#lol keep crying because you feel called out
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Waiting Room | Happiness Series
a/n: yes, iâm posting twice in the same month! crazy lol (always thanking my lovely @as-is-above-so-below for editing)
warnings: mentions of kidnapping, medical stuff, injuries, simon spiraling
The ICU is bare at this time of night. There are no alarms for nurses to attend to, and the lights are dimmed. The doors shut, and meal trays were taken away hours ago. Triangle lights above the doors are filled in with red or green lights. The only sound in the corridor is of boots thumping against the floor.
Calloused hands gripped the nurseâs counter. Your name prattled quickly off his tongue with a question of where you were. A room named off, and he was already out of sight, running and escaping the nurse calling him to come back. When he reached your room, his hand didnât tremble as it did the whole way to the hospital. He calmly and slowly pushed the door open.
All he saw was no bed, and John Price sitting on the couch below the window, hunched over and murmuring into the phone against his ear. He looked up and ended the call, standing quickly to walk towards him.
âSimon-â
âWhere is she?â
âStill in surgery.â
âWhat the fuck happened?â
Price stiffened slightly, and the air between them suddenly stifled. Simonâs dry eyes stared him down, and Price could feel his failure crushing him. He promised to keep them safe and sound, yet here they were, barely thirty minutes into emergency surgery before your husband arrived.
âAccording to Laswell, she made them take Winnie to the parkâher and Roach. She was home with Mel and König when they were ambushed.hey shot him, and took the girls.â He looked down at his phone, then pulled up the pictures of the damage to his front entranceâshowing them to Simon. ââŠYour father took them to a cabin in the Lakes District witht he intention of selling her and Melody to traffickers, in a bid to exploit you for money.â
His heart began to race, hard, like a hammer against museum glass. Shattering it into his ribcage, the thumps of his lungs against his liver and spine like an out-of-control wave.
âShe escaped with Melody, and uh⊠well.â Price swiped, and Simon was met with a caved-in face. But, he picked out the silvery scars on his fatherâs forehead from when he beat him himself, many years ago. âShe beat the shit out of him.â
âIs he dead?â
âHe is.â
Pride would be the word he was looking for, if not for how intense the injuries were to his fatherâs face. Your hands must be mush. âGood.â
âShe was found in a valley. She tucked Melody in a dense fir tree; she has some scrapes and bruises, and was freezing to the touch, but we found her. She was calling for your wife.â Price slid the phone into his pocket, settling back on his heels. âOnly reason we found them was because she was crying. Sheâs upstairs in the NICU; Laswell and Roach are there with Winnie, whenever youâre ready to see them.â
âOkay.â
Yet, he made no hurry to move from his spot, hovering in the center of the near-empty ICU room, the space left for your bed, the machines that would be attached to you, and the fear that would radiate off of you and permeate the silence like no other sound. Could he leave this spot to check on his children? Could he escape the betrayal he indirectly caused when he failed to protect you? Would he be able to pretend that he isnât full of rage for his superiors, barring him from keeping his promise? But, should he be able to stay upset with Price, his closest friend, in finding and saving his wife and child?
Could, would, should. All words with no meaning without action.
Simonâs eyes met Johnâs, and a brief silence fell upon them.
âGo see the girls, Simon.â
There wasnât even a moment of hesitation, âI canât.â
John didnât even breathe before speaking again, âThen stay. I will go sit with them.â He quickly ushered Simon into the chair he had occupied only moments before. Simon practically collapsed into it. His head in his hands, heart torn into shreds of silken fabric, drowning in a sea of despair. The thin plastic chair would do nothing to soothe his aching bones, his body a fresh arrival from London to base an hour ago. Never did he imagine he would have to rush home, in the midst of a panic attack over losing you the way he lost Grace, losing another unborn baby, and his infant. He didnât dare pretend like he could hold this weight, the fear, the panic, the imagination of the sound of your screams.
There, in the white chair after thirty-six hours of being awake, he watched John leave him alone. And there, leaned over his knees, he let out whimpers that sounded much like the ones that escaped him as a child.
He didnât wake again until he heard a collection of clicking. His arms tightened across his chest as he heard footsteps fade away. He rolled his head up before opening his eyes - all he saw was the hospital bed, and your figure covered by thick blankets, nodes pressed onto your forehead like thorns on a rose, a breathing tube taped to your chapped lips, and a level of calm on your face that heâd seen only a few times. The sound of the chair screeching across the floor, closer to the bed, closer to the iodine smell that permeated the room from you. His hand slipped under the warming blankets, lifting it to seek out your arm, gazing at the wrapping on your hand before he settled his own on the undamaged skin of your forearm. Covering you again, he silently thanked the nurse for keeping the bed rail tucked away. He leaned forward and settled his head against his arm - listening to the soft wheeze of the breathing machine.
His mind was void of words, but his tongue spoke from the root of his pain, just a gentle, âI failed you.â
In the dim light from above the bed, Simonâs thumb traced warm circles on your lukewarm skin, and he closed his eyes. He couldnât remember before he left for the hospital, couldnât remember the mission, onlyâŠemptiness. An overwhelming urge to vomit ichor into his lap as he sped through red lights. A softened part inside his stone-cold heart rotted, black like tar, gooey and burning every inch of his injured rib cage.
His lungs filling with warm breaths, fighting to ignore the iodine stench only found him asleep again, body hunched over as if to find some solace in protecting you now - when the void of his betrayal burned harsher than the dance of bourbon on his tongue.
Simon doesnât greet your brother, and doesnât dare move his temple from the blanket tucked beside his head, eyes glued to the TV in the dusty corner of the room. Below it hung a whiteboard detailing your name, age, gender, and nurses. Following that was a rotation with the times they would be by for checks, medication, replacing the cold blankets with warm ones, and moving you so bed sores donât grow on your already fragile skin. The BBC show wasnât anything interesting, not his favorite but something to do that wasnât throwing up what little breakfast he had into the trash can.
Heâd been visiting Mellie the morning before, brought in by Price after she was discharged. Her one-day hospital stay was officially over, and he had finally seen her - but guilt nestled in his esophagus as he pressed his nose into her scalp, her little body curled as far as it could into his chest. He would have been a better father to tend to her first, but the thought of losing you was more apocalyptic than he ever imagined. He couldnât leave this room, could barely piss in the bathroom without the door open to keep an eye on you, and barely spoke to anyone who came in; whether it be a nurse or the task force, they were all given silence in exchange for their pleas for him to go home, take a shower, get a fresh set of clothes.
âYou smell like shit, dude.â
Jake, your older brother, moved a chair beside Simon on his right, his hand gently patting your ankle as he sat. Your husband may have snapped at him if he wasn't absent from his mind. Simon was nestled in a deep corner of his consciousness, only pretending to be human for his friends and children as he rotted beside you.
He didnât answer his brother-in-law, eyes flickering from character to character on the screen, as if that was a good-enough distraction from his painful thoughts.
âThat Soap guy said you havenât showered in four days. You smell like it, go take a shower.â
Simon huffed out a humorless chuckle. âNot leavinâ her.â
Jake paused for a moment, pensive for just a millisecond. âThe bathroom is right there. Yes, sheâs protected at all times with you here, but sheâs safe when Iâm here too. So go. Iâm sure she wouldnât want to smell your ass when she wakes up.â
âFuck off, Jake.â
âYou have to at least wipe down if Iâm going to sit next to you. You reek.â
âThen donât.â
âNot a chance, bud.â
A gentle but firm hand settled on Simonâs shoulder, and he barely reacted, only a rumble of disapproval from his throat. He wanted to wretch his shoulder backwards, get Jakeâs hand off, scream at him, ask him what makes him think heâs right. Ask what made him think he truly knew the answer to Simonâs mistake, miscalculation, the broken promise that lay like glass at his feet. What makes him think that Simon could accept his help at all?
He wouldâve fought his brother-in-law off if there was any point, but he had been sitting at your bedside for two days straight and you hadnât woken up yet - even when they shined lights in your pupils, checked your wounded hand, adjusted nodes on your forehead, checked the back of your head. So Simon found himself standing, Jakeâs hands ushering him to the bathroom, but he slammed his hand against the door when Jake tried to close it.
âLeave it open. Wanna see her.â
Jake didnât make a sound, just gave an understanding nod. âTry to use the curtain. Iâd like to avoid seeing your dick, and Iâm sure the nurses would appreciate it.â
Simon doesnât even remember keeping the curtain open, getting under the hot spray, and just⊠standing there. The water hit the crown of his head, spilling down and over his face, his chest, his stomach - his body ached from the lowest muscles in his calves to the tenderness nestled in the nape of his neck, yet he could feel nothing in between. No tremor of his lungs, no twitch in his bad knee, no rumble of his heartbeat. Even as the scalding water cascaded over his lips, eyes, and cheeks, he felt nothing. No prick in his eye to cry, as if he had already cried everything out and had nothing left to give.
There was nothing in this hospital room shower, just a shell of a man who wanted nothing more than to switch places with you.
âWhy do you do that?â
âDo what?â
âMess with her hair.â
The wrapping around your head was changed this morning, leaving more of your hair visible, and Jake was combing it with the shitty brush he bought down at the gift shop. âShe always had a thing for her hair to be untangled. It bothered her a lot as a kid.â He set the brush down by your side, his fingers quickly remembering the braiding motion as he continued to speak softly, âLearned how to braid on her dolls so I could braid her hair for her. She didnât like Mom or Dad doing it, only me.â
Simon rested his head on his arm again, watching the morning news. âLooks like shit.â
âIâm out of practice. Like you could do any better.â
âI have two daughters. I can do better.â
Jake could only half chuckle, almost lifeless. For a few moments, the only sounds were the breathing machine, the rustle of your hair, and footsteps approaching the door. Simon raised his head, watching over you like a hawk as the door creaked open; his hackles relaxed instantly as Winnie bounded in, followed by Price, who held Mellie. Simon was quick to sit back, allow his child to climb into his lap, and bury her face in his neck - he cradled Winnie close, kissing her hair and reclining back.
Her hair was in a messy ponytail, curls unruly and Simon felt acidic bile creep up his throat when she started crying.
She couldnât say a word; neither could he, when he truly needed to. He needed to comfort his daughters, tell them that everything would be okay, that the doctors are taking care of Mama. He should be taking accountability with his children for failing to uphold his promises, yet, he kept his lips pressed to his eldestâs hair. His hand rubbed light circles on her shoulder blade, his eyes flickering to his brother-in-law and then his brother-in-arms. His infant was curled identically into Priceâs chest, her little fists grabbing at the worn Metallica shirt, curls finger-brushed, onesie covered by a thick coat. Simonâs eyes fell back to you, the braid settled against your shoulder as Jake moved to the side, gently rubbing your bicep for a moment.
âYou know, itâs been a long time since Iâve been able to take care of her hair,â Jake mumbled. Simon didnât miss the tears that rimmed the manâs eyes.
Simon didnât make a sound, listening to his daughterâs sniffling as Price spoke, âSheâs been taking care of everyone but herself, and we will keep taking care of her.â
Winnie whimpered; Simon kissed her hair again, keeping her close for as long as sheâd let him.
12:39 am. Simon could barely make the time out from across the room. The heel of his hand rubbed into his eye, and he flipped up his phone, squinting to see the date. Four days. Four days since you were rushed here, four days since he hasnât left you alone. A sigh settled deep in his bones as he let his phone fall, his tingling hand gently rubbing your forearm before he leaned up, wiping his face. He flicked the crust from his eye away, turning to look at you before laying his head down again.
His eyes fluttered closed, his stomach churning just a little before he settled again. His chest weighed like a bell, his heart laying limp in the comfort of his cushioning lungs, his mind wandering, pondering whether he would ever see your eyes again-
He sat up instantly; your eyes were staring at him, wide, almost painful. The look made his stomach roar, his hackles raised, eyebrow furrowed, eyes full of tears and concern.
âSweetheart, itâs me, itâs okay-â
An alarm blared from your heart monitor, and the call button you rapidly pressed with your less injured hand. Simonâs heart clenched as your tears mirrored his, and the sound of you choking on the breathing tube made his stomach acid toss like salad dressing. He stood, and you flinched; he knew what was happening. He scrambled away, found the switch for the blinding overhead light, and flipped it before he moved to you again. The flood of tears in his eyes made it hard to see you recognize him, but you did. You reached for him as the door burst open - making you jerk again, a whine-like cry escaping your throat.
You thought he was Lloyd.
Simon couldnât blame you. He spent years breaking mirrors because he looked like his father, his abuser.
He stumbled back, his wrist to his nose as nurses flooded your bedside, his eyes never leaving you. The nurse closest to him helped remove the breathing tube while the other injected something into your IV, and the last furiously typed on the computer. Simon could only keep himself a few steps away, listening to the sound of your whimpers and watching your weak attempts to move away from the help. His nails met his teeth, the quick already bloodied as he had chewed them down two nights ago. The emptiness in his chest had surged as if it was a flood, knocking his respiratory system around like a ping-pong ball against his ribcage. He couldnât breathe, his heart felt as if it was beating so fast that it would catch fire, the tears leaking into his mouth were like acid.
