#lol jk no pressure but that would be awesome

[starsscarmyceiling]

Hello! I notice that you are a voracious Merrical shipper! This is a thing we share in common. I'm looking to write a few Merrin/Cal drabbles or shorts. I like to think I'm pretty alright at that part, but not so alright at coming up with initial ideas. Would you care to drop me some prompts you might have rattling around in your brain? I consider my strengths to be romance, fluff, hurt/comfort emotional type stuff. Space Chicken Soup for the Soul or something. Anything that allows me to say something about them as a romantic couple. Thanks!

I MEAN…what gave me away?? LOLOL of courseeeeeee I am a voracious shipper of our fav space ginger jedi and space goth best girl!! I am honored you’d reach out to me for such a thing anon. I do feel like I always just have fic ideas banging around in my head like a bunch of loose not approved space trash, so I would be happy to help! Now, did you want canonverse or AU prompts? Well I am here to give you both like the feral Merrical that I am. (also space chicken soup for the soul I cackled)

I hope you love tropes!

Haha some of these are just a few sentences and some of them are whoops Katie got a little carried away and already wrote out half the fic for you in the most unhinged, blathering manner you’ve ever seen so prepare yourself for that (it’s actually a lot of them so…🙃)

Canonverse:

Canon Compliant:

Alright, who doesn’t love a sexy spy intel fic? Yeah, pretty stereotypical plot, buy HEY listen. Okay, typical gathering intel mission at some cantina somewheres (and they are not together in my mind because of course that makes it more fun). Maybe there’s a drink or two…oh hey maybe even some dancing to appear nondescript…and wow hey they are at just the right place to complete the mission but OH—what is this the people they’re spying on are actually coming right for them WHAT SHOULD THEY DO TO DISTRACT—um come on is this even a question?? I personally think it would be more unexpected and satisfying if Cal were to be the one to initiate it.

Because of course he’s wanted to do this, kiss her like this, feel her like this. He’s kind of surprised he’s held out this long, and he’s nervous, feeling like he’s made a mistake because she’s not responsive, so he’s already formulating his extreme apology once they are in the clear—

He feels her fingertips slowly touch at the skin on his neck as her lips respond to his. The way in which it escalates caused Cal to forget what its intended purpose was because his brain blanked out as her body pressed to his, arms snaking around his neck now as it only seemed natural to wrap his around her… you know, something like that

UM, SPARRING??? Xcuse is there anything better?? A Jedi and a Nightsister can you imagine? It starts off innocent enough, but then hey Bogano is hot—perhaps Cal takes off his shirt, they get competitive trying to one up each other, Merrin takes off her shirt idk and of course there’s gots to be banter banter banter sethy sethy banter sethy, we’re all watching like YO these two want to SMOOSH their FACES TOGETHER RIGHT??? They have a moment, an impasse if you will, where they are very close or are actually just pressed up against one another, or hey maybe even one falls on top of the other—I’m not picky.

They realize they’ve gotten too carried away or crossed a line 🥵—blush blush or lingering lewks—but then they get a hold of themselves. Because hey, that’s a normal thing to do, right? Just have this sexually charged sparring session and brush up against your bud in the process?? I mean, we’ve all been there…

They’re both embarrassed, trying to scurry away to preserve their dignity…Merrin walks away first and then Cal like grunts with his hands in the air like wtfff why didn’t I kiss her??

~Later~ Cal’s beating himself up in his cot, tossing and turning on just how much Merrin means to him because it was weird and awkward for them at dinner and was he really imagining everything that’d built between them?

Cal just can’t let this go and gets up to confront her about it, and he gets up to find her in the hallway walking towards his room, and—he sees her face and automatically deflates because there’s conflict on her face. They again awkwardly kind of be like saying at the same time I’m sorry about that oof whoops I didn’t mean that unless maybe—okay well GNIGHT—

Cal goes back to bed, sits on his bed and sighs, knowing he biffed it again—almost starts spiraling disassociating, and then shakes his head like man wtf am I doing go to her—so he gets up again—he goes up to her door, hyping himself up, but then like two seconds later, Merrin opens it, and they are shocked, they stare, Cal goes in for it—pulls away—they stare—they both go in for it and hehe idk wtf do you think happens after that???????????//

Um, I am envisioning a dynamic where like, there has been some flirtsing between them, but nothing that has really committed to the bit, you know? And then they go on either a mission or go like to a marketplace (somewhere public) wherein one notices how much the other is getting checked out, and they are like ooof wow everyone in this Cantina is seeing how hot they are how could I even have a shot??? Well let me tell YOU babes…you do. you have a shot. You have the most shots. Just…shoot your shot. I feel like there should def be some unintentional swagger going on and the other is like wow why are they being so hot rn…THAT is rude.

They get home…there’s an awkward feeling where they don’t know how to act around them…and the other is like um tf is up with you??? And it’s like they forgot how to be a person around them…what?? What is hUmAN iNteRaCtIon???? Would you I—how do I—*wheezes* Okay the more I write this out the more fun I think it would be for Merrin to be getting all flustered about this (esp because she is usually the one that is seen to be more composed). It’s up to you but come on there is much room for Cal busting out that charm he doesn’t even realize he has and Merrin is just 🥵 swoon. Also him taking off his shirt for no reason or looking hawt while doing Jedi shit. Then she just snaps. We love to see it. Just think about it. I know you are. Please write this shit for us I beg of you.

I also like the thought of Cal looking for something in the mantis, and he accidentally picks up one of Merrin’s things without thinking about it and sees an echo from her. It actually isn’t sad. It’s a happy one, which for some reason seems to only make it worse. He doesn’t exactly know how to address it with her and starts to feel awkward around her. Sometimes he really resents the fact that people’s private moments are just projected into his head. They are tasked to do something together on another planet, where she eventually confronts him on why he is acting weird. He tries to play it off with some lame excuse and she sees right through him and stalks off.

He sighs, setting out to find her, where she is at like an outside café or hell somewhere super secluded. Cal sits down with her without a word. They are silent for a bit, but then he tells her of a happy memory that he has of him and Jaro and their battalion, or maybe something from the temple.

She is happy he’s shared something intimate with her, but then she questions where this is coming from. Then he is pulling something out of his poncho, dropping it into her lap. There are profuse apologies coming from him and tells her what he saw. It was a complete accident. Upon seeing the object, she tells Cal it’s fine she knew he didn’t do it on purpose, but there still seems to be something bothering her.

Cal says how sometimes it’s easy to forget there were better times before this, and thinking about those memories now almost makes them feel tainted.

Merrin tells him that she thought she’d never have another happy memory again. But then she tells him of the first good one she made with him. He smiles, feeling bashful. Merrin says knowing that I still can be happy makes me feel like my past wasn’t for nothing. And I have you to thank for that. They decide they should be getting back and stand…one of them starts to hesitate, and the other notices, asking what is wrong…but then the former approaches them and perhaps they kith I mean of course they kith this is a fanfic after all I mean what else are we doing here.

Who doesn’t love a mission where Cal has taken too long (with Saw or the partisans or whatever), and Merrin is really starting to worry that something bad has happened to him. She can’t feel him through the force and she has devolved into a nervous wreck (up to you what the state of their relationship is at this point). Cere and Greez do their best to try and distract or comfort her. she feels her heart rip apart in her chest because she just cannot go through this again—she’s already lost her sisters and almost lost him too. Him being gone and uncertain of his fate is making her face how she truly feels about him, which makes it only worse.

She is trying to distract herself with practicing her magicks, menial tasks, meditation, sparring techniques that Cal has taught her—which just makes her think of him just like everything eventually does.

And just when she thought she truly was going to lose her mind, resorting to shutting out these feelings she’s only just realized, she feels him, something that is only a flicker compared to how bright he normally feels—and she’s running, she can teleport, but she just wants to chase this feeling of where he is—because if she doesn’t she is just simply going to lose her mind—

There he is, at the top of the ramp, and there is this moment where they meet eyes (and wow our boy could certainly be injured, which could explain why she didn’t feel him before), and they are running towards each other—and wow what a beautiful reunion of DON’T EVER SCARE ME LIKE THAT AGAIN and such things. Could have a debriefing session looking over the sunset of Bogano where ✨feelings✨ are discussed. If they aren’t together certainly someone shoving their face into the other for the first time, or if they already are def have the L word thrown around…also there has to be a ‘coming back to you was like coming home’ moment because yes. Should be full of fun timez.

Canon Divergent:

I love love looooove the idea of Merrin has been able to get off Dathomir and becomes a bounty hunter (and Ventress is alive and thriving and living her best life OF COURSE), and perhaps they sometimes work together (it is my own personal HC that these two are aunt and niece together but I digress). And guess who are the most wanted beezies in the galaxy??? JEDI. And there’s a redheaded Jedi going around causing a lot of trouble.

Merrin is on a planet and happens to find him in a Cantina. He fits the description with his build and his hair, despite the hood he is trying to conceal himself with. Perhaps most people would miss him, but not this Nightsister. She follows him to somewhere secluded, and he of course senses her and is like um why are you following me…you know the answer to that, she says. He knows he’s discovered and so don’t we have a FUN Jedi Nightsister brawl. Both catches one another off guard with their abilities…but of course we know who has to get the upper hand if this fic is going to progress.

Cal is captured…there are some fun moments in captivity where Cal is like please don’t do this…do you really want to give the Empire what they want, and she is just like fuming Jedi are liars and selfish thieves bit. Could go a few different directions from here. I like the thought of another group ambushing them, and Cal offers to help and she is like no you are my prisoner and he is like girl would you rather die? So she reluctantly says FINE Jedi—he ends up accidentally touching something of hers in the midst and feels an echo that you know, reveals some sad shit and she is like WTF ARE YOU DOING WE NEED TO GET A MOVE ON IT BUDDY—

They end up having to crash land anyway—perhaps onto an uninhibited planet or one with a small population…Cal saves Merrin, and when she wakes up and realizes what he has done and she is almost resentful. Why would he do such a thing. She takes her anger out on him. And he just takes it all. And it makes her even more angry that he isn’t even reacting to it like he was before.

Eventually when she is done, he tells her that the Jedi weren’t the monsters she was told they were. Perhaps he even busts out the object he touched before and tosses it to her. He apologizes and explains what happened on the ship before he stands, explaining everything that needs to be fixed on the ship.

He’s walking away, but he pauses, idk if you want to bust out the ‘I know what it’s like to lose everything’ line here but I don’t think it would be a bad place. Or at least something to that degree. And you know what progresses after that…(psst, it’s their relationship) Holy shit the more I’ve gotten into this the more I need it please someone write this I may die without it!

(OR—another direction you can go with it is that they are both captured by WHOMSTever and they have to work together to escape…I mean who could truly stop a Jedi and a Nighsister reluctantly working together? I truly pity the fool)

Clone Wars AU where Cal and Jaro are assigned to try and recruit the Nightsisters to try and get the upper hand in the war with Dooku (lol I wouldn’t say exactly a Dark Disciple route but that’s up to you). Merrin is voluntold (the opposite of volunteered) by Mother Talzin to try and become allies with the Jedi (they could have their own shady Nightsister ulterior motive going on as well), and Merrin reluctantly goes with the Jedi. And oooooooOoOooo wow the shenanigans that can ensue from that. (Merrin also has to try really hard not to lose her shit over leaving Dathomir for the first time in her life). I’d imagine a lot of frustrations from both parties. The clones mercilessly make fun of Cal and his Nightsister gf (but they also have to tell him what’s up). He thinks she’s unreasonably obtuse and rude, and she thinks he’s frustratingly smug/arrogant. Merrin could prove to be a definite asset in battle. Cal probably thinks it’s hawt 😳 OH NO SHE’S HOT SEE LOOK HOW WE GOT HERE WE LIKE TO HAVE FUN HERE.

Now suddenly she’s mysterious and complex, and he’s frustrated that he wants to know more. He’s actually the sweetest person she’s ever seen and she’s angry about it. She constantly has to check in with her sisters and it’s getting harder and harder to go behind his back or deny that she maybe might not hate him anymore she maybe even may want to smooch him WOAH who knows. They bond over feeling used in this war. Come on. You got it from here right?

