#logic say just say yes holy shit its not that hard
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azvainia · 17 days ago
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Don’t Think (Too) Much — inspired by this comic
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lusalemaart · 1 year ago
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🥛🍔
#really getting fucking tired of tumblr not compressing my file itself. like it ruins the quality but it wont#automatically resize my massive fucking files!? gotta do it myself?? ugh. the lack of usability across all social media platforms is just#getting so hard to stomach anymore. nothing is functional. people get their accounts removed for no logical reason. im exhausted.#and yet i still want all my shit in a collective place -_-#ugh.do you ever look at something and are like. holy shit i painted this.damn. unfortunately it doesnt happen very often but when it does?#almost always my vent boy. why. why is that?why cant i paint anything half decent except this emo boy with a mullet?whatever. also. kinda#random but.not actually random. related actually.idk if this is just me but like. sometimes there are Articles in ur living space that just#exist. like u just accept they exist even tho u have no recollection of attaining them. im talkin clothes specifically rn. like i have this#aqua-green robe with blue trim that ive had as far back as i can recall...except i cant for the life of me remember where it came from! its#almost like it spawned in my closet one day.i just. accept it.like. dont get me wrong. it cozy. its quite physically held up for decades.#i wear it all the damn time. but ive no mortal clue how it got here. ive no memory of receiving it.also ngl i had way too much fun renderin#his beard.like u cant tell bc i apply about a million overlay layers and filters respectively to my finished works. ultimately covering up#hours + hours worth of finely rendered details each drawn individually by hand. deeming my efforts useless in the end bc i cover it up but.#trust me. i took some time with that beard.beard gang beard gang.mullet beard gang.dirty smelly mullet beard man. hello yes my name is#80 y/o who is 32/33 years old. how are you today? im personally doing terrible.good talk. WHAT CAN I SAY i just think the emo grown ass man#with boatloads of physical AND emotional trauma is neat. MY HANDS LOOK LIKE THIS SO HIS DONT HAVE TO *camera pans to a fucked up little set#of discolored claws skin translucent as alll hell. no muscle.atrophied beyond repair. also a bit of dirt is caked under the brittle + ridge#unhealthy nails. cuts and scraped take approx 3 months to heal bc the nerve functioning is That Bad*.#botdbs#fk#on a final note. I drew these about a week ago. I was literally only listening to cheeseburger in paradise the whole time. Then I learned#today that Jimmy Buffett passed away yesterday. broke my heart a little. i was just drinking my coffee from my margaritaville mug too.#Rest in peace legend. I hope heaven has so many cheeseburgers.#so many cheeseburgers in literal paradise.#Makin' the best of every virtue and vice. Worth every damn bit of sacrifice. to get a. cheeseburger in paradise.
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ladadee195 · 6 months ago
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Ladadee meets Legends of Avantris at Too Many Games 2024 (LONG POST read at your discretion)
I'm not one to write up a trip report cause I'm firmly in the "no one gives a shit." camp but for this I feel like people will get a kick out of my anxious distress over the past two days and I know those that couldn't make it would also appreciate it.
I knew a few months ago that when LOA said they were gonna be at TMG that I could go, its only an hour away from me. I'd gone to TMG back in 2019 to meet Brandon Rogers of Youtube and Helluva Boss fame and even then I didn't get HALF as nervous as I did the past two days. I was a shaking hyperventilating mess. Embarrassing, truly.
Friday was worse then Saturday.
First off, we'd barely parked in the parking lot when we see Andy casually strolling across the parking lot and get into his very nice red mustang, nice to see where the car vlogs happen!
By the time we got to the booth I could barely breath but I wanted to grab my free pin and say hi first. I want to disclaimer this by stating that I realize LOA tries really hard to make it perfectly clear that the Party and fam are regular people that work hard to produce their content and be successful at what they do without being celebrities or influencers. Logically, I know this and I respect the hell out of it. However my hyperfixated brain and general anxiety made it incredibly hard for me to remain CALM. Its really hard to remain calm when you've been watching them by yourself alone in your room hours upon hours and then suddenly there they are in real life before you, talking to YOU! How am I meant to be remain calm?
Anyway, I met Andy and Nikkie. Talked briefly with Andy and just generally embarrassed myself but he's so cool ya know and is probably used to it all things considered. I asked them both to sign my Cake Chad shirt, both we're happy to do so and I got a great hug from Nikkie. After that I cut my losses and decided to move on. Their meet and greet wasn't for a few hours and we were hungry. When the meet and greet came, I jumped in line to get a picture. It went really quick and I got no chance to really talk to them but they were super awesome and I love the picture! I knew they were TALL but god I felt like a hobbit.
The live show wasn't until 7:30 so we left the con to check into our hotel and relax for a few hours. It was a nice break and I finally got to breath. We returned to the con and got seats for the live show.
if you haven't already seen other's overviews or the whole video I wont spoil anything but it was SO good. I was so curious about what they could possibly do for a one shot but holy shit was that amazing. Its always interesting and fun to attend live shows with cheering and laughter and suggestive whistles. Gives one a sense of community you only ever get a taste of on here or discord.
Afterwards we went back to our hotel and rewatched the whole show on the live stream LOL
Saturday I was much calmer because I had a goal. Get the whole parties signatures and not be embarrassing.
We did a lot of waiting cause the con opened at 11 and again their meet and greet was at 3 but we managed to pass the time well enough and then we got back in line. An readers when I tell you how amazing it went!?? I was very proud of myself even though I was still nervous and shaky I did much better.
They all were super cool and signed my Hootise shirt. I still geek out thinking about it! But the best thing happened. Richie saw my Gideon/Kremy candy bead bracelet I'd made myself and legit forgot I'd worn for this exact reason. This is how that went. Richie: is that a Kremy and Gideon candy bracelet?
Me: YES!I forgot I had that on!
Richie: thats the best I gotta get a picture and show Mace.
I was DYING omfg. The two behind the ship SAW my ship bracelet??? still freaking out. I decided that I should have made ones for them. I convinced myself they wouldn't like them, I know better now for next time.
After they'd all signed my shirt I gave them my thanks and MAYBE acted a little embarrassing when I told them name and that I was already in the discord but as I said earlier they're so cool and awesome I doubt they noticed me being like that.
i felt like even though it was short I had a really good moment with them which is all I really wanted.
I regret a lot of things. Like the fact that I had plans on making them gifts but ran out of time due to me being sick like right up until Friday and being so nervous and scared and I acted only a little crazy. I know next time (PAXUnpluged in Dec?) I'll be much better prepared.
I hope those that cared to read this very long post enjoyed my little overview. Just remember even though you may be scared and nervous to do something, you still should cause you never know how great it might be at the end.
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bteezxyewriter12 · 2 years ago
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Last Resort
Pairing- Jimin x Named Reader, Tae x Named Reader, Jimin x Jungkook
Word count- 4k
Includes- Riding, blow jobs all around, fingering, pussy eating, cum eating, multiple orgasms, fluff
Tag List- @mingtina @jaxxmine @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa
@borntowalkaway @soulseobi05 @kpop-bambi @seokwoosmole
Masterlists- check out for more fics
📝Masterlists 📝BTS Masterlist
📝OT7 Masterlist
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Jimin POV
"Fuck Jo. Faster"
She nods, bouncing on my cock faster, pleasure hitting me hard
"Good girl", I answer, "Cum on me"
"Soon", she murmurs
"What do you need baby?", I ask
"Fuck me too"
I nod, gripping her hips and thrusting into her tight cunt
"God yes", she moans, both of us moving together
"Jimin....Jimin", she gasps, "Fuck Jimin"
I watch her cum on me, feeling the pleasure I get from it
So good
When she finishes, she moves off me, sitting on my stomach
"Tired", I smirk
"No", she snorts, "I'm getting off so you don't cum. Just in case"
I nod, "Good idea"
"Do you really think this is going to work?", she asks doubtfully
"It might. It's like our last resort. They don't fucking pay attention to any of our hints"
"They're so oblivious", she agrees
Jungkook and Tae
The two guys we love
She loves Tae and for me it's Jungkook
It's always been Jungkook
I had no idea I was bi until I met him
I've only ever been with her
My best friend who is also my friend with benefits
We came to the agreement we'd have sex years ago
I couldn't have a girlfriend or Jungkook but I'm still a guy and like sex
She didn't want a boyfriend who wasn't Tae but she's a girl and likes sex too
It was the best solution
We knew each other since we were kids, we know everything about each other and it was logical
We both knew it was just sex and who we loved
And we tried to help each other get the guy we want
Dropping hints, flirting, wearing sexy clothes
For her its more revealing clothes, for me it's tighter shirts and pants
Nothing works
They're both so dense
And her and I fuck our frustrations away
But this time we came up with a plan that hopefully will work
Fucking in the living room when both Tae and Jungkook are out, hoping they come in and catch us
Then we'd invite them to join us
Hopefully they say yes and this can lead to something else
If not then at least her and I can cum
"If it doesn't work I'm gonna riot", she mutters
I laugh, "What am I not enough?"
She narrows her eyes, "Oh shut up Jimin. Of course you are. But it's not the same as it'd be with Tae and you know it"
Yeah I know
It'd definitely not be the same as with Jungkook
I've never been with a guy before
I don't know what it's like or really what to do
But I'll figure it out
"Hey you're soft", she teases
"Well that happens when your cunt isn't around me. Or when your mouth isn't"
She rolls her eyes, moving off me, "Stand up"
I stand as she goes on her knees
She grips my cock, pumping it a few times to get me semi hard
Then she puts her mouth around me, sucking immediately
"Fuck", I moan, closing my eyes as pleasure fills me
As much as I want Jungkook, I do like having sex and getting blow jobs from her
Her cunt is so fucking tight, throbs so fucking nicely around me
And I love eating her cunt
She tastes good
I move my hand in her hair, holding on as she moves back and forth on me
"Good girl", I moan
I hear the door open, Tae and Jungkook's voices filling the hallway
Her eyes widen and I nod, "Keep sucking baby. I'll ask them ok?"
She nods, her mouth moving faster and I have to try hard to keep my eyes open
"Fucking hell", I hear Tae whisper
"Holy shit"
That was Jungkook
I look up at them to see their shocked faces as they stand in the living room
"Hey", I say casually
"Uh...", Tae says, his eyes on her
"Wanna join?", I ask
Tae's reaction is immediate
"I wanna fuck her", he yells, practically running to us, "Can I?"
She looks at him and nods
"Get undressed", I tell him
Jungkook just stands there looking around
'Please say yes', I think
Tae is already getting undressed so he seems into it
I'm not sure if Jungkook is into it and reluctant or wants nothing to do with it
"What can I do?", Tae asks desperately, his hands touching her body, feeling her up as he stays behind her
"Fuck you feel so good", he says in awe
I see her smile around my cock and honestly I'm happy for her
I have no clue if Jungkook is into guys but if she can get Tae then it's worth it
I know how much she loves him
He's all she wanted for so long
Since she met him
"Finger her. Make her cum", I tell Tae
His hand immediately shoots down, his long fingers instantly inside her
She moans loudly, he looks like he just won a gold medal, smiling so happily
I watch his fingers move in and out, his other hand squeezing her boob, playing with her nipple, pleasure on her face as she continues to suck my dick
Jungkook is just standing there, watching
"Kookie. Come help me suck Jimin", she breathes out heavily
Yes please
Please, please, please
"I...I don't know how", he says softly
My eyes snap to him, him biting his lip
"I'll teach you", she gets out
I don't tear my gaze away from Jungkook
"Ok", he whispers
Ok?
He said ok?
Oh my fucking God yes!
Yes yes yes
Oh fuck
"Take your clothes off Kookie", she instructs him
I watch in awe as he strips, his abs so pretty, his cock so big and semi hard
Guess this is turning him on
"Please cum for me", I hear Tae begging her, "Please please"
Looking back at them, I see the pleasure in her face, his hands moving fast, this thumb playing with her clit, his mouth giving her kisses all along her shoulder blade and back of her neck
Yeah they're definitely getting together
"Tae", she moans, shaking as she orgasms, her hand squeezing my hip where she's holding
"Yes baby, yes", he moans, giving her more kisses everywhere he can
"Come here Kookie", she says after her orgasm finishes
Jungkook comes closer, getting on his knees next to her
I'm so fucking excited
I can't believe this is happening
"Oh fuck", she cries, her nails digging into my thigh even more
I look down to see Tae laying on the floor, under her, his tongue buried in her pussy
And he's going at it like he's never eaten anything before
Her hand moves into his hair, holding on, pleasure all over her face
"Watch", she tells Jungkook
She licks from my base to my head, then takes my head in her mouth sucking
"Fuck", I moan
She moves down all the way, deep throating me, her head moving back and forth, sucking as she goes
"Oh god", I cry, the pleasure so good
She's moaning around my dick from Tae's tongue as well, the vibrations running up and down my spine
After a minute, she moves off, yelling Tae's name as she cums
Tae moans loudly, "So good. Fuck so good"
I know what he means
She does taste good
"More baby please", he pleads, his mouth around her clit sucking hard
"Fuck Tae, yes", she whimpers
"Ride my mouth baby. Please for me", he begs
I watch his tongue go right inside her, his hands moving her hips on his face
She moves, grinding on his face
Christ they're so into each other
I wanna be like that with Jungkook
"Llll...lick him Kookie"
I feel a tongue on me, my eyes snapping down to see Jungkook lick me
And I just get turned on to the max
"Put him in your mouth"
My eyes don't tear from Jungkook as I watch him finally, finally wrap his mouth around my cock
I never thought this fucking day would come
He sucks once and I moan so loudly, "Fuck"
"Suck more. Faster", she gets out
Jungkook's mouth moves faster, the sucks so fucking pleasurable
I hear her yell again and Tae praising her for tasting amazing while I'm lost in the pleasure from Jungkook's mouth
Slowly, I put my hand in his hair, softly playing with it
Suddenly Tae is standing next to me, moaning so loudly
Glancing over, I see her on her knees his cock buried in her mouth as she goes at it
"Fuck baby", he breathes, "You're mouth is fucking perfect"
It is
But for me, now Jungkook's is better
"Come on Kookie. Get him all in your throat", she urges, getting off Tae, him whining immediately
I could kiss her right now
I watch her push Jungkook's head down, my cock going in more and more
"Good job Kookie. Jimin has a big cock but it's so good to suck on"
She looks up at me, smirking and I silently thank her
Jungkook keeps going, getting me all in, choking a little
"Breathe Kookie. It's ok. It'll pass"
I watch Jungkook breath with my cock in his mouth, tears in his doe eyes
Good god, I could cum right now
"Good Kookie. Now move back"
She moves his head about half way down me
"Now go back up"
She pushes his head again, this time up
"Keep doing that until you get used to it. Then I'll tell you what to do next"
Jungkook moves his head up and down my cock, taking me in over and over again, the sight pushing me so much closer
God I'm in so much pleasure
I finally have him after years of wanting him
All the years of waiting and it was so worth it
"Now Kookie, suck his cock while doing that"
I feel a soft sucking motion at first, it getting stronger every suck and the pleasure intensifies
I really can't hold it much longer
Tae moans again and I know she's sucking him off again
He's holding her hair, fucking her throat while she takes it, sucking at the same time
This is fucking insane
Both me and Tae getting blow jobs at the same time
"Baby I'm gonna cum", Tae yells
That was quick
But I know from experience she's fucking good at oral
She's made me cum in less than a minute
And she's also made it last a long time too
She just knows when I needed a quick blow job or a long one and she did it
Now Tae gets to have that with her
While I get my Jungkook
"Joanne fuck!", Tae yells
I can't help but look at her, watching her swallow his cum eagerly, moaning
It's a turn on to see
"Tastes so good Tae", she praises him
Jungkook sucks harder, burying me in his throat again and again
"I...I...fuck", I moan, my cum shooting in his mouth, bliss taking over my body, my legs shaking
"Head down Kookie, take him all in", she instructs and he obeys
"Now swallow. All of his cum."
Jungkook swallows, his throat closing on my shaft, sending spikes of more pleasure through me
"Keep going. Jimin cums a lot"
Jungkook moans while swallowing and it's music to my ears
When my orgasm is over, Jungkook moves off me, licking his lips, spit all over his face
"Hyung tastes good"
My eyes pop out of my head
Holy shit, he really said that
I'm happy
Like stupidly happy
"Does Kookie want hyung to suck his cock too?", I ask looking down at his huge cock
I lick my lips, just imagining it in my throat
He nods and again I'm surprised
"Stand up Kookie"
He does, standing in front of me
Tae kneels down and picks her up, carrying her to the other couch
"Wanna fuck you noona"
"Yeah Tae, want it. Want you"
I'm glad he wants her
He takes her to the couch, moving on top of her
I watch him look down at her, running his fingers in her hair
Does he love her too?
He never gave any indication that he felt anything for her
Was he hiding it?
He leans down, pressing his lips to hers
Of course she kisses him back, her arms around his neck, both of them holding each other so closely
Her legs move around his waist and from her whimper and his moan, I can tell he's inside her
"So good baby", he whimpers
She nods, "Yeah Tae. You feel so good too"
He kisses her again, moving, thrusting inside her
"Hyung", Jungkook says softly
I turn back to him
"I didn't forget you baby", I tell him, "I'm just making sure Jo is ok"
He nods, taking my hand, "Please?"
I kneel down, hearing Jungkook's slight gasp, making me smile
His huge cock is in my face, so hard, standing straight out and leaking cum
God his dick looks so good
Pressing my tongue to his slit, I taste his cum and I knew, I knew he would taste this good
I've never given a blow job before and I just recall what Joanne does to me
Moving my tongue to his base, I slowly drag it up, along his underside, then swirling around his head, his gasps so loud
I smile, moving my mouth around his head and sucking soflty
"Oh my god", Jungkook whimpers, his legs shaking
I remember to be aware of my teeth as I suck more on his pretty cock
Wrapping my hand around his shaft not in my mouth, slowly jerking him off
His cock is heavy on my tongue, stretching my mouth out but I love it
I finally have him, have his dick and I'm going to enjoy this
And make sure he does too
I take him more in with every suck, licking his shaft too
He took me all in and I want to do the same for him
His tip enters my throat and I choke right away, tears springing to my eyes
I can't do this slow
It has to be fast or it'll be hard
Ignoring the choking, I surge forward, burying his entire cock in my throat
I gag, spit falling from my mouth and around his cock, tears falling down my face
"Jimin, oh my god", he whines and that sound propels me to keep going
I suck on his massive cock, breathing through my nose, swallowing around his dick
His hands move into my hair, holding on as his eyes close, pleasure all over his face
All over his body
God he's fucking beautiful
And seeing him in pleasure is making me horny
Remembering how Joanne taught him, I move my head back down his length, then moves back up fucking him into my throat
"Jimin! Fuck", he cries
I bob my head, taking him back in, forcing my throat to relax against him cock
His cock throbs in my mouth and that fucking feeling is so hot, such a turn on
"I'm gonna cum!", he yells, "Jimin...I'm...Jimin!"
Hot delicious cum bursts in my throat and I swallow greedily, savoring the taste
"Oh fuck fuck, Jimin, fuck it feels so good! Jimin!"
The last of his cum spurts from his slit and I move down, sucking to make sure I get all of it, then move back, breathing in
"Hyung? Are you ok?", Jungkook asks, nervously
I lift my head, nodding, "Yeah Kookie, I'm fine"
He holds his hands out to me and I place them in his, him pulling me up easily
He comes into my arms, his face buried in my neck, his arms around my body
I wrap mine around him, holding him tightly, his skin so fucking soft against mine
"Hyung's hard again", he murmurs in my skin, my dick poking into his thigh
"I can't help it Kookie. It's you. You make me like this", I answer, wondering if I'm saying too much
But now that he's here, I just can't keep quiet
His hand wraps around my dick, stroking me softly, "I like that hyung"
"Yeah?", I tease, "You like that you make me hard?"
He nods, moving his hand faster, "You make me hard too Min"
That is something I've wanted to hear for ages
"When you dance and do those sexy moves. Fuck Jimin, I get so hard during practice and it's so hard to dance"
This is...amazing and completely unexpected
I had no idea he felt like that
"I know what you mean Kookie. I can't keep my eyes off you either. I'm always hard during practice"
I feel him smile into my neck, his hand going so fast, squeezing my cock as he moves
"Please hyung, wanna suck your cock again", Jungkook murmurs
"Yeah Kookie. You can baby"
Jungkook lifts his head, kissing my cheek, then my lips
I melt against his lips as his tongue slips in my mouth
I knew kissing him would feel like this
Like the best thing in the world
His kisses me so deeply, so desperately, his tongue down my throat, like he's never going to kiss me again
Which if everything goes right, he won't have to worry about
He can kiss me whenever he wants
His lips pull away from mine making me whine but he move to my neck, kissing down to my chest
And the whines turn into groans
When he gets to my tattoo, he kisses and sucks on the letters, leaving pretty bruises on my skin
He continues down, kissing and licking my abs
It feels so good, I'm going to have to do that to his
I want to make him feel good too
He slowly goes to his knees, kissing and licking my head
"Good boy", I praise him, getting off so much from watching him
He sucks me in his mouth, moving fast, pleasure blasting in my body
God it's only the second time he's blowing me but he's so good at it already
He really is a fast learner
He's not called the golden maknae for nothing
I remember that Joanne is here and I look up for her, to make sure she's ok
She's on Tae's lap, bouncing hard on him while he thrusts up into her
"Like it noona?"
"Yes Tae", she moans, "Fuck your cock is the best"
Tae moans loudly, "Please cum on me again noona. I need it"
She nods, bouncing faster
Jungkook sucks hard on me and I immediately look down
He's looking up at me with his huge beautiful doe eyes
"Watch me hyung", he whispers
I nod, "I will Kookie. I'm just looking to see where Jo is"
At that moment she yells loudly,
"Yes Taehyung, oh baby yes"
Both Jungkook and I look at them
She's coming on him, and he's looking at her as if she is the best thing he's ever seen in his life
"He loves her so much", Jungkook says
"He does?", I ask, kinda surprised
If I didn't see the way he is with her today I wouldn't think so but he's showing it now
Jungkook nods, "She's all he thinks about. He's wanted her for so long"
"Then why hasn't he ever said anything?"
"Because he was worried about you"
Me?
Why me?
I look at Jungkook, confused
"He didn't know if you'd want him to date your best friend at first. But then after you two started having sex he thought you two had feelings for each other so he didn't say anything.", he elaborates
Shit
I didn't think about that
Now it's a no brainer that he and Jungkook would think we're together or we love each other
Obviously that's what it looked like
No wonder he didn't respond to any of her hints
He thought she was with me
"He was so jealous of you. Anytime she was around you, even just sitting next to you, he was crazy with jealousy. He wished she would see him."
"She did", I answer, "He is all she wanted since she met him. She loves him so much. She dropped so many hints, tried flirting but he didn't get it"
"He did. He thought that's just what it was. Flirting. Because he thought she was with you"
I shake my head, "It was just sex."
I watch her move on him, the pleasure all over his face as he calls her name
He holds her on him and I know he's coming inside her, both of them whimpering
"Then they can be together", he states
I nod, "Yeah"
"He wasn't the only jealous one"
My eyes move to his immediately, hope in my heart
"What do you mean?"
"I was jealous too"
Jealous of who?
Me or her?
"You wanted her too?", I ask, going with the safe option
Just because he's doing this now doesn't mean he wants to be with me
"No hyung", he says softly, "I wanted you"
I hold my breath, hoping I'm not hearing things
"Me?"
He nods, standing up, holding my hand
"Look I'm not going to pretend I know what I'm doing. Or why I feel this way for you. I never thought of another guy this way. Only you. I never wanted a guy like I want you. It's scary for me. But I want you to know this...this isn't just a one time thing for me"
Oh god yes
"I love you"
My heart bursts in happiness
Pure unadulterated happiness
"I don't know when I started feeling this way for you. All I knew was that I was so jealous when you were with her. Hearing you two killed me and Tae. That's why me and him were always together. We could talk to each other about our feelings. Our jealousy. Our wish that both of you would see us. Want us"
"I do Jungkook. I want you. She wants Tae. Both of us were just with each other for sex. Me and her...we used to come up with ways to drop hints to you two but nothing ever happened. This whole thing today...we planned this"
His eyebrow raises, "You did?"
I nod, "Yes. We thought that if you two would walk in on us and I invited you to be with us, you both would and we would be with the one we love, hoping more would happen. This was the last resort. The last try we were gonna do"
"Well it looks like it worked for them", he says, nodding at the couch
I look and see her laying in Tae's arms, both of them looking at each other, softly touching each other
Tae smiles at her, "I love you"
She had the biggest smile on her face and she tells him she loves him
I'm so happy for them
They both deserve each other and deserve to be happy
I can't think of anything better than my two best friends in love
"Yeah it did", I answer, looking at him, "And for us?"
