#look I just miss my space family specifically my mom

[songbirdseung]

hi, neighbor / sim jaeyun

sim jake moved into your neighborhood, right next to your house, specifically. usually, you wouldn't care for it but this time when your mom pushed and dragged you to their house, you had no choice. what's gonna happen when you meet the boy next door? genre strangers to lovers, neighbor au warnings kisses, one sensual joke i think, lmk if i missed anything

Reluctantly, you knock on the door, your mom already hurrying back home with a giggle, throwing you a thumbs up as she leaves you standing at the neighbor's front doorstep. In your hands is a basket of homemade treats, a welcoming gift for the new family next door. You sigh, shifting your weight from one foot to the other.

As soon as you hear the front door unlock, you straighten up and force a smile onto your face, but you're not prepared for the stranger who opens the door.

"Can I help you?"

Your eyes land on a handsome guy with a sweet smile and pretty eyes, and for a moment, you forget how to speak. After what feels like minutes of silence but is really only seconds, you manage to find your voice. "Uh… hi, I'm your neighbor, YN."

He lets out a small grunt of acknowledgment but says nothing more. However, his eyes remain fixed on you, silently judging you from head to toe, taking in every detail.

You clear your throat before continuing, "My mom and I baked some things for you and your family… to welcome you." Your smile stays in place, even in the face of his silence.

He glances down at the basket in your hands, then looks back up at you. After a low hum, he takes the basket, his eyes still on you, yet he remains silent. It feels like you're being scrutinized by a hawk, and you're just small prey.

When he says nothing else after a few seconds, you nod and bid him goodbye. As you turn away, you silently mouth, "What the hell?" and walk back home, your mind repeating the lack of even a simple "thank you."

He watches you walk away before shutting the door, placing the basket on the hallway counter, and disappearing further into the house.

A few days passed without any sign of him. You’d catch glimpses of movement from his house, but he was always coming and going at odd times, slipping in and out like a shadow. It was almost as if he was deliberately avoiding any chance encounters. Up to this point, you still didn’t know his name, and you’d started to wonder if you’d ever see him again, or if your awkward doorstep meeting was going to be the extent of your interaction.

Then, one evening, something changed. You had just finished dinner and settled into the couch, wrapped in a blanket, and half-watching one of your favorite comfort movies. The room was dim, with only the soft glow of the TV lighting up the space. It was a quiet, cozy night—until the sound of a knock on the door broke the stillness.

At first, you were hesitant. Who could it be at this hour? But curiosity got the best of you, so you paused the movie and made your way to the door. As you opened it, there he was—your good-looking but kind of rude neighbor. He stood there, looking a bit uncomfortable, his hands tucked into his pockets.

His expression was difficult to read as he gave you a quick once-over before speaking. “Do you have any sugar to spare? My mom ran out while baking.”

You couldn’t help but think, What is this, the 1920s? Who even asks their neighbors for stuff anymore, especially when you can order anything online? But despite the oddness of the situation, you found yourself smiling politely and nodding. “Sure, give me a second.” You turned and headed to the kitchen, shaking your head a little at the situation.

When you returned with a small bag of sugar, he took it from you, his fingers brushing yours for the briefest moment. He seemed like he wanted to say something more, his eyes flicking to yours and then away again, as if debating whether or not to speak.

“Thanks,” he finally said, his voice low and slightly rough, like he wasn’t used to saying the word. You nodded, telling him it was no problem, but there was an awkward silence that hung between you.

After a beat, he broke it, asking, “How old are you?” There was a subtle change in his tone—softer, almost hesitant, as if he was venturing into unfamiliar territory.

“Uh, I’m 22, born in 2002,” you replied, slightly taken aback by the personal question. He nodded thoughtfully, and you found out that he was only a few months younger than you, which surprised you for some reason. You had pegged him for someone older, more distant.

He cleared his throat, shifting slightly as if gathering the courage to ask his next question. “Are you single?”

You blinked, caught off guard by the directness of it. “I am… why?”

He looked at you, his expression almost disbelieving, as if he was surprised by your answer. “Just curious,” he said with a shrug, his voice casual, as if the question hadn’t carried any real weight. But there was something in his eyes, a flicker of something deeper, that made you wonder if it really was just a casual question.

Before you could respond or ask him anything in return, he turned to leave, his footsteps echoing softly on the porch. You felt a strange urge to stop him, to learn more about this mysterious neighbor who had piqued your curiosity despite his odd behavior.

You quickly stepped out the door and called after him, “Wait, what’s your name?”

He paused, turning back to face you, his expression softening just a little. “It’s Jake,” he said, nodding at you before continuing on his way. There was something different about him this time, a subtle shift in his demeanor. As he walked away, you noticed he seemed more relaxed, less guarded than before.

You stood there for a moment, watching him disappear into the night, your mind racing with questions. Who was this guy, really? And why did he suddenly seem interested in you? As you finally closed the door and returned to your movie, you couldn’t help but feel that this was only the beginning of something much more complicated.

The next few days pass by in a mostly normal routine, but you can’t help but notice that whenever you’re outside in your yard, you occasionally catch Jake looking out his window at you. Like today, for instance. It’s a scorching summer afternoon, the kind where the heat makes the air feel thick with humidity. You’re in the backyard, lounging by the pool, trying to cool off when you suddenly get the distinct feeling that someone is watching you.

You glance up toward Jake’s window, and sure enough, there he is. He’s not even trying to be subtle about it, leaning casually against his windowsill, his eyes locked on you.

When you wave at him, he looks momentarily shocked that you’ve noticed him staring. But after a brief pause, he slowly smiles and raises a hand to wave back.

Minutes tick by, and he’s still there, watching you with an intensity that you can’t quite figure out. It’s only when his older brother walks into the room that the spell is broken.

“You look like a creep, you know that?” his brother says, raising an eyebrow as he glances out the window.

“Oh, like you have any room to talk,” Jake retorts, barely glancing at his brother.

“Seriously, this has been going on for weeks. Why don’t you just go down there and talk to her?” his brother suggests, clearly exasperated.

Jake turns away from the window, his gaze flicking back to you briefly before he faces his brother. He hesitates, clearly embarrassed as he admits quietly, “I don’t… I don’t know how to talk to girls.”

His brother snickers, unable to resist teasing him. “You’ve got to try, man. It’s better than me having to hear you at 3 a.m., whimpering her name while… you know.”

“Wait—” Jake’s face flushes a deep shade of red as he turns to his brother, mortified.

“The walls are thin, young bro,” his brother says with a smirk, clearly enjoying Jake’s discomfort.

Jake runs a hand through his hair, his cheeks burning with shame. “You’re not—you’re not helping,” he mutters, glancing back out the window at you, still by the pool, completely unaware of the conversation happening just a few feet away.

His brother grins mischievously. “You want me to go tell her you jack off to her?” he asks, clearly joking but relishing the way Jake’s eyes widen in horror.

Before Jake can respond, his brother starts heading out of the room and toward the front door, leaving Jake in a state of sheer panic.

Jake bolts after his brother, shouting for him to get back inside as they both dash into the front yard. His heart is pounding, panic rising with each step. He finally catches up, grabbing his brother's arm and yanking him to a stop.

"I'm serious, come back and shut up!" Jake hisses, his cheeks still flushed a deep red, his face a mix of flustered embarrassment and desperation.

His brother smirks, raising an eyebrow at the nickname. "Dang, relax, tomato. I'm joking."

Jake lets out a sigh, feeling a small wave of relief, but it’s short-lived as his brother's smirk widens. "Or am I?"

Jake groans, rolling his eyes in frustration. “You better be, or I’m gonna kill you,” he mutters, but his tone is more resigned than threatening. "Seriously, if you say one word to her, I'll—"

"You'll what?" his brother interrupts, his tone teasing as he leans in closer. "Cry about it? Maybe write a sad poem in your journal?"

Jake scowls, crossing his arms defensively. "You’re such an idiot."

"And yet, I’m the idiot who actually talks to girls instead of just staring at them through windows," his brother shoots back with a smug grin.

Jake rolls his eyes. "I don’t just stare. I was—observing."

"Observing?" His brother laughs. "Is that what we’re calling it now?"

Jake punches his brother lightly on the shoulder. "Shut up. You’re not helping."

"Helping with what? Your creepy little crush?" his brother taunts, dodging another playful jab. "Honestly, Jake, just go talk to her. She clearly doesn’t think you’re a total weirdo. Yet."

Jake groans, rubbing the back of his neck. "I don’t even know what to say."

His brother raises an eyebrow. "How about, ‘Hi, I’m Jake, sorry for being a socially awkward stalker, would you like to go out sometime?’”

Jake glares at him again, but there’s a hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "You really think you’re funny, don’t you?"

His brother grins. "Well, one of us has to be, and it sure isn’t you.”

Jake lets out a frustrated sigh, but there’s a flicker of amusement in his eyes. "You know, sometimes I wonder why I even bother with you."

His brother shrugs, flashing a grin. "Because deep down, you know I’m right. And because you love me, obviously."

Jake shakes his head, but he’s laughing now, the tension from earlier starting to fade. "Yeah, yeah. Whatever helps you sleep at night."

His brother slings an arm around Jake's shoulders, leading him back toward the house. "Come on, let’s go inside before you embarrass yourself even more. But seriously, Jake, just talk to her. She’ll probably like you more than you think."

Jake lets out another sigh, but this time it’s more of a resigned chuckle. "Yeah, we’ll see about that."

As they head back inside, his brother gives him one last nudge. "Just remember, if you need a wingman, I’m available for hire."

Jake snorts. "You’re the last person I’d ask for help. I’d rather figure it out on my own."

His brother laughs, shaking his head. "Suit yourself, but don’t say I didn’t offer."

Jake’s brother notices the lingering embarrassment on Jake’s face and can’t resist taking things a step further. With a mischievous grin, he takes a step toward your house. “You know what? Maybe I’ll just go ask her out for you.”

Jake’s eyes widen in alarm, and he grabs his brother’s arm again. “Don’t you dare.”

But his brother just laughs, easily shaking off Jake’s grip. “Relax, I’m just gonna go say hi. Maybe I’ll mention how my little bro’s been pining for her from afar.” He starts walking toward your house with a smirk, throwing a teasing glance back at Jake.

“Seriously, stop!” Jake calls after him, his voice a mix of panic and irritation. But his brother only quickens his pace, clearly enjoying riling Jake up.

Jake watches in horror as his brother casually strolls up to your front yard, where your mom happens to be tending to some plants. He greets her with a friendly wave and a bright smile. “Good afternoon, ma’am! Beautiful day, isn’t it?”

Your mom looks up, smiling back warmly. “Why, yes it is! You must be one of the new neighbors. I’ve seen you and your family moving in.”

“That’s right,” he says, nodding. “I’m Jake’s older brother. He’s mentioned you and YN a few times.”

Jake cringes from a distance, feeling his stomach twist in knots.

Your mom’s smile widens, clearly pleased. “Oh, how sweet. YN’s out back by the pool if you want to say hello.”

His brother grins, glancing back at Jake, who’s standing frozen on the sidewalk, looking utterly helpless. “Thanks, I’ll do just that.”

Jake’s heart pounds as he watches his brother head toward the backyard, every instinct telling him to sprint over and stop whatever’s about to happen. But before he can decide what to do, his brother disappears around the corner, heading straight for you.

As you’re lounging by the pool, you hear footsteps approaching and glance up, surprised to see Jake’s brother making his way toward you with an easygoing smile. He waves, greeting you like an old friend.

“Hey there, YN! Hope I’m not interrupting.”

You sit up a little, curious and slightly amused by his unexpected appearance. “Oh, hey! Not at all. What’s up?”

He glances around the yard, pretending to admire the scenery. “Just thought I’d stop by and say hi. You know, welcome to the neighborhood and all that. My brother, Jake, has been meaning to come over and talk to you, but he’s been a bit… shy.”

You raise an eyebrow, intrigued by this new information. “Really? I didn’t take him for the shy type.”

His brother chuckles, leaning casually against the fence. “Yeah, he tries to act all cool, but trust me, he’s just nervous. In fact, I think he’s been working up the courage to ask you out for a while now.”

Your eyes widen slightly at that, caught off guard. “Really? I had no idea.”

He nods, enjoying your reaction. “Yep, it’s pretty cute, actually. He’s probably back there right now, freaking out because I’m here talking to you.” He tilts his head toward the front yard, where Jake is pacing nervously, clearly debating whether to intervene.

You can’t help but smile at the thought, glancing toward the front of the house where you can just make out Jake’s figure. “Well, I guess I’ll have to talk to him next time I see him.”

His brother grins, pleased with himself. “I’m sure he’d appreciate that. He’s not as tough as he looks, you know. Just give him a chance.”

With that, he pushes off the fence and gives you a playful salute. “I’ll leave you to your pool time, YN. But seriously, don’t be too hard on him. He’s a good guy, even if he’s a bit of a mess around you.”

You laugh, shaking your head. “I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks for the heads-up.”

As he heads back to the front yard, he can’t resist throwing a final teasing remark over his shoulder. “And if he doesn’t make a move soon, I might just have to ask you out myself!”

You laugh again, waving him off as he leaves.

Meanwhile, Jake is waiting anxiously by the sidewalk, watching his brother approach with a smug look on his face. Jake’s nerves are still on edge as he stares at his brother, trying to read his expression. “What did you say?”

His brother shrugs, trying to keep a straight face. “Just the truth, little bro. She’s expecting you to talk to her now, so you better not chicken out.”

Jake stares at his brother, feeling a mix of anxiety and frustration bubbling up. "What do you mean she’s expecting me to talk to her?" he demands, his voice edging on panic.

His brother just grins, clearly enjoying the situation. "Relax, man. I didn’t say anything bad. Just let her know you’re interested and that you’ve been meaning to talk to her. You know, break the ice."

Jake runs a hand through his hair, feeling the weight of the situation settle on his shoulders. "You told her I’m interested in her?"

"Yeah, I did. And she didn’t seem freaked out, so that’s a win, right?" His brother claps him on the back, trying to be encouraging but only making Jake more nervous.

Jake groans, pacing in a small circle on the sidewalk. "I can’t believe you did that. Now she probably thinks I’m a total creep."

His brother rolls his eyes, grabbing Jake by the shoulders to stop his pacing. "Dude, chill out. She was cool about it. Actually, she seemed kind of interested. She even said she’ll talk to you next time she sees you."

Jake stops, blinking in surprise. "She did?"

"Yep," his brother nods, crossing his arms with a satisfied smirk. "Now, all you’ve gotta do is not screw it up."

Jake lets out a long breath, still feeling uneasy but slightly relieved. "So what do I say when I see her? I mean, I can’t just walk up and be like, ‘Hey, I heard you’re cool with me being a socially awkward idiot.’"

His brother laughs, shaking his head. "No, not quite. Just be yourself—well, maybe a slightly less awkward version of yourself. Talk to her like a normal person. Ask her about her day, or what she’s into. You know, the usual stuff."

Jake nods slowly, trying to absorb the advice. "Okay, yeah. I can do that… I think."

His brother gives him an encouraging nudge. "You’ll be fine, Jake. Just don’t overthink it. And hey, if you need a wingman, you know where to find me."

Jake rolls his eyes but can’t help but smile a little. "Thanks, but I think I’ll pass on that."

His brother chuckles. "Suit yourself, but I’ll be right here if you need me to swoop in and save the day."

With that, Jake’s brother heads back toward the house, leaving Jake standing on the sidewalk, his mind racing with thoughts of what to say the next time he sees you. He glances toward your backyard, where you’re still lounging by the pool, seemingly oblivious to the turmoil going on in Jake’s head.

Taking a deep breath, Jake steels himself, knowing he’ll have to face you sooner or later. But as he watches you from a distance, he can’t help but feel a little more hopeful. Maybe, just maybe, this could turn out better than he thinks.

Gathering his courage, Jake decides that he can’t just stand around and let the opportunity pass by. He takes a tentative step forward, but then stops, hesitating. What if he messes up? What if you’re not actually interested? A dozen doubts crowd his mind, making him second-guess his decision.

You glance up, noticing Jake for the first time. Your eyes meet his, and for a moment, everything else fades away. Jake freezes, caught in your gaze, his heart hammering in his chest. This is it. There’s no turning back now.

With a nervous smile, Jake raises a hand in a half-wave. "Uh, hey, YN," he stammers, walking closer to the fence that separates your yards. "I didn’t mean to, uh, bother you or anything…"

You smile back, setting down your drink and sitting up a bit straighter. "You’re not bothering me at all, Jake. Come over, it’s too hot to be standing out there."

Jake hesitates for only a second before he nods and makes his way around the fence, slipping into your backyard. The moment feels surreal to him, like something out of a dream. He’s not sure if he’s more nervous or excited, but he pushes those thoughts aside, determined to not make a fool of himself.

As he approaches, you pat the lounge chair next to yours, inviting him to sit. "So, your brother was telling me you’ve been meaning to talk to me?"

Jake’s cheeks flush slightly, but he manages to keep his voice steady. "Yeah, uh, sorry if that’s weird or anything. I’ve just… been kind of nervous, I guess."

You chuckle softly, shaking your head. "It’s not weird, Jake. Honestly, I’ve been wondering when you’d come over and say hi."

Jake looks at you, surprised. "You have?"

You nod, smiling. "Yeah, you’ve seemed nice enough whenever I’ve seen you around. I figured we’d eventually talk, but I didn’t expect your brother to play matchmaker."

Jake groans, rubbing the back of his neck. "Yeah, he’s… a handful. I swear, he loves embarrassing me."

"Older siblings," you say with a knowing smile. "They live for that."

Jake laughs, the tension in his shoulders easing slightly. "Yeah, tell me about it. But, um, I’m glad I finally got the chance to talk to you. I’ve kind of been wanting to… you know, get to know you better."

You give him a warm, reassuring smile. "I’d like that too, Jake."

