#look idk it was like half an hour of sleep there isnt much time for world building lore

[zkretchy]

Sometimes you just gotta slam out something quickly in like an hour at 2am to show off what you dreamt about during your nap

[pasta-in-the-pudding]

This is random as shit but I think it’s funny 😭

Can I get some headcanons for Jeff, ben and Toby when their (Gn or masc) s/o is in the kitchen, just in the middle of the night, either staring off into nothing or walking in circles; I’m talking like- 3am, eating coco pops or smarties from the bag/box, walking around the room, staring at the floor. And their s/o being like.. ridiculously tired and still drinking redbull/Monster to keep them awake.

I’m autistic and I do it sometimes because idk?? But yeah this was a funny idea and your writing is great, so I’ve come to you! Don’t worry about these if you don’t wanna write them. Have a nice day/night :)

I'm so glad you like my writing! I do not have autism, but I do struggle with maladaptive daydreaming so, i demonstrate behaviors similar to this! I based some of the headcanons off of that so i hope it isnt too far off 😭 🙏

Thank you so much for requesting!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toby

Toby is up and down a lot during the night, so he'd probably run into you sometime during one of his many bathroom/snack runs

At first he thinks you're also on a snack run, but when he notices that you are just kind of...staring off into space he becomes suspicious

He steps closer to inspect your behavior, before shrugging and going along with it, grabbing his snack and heading back upstairs, and going back to bed

When he's in a trance like that, he usually doesn't like to be bothered, so he figured he'd just leave you to it

It's about an hour and a half later the next time he wakes up, he stretches, gets up, and walks downstairs

He still finds you there in the kitchen, completely intranced and still slowly eating your snacks

He puffs out his lips and tilts his head with a "hm."

He walks up to you and taps your shoulder, startling you a bit

"Sorry." He says, coming to place both hands on your shoulders "you've been here for over an hour, you ok?"

You nod and rub your eyes "yeah, sorry for worrying you" you say with a yawn

He smiles and kisses your forehead "it's ok, now that I know you're alright"

He takes your hands in his and pulls you towards him gently "now come back to bed, im touch starved" he says with a grin

Jeff

Jeff is a very light sleeper, so the second he feels you shifting away from him, he's up

By the time he rubs the sleep from his eyes, you are already out the door, leaving him slightly annoyed that you didn't notice him waking up with you

He throws on a shirt and walks down the stairs, seeing you pacing around with a bag of smarties in hand, eating them as your mind seemingly drifts off into space

He sighs and rubs his face some more, before walking up behind you and trapping you in a hug, placing three warm kisses to your shoulder "what are you doin' up this early loser?"

You exhale loudly and bring a hand up to rub his head "just....thinking..." you mutter

He kisses you again, this time on the cheek "alright, I'll quit buggin' you. Come back to bed soon, though. You know I can't sleep well without you"

He presses yet another kiss to your cheek, before letting go of you and going back upstairs

When you finally decide to head back upstairs yourself, you grab an energy drink so that maybe once jeff falls asleep again, you can come back downstairs and think some more

When you get back into the room, jeff is laying on the bed, seemingly asleep, until he notices your presence

He moves his head to look at you, before sitting up and stretching "pulling an all nighter, huh?" he asks, gesturing to the energy drink in your hands

You glance at it, before nodding "yeah, I guess so"

He sighs tiredly and yawns "alright, i reckon I'm staying up too, then" he says with a grin

BEN

BEN, having no need to sleep, rarely does so

He instead uses his nights to play video games or catch up on some work he fell behind

Tonight, when he had thought you'd fallen asleep, he got up and turned on his PC, pulling up steam and looking for a new game to play

While he was doing this, you got up and snuck out of the room, going downstairs to do your usual routine of just pacing around and staring into space

He plays his new game for quite a while, before getting bored and looking behind him to check on you

When he sees that you are not there, an eyebrow is raised

He pauses the game and gets up from his chair, looking around for you in various places you'd be in

He finds you in the gym, pacing around. He assumes you picked the gym because it's mostly empty, so you won't be disturbed

He walks over to you and steals a handful of your snacks "whatcha doing" he asks with his mouth full

"Thinking" you reply, not bothering to stop moving around

"Kay, well don't stay up too late, I wanna play animal crossing with you tomorrow" he says, squishing your face and kissing your squished up lips

He is about to go out of the gyms door before he pauses and looks back at you "also, bring me a soda once you're done" he then steps out, closes the door, and goes back upstairs

Hes such a little shit, i apologize for his behavior

[aroaceofthesea]

Anyways a bit of a recap of my life these last few weeks bc its crazy how much stuff ive done what do you mean its only the 14th of july it feels like summer should be ending soon and ive been very inactive on here:

Starting with sant joan lol (aka 24th of june) some friends came over and we hadnt really seen each other in a couple years (like yes but not really really like it was always super awkward but it was super cool this time😋😋)

Then the next day when they left one of my best friends came home too :) he was at the town next to mine and we spent the afternoon together :)

Then we did diving classes with my mom and also some family friends im now an open water diver that was pretty random ngl

Then after like. 2 days. chilling with just my mom (my sister was like 100% of the day every day with some friends that were around) some friends from a summer camp i did last year came over😋😋

They spent like 4 days i loved every day ngl we played cards a lot we went to the beach we did so many things how did we have time to play mao so much thats crazy lol (also so many crazy rules @ ppl that i know irl i have so many great rules to add when we play again weve gotta do iit)

When they left it was sad :( but i had no time to mope bc i had exactly 15 minutes at home so i kust took a shower and then went with another friend to canet rock (catalan music festival) it was super coool :) had the opportunity to see oques grasses live again♠️��� (though they didnt play bancals😭😭 one of my fave songs ever)(they have too many epic songs to play them all they need an extra hour at least ngl) anyways it was crazy loved almost all of it (not miki nuñez why did they put that guy in there) and yeah it was super cool

Then i went home arrived at like 9:15 am and proceeded to sleep almost 25h until 10 am the next day im told i missed a sushi lunch with family friends :(

The next day some friends were like who avalon :) so ofc i was like meee (usually during summer im not in the city but i was that say so ofc i was like i gotta go) (just so you gt an idea i couldnt talk like at all like half my sentences were whispered bc i had lost my voice at the festival and that game is like. you gotta talk or why are you playing lol) anyways luckily they guy i had gone with to the festival was also there and also couldnt talk so at least i wasnt alone😅😅

Then i was going back home and on the way home i met one of my only remaining childhood friends lol she went with me to elementary school (or idk what you call it until 6th grade whatever) and plays the trumpet with me and we spend a lot of the summer together and it was nice to see her she had also gone to that festival (its a very very popular festival and ppl my age could go basically for free so a lot of ppl went) and also had no voice lol but it was nice to see her

Then with my parents we went and had a pizza :)

Then i spent the week in barcelona (were talking about this week already) and tuesday a friend came over bc hes from outside but had a play in barcelona like every night that week (he plays the trombone hes reaaally good) so we spent the mornings together and then the afternoons he went there (i wish i could go they were playing with fucking dagoll dagom (catalan company that made famous musicals in catalan like mar i cel and they are closing the company this year😢😢) like hoow i wanna go😭😭)

Then friday i went to my summer home and there were my mom and also that friends brother and father lol so anyway weve spent the weekend together and it was rlly fun

And also like i was looking for cool concerts around here this summer bc festa major concerts are just 🔝🔝 you get to see your fave groups for free and like even if they are pretty popular when it isnt in a big town or a very well connected one maybe you have 100 or 200 ppl to very known bands like its crazy anyway i was checking (using the very efficient method of looking where each concert of each group was and putting it on google maps) and i was getting kinda depressed bc there werent any of the bands i like most and then i was like ok whatever lets check buhos AND THERE WAS ONE YESTERDAY (THE DAY I WAS LOOKING) AT LIKE 20 MINS so obviously we went and like even though i was basically alone (bc the guy i was with is like 14 and he knew some friends that were also close and went too so he spent most of the time with them and i didnt have any friends close) it was a buhos concert so obviously it was super cool also rlly cool bc they are like one of the only bands i like that didnt play at the festival from last week so rlly cool that ive gone to concerts of all my fave bands in just a week i love this (also i was like. 3 meters away from where the tahirt they threw fell😭😭 i wanted a buhos supporter tshirt thats sad)

OH ALSO yesterday too we went to the beach and we played volleyball with random ppl and it had been a whilr since we did that bc they usually see my sister who is very good and they are intimidated but my sister wasnt there so ppl kept coming and asking us to play (we have a net which is like telling ppl pls comee if youre less than like 7 or 8 ppl) and it was rlly fun (even though that one guy was very very annoying but the rest were rlly nice lol)

So yeah now you know basically everything about my life the last 3 weeks

[wolpatinga]

recipe:

ingredients:

1 large pumpkin (or perhaps two pie pumpkins or a can of pumpkin puree? i had about two cups of puree when i started. i hear pie pumpkins are sweeter, try those)

ground cinnamon

ground nutmeg

ground ginger

ground allspice

ground clove

vanilla extract

honey

two cups of milk

half pound of flour

two eggs

baking soda

1 cup of brown sugar

half cup of white sugar

probably would be good with walnuts or pecans? i didnt have any but nuts would be good if smashed into tiny pieces. add these in the "mad science" step

chocolate syrup

spiced dark rum (this might be optional. i have a problem)

steps:

take the pumpkin and cut it open. use a spoon or your hands to get all the orangey insides. separate the seeds. tray the seeds and put the pumpkin guts in a stockpot

nonoptional: carve the pumpkin with a silly face

heat the oven to 275 F and a stovetop burner to some low setting. stockpot of pumpkin guts go on the stovetop burner.

pour a shot of oil over the pumpkin seeds and salt (or a bbq rub or any savory spice mix ig?). roast the pumpkin seeds for ~10 min until they're dry and browner than before. eat those cause yummy and you've still got another four hours until you can stop baking for today

by now the pumpkin guts should be kinda mushy. take a masher (or a whisk or big spoon ig. i used a whisk cause im a dumbass) and beat the shit out of it. keep at this every fifteen minutes for two hours or so

by now, you're bored. time to get funky. in total, i added in 2 tsp ginger, 1 tsp clove, 3 tsp allspice, 2 tbs nutmeg, 4 tbp cinnamon, a quarter cup of honey, a cup of brown sugar, a half cup of white sugar, 1 tbp vanilla extract and a shot of chocolate syrup. play around with the numbers. i used too much cinnamon. add this stuff at will to the pumpkin guts, while the stuff is cooking over heat. add in via small batches, like a tbp or two at a time. have fun, you're doing mad science. it should get kinda dry, but the pumpkin juice from the cooking will wet it

by now it should be about three hours since you put the puree on. add in a half cup of milk, 2 tsp baking soda, more honey (2 tbp?) and the eggs. mix. then add the flour, then the rum (or something nonalcoholic like... apple cider? idk. something that sounds like it goes in this cacophony). add enough liquid that it has a liquidy batter like texture

put this shit into a deep pan. maybe a cake pan. maybe muffin tin. whatever you've got, but two inches deep or more. i made two loaves that will yield ~ 16 slices in total with my amounts

if it looks like vaguely brown slop, you're right

put it in the oven and bake for... an hour and a half? two hours? check it after an hour with a wooden toothpick, then keep going

i used far too much rum, and the cake took *ages* to solidify. i started this cake around 2 pm, and by 8:30 pm it was nearly tolerable

once the top feels like bread to the touch, drizzle that shit in more honey and put it back in for another hour. cry because your pumpkin cake isnt sweet and drown your tears in the remaining rum

take the cake out at your discretion. bastard cake. barely even cake. prepare one part milk, one part honey, mix, then sprinkle in whatever sugar you have. this is not icing. it is sweet milk

soak the cake. cry more. put it in the fridge and sleep

return to the cake a day later. it is done. serve with vanilla ice cream or whipped cream

so. ik you're not supposed to eat a carving pumpkin but i'll be damned if i don't try

[eligaxy]

Wind

☆ℜ𝔢𝔩𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫𝔰𝔥𝔦𝔭 : Venti x gn!Reader

☆𝔚𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰 : near death experience, you’re confused asf about everything, bad writing cause i suck, spoilers for the we will be reunited quest!! And also for venti’s backstory, venti is serious for once (yes it’s a legitimate warning🤚)

☆𝔊𝔢𝔫𝔯𝔢 : Some angst, some fluff? Idk bye🤨

☆𝔖𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶 : "It's okay, it's over now" he kneeled to be at your level, his arms still wrapped around you, and you didn't have the energy to fight your urge of nuzzling into him. "I'll always be here for you, wherever there is wind, remember I'm here too. You only need to ask." (2.8k words)

♪𝔑𝔬𝔱𝔢𝔰 : i’m an idiot simp, i did this in one sitting and half asleep, english isnt my first language BLA BLA IM SORRY FOR MY POOR WRITING BUT HAVE THIS

basically you don’t know if you can trust venti or not, head says no, heart screams yes

Also, I was listening to stormterror’s lair ost while writing it, just because its fucking amazing, you might wanna listen to it too

I’m nervous to post this?/&:! This is the second fic i’ve ever finished in my whole life

i love venti and he’s hot in his god outfit i don’t make the rules

KAY ENJOY <3

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

"Please, anybody... Just help me."

