#look at jesper asking all the important questions

[nylqnder]

𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐃 | 𝐋𝐔𝐊𝐄 𝐇𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐄𝐒

summary: in the wake of your painful break-up with jack, you find comfort and blossoming feelings with luke.

warning: part two to this fic, bsf ! luke hughes x reader, jack hughes x reader, angst, jack once again being a terrible (ex)boyfriend, little tiny bit of swearing

word count: 2.93k

In the days that followed your birthday, your head felt like it was in a blender. The entire day had left you confused, hurt, and angry. The sting of Jack's absence was a constant ache, and the silence that followed was deafening. You hadn't heard from him at all — not even a ‘sorry for bailing on your birthday’ text. The uncertainty about your relationship status gnawed at you, making you question everything.

Luke had been a steady presence during this time, though he couldn’t provide any more information about Jack’s whereabouts or reasons. He had barely spoken to his brother since their blowup at the arena. Their encounters were limited to brief, awkward glimpses at the rink, where Luke made a point to avoid prolonged interaction. In the meantime, Luke had been staying over at your apartment and occasionally at Jesper's. You hated how you had come between two brothers, creating a rift between two people who had once been so close.

The days dragged on, each one marked by the same painful silence from Jack. You tried to go about your daily routine, but the weight of your unresolved feelings made it difficult to focus. Work was a welcome distraction, though your colleagues noticed the change in your demeanor.

One evening, when you were sitting on your couch, a knock at your door drew your focus off the baseball game playing on your TV. When you opened the door, you were met with a remorseful-looking Jack.

“Can I come in?” he asked softly.

You hesitated momentarily, wondering if it was a good decision, but ultimately stepped aside and let Jack in. Jack had spent the last couple of days in a haze, his argument with Luke replaying in his head. His words had been harsh but true, piercing through the fog of Jack's self-deception and forcing him to confront the reality of his actions.

As he sat across from you at your kitchen table, the silence between you two was almost unbearable. Jack's eyes wandered, unable to meet yours, focusing instead on the bracelets on his wrists.

He took a deep breath, his eyes finally meeting yours. “I’m so sorry… for everything, y/n,” he said. “I know I’ve been a terrible boyfriend and I let you down, not just on your birthday but so many times before that.”

You felt your emotions rising in your chest, tears brimming in your eyes as you remembered your birthday. You remembered waiting throughout the night as everyone who wasn’t your boyfriend arrived to celebrate your birthday. The memory of the pitying glances you’d received as the hours passed by only amplified your heartbreak.

Jack reached out, taking your hand that was resting on the table in his. His touch was tentative as if he feared you might pull away. “I’ve been a fucking idiot,” he continued. “I never meant to make you feel like you weren’t important to me, and I know I’ve messed up more times than I can count, but… I don’t want to lose you. I need a second chance.”

You considered his words but couldn’t help but feel that they rang empty. You took a shaky breath, pulling your hand away gently. “Jack, it’s not a second chance at this point… it’s a fourth or a fifth,” you said. “The amount of times you’ve left me sitting in front of my mirror, my makeup completely done and so excited to go on a date with my boyfriend, only to have you text me that you can’t make it? I can’t keep doing that.”

Jack’s face fell, the true extent of his non-committal behavior sinking in. He looked down at the table, unable to meet your gaze. “I know, y/n… I’ve been awful, and I’ve let you down so many times. I can’t even begin to make up for all the times I wasn’t there for you.”

You wiped a tear from your cheek, trying to keep your voice steady. “It’s not just about the dates, Jack. It’s about feeling like I’m the last thing on your mind, like an afterthought.”

Jack’s eyes snapped back to yours, soft and desperate. “You’re not an afterthought, y/n.”

“Jack…” you shook your head. “If I was everything to you, you wouldn’t have missed my birthday. You wouldn’t have let me down time and time again. I can’t keep being disappointed. I can’t keep letting myself get pushed around like this. I feel like I’m a little girl again, crushing on the older brother of my best friend, wondering if he’ll ever give me the time of day or even spare me a glance.”

Jack’s shoulders slumped as the weight of your words hit him, each sentence like a physical blow. He knew you were right. He knew he had no defense. No valid excuse. He could see the pain in your eyes, shown with every tear that came down from your sullen eyes.

Jack recognized he was at the point of no return. You weren’t going to let him keep acting like this, at least not with you. A silence fell between the two of you as you read Jack’s anguished eyes, realizing he’d backed down.

“You should go, Jack,” you said softly, the finality of the words hanging in the air.

Jack nodded, standing up. He hesitated for a moment as if he wanted to say something, but knew there was nothing left to say, nothing that could change the damage that had been done. He simply walked to your side, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head, before leaving you sitting at your kitchen table, alone.

The door closed behind him with a soft click. You sat there a moment, the still silence of the apartment pressing on you. The reality of the situation finally hit you, and you felt a sob rise in your throat. You buried your head in your hands, the tears coming hard and fast, falling to the wood below you.

It was a mix of sadness and relief that washed over you. The sadness of losing someone you once loved deeply, and the relief of finally choosing yourself.

In the aftermath of your breakup with Jack, life felt like a whirlwind of emotions. Everything from pain to sadness to solace passed by you. Luke, true to his nature, was by your side through it all. The pain of Jack's absence was tempered by Luke's unwavering support. Slowly, you began to see him in a new light.

At first, it was the little things. Luke always knew how to make you laugh; his lighthearted jokes became a soothing balm for your broken heart. You began to notice how he always seemed to be there for you, how he never seemed too busy or distracted to listen. One evening, after you’d complained about your day at work, he came over with takeout and offered to watch the new season of Bridgerton, despite having complained about it previously. As you ate and laughed together, a warmth in your chest began to develop.

The next few weeks brought more of Luke's comforting presence. He came over to fix your leaky faucet that your super had neglected to fix despite your incessant asking. Each hangout also functioned as his way to check in on you, ensuring you were doing okay since the break-up. One night, he brought you a bouquet of flowers, just because he thought you’d like them.

The repeated small gestures spoke volumes to you, changing the way you saw Luke. You realized that he’d always been there, quietly supporting you, understanding you in ways that Jack never did. That realization hit you during one of your late-night conversations, as Luke listened intently while you told a story from your day.

The days passed and the relationship you once had as children came back in full force. You started looking forward to the moments you got to spend with Luke. You began to crave his company, seeking him out even for the simplest things like grabbing coffee or taking a walk in the park, even offering to work out with him despite having to go through his intense hockey regimes.

It all came to a head one evening as you sat on your balcony, watching the sun set upon the city. The two of you sat in comfortable silence, the cool breeze blowing over your skin. You turned to look at him, the setting sun casting a golden glow on his face. It was in that moment that you realized just how much he meant to you.

The more time you spent with Luke, the stronger your feelings grew.

However, with your blossoming feelings came an overwhelming sense of fear and guilt. Fear, because acknowledging these emotions might disrupt the delicate balance of your lives, and disrupt the friendship you'd both held dear for years. Guilt, because crushing on your ex-boyfriend's little brother, even if you knew him first, felt like a cardinal sin, and the idea of causing a rift between them was almost unbearable.

You found yourself in a near-constant state of inner turmoil. The joy of being with Luke was tempered by the anxiety of the potential fallout. What if Luke didn't feel the same way? What if he did? The questions spiraled in your mind, each one bringing a new wave of dread. You were scared of complicating things, of making a mess of something so precious. Your friendship with Luke was one of the most important things in your life, and the thought of losing it because of your feelings was terrifying.

As these emotions churned within you, you started to withdraw slightly, afraid that any small gesture might betray your true feelings. You became hyper-aware of every interaction, second-guessing yourself constantly. Did that touch linger too long? Was that compliment too heartfelt? You began to isolate yourself, creating a distance in an attempt to protect what you had, but this only made the feelings more confusing.

Meanwhile, Luke noticed the shift in your behavior. He brushed it off, as he knew how stressed you were due to work, but when it remained for weeks at a time, he couldn’t ignore the growing distance. He noticed the way you hesitated around him, whether it was when you were going in for a hug or when you laughed, and it was missing the usual genuine ring to it. It was as if a barrier had formed between you, sending profound unease through him.

He started to question himself, wondering if he'd done something to cause your withdrawal. Was he too forward in his gestures of friendship? Did he unknowingly overstep boundaries in his efforts to make you feel comfortable around him again? As he reflected on your interactions and the days spent together, doubts crept into his mind. Maybe he misread your signals, mistaking your friendliness for something more. The fear of having made you uncomfortable ate away at him, casting a shadow over his every interaction with you.

Luke finally decided he couldn't ignore the growing tension any longer. He knew he needed to confront you, not only to ease his own concerns but also because he cared deeply about your well-being. You’d been dodging his calls, coming up with excuses to avoid one-on-one hangouts with him. It pained you to do that, especially after experiencing that with Jack, but you didn’t know if you could be in the same room as Luke without the fear of ruining things coming back.

Since you’d been almost completely ignoring him, Luke knew his only option was to go straight to your place and confront you directly. After a game, he left nearly as soon as media was done, speeding to your place, where he knew you’d be. Because, even though you were ignoring him, he knew you would’ve watched the whole game, your eyes glued to Luke whenever he graced the ice.

The knock at your door at eleven at night sent a worry through your core, but when you saw the curly-headed boy on the other side, the worry subsided before morphing into a different type of fear.

“Can I come in?” Luke asked when you opened the door. He was right about knowing you had watched the game, glancing at the ESPN post-game highlights playing on your TV.

You nodded silently, letting Luke inside. He didn’t sit down, instead standing in the middle of the room, fiddling with the bracelets on his wrists. The sight was all too familiar to when Jack came over a couple of months before. The reminder that you were crushing on your ex's younger brother pounded in your mind, discomfort washing over you.

He noticed the tension in your posture, the way your gaze flickered nervously whenever he tried to meet it. “I… I can’t shake the feeling that something's off between us recently,” Luke said. “Is everything okay?”

Your heart clenched at the concern in his voice. “Yeah, everything’s fine,” you said, putting up a mask of sincerity.

Luke could tell instantly that your vague answer was a lie. The way your arms wrapped tightly around your torso, one that donned his hoodie. “Y/n, if you think I’m believing that, you’re out of your goddamn mind,” Luke said.

You swallowed hard as you looked into his eyes, so full of warmth and genuine care, you found yourself unable to keep up the facade. You let out a sigh, shoulders slumping as you finally admitted, "No, everything's fucked."

His brows furrowed in concern, and he took a small step closer, a silent invitation for you to continue. "Luke, I… I don't know how to say this," you started, your voice trembling slightly. "But being around you lately… it's been… difficult."

Luke’s stomach churned as his fears suddenly came to fruition. He was right; he overstepped and misread your actions. You watched as Luke's expression softened even more, his eyes reflecting a mixture of confusion and concern. "Difficult?" he asked gently.

You took another deep breath, your hands trembling slightly. "I’ve been avoiding you because… I realized… I have feelings for you, Luke. And it scared me. Not just because of Jack and everything with him, but because you’ve been my friend for so long. I didn’t want to mess things up between us."

Luke's posture softened, his concern melting. "Y/n…"

You pressed on, unable to stop the flood of words. "I’m so sorry if this makes things awkward or if it complicates your relationship with Jack. I didn’t want to burden you with my feelings, so I tried to keep them locked away but being around you… God, it got so hard and I couldn’t keep pretending they weren’t there. I’m sorry for everything, I’ve screwed everything up."

You didn’t know when the tears started, but you felt them slide down your cheeks, dripping onto Luke’s hoodie you wore. When you finally finished, you looked at Luke, your heart in your throat. He took a step closer, his eyes locked on yours. “Are you done freaking out now?”

You blinked, taken aback by his calm response. “What?” you croaked out.

Luke smiled, a genuine warmth that reached his eyes. “Y/n, I like you too. Fuck… I’ve liked you for a while now.”

Your heart skipped a beat at his words, hope mingling with disbelief. “You do?”

As kids, your parents would always tease about the two of you maybe liking each other, which you’d always deny. Quinn would always poke fun at Luke, saying he was in love with you, but you always brushed it off. Cause you were just friends.

He nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “Yeah. I've been… scared, too. Scared of losing what we have, of messing things up. But… I can't ignore how I feel, either.”

Relief and joy flooded through you, mingling with the lingering fear. “So… what now?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

Luke took a step forward, closing the gap between the two of you, taking your hands in his. “Now, we take things one step at a time. And we’ll talk to Jack when the time is right. We figure this out together.” Luke told you. You felt your heart beat steady, Luke’s calming presence taking over. “But for now, can I kiss you?”

Your heart soared, and you nodded, a smile breaking through your tears. “Please.”

Luke's hand gently cupped your cheek, his thumb brushing away the tears that lingered. He leaned in slowly as you closed your eyes, anticipation fluttering in your stomach. The moment his lips touched yours, a spark ignited between you, sending a rush of warmth through your body.

When he finally pulled back, he rested his forehead against yours. “I've wanted to do that for so long,” he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper.

You smiled, your fingers tracing the line of his jaw. “Me too,” you admitted, feeling a weight lift off your chest.

Luke pulled you into a gentle hug, his arms wrapping around you tightly. The two of you stood there for a moment, just holding each other and savoring the moment. Eventually, you pulled back slightly, looking up at him. "What about Jack? How do we tell him?"

Luke sighed. “We’ll be honest with him. I’m sure he’ll be happy for us... Actually maybe not." Luke said, remembering his brother's words during their spat a couple months back. "But whatever happens, we’ll deal with it together.”

