#locking me up tho?! I will destroy your house to get out my guy

[mammonprotectionsquad]

You know what's funny? So many people were convinced Sylus would be the biggest red flag. And then they drop Caleb... My guy seriously needs to chill with his obsession xD the amount of times I went "... I don't wanna, be here. Zayne? Sylus? Pick me up! Now!" sfurhjb

Compared to Skyhaven, the N109 Zone felt much more chill which is kind of ironic lol. I'd much rather spend more time there with mobs, gangs etc than go back to Skyhaven and deal with the fucking Fleet

[loonylooly]

at this point i'm wondering what sarah is thinking when writing her love interests, like ok it's clear she finds them hot but like....are they good people

Rhys:

UTM lap dance shenanigans

throwing Feyre into danger constantly (Weaver, destroying cauldron, getting the book from Adriata, etc etc)

Still not doing jack shit about wing clippings in Illyria?? Emerie is right there, Rhysand, go enforce your damn laws

Insulting his wife's sister constantly

Almost killed his wife's sister cause she dared give her important medical information

Locked Lucien (MY BOY!!) in the house of wind

Locked Nesta in the house of wind

Didn't give Mor any warning that time he made her face her abusers and she cried i think (ngl i forgot most of it)

Ignoring Hewn City even tho...Kier is like the only bad guy we've seen from there?? Surely there's decent people in Hewn City, don't gotta make everyone suffer

Nesta windhaven kidnapping intervention so she stops spending Rhys' money (if it was really about her own sake, they would've put a stop to it much earlier)

Seemingly alienates everyone in Feyre's life that could and would stand up to Rhys for Feyre's sake. Lucien? Nah, shoo. Nesta? Nah, shoo. Weird thought but Tarquin? Yeah, makes her steal his book.

And last but DEFINITELY not least; demon baby wife death

HE COULD'VE TOLD FEYRE... OR ATLEAST NOT THREATENED TO KILL HER SISTER FOR TELLING HER WHEN HE HOULD'VE TOLD HER IN THE FIRST PLACE??

THERE'S PROBABLY MORE BUT MOVING ON

Cassian:

Barely ever stands up for Nesta in the IC

Aids in kidnapping Nesta to Windhaven so she stops spending whysand's money

Laughs at Nesta when she falls down the stairs

Aids in punishing Nesta for daring to tell Feyre important medical info

Constantly going agaisnt Nesta's wishes and trying to "save her" when she doesn't want him to

That one time Azriel asked Nesta if Cass had pushed her down the stairs...Like are we gonna ignore that?? Personally I'd have a quarter life crisis if my closest friend, who is like my sibling and has known me most of our lives, seriously entertained the idea that i would physically assault the girl I like

general aggressiveness all of ACOSF

aids in bulldozing Nesta's apartment

Rowan goddamn Whitehorn (Who I've yet to see people bashing him somehow,,, HoF rowan was like if ACOSF cassian had a horrific murder baby

Left his pregnant mate alone during a war cause he wanted to prove himself....like..idk man if i had the choice between war and taking care of my pregnant wife i'd pick the wife (did he know she was pregnant? i've kind of forgotten by now)

Rowan's kid would've been hundreds of years older than Aelin.....just think abt that

Literally everything he did to Aelin during training in HoF

Their argument where he PUNCHED HER IN THE FACE

Threatened to whip Aelin...I repeat....Threatened to whip Aelin, an ex-slave....

Told Aelin it'd be better if she died 10 years ago (unprovoked?? bitch you met her like 2 weeks ago just cause she's getting on your nerves doesn't mean you gotta wish DEATH upon her)

Literally was relieved to find out she was only 19 because if she was a few years older she could've been THE CHILD OF HIS BEST FRIEND.

No issue with marrying the cousin of his best friend's child....Imagine if he hadn't met Aelin first.. If he'd met Aedion first, Aelin would've always been the relative of his friend's son to him

FOR THE RECORD i hate all of the SJM age gaps but rowan and aelin's specifically irks me because Aelin LITERALLY CALLS HIM OLD throughout the WHOLE SERIES

Literally tells Aelin he doesn't care about what she's been through and that she is nothing to him after she confronts him for leaving her

Puts Luca in danger by sticking him on to a frozen lake with a monster inside where he'll DIE if Aelin can't save him

Funnily enough, some of the only seemingly decent person guys in SJM 1. Are completely forgotten about in the books or 2. SJM had to make them violently unlikeable

Like we've got:

Tarquin, seemed like a pretty good guy, rightfully pissed that the IC stole his family heirloom, shows up like twice in the books (LET HIM COME BACK SARAH I LOVE HIM)

Tamlin, was pretty decent in book 1, was made violently unlikeable in book 2 onwards

Chaol, very strong morals, generally a good person, loves his wife, made violently unlikeable and boring in late CoM, HoF, and QoS (ToD is one of my favorite books in the series, will praise ToD till the day I die, my boy EARNED his own book)

Aedion, seemed like a good person, strong morals, spent years trading his dignity for the sake of Terrasen, loved his cousin above all else, made violently unlikable in KoA (even tho I think he was justified in being angry about it, i'd be SO pissed)

Sartaq, good guy, strong morals, Nesryn's chapters were some of my favorites in ToD, Sartaq is one of my favorite SJM love interests, i'll never forgive author lady for forgetting about him in KoA (tho i guess she forgot about everyone from ToD? Yrene and Chaol are the only important ones, she barely even mentions Nesryn even though Nesryn's BEEN an integral part of the gang since QoS, giving her the Suki from ATLA treatment)

[miimo96]

Thoughts on Re:Zero S3 episode 4

Oh so that's how we're starting this off, already with the Scuffed shit huh, also what do you mean we won't be able to handle them, they look LITERALLY like minions, Not final bosses

I've only seen this guy twice, and I already HATE his ass, Definitely becoming one of the worst fathers in anime history

I swear the more we see Satella the More I wanna know about her, like she is So intriguing to me, and her whole connection with Subaru is 1 of the greatest mysteries to me, because what is it with her and him, Why did she curse HIM of all people and basically make him I think into her archbishop, also why does she want him to kill her?🤔

Oh No. No no no no this cant be happening, Please don't tell me mimi's going to die, PLEASE! Poor Garf's already been through enough 😭😭

So lemme get this straight, you can't exactly move the Witches remains otherwise if you do the whole town will be destroyed, because the witches remains house a special power that could wind up destroying the entire city? Just WHO EXACTLY DID YOU KILL!?

IT'S TYPHON'S REMAINS!? as in the Witch of PRIDE? It's been a while so I can't exactly remember if that's her but if so, you're telling me you guys killed a KID!? 😨 What is wrong with y'all! Also why hasn't Subaru tried offing himself yet, if shit is this Bad, why hasn't he tried going back to fix everything since he knows he'd be expecting it, he seemed pretty eager to that last season when he found out Rem lost her memories, only for it to not work because his Save file got updated, but if his Save file hasn't gotten updated yet he could still do it

Oh my boy Garf going THROUGH IT, also SHE'S ALIVE!? HOW? no like seriously how with a wound like that, that Definitely looks fatal, unless you're Zoro I don't think anyone can survive that, anyway I'm glad she's alive tho 😔

Yo Garfield has to Lock in because this shit with him seeing her makes absolutely No sense, like he should be fighting with the intent to kill, not hesitat, like wtf is up with him, why does THIS bother him so much

NOOOOO! Even though we've already seen the aftermath, it still hits Hard like DAMN IT! Also I wanna throughly apologize for clowning those guys, I was unaware they were Like That...

Uh DUH! I'm not leaving her in his hands, that dude got me effed up if he thinks he's getting away with taking her, as soon as he's done with this little side Quest, He is going to DIE

Look at my boy Subaru getting the RESPECT he deserves ^^

also this little moment between him and Julius was so sweet, like even tho he's a Smug cocky bastard, he's still a pretty good guy, glad to see them finally getting along ^w^

A F*cking DRAGON!? Nah they wilding now

I don't think I've talked about it before, but Subaru actually doing shit is CRAZY, like the character development this season is insane, I have not seen him act like this before, Normally he usually just relies on others and plays support, but the fact that he's actually playing a part during the fight is crazy! The character development for this man ^^

Oh We caught your ass with a set up, now my boy's about to slide you like a baseball game, in simple terms: this is GG's

I've said it before and I'll say it again, Regerntion powers are scary as Hell when YOU'RE the one without them

OMFG! Do you know the amount of PAIN you would be in after landing on a Busted up leg, not only did he land on it, but the fact that he's also still STANDING is amazing, nah Subaru's an absolute G at this point

Hold up he wasn't wearing green before...(processing) What did you do to Otto you bastard? 😡

Hold up that wasn't his name before, also why is he saying "We" all of a sudden, wtf is going on, seriously 😕

Let's go Subaruuu!!! Time to avenge Rem bitch! ^^ Next episode's about to go crazy, and I'm totally here for it >_<

BONUS:

Who the eff starts a conversation like that, Buddy She JUST woke up

[void-speaks]

Here's some notes I took when replaying both games:

• The school where Eugene and everyone else goes is located uptown

• Joy, Oliver and Luke know a person named Emerson. Luke's friends with them.

• Finley and Tatum switch between nicknames, but Finley mostly refers to Eugene as Hoodie, Tatum – Glasses.

• There's a bell above the office door.

• Apparently even mortals' ghosts can be torn to pieces.

• Wait, THEY CAN BUY FURNITURE???

• Wait, so River knows that Boss is emotionally unstable and jokes about it? Or am I stupid?? And she's also serious about it???

• I GOT IT!!! Mortals' ghosts are bright colors, while regular ghosts are dark colors. Like blue, yellow, pink, ect and purple, vindigo and red??? You get the point.

• Other side is also referred to as "next world"

• Boss doesn't like being interrupted (same).

• No one knows what happens when you cross over.

• So, despite being "against" the idea of taking care of a mortal, Boss kept Eugene.

• Monsters weren't previously hiding in dreams. That started happening after the office was opened.

• Joan is against the idea of exploiting kids (ofc she is).

• Boss called Eugene "junior", while River – "newbie"

• Can ghosts make themselves visible to mortals???

• Eugene (at least younger) is very dramatic

• Hayden said something about shamans. That's a little sus of you, Mr. Boss.

• I assume Hayden was constantly tired when he was a living boy because of his sickness.

• When excited, Hayden starts rumbling (same).

• Cats see ghosts.

• All new ghosts have to learn how to fly and they might feel sick doing some things.

• When in a dream ghosts can feel what the dreamer feels.

• Both Charlie and Eugene consider Hayden smart.

• Monsters can consume humans and take their memories (not only humans).

• The dreams ghosts create can be cleaned.

• Linda has a dreamcatcher like me!!!

• Sean hides whenever Boss is nearby.

• An alive mortal's ghost is otherwise called a spirit and a soul.

• Boss' type of humor is really just cannibalism. And honestly? Slay dude.

• Joy and Oliver won't step on Luke's side if he bullies someone for no reason, even tho they're friends.

• Linda had trouble sleeping and eating.

• It's harder for ghosts to move during the day.

• River was looking after Eugene since the very beginning.

• Apparently there isn't that many ghosts who didn't become monsters.

• And all of the ghost who didn't become monsters are pretty close.

• Eugene used to stutter when he felt insecure.

• Charlie haunted Oliver before.

• Charlie only actually harmed other ghosts.

• I WAS RIGHT??? BOSS DOES WEAR HEELS???

• My guy can't sit straight (same).

• Finley and Tatum were probably starved by their asshole of a father. And also locked in the house.

• Finley and Tatum go to school.

• Ghosts can change their bodies, such as: multiplying their body parts or stretching them.

• Eugene got a wound from the fight with Jack.

• He also probably had to get new glasses.

• His main problem is thinking he's not good enough and that's why he hates himself.

• With the whole thing going down (the fight with Jack), Boss was watching from the beginning.

• Charlie is referred to with he/she/it/they pronouns

• Joan didn't destroy the scissors.

• Ghosts can't lie?

• The soul is made up of memories, emotions, beliefs. Basically your inner self.

• They let out Charlie to protect Eugene (and also to replace River)

• The things in mortal world react to ghosts' actions.

• You become a monster after losing your mind.

• Boss and River had a bit of a fight at the beginning.

• River has gone crazy. In all ways.

• There are 3 horror stories at the station. One of them is Charlie.

• Seems like Boss' relationship with River only got worse over time.

• So it seems like Joan figured out the truth at the very beginning.

• Hayden's 6.

• Black rope does magic stuff. River probably got it from our favourite shaman.

• DO ALL OF THEM KNOW ABOUT THE PLAYER???

• River and Hayden taught Eugene how to fly.

• Charlie seems to be the only one who swears.

• Charlie said something about a spot on her foot.

• Bill might be disabled.

• Mike doesn't have a dad, has younger siblings and is poor (or maybe Charlie's family is just wealthier??)

• Charlie is a classic example of the "they have it worse" mentality.

• Joan's second daughter is named Dorothy.

• River somehow felt Brian's ghost being born trough her hair

• It's easier to see a ghost's memory if they're being emotional.

• Seems like while being alive River was single.

• River used to wear earrings

• Joy owns a cafe I think? And it's also near the police station.

• In Boss' memory, at the beginning, seems like everyone is avoiding even just looking/standing near him.

• Boss was basically a sacrifice to stop the "strange occurrences"

• The lady is his mom (mommy issues confirmed).

• So he did just leave the office and that's it.

[hangezoeenthusiast]

Minecraft

m!reader

pronouns:he/him

fluff

person: sapnap (im not going to use his real name, since he is uncomfy with people using it)

words: 1530

warnings: cursing, yelling

you were at sapnap's house on his bed, watching him stream and play minecraft. he was trying to speedrun minecraft. "hey babe, what'cha doing?" he asked. "just watching you." you replied.

"you wanna come over here?"

"but what about the face cam."

"chat could give less of a shit, or i too."

"ok then babe, let me just get some water."

you went to the kitchen to get a glass of water, then went back to the room. you grabbed one of sapnap's extra chairs and sat next to him. "hey chat, how you doing." chat spammed y/n so many times, you could barely see anything else in there.

"hey my boyfriend, how you doing." a dono said

"im doing good y/nismyboyfriend, good name btw, how are you?"

"heyyyy, your MY boyfriend." sapnap whined. "it's ok baby, im yours and your mine." chat spammed simp, then sapnap buried his head in your heck. "y/nn, make chat stop bullying me." "chat stop bullying my WONDERFUL boyfriend." you emphasized.

after that little situation, you just sat in your chair, zoned out, and just watched. "babe, hey babe, baby are you ok?" sapnap asked. you jumped at the sound of his voice, "sorry, i zoned out, what were you saying." "damn, im not that important to you then that you zoned out." sapnap pouted. "oh shut up you big baby."