Saying you were exhausted would have been an understatement. After reuniting with your sibling, you had been frantically searching for clues about khaenri'ah and ways to Inazuma. With no luck, you couldn't find any traces of Dainsleif or of your twin. The ruins had been sealed and you had no idea what happened to the inverted statue or the corpse you had found there. Desperately, you clung into every little information you had, you would have turned every rock on this archon damned continent if you had to, which is what led you into those ruins near Guilli plains.

Walking along the destroyed buildings your eyes caught sight of a dandelion and you froze. You missed them so much, why couldn't they go back home with you? All you ever wanted was to be by their side why, why were they running away from you?

You remembered your travels, the moments you shared together, their protectiveness over you, the fondness in their eyes when you smiled at them. You remember the times you got hurt and healed one another with your now missing powers. You remember sleeping by their side and being grateful to the universe to let you keep your ray of sunshine everywhere with you. How ironic.

What had they meant 'once you reach the end of your journey' ? What does that even mean? Stupid twin, if they knew you were here the whole time, why hadn't they come to you? Why were they always leaving just when they were within your grasp? Why? Did they know how much you missed them and how much your heart broke when you finally saw them? Did they?

You only realized you were crying when a small gust of wind had your wet cheek react to the cold, breaking your train of thought. Wind.

The wind is everywhere, you think, free as a bird, always accompanying every citizen of this world, never truly alone. With this in mind, you resumed your exploring, slower this time.

A sigh escaped your mouth. You didn't want to admit it, but the wind did comfort you a little. Almost as if he was here. God of freedom and of the breeze, he was more a singer than a protector and you couldn't bear to think about him. Was it true? What Dain said... Did he destroy this nation? Was he the cause of the scenery that still haunted your nightmares up until 500 years later? Your brain simply couldn't accept that Venti, your Venti, you catch yourself thinking, could have made such an act of wrath. He was the epitome of freedom, why would he take the very thing he based all of his existence on from mere mortals? Barbatos simply couldn't be afraid of being overpowered, he didn't even care about power. All he wanted was freedom and happiness for his people. Surley this couldn't be right?

But then again, who were you to deny the wipe out of an entire nation? The gods did it. They were afraid that Celestia would be overthrown by the pride of humankind, the destruction of khaenri'ah by divine beings was a fact. There was no misunderstanding about this. That was the one thing you were sure of. So why did you feel like crying even more now?

The mere thought of a gentle soul such as Venti committing innocent people to an eternity of suffering didn't sit right with you. Even when his dearest friend Dvalin had turned against him, he didn't try to stop him, didn't even ask the dragon to save him. He healed and helped him, gave him a choice.

'What is freedom if demanded of you by a god?' was the same person that asked this question the same one who committed mass murder? Genocide?

Did the little wine-lover bard you had grown fond of destroy all hopes and light your kin had?

You remember that night when he freed Stanley from his burden, freed his and his friends' spirits. You had marveled at his action, in that instant he was a god, and he definitely hadn't struck you as a murderer. You remember that look of silent pain and grief in his eyes when he sang the tales of the nameless bard he had taken the appearance of. You knew he trusted you enough to share his story, something so personal, you could almost feel the war that took down the tyrant of Mond. Oh how much you cherished that evening, treating him to some well deserved dandelion wine afterwards, his favorite, and asking him to sing you more about the time where was nothing but the spirit of a breeze.

Your heart broke a little, remembering his rosy cheeks and drunk smile, you wish you could talk to him, ask him what happened. What did he do, was he really as dangerous as you had been told? If so, then why did you feel so good around him? Why did you feel like you could give hi-

You stopped walking upon seeing a ruin guard up ahead in the distance. You're so stupid, you think. Feeling this way is not gonna get you anywhere, especially with how the bard had been missing for a few weeks now. Ever since you had last seen your sibling.

Where was he, where was he wandering off to? You walk towards the disabled ruin guard, not really paying any mind to it, still thinking about the god you longed to meet with. If you could see him, what would you even say? Would he even answer your questions? Why did your stomach feel so light and funny when you thought about seeing him, why aren't you angrier?

You're almost at the killing machine's level now, so lost in your thought you don't notice the five other similar robots hidden behind a wall next to it. You notice them only when it's too late and you've already turned them on while thinking about examining them and collecting their serial numbers. When you hear the familiar tick of the mechanism turning on, you internally panic and think about running away only to calm down moments later and think to yourself that you can simply beat it and take what you came here for. Even if you are emotionally and physically tired, you can manage, you think.

That was before hearing five other consecutive ticks right after it, and all around you.

Turning around, your gaze falls upon the small army of field tillers. Fuck.

Paimon wasn't with you today, you had asked for some time alone which she hesitantly accepted, so you couldn't ask her to go fetch help. You would have been worried if you had all your capacities but with the state you were in, you were wondering how you were going to survive this fight. You were alone, none of your companions with you, and deeply weakened by the busy day you had and the few hours of sleep you had managed to steal away from the night. Was it today you would meet your doom, with all your questions and uncertainties unanswered?

You tried your best to fight with the strength you had left, but quickly grew desperate after what felt like hours of efforts to swing your blade and being able to only take one monster down out of the six. It didn't help that you got injured along the way, their blows becoming harder and harder to dodge. After being thrown on the grown for the third time, you understood you had at least two broken ribs and that your shaking legs would soon fail you as well.

Fear crept upon you, you would die here today, alone. Alone. You couldn't talk to your sibling after all, couldn't understand. You didn't even get to talk to him one last time. Him... You would die without the knowledge of the truth about your bard. You would die alone. You didn't want that, you couldn't look death straight in the eye.

"Please, anybody... Just help me."

-

In Mondstadt, there was a musician, a weird singer everyone had heard about at least once. He lived off of his songs and was mostly known for having a great story-telling and being an alcoholic.

The number of people who knew the true nature of his identity were few and he was perfectly content with that. He didn't wish to be a god anymore, his gnosis had been taken away anyway and it's not like he had any power over the city of wind nowadays. Even if his people still worshipped him as Barbatos, it didn't sit right with him to be called a god anymore. It actually never did, he thinks to himself with a smile, he never really took any responsibilities that came with the divine title which is why he was so weak today. But it didn't matter to him, his smile turns into a soft giggle.

Sitting on a mill that was once born from his steps he looks fondly over the city he founded. Even if they were godless, the citizens were still thriving and free. He cared oh so very deeply about the place even if he rarely, if not never, showed the affection within his heart. He remembers the day he grew strong enough to dispel the storms over his actual Mondstadt, and made the weather gentle enough so that there was no need for fireplaces. Nowadays, he loves watching birds nest into the chimney tops and seeing them found their own home. It gave him a sense of belonging like no other, not above his people, but walking among them and watching them nest into this cocoon he created. He was proud of what happened to his land and would do it all over again if he had to.

Especially since it led to him meeting you. This thought doesn't catch him off guard, you often roamed around in his mind after all, and it's not like he didn't write at least three songs about you and your feat, your smile, your courage...

Ah there he goes again, rambling about you in a whisper. He turns around to the statue of him his people erected in his honor, chuckling at how they never made the connection with his signature braids. His, but not really his, since he had stolen this form from someone who was much more deserving of this power than him. Seeing his friend being honored with the statues of the seven around the land made him happy, he hoped that it was a good enough thank you gift in return for everything that the bard whom he couldn't even remember the name of anymore did for him.

Upon gazing at the statue, he remembered telling you of his long gone friend. It was the first time he had talked about him to someone else, he didn't even mention it to Venessa, she who made him believe in himself again. He could ask himself why, but he simply knew that you had something different, more than meets the eye. Perhaps it was because you weren't from Teyvat, or perhaps it was just you being as simple as your natural self but he was simply and utterly captivated by your being. You inspired him to no end, at first he thought it was because he had never met someone like you and he loved new things! But as time grew and he got to know you, he understood quickly the meaning and depth of his passions. He thought of it with a light chuckle, content with your presence alone. He really did need and want you around.

So why did he purposely avoid you like the plague?

The wind had brought to his ears that you had met with Dainsleif.

And your twin.

His first reaction was to search for you, talk to you, he wanted to be here to know what happened! You had searched so long, he couldn't contain himself, still listening to what the wind told him, he started running with excitement but... But wait, Dainsleif was... He told you what?

Oh.

So you heard about Khaenri'ah. He had stopped dead in his tracks and turned back, only sending a warm current of wind your way, hugging you from afar.

He wasn't ready to talk about this yet, not ready to face you and absolutely not ready to answer your questions. He was a coward, he thought, running away like that but what else could he do, really. It was only natural for him to be as uncatchable as air.

A sorry excuse to avoid the fact that even if his past had marvelous story like the one of the nameless bard, it also had its share of darkness, something he wasn't ready to dive back into. Especially not now when your arrival has been shaking this world up like it hasn't been since at least 500 years.

But oh, how he longed to see your face or to hear your voice. So he asked a breeze to report to him what you were up to, and where you were. Just in case! he tells himself, what if you needed help ehe? But he knows you're competent and you won't need the help of a weakling coward like him anytime soon. Or so he thought.

Because when the breeze only gives him a few words back, his blood runs cold.

"Please, anybody... Just help me."

-

As you murmured these words in your desperate state, not really for anyone but yourself as a last resort, a prayer of some sort, you tried to stand by leaning yourself on your sword and failing miserably. You didn't dare look up as you heard the loud footsteps of the metal giants coming your way. It was over, and you barely managed to accept it.

As you rested your forehead against the cold handle of your sword, you closed your eyes, tears starting to make their ways out of your closed eyelids. All you could feel was remorse.

A soft breeze moved your hair slightly and your chest felt like a black hole had taken place where your heart used to be, regretting to not have been able to meet him under the tree at Windrise one last time.

The breeze quickly grew stronger, until it felt unnatural and you looked up from the ground, only to close your eyes again immediately when you realized the wind was too powerful for you to keep them open. If you had struggled to see though, you would have been blinded by the white light that soon illuminated the whole ruins. You didn't have enough time to register the situation when you felt a hand being laid atop your shoulder, snaking around your collarbones and pulling you back into... nothing? Another arm circled your weak form and a voice you immediately recognized said

"I've dealt with things worse than you, now crumble."

You realized that if you couldn't feel a chest behind you while still being embraced by his arms, it was because he was floating above you, and not standing behind you. A look in his direction confirmed your suspicions but what stunned you wasn't the fact that he was flying, but the attire he wore. Barely covering his body, a white set made of materials that seemed like clouds and liquid gold contrasted perfectly with his regular green clothes. His hair was glowing green and his eyes that were focused on the ruin guards up ahead had a marvelous shine that you had never seen before. He had that same aura he did the night he freed Stanley, but there was also something different about the way his hands gripped you a little too tightly or the way his voice sounded.