"I'd say it worked. If you want to be with me", he says
I nod, "Yeah I do"
He smiles his beautiful smile and my heart melts
"I want to be with you too Jimin"
Nodding, I pull him to me, crashing my lips to his, kissing him hard
He responds, his tongue in my mouth, pulling me against him, his arms around my neck, mine around his body
"Come to my room hyung", Jungkook whispers
I nod, "Yeah. And Kookie, it's not hyung anymore. Just Jimin"
He gives me a shy bunny smile as he nods
He takes my hand and we both turn around to head to his room, just as Tae stands, picking her up
"Nap time pumpkin", he says softly as he carries her out of the room
"Mmm ok baby", she says sleepily
The door to his room closes, Jungkook looking back at me and smirking, "Bet they won't sleep for long"
I chuckle, "Oh no, they're going to be at it all day and night"
"Like us?", he asks, hopefully
"Definitely like us", I smile
With that he tugs my hand, leading me to his room
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wowifinallywatched · 11 months ago
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Listen...this is not my official more coherent thoughts around the Jigsaw installment of the fucking incredible Saw franchise that i normally like to post first but if you've ever wondered what it's like to watch a movie with me and my internal monologue well LOOK NO FURTHER
Coherent thoughts will be coming soon, but for now enjoy a raw reaction to whatever the FUCK THIS WAS I JUST FINISHED WATCHING AND I AKSBFKABF I JUST NEED TO SHARE THIS FEELING WITH SOMEONE HOLY FUCK-
JIGSAW
Listen if you're gonna be bringing this iconic and amazing as fuck series back it better be Fucking at the same level
Ah yes your standard creepy detective who makes sexist jokes like they get paid for it and no one does anything about it because “it's just who they are” and it's one of the bad qualities you have to adopt in about this person uh yeah no FUCK THA-
Okay I'm sorry I'm fucking sorry 39:33??!?!?!?!?!? FUCKING GOLD BEAUTIFUL STUNNING THAT WAS EVERYTHING IVE WANTED LISTEN I KNOW TRUST THE PROCESS OF THESE MOVIES DONT JUDGE TOO SOON BUT FUCK ME THAT WAS GOOD AND I WAS STILL TEETERING  Listen I miss John okay-
WHAT THE FUCK IS GONNA HAPPEN IS HE GONNA COME BACK FROM THE DEAD OR IS THIS REALLY SMART AJBRIAHE Fucking skin suit or secret child ass akdbia
Eleanor DYING WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT Like i can judge this would totally be me as well BEAUTIFUL??? OKAY BITCH NOW I THINK YOU'RE CRAZY
OH MY GOD SHOW ME WHO THE FUCK POISENED YOUR SIPPY CUP BAG MOTHERFUCKER I AM LOSING MY SHIT NOT KNOWING IF JOHN REALLY IS ALIVE OR NOT FUChis
“He was my nephew” Oh my god he was his nephew I'm sorry I had to-
BRKJZISHWJBEJAHSIWBWIHSIS MOTHERFUCKING SAW MY FUCKING GOD YOU'VE DONE IT AGAIN WJDBQJ PUTTING HIM IN JOHNS CASKET HAHAHHA HOW THE FUCK DID THEY DO THAT QUIETLY OH MY GOD I LOVE THESE MOVIES SO MUCH THEY'RE ALWAYS ONE STEP AHEAD AND JUST AJDBSIHDJW OBSESSED  I CANNOT OH MY GOD I LOVE IT ONE OF MY FAVOURITE SCENES IN MY BRAIN IT WAS EITHER GONNA BE TWO OPTIONS, JOHN WAS GONNA BE THERE OR HE WASN'T  BUT JUST IN SAW STYLE, A SURPRISE THIRD OPTION HAS APPEARED HAHAHAH Its like when you watch these movies, you're thinking so hard about one part of it (where the fuck is John) that you become completely oblivious to other options (surprise Mr. Coma has appeared) ALSO I WORK IN THE FUNERAL INDUSTRY AND THERE IS STRICT LAW THAT YOU CANNOT OPEN UP A COFFIN INSIDE THE CEMETERY SO H A
I'm trying to bring logic into these movies when I just watched a man get turned into a human milkshake
But this also means that someone could have taken John's body and has been using his DNA  But would the tests come back saying the DNA is dead or alive? Like someone purposely put his DNA under the guys nails to throw them off who's really playing these games I wonder if it's the OG Dr. saw bathroom who's running the show If John really is alive that would be fucking perfect This psycho mortuary girl better not have dug up John himself to fulfill her obsession I SWEAR- OH MY GOD SHE HAS THE OG SAW STOPPPP HAHAHAHAH Wait wait NO NO NO THIS IS A SET UP I SWEAR OH MY GOD THE DETECTIVE
everyone's like “oh copy cats copy cats” but it's actually the fucking detectives that study these cases of jigsaw everyone calm your tips MY TITS ARE NOT CALM WHERE IS THE DAUGHTER NO IM NOT FUCKING AROUND WHERE IS HIS DAUGHTER I SWEAR 
Oh my god I hear remnants of the saw music as they drive off from the house 🥺 LITTLE PIGGY IS STILL IN PLAY LES GOOOO Everytime I see VAIDUWOFJKSHEIEHDIJWKDNWKJFKSBEKNWKDJEKDBOSBRKANJDHSID JOHN JOHN SOBDJSBDIAHDIHA I JUST CHOKED ON MY CEREAL OH MY FUCKING GOD JOHN MY JIGGY SAWWY MAN IM GONNA CRY HOLY FUCK IVE MISSED YOU NSKFBSJS HOW THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK YOU WERE IN A FUCKING MORTUARY WHAT IN THE EVER LOVING FUCK NO I DO NOT TRUST WHAT I SEE ARE YOU A TWIN BROTHER OR SOME SHIT I AM LOSING MY MIND WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK DID THEY REPLACE YOUR BODY BUT THE TEST SUBJECTS WOULD HAVE COME BACK IS THIS A HALLUCINATION HOLY SHIT  I AM ABOUT TO BREAK THIS FUCKING TABLE HOLY FUCKING SHIT My boy you look like you've aged so much Oh my god that misdiagnosis hit way too close to home alright I am John number one protector BUT HOW THE FUCK IS HE ALIVE BECAUSE THE TUMOUR AND THE SKABKFJA John baby listen i love you so much and I love the game you've got going on and you give the best monologue but HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU ALIVE
Listen surely those jigsaw pieces are a set up because surely not even the most dumbass of cops would keep that in their fucking FREEZER HAHAHAH
I am absolutely fucked I trust none of you bitches except daddy mortuary 
AWWWWWWWWW MEANING BEHIND THE PIG HEAD MENTIONED SO CASUALLY THAT IS SO CUTE JOHN
John is so fucking extra he has all these props and then uses a single shotgun
This is more trying to pick who Johns new apprentice is and i don't like any of them
GIRL WHY WOULD YOU WEAR BOOT HEELS TO THIS SCAVENGER HUNT
Listen John sliding the door to people's eternal doom just hits different okay
BACKWARDS OH MY FUCKING GOD JOHN YOU ARE SO SMART It’s literally been the EXACT SAME ALL THESE YEARS PLAY BY THE RULES HE NEVER SAID YOU HAD TO SHOOT EACH OTHER FOR YOUR FREEDOM THAT WAS NOT A RULE HE SET IN PLACE HAHAHAHAH I LOVE THIS AND I WAS CLAIMING HE WAS USING A SIMPLE ASS SHOTGUN OF COURSE IT WASN'T JUST A SHOTGUN I KNOW BETTER THAN THIS
DADDY MORTUARY WAS THE DOCTOR THAT FUCKED UP HIS TEST RESULTS OH MY FUCKING GOD YOU ABSOLUTE LAZY DICKWAD OF A MAN YOU ARE DOOMED HAHAH
Wait what the fuck this is sus whats happening ABDKJSJEBWJDHIWVDJHS I THOUGHT HIS BODY WAS JUST ROLLING AT FIRST WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING NO NO WAY DADDY MORTUARY IS JOHNS NEW APPRENTICE DETECTIVE YOU AND ME ARE THE SAME WAIT WHAT DO YOU MEAN I AM HIM NO YOU WERE THE ONE I TRUSTED NO FUCKING WAY THE ONLY ONE I TRUSTED TURNED OUT TO BE THE MAN BEHIND IT ALL HAHAHAHAH FUCK WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN FUYCJA FUCKABAFSIABKFJBKAF HOLY FUCKING SHIT THAT IS HOLY FUCK LISTEN I STARTED TO DOUBT THIS ONE THEN I TOLD MYSELF DON’T DO THAT BECAUSE IT’S WHAT HAPPENS EVERY TIME I ALWAYS THINK THEY’RE NOT AS GOOD AS THE PREVIOUS ONE BECAUSE YOU HAVEN’T REACHED THAT CLIMATIC PLOT TWIST THAT PULLS ALL THE PIECES TOGETHER  AND THEN YOU REACH IT AND YOU THINK HOLY FUCKING SHIT THE FUCKING PAST AND PRESENT PLAY THAT THIS SERIES IS SO GOOD AT
OH MY GOD I GOT SO EXCITED THINKING MY BABY JIGGY SAWWY MAN WAS ALIVE BUT NOPE IT WAS JUST THE PAST GAMES SOBS AND IT’S SO FUNNY BECAUSE NOW IF YOU REWATCHED THIS MOVIE YOU’D SEE ALL THE SIGNS POINTING TO THE TRUTH You just have to follow the rules You just have to follow the signs pointed in the direction of the movie plot OH FUCK ME MOVIE GO FUCK YOURSELF WITH YOUR CLEVER WAYS Think about it if you really listened to this movie, it’s literally telling you exactly what’s going to take place Oh fuck me HAHAHAHAH I NEED TO REWATCH ALL THESE MOVIES NOW WITH THAT MINDSET THIS HAS MIND FUCKED ME I CAN’T BELIEVE IT THE FACT WE WERE WATCHING THE OG GAME WITH THE DADDY MORTUARY BUT SIKE IT WAS TEN YEARS AGO
Not gonna lie Daddy Mortuary was kind of hot Jesus I need to learn his real name I'm sure someone said it I was just blinded by his good looks-
I AM LOSING MY MARBLES I LITERALLY CONTINUE DO ANYTHING ELSE RIGHT NOW HAHAHA LIKE HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCKING SHIT THAT MOMENT WHEN HE STARTED GETTING UP LOST IT GAVE ME FEELINGS BACK TO THE FIRST SAW MOVIE WHERE JOHN SLOWLY GOT UP AND REVEALED HIMSELF  Oh my god Daddy Mortuary was the son John never got to have *GROSS SOBBING IN THE CORNER*
AND SLIDING THE DOOR SHUT JUST LIKE JOHN LIKE JIGGY SAWY FATHER LIKE JIGGY SAWY SON SO THIS GAME HAPPENED FUCKING YONKS AND WOULD HAVE ALREADY HAPPENED BEFORE AMANDA AND BEFORE WHATEVER THE FUCK DETECTIVE FACE WAS I ALREADY DON'T REMEMBER HIS NAME I just can't I can't believe they still gave us John Kramer content while he's still fucking dead that was so fucking clever You can't have a saw movie without the original Jigsaw in it and they fucking keep it alive in a smart way, not forced, but smart WAIT DADDY MORTUARY WHAT IN THE EVER LOVING FUCK DID YOU DO WITH JOHNS BODY I GET IT THE GAMES HAPPENED TEN YEARS AGO AND SUCH BUT WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO WITH JOHNS BODY  DID HE MOVE A WHOLE ASS CASKET AND REPLACE HIS CASKET WITH ANOTHER actually he works in a mortuary he would have the skills to do that HAHAHAHAH FUCKKKKKKK Listen this movie literally gave us John content, fucking ecstatic about it, then showed it was past John and that he's not really here right now
BUT THEY LEFT THE FUCKING DOOR WIDE OPEN FOR JOHN TO STILL BE ALIVE BY HIM NOT BEING IN THAT CASKET AND I KNOW ITS PROBABLY MORE A “They just put the body elsewhere/ replaced his casket” BUT LISTEN LET ME HAVE THIS SMALL OUNCE OF HOPE OKAY
ALSO DID I FUCKING CALL IT OR DID I FUCKING CALL IT ABOUT PUTTING JOHNS DNA UNDER HIS NAILS ON PURPOSE FUCKING CALLED THAT SHIT BITCH AND IM REALLY PROUD BECAUSE I CAN NEVER DO THAT WITH THESE MOVIES FUCK YES GO TEAM 1 FOR US  16 MILLION FOR THE MOVIE OKAY LET ME HAVE THIS ONE- Not me going on about how old John looks and it's literally exactly how he looks in all the other movies HAHAHAHAHAH
OH MY GOD IN THAT SCENE WITH JOHNS NEIGHBOUR AND LEG-O-LOSS I THOUGHT NEIGHBOUR WAS IN SHOCK (of course we find out because she was his neighbor) BECAUSE JOHN WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD BUT IT WAS ONLY BECAUSE THEY WERE NEIGHBOURS  NO ONE EVER BATTED AN EYE OR SAID BUT JIGSAW IS DEAD BUT JOHN KRAMER IS DEAD OH MY GODDDDD ANOTHER FUCKING SIGN TO JUST PAY ATTENTION TO THAT'S BEING SAID AND IT WAS REVEAL THE WHOLE MOVIE TO YOU
Just oh my God okay I need to lay this out Daddy Mortuary- Okay no let me find his real name Also poor fucking Eleanor she really was just a Saw fanatic and now she's wrapped up in something she doesn't even realise IF ONLY SHE KNEW BECAUSE SHE WOULD BE LOVING HER OWN STORY RIGHT NOW LOGAN HIS NAME IS LOGAN Alright so  Logan fucked up John's test results by mislabelling (the poor other fucking dude that got those results) which i feel like was a bit of an add on instead of reveal WAIT BUT IF THIS GAME HAPPENED BEFORE THE OTHER GAMES IN THE OTHER MOVIES Oh my fuck then he would have no reason to mention it in any of his past monologues because he already faced the man that did it and seeked his ‘revenge’ OH MY GOD OKAY REDEEMED THAT WAS THE ONLY THING I HAD TO COMPLAIN ABOUT BUT HE'S BEEN REDEEMED CARRY ON So John sets up one of his classic games, with the machine that was “never used” or they never found the bodies for OH MY GOD LOGAN GAVE HER THE ANSWER. LITERALLY JUST TOLD HER. BECAUSE HE FUCKING KNEW. HE WAS APART OF THAT GAME. HE WOULD HAVE RECOGNISED THE MACHINE STRAIGHT AWAY. HE LITERALLY TOLD HER BUT OF COURSE YOU WOULD NEVER SUSPECT IT TO BE ANYTHING BUT AN ACCUSATION HAHAHAH SHITTTTT I keep trying to write this out calmly and then get really Hyped up forgive me- The game begins with everyone having their sins AND YOU KNOW WHAT I THOUGHT IT WAS SO WEIRD THE GAME STARTED WITH SOMEONE STILL UNCONSCIOUS, IT FELT VERY UNLIKE JOHN BECAUSE HE'S ALL ABOUT HAVING A FAIR CHANCE TO REDEEM YOURSELF and when we finally got to see the result of that scene where John is racing out to save him because it was an unfair start and he wanted to personally give him a second chance IM NOT CRYING YOU'RE CRYING- I wonder how far apart these events were to the previous movie
ANYWAY
My brain isn’t working i literally can't stop thinking about John being a protective father to him John takes him under his wing seeing his pain, seeing his grief and to teach him its not about anger AND LOGAN TEACHING JOHN SOME THINGS TOO SOBS listen, John is the most forgiving person IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE IT I KNOW WE HAVE LIKE 8 MOVIES TO SAY OTHERWISE BUT LET ME EXPLAIN- HE GIVES THEM A CHANCE TO CONFESS AND THEN BE FREE HE'S ONLY PUNISHING THEM BECAUSE THEY WON'T CONFESS THEMSELVES NOT BECAUSE HE'S MAD Oh my god i really am protecting a serial killer  BUT HEY IT'S FICTIONAL And it is fucking wild to me that no one ever found these bodies (JUST LIKE MY BOY ADAM SOBS) and so Logan planned and waited until the perfect moment to fuck with the world Except there's one thing different from John to the other people that have tried to take his place John gives them a fair game, just play by the rules Amanda, Detective Douche, Logan - They all seemed revenge. They gave them a game, but it wasn't always fair, it wasn't always a game that could be won. Oh wait but Detective banana peel ass didn't exactly confess to freeing Logans wife's murderer so he didn't play the game right OKAY THAT WOULD BE VALID THEN It's just crazy to me that a game happened in real time and we technically got to see exactly what it would have looked like but we never saw the actual game
AND OF COURSE LOGAN CHOSE A GUY THAT DOOMED HIS WIFE'S DEATH AS THE GUY TO GET NO CHANCE FOR REDEMPTION TO REPLICATE HIS OWN EXPERIENCE HAHAHAH LOVE THAT
This was so fucking clever and i never want to stop talking about these movies oh my god
BUT OH MY GOD THE DETECTIVES FUCKING HEAD GETTING SPLICED LIKE A FUCKING BANANA PEEL I CANT- THAT WAS FUCKING BEAUTIFUL HORRIFYING AND DISGUSTING BUT SO FLUID AND BEAUTIFUL  I cannot wait to watch the new movie and see the graphics All things considered theyve really done these movies justice all through the years Like I'm so fucking happy with the ending of this movie And I fucking adore that we got to see John again But I'm not gonna lie my heart is a little broken he's not actually alive and well- I KNOW WE LITERALLY SAW HIM GET AUTOPSIED wait Was Logan the one to do his autopsy  I remember he mentioned something about John being full autopsied but I don't remember if he meant he did it himself WAIT ITS ALWAYS BEEN THE SAME MORTUARY HAND TO DO THE SAW AUTOPSIES HASN'T IT OH MY FUCKING GOD SO HE KNEW THE PLAN ALL ALONG HE FUCKING KNEW OH MY GOD I AM EMOTIONAL-
Now I need to go back and watch the other movies again, for many reasons, but to see if it was Logan all along
I JUST READ MY NOTES WHILE WATCHING PREVIOUS SAW MOVIES AND I MADE A COMMENT ABOUT HOW SUS IT IS THAT THERE’S BEEN ONE CONSISTENT MORTUARY HAND LOOKING AFTER THE SAW VICTIMS HAHAHAH CALLED IT (possibly)
God I don’t drink but right now I feel like I need a drink
ONTO THE NEXT ONE WHERE YOU REALLY CAN’T PREDICT WHAT WE’LL EVER GET AKSBFKBF
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quarktrinity · 1 year ago
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quark watches star trek season 2 episode 10
mccoy rants like an angry old man
mccoy thinks the vulcan salute is hard. loser
lets hang out with vulcans
fated return of the Bass Guitar of Narrative Tension
milf
vulcan ambassador is spocks dad :0 daddy issues here we come
does he not like spock or something
kinda weird that this is the first time weve gotten a tour of the ship in any way
spocks mom doesnt like that hes autistic
"explain the computer components" /ominous cello plays/
kirk keeps accidentally pressing the daddy issues button in spock
wait, im confused, is spock his surname or his first name? why would they call him mr spock, thats like calling mccoy dr leanord. but also why would his mom refer to him by his surname
spocks dad wanted him to go to vulcan college but he went to starfleet college instead
kirk kind of has some sexual tension with spocks mom. id entertain this if spirk wasnt so obvious
this is once again about the cold war
"youre only 102"
weird plastic pig mask
"this is not the council chamber of babel"
more goofy aliens
sarek is spocks surname?????? his first name is spock???????? this makes no sense!!!!
spock grew up with a fat teddy bear he cherished. mccoy loves this
formal wear on the enterprise is kinda dumb looking
Another Space Ship
spocks dad loves him <3
Space Ship Goes Fast
return of the stupid brandy bottle
Space Political Drama
what are delithium crystals
half of kirks job as captain is stopping pointless arguments
kirk is topless for no reason. thank you so much
kirks back in his dumb wrap shirt :T
the dude spocks dad argued with is dead, evidently from a vulcan technique of execution. obvious red herring is obvious
"vulcans do not approve of violence" YES THEY DO?????? YOU LITERALLY HAD A VIOLENT COURTSHIP RITUAL AT THE START OF THE SEASON??????? YOU ADVOCATED FOR MURDER ALL THOSE TIMES????????????
current theory is his mom did it
ok what the hell is the vulcan naming convention, spocks mom calls spocks dad sarek but shes mrs sarek and hes ambassador sarek so its clearly their surname but why would a wife call her husband her own last name that makes no sense
spocks dad has a vulcan heart attack
spock ur allowed to be worried abt ur dad its ok
spock ur looking suspiciously suspicious rn
Someone On The Ship Is Bad yeah we knew that
pretty sure spocks mom has gone through like three or four different costumes in this episode
spock has to donate A Lot of blood
Nevermind No He Doesnt
spock calls his dad sarek too. what the hell is the name sarek here
Nevermind Yes He Does Have To Donate Blood
kirk midriff spotted
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA KIRK JUST SLAMMED INTO A DUDE WITH HIS ASS
kirks shirt fully rode up his tummy for a bit there. huge fan
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kirk passes out <3 night night babygirl
kirk is topless again. good
suddenly spock doesnt want to donate blood bc hes in charge now
spocks mom says Donate Blood Now spock says No Theres A Lot Going On
spocks mom commits a microaggression
spock says if i risk the ships safety to save my dad my dad surely would not approve
spock was bullied as a child :(
spocks mom just slapped him holy shit. thats not cool
kirk is awake but immobile
SPOCKS DAD IS AWAKE????? WHAT THE FUCK IS HE JUST PRETENDING TO DO ALL THIS. OR DID THE ACTOR JUST OPEN HIS EYES FOR A SEC
kirk returns to duty! yay?
the way kirk smiles at spock is kinda....
oh good they didnt forget that vulcan blood is green
night night spock, blood donation time idiot
Weve Been Hit
Weve Been Hit... 2!
Weve Been Hit.... 3!!
Weve Been Hit..... 4!!!
Weve Been Hit...... 5!!!!
Weve Been Hit....... 6!!!!!
Youre Not Even A Real Alien
the enterprise plays dead
get space zapped idiot
yeah this is 100% about the cold war
i do love kirk being exasperated
spocks dad is fine now
spock loves his dad <3
spocks dad married his wife for Logical Reasons i guess
get cared for kirk. idiot.
mccoy resents being seen happy
i love u mccoy
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demonfox38 · 3 months ago
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Completed - Wild Guns Reloaded
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What do you mean, you can't use a single screenshot from a video game as both your feminist philosophy and gender identity?
How about two? Would two work?
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Man, so many things confuse me about Natsume as a company. Like, its history, for one. Splitting to form two different companies, both of which use Natsume in the name (Natsume Co. vs. Natsumi Atari, which no, is also not the Atari you are thinking of.) Then, of all products for Natsume-associated games to become popular, it's "Harvest Moon." Like. What? Why? I'm not saying the library of Natsume works is the most creative set, but they're all excellent zeitgeist encapsulations. Like, you want hard platforms with ninjas and bullet hell adjacent shooters with snappy music? Man, Natsume has you covered. But apparently, it's the dating/farming sims that the masses are all about. I just don't get it.
Look, man. I live in Iowa. If I wanted to do "Harvest Moon" shit, I would have done it in real life. Ya know. Joined 4-H. Picked rocks on my grandparents' farm. Showed animals at a county fair or two. Get knocked up in high school. Worked in an industrial slaughterhouse for Tyson. The kind of stuff that I have deliberately avoided.
Shooting robots in petticoats ain't something I can get in real life, so that's the game from the Natsume library I'm playin'. Living that sweet South Dakota lifestyle, I guess!
"Wild Guns Reloaded" (not to be confused with "Wild Arms," despite me doing that multiple times) is a 2016 remaster of Natsume’s SNES title "Wild Guns." Set in a vague futuristic depiction of the American West, you are charged with blasting the notorious Kid gang's faces cranially inward through a series of bullet-riddled levels. Do you have the structural integrity of a paper plate? Yes. But you also have access to several gun styles, bombs, electric lassos, grenades, and a drone being led around by a little long-haired dachshund. You'd be surprised what you can do with such an arsenal.
Look man, you're not playing this game for plot. You're doing it for the challenge and the sweet, sweet aesthetics.
Like, God. The original "Wild Guns" was already a stunner with its large, detailed sprite work and bombastic music. "Wild Guns Reloaded" has doubled-down on that, smoothing out its animations while keeping its bright sprites, broadening the play field, remixing its score with higher-fidelity instruments, adding two new stages, and throwing in two new characters with unique playstyles into the mix. And man, what a choice they made there, too! Getting a cute little doggie? Adorable. Getting a gigantic gal with legs like a Ninja Turtle action figure and the ability to pitch grenades in heaps at will? Outstanding!
Could there have been more logical character archetypes to pull? Sure. An Indigenous American, Latino, or Chinese immigrant character could have made sense, if care was taken into their implementation. But, man! I appreciate the stones of a game to toss a second Big Bertha into the mix. I'm not gonna be the bitch to argue against a dog, either. Excellent choices! Very creative! Bark bark bark!
As cool as it is, "Wild Guns Reloaded" is an unyielding steel wall in terms of difficulty. Like, yeah. I'm used to getting my teeth kicked in with certain games, so I wasn't surprised when even the first screen of the first stage was enough to push me back on my first try. What did surprise me is how few people on Steam have been able to drive through that first barrier. We're talking a 46.7% achievement rate for people able to beat the first boss. Next boss? 22.1%. Like, holy crap. Are we as a community that weak willed in spirit?
Having said that, I don't think it's actually very well communicated how to even play this game. Like, yeah, there's a manual. A whole whopping three pages long! But, that doesn't even remotely get into the logic behind the game. Or, hell. Even how to properly shoot.
So, I want to take a good chunk of this evaluation to do just that! Because damn it, this game is too fucking cool to not help other people get into it.
At heart, "Wild Guns Reloaded" is an arcade-style shooting gallery. In some sense, it could even be seen as an extreme variant of Treasure's "Sin and Punishment" series, or perhaps a game akin to "Galaga" or "Gradius." To survive, you need to not only dodge shots, but turn the tables on your enemies, using reflexes and memorization to hold waves back and smack bosses around for daring to try the same trick twice on you.
You have two planes of action to monitor:
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The red space is your general field of play (where you are expected to shoot down.) The green space is the area that you occupy. Aiming and walking are tied to the same controls, so you will move around a little bit when you are drawing a shot.
If you are in danger of getting hit, the game will let you know with a little "Look Out!" message.
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You can also watch the trajectory of an enemy's fire through this flashing cursor on screen:
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Missiles will have a subtle shadow effect on your territory as well, so keep an eye out for them:
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Your evasion options are either:
Walk with the control stick/directional keys (not generally advised unless you are playing the dog)
Jump using a dedicated Jump button (gets above obstacles)
Dodge by hitting the Jump button and your directional controls left or right while keeping the Fire button held (keeps your character on the ground; allows for faster recovery)
If the enemy lobs a stick of dynamite at you, you don't necessarily have to run. Stop firing, pick the dynamite up using the Fire button, and toss it back at your foes for a little extra damage! Whatever you decide to do, commit to it ASAP. You do not want to be around with that goes off.
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Generally speaking, it's to your benefit to plant your heels in the center of the screen and only move out of it when you are about to take a hit. (If you had a buddy, perhaps you could split the screen. But, good luck with that…) The game tends to punish you for hanging out in the corners of the screen, often deliberately planting sentries at the edges to rebuff you. Camping in the corners also reduces your space to evade, so it's better to keep your options open for evasion by owning the center.
Your offensive options differ depending on the character you play. For the original characters (Clint and Annie), the standard style is:
Hold the Fire button to shoot an uninterrupted stream of bullets
Tap the Fire button repeatedly and release to shoot out an electric lasso that stuns your target (allowing you to return to regular file and blast the crap out of them for a few seconds)
Whack the Fire button when an enemy is in your territory (sending them flying back)
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FYI—you should notice a brief change in your character's stance when you can whack an enemy.
Normal:
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Whacking:
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Doris' play style is based on building up power to unleash barrages of grenades at a target. Unlike Clint and Annie, she's waiting for a perfect opportunity to strike once and as hard as possible. Hold the Fire button to charge up her attack, then release it for her to unleash it. You can charge Doris' grenades up to an x7 multiplier, but most situations can be handled with at least a x3. Also, you can preserve her multiplier through dodges, so prioritize dodging on the ground to jumps where possible.
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Bullet's style separates his hit box into two separate entities (the drone and the doggie.) The drone can be activated by pressing the Fire button. It will continuously attack anything that comes into its aiming reticle, but it will have to be released and reset for new targets outside of its range. Bullet can't defend himself, but he can wiggle around much quicker than other characters, so it makes it easy for him to avoid getting hit while his robot buddy provides a steady stream of damage.
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You will have to disengage the robot to whack people back on the playing field, so make sure to keep Bullet by his buddy when someone comes creeping along the bottom of the stage. It is important to note that the robot can also be stunned, so you should try to keep it out of enemy fire when possible. It's just not a run ender necessarily if it takes a hit.
All characters have a bomb ability to clear the room when necessary to keep the screen from getting too busy. These are limited, so use them with discretion.
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Be sure to pick them up any time you see them on screen! You can usually find them either by killing specific enemies or blowing up chunks of the terrain.
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Clint, Annie, and Bullet can get limited-time modifiers for their weaponry. This can include a machine gun for faster damage, a shotgun for a broader range of damage, a grenade launcher for big and heavy damage, a laser gun for some precise spicy damage, and a harmless pop gun designed just to screw with you. All have a limited ammo account (around 50 for everything), so use (or deplete) wisely!
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The machine gun, shotgun, grenade launcher, and laser gun will all appear on screen as an icon with a single letter for their ammo type (M, S, G, and L, respectively.) A randomized weapon (including potentially the pop gun!) comes out of these:
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Everyone has a green meter on their HUD.
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This builds up as they hit and kill enemies. When it maxes out, this triggers the Vulcan Cannon. This weapon not only deals massive damage on hit, but it also makes your character invulnerable. It will run out of steam within a few seconds, so don't be too reliant on that status. But, it can help in a pinch.
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Everything past that? It's standard video game stuff, ya know? Memorize waves. Endure a minute or so of gunplay to get to the next boss. Learn their special moves. Find the glowing weak point. Crack it open. Regular Peppy Hare behavior.
Honestly, getting a handle on your offense style and movement capabilities is most of the challenge. The weird little movement ticks were what caught me off guard. I would be studying what few YouTube videos I could pull up for this game, stop, then go "Wait, what? I can do that?" before booting the game up and doing exactly what I saw. Like, I didn't even know how to fire my goddamn gun right. I didn't even think about holding my Fire button! I just went into rapid tapping! That's how far behind I was in all of this!
Having said that, you may want to remap your controller to something like this:
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(Buttons pictured correspond to an Xbox 360 controller.)
It'll allow you to keep spraying bullets with the back of your thumb joint, then kick in jumps or dodges as needed with the front of thumb.
As far as other issues go? I would have liked having some kind of screen select or boss rush for practicing. (I suppose just playing the game is practice enough. Still, I would have liked to focus on a few trouble spots at my leisure.) I know some people in the forums for this game on Steam were disappointed that the multiplayer function was local co-op only, but man, I can't imagine what a mess the net code and rollback situation for this kind of game would have been like. Especially, when you live in the middle of Fuckoff, Iowa and the really cool players are out in South Korea. I guess people out here do okay with whatever flavor of "Call of Duty" is available, but those games are also far more forgiving when it comes to injury and death. It's hard to get people recruited for this kind of abuse.
Although, I could see my dad playing this. Maybe just once!
Look, this game isn't for everybody. I get it. It’s a tough cookie. But, I think "Wild Guns Reloaded" deserves more than for half of its players to give up on it within 0.3 seconds of their first death. It's a wonderfully constructed game, and there's a lot of logic underpinning its challenges. It does require some gumption, analytical skills, and reflexes to push past the worst the game throws at you, but it's not insurmountable! Hell, the game gives you infinite continues! You just gotta grit your teeth and get in there!
Hell, I got my first game clear in under four hours of playing! It can be done, and maybe even in a reasonable amount of time! (Though, maybe keep your playing sessions under an hour and a half to give your hands a break.)
If you feel like you could use a waltz with a Winchester, "Wild Guns Reloaded" is currently available on Steam for $14.99. You may want to wait for a sale, if you're feeling iffy on it. Fine. Reasonable. Definitely more so than the average going price of ~$250.00 for the original SNES game. I might be a sucker for the retro market, but damn it. Even I've got to put my foot down every once in a while. Especially, when an affordable upgrade is available!
Life is hard. Sometimes, people just want to work on their cutesy little gardens and snuggle with their video game spouses. Get through the sadness softly. There's room for that in this world. Hell, there should be more room for it, if we're being honest.
But, uh…I prefer having a hearty digital ass-kicking instead. Even when neither the computer nor I know whose ass is going to get kicked.
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littlelegoman · 2 years ago
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Spoliers for dragon's rising
Spelling mistakes as well. Also I didn't write down Episode four's thing but I watched it.
Episode One:
A Netflix series; I see where we went wrong /hj
I love the way it rifts open like an eye.
What's that one song uh "thank you, I'll say goodbye soon.. though it's the end if the world; don't blame yourself now..."
Because that's the emotion I have
LLOYD MY BELOVED
He's so... he feels so different? Matured?
All the realms colliding is such an interesting thing to me.
LLOYD'S MASK
Now now Arin they may be Skeletons, Snails, and Frogs but they're still people like you and I there's no need for their species labeled first /j /lh
SORA IS SO /POS
PINK HAIR AND GAMED GIRL HEAD PHONES <3
She's so funny
Arin and Sora are so sister and brother vibe
I forget this is a kid's show and then the robots start fucking dancing
ALSO sora gives off Jay x Nya child vibes even though she looks nothing like them
Oo serpentine :D
"My fam" I'm- I'm cringing so hard
You're poor and yet you have a pent house?
Do they just give these things away???
It seems the merge hasn't been around for long; Arin is still the same height so
AZURE LION IS THAT YOU? /j /j
"Weakness, noun, quality of-" YOU LEAVE THAT LITTLE GUY ALONE
SNAKES THE SERPENTINE.
