wen Ruohan himself had only been smitten.

Be it the possibility that a little of the pretty boy's luck had, quite literally, rubbed off on him, or a newfound desire to prove himself worthy, he had quickly surpassed his older brothers to steal away the position of sect heir.

But as his strength and standing grew, so too did his jealousy. The fact that Sang-er belonged to Qinghe Nie, that he had other mates, including the sect leaders…

It was hardly fair, was it? When Wen Ruohan could best them all?

And, for three generations, that jealousy quietly simmered. Even as he found himself eventually drawn in by Nie Haoran's irreverent, jovial attitude, found himself becoming friends with the fourth Nie-zongzhu he'd known in his lifetime, it remained under the surface.

Until it escaped.

It is only after Nie Haoran's death that he learns that his old friend and supposed rival was never one of Sang-er's chosen. That for all the clear fondness, they had only been a sect leader and a sect pet.

It's too late to fix things. Sang-er never requests to meet him again.

When the other sects foolishly decide to follow the Nie in standing against the inevitable, he immediately orders the capture of Qinghe's most valuable pet. But Sang-er proves to be surprisingly elusive for a creature of such fame and recognition, and every agent he sends inevitably winds up sentenced to the Fire Palace for failure… until they stop coming back at all, either due to cowardice or because Sang-er has taken note that he is being hunted.

And then, one night, he wakes from his bed in the Palace of the Scorching Sun to find Sang-er watching him from the sill of the open window. 

As a bird, not a boy. 

Incensed by the very clear rejection, he attacks the bird, not caring whether to capture or kill, and the bird retaliates with talons and wing edges as sharp as honed steel. 

Badly injured and mind in a storm, he does not react fast enough when the spy within his ranks (and one of Sang-er's current chosen), steps out of the shadows of the servants' entrance with a sword in hand.

---

He only ends up in Qinghe at all because their father sends him along with Yao-ge as "extra hands", which they both know just means getting rid of him for a while. 

At least Yao-ge is nice about it, sharing lunch with him on the way. 

"Should I go... somewhere?" he asks his brother nervously as they enter the gates. 

"Hm..." Yao-ge flags down a servant who seems to recognize him. "Would A-Yu be permitted to see the aviary?" 

"As long as Sang-er allows it, it's fine. Let's stop by the kitchens to get some fruit for the little ones." 

"Little ones?" Mo Xuanyu asks. 

"Some finches and nightjars found their way in over the last winter. Sang-er likes them well enough, so we never chased them out." 

—

There are not a bunch of little birds and one large bird in the aviary. 

There are a bunch of little birds and a boy his age whose pale-eyed gaze makes him feel like he's going to faint from his heart beating too fast. 

"U- um-" 

The servant who escorted him in makes a noise like trying to turn a laugh into a cough. "I'll let Zongzhu know a new candidate has arrived." 

Wait, what? 

He quickly turns around, but the door has already closed. 

Oh, he's in so much trouble, isn't he?

[deoidesign]

Hello! I just discovered your blog and I immediately became captivated by your webcomic, but I'm unsure where to read all of it. I know it's on Webtoons, but I can see it hasn't been updated for a while, and you still post about it.

Are your physical novels just prints of the webcomic? Are they a continuation? Is the story complete? Thanks in advance!

Hi there!

Glad you found me and are enjoying my comic!

It's only on webtoons, and the story is not complete yet! We're 2/3 of the way through right now. It's currently on hiatus, and it's scheduled to come back in about 2 months!

I'll explain why it's been so long if you're curious, but also for my followers who might also be wondering about it under the cut. Sorry, it's pretty much just me complaining haha

I took a month off I took 2 months to get the books printed I took a month to prepare my next comic and I took 2 months to write the rest of the series (I knew the character arcs I wanted, but not the time periods or mysteries!!!) I've been working on actual episodes since then

I had to take some time off because of some pretty extreme burnout due to the sheer amount of work it was to draw over 800 pages and write 6 complete stories in a year and a half... I was getting sick almost weekly due to the overwork, it was really really bad honestly. I was having to work 60+ hours every week just to keep up...

The nature of the comic itself is also difficult... Each of the arcs is a complete, self contained story which can be read (ideally) without context, and my arcs need to be about 10-13 episodes each... And since I have an exact number of episodes to work with, it's even harder.

It takes a ton of planning and a ton of refinement, and working week to week with no breaks I was forced to put out second or even first drafts, so I just wasn't happy with the work I was doing... And to do that for the rest of the series? I wouldn't be proud of the work I did.

Plus... To be entirely honest, webtoon has treated me quite badly IN MY OPINION... They deprioritized me before I launched (I had to beg for more promotion, I'm not exaggerating), they outright denied me the opportunity to even ask for a raise, I don't make any money on fast pass and they pay me less than my partner makes working at trader joes. My first editor left me completely hanging, my second editor (who I loved) was fired... And they told me I wouldn't get a third season before my first season even finished. So it was just repeatedly completely demoralizing.

I'm sorry it has taken so long, it'll have been 10 months by the time I come back. But I realized... I won't get promotion either way. I won't get more episodes either way. I won't get more money either way. So to finish everything, to make it feel good, to make it something I'm proud of, I chose to take longer to make it better.

I am fully aware I will lose a significant amount of my readership for this and it might genuinely affect my career moving forward. But it's what I had to do! So I'm sticking to my guns on it, and I'm confident long term it'll be worth it. It never could have been this good if I didn't take this much time.

[just-some-random-blogger]

You're Not Cute

Pedro Pascal x Reader

Summary: i saw a fucking tiktok of pedro reciting shakespeare and i will never forgive him for not letting me lie on his lap while he strokes my hair and recites said shakespeare to me. i thought you were a feminist pedrito?! i trusted you pepe. fuck you (me).

Word Count: 1k+

Warnings: gender neutral!reader, actor/actress!reader, reader has hair im sorry if ur bald T_T and whipped for pedro and reading this, established but not public relationship (shhh it'll make sense), pedro go to jail party, crack fic, fluff, typos, etc.

A/N: we all know pedro pascal watches his edits, but i wonder if he's ever... read fics of himself 💀💀💀💀 hi papi! if you're reading this first of all why second of all i love you the tiktok in question that has me at gunpoint tumblr. look at this gif. this is your man??? this is OUR man? fuck off. ALSO I HAVENT PROOFREAD THIS COS I GOT CHORES BYE Tagging: @pinksirensong @aralezinspace @sloanexx @amis-love-bugs @top1bbgloak @sunfairyy @djarinsstuff @mooniesyubi @pedropascalgirly @mmmmandoz

"Wooooweeee!"

My eyes dart from my reflection on the mirror to the grinning man who popped up from behind me. I turn to him just as he begins wiggling his brows. I make a face him as he narrows his eyes and snaps his fingers while trotting over to me, "looking good, mi amor," he rolls his tongue to mimic a purr and gestures like a cat, "RRRRRRRRRRR."

I roll my eyes at him as I chuckle, turning back to my reflection, "hands off Pedro."

He gasps in offence, raising his hands, "I haven't even touched you yet!"

I lean in to more clearly see the dark blue line I was drawing by my eyes, "ok then," I shrug, "sorry for assuming."

Pedro tilts his head and waves his hands, "apology accepted--" he moves forward until he was close enough to snake his arms around me, "--in form of touching you."

I huff at his shenanigans but do not fight him off. In fact, I lean into his back hug and rest my head against him as we both look at our reflections in the mirror. I motion to my face amidst my scrutiny, "is the eyeliner too much?"

"Nope," he kisses my temple then retorts rather seriously, "it's yas slay."

I make a face.

His serious expression only lasts two seconds before he explodes into laughter. I release a huff as I bring my hand to my face while he thoroughly enjoys his own stupidity. I release one airy chuckle before giving myself a final once over, deciding I looked well put together enough. He inhales deeply to catch his breath then sighs against me, "you smell soooo good."

"It's called a shower," I moved to elbow him off, "you should try it sometime."

I grunt as I struggle against him. I hiss when I feel his mouth on me, "PEDRO!"

He pulls back, all after managing to leave a wet bite on my neck.

Pedro recoils and raises his hands in defeat. I punch him on the chest before wiping his mark.

He sighs, "it's kinda hard to shower by yourself, ya know. I need some help. Also!" he points, "you're dirty now, you got a little," he motions to his neck, "dribble on you-"

"PEDRO PLEASE," I pinch my fingers together, "my interview is in like, ten minutes," I point at him and scold, "contain yourself. Stay in your room."

I begin to storm off and he watches, moaning like a baby, "you mean our ro-"

I feel him follow after me. I snap, "STAY IN YOUR ROOM!" halting in my tracks. I push him back as I grab the door knob. He gives me a puppy dog frown. I give him one last point before closing the door behind me on my way out, "stay here."

Alas. I was in the living room, with a laptop set up in front of me as I did my online interview. I was glad that my Pedrito followed my orders and stayed in the bedroom for the entire duration. Not long now before it ends.

I smile to the interviewers as they begin to wrap up our short segment. I, along with he two hosts from a live news channel, laugh at the closing remarks. Suddenly, I find myself looking out to my side when I see an incoming Pedro just about to pass by.

He was stretching as he walked. He looked like he managed a brief power nap.

Oh fucking shit, he's going to the bathroom. And he's going to pass behind me to get there.

"Now, do you want to invite your fans to watch your film?" the male host asks.

"Uhhh," I trial off, as I turn to my side, rather un-inconspicuously. Pedro was soooooooo close now.

I panic as I turn between my camera and my impeding doom, "uhhh."

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Aint no way he was about to pass behind me and expose us like this.

THINK! WHAT DO WE DO?!??!

If I say his name, they're going to know it's him, but if I don't they're going to ask who I'm talking to anyway, but if I ignore him, he's going to pass and reveal himself. FUCKKKKK-

And in the split second of panic, I burst out the secret fourth option, and quite possibly the worst one, "FUCK!"

Yeah. Everyone stops.

Cue, my string of panicked apologize, "shit, I'm- fuck, SORRY SORRY SORRY!"

I catch Pedro, just as he realized what he has just done, or what he was about to do, rather.

"Sorry," I cover my hands on my face, "Sorry I-"

The interviewers laugh at me as I recuperate.

I sigh, turning to my side, "it's- there's a ghost that lives in my house."

"Oh, wow, you live in a haunted house?" the female host chuckles, "how thrilling."

"Yeah," I turn back to my camera, "it's quite stressful."

The interviewers chuckle as I regain composure and wave at my camera, "anyway, the ghost in my house says go watch the film with your loved ones, with family, friends, and your house ghosts too. We all worked very hard on the film, and we hope you enjoy it as much as we enjoyed working on it."

"Right!" Pedro agrees off camera, making me tense in my seat. He adds rather weakly as we make quick eye contact, "right."

The male host laughs, "wow, your ghost is really excited about this film."

"The ghost is going to get evicted soon. I'm calling an exorcist." I force a smile.

Finally, we say our goodbyes and I immediately shut my computer before any other fiasco happens.

"Sorry!" Pedro says immediately once he drops to his knees next to me, "I had booger brain. I woke up from a nap."

I look down at his messy hair and remorseful face. He grabs onto my legs and continuously apologizes to me.

I roll my eyes at him and tilt his head up at me as I grab him by his dark hair, "apology with tears."

He pouts, "I'm really, really sorry, baby. My booger brain..."

I release my grip on him and he immediately sits down next to me and pulls me into him. He continuously apologizes and I lean into his touch, beginning to feel bad for how genuinely remorseful he was. Just a little. He's kinda cute when he's pathetic like this.

"Pedro it's fine," I say, turning to him, pecking his lips repeatedly, "nothing happened. The hosts played it off too, which was really nice of them."

I crawl onto his lap and embrace him. He sighs and embraces me back. I nuzzle my face into his neck and murmur, "weren't you going to the bathroom?"

"Hmm? No, I was going to make a sandwich."

I snort, "of course you were."

I pull my head back and we look at each other. Pedro rubs my back. An idea springs into mind. I smile deviously, "I have decided that your apology will be in a form of Shakespeare."

When I shift off him to lie on the sofa and prop my head on his thigh, he looks down at me with furrowed brows. He brings his hands to his chest, "is the genuineness of my remorse not sufficient enough for you?"

"No, Don John," I sigh, "hark to me. From the top. Much Ado About Nothing."

Pedro chuckles airily before gathering my hair and pulling it back so that he could comb through it with his fingers. He sighs, and I turn to him as he scrunches his face, "I don't fucking remember."

"Do the, 'I must be sad when I...' like, feel like it, or some shit."

Pedro throws his head back and laughs. He sucks in a sharp breath, "like," he says with his exaggerated LA accent, "I have to be sad when I feel like I need to be sad."

"Exactly! Do that part," I giggle.

He continues, "I also will totally not smile at your lame jokes," he purses his lips and makes a face.

"Wait, that's what that means?"

Pedro nods at me, "yeah that's what that means."

"I thought that meant, like, I'll cry when I want to and smile when I want to."

"Well," he caresses my cheek, "you're not too far off."

I wave my hands, "ok, ok, now do the rest, and do it properly this time."

He playfully growls at me, "well, it's kinda hard to do Shakespeare when this cute lil thing is distracting me."

"Do better then."

"I'd rather do you."

"Pedro."

"What? You started it!"

I roll my eyes make a zipper motion to my mouth.

Pedro clears his throat. He mumbles some lines to himself to jog his memory, "... sleep when I am drowsy and tend on no man’s business," he states in an exaggerated manner, "laugh when I am merry and claw no man in his humor."

I hold in a laugh as he raises his hands in dramatics.

"And then," Pedro calls, "Conrad says something but I can't remember what he says."

"Pedro!" I whine.

"What?! I can't recite something I forgot, now can I?" he replies, busying himself with brushing my hair again.

I cross my arms, "boomer."

"Yeah, but I'm your boomer," he says pinches my nose. I wrangle against his actions and sequentially sit up.

Before I could retaliate, a phone rings across the room. It takes a second for me to realize it was I that received a phone call. I go ahead and answer upon seeing it was from my manager.

"Hello?"

"What have you done?!"

I pull my head back at her tone, "uh... hello to you too. What do you-"

"Are you aware you have a mirror behind your sofa?" she says.

I make a face. What does that-

I freeze, expression dropping as I turn to Pedro and slowly then to the mirror behind my sofa. There's a mirror behind my sofa. I have a fucking mirror behind my sofa.

My manager hums at my silence, "so, you want to make a statement with the ghost in your house before people catch on, or-"

I sigh as my manager begins to run down the possible things we could do. Pedro looks at me in concern as I wipe my face in frustration.

"Yeah, okay, okay. Let me call back in a minute. Bye."

Once I hang up, Pedro shifts on his spot and raises his brows at me.

I purse my lips, "they could see you in the mirror, Pedro."

He knits his brows, "see me in the mirror?"

I raise my brows at him.

He tries to piece it together, "see me in the... OH."

