#long and barely comprehensible as always
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sailorblossoms-snowbaz · 6 months ago
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Baz's raised eyebrow:
(yet another "Simon identifies as 'Baz-sexual' for very good reasons' post)
few things have annoyed me more with these books than when people do not take Simon's "I don't know anything about anything but maybe I'm just a Baz-sexual" comments seriously (dismissing it with a combination of not paying attention to what he's putting down and good old confirmation bias). He even says it in less "goofy" ways with lines such as "he's the only person I have ever wanted" (in the context of thinking about having sex) (note the emphasis on ever) (yes, it's one of the clues saying he didn't want to have it with Agatha, in case it's not clear)
"Like Baz has only ever wanted Simon, Simon has only ever wanted Baz," is necessary to bring up before I get to my point here. I have seen Simon being read as in love or attracted to Agatha ("he must have been or else how they had sex?"... I mean, Simon tells you why it happened without attraction, but even if he didn't, we could make an alphabetized list of reasons it can happen without it, the desire to fit in is no joke) or the idea of Simon liking all sorts of girls, including the girl he pointedly doesn't notice despite her being obvious to others, for the sake of drama and conflict. I have wondered if they don't believe the characters, or if they find the highlighted sentence here boring. "It's boring if the characters only want each other," "in real life people want multiple people" – indeed, but not everyone is wired the same (and why are we stuck on "real life" so much anyway in stories about half-dragon and vampire boys falling in love). But it's not like this sentence is without conflict. Note Baz's eyebrow...
In CO, when Simon says Trixie is cute, Baz's reaction is a boyish "I'm going to puke" comment, which is likely part of how he dealt with jealousy and thinking Simon was straight for years: masking his feelings with "harsh" or sort of "edgy" jokes (probably not the right words to use, but getting too hung up on precise wording is the reason I never finish these posts). In awtwb, Simon calls Pippa cute, and Baz raises an eyebrow...
By those reactions, we could say the idea of Simon calling someone cute because he finds them attractive crosses Baz's mind – or is something he feels in some way, even if the thought doesn't explicitly cross his mind. It's something the reader might assume as well... however, I don't think the way Simon uses cute – which can be used in many different situations – says anything about attraction for him. I mean, a gay man can see a girl being cute or gorgeous as well – Baz certainly does! (attraction is portrayed in these books as thoughts derailed, repetition, sentences being cut off, fixating in a detail no one else notices like they do – you see it with Baz and Simon, Agatha and Niamh, Shepard and Penny. Shep doesn't just call Penny cute – he loses his entire goddamn mind for a whole page about her cuteness and her knees. It's not just a passing comment).
I don't think those scenes when Simon says "cute" is highlighting something about him, other than the fact that he's able to note cuteness. I think it's saying more about Baz's insecurities (I know I once posted something long about it somewhere...) Baz brings attention to it in a way with his reactions... because he's bothered by it. It's something that's sort of hidden and sort of contained, but it's there.
Baz doesn't find himself desirable, partly because of his vampiric nature. But part of it is also about the complicated and messy fear that perhaps... Simon has a problem with being with a man (I know I have unpacked this in other posts, finding them though...). Perhaps "a girl would be better" (It's messier with boys than with girls, it's a thought that comes out before he catches himself with "I don't actually know anything about being with boys or girls".... "I don't know anything about being in a relationship," he says, while still being able to catch there was something wrong with Agatha and Simon's relationship when Simon talks about – because Simon will process things he would rather avoid when it's about opening up to Baz, he wants Baz to know things that would help Baz understand him better, even if he himself would rather not understand... still Baz can't let go of the programming of all those years believing in the golden couple – he has spent a longer time believing that than dating Simon, after all) (Agatha is alive and beautiful, the sort of beauty that's used to "embody" "desirability".... and Baz is "not alive"...) (as a side note, have you noticed the idea – or the actual action – of sex with Agatha is used both with Simon and Baz to indicate a lack of desire toward women?)...
While Simon thinks of Baz as the only person he has ever wanted – Baz is as desirable as it gets for him – Baz struggles with feeling desirable at all. Baz doubts and wonders and has to catch himself – even if he doesn't notice he's doing that. Even if he doesn't consciously think "a beautiful girl who is alive is more preferable than me, a gay male vampire." That is a far more interesting conflict than Baz having legit reasons to be jealous, I think. The fact that he has truly nothing to feel jealous about, and yet... he just can’t help it. It's hard to go against years of programming, of going against the idea that everything about yourself is undesirable and it's better to hide it – another way he matches with Simon. They also match in their insecurities, with small differences: Baz is so amazing and attractive while Simon doesn't feel like he's good enough for him, he can do better than him, etc... while Baz clearly only has eyes for Simon, Simon feels like Baz is merely stuck with him. And the conflict here is that you think "they need to TALK and voice their thoughts for the love of god, what do you mean Baz doesn't know Simon sees him as the love of all his lives??"... talking is not enough. That Simon and Baz only have eyes for each other is not without conflict. Sometimes we need to keep hearing some things, and even then... the fears and insecurities don't go away. Especially when we have spent a really long time believing ourselves to be unwanted, undesirable, something to be hidden. When we have been exposed to things that confirmed those beliefs for longer than we have been exposed to things that challenge them
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hajihiko · 2 years ago
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How do you feel about trans hajime agenda
Same way I feel about most gender, sexuality, and neuro headcanons: not something I *personally* really need to talk about or name, but anything that makes people happy is a thumbs up from me
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ckret2 · 2 months ago
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What's your stance on Ford as a person? Honestly, I believe that for thr majority of canon he is a bad person. But I believe he grew. Still not great though XD
(Love him anyways obvs)
I disagree entirely! I think he's equally as good a person as any of the other main cast.*
*Except Mabel, who, as we all know, is always right about everything.**
(**This is a lighthearted joke. For the love of god, I don't want Mabel discourse in my inbox.)
His biggest sins in the show:
After telling his brother that he was thinking about changing their shared life plans, and then discovering that his brother had gone to the high school that night for no good reason and gone to the science fair for no good reason and messed around near Ford's science project for no good reason and broke it and didn't tell Ford about it... Ford believed Stan did it intentionally and held a grudge for it. You know what, it WOULD be pretty damn hard to believe it was an accident.
Hilariously ill-equipped to cope with Fiddleford's mental health. A guy who responds to "I have anxiety" with "have you tried yoga, it helps me" isn't a bad person, he's clueless. "Character cheerfully enacts a bad idea while a loved one in the background goes NO PLEASE DON'T DO THAT" describes half the episodes of Gravity Falls.
Was successfully manipulated by a professional manipulator into believing his best friend wished him ill. Man, what a terrible person Ford is for being manipulated by a manipulator and saying cruel things to somebody he'd been genuinely convinced was trying to harm him.
??? Didn't say thanks to a guy he was still mad at after the guy fixed a problem he himself had caused. This is a solitary example of stubborn bad etiquette, jesus christ. There's half a dozen different reasons why it makes perfect sense Ford wasn't in the right mindset to feel grateful, this is not something worth indicting his entire character over.
He had high ambitions, which everyone seems to lambast him for, but high ambitions that wouldn't have required doing anybody harm! (Until the professional manipulator started manipulating him into harming the people around him, but we are going to demonstrate some reading comprehension and not blame Ford's underlying morality as a person for things he never would've done if not for Bill's bullying, con artistry, and outright lies.) Like, what is it that he wanted to do with his life? Use his talents to get rich and famous? Shit, that's exactly what Stan wanted to do with his life. It's what Dipper fantasizes about doing with his life. Even Mabel, who thinks about her long-term future the least, dreams big with her art & performances and is already making big money off cheap-ass commissions. What terrible people they all are, for—let me check my notes here—uhhh... unrealistically fantasizing about achieving success in life by doing the things they're good at.
When their dad accuses Stan of lying as a child, Ford puts his entire summer on the line to defend Stan even though he knows Stan is a habitual liar and has no reason to believe Stan is telling the truth this time.
When his new college roommate he barely even knows gets laughed at for proposing an outlandish scientific theory, his first emotion is outrage at this injustice and he drops everything to convince his already-despondent roommate that he was right and help him prove it beyond a shadow of a doubt.
When he moves to a new town, he tries again and again to befriend his new neighbors, and fails not because he's rude or a jerk, but because he's awkward as hell, tells terrible jokes, and sucks at identifying phoenixes.
When Fiddleford gets hurt around him, he cares about it, feels guilty about putting him in that position, doesn't want it to happen again, and tries his best to help even though he's bad at helping.
When he gets kidnapped by a weird holiday folklore creature, he concludes without even thinking about it that he's now in charge of protecting and rescuing the kidnapped kids. Yeah, then he immediately starts hollering at the folklore creature for trying to impose his religious beliefs on Ford and the kids—but like, Ford was right tho, he just had bad timing.
When he discovers that the Northwest family committed atrocities against their poorer neighbors a century ago, his first instinct is to march up to their house, find the first Northwest he can locate, and give them a piece of his mind for it. Like, this won't even FIX anything. He's just THAT OUTRAGED over the injustice.
When he sees what he thinks is a fortune telling fraud conning the people, he attempts to debunk her because he's mad to see someone cheating other people with lies—and when he can't debunk her, he just leaves her alone rather than harass her about it. Typically, if assholes think somebody's doing something wrong but don't have any proof of it and fail to get proof when they look, they decide they're right anyway and keep giving that person shit. Ford doesn't give her shit. That's the opposite of an asshole move.
When he discovers his Portal To Knowledge (And Fame & Fortune) is actually a Portal To Doom (But Still Possibly Fame & Fortune, Maybe Even Godly Power), he isn't tempted for a second to keep working on it anyway. There is no moment where Bill manages to tempt him. No matter what Bill offers, no matter how long Bill offers, never, at ANY point, does Ford have a SECOND of "but what if I did make a deal with the devil?" the way so many heroes in similar situations often do.
You ever notice that? So often moral moments in the show are presented as choices the characters make. Will or won't Dipper give Bill a "puppet" in exchange for knowledge. Will or won't Stan fight a pterodactyl to protect Mabel's pig. Will or won't Mabel hand Bipper the journal. Ford is never given a "will or won't he" moment over Bill's threats, offers of friendship, or offers of infinite power—he steamrolls straight past them without a second of consideration—because, to him, the selfish, cowardly, easy choice ISN'T EVEN AN OPTION. He doesn't even SEE it as making a choice because the possibility of doing the wrong thing is invisible. A character who wavers first before turning Bill down would look more noble for "overcoming" temptation—it's harder to notice just how much stronger Ford's moral compass must be to not even feel temptation in the first place.
Greed and pride never tempt him to join Bill's side. Exhaustion, despair, and fear never tempt him to give up. He bears up under weeks, possibly months of extreme sleep deprivation, physical torture, psychological torture, emotional torture, threats of death, threats of brainwashing, threats to his family. He doesn't hold up so that he can pat himself on the back for being a hero—if that was all it was he would've gone "screw it, this isn't worth it and nobody would know I'm the one who gave up" a week in—he does it because he simply knows it must be done and because he's so isolated (half because of Bill's influence!) that he believes he's the one who must do it, all alone.
Thinking he has to do it by himself isn't egotism or pride; it's helplessness. He thinks no one else stands a chance. He thinks he's alone.
And, when he discovers his Portal To Knowledge is a Portal To Doom, he immediately feels guilty. No trying to deny the situation to protect his ego. No shuffling the blame off to someone else. No "maybe the apocalypse could have a silver lining!" No locking the door and trying to ignore the problem. He blames himself for being fooled—he IMMEDIATELY takes full responsibility for his actions—and he CONTINUES to take responsibility FOR THE NEXT THIRTY YEARS.
He takes more responsibility than is even warranted—he treats himself like he's an idiot for believing in an APPARENT GOD who's been practicing manipulating humans for thousands of years and who had never given Ford reason to believe the portal was anything but what Bill said it was. He beats himself up to no end every single time his past with Bill comes up. He even keeps beating himself up thirty years later when he's shoving warning notes to future readers in Bill's evil unkillable book!
When he falls into the multiverse, he dedicates his entire life NOT to finding a way to rescue himself, but to finding a way to permanently stop the CHAOS GOD who's still at the threshold of destroying Ford's world and countless others. He makes himself a hated criminal in the process, just to stop Bill. He's ready to spend the rest of his life trying to protect a world he doesn't think he'll ever see again. He does it because, as he sees it, somebody has to stand in between the children and the obnoxious folklore cryptid menacing them, and he's the only adult in this damn cave with the skills and knowledge for the job.
When he gets home, he doesn't tell his family about Bill and his quest because he's afraid that doing so will get them involved and endanger them too—and because he's too deeply ashamed of himself and his mistakes to stand the thought of his family knowing about the horrible things he's done (AGAIN, WHILE BEING MANIPULATED BY THE GOD OF MANIPULATION).
He loves his great-niece and great-nephew the second he lays eyes on them; he nevertheless tries to steer away from them to keep them safe from Bill; and yet he caves to the very first temptation to emotionally bond with his great-nephew he gets, because in spite of his noble "keep them safe" intentions, he wants so so badly to be close to his family.
As pissed as he still is at Stan and even though neither of them can look at each other without hissing like cats, he still makes an attempt to start bridging their divide by inviting him to play DD&MD.
When the apocalypse happens, he immediately puts his life on the line to try to kill Bill.
And when he's captured, isn't fazed for a second by Bill's offers or threats... until his family is threatened. The exact thing he'd been trying to avoid & prevent from the very start.
And when he's reunited with Fiddleford, his immediate reaction is to point out that Fiddleford's well within his rights to hate him—which isn't a new revelation, it's not like Ford had to do any soul-searching to reach this conclusion, he'd concluded that 30 years ago the instant he realized Bill had played him and that he'd been lied to about Fiddleford.
And then he tries to kill Bill again.
And then he's ready to sacrifice his own life to kill Bill—and the only reason he doesn't is because he has a metal plate preventing him from making the sacrifice... but, Stan doesn't have a plate. If Ford hadn't had the metal plate, he would have gladly done the exact same thing Stan did—and he would have thought it was right for him and only him to make that sacrifice, because it's VERY clear he feels (and has felt from the start) that this is all his fault and he's obligated to fix it.
Over and over and over, these are Ford's two defining character traits: getting so pissed off at injustice that his common sense shuts off and he goes into terminator mode until he's righted this wrong as best he can, even when he can't actually do anything about it; and feeling like he's Atlas, weighed down with the full responsibility of fixing everything he's done wrong and made to believe that, for everyone else's sake, he has to do it all alone. Even when doing so puts himself in harm's way, even when he has to put his entire life on hold for it, even if it might cost him his life. Scrape off his awkward social skills, his loneliness, his nerdiness, his endless curiosity, his zealous love of the strange, his starry ambitions, his yearning for recognition and success—scrape his personality down to the bone and that's what you're left with. A man who believes in defending the exploited so strongly that it makes him a little stupid.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume that you probably don't think Stan's fundamentally a bad person, and that you probably think that isn't even worth questioning. Stan's made a whole career out of swindling people, conning them out of as much money as he possibly can, stealing, lying, committing a long list of goofily-named crimes, and attempting douchy pick-up artistry on women; and to cap it all off, he held the safety of the entire universe hostage to demand a goddamn "thank you." Don't send me any "But he had reasons—" "But it was only to—" I don't need it, I don't want the essay, I'm not arguing that Stan's a bad guy, it's fine.
But. You can look at Stan's moments of cruelty and unkindness, his uncharitable thoughts, his character flaws, and think, "that doesn't define him. He's more than his cruelest moments and worst mistakes. He's imperfect, but he cares so much and his heart's in the right place, and beneath all the flaws his core is good."
And if you can't do the same for Ford, it's not because he's a worse person. It's because we got two seasons with Stan and five and a half episodes with Ford—and while we saw Stan yearning to fish with the kids or encouraging Mabel to whoop Pacifica's butt at minigolf or crying over a black and white period drama or punching zombies to save his family, we only saw Ford at the worst moments in his life and under the stress of a prolonged apocalyptic crisis—and, it so happens, all the moments he was pissed at the guy we spent two seasons learning to love.
Ford's got moments of cruelty and unkindness, uncharitable thoughts, and character flaws. But, at his core, he's a good person, and he always has been, and he still is.
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lovebugism · 4 months ago
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✶ ┄ PAIR OF WINGS, GENTLY USED !
part one | part two
summary: following the aftermath of rook's rest, aemond struggles to convince you of his innocence while aegon struggles to stay alive. the three of you come to the striking realization that love is not always soft – sometimes it feels like dragonfire. (12k)
pairing: aemond targaryen / f!reader / aegon targaryen
contents: established realtionship(s), enemies to lovers, arranged marriage, angst, hurt/comfort cw for mentions of gore and violence, swearing, cheating, smut 18+, threesome (sorta? but not really?), cuckholding, exhibitionism & voyeurism (aegon likes to watch)
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The battle waging across the sea startles you from sleep. You rouse before sunset to your heart unfurling behind your ribcage, pierced and bleeding out, as though you were one of the many soldiers reaching their end on the battlefield. 
You wake from the nightmare only to enter the next — a raven, sent at dawn, from an allied house along the bay. Written in splattered ink along the worn parchment is a report of injuries sustained by the king. Alicent reads them aloud to you and Helaena, with shaking hands and a trembling voice. Your heart’s beating too loudly in your ears to understand her.
“His Grace fell violently from many leagues above the ground,” she managed to recite through choked-back cries. “Riddled with dragonflame, His Grace’s armor has melted heartily to his flesh—” 
You find yourself planted firmly on the steps of the Dragonpit without a clue of how you got there, dressed only in your thin nightgown and thinner slippers. You suppose it was muscle memory that carried you there. You think it must be muscle memory, still, that has kept you standing in the same place — unmoving as the lilac sunrise turns sickly grey with rainclouds, without any food or drink offered by the handmaidens you have since sent away.
It is a profound and heavy thing, you realize, to be alive in the fresh early morning, when the world is so broken and ending for so many. The thought of Aegon dying in the sweetness of late summer makes you weep. You choke back burning tears in wait for his brother’s return — Aemond Targaryen, your husband, your wound — from which there has been no word.
A black, ponderous cloud of worry fogs your mind. You can see it all so vividly; feel it all as if you lived it — a death so horrid and beyond your comprehension. You wait and ache while your brain hums with madness.
You hear Vhagar before you see her. 
The great beast shifts storm clouds with its leviathan wings, shaking the ground with each slow and heavy flutter as she nears the ground. Even from here, you can see the holes piercing her thin, satiny skin. 
Your racing heart drops to your swirling stomach at the thought of Aegon falling from such a height — still saddled to a dying Sunfyre, looking directly at a certain death, unable to stop its coming. The thought of Aemond being with him during what the survivors of Rook’s Rest are calling The Night of A Thousand Suns fills you with agony. 
Your worry for each of them pricks your skin, from the tips of your fingers to the bottoms of your feet. The entirety of your grief consumes you.
The ground trembles when Vhagar lands in the depths of Dragonpit, just barely fitting within the stone confines of her stable. The beast stills long enough for Aemond to unclip himself from her saddle and slide off her back. Then she’s off again, to the northernmost forest of King’s Landing, to heal by herself in the nest she made a century or so ago.
The gust of wind from her wings takes your breath away. Or perhaps it’s just the sight of Aemond, in the flesh, seemingly unharmed despite the worries that had been plaguing you all morning. Your mind swirls with deeper concerns instead, with horrid thoughts you’ve been choking back like bile since the Raven arrived.
You stand in place on the top step while Aemond stalks towards you. He peels off his leather gloves and dismisses the dragonkeepers with a wave of his pale hand. You feel like your heart’s in your throat when he stands before you, two steps downward, and of nearly equal height to you. 
You grip his sharp jaw between your fingers, wild eyes darting over his face in search of any sign of harm. Aemond lets you observe him. He knows you need it. 
“I’m alright,” he promises in a soft monotone.
You take hold of both his arms then, despite his assurances, like you have to see them for yourself. Your gaze falls up and down his form as you hunt for remains of an injury — a scrape on his skin, a tear in his leather garb, a smear of ash from a dragon’s flame. 
You find nothing. 
It is hard to be relieved by such a notion when his brother verges on death at this very moment.
“I am alright, my love,” Aemond repeats, firmer now, as if it’ll lessen the leaden weight in your chest. 
He lifts his lanky fingers and wraps them around your wrist, guiding your hand away from his jaw when your nails start to dig unknowingly into his skin. 
He peers at you with his lone eye and waits for you to kiss him — or to hug him, perhaps — something overtly affectionate that comes so naturally to you that has hitherto been very foreign to him. He expects you to be gladdened by his presence after such a tumultuous battle, of which he presumed would bring you closer.
With his brother now mutilated by dragon flame, Aemond flew back to the Red Keep with the understanding that there would be a bed and a throne for him — both empty and cold, waiting to be warmed with you by his side.
They said love was intensified by absence, but your face crumples under the weight of your emotion instead. Glassy tears fill your eyes, which squint with something short of fear as you turn away from him. Your hand slips from his without a single word uttered from you. 
A very distant ache twists somewhere deep in his chest. A wildfire burns in the ether behind his ribcage, far away but scorching all the same. Watching you leave is a fate far worse than the hell his dead or dying brother must be facing at this very moment — hidden in a box somewhere in a throwaway carriage.  
Aemond chokes down his jealousy like bile. He’s spent his whole life wishing he and Aegon could trade places, and now isn’t any different. 
Even as his brother languishes in a mangled, bloodied, and ashened pile of flesh, it is he you still long for. Aemond still cannot compete with him — not even as your husband, not even as a living-breathing thing standing before you.
Because you would always be searching for Aegon. Even in his death. Even in yours.
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“Behold! The traitor dragon Meleys!” a knight bellows beneath the sounds of a tolling bell and trumpeting horns. 
The Kingsguard marches into the city with a beheaded dragon carted behind them. The smallfolk fall silent at the sight of the majestic beast, slaughtered from its scarlet body. You can’t remember a time when King’s Landing was ever so quiet. Something about it feels ghostlike.
“Slain at Rook’s Rest, by your king!” the man shouts, raising his fist in triumph. “To Aegon!”
You can barely hear any of it from here, where you stand at the highest balcony of the Red Keep, which overlooks the entire city — but the hushed silence is deafening, and the fear is achingly palpable. 
Aemond stands just beside you, between you and his mother, with several inches of cautious space between you. He curls his pale hands around the railing and leans over the parapet. A late summer breeze ripples through his silver hair and leather jacket as he tilts his chin to peer at the crowd from the bridge of his nose — looking like he could swallow the whole of the King’s Landing if he wanted.
“Do they not realize we won the battle?” he wonders quietly.
“I don’t believe there are any winners here,” Alicent murmurs after a few long moments, oddly steady despite the worry that threatens to strangle her completely. “This is no victory, Aemond.”
You shake your head in agreement as burning tears gather at your waterline. “No. This is a dark, dark omen.”
You sniffle once, then exhale a shuddering breath from your mouth. Your hand reaches for your tightening chest to curl your fingers around the dainty necklace between your collarbones. A gift Aemond had made upon your betrothal — a golden rose to match the sigil of your old house, with an emerald sitting in the center to represent the one you married into.
Alicent looks past Aemond and over to you. Her wide brown eyes flit back and forth from your teary features to your tremoring fingers. She squints and tucks a rogue auburn curl behind her ear when it billows in her face. “How do you mean?” 
“Growing up, I was taught that dragons were gods,” you confess, voice wet with unshed tears. “And this… This is not a victory march, Your Grace. This is an abomination.”
Your words hang heavy over the three of you for several long moments. The weight of them is palpable, like a pillow to the face. They force the breath from your lungs and demand to be acknowledged. And as the rest of the city recoils in fright, bowing their heads as though this was a funeral procession, the truth behind your words becomes indisputable.
Behind the beheaded Meleys is a cart carrying an unmarked box. There is no fanfare surrounding it, no horses or knights or signs of life. It is hardly more than a grim crate blanketed by a few tattered rags. A casket, perhaps.
“Is that him?” you try to ask, though the words get stuck in your throat. You clear it and try again. “Is— Is that Aegon?”
Alicent blinks back tears and nods until she chokes them down again. “’Tis likely,” she answers plainly.
“Do they know if he’s still alive in there?” 
The mother thinks for a moment. Her tongue darts across her bottom lip, feeling the ridges where she’s nipped at them from anxiety, before shaking her head in a wordless response. 
You spare one last look at the maimed Meleys and the casket trailing behind her as the soldiers march closer to the Red Keep. The sight grows blurry with burning tears, like pastel watercolors all bleeding together. You step back from the balcony with a shuddering breath and scurry off without another word. 
Aemond watches you disappear in the corner of his eye but makes no move to stop you. He’d sooner cut off his hand than profess his need for you. It’d be easier, anyway.
You rush down the twisting stone steps of the Red Keep with the skirt of your dress in your hands. As your pretty pink gown flows behind you, you can hear your racing heart in your ears — a vigorous woosh, woosh, wooshing as your adrenaline spikes and pricks at your skin like flames. 
You can hear Ser Branton Selmy’s armor clinking behind you, too, as your personal protector rushes to keep up with your rapid strides in such heavy garb.
You run into Criston Cole when you reach the west wing. Beside him is a nameless face you only vaguely recognize. He’s a Hightower, no doubt, so you figure he must be Gwayne. The pretty man looks strikingly similar to his sister, the Queen Dowager. And he has all the hardened features of his father. 
You vaguely notice the horrors of war etched onto their otherwise handsome faces just before your eyes look past them — to the white cloaks heaving a wooden box down the corridor.
“Where are they taking him?” you ask with bated breath, fists tremoring where they clench the tulle of your skirt.
Ser Gwanye runs a pale hand through his auburn locks, pushing the long strands over his forehead. Both his hair and his hands are stained with bits of blood and dirt. “The far west end, princess,” he answers politely. “That is as much as I’ve heard, anyway.”
Your breath catches in your throat. “Our bedroom?” you wonder aloud before you mean to, eyes wide and full of apprehension.
Gwayne, too, looks on in shock. He blinks at you for a moment, before turning to Ser Criston for a surer answer. 
The Lord Commander of the Kingsguard (and, most recently, the Lord Hand) peers at you with a sympathetic gaze. He ducks his scruffy chin to his chest as his dark eyes swim with apology.
“It is the closest bedroom to the Maester’s quarters, princess,” Criston tells you. “And right now, His Grace needs all the help he can get.”
You hurry to the furthest end of the Red Keep, knowing its only importance before now was being the outermost point from the bedroom you shared with Aemond. It was a very intentional decision you made when Aegon insisted the two of you share a room like any true couple would. (You figured if you were going to fuck his brother, it’d be polite if you didn’t make him bear witness to it.)
You stand in the doorway while the knights lift Aegon’s body from the crate, all wrapped in a burlap sack, as though he was presumed to die on the way home from battle. They lie him tenderly in the center of your shared bed. His blood stains the silk where you have laughed and cried and pleasured each other. 
He’s still in his armor, though half of it is singed and nearly melted, and the maesters make quick work of tending to his fragile body. You can hardly see him now, with all the people rushing about, but you think perhaps it’s best that way. You know if you saw him in such a state, you’d never be able to forget it — and if Aegon was going to die today, he didn’t deserve to be remembered that way.
“Is he alive?” you gasp quietly into the chaos.
“His Grace remains with us,” Maester Orwyle answers carefully, dark eyes meeting yours from across the room. “For the moment.”
