#lmk if you have any thoughts

[jaynuu]

thought I should mention here that I'm generally more active over on instagram 🫡 been posting daily traditional sketches over there, mostly consisting of FrUK/UKFr, hws-philippines, occasionally SEA/EA-talia and whatever and whoever is on my mind, come check it out if you're interested :^)

[ochiody]

theyre literally already married

[retquits]

i give him new piercings every time i draw him

[clipartdinosaur]

Griddlehark Fics

I have read an absolutely insane amount of Griddlehark fanfics in the past few months so I figured I could make a like...list of all of my favorites that I bookmarked. I'm not sure if anyone will use this but if anything it will be for my own self-indulgence LOL. Just a heads up, this list WILL contain spoilers up to Nona the Ninth, so proceed with your own discretion. Anyway here we go!

(♥︎ = favorite!)

Short (<15k):

"By the Sword" by JeanLuciferGohard (2.6k)

The Reverend Daughter of the Ninth, Necrosaint, Ascended, the greatest bone adept in an Age, does one push-up, and collapses. Harrow does not beg for her cavalier. Harrow rakes her hair back and snarls, “Nav, I am going to unzip your cranial sutures. One by one. And zip them up again sideways.”

"Your Necro Questions Answered" by Magichorse (8.8k)

Syndicated columnist "Nav the Cav" offers a sympathetic ear to cavaliers across the galaxy and dispenses practical, no-nonsense, real talk advice on how to properly manage and care for your necromancer.

"A Lesson in Bones" by Magichorse (3.8k)

One of the laboratory trials at Canaan House compels Harrowhark to swap bodies with her cavalier. What will Gideon do with the power of the most talented bone adept in generations at her disposal? Nothing good, probably.

"Visions of Gideon" by tothewillofthepeople (13k)

Oh my god they were roommates...

"true love's kiss, or something equally nauseating" by corpsesoldier (4.6k)

She was where she needed to be. She was going to pull her necro out of this godforsaken tomb, end the game of musical bodies they were playing, and then everything would be all right. Harrow would be alive. And Gideon was going to give her shit for approximately the next myriad for not just taking what she’d offered and saving them a whole lot of trouble.

"The Big Warm Dark" by decalexas (haelstorm) (2.7k)

Gideon Nav knows how to swing a longsword, brandish a rapier, bridge the gap between life and death, punch the dead in the face, and maybe overthrow an Empire along the way. What she doesn't know how to do is reach for the girl who made all of this possible.

"carrion comfort, despair (not feast on thee)" by NotAFicWriter (5k)

Some time after Alecto wakes, Harrow and Gideon finally have a moment to speak to one another. Hearts are bared. Teeth are bared. Intentions are bared. It all comes at great personal cost (emotional honesty).

"never exhale all the way" by pigflight (1.2k)

Harrowhark paints Gideon's face.

"such an almighty sound" by CountingNothings (10k)♥︎

“I need you to marry me,” Harrow says, a propos of absolutely nothing that Gideon can see. And, uh, okay, this is not what childhood best frenemies say to each other upon discovering that both of their graduate programs have weird residence requirements. “What,” Gideon asks, “the fuck?”

"A Handsomely Dangerous Thing" by zoicite (1.5k)

Had Harrow ever looked at Gideon and felt pride before? Surely not. It sat like a tumor in her chest, a cancerous lump that had grown where it did not belong.

"How it didn't happen" by Nary (1.5k)

"How did you lose it?" Coronabeth asked, more softly than her sister's shrill voice. The group assembled at Canaan House barely knew her, and yet here they were, asking the most irritatingly personal questions, and acting as if they were being kind and thoughtful by prying into her secrets. "I dropped my pen into a vat of acid and reached in to grab it without thinking," Harrow said dryly. Coronabeth recoiled, screwing up her pretty nose. Ianthe looked unsure whether to believe her or not. Their meatslab of cavalier just stared blankly. "The Daughter of the Ninth House was blessed in this manner from her birth, as a symbol of her strength and power over the mysteries of necromancy," Ortus interjected. Harrow glared at him. "Oh," Coronabeth said, an expression of disgusting sympathy on her flawless face. "But then you would never have known who your soulmate was!" Harrow's glare intensified. "My soulmate is bones."

"Halcyon Nights" by Morike91 (10k)

It was hard to tell what was worse: feeling the full warmth of those unguarded honey eyes fall on Harrow, or watching them narrow in recognition and contempt, their warmth now hotter with something else.  “What can I get you?” It has been at least four years since Harrow last heard the voice of Gideon Nav, but it was still as familiar as her right hand. 

"I completely fucking hate you" by ClaraZorEl (7.5k)

In the coming weeks, Harrowhark learns an unfortunate great deal about Gideon Nav. The kind of porn she likes, the number of bread rolls she can fit into her mouth at once, that she always leans too heavily on her left leg when she fights but can do fifty-seven push-ups in a row without stopping, that her biceps rates 11/10 on the scale of good biceps, that her laugh rumbles like an army of skeletons, and most importantly, that she can’t fucking stand her. Gideon Nav is so grating that Harrow has no doubt she will be her undoing. OR Harrowhark Nonagesimus has been invited to Canaan University's ball. But to successfully represent her house, she needs a cavalier, and unfortunately, her only option is her least favourite barista from her least favourite coffee shop.

"A Thousand Teeth, Yours Among Them" by pipistrelle (7k)

"In the end, she poisoned Ortus; so it was Harrow Nova who walked out to the shuttle a half-step behind the Daughter of the Ninth, the chain of Samael Novenary wound about her offhand wrist, the black blade of the Ninth at her side."

"The Only Prayer We Know" by pipistrelle (12k) [Part 2 of "A Thousand Teeth, Yours Among Them"]

It's like a bad joke: two cavaliers (alive) and two necromancers (one dead) walk into a rebel faction of humanity, looking for a new life -- in every sense of the phrase. What they find is each other, and (in some cases) themselves.

"The Flames of Hell Are Warm" by silverapples (7k)

In which Harrow is a repressed evangelical Christian and Gideon performs burlesque in a lesbian nightclub. Feat. nipple pasties, chewing gum, and a steaming mug of gay coffee (wake up and smell it, Harrow).

"Necro Business" by rnanqo (1.6k) ♥︎

“Gideon,” you said carefully, “I will need to examine your mouth. Various structures, primarily the jaw, but also the lingual muscles—the tongue—” You stopped there. Your cheeks were going red, probably with indignity. “Yeah,” I said, a bit too loudly, “yeah, sure. Do it.”

"Holy Cross, Alaska" by softieghost (10k) ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎

Harrow meets Gideon. They go through it together.

"my love will be your armor" by TheKnightsWhoSayBook (2.3k)

"The princess has a right to bestow her favor on whoever she wishes to win a match," Gideon tells her. "Are you going to?" "Why would I? I don't want to marry him," Harrow answers bitterly. "Do you want me to win?" Princess Harrow will be engaged to the winner of the tournament, and her only champion is her useless bodyguard Sir Gideon Nav, who isn't going to save her. Unless...?

"The Meaning Of The Word" by pipistrelle (8.4k)

Harrow, along with a good percentage of Canaan University's necromancy students, has the flu. Gideon has a lot of feelings that she is in no way equipped to handle. It's a tough week.

"(i shine only with the light you gave me)" by sashawire (1.7k) ♥︎

God prods, gently, “Even just starting with their physical description, and we can go from there.” “Imagine,” you say, from somewhere outside your body, “the worst shade of orange you’ve ever seen in your life.” * Harrowhark receives her saintly title.

"i will learn to love the shears" by corpsesoldier (4.7k)

The avulsion trial left Harrow's hair in a sorry state and Gideon offers up her expertise with a blade. Or, Gideon gives Harrow a haircut.

"The Titty Texts: A Work of a Stupendous Titty Nature" by EleniaTrexer (3k)

Gideon accidentally sends Harrow boobs. And then just keeps on sending them.

"can we start over?" by breeeliss (10k)

Gideon needs a tutor. Harrow needs someone to get her out of college gym class. All in all, a pretty straightforward arrangement to make with your ex.

"Dark Mode Enabled" by senseoftheday (12k)

Tech Company AU in which a certain Sales bro with no filter decides to ruin Harrow's life (and feature roadmap) by initiating the cross-functional project from hell. At least, Gideon has the decency to work remotely, and Harrow's new office crush makes some pretty great coffee.

"deconsecrated graves" by emotionsandphenomena (4k)

Gideon and Harrow got out of the cult they were raised in. Okay, what's next?

"settle up in heaven" by liesmyth (3k) ♥︎

“Isn’t this arrogance, Harrow?” Kiriona says. “Think you could fix what God couldn’t?”

"Quoth the Maiden" by Sarsaparilla (10.9k)

The bold outlaws Nova Hawk and Gideon meet for the first time on a narrow log-bridge. But is it really their first meeting? Or: what if Robin Hood and Little John were both lesbians?

"twice in a blue moon" by sinshine (8.7k) ♥︎

Gideon snapped out of her depressing reverie and blinked at her. "That's a really good idea." "Obviously," said Harrow, and it was only a little bit condescending. "Step one, sneak out of the party. Step two, acquire the necessary items at a store. Step three–" Harrow gestured vaguely at the deer in Gideon's hands– "And step four, profit." [G&H rush to fix a smashed snow globe that Dulcinea made so that Cam doesn't kill them before the clock strikes midnight at their NYE party. The fact that Gideon is back in her hometown after a long time away and she and Harrow have unresolved romantic tension is secondary and definitely won't be a problem.]

"It Came From Planet Slut" by LockedTombMemes (8k)

Well. Evidently going undercover to an Idan society fling in order to deliver a message to a high-profile BoE agent was a tits-out kind of look.

"Apostate's Yuletide" by sinshine (12.6k)♥︎

Gideon raised one eyebrow comically high. She smiled easily, erasing any hint of the anxiety that Harrow might have sensed. "What's with all the questions today?" Harrow huffed indignantly and fidgeted with the blanket draped across her lap, worrying the frayed hem with her fingers. "I thought your ego would appreciate the interest." "Yeah, but it's weird coming from you. I'm used to you monologuing, not playing twenty questions." "Perhaps it's a Christmas miracle," suggested Harrow, with an expression so absolutely devoid of joy that Gideon couldn't help but laugh. [Harrow and Gideon burn down a church on Xmas.]

"when it's over" by Adertily (2.5k)

Harrowhark had sworn to herself to live to see the girl in the locked tomb awaken. Alecto has risen. Now God is dead, along with everyone who had ever been dear to her - and Gideon has returned as a distorted creature. The war is over. Harrow wishes she could be too. Or: A character study based on Harrow's suicidal ideation and Gideon's determination to never run anywhere unless she absolutely has to.

"Supernova Bloom!" by sinshine (13k)

"It's just for a week, and then you never have to see me again," said Gideon. "I don't have time to find anyone else." And, "Please." Slowly, Harrow took her hand off the door and cautiously turned around. Gideon watched a dozen unspoken questions flicker across her face. She voiced none of them, but eventually settled on an expression of grim resignation. "I suppose I could suffer you for a week." [Gideon needs help getting her new flower shop ready for the grand opening. Harrow needs cash.]

"I still need your teeth around my organs" by sinshine (7.8k)

Although she was a beloved Daughter and a talented necromancer, Gideon's greatest vice was that she dearly loved to fuck around and find out. Knowing this, perhaps it shouldn't have been as shocking when she lifted one of Nova's hands, flipped it over, and kissed her palm. [4 times Gideon kisses Harrow, 1 time Harrow kisses Gideon]

"cuckoo, cuckoo" by sashawire (1.2k)

What Wake gives it is not a name. To do so would be a moronic, unnecessary cruelty. But she does deign to give it the microscopic dignity of a title, a goal, a purpose. Bomb. Eighteen years later, in the rubble of a once-sacred home, Harrowhark Nonagesimus reaches up and touches Gideon Nav’s grit-covered, blood-rimed face, splits a laugh like the world is ending, and calls her “flower.” * Six times God's unwanted daughter was nicknamed, and once she wasn't.

"my teeth will only cut your lips, my dear" by sashawire (<1k) ♥︎

Gideon chomps into her tongue as hard as she can convince herself, stifling a very dignified squawk. Her eyes water, Emperor’s left tit that fucking hurts, but—it works. Blood weeps from the bite marks, creeping down the back of her throat, up into her nasal cavity, staining her teeth. Okay. She has blood in her mouth. Blood that, somehow, needs to get into Harrow’s mouth. * Step #6: Consume the flesh.

"fifteen percent concentrated power of will" by surreptitiously (9k)

Teaching someone to do a push-up is a love language, when that person is very annoying.

"GHAZAL WHERE I'M BEGGING YOU TO TOUCH ME" by igneousbitch (12k)

You had your body and I had mine, and it was a miracle. Your hands against my face were a miracle. The rest of your meat attached to your hands was a prayer answered and a promise broken, but we were flush and gasping and alive, and Harrow—I really thought you might’ve kissed me then. But I felt it happen. The way your breath suddenly stilled, and your body locked up beneath mine, remembering. How with splintering gentleness, you pushed me away. “I’m so sorry,” was the second thing you said upon waking. The first thing had been my name. Stranded in a safehouse on an Edenite moon, Gideon and Harrow try to put themselves back together.