"Yeah, oh. My manager already spoke to yours, and they want to know what we want to do before people start making memes about your ugly face in my fucking mirror."

Pedro gives a guilty look. He throws his arm on the backrest and drops his head on his shoulder, "I... could change my name on Instagram to 'Ghost'."

I roll my eyes, "not fucking helping, Pedro."

"NO! But I'm serious, I-"

[pbstarot]

𝙋𝙞𝙘𝙠 𝙖 𝙃𝙤𝙧𝙧𝙤𝙧 𝙈𝙤𝙫𝙞𝙚 𝙂𝙞𝙧𝙡 - 𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙁𝙖𝙡𝙨𝙚 𝘽𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙚𝙛𝙨 𝘿𝙤 𝙄 𝙃𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝘼𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙈𝙮𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛?

Hello! This is the PAC that was chosen by you, the reader, as my next PAC per the first ever PAC poll. Yay! This PAC is quite triggering though, so be mindful of its consumption. Also, I don't encourage multiple pile picking in my readings specifically, and in this one I encourage it even less -- but to each their own.

Disclaimer: Tarot does not replace any sort of advice from a trusted professional that went to college for 8+ years to be there. It also does not always get things right. The future changes all the time and a responsible tarot reader can only assure 80% of their readings will be correct at any given point in time. Remember to take what you look at and go “huh, that could be me,” and leave the rest. Be conscious about your tarot content consumption and drink lotsa agua, amigo(a)(x).

Group 1

Cards: Eight of Pentacles rx, Three of Swords, Page of Swords, Ten of Cups, Ten of Wands, Ace of Pentacles

I think you believe you are lazy. You believe you are not doing enough, you believe that your life is not going anywhere, you believe you do not have the capacity to work for the things you truly want. Pick whichever resonates most, of course, but the general gist is that you don't believe you have what it takes. Maybe in the past you did, for some of you, but now you believe you changed in the direction of not doing rather than doing.

This is a false belief reading, so, of course, this is false. It could be that your entire process is internal rather than external. It could be you are in survival mode, dealing with traumas. It could even be, for a small portion of you, that you have untreated ASD and ADHD, that you have executive dysfunction issues, that you were not born necessarily to fit into societal expectations without a very strict schedule and ruling, which you can't give to yourself that easily.

Whichever your situation may be, know you are not broken. For some, you're just sad, it'll pass. For others, you need to cut yourself some slack. You know you are not like other people, who can turn their subaru impreza brain on and off as they please, and you need to respect yourself in what you can achieve. Most of you are working hard for yourselves and are doing a lot of work. For some, your family might be the problem here or even friends, nudging you and nudging you to the point of madness. You could simply need a break from everything, even if you think you already don't do enough to warrant one. The truth is flowers don't bloom all year. That's just the way life is.

With the Three of Swords, you believe you are heartbroken or, alternatively, that you will always be heartbroken. There is a trend here of not thinking you are able to control your own life, which is false, but understandable depending on your living conditions, upbringing, people you surround yourself with or even traumas you may or may not have withstood in your life. Know this: You are in charge of yourself, you can change things. Life is not exactly like the internet says it is neither. It is not clean cut and easy. It is not always balanced. Like Patti Smith said, you never come to a point in which everything is OK, ever. You must accept this and take charge of your things anyway, flawed and imperfect and human today, instead of waiting for a perfect moment. There isn't one. Of course, this varies from person to person, so you need to do what you can, and, for the love of God, work with yourself as much as you can, as well. Try to get to know yourself.

For some, you should dump the future spouse readings, get to the ones about the self, make a tarot journal, find out what you truly believe spiritually, and not what other people say you should believe in, or that it's real.

With the Page of Swords, I believe you think you are simply a child. You are not good enough for anything. Maybe you are young, but I am sensing someone in their mid twenties that believes nothing has gone right and that you must be an idiot for wanting this or that. I'm sensing people who are the baby of the family or the ones who are always "the dumb ones" in their group of friends -- or the ones who are always laughed at. For the last one, I advise you ditch your friends. I will always advocate solitude over the company of terrible people, even if it's painful at the beginning. You'll find better people or better company in yourself. If you can't do something so drastic, limit your contact. For all, I believe you are not an idiot. For some, just gaslighted, limited and put down by people. For others, simply disconnected from one self. Once again, you need to go back to yourself, have yourself again, close to your own heart. This is easier said than done, so remember it might take months to years, always in stride, always remembering the imperfect is imperative in the human condition.

For the Ten of Cups, you might think a partner can rescue you for some. For others, you believe you see life through rose tinted glasses and that one day this illusion may as well shatter. You seem to be able to grasp at realism, however, to be sane when you truly wanna be. Your false belief could be the very card itself -- a fairy tale. This is harmful to an extent. Fairy tales do not exist. You might believe in reality shifting, and this is going to be triggering for some, but I don't believe in that and I advise caution in applying such beliefs. I will not tell you what to do, but I will say that it could do harm in this particular situation.

Considering this is a false beliefs reading, this card and part could mean several things for several people, but it is mainly reading to me as the aforementioned: You need to come down to Earth and remember that life is right here, not out there in outer realities.

For the Ten of Wands, I believe it is similar to the previous energy of thinking you will be burdened for life. For Ace of Pentacles, I believe you think people are gonna give things to you if you wait long enough. Maybe you were raised to not ask for much, to be subdued, to be silent. You need to work on this and start taking unabashedly, without a fear of being hated for it. You will be, by some. Sit with these feelings. Realize that, while people disagree with you or don't agree with much that you say, you continue breathing. Your anxiety might tell you something dreadful will happen to you if someone hates you, and yet you are well. This is a very specific message, but it's true. It will not matter and you will be stronger.

Rebel Deck Cards: "You need a big fucking hug. Squeeeezzzee." & "You are giving too many fucks. Give zero."

Private Readings here!

Group 2

Cards: Page of Cups rx, Six of Wands, Three of Cups rx, Moon, Chariot rx, Ace of Pentacles

I believe some of you think you are idiots in love. That love is not good, that love is what ruined you, that you are never smart when it comes to it. That is not necessarily true. For some, you are the ones who ruined yourselves, and your need for love runs deeper than you believe. It is not necessarily romantic, there is something else missing. For others, you were not in control of the situation and you keep blaming yourself thinking you are an idiot and that this will always happen because there is something fundamentally wrong with you, and not with the people who were involved. This is a false beliefs reading, so you know the drill. You are not responsible for what happened to you at all. You are yourself, whole. You do not need to let others define you. You'll be fine in time, just give a lot of love to yourself, whatever that looks like to you, and know you will be well. You will.

For the Six of Wands, it could be you have an ego, but I think you do have more of a superiority complex sometimes. You think you are an asshole too. This card contains a lot of different messages for a lot of different people, so bear with me. You might think you are too high and mighty all the time and that people hate you for that, for the way you portray yourself. For some, you have been told people think you are better than them and that was not good because you truly believe you are to blame for this (you are not, they are projecting on you).

For others, you were high and mighty, maybe popular in school or someplace else, and you wanna hold tightly to that, because you believe this is the only thing about you that is worthwhile (it is not. I know it takes guts to wish to be an absolute nobody, but there is freedom in it as well). Be quiet instead of loud for a while and see what you can gain from that.

For the Three of Cups reverse, you might believe people hate you. Social anxiety is a figure here, but it could be, like on the other card, that you are a being of notoriety and light, that you do exercise some natural power, or that you have learned things about yourself, therefore making yourself grander in the process. You are almost ashamed of that. It could be that this puts people off of you, or that you don't think people can relate to you on a personal level because of it.

It is a false belief because you should never be ashamed to be better or different. You should be glad. You worked for this. You worked for yourself and to yourself, while others, sometimes, are not as capable of facing the mirror. You should take solitude in stride. You don't need to throw yourself into other people to have a grasp of yourself. It can be hard, but you are better for this. When you do go out with people, try to respect them for who they are. Listen to them, observe their behavior, where they are in life, and don't try to change them to fit into you. You are not someone to be fitted into, you are as unique as them.

The Moon card is here because you believe you are not seeing things clearly, that you must be insane to think the things you do, to have the worldview you have. You are not, of course. We all have different views of the world and you have that which fits you and your life better. If others don't share it, it is because it doesn't fit their life or doesn't help them in their own things. You must find like-minded people (by sharing yourself, no matter how frightening, in however small or big way you can) and by remembering you are not insane. There are all sorts of people out there, who believe all sorts of things, and you are not alone. (For some reason I feel compelled to ask if any of you have watched Wendigoon on YouTube. He makes videos about mysterious things that happened, leaning on the paranormal and the mystical. He has a huge conspiracy theory iceberg, true, but in my opinion it's in videos like the Appalachian mountain lights that he shines. His and his girlfriend's way of seeing the world might resonate with some of you).

Chariot reversed makes me, once again, believe you think you'll never meet people like you or that you'll be alone forever. I said before that I will always encourage solitude than the company of terrible people, but maybe this is too harsh a belief here. Think of people as interesting. People-watch. Fall in love with the ones around you, learn about them. You might learn about yourself as well, but more than that, you might find your tribe by doing this. You'll be able to realize a lot of people's beliefs are very much about themselves.

Ace of Pentacles makes me believe you think you need material possessions to be happy. I understand this (Taurus sun, second house for those who are into astrology), but I also believe there is a need to blend needs here. One side is material and the other is metaphysical. Some of you might believe you need money to feel secure, because emotionally you feel bare. Feed one and then the other equally. You'll be fine if you are able to meet both in the middle.

(Sorry if this pile is all over the place, there were a lot of messages in this one).

Rebel Deck Cards: "Drop the fucking ego. Vulnerability is hot as fuck." & "They broke your heart. Fuck them."

Private Readings here!

Group 3

Cards: Hanged Man, Hierophant, Sun, Six of Pentacles rx, Four of Cups, Four of Swords.

This is a weird reading, straight out of the bat. You might be a weird person, which is great, welcome aboard. Your first three cards are all majors, which, for false beliefs about yourself, it's almost as if you are pretty delusional. This reading might be triggering for some, but all groups were, to an extent.

For the Hanged Man, I think you believe you must be in stagnation for things to come to you. You might believe in old style manifestation, you put the intention out, you believe in it, and it's yours. That is not necessarily a lie or anything, but you need to put in some work. For others, you might be enlightened about something, but you do nothing with it. Your false belief about yourself might be you are good only on your own. You don't need anyone else, cause no one is on your level -- different from group 2, because group 2 longed for connection. You don't want it, you think you are above it.

I'm sorry to say this, group 3, but based on the cards, it seems you are not all that. You are not as good as you think you are, at least not yet. And you might believe you are some kind of God, but you are only a person -- and you need to be a person. This is what you sent here for. We need to live as human beings, flesh and blood, instead of wanting to be simply spiritual beings of pure light, because we are not on that level yet (or, rather, we will all be someday, when we die).

With the Hierophant, you think you're traditional, but you are not. This is mainly for people who were raised in strict families. I am sensing someone quite young here, maybe someone who follows the beliefs blindly. I'm here to say you are not necessarily these beliefs -- you are someone who contains multitudes and, as you age, you'll realize you were traditional simply to not go against the grain, to not rock the boat. You are doing it to please others, perhaps, and it is not you, at least not your authentic self. Maybe some of you truly are people who haven't had the time to completely form themselves yet (I sense some eighteen year olds), and therefore have a lot to discover. To this group I say to try to keep an open mind, try to throw yourself into the world more, try not to be too ruthless and strict to others. You don't know their lives and what they went through, only yours and your family/church's.

With the Sun, you think you need to bring joy everywhere you go. I sense a toxic positivity streak here. Could be you believe that you must be happy all the time to receive the things you want and that you think you should always sport a smile, lest the universe should notice you're down and smite you. You are not this bundle of joy and you deserve to have your other feelings heard. Maybe you can't. Maybe you need to play this part or maybe you have spiritual anxiety or OCD, but remember these beliefs you have are false. You are a person. You are going to get the things you and and the things you need regardless of your state of mind. People just get things. The universe is a little more random and chaotic that people give it credit for. I'm not saying you shouldn't express gratitude, but even if that is not possible, it should not really hinder you in the way most people say it will. Life happens in spite of us. The Sun will start shining every day whether you wake to see it or not. Revel in this. Give yourself a break. Exercise respecting your other, darker, not useful feelings and remember they have their meaning too, and their place. You need to slow down, take deep breaths (if you can't be in nature), and observe your emotional condition. Sit with it, all of the confusion, and feel it. Let it go or stay however it needs to feel validated and don't rush it away because you want to become useful again.

With the Six of Pentacles reversed, some of you might believe you do not have anything to give. A stark contrast with the first message, but it's coming to me regardless. It could be that you think you're not good enough to give back to the poor and the wounded, so you are less than you wish. This is false because you should not save the world on your own. You don't have to give to people to be worthwhile. You are deserving of love no matter what, and a relationship based on how much you give will always be unhealthy, because people will take everything away from you.

With the Four of Cups, you believe you are seeing everything that there is to see in life, that you know it all, that there is very little hidden from you. That you have an almighty eye in your head. To some, you could be guided by the universe, truly, and have a spiritual attunement. That doesn't mean you know everything. To others, you should look around. No one knows everything and each corner is filled with mysteries. Life is gonna take you by surprise and when it does, you might end like a worse version of group 1 if you don't realize that it is normal to be taken for a fool by destiny -- it is imminent and it will happen to all of us. This too is a lesson.

Four of Swords here indicates you took a break from learning. There is a streak of youthful arrogance in this group. You shouldn't lay down your swords, or close your eyes just yet. You are not going to die any time soon, hopefully, and until you do, you'll probably still be learning a thing or two about life. You are not the end all be all. You are not God. You don't know any more about the world than someone else who has a different experience, a different outlook from you. Pay attention to them, honor them.

This pile reads to me as someone who will learn a lot about life still. If you feel offended by it in anyway, I am sorry. You will be fine, obviously, and will be better off when things that you never expected happen to you. Remember that this is not an irreversible situation. You might come off as high and mighty now, but there is a lot to learn and see. It will happen to you, likely, very naturally in the course of the next, maybe four to seven years.

Rebel Deck Cards: "Make better fucking choices. If you are pissed at where you are then stop taking yourself there." & "Love. Get some, give some. It will cheer your ass up.

Private Readings here!

[feastingonfanfiction]

Waiting on the red string of fate

Alt route ending 2 [chapter 3c]

Tanya Denali x fem!reader

Chapter 3c: Sprouting roots, into hearts, arguments, and it's all torn apart

Summary: You have to just let all this bottled up pain out, but some things take a turn for the worst

IMPORTANT NOTE:ending 3C is essentially just an alt ending to the events in 3B, so I started it at the point where Tanya learns that she is infact the cause of the hanahaki, Read 3B (probably the happiest ending) before 3C(the alt angst route) I guess or not(i cant control what you read), but it won't make much sense at the start off point.

