#longwinded rambling time

[toxicnorn]

i can’t necessarily speak to discussions of transmisogyny in hp pre-2010s/2020s for virtue of the fact that i was not personally tuned into spaces that discussed this in the 2000s (this was also obviously before jkr went very publicly off the rails, though in retrospect, that was always lowkey an aspect of the series even if i didn’t pick up on it at the time; i will say that i recall jkr showing her ass on trans stuff on twitter before people give her credit for it, but i don’t remember the specifics of my timelines) but i’ve seen people very seriously say that there were no discussions of any of the problematic (i hate using that word because i associate it so much with 2013 Tumblr but there’s not really a better alternative) aspects of the books until very recently, and that’s categorically untrue and i’m going to give you a history lesson

this is very rambly and unedited. i am also coming into this with the perspective of a white AFAB culturally christian person, which obviously affects how i interact and interacted with the world. for better or worse, i have been extremely online since 1996 and i have been interacting with fandom since before some tumblr users were even born, which is like. not actually a good thing. i don’t see fandom as something inherently bad or inherently good; it’s a hobby i’ve had the same as editing pixel dolls or playing on pet websites. tho you have no idea about the drama of pixel dolls and pet websites. it has no innate value save that which we make of it, which is the same of most things. and, being an artificial construct, it’s inherently influenced by the shitty stuff that goes into it.

anyway

especially towards the ends of the 2000s/early 2010s, there was a lot of discussion on LJ particularly about racism, antisemitism, homophobia, misogyny in the series, often on people’s personal blogs and usually more mild than what you’d see on tumblr, which is not a tone argument thing but which i’m merely bringing up to highlight the fact that people sent death threats over people going “i think maybe the narrative doesn’t treat girls well here.”

it’s just that this was met by a lot -and i mean a lot- of hostility: think the worst tumblr anons and make it on main but also make it more pseudo-intellectual. a lot of it was couched in language that anyone with criticism of any aspect of the series was not actually a fan (and an imposter, possibly a soccer mom) and that if you didn’t 100% enjoy an aspect of something, that’s on you for consuming it, the whole general “don’t like, don’t read” attitude that still gets shilled whenever someone says they don’t like something. a lot of fan culture is ultimately based on a very “us vs The Other” mentality while raising up products for enjoyable consumption (ie the canon book or movie or whatever, and also the fandom built up around it) as something elevated above (perceived or real) reproach, and that obviously is still very much an aspect of fan culture today, hence all of tumblr and people making ideological stances (and by this, i mostly mean strawman arguments shouted into the void for people to misinterpret however they want) about fanfiction a core portion of their online or real identities. which is to say, dysfunction is inherently built into fandom because it’s a microcosm of a dysfunctional society, a hobby whose adherents try to argue that it’s inherently a refuge from the greater world but which can never fully escape its influence, existing as a reflection of society at large while denying it.

or, if you want to translate that out of loser pseudointellectual speak, fandom at large was and continues to be racist, antisemitic, etc. as fuck and harassed the shit out of people for saying that cho chang is kind of a dumb name and that the whole house elf thing is kind of fucked up. seriously, the hp fandom was racist as fuck in 2009 and probably still is because fandoms are large are often very white, very tme, very culturally christian even if they deny it (i am saying this as someone who is all three things) and close in when those things are threatened unless it’s to the point that no one can deny it anymore (and even then), but i cannot personally verify the current vibe of the harry potter fandom because i don’t go there.

anyway, it’s not really a coincidence that when there were more widespread discussions about racism/sexism/etc. in fandom on LJ that it started to decline in popularity among fandom types and fandom culture latched onto tumblr. a fair number of shitty people flounced and migrated over to this website and that’s had way more to do with how fandom’s shaped up on tumblr than anyone really likes to admit. if you were a Big Name Tumblr User in 2012, there was a really big chance you were a former livejournal user who left for a site where less people recognized you for doing both stupid and heinous shit or just generally being a dick. this resulted in a tumblr culture that would very much try to silently drown out any criticisms of the series with vague positivity and “we have to UNITE” and a lot of other stuff whenever someone went “guys have you checked out what she’s done with native american belief systems. it’s uh. not great.”

this is not to say that fandoms have not gotten better in a lot of respects because they have, but, like, obviously it’s still shitty in a lot of ways, though sometimes i wish people were just outright homophobic instead of couching their dialogue in disguised language. a lot of tumblr/twitter culture revolves around not sounding -ist rather than like actually changing anything in any meaningful way.

anyway

this is all a lot of words to say that a lot of the current discussions going on in fandom have been going on for over a decade, but a lot of people in fandom today have no clue about that because the fandom also very deliberately tried to bury it, and by burying it, i mean virulently harassing people because they said something was a little sexist or whatnot

[minticecodes]

I'm slowly getting through devil may cry v and got inspired enough to doodle again. Sure they aren't polished but I love looking at others' sketch dumps, it's like looking at a smorgasbord of ideas. So here you go. Read more for close ups of the other doodles. The ID in alt are the same as written in the text.

[I.D. Digital art. A boy in a shirt hoodie, Nero, sits cross legged as he leans backwards to smile up at his companion. Said companion is a tall horned knight, Nelo Angelo, kneeling behind Nero. Nelo gazes to the side, but braces his broadsword by Nero, and his cape drapes around where Nero's sitting. Nero is rendered in light blue and red, Nelo is rendered in light blue, and they're brightly illuminated. End I.D.]

(Was thinking of 'Love Seeketh Not Itself to Please' by Indigomoods on ao3 while doing this one).

[I.D. A number of digital art sketches, most prominently featuring Dante and Vergil from the Devil May Cry series. From top to bottom, right to left:

Headshots of two boys, Dante and Vergil. Short comic of a man (Dante) ruffling a boy's (Vergil's) hair. Sketch of two boys on a couch, one (Dante) looking concerned at the other (Vergil) in foetal position. Branches curl under the couch. Sketch of child Dante and Vergil in red and blue, running hand in hand. Thumbprint sized chibi child Dante and Vergil. Nero and Nelo sitting together.