"Venti.." You muttered his name, relief and affection flooding you all at once, in his presence you felt as if nothing bad could happen to you. How foolish could you be, just a few hours ago you were speculating wether or not he had wiped out an entire civilisation and now here you were, being saved by him and feeling safer than you had in months.

"Close your eyes, I don't want give you a headache" he said, slowly floating legs first towards the ground. His unusually serious voice surprised you (and him) but you did as he told you. Letting go of your sword and leaning back into him, you let him deal with the monsters ahead of you.

"It's okay, it's over now" he kneeled to be at your level, his arms still wrapped around you, and you didn't have the energy to fight your urge of nuzzling into him. "I'll always be here for you, wherever there is wind, remember I'm here too. You only need to ask."

Being protected by a god really didn't feel that bad. Especially when you were in love with said god.

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

Thank you so much for reading whatever this is until the end :’)

Don’t hesitate to comment or reblog, tysm <3

Ps: venti loves u and so do i do pls take care of urself mwah

[gaming-thoughts-by-an-idiot]

"Draugen" Game (part 1)

"Ooo norway"

"Oooo fjords"

"Ah!! AH! MY CITY, THEYRE TALKING ABOUT MY CITY"

"This is very nice, I like the aesthetic"

Game: lead character artist "Hans Christian Andersen"

Me: isnt he dead?

"Unless someone just took snippets from his stories or idk tbh, I cant remember reading much from him... maybe I should"

"Who is Lissie?"

"The main character, Edward, hes like old or more like 40 maybe? Idk, but he have to rest up hills and I honestly judged him, as if I dont have to stop several times too and hold my fucking inhaler in case my lungs decide to test me"

"Oh... ooh no... the flag is half mast.. hehe. That means someone is dead"

"Haha I can see her, but he had to rest"

Lissie: seriously?

Edward, through his teeth: you're not the one who's carrying a f-... suitcase

"Good save"

"Okay so Lissie is 17, so maybe shes his kid?"

"I fucked with the gamma, and theres no reset, and I cant remember if this is how it was oh no help"

"His name is-- A I GOT AN ACHIEVEMENT "

"His name is Mr. Harden"

"Damn, twins marrying twins... odd"

"Is that odd? I feel like that might be? Weird? Idk is it? AAA my head"

"AALESUND"

"Love it when people say it like that, beautiful"

"ITS SO DARK"

"I WANT TO BE ABLE TO SEE"

"ooo, a sailor ship chest thing... I got one of those"

"Okay I think Lissie is his kid"

"We found his sister's scarf, he got super dizzy, he had to take a nap"

"Poor guy"

"Uh oh... child gone"

"OH MY GOD JUMP SCARE"

"IT WAS BETTY IN THE WINDOW"

"OH JESUS MY HEART"

"Yeah the clock is definitely broken, it was 12:45 when he took a nap too, so unless its close to midnight?"

"You didnt even LOOK in the kitchen, u opened it and went OH ALRIGHT NOTHING HERE fucking idiot"

"JUST GO UPSTAIRS AND CHECK FOR FUCKS SAKE"

"I wonder if we're actually gonna see draugen"

"Oo muddy"

"What if draugen is scary"

"Who the fuck is Alice?"

"I gotta google this"

"Okay so Lissie is Alice... and Lissie is not his kid. And apparently Edward is 'young'... this is confusing"

"Oooh, he slipped and fell down rocks, ouch"

"Lissie is still missing"

"A lobster trap"

"Lissie! I found her"

"Our boat is gone"

"Back to the house, get cleaned up, and sleep... let's see what happens"

"Google said the game takes about 3 hours, which is good, cuz my sister is back after that, and she havent played the game yet"

"I can explore upstairs yass"

"Oo piano"

"Draugen waltz.. nice"

"Oh! I got an achievement for playing the piano- OMG A 100??? HOLY SHIT"

"Damn... norway is so beautiful"

"I cant believe I thought he was like 40, how embarrassing"

"Asdfghjkl Norwegian letters and an American trying to say 'vi er desperate' I'm sobbing, oh my god"

"On the door it says "forræder" which means Traitor."

"So the kids died, and it's a curse, god left the land etc etc... wtf wtf someone is knocking on a wall or window in the game"

"I'm reading old Norwegian, game, stop"

"Oh, house creaking, not knocking "

"Just walk inside the houses? Maybe they're hiding behind the doors"

"Out to explore!"

"I'm completely lost in the game, half thoughts"

"Its so interesting, and fun to hear someone try to read Norwegian is always funny"

"I'm scared of draugen tho... like I wanna go 'haha mythical being lmao'... but the kids are gone, killed... draugs steal kids... I'm just saying I might cry if I see it"

"Alright, I've done loads since I wrote so let's do a summary:

The child, Ruth, died, they think her cousin did it. The cousin left shortly after the kid died- the official story is she fell and cracked her skull open on some rocks.

Edward is OBSESSED with his sister, one random noise and hes like 'Betty???'

Ruth apparently went exploring in the mine, found treasure, Edward read about Draugen in a book, it's a man thing without a face, visit u in your dreams, and if u wake you're lucky, but someone near u will die.

Everyone is gone, a man was found, he hung himself.

Twin brothers were very angry, and now the church bells are ringing. And I'm running to it"

"So googled and draugen is a dude who's thirsty for women and children, the one I was picturing Nøkken, and that's a swamp woman so"

"Lissie was a personality thing, not real, then a weeping angel suddenly appeared??? And then they disappeared... Betty was apparently on her way to the mine, hes now around the mine.

He also found Anna, the mom to Ruth, and the dad went to his brother and now I'm in the mine."

"BUT my sister is back and I cant spoil the game soo"

[satoruvt]

for a moment i forget to worry

pairing → xu minghao x reader

word count → 3196

genre → fluff + angst, college au ↳ tags: strangers to friends to lovers </3, college kinda sux, ROOMMATE CHAN MAKES AN APPEARANCE OR TWO, dance major minghao, reader is completely lost but its ok who isnt, lots of cute couple stuff, pov ur entire relationship with minghao. thats it, a sad break up scene, a solid amount of crying

summary → there’s something about minghao. maybe it’s the way he dances, vibrant and youthful, or maybe it’s the way he loves you. based off of hunger by florence + the machine.

warnings → i hint at sex but its pretty vague, i also mention a breakdown type deal (revolving around school/life after school)

a/n → first of all this was NOT supposed to be 3k words i dont know how it happened. second of all i’m only kind of happy with this HAHA i feel like the story itself isnt bad but i wanted it to match the song more ... idk :/ i hope u guys like it regardless !!!

pieces of you masterlist

The first time you see him is by accident.

Really - all you’re doing is trying to find Chan. You’re passing by the practice rooms, looking into them in hope he’ll be there, stopping to gaze at decorations and medals and trophies lined up on the walls. It’s when you approach a room that music plays from that you think you’ve found Chan, but when you gaze in, it’s definitely not him.

You don’t know who it is, but he moves like nothing you’ve ever seen before.

It’s hypnotizing, almost makes you want to drop your things and dance with him. There’s a sense of youth that comes from him and it’s almost overwhelming - but it’s not in energy, necessarily, but rather from the precision of his movements, the technicalities that he seems to both follow and break at the same time. Something vibrant seeps out between the seams of his body, colors you can barely recognize as they splash against anything they can reach. It’s almost tangible. 

You watch him long enough for him to finish his performance (an unknowing one) with the last notes of a song you forgot was even playing. His eyes meet with yours, slow as he completes an eloquent turn, and at the same time, a hand meets your shoulder.

A small wave of embarrassment washes over you, and you turn towards whoever touched you, effectively breaking eye contact. “What are you doing here?” Chan asks, hair still wet from what you assume was a shower.

“Looking for you,” you tell him, following as he starts to walk towards the exit. “I wanted lunch, and you owe me for that time I took your British literature quiz for you.”

Chan groans but agrees to pay, and you laugh, though the world seems a little paler than it did a few moments ago.

The second time you see him is by chance.

(Maybe.)

You’re waiting for a lecture to start, tapping your fingers against your laptop idly as you watch students trickle in last minute. It’s not a strict course, but it does start at nine in the morning, and most everyone shows up with a coffee.

You look down to brush a stray hair off of your table, and when you look up again, the dancer from before walks through the door, then looks right at you.

You feel a blush heat your face and it’s like he wants to make sure that you know that he knows, because he almost refuses to look away. You break eye contact first (like the last time, you remember for no reason) but still watch as his figure moves up the stairs, past the rows, and you hope he’ll just move past you too…

He doesn’t. He takes the empty seat right next to yours, and you don’t say anything, instead finding the peeling sticker on your laptop incredibly interesting. The professor comes in and decides that today he’ll take extra long to set everything up, apparently, and you want to scream.

“So,” the dancer says, voice quiet. It takes your breath away, the way he sounds. “Mind if I ask why you were watching me the other day?”

You cast a glance at him - not too long, you don’t think you could handle more than five seconds tops - and finally open your laptop so it makes you look busy. “I was waiting for a friend.”

“And?”

The smile in his voice is palpable. You’re already exasperated.

“You…” you start, finally deciding to look at him as some sort of subconscious power move. “You’re a beautiful dancer. It was hard not to watch.”

Beautiful doesn’t even cover half of it, but you figure he already thinks you’re weird for watching him, so you hold back the thoughts of youth and vibrancy and color. The dancer looks at you, almost blank for a moment, before a soft smile draws itself on his face. It makes your heart beat a little faster. He says “thank you” with a gentle tone, sincerely felt.

The class starts, and the two of you don’t speak throughout the next hour and a half. You type out notes on your laptop and you see him write down names of the paintings being shown on the projector, little thoughts and notes written afterwards.

By the end of class, your professor assigns an optional partnered project, and you’re more than prepared to head back to your apartment and start on it yourself. The dancer stops you before you leave, however, asks if you’d like to be his partner.

(And he says it like that, would you like to be my partner, polite and somehow sweet.)

You know your answer. “I don’t even know your name,” you stall, standing from your chair. 

“Minghao,” he tells you. “I’m Minghao, and I’d like for you to be my partner.”

You say yes easily, put your number into his contacts even easier. The sky is blue when you leave the lecture hall, trees dotted with pink and purple flowers, and it is all so bright that you forget it wasn’t this way in the first place.

The third time you see him is for school.

Underneath the excitement of giving Minghao your number, there is the knowledge that it’s for the sake of an assignment. He texts you the day after to ask if you’re free to meet up to work and you tell him sure.

(Sure is what you send back, but he doesn’t have to know that you burst into Chan’s room immediately after, plunging face first into his bed just to scream into his pillows. Chan had sighed, turned around in his desk chair to look at you, then asked what happened. He gave you two minutes to rant and then kicked you out, back to your own room.)

You and Minghao agreed to meet at the library on a day that neither of you had any afternoon classes, and you get there early, spend some time working on other classes. You have somewhere around thirty minutes to freak out to yourself before you see Minghao come in, dressed like he knows what he’s doing to you (which is really just a hoodie and jeans, but you think it’s the cap that really pulls the whole boyfriend look together), smiling when he finds you at a table in the corner.

“How are you?” is the first thing he says when he sits down, and you pull down your laptop screen a little to see him better.

“I’m good,” you say, feeling your heart pound. “What about you?”

Minghao sends you a kind smile. “Really good. Should we get started?”

You lose count of how many times you see him after that.

Meeting up to work on the project soon becomes just meeting up, and after the project’s done and turned in, it happens even more. You hang out and get lunch, send each other texts and stupid videos, take walks around campus together. The weeks pass, summer mellows into fall, then into the early days of winter. You develop a genuine friendship with him, finding comfort in his presence, looking for him wherever you go. 