For a moment, the two of you sit in a comfortable silence, the summer heat wrapping around you like a blanket. Jake feels the knot of anxiety in his chest slowly start to unwind. He glances over at you, noticing the way the sunlight catches in your hair, and he can’t help but smile.

The afternoon drifts into the golden hues of early evening, you and Jake find yourselves in the pool, splashing around and enjoying the cool relief from the summer heat. The atmosphere is light and playful, filled with the sound of laughter echoing off the water. You both seem to have forgotten about the awkwardness of your earlier encounters, falling into an easy rhythm of teasing banter and shared smiles.

The sun begins its descent, casting a warm, amber glow across the backyard. The sky is painted with shades of pink and orange, reflecting off the water and giving everything a soft, dreamlike quality. The two of you float lazily, the day’s heat still lingering in the air, but the water keeps you cool. You’re both a little out of breath from the games you’ve been playing, but the mood is content and peaceful.

At some point, the laughter starts to fade, leaving a comfortable silence in its wake. Jake glances over at you, his gaze lingering on your face. There’s something different in his eyes now, a softness that wasn’t there before. The playful energy between you has shifted into something more intimate, more tender.

You catch his eye, feeling a flutter in your chest as you realize how close you’ve drifted toward each other. The world seems to slow down around you, the sounds of the evening fading into the background. Jake’s expression is gentle, his eyes searching yours for something unspoken.

The water ripples softly around you as you move a little closer, your breath catching in your throat. Jake’s hand reaches out, hesitantly at first, then with more confidence as his fingers brush against yours under the water. The touch is electric, sending a thrill up your spine.

Neither of you speaks, but the silence is charged with emotion. You can see the way Jake’s gaze drops briefly to your lips, and when he looks back into your eyes, there’s a question there, one that you silently answer by leaning in just a fraction closer.

Jake’s free hand comes up to cup your cheek, his touch warm against your cool skin. He moves slowly, giving you every chance to pull away, but you don’t. Instead, you tilt your head slightly, your eyes fluttering shut as you close the distance between you.

The kiss is soft and tentative at first, a gentle meeting of lips that sends sparks through your whole body. But as the moment stretches, it deepens, becoming more sure, more certain. Jake’s hand slips from your cheek to the back of your neck, pulling you closer as the water swirls around you both.

Time seems to stop as you lose yourself in the kiss, the rest of the world fading away until all that exists is the warmth of Jake’s lips on yours and the steady beat of your heart echoing in your ears. There’s a sense of rightness in this moment, like everything has led to this.

When you finally pull back, just enough to catch your breath, your foreheads rest against each other. The sun has dipped lower on the horizon, casting long shadows across the yard. The sky is a deep, dusky pink, and the first stars are beginning to twinkle in the darkening sky.

Jake’s eyes open slowly, and when he looks at you, there’s a softness there, a quiet intensity that makes your heart skip a beat. Neither of you says anything at first, but there’s no need. The connection between you is clear, stronger than words could ever express.

Finally, Jake breaks the silence, his voice barely above a whisper. “I’ve wanted to do that for a while now,” he admits, his thumb gently stroking the side of your neck.

You smile, your fingers still intertwined with his under the water. “Me too,” you confess, your voice equally soft, filled with the same warmth and affection.

He leans in, pressing a tender kiss to your forehead before pulling you into a gentle embrace. The two of you float there in the pool, wrapped up in each other as the last light of day fades away, and the stars take their place in the night sky.

reblogs are appreciated :)) thanks for reading this, pretty xoxo

[lonelywhalien22]

ten seconds to midnight

pairing: jungkook x gn reader

rating/genre: second chance, fluff + sprinkle of angst or angst + sprinkle of fluff idk lol

summary: it's new year’s eve and you see your ex jungkook again for the first time since you broke up with him.

warnings: time and location are abstract af in this fic so don’t try to piece together distances or a timeline from anything in this; I wrote it in a more poetic fashion – it’s just a *vibe* if you will lol

word count: 4.6k

song(s) to listen to while reading: tis the damn season by taylor swift, ruin by shawn mendes, new year’s day by taylor swift

note: cleaned this up to share while I edit my next longfic – this is something sweet with a sprinkle of midnight angst. if you happen to enjoy this fic you’ll probably like what I have coming next so stay tuned. happy new year’s everyone and i’ll see you all next year <3

Two years.

It had been two years since you and Jungkook had seen each other for the first time in that art history class – had studied together, hung out together, and eventually dated.

Six months.

It had been six months since you'd left suddenly. Unexpectedly.

Six months since those words were flung like daggers between the two of you, as if you’d been in a competition to see who could hurt the other more – who could prove they were less attached than the other was. Pretending as if all of those late nights, whispered confessions, soothing touches, and sweet kisses had meant nothing.

As if in some sort of war, the two of you had thrown, burned, abandoned, and trashed every last remnant of your relationship, overcompensating to try and prove that none of the feelings were real, that the vulnerability was all a lie, and that you'd actually been keeping your shields up all along.

It's the reason you moved further away than you'd originally planned after you graduated - why you’d signed on to the extra work at your job, the extra responsibilities…you’d even gotten a new phone number, claiming you wanted a completely fresh start.

It's the reason why your brief visit home during the holidays this year just wasn’t the same. Why Jungkook didn’t stop by with the rest of his family to drop off gifts or send cards. Why you no longer saw him at the store he always used to frequent at a specific time, the two of you in charge of picking up whatever your respective families had forgotten for Christmas dinner.

It seemed like you and Jungkook had finally succeeded in creating an irreparable chasm between the two of you.

So instead, you spent your short visit home for the holidays nervously traversing the town that still held memories of him. You pushed your cart through the local grocery store in a near state of paranoia, drove around town with the windows up, let others in the house open the door when you got the usual holiday greetings from family and friends.

You didn't miss him, you told yourself.

Even as you chose to go to his mom's favorite grocery store, or mindlessly drove by some of your old spots from when you two had been together - eagerly looked out the window of your old childhood bedroom whenever you heard the doorbell ring.

You didn't miss him.

Now it was New Year’s Eve, and you currently found yourself outside on a fire escape in the chilly night air, high above a city you were still getting to know, at a party you didn't want to be at, terrified to go back inside.

How exactly had that happened?

Let’s take a few steps back.

The New Year’s Eve party was one put together by some old friends from college you’d reconnected with in the area.

None of them felt particularly close, but after spending last New Year’s Eve alone in your tiny studio apartment guzzling down an entire bottle of champagne and falling asleep before the ball had even dropped, you figured you’d try getting out and doing something in the city you were trying to call home for once.

As you walked into the crowded party space, you immediately scouted out the food and beverages area - your trusty diversion ever since you’d been to your first party as an underclassman in college, terribly shy and fearful of large crowds. You could still remember the moment you’d spotted Jungkook from afar for the very first time in a cramped living room all those years ago - laughing with his friends in a corner, his eyes on you for the tiniest of milliseconds before he went back to sipping whatever was in his red solo cup. It was his hands you’d noticed first, the handful of tiny tattoos scattered across his knuckles. You’d been so surprised when he’d said hello to you in a class one semester later, even more so when he’d smiled easily as he admitted to remembering you, the mural of tattoos on his right hand having spread, two new ones on his index finger and another near his wrist.

Back in the present, you grabbed a few cookies and some water, slowly sipping on your beverage of choice as you resolved yourself to silently watching the party from a distance. You were here – that was progress enough wasn’t it?

"Y/n?" you heard someone shout your name eagerly.

You were surprised since you didn't think you knew anyone at this party all that well, but the friendliness of the voice made you perk up.

Turning your head in the direction of the voice, you recognized the owner as an old friend from back home.

"Changkyun?" you exclaimed, shocked.

You hadn’t seen him in forever. He was so tall and almost athletic in his build now, that you almost didn’t recognize him.

"Hey! Wow, long time no see!" he smiled and immediately pulled you in for a hug. It nearly squeezed the surprise right out of you.

You two began a conversation and caught up, laughing over old memories and how much you’d each changed since last seeing the other before he interjected quickly.

"Now that I think about it, pretty sure I saw someone else you know around here..." he pondered out loud, scanning the crowd before he spotted who he was looking for.

"Oh yeah, Jungkook is here. Hey JK!"  you heard Changkyun quickly shout across the crowd towards the center of the room.

Before you could even fully register the name of your ex you glanced over to where your friend was calling, instantly spotting the back of a familiar head of hair, though it was longer than you remembered, the ends curling slightly from the length.

“J-Jungkook..." you repeated quietly, eyes widening as your brain registered what was happening.

"You good?" Changkyun asked, noticing the change in your expression. "Oh shit, wait - you two were together at some point weren’t you? Did I -"

The rest of his words evaporated into nothing but muffled noise as you watched the head of your ex swivel around, searching for the source of the voice that had called his name. He was still as mesmerizing as ever - those big brown eyes and soft lips. His hair fell into his eyes as he turned, and it made your view of him both painfully nostalgic and exhilarating all at once.

He was gorgeous. Just like you remembered.

You stood frozen, eyes wide in admiration, until Jungkook’s gaze singled in on you and broke you out of your trance. Quickly his eyebrows furrowed in confusion before they lifted up softly upon recognizing you. You watched as he mouthed your name, as if he was asking himself whether or not it was really you. But it was all muddled within seconds as you realized your vision was beginning to blur. Your throat dried up and your head began to pound, and finally you realized you were about to cry.

For some inexplicable reason, you were upset.

"Damnit," you muttered to yourself, looking down, a tear slipping down your cheek against your will.

"Y/n, are you ok?" you heard Changkyun ask beside you, but you only shook your head quickly.

"I…I gotta go," you barely managed to choke out before turning away and pushing through the crowd as fast as you could. You quickly reached the front door and tumbled out, searching for the elevator before instead opting to take the stairs rather than risk standing around for any longer.

After wandering around aimlessly for a couple floors you came upon a shaky fire escape entrance and yanked open the doors, cool air slapping your face like a tide in a storm. It brought goosebumps to your skin - the chill of the night breeze, the cool steel grates that scraped against your thighs as you sat down, the hard brick of the wall against your back, but still - you found yourself grateful for the getaway.

You shimmied to the side so you couldn’t be seen from the glass door entrance and tried to make yourself comfortable in the space that remained, your legs slipping into a makeshift crisscross position. It was ridiculously cramped, and probably not at all safe, but at least it was quiet. The isolation gave you a chance to work through some of your thoughts without interruptions from annoyingly drunk partygoers.

"Why did I come here," you whispered to yourself, frustrated.

You knew how much you hated parties, and yet you'd gone anyways, only to find yourself in the very situation you’d been fearing since the holidays had come upon you – trapped with him just steps away and nowhere to run or hide.

You were terrified to face all the damage you’d left behind in your breakup with Jungkook - the stuffed closet full of baggage and hastily thrown together lies that you knew would all come tumbling down if you ever saw him again.

If you were being honest, you'd been running from this very scenario ever since you’d broken up with him. Because somehow, after all this time, he still wouldn't leave your head - his smile, the sound of his laugh, the way he could be incredibly cute but could also make you completely flustered at the flip of a switch.

The way he’d felt like a best friend, a confidante, and a lover all at the same time. How he’d made you feel so loved in a way only he could.

You had searched for that same feeling in others, from the occasional coworker to the random blind date, but no matter how hard you tried you couldn't get yourself to fall out of love with him. And deep down, you think you always knew it. You'd be lying if you said there wasn't some part of you that saw a piece of him in everything you did and everywhere you went. You just couldn't lie to yourself anymore – not after seeing how you'd reacted from just seconds of seeing him in person again.

You took a few deep breaths, staring out at the lights and bustle of the city as your finger trailed longingly up and down one of the steel bars that separated you from the open air. Funny how the rest of the world just continued to go on, even when it felt like your little corner of it was being shaken to no end like a snow globe in a child’s hands.

But watching all the cars and pedestrians below carrying on with their lives – it also helped you put your worries into perspective - helped you keep calm.

Suddenly, your thoughts were interrupted by the cracking open of the fire escape door.

Please don't be a couple, please don’t be a couple, you thought to yourself. The last thing you needed were some handsy lovebirds interrupting your ruminations and reminding you of your own failures in the relationship department.

"Y/n?" you heard someone whisper softly. "Y/n, you out there?"

You’d recognize that voice anywhere - warm and soothing when it was singing along to a song on the radio, smooth and sweet like caramel when it was directed towards you, and immediately your body tensed.

The voice continued to call your name again and again, and you could hear his footsteps shuffling around closer and closer to you in the dark. Folding into yourself and squeezing your eyes shut, you prayed he didn’t notice you, or maybe he’d think you were some stranger - turn around and leave you out here all alone like you thought you wanted.

The footsteps continued until you heard the door open one last time, someone mumbling something too far away for you to hear before banging it shut again. You figured he didn't see you, deciding to look elsewhere, and your shoulders relaxed again.

"Didn't think I’d see you here," you suddenly heard loud and clear.

"Fuck," you shouted, too spooked to really think about it before your reflexes kicked in and you jumped, quickly turning towards the voice. "I thought I was alone out h-"

As soon as you looked up you saw that it was your ex. He stood feet away, one hand still lingering on the fire escape entrance.

"Jungkook."

You mumbled his name, aggravated as he raised a brow at your rare curse.

Quickly, you angled yourself back towards the view of the skyline, shaking your head profusely as you attempted to make him go away.

"I don't wanna see you."

"Believe me, this wasn't really how I pictured spending my night either," he retorted, and you couldn’t even lie - the words felt like a cold knife straight to your heart.

He took just one tiny step forward, hand falling from the rusted metal handle of the door.

"I couldn't just let you go off crying though."

"I wasn't crying," you spat out. It was your roughest voice yet, but Jungkook didn’t even flinch.

"You're still shit at lying," he said with a smirk instead. "We may not be together anymore, but I can still recognize the face you make when you're about to cry."

You wished he’d elaborate so you could practice never making that face again, but he just stood still, glancing back through the window. It both annoyed the heck out of you and made your heart flutter, knowing he could still read you like that.

He took another few steps towards you. Like a giant, his stature towered over you as he continued to stand, his feet careful not to step on your fingers.

"Anyways, you left this," he suddenly said, a chunk of metal entering your view. It was your phone.

How that happened, you had no idea. You must have placed it on a nearby table as you ate, distracted by you conversation with Changkyun. You grabbed it swiftly, careful not to touch his hand in any way, but you still couldn’t help but notice the decorative ink that now danced all over his fingers, the way his skin reddened in the cold.

Did he notice you still used the phone case he’d bought you for your birthday?

"Thanks," you told him curtly instead, avoiding his gaze.

You kept quiet, expecting him to finally go away now that he’d returned your phone but instead the silence lingered, Jungkook’s feet shuffling awkwardly.

“Come back inside Y/n,” he said, tone gentle, the edges of his jawline softening.

“Why?”

Jungkook looked down, shoving his hands into his pockets.

“Changkyun’s worried about you,” he mumbled eventually. “…and besides, it’s dangerous - sitting out here all alone like that.”

“I’ll be fine. No need to worry about me.”

You could feel his frustration brewing as he looked at you in silent incredulity, a cloudy huff leaving his lips in the night air before you felt him sit right down beside you. His denim-clad knee scraped yours just faintly as he settled into a comfortable position. Together the two of you took up nearly all the space on the tiny ledge.

"You want a drink?" Jungkook offered coolly, a cup of red liquid seemingly appearing out of nowhere.

It was tempting, but you hesitated. After all, you weren’t looking to get inebriated while on a shaky fire escape with your ex nearby to bear witness to some sort of embarrassing, drunken confession of longing. You generally preferred to stay sober anyways.

"It's just cranberry juice,” he told you, as if he could read your mind. “They have a bunch of it to mix with the cocktails."

Fuck.

Not only did he remember how much you hated alcohol, but also that cranberry juice was your favorite?

"You're the only person I've ever met who drinks that stuff," he used to always joke.

Back in the present, you took the cup from his hands, finally looking at him to search his face briefly, but his expression gave nothing away. You took a sip to busy yourself.

A blanket of silence fell between you. It wasn’t awkward or even necessarily tense, but it didn't feel like it was truly quiet either. Instead, it was more like there were a bunch of unsaid words bouncing around between the two of you, trying but failing to break out.

"What're you thinking about?" Jungkook asked innocently, looking down at one of his hands before focusing back on the view of the city skyline.

"Nothing," you shook your head tersely, only to hear the tiniest of hums escape his lips out of disbelief.

"So you're outside all alone, staring at the sky in the freezing cold and nothing's wrong? You sure about that?"

You closed your eyes, more and more memories rushing back to you – like the times Jungkook used to find you alone out on the campus green, just sitting with the palm of your hand pressed against your cheek, pouting as you stared at some point in the clouds. Or how he used to poke you on the nose whenever you laid your head in his lap and stared into space, that same pensive look on your face. His words were always the same every single time.

"What're you thinking about?"

It was beginning to drive you crazy the more you thought about it – how, even after all this time apart, he was still able to pick up on little things like that.

And it made you feel even crazier when you thought about the fact that you still remembered those little things about him too.

Trying to keep yourself from becoming any more affected by his words, you tried a slightly more aggressive approach.

"Well maybe I would be fine if I was actually alone."

But he only turned to face you at that remark, another deep sigh escaping his lips.

"Y/n/n.." he used your nickname this time, and he sounded regretful, like your words had actually stung. "Look, I just wanna make sure you're ok."

"I'm am ok," you said back harshly.

Another bout of silence fell between you at that – this one like a cascade of bricks instead of a gentle blanket.

"Why are you acting like I'm the one who did you wrong?" Jungkook piped up, exasperation inching into his voice.

"Last time I checked, I told you I wanted to be left alone."

"You know that's not what I'm talking about,” he said, undeterred by your attempt to change the subject.

You didn’t respond immediately, not ready to talk about your breakup out in the open.

You weren’t sure you'd ever be ready.

"I told you I wanted to experience other places…" you started after a minute or so, quieter than expected. "You know I never wanted to stay so close to home."

