#look i wrote uhhhhhhhhh

[abnerkrill]

okay so despite all my celebration and breaking out the bottles of champagne over axe being an absolute BITCH in today's mandalorian episode, it's a little sad to let go of the possibility of a tough guy mandalorian who didn't want to do mandalorian stuff. you know how, in season 2's two scenes with him, he was stoic, reserved, kind of darkly humorous and grimly accepting of what had to be done, always deferring to bo-katan, and i wayyy extrapolated that into my fic/headcanon axe as someone who didn't really want to be in a fight all the time, but his clan loyalty and deep-seated grief over the loss of mandalore and burning need to do something about it drove him to cleave to bo-katan anyway. seems like we're getting two-dimensional tough bad guy axe instead which, while entertaining fun, does make me a little sad about the mandalorian's rather.. one-note characters

[physalian]

When To Keep Your Writing Stiff (pt 7)

Part 6

Part 1

Gonna shoutout a specific fanfic, “Salvage” (ATLA) for writing that is even leaner than mine is, and mine has zero fat whatsoever. This was really good. I particularly like how some scenes were only 2 or 3 lines long as an example of what I’m going for here.

When I say “stiff” in the following examples I’m specifically talking about a lot of the same syntax, few similes and metaphors, few ‘said’ synonyms, very little, well, “life” in the prose. And this can be good in a few situations.

1. Your narrator is in shock

Shock doesn’t all look the same, but the kind of shock I mean is the one where the person is really quiet and un-emotive, they’re probably not speaking or reacting much to whatever catastrophe just happened and probably not responding to their name or anything spoken to them. Their body is pretty much going “uhhhhhhhhh factory reset!” when whatever it is, is too much to process.

A asks them a question. Once. Twice. B stares ahead. There’s a brown stain on the wall that looks like a thumb.

So if they’re narrating, they’re probably going to be giving the absolute bare minimum, need-to-know information and won’t be thinking about the best adjectives and adverbs. Especially if you normally write with fluffier prose, a jarring shift like this can really help sell the shock and dissociating of the character, something so traumatizing that it effects how the story is told.

2. Your narrator is depressed

Somewhere between New Moon’s 4 pages of just Months to show Bella did absolutely nothing in a depression rot and normal prose (though it was effective, particularly in the movie when they could draw out the words on the screen for longer and did the whole spin-around-her-depression-chair montage).

January came. It rained a lot.

They’ll probably either narrate very thinly, or listlessly. They might focus on a random detail and start going on a long ramble about that one detail that isn’t at all important, but it’s either all they can think about or all that can move them to feel anything in this moment, like:

On the bedside table, that coffee mug still sat there in a thin sheet of dust. What had been liquid now long since dry and gluey. It still sits there, collecting cat fur.

This might be the best place for sentences that all sound and flow exactly the same, but use it sparingly.

3. Your narrator is having a panic attack or trapped in a traumatic situation

Different from shock in that while they are physically capable of moving and interacting, they can’t let themselves describe what they’re seeing and feeling in grand detail. Maybe they’re moving through the horrific aftermath of a battle and all they can describe is the mud under their feet and how it squelches. Or they simply say that “there’s bodies everywhere” because looking too long or too hard at who those bodies belonged to is too much.

4. You’re writing something that has incredibly fast pacing

This post was inspired by a fic I just wrote that spanned about 5 months in about 18k words. Narrative was skipping days ahead between paragraphs at some point as my character was processing the end of an abusive relationship. It sped up and slowed down where necessary, but compared to its sequel that I also just finished (22k words across 7 days), I’d covered a whole month in about 2 sentences in the first one.

See nearly any part of Salvage (or my fics if you feel like it)

What happened in that month didn’t matter, only what was before and what’s different now and how this character realizes how their life is slowly changing, some things they never noticed that are suddenly right in their face or things that quietly slipped away.

—

TLDR; sometimes the lack of emotion and sensory details and frenetic, dynamic syntax is the point, that can sell the reader on the narrator’s mental state far better than picking the juiciest adverbs. If it’s so impactful to them that the physical telling of the story is changed, you’ve done your job.

[hunieday]

Nikaido Yamato - Drama Collection vol.2 Rabbit Chat

Please note that I am not a professional translator and I'm only doing this to share the side materials to those who cannot access them, if you notice any mistakes please let me know nicely. Enjoy!

Natsume Minami: Good evening, Nikaido-san.

Natsume Minami: I heard that we'll be appearing together on a variety show next time to promote the drama. I look forward to working with you.

Nikaido Yamato: Hey there, Natsume-chan. Thanks for your courtesy.

Nikaido Yamato: So about that show... they said the theme this time is "youth" in relation to the drama, and they sent a bunch of surveys about it

Nikaido Yamato: What did you answer, Natsume-chan...?

Natsume Minami: Oh. Aren't you looking forward to the talk on the show?

Nikaido Yamato: Well yes, but I'm just wondering about the direction you’re gonna be taking

Natsume Minami: Direction?

Nikaido Yamato: Are you gonna answer it lightheartedly or seriously?

Natsume Minami: Well, I think we need to be serious.

Natsume Minami: That's why I even answered the 5th "Please describe your flavor of youth" question seriously.

Natsume Minami: I wrote that it “tasted like milk tea."

Nikaido Yamato: Oh, so that's what "flavor of youth" means, as in what you drank the most back then.

Nikaido Yamato: Well, ŹOOĻ sells the tough-guy image well so you should be fine with that answer.

Natsume Minami: What do you mean back then? I was talking about when I was in school, I was really into drinking black tea.

Nikaido Yamato: Oh, I see!?!?

Natsume Minami: Oh my. What did you think I was talking about?

Nikaido Yamato: No, my bad. It's nothing.

Natsume Minami: 

Natsume Minami: So, what's your flavor of youth, Nikaido-san?

Nikaido Yamato: Uhhhhhhhhh...

Nikaido Yamato: Maybe melon...

Natsume Minami: How adorable. You like it, don't you?

Nikaido Yamato: Well, yeah...

Natsume Minami: Did you also eat it during those "back then"s you mentioned?

Nikaido Yamato: Forget about that LMAO

Nikaido Yamato: But maybe we’re too young to be calling it "youth", I just liked it as a kid and used to eat it a lot.

Natsume Minami: I’m guessing “youth" refers to teenage years, but it's complicated to define. There were other questions about what we did after school.

Nikaido Yamato: I see. You were busy with work, Natsume-chan.

Natsume Minami: Yes. Unfortunately, I was always so busy with work that I don't remember much of my school days.

Natsume Minami: If anything, I think now feels more like youth for me.

Nikaido Yamato: I get that.

Nikaido Yamato: Hanging out with those guys feels like I’m back in junior high.

Nikaido Yamato: We do things like chugging soda in the middle of summer, having snowball fights in winter, it’s like I’m doing kid-like stuff all year round.

Natsume Minami: Sounds fun. It's like having a little family.

Nikaido Yamato: Maybe LMAO

Nikaido Yamato: ŹOOĻ kinda feel like siblings too

Natsume Minami: Wait a moment. Who's the oldest?

Nikaido Yamato: That’s what you’re concerned about?

Natsume Minami: It's extremely crucial.

Nikaido Yamato: If we ignore the age, the oldest would be Inumaru, then you, then Mido, and the youngest would be Isumi I guess...?

Natsume Minami: I see. Our interpretations aren’t too off, but Mido-san and Isumi-san could probably be reversed.

Nikaido Yamato: Huh? Mido’s the youngest?

Natsume Minami: Since he’s a cute guy.

Nikaido Yamato: Maybe Natsume-chan is the oldest son after all...

Natsume Minami: You're also quite cute, Nikaido-san.

Nikaido Yamato: Where though!?!?!? I'm three years older than you, I’m a grown man who loves beer!

Natsume Minami: During skateboard practice you asked, "Natsume-chan, if I fall, will you help me?" 

Natsume Minami: I thought the way you were trying to tug at my heartstrings by acting like a spoiled child on purpose was cute.

Nikaido Yamato: Don't say it was on purpose LMAO

Natsume Minami: Your character this time resembles you in that aspect quite a bit.

Nikaido Yamato: Oh, he was pretty spoiled wasn’t he?

Nikaido Yamato: He couldn't accept his best friend leaving, so he blamed everyone around him for his problems and vented his bad days to his friends so they would comfort him

Nikaido Yamato: Wait... I kinda feel like I’m having déjà vu...

Natsume Minami: Oh?

Natsume Minami: In reality, all he wanted was to skate with his best friend again, but he couldn't say that one word, so he struggled with despair all the while.

Natsume Minami: He was unable to be fully emotionless, so he couldn’t help but show vulnerability and kindness to those who loved him, which resonates with you deeply.

Nikaido Yamato: Damn. You really went into details 

Natsume Minami: It's fun. I enjoy discussing acting with you.

Nikaido Yamato: I feel the same thing. I feel like we fit each other’s style more every time we’re acting together, Natsume-chan.

Natsume Minami: Are you flirting with me?

Nikaido Yamato: So wanting to work with you more is the same as flirting with you now?

Natsume Minami: You're making me blush.

Nikaido Yamato: Liar LMAO

Natsume Minami: It's true. You said "I just wanted to laugh and skate again. It’s enough for me that I was able to do it today." in the script. Your expression at that moment was just like that.

Nikaido Yamato: That’s the one thing you praised me for on the spot, it's embarrassing to hear it again in text

Natsume Minami:

Natsume Minami: Being able to discuss our work like this feels like youth to us, doesn't it?

Nikaido Yamato: Maybe you’re right! I'll write that the coffee I'm drinking now is the flavor of youth.

Natsume Minami: Can I match your answer? I was just drinking some too.

Nikaido Yamato: Oh, what a coincidence. Though the flavor of youth turned out quite bitter.

Natsume Minami: It's a special flavor, just like us.

[cartmankisser]

iJUST NOTICED YUO ALSO WROTE FOR SAIKI K UHHHHHHHHH IF YOU DONT DO MULTIPLE FANDOMS IN ONE REQ THATS FINE JSUT DO SAIKI BUT CAN I GET NARRATOR TSP AND SAIKI WITH AN S/O WHO INSTEAD OF ACTUAL THOUGHTS THERES CONSTANT MUSIC THAT CHANGES DEPENDING ON THEIR MOOD IVE HAD TGHIS IDEA FOR SO LOGN OMG UHHH DO WHATEVR U WANN A DO !!!!!! AAA

IM ONLY GONNA DO SAIKI FOR THIS ONE SORRY u can totally 100% request this exactly the same for the narrator because i'll probably forget about it unless it's in my inbox 😅

also i want sure if you meant like instrumental game/theme type of music or like actual songs so i tried to keep it kind of vague

at first, saiki just thought you were,,,, well,,,, dumb.. the only other person he knows that doesn't have thoughts for him to read is nendou, so you can't really blame him for assuming you were just as brainless as he is. because of that assumption he had though, he tended to avoid you as much as he could, simply out of fear and annoyance of your possible nonsense. you'd definitely have to make the first move.

it genuinely shocks him when you speak intelligible words. he was so prepared to listen to you spew out nonsense that he had to take a second to truly process what you were saying. at first, it was quite hard for him to focus on your words with the incessant bubbly music you seemed to keep on loop inside your head, but once you two got closer to eachother, even starting a relationship, he learned to just tune it out.

it wasn't until one day when you weren't quite acting like yourself that he noticed the absence of your usual happy tune and the low-spirited melody that replaced it. it really took him a moment to connect the dots.. i mean, he's so used to being able to look into peoples minds for answers!! but when he finally realized that you were upset omg??

it honestly blew his mind that the music actually had some sort of meaning and wasn't just a weird fault you had

[resus-pieces]

Melissa

This story is not mine. If you know who originally wrote it please comment their username so I can credit them.

“Hey Peter.”

“Hey Mel. Blood and urine are good. So tell me your problems. Bedtime-error again?”

“Uhhhhhhhhh yes. It’s still not working for us.”

“I need to exam you so undress and have a seat on the chair.”

Melissa hurries to undress her sweater, jeans, bra, and panties before spreading her legs on the chair – not the first time so she does it without help and without being ashamed of her nudity.

Peter switches on a lamp and directs the light directly on the pubic area of his patient. He sits down having Melissa’s fresh shaved privates directly in front of his face. “So still the same prob ey? May i ask what hubby does to you?”

“Licking and kissing lips and clitoris, pinching my nipples, kissing my breasts, slapping my backside. Then the in-and-out-game and sometimes we try it greek-style.”

“Maybe you should try other thinks? Like med-play?”

“Wha- what you mean?”

“Relax,” Peter runs vinyl gloves on his hands and starts a very rough bimanual exam on the wide-opened Melissa. Then he plays with her labia and clitoris while giving her oral pleasure.

“Uuuuuuuuhhhhh, Peter? It feels good but...not good enough.”

“Okay, Mel, no big prob, but I need Nancy and the crash cart in here-NANCY! WE NEED SPECIAL TREATMENT; GET THE CRASHCART IN HERE!”

“EN ROUTE, DOC!”

Peter installs video cameras and microphones all around the treatment area.

Nancy wheels in a crash cart and helps Peter preparing Melissa for her treatment.

They place an oxy-mask on her face and connect it to the oxy-bottle in the corner. Followed by placing the monitoring- electrodes for the 12-lead ecg, pulse oxy on right index finger, auto-R/R cuff around left arm. They finish by inserting a urinary catheter into Melissa’s urethra and hanging two saline IVs. They connect the monitoring equipment to the monitor which stands on Peter’s desk.

“130/90; 85; 90% oxy... okay, let’s start the treatment,” says Peter while stething Melissa’s heart and Nancy feeling for Melissa’s different pulses.

Melissa, panicky, looks at them. Her heart speeds up to 98 BPM.

“Shhhhhhhh, relax” Nancy whispers in her ear while gently touching Melissa’s breasts.

“We have to fix you on the chair, Melissa,” Peter tells her before fixating her arms and legs with leather straps.

“Ready for some pleasure, Melissa?”

“What do you want to do???” Melissa asks, fearfully looking to the crash cart while Nancy prepares the defib-paddles with gel.

“100J loaded, doctor.”

“Good, so we start helping Melissa over the finish-line,” says Peter while pressing one defib-paddle on her labia and releasing the first shock.

“OUTCH! What the hell are you doing? This hurts!”

“Helping you to get an orgasm.”

“I don’t want it this way!”

“Relax and take deep breaths”

“NOOO!” shouts Melissa fighting against the fixations.

“Anesthesia?” asks Nancy and Peter nods. Nancy injects Melissa a relaxant before giving her general anesthesia via the mask.

Melissa starts to pass out, laying fully relaxed and finally breathless on the gyno-chair.

“No breathing, doc!” Nancy calls out while giving her patient mtm.

“Stop mtm and hand me the laryngoscope to open the airway.”

After Nancy handed him the laryngoscope and ET tube, Peter looks into Melissa’s mouth, sees it empty, inserts the laryngoscope and carefully opens the airway so he can slide in the ET tube and connect it to the ventilator.

Nancy checks the ventilation – which is good and brings saturation up to 98%- and fixates the tube with plaster strips.