He’s still breathing, is what he’s really saying. But who knows for how long?
When the maesters start to peel the armor from the boy’s burned body, you feel a warm hand on your shoulder. 
Ser Branton appears suddenly behind you and comforts you with a weathered touch, which is not typically permitted for knights. Touching the nobility was strictly off-limits unless completely necessary, and Ser Branton knows it. He’s been a member of the Kingsguard since before you were born. Long enough to earn the name Branton the Brave. But he figures this moment is as necessary as any other.
“Best look away, princess,” he advises in a gruff and gentle voice. “Let me escort you back to your chambers until the work is done.”
You will yourself to answer him, to let him whisk you away completely, to let him take you on a horse ride outside the city walls — anything to get you away from the unsightly horrors before you. But you remain still and silent despite yourself, watching the skin of your first love come off in melted strings as the maesters peel his armor away.
The smell of burnt flesh fills the room, along with the coppery tang of blood. 
A pair of hurried footsteps sound behind you as Alicent rushes into the room. “Is he breathing?” she frets as she migrates to her eldest boy’s bedside, trying to peer past the bustling bodies for a glimpse of him. Her breath hitches at the sight of his charred chest, rising and falling with shallow and uneven breaths.
“Is my son going to die?” the mother rephrases with her hand to her mouth.
“I’m afraid I cannot say,” Maester Orwyle answers. He works with steady enough hands, but the waver in his voice is not reassuring. “If you’ll excuse me, Your Grace, these next hours are most critical.”
Alicent nods and takes a stumbling step back. “Of course,” she murmurs inaudibly.
You gravitate closer to the foot of the bed with wide and glazed-over eyes, perceiving nothing and everything all at once. You feel a bit like you’re dreaming, or like you’re underwater — like none of this is real. 
But you still flinch at the sharp click of his broken bone being snapped back into place. And your chest still aches at the sound of his raspy breaths as he fights hard for each one of them.
You don’t notice Aemond entering the room until he caresses you with an icy hand. You fight back a shiver under his touch. His fingers are oddly gentle as they curl around the back of your neck, like he’s comforting you and reminding you to whom you belong simultaneously. 
“He’s alive,” he observes indifferently.
“For now,” Alicent nods from the other side of the bed.
“By the grace of the Gods, no doubt,” Aemond monotones. He smooths his thumb over your skin in a reassuring pet as he looks past you to his mother. “But still… Someone will have to rule in his stead.”
For the first time in several minutes, your eyes part from Aegon’s body to glare at the boy beside you. Your gaze turns glassy as it swims with newfound tears. They burn at your waterline — not with grief now, but with anger. 
You say nothing as you swat his hand away, turning on your heel and storming out of the room with Ser Branton close behind. Your hands ball into trembling fists at your sides. Your nails bite into the soft skin of your palm as you struggle to breathe through your rage.
The people have called you the Rose of King’s Landing since you first arrived to the city, some years ago now. You were as pretty and as delicate as they come — at least, that’s what they told you. But as your fury builds like bile in your throat, you no longer feel as fragile as a flower. You feel like Wildfire, green and flammable and volatile, moments away from being set ablaze.
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Rain beats in fat droplets against the stained glass windows of the Sept. The wild cadence of the brewing storm mixes with the crackling of lit candles — the only two sounds filling the silent church. Lightning flashes and basks the expansive room in vivid purple hues for a moment before darkness returns again. 
Aemond watches the flickering amber flames paint you in shades of gold as you kneel before them. 
Your hands are entwined, but he knows you’re not praying. You haven’t prayed since you arrived to the city, as far as he understands it. You confessed to him, once, that you lost the need for all that when you lost your home. 
He surmises that you came all this way to escape him — or, perhaps, the Red Keep in its entirety. The smell of death has overtaken the castle. The chaos within it has similarly refused to cease. Though he does not blame you for running, he cannot abide by your attempts to elude him. 
His boots scuff the stone as he walks further into the Sept. The soft sound echoes through the quiet church. Your head whips over your shoulder in its direction. 
Aemond swipes his rain-soaked hood from his silver head. The candlelight dances over his narrow features, softening the sharpened edges of them. 
“I didn’t think you’d be here,” he confesses as he stalks closer to you, hands clasped behind his back, hidden beneath his heavy cloak. “I’ve been searching all over for you, to be sure.”
“Have you?” you hum unenthusiastically, rising to full height and smoothing the skirt of your dress. You tilt your chin to follow Aemond’s eyes when he towers over your smaller form.
“Normally, when you’re absent, I find you with the king. But considering my brother’s… current predicament…” he lilts cautiously, though the words spill from his mouth with a very intentional venom. “I struggled to place your whereabouts. I was moments away from sending the gold cloaks after you.”
You would be touched by his worry if you believed it to be true. 
Your husband has always been intrinsically difficult to read, but you feel like you no longer know him now. As he looms before you — a pretty boy who always thought himself too ugly to be loved — he becomes an unrecognizable thing. Your stomach swirls at the uncanny feeling.
“I didn’t mean to worry you, husband,” you say with a pretty smile that verges on cynical. “I know you have much on your plate at the moment. What with trying to find a regent to take Aegon’s place and all.”
The banter is familiar, though it’s not typically so weighty — so backhanded and so filled with unspoken rage. The two of you fake smiles at each other while simultaneously biting your tongues so hard that blood pools in your mouths.
You take slow and unsure steps towards him, until your wringing hands brush his clothed torso. You peer up at him from beneath your lashes in a suddenly solemn look, which sparkles with hope and fear and dread. 
“Can you tell me what happened to him? Please,” you murmur sheepishly, all but begging him now. “So I can stop imagining it.”
Aemond hums to himself, tilting his head curiously to the side. “And what are you imagining in that pretty little head of yours, hm?”
You avert your gaze to your fidgeting hands, where your fingers wring themselves into knots. Your tongue grazes your anxiety-bitten lip as you inhale a shaking breath, fighting for the courage to answer. 
“Before your mother told me of the raven we’d received… About Aegon’s health, I was having… the most awful dream,” you confess for the first time aloud. “A nightmare— about you and Aegon flying together on dragonback. Aegon was… struggling to take on Meleys while you…”
Aemond waits with bated breath as you trail off. “While I what?” he presses.
“Watched,” you agonize, face twisted as you recall the vivid dream that feels like a memory now. “You set Vhagar on him, and you watched.”
“Hm,” Aemond hums apathetically. “A nightmare indeed.”
You meet his flat face with teary eyes. “So tell me what happened to him,”you repeat, firmer now. “Please.”
“I’m afraid it is quite boring— talk of war,” the boy lilts as he walks past you and toward the burning candles. “But, if you must know, we took the castle at the cost of… some nine hundred men.”
“And what of Aegon?”
Aemond lays his palm flat over a flickering flame and looks at you over his shoulder, like he doesn’t feel any of it — or, at the very least, like he wants you to think he doesn’t. 
“His Grace fought valiantly. But he was drunk when he mounted Sunfyre, and Rhaenys... She was no stranger to battle. Aegon was long in the dying, I’m afraid— the outcome was surely inevitable.”
“And where were you?” you blurt with the courage strikes you suddenly. “What was your part in all this?”
Something in Aemond’s eyes flickers, as though in surprise of your subtle accusation. Though, perhaps it’s only the candlelight. 
“I set Vhaghar on The Queen Who Never Was,” he shrugs plainly. “I distracted her from my brother, and slaughtered her dragon.”
You muster a wavering grin. “What a heroic tale.”
“I wouldn’t wish such a sight on my worst enemy,” Aemond tells you solemnly as he swipes ash from his calloused palms. He thinks for a moment, then corrects himself. “Well… Perhaps I would…”
The edges of his lips lift in a barely-there smirk. The one you give him in return is weighed down with an obvious emotion, which is etched now across your delicate features. 
“I want to believe you had no part in this, Aemond… But my mind refuses to relent on the matter.”
Aemond’s face hardens. Lightning flashes in violet hues and casts daunting shadows over the sharp edges of his face. His words are accompanied by rolling thunder that trembles the earth under your feet. “I loved my brother��”
“I think someone like you can care a lot about a person and still be able to kill them,” you confess, so gently it feels like a proclamation of love.
“Maybe so,” he hums indifferently.
His apathy is unsurprising, but it doesn’t hurt you any less. The familiarity of it pierces you like a dagger and presses its lips to your forehead like a kiss all at once. There is intimacy, hidden somewhere in his detachment — and if it’s all because he loves you, does it matter if it hurts?
“I used to love you, Aemond,” you tell him because it feels necessary now, considering you can’t get anything tangible out of him. “Even when you didn’t believe I did. Especially when you didn’t believe I did.”
The blatant use of the past tense feels like a cold hand wrapped around his throat. “What changed?” 
“You did.”
“No,” Aemond insists with a stubborn shake of his head as he closes the distance between you. His footsteps are as light and as measured as the late-summer rain raging outside. “I’m the same as I ever was… You only see me completely now. That’s all.”
He curls his cold hands around your waist to pull you closer. His touch is familiar in a way that makes your stomach ache — like an old house that used to be yours, but isn’t anymore; like a place that you should remember, but barely can. 
Your breath catches in your throat because his words feel like a confession.
The corner of his mouth quirks in a proud smile because he is confessing, and you’re still letting him hold you.
“We have seen the worst parts of each other, have we not? And yet…” Aemond trails off, ducking softly down like he intends to kiss you. Your lips part in wait for his despite yourself. He trails the tip of his chiseled nose over the bridge of yours instead. “We understand each other in our bones. We cannot help but to live inside of one another, like… A snake… doomed to swallow its own tail.”
His chapped lips duck to graze your pulse point. You exhale a trembling breath as your hands ball into fists at your sides. You make no attempt to stop him, however, as though paralyzed by your deep-rooted affection for him.
“Or a fish hook… into an open eye,” Aemond continues cynically, breath fanning warm over your collarbones. Chill bumps pebble over your delicate skin in his wake. The sight makes him swell with pride. “Or a decaying corpse and its maggots… Mutual destruction—”
He rises again to kiss you, mouth parted like he plans to swallow you whole. 
Your senses return, and you pull back from him — just enough for your lips to graze but not fully meet. You realize, then, that you’re holding your breath. You exhale a wavering sigh as you stand obediently ahead of him. Nose to nose, chest to chest, heartbeart to heartbeat.
“You’re a nightmare,” you pant against his mouth, eyes fluttering shut as you raise a hand to his face. The pad of your thumb smooths over the marred skin beneath his patched eye. “There is deeply wrong with you, Aemond. And I think whatever is… is wrong with me also.”
Lightning strikes with a resounding crack some leagues away — or, perhaps, in his own chest, which warms at the thought of being understood by you. 
He kisses you with the fire behind his ribcage, breathes the smoke from his lungs into yours. The Kinslayer licks into your mouth, and you let him.
You’re doomed to it, you realize — doomed to acknowledging the very worst parts of him and never being able to abandon him. To spending a lifetime unwrapping his misdeeds and kissing them away like a baby with a scraped knee. 
You will spend the rest of your life holding his darkened soul up to the light and trying hard to understand him. And as Aemond kisses the breath from your lungs in the middle of the candlelit Sept, in the epicenter of a raging summer storm, you think it must be better than not having him at all.
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The days anticipating Aegon’s waking are ruthless and bloodstained. 
You don’t need sleep for many of them, and you only part from his bedside long enough to tend to your wifely duties. The castle sees little of you otherwise. You become a ghostly thing instead — a phantom of your own regret, a shadow of all your sins. 
And even when it’s full of so much love, all a ghost can do is haunt. You idle at Aegon’s bedside accordingly. Solemnly, silently, softly. While melancholy stains your hands like blood.
You feel as though you’re cleansing your impure touch every time you dip your hands into the steaming bowl of water at your side. You soak Aegon’s bandages in its medicinal contents until it burns your skin raw. Until you find repentance in the ache. And then you smooth them carefully over his raging wounds the way Maester Orwyle taught you.
Your unworthy hands run gently over his lithe, burnt, and death-touched body, finding holiness in his pale skin. You kneel at his side and hold his unhurt hand in both of yours — not to pray, but to atone.
“If you’re going to die here, in our bed, I hope very much that you intend to haunt me,” you whisper through tears, bringing his hand to your mouth and running your lips over the grooves of his knuckles. “I would much rather you drive me mad from the spiritual plane than go where I cannot follow you.”
Your handmaiden knocks softly on the door, then. She peeks just enough inside to tell you the high council meeting has finished — the council of which your husband now sits at the head. 
Aemond, crowned newly regent, wears the weight of kinghood like he was always meant to do it. You hate how well it fits him. You hate what lengths he’s gone to steal a crown that no person should ever aspire to possess. 
Still, though, you part from Aegon with a kiss to his unburnt cheek and walk to the other side of the castle to tend to your husband — like a sheep led to slaughter.
“Dove?” Aegon calls in a raspy voice, the name like gravel in his throat, when he feels you disappear from his side.
You do not hear him.
Aegon slips back into the lonely abyss.
You retire the following morning to the Godswood — the only place in King’s Landing where you’re free from pitied glances and words of sympathy. You sit against the white bark of the old weirwood tree with a heavy book propped on your knees. The rising sun filters in golden rays through the orange leaves, which rustle in time with a calm summer wind.
Aemond finds you there when you don’t arrive to break your fast. Something about the sight of you forces him back into childhood — all bathed in the late morning sun, in a pretty pink dress that sits in a perfect circle around you, like a painting that breathes with life. 
In that moment, he’s a kid who still has both his eyes — who doesn’t startle people when he looks at them — who hasn’t hurt anyone yet because no one’s yet hurt him. For a flicker of a moment, the two of you are strangers. Strangers who haven’t ruined each other by being together.
Aemond chokes down the nostalgia and strangles it in a clenched fist. “The table is set,” he calls to you, in place of any real greeting.
You don’t look up from your book as you flip the page. “I’m not hungry.”
“You haven’t eaten in days,” the boy tells you, trying hard to bite back his misplaced anger.  “You’ll soon be withering away with my brother if you aren’t careful.”
“I’d rather,” you murmur cynically as your chin tilts to meet his eyes. 
You don’t mean to glare at him the way you do, but it’s hard to look at the mirror of yourself any other way. A part of him slipped into you that night at the Sept, like lightning through the stained glass windows, and now it’s hard to stomach the sight of him. 
“What are you reading?” Aemond asks, changing the subject entirely, as he nods to the heavy book covering the expanse of your lap. 
You avert your gaze then, like you’re ashamed of the answer. He walks closer to peek at the thick parchment pages and finds a hand-drawn diagram of a maimed body with increasing levels of burnt skin. His chest pinches as he seethes.
“Even in death, my brother is still the one you want,” Aemond scoffs a bitter laugh. “He is always where your loyalties will lie— ”
“Well, Aegon is not dead,” you correct with an eerily steady voice as your eyes hardened into an unwavering squint. “Though I know how much it must pain you.”
“You’re meaning eludes me, I’m afraid. You’ll have to speak more plainly.”
“You are easily the smartest man I have ever met,” you confess with a gentle smile. “So please do not patronize me by playing the fool.”
Aemond opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. He is, instead, interrupted by hurried footsteps that crunch crunch crunch atop the falling leaves. “We’re busy,” he snaps as he whips his head over his shoulder.
Maester Orwyle cowers. His chain rattles as he bows his bald head in apology. “Excuse me, Prince Regent— Princess— But I am happy to report that His Grace, The King has regained consciousness this morning.”
Your heart lurches into your throat, making it very suddenly hard to breathe. Your feet scramble for purchase on the ground as you stand to full height again. Dirt stains your hands as you clutch the heavy book between them.
“Only for a few moments,” the man amends before he overexcites you.
“But he is awake?” you press with bated breath.
The Maester nods. “He is.”
“I knew it,” you say, laughing giddily to yourself. “I knew his breath was coming easier to him.”
Maester Orwyle struggles to keep his emotions at bay with your infectious excitement. “Aye. The King is much stronger than I gave him credit for,” the man nods, hands clasped as though in prayer. “He may yet live— thank the Gods.”
“What happy news,” Aemond hums when he realizes he hasn’t yet said anything. 
His thin lips purse in a quiet smile as his glacial gaze flits over to you. He stares mostly from the side of his patched eye, so ardently it feels like he’s looking at you through the covered sapphire hidden behind it. 
“Perhaps you should accompany Maester Orwyle to my brother’s chambers. I will inform the family as we break our fast,” the boy tells you with purely selfish intent. 
He figures it’ll be easier to watch you rush back into Aegon’s arms if he’s commanding it of you. His chest threatens to swirl with warmth, however, at the relieved look you give him. 
Your eyes soften for the first time since he returned from Rook’s Rest. You don’t care whether he’s holding an olive branch in his hand or a dagger. You’re thankful for it, either way. 
“Of course, Your Grace,” you say with an obedient bow of your head. 
You go to kiss his cheek before you part from him, if only to maintain appearances in front of the Maester.“Thank you,” Aemond hears you whisper before your mouth meets his skin. The plush of your lips grazes the pink scar beneath his eye in a softer touch than he expects, in a softer touch than he deserves.
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You burst through the ornate double doors of the west-end bedroom like a million glittering sun rays. 
Aegon can only see you through the bleary haze of his one good eye, but he knows you put The Night of a Thousand Suns to shame. He’s seen dragonfire closer than most people have, and not even that can rival the vividity of his glittering Dove.
The bustling maesters part wordlessly for you like breaking rain clouds. You rush like sunshine past them and straight to his bedside. “Aegon!” you call, teary-eyed and giggling at the sight of his woken state. 
He expects you to flinch when you’re closer to him, to recoil at the sight of his melted flesh. He wouldn’t blame you for it — it’d hurt, of course, but he wouldn’t blame you. It shocks him most when you bend at the waist to kiss him instead. 
Your lips graze the unburnt skin of his right cheek. Aegon can smell rose petals in your hair and lavender on your skin when you lean over him. It smells like home when everything around him reeks of death.
“I’m surprised you still recognize me—” Aegon jokes dryly, then drags in a ragged breath when his lungs start screaming. The inhale rattles through his bare chest, covered partially in the bandages you helped dress before break of day. “—After all this.”
You sit at his side and smile so hard your eyes squint at the edges. “Don’t be absurd. I was born knowing you, Aegon,” you argue with his jaw cradled in a gentle hand. You look over your shoulder to the nearest maester and request, “Can you fetch me some marigolds? And dandelion, please? Oh! And a pot of hot water to make tea in?”
The older man bows his head obediently and asks no question as he stalks out of the room.
You turn back to Aegon. “I hear it may help treat your burns. It’ll at least ease the pain of them, I’m sure.”
The boy shifts in a feeble attempt to get comfortable, which is an impossible feat considering his current state — with half of his body riddled with oozing burns and an elevated leg, shattered and likely never the same again. The only comfort he finds is your warm hand on his cheek. He leans into it like a sunflower to sunshine.
“How do you know all that?” he rasps.
“I read it in a book.”
His remaining eye flits to the edge of the bed, where you’ve laid a thick volume at his feet. He scoffs at the sight of it, then coughs when his lungs burn (which, of course, only adds to the sting.) 
“A boring book,” the boy insists as you ease a cup of water to his dry mouth, cupping his chin to catch the dribble.
“Only slightly,” you joke with a quiet smile. “But I fear I was quite motivated in learning how to treat you.”
Aegon smacks his chapped lips when you pull away, watching attentively as you sit the chalice back at his bedside. His chest blooms with something warm: his affection for you, perhaps, or maybe the lingering ash in his lungs.
“You’re slaving over the Grand Maester’s books—” He inhales a wheezing breath that leaves in a rattling exhale. “—To learn how to take care of me?”
“Yes.”
“What wretched work.”
“Not to me,” you insist with a blossoming grin. “Not if it’s you.”
Aegon’s ocean eye goes glassy with burning tears he tries hard to blink away. A furrow forms in the marred skin of his forehead as his brows pinch together — one singed off and the other half gone. His features crumple as he forces himself to choke down his emotion like bile. 
He hasn’t cried about it yet. About any of it. His manhood has already been stripped from him — he’s scared that if he cries about it now, it’ll be like admitting some kind of defeat.
You seem to know this without words. Like you can read it all in his very expressive face, which he knows is so much different now than the one you fell in love with. You don’t look at him like he’s any different, though, and something about it makes his head spin.
“Will you lay with me?”
“I can’t, Aegon— I wouldn’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t hurt me,” he wheezes. “You can’t.”
Despite your better judgment, you round the mattress to lay at his unburnt side. The muscle memory that carries you there feels strange. You’ve been rounding this very bed to lay to the right of him for many moons now — a side you claimed wordlessly as your own, as Aegon did with the left. Nothing has changed. Only, at the same time, everything has changed.
You recline gingerly along the feathered mattress, careful not to jostle the boy too much. When you turn to rest on your side, Aegon shifts on the mattress to be level with you. He doesn’t get too far, what with his elevated leg and the rest of him much too stiff. He turns his chin to his shoulder to face you instead. His eyes flutter shut when you lift your hand to his face, tracing the edges of his bandages with a featherlight touch.
“How can you still look at me like that?” Aegon croaks as your pointer finger trails down the slope of his nose.
“Like what?” you murmur distantly.
“I don’t know,” he answers before a wheeze racks through his chest. “Like you still love me.”
His words hit you like a fist to the stomach. Something about them makes your throat tighten with a welling emotion.
“Because I do love you, Aegon,” you answer through a teary giggle, resting a very delicate hand over his bandaged jaw. “I can’t help it. I knew I was doomed to it since I was ten-and-three— when you told me you were betrothed to Helaena, and yet I was still searching for you in all the eyes of my potential suitors.”
“Do you search for me now?” he mumbles with a hopeful gleam in his remaining eye.
Your smile widens. “I search for you always.”
“Even now?”
“Always,” you repeat.
“What if I…” he trails off, smacking his dry mouth and averting his gaze. 
He looks, instead, at the green silk draping the ceiling — where he insisted a mirror be hung some days ago. He said he wanted to see you from every angle when you were riding him, said that was of utmost importance. All that feels pretty moot now, though, and the notion makes his chest ache.
“What if I’m different after this?” he wonders through the ash trapped in his lungs. You know it must hurt for him to talk, so you grimace when he continues. “What if I’m immobile? What if I— I can’t pleasure you anymore?”
A giggle sputters past your lips. Aegon flinches. He doesn’t know what he expected you to say to that, but he hadn’t expected you to laugh.
“If you think I am only at your side because of my… carnal urges,” you lilt teasingly, rising on your elbow to peer down at him with sparkling eyes. “Then you are sadly mistaken, my king. Surely, you’re forgetting the many, many years it took you to learn my body… wherein your rendered services were, perhaps, less than pleasurable.”
Aegon tries to laugh until his chest stings. The air rushes suddenly from his lungs and leaves a burning sensation in its wake — drier than the sands of Dorne, hotter than dragonfire. 
He grimaces and struggles to catch his breath. He’s only able to relax when you lay your hand over the right side of his chest, where his skin is pale and supple and still normal.
“Meaning no offense, of course,” you continue with a lazy smile. “You’ve undoubtedly become an expert of me over the years.”
Aegon tries not to cower under the sincerity twinkling in your eyes. He can’t tell if you’re just ignoring his freakish nature, or if you’ve already adjusted to it entirely. He prays for the latter. He’s grateful, however, for either.
“Will you kiss me?” he rasps in a breathy whisper.
You don’t answer with words. You only lean forward and press your lips to the flushed apple of his cheek, lingering there for several long moments. The foreign act of tenderness makes him sigh hard through his nose.
You part from him to find his lips quirked in a very distant smile. It isn’t nearly as bright as you’re used to — not as pink or as mischievous — but you can see it still, beneath the layers of bandages and marred skin. 
“Not there,” he jokes with a rattling breath.
Your hand lifts to caress his cheek. Your thumb grazes the grooves of the plaster sticking to his skin there. Your eyes flit from his sparkling gaze to his parted lips. You lean down and kiss him gently — enough for him to feel you, but not enough to feel the ache on his burnt side.
And even as you’re kissing him, and Aegon’s kissing you back, you can’t help but wish that you were kissing him still. 
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Aemond sits alone at the head of an ornate dining table and glares at the ghost of you across the room. Past the flickering candles, and the goblets of wine, and the trays of your most favorite desserts — to where an empty chair waits for a body that’s never coming to fill it. 
It’s his fault, he knows. He’s the one who refused to summon you for supper, yet he still finds himself blaming you for your absence. As the blade of self-made solitude pierces his sternum, he imagines it’s your pretty hand twisting the dagger. The plates before him remain untouched and go slowly cold as the wound bleeds out. 
The thought of supping without you makes him too sick to eat. His empty stomach swirls with the waves of his grief.
Aemond knew that, were his brother to ever wake, he would be left with only the barest scraps of you. He thought he was used to picking at the flesh and bones of your affection like a vulture to decaying flesh, but he feels the lack of you most ardently now. To the point where he’s made a weapon of your leaving.
He sends you away most nights, when you part finally from Aegon’s bedside to attend to your wifely duties. It was easier to wave a dismissive hand while you undressed for him — to tell you that he had war plans to discuss with Ser Criston or whores at the brothel awaiting his arrival. The former was sometimes true, the latter almost never. Never ever, to be exact.
You’d re-tie the lace of your slip, covering the petaled skin you were baring for him, and muster a wavering smile to cover up your aching. And though Aemond wasn’t entirely fond of hurting you, there was a certain gratification in making you feel an ounce of the heartache he was drowning in.
But the cycle of woe continues on, and he finds himself floundering for you all over again. 
He spares one last glare at the empty seat reserved for his wife — who, like her love, would never truly be there — and rises abruptly from the table. The legs of his wooden chair scrape the cobbled floors. The harsh sound echoes through the empty throne room. 
“What shall we do with the food, my pri— Your Grace?”  a servant boy stammers when Aemond walks by.
“Feed it to the hounds,” the boy monotones.
Aemond just barely manages to keep his head above water long enough to find you. He storms to the west wing of the Red Keep and bursts through the double doors of the bedroom you and Aegon share. He feels like he’s been set aflame every time he passes the threshold. He figures he belongs here about as much as a demon at a Holy Sept.
He finds you, unsurprisingly, tending to the sleeping king at his bedside. You dip a thin cloth into a steaming bowl, soaking it in the aromatic medicinal bath, before smoothing it over his burns with a practiced touch. 
Aegon’s left side is not nearly as raw and raging as it was some weeks ago, perhaps because of your gentle hands. His skin is still marred, though — features gnarled and blurred and disfigured. Half of his hair has been singed off, along with his ear and most of his eye. He’s a monster on all accounts, but you tend to him with loving hands anyway.
Your head whips over your shoulder at the sudden intrusion. You find Aemond lingering at the doorway; fists balled at his sides, chest heaving with panted breaths. Your brows raise expectantly, and Aemond searches for something to say. 
“The table is set for supper,” he blurts.
“Alright,” you hum in a quiet voice. “I’ll join you in a moment.”
You turn away, and the thin fabric of your nightgown flows behind you. It’s made of a pale pink cotton, with long sheer sleeves, and a tie at the chest that reveals a sliver of your skin. 
You’re typically only so casually dressed with him. It’s almost like you’ve trained him to salivate at the sight, knowing you’d be taking it off for him under any other circumstance. His hunger for you builds despite himself.
“Will you?” he presses, feigning indifference, as he saunters into the room with his hands behind his back. “You’ve hardly left this room, I’ve heard.”