Semirealistic headshot (DMCV Vergil) in blue. Boy (Dante) curled in a fire, and fire demon (SDT Dante) gazing at his palm against a black background. Loose sketches of a man's head, roughly scribbled out except one, and an angry cat with a sword. They're labelled in blue and red writing. Side profile of a young man in blues (DMC3 Vergil), face shadowed, a yellow ribbon curled in the background. Side profile of DMC3 Vergil. End I.D.]

[I.D. 4 black and white digital pen cartoony sketches of child Dante and Vergil. Head and bust shot of a boy with slicked back hair and black turtleneck (Vergil) looking right. His brows are furrowed, eyes narrowed; he looks unimpressed. Below is a head and bust shot of a boy with shoulder length hair and white shirt (Dante) looking left with wide eyes and a fang toothed, wide grin. Centre close up of a cloaked boy (Vergil) glaring up, brow furrowed. His hair hangs over a shadowed face. One narrowed eye is visible. Right sketch is of a cloaked boy (Vergil) hugging a book to his chest, referencing a Visions of V panel. His one visible eye is wide as he gazes down with a small expression. End I.D.]

[I.D. Coloured digital art over a black background. Two panels. Panel one is child Dante, arms hugging his legs as he sits within a fire raging around him. He's buried his face in his arms. Panel two is an adult Dante in his demonic SDT form. He gazes down at his clawed hand while the fiery core in his chest glows as the main source of light, casting shadows and red light against his armoured form. The tips of his claws seem to glow in the reflected light. End I.D.]

[I.D. Messy sketch of child Vergil and Dante, running hand in hand. The two look at each other with smiles, Dante with a wide grin and Vergil with closed lips and determined brows. Their full expressions aside from the smile cannot be seen; Dante's hair whips back and covers his face while Vergil's face is eyeless. They're softly rendered in light blue and red, and bright lighting. End I.D.]

[I.D. Messy sketch of child Vergil and Dante sitting on a couch, shot from behind the couch. Dante directs a concerned gaze to Vergil, his hand braced on the couch back as he leans closer. Vergil only looks down. His arms are curled around his knees. From the angle, his expression cannot be seen aside from a small frown. Under the couch slithers Qliphoth tree roots. End I.D.]

[I.D. Chibi doodle of child Vergil and Dante, holding hands. Light blue and red ovals were airbrushed on the page, and a pen lined out their features. They have round cheek patches, like budgies. Vergil has a cartoony pout and a book tucked under an arm, labelled with a V; Dante has a toothy grin and is making a bunny ears hand sign. End I.D.]

[I.D. 'DANTE' is evenly block printed in blue pen. Underneath are what looks to be the start of three portraits of Dante in black pen, but they're roughly scribbled out. The most detailed of the three scribbled out portraits is Dante's grinning side profile. He had sunglasses on. The only intact portrait is a shot of Dante from behind, from the chest up and face not visible aside from a grin. Carried on his back is the Devil Sword Dante, rendered in more detail than Dante.

Meanwhile 'VERGIL' is written in orange/red pen, but strikethroughed. Written above instead is 'PURR-GIL!!', an arrow pointing at a doodle of a cat holding a roughly drawn katana(Yamato). The cat is grimacing with furrowed brows. It has spiky fur on its head, a spiky curled tail, a thorn pattern on its arms resembling Vergil's coat sleeves, and fat round blushy cheeks. End I.D.]

[I.D. Semirealistic rendering of DMCV Vergil from the neck up in three quarter view. He's painted in blues, with soft red shadows. He glares at the viewer, brows furrowed. His irises are a soft red, and he has eye bags. His lips are somewhat glossy. To the side is the blue color palette. End I.D.]

[I.D. Stylised depiction of DMC3 Vergil glaring downwards in profile, from the chest up. He's rendered in blues, his face shadowed from the light against his back. Running over his skin are cracked gold lines, reminiscent of kintsugi. In the background curls a yellow ribbon in the same gold. He's wearing a sleeveless turtleneck and cravat. End I.D.]

[I.D. Stylised black and white lineart of DMC3 Vergil glaring in profile, lips sneering, from the neck up. He's in a coat and cravat. End I.D.]

[I.D. Messy comic.

Panel 1: DMCV Dante ruffling child Vergil's hair. Dante's face is out of the panel

Vergil (grimacing): "Dante!"

Panel 2: Vergil's staved off the hair ruffling, lifting up Dante's hand with both his hands. His brows are furrowed as he looks up at Dante. In the background is a laughing sound effect, that tapers off. 'HA HA ha...'

Panel 3: Adult Dante gazing down at child Vergil, arm hovering over him. His expression seems sad, despite the small smile.

Dante: ... I missed ya, Verge.

Vergil gazes up at Dante, a small question mark by his head. End I.D.]

[icewindandboringhorror]

Daily Log 8

Trying out (probably just temporarily) making short daily-ish notes about things, in an attempt to see if it helps me be more reflective or productive lol.

Activities: Dr's appointment early in the morning, then had to go to the bank and pick up one other thing after. Of course since minimal exertion somehow makes me exhausted for the entire day because of the many wretched curses upon my physical form, I didn't accomplish much else lol..

Took pictures of the avocado pit carved items. Not sure when I'll have the time to edit and post them.

FINALLY did plant the Nasturtiums, and a few other plants! I dislike most "yardwork", especially pulling weeds, because it's hard for me to tell what counts as a "weed" or not, since some of these apparent "weeds" are also pretty flowers and I feel bad for destroying them. A while ago at a relative's house they were doing yardwork and I saw a pile of some of these "weeds" on the ground, so I took a few home to try and replant them. I finally got around to putting them in real containers today, and most of them seem to be doing well so far.

Unfortunately the 'forget me not' flowers (some of my favorites because of blue being one of my favorite colors) never seem to transplant well, after multiple attempts at saving them from people's yards and thinking I've dug down deep enough to get all the roots this time and etc. etc. , they just seem to kind of flop and die after replanting them.. epic gardening fail.. misery and sadness . so on and so forth

Edited next sims let's play video for like barely 15 minutes.