“Vitals?”

“130/90;90; 98%, stable heart rhythm.”

“Okay, stand back for 150J.”

“Loaded, doc.”

Peter presses the paddles harder onto Melissa’s labia and gives her 150J.

Goose bumps cover her bare skin. Melissa slightly jumps off the chair.

“120/70; stable rhythmic 98 BPM, saturation 95.”

“Okay” says Peter while watching Melissa’s privates. “No signs of pleasure, let’s give her 200J.”

Again Nancy loads, Peter shocks and Melissa slightly jumps. This time Nancy informs Peter about Melissa’s hardened nipples. “110/80: 110 with beginning arrhythmia; sat: 90.”

“Better. Mel is a bit wet now.”

“But I don’t know if she can survive this, Peter-”

“She will get her orgasm and we’ll bring her back to life...load 360 and place the AED.”

“O-okay, doc.”

Melissa’s labia are shocked, bringing goose bumps, a little jump, heavy breast-movement, hardened nipples, a bit genital wetness and. . .

“OH FUCK V-FIB! AED says shockable rhythm!”

“Stand back, Nancy” says Peter pressing the shock button. “We have to lay her on the floor for further resus.”

Peter and Nancy slide Melissa’s nude and shivering body to the floor and Peter presses the AED button again, letting Melissa jump and shiver.

“SHE’S STILL FIBRILLATING!!”

“FUCK. LOAD 360 again!” Peter presses the defib paddles on Melissa’s chest.

“LOADED!”

“Stand back.”

whoooomp – Melissa jumps and shivers, her breasts bounce wildly around then she lays limp and motionless on the floor.

“BAG HER, I’LL DO THE COMPRESSIONS!”

They start the forceful resus on their nude patient. Cameras filming every breast movement, goose bump and every drop of genital wetness. After 10 minutes of CPR they get no pulse and BP.

Peter grabs a heart-syringe filled with epi and rams the needle in Melissa’s lifeless heart.

After the second epi shot in her heart, Melissa shows no reaction.

Peter spreads her labia and inserts a high powered vibrator into her tight, wet, vagina. “Epi IV.”

Nancy injects. Peter compresses Melissa’s chest and finally they get a weak 71 pulse.

Peter calls 911 and when EMTs arrive they find Melissa’s nude body on the floor with 100/70; 86 BPM and a saturation of 90. Melissa is still ambubagged and transferred to ER where she gets meds to bring her circulation up.

Falling into a light coma she is transferred to ICU (monitoring, on vent, catheter still inside). In coma for 2 weeks, Melissa is visited by Frank every day and he sits beside her, gently touching her privates, waiting for her to wake up.

2 WEEKS LATER

Melissa lays in ICU bed, weakly breathing on her own now, after some critical days.

Frank kisses her nipples and gently slides two fingers carefully inside her vagina, while watching the film Peter gave him on his tablet. He feels that slowly his penis erects and he decides to straddle his wife.

After some gently in-and-out Melissa opens her eyes a bit and whispers “Frank? I can’t feel my heart. Save me…”

Frank starts to use a stethoscope on her uncovered chest and finally starts fake compressions and mtm. Gently, 30:2. He lets Melissa’s nipples harden and in the rhythm of the fake compressions, his finally fully erect penis brings Melissa to a fully monitored orgasm.

[hornytome]

———————————————————

content warning!!! sex stuff ahead!!!

———————————————————————-

this is from a personal essay i wrote recently discussing my butchness. i wanted to write a realistic scenario w my gf that demonstrates how the soft packer and the hard packer can be used in a sex context!! the end is just uhhhhhhhhh……… my own,,,, my own twist. this has graduated from horny text posts to straight up erotica so… enjoy that I guess? ———————————————————————

We’re on the couch and no one is home. My hard packer is nestled in between my thighs and my soft packer is in my boxer briefs. She’s wearing one of my big t-shirts with her panties underneath. Futurama or something is on in the background, but neither of us are paying attention as my fingers tease her through her panties. She has a growing wet spot that I want to bury my face into. She scooches closer and puts her hand on my thigh, slowly rubbing up and down. She shudders when she realizes I’m packing. She slips her hands to the front of my sweats, gently rubbing the bulge in my pants. The slight pressure is enough to make me grind into her hand. I take off my sweats, leaving my dick out in the open.

She shuffles in front of me with her knees on the floor, and takes me into her mouth. I put my hand in her hair as she slowly bobs her head up and down, letting out little moans here and there. I grip her hair a little harder, enough to feel good, and start to guide her head up and down a little faster. I notice she’s touching herself and I can’t help but buck up into her mouth. I can hear how wet she is as her fingers frantically circle her clit. She’s choking a little bit here and there, but that somehow adds to it. She pulls her head up, looking me in the eyes, and begs me to just fuck her already.

I excuse myself to the bathroom to put in the hard packer. She’s touching herself on the couch as I come out, fingers playing with the wetness and her clit. Grabbing her by the hips, I position her over the arm of the couch. Her pussy is pink and puffy and drives me fucking insane. I reach over and stick my fingers in her mouth, letting her take it in and sufficiently wet my fingers. I slip them into her as a taste of what my cock can give her. After a few minutes of teasing, I gently line up and slip inside her. Grabbing her by the hips, I give a couple of shallow strokes to make sure it’s comfortable for her. The second she gives me a little moan, I slam into her. Hard enough to create that slapping sound. I can see her wetness coating the strap every time it slides out of her, stretching her pussy open. I tell her to take my butch cock, to let me put a baby in her. To breed her. I know it drives her fucking wild. Despite previously being pretty quiet, she moans like a whore with penetration. Every stroke hits her g-spot, making her louder and louder.

As good as it feels, I know she needs clit stimulation to cum. That’s when I ramp up the dirty talk, calling her my dumb little princess, wrapping a hand around her throat and jaw while I praise my sweet princess for taking it so well. She can take a minute to cum, but that’s not really an issue for me. It just means I get to fuck her longer. This is when she gets loudest—the neighbors can probably hear her moaning like a slut through the walls. She says she’s close, and I summon all of my strength to ram into her and give her what she deserves. As soon as she cums, I position us back into cuddling on the couch, covering her in little kisses all over. We slump onto each other, exhausted.

I’m convinced I can get her to cum twice. I trail my hands towards her panties again and go in gentle circles. It takes a minute, but I get her to softly moan every few seconds. Sliding down to the floor, I take her sensitive little clit into my mouth, being gentle and using broad strokes. She bucks her hips into my mouth and clenches her stomach if I use even a little bit too much pressure. It takes about 40 minutes, but by the end I have her screaming. Her hands are gripping my hair and she’s practically riding my face. She’s never had a second orgasm before, but I’m happy to provide that. My face is buried in her pussy, wetness dripping down my face. As she gets close, I focus all of my energy on licking that little spot right under her clit. She grips my hair hard enough to tear as she comes, screaming my name and wildly bucking her hips up and down. She gets the little kisses treatment again, and a deep kiss that I hope communicates my love for her.

[f4y3w00d5]

And to finish up for the night here is my brief description of Every Song in Danger Days: True Lives Of The Fabulous Killjoys, by My Chemical Romance

Okay so basically  this is their most recent album, 2014, and it follows the Killjoys as they fight against BL.IND (Better Living Industries) who seek to ELIMINATE all  individuality. (Spoiler: They die saving The Girl in the music video for SING) 

Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na) - 

Upbeat!!! Dancing!!! Fast!!! You jump around screaming about doing crime and partying and sex!!! I love it!!! (you should listen to it after Look Alive Sunshine, which is the intro to the album and its just Dr D speaking, and at the start of Na Na Na, it goes ‘THE FUTURE IS BULLETPROOF! THE AFTERMATH IS SECONDARY!! TIME TO DO IT NOW AND DO IT LOUD! KILLJOYS, MAKE SOME NOISE!!!’) 

Bulletproof Heart 

Uh so this is sorta less fast and stuff but its SO cool and idk how to describe it but its sorta jaunty? First song I listened to by the band!!! (Fav part is ‘and tho, I know, how much you hate this. Are you gonna be the one to save us? From. The black. And hope-less feelin. Will you meet ‘em when the end comes reelin? Hold, your heart, into this darkness. Will it ever be the light to shine you out? Or fail. And leave you stranded? I aint gonna be the one left standin. You aint gonna be the one left standin, and we aint gonna be the ones left standin!!!’) 

SING 

Aaaaaaaaa this ones so cool, took a bit to grow on me, its mostly slow and repetitive but the BRIDGE ‘Cleaned up corporations PROGRESS! Dyin in the PROCESS! Children that can TALK ABOUT IT livin on the WEB-WAYS, people movin SIDEWAYS, sell it til your LAST DAYS, buy yourself the motivation GENERATION NOTHIN! Nothing but a DEAD SCENE! Product of a WHITE DREAM! I am not the SINGER THAT YOU WANTED BUT A DANCER! I REFUSE TO ANSWER! TALK ABOUT THE PAST SIR! WROTE IT FOR THE ONES WHO WANNA GET AWAY! ……. Keep runnin.’ 

Planetary (GO!)  

Okay so like omg. I love this one. Everythings amazin. Starts off slightly slow, and then starts movin faster around the verses? AND THE VIBES!!! Ive got a few favs and ill save them here (I love the way theyre said too-) ‘Ladies and gentleman, truth is now acceptable! Fame! Is now injectable, PROCESS THE PROGRESS, This core is critical, faith is un-a-vail-a-ble, Lives, become incredible-‘ and also ‘Youre unbelievable, ah, so unbelievable, ah, you ruin everything, oh, you better GO HOME! Im unbelievable yeah, im undefeatable yeah, LETS RUIN EVERYTHIN, BLAST IT TO THE BACK ROW- they sell presentable, young! And so ingestible! Sterile and collectable! SAFE, and I cant STAND THAT! This is a letter, by word, is the beretta, the sound, of my vendetta against, the ones that PLANNED IT!’ So uhhhhhhhhh yeah lol 

The Only Hope For Me Is You 

Likeeeeeeeee holy SHIT this one just sorta- idkkkk- ‘Where? Where were you when, all of the embers fell? I still remember them… covered in ash. Covered in glass. Covered in all my friends, I still… think of the bombs they built- IF THERES A PLACEEE THAT I COULD BE, THEN ID BE ANOTHERR MEMORY, CAN I BE THE ONLY HOPE FOR YOU? BECAUSE YOURE THE ONLY HOPE FOR ME! AND IF WE CAN FIND WHERE  WE BELONG, WE’ll Have To make It on our own!! Face all the painnn and takeee it on, because the only hope for me, is you alone…’ its one of the slower ones tho 

Party Poison 

This one starts in Japanese for some reason??? Its hard to explain… another fast and dancy type one ig, but sorta raw-er?  Its sooooooo weird- not one of my favs but its semi popular 

Save Yourself, I’ll Hold Them Back 

Okay so idk how to describe this really- sorta gives Only Hope type thing but faster and sorta rockier? Idk. My fav parts tho!!! ‘Get offfff the ledge, and drop the knife… Not a victim of a victims life! Because… this aint a room fullla suicides- WE’RE BELIEVERSS I BELIEVE TONIGHT-‘  OH AND ONE OF THE MORE POPULAR LINES PEOPLE KNOW ‘Ill tell you well how the story ends, where the good guys die and the bad guys win… (WHO CARES?)- THIS AINT ABOUT ALL THE FRIENDS YOU MADE, BUT THE GRAFFITII THEY WRITE ON YOUR GRAVE-‘ then the last two ‘Im the only friend that makes you cry! Youre a heart attack in black hair dye! So just save yourself, and Ill hold them back tonight….’ And ‘We can live forever if you’ve got the time- YOU MOTHERFUCKER (OHHHWHOAAAA) Youre the broken glass in the mornin light! Be a burnin’ star if it takes all night!’ 

S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W 

OHOHOH APPARENTLY THIS ONE IS TO SOOTHE THE KIDS WHEN THE NUCLEAR BOMBS HIT AND GET THEM INTO THE SHELTER!!! (yes there are nuclear bombs, its post apocalyptic lmao) I love the bridge- ‘Love, love, love wont stop this bomb, bomb, love wont stop this bomb, bomb, love wont stop this… bomb……. Run, run, bunny, run. Run, run, bunny ruuuuuuuuuuun’ One of the slowest in the album also 

Summertime 

Okay so this is prolly my fav? Idk how to describe it tbh….. I know what it describes for me buuuut you don’t wanna hear me be weird about people……. Ill just tell you my fav parts (that I relate to!!!) ‘Terrified of what I’d be, as a kid from what Ive seen… Every single day when people try and put the pieces back together, just to smash them down… turn my headphones up real loud…. I don’t think I need them now…. Cos you stop the noise!!!’ 

DESTROYA 

………………fucked up robot song where you scream and moan. What else is there to say? (the porn bots In the story worship a ‘god’ called Destroya who will supposedly come save them) 

The Kids From Yesterday 

I love this one too. Sorta slow ig. Nostalgic maybe? ‘Well now, this could be the last of all the rides we take…. So hold on tight and don’t look back……… we don’t care about the message or the rules they make…. Ill find you when the sun goes black…..’ 