AUs:

Modern:

Idk why this has been in my head but like—(I imagine them as good friends with insane chemistry, well, they always have insane chemistry but you know what I mean), and they are at a party, probably drinking involved, because that could give you some like beer pong shenanigans if you so choose. They have a good fun time, maybe there’s a moment where either one of them (depending on who’s POV you are using) thinks it’s gonna happen. Merrin smiles in just the right way, or Cal says something dorky and adorable like he does, and I mean…they’re in a fanfic, so of course they get INTERRUPTED—

They may either be too tried or too drunk to leave, and they end up both on the couch, and hey at the time it seemed like a perfectly normal thing for them to just fall asleep like that. Cal probably still tries to respect Merrin’s boundaries and though her face is like literal centimeters from his, he tries his best to give her space and awkwardly contorts his body so he is still not touching her. But Merrin still rests her head on his arm anyway, and both of them feel that warmth and rush throughout their bodies because maybe perhaps also Cal tucks her Merrin’s hair behind her ear just before they fall asleep—

AND IN THE MORNING, they’re closer now, both of them in that haze of awakening, their lips are ever so barely touching, BUT THEN—they spring apart. Their eyes are wild on each other and within this space, seconds tick by as the gravity of that sinks in before they give each other one last heated look and then they are just macking on each other let’s GOOOOOOOO

My goodest frond @arosesee (who thought of this and the next three ideas) actually just came up with this one, and I LOVE it. A direct quote from her, “Mom Merrin subbing for Dad Kestis at a PTA meeting I would DIE,” and I mean basically. And I am not even someone who normally goes for fics with kids, but omg I would go feral for this one. Can you imagine? Cal is friends with all the moms and they are just smitten with him, and they are always like so when do we get to meet your wife?

And he’s like lol y’all ain’t ready for that smoke…but then hey Cal gets sick or something and so his goth wife has to step in and demand why they aren’t disciplining her children more I mean do they know who their father is??? And the moms just had no idea what Merrin was about, so they are just a bit surprised. UGH, I would be obsessed. Obsessed.

A stranded island survivor metrical fic could be fun. AHHHHH omg can you imagine all the arguing and the bickering and the 👀 —back to bickering again

“Oooooorrr a one-shot meet cute tourist trap with Merrin working the cash register and Cal the campy decked out tourist tripping over himself cause he doesn't want to be inconsiderate but ohmygod she's so pretty

He like TOTALLY drops his wallet (probably drops it twice)”

He’s like there for a thing—like maybe a family thing with Cere and Greez and it just turns into them constantly running into each other (um should the wallet dropping bit be throughout uh yeah I think so and at the end SHE picks it up akakakakakkakk), and finally she eyes him, sighing, and invites him to the hotel bar or a local spot, basically just yanking him along and Cal is just like okAYYYY 😍

“Ooooh one more idea, both of them are college RAs for the same dorm building, and it's super awkward but FINE during the meeting but then they have to plan weekly socials for the baby freshmen TOGRTHRr and like it's fine like so totally fine”....Narrator: it was not fine

This one was suggested by my boo @galacticsirensong: “Listen I want a carnival AU now with Cal going on the ferris wheel alone cuz his date stood him up. He bought allllll these tickets and doesn’t wanna waste them. So he decides to hop on the ride but the carnie operator is like yelling into the crowd STEP RIGHT UP! STEP RIGHT UP!  ANYONE WANNA GO FOR A RIDE WITH THIS GINGER? WE GOT A LONELY GINGER, LADIES!! ANY TAKERS??

Merrin is like at her aunt’s palm reading tent nearby (see this is where I continue to push forward that Asajj is Merrin’s aunt agenda leave me alone). She overhears the ruckus and notices  Cal is completely mortified. So she just squeezes through the narrow gaps of people, goes up the steps, takes a ticket from Cal and hands it to the operator without a word.”

Cal barely has time to register her before she sits down and starts moving, and he like clears throat um--

Merrin’s just like I hate this ride operator he’s always trying to embarrass people like that so I am doing this out of spite

Then they kind of notice one another may be cute and well Cal’s stumbling over his words like he do, and Merrin pretends not to be flustered by it because she is into that shit, and once the ride is over....Merrin’s just like well let’s spend the rest of these tickets

Because you know, out of spite for Cal being stood up

AND THAT’S IT

Harry Potter:

Either them being students or teachers. But Cal is a NERD happy go lucky Hufflepuff and Merrin is a typical broody Slytherin. Perhaps they have to work together either on curriculum or a class project, and neither are really that happy about it. I could see Cal trying to be overly positive about the situation just to be able to get through this because she is such an edgelord, and Merrin could take it as him being insincere or fake. (IF they are students, you can play around with Merrin rolling her eyes at Cal being a teacher’s pet, but then at the same time she is a total know it all LOL).

(ALSO could Cal still have his psychometry powers I know this an AU but come on it’s a crossover we do what we want who is to say an Earth wizard can’t do such a thing)

They could come from tragic pasts that they are very reluctant to share…but somehow they manage to start…getting along? Lol I love the thought of them rolling their eyes at the other houses like omfg Ravenclaws are such know it alls or the Gryffindors are such bruts. Maybe there’s Quidditch involved…only adding to the rivalry. But that is for YOU to decide, isn’t it???

Old West:

Sorry I am on some Red Dead Redemption shit but I simply cannot help myself but to shove all of my favorite things together alright. (@namesonboats I am looking at chuuu 🤠) Cal is apart of some kind of roaming squad (IF you chose a band of outlaws I wouldn’t be opposed), and they are in this one town for a bit. He starts to go to a general store where a Russian aunt and niece run it, and a lot of people just assume Merrin doesn’t even speak any English and dismiss her a lot of the time. But maybe he’s seen her at one of the saloons or tending to one of her horses and thinks that there’s more to her than what she is presenting to the world (and lol she is prettyyyy 😍)

He goes into the store with Greez one day, and he ends up asking Merrin something, and Greez is like lol why do you bother she isn’t going to answer you. Cal is like pssssh this girl is trolling all of you I just know it. Merrin looks at him like he’s grown a second head, and then Asajj comes out and starts to put on the charm and Merrin just yeets right out of there.

Perhaps Cal was wrong. Maybe she didn’t understand him, but that doesn’t mean that he wouldn’t want to get to know her. So he just continues to go to the store anyway and keeps talking to her all the time (We all know the boy can ramble let’s go). Maybe he even runs into her at other parts of town, or even on the outskirts where she’s taken her horse out, and he happens upon her while he’s on his. She does some target practice with a pistol and he’s impressed. He wished he at least knew her name.

There’s a Russian woman in their group, and Cal asks her about a few Russian phrases, to which she complies, but then asks why. Cal is all SUPER red and is just like LOL NO REASON K THX BYEEEE!

Cal goes into the shop, tries out a phrase or two, attempts a hello and asks her how she is doing. He feels like he is making a fool of himself, but then he swears out of the corner of his eye he sees her smirk. He asks her name in Russian, and she sighs…so Cal assumes he’s asked her wrong he clearly couldn’t remember it right and looks at the ground. “Merrin,” she says. His heart races. Asajj comes out and interrupts them OF COURSE.

The gang wants to move on soon, but Cal isn’t ready to let go. It seems silly because practically every interaction they’ve had have been one sided conversations, but he still goes to the store nonetheless and tells her they are going to be leaving. She looks at him poignantly, and he still just doesn’t know if she’s pretending or really doesn’t understand. He dips his cowboy hat to her and tells her it was nice meetin’ ya milady dasvidaniya.

Merrin shouldn’t be disappointed in the American man who came into her shop all the time to annoy her, really it doesn’t matter. How could it? He was really just a nuisance more than anything else, that Calvin ‘Cal’ Kestis.

But, he was truly the only person that she could recall in what feels like a lifetime that looked her in her eyes, talked to her like a person, even if it was at annoying constancy. And GD he even learned some Russian just for her...but she tries to just forget about that handsome, redheaded cowboy all the same.

Merrin is tasked to travel to a few towns over to pick up a delivery for the store, and after the long journey wherein she is going to have to spend the night anyway, so she decides to go to one of the saloons. She rolls her eyes as she sips at her whiskey because more than one man has approached her and thought she was a hooker.

A brawl breaks out and she rolls her eyes harder. Stupid men. All of them were just children.

But then this man comes in the middle of it and tries to break it up. His voice sounds familiar, but she thinks he’s hearing things. She tries to tune it out, but notices he gets punched anyway, and his hat flies off. Yeah, no there was no denying that red hair. She wants to leave, but she can’t; she’s stuck on her stool. Once the fight finally ceases, Cal is with that small man he came into the store with sometimes as he retrieves his hat. He talks with the short man, and she thinks he’s going to leave, and he is just going to be lost to her again, but then he seems to stay for another drink, probably wanting to nurse that black eye he’s no doubt going to get.

He sits at one of the stools and downs a drink. Oh lordt should she go up to him now? After everything she’s lost, it seemed ridiculous to do such a thing, but she finds her feet moving of her own volition. Oh GOD what is she even going to say.

“That is quite the punch you took,” she says, sitting down next to him, “I probably have something in my supplies that could help with that.”

Cal whips his head to her and quickly voices her name, which she was certain he was going to forget. And he seemed most certainly shocked that yes she does indeed know English and has this whole time.

There’s smiles all around as he offers to buy her a drink and she accepts. But she also has to make fun of how terrible his Russian was.

Lol was that enough of the plot for you. AND I MEAN GD I’VE DONE IT AGAIN—

Treasure Hunters:

SHUT UP NO I AM NOT JUST THINKING OF ALL MY FAV VIDEO GAMES THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH UNCHARTED GET THAT THOUGHT OUT OF YOUR HEAD. Cal and Greez are a typical team that also work a lot with Cere.

For this new job, they have to go to Russia for like whatever treasure is there, and Cere has recruited a new member, a surly woman named Merrin that was apparently an expert in Russian history and treasure and all of that (maybe even chemistry or something too because our girl is SMORT). But she is mean and yeah maybe he thinks it’s a little hot but that is besides the point. Why is she even here him and Greez have always gotten along just fine. Do they have to steal something from a Russian big wig crime boss, yeah most probably. Merrin looks WAY too sethy 🥵 in her dress as she tries to distract the men Cal needs to get around…they get caught of course and wooo, calamity ensues.

They get to the location, and whenever they have to make camp, she is always off by herself, even when Cere invites her to sit with them.

Come on this is also a PERFECT opportunity for Cal to show off some parkour skills. And Merrin doesn’t notice them. No, she doesn’t notice them at all she is adamantly not looking—dammit, she looked.

They get deeper and deeper into this job. Cal opens up about how he was an orphan and Greez took him in when they are checking out one of the rooms in this abandoned site. He doesn’t really know why he’s telling her this, but he’s just caught her sad face too many times for him to not think about what was going on in her head. But she’s made it clear she’s only here for the job and doesn’t really care about any of them, so this whole venture was useless anyway.

They still bicker, oH LORDT do they fight about everything. Cere and Greez just assume they are going to bone if they haven’t already. Cal gets all defensive when Greez asks about it like NO…where did you even GET that from omG.

They find the underground area they’ve been trying to get to…and of COURSE the gang gets separated. Cal and Merrin end up in a room they can’t find their way out of. They are STUCK. WtF Cal is stuck with this grump and Merrin is stuck with this way too enthused arrogant asshole—

They try all their options and argue the whole time. They don’t know how long they’ve been stuck in here, but Cal still insists she has the last of the water. And she insists he has the last protein bar. Maybe there was only one bed roll you never know....

Merrin doesn’t know why, but she opens up to him about how she got into all of this. Her mother, that is how her parents met in this deathtrap of an industry, was always fascinated in this treasure in particular. In some sort of stupid way, she thought she was honoring her…it sounds stupid now.

It doesn’t sound stupid, Cal declares.

And look at that they have to WoRk ToGEtHeR to get out and there haaas to be close proximity and touching for that to happen. Come on now I know you have it in you. SOOOOO, yeah that was that one.

Was that enough?? I am so freaking sorry that I pretty much wrote out like almost all the plot to like…most of these. I would start with an idea and before I knew it—I was several paragraphs deep and what is my life. No excuses…I have no way to defend myself…don’t look at me

ANYONE out there, please, if any of these ideas inspire you, take them and roll with it! You in no way are obligated to follow my outlines directly. Take it, make it your own, or follow my plot, IDC, as long as we are getting some more Merrical content out there! Hell, you could even do a combination, a continuation, whatever you want! I was having a pretty shitty week, so this was honestly a fun distraction for me to put together. I can’t believe I went this insane...but actually no I am not.