Of course, you would think heâs Lloyd, the man humorlessly chuckling in his clouded head. Simon looked so much like him that they could be considered brothers, not father and son.
A deep part of him knew this would happen. The one thing Simon fought the hardest to protect was an easy domino to fall, the most direct way to get Simonâs attention, hit him where it could and would hurt the most. Heâs kneeling and bleeding, his heart pouring blood as he has to watch his wife cry out when a nurse even grazes her skin.
Simon would be lying if he said he could handle this.
He doesnât get frustrated with you when you turn your face a little to the left when he brings the spoon to your lips. He put it back into the ceramic bowl as he softly sighed to himself. Youâve barely eaten all morning since they took out the breathing tube, visiting hours are almost starting and Jake would be here, asking a million questions that Simon would need to answer. If the best you could do was five half spoonfuls of broth, it would have to do. He pushed the rolling table away, moving the blankets farther up on your abdomen and tucking it close to your body. Your gaze felt like knives on him, he was barely strong enough to look at your face when the profound sense of guilt only seemed to take his words. He refused to be upset with you when your hand touched his, even though he felt like he needed to rip his skin off.
Your thumb brushed over his bruised knuckles as he kept his hand settled on your hip, staring at the minute gesture that meant so much before, but now⊠felt bitter. Simon would have thrown up again, recognizing the way your comfort now felt painful.
âYou gotta eat more later.â He mumbled, hunched over your bed, wanting to rip his hand from yours but also needing it to stay there. âYou need to sleep too, you have to be tired- Ow!â
He looked up at your face, ignoring the dark bruise on your throat, to see just a little smirk. You had pinched his hand, and he furrowed his brows, confused.
âWas that funny?â
A tiny movement like a nod, and he huffed out a flat laugh. His free hand raised a little, in your vision, before slowly moving to settle on your face. He hovered his thumb along the bruise on your cheekbone, his fingers cradled your jaw like porcelain. Your head only moved into him, eyes never moving from him. He wasnât sure youâd ever be able to look at him like Simon again, after your reaction a couple hours ago. He wouldnât blame you at all if you couldnât. He wouldnât blame you if you left him after this, take the girls and move far, far away from him and everything that came with him - enemies, lies, pain. He wasnât even sure how safe you were now and that killed him, destroyed his sense of safety and replaced it with so much fear.
âMelâŠody.â
Simon snapped back into reality where your eyes were narrowed slightly staring at him, and he instantly answered. âSheâs safe. Just some bruising, sheâs home with Jake and Price and Soap.â
Relief washed over your face, your head settled back on the pillow as your gaze finally moved to the ceiling. Itâs at times like this where he wished he struggled to know what youâre feeling, what youâre thinking. But, he could read you like an open book.
âYou did good,â He spoke, your name escaping like the prayer he needed days ago, âOur baby is safe. Mellieâs okay.â
You pinched him again before you looked back at him, and he let his thumb lightly graze your bruise, you didnât even flinch.
âNew oneâs okay too.â
A whine escaped your throat, tears instantly falling from your face as relief washed over it. He patted your hip.
âYou did good, Mama. Did really fuckinâ good.â
#lethalchiralium#happiness series#lethal chiralium#simon ghost riley#simon riley#call of duty#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x wife!reader#simon riley x female reader#simon riley x f!reader#simon ghost riley x f!reader#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost riley x female reader#simon ghost riley x wife!reader
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âMen prefer curves!!!11!11!!!â
Has only ever been said to me by fat women. Usually after insulting my body by insinuating that I look like a boy, a child, or any other comparison meant to invalidate my femininity. This very long post sums up my thoughts about this âmen prefer curvesâ sentiment.
First of fucking all. These are the same cunts that screech about feminism and âwomen supporting womenâ that are the QUICKEST to police my appearance in the name of appeasing the Straight Male Gazeâą. Which Iâve never given a shit about. Every man on the planet could find me repulsive and Iâd be relieved, not upset. Seems like the same women always preaching online about how happy and beautiful they are care a lot about what hetero men think of them.
Secondly, this is not a âhUmBLe bRaGâ because I, again, genuinely couldnât care less if men find me attractive or not. I have a sixteen inch difference between my waist and hips. I gave up on pants a good 7 years ago. I have a true hourglass figure naturally, regardless of my weight. A wide-ass pelvis which gives me a thigh gap at any weight/size. People are constantly pointing out my ass and how disproportionate it looks to my body. Which I donât appreciate. I donât appreciate any random body related comments. Point is, my body type is what almost anyone with functional eyeballs would call curvy. I have a lower waist-to-hip ratio than BeyoncĂ© for fucks sake.
But apparently my body doesnât count as curvy to these brainless asshats because my body fat percentage isnât high enough (???) As if someoneâs huge gut spilling over their sweatpants, shrouding whatever bone structure they may have underneath is the only thing that counts as âcurvesâ đ
Third, I have been fighting off men with a proverbial stick my whole adulthood and most of my adolescence because of the way I look. Iâm hit on and leered at every time I leave the house. Sometimes I cannot make it to the end of my driveway without strange men pulling over in their cars and rolling down the window to ask for (or demand) my number (I wish I was exaggerating, this happening more than once is what prompted me to put another camera on the side of the house). If Iâm having a particularly irritating day, I wear giant over-the-head earphones and dark sunglasses to discourage suitors from interrupting my day. Sometimes this isnât enough. Boys as young as 12 and men as old as 70 approach me regularly and make comments about my body and proposition me for dates/sex/whatever. Occasionally women approach me to ask for my number too. It might sound really strange but I have spent years dressing down and wishing that I looked more average or invisible. Wishing for a more peaceful life and to be left alone. Iâm not the type of person thatâs ever enjoyed receiving any attention, especially from people I donât know. It makes me anxious and puts me on edge. I want nothing more than to blend into the background and to not stand out.
So obviously when an overweight woman brazenly utters the phrase âmen prefer curvesâ to my face in an attempt to put me down and imply that Iâm unattractive, itâs clearly coming from a place of insecurity. I find it pathetic that so many women operate under the assumption that every woman whoâs not overweight must be taking drastic and dangerous measures to keep thin with the goal of being more attractive to men. Which by the way, I strongly hold the belief that MOST straight men simply prefer whoever has the largest ass and breasts, which typically is overweight women (or surgically enhanced women). So I donât even fully disagree with the underlying message of those words in and of themselves. Itâs the context in which they are said to me which is so backwards itâs laughable.
God, if only they knew how badly I want to be left the fuck alone by men and the general public. To be able to move through life undisturbed. To not be viewed as a piece of meat that lacks autonomy and humanity by both men and women. If I could suddenly overnight put on 100 pounds and be invisible to society, Iâd be crying with joy and relief. I DREAM of the day when Iâm finally considered âoldâ looking enough to no longer be conventionally attractive. Fuck, what a heavenly, PEACEFUL existence that must be. Itâs really not the soul-crushing bingo they think it is to imply that men wonât want to fuck me because Iâm too thin. Itâs just a toxic, vain, contemptuous lashing-out from people who are desperate for male validation.
#I can already hear the comments and reblogs from people calling me arrogant and self absorbed#and accusing me of bragging#and of being a hater#and of being jealous#lol keep crying because you feel called out#feminism amiright#toxic#narcissistic#internalized misogyny#text#personal thoughts#sexism#bullying#anti fat acceptance#anti harassment#stop body shaming#skinny#skinny problems#thin privilege#men like curves
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i would rather live with ana for the rest of my life than binge like this ever again
#rending.txt#i dont know how to stop binging i was doing so well yesterday and then for no reason it fell apart#i just want to stop#i have so much to do today but i just dont want to do anything im so depressed#im just going to lay in bed and eat all day and think up ways to die#i already know my chosen method i just cant be bothered right now so maybe later#i just want to keep sleeping#i called in sick to work today because i was so so tired and i slept i think nearly 12 hours which isnt bad#i wanna go on a walk and work out and stuff but i just. cant right now. i need to work on my job presentation but i just cant#i just want to keep eating and go back to sleep and then wake up and end it#but i just need to make it to therapy tomorrow and maybe itll get better? who knows#i dont even have the energy to walk up to tesco to get blades or more food so im laying im bed eating dry granola like a pathetic pig#i dont wanna talk to anyone but my boyfriend but hes asleep and i dont want to vent to him anymore because it makes me feel guilty#and it doesnt help to vent to him anymore so i just make him sad for no reason and i dont know how to vent to anyone else#i havent changed my bedsheets in weeks and theres so much trash on my floor you can barely walk in my room and i havent showered in a week#i just dont have the heart to cry anymore i just want it to stop#i did everything i was supposed to so i could prevent binges and it didnt work at all so i think im beyond saving lol
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#unfortunately i dont have anything to show you foday#or anything particular to tell you either#so how about you look at this flower i bought at the local store and i think about what to say along the way#actually the employee at the store gave me a discount#every time i buy flowers im forced to participate in human interactions with strangers and remember that we live in a society#i think now that summer is over and the grass is no longer that green and touchable we should buy flowers from time to time to remain sane#i had to take a break from meds for a few days last week and it went rather ok. except i was bawling my eyes out at every given opportunity#you know. there is actually a game that keeps making me cry even when i cant really physically do it#its not really that sad. i would say that the main genre of this game is actually comedy. but the topics raised in dialogues wreck my brain#i dont really feel anything at all while reading the text or anything like that. i dont ecen think about it that much#but every now and then i feel the wetness on my hands and realize i've been crying for a while because of what read there#thats how i cry 99% of the time since the day i was born and i didnt really think anything about it untill now#my psychiatrist told me i have severe problems with dissociation and recognising my own emotions#but a few days ago i was watching some silly local soap opera in the background (im binging this stuff its iconic) & it broke my brain#the raised topics in the series triggered me this much i felt The Painâą. idk how to describe it rather then The Painâą lol#now im back on meds and i dont feel anything at all again. this or my ability to recognise my own emotions just went down to 5% again#sometime i dream of someone who would posses my brain for a few minutes so that they would help me understand what i really feel#or if my reactions to life events are correct. sometimes when i think that i know exactly what i feel i stop myself and recognise#that i dont know nor understand shit#the more i think about it the more materialistic i become#you can always measure something physical. you can touch it or even search every inch of it with a magnifying glass all you want#but you cant measure the feeling#you know its really bizzare that i feel so much attraction towards poetry while having so much trouble with the concept of emotions itself#you can call me pragmatic but im too lenient for that. you can call me lenient but im too pragmatic for that. idk man. im gonna sleep now
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.
#welcome to another installment of: angel spits out all his thoughts about autism cause if he keeps them inside his head will explode#in today's episode: is it possible that my ''panic attacks'' have been autistic meltdowns all this time?#then answer is maybe!#ok so i was watching this youtube video from channel I'm autisticn now what? (check it out it's great!)#and meg was talking about the different types of autistic meltdowns and how they might manifest#and then in the comments people were discussing autistic meltdowns vs panic attacks and how cofused they used to be about them#and that got me thinking... there's a big thing that needs to happen during a panic attack for it to be a panic attack#and that is anxious thoughts... many people talk about fear of death during panic attacks#and that was never my experience. I don't feel like I'm going to die when I have these ''attacks''#they feel painful and like i'm completely out of control but my head is quite clear in that regard#i always thought it was because i don't think dying is like The Worst thing that could happen to me so maybe that was why#and it never ocurred to me that it could be an autistic meltdown because i always saw those as ''little boy hits his head against the wall'#(horrible i know) but it's more than that! (plus i sadly started self harming when the ''attack'' is too bad so not i fit that idea lol)#it's the uncontrollable crying. the throwing anything you have at hand across the room. the not being able to utter words#(other than ''no'' in my case) it's the complete lack of control#and that fits so much more to what i experience! i even related to meg's personal anecdote about a meltdown she had as a child#being separated from my mom made me go into full panic modes as a kid and that was seen as a tantrum but it was more than that to me!#and as an added bonus the only therapist i've ever seen in my life used to call my panic attacks ''pseudo-panic attacks''#because even she felt it didn't quite fit in the description (not that she was a good therapist so i can't put her as an example lol)#but anyways... yeah every day that goes by i'm more and more convinced I am autistic and it scares me to fucking death#because of the way my mom reacted when i first raised the question. so yeah this is for nothing lol nothing will change in my life#ÂŻ\_(ă)_/ÂŻ#angel talks#personal
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took a bunch of clothes to my mom's to wash them since my washing machine is still down and she said 'ill do it dw about it' and threw my favourite white top in with the colours. i no longer have a favourite white top :)
#and i cant even be mad at her because her husband is dead#lol and lmao#anyway the top is now the ugliest greyish minty colour and it looks horrible#normally i wouldnt mind. like there were two white tops and the other also got dyed and idc#but this one had a more unique idc shape? whatever you call that. and it was one of the very few crop tops#that really made me feel good about my body. like not even 'ok i guess i dont look like something that crawled out of a garbage bin'#but genuinely 'good'#and it feels so stupid to be this upset over such a small thing but i feel like ive been at the very limit for the last few days#with everyone fucking crying around me#that this genuinely feels like a tragedy to me rn lol#anyway im being nice and i keep saying its no big deal and nvm but ig you can see that im upset#so now SHE'S mad that I'M mad even tho im not even being a bitch about it im just Sad lol#kms#anyway i feel like shit and it all feels so overwhelming and to think that ill have to spend the long weekend in may here too#my dad and his gf will be at my place in wrocĆaw going to concerts cause there's some sort of festival#all my friends will be chilling and having fun#and i cant even go to prague or vice versa because ill have to be here. having the time of my life with my mother and my grandpa#losing my mind and getting panick attacks in the bathroom lol
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Iâm not crying, Iâm just oozing because of the mould!
