#longer text

[pushelz]

Day 3: Love

When my younger self had a nightmare, father would take me in his arms and hold me until I calmed down. He‘d gently talk to me („It‘s over now. And I‘m here for you.“), making sure that I stopped quivering and once I was finally calm, he would stay with me and sing lullabies until I fell asleep again. And once I woke up, the first thing I would feel is his warm embrace and I would feel safe, knowing he is here with me.

“I love you, dad!“

“And I love you, my little firecracker.“

.

.

.

When our current self has a nightmare, we will be woken up because we wouldn’t stop screaming. We will lash out at the one who was so foolish to come close to us. But once we hear a gentle voice talking to us („Hey, it‘s ok. I‘ve got you.“), we will start to calm down. A hand will be offered, because sometimes every touch makes us uncomfortable, and often we take it. The voice will not sing, but will humm different melodies (and it‘s still soothing). We will hold the hand until we fall asleep again. And when we wake up, we will hear the voice gently tapping on a monitor and we would feel safer, knowing that the voice is here with us.

“…thank you for staying with us. We know you don’t have any obligation to, but-“

“I know. But it‘s my choice of what I will or won‘t do. And stop thanking me every time!“

Note: When does one cross the line from „liking“ to „loving“ someone? Crepitus must relearn which emotion is tied to what sensation. Is it butterflies or another anxiety attack? One half of him is often overwhelmed by emotions, the other half never had any emotions to begin with. These opposites result in him having no reaction at all or going „over the top“. Which is why it‘s easely noticeable when he is, for example, flustered. Lucky for him though, the culprit for such an outburst is pretty dense when it comes to recognizing any sort of attachment (much to the crews amusement).

Also fun fact: blue eyes mean „all is safe“, red tint is „emotionally unstable“ and all red is „Assuming Control“.

[showyoumyfavoriteobsession]

David Lynch + the road at night

Blue Velvet (1986) Wild at Heart (1990) Lost Highway (1997) Mulholland Drive (2001) Twin Peaks: The Return (2017)

[pokimoko]

Ace Week is upon us again, which means it's time for me to share some more silly little critters with you all! (If you like, you can also say hello to their friends from 2021, 2022 and 2023.) ✨Go and be as amazing as always, aces✨

[inkskinned]

the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.

capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.

now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.

and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.

and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.

and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".

it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"

[illusioncanthurtme--art]

Hehe funny vine humor

[anatomical-puppet]

my source is that i am autistic about horror

[lucabyte]

i feel like people are sleeping on the occam's razor situation of how buckwild it is to outright accuse a guy of being a clone of your friend even if you DO have a lot of circumstantial evidence. there's other options is what im saying. they could just be like. a guy. that's a sensible deduction. you should explore that deduction. ignore my shirt that reads I <3 RED HERRINGS.

i still think odile has the correct theory on lock but she's smart enough to know it needs like... a real smoking gun to be able to bring it up without sounding insane.

anyway. (mirabelle voice) i know its rude to speculate but has anyone else noticed the grieving? they seem to be grieving. does anyone have any thoughts on the grieving? i have some thoughts on the grieving.

[umblrspectrum]

another failed sneaking attempt

[thevioletcaptain]

i genuinely don't care how good a piece of ai generated art or writing looks on the surface. i don't care if it emulates brush strokes and metaphor in a way indistinguishable from those created by a person.

it is not the product of thoughtful creation. it offers no insights into the creator's life or viewpoint. it has no connection to a moment in time or a place or an attitude. it has no perspective. it has no value.

it's empty, it's hollow, and it exists only to generate clicks (and by extension, ad revenue.)

it's just another revolting symptom of the disease that is late stage capitalism, and it fucking sucks.

[cutter-kirby]

getting into both of these games at the same time is pretty funny

[anthonycrowley]

the neil gaiman sa allegations are wild because i’m sitting here like wow neil gaiman had an incredibly intense impact on me in a variety of ways for at least the better part of a decade like at the very least most of my friends i made directly or indirectly with my connection with gomens and i think it’s fair to say that if anyone has made gomens a personality trait it’s me. and i saw that five separate women (so far) came forward saying at the very least he’s a fucking creep who preys upon women who he holds power over so i went wow that’s disgusting i don’t think i will be supporting this man financially any longer. at the very least. like i will make a conscious effort to not support. this fucking. predator. and then i go onto the wider internet and people i hold in high regard are like neilman sa allegations? what’s that? news outlets i hold in high regard are like neilman sa allegations? what are those? and i feel like i am actually for real going insane. why are you gaslighting me pretending the author of my favorite book doesn’t have active sa allegations against him. why are you making me, a fan, be the one to get this news out to the best of my ability (which i feel like i have to do, because i’m a fucking gomens blog) even though i’d rather stick a fork in my hand than discuss this topic more than i absolutely have to. okay i know why it’s because neil is tied up financially in a lot of projects and you as people i respect don’t want to get on his bad side so you can continue to make bank. but also. oh my god. someone in the science fiction/fantasy world grow a fucking spine and take a financial hit for your morality and if you believe in that sort of thing eternal soul just once challenge.

