#im just writing this fic for fun & since I’m editing it a bit

[myokk]

before it felt like a sin, ch. 1

pairing: Sebastian Sallow x f!MC

word count: 3000

summary: Eloise never wanted to be different.

And yet, her differences are what have defined her life up until this point: growing up as a squib in one of the most prominent wizarding families, being exiled to muggle society, and then attending Hogwarts at the age of sixteen.

She finds herself thrust into the life she should have been prepared for from birth but was denied. As she navigates this new life and her new precarious position in her family, she must come to terms with the fact that maybe what she dreamed of her whole life isn't turning out how she ever expected it would.

a/n: Hi everyone!! I decided to post this here too...I'm slowly going through everything I've written so far, and I want to post each chapter here as I edit them. I'm hoping that this can be a way to a) get back in to writing more, and b) get better at my art as I make full illustrations for each chapter. Let me know what you think!! :)

There is nothing quite as horrible as being a muggle, Eloise thought savagely as she ripped out yet another stitch in the landscape she was embroidering. At least, it was supposed to be a landscape. Maybe with her head tilted to the left and with her eyes almost closed so everything blurred together, it might resemble one. She did just that, trying her hardest to make out some recognizable shape and blast the stupid practice of manually pushing colored thread through a fabric in some sort of -

“And what is this, Miss Babbit?”

Eloise jumped at the sound and looked up at the scowling face of her teacher, and then quickly back down at the tangled thread in her lap. Behind her, she could hear the hushed giggles of the other girls in her class.

“Oh! Er…it’s -”

“How long have you been here?” the woman interrupted.

“One hour…I just -”

“Don’t be smart with me. I mean, at this institute.”

“Five years.” Eloise glared down at her embroidery as if it had personally offended her. It wasn’t like she was actively trying to be bad at everything, but she had the distinct disadvantage - how had it ever come to be that she would be at a disadvantage to muggles? - of not having spent a lifetime being prepared for muggle society and all that it entailed. The last five years had been a monotonous, endless cycle of lessons designed to turn her into the perfect lady: French (a waste of time as Eloise was already fluent), embroidery (a waste of time as the things she embroidered weren’t actually useful), dancing (a waste of time as she was already engaged to be married - why would she bother trying to woo another silly man?), and her most dreaded class of all: etiquette. No matter how many years had been spent trying to assimilate into muggle culture, her thoughts still got muddled when she tried to remember the steps to a dance, or how to properly address the son of a duke.

Did it really matter, anyways, what the other girls thought? She had pretended her whole life to be the daughter she thought her parents had wanted - now she was simply pretending that she hadn’t been thrown into the muggle world without a second thought. What was a bit more pretending - that she didn’t care? That she hadn’t been tossed aside without a second thought?

“Exactly. Five years. And yet, you have shown no progress whatsoever. This -” a finger jabbed accusingly at the embroidery - “is absolutely horrendous. If your parents hadn’t continued to make such a sizeable donation every year, I would have deemed you a lost cause and sent you packing when you first arrived. How your family ever managed your betrothal to the son of an earl is beyond me.”

Eloise grimaced at the mention of her fiance as her teacher clapped her hands together to get the attention of the class - a wholly unnecessary action due to the fact that it was already being given. “Class is dismissed. Please collect your belongings and put them in the correct place. Remember, as future wives and mothers, you must be organized in all aspects of your life. Many of you will be managing important households and the slightest misstep -“ a slight glance to Eloise out of the corner of her eye - “can cause the biggest of scandals.”

Eloise raced to gather her things and leave the classroom before everyone else. No matter how many years had been spent at the school, she couldn’t help but hate sitting through the classes amongst the judgmental stares and snide remarks. Although things had started out shaky at the finishing school - to be expected, really, when you’ve grown up in wizarding society and then are then forced to live as a muggle - it still stung that after all these years, she still hadn’t found a friendly face. She was treated as if she were a pariah: it was as if the other girls just knew that something was different about her. But…wasn’t that the great irony of it all? She wasn’t different than them. She was a filthy squib.