Thought about a few ideas for the story I think I mentioned in the first Daily Log about a doctor and magical experiments. :3c

Had a lot of what seems like nerve pain?? or something?? in my arms radiating down to my fingertips and wrists (likely something to do with my shoulder blades/chest/back of upper neck/shoulder area being perpetually problematic), so I didn't do a lot of work with my hands or computer stuff for long.. stimky

Sketched out one of the border sections for the tapestry painting thing, but really Thought About It more than Did Any Tangible Progress.

Washed like two miserable little dishes in my cringe fail kitchen sink with my loser lame achy fingers and hands

Notable sights: SAW SOME GEESE when walking past a park today!!!! I rarely ever see geese, mostly just ducks and common birds and squirrels around here. There were also some interesting plants I briefly got to look at in a store on the way home from my appointment. I don't even want much in life (yet it all seems so unattainable for someone in my situation lol), like I don't want to have a mansion or anything, but just a modest little house with a small yard would be so cool.. I would love to actually curate a real permanent garden instead of everything having to be in pots all the time. connection across time with my very likely peasant ancestors, looking up to the sky like 'ah, if only I were part of the landowning class'

Goals moving forward: SUPER focus on social activities, finding new friends in the places I want to move, communicating with ones I have, because I keep ignoring this for weeks and I am never going to have a social support network if I don't actually build one lol.. Living in a broad interconnected society where social tethers are pivotal for survival (unless you're rich - and even then, social connections likely help substantially in career and etc. - most currently rich people had rich parents, etc. etc.) is so antithetical to my hermit nature.. aughhh....Why so inherently difficult for brain to Process Socialization And Communication. >:V

Physical therapy exercises. Finish and upload videos, edit costume pictures & etc. Do the new costumes I've planned. MAKE SCULPTURES at some point, I miss them.

Notable foods: ASPARAGUS DAY FghdhVGVTYYEAAAAA!!! asparagus squad1!!!!! Also went against the evil nutritionist diet and allowed myself one serving of bread which I used to make a spicy turkey wrap sort of thing. >:) I miss being able to make spicy pickled onions and stuff. Still wishing for heartier food too.. I get blood testing soon, so maybe I'll find out if I'm actually deficient in something that's giving me constant cravings lol..

[charlieism]

why has language shortened why was it so long and complicated yknow a few hundred years ago and further than that a few thousand years ago. how did language go from just being invented, to each sentence being a mouthful u gotta chew thru, to yalln't

[artdcnaldson]

you know something i thought about after watching challengers many times now. i don't think tashi really cares about art winning a match. i think that if she is given a good fucking tennis match, where he gives his all, whether he loses or wins it doesn't matter to her, as long as he played to the best of his ability. that's why i think she is disappointed in the future because art (due to his burnt out state) is just letting his matches cruise by, not really trying at this point, she is saddened because she knows his potential. she clocked it from the beginning (you can beat him). so, that's one of the reasons why she did what she did with patrick (besides missing him and stuff) she wants to see art have that spark back, she wants to see some good fucking tennis. but at the end of the day, winning or losing doesn't really matter as long as he actually tried, not because she told him to, but because he wanted that for himself. so when patrick did the signal, essentially telling him the race is back on, telling him if you're gonna win this thing it isn't because i let you, is because you did it all by yourself, if that makes sense? tashi is filled with pride, with satiation because she is seeing art finally take the reins and doing something for himself, she is seeing the spark back. Also i want to point out i'm talking about this in the sense of their romantic relationship not in the coaching sense, because as a coach of course the point is to win, and she does want to win, the three of them do, that's what they live for. but in the their marriage, at this point, tashi just wants to see art try, not only for her, but for himself.

(another thing is i know she said "if you don't win the match i'll leave you" she said it as coaching, she wants -as i said before- to see him try, she wants to see him actually play and to stop being a puppet for once, she wants to see that hunger they all had as teenagers, not only a hunger for winning, but a hunger to play to the best of your ability)

sorry it is a bit longwinded lmao but that's a take i've been thinking about for a while, thought i would share with my fav blog :)

Never apologize bc I LIVEEE for things like this!!!

But you’re right!! He can’t want to win for her approval, he has to want to win for HIM or what’s the point?? I do think Tashi resented Art for just giving up, because she wouldn’t have done that but her opportunities and future were stolen from her by bad luck. And I think he knows that and that’s why he keeps playing when he’s miserable and embarrassed that he keeps losing. Patrick clocked that QUICKLY. On the Tashi side and on the Art side. And what do EITHER of them get from that? There’s no joy of tennis and passion anymore. It’s just going through the motions which is exactly what people feel like when they get tired of a marriage.

Idk now I’m rambling and I’m so scrambled I hope this made sense

[goatcheesecak3]

Art teacher

Adam Stanheight x reader (with a sprinkle of Daniel Matthews & Brent Abbot)

Fic type: basically just a very longwinded headcanon, wholesome, platonic.

Summary: your boyfriend, Adam comes home and excitedly tells you about the art lessons he's been teaching for two boys he met at survivors meetings.

Adam arrived home, his already tatty clothes covered in specs of paint.

You turned to look at him, a proud smile stretching across your face.

"Looks like you and the boys had a lot of fun" you chuckled, kissing Adam's cheek as he kicked his shoes off and hung up his bag.

"Yeah, they're really smart kids y'know? They've both got real talent" Adam grinned.

The aforementioned "boys" were two teenagers by names of Brent and Daniel. Both rebellious and rambunctious, but sweet at heart. Adam had met them at jigsaw survivor meetings and over the last few months, the two boys had grown pretty fond of Adam. Aside from their similar trauma, they all had quite a lot in common, their love of punk music and art had been easy to bond over, and the two teens saw Adam as a sort of big brother figure. After a while of getting to know eachother at meetings, Adam had asked the boy's mothers if they might enjoy taking some art lessons from him, as a way to try and find a positive outlet for all their emotions left from various traumas.