"catch you on the flip side, sugar lips" by corpsesoldier (4.9k)

Maybe if Harrow's brain runs enough scenarios, she'll find a way to keep what she's lost.

"hand to heart, I swear" by corpsesoldier (5k)

Gideon has a broken heart, and there's only one necromancer who can fix it.

Medium (15-30k)

"If you're doing it right you'll break their ribs" by almostnectarine (22.4k)

"How do you know Nonagesimus has gone somewhere dangerous?" asked Isaac. "Have you wired some kind of alert system?" "It's, uh. It's on the schedule," said Gideon. "I just... forgot. Because of the bread." Nobody was convinced by this, least of all Gideon. "It's a Ninth House thing," Gideon went on, backing away with increasing desperation. This was a slightly more plausible explanation, if only because nobody wanted to look too closely at what fell under the awful skeletal-ribbed and rotting umbrella of Ninth House things. "Gotta go—!" And she was out the door, gone. But it wasn't a Ninth House thing, except inasmuch as it was happening to the only two representatives of the noble and decrepit Ninth House on this quite literally godforsaken rock. Gideon knew Harrow had gone somewhere dangerous—knew that Harrow was back in the lab where they had only just completed a horrible trial—because she could see it, clear as day: an awful overlay on her vision of that terrible dangerous room and a pair of terrible dangerous hands drawing some kind of ward next to the plinth. The hands were definitely Harrow's. This was definitely a problem.

"If Home Is Where the Heart Is (Then We're All Just Fucked)" by JeanLuciferGohard (17k) ♥︎

When Gideon Nav gets a call that her ex-girlfriend, who never bothered to change her designated emergency contact, is in the hospital, she goes against her better judgement and responds. Everything after that just gets more complicated.

"blue gray green lavender" by smolranger (29k) ♥︎

Laser Radial sailor Gideon Nav just wants pass her classes, win a few regattas, and keep her head down. FJ sailor Harrowhark Nonagesimus has grand plans to qualify for the Olympics, preserve her parent's legacy, and save her home town. Despite the ties binding them together, the two have kept their college lives carefully separate for two years. But when Harrow's helm, Ortus, suffers a concussion mid-way through the fall season, their carefully separated lives collide. Harrow needs someone capable of taking Ortus' place for the remainder of the season or her Olympic dreams — and Canaan College's entire sail team — are in peril. And Gideon is her only option.

"Daughters of Hungry Ghosts" by zoicite (24k)

Harrow and Gideon and times they have (and also have not) shared a bed over the years.

"Disney World, Florida" by softieghost (24.6k) [Part 2 of "Holy Cross, Alaska"]

After the events of Alaska, Harrow thanks Gideon the only way she knows how: devotion. -- Chapter 3: The journey concludes. More confessions.

"we've got a good thing goin' " by sinshine (14.6k) ♥︎

“Not to sound ungrateful, but being here makes me wish that you had left me for dead,” said Harrow. Gideon had been staring hard at the face of the fountain’s statue. She was pretty sure that it was carved in the likeness of Naberius himself, but she didn’t want to say it out loud and make it true. She shook her head and turned to Harrow. “Leaving me to live out eternity in your bony sock puppet of a body? Hard pass.” Palamedes and Camilla shared a look. It was the mutual understanding of two people who had been trapped in close quarters with the bickering of Gideon Nav and Harrowhark Nonagesimus for far too long. [Team 69 hide out in Babs's vacation home. Because it's not like he's using it anyway.]

"Cake by the Ocean" by zoicite (15k)♥︎

Okay, so the thing was, Gideon had always been shit at plans. She knew that. Everyone knew that, but this--she really didn’t think it would be this hard! Gideon’s voice was like the least memorable thing about her. Bargaining her voice for a well-shaped set of human legs--that really should have worked in her favor.

"careful fear and (un)dead devotion" by sinshine (23k)

[Gideon and Harrow wake up back in their own bodies but both of them are missing large parts of their memory. Camilla tries not to kill everyone.]

"who ya gonna call?" by igneousbitch (24k)

“Fret not, honeybun.” Gideon shook her red hair out of her eyes, belligerent. “I’m not totally sold on your whole skepticism thing.” “Well,” Harrow said, ignoring the nickname. She turned to the rest of the room, clearing her throat politely before addressing the empty air. “Ghosts, if you’re real, give us a sign. Make a noise. Move something. Send a shiver down our backs. Whisper softly into Nav’s left ear—” “I seriously fucking hate you.” - (Casual sex and paranormal investigation. Not necessarily in that order.) (or: the Buzzfeed Unsolved AU in which Gideon is ready to fight a ghost, and Harrow just wants to be haunted.)

Long(>30k):

"Beneath a Blue and Foreign Sky" by zoicite (35k)

Harrow has a decision to make.

"A Heart Full Of Sutures" by Rohad (40k)

All Gideon wanted was to get outside and ride her motorcycle. No part of that plan had included eight weeks in Canaan Medical Center with a broken Pelvis and the meanest little doctor this side of the eastern seabord.

"Midnight at the Mithraeum" by zoicite (66k) ♥︎

It'd been two years since Gideon Nav gathered her wine key and her gaming license and escaped The Locked Tomb, a speakeasy-style cocktail bar managed by the hateful Harrowhark Nonagesimus. Now, dealing tables at The Mithraeum Hotel & Casino, things were really looking up. So when Gideon scored a date with the most beautiful showgirl in the Gilded Halls of Ida, the last thing she expected was to wake up married to her old nemesis and former coworker. The story starts the night of Gideon's date and alternates between the events leading up to the wedding and the weeks that follow as Gideon tries to navigate life married to someone who claims to want nothing more than to forget she exists.

"Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea" by pipistrelle (90k)

Being the journal of Reverend Daughter Harrowhark Nonagesimus, chronicling the journey of the Emperor's warship Cenotaph on its hunt to slay an immortal Resurrection Beast. Or: the Moby Dick crossover AU that nobody asked for.

"The Darkest Night, The Brightest Light" by eternaleponine (50k)

Harrowhark has known for a long time that her home's financial situation is dire, and not getting better. She has plans to fix it all, but can't implement them until she turns eighteen in a few months. When her parents announce that the best (perhaps only) way to save Drearburh is to marry off its heir, Harrow realizes the timeline has changed and she needs to take action now to save her home... and herself. Desperate times call for desperate measures, after all. Enter Gideon Nav. Detested foe, and Harrow's only hope.

"putting your fist through a thick sheet of glass (i know you don't want to)" by oretsev (46k)

Harrowhark Nonagesimus and Gideon Nav have always been at each other’s throats, and the animosity has only intensified since the death of Harrow’s parents. But when a car accident leaves Gideon without any memories of her past, Harrow sees a chance at the clean slate she’s wanted for years. Becoming involved in Gideon’s recovery assuages some of the guilt, but as she and Gideon become closer and increasingly involved in each other's lives, Harrow worries that some of her secrets may be more than she can atone for.

Ongoing:

"semi-charmed kinda life" by strangedelight (182k+) ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎

Gideon asked questions. Harrow surprised her with answers. They reached an agreement; they decided to be smart, to be patient. Gideon made a promise, Harrow gave her one in return. Wait and see. OR the year is 1994, and Gideon and Harrow leave their small town for life in the city. OR team 69 roommates au only this time it's the 90s

"Intern the Sixth" by apocalypticTaco (33k+)

ADDRESSING THE HEIR TO THE NINTH HOUSE, OR PRESUMED EQUIVALENT: PALAMEDES SEXTUS, HEIR TO THE SIXTH HOUSE, PRESENTS HIS COMPLIMENTS TO THE NINTH AND REQUESTS A FORMAL ARRANGEMENT WHEREIN HIS MASTER WARDEN AND CAVALIER APPRENTICESHIP UNDER THE NINTH FOR FOUR YEARS IN EXCHANGE FOR THE SIXTH’S SERVICES. *Details to be discussed. Please turn to back page. Timeframe variable. Services and agreements variable upon the Ninth's request. An internship of this caliber is highly unprecedented and likely unheard of, but any information valuable to the Ninth and into the Tomb will remain undisclosed upon request; Primary experience and study is required as the Master Warden has already decided upon such being his final thesis prior to his end studies. No takebacks, no denials. Pleased to meet you. Palamedes Sextus, Heir to the Sixth and Master Warden and Camilla the Sixth, Cavalier Primary and Warden's Hand of the Library

TO THE MASTER WARDEN: FORMALLY REJECTED.

"What's Eating Gideon Nav?" by labyrinthineRetribution (40k+)

After a miserable fifteen years at Blessed Saint Anastasia's School for Girls, Gideon's luck finally changes.

"We Have Always Lived in the Apartment" by labyrinthineRetribution (171k+)

John looks up from his Jack and Coke in drunken curiosity. "What's with the face, Harrowhark?" he asks, genuinely concerned. "Contrary to popular belief," Gideon butts in, "her face just fuckin' looks like that, bitch." She tends to use "bitch" as liberally as commas when off her ass. "You're piss drunk," you shoot back. "And you, my good bitch, are just as contemptible as the day you clawed your way up from Hell." - It is Harrowhark Nonagesimus' birthday, and it only gets worse from there.

PWP (basically):

"I'll hold in these hands all that remains" by corvidlesbian (6.5k) ♥︎

“Do you want me to try?” Gideon said. “What?” “You got all hot and bothered without me trying. Do you want me to try?” Their newfound habit of cuddling gets interesting.

"sting of a wasp" by brightbolt, imperfectlyctor (42k) ♥︎

"You’re a virgin,” Gideon said, testing it out. "Huh." Harrow didn’t like the sound of that huh. She knew Gideon’s noises, and that was a thoughtful, sinister huh. That was the same huh she’d made before putting canned tuna in Crux’s work boots. Her eyes narrowed. “What.” Gideon cocked her head to the side. “Is there a reason you’re waiting?” There was no judgement in the question— only genuine curiosity. Perhaps it was this that made Harrow more inclined to answer. “I don’t have the time to look for someone new,” She shrugged. “And my available pool is… somewhat limited.” “Well,” Gideon said, with just a hint of conspiracy in those glittering golden eyes. “If you ever want to change that, you have my number.” What? What? Harrow blinked. “What?” Or: the five times Gideon and Harrow successfully bone, and the one time they don't.

"Suckle, Honey" by zoicite (7.9k)

“You crave my juice,” Gideon accused. “I do not crave your juice.” “Fuck, you do though. You went off to explore that study alone, without your cavalier, using a key that I nearly gave my life for, and then you snorted some powder that made you crave my juice! Harrow. I never would have let you sniff powder from a ten thousand year old jar.” This was untrue--Gideon probably wouldn’t have noticed Harrow breathing in a puff of jar powder until it was too late--but it sounded like something Camilla Hect might say, so Gideon went with it anyway. Camilla definitely would have stopped Palamedes from accidentally sniffing old as fuck Eighth House jarred juice addiction powder.

"Five Times We Hatefucked and One Time We Didn't" by rnanqo (8k)

“Fuck you,” you said. “Fuck me yourself, you coward.” You ran a hand through my hair, fisted it, and pulled my head up. From here I had a spectacular view of your weird blown-out seething expression, like I was the worst thing you’d ever seen. Also a view up your blood-crusted nostrils. Choice. “Maybe I will, Griddle,” you said. “Maybe I will stop fucking you over and start fucking you." Gideon and Harrow realize, abruptly, that their hatefucking is no longer hatefucking.

"a call to motion" by groundedsaucer (coasterchild) (10k) ♥︎

Harrow and Gideon watch a porno.

"put her canine teeth in the side of my neck" by stranded_star (8.8k)

Harrowhark Nonagesimus is getting a PhD and a divorce. Against her better judgment, she goes out to the bar to celebrate and meets an incorrigible, absolutely ripped salt-and-paprika butch who takes her home and gives it to her good. To her horror, it's the best night of her life, and she sneaks home with her tail between her legs. Harrow has more important things to worry about - like raising her daughter and building the next stages of her career. But when her daughter's favorite teacher, someone named Griddle, turns about to be the Gideon she met at the bar, she's forced to contend with allowing herself (and her daughter) to find the happy ending she never thought they'd have. Featuring MILF!Harrow, Teacher!Gideon, and a very amused Camilla Hect.

"The Wound That Swallows" by seelieunseelie (7.8k)

Harrow can make out an uncomfortable amount of detail about Gideon’s body beneath. Powerful, strong as ever, yet somehow vulnerable for its supplication below Harrow’s. “Are we gonna get this over with?” Gideon says in a voice softly scratchy. She blushes then when Harrow sits on the edge of the bed. “It will hurt,” Harrow says. “Yeah,” Gideon says. “I think I can handle it.”

[puppyeared]

personal character design headcanons + brainrot

Note: the re-bound!au does NOT belong to me, it belongs to @chipper-smol I’m just not normal about it lol

[toxintouch]

crazy idea… what ab ais and vere with someone whos kinda obsessed with monsters?? like they study them for a living. idk where you would go with this but i just thought it would be interesting!!

it was indeed very interesting, anon, tysm for sharing!! ["You" pronouns used! to make it easier for me to use the plural "they"]

MONSTER 101:

✦ They both start out assuming that your interest is more suggestive in nature. That your insistence on "studying” Monsters is a smoke screen for your true desire to "consort" with them.  So they are both waiting for you to ask something–shall we say?–uncouth.  In fact, they have a little bet going…  

Realizing that you are just legitimately interested…

They are both intrigued, though it comes in different flavors.

