#look i know im late to the party bc i started this game late but i just got this scene last night so im losing my mind

[killjoy-prince]

THIS GUY I SWEARRRRRRR

Ok, so I get to 12/1. After school, I get this text from Ryoji after hearing he cut class today

I'm thinking "oh its about to get VERY gay"

First, he plays the piano, something he did when we first met but this time hes clearly improved. And then you can say

LIKE HOW KAWORU/SHINJI CODED CAN YOU BE????? THIS IS LIKE THAT SCENE FROM 3.1 (i never watched the movie but i know the scene)

Anyway, you cant play. Ryoji's like what an interesting concept but lets save it for another time.

THEN he goes on about human connections thats hes witness in the month hes been here and then says this

ITS A CONFESSION

NO TWO WAYS ABOUT IT HE'S CONFESSING HIS LOVE TO YOU

Making good on his words from the femc route where he said "I'd love you whether you were a man or a woman"

But when he asks you "What about you?" THE GAME DOESNT LET YOU RECIPROCATE!!! ONLY CONFUSED ANSWERS TO PICK FROM

And before he can make himself clearer, Fuuka comes in having heard the piano and Ryoji fucked off somewhere, the conversation finished prematurely.

Now I gotta wait for 12/31 because we had the big reveal about who he really is and the ultimatum he gave us. I think he should kiss P3!Protag on 12/31 like regardless of what choice we picked bc it'd be great but I know atlus wont take this further than this bc they're COWARDS!!!!!

[munsster]

rockstar standards

A/N: PLS PLS PLS DROP SUGGESTIONS FOR HOCKEY STEVE/EDDIE im having a total brainfart but i need to break into the hockey au game bc i love it 😻 (gif creds: @cuntyarmand)

Pairings: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader, 90s AU

Summary: Corroded Coffin starts to gain some traction, and you can't help feeling stranded. 1.5k words

Warnings: minor angst/hurt comfort, fluff, pining, pet names (bug, sweetheart, sweets, baby), jealousy, undressed cuddling,

You watch him parade around the stage every Friday night. Sometimes he's playing the home stage, other times he books random amphitheaters and dive bars. But today, he's drenched in purple light on the outskirts of Chicago. It's by far the biggest venue Corroded Coffin has played. You sit by the pop up bar, but bodies are packed like sardines in this place. It's hot and loud, but it's worth it to see him so elated.

Even through his streaky eyeliner, you can tell he's adoring the attention of the pit. You can see their red fingernails and shiny tank tops and free flowing hair. You never thought Eddie would be the kinda thing you were attracted to. You also know he's not the kinda guy to be attracted to something like you. You know guys like Eddie usually go for the Pam Andersons and Courtney Loves. The Party girls. Not the ones who have nothing better to do on a Saturday night than watch a romcom alone.

That Sunday, Eddie pulls onto your street. It's late and he has a ringing headache. He couldn't think of anything better to do after touching down in Hawkins again. You'd headed home the night before, and it made his gut wrench knowing he wouldn't get to see you the rest of the weekend.

Your door creaks open, and he's smiling on the other side. He's already leaning against your doorway with the bouquet he bought earlier from the woman selling them on the corner.

"Missed you, bug," he huffs, "Can I come in?"

You step aside without another word, and he hangs his leather jacket on the coat rack like always. Something feels off when he sits on the couch to find you're on the complete opposite side from him. Usually, you're not shy about cuddling up beside him to watch a movie or share snacks or just talk.

He frowns and scoots closer, leaning in to grab at your ankle playfully. You kick his hand away, brow set hard above your lethal glare.

"Sweetheart," he huffs, tilting his head in confusion, "What's going on? Where's my cuddlebug?"

"I dunno, somewhere in Hollywood?"

His eyes nearly pop out of his head at that. You're his favorite girl and you know that. So why're you grilling him now.

"Tell me what's goin' on. What did I miss?"

And you look serious, too. This isn't some running joke he missed out on while he was away. He's not sure who bruised your confidence, but he's sure he'd like to have a few words with them. He hates the way your lip wobbles and your eyes avoid him cause it gives you away. That's how he knows you're heartbroken.

"Eddie," you whine, swiping a hasty tear from your cheek. "I just don't know why you keep me around when you could have any of those girls at your bon vivant gigs."

"Fuck is that supposed to mean, bug?" He barks it out on accident, sitting back on his haunches with a scowl. "I'm sorry, but there's no way I'm gettin’ rid of you."

"Eddie, please... you're gonna make it big and get shipped off to Tinseltown, and I'll still be here, teddy. Probably being someone's lonely, suburban housewife. It's what I'm made for, and that's not what you want."

"You're wrong."

"And maybe you should go," you whisper, choking back a sob and standing from the couch.

"No, sweets, you're wrong," he says, standing and striding over to you, "You've got me wrong, and you've got you wrong."

You cross your arms over your chest and finally look him in the eye.

"'S that so?"

"Yeah," he tuts. And he has the most charming, most dastardly smile you've ever seen, flashing his canines like a gentle killer. "'Cause I'm gonna take you with me."

"Teddy."

"Nope, I'm takin' you with me wherever I go, and there's nothin' you can say to change my mind. Even if you hate my music forever, fine, I'll fix you up in a nice five star anywhere we go. You can sit and watch all the movies you like. You'll be nobody's housewife, baby, 'cause I'm keepin' you."

You roll your eyes, batting away tears when he grabs your hand to pull you back to the couch.

"And what if I said that's not what I want?" you suggest, testing his rockstar resolve with your big, wet eyes and stubborn quips.

"Then I'll give you somethin' else. Anything else. But you're mine no matter what." If only you knew how proud it made him to call you his girl. To know you support him even if you don't love his genre.  "Now, would you come closer? You're killin' me."

You obey with a frigid pout, letting him drape your thighs over his and brush his ring clad paws over your cheeks, down your neck.

"But what about your groupies and the pretty girls at the bars or in the front row?"

"What about 'em?" he says, just barely shaking his head, "I'll have somethin' way better waiting for me."

You chuckle. "You're crazy."

He cocks a brow. "Old news."

When he notices how close you've gotten, he smiles. Your manicured nails graze over his chest with the only light washing over you from the dimly lit kitchen. He can't resist his palm curling behind your neck, pulling you close for a sweet kiss.

"Where d'you keep your vases?" he mumbles, remembering the tulips resting on the little table.

"Kitchen. Above the fridge," you say with your fingers already slotting between his to pull him towards the warm light. He loves you like this: sickly sweet and tender, holding him all gentle in your hot pulse. You go to reach for a painted ceramic vase, but he wraps his arm around you and turns you away.

"Ah ah ah, drop it, sweetheart. That’s my job," he says against your temple, holding the lip of the vase and patting your ass. He takes the bouquet from your grasp and sets both on the counter by the sink. You hand him a pair of scissors and he carefully snips the stems jagged, filling the vase with water.

His stomach flips when you wrap your arms around his waist and clasp your hands at his belt. He sets the prepared arrangement aside and turns in your embrace.

"All done," he says wickedly, palming your face with his wet hands. You jump back with a squeal, pelting a dish rag at this chest.

"Use a towel, you slob!"

He chuckles and wipes his hands on his shirt, tossing the towel over his shoulder and leering at you like he's starved.

"Come here," he mumbles. You go a little shy under his gaze, dropping your head and shuffling towards his presence. He catches you by the hips, dipping down to catch your mouth in a prying kiss. You grin against him and he groans, tugging you tight against his body.

"Always love how soft you are, baby. Surprises me every time." He shakes his wild mane and purses his lips for you to kiss this time.

"Where d'you want the flowers?" he says.

"Bedroom?"

His eyes light up involuntarily, and he grabs the vase, bounding off towards your room gleefully. You jog to catch up with him, and when you enter the threshold, he's expertly positioning the vase next to a stack of books on your dresser.

"Much cleaner than mine," he says, gesturing around the room, "You keep it nice in here."

You shrug. "Could be cleaner."

"You can never see mine," he teases, knowing full well you already have. He slings his arms low on your hips, adoring you in the blue light of dusk. "Can I undress you?"

You bow your head and whisper, "teddy..."

"Not like that. Just wanna hold you."

You kiss his slanted mouth sweetly, nodding.

He reaches for the edge of your soft cotton dress, pulling it up and over your head. He whistles low upon seeing your undergarments, whipping his shirt off and onto the floor somwhere. You giggle, helping him with his belt buckle. He traces your temple with his lips leaving kisses along the way. He steps out of his jeans and lets you lead him around the bed.

His curls sprawl out against your pillows, and he welcomes you into his side with a lazy smile. Your reach to touch his waist and softly feel over the scar below his ribs.

"Little tender, bug," he hisses. You bat your eyes up at him scared, pulling your hand away.

"I'm sorry."

He shakes his head. "No, please," he whispers, cradling your wrist, his eyes locked with yours. He draws the hair away from your neck, replacing it with his fingers to dance down along your spine. You’re warmer than he’s ever felt before and thankful for it. His hands are cold, but he doesn’t have to worry about it for very long when you bring each fingertip to your lips for a kiss.

“You’re my girl, alright? Always,” he whispers and you nod, “always.”

masterlist

[paarksunghoon]

hello omg i love love LOVE deep honey, which is rare cus i usually do not touch fluff at all but smth abt the way u wrote got to me. i was wondering that in case u wanted an idea, u could write abt sunghoon rushing over to take care of his sick girlfriend? :3 just a thought or any headcannons u have on that would do fine but if u wanna turn it into a drabble or fic that's good too, especially if it's a continuation of deep honey

anyways, that is all from me, have a good day!!!

thank you so much :’) for all of my nsfw drabbles and content, I really enjoy writing the softer kind of stories. switched up the request just a little. consider this a token of my appreciation for your kindness. xx

ps this is what I’m imaging him wearing

***

If there’s one thing you know, it’s that nothing good could ever happen when you text someone past 2AM.

Both existential and physical dread consume you the second you open your texts and see a plethora of unread messages due to your current state of being. You’ve been bedridden for what feels like years but it’s only been a few of days. It’s technically Sunday morning and technically you should be fast asleep, especially since you’d taken medication to help you rest throughout the night. But seems like your body has other plans for you.

Tossing and turning won’t do either. Your head feels much better than it has for the past two days. You’d taken two days off or classes because of intense migraines paired with what seems like onset sickness due to it being flue season. Guilt over missing classes and groveling to your professors (even if they extended grace and told you to rest up) ate you alive, only ebbing away when you closed your eyes and slept.

Your roommate has been away because of a family event and what was once a promising weekend full of relaxation and the apartment to yourself is now a time for you to wallow in your misery. You’ve gone through countless tissues and have slept more in the past few days than in your entire life. It feels like your head might as well be cut off with how many problems your eyes, nose, and throat are giving you.

To pass the time, social media distracts you for a few minutes and you catch glimpses of what your friends have been up to. Partying. Studying. Eating at the cafeteria. All of these are mundane events you took for granted because you’d love to be anywhere but rotting away in your apartment. You’d rather studying for a midterm over feeling like you can’t move without losing your breath.

You take this time to catch up on texts as well. There are so many what remain unread by you and guilt crawls up your spine as you begin to reply to everything.

hi riki!! sorry I haven’t replied yet. I’ve been sick all weekend :/ I wish I could’ve gone to jake’s game with u bc it looked so fun ☹️

jungwon ur your cat is so cute omg…please send more vids. also sorry for replying late im sick lol

sunoo I swear to god if you watch another episode without me, I’m gonna beat your ass whenever I recover

yes, mom. I’m resting as much as I can! sorry I haven’t responded sooner. I still feel sick

heeseung do u think sunghoon would be weirded out if i text him right now. pls advise 😁

Heeseung immediately reads the message and the text bubble appears straight away. He’s one of your closest friends in university who always happens to be friends with Park Sunghoon, the guy you’ve been talking to for the past month and a half.

heeseung: Nah not weird. He’d probably like hearing from you

heeseung: He was asking about you earlier today and said you haven’t been talking to him as much

you: looking at my phone made me nauseous :/

heeseung: You should probably tell him that bc he’s been staring at his phone all day

you: soooo it wouldn’t be weird if I texted him out of the blue rn?? usually we don’t like…start conversations so late

heeseung: You’re overthinking. Just text him and if he doesn’t reply then he’s asleep and will text you in the morning

you: I’m scared of fucking it up

heeseung: There’s nothing to fuck up. If he gets mad that you took care of yourself (he won’t be) then he’s the one who fucked up

you: ugh when did u become the voice of reason

heeseung: :)

Your thumbs hover over the keyboard after you’ve opened Sunghoon’s text. You can imagine his slight pout when you think about how he’d react when he realizes you haven’t texted him back, which makes you feel even more guilty than you already are.

You’re not really sure how you started talking to him, let alone befriended Heeseung to the point where he started inviting you to hang out with him and his group of friends. Heeseung had originally been a study partner for a shared class back when the two of you were sophomores. It’s been a couple of years since then and now most of your conversations consist of TikTok jokes and Heeseung having to deal with you pining over one of his friends.

