#lol i like these better than the other set i made for ep 9

[peachblossomdrama]

[namtanlovesfilm]

1st quarter of 2024 shows ranked

n° of shows watched from january 1st to march 31st: 13

1. analog squad: 9/10

I deeply regret not watching this one in 2023 when it was released bc it would've been my number one favorite show of that year ;_; it's such an original and touching show with one of my favorite tropes (found family) and some of the best characters I've ever seen. definitely already an all-time favorite and a comfort show for years to come <3

2. cooking crush: 8,5/10

y'all know how much I love offgun, and while this was no not me or theory of love, this show really brought me back to my early days of watching thai dramas and freaking out over any cute interaction on my screen & I love it for that! while this show has a lot of flaws, most of them are easily forgettable when faced with such great characters & one of the cutest relationships ever! I truly thought offgun's chemistry had reached its peak in not me but I was wrong, these two never cease to amaze me they really can play any role to perfection <3

3. ready set love: 8,5/10

this show really surprised with how pretty much flawless its execution is! it's hilarious but also deals with very deep & interesting topics well, and day might be one of my favorite female leads ever! a super solid show that is honestly gonna become a classic for me, I can feel it :)

4. love for love's sake: 8,5/10

this was a super sweet show that's very well done, I was dubitative of the plot at first but it really managed to pull me in & make it worth my while! one of the best kbls out there :)

5. the believers: 8,5/10

this is definitely one of the most innovative thai shows out there, dealing with a topic (religion) that I didn't think anyone would dare touch. the story had me hooked all 9 episodes & the acting performances were amazing, however I have to say this didn't pack as much of a punch as I expected it would. it's a very good show, but it stays a little surface level & doesn't explore its characters enough for me...

6. sing my crush: 7,5/10

this was very much adorable, however two things bothered me: 1) I didn't like the time jump from ep 1 to ep 2, I wish we could've seen the friendship between the characters developed more, and 2) I feel like them not revealing their feelings for each other felt a little forced & random. apart from that it's a very cute show!

7. intern in my heart: 7,5/10

this was a really enjoyable romantic comedy that I had a lot of fun in front of :) is it much more than that? not really. pretty basic but with charismatic performances that carried the show well!

8. perfect propose: 7,5/10

really sweet show that I wish was more developed & gave me more, but a good time nonetheless!

9. sukiyanen kedo do yaro ka: 7/10

this show got me, lost me then got me once again lol. I thought the chemistry for an established relationship was some of the best for a jbl, and the story was simple but endearing. but tbh something was kinda lacking for me, which made this ultimately very forgettable imo.

10. the outing: 7/10

I was SO looking forward to this show without much expectation but it still managed to disappoint me lol. the acting was very solid but there's too many characters that get introduced too late & I failed to really understand what the point or purpose of the show was. it seems to me as if this show took all of the worst points from remember 15 (the sex, the chaos, the betrayals & annoying characters), without the substance that remember 15 actually had. it's not a terrible show, and I was intrigued during it, but tbh it could've been so so much better.

11. love class season 2: 7/10

this had some of the strongest and most interesting ships I've seen in a kbl, however the writing & execution of the show was very frustrating. early on the characters barely get introduced & we struggle to understand how they're all linked together, leading to a lot of confusion on my part. it's sad bc it had a very solid story but bad execution imo :(

12. chaser game w: power harassment: 7/10

this had me very excited but sadly didn't deliver at all for me. the story is kinda all over the place & while the chemistry was really good and it's important to have japanese characters clearly labeled as lesbians, I found the acting kinda over the top as well... but it's a start for gl I guess 🥲

13. sahara sensei to toki-kun: 6/10

this is the kind of show that I managed to watch until the end... for whatever reason. but the age gap icked me out & I found that the main ship didn't have much chemistry. overall this story is very empty & didn't add anything for me, but I really liked the character of toki & would've loved to see him in a better show & ship.

[haro-hawayu]

One Piece Live Action

I started One Piece LA thinking that I'll just take 2-3 days to watch it.

I binged the entire series in one day... XD

More semi-organized but mostly unorganized thoughts below~

Prior to watching, I had like medium/medium-high expectations for the LA because the trailers looked quite promising and was reading in various places that Oda praised it too. I still had that little part of me thinking that if it flops, then it's okay because surely it can't be worse than uhh... FMA live action (never saw Netflix Death Note which I heard was really bad so never checked it out)??

First episode exceeded my expectations!! I think by episode 4 I was still convinced I wouldn't finish the entire season and still have some to watch the next day, but before I knew it, I was on the second to last episode already LOL. Epic fail on my end for underestimating both the series and my ability to binge.

Cast: I think the cast is amazing!! Going into the series, I wasn't 100% sure about characters like Nami or Sanji, but wow, they were so great. I loved how the actors took in like the "essence" of the characters and kinda made it into their own instead of going for carbon-copy same-exact-thing as their anime counterparts. I think that would have led to more exaggerated/awkward acting which might have been not so good. Like imagine if Sanji was the same exact version as LA, I think I would've been kinda uncomfortable to watch cuz if the actor failed to pull it off, he might've turned Sanji into kinda sleezy/creepy skirt-chaser (works in anime cuz it's funny but in LA, maybe not so much). I found the amount of "comedic" interactions just perfect for the series. The chemistry between the cast was really great too, especially Luffy-Zoro-Nami, the very first members of Straw Hat crew. There were some minor-ish characters that grew on me really quick too even though initially I was kinda meh about them (i.e. Koby and Helmeppo). Oh, another example of a character that was kinda changed/adapted for the series instead of being mainly comedy relief would be Buggy. I really love how Buggy's portrayed in the LA, I would prob say he's my fave villain in S1 lol.

Story: Story-wise, I found the pacing to be just right, esp for S1 with the initial crew and each of their backstories. The amount of plot they covered felt just right imo, esp with first ep of Luffy wanting to set out while he's on his little raft, meeting Koby and sharing about how he wants to his own wanted poster etc, and then we wrap it up with the final episode of the season where Koby sees Luffy off with his Wanted Poster, and Luffy setting out with his crew on his own boat.

Music: I love the music! I loved that one motif that keeps replaying throughout the episodes. I thought it was the same theme, but I listened to the OST after and noticed a bunch of different tracks with that motif playing. It's quite catchy. I loved the moments where they included "We Are"--I legit teared up hearing it when they were setting off with Merry and the music was playing. I never thought I'd get this emotional over a live action adaptation, but here we are.

CG: The CG was also better than expected. Not over the top. I think I was most concerned about Luffy's abilities, but they were done well. I think things to worry about in the future is how they handle other Devil Fruit users' abilities.

Anyways, I would give it like a... 9-9.5/10. There were some scenes that kinda made me go ???? but those were minor things I guess. One was whenever Garp & Koby played Go and the way they held the Go stones made me kinda cringe. Another moment was the scene of young Zoro and his sensei at Kuina's funeral and they bowed to each other. Young Zoro's bow was appropriate, but the sensei's bow in return was kinda ??? when you bow, you usually don't tilt your head up look up at the other person cuz it's kinda rude, so seeing the sensei do that, it's like giving off the wrong vibe. Just itty bitty things that threw me off.

S1 finished strong, but time will tell how S2 will go. Especially for characters like Brook or Chopper... I imagine them to be CG'd in so that might affect character interactions, and if they're not CG'd in, well I hope it won't be too distracting...

[annbourbon]

9 People you wanna Know Better:

Thanks for the tag @kpchrs

╥﹏╥

I disappeared for a while~ but I'm back!!! Sorry to leave this hanging on for so long.

No pressure tags: @icedart21 @ginatrerotola @smol-grey-tea @yooseven-heaven @theoddlydrawnmuffins @theliteraryarchitect @cherrychipheart @bl00000g @playlistbyjo @mirusuchanne

(i would mention you too @kpchrs but lol you're already here~, although I do want to get to know you better♡)

Three ships: This took me some time lol but besides Spuffy which I'm not even gonna mention because it's obvious by now:

I guess it's Kisten Phelps x Rachel Morgan (The Hollows), Anna x Hao (Shaman King) and Yeon-Joo x Kang Chul (W: Two Worlds)

I added some honorable mentions to: Rachel Morgan x Trent Kalamack (i'm still unsure about this lol but i do love them because it wasn't love at first sight but it progressed slowly~), Inuyasha x Kagome (Inuyasha) and Tomoe x Nanami (Kamisama Kiss)

First Ship: lol it's so difficult but I guess the one that made me go down really badly was Hao x Anna (Shaman King) which was the reason I started to write fanfics, and the reason I decided to become a fashion designer (still working on this), and basically the reason I'm most of the person I'm right now~

Also I would add Kisten x Rachel because this ship was the one that made me love jazz and blues... and cured my depression in so many ways it made me go back to write and to start learning languages, and many other things. I didn't even think that was possible. Rachel Morgan is kind of... well is a redhead version of me lol we have a lot of things in common tbh~ even the way she acts it's 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣😭 yes, that's me. I wish I could say it's getting better and I'm less impulsive but sometimes I crave chaos I guess? Dunno~

Last Song: You Belong with Me by Taylor Swift (TV)

Last Movie: I've been into series lately but the kast movie I saw was, A Man Called Otto (I loved it and I'm gonna make a brief review on it soon~ it was on HBO Max but it's not anymore~ if you can catch it, watch it. You'll never regret it. It's very sweet♡)

Currently Watching: True Blood. Yeah~ I haven't finished yet lol mid season 5 of True Blood, watching Law School again~, just finished with Spinning Out series like yesterday~, Mr. Queen. Yes. Still watching. I'm on episode 18 so I'll be finishing this ine pretty quickly. Went back to Crash Landing On You because it's the thing that makes me swoon lol.... add Gossip Girl because it's good noise to work with lolol

Stopped Hotel Del Luna on E8. And My Demon by episode 10 rn.

Watching House (S3E17) S.W.A.T. (S.1.Ep7), Ready set love ep.2, True Beauty S1E13, Gilmore Girls S6E2 (can you believe I still have to finish watching it first time here?), 2 Broke Girls S1E17, Supernatural S13E14,

Watching Parasite (E2), Ouran Host Club again~ E10, and I'm definitely actively watching Angel's Last Mission: Love.... I might be forgetting more of these but y'all have my lists here~ in case you're curious or want some recs.

Currently Reading: Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn,

Why does he do that? by Lundy Bancroft, and Grimm's Fairytales (ADHD is real lol) I cannot focus on just one book cause I get distracted and easily bored by reading these books... although gotta be honest, my main issue is that I'm doing this as part of my studies, which makes my ADHD worsen.

I need these books, and while I'm reading I'm also taking notes~~~ and I'm also thinking on many ways to quote and use these on the videos I'm working rn... and I'm currently working on at least 6 videos, and my future streaming... sooooooo yeah lol my ADHD is crazy and I need to read several things at the same time rn.

Currently Eating: Nothing

Currently Craving: E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G. LOL

Did I mentioned i'm gonna get some tests tomorrow? So I'm in middle of my fasting~~ and it's one of those things, like, you know when you are fasting all by yourself because you want to lose some pounds, it's easier than when doctors say you're not allowed to eat. You keep craving on everything. Actually I wasn't that hungry earlier on. Until it was already past the hour of eating LOL i'm kinda starving and craving everything~ tomorrow is gonna be so annoying cause I have a lot of tests done.

The only fun part is to watch the process. I keep freaking out everyone because I tend to watch while they poke me to draw blood. But it's fun~~ \\^♡^//

god lol idk if someone is gonna actually read this lololol but if you made it~ thx for reading all that♡

Yeah~~~ I'm that weird I guess? LOL sorry

BTW~ I swear idk what's happening to me but I'm getting insanely obsessed with Eric Northman right now TT like, I can't even~ I hsd to stop watching True Blood;; and even now it's like, he's in my system. Been so obsessed I keep dreaming about him day and night, it's getting weird lol especially because he's not even my type TT like wtf?