Since both boys had recently lost their fathers, their mother's were more than eager for their children to have a positive male role model back in their lives, and jumped at the offer.

Adam flopped down on the sofa, visibly exhausted but with a satisfied smile.

"I really think I'm starting to get through to them, you know, y/n" he beamed, patting the seat beside him for you to sit down.

"Daniel's art is so intense and thought provoking, and Brent's been trying different mediums- he's gotten so good with spray paint!"

You couldn't help but swoon, watching how excited Adam got over the boys' progress, he really was ever so good with kids.

You took Adam's hand and gave it a squeeze.

"I'm so proud of you" You beamed, taking his face in your other hand and lightly caressing his cheek.

"Heh... thanks" Adam chuckled shyly, his cheeks turning a pretty shade of pink.

"Y'know.." he said, a look of realisation creeping onto his face, "it's funny that that asshole, jigsaw claimed he was trying to make me appreciate life more, he didn't need to shackle me up in some prehistoric bathroom to achieve that, all I needed was an afternoon teaching those boys how to paint, and that's enough to turn me into some sappy, life is beautiful maaaaan hippie guy"

Adam chuckled, he seemed more able to talk about jigsaw ever since being in those survivor meetings, and his sardonic sense of humour had returned in full swing, it was nice to see.

Adam continued to mentor the two boys, growing close with their mother's and really becoming part of each boy's families. Years and years down the line, he was best man at both of their weddings

"It only makes sense," They would go on to explain, "you're my brother".

Hello!! I've had this idea in my head for a long time, it just made sense to me that Daniel and Brent would be friends, and that they would look up to Adam as the cool older punk guy at the meetings :'^)))) sorry it's short and kinda rambly, I just needed to get these thoughts out in some way because brainrot etc etc

[blindmagdalena]

Was re-watching Diabolical and have been genuinely wondering for a while about this………

Do you think Homelander could have been redeemed within those first 1-4 of his years of his initial roll out? It was obvious that he had no moral compass but he wasn't intentionally malicious back then. He seemed just kind of like a paper cup blowing from here to there as long as the promise of adoration existed.

I can't help but wonder if he had been surrounded by actually decent people rather than Vought psychopaths and manipulators if he still had a chance, even at that age.

a lot of things could have been different for Homelander when he was that young. it's a little fuzzy how old he was in Diabolical 8, but the general consensus seems to be 18-20.

we know he already had a kill count in the lab. he killed several of his teachers/nannies by the time he was 13, maybe more after that. he experienced a deluge of being made to crave the love of humans while also coming to view them as disposable.

as toys, if you will.

vague potential spoilers for s4 and longwinded rambling under the cut.

in my (wholly uneducated) opinion, this is where the foundational fracture of baby John's psyche begins. he had three "core" members of his team who formed a dysfunctional parental unit. Barbara, Vogelbaum and Stan Edgar. i believe that as a child, John had genuine and strong love for both Barbara and Vogelbaum, whereas i think it's always been a fearful respect of Stan Edgar.

then there were the regulars who existed in periphery, but mainly as antagonists. such as Marty and Frank. think of them as like... creepy uncles.

the rest of the scientists and caretakers were nothing but nameless, faceless props. the first time he killed someone, they were swiftly replaced. same with the first, second, third... who knows how many he went through. who knows how many "accidents" Vogelbaum swept under the rug in his pursuit of the Perfect Hero.

that little smile we see at the end of the clip? that's all Homelander.

Homelander fundamentally does not care about people, but has a deep-seated desire for their approval, and does grow strong attachments on an individual level. this is the "split" that exists in him. this is the 16 year old that left the lab.

he was always going to latch onto someone and have little regard for anyone who wasn't them. no matter how well-meaning and kind that person was, Homelander would have been an extremely difficult (and frightening!) child to manage.

you think he's immature and temperamental now? try him from the ages of 16-25. yikes!

he may not have hurt anyone on purpose initially in that rescue gone wrong, but he had absolutely no problem covering his bases once shit went sideways. he was only afraid of retribution from Vought/His Favored People. he wasn't upset that he hurt people. he was upset he might not get away with it.

it would make for a really interesting fic to explore what would have happened if the hero "Homelander" had been scrapped entirely for whatever reason. if he'd been if he had fallen into the hands of someone who actually meant well, who would parent him.

someone who would love enough about him to teach him the fundamentals of caring about other people not just on an individual level, but on a conceptual one. whether or not he still could.

ultimately, Homelander isn't a real person. it's entirely up to the author whether or not he could or could not be "redeemed." he'll always carry the trauma of what was done to him, but at the very least, maybe he could come to understand some degree of empathy or compassion outside of himself.

either way i'd read the hell out of it!

[johnslittlespoon]

Hello, gorgeous!

First of all, thank you for the joy of reading the first chapter of Tough And Sweet (Like You And Me).

I just have one question: Will future chapters show us Gale’s POV as well? Personally, I’d love to see young, shy Bucky through the eyes of an older Gale.

HIII sweetest human!! <3 no thank YOU for reading omg and for the kind words plsss :')) and for giving me an excuse to talk ab this LOL. tldr: future chapters no, future parts/drabbles yes!!

i was actually so indecisive about this when i started plotting the fic because while i enjoy reading fics with alternating povs just as much as fics without them, i've never written one with them and i wasn't sure if i'd enjoy/be good at switching mindsets like that!

i ultimately decided to stick to john's pov for that reason, but also because i thought as the reader, having to see things through his eyes and only being able to guess about gale the way john does would be more intriguing, especially with john's view of the world/interactions warped and/or rose–tinted by youth, inexperience, emotional dysregulation, etc.