"excuse me, don't make me fight you bitch." "sapnap, do you realize i took karate as a kid right?" "that was years ago." "so sapnap, i can still beat your ass with a blindfold." he looked shocked and amazed at the same time. "ok then." he said shyly.

you looked content (like this face 😏), "so what you needed sapnap?' "oh yeahhh, do you want to play minecraft on here?" you were absolutely shit at minecraft, you already tried once, you weren't going to try again. (flashback to the conversation you had with sapnap the first time you ever played minecraft)

"sapnap, how do you move on this thing, this is so complicated" "it's just because your a boomer y/nnn, here, its wasd." "EXCUSE ME SIR IM NOT A BOOMER, APOLOGIZE RIGHT NOW." "NO I WON'T APOLOGIZE, YOU APOLOGIZE." "WHY DO I HAVE TO SAY SORRY, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO WRONGED ME." "AHHHHHH" you guys are so weird :/ /j

"no, im not, im shit at it, you made fun of me plenty of times, no, no times infinity." "come on baby, that was what, like 1 time." "YEAH, ONE TIME TO MANY." "pwease, for me." he whispered. you looked at his pouty face and didn't crack (MOMMA DIDNT RAISE NO SOFTY /j). "ok then, but the second you make fun of me, i will beat you up so bad that-" sapnap interrupted you, "THANK YOU SO MUCH BABE, but i wont guarantee that i won't make fun of you." he got up, put you in his chair, and standed behind you. "now y/n, the last time you played, you sucked absolute balls, so NOW i will guide you through everything, yaknow, be your sensei." you made a straight face, and looked behind you, seeing him look at you as well.

you had a staring contest. both eyes were locked, eyes squinting, trying to withstand the others. his blinked first, "YES I WON, WHAT'CHA GONNA DO SNAPCHAT, WHAT'CHA GONNA DO?"

"just forget everything that happened in the last 10 seconds, let's do this thing." he guided you towards everything, like moving around, crafting, fighting zombies and skeletons, and even breaking blocks. you were doing fairly well, but there was one, no two, no three things you absolutely sucked shit at that you HAD to master. one was mlg watering, two was building a nether portal, and the last was fighting the ender dragon.

you goal was to beat the game and make new records ;), well, you did, but not without some challenges.

1. mlg water

you crafted a bucket and went to the nearest river/sea. you filled up the water bucket. "hey sapnap, what do we do next?" "next, my darling y/n, we shalt try to mlg." "so what do we do?" "we first, tower up." you pulled out your stacks of blocks, and stacked all the way up to the sky. "so what do i do next?"

"so pull out your water bucket, and then when you almost hit the ground, place the water on you." you jumped of the tower, and failed mlg. it was so ridiculously bad, that goddamn satan wouldn't let you in hell for that little stunt. "NOOO, WHAT THE FUCK, I PLACED IT BELOW ME." "You didn't do it good enough." "SHUT THE FUCK UP SAPNAP."

2. nether portal

obviously if you failed mlg, you would SUCK at making nether portals. "since you fucking sucked at mlg, lets try making a nether portal, it's kinda easier, but still hard. so what you do is make that shape there" "oh no, do it there." "nooo y/n, you're doing it wrong, do it that way."

you made a nether portal, but you obviously messed up, there was cobblestone everywhere. you pickaxed it, but that didn't come with a good thing. "NOOOO, FUCK, WHY WAS THERE LAVA." yeah, that's right, under the cobblestone was lava, and you fell in it, barely salvaging any of your items. well that attempt went horribly

3. ender dragon

after getting to the nether, getting blaze rods and converting them into blaze powder, trading with hoglins to get ender pearls, not having enough ender pearls from the hoglins, killing endermen and dying from them while getting ender pearls, crafting eye of enders, finding the stronghold, placing the eye of enders in the stronghold frame, while dying along the way, you finally got into the end.

finally all this suffering and mocking from sapnap would end, and you would finally beat the game. but, obviously, with you having little to no minecraft skills, it came with A BUNCH of problems, like destroying the crystals, making sure you wouldn't anger endermen, avoiding the dragon of dealing damage to you, and flying into the void.

1. destroying the crystals

sapnap ordered you, "use your bow to destroy the crystals." you aren't and weren't no minecraft god, so you couldn't destroy all the crystals, but you did one of them tho 👍

so he gave you another try, to use blocks to climb the side of the pillars, and destroy the crystals that way. you died, to put it shortly and bluntly. "AHHHH," you screamed. you got exploded by the crystals. that happened with EVERY. SINGLE. CRYSTAL you happened to try to destroy.

but eventually, you destroyed all the crystals.

2. endermen

after you destroyed the crystals, you had the task off not angering the endermen by eye contact. that went horribly wrong. sapnap had the courage to tell you that you couldn't look them in the eyes, and that you would anger them if you would. "WHY ARE THEY CHASING ME," you shouted. "y/nn calm down, just kill the ones that are angry at you."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, ALMOST ALL OF THEM ARE CHASING ME." you overaggerated. "no, it's almost 3 dude, just kill them."

you killed them, and then you had the task of the dragon.

3. the dragon dealing damage

sapnap took control of shooting the dragon in the air with the bow and arrows. when the dragon would come down to the middle, you would hit their head (im doing the enderdragon as nonbinary, yaknow, they are a lesbian, nonbinary lesbians are vaild :D).

4. the void

the last thing you had trouble with in the end was the void. the darkless pit that leads to nothing except death. the dragon was throwing you around like a little puppet, you doing nothing except being flung around the place. "FUCK, FUCK YOU DRAGON," you screeched. the dragon was getting on your last nerve.

after all the trouble,and death, you finally beat the dragon. "YESSS, YESS, FUCK YOUR DRAGON, SUCK ON MY 10 IINCH DICK." sapnap cheered you on through your little victory speech. "bye chat, imma stop streaming now, since it has been 6 hours, we need to go to sleep." "bye, chat, love you guys."

you and sapnap ended the stream, feeling exhausted. you went to do your skin care routine, and found sapnap waiting for you in bed. "how was the stream y/n, did you enjoy it?" "yeah, i enjoyed it, only the dying part i hated."

"it's ok, babe, we can try it another time, maybe next time you won't die as much, at least you made a new record."

"what record sap?"

"the record of dying the most in minecraft." you slapped him around his head, not finding his joke funny. "hey, don't hit me, i'm fragile."

"sorry you big baby." you responded. you both got under the blanket, and snuggled (i don't know why, but the word snuggled is enchanting), huddling together, and basking in each others warmth. even if you died 4,234 times in minecraft, at least you had your favorite person at your side while doing it.

[mlynnuwu]

✨✨

Prologue? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

"So you work as a janitor now?" M suddenly appeared behind yuu scaring the shit out of them and their ugli ass cat.

"EJVREKDH M, ROSE, HEY HI!" yuu said clutching the broom that they're holding. "And for your question, sadly yeah but at least I'm getting paid??" Yuu chuckled nervously "you're underpaid that's what" M mumbled.

"Well if you want, I don't mind helping you like clean up your dorm after lessons are done, and I don't need like to get paid, take this as uh...fellow other world people help...?"

"Smooth one M"

"SHUT🥲"

"Really?? Honestly as much as I don't wanna bother you but the dorm is VERY bleh and your guys help would mean the world to me!" Yuu said as they bow to the duo.

"Ye it's not like we really have much to do rather than studying, OMG WE CAN BE STUDY GROUP 😼😼😼" Rose said with sporkle in her eyes ✨✨✨.

Omg friendship so cute✨✨

But it was soon destroyed by a certain ginger.

ED SHEERAN-

Lmaooo jk it's ace.

"The bitchboy here 😳" M whisper to rose.

"Ew gingers" Rose whisper back.

Before they knew it ace and grim are fighting and burn the queen of hearts statue. Whoops!

Well there y'all go cleanin the windows. (Excluding M and Rose) (well they are there but just for support lmaooooo)

Then the chase scene happens, and this time M and Rose helped chase the childe 2.0 (mostly because they really wanna meet deuce) (oh did I say they? I meant mostly M)

And whoop! Would you look at that the chandelier fell down! God you guys really need to stop destroying stuff.

Well see ya! Hope you guys got back alive from the dwarf mine!

♥*♡∞:｡.｡　　｡.｡:∞♡*♥

"Ughh...my everything hurts" yuu said as they practically dragging their feet under how much running and screaming from the dwarfs mine, "you can say that again henchmen"

As they open the door, they are greeted by a sight of M AND ROSE MAKING OU-

Jk M was sweeping and Rose is laying on the couch reading a book she borrowed from the library.

"Yahoo Yuu! We cleaned up the place while you were gone!" M said waving to them as she sweep the dust.

Cue yuu on the ground kneeling while crying thanking God for sending two beautiful angels to them. (Aww np yuu 🥰🥰)

"You guys can crash in this dorm if you want, it's getting dark and all, and it's the least I can do for helping clean up the dorm 🥺🥺🥺" Yuu said as they give the Mrose duo puppy eyes, well at least they think it's a puppy eye Yuu eyes are blurry and all.

"WOOOO SLEEPOVER!!!" Rose yells as she pulls uno card out of her pink hair.

"let's play uno 😼"

"Have you been keeping stuff in your hair-"

"No no it's ok let her do her stuff🥰🥰"

"I feel like you guys are forgetting about me-"

Flashback to before Yuu got home from the dwarf mine.

"Lessons finally over, let's go to the ramshackle dorm now" M said as she stretch her bones, "hmmm may I ask why we do this tho? 😼😼"

"Ok ok this is my plan, if we keep having sleepover at ramshackle, it would be a habit of us to not be in our dorm and our housewarden wouldn't be too suspicious when we aren't in the dorm, that would be very useful for me in chapter 4, with jamal locking everyone in the dorm and all 😊😊" M suddenly stopped and that made Rose turn back at her.

"And besides, if we keep having sleepover we would be with each other more rather than being separated by our dorms 🥰😊"

"AWWWWW M😳😳😳 UR SO CUTE🥰🥰" Rose said as she tackle M in a hug.

And after they arrived to ramshackle, reality suddenly hits and realize that they literally cannot go back home, to their jobs, house, and shows.

✨✨Omg breakdown huddle 😊😊✨✨

The ghost was like 👁️👄👁️

Also slight M x Yuu x Rose?? 😳😳

Mrose harem?? 😳😳

[spoondrifts]

long post ahead I'm sorry-

crack au where Jonah Magnus is a good guy but everything keeps going wrong and he spends all of his time running around trying to stop his employees from diving headfirst into their Fuck Up™ of the week

in this au Jonah is almost entirely incompetent but he's got the exasperated parent thing down enough to make up for his lack of braincells

he's also at least 7% dumber than he is in canon

s1 Jon: please call pest control there are so many worms

s1 Elias: I already did

Jon: and??

Elias: they ate them

Jon: the worms?

Elias: the pest control guys. the worms ate them

Elias spends the entirety of season 2 desperately trying to convince Jon that none of them killed Gertrude (in this au Gertrude just had a stroke or something in the tunnels). Elias stops Jon from destroying the table but a week later something heavy falls on it and the NotThem escapes anyway. Elias bashes in Leitner's head with a pipe after mistaking him for the monster and Jon gets framed.

now Elias has to convince this hunter that Jon is innocent while Jon runs around and harasses various fear avatars (who are all very amused with Elias' wayward Archivist). Jon assumes Elias knows nothing about all this bullshit because Elias is just his weird and uptight boss who accidentally killed someone, he can't possibly know that there are literally fear gods ruling over them

olive ⚰ has named the group 'Avatars ✨'

JMagnus 👀: Jude please don't hurt him. I'll explain everything when he gets back to the Institute.

🔥: too late

JMagnus 👀: What?

🔥: too late

🔥: burned him

[JMagnus 👀 is typing]

JMagnus 👀: Where is he now.

🔥: going to mike

JMagnus 👀: Mike Crew???

🔥: ya

Elias RACES to Mike's house but he. he fucking misses them. the Beholding helpfully tells him that they're all going back to the Institute so Basira and Daisy can interrogate him, which isn't ideal, he'd really like to not go to jail, so he drafts up an employment contract on the way back and barely manages to escape the whole thing with his life intact.

then he explains everything to Jon because if Jon is going to end up being the Archivist, being uninformed won't do. Jon becomes the Archivist completely on accident and Elias is desperately trying to make all of this work because, haha, the Unknowing is coming up, and Elias is not in the fucking mood to deal with clowns.

olive ⚰ has named the group 'all that is terror uwu'

spidey🕸: lmfaooo jonah how do you make an archivist on accident

JMagnus 👀: He stumbled into it. All I can do now is ensure he doesn't die.

JMagnus 👀: Or get further injured by the rest of you.

🔥: woops

🎭: hEy gUyS lOnG tiMe nO sEe

🎭: gEt iT eLiAs

🎭: sEe

JMagnus 👀: Beholding puns are not amusing from a manifestation of the Stranger.

🎭 has named the group 'eLiAs bE niCe tO niKoLa cHaLlEnGe'

🔥: haha

spidey🕸: I'm sure Nikola will be on her best behavior

🎭: yEaH i wOnT kiDnAp yOuR aRcHiViSt

[JMagnus 👀 is typing]

mike n ike: hey guys what'd I miss

🔥: arent you dead

mike n ike: yeh but I came back

JMagnus 👀: NIKOLA ORSINOV WHERE IS JONATHAN SIMS

🔥: can't you see haha

mike n ike: heh "see"

JMagnus 👀: NIKOLA

spidey🕸: wow he must be pissed

spidey🕸: he left out the punctuation

JMagnus 👀: I WILL BREAK ALL OF YOUR PLASTIC BONES WHERE'S MY ARCHIVIST

🎭 has left the chat.

JMagnus 👀: what the FUCK

since he's still a coward Elias sends Michael to go fetch Jon, only finding out after the fact that he very nearly almost signed Jon's death warrant. Elias is now speedrunning Jon's development because fuck the Unknowing is coming up really quickly and Tim is a self destructive mess and Melanie keeps trying to stab Elias and Martin is a pining idiot and goddammit he didn't sign up for this

Elias prepares Jon the best he can for the Unknowing, because even though he knows the ritual will fail, the Circus can still cause a considerable amount of damage and he needs them out of the way.

the Unknowing happens. Jon ends up in a wack ass coma, Tim is dead, Daisy's in the coffin, and Basira is starting to look like the better choice of Archivist because jesus christ Jon has no self preservation instinct. Elias doesn't get arrested this time around but his ex husband starts coming by the Institute and fucking with all his employees. and the Flesh is attacking. jesus. goddamn.

olive ⚰ has named the group 'bully elias'

JMagnus 👀: Why are you all so mean to me? I'm arguably the nicest one here.

🔥: ur joking right

Peter Lukas: you're not nice you didn't buy me an anniversary gift 😢😢😢

JMagnus 👀: I was busy.

Peter Lukas: doing what

JMagnus 👀: Stopping the Flesh from destroying my Institute. Besides, you didn't remember my birthday.

Peter Lukas: you're 200 years old how could I remember 😓

helen!!!!!: We All Know I'm The Nicest One Here!!

JMagnus 👀: How did you make your text that colorful?

helen!!!!!: IDK

JMagnus 👀: Liar.

helen!!!!!: That's Literally My Job

olive ⚰: hey eli your archivist just woke up I think

🔥: ew why

helen!!!!!: How Delightful!! Maybe I'll Throw Him A Glad You're Alive Party!!

olive ⚰: should we invite him to this chat since he's an avatar now

Peter Lukas: no 🙅 🚫❌

Peter Lukas: I hate archivists 😤😤

olive ⚰: still mad about gertrude huh

🔥: were all still mad about gertrude

🔥: but jons fine once you burn some manners into him

JMagnus 👀: Can you all please stop hurting Jon? Or talking about hurting him? I would like my Archivist to not acquire any more scars.