✦ For Vere, it is somewhat begrudging.  He appreciates your ability to look past rules and accepted conventions.  (There’s Monsters aplenty in Eridia but few humans are trying to understand Monsters, and of those near none are willing to be open about it due to fears of social ostracization.  And even then, there’s usually some other motive at play…)  Vere's unhappy to find he has a slightly high opinion of you.  He really didn't mean to.

��� He hates that a lot of his seduction techniques and attempts to catch you off guard or otherwise make you react are ineffective because you will just intellectualize them.

✦ Any time Vere mentions you studying monsters he says the word heavy with implication. “Studying.  Is that what they're calling it, nowadays?" Including after he’s realized it isn’t like that; he’ll still imply it whenever he gets the chance.

✦ (The bet is still on, by the way.  The fact that they’ll have to lead you into asking something questionable to win is just added spice.)

✦ And Vere is impatient to win.  Plus, he’s curious to see what makes you tick.  What button does he have to press…?

✦ He starts offering increasingly more and more inappropriate things.  (In the vein of tail tugging, etc.)  All to toy with you further your academic achievements, of course.

✦ Until he finally asks if you'd like to see him hunt.  

✦ And that sends a thrill of a shiver down your spine–you can’t sort out if it’s due to fear or excitement.

✦ He sees your reaction and oh, isn’t that just delicious?

✦ Your instincts react before you fully understand why, gooseflesh covering your skin, the prickly feeling of your muscles flexing minutely making your hair follicles rise.  You’re confused for a moment, your mind trying to make sense of the sudden surge of adrenaline–you’ve been so focused on Vere’s silky words that you didn’t even realize he’s gotten so close, that he’s starting to circle you, his eyes focused, pupils contracted.

He hums, inspecting you, turning your face this way and that, his neat claws skimming against you making you quiver.  This close, you can see his pupils expand slightly, the way his jaw trembles just the slightest amount after he takes in a luxurious whiff of your scent.

Like he’s hungry,

   like he’s starving

“Perhaps someone should study you for a change.”

✦  You’re breathless.  Your mind scrambles for a moment before picking back up.  What was that feeling, just now? You’ve read about this before, but–to experience it first hand–(and live)!  You gush at Vere about how the experience was both everything and nothing like your studies have described.

✦  Of course, hearing Vere’s age is amazing to you–he’s such a unique source of information, he’s seen so much, he’s so old!  But then, getting that information out of him is difficult on the best of days.  And the information you do receive is difficult to sort through.  Vere’s not exactly the most reliable narrator; you spend a lot of time trying to figure out what’s true and what’s an embellishment or elaborate joke.

✦ The idea that this is a job for you means that somebody must be paying you for this information. "You do plan on sharing the wealth, don't you? Dangerous things happen to those who don't keep their sources well fed."

✦ Ais admires your willingness to explore information, think things through for yourself and form your own opinions.  After dealing with Mhin hating him for “no reason”, it’s a breath of fresh air.

✦  Ais’ personality tends to be a lot more straightforward…  

✦  But when the information you’re curious about isn’t something he wants to disclose, he’s not above being unbearably vague.

✦  You ask Ais’ age, since Vere was willing to disclose his (kind of–you know he’s been around since Eridia was "a miserable little smear") but Ais keeps leading you in circles. 

✦  “Cumulatively?  Might take me a while to count that high.  Lot of group inside this mind.”

✦  He’s not above teasing you either.  “More questions?  If you’re not careful, I’ll start to overthink your interest.”

✦  He does wonder what you're hoping to achieve with this knowledge. What's your goal? Do you even know? "Be careful with that curiosity of yours. Some might find it...impolite."

✦  He realizes that he tells you to be careful... a lot. And he tells himself that he's not responsible for your safety, but...

✦  Will challenge you to earn your answers from him. He's not interested in money, but he can't just be handing things out for free to you all of the time. So: "What's it worth to you?" Is there anything you think you can beat him at? Or maybe you know something he'd trade for. A new language? A secret?

✦  If there's any kind of mutual attraction…  He’s actually kind of frustrated when/if none of your questions appear like they are going to turn in that direction.  He’s not looking for a commitment, but he hates the feeling of ambiguity between you two.  Makes him restless. If you give him any type of indication, though, or if your questions ever do stray away from the academic, he’s asking you if you wanna literally fuck around and find out.  He hates a will-they-won’t-they, he finds it tedious and annoying.  Unless…it comes with a competitive edge.  If it’s a war of attrition, a challenge of 'who will break first'…? That’s a game he’ll consider playing.  For the right reward. Hope you’re willing to deal with the consequences, though.

✦  He thinks it’s funny how you have so many questions.  Avoiding answering them is even more amusing, though. 

✦  Is he nocturnal?  ("Who said I sleep?") What are the interpersonal dynamics like between Monsters? Can he confirm the existence of nonverbal communication cues (scent, atmospheric changes, etc.)?  (“Yes.”) Will he tell you what they are? (“No.”)

✦  He avoids having you at the Sea Spring, though he never outright tells you that you aren't allowed there. And he's not very forthcoming about the topic. He's openly disinterested, in fact. If you don't take the hint, he'll tell you he's told you everything there is to say. Take the hint, alright?

✦  Your curiosity about Monsters extends to his Soulless too, doesn't it?  If it didn’t, it’s about to.

✦ He takes you out in the wastes one day so that you can meet Princess and the others. Just on the outskirts, where no one will bother the two of you. He has to show Princess off. "I wanna show you her tricks."

✦ Petting Princess is...interesting. It's amazing to be able to get this close to a live Soulless without fearing for your life. The texture of her is unlike any other creature. She's sleek, leathery. Your brain fights the proximity at first. It's hard to divorce yourself from the idea of danger but you push past it to pet her. (You hear Ais make a little hum at that - surprise, approval. You can't tear your eyes away from the Soulless in front of you long enough to check his expression. There's the ghost of a smile on his face when you finally manage.)

✦  And the fact that she purrs... He hears you talking to yourself about how that's absolutely fascinating, the implications, do the Soulless communicate (unprecedented information!) or is this something specific to the Sea Spring? Wait, even if it is Sea Spring specific, why does she have the anatomy to make a purring vocalization? It's not like the Sea Spring changed her physically...? Although... maybe it did...?

✦  Ais can admit that your scholarly tangents are endearing. You could have chosen a safer interest/profession, though. One less likely to get you into trouble. But you've survived this far. Maybe he should give you more credit.

✦  Needless to say: being around them both at the same time...they're more than just a handful. (Don't say that to Vere. The handjob joke makes itself.) They are terrifying as a team, constantly bouncing off each other trying to mess with you.

✦  And about that bet...they suppose they could share the win. If that's what it takes.

[myokk]

before it felt like a sin, ch. 1

pairing: Sebastian Sallow x f!MC

word count: 3000

summary: Eloise never wanted to be different.

And yet, her differences are what have defined her life up until this point: growing up as a squib in one of the most prominent wizarding families, being exiled to muggle society, and then attending Hogwarts at the age of sixteen.

She finds herself thrust into the life she should have been prepared for from birth but was denied. As she navigates this new life and her new precarious position in her family, she must come to terms with the fact that maybe what she dreamed of her whole life isn't turning out how she ever expected it would.

a/n: Hi everyone!! I decided to post this here too...I'm slowly going through everything I've written so far, and I want to post each chapter here as I edit them. I'm hoping that this can be a way to a) get back in to writing more, and b) get better at my art as I make full illustrations for each chapter. Let me know what you think!! :)

There is nothing quite as horrible as being a muggle, Eloise thought savagely as she ripped out yet another stitch in the landscape she was embroidering. At least, it was supposed to be a landscape. Maybe with her head tilted to the left and with her eyes almost closed so everything blurred together, it might resemble one. She did just that, trying her hardest to make out some recognizable shape and blast the stupid practice of manually pushing colored thread through a fabric in some sort of -

“And what is this, Miss Babbit?”

Eloise jumped at the sound and looked up at the scowling face of her teacher, and then quickly back down at the tangled thread in her lap. Behind her, she could hear the hushed giggles of the other girls in her class.

“Oh! Er…it’s -”

“How long have you been here?” the woman interrupted.

“One hour…I just -”

“Don’t be smart with me. I mean, at this institute.”

“Five years.” Eloise glared down at her embroidery as if it had personally offended her. It wasn’t like she was actively trying to be bad at everything, but she had the distinct disadvantage - how had it ever come to be that she would be at a disadvantage to muggles? - of not having spent a lifetime being prepared for muggle society and all that it entailed. The last five years had been a monotonous, endless cycle of lessons designed to turn her into the perfect lady: French (a waste of time as Eloise was already fluent), embroidery (a waste of time as the things she embroidered weren’t actually useful), dancing (a waste of time as she was already engaged to be married - why would she bother trying to woo another silly man?), and her most dreaded class of all: etiquette. No matter how many years had been spent trying to assimilate into muggle culture, her thoughts still got muddled when she tried to remember the steps to a dance, or how to properly address the son of a duke.

Did it really matter, anyways, what the other girls thought? She had pretended her whole life to be the daughter she thought her parents had wanted - now she was simply pretending that she hadn’t been thrown into the muggle world without a second thought. What was a bit more pretending - that she didn’t care? That she hadn’t been tossed aside without a second thought?

“Exactly. Five years. And yet, you have shown no progress whatsoever. This -” a finger jabbed accusingly at the embroidery - “is absolutely horrendous. If your parents hadn’t continued to make such a sizeable donation every year, I would have deemed you a lost cause and sent you packing when you first arrived. How your family ever managed your betrothal to the son of an earl is beyond me.”

Eloise grimaced at the mention of her fiance as her teacher clapped her hands together to get the attention of the class - a wholly unnecessary action due to the fact that it was already being given. “Class is dismissed. Please collect your belongings and put them in the correct place. Remember, as future wives and mothers, you must be organized in all aspects of your life. Many of you will be managing important households and the slightest misstep -“ a slight glance to Eloise out of the corner of her eye - “can cause the biggest of scandals.”

Eloise raced to gather her things and leave the classroom before everyone else. No matter how many years had been spent at the school, she couldn’t help but hate sitting through the classes amongst the judgmental stares and snide remarks. Although things had started out shaky at the finishing school - to be expected, really, when you’ve grown up in wizarding society and then are then forced to live as a muggle - it still stung that after all these years, she still hadn’t found a friendly face. She was treated as if she were a pariah: it was as if the other girls just knew that something was different about her. But…wasn’t that the great irony of it all? She wasn’t different than them. She was a filthy squib.

When she first arrived at the school, she was an anomaly. A twelve-year-old girl who didn’t know how to play the piano or who the queen was. It was clear to everyone that Eloise wasn’t the charity case of the school - her parents were obviously quite wealthy - and yet they seemingly wanted nothing to do with her. Whereas the others got regular letters and visits from their family, it was as if Eloise were an orphan. Nothing new to her of course, but to her peers this otherness aided them in her ostracization.

Upon entering her room, she was abruptly pulled out of her thoughts. Something wasn’t right. Everything seemed the same: a twin bed perfectly made opposite a small wardrobe, a plain wooden desk placed between them. The weak afternoon sunlight shone through the window, illuminating her desk. But…there.

That…

Placed on her bed, resting on the pillow, was a letter.

She never received letters.

Eloise shoved her embroidery under her bed and hungrily grabbed at it, pausing when she saw the address. Miss E. Babbit. The Third Bedroom on the Left… It seemed vaguely familiar to her in a way she couldn’t quite put her finger on.

As she read the letter, though, it became apparent to her exactly why this was. Although not exactly the same as the one her brother had received six years earlier, it quickly became apparent that this was a Hogwarts letter. For her. For Miss E. Babbit.

Hands shaking, she set the letter down on her desk and sat on the edge of her bed. She smoothed her hands over her skirt over and over, taking comfort in the familiar softness as she tried to even her breathing.

How was this possible? She had all but accepted the fact that she was a squib. The shame of her family, a dirty secret to be hidden away and never talked about or mentioned again. Her parents had suspected as much by the time she had turned seven without any signs of magic whatsoever manifesting around her - not even a basic transformation of brussel sprouts to sweets during dinner. It was ultimately confirmed, however, when her own Hogwarts acceptance letter never arrived. She had spent the whole year before her banishment daydreaming about her life at Hogwarts, still optimistic that there could be something magical inside of her. Her brother, Leo, came home every holiday with wonderful stories of his new friends and teachers, and the subjects he was learning at school. Even back then, at twelve years old, Eloise hadn’t been sure if he was actually hopeful she wasn’t a squib, or if he had been trying to prolong the fantasy for her before it all came crashing down.

Although she had had five years to come to terms with her new life, there was still a small part of her that hoped. A small “what if…”. She had tried time and time again to squash that tiny ray of optimism that would escape every so often, tried so very hard to cultivate a hard exterior that wouldn’t let any sort of vulnerability shine through. And that optimism was a vulnerability, after all. It was that vulnerability that had made it absolutely impossible for her to fit in the muggle world, and made it so that she didn’t really want to try.

