#logging off for the rest of the week
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Guys I am so sorry for dropping off the face of the earth, it will happen again
#uhhhhhh nothing to interesting happening rn just waiting for college to start next week#been trying to figure out what kind of art program I should use (Procreate or Clip Art Studio (aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa)#Skye I am so sorry for just dropping out I read the rest of the wip so I'll get to you about that......... eventually#uhhh what else#oh uh. legally allowed to drive now#been thinking about researching ADHD still no idea where to start#been trying to draw but uh everytime I open it my brain pfffttttttssssss#I would have loved to say I was taking an internet detox but uh no I was mindlessly scrolling reddit while logged out#I am. just here I guess#feel like somewhere along the summer my... I guess everything mentally started drifting off to the side#really mellow and kinda bored#cannot wait for college to start I need a routine I need something to do
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Ouroboros: The first year in development (+small update!)
On this day, a year from now, I sat in the stark light from my monitors, eyes bloodshot and hands trembling; and I clicked the post button. I then choked my pc to death and ran away screaming, scrambling into the corner of the couch on all fours, hissing at every shadow (only one of those statements is a lie).
It was 4 am and I had been scrambling to get the last details of the demo correct, mumbling to myself and reasoning with my dog. I was so happy to be writing again, after years of piddling around with lackluster projects. I never thought Ouro would be welcomed as it was, and to be honest, the fact that it was scared the living shit out of me. After the hype settled, and I sat watching the continuous stream of support that poured my way, I kind of crumbled. There was a long and dirty road of clawing myself out of self-doubt, impostor syndrome and perfectionism. Some part of me knew it was coming, since its very on par with how I am shaped as a person (sopping wet pathetic meow meow), but after climbing many hills on my ongoing healing journey, I felt like I was prepared for it.
Writing Ouroboros went from fun little sidequest to get my mind off becoming a sturdy part of society again (exhausting), to another workload, to form of therapy, then torture and back again. My writing journal is amusing to scroll through:
Things went from bad to...
worse,
until the storm finally weakened. Every entry in my journal from this point gets progressively more hopeful, more resilient against the bad days.
:> This was around the point where I decided I wouldn't give up, come hell or high water. The progress was slow, like bleeding stone and pulling teeth, but it was moving. By the turn of the new year I was battered and bruised, but still hopeful. And I know that this, these emotions that I went through, were way out of proportion for a hobby writing project, but with every ask that came through telling me about your MC's budding journey in Ouro, every gushing emotion you've shared with me, every gleaming piece of art, every kind word; every correcting one, too, this grew to something really precious to me. I wouldn't give it up for anything, even if it feels like I'm barely keeping my head above surface in this terrifying, stormy sea of a life.
I can't wait to see what comes next, even if the road is bumpy. All I know is that I will keep chipping away at this story with everything I got. And all I can say is that I'm so grateful for your continued support and patience, I barely have words for it. You are incredible. Thank you.
Now, enough of my bleeding heart. Get over here! I have some treats to share.
Mainly, it is the little update to the demo that I'd like to share; Idren/Ida's 101. I did my best to finish it today, but I only had an hour or two of effective worktime (excuse: I was outside for most of the day in bloody blizzard and it knocked me on my ass more than I'd like to admit). It is cut off at the different scene transitions, which I will add after I have some time to work on them this saturday. Id's 101 was the most complex out of all of them, so there is still plenty to explore and different outcomes to see. I hope you have fun!
To see it, go through Lena's scene and don't scream -> accept alliance -> visit archives. That will take you to the new content. CW for very emotionally charged arguments and... almost dying.
Play it here. Save often. (or wait until next week as I sadly couldn't finish everything on time for the anniversary) (I have done bare minimum playtesting, but I will fix any gamebreaking errors if there are any, immediately. There shouldn't be any, but you never know.)