When she first arrived at the school, she was an anomaly. A twelve-year-old girl who didn’t know how to play the piano or who the queen was. It was clear to everyone that Eloise wasn’t the charity case of the school - her parents were obviously quite wealthy - and yet they seemingly wanted nothing to do with her. Whereas the others got regular letters and visits from their family, it was as if Eloise were an orphan. Nothing new to her of course, but to her peers this otherness aided them in her ostracization.

Upon entering her room, she was abruptly pulled out of her thoughts. Something wasn’t right. Everything seemed the same: a twin bed perfectly made opposite a small wardrobe, a plain wooden desk placed between them. The weak afternoon sunlight shone through the window, illuminating her desk. But…there.

That…

Placed on her bed, resting on the pillow, was a letter.

She never received letters.

Eloise shoved her embroidery under her bed and hungrily grabbed at it, pausing when she saw the address. Miss E. Babbit. The Third Bedroom on the Left… It seemed vaguely familiar to her in a way she couldn’t quite put her finger on.

As she read the letter, though, it became apparent to her exactly why this was. Although not exactly the same as the one her brother had received six years earlier, it quickly became apparent that this was a Hogwarts letter. For her. For Miss E. Babbit.

Hands shaking, she set the letter down on her desk and sat on the edge of her bed. She smoothed her hands over her skirt over and over, taking comfort in the familiar softness as she tried to even her breathing.

How was this possible? She had all but accepted the fact that she was a squib. The shame of her family, a dirty secret to be hidden away and never talked about or mentioned again. Her parents had suspected as much by the time she had turned seven without any signs of magic whatsoever manifesting around her - not even a basic transformation of brussel sprouts to sweets during dinner. It was ultimately confirmed, however, when her own Hogwarts acceptance letter never arrived. She had spent the whole year before her banishment daydreaming about her life at Hogwarts, still optimistic that there could be something magical inside of her. Her brother, Leo, came home every holiday with wonderful stories of his new friends and teachers, and the subjects he was learning at school. Even back then, at twelve years old, Eloise hadn’t been sure if he was actually hopeful she wasn’t a squib, or if he had been trying to prolong the fantasy for her before it all came crashing down.

Although she had had five years to come to terms with her new life, there was still a small part of her that hoped. A small “what if…”. She had tried time and time again to squash that tiny ray of optimism that would escape every so often, tried so very hard to cultivate a hard exterior that wouldn’t let any sort of vulnerability shine through. And that optimism was a vulnerability, after all. It was that vulnerability that had made it absolutely impossible for her to fit in the muggle world, and made it so that she didn’t really want to try.

Five years to come to terms with the fact that she needed a new purpose for her life and…

…not anymore?

Eloise grabbed the letter and greedily read through it again, drinking in all of the words. She paused at the end, thinking. Was this a forgery? Some sort of awful joke orchestrated by her brother? Leo had never been cruel to her in the past; in fact, he was the one who always encouraged her and was the most probable source of the small optimism that remained within her. However, she had no way of knowing how he had changed since she had last seen him. It had been, after all, five very long years. And not once had she heard from him, even though he had promised her through huge sobbing gulps that he would never abandon her. Maybe their parents had slowly poisoned him against her. It would be right on the nose for them, after all.

Looking at the envelope again, however…Third Bedroom on the Left…no. It was too specific. Nobody in her previous life had any reason to even want to contact her again, and nobody in her current life even knew what Hogwarts was, let alone have the ability to convincingly forge a letter just to have some fun at her expense.

A light, bubbly feeling began to spread throughout her body as it sunk in that this was real. She was going to Hogwarts. Soon, a - squinting at the letter again - a Professor Fig would be contacting her and giving her things to study. A huge grin slowly spread across her face and she hugged the letter to her chest as she fell back on her bed. She read through it again. Was it the fifth time already? It felt as though no amount of times rereading the letter would ever be enough.