"Thst thing "
What happened to Lobbo's mom? I'm curious
The frog man Iis /pos
KREEL
I love that she calls them friends even though they're not
But by golly who dressed her up
GREEN? I.mean really, GREEN? And pURPLE?? GIRLY, get a hold of yourself.
Kreel is interesting. Is this a new kin I'm smelling? /hj
LOBBO MH BELOVED
That's so autism (/pos)
I want lobbo to win screw these guys, haha
Sora has ptsd.
yes YES LOBBO
Fuck lobbo's mom! Let's go! LETS GOOO
"Who are these kids?!" I wonder this all the time
The Dragon giving them powers is so interestin-- because ninjago realm wise it isn't possible but now the whole world turned upside down and nothing is the same
And I love it
IS THST AN ONI
Oh fuck that's the rip off Azure Lion /j
He looks like an Oni with the markings
Oh hey he has heterochromia
"I've known you for a while now" SCARED ME SO BAD I WANT THEM TO BE FRIENDS AND ONLY FRIENDS PLEASE
Please let me have this
LlOYD HEY WHATS UP BUDDY
Episode two:
He looks great for a man in green
I Haye the color green with a passion
NINJA FANDOM I love sora
this is unrelated but apparently we're winning (/ij)
It's not completely spinjitsu, there are different things about it
YEAH IT WAS A WEIRD VERSION but it was kinda similar
Lloyd knows nothing anymkre
THAT MAN WAS A TIGER? Oh God im--
Sora isn't from ninjago I don't think so her logic is different
"Not all of us.."
GOD ITS MASTER WU
Family is key
Haha
KH MT GOD DOES HE EVER TELL ANYONE ANYTHING
Yes.. chaos.
All 16 realms ahaha
Okay So Lloyd is alive; so is Kai,
Ah, cracks in reality.
Nothing makes sense and I
Wu is gone LETS GOO
I don't know if fhat means he's dead or missing but it's the same thing really
It's kinda strange. I miss how things were but the chaos is so inviting....
Riyu my beloved
DONT JUSF STAND THERE
Rapton my hated.
HOLY SHIT as if he wasn't a god before
It's only temporary though. At least it should be.
"There is a connection between us" please don't say it like that
The Dragon leader is wise indeed. I like her.
OOH woman
Oh I love her laugh
Episode 3:
I'm thinking of how Ras is merely a pawn in this woman's game.
ANYWAYS wu's picture is odd. Not like suspicious but it feels so strange.
Lloyd my beloved
haha he takes after wu
Lloyd having no facial hair is amazing "that's why I grew this beard" "What beard"
I'm getting flash backs hehe .
It's interesting because before Sora seemed more competent, but now Arin seems more competent.
THEY MASAACERED MY BOY RIYU
That's so nice to see the species who used to hate each other so much getting along and living together.
Mikloshe my beloved
LOBBO MY LOVE
He's such a little gjg
He's so autism
LABBO NO LABBO NO
You ET MY BOY GO
I did not expect Mikloshe to be feminine but I am making no complientes because the last girl snake was fuckkng pink
LLOYD BEJNG SELF AWARE
Labbo!
Oh who does my heart belong to; Labbo or Kreel?
Such a hard decision
Oh my God fuck off I just realized a good portion of my kins are autistic coded but they're robots
This is like finding the 16 realms became one ugh
Anyways
I like kreel, I think she's very interesting
LABBO
He's so /pos
Oh see I told you Kreel likes them (the henchmen)
Actually this is justifiable- well almost
Lloyd is like a concerned father right Now
OG THE MEMORIAL
Does Lloyd not have a picture? Interesting. But Kai is alive so thet means there's a chance everyone else is.
It's changed a lot yeah but it's been like a year; "my new best friend" and "we stuck together after she escaped" J IMAGINE THERE ISNT LIKE TEN YEARS BEYWEEN THAT
Arin's voice is still the same I think so he didn't change
Lloyd being told he looks like his uncle
(Call back to is Garmadon really Lloyd's father... /hj)
Dorama! Get it cause... drama.
Also, these all look like Kreel's minions which she says are her "friends-ish who work for her". None of them look like they'd be special.
Whack Rats seem to be at least as sentient as a human just non verbal...
Okay Dorama is growing on me he keeps getting trickier and trickier..
Kreel giving Labbo advice also he's closed of he's si autistic he IS SO ME
Lloyd owning up to his mistakes
NO YKU DID NOT JUST SAY "Dorama x Ras" I CANT BELIVE YKJ WOULD SAY THAT
THATS SO FUCKING FUNNY IM
Lloyd makes a good point about Sora and he'd powers.
THIS ISNT VERH /POS OF YOU KAI
It's not his fault I just want to know where he is.
"Should we be taking notes?"
"Let us never speak of this." DUDE HE'S SO MUCH BETTER THAN WU
I learned so much from my History Teacher because he was so chill (but not too chill) and fun. He was also gay but you get the point
Dorama hehe
Evil science woman! That's interesting. She doesn't seem really scared of Ras. Perhaps because she's not disposable.
She flinched when he growls but her tone isn't afraid and she seems to sass him
OH MY GOD WE'BE SEEN THOSE BEFORE
The craglings
I love Lloyd he's so much better than Wu
OOH water
nYA
oh God
LLOYD HEHE
HIS LITTLE POSE
Ninja nya our beloved hero (the title she deserves)
The cragling leader is so understanding AND THEN BECOMES RACIST
KAI'S GONE??
He's just missing right?
KAI KAI HEY
KAI'S GIRLY SCREAM AND NK ONE PAYS ATTENTJON TO JT
"ITS ALMOST AS IF I CSN HEAR KAI'S CRIES FOR HELP IN MY HEAD"
(I can still hear his voice; gay gay homosexual gay)
I like to think of Sora and Arin as Lloyd's kids/younger siblings
They're like a big happy family and I'm the dad and Logans the mom/ ref
"A dragon saved us?!"
LLOYD IS EVEN BETTER TNAN WU YEAHH
Also haha sora is so me sometimes
Episode 5?:
"THE KAI" I'm looking at MK right now /hj
CLOUD KINGDOMMMM
Oh my God what the hell is thst
It looks like the uh... season five thing
Also I like how the dragons look like the ninjas
AIR MAGIC AIR MAGIC
Getting flash backs to Morro
oHOLY SHIT
It makes sense because he's dead and the powers pass on. I like that.
Oh yes. I like that indeed.
Cloud Monk Woman my beloved.
EUPHRASIA I love you
YES GIRLLY
Slay quern
"I think... she is saving us."
"None of us were writing anything"
Destiny stopped existing the minute the merge happened.
"I knew the last one. I like you more." PLEASE MORRO HE WASNT BAD
Euphrasia... very nice.
The empress?... my my...
We keep losing people
Episode six:
Oh my God did Raptop or whatever his name is just die? He was crushed
How is be alive.
IMPERIUM
Sora is so good so /pos so smart.
Ana...?
Don't you dead name my girl
EMPEESS BEATRIX
OH MY GOD JTS A CULT
oh Dr. LaRow the woman who doesn't seem to fear the ras man.
Lloyd the ever caring father
Imperium... imperialism
Ohh. Sora.
Oh that's where she takes her name from.
Why does she have pink hair if those are her parents
Sorry sorry I just have nothing to say on this on.
The new prisoner is dangerous! And he isn't kai!
Oh okay so jt does seem its been a long time. Ten years? Five?
Episode 7:
This is a cult
PERCIVAL TARTIGRADE
Haha why does he look sound and act like my type /hj
Lucky for me I'll also what he is age wise
He's such a little guy
WyldFyre... hmm... she's not smart is she.
Here's the thing is that she isn't from their world so it's okay thst she has fire powers because this isn't her world.
Dorama how intelligent.
Everyone is so intelligent when they're not from the ninjago /lh
How old is everyone I can't tell
ITPF SOUNDS LIKE A PERSONALITY THLE
Percival is so autistic with his also autistic friends
I'm not mad at them, they've been indoctrinated.
WyldFyre
oh my God she's a dragon
Heatwave raised her haha
Rapton reminds me of someone...
YES SHE DOES REALLY HAVE KT
Hehe WyldFyre is just a little guy
Episode 8;
Lava dragons hehe.
OOH how she's raised. Can only the leader speak?
Interesting.
I wonder how she got her powers then
Yeah she's like like a young adult. Ughhh time works differently in realms but nwo they're all kne holy shit this tkmeline is so confusing
"An outlander?!"
Dude, he acts like he just did drugs in front of the police
Right right, she's impulsive but not stupid. I apologize for my previous statement. She seems survived this long, she'll be fine. She may not be book smart but she's not a fool.
"Oh good. A ghost."
IS THST MASTER WU?
I love kai
Well once the world's merged laws broke.
Percival, haha. I love him. It's more of a he's so me guys.
Thespian haha
they're so funny they're like funny (claws of imperium)
"Percival is like Red Son but powerless and in a cult" I- you're-
That's not even the point my dear.
Is it raining outside?
Oh. It is.
Episode 9:
Wu and Lloyd training??? Nice I like to see it.
I think this is a crime though...
MELVIN
Percival winning andbshdjdjd
He's so me j want hjm to be happy
If he dies I'm crying
"And yet a child brought this beast to me on his toy hoverboard" YEAH THATS RIGHT HES GREAT
I fucking knew it was wu this man never shuts up/ hj /lh
Dude how do they not see them
Bombs are bad for hearing.
DRAGON PSYCHOLOGIST
Zane ZANE MY BOY
Okay so the merge was years ago.
But how many because it's not clear
HAHA
Episode ten:
Don't you dead name my girl.
Now we're missing Jay and Cole... okay.
Got it
I don't know her name but I know it was said earlier.
Lloyd falling down the stairs is amazing.
Sora and Arin are smart.
What the hell is that ball. It's funny I don't swear this much I'll
Oh oh jts telepath
Lloyd becomes God from the power /hj
DUDE IS ON AN ACID TRIP.
HE REALLY BECAME GOD
Lloyd's has became God so many times before but it never stayed.
I want Percival back
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kozykricket · 3 months ago
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VENT TIME WOAHH
holy shit am i just gonna never do anything? that i want to do?
because i really cant shake the scaredness of starting shit? and of trying new things? my avoidance is also quite just, annoyed at learning things with. effort n practice
and im convinced im just broken and unfixable in that department. that only a mythical gift could cure me of
but no, what i have to do is just do stuff without deliberating on it? thats
fuckin.. dumb
but also like, then i ask myself.. do i even give a crap about doing any of that? i dunno. maybe id just rather live a life where i dont chase any dreams. i dont think i want that, but it does seem easier. i want a life i… no, i dont know what i want. if i have dreams, i dont even know what they are. theres too many ways to live my life, and so rather than pick one, im picking none of them and all of them, at the same time
just
god. i hear advice to try new things, to just say fuck it. and i feel it! i know it to be true! but i just Cannot Give a Damn to do shit myself when . the prospect of starting things is like, the worst feeling in the universe. and where my motivation just lacks to consistently care for things
theres so much i care about, that i want to share and… make tangible in more ways than just rambling about it. ive wanted to for the past damn 6 years of my life. but…
i dont know. i just dont know. what am i even seeking in terms of a response? i clearly dont take advice. i hear advice or encouragement but it just ends up falling flat. all types - logical, positive, negative, whatever. i know i have potential. i know i can do it. i know its within my grasp. but
is it truly
i mean sure, yes it is. of course it is
but is it?
i just .. cant imagine having to go through all the stuff id have to go through if i actually committed to trying the things i wish to try. thats like,
lots
but i mean i do lots for other things!!! difference is i either absolutely Need to be doing those / am being told to
or it feels morally right
but maybe its also against my morals to not live to my potential!
but maybe the fear of being stuck deliberating on stuff forever, is also what keeps me stuck. the fear of how dumb my brain is. of not being able to control my motivation
anyways, best case is. ill just wait. ill wait for life to hit me really hard with a frying pan over my head. i know its coming. i just need to be hit hard enough. no im not gonna take this into my own hands. id much rather wait until regret approaches. i dont know
an object at rest stays at rest, and no one will change that except me. so no one will change that. im of the opinion that ill never be fixed and never start anything
no i dont want help. its fruitless. you really cant get to me. genuinely. you cannot. ive been encouraged so positively by extremely lovely people. it doesnt help.
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creampuffqueen · 1 year ago
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Ranking 'GUTS' by Olivia Rodrigo
holy shit guys i've been listening to this on REPEAT for DAYS now i'm in love with this album
so i thought i'd do a quick ranking <3
bad idea, right? - OUGHHHH i love this. obsessed with the beginning where you can hear the knocking and she does this breathy little 'hey' that makes me crazy. also it's just a fucking bop. yes queen hell yeah sleep with your ex (this does NOT apply to any of my irl friends none of y'all should get back with your exes)
making the bed - i relate to this a concerning amount, actually. feeling so tired of your own life but you can't complain really because you did this yourself, this is what you wanted!!! AGHGHGHGHGHG
all american bitch - HER VOICE AT THE BEGINNING. her voice is actually beautiful. it's so soft and airy and i'm obsessed with it. and then she's just screaming and that's too relatable tbh
ballad of a homeschooled girl - i'm not homeschooled and i think my social skills are adequate but i still fucking adore this song. it goes so hard
get him back! - loving the double meaning of the title. get back with him but also get him back for all the shit he put you through. she's so real for this
love is embarrassing - she's so right!!! it really is!!! also a huge bop
pretty isn't pretty - ITS IN MY PHONE ITS IN MY HEAD ITS IN THE BOYS I BRING TO BED!!!! she's so right it's all so fucked up!!! you'll never ever be good enough and it SUCKS you can't do ANYTHING ABOUT IT
vampire - once again, HER VOICE. it's so good in this. song got a lil tiktokified but it's okay bc the whole thing is a really good song
lacy - good but i will say the comparison of 'skin like puff pastry' does not do well for my head lmao. i don't think you want skin like puff pastry. but how her voice is so soft for this whole thing just sends me into the astral plane. i'm reading this as a song about beauty standards and anyone who is saying this is about her specifically liking girls needs to stop. let's quit speculating on celebrities' sexualities please. but otherwise a good song
logical - good. really good. i like it a lot, it's just not on the same level as the others i like
teenage dream - WHAT IF I DONT GET BETTER???? too real
the grudge - eh. not my fav. also don't like how everyone thinks this is about taylor swift. can we pleaseeeee stop digging into celebrities' personal lives and pitting them against each other?? just stop
overall suchhh a fucking good album. even the songs low on the list i still scream along to. no skips!!!!
0 notes
archivallyfound09 · 3 years ago
Text
I Am Good, I’m VERY Good. pt. 14
We are gettin near the end here folks…it’s been a ride!
Pairing: Jake “Hangman” Seresin x Reader, Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Reader
Warnings: Swearing, suggestive comments, SPOILERS for Top Gun Maverick (if you haven't seen it, go watch and come back, I'll wait.)
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Once you could breathe again, the logic part of your brain snapped back into action. Your helmet hit the windshield on your left, and you groaned.
“Hangman,” you radioed up to only him, your voice shaky and quiet. You could practically hear the smirk in his voice, clouded only by the adrenaline to get to Maverick and Rooster, if they were still alive.
“Yes, darlin’?”
“WHY THE FUCK AM I IN A PLANE?!”
He laughed so hard you could see his shoulders shaking. He shook his head and his laugh continued, coming out in little breathless bits.
“Well, sweetheart, I think it’s because you crawled in.”
———-
You realized very quickly you did not enjoy flying over large expanses of eerily calm ocean water. The blue stretched out to the horizon on every side of you, the aircraft carrier long behind you- not that you could turn and see that far back anyway.
“I’ve got a ping,” you said over the comms. You could hear Simpson screaming to get your asses back down now, but Bates calm voice was the one who answered your radio.
“What’re you seeing up there?” In the same breath, you saw Rooster’s tracer appear on your navigation system, you heard Hangman yell in surprise. You tapped your screen, fully anticipating this be a search and rescue on the ground. When the beacon moved, you heart pounded in your ear.
“THEY’RE IN A FUCKING DINOSAUR,” Hangman dropped a wing to circle back and lock onto the last offending Su-57. You blinked and wanted to rub your eyes.
“Is that a Tomcat?!” You asked incredulously. Hangman laughed again.
“What do you say we help these boys out?” You nodded and switched into strike mode. You quickly got a hang of the system and started hunting for the shot. You got a target lock and heard the high-pitched scream of the system and everything started to fade out. The noise of the engine dulled, Hangman yelling at you to take the shot quieted, the air rushing past you froze.
Everything fell silent and you blinked slowly, focusing your eyes and slowing your breath. You let out a controlled exhale, your hand minutely adjusting your guide joystick. Your finger rested on the trigger and you took in another deep breath, completely stilling yourself and exhaled again, gently squeezing the little red button. You heard the click and felt the shift of the missile firing beneath you.
Suddenly, all the sounds rushed back in. You heard Hangman almost hoarse yelling at you to take the shot, the rattle of the plane was overwhelming, the sound of the missile screamed towards its destination. You didn’t move, your eyes trained on the target until you saw the collision, the Su-57 quickly tumbling out of the sky in a fiery mess. It was only then you came to.
“Holy shit,” you breathed to yourself. You heard Hangman repeat the sentiment, a bit louder than you and then he pulled up, eye-level with Maverick and Rooster in their museum relic. You saw his smirk and salute reflected above him in the windshield.
“Ladies and gentlemen, this is your savior speaking!” You saw Maverick and Rooster laugh, the two incredibly grateful to see some back up.
“Thanks, Hangman- how’d you get little razor blade up in the sky again?” you heard Maverick comment, a combination of shock and impressed filled his laugh.
“She just jumped right in, sir.”
You could see Maverick’s smile as you heard him in chuckle in your headphones. “Welcome back to the skies, Razor! Hell of a shot. Now let’s go home.” Hangman flashed the other pilots a thumbs up and started the trek back to the aircraft carrier.
“Hey Hangman,” you ventured after a few minutes of trying to comprehend what had just happened. He titled his head back in your direction, waiting for you continue. You took a deep breath in, trying to calm yourself. “Can you crash the plane?”
You visibly saw Hangman stiffen in confusion, so you quickly continued, “Simpson’s gonna have my ass and I’m gonna get dishonorably discharged and lose my job any way so, dying in a firey crash is looking preferable.” Hangman threw his head back in laughter, leading you straight in towards the carrier that started to appear in the distance.
“No can do, little lady. You saved this mission, you get to deal with the consequences.” You let out a frustrated sigh and leaned back into your seat, ripping off your mask as you started your descent down onto the floating tarmac.
——
Hangman was quick to stand up in the cockpit as he opened the top shield, cheering and holding up his helmet. You watched him with a proud smirk on your face. You were starting to come around to the fact that you had actually just done that and you had done it because of him.
You were lost in thought and hadn’t noticed Hangman motioning an arm to you, the flight crew below cheering loudly at the success of the mission. You looked up at him as he hopped down below you, giving high fives and hugs. He looked up at you with something unrecognizable in his gaze, you felt the pink start to travel up your cheeks.
As you unbuckled and stood, swinging a leg out of the cockpit, you caught Rooster’s eye as he descended the same way. He gave you a nod of appreciation and you nodded back- you both shared an understanding unspoken between you.
As your feet felt for the ladder beneath you, you felt hands slapping your legs and then back with celebration. Hangman waited until you had both feet on the ground and turned around before he engulfed you in the biggest bear hug you had ever experienced. You laughed and held on to him like your life depended on it. He said something as he pulled away slightly, but you couldn’t hear him over the din around you. You both smiled and he pulled you back in for another hug.
As the team started to make their way over to you with Rooster and Maverick in tow, you suddenly were aware that Hangman had lifted you off your feet and swung you around. You laughed, your helmet almost colliding with him. You saw Rooster get closer and you practically jumped on him, arms around his neck.
“I told you to come back asshole!” You laughed and he hugged you just as tight as Hangman had.
“I did come back!” He pulled back and looked at you incredulous. You shook your head, slugging him in the arm with your fist and helmet.
“No, I had to go out and get your sorry ass and bring it back here!” You both laughed and he hugged you again with one arm, the other connecting forearms with Hangman over your head.
“I do believe it was me that saved your ass…” Maverick started laughing and putting an arm around your shoulders.
“After I saved yours!” Rooster challenged back, smirking. The rest of the team circled around and, for just a moment, you wished you could freeze time on this moment.
———
“Razor sharp, right?”
You turned your head slighting to locate the voice and the footsteps getting closer to you. You were sitting on the top deck, feet out in front of you, leaning back on your hands enjoying the view as you headed home.
“….because,” the voice continued, and Hangman took a seat next to you, “watching you up there was insane. I’ve flown with some crazy WSO’s but you just- you snapped into some other world.”
You shrugged, and closed your eyes, leaning your head back, and letting out a small hum. The sunset felt warm on your face. You could feel Hangman’s eyes on you as you let out a “hmm?” He didn’t react.
You opened your eyes and turned to look at him. “What?” You questioned, eyebrows starting to furrow . He laughed and shook his head, looking down and rubbing the back of his neck. He then stretched out his arm.
“You’re incredible,” he said, staring out at the ocean and then turning back to you. “I mean it. You had one chance and, you obliterated it.” You heard all the sincerity in his voice and it made your stomach flutter. You were grateful to have helped, but this praise was uncomfortable for you- it was just a job.
“My god, Hangman, is that admiration I see on your face? For a woman?” You teased, leaning a shoulder into his and he laughed, nodding his head again.
“I think it may be. Don’t tell any one-“
“Reputation. Right, got it.” You gave him a wink and he laughed, putting an arm around your shoulders. You let the wave of calmness sweep over you as you sat in a comfortable silence. You knew the adrenaline crash was coming soon. You were just waiting for it all to hit. As you felt your eyelids start to droop, Hangman stood up.
“Come on, you’re on the edge of the crash,” he took your hand and led you towards your cabin. You tried to protest, fits of energy still pumping through your system. He laughed and hoisted you up over his shoulder.
“Let’s go, chair force- you’ve had enough excitement for the day!” You fought against his his grip, but he refused to let you move until he dropped you on your bunk. You immediately tried to jump up, not wanting to sleep or rest. You wanted to run, scream, dance- then the wall hit you.
“There it is,” Jake said more to himself than anything, as you accepted your fate and sat back down on the bed. He sat next to you and you leaned your head against his shoulder, almost instantly falling asleep. Jake chuckled and placed a kiss on the top of your head. He opened his mouth to say something, but you were already passed out next to him.
------
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10
Part 11
Part 12
Part 13
Part 14
Part 15
Part 16
Part 17
Part 18
Part 19
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sugar-petals · 4 years ago
Text
Group Sex With SuperM
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SUMMARY: creating a group chat is all it takes.
↳ A/N. yep, we’re going there. 
words. 14k
WARNINGS ⚠️ friends to lovers hc, porn with plot, idol au, sex w/ all members individually and together, dom/sub dynamics, corruption kink, sexting, blowjobs & cunnilingus, gaping, graphic, pegging, bondage, light foot fetish, sex toys, spitroasting (m receiving), brat taming, dick riding, protected sex, doggystyle, cuddling aftercare
curious about an eightsome are we
understood
how’s the state of things then?
last september you decided to open an entire group chat just for planning your juicy sexual activities together
and oh lord is it active
and full of ideas
and explicit videos
and emojis
and excitement
yesterday taemin sent a clip of lusciously covering himself in champagne foam for you
wearing close to nothing
in fact just a piece of gauze, a snake-shaped necklace, and probably a bit of perfume
oh boy
watching that was an out-of-body experience for sure
the entire chat basically imploded with reactions
but hey hey
not so fast
we need to go through everything from the start
to see how all these utterly historic events happened to unfold
so where did all that come from?
first off 
befriending super m outside work (eating together, fooling around, bingwatching stuff, you know)
...means there’s no point nor chance in having a permanent favorite with a group like this
every member truly is the creme de la creme
super m is the package of the entire packages
they are so legendary you can bias each member for one day of the week 
and never run out of that pure bliss
in fact 
you all agreed to do exactly that on a regular basis to get to know each other casually
it just naturally happened
seven days seven members that’s just logical
you can’t always hang out together in full attendance so you split up your times and set specific days
you change that routine very often depending on your individual moods
but it usually goes like this because you want to develop closer bonds with them one-on-one
so this is how it ends up
mondays you work out with xuxi. oh, that sexy smiley man. his body is the ultimate bomb. is there something better than doing sit-ups next to him? anybody’s sports motivation would go through the roof. and if there’s someone you call to share a pile of food with? it’s just gotta be him. being with yukhei is self-care.
tuesdays, you visit ten to check out his latest dance moves. and: to have a huge cuddle session with the cats. sometimes, you watch whatever series you’re in the mood for. it’s always a time to slow down and mend your sore muscles from monday anyway. you think ten is so interesting and talented, and super pretty, truly one of a kind.
on wednesdays jongin and you often end up on long midnight walks with the dogs or you both look after his cute nieces. meeting up at the river han is a staple, you get ice cream and snacks. you adore kai because he’s a sweetheart and steadfast person, and admittedly... so damn hot, holy hell. being with him makes you feel great.
thursday is baekhyun day and full of cheeriness as you’d expect. long hours of gaming, cheeky skinship, banter, and pizza eating await you at his apartment. you adore this mochi for his everything, he makes you laugh uncontrollably so much. sometimes, you also comfort him when he doesn’t feel good about himself or exhausted from practice. he will sing anything you want, baekhyun is like your personal 24/7 radio station.
fridays it’s time for the studio. mark is crafting his most fire bars and loves to have you around there. you inspire him a lot. he’s just completely astounding and the sweetest to you. friday most people would go clubbing, but super m just has to meet up in the studio. no paparazzi, and the music is obviously danceable. i’m telling you: this mob can jop, duh.
saturday is for handsome taeyong who loves coming to your home. cooking, organizing, doing the laundry, and browsing youtube together is the best thing. taeyong is the shyest goodest boy and a great listener. he gives great advice and is the epitome of respectful. you just vibe very well together.
sunday you dedicate to taemin. you watch artsy films, experiment with outfits, and he plays the piano for you so expertly. man, you are lucky. he’s like a fairy to you, and a connoisseur, a mythical figure almost. since he’s a newly-found cat dad, you easily fill your day playing with the most interesting kitten that is lee kkoong. sometimes, you even meet shinee members dropping by.
so yes this is what paradise looks like
and they all love to engage with you in their own way and you develop favorite ways to spend time, they put so much effort into this
it goes without saying that you all realize how hard you’re crushing as the weeks pass
like can you imagine
all the hormones i swear
you’ve already been joking to them that you have seven boyfriends some months ago
well the prophecy is fulfilled faster than you can blink
when you meet up as eight for a movie night at baekhyun’s, the atmosphere feels pretty frisky
because lucas is sending you ten thousand glances and certainly nobody misses that
if this guy is laughing at your every word i mean
meanwhile taeyong is having a nervous meltdown at your every comment about the movie, it’s ridiculous, he’s smitten as fuck, he looks at you like you’re an actual goddess
mark keeps on making glimmering eyes at you as well, and he asks you if you want popcorn every two minutes
baekhyun is all curled up close to your lap and not even watching the movie because his face is almost nuzzled into your sweater for fuck’s sake
taemin has spent the entire preperation in complete frenzy making sure there are scented candles everywhere and the snacks are exquisite and costly. mother taemresa? at full throttle. he even used his own damn credit card.
meanwhile kai suffers from his fidgety legs, constant hair fixing and even more inability to concentrate on the movie 
because damn, he knows he wants your attention. he literally came around with the tightest shirt he owns so there’s that. you can see every little muscle doing its thing when he does as much as breathe. kai is now well aware he came to impress. it won’t take him a lot to realize he wants to be even closer to you than doing midnight walks.
ten is so firmly snuggled up next to you, he might as well be your cat himself. if ten starts acting like a clingy feline instead of being in roast mode, you know he’s lovestruck i’m telling ya
needless to say
the mood in the room is hard to ignore
hell there are romance candles everywhere all those hecking rose fumes are to blame
surprise surprise all the members try to sit as close as possibly to you the more the movie progresses
even abandoning the couch and seats to sit on the ground in front of you instead
“you want popcorn?”
“like some more popcorn?”
“here, have my popcorn!“
“more popcorn?”
“hey do you want popcorn?”
from all sides, constantly
the m in super m stands for making sure you have popcorn
you never run out
like when the leading lady is pulling out a cigarette in those old hollywood flicks and at least twenty guys are scurrying to offer a lighter
i’m exaggerating but
nobody even knows what kind of movie they’re watching tonight though
the elephant in the room is trumpeting too loud to understand the dialogue
you’re surrounded by seven big ole hotties who have fallen for you
it was inevitable
it’s more than clear to everyone that they all like you and you couldn’t be any more fluttered yourself
let the hunger games begin
i’m jopping i mean i’m joking
this is not the wwe
it’s pretty clear to the boys that if they fight you’re gonna be so unhappy and your quality time together is ruined
you adore them all, and they’d be regretful about hurting their own bonds 
and anyway
if it came down to it and the bad blood was really escalating um...
