#lokius angst

[andthekitchensinkao3]

WiP WednTuesday 22 october 2024

Don't really feel like sharing anything, but since it's @elodiah and since it's for @lokimobius kiss ask prompt (fake relationship / mutual pining / dared to kiss) from way back months ago. Tagging @thosegayoldmen @in-my-loki-feels @devilbearingtrouble @loki-is-my-kink-awakening @kcscribbler + anyone who sees this. Tag me so I see your posts? Lemme know if you like mine?

---

New day, new case. B-15 and he were briefing the team on their brand, spanking newest lead on a He Who Remains Variant, and all Mobius could think was how much he needed a vacation. Even Judge Gamble said he needed one, and that his week spent on the ol’ Sacred Timeline stalking himself and dreaming of a life he could never have, well, that didn’t count.

He wondered how X-5 had done it. Assumed his old identity. Manslaughter, most likely. Bradley had never hesitated to use a Timestick on anyone, to Mobius’ knowledge.

“Mobius?”

He looked up from his manila folder to see B-15’s expectant look. Caught in the act, daydreaming. Again. He cleared his throat and nodded his head at the whiteboard behind him. “The mayor of New York City is hosting her annual Holiday fundraiser, and we have it on good authority a certain Victor Timely will be keynote speaker on the night.”

“We’re talking a light recon mission this time,” said B-15. “No interference until we know the threat level of this Variant.”

Mobius arched his eyebrows. “If he’s anything like the Victor Timely of the 19th century, he’s a p--” pussycat. No. “A pretty harmless guy. We don’t want to startle him if he’s not a threat, and we’re not gonna trigger anything if he is a danger to the multiverse.”

Loki was the first one to raise his hand, eager as a schoolkid with all the answers. Mobius turned to him, charmed despite his best efforts to remain detached. At a safe distance. Metaphorical safety suit on, a pane of glass between them at all times. “Yes, Loki?”

“You said a fundraiser. Is it a black tie event?”

B-15’s smile was on par with Loki’s. “Yes. And the Mayor’s keen on showing her rainbow colors, with the upcoming election.”

Mobius sighed. “Feels like every year’s election year…”

“So,” B-15 went on, giving him a pointed look. “Mayor Braxton is playing the diversity card every way she can. She’ll want members of the queer community present. Preferably prominent members. Power couples.”

“Power couples?” Mobius frowned, checking his notes. “Where’d you--”

Loki’s hand shot up again. “Me and Mobius will do it!”

They’ll-- Mobius blinked. His mouth opened but no words came out. Except the most important one. “Loki!”

But before he could dissuade Loki of that load of nonsense, B-15 was on board. On it like a bonnet. Gung-ho and raring to go.

“That’s a great idea, actually.” She grinned, looking between Mobius and Loki, sizing them up.

“B… Don’t.”

“He’s right, though.” She had the audacity to nudge him. “You’re already acting like an old married couple! Just be yourselves.”

Loki snapped his fingers. Joyful. And triumphant. “Exactly!”

The bastard.

[idonotlikethatsam-i-am]

rock with me, but. mobius alone for awhile. starting out with talking to the stars and sky on a late not on a park bench with "hey loki.... i don't know if you'll hear me- probably not and I'm being silly but... just in case. just if you possibly do" and going on to tell loki about what he saw, or just about his day generally.

he doesn't need to, mind you. loki has been watching. the whole time, he's been watching. at first it started with being distracted by all the branches of time; there's so much to see. but on the first call from mobius he can FEEL it, like a string being tugged, and then its all he can focus on. yes, he keeps all the other infinite strands of time alive as well, but... his focus is always on mobius. his mobius.

sylvie comes to check on mobius eventually. gives him her/HWR's tempad. says "you're being a bit of a mope, why not take a walkabout. find yourself or something. i had a good run, but it seems like you might need it, for now. get me home first, though, yeah? and visit me, once in awhile." and he does, both get her home and visits.

between visits, he's off taking in the views of a bunch of different lokis from all around the timeline(s), seeing his many moments of glory but never intervening, never interacting. just, watching, as he always did. just up close this time.

a fair amount of days of mobius just talking to the stars - talking to loki - while following his various adventures turns into weeks, and months, and then one moment mobius just. looks up at the stars with a sigh like "....i miss you, you asshole. i hope you know that. i didn't even get to say goodbye. I really hope you hear me. I hope you have the whole damn time."