You nodded, Luke’s words allowing your nerves to calm a little. "Okay. Together."

[hauntedfictionland]

Being their emotional support person —

☾︎✰❛❀ Shadow and bone characters x gn!reader

Includes/warnings: light mentions of PTSD, injuries, slightly stalkerish behaviours and implied romance.

🪐notes: i sort of recently got into Shadow and Bone and oh boy I'm absolutely in love, the plotlines, music, and characters are so beautifully done. I do truly hope that Netflix renews it back.

— I. KAZ BREAKER

(♥︎^⁠_^♥︎)

You and Kaz went back quite a long time as far back as the time his brother died with his innocence. You went through that together, from the sidelines you watched him change drastically, grow into a man whose name was rather feared than loved.

Kaz doesn't admit it, but he relies on you a lot. He knows the harshness he's put upon you everyday isn't new by now, but still unwelcomed. It stings him. You almost get treated the same as any other crow, if not for the times where you'd hold his upper arm in an act of comfort when needed.

And he'd let you. ♡

You're not the most significant part of the group, or the strongly important. But you can be useful enough in his words to ‘stay’, definitely not because Kaz wants you there by his side as he's always had most of his life.

Or so what he insists.

He looks upon you along with every plan of heists, a wordless query of help. It does not look like it, but your opinions and suggestions matter to him more than you'll ever know.

And when you need a favor, he's all yours. Jesper would sometimes find him doing questionable things for a man like Kaz's taste, when he'd ask it always goes a simple “Y/N asked for this”.

When Kaz is faced with his past, especially if without black gloves he has used as a shield—he won't come to you. The most would be handing his gloves back.

But after the worst is gone, he'll slowly reach out to you. Sitting beside you, head leaning on your shoulder. That is the moment he wants the most, support to get back to the daily life.

He needs you.

Needing anything is a weakness surely but he truly never considered you his, without you he'd actually fall apart with the absence of the power to get back again. You're his strength. His support, his person.

You're his, and he's yours.

— II. INEJ GHAFA

(♥︎^⁠_^♥︎)

Inej doesn't really feel comfortable relying on a lot of people, anyone for that matter. Yet when it comes to you it almost seems so effortless. Perhaps that's the effect you have on her.

Kaz brought you in a while ago when he was in desperate need of a healer.

When she saw you the first time, you seemed shy to the point of not even being able to hold eye contact. However as time slowly passed on you spend way more time with Inej than anyone else as she tended to get herself in all sorts of trouble.

Inej would find herself looking at you often, wondering how the alignment of your lips to the sharpness of jaw could ever be so perfect.

She started to let a few things of her past out here and there while you'd bandage her, careful enough to never reach the tip of the surface.

Bit by bit, it turned into a habit. Only now she would come to you herself and open up even when there was no scar or injury on her.

Something about the way you listened so tentatively with soft eyes that held no judgement, your words which grasped onto the feelings she couldn't seem to comprehend and your affection, all of it pulled her in.

And she could not let go.

Sometimes Inej feels a bit guilty, how you're always there yet she isn't. She wants to know about you, your interests, your fears, your life. And she wants to help. In that sense she feels worse.

She's the wraith, she's never been scared of anyone. Yet Inej feels herself becoming powerless the moment she looks at you.

And that'll be the death of her.

— III. ALECSANDER KIRIGAN

(♥︎^⁠_^♥︎)

Much like Kaz, Kirigan is not the most reliable at showing affection. But he does know very clearly the way you've helped him will not go unnoticed or unappreciated.

Rather unexpectedly, even as a grisha on his team you've somehow managed to slip into the cracks of his facade. The demeanor he held.

After Alina fled, he wasn't in the calmest mind. And sensing you just hold him without a single word, a hand soothing his shoulder with a wave of your magic spreading around him. He in the longest while felt peace alongside tranquillity in just a few minutes.

With him in your arms, you gave him a sense of assurance without ever putting them into words.

Kirigan keeps you absolutely spoiled. He tells the extravagant jewelries and fancy wines are gestures of reward for your exertion which he'd give to anyone who'll work just as hard. Except that in truth he feels he owes you a great deal whenever his emotional hard times are mended because of you.

And it's his way of showing the utmost appreciation, almost affection you've placed in his heart for you.

The fact that you don't judge or mock, even think of him as ‘weak’ for not being the powerful general everyone sought out to be has him in a chokehold.

He thinks about you, and every one of your encounters has him thinking for weeks. Each and single one. Soley, it does come off as any surprise when Alecsander sets at least one grisha protector to watch you. Your safety is his utmost priority and even perhaps to know a little details about you and the people you talk with.

Which you don't need to know about whatsoever.

The time he revealed his true self to you, he was very much afraid that was the way he'll lose you. You'd see the monster his mother claims him to be and run far away. But instead when you embraced his dark side with a glint in your eyes, he knew you had him whipped in a tight hold.

— IV. ALINA STARKOV

(♥︎^⁠_^♥︎)

You first saw Alina when Zoya sent her flying across the field. Rather before that, eyes stealing glances on you.

She knew who you were, the great earth summoner. And as per who she was, Alina felt inclined to meet you. Her newly found peers brought her upon you, and when you turned to face her, Alina was quite at a loss for words.

Wonderstruck.

You seemed far much greater than she imagined, and oh she had a lot to learn from you.

Alina found you on many occasions, tried to as best she could. Questions about your powers, her powers, and secrets of the little palace. You gave them all, heart smiling fondly at her genuine curiosity.

You'd discover yourself sitting beside her, on the floor with backs leaning against the wooden bookshelves. Walks around the little palace or the library, you were growing much closer with her as the days passed.

Sometimes a word or two would slip out of her missing a certain Mal, and the camp of the first army. She would close them, a bit scared of your thoughts that is before you assure her. That whatever is was held in her heart, she could absolutely come to you.

And came she did.

You and her would spend hours under the night sky, hearing her stories of the orphanage—worries she held about herself, and Mal. Either way Alina was sure you were her answer.

The way you'd given her a tiny beam of grin, hands grazing over hers. Talking conclusions she could barely listen when her focus was your lips. A connection she felt that was electrifying.

Alina believed it was because of your power as the Earth, and her's as the Sun summoner. However in that, a deeper part of her knew something was more than that.

A single time someone referred you as her Earth summoner, the mere prospect of that—even when she knew the other meant it in no harm, drove her crazy.

The time after you comforted her about the troubles she held about Mal, sincere yet bittersweet smile on your lips. You knew she had feelings for the boy, a thought that made your gut wrench for a reason you didn't acknowledge.

When you asked her that, Alina's eyes gazed at yours before she pulled her lips on yours in return so softly you could only hum.

You were hers alright.

[magicandpizza]

3 pls❤️

Here you go my love! This one was fun 🤭

3. Seeing the love marks they left on their partner and getting turned on all over again remembering how they got there in the first place

Jesper stands in front of his wardrobe, debating his clothing options. They’re definitely going to be late for Radmakker’s garden party at this point, so he has no qualms about taking the time to ponder life’s important questions.

“The yellow suit or the green one?” he asks Wylan, who is busy fiddling with his cufflinks, despite the fact that he’s still in his underwear with his crisp, white shirt hanging open.

“Green,” Wylan calls back.

“You didn’t even look!”

“We’re late, Jes. And I don’t need to look, I like the green one.”

Turning round to shoot Wylan a withering look, Jesper’s gaze catches instead on his fiancé’s pale chest still on display, and then on the precise reason why they’re late: the trail of love bites littered over his stomach and disappearing into his underwear. He can’t see them, but he knows there’s at least two more hidden under the fabric, not to mention the ones he’d left on the inside of Wylan’s thighs.

His mouth feels dry at the reminder.

“Green it is,” he mutters to himself, taking the suit set out of the wardrobe and trying very hard not to think about exactly what they’d been doing earlier.

It doesn’t work, because then Wylan is next to him, grabbing his own blue, linen suit - because he’s feeling rebellious today, apparently - and glancing sideways at Jesper from under his lashes, which makes Jesper think he’s reliving it too, and that just makes him want to press Wylan up against the nearest horizontal surface and kiss him senseless.

There’s an extremely obvious love bite on Wylan’s neck, above the line of his collar, that Jesper doesn’t really remember leaving, but now that he’s thinking about it, it was probably when he buried his face in the soft skin in Wylan’s neck as the hot tension curling inside him wound tighter and tighter until it snapped and, and-

Jesper groans out loud.

Wylan smirks at him. “Are you ready?”

“No,” Jesper grits out. “Not unless you want me to cause a scandal by showing up at Radmakker’s with a hard-on.”

“Well,” says Wylan, stepping in close and resting his hands on Jesper���s hips, fingers teasing at the waistband of his underwear. “We’re already late, right?”

[potatowithinternet]

fics that have forever altered my brain chemistry

(organized by fandom)

Grishaverse

read me poetry by dead men by demigodbeautiies

Major Character Death (but like, he's already dead)

Jesper Fahey/Wylan Van Eck, background Kaz Brekker/Inej Ghafa, ghosts, ghosts only exist in the moments they are remembered, Non-Linear Narrative, Hurt Hurt Hurt Hurt/Comfort, this one will leave you actually sobbing, implied sexual content

Word Count: 16792 words. 1/1 chapter

Summary:

Wylan suits bright colours better than anything else: especially the warm tones that bring out the gold shine in his hair. He doesn’t look good in black.

Or: Jesper watches the living carry on without him.

origami butterflies by focacciaherbs

Jesper Fahey/Wylan Van Eck, Kaz Brekker/Inej Ghafa, Background Nina/Matthias, road trips with a stranger, first meeting, modern au, miscommunications, so much bickering, Jan Van Ick is a terrible father but karma catches up to him eventually, implied sexual content (not really)

Word Count: 54536 words. 8/8 chapters

Summary:

“Are you Jesper Fahey?” Just say no, Jesper thinks as he stares at the man in front of him. Deny it and drive off.  “Yeah, that’s me.” He sighs. “Get in.”

or: as part of a job for kaz, jesper agrees to drive a weird, annoying, definitely not at all attractive stranger across the country. shenanigans ensue.

Only One Reasonable Plea by Frick6101719

fear of noncon (it doesn't happen, and Kaz never has that intention, but Inej is very convinced that it might for a moment)

Kaz Brekker/Inej Ghafa, Inej's early days in the Dregs, she also gets a better explanation of her contract with the dregs, Kaz is trying his best to be a good boss but he is just so confused and emotionally incompetent sometimes

Word Count: 3883 words. 1/1 chapter

Summary:

Inej realises that she was so eager to leave the Menagerie she neglected to ask a few important questions about just what her duties as a Dreg would be, and what exactly her new boss expects from her.

a good myth is hard to kill by MajorGodComplex

Kaz Brekker/Darkling, Kaz Brekker/Inej Ghafa, Kaz Brekker/Jesper Fahey (kind of), Sun Summoner Kaz, Canon-Typical Violence, Mostly Kazling, unhealthy relationships, the slowest of burns (death threats are involved), Kaz learns how to open up to people the hard way, meanwhile the Darkling is busy gaslight-gatekeep-girlbossing, no seriously is gets bad, the Crows have so many shenanigans, oh and Nikolai is there too I guess

Word Count: 231561 words. 97/97 chapters

Summary:

“Kaz Brekker…Sun Summoner...I’ve been waiting a long time for you.” “Hope that means you’ve built patience, then, because I anticipate you’re going to wait a fair bit more.”

Kaz is the Sun Summoner, and boy is he pissed about it.

I will probably add to this...

[atlabeth]

i’m your gal — jesper fahey

summary: two durasts in the barrel, one a sharpshooter and one a gunsmith. blackmail’s really the only answer, isn’t it?

a/n: blackmail is love in the barrel i guess. also fun fact: i started this before i even started six of crows because i guess i think i don’t need to know the source material that i write fic for anymore but now ive read both soc and ck so im good

wc: 3.7k

warning(s): fem!reader, blackmail obviously. guns, talks of death, constant threats, questionable romantic tactics. kaz hates everything

You were roused from an unpleasant bout of sleep by knocking—slamming, rather—against your door. You frowned as you rubbed your eyes and stood up from your chair.

You had to stop falling asleep at your desk, you thought sourly as you walked through the narrow hallway to your “front door”. When you opened it, you weren’t surprised by what you saw.

“Fahey,” you said flatly. “I assume you’re here—”

“For my gun,” he said, pushing past you to get inside. “Yes, that would be right. Shoddy service that it took you all this time to get here.”

You scowled as you shut the door and followed him. “My hours haven’t even started, azel. You’re lucky I’ve even let you in—I should charge you double the kruge for your nerve.”

“Yeah, but you can’t deny your handsomest customer.” He winked at you, and you rolled your eyes as you pushed open the door to your office. At least he had the decency to wait for that.

“My most annoying customer,” you corrected. “Tell me, do you get your nerve from Novyi Zem or the Wandering Isle?” 

“Neither,” he said, his hand resting on his holster as he, per course, refused to take a seat. “It’s all homegrown by yours truly.” 

“How lovely,” you said wryly. You took a seat at your pathetic excuse of a desk and stared at him. “Do you have the rest of my money?” 

“As if I would walk in here without all my payment,” Jesper said. He pulled out a few wads of bundled up kruge, and you raised an eyebrow as you took them. You pulled the bands off and began to count, not bothering to look up at him as you spoke. 