#like Iâve got energy to cry#lol but seriously my home is so mould infested - all these old English places are I guess#or so Iâve been told?#anyways Iâm almost crying because no matter how shit life feels right now#I know thereâs people who really care abt my well-being lol like WHY#Iâm thinking of getting what happened to me off my chest to one of them#but since itâs such a heavy topic to bring up no matter how good a friend they are#Iïżœïżœïżœm kinda scared of putting all that on them#but itâs not exactly healthy for ME to keep my incident hidden - ik people will try and help!#I mean. the pharmacist was hugging me ffs! and encouraged me to go to the police but she said that was my decision#but even my coworker! emailing me saying to call or message if I needed anything since Iâve been out of sorts!#plus I got a callback for a role Iâm in love with!#so I know that Life doesnât suck - just this one part of it#in the ceviche of Life this bit is the not-so-fresh cilantro#in the pasty of Life this is the burnt crust#what happened to me last week is still something thatâs been weighing heavy on me but Iâve been choosing to believe it never happened#ya know like a healthy person lol#I couldnât sleep in my own bed for a week lmao#so I slept on my couch which is a two seater and I am 6â so it ainât been comfy#itâs just reassuring to know that there ARE people who care and who DO want to help you without secret motives or something#believing people is something Iâm trying out#and sure it got me into my incident last week but on the whole? I want to believe 40% of people DO have your best interests at heart#not all people are selfish monsters <3#plus how can I mope?! I MIGHT have just landed a MASSIVE film role!!!#if I get famous (lol) Iâll never put myself on main or this side; Iâll make an anti-me blog lol#idk itâs a weird feeling. but at least I feel Iâm control#this is the third Incident Iâve had so idk. better at focusing on what needs doing? I survived thatâs all that matters#like my mum always said: youâre only a victim if you think youâre a victim. otherwise youâre a survivor (or something like that I canât#quite remember her words EXACTLY but something on those lines) ANYWAYS!#im gonna maybe be in a film!! AAAAH!!!!! focusing on that makes me so FUCKing happy!
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Me when they are the sisters ever: đđđ They came out soooo freaking well. I wonât lie, they took me a thousand years to finish but through the constant support from all of my buds (and my latent bisexuality), we made it đ€
Hopefully you guys know the deal by now: design choices, easter eggs, and (NEW!) closeup shots below the read more. âŹïž
I wanted Ace to have a very down-to-earth vibe and looked at Aussie beach-girls, coastal cowgirls, and vaqueras for reference. (IDK, Iâve just always envisioned Ace as part-Australianđș and Mexican đŽââ ïž) Her clothing choices are mostly natural or utilitarian materials like the painted wooden beads on her top, her woven fabric and leather belts, and her denim jumpsuit. I gave her bikini top a zen-garden kind of feel because I read the first Aceâs Story Novel and I loved how idyllic and peaceful they made Sixis Island sound so I wanted to invoke that in some way.
Speaking of her painted wooden beads, they hang off the back of her top and represent her connection to Sabo and Luffy. They watch her back once she sets sail. She only wears one red glass bead earring because the other one got ripped out of her ear when a child, leaving her earlobe torn (donât think about it too much đą). Also, YES! she does wear a hibiscus flower just like Rouge (because I hate you and I want to make you cry, muhwahahahaha).
Also, I really wanted her to have super textured curly hair that licks behind her like flames. I am always considering whether or not a character should have long hair or not because I donât want it to be a hindrance if theyâre in a fight (or if they ARE a fighter with long hair, how to they avoid an enemy making use of that?). Ace is, of course, a Logia-type Devil Fruit User so I think she wouldnât have trouble with people grabbing it LOL I get the feeling that she doesnât take very good care of it even though it looks amazing. Like youâd think it would be soft and bouncy just by looking at it but if you ever get the chance to run your fingers through it, itâs a total ratâs nest and thereâs sand and food all up in it. She still falls asleep while eating đ but she tries her best to only do it around people she can trust (woman moment đ).
Honestly, her design is not that different from Aceâs canon look. It feels really vital to Aceâs character to have a lot of skin showing. And heâs always hanging all over himself with his hips all cocked like the weight of the world is too much to stand up straight. It is certainly not my OWN preference to make her an absolute smoke show. Thatâs just the character, okay? (Iâm partially lying and the proof is that I turned the emblem on Aceâs hat strap into a sternum tattoo for no other reason than that it is sexy af.)
Here are some closeups of Ace:
Now for Sabo, Iâve made her very girly. I tried putting her in pants or something more militant but she told me that sheâd wear the big poofy sleeves and hiked-up ruffled skirt. I think Sabo has always had a strong grasp on his fashion sense and individual flair and I truly believe that his personal style is one of the major influences for the rest of the Revolutionary Army resulting in the very flashy, queer, steampunk aesthetic (aside from Dragonâs plain-ass cloak). So of course I had to implement her nonconformist look when reimagining her as a woman and dress her up to the nines.
Iâve given her very ornate jewelry that is there to tell a story, even if she herself doesnât know it. I like to think she picks up stuff from her travels that resonate with her, such as a damaged set of earrings with one stone missing or red cup-shaped shells featuring three nestled pearls. Another accessory that cannot go unmentioned is her dragon claw hat pin that keeps her top hat resting on top of her hair (and is definitely used as a weapon when the situation simply doesnât call for trusty metal pipe). She also has a veil that obscures her prominent facial scar. I imagine sheâs not very keen on the reminder of the incident from her childhood that took away her memories. I also kept her chipped toothed because 1) itâs fucking adorable and 2) is a visual reminder that she no longer aligns herself with the nobility who would have gotten such a thing fixed. She is so poised in almost every outward facet of her life from her dignified role as the Chief of Staff to the elegant materials in her clothing that it can be easy to forget she was also a rough and tumble forest dweller. Every time Koala remembers this, he lets out the biggest sigh.
Her hair is inspired by Gibson Girls and Elizabeth Swann from the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie. I wanted it to be fussy and tidy but fall apart when sheâs in moments of distress. For example, when she remembers her sisters, her hair starts to look like Aceâs flaming mane. Iâm so in love with her, I think she looks like an adorable little porcelain doll that would fuck you up. I made an effort to keep her eyes a little bit manic. I get lost in her steely black orbs (and also Aceâs warm brown ones, but weâre talking about Sabo rn).
Here are her close-ups:
Plot notes for this AU:
For this series of character designs, I wanted the expressions and outfits to be aligned with the canon plot but I donât know if I have the heart to kill fem!Ace in my AU. Iâm too attached and ASL has suffered enough!!!!! But Aceâs death is also a major defining moment for Luffy so it feels disingenuous to completely avoid it. Also a huge aspect of Saboâs character is carrying on Aceâs will and I have so many thoughts about how the Dressrosa Colosseum scene would play out if they were all women. Oh well, Iâll cross that tragic bridge when I get to it. Iâm definitely going to draw some Modern AU Girl Piece ASL though. They deserve to hang out with no stakes đ They are sisters!!!
Check out the tag âgirl pieceâ on my blog for my other One Piece genderbends! đ„°
#girl piece#one piece#one piece fanart#genderbend#portgas d ace#revolutionary sabo#ace#sabo#fem ace#fem sabo#fire fist ace#flame emperor sabo#asl brothers#asl sisters#op fanart#character design#cowgirl#steampunk#marineford spoilers#dressrosa spoilers#girl piece original design
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"Who's your new teacher?"
Synopsis: Toji meets Megumi's new preschool teacher and immediately develops a crush.
Pairings: single dad! toji x f! reader
Wc: 2.3K
Contains: plenty of fluff, crack, a tiny bit of angst, megumi is four, tsumiki is seven, toji is still toji (but like he's soft for his kids and he takes care of them), reader is a preschool teacher, reader and toji are around the same age, toji being soft, mentions of shiu, shiu and toji work together, shiu being an idiot (lol sorry he'll get love in another fic) , everyone is happy bc I said so
a/n: omg, first fic, we made it! barely proofread, sorry for mistakes. also, tysm for 1,000 followers here! the other two fics that were on that poll will be coming soon!
update: pt 2 here
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Tojiâs Fushiguroâs muscles ache. The job he took was harder than he anticipated, and it took way longer than it was supposed to. After confirming that the payment from the job is in his account, he calls Shiu Kong so he could check in on the kids. âAbout damn time,â Shiu scoffs when the line connects. âI was beginning to think I wouldnât hear from you until sunrise.âÂ
âJobâs done,â Toji says as he gets into his car, settling into the driversâ seat with an exhausted sigh. âI hear the TV in the background. Better be cartoons or something age-appropriate.âÂ
Shiu laughs. âOf course, what else? âM not getting cussed out by you. Anyway, you cominâ back with Megumi? Canât believe you took him on the job with you. Once youâre back, I can get out of here.âÂ
Tojiâs heart nearly stops. He sits up in his seat, gripping the phone so hard that the screen nearly cracks from his strength. âThe fuck did you just say?âÂ
âHuh?âÂ
âMegumi isnât with you?!â Tojiâs voice booms in the car. On the other line, he hears Shiu gulp. âI⊠I thought he was with you.âÂ
âYou idiot! I asked you to pick him up from preschool around the same time you pick up Tsumiki from her school because I knew this would take a while!âÂ
âYou did?!â Shiu asks, and then it goes quiet; him more than likely flipping through his messages to double check. â...Shit,â he breathes out.Â
Toji inhales sharply, then exhales shakily in an attempt to calm the rage, and even the fear that pools in his gut. âIf anything has happened to my fucking son, Kong, I will murder you and make your death look like an accident. Keep an eye on Tsumiki.âÂ
âFushiguro, I swear, I-â Toji hangs up before Shiu can explain himself further, then he starts the car.Â
He grips the steering wheel hard, and his breathing picks up as his mind spins with every horrific scenario possible. The preschool closes at six thirty. It was close to nine. He didnât see any missed calls from them. On a normal day, heâd be done before work with plenty of time to pick up his four year-old son, but todayâs job was far more difficult and required more time.Â
The car speeds down the street leading to his destination. Heâs half-expecting to see Megumi sitting outside with his backpack, clinging to his dog plushie and crying. Or worse, heâs not there at all; because this world is full of terrible people, and they wonât hesitate to steal a small, unsupervised boy. His heart aches at the thought, and he shoves it away before he feels the need to throw up. Heâll be okay, he thinks to himself. Everything is going to be fine.Â
â
When Toji arrives at the preschool, he rushedly parks lopsidedly in the lot, then exits the car. His eyes scan the steps leading up to the front, and when he doesnât see Megumi outside, he rushes to the door.Â
He sees a security guard in a booth, and before Toji can even ask any questions, the guard gives him a small smile and nod, pressing a button that unlocks the door to the preschool with a click. Tojiâs shoulders slump in relief. They were expecting him. That meant Megumi is still here and safe.Â
Toji nods back at the guard in thanks, and rushes down the dimly-lit hallway. He sees a light coming from a classroom that still has its door open, and he slows his steps when he hears a child giggling. His child.Â
Then itâs followed up by a beautiful, melodic laugh that makes him stop in his tracks. Itâs a lovely sound; one that his heart skips to, and one that gently rings in his ears even plenty of seconds after it stops.Â
Toji peeks into the classroom to see Megumi comfortably resting in a pillow fort, and you, kneeling beside a lamp and using your hands to make shadow puppets on the wall to entertain him. âAlright,â you say softly as you rearrange your hands and fingers. âWhatâs this one?âÂ
You smile as you watch Megumi hum thoughtfully, and Toji is transfixed by you. Who are you? Where did you come from? Since when did Megumi get a new teacher? Why is your smile so bright and so beautiful that the sun would envy? Why is his heart beating wildly in his chest at the sight of you? Fuck, why is he staring?Â
âOoh!â Megumi gasps as he figures out the animal you made with your hands. âRabbit!âÂ
âCorrect, great job!â You reach forward and give him a high-five. âI think youâll really like this next one,â you say, and Megumi giggles again as he sits up, completely focused and ready to guess. âReady?â You ask, and the boy nods.Â
Toji crosses his arms, quietly leans against the door of the classroom, and watches, unaware of the soft smile that creeps onto his face. When you put your hands in front of the light, and the shape of the animal displays in front of Megumi, he squeals excitedly and stands up. âDoggy!â He shouts with a wide grin and pulls up his favorite dog plushie that he takes with him everywhere, imitating the sounds a dog would make. You break out into laughter, and Toji nearly stops breathing so he can fully take in the sound of it again.