Eloise got up and walked over to look at the calendar on her desk. She was surprised to see that September 1st was in only two days. The days at the finishing school moved in such a strange, sluggish way. They all felt the same. Monotonous. French and Latin and embroidery and household management and Merlin even knows what else all blending into each other in an endless parade of dusty classrooms and gossip and boredom.

The light feeling left her in an instant as, after years of practice, the optimism was squashed back down. But how will you even get to London? And, her brain added sneakily, you haven’t even shown any signs of magic. Maybe you’ll just be returned back here after they realize their mistake.

No, she thought fiercely, gripping the letter. Until -

A tapping came from the window. A tentative smile returned at the sight of a tawny brown owl with another envelope in its beak. She ripped it open as soon as it was in her hands (again addressed to Miss E. Babbit) and along with the letter a small, purple pouch fell out of the envelope and onto her bed.

Miss Eloise Babbit,

I am pleased to be the wizard charged with such an important task as escorting you to Hogwarts in two days’ time. It is something extraordinary to be accepted in your fifth-year, and as such, I expect extraordinary things from you. I have enclosed a small pouch along with this envelope, and in it are some items that will be vital to you in the upcoming days. I have included books for you to study at your leisure, and a small gobstone that will bring you to our rendezvous point in London. All you have to do is touch it at noon on the 1st and you will be transported instantly.

Your family has not been informed of your acceptance. I am sure you understand why - at this, Eloise scoffed quietly to herself - which is why I will personally be your escort.

I am looking forward to meeting you and bringing you to the sorting ceremony in two days’ time.

Yours,

Eleazar Fig

The handwriting was tiny and spidery and cramped, but it didn’t stop Eloise from reading it with the same vigor as the previous letter and as many times. Finally, she turned to the small pouch that had fallen onto her bed when she opened the second envelope. It must have had an invisible extension charm, because it was filled to the brim with books on basic spellwork and general wizarding history. Professor Fig had no way of knowing, but Eloise had already read many of these books and many more during the year her brother had started Hogwarts, as she had needed to know absolutely everything about what would be awaiting her. A few years may have passed since she had stepped foot in her family’s library, but she couldn’t get the books or their contents out of her brain even if she had wanted to. She had really wanted to forget everything she knew about the magical world when it was confirmed she was a squib but it was a futile effort. As she zoned out during her piano lessons, she would find herself mentally going through the movements to cast different charms.

It was painful to be thinking about things from the life that had been ripped away from her, to know that what she was thinking about would never come to pass, that she would never be able to wield magic - and yet she couldn’t find herself able to stop.

As Eloise picked out one of the books and settled into her armchair, a steely resolve overcame her.

She would prove that she deserved to be there, and was just as capable as any of they were. She would make her parents regret ever discarding her like she was nothing.

She was worthy. She was capable. And she would prove it.

The morning of September 1st dawned cold and rainy. Absolutely perfect.

Eloise had pretended to be sick the night before, and no one had suspected a thing when she stayed in bed long after all of the other girls had gotten ready and headed to breakfast. As the last of the chattering faded away down the hallway, Eloise finally got out of bed and prepared herself for the day. It was difficult to sit still long enough to braid her hair. Her fingers wouldn’t stop trembling and she had to restart countless times. Finally, she tied the black ribbon at the end into a neat bow and turned to the drawer of her desk to retrieve the small purple pouch she had hidden away.

Everything she deemed important enough to come along with her had already been placed inside: the books from Professor Fig, the hair ribbons gifted to her by her brother many years ago, and some clothing. Nothing else was coming with. She needed the fresh start. Besides, anything else she might need would be supplied, as her acceptance letter had specifically stated that any school supplies would be provided to her.

