#lol i forgot what the tags are

[krysmcscience]

Did somebody say Bill shouldn't be allowed to swear? I think somebody said Bill shouldn't be allowed to swear. Thanks to that, have these retooled The Good Place jokes:

The "powers that be" can refer to either the Theraprism staff, the Axolotl, or just. Ya know. Disney in general. Or all three! Whichever you think is funniest. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The "party" Bill's referring to is Weirdmageddon, of course. He was quite the ashhole to everyone back then.

Ford has probably gotten pretty good at the 'tune out your psychopathic ex with dank memes' challenge.

It must be very cathartic to be able to make Bill shut up whenever you want with just the press of a button. I'm sure Ford doesn't abuse this ability at all.

Oh, sure, 'Not now,' he says, before he immediately backs out of the newly-made hole in the Theraprism wall. 🙄

Don't worry, Bill doesn't get far.

also yeah i know this one doesn't have an attempted swear - i just wanted to use the joke because of the massive stink-eye involved in it because it makes me laugh

⬇️ More goofs beneath the brief ramble if you wanna skip it lmao⬇️

Why is Ford even there, you might ask? Well, he either decided he preferred to watch Bill suffer in person over being distantly and repeatedly harassed with the same evil desperation book for the rest of his life, or he got roped into some kind of contrived community service for 1.) all his many counts of interdimensional thievery, and 2.) his ignoring all the very clear warnings to NOT summon Bill in the first place (which I like to imagine is also illegal). Theraprism staff were just like, 'Wait, this guy matters to Bill? Ooh, we can USE that! It might be the only thing that can help him want to get better!' It is not considered that throwing Ford at Bill so soon after Weirdmageddon could instead make them both WORSE - in new and altogether special ways! :D

Anyway, I'm calling it the Community Service AU, and I am most likely not going to do anything else with it beyond appropriating these silly Good Place jokes. So, feel free to adopt the concept if y'all wanna??? Just make sure that Bill is still not allowed to swear, no matter what, full stop. It's gotta be a real linguistic corkblork of a situation for him, is all I'm sayin'.

Finally, have these bonus Good Place jokes, but with Handyman!Bill this time:

'Opposite tortures' doesn't sound so bad...at least until it's an all-powerful chaos entity known for torture saying it.

you may think i forgot mabel's cute pink cheeks but the truth is that i did in fact forget but then immediately stopped caring which makes it okay, SHHHHHHH

And, finally:

lmao this is shit

True facts, if you cram Season 1 Eleanor Shellstrop and Michael into a singular triangle shape, they turn into Bill Cipher. This is science, look it up. Or don't, and just trust the source that is me, bro.

Anyway, I should be in bed, y'all have fun with these, I guess. Tune in after like a week or so and maybe I'll have an addendum to my comic about how Bill was drawn naked for karaoke night. Because him actually being naked was not the only thing I considered as a plausible explanation. XD

Also if you see any inconsistencies or errors in any of these comics, No You Do Not :D

Also also, reblogs are rad as hell and I appreciate every single one, just don't repost, please and thanks. Every time a repost is made, an artist somewhere cries. :,)

[monkesupreme]

ref

a satisfactory answer for Selina

[what-am-i-doing-in-this-fandom]

Suddenly, bell bottoms aren't so bad

Bonus sketch, because I had to vv

"Stop checking out my assistant, Stanley."

[hugs-and-stabbies]

The self-awareness on this guy 😞 someone pls send him an "are you bi?" quiz STAT

[noornight]

Long distance besties. This definitely happened after the third movie (source: trust me bro)

Based on this

[forgettable-au]

FORGETTABLE-AU (Page 61-64)

* I-I don't think we were talking about the same thing...

[BEGINNING] [PREVIOUS] [CONTINUE]

[vault81]

I've finished my Fallout OC Character Sheet! this is my first time making something like this, but I like how it turned out!

PSD below cut!

Compressed Version!

[bewarethetooth]

HEYY I'M ACTUALLY ALIVE AND IVE TOTALLY BEEN ALIVE SO HERES MY FAVORITE THING EVER DRAWN TODAY:

Now excuse me while i sleep until 5pm because the sun IS rising and i AM so tired

[biblically-accurate-dca]

substitute

[twise]

MY SUNDAY (2017) HeeJin & HyunJin

[yangjeongin]

6 YEARS WITH STRAY KIDS — #Youtiful6YearsOfSKZ

[vaderwcn]

“Every person Obi-Wan ever truly loved---Anakin, Satine, Padmé, and Qui-Gon himself---came to a terrible end. Three of them died before his eyes; the other fell to a fate so bleak that death would've been a gift.” – Claudia Gray, Star Wars: From a Certain Point of View

[ID in alt text]

[ursiday]

Some OC concept doodles I dont think I posted on here. My Divorced Lesbian Cats

[theelvishfiddler]

A Hellboy and TMNT crossover would be so cool

I've been getting into inking traditionally again, so I've been studying the techniques of pros. This is an ink on paper study of Mike Mignola's style/inks and an attempt to mimic the style w/ Raph. Colours added digitally, also mimicking Hellboy's colourist, Dave Stewart.