Sunghoon is every bit of cool you can imagine. He was so quiet when you first met him, residing in his oversized sweater since it was approaching the beginning of autumn. Heeseung invited you to a local bar on a Friday night after midterms and said your first drink would be on him if you made it before last call, knowing very well you were likely getting ready to slip underneath your blankets and call it a night.

He was right as always. You showed up wearing jeans and an old shirt with a jacket that was too big for your body. You’d made somewhat of an effort to look presentable since you’d be hanging out with his friends near campus and would rather not look like you’d gotten rolled over by a locomotive. It was there you met Sunghoon for the first time. He was so quiet that you barely heard him talk until an hour into hanging out with him, but that’s when you learned that he was someone you needed to get to know before he’d show you his loud, boisterous personality.

The more you hung out with him, the more you started to picture yourself with Sunghoon, away from the group you started to call your friends too. You’d only see him when Heeseung invited you out or if you bumped into someone else while Sunghoon was in tow with them. Neither of you seemed to cross paths otherwise and even then, Sunghoon was a bit too timid to approach you first and start a conversation.

Part of you wondered if you were ever too bold when you’d get drunk with him and your friends. You were loud, full of laughter and affection that none of your friends were surprised every time you shouted compliments across the tables and declared your love for the little group you considered to be your family away from home. Heeseung had gotten used to it pretty quickly and so did the others, albeit it took a while for their ears to stop glowing red every time you’d pull them into a drunken hug.

Maybe you sent a little too far with Sunghoon, who immediately tensed when your arms wrapped around his shoulders the first time you let your inhibitions down fully. A few beers and shots in, and Heeseung was anticipating your drunken rant about how much you love the little life the five of you had created and hoped that it would continue even after you all graduate.

Sunghoon always looked a bit intimidating with his dark, thick eyebrows and shielded his wandering eyes. He always looked like he knew what he wanted and his grace always made you think twice about what you’d say to him. Although, you knew this was the beginning of an onset crush that wouldn’t remain hidden for long, let alone when you weren’t sober.

So you’d thrown your arms around Sunghoon’s shoulder and told him how happy you were that Heeseung introduced the two of you. While you try not to think about that moment too much, you recall telling Sunghoon that he was slowly starting to become one of your favorite people because of how funny he is when people least expect it. You liked that he was so kind to his friends and that he was so confident in himself, and that you wished you could be a little more like him.

You also said he was the most beautiful person you’d ever seen. It was a sobering moment because he looked at you like you’d grown two heads and his shoulders felt like they might’ve been pushing you off of his body.

Stumbling with consistent apologies, none of your mutual friends seemed to notice what was happening behind them. You can picture the look on his face when your mind crosses to this moment, how he’d looked at you with bewilderment with his mouth ajar. Sunghoon didn’t say anything and you took that cue to leave him alone and head to the bar, where you hoped distance would make this night seem less tragic than it was.

When morning came around, you were the only person in your shared group chat who declined getting a late morning breakfast due to your embarrassment. Even during the next weekend, when Jake opened up his apartment for a casual hang out, you were the only person who didn’t show up, citing work and study stresses keeping you away from your friends.

Heeseung knew those were merely excuses.

“Cut the shit, Y/N. Are you okay? Did one of the guys do anything to make you uncomfortable?” The worst laced in his tone made you feel guilty for having him think the worse of people he knew before he met you.

“No, nothing like that. I think I’m the one who fucked up and made them uncomfortable.”

“Well clearly not since Jake invited you to his place. What’s going on? Do you want me to come over?”

The last thing you expected from Heeseung was to see him double over in laugher when you explained your predicament, clutching onto your bed like he’d fall to the ground if he didn’t. You’re sure that fit of laugher gave him a new set of abs.

“Sunghoon wasn’t weirded out. He texted me and asked if you were okay.” Heeseung pulled his phone out of his pocket to show you, leaving you in a cloud of confusion. “He probably likes you. Sunghoon’s a natural with girls even if he doesn’t realize they’re flirting with him. I think he likes you too because he’s acting really awkward because he doesn’t know how to deal with it.”

That night left you with more question than answers. You considered texting Sunghoon and asking if the two of you could talk, but you didn’t want to make him even more uncomfortable and tell him what Heeseung told you in fear of putting your friend in an awkward position. So you let the discomfort settle and braved seeing him the next time one of your friends invited you out.

Which, to no one’s surprise, was the weekend after Jake’s get together. Seoul’s autumn carnival was in its third weekend by the time the five of you were able to find adequate time to ride every rollercoaster and eat until your stomachs caved in. You loved the fair and were the first person to buy an admission ticket. Poor Jay, who wasn’t the biggest fan of big rides in the first place, tagged along with Jake every time he insisted on it. You tried your best to keep some distance between yourself and Sunghoon, even if Heeseung said you were being ridiculous. You’d chosen to stick by him until Sunghoon volunteered to help you pick up the food trays when you lost a game of rock-paper-scissors.

“I’m sorry that I acted weird that night,” he said, cutting the silence as the two of you waited for your order. He didn’t have to explain. You knew what he was talking about. “Heeseung said you felt bad for making me feel uncomfortable but I need you to know you didn’t make me feel that way.”

That was the longest sentence he’d ever said to you, let alone it being the first time he initiated a conversation with you. He watched as you stood with your eyes wide and mouth parted like you wanted to say something but didn’t know how to say it.

“I think you just caught me off guard. I wasn’t expecting you to say nice things about me. I didn’t realize we were that close because you’d been affectionate with everyone but me up until that night.” He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. “I was, uh, flustered.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” He averted your gaze and looked at his shoes momentarily before he looked back at you. “I liked what you said. I haven’t stopped thinking about it.”

You laughed at the awkwardness dissipating. “I thought I crossed a line, or something. You just sat there and I thought I fucked up by touching you.”

He shook his head. “You didn’t. I…I liked it a lot.” You tried to hide a grin by keeping your bubbling excitement under wraps failed miserably. Sunghoon smiled too, offering to carry most of the trays back to the table where your friends were too hungry to talk for the next ten minutes.

The memory brings you back to the present where your thumbs hover the keyboard. You start to read back the conversation between the two of you and feel those butterflies erupt in your stomach for the umpteenth time. The two of you have talked about anything and everything. Nothing is off limits. So why is texting him to let him know you’ve been sick for the past few days so difficult for you?

you: hi

you: sorry I haven’t texted a lot in the past few days. I’ve been having migraines and now I’ve caught a cold ):

you: im sorry for texting so late too

He texts immediately.

sunghoon: You don’t have to be sorry. Are you feeling better now?

sunghoon: Actually don’t answer that

Your phone rings.

“Hey,” you say with your phone propped against your ear. “Sorry for bothering you.”

“You’re not bothering me. I’m the only who’s calling you when you’re sick, so I’m technically the one bothering you.” His laugh on the other line makes you smile a little too hard. “I was really worried. None of the guys heard from you so I figured you needed some space.”

“Unfortunately. I had to skip a few classes because it hurt to stand up. I’m pretty sure I’ve slept more this past week than I have in the last month.”

“I’m sorry. That really sucks.”

“I feel bad that I haven’t been able to talk to you.”

As if Sunghoon could sense you pouting, he clicks his tongue and reassures you. “It’s fine, Y/N. I’d probably do the same thing. I can’t imagine how much pain you’ve been in.”

“I would honestly rather study and take a million midterms than go through this again. I feel like someone just took their shoe off of my head.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear you’re doing better. Can I bring you anything? Medicine, maybe?”

You cough a little. “No, but thank you. My friend dropped off a lot of NyQuil and other stuff to help me. It’s working…kind of. Still feel like shit, though.”

“…Can I come over? To help you with your sickness, of course. I can bring you soup.”

“You don’t have to do that.” You frantically rise from your bed amidst his words and realize there are tissues on the ground and dirty clothes strewn everywhere because of your lack of energy. Your living room must be a mess, too, and this would also be the first time Sunghoon would see you without any makeup on.

“I want to. But I mean, only if you’re up for it. I don’t want to stress you out since you’re sick. I just want to help make you feel better. That…and I miss you.”

Sunghoon’s never been so direct before. Even though the two of you have been talking for a while, neither of you have been so forward about it. Conversations are always subtly flirty to the point where the effervescent feeling simmers just underneath the surface. The two of you have hung out without the rest of your friends and have been alone before, but neither one of you has gone so far as you be so bold about the other.

“I miss you too,” you whisper into the phone.

“Give me thirty minutes. I’ll come with soup.”

He hangs up and with a newfound sense of urgency, you make your bed and throw away any stray trash. You put your dirty laundry in the hamper, which is piled high and untouched. It’ll be a problem for when you’re not sick.

The living room isn’t too bad. You straighten furniture and throw away empty takeout containers and wash a few utensils. The tasks don’t feel as draining as they did a few days ago and you’re starting to regain a little bit of your breath.

True to his word, Sunghoon arrives thirty minutes after he said he would. You open the door and look at him. He’s wearing blue hoodie and sweatpants with specs that make him look significantly more attractive than you’re used to.

“Hi,” Sunghoon says with a gentle smile. “I missed you.”

You bite your lip and blurt out your first thought. “You look really good in those glasses.”

Sunghoon chuckles. “Thank you. Can I come in?”

“Right, right.” You step aside and he follows you into your apartment. He takes his shoes off and places them neatly by the shoe rack.

“I might need to reheat this. I got it from that place near my apartment. You know, the one with the yellow banner?”

“I love that place.”

He smiles at you. “I know. Can I heat up some soup for you?”

When you nod, Sunghoon moves to the correct cabinet and pulls out everything he needs. It astounds you because he’s only ever been to your apartment twice before, both times with your other friends in tow. It dawns on you that it’s the first time the two of you are alone in your space. You’re touched that he remembers where your things are.

He beckons you to sit on the counter in front of the steaming bowl and the aroma of spices makes your mouth water. You haven’t been able to eat consistently in the past few days, surviving on bland foods like bread and crackers to sustain your health because anything else made you feel sicker than you were. The steam feels good against your skin and you dig in right away.

Sunghoon pulls your hair back when it gets close to the rim and holds it for you while you lap up the soup. It seems as though you’re hungrier than you thought because you sit there wordlessly, shoveling liquid into your mouth while Sunghoon watches.

“Sorry,” you apologize. “I must look like a zoo animal.”

“You’re sick, Y/N. You have nothing to apologize for. The first meal you can stomach is the best one.” It’s like he gets you. Sunghoon continues to hold your hair back until you’re finished. He washes the bowl and spoon, and puts it back where they belong.

Sunghoon turns around and looks at you under the ambient lighting you and your roommate put up in lieu of the overhead lights. It feels like he’s inspecting you and you try really hard not to think about the fact that you don’t feel presentable in this moment.

“Your apartment feels very you,” Sunghoon says. “I like all of the green furniture and the art on the wall.”

“My roommate picked the decor out but I’m starting to understand why she loves art so much.”

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” he asks, looking at you. “Would you want to go to an art museum with me?”

“I’d really like that.”

Sunghoon pulls you by the hand to your couch and you try your best not to feel flustered with his touch. He sits you down on the cushion and immediately you feel like you need to be hyper vigilant because he’s looking around the apartment and you’re wondering if he can see the messes you see.

“Do you have a blanket? We could watch some TV. Or I could go. I don’t know.”

“Don’t go.” You say it too quickly but Sunghoon’s shoulders relax. “The blankets are beside the couch.”

He drapes it over you, leaving himself to fend for the cold. Although you’re sure he’s pretty warm, you open up the blanket and invite him to share it with you.

This is new territory. You two have just been talking. But Sunghoon isn’t deterred. He slots himself next to you and doesn’t shy away when he feels your arm pressed against him.

“Sorry for the mess. And for, well…” He watches you gesture to your face, which is undoubtedly red with dark circles underneath your eyes.

“You don’t have to apologize for anything. I still like you.”

You aren’t used to him being so upfront like this. He watches you with easy eyes, the kind of feeling that makes you believe what he says. Sunghoon is pretty reserved when it comes to these types of things and you often find yourself being the one to push him towards his bolder side. But even though you feel flustered by his words and underneath his stare, you like this newer side of him.

“I’m such a mess.”

Sunghoon watches you push your forehead into his shoulder in an attempt to hide yourself from him. He smiles at your antics and loves the feeling of your body on his. He’s been hesitant to do things like hold your hand or kiss your cheek in fear or overstepping a boundary. He doesn’t know what came over him when he held your hair back from falling into the hot soup. He knows very well that he could’ve asked where you kept your hair ties, but helping you when he knows you need it felt like the right thing to do.

Now, he wonders if you’re growing bolder with him too. You let your forehead rest against his hoodie as you take deep breaths. He hears you sniffle a few times and nearly coos at the mere thought of you suffering from your sickness. When you pull yourself away from him, the tip of your nose is slightly runny and your eyes look a bit more red than usual.

“I feel like I got hit by a truck.”