“Well, I heard that you’ve spent the entire day in council meetings,” you argue while wringing damp plaster between your fists. Hot water trickles back into the bowl, stirring now with golden petals and dandelion fluff. You glance back at him, this time with something mischievous twinkling in your eyes. “What would have me to do, hm? Wait for you well into the twilight hour until you decide you have enough time for me? With my legs spread for you like a common whore?”
“You used to,” Aemond quips as he stills at the foot of the bed.
You scoff and turn away again, laying the moist cloth over Aegon’s bare chest and smoothing it flat until it seals to his skin.  
“You’ve never been this gentle with me,” the boy observes, mostly light-hearted, though the words come out too deadpan to be as playful as he means them.
A smile hints at the corner of your mouth. “You never wanted me to be this gentle with you, Your Grace.”
The title falls from your mouth like sweetened venom. Aemond feels it sparkling in his veins as he rounds the bed to be nearer to you. 
“Hm. Maybe so,” he murmurs with a wide hand pressed to your lower back. You feel his fingers fist the delicate fabric of your nightgown as he whispers, “But His Grace has needs.”
“Well, His Grace has whores,” you spit back, chin tilted defiantly.
“Careful,” Aemond lilts with his lips pursed in a nearly undetectable smirk. “I’d start to think you were jealous.”
You only shrug in response, hoping your envy isn’t as obvious as it feels. “I have naught to be jealous of… Not when your cock tastes of my cunt—”
“Mm. Such vulgar words from such a pristine girl.”
Aemond ducks down like he intends to kiss you, but stops short with his nose pressed to the side of yours — willing you to make the first move. 
You smirk against his mouth, refusing to give him the satisfaction, as you grip his leather jacket in your fists. “If you think I’m pristine… Then you obviously haven’t been paying attention.”
The boy’s mouth parts to swallow you whole. You almost let him — until the bed behind you creaks with movement, and you jerk suddenly back from him. 
Aegon smacks his lips as he stirs from sleep. He shifts on the mattress, then grimaces at the harsh reminder of his current state. “Don’t stop on my account,” he mumbles, less raspy than before, but still gravelly in speech.
“We were just leaving,” Aemond insists as his long fingers curl around your wrist.
You try to snatch yourself out of his grip and fail. “The Prince Regent was just leaving,” you correct.
Aegon tries to smile. It feels like he is, anyway, though it looks more like a wince beneath his burns and bandages. “Perhaps you should both stay… I was growing quite fond of the show, actually.”
“I’m sure you were,” Aemond scoffs, peering down at the boy from the bridge of his nose. “But I’m afraid you’ll get nothing here.”
When he tugs you away from Aegon’s bedside, you have little choice but to follow him. He’s much too strong for you to fight — though you try, still, to pry his taut grip with your free hand.
“He’s lying, you know?” the king croaks from behind you. “About the whores.”
Aemond stops in his tracks at the doorframe. You stumble over your feet behind him. When neither of you says anything, Aegon continues. 
“I tried to take him to a brothel once. Some days after he was betrothed to you, I believe…” he trails off to take a ragged breath. “He nearly keeled over when he passed the threshold. He’s much more dutiful to you than he’d have you believe… Unfortunately.”
Your wide eyes flit from the bedridden boy to the one towering over you. “Is that true, husband?” you murmur.
Aemond falters for a moment. “The king is obviously half-cut. The Milk of the Poppy’s warped his mind, no doubt—”
“I am perfectly temperate, brother.”
“My sincerest apologies, Your Grace.”
“Well, when the Dove gives orders, I am not inclined to disobey,” Aegon quips and tries to smile, though the expression is only audible in his voice.
Aemond’s stoic eyes flit back to you. “Giving orders to the king now, are you?”
“Aye. I am,” you answer, trying to fight back a smirk and failing. “And his regent, perhaps. Though he is much less acquiescent than his brother.”
“Is that so?” Aemond hums with his chin tilted upward, amusement glittering in his otherwise hardened gaze.
Your smile sits lazy and lopsided on your mouth. You look once to Aegon, whose one-eyed stare is expectant and unwavering, and then back to your husband. “Haply,” you shrug with your chin to your shoulder, peering through your lashes with the whole universe in your eyes. 
“Kiss me,” you command.
The words fall over Aemond like stars. 
He cradles the back of your neck and licks into your mouth without warning. Your head tips back as he pries through your lips with his tongue. His chiseled nose smushes into the side of yours while he steals the breath from your lungs.
Aegon watches from afar and writhes pathetically on the mattress across the room. His chapped mouth parts in time with yours, tongue lolling in his mouth as he tries to remember what it felt like to kiss you. His hands curl into fists under the weight of his yearning — the ache in his healing left-hand goes unnoticed over his much louder desire for you.
“Closer,” he calls in a gravelly voice, then clears his throat when the word gets stuck there. “Come closer.”
Your lips part with an audible click. A string of saliva threatens to keep the two of you connected, glimmering faintly in the candlelight. A whine sounds in Aegon’s throat at the sight of it.
Aemond wipes his chin with the back of his hand, mouth rosy and shining with your spit. “Surely you aren’t so desperate, brother… You’ll be parading ‘round the brothels in no time, I’m sure.”
Aegon does not admit aloud that his intermittent pleasure house visits were hardly for his own urges. He enjoyed the smells more than anything, of primal pleasure and cheap wine — and the feeling of pride as he introduced new squires to the most skillful madames. He’s watched many boys become men through an opened curtain with a belly full of ale.
He corrects, instead, “Did the maesters not tell you?”
“Tell me what?”
“My cock was burnt like a sausage on a spit,” Aegon admits with a clenched jaw. “I can hardly piss without it trickling down my leg—”
“An unfortunate circumstance, indeed,” Aemond hums.
“A circumstance you ought to atone for,” Aegon sneers.
The calloused palm cradling your neck slips away as the youngest brother turns to face the eldest. Candlelight flickers over the sharpened edges of his face like hellfire. “I thought you recalled none of it,” he murmurs with a knowing squint in his lone eye.
“Perhaps my memory serves me now,” Aegon retorts, wincing as he sits further up on the pillows. It’s much easier now, without his leg tied and elevated, but the ache there makes every movement impossible. He talks through heaving pants when the breath leaves him suddenly. “Perhaps— Perhaps I am in need of something to ease my mind.”
Silence slips into the room like moonlight through the opened window. Your eyes flit back and forth between the two men, narrowed softly in confusion. The two of them seem to speak in riddles, in remnants of a conversation you weren’t there to witness.
“Mm. Perhaps,” Aemond concludes emotionlessly. “But I don’t believe it is up to me.”
His head turns slowly to you, and your heart lurches into your throat. Your hands shake with the sudden power placed within them. 
Fingers trembling, you reach wordlessly for the lace at your chest. You tug at the ends of it until the knot loosens entirely. The top of your gown slacks to reveal the peaks of your pillowy breasts. Aemond’s mouth parts with the want to kiss them as he migrates behind you to work at the tie along your back.
“Take it off,” Aegon tells you through heavy breaths. “All of it.”
You feel Aemond’s hands smooth under your untied nightgown, cold and calloused along your warm and supple skin. He urges the fabric off your body as you slip the sheer sleeves down your arms. 
The delicate cotton pools around your feet. The evening breeze brushes your bare body like satin. The unabashed leers from the silver-haired boys create pebbling goosebumps on your skin.
Aegon swallows through a dry throat. His trembling hands flex to pierce through the weight of his longing. “Come closer,” he commands. Though, when his voice breaks halfway through, it sounds more like a plea.
Your bare feet pad along the cobbles in slow and hesitant steps. You stop at the foot of the bed and try not to fidget too much as Aegon’s remaining eye rakes over your body. 
The sight of you before him —  your naked breasts begging to be kissed, your soft stomach waiting to be caressed, your plush thighs begging to be clutched — makes a sigh rattle in his chest.
“Closer.”
“How much closer can I get, Your Grace?” you ask him, giggling when Aemond presses his clothed body flush against your back. The tip of his nose traces the shell of your ear as he cradles your hips between calloused palms. His breath fans warm over your neck, and you fight back a shiver.
“Crawl,” Aegon answers as he shifts on the mattress, raising his chin like he means to beckon you forward. “Crawl to me.”
You feel Aemond’s thin lips curl into a smile as he mouths at your pulse. “And here I thought you were the one giving orders,” he quips against your skin.
“She is no stranger to my direction, brother. I assure you,” Aegon rasps. His gaze pauses its trek down your naked form and hardens when it meets your eyes again. “Crawl,” he repeats.
Your body seems to move on its own accord. You blink, and your palms are pressed suddenly to the silk blanket — knees digging into the downy mattress to push you closer to the bedridden king. 
Aegon’s unscarred hand cradles the back of your head when you’re finally in reach. You straddle his thighs, careful to avoid the healing bone in his left leg, as he urges you further into him. Your mouth parts for a kiss. A whimper sounds in your throat when his lips lock on your pulse point instead — feeling too unworthy to kiss something as pretty as you with such a sullied mouth. 
His lips are chapped, but his tongue is warm and smooth against your skin. The contrast between the two is dizzying. 
Aegon’s teeth graze your throat as his hand falls to your chest. He cups your breast in his palm, smoothing the pad of his thumb over your pebbled nipple. He knows how sensitive you are there — he’d always remember your body, even in death.
Your moan echoes through the silent room, as silky as the moonlight streaming in rays through the window. You feel the effects of his touch in a shiver down your spine — in a warm feeling that pools in the pit of your stomach.
Aemond only watches for a moment, motionless and observant. He can’t see your face from here, but he can see each of your reactions to Aegon’s subtle touches. Your cunt drools with neglect, begging to be touched and fluttering every time the boy pinches your taut nipples. 
Aegon ducks down for your chest just as the command to do so sits on Aemond’s tongue. The older boy mouths sloppily at your tits, slurping audibly at your plush skin and licking over the fleeting bites he scatters there. 
You cradle the back of his head and whimper at the feeling of his tongue. Your pussy weeps for more just as you do, leaking a glimmering honey that shines on your thighs when it catches the candlelight. 
Aemond’s mouth waters for a taste of you. His pale hands begin working at the buckles of his leather jacket, steady but unusually hasteful as he rushes to fuck you. 
Aegon catches sight of him and smirks into your breasts. He pulls off of you with an audible smack, licking his lips like he can still taste you on them. His cheeky smile is somewhat hidden in the burns on his left cheek, but you can hear it in his voice.
“That is very presumptuous of you, brother,” the boy rasps.
Finally freed from his jacket, Aemond shrugs off his undershirt and works at the buttons of his pants. “Well, someone has to fuck her,” he murmurs mindlessly before flashing a mischievous glare with his lone eye. “And I hear your cock was burnt like a sausage on a spit—”
“You’re doing it again,” you lilt in annoyance, only partially playful, as you glance at him over your shoulder. Your stomach swirls when you find Aemond already leering at you. You smile and arch your back, making an utter show of it. “I can hear you, you know?”
Aemond smirks and drops his breeches. The thick fabric falls heavily to the floor to reveal the expanse of his milky white legs and the half-hard cock hanging between them, glowing red at the tip with need. He wraps the stiffening limb in his fist and works it harder for you. 
“I’m glad for it,” the boy insists as he kneels on the bed behind you. The mattress creaks and dips under his weight. “It only means you can hear everything I intend to do to you—”
“Use your fingers on her first,” Aegon blurts, made impatient with desire and the lack of your attention. “Get her ready for it— It drives her mad.”
Words of protest turn to dust on your tongue when Aemond’s fingers migrate immediately to your weeping cunt. He runs his middle and ring finger between your velvet lips, coating them in your honey before sticking the former inside you. An airy sigh spills from your open mouth at the feeling. Aemond snarls when your pussy tightens around him, all but swallowing his finger. 
You accept a second one with ease — hardly noticing another when Aegon slips his right hand between your thighs. He massages your clit with the pads of his fingers, much softer in comparison to his brother’s. He rubs you there rapidly and with very little rhythm while Aemond fucks his fingers into you with languid strokes.
The variation between the two makes you keen.
“Well, I do believe she’s ready enough,” Aemond quips in a monotone as your honey runs down his wrist. “Feel her— She’s practically weeping for it.”
Aegon’s hand dips instantly, shoving his brother’s out of the way. He shifts on the mattress and grimaces softly at the strain on his bandaged side. The pain, however, goes largely unnoticed as he slips his fingers into you. A groan rumbles in his throat when your eager cunt takes both of his fingers with little effort. 
The feeling of your silky walls wrapped around him — the notion that he will never again feel you on his cock — makes him grieve. His marred features twist with something hard and soft, with grief and anger maybe, before he pulls out of you again.
“Fuck her,” Aegon commands like a true king, before inhaling a rattling breath. “Fuck her now— Make her scream.”
Aemond chuckles at his brother’s enthusiasm, of which he often has too much. He wraps his hand around his stiff cock, now ardently wet with you, and uses his sticky fingers to lubricate himself.
“As you wish, your grace,” he murmurs quietly to himself.
Your chin tilts to your shoulder to look back at him. You whimper when the head of his cock presses itself at your entrance — smooth and warm and leaking with precum. Aegon’s fingers grip suddenly at your jaw. The tips of them dig aggressively into the skin there as he forces you to look at him. Despite his hardened features, his eyes gleam with something more pleading.
“Say my name while he fucks you,” he commands, begs, through gritted teeth. “Pretend it’s my cock inside you.”
You nod rapidly into his hand. Your eyes remain locked with his while Aemond slips into your waiting pussy. Your mouth falls softly agape as he fills you. A moan spills from your lips when he buries himself to the hilt. Aegon’s bandaged head tilts back against the pillow, jaw clenched, like your pleasure is his own.
“Does that feel good?” the king asks.
You nod again into his hand, whimpering when Aemond pulls all the way out only to thrust completely back into you again. Your body jerks on top of Aegon’s like you’re riding him — only his cock is hardly more than mangled skin now, which buzzes faintly with a desire he’ll never be able to give you. 
Aemond curls a calloused hand around your shoulder to steady you while your hands fist at the pillow on either side of Aegon’s head.
“Tell me.”
Your lips open to make out the words, though only moans fall from them. It takes much more effort to speak than usual, with Aemond punching the breath from your lungs with his expert thrusts. “I— It feels so good, Aegon—” you manage through labored breaths just before a whimper sounds in your throat.
His hand leaves your face to trek down the length of your body. He finds your clit more swollen now — and more sensitive, it seems, when his touch makes you instantly squeal. Your eyes squeeze shut as your head tosses back, mouth parted in a silent moan while both boys work at the most sensitive parts of you. 
Your pussy flutters around Aemond’s cock. Honey seeps from your cunt as you grow impossibly tighter around him. He braces his hands on your hip and shoulder, squeezing you there just as you squeeze him. His silver hair falls around his face when he drops his head forward to rumble a deep groan. It sounds like thunder in his throat.
A foreign sense of pride swells in Aegon’s chest at the sounds of your entwining pleasures — which he feels as though he’s orchestrating, despite his misbegotten impotence.
“My Dove is so needy for it, isn’t she?” Aegon coos when your thighs start to tremble.
“You should feel her, brother,” Aemond says, though the words are choppy as they leave his mouth. “She’s so tight— I can barely move—”
Grief sparks in his chest at the bitter reminder that he will never again have you the way his brother has you now. His throat tightens with an emotion he forces himself to choke down. “What does she feel like?” he murmurs pitifully when he struggles to remember.
“Like velvet,” the younger boy answers, punctuated by the dull clapping of his hips meeting your ass. “Like honey. Like sin—” Aemond angles his hips to pierce you deeper. You whine when his thrusts reach an impossible depth.
“How poetic,” Aegon sneers.
“How shall I say it in your language, then, hm?” Aemond manages to tease despite his looming pleasure, which threatens now to strangle him. He tries to keep his face steady despite that as he glares at his brother with his remaining eye, never wavering in his assault on your throbbing pussy. “Her cunt’s milking me dry,” he spits. “I may just breed her yet.”
You’d scold him for speaking over you as if you weren’t there, but you’re much too far gone for that now. His thrusts are steady and measured and merciless. The bulbous head of his cock hits relentlessly at a spongy depth inside you until you have to remind yourself to breathe.
Despite Aegon’s largely bedridden state, he pleasures you with an expert hand just as he always has. His ruthless fingers press hard at your delicate clit until a scream wells in your throat. You grit your teeth to fight it back, but it leaves in a feeble cry anyway.
“Aegon!” you gasp.
“Aw, I know, sweet thing,” Aegon coos. “It’s far too much for you, isn’t it?”
You nod rapidly, with a pout pinching your pretty face. You grip the pillow with one trembling hand and bring the other to his unscarred cheek, cradling him gently there despite the aggressive way Aemond’s fucking you on top of him. 
Despite his burns and his bandages and his disfigured features, you look at him the way you always have — like you’ve loved him forever, like you’ve spent entire lifetimes studying his face. The softness in your gaze makes his chest warm like he might cry. 
“Do you love me, Dove?” Aegon murmurs.
You nod again, without an ounce of hesitation.
“Then prove it to me,” he whispers, fingers caging your swollen clit. “Make a mess on his cock for me.” 
Your orgasm rushes over your body like the waves of a Dornish sea. Like a riptide that pulls you under and under and under. You bury your face in Aegon’s neck while you tremble on top of him, forced to ride through each merciless rush of pleasure. 
“Good girl,” you hear Aegon praise with a laugh in your ear, though he sounds much further away than that. “Always so good for me, aren’t you, Dove?”
Aemond can feel every ruthless aftershock as it racks through your body. Your pussy flutters with each of them and leaks more honey that makes his cock glitter in the candlelight. It forces an orgasm from his body despite the heartache ripping through his chest. 
He watches you and Aegon share a moment of bone-crushing intimacy while he impales you with his cock. Even while you fuck another, even with the silent understanding that Aegon with never again have you this way, you’re able to share something much deeper than sex.
Despite Aemond’s distant worry that he’ll never understand you in the same way, his orgasm tears through his body. 
His hips stutter against your thighs as his cock jerks within your throbbing confines. He thrusts into you once, hard, and then stills against your hips, groaning with each load of cum your velvety cunt milks from him.  
Aemond slumps when his cock begins to soften. You rise from Aegon’s neck to sit upright, cupping his cheek in a steady palm while the boy holds your hips in both of his — one smooth and the other scarred. 
Aemond’s heaving chest twists with the dagger of self-loathing until you reach blindly for him, too. 
Your free hand cradles his marred cheek and urges him closer. He noses at your neck while your mouth grazes his temple — a moment of connection that feels somehow more intimate than his flesh melting with yours. 
The three of you bask silently in the honey-lit room, breathing harmoniously together, with candle-like souls that will forever set each other aflame.
Mutual Destruction.
746 notes · View notes
ghouldump · 5 months ago
Text
God Complex | Lestat x Reader x Louis
ෆ you want out, realizing your little family isn’t as perfect as you thought, but they would never let you slip away so easily.
i definitely went overboard 😅
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“Lestat, you don’t have to do this,” Louis stressed.
“She has to learn, it’s either this, or we are exposed,” Lestat said, shutting the coffin. Under the pebbles you laid, crying, begging for forgiveness. Despite your attempts to break free, the coffin wouldn’t budge.
“Louis, please, Lestat, I’m sorry,” you screamed, your voice falling on deaf ears, as he shut the door of the basement, leaving you alone at the bottom of the townhouse.
“Neither of you are to let her out, a few days will teach her a needed lesson,” he pointed at the two. Louis looked distressed, knowing his companion was right, despite his desire to argue. While Claudia frowned, saddened by your cries, but knew better than to go against her father’s words.
“I’m sorry,” you kept crying. If only you could take it back. This was your second time acting so careless, and you knew better than to think Lestat would let you do this a third.
From the moment Lestat turned you, you were a wildflower. He loved how animalistic you became, while Louis enjoyed how sweet you remained. Claudia was happy to finally have someone new in their lives, other than the two.
You were exceptional at hunting, and Lestat became lenient, oftentimes letting you wander. You’d find your meal, and quickly and efficiently discard the mess. However, when the arrogant salesman came into the bar, speaking to everyone as if they were beneath him, your tongue tingled at the sight.
The thought of him submitting and begging for mercy turned you on beyond comprehension. Biting your lip, you stood, approaching him, intentionally bumping his shoulder. His hand went to your waist, as he began to apologize, while his eyes not so discreetly roamed.
“Garret Anderson, darling,” he introduced, as you shook his hand.
“Hi,” you smiled, mischievously.
“Not him, choose someone else,” you heard Louis’s voice. Usually, you’d listen, but you couldn’t this time, not when the smell of his blood made you feel feral in the best way.
“Would you like to dance-
“Come with me,” you ignored him, grabbing his hand to pull him out of the establishment. He grinned, thinking he had won a prize when he was walking straight into the trap.
Pushing him into the dim alley, you slipped your tongue into his mouth, pressing your body against his own.
“Oh, I don’t think I got your name”
“You don’t worry about my name, sugar, just focus on my voice,” you told him, as he looked into your eyes.
“Ok,” he nodded, hypnotized.
“Y/n, Lestat doesn’t want you to choose him,” Claudia said, as you bare your teeth.
“It’s too late,” you spoke, biting his neck, drinking his life away.
“Please,” you heard him inaudible beg, his grip loosening from your arm, as his form began to weaken.
“What part of not him did you not understand?” Lestat asked, snappily, standing behind you, as you released the man, watching his corpse sink to the wet ground.
“Was I supposed to play with my food?” You pouted, the action usually worked, but this time he kept the harsh gaze.
“This man is related to Tom Anderson and the last person he has been seen with, was you,” he said angrily.
“I didn't know, and I always clean up after myself,” you defended.
“That isn’t the point, you get the order to choose another and you still chose to disobey, putting all of our lives at risk, again,” Lestat said, trying to keep his composure, feeling himself about to yell.
“We can talk about this when we get home, Claudia and I will clean up,” Louis said, hoping to de-escalate the situation.
However, after the body was burned, Lestat continued to yell, before deciding to bury you in the rock-filled coffin, as a punishment. 
You weren’t sure how long you were locked away, starving. It could have only been days, but on an empty stomach, it felt like weeks. You cried for too many hours, begging, trying to communicate with Louis and Claudia - but no one ever came. No one would come, you’d be left here to starve to death until Lestat was ready to release you.
You began to dream, imagining yourself on all kinds of adventures. Traveling to different countries, tasting the different people, none of which Lestat planned on doing soon. He made the rules and you all went along, occasionally finding compromise. Finally, after what felt like forever, the coffin was opened.
Louis worriedly pulled you out, Claudia dusting the rocks off of you. Lestat didn’t say a word, standing behind the two, watching as they tended to you. Slowly approaching you, he placed his hand under you jaw, making you look up.
“I hope you’ve learned your lesson,” he said, before making his way upstairs.
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“Y/n,” you jumped, snapping out of the trance as Louis opened the coffin, holding his hand out for you to grab.
“Sorry,” you smiled sheepishly, as he grinned, helping you out.
“It’s alright, why don’t you get dressed, and we’ll be waiting on you,” he winked, leaving you to change.
As you made your way down the stairs, you kept your eyes down, feeling his gaze.
Claudia was first to swing the door open, excitedly skipping out of the house - Louis not too far behind. Gulping, you went to follow him, when Lestat grabbed your waist, stopping you.
“You look nice, ma chèrie,” he complimented.
“Thank you,” you smiled, rushing to join Louis.
You didn’t wander, staying close with the group, choosing the easiest target. You’d always preferred your meal flamboyant, the loudest in the room always had the sweetest blood. However, you were too afraid to upset Lestat, ending up in the cramped coffin again.
Cleaning your mouth, you sat on one of the many benches in the park. You were still hungry, starving actually. The pathetic excuse of a human was no where near filling. As Lestat and Louis approached, their meals close behind like lambs being led to the slaughter, you got up.
Entering the house, you were about to follow Claudia upstairs, when Lestat grabbed your hand, leading you back down.
“I want you to be more vigilant about prey, not neglect and starve yourself, come, we have a plus one,” he told you, before announcing to the trio of men you’d be joining them.
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“Do you think there is more to life than New Orleans?” You asked your coworker, Carol.
“I ain’t got time to think about that Y/n, I’m 24 and already a widow with an infant,” she huffed, wiping the table.
Opening your eyes you stared up at the coffin, trying to think back. You didn’t remember too much about your mortal life, not even your family. You worked at a bar when you met Louis and Lestat, both incredibly charming. You were interesting to them, this wasn’t anything new for Lestat, he had no problem admiring multiple people. Louis on the other hand, was surprised by his interest. You were easy on the eyes with the kindest soul, lighting up the room with your presence.
You ended up getting pneumonia and despite taking the needed medication, you began to succumb. On the brink of death, you saw him, was he a god? angel of death? You didn’t know, tiredly watching as the two men exchanged words of agreement, before he lifted you, biting your neck.
You remembered the agony, throwing up as your body rejected your soul, killing itself. Louis carried you, while Lestat led the way, and the rest of your memory was gone.
Opening your coffin, you looked around the room, each side of you was a black coffin, empty. Noticing the small note on Lestat’s as you climbed out.
‘Louis and I have business to attend to this evening, I trust you will hunt with Claudia, ma chèrie’ - L
Sitting the letter down, you walked down the stairs. Knowing Claudia, she had already left. Slipping on your shoes you began to walk the streets. The memories replayed in the back of your mind, as your feet aimlessly moved. Recognizing your surroundings, you slowed down, staring into the bar you’d plucked the Anderson relative from.
Suddenly, someone bumped your shoulder, catching your attention. An older woman, holding shopping bags.
“Oh my, I’m so sorry-Y/n?” You were stuck like a dear caught in headlights.
“God has brought my baby home, don’t just stand there and give your mama a hug,” she sat the bags down, as you cautiously approached, letting her tightly wrap her arms around you.
You were thankful for the times you practiced restraint and self control. It had been nearly three years of being a vampire, stuck at 26 and you grew better and better at controlling your urges around mortals, despite the occasional slip ups.
“Mama?”
“Oh baby, I knew you’d come back eventually, how was New York?” She asked, wiping the tears from her eyes.
“New York?” You questioned, confused.
“Why don’t you come home, just for tonight?” She asked, hopeful. Slowly you nodded, letting her lead you to her car, handing the bags to her driver, you sat in the back seat next to her. Looking around, you hoped your surroundings would seem familiar but you had no clue where you were headed. After nearly fifteen minutes of driving, and your mother gushing about how much you were missed, the car began to slow down.
As the large house came into view, you frowned, unable to remember living there. The driver parked, and the front door opened.
“Did you get-Y/n? Y/n is back,” the younger boy who was exiting the house stopped, jumping for joy, screaming inside. A few more people came out, a familiar face catching your attention.
“Y/n,” the woman screamed, running to you, colliding into you, as she wrapped her arms around your waist.
“Carol, can you make sure Y/n is made comfortable,” your mother asked.
“Of course, mama,” she nodded, grabbing your hands, leading you into the house.
“What’s with your eyes?”
“What do you mean?”
“Nothing,” she let it go, as you stopped near the stairs, seeing all of the portraits. Family portraits. You stood amongst them, in the photos, even a painted portrait of yourself, along with your siblings.
“Daddy is going to be very happy to see you,” she smiled, pulling you up the stairs to a bedroom.
“Where is he?” You asked, eyeing the room before you sat next to her on the bed.