Waiting the hours before noon came along proved to be more difficult than Eloise had imagined. Time seemed to be moving slower than the molasses that had come with the breakfast sent up to her, the steady patter of the rain becoming a sort of metronome keeping time as she paced back and forth. Wasn’t there anything that could distract her, even for a bit? She glanced at the clock. Only five minutes had passed since the last time. 10.35.

The second hand ticking away in tandem with the sound of rain splashing against her window.

What if this was all a trick? What if she arrived at Hogwarts, and they turned her away because they realized they had made a mistake? After all, why would they admit a sixteen-year-old? Surely she was too old; every other student had started Hogwarts at the age of twelve and had shown signs of magic much earlier than that. She still hadn’t shown any signs of magical capability whatsoever, and didn’t feel any different than she had before receiving the letter. It had to be a fluke.

As her thoughts started veering into the melancholy she was prone to, she shook her head. No. Today was a happy, exciting day. She wasn’t going to squash the optimism down today, not when she needed it most. All of these thoughts she was having were simply that: thoughts. Not reality. Hogwarts never made a mistake, and in all of the history books she had read, she couldn’t recall an instance of someone being turned away at the door. Granted, she had also never heard of someone being admitted so late. But, better to focus on what she did know, which was that she had gotten the letter. It must be right in its assumption that she had magic.

Trying to pass the time was easier said than done. She ended up quizzing herself on all of the charms she had memorized in the books sent by Professor Fig, moving an imaginary wand in the precise movements needed to successfully cast and focusing on her pronunciation. She had studied all of these forms late into both nights she had had the books, and when she would eventually close her eyes to sleep, the wand movements were all she saw.

Eloise was determined that she would receive pity from nobody. Nobody was going to look at her like she was lacking. She had gotten enough of that to last a lifetime, and now that she was given this opportunity she wasn’t about to waste it.

When noon finally struck, Eloise was ready and waiting. She eagerly grabbed the gobstone that was sitting on her desk and felt the familiar tugging sensation in her navel as she was whisked away to London and the beginning of her new life.

next chapter

[crazylittlejester]

A warriors…meets…cia again fic???

hold up lemme just—-

😎

😳🕶️🤏

he is only ten years old jes. Devastating. (*adds it to my future a03 bedtime stories to-read later*)

it was like a four word prompt sent in by an anon that’s grown into a huge multi chapter thing because I didn’t expect it to get as long as it has and now I’m realizing I have to break it up into chapters 😭 I’ve literally been working on it for like… five months, poor Mandarin Wars Anon has had to deal with my dumb ass getting too carried away with things and I’m so grateful for their patience 😭 It’s been scrapped and completely rewritten at MINIMUM like six times now, the plot has been COMPLETELY changed, it’s been a wild ride 😭 I’m sticking it in my ‘You’re A Part Of Me’ series which has been a bit fun because i get to drag little elements from past fics in that series into this one. small enough things that someone who hasn’t read the series won’t feel like theyre missing something but people who HAVE might recognize the reference

the plot has sort of turned into a murder mystery almost… im losing my mind, genuinely, i’ve put so much time into this fic

it’s also something i’ve been struggling with the rating on for months, because while I do not write explicit things (because that is my personal preference), the themes are a bit heavy, and because of that I decided I’ll be raising the rating to M. Which has also just allowed me to add in other things unrelated to the initial reason I was worrying over the rating and not worry about thinking “is this too violent-“. A while ago I considered writing two versions of the fic because I know a lot of people who’d been following me back when I got that prompt in the first place were really really excited about it, but that’s a lot of editing and I’m not sure how many people are still that into it 😭 So i’ll probably do a poll or make a post or SOMETHING to see if people would want a T rated version, if enough people do I’ll edit the fic