wonder how long til that emptiness and sadness and longing turns to bitterness at loki doing all of that without a word edgewise. like. loki didnt explain, he just gave one at look at sylvie and mobius and then walked off into fucking radiation city. loki didnt even say he stood up for mobius. he just. walked. said he was doing it for them - for sylvie, for mobius, but he didnt explain any more. and kept fucking walking. mobius looked fucking terrified watching him. fists clenched knuckle white when he realised loki was going where he couldn't, with no way to follow, and no goodbye given. which... terror turns to anger, anger turns to sad - which we see bc of him leaving the fucking tva - sad turns to hopelessness, hopelessness turns to observation, and then, from there, bitterness at being left behind once again by a loki gone off to who the fuck knows where.

which. that rattles loki. loki, thinking he should stay away at first, to try to let mobius find his place on the timeline. like. hes not sure what mobius's pattern is at first, he's so distracted by everything else but eventually its his mobius he tunes into time and time again, and eventually all others fade to the background when he finally realises what mobius's pattern is. and, its him. its loki, its the best hits, and thats breaks him in a way he hadn't expected. its one of mobius's monologues on a bench late at night, tear stained and drunk and miserable that pulls him from the throne, though.

"you fucking LEFT. you left, and you walked out to the goddamn loom - something we all thought would rip us to shreds without the damn suit, something we both argued over doing - and then you vanished. you fucking left me, loki, again, and what the hell was i supposed to think besides that you found somewhere better and more powerful to be." and he's ACHING, its a deep, bone deep agony of bitterness that has festered through pained, hot tears.

[daisybell17]

“I will forever live under the assumption that somehow, someway, we will undeniably cross paths…no matter where, no matter when what form or what lifetime…I will always find you…in every universe”

“S-Sir I sell Jet Ski’s…”

sighs

“See you…so-…” Loki holds back, tears prickling in his eyes “See you.”

[averageambivert]

I'm like, definitely not crying for sure. These are just 2 fictional people.

Mobius always asks his occasional partners to turn off the light but it’s just to hide his tears

insp! 👇

[mobius-m-mobius]

#the Nowhere Man who waits and the God of Stories who watches

[fla-t-line]

(previously on roxxcart divorce...)

I am so hyped to finally post this for @lokiusbang, I've had this idea for so long and now it has an incredible fic!!!

Read the amazing S1 AU of Enchanted!Loki by the epic @an-obsessed-cactus !!

Lies sobbing on the floor ༼⁠;⁠´⁠༎ຶ⁠ ⁠۝ ⁠༎ຶ⁠༽

[loopsisloops]

I hurts even MORE TODAY WHY

That last fucking line is like a punch in the GUT 😭

Temporal Meltdown CXXXIV

A prequel to Relinquish Your Burden

Summary: It all becomes too much for Loki during his 134th attempt at fixing the Loom. Mobius takes notice.

Pairing: Loki x Mobius

Warnings: angst, description of a panic attack, bittersweet fluff, bittersweet ending

Word Count: 1.6k

Temporal Meltdown CXXXIV - tallseaweed - Loki (TV 2021) [Archive of Our Own]

gif by @zehiiro

"TVA Code 1127. All personnel report to your nearest time door evacuation point."

"Total Loom failure imminent."

Loki could hear the announcements echoing down the R&A corridor. It was making it nearly impossible to focus on what O.B. was saying. The incessant reminder of the impossibly high stakes was making him feel like he was suffocating inside the Gizmo he'd used on X-5.

Seemingly unaware of Loki's rising distress, O.B. continued to prattle on emphatically. "So you see, the proton-to-electron mass ratio…" What were they even talking about? Loki stole a quick glance at the mobile chalkboard. Casey's tidy scrawl had spelled the words 'Dimensionless Physical Constants' across the top. His jaw tightened. This was the fifth time he'd asked O.B. to teach him this particular lesson, and he still couldn't seem to fully grasp it. He was about ready to rip his own hair out from frustration.

Loki glanced toward the gaudy orange chairs along the wall, his eyes immediately locking onto familiar pale blue ones. Mobius sat there watching him, one hand wrapped around a cup of hot cocoa. The sugary drink was much to the delight and distraction of Victor Timely, who had a seemingly endless line of questioning about it. Mobius didn’t seem to even notice.

He was often like this, after reading the letter.

After his 15th attempt at fixing the Loom, Loki had decided to shift his approach. Repeating the same 6 hours and continually explaining his actions to everyone had become extremely tedious and a waste of his time. To fill in their knowledge gaps, he'd begun carrying a letter with him. At the top was a tally of how many times he had gone back. Underneath was an explanation of his time slipping, the Loom's imminent failure, and his individual instructions for each of them.