“How much of this did you gamble away before today?” you asked. “If it’s honestly all here, then you’ll have surprised me, Fahey.” 

Jesper pressed a hand to his heart. “You wound me. Of course it’s all there.” 

“Forgive me for my assumptions,” you said wryly. “Your reputation just precedes you.”

“These guns are more important than my life,” said Jesper, and you couldn’t tell whether or not he was joking. “The money’s all there.”

You finished counting—it really was all there, though the differing amounts of wear and grime on the bills showed he had in fact won some of it back—and you chuckled. “Congratulations. You’ve managed not to be a thief for one day.” 

“That wounds me further,” Jesper commented, and he crossed his arms. “Now, I’d like to see my pistols, new and old. It’s been very difficult living without them these past few weeks.” 

“My work doesn’t come cheap, Fahey,” you said as you knelt down, “and it doesn’t come quick either.” 

You pulled your knife out of its sheath and pried up the floorboard from underneath the spot your chair usually was, then turned the lock back and forth until your safe opened. You pulled out the guns and set them on your desk, standing back up as you shut the safe with the heel of your boot. 

“Well,” you said, “what do you think?” 

You could have sworn he went a little teary-eyed, and you couldn’t help but smile.

When Jesper Fahey, sharpshooter for the Dregs and well-known for his ability to gamble away his life’s savings in a night, nearly toppled your door from his amount of knocking, you had half a mind to turn him away. But his Fabrikator-made, Zemeni revolvers were almost as beautiful as him, and when he offered to pay you a whole lot of kruge to make an exact replica, you could hardly turn it down. 

He carried twin revolvers everywhere he went, but apparently, during a heist gone wrong, one of the twins was fatally wounded. Jesper himself was a Durast, but he told you he wasn’t nearly skilled enough to bring it back to life. Word had spread of your abilities—a little more than you’d have liked, if you were being honest—and he found his way to your door. It took a lot of convincing to get him to leave the other with you so you could make a true replica, and you could tell every step taken without them at his side hurt. 

He picked up the pistol you’d made. He held it up to the light, knocked his knuckles against it, looked at it from every angle possible, then held up his other one and looked at it in comparison from every angle possible. Jesper spun out the barrel, clicked it back in, and did the same thing a few more times until he looked at you and grinned. 

“She’s beautiful,” Jesper whispered, and he tucked them into his holsters. A weight visibly lifted off his shoulders, and the electric energy that always buzzed around him seemed to dissipate some. “How do you do it? How did you get it exactly the same? Even the pearls— the damn sheen is the same.” 

You shrugged. “It’s my job. I’m good at it.” 

He shook his head. “I could kiss you right now. You’re incredible.” 

“You’re pretty, Fahey, but you’re annoying.” You smiled. “Let’s stick to business.” 

“How are you not indentured by now?” he asked incredulously. “Surely some merch has gotten their claws in you.” 

“I told you,” you said with a slight smile, “I’m good at my job. And my job includes staying independent.” 

“Surely everyone knows you’re Grisha by now,” said Jesper. 

You shrugged. “No one can prove anything. And if you say a word,” you looked at his guns, “I’ll give them a slow death.” 

Jesper’s eyes narrowed. “You wouldn’t dare.” 

You offered another pleasant smile. “Get out of my office, Fahey.” 

“Pleasure doing business with you,” called Jesper as he walked out, a hand held up in parting as he left you with a wink.

You just huffed a laugh and shook your head. One credit to Ketterdam was that you were never bored. 

-

“Kaz,” Jesper begged, “please.”

“Absolutely not,” he stated. “We don’t have the resources.”

“She is the resources!” he exclaimed. “She’s a Durast, and she makes the best weapons I’ve ever seen. Besides, she doesn’t have to be part of your circle—she’ll do fine as a plain old Dreg, or even just a supplier.”

“You’re a Durast,” Kaz said coldly. “Can you not do exactly what she does?”

“No,” Jesper insisted, “nobody can. She makes a living off of selling her Grisha weapons because they’re unmatched by anyone else’s.”

“I’m aware,” he said. “I’ve been keeping tabs on her ever since she sold her first weapon in the Barrel. She hasn’t encroached on our territory, so I’ve let her be.” 

“So you know everything she can do,” Jesper said. “Even more reason to hire her.” 

“I don’t see why you don’t just improve your abilities.”

“I don’t know, Kaz,” he said, making a mockery of his words, “I might just be trying to avoid earning an indenture.”

“She’s not indentured,” Kaz pointed out. 

“Because nobody knows that they’re Grisha weapons, not for sure, besides me.”

“I know,” said Kaz. 

“You know everything,” Jesper grumbled. “And any other person in the Barrel who has experience with Fabrikator weapons, I suppose, but that’s not the point.” Jesper’s eyes glistened. “There are a whole lot of suspicions floating around. And that’s how we get her.”

“…You’re suggesting we blackmail her,” Kaz said, and he leaned back in his chair. 

“I wouldn’t put it like that,” Jesper said, “but, uh—yes.” He cleared his throat. “We would be blackmailing her.”

“Go on,” he said. 

“It’s pretty simple,” Jesper shrugged. “She works for us for a reduced rate, we promise not to throw her to the wolves. You get to keep most of your kruge, she gets to keep her life and most of her independence, and we get the best weapons on this side of the True Sea for the Dregs.”

“Interesting.” Kaz glanced down at his papers then back at Jesper. “Anything else?”

His eyes glinted. “I saw Pekka Rollins outside her building the other day. I’ve heard through some circles that he secretly commissioned a few weapons from her—my bet is that he was testing her goods, and now he wants her permanently on his side.”

Kaz’s jaw clenched. Thank the Saints for his grudge, because it would make this a lot easier. 

“Talk to Inej and Nina. See if they know anything I don’t.” Highly unlikely, Jesper wanted to say, seeing as Dirtyhands knew everything that went on in the Barrel, but he nodded. “If you’re lucky, we’ll pay her a visit tonight.”

“You’re actually agreeing with me,” Jesper marveled. “Are you sure you’re feeling alright?”

Kaz scowled. “Don’t make me regret this.”

“I would never.” Jesper grinned, already starting to back towards the door. “You’d better prepare for a midnight escapade.”

He didn’t wait for a response—likely that he wouldn’t get one anyway—and shut the door with a sigh behind him. Jesper practically flew down the stairs, never so thankful for the rarity that was both Nina and Inej idling. They were sat at the bar together conversing, and without much care for it all, Jesper slid in next to them. 

“What an entrance,” remarked Inej. 

“I know how to make them,” he said, “but we tragically don’t have time to talk about my greatness. What do you two know about the gunsmith near the Exchange?” 

“Above the bakery?” Nina asked. Jesper nodded, and she grinned. “The Grisha Gunsmith. She’s playing a dangerous game.” 

Inej frowned. “How do you know?”

Jesper glanced at her. “You didn’t know?” 

“Of course I know.” Inej sounded almost offended. “I just wanted to know how you know.” 

“I can just sense it,” she said. “Maybe it’s a Heartrender thing.”

“It is not a Heartrender thing,” Jesper scoffed. “I know about her and I’m not a Heartrender.”

“I believe Nina,” Inej said, and Jesper groaned.

“You are all impossible, do you know that?”

Nina laughed and she held up a hand. “Alright. Yes, I know she’s Grisha, and we’re decently acquainted. Most of the Grisha in Ketterdam know each other—we pass things along, try and keep each other safe.” 

“So?” Jesper leaned forward. “Have you got anything?” 

“She was born in Ketterdam. Had a brief spout at the university before she dropped out, and then she decided to make a living in the Barrel.” She shrugged. “At least, that’s what she’s told me.” 

“That’s why she seems so familiar!” Jesper exclaimed. “We had a class together! I hardly remember what it was, but it’s not like it really matters now, but still—dropping out of university to recklessly sell weapons.” He couldn’t help but smile. “Truly a woman after my own heart.” He then turned to Inej. “What have you, Wraith?” 

“All of that is true,” Inej said, inclining her head. “She’s been making weapons since her university days, and she’s done freelance work for a lot of gangs over the years. The Razorgulls seem to favor her, but Pekka Rollins and his Dime Lions seem to like her too, especially as of late.” 

“Interesting, interesting.” Jesper nodded a few times. “Very interesting. At least I was right on the Rollins front.” 

“I’ve also seen her around West Stave doing work,” Inej said. Usually her lip curled when she spoke of the canal, but instead there was a glint in her eye. “She slips weapons to girls who need it most.”

Jesper nodded, and he held Inej’s gaze for a moment longer. “Admirable.”  

“Why are you so interested in this anyway?” Nina asked. “Seems a lot more trouble than it’s worth.” 

“I want her on our team,” he said. “She’s brilliant. I only have until tonight to convince Kaz this is a worthy investment, and I convince him by convincing you.”

“Then convince us, Fahey,” Nina said with a smile.

“Our dear Wraith.” He clasped his hands together in front of Inej and he saw the mirth spark in her eyes. “How would you feel if your knives could never break?”

“They don’t break in the first place,” she said.

“But if they did,” Jesper said, “she could fix them.”

“Couldn’t you just do it?” she asked.

Jesper groaned and pulled back. “Why does everyone think I can do what she does just because I’m a Fabrikator too?”

“…I have seen some of her weapons,” Nina said. “They’re near indestructible. I’ve heard she makes her bullets too.”

“She does,” Jesper said, giddy like a little kid as he pulled out one of his pistols and set it on the table. “This is Ace made, and it’s the best damn thing I’ve ever held. Doesn’t it look exactly like my old one?”

Nina studied it, reaching out a hand that was then receded with the look Jesper gave her. “Very much like it.”

Inej, rather, cocked an eyebrow. “‘Ace made’?”

“That’s what she goes by,” he said. “Y’know, ‘ace shooter’ and all?”

“Nobody calls her that in the Barrel,” Nina said, a grin forming as she crossed her arms. 

Jesper shrugged defensively. “I do. It’s catchier than the Grisha Gunsmith, and it doesn’t expose her.” 

Nina leaned forward, that glint in her eye that Jesper didn’t exactly like. “Your heart is beating pretty fast for talk about guns and catchy nicknames.”

“Ah,” Inej nodded, “that’s why you want her to join us so badly.”

“I want her to be on our side because she makes incredible weapons,” huffed Jesper, “and because I certainly don’t want her as an enemy.”

“And because you think she’s beautiful,” Nina cooed. 

“Which is not a crime,” Jesper defended. “So what? You flirt with anything that moves, Nina.”

She tipped her shoulder. “Fair.”

“I think getting her on our side is smart,” Inej said. “She deals a lot of quality weapons to a lot of gangs—funneling that straight to the Dregs would be of aid.” 

“Thank you, Inej,” Jesper said solemnly. “Kaz holds your opinion much higher than any of ours.” 

She glanced away, though the smallest smile curled on her lips. Nina grinned and nodded to Jesper. 

“Good luck with all this,” Nina said. “I hope the blackmail doesn’t ruin your relationship too much.” 

“This is the Barrel,” said Jesper. “Blackmail is practically flirting.” 

“Saints, Jesper,” Nina muttered. “It really isn’t.” 

-

Jesper had to admit, he did feel the slightest bit of guilt as he stood in front of your front door—rather, the door to the shoddy space you rented out above a bakery—Bastard of the Barrel next to him. Just this morning, you saved him from a fate worse than death and replicated his revolver with Fabrikator perfection he’d previously thought impossible. 

And now, he was thanking you by getting you stuck with the Dregs. 

Maybe blackmail didn’t pass as flirting, but it was just as common in the Barrel. It wasn’t something to make himself feel better, it was the truth—no matter how good you were, sooner or later, you would get caught up in a mess you couldn’t get out of. This was the smartest option.

Thankfully, he didn’t have time to revel in his thoughts for much longer as the door was opened, and you were remarkably poor at hiding your surprise. You looked a bit of a mess, and Jesper figured they were your rude awakening. You were still beautiful as ever, and he allowed a moment to take you in. 

“Gentlemen,” you said levelly, staring at both of them. Jesper couldn’t remember the last time he’d been referred to as a gentleman—the word was probably foreign to Kaz. “What brings you back—” you glared at Jesper— “to my door at this hour?” 

“A business offer.” Kaz looked every bit the intimidator and he wasn’t even trying. He was just standing there, gloved hands resting on the crow head of his cane, as he spoke with that coal rasp of a voice. “It would be smart to let us in.” 

Maybe you were better at hiding your surprise than Jesper thought, because your expression remained as still as your voice as you stepped aside and let them both in. Jesper noticed you locked the door behind them. He didn’t know what use you thought that would be, but he understood—petty comforts were still comforts. 

“Kaz Brekker,” you said, coming to a stop behind your desk. Your poster was a whole lot stiffer, tone much more restrained. “I never thought I would see you at my door. How’s your cane working for you?” 

“I don’t need a replacement,” he said. 

You hummed. “Good. I don’t much like crows.” 

“Pity,” said Kaz. Jesper swallowed, fingers tapping nervously on his revolvers. He spent so much time around Kaz, he almost forgot what it was like for those that weren’t used to him. The man was terrifying when you didn’t know he wouldn’t kill you. 

“Kvas?” you asked, holding the bottle up. Both of them shook their heads. You shrugged and poured a bit more in your glass.

“Remind you of home?” Jesper asked.

You huffed a laugh. “You could say that. Now, what do you two want?”