Vampire Money 

Dance!!! Sex!! Upbeat!!! Fast!!! ‘Three two one, we came to FUCK-‘ and my other fav line ‘and get your finger on the trigger tap the barrel of the gun! Hair back, motherfucker, jet black, SO COOL-‘ 

@terrencetheshark14 you might be interested in my weird ass mcr related ramblings

[jellydishes]

tagged by @broodsys, tagging @skeletonsgeorg and @neonhoneycomb and @diroxy

1. How many works do you have on AO3 uhhhhhhh hang on i gotta combine three different accounts lol. ANSWER: 209

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 383,402 + 194,512 + 6,876 = 584,790

3. What fandoms do you write for? Dragon age 2 and Transformers, mostly, but i randomly branch out on occasion

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? uhhh on my main account?

misfiled, a magnus archives fic, with 314 kudos

mama said there'd be days like this, a bojack horseman story with 246

the trick is not to look down, an avatar: the last airbender fic, with 227

two truths, a disco elysium nsfw story with 184

only our enemies leave roses, an umbrella academy fic, with 177

(bonus round, i won't be linking these bc it's my forbidden account, HOWEVER: 173, 124, 118, 114, and 111 kudos for the top five)

5. Do you respond to comments? i do! often very very late because of my social anxiety, but yes

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? uhhhhhhhhh OH! that would be one breath, two

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? offhand??? maybe bone meal

8. Do you get hate on fics? fairly regularly for my forbidden account, yes, i just got a nasty comment last week

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? every couple of months, yes. typically m/f or f/f in general, [REDACTED] for my forbidden account

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? very occasionally. i did a final fantasy seven/fire emblem or a while back, which fulfills both criteria

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? idk? probably, but i don't worry about it very much

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? not to my knowledge

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? yup! i worked together on a couple dragon age fic before, for instance, as well as on my second forbidden account lol, this one specifically for transformers

14. What's your all time favorite ship? uhhhhhhhh idk probably bethany hawke/literally anybody

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? the sequel fic for believe it's easier for you

16. What are your writing strengths? dialogue and characterization

17. What are your writing weaknesses? action scenes and plot

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? i mean if i knew another language sure

19. First fandom you wrote for? uhhhh either yuyu hakusho or h*rry p*tter

20. Favorite fic you've written? idkkkk uhhh potentially silhouette, which is a hard fic to pitch to people but it's the fic that first saw me experiment with writing an nd protagonist back in the day, so i have a lot of affection for it

[sga-owns-my-soul]

✨💘💫🌈💌 for the writer asks!!!!

writer asks

thanks bestie 🥰🥰

✨What's a fic you've posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit)

The Calm After The Storm, it's a fic i wrote focusing on elizabeth and her reaction to the events of the storm/the eye and her being worried about rodney and honestly i think it's such an adorable elizabeth and rodney friendship fic (bc u know i love them as besties) and idk it's my least read fic and i feel like it deserves more love

💘Is there any posted fic you want to rework/re-edit/re-write?

not really? although i do sometimes think about reworking Not Dating, but More Than Friends to make it explicitly an aroace!john fic where him and rodney are in a qpr. that was the general idea of the fic when i wrote it but i think i could make it more specifically queer

💫what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

i've said before that any time of comment makes me smile, but specifically comments or feedbacks from my friends. nothing makes me smile more than posting a fic i know a mutual was excited for and then getting excited texts from them while they read it 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

lmao all of them? basically anything that includes Actual Plot i will struggle with, i'm a lot better at coming up with emotionally charged one shots 😅

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

oh my god there's so many uhhhhhhhhh okay i'm gonna go with one i'm struggling to find motivation to finish so if you're interested feel free to tell me to finish it 😂 basically the concept is an au john comes to atlantis and immediately realizes that rodney is into him and just takes advantage of rodney and canon john has..... issues with it 😅

"You're not going to shoot. Not when you risk hitting your precious McKay," Sheppard sneered, a cocky grin on his face. John's eyes narrowed.

"I'm not aiming at him," John said calmly before pulling the trigger. The shot rang out, and John supposed he should have felt worse about killing himself; another version of himself at least. But all he could feel was relief as he grabbed Rodney and pulled him towards him.

"Are you okay? Did he- did he touch you? Hurt you?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine John, I- you-" Rodney had blood splattered on his face and was just staring down at the other Sheppard; a perfect hole in the centre of his forehead. Rodney looked back at John. "You killed him."

"I had to."

"But he's, he's *you*."

"No," John said desperately, shaking his head and squeezing Rodney's arms. "I would never use you. I wouldn't ever hurt you. You do- you know that right? I wouldn't- not on purpose. *Never* on purpose."

[finnelfin]

Fic writing meme

Thanks for tagging me, @seethesunny!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

170

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

448,655

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Just The Last of Us right now, but until recently Fringe was my go to fandom.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Dancing or Stumbling at 2,687 Wear Each Other Well at 472 Weight to Kite at 259 Things Shaped in Passing at 152 Your port in my heavy storms at 105 I am never gonna stop being amused that my top three fics are pwp Supergirl smut.

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try, but sometimes my brain sabotages my best intentions.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

uhhhhhhhhh... Fallen, the Fringe fic where I killed off Olivia then stuck her in Peter's brain?

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I dunno. I wrote a bunch of fluffy Fringe fic where nothing bad happened, so one of those, probably.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

There used to be someone who complained on every Fringe fic that paired Olivia with anyone other than Peter, and got especially salty when Peter was paired with Lincoln, so I drew a lot of ire there. :D

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes. All the smut. All kinds. Mostly now it's inline with a longer story and it plot driven, but I'm a big fan of pwp oneshots.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Love me a crossover! Probably Before the Storm, which is Fringe/Human Target, which starred the guy who played John on Fringe, and I mashed those two together pretty well.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, several of my Fringe fics were translated into Russian by an awesome fan.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yeah. It's been a while, but it's a really fun thing.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

uhhhhhhhhhhh, so hard to pick, I don't wanna. Probably the Leverage ot3 of Parker/Hardison/Eliot

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

There's a ton of Fringe shit that's never gonna get looked at again, let alone finished. I just don't see myself even getting back into that frame of mind.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I like writing action, and I think I do pretty well at it.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Dialog is the devil, and it makes me question my entire existence.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Awesome, as long as it's a person doing it an not machine translation.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

The X-Files, probably. Like I can remember anything that long ago.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Things Shaped in Passing

[xxs0d4p0pxx]

Are you happy?

Uhhhhhhhhh welllll maybe? I dunno. I've had a really rough time recently due to the... YKNOW.

It's sometimes hard to be happy when a massive part of who you were gets ripped away from you. And I know it's something stupid to be sad about but it still kinda hurts, yknow? Soda was my coping mechanism after the incident. Sure, it wasn't the greatest, but it helped more than drugs or alcohol ever would. But while I was in rehab, it felt like I was being brainwashed (? I dunno if thats the right word for it but it feels right) into believing that the incident wasn't that bad and my coping mechanisms were shit. They downplayed the effects of what happened, blamed it on me being over dramatic and sent me home with a bottle full of water. The more I think about it, the more I see how it slightly fucked me up. So, nah, I don't think I'm exactly "happy". But as of recently, I have been feeling... better. Although I've been overdramatically sad, I've started realizing the little things in life that make me feel better. Like when emizel asks me to play smash! Or when the Demonz hang out at the hideout with me. Or when Hot Cheeto brings me small rocks and shit! All of these things (and more!) give me something to look forward to when I wake up in the morning. They make my day significantly less shitty and actually bring a smile to my face, which is more than rehabs done for me anyways. So, basically, I may not be happy, but I totally am better!

Idk if any of that shit was coherent but idc >:) you guys get to suffer with my shit storytelling skillz :D (<- the face of a man who didn't reread any of what they wrote)

(Also please go to Rehab if you think need it. My experiences with it are NOT universal. I've met others who have gone and it's changed them for the better. Please don't let my personal experiences stop you from getting the help you need. Don't listen to the roleplayer. Also don't acknowledge that I broke the fourth wall <3)

[friendshipgun]

😈

💖-specifically, when did you start writing, what kind of things did you write, what inspired you, how has your writing journey looked?

and uh i fuckin forget the emoji but character headcanon(s) for mia winters and/or jesse evilwest (and his twin??)

hope these are fun to answer!

Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?

i think maybe you asked this one the last time i reblogged this ask meme but there has also been Fic Progression so i also understand lol. but no, not really. a lot of the time i don't even clock something that might read like that until i get comments about it. i am however mean to Karl and Ethan on purpose and so there is probably splash damage from that lol.

(and i'm gonna have to readmore the rest bc it gets long, apologies) What made you start writing?

i don't know when exactly i started, just that i remember putting little books of "stories" together in elementary school. i wrote what i think technically counts as LOTR fanfic and MLP oc fic lmao. but what i mostly wrote was original fiction. a cousin i was close to as a kid was also big into writing and we ended up attending a summer camp for the arts together in middle school, so i was writing mostly poetry there, but prose too. i also started writing fic with another friend in middle/high school (stuff like pokemon crack fic lmao), but i was still mostly writing original fiction. in high school in particular i got BIG into writing poetry (idk if anyone else knows about allpoetry.com but i sure was spending a heck of a lot of time there), was editor of the high school literary magazine, etc etc. basically i was never not writing. i was also posting way more fic in high school, writing primarily angst at that point and largely for Final Fantasy.

then i went to college and stopped writing for a few years barring academic papers. started taking writing seminars the last few semesters i was there which got me writing again. again mostly original fiction. a lot of supernatural stuff, not really poetry anymore though, which is kind of a shame bc of how much i had liked it. started writing fic again too, a lot of Naruto stuff that i never posted anywhere. then my dad of all people got me into Supernatural and i wrote a bunch of fic for that that i also never posted anywhere. then i went to grad school and the "not writing anything except academic papers" thing started up again rip. really didn't pick it up again as a regular practice until after my dad died a few years back. wrote a bunch of stuff about grief that was uhhhhhhhhh pretty clearly me trying to process shit.

and then it was covid and i lost my job and i was watching playthroughs of re7 and re8 almost concurrently going "but what if you put Heisenberg in the swamp WHAT THEN." as for what inspires me, i guess just about everything? like the number of stories i wrote set in Japan after i'd studied abroad there...is a lot. and with fic it's just like "i just think it would be neat if character i like was in a Situation." when i was writing poetry a lot of it was teenage angst bc i was in high school but i'd also write about cities or people or fantasy epics. anyway this is already really long but yeah basically if i think about it for long enough that it becomes "I Just Think They're Neat" territory i'll want to write something about it.

Mia Winters Headcanon:

she doesn't trust easily and has for a long time kept things about herself secret, or lied outright, as a way to protect herself. she'd been doing this long before she met Ethan and then after...it was habit. and it was easy to keep things about her work secret because it did feel like she was protecting him. and it wasn't like it was going to be forever, she was planning on getting out. she was working on it. she hadn't even thought of something like that--a normal life--until she'd met Ethan, and then it had seemed like...like something attainable. there wouldn't be the need for secrets then, when it was just the two of them. (or so she told herself: it's like pulling off her skin, being that exposed, having nothing between herself and someone else. being seen. completely seen.) anyway this got away from me a bit lmao. but basically i like to try to reconcile her going back to lying post-re7 as a defensive move to protect herself, especially when the BSAA knows everything about her past. i don't think she was intentionally trying to hurt Ethan or anything, just that after Dulvey she'd feel ever more the need to have those secrets as a buffer, combined with a deep, deep fear that Ethan would hate her if he knew. (this is how i am personally smoothing down Mr. Capcom's writing decisions.) Jesse Evil West Headcanon: he has had a crush on Edgar since he was a kid and is outright tormented by it. i imagine him taking issue with how his dad treated Edgar. or feeling jealous of Edgar's loyalty to his dad. just let's give Jesse more issues regarding his dad lmao. the little joke he makes in the game about Edgar kissing him is a ""joke"" but like he is internally yelling UNLESS?????? as vehemently as he can.

thinking also about post-game events, how Bloom was joking around with Edgar and Jesse can absolutely get jealous about that too, like just he's a mess and i don't know if it's better (worse) if he has actually confessed to Edgar and was shot down or has just never confessed to Edgar for fear of getting shot down.

and if you want to bring in Jesse's twin (who is also named Jessie i guess we can just give him an extra vowel) i think it's very funny if both of them alternately fight over and tag team Edgar. co-op, as it were.

[clumsyclifford]

17 and 37 for the ask game pls? — ə

hello !!

17. What highly specific AU do you want to read or write even though you might be the only person to appreciate it? well uhhhhhhhhh wellllll the answer is. the answer is jewish summer camp AU. i am here to confess ive been in the process of writing a summer camp AU (admittedly not jewish) for like two years now ? wait that number can't be right. maybe a year and a half. but anyway going to and then working at my jewish summer camp changed my life but it's one of those things that if you don't get you just Cannot Get It At All and it's so hard to explain that it's not kitschy it's like a legit life changing experience so like whatever this fic will never exist and that's okay

37. Promote one of your own “deep cut” fics (an underrated one, or one that never got as much traction as you think it deserves!). What do you like about it? why am i about to promote literally the OTHER fic i wrote for ainslee's halloween fic event. i dont know but it's happening. so like. last year for the halloween fic event i distinctly recall a big ol struggle to get something written, and then i finally did write something and that something ended up being we can be pirates, which is a fic where luke and calum babysit luke's niece and then calum takes her trick or treating. it's short but it's also The Cutest Fic In The World. not to say that about my own fic but oh my god luke and calum with children??? they're literally so adorable and for what reason. also i LOVE rosie (the niece) she's my beloved girl and i treasure her endlessly. one thing i really like about this fic is that it's got little moments here and there of luke lowkey parenting rosie and basically being a great uncle AND then the whole thing with the candy at the end look i know i wrote it but i can't with them. i WON'T with them.

questions for fic writers!

[andillwriteyouatragedy]

me thinking about the fanfiction i want to read: :)

me remembering the fact that i have to write it first: :(

[caker-baker]

Roommate

When the civilian first pressed the villain for answers, the villain played the unsuspecting act perfectly.

It was the eighth time, when the irrefutable evidence piled on, and the civilian had snapped to the point of holding the villain at gunpoint that the villain let their facade melt away. Letting Civilian descend into madness did nothing.

So that left the villain with one response.

At the barrel they stared, then the civilian, back to the barrel. They shoved their hands into their pockets and made a clicking sound with their tongue.

“I really wish you wouldn’t.” Then they looked back up at the trembling civilian, and stepped violently forward. “Boo.”

They didn’t need their powers to make the civilian drop the gun, or fall to the ground. All someone needed, really, was reputation.

“Were you ever my friend!” The civilian shouted, scrambling backwards as the villain matched the pace, kicking the gun away as they walked towards them.

“Course I was. If I wasn’t, I would keep manipulating you until you fully believed you’d lost it.”

“You just let me think I was crazy eight times over instead.” The civilian spat, hands reaching the wall, barrier being met.

“Well, sure. I doubt you’d want me to find out if you were a villain. But at this point…” the villain took their hands out of their pockets, acting as if they were weighing something. “Pros and cons, you know?”

They offered a hand to the civilian, who was still against that wall, and still scared out of their mind.

“Well?” The villain asked expectantly. “We can have a mature conversation about this, or I could have the entire building on lockdown if that’s what it would take for you to talk to me.”

“No you couldn’t.”

“Do you want to try me?”

The civilian took the villain’s hand.

“There we go.” The villain said, leading their friend to the couch. “This is going well, don’t you think?”

“Don’t be an ass.” The civilian snapped, ripping their hand away as soon as possible. “You lied to me.”

“Would you have stayed my friend if I told you the truth straight away? I’m going to be honest, I have trouble making friends in my personal life to begin with. I wasn’t going to let something as trivial as work matters get in the way of spending time with you.”

“Work matters. They kill people and call it work matters.” The civilian muttered.

“Hey, that’s not fair. Killing people isn’t my only job. I do other things.”

“You’re the reason my office building got blown up!”

“Hey.” The villain said in a serious tone, pointing a finger at the civilian. “Hey. I made sure no one was in there that time. And you got virtual work days.”

The civilian’s fingers twitched. “You can’t even see the wrongness in that?”

That seemed to have some affect on the villain, who drew themselves up a bit more.

“It’s not like I don’t, I understand it’s wrong, I just-”

“You just don’t care.” The civilian finished for them.

“Exactly! I need to institute my line of power, and things sometimes get in the way of that.”

The villain looked at the civilian, wondering if it was clicking.

“Your line of power.” They echoed. “What, like henchmen or something?”

“Or something. Just starting small.” The villain placed both hands on their knees, curious how to proceed from here. “I need power. I need a lotta power, Civilian.”

“You already terrorize most of the city, half of us are terrified of you!” The civilian countered. “What do you need more power for?”

The villain’s eyes slid over the civilian. “You’re still scared of me?”

“You’re scary. What do you want me to say?”