BUT sooo much of what i have written in my drafting doc is from gale's pov because i love picturing this bucky through his eyes too, it's just such a fresh and new dynamic for me to explore as someone who primarily writes mota–verse buckbucky, and what we see from john's pov is so different from how gale sees things of course lol.

like it drives me insane thinking about how this poor man was literally just living his peaceful life, fine with being solo, going through the routine every day of work and then bike club and then home, and suddenly he's got this golden retriever of a boy attached to him like a magnet, and he's being kept on his toes dealing with the bundle of energy, and each day is now unpredictable and as exciting as it is stressful and he has no one to blame but himself lol. and the way we don't get to see the self–restraint he has to have and the struggle to be responsible and do what's 'right' while also dealing with his own feelings, because john isn't aware that's going on inside gale's head!

i could go on and on about his side of things aughghgh so i think eventually i'll end up doing a pretty lengthy oneshot sorta thing of certain events in the actual fic through gale's eyes (kinda what i plan on doing with yadiym for john's pov) bc goddd i have so many thoughts about how all of this would be playing out from his perspective!!! if not a oneshot, then drabbles like this one i hope.

if i had the time and if it wouldn't be boring to read i would honestly just rewrite the whole fic from gale's pov once it's done because with every scene i write, i'm like ooo i wanna dive into his pov and talk about what he's thinking and seeing so BAD but i can't bc we're in john's head </3 i just love analyzing john through his eyes and ik i've yapped ab this so much in past posts but gale does see so much of his younger self in him, that's why he has a lot of patience and takes a liking to him so fast, even if he doesn't realize that right away. :')

at the very least i definitely want to write pwp oneshots/drabbles set in the TAS universe from gale's pov so i can gush over describing how pretty and sweet and mouthy john is LOL i'm sure i'll add the fic itself to a series like with my dog–coded fic so that i can build on the au with oneshots once it's done >:-)

this is such a longwinded response (what else is new!) but you poked the bubble in my brain that's been agonizing over wanting to delve into gale's pov so <3 this is much more rambling than your question warranted but thx JSDKG

[alpydk]

This is a cameo that only me and one other person know of (even my partner does not know of this). I got this in secret for my birthday a few months back, basically just asking for a little pep talk after a really bad year (you know the story, mostly) - Any ways, this arrived as I stood in a Netto store and proceeded to cry at the till like a looney BUT it also spawned all the writing, from the first poem (The Waystation) all the way up to the smut last night and probably so many other things to come. It is all because of this beautiful person that just took the time to waffle on about Sugarbabes, and smelting.

He created a monster with his words - "Go and create stories" - Yeah, I accidentally took this too literally, but he's brought such light to my life from this one video. Not just all the creativity I get to spew, but all of you guys who I've got to meet. The crazy cult of Gale with their unquenchable thirst, the angst lovers wading through the smut to find diamonds, but mostly just the friends I have made who let me ramble, and click the ao3 links that should not be seen with human eyes. (Pre-sex checks are a thing in Top Gear smut by the way.). Those who write me poetry that makes me sob like a child, and those who create artwork that inspire me further to tell more stories. I really don't know what I'd do without all of you.

So thos was my longwinded oversharing of the week. Thank you to everyone, thank you to my friends, thank you to Tim Downie for pushing me down this path of no return.

[gildedphoenix]

Just a little treat

Small excerpt from Chapter 4 of When Stars Collide

[tail end of a longwinded rambling rant that Danny is having]  "-I don’t want to make a fool of myself with Jason but also I don’t want to make anything awkward for you if it doesn’t workout because you’re great! You ask the best questions and I want to keep that curiosity going because it’s so hard to get people interested in space here in Gotham because of the smog but that’s really been getting better lately which is very nice because I’ve really been hoping that it would clear up and now that I think about it has resulted in an uptick of people coming to the Planetarium…” Danny trailed off into mumbles about correlations between night time sky visibility and attendance rates and weather patterns. 

His eyes unfocused and Damian would swear in an official report that his whole body slid out of focus, wasn't tangible any longer. As if his form lost connection with reality as his mind drifted away from the here and now. Damian took a step closer to look at the freckles on his face, which were starting to glow and move, rearranging. With that small step Danny’s head snapped back up and his form snapped back into focus.

“What was I saying?” 

[randomwriteronline]

If there was something Onewa would not neglect to mention, that was that the rest of the Toa Metru were wimps.

Another one of his qualities (if one could call it that) was his ability to explain, at length, each extremely precise and specific reason as to why the rest of the Toa Metru were wimps - which after a small amount of his rambling lectures could then essentially be boiled down to the singular problem of none of them being Po-Matoran and thus not having lived in Po-Metru.

Because that meant that they'd never spent hours working at an actual genuine real job - by which he meant carving, as everything else was too cushy and didn't make your hands hurt like hell once you finally finished nor force you to spend entired days outside with your scalpel and hammer several bio off the ground under the blistering heat of the twin suns in certain occasions; it also meant that they'd never forcibly shaped a cave into their own home by themselves, without any outside help, because that's how the Po-Matoran do it, and that just in case they weren't too keen on breaking their backs that much and joined a welder's village instead they'd never had to fight off wandering Rahi that decided to storm in out of nowhere to pick off a few neighbors just for the fun of it.

And that's how we liked it!

At least, he concluded each of his rants like that.

The first general silent consensus on the matter was that there was no way the Po-Matoran could actually honestly like living in what was essentially a smaller replica of Karzhani.

The second general silent agreement was that everybody would have very much liked for Onewa to shut up before they felt compelled to resort to the only other apparently available solution to the problem by tossing him off the Lhikan II and into the unknown waters.

Due to the whole "unity" thing, they were trying very, very hard not to do that.

Nuju most of all.

Not due to any affection towards him (Great Spirit forbid), but mainly because it would have been extremely easy for him to enact the procedure so quickly that the Toa of Stone wouldn't even have had the time to stop his rambling, and also the longwinded blatherings were very quickly depleting whatever reserves of his already barely existent patience for being around people he still had, meaning he was left scraping at the bottom of the barrel for just about enough of it in order to try to survive this blasted journey of theirs without infringing the Toa code.

They knew arguing would have solved nothing: Onewa would have just argued back even harder and louder, and that would have just made things worse.

But Whenua, in his infinite wisdom, figured out a plan at last.