(Although the crush is still there, potent and patient, stubborn in a way you’ve never experienced before. You wonder if it’s a sign of some sort.)

You’re in one of the practice rooms with him, sitting in the corner. You had a class nearby and he’d wanted to practice a little more, so you told him you’d work on your own stuff while he finished up and then the two of you could grab something to eat.

But you made a small error on your part - the dancing. You’d forgotten the way he moves (you haven’t seen him dance since that first time) and in no time at all you’re letting your screen go dark in front of you and watching him. Honestly, it’s not your fault, you really can’t help it. 

But of course he notices.

Minghao meets your eyes through the mirror and raises his eyebrows at you, and all you can do is look away, desperately try to get your laptop up and running again so at least it seems like you weren’t watching him for too long.

“You’re staring,” he says, long after you’ve looked away.

“Sorry,” you tell him anyways, immediate, quick. 

Then he says, “I never said anything about stopping.”

In a second, you look up from your laptop and up at him. He moves closer, crouches in front of you. His eyes are kind - they’re never not - but you think you see something a little more in them. “Sorry, I think I missed that last part,” you respond, blinking. Minghao smiles like you’re endearing.

“I said I want you to keep looking at me.”

You think you’re barely breathing when he shuts your laptop for you, slides it off of your lap and onto the floor (gently, with care, and it’s a wonder to you how he can focus on that right now). He practically crawls over you, one of his hands eventually reaching the junction of your jaw and neck and holding there. “I’m gonna kiss you now, if that’s okay,” he says, but doesn’t move. You nod as soon as his words reach your brain, eager and quick.

And the next few hours get a little wound up in your head, a little mixed in with the feeling of his body - that moves so youthfully, with so much vibrancy that it reaches everything around you - melting into yours and the sound of him asking you to tell me what you need, honey, and the still-playing slow jam music he was practicing to.

You watch him sleep next to you, hand curled around yours against his pillows, and think that nothing bad could ever touch him.

The two of you… come together, after that.

Neither you nor Minghao use any proper labels, but you both seem to know. No labels are needed, really. You have each other and that’s all there is to it. And everything is really good.

You work together and laugh together like you’ve always known each other. He tries to teach you to dance with him when you’re in the practice room with him, pulls you up by your hands and guides you through your giggles. He was the first person you called when you realized that you had no idea what you were working towards, didn’t have a clue what you actually wanted to do with your life. He gets along well with your friends and you text his because they’re basically yours, now, too.

Winter turns back into spring, slow and easy. Vibrant and youthful. You’re not able to meet Minghao’s parents, but he meets yours (and you’re sure a quick introduction to his mom over a FaceTime call has to count for something). The two of you take advantage of the newfound warmth of the season and try to get out as much as you’re able to, with picnics and city dates and anything you can think of. A drawer in his dresser is reserved for your things, you bought an extra toothbrush for him to use when he stays over.

You watch him dance. It still feels like the first time, like color and breathlessness. You tell him he’s beautiful every time, feel yourself fall a little deeper when he still gets bashful amidst his comedown. You tell him you love him for the first time after he gets done with a performance - a proper one, for a showcase of the dance club he’s in. He says it back.

You think he put all the stars in the sky just for the two of you to gaze at them together.

Things shift the beginning of your junior year.

Minghao tells you about a program he’s applying to, a proper dance academy in New York that could really kickstart his career. Training under some of the best choreographers and performers in the world.

��Why are you looking at me like that?” You ask him after he tells you, and he shrugs, leaning back in his chair. You’re studying at his apartment tonight.

“It’s just…” he frowns. “It’s so far away, you know?”

Oh. You hadn’t even thought about that, too caught up in the excitement of him being able to apply at all. A quick sigh leaves your lips, and then you reach for his hand, hold it between both of your own.

“That’s okay,” you tell him, though now that you’re thinking about it, you feel nervousness in the pit of your stomach. “We can work something out, though, when we get that far. We’ll figure it out.”

Minghao nods, a fond look in his eyes. He pulls one of your hands to his lips. “We’ll think about it if I even get accepted,” he says.

It’s bittersweet, but a promise nonetheless.

Fifteen minutes after you get a call from Minghao, there’s a knock on your door. 

You wouldn’t necessarily say you’re worried, but, well. Everyone’s experienced the jump of anxiety when they get hit with the “I want to talk to you about something” line. Nonetheless, you stand from the couch to open the door, mentally preparing yourself for any and everything. 

“Hey,” you greet when you see Minghao, opening the door to let him in. His face is unreadable. “Everything okay?”

He walks a few steps into your apartment, waits for you to close the door before turning back around to face you. Then he holds up a piece of paper, the creases from where it was folded still bending. You send him a confused look.

“I got in,” he says, a grin breaking on his face, and you blink, then feel your jaw practically hit the floor. Minghao only nods like he understands, and before you know what you’re doing, you launch yourself at him, holding him close.

“Oh my god, Hao, that’s amazing,” you say into his sweater, then step back to get a proper look at him. Youthful, vibrant. “I’m so proud of you.”

He seems to soften at your words, pulls you back into him again with a gentle kiss to your head. “Thank you for believing in me,” he tells you, tenderness palpable in his voice. All you can do is squeeze him tighter.

Minghao spends a lot of time away from you after that.

You’re not really hurt in any way - even though he got into the academy in New York, he still has to practice. You get it, this is important. He doesn’t text you as often, isn’t able to stop by as much, and you miss him, but you know how much this means for him. But it gets… weird, almost, after a while. Strange, even for him. It feels weird that he’s set to leave at the end of January and it’s December and he’s distant.

Both of you are laying in your bed, looking at the glow-in-the-dark stars on your ceiling, when you decide to bring it up. “You’ve been… kinda far away lately,” you start, nudging him with your shoulder gently. “Everything okay?”

His eyes stay on your ceiling, but you feel the way he sighs. “It’s about the program,” he says.

“Okay.”

“And about… you and me.”

Oh. That doesn’t… sound the best. “About, like… what we’re gonna do?”

Minghao nods.

You say, “I wouldn’t mind visiting every so often. It’d be hard, but I’m sure we could find something to work.”

Minghao shakes his head, says, “no.”

You pause, and when you look at him he’s already looking at you. What does he mean by no? Does he want you to move with him? Or does he -

He reaches for your hand and you think oh.

His eyes are a little glassy. You feel the tears come, too.

“Oh,” you say out loud. Minghao squeezes your hand. “So this is… this is it?”

Your room is suddenly cold, and you want to crawl under the covers and stay there. The person in front of you is blurred into something unrecognizable, but you can’t be bothered to blink away your tears.

“I think so, love,” he whispers back to you. “I think it has to be.”

The two of you cry like that for a while. In your bed, loosely intertwined and broken. Even the way Minghao cries carries a kind of vibrancy that’s overwhelming, makes you think of the first time you saw him so long ago, and now -

When you manage to get a better grip on yourself, you ask him if you can still see him off at the airport. He says, “I don’t know what I’d do if you didn’t.”

Then you ask if you can kiss him again. He responds by kissing you first. 

And it’s sad, it tastes like salt and sorrow and you feel like the promises you never got the chance to make are broken. It feels like the most beautiful blue you’ve ever seen, and you know it’s only a branch of Minghao’s color.

He leaves soon after that, pulls on his shoes and his coat and turns around at the door to give you a tired smile. After he’s gone, you drag yourself to Chan’s bedroom, and once he sees the state you’re in, he offers up one side of his bed. Neither of you say anything, but the friendly reassurance of his hand in yours says enough.

You don’t fail to notice that everything seems to be washed out, a blandness you’re not used to.

The last time you see him is at the airport.

It’s a cold day, despite being sunny. The airport offers little warmth, but you figure it doesn’t matter. You won’t be here for long. 

It doesn’t take you very long to find Minghao - you still look for him wherever you go, even if you’re not looking for him. Even then, it’s still so easy for you to find him, to pinpoint that vibrancy, that youth. He’s talking to a few others, you think you met them. Soonyoung and Jun.

Minghao meets your eyes and you freeze, but then he waves you over with a gentle smile. You follow like you think you always will. 

You greet Soonyoung and Jun and the four of you talk, albeit a little awkwardly, even when Soonyoung tries his hardest to lighten the mood. Eventually he has to leave, and Jun follows with a shy goodbye. They both hug Minghao before they go.

You’re not sure what to say, but after a minute, you find words. “I don’t know what I’ll do without you,” you tell him, a little selfishly. 

Minghao says, “you’ll do good. I know you will. I’m not worried about you.”

He pulls his phone out of his pocket to check the time, and you think he’ll give you a stiff and sad goodbye, but he steps a little closer to you. Looks at you the way he used to.

“Maybe…” he starts, then pauses. “Maybe we’ll meet again.”

Maybe, you think. Maybe.

“I hope so,” you tell him, then watch as he leaves.

[parismemes]

THINGS I’VE SAID ON DISCORD (OCTOBER EDITION) AS SENTENCE STARTERS.

“tell me everythng.” “HEHEHEHEHEHEHE” “i have read every single one of them and do not intend to stop” “i on principle only like songs that go hard” “I DIDNT THINK IT WAS GOING TO BE THAT SAD WHAT THE FUCK” “heehoo. water boy.” “why i always sleep through this shit i hate it here” “gacha games count as gambling” “im also there. im laughing” “u r doing so much math and im just like hehe money” “what the fuck what the fuck NOOO what the fuck im dfgjhhfjgdhjfgkjdkghjd” “what a traumatic backstory” “I CAN SEE YOU READING MY MESSAGES IM GONAN GET FINESSED OUT THE FUCKIN WINDOW“ “THAT’S not good!” “if hes a fraid of dogs that sounds like a him problem” “i honestly deserve recognition for the absolute shit i just pulled off” “YES FUCK YEAH YEAH YEAH HELL YEAH FUCK YEAH HELL FUCKIN YEAH WOOOOOOOOO YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!” “why the fuck would you want that” “yeah hes my only one true love” “by a few i of course mean like 600″ “no one fucking appreciate me” “thank you ___ for being the only person who appreciate me” “i reveal it in pieces and make you put it together like a puzzle” “im smart and never regret it“ “see, i just dont think thats right” “i will continue dangling it in front of your face like a scientist dangling bait in front of a fish (who is also in a maze)” “hes actually like an absolute fucking nerd a complete fool a fucking dumbass” “sorry your message glitched and i cannot read. anyway back to my leverage over you which is forcing you into a corner,” “it's not extortion because i don't know what extortion means” “why do they talk like exes. its because they are exes” “TIME SENSITIVE QUESTION PLEASE RESPOND” “he's a content creator he'll be fine” “what does this mean? but yes” “NICE NICE NNICE NICE NICE NICE NICE NICE NICE NICE NICE” “for future record ___ just used the word poggers” “look at all these fuckin blondes” “its only been like a week and a half at most” “hes doing it out of affection” “ISNT THIS THE FUNNIEST SHIT YOUVE EVER SEEN” “you are terrible and also the worst” “i was going to send it at midnight but i got distracted trying to figure out the most barebones way to say happy birthday without sounding weird” “do you think i get punished more or less if i do sins” “i dont think the sins count as extra points if you commit them on the way to hell” “run over pedestrians” “i am slowly descending into insanity today, as a hobby” “you are a shit boy. a little shit boy go eat boxes“ “it's ok. we can figure it out later” “i didnt notice at first but it is in fact All The Fuck Over” “ITS BEEN OVER 12 HOURS” “hey guys just turns out we might have a ✨ gas leak ✨” “im sure if we put our braincells together we can figure SOMETHING out” “curious georg” “thank god. i could and would have argued this for several hours” “i think the worst thing ive heard today is someone calling the movie enchanted a reverse isekai” “i should not and will not stop” “i was RIGHT AHHAHAHAHAHAGAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA” “that wasnt a question you read it wrong” “i have no idea who this is but that wont stop me” “THIS MAN REALLY SAID HEAD EMPTY WHAT IS MONEY” “sometimes i say things and its best to just pretend you know what i mean” “WOT THIS” “I DONT WANT PEE ON MY BED“ “tired of all these stupid fuckin plants” “could you even really consider jelly filled donuts donuts?” “actually everything is real” “if you eat cereal for dinner, you're not having fucking breakfast” “i think my in real life superpower is that i have freakishly fast metabolism” “i dont care if you are evil you are MY TYPE” “you dirty criminal” “is a dessert item a dessert if it isn't eaten after dinner? discuss” “ok im done for the Right Now” “found a concerning orb. in the sky.” “HOW DID YOU KILL THEM” “why do i do this to myself why do i keep doing this” “the only simp here is me” “I No Longer Wish To Know!“ “DID THEY JUST END AN ENTIRE SPECIES” “WE ARE DETERMINED” “this is also really funny by virtue of the fact that these people are all fucking british” “they throw rocks at me and say we want the himbo” “THE CONTEXT IS IMPORTANT HERE” “its something that i SPECIFICALLY am passionate about” “hanburnger?” “thats just what living with siblings is like” “howd she get there? fuckin beats me dude idk” “i remember everything i am like a shark with an abnormally good memory” “i am sorry that you are predictable” “Hey Guys, Just Checkiing In To Make Sure You Got My Joke, Just Making Sure, I Just Wanted To Check In And See If You Got The Joke, Because I Was Afraid You Wouldnt Get It, So Im Just Checking In,” “i marked your worm” “what are you gonna do. unsend whatever you send me? i am Shaking in my fuzzy socks rn” “you Know i hate the idea of being wrong” “You Did Not Need To Stroke His Ego” “i am too stupid to live and if i was not vaccinated my genes would have no chance of being passed on because i would be dead” “~the oldest anarchy server in minecraft history~” “am i shaking because of adrenaline or rage.... who can tell” “I HAVE SO MUCH ADRENALINE IN ME BUT ITS 1 AM IN THE MORNING” “jokes on u i fucking HATE ___ i think hes the worst” “JUST IMPULSE MADE BROWNIES AT 9 PM HEYOOOO” “cry about it more bitch boy maybe piss your pants while ur at it” “im getting so casually toxic back to toxic gamer boys” “itll be fiiiiiine” “we are all stupid mice who take turns being the piper” “queen of bargains is me i am the queen of bargaining and scoring deals” “its not TECHNICALLY a direct threat but also yes it is” “i see a demon i go possess me then bitch boy u wont” “AAAA THE FUCKIN VIIIIBES” “IM NOT GOING TO STOP BEING MAD ABOUT IT”