...ten would destroy all of the competition
there’s no denying
by the simple virtue of his badassery and winning disease
quickly reducing all his opponents to a pile of dust so fine-grained, the great freddie mercury himself would resurrect to sing the soundtrack in the background and pump his fist
imagine that. superm actually being gladiators i mean wasn’t that the entire jopping mv
baekhyun would try to pull the leader authority card and use his hapkido martial arts skill but ten would obliterate him anyway so
even if taemin put on a dark robe and drew a salt circle to summon a million snakes from hell, ten would win the fight to a fault
but that’s too apocalyptic and outside of that thought experiment the boys are actually kinda shy so... let’s scratch that
there are seven days of the week with good reason 
you ease the uncertainty and tension by saying you’d truly fail as a tv bachelorette
everyone understands that deciding would be impossible and cheating is shit
why give someone a rose and break 6 hearts when you can hand out a whole damn bouquet
it’s more stylish my friend
and for what reason would ten want to face off against taemin and his army of snakes in the first place. they’re ten’s greatest inspiration
nor does kai have any tighter shirts 
he already ran out, he brought his A game from the get-go
on top of that the popcorn is empty there’s no more to offer
so you remain with the idea to just keep your daily routine
xuxi monday, ten tuesday and so on
keeps everything in order
it’s fair
plus it doesn’t mess with their schedules
usually unless a big award show is coming up but that can be re-planned in advance as well
you know... things can develop in their own timing with each member
it’d be awkward to expect everyone to be on the same stage at once
baekhyun is comfortable with all kinds of back hugs while taeyong and taemin are still completely flustered and turn all wobbly at just a greeting wave
you know what i mean
it’s already clear everyone loves you very differently 
some members are more straightforward, others take it slow, it’s just a normal thing
that’s when the group chat is born
it’s still very sfw 
compared to how explicit it’ll be in the future ahem
and everyone is overcautious with writing something except baekhyun, the eternal extrovert
for now you keep each other updated on how it’s all going with trivial details
earlier you just had individual chats and baekhyun arranged the group meetings since he knows the schedule best
now it’s all in one spot so that works
everyone’s curiosity is quenched at least a little bit
and they see each other anyway and put their heads together
baekhyun will be the most open about how far your skinship slowly develops followed by lucas and kai who oggle each other in their usual tom and jerry manner
which you have an eye on
you tell the members something very important for when they’re envious
or feel the need to one-up or catch up
it’s the sign to get closer to you and that they’re ready for taking another step. that’s literally what jealousy is all about
that advice helps them out a lot actually
kai takes that to heart in particular because he knows he’s prone and feels bad about it
and they also learn from ten who carries a quiet happiness with confidence that doesn’t need comparison, but he can also talk very honestly about how he’s standing with you to the point
ten knows how it’s done
as expected of such a competent man
like he’s kissed your hands very lightly but he doesn’t feel the need to show it off all day
and he also leads by example together with taemin and taeyong how one can give compliments even when not being involved in something 
“you’re looking adorable together“ as taemin would often say about you hanging out with kai or baekhyun
a lot of praise culture is developing in the group chat
you like to see it 
and now for the other elephant in the room
as for who will ask you to sleep with him first
(and mind you at this point they’re all walking around with condoms in their backpacks and jackets)
believe it or not
after the finishing touches on his latest mixtape (oh yes), and those tracks have you feeling some kind of way oh shit, mark gathers all his courage
yes it’s mark lee 
literally he steps into the blaze of bravery of jongin when he first put on a crop top
and gets out a little “can we... some time... you know...” after you’re having some pretzel sticks together and awkwardly sitting around
oh what's gonna happen next huh?
you say you’ve been thinking about it a lot
that he has a great body doesn’t go unseen
and tell him how you imagine it with him
long story short you’ll have your first quickie in the sound booth that night
cutting straight to the chase
him steadily penetrating you from behind, you leaning closely with your back to his chest
just standing and enjoying the rhythm
that dick. is amazing.
oh god, mark lee
long, curved, smooth, a classic
meanwhile your fave rapper is definitely going through it
his arms tell you everything
that’s an embrace for the books
he’s hugging you like his life depends on it
you can just take in how he’s been showering twice today this guy is clean as fuck he smells so good
getting off from shampoo and fabric softener is not what you expected but it definitely makes you clench
you both know he’s not gonna last for more than six minutes and that’s ok
that’s a lot of long-held frustration released into that condom
and a lot of passion put into how he puts his guitar fingers to work on your clit afterwards
jimi ‘lee’ hendrix has arrived
oh yeah mark, you fucking treat, fuck it up
that way you won’t last long either since you guide his finger tips to your favorite spot and the motherfucker completely goes for it
“like this, like, um?”
and he goes off with the wrist
oh shit
it’s all kept so short and simple and you’re on the oldest mustard-colored studio couch that ever existed but mark lee is mark fucking lee nothing can obstruct his quality
like this guy has some serious skills with the angles
that orgasm is gonna get some moans you didn’t know you were capable of out of you
never wasting time, that guy is he
mark definitely fucks like he raps. fast and good
you cool down together looking each other in the eyes, forehead to forehead, for like fifteen minutes, and you give each other little chaste kisses all over your faces and he melts every time
your little rendezvous was definitely so needed 
you ask if you can bring some vibes to play around with and a watermelon next time
you don’t have to ask twice
mark is so damn happy
and the timing was right
straightforward and spontaneous. that definitely works well with mark
no complaints, you go home feeling comfortably refreshed. you’ve told him he could tell the others or wait to do it, this is up to his comfort because he is shy
neither happens
after just one glance at him the next day while the group is doing a photoshoot
baekhyun already knows mark slept with you 
he just knows
and makes a loud “ohh wow, you did it” noise
ten takes two only glances to understand what’s going on too
mark nods and the whole group is highstrung for the entire day
like a hive of bees oh yes
kai is massively proud of raising mark so well but also really surprised
unlike taemin who calmly advised mark on many things in advance
guess where mark’s fingering skills originate from
he took some secret pointers from the king 
taeyong is shook at his rap buddy’s singleminded grit to just spontaneously ask you
while baekhyun...
is keeping it together repeating the anti-jealousy mantra you gave him in his mind
“jealousy means to get closer jealousy means to get closer jealousy means to get closer jealousy means to get closer....“
it makes him realize oh god he really wants to be inside of you badly as well
you ain’t dumb, you see his change of tone from cute to sexy in the group chat even if he might not notice
baekhyun is trying extra hard to make you react to him
he posts so many cute selfies with kissy faces
needless to say taeyong’s time slot gets postponed to next thursday while you visit baekhyun this evening
it works for taeyong because he still needs to think some things through
the news overwhelmed him a little and he is shy about meeting up but that’s not a problem for you
and it’s better to get together with your mochi sooner because you both know there’s a lot of banging to do
like seriously
your mood tells you that candy’s on the menu today
oh yeah. it’s time to be all over your clingy lil’ honey bunny 
there’s not much endless wooing involved it goes to the point very fast after you arrive at his home
you just wanna stop pretending and fuck like animals and see his brain melt from it
remember how baekhyun once said he doesn’t fancy nice girls
that’s what he meant by that
mattress earthquake
he wants you fully riled up with arousal and addicted to touching and grabbing him
yeah baekhyun gets off on your desire
that’s not hard to accomplish when he makes big puppy eyes and puts his tongue on your neck
with that gomez addams shit... kissing up your arm and then popping off as soon as he gets there
congrats morticia
here is a man who can handle ya
he’s being so slobbery and moany about it that it knocks the breath out of you 
that shit is so good
baekhyun is not just a pro at giving head my friend it’s also giving neck
and unlike mark, may god have mercy on you, baekhyun keeps on going and going and kissing and kissing and he wants to lick up all of you so bad 
we know how needy and stamina-heavy this fella is
baekhyun is super m’s most insatiable member by fucking far
he’s like just give it to me and you’re like ok here we go
this guy is burning up oh god
that’s an evening of ten thousand positions, fearless cumplay, and a lot of face-sitting
super m’s most unleashed tongue right here
thank god you worked on your fitness with xuxi otherwise you couldn’t do this
he’s moaning in some harmonic scales or something it’s a whole concert
baekhyun is fully at it with you in every room of his flat with his whole neck and underarms looking mighty veiny
yeah he even carries you around to make it short and simple he’s one impatient bun
he can lift up sehun bridal style so no worries
mochi is smol and thin but he won’t drop you i promise
he’s fueled by horny boyfriend hormones and wants to give you the greatest night of all nights
and hit all the amazing spots
baekhyun aims to make your pussy lips throb and fall completely in love with him
and the bridge of his nose if you get what i’m saying
he’s also versatile in his clothing choices
if you say keep your nerdy glasses on, oh yeah they stay on
just a little challenge to see if you can ride him hard enough to see them fall off
and that dick is not some extra long lasso mark lee calibre
so he can really bend it more and thrust with ease at many angles
talking about mark
he regrets not asking you earlier but you tell baekhyun that this way was much better because you unceremoniously skipped to the fucking instead of messing around
if it wasn’t for mark’s courage to break the ice even with a choppy sentence 
you’d still be awkwardly looking each other in the eyes while munching pizza
all hail mark lee nervous legend
this way, baekhyun goes all out with fewer restraint and the burden of being first with making the impression that comes with it
we all know he’s too self-conscious for his own mochi good so that’s a better way to start out
this way baekhyun will have sex with you until he’s passed out on his bed
knocking him out like that might as well become your favorite hobby
even minutes after your tongue still feels like it’s knotted together with his honestly, the muscle memory is kicking in
and this must be the most dick thrusts you’ve ever gotten in one night
baekhyun really wants to be all inside you, make you feel him
if the condom broke at least his baby will be easy to identify from day one
it’ll come out and belt a perfect G#5
he gave it all my god you stopped counting the times you came your pussy is just dripping wet it feels crazy
and his voice has become all raspy i—
that was baekhyun’s hardest vocal run yet i swear
the contraception shelf in the convenience store next to his house is close to empty
but there’s no need to buy more
what you two perverts have been up to is enough for comfortably going through 10 years of celibacy
baekhyun is content and sleeps like a baby
you hold your bun for like two hours afterwards and never want to let him go
you are as wobbly as taeyong after getting a head pat from you
and the most well-kissed girl in this city tonight
both sets of lips
what a smoochy boyfriend
you even get the chance to jerk baekhyun off in his half-sleep after he wakes up and asks you to put your hand in his pants
guess who opens his mouth very wide to lick his own semen off your fingers with some really obscene noises
it’s his royal nastiness byun baekhyun 
who sucks your tiddies to drift back into sleep again
with his hands in your pants
god bless this man
the group chat is sending 👀 emojis all the way throughout the night
your boys know love is in the air
they’re loosening up the timing is right again
you send cute smiling emojis 
a bunch of “ahs” and “ohs” come through via voicemail
and lucas even writes: “so who’s next? 😳”
damn
you reply boldly: “the one asking that”
the group chat becomes a buzzing beehive again
from which you extract that kai is also very interested while ten, taeyong and taemin prefer waiting a little more
but this time you don’t switch time slots since you’ll meet xuxi on monday already 
kai wants to set up something nice and prepare the catering and whatnot (alright you rich man)
so it’s gonna be wednesday as usual with him
so far so good that’s the plan
sunday being taemin day, you get together to read and paint and listen to music
you feel like just doing some sensual kissing with him and taemin is very down
yeah baby he is the kissing king, taemin is hot stuff, he knows exactly what he’s doing, those lips are the pillows at the gates of heaven
losing your mind is a staple when you do that with him
just making out on the couch surrounded by the nicest arrangement of pot plants you’ve ever seen while it rains completely relaxes you and the serotonin is off the charts
he holds you so gently and tastes so good
what is it, rose water or something like that
he even put on his coziest sweater so you’ll love leaning against him
TL;DR taemin is the biggest fucking romantic in the history of SM
that was so seductive you’ll be dreaming about it
applause for lee taemin please
perfect contrasting programme: just hours later
yeah here it goes now
monday starts with xuxi stripping more than he usually does 
at the makeshift gym in his room while he’s on the treadmill
with his hair freshly dyed the most himbo shade of blonde ever
and yeah that’s blonde with an e because yukhei is too sexy to be called a blond. what an ugly word to look at
he’s a blondé
so that’s nice
he’s so dtf you just skip the workout 
time for lubed condoms.
i don’t have to tell you that you literally jump on him 
or that you’ll be dealing with super m’s singlemost biggest equipment
he doesn’t even have to drive it home an inch by himself you’re already riding him
he can’t handle all that gear in the first place
because how do you even develop a technique with such an unrealistic dick
hell how do you even exist like that
so it’s clear who’s taking the lead
all he has to do is work that body but it sort of happens on its own
himbo autopilot
you are going hard and chaotic on this man
xuxi doesn’t even know what hit him
he’s so vocal and excited 
you fuck him while he holds you up, get down on several gym benches, have him bend you forward at the bathroom sink... 
...and you attend business in ten’s room on a desk and window sill
because it’s the most silent there and doesn’t disturb xiaojun’s beauty sleep
ten has discreetly ushered you there and preoccupies himself in the kitchen with the cats
he knows how the game is played
either floor ‘em all or always watch out for others
MVP
but you are secretly wondering what ten is plotting because he has some serious self-control and observation skills
given how tidy his room is... whatever his plans are you can look forward to it
xuxi is definitely suffering from your heavy duty cock destruction in the meantime while being in heaven at the same time
that dick is worn out and dripping 
so much bouncing is even gonna make the biggest boy lose it
milking that orgasm out of him is gonna be so gratifying yum
the deep and defeated moans, my god he really surrenders to the pleasure
wow that was almost as to-the-point as studio sex with mark
no idle talk in nct huh
you clean each other all exhausted and then gobble up three bowls of noodles each
then sleep for two hours in each other’s arms
then do a second round because this guy is really getting you going and yukhei wants to live this monday to the fullest
like this man gives you previously unknown levels of energy
must be the blonde hair. it does sexy things when yukhei is twitching
this time it’s a dick blowing festival
oh yeah
the type where you’re so sloppy with your head bops, he doesn’t even know where to put his hands and needs to think emergency thoughts
oh yeah big dicks make for some nice slurpy noises that sound really plump you know what i mean
he’s gonna realize very soon you do this shit for your own entertainment
and get all kinds of squeaks and faces out of him
only little pauses help him keep up the stamina so he asks you to pull off for a bit every two minutes or so
he has to look elsewhere and distract his mind with thinking about washing the dishes
girl... your tongue has this man sweating major bullets
you’re big on the corruption kink are you
once again 
xuxi is gonna be so shaken and pass the fuck out from cumming
and he thought he was a horny guy
his soul must have left his body and that scalp is probably dead
but bleaching was worth it (he looks like a sleeping angel now)
not to mention banging all over the wayv dorm
ten got a preview of what’s expecting him
not that he doesn’t know he reads you well
lucas promises to return the oral favor next monday and finally collapses entirely in the living room wearing only boxers
nothing new for wayv, great sight for you
not a single workout routine has exhausted xuxi this much
he needs 10 hours of sleep to reboot
“she’s so wild 😲😂😍” is gonna be what he’ll summarize it as in the group chat later
first big boy taken down
the second one follows
wednesday is right around the corner 
oh yes
kai definitely goes off with the preparation you are not ready for this spectacle
he redecorated his entire kitchen and bathroom to perfection with flowers, lanterns, dim light, petals, expensive fabrics draped from the ceiling, and there’s a great view on night time seoul
you can tell he’s best friends with taemin
i mean they’re the greatest entertainers of their time of course their taste is great
always going the extra mile
the black, sheer shirt with a deep cleavage that kai put on is nothing short of a treat
is that a lace choker he’s wearing
and his hair is pushed back lord have mercy
you get pretty weak in the knees at that
the catering leaves nothing to be desired either. a full 3-course sicily-style italian meal with 100% organic ingredients and beautiful basil and thyme garnishings
to set the mood afterwards jongin does what he does best
don’t tell me you didn’t see this one coming
just a chair for you, some music, and him
is this like a whole damn private concert?
he has prepared an entire setlist to thrill you with selected styles of dance
even a rendition of salsa, swing, and tango argentino
i’m telling you...
if kim jongin moves his body for you like that you’ll be fucking hooked and honored and not believe your eyes
what a feast
prepare for a serious case of dropped jaw
and jongin being an absolute daredevil dancing incrementally close to your chair
he incorporates all these little moments of skinship
where he strokes your hair, your jaw, or takes your hands
while at the same time he’s completely destroying it on the dancefloor
with those scorching hips and how he works it on the carpet right in front of you
you’re about to fucking melt
what a time to be alive
the sheer shirt’s buttons are holding onto dear life as do his pants
kai’s movements are becoming extremely ecstatic
what a fucking lapdance 2.0
men have clearly evolved otherwise this wouldn’t be happening
kai dances like a king on a stage but jongin? is god-like when he dances with just one person as the audience
shiit
and because he’s very nervous
he work particularly hard to ace it
in his mind he’s already underneath you judging by how he’s moving
...you can definitely fancy a luscious private concert each wednesday
and for designated activities in the bathroom
he even made a whole 5-hour playlist of the finest songs
so he can make you grind on top of him
don’t tell me kai isn’t the master of courting
king of effort
i don’t have to tell you that this is gonna be the most sensual night you’ve ever had
kai will get to know your body very, very well
those hips never stop do they
the fact that thursday is baekhyun day right after this?
wow aren’t you exhausted
the orgasms just seamlessly continue huh
everything goes on like that 
friday you have a toy-filled, passionate evening at the studio with mark who’s doing the most 
let’s say mark just has good ‘vibes’ indeed
this almost gets as messy as your first time with lucas
have fun cleaning up that couch, canada
what a sex marathon
if you don’t have your period
there’s always a lot of action going on 
or actually. you do catch a break for the weekend
saturday you bake delicious, pistacio and pecan-crusted sticky buns with taeyong 
who also shows you the new fledgelings that have hatched in his apartment
so adorable
sunday you endlessly make out with taemin in the sheets who has of course heard of jongin putting on a show
so he dances for you as well and even does the hands-tied criminal choreo in an especially luscious rendition (aka extra heavy breathing and grinding on the floor, and doing splits that almost rip his pants)
oh yes my love
nothing really happens afterwards you just have dinner completely flustered
if lee taemin dances, sex becomes redundant and doesn’t compare anymore
but really now
the slow burn is unbearable with him for fuck’s sake
taemin knows how to work up the seduction bit by bit
you basically masturbate all evening after returning to your house
god. what to do with this guy
on monday you ravage yukhei’s dick and get all that head 
xuxi is a chaotic fella but he keeps his promises
plus you get the best full-body massage of your life
and for the first time pull out your phone to basically livestream yourself riding him
so the whole chat can watch for five minutes
yep. you learned that courage thing from mark lee
the camera work is obviously subpar but the video definitely has maximum effect
kai and baekhyun stream their reaction right alongside your broadcast
“woah woah oh my god oh my god!!”
everyone’s freaking out, everyone stops whatever they’re doing, everyone is glued to their screens, they love your body moving
you’re having a blast 
especially when you stream another round an hour later and lucas holds the camera now
his arm is perfect for that by the way
strong and stable and high up in the air
so you can do your thing on that fat dick with a bonus of the sexiest xuxi moans ever
that deep but soft tone... yukhei really got a perfect groaning voice huh
after getting steamy for almost ten minutes, you get some great close-ups of your pussy after having yukhei pull out mid-romp
because that gape is for the gods
don’t kid yourself with a dick like that inside you’ll be opening a little wider
it looks and feels even better with lucas tracing his long fingers inside of it
with the closeup zooming in even more while he’s putting his thumb on your clit 
mmh that’s good stuff
six very shaky boys are sitting in front of their phones right now being able to look um very deeply inside of you
baekhyun is basically frozen to a statue on the reaction stream and salivates nonstop it’s just running down his neck at this point
his wettest dreams are right in front of him
stretched out pussy all juicy and swollen? baekhyun’s lifeblood. he’s seeing god 
he turns up the brightness of his phone to maximum so he can see every little detail 
remember. this guy loves to be inside of you so obsessively he wants to pay rent to live in there
so he’s appreciating an HD view of his favorite place, really deep and really pulsing and really soaked
yukhei has slathered you in lube and really pushed apart your muscles very gently, no abrasion, you relaxed so nicely around him
it’s feeling good as fuck
kai who’s watching right next to baekhyun just stares with big eyes
every injury he ever got while dancing is suddenly healed 
he’s a new man his spine has put itself together his legs are reborn
taeyong almost falls off his chair when he tunes in
he’s that bewildered
he just types a big WOW and a wall of blushing emojis
the explicit songs he’s been listening to and whatever he’s been rapping about recently are nothing in comparison to this
finally someone climbed up to taeyong’s level of nastiness
and he thought he’d never find someone on eye level
secretly he loves the nice view but he won’t admit how much
meanwhile he will rewatch this over and over for the whole week at least five times a day
and then there’s taemin
| adorable 😊🤗🎀 6v6
| can you put the camera a bit closer again 👉👈
| and turn on the flash if that’s ok 😳
| ah thank you 💟
i don’t know what taemin has seen or heard or experienced in his life and what made him this way but damn he loves that graphic shit
turning on the flash makes even yukhei’s jaw drop and rub your clit even faster
he’s damn proud he could make your pussy open up to him this way as he should be 
cuz he’s really been improving his Big Cock Techniques (BCT)
mark doesn’t write anything but he’s online and streaming so yeah he’s jerking off
with two hands
baekhyun is typing how much he loves the wet sounds and how great the fingering action is
and he’s damn right. telepathy 
that’s your favorite pervert right there yeehaw
in the meantime yukhei’s brain is empty he’s just smiling bright and enjoying the moment and the attention and your body
ten is basically next door because this is the fucking wayv dorm 
you can hear him choke on his coffee and whisper ‘oh my fucking god, oh shit’ to himself
the phone almost topples into the sheets while lucas is putting all those rubs and circles into your clit but the audio is already telling the boys to watch very closely anyway because here it comes
taeyong is probably falling apart by now given how he’s posting a couple fragmented sentences that you try to decipher on yukhei’s phone
until you get close and take up filming yourself again 
so yukhei can make a video with his own phone as well
yep that’s two cameras on you by now not just one
xuxi’s been such a steadfast babe 
and he gets to see the fruits of his work. for one, just how much of an imprint he left with his cock inside you 
and second how hard he can make you cum now
those big fingers are magic on you
taemin gets all the closeups he ever needed from your camera because you hit the zoom even more
yukhei starts kissing you twice
not as carefully as he often would
it’s the really wet and passionate version this time
he films your lower faces as good as he can
those big fucking lips 
they never fail to make you get the hots
they’re really made to do all this are they
his tongue nips into you with extra saliva on board
you suck it into your own mouth and mix it with yours, and gather some more
and slip your tongue above his in return
yukhei makes sure you can hear him swallowing all that warm runny spit and moans into your mouth
guess who just blew one big juicy load into the condom
and he’s not even inside of you
jesus christ yukhei
looks like french kissing is his orgasm button 
you start sucking on his tongue when it slides back between your lips and you make them really tight and puckering
the noise is so delicious
yukhei shoots the rest of his semen into the condom
you go even harder on him, the kiss gets really deep
kai and baekhyun are literally jumping up and down on their beds by now
taemin and mark are sending star-eyed emojis
ten is definitely beating the meat next door
yukhei’s hand is massaging incessantly between your legs
he makes you feel. so. good.
when he retreats from the kiss you’re ready
you can hardly keep the phone stable in your palm
yukhei also points his camera back at your pussy again
and makes sure to catch every contraction
you know an orgasm is good when you’re going all “oh... ohh...”
even taeyong goes online to stream his reaction because you cum so beautifully
he’s actually crying and can’t close his mouth he can’t believe what he’s seeing
your pussy lips are so sloppy and stretched apart and twitching and you make sure the camera catches every bit
it takes almost half a minute until your muscles calm
you tell yukhei to clean it up with those plump lips of his
baekhyun and taemin are violently agreeing with thousands of “YESS EAT UP!!!” and “yes!! 😊♥︎🌹” text bubbles in the chat
your guys are so cute do you realize that
in order to have both hands free, lucas ends his video, puts his phone aside, and is already licking you up like a whole bowl of whipped cream
you keep on streaming on your own phone and brush the hair out of his face
the best part is catching yukhei’s tongue winding between your lips and then spoiling your pussy with big kisses very very slowly as not to overstimulate you
he’s such a fast learner he’s doing it really well
once you’re satisfied and cool off, you stroke the back of his neck and his favorite boyfriend duties are officially on pause
so he can go to pull off the condom and clean himself up, and get ready for bed after a quick mini snack
while you blow kisses into the camera, flirt with all your babes while they flirt back and even bow to you
and film your pussy all swollen and licked up but slowly closing a little bit again, ever so slightly
ten sends two little black hearts and a little “that was the most amazing thing i’ve ever seen thank you 😽”
you make sure taemin gets an extra close view of your clit and taeyong is making high-pitched squealing noises in his reaction video stream
mark goes like “yea that’s the spot!”
kai has joined baekhyun with the mouth and saliva action, they’re both licking their lips all over the place and make lewd lusty faces
they’re literally sucking and eyefucking your pussy through the camera bitch they want it so goddamn bad
oh to have their mouths on you right now to come down from your high and chill
you tell everyone how much you miss them and how badly you want them to be here
and how you want to feel all of them all over, on your skin and inside you
the chat is full of yearning and horny crying emojis now
yukhei helps you clean up the rest while you text how it felt with mark and baekhyun because they wanna know more
you talk about how yukhei’s girth is always rubbing that one spot inside and his breathing changes when it does
and you say you really loved their reactions
the members promise to be careful and discrete when they re-watch the stream and ten also says that if you don’t want it to stay in the chat some day you should never hesitate to delete it
you say no problem boys you should know me inside out, just remember to use head-phones when yukhei starts slurping at the 01:27 min mark
taeyong and mark are losing it at your puns
then you have a glass of water taller than yukhei’s dick and basically dance to the bathroom
lucas talks to the boys with his big ole smile in his pyjamas while you’re busy
oh god he is so shy
but very very blissed out. it really takes only two things to make this man happy. big plates, twitchy pussy.
a truly simple man. you like that
kai is definitely evolving from his teasing yukhei agenda in the meantime
he is sending thumbs up emojis instead of raised eyebrow ones
you lay down in xuxi’s big embrace and say goodnight to your boys
yukhei buries his nose in your hair, and kisses you on the forehead so innocently, taeyong melts in his little video square on screen
taemin is a big fan as well
he’s living true to his “explicit shit and romance” life motto isn’t he
you ask if everyone was enjoying themselves
big positive reactions all over the chat
you coo how you adore them all so much and want more of things like this where everyone is involved
eight people are going to bed very happy today
yukhei waves and baekhyun goes offline as well, as does taeyong who’s beaming
end stream
it was a masterpiece
that mark needs to recover from the very most, his entire bed is full of used tissues
and basically
over the next few hours the chat is losing their minds over and over again
everyone can’t stop gushing and telling you what their favorite part was
kai says how turned on you were was making him hard all night
ten enjoyed the wild kissing part and how wet everything was
naughty boy taemin keeps on talking about how — i quote — your insides are the best ever!! while sending flower emojis
your stream has unleashed a gigaton of sexual energy
and that basically goes on and on
until tuesday arrives
oof 
today’s the day
you know that ten is up to something 
except the little hearts and kiss comment
he hasn’t written much in the chat
oh shit oh shit what is he planning
he truly is a pisces
you know that some epic stuff is about to go down since the cats are with yangyang 
and — what
there’s a large canvas in his room with a piece of cloth to cover it
lord have mercy
he’s bringing the big guns
ten will even hold a little speech on how he got inspiration two weeks ago
only to proceed to unveil the art very shyly
it’s an elaborate pencil drawing standing about as tall as him
immaculately sketched in a realistic way
have a guess what he’s been drawing
exactly right it’s an erotic depiction of you
laying on your back, thighs spread, head thrown back
and to make it mysterious you see more of the legs rather than the crotch area
so whatever or who is giving you pleasure is entirely up to you to imagine to your liking
it’s more about how the person he drew feels lust rather than the onlooker. he drew this for your own enjoyment
he did that very cleverly and classily 
this canvas will be your utmost treasure and get such an intimate spot in your home
it doesn’t take very long until you’re mounting him and get those hips moving in a circle
ten is just full of surprises
you ask if you can photograph the drawing and upload it to the chat
ten is like ohhh!