Five years to come to terms with the fact that she needed a new purpose for her life and…

…not anymore?

Eloise grabbed the letter and greedily read through it again, drinking in all of the words. She paused at the end, thinking. Was this a forgery? Some sort of awful joke orchestrated by her brother? Leo had never been cruel to her in the past; in fact, he was the one who always encouraged her and was the most probable source of the small optimism that remained within her. However, she had no way of knowing how he had changed since she had last seen him. It had been, after all, five very long years. And not once had she heard from him, even though he had promised her through huge sobbing gulps that he would never abandon her. Maybe their parents had slowly poisoned him against her. It would be right on the nose for them, after all.

Looking at the envelope again, however…Third Bedroom on the Left…no. It was too specific. Nobody in her previous life had any reason to even want to contact her again, and nobody in her current life even knew what Hogwarts was, let alone have the ability to convincingly forge a letter just to have some fun at her expense.

A light, bubbly feeling began to spread throughout her body as it sunk in that this was real. She was going to Hogwarts. Soon, a - squinting at the letter again - a Professor Fig would be contacting her and giving her things to study. A huge grin slowly spread across her face and she hugged the letter to her chest as she fell back on her bed. She read through it again. Was it the fifth time already? It felt as though no amount of times rereading the letter would ever be enough.

Eloise got up and walked over to look at the calendar on her desk. She was surprised to see that September 1st was in only two days. The days at the finishing school moved in such a strange, sluggish way. They all felt the same. Monotonous. French and Latin and embroidery and household management and Merlin even knows what else all blending into each other in an endless parade of dusty classrooms and gossip and boredom.

The light feeling left her in an instant as, after years of practice, the optimism was squashed back down. But how will you even get to London? And, her brain added sneakily, you haven’t even shown any signs of magic. Maybe you’ll just be returned back here after they realize their mistake.

No, she thought fiercely, gripping the letter. Until -

A tapping came from the window. A tentative smile returned at the sight of a tawny brown owl with another envelope in its beak. She ripped it open as soon as it was in her hands (again addressed to Miss E. Babbit) and along with the letter a small, purple pouch fell out of the envelope and onto her bed.

Miss Eloise Babbit,

I am pleased to be the wizard charged with such an important task as escorting you to Hogwarts in two days’ time. It is something extraordinary to be accepted in your fifth-year, and as such, I expect extraordinary things from you. I have enclosed a small pouch along with this envelope, and in it are some items that will be vital to you in the upcoming days. I have included books for you to study at your leisure, and a small gobstone that will bring you to our rendezvous point in London. All you have to do is touch it at noon on the 1st and you will be transported instantly.

Your family has not been informed of your acceptance. I am sure you understand why - at this, Eloise scoffed quietly to herself - which is why I will personally be your escort.

I am looking forward to meeting you and bringing you to the sorting ceremony in two days’ time.

Yours,

Eleazar Fig

The handwriting was tiny and spidery and cramped, but it didn’t stop Eloise from reading it with the same vigor as the previous letter and as many times. Finally, she turned to the small pouch that had fallen onto her bed when she opened the second envelope. It must have had an invisible extension charm, because it was filled to the brim with books on basic spellwork and general wizarding history. Professor Fig had no way of knowing, but Eloise had already read many of these books and many more during the year her brother had started Hogwarts, as she had needed to know absolutely everything about what would be awaiting her. A few years may have passed since she had stepped foot in her family’s library, but she couldn’t get the books or their contents out of her brain even if she had wanted to. She had really wanted to forget everything she knew about the magical world when it was confirmed she was a squib but it was a futile effort. As she zoned out during her piano lessons, she would find herself mentally going through the movements to cast different charms.

It was painful to be thinking about things from the life that had been ripped away from her, to know that what she was thinking about would never come to pass, that she would never be able to wield magic - and yet she couldn’t find herself able to stop.

As Eloise picked out one of the books and settled into her armchair, a steely resolve overcame her.

She would prove that she deserved to be there, and was just as capable as any of they were. She would make her parents regret ever discarding her like she was nothing.

She was worthy. She was capable. And she would prove it.

The morning of September 1st dawned cold and rainy. Absolutely perfect.

Eloise had pretended to be sick the night before, and no one had suspected a thing when she stayed in bed long after all of the other girls had gotten ready and headed to breakfast. As the last of the chattering faded away down the hallway, Eloise finally got out of bed and prepared herself for the day. It was difficult to sit still long enough to braid her hair. Her fingers wouldn’t stop trembling and she had to restart countless times. Finally, she tied the black ribbon at the end into a neat bow and turned to the drawer of her desk to retrieve the small purple pouch she had hidden away.

Everything she deemed important enough to come along with her had already been placed inside: the books from Professor Fig, the hair ribbons gifted to her by her brother many years ago, and some clothing. Nothing else was coming with. She needed the fresh start. Besides, anything else she might need would be supplied, as her acceptance letter had specifically stated that any school supplies would be provided to her.

Waiting the hours before noon came along proved to be more difficult than Eloise had imagined. Time seemed to be moving slower than the molasses that had come with the breakfast sent up to her, the steady patter of the rain becoming a sort of metronome keeping time as she paced back and forth. Wasn’t there anything that could distract her, even for a bit? She glanced at the clock. Only five minutes had passed since the last time. 10.35.

The second hand ticking away in tandem with the sound of rain splashing against her window.

What if this was all a trick? What if she arrived at Hogwarts, and they turned her away because they realized they had made a mistake? After all, why would they admit a sixteen-year-old? Surely she was too old; every other student had started Hogwarts at the age of twelve and had shown signs of magic much earlier than that. She still hadn’t shown any signs of magical capability whatsoever, and didn’t feel any different than she had before receiving the letter. It had to be a fluke.

As her thoughts started veering into the melancholy she was prone to, she shook her head. No. Today was a happy, exciting day. She wasn’t going to squash the optimism down today, not when she needed it most. All of these thoughts she was having were simply that: thoughts. Not reality. Hogwarts never made a mistake, and in all of the history books she had read, she couldn’t recall an instance of someone being turned away at the door. Granted, she had also never heard of someone being admitted so late. But, better to focus on what she did know, which was that she had gotten the letter. It must be right in its assumption that she had magic.

Trying to pass the time was easier said than done. She ended up quizzing herself on all of the charms she had memorized in the books sent by Professor Fig, moving an imaginary wand in the precise movements needed to successfully cast and focusing on her pronunciation. She had studied all of these forms late into both nights she had had the books, and when she would eventually close her eyes to sleep, the wand movements were all she saw.

Eloise was determined that she would receive pity from nobody. Nobody was going to look at her like she was lacking. She had gotten enough of that to last a lifetime, and now that she was given this opportunity she wasn’t about to waste it.

When noon finally struck, Eloise was ready and waiting. She eagerly grabbed the gobstone that was sitting on her desk and felt the familiar tugging sensation in her navel as she was whisked away to London and the beginning of her new life.

next chapter

[cheesecake-bich]

SAM TFA STYLE

Agent Simmons sheet

I got a new tablet and it's so yippie. Anyway Sam in the animated style.

Here are Sam's HC's for this stoopid au

Sam and William are related

Lennox doesn’t have a wife in this AU; [Sam fills the role of the 'child.' Lennox could possibly have custody of Sam. That’s why Sam is always with Lennox and not at home.]

Sam is a little airheaded. Stupid if you will. It's what gets him in dangerous situations. [However, he has that little sibling luck]

He may be lucky, (a little too lucky) That doesn't mean he doesn't get hurt. [He has a hidden scar under his shirt.]

Sam is knowledgeable about the existence of Aliens. (Probably shows interest in the languages.)

Tinkering/fixing up broken findings in Sect.7 [That they allow] is his favourite pastime.

However it's how he found out he's allergic to moondust. [Severely]

Sam isn't scared of a lot of things [go figure] but has a phobia of birds. Specifically crows, ravens, owls and woodpeckers. He ties them to his run-in with a dead body. [Prowl will help him overcome his phobia.]

He's also scared of hail and thunder. He doesn't enjoy overly noisy weather conditions. [Constant tapping on the window. Or sudden loud crashes. Specifically at night.]

He likes Ratchet [However, the medic just sees him as a smaller bumblebee. But an actual insect]

[lilac-rose-writes]

"I can't do this anymore"

(or- nugget, penny & lily parallels because i couldn't help myself)

nugget & penny both reach a breaking point, and it's only then that they rebel against the principals. nugget was intended to be an experiment; billy was an accidental substitute. penny wasn't meant to be an experiment; she still acted as a useful tool. both nugget & penny know more than they should about what the principals are up to. billy confided in nugget about what he knew, penny's been exposed to it firsthand. the principals control them via drugs and remotes, and both of them are despondent because of it.

and then there's lily. lily refuses to take the pills, refuses to give in to the principals, and she ends up in the reverse situation. her brother's gone, she's bullied relentlessly, and she's losing the will to live more by the day. when cindy pushes lily to her breaking point, lily does the opposite of rebelling. lily gives up.

penny tries to die and fails, so decides to help with the rescue instead despite the threat it puts on her life. the female principal kills her for it. the moment penny fights back, she's given what she wanted- in a death she couldn't achieve alone.

nugget can no longer remember what billy said to him, but he wants to help nonetheless. he gives up the note even though it's one of the only memories of billy he still has left. nugget can read. how many times do you think he's gone through it, deciphering the handwriting and committing each word to memory?

lily can't read. lily's trying to find billy. lily's the reason there's a statue watching everyone in the playground. lily's putting herself in danger. nugget's scared of the principal, scared of speaking against him, scared of putting both lily and himself in danger when he's almost entirely convinced that billy's already dead. nugget makes a memorial. no-one but billy had seen inside of his cave before. in giving kid the note, he gets what he wanted too- billy back in his life.

lily gives up. lily doesn't fight. in that loop, lily dies. in a way, that's what she wanted too.

there's also a difference in how they give in. nugget trips over his words, tearful and scared. nobody's allowed to talk about billy, not without the devices in their pockets blowing up. he's overcome with grief and trying to reminisce about a friend he's been forced to forget hurts more than he can put into words. nugget's is a confession. nugget's is a cry for help.

penny cries out. penny's in anguish, penny's brain and will and body are all rebelling against each other. people aren't meant to be robots. penny knows she wasn't meant to survive. she's desperate, she's shouting because no-one will listen. penny's is a warning that she won't stay. penny's is rebellion, because she can't find it in herself to obey anymore even as a plastic smile stays plastered on her face.

lily's apathetic. every word is monosyllabic until she reaches the end of her sentence. "mean" is juveline, "mean" is simplistic. lily's a child. she focuses on cindy's bullying so she doesn't have to think about everything else she's lost, everything else on her mind. lily's miserable. lily's detached. lily speaks softly. lily goes without a fight.

…, !!!, . nugget gives detail, struggling to express just how affected he's been by billy's disappearance. penny's words are short and capitalised, as loud as ted's agonised screams when he's pushed into the hole. lily offers two short sentences: a surrender.

[good-beans]

Attention milgramblrgram prisoners!! *attaches you to my keychain* *attaches you to my keychain* *attaches you

Not that I need atonement for anything, but I've been doing a lot of angst for milgramblrgram -- I wanted to offer something sweet 🤲

@amugoffandoms @rainbowghostcat @lostxmelody @gunsli-01 @justzosiahere

@waivyjellyfish @luce-speaks @fayesdiary @purgemarchlockdown @kyanako5972

[thecryptidbard]

The way this also totally adds new context to Hetty’s lines at the end of Possession: “don’t live your life with regrets, Samantha. Go after your dreams. Because you are only here for a short time.” 😭😭😭

[hephaestuscrew]

The role of Pryce and Carter's Deep Space Survival Procedure Protocol Manual in the characterisation, symbolism, and themes of Wolf 359

TL;DR: The DSSPPM is used as a tool to help establish and develop Minkowski and Eiffel as characters: Minkowski as a strict Commander who clings to the certainty provided by a rigid source of authority like the DSSPPM, and Eiffel as the anti-authority slacker who strongly objects to the idea that he ought to read the manual. The way their contrasting attitudes towards the DSSPPM manifest through the show reflect their character development and changing dynamic. The DSSPPM can be directly used against the protagonists by those with power over them, and the reveal of its authorship gives a particularly sinister edge to its regular presence in the show. But it can be also be repurposed and seen through an individual interpersonal lens.

Note: There’s plenty that you could say about the DSSPPM through the lens of what it says about Goddard Futuristics as an organisation, or about Pryce and Cutter as people. Or you could talk about Lambert quoting the DSSPPM an absurd number of times in Change of Mind, and Lovelace’s reactions to this. But in this essay, I’ll be analysing on mentions of the DSSPPM with a focus on Minkowski, Eiffel, and their dynamic.

“One of those mandatory mission training things”: the DSSPPM as a tool to establish characterisation

The first mention of Pryce and Carter's Deep Space Survival Procedure Protocol Manual (the DSSPPM) in Wolf 359 is also the very first interaction we hear Eiffel and Minkowski have. In fact, the first time we hear Minkowski's voice at all is her telling Eiffel off for not having read the manual:

[Ep1 Succulent Rat-Killing Tar] MINKOWSKI Eiffel, did you read your copy of Pryce and Carter?  EIFFEL My copy of what?  MINKOWSKI Pryce and Carter's Deep Space Survival Procedure Protocol Manual.  EIFFEL Was that one of those mandatory mission training things?  MINKOWSKI Yes.  EIFFEL In that case, yes, I definitely did.  MINKOWSKI Did you now? Because I happened to find your copy of the D.S.S.P.P.M. floating in the observation deck.  EIFFEL Oh?  MINKOWSKI Still in its plastic wrapping.