He bites his lip. “You could look worse.” You try not to let your cheeks rise in heat.

“You’re just being nice.”

Sunghoon laughs and shakes his head. He could never lie about how he feels towards you. “Nope. You still look really cute.” He watches the gears work inside your head and locates the TV remote when you don’t say anything. “What do you want to watch?”

“I dunno.”

“C’mon, you must’ve been watching TV while you were cooped up here.”

You shake your head. “Migraine, remember? Felt like my eyes were gonna burst.”

This time, he coos out loud. Sunghoon puts on a show you’ve mentioned enjoying in the past and hopes he chose correctly. You seem to be mellowing out and paying attention to the screen in front of you until you start breathing heavily. It’s not until he hears you try to silence a small coughing fit that he shoots up from his seat and pours you a glass of water.

“Here.” Sunghoon doesn’t let you hold the glass. Instead, he beckons your mouth open by placing the rim between your lips and lets you swallow the water, tilting it up until you’ve consumed all of it. He wipes the excess water from the corners of your mouth with his thumb and looks down at you with concern. “Do you have any tea? I can make you some. Hopefully that’ll soothe your throat.”

“Stupid medicine isn’t working,” you grumble. “I might as well perish.”

“Tea, baby,” Sunghoon says, the pet name rolling off his tongue with ease. You almost don’t notice it. “Where do you keep your tea and honey?”

“Cabinet beside the fridge.”

Sunghoon comes back a few minutes later with piping hot chamomile tea with honey. You don’t know how he does it, anticipating your every need and putting just enough honey where it doesn’t feel like you’re stuffing your throat with the sweet nectar. You sip on it slowly as he situates himself back underneath the blanket and keeps his eyes on the television while you try to calm your erratic heartbeat.

Eventually, the episode finished and it’s almost four in the morning when you start to get sleepy. Sunghoon hears you yawning beside him and does his best not to grin like a lovesick idiot when you push your body against his in an attempt to get comfortable. You’re holding the empty cup loosely in your hands when your eyes start to droop and as much as Sunghoon would love to stay like this, he knows it’ll be better for you to sleep in your own bed with your back against the mattress.

“Baby,” Sunghoon whispers. He grabs the mug from your hands and sets it on the coffee table. “I think you should sleep in your bed. You’ll feel a lot better when you wake up.”

“But you’re so warm.”

He bites back a smile. “Thank you, but you’re gonna wake up with back pain and I know you’ll be mad that you didn’t sleep with pillows.”

He’s right and you know it but that doesn’t stop you from letting a whine slip past. Sunghoon doesn’t complain when you lean on him for support (or rather, you push your full weight onto him because you cannot be bothered with physical tasks at this late hour). Instead, he holds your waist with his arm and guides you into your bedroom from his memory of coming here a couple times before now.

Despite this, he’s never been inside your room. You’ve always kept the door closed but as he opens it, Sunghoon completely melts at how your bedroom is so utterly you. The dark green comforter hugs your queen-sized bed and a mountain of pillows cover the top near the bed frame. Your desk is an organized mess of notebooks, pens, and highlighters you carry with you during study sessions. Photographs in pretty frames decorate your walls along with posters of your favorite music and films.

He spots a picture of the two of you from that day at the amusement park when Heeseung insisted on taking a photo since the lighting was ��perfect.” Sunghoon suspected that wasn’t the case but let him take it anyhow. He always considered that to be his first official memory with you. Knowing you might feel the same makes Sunghoon’s heart flutter.

“Let’s get you into bed, yeah?”

His soft touches make you fall much deeper into your tiredness. The mattress below you feels too good to be true as Sunghoon opens the blankets for you to crawl underneath. He watches you carefully as you scoot to one side and make yourself comfortable, wondering if you’re enjoying the side of him that wants to pamper you.

When you’re all tucked in with the blankets underneath your chin, Sunghoon can’t help but lean down and brush a few stray hair strands from your face. He caresses your cheek and holds himself back despite your lips being right in front of him. Instead, he settles for rubbing your soft cheek with his thumb before leaving.

Except, you reach out and grab onto his wrist. “Where are you going?”

His looks back at you in the dim light. “Home, baby. I’ll let you sleep.”

The pout you’re wearing is tearing him limb from limb. “I don’t want you to go home.”

“No?”

You shake your head. “Please…I haven’t seen you at all this week.” Sunghoon hears the strain in your voice and he isn’t sure if you’re awake enough to know what you’re saying. “I-I just want you here with me.”

How could he say no to that?

Sunghoon sits on the empty side of the bed and lets you guide your hand in his bigger one. He watches as you shake your head and he’s about to ask what you mean when you open the blanket.

He feels momentarily guilty when he pulls his hand away from you because he hears you whine again, but he slips off his hoodie to avoid overheating. He’s left in his sweatpants and a loose shirt when sliding into your bed right next to you.

You waste no time and attach yourself to Sunghoon, pushing your body until you’re resting on his chest. He does his best not to let his heartbeat give him away. This is the most he’s ever touched you. At best, he’d brush his hand against yours and waited for the right time to hold it. Today feels like he’s thrown caution into the wind.

Sunghoon puts his glasses on your night table and pulls you close to him, encircling his arms until he finds a comfortable position. Your warm breaths litter his skin and he feels like he could run laps with how happy he is in this moment. You look so cute with your body limp against his. He loves that you’re not hesitant around him anymore and hopes you know just how much he wants you close to him.

“Can I tell you a secret?” Sunghoon says in the dark, unsure if you’re still awake or not.

“What’s your secret?”

Your eyes remain closed, eyelashes covering your beautiful eyes and your cheeks are squished into a pout against his chest. He looks down at you like you’re precious cargo and a rare gem he never wants to let go of.

“I really want to kiss you.”

You don’t say anything. Instead, Sunghoon feels you move your head until you press a kiss against his chest, allowing your lips to linger for a few seconds before reverting back to your original position.

“Kiss me tomorrow.”

Sunghoon hears you snoring soon after.

“Yeah,” he whispers to himself. “I can do that.”

***

comments and reblogs are appreciated! x

[upsidedownmvnson]

dungeons and douchebags | eddie munson

where eddie munson kills your dnd character out of spite & you end up in the hospital in the same day. eddie, of course, blames only himself.

full fic of this blurb :)

AN: i named the third guy keith bc he needed a name, and if his role was pre-established im SORRY but hes a mage. a lot of the dnd stuff im sure is wrong and doesnt work but let me live

also i love this so u should to

also also I KNOW ITS A SHITTY THING FOR A DM TO DO - thats the point

Eddie’s annoyed with you when you’re not on time for Hellfire.

You know he’s sensitive about starting on time, but still you were running late again, even though this time you promised it would be different, and you would even be early.

And Eddie had foolishly believed you again. It hurt especially, because even though you were just friends, Eddie was so painfully in love with you. All day every day, he was pining, yearning, longing. You were on his mind all the time, and you... you couldn't even bother to be on time for Hellfire.

When he begged you to be on time earlier in the day, he had made sure to mention that it would mean a lot to him if you were on time. And he thinks that if you love him back, you'll definitely care when he communicates something like that.

He knows he shouldn't let himself feel like this, but every Friday he's reminded that he's not special to you. He's not the one person you're always on time for. Eddie thinks, somehow, that if you're on time for Hellfire, well then maybe you like him too. It's silly, but it's what he does. It gets more painful as time goes on and you're still not there.

The mood slowly shifts to something tense as time ticks on. You’re always a couple minutes late but nearly an hour? Eddie is painfully frustrated, and his feelings are hurt. Eddie has overthught himself to a dramatic conclusion that you've decided you're above Hellfire.

While the party chats on totally unaware, barely even recognizing that they still haven't started, Eddie thinks you've looked in the mirror and recognized that you're better than them. That you can, and should, have everything and everyone you want. He thinks you'll want to be with a jock. Or maybe a cheerleader. He thinks you've decided not to love him.

In a fit of self pity and rage, he decides to leave your character behind, so the party left you alone, sleeping in a cave.

"Attention," Eddie says, "the sun is rising. It's time to pack your bags and move on."

Dustin looks confused, "where's y/n?"

"Who knows?" Eddie tries to look unamused to hide his pain, but it slips, and ends up just looking angry.

Eddie rolls a perception check for you to see if you wake up. He rolls an 18. And with your build you would've noticed the group leaving without you. Eddie is still think about you in the arms of a jock. "She fails." Eddie looks at the group with an evil grin. "You leave the camp unnoticed."

As the game goes on, Eddie feels crappy. He's never cheated like that before. Like, sure, he's changed a roll or two to make the plot better, or to not totally kill one of his players because some random NPC got a nat 20. That was his right as DM. But... leaving you like that was less than cool.

But even worse, when they return to the cave later, you're stuck in a bandit situation. Eddie really, truly, genuinely expected the party to save you. Except, one thing led to another, and you were stabbed through stomach, making you bleed out. Normally, this is where you'd roll your life saving throws.

It wasn't really supposed to play out like that. But he didn't expect the party to roll such terrible throws, all of them accidently leaving you defenseless. Eddie kinda feels bad, but you hurt him first.

What he doesn't expect is Steve Harrington bursting into the drama room, looking frenzied, just a few moments later. The party halts. The last thing happening in the game was the party finishing off the last bandit, and running to your aid. But now, they were all just staring at Steve. Eddie approached his friend, worried about the look in Steve’s eyes.

Steve stood up straight, and cleared his throat. Weakly he says, “something terrible happened.”

And then Steve tells them all about your car accident, and Eddie feels sick. His knees buckle, and Steve has to hold him up. He’s totally disoriented by this news. He feels his heartbeat pounding behind his eyes, and his ears ring loudly, barely registering the panicked talking going on around him

“They're alive,” Steve was shouting, but because people weren’t letting him talk, he had to keep shouting it over the hundred questions. They wouldn't be able to handle it. Not again. Not when Max still hasn't woken up. “Eddie? Can you hear me buddy?”

But Eddie was in shock. He was blaming himself. He killed you.

“Can you walk? I'll drive you,” Steve says, as Gareth searches Eddie's pockets for the keys to the van. “Dustin, get over here, help me get Eddie to the car.” Eddie overhears Jeff tell everyone to meet at the van.

As soon as they get moving, the adrenaline starts pumping through Eddie’s body. He was suddenly able to break free of his friends' aid and pick up his pace, and the three of them ran through the school and into the parking lot. The dim light Steve parked by was flickering, putting a weak spotlight on Eddie as he tugged the door handle on the passenger seat

“Let me unlock it,” Steve snapped, fumbling the keys in his hand. He dropped them, the pressure of Eddie’s stare was kinda terrifying. He got the door open and unlocked the others.

When they were in the car, Eddie was finally alert, if anything overaware.

“What the fuck is going on?” he snapped.

No one said anything. There was nothing they could say that would make Eddie feel better, or calm down. Steve sped out of the parking lot, blowing the stop sign. He really shouldn't have, given the whole reason you were in the hospital.

Eddie squeezed his eyes shut. This wasn't happening. He was wrong. He was being petty and he was hurt because he thought you were being a dick but you were - he was gunna throw up - you were somewhere bleeding. While he was busy killing you, you were actually laying on the asphalt after a violent car crash. And he was thinking you're an asshole

“Their character died,” Eddie said, “I've killed them.”

“It's not gunna happen,” Steve said, gripping the steering wheel. It was a statement he couldn't back up.

At the hospital, Eddie barely waited for the car to stop before he was running inside, tripping over his own feet as he rushed to get to you. dustin was hot on his trail and steve was parking the car.

Eddie saw Nancy with Jonathan over by the nurse's station, and when Nancy saw him, she came hustling over, putting her hands on Eddie's arms. Dustin spoke quietly with Jonathan in the background.

“Relax,” she said, “please breath. They’re okay right now, they’re in surgery, and it's going really well, okay?”

“Wheeler?” Eddie asked, eyes filling with tears he had no control over.

“It has to be fine,” Nancy said, “sit with me.” Nancy Wheeler was not going to lose another friend today. Not again.

And with no other options he listened, following Nancy to an uncomfortable plastic chair that squeaked when he sat. Nancy held his hand over the stiff arm rests, but he didn't find any comfort. He didn't think he would until he was with you again.

Jonathan sat beside Nancy, giving her a sad smile and handing her a bitter coffee. He sat quietly, letting Nancy give Eddie her attention. Dustin sat on the other side of Eddie, also opting to stay quiet. What was anyone supposed to say?

Honestly, the only thing Eddie wanted to hear was your voice.

Nothing changed for the first two days. But on the third day, the only change was in Eddie. He went from sitting quietly by your side to scribbling stuff in a notebook like a crazy person. He would also dip out to go use a library computer, or "check on some things," as he explained to Nancy.

Her and Steve were mutually concerned about Eddie's state. He was constantly babbling about saving you, and how he's figured it out they just have to succeed.

Everyone else got a chance to be worried when they got a call Tuesday saying there was a mandatory Hellfire meeting and anyone not in attendance would be left behind, and unwelcome for the rest of the campaign. He couldn't risk a single missing member. Not with the stakes...