9 People You Wanna Know Better

Thanks for the tag, @justsolas! Will be around for your BTVS watching still lol

I'm no pressure tagging: @annbourbon @burntblueberrywaffles @cha-cha-arts @weer02 @varlysca @olya-roo @robinplume @datcrazyanniegurl @tumblingghosts

Three ships: Spuffy, Hellcheer, and Snowbaird.

First ship: No idea. It's either Naruto x Sakura (Naruto) or Tappei x Miiko (Kocchimuite Miiko (lol do I reveal my location by revealing I know that manga)). But the ship I will count as the real first is Ichigo x Rukia (Bleach), because above two are the kid me testing the waters (of fandom and shipping) and not actually shipping them.

Last song: Taylor Swift's Guilty as Sin?

Last movie: Uh...what was it... Oh. It's a South Korean film called Hijack 1971. A good one. It's about a commercial pilot whose plane got hijacked and forced to go to North Korea. I knew about it happening but didn't know it wasn't a one time thing.

Currently reading: My...Mandarin textbook lol The last novel I tried reading was a Fear Street one.

Currently watching: I'm stopping right now in the middle of S4, but Angel the Series.

Currently eating: Nothing but the black ice of my soul.

Currently craving: A big bowl of fruit slices 😭 By big I mean HUGE. And hanging out in a classy café. Doing nothing in particular.

[absolutebl]

Hey! Long time no see lol. I’ve been out of the BL game since Bad Buddy (watching that live took it OUT of me) and recently got back in with Semantic Error when I finally got around to watching it after one of my friends did, so I was wondering if you had any quick recs on some good stuff that came out since this year! (I already have plans to watch Not Me, and actually dropped off tumblr/other online BL spaces to avoid spoilers, so I’m extra clueless about what’s new.)

Of course!!! WELCOME BACK 

Best BL of 2022 (so far)

Bad Buddy (you stopped after it)

Semantic Error (my favorite) got a 10/10 so I’m glad you saw it. 

Not Me - you said you’re watching it next. (my full review is here) 

Blueming (Korea) 9/10 iQIyI  

It’s a tiny bit dark and a tiny bit bittersweet, almost too honest to a university experience and first love for BL. I wasn’t into it at first, but the leads are solid and by ep 5 it got really good, becoming a narrative about self discovery meets understanding and accepting others people’s flaws without hurting them. Ultimately we witnessed two characters maturing because of each other and their mutual affection, without that affection becoming the conflict point. Instead tension was built around other aspects of identity, popularity, and self-worth. While production values were a touch lower than usual, Blueming included decent kisses and other forms of intimacy and a satisfying ending (all unusual for Korea) plus there’s judicious and very elegant use of tropes, (which is expected for Korea). (Full review here.)

Cherry Blossoms After Winter (Korea) 9/10 viki

Korea took on early Japanese sweet yaoi but gave it their signature softness and precise production style with a STUNNING color palette (beautiful pastels, sun-saturated over-exposure), manga framing style, some traditional BL character archetypes, that tiny edge of bullying roughness and out-of-control seme, plus FINALLY a palatable take on the stepbrothers trope and it was, in a word, classic. Sophisticated and understated CBAW is not slow, it’s just subtle. It's dream-like and atmospheric, as if the whole thing took place under cold water on a warm spring day. Is there plot or peril? Not really. Do we care? Also, not really. Look, I can’t help it, I’m old school and so is this show. I grew up reading sweet yaoi, and this was THAT YAOI just on my screen. There’s no objectivity with me and CBAW. It’s a beautiful pastiche and I loved it for how it made me feel and what it reminded me of. It’s not flawless, but it is a wonderful experience. (full review here)

My Ride (Thai ) 9/10 gaga

BL grew up with this pulp - a truly lovely and special little show featuring the extremely rare pairing of sunshine/sunshine AKA a cinnamon roll couple. Mature explorations of relationships using one of the softest, sweetest and most innocent friends to lovers vehicles. Kindly, overworked doctor meets broken-hearted motorcycle taxi driver in an “other side of the tracks” slow burn romance. The support cast is excellent, making for great friendship groups and family dynamics. With honest queer rep that adds to, but doesn’t impede the story, and genuine conversation about the nature of class, wealth, and classism, not to mention communication, honesty, and respect for boundaries, you can’t go wrong with this show. In other news, I am a sucker for a single dimple. (full review here) 

Behind Cut (Korea) 8/10 viki 

Better than average chemistry (for KBL) and a unique setting almost pulled this show into the realm of something quite special but it never quite managed to get away from the pacing and story structure issues endemic to KBL’s limited time frame and scope. Still It gets the job done. (full review here) 

Love Stage!! (Thai) 8/10

This BL surprised me with its charm. The acting was good, the leads were appealing, support cast on point, and the production values high. It followed the original manga story arc relatively closely: boy falls in love with girl as a child, grows up to discover girl is actually a very pretty boy. Although there are some quintessentially Thai changes that mellowed, softened, and extended the romance arc. One of the things I’ve always appreciated about this story is that the climax is about coming out as a celebrity couple as well as gay. I like the examination of the nature of celebrity versus privacy, and the contrasting kinds of closets. And I love that they depicted two couples with two different versions of this choice. A solid and enjoyable show. (full review here) 

Mr Cinderella AKA Xem trọn bộ Mr Cinderella (Vietnam) 8/10 YT  

(The first VBL ever to get higher than 7/10 from me.) This has higher production values and experienced BL actors plus two charismatic smoldering leads with good kissing and comfortable body language makes this Vietnam’s objectively best BL to date.

Oh! Boarding House (Korea) 8/10 viki

Spoiled rich kid in financial straights has to manage a boarding house full of quirky characters including: bratty cousin, wacko writer, adorable bestie with a crush, and the new hot jock (love interest). All in all, this show ended up being A LOT better than I expected. It was uneven in its attempt to reconcile early sitcom style with a serious love triangle and genuine romance but the quality of the performances and the kind and honest treatment of the characters make it definitely worth watching. (full review here) 

Tinted With You (Korea) 8/10 viki

Fun stylish time travel portal fantasy with a likable cast, historical setting, and two actual kisses that mitigate the rough plot and issues around anachronisms. (full review here)

And for funzies (if you liked season 1) Zettai BL ni Naru Sekai VS Zettai BL ni Naritakunai Otoko 2 AKA A Man Who Defies The World of BL 2

I know right? We aren’t even half way done with the year! 

There are some good ones airing right now too, but I never rec a BL until it has ended. 

[lol-jackles]

This ask is a bit long, so my apologies, but I did provide links and times, so I hope that helps.

So JIBCon 12 is this weekend and it’s just past Saturday and already Jensen has made a few comments that have both AAs and Jared stans losing their minds, the former calling him a sassy king and the later calling him a backstabbing jerk to Jared. So, Jared couldn’t make it to the con because of scheduling with Walker (Richard also cancelled and Matt's flight was cancelled so he is missing the con, too). So, the first apparently sassy/deplorable thing Jensen said was a joke about him almost not making it and the people who couldn’t make it at about 2:30-2:55 min ( https://youtu.be/ZQ25vdTq6Oo). So, both sides who are delighted/ outraged are saying this is a dig at Jared and either praising Jensen or crucifying him for throwing Jared under the bus. Based on the tone, I don’t feel like Jensen was being particularly shady, but I could see him being annoyed Jared didn’t come. What are your thoughts based on his tone?

Also, Jensen and Misha joked that Jared sent them a pic from his pool with Jensen suggesting EPs can slack off and make their own schedules, but he followed it up with saying Jared was bummed to miss it at about 29:25-30:50 ( https://youtu.be/9F0hGjPIiz4 ). I think their joking is a bit lame and clumsy, but I don’t think they are actually crapping on Jared here, but some are claiming Jensen should know better than to give AAs fuel. But, I don’t think they need fuel to go on a Jared hate spree. I also think Jensen and Misha's clumsy joke was awkward, but was also setting up what would happen later when Jared joined the con live during Misha's panel at around 9:23 ( https://youtu.be/aOU2WOu4JeM ). Some are saying Jared saw Jensen and Misha being salty about him on Twitter and was showing them up by joining the convention, and others were saying Jared was rude to interrupt Misha's panel. But, seriously, to get him up on screen the con organizers had to know this was coming, no? Thus, Jensen and Misha also knew, so they were just setting things up? Do you have any thoughts on this?

If you are able to take a minute to reply, thank you in advance. I don’t particularly have a dog in this fight, but I’m interested in your opinion as you seem to be a pretty neutral party and can see beyond the stan high emotions. Is Jensen sing an ass and shading Jared, or is he just being snarky, kind of thoughtless?

Fans never have the power they think have, especially from a handful of non-paying basement dwellers.

In the first clip, Jensen said "they send their....they didn't say shit", obviously plural since "they" is not Jared's official pronoun. Richard is the unofficial MoC, and Matt serves similar capacity at cons. Including Jared's absence, JibCon is missing the top 3 hosts that carries the con. You know Jensen is feeling the pressure to carry the entire weekend. I saw on the dash that con-goers were reporting that the energy level was way down and hoping that Jensen's arrival will magically change everything.

In the second clip the crowd didn't react to the jokes by Jensen and Misha, either because the crowd didn't understand the tone of the joke because English is not their 1st language or because they were still bummed over Jared's absence.

Remember kids, drama is easy, comedy is hard. Comedy is even harder to translate into another culture.

I agree it was a clumsy set up for Jared's virtual appearance during Misha's panel. These things are planned and arranged ahead of time.  Lol no Jared was not being salty over Jensen and Misha’s joke, I think this set up would have gone better over with an American audience because at least the men would understand the joke as males love to riff on eachother.  Men socialise by insulting each other, but don’t really mean.  It’s a way to toughen each other up, because if you can’t take some good-natured ego jabs from your boy, how can you stand up to your true enemies?  If you can hold your own against me, you’re my equal blah blah it’s a guy thing.

From what I’ve seen of the con so far, the actors are on their better behavior, though maybe because the usual suspects are missing and filled in by one last minute replacement, so the vibe between them are off.  

[papers4me]

Hi, I have always read your furuba reviews and I'm very curious about which are your favorite characters and why?

HI!

Thank you for reading my posts<3. I know I've been slow lately, but I'm not in a right emotional place right now, but I'll be back to posting soon. Actually talking abt furuba & story-telling here in tumblr is such a peaceful outlet that I'm thankful for.

While I love 97% of furuba characters, my faves kept changing while I watched the anime. I decided to have 5 top characters as faves & number one kept changing as the anime progressed.

Since I'm all abt story-telling, I think I need to separate the anime from the manga cuz no way in the anime that tohru would be on my top 5, heck not even top 10! I really don't like how her character was reduced to yuki's mommy-tohru, then angel-tohru, then villain-fixer tohru. The real individual tohru with her own personal story is just two eps long, so meh~. Also, while yuki is in my top 5 in the anime, I don't like how he's too perfect & prince in the anime while his own theme is the imperfect non-prince. Kyo's, too in my top 5 but I dont like how his own story is intentionally messed up by the anime with the stupid "I forgot" that contradicts the anime's own canon plot...

So, I'll tell you my top 5 fave character in the manga so fat with no particular order.

Tohru, while I'm yet to uncover her own plot in the manga, so far she has way more character exploration & depth!! She really feels like a different character from the anime! I'm shocked! The facial expressions, the occasional doubtful self-talk, even the "fake-smile"mask she puts is so expressive. She is treated as a character with a personal plot , regardless of being the protagonist. Her own plot is not reliant on being yuki's mommy, or the sohma's shrink, or a fixer. Her own plot line is abt grief & being lonely. It's the most common struggle that we all share regardless of our gender, race, financial status. Death is the ultimate fact & we'll face loosing a loved one & feeling lonely is not related to social skills nor being loved. I'll forever hate the anime for passing on such unique universal theme in favor of emphasizing the most popular shonen-themed coming of age story ( a boy becoming a man) "yuki" or the over-exaggerated drama in "kyo's". Like I dont want them to pass any of the 3 characters plotlines, but the anime made a choice & forever cemented anime tohru as the most "fixer"character in anime history like 98765678 of other female protagonists.