Beautiful, he thinks. Youâre so fucking beautiful.Â
Megumiâs eyes flicker towards the door, and he gasps before running as fast as he can towards Toji. âPapa!âÂ
âHey, Megs.â Toji kneels down, hugs the small boy against his chest before picking him up in his strong arms, sighing in relief as he runs a hand through his dark hair. Heâs okay, and he doesnât look too upset that he was here for this long. âIâm so sorry Iâm late. Are you alright?âÂ
âYeah!â Megumi pulls away, then gestures towards you, who watched the tender reunion with a sweet smile. âMs. [Y/L/N] played so many fun games with me!âÂ
âAw, Iâm so happy you had fun, Megumi.â You take a step closer so youâre standing in front of Toji, slightly lifting your head upward to meet his eyes due to his height. âWe tried calling you, but your phone went straight to voicemail. Megumi said that it does that sometimes. He took a nap earlier, but Iâm sure heâll be sleepy soon after all of those games. I also gave him dinner earlier.âÂ
âThatâs⊠I just-â Toji struggles to find words, especially when you slightly tilt your head to the side and blink slowly. He exhales, then snaps himself out of his daze. âThank you so much,â he says. âAre you new? I swear, Iâm not usually this late.â Great. Megumiâs pretty teacher might think Iâm just the worst parent on this damn planet.Â
You nod. âYes, Iâm new. Today was my first day with this angel,â You use a finger to gently boop Megumiâs nose, and he smiles, shyly burying his face into Tojiâs shoulder, âand the other kids. I figured you mightâve been held up at work or something. Itâs okay. Things happen. Besides, heâs such a well-behaved kid. I didnât mind spending this much time with him.âÂ
Toji places Megumi on the ground, then gently taps his shoulder. âLetâs grab your stuff, okay?â As he helps Megumi pack his backpack, Toji bites back a smile when he sees you watching him out of the corner of his eye. He notes the way you fiddle with your hands and avert your gaze after catching yourself.Â
You walk over to your desk and open a drawer, pulling out three suckers from a sealed jar. Once Megumi had all of his things packed, you kneel before him, handing him the suckers one by one. âHere you go. One for you, one for your sister, and one for your dad. I can tell he works really, really hard.âÂ
Toji doesnât hide his smile this time; it was impossible, especially when Megumi accepts them excitedly. âCandy! Thank you!â He hugs you gently, and you return it, rubbing your hand up and down his back. âYouâre so welcome. Thanks for being so sweet today. You made my first day so fun.âÂ
A muffled gasp coming from outside has the three of you looking towards the window. Toji sees Tsumikiâs face squished against the glass with her usual, excited smile, and Shiu Kong standing beside her, looking relieved when he sees Megumi safe and sound. He purposely avoids Tojiâs glare.Â
The sound of Megumiâs small yawn gets his attention, and Tojiâs gaze softens when the boy rubs his tired eyes. âAw, âm sorry. Itâs past your bedtime. Letâs get you home.â He leans down to pick him up again, and once you have your belongings, the two of you leave the building together.Â
When you three make it outside, you face Toji and Megumi. âIâll see you tomorrow, Megumi,â you say quietly to him, who is slowly beginning to drift off. Then you look up at Toji, who is softly smiling at you. âAnd Iâll see you tomorrow, too, right?â You ask.
âYeah, you will.âÂ
You wave goodbye, and Toji makes sure you get into your car safely. âHey, Megs,â Toji gently shakes Megumi as he watches you drive out of the parking lot. âDo you know her name?âÂ
âMs. [Y/L/N]âÂ
He chuckles. âNo, kid, her first name.âÂ
âI dunno,â Megumi mumbles before closing his eyes and resting his cheek on Tojiâs shoulder. âSleepy, papa.âÂ
âAh, there they are!â Shiu exclaims, and Toji wouldâve thrown a punch if his son wasnât in his arms, and if his seven year-old daughter wasnât happily skipping towards him. âHi, papa!âÂ
âHi, sweets, how was school today?âÂ
âGood,â Tsumiki says, then grins mischievously as she points to the spot where your car was just a minute ago. âYou like her!â She teases. âYou wanna hug her and kiss her and give her chocolates!âÂ
âAlright, you.â Toji rolls his eyes and laughs softly as he uses his free arm to lift up a giggly Tsumiki, then presses a kiss to her forehead. âBoth of you should be in bed. Letâs get home.âÂ
âAw, okay.â Tsumiki then leans forward to gently kiss her sleeping baby brotherâs cheek. âNight, Gumi.âÂ
Toji secures both Tsumiki and Megumi in his car, and then faces Shiu, who is smiling nervously. âWell, look at that. Megumiâs doing great and you even developed a crush. How cute. Allâs well that ends well.âÂ
âVery cute, but guess what?âÂ
âWhat?âÂ
Toji finally throws a swift punch at Shiuâs jaw, greatly holding back his strength so it wouldnât break. Shiu stumbles, then groans, cupping his face with his hands. âOkay, fine, I deserved that.âÂ
âDamn right,â Toji says as he opens the door to the driverâs seat. âSee you later.âÂ
â
Toji almost never stresses about his appearance in the mornings. After all, it was just dropping off the kids. But this morning, he frets over which shirt would look better with the jeans he picked out, if he should wear a different type of cologne, or if he should slick his hair back.Â
All because heâs seeing you again.Â
He decides to skip the new cologne and go for his usual, simple one, dresses in a dark shirt to match the jeans, and also ditches the idea of slicking his hair. Once the kids are ready for the day, he leaves early and goes to a coffee shop to pick up a medium cup of coffee. First, he drops Tsumiki off at school, then he takes Megumi to preschool.Â
Toji spots you almost immediately. You were out in the front amongst the other preschool teachers, parents and their kids, wearing a gorgeous yellow top and simple blue jeans. When you see Toji and Megumi approaching, you pause your conversation with your coworker and walk over to them. Toji decides that he likes that, and that he loves the way you kneel in front of Megumi to meet his eye level, telling him good morning and asking if he was excited for the day.Â
You raise to your feet, Toji hands you the cup of coffee he purchased earlier. âFor you,â he says, âAs a thank you for everything yesterday.âÂ
âAw.â Your eyes light up as you accept the cup. âMr. Fushiguro, thisââÂ
âToji,â he corrects softly, and he ignores the way his heart stutters when your smile grows.Â
âWell, Toji, this is lovely. Thank you so much.âÂ
âI never caught your name last night.âÂ
You tell him your name, and Toji tests it once. From the way you shyly avert your gaze, he can tell you that like the way it sounds in his voice. Megumi clears his throat, and Toji looks down to see him staring up at him, his brow raised in suspicion. âYou never stay this long. Donât you have to go to work?âÂ
Damn, kid. Thought we were on the same team.Â
You laugh as Toji rolls his eyes and sticks his tongue out at Megumiâa gesture that the four year-old returns immediately. âWell, heâs right, gotta get going,â Toji says, looking back up at you. âIâll see you later?âÂ
âYes.â You nod, then point to the warm cup in your hands. âThanks again for the coffee. Have a great day at work.âÂ
âYou too.â Toji then gently ruffles Megumiâs hair. âBe good.âÂ
He doesnât realize how big heâs smiling until heâs back in the car, and he sighs as he remembers Shiuâs words from the night before. A crush. That word seems so silly. Heâs not a teen in high school. Toji looks up just in time to watch you take Megumiâs hand and lead him inside the building with the other children, and he chuckles to himself as he starts the car up.
Maybe âsillyâ was okay when youâre this pretty.
#i love soft toji#toji fushiguro#toji fushigro x reader#toji x reader#jjk#jjk fluff#toji fluff#posts by rey <3#written by rey <3#jujutsu kaisen
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FREE USE WITH MIGUEL? LIKE ANYWHERE ANYTIME?
a/n: YES NONNIE, ANY--FUCKING--TIME. AND HERES ONE OF THOSE TIMES :^) idk if this is free-use or feral!reader or both. anyway, just enjoy it lol. like every time, this got away from me
special thanks to mona (@whatthefishh) for letting me scream this shit to her over discord + for helping me figure out exactly what 'free use' is lol
cw: smut (18+), free use kink, small very small bit of somnophilia (CAN'T ESCAPE IT), non-explicit oral (m-receiving), afab!reader, mentions of ovulation (+ period) horniness, fingering, cockwarming, fucking w/ multiple orgasms, the same Spanish pet name used over and over, reader is basically a bothersome cat, writer is so all over the place it's confusing.
wc: 2.4k (this was supposed to be a quick thot but wtvr)
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miguel is a gracious boyfriend, he practically lives to please you. so when you approach him in the middle of the day with nothing but his shirt draped over your figure, he has a hard time rejecting your advances.
sure, he tries, but every time he gives you what he wants.
you're spoiled, really.
miguel works at home as much as possible. he hates having to leave you before the sun rises, walking away from a perfectly cozy bed and wet cunt (đł).
miguel convinces himself that Spider HQ can survive a day or two without him on site. he has several capable Spiders that do most of the heavy lifting for him and LYLA isn't afraid to take charge, sitting her holographic ass in the boss' chair.
he can set up mission plans and keep track of everything from his laptop, and he's always on call if he is needed for anything. the only issue is that working remotely doesn't work when he can't get anything done.
he's trying to go over notes from a meeting that was held earlier this morning.
he was supposed to be there, but you physically wouldn't let him out of bed. he swears you're a Spider yourself with the strength you have when you're especially needy and sleepy.
he smelled it when he woke up in the middle of the night to you mouthing over his boxers, that decadent sweetness that indicates you're ovulating.
you were desperate to get a taste of him, to fill that unbearable emptiness inside of you, whimpering with relief when you finally feel his fingers bury themselves in your hair to push your further against his bulge.
he learned early in your relationship that your insatiable appetite for him increases tenfold during your window of fertility (don't even mention your period). and so does your need for sleep. so he caters to your needs accordingly.
you passed out after convincing him to fuck the heat out of you, to snuff out the fire until your neediness recedes. apparently, the only time you aren't horny is when you're sleeping (though that isn't true... you wake up horny all the time??).
you've been sleeping soundly ever since, utterly exhausted by his thorough support, but he knows that once you wake up, you'll be crying for him again.
he crawled back into bed with you after telling LYLA to take over for the day, but after a few hours of almost suffocating because of the way you curl up on his chest like a cat, he got up to get some coffee and finish some computer work.
as soon as his warmth left you, you fussed. eyes still closed as you whined and moaned for his body. he shushed you, gently smoothing down your bedhead until you settled.
it didn't last for long.
you padded out of bed with bleary eyes, clearly looking for him when you walked into the living room. he offered you a quick "morning, cariño." before focusing back on his computer. he had to limit as much contact with you as possible if he wanted to finish his work.
just a few more pages and a couple of emails, and then he can give you all the attention you need.
his shirt brushes against your thigh like a summer dress as you make your way through the room.
he looked adorable with his loose white long sleeve on and black dad-glasses. his hair is still curly and fluffed, telling you he wasn't planning on leaving you anytime soon.
you shuffle over to the couch, sitting next to him with a sigh.
he doesn't react.
somehow, the minimal recognition that you're there, his adamant refusal to look at you, turns you on as much as it irritates you.
he's really trying his best to be a good boss, hm? trying to resist a temptation that's barely a foot away from him.
it makes you feel dirty and deprived. you blatantly rub your legs together, urging him to look. your gaze washes over his sharp jawline watching as it clenches at your soft coos.
"...baby."
"'m working, amor." his voice is still soft, despite the efforts he's taking to ignore you.
you huff.
"but--"
"not right now."
you scoot closer to him, strategically allowing the hem of his shirt to ride up on your thighs. so he's really going to make you do it...
you tug at his sleeve, taking his arm away from his work (though it doesn't look like he was working on much at all, he's been sitting on that exact page for 5 minutes now).
"not right now, mi vida..." he protests lightly, but he doesn't move away. he's not even trying, you think.
you smirk at his empty words. you can see the way he's looking at you: your messy hair, bare legs, the shadow of his shirt hiding away your most sensitive spot. his breathing grows heavier and so does his stare.
"i have work--" miguel is always so soft and sweet to you, melting in your hand though he has all the power to stop it.
"please, miguel? just one, for me?" his lips part as you place his hand against your bare thigh, slowly dragging it upwards until it meets your center.
he doesn't take his hand away, doesn't even pull back a single inch, instead, he instantly complies, cupping his warm hand over its entirety. he chokes out a low groan. you're not wearing anything underneath.