This is an effective way to establish their conflicting personalities right out of the gate. Minkowski's determination to "do things by the book - this book in fact" contrasts clearly with Eiffel's professed ignorance about and clear disregard for "this... Jimmy Carter thing”. Purely through their attitudes to this one book, they slot easily into clear archetypes which inevitably clash. Everything about Eiffel in that opening episode sets him up as a slacker who doesn't care about authority, but the image of his mandatory mission training manual floating in the observation deck "still in its plastic wrapping" provides a particularly striking illustration.

By contrast, we immediately encounter Minkowski as a strict leader who cares deeply about making sure everything is done according to protocol; the intense importance she places on the DSSPPM is one of the very first things we know about her. Her insistence on the importance of the survival manual might seem somewhat understandable at first, if perhaps unhelpfully aggressive, but it starts to feel less sensible as soon as we start to hear some of the tips from this manual:

Deep Space Survival Tip Number Five: Remain positive at all times. Maintain a cheerful attitude even in the face of adversity. Remember: when you are smiling the whole world smiles with you, but when you're crying you're in violation of fleet-wide morale codes and should report to your superior officer for disciplinary action.

The strange, controlling, vaguely sinister tone of some of the tips we hear in the first episode is largely played for laughs, emphasised by the exaggeratedly upbeat manner in which Hera reads them. But even these first few tips give us some initial suggestions that the powers behind this mission might not care all that much about the wellbeing of their crew members.

It says something about Minkowski that she places such faith and importance in a book which says things like "Failing to remain calm, could result in your grisly, gruesome death" and "when you're crying you're in violation of fleet-wide morale codes and should report to your superior officer for disciplinary action." (Foreshadowing the Hephaestus Station as the home of immense emotional repression and compartmentalising...) Having those kind of pressures and demands placed on her (and those around her) by people above her in the military hierarchy doesn’t unsettle Minkowski.

Eiffel groans and sighs as he listens to the tips, but Minkowski seems to see this manual as an essential source of wisdom. The main role the manual plays in this episode is to establish Minkowski and Eiffel as contrasting characters with very different approaches to authority and therefore a potential to clash.

When Minkowski demands that Eiffel reads the DSSPPM, he decides to get Hera to read it to him, asking her to keep this as “a 'just the two of us, totally secret, never tell Commander Minkowski' thing”. Eiffel seems convinced that Minkowski won't be happy with him listening to Hera read the DSSPPM rather than reading it himself. This suggests that (at least in Eiffel's interpretation) Minkowski’s orders are not just about her wanting him to know the contents of the manual, since this could theoretically be accomplished just as well by him listening to it. But she wants him to do things in what she’s deemed to be the correct way, to put in the right amount of effort, and not to take what she might see as a shortcut. It’s not just about the contents of the manual; it’s about the commitment to protocol that reading it represents.

“When in doubt: whip it out”: Hilbert’s use of the DSSPPM

In Season 1, the DSSPPM isn't purely associated with Minkowski. Hilbert actually quotes it more than she does in the first few episodes. In Ep2 Little Revolución, Hilbert's response to Eiffel's toothpaste protest is inspired by "Pryce and Carter six fourteen: “When in doubt, whip it out - ‘it’ being hydrochloric acid.”" This tip is absurd in a more direct obvious way than those we heard in Ep1. While this absurdity is partly for humour, it also casts further doubt on the usefulness of this supposedly authoritative survival manual, and therefore on the wisdom of trusting Command.

In Ep4 Cataracts and Hurricanoes, Hilbert starts to quote Tip #4 at Eiffel, who protests "I'm not gonna have one of the last things I hear be some crap from the survival manual". These moments again place Eiffel in clear opposition to the DSSPPM, but also suggest that Hilbert's attitude towards the DSSPPM - and therefore towards Command - is closer to Minkowski's than to Eiffel's.

When Hilbert turns on the Hephaestus crew in his Christmas mutiny, his allegiance to Command is revealed as dangerous. And here the DSSPPM comes up again. As Minkowski dissolves the door between her and Hilbert, she triumphantly echoes his own words back to him: "Pryce and Carter six fourteen: “When in doubt, whip it out - ‘it’ being hydrochloric acid.” Never. Fails." This provides a callback to a previous, more comedic conflict on the Hephaestus, and reminds the listener of a time when Minkowski and Hilbert were working together against Eiffel, in contrast to the current situation of Minkowski and Eiffel versus Hilbert. But it also shows that Minkowski, like Hilbert, is capable of using some of the more absurd DSSPPM tips to defeat an adversary. And it shows Minkowski leaning on those tips in a real moment of crisis.

Once Hilbert has betrayed the crew in order to follow orders from Command, we might look back on his quoting of the DSSPPM as casting the manual in a more sinister light, and again calling into question the wisdom of Minkowski placing such trust in it.

“It's not that I don't believe it, I'm just disgusted by it”: the DSSPPM as an indicator of a changing dynamic

The next mention of the DSSPPM is in Ep17 Bach to the Future:

MINKOWSKI Eiffel's been spot-testing me, Hera. He doesn't believe that I've memorized all of the survival tips in Pryce and Carter. EIFFEL It's not that I don't believe it, I'm just disgusted by it. I keep hoping to discover it's not true. MINKOWSKI Well, believe as little as you want, doesn't change the fact that I do know them. And so should you!

I think this provides an interesting illustration of the way in which Minkowski and Eiffel’s dynamic has developed since Ep1. They still have deeply contrasting attitudes to the DSSPPM, but this contrast is now a source of entertainment between them, rather than merely of conflict.

Given that Hera wasn’t aware of Eiffel testing Minkowski on the tips, we can guess that it’s a game they came up with while Hera was offline. In the midst of all the exhaustion and uncertainty and fear they were dealing with after Hilbert’s mutiny, this was a way they found to pass the time. It must have been Eiffel who suggested it; Minkowski cites his disbelief as the reason for the spot-testing. And yet she plays along, responding each time, even though this activity has no real productive value.

Minkowski is keen to demonstrate that she does know the tips and she emphasises that Eiffel ought to know them too, but their interactions about the DSSPPM in this episode have none of the genuine irritation and frustration that they displayed in Ep1. It feels almost playful and teasing. Eiffel still thinks Minkowski is "completely insane" for learning all the tips and is "disgusted" by her commitment to memorising them, but these comments feel much closer to joking about a friend's weird traits than to insulting a hated coworker's personality. It feels like something has shifted since Eiffel responded to Minkowski’s passion for the DSSPPM by saying “I'm so glad that your shrivelled husk of a dictator's heart is as warm as a decompression chamber”.

Another thing to note here is that Minkowski's respect for the DSSPPM has clearly survived Hilbert's Christmas mutiny and Minkowski's resulting distrust of Command. From Hilbert's behaviour at Christmas, it's clear that the crew's survival is not at the top of Command's priority list. But Minkowski still trusts the book that Command told her to read. She still thinks Eiffel should read it too. The main figures of authority above her are dangerous and untrustworthy, but she still clings to the source of guidance they provided her with.

It's also worth noting that Minkowski has not just learnt the advice in each of the 1001 tips, but she has memorised (nearly) all of them by number. If it was just about the information that the manual provides to inform responses to potentially life-or-death situations, then knowing the numbers wouldn't be necessary. Nor would it be particularly useful to know them all exactly word-for-word. Minkowski's reliance on the DSSPPM is again suggested to be about more than the potential practical use of its content. It's about showing that she is committed and disciplined and up to the task of leading. She does have some awareness of the strangeness of many of the tips, but this doesn't diminish the value of her adherence to the manual for her:

EIFFEL You're insane.  MINKOWSKI I'm disciplined. Although I will admit they do get more... esoteric as you go higher up the list.

There's only one tip Minkowski doesn't seem to remember, and that's revealing too:

EIFFEL 555? Minkowski DRAWS BREATH - and STOPS SHORT. [...] MINKOWSKI Hold on a second, I know this. (beat) Dammit. EIFFEL Hey, look at that! Looks like there may be hope for you yet. MINKOWSKI Quiet, Eiffel. Hera, what's D.S.S.P.P.M. 555? HERA "Good communication habits are key to continued subsistence. Be in touch with other crew members about shipboard activities. Interfacing about possible problems or dangers is the best way to anticipate and prevent them." This hangs in the air for a second. Then – EIFFEL So you forget the one tip in the entire manual that's actually helpful? MINKOWSKI Shut up.

Communication is a key theme of this show, so it’s interesting that this is the one tip Minkowski can’t remember, perhaps indicating an aspect of leadership and teamwork that she doesn’t always prioritise or find easy.

Eiffel saying “Looks like there may be hope for you yet” seems like just a throwaway teasing line, but it’s got a profound edge to it. A lot of Minkowski’s arc is about learning how to provide her own direction and support her crew outside of the systems of authority and hierarchy that she’s grown so attached to. So perhaps Eiffel is right to see a kind of hope in her failure to remember every single DSSPPM tip – she has the potential to break free of her reliance on external authority.

“Which one was 897, what was the exact phrasing of that Deep Space Survival Tip?”: the DSSPPM in interactions with Cutter

The Wolf 359 liveshow, Deep Space Survival Procedure and Protocol, is literally named after the manual. This suggests, before we’ve even heard/watched the episode, that the DSSPPM will be a key symbol here. Which is interesting because I'd say the liveshow has two main plot points: (a) Eiffel's failure to read the DSSPPM or follow orders in general, the resulting disruption to the mission, and his crewmates' frustration with this; and (b) the looming threat of Cutter, the necessity of keeping information from Command, and the risk of fatal mission termination.

Even without the knowledge that Cutter is one of the co-authors of the DSSPPM (which neither the Hephaestus crew nor a first-time listener knows at this point), there's a kind of irony in the contrast between these two plotlines. On the one hand, Minkowski repeatedly berates Eiffel for not having read Pryce and Carter's Deep Space Survival Procedure and Protocol Manual, which was made mandatory by Command. On the other hand, she is aware that Command in general - and Cutter specifically - represents the biggest threat to the safety and survival of her crew.

Cutter uses the DSSPPM against each of the Hephaestus crew in their one-on-one conversations with him. For Minkowski, he uses it as a way of emphasising the expectations and responsibility placed on her:

MINKOWSKI There are always gaps between expectation and reality, but-- CUTTER But it's our job as leaders to close that gap, isn't it? Pryce and Carter...? MINKOWSKI 414, yes. Yes, sir, I know.

Cutter knows that Minkowski will know those tips and he knows abiding by them is important to her. She's quick to demonstrate her knowledge of the DSSPPM and agree with the tip. There's something deeply sinister to me about Cutter's use of the word 'our' here. His phrasing includes them both as leaders who should be ensuring that things are exactly as expected. It’s almost a kind of flattery at her authority, but it comes with impossibly high expectations. This way of emphasising the importance and responsibilities of her role as Commander is a targeted strategy by Cutter at manipulating Minkowski, designed to appeal to her values.

In Hera's one-on-one, Cutter uses a DSSPPM tip to interpret her behaviour and claim that he can read her motives:

CUTTER This thing you're doing. Asking questions while you get your bearings. HERA Sir, I'm just curious about-- CUTTER Pryce and Carter 588: Shows of courtesy and polite queries are an efficient way to gain time necessary to strategize.

Unlike with Minkowski (or Eiffel), Cutter doesn't prompt Hera to demonstrate her knowledge of the manual. That wouldn't work as a power play against Hera, who would be able to recall the manual (or, rather, retrieve the file, however that distinction works within her memory) but who doesn't care about the DSSPPM like Minkowski does. Instead, Cutter implies that Hera’s behaviour can be predicted - or at the very least seen through - by the DSSPPM, which seems like a cruel attempt by Cutter at belittling her.

For Eiffel, Cutter uses the manual as a weapon in a different way again. He asks Eiffel, "which one was 897, what was the exact phrasing of that Deep Space Survival Tip?", something which Eiffel clearly doesn't know, but Cutter of course does. This puts Eiffel on the back foot, trying to defend and justify himself, allowing Cutter to emphasise his position of power yet again.

The DSSPPM plays a double role in the liveshow. On the one hand, as Minkowski reminds Eiffel, proper knowledge of the manual "would've saved [the crew] from these problems with the nav computer" – some of the tips can potentially save the crew a great deal of hassle, stress, and risk. On the other hand, the same manual is used by Cutter to manipulate, unsettle, and intimidate the crew. There are these two sides to the information given to the crew by Command - two sides to the manual which Minkowski still values.

In another duality for the DSSPM, the manual is sometimes used as a symbol of the relationship between the crew members and Command, and sometimes used to indicate the dynamics between the individual crew members, usually Minkowski and Eiffel. Before Cutter’s appearance in the liveshow, Minkowski and Eiffel’s discussions of the DSSPPM reflect interpersonal disagreements between two people with fundamentally different attitudes:

MINKOWSKI Oh come on, why do you think I keep trying to get you to go over these things? Do you think I enjoy going through them? EIFFEL Yes. MINKOWSKI Well, alright, I do. But this knowledge could save your life.