[petorahs]

Yuri Leclerc as a concept is sooo funny because here is the most beautiful woman you've ever seen, sike! He's a man actually. and you're like okay, okay, cool. he's still the most beautiful person ever, looks introverted yet elegant, so you'd expect him to have a demure-ish personality with delicate hobbies. speaks in noble tongue, voice as soft as the lilac in his hair maybe. probably into fashion as well.

and then he opens his mouth.

DEEP voice, crass, and a menace. were it not for the game's rating and setting, this guy would be cursing worse than a sailor. ANDDD the funniest thing is that he's 😂 an underground mafia boss. his first conversation with the player character is that he'd slit their throat for crossing his men. he's confident, sarcastic and smug, absolutely at odds with his soft appearance. NONE of his hobbies aside from the makeup are ""girly"" at all.

but that's not all! get this. he's... a momma's boy. intimidating fucker that he is, everything he does, the maiming the killing the swindeling, it's all to send money back to her. AND following that, he's something of a Robin Hood minus the heroic fanfare. as in, he's for the common folk. from orphans to the disabled, his care protects them all. beneath the scary job and personality, his compassion runs deep.

he can't stand not knowing things. he sings so prettily but scowls when he's made to do it in public. people call him a Savage Mockingbird and he does do nothing but mock and toy with his prey sometimes. he hates attention. A+ honors student but dropped out for doing crime. he's gotten into shit situations where people took advantage of him for his pretty looks.

he likes stargazing. he's named after a star. his real name at least. the one only his mom calls him.

isn't the dichotomy just the funniest. like don't all these aspects combined together make for the most delightfully jarring character ever. but it makes sense. the totality of his life circumstances made the person that he is now and it just... works.

"Yuri is the best he's my favorite!" -Yuri himself (actual line in game btw)

[lishenism]

꒰   jing yuan x afab reader / wc: 1.4k   ꒱   :   warnings include talks of marriage but uhhh i think that’s about it. this is mostly just banter between jing yuan and reader. or flirting. this is just literally how they flirt. also not proofread and never will be <3 and maybe ooc jing yuan but who’s to say. do we really know what he’s like when he’s in love *thinking emoji*

note: uhhh i know i said i wouldn’t write anything on this blog but the jing yuan brain rot has taken over me i fear... psd by ninetitans on deviantart :3c

“I hear that there have been talks concerning your marital status.”

You do not lift your face up from the chessboard, instead keeping your gaze solely on the pieces before you with your brows knitted together in deep concentration. There was no room for making mistakes. You must be meticulous and calculated with your decisions. With your pride weighing heavy above your head, you could not afford to admit defeat to him once more.

You’ve already lost four times. A fifth would be a bruise to your ego.

“I was not aware that the General liked to engage himself in rumours during his spare time.”

“Well,” he starts with a hum, raising his hand to pet the bird that landed on his shoulder with a gentle finger. “Only if said rumours are a matter of interest to me.”

Your attention is not swayed anywhere else but at the board, your mind silently rummaging for all the possible outcomes to turn this game around in your favour. You haven’t made a single move for seven minutes, choosing to exercise your patience before decidedly moving your piece. Jing Yuan does not mind. It only gives him all the more time to be with you.

(Which, of course, was his intention from the very beginning. Expertly orchestrating the scene from behind the lines to keep you all to himself, but he wisely chooses to withhold this bit of information from you. In any case, you will figure it out eventually as you always do, the clever little finch that you are.)

“Which includes affairs concerning my betrothal, I assume.”

“Naturally.”

And finally — finally — your eyes move up to find for his own. He offers you a gentle smile, his lips etched upwards in a way that has all the men and women alike sighing dreamily. If they weren’t too busy being intimidated by him, then they occupied themselves by admiring him from afar.

“Go on, then,” He presses. “Won’t you relieve an old man of his curiosity?”

You send him a sceptical look. If you didn’t know him any better, you would have assumed that his questioning stemmed from genuine interest. Which might have fooled you all those centuries ago, but you’ve come to understand him. You’ve become quite adept at reading the many faces of Jing Yuan, subtle as they are. And you’re not quite sure which irks you more: the fact that you know him well, or the fact that you feel proud of it. Few people can discern the thoughts in his mind, and even fewer who manage to get it right. But not you; never you.