A/N: Welcome back. If you've read the other servings of this particular fanfiction i write, this one will be sort of shorter considering I started at a midpoint within 3b. Am I fully satisfied with the end? Nope! But dwelling on it too much will just tear me apart

Anyways, here is your serving of sad.

Bon Appétit and Happy readings!

Check out other parts on the:

Masterlist menu

Or

Part 3b (the actual happy ending)

WARNINGS: THIS IS NOT A HAPPY ENDING, I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A HAPPY ENDING. The usual warnings hanahaki has its own set of warnings(choking on flowers petals, blood etc) character death is here, maybe some gruesome, not quite gorey but not pleasant descriptions

She? Was the cause of your hanahaki? Tanya didn't want to believe it. She was the cause of your pain...

You have to understand she loves you

And she's not saying that just because she knows hanahaki goes away with reciprocated love.

Her face shows hurt to think you could think that. She moves to declare that she does, in fact, love you

But all you can do is laugh at that, not even looking at her, "You love me? You love me?" A chuckle escapes

"Oh, that's rich coming from you, but ok, say I entertain the idea that you actually have feelings for me? What do you expect from me? Hmm? Cause you've already shattered my rose tinted glasses on the idea of love even before we met and I dont know if I can ever really believe you" you say at the absurd idea of giving your heart away fully, believing now that it'll be torn apart if given.

"And - and what about the guy you were with, what about him? What was he to you?"

"He meant nothing to me, he means nothing to me, even now, I-" she tries to say, but you cut her off

"I SAW YOU, I WAS THERE! IT DIDN'T LOOK LIKE NOTHING AND..."

you try to scream, it came out more hoarse than you intended. Part of you just wanted all of this to go away, the other part could feel the waves of sorrow and sensations of betrayal flaring up from the memory of the first time you saw her, your head was spinning as your emotions took over, some parts irrational jealousy some parts despair. The hurt in your chest felt like a jab of pain that you assume was just your emotions.

"...and I can't trust your words." it comes out as a mere whisper, but Tanya heard it, and she could feel her unbeating heartbreaking at it...

"So what was he? If he meant "nothing" to you, does that mean I'll mean nothing to you, too? Heck, you could still be lying to me -"

"BUT IM NOT," she tries to defend herself. She's not lying, but you clearly don't trust her, and she's not sure what she can say to fix this.

"And how do I know that, for all I know you could still be with him" "but-" "NO LET ME SAY WHAT I HAVE TO SAY" you yell at her interruption, rage was building as you gave in to you emotions.

Tanya silences at that thinking maybe you just need to let it all out.

"Am I just a rebound to you? Or some kind of conquest? Heck, you're probably here just to play with my emotions....get to know me, make me love you only to turn around and stomp on my heart again"

"NO! Please listen I-" she intejects abruptly there's no way she can let you think that but you won't have it.

"I don't have to listen to ANYTHING you have to say! I don't even know you! I don't get why you even came here! You don't have to pretend to want to be here, I know your game, so just give up and just leave me alone!"

Tanya tries to figure out what she can say to make you know she's not like that, she does want you, but in her state of contemplation of what to say she misses out on what sounds like some-thing growing inside you and what sounds like something breaking.

Your chest was hurting, like there was something digging into your sternum.

Your head spinning as you gripped your chest as then you feel a jab of pain in your heart. You panic, scared of what it could be, maybe it was just another coughing fit coming along, if it was you didn't want her here to pity...or mock you.

"Just- just get out, leave me alone... you did it for all of my life. I don't see why you should be around for what's left of it," you say weakly.

Those words definitely hurt. Tanya doesn't know what to say besides wanting to just say no, she can't find the words that'll plead her case to you, but then you rush past her not giving her the chance as you stumble quickly into a room and slamming the door shut, locking it.

She turns to look at where you went, hesitant to follow, but deciding to follow and stand outside, she can hear your accelerated heartbeat....the conversation must've added a lot of stress...

You feel flowers growing again when you decided you had to get to the bathroom, your heartbeat way too fast. You didn't know the hanahaki was getting so much worse throughout that conversation...

You didn't know something had happened inside you, how would you have known? you couldn't see inside yourself. You wouldn't have known the roots of the hanahaki had taken a detour going just slightly left. Some had wrapped around your lungs, but where these roots were headed? They had pierced and dug into your sternum and ribs and then slowly found their way to wrap around your heart, squeezing it. Crushing it.

All you could feel in your chest was pain. The edges of your vision was blurring as you tried to get yourself to throw up to stop the pain. Your heart hurt, everything hut as you tried and choked on petals, blood pooling in your mouth,then finally the darkness calls for you as all of it stops as it takes you.

Tanya can't help but fight against breaking down the door versus giving you space. She can't help but worry at your alarming heart rate. Your coughing and breathing is also getting worse, but what makes her want to break off the handle and bust open the door is the sound of something that sounds like breaking and something growing that sounds like it's piercing flesh.

She fights it until something happens, and she suddenly can't take it anymore as she breaks down the door.

What finally made her snap was the fact that everything suddenly stopped, your heart beat, the coughing, everything, and then a thump on the other side.

So here Tanya was, covered in woodchips in a broken doorway to a bathroom. The lighting dim as she sees you there having fallen curled up on your side on the floor littered with bloody petals. Panic grips her as she sees the blood leaking from your mouth and the small pool of blood collecting underneath you. She lifts you into her arms. Your eyes were barely open, but what essence of spirit that lived within those eyes were gone.

Tanya was full-on panicking now. You couldn't die, not now, not before she could clear up this whole misunderstanding. Your body was still warm, but your heart had stopped. Maybe it wasn't too late she hoped as she pulled you close, whispering an apology, and sunk her teeth into your neck. One side then the other, hoping with enough venom it could bring you back. It's got to, she only just found you, you can't leave her yet, not before she has the chance to know you.

She lifts your body out of the bathroom, hopeful that it'll work and brings you to what she thinks is your room.

She's very concerned at the lack of heartbeat, more fearful that it won't work.

She places you on the bed, very worried at the blood that seeped onto her when she carried you. It was all over her arms. She then notices your chest, where your shirt was covering it was stained crimson with blood seeping and spreading pooling into a larger point.

Fear takes her as she hopes if you do wake up that you don't mind, but she slowly unbuttons your shirt to reveal your chest, and directly where the pooling stain on your chest was, there plant roots were sprouting out.

She didnt know how to react, there the hanahaki roots were digging through you, she looks a little to your left, just the area above where your heart should be and there roots also sprouted outwards like plants breaking through the winter snow but here the routes where sprouting out of your paling skin covered in blood.

What does this mean? Was there so much internal damage that the venom might not take hold? Were you.....she dare not say it, but she had to wonder was it too late? Should she have broken the door down when she had the chance?

She couldn't stop the what ifs, she had to know something. Your heart didn't restart, and you weren't breathing, and the roots were protruding from your skin like worms breaking out of the earth.

She then considers calling Carlisle. Perhaps he can help her? Pulling out her cellphone, she calls, wondering where they might be, and surprisingly, they're not too far a drive from where you are. Explaining the situation, Carlisle was kind enough to lend his assistance to see if there's any possibility that you could be saved.

Tanya gently changes you out of your clothes and into something not bloodstained, wrapping a blanket around you and then picking you up bridal style she then makes for the car, driving off in a rush probably breaking the speed limit, she does not care. She has to know if you'll come back to her.

Arriving at the hospital, Carlisle meets her part way outside, taking you from Tanya's arms they move quickly, wanting this to be done under secrecy.

He does a chest x-ray, whilst Tanya waits for this agony to end.

Eventually placed in an unused room, she waits there holding your hand, hoping she wasn't too late

Carlisle comes back eventually with the results of the chest Xray, placing them up on a box along a wall that lights up the image better. What Tanya sees scares her.

There was your ribcage, your heart, your lungs.

But the roots, the roots, and stems were prominently entwined between the spaces of your ribcage. Your sternum was fractured from the roots digging into multiple places. Your lungs were completely wrapped around by the roots and your heart.....your heart was fully wrapped by the roots in a crushing manner

Squeezed in the middle, as well as areas along your heart that seemed to display what happened to your chest, roots bursting out from your heart....

Carlisle looks over to Tanya with pity, "I'm not certain but with the extent of damage I don't think.....I'm sorry Tanya but I don't think that the venom will be able to save her...."

If Tanya could cry, she would have done so long ago, she wished she could, but all she felt was the vampire venom pooling in her eyes.

Tanya takes you back home after that, back to your home. Placing you on the bed, she stays by your side, uncertain what to do now....you might likely be truly gone....

Part of her wants to hope that she wasn't too late, but the X-ray was some damning evidence. Giving it one last shot, she decides to wait for the supposed day you would've woken up if you are turned, she can't lose hope, she just can't...

Leaving you in your room, she goes about cleaning your slightly dusty home, cleaning up the bathroom, and the door she broke. She basks in the feeling that this home was yours. Eventually, she stumbles across the shoe box, your soulmate letters still inside with the last one you wrote on top.

Going from the state of the letters, she reads through them to learn about who you were, wanting to cry at the type of person she accidentally hurt. She felt a little worse at the letter you wrote about the night you saw her, something clearly broke in you that day. Within the next letter, though, it was like something changed, and you accepted your fate, thinking she would never come find you.

By the final letter, it didn't seem like you hated her. It felt more like you were giving up and accepting the hanahaki...

She felt hopeful at the tone of the letter, hopeful maybe that you would wake up and it'll all be OK. You would wake up, and you two would be able to work through this.

The final day of when you were supposed to awake arrived, and she waited 24 hours

But once that time passed, something in her dimmed, she then waited a little more... you can't be gone, but still as time passed more parts of her hope broke off as part of her broke too, as your beautiful eyes she only looked into the first time a few days before would not open and look at her, and then finally the last embers of hope smothered out.

You were truly gone...

You were gone, and she was left alone deemed by the fates to live this life alone.

[ableedingheartdove]

I love the update to flatlands🫶🫶 You cannot imagine how good it felt to read your Jon snow, the shivers!! Please do not change him and I have faith in you that atleast his decisions would make sense.

Also the longing jon has for his lady😭....ughh please let them reunite soon?

Ok only one question when will they reunite?

Oh my god the most important one will he go beyond the wall for stupid hunt?

Anyways happy writing to you and me for one is eagerly waiting for the updates.♥️

Ohk can I say I look forward to your Jon pov more than Sansa? Hey not because you don't write Sansa well but mainly because in fanfiction very rarely I read fics who grasps and understand Jon snow essence 🤌 and you do it 😉

Thank you so so much for reaching out to me! It was absolutely lovely to read your message.

It melts my heart that you like my take on Jon and that you trust me to handle him wisely lol. I promise I'll try my very best!!!

And yes, the longing is real here haha what can I say? I do love some angst, I can't deny it. About a reunion however... can't promise it'll be soon nor can I reveal when it will happen, but hopefully the wait will be worth it haha

Regarding the wight hunt: I would NEVER. Like, it just made absolutely no sense and I promise it won't happen.

Thank you so so much for your ask!It warms my heart that you are looking forward to my updates, hope to hear from you on the next (soon to come) chapter!!!

And thank you from the bottom of my heart on your compliments to my Jon pov. I just really love his character from the bottom of my heart and it is actually so enjoyable to write him, so it makes me really glad that you think I truly understand him and also enjoy my take on him!

[atwowbrainrot-sorrynotsorry]

Hold Me While you Wait Chapter 3 [Spider/gender neutral Reader] +Spider/Kiri

Secrets are revealed as Spider has some heavy thoughts to get off his conscience.

TW: Mega angst, Implied suicide ideation, Ardmore's mind-reading torture machine. Hugging. A lot of swearing. Probably an "M" rating for this chapter.

Spider led you out of the human's area and to the yawning mouth of the cave which split the camp in two. It was quiet at this time of night and the moss on the cave walls glowed like a galaxy of stars. Ikrans slept in clusters in the crags and ledges of the cave walls.

"C'mon, keep up." Spider called.

"There are sharp rocks. My feet hurt." You'd rarely gone without shoes in the outdoors before you'd lost your shoes on a beach thousands of km away.

Spider sat on the very edge of the chasm, his legs dangling towards the ground hundreds of metres down. You sat beside him.

"Colonel Quaritch is still alive."He said solemnly. "I saved him from drowning. I saved the man who wants to kill my everyone I love." He looked over for your reaction.

"But why? That makes no sense."

"Maybe so, but you didn't know him like I did. He didn't just possess the memories of my dad. Miles Quaritch was...give me a second. It's complicated. He cared about me. He *saw* me. He made me laugh. And I... I'm not a killer. You should have seen how desperate he looked in that water. In the past year I've seen more cruelty from the hands of the sky people than in the previous 15 years combined. I refuse to be like that. I won't let Neytiri be right about me. I'm not a traitor, but I can't watch someone dying preventably and not help."

You wondered what Neytiri had to do with this, but spider continued with the flood of his confession.

"Of course, She'll kill me anyway if she ever finds out it was me who saved him. I wonder where Quaritch is now, if he's hiding in the forest, plotting and biding his time? Is he killing Jake right now and we won't learn until tomorrow? Have I damned us all?" Spider was panting, his voice breaking in grief. He stared over the edge of the cave. He stared into that midnight abyss a little too hard. "It's okay to cry." You said. "I'm honoured you trusted me with that information first, but you need to tell Norm. You don't have to say it was you who saved him." You gripped Spider's shoulders. "Let's get you a little further from this ledge, you're making me nervous." Spider scooted back a bit and put his knees to his chest and sobbed. "All I do is get in the way and mess things up."

"Buddy, I'm in no fucking shape to be your therapist, but I get why you did what you did. And since we can't do anything about Quaritch from all the way over here, maybe it'll help to theorize what he is planning. All that time with the recoms, you must have some idea what he was planning. And I spent a year on boats in the reef where you lost him. Where was the last place you saw him?" You asked.

Spider took a deep breath. "I don't know. It was rocky. The shore was rocky. It was fairly close to where the boat sank."

You thought back on your shipwreck experience. "Ok, that does not narrow it down a bunch, but when I was floating in the ocean, I didn't see any survivors. Granted, It was dark. But when I got to shore it wasn't rocky, there were trees, so let's assume he went in the opposite direction from me. How well does Quaritch traverse the terrain?"

"Fairly well, for a sky person." Spider gave a half hearted smile. "He has an Ikran."

"Really? That changes things. Do you remember the marine biologist, Dr. Ian Garvin? Well he had a house boat of sorts, a portable lab. I'd imagine it would be quite easy to find from the air. And it'd have a radio, and rations, and probably spear guns or something. If Quaritch found that, he could contact the RDA and get reinforcements." You theorized.

"You're not helping me feel much better about the situation." Spider groaned.

"Or perhaps, an airlift back to Bridgehead?"