"And I get that, but one week?" Jungkook asked incredulously. "How could you only tell me a week before you left? I thought I meant more to you than that."

You huffed out loud in frustration, unsure how to respond.

It was true - you did tell Jungkook about your big move only seven days before you left. You did it out of fear.

Because you were scared.

You and Jungkook had gotten so close after only two years, and you’d never felt that way about a person before - you’d never felt in love.

It scared you - especially when you thought that maybe you were just getting too attached, too quickly.

If there was one thing you hated, it was dependency. Needing someone else felt like an indefensible weakness, and you were afraid that being with him, needing him, would only hold you back.

All you’d wanted was some space to cool off and clear your head - evaluate how you felt from a distance in solitude, like you always did when you felt overwhelmed by your emotions. When you finally did tell Jungkook about the move, you were hoping you two would just dial things down a little - keep in touch remotely while you took some time to think about your life post-graduation.

But instead, the whole thing had turned into one big shouting match.

Hurtful words had been thrown like weapons on both sides, and by the time the dust had settled, you were driving hundreds of miles away.

You’d ignored his calls, deleted his texts, and even refused to listen to appeals from your mother, who still kept in touch with his family. Distancing yourself away from him had only made your worst fears become a reality, and in turn made it even easier to run away from it all rather than confront your fears head on.

Avoidance was the only way you knew how to approach things that were hard - uncomfortable.

And maybe that's why you were sitting here on this damn fire escape in the first place.

"I just wanted some space," you defended yourself.

"But so suddenly? Was there something I did wrong?" he asked you dejectedly.

You turned to look Jungkook in his eyes, and behind his seemingly calm face you could see real pain. You really had hurt him, and in that moment you wished you could tell him the truth – that he hadn't done anything wrong. He'd done everything right, but you just hadn't known how to deal with the intensity of your feelings.

"Did you really have to change your number? Pretend like I didn't even exist?" Jungkook spoke up again.

"That's not fair," you shook your head. "You really hurt me with your words when I finally did tell you."

"Because you broke my heart," he exclaimed, getting visibly upset. "You told me you never loved me - that all of those memories, all those moments we shared...” he looked down for a moment. “You said none of it mattered. That I’d ‘taken it the wrong way.’"

"I didn't mean any of that," you blurted out loud.

"That's what I told myself," Jungkook started, "but what was I supposed to think when you completely cut me out of your life?"

You sniffled silently, unable to come up with any more excuses.

Simply put, you’d both really hurt each other.

As you focused back on all the lights down below, legs beginning to cramp, you felt a curtain of warmth envelop your shoulders.

Jungkook had draped his denim jacket across your body. You couldn’t help but fixate on how the fabric was soft and worn, and it smelled just like him - that same combo of body wash and cologne that you still couldn’t erase from your memory.

"Are you two dating?" you heard him ask quietly.

"What?" you asked, confused before putting two and two together. "Me and Changkyun? No…"

The question took you aback. What did it matter to him anyways?

"I came alone and ran into him unexpectedly," you explained further. "Why are you here?"

"An old classmate invited me," he told you casually, contemplating his next words for a moment before continuing. "I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hoping that maybe I'd see you though..."

You felt your heartbeat quicken at the casual admission, but you didn’t have much time to think about what it meant as he smoothly moved on.

"What about you? I thought you hated parties."

You sighed, hesitant to be so honest but feeling a strange sense of courage regardless.

"Well normally I do, but last New Year’s just...wasn’t all that great," you started.

"How so?"

You took a deep breath before continuing, counting off the reasons on your fingers. "Well, I was alone. And it sucked. I didn't even make it to midnight before I just fell asleep. So I decided this year I'd try going out instead."

"And how's it going?" Jungkook asked, the tiniest hint of a twinkle in his eye. “Tonight, I mean.”

Was he flirting with you right now?

"Not sure yet…" you played along, "but I'm still awake so that's a plus."

Again you sat quietly for a few minutes, neither of you making a move, not a single word shared between the two of you. This time the silence was comforting. You became hyper aware of his knee brushing against your own, and your insides felt so warm that suddenly the cold air didn’t faze you at all.

Maybe, just maybe…

Your quiet stalemate was interrupted when the fire escape door slammed open and the sound of drunken giggles grew louder and louder, a shaggy head of hair sticking itself outside to ogle at the two of you.

"Oh, shoot, looks like this one's taken babe," the random guy shouted in a slurred voice.

"Well hurry up and find somewhere else, I can't wait any loooonger," some poor girl whined, just as tipsy.

They disappeared as quickly as they came, the door shutting with a bang, and you and Jungkook couldn't help but burst out into laughter.

"Was their plan to screw each other on the balcony?" you heard him utter your exact thoughts aloud. Not so innocent memories crept into your mind for a split second before you squashed them.

He's still your ex, you reminded yourself.

"Not sure,” you said instead with a chuckle, “but it certainly looks like we’ve reached that point in the evening where I typically remove myself from the situation."

You pulled your phone out to check the time. "It's midnight,” you realized.

You two had been out there together for over half an hour.

"Guess that means it's time to go, huh?" you heard him ask.

"Yeah…"

Neither of you moved to get up though.

You weren’t expecting to still be with Jungkook at this point, and suddenly you were unsure of what to do. How did one say goodbye to an ex?

How did you say goodbye when you didn't want to?

"Y/n?" Jungkook said your name, pulling you out of your thoughts. You looked at him with bated breath, urging him to continue as fireworks began to go off in the distance.

"Um…" he stalled, clearly trying to find the right thing to say next.

Hating the silence, you improvised, taking off his jacket to give back. The warmth that previously enveloped you disappeared immediately, and it left you feeling strangely empty.

"Here, let me give you back your jacket before I forget."

"Oh…yeah, thanks," he said, a hint of sadness in his voice.

As he leaned over to grab it, you quickly kissed his cheek before backing away and looking down, brushing the hair out of your face.

"Sorry if that was weird," you started, "but I just…wanted to apologize. For everything I put you through back then."

To your surprise, Jungkook shifted a little closer to you, lips pulled into a soft smile as he shook his head. "You don't deserve all the blame. We both said things we shouldn't have, and I'm sorry too."

Butterflies burst free in your belly, and the fireworks that lit up the sky seemed to form a faint outline around Jungkook’s head as he stared at you, eyes boring into your own, keeping you frozen in place.

His hand slipped into yours lightly, and you looked at them for a split second, fingers intertwined in warmth as he spoke. Slowly but surely, you felt yourself drawn towards him in a familiar lure, like a moth to a flame.

Like a wanderer finding their way back home.

"Any chance we could just pretend like it's ten seconds to midnight again?" you asked shyly, and he instantly cracked the biggest smile you’d seen from him all night.

Jungkook said nothing, instead leaning in to kiss you gently.

[wowcatboys]

hiii heheh, i just got into heartsteel recently and i’d love some sett kissing headcanons! (like the ones you wrote for kayn!!) ( ^ω^ )

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HEARTSTEEL SETT / READER: KISSES ♡ Gender Neutral ♡ SFW, NSFW under bold header ♡TW: Sexual Content

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SETT

Whenever Sett hasn't seen you for awhile, (which happens far, far too often, owing to his packed Heartsteel schedule) he greets you with a huge, dramatic kiss. "Awww," he grins, "there's my favorite person!" He drops his bag to scoop you up in his arms, squishing you in a giant hug. No sooner than he puts you down is his mouth on yours, telling you how much he missed you in a way that words can't. It always lasts a minimum of five seconds and always makes you a little jelly-in-the-knees.

If you ask Sett his favorite place to kiss you, he rolls his eyes. "Awww, c'mon baby, you can't make me pick just one," he groans playfully, emphasizing his point by tugging you in and smattering kisses around your face. But really? He does have a favorite spot, and it's your forehead. Sett loves to slip his hands under your jaw, tilting your head up towards him. He brushes his lips across the smooth patch of skin just above your eyebrows. Sett lingers there for a moment. He basks in your soft warmth and closeness, rubbing tender circles over your cheekbones. Normally, he swipes a quick kiss over your lips before he pulls away (might as well make a pit stop while he's down there, right?).

Sett doesn't have an extraordinarily specific taste, but sometimes his mouth is a little sweet from the last pre-workout drink or protein shake he's had.

When he's kissing you, Sett's hands don't wander much. He keeps a gentle but firm grasp on your waist, or he's got one hand on your hip and one at the nape of your neck. If you let him, he tangles his fingers in your hair—if not, though, no biggie. He just keep his hand on the column of your neck, softly pressing you closer so he can devour your delicious lips.

Even though he wraps his fists, Sett still scuffs his knuckles up from frequent one-on-ones with a punching bag. He loves when you speckle soft-lipped kisses across his aching, split knuckles. "Thanks, hun," he hums, giving you a lovesick look that he reserves only for you. "I'm gonna be back to a hundred percent in no time."

Sett doesn't mind PDA. If you want a kiss then you're getting a kiss, who cares where you are or who sees? Picking him up from the gym? Cute (albeit sweaty) kiss in front of his gym bros. Hanging out backstage at a performance? Good luck kiss, even though he's quite aware it breaks the hearts of any groupies that might catch a glance. You're crashing Heartsteel's game night and Aphelios is kicking your ass in Super Smash Bros? Bet on a consolation kiss, even though Kayn makes a face and does an exaggerated 'eeewwww'. Sett just laughs and kisses you harder.

That being said, Sett will never give you a steamy kiss in front of his mom. You're getting a light peck at best. He's trying hard to maintain that Good Boy image for her. Plus, he just thinks it's a bit more respectful to you, as well—spending time with someone's parents can be nerve-wracking at the best of times, so he figures it's probably better not to embarrass you by shoving his tongue down your throat during family dinner.

Sett's a human space heater, which means his lips are always warm. If you're chilly, kissing Sett is a great way to get some feeling back in your numb-cold cheeks. His body heat and warm mouth will have you thawing out in no time!

Sleepy, cuddly kisses are a staple with Sett. He likes his naps and he loves to snuggle, which means you end up trapped as his little spoon pretty often. If you try to wriggle free he half-wakes-up, murmuring a little "hmm?" before nuzzling into your neck and falling right back asleep. Plan on being there for awhile if your dozes off on you. And, when he does finally wake up? Sett is not above bribing you to stay in bed with kisses. "Awwwww, c'monnnnnnn," he groans, hiding his face in your shoulder. "Ten more minutes. Please?" If you say no, he goes in for the kill. He starts at the junction of your shoulder and neck and works up from there, peppering kisses across all of your most ticklish spots. "Please?" He begs. "Please please?" Sett finds your lips before long, quickly deepening an innocent smooch into something languid—licking lazy patterns into your mouth, strong hands massaging slow circles into your skin. He relaxes you until you're basically boneless, melting into his touch. "Fine," you relent, and he hums with contentment. "Nice," he murmurs. He's back asleep before you even have time to adjust.

Sett's almost-unfair height is a bit tough to navigate when trying to kiss him. Luckily, though, there's a few workarounds. He's always wearing a necklace or chain, which is a great way to pull him down to your level and reach his mouth. And, considering he's constantly trying to "subtly" show you how strong he is, Sett's eager to lift you up for a kiss. He slides his massive arms around your waist and picks you up without breaking a sweat, holding you to his lips until you break away, breathless and giggling.

NSFW

If neither of those methods are to your taste, you can always straddle Sett. This works best, honestly. Both of you can settle in to make out comfortably, with your thighs squishing his waist and his hands spread out across your ass. Perfect. The only drawback? This position almost always leads to sex. You can't help it! How are you supposed to keep from jumping his bones when he's sitting underneath you, letting out those precious moans whenever your teeth pinch his spit-shiny bottom lip? And as for Sett, how can he not tear your shirt off if you're scraping your nails against his scalp, looking down at him with those bedroom eyes?

Sett absolutely loves french kissing. If you go in for a kiss any longer than three seconds, you can bet you'll feel his tongue swiping across your bottom lip, coaxing your mouth open for him.

Getting a little messy doesn't bother Sett in the slightest. Even with your cum dripping off his face he still wants to make out with you. He works his way into your mouth, savoring the way you shiver as you taste yourself on his tongue.

[sarcasticscribbles]

I love asking about your research and my favorite styles of art are the ones that have tons of details (one of the reason why I love JJBA so much) and I realized I never properly asked so:

This is a blank space for you to talk about all the little details of your Gerry arts (plural if not specifically the "Mama" one) and if you have talked about it in detail already (I think you did but I don't remember?) then blank cheque to talk about any and all designs of yours that you want

Aren't you sweet (lol) I think I covered most of Gerry in this post, but to expand on my thought process

In short, my design for Gerry evolves from resembling his mom to resembling his dad, with an added bonus of a ftm headcanon for Gerry. As a child, he looked a lot like Mary, with ginger hair and freckles. As an adult, he dyes his hair black like Eric's and covers his freckles with makeup, but he still highlights a beauty mark that Eric also had. Additionally, he carries his dad's jewellery and coat. Gerry becomes his own person, while still being influenced by Mary and seeking a connection to his father. (bonus for the ancient unreable script on Mary I usually just write out Swedish songs: so far we have Flickan och Kråkan by Mikael Wiehe (Girl and the Crow, a song about seeking hope in a hopeless world/ watching a little child running with a bird that's about to die trying to save it. And second song is Helan Går which is a snapsvisa (drinking song)

I do trad goth for him, a little retro inspired, and I mainly reference Siouxsie Sioux for the makeup. The fashion is very basic and mostly taken by the big coat. I image maybe an old band tee underneath: Grifter's Bone probably lol

Covering one of his eyes with his bang is kind of a silly artist joke, since it's a classic to avoid drawing the second eye + emo kid thing to do. It also puts more emphasis on his visible eye, which is very fitting for an eye aligned character. I mentioned it before, but I really like giving him wavy hair, to kind of stick out from the general goth scene with straightened hair, but also to make him resemble his dad more.

Little lamb plush from the Family Business animatic to show his past innocent and sacrificial storyline (and the lamb in also missing an eye, like he will cover one in the future to draw further parallels)

When I do animatic, I rarely get to add details in designs, so I really enjoy making these character studies to find references to incorporate in designs. Avatars and special characters are a gold mind for this and whenever I find a parallel to something historial/ mythical, or random I can rarely let it go until I've delved into it fully.

[mango-macaron]

More character analysis because I can

Specifically laois, he's my bbg I have to disect him like Kabru wants to. But mostly just the Touden family.

Laois Touden, the oldest sibling of the Touden family. I'm thinking about him and his dad, their resemblances. How they just... look so alike; When Falin says that Laois looks like his dad, he panics and goes clean shaven, hair cut, all that. He doesn't want to look like his dad, but he does.

...Maybe his dad wants to be him. At least from what he can see on the outside. He wants to be like his kids.

His son, respected with a party. Who talks to people. He vaguely keeps up with his two children through the island, so he doesn't know them like he used to when they were kids. Who loves animals, talks to them about anything and everything good.

His daughter, with a knack for magic being outcast by the village. Who connected with a spirit and helped her brother. Who shares the same love of animals as her brother, just softer. Father knows that she'd become him, so he sends her off to magic school because he thinks it's the best.

If he hadn't, she would be a shut in. No friends, living on a farm like the two parents. No one to talk to about their interests. Much like how Laois felt.

Laois leaves one year earlier than Falin. One year without him, with an empty spot on the table, without someone to tend to the animals, to bond with the dogs, to help with the crops, to eat the home cooked food.

That missing space leaves a permanent hole in his mind, maybe he thinks about not sending Falin after all. The missing part of the home is just there, he can't fill that void.

Then Falin goes away to a prestigious magic school. So now he and his wife, one half of the Touden family, are alone.

Maybe he regrets it immediately, maybe the ugly truth of his loneliness stifled by his kids is always in the back of his mind.

Would he change anything about his life? Could he change anything to make his kids lives better?

I don't think we ever get to see him fleshed out, or their mom either. They're side characters and don't need that focus in the manga, but it just... I'm thinking a lot about them.

That small, quaint family, not socialising with the neighbours, who's children the village doesn't know on a personal level. No childhood friends to ask how the siblings are. No adult friends of the parents to ask how they've been.

[cameronspecial]

Thorn In My Side, Rose In My Hand (Part 6)

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Reader

Warnings:  Under Age Drinking, Under Age Marijuana Use, Violence and Displays of Toxic Relationship Acts. If I missed one, please let me know.

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 3.1K

Summary: Rafe throws a party in an attempt to see Y/N. Y/N finds out a heart breaking truth. 

Masterlist

Rafe knows Y/N is ignoring him. No matter what he tries, she never so much as utters a word in his direction. So he is giving her some space. He could say that he isn’t throwing a party for the sole purpose of hopefully seeing Y/N for a split second if she chooses to come, but he’d be lying. Normally, he goes from room to room to check on people. Today, he is in the kitchen, guarding the stuff he bought specifically for Y/N in case she shows up. He sees someone reaching for the hard kombucha in the fridge, “Touch that can and I will throw you out of my house faster than you can say kombucha.” The person quickly closed the fridge and exited the kitchen. “You better not be opening that Oreo package,” he threatens to Mason, who Rafe knows has been eyeing the package. 

“Dude, come on. I told you that she isn’t coming. She went to something that Wilson is holding. It sounded fancy. So let me just have one, please,” Mason begs while he inches toward the package again.

“Still you never know. Maybe she’ll get bored and stop by?”

“I love you, dude. And I want to see you guys together, but I think it’s time to call it. I don’t want you to get your hopes up.” 

“I know my chances. I still have hope though. We are meant to be, I just know it.”

———

Y/N sits at the dinner table with all of Wilson’s friends. He is having a dinner soirée. Honestly, Y/N is bored out of her mind, but Wilson is her boyfriend and this is typically a girlfriend's duty. La Bleue Fleur is catering and the topic of conversation is that uninteresting Civil War documentary that Wilson made her watch.  Y/N is pushing around the leftover garnish on her plate as she is the first person to finish eating. “Y/N, what did you think of Timothy Satonis’ masterpiece?” Allen asks, looking toward the girl. She is caught off guard by the question because she has mostly been left out of the conversation. “Uhh, not gonna lie, I zoned out during the movie. Docs really aren’t my thing,” she replies to the group, which causes them to look at her with horror in their eyes. The group is awkwardly silent for a second before Wilson directs the conversation to something Y/N can be involved in, “Did you guys know Y/N is Cassie Y/L/N’s daughter?” 