“At the sugar mill, duh, you know he’s a workaholic,” she laughed, before sitting up.
“So how have you been? The last time I saw you, you were going on and on about that De Pointe Du Lac,” she smirked, biting her lip.
“I’m fine, Louis is fine,” you nodded.
“My god, you married him? I hear he has a popular business in the quarter-
“No, we have a…companionship, if that makes sense,” you mumbled, as she raised her eyebrows.
“Oh? That’s nice-
“Daddy’s home,” the younger boy burst into the room, his eyes focused on you.
Standing up, you followed Carol from the room, down the stairs. Seeing the men and women standing downstairs, you stared plainly. These were your siblings and yet you couldn’t remember or feel a thing.
“It’s good to see you,” the man, your brother, smiled, pulling you into a side hug before you followed them into the dining room.
Your father sat already, at the head of the table. Turning to face you, he stood up, you could hear his heart pounding, trembling. Slowly approaching you, you spoke up.
“Daddy,” you tried to sound as normal as possible, when he slung his arms around you. He began to cry, while you listened in on his thoughts. You were his favorite.
“You two come sit, stop crying before I start too,” your mother laughed, as your father pulled away in agreement.
“So how was New York?”
“Yeah and why didn’t you say goodbye, like you send a letter and disappear for three years,” your younger sister interrupted.
“Deloris, stop it, I’m sure Y/n wanted to stop by but couldn’t,” your mother interjected.
“I-New York was fine, very beautiful,” you said, accepting one of the many bowls of food being passed along. Taking a small piece of meat, you sat it on your nearly empty plate.
“You came just in time for Joseph’s engagement, he’s met a fine young lady from Gretna, Sarah, she’ll be here in a few days,” your mother pointed at your brother.
“Finally, he’s nearly 30 and we never thought he’d get married,” your younger brother said, making everyone laugh.
“Congratulations,” you told Joseph.
“Thank you, and have you married, or are you with someone?”
“I have companions,” you smiled, nervously.
“Multiple?” Your father asked, stunned.
“One of them is Louis,” Carol clapped.
“The De Point Du Lac? I hear he lives with that French man-
“Lestat De Lioncourt, god to be under him for a night”
“Deloris, watch your mouth”
“Sorry”
“You managed to stay in contact with him, but couldn’t reach out to your family?” Your father spoke, a saddened expression.
“It’s complicated,” you mumbled.
“You don’t think it’s a bit…scandalous to have two lovers, who is the other?” your mother asked.
“Lestat,” you said, clearing your throat, bracing yourself as nearly everyone gasped.
“Lucky,” Deloris snickered.
‘Y/n, where are you?’ You heard Clauia’s voice, but you didn’t respond.
“Y/n, please tell me you're joking,” your father shook his head.
“I don’t think this is a laughing matter,” you said, straightening your posture.
‘Y/n, where are you at?’ Louis asked, making you clinch your jaw.
“You kept in contact with those peculiar men, but it never crossed your mind to come home,” he slightly raised his voice.
“I said it was complicated,” you screamed over him, stabbing the fork into the meat, breaking the plate, before standing up, going to storm out of the house.
“Y/n, wait,” your mother chased you, stopping you before you could leave.
“I’m sorry I came here,” you apologized.
“No no, everyone is handling you being home differently, stay, you can go up to your room, here, I have something for you,” she reached for your cold hand, her warm thumb brushing over your veins. Leading you upstairs in the room, she went to the nightstand, pulled out a diary, handing it to you.
“I kept it, in case you ever came home, and I made sure no one read it,” she smiled sadly, kissing your forehead before she turned to leave.
‘Ma chèrie, enough of this, come home’ Lestat said. You knew they were probably worried, for him to also use his powers to reach out to you.
‘I won’t be home tonight,’ you spoke, sending the message.
“Did you say something, honey?” Your mother stopped, turning to face you.
“No, ma’am,” you shook your head, watching as she exited the room.
Opening the book, your fingers traced down the words, the minor annotations, and little drawings on the side. You could still hear your vampire family faintly in your head when the room door opened.
“Hey, Daddy is sorry, he’s too ashamed of how he acted to face you right now, but I’m just letting you know, that Joseph, Antony, and Loretta left,” Carol spoke.
“Ok,” you chuckled.
“Also, I apologize in advance for the noise, Frankie is coming home soon and he is still a handful,” she laughed.
“Frankie?”
“Yes and he is going to be so excited to see his favorite Aunt,” she said, before shutting the door.
Closing the curtain, grabbing a pillow, and climbing under the bed, you read the diary. Entry to entry, you consumed the thoughts of your former self, your heart growing more confused as you began to remember. By the time you finished, Claudia and Louis became silent while the sun was peeking into the room.
Slamming the book shut, your mind ran wild, questioning everything you thought you’d known. Your nails digging into the floor. Feeling the bloody tear slip down your eye, you quickly wiped it, as a you heard a soft knock.
“Y/n? Y/n?” Your mother called out, a bit of panic in her voice.
“I’m under here,” you called out, waving from under the bed.
Lifting her dress, she moved to the floor, her eyes widening seeing you.
“What are you doing under here, honey?” She asked.
“I…I recently was diagnosed with a disease, my skin doesn’t react well in the sun anymore, burning, irritation, the doctor says I should avoid it altogether,” you said, almost feeling guilty for lying, hearing how much it saddened her thoughts.
“I see, give me a few hours and I’ll make sure things are more comfortable around here, you try to get some sleep, love you”
“I love you too,” you said, watching as she left the room.
‘Y/n, please tell me you are okay, we can’t sleep’ you heard Louis’s voice.
‘I am fine’
‘Where are you?’
‘That is none of any of your concerns’
‘Don’t be like that, what's the matter-
You shut your eyes, blocking out Louis’ voice, taking deep breaths, you thought about the words from the diary, as the sleep passed over you.
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‘Mama and daddy have been arguing as of lately. I’m 25 with no boyfriend or engagement, still living with them. Daddy doesn’t see a problem with it, I have more time to find the perfect husband he argues, while Mama thinks I’m not even looking. I haven’t been, but that’s because as special as New Orleans is, no one seems special enough to catch my attention. Since the issue has come up, I’ve found myself with Carol more. She is trying to find a new husband, a new father for Frankie, since his dad died in the Navy’
“All of the bachelors come here, you just might find yourself a treat,” Carol giggled, as the two of you sat at the table. The fancy restaurant in the French Quarter wasn’t too interesting to you. You were already wealthy, and guaranteed quite the inheritance, while all of the women stood around, almost looking as if they were waiting on their lottery ticket.
“Do you ever wonder if there is more to life, than New Orleans?” You asked her boredly, as she made eye contact with the banker, waving at him.
“I ain’t got time to think about that Y/n, I’m 24 and already a widow with an infant,” she told you, standing, before walking to the man, sure to sway her hips, reeking of seduction.
Now alone, you sipped your wine, leaning back in your seat. The few men who looked your way eventually backed away, as you kept a scowl on your face.
“If you keep your face like that, it might get stuck,” you heard, making you turn to face the crèole man.
“If only I could see the appeal of this restaurant, then I wouldn’t frown,” you told him, as he sat down.
“I agree, everything is so tasteless and looks so-
“Cheap,” you and the blonde-haired man said at the same time, making you smile.
“I’m Y/n,” you held out your hand.
“Louis de Pointe du Lac,” he accepted your hand, his thumb brushing against your knuckles.
“And you, do you have a name?”
“Lestat De Lioncourt,” he said, taking your hand from Louis, kissing your knuckles.
“Would you like to get out of here?” Louis started.
“Sorry boys, I hope you didn’t think I was that easy,” you pouted, laughing as Carol approached.
“You ready to go?” You asked, seeing the look of disappointment on her face.
“Yeah,” she said, crossing her arms.
“It was wonderful to meet you both, goodbye”, you told them, standing up, and walking with Carol back to the car. Looking back, your eyes met theirs once more before you were on your way.
‘Lestat and Louis, there had been plenty of rumors that the two were lovers, even I was sure they were. However, they continued to reach out, inviting me to spend time with them. Carol’s friend, Lucy, thinks they might be competing to win my hand in marriage, but I think it’s far from that.’
“Mr. De Lioncourt hasn’t taken his eyes off of you all night,” Lucy bumped your shoulder, as you stood amongst the women. You were trying to not be “shameless” keeping your contact with Lestat and Louis to a minimum. However, their eyes had been glued on you from the moment you entered the party, and they weren’t even hiding it.
“Don’t flatter yourself,” one of the women rolled her eyes, perking up, as they approached.
“Ma chèrie, you never responded to our letter,” Lestat told you, as you stared at the two of them surprised but confused.
“With your flowers,” Louis said, as you gasped.
“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t even notice a note with them, they are in my room, I’ll look when I’m home”
“Please do, we’re dying to know your response,” he told you, slinging his arm around Louis as they walked away. All of the women frowning in jealousy, while Carol laughed at them.
‘They are together, Lestat and Louis are together, but they like the idea of sharing? After a night of passion, I think it’s best that I stay away from the fabulously handsome men. I could never explain what happened to anyone without being judged, and so I will keep it to myself. They have been trying to reach out, but I am throwing every letter away. I hope they can understand.’
“I’m assuming you’re not a party girl?” Louis asked you, making you jump, swiftly turning around.
“This kind of party isn’t my thing, all of these people, hoping to get on my father’s good side, it's pathetic,” you crossed your arms, as he approached.
“How did you find where I was?” You asked him, tilting your head. You were hidden in your mother’s miniature hedge maze, sure no one would find you.
“I followed your scent, you always smell nice,” he grinned, while you rocked back and forth on your heels.
“You shouldn’t have followed me, what if I was a monster? luring you away from everyone,” you smirked at him.
“Trust me, you wouldn’t be the monster”
“Why do you think that?” You squinted at him, making him laugh.
“You’re too cute, too precious, you should be more careful, you could’ve been being followed by a big bad wolf,” he taunted.
“I can defend myself perfectly fine”
“Is that right?”
“Of course,” you smiled, watching as he leaned forward, his lips pressing against your own. Wrapping his arm around your waist, you moaned, before he pulled away.
Gasping, you noticed Lestat standing only feet away. Taking his usual confident strides, he stopped in front of Louis, the two sharing a passionate kiss. As the kiss broke off, he walked around to you, his hand softly going to the back of your neck, before he pulled you into a kiss.
“Be our companion…”
“Our’s alone…”
“Ok,” you agreed, not understanding at the time, the situation you'd put yourself in.
Standing in front and behind you, they took turns, kissing from your neck to mouth, slowly removing the articles of clothing. By the time you were finished, they laid in the grass, smiling, praising you, while you hurriedly dressed.
“I have to go,” you told them, running away, your hand going to your neck, where a bite mark resided.
‘My intuition was wrong about the two, Lestat and Louis are dangerous. Lestat seemed possessive, he didn’t like the idea of me entertaining another man besides him or Louis. But Louis, he seemed convinced I was perfect with the two of them, they both just seemed delusional. I recently caught the pneumonia virus and I’m trying to heal, and get over the fact that I was sick for my birthday but their constant sending of gifts isn’t making me feel any better.’
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“Y/n, honey,” your mother called out, making you open your eyes.
“Yes?”
“It is safe to come out,” she said, as you slowly made your way out, noticing the windows covered by a board.
Leading you down the stairs, you felt uncomfortable seeing your siblings stare at you like an animal in zoo.
“Mama told us about your skin condition, I’m sorry, I-we can have the engagement at night,” Joseph offered.
“I couldn’t do that to you-
“It would be a pleasure, I want you there, and Sarah won’t mind, she’ll be here tomorrow”
“Then I’d love that,” you smiled, nodding.
“Wonderful, I have something you can wear,” your mother clapped.
“I was hoping I could talk to you, about something,” you told your mother, as she sat on the sofa.
“Okay, what’s on your mind?”
“Do you remember when I was sick, with the pneumonia?”
“Yes”
“When I was staying in the hospital-
“Hospital? You didn’t stay in a hospital, you were in your room. We were so worried, when you first caught it, but your body fought hard, you were better in no time,” she said, her hand on her heart.
“How long was I here before I left, for New York? Reading the diary has my brain a little foggy,” you told her.
“Only a few days after, I believe, before you left your letter,” she said, looking away at the memory.
“I’m sorry,” you apologized, trying to remember what happened. The fuzzy memory slightly coming back.
“It’s okay, honey, you’re here now,” she waved.
Sitting up in bed, pillows propped up behind you, you listened to the vinyl jazz music. Playing low in the room you hummed lightly. Everyone had left the previous day, going to see relatives, but you were still too sick to go. Although you were already feeling better, no longer bed-bound with a nasty fever. Hearing the sound of the front door opening, your ears perked up, as you climbed out of the bed. Stopping the music, you slowly tiptoed out of the room, stopping at the top of the stairs
“Ma chèrie, it isn’t nice to ignore people who care about you,” Lestat said from the bottom of the stairs.
Shaking your head, you went to run, bumping into Louis. Who also, didn’t look too happy, backing down the stairs, you froze, seeing Lestat slowly walk up to you. You were trapped, dropping to your knees, you shielded yourself.
“Please,” you covered your face, gasping in confusion as you were lifted, carefully brought to the sofa in the living room.
“You haven’t seen any of our letters?” Louis asked angrily before Lestat spoke.
“You ignored us out of society-inflicted shame,” Lestat started.
“No, it was nothing more than casual sex,” you said before he squished your cheeks together.
“If you weren’t so afraid of being judged by society, would you continue to deny yourself the pleasures you deserve?” Lestat asked, sitting next to you.
“One of you bit me, I don’t think I want either of you,” you told him as he chuckled before you noticed his abnormally sharp teeth. Fangs.
“She doesn't want us, hear that Louis, we’re being rejected by our companion,” Lestat laughed loudly, as Louis stared at you as if you had two heads.
Suddenly, the front door opened, and your parents and your younger siblings entered the house. Doing a double take, your father frowned.
“What's going on in here?”
“Nothing Daddy, we're just talking,” you stood up, moving in between him and the two peculiar men. Looking at them, you noticed the fangs in Louis's mouth.
“I don't think so, you two boys need to leave my house,” he said, the look on their faces showed they were highly offended at the choice of words.
“I am no boy, I am much older than you…” Lestat stood up.
“Don't hurt them,” you told them, your eyes going from Louis to Lestat.
“Perhaps we can get to an agreement, they are spared, in exchange for your companionship,” Lestat offered. You searched for his face, trying to see if he was serious, while he stood, waiting on your response.
“Fine,” you sighed, watching as Louis approached your family, putting them into a trance.
“You came home and went straight to bed, Y/n was feeling better and decided to spend time with some friends tonight-
“You should grab your things, ma chérie, and don't worry, that shame and fear instilled into you will be no more in a short while,” he told you, ushering you to go upstairs, while Louis made up a story to your family.
By the time you finished packing, they were gone, only Louis and Lestat waiting for you at the bottom of the stairs. Not saying a word, you followed them to the car, trying to let the realization sink in, but it still all seemed surreal.
Entering their home you nervously followed them, into the bedroom.
“You can meet Claudia later,” Louis said, as they stared at you.
“Your daughter?”
“Our daughter,” he corrected you, but nodded.
“Ok”
“Y/n, the love that we’ve grown for you, it’s inhumanly, meant to be shared for an eternity, we can give you that,” Louis told you.
“You’re scared, I can make sure you don’t feel any pain, I can give you a piece of everlasting life. None of the things you have in this life hold any value to you, but I can give you something you will cherish,” Lestat told you.
“Choose us and we’ll choose you for the rest of eternity,” Louis said, before you hesitatingly nodded.
“You won’t be in pain for long,” Lestat told you, before he pulled you close, biting into your neck. Falling limb in his arms, he laid you on the bed, cutting his wrist, feeding his blood to you.
Shortly after, your body felt like it was on fire, your vision blurry. The two men stood over you, talking, Louis asking for a favor and Lestat debating on if he wanted to give in.
“Do it, before it’s too late, please,” he said, before Lestat looked at him, nodding, and facing you.
“Look at me, ma chèrie, you used to be a waitress at a bar…we were frequent customers when you met us….” As Lestat told you the fabricated story, he made sure to completely conceal your memory of your mortal life, as Louis requested.
As the memory came to mind your hands went to your eyes, trying to stop the bloody tears from leaking. The memory that changed the way that you viewed your maker and companions.
“Are you alright dear?” your mother asked, worried.
“I'm fine, mama, just happy to be home,” you told her, making her smile.
“Awe, honey, I'm glad that you are home, we all are,” she gushed, pulling you into a firm hug, before continuing with her conversation with your sibling.
‘Y/n’ Louis called out to you.
“Excuse me,” you said, getting up, going to the bathroom.
‘Leave me alone, please’ you told him.
‘Where is this coming from?’
‘I just need this time away, it’s just me time’ you told him, staring at your reflection.
‘Y/n, are you coming home?’ You heard Claudia.
‘Eventually’
‘Alright, love you’
‘Love you too’ you told her, before leaving the bathroom.
“Y/n, I just wanted to apologize for my outburst last night. What you do in your private life is your business, and I’m happy you’re home,” your father said, nervously, as you came back into the living room. Smiling, you didn’t say anything, approaching him, pulling him into a hug.
As night fell, everyone turning in for bed, you went to the backyard, thankful to find a few rodents to feed on. With your hunger satisfied, you went to your room. Sitting at the desk, you ripping a piece of paper from the diary, grabbing an envelope from the drawer.
‘I don’t think this companionship will work out anymore. Lie after lie, neither of you have been honest or truthful with me. I thought relationships were built and thrived on trust. Not ours, a big lie to feed both of your delusional obsessions. Stay away from me. I will be leaving New Orleans soon, probably headed back to New York’ you wrote, placing a stamp on the envelope.
“Hey,” you called out, as you went outside stopping the teenage boy on his bike.
“Bring this to Lestat De Lioncourt, his address is 1132 Royal Street,” you hypnotized the boy.
“But that’s all the way in the French Quarter,” he said in a monotone voice.
“I know, you will go right before the sun rises and it is okay because you were paid to do this,” you told him, watching as he smiled.
“You’re right,” he nodded, accepting the letter, before taking the money in his other hand, stuffing it into his pocket.
“Go on now, it’s getting late,” you told him, as he nodded, riding home to his house as you went inside.
“Y/n, you okay, darling?” Your father stood at the top of the stares.
“I’m ok, daddy,” you smiled, going upstairs to your bedroom.
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Just as the sun began to rise, the young boy peddled his bike, careful to stay out of the way of any cars. For a second he wished his dad could have driven him, the 30 minutes bike ride would have been much shorter in a car.
Finally, he arrived, panting, he approached the townhouse. Opening the gate, he approached the door. Knocking softly, before speaking.
“Mail for Lestat De Lioncourt,” he said, pushing the letter through the mail slot, before he left to peddle home.
Still wide awake, Lestat stood from his piano, approaching the door, stopping. He watched at the young hand slipped in, the letter floating to the floor, before the sound of the footsteps became distant.
Reading the letter, he felt a series of emotions, sadness, rage, disappointment.
“Louis,” he called out, his companion jogged down the stairs in confusion.
“Yeah?”
“Y/n remembers,” he gulped, as the two looked at each other.
“Looks like we’ll have to make a stop tonight,” Louis said, before going back to his coffin.
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“You’re just as beautiful as Joseph said you were,” you gushed to Sarah. The house was filled with guests, the sun had set not too long ago, and the night was still young.
“Oh my, thank you, he talked about you all the time, I never thought I’d meet you,” she said.
“Y/n, come here,” Carol called from the kitchen, before you excused yourself, joining her.
“What?”
“Mr. Alexandre is asking to see you,” she lightly pushed you in the direction of the living room.
“Who?”
“He’s one of Daddy’s associates, he’s young, rich, and handsome,” she said.
“And why don’t you talk to him?”
“He wants to speak with you and I’d prefer his brother, I hear he’s a widower,” she whispered, as you turned, walking towards where the man stood, amongst a few other businessmen.
“Miss Y/n,” the man called out, stepping forward.
“Mr. Alexandre,” you said, accepting his hand.
“If I could have a moment with you…”
“You may,” you said, walking into the hallway with him, near the stairs. You could feel his colleagues staring at the two of you.
“What is it?”
“I was hoping I could take you out for dinner, perhaps the steamboat, there is a nice band that plays-
“I am sorry, but no thank you,” you shook your head, about to leave, but he gripped your forearm.
“A little birdy told me that you have a thing going on with the European and crèole man in the quarter, I thought they were homo-
“Mr. Alexandre, my personal business is none of your concern”
“Then to have that little girl with them, like she’s their daughter, it’s twisted. You don’t need to get involved with them, tarnishing your reputation,” he said, making you think back to the society-inflicted shame Lestat spoke about.
“Do not speak about my reputation or any of them,” you shoved him, watching as he collided into the wall. A few people gasped, coming to see what was the commotion.
“Y/n, what happened?” Your father asked as the front door opened.
Along with a gust of wind Lestat, Louis, and Claudia all walked in, heads turning as everyone murmured about them. All of the eyes were on them and they never looked their way, solely focused on you.
“Y/n, why haven’t you come home?” Claudia ran to you, pulling you into a hug. You could feel how tense she felt, you frowned at the thought of her being upset.
“I’m sorry,” you told her, closing your eyes and taking in her usually sweet scent.
“Y/n,” your mother called out, now standing next to your father, a confused expression in place.
Before you could say anything, Lestat turned her way, gasping, you stepped up, when he turned facing you. Immediately you stopped, your eyes going down, while he moved closer.
“Madame,” he held out his hand, accepting hers, before placing a soft kiss on it.
“Get away from my wife,” your father said, taking her hand back.
“So you was gonna leave home?” Louis asked you, taking off his glasses.
“You lied to me, both of you did,” you told him.
“Louis, what is she talking about?”
“Nothing, go wait outside Claudia”
“Louis-
“It’s okay, go wait outside,” you told her, watching as she walked away, bumping the shoulder of a few guests, scaring them.
“You…both of you, did this to me, and for what? to satisfy your fantasies-
“To save you, you don’t belong with these people, their rules and principles, your nature goes against all of it. You could have never been happy with the way they wanted you to become,” Lestat told you.
“Y/n, it’s not safe to be around any of them, how long do you think you’ll be able to resist your urges, it’s best to leave them where they’re at,” Louis told you.
“Is this the brainwash they both feed you, two queer men trying to destroy and isolate everything you’ve known. I wouldn’t burden you with such ideologies,” Mr. Alexandre said, standing up, limping off the pain.
“And what are those ideologies, you speak of?” The tension thickened in the room as Lestat was in front of him within a flash.
“I-I-“ he began to stutter.
“These ideologies include being unapologetic even if it goes against society, not putting limitations on yourself, and redefining what family is. None of these things you know anything of because you think Y/n is as brainless as the rest of these women,” Lestat said before roughly grabbing his jaw.
“You could learn a thing or two before you let your mouth run so loosely,” he said, shoving him, watching as he collided with the wall, breaking through the wallpaper.
“Now you-
Lestat raised his hand, freezing everyone in the room, as your father began to yell.
“Your memory was wiped away, but everything has been real. Our love, Claudia’s love, nothing was forced. These people have caused you nothing but anxiety and shame, but if you want to throw us away, for them, I won’t stop you,” Lestat screamed, storming away, as the bloody tear slipped from his eyes.
“I thought I could balance both lives, it isn’t possible,” Louis told you, as you kept your head down.
“Is it possible to take away their memory, I won’t kill them, if they could just go on with their lives like before I was here,” you asked, while he immediately nodded.
Lestat had been right about so many things, how different you were, the restrictions you felt in your previous life. You weren’t ready to be on your own, you still needed your family. Perhaps it was better for you to not have been aware of the truth, to begin with.
“That can be arranged,” he said, motioning for you to go outside with Claudia. Stopping in front of your mother, you kissed her cheek, before leaving the house.
Getting into the backseat of the car with Claudia, she intertwined her fingers with your own. Lestat didn’t say a word to you, walking back into the house, as everyone unfroze.
After nearly 15 long minutes, the two left the house. You could see the party continuing, Carol could be seen with a small boy in her arms, accepting him from an older woman. The entire ride home was painfully quiet. The faint music from the locals could be heard as the house came more into view.
Claudia went to her room, while you meekly followed the two to your shared room. Stepping out of their clothing, they were preparing for rest, when you stopped.
“Lestat, I-please make me forget again,” you asked, making them look at each other, before staring at you.
“After all of this-
Moving to your knees, you crawled to him, prepared to beg to him, as if he was your god. Raising his eyebrow, even he looked surprised by your actions.
“Please make me forget, and we can go back to how we were,” you told him. Reaching for his hand, your head laid upon it, begging for your wish to be granted.
“Stand up, ma chèrie”
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“How was the hunt?” Louis asked as you and Claudia both entered the house.
“Wonderful,” you laughed, plopping next to him. Lestat sat at his piano, idly pressing the keys that still managed to sound effortless.
“What are you doing?” You asked Louis, leaning your head on his shoulder.
“Catching up on the paper, gorgeous,” he smiled, flipping the newspaper.
Your eyes widened at the image of the article, L/n Sugar Mill family home is burned down, leaving no survivors after an extravagant engagement party.
“Wow, and that was such a nice house,” you said, pointing out the picture, before picking up a nearby book.
“It was,” Louis agreed lowly, the trio briefly making eye contact.
With your memory wiped once again, the last thing any of them wanted was another situation that could cause you to want to break away from them. No one could ever come close to loving you like the three and they made sure there was no would who would awaken your memories, tearing you away from your little family.
this may or may not be deleted later …
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dilfguzzler · 1 year ago
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thinking about dom!husband!price coming home to you, his pretty little housewife with the lads after a successful mission. they’re riding a high and always appreciate your dinner and hosting when they get home.
john, however, has different plans for you tonight. he’s going to let his men use you as they wish. obviously you’ve discussed this before and you’re 100% up for it but you always thought it was more a hypothetical, unsure if john would ever actually go through with asking them
of course the boys are up for it. yes you’re their captains wife but damn if they hadn’t had their hands down their pants thinking of you a few times.
it starts in the living room, johnny and gaz getting a feel of you at long last while simon stands ominously to the side and john watches on.
you all move into your bedroom, john taking a seat in the armchair in the corner while you beckon simon over. you and him take your time making out and getting acquainted while johnny and gaz get undressed and feel you up
once they’ve all warmed up and gotten comfortable, they do not go easy on you. at one point you’re stuffed full of john and simon at the same time, one in your ass the other in your cunt. johnny is off to the side catching his breath after cumming down your throat while gaz takes his place in your mouth. you’re chest to chest with your husband while his right hand man is balls deep in your ass. and he couldn’t be more proud of you. you’ve never been so beautiful despite being so wrecked.
once the night fizzles out, you have at least 10 loads of cum in your cunt, ass and stomach. your body is scorching hot and you can barely moved from being so fucked out.
you cling to john as your lifeline, your only connection to the real world as he murmurs how proud he is of you for taking his boys, how beautiful you look. you never want to let go.
you vaguely register someone bringing you some water, putting the glass to your lips while john helps you tip your head back. you can hear the boys getting dressed and ready to leave, saying some words that are far beyond your comprehension to their captain.
john moves you and drops you onto your back on the bed, you flinching at the coldness left from the mix of fluids on the sheets. “i’ll be right back, love. just going to run you a bath”
after a quick bath while john changes the sheets, you’re cuddled up where you belong. tight and safe in his arms. the only man you would ever belong to fully. not a doubt in your mind that this is where you’ll be for the rest of your life.