[thoughts-of-the-unheard]

OKAY so ive been wanting to write this post since i started the books a few days ago but i have had absolutely no time so here we finally go 

i recently started reading acotar and i finished the first one and im idk maybe 1/3 of the way through the second one and i. Hate. tamlin. okay i never liked him and first of all i thought there was more chemistry between feyre and literally anyone else like they were just having sex i really dont think there was a relationship there because they just thought they were each others only chance but i dont even think hes like a good person i mean yea he made sure her family was well off but that was definitely just to make sure she stayed so there would be that chance that she would fall in love with him and break his curse which by the way super beauty and the beasty anyway he has a damn temper and its not any normal anger issue thing like he could literally tear her apart in seconds if he got angry enough he trashed the manor so much that im surprised anything was ever unbroken and when they were Under the Mountain, not the best name btw, and feyres doing her trials and tamlin, supposedly the love of her life, just fucking sits there i couldnt believe that it was actually tamlin just sitting there and watching her go through everything without reacting at all i didnt even think it was actually tamlin until that one party the night before her last trial when they snuck back to have sex because thats literally all their relationship was and side note, i love rhysand and i always have but well get back to that in a moment because even if tamlin didnt have severe anger issues, control issues, overprotectiveness, or cowardice, i still wouldnt like him because hes boring like hes just not an interesting character Oh and when amarantha was literally beating the life out of feyre, tamlin just sat there. he didnt move. he didnt make a sound. he just sat and watched and then had the audacity to cry over her dead body meanwhile my babe rhysand was kicking and screaming to get to her and healed her after the trials and saved her and luciens lives during the second trial and wanted half the month with her because he cares for her and every single action he takes in the second book so far is because he cares about her okay first of all, he didnt steal her away or force her to go immediately he waited until she called out, until she wanted to leave to go get her and he was there instantaneously to get her out of that situation and i knew he would be she was like get me out of here and i was like rhys is gonna come and whisk her away and he did! he did and he was so sassy about it i love him and oh and back to tamlin being terrible when feyre got back from rhysands the first time and they got in a fight and tamlin bought her an art set even though she hadnt painted for months and rhys knew that but tamlin couldnt be bothered to notice and she upset him and he fucking blew the study apart with her in it and the only thing that prevented her from being showered with all those deadly shards of wood and glass and whatever else was her own new power that he couldnt have known about so if she hadnt instinctively done that, he wouldve hit her and i know it wasnt his hand making the blow but it was his power and thats still him, still his fault and thats abuse so fuck him and when she got back the second time, he literally locked her in the house either not knowing or not caring that shes now terribly claustrophobic and i honestly dont know whats worse because if he didnt know that means he didnt notice that she hadnt touched a paintbrush in months when rhys did, he didnt notice how she couldnt go into certain rooms when rhys did, he didnt notice how she kept having such horrible nightmares she’d throw up for hours when rhys did, and not only did rhys pick up on all of that but he unpromptedly accommodated for all of it he noticed she hadnt wanted to paint and got her a new hobby of reading he noticed she felt trapped in certain closed spaces and his mountaintop castle manor home is completely open her room especially and her room in the valeris house has this big like bay window and shes not waking up at night not knowing where she is and hurling her guts in terror but that one time when she was throwing up he just held her hair and rubbed her back and i love rhysand and the not caring on tamlins part right meant that he did notice all that and chose to ignore it supposedly the love of his life is so damn traumatized that shes half dead from malnutrition and sleep deprivation and he just fucking lets it happen he doesnt even remotely try to help he doesnt even acknowledge it and when she went back to rhys after tamlins explosion and feyre looked all gaunt he was so angry and concerned and when mor got her after her panic attack from being trapped in the house he stayed up all night in some chair by her to make sure she’d be alright and he feigns being unconcerned and uncaring but theres absolutely no way at all that he isnt in love with her

im sure i had something else to say but i cant remember so in short: fuck tamlin and i love rhysand

[flecks-of-stardust]

Intro post tag thingy

i decided to start a new chain because the old one was so long skdhdksh thanks ash for tagging me though! @melanc-hex

name: ngl i purposefully did not include my preferred name in my bio because i was curious about what people would call me based on my username. i frankly dont care too much, so do as you will here

gender: no <3

star sign: leo

height: 5’ lol

time currently: help i just flew to california and jetlag is kicking my ass. thats all i will say

birthday: id rather not share this, but ill keep the bullet point in for other folks

favorite bands: im terrible at picking favorites uhh. i guess I Prevail counts, and Against the Current. i listen to a few other bands but my music taste is all over the place even if i mostly listen to rock/metal

song stuck in my head: this remix of hive knight’s theme, from the symphony of hallownest remix. go bee boy go

last movie i watched: its technically half of the movie Gravity, but i clicked out of it because i got bored of its writing. the last movie i watched in full would be Free Guy

last show i binged: good question! idk. cant remember. i think it would technically be owl house or avatar: the last airbender, but i was more watching with my friends than bingeing

last thing i googled: … cornifer’s wiki page, i guess? hfkshhkvhd

do you get asks: havent gotten a single one since i started this blog akchfksdh im kind of hoping some will pop up once i get dreamless posted (which is soon; im waiting on finishing ch3 before i put up ch1) but like. eh. im not too bothered about it

why the url: its pretty. and i like space

how many followers: like 11 or 13 last i checked, but i only made this account aug 30th or something so it tracks (edit: its 19, somehow)

average hours of sleep: varies wildly but i try to force myself to get at least 8 per night

lucky numbers: idk how people even pick these but im very hung on the number 6 for some reason so take that one

instruments you play: well i can play the piano (im waiting for the moment i can play hollow knight songs in public. watch me play the white palace theme in some random area) but i havent had classes since i was about 13. so im very rusty with what i can do, but i know how to read a piano score at the bare minimum

currently wearing: my equivalent of pajamas. its too early for me to be up but what can you do about jetlag

dream job: idk can i go be a slug in the woods instead

dream trip: i have too much anxiety about traveling now to have a good answer for this, f

favorite food: this is more of a comfort food, but probably instant ramen. easy to make, tastes good, gets my sodium content up, and its familiar. also noodles are delicious

favorite song: this changes so often its pointless for me to pick one, so heres the symphony of hallownest, heres a metal cover of the grimm theme, heres a good cover of goodbye sengen by will stetson, heres a pale king animatic i keep going back to for that section of music, and heres a playlist of an album i like that isnt hollow knight related, its called trauma and its from i prevail

three fictional universes you’d like to be in: *looks at the media ive consumed* like, none of them please im disabled and tired all the time

im too shy to tag anyone and i know ash already tagged jungl and finch so weh. if you see this and want to do it tag me i cant be assed to stress over who to tag alchhkchd

[incorrect-quotes-from-she-ra]

Ya gal, i rambled alot in this one, its honestly like, half about the flag, and half about a special guest but you asked for it. Oh and BTW, those sleep tips actually did help! Thanks hun. Ok, here we go. SO

The flag thing was slightly less entertaining than I hoped. Only slightly though. Mom basically said "whatever, if that's what you want" in an obviously uncomfortable way. She then looked at the flag, and I quote, said "that things dirtier than you, I'm washing it"

ouch.

She then took the flag, and left. Leaving me sitting there speechless. Not only at the roast, but how she didn't get mad? Of course she said that she wouldn't HELP me transition, but hey. Now, this is where the story would've ended, but as this was about a week ago or somethin, there's new tea.

So, my Nana (grandma, on my mom's side) is really wierd. And I don't mean me wierd, i mean We got home from a two day vacation once, and nana had deep cleaned our entire house weird. Idk if she has ADD to, or something else, but she is in her 70s, works 2 jobs, gets 6 hours of sleep, cleans SO much, and STILL has time for Grandpa! (He's nice, buys me and the cousins games from time to time). Honestly I'm still not sure if she's actually human.

Anyway, she's also super nice. So I was confused about why mom acted like that, so I called Nana and told her about the situation. It turns out, mom had figured out about the flag 2 days before it arrived because idk how Amazon works. And she called Nana to help talk me out of it (???). Well. According to Nana they then had "an informative conversation", but based on the way mom was acting imma guess it was a little more than a conversation.

Did I mention how Nana is also the most intimidating person I've met? And, once again, I dont mean usual mom intimidating. I mean She punched my 6'2 step uncle in the face when he DARED to-show up at Christmas after it got out that he was abusive intimidating. She probably shouldn't be punching people at her age but that's never stopped her before. I'm thinking she probably got alot of this from her time on a military base with her now ex. Which he also got punched several times by her (pretty toxic relationship) much to the dismay of his officers.

And she always got away with it because she's so nice (to the people she doesn't punch)

Anyway that's the story of how I came out + What the actual fuck is my nana

hello! im glad the sleeping tips helped kjhsdfgjhvbgf

axkjhfgvksjfhjb from this, i think ur mom didnt react very nicely? ican be very socially inept at sometimes so if that is the case, im so fucking sorry. having parents being unsupportive is the worst thing ever, and you deserve more than that!!! i wish you best of luck with ur transitioning <3. if that isnt the case, yay!!!! im super happy for u bestie <3 go live ur life as a chaotic water gun shooting trans gal.

is ur nana. human. i mean this in the politest way possible BUT IS SHE HUMAN. also i bow down to her. havent even met the woman yet but i feel like shes GREAT. her vibes are sending me. im bowing down to her and offering her the sword i dont own but if i do own a sword its gonna be offered to her. [u dont have to answer this, but how she feeling on u being trans? no pressure to answer!!! sorry if this is too personal ksjhdgfkvjgfdh]

thank u for sharing this w me and remember, let me know once u find out what ur nana is ahsdkgchjfd

[letterstomilen]

i discuss the classification of igneous petrology as you fall asleep during my lecture (PART 1) (ASMR)

Childe/Zhongli, Alternate Universe (read part 2 here) When Childe's younger sister tells him about the volunteer at the library, he does not make the connection between that and his new favorite ASMR YouTuber, Rex Lapis.