"No" Spider theorized. "The Colonel wouldn't give up quite that fast. I'd bet General Ardmore would have his ass if she knew he let Jake Sully get that close and slip through his fingers again. I think Quaritch would rather not let them know he failed again."

"You're pretty smart you know that?" You told him.

"Think so?"

The two of you settled that it was likely a stalemate and that Jake could handle his own. You sat in silence for a bit, enjoying the glowing night.

"Is that all you want to tell me." You finally asked.

"Sure, I could go on, but if I don't stop now, I'll never stop talking, I'll just keep finding other memories to be upset about." Spider moved to stand up but you grabbed his hand to pull him back down.

"It sounds like you've been holding a lot inside. Am I right to think there's been too much shit going on, nonstop, for you to process your emotions?" You asked resigning yourself to playing therapist.

"Yeah."

"Well, there's nobody else here right now, and nothing else to get done. Tell me one more thing that weighs on your mind. How exactly were you separated from the Sully's and taken by the RDA anyway?"

Spider recounted the story of how the Sully kids had seen some military strangers with Na'vi bodies scoping out an abandoned lab trailer, how they were caught, but saved by Jake and Neytiri just in time, but they did not save Spider. "I don't blame Neytiri for that." Spider added.

He told you how Colonel Quaritch recognized him, and how He recognized Quaritch despite his new, blue appearance. "It's really messed up, demonic technology to bottle a soul and bring it back in a new body. He didn't even get peace in death."

They'd hauled Spider off to Bridgehead where he'd been uncooperative and refused to give them any information. "This bitch of a General strapped me into a machine and it had these panels that spin around my whole body. It was unholy bright and then it felt like my brain was being pulled in two by magnets. Worst headache of my life. Memories were being drawn forth that I did not think to think about. The General was still yelling at me, but I couldn't really understand her over the pain and the whirl of the machine."

"I realized they could see my memories and were searching for clues to where Jake had gone. It was so violating. I couldn't allow them to get anything out of me. If they could see my thoughts, then I couldn't allow myself to think anything useful. I used all my strength to think about Kiri's hands. I pictured every line, curve and freckle, mapping them out in my mind, and when Ardmore tried to steer my thoughts away, I doubled down. I moved on to Kiri's hair. I couldn't even let Ardmore see her face unless recognizing her was somehow useful. So I pictured myself rebraiding her queue. My imagination went tunnel vision on the back of her head. My head still hurt, but Kiri was the only image both powerful enough to think about forever, and neutral enough to be useless to the RDA. I don't know how long the mind-rape went on for but it stopped abruptly. Then I was taken to room with just a table, so Quaritch could try to "good cop" the information out of me."

Spider finished talking and looked your way with distant, unfocused eyes like he was still seeing that machine at Bridgehead, and not you or anything else at High Camp.

"Damn buddy, I'm sorry. Do you need a hug?" You asked, spreading your arms. Spider reached for you, with equal amounts eagerness and caution. You hauled the larger boy into your lap. He rested his head on your shoulder, still crying. You could feel the warm brush of his breath on your neck, his hair tickling your cheek. The two of you sat like that in silence until his breathing evened out.

"C'mon man. Let's go back to the sleeping area. My legs are falling asleep." You said, patting his back. Through the cave entrance dawn shown its pink light.

"Okay, and thanks." he said.

"Anytime."

Back in the oasis of Earth atmosphere, you took off your exopack with a yawn, and you and Spider crept silently through the maze of hammocks and bunk beds. You climbed in your hammock and adjusted your life vest under your head. It had found new purpose as a pillow.

Once again, just as you were drifting to dreamland, you were awakened. "Get up, Kiddos!" Avatar Norm yelled, slapping both you and Spider on the shoulder. It was meant fondly, probably, but his hand was bigger than your face. "Y/N, I have a few people from the engineering and mechanics team for you to meet."

Oh, right. You thought once again about how you'd decided you'd actually like to learn Na'vi weapons making, but now didn't seem like the time to mention it, as Norm stood expectantly.

Thanks for waiting all week for the update, this chapter was difficult to write, due to the heavy subject matter. At one point, I felt dread at the thought of writing. I'll have a more light hearted chapter up next.

Here's the link to the entire work on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/45911749/chapters/115558099

[adolins-heart]

Hope you don't mind but imma tack on some of the stuff we talked abt in my creative writing class that kinda addressed this stuff!!

What I feel like has happened is that complex skills developed in writing have been boiled down to bare bones and as such been stripped of the nuance necessary for the advice to actually be useful!

"keep descriptions short and don't use flowery language" more often than not the better application of this thought process is to consider how the flowery language changes the tone of the story youre telling, and if it accomplishes the goal you wish to accomplish! If you're telling a story from the POV of a no-nonsense character, flowery language makes no sense. If you're telling it from the POV of a character who has their head in the clouds, flowery language is perfect. It all depends about the end goal and your target audience, but so often this advice gets boiled down to "don't do this it'll bore people" but the right audience for your story will not be bored by your language! The trick is honing your language so that it adds to the story and doesn't actually detract from the end goal. This can be accomplished by simply having an editor or beta reader who's on the same page as you are for goals and can help you smooth things over that don't work!

"if a scene doesn't advance the plot, cut it" I think this is fine advice... With the caveat of understanding the way you're using the world plot here. A lot of people see plot as like, the 8 episode series with no "filler" its just plot points that contribute to the main goal of the story and little else. But a better way of looking at plot is considering the main tenants of the story. You've got the overall plot, the goals, the character arcs, the setting, the history, etc. in this case, plot scenes should develop at least one of these things, if not more. So that scene you have that doesn't move the Big Plot forward but it gives the reader insight into why characters make the choices they do? That is a plot-advancing scene! And always remember you don't have to permanently delete scenes you worry don't add to the plot, save them somewhere to reference later and go from there!

"say what you mean" tbh this one is outright too convoluted from any original writing advice I've gained from my classes and talking to other writers. A big point of writing is trusting your readers to be smart, to make an effort to figure things out. It can be hard to find the balance between how much information you do or don't give, but that's what drafts are for! You can test that give and take of foreshadowing and symbolism and so on

"too much world building is distracting" for me that's silly (I and many of my friends are primarily fantasy writers. World Building is essential). The real advice to keep in mind with world building is how does it tie in to the scene? Are we getting info abt the world bc a character is observing it? Bc a character is asking questions? Bc a character is discussing with another? Is it prose or dialogue or description? Does it halt the action of the story and make the reader feel like they're reading an essay rather than a story? It's all about presentation, and esp in early drafts it's ok if you describing world building does bring everything to a halt! It's a draft, you gotta get the ideas out so you can weave them in later!

Anyway, something I learned from creative writing classes and my professors and my friends is that a lot of the frustrating and seemingly stupid writing advice may be born from a grain of real advice, the issue is it's been boiled down and simplified to a point it's no longer helpful. Looking for the grain of truth and learning to tell the difference between types of writing advice is essential! And don't immediately ignore it if advice is phrased in a way like one of the examples here. Consider if there's something useful to it, even if the answer is no, the act of considering and critical thinking can help you consider your craft from new perspectives!

Sorry I know this isn't rlly the point of the post and normally I leave things in tags but it felt better to format this this way <3

“Keep descriptions short and don’t use poetic/flowery language in a novel” “if a scene doesn’t advance the plot cut it” “avoid complicated symbolism and hinting at things, just say what you mean” ��too much worldbuilding is distracting” bites you bites you bites you bites you bites y

[easily-bullied]

wow I'm back two years later. I wanted to do some writing, get things out of my head and onto the page about the latest things that are bothering me. and then I read that last post and it made me want to laugh because... my mom died like 3 months after I wrote that wow that girl didn't know what was about to hit her.

perspective

hind sight

2 more years. 34 (lol 'im a thirty year old' nah bitch u were about to turn 32) and used to hell. shit I was coddled. I felt strong and I look at her like oh babes! champagne problems. but now I'm also comparing and it's like, well shit, I got some places. we moved. I had 2 semi serious flings (one was supposed to be the thrust of this post, it probably still will be) new job, new friends, new haunts, new furniture new anxieties same anxieties. rediscovering some thing I loved, finding ways to love someone, loving new parts of me.

ok is that enough of a through line? for the no one reading this. I wanna talk about the thing I came here for. let's get some stuff out.

I fell in love

I think I fell in love

I tried to fall in love and it might have worked

I looked at something that I could love and I said 'go and do it'

and that thing was like 'hey this is probably a bad idea' and I said 'yup, I hear you. I know.' and then I said quietly to myself 'love harder and maybe it'll work out. I bet if you just keep running and don't slow down you can fix this.' and I nodded at them and I nodded at my friends as they counseled me and still I whispered to myself 'no we should keep going'

what does that mean?? can that really just mean I'm that desperate to be loved? can it not mean that maybe this love was real and it should be cherished and missed? like it was supposed to happen and it's a cosmic wrong that needs to be righted? wouldn't that explain some of this feeling?

every day I'm white knuckling it. I want to text them even this second. hell I hope I'll convince myself it's a good idea by the time I'm done typing.

is it easier to think of not me? is that why?

at least im starting to forgive myself for my mistakes. or at least im convincing myself that they're being forgiven. and I bet they are! minor shit. shit I apologized for. profusely. and genuinely. real remorse. how do I be accountable? I respect the boundaries. at least the ones that I can assume. a few months they said. it's been 2 weeks. I'm dying

ok so let's say they come back. they say they missed me. they say they love me. what's that look like. what do I want. I want to see them happy and comfortable. I want them to thrive. I want them making art. I want them smiling and laughing. I want me feeling appreciated, I want me feeling adored and supported. I want to feel not alone. I want someone I can lean on. who looks forward to the times I need their strength cause it makes them feel strong and needed. that's who I need.

is that someone they are? it's hard to know I guess. it was only a few months. I feel like they would want to be able to be that person. but maybe just not yet. that would make sense to me. I can see that needing time. I can see that time being helpful. even if it's not for that express purpose. I can see it being the outcome.

would they see it in themselves? trust themselves to be it? I guess that's not up to me and I can't know it.

ok so what if they don't come back. are you going to wallow again? in three months still be sad? why were we sad before the relationship. why were we sad in it? I just don't feel real enough. I don't feel filled in. I feel like a first draft. I am one. I guess it all is. I don't think about it. I don't examine. I'm afraid to look. I don't feel like I have permission??

what would calm me down? knowing what they want? but they don't know. so that can't be what I need

knowing I'll be ok. knowing I won't be alone

ok let's think about that. so you really actually think you're unlovable? no

you know you're kinda great

it's about finding someone that makes you feel it when you can't feel it yourself. that exists. I've seen that. I won't break that next time. I'm better than I was

I'm good enough. I've always been good enough. how I'm better. only 34. 20 years. 20 long years. and I still won't even be 55. that's not bad. lots can happen in a year. boy oh boy lots and lots

where was I last August? I had just moved here. I would been just finished having my birthday. a lot anxious. wow I was looking to have a hot girl summer and have sex and then I realized I was too afraid. it wasn't time yet. ok so now I've had sex a bunch in the last few months. been in a couple dates. found a new type that I like. been with other trans people. felt seen and accepted. it's not a miracle when that happens. it just means it's with other people like me. people who are wonderful and beautiful and different and thought about why.

it's hot that you know who you are. even if you aren't finished. you went further than a lot of others.

the way they looked at you was real. you both know that was real. it doesn't matter what's coming. I can't control that. but it was real back then. that happened. and it felt so good and made everything feel better and it soothed you. and there's people who are dying to look at you that way again. maybe even that same person. but regardless you will have it

and it's with the knowledge that you can love them back in a way that you're proud of. that makes you feel like a whole. see your fullness as a woman, as a lover, as a caretaker, as a pillar, as a mother. all there. in me. swirling around. like how is that not the only thing I can think of? like holy shit look at you Momo. the fullness of you, the person you were SO afraid of being and now I'm it all day every day and like it just all slipped on exactly fitting. a slip, built for your body. all there.

Ollie loves you too. so don't be too worried. and also hey the last blog post was funny!

[macabrecake]

hey cake - your ideas stuck in my head, so can I request a small blurb with Leon and fem reader, him admiring her as she rides him and he’s absolutely obsessed with it

Deadass giggling and kicking my legs as I read this you have no idea how excited I am for this one cause this idea in particular has stuck with me for SO long! I gotchu bby y'all buckle up I'm going all in. And it's gonna be re6 Leon cause hubby (I've missed him 🥺)

Warning: minors steer clear of this or Saddler will add you to his plaga army.

"Are you sure about this, Leon?"

The question shifts his smirk to a much softer smile, one that he only reserves for you, as he eyes your bare, timid body sitting on top of him. Both of you tucked away together in the comforts of your shared bedroom. He's gotten a break from work before being shipped to Tall Oaks within the week.

And he knows exactly how to spend his free time.

"Trust me, it'll be fun. I promise." The agent reassures while his large hands sweetly stroke and gently squish your plump thighs and hips. The warmth radiating from them offering a welcomed sense of comfort to easily help you relax more. But some doubts still plagued you.

"I know it'll be fun, but..." You trail off quietly, trying to find the words while subconsciously hugging yourself a little tighter. Luckily, Leon is amazing in terms of reading body language. When the idea was previously tossed around- you did worry about a few things. Somehow accidentally hurting him or just the whole experience going south since you've never done this position before.

Yet you're always so eager to please.

He adores that endearing quality about you as he sits up and gently takes hold of your chin so you'll look up at him, and his cheeky little smile. "You always look beautiful beneath me. I can guarantee you're gonna look just as beautiful up here too."

You're unable to fight the small giggle that falls from your lips, or the blush that rises in your cheeks and travels down your neck to your collarbone at Leon's gorgeous voice speaking so sweetly like that.

Practically melting in his lap when you haven't even hopped on his dick yet.

The blonde chuckles before stealing another kiss then softly bumps his nose with yours, your own secret little love language between each other. "We'll go slow, ok?" He says quietly, those deep sky blue eyes holding your gaze with nothing but pure patience and love.

It tells you all you need to know.

Once you give the ok, cause he's a man of consent no matter what, Leon places his hands back on your hips and carefully guides you down onto him. Then...

Paradise.

His deep groan mingles with your soft whimper once he finally bottoms out inside you. The feeling of your heat wrapping around his cock so tight like this was absolutely divine he was almost worried he'd cum right then and there. Leon manages to steel himself however as his head falls back against the pillows with a sharp exhale. His hands suddenly clamping down on your hips a little rougher as he sets a slow pace as promised.

Not that you're complaining at all in the slightest, if anything it pulls another moan from you as your walls twitch and squeeze him more when he starts moving, not realizing any of those delicate spots even existed until now. "Leon.~"

The golden blonde picks his head up to gaze at you, that devilish smirk making a reappearance as he gleefully eyes the blissed out state you're already in. But who could blame you, really? The view you had was pretty damn spectacular as well. Battle scars from the hell he's been dragged through over the years and won every time so he could lay here with you now, cold blue eyes staring at you playfully but still so warm, the fucking washboard abs and pecs. Just Leon Scott Kennedy in all his natural glory. "You ok, honey?" He can't help but tease a little.