So when during a rare moment of collective respite their brother of Stone began once more his unprompted tirade about the rest of them being good-for-nothing seat warmers who wouldn't have survived a day at his jobsite, whether due to exhaustion, poor safety conditions, or a wide variety of environmental hazards, the remaining four Toa quickly tuned out of his ranting in order to watch curiously as the former archivist approached the carver from behind so quietly that he might as well have been wearing a Huna instead of a Ruru.

Just as the other interrupted his endless complaint to take in a breath, Whenua struck: his arms rested oh so gently on his brother's waist to pull him a little closer in a sort of hug, surprising him enough to make him stutter a moment more.

"Then shoudn't you be treated tenderly?" he spoke softly, mask close to the other's, with the gentlest tone he could muster.

If Onewa's head could have exploded, it probably would have.

It was frankly mesmerizing to see him shortcircuit in real time. He was, suddenly, completely paralyzed in the slightly reclined pose within Whenua's embrace and totally incapable of speech beyond a few bewildered monosyllables such as 'what', 'wuh', 'who' and sometimes even just a plain old 'w'; his eyes were wider than the entire protodermis sea, frantically shifting from the Great Ruru to the complete void as though his desire to ask for an explanation for the Toa of Earth's unexpected behaviour was battling for dominance with cosmic forces far beyond his comprehension.

Matau understood the plan in the matter of an instant. His hand flew to Onewa's knee - the part that was closest to him from where he was sitting - and cupped it gently, stroking it with his thumb. He could have sworn the other had burst a brain spark the second the contact had hit.

"You're right, Toabrother," he cooed with a grin that hopefully came off comforting enough to hide his amusement: "He's had a rough life! It's our duty to easecuddle him up a little!"

Onewa's attempt at a reply came out as a warbled mess of phonemes.

It was distinctly not helped by Nuju of all beings catching his hand to nuzzle it against his mask, muttering: "Poor thing," in a rumbling tone.

Before he could work through the fog these puzzling interactions were muddling his neurons with and ask who exactly the three cuddling him were and what they'd done with his brothers, his thoughts were once again stunned into static by the pressure of Nokama's palm on the top of his mask and her voice worming into his audio receptor with unimaginable sweetness: "You've been through quite a lot and we haven't shown you nearly enough compassion for it, haven't we? Come, sit down, sit down..."

Eight hands moved him around without him being able to do anything about it, and when he blinked he was indeed sitting down, fellow Toa all around and over him: Whenua was pressing him to his sternum while still loosely hugging his waist, Matau had crawled closer to take over one of his arms and placed a hand on the side of his chest, Nuju had shifted his gentle grip to raid along one of his legs and Nokama had instead taken his place nuzzling one of his palms.

To say this felt immensely unnatural would have been an understatement of planetary proportions.

Actually scratch planetary, these were downright universal proportions.

What in Mata Nui's name was happening?

Why were they so nice? Why were they agreeing they had it easier than him? And why in Karzhani were they cuddling and comforting him about his (to be honest fairly turbulent) Matoran life?

At least the firespitter hadn't joined in, he managed to think in short spurts while the gentle words and motions flustered him to no end, making his heartlight bloom brighter from the weird feeling - he'd been nothing but rude and condescending to him, certainly he wouldn't dream of pitying him or coddling him or lifting a single finger on him kindly, and why did that thought actually kind of hurt all of a sudden when just earlier today it would have had no effect on him whatsoever--

A caress on his mask fried any last working neurons he still had going for him, which was why it took him a few moments to realize there was also a hand tenderly wrapped around his calf.

"You don't have to go through something like that again," Vakama's voice reassured him before he managed to focus once again on his vibrant yellow eyes. His thumb stroked his cheek slowly, making Onewa almost shake in his hold before he continued: "We'll take care of you. That's what a team does, isn't it?"

The Toa of Stone barely managed a peep back.

A gentle laugh at his speechlessness made him almost very visibly self-combust.

The rest of the team cuddled a little closer to him, not once stopping their affectionate touches, humming or murmuring little things he couldn't hope to process within the swelling swirl of feelings agitating through his entire body.

It was just...

It was just too much!

Who were these people? Why were they caring about him so much? He could have had this his entire life instead of rolled eyes and angry looks and envy and hatred and loneliness? And where had that last thought come from?

Someone nuzzled his mask. Then someone else, and someone else again. And again. And again.

Soon enough Onewa was completely silent, still tense and yet also somewhat slack in his team's hold as the gentle thrumming of five bodies wrapped around his own completely erased his thoughts in a storm of fluster and embarrassment that made his heartlight flutter in a fast paced but overall stable manner.

Ah...

Finally.

Peace at last.

The unspoken plan could now be archived a resounding success.

If the five of them detached from him right now, they each reasoned separately, he would have probably sat there for a few hours trying to digest the sudden tornado of care slapped right on him. Who knows? He might have even stopped screaming his life story to the sky and stuck to mumbling it instead. There was no chance he'd shut up fully about it, of course - but at least he would have been much quieter.

That sounded perfectly reasonable.

For about a good five minutes, none of them made any attempt at moving from their positions.

They could leave him there.

Seriously, they could.

Nothing was stopping them from doing so.

Literally nothing.

Matau leaned a little closer to rest his head on his brother's chest. Vakama raised his leg to rest it on his lap, absentmindedly running his hand over it. Nokama whispered another reassurance.

Oh, screw it.

They could cuddle a little more.

Just a little bit...

[sheawritesstuff]

Cover-Up

[A longwinded ramble / theory about Gabe's death]

[Angst - 569 words]

[TW: Character Death, Alcoholism, Drunk Driving, Grief]

It was already dark when Gabe finished up his security gig and drove toward home. There was nothing out of the ordinary, just a crisp autumn night in early September. He had the radio on in his truck, listening to whatever songs came up without a worry in the world. He came to a green light, quickly checked both ways and progressed.

Colm was also on his way home after a night of relapse at the bar. He was leaning over to the passenger’s seat to grab another beer - one hand on the wheel, lead foot on the gas pedal, no eyes on the road. He sped through the intersection, oblivious to the red light and Gabe’s truck passing through the center. 