And if anyone has any more ideas, don’t be shy! Comment on this post, DM me, or write into my ask box. I would love to get your thoughts out there for all of us to see! I am like so thrilled about the amount of Merricals coming out from the woodwork. YESSS, these space nerds just belong together no matter the universe! So I really hope this helped you anon! Would love to add to this list with all y’alls ideas!

Also, if any of you wanted to bounce these ideas or any other ideas you had, also please don’t hesitate to reach out! I am always here to have a fic sesh, believe you me.

Alright, well.. I’ve rambled long enough for the next 500 years, I’ll just…see myself out.

And I am just going to tag some of my Merrical peeps (and ones I know that are around even if we haven't talked before) if you guys are at all interested in writing or contributing! 🥰

@namesonboats @believe-in-alderaan @misfitz-7 @myfaenwy @starryjediknight @dolcid @wayfaringjedi @separatist-apologist @mistressorinoco

[tgcg]

tell your loved ones

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 12:01 --

TG: hey im on the john

JOHN: hey, dave is taking a dump.

TG: taking a shit just so were clear

JADE: jeez!!!!!!! even when im not online i have to hear about it

TG: i know you care so youre first to know

JOHN: i'm just giving you a heads up for the bajillion messages you will definitely have about this when you get home.

EB: god, thank you. that is awesome. dave fans everywhere are gonna go NUTS for this truth nugget.

EB: hey, i am at the store with jade!

TG: tell her the news

EB: i did as soon as you first pinged me, don't worry.

TG: hell yeah see you just fucking get it

JADE: well tell him i say congrats!

EB: she says congrats.

EB: also that you left your "yeah! woo!" machine at her place.

EB: and that you are gross and smell like a dog took a dump on a fart even when you aren't crapping during our conversations.

TG: goddamn

EB: jk that last bit was me heheh. but she nodded!

EB: so anyways, a yeah woo machine?

EB: what the hell even IS that?

JADE: its more or less a machine that yeahs and woos

TG: its basically a machine that yeahs and woos

EB: ok, yeah, that is pretty much exactly what jade said too. apparently this is supposed to be obvious.

JADE: its pretty self explanatory!

TG: pretty self explanatory stuff

TG: anyways im gonna tell karkat this time i think im ready for that

EB: oh shit (LOL), that's a pretty big deal, right? good luck dude.

--

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 12:03 --

TG: ok karkat can i be unbelievably candid with you is dj crabapple ready for this

TG: this is a really big deal for me but like no pressure

CG: SHIT, IS EVERYTHING OK?

CG: DO I NEED TO COME OVER THERE.

TG: no no its good i just really need to confess something

CG: WHATEVER IT IS, TELL ME. I'M HERE.

TG: alright

TG: deep breath strider

--

TG: im dropping mad logs like bars in the ablution block vantas

TG: shit is on fire

TG: downright heretical like a shat outta hell

TG: and since im feeling penitent i figure our pesterlogs are pretty much akin to a confessional booth right

CG:

--

-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 12:04 --

TT: Hey Dave.

TT: Are you, by any chance, taking a shit right now?

TG: damn word spreads fast on the information superhighway

TT: Yes, I have had the news forwarded to me via this bountiful virtual dimension of knowledge and culture we call the World Wide Web by a fellow enthusiast, one ectoBiologist.

TT: Frankly I'm heartbroken you didn't come to me about it first.

TT: Please, divulge to your loving sister the nature of your bowel movements, in exhaustive detail. Highlights in a notarized list, an overall ranking grade of your experience, whether you would recommend it to your friends, et cetera. These would be among my most pertinent avenues of inquiry.

TG: you were next on the mailing list rose im already on it

TG: boutta weave a verbal tapestry no holds barred just for you about my rambunctious foray down in brown town

TG: stay tubed

TT: Thank god. I don't know what I would do if I couldn't peruse your commodal follies like the morning gazette.

TG: dont act like this has educational value rose

TG: we all know my daily bullshit has got a laugh track

TG: like damn what kind of gazettes are you getting

TT: The best kind, Dave. Only the best kind.

TG: thanks for the vote of confidence

TG: wait gimme a sec karkat pinged

TT: Of course. I understand it's quite a big deal for you.

--

CG: OK.

CG: SINCE THIS APPARENTLY SKIRTS THE FRESHEST BUDS OF OUR BRO-DOM'S BURGEONING FROND NUB, I *ALSO* HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO SHARE.

CG: I HOPE YOUR REFLECTIVE ABLUTION VAULT IS STOCKED WITH FUCKING RUMBLESPHERE TRANQUILIZERS, BECAUSE THIS EXCHANGE IS ABOUT TO GET SHITHIVE MAGGOTS.

CG: LISTEN CAREFULLY.

TG: whats up

--

CG: I AM ALSO ON THE LOAD GAPER RIGHT NOW.

TG: oh shiiit

CG: DON'T UNCLENCH YOUR EXPLOSIVE FUCKING SEED FLAP JUST YET, BECAUSE THERE'S *MORE*!

CG: I AM *ALSO* TAKING A CRAP.

TG: oh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

CG: OH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

[seokjinsonlyone]

most to least likely to want you to make the first move

tae: the thing about taehyung is that he's a coquettte like he 100% loves to be pursued like i swear this happened irl but it always feels like i'm making it up bc i can never find the post but i think in 2020 there was a time period of like a month or two and we missed him soooo bad and then one day he randomly popped up and was like yeah i be browsing through here but i ain't say nothing bc i liked seeing y'all say y'all miss me like 😐 so yeah he loves the thrill of it all he loves the thought of having you wrapped around his finger me thinks gonna tata mic in yo face until you have no choice but to conquer him

jk: we have him on record saying "if you want me, come get me" so there's that but also okay i know jk ain't super shy no more but at the same time social settings still aren't his forte like he still has trouble figuring out when to jump into conversations and you can definitely tell when he ain't got a single thought running through his brain so i feel like you initiating will take the pressure off also this man is literally a perfectionist and a procrastinator like i feel like he been done took so long to ask u out u not even interested no more gotta strike when the iron hot with this one skskkslks

joon: he loves people he loves making connections and he loves reciprocal energy so if he's feeling you and you reach out first i think he'd love that fr like someone bold not tiptoeing around him not afraid to express what they're feeling it's gon do it for him every time

suga: i bet yoon really doesn't mind either way like he's not afraid to go and get what he wants and he appreciates people with a similar mind set

jin: i don't think he's opposed to it it's just that he needs to have you figured out before there's any forward movement and then after he figures you out he needs to figure out how he feels about it and you if it's even worth progressing forward so if you were to interrupt that process by moving before he's ready it would confuse him and he'd be very hesitant bc he doesn't wanna just outright reject you but he doesn't wanna just go for it either LOL he just needs a lil time; if he already knew how he felt about you however you making the first move would be awesome it'd save him some time and energy

hobi: he wouldn't be mad at it right but i feel like he's more traditional with it like ugh i love him so much he's such a gentleman so i feel like he'd wanna do the whole asking out pick you up for your first date at your doorstep bouquet of flowers in tow like he doesn't mind you being bold so if u wanna be an obvious flirt or whatever do yo thang but i do think he wants to take the lead

jimin: don't get me wrong i know jimin likes to be liked he likes to know that you know he knows you like him 100% but i get the feeling he likes the allure of the chase even more like you coming on to him may intrigue him for a good time but if you really want him i get the feeling that you gotta play the long game like very much give and take tease play his game until he has no choice but to give into it

a/n: luh calm post sumn breezy sumn light sksskls crazy thing about this is i've had this idea and ranking in my drafts for like a year and then this morning i scrolled past and was like huh that makes sense and then my brain kicked into gear and told me why LOL sorry i'm slow as molasses but take this snack as apology and i maybe 👀 hopefully 🙏 may have something a little more substantial before the year ends <3

[artsycloudysleepy]

i am SEW sorry i forgot to make a pun......... i will try to leave you in STITCHES next time....... just NEEDLE me if i forget........... i feel cruel with all these puns, am i STRINGing you along............. this whole THREAD is going downhill........... i love isaSEW..............

sorry, i'm losing my thread.

good news! i have found you something else with your help, cat-coded one! hope you're not....... (s)kittish if i put it near you :3

you may see our new issue we are facing! is it:

a) a tatty pile of felt like you asked for

b) a rock with a hashtag on it

c) a block that plays a sharp musical note (and which note)

d) a baked potato

e) a burnt bean

f) a grain of rice with a tattoo

g) a secret seventh thing???

h) all of the above (????)

edit: a bagel??? donut???

only you can tell me, dear prisoner..........................

plonk. you also have whiskers and cat mouth now :)

sends in mal du pays through your brain cells

why would you DO THIS /silly

now i gotta draw mdp!!! why!!!

(a present in return:)

(for the record that last image is it hating a croissant. i cannot draw croissant)

edit: ooh forgot i did this a while back as part of a loop animatic

mal-du-peace out :D

[jjungkooksthighs]

No. No. Nooo!!!!! I feel like I've been waiting 50 years for this chapter, only for you to leave it on such a horrific cliffhanger!! There is no way you're gonna kill off alpha Jungkook! I refuse to believe it. Honestly, I felt my heart plummet into my stomach when I read that cliffhanger. A part of me was in such disbelief I had to re-read the last paragraph. I'm in a state of shock right now. Wtf just happened!

Throughout the last few chapters of lead up to the battle, I always thought JK was a little too cocky about his fighting ability. And while I knew he could easily beat Tae and Jimin, I always thought Yoongi was a wildcard. He seems to be a much better fighter and that he could possibly beat JK. So a part of me was a little worried for JK. I was actually wondering if he could lose to Yoongi in the story, and what the story would look like if that happened. But then you started doing all the alpha!jungkook asks, which seemed to take place after the battle. So that kind of lulled me into a false security of "oh he wins the fight". Even though nothing in the asks confirmed he won. While reading this chapter, I was kind of expecting Yoongi to jump in somewhere. But he didn't. Until the very end. And now I'm left stunned speechless. I really hope that it doesn't take another 8 months to find out if Jungkook survives the fight! My sanity can't handle it. I completely understand why it was so important to you to get this fight right, and I definitely think you nailed it. But I think now the pressure falls on the Jungkook/Yoongi battle, so I fear it will take you just as long to write the next chapter. But I feel like it wouldn't fit the story if Jungkook dies. The whole story has been lead up to him claiming her and the really freakin' awesome smut scene that is supposed to follow it. And if he dies, I feel like I would be jipped out of what the story was doing for 13 chapters. And if Yoongi wins that means he forcefully claims and rapes OC over and over again. I'm not sure that would be a good rest of the story! LOL So I'm pretty sure Jungkook will win. I'm like 80/20 on Jungkook winning over Yoongi. But now I'm thinking what ifs. What if Jungkook does lose to Yoongi, but can't handle the thought of losing OC, so he goes rogue, steals OC, and they run away together, forever to be hunted by Yoongi. See now my mind is wandering all over the place with what could happen in the next chapter. This is why I hope it doesn't take 8 months to find out. I will probably pull out all my hair by then!

A horrific ending, you say? Oh dear… that’s not good. Hard to hear that something I wrote was horrific. :/

Anyway, It has been a little while since COC was updated, but as I went over in my author’s note, it was important to me that this chapter was done right and that it was everything that I envisioned in my head. This chapter and the next one both were one of the first ideas I had for this story, so I wasn’t happy with what I was producing prior to posting.

Of course, being that I am a very self-critical person, I wasn’t entirely happy with how this one came out. I felt like I could have done it better, but it came to a point where I just couldn’t stand to keep deleting what I had anymore, and so I made myself keep going until this chapter was finished through a 3-4 day period.

It seems like what most talking about is that ending. It’s not a kind of ending I’ve ever written before, but then again, I’ve always tried to challenge myself to being in new elements and facets to my writing so that I can continue to develop it.

You seem very worried about Jungkook, but I think it would assuage you a little if you remember all the things that your alpha has promised to you and what he’s told you about his seasoned status in combat.

After all, one does not come to be the Lead/Pack Alpha unless all other alphas submit/yield to him. For that, he would have to battle any alpha that tried to take his title/rank.

Even Yoongi.

Recall that Jungkook has asked you to trust in him. To believe in him. For his sake, you should.

Also, the next update won’t take months. I promise.