“I want you to shrug, act as if you had long seen this coming, and ask what time I’m hosting game night next week.”

The civilian pursed their lips. “I really don’t think I can do that.”

“I know. You couldn’t anyways.” A pause. “I really don’t want to lose my friend.”

“We’re at a crossroads, then.”

“You know there are some reaaally cool perks that come with being a villain’s friend.” The villain said, fully turning to the civilian, who flattened themselves a little further into the couch.

“Yeah?”

“I can fly, if you ever wanted to know what that’s like. If you ever need help moving, super strength gets the job done. My basic senses are uncanny, I can hear the pigeons crowding on the roof, I know where the weird sounds in your house are coming from.”

“I know. There’s a few more, aren’t there?”

“Yeah, a few.” This was the hard part. “I don’t like it, but I can accept if you don’t want to be around me anymore.”

“That’s…really relieving to hear, because I-”

“That I can accept.” The villain interrupted. “I can’t risk my identity being exposed.”

Something clicked, and the civilian scrambled once more, rushing to the door.

“Hey, hold it!” The villain commanded, appearing suddenly in front of the civilian, who had started backing up.

The villain simply walked forward. “I’m not going to hurt you, Civilian, I would never. I know on the outside that I might seem cruel, but-” They noticed the gun that had been kicked away, they noticed that the civilian had been eyeing the thing, too.

Villain was faster. “Can you not?” They asked holding their frantic friend back with one arm, grabbing the weapon with the other. “Thanks.” They let them go. “As I was saying-”

Civilian backed farther away once the villain had released their hold. “Stay away from me! Don’t come any closer!”

“I’m not going to kill you, Civilian! I just need to ensure that you won’t go telling someone who I am.”

“I won’t, I won’t! I promise! Please go!” The civilian hit the same wall, allowing the villain the perfect opportunity to grab their wrists, keeping them still.

“While I’m sure you won’t, there are some ruthless people out there, and if any of them have even an inkling of an idea that you know who I am, they’ll stop at nothing to-” they took in the civilian’s somewhat trembling form. “You understand my point.”

“So you kill me first, is that it?”

“Ah, no. I already said I wouldn’t. Think of this next part as becoming roommates.”

“You can’t kidnap me!” The civilian protested, trying to wrench free from the villain’s grip.

“Well, the other option is erasing your memory and-”

“Do that!”

“And that is an experimental procedure.” With one hand, the villain held Civilian back, with the other, they pinched the bridge of their noise. “Look. I don’t take joy or pleasure in this. Your safety is a priority here. And believe me, you’re my best friend, but rooming with you isn’t ideal. I’ve seen how often you actually wipe down the microwave.”

“Don’t talk to me about my habits! You kill people!”

The villain tilted their head side to side. “If this is going to be a common complaint I’m going to have to get some ear plugs, won’t I?”

“Villain, please. I like my life, my routine, my job. I’ll be careful. I’ll be so careful, no one will ever even have an idea that I know.”

“That’s what you think. As we speak, a list of employees in your office building is being handed over to the heroes, and they aren’t known for keeping secrets well. It won’t be long before they get to your name, and question why I chose a day that everyone was cleared out. Why I made sure everyone was out. It won’t be forever. Just until the memory erasing gets perfected or all my recent sloppy loose ends get tied. Hey, look at me.”

The civilian was having trouble controlling their breathing. Their limbs felt heavy, their eyelids drooped.

“In and out, ok? It’ll be like a vacation.” The villain promised, gently pulling the civilian into their arms before they fully lost consciousness.

All in all, the villain was not happy with themselves. They had thought through every scenario, they really didn’t want to subject their closest, and maybe only friend to this life. They would try to make it as vacation like as possible for them, but the villain doubted the civilian would be up for pretending that the luxuries given to them weren’t earned through blood.

The civilian really wasn’t going to get over that killing thing.

The villain groaned, thinking about the surely awkward nature of the upcoming months, or year, or maybe years. However long it took to make sure that Civilian could no longer be a potential target. Ah, c’est la vie.

Those were future problems, very near future problems, but future problems nonetheless. But for now, they had to focus on making sure the civilian got back with them safely.

[luvknow]

out of my mind | lee minho

genre: lee minho x fem!reader feat. jisung, woojin, & chan | angst ; fluff ; science experiment au ; kind of soulmate au ; “maniac” tv series au ; au within an au ; mentions of mental illness summary: you and minho are two of ten strangers who are test subjects for a series of pills that supposedly cures all disorders of the mind. while under the influence of the pills, you fall into your dream world that overlaps with minho’s every time. as you two live multiple lives as partners in crime, lovers, or simply strangers in passing in the dream realm, the bond between you only strengthens as the testing continues.  wc: 15.6k a/n: based off of the netflix show��“maniac” and this gifset i made! this is a wild genre i’m not used to, in both writing and reading, so i hope it’s not too far-fetched for this fandom and i hope you guys like it!

You can’t count on your hands how many e-mails your school would spam you with about participating in some sketchy experiments with promises of some pocket cash. What you did know though was that each time you received one, you trashed it right away. What was the point in wasting so much time for such little money? Might as well just get a job.

Last week’s email was the only one you didn’t throw away.

Essentially, the email went like this:

Participate in District Pharmaceuticals’ trial for their new and radical product, The ABC pills! Designed by Dr. Kim Woojin, The ABC pills are a sequence of pills made to cure anything and everything about the mind, from mental illness to heartbreak, without any side effects. Our company is in the final stages of testing, just before we are able to release this on the market, where participants will test out the effectiveness of the full sequence for the very first time. With your help, you will be helping us change the lives of billions.

As a participant, you will:

Stay at our facility for an extended period of time (food and housing provided).

Consume and test the potency of the pills within that time frame.

Answer post-testing questions to help us better understand the effectiveness of the pill.

All participants who complete the entire testing scheme will receive a whole year of free tuition, regardless of whether or not testing passes FDA approval. Are you interested? Stop by District Pharmaceuticals for more information.

This company was obviously catering to your young adult needs, as nothing else could convince you to do something this stupid besides being offered a whole tuition-free year at school. It was one thing when hospitals would ask to monitor your sleep patterns or your diet and exercise or take multiple pints of your blood, but this company was asking you to ingest not just one drug, but a whole sequence of them! That meant they would only get stronger as the pills progressed, which could mean a high potential for you or someone to experience side-effects that the company claimed wouldn’t happen, develop a dependency, or even die of overdose. For a reward that generous though, you expected the risk would be at a maximum.

For now, as you stood in line at District Pharmaceuticals, the only thing you had to worry about was whether or not they would allow you to test. You would think that most people in line have seen a professional and have been diagnosed properly with whatever they had, so obviously their chances were much higher than yours. You’ve never been to a therapist, or a psychologist, or a psychiatrist, but you didn’t need a professional to determine that something was off about you. When there were days you couldn’t get out of bed; or when you cried for three hours straight so you could sleep; or when your wrists bled but you felt nothing; you figured that they would up your resume even if it was just a little bit.

Even with such a high reward, you had to be out of your damn mind to be signing ten pages worth of consent forms along with a questionnaire with only a backpack full of your belongings in the building today. Maybe the pills could cure your stupidity, too.

After completing the forms, you walked back up to the counter to hand them to a lady behind the counter. She told you to wait so she could confirm a denial or approval of your stay in just a couple of minutes. You took the time to look around and see who else was willing to go through such high-risk testing. Though your email provided promises of free tuition, some of the people here looked way beyond their years of college. Sure, they could be just older folks who decided to go back to school, but there was no way all of the potential participants here were like that... You had to have been the youngest person here.

You finally saw someone your age next to you in another line. A boy with dark brown hair handed his consent forms over to the same lady and waited patiently alongside you. He must have felt your gaze on him as he turned to face you and gave you a friendly smile.

He looked exhausted - like maybe the testing was his last chance at something.

After shyly returning the gesture, you quickly turned away, deciding that maybe it was best that you mind your own business in a place like this. Who knows what kind of skeletons people were hiding?

The same lady came back and stood between you and the boy on her side of the counter. She handed you and him laminated cards on a red lanyard. You had number one and he had number nine.

“Take a seat in the waiting area. When it’s time, we’ll call you both up.”

You and the boy gave each other a quick look, questioning the vagueness of her statement. Did this mean you both passed and were approved for testing? You decided not to question her though, as she looked annoyed that you both hadn’t moved since she said anything. Before she took your badges away, you did as you were told and walked towards the waiting area with the boy following closely behind you.

Minho sat across from you in the waiting area and tried to figure out what was it about you that made you familiar. It wasn’t the clothes you wore, or the way you tied your hair, and it certainly wasn’t the way your eyebrows raised as you read your badge, but there was just something about you that made him believe he knew you.

Maybe it was in a dream.

The way you looked at your badge must have meant there was something interesting on it, so Minho took a look at his, too.

9. Lee Minho Occupation: Student Defense Mechanism: 7 Level: X X X X X

Nothing else was on it. Not his birthday, height, weight, IQ, literally nothing else that would indicate he was a good candidate for testing. It seemed like District Laboratories only cared about his occupation and his defense mechanism, but he was unsure what ‘level’ meant and if five X’s was a good or a bad sign.

He wondered what was on your badge.

“Hey.”

Your voice pulled him away from his thoughts. As if reading his mind, you openly exposed your badge to him and pointed to the bottom line, where your ‘level’  held the same five X’s. Your name was _____ _____, you were also a student,  and your defense mechanism was four.

“What level are you?” you asked, hoping it didn’t sound as stupid to him as it did to you.

“U-Uh, I also have five.”

“Really?”

“The Level just means the risk of the study,” another voice chimed in. “It has nothing to do with you personally.”

A couple seats down was a boy with blond hair who was also around your guys’ age. He didn’t look up from his cell phone as he said those words nonchalantly, indicating that he seemed familiar with this whole process.

“Have you done this before?” the boy across from you asked.

“A few times. Enough for them to pay for a bit of my schooling, at least,” the handsome blond boy finally turned his attention to the both of you, finding it amusing that you two seemed terrified of what’s to come. “I only participated up to Level Three testing, though. I have no idea what Level Five entails, but hey, high risk high reward.”

“You're not scared or anything...?” you asked.

“Nah ~ I’ve tested here plenty of times to know that these things are harmless, regardless of which Level I’m in. Is this your guys’ first test?” Both you and the other boy nod. “Ah, not surprised - you two seem like newbies.”

“Odd numbers, please report to Gate Three. Odd numbers, please report to Gate Three,” said a voice over the intercom.

“That’s us,” the blond sighed, slinging his roughed-up duffel bag over his shoulder. As his tag swung around, you noticed that the number on his ID was five.

Numbers one through nineteen lined up in numerical order at the gate, where two heavy-set body guards stood at the entrance and one walked up and down the line confiscating all electronics, including cell phones. You should be intimidated and feeling vulnerable without your phone, but somehow you felt calm in their presence, like you hoped they would be the ones to protect and save you throughout the duration of this experiment.

When the doors swung open, you saw the most handsome man you’ve seen in your entire life wearing a long white coat.

“Hello, everyone,” he greeted happily. “My name is Dr. Kim Woojin and I will be leading this experiment for the entire duration. If you will all follow me, I will take you to the facilities and we will have an overview of what’s to come.”

Dr. Woojin gives you a gentle smile before gesturing you to follow, to which you gladly obliged. With a man like him being the lead, maybe the testing wouldn’t be so bad after all.

He led you and the single file line behind you through a long, dark corridor with no windows. You and the other nine subjects followed Dr. Woojin mindlessly while trying to pay attention to the history lesson he gave you as you walked through a confusing series of different doors and hallways. He talked about the time his father found the cure for the common cold, how his grandfather found the cure for HIV/AIDS, and how his older brother just released the famous cancer-killing pills out on the market for hospitals all around the world to purchase. Dr. Woojin had some big shoes to fill.

He must have recited the history enough times to know that as soon as he finished, you all arrived to the facility. Through the sliding doors, you were the first to enter a huge room shaped like a perfect cube with no windows to the outside. In the center was a circular table with ten chairs meant for all of the test subjects with a bright, white light that simulated a sunny day shining down on it. On one of the walls was a huge window that looked into another room with another set of ten chairs and two metal plates at the headrest - a room you promised to look into more later. The third and only thing that mattered to you was the wall that contained all of the beds. Well, more like sleeping pods or incubators arranged like a morgue. No matter the look, since the mattress was soft and the blankets smelled like fresh linen.

When you popped out of your pod, you noticed that number nine took the pod right next to yours. For that, you were thankful, hoping that either he or number five could be your friend until this was all over, whenever that was.

You sat next to each other at the round table and you wondered if he felt the same familiarity about each other as you did. You’re not sure what it was, but you found yourself dangerously less nervous than you should be and you think it’s because of number nine. Not knowing his real name was killing you, so without him noticing, you took a peak at his card.

His name was Lee Minho and his defense mechanism was seven, which doesn’t seem much higher than yours, but if this was on a scale out of ten, then you were screwed.

Lee Minho... the name was unfamiliar, but you thought it suited him nicely.

“Welcome to your testing facility,” Dr. Woojin began. “You are sitting in the common area, where all of you will stay when we are not testing or conducting a post-testing review. You can talk to each other, read a book, do some crafts, play a game - we have provided endless amounts of entertainment during your awake hours. The room over there,” he said, pointing to the huge window, “is where the actual testing takes place. I will explain more later tonight when we conduct our first test. Next, are the sleeping pods, which you all have already settled into, the bathrooms are over there, and lastly, this is the round table, where all meals will be served.”

“Question,” the blonde boy piped. “How long is this testing?”

“Six days.”

“Wait, a week? That’s it? For a Level Five testing?”

“Correct.”

Dr. Woojin didn’t elaborate further on the topic, raising the suspicion of all the test subjects. As much as he wanted to, Number five didn’t press the matter further.

“The testing scheme will go as followed: as I said, tonight we will conduct our first test, which will be for Pill A, followed by a post-evaluation. Tomorrow we won’t test. The following evening will be Pill B and a post-evaluation, then another day of no testing. On the last night, we will be testing Pill C, which will go into the morning the next day. A final evaluation will be recorded, and from there, we will determine whether or not you are cured.”

“Just like that, we’ll all be cured?” Minho muttered incredulously.

“I wouldn’t say ‘just like that’... It may not work the same way for you as it does with someone else who was cured. That’s what this study is for, though, to make sure that everyone will be cured.”

“In just a week...” you trailed off. There was no way this only took six days. There had to be a catch.

“We will discuss more later tonight in the testing room. For now, please enjoy your dinner. I will see you all at midnight.” With that, he left the room.

“Cryptic, but ok,” you scoffed as a plate of food was placed in front of you. At least it looked good.

“He has to be hiding something from us, right?” Minho whispered to you. “There’s no way this is that easy...”

“Like he said, it may not be that easy.”

“But come on, look at all of us! Clearly we all have a lot of damage and it’s impossible that three pills would be capable of curing all of us in six days, right!?”

“Well, people once said curing the common cold and HIV was impossible and look where his bloodline got us.”

“You’re uncomfortably optimistic.”