Only to snicker when you glance away with a shy smile and bite back a soft mewl, after all this time together and you still get flustered around him. He loves it. But you're hiding from him, thinking he doesn't see the way you hold yourself so your breasts don't bounce or allow yourself to get too loud.

It earns you a soft disapproving sound from Leon as his hands move away from your thighs to take your hands from your chest, intertwining your fingers with his, and holding them down at your hips. "Don't be shy, sweetheart. I wanna see." He encourages, tone soft like his thumbs that rub the back of your hands. The gesture makes your heart flutter and eventually loosen up completely.

Giving the man a sight that he fully believes could rival the seven wonders of the world.

Once you caught the rhythm, you fell into it perfectly. Leon could practically see the confidence in you build up as you stopped covering your sounds and yourself altogether. Letting your tits bounce, your head slightly fall back with another moan just for him, as your hips roll and grind down to meet his thrusts in your own sensual dance. Getting lost in it all. That's what he was after. That's what he wanted to see. And he was right- you truly looked so goddamn beautiful like this.

It excited him so much, Leon's chest actually tightened up for a moment. He doesn't care if it sounds cheesy or cliché but it stole his breath and somehow made him fall even harder for you. Leading him to wonder if maybe there really is a God that sent him this angel as a gift for all the hardships he had to endure. If that's to be the case.

Then it was all so worth it.

Suddenly his gaze locks on yours when he finds you staring at him, clearly you're feeling good. But you still seem a little worried if you're doing a good job for him or not. Fuck, if you only knew. "That's it, baby girl." Leon praises you breathlessly with a rather dopey little grin- completely awestruck by you. Your sounds acting as his favorite song, that he's no doubt recorded once or twice.

That blissfully shy smile you give him, so proud of yourself for just making him happy like this. Mixing with the clear view he has of his lower abdomen and cock being heavily coated in more of your slick as he reappears then quickly disappears back inside your gushing pussy to stretch you again. And again. And again. As if you never want him to leave. Jesus Christ, he won't be surprised if his heart explodes at this rate.

"Goddamn, I love you." The blonde groans, receiving a light squeeze from your dainty hands and a whisper back in reply, "I love you more."

That's it for him, the final nail in the coffin. He's desperate to watch you cum now as he bolts upright to wrap his arms snug around your waist and bounce you harder in his lap. "Mmh~ Oh fuck!~ Leon!~" Given how he smiles against your lips says it all- It's official. This is his new favorite way he likes to have you. Always. "Keep screaming my name, sunshine." Leon lovingly growls as he presses his forehead against yours. Blue eyes lit with a firey hunger.

"We've got all night.~"

[chocolatemilksmoothie]

Labyrinth Runners

Omg I loved this one!! buckle up, there's a lot of little details and a lot to point out

I suspected we might not get an update on Luz and the rest of the owl house members and the suspense there is killing me ngl...

I can already see it, both groups meet and both are like "we have SO much to tell you you're not gonna believe this-"

anyways, baby Willow and baby Gus my beloveds

I love their relationship. they were there for each other before anyone else was, and you can see how deeply they care for one another

Gus is a scary good illusionist, it must be frightening to have that happen

ahh good ol' breathing exercises, always worth a shot

I ADORE that Bump allows more kids to try multi track magic, and Matt got into illusion magic! aww

Among Luz's messages was "don't scare him(them?) away" I think she was referring to Hunter. it's sweet she took the time to write that, but god I hope she's safe

the hearts they are adorable <3

I enjoyed Willow and Amity's plot as well! Amity trying to protect her because he values having her back vs Willow wanting her to see that she is strong and can fight alongside her!

he's been reading about Grimwalkers... oh buddy what have you learned?

it's both sweet and heartbreaking that 1) he thought of hexside as a safe place to hide and 2) he's wearing the Flyer Derby outfit. he really had a good time being a normal kid for a day :')

Adrian. I like his style but I did NOT buy his act. How horrifying that he was tricking students into getting sigils by pretending he was helping them not get sigils. messed up

they really made him a pretentious director. I love it. both he and Terra are scary and full of personality, very fun antagonists to see

Love his design also. Everything about it

Severine... is voiced by Dana right? she was hilarious, go back to the tiny cat coven girl they don't deserve u here

Loved the concept of a trippy labyrinth of familiar places too

throw yourself down the steps to see if they're real, flawless technique

once again Hunter parallels another character. Gus is trusting by nature, which has led to him getting hurt, while Hunter grew up in a competitive, hostile environment where the only person he trusted blindly ended up being a monster. He is being extra cautious. But Gus won't hurt him

God, Belos sent a search party and is pretending like he's all worried. he hasn't told anyone he ran away. but we know what'll happen if he goes back to the castle *shudders*

the acting and animation for the panic attack, the breathing and the hesitation were done with a lot of care. I also like that it's in "Gus' room"

I love Gus I love him lots ok

the banned posters I love my children lmao

HIGH FIVE

I'm so happy Hunter still calls Willow "captain" he respects her a ton

and again, it makes sense he noticed she wasn't the real one. Gus is trusting, and Willow has never taken advantage of his trust, while Hunter is super on edge atm

"put him-" "out of his misery? got it" jesus dude he just kicked you

HIS TEAMMATES SAVED HIM

"dude looks sickly" yeah he's been sleep deprived and mentally abused and probably not eating much it'll do that to ya

oh I love this little ragtag team of rebel witches (+ Gus of course)

Adrien wants to find the Galderstones for Belos. Funny, pretty sure that's an ingredient for a certain thing hmmm ever heard of Grimwalkers?

"in the name of the moon we will kick your ass!"

Gus' ability to make you see traumatic memories is messed up. Dana stop traumatizing the children challenge

Hunter and Gus bonding about how they've been deceived and used. and awww the breathing with whistling ahaha is this because of the tooth gap because same

GUS KEPT THE MIRROR THINGY YES

"what... is... this??" "just go with it" my heart

friends will hug you even if you haven't showered

the Illusion coven head got MESSED UP oh my god

Barcus cracks me up he's so well spoken

and we end with Hunter having a LOT to talk about, but also having a large group of people to support and watch out for him

I suspect they're all gonna start preparing to find Luz and the others and to stop Belos in the Day of Unity ohhhohoho I feel DREAD BABEYYY

this was a dense one, and the first episode without Luz in it. I expect next week we'll catch up with them, especially King, and hopefully by the end of next ep both teams meet up to prepare together...

[lu-sn]

ok i have been sufficiently encouraged (thank you @ameliarating ❤️)

i have many many Thoughts about how pete was treated at the main compound after returning from his imprisonment, and i tried to cram as many of them as possible into splinter, but i left out a lot of the surrounding events because they didn't quite fit. so here is my dvd commentary, which is a fancy way of saying "an avalanche of depressing headcanons" 😂

if you didn't read it, warning that this probably won't make much sense — but the premise of the fic is that chan interrogates pete about his imprisonment, and it does not go well for pete.

cw: mentions of sexual assault. and a general warning for: this got away from me, as usual, it's too many words, oops 😅

the medical examination

porsche has just started to daub at the deeper scars on pete's chest when they hear a stern knock on their door. it's not chan, but it is a guard sent by chan, and they order pete to report to the medical bay for examination and treatment.

chan is furious on so many levels. a lot of them have to do with kinn, and how incompetently kinn handled this entire pete mission, and how little kinn told chan about what happened. unfortunately he can't actually chew out kinn — but now that pete is back, he's going to go directly over kinn's head and treat pete exactly as protocol demands. and that means getting a full debrief from him, but it also means treating pete as a suspicious agent. if a man disappears like that without reporting back, it's a huge red flag.

all of that to say: chan doesn't trust pete to tell the truth, even though pete probably has an extensive history of being honest. so it would be prudent of chan to back pete into a corner. he needs to have solid evidence that pete will not be able to lie his way around

hence, the medical examination. pete's body cannot lie.

as soon as pete is given the order, a pit opens up in his stomach. this is the moment that he starts to realize, through his haze of shock, that he is not going to be able to keep his imprisonment a secret.

so he goes down, porsche trailing helplessly after him, and subjects himself to the examiner. and it's cruelly invasive. to have obtained the list of conditions that chan reads off later, it must have been.

pete has been through this kind of exam before. all the bodyguards have. it is a semi-regular occurrence. the main family needs to verify the quality of their assets.

but pete is currently all sorts of wires-crossed about being touched, and about being looked at. to have been seen by vegas as someone precious and real, and then to give all of that up — only to have a stone-cold examiner put their hands all over him, to treat him as the object he is? oh my god. i can't even think about it. it hurts, and not in a good way.

porsche is waiting outside the exam room, and he knows exactly what they're doing to pete (after all, he's been through it too). and porsche feels so fucking guilty, can barely breathe for how terrible he feels, how much he is hurting for pete. and that's when chan shows up.

"what are you doing here," porsche asks dumbly.

chan doesn't say. but porsche gets a bad feeling about this, pushes at chan until chan finally says that he's here to take pete away for a debriefing, after pete is done with his exam

and pete will never know this — but porsche thinks about pete in that bathroom, unable to speak, face crumpled in pain. and with no hesitation, porsche goes to bat for pete. "wait until tomorrow," he tells chan. "he needs to rest."

of course, chan is here precisely because he wants to interrogate pete while pete is at his weakest. but porsche has power now. he's kinn's lover. he cannot be so easily disobeyed — and so chan relents. (he'll get pete early tomorrow, and it'll be fine. gives them more time for pete's blood work to come through, regardless.)

the interim

pete manages to get away from porsche for just long enough to cry into his noodles. and not to make this scene worse or anything, but pete trying to emulate vegas's touch on his skin right after going through the exam? trying to erase the memory of latex prodding unforgivingly at him, reminding himself that he was once touched as something to be revered? (that he might never have that again?) ahahahahaha. 🔪

when he gets back to their room, porsche warns him that chan wants a debrief. and a slow panic starts building inside of pete.

he doesn't sleep that night. he probably wouldn't have, anyway, but now it's much more dire. he needs to plan. he needs to figure out what he can and can't tell chan. he needs to come to terms with the fact that he's about to lie to his employer. (he doesn't.) he steels himself to talk about the most emotionally and physically taxing period of his life. (he fails.)

(does it sink in, during that night, that pete is in terrible danger? i don't know. he's probably not thinking about it like that. doesn't change the fact that he is.)

and so when he's summoned, early enough that the sun has yet to rise, he's running on zero sleep and his nerves are shot to hell. and that's exactly where chan wants him.

the interrogation

(i almost wrote it from chan's pov, because that could have had a bunch of cool insight about how chan is manipulating pete throughout the interrogation. but then i would have missed out on all of the cronchy pete thoughts 🥺 no regrets.)

chan's goal throughout this is to get pete to a highly vulnerable state and keep him there. pete's already done half of the work for him, but chan picks up on the flinch pete can't suppress at the mention of sexual assault, and he plans to use that to his advantage later.

pete actually does pretty well for the first half! chan is simultaneously impressed and peeved. and he doesn't display this, but he does start to think that maybe pete wasn't up to anything suspicious.

but then they get to the safehouse, and oh god. pete is editing vegas out of the narrative as he goes, and he's speaking slower. his retellings are garbled and non-linear. he can't seem to consistently describe his torturer at all. it's a striking contrast to the first half of his story.

so chan lets him speak, makes note of all the holes in pete's story — and then hits him with the sexual assault ask. and it works, it works so fucking well, pete's emotions immediately fly off the rails.

and then he pushes, just on one part of pete's story — and pete crumbles.

pete didn't explicitly confess to anything the entire time, and that's worth something. but it's not enough. chan is fully convinced that pete is lying about something — but it's not like he's going to tell pete that to his face. he needs to debrief with korn first before taking any action, and in the meantime he doesn't want to alert pete of his suspicions.

so he de-escalates. he tells pete it's ok to make mistakes (lie), and he makes it seem as if pete has successfully completed the debrief (lie). this works, too. the relief on pete's face is stark.

(side note: the de-escalation was inspired by that chanbig scene in ep6 where chan tells big to calm down and that kinn will be alright. i know it's the scene that launched a thousand ships 😂 but i don't think it's meant as a kindness. it's what big needs to hear in order to snap back into being useful for the family.)

overall: the whole time i was writing this, i was thinking about the concept of second rape, which is a term used to describe the grueling lineup of police interrogations and medical examinations and court proceedings that a sexual assault survivor will go through if they choose to report. the thorough dissection of the survivor's trauma and the derision their story tends to receive can feel akin to the original assault. depending on your interpretation of canon events, pete doesn't literally fall into this category — but metaphorically, this is what he's experiencing.

(somebody hug pete please 😭 vegas WHERE ARE YOU!!!! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE YOUR HUSBAND NEEDS YOU)

the aftermath

shower scene my beloved 🫠 i originally tried to write pete having depressing shower thoughts about his own agency and privacy being stolen away. it just didn't sound right, even when i started over a few times. and then i changed the focus from pete's pain to vegas's, and it just all clicked.

can't quite articulate this — but pete, in that moment, is totally incapable of processing what has been done to him. but he knows what happened was wrong, somehow, and the way that manifests is via thoughts about how vegas has been wronged. (he wants to burn the record of vegas's story? oh, pete. it's your story first.)

chan and korn!!! and the crowd boos. i headcanon that chan and korn actually come to odds quite a bit on this topic. chan's job is to eliminate threats to the family. killing pete is the cleanest option!

(and secretly, it might be a kinder option to pete compared to what korn wants to do with him — not that chan is necessarily thinking about it like that.)

meanwhile, korn wants to keep him around, because he loves seeing all his little chess pieces make messes of themselves. chan hates this so much. he feels that korn is inviting trouble, and one day it will backfire tremendously. he never once says this. he always cedes to korn.

(another aside — damn, i can't shut up today — chan and pete are kind of similar, no? in terms of their unwavering loyalty? chan must have been someone, and had thoughts and feelings, when he was younger. who's to say he wasn't like pete? and when pete is chan's age, he would be a viable candidate for chan's position. he just needs the sympathy to be beaten out of him first.)

and a coda, as a treat for making it this far:

after the coup, korn hunts down the file with chan's report about pete, and he reads it with fresh eyes. and it's so obvious, in hindsight, that pete was trapped with vegas the whole time. korn now has a detailed record of everything vegas ever did to pete in his darkest hour. and korn would not be who he is, if he did not immediately start conceiving of ways to use that information for his own advantage.

[dayshipper]

YOU GUYSSSS!!! I can’t even begin to think about what all of this means!!! Fair warning, this is really messy and unedited, just like the inside of my head atm, so I’m sorry if it doesn’t make much sense. Ok so let’s build up to THE pic by starting off with Kie in the red dress. I’ve got a couple of theories for this one. The first is pretty much the same as what I’ve said before which is that she gets kidnapped by that ‘Don’ guy somehow. 