to be so so clear tho: the main reason this fic is going to be rated M is because of heavy themes, heavy discussions, and trauma related to a past event, i just wanted to play it safe. since deciding i was going to rate it higher, ive allowed myself to throw in more detailed descriptions of violence and nightmares and shit like that. and the main part of the fic that made me first think i should bump the rating up is going to have like *** in the text before and after it so people can just skip that if they want, cos if I’m gonna write a fic about trauma, then i’m gonna write a fic about trauma. and this is my free therapy so 🕺🕺🕺

anyways, i don’t wanna say it because i feel like then it’s just not gonna happen, but I’m hoping and PRAYING i can post the first chapter when Mandarin Wars Anon gets back 😭 fingers fuckin crossed. AND THE FIC ACTUALLY HAS A NAME NOW, WHICH IS FUCKING CRAZY AFTER FIVE MONTHS OF JUST CALLING IT “Mandarin Wars Anon’s Fic”

also i’ve been debating letting Time just go absolutely batshit towards the end of this fic because he kinda deserves it, as a little treat, yknow?

i really hope it lives up to the expectations🧍‍♂️ ive felt a lot of pressure while working on this cos so many people have gotten excited for it and im a BIT worried its just going to absolutely suck, so if i drop it and disappear off the face of the earth for a bit its because the anxiety ate me alive

[claudiajcregg]

Tell Other People About Your WIPs

make a list of all your WIPs with a brief description of each and then people can ask you questions about them and then tag other people.

Tagged by both @onekisstotakewithme and @miabicicletta 💜💜💜 Thank you, guys <3 I don't know who to tag that hasn't been tagged already. Interested? Tag, you're it! :) (Please do know that there are no set sections. Pick whatever you want. I went the deranged route.)

I have an outdated WIP list, and many others unaccounted for. This is just a selection of stuff I could see myself posting or editing/retooling to write something new. I love talking about my WIPs, about as much as I hate being perceived because they are not remotely interesting. (I also love knowing which ones people are interested in! I have an incentive to work on them!) (Instead of snippets, part of my feedback loop is sending actual rough drafts to get a sense of whether it's worth working on more.)

Multichapters, different levels of completion.

S5 Pregnancy AU. My main WIP. Can you believe I’ve had this idea for a year… almost to the day? I’ve been stuck since November bc I don’t know how I want this one to end, beyond a birth. (As I’ve mentioned in the past, I feel like this has legs to become a fluffy universe. I have ideas! Timelines!) Gist of it: CJ gets pregnant circa Zooey's kidnapping. How does it change S5? It's less angsty than you think.

Campaign bars, aka campaign conversations sometimes happened at bars in the 1998 campaign. Fun stuff. I need to pick it right back.

What Once Was Ours or the IM AU (2021), aka IM ends with a breakup. Not a WIP. Not a UFO. A secret third thing. (“Finished” but not edited, and I’m doubtful people would be interested. Probably bc of some bittersweet ~memories~ attached to it. I mean, I shared a third of it to discord and people couldn’t care less, at least after a while. Now, better IM AUs are being posted these days; I'm not in a rush.) 33 chapters. 150k words. I do reread it every once in a while, and I cannot put it down. But its 'age' takes me aback. If things had been different, I'd have posted this in H2 2021/Q1 2022 (or even the planned Q2-3 2021). But alas.

The “Almost Ready, question mark” Category

Another SVD prompt meme claim: what if CJ has the crush first. The thing is, I tend to write her as having a relatively obvious crush on him at first until something makes her wise up. So this is just some ridiculous, post-first-meeting thoughts. Most of it was written in one sitting! It kinda fits with something in the campaign bars fic, too.

Post birth, hospital story: A couple of hours after their bb girl is born. Pure fluff. Recently reworked it to make it less wordy. Still failed, but it’s better focused now.

Many ficlets – the few I did post on Tumblr that haven’t been posted to the story I’m collecting them in, plus a couple more. I'm thinking the ice skating one, Jan 22, a few post-eps I wrote last year, etc.