“One of us has to be. Lee Minho doesn’t sound like an optimistic name, anyways.”

An embarrassed blush spread across his cheeks when you said his name. “Agree to disagree then,” Minho sighed.

He prayed that this would all be worth it in the end.

Dinner was quiet due to the fact that everyone was still trying to get used to the fact that testing had technically already started. Jisung, number five’s name you found out, was the most calm out of everyone. Naturally, since he’s done this plenty of times, but he was still wary.

“Something doesn’t add up,” he told you and Minho in secret by the sleep pods. It was only 9:00 PM when you three met up. “Never, in my two years of being a test dummy has the testing scheme lasted shorter than a couple of months. A couple of weeks is one thing, but six days? To complete an entire Level Five testing scheme!? That’s sus, you know?”

“Do you think we’re in danger?” Minho asked.

“We might be. Even so, we signed a contract and consent forms... We knew what we were getting into when we signed them. Legally, we can’t back out.”

“You think we’ll die?” you asked nonchalantly while casually flipping through a magazine. After listening to Jisung and Minho panic for over an hour, you were begging to get bored and desensitized of the fear.

“No ~ They wouldn’t let that happen to us...! I think...” Jisung gulped.

Until midnight, you three stayed together and talked about life outside of these sleeping pods. Turns out, all three of you had a lot in common. You all also agreed that despite going through your own struggles with mental illnesses, the other test subjects probably had it much worse. Everyone else’s IDs had a green sticker on them, while the three of you had red, which Jisung said it indicated that everyone else was mature enough to actually seek help while you three didn’t have the time, money, or patience for all of that.

The one thing you noticed about Jisung’s ID was that his defense mechanism was eight - double the amount of yours.

“Do you know what it means?” you asked.

He shrugged. “I’ve never had that section on my ID before. If it’s out of ten, I think Minho and I are good. You, on the other hand...”

“Lucky me, huh?”

“Maybe it’s not important,” Minho reassured. “Could be just a random stat. Like your blood type, or something.”

“Even if it was important, it’s not like they would just blindly throw you into knowing that.”

That, and Minho’s gentle smile, calmed you down a little bit. “Thanks, guys.”

A few minutes before the clock struck midnight, the entire cube fell silent, anxiously awaiting orders from our doctor. Everything was so up in the air at this point that the best you could do was expect the unexpected.

On the dot, Dr. Woojin walked into the room.

“Good evening,” he greeted. “Let’s all go to the testing room.”

The testing room was a lot bigger from the inside. Ten reclining chairs were nailed down in a circle all facing each with two large metal plates hung on each side of the head rest. The security guards instructed all of you to choose one to sit in and you, Minho, and Jisung decided to sit next to each other. Once the seats were chose, the security guards handed each of you a small cup with a pill shaped like the letter A.

“Tonight we will be studying the effects of Pill A. Out of the three pills, Pill A has the lowest concentration of the active ingredient, so the team behind the double mirror,” Dr. Woojin paused, pointing behind him, “will be making sure that everything is within the range of that concentration. All of our data is measured through the metal plates on each side of your head. The data measured is just like any other sleep study - brain waves and eye movement are measured through the built-in electroencephalograph and the electro-oculogram. The duration of the test will take six hours, around the average time a person spends going through all of the sleep cycles. That’s about it - the other two tests will be conducted similarly. The only precaution that I have to offer is that you may experience extremely vivid dreams to the point where you remember every detail, to which we will use in our post-evaluation. Are there any questions?”

No one raised their hand even though it looked like you all had a million questions to ask.

“Perfect.” Dr. Woojin and the body guards exited the testing room to go in the room where his team would be monitoring your sleep. “Please take the pill,” he ordered over the intercom.

You, Minho, and Jisung gave each other one last look before downing the chalky, cherry-tasting pill without water. You felt the sedative kick in right away like it was the strongest form of Nyquil you had ever experienced.

“Lights are dimmed. EEG and EOG are on. Pills are ingested. Testing will begin in three... two... one...”

You’re in a coffee shop sitting at one of the tables in the corner by the large window-wall, casually flipping through one of your many dating apps waiting for your partner to arrive. He was always fashionably late. Even if you purposely told him to come at an earlier time, he saw right through you and would still arrive later than you expected. Luckily, you hadn’t ordered anything yet, so at least your drink wouldn’t be cold.

“Sorry I’m late,” Minho said half-assed as he plopped down on the chair in front of you. He held two cups of coffee in his hands, to which you gladly took one.

“No, you’re not.”

“I bought our drinks, so we’re even.” From his backpack, he pulled out several folders stuffed with papers and documents and dropped all of them on the table. “Are you ready for this?”

“Why are we doing this here? This is so not discreet, like what kind of a spy are you!?”

“That’s the beauty of it, love - they would never expect us to be this stupid that we’d be discussing our business in the open like this.”

“If I die on the clock, I’m blaming it all on you and will spend my time in the afterlife haunting you until you join me,” you scoffed before sipping your coffee. “So who’s our target this time?”

“Son Chaeyoung, heiress of one of the country’s most popular airline companies. She’s supposedly one of ten people in the entire world who owns a pair of the famous pink diamond heart-shaped drop earrings.”

Her name sounds painfully familiar. You recognized the stinging pain in your chest at the sound of her name, but chose to ignore it, unsure of why this was happening to you.

A whistle escaped your lips upon hearing her history. “Must be nice to be rich.”

“Actually, her fiance gave it to her.”

“That must be nice, too.”

“... Anyways, the plan is to go to the party she’s hosting at her mansion and steal it then.”

“You and I are going to steal from her own home?” Minho nodded casually as if it was a simple favor he was asking of you. “How do you plan on doing that without getting caught!?”

“Seduce her, of course.”

“Yeah, like you could seduce an heiress,” you scoffed.

"Wanna bet on it?” he challenged with a smirk.

“Didn’t you just say she’s engaged? Isn’t this really risky?”

“When have either of those factors ever stop us before!?” You fell silent at his truthful statement. Seduction was just one of your’s & Minho’s many fields of expertise. Sure, you’ve had your fair share of flirting with engaged men just for Minho to snatch up whatever was on the wanted list, but that didn’t mean you never felt bad about it. “Look, the resell price we could make from this set is far too good for us to pass up. Think about it, we wouldn’t have to heist for months! We can take a break and buy a ticket to any corner of the world - just you and I. You’ve always talked about going to Singapore, right? Let’s go there!”

There’s something in you that says that seducing this poor girl for her beautiful jewelry given by her fiance is totally wrong and that you should move on to some other poor rich sucker, but there’s a stab in your chest whenever you hear her name and for whatever reason, you really wanted to take those earrings away from her.

“Fine, I’m in.”

“Yes!” Minho cheered, rubbing his greedy little hands together. This was the type of adrenaline that he lived for. “Let the heist begin.”

For the duration of your time at the coffee shop and up until the weekend, you and Minho spent nearly every waking hour together coordinating the master plan. You were in charge of getting the blueprints of her mansion, finding out what type of man she was into, and somehow receiving an invite to the party. Minho was in charge of the attire, the equipment, and the itinerary. The blueprint was the most important tool in the heist, which allowed you two to gauge where her bedroom was so no time was wasted aimlessly wandering around. Of course, her bedroom was at the farthest corner relative to where the party was being held, but you’ll make your way there somehow. You just hoped Minho would be able to distract her long enough.

“How did you manage to get an invite?” Minho called from your room as you were getting dressed in the bathroom.

“I had Jeongin hack into her assistant’s laptop and add us to the guest list. We couldn’t get a physical copy of the invite, but apparently that’s just for aesthetics - they still check off names at the door.”

“That’s incredible! We should hire that Jeongin kid one day. Maybe we can be a threesome.”

“That sounds like a great idea as long as you don’t call us a threesome.”

Minho halted his snickering when you waltz out of the bathroom head-to-toe in the ensemble he picked out, jewelry on and everything. He’s seen you in this type of clothing all the time, but you were always a sight for his sore eyes.

He whistled lowly while cheekily eyeing you up and down. “Lookin’ good, partner.”

“Not so bad yourself,” you grinned while you smoothed out his suit. “Are you wearing your Bluetooth set?”

He tucked his hair to show you the little pod in his ear. “Yup. Got your cute and tiny gun?” he teased.

"It’s not cute and tiny, it’s stealthy and practical,” you pouted while exposing the gun strapped in by your garter.

“Whatever you say. But anyways, I think we’re set. Are you ready, partner?”

“As I’ll ever be. Let’s get our tickets to Singapore.”

Minho drove his fancy all black car that had those butterfly doors that opened upwards just so he could flex on all the other rich men who thought they were all that. You thought it was a bit too extra and might raise suspicion from some wary guests, but there was no turning back now. On the way to the mansion, you quizzed Minho on the topics that would make Chaeyoung fall head-over heels for him.

“Ok, so she collects art pieces from all over the world, right? She loves the Baroque period, but she’s gained a huge interest in Surrealism so I’ll say some shit like I have an original Dali piece, or something.”

“Hey, that’s pretty good. I'm feelin’ pretty seduced right now.”

“Really!? That’s a good sign coming from you,” Minho chuckled cutely.

The mansion was nothing short of what you expected it to be. It was huge, with white columns, each covered with flowers that were different shades of pink. The valet took Minho’s car keys once he approved both of your names on the guest list and that was the green light for you two to start the heist.

The inside was naturally even more stunning than the outside. From the marble tiles, to the staircase, and to the shining chandelier, everything was all-white and gilded in gold. You’ve seen more extravagant mansions, but for an heiress no older than you and Minho, this was pretty impressive.

“All right, partner - seduce away,” you teased.

“Will do. Don’t get caught or die or anything, ok?"

“No promises. Give me the green light whenever you’re ready.”

With that, you both went your separate ways. It still felt like you were near each other though, because every once in a while one of you would comment on some cool thing you saw in one of the infinite rooms or hallways. While exploring the depths of Chaeyoung’s palace all the while trying to layout the blueprints you memorized, you noticed there was a tall staircase just as beautiful as the main one that was closed off with a velvet rope.

“I think I’m close,” you muttered to Minho in your earpiece. “I found the staircase that led up to one of the corners of the second floor.”

“Hey, great. But don’t go in there yet - I think Chaeyoung’s still making her rounds.”

It wasn’t until two hours into the party after you and Minho devoured in hors d’oeuvres and painfully resisted champagne when Chaeyoung finally approached your handsome partner who was eyeing the Vanitas Flower Still Life by Willem van Aelst.

“This is one of my favorite paintings in my collection,” you heard Chaeyoung say through your earpiece.

“A fan of the Baroque period?” Minho replied.

“Oh, yes. I can’t explain why, but there’s something about this style that just draws you in, right? Maybe it’s the way the pastels sit on a dark negative space.”

You wondered if he understood what any of those words meant. “I’m more of an Impressionist kind of man.” Minho ignored your ugly snort when he said that. “Monet is a classic favorite, you know?”

“Agreed!”

“But do you know what my absolute favorite movement is?”

“What is it?”

“Surrealism.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I have an original Dali piece hanging in my study.”

When Chaeyoung bit her lip and grabbed Minho’s hand to take him to God knows where, he figured he got this in the bag. As the two of them were walking through a crowd of loud and drunk guests, he took this opportunity to talk into his earpiece.

“Go now.”

“Huh... That was easy.”

“So is she, I guess.”

As quick as you came in, you hopped over the velvet rope and ran up the stairs. You ditched your heels in one of the laundry chutes in the process, as you found out that even the second floor was laid out in white marble. If you remembered the blue prints correctly, you knew that her bedroom was on the other side of that floor level, which might not sound so far in a normal home, but considering that was the size of a hotel, you had to figure out how you would make your way over without getting caught.

It was hard to stay focused when you could hear sloppy kissing on the other end.

“Can you be quiet, for Christ’s sake!? All I hear is saliva!” you whispered.

Minho ignored you scolding and continued on with his task. So you wouldn’t puke all over her nice floors, you lowered the volume and kept going. This was going to be a long night.

After avoiding Chaeyoung’s house staff and running down several long hallways, you were finally face-to-face with the only black door in the whole house. This had to be her room.

“Hey, I think I found it,” you told Minho.

“Mm,” was all you received, either as a confirmation or he was in the moment still with his new heiress friend.

The door was unlocked and inside was a man dressed in his pajamas casually sitting on the ginormous king-sized bed. Panic began to rise in your chest and you think you have to use your gun, but he didn’t seemed startled when he saw you. Rather, he gave you a gentle smile that flipped your heart and a simple wave. There’s something familiar about him and it pained you the same way when you saw or heard of Chaeyoung.

“Hi,” he greeted. “Can I help you...?”

Fuck. “O-Oh...! This isn’t the bathroom?” you burst out into a loud giggle that hid your panic. “Silly me! I must have drank too much champagne.”

“Yeah, that can happen. There’s a bathroom around the corner if you need it.”

“Oh, thanks!” Before the handsome man could say anything else, you run into the room next door.

On the other end of the line, you heard Minho excuse himself to find a bathroom of his own. “What happened!?” he whispered.

“Her fiance is in the bedroom! What do I do?”

“Guess you have to seduce him, too.”

“You’re not serious.”

“Do you want to get the fuck out of here, or not!? I’m sacrificing myself by seducing Chaeyoung, you should, too!”

“Oh, shut up, you’re enjoying this way more than you should be,” you mumbled. “Fine. I’ll let you know what’s up.”

“Ok, good. I guess I’ll get back to making out with my target now...”

You ignored his last remark and check the time on your watch. The hands read 00:00, but that couldn’t have been right... You swear that you and Minho have been there for hours beyond that. The seconds hand was stuck right on the twelve mark and you’re not sure if that’s a coincidence or if something was up. You let it slide, thinking that your watch was simply broken.

You invited yourself into their bedroom once more, making sure to give the fiance a knock on the door as a warning. Again, the man is not surprised nor is he upset. Instead, he found this quite amusing.

He found you quite cute, too.

“Can I help you again?”

“Yeah, uh... I’m not feeling too hot. Do you mind if I sit with you...?”

“Please,” he encouraged, patting down a spot next to him. “I’m watching some trashy drama. I hope you don’t mind.”

“No, not at all! I love shitty dramas. But why aren’t you downstairs with everyone else?”

“Ugh, I just hate huge parties like this. I tell Chaeyoung every time that I never want to attend these functions, but you know her, she just goes and does whatever she wants. I’m just her fiance, after all,” a tired chuckle escaped his lips. “I’m sorry, I don’t think I ever introduced myself. My name is Bang Chan.”

There’s a sting in your heart that felt like several nails were being hammered in at all angles and all crevices when you heard his name. You know you’ve heard it somewhere before and you know there’s a reason for all the heartache, but you can’t put your tongue on it. But that was crazy for you to believe you knew his name - you’ve never met this man in your entire life! You didn’t even know what Chaeyoung’s fiance looked like before this heist, and yet there’s something about him that made you believe you’ve spent at least one lifetime together, just by hearing his name.

Maybe it was in a dream.

“And you are...?” he trailed off.

You swallowed hard. “_____ _____.”

“Nice to meet you, _____.”