Childe has a very effective method of getting through college. His little sister, who’s caught him making coffee at three in the morning on more than one occasion the past week alone, would beg to differ. 

“You’re the best older brother,” she starts off, and he’s sure she’s trying to convince herself more than him at this point, “but you need to fix your sleeping habits.” Then, because she’s his little sister, she’d flash him a smile and pat his shoulder reassuringly.

(The comment is not lost on him though. He understands his sleeping situation will eventually wear him down if it hadn’t already, but he believes if he’ll drink a coffee every morning and a Monster every night, he’ll get through three days. By the third day, he’ll hardly be coherent but that doesn’t matter because he’ll conk out for the next twelve hours and then repeat.)

“Don’t worry, Tonia,” he says, trying to sound as reassuring as possible as he contemplates whether it’s worth it or not to swallow a pill of 5-hour energy with his morning coffee. “Once break ends, I’ll get back to normal.”

“You said that six seasons ago.”

Childe frowns, trying to remember if his sleeping schedule was this dysfunctional last year. “Huh?”

“The Walking Dead seasons,” Tonia clarifies, as if she’s not twelve years old and the show is for grown adults. He thinks. He hasn’t checked Commonsensemedia ever since La Signora labeled him as a “helicopter parent” and his Netflix tab has been playing How to Get Away with Murder as background noise for the past few weeks.

Isn’t it a show about zombies though? Tonia’s sheepish smile tells it all, because it’s the same exact guilty look he had when he got caught red-handed as a kid.

(Once he remembers later, Childe promises himself, he’ll check out The Walking Dead.)

“Oh. Well. I have a lot of shows to catch up on, you know. Not to mention a ton of my professors gave me reading for over the break.”

A half lie. They did give him a lot of reading because each professor assumed that their classes were his only one, and with seven days left, he still has a textbook worth of reading to go through. But there are no shows that Childe would sacrifice his precious sleep for. As a matter of fact, he would love to sleep. He’s spent the majority of his classes back in high school sleeping and faking attention, saving his grade at the last minute — it was quite the extreme sport really, if he says so himself.

Whenever he tries to sleep recently, his thoughts run at several hundred miles per hour, and he spends several hours staring at the ceiling before succumbing to the computer at his desk and watching trashy movies. At this point, he must have gone through the entire romance comedy list on Netflix. (Not a proud point in his life but if anybody ever wanted him to give a list of best to worst romance comedy movies, he now has one.)

Tonia, on the other hand, isn’t incredibly convinced.

Admittedly, the excuse was lame. Also, he can’t easily lie to his little sister, who’s far shrewder than he takes her for at times.

“You never start your reading in advance. You like to speed read it right before your class or watch a five-minute video on the chapters while your teachers take attendance. But that’s… uh, ‘a bad work ethic.’” Tonia looks immensely proud of herself as she says this, finishing it off with, “Zhongli told me that.”

“Zhongli?” he repeats, trying to remember if that’s one of her classmates or some stranger that’s hoping to kidnap his sister.

“The guy that volunteers at the library sometimes. He recommended me a loot of good books to read, but he talks like an old man.”

“How old?” Childe can tell she’s enjoying this — talking about her new friend at the library that he’ll probably have to run a background check on.

“Like he’s in his sixties or something. But he looks… actually, he looks your age! And he’s a student too. I told him all about you.”

Well, that doesn’t sound very reassuring coming from the mouth of a twelve-year-old. He’s not sure if that translates to his social security number, his current dilemma, or just that he’s her older brother.

“Like all of the stories you told me when I was a kid. And then when Lumine came to pick me up, she stayed to show him pictures of you too.”

“Of course she did,” he mumbles, ruffling her hair. One of these days he’s going to move without telling his classmates and the twins won’t enter his apartment unannounced. (But Tonia adores their company and the stories they tell her far too much for him to actually do it. But that doesn’t mean he’s above making threats when they tell his little sister about the bet he made about white-out and how it could dye hair. The jury is still out on this one.) “She’s just mad because I get away with it and she doesn’t. But don’t do it yourself. It’s a bad habit,” he adds, remembering that he should at least try to be a good influence on his younger sister when he can.

“Okaaay,” she says unconvincingly, before shaking her hair and running off to her room with lunch he prepared for her.

Watching her close the door and no doubt continue her binge of The Walking Dead, he takes out his phone and texts Lumine.

 Childe

12:35

ur a horrible influence on tonia

 Childe

12:35

and whos this ZHONGLI

 Childe

12:35

also is twd appropriate for 12 y/os

 Twin 1

12:37

a normal person would say hi

 Twin 1

12:37

also 1. me n aether watched it when we were 12 so probably and 2. some guy at the library that also goes to our school

 Well. At least he’s somebody they know. But The Walking Dead?

 Childe

12:38

thats not very convincing

 Childe

12:38

also dont ppl DIE? get BITTEN???? what if she gets nightmares

 Twin 1

12:39

isnt she 12 r u telling me u weren’t watching R rated movies at 12

 Childe

12:42

thats very different from a 10 season long show that is hailed as “one of the greatest horror shows in history” and “paved the way for post-apocalyptic horror”

 Twin 1

12:42

well if she has trouble sleeping she could always watch asmr. that helps me during midterms idk

 Childe

12:42

whats asmr

 Childe

12:43

asking for my sister btw

 Twin 1

12:44

A feeling of well-being combined with a tingling sensation in the scalp and down the back of the neck, as experienced by some people in response to a specific gentle stimulus, often a particular sound.

 Childe

12:45

wtf?

 Twin 1

12:45

people on the internet make random sounds or just talk into a mic n its supposed to be very relaxing. how have u never found out abt this?????

 Childe

12:45

idk the only thing on my youtube recommended r greatest stunts and chapter review videos

 Twin 1

12:47

… makes sense

 Twin 1

12:47

check out rex lapis’ channel he looks like ur type

 Childe

12:48

i thought we were talking about my sister????

 Twin 1

12:50

[message screenshots.jpg]

 Twin 1

12:50

ya she told me everything

 Twin 1

12:50

have fun i need to convince aether to not commit arson bc of his TA

 Childe

12:51

hope he does it

He opens his Youtube app, typing in Rex Lapis and expecting Lumine’s suggestion to be a joke. Despite them being friends for nearly two years now, she’s never made any indication of knowing his type. And he’s sure he’s never been that vocal about it either, only shooting appreciative looks at history majors and paying more attention than necessary to the TA for ‘Tradition of Justice and Law.’ (It’s unfortunate that those short-term crushes never led to anything, but maybe that’s for the better seeing that Childe has never understood the appeal of relationships.)

It is an ASMR channel, judging by the ASMR playlist he finds as he scrolls through the account. The icon shows no face — only a microphone — which leaves him skeptical. Most of the video titles belong in a petrology lecture as well, which makes him even more convinced that it’s a joke. He finds a few readings of ancient literature and decides to pick ‘I discuss the classification of igneous petrology as you fall asleep during my lecture (PART 1) (ASMR)’ because that’s exactly what he needs. (Not the very moment — but ten hours later when he’s in the bed memorizing the pattern of his ceiling wondering why he stole from his fifth grade teacher’s candy jar during lunch.)

When Childe opens the video, he damn near gasps.

The man in the video is exactly his type. His eyes are a soft amber color, framed with long lashes, and it’s almost enough for him to lose his dignity and message Lumine a long thank you text about how she is always right and he’ll pay for her coffee for the following week.  He smiles at the screen, albeit a little sheepishly, dark hair framing his face with a long ponytail that Childe can’t see the end of. On his right ear, there are a pair of earrings with a single feather that brush against his neck when he moves his head.

Even before he speaks, Childe is mesmerized, sure he’ll already memorize his features from the curve of his nose to the way he tilts his head, displaying the expanse of his neck.

Really — he reminds him of actors in historical dramas, the way he sits regally, and how he speaks. His voice is low and slow as he adopts a careful manner of speaking, leaning into the mic.

“I’m Rex Lapis, and I’ll be discussing igneous petrology today, which is part one in a three-part petrology series. I apologize in advance, seeing that my knowledge is limited compared to many petrologists out there but my friend Venti said that many of my viewers are here for my voice, so I’m very excited to start today’s video.”

Holy shit.

For the following week, Childe learns less about petrology, the philosophy of economics, and historical revisionism concerning matters of war and more about Rex Lapis, who is not in love with his voice but often finds himself in the middle of long tangents without explanations. His favorite book series is the Legend of the Lone Sword, which he says he’ll look forward to reading out loud for the channel. (Childe replays that part of the video again and again, captivated by his excitement as he mindlessly taps the mic while he speaks, his tangent cutting off mid-word — as it usually does, much to his dismay.)

His guilty obsession is not lost on Tonia, who realizes that instead of drinking Monster every night he’s been engrossed in his phone completely, often not noticing her or when the water starts bubbling. But because his sleeping schedule has been alleviated, she says nothing until Lumine comes over as she always does, not forgetting their weekly schedule of watching trashy movies while leeching off of Childe’s food.

Because he doesn’t trust the twins with the kitchen — even if they can cook — she instead spends her time sitting next to Tonia and spreading more of her anti-Childe propaganda while they wait. This usually involves Tonia occasionally calling out Childe’s name and asking, “Is that true?” or “Did you really do that?”

This time is different though.

Worried that Lumine finally decided to show Tonia a video of last semester’s presentation, he leans over, looking at the computer screen.

And he’s wrong. Unfortunately. Maybe it should’ve been his presentation because even if he botched it and accidentally projected his work process — screaming notes and all — to the class instead of his actual presentation, it would’ve been better than the two of them watching one of Rex Lapis’ videos together.

The ‘I read Erosion: Essays of Undoing to you as it rains outside’ video, to be specific, which is where Rex Lapis is embarrassed by Venti mid video when asked if this was his idea of a date with a lover. (And then it ends with Rex Lapis asking for video suggestions from the commentors, his face still flushed from the previous comments.)

Oh God — oh fuck.

“So he is your type,” Lumine says, her expression a bit too smug for his liking. Tonia looks half awake, scrolling through articles as the video plays, more interested in ‘Top 10 Glenn Rhee Moments’ than Childe’s crush. Her expression is a bit guilty as she does so — she’s biting her lip and avoiding his gaze, but he assumes that it’s just because they went through his YouTube history.

“I can neither confirm nor deny that statement,” he retorts, but the YouTube history she pulls up once Tonia hands the computer over to her says it all. (It’s quite mortifying, really — even Tonia is giving him a look, but it’s not as bad as Lumine’s shit eating grin.)

“Well… he does have a nice voice,” Childe finally says, thinking that perfectly encompasses his most recent obsession. Because he does have a nice voice — it’s soothing and speaks to him without really speaking to him directly. (The good looks are a bonus, he assures himself. A fantastic bonus, but a bonus nonetheless.)

“He does,” Tonia confirms, smiling toothily up at him, and he resists the urge to ruffle her hair with Lumine staring at him so skeptically. “But I don’t understand much of what he’s saying. He — heh — talks like an old man.”

“Don’t worry, Tonia, your brother likes him because he’s attractive,” Lumine informs her, now fast forwarding on one of Rex Lapis’ videos. “Did you know that he lives nearby?”

“Huh?”

The knife he’s holding clatters to the floor, and the two look down and back up at him with— hold on, why does it feel like they’re in on a secret he doesn’t know about?