Yuki has way more character & realness in the manga. He doesnt come off as narrator-y as he does in the anime simply cuz the anime only chose the parts where yuki narrates as a voice-over & told us how to feel & dropped all the parts where he's interacting & actually talking to other characters not just the audience. His own personal story is abt "observing, learning & having the guts to make a move & embracing his own imperfection". I love this! Anime yuki is not imperfect. no. he's the icon of perfect prince, he even initiates a set of fanclub girls into the world that they float! He's so perfect, he "heals" a girl simply by talking to her once. That's all it takes him to fall in love & find his soulmate. While in the manga, I'm starting to see yuki display signs of "kind jerk" in the making, that's refreshing!

I admit that I didn't include kyo into my top 5 until se02. Don't get me wrong, he's so endearing since ep1, but didnt seem to be complex nor refreshing as the others. but se02, ep 9 was the first glimpse into his own character depth & I got hooked! I'm so in love with the theme of "repeated mistakes & guilt". it's such a mature theme & speaks to a much wider audience. The more we repeat the same mistakes, the more we self-sabotage our lives. Also, I love the love isn't a magic healing element in his story. He's the most loved character by tohru, yet her love only hurt him more due to his guilt. Moreover, the romantic element itself wasnt a cliche "love at 1st sight, nor lovers since childhood, nor girl fixes a guy, nor guy protects the girl from danger". Not at all. It was "love blooming subtly, little by little by mundane daily life". I cant express how much I applaud Takaya-san for such complex writing. In the anime, kyo only comes when it's his ep, other than that, he's absent or characterless. I hated that. So far in the manga, kyo has an existence even in other plotlines & has different aspects of his character. Also, I'm shocked at how much inner dialogue he has! like no too much that it involves other character nor too little that you dont understand him. It's just the right amount.

Momiji. He's the most balanced character. He isnt fixed by tohru, but isnt perfectly fine either. He's the definition of the right amount of kindness. He doesn sell himself to make other happy like tohru or kureno, nor puts himself in danger to save others like haru. He does help others but also helps himself. He helped his mom forget him cuz honestly that wasnt even his choice. it's the dad's. He participated willingly tho in avoiding her, but he didnt dwell in self pity & locked himself emotionally. He let go of loving tohru & encouraged kyo, but while he genuinely loved kyo, he didnt just back off cuz he's kind & a sacrificial angel. He stood like a man & challenged kyo for tohru's heart, but let go when he realized the choice is tohru's. not them. They can love her aromatically, but she's the one who decides who to be with. I love the theme of "not competing for love". it's not a competition really. never was. Still, as love sick & heart-broken as he was, momiji didnt dwell in self-pity & after allowing himself to heal, he bounced back & smiled. Momiji is no foolish traveler.

The spot is reserved to a certain character that I want the manga to prove their worth. I dont want them to be as shallow as the anime made them to be. I want to see depth. I dont know if the manga writes them better, but once I finish the manga, I'll know.

I wanted to add shigure but no. Despite all the complexity & the unique roles he has & despite how much I love characters with big giant flaws & ugly characteristics, shigre fell from my top 5 long ago. Look, this seems petty but I can't get over the fact that he slept with akito's mom. ewwwww. It makes me wanna puke! so disgusting. yuck yuck yuck! I dont mind that he "cheated"or wanted to "hurt akito by sleeping with ANOTHER woman". As a matter of fact, such acts create drama, ugly feelings & emotional struggle. I love such things in fiction. but he did it with the mother. He actually laid with both mom & daughter in his life. ewwwwww! This level of eww is so revolting to me! Some ppl are disgusted by bugs & worms that they want to puke, me.. when ppl sleep with both parent/off spring, or both siblings. Yuck! & it's even more yuck that it didnt stop their "love" from being real/ happy/ perfect/ passionate! & that it worked in making akito "want him more & be a "woman" for him"... ew!

lol, so yeah~here's my super long answer to ur super short qs. but I dont be "papers"if I didnt write till my fingers hurt, now would I? XD. I enjoyed ur question so much! thanks<3.

Anon, Don't get offended ny my shigure-rant! XD. its petty, I know. if u read this, tell me who's ur fave?

[mithrilwren]

Fanfic ask game for procrastinating on writing, which as of this week is actually accurate, since I’m finally writing again! (or, more specifically, editing what I wrote two months ago so I can get back to writing.)

Tagged by @essektheylyss! Thank you, this is exactly the kind of activity my brain needed tonight.

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

72! I was hovering at 69 for quite a while, sad to break the streak haha

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

~550K, which is somehow both more and less than what I expected

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Many, lmao. According to my Ao3 (omitting any blanket tags) I’ve got 22 there, plus at least two more over on ff.net from back in the day, and probably a couple more just on Tumblr. Most of them I’ve only written one fic for, though. I think the only fandoms where I’ve written more than one are Critical Role (35), Supernatural (15), Haikyuu!! (3), The Exorcist (2), Dimension 20 (2), and Yu-Gi-Oh! (2)

4) What are your top five fics by kudos?

Pick a Number, Any Number

Surprisingly, my number one is NOT a Critical Role fic, nor is it even one of my longer multi-chapters! It’s actually a one-shot I wrote for Haikyuu!! back in the day that took off far beyond what I expected. I wrote it for DaiSuga week, which was a ship I (to be completely honest) wasn’t even terribly invested in, but I had a fun idea and people seemed to like it! (It’s also much fluffier than what I usually write, which might be part of its broader appeal ;))

A Winter’s Ball

Unsurprisingly, the next four are all CR ;). This one was a M9 x VM crossover that I primarily wrote between the hours of 3-8am over the course of two insomnia-wracked nights and honestly, I think it shows in its uncharacteristically unstructured format (compared to my typical style, which tends to favour shorter scenes with very intentionally-placed breaks between, as opposed to scenes that flow into each other without pause). That’s not to say I think it’s a bad thing! The story, which follows Beau as she drifts through a party in Whitestone and observes the interactions between the various guests, actually flows better without that kind of interruption. This was also my first Beaujester piece. I started writing it right before Beau’s confession aired, and published it the week after, which definitely pushed me to make what had been only subtextual in the first half of my draft into the emotional lynchpin of the story.

Only the Nightingale Sings

I’m really glad this one still ranks as high as it does, because this story is absolutely my pride and joy. At one time (though I’m not sure that’s true anymore) it was the longest gen fic in the fandom, which is pretty cool! Plot-heavy, twist-heavy, angst-heavy, with seven points of view to follow and multiple interwoven storylines, it was a beast of a thing to write, and took almost exactly a year to finish, but the long process was oh-so worth it. Literally nothing makes me happier today than seeing a new comment or kudos on this story.

Closer Still

One of my earliest shadowgast fics, this one asks the question “how can you make the ‘stuck in an elevator trope’ fantasy?” The answer is, as always, demiplanes. This fic, perhaps more than any of my other shadowgast fics, is interesting to revisit, because it was written before the ep 97 reveal, but literally everything Essek does in it would suggest otherwise. It reads like I already knew he was a spy working with Trent, and yet I was firmly in the “Essek is NOT the spy” camp at the time. Gotta chalk that up to Matt telegraphing his growing guilt into the preceding episodes - even if I couldn’t see it, it was clearly there.

your dust from mine

My other novel-length CR multichapter, this fic brought me so much joy in the otherwise bleak summer of 2020. Most of my best memories of those four months come from working on this story. A Fjorclay adaption of The Goose Girl (my favourite fairytale) this story is about healing, growth, and figuring out what happiness means to you. While I know most people don’t read stories for this pairing anymore, for obvious reasons, I still cherish your dust from mine for how much of my heart I poured into it, and I look back on it with a huge amount of fondness.

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I do my absolute best to respond to every comment someone leaves on a story of mine, even if it occasionally takes a month or two. Replying to comments is one of my favourite parts of the fic-writing process - it gives me a chance to revisit peoples’ kind words and (often, incredibly insightful) observations, and I hope it also shows how appreciative I am of each and every one. 

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Though I write a lot of angst, I honestly tend more towards bittersweet endings than straight-up sadness. The only one I can really think of is What You Own - mind the tags if you follow the link, this is definitely one of the gnarlier things I’ve written for CR - whose ending is, admittedly, bleak. But this story so far removed from canon that I don’t think it’s the kind of angsty ending that lingers with you, as much as it packs a punch and then lets you go on your way.

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I tend to enjoy thinking about crossovers moreso than actually writing them. I’ve brainstormed a few, but none have ever made it much farther than the first page.

8) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

A few times! Not often, thankfully. Only one time in particular really sticks out to me, mostly for how it rocked my confidence in a way that I don’t think any comment could now, since I’ve had a few more years to build up faith in my own writing.

9) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Very, very occasionally.

10) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I hope not! 

11) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope!

12) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Oh man, back in the Glee days... yeah. Yeah, I have. Nothing that ever got published, though ;)

13) What’s your all time favourite ship?

Not sure I have one! Ships come and go with the seasons, and sometimes they’re best left in the era you found them.

14) What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

The Shadowgast figure skating AU. It’s never going to happen, but I wish it had.

15) What are your writing strengths?

I would say probably structure, in terms of constructing narrative arcs and through-lines. I’m organized with my writing in a way that I am in few other areas of my life, haha. I’d also say my sense of place - I think I’m pretty good at constructing living, breathing settings and exploring how my characters interact affect/are affected by them.

16) What are your writing weaknesses?

I have a tendency to be wordy (which you might surmise from the length of this post, lol) and repeat myself, usually by going over emotional beats that don’t need the extra reinforcement. On the other hand, I tend to underexplain certain elements (particularly, important plot details in fic, and character motivation in original writing), which can lead to confusion.

A couple years ago I would have said dialogue, but I’ve put a lot of practice into it and I honestly think I’ve improved a lot, which is pretty cool!

17) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I’ve never done it myself, and it’s not generally my favourite thing to read (like @essektheylyss said, it makes me hyper-aware that I’m reading words on a page, especially if I have to follow a footnote somewhere). That said, I’ve definitely also seen it used effectively, so I think it’s more down to whether it suits the particular story!

18) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Yu-Gi-Oh!

19) What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

As mentioned above, Only the Nightingale Sings.

[glassesandkim]

ok so anon sent me a rant that i asked for and I want to answer it but under a cut so we don’t have to spam the dash. 

Click under the read more if you want to read me and anon’s rant on grey’s anatomy s17 finale

anon said: “Magston... what the hell lmao. They literally had a whole plot in 1716 about postponing their wedding so they could do it right (with family) and then winston was getting all mad about it and thought maggie was backing out (even though its a pandemic and theyve only been engaged for like what? 3 months tops). Then they flew their older parent/grandparent out (in the middle of a pandemic and severely affects old people), only to have them object to the wedding at the ceremony and then they postpone anyways???? What???? They couldnt have done that over the phone lmao like I liked the idea of magston a lot in s16 but their arc this season made me hate them so much lol. Sometimes I think theyre less developed than schmico (like which writer decided to marry them this season ????? Fireable offence imo considering they have no previous relationship history Im pretty sure and Im pretty sure they were only dating/engaged for like a year???? Even if the show was ending a moving in together/dating/engagment endgame would have worked for them? Anyways).”

First of all: what the fuck is grey’s obsession with marriage?????

It might just be me, but take it from someone who worked in the wedding industry for 3 years, and lemme tell you: weddings are fun, beautiful, amazing, but they’re also hella for the privileged. YOU KNOW IT CAN COST UP TO $700 CAD TO HIRE AN OFFICIANT??? So the job Richard had? He could’ve made an easy few hundies. 

I really hate how fucking fake and badly acted that scene was when Maggie’s dad and Winston’s grandma objected to the marriage. Why did they wait until then and EMBARRASS both of them???? Like you said, what the hell was the point of last episode’s whole debacle???? They could’ve just not done that plot in ep 16 and had them get married anyway in ep 17 and had someone object to their marriage. 