This sparks a conversation between the dinner guests. “Have you met her?” Hailey questions excitedly. Wilson smiles with pride, “Yes, I have. We met when I took Y/N to Midsummer. Later on,  I gave her a manuscript of my book when I visited Y/N’s house the other day. Hopefully, she can pass it on to her publisher and it gets published.” Y/N finds it strange that Wilson would say it like he was the one to ask her to Midsummer when in reality she is the one to ask him out. “That is an amazing idea. Y/N, what is your favourite book of hers?” Josh inquiries. “Um, probably Murder in The Deep. The series is inspired by my love of murder mysteries and the main character, Arabella, is modelled after me. So it feels pretty personal and sentimental to me. She even mentions me in the dedication and named a murder victim after me.” “I see. Wilson did not tell us you were one of those types of readers,” Josh remarks with judgement in his tone. She turns towards Wilson to see if he will stand up for her. He doesn’t, so Y/N once again zones out as everyone else continues talking about her mom like she is not there. She feels a little uncomfortable, but she doesn’t say anything to avoid making anyone else feel the same way. 

After dinner and dessert are finished, the evening continues in the family room with a game of trivia. Y/N is usually good at trivia as she is on track to being valedictorian and she loves to know random, obscure facts. However, this game of trivia is all related to the same topics, which bore her to death. “If you’re a fan of Ella Fitzgerald, Benny Goodman, and Miles Davis, which museum in Kansas City will be music to your ears?” Allen reads from the card. Hailey rings her bell quickly, “Amerian Jazz Museum!” The group claps at her answer. Y/N didn’t even know there was a museum only for Jazz music, let alone that it was in Kansas City. Hailey takes the next card, “Bela Bartok and Romantic composer Franz Liszt are typically considered the greatest composers to emerge from what European nation?” Y/N wants to be included in the game, so she tries to take a guess at the answer and rings her bell, “Is it Germany?” Wilson shakes his head in disappointment and she can see the embarrassment in his eyes. “Of course, it is not Germany, Y/N. Everyone knows they are from Hungary. If you do not know the answer, then do not bother answering the question,” he chastises and Y/N feels as though she is a child. 

“Excuse me, I’m going to go to the bathroom,” Y/N excuses as she gets up to find the bathroom, hoping to escape the situation. Y/N knew she should stand up for herself, but she didn’t wanna make a scene because that would also be embarrassing. She is walking back to the family room when she hears her name being spoken. She stops just outside of the family room archway, hiding behind the wall. “I do not understand why you are dating her. She has no substance at all. She is vapid and I do not know how you can spend so much time with her,” she hears Hailey complain. This absolutely guts Y/N because this is another one of her insecurities. When compared to the intelligent life of the part, Elizabeth Huntington, she felt uninteresting with her more reserved personality. However, nothing prepares her for the feeling of what Wilson says next. “It is about looking at the advantages. Y/N may be vapid, but I got to meet Cassie and hopefully, I can be mentored by her. It is the only reason why I asked her out. I heard a rumour that the Y/L/N’s like to spend time on the beach where we met. I figured I was bound to meet one of them eventually.”

Y/N could continue to just stand there and be sorry for herself, but her blood is now boiling and she decides to stand up for herself, no matter how much she wants to cry right now. She steps out from behind the wall, “I may be vapid, but at least, I’m not a lonely boy, who is so obsessed with an author that I stalked her and her family. It is so sad that you used another human being just to get your boring ass manuscript read. My mom showed me the manuscript and we both agree that you sound like a giant stick in the mud even when you write. You don’t have to worry about putting up with me any longer because we are over!” This isn’t her finest moment, but she storms out in a hurry. She can only make it so far before she realizes that she could not walk home all the way. Her vision is blurry, meaning she could not see three feet in front of her. 

She decides it is safer to call someone to come pick her up. She takes out her phone and dials her brother’s number, “Dude, why are you calling? Are you a boomer? Anyways leave a message at the beep.” Voicemail. She calls her parents and gets voicemail again. Right, they are staying on the mainland for the night because her mom has a back-to-back book signing there. She goes to call Lacey, but notices she has a voicemail from her friend. “Y/NNNNN, I love youuuuu. Before you ask, I amz totes not drink. Drink. Drunk, lol. Okay, maybe I am. But, I wants you to know I loves you. Alsoooo, I total- total- totally made out with Derren. He is so h-” The voicemail cuts off before Lacey could finish her drunken rant. This causes Y/N to stop crying for a second and giggle at Lacey’s drunken antics. But the realization that she only has one other person to call whom she felt comfortable with makes her feel anxious because she is not even sure he is going to answer her call after the way she has been ignoring him. 

———

Rafe sits on his couch with Elizabeth on his lap and her tongue down his throat. He was able to convince her that saying Y/N’s name during Midsummer was a mistake, which leads to them having been making out for the last ten minutes. Even with the raging music of the party, Rafe could hear the beginning notes of “The Book of You and I” by Alec Benjamin. It is the ringtone he assigned for Y/N. He must admit it is a strange song to have chosen because it talks about a breakup and he and Y/N haven’t even started their story. The song reminds him of her and he knows Y/N loves the song just because of the mention of a book. She loves the idea of a love story being a book of the two people in the relationship. He immediately pulls away from Elizabeth, leaving the girl frustrated again to go answer the phone somewhere quieter. The song couldn’t even make it to the second note because Rafe answers it. 

“Y/L/N, are you hurt?” he immediately interrogates with worry seeping into his voice. With Y/N ignoring him for the past couple of weeks, he knows it must be serious if she is calling him right now at night. “Ca- Can y- yo- you pi-pick m-e u-u-up, please?” he hears her struggle to say through her tears. Rafe’s eyebrows knit together in concern, “Absolutely, send me your pin and I’ll be there immediately.” Y/N whispers a meek okay and goodbye before hanging up the phone, not giving him a chance to ask further questions.

———

Once again another party ended early for Y/N’s safety, but seeing as Rafe threw the party just to get her attention, he had no problem with ushering everyone out of his house as fast as he can. He doesn’t even wait for everyone to be gone before hopping into his jeep and driving off to the location Y/N sent him. He held very little regard for his own safety as he drove past stop signs and red lights. All that matters is making sure she is safe. He finally gets to his destination, the end of Wilson’s driveway. Y/N sits on the decorative rock in a full-on sobbing fit. Rafe jumps out after double-checking he put the car in park. He wraps his arms around her shoulders and pulls her into his neck without saying a word. After a few minutes, she calms down enough to tell him what happened. “He was only dating me to get to my mom. He said I was vapid and I know it’s true, but it just hurts to hear someone else confirm it.” Rafe blood boils at how Wilson made Y/N feel, “You are not vapid. You’re a rose. When you meet a new person, you are the bud. You are more reserved around them. But when you start to bloom, your passion, love, and joy start to show. Just like how when a rose starts to open up you start to see the beautiful red colour that hides within. Wilson was just too selfish and boring for you to do anything interesting with him.” She smiles up at him and nods her head in understanding. “Wait, here for a second. I’m going to go do something real quick before we leave,” he explains before getting up and walking toward the front door.

Rafe knocks on the auspicious door and waits for Wilson to open it. “What are y-” Wilson tries to say, but he is interrupted by Rafe’s fist punching him in the face. “Come near Y/N again and I’ll do a whole lot worse,” he warns, running off toward Y/N. She stands there shocked at what just happened. She giggles at the image of Rafe coming towards her. He grabs her hand as he passes by and drags her toward his car. Once he helps her up, he goes around and drives off, watching in the back mirror as Wilson and his friends finally catch up to the street. Rafe pulls out his phone to play “Getaway Car” by Taylor Swift, which causes Y/N to fall into hysterics.  

Rafe drives Y/N to Tannyhill because he knows her parents aren’t home and that Mason is probably still in a guest room with Amanda, even after the party is ended. “Where is everyone?” Y/N ponders out loud as she sees the empty house. Mason told her about the party Rafe was throwing. “Sent them home when you called,” he informs her without skipping a beat. He says it in a matter-of-fact way that she knows he doesn’t want her to feel guilty. The car stops and they see Mason come out to join them outside. “Dude, where did you go?” Mason pauses when he sees the tear-streaked face belonging to his twin. “Y/N/N, what’s wrong?” “Wilson was only dating me because of mom,” Y/N mumbles, attaching herself to Rafe. His being there during her time of vulnerability has caused her to feel comfort in his grasp. Mason’s face contorts into anger, “HE DID WHAT! I’M GOING TO KILL HIM!” Y/N quickly goes to her brother’s side and puts her arm out so he can’t get past her. “Don’t worry. Rafe already punched him for me,” she assures her brother, who pulls her into a hug. “Mace, you didn’t pick up your phone.” He grimaces and places a kiss on her forehead, “I know, I’m sorry.” “It’s okay, Rafe was there,” she whispers in the nook. “Should we go home?” Mason asks. “No, can we go to the balcony?” She replies, looking between Mason and Rafe. Both boys nod and follow her to her desired destination. 

Rafe and Y/N make a quick stop to get her more comfortable clothes, so Mason goes to get some snacks. Rafe goes past his room, heading towards Sarah’s room. He looks back to check in with Y/N and notices she isn’t following him. She is paused at his door, waiting for him to follow her. “What’s wrong? Sarah’s room is this way,” he points in the direction of the room. Y/N looks at her feet while shifting her weight between the two, “Actually, can I borrow some of your clothes, please? They are comfy.” Rafe smiles at her suggestion, “Of course, you can, Y/L/N.” he takes her inside. He gives her a plain gray T-shirt and black sweatpants. It may be a mundane outfit, but Rafe loved how she looked in his clothes. She is practically swimming in his shirt because he is so much taller than her and she had to tie her sweatpants very tight so they wouldn’t slip down so much. They both giggle at her constant need to pull up the pants as they head to the balcony. 

———

Mason sits opposite from Y/N and Rafe with a joint in hand while Y/N cuddles herself into Rafe’s arms. They’ve been talking about anything and everything just to cheer Y/N up. “Why the dude never used contractions was so fucking weird. He sounded like such an old person,” Mason jokes while taking a drag of his blunt. Rafe laughs, “Those stupid button-up shirts he’d wear all the damn time. With his name monogrammed onto them. He looked like such a douchebag in them.” This continuous mockery of Wilson has cheered Y/N up. “I caught him ironing the collar of it. Only an asshole is that uptight,” she joins in while taking a swing of her hard kombucha. The boys nod in agreement. Mason snubs out the joint and gets up from his seat, “I’m gonna head to bed. Y/N, you cool if we sleep here?” She nods; originally, she was supposed to sleep over at Wilson’s house. With that, Mason leaves the two alone. 

They sit in comfortable silence, drinking their drinks and looking up at the stars. She has now shifted so her head is on his chest and his arm is around her neck. Y/N opens up the pack of Oreos placed on the coffee table in front of them. She untwists the top of the one she picks up and gives the bottom with the cream on it to Rafe. Understanding what she wants him to do, he grabs the bottom and eats the cream for her before handing it back to her. Y/N and Wilson never had this unspoken language while they were dating. “Why doesn’t anyone love me for me?” She wonders as she gives him another Oreo. “Someone does. He’s just waiting for you to be ready,” Rafe whispers without realizing that she heard him. She looks up at him from her position and he looks down at her. She closes her eyes and starts to lean in to kiss him. No matter how much he wishes he could lean down to meet her lips, he knows this isn’t the right moment, so he pulls away. “As much as I want to kiss you right now, I would rather our first kiss be when you are feeling less vulnerable and are 100% sober,” he tells her. Disappointment is written all over her face, but she knows that he made the right decision. She would prefer their first kiss to feel more right and not just because he is there being sweet to her after a breakup. She nuzzles back into his chest and they go back to just enjoy each other’s company. Her light snores tell him she has fallen asleep and instead of waking her up from her slumber, he picks her up and takes her to the other guest bedroom. He tucks her into the bed and admires the serene look on her face as she sleeps. He lightly kisses her forehead and goes back to his room to welcome the sleep. 

Taglist: @itsalexwin @sublimepenguinpeach-blog  @gillybear17  @terraeluce​  @f4ll-for-you​ 

[charmedreincarnation]

https://www.tumblr.com/charmedreincarnation/715801428071972864/hey-maya-what-are-your-thoughts-on-the?source=share

Not this anon but wait that means I can manifest a certain afterlife? Like there isn't one destined afterlife but it can be whatever we want it to be?

I wish there was a voice audio setting because I would tell you guys so many stories! but anyways I’ll tell you guys about a specific occurrence that happened when I was around 13/16 that changed my perspective on everything.

Basically I used to go to church often . My family is pretty religious, and at the time, I wasn’t even really religious, but I still followed Christianity. I had gotten into manifesting but I still believed in god pretty avidly (and still do just not in a religious way) so I didn’t mind going.

Anyways there was this super religious girl who I would talk to everytime I went. guys I mean she was giving cult. Cross tattoos, Bible reading club everyday, and she could read the Bible word for word backwards probably! I don’t really like super avidly religious people who make their entire life abt god and every conversation abt it, but idk for her I could tolerate it. She was super sweet and her passion was admirable.

I remember she stopped coming to church and I knew something was wrong because this girl would rather die than miss service. Turns out she was in an accident and was probably going to die, so we held a huge fundraiser for her family. At the time I didn’t know what happened to her because no one talked about it after the fundraiser and I didn’t have her phone number so I just assumed she died.

Then when I was 16, so atp pretty into manifesting and not into church anymore I saw her at a tarot shop.. that she owned. Now it’s a general consensus astrology, tarots and stuff is against Christianity. (not that I cared regardless I still was into that shit) but The Sarah (fake name) I knew Would never step foot into what she called a “devil worshipping temple”

But it was definitely her and she looked so different. She used to have long brown hair, wore traditional clothing, would never show skin etc. this girl had a pixie cut with black hair, so many tattoos of sigils and zodiac stuff on her body, so many piercings, and was wearing booty shorts!! I almost didn’t recognize her but she said hi to me and I was in shock. This bitch owns a crystal shop.. Holy Sarah owns a crystal shop!! atp I believed the rapture was about to start bc what the hell

Anyways I asked her how she was and what happened, because I assumed she was dead. And she said she was. She had been officially dead for 5 straight seconds, but was “brought” back with those machines. I told her she looks good but why the change in lifestyle. she said when she died, she was in a black space of nothing but still had thoughts. She didn’t see Jesus or the purgatory or whatever, all she had was herself. She was crying to herself in this void like space as she knew it was the end, and the atheists were right. We become nothing when we die. Then she just wished to come back, and she said she would do anything to come back, and then she did. She awoke again and when she did she got into spirituality and it changed her life.

16 year old me at this point was pretty deep into my spiritual research and she basically confirmed what I had believed since I was 8. We choose what happenes when we die and we can do the same for our life on earth. I pretty much talked to her for hours, until I had to go because my mom doesn’t want me in those “weird” shops either. Anyways I assume the “space” she was in was the void state, but I didn’t know what that was until the end of 2021 ofc so I couldn’t make the connection at the time.

But I mean it makes sense. we have free will, so if we can decide every aspect of our life while alive, why would that change at death. death isn’t the end, just a beginning of whatever new chapter you want or believe it to be. Just my belief ofc :) you’re inclined to believe whatever !

[echo-goes-mmm]

Silas and Wren #6

Masterpost

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Warnings: lots of slavery talk, dehumanization, mention of measles, death mentions

“Do you miss your family?” asked Master.

“Hm? Oh. I dunno.” Wren looked down at the board. “I didn’t know my mom very well. Your move.” 

Master moved his rook over three spaces.

“Me either,” admitted Master. “What about your dad?”

“I never met him,” he said. Wren moved up his pawn.

“Oh. Siblings?”

“I don’t know if I have any.”

“Well that sucks.” Master’s candidness almost made him laugh.

“I guess I miss that I don’t have any family? If that makes sense.”

“No, I get it,” said Silas, “How come you didn’t get to know your mother? Surely you were with her for a while.”

“Oh, I was sold off at eight. Master Lewett didn’t like keeping his slaves' children around. Check.”

Master hummed as he studied the board. Wren didn’t really like chess. He didn’t mind complicated rules, but the pieces and the board were so boring. 

Silas moved his bishop in front of his king. Damn.

“What was your mom’s name?”

“He called her Willow.” Wren liked carcassonne more than chess. The colorful pieces in the shape of little men were fun. More than the black and white chess set.

He saw an opening that Silas had missed. 

“Checkmate.”

“Dang.” 

___________________

Silas told Wren he would be out running errands all day. It was true, but he couldn’t tell Wren what he was doing. He couldn’t forgive himself if he got Wren’s hopes up and failed.

“Hello, sir! Is everything okay with your purchase? We do have a return policy-”

He made his way back to the slavehouse. If he could just find that salesman again…

“No, no, everything’s fine. I was wondering, is there a way to track down a specific slave?” he asked.

“Well…” said the man, stroking his chin. “I suppose it’s possible. Do you have the name of an owner, or anything specific?”

“A Mr. James Lewett? He owned a woman he called Willow, who had a child while serving him. I’m looking to purchase her.”

“I’ll see what I can do. One of the other slavehouses may know the name. There will be costs involved, however, and I can’t promise anything.”

“That’s fine. And I’ll pay whatever you need to get it done.”

___________________

The salesman, Mark, promised to look for Wren’s mother and family. It hadn’t cost much actually, just a fee for Mark’s time, and a small amount for postage. All he had to do was wait.

It wasn’t fair that Wren didn’t know where his mom was. Even though Silas had his own issues with his family, at least he knew they were alive. He knew where he came from, knew his last name, his family’s personalities.