Ambitious Projects I don't think are happening right away (or ever), but probably have a detailed outline somewhere

(I put this up instead of last, because the next category has faves, but it's also a long one.)

Danny is back a bit earlier on s7. Toby leaks (or tries to leak? I always wavered) the shuttle to him, as he and CJ are getting closer.

Simon lives. How does his relationship with CJ evolve post-honeymoon phase? What is it like when Danny returns?

You’ve got mail AU. This outline had two ways the climax could go. I had fun.

Epistolary collab (?) fic. Probably an X + 1 fic. The only one with nothing written; don’t rule out writing it individually at some point.

And because this is so long already (but not as long as it could be)… A few more under the cut – more "I just want to make sure I like them" and "this meme reminded me I meant to pick those back up." And they are still not all. (How do you summarize seven years of writing?? I've only posted 20-something of them, lol.)

“Almost Ready (but I feel like I want to make changes to them) (might just redo them altogether)”

Haunted by the Notion, 2007 edition. My beta Ruth suggested this when she edited the other story, and I wrote it around then. It’s another Christmas dinner at Filomena, and, eight years later, things are different. I feel like it hits expected beats, and is just missing some oomph. Maybe. (As much as I do like it, half tempted to make it 2009. Or later.)

Heaven’s here…: A interrupted proposal. I’ve written many proposals over the years, and I love toying with different ideas and setups. Danny takes the lead here, but I’ve been intrigued by the idea of having CJ do the final twist.

5 to 6 am 'me' time. Another story inspired by last year’s rewatch that I wrote right at the start of it (so Jan 2023?). It has five short parts with five different years of what CJ describes in the pilot as her “me time.” This is one when I think one per year would be fun, but I don’t want to repeat myself.

One bed, “sexy” edition. An AU to a sort of AU (one of the drabbles from this summer) and… it's what it says on the tin. The world does not need to read my attempts at smut. If I didn’t put it in the previous category, it’s because I am not sure that I want to post it. (All the previous attempts are locked somewhere; unfortunately, someone loves this one and noticed when I tried to do that, lol.)

First baby kick: I remember writing this while in grad school (so, late 2017? First half of 2018) but I lost it, along other fic, when my laptop had to be reset because I used Bear to write back then, but didn’t have sync across devices. I rewrote it, and I feel like it's not the same, but still. It's sweet! Includes: Danny talking to the baby, domestic fluff, and… baby kicks!

“This meme reminded me they exist and I love them, so don't be surprised if they are posted before anything in a previous category”

(Lbr, if I added something about them in this post at all, it’s because they sparked some memory.)

Mosaic broken hearts: CJ, circa S4, jealousy. Prompted by a former fandom friend, back in my productive era (first half of 2021; before that friend just ghosted me.)

I can’t believe I captured your heart (pancake breakfast, three words and eight letters). For a while there, I edited it so much but then I fell off. iirc, it was part of some morning-related prompts I saw around that I tried to fulfill in 2018? 2019? And they had like internal progression. But this one was the best of the 3-4, and I kept tweaking it.

Green light of forgiveness (IM-ish) — there are many other IM/IM-Tomorrow snippets I’ve written over the years. I’m not sure if this one makes much sense, but I liked it enough.

Distance — I recall liking this one! Might have to bump it up. CJ is in Africa, Danny is at the Farm and sulking because they left off on some sort of argument. There is some Danny-Abbey friendship goodness here. I even have a second file that is “Distance - shorter version (it’s not)”

Danny writes fiction, shows it to CJ during her pregnancy and she’s into it. Technically written. I would probably try to take another stab at it. Third time might be the charm?

San Andreo phone call/fallout from ID. I just had the idea of CJ reaching out once things calm down. This is one of those fics I’ve written a version of every year or so, but I think there was one I liked quite a bit.

Terrible taste in men — a run-in with an OC ex of CJ. It was so dumb.