Tuesday evening, Gareth, Jeff, and Keith are the first to arrive. They are curious as to what the hell their bandmate had cooked up, but they were more worried than excited. Eddie hadn't exactly been himself the last couple of days.

They don't expect a set up even more elaborate than usual. The lights are red and blue, making the room feel eerie, and small.

"Welcome to Hell," Eddie said, grinning and holding his arms open wide.

Gareth and Jeff exchanged a look, but were too nervous to speak. Eddie didn't want to explain the objective twice, so he waited for the rest of the party to arrive before he said anything, but the look in his eye feels sinister. His friends suddenly realized how truly fucked Eddie would be if anything happened to you.... like... for keeps.

When the rest of the party is there, they look to Eddie expectantly, but he just continues to smile like a maniac and tells everyone to take their seats. Dustin is confused to see Steve Harrington sneak into the room and lean against the wall.

"I cheated," he says when he has the attention of the flock, "y/n didn't fail the perception check, and therefore their death wasn't fair. However, death is death. So we're going to have to bring them back."

Dustin notices that Steve Harrington's presence is not explained.

Nancy sits at your bedside like she has for the better part of the last four days. She holds a book in one hand, and the other rests casually beside you, near your hand. She looks at you, and then her hand. She gets a supernatural chill.

She puts her book down, and speaks your name quietly, looking for any sign of life from you. One more day of your glass features and she was going to crumble. Nancy shakes the bizarre feeling from her head, and pats your hand.

She shocked when you're ice cold to the touch. She recoils, pulling away fast. But after the initial shock fades, she touches you again. There was no way that was right, right? You were freezing. What the hell was that about? Nancy starts a search for a blanket to warm you up.

A mage freezes your body. The party scavenges for anything that can help and then leave the cave, your frozen body in tow. Another player can't make life saving throws for you, so they were thinking outside the box. They would take you deep, deep into an ancient necromancer's lair, and steal the resurrection stone from around his neck.

Nancy returns with a simply grey blanket, and a very friendly nurse. They had gotten to talking, and Nancy has simply explained how cold you had been, having not thought too much of it. The nurse, Sophie, had decided to come check it out too.

"Oh my gosh," Sophie says, feeling the ice cold skin. "Oh my gosh, she's like ice!"

And leaves Nancy feeling a little worried as she scurries out of the room. It was like she'd never seen anything like it. Nancy feels uneasy, and makes a quick phone call from your bedside phone. Jonathan picks up, and as soon as he hears the concern in her voice, he's on the way.

Nancy hangs up, picks the phone back up, and calls Steve. He picks up on the first ring.

"Something is like... actually happening over here," she whispers, shocked to even be saying it.

"No shot," he says, nearly laughing at the idea. He whispers the next part so the group doesn't hear anything, "I thought we agreed Eddie was just crazy, and this whole 'saving her character will save her' was just to show him that he didn't cause all this."

"I know we did," she said, "but y/n is cold as ice."

Eddie's voice booms as he narrates the perilous journey. After trap rooms, fighting devil dogs, two gargoyles, and a Molydeus that nearly killed Mike. They had made it into the inner sanctum, but had all failed to roll perception upon entering, and set off a fire trap. One that melted the spell on you, leaving you warm enough to die. "Hurry!" Dustin shouted, "engage the necromancer! Hit 'em with everything we got."

Nancy is already back into her book, Jonathan sitting on the floor beside her, leaning his head against the armrest, while she dangles a dainty arm over his shoulder, letting it lay relaxed on his chest. A single beep draws her attention. She notices something different, but she can't say what. Your cheeks are rosy.

Nancy brings her hand off of Jonathan, drawing his attention too. She puts a cool hand against your forehead, and is again shocked by how you feel. You're burning up. You're fucking hot. Like boiling. Nancy runs to find Sophie again.

The turn is Keith's, his mage more powerful than the others, but instead turns his attention to your character. "I cast flesh to stone on y/n!" the mage shouts. "She'll die if she stays like this." "Roll for it!" "18!" "Pass!" Your body is frozen again, this time encased in stone. Another stall, and Eddie knows the party is running out of time.

"You have to feel her head," Nancy says, speed walking with the bubbly nurse hot on her trail. Sophie complies, and gasps.

"It's not possible," she says quietly, "I'm getting the doctor. There's something strange about your friend."

Nancy looks down at you, and jumps out of her skin when the machines start beeping wildly. All of them making different noises, all of them loud. Sophie rushes back in, with more staff behind her. Nancy and Jonathan are ushered out of the room by a woman who explains that you're in a code blue, which means they have to resuscitate you.

Nancy looks around the white hallway. She's overwhelmed and underpaid.

"Stay here," she tells her boyfriend. "This is crazy!"

But she runs off before she explains anything else. She's after a phone, which she finds with no trouble. She fishes a quarter out of her pocket, and uses it to call Steve again. He picks up as fast as last time, desperate for something other than watching dnd.

"Whatever they're doing, tell them to hurry up!" she's shouting, drawing the attention of patients and staff around her. "Something's happening! She's not breathing!"

The necromancer stands injured. The party cornering him, making him cower. He trembles, and begs for his life. He explains that the party came to his home, killed his people, and now wish to rip off the very thing that keeps him alive. "I stab him through the heart, and I take the necklace." Dustin says. As he looks at Steve, he thinks he understands what's going on. "Roll." "For what?" "Dexterity." Dustin rolls his die. The table is silent. The little D20 lands. the group erupts when they see the Nat 20 he rolled, effectively grabbing the necklace and throwing it around your neck from a metre away like horseshoe. As it lands on you, the ground shifts under the party's feet. Everyone stares in silence, both in the campaign and real life. Your character opens her eyes, coughs, and rises.

The party roars to life at the table, cheering at a job well done and slamming hands on the table in excitement. But the cheers are short lived, silence coats the room but this one is different. It's serious, eery. They can see that Steve looks worried, and he's trying to get Nancy to answer him, but he's getting nothing. looking at Steve expectantly. Apparently, everyone had figured out what the plan was. They all knew they were trying to wake you up. Steve says nothing. Just hangs up the phone, looking up with a disappointed frown.

"The line went dead."

Steve is once again driving Eddie to the hospital. And he's a nervous wreck. You're like schrodinger's cat. Eddie doesn't know if you're alive or not. He chews on the side of his thumb during the entire ride. The rest of the club was waiting patiently in the drama room. Eddie and Steve promised to call as soon as they knew anything.

Eddie can't fucking breath as he sprints down the hospital hallways, ignoring every sign and person telling him not to. He doesn't care. He has to get to you.

Wheeler is outside your room talking to a doctor, but with her back to him he couldn't see the bright, beautiful smile on her face talking excitedly about your miraculous recovery. Eddie runs right passed her to your room, and uses the doorframe to propel himself in, scaring both you and Jonathan who had been sitting quietly.

You look pale, and there are bags under your eyes. But you're sporting a weak smile, shaky hands holding a cup of lime jello. Eddie can't help but smile. You're awake, sitting up, and smiling at him. He has to laugh at the like, ten empty jello packages. Jonathan slips out the door without a word, and Eddie takes his seat by your bed.

"I was so fuckin' scared," Eddie says, tears falling from his eyes before he could even process it. He hadn't realized.

You hold your hand out for him and whisper, "Eddie," and he looks up, puppy dog eyes glossy with lingering tears, and heartbreaking to see. He takes your hand. "You didn't do this."

And he cries harder, leaning down and holding your hand to his forehead and begging your forgiveness anyway. "I did," he cries, "out of spite and jealousy, I tried to hurt you, and I did. I let them leave you alone. I made them and I cheated-"

"-Eddie-"

"-and you should've seen the party-"

"-Eddie, seriously-"

"-leaving because you totally passed the, ow, hey!"

You had flicked him on the nose, his babbling giving you no other choice, but as usual he was being dramatic, you hadn't actually hurt him at all.

"Eddie, stop, and listen to me," you say, "you didn't do this. You're not actually all powerful, you know that, right?"

"But-"

"But nothing," you say, smiling. "But Nancy told me that you saved me so no hard feelings."

Eddie smiles back at you, letting you wipe the tears leftover on his flushed cheeks. He leans into your touch and your heart swells. In your mind, you beg him to kiss you. You beg and plead and hope that this will be the time he makes a move.

He knows this is his chance, he leans closer to you, slowly, gauging your reaction. "Is this okay?" he whispers, when he's just an inch from your lips. You feel his breath as he speaks and you can't resist, pushing yourself forward to close the gap. And he kisses you like he's kissed you a hundred times before. Like he already knows everything you will like, even before you do. His lips are so fucking soft against yours, all plush and warm and taking over your senses.

"Well, I guess I can tell the others that you're fine," Steve says, and Eddie pulls away from you. His sudden absence is cold.

"I saved her," Eddie says, grinning. "Nancy said so."

the hair on the back of will's neck having a disco party during this entire fic

[princessbrunette]

Rafe with a reader who's known around as being a tease, all talk. I feel like he wouldn't like it very much

s1 rafe again bc for some reason im obsessed w him lately

⠄･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄

he’s heard about you. a tease, as they call it — always flirting, batting your eyelashes up at every guy and then never putting out. no one was quite sure what kind of sick game you were playing, attracting the eyes of many at every kook gathering or country club outing but rafe was intrigued. not enough to do anything about it, but enough to watch from a far and ponder.

but you wanted rafe, and all his attention — which is why you’re sat right up next to him on a couch at some stuffy mansion party, watching him cut coke for one of his friends. youre practically pressed to his side, and he’s barely giving you the time of day, only making you want him more.

the only reason you turned down all those guys was because you only wanted him. even flirty girls like yourself could gain hardcore crushes, and now he was right by your side it felt like it was going nowhere.

“what you want, huh? you after somethin’ free? coke?” he glances at you, simultaneously waving to one of his friends across the room. you pout, not even able to hold his focus. luckily for you, your tipsiness made you more bold. bold and horny.

“m’interested in you.” you thumb at the sleeve of his polo, sulky and childishly begging for his attention. he laughs, eyes creasing at the side and at first you don’t even know if it was directed at you, until he turns his head— dropping the expression to something faux-serious, wide eyes and parted lips.

“oh yeah? me and the 50 other poor suckers you’re stringin’ along?” he teases and you shake your head, watching as his pal lifts his head from snorting the white lines, sliding a wad of cash across the table through the residue. rafe picks it up, starting to count it.

“you know i never actually do anything with those guys…” you defend.

“so i heard.” he turns back to you, cash fanned between two hands. “and you’ve chosen me tonight as your next victim. y’not gonna get so lucky there, sweetheart.”

“why not?” you couldn’t believe how pathetic you sounded, and maybe you were a masochist because something about the way he was the one controlling the conversation instead of you for once felt good.

“‘cus i’m not an idiot.” he folds the cash, pulling a clip out of his pocket and clipping the wad— shoving it deep into his pocket as he sends a parting smile to the customer. “what do you actually— i mean actually want from me?”

you look up at him beneath your lashes, a doll like appearance to your demure pout. damn, he thinks— you’re good at this.

“i’m just attracted to you rafe. wanted to talk to you. if you’re not interested just tell me. no need to embarrass me.”

he stares at you for a moment, and he kind of feels himself feel a little nagging guilt at his chest which he doesn’t appreciate. he sighs, shifting his body a little more towards you and pinches your jaw, making you look at him. it’s not a super rough gesture, but you blink in surprise anyway and the feeling goes straight to your pussy.

“and what’s gonna happen if we go upstairs to talk some more, hm?” he challenges making you swallow hard, never having felt needier for someone you’ve only had around seven fleeting conversations with in your life.

“w—we can get to know eachother and then maybe… can get to know other parts of you…” you admit, somehow shyly despite being such a floozy with other men. it fills him with pride at the fact he’s brought that side out of you, that is if that side is real of course.

he looks down at his crotch and back up at you suggestively. such a boy, you shouldn’t like it this much. “n’what about when i pull it out, huh? y’gonna run away?” he speaks lower, quieter, he’s talking about his dick to you in the middle of this party and you’re stupidly wet.

your lips part, eyes glancing at his mouth like you can’t contain yourself and your throat even trembles with the quietest mewl, relishing in the way his fingers clutch your jaw. “g’nna spit on it. suck on it. whatever you want, rafe…” your voice is airy, desperate. he smirks and lets go.

“alright. we’ll see. i’ll find you, yeah? got some business to attend to.” he gets up, leaving you. rafe cameron was making you work for it.

⠄･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

Hi hi babe!!!!