“Bang Chan, have we met before?”

He thought for a moment and shook his head. “No, I don’t believe so. I would have definitely remembered you if we have.”

Your cheeks warmed so quickly so embarrassingly, but Bang Chan thought it was charming, so he laughed. It sounded like hearing your favorite song for the very first time.

“_____, get out of there!” Minho hissed, breaking you away form your broken thoughts. “Chaeyoung is wearing the earrings right now and she’s going up to her room to change!”

“U-Uh, I have to go,” you muttered, hopping off of the bed.

“Oh, ok...” For a moment, you thought he was sad you’re leaving, but that couldn’t be it. “I’ll see you again sometime?”

“Sure.”

“Promise?”

You didn’t answer. “Good bye, Bang Chan.”

You then slipped away from the bedroom and hoped to never see his beautiful smile ever again. But the feeling of leaving his side was more painful than when you met him.

When you turned the corner, you bumped into the ever-so famous and beautiful Son Chaeyoung, who looked annoyed that someone had dared to touch her other than Bang Chan or art-enthusiast Lee Minho.

“Watch where you’re going!” she scolded, not even questioning why you were up there in the first place.

You didn’t let her snobbiness bother you. How could you let it, when one of her pink heart-shaped diamond drop earrings fell on the floor right in front of you?

You snatched it off of the floor and sprinted down the stairs, where an impatient Minho waited for you.

“Go go go!” you giggled, grabbing the hand of the confused man. He didn’t question it though, thinking that your giggling was a good sign.

Minho grabbed his keys from the valet, telling the nervous boy that he’d retrieve his car himself, since you were already halfway to the parking spot. Never in either of your careers had you two so messily escaped a scene just now and never had he heard you laugh like a hyena before.

“Why are you being so weird!?” he asked after speeding away from the mansion. “I’m sweating so much right now.”

“Look!” you beamed, holding up the one heavy earring, and soon Minho joined you in your wild laughter.

“You know how that happened?” Minho began his story, rather than making it a question. “While I was, you know, ‘doing my job’, I would have my hands on the back of her head and I’d try to loosen the backing of the earring. I can’t believe it fucking worked!”

“I feel like crying,” you said once your giggles subsided. “Ready for Singapore, partner?”

“Yeah, but we only have one earring, so spend your half wisely.”

You awake in your chair sweating like your finished a marathon. It took a second for you to realize that yes, you are definitely breathing, but you should calm down before you pass out. Other than the heavy breathing and gross amounts of sweat, you feel just fine - as fine as you were before taking Pill A.

Oh, that’s right - you must have completed the first phase of testing just now. You were in District Pharmaceuticals, you were a test subject for a sequence of pills, and you just had a vivid dream with Minho in it. Dr. Woojin warned you and the other subjects six hours ago that these dreams were possible, yet knowing that Minho, a complete stranger to you, was in them felt... not necessarily wrong, but it definitely didn’t feel right, either.

Next to you, Minho was thinking and feeling the same thing. He was sweating, it was hard for him to breathe, and when he looked at you, it was like he knew what you dreamed about just now because hes was in there with you. Maybe that’s what happened when a bunch of people are dreaming and are surrounded by all the rays that measured their brain activity. Maybe other subjects’ dreams overlapped with each other’s, too.

“No, I was alone in mine, with only people that I knew poppin’ up here and there,” Jisung said when you asked him. It was just you two sitting at the table drinking some water while Minho went straight for his sleeping pod, clearly not wanting to socialize after something like that. You didn’t blamed him. “Were you not alone?”

“No, Minho was in my dream.”

“Really!? That’s crazy! Were you in his?”

“I have no idea. But you what else is crazy?” Jisung leaned in. “I have this feeling that he and I were having the same dream.”

“What? Like you two had two separate dreams and you just somehow appeared in each other’s?”

“No, even weirder - I think we had the same, single dream bubble.”

“Maybe Dr. Woojin can help you figure it out during post-evaluation.”

“Number one, you’re up first,” ushered one of the security guards.

“Speaking of. Good luck in there, friend. Let me know how it goes,” Jisung reassured.

“Will do.”

The security guard led you through an unfamiliar hallway that you swear you didn’t pass through yesterday. Who knows though, maybe you did and you just didn’t realize it. All of the hallways were starting to look the same at this point.

It’s been about half an hour since you woke up from you vivid dream with Minho. You could still picture every second of that scenario and could describe it in detail if Dr. Woojin asked that of you. You didn’t question why that specific plot line was how your dream went because did any of your dreams ever make sense? No, but you couldn’t figure out why Bang Chan and Son Chaeyoung, of all the fucking people in the world, appeared in your dream. After today, Dr. Woojin was probably going to tell you how your traumatic experiences with them contributed to your well-being, or some bullshit like that, but you didn’t need an expert to tell you that. Somehow, though, seeing them felt... relieving?

“Welcome, number one,” Dr. Woojin greeted as you stepped into the room. “It’s _____, correct?”

You were too mesmerized by all of the cameras surrounding the chair you would sit in that pointed at different angles. A bunch of monitors hung on the wall behind you and you were starting to get nervous. You didn’t like being recorded.

“Y-Yes, _____ is right.”

“Please, have a seat.”

And so you did, with the eyes of at least eight cameras staring right at you. Then, with you barely noticing, Dr. Woojin linked you up to some heart rate monitor or brain wave monitor - you couldn’t tell the difference when only your hand was connected.

“I will be asking you a series of questions and monitoring your answers as we go along. Do your best to answer as clearly, concise, and honest as possible, ok? This won’t hurt, or anything.”

His reassurance was enough to calm you down just a little. “Ok,” you replied.

“Good. First question. Describe your experience when you took Pill A.”

You take a deep breath to calm you beating heart. “Pill A was chalky. Kind of like those Flinstones vitamins you used to get when you were a kid, you know? Cherry flavored is what I can recall. After that, I fell asleep.”

“Would you say your experience was satisfactory?”

“If the purpose of it is to knock me out, then yes, very satisfied.”

“Excellent,” he jotted down several words you couldn’t read and check marked several boxes. You hoped that was a good sign. “What was the first thing you noticed after that?”

“I noticed that I was out in public.”

“What did you see?”

Minho. “A coffee shop. I was in a coffee shop.”

“Did you see anyone you recognized?”

You lied and shook your head. “No, not there.”

“But somewhere else?”

“Yeah, I... It was weird. I was like, a spy or something? I was on a mission to steal some really expensive earrings so I could travel to Singapore.”

“How did the heist go?”

“It went well - I got one earring, hopped in the car, and drove away. The dream ended there.”

“So you saw someone you recognized sometime during the heist?”

Your jaw was beginning to hurt from the grinding your teeth. “Yeah, I saw my ex-boyfriend and the girl he cheated on me with.”

“What was their role in your dream?”

“I was stealing the earrings from her and my ex was her fiance. Weirdest fucking dream I’ve had in my entire life.”

“How did you feel after that?”

“Invigorated. Like they got what they deserved, and I didn’t even have to punch them in the face for it. But god, just seeing them was so painful... I mean, really I should be over it by now... It’s been over a year since that happened. But I could never seem to let it go.”

“Would you say you could now?”

“Well, since I’m not actually in Singapore, not 100 percent but... I feel like I’m a one step closer to doing so. It’d be the most progress I made since it happened.”

“That’s good. I’m glad,” Dr. Woojin gave you a calming smile. “Your evaluation is over. You may return to the common area.”

A heavy weight lifted from your shoulders and you’re starting to see the purpose of the study a bit clearer than last night. You initially thought you were just going to pop some pills and call it a day, but oh no, this was way beyond your expectations and you’re not sure if you should be glad you took up this opportunity or terrified that this could actually work.

And where did Minho tie in with all of this? You had to find out.

When you arrived back in the common room, you spot Minho’s head lift up from his book to catch your gaze. He looked both terrified and unsettled as he made his way back to his sleeping pod and shut the curtains.

You needed answers from him. You needed to know if he dreamed the same thing.

“Hey,” you muttered, opening his curtains just a tad. His back was hunched over facing you, not wanting to acknowledge you even a little bit. “I need to ask you something.”

“Please close my curtains,” he asked, not turning around.

“This is important.”

“Can’t it wait until later?”

“What did you dream about last night?”

Minho’s brief moment of silence was enough to answer your question. For some reason, he just wasn’t as excited or interested in this as you are - you, on the other hand, found this fascinating. How was it that two complete strangers were able to experience some form of life together? In that dream, you felt like Minho was your best friend. Was it destiny or some weird fate that brought your dream bubbles together?

Minho sighed and turned around to face you, surprised that you made yourself comfortable inside of his pod. Clearly, you wouldn’t be leaving without an answer, and in a way, he knew that. “You know what I dreamed about.”

“I knew it! You were totally there with me!” you beamed. “That’s crazy, right!?”

“Yeah...”

“How do you think this happened?”

“Computers and testing go wonky all the time. Maybe they accidentally crossed us over, or something.”

“For the whole duration of the dream? No way.”

“I don’t know.”

“You know, you weren’t this shy in our dream.”

“Do you want me to steal jewelry for you, too?” he scoffed. He gave up trying to ignore and turned around to face you, who was already inside his pod uninvited.

You only rolled your eyes. “Hey, tell me something - did you see anyone you knew in our dream? Like, a friend you know or like a teacher while we were separated?”

Minho shook his head. “I was confused, if I’m being honest. Usually when you dream, your brain uses faces you recognize to form the people that pop up in your dreams. But I didn’t recognize anyone. Did you?”

“Yeah, a couple.”

Minho didn’t press you for an answer, thinking your matter was private and he respected that. He had to in a place like this.

“By the way, about the post-evaluation,” you whispered, leaning in closely. “I didn’t tell Dr. Woojin that I saw you. I was afraid he’d throw one of us out, or something if he found out we’re overlapping.”

He nodded and understood. “Thank you. I’ll do the same.”

“Thanks!”

Minho kind of liked the way you smiled and leaned back against his pod like you were at peace with this moment in such a place like this. You seemed to be taking this whole testing thing a lot lighter than everyone else here, aside from Jisung who was used to all of this by now. Maybe that was the right attitude you needed to survive all six days, but then again it was only day two.

He can’t explain why, but he’s glad it was you of all people he got to share his dream bubble with. If it were anyone else, he’d probably beg to be taken out of the experiment saying some shit like he was unstable to continue forward. But he trusted you as much as he could trust just any random girl he met at a testing facility. And he enjoyed his dream with you, at least. You were fun to be around in that world, like he had experienced it with you hundreds of times before.

“Do you think we’ll see each other again tomorrow night?” you asked, breaking his thoughts.

He shrugged, "It’s possible. I won’t be too surprised this time around.” Though he secretly hoped he’d see you.

“Let’s hope the next time won’t be as dangerous,” you teased.

“Oh, but Danger is my middle name.”

“As long as we don’t die. You know what they say ~”

“You die in your dream, you die in real life?”

“Something like that.”

“I’ll make sure to be extra careful then.”

You were oddly excited for the following night. You couldn’t wait to see what type of dream you would have next, and whether or not Minho would be there to join you. It wasn’t that you needed him to be there, and was fun having a buddy with you to live a life you could literally only dream about living, but if the rest of your dreams would be as traumatic as the first, then having him there would help a ton.

You wondered what kind of dream you’d have next - maybe you would pass through a different era? Maybe this time you’d solve a murder mystery? The possibilities were endless! But you couldn’t control anything, so all you could do was hope.

And there was something about him that you couldn’t put your finger on - it was on the tip of your tongue - that made you feel a sort of natural attraction to him. He pulled you in without any intention. It was like you were meant to meet here. All the more reason for you to figure him out while you run through more adventures in your dreams together.

The daytime went about calmly. You, Jisung, and Minho were just hanging out talking more about your lives before any of this. Jisung tried to see if there was any kind of overlap with your’s and Minho’s lives that would explain why you two experienced the same dream, but nothing was connecting. You and Minho came from two different sides of town, different social class, different universities - pretty much nothing about you and Minho was even remotely similar, so yeah, Jisung concluded that this was some act of fate.

“Wow, nothing adds up at all,” Jisung said, completely baffled.

“Pretty cool, right?” you admitted.

“I don’t know if cool is really the right word...” Minho mumbled.

“Maybe you two were fated to meet.”

“In our dreams as test monkeys?”

“Fate is fate, Minho. Who knows, maybe you guys are soulmates, in some twisted way. That’s kind of romantic, right? Are both of you guys single?”

“Shut up, Jisung,” you and Minho said simultaneously.

Although you couldn’t wait to take Pill B, when you entered the testing room for the second time, the chairs and head plates were still terrifying. To maximize the likelihood of merging dreams, you and Minho sat in the same chairs right next to each other. Pill B was then given to everyone in a small dixie cup. This time, the pill was blue.

“We will now commence the testing of Pill B,” Dr. Woojin said over the intercom. “Ingest Pill B.” You all did as such with much less hesitation. This one tasted like blueberry. “Everything is set. Testing will begin in three... two... one...”

The first thing you saw was yourself as you looked into the mirror, dressed in an elegant jewel tone gown ready for a night out. You must have been inside your bathroom and not a public one, as you saw all of your expensive make-up, perfumes, and some jewelry scattered all over your side of the Jill sink. On the other side with the Jack sink laid shaving equipment, skin care products, and cologne untouched as their owner was out of sight.

Just as you were thinking about him, a pair of warm, strong arms wrapped themselves around your waist.

“Hi,” Minho whispered, nuzzling his head against yours in the softest manner. His stray hairs, all messy from bed still, were tickling your neck. “What are you looking so beautiful for?”

“Nuh-uh, don’t even try to compliment your way out of this one. We have your parents’ wedding anniversary, remember?”

“Mm, I was hoping you’d forget so we wouldn’t have to go.”

You turned yourself around so you could face your loving husband who now pressed you to the side of the sink. He wanted to be as close to you as possible because he could never get enough of touching you. It was his way of telling you how much he loved you without having to say a word.

“Don’t be so pouty tonight, ok? Let’s have some fun - tonight’s a night to celebrate love.”

“We can do that in the bedroom ~” he mumbled lowly, lips travelling to the crook of your neck to that one spot that made your knees weak.

Playfully, you shove your handsome man off before you caved in and made your way out of the bathroom. “I’ll be in the kitchen whenever you’re ready.”

“We can celebrate there too, if you want!”

You ignored his whines and waited a patient half hour in the kitchen while he got ready. Tonight was your in-laws’ celebration of their 25th wedding anniversary. Before meeting the Lees, you’ve never even heard of an anniversary celebrated before the 50th year, but the Lees were a special kind of expensive family who celebrated anything and everything. If you thought their 24th anniversary party last year was huge, this year’s was going to be ginormous.

Mr. Lee Minho, CEO of the Min Hotel and your loving husband, slyly walked towards you with his signature smirk that made you fall for him at first sight. He wore some designer suit you couldn’t pronounce and his cute dangly earrings.

“Hey, handsome. Come here often ~?” you teased.

“Can you imagine if that’s what you asked me when we first met?”

“Instead of ‘hi, would you like to try our special peppermint latte today?’ No, I can’t imagine.”

