I calculated my days of absence from the UK and if I were to submit my citizenship application next may I would exceed the limit due to having fucked off to Italy for 5 months during the covid lockdowns in 2020. which means I could apply in january 2026, provided I only spend 12 weeks out of the UK between now and then. which sounds like a lot but it isn't to me because I work from home and spending a few weeks with my family every now and then has been the only thing keeping me sane
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I gotta be honest, T***** S**** signing on to rehab the fucking NFL via one of the notoriously unrepentantly racist teams in the league, at a time when pushback had finally, FINALLY, gotten THIS CLOSE to actually forcing teams to maybe change their names and reconsider the horrifically racist merch and imagery is actually fucking it for me
like I am aware that people are sort of dead to these kinds of symbols due to overexposure but let me put it like this, imagine a colonizer team playing at the amusement park they've built on the site of a bombed out Palestinian hospital and their mascot is a caricature of a murdered Palestinian child. That's literally what this is. Fuck the Chiefs and sorry but: fuck your fave too. She is dancing on the site of a genocide while being silent about the one currently happening across the world, how is that better than any other billionaire this site wants to draw and quarter? Better PR?
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sometimes i forget tumblr isnt a functioning website until i try to reblog a gifset and it consistently just starts lagging my phone until the app crashes anytime i open the gifset in the editor... tumblr what kind of fucking HELLSCAPE memory leak shoddy compression and gif delivery logic do you have going on. what is HAPPENING Back there.
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finally getting paid by centrelink on halloween..... so as a late birthday gift, I bought myself bullshit jobs by david graeber like I've been meaning to for months..... or really the last year.... to quell the utter bitterness and numbness i felt all through my cadetship last year; and also during my job searching since late march this year.
like is my job or having a job actually worth anything???? am I ever gonna find anything I'm truly passionate about and interested in, to make into a career at all??? is every single fucking job that I apply for a fucking useless soul-sucking role with no real purpose??? why did the putdown in that cadetship job that "you're just back office admin staff, aren't you???? you're useless. where is my housing worker and what use are you telling me that I can't reach them????" hurt so fucking much as if I just wasn't supposed to be there???? (besides the point that that was how my boss basically and the rest of the team really treated me anyway.... which fucking sucked).... just I fucking hate working. and this book is good so far.
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I’m fucking venting here bc I’m angry and don’t have anyone to talk to and I’m not sure if this is political correct or right or whatever but I’m fucking pissed - I’m a public school teacher who works in the inner city and this year alone there have been two shootings in my neighborhood involving students not dying school hours- and one student who went missing due to gang ties (they were found ALIVE a DAYS later) -
I’m fucking TIRED I’m FREAKED OUT and I’m ANGRY because I have to go into work tomorrow and I have to have that conversation with the kids during our SEL block because they will have questions and bc they are in middle school some will not know how to process it and will joke while others will be genuinely upset
and I feel nauseous thinking about the fact that my mother and four of my closest friends are all going through the same fucking shit as teachers at different schools right now- and my roommate who is trans- and unrelated to his identity is also kinda an asshole- has been shitting on me all night about how I’m not I’m danger like he is and how I don’t know his pain (and while I’m not making excuses I’m an openly gay teacher who works directly with the lgbt students and activly educated my kids on trans rights AND I work for a nonprofit organization that directly works to protect trans and queer rights and JUST LAST WEEK put out a video for our organization on antitrans laws - I’m not saying I fucking get what it’s like to be trans but Jesus fuck I’m fighting the fight for trans youth more than you are working at Whole Foods) why the FUCK are you quantifying suffering, why the FUCK are you lashing out at ME of all people, and why the fuck are you telling a public school teacher in inner city Boston that I have no idea what it’s like to be afraid- motherfucker I’m angry I’m sorry but why the fuck are you monopolizing suffering why do you think you have the right to talk to me this fucking way. I get you are scared but you work in Whole Foods in Massachusetts- the bluest state there is- )
there is no fucking cap on grief- sorry I’m upset at this as well but you saying it doesn’t directly effect me is just so fucking ignorant and suffering shouldn’t be quantifiable mf we are on the same fucking side why are you infighting right now (and I know this isn’t relevant and this is entirely unrelated to him being trans but god he is so fucking sexist- saying shit like I have no idea what it’s like to have my bodily autonomy at risk as if roe v wade didn’t get overturned THIS year???) sometimes it pisses me off like fucking sorry I’m being over emotional and overreacting to a school shooting as a fucking public school teacher GOD I should be allowed to be angry too in my own goddamn apartment-
you don’t get to sit on your high horse and say you suffer more than me and that I’m not allowed to be afraid ok I’m done I’m gonna go in tomorrow and make sure to hug my one openly trans kid extra hard bc I know they are suffering just like I know my roomate is suffering and needs a place to express his anger- I get I’m an easy target bc I’m a safe person to lash out at and I’m not telling anyone how to grieve and I know a lot of this is just knee jerk reaction to violence and anger- I just wish he wasn’t expressing it at the one fucking person who doesn’t deserve it, like fuck, the one thing people always say about public school teachers is that we have it TOO easy, especially the night after a school shooting
*Also fuck terfs and fuck anyone who is using a tragedy as an excuse to hate trans people*
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