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gojosatorubrainrot · 5 months ago
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The only real thing in here is you and me
•Summary: you are having a nightmare and Satoru is there to reassure you as the good and caring boyfriend he is
•Feat: Satoru Gojo x Reader
•Content: fluff, hurt/comfort, protective Satoru, insecure reader, Satoru being the perfect boyfriend
•Author's note: since I'm person who usually has nightmares and wakes up in the middle of the night scared and needs to be hugged, I decided to write this if some of you feel identified 🥹
•If you want to get added to my taglist, let me know in comments
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Alone
That is how you are feeling at this moment. All your beloved relatives left you to rest in peace in the other side. But that wasn't the reason why you feel that way. You assumed that day would come so you were kinda prepare to say goodbye to them.
You feel alone because of him.
Because you had never thought that among all the people, he would let you at your mercy in this hard path called life.
It's worse than being all alone because of his eventual departure; he left you because he was tired of all of your problems: your complicated relationship you had with your parents before they passed away; your anxiety issues, low self streem and the bad conception you had of your own body; you never loved what you looked like in front of the mirror.
He was patient, comprehensive and caring everytime you came up with any of the topics mentioned before.
But he got tired; tired of each quarrel about how stubborn you were, how you didn't believe all those compliments he gave you, how beautiful you were to his eyes: you believed he was lying like everyone else did during your life.
You always thought he was like them; saying those beautiful words only to make you feel good, cared... loved, so you wouldn't complain about your look nor feel alone ever again.
You were standing in your house entrance dressed with one of his oversized shirts, seeing how his tall frame was walking across the street, to the opposite direction to your house: he was leaving you.
"Satoru, please! Don't leave me!"
You were shouting to him, tears falling down from your swollen eyes, having a tiny hope he would turn around and come back home. You hoped this was a joke, a really bad one: after all, he was the king of jokes.
But seeing your desperate shouts were causing no effect on him, you surrendered; you immediately fell on your knees, head in your hands, crying, sobbing, feeling how your heart was breaking in tiny little pieces because after all these years, he abandoned you. The only thing he had promised not to do so. He lied... as everyone did in your life
"Satoru, come back..." you were repeating to yourself, eyes fixed on the floor in astonishment, still believing this was a dream, you even pinched your cheeks but,then, you assumed this was the most real thing you ever lived through.
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
It's a quiet and peaceful night, the room being lighten by the moon, the soft summer breeze moving the curtains while the white haired man, who barely gets some sleep, is looking at your sleeping silhouette, spellbound; he is tempted to trace your pinky cheeks with his long fingers, thanking the gods for letting him to have such a wonderful, kind and ethereal woman by his side.
He is also happy that you let him in, to get to know you more, your secrets, insecurities, your anxiety issues and mostly your low self esteem. He was always aware of when you were feeling uncomfortable or uneasy by only looking at how you usually furrow your eyebrows with disgust and that is when he immediately knows that you are not okay anymore.
He would instantly drop everything he was doing, even canceling meetings with the higher ups so he can spend the rest of the day with his girl, spoling her with her favorite snacks, cuddling in bed while watching her favorite movies/TV shows but mostly; being with you when you most needed him.
Suddenly his daydreaming is interrupted when he feels you started to move in the middle of your sleep, droplets of sweat in your forehead, making some strands of hair stucked to it. You were babbling nonsense; at first he decided to ignore it since you usually have dreams like that, but when you screamed his name in a terrified way all of sudden, that really caught his attention.
By the time you are slowly realizing that all was a nightmare, you feel those familiar arms around you, his chest pressed in your back, feeling his increased heartbeats and his head buried in your neck. You can't help but start crying because you thought your worst fear came true.
You felt relieved, it wasn't.
"Shh shh, it's okay, baby. I'm here" he whispers to your ear, your body still trembling, hard breaths leaving your mouth, shock running through your body, like you were paralyzed. "It was a bad dream, sweets. It wasn't real. The only thing that is real in this room is you and me" he says this giving your cheek smooches as you begin to calm down.
"Toru..." your voice trembles, tears showing at the corner of your eyes, all that you want is being wrapped in those arms, the ones that always make you feel safe, loved and most of all, that the strongest sorcerer, the love of your life, Satoru Gojo, your Toru, is by your side another day.
He breaks the embrace and move in the mattress so he can be in front of you, to do what he does best: to be there for you.
"I'm here, sweets" he cups your face so you are looking at his cerulean eyes filled with worry.
It breaks his heart to see you at such vulnerable condition, being aware of he wasn't able to do something to prevent you from having that nightmare.
He put a strand of hair behind your ear in a delicate way as if you were about to break in tiny little pieces, without breaking the eye contact.
Satoru won't ask you about your nightmare, but, he can guess it was related to him. It's not the first time you woke up in such state; the first time you did it, it turned out you dreamt about Satoru dying in your arms after visiting him in Shoko's infirmary due a bad injury during one of his missions.
It was extremely hard to him to calm you down after you told him every detail of it, so he didn't want you to freak out again, you have already dealt with too much pain during your sleep.
"I'm here, love. I'll never leave you by your own. I never break my promises, especially if they involve the love of my life, you" he says giving a sweet and gentle kiss in the tip of your nose, then, in your left cheek, the other and finally, in your lips. He was pampering you with all the love he has for you, his everything.
It was a kiss filled with love, devotion, adoration but mostly, with care. You close your eyes, your chest inflates with a warm feeling that you only feel with Satoru; you will always feel safe if he is by your side.
"Let's go to bed, baby. Try to get some sleep, and remember, I'm always here no matter what, okay?"
You nodded and let Satoru tuck you in, covering your body with the sheets and then he did the same placing himself behind you, hugging you from behind, wrapping his arms around your waist, his hands placed in your low belly. His face was buried in the crook of your neck, feeling his warm breathing.
That is all you needed. To feel alive, to feel safe, to feel this is real
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
© GOJOSATORUBRAINROT— do not plagiarise, repost, use or translate my works on any platform.
Taglist: @shogunish @msjellyf1sh
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dumpywrites · 4 months ago
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So What if We - Kim Namjoon / RM
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Prompt: “This wouldn’t change our friendship, right?”
Prompt request: HERE
Genre/tags: Slight angst, friends to lovers, minor mentions of smut
Pairing: Namjoon x she/her reader
a/n: I've been into friends to lovers trope lately and keep prioritizing the stories w/ this theme. I'm not neglecting the other requests I swear! haha this also turns out more sweet rather than angsty, it seems like I'm quite a bad angst writer T_T
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“This wouldn’t change our friendship, right?”
That was what the guy said to you, the morning after waking up next to you in your very own bed. His eyes were a bit droopy but he had a smile smeared on his lips. His two layers of top were tossed somewhere on the bedroom floor, messily, and his jeans were hanging loosely on the edge of the bed. You thanked the heavens that he somehow had his boxers on with him.
Both of you were drunk the night before. You knew it was a bad idea to bring alcohol to the mix when you vent to your best friend. Nevertheless, you did it anyway and the damage had been done.
Being friends with Namjoon came because of the convenient at first. While it was true that both of you came from the same circle of friends, you were never that close at the beginning. After switching job and finding out his apartment was actually near your new workplace, he would often ask you to eat dinner together after work, knowing your tendencies to forget and skip meals after work.
And that was how you grew closer. Noticing how cute his dimples were and how caring he was towards you came naturally after that. He was a gentleman. The small things he did when you were with your friends suddenly felt a little more special. Before, you would never bat an eye when he helped you on the most basic things, like pulling Taehyung’s dinner chair, just because of how heavy they were. He would always do that before, but lately, your heart did a little flip when he did the gesture. 
It started to worry you as day by day you began to see him romantically rather than how you’d view the rest of your friends. Safe to say getting pissed drunk with just the two of you comprehensibly was a bad idea. 
It started when both of you were on your fifth can of sparkling rum, the tv was playing baby shark, you could not care less of what was playing at that point, alongside the scattered conversation cards on the floor. 
You could barely read the question card in your hand, but Namjoon was quick to read his. 
“Why did you break up with your most recent ex?”
You frowned. “That’s not fair, how come your last question was about what do you miss in your childhood but I got this?!”
“Just answer it!” He laughed. 
“I don’t know. It’s been a year I don’t even wanna remember.” You shrugged.
“It’s been that long?” 
“Yeah.” You chuckled. “Can’t believe it’s been a year since last time I got laid.” 
He looked at you with widened eyes due to the unbelievable sentence that just came out from your mouth. The alcohol truly was making you lose your filter. 
“You haven’t got laid in a year???” 
“Stop, don’t say it like that!” You whined. “So what if I don’t do casual hookups?”
“True but…” He squinted his eyes, trying to get a better look at you. “I just can’t believe it cause you’re hot.”
You eyed him questioningly, squinting in a cartoonish behavior. 
“I have eyes.”
“So do I, duh.” 
“Just take a compliment, please.” He rolled his eyes.
Both of you were sitting on the sofa with shoulders touching each other. Your head was getting heavy and his voice started to sound like honey, buttering your ears, making your mind dizzy. Furthermore, you did not know since when did he has his hand over your left thigh, just sitting there doing nothing. 
“Don’t you get horny sometimes?” He asked again, followed by a light grin. 
“Obviously.” You laughed bitterly. “Why? You’re offering help or something?” 
It was a bold thing to say, but before you knew it, somehow you were manhandled into his lap and your lips met in a rough and hungry kiss. Honestly you did not know how many minutes passed of both you just tongue dancing with each other. He broke the kiss only to ask you a question. 
“Do you mind if I touch your boobs?”
You almost laughed, but quickly nodded anyway. The rest was history, which brought you to the first problem. Your best friend waking up almost fully naked next to you, asking you a question that sounded so vile in your ears. 
“This wouldn’t change our friendship, right?”
“Yeah… I guess so.” 
“I don’t wanna make you feel uncomfortable or anything—“
“No! I swear I’m not…” You quickly interrupted. 
“I did wear…”
“You did.” You chuckled. “It was a good thing I had some in my bedside.” 
“Okay.” He laughed nervously. “You sure you’re alright, though?”
“I mean… shit happens, I guess?” 
“I guess you’re right.” 
You were in fact a big fat liar. Things quickly went downhill right after. If it wasn’t that obvious to you then, it was now. You had feelings for Namjoon and it was even harder when he would still ask you to eat dinner with him after work. He acted like nothing had ever happened between you, and so did you. You endured and buried whatever feelings you had, for the sake of not wanting to lose him. 
Watching him acting normally when your friends were around while here you were, trying your best not to break your character. 
**
“Jin!” You exclaimed, hugging the guy. 
“Come on, everyone’s drinking already!”
Of course you were late, you were considering the option of not even showing up at all. It was getting harder trying to compose yourself while Namjoon was right there with all of your friends. 
“Why is Yoongi dancing?” You looked at the chaos in front of you. 
“I told you, they’re already drinking.” Jin laughed. “Here, take this.” The guy handed you a cup. 
You cringed upon bringing the cup closer to your nose. “Is this Jungkook’s whiskey cola?! That guy mixes like one percent of cola to his whiskey. I’m not drinking this.”
“You could always spend the night.” The older guy replied as he shrugged at you with a grin on his handsome face. 
“I’m not sleeping on your couch.” You laughed, bringing the untouched cup with you anyway. 
“You’re here!”
You gulped. Of course he had to greet you all excited. You wanted so badly to wipe that stupid smile off his face, but you couldn’t. You had to put on this whole best friend act. Just a little longer.
He looked casual and boyish. The plain army green oversized tee matched with his cream colored bermuda shorts. Ever since he decided to bleach his hair you couldn’t manage more than three seconds looking at his face. It was just a silly thing he did when he was bored, but boy oh boy did he look hot.
Managing a smile, you hoped he didn’t notice the few seconds of silence you took. 
“Come here!!!” Yoongi shouted at you with a silly smile on his face. Man was clearly drunk out of his mind. 
“Who’s responsible for this?” You felt bad but couldn’t help but to laugh slightly at the sight. 
“Let him be, dude’s heartbroken.” Taehyung bit his inner cheek as he told you. 
“Poor Yoongi.” You cooed. 
“Joon though, on the other hand…” Taehyung continued, whispering to your side. “My guy looks like he’s in love.”
Your body jumped internally. “He is?”
“You don’t know? I thought you guys hangout together a lot lately.”
“Well, yeah but… he’s never really mentioned anything in that topic actually.” 
“Weird.” Taehyung hummed. “Cause he’s totally acting like he’s in love with someone right now.” 
“He acts the same.” You replied. Secretly you prayed that your friend would not notice the annoyed tone in your voice. 
“He’s been writing love songs, are you kidding me?!” The guy next to you laughed. 
“So? Love songs sell.” You rolled your eyes. 
“Bro, I saw this part of the lyrics where he talk about a girl riding him! It’s insane!” Taehyung beamed. 
A flush of heat came through you and you cleared your throat, regaining your composure. “That’s none of my business.” 
“Ah, I get it now. You’re jealous.” The lad smirked and nodded his head at you. 
“Now what kind of conspiracy theory is this?!” You tried to laugh it off. 
“I mean, yeah he doesn’t normally go for girls that look like you.”
“That’s offensive.” 
“No, I mean in a good way. He dates the most boring and basic looking pretty girls.”
“I was feeling great until you drop the word “pretty” at the end.” You eyed the guy. 
“He doesn’t join our online gaming nights anymore.” 
“And?” 
“Since he started hanging out with you.”
The statement made you stop. Taehyung’s words had you contemplating. Some nights you would give Namjoon a call when you were just simply tired, wanting to hear the comfort of his voice. Listening to his random rambles and yaps were enough to ease the burnt out from work. Could it be? Was talking to you important enough to make him skip gaming with his friends? You hoped it wasn’t just a silly thought. 
“Hello?” Taehyung waved at you. “Back from delulu world, yet?”
“Shut up.”
“Suit yourself.” Taehyung snickered before leaving you to join the others doing karaoke session. 
You could only shook your head in amusement. After being friends with them for years, the sight of the guys being goofy was definitely not something new to you. Spotting the empty dining table, you chose to sit on the chair, watching them from afar. 
That was until a certain someone approached you. 
“What are you guys talking about?” Speak of the devil. 
You forced a grin. “You know Taehyung and his silly rambles.” 
“You’re not gonna join us?” 
“Nah, I don’t feel like drinking today.” Funnily, the cup of drink was still in your hand. You swirled the liquid and stared at it. 
“What’s bothering you?” He asked while taking the empty chair next to you. 
“Just don’t wanna drink today, that’s all?” 
“Wanna go get some fresh air?” He looked at you with a sly smile. 
“We can???” You looked at him with wide eyes. “Where?”
“Jin’s bedroom balcony. We just have to be very quiet though so they don’t notice us going upstairs.” He chuckled. 
“You’re crazy. This is some type of shit that will get slippers thrown at us!” 
“He’s already on his new cup.” Namjoon said, bringing your attention to the older guy taking a fill of his drink. “He won’t notice.”
The smile on his face was making it hard for you to refuse the offer. Sighing, you put the plastic cup down on the table and stood up. 
“Fine, but if anything happens, I’m blaming it fully on you.”
“Whatever you say, princess.” He laughed and stood up as well. 
Oh if only he knew the effect he had on you, just casually calling you with that nickname. 
Both of you tiptoed upstairs, giggling like a couple of high schoolers sneaking out. You let him open Jin’s room and closed the door behind. As soon as you both make it to the balcony, you saw him shuffling his hand through his back pocket. 
“Do you mind if I smoke?”
“Uh, no. Go ahead.” 
“Thanks.” He said before lighting one on his lips. 
You just stood there, unknowingly admiring him huffing and puffing smoke to the opposite direction from you. 
“Still don’t wanna tell me what’s inside your pretty little head?” He looked at you with a grin. 
“What’s with the compliments today?” You raised one of your eyebrows at him. 
“It’s probably the alcohol.” He chuckled. 
“Wow, so you need to be drunk to say that I look good?!” You folded your arms.
“I’d say it made me more honest… but believe what you wanna believe.” He looked to your direction, making your heart jumped. 
You cleared your throat. “Joon, I uh… I kinda need to tell you something.” 
“What is it?” 
Whatever the hell that happened between us, changed me. I wasn’t okay with just being friends. I have feelings for you. 
“You look like the baby from Ice Age movie.”
“Fucking hell.” He groaned as you bursted out laughing. 
It was for the best. He did not need to know. You would outgrow this abnormal phase.
The whole world stopped when he suddenly tucked your hair behind your ears. You froze, looking at him, searching for his eyes. There was that smile again. 
“It’s windy.” 
“Y-Yeah.” You stuttered. 
“This might sound crazy but can I kiss you?”
You widened your eyes and stepped back a bit. “You’re drunk.”
“Maybe if you…“ He groaned, squeezing his cigarette bud and tossing it. “Fuck it.”
“Huh—“
Your words were quickly cut by his lips on yours. Your mind went blank in an instant. What? Why? Whom? What was even happening you did not know anymore. All you knew was his lips moving softly against yours and the only thing that was filling up your brain was to do the same thing to him. You could taste the slight bitter taste of his cigarette, mixed with whatever fruity drink he had before, the one the boys clearly had drank all before you came since you were left with Jungkook’s abomination whiskey. 
You didn’t know how long were both of you lip locking with each other before you felt his hands started to travel, feeling up your body. You hummed on his lips and felt his breath hitched. Things seemed wrong but you couldn’t bring yourself to stop it. How could you? When this was all you wanted all along?
“Joon… I…” 
You tried to protest, but he quickly captured your lips again. This time more hungrily, almost feral. You swore you felt his hands grab your butt, massaging them softly. You flinched, a low yelp escaped your lips. 
Then he suddenly stopped. 
“Jesus, I’m so sorry.” He palmed his face. “I didn’t mean— Shit, you’re gonna hate me…”
“It’s okay, you’re just drunk…” 
“I’m not drunk.” He stopped you. “I have feelings for you.”
Now that’s a surprise. 
“You have feelings… for me?”
“Should’ve told you sooner, but I chickened out.” He smiled to himself. 
“You asked me if things wouldn’t change after that night…” You looked away, biting your lips. 
“I was panicking. I thought you’d hate me.”
“Well I don’t.” You huffed. “Clearly, I’m still here. I somehow managed to maintain my sanity while trying my best not to let things change between us. Just like how you wanted…” You didn’t realize some tears were already escaping your eyes. 
“Hey, don’t cry.” He grabbed your wrist and pulled you into a hug, which frankly, only made the crying worse. 
“You’re dumb.” You pulled away slightly, just to see his face. “But I have feelings for you too.”
You both laughed in unison and he pulled you back in his embrace, hugging you tighter. “I’m sorry.”
“You better be.”
“OH MY GOD!!!” 
You both turned your heads to Jin’s voice yelling from a near distance. In a flash you let go of each other. You looked at Namjoon and he only shrugged with a disappointed smile. 
“Who told you fuckers can enter my room so freely, huh?!” Jin yelled. 
“We thought you were drunk enough to not care.” You replied. 
“Well thanks to Yoongi turning our karaoke session into a crying fest, I had to wrap things up. Then I realize the two of you are missing.” He rolled his eyes. 
“I’m sorry, it was all me. I needed a quick smoke and I dragged her along.” Namjoon laughed, clearly not taking the older guy seriously. 
“Whatever.” Jin turned his back. “Just fuck off for now, my head hurts and I need to sleep.”
“Yes, sir.” Joon replied. 
“Go sleep somewhere.” The lean guy shooed. “And don’t you dare have sex in my house.”
“We didn’t—“ 
“Zip it.” Jin pointed at you. “Go before I throw my expensive Louis Vuitton slides at both of you.”
The two of you quickly made an exit. As soon as the door closed, the thick awkward atmosphere surrounded you. 
“You’re staying here for the night?” He asked. 
“Don’t know.” You looked around. “Are you?”
“Wanna… go back to my place? It’s just a ten minute walk.” He said sheepishly. “And uh, do things correctly this time?”
A giddy smile formed on your lips as you let him take your hands in his.
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Thank you for reading! ⛅️
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tojjist · 8 months ago
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𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐘 ↳ r. sukuna
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in which: the king of curses left you the moment you announce your pregnancy to him. but after nearly losing you... he might be having a change of heart contains: very slight objectification of reader, reader is a half-curse, mentions of injury and near-death experience, reader is pregnant, slight mention of pregnancy sex, sukuna is really ooc tbh A/N: yall really wanted soft sukuna lmao. i js wanted to write something more in my own style instead of the tumblr style. It's all over the place really, also obv trueform! sukuna. w.c : 1.6k
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“Sukuna-sama?” Your voice comes out a breathy whisper, barely audible.
“Do– ugh,” The pink-haired curse sighs. “Don’t call me that. And don’t make me repeat myself.”
You haven’t known Sukuna to be tender. Actually, scratch that. You used to genuinely believe he mistook the adjective for an affront. He probably still does, despite the sheer softness of his actions. His mind is a marvel far beyond your, or anyone else's, comprehension. And if Sukuna hasn’t always been complicated, his sudden switch of behavior recently has rendered  unriddling the complex being that he is even harder.
“What do I call you then?” There’s confusion in your tone; confusion fused with unadulterated innocence. His eyebrows crease further. He loved how naive and ingénue you are. Such a simple, sheepish thing. Easy to lead one, easy to use, easy to hurt. But as of late, he’d come to hate it.
He hates that he hates it. He shouldn’t care.
“I don’t fucking know,” he snaps back. It’s enough to bring you silence, the somber tone he uses coming with a sense of finality. 
Rough callouses are surprisingly gentle against your flesh��callouses that slap, bruise, grope, but never caress. Despite that, he pulls your underwear up your thighs with utter care. If you didn’t know any better, you might even dare call his actions delicate.
“Does it hurt?” He reminisces. Curious digits stroke your lower abdomen and across the swell of your belly, where an ugly scar sits. It decorates your skin with a long, uneven line of dried blood cells.
“It’s not too bad,” You assure, daring to test your luck by bringing your own hand to his hair. It causes the king of curses to pause. His ember eyes continue to stare at your scar, unable to swat your hand away for some reason. The wooden floor beneath him feels too cold. Or he feels too hot. He’s unsure.
In the dimness of the room, there is no light but the flickering glow emitted from the fire, ensconced within a cage of brick—a fireplace, by name. Yet, the warmth that enfolds you does not excrete solely from the flames. It originates from within, a pulsating heat that comes with the beat of your heart as a large palm finds your shoulder, urging you forward with an urgency that seems to echo through the very fibers of your being.
“What about this one?”His intense glare persists, averting your demure gaze. Never before have you witnessed him in such a state, making you wonder whether this demeanor is a consequence of recent events.
“It’s fine, I promise,” Your whispered words cause his gaze to harden even further, his thumb tracing over another, deeper cut nestled in the valley between your breasts. This one could have been fatal. The realization sends a shiver down his spine, unsettling him to his core. Sukuna, the ancient and ruthless curse, has borne witness to countless horrors in his long existence, inflicted unspeakable cruelty upon countless souls, but none have shaken him to his core quite like seeing you teetering on the brink of death. The memory stirs within him an unfamiliar sense of disquiet, a realization that his desires may have consequences far more profound than he ever anticipated.
The brawny curse grunts in response, opting to continue examining the scar. He’s careful to not stretch it as your human flesh would hurt. 
Sukuna’s agenda never included leaving a child within you. It never even crossed his mind. Such muses were not to be entertained, especially not with you.
You. Yeah, you who doesn't try to kill humans simply for the pleasure it brings. You who takes life so lightly, as if you have several souls to spare. You who accepts every word Sukuna says as an indisputable fact, every order executed before he has a chance to reconsider.
You, who has shared your bed with the strongest curse more times than he cares to count, always intrigued him—an enigmatic subject for his manipulations. You, who confided in him the startling revelation that your half-cursed body now nurtures a growing fetus.
At first, Sukuna swore he'd never visit you again, adamant in his belief that he wanted no involvement in your pregnancy, leaving you to navigate the situation alone. Despite his capability to end your life without hesitation, he chose to spare you. Sukuna granted you a reprieve under the condition that he never crosses paths with you or whatever child you carry. He told himself time and time again that you would be a rather boring kill, not worth the effort. But it wasn't about the difficulty of ending your life—it was an excuse. He'd never admit that he doesn't want your blood staining his hands
Sukuna swears he’s not soft, that he doesn’t care for you at all.But the notion of being the one who brings you to your end does not enthrall him in the least.
He doesn’t care for the inferior likes of you, he reminds himself. That’s absurd. It’s laughable. It’s offensive, even. He doesn’t ‘care’, It’s simply curiosity that keeps him around. Curious of what kind of child the one you carry would come out to be. To see if they’d be worthy of being called his kin or not.
“You’re leaving, aren’t you?” Your voice is dulcet, a melody that cuts his train of thought smoothly. Unlike anything he’s ever heard before. There’s a pleading tone, a need so urgent it's almost painful. He finds pleasure in that. Your perpetual longing for him, your unwavering loyalty even after his defeat by sorcerers the first time around—you kept him close like a devoted guardian to a fallen hero, even when you knew is anything but a hero. It's a power unlike any other—staying but not out of fear, it's a choice. A strong belief.
Balancing on his knees between her parted legs, he reaches out, his fingers finding purchase on the edge of the bed. His grip tightens instinctively, fingers slipping beneath the hem of the sheet as he steadies himself. With a controlled effort, he pushes upward, leveraging the bed for support as he rises to his feet
“Why do you ask questions you know the answer to?” He muses, his towering frame looking down at you. The flickering flames of the fire, their orange hues swirling and weaving a macabre tapestry around his countenance, lend him an aura of terror that would instill fear in any who behold him. Yet, unlike others, you find his presence strangely comforting. Despite the aura of terror he exudes, you've grown accustomed to it, finding solace in his formidable presence now more than ever before.
Your only reaction is to chew on the inside of your cheek, careful to not bite the fiber too hard. There’s an ambivalent air to him, remaining motionless as he towers over you. It seems as if he’s looking for something. Anything. He wants a reason to stay, but he can’t seem to find one satisfying enough.
He owes you nothing. But when you look at him like that… He’s never been one to falter at your pleading face, but perhaps he’s changing little by little. He staunchly refuses to acknowledge this change still, for him to do so would be an admission of vulnerability, a humiliation he cannot bear, even to himself. How he yearns for the willpower to end you, to push you away so you never obstruct his way like this again.
The worst part of it all is his acute awareness of why he feels so strongly now. He knows that it’s all him, and not at all you. He can pinpoint the exact moment he regret leaving your side. The memory is seared into his very core. 
He wishes he could forget, to erase the haunting image of you, wounded and bleeding, from his mind. 
It was when he came back a few days after his departure, for reasons he can’t recall, only to be greeted by the sight of a malevolent curse looming over you, hungry and poised to make you its next meal. He shouldn’t have intervened. It's the natural order—a relentless cycle where only the strongest survive, preying upon the weaker. He knows he's no exception. Nor are you.
But seeing you sprawled out on the floor, barely intact, with his child inside of you. 
He gulps at the memory, feeling an overwhelming urge to touch you once more, to make sure you’re not some figment of his imagination. To keep you from harm. You’re so stupid, so goddamn naive. He doesn’t know what to make of you. Other than a fucking headache.
“What is it? What do you want, brat?” He hopes to catch some semblance of his normal attitude. “Get it over with.”