"ok, i guess if it's only once..." he whispers, already breathy. he's leaning over you, almost on top of you, forcing your legs to spread impossibly wide.
he watches as his finger rubs against your slick center, spreading your wetness until you're glistening for him under the late morning light. he pushes in slowly, so slowly, eyes flicking up to your face to witness the small o your mouth makes as he presses in deeper.
his mouth waters as he fingers you, he wishes he had enough time to go down on you, and taste your slick straight from the source. he knows how much you love it when he fucks you with his tongue and suckles on your clit. but no, he has work to do. he needs to get you off so he can finally focus.
"this what you needed, cariño?" it's all but growled into your space, his voice low and taunting. all you can do is nod with bleary eyes as your hands grip onto his thick bicep for support.
he adds another finger and thrusts them into you quicker, angling them just so his palm can gently nudge at your clit. he can feel you tightening around him already, fluttering with each pass that he makes against your g spot. he presses harder, drinking in your choked gasp and shaking thighs.
you're so wet, spilling over his fingers and dripping against his hand. the noises between you are deafening. a mixture of sopping thrusts, heavy breathing, and quiet mewls fill the still silence of the living room.
he's so good at this, too good at this.
how can he make you fall apart with just his hands, caress every sensitive nerve with a single stroke?
you're at the cusp of euphoria. your body, filled to the brim with pleasure, urges you to let go, to take what you want. but you don't want to. you want to stay at the edge forever with his hands on you, to be at the center of his affections, always just one breath away from transcendence.
you're not ready for him to stop touching you anytime soon, you realize. you still need it and after you'll need it again. you need him.
his glasses start sliding as he looks down at you, dropping until they're barely at the tip of his nose. he's focused, eyes locked on how he fills you again and again.
his fingers speed up, expertly aiming against that special spot inside of you. your hips rise from the couch, needing him as deep as possible. then it all falls apart.
you cry out, back arching and eyes rolling. your body is barely touching the couch under you and it feels like you're being lifted up by unknown forces as you reach your climax. white fills your vision and heat thrums through your limbs. you can't hide your one orgasm from him, it's too intense.
before you could recover, he slips his fingers out of you.
"alright, honey, we're done." he casually sucks your essence off of his fingers before propping his glasses back to the arch of his nose.
"ok, ok, i get it. you're busy." you pant, still pulsing from your high. and...he's already back to work. he wasn't kidding when he said he had stuff to do. "i'll just...be sitting here."
so you watch him get back to work, or you try to. the incessant scrolling, typing, reading, and muttering thoughts that accompany his work is usually enough to put you to sleep. it's an unusual lullaby that's attached to him. one that brings you the comfort of knowing he's near.
but he's hard.
he seems so relaxed, so content to work, but his erection presses so desperately against his sweats, outlined perfectly by the grey fabric.
so how could you not touch him? he clearly needs your help... and if he doesn't, then you need it.
you want to be good, you do, but when he types so effortlessly like that with the fingers that were just stuffed in your cunt, or when he looks over his dad-glasses to look at something like a hot fucking nerd, you can't help it.
it's been, what, 12 minutes? that's enough work for the day in your opinion.
you start slow, hesitantly, watching to make sure he's not looking at you (though he can clearly see you from his peripheral vision). you stand up on the couch right next to him. you're a bit unstable on the squishy cushions so you use his shoulder for support.
he looks over at you, confused as to why you decided to walk all over the furniture like a toddler.
you carefully maneuver over his arms to settle yourself on his lap. you're a koala around him, holding your torso to his, looping your arms around his neck and sharing your shimmering lustful body heat. he grunts when you scoot even closer to him, your bare pussy pressing entirely against his covered cock.
but he ignores it.
he doesn't say anything, barely even moves, and just continues to work. you pout a bit, but let him. you convince yourself that you're content with just sitting here and enjoying his company (despite the large distraction that pulses against your pussy, pressing so sweetly under your needy clit).
you listen to his steady heartbeat and slow breaths, the occasional sound of tapping keys. you nuzzle against the soft shirt that stretches over his chest. you're fine.
it's not like you're leaking all over his sweatpants, leaving a puddle at the apex of the fabric. you're not crying on the inside, so empty and fluttering around nothing. you're fine.
until you arent.
you lazily lift your hips above his, nearly head-butting his chin in the process. his arms lift to help you get settled, hands resting on your waist, as patient as ever.
you reach below you and he stiffens. he wasn't expecting you to--
your hand buries itself under his sweats, delicate fingers brushing over his erection. he breathes out your name when you squeeze him teasingly before pulling him out.
"what did i say?" he grunts, hand swiftly wrapping around your wrist. the words are lost on your ears as you caress the silky steel in your fist. it pulses at your touch. he needs this.
he says your name once more.
"you're working."
"then why are you trying to fuck me?!"
"i'm only going to sit on it." you give him an innocent look. you slowly lower yourself so your dripping center meets his before sliding your glistening lips over his hardness. "won't move or say a thing, promise!"
"cariño..."
"just wanna warm you, baby." you position him right against your entrance. "is that so wrong?" you lower yourself before he can say anything else.
you take him easily with how wet you are, and he fills you perfectly. he sucks in a breath at the feeling then growls out, "don't move."
well, you do move (is anyone surprised). you move a lot. but he moves too. harsher and more competitive. who the hell fucks competitively?
you moan over him, bouncing on his cock eagerly. his hands hold your waist, guiding your movements just how he likes it: fast and hard. his laptop, somewhere on the other side of the couch, is forgotten and probably long dead by now. so much for working at home.
you've cum at least four times already, but who's keeping count (you're not. you're so fucked out, you have to manually breathe now.)
he won't let up anymore. you asked for it and you're getting it.
"do i gotta fuck you to sleep, hm? is that the only way you'll leave me the fuck alone and let me work?"
you only admit now that you're eyes were definitely bigger than your stomach. you're practically drooling as he takes control once again, snapping his hips from under you, harsh and punishing. as if this is a punishment.
he has to carry you back to bed that afternoon. he couldn't just leave you on the couch, naked and shivering. plus you'd be a distraction with your bruised hips and fucked out cunt.
you murmur adorably in your sleep as your body unconsciously nuzzles further into his arms. he places you lovingly on the bed and you immediately curl up. he sighs, brushing your hair out of your face because he knows how much you hate it when it gets in your eyes or tickles at your nose during the night.
you look so cozy and comfortable. but so alone in this huge bed.
he debates laying down with you, only until you're in a deeper sleep.
maybe just a few minutes?
LYLA had a few choice words when he woke up in the morning....
#anon#miguel o'hara#miguel oâhara#miguel o'hara x reader#miguel oâhara x reader#miguel o'hara smut#atsv#2099
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"Jasper teaching Y/n how to ride him"
I ask, with all the love in my dirty, perverted heart. Fix it.
I ain't even gonna ask anonymously, because you know who it's gonna be.
(A/n: Your wish is my command~ (aka I'm lowkey scared of your wrath))
(Not proofread)
Word Count: 1,832
Summary- It's only fair that the cowboy gets cowgirled (Alternatively: TIME TO EAT, SLUTSđš)
Warnings: Inexperienced reader, Creampie, Jasper calls reader "Darling," "Doll," and "Sugar" (I think there's one more, but I can't be bothered to scroll through and find it.) (It's not a missed warning - It's simply a surprise cunt throbber) (...sorry...)
Age Rating: 18+ Minors DNI
(This specific gif is a lil inside joke, dont worry abt it lol)
Jasper Whitlock x Fem! Reader: Most Dangerous Game
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The kiss breaks with a gasp as Jasper's knee bullies its way between your legs, forcing you on tiptoe. The firm muscle bypasses the fabric of your skirt and presses against your barely clothed pussy in a way that sends your vision swimming. Even through your panties, the rough texture of his pants creates an addictive friction that causes you to chase more - rocking your hips down experimentally rewards you with even more of that coarse deliciousness and pulls a deep moan from you.
He wastes no time as you grind against his thigh, moving his lips to the hollow of your throat, licking and sucking at the area until red blooms across your skin in an intricate pattern of possession. Your hands desperately fumble to grasp anything they can, eventually ending up fisted in his hair. A warning growl rumbles deep in his chest as you tug on the soft blonde strands. Your proximity forces the vibrations through your own chest, weakening your knees.
Jasper presses closer, keeping you upright. His mouth finds its way back to yours as his hand comes up to your neck - fingers pressing into your pulse point as he tilts your head back to deepen the kiss. He eagerly drinks up your sighs as your lips continue to meet in a battle of teeth and tongue; it's becoming less of a kiss as the heat between you increases, but it doesn't matter. Not when you can feel just how hard he is against your stomach.
He all but swallows your keen when he flexes his thigh. Your hips stutter when your clit rubs against the denim; a cry of his name leaves you without thinking at the stimulation. Another, more vicious growl rips through you both as he yanks you away from the wall and walks backwards towards your bed. His lips never leave yours as he falls backwards, pulling you into his lap.
"The things you do to me, Darlin'..." Jasper mumbles into the kiss.
Hands are everywhere- his hair, your jaw, his chest, your ass. Every touch makes as he moves from one place to another sets a trail of fire in its wake.
The new position forces his hard cock to press against you and you can't help but press down harder. The pressure causes your head to drop against his shoulder; causes your jaw to drop as Jasper's hands slip to your hips, rocking you firmly against him.
You can tell he knows exactly when your throbbing cunt pulses out even more slick: you can hear his sharp inhale as it pairs with the way his fingers dip tighter into your flesh.
"I want you to ride me, Doll. Can you do that for me?"
It's only then that your movements halt. Freezing like a deer in headlights, you look at him with your mouth slightly agape. Neither of you are strangers to sex - hell, once Jasper got confident enough to let loose around you, there was a month when you were damn near fucking like rabbits. But of all the ways he's taken you, you've never been the one to be on top.
What if you're bad at it? How would you ever get over that?
"Darling," Jasper's voice cuts through your thoughts, definitely feeling your emotional turmoil. "What's wrong? Talk to me, Sugar." His golden eyes bore into you with a different intensity than before. His once heated gaze now only harbors concern as his thumbs rub gentle circles on your waist.
âIt's nothingâŠâ you mutter moving in to nose at his neck, pressing small kisses along the column in an attempt to bring the mood back.
His grip on you shifts, pulling you back a respectable distance to read your face. âTell me what's wrong, or we're stopping right now, Darlinâ."
Oh. Serious voice⊠As the realization that there's no avoiding voicing your insecurity if you want to get railed - which you do -, your face starts to heat, embarrassment flooding your veins.
Ever the patient man, Jasper waits for you to find the least embarrassing combination of words.
âI've never-â God, your face feels like it could smelt iron right now⊠âI've never rode anyone; I, um, I don't know howâŠâ
Your voice falters to a whisper, but you know he heard you.
A grin starts to cut its way across his face, leaving you to balk. You know he isn't about to laugh in the face of your anxiety right now.
âYou know what- forget I said anything.â you mumble, moving to get up only to be unceremoniously yanked back down.
âWhere do you think you're going, Sugar?â Jasper chuckles, ducking his head to try to meet your gaze.
Ever the avoider, you look to the side, opting to pout about it since you can't storm out to the room all dramatic like you wanted. One of his hands comes up to brush some of your hair you were hiding behind.
âI'll teach you.â
Your eyes snap to his finally as the heat in your face starts to creep down your neck. âWhat?â You choke out.
âI said I'll teach you how to ride,â Jasper says, the humor in his eyes underlined with something darker- hungrier.
Your mouth goes dry from the intensity in them. Gulping, all you can do is nod, words failing you for a different reason this time.
âYeah?â He hums. âMy pretty baby wants to learn to ride me?â
His hands trail down to your skirt, slipping under the hem to trace the elastic of your panties. âWhy don't you take these off, SugarâŠâ
His voice may be gentle, but you know a command when you hear it.
You slide off his lap, standing on shaky legs as you slide the thin fabric down.
âSkirt and shirt too. I want to watch my cock disappear in you while you grind those hips against me.â
You'd be lying if you said that didn't make something sinful twist inside you.
Once all the offending fabric is gone, you take a deep breath. Right now this is nothing new for you. You've been naked in front of Jasper countless times, this is fine.
His eyes never leave you as he works on his jeans - unbuttoning and unzipping them before shoving them down his thighs along with his boxers. He curls two fingers to beckon you closer, other hand leisurely stroking himself, smearing his precum along the shaft.
Settling yourself back in his lap, you slightly fumble, trying to steady yourself. Back in new territory.
âEasyâŠâ Jasper soothes, holding your waist. He stops fisting himself in favor of manhandling you into position.
Your knees are spread to rest just away from his legs, and your hips angled above him by the time he is done adjusting you. One of his hands slips down once more to line up with your slit.
âDrop yourself, Darlinâ. Slowly,â he guides. âOnce the tip is in, roll your hips forward as you move further down.â
And so you do. Steadily, you push yourself down and forward as his cock slips further and further into your waiting quim. Within seconds, your hips meet his and he sits comfortably to the hilt inside you.