[toorumochi]

100 OTP QUESTIONS: KaruShuu 3/4

Hello! (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡ I wrote 100 OTP Questions about KaruShuu, and I'll post them here! I'll divide those into 4 parts, here is part 3/4, hope you enjoy! ♡

51. Does either of them know how to fight? - Oh absolutely, both can fight

52. What do they do for Valentine's Day? - ...I meannnnn isn’t it obvious?

53. Who swears more? - Lmao, Shuu does but it ends that way:

“Ah Shit”, while dropping something, and Karma then goes: “Watch your fucking language, Shuu”

54. Who has the better comebacks? - Karma but as well as Shuu, please their arguments and comebacks are legendary

55. Who would start a fight with another parent at a bake sale? - KARMA KARMA KARMA!!!!!!!!!PLEASE AND THEN SHUU TRYING TO HOLD HIM BACK OF COURSE NOT LIKE KARMA WAS PHYSICALLY ATTACKING THEM, BUT BY AWESOME COMEBACKS LIKE COOL DADS DO AND LIKE DESTROY THE PARENTS WITH WORDS OFC WITHOUT CURSING TO THIS POINT THAT THE OTHER PARENTS WERE SORRY THAT THEY WERE EVER BORN

56. Who reads buzzfeed? - Please 😭 Karma is a whore for buzzfeed

57. Who is the hopeless romantic? - Karma likes to be dramatic and Shuu says it’s dumb but finds it hilarious

58. Do either of them know how to do a handstand? - Hell yeah! But since Karma works out more than Shuu (Shuu likes to be a pretty boy okay and Karma is the muscular Greek God, It is what it is, I don’t make the rules), he is more muscular but both can do it.

59. Who can rap better? - While throwing arguments and comebacks? Hell yeah, both are rap gods at that

60. Do either of them want to go skydiving? - Karma would do that, but Shuu is 110% sure that Karma would shit his pants as soon as they would go up and Karmas arguments were, “I was in space Shuu, there is no way I would do that”

61. What do they usually text/talk over the phone about? - OMG OMG PLS THIS TOO:

As for Karma, he likes to talk about random theories with Shuu and shuu gets a bit annoyed when he calls in the middle of him working but oh well he finds it cute too, so that’s what happened lately:

Karma: *calls Shuu*

Shuu: Karma, please, you know you can’t just call in the middle of work- this better be important.

Karma: Bees don’t have lungs.

Shuu: *long pause* Tell me everything.

Oh and about texting, here some randoms:

Karma, texting Shuu while he is at work: I’ll seduce you with interesting scientific facts

Karma: I don’t like it (They were talking about smth they need to buy but Karma didn’t like it)

Shuu: You don’t like anything

Karma: I like sleep and you, oh and sleeping with you ;)

Karma: let me leave hickeys all over the places of your body only I can see

Shuu: my mF COWORKER ALMOST SAW THIS

Shuu: I swear I hate my coworkers, I need some motivation not to kill anyone today.

Karma: I can’t fuck you if you’re in prison

Shuu: ...makes sense.

Shuu: Fuck that honestly

Karma: Fuck me honestly

Karma: Ugh, you’re so pretty when you are nice

Shuu: ...what am I when I’m not nice-

Karma: hot as fuck

*they had an argument*

Karma: I still love you

Shuu: Even at my worst?

Karma: especially at your worst

Karma: Oh my god I’m dating u

Karma: No wait, we are maRRIED-

Karma: like you’re mine

Karma: holy fuck

Karma: wow

Karma: can u believe how lucky I am

Shuu: ...That’s very sweet but Karma- we’ve been together for over 10 years- what is this all so suddenly-

Karma: you’re so cute I could just eat you out

Karma: I mean up*

Karma: No I don’t

Shuu: kaRMA WHAT THE FUCK

Karma: Do you like me as much as pizza

Shuu: ...I would give up pizza for you

Karma: Woah Woah Woah-

Karma: Let’s not get crazy

Karma: Pizza’s like your favourite thing on earth

Shuu: Yes but I’d rather live without pizza than live without you

Karma: …

Karma: I literally started crying in the middle of work; I love you so much

62. Who is the dramatic one? - PLEASE: KARMA.

63. Is either one confrontational? - Nah, they try to keep it as calm as possible so they try not to confront each other

64. What is their favourite cuddle position? -  Big spoon and little spoon as well as koala position and laying on top of each other

65. Who is their favourite musical artist(s)? - I have no clue; They change it every week and I gave up

66. What are their parenting styles? - They want their children to feel no pressure when it comes to grades, as well as they want their kids to feel loved and appreciated.They also want to be authoritative for them; they just want the best for their children. (I stan KaruShuu as parents)

67. Who would be the more laid back one? - Hm, depends on what

68. Who listens to more vulgar music? - Shuu lmao

69. Do either of them have secrets even the other doesn’t know? - Maybe more of insecurities rather than secrets, especially Shuu but Karma has his own problems as well that he doesn’t want Shuu to worry about him

70. Who is their go to couple for a double date? - Karma would be down for a double date together with Rio and Terasaka, and Shuu likes them both so he wouldn’t mind

71. Do they tip the waiter/waitress on their date? - If they are nice, yes of course, but if the waiters are rude- yo, they pay KARMA I don’t make the rules lol

72. How do they work out a fight? - they don’t fight, but they have funny arguments that they can quickly solve since neither wants the other one to be mad or sad

73. Who brings home an illegal pet? - Bet Karma would bring in some toxic ass iguana or sum like that and Shuu just screeching in horror

74. What side of the bed do each of them sleep on? -

Karma: left side (from the perspective of laying there)

Shuu: left (He sleeps on Karma. No jk he is sleeping on the right side)

75. What is their favorite photo of them two together? - Karma running away his face is blurred due to him laughing and a mad Shuu running behind him after he opened a gift from Karma that exploded with confetti and some kind of party foam

Hope you enjoyed! This was part 3/4 of the 100 OTP Questions of KaruShuu! <3

[foxymoxynoona]

Funny story: I’ve had constant headaches for two weeks straight so my optometrist told me I tired my eyes out so much my optic nerves were cramping. So = limited time in front of screens. All of this to say I’ve read your chapters through the speech option on my phone (or as I call it “the cheap version of audible”) thanks to someone mentioning it a while ago on your blog (thank you soldier!). Girl… I listened to the last chapter of meadow… I’m so glad no one speaks English in my family😭😭. The last part would’ve been an awkward one to explain😅. But AAAAH JK as pack leader😭 I’m not ready for this story to be over, nor any other story tbh. Every time you finish a story I feel like I’m going through a breakup. I literally dyed my hair this morning as my crazy breakup hair meltdown. It is now burgundy red, like my bleeding heart.

Okay bullshit aside, I took advantage of the situation and listened to Flux as well. The middle portion of the chapter was just a cat/dog/animal appreciation hymn and I STAND BY THAT! I want to go to a cat cafe so bad😭😭. Also, all the guys seem to be pressuring JK a bit too much but at the same time you can’t blame them either. There is no right or wrong, just a lot of broken trust that needs to be rebuilt. I definitely get why you always said the second book was a crazy ride before it came out. A friend of mine shocked me saying she’s just started little bean and she’s going crazy about Sasha fucking Hudson the Australian. Cute innocent child, thinking that will be the worst😖

Wish you a happy week! Well, since February sucks I wish you a soon-end-to-this-month-and-great begging of the next one ASAP!

🌸

Omgggg of all chapters to listen to with audio for the first time. the only worse would be if it's my voice reading it to you LOL. I'm so sorry about your headaches and strained eyes though!!! I get eye strain headaches too, i have sexy oversized blue-light glasses I wear that help me. Burgundy red is a great hair color, I bet it looks awesome!! I tried to make mine pink with this overtone non-bleach hair color, but it just kind of made it a pretty dark red like that too. I got tired of using the color every shower though so I gave up haha.

I want to go to a cat cafe toooo. My brother lives in Japan and has promised to take me to bunny island and cat island when we visit someday.

That's so cute about your friend. I totally get that feeling too of like wow, everyone was so young and innocent. And honestly, someday you will all feel that way about THIS book too, you'll be like "oof 😬 remember all that drama? god they were such babies back then..."

[snippy-tano]

thanks for the tag @starrylothcat!!

Were you named after anyone?

Nope! But I do have the same initials as my dad, which was my parents way of like honoring relatives. My siblings and I all have initials that match someone in my family.

When was the last time you cried?

Hmm, I don’t know for certain but it wasn’t that long ago. I’m pretty sure it was watching the last episode of “The Good Bad Mother.” Lol

Do you have kids?

Lol no. My roommate has two cats tho and we joke about being their moms so does that count?

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Unfortunately no. Jk Jk yes I use it all the time lol

What’s the first thing you notice about other people?

Probably their smile and like @starrylothcat, the way they treat others.

What’s your eye color?

Blue!

Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings! I’m not a big scary movie person. I don’t mind suspense and intensity, but seeing a movie for the purpose of getting scared isn’t on my list of things to do lol. So definitely happy endings!

Any special talents?

I have this weird ability to come up with titles of like research papers. I used to do it for mine and my college roommate all the time. Then when my sister was in college, for her and her best friend. She would just give me a quick synopsis of what she was trying ti say and boom, awesome title coming right up.

Where were you born?

Michigan!

What are your hobbies?

Writing (obvi), binge watching kdramas, kpop, crochet (still learning!) and video games!

Have any pets?

Same two cats mentioned above. Their names are Melon and Mochi :)

What sports do/have you played?

I danced for fifteen years growing up (ballet, tap, jazz, lyrical, pointe, etc.) and I also played volleyball in middle school and high school. I have actually gotten back into playing volleyball with a club and it’s been a lot of fun! I’m very out of shape, but this will definitely help!

How tall are you?

5’3” :(

Favorite subject in school?

English and history. Big surprise there lol

Dream job?

Oh man, I don’t know. I may be 26, but I still don’t really know what I want to do. If I could pick anything, maybe a writer of some kind? I don’t know. TBD on this one lol

No pressure tags! @pro-fangirls-unsocial-life @rain-on-kamino @morganas-pendragons @dangraccoon @luna-schaf @ceapa-mica @singswan-springswan @marvel-starwars-nerd

15 Questions

Thanks for the tag, @metalatl 💕

Were you named after anyone?

->Nope! My middle name is my grandma’s name. But my first name isn’t in my family.

When was the last time you cried?

->A few days ago (work is stressful) 😭

Do you have kids?

->No, just cats 🐈‍⬛🐈

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

->YES ugh I’m too sarcastic for my own good sometimes.

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

->How they treat other people, their sense of humor

What’s your eye color?

->Brown

Scary movies or happy endings?

->Both! I love a good scary movie, but I’m also a sucker for happy endings.

Any special talents?

->It’s more of an annoying talent - I love pointing out all the invasive animals and plants on hikes LOL

Where were you born?

->California 🌞

What are your hobbies?

->Baking, writing, hiking, gaming

Have any pets?

->Two cats 💕

What sports do/ have you played?

->I played soccer, basketball and did dance as a kid. I don’t play sports now, I’m not really a sports person. 😅

How tall are you?

->5’4 I’m short

Favorite subject at school?

->Art and history, which is funny bc I ended up with a science degree 🤷🏻‍♀️👩‍🔬

Dream job?

->I’d love to be a zookeeper one day! 🐼

NPT: @snippy-tano @techs-stitches @anxiouspineapple99 @pb-jellybeans @toomanybandstocare @littlemissmanga @notthatfanfictionwriter @chicknstripz @happy-beeeps @starboytech @starqueensthings @king-chaos-world @deejadabbles @blueink-bluesoul and anyone else!

[that-soccer-guru]

I've never sent pictures through asks so lemme know if these didn't send properly lmao but basically here's Julie Foudy's predictions for the locked in players for the Olympic roster:

GK/Defense: Alyssa, Abby, Crystal, Becky, Kelley, Sonnett

Midfield/Forward: Julie, Lindsey, Sam, Rose, Christen, Tobin

Probable (not exactly bubble players but players who haven't seen the field long enough to be considered locked in): Alex, Rapinoe, Carli

And now here are Julie Foudy's selected bubble players.

Defense: Tierna, Ali, Midge

Midfield: Andi, Jaelin, Kristie

Forward: Lynn, Sophia, Cat

oh DOPE.