“Yeah, he’s working on his grad thesis I think… Aether told me it was about something on history,” she muses. “That’s why I recommended his channel to you. He’s a bit of a celebrity in his department.” Childe’s sure his jaw dropped now, trying to maintain his facial expression as he takes out a new knife to chop up the onions.

“Really,” he tries to say as calmly as possible, wondering how he should accompany Aether to his lectures without trying to seem as obvious as possible. His voice is a bit shaky he realizes but he can’t quite make the connection between Rex Lapis and actual graduate student that goes to his university.

“Yeah, actually…” Lumine is definitely pretending to think now, enjoying this far too much. “He—”

“It’s Zhongli!” his little sister yells excitedly, practically jumping up and down at this point as if she won the lottery. “Zhongli runs an ASMR channel and he talks just like that in real life! Right, Lumine?”

“Yeah.”

Childe sighs, holding a hand up to his face. The realization that he’s been obsessed with the same guy that hears about every stupid thing he did secondhand is way too much — and the fact that he’s been listening to his voice every night before he went to bed the past week is way too much. He’s sure his face is redder than before judging by the amused expressions on Lumine’s and Tonia’s faces — really, they’re mirror images of each other right now.

Not for the first time, Childe swears to himself that he’ll never let her into his apartment without signing a contract ever again.

[scandeniall]

not a good day

pairing: akaashi x reader

summary/warnings: um yeah i was sad yesterday, started this. idk sad!reader. this isnt edited at all and idk if it even makes sense

wc: 981

The art of attentive listening is one Akaashi considered himself to be an expert at. In fact, he priced himself on the ability to listen and read others and work accordingly. It’s a skill first developed during his volleyball days, and even now as an editor he uses it frequently . When a writer says one thing he can easily decipher the underlying meaning.

However, Akaashi would admit to anyone who asked that it was you to help him fine tune the ability. Listening to your hopes and dreams, fears as happiness. Listening is what built trust and that is ultimately the foundation of love

Akaashi knew the day was not a good one the first glimpse he caught of you. He’d woken up due to a clap of thunder so loud and deadly that it shook the structure of your house. Wiping the accumulated sleep out of his eyes he glanced up, his eyes narrowing on the 3am displayed in red. Shifting to his other side, he’d been met with the back of his love.

Akaashi watched in silence for a moment before his forehead crinkled in confusion. He shifted his body closer to your back, before propping up on one shoulder to peer down at you. He wordlessly presses a kiss onto your own cheek, mumbling a soft “I love you” in your ear.

He watched the tiniest movements in your body as you inhaled and exhaled. He knew you were awake and he knew the tell tale signs that today would be one of those days. By the way you blinked all to easily he could tell you’d been up for quite a while. The stillness in your body told him movement was entirely too draining. The way your eyes seemed hyper focused on the darkest corner of the bedroom told him that your mind waged its own storm similar to the one outside. Akaashi knew today would not be a good day and he picked up on that the first glimpse he saw of you.

The morning came and the storm continued. It was now nearing 10 am. As Akaashi sat up he’d noticed a change in your movements within the last few hours. While only your lower half had been covered my the comforter, now it had been pulled over your head and your body cocooned.

He wordlessly peeled the fabric away from your face to barely brush his lips over yours. “Do you want to be alone for now,” at the nod he bit back his own sigh before agreeing. The decision to leave you alone was one that came over time. Listening to the fact that you preferred to spend dark days alone paired with his insistence that he would always be here. It was easier before the two of you resided in the same house. Much easier to shut off your phone and for him to go run errands and return to his own home. Now he was forced to watch you in frustration yet respect your own wishes. However, you’d managed to compromise. He agreed to check in on you every few hours in between going about his own day.

By the time lunch time rolled around akaashi had decided to make his first check in of the day. He sat the sleeve of crackers and leftover soup on the bedside table before turning his attention. You’d managed to go from your side to rest on your stomach, the pillow covering your head. You heard his soft greeting as you felt the dip in the bed.

“I brought some lunch up.” The words were accompanied by a warm hand slipping under both the cover and your shirt to rest on your back. When he revived no response, Akaashi opted for rubbing comforting circles across the expanse of your back. “(Y/N). You should eat something.” He carefully moved the pillow away to get a look at your own tear stained face.

You watched with bleary eyes as Akaashi briefly locked his own jaw before letting out a sigh. The hand on your back had halted its motions before it moved to stroke the skin of your cheek. “I’m here when you need me.” After a nod, his lips found the corner of your mouth before he made his own exit.

Night came before either of you knew it, and Akaashi had given up on getting you out of the bed for the day. As he neared the end of his Netflix show he’d decided to call get it an early night. But before, he could tune out and find his way back beside you a dip in the couch caught his attention.

“Hey,” The words came out horse. An effect of not using your vocal cords for the day paired with the silent crying. Carefully Akaashi made a movement to get cider and once he knew it were ok to do so his arm found its way around you and your neck buried in his shoulder. The follow up to one of your bad days was routine and this was the first step at getting you back.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Akaashi found himself nodding at your promise of later before pressing a kiss to your clothed shoulder. Minute by monthly found yourself relaxing more into his touch as the two of you started another episode. The warmth he’d missed from you paired with the ultra soft blanket you said the living room had to have.

Slowly you began to offer your own bits of commentary on the show, him nodding along and occasionally offering a whisper of his own. Akaashi knew you were back once you’d finally placed a soft kiss on his lips.

“Thank you for everything”

“I’m always here”

On days like this, those words conveyed all the love, and affirmation that either of you could need.

a/n: yeah um im coming back from my vacation soon so ill probs get back to really writing soon

[musicallady7]

THIS IS A KING ETERNAL MONARCH EP 13 RANT (spoilers obviously)

Ok..... it's midnight and I just finished the newly released episode. I watched it the exact moment the clock read 1030 pm. From where I live, Korean Standard Time is one hour ahead of my country's standard time so I waited every second until 1030 that's how excited this show got me.

Anyway first, PM Koo. I got to say I'm a but disappointed. I was rooting for her to be on Gon's side really. But it looks like she's joining the bad guy side. I think maybe she figures that if she cant become Queen by Lee Gon's side, she'll be Queen in a different way. She said something about seeing him by standing by his side but he said it wasn't her place so now she'll see him by standing in opposition. It's probably the villain rule of "If you want it take it and if you cant take it break it" like said in the song Chillin Like A Villain from Descendants. If she cant have him, nobody else should so she now wants to destroy him. No matter how evil she may seem though I can't bring myself to hate her. Even now as a villain, I admire her. I dont know why, its probably her determination I admire. Sure she takes it too far but still. She makes a great antagonist by Lee Lim's side though. I enjoyed their evil dynamic. They make an awesome evil pair.

Second Lee Gon and Jeong Taeul's relationship is going so well. In fact, its going incredibly well that Im convinced there's no happy ending for these two. I mean its practically inevitable. I think the happiest ending possible is bittersweet still all the same. There probably won't be an ending where she becomes Queen and they live happily ever after in KOC. I know I sound utterly pessimistic, but believe me I want a happy ending too its just that after episode 13 or even the episode before this, I've had a bad feeling it won't end well for them. I want a happy ending but I wouldn't count on it. We are about to spiral down the hole of angst like Act 2 of Hamilton.

Yeong. Jo Yeong. Ah where to start with this guy. I swear this episode kind of further convinced me he's platonically in love with Lee Gon. Platonic? And in love? Idk how that works either but it weirdly does in my brain. He asks Gon if he wants to have a drink together sjbwbdnwnnsnwnw. I like paused for 5 seconds to fangirl a bit and breathe deeply. He probably senses an impending doom coming soon and doesnt want to waste time. I'm guessing he's concerned Gon will be hurt if something terrible happens especially to his relationship with Taeul. All Yeong wants is for Gon to be happy and his star crossed relationship with Taeul is bound to hurt him sometime soon which is probably why Yeong is a bit iffy about it. Also he got shot in the last episode... please you have an identity in this world go to a hospital Pete's sake bxnsnsjskd. When Lee Gon asks him if anything happened he doesn't even bring up that he was shot. Yeong what are we going to do with you hahahahha.

Jo Eun-sup. His reunion with his siblings and Nari made my heart flutter so freaking much AAAAHHHHHHH it was so cute. When Nari saw him, she sensed a difference and immediately figured it was really Eun-sup. His sister knew too. I'm just wondering who they think the other not Eun-sup but looks like him guy is. Is Nari going to find out soon that Eun-sup switched with his counterpart? Also the scene in the hospital where Eun-sup fights the intruder in the room was so freakin bad ass I screamed AHHHH ahhahahh

Luna in the same world as Taeul cant do any good. I'm concerned. Is she on good side or bad side? We will find out soon. But anyway I'm also concerned because she seems really sick in that car scene where she was trying to sleep. She's probably going to die soon. I'm thinking she probably is bad because she tried to trick Lee Gon that she was Taeul and put something in his drink to make him pass out. Lee Gon found out it wasn't Taeul after staring at Luna for a couple seconds. I always knew a Luna pretend to be Taeul thing would happen after Taeul asked Gon if he would ever mistake her counterpart for her.

Lady Noh is confirmed to be from ROK and she knows about the whole portal thingy. That means the flute has been used even before by the late kings. I wonder what happens when the flute is used with its full power when it isn't half and half anymore.

The lightning scar seems to be with those whose counterparts are dead and crossed between worlds so why isnt Sinjae getting it? Maybe his counterpart is still alive? Maybe he is getting a scar and we just didn't see a scene for that yet. We will find out

Sorry for the really long rant but none of my friends watch kdrama so I have no one to talk about it to hahahaha. Anyway this is all just my opinion. I CAN'T WAIT FOR EPISODE 14 I'M COUNTING THE HOURS UNTIL IT AIRS. Anyway its midnight so I really should get some sleep now hahahhaha.

[marvinhasadhd]

Okay, so I got my prescription about two weeks ago and since then I have already tried Ritalin a few times.

I started with half a pill (so 5mg) and didn’t feel anything. My doctor advised me to do my next attempt on the next day, but I am chronically bad at listening to medical professionals, so I tried a whole pill (or 10mg) on the afternoon of the same day I tried the first one.

I decided to take it, because our work had been cancelled (I currently work as a security at events which are hosted by our city) and so someone had to wait until the security who worked the night shift arrived. I really need the money, so I volunteered to sit around for a few hours and I decided to take the full pill and try reading for a bit, as thats something where I often struggle with being inattentive and getting distracted by just about everything.

And it kinda helped. I just sat down and read for over an hour without looking at my phone or getting distracted in any other way. I used to read a lot as a child, but since the age of 12-13 I slowly stopped reading as much because I could rarely ever focus on the book for longer times, so reading became a bit frustrating, as I now took days, weeks or sometimes even months to finish books which would have taken me hours when I was younger (one of my biggest achievements as a child was that I finished the whole HarryPotter-Series in just one weekend).

So yeah, that was a nice experience. I tried it again two days later, as I wanted to try studying for university, but this time I tried 1,5 pills (so 15mg) and I didn’t feel much difference to the 10mg. I still couldn’t quite focus on the stuff I had to learn and I kept getting distracted by things around me, especially by the clutter on my desk. I really felt the need to do something about that and so I cleaned my desk. And once my desk was finally free of everything that didn‘t belong there, I cleaned the floor, the kitchen, the bathroom, I did my laundry and I collected all the cat toys and also cleaned all the places my cats like to hang out in of their hair. Once that was done, I tried to learn again and I noticed that I could focus a bit better, but most importantly I noticed that I just managed to keep my focus on doing a cleaning of the whole flat without making any breaks to watch youtube or check twitter or anything. I didn’t even think about my phone, while I did all that. That was kinda crazy, as just about everyone who knows me would describe me as a perfect example of a smartphone-addicted person.