but why not, now that he thinks about it. he secretly likes praise and visibility for his drawings so much
the post is definitely a success 
lots of exclamation marks and reaction memes for three hours straight
but who would’ve thought otherwise
ten is just massively talented, always on point
and hits the right nerve with his line of work
as your pussy can attest
yukhei is gonna tease in the chat that he heard you in the dorm and that it sounded mega hot wink wink wink
ten writes:
| my tongue hurts 
| let’s do it again next week
| i feel inspired to draw more as well
the chat explodes with hype for another two hours
multiple members come up with their own artistic takes on you
on wednesday kai presents a feral dance he choreographed for the whole morning. showing a representation of what you are to him and what he feels for you
very beautiful
on thursday baekhyun gifts you a deliberately humorous doodle titled mochi mama in the style of i dunno, probably picasso on crack
you have not seen anything like it
it’s gonna make you laugh in sad hours for many days to come
talk about come
baekhyun will have his hands busy in and on you all night
he wants to feel mama mochi and please you and make you smile
try not to climax challenge: failed several times
on friday mark blasts a song he wrote about you as soon as you put your hand bag down in the studio
100% of the lyrics are about how sexy and charming and special you are to him and how infatuated he is and how much he thinks about you all the time and how much you knock him off his feet, and how he has the biggest hots for you, jesus christ
that mark lee canada flow wants to make you fucking nut right then and there
the fandom just got his lit mixtape and he’s already working on another one i guess he sure has enough nsfw inspiration for it
all the more reasons to cum hard on his dick tonight
and make sweet love to that sexy body because mark lee isn’t the only one with the hots
then comes saturday
taeyong day
the tension is rising
you’re at his place
the sweet boo comes to put some chirping fledgelings into a towel on your lap as usual
there’s a big crispy lasagna baking in the oven, dripping with cheese and sauce with the most full-bodied herbal mix ever
damn tasty 
gordon ramsay would rate this particularly well on twitter
honestly man
we all know gordon ramsey would like taeyong’s dishes
the evening passes as it always does
so he didn’t jump on the bandwagon that’s interesting
it’s almost as if the stream didn’t happen or anything
just as you expected
taeyong doing his own thing and being just very consistent makes him so sexy and desirable to you it’s hard to explain
you just like his style of going about things you know
he’s very receptive to your impulses
you figure it’s up to you to make some steps
so when he opens the fridge to pull out a self-made, perfectly swirly vanilla-chocolate vortex pudding that’s just at the right temperature, you can’t help but hit on him like the world is ending 
but as you learned from taeyong’s example: your way
you ask him to open his mouth and maneuver spoon after spoon of pudding into it for him to deliciously savor it
giving him compliments on always making your day along with that
that bowl is empty very fast my loves
and taeyong very happy
oh yeah he was enjoying that
with his eyes closed
oh fuck
the sexual tension could rip the air in half like a mark verse
you decide to sit down on his lap all nonchalant and finish your own pudding... more than suggestively
taeyong is basically holding his breath at this point he’s a puddle
you tell him he can put his hands on your waist if he wants to
no answer needed his fingers are already on their way
you can hear how his heart is approaching a techno music BPM
at this point all you can do anymore is lean in to whisper if he likes to go to the bedroom with you
he can keep the apron on
taeyong tastes deliciously of pudding aye
you roll around in the sheets kissing so heavily
this is pure indulging you just feel how you’re sleeping with a chef
who happens to have the veiniest dick of all time
you’re definitely filled up well
sliding up and down on him deliciously for twenty minutes
really slowly and hugging each other tightly
and saying romantic things
that’s the good life
by the end of the evening the group chat gets a picture of taeyong’s world class lasagna 
and a ‘very random’ shaky picture of your hand in his hair
which baekhyun instantly comments as:
“now tyong knows how great you taste as well 🤓😁🤗“
yukhei agrees wholeheartedly and ten starts making baby don’t stop puns
kai is totally in love with the quality food 
baekhyun voices his interest in making more pictures of that kind with you. you know, hand in the hair, no big deal
kai says hurry up with it hyung, all the hair dye makes you balder every minute
baekhyun reprises his doodling and now draws a couple
it’s mama mochi with byun baldhyun
“this will be the next selca“
glorious
you’re having a damn good time
but later you feel something is going on
the whole week passes and taeyong seems to be brooding
next saturday he has a hard time expressing himself when he comes to your home 
you ask if he’s not comfortable having more sex or if he struggles with the relationship setup
taeyong says it’s not that but can’t explain any further
you go on a whim and ask if it’s a confession he has on his mind
bingo
“taeyong... if you think i’ll judge you for something. remember we’re only doing this since a couple weeks. it’s hard to know how the person really reacts if you don’t know each other inside out“
he is still hesitant
you ask him if it’s something taboo
“yeah...”
you thought so. taeyong is the least basic person you know along with taemin
guess why these two are saved for last my dear readers
you tell him that how he’s in his own lane is what you appreciate him for in the first place, it’s why you’re here with him, you love your duckling chef so much
if he wants a different kind of sex that’s perfectly him
he looks relieved and understood hearing that
and confesses that yeah... he wants to go a little kinkier with you
now you know why taeyong was acting with so much restraint
and put all of his feelings and sensuality into food pretty much
in fact the kinky sex has already started whether you noticed or not
indirectly. as in, the dynamic
truth is he wants to be a service sub
oh yeah lemme introduce you to some new things
service subs like to really cater to their dominants and fulfill their every wish not just in bed, but around the house as well
and there’s even more to it as you will soon discover talking to him about it
an apron is only the start
in case you have been living under a rock
taeyong’s duality is nuts 
he’s a completely shy mega pervert
it’s not a secret that this guy wants hardcore bdsm torture sex
you letting all that aggression loose on him for fucking sport
and being cold to him
with a bit of soft domme action as the perfect balance 
yep 
he wants you to take him out and take care of him at the same time
he’s perfectly aware he’s among the freakier and more deprived members
even ten is just casually freaky and just open for a lot of things. taeyong is deliberate
and pretty deep in the femdom community as far as his browser history is concerned
we all know assertive partners are his thing
but he’s afraid he’ll get you into something that’s a lot of responsibility
you say mister i’m familiar with your interests 
my dear you never made them hard to guess
you tell him it’s no problem for you to give it to him raw
you’ll be doing disgusting things to him that sexy face will straight up drown 
did you know?
our dear boy taeyong loves it when you spit in his mouth and do virgin roleplay
if he asks you to break him don’t be surprised
he wants to release control completely
he goes by all the rules
and i guarantee. when he comes along your dominatrix mood is gonna skyrocket he just brings that shit out in people
his mere naked body is just... how not to go nuts on him how he wants it
long story short tied up taeyong head to toe ends up immortalized as a vertical photograph
the group chat is overwhelming your notifs with wide-eyed emojis and all caps
amping up the game a little more each day are we
without even trying. hell, this just happened
where this is going is gonna be fun
sunday goes down with you grinding yourself all over taemin but you’re both clothed
you grab the back of his neck to lean in for kisses over and over and over
yes kisses are key
if not the favorite thing he does
let this sink in. if taemin overwhelms a little kitty with a hundred thousand smooches, just how kissy is this guy gonna be 
and have fun teasing his erection through his pants
lee taemin a squirmy mess? hell yeah
in classic fashion he will spend the most time of the evening on his knees getting slapped around in several blindfolds, harnesses, and wrist ties
his fantasy finally came true
i repeat what taemin has been dreaming of is reality
thank god for taeyong having you second guess his private tastes. otherwise you would not be on your dom grind now
taemin even goes as far as ordering lingerie for your encounters — to wear himself because he’s taemin
satin and silk blouses he already has in his wardrobe so there’s no shortage
i don’t have to tell you that you can spend hours grinding on his cock in a room full of candles while taemin is in head-to-toe bondage
that’s his idea of a good time and hell you are really treated to perfect eye candy, taemin’s hotness will bring your pleasure to a new level
the group chat will definitely love your photography taken from your sessions
taemin is just an utter no-compromise kinda man to make kinky love with. everything is planned he’s never settling for less than a perfect evening
where both of you really experience the ultimate satisfaction from treating your bodies to the best of clothes and toys and scenarios
give me an amen for taemin being your sunday guy because this legend of a man is your personal church
and his discography is the bible
and cum play is the baptizing my friend
so yeah huh
every day you can look forward to. monday to sunday
and not a day goes by without someone in the chat reminiscing the steamy video you did with lucas
you end up repeating what you wished that day
for everyone to be with you
so you could feel all of them 
and you say maybe it’s time to arrange something 
you’ve gotten to know each of them personally and intimately by now
and integrated them into your personal life
hell when you wake up the first thing you see is ten’s drawing across your bed
or baekhyun’s funny mama mochi art on your phone background
and you start your day literally selecting from a pile of taeyong’s freshly washed and ironed clothing stacks in your wardrobe
sitting at your breakfast table with a bouquet of flowers that kai and jongin brought you
eating food you bought together with lucas
listening to music that mark made especially for you
they’re all in your life together so it’s the right time to make some heated love together
the chat is all down you don’t even have to ask any further
baekhyun volunteers to go about his leader duty to organize the best possible venue and best possible date
cause with superm things do go 100
he asks what kind of atmosphere you have in mind
you say hard and nasty and kinky
which will definitely make the chat interested
and baekhyun was about to rent a huge modern art penthouse in gangnam
you say no need to go that expensive. you just need a large bed, no paparazzi, and an area where you can be loud. sculptures you could care less about
you have yukhei on your team, so that’s a living sculpture already 
it needs a safe haven essentially, with a dark and lusty atmosphere would be so nice
ten steps in saying he has the exact spot you’re looking for 
he has a friend who runs a declining night club in the suburbs, with some pretty attractive and grungy backrooms with plenty of space to fuck
yeah a club is exactly what you’re looking for that’s a good idea
it’s closed on monday so baekhyun and ten arrange a rental just then
of course way in the evening
with the guarantee of nobody else around
baekhyun knows how this rigged game rolls he says they need the club to perform a dance practice, overnight stay, and shooting a music video
which is only a half-lie
not “hey we are super m planning an orgy wanna invite dispatch and tell lee soo man”
regardless ten’s friend is pretty chill and indifferent anyways
and baekhyun’s money is doing the talk
you’ll be guaranteed to be left by yourself
monday evening it is. 
you already have a whole bunch of fantasies to let loose on your boys
and put it all in the chat
yo it’s called brainstorming and it sure has brain in it
you discuss
and it goes down next week 
you encouraged the members to wear what they feel best in, no dress code, no comparison thinking. you want to meet them like you got to know them, each in their favorite expression
taeyong dons a mass onslaught of fetish gear underneath a trench coat, including a fancy collar, lots of hairspray
and latex gloves. shit he’s a freak
baekhyun puts on the coziest clothes he finds and his smol sneakers but they are secretly expensive, his hair is curly and big, he put on a nice scent
kai can’t help but go black suit and lace underneath, you know him
bleach blonde yukhei gets out the tight white tee and smug jeans
creative genius ten goes all out designing his own fashion (!) with paint, he puts on sexy af glasses and goes for his signature ‘cleavage down to the belly’ look underneath a bomber jacket
mark goes for a casual suit but make it swag, with a sleeveless top underneath, yeah those mark arms go crazy 
taemin — picks his most dazzling silver outfit that looks like a rendition of mermaid scales, pointed shoes, princely hair, famous i’m so fabulous
and it’s already starting out sexy in the car before you even arrive 
because this is all gonna be glorious from the first second to the last
baekhyun and kai will do the driving
you have not one but two classy and sexy chauffeurs you hear me
yeah in their shiny black german cars with those sleek comfortable seats
baekhyun, taeyong, ten and lucas are a team
and then you get kai, mark, and taemin, including your group luggage because such a trip needs a lot of things to pack trust me
you’re with team kai on the way to the club and with team baekhyun the way back 
it’s already lit and steamy on your way there
nothing better than getting in the mood held by the greek god arms of none other than lee taemin with mark lee assisting
you’re entirely wrapped up in kissing taemin so passionately, his tongue melts into your mouth like the finest chocolate
thinking about how you were making out last week gets you going even more
as does feeling up his bulge, ugh taemin is so sensual
mark sitting on your other side being eager to attend to your thighs, your waist, your back, your hands, your hair, your stomach
yep
yukhei has been telling him about the wonders of a whole-body massage since you like it so much
mark gets his hands all over you to provide a sexy caress and wow he’s doing it well, giving everything the perfect kind of attention, always asking if you want more of this or more of that
mark loves everything about you and he knows how to make your anticipation become even more intense by dedicating time to all areas generously
you feel like he’s worshipping you head to toe
it’s the way to get turned on
mark has great soft hands and knows your best spots by now
that’s exactly why it was a good idea to sleep with the members individually at first
you could figure it all out in detail and each member could show their style of doing things, and you could teach them
mark has become an expert in skinship
while he’s kissing into your neck whispering revering things to you nobody else would understand
they’re intimate, spicy details from your studio lessons
with a romantic twist even because mark is giving you his entire arsenal, the entire palette
“i’ve been thinking about you so often...”
with jongin driving carefully and taking the lesser frequented roads 
kai is really keeping it together
the maknae backseat party is faithfully photographed by mark who sends it to the other team after taemin and you select the best shots, giggling
your favorite is a bird’s view of your cleavage with taemin kissing right between your breasts, slightly below the sternum
his hair is softly splayed over the area
taeyong and ten reply with heart eyes in the chat
on you go kissing and touching
taemin is so gentle with you and easily accepts your wild licks and bites, leans his head back so you have perfect access to his neck
by the time you arrive at the club’s back entrance, he’s marked up and his lips are mighty used
ruined neck, ruined mouth
taemin’s favorite two accessories to walk into a club with 
including a hard-on
with mark and kai strutting right after, chewing mints
...both getting hard themselves because mark loves your body and jongin has very good ears when it comes to picking up things that happen in the back of his car
and this bitch got a raging libido, so
the best part is everything is prepared
the other team already parked their car there earlier
ten had the keys to every needed lock, showed everyone around, and then baekhyun went into organization overdrive
this is the first time he didn’t clown around to distract from work since debut
if baekhyun ever means serious business... wow
your best boy taeyong has located the perfect backroom that’s shaded inside and neon-lit from the outside
the window’s aren’t particularly low-sitting so that’s a privacy plus
there’s a huge white extra oversized bed with some more great furniture and a sofa landscape
he desinfected everything to a T
and pulled out every utensil you might need from a large black bag
he walked in like he just commited a bank robbery but in reality there’s cutesy pink rope in the bag
oh well
classic taeyong
yukhei sorted and handed out the condoms plus water bottles for everyone
he’s the expert for the basics don’t come at him he’s doing a great job
after you reminding everyone of the safeword 
taemin sits down with you on the bed and you keep kissing
keeping up the flow right there
//
you beckon your lil’ adorable mochi who’s been dying for skinship
baekhyun is so turned on he wastes no time joining
still fully clothed while the other members are about to undress
you actually like baekhyun huddling up against you in his oversized hoodie it’s cute
so hey, change in plans
everyone ditches the protocol and climbs on the bed only without their shoes 
lot of ties and belts to pull them closer to you
you bring all of them together on the bed now
the feeling of having everyone around you is so electrifying, you have to distance from taemin’s seductive lips not to get some kind of adrenaline overdose
jesus this guy is trying to soak your pants like baekhyun forgot to turn off the shower
you get to enjoy five minutes of relaxed massaging from all sides to cool everything down a little
baekhyun and yukhei alternate with kissing you
yum
big plush lips plus a horny tongue
that’s a good combination
kai is definitely setting the pace of how to massage you, and how to move the body while doing so, and what expressions to make 
instead of sitting there awkwardly staring into space
remember? master of courting — that’s kim jongin
even baekhyun follows his example a bit
you’re entering cloud 9 from that whole-body massage
you can tell they’re all dancers. there’s rhythm involved
having the seven of them attend to you at the same time just hits different
that are 14 hands
70 fingers
all in sync with kai’s physical ideas, carefully yet purposefully kneading and stroking 
kai also helps everyone find a good area and makes sure everyone stays away from any precarious or sexy zones
because you’d probably get off from that in the matter of a blink
to be honest you’re already feeling heated you can’t help it
but that’s a good sign you’re definitely feeling this 
and there’s not a single limp dick in this room at this point already
baekhyun being the best people reader all over again manages a seamless transition to some water drinking
so everyone is ready to go
you wish you could do everything at once but decide to get a load of some slow body rolls against you because hell yeah
courting expert kai is sure to oblige, dance god taemin joins right in, and ten completes the holy trinity and hell does he go off
photographer mark on duty again. this moment has to be captured
baekhyun does his mood management magic and encourages ten and taemin to let out their little sounds more
kai he doesn’t have to tell
nor you because you’re already moaning
shit these guys are just too good
these bodies are machines
again bless your xuxi workout sessions
you wouldn’t keep up otherwise
you curse them because your pussy feels creamy way too early
switching to grinding on their bulges is not a better idea because it’s making you even hornier but anyway it’s your favorite activity
yukhei takes time and some effort to get fully hard so that’s a grateful job now
because you can gather yourself
you resort to using your cleavage to stop turning yourself on completely
and then your hands to palm his pants because that’s even more inconspicuous
group sex with superm? hardest early orgasm avoidance challenge EVER
is there some kind of legally accessible viagra for women
there’s no way you could turn yourself off help
you either get the first orgasm out of the way or keep it together to have some suspense in here and see the boys work hard
the decision is clear
time to bring out the toys that taeyong assembled on a table
baekhyun, taemin taeyong and ten are in the down to get tied up in various ways
lucas and kai get blindfolded and get a sexy task from you
slowly humping the mattress just for your viewing pleasure
topless for that matter
no need to ask twice there they go
photographer mark stays free and flexible. it’s always good to have someone outside bondage just in case with such a big group
anyway so you will be busy for sure
the rest of the boys strip down to only their briefs and get a good dose of spanking
ten is definitely moaning the loudest there
taeyong ends up with tied wrists in a prayer position and has his fun getting slapped around by you 
until he’s breathless and smiling to himself with his tongue hanging out
someone got his daily meal of smacking
taemin highly approves 
nobody’s surprised
baekhyun gets a quick and simple upper body rope harness that’s very easy to grip him by
and just to tease him you add some nipple pinches
result: loud baekhyun noises
cute as hell
so that’s how he’s been training himself to reach all those high notes
interesting
taemin, completely naked, has his hands and ankles tied, looking so beautiful all helpless and his cock itching for stimulation
and because taemin’s strange ‘artistic’ kidnapping fantasies that he never stops talking about cannot be ignored he gets a mouth gag for good measure
you know you just roll with their ideas
he’s a simple man that’s all he needs
you decide to put a bigger bondage piece on ten who ends up in a hogtie aka his new favorite place to be in
if there’s one guy who’s flexible like that it’s him
let’s see for how long he can take it
ten likes a challenge
you tell mark exactly what kind of pictures you want of your tied darlings and he’s well-engaged with that task
baekhyun is clinging to you a lot in the meantime
he gets kisses on the mouth 
and your open ear 
because you can tell there’s something on his mind
or rather
his ass is telling him something after you activated it with spanks huh
what does baekhyun want?
baekhyun wants the strap
and the strap he shall get
his time has come
this time the safeword won’t do so tapping yukhei’s thigh is the deal
taeyong’s kinky tool collection has a nice and thick equipment to offer, jet black black straps, jet black dildo, like it’s some kind of secret agent gear
it takes a lot of lube to get it into baekhyun’s tight and tiny ass but what’s new 
he’s not the gaping expert 
and way too busy laughing at the members’ reaction faces so his damn asshole is contracting god dammit
what a brat
next time he gets a toy for prep
only when you grab him by the harness and get into a rhythm, baekhyun throws it back
good boy
kai and xuxi are allowed to take off their blindfolds now because you have a task for them
taeyong’s toy collection features one extra long double-ended dildo, transparent and neither too slim nor too wide
if baekhyun doesn’t have that thing inside his throat i don’t know who
this shit is made for him
and you can tell he’s salivating for that
you tell yukhei to use those big hands to keep baekhyun’s head steady
and oh wonder, his long fingers enclose it perfectly
kai gets to go hard on baekhyun and fulfill his lifetime fantasy that he has had for over a decade now and jerks off to every night:
baekhyun not talking
so while baekhyun’s ass is getting properly stuffed
so is his mouth
kai has no qualms squeezing the toy into baekhyun’s throat a little more roughly
those are some pretty intense choking noises
mark steadily hits the snapshot button
some people go to pound town
baekhyun goes to silicon valley
kai is not afraid to push that thing as far as it can physically go
you’re pleased with how he’s doing it
and with baekhyun’s blowjob abilities anyway
is there a better throat in this industry? probably not 
he’s pretty surprised himself with how much he can take it
that poor ass is getting more than it can handle in the meantime, baekhyun is throbbing and whining
little did you know his prostate is so sensitive and makes his dick leak
such a shame you fully exploit that
you tell yukhei to have baekhyun move his head on his own to get into the rhythm
and get taeyong over to suck on the other end of the toy because oh yeah
let me just say these two are amazing
god bless sm entertainment 
not for any executive decisions
but for their uncanny ability to attract and assemble all the subs
lee taeyong giving head like the rent is due is a sight you need in your life
like everything, he does it roughly and properly
baekhyun is barely even sucking anymore just straight up gagging and seeing stars
because uh-oh here comes a big fat prostate orgasm
mark is clever enough to hit record on his phone
and capture a shaking baekhyun travelling through a whole bunch of universes, at least in his mind 
because that’s how strong his climax is
all he can say is thank you mama mochi and recover from this on his back
kai is satisfied with the result as well because baekhyun managed to not say anything for fifteen minutes
kai never had this much silence in his life
taeyong is still not done sucking the toy off and you let him
never step between a man and his favorite dildo
lucas takes up the task of untying ten who wants to share the other end that’s free now
and mark hands over the camera to kai who films just that
which also means mark is in the mood for you
about time to get some dick
and have taemin watch right next to you
being able to delight in mark’s wonderful technique
doggystyle
which ends up in kai joining 
which causes yukhei to join
and baekhyun to film 
the three are literally queueing while waiting for their turn
you tell them when to pull out and let the other member have you
until mark is riddled with so much suspension, the fifth thrust on his turn ends up in an unexpected hard climax
“oh my god oh my god!“
obviously kai will let loose now and cum as well, accompanied by really breathy groans
yukhei takes his time to make you moan which gives both taeyong and taemin a good show and an untouched orgasm
eventually you get to hear lucas growling his soul out
and kai bickering to pull out already
because it’s time for buffet
after getting rid of his condom, mark has been untying the very resilient ten who’s been in prawn bondage for like half an hour and five minutes now
respect
he and baekhyun team up to eat you out
yeah prepare for a dream team
while mark and kai chill on the other side of the bed
lucas on the other hand still doesn’t have enough and ends up licking your legs with his cock firmly palmed in those big hands
baekhyun and ten are doing the most meanwhile, lapping you up all sloppy
the job of the cameraman goes to a wild taemin who’s undone his safety hook 
he can’t stand this shit anymore he has to join the action instead of lying around in ropes
jeez the guy has the fun of his life playing with filters
silently giggling to himself
until kai finds out that taemin has been putting cat ears on ten and cowboy hats on lucas
kai confiscates the phone from naughty taem and decides to take up that task himself
so taemin can eat you out himself now
alright there are three heads bumping each other between your legs now
and yukhei close-by, currently nibbling at your outer thighs
can you imagine how crowded and crammed that is
you tell mark to get taeyong out of his ties as well
if you’re gonna cum he has to join the party as well
and he will not hesitate my friend
taeyong’s kinky tongue (which can make all kinds of completely unprecedented moves and slurping noises) riles up the other three to put all their effort into this
you order baekhyun and ten to line you left and right of your hips, fingering you from there
and let both taeyong and taemin get you to the point with their tongues at the same time
it’s a busy day innit
the reason is that baekhyun and ten didn’t come but you plan to change that with some dual handjob
baekhyun lets out some pretty hoarse panting noises
(yeah jongin destroyed him with that toy in his mouth for real)
once your hands grip onto their erections, almost automatically baekhyun’s fingers start going crazy on your clit and ten goes mad with his thumb right next to it
yeah he’s kept his rings on this is gonna be a sexy sight
mark and kai retire from their pillows to join at your request
mark kissing you, jongin sucking on your breasts
from this point on things are pretty much just a daze
two tongues two hands? oh shit
four people are trying to make you cum what did you expect
and three other people are licking you all over
yukhei doesn’t even care at this point he’s just straight up kissing your feet
ten is silently groaning it out, he’s pouring his seed into the condom with little twitches in the hip and shoulders
taeyong’s tongue is gonna finish you off, taemin’s lips will make you feel so good, your legs will be a shaking mess in yukhei’s hands
how to even describe this
it’s an explosion of heat and contractions
you’re going fucking crazy from all that head and tongue action god damn
mark definitely has to swallow a lot of your moans all over the place
and taeyong
also swallows
what a god-loving man
your pussy is leaking enough to feed baekhyun as well
who still strokes himself off while he’s cleaning you up with his mouth, oh boy he really developed a lot of stamina
you have your fun telling him to stop jerking himself off
so his orgasm ends up being ruined
those always mess him up
always a nice sight to have him shaking and whining and gasping
you have to roll over at some point before getting overstimulated
phew that takes quite a couple of deliberate breaths
now you have seven hot guys with sopping wet mouths on your hands, looking at you exhausted and infatuated
that’s super m for you
yukhei, man for the basics he is, hands out towels
you really gotta say he’s kept a clear head in all of this except maybe the sudden foot fetish reveal
of course taeyong towels himself down the most he’s basically covered himself with anything he could get his hands on
that face is dripping like his saturday evening lasagnas 
you help clean mark who kinda lost his mind and heart while kissing you, he needs your care a little more now
baekhyun soon snaps back into organization mode and has the brilliant idea to unpack xuxi’s and jongin’s luggage
to have everyone wearing their gigantic hoodies and sweaters
it’s warm in the room anyway but this feels so much cozier
after going to the bathroom
a ball of cuddly guys is snuggled up all aroud you faster than you can think
mark and taeyong are already sleeping they really knocked themselves out
champs
kai finds the completely forgotten phone somewhere in the sheets and turns off what seems to be a 50 minutes video
that’s gonna be fun to watch some time
baekhyun nuzzles himself to sleep against your sweater, right between your breasts
“mochi mama thank...” are his last words before he drifts off to pineapple pizza land or whatever dreamscape is in his head
probably something much dirtier but anyway
lucas and kai steal kisses from you and go off to sort out the room
jesus christ they still have the energy
taeyong’s nasty lil’ toy collection gets cleaned and reassembled, the ropes get coiled up, the towels wander into a washing machine in the other room
whose steady bumping lulls the rest of you to sleep
while taemin, epitome of taste he is, plays his best of hits on low volume with his phone
dozing off between seven guys while “heaven” is playing? 
best thing ever
the rest is history. you’re surrounded by sleepy cuddly sweater men
you actually sleep for a couple hours
dawntime you wake up cozied and sandwiched between yukhei’s tiddies and jongin’s back
which is the most protected, snug place on earth
even a nuclear superweapon couldn’t explode past that spot
they’re fast asleep
giant baby and teddy bear
safeguarding you in unison
ain’t they adorable
baekhyun is awake silently doing pilates, smiling cutely at you when he sees you’re awake, and he gets a big load of kisses i’m telling you
miraculously everything is tidy and smells fresh, and there’s a light soup in the air...
... lee taeyong got up at 6:30.
he was a whirlwind
the group gets to enjoy a 3-course classic korean breakfast 
because taeyong found the club kitchen
what kind of godly entity is this man
how did he do all of this
the club is the cleanest it’s ever been
taking care of 24 people is probably so difficult, this is actually easy to him
you depart in a good mood because damn that soup was restaurant quality and baekhyun had the idea to give you morning head to which everyone joined in
good thing the club has showers
baekhyun is still horny as hell and you want that D(elight) any time of the day 
so you fuck for a bunch of minutes in his car after dropping off the team and they giving you playful winks
you park the car behind xiumin’s house because that’s the most calm place to be
people are sleeping on xiumnin so hard, no paparazzi are around, ever
baekhyun settles there with you smiling
he didn’t sing “get you alone” with no reason
baekhyun needs that one-on-one time with you to ground himself and love you all over again big time
plus you are dying to cum bouncing on him on the driver’s seat 
while he is desperately gripping the steering wheel to have something solid to hold onto
yeah baekhyun is always ready to lose it for ya
it’s literally such a good spot to fuck
he’s strapped in all underneath you and you can see him squirm and get heart eyes from up close
you also love how your thighs meet the fabric of his pants
baekhyun’s tiny lap is already worth a huge nut you love grinding on him
those shapely thighs
with his cock peaking out from underneath his sweater
what his morning head tongue can do, his dick can do twice with ease so time for round two today
glad you have your bag with some utensils
you’re generous with lube on the condom
in fact you love spilling it over his pants a little
it looks like you’ve been squirting on him that’s why
baekhyun is down for your pervy imaginations
and gets even harder
not bad lil’ guy
time to make him moan with the grip of your walls
mochi breathes pretty hard because damn... more dick destruction
you love burying your hands in his sweater at the shoulders and just fucking ride
his hair gets messy, his bedroom gaze is so intense
his ass still hurts from yesterday but it seems to turn him own judging by the high-pitched groans and his begs for you to bounce on him harder
no problem his dick is just made to be ridden
if this wasn’t a high-tech car from the future with carbon and whatnot anybody could hear baekhyun’s um ‘vocals’ from the outside
this is so much fun oh my god
baekhyun releases with his eyes shut and teeth pressed together, his nose is all scrunched up
jesus this one got to him
he drives you to his home with his fingers shaking a little on the steering wheel
literally tapping like they do in his microphone on stage
yep this shook him up
and insatiable byun is now satisfied byun
nothing better than knowing you ruined your cupcake boyfriend in the best of ways
back at his apartment and after some extra carbo hydrate heavy food, as a pre-nap treat you grind on his thighs and his ass because why not
and gyrate him to sleep with his arms and legs stretched in all directions
both of you are still in disbelief that all of this happened
legend has it you’re dreaming of more group sex ideas that night
the next day taemin sends the champagne video to celebrate your first time together
which brings us back to the start
and that’s how it all happened
now you know
congrats on being a lucky girl
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related: super m as subs
FINAL NOTE. ah shit i love this dynamic, thank you for reading 🎊
© 2017-2021 submissive-bangtan. all rights reserved. no reposts or translations allowed. all depictions fictional.
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spockandawe · 3 years ago
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Well, this is interesting! So, in that post yesterday, there was one line that really baffled me, a thing about people brushing off a character as an asshole “because he shows literally zero growth.” I kind of set that aside because it was such a weird non-sequitur, and guessed that it was just someone’s sentences not quite keeping up with their train of thought, which has happened to me many times. Apparently I was wrong! I already spent long enough on that one post, I’m tired of talking about that, but this is new and interesting. 