Can’t believe Maggie flew two old people around the country during a goddamn pandemic. How irresponsible is it???? Again, I don’t know if it’s because they’re just way more relaxed in the states than where I’m from but wth....

anon said: Okay and then amelink. I LOVED how amelia was written this episode, but in the context of the time jump it was kind of weird? Like amelia was feeling this way about marriage/more kids for 8-9 months and never even hinted to link that she wasnt interested? And I like to think link respects amelia a lot, so why didnt he bring up marriage again before proposing? Or ask mer/maggie what they thought about him proposing? I can understand her not talking to link about her concerns but I find it hard to believe she didnt bring it up with mer/maggie once in that time frame? Idk it was just rushed and weird. And amelia clearly wasnt okay with the fostering thing and he still went with it anyways lol.

I can’t remember and I don’t care enough to go watch the ep, but did Amelia and Link move out of Mer’s house? 

The only good thing about this episode was Amelia, especially her conversation with Richard (in that not very Seattle courtyard rofl HONESTLY GREY’S PUT SOME EFFORT IN YOUR SETS. YOU KNOW YOUR ENTIRE SHOW IS SET IN SEATTLE RIGHT/???? LIKE MAKE IT RAIN IN THAT COURTYARD TO REFLECT HOW AMELIA FEELS IDK GAWD)

I also can’t believe Amelia would just be like, welp! I guess I’m a double mom now of my own child and this random crotch child that my baby daddy promised to his best friend. And oh ya, I don’t want anymore children but shhh its a secert.

I mean, I know Amelia technically fostered before but ............. (i’ll continue this in the next segment)

anon said: And the fostering thing... Jo’s plot was weird this ep too lmao. Like maybe Im just dumb but they never explained why she failed her background check? Idk this plot would have been a much better season long arc than a one episode arc lol. Although I think the single parent thing might be fun next season (the weird jo/levi friendship will be worth it if we get schmico babysitting)

They didn’t really explain why she failed her bg check. I also don’t know how money can fix her failed background check.

Also how fucking shady is it that Link and Amelia fostered a child? Wouldn’t the foster people want to give a child to a stable family who, let’s think, ARE MARRIED and HAVE A HOME OF THEIR OWN?

Who’s the dumbass in the writer’s room that thought of this ludicrous convenient solution for Jo? Only people with that much money and power can steal children. 

I really thought Jo’s fight for Luna should’ve started earlier and when it didn’t start, I thought it would bleed into next season. It’s not easy to adopt a child. 

anon said: Also is our last jackson appearance on this show really a random facetime with jo? Would have much rather had a face maggie to congratulate her on her marriage (why wasnt he there???) 

Maggie’s kind of his step sister or whatever the f they are. Jackson could’ve taken a break from solving racism to attend his family member’s wedding, right?

anon said: Okay and then the interns... we never actually saw mer teaching them? Im hoping that theres a bigger intern/resident focus next season because of mers new job but now Im not optimistic haha. And why are the residents and interns grouped together? And why was levi so involved with mer’s patient that he wasnt pulled from the wedding to help???????? Its a double lung transplant get the upper year resident in there PLEASE!!! Or at least let him take over the surgery when mer passed out. Cristina would have been doing this shit in her intern year. I assure you he would much rather be at the surgery than the wedding of someone he has never interacted with. And Surely that surgery would have been better if more than 2 surgeons were working on it?????? my ONLY hope is that the time jump means we’re getting helm and levi aged up to 5th years and we get some chief resident/specialization/boards plots for them next year.

i hate grey’s and their ridiculous time jumps and blatant disregard to HOW THIS WILL AFFECT THE CAREERS OF THEIR RESIDENTS. 

I bet, like Teddy’s child, Levi and Helm are gonna be residents for 10 years and never choose a speciality. I want to revoke grey’s rights to call themselves a medical drama. There’s nothing medical about this show.

JUST WATCH MER TOUCH A DIRTY ASS BASIN AND THEN TOUCH A WHOLE HUMAN LUNG WITH THE SAME HANDS

YOU KNOW HOW DIRTY THAT BASIN IS SITTING ON WHATEVER THE FUCK IT WAS SITTING ON??? GET A NURSE TO HOLD THE BASIN. YOUR HANDS ARE STERILE

(Okay, I’m also sure the basin would be sterile but I can’t. I can’t believe in real life, they’d have the same hands hold a basin and a human organ. Someone who’s a doctor or works in the OR, tell me if I’m right. I need to know. )

Also, Bailey taking off her mask when she’s hugging Mer after the surgery. Right TO JAIL!

anon said: And finally... not half of maggies wedding guests ditching the wedding to go stand in a hallway and clap for mer LMAO like they couldnt have done that the next day??? Like I said before, most of this episode was comedy lol.

it’s COVID. Why are people going into the hospital unnecessarily??????

Yes, but you’re right. I gotta watch these eps like it’s a comedy or I’ll LOSE MY FACKING MIND

anon said: Redeeming parts of this episode: merhayes still has potential, need them to stop having the same scene over and over again though. Nico ily and alex get that cheque for sitting there, dancing, and clapping for ellen. Jo selling her shares to koracick... lmao. Bokhee and the other nurse getting their vaccines :’)

LOL @ merhayes having the same interaction. I was telling some people that I’d love for Hayes and Owen to have some scenes and for Hayes to kick Owen’s ass. Because like @schmico-ing said, Owen is a child collector and Hayes would absolutely fucking hate him.

YES ALEX LANDI GETTIN’ THAT DOUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHH. What an amazing job. I hope he gets paid in the 6 figures for his time at grey’s.

I don’t know how I feel about Koracick. I love caring Koracick. I hate asshole Koracick. I feel like they’re two different people. 

BOHKEE <3

Anyways, love your rants. I look forward to them when s18 starts or even whenever you have the odd urge to rant!

[gizkasparadise]

cdrama rec/review: go ahead

KDRAMA AND CDRAMA MASTER LIST OF REVIEWS

Series: go ahead Episodes: 40 Genres: family, healing/melodrama, slice of life, romance Spoilers in the Rec: for the first 20% ish/set-up If You Like, You’ll Like: reply 1988, le coup de foudre, find yourself (same production company/main male actor), rain or shine/just between lovers, found family stories, meet again stories

Rank: 10/10** (see Drawbacks section)

PREMISE

widower hai chao and his 6 year old daughter jian jian live happily above his noodle restaurant despite the recent, tragic death of his wife. one day, dysfunction junction a married couple (he ping, a police officer, and chen ting, a real piece of work) move into the same building with their 7 year old son, ling xiao. immediately, jian jian attaches herself to ling xiao, who is unexpectedly grim for a small child. 

because ling xiao’s family is less-than-healthily grieving the loss of their youngest child, ling xiao’s sister who died in a terrible accident. The Apartment of Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms eventually implodes, ending with chen ting abandoning her husband and son. he ping, suddenly a single father, and hai chao come to a friendly partnership that is clearly alluding to gay marriage where they co-raise both of their kids--hai chao as the primary caregiver, and he ping supporting them financially through his job as a policeman.

meanwhile, the neighborhood busybody is dead-set on getting hia chao remarried. eventually she introduces him to a divorced single mother, he mei, and her son zi qiu, who is ling xiao’s age. they sort of start to date, but it culminates in he mei skipping town and leaving zi qiu behind. hai chao, man with a heart of gold, informally adopts him and zi qiu becomes jianjian’s foster brother.

from there, the trio grow up happily and become inseparable. but once zi qiu and ling xiao graduate high school, the bullshit parade their respective childhood skeletons reappear in their lives. circumstances lead to the boys moving overseas, leaving jianjian and their fathers behind. 

they reunite after 9 years, when the boys return to a home where they hope to pick things back up from where they left off. things are more complicated than that, as jianjian finds herself in a new life and surrounded by new people. 

MAIN CHARACTERS

li jian jian

hai chao’s daughter and the only girl in the family. she attended the required short-hair-low-grades training program required of all cdrama youth female leads. super positive and outgoing, as well as the youngest of the three pseudo-siblings, jian jian grows up spoiled and over protected by her father and brothers, and as a result is completely devastated once her family falls apart. it’s so sad.

after the time skip, she’s an on-the-verge successful artist who makes woodcarvings, and exudes big art bro energy. inhales sugar like it’s nobody’s business. she inherited her father’s disease called caring too much, and it’s incurable!! 

ling xiao

the eldest brother and resident fun police. ling xiao comes from a seriously toxic home that finally seems to improve once his mother leaves. but then she comes back. fucking great. introverted to the point of being withdrawn to anyone but his chosen family, ling xiao’s had to carry a lot of emotional weight that takes a larger and larger toll on him as the series progresses. please get this boy some therapy. 

becomes a dentist because jian jian needs one. wears a lot of monochromatic outfits with low necklines because heavy angst but make it fashion. has been in love with jian jian since high school and is still carrying that torch 9 years later.

he zi qiu  

the middle child who grows up in hai chao and jian jian’s home, and is her foster brother in all but paperwork. hotheaded, zi qiu and jian jian basically share two brain cells that ling xiao routinely takes from them for safekeeping. he spoils jian jian, sneaking her snacks and junk food and wants to become a pastry chef so he can open a sweet shop for her!!

my favorite character. just wants to be wanted 8( him and hai chao’s relationship is my favorite dynamic in the series. will sob while driving a pink moped. is too proud to beg

li hai chao (left) and ling he ping (right)

the greatest (hai chao) and okayest (he ping) dads in the world! noodle dad/hai chao has never done anything wrong in his life, ever, and we know this and we love him. he ping isn’t a bad person, but demonstrates pretty classic absentee parenting/isn’t as emotionally present in his son’s life as hai chao. hai chao is the heart of the family, and would do anything for his kids 8( 

SOME SUPPORT CHARACTERS 

tang can (left) and qiu ming yue (right)

jian jian’s #GirlGang and roommates. they, like literally everyone in this drama, have some severe mom issue hang-ups. tang can (left) is a former child actress who is struggling with her lack of success as an adult and gives well-meaning but absolutely terrible advice on the regular. 

ming yue (right) is jian jian’s best friend since childhood and as an adult is trying to break free from her mother’s controlling nature--she’s also had a thing for ling xiao for the last 9 years. raises fish for symbolism purposes.

chen ting

ling xiao’s mom and certified garbage human. unable to cope with the death of her daughter that was her fault lbr, she abandons her family and disappears for ten years. she forces her way back into ling xiao’s life when he turns 18, where it’s revealed that she’s remarried and ling xiao has a younger half-sister chengzi (”little orange”). shit goes down, and soon ling xiao is forced to move back to singapore to serve as primary caregiver to both his mother who abandoned him and the half sister he barely knows. 

emotionally abusive and basically hits every single square on the toxic parent bingo card. i just. i just hate her. even typing this out is making me mad.

he mei

zi qiu’s mother. after a few dates with hai chao, she ends up ditching her kid and disappearing for unknown reasons. is a slightly better parent than chen ting but that’s like saying some poison kills you slower. the show tries to bring us around on her but it didnt work for me. 

SOME OTHERS

zhuang bei, zi qiu’s best friend growing up who i would like a lot less if he wasn’t played by the same actor who played my beloved dachuan

zheng shuran, jian jian’s first boyfriend and fellow artist who’s got a weird thing for women’s waists and pretentious artists’ statements

du juan, jian jian’s friend who co-owns their woodworking studio. has absolute trash taste in men

chengzi, ling xiao’s half-sister who can be a brat but dear god does she need to be protected/saved 

**DRAWBACKS

so this is a weird one for me. what i didn’t like i really didn’t like, but what i loved i really loved. ultimately, the factors/uniqueness of this show and the loveability of the main characters outweighed the negatives and it’s one of my favorite dramas.

THAT SAID. i got some #thoughts on this one. 

first, there are literally no positive mother figures in this show. not a damn one. they are all negligent or controlling at best or down right abusive at worst. no woman over 30 is portrayed positively and that’s a big No from me. 

the last 10 eps have some pacing issues and focus on the wrong people. spending the remaining episodes focused on one of the most universally hated characters vs. the main family was a bad move 

the show tried to redeem or make us sympathize with characters that were, to me, completely irredeemable. one case is worse than the other, but both of them were terrible people that deserved to be cut out of the main family’s lives.  