The alpha had tried to avoid it, but what could he do? By the time he saw the little black car charging toward the driver’s side door, it was already too late. His truck slid sideways across the street, smashing the other side of the truck against the traffic light pole. Gabe was dead on impact, never knowing a member of his pack had been the one to kill him.

It was just past midnight when the police came knocking on David’s door. He was still half asleep, barely conscious as the police tried explaining what happened. He almost thought he was still dreaming, stuck in some fucked up nightmare. But it wasn’t. His dad was dead, and some drunk driver killed him. 

He didn’t feel the need to ask who this mystery driver was, he honestly had no desire to know. It was easier to think of the driver as more of a concept than a person. Drunk driving killed Gabe Shaw. It was more palatable than the crushing reality that another living, breathing person had been the sole reason that his dad was dead and his pack was without an alpha. Knowing Colm had been that unnamed driver would not have helped anything, and it certainly wouldn’t have made stepping up into his father’s role any easier. 

David lost all the family he’d ever had and, on top of that, the entirety of his pack looked to him for guidance and leadership in his father’s stead. There was no space to worry about the poor sonofabitch who ran that red light with everything else he had to shoulder. So he didn’t know any better, and neither did the pack. DUMP made sure of that.

The department made sure no one knew one of their ex-investigators had driven drunk and killed the alpha of his pack. They knew it would not have helped their already strained relationship with the general empowered public, so they kept it under wraps. They got him into AA and made him pay a fine that was nowhere close to punishment enough and sent him on his way. 

Colm had already made a great deal of progress with his gambling before the accident, but the crash really set him straight. He quit drinking, he stopped going out to the casino, and he tried being a better man. The guilt ate at him and served as the ultimate encouragement to fix himself and get in line. He was given a second chance, he wasn’t gonna waste it. He lives with the shame of what he did, keeping it buried in his chest where it will stay with him until the day he dies. 

[sonjuponju]

now YOU tell me about YOUR ocs...!!! (if you want) is your pfp enix...🧡

IT IS IT IS!!! that drawing turned out so good i just stick it everywhere now 😭

the thing about my ocs is that i hardly get anything done with them if i don't have someone to constantly validate my choices and help me build ideas and stuff so most of my stories are pretty incomplete and all over the place 🥲 but i do have some bits and pieces that i can share!!

ima put everything under a read more cus there's gonna be a LOT of stuff. you really don't have to read all of it if you find it longwinded, i just really love rambling about my dudes (but only if someone asks 😭)

ENIX, he/him - he's actually one of my older ocs, i created him way back in 2017 when i was like 11 😭 fun fact! his original name was vixen but due to the definition of the word bugging me i recently changed his name to enix :3 another fact but kind of an embarrassing one - he used to have DID, and my 11 year old ass played RIGHT into the "evil alter" trope, so yeahhhh... the only good thing to come out of that was that the "evil alter" eventually became a wholly separate blorbo, named feliks! who we will get into now B)

FELIKS, he/him - my fucking sweet baby. my angel. he has gone through so many transformations it's hilarious

here he is in his "evil alter" days. already got the black eye to signify his "evilness". though i don't think it took very long for me to decide that he was actually the host of the body, not enix. in any case his usual day-to-day activities included pissing everyone around him off and trying some evil schemes every now and then

in like 2018 i got REALLY into this visual novel called "the arcana" and feliks was the ex best friend of the MC my friend cooked up for our version of the story. i didn't want him to be a cyclops for this iteration because i thought it didn't fit the theme, so he had to get a human design. he didn't have DID in this version, but he did have an identical twin brother, named vance. in this story feliks killed vance and became the boyfriend of the villain of the story, also becoming one of the villains in the process. his ex best friend ellis ended up defeating him and he got hanged with his boyfriend for their crimes

now here's where the story gets really juicy. feliks reincarnated in the modern world, and i think i ditched him having DID and instead the "alters" turned out to be the fragmented parts of feliks' dead brother's personality. vance had basically come back to haunt him in a form that was kind of comparable to alters, but also not really

the main arcana characters alongside ellis also reincarnated and ended up finding feliks (who was still evil btw). they were kind of like a friend group for a while until shit hit the fan when everyone found out that feliks killed his brother way back in their past life (they had no idea up until now). ellis became incredibly angry with him and him being a magician turned feliks into water and put him in a vase so he wouldn't be able to hurt anyone ever again

before this happened though i think ellis and his also magician boyfriend were able to piece vance back together and give him a body, so he was reincarnated too. after receiving a second chance at life, vance got himself a boyfriend, and even got married with him. the happiness didn't last for long though when feliks was able to sneak himself in his water form into vance's husband's water bottle. the husband drunk the water and ended up possessed by feliks 🙃 feliks killed vance AGAIN, was able to return to his own body by also killing vance's husband, annnnddd... then ellis caught up to him and beheaded him with his scythe. (god i still love this story)

after death feliks became a demon in hell, and that's basically where his story ends. idk i must've gotten another interest at this point because i didn't get any further with the story

in 2020 i decided to revamp him AGAIN, this time making my own fantasy universe for him. i got a couple of my friends involved with it too (this was basically a species i made specifically for that thing and my friends made ocs of that species). the story for it was really juicy too but im not gonna be telling about it cus it's almost identical to my current project with him and i might wanna make it into a real thing one day so.. SPEAKING OF WHICH

HIS CURRENT DESIGN. MORE PHOTOS.