Fka Impatience - actually beta’d three years ago (by that fandom friend I've mentioned twice before… actually, three times) and “done”. I just think I’d change so much about it these days. It started being something else but ended up being a CJ-Toby friendship story in which they have lunch and catch up. But I would want to rewrite most of it now, and not just because it’s from like… 2019 (but finished in 2021).

I forgot this one initially! he's passing by, rare as the comet in my sky - 2? 3? times CJ thinks she sees Danny somewhere, and one time she does. (Which tried to work in the 'I remember shunning you' line.) I even wrote some sort of sequel later! Probably useless.

I said I would post a lightning round with fics that are either also done but not ready for me to mention them, or just… not done at all. The length of this post and how much I've spent on it is embarrassing. To give a general overview: in line with the nonsense I've been mentioning, includes phone calls at the end of S7, also a few friendship-focused fics around that time, too; present-day stuff; anniversaries; Hollis fundraisers; weddings; many ficlets, introspective thoughts, a “yes day” fic that's super sweet but needs better dares, the third memoir idea (the original one!!!!) that I had three years ago… And those are mostly the ones I had preselected, lol.

If you're interested, I can screenshoot this part in the notes app if you message me!

Anyway, this is embarrassing, and the worst part is that it's not all. fml.

[clear-what-i-was-seeing]

Get to know me 

tagged by the wonderful and amazing @petrowriting!! thank you <3

Share your wallpaper: 

This one’s my home screen, I took a photo of a cabbage when I was like 12 years old and did something to invert the colours and have had it ever since lmao. My lockscreen is this fanart of Will Graham because it’s amazing and gorgeous and I’m obsessed with it

The last song you listened to: Through Me (The Flood) also by Hozier alksdaslkdhf. i’ve been obsessing so much it’s such a good song. i have maybe described listening to this song as a religious experience too many times for someone who has never had an actual literal religious experience 

Currently reading: 100 pages into the Red Dragon book and it is a trip lmfao. it’s so fun seeing the ways the dialogue was repurposed, and the prose is wow, but ohhh boy. thomas harris. babe. get help<3

Last movie: Jane Austen Book Club! i love grigg very much despite his stupid name. gonna start alternating between hugh dancy and mads’s movies bc I’ve been doing that accidentally I think lmao. Last three movies I did went like Confessions of a Shopaholic -> Charlie Countryman -> Jane Austen Book Club. but on the other hand I deeply need to watch like four hugh dancy movies as soon as possible for emotional reasons 

Craving: For it to be like a week from now so I’m healed from my wisdom teeth surgery. also to have no work or responsibilities for a month and just be able to write and read hannigram fics aslkdf. 

What are you wearing right now: this is my first time not being in pyjamas since getting the aforementioned wisdom teeth out lmfao. black pants and dark blue t-shirt

How tall are you: 5’3 </3

Piercings: love the aesthetic yet terrified of getting it done and also them catching on things. I got these clip-on gothic glow-in-the-dark dragon earrings a bit ago from a targeted instagram ad (my first and last time ever doing so) because I have zero impulse control, and they broke immediately. 

Tattoos: none, but have been microwave-spinning the concept of getting a hannibal tattoo since I watched. the heart from primavera would be so cool

Glasses? Contacts?: Glasses, my eyesight is deeply blurry without them

Last drink: classic water, big big fan of the stuff. reminds me of nbc hannibal because because there was water in the show a lot

Last show: watched two episodes of The Last of Us at like 5am yesterday, it was great. also perpetually rewatching hannibal by getting everyone I know to watch, and then watching with them

Last thing you ate: soft tofu in broth. there are, not a lot of vegan post-wisdom-tooth food options (also I’m very picky lmao), so I’ve been rotating between that, vegan ice cream, mashed potatoes, and vegetable smoothie for like 3 days. 