The next day, I tried to learn again and I took two whole pills (aka 20mg or the maximum dosis my doctor allowed me to do before I visit her again) and I noticed that while I could actually focus better, I would also focus very strongly on anything that distracted me. I found one of my cats toys (a self-made mouse) had been ripped and while I was already trying to focus on learning, I just had to get my sewing kit and repair the mouse before I could even think about anything else. So my focus became much better, but also I would focus very strongly on any possible distraction.

The next day my girlfriend arrived and so I didn‘t take Ritalin for a few days, as I know that she isnt too big of a fan of it (that one Netflix-documentary apparently made Ritalin seem like its pure crystal meth) and also I think I shouldn’t need stimulants to be able to focus on my girlfriend. I love her and I always try to give her my fullest attention, so I let the pills in my medicine-cabinet.

Once she was gone again (she has a summer-job in another state, so we only see each other for a few days each week), I tried studying again and so I took two pills in the morning, cleaned my whole learning environment before the effects kicked in and then I actually was able to focus nicely on cell-biology. And ya know, what can I say about that except „The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell“?

Later that day, when the effects already had worn off, I noticed that I also experienced the so-called rebound effect (=symptoms being a bit stronger than usual once the effects of the medication wore off), but as I wanted to continue studying, I decided to take two more pills. So I went to the bathroom, took one, noticed that I had to clean the cat-toilet, cleaned it, forgot that I had already taken one and took two. So I was at 3 whole pills or 30mg of Methylphenidate, which was 1,5 times the maximum dose my doctor told me to take. And then I remembered that I had made plans with a friend to come over and catch up, as we hadn’t seen each other since the whole pandemic started.

So yeah, once he arrived two hours after my accidental intake of 3 pills, I was really focused on what he said and I must say, I felt a mental clarity I usually never felt in normal situations. I also felt a bit more energetic than usual and I experienced the suppressed appetite (which apparently is a rather common side-effect) much stronger than I did with lower doses. Besides that my head felt very warm and I noticed that my pulse was much stronger, so I put on my old smart-watch, just so I could regularly check my pulse (it was constantly over 90, when my usual average it between 60 and 70). Also I told him about my medication and the dosage I had taken, so if I experienced anything bad (the high pulse made me a bit anxious about that) he could inform a doctor. But yeah, nothing bad happened and for two hours we just talked about a lot of things and I just really listened to what he said, which was nice, as I‘m someone who often gets lost in thought while people talk to me, and being able to focus on what he said without getting distracted made me feel like I managed to be a better friend than I‘m usually am.

But nothing lasts forever and so once the effects wore off (took about 4,5 hours) I really couldn’t focus on stuff and I really felt the effects come back much stronger than they usually are. Luckily he is a pretty understanding dude, so he suggested that we just cook until I felt a bit better, which was quite nice, as my appetite also came back and I remembered that I hadn’t eaten anything that day. So we cooked and just played with the cats until I felt a bit better. I noticed that playing with the cats made me quite a bit calmer - maybe it’s the dopamine-boost my tiny fluffy boys give me, or maybe I just overinterpret something. Idk.

(Short break. I know, this post is already pretty long and as it’s about ADHD, I assume that some people reading this also have it. If you managed to read this that far, I‘m really amazed and I really thank you for your attention. Also I made this another text-style, so if you want to take a short break, you could find this spot easier. If you have any tips on how to write so that it’s more suitable for ADHDers to read, please feel free to send me a message, as I would really like it, if I could improve my writing so that my posts are easier to read for other people. Also I promise that this post will be finished soon.)

Okay, so lets continue: once the friend was gone, I washed the dishes, cuddled the cats and went to sleep. Or at least I tried to do so. I just couldn’t fall asleep. It was really impossible for me to close my eyes without having my brain full of thoughts that would keep me awake. I tried to put in calming music, as that helped me to fall asleep back when I was in school, but that didn’t work. I tried to make myself a nice sleeping-environment by putting on nice sounds to pretend that I‘m on the Hogwarts express (I used ambient-mixer for that) and lit small fairy lights, but that also didn’t help. I tried to do a brain-dump and wrote down all the thoughts that kept me awake, but that also didn’t help much. I tried to read all these thoughts out to my cats and talk about all the feelings I had that were linked to the thoughts, but that also didn’t help. (Also the cats kinda decided to run around and play catch after I talked to them for a few minutes. I think they have about the same attention span as I do). At about 5:30 in the morning my girlfriend texted me because she just got up to go to work and I was still awake to answer her. So yeah, at about 6 in the morning I fell into a very light sleep and I can tell you, working a 7 hour shift after that wasn’t fun. So a nice advice of mine: don’t do a higher dose than your doctor allowed you at 6 in the afternoon. Or generally. Listen to your doctors, chances are they know what they are talking about.

And here’s finally the last experience I wanna write about: Today I woke up at 8 and decided that I will use my day productively to learn. So ensured that my desk and everything around it was nice and clean and then I took two pills. And guess what. Now it’s half past 10 and I spent the last 1,5 hours focusing really intensely on writing a tumblr-post about my experiences with Ritalin because I remembered that I wanted to write such a post and I couldn’t focus on anything else while I had this thought. So yeah. Overall I really like the effects it has on me, as I didn’t experience any bad side-effects by now and it really helps me focus, but now I also know that maybe I should make a check-list of things I want to have done before I take it, as these things could be mayor distractions down the line.

I hope these reports could be interesting or helpful to someone out there, but always remember: the experiences of different people can vary vastly, so always remember that such meds can have very different effects on you or people you know. Always consult a doctor or pharmacist if you have medical questions and always remember that taking meds or not doing so is both completely valid, as long as it fits for you.

If you made it this far, I really wanna thank you for taking the time and focus to read this and I hope you found it to be at least somewhat interesting. Feel free to text me if you want to talk about your own experiences, ask questions, give criticism on the way I write or just ask for pictures of my cats. I hope you have a really nice day and yeah. I‘ll post again once something post-worthy happens or a topic which I think to be deserving of a post comes to my mind.

[zettaiunmeis]

zamaya 4 the ship questions?

So... this is late af,,, im sorry?

Who said “I love you” first

Zari. When they start their relationship, zari’s kinda the nervous one. shes not good w feelings and shes pretty inexperienced with romance, and in general, shes not particularly the kind of person whod be well equipped to deal with the l-bomb and amaya knows this. so even though amaya has always felt that pull between them, something that even the connection between their totems couldnt fully explain, she doesnt say anything, even though shes loved zari almost as long as shes known her. but as their relationship progresses, zari becomes more confident in herself, in her own ability to process feelings, in her own capability to be an adequate romantic partner, but amaya still... she isnt sure. she knows zari is more confident, understands that shes in a better place, emotionally, than before, but shes still afraid that saying i love you too soon will scare zari away, so she keeps it to herself, even as zari starts working up the courage to tell amaya she loves her. and like, since this is zamaya, i feel zari’ll end up saying i love you over something small but meaningful? like, idk maybe right before they go to sleep, when both of them are like half asleep and then amaya wakes up in the middle of the night like, wait a minute did she jus- and then she shakes zari awake and in the midst of zaris complaints about being woken up, she almost yells i love you too. and zari, still sleeping, is just like, neat. and then she’ll wake up the next morning and fucking kick herself because amaya just told me she loved me and i fucking said neat

Who would have the other’s picture as their phone background

Both. In 2042, taking pictures could be a safety hazard -- if you lost it or if your camera was hacked, someone might be able to use the information in it to target you or the people you care about -- so Zari never really had the opportunity to have a picture of her family as her background or anything. So, when Zari joins the legends, she gets Gideon to help her get some surveillance shots that were taken of her and her brother by ARGUS drones to set as her phone’s background. But after she gets together with Amaya and sort of deals with her issues (thanks to the Bureau issued therapist that Ava recommended they go to), she decides to change the background to a picture she has of Amaya at the very top of a 1960s ferris wheel, bathed by the light of a sunset. And the next week she changes it to a picture of Amaya laughing at something Nate says while they’re all getting ready in the fabrication room. And then she changes it again and again basically once a week because she finds herself taking as many pictures as she can of everyone she cares about -- just in case -- and that means an abundance of pictures of Amaya. 

When she finds out that no-one ever really taught Amaya to chance the background of her phone screen (it wasn’t intentional -- Nate meant to teach her but Constantine challenged him to a naked yoga contest and he had to accept), she takes it upon herself to do so and takes a silly selfie of the two of them on Amaya’s phone and sets it to the background. Amaya doesn’t really change hers. She likes that particular photograph because Zari is smiling widely in it, and she looks so??? happy????

Who leaves notes written in fog on the bathroom mirror

Zari. she wakes up about forty minutes after amaya tries -- and fails -- to wake her up before going for her hour long run/training with sara, and she just goes and gets ready. but she does timing stuff so that she ends up leaving the bathroom around five minutes before amaya gets back, and she leaves messages in the fog bc she knows amaya loves seeing them

Who buys the other cheesy gifts

Zari. Again, this comes down to the fact that zari just didn’t grow up with a lot of material possessions, so its like, she wants to spoil her gf and shower her with presents and stuff.

Who initiated the first kiss

Amaya. Idk what id go with for the first kiss for these two, but like,,, whatever scenario it is, i feel like at the beginning of their relationship zari’s the one whos like “but does she like me?” when amaya is literally asking if she can kiss her (consent is sexy babes) so, amaya sort of ends up initiating the first kiss through zaris gay obliviousness

Who kisses the other awake in the morning

Amaya. Shes the early to rise type, and zaris the fuck that sunshine shit type, and that means that amaya spends about ten minutes every morning trying to wake up zari before she goes on her daily run (which, when they’re on the ship, equates to going to the lab/gym/jail cell room thing (rlly what the fuck iS that room?)) before giving up and leaving for her hour long morning workout with sara. but that “try to wake up zari” routine doeS, in fact, involve copious amounts of kisses. 

Who starts tickle fights

Zari. Amaya isn’t great at most video games, but after Zari starts teaching her, she has these spurts of like,,, extra luck! and stuff like that. so whenever amaya’s winning, zari will drop her controller and start tickling her and amaya will start protesting between laughs that itS!!! UNSPORTSMANLIKE!!!! and zari will kiss her and then the tickle fight will.... no longer be a tickle fight. 

Who asks who if they can join the other in the shower

Amaya… but only sometimes. like, sometimes, she’ll get back from her run/workout a bit earlier than usual, so those times, shell go and knock on the bathroom door and most of those days, zari will complain for an hour about how her hands are now wrinkly and soft and how it makes practicing the violin so!!! much!!! harder!!!!

Who surprises the other in the middle of the day at work with lunch

Amaya. She really likes cooking and baking and stuff, and zaris the kind of person who goes and sits at her computer with like,,, a party size bag of chips and finishes them all off in an hour and wishes she got something more, but is too involved in her work to want to like,,, physically? get up and get them? and amaya knows this so she’ll make something amazingly good and like, stand at the door while zari is working so she can drag her out for lunch bc otherwise zaRI YOULL STARVE 

Who was nervous and shy on the first date

Zari. She’s never really? Done this whole... romance thing. Like has she liked ppl? Yes. Has she ever acted on her crushes? hA HA HA. So she kind of feels lowkey inexperienced compared to amaya, and she tries to hide it, but its clear shes feeling a bit insecure abt everything. 

Who kills/takes out the spiders

AMAYA. Shes an animal goddess so she doesnt even have to take it out. She just sort of says “hey would you mind moving so i can get to the flour?” and its just.... does? meanwhile, zari, a vigilante with avatar powers, whos looked into the face of evil fairy godmothers and lived to tell the tale, is cowering in the background, telling amaya to “gET RID OF IT, BABE, IM BEGGING”

Who loudly proclaims their love when they’re drunk

Zari doesn’t drink, so I guess Amaya, but she doesn’t get drunk very often so. Its mostly just the two of them cuddling and laughing while the rest of the team gets drunk off their asses and starts doing stupid shit. Zari films everyone else tho lmao, and she gets Gideon to play the video of their antics at the highest possible volume while they all file into the galley with hangovers at the next mealtime