A sneakpeek of the short I also will be working on on saturday:
It is sunny on the day of $!{leith}'s funeral. It is not supposed to be sunny. It is supposed to rain on bad days, and the wind is supposed to whip dry leaves into dancing columns. Thunder is supposed to rumble in the distance, and then right near so that the even the windows rattle with trepidation. But it doesn't. The sun lounges calmly on the perfectly still water of Riven's lake, glittering with winking light as the serene waves lick the edge of the populated harbor. There is chatter, too, not the moaning whispers of grieving people. Not a sob to be heard, but the flutter of a laugh and a joyous embrace of lovers right in front of you.
"People have forgotten, the sacrifice we made." Lyselin stands in full knight-hunter armor beside you, the silver gleaming in the stark light.
And some art of F!Leith that I have started:
♥ That's it. Know that I'm working as hard as I can (both on Ouro, and learning how to balance work around it, lmao.), even if I fall short sometimes, there ain't no quitting. See you soon!
#ouroboros-if#interactive fiction#And just like a year ago i'm about to throw myself on the couch and rest. maybe enjoy some video james#until next week!! I hope you enjoy stepping all over id's nerves. HEHE#dev log#writers update#wip wednesday#I gotta say that I'm really sorry for not managing to finish everything I wanted to.#one day I'll learn not to bite off more than i can chew. one day. but not today
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on the good news train today: I have finally finished the last chapter(!!!) of my Inklings challenge story, which marks the FIRST ever Inklings challenge story I've ever completed properly :'D coming in at 30,810 words (yikes) (it did get out of hand, I must admit), it is definitely not a short story, but it IS a piece that I think articulates a lot of what I've been thinking about lately re: love and death, and, considering everything, is probably something I needed to write. I am very happy!! It has been a wild ride, but a deeply clarifying one.
#ALSO i went to watch hadestown on friday and i came out of that a changed person. i will literally never recover from that experience.#hadestown also has significantly shaped this story along with HMA's little mermaid and goblin market and sir orfeo btw#anywayyyy i am going to BED i have midterms to study for tomorrow which i have been putting off for too long!!!!#inklings round 3#i'm bracing for impact this week (it's gonna be ROUGH) but i am holding to julian of norwich's wise wise words for this one#all shall be well and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well!#including midterms (of which i have TWO right after reading break. ain't no rest for the wicked and the righteous#don't need none and who knows where i fall) and boy problems and family worries#all SHALL be well!!#why my soul are you downcast! why so disturbed within me!#put your hope in God for I will yet praise Him my saviour and my God#magpie said think of jane austen's wise words too#(friendship is the best balm for the pangs of disappointed love) and she was right :)#im sitting on my little raft and paddling steadily onwards!#thank you for sitting on the step with me through the dusk and blue hours and dark days#all shall be well for pete's sake!!!!! all SHALL be well!!!!!#last year of school log
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i tried to sleep in since i'm technically working past close today but who woulda thunk it. ppl emailing at 7:55am with urgent questions. 🙄🙄🙄
#hikey#pls y'all i know it's the last day before winter break for most schools around here#a lot of people's jobs will also be closed for the next two weeks i know mine will#pls don't make me stressed up until the very second i get to log off for the year 😭😭#anyway that took AN HOUR so now i'm back in bed hopefully to at least rest for the next hour or so#but somebody's gonna have a very eepy possibly bratty baby on their hands at the end of the day 👀
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Took a nap 👍 headache is back 😕 pizza has been ordered ✌️
#i will probably log off for a while and answer the rest either later on or tomorrow#cus screen time is NOT helping#nap was good though#parents got home after a work trip thing and we are all too lazy to cook right now so pizza it is. which is fine i love it#i'll use this time to catch up on lotr. i am VERY behind on this week's chapter 🤧#can you believe there's only 4 sleeps until the first ritual of the year??? WHACK
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Roxie purring :)
#please don't mind the obnoxiously loud humidifier#this silly creature was half a pound and super six at 6 weeks old when i took her from the barn to a vet (the farrier scooped her off the#road)#and she is now a petite 6-7 pound gremlin who makes my heart full to bursting when she graces me with her attention#she IS a gremlin with unfortunate hand/ankle chasing issues but she also really loves lap time & shared naps#i felt so bad yesterday getting up after a short nap where she'd been sleeping on me and i was moving slow as i got up so she'd have time to#move and she just stayed on my legs like on a rolling log as i turned over from prone to supine like...Mother...you are resting further are#you not? I may lounge still longer upon thy bony shins? I crave the solid foundation under the soft bedding. Mother?#no. I'm sorry lunch break was over 10 minutes ago and i have to get back to doing nothing at work#(it was a slow day yesterday)#cat
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..