🔥: damn

Peter Lukas: damn 😔

Elias keeps trying to teach Jon how to pick certain victims to feed off of because personally he has no qualms about feeding from innocents but Jon!! actually trusts him!!! so Elias doesn't want to push Jon into making decisions that will offend his moral sensitivities.

things are actually going okay for a while. Elias starts going home at a reasonable time in the evenings and Jon is actually getting some sleep. and then-

Elias is having a nice dream about Peter trying to fish Simon Fairchild out of a sky filled with eyes when he abruptly sits up in bed, wide awake.

"Ah, fuck," he says to Peter, who is laying on the floor where it is Lonelier™. "Jon's doing something stupid. I Know it."

Peter's mumbled "isn't he always" goes unnoticed as Elias hurries to the Institute, where he finds a fucking rib on Jon's desk and the coffin in the middle of the room.

Peter Lukas has named the chat 'archivists ruin my sleep schedule and my sex life'

JMagnus 👀: What the fuck do I do?? I can't go into the Buried! Why is Jon so stupid? I didn't know he had zero braincells when I hired him!

🔥: ngl why havent you fired him yet

JMagnus 👀: Beholding won't let me. We're all bound to the Institute.

🔥: F

JMagnus 👀: Why are there no Buried avatars in here? Please someone help me.

mike n ike: lol the buried is gross why would anyone go down there

spidey🕸: does he have an anchor?

[JMagnus 👀 sent an image]

🔥: is that a fucking rib

spidey🕸: wow that's not a good anchor at all

spidey🕸: he needs someone he loves

JMagnus 👀: Thanks. Gtg.

spidey🕸: np

🔥: are we not going to talk about his rib

🔥: how the fuck did he get that out of his body

🔥: yall

🔥: YALL

it takes three days for Elias to find Martin.

"Please tell me why the fuck you're dabbling in the Lonely," Elias says as Martin steps sheepishly out of the fog.

"Ah. Well. Jon can't See into it very well and sometimes we like to spice up our se-"

"Stop before I have to gouge my eyes out again."

"A-Again-?"

Elias drags Martin back to the Institute. Martin starts setting tapes on the coffin because "Jon loves these" and Elias starts bashing his head into the wall.

Jon climbs out of the coffin with Daisy and Elias almost considers locking Jon in his office so the damn archivist can't do anything else ridiculous. instead, Elias very calmly takes Jon by the shoulders, and shakes him like a rag doll.

"Stop fucking with entities, you stupid, stupid man," Elias says, shaking Jon more viciously now.

after several hours of breathing exercises Elias returns to his house and doesn't take his Sight off of Jon for the rest of the night, which is a fun experience for Peter when he wakes up and finds Elias' bloodshot eyes staring directly at him in the morning.

JMagnus 👀 added Daisy to 'archivists ruin my sleep schedule and my sex life'

Peter Lukas has named the chat 'archivist hate club'

JMagnus 👀 has named the chat 'shut up peter'

Peter Lukas has named the chat 'you love jon more than me'

JMagnus 👀 has named the chat 'I don't love either of you I'm heartless'

Peter Lukas has named the chat 'I want a divorce'

spidey🕸: jeez take your marital dispute elsewhere

spidey🕸 has named the chat 'lonelyeyes dni'

Daisy: wtf is this

mike n ike: it's a chat for avatars

mike n ike: and ex avatars ig

Daisy: didn't I kill you

mike n ike: yea

JMagnus 👀: Hello, Daisy. Welcome to the group chat.

Daisy: why is Jon not in here

Peter Lukas: because I hate him 😁

spidey🕸: Elias talks mad shit in here and Jon would get offended

Daisy: if you talk bad about Jon I'll rip your throat out

Daisy: :)

JMagnus 👀: Noted.

mike n ike: he's kinda rude tho

Daisy: I've killed you once

Elias' only goal now is to keep Jon and his assistants from pulling any more wild stunts without his supervision. his renewed involvement with the archival staff results in a few things he'd hoped to avoid: drink invites, physical contact (Martin is surprisingly quick to start hugging Elias once he realizes Elias won't stop him), and- shudder -feelings. because Elias genuinely cares about his staff and doesn't want any harm to befall them. especially Jon. Jon is his Archivist, the only one to ever succeed like this, and Elias will be damned if he lets anything happen to him.

"Why do you care?" Jon asks, once, compulsion thrumming like static on his tongue. "About us, I mean. I would've assumed you'd want to perform the Beholding's ritual."

Jonah Magnus attempted the Watcher's Crown once, when he was young and new. he'd brought his patron close, but not all the way through, and the backlash of power killed all the inmates at Millbank and severely crippled Jonah's connection to the Eye for months afterward. he grew to assume that the Beholding simply preferred the world as it was--ripe with fear for watching. it didn't need a ritual.

he instead dedicated himself to growing stronger, cultivating his Institute of knowledge, his stronghold. if he tore out a few people's eyes when he got too old, then, well, collateral. but he doesn't want the world to end, and knows now that no ritual will ever succeed unless it brings in all the Powers at once. and he doesn't want that either.

it's concerning to him that Jon seems to be collecting marks regardless. the only ones he's missing are the Dark and the Lonely, and Elias is determined to keep it that way.

he explains all of this to Jon who, to his credit, takes it pretty well. Jon is fascinated with historic life and Elias spends some time simply recounting tales of his youth, when he still bore the name Magnus.

they bond. it's good.

and one day Basira does a little too much research and discovers the dark sun waiting in Ny Alesund. she insists they need to go and see what's left of the People's Church, they need to ensure everything is taken care of. Jon is rather insistent too. and Elias wouldn't have been inclined to let them go, except Peter was finally home after weeks at sea, and it wasn't like Jon was defenseless, he could call Elias if anything went wrong...

so, very reluctantly, Elias gives them the all clear. Basira, Jon, and Martin head north, and Elias almost forgets they've gone when he arrives home and Peter already has dinner prepared.

Jon comes back marked by the Dark.

Elias curses himself, over and over, for being foolish enough to let them go, for not keeping a closer eye on them. he knows the ritual won't work unless a certain incantation is spoken, so he'll just have to keep world-ending written chants away from Jon. easy. and it's not like Jon will even get marked by the Lonely. Peter wouldn't.

(but Martin doesn't have the same level of control, and sometimes...)

it's an accident. Martin and Jon are testing it, pushing the boundaries, when Martin pulls them both into the Lonely. Elias threatens divorce until Peter caves and fetches them, but it's too late. Jon has been marked by all fourteen Powers.

Elias tells him, and warns him to check everything he reads.

helen!!!!! has named the chat 'apocalypse babey'

JMagnus 👀: How are you doing that?

JMagnus 👀: And the apocalypse is not imminent. I have the situation under control.

olive ⚰: ha yeah

JMagnus 👀: What do you mean by that?

olive ⚰: nothing

JMagnus 👀: Well, now I certainly think it's something.

olive ⚰: it's just

olive ⚰: don't you think it's kinda weird that @spidey🕸 has been offline for so long

🔥: thats weird shes always online

JMagnus 👀: Oliver, what are you implying?

olive ⚰: idk

olive ⚰: just weird, that's all

🔥: never good when the spiders are quiet

olive ⚰: hear hear

Elias gets a sinking feeling in his stomach, and beside him, Peter looks alarmed. meanwhile, in his flat with Martin making tea in the other room, Jon has a statement clutched in his grasp.

Hello, Jon.

I would apologize for the deception, but I'm afraid that's quite what I'm good at. I'm not one to monologue, that's more Jonah's shtick, so shall we get on with things?

I admit I underestimated Jonah Magnus. He's still remarkably easy to manipulate, but when he abandoned the Watcher's Crown ritual I knew I would have to take a different approach. The Mother is not so satisfied with the world as she may have insinuated. It is our turn to rise, Jon.

At the age of eight, you were marked by us. We sent you to the Magnus Institute in the hopes that a new Archivist would rekindle Jonah's desire to end the world. Unfortunately, it seemed as though he grew fond of you, and so we brought in a new plan. We marked you. One fear at a time. Jonah gave an admirable attempt at protecting you, but ultimately, he is an incompetent old fool, and I am a Weaver. Even Jonah Magnus dances to invisible strings.

Everyone underestimates a spider until it bites. Poison is poison, Jon, regardless of the medium in which it is served.

You will be safe in this new world. Martin, too. Perhaps even Jonah and his Lukas, if the Mother deems them worthy.

Now, please repeat after me...

Jon reads the ink scratched words, eyes welling up with tears and hands trembling, as thunder crashes outside and a howling gale picks up beyond the windows. Martin is shouting something, there's the crawling press of Elias' gaze as it rests heavy behind Jon, a silent observer. He can feel Elias' soothing presence, cool and calm in the raging storm.

Elias is still watching out for him.

Strings are wrapped around his wrists, jerking his arms up in a poor mockery of religious regard, strange hysterical laughter clawing out from his throat.

Jon's tears run red. Somewhere, Elias is still watching.

The door opens.

[ymiwritesstuff]

Corrupted King

More Dimitri, more angst lol. Seriously I had this idea ever since I remembered that Dimitri took out Imperial army forces ALONE during the five years he was in exile. Anyway I hope you guys like this even tho this isn’t really romantic.

Fire Emblem Three Houses

Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd x Fem!Reader

Summary: When you encounter the aftermath of a brutal battle you seek shelter at an abandoned barn, only to realize that you aren’t alone.

Notes: Angst, Small spoilers for Azure Moon route.

The past five years had been tough. The Holy Kingdom was almost fully invaded, its ruler was gone, and with only a small fraction of the Kingdom nobles trying to defy the Imperial influence and army. The Empire was making its presence known and spreading its forces throughout the continent, greedily attempting to overrun the weaker regions of Fódlan and bending them to its ruler’s will. The war was overwhelming and costly. People died and fled, homes were destroyed and the state of the Kingdom was enough to make anyone lose hope. However, with war, came rumors.

A mere commoner like you, who was challenged by the cruelty of reality almost every day, shouldn’t have believed such rumors. However, when the word about Imperial armies being brutally destroyed by an unknown force spread, it gave you hope. The conditions during the war had been awful, to say the least, so every time you heard of a yet another barbarous assault on the enemy by something capable of destroying an entire battalion, it ignited a flame of hope within you. The force behind the vicious attacks was unknown, but stories about a boar-like warrior carrying a mighty lance that pierced through the enemy forces with ease floated in the air, carried by the voices of the innocent civilians and brave soldiers alike. Nobody knew for sure, but the tales of this courageous warrior fighting for the Kingdom gave people hope, which was the one thing everyone needed.

The way back home was supposed to be safe. And it usually was, but the sight before you turned all feelings of safety and security into dust. The ruins of the village that was once flowing with life had been long destroyed and you usually passed them whenever you left home. They were always hauntingly empty, but it never bothered you. Until now. 

The once unoccupied ruins were now bloody, filled with corpses of Imperial soldiers and their steeds. Blood spilled from their wounds, their bodies twisted in what to you looked like pain and the grim wind of death seemed to travel around the debris. Whatever happened here, it happened recently. The sight was gruesome, unbearably so. You were sure that even the most experienced general would be feeling sick for days, the same way you did. Your stomach twisted, your knees trembled as your (E/C) eyes shining in fear examined the area and tried to look for a way forward amid the decaying corpses. Your eyes couldn’t bear the sight much longer.

Just as you were about to take a careful step forward, an arrow most likely aimed at you landed beside you, mere inches away from hitting its intended target. Your eyes widened, a gasp slipped your lips and the instinct to run and hide immediately kicked in as your legs seemed to be suddenly moving on their own, heading for a destination you didn’t know, but hoped would be safe. Fear consumed your entire being as you ran, almost tripping over the limp bodies that once housed the souls of soldiers. They may have been enemies, but they were still humans. Death had always uncomfortably sunken its teeth into you.

Your trembling legs and an undying will to live eventually led you inside a barn that was miraculously still standing upon the rubble. With a careful glance, you look outside from the small hole in the wooden door to see if whoever had shot at you had followed you all the way to your little hiding place and sigh in relief as you don’t see anyone outside the empty barn. “Thank goodness…” You allow yourself to catch your breath and figure out your next course of action. Then, something sharp is pressed against your back.

“Don’t move unless you want to die quickly.” The deep male voice behind you says, causing you to let out a gasp and instinctively raise your hands as your pulse quickens again. You do not dare to look back as the feeling of the weapon on your back is still very much present. “What are you doing here?” The person asks, voice filled with anger and malice, making your blood run cold as you try to answer his question.

“I… I was being shot at… S-so I came here. To hide.” Your voice is barely audible and is more of a whimper. You tried your best to stay calm. This person was clearly being hostile towards you, but since he hadn’t yet pierced you with whatever he was holding, you had some hope. But still, you couldn’t deny the feeling of terror you felt as the person behind you looked into your very soul. He scoffs.

“You’re another Imperial spy, aren’t you? How many of you rats must I kill to get rid of you?!” The sharp point of his weapon is pressed harder against your back, not enough to pierce through anything, but enough to make you wince and promptly start defending yourself. “N-no! I’m not a spy! Please!” The volume of your voice is louder than intended, and you quickly realize this and take a few seconds to calm down, despite your mind wanting to panic. “I… I was just on my way home and… Saw the corpses around the ruins. Then suddenly, someone began shooting at me. I only came here to hide, I swear! I won’t cause any trouble…” A few, highly grueling seconds pass before he mutters something under his breath and soon you can no longer feel the threat on your back.

With the weapon removed from your back, you briefly exhale and hear him sitting down on the floor, leaning against the fragile wooden wall. Curiosity gets the best of you and you turn around, despite your mind demanding you to leave, only to see a light-haired male, covered in dark armor, whose right eye was covered with an eyepatch, a defeated look in his left one and holding… A lance, covered in blood. Your eyes widen as you come to the realization. Before you, was the warrior in all of those stories who so brutally murdered Imperial forces throughout the years. However, the man before you was also someone thought to be dead. 

“P-Prince Dimitri?” He slightly flinches at your words and grips his lance tighter, avoiding your gaze. There was no doubt. This man was the Prince of the Holy Kingdom, thought to be dead, but there he was. Right in front of you, hiding in the shadows. “I am no Prince,” He spat, voice poisoned with everlasting hatred and fury. He looked drained, tired, utterly destroyed within. What on earth had happened to him?

You step closer, unsure if it’s the right action to take in this situation, considering just how hostile the once kindhearted Prince had acted mere moments ago. “Those corpses outside… You did it, right? Just like the rumors say,” You carefully say and notice him locking his remaining eye on you. His gaze holds no life in it which stabs your heart as the sight of him makes you feel sorry for the Prince. Whatever had happened, he was clearly affected by it.

“Your Highness… What happened to you?” The question leaves your mouth before you even realize, but in it is genuine worry and curiosity. The rumors depicted the one-man army as a proud warrior fighting for the Kingdom, but the man before you was lost in a deep sea of hatred and loss. But above all, he was supposed to be the leader of Faerghus and to see him like this… It was awful. To think the person responsible for the gruesome assaults on the Imperial army was the leader of the Kingdom himself.