Now I’m kinda thinking that after they’ve all been on the island for a bit, they venture off to find the nearest town to get a change of clothes, food etc. When they’re there, they find the ‘Don’ guy and overhear him talking about treasure/ bounty. They either decide to trust the guy and believe that he is working with them to get the gold, or they are playing him at his own game. Either way, I think Kiara is the bait. Maybe the guy takes a shine to her, or maybe thinks that she is someone that she isn’t. Maybe the pogues all get caught by him and she’s the only one who didn’t so she makes out that she isn’t with them in order to save them all and is working from the inside.

As for the photo of the moment! Ugh, the ANGST!!!! I actually don’t think that he is going in for a kiss here! 😬 I mean, I would LOVE for that to happen but I just don’t feel like that’s it. I also don’t think that he is touching her wrist/bracelets 😭 I know, I know it's blasphemy to say at this point. But I thought that JJ and Kie were grabbing each other's hands in the obx2 promo poster when they were on the dock but that wasn’t right, so hopefully I’m wrong again this time. Except this time, I’ll be happy to be wrong!

If we do go with the idea that he is holding/ touching her bracelet/ wrist, I’m thinking that the photo was taken right after he returns the bracelet to her (maybe she loses it 🤡) and lets go of her hand after putting it on her. They then have a moment because they realise how close they are to each other. Or he's touching the bracelet to make a point of how she's one of them and they're in this together.

However, I actually think that this scene is more about JJ trying to persuade her into doing something and Kiara is sad and defeated because she knows that it’d be the last thing she ever does if she goes along with it because of her parents. His hand looks like it's in a bit of a fist which makes me think that he might be frustrated or feeling resolute about whatever he is talking about to get his point across.

Or, maybe he is confiding in her about his dad. Maybe he heard something on the grapevine about him and he’s conflicted about what he thinks he should do. Or maybe his restitution is finally catching up to him and she’s trying to stop him from spiralling. He’s feeling sorry for himself (a bit like how he was after he escaped the ambulance) and she’s feeling upset that he thinks of himself the way he does.

I’ve tried not to read other people’s opinions on what they think is going on in this picture so that I wasn’t influenced but I did see some people think that JJ was confessing his feelings to Kiara after their hug in the previous episode. I don’t actually think that that’s what’s going on here. Again, if I’m wrong, I’ll never be happier (and as a Taurus, that means something), but I’m just agh I don’t know. I keep flip-flopping on this one!! I guess I just don’t see him confessing his feelings to her that early in the season! She looks too sad and he doesn’t look conflicted enough about it.

Overall, I think this picture shows JJ is continuing to realise his feelings for Kiara even more and will be making it more and more obvious as the season goes on.

It'll be subtle and monumental all at the same time. Anyways, these are just some ~preliminary~ thoughts that spring to mind. I’ll be sure to add more as I think of it 🥰

[madrigaljail]

Some More In-Laws Apocrypha

Sooooooooooooo if you've been following the saga of me torturing myself with my own writing you know that a while back I wrote what's essentially the end of the El Brujo Loco saga back when I was writing chapter one of something else and anyway. It's complicated. And it ended on a cliff dive cliffhanger. Well, I've since been politely bullied into resolving the cliffhanger but! I pulled an Uno-reverse card and switched up the POV so now it'll tie in better with the Bruno/OMC rom com I had no idea I was going to write when I first started planning this.

Got that? Ok, here's 2200~ words of (my) José Guzmán walking down a bunch of stairs, doing a lot of thinking, and making some lousy choices. cw: internalized homophobia, nonconsensual kissing (with immediate reprisal), reference to suicidal ideation, good lord these guys are a mess, thank god it takes them 30 more years to get together. Anyway, T border on M for this because Themes, idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

*

He heard an angry shout from far below, the echo of a door slamming, and José fell to his knees and called out a prayer of thanks. For a moment he’d thought he’d just witnessed Bruno leap to his death, but…he watched the rope and the counterweight sway, spotted the pulley anchored near the eye-shaped skylight, and shook his head.

“You…insane bastard,” he muttered before shakily getting to his feet and turning around. The vision remained where he’d dropped it, one of the corners had broken off but thankfully the image was intact. 

José looked it over again, shifting the tablet back and forth and marveling at the clarity. It was definitely him, somewhat older, and he seemed enveloped in a sense of peace directly at odds with Bruno’s ravings about the misery and hardship that awaited him. More proof, he guessed, that the problem was with the Seer and not the Gift.

Speaking of misery and hardship: there were all those stairs he still had to climb down. Delaying the inevitable, he took one last look around the imposing entrance to the vision cave, the grand archway and carvings like something out of an ancient temple. Or a tomb. Contrasted with that, Bruno’s hammock and haphazard pile of supplies called to mind a beggar’s encampment. 

Well. José had done his part, whether or not it got Señora Madrigal what she wanted was out of his control.

With a sigh he carefully slid the vision into his satchel and began his descent. The steps had been nowhere near as numerous the last time he’d been in this room, years ago, when they’d still been children. Even then he’d noticed with each visit - there hadn’t been many, and he never stayed long - that the room got taller, and when he’d pointed it Bruno had shrugged.

“Part of the magic, I guess,” he’d said with a shy, awkward smile. 

Since the explanation was given back when one could trust what he said, José accepted it. Plus Pepa’s room had changed too and…

Good Christ, that had been a mess. Humiliation burned his face and he froze, fists clenched, between one small landing and the next. He’d cast her aside on her birthday, called her clingy and desperate, and in time he’d suffered the vengeance of her siblings but it had been better than facing the truth, hadn’t it?

It had made more sense than to admit that, upon being led to a wonderland of rainbows and mystic clouds by a beautiful, eager girl on the edge of seventeen, he’d completely failed to be seduced. That the same happened under less miraculous circumstances with both Lourdes Garcia and Pia Valencia was less notable, more quietly brushed aside.

That Nestor Herrera has succeeded was revelatory. A lot of things suddenly made sense in José’s mind following a few afternoons of awkward but satisfying fumbling, and he tried explaining how relieved he was to know someone else felt like he did. Nestor, baffled, had said it was just a thing guys did sometimes, it didn’t mean anything, that he shouldn’t read so much into it, and then never invited him over again.

Which left José alone to grapple with the confusion, shame, and finally despair that came when he realized exactly how different he was. Soon it became clear that he was fated either to loneliness or a marriage even more loveless than the one his parents endured, and his father warned him he needed to choose a girl soon because pickings were slim, and his mother was far too eager to crow about Osma Martinez being newly available, and-

And then the Devil himself in the form of Bruno Madrigal had skulked into church on the Feast of the Assumption, shrugged off that stupid military jacket only to keep it draped over his shoulders, mussed his unkempt curls so they fell more artfully over his eyes, and José added disgust to his list of descriptors. He’d realized he was sick, that much had become clear, but to consider goddamn el brujo fucking loco like…that? 

In time the desire grew to be as ugly and twisted as its target, and the harder he pushed it away the more consuming it became. His gaze would linger too long, poisonous ideas struck him at increasingly unwelcome times, and the only answer to his torment was an oblivious smirk and casual, aimless mockery.

When José drew back his knife that October night, enraged and frustrated and vengeful, and realized Bruno had not only given up the fight but was maybe encouraging him to go through with it, it all fell apart. 

That night he resolved to leave the Encanto, an idea he’d been toying with for some time but now had cause to act on. José confessed everything - unofficially, and in vague terms - to Padre Lopez, and after some thought his mentor agreed that finding a path over the mountains would be best for him. With some hesitation he went on to suggest looking into becoming a priest, that if he was careful he’d find acceptance, and if he was very careful maybe companionship.

His parents were furious, his brother bitterly hurt, and when word eventually reached Doña Alma she summoned him to Casita, which had led to…a conversation.

“When you leave, the Encanto loses a potential leader,” she’d told him seriously as her tired eyes drifted upwards. “Before that happens I want you to try and get another one back.”

She’d told him precisely what to do, and he’d climbed the stairs, and found an unresponsive lump in a hammock. Bruno had barely left his home in the intervening months and secondhand accounts from his sisters indicated he hardly left his room; by the greasy curls peeking out from under the blanket and the bitten-down nails on one exposed hand he believed it. 

So José waited, and explored the haunted space outside the vision cave, and waited, and studied those tormented carvings, and thought about the vulnerability of a bared throat, and his heart broke a little, and he fought back tears.

Then el brujo loco awoke and their old dance started up one last time. Bruno’s performance - and he now knew with complete certainty that was all it was - had become a desperate caricature, and José wanted to shake him, wanted the vision to show that maybe he would come along, wanted-

He’d reached the bottom of the stairs and run out of time. All that was left for him to do was step out the door and leave all of this behind.

Outside, it was so hot and dry that he felt like he was standing beside the glass maker's furnace. José heard arguing but couldn’t make out the words, and based on the atmosphere Pepa was involved and enraged and it was likely better - safer - for him to stay put until things settled down, then sneak out.

The tiles rippled at the base of the steps and all around the gallery, anxious. It was likely going to take a while, which left him alone with his thoughts, the weight of the future on his shoulder, and a golden glow beside him to keep him company.

The carved image was different from when they were kids too, the solemn, precocious boy replaced with wild curls, narrowed eyes, menacing hands, and…

José found himself dragging his thumb across the line of the mouth, feeling the rasp of wood grain and imagining stubble, hooking upwards at the corner where the permanent smirk was most evident. A moment, then another, to mourn something which never was, never could have been, and never would be. 

There had been those flashes of Bruno’s life to come, simple things, a growing, happy family he could be a part of, and he sighed and lowered his hand.

“Peace be with you,” he murmured, and as he turned to go he could suddenly hear the argument clearly.

Bruno, mocking: “To hell with your miracle!”

Pepa, shrieking: “To hell with you, you filthy, worthless-”

Every hair on José’s body stood up and even in the recess of the steps the flash was blinding, there was an explosion of thunder, and with it the entire house shuddered. Lightning must have struck the tower; he heard something crack, and as he blinked spots from his eyes he swore the golden light of the door flickered.

“That is enough, Pepa!” Alma, cold and furious. They all spoke over each other, until Pepa cursed and the front door slammed, the storm following behind in her wake and dissipating as she descended into town.

Alma kept talking, low and intense and he couldn’t catch the words. She stopped on a questioning tone, silence followed, and as he continued debating whether or not to go footfalls approached, then suddenly Bruno was framed in the archway at the bottom of the steps. 

He pressed a shaking hand to the wall for support as he caught his breath, shoulders slumped, head bowed, curtain of hair obscuring his face. His other hand came up to swipe at his face then he looked up, blinking when he saw José standing at his door.

Once again the fight appeared to have left him as he stared slack-jawed, those changeable eyes rendered glassy, and Bruno shook his head. “How are you still here?” he asked, flat, dull.

“I wasn’t sure it was safe to go yet,” José said, then decided to press his luck: “Is it?”

Bruno scoffed, sneered, then cocked his head and started up the steps, the mask firmly back in place.

“For you? Yeah, of course, you are in Doña Alma’s good graces.” He steepled his fingers and pouted. “The eager, faithful servant she’s always wanted- hey, maybe we can trade.”

He paused, spread his hands, and tipped them up and down like balancing scales, his gaze sliding to the tell-tale green glow coming from José’s satchel. “Let’s defy the future, I can go out there and whatever happens’ll happen, and you can stay here. Right here. Mamá will give you plenty of praise and attention until you slip up, and…well, sorry, can’t do anything about the uncaring father but-”

“Jesucristo almighty, do you ever shut up?”

Amazingly, for a moment, he did. The price of Bruno’s silence was a malicious grin as he all but hopped up the remaining steps until they were on the same level. José was only a couple of inches taller but it always felt like more, and they were both well aware of who would win in a physical confrontation.

The silence continued. The grin widened. He was being contrary on purpose. 

José closed his eyes, grit his teeth, then shook his head and relaxed, opening his eyes again.

“Look, whatever you- you win, okay? You win, Bruno, I’m not playing anymore.” Aside from the grin shifting into a grimace there was no reaction, so be pressed on. “What happened that night scared the shit out of both of us, stop pretending it didn’t. The game’s over, you can drop the act. Aren’t you tired?”

“You have no idea-” Then, finally, the mask shattered. Bruno swallowed and shook his head, shoulders hunching up. “No, no, ha, you…you know exactly how much I want all of this to be over.”

The truth of that chilled José to the marrow. Honestly each week that had passed without word of Bruno having succumbed to some mysterious illness or freak accident - and he could perfectly envision Doña Alma’s blank stare and hear her flat delivery of this news - was a surprise and relief. And now…

“So end it,” José whispered. “Now you know you’re going to live, start doing that.”

A scoff. “What makes you think you can tell me what to do?”

José reached up with both hands, grasped Bruno by the shoulders, and kissed him, hard. He tasted like sour wine and smelled like he needed a bath but it felt exactly as right as José had imagined, and God help him he'd imagined it often. 

His heart pounded when Bruno clutched at his shirt and he drew back to look into green eyes wide with…shock? Revelation? No sign of resistance though, so José kissed him again, more tender, more hungry, leaning in until Bruno’s back pressed against the wall. There was still no response so José hummed, approval and encouragement, and that’s when Bruno’s lips sealed themselves shut and the hand on his shoulder shoved him away.

Two large tiles under José’s feet tipped up and he was flung down, his shins cracked against the steps as he tried to recover, and it was only frantic grabbing at the handrail which saved him from tumbling all the way to the bottom. Above him, Bruno spat and then bared his teeth, furious.

“Get out,” he snarled, and beneath José the stairs tilted to create a steep ramp. “Go away forever, or Casita will make you leave.”

He let go, and slid down the steps, and he thought the last he’d see of Bruno Madrigal was a swirl of black fringe and sandaled feet disappearing behind a glowing door. He was harried by clattering tiles, creaking steps, and fanning shutters all the way to the front door, and before he left he glimpsed Alma staring at her husband’s portrait.

The next day the talk of the town was the obvious crack in Casita’s green tower, spidering out from where the lightning struck.

When he set out for the mountains he took one look back, and could swear he saw a small figure clinging to the tower, maybe holding a bucket, maybe wielding a trowel.

[pbstarot]

𝙋𝙞𝙘𝙠 𝙖 𝙎𝙤𝙣𝙜 𝙇𝙮𝙧𝙞𝙘 - 𝙃𝙤𝙬 𝙒𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙔𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙏𝙚𝙚𝙣𝙖𝙜𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝘾𝙝𝙞𝙡𝙙 𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙫𝙚𝙨 𝙎𝙚𝙚 𝙔𝙤𝙪?