“Your service,” Kaz said. 

You raised an eyebrow. “You, or the Dregs?” 

“Both,” he answered. 

The gesture turned to a frown. “I’m afraid I don’t understand.” 

“We want you to work with us,” Jesper translated. “We want you to be a Dreg.” 

Your eyes flashed with something he couldn’t fully place. “And where is this coming from, Fahey?” 

He shrugged. “We could use your skills.” 

“My skills have been around for a while,” you said. You pulled out your knife from its sheath, and Jesper’s skin felt very fragile all of a sudden. He was very thankful when you instead started twirling it between your fingers. “Your intimate knowledge of my skills has only been around since this morning.” 

“I’ve been aware of you since you first settled in the Barrel,” Kaz corrected, and he tapped his cane on the floor. “Since the moment you made your first payment on this wreck.”

“Of course,” you said wryly. “Did you know that I promised his guns a very slow death if he spread word of me?” 

“His guns will remain unharmed,” Kaz said. “I can’t have a sharpshooter without pistols. And I can’t have a gunsmith without hands.” 

Your burning gaze turned to Jesper. He almost took a step back from the force of it. 

“I’m not stupid, gentlemen,” you said after a moment of angry staring. “I hear what they say about me, about the rumored Grisha gunsmith. I’ve managed to avoid an indenture by equal parts smarts and luck, but I have backroads—I can leave Ketterdam, Kerch as a whole, overnight if I have to. You don’t get to this place without being able to disappear.”

“You’ll find the Dregs are quite organized,” said Kaz, “and quite experienced at bringing our competition down. In spite of backroads.”

“Ah,” you said flatly, staring at the wall as you continued to play with your blade. “This is a threat.”

“It doesn’t have to be,” Jesper shrugged. “You work with us, nobody will have confirmation that you’re Grisha. And if anyone tries anything with you, you’ll be protected.”

“And if I don’t?” you asked lazily.

“You’ll end up indentured to some lecher or dead on the streets within a week,” Kaz said. 

Your lips twisted into a smile, which Jesper assumed was more of a facade than anything. “I love dealing with you Dregs. Straight to the point.”

“It’s a better deal than anyone else would give you,” Jesper said. 

“You come in here, threaten me and my business, and ask me to work for you for free?” You laughed sharply, stabbing the blade you’d been twirling across your fingers into the wood of your desk. “You’ve got some nerve, Dirtyhands.”

“It’s a simple choice,” he said, gloved fingers running down the head of his cane. “I assume you’re intelligent enough to make the right one.”

“And it’s not exactly for free,” Jesper added. “You’ll get a base rate from Per Haskell. And you can still take commissions from anybody so long as they’re allied with us.”

“So you’re telling me no more special orders for Mister Rollins,” you said wryly, eyes narrowed on Kaz.

Nothing in his expression changed, though the rasp of his voice became a bit rougher. “No. And I expect a detailed summary of all the work you’ve ever done for the Dime Lions.”

You huffed as you pulled the blade out. “I always thought I’d end up floating in the harbour or indentured to some councilman before I ended up working for the Bastard of the Barrel.”

“It’s not all bad,” said Jesper with a shrug. “We’re quite good company, if I say so myself.”

Your eyes trailed over to his forearm, his rolled up sleeve revealing the ink of the Dregs. “When do you mark me?”

“After you sign the contract,” Kaz said. 

“It’ll be extra protection,” Jesper said. “Another bonus. Much less likely to get nabbed off the street if you’ve got the Dregs on your arm.”

You stared at both of them for a good, long moment, hardened eyes narrowing in. Jesper could only guess at what was running through your mind at the moment. He knew he was thinking of how attractive you were when you looked like you wanted to drive that knife through both their hearts. 

“I’ll be paid enough that I won’t lose this place,” you finally said.

Kaz nodded.

“And I’ll still be able to make a living through commissions to those allied with the Dregs.”

“To your heart’s content,” Jesper confirmed. 

“I want you to do the tattoo,” you said, looking straight at Jesper. “You’re obviously the one that got me into this mess, so you might as well solidify it.” 

Jesper shifted uneasily. He hoped you would renege on your promise of a slow death. “Right.”

Again, you stared at them. And then you sighed heavily, plucked the knife off the table, and shoved it in its sheath. 

“I guess I’m your gal, then.” You threw back your glass of kvas, standing and offering a charming smile. “I hope you’ve got room for two Durasts, Mister Brekker. Otherwise, you’re the one that’ll be out on the street, pretty boy.”

Jesper’s eyes twinkled. “You think I’m pretty?”

“And far too annoying for your own good.”

He grinned. “You think I’m pretty.” 

And the slight upturn of your lips was worth Kaz’s incredulous scoffs. 

[imperatorrrrr]

hi t!! i just have one question: what do you think of bratter and nico on the same line?

Good Evening Anon!

blanket apology to all asks in my inbox for the delay in answering.

Okay let's talk about Jesper Bratt and Nico Hischier on the same line together.

Look I love PBandJ as much as the next guy. Jack and Jesp are magical together, but we gotta talk about Jesp and Nico and their stats. Gentle reminder, none of this is to disparage Jack and Jesp together. I truly do think them on a line together is the best hockey around. This is just a focus on what Bratter can do and has done with Nico.

some fun things!

last season, when the entire team was playing their worst, do you wanna know what second best line in the league was through like February 2024....Palat - Nico - Jesp. Seriously. They were the toughest line to play against last season after the an Oilers line htat includes McDavid when they were played together.

the season before that the 22/23 season, the Tatar - Nico - Jesp line was consistently one the top lines in the league at least through December 2022 of that season. Once the Tatar - Nico - Merce line was introduced, then obviously they had themselves a helluva season.

Bratter got his three hundredth career point on a Nico Hischier goal

does anyone remember the Jesper Bratt 32 Thoughts Podcast/Interview where he talks about Jack and he talks about Nico.

back to our god awful last season, do we remember that run of games where Bratter would find Nico with a no look pass and Nico would bury the puck. there was the Rags game and the Senators game.

looking at stats going back to the start of last season and through January of this season, Bratter has more goals, more shots on goal, and more points with Nico in less time on ice than he does with Jack.

what makes Jesp and Nico so good is that its hard for players to play with Nico sometimes because its such a defense first mentality. you're starting in the defensive zone more often than not and you need to be defensively responsible at all times. even with all of that, Bratter is able to produce with Nico and not only is he able to produce he frees up Nico to produce as well.

for example, lots of people have been harping on Timo this season for his "lack of offensive production" when they don't understand that him playing with Nico completely changes how he plays and how he's risen to the occasion of being Nico's linemate, but its clearly affected Timo's offensive output.

Bratter doesn't have that same issue because he and Nico have had this thing figured out since 2017. before there was the Euro line of Jesp - Nico - Timo, there was Pavs (Pavel Zacha) - Nico - Jesp.

arguably, when the season was winding down and without Jack last season, the new and improved Euro line kept us alive in a lot of games and also made some games really fun to watch, remember that Toronto game.

also fun fact! they both hit thirty goals in a season for the first time together in the same season and in the same game.

across the board, in most every single stat, specifically playing 5v5, Bratter is better with Nico than when he plays with Jack. (which again is not to say he's bad with Jack, just that he's fucking good with Jack but he's fucking great with Nico)

the solution is, as I've been saying since 2021, we need to clone Jesper Bratt and have one of him on every single line.

when Nico returns from IR after the break, I'm hoping to see some line shake ups. I want to see more of Bratter with Nico, probably seeing Timo with his own line as well.

also, for us NicoJesp enthusiasts out there. these two have been through coaches, GMs, players, trades, seasons, ups, downs, playoffs, injuries, slumps, everything together. They've both been very vocal about how important the other is to their team, to their game, and to each other. that kind of off ice love and friendship really boosts the on ice stuff.

[wh0refornikolailantsov]

Prompt: "You’re jealous, aren’t you?”

For Nina x Reader please!!

Couldn't Love Anybody Else - Nina Zenik

Content Warnings: Insecurity And Doubt. No Beta/Proof Reading.

"I think it's best that I go," Nina tells Kaz, "we know I can be very persuasive." You smile, knowing exactly how persuasive Nina is capable of being.

"No," Kaz says plainly before looking to you, "you will go."

"Why?" You ask, and bite your tongue at the snapping rate of the question.

"Because you have the expertise to get you in," Kaz says, "and you're exactly his type."

"I resent the way you said that Brekker," Nina says. "Besides I am everyone's type."

"Nina, I need your skills elsewhere," Kaz says, "now go home, get sleep, tomorrow we have a job to do."

You know better than to argue with Kaz Brekker, but that doesn't stop Nina from trying. Once she finally exhausts herself from arguing with him, you hold the door open for her and start the short walk back.

Jesper stops you on the way, asking if either of you have recently set eyes on Wylan, Nina is uncharacteristically quiet, clearly thinking something over and over. "What dumb thing have you done now?" You ask. Jesper tilts his head side to side.

"I didn't do anything dumb," he says, and then upon some contemplation, "but I did say something dumb."

"What could you possibly say that is dumber than things you've come out with before?" You ask, trying not to let your gaze linger on Nina's blank expression too long.

"I was talking about missing Milo," Jesper explained. You nod.

"The goat," you say. Jesper rubs his neck all sheepish.

"Yeah, I am glad you recognised that, turns out that might not have been so obvious to everyone," Jesper says. You sigh.

"You didn't prefix it with, by the way I am talking about a goat?" you ask. Jesper takes his head.

"I would clip you one if I didn't think you were faster than me," you warn him.

"It's stupid, I know, and now I can't find him to explain," he says.

"I'd check the night market," you tell him. Jesper frowns.

"We have a night market?" he looks deeply unnerved.

"In the nice side of Ketterdam, he sometimes goes there when he is stressed, they make good snacks, and they sometimes import good powders," you explain. Jesper scans you up and down in a glance. "Yes, I listen to your boyfriend, now go and apologise while he is still your boyfriend."

"Received," Jesper says before dashing off into the dark.

"Dumbass," you whisper, you look to Nina, hoping for a smile, but she is scrunching up her nose in discontent. You don't try asking until you make it back into your kitchen, and offer Nina some hot chocolate. She shakes her head, not even really registering the question and that's more than enough to have you worried.

"What is it?" You ask.

"Hmm?" Nina says, looking startled out of her thoughts as she looks across the room to you.

"You don't think I can do this job?" you ask her.

"I know you can do this job," she assures you. "I don't like it any though."

"Why spend so much time arguing with Kaz, Nina, you knew it was pointless," you say, leaning against the counter.

"Had to try," she says.

"Why though?" You ask. She presses her hands together and then looks up at the ceiling, she is searching for a reason, a reason that isn't the truth, a reason that sounds more reasonable than the truth, but she fails to find one. "You're jealous, aren't you?"

You had meant about the job, about Kaz putting you in the centre, and asking Nina to pull some background tricks to keep them moving, but the second the words reach her the look of guilt on her face reveals a whole other kind of jealousy, a type you hadn't dared consider. She's jealous that you have to seduce someone as part of the job.

"No," Nina's voice is sturdy but her conviction is lacking. She won't meet your eye as she says it.

"Nina," you sound out her name soft and slow, and she quickly mistakes your empathy or pity and throws you a look. Her arms crossed across her chest and doing her best not to pout.

"Look, you don't have to look at me like that," she says, "I know it's part of the job."

"Nina, I am not looking at you like anything," you defend. She eyes you, not yet convinced. She has flirted her way through jobs before, she has flirted herself out of trouble more times than she can count. But with you it's different, because you didn't flirt for fun, or for the sake of it, you weren't like Nina and Jesper, you'd never got your kicks from watching someone else blush and buckle under the weight of your attention. Flirting was something you'd grown to do, a response to Nina and her charm, a charm that flourished your own. So the idea of Nina watching you work that same charm on someone else, it made her jealous, jealous in a way she hasn't ever really known before. But also protective.

"With your eyes like that," she waves a hand at you before returning it to her side. You've never seen Nina Zenik, Queen of Smiles and Charisma, so... unsure.

"I am looking at you the way I always look at you Nina," you tell her.

"You always look at me with such pity?" she asks. She huffs slightly, moving to cross her arms. "I had always thought it was awe in those pretty eyes of yours, but thank you for correcting me."

"Nina," you tell her, closing the space between the two of you to place your hands gently on her arms. "I never look at you with anything less than utter admiration, and complete reverence."

"Really?" she asks, smile creeping into her pout.

"Nina for a while now, I have been nothing short of ridiculously, and rather desperately, irrevocably in love with you," you say, "have I not made that abundantly clear?"

"Well," she shrugs a shoulder gently, "maybe not abundantly."

"That is on me then treasure, and all I can do is beg your forgiveness for such an egregious duplicity."

"You're just trying to distract me with words now," she teases, "keep going it's working for you."

You laugh, her arms move from being crossed to wrapping around your waist, holding you close to her, as she smiles at you, all forgiven, all argument disarmed. "You know this is just a job to me Nina," you tell her, "this will always just be a job, Ketterdam is not my home, and admittedly neither is Ravka, you are my home, and I will always return to you, you are my only loyalty."

[sissytobitch10seconds]

Febuwhump 4: Behave

Fandom: Grishaverse: Six of Crows Summary: To complete their plan, Wylan must go back to live with his father. He's no longer the same scared boy that he once was and that seems to be at his detriment. Warnings: Canon-typical child abuse, child abuse, and Jan Van Eck Word Count: 1,261 Ship(s): Wylan Van Eck/Kaz Brekker/Jesper Fahey/Nina Zenik/Inej Ghafa/Matthias Helvar

Archive link!