“Did I ever tell you that was the best peppermint latte I’ve ever had?”

“Only every other day. Are you finally ready to head out?”

“Do we really have to go...?”

“Yes, we do. We don’t have to stay long. At least to go see your mother.”

“Fine, but don’t you dare leave my side unless it’s for food, booze, or the bathroom.”

“Ok, whatever you say ~”

Minho’s driver pulled up to meet you at the front door. He was also your driver, but you’ve never found a need to use him so often when you could just drive yourself. You don’t think you could ever get used to your husband’s lifestyle, no matter how long you two have been together.

The car ride was spent with your head on Minho’s shoulder while holding his hand. He liked playing the game of drawing little shapes and words on the back of your hand and you’d have to guess what he drew.

“That’s a star,” you said.

“Mhm.”

“That’s a... cat face?”

“Soonie or Doongie?”

“Soonie!”

“Wow, you’re good. How about this one?”

“That’s inappropriate, Mr. Lee,” you scolded, slapping his hand away.

Minho chuckled and held you closer, peppering little kisses all over the top of your head until you finally looked up and pulled him in for a real kiss. Neither of you could stop smiling nor kissing like newly weds on their honeymoon.

“We have arrived,” your driver announced through the crack of the partition.

“I really don’t want to go,” Minho sighed into the kiss, feeling a painful sting in his chest.

“Just for a little bit,” you reassured. “C’mon, we’re already here.”

Hand-in-hand, you and Minho walked into The Min Hotel, the number one luxury hotel in the country. Minho was already overworked running this place and now he had to actually socialize and attempt to enjoy such a place. You could tell he was tense the second you both walked through the doors, so you squeezed his hand reassuringly.

“Remember to have fun, ok? You’re not working today or anything.”

“I’m here with you, so of course I’ll have fun,” he said.

The ballroom was decked out in twinkling lights and white lilies, the same decorations that were arranged at his parents’ actual wedding. Only the finest plates and crystal glasses were at the tables with open bottles of expensive champagne ready to be poured. Even if you could think up the biggest most expensive wedding reception of your dreams, this venue could not even come close to your imagination.

But that’s ok, because you already lived your dream wedding - just you and Minho, alone with the minister in a rose garden as you said your vows. Neither of you needed a huge audience to witness.

“Minho!” you both heard his mother call.

Like a true mama’s boy, he ran up to his mother happily and gave her a big hug. She was dressed in a beautiful long, white gown and looked like she hadn’t aged since she got married twenty-five years ago.

His father was nowhere to be seen.

“_____, you’re as stunning as ever,” his mother complimented, immediately going in to hug you.

“I’m nothing compared to you,” you said back.

“Ah, you always make me feel so young ~” she gushed happily, blushing as pink as a rose.

“Where’s Dad?” Minho asked reluctantly.

“At the bar, as usual.”

“Well, that’s one corner I know to avoid.”

“Hey, be nice tonight, ok? It’s our anniversary, for God’s sake,” his mother scolded, pointing an accusatory finger at her pouty son. “Now you kids have fun, ok?”

“Yes, mom...”

For the first half of the night, you and Minho delved into the luxuries of the party. You both snacked on caviar and capers that the waiters handed out on silver platters, drank golden champagne from the crystal glasses, and spent an eternity at the dessert table. The entire affair was too way too extravagant for such an occasion, but at least the food was to die for.

While you were trying to have fun for the both of you, Minho couldn’t shake off the anxiety he felt whenever he saw his father. He was boring holes into his stupid, designer tuxedo, yet he never gave him the time of day. He didn’t stop to say hi on his way to the bar for the fifth time, didn’t wave, and didn’t even look his way. Even though he was the star heir to the hotel, Minho might as well have not existed to his father. It was like he was the child of disappointment and regret all over again.

This dream was starting to get too real... Then it clicked.

Fuck this pill.

“Hey,” you said, tearing him away from his moment of existential crisis and self depreciation. “Dance with me?”

You must haven’t realized this was the effects of Pill B yet, but your smile was so warm and loving, how could he say no? In this lifetime, in this world, this version of you, you were so deeply in love with him and he needed that so desperately right now.

In this dream, he loved you so much, too, so he’ll play along until it was time to wake up.

“Of course, love,” he said, taking you to the middle of the dance floor where the whole venue could see.

You delicately wrapped your arms around his neck while he rested his at the small of your back. For three dances, your husband was quiet, eyes drooping lowly like he was about to fall asleep. Was it that late already? You checked your watch for the time.

00:00, with the seconds hand stuck on the twelve.

Everything clicked.

The space around you both began to change and it did not go unnoticed. By the fifth song, the twinkling lights dimmed to blackness. No longer could either of you see the rest of the guests and even his parents, who you thought were approaching you two just a second ago, were nowhere to be seen in the darkness. All you could see was Minho’s handsome face just centimeters from yours.

“Are we still dreaming?” you whispered, though already knowing the answer.

“I really, really hope so,” he admitted.

“Are you ok?”

“Yeah.. Uh hey, since we’re dreaming... can I kiss you?”

You only nodded in response, and before you stopped, Minho immediately leaned down to press his lips to yours. Even if this was a dream, it felt so, so real - his lips were soft, warm, and desperate, finding solace by molding with yours. You felt ever bit of sadness he experienced in the dream in his kiss and you figured this was something he needed.

The second he pulled away, he disappeared and your vision went black.

You awoke in the same manner from two nights ago - covered in sweat, gasping for air, with a sped up heart rate. Minho woke up the same way, and neither of you could look each other in the eye after that dream.

Pill B contained a higher concentration of whatever active ingredient it had, and you supposed that correlated with the intensity of the dreams. Compared to the dream from Pill A, Pill B felt much shorter, almost half the time you experienced in Pill A, but the realness of the dream felt like it was ten times stronger. This dream was about Minho and his relationship with his father, but the minor details of the dream were meant for you to delve in.

You had complete and entire memories in that dream bubble. You and Minho had memories of when you first met, of your first date, of the day you got married, and every kiss, fight, and laughing fits you ever experienced. Truly, you two lived an entire life filled with love under the influence of Pill B - a life you could only ever dream about. When your ex-boyfriend Bang Chan left you for Son Chaeyoung, you never thought you could experience a love so true ever again. You lived in constant fear and pessimism that love was never real and that everyone was only lying to themselves when it came to the matter. But in this dream, you experienced a life full of love that you’ve always wanted with Chan. And even if you would never experience that with Chan - even if you experienced it with a stranger named Lee Minho - you knew this was something you wanted in your next relationship.

Soon you would learn and accept that a love like your’s and Minho’s would come easily - as easy as it would in a dream.

Again, you were the first to give your post evaluation. You said all there was about it, from beginning to end, and what you thought it could mean. You didn’t say you were with Minho. You said you were with some faceless man and said how that represented the void that you felt when Chan left you. Or some bullshit like that.

You didn’t care about the post evaluation. You just wanted to talk to Minho again.

But maybe you would be over-stepping your boundaries. This was pretty much his dream, after all. You didn’t want to be nosy by asking him what the dream and the kissing at the end meant to him.

Maybe you were taking this testing too seriously. You would never see him again after this was over anyways, right? But for some reason, just thinking about that made your heart drop to the pit of your stomach.

There was something in Pill B that made you feel extra light headed after your evaluation, so you headed straight for your sleeping pod, ignoring the curious stares of Minho and Jisung. Today, you were the one not up for any socializing.

Hours passed as you not only napped in your pod, but read a few chapters of some book, ate your breakfast and lunch, and did a couple of puzzles in your pod, also. You had to keep yourself occupied in a prison like this. How else were you going to survive such a powerful and painful mental cleansing? Even after all of that, your light headed-ness was still present. Didn’t Dr. Woojin say there were no side effects? Maybe that was due to your level four defense mechanism.

To your surprise, sometime at around 8:00 pm, your curtain was pulled open.

“Hey,” Minho greeted shyly. “Can I come in?”

Wordlessly, you nodded, scooting over so he could sit next to you. You could really use his company right now.

“I, uh, figured I should explain why our dream was like that.”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“I want to, if that’s ok.”

“Of course, Minho.”

Hearing his name sent a shock through his body. “You met my mom in the dream. She actually passed away a couple of years ago. Since then, my dad hasn’t been able to keep a job or complete any regular daily tasks other than downing any alcohol he can find. He’ll put the blame for her death on himself and then on me, and soon I really began to believe it was my fault. He can’t even look at me anymore.”

“I’m so sorry to hear that.”

“It’s ok.”

“Why are you telling me this, though? I’m just a strange girl in your dreams, for all you know.”

He shrugged, not really knowing the answer himself. “I don’t know. I just... wanted to talk to you. I also thought me giving you some background information would somehow justify me asking to um, kiss you earlier, but it really doesn’t, does it?” he chuckled nervously.

“Is that the reason you ended up here?”

“Yeah... that, and other personal struggles, but yeah. I miss her a lot, you know?”

“You look a lot like her.”

“Do I really?”

“Yeah,” you smiled. “I bet she would be proud of you for coming here and trying to seek help for yourself.”

Cautiously, Minho laid his hand on top of yours, painting the same little shapes on the back with his thumb. “Thank you for saying that.”

“Wanna hear my story?”

“I would love to.”

“You know our first dream with the heist?” Minho nodded, listening attentively. “Chaeyoung is the girl my ex-boyfriend cheated on me with.”

“Ouch...”

“Yeah. Her fiance I met upstairs in her room was my ex. I caught them at a party one night last year. He left my side and said he was just going to make his rounds and say hi to his friends, but when I went to look for him after a while, they were in some stranger’s bed. It really doesn’t sound like a big deal - other people who get cheated on, they could just drop him right away and move onto the next person just like that. But how could I when he made me feel like I could fly for those years we were together? It wasn’t even him cheating on me that made me lose my sense of self, you know? I was just so dependent on him for self-worth... It was like I didn’t know who I was without him. This past year without him has been really hard, to the point where I almost flunked out of school. And so I ended up here, because my heart is so very weak and pathetic and I need to fucking fix it.”

“You’re not weak or pathetic. Just fragile.”

“That’s just a nicer word for it...”

“Eh, yeah. That’s what my mom used to say to me. My dad would call me weak a lot and then afterwards, my mom would wipe my tears and say that I wasn’t weak, I was fragile. I just needed to be taken extra care of.”

“Your a soft dude, Minho,” you teased. “Is it weird to say that I really enjoyed being married to you for those five fake years?”

“Really?”

“Yeah. You took extra care of my fragile, level four defense mechanism of a heart while we were together. It really, truly felt like you did that for five years.”

A dark blush burned his cheeks. “I’m glad you thought so.”

“Mm. I hope to feel the kind of love I felt for you for real one day.”

“Me, too.”

“Tell me your life story, Minho.”

“Ok. I was born on October 25th...”

You spent the next couple of hours talking to Minho like he was your best friend while you both continued to play with each other’s hands. He gave you a very detailed timeline of his life from the day he was born up until he met you and you did the same, losing track of time completely. Then the next morning you continued on talking about your favorite movies, books, foods - anything you could think of to fill in the gap until it was time to test the very last pill, the strongest of them all.

“What do you think we’ll dream about this time?” you asked excitedly.

“We’re both idols.”

“Ugh gross, I don’t wanna dream about that! Besides, I don’t think Pill C would be called the strongest pill if that’s all we end up dreaming about.”

“Ok, how about we’re cowboys in the wild west with those weird American accents? We have guns and stuff.”

“Ooh interesting, I like that one. Or how about assassins?”

“A little risky considering if we die in the dream, we could die in real life.”

Then midnight came around. After tonight, everyone would have their final evaluation and then you’d be cured! Well, maybe. One thing for sure was that in a matter of hours, you would no longer be with Minho. You two would move on with your lives like you never met, like those fake five years married together and being partners in crime meant absolutely nothing.

It broke your heart, just a little.

“Welcome to the last test, Pill C,” Dr. Woojin said over the intercom after everyone was settled in their seats. “Pill C has the highest concentration of the active ingredient. You will experience the most vivid and possibly violent dreams you will ever experience in your lifetime. The final test and the evaluation that follows will ultimately determine if you have been cured - a confrontation of some sorts. Although my description remains to be as mysterious as ever, I hope by now that you all have faith my testing scheme to continue forward through completion. We will now commence the testing of the last pill. If you will now please ingest Pill C.”

The flavor was grape.

“Excellent. Pill C has been ingested, instruments are operating, and the last testing will begin in three... two... one...”

You see black; you smell blood; you taste fabric that’s been wrapped around your mouth to keep you quiet; you feel your wrists chafing against the rope that held them together; and lastly, you hear a gun cock before it’s being pressed to your forehead.

The gag in your mouth gets yanked off and you can finally breathe, though you’re not sure for how much longer.

“Who do you work for?” an unknown voice threatened lowly in your ear.

“I work for no one,” you said as you were always taught.

A hard slap hits your cheek and you feel high levels of heat rising to the point of contact. Your whole body stung in various ways so a slap to the cheek just added to the pile.

“Who do you work for?” he repeated.

“I work for no one.”

Another slap to the other cheek and this time you think you taste blood.

Your sweat-covered blindfold finally gets taken off and thrown to the floor. It takes you several seconds for your eyes to adjust to the single lightbulb dangling from the ceiling. Your surroundings are familiar - you’re in a clean, smooth-walled room with no windows, a table, and a single man standing in front of you inspecting his shiny glock. You were still in their interrogation room.

The cold metal of the gun rested on the bottom of your chin and forced your head up to look at the handsome man straight in his catty eyes. Despite his position in front of you at the moment, you would have never expected such playful eyes to take part in the mafia.

“Are you a cop?” he asked.

The longer you refused to answer, the more the gun was being pressed to your throat until the back of your neck hit the chair and you were trapped in between.

“No, I’m not,” you spat out.

“Then who do you work for, hm? That snake Seo Changbin?”

“No.”

“If you don’t work for anyone, why were you at our rendezvous spot?”

“Mere coincidence.”

“Coincidence?” he scoffed, finally letting the gun fall so he could twirl it around careless like a toy. “You think it was a coincidence that you ended up at our spot while our drug-moving got busted? At the fucking pier?”

“I like to jog by the ocean.”

The young mafia lord burst into a loud fit of laughter, really surprised that you were keeping up this facade for as long as you could. He had to give you props - no one had ever sat in front of Minho without confessing right away or pissing their pants on the spot. Either you really didn’t care to live or you were extremely loyal.

He’ll give you credit for that.

Your not sure what’s taking this guy so long to just pop your head off. There’s something he wants from you, and you know it, but he should know by now after days of interrogation that you weren’t going to spill. And it wasn’t like the precinct was going to find you anytime soon. It would be so easy for him, too - like ok, you weren’t going to give him any sort of information? Fine, he’ll just end it there, saving both him and you tons of time and unnecessary torture.

But maybe that’s what he wanted - to torture you and starve you to death. He would never actually shoot you. No, that would be way too easy. Lee Minho, The Boss of his Mafia in District 9, wanted to squeeze you dry until the very last drop where you’d confess everything and he’d let you go.