Okay. I kind of wanted to see if I could talk about this purely in terms of abstracts and not characters, but I don’t think it’ll work. It would be frustrating to write and confusing to read. It’s about Jiang Cheng. Right up front: This isn’t about whether or not he’s an abuser. Frankly, I don’t think it’s relevant. This also isn’t about telling people they should like him. I don't care whether anyone else likes him or not. But I do like him, and I am always fascinated by dissecting the reasons that people disagree with me. And the process of Telling Stories is my oldest hyperfixation I remember, which will become relevant in a minute.
I thought I had a good grasp on this one, you know? Jiang Cheng makes it pretty obvious why people would dislike Jiang Cheng. But then the posts I keep stumbling over were making weird points, culminating in that “literally zero growth” line.
So! What happened is that someone wrote up a post about how Jiang Cheng’s character arc isn’t an arc, it’s stagnation. It’s a pretty interesting read, and I broadly agree with the larger point! The points where I would quibble are like... the idea that it’s absolute stagnation, as opposed to very subtle shifts that still make a material difference. But still, cool! The post was also offered up as a reason why OP was uninterested in writing any more Jiang Cheng meta, which I totally get. I’m not tired of him yet, but I definitely understand why someone who isn’t a fan of his would get tired about writing about a character with a very static arc. Okay!
Now, internet forensics are hard. I desperately wish I had more information about this evolution, because I find this stuff fascinating, but I have no good way to find things said in untagged posts, reblogs, or private/external venues. But as far as I can tell, that “literally zero growth” wasn’t just a slip of the tongue, it’s become fashionable for people to say that Jiang Cheng is an abusive asshole (that it’s fucked up to like) because he doesn’t have a character arc.
Asshole? Yes. Abusive? This post still isn’t about that. This is about it being fucked up to like this character because he did bad things and had a static character arc.
At first, that point of view was still deeply confusing to me. But I think I figured out the idea at the core of it, and now I’m only baffled. I’m not super interested in confirming this directly, because the people making the most noise about this have not inspired confidence in their ability to hold a civil conversation and I’m a socially anxious binch, but I think the idea is: ‘This character did Bad Things, and then did not improve himself.’
Which is alarmingly adjacent to that old favorite standard of ‘This piece of fiction is glorifying Bad Thing.’ I haven’t seen anyone accusing mxtx of something something jiang cheng, only the people who read/watched/heard the story and became invested in the Jiang Cheng character, but things kind of add up, you know?
Like I said, I don’t want to arbitrate anyone’s right to like/dislike Jiang Cheng. That’s such a fucking waste of time. But this is fascinating to me, because it’s like..... so obviously new and sudden, with such a clear originating point. I can’t speak to the Chinese fans, obviously, but exiledrebels started translating in... what, 2017? And only now, in 2021, do people start putting forth Jiang Cheng’s flat character arc as a “reason” that he’s bad? I’m not going to argue if he pings you in the abuse place, I’m not a dick. I’m not going to argue if you just dislike his vibes. I’m just over here on my blog and in the tag enjoying myself, feel free to detour around me. But oh my god, it’s so silly to try to tell other people that they shouldn’t like him because he has a static character arc.
I want to talk about stories. I don’t know how much I’ll be able to say, because it’s impossible to make broad, sweeping statements, because there are stories about change, there are stories about lack of change, there are all kinds of media that can be used to tell stories, and standards for how stories are told and what they emphasize vary across cultures and over time. But I think that what I can say is that telling a story requires... compromise. It requires streamlining. Trying to capture all the detail of life would slow down most stories to an unbearable degree. Consider organically telling someone ‘I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich’ versus the computer science exercise of having students describe, step by step, how to make one (spread peanut butter? but you never said you opened the lid)
Hell, I’ve got an example in mdzs itself. The largely-faceless masses of the common people. If someone asks you to think about it critically like, yes, obviously these are people, living their own lives, with their own desires, sometimes suffering and dying in the wake of the novel plot. But does the story give weight to those deaths? Or does it just gloss by? Yes, it references their suffering occasionally, but it is not the focus, and it would slow the story unbearably to give equal weight to each dead person mentioned. 
Does Wei Wuxian’s massacre get given the same slow, careful consideration as Su She’s, or Jin Guangyao’s? No, because taking the time to weigh our protagonist with ‘well, this one was a mother, and her youngest son had just started walking, but now he’s going to grow up without remembering her face. that one only became an adult a few months ago, he still hasn’t been on many night-hunts yet, but he finds it so rewarding to protect the common people. oh, and this one had just gotten engaged, but don’t worry, his fiancee won’t mourn him, because she died here as well.’ And continuing on that way to some large number under 3000? No! Unless your goal is to make the reader feel bad for cheering for a morally grey hero, that would be a bad authorial decision! The book doesn’t ignore the issue, it comes up, Wei Wuxian gets called out about all the deaths he’s responsible for, but that’s not the same as them being given equal emotional weight to one (1) secondary character, and I don’t love this new thing where people are pretending that’s equivalent.
When Wei Wuxian brutally kills every person at the Wen supervisory office, are you like ‘holy shit... so many grieving families D:’ or are you somewhere between vindicated satisfaction and an ‘ooh, yikes’ wince? Odds are good you’re somewhere in the satisfaction/wince camp, because that’s what the story sets you up to feel, because the story has to emphasize its priorities (priorities vary, but ‘plot’ and ‘protagonist’ are common ones, especially for a casual novel read like this)
Now, characters. If you want to write a story with a sweeping, epic scale, or if you want to tightly constrain the number of people your story is about, I guess it’s possible to give everyone involved a meaningful character arc. Now.... is it always necessary? Is it always possible? Does it always make sense? No, of course not. If you want to do that, you have to devote real estate to it, and depending on the story you want to tell, it could very possibly be a distraction from your main point, like the idea of mxtx tenderly eulogizing every single character who dies even incidentally. Lan Qiren doesn’t get a loving examination of his feelings re: his nephews and wei wuxian and political turnover in the cultivation world because it’s not relevant, and also, because his position is pretty static until right near the end of the story. Lan Xichen is arguably one of the most static characters within the book, he seems like the same nice young between Gusu and the present, right up until... just before the end of the story.
You may see where I’m heading with this.
Like, just imagine trying to demand that every important character needs to go through a major life change before the end of your book or else it didn’t count. This just in, Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg go through multiple novels without experiencing radical shifts in who they are, stop liking them immediately. I do get that the idea is that Jiang Cheng was a ~bad person~ who didn’t change, but asdgfsd I thought we were over the handwringing over people being allowed to like ““bad”” fictional characters. The man isn’t even a canonical serial killer, he’s not my most problematic fave even within this novel.
And here is where it’s a little more relevant that I would quibble with that original post about Jiang Cheng’s arc. He’s consistently a mean girl, but he goes from stressed, sharp-edged teenager, to grief-stricken, almost-destroyed teen, to grim, cold young adult (and then detours into grim, cold, and grief-stricken until grief dulls with time). He does become an attentive uncle tho. He..... doesn’t experience a radical change in his sense of self, which... it’s...... not all that strange for an adult. And bam, then he DOES experience a radical change, but the needs of the plot dictate that it’s right near the end. And he’s not the focus of the story, baby, wangxian is. He has the last few lines of the story, which nicely communicate his changes to me, but also asdfafas we’re out of story. He was never the main character, it’s not surprising we don’t linger! The extras aren’t beholden to the needs of plot, but they’re also about whatever mxtx wanted to write, and I guess she didn’t feel like writing about Jiang Cheng ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
But also. Taking a step backward. Stable characters can fill a perfectly logical place in a story. Like, look at Leia Organa. I’m not saying she has no arc, but I am saying that she’s a solid point of reference as Luke is becoming a jedi and Han is adjusting his perspective. I wouldn’t call her stagnant, the vibes are wrong, but she also isn’t miserable in her sadness swamp, the way Jiang Cheng is.
Or, hell, look at tgcf. The stagnant, frozen nature of the big bad is a central feature of the story. The bwx of now is the bwx of 800 years ago is the bwx of 1500+ years ago. This is not the place for a meta on how that was bad for those around him and for him himself, but I have Thoughts about how being defeated at the end is both a thing that hurts him and relieves him. Mei Nianqing is a sympathetic character who’s also pretty darn static. Does Ling Wen have a character arc, or do we just learn more about who she already is and what her priorities always were? I’m going to cut myself off here, but a character’s delta between the beginning of a story and the end of a story is a reasonable way to judge how interesting writing character meta is, and is a very silly metric to judge their worth, and even if I guessed at what the basic logic is, for this character, I am still baffled that it’s being put forth as a real talking point.
(also, has it jumped ship to any other characters yet? have people started applying it in other fandoms as well? please let me know if this is the case, I am wildly curious)
(no, but really, if anyone is arguing that bwx is gross specifically because he had centuries to self-reflect and didn’t fix himself, i am desperate to know)
And finally. The thing I thought was most self-evident. Did I post about this sometime recently? If a non-central character experiences a life-altering paradigm shift right near the end of the story (without it being lingered over, because non-central character), oh my god. As a fic writer? IT’S FREE REAL ESTATE. This is the most fertile possible ground. If I want to write post-canon canon-compliant material, adsgasfasd that’s where I’m going to be looking. Okay, yeah, the main couple is happy, that’s good. Who isn’t happy, and what can I do about that? Happy families are all alike, while every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way, etc.
It’s not everyone’s favorite playground, but come on, these are not uncommon feelings. And frankly, it’s starting to feel a little disingenuous when people act like fan authors pick out the most blameless angel from the cast and lavish good things upon them. I’m not the only one who goes looking for a good dumpster fire and says I Live Here Now. If I write post-canon tgcf fic, it’s very likely to focus on beef and/or leaf. I have written more than one au focusing on tianlang-jun.
And, hilariously. If the problem with Jiang Cheng. Is that he is a toxic man fictional character who failed to grow on his own, and is either unsafe or unhealthy to be around. If the problem is that he did not experience a character arc. If these people would be totally fine with other people liking him, if he improved himself as a person. And then, if authors want to put in the (free! time-consuming!) work of writing that character development themselves. You would think that they would be lauded for putting the character through healthier sorts of personal growth than he experienced in canon. Instead, I am still here writing this because first, I was bothered by these authors being named as “freaks” who are obsessed with their ‘uwu precious tsundere baby’ with a “love language of violence,” and then I was graciously informed that people hate Jiang Cheng because he experiences no character growth.
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oh-for-fic-sake · 4 years ago
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It’s A Match Chapter Two
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Masterlist
Summary: as you and henry become closer he lets his family know there may be a new woman on the scene. And you surprize him by moving a little quicker then he had thought. Not that he is against it. He is all to eager to move along to the next step.
Warnings: RPF, Swearing, Angst, Heated Discussions, Fluff.
A/N: here is chapter two, this will only be a short fic maybe there or four chapters but i hope you all like it. This is just me writing down my fluffy fantasy.
Taglist: In Reblogs.
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'Shes a big fluffy teddy bear, and loves hugs, even if Shes crushing me~' henry froze hands quivering nervously over the keyboard. You replied? You actually? Holy shit! He bit his lip sitting up straighter with a grin and smoothed his hair back. He wasn't sure why it made him so happy but? He had a reply, and actual reply from a person! A woman!
Now what?
He wracked his brain and frowned. What does he say? Does he ask questions or just talk about dogs? He didn't know all he did know is that he had messaged a complete stranger and she had messaged back.
'I can imagine moving her must be hard work if she's comfy'
'Yeah but on the plus side she's always warm~ a huge hot water bottle'
'A numb but warm set of legs then😂'
'Absolutely! That sounds like the talk of a man who's been there?'
'Yes I have an American Akita, a very snuggly boy that gives me atleast one dead leg a day😅'
'Aww I love Akita's, I was going to get one but them Amii sort of fell into my lap, and has stayed there ever since'
'Big or small a lap dog is a lap dog'
'Definitely😂' Henry paused. Shit what does he do now? Does he just ask questions? Explain a bit more about himself? Both seemed a little too juvenile... And it was scary... Awkward he wants a nice chat, for conversation to flow naturally. He didn't want to fuck up. There was another ping as you typed another message.
' I have to say I'm surprized I got a message on here, only been on here for a few days😅' henry was thankfull, you wasn't going to judge. You were both in the same boat. Both nervously talking to a stranger in the hopes of there being something more. It made replying a little easier, he hoped that things would get less awkward after breaking the ice.
'Really? I made mine today... not sure about all this new online stuff but will figure it out'
'Well I'd say your doing alright,  at least you had the courage to message someone, i made the profile then chickened out😅'
'I almost did, your the first profile that caught my eye'
'Was it Amii?'
'No, as cute as she is you lacked a duck face selfie, and you look very sweet and have kind eyes' henry froze after sending the message. Shit, shit! That was fucking cheese! Cringe and just a fuck up! He quickly wracked both hands through his hair and cursed trying to think of a way to get out of this but nothing came to mind... And then he saw it the tiny y/n is typing... At the bottom of the screen, he winced dreading the reply he was going to get. He bit his lip worried he hopes he hasn't tripped at the first hurdle.
'Thank you that's kind of you to say. And is a missing duck face that strange?🤔'
'Every woman has a duck face'
'Well I do not have a duck face'
'Really?🤨'
'Well not a good one 😅My duck face is sub par more a fish face, call me guppy😂' he chuckled, you did have a sense of humour which was good. He liked making people laugh and not having them take everything so seriously, it meant he could relax and let loose. To just have fun! He heaved a big sigh unconsiously petting Kal as he sat up and leant on his leg. He quickly began typing once more finding it easier chatting with a stranger with each message.
'🤣🤣 I got to admit I'm not sure what to talk about, this is my first time🤔'
'Well that makes us both online virgins😅lets start with the important things shall we?' Henry froze panicking. 'Oh god! Oh god! What ere you going to ask?!' He thought watching the little dots on the screen holding his breath dreading you'd ask for picture or something. He was put out of his misery with a tiny ping sound and your message popped up. He threw his head back and laughed outloud seeing the all important question.
'Who's your favourite superhero?' You were definitely a geek girl, just like he wanted. He bit his lip and typed without needing to think of the answer.
'Superman, afterall he is the grand daddy of all superheroes. You?'
'Oh your not gonna like this~ I love batman🤗' henry smiled at the screen and leant back wiping his mouth trying to massage the ache from his cheeks. He really was grinning ear to ear just from speaking to you so... Unguarded he was just being himself and it was freeing!
'Oh no!😱can I ask why?' He typed quickly not wanting you to think he was going to keep you on read? Was that what they called it nowadays?
'He proves that at 30 you can have a dramatic goth early midlife crisis and that regular assholes can be heroes too, all you need is money🤗🤗'
'🤣🤣 oh god! You know I never thought of it like that!' henry shook his head laughing out loud as he replied
'But you'll be happy to know supes is number three on my list'
'Well he makes the top three so that's salvageable😆'
'Yeah... Two is Captain America though'
'Rich goth with issues, man with an expensive tea tray, then supes got it 👌👍'
'Omg yes!😂that's sums it up beautifully🤣' after that the conversation moved on which he was a little thankful for. Not that he disliked geeking out but... it'd be easy for him to slip up on that subject. Luckily though he didn't have to think of a change of topic as you began chatting away casually about your day and he did in return before long the conversation was over too soon as you stated you really had to get on with filling out these payslips. So the chat drew to a close with promises of speaking tomorrow.
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And you kept your promise. For the next week you both spent your evenings chatting away at one another becoming fast friends. That was when he decided to let his family know in the new weekly face time zoom chats.
He looked to the screen fidgeting as his family spoke amongst themselves trying to find the right moment to break the news. But his mother had noticed and asked him out right, leaning closer to the screen watching him worriedly.
"Henry? Are you alright your looking nervous?" The others stopped speaking at the question and henry heaved a sigh nervously twisting his fingers.
"Yeah yeah I... I just have some news... Is all" he said swallowing trying to find the words. He was worried, it had been a while since he'd tried to introduce someone new into his life and his family. He didn't want to alarm them but... he wanted to forewarn them that he was on his way to hopefully sharing his life with someone.
"News? Oh its nothing bad is it?" His younger brother asked, but his oldest paused straightening up with a smile already guessing his brother had taken his advice.
"No nothing bad... Its really good actually... I'm sort of... well I'm speaking to someone online... A woman"  he stuttered rubbing the back of his neck and called Kal onto the sofa with him stroking his fur trying to calm himself and fend of the huge grin that seemed to spread across his face everytime he thought of you.
"You did it?" His eldest brother called out clapping his hands excitedly. A ripple of confusion washed over the others and they frowned looking to one another unsure what had happened between the two.
"Did what love?" His mother finally asked not understanding what her sons were talking about
"I made an online dating profile" he said plainly drawing gasps from everyone.
"Oh gosh love are you okay? Your not being hounded are you?" His mother jumped immediately concern etched deep in her features. His father looked uncomfortable-hell they all did! Each worrying over him. He wasn't surprized they had seen fans both love and hate on him and his partners.
"No mum its fine-better then fine I'm really carful... I've covered my ass and no one knows its me, she doesn't know" he said trying to placate his family but instead he was rewarded with disappointed faces, tutting and small, cringing hisses. Fuck.
"Oh god Henry you haven't made a fake profile? Tell me you didn't- please tell me your not lying to this poor woman" his father scolded sternly. His dad may not be up to speed with all this new age online dating shenanigans but he did know that it was wrong to lie to a potential partner. Just thinking that one of his boys were doing just that left a bad taste in his mouth. If he could he would clip his son around the ear!
"Well no not exactly- its me and I'm myself on there I just... changed my name to Hank... And crop my photos so she can see me but not recognise me that's all! I swear I'm not lying or-or anything!" he explained willing then to understand but with the deep sighs and unimpressed looks he got it would seem they didn't understand or approve.
"Are you sure about this? What will she think if things get serious and then this young lady finds out you've been lying?" he father spoke up again wanting to hash this out. Henry faltered for a moment, he worried about that too. He was frightened that you'd get angry and leave him without even giving him a chance!
"I'm not lying, I just? just omitting certain details about my life, I'm being me I'm showing her the real quirky geeky side of me- this is? Its my one shot! The only chance I'm going to get to have someone look at me, not what they can get out of me... I'm not going to blow it or hurt her... if we get to that point then I will explain things- she'd understand she's really thoughtful and is logical" henry pleaded trying to convince both himself and his family. He cant ignore it, he was worried and had been telling himself over and over you'd understand. But he also knew it could really shake you up. But what he was doing wasn't wrong! It couldn't be helped, he thought they would understand!
"Well I hope so because you could break her heart son... And I want you to understand that, this woman could fall for you. You could really upset her when she finds out" his father finally spoke drawing the issue to a close not wanting to argue, but he still wanted henry to know what ever happens was his own fault good or bad. Not everything ends with a happy ever after, but he didn't need to voice that out loud. Henry knew, they all did.
"I know dad, I've only been speaking to her just over a week anyway, for all i know she will ghost me or something" henry nodded calming a little not wanting to fight but still it was clear to everyone henry hadn't appreciated the lecture.
"Ghosting?" he mum perked up trying to diffuse the situation not wanting this to blow up. Tensions were high and no one needed a family spat at the moment.
"Its when someone stop talking to you and ignores you for no reason" his brother revealed explaining the term to his parents. They both ahh'd in realisation but were still a little tense. So his younger brother spoke up deciding to try and be more supportive to him. And henry was thankful.
"Well how about you tell us about her henry. What's you lady freind like? What does she do?" henry quickly grinned forgetting the irritation. His family watched the sudden change as henry got the chance to boast about the woman who had caught his fancy. It was sobering to see, he was glowing with pride and excitement, overjoyed from just thinking about this mystery girl.
"She's just? God where do I start? Shes amazing and funny and wholesome... She doesn't live too far away- Shes pretty much on my doorstep! Shes really funny and nice we talk everyday and have soo much in common its amazing we like the same music and tv and just- everything! Its like talking to a female version of myself! And Shes a fan too" his family all seemed to warm to the idea of this woman until his final remark. Everyone paused. And so did he, what was so wrong about her being a fan? Why was that a red flag for them and not him?
"A fan? Henry... are you sure she doesn't know? If she's a fan she might know and be... making her answers more favourable" henry bristled at that and visibly leaned back brows furrowed and eyes glowing, showing as much anger as he dared show his mother who had spoken out against you.
"What? No! No she doesn't mum she hasn't got a clue- Shes not a fan of mine per say but? She likes my work, she's a huge lover of DC and fantasy so has seen the Witcher and she loved it! Shes really just like me! Is that really hard to believe? That there are women like me? That enjoy the same things?" what had started as a panicked explination quickly became heated and sour. His words slowly becoming uncharacteristically venomous. But Marie Ann new it was just him getting defensive, he was frightened. He had this silly belief he was an abnormality, that his interests will make him forever alone. The thing that did stand out was just how defensive he was about you. A woman he'd probably not even met yet, someone he was only chatting to. It wasn't like henry to take to someone soo quickly. It made her hopeful, that he really had found someone, found his soulmate. But she was a mother and couldn't help worry over him, no matter how old or huge her boys got they were just that. Her boys. And she will always feel the need to look after them.
"Henry please don't get angry, I didn't mean to upset you but... I worry" she said slowly trying to calm him before he got himself into a tizzy. She could see much more then he wanted her too. And right now he was anxious, probably questioning himself over this woman and the way he was approaching her. She could only hope her son was right and had covered his ass and that this woman was as understanding as he said. Otherwise henry was about to get a wakeup call like never before. It wasn't everyday a well known actor fakes a dating profile. It'd be a media shitstorm that he may not recover from.
"I.. sorry I didn't mean to- y/n isn't like that I... I just know alright she isn't after anything" henry apologized smoothing back his hair taking a huge breath and leant back once more relaxing.
"So why don't you tell us a little more about her son? You've been speaking for a week so must know a little more then her name and were she lives?" she said moving on wanting to coax more information about the woman.
"Well she has her own successful business that caters to dogs, walking, grooming and rehoming and is a kc registered breeder. Shes thirty years old and... Absolutely stunning- and no she hasn't filtered any photos either...wait here! See?! Isn't she beautiful?" Henry gushed quickly bringing up your profile picture he had saved on his phone and holding the phone to the camera. He heard a few compliments but could still see the worry in his family. He understood but he just new. He new that you were real, that you were honest and everything you said you were. You were blunt and didn't have time for games, you said life's too short for that crap. And he agreed.
"You have a photo saved already?" henry faltered at the question that had followed a round of compliments and quickly pulled his phone back flushing embarrassed he hadn't even thought of how that would look
"I.. w-well yeah... I'm gonna ask for her number soon and want a photo for my phone... We decided to stick to messaging for a while first and" he tried desperately to dig himself out of the hole he'd just unceremoniously swan dived into. But his brothers burst into laughter making whipping motions making him flush and shrink further. They were definetly going to busting his balls for this. But with a quick shake of his head he continued to gush about you wanting to side step this whole premature photo saving incident.
"she doesn't have Instagram or snapchat... she's just... I can't explain it she's just funny and sweet and genuine... I really like her.. I could easily fall for her" silence reigned after his admission and everyone saw just how serious and devoted henry was to trying to make this relationship work. His mum nodded with a smile, this was just a watch and wait scenario. This woman would either make or break her son, and all she could do was hope to god it was the former.
"Okay then love. I'm happy for you henry just be careful okay?" she finally drew the curtain on the subject and everyone sighed in relief.
"I will, I promise but you have nothing to worry about, I just wanted to let you guys know that i might have someone for you to meet in a few months" henry said eagerly, like a small boy waiting on Christmas eve. He was full of life and enthusiasm. It was nice to see this side to him again, she'd dare say he was well on his way to being loved up! Smitten.
"And we look forward to it henry, but take your time. There's no rush just enjoy yourself" one of his brothers spoke up jumping in on the conversation wanting to make it clear they all had his back whether this ended good or bad. For now they were happy for him.
"I will, we decided were wont meet for a while and just see how things go for the time being but... I have a good feeling, she's everything I've been looking for I'm really excited" henry preened trying to pace himself, he didn't need to be daydreaming in a family face time. Luckily he was pulled from the edge of his own fantasies by another question.
"You said she had a company?"
"Yeah here I'll send you the link its called Puptown! She's actually handled Kal a few times, I send him there for his nails and teeth" henry said quickly sending the link to his brother. He wasn't stupid they were going to look you up, they were worried. He might aswell sent them the link. There was a tiny bio on there of you- the owner on the staff page that had all the staffs qualifications and roles on there.
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You moved through the groom room Amii was curled up under your desk fast asleep as you began taking a stock list. Recently you'd been getting more and more white dogs in for their groom so needed to top up on the bright white shampoo and it was tick season soon so had to double check you had all the tick removal forceps, and ear powder- lots of ear powder the poodle clients had doubled over lock down after all the new puppies bought in lockdown. Every dog deserves a professional groom. But poodles needed them.
"hey boss! You doing another check?" Mandy called as she hoisted a tiny black poem into the bath. Bella a regular and very few people could actually groom her out of the five staff only two of you dared to try. And you didn't blame them this dog was a tiny savage, but the trick was not to show fear.  
"yeah, trying to prepare for summer already, you know i think this will be our busiest yet especially with lord whiskey." you muttered nibbling the pen and moving a few bottles about. Flea treatment and some dry skin conditioner were quickly added to your growing list.
"lord whiskey?" Mandy asked louder over the sound of the shower instantly Bella began snarling like the hell demon she was. On walks and about the place she was a little soppy loving lap pup, but when it came to bath time? Different dog. You cant help thinking she had a bad experiance before she came here. You sighed and placed the pad and pen down standing along side the bathe and began petting the tiny dog.
"yeah they are the vet clinic for lower incomes... They want to set up a new clinic and have reached out" you explained you had to admit the request came out of the blue and you hadn't had chance to tell everyone yet. The staff meeting was on Friday.
"that would be good!" she said slowly wetting the snarling prom that was trying her absolute hardest to frighten you both off. But alas she was no great wolf, but a teeny cute little raging fluff nugget, and to her utter dispair neither you or Mandy found her scary at all. Even if she was trying to foam at the mouth.
"yeah that's what I thought, having a vet on site... We're still talking but if everything goes acording to plane we will have the mobile vet out front while setting up the small clinic... I was thinking in the old groom rooms? They had water and electricity already and its a littl out of the way so the unwell puppets can be separate from the healthy customers" you shrugged moving around Mandy to help tend to your most vocal customer.
"so business will be booming?" Mandy said moving to rinse underneath the small feral beast. You giggled and stood Bella on her back legs as she seethed but in between her savagery she was actually licking at you, showing a hint of the sweet girl she really was. You pet her praising her promising chicken treats and snuggles afterwards. You might even pop Amii in with the others in the small day care pen. Bella liked laying on her using the huge dog as a fluffy bed.
"yes hopefully, i mean were not taking anything for them, they are a charity but hopefully we will get a few visits in the shop? And the more people know about us the more likely they are to use us!" you said you had been weighing up the pros and cons about the new venture. More people visiting the premises, more footfall in the shop and hopefully you can draw enough people to have a little pet café. Your business was right on the edge of the huge woodland park you'd always wanted a small café that serves both animals and people you want a little empire to become a franchise company and give the little guys a chance.
"And how about you? Any luck on the online dating front?" she asked with a small smile. You sighed you half regretted telling her about it. Mandy has been with you since the beginning, she was your first employee and most trusted freind. And she has been hounding you about your love life for a while now. She wants you to take a step back from Puptown and find some time for yourself, and now that the business was established and ticking over nicely it was the time to do it.
"Ooo! Oh my god your blushing!? Bitch spill!" she squealed excited as you flushed and looked away not answering her. And by doing so answering her at the same time.
"I'm talking to someone~ Hank.. He is... Funny and charming we've been chatting each night for about a week" you revealed quietly making her beam at you. Thankfully Bella chose that moment to make a mad dive over your shoulder but you managed to catch her and pop her back into the tub.
"ooo yes get in girl, you have been pouring too much into this company! Its about damn time you focused on yourself" sandy began as she washed Bella lathering the pup with a rather expensive de-sheading anti tangle shampoo.
"Please don't start, I'm doing it now and that's what matters. He is... He messaged me first and things are going good and that's where I'm going to leave it okay? I will update you as we go... I promise" you said releasing the now wet pup as Mandy began rinsing her down. You stepped back to the shelves full of half empty bottles of product. needing to change the topic to avoid daydreaming and fucking up your orders. As great as the wholesaler was this was still expensive stuff and you didn't want to unbalance the books and get more then you needed.
"Oh Bella?~ baby girl its so bad isn't it? Being brushed and washed and massaged? Then getting yourself a blow out and having a nap in the nice cosy play room?" you called over your shoulder condescendingly at the pup who was still snarling out her displeasure. She really was a little brat in the bath.
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Another week passed and you were lazing around the house having a duvet day, snuggled in bed with Amii on your lap. Normally your days off were all housework and finalizing orders or paper work but this week was different. With lord whiskey agreeing to taking the old groom room you decided to finally get an extra set of hands in management to take care of paperwork. It was strange at first but worth it. You now hade someone else to rely on, not that you didn't have managers to help out before but now you had a full time employee that's whole role was to take care of the business side and alleviate the pressure. So instead of the normal made rushes and mountain of paperwork you were in bed chatting away with henry.
He had just finished his work out and was relaxing, having a cool down before having yet another painfully boring sounding meeting with his own bosses. You sympathised. Practical work was the bomb! But the theory and paperwork kicked everyones asses. Risk assessments can eat shit! I'm a person and can asses the risk and decided to do it, why answer to a tick box system? But then again everything needed a tick in a box nowadays. You shuffled about grunting as Amii played dead on your lap so you couldn't move her from the comfy slump she was in over your thighs pinning you down.