âThat's it,â Jasper mumbles, hands lightly stroking your sides. âCan you lift back up and repeat that same motion for me, Sugar?â
âYeahâŠâ you breathe. This isn't hard, you think, lifting yourself up, not hard at all. Your hands steady you against his shoulders as you rock back down.
Jasper's head falls back with a heavy breath through his nose. âFuck.â
You still. Did you already do something wrong? You're only two bounces in- are you really that bad at taking direction?
âYou're doing great, baby, but if you keep clenching around me like that, I'm not gonna last,â Jasper chuckles, gripping your hips to force you to move again.
And just like that, he once again soothes your nerves. Perks of knowing the ins and outs of emotion, you guess.
So, you start your movements again, allowing his hands to go back to simply encouraging you. As you move, you find yourself growing more and more confident - adding in a few circles along with your roll forward, spreading your knees to take him deeper - the noises your experiments draw from Jasper have your eyes slipping shut and your head lolling forward to rest against his cool collar.
As you ride, you can feel to need for more steadily creeping up to you, forcing your hips to move faster, for you to grind your clit against him as you chase your release.
âGoddamn it-â Jasper hisses, burying his nose in your hair as he inhales your scent. âYou're a fucking natural, Darlinâ. Câmon, Sweetness, cum for me.â
A soft whimper falls from your lips at the praise, your face heating as you nuzzle further into him. Your thighs are starting to burn, but the ache in your pussy, the pure need to cum, outweighs any discomfort in your trembling legs as you start to slam yourself harder and more desperately onto his solid length.
You can feel your release. It's right there; dipping in and out of sight in a twisted game of desire, but you'll be damned if you lose.
You clamp down on Jasper, the sudden tightness causing even more of the delicious friction you're craving. The deep rumble that drags from Jasper's chest only pushes you closer, more and more noises drip from your lips as you all but ravage the man beneath you.
âCome on, Darlinâ, give it to me- let me see how pretty you look creamin' all over my cock.â
You hips give a final jerk forward when his thumb meets you clit, the swollen nerves throbbing at the sudden shock of cold. With a sharp cry of his name, you cum.
Your nails dig into his arms as you rock against him, trying to prolong your high as long as possible. Not that you could stop if you wanted to - Jasper's hands are back to forcing your hips down, chasing his own release.
His hips have started to jerk up into you, meeting you movement for movement as he draw closer and closer to his own climax. Rambled praises have started to fall from him as he holds you tight. From mumbling about how beautiful you are sitting atop him, to growling out about how good your pulsing cunt feels.
Just at your limit, right before the stimulation becomes too much, Jasper finally empties himself into your heat. You though his growls before rumbled you, but the absolute animalistic sound that rips out of his chest as he loses himself in you uproots your very being. The knowledge that you can bring such a powerful creature, *the* Apex predator to such euphoria - the fact that such a magnificent being has allowed you to share in this game - has you shuddering in his hold.
The world's most dangerous game. And you've won.
#jasper hale smut#jasper whitlock smut#jasper hale x reader#jasper whitlock x reader#jasper cullen x reader#jasper hale x reader smut
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I think it would be cool if you did a cregan x reader but reader has a dragon and her dragon is called the beast of winterfell or something like that and for the longest time even the people of winterfell have no idea what it means (they assume because of her family they are just referring to her) but while sheâs giving birth or something the dragon hears and feels her pain and come out of hiding freaking out and finds her and like puts his snout up to the window to make sure sheâs okay and itâs kinda like a crazy moment for the people of winterfell lol just a random idea I had hope you like it feel free to change any details about it
ofc! thank you for requesting, anon! i really hope you'll like it! i apologize if its not that great T^T
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beast of winterfell, cregan stark x targ! fem! reader
wc: 1.4k
warning/s: mentions of blood, childbirth, lmk if i missed anything!
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Ever since you had been arranged to Cregan Stark, the Lord of Winterfell and the Warden of the North, you knew you were about to live a completely different life as you were expected to live with him in Winterfell for the rest of your days.Â
It had taken a while for you to get used to being so far from the West and your family, yet Creganâs presence was like a breath of fresh air, albeit cold, really cold.Â
The lighter clothes you used to wear back in Dragonstone now replaced with heavy furs, you could have sworn if you had listened closely you would hear your back crying in protest.Â
Alas you carried yourself with grace, it helped that Cregan had understood where you had come from and he always made sure the fireplace in your shared chambers had been extra warm, even if he had to get the firewood by himself.Â
One thing you had also missed in the West was being able to go on dragonback without feeling that you were about to freeze at any given moment.
Your dragon, Rhaegos or commonly known as the Red Beast, could not stand to be far from you either, even willing to visit from time to time due to his own stubbornness that reflected your own. Making himself a home far enough from Winterfell within a clearing in a forest, you think, he had been able to live and feed himself, keeping warm with his flames.Â
The folks of Winterfell had not even seen a dragon before, youâd wager, and you intend to keep it that way as they would not need to worry of such a magnificent beast nestled near their home, if they had only known.Â
Cregan had also known of Rhaegos, he very well knew the creature as the first ever day Cregan had seen you was you landing on your dragon onto the sands of Dragonstone, he was about to depart then, yet you made him stop in his tracks as the Red Beast had made its appearance.
And you noticed him upon your landing, the ship in the distance carrying the banner of House Stark, which you have soon learned who was going to be your betrothed.Â
Rhaegos did not take kindly to strangers nearing you but you just had to see who the ship carried, if it included your soon to be husband.Â
And when you hopped off your dragon and had reached him, Rhaegos was watching carefully, even crawling himself a yard behind you, though Cregan did not seem to waver, or was trying his best to keep his composure as a dragon was barely in the North and the way its eyes gleamed at him, had him gripping a little tighter on his gloves.Â
To your surprise, Rhaegos had nudged its snout against your back, almost shoving you to Cregan that had sent both your cheeks running hot as he caught you in his arms.
It seemed Rhaegos wanted to play cupid at that moment as you profusely apologized to the Lord of Winterfell.
The marriage came and went, devotion had come easy with you and Cregan, no sooner than a moon after your bedding that you had noticed the changes in your body.
It only took a look for the maester to confirm it. You were with child.Â
Cregan was absolutely delighted, he could not stop showering you with affection within the confines of your chambers, his big rough hands gently upon your stomach.
There were barely any signs of growth yet making you laugh. It was your first time pregnant, and of course youâve seen and heard your mother Rhaenyra teach you a thing or two about it, yet it had always worried you as you saw how it could take a toll upon a womanâs body, like with your mother.
Cregan swore no harm will come upon you and your child as you carry it through the moons, always placing his most skilled men out your chambers if he ever was required someplace else than at Winterfell.Â
And when he would return, he would not even mind the cheers of his folk, going directly straight to you, enveloping you in a careful embrace, before he would kneel to press his forehead against your swollen middle, the baby within you kicking in response.
The days had inched closer to your due, and you had felt it with the way your body had increasingly been feeling heavy, the way you waddled while you walked.Â
Your scream had broken out the great keep of Winterfell as the moment had finally come when their lady was about to give birth. Your handmaidens paced around you in worry, the maester advising you on what you should do- yet it all seemed to drown out by the time it reached your ears.
Blood began to trickle down your legs as your handmaidens rush you to lay upon the bed, you were restless as your body had been covered in sweat, platinum hair matting to your face as you cried out for Cregan, the maester informing you he was well on his way.Â
Your breathing came in rushed, panting as your eyes blinked back tears as you were positioned necessarily for birth. Your muscles had contracted painfully, sending you with another wail.Â
Though on this day, not only your childbirth would be borne by Winterfell.Â
After your long cry, an unfamiliar loud screeching could be heard in the distance, making every folk in Winterfell pause in their actions. Could it be�
âDragon!â A knight exclaimed as people began to panic and rush around.Â
Cregan was on his way back to Winterfell speeding on his mount after having visited the Hornswood, but he was not alone. To the West of him was undoubtedly a creature he had not seen a long time, your dragon, Rhaegos.Â
His screeching may as well echo throughout the North as the dragon flew itself close to Winterfell. Its intimidating and thunderous roars caused worry for Creganâs folk as he finally managed to rush inside, dismounting off his horse and quickly telling his people to calm- that the dragon would not dare harm them, that it was yours.Â
Cregan then rushed towards the great keep, where your screams and wails grew louder, tearing his own heart as he finally shoves himself in the birthing chambers.Â
âCregan!â You cried as he came into view, rushing beside you as the maester had told you to push for the nth time. You wasted no time bearing a deathly grasp upon his hand, knuckles turning white.Â
The gap on the windows was then darkened by a shadow followed by a low rumble, the maidens in the room, even the maester was disturbed at the sight of a dragonâs nout, moving outside as its eyes tried to spot you.Â
âCalm down, it means you no harm.â Cregan said firmly. âMy wife is the priority.â He commanded, glaring daggers at those within the room.Â
Your chest heaved up and down as you could feel Rhaegosâ bond clearly with you as your eyes found his slit ones through the window. âRÄpirÄ« (Be calm) Rhaegos!â You managed to say out loud, the dragon grumbling weakly in turn as it hissed at the maester, who quickly got back to his occupation.Â
With one last push, you had felt itâ the pain had numbed most half of your body, making you try and chase your breath, Creganâs gaze flickering to you and the maester, with Rhaegos present out the window, his low grumbling ever a presence to your strength.Â
All your body seemed to be in a haze, unable to move your legs- or the whole of your body for that fact.
Until a cry of the babe was heard, Creganâs heart thumping in his chest as he looked at you and the babe being wrapped in the towel.
âYou did it, oh thank the Old Gods.â Cregan murmured, pressing his lips to your forehead before his pressed against yours. âIt is a girl, my lord, my lady.â The maester announced as the bundle of joy was placed into your arms.Â
âOur- our own little girlâŠâ You croaked out, a grin breaking through your face as tears of joy pricked your eyes, Cregan looking at the babe wriggling and making his heart near to bursting. âSheâs a beauty like you.â He murmured.
Rhaegos outside began whirring as he seemed to be feeling your joy coursing through your bond, taking himself to the skies screeching happily, making you laugh weakly.Â
Cregan then nuzzled both you and the babe, with Rhaegosâ sounds echoing above.Â
Your children would need not worry for a protector, when theyâve got the beast and the wolf of Winterfell by their side.Â
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cregan tag-list: @misswynters @i-padfootblack-things
#cregan stark#cregan stark x you#cregan x reader#cregan stark x reader#cregan fanfiction#cregan x y/n#cregan x you#hotd cregan#hotd cregan x reader#hotd x reader#hotd fanfic#house of the dragon#house of the dragon x reader#hotd s2#house of the dragon season 2#hotd x you#house of the dragon fanfic#hotd#hotd x y/n#cregan stark x female reader
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rafe + breeding kink
warnings: singledad!rafe, older!rafe (maybe like late twenties-early thirties), nanny!reader, rafeâs son calls you mommy, fluff, unprotected sex, dirty talk, mentions of pregnancy and having kids, creampie
a/n: breeding kink was so heavily requested omg, i love everyone who left a req for this <3 i definitely went a little overboard lol
âwell, that worked like a charm.â rafe smiled down at you and his son who was currently cuddled into your side. âi donât want to move away from him.â you pouted, running your fingers through the little boyâs hair. you had been doing this weird thing to rafeâs heart everytime he saw you caring for his boy, and he didnât know what to make of it.
despite having been rafeâs nanny for nearly three years now, you still found yourself getting flustered every time you caught him staring at you. whether it was you folding laundry, or bending over to dust the entertainment center, all those little things were starting to add up into something both of you wouldnât be able to come back from.
âdo you think we could talk?â rafe helped you up from his sonâs race car bed, a worried expression overtaking his features. âyeah, of course, is everything alright?â you didnât miss the way he kept your hand in his, leading both of you downstairs after closing the door to little rayâs room. âyes, i actually wanted to talk about my salary-â rafe was quick to cut in.
âthrow me a number and you got it.â he dropped your hand, ushering you to take a seat next to him. you laughed softly, shaking your head. âno, i donât want more pay; quite the opposite, really.â rafeâs eyebrows knitted together in confusion. âyouâre not quitting are you?â he heard his heart beating in his ears at your lack of response.
âno, god no!â you placed a hand on his arm, âiâve been looking for another job because i donât want to be paid for taking care of ray anymore..â you met his gaze, running your nails against his skin. âwhy?â rafe couldnât wrap his head around your words, his eyes darting across your face.
âyou know, iâve been taking care of ray since he was two, and heâs going to be five next week.. iâve grown so close to him.â you smiled. âcaring for him, cooking for him, playing with him, loving him, it isnât a job for me.â you didnât realize you were crying until rafe wiped your cheek ever so gently. âyou love him?â rafeâs voice was barely above a whisper, his own tears threatening to spill from his eyes.