Ugh I'm so happy that you're request inbox is open hehe cause you know me

So I have a thot and was wondering if you could whip something up for me based on the lyrics of art deco by the one and only lana

(A little party never hurt no one

Not you and me

A little party never hurt no one

We were born to be free)

With of course Matty and some smut with it please? Love you babe 💗💗💗

my pumpkin hi!! okay so I got a little sidetracked and kinda went off course a bit, I sorta based the beginning part literally of those lyrics, and kinda did a bit of an age gap, I know im sorry!! couldn’t help myself, but suits bc it’s our queen, lana, right?? I made it a little longer than planned, but only bc I love you. thank you for requesting, hope you like it💌

—

friday’s

matt murdock x f!reader

word count: 1240

warnings: 18+ readers only!! mention of an age gap, cunnilingus. mdni

✧.┊ MASTERLIST

As you're a little younger than Matt - a few substantial years younger - you were in different phases of your lives, nothing drastic. You just liked to spend your weekends getting blackout drunk at the nearest club, whereas your boyfriend, Matt, enjoyed a quiet night in with a takeout dinner. 

When your free time coincides- usually weekends, you'd spend time together. You'd take turns to pick said activity, allowing for a fair game. Considering you picked last weekend, it was now Matt's turn to choose, and to no surprise, it was the same as all the other countless weekends. 

You're both sprawled out on the sofa, laying lazily against each other after your overindulgence from the local Chinese restaurant, cartons cluttering the coffee table. You peek up to look at Matt, a subtle smile on your face as you rest your chin on his chest. "Wanna go out?" 

"Out? Sweetheart, we just ate," he grins in his usual way, shaking his head in amusement. "Don't you think it's a little late?" he asks, entertaining you.

"Never too late," you perk up, an excited smile on your face. "That's not a 'no'. Come on, a little party never hurt no one."

"No, sweetheart," he chuckles, tightening his grip as if to pull you back to him. "It's my turn, remember?"

"You’re so boring," you mumble, prodding his ribs with a pointed finger.

"Aw, I'm sorry," he plays along, teasing you. "Was I too hard on you?"

You hum in agreement, trailing over his chest with a featherlight touch. "Yeah. Uncalled for." 

"That so?" he asks, his voice low and quiet, almost like he was trying to lure you. 

“Mh-hm," you nod, still playful as you sit up, slipping from his grasp. "I think I'm going to sit in the other room now."

Matt catches on instantly- well, he knew from the start, but he'd never admit that to you. He found it endearing when you thought you could trick him, how your heart jumps a few beats when you tease him or how your breathing quickens when you lie. He knew you well, and he knew these teasing mind games you loved to play- every single one.

And right now, you were playing his favourite one of all. The one where you pout and pretend to be in a mood to get what you want. It was always harmless and playful on your behalf, never any intended malice. You enjoyed how he'd hang onto what you say and anticipate what you want, like you had him around wrapped around your finger.

Though, it was often more than that. You liked to work Matt up, get him so bothered that he had to do something about it- do something to you about it. But sometimes, you forgot who Matt is. And as much as he loved to be teased by you, there was only so much he could take, especially with a rock hard cock between his legs. 

"I think you want to stay in," he smiles down at you, the corners of his pretty lips twitching with suggestive thought. 

"No, I wanna go out," you lie, protesting your non-existent ground. "I can just call my friends if you're not gonna give me what—"

A firm yet gentle tap on the ass cuts you off. "Are you telling me I don't give you what you want?" Matt faintly asks, adjusting himself so you are in his place, your back against the couch with him hovering atop. "Do I not give you what you want?" he whispers, closing the space between you, grazing your lips with his own. "Is that true, sweetheart?"

"Yeah," you pathetically oppose once more, shamelessly lying to a blind catholic. 

He tuts, lingering against your lips before pulling away, teasing you the way you do him. "Okay then." He nods, slowly lifting himself from you.

You snake your arms around Matt's neck, pulling and guiding him back to you. "No— no, okay, okay, okay," you mutter, speaking rushed. "I lied… I lied," you whisper, speaking just as whiney and pathetically as earlier. You shimmy your hips, adjusting to wrap your legs around him, your knees hugging his hips. "I'm sorry— I'm sorry I lied."

He coos, a subtle proud smile slapped on his face. "I thought so," he lowers back to you and hesitantly brushes over your lips, making you wait for it.

Matt finally encaptures them, working over them with slight vigour. One hand settles on your waist, the other around your throat, guiding you and deepening the kiss.

He parts from your swollen lips, trailing a hurried line of brash kisses along your jaw and down the base of your throat, his hand pawing at your lounge shirt, eagerly trying to rid the fabric. He succeeds, hastily removing the garment over your head, his mouth immediately attaching to your bare chest, lazily licking over your stiffened nipples.

He slides down you, trailing sloppy kisses between the valley of your tits and down your stomach, halting when he reaches the waistband of your pyjama bottoms. He lingers soft, flutter-like kisses over your abdomen- ones that mimic the feeling in your lower belly. 

His focus lowers, as does his roughened palm- fingers grazing over your hips until they snake into the band of fabric, easing the loungewear down and over your thighs, all the way off your ankles. 

"Perfect," he mutters against your warm and exposed thigh, trailing a string of kisses up to the crease, pausing when he reaches the outline of your underwear. "I think we should stop here— call it a night." He teases, speaking softly against your covered pussy, almost whispering to it. 

"Matt," you warn, fingers digging into the swole of his shoulders. "Don't do that. It's not funny."

"It is," he chuckles into the pool of sweetness between your legs, the action making you twitch. "Needy little thing, hm?"

"Shut up," you reply breathlessly, winding your hips into his face, desperately trying to refocus him. "Please," you pant, playing with his hair, guiding him back to where you want him. "Come on."

Another amused chuckle slips past his lips before he finally slips down the wet piece of fabric that is your underwear. He adjusts his weight, stomach pressed flat against the sofa as he nestles his face between your legs, his arms hooking around your thighs.

He lightly exhales over your sensitive nub, breathing over it before eventually caving in, delicately kissing around the touch-starved mound. His movements are slow and confident as he trails over your folds, briefly sucking on them before continuing lower. He knew his way around a pussy, and wanted you to soak up every single tingle he was making you feel.

He lays his tongue flat against you, slowly licking up through your slit as if to savour your flavour on his tongue. "Taste so pretty, sweetheart," he hazily praises, his words loose and sluggish as he delves deeper into you, mumbling into your folds about how good you taste, already drunk off you.

Matt leisurely swipes over you, kissing and nibbling your cunt like he had all the time in the world- and maybe he did. Maybe he wanted to work you up and make you pay for all your teasing and petty games. And maybe, just maybe, this was his idea of spending the weekend together- Chinese food and cunnilingus on the couch. 

— — — — — — — — — — ☆ — — — — — — — — — —

this is so shit omg, I got bored reading and editing it🙃I don’t think I did your idea justice babe!?

matt taglist: @hailey-murdock @ashlynhasmanyhyperfixations @idontknowwhattohaveasmyuser @redecoratestan @kpopgirlbtssvt @scarletsloveletter @princess-pebbles-things @messymissy @schneeflocky @readerhead @thegreengoop @charmedkim @queerponcho @selfryed

[simonsrosebud]

ik I'm late to the party but omg.... abram boyd.... I'm sobbing that's so sweet 😭😭 pls tell me more about them

AHHH THANK YOU I LOVE HIM

Abram has certified protective big brother energy, but since he isn’t a big brother this goes to his girl friends at college instead. Palmetto is a safe campus, but he (and Elliot by association) still always end up getting their girl friends back to the dorms safely no matter what. I’m talking if two of their friends are fucked up before he even gets there he will leave the bar 10 minutes in just to get them home and then come BACK. (this is based on my sisters friend at lsu and it’s so wholesome)

Abram’s relationship with Neil is interesting bc he’s growing up as Neil is traveling in the pros in his late 20’s. However, Neil visits whenever it’s convenient and once he gets in the groove of this whole godfather thing he treats Abram like he’s his uncle bc he sees how Andrew is with Aaron’s girls. He keeps up with his schedule when he starts playing little leagues and makes Dan send pictures. She sends first day of school updates and a picture of a little Abram missing his two front teeth.

Abram gets a Josten Court jersey and wears it until it stinks. He gets new ones when he outgrows them. By his third one Matt gets him a huge one to grow into as a grown man. He does indeed grow into it.

Neil sends him post cards with a little letters written inside when he’s 4 and Abram loves it so much that Dan facetime’s Neil like 2 weeks after he got the first one but it’s just Abram’s face all up in the camera. “When will I get anover wetter, uncle Neil?” “Oh!” instant delight “It must still be in the mail, buddy, but just keep an eye on the mailbox, okay?” “Okay… do you wanna see your wetter?! I put it on my wall, uncle Neil!”

Neil is the first to start calling him B, firstly bc calling someone else Abram is something he has to get used to. Secondly because Abram acknowledges it as Neil’s nickname and stubbornly doesn’t let anyone else call him it.

Matt retires from exy at like 32 when Abram is 3. Matt’s exy team loyalties lie where his friends are at, so Matt, Jace, and Abram make it a thing to watch every game. Abram can’t keep track of Neil is and gets frustrated by it. Matt mentions it while laughing, two games later Neil has the butt of his stick wrapped in orange. After that Abram keeps saying, “Ope, there’s uncle Neil again …. There’s- I see orange, Daddy! …. There he goes again! …. Look! Uncle Neil!!”

Andrew may have been the one humanizing Neil, but Abram is the one who softens him.

Abram used to hold onto Addie or Annie’s hands and just follow them around at Fox reunions, which got more frequent throughout the years and is why/how the fox kids all got close.

Abram plays minecraft but just creative mode. He likes adventure or sports videogames while his brother likes Call of Duty and whatnot.

BIG lego kid until he’s like 14.

As a teenager, Abram and Neil text so much and talk on the phone a lot. About exy, about French help bc he’s learning it in school, about some fantasy show that Abram somehow got Neil into, about sports and college applications and when he can come visit again. And then about who these new kids in Neil’s house are and are they gonna stay a while? should we add them to the cousin gc? hey how’s elliot doing? and hey can you send me elliot’s number? and if i’m doing all this hard work to keep the strikers away the least our strikers could do is do something with the ball i keep getting to them, anyway, are you guys bringing blake and elliot to thanksgiving? i’m excited to meet them. and i know ur gonna be weird if i ask you about guys but im pretty sure i have a crush on one and im kinda freaking out and im scared to tell my parents and-

Matt is so loving when he comes out to him and Dan, hugging Abram really tight and just telling him he loves him and he’s so proud of him and Abram cries a little.

The first time he kisses a boy (bc crushes are only from afar) it’s freshman year of college and it’s because he starts looking at Elliot too often for too long and needs to get that shit out of his head bc that’s his best friend.

Abram has lunch with Dan like twice a month because she tries to stay out of his hair since she’s the exy coach at PSU.

When he and Elliot get together he finds he loves to wrap Elliot up in his clothes.

Elliot goes to all of his home games with their friends and cheers obnoxiously. Abram loves it. He also… fucks Elliot while he wears his soccer jersey.

He is definitely a gentle giant, but once he and Elliot get together he throws that boy AROUND in the bedroom.

there’s a lot more about him but i hope that’s good for tonight hehe

[moonlit-escape]

⋆⛧°. ⋆ Sasha Mystreet headcanons !!

i have a tummy ache rn from eating too much. anyway here's sasha i lobe her

half russian, half korean

demisexual (this is me projecting not just bc of her color palette i promise dont LOOK at me like that)

still pretty closed off, cold, and stoic. but, once in a blue moon, gene and zenix get her to genuinely laugh or mouth off and get angry and they absolutely relish in it

they're best friends :(

the only one of the three who can currently legally drive.

breakcore / hyperpop-punk Queen !! (crystal castles, quinn, swrslvt/cynthoni, laura les, snafu, charli xcx, xn88ax. yknow, shit i added to her playlist)

PIERCINGS!! honestly w all these headcanons, if they are/were a punk, they have piercings. she has double eyebrow piercings, a bellybutton piercing, and a tongue piercing

got deeper into and still practices witchcraft, just not potions or spells. she prefers her palm-reading, tarot, herbal mixtures and remedies, and crystal charges

im planning on making her patron saint someone from MCD that didn't get to mystreet, but first i have to actually Watch MCD.

loves scented candles and incense. she has pretty incense holders all around the house

favourite video game is luigi's mansion

always plays luigi during mario party and always loses. but it's fine bc she always wins mario kart (zenix is always princess peach and gene always plays one of the fuckin monster goons: dry bones, shy guy, goomba, one of the koopa kids)

had a crush on gene at one point, and they even tried out a relationship in uni, but then realized they were just doing the same exact things they did as friends and weren't really going anywhere, so they stayed besties

uses potion bottles as water bottles because they're just more practical

runs a vampire fanfic tumblr blog. she makes really fuckin good vampire au fanfics of really popular fandoms

has a butterfly knife and switchblade collection. they're all really pretty

zenix made her match phone charms with him, but he tells everyone she forced him (nobody believes him)

her and gene used to be skater buddies (zenix couldnt figure out how to skate for the life of him), but she's the only one who still skates around sometimes

i don't know how to explain this to anyone and it is honestly just my own delusion but oh my God did sasha have a mini crush on katelyn in high school

like it wasn't anything super. but she cannot lie to herself and say she didn't have fun during gym getting to see katelyn

typical "goth gf" reads classic literature and edgar allen poe poems and short stories. but also she has to work, so she listens to audiobooks

it's not that she doesn't feel her emotions or anything, but more-so she's just not used to expressing them, and doesn't know how to properly. and now, she feels like it's too late and would be too awkward to learn how

so, she expresses herself in other ways. like through her loud music, or her witchcraft, or through pen sketches and painting

she likes to go on walks every once in a while in completely random or strange places. yknow, ones where it feels like you shouldn't really be going. and sometimes she sketches whatever she finds there and thinks about

whenever she has a particularly.. excruciatingly stressful day, she likes to lay on the floor with her astral projector light, listen to music, and take an edible. it helps her calm down, and feel like she's in a different world for a while

it has backfired before though, because her mind went to the wrong place, and she ended up having a panic attack. so, she makes sure she only does it when both of the guys are home to check on her and ground her if she does start spiraling