'Soo you said you game?'  was the message that changed the subject, thankfully choosing to move on from speaking about work.
'God yes, when I can'
'What do you play? Sims and stuff?'
'depends if I'm on pc or xbox I'm more into fantasy and historic rpgs, but if I'm on my switch its little farming sims sometimes I branch out to things like shooters but not often, I like the big immersive fantasies!'
'So you really do mix and match are you playing anything atm?'
'I'm doing a re-run of skyrim with a load of mods just to spice things up. And just restarted Witcher wild hunt again'
'You like Witcher?'
'I adore it, Witcher skyrim and dragon age are my all time favourites, do you? Sorry I realise I'm just takeing over, I just get excited, I never really talk about this stuff 😅😅'
'No, no its fine I'm the same, I never really get to geek out anymore with work and stuff. I'm happy to have the chance, and I do love the Witcher too fantasy is my thing😄' henry paused for a moment. Should he? I mean you just said you were replaying it... Would it be big headed? To ask what you thought of the show? Of his performance... I mean it'd be an unbiased view, you wasn't going to try and butter him up you still didn't know it was him.
'So you've watched the show on Netflix I presume?' he typed and pressed send quickly before he lost his nerve.
'Absolutly, I binge watched it a few times.😅'
'You liked it? I know a few people didn't' henry couldn't help but dig a little deeper, he desperately wanted you to have enjoyed it.
'I loved it, but I think it was easier for me to watch bc I new what was roughly going on before hand. Most people that struggled thought it was going to be an easy watch? Like got'
'Oh come on, there must be something you didn't like?🤔🤔'
'😞okay you got me, I was a tad disappointed with geralts eyes you can do the toxic eyes and cat eye potion at least give me a teeny cat eye just a smidge🤏🥺'
'Yes I see what you mean, their could have been a little frame of it but there are always sacrifices when going from books to the big screen 😅'
'But henry's portrayal more then made up for it! That man was on point! I was so happy when they anounced it was him playing Geralt there was no way he was going to fuck it up!' henry stopped breathing. You liked it? You actually like him playing Geralt? His heart swelled and he laughed out loud for some reason you enjoying his work just... It meant the world to him! He was over the moon. Quickly his attention was drawn to his tablet again as another message pinged on screen.
'And I have a little fan theory over the whole eye issue😏'
'Hit me with it I'm all ears'
'Geralt has complete control of his eyes right? And is a softy deep down so my idea was he is always holding his pupils open so he doesn't scare anyone'
'🧐that is brilliant! It makes so much sense! 🥰🥰 its also nice to know I have a little conspiracy fangirl on my hands😁'  henry frowned heart clenching as you went quiet, he waited and waited minuets seemed like hours. His mind immediately jump to conclusions terrified you had caught him, that you'd figured out just who you were speaking to. Sweat formed on his brow as he frowned praying he hadn't got a little to close to home and given himself away. Then the dots appeared. You were typing.
'So I was wondering I know we agreed not to at first but since we've chatting every night I thought we could maybe exchange numbers? Only if you want to! No pressure. I'm just excited' henry slumped, melting into his seat. Thank fuck for that! His relief quickly became excitement at the prospect of hearing you! Actually speaking to you properly having an actual phone call? Fuck yes!
'😊😊I was actually trying to find the time to mention it myself, i know its only been three weeks but it feels much longer.'
'Omg thank god! I thought you would think i was rushing you😅here xxx xxxx xxxx' henry was quick to pull out his phone and type the number in, not wasting any time in creating your contact info into his phone book. And whislt doing that also replied to you putting you at ease.
'No not at all, I'm excited I cant wait to hear you🥰'
'Oh god don't build your hopes to high I don't have the most attractive voice it may be the deal breaker😅'
'I doubt that anything could put me off you love, your gorgeous, smart, funny, kind everything I could of dreamed of and soo much more'
'I'm glad its not only me Hank, I have to say I was frightened by how quickly we have become friends, but I suppose it makes sense we are two peas in a pod' henry grinned reading the message and nodded to himself pressing the small green call button and held the phone to his ear feeling confident as he re-read your last message.
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You hummed nibbling your lip, chewing it nervously after giving out your number. You couldn't help your mind dredging up all the horror stories of Ted bundy-esque creepy ass psycho killers, luring in prey on the internet... Fuck you were a bigger girl so easy to sweet talk. You whined and snuggled into the massive furry lump on your lap, lacing your fingers into the dogs thick fur. Petting her as your over active imagination conjured scenario's that could end up with you in a eight foot hole in someone's basement ,being told to 'put the lotion in the basket'. Jesus Christ. But it was fine right? He wasn't weirded out or anything? He seemed happy. You were sensible, or at least you thought you were.
You yipped at your phone suddenly vibrated in your hand, you almost threw it across the room. The screen lit up with 'unknown number' you swallowed eyeing the device then nodded answering the call heart beat thundering in your chest your breath picked up you made to speak but couldn't quite make sounds, unable to force the words to roll off your tongue. There was a deep chuckle, gorgeas and rumbling even if it was quiet.
"You have no reason to be frightened darling I'm just as eager to move on" you gasped as the thick voice spoke in slow syllables, calling you by the nick name he had taken to calling you. You'd asked a few girls at work about it, worried things were going to fast. But they had calmed you down saying it was his way of avoiding being freind zoned. You had to admit the cute little names always made you grin and blush, but this? God this was better then anything! His low timber and slightly more eloquent accent uttering the name sent a shiver up your spine.
A surprizing reaction in all honesty, you'd never really thought about voices much, never had a voice kink or really thought anyone could have an attractive voice. Well not a real voice anyway, sometimes characters on tv with low raspy voices got you going Geralt and Alcide to name a few. He almost sounded like the former if you thought about it... Just more refined? A regal soft lilt.  It was definetly a voice you could listen to all day, this man could read you a bloody take away menu and you wouldn't even gruff at the extortionate prices. You wet your lips and dug your fingers into the warm dog in your lap breathing deep, filling your lungs with air trying to ease yourself and draw in some courage.
"O-oh your? Really there? Really.. real?" you stuttered slowly. You chided yourself for sounding so silly, so childish. But you couldn't help it you felt completely unprepared. Which irritated you because it was you who'd offered your number, what were you expecting him to do with it? Use carrier pigeon? Of course he was going to call you.
"I'm most definitely real love" he spoke again with a small chuckle, he was clearly amused by your flustered question. You blushed and squirmed on your seat trying to breath quietly, you didn't want him to hear just how on edge you were.
"Oh gosh that's.. wow I cant even, I don't know what to say" you huffed trying to think of something- anything else you could focus on rather then the absolute sex that was his voice, then he spoke once more
"Now, now don't be shy love, I want to hear you, your voice is just as I thought it'd be" henry tried encouraging you wanting to hear you and revel in your sweet voice, wanting to commit it to memory.
"Oh? And what's that then?" you asked trying to be playfull but in all honesty you wasn't hitting the mark, you were to nervous. You'd never really thought about your voice, was it attractive? Or too high? Deep? I mean you were normal, you spoke normal and if anything sounded common.
"Pure and delicate, playful and charming all in one just like the woman it belongs to" henry's breathing hitched as you giggled. The sweet tinkling laugher warmed his heart and made him huff out a chuckle himself. He was so happy he could have cried. It was just so overwhelming to hear you finally, to put a voice to the amazing woman he was slowly falling inlove with. He sometimes grew wary thinking you were too good to be true, that you were a catfish yourself. But here and now he knew. You were as real as him and all it did was solidify his resolve, he was doing the right thing. He was falling for a genuine woman. A real woman with no strings attached, and with any luck you were feeling the same.
"well I think I just found my mans flaw~" you giggled once more blushing under the weight of all the compliments. He was really smooth, smoother then you'd thought and that was saying something.
"really darling? Care to enlighten me?" he quipped playfully you usual banter and teasing between you both flowing just as effortlessly as it had when messaging each other.
"your clearly deaf! Well have no fear, i will talk a little louder and learn some sign language for you~" you laughed out loud he joined you low echoing chuckles that sounded as if they came from a deep wide chest. It was enough to drive you mad with lust, but that may be the new found voice kink brewing.
"well its nice to know you are so committed to your man and his disability love" suddenly you froze and trembled panic and anxiety washed over you clogging  your wind pipe at his words... Fuck!
"oh god- no I? Your not really deaf are you? I'm sorry I didn't mean to make fun-" you began apologizing not quite picking up on his sarcasm. Henry was quick to cut you off and stop your guilty rambling.
"No love I'm not deaf I was just pulling your leg" his voice was strained as if he was trying not to laugh at you, but you couldn't really say anything. You were the one nervously crack jokes then immediately trying to take them back. Stumbling your wat through the very first real conversation with a man you were crushing on. God you were such a dweeb!
"oh Jesus you scared the crap out of me" you heaved a sigh wanting to bury yourself into the covers and hide despite knowing he couldn't see your glowing face.
"I apologize darling, I have only the purest of intentions... Well maybe not that pure~ but I don't want to scare you" he grinned when you gasped at his little flirtatious comment. And he wasn't kidding, he found you incredibly attractive and wanted to do all manner of very filthy things with you. It didn't help when you were sending him photos of you drenched nipples hard and drawing him in like a moth to a flame. You probably hadn't even noticed that and he was thankfull for it because you wouldn't have sent it otherwise. It was his favourite photo, apparantly it had been a husky escape from the bath as you switched his lead to another hook.
"your fine, I'm just a little nervous is all" you huffed finally somehow managing to sort yourself out and think clearly overcoming your excitement and nerves.
"I understand but just remember its just me love. So have anything else planned for today?" henry hummed sweetly before giving you a chance to change the topic, you'd never know it was because he was barely holding himself together. He was almost bursting at the seams wanted to laugh and cry and shout all at once. He was completely overwhelmed with joy and relief and wanted to listen to you as much as he possibly could.
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Both you and henry then began the nightly ritual of phone calls and texted all day. He even had a new nick name. Puppy. And he couldn't be more thrilled you'd said it was because he made tiny cute puppy whines when you teased him. But he didn't care, he would happily be your puppy anyday!
The weeks became one month, then two and before you knew it you were one week shy of three months. And that was when it happened. Those fateful words left his mouth as he spoke to you just before bed. He had asked to meet, he was certain and confident he wanted to meet you and take this further, and he hadn't really planned to ask it just happened.
"So your really letting lord whiskey in your old groom space? That's incredible, I'm so proud of you for letting them in love. It says volumes for you and your business, that its not all profit driven" henry spoke down the phone as he stirred his tea getting ready to go up to bed.
"I mean it just seems right... No matter the income everyone should be able to get medical care for their animals. And I'd be lying if I didn't hope some people will come into the shop or realise that we are here and come back for our facilities." he smiled at that. You wasn't just trying to make a great profitable business, you cared and wanted to give everyone a reasonably priced alternative to pooch care. And he was right behind you, he loved that you were trying to give owners the chance to spoil their fur babies without breaking the bank. In slashing your prices you'd attracted more customers and been making a great profit, so much so that you could afford to just give away your old groom rooms to the charity for free.
"shop? You have a shop?" he pondered padding about the kitchen giving Kal his nightly biscuit treat and motioned for him to take it upstairs. Which he didn't need to do, Kal new the jig and was already carrying the treat to the stairs.
"yeah it opened last year? The year before maybe? Its small but here with food and treats a few toys and leads... I try to use smaller businesses the brands that you wont see in the bigger shops" you said slowly and he heard a small yawn and rustle of paper. You had said you were packing up and heading to bed for the night soon.
"I may have to pop over with the bear~" he teased coyly humming to himself as he sipped his tea.
"pop over? I.. Well you could I suppose?" you hummed quietly, henrys eyes almost popped out of his head were you inviting him to ask you out? He coughed quickly trying not to choke on the mouthful of tea and then rocked his head from side to side. I mean he could come over and see you.
"I'm only ten minuet's away darling, Kensington... I've actually used your grooming service once or twice getting the bears nails and teeth done"
"oh?! I didn't know that." you said trying to picture the owners of the akita you saw, but honestly? You had soo many customers now it was hard remembering everyone, that and you wasn't really front of house now, you had more and more to deal with back of house, even with the new manager.
"well you do now sweetheart... So? Do you want to meet up tomorrow?" he asked placing his tea down in favour of crossing his fingers hoping he had read your signals right.
"Yeah of course I'm covering for walking duty tomorrow... So I can't really do anything in the morning or early afternoon" henry fist pumped and grinned faking a silent shout of victory as he managed to wrangle a date.
"That's fantastic actually... I could meet you in the park? I'll bring the bear with me and we could walk the dogs and grab a coffee or something?" he said somehow managing to quell his excitement enough to arrange the date properly, placeing a hand on his heart as it beat wildly. The realisation that he could see you- meet you face to face!
"Yeah that sounds like a brilliant idea, will noon be alright? That's when we do a switch over and go back to feed the dogs in day care so I'll have an hour lunch break" you said stuttering a little when it began to sink in that this was happening!
"Its a date I will see you tomorrow at noon love" Henry anounced eagerly suddenly tomorrow couldn't come soon enough!
"See you then puppy, good night sweet dreams" you said needing to hang up and squeal into a pillow or something.
"sweet dreams love" as soon as he hung up he was already scrolling his phone selecting the number he was after and called in a tizzy.
"Piers?! Piers! I'm? Oh god- were meeting tomorrow and fuck- I'm freaking out already! What do I say? What should I wear- kal's coming too do I put his halti on or just his collar- fuck I don't know what to do!? Please help!" he yelped down the phone to the unsuspecting man drawing a deep sigh from him before he began talking him down.
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greenninjagal-blog · 3 years ago
Text
The Rumor Mill Game (pt4)
I swear I didn’t forget about this au. This chapter is just....long.
Welcome back to this mess of an au :) If you need a refresher, you can find Part Three [here!] Or if you’re new check out the first part [here!]
Summary: Logan is...dealing with the fallout of him and his coworker, Remus, having created a rumor about them being married and now apparently having a kid except not because Logan screamed at the top of his lungs that Virgil wasn’t his kid. His boss has a different definition for what “dealing” actually means. 
Words: 8292 (Holy shit remember when this au was 2k words)
Read on Ao3 || My General Writing Masterlist
When Logan had seen his boss after he made Virgil cry, he hadn’t expected it to end up like this.
Granted when he hadn’t exactly been expecting anything. He hadn’t been looking ahead, hadn’t been making plans, hadn’t been thinking at all. Which was most likely how he ended up outside the bar in the first place. 
Logan could, of course, count the number of times he had been drunk on one hand. College had been a time for experimenting, and of course for his twenty-first birthday his friends at the time had been insistent that he needed to imbibe an unholy amount of alcohol in one night. They had turned it into an experiment, where Logan documented exactly what he was feeling after each drink and he still had the notes in his desk at home, despite the fact that his handwriting had become illegible after the fifth drink and someone had spilled an orange soda based tonic on the third page. The notes themselves were worthless, but they served as a memoir to people who he no longer associated with and a younger version of himself who had still been learning.
And Logan did have a soft spot for that imbecile: Twenty-one-year-old Logan Ackroyd who still believed in the goodness of people and who wanted to change the world and who could fall in lov--
Logan pitied him-- that kid he used to be-- which he was certain that his younger self would be indignant about. Logan always did hate when people pitied him. Those emotions had rarely ever been genuine, rarely ever been helpful, rarely been productive. What was he to do about people feeling bad for him? About others being disappointed? About others making assumptions about him and how he felt?
He didn’t need pity, and he didn’t want it. Not when he got rejected to his first three colleges, not when flunked that English class and had to pay to retake it the next year, not when he had bought that ring and gotten down on one knee and made a whole carefully edited speech and--
And he’s not nearly drunk enough to deal with these types of thoughts. Or any thoughts for that matter. Wouldn’t it just be great to stop thinking? 
Then he wouldn’t have to remember the looks on his coworkers faces when he storming into the office less than fifteen minutes after initially leaving for lunch and demanded that Beatrice turn in her overdue spreadsheets in twenty minutes or he’d have her fired before slamming his office door hard enough to crack that frosted glass, or the look on Remus- fucking- Prince’s face when he tried to act like everything that had happened was not his fault and that Logan had taken the game to far by himself without any sort of prompting from Remus, or the look on Virgil’s face when Logan lost his self control.
Like an idiot. Like an asshole. Like someone who doesn’t think before he acts.
Like someone who should be alone for the rest of his life, because he can’t seem to get a hold of those useless emotions of his. 
And Logan wanted so very badly to blame Remus Prince for this whole endeavor, the whole production, the whole catastrophe. He wanted to say that without Remus he never would have gotten that angry, wouldn’t have had that conversation, wouldn’t have even gotten Thai today. 
Logan wanted to say that, but really it's his own fault. If he had just dismissed Remus’s rumor in the beginning, if he had just told Jen and Quin that his personal business was his own, if he had just ignored the urge to get coffee and finished the spreadsheets without getting up that last night.
His fourth finger itched around the base, the area where that little silver ring had been sitting for less than a day. It was ridiculous, utterly ridiculous, because Logan had never worn a ring before and now suddenly the absence of it caused his skin to crawl in a most unpleasant, unproductive way. 
Distantly Logan realized that by gifting Remus such a wonderful present, he had also thrown away four hundred dollars. And perhaps ironically Logan noted that he feels annoyed about it-- four hundred dollars had been sitting in a pocket of a dress jacket in the corner of his office for over nine months and he had tossed it aside in a fit of impulsive anger.
Logan had not been hurting for money recently, with how decently he was paid, and the amount of overtime he worked, and how little time he had taken off since that disastrous night.
But perhaps he might have been able to return it to the jewelers and weathered the terrible, awful pitying looks they would give him when he requested about their refund policy or a location where he might be able to sell it himself. It was a ring that was worth four hundred dollars and he had given it to Remus, and isn’t it funny that that’s farther than he got with the one for whom the ring had been originally intended?
And as Logan downed his next rum and coke of the night, he hoped that Remus found a better use for it. Newton knows it hadn't done any good for Logan. 
(Its stupid, Logan knew, to blame a ring for the way that he had screeched “He’s not and never will be our son!” Its stupid, Logan knew, to blame a ring for the way that Remus had hummed mischievously “I think I enjoy being fake-married to you, Logan." Its stupid, Logan knew, to blame a ring for the the way his last partner had said “We should see other people”. Its stupid, stupid, stupid--)
“Hmmm,” A voice behind him said, “I thought I would find you here!”
Logan didn’t realize he had closed his eyes until he heard the voice and felt every atom in his body figuratively threaten to combust. He wasn’t drunk enough to be thinking about him, and he most certainly wasn’t drunk enough to turn and look at the incessantly, perky man that had decided to sit down next to him.
Logan waved at the bartender and ordered another rum and coke and watched his freshly emptied glass disappear like the handful of others he didn’t bother to keep count of.
“And I’ll have two waters, please!” Patton Hart added with one of his peppy, happy, insufferable laughs, before turning to face Logan. “Hiya, Lo! It's been so long since we’ve seen each other!”
“Not long enough,” Logan disagreed, with a rueful smile that should very clearly, very precisely detail how much he does not want company at the current moment. “Don’t you have things to be doing tonight, Mr. Hart?”
Patton hummed, pressing his lips together as he thought-- a monumental task for someone like him, surely. Logan was partially convinced that if he removed his glasses he might be able to see the squirrels beginning to run on that rusted wheel in the other man’s brain. If Logan was of a less logical mind he might even be brazen enough to call this the first time Patton had used his brain all week.
“Well,” Patton said, carefully settling himself on the stool next to Logan. “I was graciously informed by my son that he would be enjoying the perks of being a teenager with no bedtime tonight and along with where exactly I could shove my homemade lasagna.” He laughed lightly, “Kids, these days! He really does keep me on my toes!” 
Logan did his best not to roll his eyes. “I do not know the whereabouts of your son, Mr. Hart.”
“Patton,” He said easily, “And I’m not here for my son. I’m here for you, Logan.”
“If this is about the glass in my door, you are very capable of taking that out of my paycheck.” Logan told him.
The bartender placed Logan’s new rum and coke in front of him and he reached for it almost immediately, only stopping when Patton’s hand landed on his forearm.
“Mr. Hart--”
“Patton,” Patton corrected with that smile that Logan suspected was the worst thing in the world. Worse than Virgil’s blank expression when he told them to get out, worse than Remus’s smug one when he suggested that Logan did indeed enjoy the ability to manipulate his coworkers, worse than Beatrice faulty excel sheets, than broken glass of his door, than a ring he never wanted to see again and yet he still felt like it was missing from his finger.
“Mr. Hart,” Logan said again, “I am going to get horrifically drunk tonight, and I will be calling out sick tomorrow, regardless of what you say. So my advice to you is, say anything of importance now, before I am too incoherent to register and respond accordingly.”
“That doesn’t sound too smart there, kiddo!” Patton said, like he was any older than Logan was.
“I do not feel like being smart right now,” Logan said snippily. Because being smart involved thinking, and Logan had done quite enough thinking for the day. He was tired of thinking, tired of memories, tired of the lump in his chest that had formed during his lunch break and hadn’t dissolved in the eight hours since. He was tired.
“Would you like me to be smart for you?” Patton asked.
Ah.
Yes, Logan remembered suddenly with just a few words why he hated Patton Hart so much. Why he hated those too-wide brown eyes, those stupid freckles, that soft smile. Why he hated the way that Patton had tracked him down despite the fact that he had turned off his phone, the way that Patton had ordered two waters, the way that he hadn’t taken off his jacket. The way that he had taken out his keys and put them on the bar counter between them and Logan could pick out his own house key from the jumbled mess of bits and bobs.
“I heard something pretty interesting today,” Patton said, when Logan didn’t reply because he was too busy remembering why he hated Patton so much.
“Please don’t pretend like you didn’t know about my so-called affair before I did.” Logan snapped. “Honestly, Patton!” Logan dropped his arm from the glass and instead pressed his knuckles to his forehead. “Playing dumb about your own company is my least favroite thing about you.”
“I thought you hated my laugh the most.” Patton looked at him, letting the smile slip into something more serious.
“I hate everything about you.” 
“Pay for the drinks, Lo.” Patton told him, “And I’ll take you home. We can have some of my lasagna and watch a space documentary, like we’re twenty years old again.” 
Logan hated Patton and hated the way his chest ached at the offer. His knuckles bore into the side of his head, jabbing the frame of his own glasses into this temple. He hated the way that Patton was looking at him, soft and sweet and naive.
He hated the way his fingers itched to take Patton’s hand and go home.
“And after all that,” Patton continued so lightly, “You can tell me all about how Remus Prince got under your skin.”
 Logan’s hand slammed on the counter, so suddenly he surprised himself. Patton, however, didn’t flinch, didn’t even blink, didn’t react other than to hold that smile. 
“I am not drunk enough to be talking about Remus Prince,” Logan spat. “Especially not to you, Patton.”
Patton was quiet and at first, Logan really had thought that he had won something-- he thought that perhaps Patton would grant him mercy and let him drown his sorrows alone and miserable in a bar until he forgot his own name. But Patton was too good of a friend and Logan really should hate him less for that.
“You know,” Patton said with a cold type of humor that doused Logan with awareness. Bad awareness. The type of awareness that sunk it’s metaphorical claws into Logan’s chest and pierced straight through his heart before Patton finished what he was saying. “I think….yeah that does sound familiar. Do you remember the last time you said you weren’t drunk enough to tell me something?”
Logan did.
Logan couldn’t forget if he tried. 
And he had tried so very hard for so very long-- except that Remus Prince had waltzed into Logan’s life, had called him a Robot, had smirked at him and run their coworkers around like cattle with pretty little words. Except that Remus Prince had gotten bored and decided that the only logical next course of action was to mess with Logan’s personal life. 
Except that Remus Prince had played along with the rumor game, and smiled at him, and kissed him, and---
And Logan had started thinking---
And Logan’s mouth had started moving--
And Virgil face had--
Logan reached for the glass in front of him, reaching for the cool ice and the spritzy carbonation and the burn of the rum.  
Patton watched him, blinking in the long, slow, dumb way of his that had fooled just about every person that he had come in contact with. With the goofy smile and the habit of deliberately misunderstanding key phrases and making puns and jokes when things were tense, it was hard to see him as anything other than a rich son who became CEO via thinly veiled nepotism. 
Logan knocked back the drink, blinking back the burn behind his eyes that were from the alcohol and definitely not from the lump in his throat that had started dissolving.
He didn’t want to close his eyes, because he knew what he would see when he did: a nice suit, a fancy dinner, a walk to the bridge dotted with fairy lights of all things. He’d see that stupid ring, that stupid face, that stupid end of the night that everyone had told him would be nice, and perfect, and everything he would ever want! 
And he didn’t want to think about how it had not been nice or perfect or anything either of them had ever wanted!
He didn’t want to think about how years ago he had come to a bar just like this, and tried to get so drunk he could pretend that it hadn’t happened, and Patton had shown up then and offered him a job and--
“He wants to go by Janus now,” Patton said, picking up one of the waters and taking a sip.
Logan squinted at him and tried not to be happy about the distraction from his own thoughts, “Who?”
“My son,” Patton said, like it was obvious he had switched back to a neutral topic. “He told me earlier during our phone call he wants to go by Janus, now. He said he’s hated the name Dante for forever. Can you believe it, Lo?”
Logan couldn’t actually. Because he had known Patton since they themselves were teenagers, since before Patton had brought up how empty being a CEO was without anyone to come home too, since Patton had first invited him to Sunday brunch and introduced him to the child he called “son”. Logan had babysat Dante when Patton had business trips and Dante had always been proud of himself, of his better-than-the-status-quo lifestyle, of his name that held power and prestige and weight.
Dante had been practicing saying his name in the mirror since before his voice cracked. Dante Hart, future CEO. Dante Hart, son of Patton Hart. Dante Hart. 
“He’s a teenager,” Logan said, “He’s rebelling.”
“Maybe so!” Patton laughed, and it dwindled down to something that was easier felt in the air than definable in terms Logan was familiar with, “Gosh, I love him so much, Lo. My baby! He’s growing up so fast now! The other day he told me he had a boyfriend. He’s at that stage where he doesn’t want me to help him anymore!”
And despite the buffoon having not had a single drop of alcohol, Patton was tearing up. Logan gritted his teeth at the implications of a weepy, teary, so-full-of-emotions Patton. He had spent enough time in college trying to console him as he figured out the whole “Why does it always have to be about sex? Why can’t I just love hugging someone, Lo? Why does everyone make me feel so broken?” Logan hadn’t been any good back then, and he definitely hadn’t gotten better with time. 
After that disaster with the last guy, Logan had decided that feeling things, frivolous things, emotion-like things, were not something he was into anymore.
Logan learned from his mistakes, after all.
Even the mistakes that started with “R” and ended in a $400 ring being thrown away.
“Is that why you’re here, Mr. Hart?” Logan asked, in that way of his that told even Patton with his squirrel run brain that it wasn’t actually a question at all. “You can’t baby your son anymore so you’ve moved on to the next best thing?”
Patton stuck his tongue in his cheek and set his water back down. “Patton.” He stressed. “And I’m not here to baby you, Logan. I’m here to be your friend.”
He said “friend” like it was a word in the dictionary Logan didn’t know. It was infuriating: the insinuation that Logan had never cracked open a dictionary before, that he was so unknowledgeable about the concept of a friend that Patton was about to show him the online Oxford dictionary definition, like someone who played dumb all day and peppered his windows with sticky notes in the shape of a game of Frogger knew more about something than Logan who had clawed his way up from nothing and was constantly needing to prove how he earned his position.
Patton nudged the second water in Logan’s direction.
Logan stared at it, at the condensation on the glass, at the ice cubes, at the refraction of the low lights from the bar counter. He stared at it like it was a portal back through time that would allow him to slam some sense into poor, pitiful twenty-one-years-old Logan before he let himself fall in Love.
Before he bought a ring or stopped taking days off unless Patton tromped down to his office himself. Before Remus Prince borrowed his cup and before Logan got it in his head that he was serving revenge rather than idiocracy. Before he let himself think too little and say too much and hurt a kid that had never deserved to be upset before in his life.
“If my son wants to be called Janus, I’ll call him that,” Patton says softly. “Because even if it doesn’t make sense to me, it means something to him. And even if my friend is struggling with emotions that don’t make sense to me, I’m still gonna try to help him, Lo.”
Patton ducked his head just a little, just enough that he managed to catch Logan’s strategically averted gaze and make something out of it: a swell of guilt, a sense of hope, a pinch of safety and unadulterated kindness.
His throat was dry, but it was the type of dry that couldn’t be fixed with a glass of water.
“I made a kid cry,” Logan said, because self loathing is a coat he had thought he’d outgrown but he can still fit his arms in the sleeves.
Patton nodded. “Yeah, I heard about that.” He sipped his water. “I think we all have at one point or another.”
“See, the distinct difference that you are missing here, Patton, is that you are a father.” Logan snapped, “And your son will cry at the drop of a hat if he thinks he can get something out of it. And you would never harm a child! Not for any reason in the entire world!”
“And you would?”
“I did.” Logan felt himself sink into the chair, sink like an anchor in the ocean, sink like the floor below him had turned into a blackhole. “I did, I did it. What type of person does that make me?”
“I hate to break it to you, Lo,” Patton said, as kindly as he could, which Logan knew was truly, sickenly nice. He wanted to choke on the sentiment but he found that he couldn’t quite make his chest hurt the way he wanted it too when it came to Patton’s pity.