Wren couldn’t say the same for his family. He didn’t even know who his dad was. Or even if he had siblings.

___________________

Waiting for the information was killing him. Keeping such a big secret from Wren was difficult, but he couldn’t afford to tell him what he was up to. What if Mark didn’t find anything? Or worse?

___________________

Days turned to weeks, weeks turned into a month, until a month and a half into waiting, Silas finally got a letter.

Dear Mr. Raventoothe,

Please forgive the delay. Your request was rather in-depth, and oddly difficult to investigate.

I contacted Mr. Lewett. Regretfully, Mr. Lewett had sold ‘Willow’ some years ago, to a slavehouse. He has no recollection of any potential relatives of ‘Willow’, nor any potential slaves who may have fathered your purchase (forgive the assumption, I presume that’s what this is about). 

Mr. Lewett indicated ‘Willow’ may have birthed several children, but not under his ownership. Your companion was her only child during her years there, according to his memory.

I did reach out to the slavehouse, and according to their records, 'Willow' (designated 11053) was sold to a Mrs. Benson.

Mrs. Benson died of old age a year ago. At my request, the family went through her records and found this:

11053 was renamed ‘Honey’, and worked as Mrs. Benson’s maid for many years. The family has fond memories of her, and she was one of their favorites. Unfortunately, ‘Honey’ died from a measles outbreak five years ago. My condolences.

I also reached out to the slavehouse where Lewett purchased ‘Willow/Honey’, but they closed due to a fire and reopened in another location. The files were either destroyed in the blaze or lost in the move. However, It may please you to know that no merchandise was harmed in the accident.

It pains me to tell you that it is impossible to locate any potential father or siblings of your companion. Slaves are often renamed, relocated, or sold and purchased privately. Often there are no records of their children until they are sold, and it is rare their parentage is noted in any capacity.

Regards, Mark.

P.S: Enclosed is the remaining postage fee that I did not use.

God damn it. Silas teared up. Willow was dead. From illness that could have been prevented. She had died five whole years ago, and Wren had no idea. And he probably had brothers and sisters out there. Living siblings that he would never know.

It wasn’t fair. Sniffling, he stuffed the letter back in its envelope and shoved it in his desk. 

He’d keep the letter, but Wren didn’t need to know that he failed to locate his mom. Maybe at some point he’d tell Wren his mother passed away, but for now the letter would stay hidden in his desk drawer.

“Is everything alright, Master?”

He whirled around. 

“Yeah! Yeah, everything’s fine,” he said, wiping his eyes. Wren looked a little suspicious, but said nothing.

“Um,” his mind raced. “How about a game of carcassonne?” He knew that was Wren’s favorite.

“Okay,” said Wren, still unsure. Silas got out the box. Thankfully, he ordered the river expansion and they hadn’t played with it yet.

Hopefully Wren wouldn’t notice how distracted he was.

taglist: @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @secretwhumplair @freefallingup13 @mylovelyme @whumpzone @paintedpigeon1 @haro-whumps @whumpthisway @fanastyfinder @extemporary-whump @susiequaz12

[slickshoesareyoucrazy]

Who Ya Gonna Call?

This is going to be a rambling mental health dump about yesterday. Be warned.

So yesterday afternoon I watched Ghostbusters, my all time favorite movie, that I saw for the first time when I was 6 in 1984, and have seen likely hundreds of times since then, with a friend I've had for several years now who is at least as old as me, who had NEVER seen it. I fucking love watching this movie, especially with people who are seeing it for the first time. My son leaves the room when I watch it because, "Mom it's honestly weird that you know every single word of dialogue." My friend commented on that too, even watching it 'together' long distance and communicating via text. I can't help it. I love it. She asked me why I love it so much. I didn't want to write her a full length doctoral dissertation on Ghostbusters while she was actively watching it with me for her first viewing, but here will be a long essay about a couple of the reasons I love it so much today. I wrote an essay before about how I love that the Ghostbusters are good men, about how even cocky, wryly comedic, womanizing Pete Venkman (Bill Murray) reveres informed consent. I've written about how much J is like Egon Spengler. Some folks have heard me talk about how this movie connects me to A, who's my best friend who passed away last December (You want me to get REAL emotional and sappy, talk to me about Ghostbusters Afterlife. That's obviously about both the afterlife and Egon Spengler. That's like ...a lot. But that's another whole essay. I'm sure I could have just a Ghostbusters blog.)

Today I'm gonna write about 2 things though that no one really thinks about when they see Ghostbusters and one of them is HYPER specific, and it will probably only land if someone else reading this is a freakish super fan like me. But here we go.

At the very beginning of Ghostbusters, Pete Venkman is doing a 'psychological experiment' as a professor at Columbia University, where he claims to be studying, 'the effects of negative reinforcement on ESP (extra sensory perception) ability.' The comedy is that his experiment is shit because he's skewing results in favor of a pretty girl he's trying to pick up. But if you pay attention to the scene his actual results are showing that negative reinforcement improves ESP ability. The poor student getting the mild electric shock on the incorrect guesses, does get one right after 4 misses. And while I can't name the card you pull out of a deck without looking at it, or actually read minds, nor did I ever get actual electric shocks or other physical pain-type negative reinforcement growing up, the subtle negative reinforcement I did constantly get from my family except my grandparents essentially trained me to fucking figure out from whatever you can observe and feel in your space how to navigate it and make a guess at what people need or expect from you in order to avoid that. In my case...I think the negative reinforcement enhanced my 'ESP ability,' for better or worse. I've had many people in my life straight up ask me if I was psychic before. I'm not. I just have a trauma history that makes me so hyper aware of other people's feelings and needs that I can fairly accurately project and predict what they'll do and say a lot of the time. And the closer I am emotionally to that person/the more time I spend with them, the better I get at it. I like that part of Ghostbusters.

And the other piece I want to rant about is the silly commercial they make for the business that ends with the line, "We're ready to believe you," and of course, the catchphrase, "Who ya gonna call?" I'm an honest person. I don't lie. But that doesn't mean I'm always believed. My feelings and needs for attention and affection were ignored, denied, and negated often by pretty much everyone in my life except for my grandparents, A, J, my son(mostly), and some online friends. I don't trust them all the time either. It goes back to all that negative reinforcement and overused and overly relied upon ESP ability. Actually, I don't even trust myself a lot of the time, even though I'm not a dishonest person, especially if I'm thinking or feeling something good or hopeful. My default about people I love and want to trust, and even about my own feelings is, "This can't be real (implied: because it's good)." But the Ghostbusters are ready to believe me. They won't ignore, deny, or negate my experience. It's their promised business model and mission statement. And J and I woke up at 2am today and talked all morning about...life. And about how hard it is to trust and rely on other people other than each other. About how neither of us have anyone really, that we feel would be of any real help to us other than each other. All of our closest emotional connections are scattered and fragile, and all of our closest geographic connections are tenuous at best, but actually basically unreliable to the point of uselessness. We don't have anyone to call. We ARE who other people call. I'm 46 years old and a parent and a homeowner and a college graduate, but I admit I wish we could call Ghostbusters. I like that part of Ghostbusters too. They understand my negative reinforcement and they're ready to believe me and if there's something strange in my neighborhood, I can call them. That's basically my lifelong relationship fantasy. That's why I love J so much. It's why I miss A so badly. They give/gave me that for real.

That's not all of why I love Ghostbusters so much, but it's a start. Thanks for watching it with me yesterday. You don't really know how helpful and necessary it was for me to get through the day. ❤️

[localfanbaselurker]

Yall know the drill!! Let’s get it baby!!

Watching Voltron: LD for the First Time and Saying What I Think

S1-2 | S3 | S4 | S5 | S6 | you are here! | S8

upon formatting this debrief/review, I realized quite quickly that I was gonna run out of the image limit too soon, no matter how many collages I made, so some ideas are better if you specifically remember scenes. Click on images for better quality! I apologize, I only have tumblr on mobile. please enjoy this edition anyway!

Pre-Season 7 Thoughts

-> I said in my S6 post that I thought it could be a decent ending if some strings were finally tied, so hopefully this season clears those up

-> S6 was pretty intense at the end, hopefully they tone it down a notch as they go on their little earth roadtrip

-> the aftermath of Lotor dying is definitely something that will weigh on Allura. Hopefully she doesn’t get too torn up about it

-> I’m really curious as to how the new team dynamics will play out now that Kieth is back as black paladin. Will they go back to s1? s3? Will they just act like nothing??

-> really wanna scene where keith calls krolia mom for the first time

-> what is with this “game show” episode??

-> I’m curious as to how ships will play out now.. Lance seems to be okay with Allura not liking him back after s6, their talk was really nice. As much as I think they look cute together, Allura needs time to get over Lotor first, and Lance seems to be already moving on.

-> now that Kieth is back, I wonder if there was more “klance moments” for people to go crazy over

->also where has Matt been this whole time??

-> them going to earth will probably explore their families, and i really wanna see more of their lore. (Especially keith)

->Hopefully shiro finally gets a break after everything. I’m excited to see who this love interest of his is!!

Post-Season 7

-> holy fuck. yall did not lie. that was…intense.

->ultimately I did not get my pre-s7 wish then.

-> I really liked all the keith/shiro lore about their relationship. It was really sweet. Shiro was the first person (besides his dad I guess) to show him patience and kindness. That’s so heartwarming.

->added to all the motifs and references to them saving each other,,very sweet. I love found family stuff like that. so i very much liked that episode (besides the “tiny” subplot lolz)

-> Romelle (as opposed to the name I gave her: “sailor moon altean girl”) is actually so real. She and hunk have the same “only normal one” vibe and i respect that.

-> literally where was haggar/honerva this whole time. Did she take a sabbatical or something??

->this image is so chaotic…literally what are yall doing 😭

->cosmic wolf (Kosmo, apparently) dgaf I love him

-> Allura is such a cutie.. “but I’m terrible at drawing! 😔” I love her so much

->^hunk upgraded his bayard!! Yayyyyy! More character development!!!

->Axca is back! (I have since long stopped calling her “space asami girl”)

-> i think she’s a really interesting character. While the other of Lotor’s generals go for whatever seems right for them, (as you should in war) she seems to calculate things on a matter of both that and morality, while also looking at the big picture. “Well, this would save my ass, save the universe from chaos, and be morally intact…sounds good”

->^is this the klance moment? seems a little sad tbh. why Lance is like that “wait where are you going?” relax bro he’s not gonna disappear

-> they’ve been gone FOR THREE YEARS????

-> what the FREAK.

-> imagine now how their families have missed them 🙁 I’m actually so sad abt that ☹️

->the game show ep…was really funny. Idk where yall got all this angst from. New mission: write a fluff one shot post-game show.

->^i literally cannot get over this??? Like.. they could’ve really made him say anything else. “because mullet here would punch you to the end of eternity if he didn’t get out *smirk*” or something like that but no it /had/ to be that. And the others thought it was odd too, I mean look at their expressions.

->And same goes for Keith??? If you don’t wanna spend an eternity with Lance just pick yourself?? There had to be another reason. If they made all the other characters say insightful and heartfelt things about one another, why can’t Keith say anything?

-> I think because keith and Lance chose each other, making both of them say nice things would drive you guys a little crazy, so I think they tried to just “klance-proof” (like baby-proof) this season by making them barely interact unless it’s a battle or doing so in a s1/2 way

->Because otherwise keith acted…really out of character..? I think it might be to his growth on the quantum abyss trip, but it just felt so odd to watch him this season

->the “floating in space” episode was actually super interesting to watch. Going space crazy caused for their truest thoughts and desires to come out from the dark. (going to earth, what they think about each others’ actions) I thought that was really cool.

->KEITH CALLED KROLIA MOM!!! IT HAPPENED!! OMG. SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP FALLING TO MY KNEES AT WALMART!!!!!!!!🫡💪🔥🔊🗣️

->Krolia and kolivan definitely explored each other’s bodies idgaf. Kolivan is the dad that stepped up fr.

->Colleen Holt is an icon. She’s a girlboss. She’s a legend. I love her so much. Sam better watch out 🤛👊🤜

->^from “who is this divaaaa 😍😍” to “OMG GIRL LANCE??? 😮😁” to “OMG LANCE’S SISTERRRRR😆🤩”

->^is this not the “the pilot crashed!” girl from 1x01??

->tbh i literally could give less of a fuck about these people. The girls seem cool I guess. But I don’t really care about any of them.

->also no way they deadass named a dude kinkade. That was wild even for them (I’m so sorry if it’s a cultural thing)

->^I love it when they do little homage bits like referencing back s1 or 2 like this

->^screaming crying throwing up.

->^^that hug between pidge and her mom..i felt that. that shit was personal. Ya’ll see the way she held on to her? Diabolical work. (I’m tearing up as I type this)((that’s exactly how I’ve held my mom b4))

->^^^“uncle lance!” STOP. DON’T DO THIS TO ME. I CAN’T DO THISSSSSS *screams*

->HUUUNNNKKKK. MY BOYYYYY. UGHHHHHH. I’m gonna die

-> I will say this tho, I’m glad he’s getting a lot of focus and attention his way these last few seasons (6&7). Like yes!! Give the realest mf in the whole show the attention and appreciation he deserves!!!

->I was so happy when he got his parents back like I genuinely did a little celebratory dance (jumping up and down and going “yes!yes!yesyesyesyes! yeeeessssssss!” while doing exaggerated hand gestures)

->Adam fucking died.

->not even one scene showing his and shiro’s positive interactions. or them being romantic. one and a half scenes. And then he’s gone.

-> while, for the most part, I try to understand the writers faults further than just face level, (ie netflix or dreamworks just didn’t let them explicitly put anything there) idk I just. I feel like they could’ve at least played it off as them being “good friends” or something. But to kill him off is just…it feels wrong.

->and it feels like a wrong for shiro too. He finally gets to be on earth after everything that’s happened to him, and the one thing he’d been hoping to finally see,,is gone.

->I just feel like they did shiro dirty. they can never give that poor man a break.

->^I was right! Keith is definitely acting different because of his growth on the quantum abyss (or “space whale” as people seem to call it). It’s nice to know he’s matured and stuff, and can actually say what he feels and such, be a good team member/leader. I just wish it wasn’t all off-screen. (and while I’m happy for him..I do miss his more broody early-season self a bit)

->as much as I think allurance is cute, I feel like they’re kinda rushing it. Like. by the time they got to Earth it had barely been a month of being stuck in space post-s6. Maximum it’s been 3 months by the time of the final battle. she would not be blushing. She would be mourning Lotor. They could’ve had a little subplot about that,,the crushing weight of knowing she could’ve both stopped his death and the guilty feeling of “why am i mourning him..? He was a bad person” because she still loved him!! She still loved him when they were about to leave him in the quintessence field and she felt conflicted!!

->she would’ve also not caught feelings that fast. Let’s say she somehow miraculously got over Lotor in 2 months. (minimum!) she still wouldn’t have caught feelings! Maybe she would start like. the budding processes to begin to fall for lance…but she wouldn’t be blushing and being all bashful like that.

-> basically all I’m saying is I really hope they don’t rush this. It would feel unfair to both her and Lance. Allura literally was like “oh..😕 he said that..☹️?” In s6 when the mice told her about Lance’s feelings because she felt bad about breaking his heart.

->and Lance has literally been after her for a really long time,, so it’d be unfair to pair him with someone who only started liking him like a week ago.

->I also hate the “guy pines after girl, girl doesn’t reciprocate and turns him down a lot, guy almost gives up, girl starts falling for him just as the show ends after not showing any interest previously” trope. (I am aware Allura and Lance do share some more sweet and romantic scenes/moments in s4-6, but you catch my drift, right?)

-> I really hope they put it well in s8.

->^I got to that Lance scene I’ve seen everywhere and just. Wow. it was so intense. I actually got chills. Amazing work from the animation crew yet again.

-> the final battle was sooo amazing and so beautiful.

->the atlas stuff kinda threw me off tho.

->that admiral sanda girl was a bitch (i do not use that term lightly, especially for female characters) and not to sound like a maniac im glad she died ngl. She was stupid as hell if she thought her plan would work.

->also if the galra can invent something that can easily overpower Voltron, then why don’t they just take over the universe themselves?? They clearly have the resources to.

->seriously the atlas’s stuff was insane. Fym it’s a ship that makes a bigger, cooler, grizzled Voltron??(yes I will forever use that joke)

->^because like. Then what do you need Voltron for??

->like the pacing and plot twists and shit felt so off and out of nowhere this season.

->and the real kicker was the altean chick controlling that giant monster thang. literally what the freak. where the cameras at I know I’m getting pranked right now. they were just pulling shit out of their asses by then.

->again, need to say, if it weren’t for that altean chick, this could’ve also been a good ending?? like after reading the Wikipedia page I found out they had a 72 episode contract, so they need to get those last episodes out, (76 total, I did the math) but if anything I think it would be best if it was just a little anthology sort of thing. Like them defeating the rest of the galra left out, freeing planets, and focusing on their own lives and relationships (during and after). That would be probably the best course of action for s8.

->but apparently it has a “bad ending” (which I’m pretty sure is just ship stuff and people exaggerating)

->erm yeah that’s pretty much it. I think. Yay!

These are thoughts I compile over time. I finished Season 7 on 10/12/24. I apologize for my delay on posting this, I was meant to post it last week. I will now finally start what you have probably all been waiting for: Season 8.

Remember, my ask box is always open!! Feel free to ask anything on my opinions and such!!

[mcxcuseme13]

I'm on week 3 of being indoctrinated into the F1 (Lando Norris) fandom. Obviously, being 21 days in, I don't know much, so I've come here to learn anything I can. But also find a space to vent, as my mom doesn't care, and my essentially only friend only cares about how good Lando and Charles look. Unfortunately, said friend also compared Oscar to a Gregg's Sausage Roll, which my American brain can't comprehend.