#not a great day#really tired and not entirely sure what to do about it this time#tho I did make an unexpectedly good grade on my earth science exam!! and I am so happy about that :)#on the flip side I turned in the weekly reflections we have to write for a different class and I can fairly confidently say it's the worst#one I've done so far :(#I'm fighting off the discouragement tooth and nail but it is a struggle tbh#think I might log out of tumblr for a bit#(actually I logged out of tumblr once already today but now I'm doing it again and posting about it first will hopefully#force me to stay faithful to my decision to stay away from this place for at least the rest of this week)#love you all. talk to you later.#pray for me please.
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Uh oh gamers we miiiiiight be getting a little sick
#just gotta hold out until friday#major stuff for work is done for this week now I just need to power through the rest of my group's lab report when I get home cause#no one has worked on it besides me lmao so I'm just gonna fuckin write it at this point idc anymore#it's like halfway done tbh so *shrug*#and then I can collapse on Saturday after I get my oil change for my car :D#and drop girl child off at her friend's I promised her that I would#data log: personal
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whhh they sent me off to do one case and now im just 🧍🏻♂️
#hrdjfjdjd idk if this is a blessing or a curse tbh its like OKAY#but also im just whhhhhhh let me do other thiiiiiings#its definitely different from my usual day but also I'm Scared LOL#at leasy thats 4/5 reports done. and its only the 5th out of 12 weeks#im so efficient i can slack off now LMAO#or well theres all these other online courses i have to do for the rotation#what if i slack off even more 🤭 queen of bare minimum#no like seriously 15 out of 19 cases done + did extra#4/5 reports done#all within 4/5 ish weeks out of 12 lmao#the rest of this is going to go sooooo smoothly minus the anxiety that is exams#anyways point is. now im bored from waiting lmao i dont like sitting around#ig back to studying till i meet someone abour the case lol#work logs#snow speaks
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me: I know I kinda had a breakdown last night but I can go to work today it’s just dilution plating!
the 32 4x4 dilution plates I have to individually pipette:
(not actually a photo of my plates)
#456 words#fhfhgh it was actually fine#at least fine so far? I’ve done the plates for the log phase I still have to do the ones for stationary#so I’m halfway through#knock on wood tho#but no it’s actually a fine task for this it’s a lot but it’s very repetitive and brainless once you set it up#but it is funny to be like ah yes should be an easy day#I just have to carefully and sterily pipette 2^9 individual droplets#lab tag#just in case I will tag it as a#vent post#for real though I should ask for the rest of the week off /:#maybe I’ll make candy buttons lol I think I’d be good at it
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speaking of For The Future leaks, obviously i wont be posting or reblogging anything i see and i AM blocking the shit out of accounts who ARE posting leaks. in fact all im going to talk about from now until the 21st is Now I’m Eyeing An Uncomfortable Question, which is not canon compliant with s3, and also my renegade shinobi prince deidara kamizuru headcanon because i am, At Last, ready to nail my headcanon to the church door of the nart fandom
#literally two weeks away and you fucking monsters cant have the respect to not spread leaks#abhorrent behaviour quite fucking frankly#genuinely do not care how excited people are. anyone spreading leaks needs to actively practice a modicum of self restraint#and if you cant be excited without actively going against the wishes of the creative team and spoilering the rest of us#genuinely log off go outside and touch some grass#i have the word 'spoiler' blacklisted and NONE of this shit is getting caught in my net#which is why im so salty. thankfully i can just avoid my tags and for you tab#but fucking hell. two weeks and people cant just wait
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I'm so beyond pissed off. Lame ass bitches this is a fucking joke
#once again we would rather have a convicted felon rapist man who can't even wip his own ass than a woman#im just gonna log off and read fanfics about robots 4 the rest of the week bc i don't want to see this corny ass shit rn#btw i better not see shit about “fuck the south” bc yall don't even know whats going on here
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My phone broke and I don't feel like reinstalling all my apps on my temporary one while I wait for it to get fixed and maybe,.... I do not need the fitbit app to log my water in and check my daily sleep and steps and active minutes and...