 “But that just means you’re a normal person.” Patton smiled dumbly, tilting his head and shrugging. “Everyone says things they don’t mean sometimes.”
“You don’t.”
“I do,” Patton countered gently, “Like when I hired Beatrice before realizing that she had lied about knowing how to use Excel.”
“Fuck, Beatrice,” Logan agreed, because if he closed his eyes too hard he thought he might still see grid patterns as much as he might see Virgil’s hurt expression and he hated it so much. So much. 
“I also told-- Janus once that I would get him anything he wanted for his birthday, and he asked for a snake.” Patton shuddered, almost comically, “And you saw how that turned out.”
“I’ve always been impressed with his ability to sneak things into the school buildings,” Logan sighed. “I doubt anyone has ever forgotten that Show-and-Tell.”
Patton chuckled quietly. It was almost lost in the buzz of the other patrons in the bar. He drew a smiley face in the condensation on his glass and Logan reached over to wipe it away, like he had done a hundred seventeen times since college.
“So….Lasagna?” Patton offered. “We can make some garlic bread too.”
“I regret ever meeting you,” Logan said, even as he picked up the keys on the counter between them. He wished that Patton didn’t look so self satisfied, so pleased, so smug when the words tumbled from his lips, but Patton had never been one to pertain to the wishes and whims of Logan like that.
Settling his tab was quick; a pile of bills from his wallet that he didn’t actually check, but decided the bartender deserved anyway and then Patton linked their elbows together so that Logan couldn’t walk off the way that he used to when he would agree with Patton just to get him to shut up. Logan snagged Patton’s glasses from his head and fogged them up with his breath, before taking on the tedious task of cleaning the fingerprints off the lens meticulously while walking in a wobbling straight line. 
Patton laughed like silver bells and it alone brightened the entire street with a type of magic that Logan had long since given up on trying to scientifically explain. The poet in him that Logan had buried under Calculus classes and Statistics courses and a Business degree and only let out when the alcohol out weighed the blood in his system, whispered that it was because it was Patton and his aloofness, and his kindness, and his generosity that never made any sense, and wasn’t that reason enough for the universe to lighten up?
It was drizzling outside, scattered raindrops and dark heavy clouds that whispered of a thunderstorm later. Patton skipped, Logan rolled his eyes and let himself be dragged towards the familiar pale blue punch buggy. It was the same exact car from their college time together, if one ignored the frankenstein replacements of just about every single component in it. Patton clung to the car the same way he had clung to the delusion of Logan being a good friend; sticking close through every breakdown, excusing every letdown, and spending far too much money on it when economically it would have been more beneficial to just let them go.
A wave of self loathing wrapped over Logan again when he pulled on the car door. Patton was genuinely a good person, a good friend. He was stupid at times and he made decisions that made Logan was to strangle him, but he cared so much more than other people. He offered fourth and fifth chances when Logan would have stone-walled his offender at one. 
Not to mention, he had come out in the rain to find Logan specifically, probably traversing through three other bars to find the one that Logan had chosen to be his misery echo chamber.
By some sort of lucky happenstance, Logan had originally walked far enough to hail a taxi  to get to this bar, leaving his car in the safety of the parking garage where Patton’s company paid a nice sum for security. Logan had tried to argue about that expense with him back in the day, but Patton had pulled out a picture of his toothy grinning son-- Janus-- and said “Lo!! What if my son comes to visit when he learns to drive?! I don’t want to worry about him getting attacked in the parking garage!” 
Logan had brutally pointed out that his son would never visit him during work, and so far he had been correct in that assessment, but that didn’t stop him from feeling the slightest bit guilty about his bluntness even so much time later.
Patton had always looked for the best in people, had more strength than most of humanity, had more hope in happy endings that Logan had trust in fact and numbers.
“Is your son okay with me calling him Janus? I’m unsure of etiquette on this. Should I wait until he tells me his preference or should I just make the switch and not bring it up to him?” Logan asked with a sigh as Patton pulled out of the parking spot and set them towards Patton’s house on the other side of town. Unobstructed and following the driving laws, it would only take them about fifteen minutes, and yet Logan wondered about the possibility of Patton having Advil in the car.
The back of his head was already aching from the days events: banging his head on the keyboard all morning leading up to his disastrous lunch date, Remus, Virgil, squinting at spreadsheets until he couldn’t make out the numbers anymore, and the of course stumbling his way to the bar and dealing with Patton.
Patton giggled. “Oh yeah! I asked him earlier if it was okay to tell you. He said he wanted you to call him Janus now. He also said to tell you, you can take a hike.”
Knowing Janus, it was probably something more volatile than “taking a hike”. Most likely it had been something that might have required him to put a full five dollars in the swear jar that they kept on the counter next to the cookie jar. Not that it would matter much. Logan had stayed over at their house dozens of times and every single time he had come across Janus taking that money back out of that swear jar.
As far as Logan was aware, the swear jar had never actually been full. Patton must have noticed at some point-- probably that very first time Janus had taken the money back out-- but he was irritating insistent that he play dumb about it. Thus, Janus continued to swear in excess, Patton continued to make him put money in a swear jar for no real reason, and Logan continued to never understand either of them.
The radio in Patton’s car had been broken fifteen times since Patton had gotten it, but Logan assumed from the silence of the drive that it was now sixteen. He rested his elbow on the window and watched the drizzle turn into a steady rain and the windshield wipers flutter across their vision to occasionally bring them clarity.
The night life was somewhat dreary. The driving pace was slow, and they hit every single stop light in the city because that was just Logan’s luck. There were a few people running around in the rain: a family with a small child who was jumping in every slowly forming puddle on the sidewalk, a couple sharing an umbrella walking so close together they appeared as if to be one misshapen form, a group of friends chatting outside a 24 hour dinner in raincoats, and a few smokers huddled under an alcove with embers burning just enough for Logan to make out their forms through the downpour. 
Logan realized almost immediately that the pit in his stomach was much more bearable if he instead focused on the raindrops on the window that are much easier to look at, much less representing something that Logan had always expected he might one day have, much less accusatory in wondering what is wrong with him that he can’t act like a normal human being, this isn’t working, who wants to marry a robot like you--
That was the reason why he wasn’t expecting the sudden jerk of the car coming to a hard stop at a yellow light that they absolutely could have made. 
“PATTON!” Logan yelled.
The car behind them blared it’s horn and Logan rubbed his neck and reset his glasses from the sudden movement, ready to question what exactly Patton thought he was doing, because truly of all the things Logan was not in the mood for, this was one of them. 
Except that before Logan could get any words out, Patton had put the car in park and whipped off his seatbelt to kick open his door. A wave of rain came pouring into the car as the man threw himself from the driver's seat like there was something wrong with the car, and for a second Logan entertained the absurd idea that they were going to blow up.
Which truly, would have just been a fitting end to his horrific day.
“Patton!” Logan hissed, grabbing after the other’s coat to pull him back inside before the rain soaked into the seats. “Get back in th--”
The other man ignored him, frantically waving to someone in the rain. “REMUS!! MR. PRINCE!! OVER HERE!!”
If Logan knew slightly less about human biology he might have been inclined to say that his heart jumped straight to his throat and climbed its way up his esophagus to strangle him. He wouldn’t have recognized the figure on the street corner on his own: Remus Prince was wearing a black leather jacket and jeans with holes in the knees. He was soaked to the bone, without an umbrella, and his usual bouncy brown curls were matted to his head, as if he had been walking out in the rain for much longer than the rain had been sweeping through the city.
He was standing with the smokers under their minimal tarp, although he, himself, was without a cigarette at all. When he turned at the call of his name, there was only confusion and exhaustion in his face. None of the smugness, or the ego, or the energy that he usually had.
Logan didn’t know why that bothered him. He was hurting from earlier; that was good. 
After all, it was Remus’s ridiculous game that he had dragged everyone else into. 
((Logan’s finger itched and he dug his nails into his skin so deeply he was afraid to glance down in case there was blood pouring off hands.))
Remus ventured out to meet them, dodging across the lanes of traffic without a care in the world, or perhaps with a death wish. Remus didn’t seem particularly like he would mind getting run over by the way that he opened the back door, climbed in, and shook the excess water out in the interior of the car like some type of undomesticated dog. 
“Is this a kidnapping?” He asked, rain dripping down his face. “A murder? Do I get to know your name before you dismember me, cutie?”
Patton laughed joyfully, even as Logan felt his face screw up at the sound of Remus calling their boss “cutie”. It was beyond unprofessional, even if Remus was apparently unaware that his career hinged entirely on not insulting Patton. It took a lot to make Patton angry enough to fire someone-- his patience was the best and worst thing about him, as Logan had been reminded every time they interacted-- but once Remus crossed that line, not even a cockroach like him would be able to drag himself out of the metaphorical wasteland Patton would make out of his life.
Cutie, honestly. Who calls anyone they’ve just met cutie. Logan could understand Remus having called him Lovebug and Lolo, but cutie? 
For Patton?
Patton climbed back into the car, snapping on his seatbelt and managed to get out of park at the very same moment as the light turned green. He wiped his sleeve along his glasses, and brightly said, “I’m Patton! And you already know Logie here!”
“Logie?” Remus repeated, sitting back against the seat taking in Logan for the first time. “Oh shi--”
“Do not call me that,” Logan said. “Patton, you can drop me off at the next corner. I will walk home.”
“Don’t be silly!” Patton said, in the same tone that he had used during their college days to coax Logan into driving him to the nearest grocery store after he had successfully managed to pull two all nighters in a row. Logan hated that tone, and Patton knew that well.
“If you do not stop the car, I will throw myself from it while it is still moving.”
“I can get out, actually!” Remus said far too loud for the small car. Logan resisted the urge to turn around and scowl at him. Surely, his pea-sized brain had managed to figure out that he was the point of contention here and that his best move would be to shut up, so why had he decided to open his mouth? “I need to get home anyway. Big day tomorrow and everything.”
“Oh?” Patton said delightedly because Logan would not ever play into subject changes willingly. “What’s tomorrow?”
“I’m getting fired,” Remus said with a nonchalant shrug.
Patton blinked for a moment-- his squirrel-run brain jamming at the sudden twist of the words because whatever he was expecting from his visitor it was not that. Logan resisted the urge to reach over and give him a shake at the shoulders: of course he wouldn’t be able to expect anything with Remus Prince. The man was insufferable and illogical and he wrought chaos for fun. 
With everything that had happened, did Patton really think that there was an exaggeration in there?
Remus wanted attention. And he said whatever he needed to in order to get it: a fake affair, a fake divorce, a fake child-- Of course he would say he was getting fired tomorrow if it got Patton to have to use all of his meager brain cells to figure out how serious he was.
“Is that something to celebrate, Mr. Prince?” Logan cut in coldly. “Getting fired?”
“And here I thought that you would be happy, Ackroyd,” Remus said. “Unless you think you’re going to miss me.”
“If only I would be so lucky,” Logan said, digging his phone from his pocket, and turning it back on. The screen was blindingly bright and Logan’s eyes ached just glancing at it in the corner of his vision. “Patton, pull over. I am not doing this tonight. Or tomorrow. Or ever again.”
“I’m not going to let you walk home after however many rum and cokes you had, Logan.”
“Patton,” Logan snarled. “If you continue to treat me like you treat your son, I will tender my resignation tonight. Pull over now.”
Patton opened his mouth, but whatever he was going to say was swallowed up in Remus’s empty voice speaking. 
“You went drinking?”
“Do not talk to me, Mr. Prince.”
“You’re not even yelling.”
Logan wasn’t sure what that was supposed to mean, which may have irritated him more than the fact that he was so insistent about continuing to talk when Logan was liable to push the car to crash and kill all three of them. Remus was already staring at him, his expression dark and serious in the passing car lights and somehow Logan thought that he looked vulnerable. 
Logan gritted his teeth as his headache pulsed behind his eyes. 
“Shut up,” he said. “And put on your seat belt.”
“Or what? You’ll divorce me?” Remus pushed forward between the seats until he was just a few inches from Logan’s own face, grinning with all his teeth. It was at once the same smile that Logan had catalogued through every week of working with him and also something completely foreign.
Remus had pulled him into a kiss earlier that morning, and Logan remembered the taste of pickles on his lips just as well as the smirk he kept as Logan walked away. But this expression is somehow inverted, somehow shifted, somehow a weapon more than a challenge.
“Boys,” Patton said. “Please don’t fight in my car!”
“If you did not want us to fight, why did you invite him in this car?” Logan asked. “You, of all people, know my opinions on--”
“Logan, you’re drunk.”
“What does that have to do with this?!” Logan bit out. He glared at his phone: there were three missed calls from Patton and a handful of text messages from him that Logan couldn’t actually read in the combination of the bright phone light and darkness around them. His eyes were blurry even with his glasses on and the frustration of not being able to read only heightened as he made out the notification for his email which meant that Beatrice had managed to finish her work (allowing Logan to be able to go fix it) or that news of him yelling at a child made it around the office and now he was going to harassed by them as well.
All because of Remus Prince’s inability to shut up. 
 Patton threw a hand out and grabbed Logan’s phone from his hand and carelessly tossed it over both their shoulders to Remus.
“Patton!” Logan hissed, rubbing the irritated tears from his eyes. “Remus, give it back!”
Remus, however, was just staring at the phone in his lap like it was some type of bomb. Logan’s phone locked itself and the screen went dark, and still Remus sat inhumanely still in the seat, staring at it, with a type of blank expression that Logan oftentimes related to their coworkers when Logan asked them to perform any sort of math without a calculator.
“Remus,” Logan said again.
Remus jerked at the sound of his voice, snapping out of whatever fit the phone had put him in almost meekly-- if Logan could describe anything Remus did as meekly without it being a blatant falsehood. “Meekly” itself had never seemed to be a word in Remus’s vocabulary which was another irritating fact about him that made Logan break out in figurative hives.
Logan knew how Remus was.
He knew Remus.
It didn’t matter that he had never talked to Remus before today, that his thinly veiled contempt for his coworkers kept him from being willing to stand in their presence more than he was being paid to, that this fake affair was the first stupid relationship of any kind he had gotten outside of Patton and his son since his last boyfriend had dumped him on the night he was going to propose and hadn’t he thought he’d known him too? Isn’t that what led to all this? 
It didn’t matter. 
Logan was smarter, now. Logan was better now. Logan was--
“I don’t…” Remus said, trailing off as he stared at the messages popping up on Logan’s phone and Logan wondered why it felt like his lungs had shrunk right in his chest. “I don’t think you should be reading these right now.”
“He definitely should not!” Patton said, with a very convincing amount of forced happiness. “Hold that for him will you, Remus? Oh and why do you think you’re going to get fired tomorrow?”
Remus looked up at Logan and then at Patton and then back at Logan, like Logan was supposed to know what that meant in addition to every other stupid look he’d given Logan all evening. Logan shoved his glasses up to his hairline and rubbed his aching eyes, and yet somehow that still didn’t fix the pounding in his head or the exhaustion hollowing out his bones. It also didn’t make Remus disappear from the backseat, which was equally annoying, even though Logan hadn’t truly thought he was a shared apparition for him and Patton.
“You didn’t mention anything about today to your… what are you a fuck buddy?” Remus said.
And Patton laughed. 
Logan grabbed the door handle and yanked on it, but of course the ridiculous safety locks were engaged, and Logan had spent far too many sober years getting locked in this car to try to puzzle out the broken locking system in order to drunkenly throw himself out of the car. He was not in the habit of wishing for miracles, or even believing in deities, but he imagined that some powerful entity was finding ruining Logan’s life to be semi enjoyable.
“See this is why I can’t fire him!” Patton said through giggles and Logan thought maybe he was being addressed for this. Patton met Remus’s gaze through the rearview mirror and shook the last bit of water from his damp hair. “You make everything so entertaining!”
“What?”
Logan grit his teeth and yanked on the door handle again. “Remus, meet Mr. Hart, the CEO and your boss. Also put on your seatbelt.”
Remus blinked at them both, leaning between the seats and definitely not putting on his seatbelt. Logan counted backward from ten, reminding himself that one of the hiring requirements for Patton’s company has always been must be the stupid beyond belief. He’d known for a while that his coworkers were idiots on a good day, hazards to his health on bad ones, and yet somehow in the whirlwind of the day he’s had, Logan had forgotten that Remus counted as a coworker still.
“I’m not… getting fired?” Remus said, acting much like a computer after being turned on. “Why do you know my name then?”
Patton shrugged, flicking on his blinker to change lanes before the next light. “You have interesting ideas for your advertising strategy! Of course I would know your name! I’m sorry about vetoing that last one. I know Logan liked it, but I wanted to stick to the family-as-a-whole angle.”
“Patton,” Logan warned with an edge.
“Logan liked…?” Remus echoed, before turning towards Logan with a look of bewilderment that annoyed Logan far more than it had any right to. “You actually look at my shit?”
“Put on your seatbelt, Remus,” he said, because wasn’t it obvious that Logan looked at his things? Before the whole Robot incident Logan hadn’t had a problem with Remus at all: he was effective and efficient and the rumors were irritating but below him to indulge in. Before Remus had dragged him figuratively kicking and screaming into this mess, Logan approved the budgets that came with the projects Remus created.
He still did that, just with more anger than before. Petty feelings for Remus himself aside, his work was objectively good. 
Logan knew that about him.
“So!” Patton said over both of them, with his signature grin that Logan suspected he would still be wearing even if Logan decided to kill him right now. It must be the by-product of being controlled by rodents running on a wheel. “How was your volunteer work Remus?”
Remus froze in the back seat, going unnaturally still again. “Are you some kind of stalker-- uh sir?���
“Will you knock that off?” Logan snapped, which only made Remus’s shoulders jump straight to his ears. “And put on your seatbelt.”
“Just curious!” Patton said, ignoring Logan entirely. “Darlene is a good friend of mine! I make sure to send monthly donations to the organization since I don’t have a lot of free time to jump over and help.”
Remus didn’t say anything to that. He swallowed audibly and leaned back against the seat, dragging fingers through his wet hair and then tucked his arms in his own armpits. Logan pressed a palm to his forehead watching the street lights bend from behind his eyelids because that was easier than staring at Remus act like Patton was trying to pull his teeth out.
“You actually do volunteer work?” Logan said. “You don’t seem like the type.”
“Ha,” Remus said without any inflection. Logan thought that was the quietest that he had ever been. Where was that stupid ass smirk? Where was the stubbornness that pushed back against everything? Where was that loud voice and that confidence?
“Put on your seatbelt,” Logan said again.
“Why do you care if I wear the belt or not?”
“Remus put on your seatbelt or, so help me Newton, I will climb back there and put it on for you, myself!”
The air simmered from the acid in his tone, making the silence figurative chafe against his ribs. Remus stared at him, blinking slowly, with the street lights casting roving shadows on his face. His dark eyes were just so-- so--
Logan dug his nails into his palm. Why was it Remus Prince could make him feel like this? What gave him the right?
“It’s okay!” Patton said, setting the car to park. “We’re here anyway!”
Logan reached up and pulled his glasses back onto his face properly, but it still took him a moment to realize that they were near a bunch of townhouses, double parked outside one that Logan had considered moving into all those years ago when he had first been looking for an apartment for after college.
Remus too, apparently needed a moment to recognize the area. “We… are at my apartment? Holy shit, you are a stalker.”
Patton giggled, flashing Remus with his blinding smile and reached back to pick up Logan’s phone from his hands. “Thank you so much, kiddo! We’ll wait until you get inside all safe and sound, and I’ll see you tomorrow!”
“You will not,” Logan said. “Tomorrow you have a business deal two hours away to complete and if you miss it--”
Patton stretched back in his seat and let out a hugely exaggerated yawn. “But they’re so boring! Maybe I should bring Janus with me. He always makes my business deals entertaining. I love when he sets his snake on people. He looks so happy and he laughs and--”
Logan squeezed his eyes closed and recited the first twenty digits of pi in his head to keep from grabbing Patton’s squirrel run brain and slamming it into the steering wheel.
“Homicide is wrong,” Logan said.
“I’ll help you vouch for insanity,” Remus said. “I mean, tied together through a murder, and possibly hiding a body is much more juicy than a fake marriage that’s falling apart. We’d be the talk of the office.”
“They would not find any body that I hid,” Logan said. “Nobody would.”
Remus opened his mouth to say something more, but whatever it is he decided against it. Instead he slid over the seats and kicked open the door right behind Logan and stepped out into the night air.
“Thanks for the ride, Mr. Hart, sir,” he said, strangely formal, then squinted and added, “Daddy?” 
“I’m not firing you, Remus,” Patton said. “No matter what you call me!”
Logan ran his tongue over his teeth counting each and every one. Remus looked at him but ultimately finally adhered to that whole shutting up thing. He closed the door to Patton’s blue punch buggy and started towards the door to the apartments.
“Oh,” Remus said, and turned back at the last second. He knocked his knuckles on Logan’s window a few inches from where Logan’s gaze fixed itself on a light. Patton apparently knew more about what to do than Logan because he pressed the window lowering button and Remus reached his entire arm into the window to drop a small object right into Logan’s lap.
Logan caught it mainly due to reaction rather than skill and his skin tingled at the familiar item. Even in the dark, Logan’s fingers roll over the shape of the ring that had always reminded him of the worst day of his life. It was still warm from being in Remus’s pocket.
“I think that should stay with you,” Remus said, like it wasn’t a big deal at all. “You know… for the next boytoy you take to your sex dungeon or whatever nerds like you do on weekends.”
And then he turned around and fled towards the apartment building. Patton turned off the hazard lights and slipped back into traffic and Logan wondered if he would be polite enough to not comment if Logan started crying right then and there.
His throat felt swollen, his tongue too big for his mouth, and the headache thrummmmmmed painfully. 
Logan knew Remus Prince.
“You know that Remus Prince isn’t gonna be like him,” Patton said to fill the silence.
“Remus Prince isn’t like anyone.” Logan didn’t whine. To whine would be unbecoming. And childish. And embarrassing.
So Logan didn’t whine and Patton mercifully didn't call him out on his not-whining.
And neither of them mention the choked tone that Logan had for the rest of the night.
When Logan had seen his boss after he made Virgil cry, he hadn’t expected it to end up with him clutching that ring like a lifeline, but as he ran his fingers around the rim, he wondered if it had fit on Remus’s finger at all.
(Part Five)
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poptod · 4 years ago
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hey there ☺ do you think you can write a soulmate au with ahk where you hear each other's thoughts? and ahk thought he didn't have one all these years only to hear you while he's at the museum and then you try to find each other?
notes: wonderful idea. also i noticed my method of doing requests is do it almost immediately after i get it or wait four months before i get it done so sorry about that, but i hope you enjoy this!
WC: 1.5k +
There are many versions of yourself, all talking over one another in an attempt to control your mind for once. Sometimes it's hard to decipher if your actions are the result of someone in your head tugging you in a different direction. There is the person you believe yourself to be––what you imagine you come off to people as. There is also the person you truly are, and what people actually perceive you to be. So despite there being several voices, they are all reiterations of yourself in some way.
Except for one.
One of them speaks in a voice that is not your own, in a voice you've never heard anywhere but echoing in your skull. Since you despised asking questions as a child, it took you until you were twelve to realize that no, you weren't insane. It was someone who would love you, who had the potential to grow close to you simply by the strings of fate. Your soulmate. 
Someone who gave you nightmares for years.
'Get me out of here!' He would scream, sending your heart pounding while you tried to sleep as a child. 'Please, please, I need to see the stars,' he sobbed, 'I did nothing to deserve this!'
Once you grew old enough to deal with the screaming beyond what you thought was a schizophrenia disorder, nighttime brought a deep sadness to you. For some reason, your soulmate would never think during the day––which was incredibly odd––and during the night, the only time he was awake, he would scream and beg and cry until you could feel the hoarseness in your own throat. For your entire childhood, you stared up at your ceiling at night, eyes burning as you tried to calm the screaming.
It was all you could think about, as though the screams had muted your connection to him and strengthened his connection to you. Every now and then you would try to think, try to calm him down, but he never quite heard.
Then, one evening in winter, it stopped.
You were lying in bed, rolled onto your side as you once again listened to the man's yelling thoughts. But then he stopped, and both your hearts skipped a beat, followed by an incredibly clear thought: Thank the Gods, blessed Ra and Khonsu.
That evening you darted out of bed, jumping to your desk where you typed in with slamming, lightning-fast fingers, "khonsu." Ra you already knew––everyone knew Ra, and by connection Khonsu would probably also be a God. The only question you were left with was why you were hearing the thoughts of someone who worshipped Egyptian gods two thousand years after that civilization died.
As you continued your research, his thoughts continued.
They took my tablet?
Who are these people?
This man has no idea what he's doing, does he?
Why is he screaming at the Hun?
He's got my tablet.
About halfway into the night you gave up on your research, instead listening intently to the thoughts. With you entirely absorbed in your soulmates thoughts, you had little room to send your own words to him, which unbeknownst to you, would've reached him if you tried.
You weren't quite sure what to think of him for the following couple weeks. At first your assumption was that he was the insane one projecting his insane thoughts to you, but his quieter thoughts led you to believe there was something different in him. It is true what they say––geniuses are often tortured minds, and though you wouldn't classify your soulmate as a genius, he was clearly a knowledgeable philosopher of sorts.
He thought often of the human condition––the rise and fall of civilizations, the cruelty and the mercy of men that began the stories of bloodstained battlefields. Most of the time you just listened. Now that he wasn't screaming, his voice was soft and more of a comfort than you ever thought it would be.
Sometimes he got very sad. After a while you learned to not question the logic of his thoughts. Instead, you simply tried to understand what he meant, accepting him for where he was in his life.
I miss my brother.
I wonder what happened to my best friend.
I didn't think I would ever be this far from the Nile and the sun.
I abandoned my people, didn't I?
If only I could find where my sister was buried. Would that even make me feel better, though? What closure will I gain from seeing her tomb?
... if she even had one.
There's a melody going on in his head, right now. Something that could put you to sleep if you weren't currently working. It's nothing you've heard before, that you're certain of, and judging by the tone of it and your soulmate's previous thoughts, it sounds Egyptian.
Despite the museum being closed, most of the lights are still on. One of the night guards had a very strange insistence about it, but wouldn't tell you why. Oh well––questioning people is above your paygrade, since you aren't getting paid for this. It is volunteer work. Not that you mind; ever since realizing the voice in your head was Egyptian, you've gotten a palate for history. Currently, however, you're dealing less with history and more with files. The curator at this museum asked you to sort through the records of all the different exhibits that are here, or were once here at some point, which made a very large collection. Massive, actually––you're only sorting through A, and it's going to take you a couple weeks.
He's humming softly to himself. The tune carries into your work, and you allow yourself to enjoy his voice as you sort, going over every record to look for exhibits no longer displayed. For this you have a chart in your other hand––a log of all the exhibits currently public in the museum.
Although you're supposed to be concentrated on your sorting, you find yourself more entranced with the melody in your head, and the clearest thought that rings in your mind is, 'that is beautiful.'
The humming stops. Dead in its' tracks, about to reach its' peak, and it stops.
'My mother sang it to me,' he says, 'before I slept as a child.'
"Holy shit, are you talking to me?" You say out loud with bulging eyes before you can stop yourself. The moment you realize what you said, a bright blush coats your cheeks and you slap your hand over your mouth. But he doesn't seem to mind––actually, he laughs, and it's sweeter than summer sugar.
'You must be my heart,' he says in an astounded tone, and you can practically see his dream-filled eyes. You sit puzzled for a second before replying.
"Do you mean your soulmate?"
'Well... I suppose yes, that could be one of the names,' he says, and it only adds more onto the lists of questions you have for him.
"What is your name?" You ask first, hardly realizing you're still talking aloud to yourself.
'My name is Ahkmenrah," he tells you, and it takes less than a millisecond before the dots connect in your head. Instantly your eyes dart to the sheet in your hand, and near the top of the list, there it sits––Ahkmenrah.
'I know this must be confusing for you,' he continues, 'but I am from another time. While I lived then, I dreaded that I didn't have a heart, as I heard no voice. That fear has carried on into my next life, but now that you're here –'
"Oh I'm here alright," you say, unbelieving of both your circumstances and your unblinking acceptance at them. "I'm, like, two floors below you."
"WHAT?!"
A voice from above catches you, but as the same word rings in your mind, you realize with great glee that he instinctively yelled 'what' without thinking. You laugh, and the thought of your laughter reaches him.
Less than a minute later you can hear footsteps pounding down the stairs, landing at the closed door before the handle wrenches open. You quickly move to your feet, facing the man whose voice you know so well, who haunted your childhood and enchanted your adulthood. You can barely hide the grin that spreads across your face––whatever magic has brought you to this moment, you thank everything you can for it, your attention ensnared by the soft features of a 4,000 year old Pharaoh.
He pauses once he enters the archive, eyes finding yours immediately. His mouth hangs open slightly as he scans you, absorbs every feature on your body and face, and barely moves even to breathe for a good minute or two.
"I – I'm sorry, I j – I just realized I didn't ask your name," he says quietly, a small, ginger smile growing on his lips.
"(Y/N)," you say, but you don't quite know how your brain worked to make the word. You certainly didn't consciously choose to speak.
"I have waited thousands of years for you," he says, impossibly softer as he steps forward. He's really quite harmless, you realize––for all the fear you had of him as a child, he's nothing but a sweet-faced boy.
"Was it worth it?" You ask, and your voice cracks ever so slightly.
"My heart," he breathes out, affection lacing his name for you, "it was worth every second."
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