If that was the case, this guy was a cruel man, though you didn’t expect anything less.

“What’s your name?” he asked.

Why did it matter? Shouldn’t he have asked you this two days ago? “_____.”

“_____,” he repeated with honey dripping from his voice. “Such a pretty name for a pretty girl.”

“I guess...”

“And what does _____ like to do for fun?” The man was now sitting on the other chair with the gun on the table, not really interested in using it at the moment, accompanied by his feet. We he trying to make small talk with you?

“I like to read...”

“That’s not very fun.”

“What do you like to do for fun?”

“Do I look like I have time for fun, my love? Well, actually this is quite fun.”

“Is this a normal thing in daily Mafia Boss life?”

“For Lee Minho it is.”

“Why even bother? Can’t you just shoot me and get it over with?”

“Because there’s no fun in that, silly! Besides, I kind of like you,” he winked.

“Wh-What?”

“You’re not scared of me, you’re loyal to your team, and you’re obedient. It’s a shame you don’t work for me - I would have loved to have you on the team.”

“It’s not too late ~”

“Ah, nice try. You’re funny, _____.”

There’s an odd shiver that traveled down Minho’s spine whenever he said your name. It felt hot, as if someone spilled hot coffee down the back of his shirt. There’s a weird familiarity about you that he can’t put his tongue on, but he pushed that thought to the back of his mind when he saw you falling asleep again.

“What’s your favorite food, _____?” he asked, jolting you awake.

“I don’t know... pizza?”

“Hm, good choice. I’m more of a fried chicken guy.”

“Fried chicken makes me break out.”

“Ah yeah, it can do that.”

“Lee Minho, is it?”

Another hot sensation runs down his spine. “Yes it is, my love.”

“Do you like being the Boss?”

“Do I like it? Huh... Honestly, I don’t know.”

“You don’t know...?”

“I’ve never been asked that question before.”

“How did you end up in your position then?”

“My father was the boss before me. When he saw that it was time I took over, I did. Whether I wanted to or not, I didn’t have a choice. So I can’t really answer your question if I’m here against my free will.”

“You either like murdering people and pushing drugs or you don’t, which one is it?”

Minho shrugged, too lazy to punish you for such a tone. “Asking if I like what I do is a hard question to answer. I have to do it, so why go through the trouble of trying to like it when I’ll be doing it anyways?”

“Are you always this difficult?”

“Are you?”

“I’m still here on day three, aren’t I?”

A sharp tisk left Minho’s lips. “Maybe I should have just killed you...”

Suddenly, the entire room began to shake. The table, the chairs, and you and Minho start to vibrate with the floor and nothing is heard but a low hum for a solid ten seconds. Panic was rising in both of your chests, unsure of what the source of such a phenomenon could be. You constrictions only raised the panic even more.

An army of footsteps could be heard from above followed by an overkill of gunshots.

“Fuck,” Minho cursed, grabbing his gun. “Looks like your crew came and found you. At midnight on the dot, too.”

“Midnight?” you muttered, swinging your head around to where Minho saw the time.

A white clock is hung high on the wall, completely mismatched from the environment of the interrogation room. You saw your trigger - all three black hands are on the twelve, with the seconds hand struggling to pass. In the midst of all the madness, you thought to yourself that Dr. Woojin was fucking insane for formulating Pill C this way.

You see Minho start to panic, unsure of whether he should kill you first before making a break for it.

“Minho!” you cried out. “It’s me, _____!”

“No fucking shit, Sherlock -”

“Listen to me, we’re dreaming right now. This is it, this is Pill C! Do you understand?”

Minho tried to understand. Your words made sense, but they didn’t make sense to him, at least not fully. Pill C... what was so familiar about Pill C?

“Pill C, Minho! We’re testing, remember? You’re number nine!”

The gears in his head clicked. Number nine, Lee Minho, with a level eight defense mechanism.

“Fuck, we have to get out of here,” he said, rushing to your side to untie you. 

The footsteps and gunshots sound like they’re coming closer and there wasn’t much time left to lose. After successfully freeing you from the ropes, Minho worried deeply about your well-being, as your wrists bled from all the chafing and it really looked like you were roughed up those past fake-two days of interrogation. But that didn’t matter now, because you thanked the heavens that Minho snapped out of it before you died in your own damn dream.

Mafia Boss Minho took your hand and ran out the only door in the room with the gun in his free hand just in case. He has a faint fake memory of the layout of his base and if both of you could get to the elevator, you would both be safe for the time being.

A bullet whizzed by you before breaking a window.

“Guide me that way. There’s an elevator that can get us out of here. I’ll shoot,” Minho ordered, already taking down a bunch of unknown men.

“Who are those people!?” you asked while gripping onto Minho for your life. Shooting enemies while running backwards was not an ideal tactic.

“I think it’s your defense mechanism? Dreams have that, right? They must have sensed you were in danger.”

“That’s so fucking stupid. Way to go, Minho!”

“What!? I didn’t do anything!”

“In front, in front!” you screeched as you saw some men sprinting.

With ease, Minho eliminated them like it was nothing. He handed you a gun from a fallen soldier on the way to the elevator and you thought that probably wasn’t the best idea, considering you haven’t held a gun in your entire life, but anything can happen in dreams as you eliminated with one-shot kills each time. Minho never thought that he could be attracted to you in this way.

“This is supposed to be level four!? What the hell would level seven be!?” Minho cried out.

“Just be happy we won’t ever have to know!”

After shooting dozens of men down, cutting hundreds of corners, and nearly dying every five seconds, you both made it into the elevator. As soon as the doors shut, you both fell to the floor with a heavy thud, still hand-in-hand.

Neither of you were willing to let each other go.

“Where do we go from here?” you asked after catching your breath.

Minho shrugged. “Try the star button.”

So you pressed it. “What do star buttons mean in regular elevators again?”

“The lobby.”

“Do mafia properties usually have a lobby...?”

“Not mine.”

From whatever floor you were at below ground level, the elevator began to take you all the way up to the star floor. It was a long, torturous, raggedy ride and you thought at any moment, the elevator was going to give out and drop you all the way down. Minho figured you were nervous for what was to come as you haven’t loosened your grip on his hand since he freed you from your ropes.

You flinched when he ran his thumb across your wounds.

“I’m so sorry I did this,” he whispered, unable to look at you.

“You didn’t do it. Maybe one of your minions did,” you teased.

“But what if I did?”

“We’ll never know. Even if you did, you were just being Big Scary Mafia Boss Minho, right?”

“Still...” He returned his hand for you to hold again, which eased his anxiety tenfold. “Were our guesses for what our dream would be way off, or what?”

“I don’t know, I think my assassins guess was pretty close.”

The elevator made a dinging noise and stopped at level nineteen. You and Minho stood up, getting ready with your guns in your hands with whatever was to come at you next. But as the doors slid open, you see test subject number nineteen still living in their dream bubble, running through a meadow of sunflowers without a care in the world.

“This testing scheme is... elaborate...”

“I can’t believe Dr. Woojin did all of this. Why weren’t any of our dreams like that?” you pouted.

The next level the doors opened for was seventeen, and you figured the elevator was going to open its doors to everyone’s dream bubble until the very last subject, which was you. This must have been how everyone else got to this point - this very elevator.

“This must be what that confrontation thing Dr. Woojin was talking about,” Minho sighed. “Do I have to face my dead mom, or something?”

“Pill C for confrontation? Clever.”

Level nine was next and the last thing Minho wanted to do was leave you in the elevator to face what was to come. But he made it to the very end - both of you did. You both came all the way from opposite sides of the country to make yourself better again and neither of you were going to back out of this one like you backed out of all the other important decisions of your lives.

Level nine was here and the doors opened to reveal Minho’s beautiful mother sitting on a couch reading one of her many books she’s read many times over. She looked up to you two with a bright smile and waved like you were coming to visit for some lunch.

“I can’t do this,” Minho told you.

“Do you want me to go with you?” He only nodded in response. “Ok. I’ll be right behind you. But you have to do this on your own.”

He bucked up the courage to leave the elevator first and you soon follow, only taking a couple steps out. From afar, you watched Minho join his mother on the couch and pull her into a long, warm hug.

“I miss you, mom,” he told her.

“I know you do, dear. I hear you’re not doing so well?”

“No, I’m not,” he admitted, holding back his tears. “I don’t have you, I don’t have Dad, I have no one. How am I supposed to go on without you?”

“You just do,” she said. “I know it’s not something you want to hear, but sometimes people leave and you don’t know why. You can’t keep dwelling on my death, love. You have to live your life to the fullest and go see the world! You can’t do that if you’re stuck here with me.”

“You expect me to get over this just like that?”

“Of course not. It’s not easy losing your mother. But I promise you, with time, it will get easier. You love me, don’t you?” Minho nodded. “Then live your life the way you would if I was still around.”

“Ok... I’ll try.”

“That’s all I ask of you.” She pulled her son in for another loving hug. “I’m so, so proud of you, my son.”

“I love you, mom.”

“I love you, too. Promise me something else?”

“Anything.”

“Try to be more understanding of your father. It’s not easy losing someone you’ve loved for twenty-five years.” With tears in your own eyes, you watched his mom wipe away her son’s tears gently. “Now leave. You’re almost done.”

Before he changed his mind to stay, he followed you back into the elevator. He grabbed to hold your hand again hoping it would fill the empty void of what was left of his mother.

“How do you feel?” you asked.

Through the tears, he gave you genuine grin, one you haven’t even seen in your dreams. He looked so beautiful this way.

“I feel good.”

“I’m happy,” you smiled back.

“Are you ready for yours?”

“No. Can you come with me?”

“Of course.”

Level one - the last level before the star. The doors revealed to you a patiently-waiting Bang Chan at a coffee shop, the very one where he asked you to be his girlfriend.

He saw you once the doors opened and shot you the same dimply smile you fell so deeply in love with and you think to yourself that there’s no way you can do this. Then Minho’s hand is at the small of your back and he guided you out the elevator.

“I’ll be right here,” he told you.

You made your way to the empty chair in front of Chan. In front of you, he ordered your favorite drink, customized just the way you liked it. He always paid attention to the littlest details about you.

“Hello, _____,” he greeted first.

You wasted no time jumping right into it. “Why did you cheat on me?”

“You know I can’t answer that when you don’t know the answer yourself. I’m your subconscious, remember?”

“But I need to know why!”

“Are you going to let that question keep you from finding love again?”

“Yes, because you made me believe that you were in love with me as much as I loved you! What if I never meet someone who will love me the same way? What if my love is never reciprocated? What if I’m not lovable!? I can’t trust myself to find that person.”

Chan reached across the table to wipe away the one tear you allowed to fall. He took your hands in his and looked at you with the same intensity of the sun.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be the person who you wanted me to be. But there is someone out there who is. He’ll love you and care for you way better than I ever did. He’ll make you feel like you’re flying above the heavens among the Gods. You have to believe that one day you’ll find a man who will look at you like you’re the only thing that matters in this cruel world.”

“I hate that you made me feel this way for so long.”

“I know.”

“I hate that I thought I couldn’t be loved because of you.”

“I know.”

“And I hate that you’re right.”

“I know,” he chuckled lightly.

“But I can’t forget about you...”

“Maybe you can’t now, but when you find that someone, you will.”

“Promise?”

“I pinky promise.”

“It was nice loving you, Bang Chan.”

“I’m glad. Now go back - you’re almost done.”

Before you reached the elevator, your vision went black.

You woke up clean and dry without a single drop of sweat on your forehead, which was surprising considering the dream and the confrontation. You were the last to wake and the last to enter the common area where Dr. Woojin and his crew were waiting with bright grins on their faces. You and all the other test subjects looked the same - confused, exhausted, and ready to go home.

“Congratulations, subjects,” Woojin greeted. “You all have completed the final test - the confrontation. From your results, I can conclude that you are all cured.”

“Just like that!?” Jisung exclaimed.

“Just like that.”

Nothing made sense. Sure, the dreams had their purpose, but literally nothing made any fucking sense, I mean how as Dr. Woojin supposed to confirm something huge like that!? But no one argued, and you weren’t about to either because you think, well... maybe he’s right.

Like zombies, everyone gathered all of their belongs they came in with and mindlessly and silently walked out of the common area back to the main lobby of the company building. The same lady who you handed in your evaluation to six days ago handed you a pamphlet and said something about making sure you completed a satisfactory rating and that a follow-up email would be sent regarding your tuition, but it went in one ear out the other. All you wanted to do was leave and take a taxi home.

Wait, where was Minho?

You were afraid it was too late when you lost sight of him. He was nowhere to be seen in the lobby nor among the crowd of people and you think that was it. Not ten minutes out of the testing facility and you already lost the only person you wanted to see. You would never see him again.

Begrudgingly, you walk outside to the line of taxis. You were about to get into one until you saw Minho sitting alone on one of the bus benches staring off into nothing. You ran to him.

“Hey, handsome. Come here often?”

Minho didn’t have to look up to see that it was you. He smiled at your flirty comment, but he wished you didn’t find him.

“Why did you leave so quickly?” you asked.

“I just want to go home. I’m so tired. I want to sleep for days and dream of nothing.”

“Did you... not want to keep in touch...?”

He dared to look at you and instantly regretted it, seeing the hurt look written across your beautiful, gorgeous face.

“What happened in there was crazy, right?” he began. “Never in a million years did I think I could live as a spy with my best friend, or be happily married for five years, or even a damn Mafia Boss all within a span of six days and sharing that experience with you. I’ve lived three fulfilling, loving, and thrilling lives with you, and you’ve seen the deepest parts of me that no one else ever has. It’s as if we really knew each other for those five years, and there’s something telling me that maybe you’re meant to be in my life, but... I can’t think anything of this.”

There’s a sting in your chest, but you’re unsure why when you wholeheartedly agree with what he’s saying. Regardless, you asked, “Why not?”

“We barely know each other, _____! We spent what, a couple of hours actually talking and getting to know each other? That’s nothing!”

“Then let’s get to know each other.”

“You don’t understand. The same thing happens every time I meet someone or get close to someone. I mess it up. You don’t know me outside of that facility. I’m gonna get frustrated with you one day and… and then you’ll stop calling back. I’ll be so deeply in love with you, but I’ll get frustrated and you’ll change your number and it’ll break my heart,” his voice cracked somewhere in between. “I wish you stayed a dream. It’s just easier if you’re not real...”

“But I am real,” you insisted, taking his shaky hands in yours. He forgot what it felt like to hold your hands and he begins to miss the feeling even while you’re still holding them. “I really like you. I want to get to know the spy Minho, the Mafia Boss Minho, and even the husband Minho.”

“What about the emotionally unavailable Minho?”

“He can me the emotionally unavailable _____.” You take Minho’s chuckling as a good sign. “Why can’t we just start off simple? Will you grab food with me?”

His mom’s words echoed in his head and he can’t believe he’s about to spend the day with a stranger he stole with, fell in love with, and almost murdered in his dreams.

“As long as it’s not caviar and capers again.”

“Ok, then you choose - pizza or fried chicken?”

“I think you already know my answer to that question.”