He knew what it was to walk the halls he found himself in now.

He had done it for as long as he could remember. His first memory was tottering down the gilded halls decorated with grand paintings and intricate carvings directly embedded in the wooden supports. He had walked up and down them from the rooms where he took his lessons to the room where he slept and then to the room where he took his meals.

Once upon a time, he had derived some sort of comfort from those walks. He had known that they meant a respite from the living, waking Hell that had become his life. When he was eating, he was miserable because his father was there to tell him what a shit job he was doing. When he was studying, he was reminded over and over again that he was nothing more than the useless heir because he couldn’t read. When he was sleeping, he was plagued with a kind of nightmarish loneliness that he wasn’t able to describe no matter how much he tried.

That was not the life that he led any longer. He was not the scorned son, the failed pupil, the lonely boy. He knew what it was like to be accepted and loved now, which made it so much harder to be back.

Wylan clenched his hands at his sides as he reminded himself that he had to behave. Nothing that he did was going to make the situation any better, but there were a lot of things that he could do to make it worse. He was dressed in the fine Mercher clothing that he had been promised as he was growing. He smelled like scented soaps and colognes brought from all over the world. His belly was full of food that had been bought by reputable people and prepared just the way that he had grown to like it. He should have been happy, even if he was being faced with the horrendous nature of his family.

Jan Van Eck stood in front of him, his gaze held in the perfect way that allowed him to look down his nose at his son with the scorn of a man that had never known true love. He was much like Wylan now, but older and more cruel. “I should have known that someone like you would work with Barrel scum such as Kaz Brekker to trick me into taking you back,” he sneered.

“Someone like me, Father?” Wylan asked.

“Someone that’s a stupid, simpering idiot,” he nearly spat the words. It felt like a sting on Wylan’s heart. He soothed it with the reminder of what Jesper had said to him after he had discovered Wylan’s inability to read. He simply had a disability the same way that Kaz did, only in his mind. He wasn’t an idiot because he had been born to a world that cared not for people like him, he was intelligent in many other ways. He had to keep those words in his mind and not let them come out of his mouth so that he could keep up the rouse. Kaz was depending on him.

Jan didn’t seem deterred by the way his son took in a sharp breath and bowed his head. He continued on like he had seen and heard nothing, “You made it so that I had to reaffirm that you were still alive with the Counsel. You’re going to be of age soon and they’re going to question why you’re not out in society with me. They know how important it was for me to get an heir since they all grew up with me. I can’t hide you away or send you to some music school in Belendt. I have to bring the defective, stupid moron with me to meetings and pretend to be proud of him. Are you proud that you’ve won, son?”

“I have no idea what you mean, Father. Surely you must be happy that I’m back, given what a fuss you kicked up with the Merchant Counsel and stadwatch about all of this,” he replied. That was part of the trick, part of the plan that they had concocted. Wylan knew nothing of the Crows or Kuwei or anything other than the carefully fed lies that Kaz had given him before they had met on Velleguluk. He had been taken captive and placed in the bottom of a ship, then tricked so that Kaz could be sure to get his money before he would sell Kuwei to the highest bidder on the market. It was a believable plan to anyone that didn’t actually know Kaz and how secure everything he did was. Wylan genuinely felt blessed to be a part of such a scheme were so much faith was placed in him. He just wished that it didn’t include having to return to his father.

“Did you think that I would accept you back with open arms when you do not even know what I wrote to you in those months that you were gone? You are nothing to me because you are an embarrassment!”

The stinging return. They were words that he had heard almost every night before in his dreams, reminding him that he was unwanted and that he had been thoroughly replaced. He knew that his father would want nothing to do with him after all the work that he had done to make sure that Wylan was long gone by the time his new son was born. He had known that before he ever stepped foot back into the place that he had called home when he was a child. He was aware of the scorn and disdain that he had been treated with while he was growing.

He knew about all of it, and yet it was still coming back to bite him. He could already feel the dark cloud of disappointment and shame washing over him. It was consuming every other thought that he had kept in his mind so that he was regressing back to the man that he had been before he left. He knew that he was more than what his father said that he wasn’t, he knew that he had worth outside of what he could deliver to other people. Jesper had assured him as much during the long nights in the crypt. Yet, being back in the halls he had wandered as a ghost and a hindrance for so long was already bringing back so many memories. Having his own father reaffirm how unwanted and uncared for he was made it all the worse.

His heart hung heavy down with his stomach, which made the food there sour. He could feel the bile creeping up in the back of his throat as his thoughts began to repeat every word that had been snapped at him since he had returned home. No one was happy that he was back, that they had to waste good money on him and his deficit. 

Keeping the thoughts and feelings that were threatening to rise to the surface down inside of him felt like keeping a lit bomb in his hand. He needed to get them out or they were going to kill him like poison. Sometimes, one had to let the poison consume them so that they could come out stronger, though. Wylan was going to let himself succumb to this poison even if it killed him because it would save so many more.

“You’re right, Father.”

[seidenbros]

We're Falling Like the Stars

Pairing: Wylan van Eck x Jesper Fahey Summary: “One day, I’m gonna take my time with you and spoil you rotten. But I fear that I don’t have the patience today.” “Good. Neither do I.” Wylan let out a chuckle that made Jesper feel all warm and fuzzy in addition to the arousal coursing through his veins already. Being able to be like this, joke a little in a heated situation, was so important to him, and to Wylan as well as it seemed. “Oh, so you want me to hurry up?” “Yes, please” or Wylan and Jesper spent their first night together at Jesper's place and take things further. Word count: 4.735 Warning/Tags: POV Jesper Fahey, porn with feelings, lots of kissing, anal fingering, anal sex, blushing Wylan, teasing,safer sex, consent is very important to them, impatient Wylan, I can read to him A/N: I haven't published smut in well over a year I think, but this time, I had two lovely people from twitter beta read and give me their opinion beforehand, so a special thank you goes out to them. While this is kind of an extra chapter to You're All I Wanna Breathe, it can totally be read as a standalone since all the relevant information should be there 💚 Read on AO3

It was cold on this December night when Jesper and Wylan walked back to Jesper’s flat after the concert. Up until a couple of days ago, it had been a bit difficult between them. After Wylan had lied to him and run away only to turn his phone off and not getting and hence reacting to any of Jesper’s messages, Nina had been the one to help them talk about everything with giving Jesper the key to the bakery. Because he hadn’t wanted to meet Jesper, he’d slept during the day and worked in the middle of the night, since he hadn’t been able to sleep then anyway. That step towards Wylan had been just the right thing, and they’d finally talked. Wylan had confided in Jesper, had told him why he’d run - because he’d been so ashamed of his dyslexia. Something that had been ingrained in him by his father, who’d always talked down on him, had told him how useless he was. Jesper was nothing like his father, and deep down Wylan had known that. That night had proven it to him once again, when Jesper had told him that nothing had changed between them. That he was the person he’d fallen for, no matter what. Luckily, they’d gotten the misunderstandings out of the way, and Jesper now knew why Wylan had lied to him about reading the book. It was nothing that would ever stand between them, because like Jesper had told him, he would read to him whatever he wanted to hear. And so, he’d been able to hand him the book once more so that Wylan had been able to find the concert tickets as well as the question whether he wanted to go with Jesper or not.

During the concert, both of them had needed to be close to each other, holding hands, holding each other with Jesper’s hand on Wylan’s stomach. With Wylan, everything was different, and so Jesper had more than enjoyed being there with him, being this close, the heat of his body seeping into his fingertips that were laying on his stomach. They were both sweating, but he didn’t mind. The curls at the nape of Wylan’s neck were showing even more once they’d gotten a little damp, and he hadn’t been able to resist leaning down to place a kiss right there. Wylan was always a vision, but like this, letting loose, enjoying himself with Jesper, dancing to the music with him, he’d looked even more gorgeous.They’d shared kisses every now and then, had even swayed to the music, and when Jesper had asked Wylan if he wanted to spend the night at his place, his answer had made his heart beat faster. So far, Jesper had been to Wylan’s apartment a few times, and they’d fallen asleep together, enjoying the closeness and being able to sleep through the night without a problem, but nothing more had happened. They’d cuddled, touched each other’s skin, but neither of them had initiated anything. He had no idea what tonight had in store for them, but no matter what happened or didn’t happen, he’d enjoy it, because he got to spend that time with Wylan. And he had to admit, he was a bit nervous to show Wylan around his rather small flat - especially compared to Wylan’s place that was really spacious - and his heart leaped a little in his chest when they walked up the stairs so that he could let them in.

Jesper helped Wylan out of his coat, and put both of their coats away before he took off his shoes once they were inside. Wylan did the same before taking a look around. Jesper had to admit that he was a bit nervous, because it really was small, a bit cluttered, but at least, he’d kept the place tidy - because he’d hoped to show it to Wylan today, or tomorrow, or whenever.

“It’s really nice, Jes, very cosy.” Wylan turned around, smiling up at him, before taking his hand in his own. “I love the colours, they’re very you.”

“I’m glad you think so.” Jesper curled his arm around his middle, holding him like this while still holding his hand. “Ready for bed just yet? Or do you want another drink or something? We could also keep on reading.” After finishing Stardust , they’d chosen the next book, and Jesper really enjoyed reading to him. Though after the first book, he hadn’t brought their names into the stories again.

“Bed sounds good, but I’m not quite ready to sleep just yet.” Wylan rose up a little to be able to kiss his cheek, his jaw, making Jesper sigh in pleasure at the kisses, his heart kicking in his chest at what he was hopefully implying.

“Oh?” He ran his palm down his back along his spine. “Whatever you want, darling.”

“There’s just one thing right now. You.” Wylan grazed his teeth along his neck down to his collarbone that was peeking out a little where his buttons were undone. Oh, he was already driving him a bit wild with that. Jesper’s fingers flexed against Wylan’s back, but he slowly started walking backwards to lead him to the bedroom.

“That’s a good thing, because that’s the only thing on my mind as well. You.” He groaned when Wylan started to suck softly on the delicate skin over his collarbone, not expecting him to be so forward, but he really liked that. His own hand slid down from his back to his behind, giving it a gentle squeeze, and the reaction he received from Wylan, that intake of breath, the fingers that dug into his side, was absolutely perfect.

Jesper led them safely to the bed and turned them around so that he could cup the back of Wylan’s head, and gently lay him down on the bed like this. He pulled back just to look at him for a moment.

“Do you have any idea, just how beautiful you are?” Jesper shook his head smiling, because he managed to take his breath away time and time again. As if on cue, Wylan’s cheeks turned pink at the compliment, and he lifted both his hands to cover his face with them. Jesper seized that moment to grab his wrists and lean down to kiss him. He placed his right knee between Wylan’s thighs, the left one on the outside of his thigh, just kissing him soft and sweet like this for a moment. When Jesper let go of his wrists, Wylan immediately cupped his cheek with his left hand, trailed the other hand over his shoulder, to his chest so that he could start unbuttoning his shirt further.

“Are you sure about this?” Jesper asked, nipping on his bottom lip, before he kissed slowly over his cheek to his jaw. He had to make sure, make Wylan understand that he could always say no , no matter the situation.

“Absolutely,” Wylan said, followed by a moan when Jesper flicked his tongue against the spot right below his ear.

“Good. But we can always stop. Just say the word.” Not that he wanted to stop, not with how good Wylan’s fingers against his skin felt, how he tasted and sounded, but he never wanted to push him in any kind of way or direction.

“I know. But I don’t want to stop.” Wylan unbuttoned the rest of his shirt, let his fingernails rake over his stomach, up to his chest. “I want you, Jes.”

Jesper pushed himself up onto his knees and took off the unbuttoned shirt, eyes fixed on Wylan, who looked almost ethereal against his dark sheets. His hair standing up in all the right places, his chest rising and falling with slightly laboured breathing. Oh, he really wanted to ruin him for every other man, because he was pretty sure that Wylan had already done that with him.

“I want you, too. So much.”

Holding himself up with one arm so he didn’t crush him, Jesper leaned down to kiss his lips just once before he kissed his neck, his throat, wandering further down while he unbuttoned Wylan’s shirt, kissing all of that delicious skin he was laying bare. Wylan’s fingers touched his shoulders, stroked down his back, making Jesper sigh in pleasure at the goosebumps that spread all over his skin like that. He pulled the shirt from where it was tucked into Wylan’s jeans, opening the rest of the buttons, his lips working their way further down.

“One day,” he started, placing an open mouthed kiss right below his navel before lifting his head to look up at him. “I’m gonna take my time with you and spoil you rotten. But I fear that I don’t have the patience today.”

“Good. Neither do I.” Wylan let out a chuckle that made Jesper feel all warm and fuzzy in addition to the arousal coursing through his veins already. Being able to be like this, joke a little in a heated situation, was so important to him, and to Wylan as well as it seemed.

“Oh, so you want me to hurry up?” Jesper teased gently, sliding his knee up a little, pressing against his crotch, earning a whimper from Wylan that made him in turn take a deep breath, while he watched Wylan push himself up a bit so he could take off his shirt and throw it aside. What Jesper didn’t expect was that Wylan pulled him close with a hand against the back of his neck to kiss him. And it wasn’t a soft or a chaste kiss. It was carnal and deep, and the way Wylan licked into his mouth, chasing his tongue, made him moan into that kiss.