“The only thing that matters is the death of that woman.” His voice still carried that strange feeling of acrimony you couldn’t quite comprehend. “The emperor? But Your Highness, what about the Kingdom?” You asked, determined to understand his questionable morals. The Prince had most likely unknowingly given his citizens hope from the shadows and now that he was confirmed to be alive, you couldn’t help but think what he had been doing during these years and why he had abandoned his people. He suddenly stood up, frustration twisting his features.

“Do not try to defy me!” You flinch at his words and instinctively take a few steps back. “Killing that witch is what I must do to avenge the dead!” He gripped his lance and suddenly pointed it at you, flames of aggression burning in his azure eye. “Anyone who stands in my way will be destroyed. No matter who it may be.” His voice quieted down, but held an unstable baneful tone that sent a cold shiver down your spine as he stared at you, his violent gaze digging into your soul. You look at the ground, feeling powerless against Dimitri, who begins to walk towards the entrance, heavy steps echoing around the barn.

“You gave us hope…” Your voice is once again trembling as he passes you, once again muttering something you can’t hear under his breath. All this time you thought someone was fighting for the Kingdom and its people, but it turns out, the ruler himself was only fighting for something you didn’t know or understand. You turn to him just as he is about to head out and speak once more, unwilling to let him so recklessly pursue his goal:

“Who are we going to rely on if not you?! Please Your Highness! We need you!” Dimitri stops, his eye locked on the floor beneath him. This gave you some hope that he was listening to you over whatever was troubling him eternally. “We need our King…” His head shot up at that, and the grip on his bloody lance tightened, the enemy army’s steps audible from behind the wooden door. He glances at you, his gaze entirely different from what it was before.

“No… A monster like me…” His gaze returned to the door and he opened it, allowing the sunlight to bleed into the dark barn. However, darkness still surrounded him as he stepped out, ready to take out yet another wave of enemies.

“...Could never hope to achieve anything other than death.”

[merinnan]

Time Raiders

Okay, pausing the DMBJ 2 watches to watch the Time Raiders movie instead! I've been told that the entire movie is basically one big crackfic & I want to see how true that is

- Apparently the only place I can find it is YouTube 

- And we open with someone laying down cards which...seem to be making a qilin pattern. Okay. 

- And now we're at the Himalayas, and it seems to be a bunch of white soldiers shooting people? 

- Oh, this leader white guy has a classic villain look. I love the pocket watch, too 

- Wait, he's supposed to be a scientist? 

 - He obviously hasn't read the Evil Overload Handbook 

- And now this is giving me flashbacks to Xiaoge's first appearance in DMBJ1

- Ah, yes, I think this is the Xiaoge for this movie. Excellent. 

- DUDES. You have GUNS. You were using them just before. Why are you now using knives only? 

- I mean, it wouldn't do much better, because Xiaoge, but still 

- This is A Look

- Finally, one of them uses a gun, and it's as useless as I expected it would be 

- Ahahahah, omg, what he did to these two guys is hilarious 

- That is a TERRIBLE hiding place 

- Don't....don't leave him alive. JFC

- This flashback montage is super weird 

- Look, I don't have a tattoo myself, but I'm pretty sure that that's not how you get tattoos 

- And now we move to Wushanju 

- Oh, I think it's Sanshu who's been playing with those cards

- ...you have got to be kidding me 

- Really? We're really doing this? 

- I guess this is Wu Xie, then 

- What even did he just randomly put that mask on for 

- That is NOT a newborn

- Awww, kid Wu Xie 

- Yay, creepy old houses. And ofc kid Wu Xie is gonna try to get inside 

- But that is a fucking massive lock 

- Yes, of course, wrap the porch in giant fuckoff chains, but don't lock the front door. Why not? 

- ....k 

- Sure, that happened

- And bratty kid Wu Xie still pinched one of the medallions after all of that 

- Okay, yeah, if you were a kid who had to go to a funeral every month, no wonder you'd be so bored at them

- This movie is all over the place in terms of timeline 

- I think we're finally into the time period of the main story 

- And it seems this one also has Wu Xie as having been an architecture student of some kind

- Oh, yes, that's exactly what you want to find while crawling through a tunnel 

- WX: "Sanshu can never know about this. You didn't tell him, right?" 

WM: *oh shit I'm screwed face* 

- Hi Sanshu, I wonder how you got here

- I love that no matter what version it is, Wu Xie is a little shit XD 

- ...Wu Xie. Moths. Light. No. 

- Wu Xie gonna Wu Xie 

- Wu Xie, what are you doing? 

- OMG 

- Sanshu, this is all your fault for never letting him in anything like this. He doesn't know not to touch

- Wow, that wasn't subtle at all 

- That's some steampunky looking villain lair right there 

- I love how the 'passerby video' getting screened fucking everywhere is just the movie footage of that scene XD That's some high quality passerby video with interesting angles

- That's an interesting drinking spot, Xiaoge 

- I love that so far Wu Xie's instincts for everything is either 'touch it', 'wear it', or 'dismantle it' 

- ....okay 

- Yeah, I....I think this is going to be my reaction to most of the movie, tbh

- Although at least this whole magic Snake Empress and weird ancient technology/magic thing is more interesting than the bland het palace drama randomly dropped into the middle of DMBJ1 

- Oh, finally, some product placement 

- I was wondering what was taking it so long

- I love how all their desks and papers and such are inside what look like coffins, and then fold out 

- Oh look, Xiaoge's sword is inside one of the coffins. 

- And there's Xiaoge 

- Hei Ye gave Sanshu the sword decades ago?

- lol, this is like some Sword in the Stone bullshit right here 

 - I love it 

- a) Was all that really necessary 

- b) wtf even is that sword? 

- It's a really bizarre design, and surely being able to be moved like a mechanical device would weaken it?

- ...okay, that was a cute meeting, I'll give it that 

- Love how the older guys are teasing Wu Xie in the truck here. 

- Oh, Wu Xie's actually a psych student in this one

- And like, Wu Xie, how do you know Xiaoge was looking at his reflection. It's a window, he might have just been spacing out at the scenery 

- You must have been paying a lot of attention to him to notice it was the reflection he was actually looking at, hmmm? 👀

- This is a cute Wu Xie, tho 

- Yes, Wu Xie, despite your lack of modesty there I totally caught that you just called Xiaoge handsome 

- WU XIE WHAT NO DON'T DO THAT 

- Hahaha, Xiaoge had exactly the same reaction

- No, Wu Xie, it doesn't matter that you'd taken the ammo out, you should never stick the barrel of a gun in your face and look down it like that. 

- Even if you're certain it's unloaded, you just DON'T DO THAT

- Wu Xie, lacking impulse control and survival instincts without Xiaoge and Pangzi since....forever 

- (okay, lacking survival instincts was perhaps a bit too far, but still)

- I love Xiaoge's "omg what even are you" look at that 

- This is a very talkative and open to talking about himself Xiaoge 

- It's kind of weird

- lol @ Sanshu locking Wu Xie in the truck so he can't come with them 

 - I mean, really, does he actually expect this to work? 

- He knows his nephew both likes and is good at taking things apart, after all 

- lol, I knew it 

- Oh 

- Oh, that's not a good sign

- Even Coral's logo just screams 'villainous organisation' 

- These mercenaries look like video game characters from like COD or something 

- Oh hi, lady I presume is A-Ning 

- I like the haircut. Looks kinda like DMBJ 1 Xiaoge's haircut, just with the fringe over the opposite eye

- Oh, there's that gratuitous boob shot that @thosch3i​ told me about 

- I really don't see why it was necessary for A-Ning to crawl all over the truck like that when everyone else just walked past it

- There is some really nice scenery in this movie with all the mountains and cliffs and such 

- "What I'm doing isn't about right or wrong, it's about how much" I like this A-Ning. She is refreshingly direct and mercenary

- Damn, I though Xiaoge was going to notice the drone. I mean, it's so close to them! He should notice it! 

- Love Hendrix's surprised Pikachu face at recognising him, though 

- I'm honestly surprised that none of them have looked in the truck at all

- I do appreciate that this movie doesn't even attempt to pretend that they're not tomb raiders 

- And that they have no interest in preserving this place 

- Because BOOM! Let's just dynamite our way in and destroy half the wall

- Oops, no floor there 

- Hahaha, this tomb is a fucking platform game 

 - Lovely, a shootout in a tomb. Just what every good tomb raiding movie need 

 - lol, Sanshu 

- Don't you ever ever again wonder where your nephew's little shit tendencies come from

- I think Xiaoge and A-Ning are the only truly competent people on their respective teams 

- A-Ning, 'keep them alive' does not mean 'try to shoot one in the face at close range' 

- That little boot knife is kinda cute, though 

- Clever move, Pan Zi

- I love the Xiaoge/A-Ning fight. He really is the only one who could keep her distracted 

- I'm impressed at how well she held her own with him 

- IDK why he was holding back

- Also, Xiaoge participating in fight banter, no matter how minimal? Strange, but also kinda cool. 

- I'm going to be giggling about that "Not bad"/"I know" for awhile, I think 

- IDK how they had the time or the ability to stay still long enough to rig up that trap, I'm impressed

- lol, yeah, I didn't think that it would take Wu Xie long to get out of the truck 

- I take back my earlier comment about it being too harsh to say that Wu Xie lacks survival instincts without Xiaoge and Pangzi around

- Wu Xie, there is not enough light down here for you to get good shots without your flash being on 

- I know having your flash on is a BAD idea, but still 

- You cannot be getting good photos in this light

- Why is Xiaoge separated from everyone? He jumped down with them 

- I mean, it's good that he is, otherwise Wu Xie would be kinda screwed right now 

- Huh, bats, there must be an actual entrance to this tomb, not just the one that Sanshu's team made.

- A-Ning's tiny baby drones are so cute 

- The English dubbing in this is surprisingly good compared to the shows 

- Yes, good, the staring is starting 

- ...Wu Xie, you little shit 

 - He's so pleased with himself 

- Xiaoge is so confused until he explains it 

- OMG, a Xiaoge smile

- OMG A XIAOGE LAUGH

- Ah yes, multiple large tornadoes, a way to signify weird shit is going now 

- And weird spinny planets forming an...energy grid of some kind? 

- ...k 

- The mini drones apparently only pick up on people who are part of A-Ning's team, I guess

- JESUS 

- I mean, I had a strong suspicion that was gonna happen, but it still made me jump 

- Xiaoge to the rescue! 

- Damn, that sword is strong 

- This tomb definitely has a spider colony, but given it also has a bat colony that doesn't surprise me

- Those are some creepy looking mannequins 

- This set up looks like a game of Mouse Trap 

- A game of Mouse Trap with fire 

- That's actually a really cool way to light all the candles and lamps 

- I'm impressed that none of the cobwebs have caught on fire

- Oh, so NOW you use your flash, Wu Xie. When the room is all well lit and you don't actually need it 

- CREEEEEPY 

- Wu Xie and his compulsive need to touch things 

- Are all the puppets connected somehow, or are we gonna have spooky magical shit making them all come to life?

- Oh, the puppet band is like the bells, I guess 

- Huh, it seems Wu Xie's the only one who got thrown into memories in these illusions, everyone else's hallucination still has them inside the tomb 

- wtf, a lion is a weird thing to hallucinate

- Magic Zhang blood, go! 

- IDK why he needs to cut himself for each person, though, surely one cut should be enough to get all the drops of blood he needs 

- Good boy, Wu Xie, already so protective of his Xiaoge

- This really is a fucking platform game 

- Guys, this is why you study up on the raid mechanics BEFORE you enter the instance 

- Ahahahah, the music playing as Wu Xie basically dances with the sword trap

- lol, the look on Xiaoge's face as he realises Wu Xie is just...fucking dancing and taking photos 

- And that it's WORKING 

- OMFG, this is basically just a bizarre dance sequence 

- I love it 

- It's so stupid

- The puppets having fucking crossbows 

- Because ofc they do 

- Repeating crossbows 

- ...k 

- So now we have a room full of skeletons stuffed into cages 

- Why not 

- Ah, we're about to have bugs show up 

- Excellent 

- This is what I've been waiting for

- Let the hilarity begin continue 

- Dude, you can quit right now as much as you like, but it doesn't mean you're going to be able to get out of here by yourself 

- I guess this guy's gonna die now 

- For the tropes are hungry and must be fed 

- Much like the bugs

- Yep, here we go 

- Hello, shibie, I've been expecting you 

- These ones don't look as cartoonishly ridiculous as the ones in DMBJ 1, I'm sad 

- OMFG, it's eating the shovel/pick/thing 

- Okay, this is a good effort at cartoonish ridiculousness

- It's a lovely day in the tomb, and these are horrible shibie 

- Poor Wu Xie, so shocked at getting slapped

- And yeah. Yeah, that's about the only thing you can do there. 

- Only way to save the guy is to just give him a quick death so he doesn't suffer from being eaten alive

- They're lucky these shibie move so slowly. It gives them plenty of time to climb up onto those frames 

- lol, weird bendy sword again 

- Wow, good catch, Wu Xie 

- Y'know, Wu Xie, it might have been more useful to give the knife to Da Kui 

- And ofc Wu Xie falls down

- What is a DMBJ adaptation without Wu Xie getting himself into danger like this?

- That was so much wtf all at once 

- First, an unbroken flute just, like, laying there on the ground 

- Then, Wu Xie somehow thinking that playing it would save him from the bugs 

- Then that WORKED 

- He's like the fucking Pied Piper of the shibie 

- What even is this movie

- Haha, the little OK sign he flashes at Xiaoge 

- The wtf look on Xiaoge's face 

- Same, Xiaoge. Same 

- I love how everyone just. Accepts it & congratulates Wu Xie on being an awesome flute player 

- But then ig what else are you gonna do? 

- It's like, well, this may as well happen

- Sanshu's team really likes using grenades, huh? 

- Well, it does work pretty well! 

- See, Wu Xie, this is when you need to summon your bugs back

- On a completely different tangent, I cannot get over how weirdly the subs translate men you ping. I had to look up wtf shtum was. I've never come across it before. Is it something more commonly used in the US or something?

- Xiaoge, when you said you had a better way than digging under the door, I didn't think you meant just BATTERING THE FUCKING DOOR WITH THE SHOVEL 

- Oh, no, it's with your sword

- Because the best way to look after a sharp blade and keep it in good condition and keep a good edge is to...hack at rocks with it 

- Ofc 

- Why didn't I think of that? 

-  OK, ig fucking up your sword's edge did actually work, there's now a giant-ass hole in the door

- This is serious Day After Tomorrow vibes here

- Ah, yes, giant lightning strikes that cause so much force to travel through the earth that they can semi-collapse a tunnel deep underneath a mountain 

- Just your usual tomb robbing dangers 

- Physicists and meteorologists would have a fucking field day here

- Ah, I see we're at this level of the platform game 

- With the collapsing floor you need to get across without falling

- Okay, that's really kinda sweet of Wu Xie here. He thinks he's likely to die, and the most important thing to him is giving Xiaoge the pictures he took of him so that he doesn't lose all his memories 

- And aww, Xiaoge's so worried about him

- Like, I'm totally understanding why the transmigrated Wu Xie in that fic looked at these two and went "wow, we're so gay in this timeline" 

- Even the music in this scene is shipping it 

- Romantic line, and dramatic fall through the floor. Yep.