REASONS TO WATCH

the main family. the characters are so wonderful and nuanced, and their dynamics with one another were amazing. you’ll fall in love with hai chao aka noodle dad and the trio. they go through so many trials but they still stick together and it’s ultimately a healing drama and i loved it very much.

the central romance was less in focus, but the pining is enough to make jane austen emerge from the grave. i loved the leads together, and while LOL ling xiao’s attachment to jian jian was not always healthy, they supported each other and it made me smile. i love me a tortured pining dude.

#Acting. everyone played their parts to perfection. the child actors in particular were so well-cast (esp baby zi qiu)

the soundtrack lmao. you watch the opening credits and know you’ll need to buckle up

idk it’s a very unique show, and i haven’t seen one like it. reply 1988 comes close, but it doesn’t tackle the same issues and it was all just very real and earnest. 

Final Thoughts.

GOODNIGHT, GOOODBYYYYYE MY CHILDREEEEEEEN

[whatiwillsay]

for the agoraphobic anon from today’s confessions ep:

i had/have the same issue, but i made some progress that might be helpful for you to reference!

pick one place to go, and plan it like 2 weeks in advance (but no more than 3 weeks in advance, bc you don’t want to agonize over it for too long). for me, i chose a grocery store that is 5 mins from my house and has self-check out machines (to avoid human interaction lol).

i researched the grocery store, found a ton of photos of the inside, and asked my mom to tell me a lot of details about the store, used yelp to find its least busy hours, etc. that way, i knew what to expect.

i wrote out a plan for that day and for what i wanted to do in the store. so like: wake up at 8, shower at 9, wear this outfit, have my mom drive me at 10:05, arrive at 10:10, go to aisle 11 for peanuts, use a self check out machine, and then leave. it’s helpful if you already have a set morning routine (like waking up at 8 and showering at 9) that you can continue to follow so this day doesn’t have as much change associated with it.

then on the day of, i made sure to take my meds and drink a lot of water, etc. then i followed my plan, and it was hard, but it was okay :) and when i went back to the grocery store two weeks later, it was slightly less hard :)

(also, a tip: i wore really bulky headphones in the store. it blocked out the noise, and i was able to play one really calming song that i know all the words to, on repeat. plus, no one tried to talk to me since i had them on. also, i brought sunglasses to wear in the store in case the lights were too bright, but they ended up being fine.)

if going to the store sounds too hard, it might be helpful to ask your mom (or whoever) to drive you to the store and then back home, a few times on separate days. that way when you do finally go to the store, you know what the drive will be like, so it’s less scary.

this worked for me (i have autism btw), but it might not work well for you 🤷 i know i always feel more comfortable when everything is very planned, but for some people, that just leads them to agonize too much, so there might be other better methods for you.

also, once i got better at making planned trips to the store etc., one thing that helped me make a lot of progress was having an Obligation Location. for me, thats church - every sunday at 9 am i go to church, no matter what. that’s my obligation to myself. and it was super hard at first, but now that it’s a routine, i’m very good at leaving the house for church :) and i’ve found over time that being good at leaving for church helped me get better at leaving for other things too. (of course, it took me like 5 months of grocery store trips and other things before i was ready to do church, so yeah. baby steps.)

also, leaving the house has been so much harder for me during covid. like it was really discouraging for at first haha. so it might be smart to wait until covid has significantly subsided in your area before you try going somewhere.

i wish you the best of luck, anon ❤️ and yes, online therapy does help a bit. and don’t be afraid to switch therapists if your current one isn’t working well for you - switching therapists to one who had a better communication style for me was very helpful for me.

great tips anon thank you so much for taking the time to write this up! very kind of you 💙

i second wearing headphones in public that has always helped my anxiety!

[wordsandsound14]

Switchfoot albums ranked (not including interrobang)

I've been thinking about this a lot too recently. Ik I'm late to the party on this one but I don't get on reddit often. Only got on since the band did the ama. I won't include interrobang since it's so new and ranking it seems difficult. (worst to best)

11. Learning to Breathe - While this record has some of the best written songs (Learning to Breathe, The Loser, Love is the Movement), it also has some of my least favorites (Poparazzi, Innocence Again, Living is Simple). I often just find myself bored with this album and disappointed. There are plenty of dipping of toes in ideas and then abandoning them. For instance, the beginning of Erosion is such a cool unique sound and then it's abandoned for the rest of the song. The themes of this album are also really boring to me, even when I was a christian. I just found it wasn't taking a unique perspective or doing anything different with its themes when they have done so before.

10. Where the Light Shines Through - I feel this was the band when they were the most uninspired. It feels like it was trying to sell itself to the CCM crowd and make some waves there since it's been the most consistent place of making waves and it still didn't do that. Don't get me wrong, there are great songs here (If the House Burns Down Tonight, Float, Holy Water). The first half of this album is super good. It's that back half that feels like an axe to the first half. Every song on the back half has something that disappoints me. And I'm fine with christian themes and all but it felt like this album had more just praise songs vs the questioning of faith. Would've been a great EP and it kinda made sense that they went into hiatus after this album. I also feel that the themes of the album didn't really make it to it. Jon talked about how he was in a some struggle and storm before the album and then by the time they got recording it more so became an album after the storm. And I just wonder what was going on. Cause there's only small hints. I can only feel that an album that actually talked about that or coming out of the storm would've worked but we got way after the storm and leaving a lot of good inspiration behind in a ball of mystery that we still don't know about. I don't need to know every information that he went through but the songs got effected by it.

9. New Way to be Human - I think what holds this album down the most is it's lack of direction. I can feel them trying to tackle all of their ideas from folk to pop to indie while maintaining their identity. I just don't feel these ideas get fully fleshed out. But these songs are really well written and the philosophy bleeding into these tracks and ending up being a basis of many future songs can all be tracked back to this album. This album is just a very specific listen so I don't often turn to this album. I do think Something More is the most overlooked song, with Amy's song being a close second. I also think Incomplete is a just a better version of I Turn Everything Over so it feels like a repeat track. But I really appreciate what this record represents in their career and see it as a stepping stone of sorts. (Company Car is one of their best earlier works)

8. Native Tongue - Seems a lot of people have very different feelings about this work. I think the biggest thing that makes Native Tongue feel distinct is that it feels like a Jon Foreman project with Switchfoot. Like Jon was the only one who couldn't stay away from the studio and was calling the other members. They came and were happy to but it was Jon with the initiative. At least, it's how it sounds to me. A lot of these ideas are incomplete. But when they aren't, they hit really well (Native Tongue, Dig New Streams, Oxygen). And the amount of trying different things! Granted a lot of ideas of modern production ideas but I'm glad they happened. But some I'm not too fond of (Joy Invisible, Wonderful Feeling, The Strength To Let Go). I feel this album also really fell short without a good producer. It's not the production value that doesn't work but Switchfoot works best when there is a producer there that works with them and pushes them. I fell they could have been better but it also has some solid songs in here.

7. Legend of Chin - This is one of the most fun Switchfoot records but has such a distinct sound and charm to it. I understand that a lot of songs are about girls that Jon doesn't even know any more but there isn't a bad song on here. It's all just fun from 3 guys jamming in a room. I used to not like the closing track but it's grown on me and I crave that sound more and more. Some standout tracks are Home, Chem 6A, You. With Underwater being a super creative song. I don't have a ton to say other than this is root Switchfoot and their cores are on display here.

6. Fading West - I feel this is their most misunderstood record. The struggle this album went through is tremendous. Take the two best things Switchfoot is known for and strip them away and they still make a record worth listening too imo. It's not their best but it's really ambitious, even if accidental. Originally, they were going to only strip the guitars away but when you listen to the story of Fading West, going on a journey to feel inspired. There are plenty of lines hinting that Jon was having writer's block (blood clot pen). It does mean the lyrics suffered some here but I don't think they suffered a ton. They achieved the california surf music. However, I do think they missed a huge part that I feel the fans were wanting. It's the sound that's on the ep. It's the one we were advertised and didn't receive on the album. I would loved if the album had the sound of Edge of the Earth (the song). But I really appreciate the risk cause it's a huge one. (stand out tracks: Love Alone Is Worth the Fight, BA55, Slipping Away).

5. Vice Verses - This was the best they have ever been as musicians (you could argue this for Oh Gravity too tho). But the amount of pushing their musical talent is very apparent on this album. The bass lines and drum rhythms are amazing. The only songs I'm kinda eh about are Rise Above It (still has great production and energy) and The Original (still has amazing bass and guitar parts). This album does have a weird issue with the lyrics either hitting really deep parts of your heart or being a very vague or simple line. The production is also the best imo and everything is layered super well. The only production that I disagree on is on Where I Belong (the digital claps for why and some parts sounding a little inconsistent with the rest of the album). But the choices in the sounds of the guitars and genre jumps and the grunge. Still lacking in some areas but still a solid record. (Holds my favorite Switchfoot song Thrive)

4. Oh! Gravity. - Oh yes, the golden era as I call it. I pin this album as the core Switchfoot sound. If you want to hear what Switchfoot sounds like, this album nails it. Guitars, fun, great lyrics, and musical variety. I don't have much words like I did for Chin. It's a pretty simple album to digest and it's the quickest made one (from what i'm aware of) and it shows but in the best way possible. It's also only made better by the podcast series they made. The only things that hold this album down a bit is American Dream and Burn Out Bright being repeat tracks of another (American Dream being the better one) and the double edged sword of it being simple when surrounded by high effort long works that are beyond exceptional.

3. The Beautiful Letdown - The Classic Foot album that defined their careers. It's not a joke tho that everything went up a whole level with this album. Something clicked in Jon's head that turned out some of his best lyrics and the song formats and sound just grew a ton. Jerome being an essential new member. And only one song that's a little meh (Redemption) and even the meh song is still catchy. Overexposure might be why it's not higher but I feel I have more reasons being that it does sound dated. Most of the time for better but a little for worse. I also feel that if Drew was a part of this album, it would be up a another level also. There's just a slight amount of incompleteness to this record. Not sure exactly but regardless the songwriting on this album is amazing and the questions and the way they are asked remain timeless.

2. Nothing is Sound - Grunge at its best here. I'm still not certain what Jon was going through here other than what the lyrics mention but whatever he was feeling hits hard. It resonates so much. To this day, these songs hold my throat. Not a bad song on here. It's a really good album that only gets beat by it's production value. Some songs could've been produced better (ironically Jon mentioned that recently too lol). Golden, The Setting Sun, and We Are Young Tonight are the forefront of those. And it's not like they are terribly produced but they are missing a little from what they could be. But literally it. Front to back, this record just rocks while wallowing in despair from the fallen world and the loneliness and helplessness it brings. It also represents a huge decision on what to do after a breakout record and is one of the best records after a band reached public success.