Okay my impression right away is to be petty, so here goes

THIS IS FOR ALL OF YOU BITCHES WHO SAID 'lol who thinks of CP as a midfielder' WELL GUESS WHAT I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE! AND TOBIN TOO? IT'S LIKE I WON THE PETTY LOTTERY. SUCK ON THAT PREDICTION Y'ALL ✌🏻(jk I love you guys but still, I feel like Holt screaming VINDICATIOOOONNNNN).

ALSO PETTY X2 ON THE PEOPLE WHO GAVE ME SHIT FOR STARTING OUT WITH ONLY 3 FORWARDS FOR MY ROSTER. BITE MY BUUUUTT AGAIN. (still, with like, love)

But also uh, same ol same ol tbh? I'm not particularly jazzed at bringing bag o' bones Lloyd—can you say "geriatrics united"? —but aside from that this looks exactly like what I expected this team would come up with. I wish I could say bench those who shall not be named but alas, not in this time crunch, so tried and true is the way.

Honestly I'm way more interested in the bubble players here! If Glass Ankles KO can keep it together, that would bring it down to at most 1 of the bubble defenders that can be brought along. After yesterday's game with Colombia (nerfed as we were) I can't discount Ali Krieger and I apologize for shit talking a queen. If Tierna can stay healthy she'd be a good player to bring along because she provides some solid backing for the CB position (although Broon and Dahlkemper are p healthy, we advocate for solid turn taking here). I'd love to see Midge because IF none of the bubble forwards get brought along/there are injuries she's the perfect player to drop in the forward line.

Kristie Mewis would be my pick to bring along just because so far she's been on fire! And I'd love to see how she can bring some different versatility and ball handling under pressure for the midfield. I'm also a sucker for the Mewis Sisters on the field at the same time and I'd like if Vlatko could give me that. Andi Sullivan would provide a good playmaking/winger spot but she also needs to be wrapped in bubblewrap nowadays which suuucks. Jaelin still has her whole career ahead of her, so missing the Olympics wouldn't be the worst (bc of how stacked the midfield is), I'd take Kmew over here and let her develop for future tournaments.

Get👏🏻Lynn👏🏻Williams👏🏻Off👏🏻This👏🏻Team👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Amazing skill should be rewarded with a spot in the NT when there's just no payoff for it. Lynn is a GREAT striker and her speed is an asset, in the nwsl. But she couldn't find the net if the goalie suddenly dropped dead and the defenders were swept away by a tornado. At least not without missing said net 3x first. It's okay to not fit here. It doesn't dimish her skills, it doesn't make her any less amazing, she just doesn't fit the team right now, no harm in that. Need I say anything more about Sophia Smith other than bringing up the "paper skin and glass bones" meme again? Kid needs to be sealed away for a while and deal with her injuries PROPERLY before being considered for any more rosters/camps. And not just for the good of the team, for her own fucking health. Just ask KO how pushing through injuries worked out for her.

Finally, as the self appointed president of the Catarina Macario fan club, bring the child. This forward core, unlike the midfield, I've literally nicknamed the retirement home. Catarina lifts up the players around her when she's on the field, she and Rose are a deadly combination, even Pinoe played better with her on the field. She brings a great spark to the team, she works hard, I think that this tournament would be good for her. The shortage in good forwards nonwithstanding, I think not bringing her would be a mistake I'm gonna advocate for leaving Lloyd at home but I might get killed for it.

So, this roster looked like what I expected, but the bubble players are gonna make this really exciting! Also someone correct me if I'm wrong but shouldn't they being 2 GKs? Bc uh, where the other one at? I'll campaign outside the uswnt hq and vlatko's house to never bring Jane Campbell to anything else, just waiting on confirmation.

Thank you for the pics dude! (thank you to everyone who sent me the roster too! I grabbed the top ask but Y'all are AWESOME)

[az3422]

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PeppersGhost's Proposal, I guess.

K/O Failure Scenario Hub » SPC-001 » PeppersGhost's Proposal, I guess.

rating: +263+–X

You are now connected.

[13:04] Topic is "Fuck credentials, fuck passwords, fuck secrecy, fuck everything. Just, fuck in general. Fuck like it's the end of the world, because it is. Fuck me, please oh lord im so alone | Welcome! If you're still alive to read this, good luck finding someone to talk to."

[13:04] DrTsega: Hello? Anyone here?

[19:32] DrTsega: I'll take that as a no, then.

[22:48] DrTsega: I can't be the only one left.

[22:49] DrTsega: Hey Queg, are you still running?

[22:49] Queg: Hello, DrTsega. What can I do for you?

[22:49] DrTsega: thank god

[22:50] DrTsega: !backscroll 10

[22:50] Queg: [04:33] SgtYitay: I've looked through the entire building

[22:50] Queg: [04:33] SgtYitay: Everyone is dead

[22:50] Queg: [04:33] AgentCaleb: No shit

[22:50] Queg: [04:33] AgentCaleb: I know nobody uses this thing anyway but DAMN it's been EMPTY

[22:50] Queg: [04:34] AgentCaleb: You think it's just the two of us?

[22:50] Queg: [04:37] AgentCaleb: You still there

[22:50] Queg: [04:39] AgentCaleb: Saaarrrrge

[22:50] Queg: [04:50] SgtYitay has been disconnected (Ping timeout)

[22:50] Queg: [18:22] AgentCaleb: oooookay well i think im gonna call it quits then. If anyone sees this tell my husband I love him

[22:50] Queg: [18:22] AgentCaleb: lol jk i'll see that dogfaced whore in hell 👍🕶👍

[22:51] DrTsega: hmm

[22:52] DrTsega: !seen Agent Caleb

[22:52] Queg: AgentCaleb was last seen 8 days ago saying: lol jk i'll see that dogfaced whore in hell 👍🕶👍

[22:52] DrTsega: shit

[22:53] DrTsega: shitballs

[22:53] DrTsega: shitmonkeys

[22:55] DrTsega: shit the nail on the head

[22:55] DrTsega: okay

[11:16] DrTsega: Good morning. If anyone sees this just ping me, I'll stay around as long as I can.

[09:48] DrTsega: I'm still here

[14:26] DrTsega: !quote CaptSumner

[14:26] Queg: CaptSumner: I may be shitting out of my pee parts but FUCK YOU I will WALK IT OFF

[14:26] DrTsega: haha what

[14:27] DrTsega: Good times, good times.

[14:28] DrTsega: I wish Sumner wasn't lying dead in the bathroom

[14:29] DrTsega: or anywhere, for that matter

[14:33] DrTsega: but especially the bathroom

[08:01] DrTsega: I'm still here

[12:55] DrTsega: Man, if anyone sees this later I'm going to look really pitiful

[05:51] DrTsega: okay I can't sleep so I guess I might as well do this

[05:52] DrTsega: !settopic Check the backscroll. Look for "Start here"

[05:52] Topic is "Check the backscroll. Look for "Start here""

[05:52] DrTsega: Start here

[05:53] DrTsega: If you're still alive to read this, congratulations. You survived.

[05:54] DrTsega: You also have access to working internet and enough knowledge about shadow governments to visit a (previously) private communications channel, so, hey, good on you.

[05:55] DrTsega: As a reward for being such a cool and alive person, I'm going to tell you the story of how we ended the world.

[05:55] DrTsega: For context, though, you'll probably want to start by reading a certain document…

[05:56] DrTsega: Actually, you can probably just skim it. A lot of this won't make sense to you anyway, so who cares?

[05:57] DrTsega: Anyway. I'll go find the link. If memory serves, they declassified everything when they realized we were all gonna die.

[06:13] DrTsega: How are these servers even still up? Isn't that just the craziest thing

[08:22] DrTsega: Found it.

NOTICE FROM THE CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE COORDINATION

AND PROJECTS OPERATION COMMAND OFFICE

There is nothing new to report regarding SPC-001 at this time.

Test subject displaying the results of his exposure to SPC-001.

Project #: SPC-001

Selachian Pugnātorial Capabilities: Individuals enhanced with SPC-001 display a dramatic improvement in pugilistic prowess and have consistently proven capable of easily dispatching 90% of squaloid entities in simulations, even with no prior training. Furthermore, SPC-001 subjects have reported a radical elevation in coastal requiescence position retention, even when under assault from extragranular sedimentary weaponry.

Project Components: SPC-001 is a manmade chemical substance which augments the biological strength and dexterity of human beings. After initial exposure to SPC-001, subjects will undergo a steady increase in muscle mass over the following 72 hours, accompanied by heightened energy levels and adroit perception of their surroundings. Increased lung capacity and resistance to deep-sea hydrostatic pressure are common side effects.

Following the DREAD PORPOISE COMMUNION and the subsequent activation of the ALL HANDS ON DECK PROTOCOL, SPC agents embedded in the food industry began introducing discreet amounts of SPC-001 into numerous products intended for public consumption. Centre researchers have projected a full global saturation of SPC-001 to be achieved by the year ████. In the event that the DREAD PORPOISE COMMUNION ends before global saturation can be achieved, more aggressive means of SPC-001 dispersal may be undertaken to prevent a complete End-of-World K/O Failure Scenario.

Nascency Impetus: On May 16, ████, all observed selachian entities across the globe simultaneously demanifested, including those in SPC captivity. No selachian entities or evidence of the continued presence of selachian entities have been observed since. A Maximum State of Emergency was declared soon after by the Executive Pugilist Assembly and the phenomenon was codified as the DREAD PORPOISE COMMUNION. It is the belief of the Assembly that the selachians are congregating in preparation for the FINAL CONFLICT, an event foretold by Elder Pugilord Azmanititas in the Centre's original constitutional documents in 1451.

[08:23] DrTsega: Did you get all that?

[08:23] DrTsega: No? Okay, I'll break it down for you.

[08:26] DrTsega: I was part of a group known as the Selachian Punching Centre. An organization dedicated to fighting the menace that plagued our oceans. "We punch underwater so you can live on the land." That's what we used to say.

[08:27] DrTsega: I know what you're thinking.

[08:29] DrTsega: Yes. It was us keeping you safe the entire time. The Centre safeguarded mankind for centuries. Civilization as we knew it wouldn't have been possible if we weren't around. Our influence was unparalleled, extending to every level of every government, changing the course of world events, yet remaining a complete secret from everybody, which was really quite tricky.

Then, one day, the selachian menace disappeared. Our immediate reaction was one of disbelief, followed by euphoria, followed by raucous celebration. We danced. We drank ourselves stupid. We sang the songs of our forefathers. The orgies weren't officially sanctioned, of course, but boy howdy-doo were they tremendous.

Sadly, our revelry wasn't meant to last.

"DREAD PORPOISE COMMUNION", the Assembly called it. The prophesied gathering of every selachian, big or small. Every sharp, slimy, putrid horror that haunted our dreams, coming together in one place to bring about the end of all other life on our beautiful, green planet.

"But fear not," said our trusted Assembly. They told us that the human race would fight back. They said that when the selachians returned with their armies and squaloid murder-drones, we would be ready.

And they were right. We were ready. Thanks to SPC-001, we managed to get the entire human race fighting fit. At first people were alarmed when everyone started getting super ripped for no apparent reason, but then they realized it was awesome and the panic died down. Within a few months, every man, woman, and child was a lean, mean, punching machine. Even babies had abs you could wash your clothes on. It seemed like everything was going fine.

And that's how it went for the first couple of years: fine. Sure, boxing had to be outlawed once folks could punch with the same Newtonian force as your average car crash, and there were a few riots now and then over tank top shortages, but for the most part everything felt normal.

Year three, people started getting antsy. We had kept ourselves busy at the Centre by devising new weapons for selachian warfare, but every innovation felt hollow with a lack of anything to use them on. We grew listless. Surely the assault would begin any day, right?

Year four. There was an aura of dread hanging over the whole organization. I remember sitting in the Site-71 cafeteria, eating pickled cabbage and creamed corn salads with my comrades, when I finally heard someone ask aloud what we'd all wondered in the dark corners of our heads.

"What if they don't come back?"

It was Simmons who said that, of course. Of course. I kicked him in the face—a punch would have really hurt him—but the damage was done. It's a scary thought, losing your purpose in life. Faced with that kind of existential ennui, it's no wonder that everyone responded by flipping their shit. Hersberger screamed and started smearing her salad all over her face. Gertzler stabbed his fork tines into his cheek with no visible emotion. Bühler just broke down and cried until his tears turned to blood.