This routine worked quite well for most of them. All except Mobius.

The agent always seemed more concerned about Loki's well-being than the Temporal Meltdown. He'd ask when Loki last slept, when the last time he'd eaten was, and if he needed a minute to 'take a breather.' Keeping himself composed under Mobius's barrage of questions was a feat in itself. Each time Mobius showed concern over him, he felt one step closer to collapsing into sobs. He couldn't afford to take care of himself these days—outside of the occasional 4 hours of sleep to keep his mind sharp. The fate of the multiverse rested on his shoulders. So why did Mobius seem concerned about him?

"Loki? Are you still listening?" O.B.'s voice floated toward his consciousness.

Loki snapped back from his introspection, painfully aware of the continued weight of Mobius's gaze.

"Total Loom failure imminent."

It felt like the announcement was mocking him. His breathing came in shallow.

"I apologize," Loki muttered shaking his head, "I think I need to step out for a moment. I—I'll be back shortly"

He staggered toward the door and into the cramped hallway. The flashing alarms and flickering lights had all become so horribly familiar. He'd spent a little over a month reliving the same 6 hours before the Temporal Meltdown. Is this how Sylvie had felt? Reliving the same apocalypses over and over again? Suddenly, he couldn't find it in himself to blame her reluctance to be here. He raced up the black spiral staircase and into the corridors above.

"TVA Code 1127. All personnel report to your nearest time door evacuation point."

"Total Loom failure imminent."

He vaguely realized his hands were trembling. He felt lightheaded, his heart hammering so fast he couldn't breathe. He was trapped, trapped, trapped—

He collapsed against a wall, vaguely realizing that he'd somehow made it into the open-air hallway that overlooked the entirety of the TVA.

"Total Loom failure imminent."

He pulled his knees into his chest, and everything but his gasping breaths faded into the background.

~

Distantly, Loki realized someone's hand was resting on his shoulder. Mobius's familiar voice sounded as if it were coming from deep underwater.

"Deep breaths, Loki. Deep breaths."

He gasped painfully.

"Hey, hey, you're okay sweetheart. Can you look at me?"

Loki took another shuddering gasp, but managed to lift his head.

"There he is," Mobius smiled. "Let's take some deep breaths together, okay?"

Loki nodded feebly and tried to slow his breathing. Had it been anyone but Mobius, he would have chafed under the infantilizing words.

"That's it, you're doing really good," Mobius encouraged. A fresh wave of tears spilled down his cheeks. He was failing, everyone was going to die…

"Hey, hey," Mobius said gently, peeling a strand of Loki's tear-soaked hair from the side of his face. "It's gonna be okay, Loki. It's gonna be okay."

Loki practically melted into Mobius's hand on his shoulder, and Mobius seemed to take notice. He shifted to sit on the wall next to Loki and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "I'm just gonna hold you for a bit, is that alright?"

Loki nodded wordlessly, slumping into Mobius's embrace. Face buried against Mobius's neck, his breathing eventually began returning to normal. The comforting scent of Mobius's cologne surrounded him, soothing his panic. It made him feel safer than he had in centuries.

Loki pulled back slowly to look Mobius in the eye, close enough to feel the agent's warm, cocoa-scented breath fanning across his cheeks. "You astounding creature," Loki whispered reverently. "What did I ever do to deserve your kindness?"

Mobius blushed, and Loki's heart rate kicked up for entirely new reasons. Mobius pushed a stray curl behind Loki's ear and smiled earnestly. "Nothing, Loki. You've always been worthy of kindness."

Loki felt another tear slide down his face, and Mobius gently wiped it away. His breath caught. How hadn't he realized it before? Every time Mobius touched him felt electric. He clung to the agent's every word like a lifeline. This man had done the impossible, had seen every inch of who Loki was, and embraced it all without question. How had it taken him so long to realize what had been in front of him this entire time? 

Under different circumstances, Loki might have pulled Mobius close and kissed him with all the tenderness he deserved. But the thought of Mobius not remembering any of this had Loki pulling away. Mobius seemed to read something of this in Loki's eyes because suddenly he was taking Loki’s hand. He brought it gently to his lips before letting their hands fall between them. Loki's chest heaved with emotion. He forced himself to look away.

The two of them leaned back against the wall in silence, the flickering lights casting strange shadows across their faces.

"One day, I'll show you," Loki murmured, his eyes fixed on the distant flashes of red.

"Show me what?"