“Yes, please,” Wylan mumbled against his lips once he pulled back and lay back down against the mattress. Jesper really enjoyed that kind of boldness, and that little please definitely had its effect on him.

“As you wish.” He would have loved to tease him more, and maybe he would, but right now, he just wanted to get Wylan out of his clothes, have him fully naked spread out against his sheets. And so, he leaned down again, nipped at Wylan’s hip while his fingers opened the button and fly on his jeans. He didn’t waste time to push his hand between his jeans and boxers, pressing his palm against this length, finding him already semi-hard, which was the same state that he was in. The moan that came over Wylan’s lips was music to his ears, and so he kept his hand where it was, mapping him out like that, stroking him as best as he could through the fabric of his boxers. He couldn’t resist and sucked a little mark into the soft skin on his lower abdomen. A place where only the two of them would see it. It was possessive in a way, but that was what Wylan brought out in him. Wylan, whose hips bucked up against his touch, seeking more friction.

“Please… take it off,” Wylan said as he looked down at Jesper, his nails grazing over his shoulder, whatever he could reach.

“Honestly, you make it hard for me to tease you like this.” Jesper breathed through gritted teeth, because he really wanted to tease him a little, rile him up like this, but when he asked, nearly pleaded like this, he really couldn’t drag this out.

“I’d rather make something else hard.” Wylan had to chuckle at his own bad pun, but Jesper showed him how successful he had already been, by pressing his crotch down against his thigh, rubbing up against him a little, because he needed at least a little relief. He couldn’t stop himself from moaning at the feeling - and he didn’t even want to, because he wanted Wylan to know how he made him feel.

“Already did that,” he hummed against Wylan’s skin, pressing another kiss against his abdomen, before he pushed himself up onto his knees again, looking down at Wylan. He pushed his fingers beneath his jeans and boxers at his hips and carefully pulled both down at the same time. He had to step off the bed to really get both off his body, taking the socks right with them. His heart kicked against his chest, when he slowly raked his eyes over his body, starting at his legs, his hips, to his middle, where his length lay hot and heavy against his stomach.Jesper licked his lips when he looked further up, following the constellation of freckles on his stomach to his chest. They looked like fine dust covering him, begging for Jesper to place his hands and lips right there, and he would. For now, he found Wylan’s gaze.

Jesper had always been confident in the way he looked, and right now, he was basking in the way Wylan looked at him. It was the same way, Jesper had just looked at him. He held his breath for a moment as he almost felt Wylan’s eyes wander down along his chest, his stomach, and when it dropped further, Jesper opened his belt, realising that Wylan’s eyes stayed focused right there, just like he’d hoped and kind of expected. He didn’t rush it, but he didn’t take it slow eitherl, when he opened his button and fly as well, shuddering a little in relief, because it was getting a bit tight in there. He allowed himself to breathe again when he pushed his pants along with his boxers down, stepped out of them and pushed his socks off with his feet. He wasn’t sure, but he thought he’d heard another whimper from Wylan. When their eyes met again, Wylan reached out his hands to Jesper, and he followed this invitation immediately.

When he crawled back onto the bed, he held himself up on his knees and his right hand. Wylan pulled him closer again to kiss him, and it was something neither of them could ever get enough of. He had to pull back, though, so he could look what he was doing as he reached out his left hand to open the drawer in the bedside table. Wylan seized that moment to attach his lips to Jesper’s throat, distracting him with that a little, because it felt so good. Slowly, Wylan kissed his way down his throat to his chest, his fingers stroking gently over his sides, landing on his hips to give them a gentle squeeze. Oh, he must have known how crazy he was driving Jesper with this. His fingertips brushed the little bottle, but he couldn’t grab it, because he was too uncoordinated - thanks to Wylan who flicked his tongue against his left nipple, making him moan in the process.

“You steal all my concentration with that,” he admitted a bit breathlessly, making Wylan pull back just slightly, but it gave him enough time to get the bottle and two of the square packages out of the drawer.

“I would say I’m sorry, but… No, I’m not. You started the teasing after all.” Jesper could feel Wylan’s smile against his skin before he sucked his nipple between his lips, making Jesper drop what he had just grabbed next to the pillow.

“Yeah.” It wasn’t very eloquent, but the only thing that came over his lips right now. His fingers raked through Wylan’s hair, just enjoying the moment, the way Wylan kissed and touched his body, driving him even more out of his mind than he already was. He’d slept with his fair share of people, but this was still different, and he knew why. Because he felt so much for Wylan that he didn’t want to say out loud right now, but it showed in the way they treated each other.

Carefully he grabbed Wylan’s hair, not wanting to hurt him, but he had to pull him back a little. He looked in his eyes for a moment, before he leaned down to kiss him again. A soft nip to Wylan’s bottom lip followed, before he kissed him properly once more. The way Wylan’s nails raked over his back, made Jesper’s hips twitch forward, and he knew that he had to hurry with certain things right now. Still he kept on kissing Wylan as he made quick work of the first condom to roll it down his own length before he took the other wrapper. Now, he pulled back from Wylan, because he wanted to look at him. Tearing the wrapper and pulling the condom out of it, he kept looking at Wylan, who licked his lips. All these little things he did were driving Jesper mad with want and need. So yes, maybe, his hands were a bit shaky, when he used them to carefully roll the condom down Wylan’s length, watching his every reaction, the way his lips parted in a soft moan. Wylan, who was getting impatient as well as it seemed, pushed his hips up and into Jesper’s grip, who immediately followed and started stroking him.

“You should see yourself,” Jesper mumbled, letting his eyes trail over him, stopping right where he was touching him, at the little movements of Wylan’s hips that made his blood run hot once again, already imagining other things with him.

“I’d rather look at you,” Wylan muttered, followed by a moan, his hands reaching out to stroke over his chest and down over his abdomen until he could curl his fingers around Jesper’s cock and mimic his touch. Jesper groaned deeply, before he dove down to kiss Wylan. He needed that kiss to ground himself at least a little bit, because this kind of touch was almost too much for him. Having his fair share of experience with other people, hadn’t prepared him for being with Wylan, though. Because of the way he felt for him, the spot that Wylan already had in his heart, everything felt heightened.

“Stop,” Jesper breathed after a moment when their lips parted, still hovering close to him like this. Wylan pulled back his hands, looking up at Jesper with wide eyes.

“Sorry, did I-”

“No! No, that’s not it.” Jesper stole a quick kiss from his lips, his own hand slowly stroking along his side and his hip. “Quite the opposite. It’s too good, and I don’t want it to be over that quick.”

“Oh.” Wylan blushed at his words before he started to smile again. He kissed Jesper once more, rubbing his thumbs over his nipples, because that was something he could do right now.

Jesper gently pulled on his bottom lip with his teeth, releasing it with a grin before he kissed over Wylan’s jaw, down his neck, nipping at the delicate skin. All the little sounds he received were music to his ears, and so he kept going. When he reached for the little bottle, Wylan’s legs fell open even further, anticipating what was going to happen and it showed once more, how much both of them wanted this.

Jesper revelled in this display of trust, moaning quietly at the way Wylan touched him, nails scratching a bit over his chest, but Jesper liked it that way. He pressed open-mouthed kisses all the way down to his stomach again, over the crease to his thigh, while he opened the bottle of lube to pour a bit of it onto his fingers. He wanted to ask Wylan if he was alright, or if he wanted to stop, but the way he reacted, reached out his hand to stroke over Jesper’s hair, and pushed his hips a little forward, showed him how much he wanted this. That alone made Jesper groan against Wylan’s skin, pressing his lips against his thigh to muffle the sounds.

“Don’t! Let me hear you,” Wylan said, looking down at him, and Jesper felt his heart kick against his chest. This wasn’t just intimate in a physical way, but on an emotional level as well.

“As you wish, darling.” He understood that, because he definitely enjoyed hearing Wylan as well, every little sound he made, and he wanted to hear so much more of that.

Jesper was careful when he pushed his fingers between them, stroked the lubed up ones over his perineum, further down to tease him a little like that, circling around his hidden place, adding a bit of pressure. The way Wylan’s fingers gripped his hair made him moan in unison with him.

“Jes… please,” Wylan nearly begged him, and Jesper gave in, didn’t want to tease him any longer, so he slowly pushed one finger inside. Wylan tensed for the shortest moment, but quickly relaxed again.

“Okay?” Jesper hummed the question against his skin as he placed kisses onto his stomach again. Wylan answered him with a nod, with his fingers that stroked ever so gently over Jesper’s cheek before they touched his shoulder again. Jesper started moving his finger inside him, taking his time, while his own arousal was urging him to hurry up, needing some relief, but he wanted to make this so good for Wylan - and himself in turn as well.

Just as he pulled his finger back to replace it with two, he pressed his tongue against the underside of Wylan’s cock, tearing a deep groan from him that made Jesper shiver in turn. He knew he was just teasing Wylan with this, but it was probably enough already. Pressing his own hips down against the mattress, he created some friction for himself, just so he didn’t do anything rash, because he still wanted and needed to prepare Wylan a little more.

“Jes,” Wylan moaned when Jesper entered him with three fingers, preparing him properly, because he didn’t want to hurt him in any kind of way. Not now, not ever. Wylan placed his hand against his nape and directed him up again so he could kiss him. Tongues entangled, Jesper rutted against the mattress, before they had to break apart.

“Please… I need to feel you.” Wylan nipped on his bottom lip, let the instep of his left foot stroke up along the back of Jesper’s thigh, before he wrapped his leg around him to pull him closer.

“Yes… Saints, you’re driving me crazy, you know that?” Jesper said with a breathless laugh, kissing his cheek, before he pushed himself up a little again.

“You do the same to me.” Wylan’s palms stroked over his upper arms, his shoulders, whatever he could reach right now, while Jesper reached for the bottle again to pour some lube on his own length, stroking himself to coat himself properly. Grabbing himself by the base, he positioned himself, and, eyes trained on Wylan’s face, he slowly breached him, pushed carefully deeper, taking his time, and in turn giving Wylan time to adjust to him. Once he was buried deep inside him, he leaned down to kiss him. Both legs now wrapped around Jesper’s waist, Wylan kissed him with such fervour that it knocked the air out of his lungs.  Even more so when Wylan pushed more against him, trying to move his hips to get Jesper to move.

“Impatient, are we?” Jesper murmured against Wylan’s lips, the smile evident in his tone.

“Just because you’re a tease,” Wylan retorted, framing his face with both hands to kiss him soundly once more.

“Can’t help it with you.” Because Wylan’s reactions were everything to him. But they both needed that now, their lust already built up so high, that it wouldn’t take either of them long tonight.

Jesper slowly pulled his hips back, before he pushed back in, taking his time, finding a slow, languid rhythm at first. They shared kisses, his right hand found Wylan’s hip to hold onto him, needing this to ground himself in a way.

“Oh… fuck! Jesper.” Wylan groaned when Jesper picked up his pace, started thrusting into him. He was so surprised to hear that kind of word from soft-spoken, sweet Wylan. And turned on. It was such a contrast to his usual self that Jesper groaned lewdly.

He already felt himself get closer and closer, everything so perfect with Wylan, who tightened his legs around him for a moment, drawing another moan from his lips like this. Jesper grabbed his hip a little tighter, before letting go of it, his fingers stroking over his hipbone, his stomach, until he could wrap his fingers around Wylan’s cock and stroke him in time with his thrusts. The sound Wylan made at the first touch made Jesper’s head spin. He couldn’t really describe it, but it definitely had its effect on him.

Wylan pulled him in for a kiss, that wasn’t refined at all. It was sloppy, but that was what both of them needed right now apparently, getting closer and closer to the edge. But Jesper had one goal in mind, he wanted Wylan to come first, wanted to watch him like this.

“Jes,” Wylan managed to say breathlessly, his fingers trailing down Jesper’s arm, nails digging slightly into his forearm. “Close!”

“Me too.” Jesper kept his thrusts up like that, angling his hip a little differently, twisting his wrists while he stroked him, rubbing his thumb over that sensitive spot, which always drove him wild and apparently, it did the same to Wylan. “Go on, darling… come for me.”

It didn’t take more than that for Wylan to let go, moaning Jesper’s name. His fingers scratched slightly along Jesper’s arm, but he didn’t even feel it, so caught in the vision that was one Wylan van Eck below him in the throes of passion.

It took Jesper only three, four more thrusts, to topple over the edge as well, groaning deep within his chest at the intense feeling. He was careful not to crush Wylan beneath him when he sank down, still holding him up on his forearm - the one Wylan hadn’t scratched. His head was still spinning as he tried to regulate his breathing. Carefully, he pulled out, peppering kisses over Wylan’s shoulder, who was stroking his fingertips along Jesper’s back, his legs around him gone slack, but they were still there, holding him close.

After a moment they’d both needed to come down, Jesper raised his head to look at Wylan. If he’d thought him beautiful earlier, he didn’t have any words to describe him right now. Hair a complete mess, but he really liked that look on him, cheeks and chest flushed, making his freckles stand out even more, lips a little swollen from all the kisses they’d shared. A true vision.

He moved his arm on which he’d put his weight so that he could stroke his fingertips over Wylan’s cheek and through his hair, leaning down to kiss his lips, before he pushed himself up, wrapped the other arm around Wylan’s waist to pull him with him as he lay down on his side. He kept the arm wrapped around him, using the other hand to stroke all over his back, holding him close to his body, basking in their afterglow for a while.