But Schwartzentruber was downright fuming. Started shouting all sorts of obscenities. Said he'd shove his fist down Simmons' throat and rip out his toenails from the inside. And Simmons was all defensive, "you all were thinking it" and that kind of stuff. The two kept going at it. We shouldn't have just sat there and watched, but no one thought fists would ever get involved. How could we have known?

I remember the entire cafeteria going silent. One moment, the two colleagues had been arguing. Next thing we knew, Schwartzentruber was wearing Simmons' face around his arm like a bracelet. Fist went straight through. Nobody knew what to say. Hersberger just picked the brain matter from her hair. There was no finishing our dinner after something like that.

We all tried to write it off as an isolated incident, an unhinged employee who forgot his own strength in a moment of pure emotion. That illusion was shattered when reports started coming in from the other sites. Similar incidents were happening all over the world, and within a few weeks it wasn't just limited to SPC personnel. These arms were made for punching, and that's just what they did.

As time went on, it became harder for us to fight the itch. Punching bags were laughable at that point, so instead we invented punching blocks out of a titanium-concrete composite. Even fashioned them into the shape of selachians to help take the pain away, but it still wasn’t enough. Whenever we came close to a cure, someone would end up atomizing the equipment with a flick of the wrist and we'd have to start over.

Eventually, one day I walked into the cafeteria and found the floor covered in what must have been two inches of blood. I thought maybe a pipe had burst until I saw Bühler sitting on a table in the corner. Guy was slathered in viscera from top to bottom, and he was wearing human heads around his arms like they were snap bracelets. I asked if he wanted to talk, but he didn't answer. He just stared at his fists and trembled. Then, in the blink of an eye, he was dead, hole in his beefy chest so big I coulda driven my Grampy's Volvo through it.

That was what broke me, I think. I had never seen someone self-pugilate before. I didn't know how many people were still alive in Site-71, but I knew that I would not perpetuate the carnage. I gathered some medical supplies from the surgical augmentations lab and tied a tourniquet around my burgeoning, well-defined bicep. Carefully, I injected myself with the nearest substance that resembled an anesthetic and bid my guns goodbye.

Screaming, writhing, I hacked off my arm using only a pair of rusty toenail clippers. Needless to say, I was dizzy from pain, blood loss, and the 5 CCs of green apple daiquiri I'd injected myself with, but somehow I managed to drag myself back to the cafeteria to cauterize my stump in the kitchen's oven. Barely clinging to consciousness, I set the oven to preheat, wrapped my stump in a tent of foil, and stuck it inside, turning regularly to promote an even cauter and applying a light baste to keep it moist.

When the bleeding stopped, I went back and repeated the process with my other arm. The second time was harder, I think. With no free hands remaining, I was forced to grip the toenail clippers with my teeth. I also ran out of baste. It was the most agonizing experience I could ever possibly fathom, but here I am. Alive. My cannonball deltoids still ripple with pugilistic vigor now and then, but the stubs are too short to be lethal.

And that's it. That's my story. That's how I ended up here, barricaded alone in an underground facility, typing on a keyboard with my tongue. I haven't been able to get in touch with any other Centre sites, and I can't leave the building. Every day I lose a little more hope. My personal hygiene has suffered, too—partly because I can't look at a pair of clippers without bursting into tears. My toenails are getting really long now. I'll probably have to use a pair of scissors or something. I could even use that electric carving knife I got for my birthday. Hell, I think there's a chainsaw in the supply closet. No shortage of options, really.

Even if I'm alive now, there's no telling how long that will last. Sometimes I hear people punching on the reinforced doors, desperate to break in and claim another victim to slake their drunken punchlust. Someday they may succeed. There's enough food left around to keep me going a while, though just for a while. I've kept my mind occupied and my spirits up by watching Dr. Cavender's Walking Dead box sets, but I can feel that post-Season-Six quality drop looming just around the corner.

Maybe this was their plan all along. Maybe they just left the planet, knowing full well we'd destroy ourselves. Maybe when the last human has passed their final breath, the selachians will return from wherever they went and feast on our tight, sculpted corpses. Or maybe they're happier where they are now. Maybe they're not coming back. I hope that's not the case. As much as it pains me to say it: I miss them.

I miss sharks.

[23:19] DrTsega: With all the squats I've been doing, I could probably pop their heads between my fucking thighs.

[23:20] DrTsega: pop 'em just like cherries. hell yeah

doomsday2018goi-formatshark-punching-center

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[jinjojess]

abe's out lmaaaao. imagine how funny would it be if there was a slight increase in population because of celebrating it lol. (jk, i know low births have to do with work pressure and misogyny)

Yeah, I’d be more excited if Nihon Kaigi had less outright governmental power, but whatcha gonna do?

To go along with the joke though, it’s a shame he stepped down during a pandemic so that it’s harder for that awesome own to happen. Conspiracy!

[neverlendabook]

11 Questions Tag

Thank you @brightbeautifulthings for tagging me! Rule: answer the questions at the end of this post, then come up with more of your own and tag more people.  

1. What’s the best gift you’ve ever received? 

The best!! Idk, hard to pick, I’ve received a lot of gifts 😅 (#spoiledbrat). First thing that comes to mind tho is when I was 16 and my dad called and said his wife was pregnant and I was going to have a little sister. I got so excited on the phone that the friend I was with thought he was getting me a car. (she was v disappointed when I informed her that no it was just a baby half-sister lol)

2. Which five songs do you listen to most right now?

I listen almost exclusively to carols in December, soo... lots of Sissel and Celtic Woman, O Tannenbaum, Auld Lang Syne, that sort of thing. Of and for some reason Spotify literally played like eight different versions of Old King Wenceslas for me today, IN A ROW. 😱

3. What’s your favorite cartoon?

(including Anime here) Toss-up between Sailor Moon and Avatar:TLA/Legend of Korra. Also How to Train Your Dragon and Trollhunters / 3 Below. Depends on mood. 

4. Who are your top three OTP’s?

I CAN’T PICK JUST THREE I AM SORRY. But my main OTP in any work of art ever is female protagonists/agency and happiness haha. 

5. What’s your favorite dessert?

😂 JUST ONE???? okay uhmm... probably chocolate ganache. Or chocolate fudge w/ vanilla froyo. 

6. Which authors do you trust enough to read anything by them?

Ohh awesome question. Hmm...Terry Pratchett, definitely (I read Good Omens because of him, despite not liking Neil Gaiman at all). Used to be Marian Keyes too but I kind of changed my mind about her after This Charming Man. Ilona Andrews, probably! Everything I’ve read by them has been great...actually, I put their Hugh d’ Ambray novel on my Christmas list despite misgivings about the character, so we’ll see if the ‘trust enough to read anything by them’ principle still holds after I read it😉. 

7. Do you like having background noise/music when you’re working?

I prefer silence, if possible. bad focus lol. 

8. If you could learn any new skill, what would it be?

MORE LANGUAGES. I want to speak all of them.

9. Which books made you love reading when you were a kid?

Honestly I’ve loved reading for as long as I remember. I read random kiddie comics when I was 4-5, so maybe they were what got me into it? Haha idk. can’t remember a time when I did *not* immediately go crazy over a stack of books. 

10. What languages do you speak?

English, Klingon. 😁 (jk I am not actually fluent in Klingon. I do speak a smattering of German due to family, but it’s mostly English). 

11. What’s your favorite fairytale? 

WHAT A GREAT QUESTION. I have many. As a kid I loved Brothers Grimm...there was one tale of a lady who goes to pick berries and finds a house with three dwarves and...at some point she turns into a duck idk😂😂 I can’t recall the title, but the moral was ‘be nice to people and don’t spit frogs’. Also, Spindle, Shuttle and Needle. And I used to love King Thrushbeard as a kid, but as an adult I am questioning the validity of that marriage and the treatment of the spoiled princess haha. 

Non-Grimm-wise, I loved Arabian Nights (Ali-Baba especially) and Wilhelm Hauff’s fairy tales (possibly my fave was Little Muck). Also I had a book of fairy tales from around the world, and my hands-down favorites from every culture were the ‘clever animals outsmart people/mean animals’ ones. Like The Donkey and the Tiger, also The Fox and the Bear. 

I love these questions so will steal a couple for my turn😋😋

1. If you could pick a fictional world to live in, which would it be and why? 2. What character would you want to be BFFs with? 3. What character from a book you’ve read deserved better? 4. Who are your favorite villains? (and why) 5. What fictional pet would you like to have? 6. What’s your favorite mythology tale? 7. What would be your ideal job? 8. What makes you decide to buy a book? 9. What’s your favorite type of cookie? and finally, the two questions I’m stealing from @brightbeautifulthings😁

10. What are your favorite fairy tales?  11. Which authors do you trust enough to read anything by them?

I’m tagging @colescorner @thespiritknight @custardhoneybee @sb-reads @future-bestseller @previouslyafangirl @anassarhenisch @awarmcupofno​ @wildangel-love​ -- only if you feel like doing it, tho, no pressure!

[lavender-annd-lilac]

Y’all… there are literally like a small handful of starlander fics on tumblr (unless y’all are tagging them #homelight 🤢…. Lol jk I searched that too 😭)

So I saw this and it said Nov 11, and I was like awww, this is prob like 2 years old bc no way it was written a couple days ago 🙄.

But then I double checked and was like 😲😲😲 holy smokes this is…. Current??? I guess sacrificing all those State Farm agents finally paid off 😃

Anyway, I ❤️ this in the same way that an ancient tribe would love and worship a Coca-Cola bottle lmao bc I think it’s awesome but like slightly above my reading comprehension level 😂😬

An example of my reading comprehension level from my other blog lol (the 2 emojis were 🫖🥄 btw):

Like… did someone set this up??? Is this a “Much Ado About Nothing” meets “Taming of the Shrew” scenario where some PR people wanted to start a ~relationship rumour so when John was trashing the dressing room for god knows what reason, they told him Annie was on board with sitting in on the interview to calm him down, and then they get Annie to show up and basically pressure her into participating?

Ashley definitely had some plan in mind with that, “There they are! I’m sorry, I couldn’t bring myself to interrupt the important discussion” BS 😒

Are they going to ask Annie about that shit on air?? Is this going to be like a weird ass Tom Cruise jumping on Oprah’s couch interviews??

I’m Owen Wilson saying “WOW” on loop rn 😵‍💫

Also wouldn’t say no to that alternate version just saying 👀

Live Show

Homelander/Starlight No powers/Office AU – Miss January is called in to handle her feral co-CEO before his TV interview. Unfortunately, she’s too nice to say no. Prompt: a shattered mirror, spilled wine, a bouquet of flowers

The call reaches her at five seventeen pm. She’s on the elevator, dressed in her Friday best (grey sweatshirt, jeans, low ponytail, no make-up) with her overnight bag slung over her shoulder and checking caller ID brings a mildly annoyed frown to her face. “I’m off all day, it’s in my calendar.”

“I know!” Ashley’s voice is closer to a hiss than a whisper. “I know, but we would really appreciate it if you could swing by.” Urgency tinted with the desperation of a horror film protagonist making a call from the inside of a closet while a killer is slithering through the house.

The elevator dings. Annie sighs. “Is the building on fire?”

“Mr Lander has his interview with Business Live scheduled for six pm.” Annie is about to remind Ashley that she already knows that, considering that’s the exact reason why their weekly recap meeting was cancelled and she was free to take the day off, but Ashley doesn’t give her the chance. “The show starts in forty minutes and he’s locked himself in backstage. We need someone to talk to him before he does something drastic. There are too many people around, we can’t allow this to escalate.”

A handful of possible answers swirl in Annie’s head. ‘It sounds like it’s already escalated.’ ‘What am I supposed to do about that? Just break the lock or something.’ ‘If he wants to embarrass himself, let him.’ ‘It’s my day off, go ask Reggie.’ She takes a deep breath and savours each and every one of those sentences, lets them melt on her tongue like sugar only to swallow them down. “Send me the address, I’ll get there as fast as possible.”

“Oh, thank fuck. The car’s waiting outside.” And with that, Ashley disconnects the call.

Annie stares at her phone. She’s standing in the foyer of her apartment building and when she looks up, she can see through the glass doors to the street outside. A black car shimmers in the street lights. She sighs and texts Hughie.