- I'm amazed he survived that fall, but it's Wu Xie, and he can't die 

- ...yes, ancient Persian architecture totally had anachronistic technology. Sure. This is definitely like that 

- omfg, they're statis chambers 

- 2000 year old stasis chambers

- Guess they're not worried about catching Sanshu and his team to get the key anymore. They've been kinda sidetracked 

- Side quests will do that 

- ...plant golems 

- "Don't shoot the thing that's in the process of murdering your friend! You might damage my research project!"

- Ew, that's not a nice death 

- Yes, good girl, A-Ning 

- That thing was just gonna kill your whole team otherwise 

- ...how did that laptop survive the blast enough for Wu Xie to be using it with no problem 

- That's one tough laptop 

- Where do I get one?

- And hey, I guess the one Chinese guy with A-Ning isn't actually one of her people, since she just, like, left him there 🤣 In the room with a plant golem 🤣 That she then threw a grenade into 🤣

 - ...omg, that's meant to be Pangzi?

- I was wondering why no Pangzi in the movie. I guess 3/4 of the way through isn't too late to properly intro him 

 - Ahahaha, Wu Xie actually thinks his bluff was super successful when there's a plant golem behind him 

- Xiaoge to the rescue again XD

- lol @ both Pangzi and Wu Xie using Xiaoge's sword as a restraint 

- ...surprise A-Ning! I wasn't expecting her to actually come back 

- And she's somehow lost all of her guys

- That's a lot of snakes, but I'm more interested in where all the water is coming from and why you can see the sun behind those shelves 

- Given how deep under a mountain they're supposed to be 

- I do love competent, pretty girls wielding huge fuckoff guns

- This door mechanism is so intricate (like the key/timer). So ofc I'm sure they're going to destroy it all 

 - Because that's how tomb raiding movies go

- Introduce a tomb with intricate and complex mechanisms far in advance of anything else known to that time period and civilisation, and then destroy them in dramatic fight and escape scenes 

- OMG the floor is lava 

 - Of course there's lava as well

- Oh, and it seems it's now all open to the sky 

- Ig the lightning which could mysteriously exert high levels of force must have smashed through the mountain and very neatly cleared it all way so that this part of the tomb and only this part of the tomb is now open air

- Wang Zanghai wishes he could go this extra with tomb building 

- And now Xiaoge being super extra to get across the destroyed section of the bridge 

- So this dude is gonna wake up just before Xiaoge gets there, isn't he? 

- And we're going to get an epic swordfight between them

- At least, it better be an epic swordfight 

- Otherwise this buildup will be very disappointing 

- Ah, yes, good, there we go 

- And all the plant golems are also waking up 

- ...along with a shitton of snakes 

- OMG the snakes have arms 

- The snakes 

- have arms

- OMG Xiaoge's sword is doing what now? 

- That's almost as ridiculous as the snakes with arms 

- It's like a sword designed by a 13 year old weeaboo boy

"it's gonna be ancient, and super strong, and nothing will ever make it blunt" 

"okay, seems like a typical magic sword so far, that's fair" 

"and you can bend it at right angles" 

"...you can what"

"and when it's bent at right angles, you can make it spin really fast and still use it like a proper sword" 

"...it what"

- ...the Snake Empress is reforming in her armour as thousands of little vines all coming together 

- k 

- Sure 

- This may as well happen 

- And her armour has boobplate, because ofc it does 

- Oh, she ain’t happy that Xiaoge just killed her plant golem boyfriend

- Her aesthetics are hilarious 

- It's part Queen of the Damned, part Little Shop of Horrors 

- Okay, snake lady, your worms might change the world but honestly I think that lightning would be more effective if you could control it

- Sanshu and co just randomly walk in through another entrance 

- Oh, and there's the rest of A-Ning's team

- I want the story behind this A-Ning and her team. The way they all call her captain, and follow her without a second word, and are so genuinely happy to see her. This isn't just a throw-together team, or a team that Hendrix put together and put her in charge of. This is her team, and there's an obvious history between them

- And snake lady is suddenly not looking as pretty as she was, for no discernible reason 

- One minute she's jumping around, the next she's all pale and falling apart. At least her face is 

- It's like she's decomposing throughout the fight

- And here come the snakes with arms 

- They move just as slowly as the shibie in here do 

- They jump pretty fast, though 

- RIP the next member of Sanshu's team 

- Yeah, machine guns aren't that effective against regular snakes, let alone magic snakes

- And the plant golems are here 

- RIP more of Sanshu's team 

- Ah, the little snakes with arms are all grown up and off to conquer the world

- ...omfg Pangzi 

- And this time it's A-Ning to the rescue 

- I love how quickly Wu Xie and Pangzi fall into the dynamic of a pair of clowns, regardless of adaptation

- RIP Harry. You went out like a badass 

- Oh wow, both teams are having some fucking epic sacrificial deaths in this fight scene 

- I like 

- And more cute pingxie, this time in flashbacks 

- lol, clearing out plant golem conversion by pure force of will

- ...and channeling blood down the grooves in the sword blade apparently...makes it sharper? 

- At least, it couldn't cut through the vines before, and now it can 

- That's not how magnetic fields work

- Ahahaha, Wu Xie pulling out his flute 

- He's gonna pull that Pied Piper shit again, isn't he? 

- Here come the shibie, come to nom on plant-snake-lady flesh! 

- She's having just as much trouble with them as everyone else does

- Because it's a lovely day in the tomb, and they are horrible shibie 

- Wow, she hits hard, she knocked Xiaoge like halfway across the chasm 

- Good thing there was a random broken pillar there

- Are they getting obliterated? 

- Ah, no, they're getting sucked up by the wind 

- Shibie-nado! 

- You know, I kinda like how bad Wu Xie's English is compared to everyone else who's spoken English so far 

- It nicely demonstrates who speaks it a lot and who doesn't

- Aw, Wu Xie, you're always so optimistic when you're baby 

- And it actually worked. I'm impressed. 

- Oh wow, A-Ning, that's some character development right there, caring about right or wrong instead of money

- Nice Pangi & A-Ning dynamic in this movie, given how they usually hate each other 

- This is definitely the final level of a platform game 

- Hahah, the two teams now 

- Awwwwwwww 😭

 - I think this is the first time I've seen Wu Xie rescue Xiaoge rather than vice versa 

- "I regret not locking you in the truck myself" 

 - Sorry, Xiaoge, I don't think you'd actually have much more luck with that than Sanshu did 

- Xiaoge, you really should have been more careful there, you almost did low Wu Xie 

- Good thing A-Ning was close by!

- ....the sword...is being used...as a boomerang 

- wtaf 

- Hahahah, the snakes' death throes, omg 

- lol what even was that ending

Overall: This movie was just one long DMBJ PingXie AU crackfic, and the author didn't know how to end it so just...didn't write an actual ending. That's the only way I can explain it. 

[elffees]

i was reading @seafrost-fangirl ’s post and they brought up a really interesting point about u*til dawn’s plot twist(s) versus MoM and LH’s that made me realize more about why the anthology games havent had the same impact on me like UD did.

UD’s plot twist(s) were more remarkable imo bc 1) there were several that all tied together excellently and 2) the supernatural plot twist was one you expected, but then the game made you let your guard down, and then brought it back with a vengeance.

rest of the post is linked under the cut because i talk a lot lol

1) the storylines in UD were all tied together

imo this is what made them all the more satisfying and why people loved them so much. each plot twist was connected. josh only became a “killer clown” and pulled that whole scheme bc of his sisters’ death. hannah only became a w*****o bc beth died and she was trapped and her sister’s body was the only source of food she had. flamethrower guy was only so present and around the group a lot bc he was trying to protect them and keep w*****o!hannah and the others at bay.

the josh storyline would not have existed without hannah and beth’s death/cannibalism. hannah turning into the head w*****o would also not have existed had beth not died. and the flamethrower guy storyline would not have existed without w*****os and the group making themselves vulnerable by returning. which they only did so because josh asked them too bc of his plan. the storylines all relied on each other. that made them more satisfying. the parallel storylines ended up blending into one.

when it comes to the anthology games however, their twists and storylines exist separately and/or just aren’t as connected. the MoM crew didn’t need to be on the boat for the gas/hallucination storyline to exist. it already did. they simply walked into it and even at the end their presence did nothing since they just leave afterwards. they didn’t stop the gas or try to destroy the boat or really anything. they went on the boat, went “wow is this boat fucked up or what lol”, and then they left. the end. they didn’t change anything about the boat storyline itself and their presence had absolutely no impact on it. in UD, the characters blow all the w*****os up in the house. whether you believe that’s good or not, at least it still had an affect on the w*****o storyline.

in LH, it’s harder to explain. yes everything was happening in anthony’s head, so essentially none of it would’ve existed without him. but at the same time, that’s one of the biggest issues i had with it. the storylines don’t actually exist. the puritan subplot is make believe. anything you say or do to those people doesn’t matter at all, except for that one choice at the very end where you tell abraham what to do about mary and the reverend. other than that? you can do or say absolutely anything to the puritans and none of it matters or is important in the slightest. the connection once again feels flimsy at best because you’re essentially talking to a brick wall until the last 2 choices.

this is significant because, in u*til dawn, choices you made and the actions the characters defaultly did affected ALL storylines. mike and chris lock josh in the shed bc, due to his killer clown prank, they believe he’s too dangerous to let stay in the house. locking him outside tho is what causes him to be captured by hannah. they did not MEAN to leave him outside as bait, but that’s just what happened bc the storylines were connecting. when chris & ashley are handcuffed to chairs and you the player have to decide who to shoot, if you choose to “shoot” ashley, later on when chris is being chased by the w*****o, she will refuse to let him in and he will die. the storylines constantly, constantly connect and what you did in regards to one heavily affected the other. LH did not do that until those 2 abraham dialogue choices at the last minute.

2) the supernatural plot twist was one you expected but then didn’t and then when it actually happened you were still very much surprised and thats another reason why it hit as good as it did

the w*****o plot twist was an incredible shock bc when it finally came to light, you the player had already let your guard down when it happened. when josh takes his mask off, it’s either a huge surprise or a “i fucking knew it!!” satisfying validation. there was no danger, josh was just being the biggest asshole in existence. there wasn’t a serial killer murdering off the group. it was just josh. you knew there was gonna be a twist SOMEHOW and the josh reveal had to be it? right? but then you pause and wonder, then what the heck is down there in the mines with emily? well most of the danger is over now anyways since josh came clean...... right?

and then the w*****os come and are a punch in the face. you had an inkling something else was going on, but you did not know how ugly and groteseque they would look and you did not know how dangerous they would be. dont move. the most terrifying mechanic the game told you about and now you have to do it perfectly, several times, or else people WILL die. it makes you, the player, freeze and hold your breath alongside the characters. the gameplay itself causes you to freeze in terror, or else.

and the plot twist still doesn’t end after that. not only did the danger return in full force chasing your characters down at horrifying speed, but the danger is josh’s fucking sister and the girl the group has been in mourning over for an entire year. the big bad is a loved one.

in MoM and in LH, once you understand the plot twist...... that’s it. there IS no other one. once the characters in MoM realize that it’s just a gas...... decisions are easy after that. just don’t attack any of the hallucinations and well.... yeah. that’s it. there is no other relevant plot twist. the only “other one” that you might include would be that the military people the group calls for help actually ends up shooting them if they’re still on the boat when they get there. but at the same time that can be avoided entirely if you just get them out before then.

in LH, the plot twist is just that anthony made it all up. there are no demons or supernatural things going on. vince really is just a regular guy. little hope is just a regular town.... that’s it. the big twist is that there is no twist. it’s normal. it’s mundane. you went in expecting something....... not necessarily big but something significant. and the twist is that it’s not. for the lack of a better word, it’s literally a let down.

so yeah. this was my thoughts after finishing the games and reading seafrost-fangirl’s post linked above where they also compared the twists in UD and the anthology games. for DAYS i’ve been trying to wrap my head around why the anthology games didn’t hit me the way UD did and their post definitely helped me realize, or at least guess closer, as to why.

(also before someone says “but little hope DID have smthg supernatural going on!! there’s still more to the mystery!!!” bc of the demon with megan. i already talked about my theory that yeahhhh no. there wasn’t a demon at all. the demon standing at meg’s side was also just a figment of anthony’s imagination. i explain more in the post.)

[creepy-bi-day]

Hello again!!! :) hope I'm not annoying you either my asks, Can you please write headcanons for the pastas (anyone you want) with s/o who is a detective??? You don't have write this if you don't want!!! Also I love, love, LOVE your blog!!! 🖤

You’re not bothering me at all!! I kind of like having people send asks more than once like it makes me super happy—

Also sorry it took so long to get to this, I kind of took a nap that ended up being almost nine hours

I hope you guys realize if you give me free reign, 9 times out of 10 Cody will be in it— Can you guys tell who my top five creeps are yet?

EJ, Hoodie, and Cody with a Detective S/O:

Eyeless Jack:

Honestly, he kinda kind of indifferent.

I mean, he’s made it clear that if you try to turn him or anyone in, he has no issues destroying everyone you love

He’ll probably try to get you to hide some of the evidence that someone left behid

Cough cough Jeff

High key digs your mind tho

Will have deep conversations about conspiracy theories with you though

“I’m just saying, if they knew we existed, it would probably incite riots and cause mass panic.”

“Aren’t you humble.”

Will probably stalk you more than he usually would stalk his s/o

Just to make sure you’re not slipping up

He’s constantly asking about your job and what you’re working on, even if he already knows

Expect him to be more tense around you when someone he tolerates in the house slipped up

“Jack, I’m not going to incriminate any of you-“

“That’s not the point. You can betray us at any time, human.”

It took a long time for him to trust you even though he was pretty much head over heels for you

What can he say?

You just smell so fucking delicious

He knew you were his as soon as he caught your scent anyway, so why would you backstab him?

After all, he’s your saving grace, right?

I wouldn’t put it past him to pry through your belongings to see which cases you’re working on

He’s nosy anyway, but the fact you’re a detective?? And he’s a murderer that lives in a house with other murderers?

Can you blame him?

Overall? He wouldn’t care much once you gain his trust. Just know that if you break it?

He will kill everyone you love then lock you away in the basement.

Can’t kill his mate

But he can drive her mad~

Hoodie:

Oh boy

He probably knew before you told him honestly.

Stalking is kind of his thing anyway, so, much like Jack, expect to feel watched all the time

He doesn’t take as long to trust you as the Fekst, though.

He’s going to know about your job before he decides to interact with you at all

I mean, you probably caught his eye doing some research at a crime scene

He’d carefully weigh his options before letting himself into your life

But don’t get me wrong, he’s just as bad as Jack when it comes to threatening you

He’s a lot more quiet about his life

Will help you if you’re stuck on a case

You have to ask though for it though, because he’s not just going to give up his secrets

“I just, how the hell is there no DNA at the scene?”

“Gloves, hood, and a face guard. That’s all you really need. Gets fingerprints, hair, and saliva. That’s assuming they don’t cry.”

The first time he helps it kind of freaks you out

Like you know he kills for work but damn

Eventually, he’s going to get tired of you drowning yourself in work and either convince you or convince you to move in with him

And by the second I mean he’s going to kidnap you

Plus side you don’t have to stress about random murderers anymore

You know the ones you’re with

XVirus:

“You do what.”