I AM SO NORMAL ABOUT HIM!!!!!!! GAAGAHAJJSDJDKSK

anyway. yeah, there isn't much i can tell about the story, but i can tell you about how SHIT it is trying to come up with fantasy clothing. i am no fashion designer, not by a longshot, so my boy has his tits out 24/7 because i can't think of anything he could wear (and also i just love seeing him bare chested ❤️). i kinda don't even know where to start with the clothes cus i don't want them to be the generic european medieval stuff you see in fantasy CONSTANTLY and i am awfully lazy at researching anything that isn't my number 1 interest so. yah. to combat not being able to draw him with a canon design, i made a domestic modern au 🫶

here's feliks and his roomie clancy :3 they are my biggest blorbos rn and i would REALLY love to talk more about them but um. yeah this post is long enough especially considering there is still one oc i wanna mention

here's valo!! she is feliks' sister. you might think wait you didn't mention feliks having a sister? no i didn't because she is his BROTHER. I GENDERBENDED VANCE. BECAUSE IT WOULD FUCK. and yeah she is absolutely incredible i love her from the bottom of my heart. valo and feliks still have kind of a complicated relationship but at least in the au feliks doesn't kill her :D she's just kinda chilling with her gf until i come up with a story for her too

so ya that's all i wanted to talk about for now!! if you read this far then thank you 😭🫶 i had so much fun writing this. i was busy the whole day today but i just kept thinking about how much i wanted to answer your ask haha. i didn't plan for it to get so long though but im super grateful if you read this far 🥹

[scarlet-moonlight]

this might be a ramble but I believe in genderfluid aphelios supremacy, like one day he feels more masculine (by masc i mean just in his classic skin, to him it feels comfortable) but then another day he grows out his hair all long and pretty and wear heels to a fight just because

I like how he's masc and tough looking at first glance (mostly in just his base skin model) but secretly very elegant and pretty at the same time in his animations and such, he would just lean into it and just say “fuck it I want to look pretty” and start dancing around with his guns as if he’s bayonetta (he already kinda does it with his weapons, he looks like he’s twirling around all pretty)

also i like hc'ing him as pan/not having any real gender preferences because he's open to all types of people and finding the beauty in them, he feels outcasted both in and out of the Lunari and he doesn’t want to feel the same towards others, so he wants to love and accept everyone, even if he feels closed off or take a while to accept recieving love and affection from other people. I also think he could be demi in this regard, but he’s always super loving and sweet when you get to know him,

(I think this was just an longwinded way to really say aphelios should just have pretty long hair all the time

[bpdloop]

.

its quite something being here witth lune. this is probably the first time we'eve every cofronted at the sametime nanddd its odd. i ffeel weird. ttheyre in color anndd im not. its othering. i want tto go back to my room... bbut i want to be there for them ttoo. here. whatever. idk. theyare dear to me even iff their relationship w mme is a bit different... ffrom other siffrins. bbut i guess thats why theyre siffrins annd im siffy... sslowly i feel their opinion changing and maybe miness as well. bbut. Idk. ill tthinkk on it. tthjs is a longwinded and weird strdam of conciosouness ramble sso sorry if itds . annnoying lol. i Did pput it under a rm tho sso ☝🏾 chceckmate, as thry ssay

[gendervapor14]

8. What song would make a great fic (to either write or read)?

9. How do you find new fic to read?

10. How do you decide what to write?

(if not answered already), and 37 & 38! Fanfic ask meme❤️

ooh hello!! thank you for these!! i did answer #38, but i'll answer #37 for sure!

8. What song would make a great fic (to either write or read)?

ooooo as a music nerd i love this question and i apologize for how longwinded my answer is XD i don't do many songfics or much song-related writing [*shoves the title of two fights for freedom under the rug*] but i do have a ton of playlists and songs that make me think of specific characters or fics. to answer this question, i'll just pick one called "Fever Dream" by Dirt Poor Robins. specifically the part starting just after the 4:00 minute mark. the lyrics make me go INSANE with this idea for a dark/horror dq bros fic where doflamingo realizes that corazon is just a false identity and he can't do anything to get his brother back and it drives him even more insane. these lyrics make me crazy Now here comes the liar (lion) Clawing at your door Drunk on the blood of your brother And he's back for more (apparently the lyric is actually "lion" rather than "liar", but i hear "liar" so therefore i declare it is "liar" for the sake of my own brainrot) imagine a fic where rosinante is the one psychologically tormenting doflamingo!! unsure if i'll ever get around to writing it, but it'd probably have a similar vibe to blood gone sour.

9. How do you find new fic to read?

i usually do a nightly prowl under the one piece fandom on ao3 and either filter by most recent fics with rosinante or bell-mere. otherwise i read recs that are bumped on discord servers, or stories friends write! i'm actually terrible at reading tho i don't read nearly enough. when i have free time, i usually use it to create.

10. How do you decide what to write?

excellent question. i make a list of priorities. sometimes it's disorganized lists on my phone, sometimes i use calendars. first and foremost are things with due dates, so zine work, or gifts for exchanges, birthdays or holidays. next i prioritize stories that are works in progress, but already posted on ao3. i hate having incomplete works posted on ao3, so i strive to get them wrapped up asap. then it's a rabid thunderdome of all my other wips and ideas all wrestling for victory for who gets to be created XD i'm constantly bursting with ideas i never get to work on, unfortunately.

37. Promote one of your own “deep cut” fics (an underrated one, or one that never got as much traction as you think it deserves!). What do you like about it?

i'm gonna go ahead and promote spitfire and ice because i busted my ass on this for the crackpair event and i was actually really happy with the result? i was assigned makino x kuzan, so i threw bell-mere in there too just to shake things up, and then i fell madly in love with bell-mere x makino and their flirty banter. it captured my heart in a way i was NOT expecting. i guess the tags aren't particularly interesting to most, so it's relatively unknown with only 4 kudos and 31 hits. but look at this!! “Hey, I’ve gotta ask you something.” She leaned over the counter once Makino settled herself and refilled the pitcher for the next round. “Would I still be wanted here…after hours?” With a tight smile, Makino rested her hands over the tabletop. “We’re closed for customers after hours. I need some time to tidy up the place.” “Right, right…” Pretty gray eyes wandered. “But in this situation, I wouldn’t be a customer.” With an amused chuckle, Makino folded her arms over her stomach. “What do you want me to say, Miss Bell-mère? Do you want me to welcome you to my private quarters upstairs?” That exposed chest filled with air. “I wouldn’t be against an invitation.” smh. well, at least i'm proud of it!

ahhh sorry i got so rambly XD i had fun answering these! thank you so much for the questions!! here's the list if anyone else has a question, or wants to reblog it for themselves!