“How are you feeling?” Jesper asked quietly, tracing his fingers up along his spine until he reached the back of his head, where he gently rubbed the pads of his fingers over his scalp. Wylan gave the faintest moan because it felt so good.

“Wonderful… great… amazing…” Wylan cupped his cheek, rubbing his thumb over it as his smile widened even more. “You?”

“I think that sums it up rather well.'' He kissed the corner of Wylan’s mouth, his cheek, and then he hugged him close for a moment. “What do you say… to a quick shower? And then we can cuddle up in bed again, read a chapter and go to sleep?” They didn’t have to, but Jesper had really enjoyed reading to Wylan in the evenings, and when they hadn’t been together, he’d read a chapter to him on the phone. By now, it was kind of a tradition for them.

“That sounds like the perfect plan.” Wylan cupped his cheek and kissed him once more. “Five more minutes, then we can get up.”

When Wylan buried his face in the crook of Jesper’s neck, he knew that he would give him whatever he wanted. He couldn’t stop himself from smiling, his eyes closed, because he had no idea when anyone had ever made him as happy as Wylan did.

[zaritarazi]

onwards (six of crows red dead redemption franchise au)

There’s a suspicious lull, a rare window in the time they have to finish their meal before nightfall, when business really begins. “And what about the man that’s been following you?”

Jesper points to himself, muscle-memory or habit, and when Inej shakes her head, his sort of general nonchalance turns quickly. He looks to Kaz with “You’re being followed?” 

It’s the nonresponse that makes the situation worse, Kaz pointedly ignoring the way the room’s turn to pin the light on him as he pretends to finish his meal.

“By-” Jesper offers, to fill the space. “Not by anyone important, right? Not a lawman. Right?” He tilts his head forward, a gesture that’s supposed to goad Kaz into making the next sentence. “You wouldn’t just-”

And maybe Kaz had only kept the pretense of his meal so he could toss down his fork, a gesture that makes Wylan jump. “I am being… pestered,” Kaz says, and he would shoot Wylan some kind of look of sympathy, but he first has to glare at Inej. 

It's not entirely shocking, how intensely she returns it.

“An accountant,” Kaz says, looking to his lap, tossing his napkin on his plate. “And mostly just a nuisance.”

The light above them glows too brightly, filament not spaced out quite right, and it holds the silence of the room trying to gauge where Kaz has hidden the half-truth in his statement. 

That’s the fun thing about Kaz. The lie might not be there yet- It might not come until later. He likes to hide it, likes to watch everyone sift for the story first.

“An accountant?” Nina asks. “Like a tax man?”

“A tax-man is just another word for Pinkerton,” Kaz says.

“So what, then,” Jesper says. “Like… a debt collector?”

“Who’s going to collect on Kaz?” Wylan asks. 

Kaz validates him with an errant point of his index finger. “And who would know we’re stranded up here?”

“That is a great question,” Nina says. “So what’s the answer, Kasimir?”

“You’re all so dense,” he snaps. “No one knows we’re here. I’m being lightly tailed, sometimes, by a local. Someone from around here.”

“Matthias,” Inej says. “Can’t you do what makes you useful?”

Matthias pulls his attention from the window and the darkening night sky. “What?”

“Inej wants you to beat up an accountant,” Nina says.

“Any one of us could beat up an accountant,” Inej says. “You know the area.”

“You’d like me to go through every accountant…” Matthias says. “In Fjedra?”

“I’ll draw him, if Kaz describes him,” Wylan says.

“Inej can describe him,” Kaz says, holding out his hand to her, a mockery of an offering. “Since she’s been paying such close attention.”

“I haven’t lived in these mountains since I was ten years old,” Matthias says. “How am I going to know?”

“Maybe he’s from the capital,” Jesper says.

“Matthias isn’t good with faces,” Nina says. “His memory lapses from time to time.”

“I remember everything that’s ever happened to me,” Matthias says. “What I choose to disclose-”

“Are you two fighting, still?” Jesper says. “I wasn’t sure if you were passing it off to the other two, or if you’d made up- I’ve seen him drag himself to your room right before the sun rises, but-”

“I don’t know,” Matthias says. “Nina prefers to surprise me.”

“Oh, we’re talking about surprises?” Nina says.

“He’s tall,” Inej interrupts, putting her hand down on the table, looming beside Kaz. “He wears a very fine suit. Whoever he is, he’s very rich.”

“Accountants are rich,” Kaz says. 

“You should’ve been an accountant, then,” Inej grouses. 

“I’m well aware, Inej dear,” Kaz says. “But how could I deny you the pleasure of the backwater mountains of this frozen, horrible country?”

“This is a beautiful country,” Matthias seethes. “But… there are not many rich men. Not many who are very rich, I mean.”

“I don’t know how you’d like me to draw this,” Wylan says. “What kind of suit is it? Did he have a vest, or just a jacket? Was he wearing a tie? Black? Navy? What’s the twill? Single or double breasted?”

“He looked like he worked at a funeral parlor,” Inej says.

Kaz shrugs. “Maybe he has two jobs.”

[bravecompanynews]

Everton vs Bournemouth LIVE commentary: Dyche’s Toffees in search of much-needed points to kick-start campaign – kick-off time, team news and how to follow - Journal Important Online - #GLOBAL https://www.merchant-business.com/everton-vs-bournemouth-live-commentary-dyches-toffees-in-search-of-much-needed-points-to-kick-start-campaign-kick-off-time-team-news-and-how-to-follow/?feed_id=181037&_unique_id=66cf2406d7e5b Pointless Everton will be desperate to get their season up and running against Bournemouth this Saturday.The Toffees head into this game off the back of a 4-0 drubbing away to Tottenham last time out which saw more questions asked about Sean Dyche’s future at the club.3Everton sit bottom of the table having shipped in seven goals alreadyCredit: AFPA stellar Spurs side breezed past Dyche’s men who will want to finally get off the mark this weekend.Everton did claim a much-needed morale boost in the Carabao Cup on Tuesday, easing to a 3-0 win over Doncaster Rovers, and they will need to step it up again against Bournemouth.The Cherries earned a hard-fought point at home to Newcastle last weekend, but it could’ve been more if it wasn’t for a late VAR intervention.READ MORE ON EVERTONDango Ouattara’s stoppage-time header was chalked off, much to the relief of Eddie Howe, and controversy continues to surround the decision days later.Google News Everton vs Bournemouth: Sticky Toffees turn to academyIt’s been an injury-stricken start to the 2024/25 campaign for Everton, meaning only 14 senior team players were fit to travel to North London on Saturday.However, this represented an opportunity for academy prospects Roman Dixon, Harrison Armstrong and Jenson Metcalfe, who all featured in Sean Dyche’s 23-man squad for the first time.Dixon, who was covering for veteran Seamus Coleman at right-back, was Everton’s youngest player to start in the Premier League since Jarrad Branthwaite back in December 2021.Google News Most read in FootballThe 19-year-old was also the second-youngest to begin in a Premier League game under Dyche behind Dwight McNeil, who he started alongside in Saturday’s defeat.Bournemouth aren’t without their fair share of talented youngsters either – 21-year-old Alex Scott came off the bench for Andoni Iraola’s side against Newcastle while ex-Juventus teenager Dean Huijsen was an unused substitute.3Everton have lost both games without scoring so far this seasonCredit: GettyGoogle News Everton vs AFC Bournemouth: Date and how to followThis Premier League game is set to take place on Saturday, August 31.Kick-off at Goodison Park is scheduled for 3pm.talkSPORT 2 will have live coverage from Merseyside, with Chris Latchem serving as your presenter.Commentary will then come from Ian Danter and former Arsenal winger Perry Groves.To tune in to talkSPORT 2 through the website, click HERE for the live stream.You can also listen via the talkSPORT app, on DAB digital radio, through your smart speaker and on 1089 or 1053 AM.The BIGGEST questions for every Premier League team ahead of the new Premier League season Google News Everton vs Bournemouth: Team newsThe hosts will look to integrate new signings Jesper Lindstrom and Jake O’Brien for the first time in front of the Goodison faithful.Meanwhile, midfielder Tim Iroegbunam has already had a taste of Premier League action, but could partner Idrissa Gueye once again as James Garner remains a doubt.Former Marseille and Sheffield United trickster Iliman Ndiaye could be handed a first start under Dyche after featuring in N17 last week.As for Bournemouth, Brazilian marksman Evanilson will likely continue up front, as Enes Unal needs to be assessed.Tyler Adams is ruled out of the trip to Merseyside, with the midfielder looking to return to action in mid-October.This could mean that Iraola sticks with the duo of Lewis Cook and Ryan Christie, or could turn to youngster Scott from the start.3Bournemouth boss Andoni Iraola was left furious after their winner against Newcastle was

ruled outCredit: AFPGoogle News Everton vs Bournemouth: What has been said?Dyche says that his side are going to have to improve on their focus levels after last week’s destruction at Spurs.He said: “You can’t gift teams of this calibre, you make bad decisions if you’re not focused, not concentrating.“Two back-to-back tough games. We had two mistakes last week, one mistake this week.Read More on talkSPORT“Tottenham are a team of goalscorers, all over the pitch. We didn’t have enough. We are stretched but that is no excuse. I expect a lot from these players, but there are a lot of challenges here.“We are working within the guidelines that we can. We expect more. We have been written off many times before and we will be written off again. We have come through it before.”Premier League Match Odds with talkSPORT BETSaturday, August 31Sunday, September 1*odds subject to change, 18+ gambleaware.orgOffer of the day – Place a £10 bet on the PL and get £30 in free bets – CLAIM HERE18+ New customers only. Opt in & bet £10+ via mobile on any football market at 2.00+ odds within 7 days. No Cash out. Get 6x £5 Free Bets on selected markets. Free bets expire in 7 days. Card payments & Apple Pay only. T&Cs apply. GambleAware.org | Please gamble responsibly“Pointless Everton will be desperate to get their season up and running against Bournemouth this Saturday. The Toffees head into this game off the back of a 4-0 drubbing away…”Source Link: https://talksport.com/football/2023193/everton-vs-bournemouth-live-commentary-score-time-team-news/ http://109.70.148.72/~merchant29/6network/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/g74125fe3b8cdbee62f61deebc0e8bdf7138688c159b0e3d9f1203941eea47cd8b856b65f862c8a093ec8592b9b42708502a.jpeg BLOGGER - #GLOBAL

[jpg-of-dorian-slay]

hiiii helloooo basil my lovely <3 i'm sorry 2 hear youre not feeling too well -- sending over a basket full of dvds + the most delicious soup + blankets etc <3<3<3 ALSO!!! would looove 2 hear about jesper!!!! my sister has been once again telling me abt her fav six of crows characters + feel as though i need 2 become more well versed in this particular character hehehe :)) okay MWAH xx

MWAH !! HELLO THEA MY LOVE <3 <3 <3 cherishing the dvds+soup+blankets and also this ask because asking about jesper and/or any of the crows is truly the way to my heart <3 also your sister has wonderful choice in characters lmao

favorite thing about them

he cares so much. like he is so so lovely he cares so deeply about all of his friends even when they sometimes don't deserve it (looking at you, kaz) and even when he doesn't care for himself. i think it's an under looked aspect of his character honestly.

least favorite thing about them

his self destructive tendancies, like that quote at the start of chapter 11 or 12 ish where it goes "jesper was always happier when people were shooting at him. if he was focused on not dying, he didn't have time to think about anything else" WHICH IS JUST??? TRAGIC??? i love him so much. like i love it as a character trait but it seriously makes me just ache for him

favorite line

"you're stupid about a lot of things wylan, but you're not stupid" genuinely changed me as a person, i will never be the same.

brOTP

jesper and inej. no question. their relationship is so so so important to meeeee.

OTP

wesper <3 <3 <3 forever and always <3 <3 <3

nOTP

i actually don't think i have one. like in my head jesper will always end up with wylan, but i've read fics about him and kaz and him and other people so i'm not super fussy i don't think.

random headcanon

he likes painting his nails but the paint is always chipped because he's too impatient to wait for them to dry properly.

unpopular opinion

not to be all "ooh no one gets him like i do" but NO ONE GETS HIM LIKE I DO. like that's an exaggeration obviously but occasionally i see the wildest takes about him and i'm just like???? did we read the same book??? some of the traits people give him are NOT genuine things he thinks/beleives if that makes sense, like that is the facade that we as the audience are meant to see past and some of us are missing it.

song i associate with them

i have a whole playlist dedicated to him but the first one that comes to mind is free by florance+the machine. also my body by young the giant

favorite picture of them

this one! it's my phone lockscreen at the moment

[introverting-rn]

absolutely incredible discussion and i’d never quite considered this before! i’d like to add something i’ve seen in my life here:

TRIGGER WARNING: someone with suicidal ideation and self harm, faith talked about regarding Christianity (the person is still alive and well, and there is no church bigotry discussed)

i’m queer and autistic and have been raised in a Christian family, so i always accepted faith without question when i was younger. upon entering high school (age of twelve for australia) i starting meeting queer and neurodivergent friends for the first time and seeing how they were really impacted by this, and in one particular group of friends, i saw a lot of people lose their faith due to the actions of the church. one particular mate, who i shall name Jack, took his personal struggle with faith really hard - he started to struggle with depression and suicidal tendencies during this same time, as his faith had been really important to him, and without it he lost a lot of purpose and understanding in life.