Doesn’t take it well when he finds out.

Probably won’t talk to you for a few weeks, he feels betrayed

Unlike the others, he only would’ve known if you tell him

You hadn’t seen him actually mad up until this point and honey—

It’s terrifying

One minute he’s smiling and making jokes with you like normal, the next his eyes lose all emotion and he’s in your face

Holding you against the wall as he glares and seethes at you

“So you fucking lied to me too?”

“I-I don’t know what-“

He’d laugh, and you can hear the hurt

He’d just leave without a trace, and you wouldn’t be able to find him until he shows up again

It takes a while for him to accept that you literally go around looking for killers like him

Once he realizes you mean him no harm?

He’ll slowly start to accept your work. Pop up at your door again after a few weeks with a really pretty necklace for you

You don’t ask him how he got it

Like Brian, he’s going to help. But he’s going to offer

“Need anything? You look stressed. I can help with the case, help with breaking the bed-“

“Cody, first get your mind out of the gutter. Second, why would someone leave only one fingerprint? It’s almost like it’s on purpose?”

Just know if you ever cross him, he’s going to kill your family and friends

And unlike Jack? He’s going to make you watch as he sticks a needle in each of their necks, showing off how smart he is to you

Because his “viruses”? Kill within minutes. But it’s a slow death that has them begging to die sooner.

[letmewritemylife]

Like Father, Like Son (Part 1)

My name is revenge and I'm here to save my name. - Shinedown (My Name)

A/N  Stephen only does a small appearance because his brain short-circuited for overload of cuteness (but can we blame him tho?)

TRIGGER WARNINGS Referenced abuse, referenced abusive parents

A blond guy throws Lara a look as she pummers the punching bag hard enough to almost break it, but he soon decides to move past her upon Jonathan's deadly glare. Lara smirks at him before kicking the bag. "Stay down, Fido."

Jonathan cocks an eyebrow, offended, and stops the punching bag from hitting his face. "Shut up and don't destroy your brand new muscle," he comments sarcastically and she scoffs.

She walks past him and reaches for her bag. "May I go to the locker room or you'd rather give someone else a dirty look before?"

He grins and follows her into the corridor. "If you wanted to kick his ass later on, you just had to ask." She giggles and swats his arm away playfully. "Also, it's either me or Dumbledore."

She sighs as she reaches for the door of the locker room. "I need no bodyguard, thank you very much."

He gasps, something he does way too often just for the sake of drama. "I'm your brother. It's my God-given right to-"

"Annoy me," she interrupts him before closing the door behind her.

The locker room is almost empty, the only women around being instructors or very loyal customers. Lara abandons her bag on a lonely bench in the corner of the room, a spot that allows her to see everyone and everything. She removes the bandages around her hands and takes a sip of water. She has barely the time to swallow that her phone is ringing. The screen shows Elize's contact information and Lara is fast to answer, sitting down before her still recovering leg starts aching. "Hey. Need anything?"

"Tony called me. He said he wanted to talk to you but you weren't answering your phone." The woman leans with her side against the windowsill, smiling when her gaze meets a black motorcycle parking by the house.

Lara secures her phone between her face and shoulder and proceeds to change from her training gear into her casual clothes. "He doesn't seem to have tried too much, since I've been training for what? An hour?"

Elize grins. "Actually," she points out, "you and Jon have been gone for three hours at least."

She sighs. "Fair enough, I'll call him back."

"Great. Now I have to go. Oh and tell your brother that I will not be home tonight," she replies with a wide smile as she walks downstairs.

Lara smirks. "Okay, whatever. But keep in mind that tomorrow I want absolutely no detailed description of whatever you've done." She lets her tank top fall in the bag, adding it to the pile of dirty laundry. "Or who."

The Avengers Headquarters are even more crowded than usual, probably owing to some mission that has just been completed. As she walks down the main hallway, Lara inspects all the agents around her. Sam waves his hand when he walks past her and she smiles, until her attention is drawn by a loud crash coming from the nearby room. Lara looks inside through the open door and widens her eyes at the sight of a teenager on the floor. He seems even younger than Parker and looks out of place as he suddenly sits up upon seeing Lara. He moves a hand through his pale hair and looks down ashamed, failing to hide the trail of blood coming out of his nose.

Something snaps inside of Lara and she crouches before him, wrapping a hand around his face and forcing him to look at her. "Are you okay?" she asks as she wipes away the blood from his face. She's almost surprised by how warm his skin is.

He nods, but immediately moves his gaze away from her face and back on the floor. In that moment Tony walks in accompanied by Nick Fury. "I see you've already met our new kid," the inventor says as she helps the teen up.

"Your what?"

Nick takes a step forward. "We found him in an Agency X base. We called you here to talk about his situation."

The boy abruptly looks up, a mix of fear and anxiety written on his pale face. He throws a glance at Nick, then Lara, then Tony and Lara again. She furrows her brows. "I'm not sure I understand what I have to do with him."

Nick gestures to her to come closer and the two retreat to a corner. "He was a part of a project by Agency X. We really don't know what they did to him as he hasn't said a single word yet. We only know he was the only one to survive whatever experiments they were working on and that he is supposed to have some sort of powers."

She arches a brow. "And?"

"And you could train him a little," he concludes, straightening up. "I mean, your powers may even be similar, don't you think?"

Lara scoffs. "Like I know what I do when I use my powers!" She takes a step back. "I can't even train myself properly, how am I supposed to train someone else?"

Nick crosses his arms. "Well, you better figure that out because from tomorrow on that kid's training is your responsibility." He walks past her and gestures Tony to follow him, then turns back to her. "I'll go get you all the information you may need, wait here with the kid," he says before leaving.

Lara sighs. She crosses her arms tightly on her chest and moves closer to the teen. "Looks like I'm your trainer now," she says.

He keeps his gaze on the floor. "Yes, miss."

"At least he is polite." She looks around the room and at the utter chaos around her, almost as if there had been a storm inside the place. "May I know what happened here? Just out of pure curiosity," she asks with a smirk, eyes still on him. He swallows heavily but doesn't answer. "Oh sh*t." She places a hand on his shoulder, which makes him turn his head slightly to the side. His eyes then set on her face, a look of extreme surprise on his face. "Listen, I have done way worse than messing up a room, so as long as you don't kill anyone in front of me we are fine. What happened?"

He stammers for a couple seconds, but finally manages to answer. "I- I don't know. I just… The lights were turned off so… I touched the switch and this happened."

She nods. "Are you okay?"

He looks even more surprised. "Uhm, yes miss."

"Good." She smiles and turns to the door. Tony hands him a folder and she brows through the pages, then she turns back to the teen. "Well, see you tomorrow then. Is nine o'clock fine?" He nods promptly and she smiles again. "Great, bye."

Back at the Sanctum, she abandons her bag in the corner of the library. She then collapses face first onto the couch, letting out a groan. Stephen stifles a laugh and gets up from his chair. "Long day?"

She looks up and gives him a dirty look. "Have you guys finally defeated Sauron?"

He rolls his eyes and sits down on the small portion of the couch not occupied by her. "Not without you, Frodo."

She gets up on her elbows and arches a brow. "Kinda called for it, right?" she groans loudly and manages to sit more or less properly, her legs on Stephen's lap. "I need your help."

He leans back, arms crossed and hands covered in his yellow gloves. Today his hands have really decided to start acting up. "What for?"

"How do I train someone who is one hundred percent scared of me, barely talks to me and that I know nothing about?"

Stephen laughs sarcastically. "Anything else?"

"Oh and an indefinite amount of traumas, for what I know up to now."

He sighs. "Well, you should probably start with talking with him. Don't go too deep and tell him something about yourself too." The cloak joins them and starts pushing him playfully against Lara. He lets out a groan as the sentient relic wraps around his arm.

She muffles a giggle with the back of her hand before proceeding to free him from his sentient restraint. "Anything else? Such as how not to get a falling skyscraper on my back?" She smirks at him, her hands wrapped in thick red fabric.

He rolls his eyes. "Abandon them in the first trashcan you see before getting emotionally attached and keep pieces of clothing out of your private life."

As the cloak abandons its mission of interfering with Stephen's displays of affection, Lara huffs. "He's too old for that," she chirps. "Also, you're welcome."

He sighs loudly. "Thank you."

"Much better." She gently grabs his jaw and places a quick kiss to his cheek. "Thank you too for your help," she concludes as she gets up, her fingers hurrying to move a lock of hair behind her ear.

She reaches for her bag and walks upstairs. Today she feels light, free, happy and she isn't even sure if it's because of her new task or her leg finally recovering. Before getting into the shower, she examines her wound, which seems to improve by the day. Now that she thinks about it, she hasn't asked anyone about Alex yet. She doesn't know whether he is in jail or not, when his trial will be or anything like that, but as hot water runs down her body she is sure she doesn't care. No, she couldn't care less. He will pay and that's it, she doesn't want to waste her time worrying about him. Instead she should start thinking about the teen she has met not even three hours before. She knows nothing about him and, judging by Fury's words, reading S.H.I.E.L.D. files won't be much help.

As she pours shampoo on her open palm, she starts wondering about what happened to him, about what in hell would make someone so scared of everyone and everything. Brad had once told her she was scary, but it was a joke and she was doing it on purpose. She had tried to be as kind as possible to him, but apparently her attitude didn't matter to him. Or maybe he already knows her, maybe someone from Agency X told him about her and all the horrible things she has done. But this wouldn't explain his behaviour being the same with Tony and Fury too. Perhaps because they are part of S.H.I.E.L.D?

When she comes back from her mind castle, she realizes she has been standing in the shower for way too much time. Quickly drying her body and putting on the first clothes available, she plops on her bed with a loud groan. She outstretches her arm and a second later the teen's folder is in her hand. Careful not to ruin the paper with the small drops of water falling down her hair locks, she starts reading. Agent 570. Born 18th July 2010. Project 82. 

Lara rapidly brows through the pages, most of which are detailed pictures of the place he was found in: a big room with greenish walls and small windows. The almost total absence of light had been solved by hanging a couple of LEDs from the ceiling. Tables, chairs and other iron pieces of furniture were lying on the floor among the garbage, some mysterious prints left on the floor suggested a body had been there for a while. The following report confirmed, in fact, her hypothesis: the teen, whose real name had been written nowhere, had been found by a group of agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. who had stormed the place. Unfortunately the entire base was empty, probably evacuated. The only exception was the laboratory in the basement, where the poor boy was standing surrounded by corpses of scientists and other teens his age, the latter brutally slaughtered and the former electrocuted. The date coincided with his fifteenth birthday. How unfortunate.

The light of the Sun crept into the room through the small window just under the ceiling. The tiny opening was the only thing still allowing him to see the world outside his room. As he watched dark boots moving outside the base in the parking lot through the bars, he pondered how much his life had improved after his father's death. Despite all his problems, despite his violence and addictions, at least he allowed him to leave his room. Sometimes. The clicking sound of the lock opening made him turn abruptly just before a guard grabbed his arm and dragged him out of his room.

Lara tries her best to smile as brightly as possible when the teen enters the training facility. "Hey. Slept well?" she asks approaching him, trying not to think about Tony's comments on her being barely taller than a fifteen-year-old.

He nods, but upon seeing her tilting her head, manages to burp out a couple words. "Yes miss, thank you." He looks her in the eye. "You?"

"Not bad, thanks." She plops down on a weight bench, patting the spot beside her. "I wanted to talk with you a little before we started, do you mind?"

He shakes his head and sits down, looking down. "This is gonna be hard as hell," she thinks, biting her lip. "Okay, first of all: what are your abilities?" He furrows his brows, throwing her a confused glance with the corner of his eye, and she corrects the shot. "Do you have any kind of inhuman powers? Enhanced abilities? Former training? Anything on this line?"

He looks back down. "I- I am supposed to..." She leans forward, placing her forearms on her knees. "Electricity. I can- I should control electricity."

She nods, leaning back against the wall. "Good. I can work with that. And," she continues, "how often have you used your powers before?"

He gulps. "Once."

She nods and examines his behaviour. He may even look younger than he already is, all curved on his knees as to protect his vital organs from a possible attack. "Last but not least," she says with a smile. "I should have probably asked you this yesterday, but I'm not good at this kind of stuff. What's your name?"

The teen looks at her and back at the floor, extraordinarily surprised by such a banal question. She leans forward and lowers her voice a little, putting so much effort into soothing it. "I would hate to have to call you with a number, you know…"

He swallows heavily. "I'm Kevin."

She nods. "Lara," she replies with a smile.

Everything happened fast. They handcuffed him and brought him into a laboratory. He tried to understand where he was, but all he saw were bodies. Bodies of teenagers like him. Dead bodies. Slaughtered bodies. What the hell was going on?

"Okay, all you have to do is hit that target." Lara crosses her arms on her chest and tilts her head slightly to the side, examining Kevin's scared expression and his anxious gulp. "It doesn't necessarily have to be a powerful attack, just focus on accuracy. Got it?"

Her confidence in his ability not to tear the whole place down fails to reassure Kevin as he ponders the distance between him and the red target. No more than twenty feet, no wind, no one else in the room but him and her. He lets out a breath and turns to her, waiting for a sign to start.

"Whenever you're ready," she says with a slight movement of her head to the side.

He nods and looks forward, appealing to all his self-control. Energy is flowing in his veins, he can feel it, he just has to order it to hit the target. It's easy.

A thick needle pierced his skin. He screamed, a grey liquid flooding inside his veins and outstretched an arm out of instinct. Next thing he knew countless scientists, way more than he had seen at first, were pushed in all directions, their skin burnt and their eyes turned backwards. The smell of burnt meat was probably the strongest memory he had of that day, as well as the unbearable guilt. He clenched his fists, eyes wide open. What had he done…

As soon as he outstretches his arm a power discharge able to set a forest on fire leaves his palm, not only making a hole in the wall just a couple feet away from the target, but pushing him back on the floor too. He blinks his eyes as Lara rushes to his side and he brings a hand to his face, touching the trail of blood running down the side of his head. She has not even touched him that he's already sat up, staring at the wall repairing itself before his very eyes. He lets out a breath and buries his face in his hands.

Lara is about to touch his shoulder in an attempt to calm him, but a small sparkle of energy tingles her finger. "It's… not bad for a first attempt," she comments with what is probably meant to be a mouth-closed smile.

He pins his arms on his knees, a hand moving through his hair. "It's not my first attempt."

As Lara adjusts herself in a kneeling position, her magic repairs the light cables, severely damaged by the unnatural discharge. "You're talking to someone whose first attempt at magic included almost burning alive a cat," she smirks, but her joke fails to make Kevin feel better.

He laughs ironically. "You are not like me. You killed Thanos, you saved the Avengers, you fought more members of Agency X than I have ever met in my life. You do not compare."

"You're missing the part when I completely mess up everything, almost kill everyone and do nothing but training for years just to be able not to hurt others." Her expression turns serious as her gaze sets on Kevin. "You and I are more similar than I would like to admit."

"Because you're ashamed to be like a teen who can't even use his powers?" he teases, abruptly getting up and clenching his fists.

She sighs and slowly stands up, arms crossed. "Because I'd prefer not to think about the fact that there are still people who have suffered like me, if not more." 