“Please stay,” You plead, fingers gently gripping the open kimono he had thrown on once finished with you. “Please, Sukuna-sama.”
He sighs. You’re so obstinate.
Perhaps it's his lack of understanding that breeds hesitation within him, or perhaps it's his inherently fierce nature. A thing like you deserves to be treated with the utmost delicacy, cherished and nurtured. Sukuna, with his staunch commitment solely to his ideals, can never be the one assuming such a role for you.
“You’re doing things to me, you know?” Sukuna gets down, kneeling between your parted legs again, placing a warm palm in either side of your hips and seizing you within.
Maybe… staying with you tonight wasn’t such a ludicrous notion. He’s the king of curses; he  has all the time in the world to fret the trivial details.
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chillinglyadventurous · 2 months ago
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Relationship with Pre-Portal v. Post-Portal Ford - The Fic
Based on this post. Thank you to @carmillababyy for suggesting I write this! Let the angst and fluff ensue.
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The first time you saw Stanford Pines again, after all those years, your body froze. You stood there in his lab. You stared at the man who had once occupied so much space in your life, and yet, had always felt distant. Ford had returned from the portal, older, scarred, and wearier than you had ever imagined. His six-fingered hands were more calloused, his face more lined, and his eyes carried the weight of too many worlds. For a long moment, you simply looked at him, the past rushing back in fragments, memories of neglect, of quiet resentment, and of unspoken words.
You couldn’t forget how it had been before he disappeared. Back when his world was all about his research, the mysteries of the universe, and the inevitable lure of the unknown. He was brilliant. There was no doubt about that, but, back then, you always came second, or even third, to the puzzle pieces he was putting together. It was hard to remember a time when you hadn’t been sidelined by Ford’s obsession with his work.
“Sorry, dear. I’m quite busy. Maybe later?” Ford would often say, his voice distracted, his mind miles away even when sitting right next to you.
You’d nod, telling yourself to be patient, that he would come around, but there was never a later. Later, Bill came into the picture and, suddenly, you weren’t even second anymore. His research consumed him, and Bill’s arrival buried you under an ever-growing pile of priorities that did not include you. You weren’t angry at Ford for being passionate about his work. How could you be? It was one of the things that had drawn you to him in the first place. However, being in a relationship with him had been more like living with a roommate who barely knew you existed then the loving partnership you had been promised.
Just like that, in a heated fight between him and his twin brother,he was gone, sucked into the portal, lost to dimensions beyond your comprehension. You had grieved for him, in your own way. You grieved the relationship you’d never fully had, for the potential that had always been hanging just out of reach. You had grieved the idea of him, the one that kept you from leaving a long time ago. It was hard to move on, but eventually, you had. Time had a way of dulling the edges of pain and you built a life without him even though you never loved another. How could you?
But now, standing in front of you in his dilapidated, destroyed lab, Stanford Pines was back.
His voice was low, almost hesitant. “Hey,” he said, as though no time had passed, as though the years between his disappearance and this moment didn’t exist.
You nodded but remained silent, still trying to process the rush of emotions. You stood in your spot instead, dumbfounded at his simple ‘hey.’ What could you even say? Welcome back? It felt too simple, too shallow for the complexity of everything you were feeling. You wanted to slap him for being so self-centered. God knows you had wanted to for so long. You wanted to throw your arms around his neck and kiss him.
Ford rubbed the back of his neck, an old, familiar gesture of nervousness. “I didn’t expect to find you here,” he admitted.
“I didn’t expect to see you again. I thought you were gone for good,” you crossed your arms in an attempt to shield yourself from the overwhelming emotions flooding your mind and body.
Ford winced slightly at your words and, when he spoke again, there was a softness in his voice, “I almost was. I’m sorry, [Y/N], for everything, truly. I wasn’t a good partner. I can see that now.”
“You could say that.,” you couldn’t help the bitter laugh that escaped your lips. 
The memories of waiting for him, hoping that someday you’d matter as much as his research, came rushing back. The quiet dinners, the lonely nights, the countless times you’d told yourself you could wait just a little longer.
Ford’s expression was filled with regret. He took a step closer. “I can’t make up for the way I treated you back then. I was blind. I thought I could balance it all, my work, Bill, everything, but I couldn’t. In the process, I hurt you.” 
There it was. The apology you’d always wanted but never expected to hear. You swallowed hard, the years of hurt and disappointment settling like a heavy weight in your chest. It took your breath away and your couldn’t decide if it was a pleasant feeling or not, him actually looking at you, seeing you for the first time ever.
“You hurt me, Ford. A lot. I spent so long wondering if I ever mattered to you, or if I was just another distraction you couldn’t deal with,” your voice cracked as you spoke, your words forced through your lips.
He met your gaze then, and for the first time and you saw the vulnerability in his eyes, “You did matter. You mattered more than you could know, but I was too caught up in my own head to see it. I thought I had time to fix things later, but I was wrong.”
The sincerity in his voice was real and you could feel the anger you’d carried for so long starting to shift into something else, something softer. You wanted to hold on to that anger, to remind him of all the times he had pushed you aside, but the man standing in front of you wasn’t the same Ford who had disappeared into the portal. He was different, mind and body. You wanted to forgive him, but that little voice in the back of your head kept nagging. He’d promised to be better before, but he never kept those promises.
He stepped closer despite how stiffly you stood before him, carefully reaching for your hand, “I thought about you the whole time I was gone, about everything we lost. I don’t expect you to forgive me right away, if at all, but I want to make things right.”
“Ford,” you started, your voice shaking a little, “how do I know this time will be any different? What if you get caught up again? What if I’m always waiting? I’m not doing that again. I can;t go through that again.”
He squeezed your hand gently, his gaze never leaving yours, “I’ve learned. I’ve changed. The portal, Bill, it all showed me what’s really important. My research will always be a part of me, but it’s not the only thing that matters. You do and I want you with me in all of it. I don’t want to shut you out anymore.”
You looked at him closely, trying to see if there was any hesitation in his offer, but he meant it. He wanted you to be part of his life this time, fully. You could see it cleary in the love in his eyes, so you took a deep breath, knowing this wasn’t going to be easy. There was still a lot of hurt between you that needed to heal, but, for the first time, you believed him when he said he wanted to make it work.
“Okay,” you whispered softly, nodding, “but you have to promise me something.”
Ford’s eyes softened. “Anything.”
“Promise me you won’t disappear on me again. No more portals. No more leaving me behind while you get lost in your work. If things get bad, we deal with it together. No more pushing me aside.”
Ford took both your hands in his, his gaze steady and unwavering.  He knew you were serious. There would be no more chances after this one, “I promise. I won’t leave you behind, not again.”
For the first time in a long time, you believed him.
Things were different now. Post-portal Ford wasn’t the same man who had gotten lost in his obsession with the unknown. He had come out the other side older, wiser, and more aware of the things that really mattered. He still had that same passion for uncovering the secrets of the universe, but he knew when to stop now, when to pull back, and when to make time for the people who mattered most. You were still second. His family came first—Stan, Dipper, and Mabel—but he made sure that you were a part of that family too.
Where there had once been distance between you, now there was closeness. Ford made time for you, in ways he never had before. He invited you into his world, his lab, his research. Though his work was still incredibly important to him, he never made you feel like you were competing with it anymore.
You went on adventures together, and though there was always the lurking danger of the unknown, Ford took care to make sure you were safe. He always had a carefully thought-out safety protocol, and even though you liked to bend the rules, he never let you stray too far from his side. Sometimes, he’d look at you and you’d see a flicker of fear, the fear of losing you and of not being able to protect you. However, he never let that stop him from including you in his world. You were his world now.
And in the quiet moments when the two of you were alone after a long day of research or adventure, Ford would pull you close, his arms wrapped tightly around you, as if to remind himself that you were still there, that this time, he wasn’t letting you go. He would kiss you softly, lips ghosting across your cheeks and neck. His hands would wander gently over your skin in the most loving touch. You were a treasure, the most beautiful thing in the multiverse. He saw that now and he wouldn’t let you forget it. He told you every day.
Stanford Pines had changed, and your relationship changed with him. What had once been toxic and draining became something meaningful, something worth holding onto. And as you stood together, facing whatever new adventure awaited, you knew that this time, you were a true partner in his life. You were no longer an afterthought.
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leqonsluv3r · 9 months ago
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naughty little bunny
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re4!leon kennedy x innocent!fem reader
— a oneshot
warnings: MDNI, 18+, dom!leon, sub!reader, reader is innocent but not stupid, established relationship/dynamic, unprotected sex, leon calls reader bunny, spitting (if you squint), praise, degradation, knife play, reader is female (she/her) pronouns used, spanking, scratching, some aftercare, reader has hair long enough to pull (but no other descriptions).
“she was quiet, like a rabbit. she was methodical with her actions. almost seemingly innocent as she used his knife to hide behind her back. almost as if she was going to stab someone, she heard a noise. a creak in the house. she was tiny, fragile and defenseless except for the knife sheathed behind her frame. she was ready to leap, to pounce until she heard his voice. "bunny..." slow and mercifully calling to her. she was damned.”
— or leon catches reader using his knife and decides to punish her for it
an: this is so long awaited it’s crazy, sorry for the delay my lovelies <3
masterlist taglist
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she lays in bed, her body pulled tight under the covers, her body laying in a string of pale skin and tight limbs. she has hickeys over her bare body, her long hair strewn across the pillow. she keeps her eyes closed and opened as she awakes.
another morning of just lying in bed, naked and exhausted as her petite body recovers from leon’s punishment from last night. she smiles weakly at the memory, her body resting against the black sheets.
his touch ghosting over her skin from the night before. he left early in the morning as he always does. it makes her sad but she knows better, he works and does the things he does so she’ll never live like she did before.
he does it for her, he loves her deep down. even if he never says it out loud, she knows.
it’s the same everyday, she stays home. she cleans and cooks, lounges on the couch. it’s not like she didn’t want to just be a stay at home…girlfriend. but he insisted when they’re arrangement got more serious, giving that his undisclosed job was dangerous.
she didn’t ask questions. she knew better, she knew that he was protecting her. keeping her in his possession out of the fear that she would find someone better. which wasn’t possible in her mind.
she knew things, but things she probably shouldn’t because of how private he was. how much he kept things under lock and key, for her own good? probably. she could see the look in his eyes sometimes when he came home from his “work-trips”.
this look that said everything without saying anything at all. he had seen things, things that were probably beyond her comprehension. of course she had questions, doubts, who wouldn’t?
he spoiled her, gave her a home and started taking care of her. giving her a less shitty life. she doesn’t know where it’s going or why he chose of her of all women. two years ago seems so far away now, so not real and she doesn’t know if she’s just numb to it now, or if she’s just too happy with the sex, love and money to care.
eventually, she gets out of bed, pulling the black sheets off of her bare body that’s covered in hickeys and marks of leon’s love. she grabs her pale pink silk robe from the chair and ties it around her bare body.
she looks around the bedroom, sighing. he didn’t even leave a note this time. she thinks to herself as she opens up the curtains to the bedroom, looking outside at the large front yard. the large trees rustling as a small wind blew through them. her flowers that she planted in the garden; a mix of tulips and lilies.
she loved the little additions she had made to his home, their home, even after two years she had to keep reminding herself that she lived there too. even if he did pay for everything.
she protested at first, wanting to contribute, but he told her he was okay with it. that his job paid enough, so she didn’t argue. he didn’t protest when she started picking out furniture, buying her clothes, letting her plant flowers and start a small garden.
he would just smile, nod and hand his card over to her. he never argued. it was when she didn’t follow his orders that he got…upset. he would punish her, even though she was supposed to hate the spanks that left her ass red and bruising, she enjoyed it.
even though she knew deep down she shouldn’t, but she didn’t really care anymore. he was always gentle and rough in the times where it really mattered. she deep down craved it, knowing that if she ever did decide to leave him, she’d never be the same again.
he was unlike anyone she had ever met before. she moved to the bathroom attached to the bedroom, padding her bare feet across the cold tile. she took a minute to look at her appearance in the mirror. the hickeys had swarmed all over her neck like a necklace of some kind.
she lets her fingers trace them with a light touch, sending shivers at the memories of the look. she cracks a small smile. she knows that she is never going to ever forget this, forget his touch.
but she wonders, even if deep down he could ever tell her that he loves her. that he could emotionally open and just tell her. she’s gonna have to find out. but until then she’s just going to wait.
and hopefully he will.
she hopes.
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later in the day, she finished cleaning, working in her garden. then she came back in, took a shower. she then blowed dried her hair and styled it as she liked. she put on a tennis skirt and just a tank top and decided to maybe take a nap for a little bit.
she was already exhausted and she had only been up and around for six hours. she let her body relax into the black duvet cover of the bed on her side. her body relaxing into the sheets again as she tried to take a nap. she needed it, at least she felt like she was obligated to it.
she had done what she needed too, taken care of almost everything about the house. she sighed and rolled to face away from the window and moving her face to press into his pillow on his side of the bed.
she inhales him on his pillow, smelling the leon smell that came with him. she smelled the hint of his cologne on the sheets and the subtle smell of his shampoo. it was hard not having him around most of the times. he had taken a week off two months ago, and that was the best week of her life.
just sex, food, sleeping and just them.
but inhaling him now, on the sheets in the bed they shared. it was almost like a drug, a small dose of it that left her wanting more.
she groaned into the sheets, upset. “fuck…” she sighed as she rolled on her back, she looked up at the ceiling of their bedroom. could he be any slower getting home? she thinks as she lets her hands drift to her inner thigh underneath her skirt.
just then as she’s about to get closer to where she really wants her hands, a slam echos through downstairs and she jumps out of bed. her heart pounding in her body as she scrambled over to where leon kept his knifes and other small weapons.
she reached into the drawer and grabbed the knife, holding it behind her back and clicking it open as she quietly opens the door. she carefully creeps down the hallway, her blood pumping fast in her veins.
her breath running fast through her throat, as her heart pounds in her ears. she creeps down the stairs. he usually called out when he was home, or he didn’t slam the door as hard. she didn’t know if it was him, if it was, he was home early.
she keeps the knife of his blade right behind her as she moves, creeping steadily as her breath comes out short. she rounds the corner to the kitchen slowly, looking to see leon standing there.
she breathed a sigh of relief and put a hand over her heart, “thank god.” she breathes out, causing him to turn around and look at her with raised eyebrows. “you okay, bunny?” he asks with a small crooked smirk on his features.
she moved the knife from behind her back to click it shut and hold it, concealing it in her palm. “i just thought you were an intruder.” she chuckles nervously as she looks at him. running her free hand over her face.
“your lucky i’m not.” he mumbled as he dropped his work bag on the counter and looked over at her. her body sheathed behind the corner to the kitchen, she hides her palm with his knife there.
“i suppose.” she hums as she smiles softly at him, her body resting half against the wall. she sheathes the knife in her palm, “your acting weird.” he observes as he looks her over with a trained eye.
she swallows and shakes her head, smiling nervously, “no i’m not, i’m just…your home early. i didn’t expect you to be.” she says with a small avert of her eyes to her feet. he clicks his tongue, shaking his head with a small smirk, he slowly saunters over to where she is.
“give it.” he says sternly as he towers over her, holding out his large hand. “i know you have something that your not supposed to. give it.” he says in a still stern voice, his blue eyes piercing into hers like knives. she feels her panties dampen at his command but she shakily obeys him, moving her palm to give him the concealed knife.
she lays it in his palm, removing her hand and letting it drop back by her side as everything within her screamed: this isn’t good. he’s mad, abandon ship! but he just sighed and shook his head as he looked down at one of his knives. “why did you have this?” he says in a low voice, holding it up in his hands in front of her face.
she shakily breathes, “i thought you were an intruder, like i said.” she says in a small breath as she looks from the knife to him, praying to god that he wasn’t mad or upset with her in any capacity. he chuckles dryly, his blue eyes glimmering a little as he raised an eyebrow at her, “and you thought a knife was going to do something? do you even know how to use this?”
he held up the knife and even clicked it open for emphasis, her breath failing her, her panties dampening at his voice. “n-no? i mean, i’ve seen movies and stuff, i thought it was…pretty simple.” she explains with a small nervous smile as she moves a little on her feet.
he hums in amusement, a grin forming on his face. “it’s anything but simple, baby. you wouldn’t stand a chance against someone with just this knife.” he says in a almost menacing voice. he holds it up to show her but then he quickly moves it to her throat.
she sucks in a breath and her eyes go wide as she looks at him, she looks at his face with fear as the cold metal kisses the pale skin of her throat. she tries to move her head against the wall to get away from the edge of the knife. “they could turn it on you in a second.” he snaps with his free hand to emphasize his point as he looms over her on the wall, she can barely feel the edge of the blade on her skin.
“i-i get it…can you…can you please get it away from me? this isn’t…funny.” she manages to get out nervously as she looks up at him, trying to be aware of the knife against her throat.
he eyes her, nodding slowly, still keeping that smirk on his face. “i’ll take it off after you learn not to put your hands on my knives when you don’t even know what the hell your doing.” he says in frustration, the veins on his arm constricting as he presses the knife in a little.
she felt her blood pumping faster and faster, her heart pounding in her ears. she nods slowly as she’s frozen in fear and she looks up at him. she knew that this was going to end up in a punishment like it always did.
she squeezed her eyes shut as she felt him drag the blade down her throat. she feels the cool metal over her collarbone and onto the bra strap peeking out beneath her tank top. she shuddered as she felt him let it go under the bra strap and the tank top strap, and with one foul swoop he sliced it open.
she gasped as the bra and tank top snapped under the blade on one side. she let her chest heave up and down in fear as she felt arousal going to her core. he watched her face, seeing her flushed cheeks and the rapid rise and fall of her chest.
he knew he was having an affect on her. he wasn’t stupid. he had been with her long enough to know when she was aroused from being punished.
“oh? you like the knife huh?” he says with a mocking tone towards her, running the blade of the knife to the other side of her chest and snapping the other side of her bra and tank top strap off. she flinched again, sucking in a breath and sending daggers his way.
“i’ll buy you a new one.” he says as if he can read the look in her eyes. she was obviously using the fact that he cut her bra off the knife as an excuse to be mad. just so he maybe wouldn’t punish her as bad, yeah, not gonna happen.
she swallows a whimper as he runs the knife over her hot skin and chest, he pulls the ruined tank top and bra down, showcasing her breasts to him fully now. “oh my, gorgeous girl. these fucking tits…” he trails off as he makes a small noise.
“perfect titties baby, all mine.” he says in a low voice as he runs the back of the knife over her nipples, the metal from the knife makes her release a small moan. she can feel them hardening, her pulse pumping from the danger and the sensation.
he chuckles lowly, “you like that? mmm, of course you do.” he says with a small look of amusement in his eyes, his hand moving the knife away from her entirely. “go bend over on the countertop, bunny. strip. you need to be punished.” he says in a demand, not as a question.
she feels her pussy pulse around nothing, practically dripping and needy at this point, a blush covering her face as she walks over to the kitchen island, stripping off her ruined tank top and bra, then sliding her skirt down her legs, then her underwear that are practically soaked through by now.
she lets them pool on the kitchen floor, he watches this with a small smirk of satisfaction and approval on his face. “bend over. you know the drill.” he says with a small grin, she nods slowly because she does know the drill, she knows what happens next.
she’s practically eager for it.
so she bends over the island in the kitchen, her nipples and breasts pressing against the cold surface and making her shiver. goosebumps erupting all over her skin at the cool air of the kitchen, her pussy and ass exposed to him as he slowly walks up behind her.
he clips the knife shut and puts it on the kitchen table before walking up behind her and rubbing his hand over the curve of her ass. “such a beautiful little ass. i think im gonna paint it red.” he says with a low voice as he grins. she bites her lip and feels his words go straight to her pussy.
he then lifts his hand up after a couple moments before bringing it down and smacking her left cheek hard, making her squeal a little. she gave up on trying to keep her noises inside, it was pointless. “mmm,” he licks his lips, rubbing over the red mark on her ass that was slowly forming.
“needs more red.” he says with a smile that was anything but genuine or gentle in this moment. he lifts up his hand again and brings it down on her right cheek this time. this causes her to release a noise mixed with a moan and a whimper. “oh bunny,” he lightly smacks both of her cheeks this time.
“this is what happens when you touch my stuff.” he says with a small mocking pout, she can’t even see his face but she can hear the cockiness, assertiveness dripping from his voice like molasses.
he spanks her again, and again and again.
until she’s practically leaking down the inside of her thigh, her cheek is pressed against the cool countertop and she’s gasping and whining. he clicks his tongue, not denying how his erection is painfully throbbing in his work pants.
“i think you’ve learned your lesson, bunny. what was it again?” he says with a small hint of amusement in his voice as he rubs his hands over the flesh of her ass, soothing over her reddened cheeks.
she sniffles and bites her lip, nearly making it bleed. “not to touch your stuff.” she manages to get out in a strained voice, he nods and smiles. “very good.” he says with a small little tap of her bare hip.
“turn around and lay on the counter for me. you’ve learned your lesson, now it’s time for your reward.” he says with a small grin, unbuttoning his pants. she nods slowly and shakily slides to stand up and turn around on her feet, wobbling a little. he braces a hand on her bare hip, “easy now, don’t fall.” he says with a small smile.
she knows he’s being a little nicer now, but she knows the switch is going to flip again and he’s gonna fuck her until she can’t walk or see straight. which is exactly what she wants and craves. and she feels relief now, relief that she wanted deep down in her bones. this was her kryptonite.
she swallows, hopping up on the counter and feeling the cool marble against the flesh of her red and stinging ass. she hisses through her teeth but accepts it and lays back, her long hair splayed throughout the counter as she feels the marble kiss the delicate skin of her back.
“good girl.” she hears him say as he pushes his pants and boxers down, looking over her body with a small bite of his lip. his praise went straight to her core, her body making her leak all over the countertop.
he released his hardened erection from his boxers, her teeth bit down on her lip in long awaited anticipation of what was about to come. he was always big to her, nothing could match how he felt inside of her.
she was practically drooling at the sight of it, keeping her legs spread on the countertop as she leaned off of her elbows. her bare back coming in contact with the cold marble countertop, as he stepped between her spread legs.
“my sweet little, bunny.” he hums lowly as he runs his hands over the plains over her stomach, admiring the way she shivered beneath his touch. “soaking all over the kitchen, so fucking messy…” she hears him say as he runs the head of his dick through her folds, making her release a small whimper.
“please. just…fuck me…” she manages to get out as she wiggles a little bit, her fists clenched uselessly at her sides as she waits for him to stop teasing her already. he shakes his head, spanking her ass lightly again, “your not in any position to make demands right now, bunny.” he says lowly, almost dangerously as he strips off his t-shirt, tossing it on the floor.
he jacks his cock a little, running the tip over her soaked folds again. the tip catches her clit and it makes her release a small moan. his low tone making her pathetically clench around nothing, she almost hated how him being mean made her so wet.
he leaned over her as she laid on the counter, his length resting hard on her folds as she feels him run his fingers over her cheek in a soft caress. “you gonna be a good girl? accept your reward?” he says with a small daring raise of his brow, an evil smirk settling onto his angelic features.
she doesn’t even have to think before she’s nodding, desperately wanting him inside of her. she wants to feel consumed by him, feel him hold her, feel him absolutely bruise her cervix. she doesn’t care anymore, her thoughts are just; him, him, him. and all on repeat.
he hums lowly, moving a little which causes his dick to prod at her soaked opening. she instinctively grabs onto his bicep at this and releases a pathetic little noise, “mmm, gonna stretch you out all over again. make sure your body doesn’t forget me.” he says in a low rasp as he leans down and lets his hand caress her jaw.
her body melts at his words, her pussy reacting to it more then herself. he taps the side of her jaw as he leans over her, “open.” she doesn’t even have to think either before she’s opening her mouth and he’s releasing spit into her open mouth.
“now swallow and then i’ll fuck you, bunny.” he says demandingly as she closes her mouth and swallows, feeling his saliva slide down her throat. she sticks out her tongue for him, showing him that she did it. he nods in an affirming way, reaching down between them and sticking just the tip in.
she almost would see stars if her eyes weren’t open, she’s sure of it. she feels her mouth fall open, her head rolling back. he pushes in just a little bit more and she wraps her ankles around his back, her hands sliding around and onto his back.
“taking it so well, knew she’d remember me.” he says in a strangled voice as he furrows his brows, pushing into her more until she was filled to the brim with him. all she could think of was she was so full, her nails slightly digging into his back, her eyes fluttering open and shut beneath him. the praise making her pussy and her head swim in delight and lust.
she could only release a strangled noise, he caresses her hair out of her eyes delicately as he leans over her, letting her adjust to his size again. “doing so good, baby. your so good.” he says in a small strangled release of his voice.
she whines and makes noises that would make a grown man blush scarlet as he pumps in and out of her at a punishing pace. his long and thick cock hitting that spot inside of her that made her see heaven and earth. her nails digging into his back and scratching deep, he lets out a low groan at this.
it doesn’t slow him down, just eggs him on. he keeps moving his hips, hitting that spot inside of her over and over again. her head is empty, all she can think of his him and his dick, feeling so fucking full and just euphoric.
“you close, bunny? gonna come all over my cock?” he says in a strained voice, she can tell he’s close too. he wants to feel her come around him, let her climax push him over the edge. she nods rapidly and releases lewd noises at his words, he reaches down and grabs her thigh that’s wrapped around his waist, pushing it up higher.
the new angle making her practically draw blood on his back, his chest heaving over her as he grunts and groans, making her whimper. every hit and punch of his dick to her cervix is bringing her closer and closer. he reaches down between them with his free hand and rubs her clit.
the sensation does what it’s supposed too, flinging her over the edge as she releases cry after cry, moaning and feeling tears of desire leak out of her eyes. she clenches around him as she comes, he groans and buries his head into her neck.
“so fucking good, gonna come inside, baby. paint your pretty walls white.” he growls against her skin as he picks up his sloppy and stuttering pace, her fingernails still digging into his back as he fucks her through her orgasm to chase his own.
his words making her back arch and her spine stiffen as he finally comes with a few more languid thrusts. releasing a small moan into the skin of her neck. his cum filling her up, making her fuller then ever and she can feel it. the familiar and foreign feeling that feels oddly comforting in a way she can’t describe.
she feels him press a small kiss to the skin of her neck, kissing his way up gently to her lips. his chest heaving from his previous release as he looks straight down at her, her eyes connecting with his in a way that makes her blush. makes her feel embarrassed after so long but oddly connected.
“i love you. you know that right?” he says and finally, finally her confirmations are there. her head moves to nod, looking up at him with a languid smile, “i know.” she whispers, her mouth dry. both of their skin covered in a thin sheen of sweat from the sex they had just had.
but the words ring out in her mind like gunshots, making her wanna cry. she doesn’t but she finally knows, all the actions and things he’s said since they’ve been together have been solidified. she feels like she could die a happy woman if she passed away right now.
he smiles, a rare occurrence, down at her. he leans down and presses a slow kiss to her lips, tasting her and conveying another message through his actions instead of his words.
after he pulls away from the kiss, he slowly pulls out of her. it leaves her oddly vulnerable and cold, he notices the change and grabs a paper towel from the roll on the kitchen island and wipes the inside of her thighs and where she was leaking with his release.
“feel better?” she hears him ask, she nods with a small lovesick grin on her features. she absolutely feels better. not a thing is wrong for her right now. she feels like she’s where she needs to be, right here with him.