I don't have much to add about my journey other than 21 or so days ago to now. 6 months ago, F1 started popping up everywhere, but it got real bad 3 weeks ago. My friend DMed Lando asking to be him because that's her dream job. Not being an F1 driver. Being Lando Norris. From then Lando was appearing everywhere so I bought a Lego car hoping he'd go away but he didn't. I suppose this is the part where I say my favorite f1 things are. My favorite drivers are (in specific order), Oscar, Lando, and Logan. I don't have a favorite team. I guess there's a debate online about not picking a team for it's drivers so I'm neutral. I guess this might also be controversial, but I didn't pick my drivers based on looks or ability (obviously). It was more of a personality thing.

What I already know/have learned:

I'm an Oscar & Lando fan, not a McLaren one. Apparently, strategy and ownership is pretty wack, but Oscar still won today, which makes me very happy

People aren't ever happy when someone wins

But I feel like we should just be happy that the same person is winning over and over again

Max Verstappen wins a lot

He also has a theme song, so that's pretty cool

It's pronounced Sharles Le-clare, not Charles Leclerk

The Monaco Curse (very scurry)

Leclerc Family Tree

Fans are more interested in 2 dogs' lives than the 2 drivers they're attached too (still sold separately)

It doesn't matter how much Logan Hunter Sargent may suck, he is still everyone's baby bald eagle

And the technical stuff is still iffy. I'm pretty good with teams, drivers, etc. though

I'm sure I'm missing some stuff, but if anyone would be so kind to explain anything to me, I'd be very grateful 🫶

[charlugeist]

Link to GoFundMe

TW: abuse, mentions of suicide

Sorry for the long read, but if you have the time, I’m begging.

I’m on my hands and knees right now. I hate how even the GoFundMe page has to be vague but the abuser and family in question have been known to stalk spaces despite telling us all to stay away, but yet they themselves won’t.

To add just a little more transparency in the situation within the GFM page since I’m hoping they don’t look at Tumblr, one of my friends lives with a mutual friends of ours. This roommate is a longtime friend of us both, knew her for several years, so it was no surprise that a couple years ago, they started to live together. It was easier to believe the obsessiveness and jealousy of our mutual was one-off lapses of (we’ll call the roommate Four)’s judgement when everyone lived kinda in their own. It was repeatedly discussed and things seemed to get better but we didn’t realize it was actually snowballing for the worst.

Over the past year, it has escalated to a breaking point. Four’s emotions erupted and in May, she and her own mother stormed her shared home with Anna and forced Anna to lock herself in her room as they banged and screamed against the door, throwing things and demanding she comes out. Ever since end of May, Anna has been on-and-off harassed by not only Four, but her family too. As of today, Four’s own aunt texted Anna with a vague threat. They want Anna out the home, but she has nowhere to go that would especially take in her two cats. She is hoping to find a new roommate somehow with Lee.

Four has tried therapy but instead continues to repeatedly relapse in this toxic behavior and now has been caught snooping through Anna’s messages and accounts. She has chosen to not go to a hospital when the idea was brought up, and her mom refuses the idea now despite the mom herself also mentioning it might be for the better. Four has also repeatedly threaten to end herself or “go missing”, specifically targeting Anna as Four knows Anna has lost someone this way in the past, with her and her mom making sure to repeat to Anna that “she would be to blame.”

I hate I want to go into more detail, but I am terrified her family will realize who I’m discussing and try to hurt my friends and I more than they have already tried.

Thank you if you made it this far. Anything helps. If you can’t donate even a little, it would mean a lot of you at least shared, reblogged anything.

[arizona2004]

Courts of Love and Hate. CH 9

Nyx x Juniper (Tamlins daughter)

WC:3288

Not edited, also I think this one has SMUT at the end. I should probably check before I post, I have no idea what’s in it... oops

Juniper

My father tries pulling me back as soon as he notices but Nyx pulls me toward him instead.

“What are you playing at,” Father hisses at Nyx’s parents. 

“Nothing,” Feyre says. “The deal was our daughter will marry one of your sons, not specifically the oldest.”

“You should be happy about this,” Rhys says. “This way if one of them can’t fulfill the deal, there’s always a backup. And no one could have guessed about the bond.”

Father glares for another long moment before stepping back toward his seat.

“If everyone could stand up and move toward the edge of the room, that would be most appreciated,” Feyre says, using magic to make her voice sound throughout the room.

Everyone moves to the side and in a matter of a minute chairs are moving through the air and tables are appearing out of thin air. Everything quickly organizes itself around the room while space is made in the center for a dance floor.

“We’re married,” Nyx whispers beside me, his hand reaching to grip mine.

I turn, smiling up at him, and grip his hand tighter before moving toward my brothers.

“This is totally awesome,” Oak's excited voice. “I’ve always wanted a tattoo.”

“It's not just an ordinary tattoo,” Kai says.

“I know, I’m not stupid. It’s still cool.”

Kai just rolls his eyes and turns, noticing our arrival. 

“You don’t hate the tattoo too much, do you?”

He shrugs in response, looking me up and down as if searching for some injury. 

“I’m fine, Kai. This will turn out for the best, I’m sure.”

He nods, still not saying anything before a voice interrupts the silence.

“Congratulations,” a tall, dark skinned male says, approaching us. “I’m Helion.” He holds his hand out to me.

“Highlord of the Day Court,” I say, recognizing him.

“Mother above,” Oak’s tone is all awe, his eyes practically popping out of his skull.

“Helion, this is my brother Oak: lover of history and books.”

“Ahh.” 

“It’s my dream to come visit your court. I want to see all the libraries.

“That can be arranged,” Helion says, a fond smile brightening his expression. “I’m not too strict about who enters my court.”

The comment is simple enough but I don’t think any of us miss the dig about Father’s strict border laws.

“I’ll ask my father,” Oak says, ignoring it as he rambles out some questions about the history of Helion's court.

Nyx and I, though, silently step away so we can greet his family before welcoming all the other guests.

“I think this is going better than expected,” the male I already know as Cassian says to the Highlord as we approach. 

“Mates,” the Highlady says, “I can hardly believe it.”

“It’s quite a shock,” The Highlord agrees.

“Hey,” Nyx says, interrupting as he pulls me closer. 

“How are you both feeling?” Feyre asks.

“Wonderful,” I answer honestly, finally letting the excitement of finding my mate show. 

“It’s surprising to realize we’re mates,” Nyx says, “but we’re excited.”

Nyx

Uncle Azriel’s expression makes it clear he doesn’t believe our false surprise at being mates, and I wonder if he’s known as long as I have that she’s my mate. Or longer? Mom and Dad are clearly surprised, though, and maybe a little apprehensive at the prospect. 

The genuine support coming from Uncle Cas, though, is enough to keep my spirits high. 

“This is probably the best turn of events we could have hoped for. Surely the two of you will find happiness being mated.”

“Not all mates are meant to be,” Dad says. I know he doesn’t mean it as the dig it is, only thinking about his own parents’ marriage, but it still hurts a little.

“We’re going to greet some guests,” I say, turning away quickly.

“Ow,” I hear Dad complain as we leave. Mom probably hit him over the head, the thought brings a smile to my face.

-

The rest of the long night passes in a blur of dancing and drinking and talking. We barely have any time to actually eat because even while everyone else is enjoying the meal people are getting up to greet us or give speeches. 

The one my parents give actually brings tears to my eyes and I know the same is true for Juniper and the speech her brothers give.

Guests don’t start leaving until well after midnight and even then we still stay until the sun is nearly rising. Several guests still remain, but figuring it's not my problem as the newly wed, I grab Juniper's hand and winnow us to her brothers for a quick goodbye.

She has to wake Oak, who’s sleeping on Kai’s shoulder, but within ten minutes her hand is in mine again while I winnow us through space.

Her breath visibly escapes her as we land on the front steps of the townhouse. I have to hold her up by the waist at first.

“Sorry, I’m not used to winnowing that far.”

I hum, nuzzling the side of her face before pressing a kiss to her cheek, ensuring she knows I understand and am far from upset.

“Nyx, where are we?” she asks, obviously noticing the house we’re standing in front of.

“This is Velaris: the City of Starlight. The house is a gift from my parents.”

“A gift?”

“Mhmm. My Dad bought it centuries ago, they lived here before building the River Manor.”

“River Manor?”

“I can take you there another time, can we start our honeymoon first?”

“Honeymoon?”

“Are you just going to ask one word questions all day?”

“No.”

“Not a question but still one word.” I laugh and jump out of the way as Juniper swats at me. 

“I’m just tired.”

I nod to show my understanding and swiftly scoop her up, ignoring her squealing protest. “Shh, just let me carry you to bed. We both are probably sleep deprived.”

She gives up her escape attempt as we reach the door, her wiggling immediately ceasing as she wraps her arms around my neck and lays her head on my shoulder.

“You gave up easily.”

“The relief to my feet is a really good motivator.”

A smile brightens what I’m sure is an exhausted expression on my face as I swing the door open and walk us into the foyer.

“I had the whole house cleaned and whatever furniture remained uncovered, a lot of it was moved to the new house though.”

“It’s beautiful,” Juniper whispers, looking around as much as she can from her place in my arms. “We’ll have to go shopping, though.”

Another smile graces my face, hurting my cheeks, and I can’t help but wonder if it's because I’ve never smiled this much in my life. “I’d like to pick out furniture with you,” I whisper against her neck before placing a small kiss there and carrying her up to our bedroom.

Juniper 

We collapse onto the bed, neither of us having the energy to even undress. Until the rising sun peeks through the curtain wide window, that is.

“Ugh,” Nyx groans, sitting up. “Your bags are in the closet,” he says, turning toward me as I doze off. “Juniper,” he whispers.

I sit up immediately, forcing my tired eyes open. 

“You’re so beautiful with that exhausted look on your face,” Nyx says.  

I glare in response, making him burst out in laughter.

“I love you,” he whispers against my cheek, leaning in closer than we’ve been in days. I can’t help but drop my head back, allowing him the space to continue his path down my neck.

A small moan escapes me, eliciting a groan from him: something I want to hear everyday for the rest of my life, but he pushes away instead, and stands before going to the closet, motioning its light on.

“Come on, love,” he says, pulling his own sleepwear from the dresser. “Don’t you want to put on some pajamas?”

“I have some on under the dress,” I say, voice groggy, as I roll onto my stomach and pull my hair over my shoulder.

He moves silently before carefully unbuttoning the gown. My sigh is loud as the dress visibly loosens, no longer squeezing me so tightly. I can feel him watching as I pull the straps of the dress down my shoulders and kick it to the floor before rolling back over.

His voice is hoarse as he speaks, “That’s hardly a nightgown.” 

The slip in question is silk, stopping at the top of my thighs, with a lace neckline that cuts lower than any dress I’ve ever worn. On top of that its form fitting, hugging the curve of my breasts and bottom.

“It's a bridal nightgown, Nyx, basically just lingerie,” I say, too tired to feel self conscious.

“Lingerie,” he repeats before audibly swallowing.

“I can change if you want,” I offer.

“No. No, don’t change,” he says. “But if you’re wearing that, don’t expect me to sleep in a shirt.”

“Whatever makes you comfortable,” I mumble, rolling over again to hug the pillow beneath my head.

Nyx groans loudly behind me, bringing a smile to my lips and a new kind of excitement to the sensitive place between my thighs. A rustling sound alerts me to Nyx changing and I open my eyes as he moves to the window and closes the blinds before laying on the bed next to me.

We lay silently for several minutes before his fingers graze mine and a shocked gasp escapes me.

“Sorry,” he whispers, pulling his hand away.

“No,” I say, moving closer to him,” hold me.”

“I don’t think I can hold you without doing something neither of us is awake enough for,” he says, but still wraps his arms around me and pulls my back flush against his front.

I think for a moment that we really won't fall asleep, Nyx clearly awake below the belt, but he kisses me on the shoulder and whispers, “sleep,” so softly that I have no choice but to obey.

-

Nyx

I wake with an ache in my groin and a warm weight on top of my chest. Blinking my eyes open, the first thing I notice is the golden blond curls. Then I realize that the hair in front of me is Junipers and she’s sprawled across my chest.

My chest lifts as I take a deep breath in, moving Juniper's body with mine. She doesn’t even stir, her eyelids continue to flutter as she dreams and mumbles under her breath about something or another. 

Blinking in the dark room I notice the sun is still shining behind the curtains so it’s still  day at least. Eventually gaining some sight I find the clock and make out the time. Early in the afternoon. 

I let loose another breath and wrap my arms around Juniper's frame, needing to hold her closer. Her voice increases in volume, but her words are still incoherent, the only sign she hasn’t woken as she stirs in my arms and nuzzles closer.

Her hips wiggle against me in the process, bringing attention to my lower half and making me harder. I groan as softly as I can manage but not soft enough. Juniper stirs again, her eyes fluttering open this time.

“Nyx?” Her voice is groggy, deep with sleep, and that seems to make my erection worse. I’m throbbing in my pants at this point, Juniper must feel it but has no qualm at all, wiggling more.

“June, stop,” I groan, not even able to get her full name out.

“What’s wrong? We haven’t done it yet, don’t you want to?”

“Of course I do, but I don’t want you to feel pressured.”

“I don’t. I’ve been thinking about this since the bond clicked…and maybe for a little while before.”

We stare at one another for a long moment, but when she bites her lower lip I can’t hold back any more. Rolling over I press Juniper to the bed and hover above her. 

“You’ve thought of me like this?” She nods. “You’ve thought of me making love to you?” Another nod. “Did you touch yourself?” She hesitates but nods again. 

I groan and lean in to capture her lips between mine, needing to taste her. “Juniper-” I start but kiss her again, not ready to confess.

“Nyx,” she moans against my mouth, making it more difficult to hold my orgasm off.

“I’ve never actually-” I cut myself off and swallow the lump in my throat as she moves her gaze back to my face. “I’ve never actually done this before,” I admit. 

‘You haven’t?” She seems a little surprised.

“I hadn’t when we met, and I had no desire to be with anyone but you after.”

She whimpers beneath me, pulling me closer to kiss me more deeply. “Neither have I.”

 I smile against her mouth, slipping my tongue in to stroke along hers. Then, moving down, I press a few gentle kisses to her jaw before moving to kiss her lips and press my hips to hers. She lets out a soft moan against my mouth as I grind down harder against her.

I pull back after a long few minutes, breathing heavily, and gaze down at the space between us, her breasts pushing up against my chest. “Can I pull this down?” I ask, needing to see her naked breasts.

She swallows and nods, holding still as I take the tiny silk straps and move them off her shoulders and further down her arms until the neckline is against her sternum and her breasts are in the open air.

Unable to help myself, I lean forward and dart out my tongue to flick one of her nipples. Then, cupping one in each hand, I move closer to take more of her into my mouth. I nip and suck and lick until she’s writhing beneath me, completely lost for breath.

With my hands on her thighs, I shove the little bit of nightgown covering her thighs up, and press my still covered cock against her clothed cunt. I kiss her neck, sucking the sensitive bits of skin for long moments while grinding harder and faster, barely able to control myself while she whimpers and whines and grips my shoulders.

My hands travel down to her breasts again as I pull my hips away, afraid I blow too soon if I keep going. Kneading one with my right hand, I suckle the other, biting gently at her sensitive nipple.

“Nyx- touch me,” she begs.

“I am touching you,” I say back, smirking against the valley between her breasts.

“Not there.”

“Where?”

“Nyx,” she groans in frustration. “Don’t make me say it.”

I don’t bother replying, moving back up to kiss her jaw, still keeping my hips away from hers.

“Please, Nyx. Touch my pussy.”

“Mmm, good girl,” I whisper, not entirely sure where the words come from, but glad I said them as her breath hitches. 

I snake one hand down her body, pleased with the shivers the run through it in my wake as I stroke over her clothed pussy. I groan at the feeling of her soaking through her underpants and tear them away, needing to get closer.

Juniper

I arch up into Nyx’s grasp, needing to feel him closer. He rubs his thumb against my clit in fast delicate motions that make me moan uncontrollably. In only a few motions the rest of my night gown is off and on the floor, and Nyx is kissing down my chest.

He moves lower and lower, still stroking at the apex of my thighs, until his face is level with my pussy. His tongue laps out, eager to taste, and almost as soon as he starts I begin shaking, cumming beneath him.

Nyx shoves his tongue deeper, tasting me in no way I ever imagined a male would. 

“Please,” I moan, helplessly, needing him to come closer to me, be nearer.

In a flash Nyx is above me, his skin glowing faintly, as he presses my legs farther apart and moves his chest closer to mine.

“Nyx,” I whisper, gripping his shoulders as he shoves down his pants, releasing his hard, thick length.

“Shh,” he soothes. “I’ll try to be gentle. I promise.”

With that, he nudges his cock at my entrance, stretching me slightly around the tip of him. I gasp, suddenly in need of air, and hold onto him tighter. Nyx draws soothing circles on my back where he’s holding me closer to him and slowly pushes in further. 

In a few short, slow thrusts his pelvis is even with mine, his cock filling me. We lay like that for a few minutes, both of us breathing heavily as we try to adjust to the new feeling.

“Does it still hurt?” Nyx hedges, nuzzling my neck.

“Only a little.”

He nods in response and pulls out slightly before moving back in. He keeps moving, slowly at first but then with harder thrusts as I relax around him. I moan as he hits the small spot deep inside of me that makes me quiver involuntarily.

“Nyx!” I practically scream it as he hits it again immediately after. Then again and again.

“Right there?” He asks, gripping me tighter as he pumps faster. “I’m so close, Juniper.”

I nod and hold him tighter as a moan tears from my throat, making it impossible for me to say anything at all. Nyx moans above me too, setting his head in the crook of my neck while he moves his hips into mine. I grip his back, digging my nails in, and actually scream as my orgasm rushes through me and Nyx’s fills me. 

He pulls out after a moment and collapses onto the bed beside me. We lay like that for several minutes before Nyx crawls out of bed and over to a bathroom. He comes back with a warm, wet towel and gently cleans the mess between my legs. 