Don't do drugs, kids. And if you REALLY have to try it because you're stupid, don't do it Stupidly. have a babysitter. a Trusted babysitter. and don't start with edibles. Be safe, or fuck up and die

[wintersoldeer]

ok i wasn't going to make a post but i do have feelings about until dawn remake that didn't fit under the tags of one reblog

im 15 mins in someone's playtrough of the remake and im still not too impressed BUT ohh my god they changed my least favourite line ("wHeRe's mY SiSTer GoInG?") and i might just have to forgive them everything for that

other than that so far: the people look terrible (like the graphics look nice, but as people...... they don't look like themselves to me.... also. very dark – i cant see anything but that might just be the streamer's settings idk) the longer intro is sooo awkward without any new dialogue. might be the streamer mode with no music tho idk. but goddamn i don't agree with sam's new role in the prank or see why they changed note (i've always thought it was wild that hannah would just start by taking her shirt of, but now it's just.... why exactly does she??) and i miss the fixed camera but that might be just because im not playing im just watching sucks to be chris in the morning with all that on his face...... not the situation where you want to look like that

ok i'll keep watching and liveblog

it is so dark that if i hadn't seen this game being played about 39204932 times before, i wouldn't have any idea what's going on::'D i love the snow falling from the frees tho no subtlety with the fire here i see ::'D

they made the creepy scarecrow postcard look downright pleasant?? it's so darrrrk/there's so much contrast you can't even tell if dr hill's office has cool things on the background

ok i am very into the new intro

sam on the bus looks so good.... but something is off with josh's video?? the movement?? the face?? something???

still no clarification on whether josh wants to party like they are fucking porn stars or party like they're fucking porn stars

did they move this game from february to like april since the sun is still out in the beginning?? they also made the time earlier but im pretty sure that's still a couple of hours too late..... and i take my winter darkness very seriously (but like. the nice atmospheric dark of the original) it's very pretty tho

it feels very.... video game-y now. with the new graphics and especially with the moving camere.

interesting that jess is now mike's girlfriend instead of mike's new girlfriend, an em is now matt's girlfriend instead of mike's ex and same with mike and matt

oh noo the snow ball fight without music is horrible:::'D

oh nooo the sun is finally and very quickly setting i can't seeee anything

doctor hill has a swedish flag on his desk 😂😂

i am not a gamer. but. is the hunting around for a premonition on a totem.... fun? seems like a frustrating waste of time

ok i am an hour and twenty minutes in (chris wandering around the lodge) and i'm seriously considering on just giving up and watching another (third.. this week..) original game let's play instead. mainly because it's so damn dark that it's not pleasant to look at. the flashlight (or lighter or torch or whatever) is for pointing out glinting things, it's not supposed to be the only light source! one of the things that keeps drawing me back to this game year after year is how pretty and atmospheric it is, and the remake... is not delivering.

but at least they don't leave the window upstairs open anymore! that has been bothering me for years

ok i cant do this i give up!! i'd like to continue bc the streamer seems cool, but iii cannot see anything. i'll skip through some random scenes and mourn what could've been and maybe watch another let's play of the original... there might be one or two on the internet that i haven't yet seen

like look at this!! who is that?? where is he??? i wouldn't know

[webslingingslasher]

OKAY SO HES STILL NOT PETER FROM THE BIBLE BUTTTT XJDJD

last time i updated you was at the party, I think. HE INVITED ME TO A PARTY after walking me home (a longer route) AND THE BOTTLE AND STUFF BHT DIDNT SAY A WORD TO ME. He didn’t flirt at ALL, barely even spoke to me. he said hi and that was it. literally. i was SO UPSET

but turns out i have mutual friends with two of his housemates and i was PISSED so i spent all my time talking to them and didn’t let myself be alone for even a second (bc i didn’t wanna seem boring idk i was doing the most in my tipsy petty moment) and we actually bonded over a lot. ANYWAYS.

SO you know how me and hat hoodie met bc we would study for our summer exams from opening till closing? WE FINALLY FINISHED OUR EXAMS and campus was SO FUN. literally everyone was at patties etc and guess what. still. NO FLIRTING. i was sad but accepted it bc he’s very hot and things don’t usually go my way 😭

anyways so fast forward like another week and we’re at this field on campus. im gonna send you a pic privately but it’s this HUGE field. i just googled a lacrosse field and it looks similar? like it’s HUGE. a HUGEEE piece of land that looks onto our campus (it’s so pretty) and it opens up during summer and people basically camp out 24/7 once classes end. it’s rhe BESTTT vibe durint the summer like there are 837383 speakers and there’s a diff game going on in every corner of the field. and different music from each speaker but it’s somehow never overwhelming. like one corner will be playing football and the next will be playing netball and everyone always brings ice cream and stuff and you just move around to different spots all day. there’s no “friendship” groups, like everyone just mixes. it’s so fun.

anyways i went to the rap corner bc i wanted their ice lollies (my friend said they had the strawberry ones) and I didn’t see HE WAS THERE but he was and he handed me the ice lolly and our hands touched and girlll there was a SIZZLE. but I was still mad so I acted nonchalant but he started talking and i was fed up like I don’t wanna go in circles of him flirting with me then giving me absolutely nothing for a week, and then talking to me again? but I was tipsy and the ice lolly (i just realised u guys say popsicle) (omg my adhd is really showing in this ask sorry im usually more contained) anyways the ice lolly was nice and I was buzzed so my anger fizzled and we started talking. he never gave me an excuse or a reason but I was drunk so I didn’t really care. but we like cleared the air kinda

all of my friends went home a few days later but I wanted to stay until our lease ended bc i don’t like going home and if im paying rent for the whole year (until mid august) i wanna use it yk? but all of my friends are gone and campus is kinda lonely (apart from the field) without them so his friend group/housemates kinda adopted me and I hung out with them EVERY DAY. their fifth housemate went home for the summer and I stayed in his room one night (clean sheets and his room has a lock so I felt chill) (off campus houses in the uk usually don’t have locks unless u add them in) omg j i almost died knowing he was next door.

i got up to pee at 2am & at the same time he got up to get water and I swear TIL THE DAY I DIE ill believe he just heard me get up and made up an excuse but anyway. we were talking and it was so LATE AND HE LIDNDJSKSKKSSKS I WENT TO THE KITCHEN TO SEE HIM after I peed bc he looked good (shirtless and boxers) AHDBDSNS AND WE WERE TAKKINF DOR A LITTLE BIT AND ONE THING LED TO ANOTHER AND HE KISSED ME

and this was only my 3rd kiss so I was kinda shy BUT AHDHDHDSBSJS I WAS DYINGGGGG but it started getting deeper and i thought he wanted it to lead to sex and I didn’t so i pulled away and he didn’t complain or really say anything ab it and apparently it took me too long to open my eyes after so he’s been making fun of me since then bc apparently I was dazed DNDNS ANYWAYS

HE WAS SMILING SO MUCH. he ended up going home to see his sister before she goes on some camp thing so there was a break and we didn’t talk during it (kinda weird I was overthinking it sm) but he came back and we’ve been kissing & I’m still hanging out with the house (who are like my main friend group at this point) and it hasn’t led to anywhere else (we haven’t had sex) (we won’t be having sex) and IDK what he wants, if it’s just a summer thing or not. i don’t think he has feelings for me and I don’t think he’s catching them but I do think he likes me as a friend bc he rlly likes my company and is always laughing but I think he mainly just likes making out with me which im not complaining but yeah. maybe it’s just fwb for him but I am CRUSHINGGGGGG hard hard

THIS WAS SO LONG IM SORRY I NEED TO TELL U THE CHERRY MOMENT NEXT

-🤍

the way i am gasped, gagged and gaping at this.

the kisses.... the SNEAKING OUT to kiss you... why is this giving secret lover..... i'm so seated.

i cannot wait for this to unfold more. AS FOR WHAT HE WANTS- idk but i'd keep feeling it out for more kissies 😚

[arrow-alrakis]

Tag game! rules: go on Pinterest and share the first celeb, outfit, quotes, and aesthetic that appears on your dash

Tagged by @three-of-crows @dujour13 Thank you for thinking of me!! ^^ The result turned out very good and related to my OC's lore, so I want to post this on my main :D

Gage Burek, I don't know him other than some of his photos on pin, but if only for images, this is the irl reference of Lark :3

Some armor bc im drawing these! Ri's armor coming soon!

I have zero quotes sorry! plz have 2 aesthetics instead ^^ Lark's house and bedroom vibe! I was looking for ref to commission Caleb, these two are good and they pop up side by side. Ri never had a house so he just moved in, his dragon cave is cold with no furniture. Lark as an undead can not sleep, so the temporary bed is for their dragon visitor. They changed it to a bigger one after they started dating. :3

I won't tag any others bc I'm late to the party, consider you tagged if you want to join!

[cerealmonster15]

I’m acting on a whim and posting some unfinished(?) fanfic stuff I wrote like a year ago. Part of my many branches of caterella aus that has vague reference to one of my rsa ocs (dañarte)… but with a cater/idia main plot with jamil/azul happening in he background. My blurbs ended in a bit of a sad spot BUT it was always the intention in my mind that there would be happy resolutions 🙏 these were just little things I wrote for my friend and me bc it was an au we talked about…

Context: idia and cater are bonding, but only online over magicam, and idia is kinda catfishing cater (though not maliciously). when i was trying to name my original rsa oc (char) and looking at names, eppa was one of my initial possible choices. It was maybe my friend who had the idea initially of idia having a fake, RSA princely identity that cater gets to know over magicam?

Eventually I picked char for my actual guy, and dañarte became his cousin via me making typos and more discord sillies lol, but prince eppa became a pseudonym for idia and created another branch for the story. I’ve talked a bit about the dañarte lore and some of that comes into play here. Char I guess would too but I don’t think he got mentioned anywhere lol sorry buddy. But ya idia is pretending to be a prince at rsa named eppa who “secretly likes video games” or whatever I think lol. Idia likes his bond with cater but can’t even begin to think of how cater would react if he found out idia was lying to him.

Anyway. This is more cater/idia (and board game boys friendship) focused than anything (lots of idia pov pining lol) and idk if anyone would wanna read it but I’m putting it here to record keep anyway. No ao3 Bc It’s very unedited and unfinished and just kinda blurb writing lol

But it’s the only time if technically written for caydia. And I do like it. It’s just embarrassing bc I get embarrassed with my oc things and my love for romance drama but i guess I’ve been exposing more of it lately lol… shout out to anyone who recognizes the fic I’m referencing that I DID post lol.

Anyway. Copy pasted from my Google docs:

Idia’s computer pinged as a message appeared on screen.

C.Dia - eppa, are u awake?

Idia looked at the clock, startled. It was 3AM… Idia was still up because he was grinding a new event in one of his many, many, many games, but what the heck was Cater Diamond doing up at this hour? Had he just gotten back from a party?

PrinceEppa: ya, why r u tho? It’s crazy late lol

C.Dia: lol ikr

C.Dia: i just cant sleep rn >.<

PrinceEppa: how come?

C.Dia: i got into a fight w/my bf again…

Idia sighed at his computer. Right… Cater’d started dating that prettyboy from RSA.

PrinceEppa: 0~0 thats like the third time this month…

C.Dia: ya ik ;-;

Idia fiddled with the strings on his hoodie. He didn’t really know if his heart could take hearing Cater talk about another guy, but the thought of Cater laying around sad and alone made him ache just as bad… But what was he supposed to say in times like these? Idia didn’t know anything about comforting someone about relationships! He barely talked to people in general!

Thankfully, Cater kept going and spared Idia the anguish of trying to figure out what to do next.

C.Dia: are u going to bed rn?

PrinceEppa: no lol ill be up for a while longer.

C.Dia: royalty keeps busy at all hours huh?

Idia tensed at the mention of his lies.

PrinceEppa: something like that. Balancing the princely duties and the princely gamer sessions is tough work 😌

C.Dia: LOL. never change eppa <3

His face grew warm, a bittersweet swelling filling his chest.

C.Dia: can u chat with me a lil longer then?