(i’ve been blessed with a very supporting family and have come to reconcile my faith with being queer, which is another story entirely and slightly off topic for now.)

when we were about thirteen, this group of us went on a mini-holiday together. i was under the impression that Jack and I were the only Christians in this group. one night, i went to bed earlier than the others, and when i heard them come inside i pretended to be asleep so that they wouldn’t disturb me. at this time, i overheard their conversation, and realised that they’d stolen beer from the fridge and were drinking. this was absolutely terrifying for me, and i began to panic - we were hours away from my family, in a place i was completely unfamiliar with, and my friends were drinking alcohol. i began to cry as silently as possible, and could do nothing but keep listening as i heard jack ask the others specifically not to tell me.

the next day, i talked to him about it, and to my surprise he looked ashamed. he told me he was struggling with faith and didn’t really believe in God, and for a year or so he was atheist. i continued to be friends with him, saw marks of self harm on his arms, received a message from him late one night as he contemplated suicide, and he stayed in a hospital for a few weeks - i don’t know the details. in the end i found myself drifting away from that group because that feeling of panic kept returning when i was near them, but i continued to be friends with jack.

one night he called me, crying, and said he had found faith again. he had been watching the show the chosen (highly recommend btw) which shows the paths of Jesus and his disciples in an incredibly realistic way, and it humanises all of them so wonderfully instead of leaving Jesus to feel like cardboard like He so often can. he said that realising the disciples were real people let faith feel so much less unattainable, as though his mindset had been that he was unworthy of having faith.

now, i know he’s doing much better and we’re still very close. i know he experimented with underage smoking and drinking while he struggled with everything, which is what makes me think of jesper - losing faith can also be a remarkable loss of identity and trigger difficulties in a lot of ways, and they each looked for solace in something ultimately detrimental to their physical, mental and spiritual health. i also feel that the same path to understanding could belong to jesper: seeing that the saints were people, and that doesn’t mean that he’s just worse than them, it means that all people are offered unconditional love despite our flaws and struggles.

apologies if i’m a bit rambly, as i don’t have the energy to read over this, and thank you for giving me the opportunity to share! i actually didn’t consider how much my friend and jesper could line up, and this is helping me gain a lot of potential new insight into them both.

if anybody wants to talk more about this i would be absolutely ecstatic to communicate w you! the harmony of church and queerness is something i’m very passionate about aha. God bless! <3

I’ve been thinking a lot recently about Jesper Fahey and religion.

Whilst we know that Matthias follows Djel, Inej follows the Saints, Nina was raised with the Saints but is atheist because of her understanding about Grisha, and that Kaz and Wylan adopted atheism based on their childhood experiences, we don’t get a lot of information about how Jesper feels about religion. We know he was raised with the Saints and that when he swears he says “Saints”, as does Nina, where Wylan says “Ghezen”. It’s notable to me that Matthias and Inej either rarely or never invoke a name in vain; I think Inej may say “Saints” in that context the odd time I can’t remember, but I’d argue in that case it’s probably because she isn’t specifically naming them to do so whereas Matthias would have to but I’m working off memory there so please feel free to correct me. But Jesper’s actual relationship with the Saints is arguably quite ambiguous, with no particular passages that point us in either direction. (Show!Jesper is highly implied to be atheistic in season 1 when Inej asks him what he thinks about Alina and he says he doesn’t care whether she’s real or not so long as they get paid, but there isn’t really anything like this in the books to my recollection) I think that might be because he has a far more complex and painful relationship with religion than we see on the surface level, and this has particular links to Nina’s belief that the Saints were possibly real people but were simply powerful Grisha not religious saviours/martyrs.

When Jesper was a child, his father would read him bedtime stories “from his Kaelish book of Saints”. At the same time, Colm was unintentionally damaging Jesper’s view of Grisha power and of himself by forcing him to hide it and telling him “that’s what killed your mother. That’s what took her away from us”. Alongside the self-hatred this cultivates in Jesper, seen mostly in Crooked Kingdom since he’s most open about it in the beautiful, heartbreaking chapter 24, I think it may have also impacted his relationship with religion. To be told as a child that these people are worshipped and valued for the things they could do, the same kind of things he saw his mother do and that he could be capable of, but that his power is a curse and a shameful secret that has to be hidden from the world is so damaging. It effectively raises the question: If it’s different for me than it is for them, what’s wrong with me? Why am I less worthy of love?

When Jesper already had these feelings growing inside him, feelings that went on to massively impact all the relationships in his life (most notably his relationships with Kaz and Wylan but I would also argue his relationship with Inej is affected by this as well) and actively endanger him when he began to try and fill the void he felt with gambling, to emphasise these emotions with something that could have been so beautiful and given him so much comfort by turning it into something that can be used against him by labelling him as less than others is so heartbreaking and honestly painful.

Obviously this is just an interpretation or a theory but this is how I feel about it when I reread, if anyone else has thought about this please feel free to add anything or contradict it with your own interpretation I’d love to read it.

[jeremysknoxes]

i reread soc yesterday and these two pages are just about wylan lmao

[lady-ashfade]

Inside job

Kaz Brekker x Fem!reader x Inej Ghafa

This is a drabble? I think, but it’s really freaking short. And there is hint of romance but nothing actually said, but it’s hinted.

Warnings: Shit writing.

There was only one option, and they knew.

“We can’t get in without some sort of key, or something. Even I know it’s useless to even try to break in without a opening.” Jesper spoke leaning against the table behind him, wylan beside him fiddling with his own shirt buttons.

Kaz knew this job was going to need somone from the inside, The Honeyedpass was not easy to get into. No, he knew the place was well guarded. But still, there was always someway in and luckily he knew exactly what to do.

“That’s why we need someone from the inside, no one gets in or out without someone knowing.” Kaz spoke as the others looked at him puzzled, all excited one. “And who would that be?” Jesper ask with a hint of excitement in his tone.

Inej watched as his gaze feel on her, she knew exactly who he was talking about. A job only she would do because she was no better then the rest of them. But still, this would put her in more danger if anyone were to find out.

“No.” Inej leaned on the table making everyone’s attention snap to her. “There is no one else.” His tone low and stern. “She would be killed without a thought if anyone found out.” The girl stepped closer and glares at him.

“She can handle herself, and we need her to complete this.” They stare into each others eyes to fight for who was right. It was a fight without words or fists, but the others could admit they would be scared if they received the looks.

“I’m sorry but who is “she”?” Jesper interrupted them both to ask the important question. 

The smell of the sea water mixed with dead fish and guts. That was the telling of the docks. The smell she found comforting, when she was off duty she wanted to feel like someone normal. So she helps the fisherman unload the boats, or guts the fish, sell them- Anything really. But she was respected. Her first day she put a man in his place for thinking he could touch her. There were more incidence after but now the people there respected her.

A woman never afraid to spill blood.

The woman grunted as she slammed the heavy box into the rest and took a minute to catch her breath. Then the boards beneath her vibrated with footsteps, the sound of a cane, then the last sign is reflections on the water from the corner of her eye. Her lips curled up into a smirk because there was only one group this could be.

“What a pleasant surprise,” she turned around to faces them, “all the crows coming to see me? Oh, how special I am.” Her voice teasing and fake. She looked at the tall man she knew, his face the same as when she last saw, hardened. “What do I  owe the pleasure?”

“I’ve got a job for you.” She let out a huffed chuckle and crossed her arms. Her gaze leaving him and then finding the beautiful soft ones she remembered, oh how tempting they were. “Wouldn’t be here if you didn’t.” She looked around at each member standing before her.

“We need a way into The Honeyedpass, and there’s only one way in. Despite your little acted of playing fisherman, you work with the wealthy. Get us in, then secure a way out and your actions will be paid for.” Everyone could see the look he was giving her, the one she was giving back.

There was something more.

The way his even hardened expression was softer, his eyes showing a hint of emotion, or the way his lips moved up with a smirk each time he spoke. Then there was inej, her eyes soft and pleading for you. It was clear she cared for you, so much that she didn’t want you to take the job. Her expression could be called “A kicked puppy” look if Jesper had his say.

“What’s the pay?” You stepped closer to the group with a mischievous glint in your eyes and a tone honeyed. Kaz looked at you and titled his head because he knew how you were. No matter the job, no matter who it’s for, friend or strangers, you never did anything for free. And he loved that about you.

“Name your price.”

[nicohischierz]

question...?: nico hischier 

you were the golden girl of the team. everyone thought the devils were crazy for drafting a women so high but you proved all of the wrong. you were taken under the wing of your captain, nico hischier. 

in your rookie year, you stayed with him in his apartment. the wives and girlfriends on the team doted on you every second they could, bring you food and taking you out on girls day trips whenever they could. 

throughout the year you and nico had fallen into a simple routine. when the two of you reached the confides of your apartment there would be no talk of hockey, unless it was important. both of you would celebrate whatever event the other celebrated as well and the christmas tree always went up after thanksgiving. 

to nico you made his days brighter, your smile brightened up a room and your laugh was instilled in his brain. and you looked at nico as if he hung the stars and the moon. his eyes always in your mind and his voice playing on a loop.  

even after your rookie year, you and nico decided to continue living together. he had put your name on the deed and you helped pay for rent. even thought he told you not to worry.  

but despite all the rumours, yours and nico’s relationship was purely innocent. 

that was until the devils halloween party. 

nico, jack, john and mickey had all dressed up as security guards. they had invited you to join their costume but you declined. instead you had been asked by some of the girlfriends to join them in dressing up as winx characters. 

it was night nico and you decided to act on the feelings that dwelled deep inside of you. you would blame it on the alcohol as you danced with the captain all night long, sharing intimate touches here and there. 

it wasn’t until nico pulled you in by your waist did something happen. nico tilted his head down to you as he slowly lifted your chin. he searched your eyes for any signs that you wanted out but when you nodded he slowly placed his lips on yours.  

“finally!” jack exclaimed grabbing the attention for everyone else as they then celebrated you and nico making a move on each other. 

that night you and nico spent every moment entangled with each other. nico explored every inch of your body, praising your body any chance he could. you laid on his chest tracing the tattoo on his left forearm before memorising his face. 

you had thought that what happened between the two of you wouldn’t make things weird. that maybe the two of you could build an actual relationship together. 

but instead when you woke up, nico was out of the apartment. he only arrived once you were in bed and the next morning you caught him just as he was leaving again. 

nico spent the days after your night together with jonas and erik. the two sat and listened as nico explained how the two of you couldn’t be in a relationship as it would ruin your career and as captain he has to put the teams needs before his own. 

you hated how some of the guys were oblivious to the awkward tension between you and nico as they chirped the two of you about your relationship.  

it was now march and the devils had new players in curtis lazar and timo meier. timo was well aware of the situation as he had been debriefed by his fellow swiss friends. 

nate had been introducing the two new players to the dynamic of the team and commented “and that’s y/n. she’s our best player and cap’s favourite,” he added a wink to the last statement. 

whilst the comment was harmless, you had tears welling up in yours eyes as you thought about how nico had told you he was going to stay with jesper or jonas for a little while. 

that was in october.

nico ignored the comment until you got up, plastered a fake smile on your face and excused yourself to the bathroom. it was then that timo mentioned how your eyes were watering as you left. whilst you were gone nico had made the boys stop with the comments unless they wanted additional skates. 

a week later the team was on a road trip and after one of the games nico made his way to your hotel room. when you answered the door nico noticed how your eyes were red and your hair was messy. 

“y/n,” he whispered before pulling you into his arms. 

however, you pulled away from him quickly. you weren’t going to fall for his charm. “can I ask you a question?” your voice was barely audible but nico heard you nonetheless and he nodded.  

“did you ever have someone kiss you in a crowded room and every single one of your friends was making fun of you, but 15 seconds later they were clapping too?” you asked rhetorically. 

nico just nodded. 

“then what did you do?” nico stayed quiet as you continued.

“did you leave her house in the middle of the night?” “did you wish you'd put up more of a fight?” “do you wish you could still touch ...her?”

“It's just a question” you whispered the last part. 

but nico stayed quiet. he didn’t know how to respond, discomfort evident in his eyes but you ignored it. every second he would open his mouth and close it again like a fish but nothing ever came out. 

“what changed nico. why after months of ignoring me are you showing up at my hotel room acting all sympathetic?” you asked, your voice rising slightly. 

in nico’s mind he recalled when he came to the apartment to get something he had left. when he opened the door he was met with your laughter as one of your old teammates were in town. jealousy filled his body as he watched you laugh and dance around with the guy, completely ignoring his presence. as if he hadn’t been doing the same with you. 

nico reached for one of the bottle’s of alcohol in your room as he poured two glasses. one for him and one for you. he knew it was going to be a long night. the captain was quiet as you ranted about how you felt. 

and as the two of you two of you consumed drink after drink nico grew the confidence to explain why he left. he explained how this would look bad for your career as people would speculate the only reason you were on the team was because of nico. 

“what about the girl? the one you posted on your story?” you asked, breaking nico’s rant. it was well known that nico hated using social media so when the purple ring appeared and a photo of a women appeared your heart dropped. 

you were playing with the hem of your sweater, avoiding eye contact with your captain. nico pulled your fingers away from your sweater and intertwined your fingers “are you talking about the picture of my sister?” he asked, a slight tease in his tone. 

heat rushed to your cheeks. nico chuckled, the sound sending butterflies to your stomach. and again like the first night, nico lowered his head to meet yours and slowly lifted your chin.