[sualne]

bonclay time

(timeline)

[accirax]

a collection of DCAS memes so far

[caterpillarinacave]

*Dancing Queen by Abba plays in the background*

[mo49ko]

(fengqing 🏹⚔️)

at first i just wanted to draw mq playing with fx's hair but somehow ended up like this

i love how post-canon fq relies on "forgiveness"... the idea that despite everything they stayed together the whole time, but that if they decided to actively make it a thing they could

also i hope u like the outfits i made up 👍👍👍👍👍

(japanese ver. on poipiku)

[galactic-rhea]

you know, maybe I'm wrong, but my interpretation of Anakin/Vader and Redeemed Anakin is that he pretty much is aware he's terrible. He pretty much thinks of himself as a monster even before becoming Vader, he considers himself one as soon as he had to leave Shmi to survive as a slave alone while he got to become The Chosen One and travel the stars (his basic understanding of love is self-sacrifice), he knows the tusken massacre was bad, he knows murdering disarmed Dooku was bad; he knew turning against the jedi and helping Palpatine was bad; he's extremelly self aware of his violence and hates himself for it.

I think it's easy to think of him as nonchalant or as sort of a shameless dick about it all because his General At War Persona was to be jokey and pretend he's having fun. He's very confident on his ability for Murder (tm), he (tragically) became one of the Best general jedis in the order by becoming good at murder, he's useful when he's being murderous at the right people; so he has no doubts on his abilities on this regard; that doesn't mean he isn't aware of how fucked up and cruel it is, but he keeps doing it, and it's all he knows; he was born in violence, raised in violence, taught to yield a extremelly dangerous weapon, groomed into violence, rewarded for violence, cheered for violence, with Ahsoka then he had to teach violence, and then violence just became something that ran in his blood, it came to him easily, too easily because he was never given the means to deal with such a extreme hyperviolent paradigm. So yep, he knows he's good at murder and little self-preservation.

And he probably despised himself for it, he saw himself as less than a being with human rights, he saw himself as a weapon and he hated not being seen as a person, and at some point he became apathic about it, the fight left him as soon as he had no future with a family. As Vader his hate and anger is just cold fury, is mostly apathy and a void of emotions, there's just pain and self-disgust and regret and old anger, there's not even trying to be something else anymore, it's all he's ever been good at and all he's being asked to do.

So redeemed Anakin (which canonically just means Ghost Anakin lmao) acting oblivious or playing the dumb or victim card it's just something I can't even imagine him to do; like Anakin is aware of being violent and messed up and Bad, but he is completely unable to concieve the idea of having been a victim because besides violence, Anakin's other big trait is that he never ever processes trauma and he horrifically has a history of blaming himself instead of the people who owned him.

This guy, when he was at his best as a Jedi, was pathologically prone to suicidal missions even when it wasn't a necessity, he thinks he's an asset, a means for his superiors to impose their stance and chose to own it, instead of blaming his superiors he just hates himself because he can't stop pathetically reliving when he left his mom behind, when he carried her corpse, when he retaliated against even innocents including kids, when he hurt Padmé, all the times he failed, and the he lived in his personal, fitly created just for him, inferno and had no plans to escape it until one certain sunshine farmer showed up, and all because he thinks he deserves the torture and the abuse and being owned because he's just good at murder and nothing else.

So yeah, no one probably hates him more than himself. Someone could tell Ghost Anakin he's a monster, the worst thing that ever happened in the galaxy and he would say "Yes." And no attempts at arguing or whatsoever, his dignity couldn't be lower if he tried, he would half-heartly agree if someone like Luke said the emperor did him wrong by, y'know, torture him? But then he would also say something like "Well, yes, but cruelty is the way of the Sith, what else could be expected", he's just terribly messed up and couldn't stop himself from defending, at least a little, his literal groomer and abuser and master, and he certainly won't expect forgiveness, like,,,,at all. He can, and will, make excuses for people directly hurting him, but he also would retaliate in terrible ways against anyone, guilty or not, if it meant doing it for someone he cared about.

So Anakin is just...used to being used, and falls easily into being used because it's what he knows best, freedom feels useless and uncertain after he lost padmé.

It's an increíble vicious circle: He worked himself hard to be useful because being useful it's what makes people like him and a means of survival, he then hates himself for being just useful and loosing his personhood, and because he hates himself and thinks he doesn't deserve any sort of...human rights, he keeps on being a mere weapon, an object, but what a good and expensive weapon at least, repeat.

So nope, this guy would be completely unable to even dare to play the victim or excuse himself, even less act as if he doesn't understand he did wrong.