“yeah, much better.” she says softly, a scarlet covering her cheeks as she sits up on the counter. this prompts him to pull his boxers and pants back up, tucking himself away. “i love you too…” she starts and his head peeks up and looks at her as she sits on the counter.
a cheeky smile before she continues, “in case you didn’t know.” she adds with a small giggle. he rolls his eyes playfully and steps in between her bare legs, moving some of her sweaty hair away from her forehead, “i did know babygirl, but thank you for telling me.” he whispers sweetly.
and he’s only sweet with her, she knows that. she knows she is special to him, just as he’s special to her. his girl, his bunny, his love. everything that he wants her to be, she’ll be for him. and she’ll do it with pride. because he loves her and she loves him just as much.
if not more.
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an: go to this post to join the taglist (also linked at the beginning with my masterlist), pls reblog and follow for more, my asks are open in my bio. i missed posting oneshots, this one (amongst others) has been sitting in my drafts for the longest. so my apologies. i love you all <33
taglist: @heartsforvin
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824 notes · View notes
solxamber · 2 months ago
Note
If its alright for you^^ Can you do Malleus, Vil, and Jade with gn reader being an angel (reader inspired to Robin fron Hsr and also Columbina, or seraphim if thats what they both are). Being and Ethereal—how would they be in a relationship with Reader? Write how you like! Also could you write a little angst on Vil envying because reader is much more beautiful than him.
Malleus, Vil, Jade with an Angel! reader
I hope I've interpreted it correctly and I hope you like it <3
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Malleus Draconia
Being in a relationship with someone as ethereal as you—a being reminiscent of a seraphim, with an almost divine presence—would captivate Malleus in ways even he didn’t fully understand. Your wings, your aura, everything about you felt ancient, otherworldly, and yet, in your company, he felt something warm and grounding.
He’d spend countless nights with you under the stars, speaking of things beyond mortal comprehension, your shared silence often saying more than words ever could. He cherished how you never treated him with fear but rather saw him as an equal, someone to confide in, to trust, to protect.
However, Malleus couldn't shake the feeling of uncertainty at times. While he was powerful, revered, and feared, you were something altogether different—transcendent. Your beauty wasn’t just physical; it was the kind of grace that belonged to myths, a presence so strong that even the most stubborn fae would bow their heads to you.
He’d watch you as you moved gracefully, your wings casting soft, shimmering light that seemed to ease his darkest thoughts. Malleus loved you deeply, but there were moments where he pondered: how long would this peace last? Could someone as divine as you ever truly remain grounded by someone like him?
And yet, each time those doubts surfaced, you’d turn to him with a gentle smile, sensing his unease. “Malleus, I chose you. Not because of your power or your lineage, but because of your heart.” And in those moments, Malleus knew that no matter how distant the stars seemed, you’d always stand by his side.
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Vil Schoenheit
Vil Schoenheit, a man who built his world on beauty and perfection, found himself in a relationship with someone whose very existence redefined those concepts. Your ethereal presence—a being so breathtaking that even the sun seemed to shine less brightly in comparison—challenged everything Vil once held dear.
He adored you, admired you, but in the quiet moments of solitude, envy crept into his heart. How could he, the man known for his flawless appearance and impeccable standards, ever compare to you? His reflection in the mirror seemed duller these days, his beauty pale in comparison to your effortless grace.
Vil wouldn’t voice his insecurities, of course. He was Vil Schoenheit, after all—poised, confident, and above all, perfect. But you could see the cracks in his armor, the way he looked at you sometimes, like he was searching for a flaw that didn’t exist.
One evening, after a particularly intense photoshoot, Vil found himself alone with you, the two of you resting in his dressing room. You could feel his tension, the way he was fidgeting, unusually quiet. When he finally spoke, his voice was barely a whisper.
“Sometimes... I wonder what it's like for you,” Vil murmured, not meeting your eyes. “To be so effortlessly beautiful. To have all eyes on you, not because of your hard work, but because... because you simply are.”
You reached for his hand, your touch soft, like the brush of an angel’s wing. “Vil,” you began gently, your voice carrying a soothing quality. “Your beauty is more than what people see on the outside. You work hard, you inspire others, and your drive is what draws people to you.”
He shook his head, a bitter smile tugging at his lips. “But it’s not enough, is it? I will never be able to match you.”
You cupped his face, forcing him to meet your gaze. “Vil, I never asked for you to match me. I fell in love with you—your strength, your vulnerability, your passion. You don’t need to be more than who you are. You’re already enough for me.”
Vil closed his eyes, letting your words sink in, though the jealousy still lingered in the recesses of his mind. But, for tonight, with you by his side, he allowed himself to believe that maybe—just maybe—he didn’t need to compare himself to the divine when you already saw him as someone irreplaceable.
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Jade Leech
Jade would find your ethereal nature endlessly fascinating. From the first moment he saw you, he knew there was something different about you. Your wings, your almost serene grace—everything about you was an enigma, something he wanted to unravel.
In his mind, you were a creature of beauty, but also of great mystery. He loved the way your mere presence could change the atmosphere in a room, turning the mundane into something almost magical. He loved even more how you seemed unphased by the chaotic nature of his twin, Floyd, or the dangerous waters of Octavinelle.
"Fascinating," Jade would often muse, his eyes gleaming with curiosity whenever he caught you mid-flight or gazing at the ocean, as if seeing it through otherworldly eyes.
You would tease him for it, smirking as you caught his stare. “You know, you don’t have to analyze me like one of your mushroom specimens.”
He’d chuckle, not denying it in the slightest. “Can you blame me? You’re far more intriguing than any mushroom I’ve encountered.”
While you remained an enigma, your kind and grounded nature endeared you to Jade in ways he couldn’t quite explain. You had this ability to see through his carefully constructed facade, to touch the softer parts of him he rarely let anyone witness. Whenever he was feeling particularly mischievous or cryptic, you had a way of disarming him with just a smile or a well-timed quip.
One night, after hours spent exploring the coral reefs beneath the surface, the two of you floated together in the calm waters, stars reflecting off the surface above. He looked at you, his gaze softened by the water’s gentle ebb and flow.
“You’re like a rare treasure from the deepest trenches of the sea,” Jade whispered, voice low and contemplative. “Something that shouldn’t exist, and yet, here you are.”
You smiled softly, your wings brushing against the water as you drifted closer to him. “And yet, here we are,” you echoed, leaning into his embrace.
Jade, despite his usual composed and calculating nature, found something precious in the way you balanced him, in the way your kindness and ethereal presence made him feel less like a creature of the depths and more like someone who could reach the surface—if only for you.
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Masterlist
361 notes · View notes
1moreff-creator · 2 months ago
Note
Is there some type of masterpost for all the crazy hidden stuff for Despair Time? like the hidden quotes, the Mai stuff, a comprehensive guide to LGI?
Well, there’s been a few really useful posts over the years. There’s the Secret Quotes, “All you have to do…” Page, Mai Quotes, About Page Text masterpost by despairing-disaster, which I must have visited 15000 times; accirax’s episode guide is a great resource even if it’s not exactly what you asked for; and at the risk of sounding a bit arrogant, I think my Mai post and my full LGI analysis video “A Full Vivisection of the David MV” are good for their respective subject, though they're more analysis than "masterpost". But, for the purposes of having it all in one place, here’s my
DRDT SECRETS MASTERPOST
Spoilers up to and including CH2 EP16
-About Page Text
The source code of DRDT's About Page holds (or held at some point?) the following text:
“You don’t understand, do you? I used to be like you. I barely remember, but I used to be like you. I cared so much about people, I cried everytime someone was hurt. I suffered for a long time stuck in here caring about people." "I know what you’re going through. You’re going to hold on as long as you have, with hope that you can make it out of here with everyone. Then you’re going to despair. That lasts a while, too." Then you’ll get bored. Like me. And you’ll wish you were still suffering. Anything else is better than boredom. "I wish I could feel something, anything else, other than being bored. I’m stuck in here for eternity, and I know everything that could possibly happen. I know how everyone reacts to a murder, what makes people turn to despair, what fills people with hope and make them survive until we all run out of food and starve to death." "I wish I could feel terrified, or afraid, or angry. But I can’t anymore. I don’t feel anything at all except boredom." Do you understand, Teacher? "This is why I’m letting you suffer as long as possible. Because it’s better than the alternative." I’m sorry. I don’t envy you. You’ll understand eventually.
(Note: The quotations marks are placed exactly as they are in the code, but the importance of this is debatable)
-Secret Quotes
Quotes hidden in the source code of each character’s personal page. Ordered here by the order in the cast list.
Teruko: It is an equal failing to trust everybody, and to trust no one at all. Xander: survivor guilt(n): feelings of guilt for having survived a catastrophe in which others died. Charles: If you forgot it, then it probably wasn’t important to begin with. None of those memories should ever be kept, anyway. Ace: I don’t know what to do with myself anymore. Arei: Because that’s what friends do. Rose: In the end, the only thing I can do is watch my wretched life go on. Hu: I want to pay for what I’ve done. But even then, I still want to live. Eden: You can’t go back, no matter how hard you try. Levi: I always believed that a person is defined by their actions alone. But maybe that’s just a poor excuse for my heartlessness. Arturo: You hated them, but even that doesn’t justify what you did. Min: I wanted to save you. David: I hate you, I hate you, I hate you. I wish you could just die. Veronika: Once something is broken, it can never be pieced together in quite the same way again. The same goes for people. J: Please don’t call me your daughter ever again. Whit: We tend to idolize the dead. Nico: Why should I own up for the mistakes that someone else made? MonoTV: Her name is Mai Akasaki.
-"All you have to do..." Page
By using MonoTV's quote to get the name, typing in https://danganronpadespairtime.tumblr.com/maiakasaki into search shows a page with this text:
“All you have to do is ask for my hand, and I’ll give it to you. Ask for my life, and I’ll give it to you as well. Don’t apologize for asking. I’ll give you my forgiveness too.”
(Bolded text highlighted for reading comfort)
Source code hides the following text:
“Are you still searching for a secret? For some explanation that will satisfy you? There’s no answer I can give you that will make you happy. Maybe I should have lied instead. I’m sorry.”
The bolded letters in this page gives you the code AOAVIEPKRO, which when typed in the same way as Mai's name (https://danganronpadespairtime.tumblr.com/AOAVIEPKRO) gives you the linked Mai Akasaki character page (you can also just Google it nowadays).
-Mai Quotes
Entering the Mai page displays, at random, one of the following quotes. The source code gives them an order and relates them to a specific character. Ordered here in the same way the code does it.
Teruko: Some years ago, she was searching for someone named 'Teruko Tawaki.' Charles: A girl who loves her family. Rose: She remembers everything that is important to others. Arturo: A girl who sees the beauty in everyone. Levi: A girl with a floral tattoo on her arm. Whit: A girl with many friends. Eden: She kept calling the number, even though no one picked it up. J: She kept it a secret, and told no one. Hu: A girl who wanted to keep everyone safe. Nico: Everyone confided in her. Ace: A girl who had a bright future. Arei: She doesn't like it when her friends fight. Min: An average girl with nothing special at all about her. Xander: She couldn't stand to do nothing. Veronika: A girl who didn't foresee the consequences. David: She forgives everyone. MonoTV: It's all your fault.
-Second Anniversary Secret Code
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There are two columns, one with letters, a dot, apostrophes and spaces, across from the other, with numbers. By rearranging the "rows" in order (1-2-3...), you get "It's all your fault." (Dot included).
-Character Playlist
At one point, dev uploaded a playlist of sixteen songs, where each one was meant to be connected to one of the characters in some way. The playlist has been privated/deleted, so here’s a recreation made by venus-is-thinking. Below are listed the songs in the order they show up in the playlist, although it’s unclear if the order means anything or they’re completely randomized. I find the latter more likely btw.
-Diamond is Unbreakable from Jojo's Bizarre Adventure OST -Sing Along by Sturgill Simpson -RUNAWAY by half•alive -cartoons by Louie Zong -asymptotic by Louie Zong, Unofficial Extended Edit by Axolotl Dreams -アイアルの勘違い (A Mistaken Belief of Love) by Niru Kajitsu, cover by yama -春嵐 (Shunran) by John -イヱスマン (Yesman) by NILFRUITS, covered by Noristry and カケリネ (Kakerine) -アンデッドエネミー (Undead Enemy) by Suzumu and Giga-P, covered by 松下 (Matsushita) -Drawing Pins by Nothing but Thieves -ハイファイ進化論 (Hi-fi Evolution Theory) by 稀雨 ("Rare Rain") and ふぁるすてぃ (Farusti) -tip toes by half•alive -ポリゴナル (Polygonal) by ふぁるすてぃ (Farusti) -Spitfire (05 Version) by The Prodigy -desk rotation by HALLEY LABS -Good Grief by Bastille
******
Literature Girl Insane
Naturally this gets a whole section for itself. That said, I will ask that you watch Vivisection (linked above) for every visual detail, piece of text, color connection theory, language theory... basically everything that wouldn't be considered a puzzle or a code in some way.
-Footnotes
Numbers which appear attached to certain parts of text, which are referenced in the video's description to give them extra meaning. Refer to this post for images of all the footnotes, as well as a first impression analysis.
[Footnote Number] Description Text -> Text it's attached to in the video. [Time of appearance and link] {Notes}
[1] In this situation, it is better to use full names over nicknames. Exclude our protagonist—he is not “that person.” -> Now [1:22] {Crosswords puzzle}
[2] Other examples include Drosophila melanogaster and E. coli. -> an albino mouse, arabidopsis. [3:02]
[3] From Title 17 of the United States Code. -> A “derivative work” is a work based upon one or more preexisting works, such as a translation, musical arrangement, dramatization, fictionalization, motion picture version, sound recording, art reproduction, abridgment, condensation, or any other form in which a work may be recast, transformed, or adapted. A work consisting of editorial revisions, annotations, elaborations, or other modifications which, as a whole, represent an original work of authorship, is a “derivative work”. [2:18] {Tumblr why did you remove yellow you're fucking up my color scheme}
[4] The practice of avoiding the number four; it is most common in East Asia. This superstition arises from the fact that the number four can be read similar to the word “death” in multiple languages. -> subtract 4, due to tetraphobia [1:46]
[5] As the translation has been intentionally botched in many parts, it should not be considered accurate. -> (translation needed) [3:10] {The text is "(translation needed)", not that I need a tanslation :v}
[6] (Prayer) -> 🙏 [2:02] {Extremely small and almost invisible, bottom right of the hands}
[7] Seven is considered an auspicious number in many Western cultures. Let's just skip it. -> Mind [2:41]
[8] ‘Tut, tut, child!’ said the Duchess. ‘Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it.’ -/> N/A. This footnote cannot be found, as it is not in the video. [N/A]
[9] no respect for the classics smh -> So sing a degraded copy [2:07]
[10] The Roman numeral for 10 is X -> X [2:00] {Very small, top right of X}
[11] I admit to lying. There is no one named ••••• •••••. I am, and always have been, an only child -> suspicious gaps [1:32] {Still no idea what the hell is going on here}
[12] “Majority rule” is known to be the fairest method of making decisions for a group. That’s why murderers never complained when we voted for them to die -> Tallying votes… [2:02]
[13] 正 -> correct [2:40] {Refer to "Tally 5" for further information}
[14] Hint: word length of 256 -> = [3:52] {Refer to "Footnote 14 Puzzle" for further information}
[15] “Ignorance is bliss” is an idiom used to say that it is better to remain ignorant about certain harsh truths, in order to avoid causing oneself stress. The expression comes from a 1742 Thomas Gray poem (“Ode on a Distant Prospect of Eton College"): “Where ignorance is bliss, 'tis folly to be wise.” -> Remaining ignorant, isn't that "happiness"? [1:47] {Again excuse the lack of yellow}
[16] While it was originally intended to serve as a military march, today it is most commonly recognized for its association with circuses and tomfoolery. -> [sheet of music] [2:49] {The song referenced is "Entry of the Gladiators," so it's presumed that's what the sheet shows. I couldn't find an exact match, but online sheets look similar enough}
[17] Not a real word. Can't be found in any dictionary. -> Democratic-ly [2:00]
[18] A/N: soz not very good at drawing flowers lol!!! -> dandelions (weed) [3:04]
[19] A dialogue between two individuals that serves as a discussion of moral and philosophical issues. -> Will you forget what you've done, I wonder? [3:42]
[20] It is considered by many to be outdated, providing little-to-no insight on human nature. -> The Kübler-Ross model postulates that those who experience grief go through a s[] of five consecutive stages: [1:53]
[21] Deriving from the Latin phrase “Et cetera” : meaning “and other (similar) things”, “and so forth”, or “and the rest (of such things)” : abbreviated to etc., etc, et cet., &c. or &c -> etc. [3:48]
[22] The rest is silence. -> [4:21] {This footnote shows up on its own on a black screen, that's why there's no associated text}
-Roman Numerals
The crosswords attached to footnote 1 can be completed in the following way, attaching each character (minus David plus Mai) to a numeral.
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Below are all the numerals, listed in numerical order. Refer to this post for images.
[Numeral] [Character] Text it's attached to *Background text* *Other background text* [Time stamp and link] {Notes}
[I] [Xander] (the world of abnormal sentiment dances) *I have always looked up to you* [3:50] {Refer to "Footnote 14 Puzzle" for further information}
[II] [Rose] Ego cogito ergo (turbatus) sum [1:34] {Translation: I think therefore I am (disturbed)}
[III] [Charles] If you doubt brittle things are broken *And now here’s my secret, a very simple secret. It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye* [1:37]
[IV] [Arei] Right now, why do you cry? [1:39]
[V] [Ace] Right now, why you go insane? *A cat has 9 additional lives* *I am but mad north-northwest. When the wind is  southerly, I know a hawk from a handsaw.* [1:42]
[VI] [Arturo] mind exercises 1 2 3 4 [2:41]
[VII] [J] Do it like that, let’s live together! *The Moral La[w] causes the people to be in com[plete accord] with their ruler, so that they wi[ll f]ollo[w] [him] regard[less of] their lives, undis[mayed] by any danger* [2:10]
[VIII] [Nico] even if i try to think, idk!!! [2:44]
[IX] [Levi] look, aside from that, give me the usual medicine *[Extract from a scientific paper on Shoemaker-Levy 9]* [2:46]
[X] [Min] Democratic-ly *In the case of a murder, all survivors must participate in a class trial. During this trial, everyone must discuss and vote for one of the remaining participants as the "blackened" murderer* *👈👈* *👉👉* *🙏* [2:00]
[XI] [Mai] God is dead [1:48]
[XII] [Eden] ???: But you're in my way, aren't you? [2:28]
[XIII] [Teruko] or *Only the eyes belied this assumption. They were small, deep set and crafty. Not only that. As the man, making some remark to his young companion, glanced across the room, his gaze stopped on Poirot for a moment, and just for that second there was a strange malevolence, and unnatural tensity in the glance* *Those are the terms. To exchange all the goodness and grace of every life in Omelas for that single, small improvement: to throw away the happiness of thousands for the chance of happiness of one: that would be to let guilt within the walls indeed.* [1:55]
[XIV] [Veronika] Things like substance of the arts *subtract 4, due to tetraphobia* [1:44]
[XV] [Whit] Remaining ignorant, isn't that "happiness"? *subtract 4, due to tetraphobia* [1:46]
[XVI] [Hu] ???: Go and cry. [2:27]
Windings
At 0:35, windings text flashes on screen. It's the beginning of Never Gonna Give you Up by Rick Astley. Yep.
-"What is the most important thing?"
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To this day the best answer we have to this is replacing each question mark with the corresponding letter of "RESOLVE." If you find something else, please tell me.
-Bullet-Finding
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The MV tells us to find six bullets, but if you look at the top left book, it says "(hint: no you can't)" Here are the five bullets which can be found.
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-Morse Code
At the end of LGI, the following Morse code flashes on screen.
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-.-- --- ..- / … - .. .-.. .-.. / -… . .-.. .. . …- . -.. / .. -. / -- . / -.. . … .--. .. - . / . …- . .-. -.-- - …. .. -. --. / .. .----. …- . / -.. --- -. . .-.-.-
-… ..- - / - …. .- - .----. … / .--- ..- … - / ..-. .- -. - .- … -.-- --..-- / .. … -. .----. - / .. - ..--..
.. / … .. -- .--. .-.. -.-- / -.-. …. --- … . / - --- / -… . .-.. .. . …- . / - …. .- - / -.-- --- ..- / -.. .. -.. .-.-.-
.- ..-. - . .-. / .- .-.. .-.. --..-- / .. .----. -- / .. -. -.-. .- .--. .- -… .-.. . / --- ..-. / -… . .. -. --. / … --- -- . --- -. . / .-- .. - …. --- ..- - / -.-- --- ..- .-.-.-
Which translates to:
YOU STILL BELIEVED IN ME DESPITE EVERYTHING I’VE DONE.
BUT THAT’S JUST FANTASY, ISN’T IT?
I SIMPLY CHOSE TO BELIEVE THAT YOU DID.
AFTER ALL, I’M INCAPABLE OF BEING SOMEONE WITHOUT YOU.
-Footnote 14 Puzzle
(Solved by y-prime) (Apologies if I get any of the technicalities wrong, I'm not good with codes)
After Numeral I flashes on screen, you get a bunch of numbers, followed by an ampersand (&), more numbers, an equal symbol (=) attached to footnote 14, and a bunch of question marks. Footnote 14 is "Hint: word length of 256," and 256 is 2^8, which is 8 bits in binary. This tells us we need to get a binary code using the bitwise AND (&). If you're uninformed, I was too, but basically, & first transforms decimal numbers into 5 digit binary, giving the next values:
14631484268173741020143036451175923368636278930404923743082436772069705217326 -> 10000001011001001000000110101001101001011101100110010110101000111100010110110001110111011000010111100111110011001000001110110011101111011011110110101101100101011101000010100001110101011101000010000101111100111011110011000011111001111111110111010100101110
43607886503718811525798764321686495628071353085956330717581498375291444100526 -> 110000001101001001100000110100001100001011101110110010100100000011010010110110001111111011000010111100101110011011100100110110101101111011011110110101101110101011001110010000101111101011100000010100001110100011011110110000001111001011011110111110110101110
Note: The second value is actually 255 digits long in binary, the first is 254 (don't- do not ask me how this happens, it's what the decoder gave me). Arbitrarily, you have to delete the first 1 from the second value.
Then, & compares each number in the binary, and returns 0 if at least one of the values is 0, or 1 if both values are 1. This gives you:
10000001001001001000000110100001100001011101100110010100100000011000010110110001110111011000010111100101110011001000000110110001101111011011110110101101100101011001000010000001110101011100000010000001110100011011110010000001111001011011110111010100101110
Which is 254 characters, you need 256. Arbitrarily, add two 0s at the beginning of that final code. When converted from 8 digit binary to text, you get "I have always looked up to you."
(I hope you appreciate the detailed explanation it took me hours to figure out what y-prime did they're so much better at this than me T_T)
-Tally 5
(Originally solved, to my knowledge, by anderscim)
Although originally we weren't meant to share the solution, I think over a full year after the video, with Part 2 fully out, the embargo is surely over by now.
On the books in LGI, there is a QR code which takes you to https://danganronpadespairtime.tumblr.com/tally5. This page has only a text box where you can input text, and a title asking "Was I correct?"
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The "Was I correct?" connects this to the "correct/incorrect" scene attached to footnote 13, which itself is 正, a Chinese symbol which can mean "just" or "correct." Additionally, this is a way that people in eastern countries tally up sets of five, the way you might see someone use something like 卌, which connects it to the infamous "tally5" URL.
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Transcribe the text, and separate it in sets of up to five characters (hence the whole "tally 5" thing), and ignore line breaks (the end of line two has four at the end, completed by the d in row three. I more or less followed the line breaks for visual clarity). Pick the first number of each set, as highlighted below.
3aqxw 97pkt c8uki 458fb dpfoa cllex 2f07b f8mg2 4b4mp fx2a(d) c6v3f 5yhxj d8i7s f1l31 2zaj5  1azet 47jod 5jcze c5mvb 6bz2o 59r14 3sf2p e916s czen7 emvbl 55ehe 9iqb2 708tt 83482 c8tw3 c77gn 47ojc a634g bcfz0 0l6s6 47wwl akcn4 6bre1 e0eam 9
Provided you've done everything correctly, you should get39c4dc2f4fc5df2145c653ece5978cc4ab04a6e9. Put that in the "Was I correct?" text box and you get the following image (you will most likely only see the top part, but copying the image and pasting it elsewhere shows the text at the bottom as well):
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I became a villain in pursuit of your dream.
I threw away my humanity for an ideal I couldn't understand.
But I don't regret it. To "regret" is to imply that I could have done anything else.
I never told you, but the truth is, I wasn't capable of ever becoming human in the first place.
So in the end, you are always-
****
-Notable Visual Details
This part is mostly subjective. If you feel something shouldn't be here or I missed something, it's because these are just the details I personally consider noteworthy, or I forgot to add something (I'm open to suggestions here). Also I'm ignoring LGI in this section otherwise I would need 15000 screenshots.
+Fork Fun
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(From left to right: Pre-prologue scene of bloody hands, Xander's eye wound from the Trial 1 investigation, Eden CG from CH2 Ep13. The first shows a bloody fork on the table, Xander's eye wound is consistent with a slash of a fork, and Eden's hand is bloody, holding a fork)
+Teruko's Mystery Voter
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(Voting results in each trial so far. Teruko received two votes in T1, and one in T2)
+Camellias (Unnamed Classmate and Mai connection)
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(Left: Mai profile, her tattoo. Right: Bonus episode 2. Same flowers)
+Matching tattoo? (Teruko and Mai)
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(Left: CH2 EP2 Teruko changing, a small black line can be seen on her left arm, similar to the stems of the flowers of Mai's tattoo. Right: Jacket off reference, a question mark is shown besides Teruko's left arm)
+Matching phone charms (Teruko and Mai)
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(Left: Teruko's Monopad, CH2 Ep1. Right: Unnamed Classmate's phone, from Bonus Episode 1)
+Drawing on Teruko's Floor
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(A drawing which appears on the floor of Teruko's room in CH2 EP3, and disappears in CH2 EP7)
+Whit's Hand Behind the Back.
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(After the cast learns the elevator won't open after Levi gets shot, Whit pulls out his unhinged sprite, where he has his hand behind his back. Personally I don't find this important, but I'll feel stupid if it is and I didn't add it, so)
+Thanatophobia: Names on the graves.
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(From left to right: "Elliot Cuevas", "Felicity Giles", "Taylor Riley." I promise it's easier to see when Tumblr doesn't compress the images. This is the main series way we get the names of Charles' brother, Arturo's sister, and Ace's old friend)
+(AltDRDT) Teacher's ID Card
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(Transcript: "This ID card is the property of Hope’s Peak Academy. Use of this ID card by any person other than the rightful holder is prohibited. Report lost or stolen ID cards by contacted 555-483-7367.")
+(AltDRDT) XF and Min's matching pin.
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(Yep, matching tie pin. Btw, Min doesn't have it in her Bonus Episode or the Sleepy MV. Did she only get this at the start of the killing game?)
-Potentially Important Posts
Nothing "secret," per say, but a compilation of some of the posts the dev has made which I consider to contain important information.
-CH1 QnA.
-Bonus Episode QnA.
-2 Year Anniversary (Already mentioned).
-Jacket off Reference (Already mentioned).