Hello hello! I'm back at it again with another PAC, this time with a topic that troubles me in particular: What would my past selves think of my present self? So, I decided to make a PAC all about it. Now, if you are a teenager, you can read just the child part of the PAC. If you are supremely curious though, I suppose you can peek at what you will think of your adult self one day too. It'll work either way. Disclaimer: Tarot does not replace any sort of advice from a trusted professional that went to college for 8+ years to be there. It also does not always get things right. The future changes all the time and a responsible tarot reader can only assure 80% of their readings will be correct at any given point in time. Remember to take what you look at and go “huh, that could be me,” and leave the rest. Be conscious about your tarot content consumption and drink lotsa agua, amigo(a)(x).

Group 1

How does pile 1's child self see them right now?

Cards: Five of Wands, Wheel of Fortune, Ace of Wands, Ace of Cups

Ok, there's definitely change here with the wheel. You might have ended up as a completely different person than your child self thought you were gonna end up as (or, alternatively, you will in the future). It could be you liked a predetermined aesthetic or a certain job and now you have switched up on all of that. They would think that it's a nice change, but be a little disappointed because they wanna be all those things still. Maybe there's a small part of yourself that still wants to wear the clothes or do the job, and you don't have to indulge in it, only if you want to. Your child self is OK with it. Something else that they think about you is that you've grown up into a nurturing individual. Bleh, I know, I'm tired of hearing the word nurturing around, but you might be good with kids, so if you met with your child self you'd be extra careful and sweet with them, which in turn would make them think you're this great motherly figure and also a queen or princess. For some of you, your child self might think you're too argumentative. Not with them per se, but definitely with the people around them. To some, your relationship with your parents deteriorated over the years and your child self wouldn't be able to understand that completely. To others, it's childhood friends you ditched and cut, that your child self can't fathom being apart from at the stage they are at. In fact, it could be good for you to talk to these people again, to make peace with your past. That is, of course, a very specific message, so take it only if it resonates (if a person stabbed you, metaphorically or otherwise, for example, do not take them back).

What Message Does Pile 1's Child Self Have For Them Right Now: "Stop sleeping so damn much. Wake-up! You are missing some cool shit!" And "Time to let go. Move the fuck on."

So, some of you have shut people out of your life and now have plenty of time. For others, life doesn't seem to have the same flavor as it did when you were little. Your child self is begging for you to find this meaning again. There's sooo much around for you, they're just smaller than some of you might have expected by now.

How does pile 1's teenage self see them right now?

Cards: Eight of Pentacles, Ace of Wands, Wheel of Fortune, Three of Wands

Ok, you got similar cards on BOTH the messages and the reading proper. I figure that some of you, if not almost all, were very consistent your whole life. You had the same passions and the same drives throughout adolescence as you did throughout childhood. This in turn, makes your teenage self also see you as someone who changed, but different in the sense that they realize how much work you're putting in. It's like you're the idealized version of yourself. Maybe you kept a secret you hidden inside the drawers of your head and when you became older you finally felt confident enough to embody it. Your teenage self thinks that's pretty badass. It's a bittersweet feeling for them, though, because they will miss being more of a part of you, of you having the same goals and tastes. They're happy with where you are at now, but there's a gap between what was and what is, in which they believe they lost themselves in. I think your teenage self needs a hug to be honest. They need to be reassured that you still needed them to exist and love them for who they are, flaws and all (that one tumblr post comes to mind: "were you really a bad person or were you just 15") and that you are happy you were them once upon a time.

What Message Does Pile 1's Child Self Have For Them Right Now: "Stop sleeping so damn much. Wake-up! You are missing some cool shit!" And "You are giving too many fucks. Give zero."

Again, you got the same message twice, as I said at the beginning. From this one though, I feel like your teenage self can't even fathom the idea of you wasting yourself and your hardwork by sleeping instead of living and loving yourself. They believe that other people are getting to you and are truly telling you that this is some bullshit cause look at you! No one should be able to tell you shit because you became EVERYTHING you wanted to be and you're the coolest, most awesomest person in the world. They are so here for your glow up. Now get out there more and make them proud.

Songs: Sea Swallow Me by Cocteau Twins, Mary Hamilton by Joan Baez and Annie's Song by John Denver. (All of these songs have a similar, dreamy vibe, which is very interesting).

Private readings here.

Group 2

How does pile 2's child self see them right now?

Cards: Page of Swords, Two of Wands, King of Swords, Two of Cups.

For some of you, you were quite silent as a child. The song Child Psychology by Black Box Recorder comes to mind, especially the first part: "I stopped talking when I was six years old.I didn't want anything more to do with the outside world,I was happy being quiet.But, of course, they wouldn't leave me alone." For some, you were introspective and even prone to genius. Your child self sees you as an extension of themselves. For some, not even that. I don't think they pay much thought to you at all, lost in their own little world. It's like they wouldn't care if you were the same or different, as if nothing matters but their own affairs right now. Some of you might have had early depression and anxiety in your lives. For others, they'd see you as smart, but wasting your intellect. Maybe they had high hopes for themselves, but it's almost as if they can't bring themselves to care at all about you. It's such an odd energy, also very lethargic. I am also picking up they are seeing you as depressed, as a person who could have done so much more with themselves. Your child self is harsh, very bitter already even in infancy. This makes me think of the parents, maybe what they are saying is a reflection of what they believe your parents would think of you or them in your situation. You have the Two of Cups here, but it's such a bored feeling. You are an extension of me, but nothing changed sort of situation. Maybe they expected something bigger than you could realistically accomplish in such little time (especially if you are in your 20s).

What Message Does Pile 2's Child Self Have For Them Right Now: "Stop obsessing. You are not the fucking center of the Universe." And "Drop the fucking ego. Vulnerability is hot as fuck."

These are interesting messages from your child self. They have given me NOTHING in the tarot portion other than "I don't care, I just wanna go around and play," but here it's totally different. It's almost as if they bottled their emotions to let them out in other ways (a habit that some of you still carry on until this day). They are definitely telling you to deal with your emotions better, better than they can. They are projecting a lot of their own insecurities on you, though. It's not your fault at all. For some, it's simply the environment that you were raised at. For others, it's definitely still the expectations that you carried with you. By wishing you were better, they wish they were too. It's a vicious cycle.

How does pile 2's teenage self see them right now?

Cards: Ace of Pentacles, Four of Pentacles, Two of Wands, Death.

The way they see and think of you is VERY different from your child self's. They see you as an improvement upon themselves, a goal they finally achieved, conscientiously. They believe they have invested a lot on you and that you are the reward that they will sow, eventually. You might have killed quite a few selves to become the one you are now and they are proud of it. A very pragmatic teenager, but funny in a lot of ways, you give me Capricorn vibes. For some, your rebirth still in progress. For others, your rebirth is complete. All in all, it ends in the same thing: You becoming someone else, someone that you have worked on and can be proud of. Your child self be damned, your teenage self couldn't care less. They worked for you to exist. You might have been quite shy and now you are quite out there. You might have been afraid of owning your beauty and now you do just that. However it manifests, your teenage self sees and thinks of you as a goal to achieve, a goal they are happy they did get to in the end. They couldn't be prouder of themselves and you.

What Message Does Pile 2's Teenage Self Have For Them Right Now: "You look like a shitshow. You're a hot mess. Fact. Clean yourself up." And "You are giving away your power. You are a bad ass. Act like it."

They want you to take care of yourself to a T. You are their masterpiece. They understand you still have a ways to go in life and that you're not perfect, but at the same time they want you to pretend you are. Pretend you're everything you say you're gonna be already. They don't wanna think about the idea of you being sad in any way because they truly believe you are an incredible version of themselves, the amazing one. They need you to be well so they know they've done a good job. Bottom line of this, even though if might not be my place because it's not in the cards, is that imo, some of you need to loosen the high expectations you have on yourself. You need to relax. That's rich coming from me and I know it's easier said than done, but it's one step at a time when it comes to things like this. You're gonna be fine, but by God don't kill yourself over an idealized version of yourself when you already are the idealized version of yourself. Take steps towards them, sure, but remember that you're never gonna be entirely perfect. There's no such thing. I tried.

Songs: Right Action by Franz Ferdinand, All Too Well by Taylor Swift (10 minute version) and Every You Every Me by Placebo.

Private readings here.

Group 3

How does pile 3's child self see them as right now?

Cards: The Magician, The Devil, King of Wands, Ten of Cups.

They see you as this powerful, otherworldly creature. You are like a witch in a children's movie. I specifically am reminded of the witch that approaches the Sanderson sisters in Hocus Pocus 2, if you've watched that. If not, maybe Angelica Houston in The Witches, but not in a mean way. It's about the power you exude. It's almost as if you are a forbidden creature. Your child self is afraid and entranced by you, like Wendy behind the rock, observing Captain Hook in the movie version of Peter Pan. They believe you have the key of happiness, to life itself. They think you probably live in a cottage somewhere or that you should be living in a cottage somewhere. They believe you have magical powers, even if some of you didn't think those things were true when you were little. I don't know how to describe it other than absolute awe of who you are as a person. For some, your child self would like to ask questions and engage you in conversation and for others, they'd like to run. Some of them would give up midway and want to come back and others would hope you'd come to snatch them up. In almost all instances, they can't believe they became you. It's unfathomable. It's like something out of a dark fairy tale. Katrina from Sleepy Hollow also comes to mind, but in a darker way. Maybe you wear a lot of darker colors or exude a more mysterious aura. They can't tell if you're evil or not.

What Message Does Pile 3's Child Self Have For Them Right Now: "Rebel. Because fuck it." And "Some good shit is about to happen. Don't let your issues fuck it up."

I think the first message is them hyping you up for sure. For some, this is your message for them. You wish they'd rebel sooner than you have. Your child self already has certain powers of divination though. They might tell you things you don't know yet about yourself. I heard that you should pay attention to dreams you may have with them and see what they tell you. There's definitely a deeper message there.

How does pile 3's teenage self see them as right now?

Cards: Ace of Swords, The Lovers, The Tower, Six of Swords.

Wow you really have changed a lot. There's a few similarities to pile 1 and although I don't encourage multiple pile picking myself 'cause it can get confusing, you can check it out if you want, for further messages. Anyway, your teenage self sees you as a weird person. You are terribly weird. I don't know if they like it, they have a flight of fight thing going on and I'm picking up that it's because they didn't think you'd evolve so much. They don't wanna look you in the eye. For some, though, they secretly love you, and for others you are everything they secretly wanted to be all their lives. It's very cute in a way because it's a very innocent, pure child energy. It's a "can't deal with my emotions, will flee" situation. Your teenage self might also see you as a leader. They can also tell that you know a lot more than they do, but it's an extension of the things they were already interested in improving. They definitely feel the need to move on, to get a hold of themselves. If they were in your presence, they might feel bad because of the person they are, considering you're so cool and amazing (even if some would never admit thatb to your face). I feel some of your teenage selves would have a self loathing approach to this like "Yeah right, as if I can become her," and outwardly be really nasty towards adult you, because kids will be kids. Overall, it's a mostly positive thing, although not without its hiccups.

What Message Does Pile 3's Teenage Self Have For Them Right Now: "Time to let go. Move the fuck on." And "You need a good fucking cry. Get the ugly cry on. Let that shit go. Your soul will thank you."

Ok, so, I think these messages are them projecting onto you. You have incorporated them already, so some of you don't need to listen to what they have to say anymore. Others could benefit from it, but only because you should forgive your teenage self more for being themselves and different from who you are now. All in all, I believe that they think you should cry more, liberate your emotions more. I believe that they think they should move on themselves, though. Take what resonates.

Songs: The Meek Shall Inherit by Rick Moranis (Little Shop of Horrors), Haunted by Poe and Nowhere To Be by Remember Sports. (I highly recommend reading the lyrics to at least the last two because they ended up being really resonant).

Private readings here.

[browneyes-issac]

Memphis pt 6: My protector

Frankie Morales x f!reader

Warnings: fluffy cuteness. Protective Frankie. Asshole family. Mention of addiction,non descriptive, just mentioned. Make out sessionnnn!!! I think that's it. If I missed anything, please fell free to shoot me a DM or ask. 💞

AN: Ok so in July I had to go to a family thing. I have never known why but when I'm at family things, I am always hiding next to my mom and anytime I try to speak or be included in conversations.. I am always ignored. So this time around, I was really irritated with my aunt and some of her family that came over ( she's my adoptive aunt, btw.) So I instantly thought, I really wish I had Frankie or one of the Pedro boys here to comfort me, etc. So I started this series. 💞 As I say in the last paragraph in this, I'll explain what I changed, etc for the story a bit in my second AN.

I don't remember if there is an actual name for his kid in the movie.. Soooo we are naming her Nola.

Just like I've been doing I left some parts open for you to imagine what happens next. 💞

There is a part where I talked about Frankie, I went into a lot of detail because it looked sooo cute in my head sooo I wanted to get all the details for ya.. 🤣💞

Ok so.. This is my first time using dividers, Idk the appropriate amount to use/when the use them.. 😆 So I just decided to do them when the scene changes. I hope it'll make sense how I did it, lol. 🤗💞

Ok so the big part... I changed it around like 96%. There is some stuff that actually happened ( I'll put it in my after reading AN) and then I added in stuff that I think would have happened if I actually had my own Frankie there, meaning a boyfriend that is two + decades older then me. Will add something else to the end AN about a part in it, also. 💞

I decided not to have anyone read through this.. Just throwing it in the universe and running away. 💞🏃💨 too nervous about this part.. 🙈😆

Some keynotes/translations:

When there is words in this font and have (") it is internal thoughts. When it is the font by itself it's me describing what the setting looks like, more in depth of what's going in their head, stuff like that. 😊

All translation is from Spanish. I just went to Google and asked what it was in Spanish, lol. If I got it wrong shot me an ask or a DM. 🤗

Mi Cielito - my darling

hermosa - beautiful

cariño - sweetheart

Summary: Frankie gets to meet your family.

Inspo of the gif ~ this the best I could find that captures how he looks in my head during the part in this where he's saving the day for reader.

( being very blunt and no context at all with that I know... But it'll make sense after you read. 💞 )

Memphis masterlist

Main masterlist

Around three months of you guys being together you guys decided randomly that you both were ready to tell each other the reasons you moved to Memphis.

It just came up out of the blue one day, but both of you trust each other unconditionally and feel safe sharing that kind of stuff about yourselves.

~

You go first.

Frankie listens so patiently. You still don't understand how he does it with how bad you ramble, but that makes you love him even more.

He asks questions here and there. Gets defensive at times also. Just like you, he doesn't understand why family members have to be such assholes.

But in the end he is so understanding of everything. Why you think its annoying people when you ramble. He thinks it's endlessly adorable. Why you are very shy around anyone, especially the boys. Which you're getting better at feeling more comfortable. Frankie told them why one day while he was out with them, you're ok with it, because you know he'll always protect you and the boys would never do anything to hurt you. Among other things. He always takes his time with you in any aspect of anything, makes sure you're doing ok, etc.

Frankie's turn

You are kinda shocked.

He had told you about his daughter, Nola like the second week of dating because he had to go out of town to visit her.