#many thoughts....#I think I'll still wear it because I paid for it so I *will* be getting the most out of it#but once it's gone it's gone I won't get another#I tried to cut back a lot of my phone use like I have a modded instagram which only lets me access dms and don't have tumblr app#but just because a habit isn't “bad” (like mindless scrolling cat reels) doesn't mean it is “necessary”#like I truly do not need to reach for my phone and log my water everytime I finish my glass of water#why do I need to know how many steps I did or how many active minutes I got can I not#simply do my best to be active and healthy ? I wouldn't be any less active without it or care about my sleep less etc#why do I need an app to tell me I didn't get 8 hours sleep to allow myself to rest if I feel tired#can I not just take a rest when I feel I need it#I'm not trying to be fake deep I'm just realising how obsessed I am with this thing and for why??? I can do all these things myself#I actually might stop wearing it I mean it was £50 and I got 2 years out of it so that's pretty good#I don't know how long it would take to properly die#okay I just looked it up and it says 1-2 years?? what is everyone doing to their fitbits WHAT???#mine is perfectly fine I haven't noticed any decline it's got one scratch on the screen (I fell over)#hm not sure what to do#I might take it off for a week and see how we feel#I could probably give it to my sister#but then again I don't really want to explain all this to her and my mum lol#it would be easier to quietly stop wearing it...#nattering
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Tbh, thinking about maybe adding Lucifer and Mammon back on my multi as request muses but not wanting to go through iconing then again.
Tho… I do think I still have mammon’s.
#⌜off the air⌟ . // ooc#I’ll have to look after work tomorrow cuz I logged off for the night .#three 12 hour shifts the rest of the week to make up for work I missed today#+ the four hours last Tuesday#yay me 💀💀💀
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from me to you — gojo satoru x f!reader
a/n: this takes place in chapter 268, soo sort of spoilers ahead? also long live gojo satoru; gojo leaves you a letter 🙏
“y/n-sensei, there is a letter for you as well!”
that catches your attention, and you look up at the first years. you tilt your head slightly, and yuuji hands you an envelope.
you gently take it from him, and the first thing you notice is “wifey” written on it then the doodle of satoru with his blindfold on. you feel your throat tighten, and your hands shake slightly.
you let out a small breath then shakily open the letter.
hey, honey!!
it first reads.
I feel like there is still much I didn’t tell you in our last meeting, so here I, your beautiful and handsome husband, am writing them down.
you swallow lightly, and a small smile appears on your face as you imagine satoru saying that, then you continue to the next line.
first, I changed all your computer passwords to variations of “satoruisthebest” at one point. your confusion was so cute!!
you quirk an eyebrow at the admission, but when you rack your brain, you remember that one day when you couldn’t log into your computer.
what you vividly remember was satoru being sat beside you the whole time, and now that you think about it. he was smiling so widely the entire time, letting out small chuckles every now and then. oh, that sneaky man.
“satoru, I am telling you it’s broken!”
“sweetheart, we spent over 2000$ on that. if it broke, then we could easily sue the company,” he chuckled, arm wrapping around your shoulder and pulling you closer.
“2 year guaranteed top performance my ass!”
you smile at the memory. it was pretty satoru of him to do that. your eyes then move to continue reading.
second, there are times when I would tell megumi that you would be coming with me, then he would turn and leave me when he found out I was tricking him.
your eyes glance up at said boy who is sat across of you. he made it out alive, despite everything. he suffered so much, but he made it.
it makes you relieved, and you can imagine satoru being bloody proud of him and saying something along the lines of ‘you handed sukuna’s ass to him, very cool!’
no matter how much megumi had frowned and grimaced at satoru’s presence or antics. it rooted itself as something—safe and familiar.