C.Dia: tell me about ur day or ur games or w/e? I kinda just want a distraction, i dont really wanna be alone rn

C.Dia: if ur not busy anyway >.< it’s oki if you wanna focus on ur gamer mode lololol

Idia paused for a moment, before moving his mouse and closing out of his game. The rest of the event grind could wait.

PrinceEppa: im never too busy for you, cay.

C.Dia: thx <3

Sometimes, even for the prince of otakus, there were more important things than gaming…

But only when those things were really, really, really special.

*

“I heard Cater and that RSA boyfriend of his broke up.” Azul spoke after several minutes of silently moving chess pieces around the board.

Idia frowned. “Don’t try and use that as a distraction from the game just because I’m winning.”

Azul kept his face neutral so as not to betray any bluff he might have. “Perish the thought. I just thought his sweet prince eppa would be interested in such information.”

“SHH!” Idia hissed. “Not so loud! Besides, I-I already know. He told me…”

Azul raised an eyebrow. “He told you, or he told Eppa?”

Idia focused on the chess piece he moved. “Same thing.”

Azul sighed as he took his own piece and contemplated his next move. “Hardly. Honestly, how can you ever expect to move your relationship forward if you don’t unmask yourself? All this bonding will be for nothing if you don’t use it to the full extent!”

Idia rolled his eyes. “I don’t wanna hear it from you of all people. How long have you been saying you’re gonna ask Jamil out?”

It was Azul’s turn to shush Idia, face reddening. “How is that even relevant?!”

Idia grinned. “Cuz you keep going on and on to me about how I should be more confident with Cater, but you won’t even take the plunge with Jamil! Hypocrisy much?”

“I’m simply waiting for the right time. I would be a fool if I didn’t stick with my patient strategy of getting him to warm up to me before striking! Move too early, and I’ll undo all my progress…”

Idia sighed, thinking back to all the hours he’d spent DMing Cater under a fake name. They’d gotten quite close, but as far as Cater knew, Idia was still that vague acquaintance in the back of his classes.

If he messed up by telling him his identity at the wrong moment, or didn’t phrase it right…

“Lost progress… that’s exactly what I’m afraid of…”

*

“Idia!” Cater’s cheerful voice called out as he approached the lecture hall desks. “You’re in person again today; that’s three for three this week!” He spoke with a smile as he slid into the seat next to Idia.

Idia jumped at the sudden appearance of his classmate. “O-oh, uh, yeah…”

“Oh, B-T-W, did you hear that Azul and Jamil were on a date Friday night?” Cater said in a half-whisper, leaning close to Idia’s ear.

“Uhh…” Idia didn’t really know how to answer that. Sure, he knew Azul had some overly complicated date-but-not-a-date plan to get Jamil to hang out with him, and then ask him out for real, but how did Cater hear about…?

“I was hangin’ out with the pop music club on Friday when Ruggie texted Kalim that he was serving their table! Isn’t that just crazy?”

Ah. Kalim and Ruggie. That explained it all.

“I mean, I always wondered if those two had something goin’ on, y’know? Like, they had that ‘will they, wont they, playing hard to get’ kind of vibe. Super cute, if you ask me.”

Idia wasn’t really sure that ‘cute’ was a good way to describe anything those two were involved in, but he simply nodded his head along to Cater’s blathering, as he discreetly pulled his phone out of his pocket and switched to his Prince Eppa magicam account, reading the messages from that morning.

PrinceEppa: howre u feeling?

C.Dia: like total trash lol…..

C.Dia: ik he was a jerk but like i miss him, yknow??

C.Dia: or maybe i just miss having someone there. And its almost valentines day lol. Shit timing amirite?

PrinceEppa: that really does suck… im sorry, cater.

C.Dia: thanks, it’s oki tho. Better to get it overwith lol

C.Dia: i really dont wanna get out of bed or go to class…

PrinceEppa: mood

PrinceEppa: u really should tho. Ik it’s hard but itll feel worse if u stay there all alone

C.Dia: urk. Idk if i have the energy to be around people today

PrinceEppa: tbh i get that… i dont rlly wanna go face people either today…

PrinceEppa: how about we try it together?

C.Dia: i wish u went to my school so we really could go to class together <3

C.Dia: but oki. I'll try, for you :)

PrinceEppa: :)

If Cater really was feeling as bad as he felt, he was pretty good at hiding it with that blinding smile and bubbly laughter.

Sure, Idia’s first instinct would be to immediately enable anyone that wanted to spend the day hiding in bed, but… The thought of Cater lying alone in the dark with his thoughts just made Idia sad.

And, if he did that, Idia wouldn’t get to see him in class today…

“Oooh, do you think Azul and Jamil are gonna go out again on Valentine’s day?”

That depends on what Jamil answered on Azul’s questionnaire, Idia thought to himself. He was sure he’d get a full report from Azul later that day at their next club meeting.

Cater sighed. “Another Valentine’s day, and Cay-Cay’s single yet again!” He smiled, but Idia felt that his eyes weren’t lit as bright as they normally were as he spoke. “But, I’m sure some of the boys at Heartslabyul will be hangin’ around like always. It’s never lonely when you live with friends!” He turned to face Idia again. “What about you, Idia? Any steamy plans for Valentine’s day?”

“U-uh…” Idia started fiddling with his hair. It was now or never. ‘A-Actually, Cater… M-my dorm, Ignihyde, we’re h-hosting a movie night that night… Y’know, ‘cause a lot of us don’t really have plans for Valentine’s day and don’t wanna be sulking alone…” He swallowed a lump in his throat and took a deep breath. “...Y-you can come join, i-if you want…?”

Cater blinked a few times, a look of surprise on his face, before breaking into a smile and giving Idia’s arm a small squeeze of a hug. “OMG, movie night at Ignihyde?! I hear you guys have like, the sickest setup! That sounds great; count me in!”

Idia breathed a sigh of relief as the professor began class.

A few seconds in, his phone quietly vibrated as a single message came through. Idia glanced at it from down in his jacket pocket.

C.Dia: a rlly sweet guy in my class just invited me to hang out w/him and his dormmates on valentines day

C.Dia: u were right about getting out of bed. i think ill be okay today ^.^

***

“Hey, Idia…” Cater put his phone down, magicam abandoned where he’d paused on a video of a turtle swimming around an aquarium. “We’ve gotten a bit closer lately, huh?”

Idia paused the game he had up on his tablet. “H-huh? Oh, uh, y-yeah…”

“So, uh,” Cater played with a strand of his hair. “Do you mind if I talk to you about something a little… personal?”

Idia froze. Abort mission, find an escape route, he was not a high enough level for this kind of topic yet! Maybe Eppa was, but Idia!?

And yet, he couldn’t bring himself to just say no when Cater was looking at him with those soft green eyes.

“S-sure…”

“Thanks! Y’know, you’re really sweet, and like, such a good listener…”

Idia hoped the redness of his face was hidden behind the flames of his hair that flickered in every direction.

“And I’ve just been feeling so… confused lately, about where my heart’s at. My feelings feel like they’re being pulled in so many different directions!”

Idia could feel his heart hammering in his chest.

Cater sighed, laying his head down on the table. “My ex asked me on a date today. He wants me to give him another chance.”

The burning sensation from Idia’s insides made a 180 as he felt his blood go cold. This was the last thing he wanted to hear his normie crush come and tell him without warning…

“And the craziest part? I said I’d think about it.”

Oh god.

“I know that’s like, totally insane after everything that happened, but… I dunno, seeing him around now that he goes to school here just has my head all scrambled!” He picked his head up from the table, opened his phone again, and gave the turtle video a like before standing back up suddenly. “Gosh, sorry, I don’t know why I just came over here and dumped that on you, Idia. I guess I just find you so easy to talk to, I get a little carried away!” He said with a nervous laugh.

Lucky Idia.

“But, don’t worry about it. I’ll figure things out for myself. It’ll be A-okay!” Cater gave an unconvincing thumbs up before turning to leave.

Super lucky.

*

“Azul, today might actually be the worst day of my life.” Idia said as he dragged himself into the clubroom and plopped down in the seat across from Azul in their usual spot.

“...Hm? Oh, hello, Idia.” Azul looked up from his phone. “I believe you said the same thing when you came in here to lament about Cater getting together with his… boyfriend, a while back.” Azul seemed tense at the very concept of Danarte. He hadn’t exactly been a fan of the guy since he transferred to not just NRC, but into Scarabia specifically, where he’d made a point to hover around Kalim and Jamil as much as possible.

“I mean, it’s basically the same level of despair. Cater just told me Danarte not only asked him out, but that he’s considering it!” Idia dropped his head facedown onto the table in sorrow. “Like, how could I lose to the same guy twice!? Ugh, honestly, there’s no one as pathetic as me. I am having the WORST time, and NO ONE could possibly understand the agony I’m in right now!”

Azul chuckled, his tone solemn and hollow. “I’ll do you one better. Jamil broke up with me today.”

Wait, what?

Idia’s head shot up as he squinted at Azul, who was gazing sadly at his phone again. “Huh!? Wh- Huh!? What happened?”

Azul sighed. “We had another fight- and I mean, you know how we are. We have our differences, our disagreements, and the two of us can be a bit… stubborn at times. But we always figure it out! We were doing so well… At least, I thought we were.” Azul rested his chin in his hands. “But I suppose Jamil didn’t feel that way. He said he’d had enough of the relationship. Enough of me.”

Azul bowed his head to stare down at the table.

Idia wondered if he was trying not to cry. He looked out the window, both out of respect, and also because it felt kind of awkward to stare at his friend who was clearly just barely holding it together after getting dumped.

After a few seconds of awkward silence, when it was clear neither of them wanted to discuss their woes anymore, Idia spoke. “Uh, wanna play the VR headset boardgames today? Now’s kinda the perfect time to… Escape reality, right?”

Azul lifted his gaze to Idia. “...You just want to make me use the virtual dice again because you know I can’t use my perfected dice strategy on them, don’t you?” He straightened his posture, standing up to get the headsets. “I’ll have you know I won’t let your silly game of virtual chance best me today!”

Oh thank god that worked. Idia didn’t think either of them could handle any more emotions for the day, so he stood up and followed Azul with a grin. “Hehe, we’ll see about that, Azul.”

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

Im verrrry late to the characters ask party, but 1 for emmet & meli?

oooh ok!! (character dynamic ask game)

1. what were A’s first impressions of B? were they mostly correct or have they changed?

this is a fun question bc these two have not really gotten a chance to move Past their first impressions so part of this question might be kind of hypothetical. ok.

in oop, emmet's VERY first impressions of melli were him casually insulting ingo which was not a good start. actually his immediate first-look impression was "that guy's hair looks like it takes a lot of practice to get exactly right. respect." THEN he called ingo a layabout and emmet docked his points pretty significantly. then it was later at the ten wardens meeting that melli was also the only person who wanted to Physically Fight irida immediately upon hearing the news, which emmet respected a lot. at least someone's having the right reaction wrt that bc he sure doesn't have the time for it himself.

overall i feel like that's probably where his opinion of melli would settle over time. like, he'd probably also eventually grok that melli's insulting ingo is not like, specific beef that they have, melli just hates everyone. melli doesn't necessarily think ingo's worse than anyone else overall. actually he evidently thinks he's reasonably worth defending given his response to irida. so him calling ingo lazy is not as big of a thing as originally perceived. like, i still think they probably don't get along, necessarily, but emmet respects him. he's got principles and he sticks to them!

on the other side. oh this is fun bc this is a moment that sort of got bounced over in the fic, bc it wasn't really the focal point & it also wasn't melli's turn on the pov at the time, BUT. melli immediately knew emmet wasn't an illusion, bc eletrode and sneasler would both have blasted him off the face of the earth if he was lol, but he didn't really know or care what his deal was. so he was fully ready to just ignore him, as much as he could get away with while sneasler was apparently working with him—

—until emmet demonstrated legitimate protectiveness over ingo's hat. ive said before about how there are a bunch of little Important Objects moments in the fic and this is one of the first. like, as he brings up at the diamond clan meeting, melli knows how important that thing is to ingo. and also that it's sort of a. hm. weird character trait? like, most people don't know or don't appreciate that this is one of the very very few things ingo has from his past, and so he kind of desperately clings to it. melli himself probably wouldn't know were it not for the fact that they work together so often. and then emmet (total stranger?) shows up carrying it, which is kind of a red flag. like, other people shouldn't just be carrying that around, if it's not with ingo it should be in lady sneasler's protection.

but then emmet immediately demonstrates that he also knows this, to some degree, and also will not let random people just grab it. like, for emmet it's not necessarily him knowing how important it is to ingo specifically for all of the complicated reasons that it is, bc he doesn't know any of those reasons, but from melli's pov that's kind of irrelevant. to him it just shows that emmet isn't fucking around here, he is legitimately concerned about—and familiar with—the other highlands warden. and that's the point where he starts giving him the time of day.

...that was a really long ramble about a like, five second interaction. OH WELL. ANYWAY.