Loki swallowed against the lump in his throat, turning to face the man beside him. "Just how much you mean to me," he said thickly, hoping the gravity of the words shone through his eyes as they held on to Mobius's. Before he could help it, they drifted down toward his lips, but Loki didn't let himself linger.

"Loki," whispered Mobius, his eyes lined with silver. He reached out for Loki's other hand and squeezed them both tightly. "You mean everything to me."

Loki took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Fresh tears escaped their corners as his shoulders began shaking with restrained sobs.

"Mobius, I—" His voice broke. "I can't do it anymore, no matter how many times I go back, it's never enough—"

Mobius pulled him into a seated hug and began stroking his hair. "No one would blame you for stopping, Loki. I still can't believe you've been through all this 134 times."

"It's nothing, I've gotten nowhere near fixing the Loom—"

"Shhh, hey, hey. Let's just take this moment to relax, okay? I believe in you. We all do. But you won't be able to solve this unless you rest. You've gotta take care of yourself, Loki."

Loki's fingers dug into Mobius's suit jacket. They sat in silence for a few moments, finding solace in each other's arms. Letting out a shaky breath, Loki whispered, "I don't want to lose you again."

Mobius took a long, steadying breath, his grip on Loki tightening ever so slightly.

"I'll always be here for you. No matter what. I promise." His tone left no room for uncertainty.

Loki's heart constricted, and he slowly raised his head. This close, he could see every fleck of blue in Mobius's eyes. Loki gently cupped his cheek, allowing himself to relish in the sensation, committing the gentle rasp of the stubble against his palm to memory. The announcements had stopped. The Loom wouldn't hold out for much longer.

"It'll be any moment now," Loki whispered defeatedly. At Mobius's panicked gaze, his eyes softened. "Thank you, Mobius. For everything." Mobius ducked his head, a lone tear slipping past his eyelashes as he leaned forward to adjust Loki's tie.

"You're the bravest, most stubborn person I know, Loki. If anyone can fix this, it's you."

"I will," Loki vowed. "I promise." For you. For us.

A blinding flash of light erupted in the distance, barreling toward them at a blistering speed. Loki felt Mobius's grip tighten on his jacket, and he squeezed back in reassurance. The last thing Loki saw was Mobius's frightened eyes, stark against the searing white light pressing in around them.

The next moment, he was back in O.B.'s workshop.

"TVA Code 1127. All personnel report to your nearest time door evacuation point."

"Total Loom failure imminent."

He took a deep breath. Again.

-----

Notes:

Thanks so much for reading! If you want to see these two get a happy ending, I encourage you to keep reading my Relinquish Your Burden series if you haven't already 💚

Reblogs and comments are always appreciated 💞

taglist:

If you'd like to be added or removed from the taglist at any point, please leave a comment or send me a message :)

@loopsisloops @muddyorbsblr @superficialdomina @infinitystoner @unlucky-number-13

Chapter 1 | Masterlist

[lokiusly]

what if in Deadpool 3, the camera pans to Mobius' cubicle and it's now a vacant desk, completely empty.

[aritks]

Pls.. remember me..

[andthekitchensinkao3]

Okay, so. On the official soundtrack for the Loki TV series there's a track called "Lokius", and it's the most hauntingly gorgeous, hopeful yet despairing track I think I've ever heard.

Add to that the fact Loki tried to fix the Temporal Loom for literal centuries.

That's a long time to love someone. That's a long time spent desperate to save one's found family.

[ineffabletimehusbands]

Currently thinking about the contrast between when Loki and Mobius part ways in the first season and their goodbye in the finale.

In the first season, Mobius reaches out his hand for a handshake and Loki pulls him into a hug instead. He says "Thank you, my friend."

In the finale, since Mobius doesn't have the same familiarity with him at that point, even if he wants to hug him, he has to settle for the handshake this time. He says "Thank you, Mobius."

Loki knows more about Mobius than ever in the finale, he's spent centuries living and re-living their moments together, but that's not something he could possibly express in that moment.

Loki initiates the handshake though, just like he initiated the hug. He wants that familiarity, it hurts not to have it. At the same time, if he had stopped to give a goodbye to the present Mobius it would have been too familiar. Loki needed to focus on what he thinks is the right thing to do, not on what he wants, so he has to distance himself as much as possible in that moment. It's Mobius then, that keeps trying to reach out to him, to get him to slow down.

Mobius and Loki are always running circles around each other like that. That's what makes their dynamic so compelling. No matter what role they take on at the time, they always have a way of balancing each other out.