~

The drive is only about ten minutes, but when Annie arrives at the studio, Ashley is in a considerably worse state than she seemed to be during their talk. Her cheeks are crimson red and her hands are shaking, the scent of her deodorant strong and sweet on her overheated body. “There you are! Hurry, I think he’s been breaking stuff inside.”

Annie follows her along a corridor of backstage rooms, her sneakers squeaking to the beat of Ashley’s heels clicking away on shimmering linoleum floors. As soon as they stop, Ashley turns to her. “He’s in there. You have ten minutes. Good luck!” And she runs off.

There’s another short moment where Annie stands in silence, her bag still slung over her shoulder and her phone in hand, and considers texting Hughie the address of the studio. Not like it’s her job to handle John Lander, is it? But unfortunately, her sense of responsibility wins out yet again and she knocks on the door. “Mister Lander?”

Something crashes, the wood thrums with the impact. Annie flinches and stumbles back two steps. She’s just one text away from watching Love Actually on Hughie’s terrible couch.

Another knock. “John? This is Annie.”

The door opens immediately.

John stands in the doorway, tie missing and some three or four buttons undone. A few strands of his gold-shimmering hair fall into his face and there is a large wet stain on his dress shirt. “Annie. Did Ashley call you?”

“Yes,” Annie says, but before she can turn and call out to the woman to inform her that John is ready for action, a warm-strong hand wraps around her wrist and she’s pulled into the room. The door slams shut.

“Great. Is she getting the make-up people?” John drops her hand and steps back towards the dressing tables lining the wall, shrugging out of his jacket as he speaks. “I need a new dress shirt and a tie that matches your dress, unless you’re wearing red. Which you should, by the way, but I’ll take black, too.”

The spiderwebs of cracks that glitter all over the surface of the mirrors shatter the reflection of John unbuttoning his dress shirt into a kaleidoscope of skin and cotton. There’s a generous splatter of shards on the carpet as well, which mostly stem from the broken vase by the door and what seems to be the remnants of two to four glasses and a bottle of wine by the mirrors. Wine and water soak into the carpet, drops glitter on scattered petals and the broken spines of a dozen of lilies. A few of the flowers made it to the sofa, where both her overnight bag and his shirt end up in an untidy heap.

Annie is so preoccupied with taking in the general state of the room that she barely makes sense of the words John is saying. When she does, though, she snaps her head up from the sad sight of the ripped-up bouquet. “What – No, I’m not here for –“ There’s a knock on the door.

She turns and, in her haste to open the door, steps into the puddle of lily-water.

“Hi!,” Ashley says, no less stress-pink but with a Vaseline-sticky smile. She claps her hands. “There they are! I’m sorry, I couldn’t bring myself to interrupt the important discussion.”

“What,” Annie says, just as the woman in a stylishly asymmetric black dress Ashley was addressing steps in with a smile. “No problem at all. We have five minutes until wardrobe gets here. Please sit down.”

~

At six pm, Annie is sitting in an overly stuffed black leather chair, smiling as Andrew Clarkson greets the viewer of Business Live both in the studio and at home. The stage lights make her thighs stick together in the skin-tight pencil skirt and the layers of powder and mascara make her feel like her face is slowly melting. She has no idea what the interview is going to be about and she’s very aware of the way she looks next to John in his suit, with the shimmer of her bare knees and the low-cut, sleeveless blouse they found for her. Not to mention the slim red belt around her waist that perfectly matches his tie.

Much more concerning than any of that, however, is the fact that at least five people saw the spilt wine, the shattered mirrors and crumpled up shirt, and think she was around while the door was locked. As hard as she tries to focus on the questions Clarkson is asking, her mind keeps wandering back to a version of the story that’d suit that set-up. To John’s bare chest and a knocked-over flower vase, to a torn-off shirt discarded on a conveniently placed sofa and rough thrusts, hard and fast enough to crack the mirror under her shoulder blades.

Well, she thinks grimly. At least John made it to his stupid interview.

[siodymph]

I got tagged by @ceslatoil for a fun tag game so here it goes!

Rules are pretty straight forwards, answer the 11 questions given to you, then tag 11 more people and give them 11 new questions! 

1. What’s the one meal you wish you knew how to cook?

This is a tough one, cause personally I always like to try cooking new things when I get the proper motivation.

Lol I’ll go with the weeb answer and say the sea-salt ice cream from Kingdom Hearts!

2. A tv show you could binge watch over and over again?

It’s Always Sunny in Philidelphia, lol it’s practically an addiction for me and my sister!

3. What celebrities you’d like to meet in real life?

I don’t know about anyone else, but I would absolutely love to meet Rebecca Sugar and Alex Hirsch someday! I mean both of them have been such inspirations for me in developing characters, world-building, and just producing stories in general!

And probably the cast of It’s always sunny to! Cause those guys are awesome!!

4. What movie do you love that everyone else seems to hate?

Ooh this is a hard one! Um I guess the Last 5 Years? Critically it didn’t do well but I loved it and still watch it on Netflix if I’m ever in the mood

5. What is the worst thing you’ve ever read?

Worst thing coming to my head would probably be the House of Night series I read back in High School. Sorry to be mean to the authors, a mother/daughter duo, but those books were awkward as shit and definitely more nsfw then the book summaries lead on lol

6. What was your most ridiculous childhood phase?

You mean my whole childhood in general? Lol jk but if I had to pick one thing that makes me cringe the most it would be... my loonatics phase, yes I was one of those dumb kids who watched it on kidsWB back in the day

7. Do you believe in ghosts?

Oh definitely! I mean there’s so much we still don’t understand about the world or ourselves so I’ve always thought it’s a possibility.

 But I also think subjects like ghosts and magic in general are very easily exploited by people trying scare the public for shock-value and attention.

8. Do you have a favorite so bad it’s good movie?

Uhhhhhhh, I can’t think of anything good for this one. Usually I get too much second-hand embarrassment from bad movies

9. What is your favorite drink at Starbucks?

Eh, I don’t like starbucks much, not a big coffee or tea person, but I do like the strawberry-cream frappe they have there. lol it’s pretty much just a light milkshake though!

10. What are your most favorite and least favorite Disney movies?

Most favorite, forever and always, will be Lilo and Stitch.

Least favorite, for now unless disney whips together something truly awful, is a tie between Chicken Little and Bolt

11. Name something you used to dislike but now absolutely love?

Does food count? Cause when I was little i couldn’t stand the smell or taste of mushroom but now I love’em in anything savory.

Ok now I tag 11 more people! (Also though if you don’t wanna do this that’s perfectly fine, no pressure!)

@k-yers , @transbrucewaync ,  @lordfartwad , @newnoodles , @gemification , @runaway-toons , @burlybanner , @scottdrawsthings , @highwind-valor , @sunsetscomiche @ellewritesfiction and anyone else who sees this and feels like answering questions feel free!

And for you guys, here’s your 11 Questions!

1. What is your favorite color? 2. Who is your favorite superhero? 3. Who is your favorite disney princess? 4. What is your dream job? 5. If you could have super powers what would they be? 6. If you were in a band, what genre would it be and what would you do in it? 7. If you were to design a new type of alien creature/person what would they look like? 8. What are your thoughts on the trend of live-action disney remakes of their animated films? 9. When you hear the word “flower” whats the first type that comes to mind? 10. Are you pro or anti sitting in bed and listening to a thunder storm? 11. If you could have one food item suddenly manifest in your hands, right now, what would it be?

[reifromrfa]

RFA guys + Minor Trio are Vampires

Hey hey hey!! Here’s more Halloween HCs for you guys, written by the amazing @rainydayswriter and yours truly! It was so funny watching each other’s ideas and continuing the story and we hope you guys enjoy reading our masterpieces (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *ヽ(◕ヮ◕ヽ)

Check out @rainydayswriter​ ‘s blog for more awesome content!!!

Yoosung

Yoosung protects

Seriously though, all he wants to do is make sure you’re safe and happy, so having superhuman strength and speed gives him the ability to do just that!

So?? Adorable???

Uses his powers to save cats from trees

SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK

Lol ask him to bite you and watch him have a crisis

Super speed helps him with his studies and gives him more time to play LOLOL

Maybe if he makes you immortal you won’t leave him like Rika did welp

He can see well in the dark, so no need to be afraid of the dark anymore!

Still checks under the bed for monsters though this cutie

Shapeshifts into a bat when you’re mad at him because damn it he’s just so cute you can’t yell at a little bat

With the wrong type of encouragement, you’ll have yourself a full-blown possessive vampire boyfriend, which is someone you will never be able to leave, so make this choice wisely~

If you make the decision to be with him forever

He would be so!!! Excited!!!

It’ll be like an eternal sleepover with your best friend!

Zen

Stereotypical gorgeous vampire much?

He was already handsome as a mortal, now it’s 100x harder to keep people away from him ;;;

Guess this explains the red eyes

Still an absolute theater nerd

“Careful, babe,” he’ll say with a fanged smile, “you wouldn’t want to release the Beast.”

Hates to be hungry in front of you, it makes him...hungry ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) you know exactly what we’re talking about

What if he hurts you? Or what if he frightens you? What if you find him revolting?

“Hyun, let’s be honest...you’re not revolting. You’re THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PERSON ON THIS PLANET.”

Oh God he’d be shedding tears of joy

He doesn’t feel cold anymore, but when you guys go to the rooftop to gaze at stars he always makes sure to bring a jacket and blankets for you

Would definitely ask you to consider living an immortal life with him and he’d be elated if you agree

Of course after you’ve turned he wouldn’t be afraid of hurting you anymore and omg imagine all the broken furniture after he unleashes the beast  

Jaehee

You’d have to be nothing less than superhuman to be Jumin’s assistant

So efficient in everything she does, so graceful, so breathtaking!

But you do not want to get on her bad side

Her glares alone are enough to curdle blood, but threaten the RFA and she will dispose of them without a trace

Jumin recieves a fresh bottle of red wine

When you come into her life she is shook

For so long she’s suppressed her human side to be the perfect assistant, but then here you are, supporting her and making her laugh and she’s experiencing feelings she hasn’t felt in a long time???

She gets so flustered and slightly clumsy around you especially when you compliment her it’s so cute

Going to midnight showings of Zen’s works together!!!

Is unimpressed with vampire jokes, if only because Mr. Han and Seven use them all the time

But if they make you laugh she’ll begrudgingly allow them

She’s so grateful to have you in her unlife, she will always make sure to tell you so

Teaches you all about vampire strengths and weaknesses, including ways to deter them just in case

“Feel free to use pepper spray on Seven if he bothers you too much.”

Any amount of time she spends with you is a blessing

If you bring up wanting to stay at her side forever, she’ll sit you down for a ~serious discussion~

Giving up mortality is a big decision! What if you grow tired of her? Or can’t handle outliving the world around you?

But you want to stay by her side! There’s no changing your mind! You want to protect her as she protects you!

She’s not crying, you’re crying

Okay you’re both crying

Jumin

Tells the most vampire puns, in a totally flat voice and with a totally straight face

“MC, who do you think should be my...necks victim?”

-____________________- Jumin no.

Loves hearing your heart beat faster when he’s close to you

So classy, he drinks blood from wine glasses

It makes sense that’s he’s so rich, he’s had a century to accumulate his wealth

Neck fetish

Jaehee gets a heart attack everytime she enters his office because it’s always so dark

You once visited him in the office and when you came in it was dark

And Jumin whirls around in his chair, stroking Elizabeth the 3rd in his lap with a sinister smile on his face

“Velcome to my lair, MC.”

*facepalm* *roflmao*

But you love this man so much

His staff would be afraid of him but they’re so jealous at how he seems to look effortlessly young and handsome all the time

Regarding immortality, he would want to spend the rest of his life with you but of course he would ask for your consent first

And maybe ask you to sign an agreement contract or two ;;;

Saeyoung

Can be goddamn brooding if he’s alone with his thoughts for too long

Mixes lingo from different eras on purpose

Abuses his godlike strength by constantly sweeping you off your feet

Ask him if he sparkles like the vampires in Twilight

He’ll roll around in glitters and take you to the park, where everyone can marvel at his sparkly skin put your shirt back on you’ve made your point Saeyoung

LOVES cosplaying as Edward Cullen

“And so the lion fell in love with the lamb” *eyebrow wiggle*

Saeyoung stahp

He will have his broody moments though and he’ll try to push you away because he’s dangerous

An immortal hacker/secret agent,you sure know how to pick ‘em MC

Drives Vanderwood insane because he can make a dozen dog robots in two hours but not finish his work???