[leeyanyanyaaan]

dating door game skz fic

11/03/2023

based on this yt video:

concept:

reunion after graduating uni

reader notes that they went to hs w them too

driving car w hyunsung twins in back

jisung grabs readers phone and puts their playlist on bluetooth

hyunjin talking abt his holiday w his older sib, jisung getting jelly bc he had to intern elsewhere. got skzoo for reader tho

picking up jeongin from train station bc he came back from busan. hugs and happy reunion. jeongin is like their lil bro

everyone excited to see each other bc they haven't been together in ages. hyunreader going to nz, jisung intern in usa, chanlix in aus, jeongin busan, minho back to gimpo

reader gets soft at thought of minho, excited to see him most, their bf

they arrive at kbbq place they planned to eat at. chanlix is alrdy there. reader asks wheres minho. say he's still on his way. reader texts and updates minho. the group enters

they start cooking the meat. then they start teasing abt readers relationship w minho. reader groans and asks to change subject, but they take advantage of minho not being there.

comments how they were head over heels for each other and a wild couple, mentioning their embarrassing and sappy stories.

just when reader gets too embarrassed minho finally arrives. sits by reader and gets affectionate.

group starts chatting and reminiscing high school days.

when they finish, they all leave, but minho holds reader back, asking them to come with him somewhere. reader looks to jeongin and the twins, and they give her a thumbs up, alrdy knowing what was up

minho takes reader to a beautifully decorated place. reader is in awe. when reader turns around minho proposes. they happily accept.

end.

my results:

childhood friend - jisung best friend - jeongin/hyunjin brother - jisung/hyunjin live in - seoul classmates - chan/felix/jeongin drunk kiss - minho vacation - hyunjin shared music taste - jisung buys skzoo - jisung confession date - minho affectionate while sleepy - minho stares and gets shy when caught - minho late night vc - hyunjin comfort hugs - jeongin/hyunjin/jisung late night visit - jeongin/minho first time - minho proposed - minho study partners - felix/hyunjin/jisung neighbours - chan/felix squad - minsung concert of - ATEEZ date - minho surprise party planner - minho marrying - minho

lmao this has been sitting in my drafts for a while and i only remembered bc im here on tumblr at 1am 💀 deciding to post it anyways just to put something on my blog lol

[thekuraning]

don't know about any specific charcter playlists but why don't i ask you about the most recent blorbo playlist?(you don't have to answer this, have a nice day!)

Dear anon, I spent an hour putting together a whole playlist here to rant for you bc I don't use spotify lmfaoo

Unfotunately in my hubris, I accidentally cmd+z'd and deleted the entire bullet list. Q~Q As it seems the gods would prefer brevity on this day, I regret to inform you that I have had to narrow down my list. unu I shall explain more under the cut.

IM SO MAD TOO i had it all laid out in order and everything, but hhhhhh SURPRISE it's (part of) my Augustine Sycamore playlist :') i have contracted the sycamore brain rot, and it has yet to leave me be. A lot of the music I collect for him has to do with plot points for the lil fic series I've got for him and Guzma, and a lot has to do with what I imagine his life was like before we meet him in XY. Some of it has to do with old RPs i used to play him in back when his games came out

He just seems like a dude who's been through the ringer, you know? He's seen some shit and lived through some shit. Even his theme music is a little wistful and sad, and that's a lot of the vibes I get when I look at him. But I also get a lot of vibes that he's in love with life. He's chaos and duality and the sleepiest party boy you'll meet in your life. He'll climb Prism Tower just to get a good view of the sunset and then laugh when he gets into trouble. He loves people so much but has trouble letting anyone in. He stays up too late, he drinks too much, and he jumps at the chance for a new adventure or a new experience. He chases his passions relentlessly and dreams of the day he attains those things he knows he'll never have, and he does it with a smile.

It's a very pretentious way of saying I love blorbo very much, and here are a few of the songs from his playlist that I think encapsulate these traits I see when I look at him. :')

Peace of Mind (Aviici) this one in particular i put on and he just starts pirouetting in my head

Tell Me I'm Alive (All time Low)

Danny Don't You Know (NSP)

Trouble (Aviici)

White Rabbit (Collide vers.)

Self Control (Scissor Sisters)

...And a special bonus!! ;) While in my fics his favorite band is called Yesterday's Jam, this is a Very Fake Band, his favorite Band That Actually Exists is Genitorturers. Bc the last vibe I get from looking at Sycamore is the boy's a bit of a metalhead?? Also very "sex, drugs, rock n roll."

Lecher Bitch (Genitorturers)

I'll cap it there in case the gods bring the hammer down on me again ;v; but hes a good boy he just wants to live life to its fullest man he just wants to sing classic rock to the starter pokemon and dance in the rain and be a little shit to his friends and do science

[hopelessromanticstrawberry]

unboxing sexual trauma part 2–

So I haven’t spoken abt the indirect sexual abuse like, having old men leer at me, being cat called every time I walked to school when I was 8 years old. it was constant, I started to wear boys clothes and didn’t want to be a girl anymore even though I loved pink and cute things and I loved being girly.

The actual direct abuse, alright.

So I had that first bad relationship that ended my freshman year, dated an 18 year old next when I was 15. He was some nerdy music theater guy, stubborn, and prone to insulting — think stereotypical Boston family, like he moved to my city later on in life. We’d play videogames together, but honestly without choir and theater we had virtually nothing in common. But I liked feeling like someone loved me, and he was mean to everyone but me which made me feel special. He also was short, unintimidating, and funny. He wasn’t attractive to me, but I figured I wanted a nice guy who cares about looks didn’t Marge Simpson love Homer? yeah. The damage psychologically was already done. Things ended bc we had no chemistry and I still held out for 3 months of dating, he also saw my severe self harm scars and cried. We broke up shortly after I told him I had some trauma around sex and wanted to take things slow. He told me his last girlfriend cheated on him too. We probably were better off friends anyways, when we kissed it felt like I was kissing a family member on the cheek. Like zero sparks.

I don’t know why I included that ^^^ but im sharing a lifetime of my bullshit right now so bear with me

The next guy I dated was pretty quickly, he’d been an outlier on my big friend group since middle school. I was such a sucker for shojo like anime tropes. He had pined after me for years, given me gifts and always praised me. I thought he looked like a troll. He ended up working out and clearing his acne a little, he grew a little taller (still only like 5’6 but im 5’1) he started dressing a little nicer and being less whiny. He liked anime, I liked anime, he said he liked gaming (but usually I was the one hijacking his Skyrim account and gaming all night bc he didn’t actually game), we both did choir and he conveniently was always around to help. Finally my junior year I was 16, this was the age id always told myself I wanted to lose my v card. I didn’t want to wait too long bc then it would be an even bigger deal, my friends were losing theirs, I didn’t want to be like the weird one. I also started smoking weed and drinking a little bit, starting to go to parties and join social circles more legitimately. I also was more attractive, most everyone forgot the “shitty lay” and “she’s pregnant” rumors from freshman year. People weren’t so mean to me and the popular boys were starting to ask me out, I genuinely thought they were joking I was so defensive and id be a mean bitch. It felt good to be cruel to the people who were cruel to me. Lowkey it’s embarrassing but I gave tsundere vibes and I was proud of it, I felt cool for being one of the only kids smoking weed and id come to school late and stoned every day. One of the people who smoked me up for the first time was abusive ex 2, id originally planned to do all this stuff with a hotter friend but he went to a different school and we couldn’t coordinate. Ugly abusive ex 2 was my chemistry tutor so i had a handful of late FaceTimes and study halls with him. Then abusive ex 2 started to take me on dates, smoke me out, he spent like $50-100 every week taking me out and doing things with me, it was textbook lovebombing but to me I just thought he was trying to impress me after wanting me for so long.

Smugly, I brought up that id wanted to try sex with a friend just to get it out of the way. He was a virgin, I liked that, and he had an objectively bigger dick than I would’ve expected. Still never got much experience to know where it fell on a scale but yeah. I wanted no strings attached. I was the first to give a blowjob, it was kinda weird but not terrible. He came in like 30 seconds. But when it was his turn to go down on me bc he obviously wanted more, he made a stank face when he saw my pussy (an outie) and commented that I didn’t shave (just trimmed) before I could react he jams a finger in roughly, and tries to finger blast me like they do in porn while grossly licking everywhere but the clit. He didn’t like to eat pussy and told me every time after if I asked… I bled and it lasted maybe 3 or 5 minutes before he asked if I came. I said “I don’t know” and shakily got dressed. He reassured me we would learn to have better sex, I felt gross and regretted my choice. But then he doubled down on the gifts, on letting me crash at his house (my home life was chaotic to say the least), always getting me takeout or Starbucks or whatever I asked for every day, he gave me a big chunk of weed in a heart shaped jar and never told me no. My friends started to comment and how romantic it was and how I should give him a chance, he’s a nice guy. We had mid tier oral sex and smoked weed every day after school, I told him I didn’t want to have penetrative sex for a while and he was actually ok with it. When I was drunk on prom night we ended up having penetrative sex, it hurt and sucked and lasted about 1 minute. I felt dirty and weird after. I drunkenly took my makeup off and wondered if everyone enjoyed sex bc I didn’t think I did. I can’t tell you when it turned volatile exactly but he was porn brained, once we started having sex sex he told me about his kinks and we would try them, unsafely with no safe word, no foreplay, no after cuddles. I felt like a sex toy, and by this point id moved in full time because my parents didn’t want me at home. I don’t think I had a real orgasm the entire time, maybe a few times when I didn’t look at his face and fantasized about other men/women. Then he started to like slap me without warning in sex, or choke me incorrectly while my face turned purple. It was like violent things were the only things he could get off too. I felt like I was complacent but curious, I’d explore being “kinky”, is this what that was? We had such frequent aggressive sex, i had such low esteem just to feel desired made me tolerate a lot more than I should’ve. He started calling me a bitch and then the disrespect trickled into our real life as soon as I moved in. He knew I was more or less powerless and I didn’t have the esteem to leave. He would nit pick everything about me, and on top of that he was gross! I would tell him to stop being such a pig and a slob but he just told everyone I was a nag. Him and his alcoholic mom would gang up on me when he and I argued. I remember wanting to leave and every time I did the love bombing would continue, I wanted to be loved so badly… he would have sex with me when I was too fucked up to say yes, he would get off to me crying or gagging or choking, he liked to hit me. He liked anal sex. He liked calling me a bitch and being extremely rough. This was like… my only sex experiences so far. Then the rumors are that im kinky, im daddy issues, im slutty … it didn’t feel good and i felt trapped. I thought i had no other place to turn.

While a lot of those things could be considered sexual coercion rape (like anytime he was horny he expected sex and would threaten to kick me out if I didn’t) the times he actually raped me were terrible.

One time when we had argued at his house and i broke up with him he overpowered me in a physical fight ripped my clothes off and started fucking me, I went numb. Dissociated so hard I stayed the night just staring at the wall. He locked me in his room and wouldn’t let me leave many times, he told everyone I was crazy and left me with very few friends

He asked for anal and I said ok let’s try, he wasn’t gentle and he didn’t stop when I said no or slow down. He just kept fucking me roughly, it was like he got off to me hurting, similarly the first time we did anal the same thing happened except he used tingling lube that made it burn all the worse. My asshole tore and bled every time.

Made me blow him for 40+ minutes until my knees bled from the rough floor

He was having sex with me and I wanted to stop, he choked me until I was losing consciousness and slapped me until my ears were ringing not even hitting my face but the side of my ear. He said it was hot when I cried.

I had taken xanax and fallen asleep in bed, I had taken very strong triple pressed Xanax and it might have been the first time I did it. Although I’ve done xans since and even after a year long break wasn’t this fucked up. Idk if it was laced but anyways. I was out and couldn’t wake up. He started fucking me while I was drugged, I said no no no and tried to push him weakly. It felt like knives in my vagina, I was wet with blood bc I was dry when he started jamming it in. I kept blacking in and out I said no stop no. He came in me. I woke up in a puddle of cum and blood. My shirt was torn my panties missing. I couldn’t believe if it was real I felt like throwing up, dry heaved and nothing came out bc I didn’t eat for days. It hurt to pee, I had to strain. I still have to focus to pee now. Blood was on the tissue paper after. I immediately took a Xanax I couldn’t handle processing what happened, I didn’t have another place to stay for the next 2 weeks. I didn’t want to ask for help. I don’t remember much of that week I was doing so many drugs to numb the pain, he fucked me other times but I didn’t feel it or react. I wasn’t in my own body. I wasn’t even me anymore I was so damaged by the experience. Paralyzed. I ended up dumping him at a coffee shop during winter break, he violently raped me maybe two weeks prior. I’d spent time with my friends and out of state family mentally preparing to dump him. He said it was cool bc he wanted to fuck other girls anyways. I felt dirty and used up. I’d just let this ugly troll man abuse me for years, we were together for 2 years.

A week later I dropped out of school, partied every night, moved into a trap house, started dating my current bf I’ve been with for 6 years now.