She takes a tentative step forward, but he jumps back, suddenly upset. "How are you so sure I've suffered? You know nothing about me!"

"I see you, how you behave, how you talk, and trust me when I say I was just like you, hiding my emotions in a stupid effort to look stronger or cooler or whatever, but it led me nowhere. I want something better for you."

"No you don't, no one here does. You all just want me for my powers, you want to use me," he whines as he starts to tear up, a knot forming in his throat.

She swallows heavily. "I- Is that what they told you?"

He nods and collapses on the closest bench, crossing his arms on his knees and leaning forward as he cries. She kneels in front of him, pondering what to do. After a moment of hesitation, she decides to sit beside him and caress his back. "I'm not here to hurt you, no one is. I just want to help you, I promise." He shakes his head as his breath hitches and his rave of emotions intensifies. She bites her bottom lip and she wonders if Stephen ever felt so powerless whenever he saw her tearing up. "I can go if you want me to," she whispers.

Upon hearing no answer, she gets up and, after throwing him a last worried look, she leaves the room. But not before having cured his wound from afar.

The water running down the tap is ice cold, almost as much as the breeze coming through the open window, but after all such a tiny bathroom cools down pretty quickly. As he rinses his face, Kevin thinks about everything that has happened the day before. The cut on his forehead has almost completely disappeared, but he tries not to be grateful for it. "She's an enemy, do not forget it." But it's hard to remember it when your enemies mend your wounds and your friends cut them back open. This unforgivable weakness may be the main reason why his father never trusted him with becoming an agent. Not that he had ever expressed some sort of distrust in his abilities. Well, he had never expressed much at all.

After drying his face, he runs out of the room towards the training facility. His plan is simple: training as much as humanly possible until he's strong enough to escape and go back where he came from. He has wondered more than once why he should do it, why he should go back to a place he has always despised with all his heart and soul, a place where he was treated like a lab rat or so, and he wonders what his mother would have done. That poor woman he never got to see much seemed to have been, according to what his father had told him, a smart and brilliant woman, someone he could have always gone to for a piece of advice. And now he could really use one.

The door of the training room cracks weakly as he opens it and he sticks his head inside, glad to see nothing but training tools. He walks in, but promptly freezes in place when his eyes catch the sight of a woman doing pull-ups in a side of the room, her hands wrapped around a metal bar and her whole body a good five feet above the floor. As soon as she hears his footsteps, she sets her blue eyes on him and he could bet his soul she's scanning his whole being. After a moment, she goes back to her training and Kevin stands there, staring at her muscles tensing and relaxing under her purple tank top.

He lets out a breath and walks to the punching bag. He clenches his fists and hits it with all his strength, exhaling a breath. One punch after the other, he tries to keep up with the rhythm of her sit-ups. He tries, he really does, to imagine her face on that punching bag, to imagine her livid body instead of that brownish material, blood trailing down her face and marks all over her skin, but that vision soon leaves place to that of someone else, a tall man with broad shoulders and no hair on his head.

One punch after the other, he pours his anger into those repetitive movements as a feeling of guilt takes over him because dang it, that's not the person he should hate. The person he is supposed to despise is currently placing her feet on the wall to better land on the floor. The person he is supposed to despise is walking over to him and throwing him an inspecting look.

"Hey," she greets him coldly. Kevin stops, he doesn't even know why. He should just turn to her and punch her on the jaw. "You're gonna ruin your hands by punching like that," she says casually, not even looking him in the eye.

He nods. "Why do you even care?" Her gaze moves to the floor and she shrugs, visibly hurt. Kevin doesn't know what happens to him, he just feels stupid, really stupid. He sighs and stops the punching bag with a hand. "I mean… how am I supposed to do it?"

She outstretches an arm and clenches her fist, rotating it slowly to show him. He nods and, after following her example, begins punching the bag again. “Go on, train me. It’ll only make it easier for me to kill you,” he thinks, but a part of him is sure he could never do it and not only because of her powers. 

Lara examines his movements for a moment, then nods. “Better,” she mumbles.

She turns around and is about to leave, when Kevin stops again and calls her. “Miss?” He puts all his energy in keeping his voice from trembling. Her eyes set on his face and she locks her arms on her chest. He swallows heavily and fails to keep his gaze on her eyes, a senseless guilt taking over him. “I- Sorry… for yesterday.”

She tilts her head slightly to the side as her lips turn upwards. “Don’t worry about it, it’s fine.” 

He nods and something crosses his mind, an idea he should be ashamed to even consider. Unfortunately he, just like his father, isn’t really one for thinking things through. “I was wondering if… you know… you still wanted to train me.” Upon her raising her eyebrow, his cheeks are lit on fire. “You don’t have to, I mean-”

She waits for a moment, pondering the situation. Finally, she decides she can still try and make it work. “Oh no, I will. I am not having another discussion with Stark about why I should spend more time with humans rather than sentient cloaks.”

Kevin widens his eyes. “What?”

She smiles. “Long story.”

[ordinaryfander]

The new video sure was something, uh

So, as usual I'm here to brag about the newest video. This time, I'm going to analyze "Dealing with INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS", and it's a long analysis/theory, so be patient with me.

This will majorly center around Remus and "the Others", so beware! (I'm so happy I don't have to call them Dark Sides anymore, it was never fair)

I wrote many points to consider, and each one will take quite a bit. With that, let's begin!

1) So:

[ 1) Remus: Who he is, what he does, why he's there ]

I think we can all agree that his debut was a surprise, especially because most of us were expecting the "Green Side" to be associated with something like Envy, or Greed, since dark green is sometimes associated with money.

However, we got Remus, aka Intrusive Thoughts, which I think is, in my opinion, the best option they could face.

So: he is Thomas' nasty thoughts, the evil, twisted fantasies, and he keeps Thomas' awake at night with dark ideas, he gives him the worst thoughts to deal with, things Thomas is deeply troubled to think of, because as Logan said, his catholic beliefs instilled in him that thought is the precursor of action.

Remus is there, and why is he there?

The fun thing is: I don't think he's there to be "useful". Later I'll explain where I think his Character Arc is going to go, but Remus really doesn't have any reason to be there except that intrusive thoughts are something absolutely everyone deals with. You all have to consider that, even if those are Thomas' Sides, they're also everyone's Sides. We all have Logic, Creativity, Morality, Anxiety, and we all lie (I'll return to that).

And this traits help us live with eveyday life?

But intrusive thoughts? They just majorly upset us, and worsen our view of ourselves, but we all still have them.

However, I'm really happy with this choice, because Thomas is starting to really show what I've been screaming since Deceit's debut: things are not black and white, and he is NOT a completely good person, because NO ONE is, not 100%. We can act like good people and sincerely mean to do good, but we're still gonna have dark, horrible thoughts. And, as Thomas' said, that's ok. Those thoughts don't make you a bad person if you don't act on them, but you should consider a therapist/psychiatrist if they bother you too much. There's no shame in that, too: please, reach out for help, if needed.

[ 2) Remus' relationships with: Roman, Deceit, and Virgil ]

- Remus' relationship with Roman

At 35:50, it's officially and definitely confirmed that Remus and Roman are brothers, probably even twins.

A moment after the Duke disappears, Roman says "I don't like him".

Thomas goes, at Roman: "So, you have a brother?"

And Roman clearly is uncomfortable with it: "Yeah... It's a little like looking into a fun-house mirror. But instead of a giant head, or, like, long legs or a tiny torso... It shows you everything you don't want to be."

Thomas answers: "That doesn't sound like a very funny house"

And Roman: "Yeah... Uhh, whatever, y'know-? (...)"

Roman and Remus obviously don't get along, but we understood that the moment Remus knocked out Roman with that weapon I don't know the name of (sorry rip, don't focus on this :'))

Roman considers himself a dashing Disney Prince, a knight in shining armor, an example of bravery and justice, while Remus is pure chaotic evil. He doesn't care what other people think and his idea of fun and fantasy is twisted, and he isn't afraid of Roman and his sword in the slightest. They're opposites.

Unluckily we didn't get much brotherly interactions or interactions at all, so there's no much to say, but those two have a whole damn lot to work through.

The question that many have been asking is: do Roman and Remus share a room?

The answer is: I honestly don't know. It would be a complete and utter mess that Roman would hate to have to share. Time will tell.

- Remus' relationship with Deceit

We haven't even seen them interacting on screen, but we already know so damn much about it.

WAY BACK in "Can LYING Be Good?", this was said about Deceit:

Roman: "If you really don't want to know something, he (Deceit) can keep our moutjs shut."

And Logan immediately goes "You don't want to believe it. That's where his (Deceit's) power comes from. Things that you want to believe. Things that you wish were true. And things that you wish weren't."

And later:

Deceit is able to shut up the Sides, but he's also able to hide them. That's what he did with Remus, he kept him locked away.

I've always been rooting for morally gray/sympathetic Deceit, but I'll try to stay neutral on this: though, I really believe that Deceit was trying to protect Thomas.

Remus is... A lot, to say the least. He's pure chaos, and isn't useful or helpful (for now) and doesn't even care to be. Deceit, on the other side, really cares about Thomas, and he showed that in many ways: he just cares about Thomas in his own way. Missing the callback of SVS still hurts Thomas after all this time, and I already explained why Deceit tried his best to do what was good for Thomas in court (https://ordinaryfander.tumblr.com/post/183871155711/thomas-shouldve-gone-to-do-the-callback-he).

I also said, tho, that in SVS Deceit was frustrated to no end because the other Sides weren't listening to him.

Look how confused he is at Patton's words.

You know why? Because Thomas thinks what he says. Thomas lies, and Deceit is there to prove it.

But they didn't listen to Deceit, but Deceit isn't like Virgil: Virgil waited lots of episodes to be listened to until he finally ducked out.

Deceit straight up released Thomas' worst thoughts because Thomas had to face in the most hard way that he is n o t a completely honest person. Deceit just got really pissed and went: "You know what? I'm useful, you need me and I'll prove it."

And he just did that. He straight up released Remus, Thomas' worst thoughts, on them. Deceit is the only one who could do that, and you know why he did?

Remus: "Thomas, speaking of knowledge; recently a snake offered me a morsel from the tree of knowledge. He said you're wanting to be more honest and be direct dealing with your issues, no longer will you deceive yourself about the ugliness within you, me!"

Deceit smacked in the face Thomas with Remus, so Thomas could get the point. I think he did. "If you don't want to lie to yourself, at least face who you really are"

About Remus and Deceit alone...

I don't think Deceit really likes Remus. Deceit is kinda goofy, but he's also sophisticated, charming, a silver-tongue. Remus is a stinky garbage man.

Deceit wants to protect Thomas' reputation, Remus would destroy it. Probably Remus likes Deceit (I think he likes everyone, he doesn't care), but Deceit doesn't really reciprocate the feeling. I could surely be proven wrong, those are just my points.

- Remus' relationship with Virgil

Boy oh boy.

Well, the video already said what I could'be said: Virgil dislikes Remus, he doesn't trust him, but he's also not as scared of him anymore like he used to be.

Virgil, at Remus (32:27): "I thought you were some... Horrible illness. Now I can see that you're just a common cold, a mild inconvenience that's gone before you know it."

And Remus looks at him like this:

That's not a evil look. He's soft, almost proud.

He isn't even offended. He just goes "Eheh, you tickle me, emo."

And Virgil has one blink-and-you-miss-it-moment when he genuinely smiles.

I think he did somehow used to like (platonically y'all) Remus, even if he was scared of him. They were still... Friends, maybe, at some point. Deceit and Virgil never had such a kind-of-sweet moment, even if just a few seconds long, and even if the Duke and Virgil still are not likely to get along in general and for the time being. The Duke's phrase about Old Times wasn't a welcomed one by Virgil.

I don't wanna dig in too much else, we already know that Virgil doesn't still trust the Duke. That was just some looks I noticed that stuck with me.

Also, I won't ignore the fragment revelead his name and said: "Of course (I told you, Thomas), I would never hide anything to you." And it cuts right off to Virgil. Eh. Busted.

- How Will His Character Arc Go?

That one is the most important question.

Everyone is gonna believe what they will, but I don't think he'll get... Sympathetic, even? He's just pure chaos.

Maybe his Arc will entangle with a Roman new one, maybe his Arc will entangle with Deceit's. I do hope that Thomas and co. will now value Deceit better, he really isn't that bad... At least, not compared to Remus.

Deceit shut up Logan guys, but Remus straight up murdered him. Even if they can't literally die, y'all really can't close a whole eye on that.

So I just think he's gonna stay around and do mischief, but will surely get some sort of development related to other characters. I'm almost sure he won't get a Solo Arc, surely not for now. However, I'm pretty sure they'll get back to talk how to manage him, and how he can become more useful.

- Conclusions and predictions for the next video

Honestly, sorry this was messier than my normal analysis/theory posts, but I don't fully know how to take Remus yet.

Y'all see, the moment I knew Deceit I made my mind up: he's morally gray, he has a purpose, he has to get credit for it.

Remus confused me in every possible way. He's chaos. I'm sure we won't see him in the next video, but I predict maybe Deceit will be in it, just to look how good of a job he's done.

And that's pretty much it. I hope you all have a good time :>

[half-blood-goods]

Alright, so i watched Descendants 3. Time for my quotes.

This song is good. Easily the worst out of the 3 opening numbers we had, but still great

Let's see who's coming

YAY DIZZY IS COMING

Oh hey it's Mr Smee has twins

Oh hey Facilier has a daughter. Wasn't she called Freddie in that animated series tho?

Also Mal's hair is finally looks good. That straight one was horrible

Lol Audrey what's with your hair? And why do you look so depressed?

Is that Did i Mention i hear?

These 3 can go jump off a cliff

WAIT WAIT HOLD ON WHAT'S GOING ON

WHAT

YEEEEEEEEES

OH SHUT UP YOU BITCH NO ONE CARES

Lol Doug has long hair

OH SHUT UP YA HAG

Why is Tremaine so young?

Also Drizella didn't even come to say goodbye to her daughter

They don't talk much do they

Cough it up Ben, you walked into this

Who are you? Hades? Is that you?

Yeah like that's going to work

You my man is the 2nd greatest villain of all and king of the Underworld. You deserved better.

Also who is ruling the Underworld now that he's here? No one?

Dragon Mal is back

Oh great more Audrey

Don't try to make me feel bad for her

This museum needs a better security guard

The scepter is calling her? Im having Sleeping Beauty flashbacks

Okay she looks 100% better as a villain

This song is SO GOOD

What? They can't close the Isle! Goddamn im getting feels

Ohhh Evie is there for a RUDE awakening

Oh i already love these 2

OH SHIT AUDREY IS HERE

Umm no? Ben left you because you are a terrible person?

OH NO YOU DIDN'T

Welp, Mal is old now

Back to the Isle i guess

Oh crap i forgot about this damn talking dog

Paralells. Paralells everywhere

Oh go jump off a cliff

Everyone is sleeping now

OH THE LAKE THAT'S RIGHT

Oh ok Mal is back. We can go faster than a turtle now

Oh hey Dr. Facilier

Finally a good Villain Parent-Child relationship

They seriously left the motorcycles unsupervised?

HARRY

Cerberus? Where is my boy? I want to see him. Right now.