1. Hello Hurricane - The whole sound of this record is the most complete the band has ever sounded to me. The writing on this album is so great. Not one song is a waste and process this album went through is amazing. I get that they can't (prob shouldn't) do this process but damn was it worth it. This project sounds so complete and so organically made, even with two songs that I feel could have been switched out. (Always isn't my favorite but I may having it be a song for a past relationship. But it also does still have a lot of raw emotion in it that I appreciate and can get past my own perceptions. It's the lesser of the offense. Free is the other one only cause it kinda is booty in studio. It's live version makes ya wish it was that way on the record). But i adore these lyrics and I love the sounds they used without washing it up with production but still using production (Sing it Out) as a tool. It's so good and I love this album so much

quick review of interrobang is that it’s a very solid record and I love the sound of it so far. It doesn’t take my top record but it’s an insanely catchy album with a lot of listens in the future. I’d probably rank it as 2 or 3. Not sure if it’s above or below nothing is sound. but really give it a listen. It’s exactly what i’ve been wanting from the band for so long

[vhs-ghost]

DT Season 3 Episode Thoughts:

Just a short review of every Season 3 Episode because why not (no spoilers, its just long lol):

Just a short review of every Season 3 Episode because why not: 1 Challenge of the Senior Junior Woodchucks! Pretty good. Didn’t like it as a season premiere tho, just would have preferred Quack Pack to start season 3. Happy for a Huey centered beginning tho. And set up the journal and FOWL well. 2 Quack Pack! Great episode. The designs we so good. Loved Huey breaking the 4th wall in Abed fashion. Just really enjoyable. Also side note, this is my favorite Launchpad look in the series. I love him in the pilots hat and on top of that I love the color palette. That goes for everyone else too. Love those bright 90s colors. 3 Double-O-Duck in You Only Crash Twice! If I had a nickel and every time a Disney cartoon took my favorite character (who has red hair) and gave him a weird James Bond 180 degree character change with a dumb voice and a suit, I’d have 2 nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice (the other one is Bashful from the 7D). I like it because it’s got Launchpad. A lot of Launchpad. And that’s all I’ll say. 4 The Lost Harp of Mervana! Pretty good. Love when Donald’s around. I liked that the harp moved along the secret Webby plot. A fun episode. 5 Louie's Eleven! We got Daisy in this episode, which is a major win. This DonDaisy is so so good. For the rest of the ep, I wish Huey had been part of the scheme more. I just like it when my boys are together. It was nice to see the 3 Caballeros even tho I preferred their first episode. Mark Beaks was kinda funny in this episode. Enjoyable, but I seriously missed Huey. 6 Astro B.O.Y.D.! It made me cry. I don’t think there’s anything else to say. (Seriously an amazing episode. I love Huey, Gyro, Fenton, and Boyd. So fantastic). 7 The Rumble for Ragnarok! A good episode if I recall. Huey got the animation budget in this episode. The fights were meh but I enjoyed the triplets in this one. Also enjoyed Launchpad knowing a lot about something (other than Darkwing of course). 8 The Phantom and the Sorceress! Aaaaaand here’s where I stop having a good time. A boring ep after a long hiatus. Magica annoyed me, Gladstone bored me, and I really used to like Webby but I can hardly stand Webby-centered episodes anymore. 9 They Put a Moonlander on the Earth! I don’t like Penumbra very much and Webby was annoying. I also don’t like seeing LP making a fool of himself (and putting the kiddos at risk in the process). HOWEVER, I like pretty much having confirmation that Penumbra is a lesbian. 10 The Trickening! Was a let down. Would have been more fun earlier on in the series I think. I also can’t believe LP is THAT dumb. It was painful. 11 The Forbidden Fountain of the Foreverglades! I really loved seeing Goldie. Such good scroldie content with good kisses. A fun ep with an interesting concept but I had WAY too many questions about how no one was suspicious after tons and tons of college kids go missing over like, many years. Super dark. 12 Let's Get Dangerous! Absolutely amazing. Best episode of the season by far. One of the best in the show. I just really really love Darkwing Duck and the Mallard/McQuack family brings me incredible joy. 13 Escape from the ImpossiBin! Solid ep. The ending where everyone is calling Scrooge with what was stolen SLAPPED. Also the rooftop showdown and Donald being just the fucking best. 14 The Split Sword of Swanstantine! Liked the dynamics of the children. Enjoyed Lena and The Duke and Louie and Violet. Those parts were great. I feel like I didn’t need more Dewey Webby friendship stuff like the others were so much more unpredictable. Still not my favorite episode tho. 15 New Gods on the Block! Great because it had Daisy. I just wanted DonDaisy content. 16 The First Adventure! A very cute episode. I just love seeing Donald and Della as kids. A fun episode and I really enjoyed it. 17 The Fight for Castle McDuck! Boring and a let down. Not nearly as interesting or good as the other episode that took place at Castle McDuck. 18 How Santa Stole Christmas! I did not care for this one at all. I would have preferred not actually ever knowing more of Scrooge’s hatred towards Santa. I enjoyed the mystery. If anything, I would have preferred the whole family to save Christmas like they did at the end. Also, why is Scrooge such a dick sometimes? Like you think he’s getting better and then gave everyone coal. Like come on, man. 19 Beaks in the Shell! Not my favorite, but definitely not the worst. I missed Fenton. He and Gandra were pretty cute I guess. Love that Huey content. The best scene was Louie pretending to be Huey. Needed more Gyro. Mark is hella annoying and a shit villain now. 20 The Lost Cargo of Kit Cloudkicker! Liked Kit. Disliked everything else. Weird Dewey arc. Needed Launchpad. 21 The Life and Crimes of Scrooge McDuck! Could have been so much better. I feel no sympathy for Magica. Scrooge isn’t blameless for things tho like he was a dick for a long ass time and still has dickish tendencies. I hate Doofus why did the episode have Louie apologizing to him???? Bad! Just a weird episode. 22 The Last Adventure! TBD but I really hope it’s good. I don’t wanna get my hopes up too high tho.

[vivalavi-daa]

Fav 2019 K-Dramas

2019 blessed us with many intriguing kdramas with unique stories, don’t you think? I’m bored during quarantine and decided to post this. Anyways, here are my favs:

1. Vagabond

There, this picture says it all: this drama is fast paced, SO intense, and on fire. I love every minute of it! Vagabond is different than another k-dramas. I’m not lying when I say this drama literally makes me cry and scream. Sometimes I even had to pause in the middle of episode just to catch my breath lol. The plot is so well written and full of unpredictable storylines (which is what I love the most about Vagabond–that every episode always has a way to surprises me). Although, many viewers disappointed with how they ended Vagabond with a cliffhanger. I, too, really hope they consider making the second season to satisfy our curiosities. But either way, I don’t regret watching this drama. Not at all. Because this drama is too amazing

2. When the Camellia Blooms

Unlike majority of romance k-dramas, this drama’s love story is centered around a young woman who raises her child on her own. I gotta say, this is one high quality k-drama. I could even judge it from its lovely opening video. Every episode always has meaningful messages behind it. The storylines are rich and presented in such a way that makes viewers immersed in the stories and emphatize with the characters. First, they make us understand Dongbaek’s dark past and her struggle as a single parent, then they make us emphatize with Dongbaek’s son who grow up without a dad figure. We also get to see the perspectives of her mom & Yong Sik (the lead guy)’s mom as mothers,  the issues faced by side characters, and conflicts that arise from triangle love story. In addition, they also involved mistery of murderer in the stories! Can you believe how many of these can we swallow in one drama? One time this drama is heartbreaking, then it’s heartwarming, another time it gets super dark. 

Also, what I find many viewers love from this drama is how Yong Sik cherishes Dongbaek and love her for what she is, which is why I concluded this drama is perfect for woman who feels insecure. Why? Because with the way Yong Sik endlessly convinces Dongbaek, he reminds us that every woman is good enough, deserves to feel loved and receive happiness. And I love him for that.

3. Her Private Life

There is a reason why people said this is the perfect kdrama for fangirl, since the story is told from the perspective of a die hard fan (Sung Deok Mi). Those who have experienced being fangirls know how well this drama represent fangirls’ life: what fangirls do, and how fangirling affects our lives. It’s all displayed in such fun atmosphere that it’d give you good feelings while watching it. Personally, I am attracted to its opening video. It’s really catchy and reflect the fun vibes of Her Private Life. I really recommend this drama if you want to lift your mood.

But on top of that, Sung Deok Mi’s relationship with Ryan Gold is the major part of why I highly appreciate this drama!! Their relationship is unlike any relationship I’ve ever seen before. They’re very mature, respect each others’ dreams and what each other loves, always resolve conflicts through discussion. They portray the definition of a healthy relationship and I really admire that.

4.  Extraordinary You

The word extraordinary isn’t used in the title for no reasons. The storylines are, indeed, extraordinary. It is a mix of comedy, high school romance, star crossed soulmates, fantasy, mistery, comedy and a glimpse of stories in historical settings at the same time. Thus, it’s not exaggerating when fans said “you don’t have to look for specific dramas, you can get it all here”.

The actors & actresses’ acting skills are superb and we can find so many funny & relatable lines here. But one of the best things about Extraordinary You is they place the second leads in the center of spotlight! Finally nice second leads get the justice they deserve. They portrayed how lead guy who’s rude and feels entitled to have his crush doesn’t have the slightest chance of capturing the woman’s heart. Instead, the nice second leads who show respects and always put the woman’s desire before his own are what woman find attractive. I highly praise this drama for that.

5. Crash Landing on You

In 2019, we encounter many dramas with unique synopsis, including this one: a relationship between a North guy and a South woman. I have no doubt in Son Ye Jin and Hyun Bin’s chemistry since the beginning. Their incredible chemisty makes every romance scenes look even more sweet and pure and sometimes cute. Although I wasn’t really engaged with the first two episodes, the next episodes gets more appealing and satisfying. It’s nice to see the progress of both lead characters’ development and how they help each other overcome their issues. Aside from Se Ri (Son Ye Jin)’s relationship with Jeong Hyeok (Hyun Bin), her relationship with the North soldiers and neighboors at millitary village are pretty adorable. Their interaction always give me warm fuzzy feelings and they’re what I miss the most from this drama honestly.

6. One Spring Night

If you love Something in the Rain, I’m sure you’ll love this one too since both are the works from the same director. It has similiar atmospheres and similiar soundtracks vibes (both have really beautiful soundtracks by the way). Like Dongbaek from When the Camellia Blooms, the lead guy in this drama (Yoo Ji Ho) is also a single parent. I agree with fans saying this isn’t the kind of drama for everyone. This is more like slice of life and they aren’t in a rush to throw in conflicts as well as its resolution and I love it that way. Through this, they made it possible for us to process our emotions while the conflicts are presented.

The stories are also realistic: the issue experienced by the lead guy as a single parent, issue that’s arised from triangle love story, how pride and status mean for men, also a glimpse of abusive relationship, and the heartwarming sisterhood. And if we look closely, we could see how they tried to portray the influence of culture in the family and in the way they resolve a conflict. 

7. Catch the Ghost

I thought the ghost from the title refers to an actual ghost but thank god it’s not. Here, ghost is a nickname for a criminal–the villain of the drama. Even when the story centered around the same villain from the firat until the last eps, but I wasn’t bored at all watching this. In fact, it is what made me engage with the stories and made me continue watching the next eps although I had assignments to do 😅. It’s just so, so exciting to watch. The stories are dark, sad, but funny at times. However, some viewers (including me) found the lead woman (Yoo Reung) annoying at first because of her selfishness. But I promise it’s still worth to watch because in the later eps, you’ll understand why she is the way she is which makes it easier to tolerate and even emphatize with her. She’s actually lovable, and her relationship with the lead guy (Ko Ji Seok) is really cute! In fact, Ko Ji Seok is one of my fav characters in kdrama land!

8. Class of Lies

You know, I always love kdramas with unpredictable storylines. Just like what this drama has. I know the settings are set in high school but it is waaay too dark for a high school story. You can even see it from the picture that it has gloomy vibes. I thought it’s the typical high school kdrama about bullies or corruption but it’s truly exceeds my expectation. From the first episode, I already saw the potential of this drama and already hooked with the misteries. I felt so tense throughout watching the entire drama. I kept clicking the next eps to find out if things are getting better and if there is any clue to the misteries here. But I swear everytime I thought I figure something out, this drama always has surprises to give. So brilliant. I stan.

9. At Eighteen

We could tell from the title that this drama must be related to the dynamic life of 18 years old teenagers. Considering this is the age where we explore ourselves, this drama portrayed how different teens could have different issues to face: trying to fit in at school, stand up against bullies, trying to be in top tier at school, trying to get good grades whether it’s to get into reputable colleges or to meet parents’ high expectation, trying to experience romance, AND exploring sexual orientation (actually this is the first kdrama i’ve watched that portrayed gay issues so I was like wow??). So, the stories aren’t only focused on the main characters, but the side characters too. Though I really adore the main guy in this drama: Choi Jun Woo. I even made an essay about why I think he’s an ideal guy lol. If you’re interested, here you go

Not only does this drama describe the issues faced by 18 yo students, but also the struggles faced by the teacher. It shows us how teachers can feel nervous too whenever he’s about to teach or deal with the students, how certain teachers care about the wellbeings of their students, not just care about their grades. I appreciate that from the drama, really, I do. This drama is calm, heartwarming, and meaningful.