He’s looking at you with a glint in his golden eyes that wordlessly requests for you to indulge him, despite already knowing the answer. He simply wants to hear the words from you without having to voice it himself because Aeon forbid he ask like any other normal human being would. That’d be no fun.

You sigh in defeat, relenting. Only to save yourself from the headache, otherwise he would continuously pester you until he got an answer. He can be persistent when he wants to be. You wish he’d been more persistent in finishing his papers instead, which still remain unattended on his large wooden desk.

“There have been discussions in passing,” you say. “And constant reminders that marriage should be a priority for me, but I’ve yet to find someone who is competent enough to even be considered. I’m known to be very demanding, you see.”

“I would not expect anything less,” The small finch flies off from his shoulder with a delightful chirp, now putting his hand down on his knees. You are decisive, that he is certain of. Once you’ve made up your mind, it is final — which is an admirable trait to have, of course, though he’s not quite fully convinced if you know what you truly want.

“It is a poor shame that you have not found someone that has met your required expectations,” He continues, feigning sympathy at the countless people you’ve rejected as if he had cared to begin with. As if he didn’t turn down the numerous proposals that he received from affluent families either. You hide a scoff from under your breath. “Though I imagine it would be quite the feat if someone did catch your eye.”

He urges for you to continue; to spill yourself in front of him and be caught vulnerable under his watchful eye. You aren’t in the least bit surprised — it has been a game between the two of you, the untamed cat and the flitting bird. He lures you in, but you keep yourself close and fly away before he snares you with his sharp teeth.

Very well. You’ll entertain him just this once.

“I suppose there is someone,” you say. And to the untrained eye, one might not have noticed the slight change of Jing Yuan’s posture — but you are not like others. You know him, and almost immediately, you caught the slight movement of his shoulders that suggested that you’ve caught his full attention.

“Oh?” More probing. He won’t stop until he gets something from you. “Do tell.”

“Ah, but you must know, General, that he is hardly ideal,” You smooth out your silken robes, placing both hands nearly on your lap as he watches you from the other side of the table.

“He is an exception then,” Jing Yuan muses. “To your long list of demands, that is.”

“That is not to say that this man does not have his faults,” You counter back, and you swore you saw the slightest twitch of his smile lifting up. “He is far too leisurely for my own liking, for one. He neglects certain duties that he ought to be doing.”

“Troublesome, to be sure.”

“Most certainly,” you sighed. “He speaks in riddles which only drives me mad. He’s hardly ever upfront about what goes on in his mind, and—”

One of his eyebrows raise, his body leaning slightly forward, “And?”

“—And he just lost a game of chess.”

He remains silent for a moment that lasts only by a split second — blinking once, twice, and then thrice before lowering his head down to inspect the board before him. He skims the pieces laid out in front of him with half amusement and half confusion, and it takes him quite some time to register that he did, in fact, lose. 

Your smile is bright and proud, with your satisfaction and pride seeping off of you. It is awfully contagious and he can’t help but return a smile of his own, eyes closed in silent acknowledgement at your recent win. He offers you a word of congratulation, which you soak in with delight and bliss because if there is one thing that brightens up your day, it is his seal of approval. It isn’t everyday that the great general of Luofu loses, after all.

You’ll have to commemorate this day into your memory. He’ll never hear the end of it.

“I think it’s best that I get going now,” You lift yourself up on your two feet, smoothing out the wrinkles that formed on your clothing. “Politicians to entertain, dinners to host… You understand how busy it can get.”

“You’ve given me a most invigorating game,” He stands up not long after you, offering his arm to steady yourself as you quickly fix your appearance before excusing yourself to a long day of festivities. “I must thank you for indulging me.”

“It wouldn’t sit right with me if I left an old man such as yourself all by his lonesome,” You reason, but he knows you just as well as you know him. He can easily spot a lie on your lips when he hears one.

You make your way towards the door, with him following beside you to escort you out. Back then, you would have insisted that it was unnecessary — you were perfectly capable of seeing yourself out on your own, to which he replied with: ‘Of course. But I’d like to stay close to you before I send you on your way, if you’ll allow me.’ You stopped insisting him after that. 

Your hand is only a few centimetres away from reaching the door knob before putting yourself into a brusque halt, body twisting to look at him. “Oh, and General?”

“Yes?”

Something warm is placed on the centre of his palm, his bright eyes gazing down to inspect it before his eyes settle on the familiar material laid on his hand. A chess piece. His chess piece, to be exact. But you spare him no time for a response — you flash him a teasing smile, just as bright as the one you spared him on your win — and leave the room without saying another word, the door closing behind you with a click.

Jing Yuan chuckles, tucking the chess piece in his robes.

Clever little finch, indeed.