Minkowski enjoys rules, regulations, and certainty, for their own sake as much as for any practical usefulness. Eiffel very much does not. This is a simple clash of individuals, in which the link between the DSSPPM and Command is implicit. Minkowski doesn't seem to question the idea that the information in the DSSPPM is potentially life-saving, even though she knows Command don't care about their lives. But Cutter’s repeated references to the DSSPPM remind us who made that book a mandatory part of mission training – it certainly wasn’t Minkowski, even if she’s often the one attempting to enforce this rule.

At the end of the liveshow, in a desperate attempt to prevent mission termination, Eiffel promises Cutter that he will read the DSSPPM (the liveshow transcript notes that him saying this is "like pulling teeth"), an instance of the manual being used in negotiations between the Hephaestus crew and Command. All Minkowski’s orders weren’t enough to get Eiffel to read that book, but a genuine life-or-death threat might just about be enough. Perhaps it's ironic that Eiffel reads the survival manual out of a desire for survival, not because he thinks the contents of the book will help him survive, but because he’s grasping anything he can offer to buy the crew’s survival from those who created that same book.

In the final scene of the liveshow, Minkowski catches Eiffel reading the DSSPPM, and he fumbles to hide that he's been reading it, a humorous reversal of all the times that he's lied to her that he has read it. Perhaps admitting that he's reading it would be like letting Minkowski win. Minkowski seems to find both surprise and amusement in seeing Eiffel finally reading the manual, but she doesn't push him to admit it. There's some slightly smug but still friendly teasing in the way Minkowski says "were you now?" when Eiffel says that he was just reading something useful. In that final scene, the manual is viewed again through the lens of Minkowski and Eiffel’s dynamic – Command’s relation to the DSSPPM becomes secondary.

“The first thing I'd make damn sure was hard wired into anything that might end up in a situation like this one”: the DSSPPM as a tool of survival

In Ep30 Mayday, when Eiffel is stranded alone on Lovelace’s shuttle, he hallucinates Minkowski to bring him out of his helpless panic and force him into action. And this hallucination also brings with it one of Minkowski’s interests:

MINKOWSKI Eiffel... I worked on this shuttle. Reprogramming that console. EIFFEL So? How does that help – MINKOWSKI Think about it. BEAT. And then he gets it. EIFFEL Oh goddammit. MINKOWSKI What's the first thing that I would do when programming a flight computer? The first thing I'd make damn sure was hard wired into anything that might end up in a situation like this one? EIFFEL Pyrce and Carter's Deep Space Survival Procedure and Protocol Manual.

Again, a conversation about the DSSPPM gives us an indication of the development of Minkowski and Eiffel’s relationship. Not only does Eiffel imagine Minkowski as a figure of (fairly aggressive) support when he’s stranded and alone, he thinks about what advice she’d give him and he follows it. Rather than dismissing the manual entirely, he looks for tips that are relevant to his situation. He’s not pleased about his hallucinated-Minkowski trying to get him to read the DSSPPM, but that was what his mind gave him in an almost hopeless situation. Some part of him now empathises with Minkowski’s priorities in a way that he definitely wasn’t doing in Ep1. He thinks that the DSSPPM might be on the shuttle because he knows the manual is important to Minkowski. It’s by imagining Minkowski that he gets himself to read the manual in order to see if it can help him survive – he certainly doesn’t think about what Cutter or anyone else from Command would tell him to do.

In the end, the tips Eiffel picks out aren’t all that helpful or informative: “Confront reality head-on”; “In an emergency, take stock of the tools at your disposal. Then take stock again. Restock. Repurpose. Reuse. Recycle."; and “"In times of trouble, an idle mind is your worst enemy”. But Eiffel does use these tips to structure his initial thinking about how to survive on Lovelace’s shuttle. In an almost entirely hopeless situation, Eiffel finds some value in the DSSPPM. But since the tips he picks out are mostly platitudes, the actual wisdom that allows him to survive all comes from his own mind; the tips, like his hallucinations, are just a tool he uses to externalise his process of figuring out what to do.

“Wasn't there something about this in the survival manual?”: Minkowski potentially moving away from the DSSPPM

Given the significance of the DSSPPM in Season 1 and 2 to Minkowski in particular, it feels notable when the manual isn’t referenced. Unless I've missed something (and please let me know if I have), Minkowski – the real one, not Eiffel’s hallucination - doesn't bring up the manual of her own accord at all in Seasons 3 or 4. This might make us wonder if she’s moved away from her trust in and reliance on that book provided by Command.

Perhaps the arrival of the SI-5, which highlights to Minkowski that the chain of command is not a good indicator of trustworthy authority, was the final straw. Or perhaps the apparent loss of Eiffel - and any subsequent questioning of her leadership approach, or realisations about the valuable perspective Eiffel provided - were what finally broke down her faith in that book.

Alternatively, perhaps Minkowski still trusts the DSSPPM as much as ever, but trying to get Eiffel or any of the other crew members to listen to it is a losing battle that she no longer sees as a priority. Either way, Minkowski’s apparent reluctance to bring up the DSSPPM feels like a shift in her approach. 

The associations between Minkowski and the DSSPPM are still there in Season 3, but they are raised by other characters, not by Minkowski herself. The manual is used to emphasise Eiffel’s difficulties when he’s put in charge of trying to get Maxwell and Hera to fill out a survey in Ep32 Controlled Demolition. Trying to force other people to be productive pushes Eiffel into some very uncharacteristic behaviour:

EIFFEL Jesus Christ, what is wrong with you? It's like you've never even read Pryce and Carter! Tip #490 very clearly states that – He trails off. After a BEAT – HERA Officer Eiffel? MAXWELL You, uh, all right there? EIFFEL (the horror) What have I become? [...] Eiffel, now wrapped up in a blanket, is next to Lovelace. He is still very clearly shaken. EIFFEL ... and... it was like an episode of the Twilight Zone. I was slowly transforming into Commander Minkowski. [...] It was a nightmare! A terrifying, bureaucratic nightmare!

This is a funny role reversal, but it shows us the strength of Eiffel’s association between Minkowski and the DSSPPM, as well his extreme aversion to finding himself in a strict bureaucratic leadership position. It also suggests that becoming extremely frustrated when trying to get other people to do what you want might make anyone resort to relying on an external source of authority, such as the manual. I don’t know whether this experience helps Eiffel empathise with Minkowski, but perhaps it might give us some insight into how her need for authority and control in the leadership role she occupied might have reinforced her deference to the DSSPPM.

In Ep34, we get a suggestion of another character having a strong association between the DSSPPM and Minkowski. After the discovery of Funzo, Hera asks Minkowski what the manual says about it:

HERA Umm... I don't know if this is a good idea. Lieutenant, wasn't there something about this in the survival manual? MINKOWSKI Pryce and Carter 792: Of all the dangers that you will face in the void of space, nothing compares to the existential terror that is Funzo.

It’s interesting to me that Hera asks Minkowski here. We know from Ep1 that “Pryce and Carter's Deep Space Survival Procedure Protocol Manual is among the files [Hera has] access to”. Two possible reasons occur to me for why Hera might ask Minkowski about the DSSPPM tip here. One possibility is that Hera thinks that retrieving the manual from her databanks and finding the correct tip would take her more time than it would take for Minkowski to just remember the tip. Which suggests interesting things about the nature of Hera’s memory, but also implies that - at least in Hera's view -Minkowski’s knowledge of the DSSPPM is more reliable than that of a supercomputer.

The other possibility is that Hera could have recalled the relevant DSSPPM tip incredibly quickly but she doesn’t want to, maybe because she resents having that manual in her head in the first place, or maybe because she wants to show respect for Minkowski’s knowledge as a Commander. Either way, we can see that Hera – like Eiffel – strongly associates Minkowski with the DSSPPM.

And Minkowski, even if she wasn’t the one to bring up the manual here, recalls the relevant tip immediately. Perhaps she is moving away from her trust in that manual, but everything that she learned as part of her old deference to the authority of Command is still there in her head. She might want to forget it by the end of the mission, but that’s not easily achieved. The way Minkowski’s friends/crewmates associate the manual with her emphasises the difficulty she’ll face if she tries to move away from it.

“One thousand and one pains in my ass”: The authorship of the DSSPPM

In Ep55 A Place for Everything, Eiffel effectively expresses his long-held dislike of the DSSPPM when he comes face-to-face with both of its authors:

EIFFEL What? What the hell are - wait a minute - Pryce? As in one thousand and one pains in my ass, Pryce? (sudden realization) Which... makes you...? MR. CUTTER (holding out his hand) W.S. Carter, pleased to meet you. 

It’s significant that the two ‘big bads’ of the whole series are the authors of the manual which Minkowski and Eiffel were bickering about all the way back in Ep1. It’s not the only way in which the message of this show positions itself firmly against just accepting externally imposed authority and hierarchy without question or evidence, but it does reinforce this ethos.

By being the authors of the manual, Cutter and Pryce have had a sinister hidden presence throughout the show. Long before we know who Pryce is and even before we hear Cutter’s name, their manual is there, occupying a prominent place in Minkowski’s motivations and priorities, and in her arguments with Eiffel. It’s not at all comparable to what Pryce put in Hera’s mind, but it is another way in which these antagonists have wormed their way into the heads of our protagonists.

Minkowski will have to come to terms with the fact that the 1001 tips she spent hours memorising and reciting were written by two people who would have killed her, her crew, and even the whole human race without hesitation if it served their purposes. We never get to hear Minkowski’s reaction to learning the identities of Pryce and Carter, but I think processing the role of their manual in her life will be a long and difficult road that’ll tie into a lot of other emotional processing she needs to do. Her assertion to Cutter that, without him, she is “Renée Minkowski... and that is more than enough to kick your ass!” feels like part of that journey. She doesn’t mention the DSSPPM at all in Season 4. She’s growing beyond it.

"Doug Eiffel's Deep Space Survival Guide": The DSSPPM as a weapon against those who wrote it

Last but not least, I couldn’t write about Eiffel and the DSSPPM without mentioning this scene from  Ep58 Quiet, Please:

EIFFEL As someone once told me: "Pryce and Carter 754: In an emergency, take stock of the tools at your disposal, then take stock again. Repurpose, reuse, recycle." And right now? You know what I got? I got this lighter from when Cutter was using me as his personal cabana boy. [...] and I've got myself this big, fat copy of the Deep Space Survival Manual, and you know what I'm gonna do with it? [...] Eiffel STRIKES THE LIGHTER. And LIGHTS THE BOOK ON FIRE, revealing Pryce just a few feet away from him! EIFFEL I am going to repurpose it... and reuse it... and recycle it into a GIANT FIREBALL OF DEATH! And he swings the flaming book forward, HITTING PRYCE ON THE SIDE OF THE HEAD. [...] EIFFEL That's right! Doug Eiffel's Deep Space Survival Guide, B-

No one other than Doug Eiffel could pull off the chaotic energy of this moment. It doesn’t get much more anti-authority than lighting the mandatory mission manual on fire and using it as a weapon against one of its malevolent authors. It might not be the wisest move safety-wise, and it certainly doesn’t improve the situation when the node gets jettisoned into space. But there is still a powerful symbolism in taking a symbol of the hierarchical forces that have tried to constrain you for years and setting it alight to fight back against those forces. Eiffel takes his own approach to survival and puts his own name into the title, an assertion of his agency and rejection of Command's authority.

The DSSPPM tip that he uses here is one of those he considers when stranded on Lovelace’s shuttle. It’s understandable that after that experience it might have stuck in his memory.

I can’t help feeling that the line “as someone once told me” has a double meaning here. The immediate implication is to interpret “someone” as being Pryce and Cutter – it’s their manual after all – which makes this line a fairly effective ‘fuck you’ gesture, emphasising how Eiffel is using Pryce’s manual against her in both an abstract and a physical sense.

But I think “someone” could also mean Minkowski. Eiffel uses a singular rather than plural term, there’s already an association established between Minkowski and the DSSPPM, and, in Mayday, it’s his hallucination of Minkowski that gets him to read this tip. She's probably also recited this tip to him at other points as well. Under this interpretation, this line is as much a gesture of solidarity with Minkowski as it is a taunt to Pryce. I like the idea that these two interpretations can run alongside each other, reflecting the duality of the use of the DSSPPM that I talked about in relation to the liveshow.

Conclusion

The DSSPPM is a symbol of external rules imposed on people by those with power over them. These rules can be strange, arbitrary, and even sinister, but for those with a desire for certainty and control, like Minkowski, they can be tempting. And they can have their uses, as well as the potential to be repurposed. Attitudes towards these rules provide an effective shorthand as part of Minkowski and Eiffel’s characterisation. And the clash between these attitudes, and how that clash manifests, can tell us something about how the dynamic between those characters develops and changes.