10.  Love Alarm

Tried to watch it because of Kim So Hyun, and I quickly got invested in the stories. I like the futuristic theme in this drama. The idea of a Love Alarm app itself is already interesting. Moreover, So Hyun has good chemistry with both guys. Though I don’t find both lead and second lead guys as my best type of guys, but I couldn’t stop watching it and I don’t regret watching it. Their lovestories are bittersweet which kept me looking forward for more. The last episode ended in cliffhanger though, typical Netflix series. If you don’t like uncertainty and want to watch this drama, I suggest you to wait until season 2 is released (yes, they announced there will be a season 2).

k-drama recommendation: 2/?

[lizzibennet]

Honestly, I *DO* like episodes 7, 8, and 9. BUT I would have LOVED if they did everything they did AS PLANNED, and then added the alternatives film (the versions we got) as a bonus. Honestly I hate ROS because Rey is related to HIM. Lbh, NOBODY would have sex with p*alpatine

the problem with episodes 7-9 is that each is a standalone film. that is not a problem in itself since every other star wars trilogy movies could technically be watched as a standalone and with a little context you’d be fine, since they tell an overarching story with three more or less independent characters. episodes 7-9 do not tell an overarching story, they are each chapters to a different telling of rey’s story. ep 7 tells the story of rey nobody, who is both the narrative foil and the in-world counterpart of one of the strongest force users alive, and that’s honestly already a really good premise, buuuuut if we’re going to have a trilogy then that main conflict should be resolved either in the second movie or at the very least in the first half or so of the third because things! need! to! happen! for! a reason! except that they don’t because at the climax of the second film kylo tells rey she’s a nobody, and apparently that changes nothing within her resolve which..... fine, let’s push it and say she’s going to deal with that in the third movie, whatever, but we get to it and actually she’s palpatine’s granddaughter so actually she’s all the jedi which. UGH. the point I’m trying to make is that she is a completely linear character being thrown in three different takes of her story, and I hate to say this because I LOVE her, but after the second movie I totally got it when people said she was a mary sue because her faith in the force and the jedi and her kindness and blahblah NEVER really waivers (except when she gets angry at luke which. saves everyone! how fuckin convenient!) and you could come out and say “lori, if we think like that luke skywalker is also a mary sue”, which, again, don’t get me wrong because he is literally my son but he IS. and in the 80’s that is FINE cause it’s the story we needed - a story about this starry (heh) eyed guy whose unwaivering faith in people and The Magic Around Him™️ may seem a little misguided at first but ends up saving everyone, but that was 40 years ago. and maybe it was silly of me to expect a nuanced take on The Human Specificity Of Empathy from a star wars movie but you know what, I don’t think it was since gareth edwards paved the way with rogue one that is the epitome of analysis of what it really means to be good or bad and I’m not going to rant about how rogue one is the best star wars movie today BUT it set the tone for a less us-vs-them view of the world which was VERY exciting and in line with what I think the 2010-20’s really wants from its heroes in general. so if we want to follow the narrative beats of the first trilogy or at least the first movie (no way of knowing where jj abrams would’ve gone in ep 8) I think that’s fine so as long as you make it your own, and imo jj abrams was, and then rian johnson was like nope lol, and jj abrams tried to fix the narrative 180 rian johnson tried to do, and like. episode 8 is a very fun movie to watch as a star wars fan but narratively it does not make any fuckin sense. I thought so then and now with ep 9 out I think so even more. rian johnson is a very creative guy, he had some REALLY interesting ideas, but WHY give him the creative liberty to do so in the MIDDLEEEEE of the trilogy??? WHY!?!?!? give him a star wars story film! he would KILL it! or you know wait a couple years so the director of the first movie who actually knows what the fuck he’s doing can direct the second, but noooooo the damned fucking mouse wants to wipe his ass with $100 bills so we cannot possibly wait. cohesive storytelling? we don’t give a shit about that in the house of le mouse.

that all to say, there is nothing Fundamentally wrong narratively with either of the three movies. they’re fun to watch. even ep 8, possibly my least fav of the bunch, was a fun experience in cinemas. it’s star wars and disney - they know how to make a blockbuster. the thing is that as a trilogy they simply do not make any sense. if you analyze each movie individually all three seem to have different core themes: ep 7’s is “nobodies are people too actually”, 8 is “maybe space fascists aren’t so bad, actually (also luke is here hey luke)”, and 9 is “I take that back, nobodies aren’t a people actually”. it’s satisfying to watch as a casual spectator who goes to the movies, seems some space gays with one braincell between the three of them and is like coolio and then goes home, but it’s not satisfying to watch as someone even the littlest bit invested in the story because there is no cohesive roundup of everything. the original trilogy was like is luke an idiot for being nice? is vader actually redeemable? is han deserving of trust despite being a space nerf herder? and sometimes u were like what’s happenin!!!! but in the end all your questions are answered quite satisfactorily. luke was right, han is sexy, vader was redeemable. in the prequels: how does anakin skywalker become darth vader? how do he and obi juan become the enemies we see in the death star? what happens to padme? and while the sequels are a beautiful mess that I love they do answer the questions they put out when episode 1 begins, so you know, imagine liking the sequels and hating the prequels when the PREQUELS make more sense, the PREQUELSSSS. anywhomst, point is: the sequels are like here is finn. finn is the first stormtrooper we see the face of! he defects! also the first stormtrooper we se defect. the other defector we know is bodhi from r1, who is very sympathetic despite being imperial, and clearly we’re supposed to feel empathy for finn. finn survives! finn finds rey! go finn I love u! and then. WHAT happens to finn? what furthers his character development into a full fledged person when he starts out with not even a name? where’s his anger? where’s his OBVIOUS narrative direction that should be “ex stormtrooper who shows imperials that fascism is bad actually”? nope, goes almost unmentioned from then on. and again, I love finn, he is literally baby, but he also froze after ep 7 because rian johnson decided to fuck shit up and also because disney is racist. poe? the do-good soldier who is supposed to be the Believer™️? actually he is the only one who was any semblance of a coherent role in ep 8... which is promptly retconned when jj abrams makes him a fucking spice runner in ep 9 lol. who is rey? and they’re like she’s a nobody and that’s why she’s spesh, wait no she is a nobody but she’s spesh because space fascist has the hots for her, oh, no, wait, she’s spesh because PALPATINE. what was the theme of this trilogy? what was the thesis? what questions did they set out to answer and did they answer them at all, never mind well? and it’s unclear, obviously, because three movies with three clearly different views behind them won’t magically make narrative sense just because you are trying to piece them together. they’re not pieces at all, they are three independent takes on the stars and the wars. enjoyable as little snacky treats, not as a three meal course. (also I’m not even going to TOUCH on how what was already a narrative mess was made worse by disney’s NONSTOP fanservice. sw sequels and game of thrones last season are the cautionary tales of why fanservice sucks and while a good, intelligent if cliche or predictable story is always better than a Shocking™️ one that doesn’t make any sense. but if I start on that I will LITERALLY not shut up SO AHEM CONTINUE @LIZZIBENNET)

ALL that to say: I agree w/ u and I LOVE your idea of each movie being an alternative version of the story. honestly, that would make more sense than what we have right now off the bat lol. can you imagine ep 7 being the rose colored version of the story via the heroes’ lenses, and then ep 8 being the “actually space fascism is good if ur kylo ren” version of the story, and then, ep 9 is what actually happened... told by rey nobody, who dances the line between the good and bad until there’s not a line anymore. CHEF’S FUCKIN KISS obviously much more risqué than disney would ever go for, but genius! much better than trying to make us care about these conflicts that they make up in the first 15 mins of each movie. ur mad because episode 7 follows the beats of 4? here’s three movies on why you were wrong when you judged it all true and therefore Bad. HUHU I love that

also the galaxy is a vast place... I am sure there are emperor fuckers out there

[amphtaminedreams]

The Eras of Lana Del Rey: Lookbook no.9

Hi to anyone reading,

Hope you’re okay! AND that you didn’t end up here because you searched the Lana Del Rey tag so you could see people ranting about her-you’re about to be very disappointed. Sorry. This is not about to be some Question for the Culture discourse because the world is bleak enough right now and the last thing we all need is to be reminded of that saga. 

Being a Lana Del Rey fan is easy, they said. She’s not a controversial artist, they said. And yet 2020 had to do what it does best and fuck everything up. 

Whether people like her or not, it’s made me so angry reading all the abuse she’s been getting about her appearance for the last couple of weeks, because I really thought that if we could agree on anything it was that attacking individuals for the way they look because you dislike something they’ve done (with the exception of shit like racist tattoos and blackfishing) is, you know, awful and judgemental as fuck? Like you do realise when you treat the word fat as a pejorative that the fat people you don’t have a problem with understood that you meant it as an insult too? I think what all those people tweeting about Lana’s weight, and that includes some of her fans, are forgetting is that she was in her early 20s when she was thrust into the limelight. As much as there’s this conspiracy that her dad bought her a career in the music industry, she’d made the decision to go it alone and had lived in a trailer park as a struggling musician for years. On top of that, we have the unreleased tracks with lyrics seemingly referencing an eating disorder in her younger years. OF COURSE her body is going to look different. Why is it that we treat weight gain as an inherently bad thing without any insight into the other factors that constitute a person’s “health”? It’s fucking insane that so many feel they have the right to comment on other’s bodies in the first place and it breaks my heart that she might be reading these comments. This wasn’t intended to necessarily be a rant about how much I love this woman but all the shit I’ve read about her on the internet these past few months have pushed me to it. You'll respect your queen of alternative music or I shall stan twice as hard on your behalf. You can thank me later when you come to your senses xoxo

I’d love to say it was intentional that I finally finished this post the week Violet Bent Backwards Over the Grass was released but that would imply I have my shit way more together than I actually do. If I’m being completely honest, I’ve only heard L.A Who am I to Love You so far 1). because I want to wait for the hard copy for the rest and that doesn’t turn up til September and 2). because I do not have my shit together, lol. That being said, there is no doubt in my mind that I am going to love it-one thing I have always loved about Lana’s lyrics is how well they paint a picture and this is something that poetry only more freely allows for the exploration of. That ability to create such a strong narrative voice and atmosphere is a talent that extends to her visuals and the production of her records too, and is something I really missed when it comes to the Norman Fucking Rockwell era. I’m just going to say it: a strong aesthetic is to NFR as memorable songs are to Lust for Life. Lacking. Am I allowed to say that as a fan? The collaborations don’t do it for me, okay, and as as NFR is concerned, aside from The Greatest/Fuck It I Love You video which went down the whole neon surfer girl route, it’s hard to identify a cohesive theme. It’s understandable that at this point, she would want to just focus purely on the music, and it goes without saying that NFR will stand the test of time in that regard but I don’t think we can deny that when people think of Lana in the future, it’s not gonna be a green windbreaker that comes into their heads.

^Illustration credit to Filip Kozak (https://filipkozaksart.tumblr.com/?fbclid=IwAR3vwLX2pNxoFNhTPD1ky14LllPqlLtL1GxGlD79xuHxdtzcHLw-6aNBZWo)

And here’s where this Filip Kozak illustration comes into it; after years of it sitting in my camera roll for years, it finally has a use. There’s really nothing better to illustrate how mundane life has become this year than the disproportionate level of excitement my photo-hoarding-self experienced realising it would fit perfectly into this post and is thus eligible for deletion. Up there with being able to fit a whole box of biscuits onto the shelf at work rather than having to individually take out as many as I can and then shove them on top of the existing box of biscuits one by one. Truly riveting content on this Tumblr page. Back to the point-by using this as my stimulus for the post rather than the Lana Del Rey albums as outfits tag that went round on Twitter, I can conveniently exclude NFR as an outfit inspiration category, and that saves me from having to buy a charity shop windbreaker with its price bumped up 150% by some upper middle class Depop e-girl or boy who uses the word peng as a descriptor like it’s a nervous tic. To make up for leaving out NFR, I’ve tried to branch out a bit and do the outfits not just based on the music videos or album covers but also from street style and stage looks and photoshoots from around the same period too. It was hard not to be influenced by the general “vibe” and sound of the albums either when I was planning outfits, whether it’s the grand, orchestral instrumentals of Born to Die or the 70s psychedelic rock inspired riffs of Ultraviolence and hopefully that’ll show as well! Enjoy:D

Born to Die (Release Date: 27th January 2012)

It’s been 8 years, and when you ask most people what they think of when they hear the name Lana Del Rey, they’ll probably dismiss her as the one who sings about being sad and doing coke and sleeping with older men. That’s the Born to Die impact. Say what you want but it’s one of only a handful of albums released by a female artist to have spent more than 300 weeks on the Billboard 200 chart and it really established the mythos of “Lana Del Rey” because before all this, before all the think pieces from other women claiming she’d set feminism back hundreds of years with her music, before she ousted grayscale Effy Stonem as the queen of angsty teen Tumblr (which as you can probably guess was a subsection of the internet I was very much engulfed by, lmao), she was just Lizzie Grant, a relatively normal aspiring singer songwriter in her early twenties. But as Lana Del Rey, she was someone else-some beautiful, mystical being that personified the sentiment of being born in the wrong era. Whilst every other singer’s record labels seemed to be trying desperately to thrust them into the future and keep them on top of all the musical and stylistic trends, it was refreshing to hear someone whose music and visuals captured all the most glamorous elements of the past. Part Priscilla Presley/Jackie O reincarnation (the National Anthem video really illustrated how Lana is just as much a storyteller as she is a musician), part high level mobster’s wayward wife à la Michelle Pfeiffer in Scarface, she was the good girl by day and the bad girl by night, and I think that’s a duality we can all relate to or would like to think we’re interesting enough to relate to deep down.