âi do, rafe. i love him so much.â you sniffled. âhe called me mom the other day and i felt terrible âcause i bursted into tears on the spot, and he thought he made me sad but i was just overjoyed.â you laughed, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. âi want you to know that iâm not trying to take the place of his mother, i would never do that..â
rafe knew ray called you mom. it wasnât too long ago that ray said, âmommy made my favorite pancakes!â when rafe asked him about his day and made his heart damn near stop in his chest when he heard the word fall from his sonâs lips. âyouâre the closest thing he has to a mother. i donât even know how to thank you for that.â he leaned in, embracing you tightly.
you two stayed like this for a couple moments before you pulled away, adjusting the collar of his shirt. âi called mrs. anderson to set up a playdate with ray and her son, and do you want to know what she said?â you stifled a laugh as rafe relaxed into the couch. âwhat?â he admired the way you lit up while talking about ray.
âshe said that ray was a little more on the wild side and that it would be in her sonâs best interest if they didnât hang out anymore.â you watched as rafe shrugged. âthat little nerd was too boring, anyways.â you gasped, slapping his chest playfully. ârafe!â you whispered, both of you covering your mouths to keep from being too loud.
he quieted down, sighing to himself before looking up at the ceiling, you following suit. âi do worry about that sometimes. i feel like ray needs more of a permanent friend, like a sibling..â he trailed off, glancing at you only to see you were looking at him already. âa sibling?â you raised your eyebrows. âhow would you go about that?â you cleared your throat, trying to ignore the smidge of jealousy that settled in the pit of your stomach.
âwant me to explain to you how babies are made?â rafe scooted closer, his arm draping over your shoulders. âno need, iâm well aware.â you waved him off. âyeah?â he guided you on top of his lap, both of you looking at each other with dark swirling in your eyes. âtell me, y/n, âyou ever think about having little ones?â his large hands came up to rub against your thighs.
rafe felt as if he was approaching that line heâs been wanting to cross since the first time he interviewed you all those years ago. âyes.â you let out a shaky breath when you felt rafeâs fingertips move under your blouse. âyou would make such a good mother, youâd want that wouldnât you?â you cupped his face as his lips ghosted over your own.
you moaned once he finally kissed you, both of your clothes coming off before you could have enough time to think. âgonna fill you up and make you have my babies, yeah?â he laid you down on the soft cushions, running the head of his cock between your wet folds. âyes, please.â you mewled, eyes shining with lust as he took your chin between his thumb.
âfuck, youâre so beautiful.â he covered your mouth, muffling the yelp that left your lips when he entered you slowly, your silky walls welcoming him inch by inch. his strokes were slow and full of intention, his arms caging you in while you two shared the kind of kisses that made your head spin. âbeen wanting you like this for so long.â he cursed under his breath.
you whimpered, arms wrapping around his neck as you trailed kisses across his jaw. the intimacy of having his body flush against yours wasnât like anything youâve ever experienced, your soft cries driving him on the brink of fucking you senseless. âoh, my god,â you clawed at his skin, making him hiss as he tugged at the roots of your hair to make you look up.
âi can see it already; all three of us going to the beach and rubbing on your round belly, all pretty and pregnant.â rafe picked up his pace, your hips now moving with his to meet his thrusts. âi want that so bad!â you nearly screamed when he started toying with your clit, both of you holding onto one another like your life depended on it.
âjesus, fuck-â his movements came to a halt before he placed your legs on his shoulders, leaning down until your thighs met the cushions underneath you. snaking an arm around your lower back, you gasped when he started lifting you up, fucking you onto his cock so he could reach deeper than before. âr-rafe!â your mouth fell open, eyes blinking slowly.
with one hand still rubbing your clit, and the head of his length continuously hitting your sweet spot, you found yourself approaching the edge of euphoria. rafe can tell by the way you were clenching around him that you were going to cum soon. âhold out a little longer for me, baby. âwant you to cum when i fill you up.â he pressed a kiss to your temple, hips stuttering once the band in his stomach snapped.
burying his head in the curve of you neck, he moaned against your skin as he stilled, the head of his cock nudging your cervix. you felt the moment he finished, the hot ropes of his cum filling you to the hilt as your thighs started trembling. rafe clamped a hand over your mouth, whispering a âlet me feel you cum around me.â before you obliged, your orgasm hitting you in long waves of ecstasy.
you laid helplessly, trying your hardest not to scream at the intense feeling in your tummy, your eyes rolling back as he rubbed a soothing hand on your side. rafe helped you come down from your climax, the aftershocks of your orgasm making your body jolt with every stroke of his fingers against your skin. he stayed nestled inside of you, both of you embracing each other as your breathing slowed, sleep weighing heavy on your eyelids.
âyou did so good for me, are you feeling okay?â you blinked up at him, a smile making its way to his lips when he saw the fucked out expression on your face. âmhmm, âdonât think i could get up though.â you hissed once he pulled out, watching as he slipped on his pants. âletâs get in the shower, youâre staying here.â he helped you up, putting his large button down over your shoulders.
rafe carried you upstairs, tiptoeing past rayâs room before both of you got in the shower, round two well underway. it wasnât until you were laying rafeâs bed, adorned in one of his t-shirts that you two heard little rayâs voice outside the door. âdaddy? can i come in?â rafe rubbed a reassuring hand on your arm, shouting a âyes, son!â before ray strided inside, running up to you excitedly.
âcan i sleep in here, pleaseee,â you embraced him, telling him yes before rafe could get the chance to tell him otherwise. âare you sleeping over?â the little boy peered up at you, wasting no time in settling under the comforter of rafeâs bed. you giggled, flashing rafe a look. âyes, i am.â ray looked over at his father, studying him for a minute.
you watched them have a silent conversation with their eyes, the scene making your heart melt. âgoodnight, daddy,â he patted rafeâs chest, â..goodnight, mommy.â he pecked your cheek, the waterworks threatening to spill over at any moment. rafe reached over, taking your hand in his before he pressed a kiss to your knuckles. âgoodnight.â
#â€ïžâ âč works#single!dad!rafe#outer banks#outer banks smut#outer banks fanfiction#rafe cameron#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron x reader#rafe outer banks#rafe cameron blurb#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron fic#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron concepts#rafe cameron drabble#rafe cameron prompt#rafe fluff#rafe x you#rafe fanfiction#rafe smut#rafe x reader#rafe imagine#rafe fic#rafe obx#obx#obx smut#obx fanfiction#drew starkey
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Side Characters as Doms Headcanons
And here we are, as requested by multiple anons lol. Yes, this includes the three newbies. I was thinking it was taking me forever to write this part, but actually it's only been a week since I posted the bros? Huh. Anyway. Enjoy!
GN!MC x the side characters
Demon Bros as Doms Side Characters as Subs
NSFW MDNI
Note: As usual, the warnings on this are off the charts but most of it's just briefly mentioned.
Warnings: Sub!MC, bondage, blindfolds, gags, shibari, dacryphilia, begging, overstimulation, praise, degradation, humiliation, biting, hickeys, roleplay, orgasm denial, edging, spanking, demon form, tail stuff (Barb you heathen lol), somnophilia, manhandling, collaring, whips, chains, magic stuff (do I even have to say who), aphrodisiacs, multiple orgasms, blood kink, exhibitionism, titles, jealousy, after care, I hope that's it sheesh.
Diavolo
Doms the same way he interacts with people - generally indulgent, amused, curious, and soft, but push too far and youâre no longer dealing with friendly Diavolo, but the Next Demon King. He prefers to pamper you, but he wonât show leniency to a brat for very long.
Heâs also acutely aware of the fact that he is one large, powerful, and strong demon and you are but a fragile human. Even when youâre being punished, heâs gentle with you. His favorite thing to do when you get out of line is to overstimulate you. He wants to hold you in his lap with his fingers inside you, making you come until you cry.
Diavolo is vocal, he spends a lot of time praising you. Heâs not really into degradation or humiliation. He wants to tell you how perfect you are for him. He wants to coo in your ear when youâre begging and whining. Heâll call you all sorts of sweet pet names.
Diavolo also likes to dress you up, usually with pretty ropes and a blindfold paired with something like a really expensive necklace. He likes to see his status displayed on you. If you ask for something specific, heâll buy you the most fanciest and prettiest one he can find.
He also loves to leave his mark on you. His favorite is biting, heâll be sure to cover you in his teeth marks. He also enjoys sucking on your skin and leaving hickeys all over. Too much bruising stresses him out a little because heâs worried about hurting you too much. But if youâre clearly enjoying it, heâll keep going.
He wonât do exhibitionism, but heâs okay with close proximity type situations. Actually gets a lock installed on his office door because he really really wants to roleplay with you in there. Sometimes he has a hard time keeping a straight face when doing this, but he manages to school himself. Because heâs waiting for the moment when he can bend you over his desk and lose himself in how good you feel.
Barbatos
Another one who has two modes. Barbatos is a fair dom, but heâs also strict. Heâs less indulgent than Diavolo and heâs less hesitant to punish you if youâre being bratty. He has no problem using all forms of punishment and will generally use whatever seems to work best for you. His personal choice is orgasm denial. Heâs going to bring you to the edge, maybe multiple times, but never actually allow you to feel that sweet release. If you protest, heâll just smile and shake his head. Itâs meant to be a punishment, MC.
Donât think that means thatâs all heâll try though. If he finds you respond better to other forms of punishment, he wonât hesitate to switch tactics. Whether heâs spanking you or overstimulating you, youâll know he means business the second he takes his gloves off.
If youâve really messed up, though, he wonât even bother with the gloves. Thatâs when you know youâre really in for it. Barbatos almost never loses his cool, so if youâve managed to do that, watch out.
He likes to dom in demon form. His tail is useful for all kinds of things, like restraining you or gagging you. It also reminds him of the time when he wasnât as restrained as he is now. He lets himself go just enough to make things exciting, but not enough that he loses control of the situation.
Barbatos is into just about anything and everything, so if youâve got some kinda kink, be sure he will use it to his advantage. Oh, you like biting? Good, so does he. Now you're covered in bite marks. Perhaps you enjoy a little somnophilia? It's fine, he enjoys that, too. He'll be sure you're dreaming about his cock.
He likes it when youâre needy and when you beg for him. He can hold back and not touch you at all for a long time, letting you squirm and cry. When he finally does touch you, itâs soft and subtle and almost makes things worse.
Sometimes, heâll go all out instead. When this happens, you find yourself absolutely exhausted. Heâll make you stay with him the whole next day so he can take care of you. Wonât let you go to RAD or do anything else. He just wants to pamper you.
Simeon
A very gentle and soft dom, Simeon is incredibly indulgent with you. He prefers praise to degradation and heâll shower you in it. He likes to call you sweet names, too. His favorite thing is just to touch and kiss you. He wants you under him so he can kiss all the way up and down your body, running his fingers along your skin.
You really have to push to get him to punish you at all, but if you go that far, he will put you in your place. Youâll need to brat like no brat has ever bratted to make it happen. But Simeon can quell a bit of a bratty outburst with nothing but a command. When he issues it, thereâs a tone in his voice that speaks volumes, even though heâll still be smiling at you.
If you keep pushing, he will warn you multiple times because he just wants you to be good for him. But eventually, heâll give you the punishment you so clearly deserve. He doesnât really have a preference himself, so heâll do what he thinks will be most effective. He tries different things with you until he finds the one that works.
Surprisingly good at resisting begging. He wonât give in right away if youâre whining and crying in his lap, heâll let you carry on for a bit first. He likes to listen to your pleas, he thinks you sound so cute.
While he doesnât particularly enjoy hurting you too much, he does like to manhandle you. Heâll pick you up and move you around as he sees fit. Heâs stronger than he looks and he likes to have that control over you. If he puts you into a particular position, you had better not move yourself from it.
Too shy outside the bedroom to allow much of a dynamic there, but he will absolutely give you a Look if youâre acting out. Itâs his way of saying you might want to re-evaluate your behavior unless you want to be dealing with the consequences later.
He has a bit of a dark side that you can tap into when you're being really unmanageable. Don't worry, he'll have confirmed your safewords before ever starting anything, so if he's suddenly too much you can use them. But when he flips that switch, you'll find he can be unexpectedly harsh with you. He gets a certain look in his eyes and his voice gets very quiet. You've really decided to push him to his limit, haven't you, MC?
Solomon
Solomon is able to step into dom mode at will and when he does, heâs really good at it. He knows exactly what to do to make your silly little sub heart flutter. He wonât hesitate to keep you in line outside of the bedroom, usually by giving you a little squeeze or even an ominous smile. He likes to have you wear a collar all the time. Heâll corner you somewhere a little out of sight of anyone else, hook a finger into your collar, and whisper words of warning in your ear.
When it comes down to it, Solomon is willing to do anything at all. Heâs a pretty fair dom and will always give you space at first to be a little bratty. But it doesnât take too much to push him and then heâll deal with you quickly. While he will switch up punishments to whatever works best, he likes spanking. He just wants you to fall apart in his lap.