[tyuncat]

thinking about possessive but soft dom!soobin who gets jealous when you get physically too close (in his opinion) to the other members. you’re his treasured possesion and he does not like to share.

soobin, who pulls you back to him and anxiously fidgets with the hem of your skirt for the remainder of the evening.

soobin, who appears calm and won’t say a word but gives a death stare every time any of the members dares to look your way.

soobin, who won’t let go of your hand the whole way home, looking at you like you hung the moon and the stars, occasionally kissing your lips fleetingly and tearing up a bit thinking about the possibility of losing you one day.

finally soobin who touches you like you were made out of the finest porcelain and could break under mere pressure of his hands, leaving butterfly kisses all over your body, trying to leave delicate marks to show that you’re only his, without causing even a tiny bit of pain or discomfort. eating you out like a starved man, like you were the only thing he wants to taste forever. so sweet and addictive. tears of desperation forming in his eyes once again as he says "they would never give it to you like i do, they would never treat you the same way. you’re mine, only mine". and later falling asleep holding your fragile body in his warm caring embrace, whispering words of affection in your ear and making sure that you know he would never let any other man touch you.

you’re ruined for anyone else by him anyway.

[timeloop-observer]

time loop Stands For Some Things question mark? mostly just curious about your interpretation of the metaphor(s) there as someone only vaguely familiar with the game. sorry for stumbling on your special interest blog and asking for the literal ABCs of isat im just soo questions

ok well the thing is the things that the loop stands for in isat are Big Spoilers. so uh, go into the read more at your own discretion? also keep in mind this is just my interpretation

the way i see it, the loops can be read psychologically and metawise. psychologically, it's all about being trapped in patterns of behavior. conversations that you've already had dozens of time before, things that you and the people around you keep doing, cycles that repeat for no one's benefit, safe for the unintended effect of not having to change or open up about your issues. siffrin keeping himself and his party hostage by not being vulnerable with them but refusing to let them leave out of fear and love. and thus making the same mistakes and doing the same things over and over until they get so burnt out and mess up so hard it threatens to Ruin Everything (where the game once again ramps up siffrin's subjective perception to cosmic cataclysm proportions via wish craft).

metawise, isat is also a commentary on how hard it is to leave a good game behind. the story is framed as the endgame area of a different jrpg (which i'll refer to as "the larger game" from here on out) for a reason: siffrin is effectively the player being unable to reckon with the fact the larger game is almost over. running around with different sidequests, trying to find more ways to spend time with the characters, feeling the endgame grind of fighting against enemies time and time again for exp, doing anything and everything to just not let the game go. it even escalates to the point of their attachment becoming warped, ironically getting so invested that they wind up flattening the complexities of the story and characters that they loved so much it caused this (siffrin with their stageplay metaphors paralleling how some people become hyperaware of the fact they're "playing a game" and "trying to 100% it" which ironically even happens to isat).

the two allegories are in my opinion two sides of the same silver coin and serve as another element of what makes siffrin so compelling (not to mention relatable, i only thought of the psychological angle because i sometimes feel like i'm in a timeloop when a depressing situation happens that has happened before- I MEAN WHAT).

[purplecritter]

theories/thoughts/analysis about touchstarved after playing the demo a few times

Under the cut because it got long (I exceeded the post character limit...) Also spoilers btw. PS: All the links are to posts on the official social media accounts or their kickstarter, with the exception of the animated trailer screenshots that I got from here.

(Happy one month since demo dropped!)

Mhin

I'm starting with them because I play favorites.

Mhin's silhouette [1, 2] in the animated trailer [screenshot] highlights the crying eye (guilt? pain? blood? Their pupils almost seem to glow red, I wonder if it's connected) and the beak (in a way that reminds me of the skull of a bird rather than a live one).

The red choice connected to them is about asking if they're a scientist: their precision is almost surgical, though when asked if they've studied anatomy or medicine their reply is “Not quite” so it must be something similar enough.

When Vere complains about their first encounter with Mhin, he mentions that their dagger (visible in their in-game art) is an antique. Perhaps they inherited it, maybe from a mentor? It’s a curious choice of weapon for a hunter: stilettos (it’s described as such in the demo) aren’t ineffective in battle (especially if wielded by a physically strong fighter, which they absolutely are), but they are favored by assassins because they’re easy to conceal, they strike precisely and deeply but without letting much blood leak from the needle-thin wound.

As far as design goes, the clasps on their hood looks like a mix between the quaternary celtic knot and the triquetra / trinity knot. Symbolically, the latter is associated to the Triple Goddess (more on this in Leander’s section) or three elements, while the former represents the four elements or the four seasons or the four cardinal directions, and is often used as a symbol of protection.

Their fatal flaw is that they “resist change at all costs”. I'm led to believe that they became a Monster instead of being born one. I think it either happened not that long ago or they lost control over it recently, and that's what spurred them on their search for a cure. Them being described as “outcast” also makes me think that they could have been exiled from wherever they came from, perhaps because the people found out that “a monster hides within their frame”.

When questioning them about Ais, they say “I'm not going to risk my life in the hopes that any of them is different” which shows that they’re distancing themself from their situation (i.e., being/becoming a Monster).

Their hate towards Monsters could be either a projection of the hate they feel towards themself (if they were aware that there was a Monster inside of them before they lost control and hurt someone, for example) or just because one took over them and by extension they hate every Monster because of it. If the “lost control and hurt someone” thing is true I'll also add that they might be working as a Hunter as a way to try and atone. It could also be a way to expel the more violent instincts (I’m assuming they have some) into something productive.

The “they're afraid of being hurt. Or worse” on their relationship chart with Kuras feels to me like they're afraid of hurting him, also because when you ask them how they get along with him during the demo, they say “Few people are willing to help others; fewer when there's any risk involved” and I'm choosing to interpret that they think of themself as the risk. I know I'm really pushing it on this aspect but the “If you stay too close to me, you'll get hurt”+“Find someone safer to ask for help” only fuels me more. Their monstrous form also looks less defined and more liquid compared to the others, maybe because it's not as developed so it doesn't look as solid?

Vere is also said to be often provoking Mhin in order to make them lose control: he's confident in himself enough to think that he'd have the upper hand in a fight with Monster!Mhin, probably because they're a skilled hunter but they don't have that much experience over their monstrous side. Mhin dislikes Vere because he’s “the embodiment of everything [they] hate about Monsters”: while Mhin holds back from their nature and seeks a cure, Vere wants to give in to his instincts without restraints.

In the demo, they get defensive when questioned about the Senobium, but when they say “Whatever you're looking for, the cost may be higher than what you're willing to pay” I think they're speaking from experience.

It's interesting that it's implied that they slept with Leander once. Judging by the comment about the Wet Wick being the “perfect combination for making mistakes”, they're not enthusiastic about it. I’m guessing that they don't like that Leander has seen them with their guard down? Or they

Unless I missed something, it's unknown where in Eridia they're staying. I'll say it's probably in a different direction from the Wet Wick since they make a point of saying that they're only going there to protect Kuras (instead of, for example, “I live nearby anyways so I'll take the same road”).

The flowers in their pin design look similar to cornus kousa, or some other type of dogwood, symbolizing hope, resilience, renewal (I also found: rebirth, new life, strength, regret). After a long and grueling winter, Eridia greets the first dogwood blossoms with relief. These flowers are known to cling tenaciously to life even in the worst conditions, from barren wastelands to ruins perpetually shrouded in Fogfall… Really poetic meaning! I imagine Mhin as the dogwood flower, persisting even after the Tragic Backstory that made them lonely (“barren wastelands”) and their Monster Form (“shrouded in fogfall”)

Leander

Leander's silhouette [1, 2] in the animated trailer [screenshot] highlights only his eyes (they share the color of his magic -> maybe it's how he uses magic that contributes to him being “monstrous”?).

Nothing to note about his red choice except that it is unlocked by generally following his lead (taking the flower when he offers it, touching him without hesitation).

Speaking of his magic, an Alchemist MC notes that it extraordinarily powerful, enough that he doesn't need incantations or spell circles to cast it. Kuras mentioned that Leander prefers the company of those similar to him and that the Bloodhounds are mostly people who've endured the hardships of Lowtown, so I can't help but wonder if Leander was always a natural at magic, or if he did receive training but was later cast out, or maybe he left by choice?

A recurrent symbol in Leander's design is the triangle, as a detail mostly (on his coat, boots, dangling from his belt), but there's also one that looks like the alchemical symbol for earth (🜃) attached to the brooch on his chest; another symbol for earth is, you guessed it, the serpent, whose other meaning is duplicitous nature as well as renewal and rebirth. This connects to the ouroboros (present in his earring as well as in the background of the sticker and charm kickstarter rewards), symbolizing the cycle of death and rebirth and with relevance in alchemy as the “all in one”. The same theme is also present in the symbol of the triple moon (on his belt) symbolizing the stages of birth life and death and more in general three aspects united in one; the white lilies symbolizing renewal, regrowth, rebirth. The green feels fitting too, since it's often used to symbolize health and abundance.

Alongside the little triangle shape, attached to his belt there are a key (which is not the room key he gave MC), the head of which reminds me of two snakes knotted together; there's also a... I have no clue what that glowing red globe-spike is actually. It's the only other red item (along with the gem on the earring sword hilt) on Leander, but in some of the concept art it was green instead, so I think it's at least somewhat connected to his magic or the source of it. The shape of it combined with the red glow reminds me of Eridia’s towers’ architecture but that’s probably a stretch. I also feel like the symbol on the central part of the triple moon belt buckle is relevant: it immediately reminded me of a spell circle, and after doing some digging in sacred geometry, I’ve found that its 6 petal-like shapes (lilies also have 6 petals...) look similar to the hexafoil, “germ of life”, or the central part of the “seed of life”, which is connected to the divine creation of the world in 7 days/phases; a series of interconnected hexafoils make the “flower of life”, the meaning of which is creation (both in general and of the universe itself), and that everything’s interconnected to everything else... I couldn’t help but think of the “As above, so below” tagline in the Bloodhounds' poster; the sentence has so many interpretations in alchemy/esotericism but the gist of it is, “things in the higher realms of existence are just like in the lower/earthly plane” and “what happens in a large scale also happens in a small scale” and “common material things can make pure spiritual things”.

Overall, I'm thinking that all the green-glowing details on his outfit might be arcane foci, to help him cast magic without using incantations. As of right now, I’m willing to bet that Leander's connected to the Allmother (the traveler in the cart prayed to her) and/or the Abbess (the leader of the Senobium, I think): many of the aforementioned symbols also have ties to femininity and/or feminine qualities.

Other big things in his design are the eyebags and scar that goes from the cheek to the arm. I don’t have much to say on those, probably the scar is going to be connected to some important backstory event and the eyebags are a clue to suggest that there’s something troubling behind the bright and positive persona that he presents as.

If we want to take the name literally (I do), we could assume that Leander and his Bloodhounds are not simply a group of mercenaries, but mercenaries with a cause. Hounds are a breed specifically intended to track something specific (or someone specific) by scent. Given the animosity shown by them at the mere mention of the Senobium, it could have something to do with that, but perhaps it's also something more personal to Leander.

Let's get to the biggest red flag of the green-themed man: “Fatal flaw: [REDACTED]” and “Not all Monsters are inhuman”. There's also the fact that Vere doesn't trust his behaviour (I'll get to it in his section but I would generally trust Vere's words to be truthful). It’s also worth noting that in the first scene he makes an appearance in, he’s presented almost as a performer, a subtle-not-so-subtle hint that he can work his audience really skillfully. Overall, he seems too good to be true, and to quote Leander himself in the demo, “Things that seem too good to be true are often just that.” I don't think he's malevolent per se, but I also believe he's a very good liar (or at least, good at keeping his cards close to his pillowy bosom chest) and he can be a lot more ruthless than he lets on.

I already said it in Mhin's section but it's implied that the two of them slept together once, and I can't help but wonder if Leander also tried the whole "let me touch you so I can see what curses you but also you can tie me down if you want wink wink" tactic with them.

I get the feeling that he also slept with Ais? “He sure likes it when others take control”+“He's not so bad once you get to know him”. The bartender didn't joke about the room being used often huh (i’m saying this lighthearted and teasingly, nothing against it lol).

He's obviously staying at the Wet Wick with the rest of the Bloodhounds, and it happens often enough that the bartender/owner is familiar with their habits. I wonder if he also as a house of his own or not.

The flowers (in-game art, animated trailer, pin design, charm and sticker design) are white lilies, symbolizing devotion, sympathy and faith (I also found: renewal/rebirth/reregrowth and purity. Nothing says “I love you” as clearly as white lilies—ironic, since they’re some of the region’s most poisonous flowers. Some mages believe that these lilies contain a mysterious magic, but attempts to harness this power have only resulted in lethal poisonings. A not-so-veiled warning to be careful of what lies behind Leander’s charming facade... And considering that he seems to like when MC defers to him, I could imagine the (metaphorical... unless?) lethal poisoning in a possible bad end!

Kuras

Kuras' silhouette [1, 2] in the animated trailer [screenshot] highlights the several eyes (truth and secrets being very important themes in his route, he's also described as “observer”) and his tears (his guilt).

No red choice for Kuras, but there is various flavour text depending on choices. First and most notably, the Unnamed MC notes that something about him feels familiar: this could simply be a hint about him being divine in nature, or it might mean something more, I'm still uncertain. Moreover, depending on dialogue, one of his scenes towards the end of the demo plays out slightly differently, and it shows the more playful side of him (which I absolutely didn’t expect, but I enjoyed that).

As far as appearance goes, his human form and his divine form have many similarities: this post does a very good job of showing them, but additionally I'll say that his halo (silhouette, charm and sticker design) reminds me of the shape of his earrings.