"They say opposites attract. No."

But they do. In whatever way you want to read it, either platonically or romantically, the show has gone out of its way to show that they're drawn to each other.

It's always unclear which of them is leading and which is following, that's because they both are. There's so much symbolism in the show about infinity loops. That's them.

[daisybell17]

Lokius — Taking a walk

Mobius let time pass for a second, taking in the life he had before the TVA. His mind wonders from thought to thought as the sinking feeling of loneliness fills his body, his mind, and his soul.

Turning away from the house, Mobius starts walking down the sidewalk path, observing the vast life around him.

It was so…simple? So…peaceful.

Passing each house that holds stories of people who have brought about love and pain within those walls brings an uncomfortable feeling to Mobius’s heart.

That could have been his life; it was his life at one point.

Then came Loki, and somehow he flipped a god’s world around. A god. So as he takes each step down that path, he can’t help but feel the grief that Loki was gone, that he had changed Mobius life more than he truly realised, yet he was here, walking down a suburban neighbourhood of the life he has no memory of.

Approaching the end of the path sat a tiny park. Mobius approaches the nearest bench, huffing out his breath as his body meets the cold metal. Trees hugged the small park, providing a nice balance of sun and shade. The breeze of the wind was cool, leaving Mobius with a slight shiver every time it hits him.

“But I'm in the trees, I'm in the breeze. My footsteps on the ground." Mobius closes his eyes and lets the nature around him consume this moment in time. What a nice wave of calm this world brings.

On the other side of it all sat Loki, who watched as Mobius rested in the park he led him down to. Showering him with the greenery that earth provides and sending him the breeze of his breath. He cannot intervene, but he can surely provide Mobius with a quaint little place in which they can connect, even if they cannot see each other.

“You'll see my face in every place. But you can't catch me now." Oh, how Mobius wishes Loki was here to share this moment with him. He wants Loki to be here; he hopes that maybe, just maybe, he’ll come. Was this the purpose his life was burdened for? To guide and fall for a god, only for his sacrifice to leave him alone? Yes, it brings about good, but why must he be alone in the end…

Everywhere Mobius looks around this park, he can only think about Loki; he wants Loki to be with him. He sees him in every shadow, and he swears that he can even feel him…but he just can’t see him. It’s like Loki is right behind him, just a footstep away, but it’s impossible to take the next step; they are both torn apart.

“Through wading grass, the months will pass. You'll feel it all around." Loki knows that one day he will watch as his Mobius passes on. The months will turn to years, and the years will become millennia, but there Loki stays, chained for eternity as he watches and grows the timeline.

Mobius spent the rest of that day in the park and the rest of his life always feeling Loki but never seeing him. Mobius feels him all around, in every corner of his life and soul.

God, he'd give anything just to see Loki again.

“I'm here, I'm there, I'm everywhere. But you can't catch me now. No, you can't catch me  now." Both of them know they will never cross paths again. Both understand that their presence can be felt by others, as it transcends any logic of this life. The bond they have crafted was only meant to grow but is now forever paused as greater manners came into play. Loki may hold every timeline in existence, but he projects his presence most onto Mobius’s life…He’s here, he’s there,

Loki is everywhere, but Mobius will never catch his glance or hold him close ever again.

——————————————————————————

(a/n): can you all tell im still not ok haha…ive been sobbing but hopefully y’all like this!!

[mobius-m-mobius]

it's a fair question 🙃 Lokius Incorrect Quotes [12/∞]

[mikasnazz]

Everything sings

[lexycxndy]

The Temptation

“The Devil is real. And he's not a little red man with horns and a tail. He can be beautiful. Because he's a fallen angel, and he used to be God's favorite.”

some Loki variants can never be trusted.

[tired0artist]

What if Mobius, on the sacred timeline, dies in the attack on New York in 2012? And he created a branch by somehow surviving?

Like imagine he’s working for a firm that sells jet skis. That’s how he knows so much about them, cause he works in marketing and he has a whole speech prepared to interest the buyer.

He’s in New York cause he’s meeting a potential client or partner or something. He’s there for work and then shit hits the fan.

On the sacred timeline, Mobius dies covered in rubble, trying to dig himself out.

On the branched timeline he somehow managed to drag himself from under the rubble only to get arrested by the TVA just for SURVIVING.

That would be sick. And angsty. That’s why it’s my new fav Mobius headcanon lmao.

And of course Loki would feel sick to know that he’s the reason why Mobius dies over and over again on the sacred timeline.