Her style from around this period was EVERYTHING. She had those grungy Tumblr girl elements, the camo jacket and the oversized pieces and the leather jackets, but she also heavily drew on the styles and silhouettes of the 50s and 60s with the beehives and the new look Dior inspired cinched waist dresses. Even now in 2020, I think this period is what most people would think if they were asked to describe Lana’s style. I made sure I got the grungy pieces in there with the chunky boots and the vinyl and the oversized leather but the foundation of her looks back then were usually these daintier throwback pieces like the white silk dress and the corset and the mint fur trimmed coat (House of Sunny’s Penny Pistachio coat).

Favourite lyrics from the album? “Now my life is sweet like cinnamon, like a fucking dream I'm living in” from Radio. Nobody asked but I’m gonna give it to you anyway.

Born to Die: The Paradise Edition (Release Date: 9th November 2012)

Lana’s Paradise EP contains probably my absolute favourite song of her’s, Ride, and with that, the beautiful opening monologue that will stay in my mind forever. This era was of course ushered in by Tropico, the short film that included the premiere of the songs Bel Air, Body Electric and Gods and Monsters, which established the ethereal tone of this period-it’s in the name, after all. Both the album and the videos were other-worldly and leaned heavily on religious symbolism which I’m sure pissed off many a middle-aged bible basher at the time. Most prominent in her lyrics were reflections on the freedom of the open road which corresponded with visuals of biker gangs and desert dwellers and modern interpretations of the Wild West, as was an attempt to capture the nature of the so-called “American spirit” which as Lana portrayed it shared more qualities with a kind of celestial, transient being than any kind of solid concept or identity. She played an emotionally detached stripper and a haunted saloon-style-bar singer (almost looking like a runaway bride) and Eve the “first woman” all in the same album and honestly, if that’s not iconic, I don’t know what is. We saw SO many incredible red carpet looks in this period too which built upon this idea of her as the fallen angel tempted by original sin that Tropico established; I feel like this era was all about laying bare the soul of the character she played, this broken, delicate but ultimately liberated being that was so dangerous to the idea of the strong, stable modern feminist ideal. She went about it in COMPLETELY the wrong way in a post that betrayed the ignorance of the privilege she has as a white female performer, but I think this is what she was getting at in it and Ultraviolence only went on to bolster her critics.

In response to the criticism she still receives about the choice to wear a Native American war bonnet in her Ride music video, I’d like to say that it really seems like she’s learnt from that-actions speak louder than words and so though it’s not my place to say whether this makes up for that error, the work she’s done with Native American reparations-focussed foundations since and the money she’s donated to the cause says a lot about her intentions. Again, I want to stress that it’s not my place to say! But it’s a detail that is often overlooked so I thought I’d mention it here. 

“I was a singer, not a very popular one. I once had dreams of becoming a beautiful poet. But upon an unfortunate series of events saw those dreams dashed and divided like a million stars in the night sky, that I wished on over and over again, sparkling and broken. But I didn’t really mind because I knew that it takes getting everything you ever wanted and then losing it to know what true freedom is.”

Ultraviolence (Release Date: 13th June 2014)

AH, Ultraviolence. My favourite of Lana’s albums and imo, a masterpiece. ONE skip. ONE. Sorry Guns and Roses. I got stoned in my back garden and listened to this (for research purposes ofc, heh) and ended up deciding that this is what I want to listen to when I die (also whilst stoned). It sounds dramatic but listening to this album in that state of mind is such a heavenly experience that I’d be too zen to notice myself slipping away into nothingness on the basis that if I didn’t as long as I could stay in that bubble of awe, nothingness forever wouldn’t be so scary after all. I know, I know, that sentence has big Jaden Smith’s old tweets energy. But if an album is what helps me get over an existential crisis, I beg you allow me the nonsensical ramblings about how I felt like I was ascending into the stars.

Though in terms of the lyrical content the public perception is probably correct, I think the reputation Ultraviolence has as Lana’s darkest, most gothic album (which is something I’ve in incorporated into the outfits I put together) is mistaken; instrumentally and visually it drew more on 70s psychedelic rock and the bohemian counter culture of the period than anything, and her stage looks are a clear reflection of that, and also the outfits I was most excited to channel. It seems counter-intuitive to the moody atmosphere I associate the tracklist with but it’s my go-to summer album; it’s raw (probably her most stripped back work along with NFR, lots of the songs are barely edited) and it’s gloomy but let’s be real, hot as fuck-don’t bother making a sex playlist, just put Ultraviolence on shuffle, and you’re good to go. This was the album where Lana debuted some of her most criticised lyrics and where the notion that she glamourises abuse comes from, one of the points she also seemed to be getting at in the Instagram post, but imo it’s fair to say that she sang truthfully about the initial allure of a dangerous relationship and the nature of the mindset that facilitates staying with somebody poisonous where you do feel like you’re nothing without them. Turning horrific experiences into romantic tragedies is how Lana has always made her music and yeah, out of context there are some fucked up lyrics on the album, but policing how a woman expresses her trauma and complaining that she glorifies weakness because she wrote honestly about the reality of a complicated partnership is hardly any more “feminist” than the lyrics themselves. I can only guess that the reason Lana felt the need to bring up this criticism in 2020 is because these darker themes are going to be revisited in her upcoming album and that in spite of the issues with the way she expressed herself, this time critics will be more accepting of how she chooses to address these themes. 

On a lighter note “yeah my boyfriend's pretty cool, but he's not as cool as me” will always be a great line. Simple but effective. If my boyfriend ever is cooler than me it’ll be doing Lana a disservice.

Honeymoon (Release Date: 18th September 2015)

Considering that a lot of other Lana fans are of the opinion that this is her best album, I find it weird that I really don’t remember all that much about this period, other than High by the Beach being released and then hearing Salvatore and Freak for the first time. I guess because she didn’t do a Honeymoon specific tour and didn’t make that many public appearances in this period? It was definitely harder for me to find visual reference points beyond the HbtB music video and the cover art, so I mostly drew on the general vibe of the album, a cinematic accompaniment to a summer in Italy or the South of France, filled with exotic instrumentals and the sense of impending romantic doom that Lana does so well. I suppose if I associate the visuals of this era with anything it’s idyllic florals and warm tones, bygone country club pool days, a rich American’s vacation in Southern Europe, long walks on the beach (and as our Lord and Saviour Jujubee once said, big dicks and fried chicken). Apparently inspired by Lana’s relationship with Francesco Carrozini, it’s a hazy story of some ultra-feminine, submissive archetype becoming unhealthily enchanted by a mysterious “foreign man” who’s ultimately not all that good for her, which as the story goes turned out to be quite prophetic. Going against the grain, it’s my least favourite of her albums after Lust for Life, but in spite of that, I will always remember how obsessed I was with the sax riffs (I think? I don’t know my instruments all that well so forgive me, lol) on Freak and I definitely understand why it’s a firm favourite for so many.

“You could be a bad motherfucker, but that don’t make you a man.” was truly a cultural reset of a line.

-on an unrelated note, OMG, I never realised how I have my mouth open in literally every fucking photo I take, somebody tell me how to pose, please and thank you-

Lust for Life (Release Date: 21 July 2017)

Lust for Life is a controversial one. On the one hand, I appreciate that this album was the victory cry of a happier, more independent, politically-aware Lana in spite of it apparently being a far more optimistic sounding album than the one she wanted to release, but on the other there were way too many collaborations for me and this meant that the album lacked a sense of cohesion and the characteristic narrative thread that usually runs throughout her tracklist. Aside from Love, Cherry, Get Free and Tomorrow Never Came, most of the songs on the album aren’t hugely memorable and it’s a crying shame that a collaboration with STEVIE FUCKING NICKS of all people left so much to be desired. Coming from two witchy icons, I expected something absolutely magical so maybe I was setting myself up for failure, but come on. We could’ve had a real anthem there.

Aesthetically speaking however, this is one of my favourite eras for Lana, which is unsurprising when you consider the tracklist contains references to both Woodstock and Coachella. I’m not gonna lie, I think seeing Coachella fashion in my early teens was my style awakening-I remember seeing Vanessa Hudgens’ outfits and being like, wow, I want to be her (oh, what a fall from grace)-so the late 60s/early 70s flower power groupie style Lana adopted in this period really spoke to me. It was all long hair and dreamy pastels, and this era included some of the most head-to-toe coordinated looks we’ve ever seen from her. Of course I couldn’t completely abandon the grungy touches that I love, that I tend to associate with the early Lana street style days and the Paradise and Ultraviolence music videos rather than with this album, but I’m never gonna pass up an opportunity to whack out a good floral two piece and putting together Lust for Life inspired looks is the perfect excuse to do that.

So, that marks the end of this post! If you made it to the end, thank you so much for reading! I have a Yesstyle lookbook and review to edit but now that I’ve finished that, I’m trying to go down more of a style inspiration focussed  route with my lookbooks rather than just putting together outfits from clothes I’ve just bought (though I might still do one every so often to bring in a new season-let’s just ignore the fact that they’re all blending into one bc climate change for now, one catastrophe at a time please universe). I find that if you have a specific idea in mind of what you want, it’s super easy to find something similar on Depop and Ebay and that way you avoid buying new things and also take old things off a person’s hands that might otherwise end up being thrown out by a charity shop and then dumped into a landfill from there. Something I’d LOVE to do before this year is out is put together a lookbook based on the most stylish TV shows of the last decade, but that probably won’t be for a while-even so, if you have any recommendations of series to watch which could fit into this category, let me know! 

To finish, I need to go a little bit off-topic so forgive me, but I truly don’t know why this even needs to be said: WEAR A FUCKING MASK. IT IS NOT A POLITICAL ISSUE. IT IS A BASIC HYGIENIC PRACTICE THAT HELPS SPREAD THE STOP OF A HIGHLY CONTAGIOUS DISEASE! RUDIMENTAL SCIENCE! NOT A CHANCE TO PROVE HOW “EDGY” YOU ARE! SERIOUSLY, STOP MAKING A FUCKING PANDEMIC ABOUT YOURSELF! NOBODY ENJOYS WEARING THEM BUT THEY HELP PROTECT OTHERS! SO UNLESS YOU HAVE A VALID MEDICAL REASON NOT TO BE WEARING ONE, DON’T BE A SELFISH PRICK! 

Sorry to sign off on a rant-y note with something that has nothing to do with Lana, lol, but all the stupidity has been grinding me gears lately and I had to let it out on behalf of all retail workers: if we can wear a mask for 9 hours at a time, YOU can tolerate the mild discomfort of wearing one for 10 minutes. I know this doesn’t apply to the majority of people but there’s always a couple of arseholes, isn’t there!?

Stay safe,

Lauren x