There are a few lines that imply that being in Kuras' vicinity feels physically warmer. It could be just a standard “MC likes him so being near makes them feel all warm and fuzzy” but I think it's more to do with his angelic nature having a comforting effect on people. Something that could be connected to that is the theme of fire (“eldritch flames”, also visible in the charm and sticker design), which symbolically is the element that purifies souls and reveals the truth.

His clinic seems very neat, for someone who works with numerous patients for the whole day. Moreover, his clothes stay unnaturally devoid of any sign of dirt. His appearance is also very curated, so I think that part of it is him being thorough about cleaning and part of it might be a consequence of his magic. Additionally, during the 16/04/23 Q&A stream with the devs (timestamp: 49:32), they (jokingly) said that Kuras doesn’t even put his hair up while performing surgeries, which to me also means that he doesn’t need to do it because he’s supernaturally clean and hygienic.

There's no clear mention of him having magic in the first place, but I don't think he could've completely reattached MC's arm so flawlessly any other way.

I wouldn't think much of it if it were any other character but Kuras' birthday being January 1st makes me think that he picked the date on purpose... or randomly, considering it doesn’t seem to be important to him.

During the 16/04/23 Q&A stream with the devs (timestamp: 41:24), it was noted that Kuras’ name was deliberately chosen, I think implying that it probably has a meaning behind it, though I can’t say what as of now (my search only revealed that kurash is a type of wrestling in Central Asia, and that there’s a deity called Kura in a region of Syria).

I think it's a known fact in Eridia that Kuras is not simply human (“Only the most desperate or the foolish would dare lay a hand on me”), so it's interesting that he chose to not disclose that to the MC. Granted, they've interacted for less than a day now and information is the currency. I also wonder if he’s always been a doctor or if he chose to become one at a certain point... I guess it would depend: is he “repentant” for something he did before settling in Eridia, or after?

Ais also thinks that Kuras used to be more outgoing but the reason he doesn’t really open up a lot to people anymore is because he “must’ve been burned”, which is an interesting insight. I lean more towards thinking that he’s been burned after becoming a resident in Eridia.

There's nothing that strikes me as peculiar regarding his relationships with the other characters,with two exceptions. Kuras' self-inflicted exile is centuries old, and combined with the fact that he (occasionally and begrudgingly?) works with the Senobium, it might be plenty of reason for Vere to hate him. I think that Kuras might've witnessed how he came to be captured (or actively took part in it), and that event is what feeds his mistrust towards Vere. Secondly, it’s said that he “looks forward to Ais helping around his clinic”: does Ais use the Seaspring’s healing powers on some patients (“I help him in the clinic sometimes”)? I wonder if the smokey scent when the MC wakes in Kuras’ clinic was because he’d been there recently.

He lives in one of the more populated areas, probably because 1) more easy for patients to reach him and 2) he likes meeting people.

The flowers in his pin design look like magnolias, symbolizing longevity, grace, divinity (I also found: eternity, perseverance, purity). The elegant magnolia’s therapeutic properties are vital in such a dangerous world. The Senobium cultivates a small magnolia grove, though few make it past the imposing gates to enjoy the rejuvenating blossoms… Of course the medicinal aspect reflects Kuras well. And there’s the connection to him being employed in some form by the Senobium too, the gates could definitely be a metaphor for how he keeps the true extent of his powers at bay

Ais

Ais' silhouette [1, 2] in the animated trailer [screenshot] highlights his tattoo (Ocudeus' tentacles) and his eyes (the Groupmind's effect).

If MC’s been talking defiantly to him throughout the demo, the red choice connected to Ais also consists of rebelling to him, which he clearly enjoys (he’s said to dislike easy fights, so that’s probably it).

An Unnamed MC will note that Ocudeus’s presence/calling in the Seaspring feels familiar, and that his tattoo feels unnatural and it seems to move when they’re not looking... I’ll say that the tattoo isn’t a regular one, and might be the physical manifestation of the metaphorical mark that the bond with Ocudeus left on Ais. This also explains why in the silhouette of his monstrous form the tentacle tattoo is extended beyond what it normally looks like (it reaches his face, and over half of his chest).

The very prominent eye theme (charm and sticker design, Ocudeus possibly meaning “eye god” if it’s latin) and feeling of being watched (+“Got eyes in the back of my head”), plus the fact that the red-eyed woman knew what MC was seeking as well as their name, makes me believe that Ocudeus' area of influence is very extensive. As a consequence of the Groupmind, it's likely that apart from sharing thoughts (and identity?) those connected also share what they see to Ocudeus/Ais.

The notes left on the pillars are interesting. The topmost and middle one I feel are more useful to the player and serve as casual worldbuilding, but the bottommost one is the most curious imo: decoding the scrawling results in “never wish on a shooting star he's always listening”. Initially I thought that the “he” referred to Ocudeus, but it doesn't feel correct (Ocudeus always watches, it doesn't listen).

During the 16/04/23 Q&A stream with the devs (timestamp: 36:32), Ais was said to be the first character that they created, and the rest of the cast was built around him for cohesiveness. This is interesting to me, as from the demo I thought that “central” role would fit Leander more.

Speaking of Leander, both of them have a like/dislike relationship with each other (Leander because “the assassination attempts are funny, until they’re not” and Ais because he “won’t hesitate to put Leander in his place when the time comes”). Leander seems to be uncomfortable about the effects that the Seaspring has on people, while Ais talks about “a time where Leander's resolve will be tested, same for anyone in this plane or the next”... I wonder how soon that time is going to be 👀. I already noted this in Leander’s section but I think they also slept together at one point or another.

Same topic, different character: Vere. It’s cute that they’re so fond of each other [1, 2], and I’m very curious to know how they met. They probably bonded because of compatible personalities, but I also think that they like each other because they’re both dangerous, and being with someone who is also as dangerous feels... Fitting, safe, maybe?

The fact that he's “not as in control of his powers as he thought” is also interesting to me, since his nonchalance doesn't seem to be because he's lazy but because he's extremely confident. Perhaps he got too sure of himself and lost sight of the risks?

Ais is described as “renegade”, which by definition is someone who betrays a principle/alliance. I have no doubt that this is connected to the reason why he's a “gang leader without the gang members”, and probably to how he came to bond with Ocudeus. Because he's also said to dislike isolation, I lean more towards saying that he didn't willingly let his (former?) members go, my theory is either they left on their own (perhaps they were scared of Ocudeus, or they didn't approve of it) or he accidentally disposed of them (either because he wasn't in control of Ocudeus / the Soulless, or because Ocudeus felt hungry and they were conveniently nearby). Either way, it must have hurt him, since he's not at all willing to talk about it beyond “Gang took a walk”.

I’m very curious about Mhin saying “Monsters like [Ais] don't know or care about what they have”... What does (did?) Ais have? Could it be in reference to him letting his former gang/companions go away in favor of siding with Ocudeus and/or the Seaspring?

He lives at the Seaspring, though I wonder if he sleeps in a pile near those cushions, cuddling the Soulless, or if he has more personal quarters further in. There's a cave entrance visible on the other side of the bloody water, but that feels more for Ocudeus rather than Ais himself.

The flowers in his pin design are spider lilies, symbolizing mourning, goodbyes, lost memories (I also found: death, abandonment, new beginnings). Eerily beautiful, red spider lilies bear the sorrow of loss and farewells. Eridians believe these flowers shepherd lost spirits into the afterlife. The city has seen a sudden increase in these unearthly flowers, leaving many puzzled about their meaning… Very fitting with Ocudeus’ domain of losing memories and thus, beginning a new life! I’m not sure if we should be taking the increase in flowers literally, or just metaphorically as there’s many in the Groupmind

Vere

Vere's silhouette [1, 2] in the animated trailer [screenshot] highlights the eyes again (“windows to the soul” and all that), his fangs (him being the most openly aggressive) and the collar and chains (the thing that binds him to the Senobium's will).

I haven’t been able to not get his red choice [edit: “hidden ending”, not a red choice], but from my understanding of what others have said it’s based on how you talk to him and not on your actions. I’d love to say more but since I don’t know exactly influences it, I don’t have much to talk about regarding that🥹

“Not quite human, not quite monster. Seems we’re both--” I wonder if he was about to finish the sentence with ‘cursed’?

 He has unique dialogue for each of MC’s backstories: to an Alchemist he says “The misery born of your mistreatment haunts you. I understand what it’s like to be used and thrown away. I’ll give your life new meaning”; to an Unnamed “You poor thing, misled by those you trusted most. You caused so much suffering unknowingly. I know that pain. I can help you forget it all”; to a Hound “The betrayal, the loss of hope, the sheer desperation that drives you still to search and search to no end. I could give you something new to live for”. Apart from showing that he knows stuff he’s not supposed to, I’m more interested about what he says to Alchemist and Hound: he knows the pain of causing suffering unknowingly, and he knows what it’s like to be used and then discarded. His powers seems to be seeing through people, I’d say almost mind-reading (“You can’t hide anything from me.”), but I think soul reading is a more fitting definition. I feel that all of the comments related to MC's backstory have more to do with what they experienced/felt than just objective facts, plus the way he says “All that suffering has made your soul so irresistibile...”, it makes me think that he's reading MC’S present and past emotions through their soul.

The most apparent part of his design is that he’s half showing, half hiding. His outfit makes the harness very visible, yet he hid the leash from the MC for as long as possible, and he didn't let them close enough to touch it. His pants are fully cover one side and show skin on the other. The sheer fabrics look very cool on their own but I like to think they're also part of the "half show, half hide" thing he has going on. An Alchemist MC will note that the collar seems to be enchanted, while other backstories will simply say that the lock seems easy enough to open.

In the charms and stickers design, there's his chain in the background, and it's broken. Metaphorically and literally, “breaking free from the chains” symbolizes putting an end to what holds someone captive, but also finding freedom to be oneself. Perhaps I'm reading too much into it, but I think a freed Vere would also feel free to not hide so much of himself. On that note, I'm extremely curious about what he draws on his sketchbook. Also in the charm and stickers design, as well as in the Nintendo Switch port art, is the key that he stole from the MC. It's curious that they included it instead of a more personal object like his sketchbook (present in the Switch port art but not in the stickers), but it might just be a fun nod to the demo or maybe he'll develop a habit of stealing the key again in the full game, so I don't think I should read too much into that.

Neither Vere or Kuras of them gives too many juicy details about their mutual hate towards each other during the demo, but from the additional info [1, 2] published on Tumblr, I think it might have to do with the fact that both of them have been confined in Eridia for centuries, and perhaps Kuras even contributed to the capture of Vere, too.

He’s defined as a “charlatan”, which by definition means “someone who decieves through false claims”. It fits with him saying “If I were you, I wouldn’t trust a word I say” and “Information is a luxury [...] If you valued my words you'd have taken them seriously”. This feels like a recurring theme for Vere: Ais also says, “Vere is one of the most honest people you'll meet. Just don't listen to a single thing he says”. Despite the very obvious predatory/mischievous nature of Vere, I think that he is very honest about the things he says: it’s about reading between the lines.

His very evident distaste towards Leander might be connected to this, seeing that Leander seems to be hiding a lot.

Vere clearly likes Ais, but as soon as MC asks more, he warns them about how dangerous he and the Seaspring are. I think both are true: Ais being “a good person” doesn’t exclude the fact that he is dangerous.

It could be a stretch, but I wonder if Vere lives/stays in the building that he was chained to?

The flowers in his pin design look like some type of lilies, perhaps wood lily are a type of amaryllis that symbolizes passion, allure, pride ( when researching the wood lilies, I also found: danger, determination). Local legends conflict on the origins of the amaryllis. Whether they sprang from the spilt blood of a scorned lover or were born of an ancient Senobian ritual gone awry, the truth behind these flowers is knowledge long forgotten… or held by a privileged few. Like Kuras, his flower mirrors the connection to the Senobium though it remains vague about how exactly they became involved... In the greek myth, Amaryllis consulted an oracle to win the love of the shepherd Alteo: she walked to his house every day, piercing her heart with a golden arrow, and on the 30th day flowers bloomed from her blood. Alteo became enamoured with the maiden and the flowers that bore her name... I wonder how Touchstarved’s version of the myth is different than ours, and which character Vere is more akin to?

Nothing on Sen or Elyon for now since there's too little info on both, but I'm looking forward to putting them under a microscope too 👀

(bangs pots and pans) please share your theories/thoughts if you read this far? 👉👈

[askblueandviolet]

Ask Box is opened!!!

Gee, look at these two. You could almost assume that they are a happy couple. Shame it's very far from that though LMAO. These two are still disasters but hey they haven't killed each other yet so many they still stand a chance to make things better. Things have actually, already got better.

I have decided to do the same thing I did last week, but I strive to keep it open for 24hrs this time, because since there will be no chapter next week I have no deadline! HORRAY!!! So ask whatever you want, I'll close the box tomorrow.

I will say now though that this will be the last time I open the box until the new fic is out! Because, erm, I need a break XDDDDD. I mean it MIGHT open again depending on how I'm feeling in the future but for now, this is the plan :)))). So get in those asks, this is your only chance XDDDD. Thanks for everything guys, and as always, have fun!

Update: Ask Box is closed! I will start answering them tomorrow :))))

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