Oooh shiny

What? Just a disc? Seriously? Am sad

Ooops. Busted.

DAD?!?!?

MAL IS A DEMIGOD

Wow gods not caring about their kids what a surprise

Celias just standing there like "K imma just stand there"

Gonna get a song?

Yep

"I steal souls. Were you expecting flowers?" LOL

Amazing Father-Daughter duet!

I love this guy already

OH SHIT

So this is what talking to your ex is like.

OH CHRIST THEY STATUES

They seriously didn't check behind their back?

OH CHRIST THE EMBER

OH CHRIST UMA

Yay the golden trio is back

Lol are they serious? They are trying to reason with them?

Trying to make deal with Ursula's daughter. Haven't you heard of Ariel?

Oh the sweet sweet smell of passive-agression

Clawmarks?

Ok we have a problem.

SING UMA MAH QUEEN

Literal Dance Battle

Okay the songs are great so far

Everyone's "Goddamit" face is priceless

Oh my gods these are so gay for each other i can't

Just kiss him for gods' sake

His smugass smile i can't

OH MY GODS BEN IS GONE WILD

Where did you come from? And what's with the water gun?

Oh yeah the lake

Oh he's got a nice beard

Just roll with it Ben

Set the window, lock the door! It's our house now!

Okay, that went...fairly easily

Okay the gang is all together but there's still like 35 minutes of the movie

Necklace with 3D printer. Very smooth Carlos.

This boy is traumatized

Oh here we go. The liar revealed plot

Welp that's for the ember

But to be honest, she deserved this

And that was the moment when Mal realised... She fucked up

HOLY SHIT THEY ARE GONE

Another good song

Oookay this was awesome. Like damn

Audrey is gone? I mean i still hate her but like i don't want her to die

Where are Audrey's parents? Like, they don't care about their daughter?

Of course instant forgive

FEELS

He gave her the ember. What's gonna happen?

THEY ARE GONNA DESTROY THE BARRIER? HELL YEAH!

This speech was amazing

So all the villains are free now huh?

Well then Ben better take care of Mal or else Hades is gonna vaporize him

I loved this movie

It's a shame that the franchise is probably over.

It's a shame we never got to see Scar. I mean he's the best villain.

Also i'd like to say: Cameron, we miss you

[applesauccce]

What’s up gamers, back at it again with complaints and over sharing about my life. I swear I’m not turning into a life blogger, I just want somewhere to spew my thoughts that isn’t google docs. (Quick tw: gaslighting, emotional abuse, homophobia, eating disorders)

Anyways, so as a quick summary, I got on decent meds, have seen a real difference, but am still having a multitude of problems. Brain fog, inability to concentrate or focus on tasks (even if it’s something I want to do, like cleaning my room or painting), extreme memory loss, both short term and long term, an excess of nervous energy that prevents me from sleeping or concentrating, over sensitivity to various stimuli, food texture sensitivities, etc etc etc. I’m working with a very nice psychiatrist (he’s been very supportive) and hopefully will remember to find a therapist to work with as well.

Basically, we’ve been running through the potential causes for my issues and will slowly eliminate them. The current list of most likely causes of me not being able to function is as follows. Adhd (runs in the family on both sides, I have a lot in common with adhd individuals), Autism (likely, based on my behaviors), PTSD (welcome to Trauma Town), Anxiety (no shit Sherlock), and Depression (my current meds need more time to take full effect). Currently we are waiting to see if giving my current meds more time to take effect will help at all, but it’s very likely that it won’t solve everything.

Now here’s my problem. My mom (bless her heart in every way, she is an angel on earth) is extremely supportive in every way. She listens to me, validates my worries, asks genuine questions about my experiences, and is generally open minded to most everything. She genuinely wants the best for me and has learned over the years that her idea of what’s best may not necessarily be the solution, so she has chosen to be open minded and supportive.

My father on the other hand (my parents are divorced btw, you’ll see why in a moment) is the exact opposite. Take every boomer parent that thinks they know best. has the most set in stone and stubborn mindset, and throw in a heavy dash of narcissism (scratch that, pour in the whole container) and you have my trash bag of a father. To name just a few things that he does/says.............(brace yourself, it’s a long list)

Barely tolerates me being queer (pansexual, told him. Non binary, cannot tell him unless I want to be disowned, abused, and murdered)

Believes that women shouldn’t work after they are married and they need to have kids

Claims that trans, nb, and gender fluid people are “corrupted” and have been sent by Satan to destroy the nuclear family

Thinks “the gays” are some angry liberal movement, “just like those awful BLM people”. My favorite things he’s said is “they just want govenerment funding and special laws passed to give them the power to sue religious people”, “if you want respect, why don’t you go out and organize your gay friends and do a service project to show you’re good people”, “if someone’s uncomfortable with a gay person, they have the right to refuse service!” “But what if was the other way around? What if a gay person was uncomfortable with a religious person and refused them service?” “Thats discrimination!”, “I tolerate gay people! I’ve had gay friends!” “......you do realize that means next to nothing right?” “hOw RuDe!”, and finally “yeah, you’d marry a woman just to spite me.”

I was prescribed birth control by my dr for extremely painful periods. I then happened to go visit my bf at the time and since I didn’t want to stay in my moms house (had issues with her husband, he’s a nice guy tho, we chill now), his mom offered to let me stay in their spare room, as long as I kept the door locked at night. He found out and immediately called me a whore and said I was ruining my life, had used his insurance to get the birth control to have sex, and was a disrespectful disgrace to the family. He then proceeded to tell his entire family.

When I was talking about the possible diagnosis for my issues, I mentioned autism and he laughed and said “you don’t have autism, you’re normal. Plus, you don’t look like it, and you’re smart. Trust me, I know mental handicaps, I grew up with a handicapped sister.” (His sister does not have autism and is an extreme case, she needs round the clock care). Like thanks for invalidating my thoughts and research, saying I don’t look “disabled enough”, and saying I’m too smart to have problems.

When I was discussing my eating issues, I mentioned that it was likely I was/am anorexic, based on my behaviors and thought process surrounding food. He laughed and said “oh don’t be dramatic. You’re not anorexic. Look at you! Still plump and healthy, you have meat on your bones!” I told him it wasn’t about physical appearance, it was about the mental process about food. He rolled his eyes and said to stop self diagnosing myself. Like thanks for again invalidating me.

Is in general, a gaslighting, narcissistic, self righteous bitch who thinks he is the most amazing and religious person in the world. He constantly complains about not being able to find a new wife (I wonder why /s)

Not to mention his absolute cultish fanaticism over religion. Like don’t even get me started. He’s the reason that people think Mormons are cultists.

Anyways, so my dad sucks ass, but thinks he’s a god among men. The only reason I moved in with him was because at the time my mental health was really bad and I was having a very hard time dealing with my moms husband. Things are a lot better now and I’m lowkey considering moving back in with my mom bc holy fuck I am so sick of dealing with my father.

Also I’m trying to find a therapist to help me figure things out and help find a diagnosis. If it is autism, I’m going to shove it in his face and laugh at him. And if/when I get diagnosed with an eating disorder, I am also going to shove it in his face and tell him he’s a bitch. Can’t wait till he realizes that all his children hate him and are never going to “choose to live with their daddy” bc they’d rather not be gaslighted and emotionally abused.

[renaer-is-allegedly-hot]

session 6

so pdfing and jpging things for tumblr is hard so ur just gonna deal with this have fun

I'm sleepy

Also criminal minds is v good

"rain makes sleepy" or smth I can't process anything rn

"can I just stop.. Stop trying .. With discord"

We're so quiet

And out of it

"if I have an extra belt, I'll just hook it to it" - dom2020, about the loss of his window blinds stick thing

The only people w blinds problems r jacob n dom apparently

Jacob: can we start at 3

Jacob: can we start at 4

Jacob: can we start at 5

Lol ok

If lillian is a reformed horse girl dom is a reformed cow boy

JACOB IS GOING TO REPLACE THE MILK IN DOM'S HOUSE WITH HIS

"I'm going to go to your house and replace the milk in your house with mine"

Dom didn't know males could lactate

  Last time we finished downtime w a bomb I guess

An explosion outside of our home

N then we found out the one goblin or smth killed by the explosion was the last key holder of the oh it was a gnomes it was an associate of renaer's father

Asyna given a necklace by a child + asyna's fish spirit thing

  We go into mirt's house in one of the sitting rooms

Renaer is pacing and looks concerned n frantic

U missed sylvia's question oops

Ok wait suddenly we started talking about trump and politics what happened

Ok so when it comes to protesters burning stuff like cars and businesses there are a lot of reports that it's not protesters and that it's police and/or random ppl just joining to break things

I haven't looked into that as much but one of the biggest arguments is that ppl who were really protesting wouldn't b burning down the low-income businesses n stuff that have been

  Adam asking to renaer and floon if the gnome had a reason to come to our house

Maybe gnome found out ppl were watching and maybe wanted to give us the thing

Adam asking if we need the body

if he didn't have it on him then the authorities would've confiscated

There r speak w dead practices ig

Not really any reason to believe it's not on the body

Mirt asks us to recount the events

Looked like zents

Why would zents want the gnome

Renaer said smth

All of us r flustered from day's events

Theo got 15

One of the neighbors fallah the elf person had said someone wandered off

Adam tells them abt which building the attack probs came from

Asyna brings up necklace and said it was from a puppet

Mirt takes the necklace and is looking at it

Four jewels hanging from the broken necklace, reddish-orange almost marbles

Looks like one of them had been pulled off

Stone impervious to scrying magic

Stone looks like ?????

Either with the police or on the zent or idk

Could ask trench to find it bc expert tracker

Adam runs arcana check on it

Rolls 18, learn it could have smth to do w the element of fire

"can we throw it into the fire?"

Gonna dangle the necklace over the candle

No reaction

Asyna has her deer, summons it

Comes out, paces, looks at asyna expectantly

Naya is a scrying deer so u can tell it to scry

"I'll show naya the necklace, be like, 'scry'"

Jumps around, backs up toward house front then looking for us to follow

Mirt is meeting w associates

Adam: "invite us" . "sometime"

Renaer says he'll lie low probs bc worried abt his fate

Floon says ditto basically

We're following naya and watching it move through the streets

Right as the sun sets make it further into sea ward and then naya stops and returns to the token

Back in the direction of our house toward a gated, walled-off manor house w elegant metal bars blocking some sight and a low wall covering it, locked gate

Building behind it looks two stories tall

You do not recognize the building

No visible guards, just the wall itself

Some light coming in from windows but no one in front of the windows walking around

Some light lit on the second story

Sylvia's gonna jump over it ig but I have to play w thE CHILD

Sylvia wants to use a bear

R we using my dog

Or is asyna turning into a bear

No one's around it's night

We're gonna try picking the lock first ig

Oh nvm we're knocking

Asyna is knocking

Waits a little, no response

Door made out of solid wood but we're just gonna lockpick instead of letting adam destroy it

Theo tries lockpicking, puts ear to door and eventually can't pick open lock

If asyna turns into an animal she can open the door

Squirrel!asyna time does it ez

Rolls 15 for perception

Squirrel!asyna is on the wall, there's a pathway that goes forward and one branching off towards the left to what's probably a guest house

Adam is gonna send message, eventually we notice a groundskeeper w two mastiffs

They're kinda far from us, over 100 ft away they're just making rounds

Asyna might try to unlock the door as a squirrel

Strength check as squirrel

Dogs r getting closer

Asyna can't open it

Could knock when the groundskeepers r closer

When mastiff+groundskeeper come closer we'll try that

OOP just asyna is rolling initiative as a squirrel

Lmao rolled nat20

Asyna might die ???

Climbs up wall again

Gets onto top of wall

Older human gentleman just pulls dogs aside

Groundskeeper says we can't go in and eventually walks away

Adam "not even someone who has official business with the house's master ?"

Rolls a 9, groundskeeper says come back in the sun

There's a dirt path ???? One going forward towards a porch into the main building, and a side path that eventually diverges abt 50 feet up the path further into the courtyard

Not a manor w manicured gardens, otherwise just p flat

We're gonna stealthily run for it

We make it to the main door of the house, it's unlocked - doesn't even look like it could be traditionally locked bc it's just a display door

We forgot to lock the door we left

60 feet away

Adam is giving me bardic inspiration whispered

He's playing a soft lullaby

You RUN

Can kinda shut it, to left you see the two dogs and groundskeeper but they don't notice you and you sneak back

We go into the villa

Go in, shut the door haha frozen computer

We enter and see immediately to the left 15 ft away a shut door, further down the hallway a long dinner setup

Dinner table turned over on its side

Staircase and another set of doors to right

But most of all there r dead bodies littered in the hallway

Probs 10ish

Some dressed in typical guardsmen attire w spears, smaller number of bodies covered in zents attire

We hear sounds of active fighting upstairs

Inspect the dead bodies

No one recognized, one of them collapsed in front of a doorway leading into a

Five different exits including door we came from and stairs

Check the other exits

Naya is summoned but it doesn't work

Oh bc it's once a day

Nvm there are four different doorways

One w a guard slumped over in front of it

Go to door to immediate left

Adam stealthily cracks door open, looks like a storage room

There's a skinny 5ft wide staircase to the right

Gonna check another door

Peek into another room w two human men dressed in black zent robes w maces at their belts and at the sound of the door, turn and r shocked for a second

Cel goes first

Groot gets 6 for initiative idk if there r any modifiers

They're running forward to attack

U roll 17+4 for first insight

U have sneak attack against one of the targets

14 pts of damage gOD I'M SO SORRY Y'ALL I TOOK A FAT MINUTE

U run up and stab him and he looks p heavily wounded

Cel has tripped and fallen for reasons

U get 4 damage he tries to hit u in the head so the wooden part of the mace hits ur head

Asyna

Pulls out ice knife

21 to hit, going for the one that hit me

Rolls a 1 LMAO

Ice knife

Couldn't hit him w full attack but secondary part of the attack hit him and has some damage

Adam

Runs into line of sight, they look cut up but not bloodied

Casts vicious mockery on the one u stabbed

Points at hole in gut "I bet the hole in ur gut is not as large as the hole in your heart"

4 damage

Theo

Strikes and misses

Groot

2 damage

Dom's gonna

kill my dog

Other guy attacks theo

Hits

U do 5 damage

Ok so

Ig every time u fight

U can use sneak attack ??

9 pts to damage

Ok I think ur using sneak attack wrong

Adam technically saved ur dog

Asyna

Rolls nat20 to hit

Rolls

Kills the guy

"I mean, shillelagh"

Howls in pain, slumps over on the ground

It's the bald one the guy u stabbed

Adam

Casts vicious mockery

Threatens baldness

2 damage

Theo

2, no hit

Groot

Doesn't hit

Other guy

Trying to hit theo

Hits

3 damage

Aerana

Shortsword

6 damage

Asyna

8 to hit

12 hits

7 damage

Siiiiiis imagine killing both of them wait is he dead

Oop he's not dead yet tho

Adam

Vicious mockery

Lives

Theo

16 to hit

ROLLS A ONE

LILLIAN

Four damage

BRUH

Groot misses

Other guy

Drops his weapon

Adam walks into the room

"hey buddy . What's goin on ?"

Persuasion check at disadvantage

10

Might as well kill

You kill, groot pushes adam so adam doesn't see