We sleep for a few hours more after that before continuing this little routine of ours a few more times. Two days after the wedding when I wake in the morning I finally roll out of bed. Nyx is gone but the sounds from downstairs let me know he’s cooking breakfast. 

A few times in the past couple of days I’ve woken to the fresh smell of food, Nyx having brought me breakfast in bed. This time, having woken up already, I wrap a silk dressing gown around my exhausted frame and leave to search for my husband.

It’s about time I got a look at the rest of the house anyway. Before going toward the large staircase I walk along the hall and open the various doors. Most of them lead to bedrooms with covered furniture, but a few are completely empty.

When I finally go downstairs, a peek into the sitting room, only one set of armchairs sits beside  the large fireplace and a few bare shelves are littered around the room. 

The dining room is worse off, though. There’s no table or chairs, only a rolled up rug pushed to the side.

“This might be the emptiest room in the house,” Nyx says, coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist. “A blank canvas for you to paint.”

“For us to paint.”

“What about the kitchen? What’s in there?”

He grabs my hand, pulling me down the small hall while he talks. “A few pots and pans, some bowls and plates and utensils. No stools, though. That’s why we’ve been eating in bed.”

I smile, spinning in his grasp to kiss him gently on the lips. “Let's make a list then.”

[hyunnieshannie]

EX

Chapter 2: A person you can date, not marry.

Pairing: Han Jisung x Fem. Reader

Word Count: 5,179

General Synopsis: Your ex? Shitty. Your family? Worse. Your best friend? Left for a tour in the middle of one of the worst times of your life. How are you meant to deal with planning what should have been your wedding, dealing with your family, and pretending like you're not falling apart all on your own?

General Warnings: Idol!Jisung, mentions of other Idols (P1Harmony/Seventeen), all views on these idols are purely fictional. Idol AU. Mentions of cheating, mentions of smoking and drug use (weed and cigarettes), Mentions of drinking, angst, self esteem issues, depression. Y/N is older than Jisung. (I'm sorry for the jokes that come out of this) (any tags I missed please feel free to let me know! More tags to be added as the story goes on.)

→ A/N: Welcome back to 'EX' I hope you guys enjoy this second part <3 I will be creating a full master list for all fics soon, thank you guys for your patience. I've had a random run for this story, and it's been taking up space in my head so I just HAD to get it out there! Please enjoy <3 ALSO if you would like to be added to the tag list for this series please don't be shy to message me any time <3

PREVIOUS ꕀ❀ꕀ SERIES MASTER LIST ꕀ❀ꕀ NEXT

The lunch for the most part went well, the boys discussing their future plans with their respective groups. Meanwhile you spent most of your time staring at your phone at the hundreds of incoming texts from Leah. 

We should start planning right away! ~Leaaah

Sure.~Y/N

I'm so excited! ~Leaaah

I’m sure, it’s a huge event. ~Y/N

For the bachelorette party, I only have like 3 friends, maybe Stepheee can invite some of the girls from his company! ~Leaaah

You sigh at the message, Leah still hasn't made any of her own friends; and now she expects your friends to invite idols to her bachelorette party. 

“Is she fucking serious?” Taeyang mutters, you turn to him seeing now that he’d been peeking over reading your messages. It was a normal occurrence, whenever you’d be on your phone he’d usually look over at what you were doing. It never bothered you, you had nothing to hide. Surely he had expected to see you scrolling through instagram or twitter, looking at memes or something music related, but not this. 

Keeho was quick in snatching your phone, and reading over the messages. Intak leaned close to him as he also read through them. “Fuck, no.” Keeho says bitterly, “Not happening,” 

“Three friends is fine for a party, why does she specifically want random girls at her party?” Intak asks, Jisung who sat there confused looks between the three of you. 

“Because Leah is an all out kind of person, she wants a big huge party for everything.” Keeho sighs, as he scrolls through your other messages, “If she wants a celebrity party she can ask Jeonghan, why should I ask girls from my company to go? Her fiance should be forcing her to make friends, not me.” her fiance. Echoed through your mind, 

 “Wait what, Jeonghan is getting married?” Jisung says through a bite of his sandwich, 

“Yeah, to Y/N’s sister.” Intak says quietly, Jisung stares back at him as he processes the information, 

“I thought he was single? Didn’t he like, just get out of a four year relationship?” Jisung asks, placing his sandwich back down on its plate and looking directly at you,

“Five years actually,” you whisper, Jisung looks at you confused as the table falls silent, Keeho still eagerly reading through your messages.

“You fucking agreed?” Keeho scoffs, disappointment written across his face, “Why would you agree to be her maid of honor Y/N!” 

“Well what was I supposed to do Kee? She’s my sister!” you fiddle with your fork poking at the salad in front of you, your hunger completely dissipated from the stress, causing your stomach to twist leaving you feeling nauseous. Jisung opens his mouth to speak but is immediately interrupted by Keeho who seems to be angrier than you are at this moment.

“You’re supposed to say ‘No sorry I don’t feel like helping you organize your wedding with my ex’ and leave it at that!” Keeho exclaims, you know he had a point but your morals of ‘Family first’ would never allow you to do such a thing, 

 “Wait one more second, you’re his ex?” you nod at him as he stares at you wide eyed, great now he knows about my miserable love life. “And now he’s marrying your sister?” his words burn into your brain, engraved there now and probably for the rest of your life. “And she wants Keeho to do what exactly?” 

“Invite girls from our company to go to her bachelorette party.” Intak sighs, “I feel used.” 

“YOU feel used? I’ve known Leah all her life, and now she’s asking me to introduce her to idols? She can ask her fiance if she wants that, but I will not be doing it.” 

“Guys. We said we weren’t gonna talk about this.” Taeyang says as he reaches his arm across your shoulders pulling you in. You rest your head on his shoulder, as he lightly pats you. “Lets just enjoy our outing okay?” They quickly come to an agreement of not speaking of it but as you reach over to grab your phone Keeho pulls it further away. 

“You’re not getting this back.” 

“Kee, give it.”

“No. You’re gonna keep reading the messages, and make yourself sad.” He says matter-of-factly, once more the tension around the table is thick and the air is heavy as the boys all sit in silence. Keeho stares deeply into your phone as it vibrates again, his body language giving every indication that he was close to snapping on Leah. Jisung notices it quickly, and pulls the phone straight out of his hands. Keeho stares at him absolutely shocked at the action, one he didn’t expect out of Jisung who typically stayed out of situations that were none of his business. 

“Neither of you are getting it.” He says confidently, “You, as Keeho says will get sad, and you” he says pointing at Keeho, “You will only get angrier, and I personally, would like to see everyone smiling.” Keeho rolls his eyes at him, knowing what he said was true but he would still like a moment to yell at Leah. That moment would have to wait until later. ꕀ❀ꕀ

The five of you finish your food quickly, and make your way out of the building, walking down the street. You could hear your phone vibrating in Jisungs pocket and a part of you wanted to sneakily reach for it, but Taeyang had his hold on you, walking with his arm on your shoulder as Intak walked on the other side of you. “Jesus,” Jisung mutters as he pulls your phone out of his pocket, quickly turning it off. “I have an idea.” 

“Say it.” Intak says, 

“The JYP building is a block over that way,” he points in the direction of the building, “Let's go there for a second.” 

“To do what?” Intak questions, 

“Y/N hasn’t been to any of the company buildings Ji, you might overwhelm her with a tour.” Taeyang says, 

“Not for a tour, something else.” Jisung turns quickly, walking in the direction of his company's building, the rest of you following closely behind. The tension never did die down from the restaurant and everyone walked silently for the most part. Jisung walked while texting, who? No one knew. His phone rings loudly as you all arrive in front of the large building, “Hey,” he says into it, “Yeah we’re here come down.” The five of you waited in the lobby for whoever it was that called Jisung. The silence deafening as you all stood awkwardly, the sound of an elevator rings through the lobby effectively cutting through the silence. 

“Ji, I thought you weren’t coming in today.” An accented voice calls, Bang Chan, and behind him stood Hyunjin who just stared at your group. “See you later Jinnie.” Chan waves to him as he nods politely walking out of the building, 

“I’m not,” Jisung turns to Keeho, holding out his hand, “Phone. Now.” 

“What? No.” 

“If Y/N isn’t allowed to have her phone neither are we.” Jisung says flatly, Taeyang reaches into his pocket first slapping down his phone on Jisung’s hand, quickly followed by Intak, Keeho still hesitating to hand his over. 

“What if we need to call for help or something?” 

“I’ll have mine then.” 

“How is that fair?” 

“Because all of you have a connection to Y/N’s sister and I don't, therefore she won’t be bothering me, or any of you today.” 

“Ji? What is this?” Chan asks, 

“This is a phone free day with friends is what it is,” Jisung was serious about this, he was witnessing all of his friends becoming angry and hurt, and you who he’d only just met seemed to be taking it better than the three boys who claimed to be your bodyguards.

 The night before as he hung out with Intak and Taeyang, Keeho had called Taeyang. He had placed the phone on speaker as Keeho spoke of how you’d needed a distraction, how your depression would surely come back if they didn’t do anything. He had listened attentively as Intak claimed that as your (self proclaimed) bodyguard he’d make sure ‘he’ wouldn’t ever get to you again. At the time Jisung hadn’t realized that the ‘he’ in his statement had been Jeonghan.

He watched Taeyang’s face drop the second he heard you were sad, and though he felt deep inside he was intruding on a private conversation; he knew that he’d be able to understand how you felt. With his own experiences in these matters he felt he could help. So without any doubt, he had spoken out loud letting Keeho know he was present at the time, asking if Keeho would mind if he tagged along. Jisung’s impulsive need to help someone in need had taken over. He was prepared to meet one of Keeho’s friends, because if Intak, Keeho, and Taeyang had claimed you as their, (in their words) ‘seventh member’ then of course you were a good person, and good people deserve good things. 

Keeho had agreed, assuming the day would go as he planned without mention of what had happened that night, and because Keeho also had a favor to ask of Jisung, one he thought of at that moment while on the phone. 

“What if I agree to the favor you asked of me?” Jisung says under his breath, hoping for you not to hear him. Keeho sighs, placing his phone on the top of the pile. Jisung quickly turns to Chan and hands them all to him with a small, nervous smile. “Keep these safe for me will ya?”

“So you’ll do it?” Keeho says, 

“If it makes the six of you feel better then yes,” Jisung says.

“What are you two whispering about, what favor?” you ask, the two look at you. Jisung is calm. While Keeho looked panicked, 

“Nothing, just something I agreed to help with.” Jisung says as he looks at Chan who also looks concerned. 

“This isn’t gonna affect the boys is it?” Chan asks, 

“Well it won’t affect Felix, Minho, Seungmin or Jeongin,” Jisung smirks, 

“So it will affect me?” 

“Probably not, we’ll talk later about it ok? I was gonna do it tonight, but- desperate times ya know?” Chan nods, as he clutches the phones. You ponder what the favor Keeho could have asked of Jisung but it really was none of your business, what the boys did in their free time. So you dropped the question quickly. Chan looks to you as you stood there being held tightly by Taeyang, 

“Your girlfriend Theo?” he smirks, 

“Y/N unnie?” Taeyang asks, sounding almost grossed out, “NO! Of course not she-” you rip away from his grasp; looking at him with the most offended expression you could muster. 

“Tell me why you sounded grossed out right now!” you say hitting him lightly but hard enough for him to feel it, he guards himself quickly in attempts to save himself from your attack.

“Wait, Y/N stop hitting me, I'm sorry!” he pleads for his life as you hit him, “I just meant that you’re like, our best friend! No one has ever asked that before Y/N I swear I wasn’t grossed out!” you continue hitting him as he laughs,  he quickly runs behind Chan using him as a human shield, as you walk towards the pair prepared to attack him once more, 

“You sounded offended! Am I really that bad!” you say, “No, NO! You’re great I just, it's just- its- not you it's me!” Taeyang gave his best acting, as he let the words fall from his mouth, ever so cheeky as you gave him nothing but a ‘death stare’

“You’re not my favorite anymore.” 

“Y/N don’t do this! You can’t take that title from me!” 

“I already have!” you huff as you cross your arms, turning your head away dramatically. Jisung giggled as he watched the interaction, happy that all of you were at least talking and laughing now.

“Who could ever replace me?” Taeyang pouts as he comes out of hiding, grabbing you to hug you but you pull away from his reach leaving him confused, a sew stammering words leaving his lips as he searched for something to say within his brain, 

“Call Soul and tell him he’s been upgraded to best boy.” you smirk, Taeyang drops to his knees in true soap opera fashion, staring up at the ceiling dramatically. 

“How could you replace me with Soul Y/N! Please, I'll be better!” he cries out, but you turn further away from him  “Chan what have you done! Why would you ask me that!” 

“My bad, you two just looked close!” Chan giggles, 

“H-How’s it his fault, you sounded so offended! Your face when he said it, I-” Intak says between heavy breaths, clutching his stomach as he laughs loudly, crouching as tears from laughing too hard stream down from his eyes. Keeho stabilized himself against the wall as his laughing fit took over his ability to stand, “Wait!” Intak yells out, “YOU’D CALL SOUL BEFORE UPGRADING MY TITLE?” he pouts at you, giving you large puppy dog eyes. “I- I knew you never loved me!” 

“Shut up!” you laugh as you bring him into a hug, Taeyang looking at you as if you’d betrayed him as he watched you hug Intak. The laughter dies down, as the boys catch their breaths, Chan and Jisung giggling between themselves at the whole dramatic ordeal. “Anyways sorry,” you say as you wipe your tears away, “My name is Y/N” you extend your hand to Chan who takes it in a firm grip shaking it, 

“Christopher but call me Chan or Channie or Chris honestly whatever works, it’s nice to meet you Y/N. I’ve heard good things” he offers you a warm smile. Meeting Chan felt like a dream, the music major in you jumped with pure excitement at the idea of meeting the man that worked on the very songs you loved to sing to. Sure Jisung was also a part of that team, but you were no lyricist. You are a producer, and Chan embodied every aspect of a true producer. Chan was one of the people you looked up to, often watching his streams and replaying parts where he’d come up with some new beat. Only later to hear it in one of their songs, you admired his work ethics, and how he could quickly make the back track to a song while sitting on a live stream with thousands of fans clawing for his attention, begging for just one small interaction from him to read their comments. You could appreciate how he both joked, and occasionally flirted with the fans while also staying focused on his task. Multi-tasking was not one of your strong suits. You couldn’t even begin to imagine what the room would feel like if he didn’t have the distractions of his adoring fans. You had many questions about it all, what equipment he used, if he preferred to work in silence or with light music playing, what kind of mixing console he used. What was it like working with seven other people each having their own style. You had heard their solo songs on youtube, and it fascinated you how different each person was. Yet how well organized they were as the group he formed. He had chosen them all, hand picked them for his own reasons and managed to create a unique sounding group. They weren’t some group that a company cherry picked and placed together, no. They were all different, with so many bold personalities, and for that you respected them, you respected him.

“You have?” 

“Yeah, those three don’t shut up about you,” he nods to your favorite three idiots, before looking back to you, “I hope to see one of your famous car performances live, one day! The video Keeho sent, of you singing Cheese was quite entertaining,” he chuckles, your face burns red, as you slowly turn to the three boys who now stood looking at you in panic, 

“Y/N…” Keeho says as he raises his hands, “Let us explain-”  

“You took a video!” you say as you step towards them, “And then sent it to people?!” 

“Run.” Intak says, as the three of them turn sprinting out of the building, so quickly it almost looked cartoonish, it reminded you of how Shaggy would run from ghosts in Scooby-Doo, a stuttering step before he actually took off running. 

“I’m going to kill them.” you mutter, still smiling wide. You should have expected this, especially from those three idiots. “It was nice meeting you Chan, but I have three children to scold.”

“Oh, man do I understand how you feel!.” Chan smiles, 

“It’s that single parent life am I right?” he lets out a loud laugh, nodding as you turn to hunt down your three grown up toddlers. Jisung quickly waves goodbye as he speedwalks his way over to you, smiling widely as he looks at your very determined expression. 

After finally catching up to the three boys you scolded them for a solid minute as they all sat there with their tails between their legs. Taeyang wanting to be back on your good side was the first to fold, placing all of the blame on Keeho as he claimed it was his idea. Keeho folded next, claiming that it was Intak who took the video,  while Intak stood there looking sorry for his crime. The four of you laughed it off as Jisung mentioned how the video was really quite the experience. 

ꕀ❀ꕀ

The five of you continued about your day doing whatever came to mind, a bit of window shopping and taking pictures on Jisung’s phone in every ‘fun’ or ‘pretty’ location you came across, since he had decided to take everyone else’s away. Keeho cracked jokes the whole time and slowly you forgot about agreeing to be Leah’s maid of honor. You enjoyed the company, and by the end of the day you had laughed so hard with each of them that you swore you would gain abs from the killer workout it gave your core. 

Your stomach grumbled loudly as sat on the swings in a park you had all stopped in. Intak who heard it laughed out loud, “Y/N/N is hungry!” he says as he gets up from the swing. Taking your hand in his as he leads you away from the group who follow eagerly for dinner, “Want me to text the guys? They should be around, maybe we can all go to that one place Y/N likes for dinner” 

“How are you gonna do that when Chan has our phones?” you giggle, 

“Shit. I forgot,” 

“Idiot,” you say lovingly as you squeeze his hand. 

“I got it,” Jisung says, stopping to pull his phone out. He quickly sends out a few texts and continues following, “Here,” he says handing you his phone, “Google the place” you quickly type in the name of your favorite restaurant and hand it back to him, he clicks on the call button and lift the phone to his ear. He quickly makes a reservation nodding to you all as he confirms everything. You walk hand in hand with Intak as he tells you about how hard everyones been working for their upcoming tour. The other three walked in front of you, as they discussed what they would be ordering. 

“I’m excited for you to be in the city Y/N, it’ll be nice not waiting for you to drive an hour to hang out.” he whispers, smiling wide at you. 