you can’t count on your hands the times when you and satoru would visit the siblings, and nobody really said it, but these meetings did all of you a favor, a chance to kind of wind down. maybe act like death might actually not be looming tomorrow.
it feels like just yesterday when megumi would cling to you when he got really sad or nervous, after so much time spent getting comfortable with each other.
he grew up well, you think, eyes gliding to next.
third, I hid your uniform every two to three weeks, so you have to stay with me.
at that, your eyes widen a bit. satoru’s schedule was pretty packed, but he somehow managed to squeeze time for quality time between you two.
it tugged on your heartstrings, and you made sure he knew how much you appreciated it, not a single space on his face left without a kiss. however, finding out that he went out of his way to make you rest and stay.
satoru’s care really showed in his actions, and you feel like this is the biggest proof of it.
“satoru, have you seen my uniform?”
“nope! maybe, it is a sign to stay home today? you’ve been working so hard, wifey!”
you cupped his face, pulled him down to your height, and kisses his cheek, “you’ve been working harder, ‘toru. let me take off some of the load at least.”
“we could both stay!”
“you’re kidding, right?”
“I already told yaga; I miss you!”
you try to stop the reminiscing further and try to compose yourself before reading the rest.
fourth, I’m the one who kept adjusting the thermostat. I just wanted an excuse to cuddle.
a fond yet melancholy smile appears on your face. you kinda figured that one out. satoru’s favorite pastime was cuddling, so it’s no surprise that he would go out of his way to create the need for it even further.
add to that, once you went to get some green tea and saw him from the corner of your eye teleport to the thermostat, click something, then teleport back to bed.
you figured that the room being chilly that night was not an exception in the middle of july.
“babeeee, it’s so cold! let’s cuddle!”
“maybe the problem is with the thermostat?”
“I checked! I think cuddling is the best solution.”
you giggle as you recall the moment, one of many similar. your heart feels a bit lighter as you go through the letter. something satoru managed to always do even in person.
he would plaster sticky notes, get you trinkets, and even pull pranks on other just to see you smile. feeling more encouraged, you keep on reading the letter.
then you feel your chest constrict so tightly that you might just throw up.
fifth, I am really gonna fucking miss you.
you read the line over again, and you purse your lip in hopes of silencing any noise that may come out as you feel the lump in your throat return, even worse than before. your breathing starts getting more difficult.
your grip on the letter tightens, and you find yourself thinking back to the good times. memories of late nights spent in each other’s arms, thinking about everything and nothing at once.
hushed whispers of confessions and quiet giggles as you reminisced on your highschool days. tight hugs when recalling the sad moments and the departure of a certain someone.
“you know, y/n, I think we might just be made for each other,” he said one night. you hummed and looked him in the eyes.
“three am thoughts?”
“three am admissions,” he grins slightly, “I am made for you, and you’re made for me.”
you remember him pulling you closer and kissing your forehead, while you teased, “and what would you need little old me for, so much that I got made?”
he feigns thinking then closes his eyes, burying his face in your shoulder, “grounding me.”
I love you. I really do, but you should know that already, right?
your eyes drift down to the corner of the paper, and that is when you feel your tears start free-falling. there is drawn a chibi satoru besides a chibi you and between them is a heart.
the chibi satoru is giving yours a big smooch, while she laughs. you never thought that the day your jealousy burns would be because of drawings, and drawings of you and your own husband, nonetheless.
“but wow, gojo-sensei is shit at writing letters,” you hear nobara remark.
megumi responds with a small chuckle, “I am fine with mine.”
“what about you, y/n-sensei?—”
the trio becomes silent as you let out a sob. a watery smile makes its way up your face as you kiss the letter gently and murmur, “so shitty.”
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I’m so boredddddd
#I’m pretty much done with work#I’m waiting for some emails and some meeting (that are next week) to continue with the rest of the stuff#and now I don’t have anything else to do#well I can actually finish some trainings and maybe organize my inbox and notes#but I want to lay in bed I’m sleepy#but my brother is working from home today so I feel bad#but I’ll probably log off a bit earlier than usual#mariana.txt
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