He will employ anything and everything that will get a good reaction from you. Ropes, whips, blindfolds, gags, etc etc if you can think of it, he will give it a go. He likes to use magic to restrain you, though. If you really have a thing for ropes, heâll use them sometimes, but his magic is so much more effective. He has all kinds of saucy little spells that make you feel all kinds of sensations~
Solomon wants to make you have multiple orgasms and he will employ aphrodisiac potions to do it if he needs to and if you agree. He just loves to watch you come over and over again. He wants to make your brain stop working for a bit.
He loves to praise you, but he enjoys dirty talk, too. You'll probably get a bit of a random mixture of them.
Solomon also enjoys cockwarming. If he's having a long night in his lab, studying ancient spells, he'll really appreciate you sitting in his lap as long as you can. He loves the way you squirm. He'll tell you to stay still, but the amusement in his tone is evident. If you keep moving like that, MC, he's going to have to do something about it. He won't make you wait too long because in the end, he gets impatient too.
He's very attentive when it comes to after care. He likes to dom and to have fun with you, but he also wants to remind you of how important you are to him. He'll pamper you, hold you close, kiss you, and tell you that you're his everything.
Mephistopheles
By far the meanest of doms. It depends a bit on what you respond to and also what mood he's in, but he's generally not going to give you an inch. Sometimes he's in a softer mood and he'll be a little nicer, but even then it's not by much. He expects you to follow his orders and be grateful about it. When he's like this, he won't tolerate brattiness. If you push, he'll double down and you won't like when that happens. He'll get stubborn and he won't indulge you at all.
He'll use all kinds of methods or punishment, but mostly itâs going to be edging and orgasm denial. He wants you to beg so he can ignore it. Heâll be sure to tell you itâs your own fault for thinking heâd go easy on you.
Mephisto will mostly use dirty talk and degradation, delivering praise only when youâve really earned it. He likes to see you cry, so he will do everything he can to make that happen. If you do start, thatâs the only time heâll soften just a little. Heâll wipe away your tears and tell you how good youâre being for him.
He has a blood kink. He wants to see your blood on your skin and he will bite you. Leaves all kinds of marks across your body, mostly with his mouth.
Heâs into exhibitionism and semi public sex. He gets cocky and wants people to know that you belong to him. Loves it when you wear a collar visibly. Doesnât hesitate to grab you or whisper threats if he thinks youâre acting out in public.
Despite all this, he gets incredibly soft when it comes to after care. This is when he pampers you. Instead of threats, he's now whispering sweet nothings in your ear. He gets embarrassed about how much you matter to him, so it's easier for him to be mean. He might even confess all this to you in these quieter moments. He'll gently kiss every mark he left on your body. He'll tell you that he hates how much a human matters to him. Don't you see what you've done to him, MC?
Raphael
He's a little skeptical at first. You want him to do what exactly? It isn't that he's innocent, but he's not sure he understands the appeal. Give him some time and he'll fall right into it easily enough. Raphael seems like a strict dom, but he's more lenient than he first appears. He's just quiet, won't give you a lot of orders, really.
He does like to tie you up. Shibari is especially intriguing to him. He likes taking the time to create masterpieces out of rope on your body. He likes the way the ropes leave marks when he finally unties you. He'll kiss along the places where they were, indulging in the feeling of your heated skin.
Raphael might not think of it himself, but he'll lose his whole mind if you use a title for him. Call him Sir or Master and he'll be the one blushing like crazy. He'll be able to control himself, but he'll ask you to do it again.
He's more into praise than anything, he likes to tell you how good you're being. If you're being bad, he gets quiet. You'll know you're in trouble when he's suddenly not talking much. Perhaps giving you short one syllable responses.
Punishments will really be just about anything. It's whatever he's in the mood to do and whatever he thinks will get the message across. Fortunately, he finds that just giving you a certain look is usually enough to quell you. Because you'll find his punishments are quite harsh, so it's better to avoid them. Of course, if you really want to be punished, all you have to do is push a little harder.
Raphael is not super into exhibitionism, but sometimes he feels the need to pull you into an empty room, especially at RAD. He is surprisingly jealous. If he thinks you're getting too cozy with anyone else, he'll make sure you haven't forgotten who you belong to. Do you suppose it's fun to push his buttons that way, MC?
Thirteen
Don't worry, MC. She will absolutely step on you if you want her to. Thirteen is not shy about domming, she will agree immediately. She's willing to do whatever you want - whatever gets you to react. She'll try praise, but if she finds degradation or humiliation work better, she'll switch to that. Either way, though, she likes to keep her hand in your hair, so she can pull it whenever she wants.
She enjoys biting and blood. She will leave her marks on you, whether its with her teeth or her nails. She likes the way it looks on you, but she also likes the sight of your blood on her fingertips.
Thirteen will tie you up, blindfold you, and gag you. She'll make you wear a collar and leash. She will go all out, she's not holding back at all. She expects you to behave and if you don't, she'll deal with you readily.
Punishments can vary, but she likes to watch you squirm. Whatever does that most effectively, gets you crying and begging, that's what she'll go for every time. She'll try spanking, edging, orgasm denial, even stuff like whips and chains. She likes to come up with unique ways to restrain you or punish you, like she does with her traps.
Will not hesitate to use magic on you. Spells, potions, whatever she can find that will have the desired effect. She likes to overstimulate you. She'll use aphrodisiac potions to keep you aroused for hours. She loves to watch you cry and whine and mumble her name because you've forgotten yours.
Thirteen will get jealous and she'll sometimes feel the need to remind you of your place if she thinks you're getting too friendly with someone else. This generally consists of a hand on your arm, a simple look, or a single word. She doesn't need to make a big show of it, but all of those things get you to back off. And you know you'll be hearing about it later.
In the end, she's going to take care of you. She may go all out, but she always ends with praise, soft kisses and caresses. She tells you how good you are, how perfect for her, how much she just wants you to be hers and only hers.
demon bros as doms | demon bros as subs | side characters as subs masterlist | Thank you for reading!
#I dunno these felt so vague#now I really wanna write actual sexy scenes la;ksdkjf#obey me#obey me nightbringer#obey me smut#obey me diavolo#obey me diavolo x reader#obey me barbatos#obey me barbatos x reader#obey me simeon#obey me simeon x reader#obey me solomon#obey me solomon x reader#obey me mephistopheles#obey me mephistopheles x reader#obey me raphael#obey me raphael x reader#obey me thirteen#obey me thirteen x reader#obey me x reader#x reader#misc naughty times#misc writes
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So today just fucking sucks
#unshoutout to my insurance you suck#j wont cry abt this but i do feel pretty fucking hopeless ahahah.#Called back the 2 jobs. One hiring manager said he was gonna do some more looking today and'll keep an eye out for my name. Another isn't e#ven in right now. Wish I could be payed to do jackshit too babes#2 other jobs have been no contacts which is cool that's 6 jobs rn? lol?#if I can get a job it'll all be fine <- through gritted fucking teeth#if I get a decent biweekly paycheck it'll all work out in the end. Yep! It will! Because I've done good in the world and that is always pay#ed back even if it takes a while. And it's not hopeless I just need to wait. And I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine.
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â
WHAT CAN YOU EXPECT IN REGARDS TO YOUR LOVE LIFE?
NOTE: miss me? hehe. i felt called to answer the bat signal (i saw yâalls messages in my ask box ILYSM) take what resonates, leave what doesnât. thank yâall for the support always. đ«
PILE ONE.
ooo this fall i do see a very solid romantic connection coming into fruition for you, pile 1. thereâs such a high level of comfortability between you both itâs sooooo sweet and endearing. you could already be friends with this person, but if thatâs not the case, they will be your best friend and lover wrapped into one. diary by alicia keys is coming to mind â wow! the energy is very sensual and venusian-like. maybe you or this person has taurus and/or libra placements? you two connect on such a deep spiritual level. i can just feel it, pile 1. opening up to this person will be so easy for you, which is crazy because i feel like youâre not vulnerable/open with just ANYBODY.
lay your head on my pillow, here you can be yourself. no one has to know what you are feeling, no one but me and you. OKAY BYE IâLL CRY RN?! the emotions between you two run very deep & i feel like you both will create such a calm, intimate and loving space for each other. this connection will be so healing â iâm picking up that either you or your person never truly knew what it felt like to have a strong support system or someone in your corner through thick and thin, but let me tell you something, pile 1. you and your person will show up and out for each other!
you might be a bit defensive or standoffish towards this person at first, because youâre afraid of being hurt or let down once again. however, i want you to know that itâs okay to open your heart and be receptive. some of you that picked this pile might have a scorpio moon, because iâm picking up that itâs really hard to knock down that wall you have built around yourself. this person wants to take the time out to get to know you, the REAL you, and all your little quirks and interests because thereâs more that meets the eye when it comes to you. i feel like you compartmentalize different aspects and traits within yourself & suppress them to conform to what others think you should be/should act like â but your person is saying f*ck that. they are going to love you in all your glory.
iâm ngl you could see yourself settling down with this person. theyâll fulfill you in so many ways that others can't even imagine or measure up to. this person is going to take care of you & splurge on you. they have very dominant energy and youâre going to love that about them lol for some of you might f*ck around and have a baby with this person. for a small portion of this pile, they might already have a child from a previous relationship. if thatâs not the case though, youâre just going to love how hands on they are with you (literally hehe) & how they take the lead and make all your dreams come true. your person also has a lot of sexual energy lol in the best way possible. itâs so sly and lowkey but youâll be folding like a pretzel pile 1 LOL.
channeled messages:
pov by ariana grande, free mind by tems, touch my body by mariah carey, youâre the only one that i want, dangerously in love pt. 2 by beyoncĂ©.
PILE TWO
i think you need to get yourself out there a little moreeee, pile 2. i think that youâll have more opportunities to meet new people and have some fun experiences, but itâs up to you to go out there and mingle. youâve been keeping to yourself for a while now and thereâs nothing wrong with that. pulling your energy back & recharging is good for the soul, but you also need to step into your power and claim whatâs yours. remember â whatever you want, wants you even more. youâre glowing tf up this fall, pile 2.
youâre definitely elevating and so many people are going to peep it, especially romantic suitors. get out of your heads my lovely pile 2âs and open your mind + your heart to the limitless possibilities and opportunities that await you. you downplay yourself too much! TALK YOUR SHIT. youâre gonna have a couple love interests trying to get your attention & shooting their shot and it might throw you off, but just go with it. f*ck it, the more the merrier. lol iâm kidding but seriously have some fun!
youâll know who is worth the chance and who isnât. some of you that picked this pile might be a little inexperienced when it comes to relationships/love, so you just need some side quests and test runs to decipher what you do and donât like lol. iâm also picking up a situation-ship vibe from this pile as well â some of you might have a lot of options but all you can think about is one specific person. you might not be talking to them right now, but your guides donât want you to worry too much about them. focus on how you can create the reality you want for yourself. youâre the main character of your story, donât be a perpetual side character in somebody elseâs. iâm getting a lot of different messages for this pile, but one of the main things thatâs sticking out to me is that whoever you pick/choose to entertain, you will have intense sexual chemistry with that person lol. you wonât be able to fight it hehe itâll be the start of something new and exciting, pile 2.
channeled messages:
body by summer walker, go out with your friends, lemon drop, out of my head lupe fiasco ft. trey songz.
PILE THREE.
oh my, pile 3. did yâall just get out of a relationship or situationship? itâs really giving that. i think you need to work on becoming more grounded, and enforce healthy boundaries with your romantic partners and just everyone in general tbh. youâre so giving and nurturing. youâre always pouring into others, but where are they when itâs time to pour into you? youâve had to come to terms with this the hard way :( people think that because youâre so compassionate and forgiving that they can walk all over you. this feeling of frustration has bubbled up inside of you for so long now, that it makes you feel pessimistic when it comes to love.
your guides want you to release this energy and not let it set you back or deter you from opening yourself up to a new partner that can and will cherish you. your love is very powerful â you are a REAL lover! if you get knocked down, youâll rise up 10x stronger. please remember that always. your love is divine, itâs pure and itâs simply addicting; thatâs why people felt like they could just take and take and take without you saying anything to them. the person that you were previously connected to knows you have a good heart, but they donât value it. i am very happy to let you know that there is a special someone out there that will, and they are coming towards you.
they will claim you loud & proud and be so greatful to have you in their life and by their side. your person is so encouraging and kind, yet a lil rough around the edges â you almost wouldnât expect this from them. theyâre definitely going to match your freak lol. physical touch + words of affirmation might be their love language too btw. i think you need to let go of your ex/previous situationship, and take a leap of faith into the unknown with this new person. their love will feel so freeing and refreshing <3 the love between you both will hold no bounds. you deserve this pile, 3.
channeled messages:
wait for you by future ft. drake & tems, iâll be there for you/you're all i need by method man ft. mary j blige, maddy perez, mula, ketu-moon aspect, anything by SWV, the weekend by sza.
#pick a card#pac#pick a pile#pac reading#p1utofairy#love reading#love donât cost a thing#paris morgan
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