If you try to ask him any vampire-related questions, you will never get a straight answer

“Are you afraid of garlic?”

“GAELIC??? MC I KNOW HOW TO SPEAK GAELIC WHY WOULD I BE AFRAID OF IT??? GOD SEVEN FEARS NO LANGUAGES!!!!”

Sigh. “What about running water?”

“Jeez, MC, if you think I stink just tell me. No need to be rude.”

You give up

On a more serious note, he’d go back and forth between wanting you to be with him forever and wanting you to live an actual life

Contents himself with just being around you for a short while, he’ll bow out at soon as you seem to grow tired of him

To prove your love for him, you make him turn you into a vampire, that way you’re also indestructible and you can live out the rest of your life with him

V

There’s something poetic about someone who can’t show up in pictures and old mirrors putting his heart and soul into recreating the world around him through art

With immortality in play, he wants to catch as many moments as he can before they pass by

If you sketch him, he will be so moved because A. he hasn’t seen his own face since becoming a vampire and B. he’s never been the model

Omg V if only you knew you’re as beautiful as your photographs

Have you ever wondered why V is his nickname?

He has to change aliases every few decades and he decided to use the letters of the alphabet; he’s on V now lololol

Knows all the best places and he’ll take you around the world with him

His vampire abilities will only be used for good and for helping others

And also taking photos

“V, please don’t lean so far off the edge” ;;;

“I’m fine, MC. You don’t have to--”

Falls off the cliff

It’s a good thing he doesn’t bleed. Or die.

Would love to spend forever with you but he would never pressure you; would also feel guilty for even thinking that ;;;

But when you reassure him for the millionth time that you love him and want to spend an immortal life with him he finally turns you into a vampire

He spends eternity marveling at the beauty of the world with you and he will do whatever it takes to make you happy and keep you by his side

Saeran

Typical secluded vampire, prefers to venture out in the dead of night

Embraces dark aesthetics

Death toll rises when he’s in a bad mood/thirsty

So intimidating, nobody will ever dare messing with you even when he’s not around

They learned the hard way

He loves looking at the sky so being under the sun doesn’t bother him

He loves looking at you more though

And he’s so stiff and awkward around you because he doesn’t want to accidentally hurt you

Like that time when he held your hand and you ended up at the hospital coz he broke your fingers ;;;

He’s cold to the touch so he doesn’t know what to do when you’re shivering

Will wrap you in a blanket as slowly and gently as he possibly could

By the time he’s done you probably have icicles hanging down your nose lololol

Or he would wear a jacket or a coat when you guys go out so he could offer them to you if ever you get cold

He wants you to stay with him forever and will probably be the least shy or guilty about it

You’re the only person who understands him and accepts him and he’s head over heels in love with you

The thought of living forever without you seems lonely and desolate

He doesn’t even remember how he spent all those centuries without you

Your becoming a vampire would mean the world to him

And omg get ready to experience Saeran in all his glory ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

No more holding back! He’s been dying lol no jk he can’t die to hug you and now he holds you every chance he can

Saeran smiles more now and he sincerely looks forward to your future together

Vanderwood

Super speed is used to clean Saeyoung’s room faster

Super senses to track down Saeyoung when he’s avoiding work yet again

Will probably compel Saeyoung to finish his work when he’s desperate ;;;

He’s equivalent to ten bodyguards so you’re always safe

He has a lot of enemies thanks to his job though, so Vandy prefers having you in his line of sight at all times

Even if it means stalking you sometimes ;;;

He gives you his favorite taser so you can defend yourself

Pfft you wouldn’t have to though, Mary Vanderwood the 3rd has you covered

He’ll be like Saeyoung sometimes, trying to act detached and say mean things to get you to stay away from him

But he’s the one who can’t stay away from you

Won’t encourage you to become immortal like him because he doesn’t want you to regret it after a century

But if you choose to be with him, Vanderwood will be so happy and he will love you and protect you for all eternity

[got-to-tomago-blog]

MADISON’S QUESTIONAIRE

*PERSONAL DETAILS*

Nicknames? Maddie. Although I guess technically Madison is a 'nickname' ;)

Where do you live? Right next door!

What’s your age? 17, dancing queen

Hair color? Dark brown

Eye color? Darker brown

Height? really short, like 5'2"

Date of Birth? December 29

What’s your star sign? Capricorn!

Element? Earth probably.

How many siblings? one (1)

How many pets? zero but I already have a bunch of cat names planned out for my future two cats

Obsessions?

    I want to wipe out all the sad ideas that come to me when I am holding you    I want to erase every nasty thought that bugs me every day of every week

Bad habits?

     When my fingernails get too long I pick at it, I procrastinate a lot, and I also get random ticks (ie drumming my fingers, clucking my tongue it goes on)

Phobias? I would say death, but honestly, it's probably life

*ABOUT YOU* What makes you happy?

     Being with friends I trust. Watching an entertaining show/movie/gameplay

What really irritates you?

     Apathetic people.

What makes you sad?

    Me. Capitalism. The pressures and expectations that society puts on individuals.

What makes you angry?

    People who don't care about other people's feelings. When someone says that it's required to stand for the Pledge of the Allegiance. The rampant racism and sexism and honestly discrimination in general that we humans seem naturally so inclined to.    

What makes you scared?

    The thought of how our universe and everything in it will disappear and we humans will only be a blip in that timeframe. But perhaps that isn't really scary.

    New answer: Trump. Guns. 

Who is your best friend? 

   I have like three best friends outside of bdrp: Rose, Abigail and Riley.

Ever broken a bone?

    Nah. The closest is when I twisted my ankle.

What was the last CD you bought?

    I myself haven't bought any. But like as a family, pretty sure it was Legally Blonde.

What was the last book you read?

    Throwback to middle school with the Raven Boy series.

Who was the last person you spoke to?

     The bus driver haha.

What was the last thing you ate?

    Cookies (that Riley gave me) and yogurt. 

What was the last thing you drank?

    The answer should be water, but it's juice.

What’s the best thing you’ve ever bought?

     I'm young I don't really pay expensive things. I would have to say that of the things that I know that I bought is the book Battle Royale.

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever bought?

    I bought a lot of food in my life, some pretty crappy.

What’s the best thing you’ve ever been given?

     I love my parents <3. They got me a violin (several but they sold some back), my Bose headphones, and my drawing tablet (that I should use more).

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever been given?

    Idk my parents sort of know what we want and my grandparents can't really give me anything and I don't remember bad gifts from elementary school friends. But our family gifted ourselves a guitar which my mom wanted but promptly said that the strings hurt her fingers so probably that. 

What are your future goals?

    Happiness, success, and love. 

Describe your bedroom?

     It's pretty small and the walls are yellow and pink with a sticker tree with birds it's pretty cool. I have a bed, dresser and a lil vanity table that has a lot of random stuff on it. 

Who do you consider the most beautiful woman in the world?

  Lupita Nyong'o, Song Ji Hyo, Ashley Moore, IU, Emma Watson

Who do you consider the most handsome man in the world?

  Taron Egerton, Avan Jogia, Lee Jong Suk, Song Joong Ki, Dave Franco

Favorite thing to do on a hot summers day? 

  Eat ice cream

Favorite thing to do on a snowy winters day? 

  Eat ice cream (but inside)

If you were granted 3 wishes, what would they be?

  To use the popular loophole, wish for more wishes. If that's not the case, my wishes would be: world peace, no need to sleep, and the ability to focus on what I want to without getting distracted.

If you could go back in time to see or change something, when would it be and what would you do?

Well, if it was possible for Riley to get professional help without trying to commit suicide that would be awesome. 

/

Doing the extra credit my freshman year for English so I would get an A instead of a 89. Sitting with someone else in sophomore year math class so it would be entertaining and I could avoid the only B I'm gonna get in math during high school. 

/

Doing something about Ryan my freshman or sophomore year. Doing something about Joey.

/

Regretting less. 

What’s the first thing you think about when you wake up?

  Going back to sleep. 

Do you believe in the after-life?

  Yep.

Where do you see yourself in 10 years time?

  I'll be 27, but that also gives me no sense of time. Probably at a nice office job or graduate school.

What’s the funniest joke you’ve ever been told? 

  Nice shoes, wanna fuck? 

or: This fibonacci joke is as bad as the last two you heard combined

Any hidden talents?

    I once fell asleep while standing. 

Dream job?

  My dream dream job would probably be being a popular actress but also 1) that would never happen and 2) that sounds stressful. So my other dream job is being the position right under the CEO of a very successful company.

Who is your hero?

  you <3

Describe yourself in 3 words: 

  Nice (get it? if not I can explain it to you in discord), smart, passionate

*FAVORITES*

Favorite color? Purple and black

Favorite number? 25

Favorite animal? Pandas and cats.

Favorite sport (to play)? Lol. 

Favorite sport (to watch)? I watch football a lot actually. But have you /seen/ badminton games of professionals it's insane

Favorite Show(s)?

  Too much honestly. KShows: Running Man, the Genius, Problematic Men. Western: Miraculous Ladybug, Misfits, Project Runway and Big Brother as my guilty pleasure

Favorite movies?

  Excluding Disney movies because I love all of them, I highly recommend the Cabin in the Woods, Truman Show, 10 Things I Hate About You, and Old Boy. From there, it's like a tree with tons of movie options.

Favorite band?

  The rubber ones that can change into shapes

jk, the only 'bands' I really like are Kpop, so 2NE1 (rip), BTS, Blackpink and Big Bang.

Favorite song?

  I love Savages by Marina and the Diamonds, Crybaby by Melanie Martinez, and Whistle by Blackpink.

Favorite room in the house?

  My bedroom's pretty cool, I just don't spend a lot of time in there

Favorite food? 

  Chocolate. I also like a large variety of fruit

Favorite drink?

  Apple juice hands down. Besides that, there's this Korean drink called 2% that's really good.

Favorite place?

  Bed? Wizarding World in Orlando Studios, Florida was pretty awesome, and South Korea has some great places. And of course, our expensive home Disney World.

Favorite cartoon character?

  Blossom from Powerpuff girls, Kim Possible from well, ya know, and to continue this trend, Wendy from Gravity Falls.

Favorite day of the week? Saturday.

Favorite day of the year? December 28

Favorite season? Fall

Favorite Holiday? Christmas

Favorite girls name?

  Madison (haha) but I also like the name Victoria. ngl Petrana is a pretty good name too.

Favorite boys name? Ryan

Favorite country? South Korea? Countries are pretty problematic tbh

Favorite smell? Dollar bills ;)

Favorite sound? Fire crackling

Favorite accent? Gonna be stereotypical here and say British.

Favorite Ships (in or our of BDRP)?

  Too much to list in bdrp so I'm just gonna go outside BDRP.  Percy/Annabeth, James/Lily, Spartace (from Running Man), Jungwan/Dukseon (from Reply 1988). I’m not a huge shipper tbh.

Favorite Fandoms? 

  All the fandoms I'm in are basically my favorites (except Gravity Falls to a certain point cuz that fandom has a very big 'weird' side). Disney of course, Harry Potter, PJO/Heroes of Olympus, Miraculous Ladybug (a bit). The Genius, Undertale, Cuphead (to another certain extent I don't play it but man the art is gorgeous), Bright Sessions (!)

*PREFERENCES* Coke or Pepsi? I don't drink either, not a huge fan of fizzy drinks

Pen or Pencil? Pen

Day or Night? Night

Cat or Dog?Cat

Summer or Winter? Winter

T.V. or Radio? Radio (gotta listen to those tunes in the car)

Brains or Beauty? Brains

Cup or Mug? Cup

Tea or Coffee?Tea (i'm not a huge fan of coffee either ngl)

Gold or Silver? Gold

Brush or Comb? Comb

City or Country?City

Early or Late riser? Late late

Blond or Brunette? This is bias against black haired people 😔 so blonde

Scary or Romantic movies? ooOooo idk this one's tough. If it was books it would be romance hands down, but since it's movie I'll say scary

Board or Computer games? Computer games

Half full or Half empty? Half full

  Happy and poor or Sad and rich? man this was tougher than you would think. But since it's based off how I don't think I could actually be 'happy' while poor, I will choose happy and poor. 

Glasses or Contacts? Glasses.

Flowers or Chocolates? Chocolate

Love or Money? Love

Hugs or Kisses? Hugs

~~

And there you have it!