“In the city?” 

“Yeah, has he not told you yet?” 

“Told me what?” 

“Oh, shit.” Intak whispers, his hand now squeezing yours out of nervousness. “I should let Keeho tell you.” Tell me what? A pit forms in your stomach, the anxiety of not knowing something Keeho has planned courses through your veins, your heart pumps quickly as you overthink the situation. Why would I be in the city? Is he kicking me out? I like our home though. Intak quickly lets go of your hand and rushes up to Keeho, whispering to him quickly. Keeho whispers something back, and Intak looks a bit relieved, He always tells me everything… you think to yourself, what is he hiding from me. 

ꕀ❀ꕀ

Jisung holds the door open for all of you as you walk into the restaurant. The delicious smells overwhelm your senses, as you sink into a sense of familiarity, but still your brain persists. Reminding you of all the times you had been here with Jeonghan. 

As you all sat waiting for everyone else to arrive, you thought more and more of everything Leah and Jeonghan could have possibly done while you were completely unaware of everything. Had he brought her here? Did he tell her the sweet words of adoration he once told you? The stress built up until you had, had enough. You stand silently, as the others watch. Leaving your spot between Taeyang and Keeho to step outside. Pulling the pack of smokes from your pocket and quickly lighting one up. You inhaled deeply, the familiar head rush from the nicotine hitting hard in the cold winter air. You stood in the cold with no jacket, as the wind sent chills down your spine causing small goosebumps to run up your arms. Your legs shook, partially from the cold and partially from the thought of Jeonghan. How could he have done this to you? How could he have left you for her? How could she have taken him with open arms after you had cried for countless hours. She had known the whole time how much you adored him, she had always known how you felt. But in your time of need, when you were absolutely heart broken. She was madly in love with him. You never sought out comfort with Leah during the breakup, how could you knowingly seek her out while she slept next to him? You felt like you had no one, even though you were surrounded by amazing friends, you truly felt completely, painfully, alone. Nothing feels worse than being in a room full of people willing to help, yet feeling so helpless, useless and unlovable. Maybe you were truly destined to be alone. You think back to the words an old classmate back home once said to you in a drunken ramble. “You are the type of girl people date. Not marry.” a reality you now felt the need to accept. 

“What does that even mean?” Jisung asks as he walks up behind you, he had come out to check up on you since you hadn’t returned for a few minutes. Figuring by now you’d be cold without your jacket. He drapes it around your shoulders as you continue your smoke, exhaling a thick gray cloud, a mix of smoke, and your warm breath showing in the cold winter air. 

“It means, I’m good enough to have around for short term things, not good enough for the long term.” Jisung thinks over the statement carefully selecting his next words. 

“I don’t really know you,” he starts. You open your mouth to apologize but he quickly cuts you off, “But I wouldn’t say that’s true. From what I’ve seen people enjoy having you around. You’ve been the bigger person in a shitty situation, and you handled today well. Don’t say things like that about yourself. You’re in your early twenties, and one guy isn’t the end all be all. He fucked up, but that doesn’t mean its the end for you. Guys are dumb sometimes, and they don’t commit to thinking of the long term very often, but there’s still so much time left Y/N, you have so much time to meet someone, fall in love, get married, do whatever your heart wants.”

“I just feel like it was a waste of five years.” 

“Five years ago what were you doing?” Jisung turns to you, as you answer. 

“I was back in Toronto.”

“Were you happy?” 

“Not really.”

“Why are you here?” 

“Because Jeonghan wanted me to be closer.” 

“Did you become happier here?” 

“For a while,” 

“Forget about the issues right now, did you become happy?” 

“Yes.” 

“What did you do back home?” 

“What’s up with all the questions Jisung?” he sighs, 

“Just answer.” 

“Nothing. I just worked part time.” 

“What did you do coming here?” 

“I applied for college. Got in as a music major. And graduated,” 

“What else?”

“I made friends, I guess? Got a job? I don’t know Jisung?” You huff now annoyed at the overbearing amount of questions he hurled at you. 

“Was getting your degree a waste of time?” 

“No.”  

“Are your friends a waste of time?” 

“NO! Why woul-” 

“What I’m saying is Y/N, you spent five years working on yourself. You graduated college, in a subject I sincerely hope you liked. You made friends, and began to work. You stabilized your life here. Yeah, a lot of the memories are with him, but it wasn’t a waste of time. Because none of the things you achieved on your own are affected by his absence. Your degree is still yours, your job is still stable, I hope. Your friends are still here.” Jisung hoped he hadn’t overstepped any boundaries as he watched you finish your smoke, he watched your body language closely for any hints of discomfort. 

“Yeah,” you whisper, letting the filter of the cigarette fall to the ground, sizzling and burning out as it hits the snow on the ground, 

“There’s still so much time. Don’t give up on yourself now.” You weakly smile at him as he guides you back inside. ꕀ❀ꕀ

After dinner, Keeho had taken you, Intak and Taeyang home after retrieving your phones from Chan who still sat working in his practice room. Soul, Jiung and Jongseob had decided to cab back to their place, and Jisung patiently waited for Chan to finish up. “So what was it you needed to talk about?” Chan asks as he gathers his things. Placing his laptop in his bag, along with a few pages of sheet music with messily written notes jotted down. 

“It’s a talk we need to have as roommates.” Jisung sighs as he runs his hand through his hair, “I should apologize to you in advance.” 

The drive back from the studio wasn’t very long, but Jisung had to think of a way of bringing up the topic calmly. His roommates wouldn’t refuse he knew that, but he was scared of the pressure of agreeing to this without them. It would be his responsibility to make sure everything went smoothly, and after the interactions he had tonight. He was unsure if he was really a good fit to help. Sure, he could be of some use but the task at hand was large. It truly was a big ask, and he had said yes over some stupid phones. He wondered how Keeho was holding up, knowing his part of the task was probably just as bad. 

ꕀ❀ꕀ

“Y/N, can we talk?” Keeho says a hint of sadness lingering in his words, you nod. Walking over to the couch where he sat as stiff as a rock. 

“What's wrong?” He fiddles with the remote for the tv, the silence in the house was deafening. Would he finally be telling you of the thing Intak had mentioned? Maybe he really was kicking you out. 

“You know, I'm going on tour soon, and I’ll be gone for a few months.” Of course you’d known he’d be leaving, he was excited over the tour. To be able to finally see the fans again, to have them right in his reach, to see them smile and cheer, to hear them sing along to their songs. It was what kept him going his entire time as an Idol. “And, you remember that agreement we had with the company right?” there it is. This is what’s bothering him. 

“What did they ask of you-” Keeho had originally lived in the city when he offered for you to move in, but you couldn’t bring yourself to stay there. The anxiety of the city was too much after the breakup, and so Keeho had gone out of his way to find your current home. He would have to talk to his company about moving an hour from the city, but he promised he’d make it work. After some convincing the company agreed due to them being on a small break, he wouldn’t be needed in the studio as often. They also began helping him with rent but only partially but they’d only allow him to be away until his lease ended, and when the lease ended, he’d be expected to move closer to the city for work. Especially during comeback months. oh god. The lease. “Is the lease-” he nods softly, letting his head fall. 

“It ended two days ago.” 

“We should have been looking for a new place Kee, how much time do we have” 

“So.” he sighs, “We actually should start packing tomorrow, and then I’ll be storing some of my things with the boys for a bit while the company prepares the apartment for us, but it won’t be ready until I get back; which is why they thought now would be the best timing. Since I wouldn’t be here anyways-” 

“Okay, so should I start looking for a room?” 

“You have one set up already, I worked that out earlier.” 

“Earlier?” 

“Jisung,” he pauses, taking a large breath in before finally spitting out what he wanted to say “Offered to take you in with his roommates.” 

“What.” You stood there in shock, why would Jisung have offered you the place? How long had this been planned for? Had he asked when you were outside smoking? Is that why Jisung came to find you? ‘If I agree to your favor?’ Jisung's words rang through your head, and your head shot up as if you’d had some kind of epiphany. “You want me to stay with a stranger? Was that the favor you asked of him, Kee?” he nodded, offering no other explanation. “No, I’m not intruding on some random person's life for this, not happening Kee, I’ve got enough to deal with I don’t want to be thrown into some new place wi-” your eyes stung as the tears began to well, you could hardly speak without choking on your words. “No, Just No.” You had only a few days to pack up, a few stupid days to accept the fact that your comfort place, your home was going to be taken away from you, a few god damned days until your best friends leave for their tour leaving you all alone. And he wanted you to process all of that while staying in a house full of strangers? Absolutely the fuck not.

Tag List: @g4m3girl @channiesbub thank you for letting me tag you ;3

[highlordofkrypton]

the justice league's moms' book club's guide to vampire slaying, a martha kent, alfred pennyworth, atlanna & hippolyta fanfic

Chapter 1 - Martha Kent

Note: I got hit by the kudos bot, so if any of you just want to send a click my way to try and even the hits out, that would be so appreciated 😭 The inverted discrepancy stresses me out!

“Ma! Where’s my—”

“In the key bowl!”

With a crack and a spark, Barry appears out of nowhere with a short breeze chasing after him. He grabs the small silver bracelet with a grin, wiggling it at the older woman in the kitchen. “Morning, Ma!”

“Clark, I got it!” He yells before disappearing again and she has to sprawl across all her lightweight cooking paraphernalia before they join him somewhere up the stairs.

The Kent farmhouse isn’t as loud as often these days, but when it is, Martha cherishes it. She fills the house with the smell of pancake, bacon and eggs when she would otherwise make herself a relatively plain oatmeal with just a dash of sugar and whatever fresh fruit she can find. When the season’s good, she can pluck them right off the bushes she keeps close to her house. They aren’t tall enough to reach her kitchen window yet, but she hopes Clark can enjoy them the day they do.

A big breakfast is the only way to get Clark up on time without marching up to his room. The boys had stayed up late—their easy going evening had been interrupted by people in need. As soon as the meat began to crisp up on the pan, the upstairs floorboard began to creak with signs of life.

Her hair stands on end from the sudden loom of static in the air. Barry returns, a big grin on his face and asks, “How can I help?”

“Most of it’s already done, dear,” she motions to the spread across the kitchen island. Along with breakfast, there are piles of packed food waiting for their lids. “Plus, you already did this morning. You sleep-Flashed. If the greens aren’t to your liking, that’s all you.” She smiles and herds the sheepish speedster to his stool.

Martha piles a mountain of food on Barry’s plate. Cooking for Clark is enough to feed several grown men, but with Barry here, she’s made enough food for a whole village. In short, this should last Barry a day if he doesn’t pace himself. No matter how much time it takes and how many bags of groceries she needs, Martha would do it again.

“These are for you to take home. The three containers here are freezer friendly, so you can freeze them until Hal comes back from,” she pauses, trying to remember the very specific sequence of letters and numbers of the planet Barry’s husband is currently visiting.  “Space,” is what she lands on. “The rest is for you and Kom, except this one which is for little Dexter.” Martha holds up a small container meant for Barry’s sweet cat. The odds are that Komand’r might get into it first, but at the very least, Martha tried.

“No, yeah, you didn’t need to do that,” Barry chirps between bites with a smile on his face. “But thanks, Ma.” He reaches out to give her a one-armed hug, and Martha Kent lingers longer than usual. 

“I know I didn’t, but I wanted to,” she counters easily. Her own plate is a napkin on the corner of the counter where she piled all bits that fell apart in the cooking process. 

Ever since Clark found his partner-in-heroism, Barry has become a second son to Martha. She cares for him deeply, and worries about him just as much as Clark. She remembers all his important days, shows up whenever she can and offers her home whenever he wants it. So, if Clark’s getting food for the week, then Barry gets some, too. 

At times like these, an easy morning chatting around the kitchen island about their loved ones, Martha misses her husband. Look, our family’s growing, she longs to tell him. She will, one day, but for now, she keeps making memories to cherish on both their behalf.

Clark stumbles down the stairs, the hood of an extra sweater dangling on his head and luggage in hand. While he could accomplish everything at lightning speed like Barry does, he prefers doing everything the good old fashioned way. He sets his bags down at the door next to Barry’s; Martha hadn’t even noticed Barry was already packed. 

“Good morning, Clark.”

“Mornin’, Ma,” he says, planting a kiss atop her head. 

“Your plate’s over there, and your food for the week’s nearly packed. This side’s yours and the other one’s Barry’s.” She motions to the bounty before them.

“Hey! Why’s his pile bigger than mine?” Clark munches on a fluffy piece of pancake.

“Because they’re for his family, too. If you were dating, you would have a bigger pile.” Martha hums.

Clark sighs, and turns to Barry. “What’d I do to deserve this?” 

The smile on his face doesn’t fade, though. Clark and Martha have been waiting for the day their little unit would grow, and it did by way of friends who’ve quickly become family. Her jabs are meant to tease, never to harm. 

“I’m not involved in this,” Barry concedes, already on his second plate.

“Alfred has two grandchildren,” she points out. 

“Yup, you’re totally involved,” Clark agrees with her. It’s not like he’s in the running. He’s not ready; being the fun uncle until he decides what he wants to do with his life works for Clark. 

Barry chokes and sputters, and Clark helps him out with a hefty pat on the back. It dislodges the food caught in his throat as he tries to explain that he’s ‘ totallytalkingaboutitwithhisfamilyhe’sjustnotsureifhe’sreadyyet’. He speed talks through the rest of his explanation—something to do with space politics before Ma intervenes with a soft laugh.

“I’m just teasing you, Barry. Take your time and chew.” In the meantime, she will spoil her children, and their furry children, and Alfred’s grandchildren. 

The kitchen island is the hearth of her home. With a warm cup of tea cupped between her calloused hands, she listens to Clark chatter away with his best friend. Their conversations often dance across several topics from the last ball game between the Stars and the Meteors, to the stars and meteors themselves—Hal has discovered a whole new planet made of constellations with a meteor belt—and a hundred other things Martha doesn’t follow. She’s happy to be enshrouded by their happiness. 

Before long, the dishes are cleaned with lightning speed and the food is packed into their respectful parcels. Kisses are pressed to her cheeks, along with well-wishes and promises to visit soon, but not too soon. She’ll be busy this week.

“I didn’t see braised beef packed, I swore I smelled some,” Clark hums, cocking a dark brow in his mother’s direction.

“It must have been the neighbour’s,” she smiles easily and nudges him out the door. “Travel safe. Message me when you both get home.”

One, two, three… Several heartbeats later, Martha retreats back into her home. She unhooks the landline, turning the dial and letting the phone ring. 

“It’s me. They’re gone.”

photo credit @ benjamin davies

[kairithemang0]

tell me your thoughts on something (anything) (talk for as long or as short as you want)

:)

ok i've been looking for a reason to talk about this for a while and im just gonna go off the rails here

i recently started watching Colin LooksBack's disney villain retrospectives and I'm so damn obsessed with them. I've mentioned this before, I'm a disney fan through and through. No matter how much I painfully despise so many of their recent movies, nostalgia and the hope of finding something as good as their classics keeps me coming back, as disappointed as I am with their recent features from all sides of the company

I'm especially a disney history fan, I love learning about the first few decades of this company for some reason, their movies from that time aren't even my favorites but just all the old concept art and ideas from the imagineers is so cool to me. Mary Blair's work specifically, her art for Cinderella is stunning.

Disney villains specifically have just always been amazing to me. I was obsessed with Ursula as a kid, I thought she was the coolest freaking character. I love her design, her voice is amazing, I adored her then and I still do.

If we're talking about disney content creators though? Avelo (formerly known as Dreamsounds) has my heart and soul. Her videos are everything to me, they got me through covid. I was so sad when she left when she was getting her bottom surgery, worried she'd never return. I audibly gasped when I saw her return video show up on my recommended because I love her videos that much, and still do, even if it's not as disney focused.

I dunno, I think my disney obsession and Kingdom Hearts obsession go hand in hand (hah, that's a kingdom hearts song). I mean KH and disney are tied together by nature, but I got into KH for the disney. I found my moms old kh1 copy a while ago and I wished I could have the chance to play it on the ps2 (which we sadly don't have anymore). I haven't ever finished kh1, the controls are too clunky and I hate that stupid fucking camera. Even still, it's a game that matters to me a lot. KH2 does more for me in the end though, I reset the game so often just to play through Roxas's section in twilight town. it's nostalgic, not even just for playing kh but it's the type of fun me and my friends would have during our summer vacation. seeing roxas's life fall apart is scary because in some way i relate, the friendship he had with hayner, pence, and olette in the data twilight town wasnt real, and neither were my friendships with those people.

back to more regular disney, i fucking love the disney parks. honestly im so nostalgic for fastpass, i miss needing to go up to those little stands and put it on some card. i hate genie+ and lightning lane because it feels much less personal, so do the disney parks in general for me now. maybe it's because i'm getting older, i wouldnt be surprised if that was the case. even still, i love going. i mean cinderellas castle is my damn wallpaper (godddd i love that wallpaper so much....) and there are multiple of these "disney parks music" videos that i will actively use to fall asleep because idk nostalgia is a bitch. the boardwalk one is a personal favorite of mine, something about it just hits for me. me and my family went right after covid started to slow down, the boardwalk was having a soft opening and we got in for cheap. we got this amazing room overlooking the boardwalk itself, and for lack of a better word the vibes were incredible. like... WOW. we drove down, it sucked because it was exhausting and i cant be in small spaces like that for too long, but in the end it could've been worse. i had given myself this challenge to watch all the disney movies before going, i finished encanto on that drive. it's what got me back into so many of them, treasure planet specifically. it feels like every year ill just find myself obsessing over one specific disney movie around this time, last year it was tp and the tinkerbell movies. this year id say it's alice in wonderland, which ive had an obsession with for years. it's just a plotless fun movie with memorable characters that mean something to me. i dunno, im a sucker for anything nostalgic, twisted is my favorite starkid show for a reason, and i don't just love kh for it's crazy plot and characters (although that's most of it)

sorry this is REALLYYY long.....