-CH2 PT1 QnA. Note: Certain answers were deleted. Here's a reblog with some of them, and below is a screenshot of a particularly interesting answer which was not saved by any reblog.
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-Teruko's Brother Back Reveal (4 year anniversary).
---
That's everything I currently remember for now. If you feel I missed anything, feel free to tell me about it! I'll try to edit this post to remain up-to-date with all the insane stuff in this series.
Anyways, hope that's enough for the ask! Thanks for giving me an excuse to make this!
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onlyseokmins · 3 months ago
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mischief maker • y.j.h.
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Pairing: yoon jeonghan x fem!reader Genres: smut (minors dni!), angst, priestess!au, fantasy!au, gods/goddesses!au Warnings: magic, mentions of blood, war, cruelty, tyranny - all that good stuff, mentions of religion (au-specific), violence (i.e. suggestion of murder), (death) threats, and possible gaslighting 💃🏻 jeonghan is an absolute FILTHY menace, light slapping, uh I wrote this so long ago and just finished it so lmk if i forgot anything?? WC: 4.2k A/N: also another thing rotting in my drafts </3 anyways kinda proud of this one but it's also obscene and hard to follow so sorry </3 let me know if you have any theories hahah!!! this goes hand-in-hand with Ashes and Cinders, so definitely recommend to read that one if you haven't already
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"Look at how heavenly you are. The lengths you'd go, so dedicated to prove your servitude."
Droplets of perspiration turn into diamonds, littering the bare skin of your back that's exposed more than usual due to the disheveled state of your robes. Neither the dewy sheen coating your skin nor the cold stone you're pressed against causes the chill that sets off tiny bumps decorating your sweat-soaked figure. It is from the sensation of a plethora of tiny gems crystalizing against your heated body before they slide to the floor. 
Each precious jewel that falls creates a tinkling melody. Echoing the sound of the ones wrapped around your neck and sewn into the fabrics that were once draped elegantly over your curves as you moved through the temple.
It's difficult to focus when your eyes are nearly crossed. Your elegant, upright visage is beyond recognition. Instead, a depraved image is reflected in the pristine water of the blessed fountain that flows out into a shimmering pool encased by polished marble. You were always quite meticulous about upholding the beauty of the temple you oversee.
Yet, who's the one sullying all the hard labor the maidens endure under your watchful guidance?
Drool dribbles past your lips, sore and swollen from how many times teeth have bitten into and at them. Now, they have no choice but to stay open and release a series of successive, sultry moans being drawn out of you and resonating throughout the chamber. Head lolling and vision starting to swim, losing count of how many times you've been brought to and over the overwhelming peak of pleasure.
"How does it feel?" Sweeping back long, flaxen bangs out of his glowing gaze with the finesse a mortal man could only dream to possess after hours upon hours of fucking, Jeonghan smirks. Miniscule encrusted diamonds grow, glisten, and gleam, bestowing a dazzling glitter on his forehead before they drop. "How does it feel for your god to bury his cock inside this tiny blessed cunt, my precious priestess?" 
If a verbal answer was needed, the both of you would be shit out of luck. Fortunately, as a sentient being, he can hear the innermost thoughts of many. Usually a low murmur in the back of his mind unless he focuses on them or they are an extremely devout believer in prayer. 
And you just happen to be the high priestess of Yoon. The model of devotion. Possibly the only mortal capable of handling the god of the temple in his true, divine form. 
By now, he has to chuckle at how your little head is only full of nonsensical thoughts. More, more, more, and Jeonghan, god, Jeonghan are the only comprehensive things that cry out to him. Even within the physical tremor of your body beneath him and the fluttering squeezes of your pussy. So much pleasure writhes throughout your very being that it races like electricity in a wire and surges inside his own, erupting into unadulterated waves of even more bliss for the both of you.
He leers in victory. Bringing you to your knees was a lot harder than expected, especially for someone who was supposed to serve the people in his name. To be completely honest, he was the one who ended up on his knees first — cleaning up the tantalizing slick gathered between your legs with his tongue. It was after you had spread them teasingly upon his arrival, accidentally summoned to your bedchambers at the seductive cry of his name. Cock-throbbing whimpers that had fallen from your lips while pleasurably climaxing from your fingers dipping in and out of the wet warmth between your legs. Eager to let go after playing for quite some time with such sweet, pooling arousal.
That was the day he found out just how much more delicious you were than the frothy nectar of the gods overflowing from their goblets during festivities. 
And he had become addicted. 
But now, look at you.
Your saintly garments are an unholy mess. Saturated by a mixture of both of your releases, the pure white colors practically become transparent. Especially following an… unfortunate tumble into the holy spring.
Normally, it would be a punishable offense to defile the holy waters. But when it's a priestess capable of the most powerful purification skills being encouraged to ride the cock of the temple's worshiped being who very much doesn't give a damn — well…
It's why you're splayed across the pool's ledge, lower body on full display for the god to use. Not entirely the most comfortable of positions. But it's somewhat of a respite for your tender breasts that are littered with sore bites and nips from Jeonghan while he muttered praises bards might be inspired to repeat as songs if they weren't so filthy.
You're unable to think a single thought in that pretty head of yours. His hips snap rapidly at such a pace to bully his dick deep within your cunt and with the force that would've broken a human of the same stature's bones otherwise. Lanky, sinewy muscles buzz with a faint glow to match the radiance of his irises.
"What would the maidens that look up to you in awe think if they saw you like this? Your loyal priestesses that respect you? The followers that worship the ground you tread on almost more than how strongly they pray to me?"
You were an influential figurehead of society. Ever since you walked in the steps fate laid out for you by a grand oracle's prophecy, you became the pinnacle of holiness in the surrounding lands. Virginity as a requirement was only practiced in the days of the old texts, and though your romps with the handsome and beautiful people of the citadel were not fully behind you, Jeonghan would make sure no one else could ever satisfy you like he can.
Besides, who could ever fuck a human as well as only a god can?
His stamina is on a whole other level. Unthinkable for a divine being well known for his laziness in the so-called dignified parables spun by the mortal tongue for generations. Maybe it's fueled by the intricate bond formed between the two of you, but it would be a lie to say it wasn't by far the best dicking down you have ever received. Jeonghan's not the thickest cock you've taken, but he sure is the longest and knows exactly how to use it.
"Dirty little priestess, the way this sopping pussy clings around me like a vice." He scoffs at the realization. "No wonder even the mightiest of gods bows down and lays with his mortal queen every chance he gets."
The distraught huff torn from your lungs paired with filthy wet noises when he pulls out of your sloppy hole is music to his ears. Akin to the harps and flutes the muses and their delicate fingers pluck and play to grace the court of deities present among the clouds.
His palm splays out, flying across your ass cheeks with a resounding crack visually reflected by the responsive jiggle and wiggle of your hips following the cruel motion. Scratch that. He bites his bottom lip with glee, the same hand fingering your cunt to scoop up the mixtures of his multiple releases and yours from earlier. The delightful squelching is much better than the heavenly harps of the gods.
Jeonghan figures that's where you'll end up one day, sitting all pretty. Whether or not you'll be a divine being — he refuses to use his wily brain to think harder about that. Though with the way the two of you continue to defile one another, a trip to the underworld may be in your future cards instead.
He reckons you'd love the delightful heat of the lava baths and the cute little boiling bubbles that pop at the surface. Especially if you decided to sink down on his cock… the god shivers delightfully at the thought.
"Vices. How fitting for you mortals."
Tugging the back of your ear with his unsoiled hand so you can turn your head, squishing a cheek against the marble and blearily struggle to look at him through unfocused pupils. Still, you're able to make out the v-shape of his pointer and middle finger — and even the clear strands of arousal stretched between them — before he sticks his tongue out to lick up. All while maintaining eye contact with a smirk, continuing his venomous words.
"Silly brother of mine, wasting time to concoct a drink for the gods who have no need for refreshments. Stupid humans who attempt to brew it with their measly tools as an homage." His thumb returns to circle your sore clit, drawing out more garbled moans. "All those efforts when this," another swipe and he's slurping it up again and tossing his head back with a throaty groan of pleasure, "this is the real ambrosia."
Jeonghan, Jeonghan, Jeonghan, cries your body, your mind, and your soul.
So much that your very being resonates and calls out his true name, causing the god's aura to glow brighter. Dozens of rubies, crystals, jades, and emeralds spill out from his pores at the effort and exertion of his dick slamming back inside of you. It's more thrilling and stimulating than participating in the senseless wars his brothers like to lure him into.
Strength fills him like never before. No one would think the god of mischief would have many believers but humans were petty. They may pretend to walk the righteous path yet they thrive on the downfall of even those close to them. You delivered messages from the god with little thought, for greater forces spiraled his playfulness into much more ominous threats if they chose to — swallowing up his domain for their own brutal goals.
"Why do you not wish for more power?" you'd dared to ask him on the rare days he appeared at the temple. Lounging about on the architecture's high peaks without a care in the world. "Surely you could have greater control."
"My dear high priestess," Jeonghan chides. He's not completely unaware of the effect his acknowledgment of your existence and title has. "The strenuous move of my pinky finger is enough effort asked of me for the next millennium. That alone could cause a child's village to go up in flames just because of a little prank gone wrong."
Your posture remains as refined and poised as always, yet your eyes wistfully trace his features — wishing it could be your hands instead. "I see."
"I imagine the creator molded me the way I am for the benefit of the world. Think of the havoc I could wreak if I was motivated to do so?"
Unbeknownst, the creator did take it into account. Though they made no concerted effort to intervene in the consensual exploitation the mischievous god took of the beautiful priestess. Or maybe it was the other way around? Fully aware of the unspoken thread weaving through the temple of Yoon, content to watch the god become more interested in life as he whispered in your ear. This time, bold words that were definitely not meant to be relayed to his followers. 
The creator let fate be, for the current gods can only fall for a new world to rise.
"Ambrosia that would bring a transgressor due enlightenment and a savior," Jeonghan continues with a dark chuckle, "or a god to their knees. All for this sinful, perfect little cunt."
Moan after moan leaves your mouth, shamefulness long gone the minute the god saw your spread legs, and his azure eyes were immediately drawn to what was in between them. His cock continued its brutal assault, pistoning in and out of what he deemed the world's finest treasure.
"But no one will ever get a taste of this one. It's mine. Mine!"
His slender fingers wrap around the back of your neck. Surprisingly, he lifts your head up gently — just enough for you to nod your head at his growl of "Isn't that right?", though when only more drool drips out of your mouth, Jeonghan shakes your head roughly in a "yes" motion.
"I could break you," he hisses as if he hasn't already nearly done so. "You are as fragile as a blade of grass in my hands." Another harsh slap lands on your backside. "Yet so resilient to my wrath, this hole of yours is always so welcoming. Why?"
Yours, yours, yours.
Jeonghan agrees with a feral growl, one not of this realm. Like a sounding bell and beckoning call from the vast unknown, it sends a vision flashing across your eyes. The sun freezes in the sky with its brilliant, harsh glow yet the world turns eerily cold and not into dust and ashes as expected. Then the sky turns black, a terrifying darkness, and a howling moan of despair. 
The moon joins its counterpart like two eyes glaring at the universe. They shudder in tandem, vibrating at a shaking frequency until you realize. They are staring right at you, unwavering. Like a face. Like a reflection.
A crash and a boom and a roar — then you're coming undone on Jeonghan's cock for an unbelievable amount and length of time. Shuddering as the world falls apart inside your brain, screaming and writhing though not quite in actual pain as the god kindly fucks you through your climax.
"Turn you into one of us, then you would no longer have such a weak mortal body. But even that's not possible… unless it's the creator. Perhaps even then…"
You don't register his words and maybe it's good you don't. He refuses to bare the heart he doesn't have. An ultimate weakness. Not like his foolish brothers. 
And yet…
While waiting for the shaking of your body to subside, his hands ghost over your form as if to ease the trembling. Listening to your heart rate until it no longer beats as crazily as you find rest in lean arms that cradle your body without sexual intention for the first time since the god's descent. After placing your weary body in the fountain, you're soon lulled into a dreamless doze by the soothing lap of the tiniest of waves against your skin and Jeonghan's gentle caresses.
You awaken much later. Feeling a lot more refreshed by some well-deserved rest and your innate healing powers aided by the holy spring's rejuvenation. Flowers in varying shades matching the luminescent color of Jeonghan's eyes litter the bed. Surrounding you with the same sweet scent when in his embrace. Picking one up, you thumb at glossy petals that remind you of the god's silken hair and smooth skin. 
Truly a symbol of his likeness.
"Priestess."
Your head jerks up when the subject of your thoughts silently materializes. A scratchy throat turns even drier and makes it hard to swallow upon spying a glint of silver pinning up Jeonghan's long locks. Another symbol — this one of the god's chilling wrath — is a spear disguised as a fragile hairpin. 
Carved from the bones of an ancient beast slayed by a hero of legends, the shining spear was crafted and embellished by the hands of a talented blacksmith gifted it in the name of his fellow brother and deity. The one that stands before you now, Jeonghan, the god of mischief. 
Tales of the legendary weapon thrown from his slender fingers and whistling through the battlefields to mercilessly strike down foes and enemies alike are documented on ancient scrolls in the oracle's grand library. As the only other one with access to such rare treasures, you'd poured over the delicate artifacts for days to learn more about the god you serve, eyeing the tiny circlet that hangs around his neck, certain it's the powerful aegis that supposedly wields the ability to turn those into stone.
"Drink." A chalice disrupts your view of the god and you take it, grateful at least for something to soothe how parched you feel. If he even notices your anxiety, he stays quiet and sits on the edge of the bed. Playing with a flower stem until you finish, the representative plant somehow looks both foreign yet perfect in his hands. "You saw something, didn't you?"
"Some sort of vision. One that was quite… frightening." 
"Describe it to me."
"Th-the gods. I think, my goodness, I am certain that they were at war."
As you explain in greater detail, weaving your tale of the bleak sun into it, Jeonghan's sapphire irises grow darker. Colder. By the time you've finished, the stem he'd been twirling in his hands has snapped in half and you no longer dare to look him in the eye even when he hums.
"The sun… hm? How interesting."
"Yes." 
You nod knowingly, and he lets out a dramatic sigh. There's a shing! noise and the god stands, a visible aura radiating around his form as the fearful spear elongates, revealing itself. It looks less deadly than described in stories, though you suppose no one who has been pierced by its shaft has lived to tell the story of its killing nature. Delicate and thin with a beautiful glow around it in this peaceful moment. But you know better than to trust what the eye — even one as perceptive as yours — can see and shudder.
"Is it the holy war you fear? Doubt that you'll receive a divine blessing of protection?"
A wry smile graces your lips. "I don't need to worry about being protected. It is my duty to defend the temple no matter what."
Jeonghan snickers, remembering the sharpened tip that almost grazed him. Caught off guard on his first visit when a priestess greeted him with a nocked arrow rather than a subservient bow of respect. And who knew he'd end up bedding that very same priestess, addicted to your body and all that it offered him. 
"Nothing will strip away the divine barrier encasing us so easily," you also point out and he nods, eyes lifting to the sky displayed through the high, open arches of your sleeping quarters. 
"I suppose you're correct. Though I do not know if you'd be able to fend off all my brothers…" The god lets out an undignified snort. "I do not believe they are planning an uprising so I must see what this vision of yours could be about." Jeonghan stretches, sending a lazy grin your way. "Do you trust me?"
You think back to gentle touches after a rough session. Whispers of sweet nothings and meaningless pledges when he thought you had drifted asleep. Waking up clothed in gossamer silk — a gift each time — and various reminders of his touch in the aches of your body that had yet to recover, visual ones scattered about the bed you rested upon each time. 
You recall what your purpose is. The oath you must uphold is proven by your namesake. Your destiny. And more. It is something you cannot forget. Ever.
"Of course," you assure him and Jeonghan laughs carefreely. Like he can't believe your faith in him himself. Neither can you.
He shakes his head, strands of hair shining like gold threads. Taking the chalice from you and lifting your freed hand to place a chaste yet flirty kiss to your knuckles. "Don't forget about me, my priestess. I'll return soon."
Another empty promise. Though you don't refute, playing along with his teasing remarks of you welcoming him back with open legs. Bidding the god a rather casual farewell before he disappears — but not with a wink followed by a bright flash and loud thunderclap.
Once you've sensed his presence is truly gone, you rise from the bed. A lyre sits in the corner and you run your fingers melodically across the taut strings while refining your appearance. You have a job to do after all.
The shrill cry of a raven draws your gaze to the open window where the black bird lands. It hops around, tilting its head curiously and rustling feathers expectantly. You smile, laying out a collection of gems on the ledge for it to inspect and play with. Summoning the maidens of Yoon, you speak to your confidante, stroking its midnight plumage while waiting for them to make the journey up to your chambers.
"Foolish gods, always underestimating. Jeonghan may have forgotten… everyone must have cast it from their minds." Your avian companion lets out a low croaking noise, nuzzling your palm with its beak as if to comfort. "But I… I will never forget." 
Do not. Forget.
Don't you. Dare. Forget
"I won't. I can't."
The voices in your head would never let you. And they will only get louder as time marches on, especially without Jeonghan by your side. But that is neither here nor there. You can't do anything about it except the one thing you — and only you — can do. 
By the time the eldest maiden has ascended the steps, you are alone again. Dressed in the purest of white robes and not a hair, jewel, or garment out of place. There are no black feathers, radiant jewels, or azure petals found in the humble and barren chambers of the high priestess. Just you, with your hands clasped together, and a fixed smile on your face.
"It is time." None of them notice the empty look in your eyes as they bow before you, heeding the declaration that comes from your lips. "It is time to spread the prophecy to the world. The real one."
"Yes, Mother," comes the obedient chorus.
The young women's eyes remain cast downward out of respect and the ambience of power emanating from you. For though they loyally represent the god of mischief, there could be no higher honor than serving a greater goddess such as yourself.
Jeonghan is clever. Wily. Smarter than he lets on which can be a true asset to those unsuspecting. But by no means is he ambitious. He is young too, and though the shell you reside in was destined to be his high priestess, the ancient bind to your soul has a stronger pull.
"He is coming," you murmur to yourself as the maidens set about the command you've ordered.
There's a warm glow bursting from the horizon, a fiery heat swathed in a tender caress making those erratic flames calmer. Softer. You're accustomed to what should be a sweltering wrath full of rage and the indicative hint to the tempered nature makes you smile. But the fuzzy feelings are tainted by a bitter tang of what is to come after the god of the sun's visit.
And so you prepare yourself for Seokmin to bring his eager request in your private chambers, stroking the head of your elusive feathered companion at your side while you wait. Watching as the sun rises higher and higher and an auburn-haired figure makes his way closer and closer.
Meanwhile, a flaxen-haired god's grip might nearly snap the spear he's holding in half. He stares at his eldest brother, aghast.
"You're lying."
"I am many things, Han, but I am not a liar."
"Brother —"
The king of the gods holds up a hand. "You don't have to believe me but it is the truth."
And though Jeonghan wants to fervently deny it, the dragged-down weight of his mortal shell's bones fight against what his godly head refuses to acknowledge.
He's brought back to what he was envisioning while bored out of his mind at his brother's lengthy counsel session. You — touching yourself, needy and forlorn without him there to fill you up — and him — returning to find such a scene and punishing you in the most salacious way possible.
But it's warped by his prophetic powers, proving his brother to be correct. Instead, you call him to bed and of course he follows, seduced by the way your body moves and everything else he wouldn't dare admit. And just as he finishes painting the inside of your cunt with all that he's worth and more, heavily spent from the throes of passion — you strike. Like a cobra lying in wait for its prey.
"Why?" is what he pathetically says as golden ichor drips from the corner of his mouth. The dagger you'd struck into his chest hurting a lot less than the actual damage truly dealt to what no human should ever be able to touch — his heart.
Blinking out of the painful vision, Jeonghan scowls at his brother. "You didn't know we've had an enraged primordial goddess on our hands?"
"Don't turn this on me when you've been fraternizing with said goddess."
Just as he's about to retort, the sudden darkness below the heaven's distracts both gods. The sun slips from the skies and a wail of grief so loud and chilling echoes, the harkening sign to the beginning of an apocalypse. The end. And for the first time ever, they feel a rush of emotion they've never felt in their whole immortal lifespan.
Fear.
As if that's not the worst of it all, he hears your voice. You're slyly drawing on that mental connection between the two of you, so that the phrase can be heard so crystal clear that his knees almost give out at the damnation you've orchestrated.
"And so… let the gods pay as they fall."
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onlyseokmins: September 2024 ©
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eloquentlytired · 2 months ago
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the survivor - chapter one
pairing: the winter soldier x fem winter soldier! reader
MDNI, NSFW WORK
word count: 600 words
summary: you're left to die with no recollection of your past life and what has precisely happened to you. when the last spark of hope fades within you, he appears. in the end all you remember are four words; james,autumn,winter soldier and hydra.
fic warnings: this will be a dark fic ! contains elements of human experimentation, violence, blood, dub con, torture, toxic behaviors, trauma and imprisonment.
*no warnings for this chapter though
author's note: hi !! i just felt extremely possessed to complete this winter soldier fic from my drafts so it happened... I hope you're as excited as I am bc i've been cooking this for a while now! as always likes, reblogs and comments are highly appreciated ^_^ also I used google translate for the last part, I hope its properly translated :(...
chapter two is out
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They say that there’s a chance of enhancement in a person’s hearing ability after they’ve lived in the dark for at least a week.  You wonder if that same enhancement applies to you, or maybe more, since you’ve been in this dark underground tunnel for a little more than seven days. The sound of fallen droplets from the pipe that’s broken on your left, the tittering of mice in the straight distance, the air howling somewhere on your right – there’s probably a passage where the air is coming through. You would’ve escaped if not for the chains bound around your wrists, which are conveniently attached to the ceiling, leaving you in aching pain. You can barely feel your fingers anymore let alone your feet which barely graze the floor because of how high they’ve put you.
There’s water, dirty sewer water, but even that seems appealing because of how dehydrated and hungry you are. If you were a human, you would’ve probably died already but Hydra had made sure to extend your suffering by ejecting that serum in you.
You remembered that cruel voice speaking to you as they were hanging you up there, like a sheep for slaughter. “I had so much hope for you. So many expectations. It was supposed to work – you were supposed to work. But it’s fine. At least I have James.” James. You remembered the unknown name. Who was he? Why had he succeeded when you hadn’t? How? What were you?
You could feel yourself struggling against your restraints and the faceless men around you seemed scared as the ceiling cracked over you. You were strong but only for a few seconds. A scream rippled through you when an injection was forced into the tender skin of your thigh. That strange man laughed and spoke again. “Let’s see how long it’ll take for the poison to kill you, winter soldier.” And then you were left alone.
You can feel your eyes closing in again and as hard as you try to fight it, it just doesn’t feel right. The hunger forces you to pass out not just sleep. You abandon the surrounding darkness of your reality just to slip into the one of your slumber.
The screeching of a door opening, and closing does not awake you. The heavy footsteps against the dirty water doesn’t either. The wind howls as if to warn you but you’re not even conscious – not until cool metal surrounds the area of your jaw and grips tight. Your eyes shoot wide because there’s still fight left in you even when you look nearly dead. Your vision is blurry, but you can see enough; dark hair, a black mask and the metal arm that’s currently gripping your face. Blue eyes examine you and you cannot understand the feeling – or intent – behind them. You want to sleep again and let yourself go but the metal arm slaps you sharply, making your eyes go wide. The impact is painful and hard but a pain like this one cannot be compared to the past torture you’ve been submitted to. Your vision is clearer now and what you face is beyond your comprehension.
The chain loosens around your wrists with a single snap and just when you expect to sink into the dirty water, you fall against your savior’s chest. It’s solid but somehow also soft. That strong metal arm, along with his other normal one, picks you up easily. You can’t even protest because of how numb your arms and legs feel; they don’t even hurt anymore. You just can’t feel them. It takes a while for you to realize that you can finally see and that you do not live in the dark anymore – oh gods, you can see. But it is difficult to do or react anyway in your frail condition. There’s pressure on your head, a light one, and you realize whoever has saved you is also stroking your hair. You look at him. He looks back.
You can’t speak but he can. And when he does, your entire being shakes.
“Я наконец нашел тебя. Mоя осень.” I have finally found you. My autumn.
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twst-drabbles · 2 months ago
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Malleus 17
Summary: Most of Malleus’s day is spent zoning out while bathing in sunlight. It’s always fun to see his little lizard brain occasionally spark up an idea.
(I used to have pet lizards. Loved the way their eyes convey the absolute emptiness going on in their brain.)
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Malleus hasn’t blinked for the past hour. He just sits there, on the window sill, face turned towards the sunlight as he stared into the lush yard outside. From a certain angle, he almost looks forlorn, like a doll abandoned by the side of the road.
If Sebek was here, he’d certainly be fretting around Malleus, trying to snap him out whatever trance he was caught up in. And Silver would whisper his concerns into your ear, hoping you’d give him ideas as to what’s wrong with Malleus despite being his owner for longer. And Lilia, cute bat Lilia, he’d be trying to goad Malleus into playing a flying game with him just to get him moving.
You walked over, leaned against the window sill, and poked Malleus on the forehead. He didn’t so much as twitch, his eyes remain unblinking. You pushed your finger against his head and watched as he practically became a wobble doll. You let go and Malleus still body rocked back and forth until he was stable again.
Malleus was still staring off into the distance.
You snorted. “Not a thought behind those eyes, huh? Empty-headed little critter.”
Bathing in sunlight always does this to him, like the warmth of sun soothed all the chaos in his head into nothingness.
There’s nothing wrong with him, Malleus was just zoning out for the moment. He’ll be back online in a moment. It’s always entertaining to hear the way Silver describes him, like this little pet was some always caught up in some grand and mysterious scheme. A magical genius so smart that his thoughts escape everyone’s comprehension.
That’s not quite it thought. Malleus is Malleus, and he’s more the kind of pet to get stuck on one particular thought or subject for weeks on end. All pets have different phases and routines, and long-living fae pets such as Malleus were no exception. He’s just slower to get to the next phase.
You opened the window. The wind gently blew right past the both of you, guiding the falling leaves and gently caressing your curtains. You took a deep breath in, and sighed it out.
Suddenly, Malleus’s eyes snapped wide open, back stiff and wings jittery. Energetic, excited about something.
“Oh?” You lowered your head. “Did you get an idea?” Are the gears finally turning again in his brain.
You scratched at his soft belly scales and laughed when he practically launched himself out of your hand. He was practically a rocket as he shot out the window, barely more than a blur as he flew in a pattern only he knew.
This month’s obsession seems to be dizzying flight patterns. All because Malleus witnessed Lilia’s flying right after he finished eating some of Crowley’s fermented peaches.
After a round of unsteady figure eights, Malleus finished with a belly flop on the grass, as Lilia did before. He got up, cleaned himself off, and fly once more. He’s nothing if not determined, that’s for sure. Still, it’s hilarious that he spent the entire day zoning out at your house.
Sure, you were a little concerned when he first did it, but you figured it out soon enough. You did as you usually do and let the pets do their own thing.
Maybe that’s why Malleus likes to come over here often. You’ve never been much of a person that fusses. Unless they’re putting themselves in active danger, you’re not going to bother them every single second of their life.
Well, whatever the reason may be, it’s still made clear that your house is a place to zone out in. You know you do that often. And, you will admit, you love the way Malleus's eyes go all empty like that.
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