But the addiction shocked you, only because he is such a sweetheart and you would never had thought he had one in the past.

You absolutely don't look at him different. He's still your sweet goofy Frankie.

He was so so nervous while he was telling you and more so after he finished. Because you had a neutral facial expression and you took a little while to answer him..

But of course you reassured him that he was safe and always will be safe with you. That he can talk to you about anything that bothers him and when he is having urgers to relapse.

You and Frankie have been together for about six months now. You're practically living at his house now. The job at the vintage store is going amazing, you're already manager. Best thing you ever did was move to Memphis. It's been absolutely fantastic and everything. Still have to make plans to go to Graceland though, cost a lot so got to save up ; but you aren't in a rush to get there.

One day you get an a Facebook invitation to an event. It's for your aunt's birthday. Yours is 10 days before hers, but ya know she has to be the most important thing during the month, so yours always gets over looked unless it's a big number. So youve always held a grudge against her for that, always kept to yourself because you don't want to cause a fight.

You're sitting on the couch reading what it is. You instantly groan in irritation while pinching the bridge of your nose.

" mi cielito, is everything ok? " Frankie says as he's walking into the living room with your snacks and drinks for the movie night you're having.

It has became a tradition for you two. Every Friday you have a movie night. Get all the goodies and pick out a few movies for the night.

Tonight it is Over the Top, Dirty Dancing, Top gun.

" yeah I guess. Just family crap.. Let's watch the movies, I don't wanna talk about it. " you say with a smile that isn't very reassuring, Frankie can instantly tell something is up and it's bothering you.

" you know you can always talk to me mi amor. Always gonna be safe with me. Will have to be a lotttt to me to run away screaming. " he says with that precious smile that melts your heart because he is saying hes here for you always just with his facial expression. And while he's caressing your legs that you draped over his lap once he sat down, then leans over and kisses your cheek and forehead, then sneaks a little peck to your lips.

" you're so lucky I love you. " You say while smiling that smile that is only held for Frankie. Then you playfully hit him with a pillow.

You show him your phone. He let's out a little huff because he knows how much your family irritates you. You tell him all about her because she hasn't ever came up in your discussions about family.. He is flabbergasted that she acts like such a child and she's twice your age. Most definitely is on your side and dislikes her just as much as you do.

" no way I'm letting you go to that by yourself. I'm coming with you. Itll be fun to see your hometown. " he says with such a warm smile then it fades into a teasing one in the second part. Because ya know he's a brat.

You just look at him in shock... He almost gets worried because you haven't said anything but then you leap forward and kiss and hug him.

" what is this for, hermosa? " he says while cuddling up closer to you as you crawl into his lap to be even closer.

I just.. I love you so much. I seriously don't know what the hell I did to deserve you. You are always so sweet and amazing to me. Sometimes I feel like I'm in a dream because it feels so beautiful and I don't even know a word, just so perfect. " you say while tearing up a bit because it's just so crazy but magical that you have Frankie.

He pulls you closer and kisses your tears away then says; " I feel the same way all the time. You're way out of my league, soooo damn gorgeous, wayyyy to good to me. But you're stuck with me cariño, as long as you'll have me. "

~

You guys make plans to go; get work off, you decide to take your car since we know it can make the trip already, get all the things you need packed, book a hotel, get your aunt a present. ( even though she doesn't deserve one)

It's finally time to go.

You're pretty excited for the trip. It's your first long trip with Frankie so you're excited for more fun and goofy stuff on the way. Maybe some spicy stuff since it's a twenty hour drive. 😏

But there is a good amount of nervousness. You're worried your family won't like Frankie or approve of him. Since he is twenty-four years older then you. There is a little bit of hope they won't be too flabbergasted by it, you have always liked and had crushes on older men; so maybe you won't have to worry about it...

Then there is this thing... You haven't told any family about him.. Youve mentioned you're seeing someone, just no details or pictures. The reason so is, because ya just know someone is gonna have an opinion about the age gap or that you jumped into a relationship so quickly after moving to Memphis, there is endlessly possibilities. Sooo you just kept it to yourself so nothing can ruin the amazingness.

You get to town finally. The nerves are in full swing now. It ended up being your turn to drive when it got to last bit. Which is ok since its your home town. And... It's an excuse to see Frankie sleeping.

~

He is the most adorable sleeper. Since he was in the military, he is able to sleep anywhere; since the sleeping places were always so uncomfortable. So in other words he passes out completely anywhere and in any position.

Your favorite ones, always have to take a picture to save the moment. You make a mental note that at some point you want to make a collage of them.

~

Of course this time it's a picture perfect one. Still buckled up. ( gotta stay safe of course) He has the seat leaned all the way back. Stole your comfort travel pillow without you even realizing it and is cuddling with it. Little did you know he grabbed it to sleep with because it smells like you which brings him comfort, and it is sooooo comfy and floofy. And his hat is pushed down all the way to his nose to hide away the sun. But now it's pushed up all goofy like because he's cuddled deeper into your pillow.

You pull over on the side of the highway right out of town to wake him up so he can have the full experience, lol.

You take the picture with the biggest smile on your face from seeing him look so adorable. Your heart always swells 1000x bigger because you love him more then words and can never get over how nice and sweet he is to you.

Then you lean over to take off his hat. Smoothly and sweetly caresse his hair out of his face. Give some sweet delicate kisses to slowly wake him up. When youre done giving him kisses you lightly rock him to wake him up while saying; " sweetie we are here outside of town. Do you want to wake up so you can see? "

He cuddles into your touch while lovingly humming at your warm comforting touch. " hmmm. Sure, hermosa. He yawns and stretches some. That was the best nap I've ever had in a car before. " he says while chuckling and fulling sitting up.

After he is sat up and back to a comfortable position in the seat he leans over and gives you a kiss. It's sweet and delicate at first then turns a little steamy.

He hums at how your lips feel and how they always feel like heaven, even after being with you for six months he still isn't used to them.

Then he slowly moves his hand to your neck to craddle your neck and lower cheek. You instantly put one hand in his curls ( can never get enough of them). And the other hand goes to his torso and caresse all over. You of course let him in when he ask to enter your mouth. Instantly releasing a mixture of a moan and whimper at how amazing and skilled he is with his tongue. Never get tired of that, he's such an evil god at using it.

That goes on for about five minutes or longer, it feels like forever. It always does because you both are alwaysss so focused on each other and in love.

" ok as much as I want to keep doing this, especially after the long drive.. We really need to get settled in at the hotel. Then we can go explore wherever you want my love. " you say slightly out of breath. As you say the exploring part you playfully pinch his nose and smile a bit. Because you know he's dying to see your hometown.

You run through the basics of showing him around. He asks questions here and there. After you're done you ask him if he wants to see anywhere in particular. Thinks for a second then adorably says your favorite get away when you needed to do so. You get choked up a little bit at that, because it is one of the things you love about Frankie, he always asks such deep but meaningful questions that make you fall for him even more. You agree to show him.

" now don't make fun of me because of the odd randomness of it. " You tell him as you're pulling up to a cemetery. You nervously giggle while saying it.

" mi cielito, is this where you kill me?? " he says in a joking worrisome voice while dramatically ( but adorably) clutching his heart.

" oh totally, sweetness. I got a spot and everything for ya. " you say while wiggling your eye brows all goofy and then winking.

After that you both burst into a laughing fit. Yeah it's an odd place but it makes sense after you tell him why.

" I've always loved being in nature and have been fascinating about cemetery things. Like the badass headstones people get, the different resting places you can choose to be laid, the creepy but cool ways Hollywood showed them. All kinds of things. One day I went to visit a family friend at this cemetery, I hadn't seen his headstone in person yet. When I was walking away I noticed how crappy the grass looked, two metal ones sinking into the ground, and how many things just looked sad. So I decided to see what was required to become a groundskeeper here and I did all the requirements, and became one when I was 18. There is something so soothing about doing grounds work and taking care of these people, so I always felt at peace here. Even before I started working here, I always came to walk around saying hellos to all the groups I passed and when I had the time I would always go and get flowers for everyone in the cemetery. Because ya never know who doesn't get visitors, so I always wanted to be nice and give them something sweet, I still did it even working there. You probably think I'm crazy but it's true I always feel so peaceful here no matter what... " you tell him after you have parked at the groundskeeper house.

He just sits there listening to you so intently and lovingly. You think you've just word vomited the most you've ever done to him, and think he's gonna be weirded out. Little did you know he thought it was the sweetest thing ever and loved you had something so unique for yourself to have a safe place.

He grabes your hands from your lap where you're nervously fiddling with them and says; I don't think you're crazy at all, cariño. Yes it's different but it is beautiful in its own way. You helped the place look more colorful and comforting. I bet if we could talk to the residents here they would say such wonderful things about you mi amor. " he then leans over to give you a reassuring kiss on the cheeks, nose, and then your lips.

You smile into the kiss and let a tear run down your cheek from feeling so loved and everything from this angel of a man..

It's time to go the party.

As you walk into the house, its already a little crowed. You forgot how much crap your aunt has in her house, plus her family.. Will always blow your mind how they live there. No one really pays mind to you because the family that sees you first are ones that don't really care about anything or saying hi like a polite person..

As soon as you get to the kitchen you can hear your aunt talking a mile a minute about her new obsession, you don't even care enough to listen what is. You go say hi to her and your mom, and introduce Frankie to them.

They both have a shocked look on their faces. You already know what they are thinking which causes you to tense up. Which Frankie sees and comes to hug you and ground you so you won't loose it this early.

" Y/N sweetie! I've missed youuu!! I didn't expect you to bring your boyfriend. But I'm happy to meet him. " your aunt says in a very fake excited voice. Which causes you to Internerly scream at her. 😤

~

The party is going as normal as they always do when it comes to parties in your family. You tucked away in a corner, practically invisible to everyone. At least Frankie is here to keep you company and help it not be as bad.

You think to yourself as you're looking up at Frankie, because he's holding you all protective like; " I am so thankful to have you, idk what I would have done here if you weren't with me. My handsome savior. " you smile and then cuddle into Frankie some more because he's the best cuddler ever and you always feel so soo safe wrapped up in his arms.

" what are you thinking about mi amor? " he says with that sweet like honey comforting voice while kissing the top of your head and nuzzling your neck, then leaves a few kisses there.

You tell him what you were thinking about. He smiles and has that look in his eyes that says he loves you endlessly and he's always gonna be here for you no matter what. You lean up and give him a kiss, a kiss that says thank you infinitely and I love you endlessly.

~

Some more time passes, it's time to eat. You and Frankie get up to get food. He is behind you hugging you while you make your plates. Giving you kisses along your neck all cute like and soothingly caressing you where his hands lay.

You go and sit down to eat. But you hear someone say something in a whisper; " he's so much older then her.. Why did she bring him? There has to be something fishy going on there. I just know it. " it's your aunt talking to her husband your uncle.

Frankie looks at you. Sure enough you have that broken look on your face. The one that he knows is caused by something that hurts you deep. So he reassuringly rubbs your back and then takes your hand and says;

" I know this is the first time we are meeting, probably will be the last after I say what Im about to. Why does it matter our age gap? We are infinitely happy, we both are adults. Can't you just be happy for your niece for once? And for your information, I came with her so this lame fucking party would at least be a little bearable. Unlike every other party she's told me about, that she's always in the corner pretty much being ignored. You all are real assholes to Y/N, she doesn't deserve what you guys put her through. And I'm gonna always try to prove and show her that real family doesn't do this shit.

Let's go hermosa. "

He ofers his hand for you to take so you guys can leave. You don't even say anything, you're in shock but have so much love and adoration for him right now for standing up for you like that. Because you could never be that brave.

Your aunt on the other hand... She's utterly shocked.. You don't stay around to see what she has to say. You guys make it out of the house before she's able to say anything.

Frankie is still fuming when you get to the car. You're in shock but surprisingly ok. Because somehow that happening lifted such a weight off of your shoulders.

He looks over to you and grabs your hand and says; " Y/N, baby. I'm so sorry I did that.. I just couldn't take hearing her say that after you telling me everything they've put you through.. I hope your not made at me. " as he finishes the last sentence he stutters a little bit from holding back from crying because he starts to think that you'll he mad at him and will break up with him. Pretty much all things bad, he's thinking them in that short time.

" oh my goodness sweetie. No no you didn't do anything wrong and I'm not mad at you one bit. I'm very impressed and love you even more. You know why my love? He looks at you with such a worried face, but it's going away slowly. He sniffles a little and says what? in such a small whisper. Fuck them. I've been wanting to do that for years but I've been to scared that the family I am on somewhat good terms with will hate me for it. So in other words.. Thank you for being my protector, my savior, my angel, my everything. I love you x infinity and beyond Fransisco Morales. " as you are saying the everythings part you're getting all teary eyed. Then when you say the I love you, you lean over and give him such a beautiful loving kiss to show him you aren't mad one bit and you love him so so much.

After you've kissed for a little while, Frankie breaks it and says; " you think they'll want me to come to Christmas with you? " you both start laughing hysterically.

" oh I bet so, you made such a great impression. " you say between giggles.

" hey. I love you endlessly and infinitely. You deserve so much love and people that love you and care about you. You are always gonna have a place with me and my family. Yeah it's just the boys, me, and Nola. But hey we make it work and you will always be safe with us.

Now, let's go back to the hotel and get some rest and we can leave in the morning. How's that sound mi cielito? " he says while looking into your eyes and holding your hands the whole time rubbing reassuring sweet circles. Then kisses both of them when he's done talking.

" how do you always know how to make me speechless mister? I don't even know what to say. But yes let's go get some rest and then go home my love. " you lean over to him again and give him a kiss on the cheek and then a deeper one on his lips.

The end for now. 💞

AN after reading: ok so. Continuation of what I changed and such.. The birthday things is actually true, she has always been like that. Everything is about her no matter what. I won't bore you with more details about her. I do truly wish I could stand up to her, yes she has great aunt qualities but her assholeness over powers it sooooo much.

The cemetery thing. I do want to do that one day, lol. The visiting a family friend part actually happened. The cemetery is just so sad looking and it made me upset that day. Wanted to go complain and ask for a job that day... 😆😆

This was really really therapeutic to do. I hope you guys liked it. 💞 I still am blown away that I decided to start writing and how much I've done. 🥂 here's to more adventures! 💞

This is not the end of this series. But I might take a break from it to work on some other ideas I got brewing. 💞 I just wanted to thank you all that have shown love this story and my work in general. It means the worldddd to me! 🥰 I'll never be as amazing as all of you, but I'm truly honored I get to be here to share and read these stories with you all. 💞

I do apologize that it is mostly from readers point of view, I didn't show an equal amount of Frankie's. But like I've said a million times.. 😆 this was me word vomiting in a therapeutic way.. 🙈💞

Taglist : @supernaturalgirl20 @heythere-mel @stxrrylunatic @prolix-yuy

If you'd like to be added or removed. Just shot me an ask or dm. 💞

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