Favorite color: ohhh this is painful, is it a cop-out to say all of them? Big big fan of purple, orange with purple, green, and blue. 

Current obsession: it’s been hannibal and nothing else for 9 months now, and im going strong

Unrelated obsession: not sure if this counts exactly but there’s a writing app where you set a timer and start typing, and if you stop typing for longer than 5 seconds it deletes everything, and it’s so cool. I’ve been calling it stream-of-consciousness writing in my head for like a year bc it’s like a personal stream-of-consciousness even though ik that is not how to use that term alksfhd. I do 3 or 5 minute sprints and store them in one document, then have a second document where I edit and refine, and for a few I’ve put them side to side and colour-coded all my changes and it’s so fun

Any pets: two cats! Miles, my grey one, is extremely sweet, and possibly too smart for his own good. My other one Chico has a very adorable snaggle-tooth, and is incredibly stupid <3. he’s very bad at knowing what direction he’s going or recognizing any parts of the world around him and I love him very much.

Do you have a crush on anyone?: only in that vague abstract way, almost without direction, catching little wisps of the concept of the feeling from scattered bits of interactions with the world around me

Favorite fictional character: im absolutely refusing to choose between hannibal and will so im listening them both and you can’t stop me

The last place you traveled: i’ve literally gone nowhere since the pandemic started </3. i’m in Canada and the furthest I’ve been is just one city to another in the same province like 1.5 hours away. Hopefully going to Italy in the summer though!!

Tagging: @stranded-labyrinth, @valentinsylve, @elvislefilm, @disaster-vampire, @sacha-da-1, @dreamed-itself-waking, @em0fagz, @cannibaltranssexual, @hisjimct, @im-urchin, @ghostforwhat, @f0undationsofd3cay, @det395, @a-pigeons-soliloquy, @mysterist, and anyone else who wants to!

zero pressure, also i’m always v forgetful with tagging so if i missed anyone sorry and ily! 

[grippingbeskar]

goodbye 2022– a love letter

okay, so i am not one for long, sappy posts. in fact i think i can count on one hand the amount of times i’ve written about personal stuff on this blog, because i wanted it to be a space for me to just escape life and write for the first time.

i just wanted to make this post to say thank-you. i think i have written that word out about 1,000 times since making this account, but it will truely never be enough to express how greatful i am to have this space, and that all of you have been so fucking welcoming and kind to me.

when i started this account nine months ago, i genuinely had no idea what it would turn into. i’d been reading fanfic for most of my life, and the last few years i’ve been obsessed with the punisher and the mandalorian (not much has changed). i’ve always been the type of person to make stories in my head, especially with how much i read, it’s almost like i can’t help it. i also have taken a very big interest in writing recently, so i thought why not have a bit of fun with it and write a few chapters of a story and see where it goes.

my first official post on this account was the first chapter of the element of surprise series, and i remember getting my first few notes, and even a comment, and i nearly jumped out of my skin. every single one since then has been so special, and i still get all giddy and excited when i see someone interacting with my stories. after that i posted my first frank castle story, looking to tomorrow. i was so insecure about it, but at that point i think i had literally 0 followers, so i had NOTHING to lose.

after a few more chapters and frank one shots i started to get a little more inspired, and that is all thanks to the lovely people who cared enough to encourage me. i would have 100% stopped writing if you all hadn’t been so welcoming and amazing, and my life trajectory has seriously changed for the better. not even exaggerating.

now i’m here nine months later. i’ve finished my first series and nearly completed my second, both of which are over 85,000 words in length, which is fucking WILD. i have also written 30ish (im counting my drafts in this lmao) stand alone fics, and did my first ever celebration, writing out a bunch of requests (which i still actually have three or four in my drafts. trust me they are coming i’m just slow pls).

i am just so so greatful to have this space where i have so many encouraging, kind people that share the same interests, and find genuine enjoyment in the shit that i write. i’ll never be able to type out in words how much it means. every time someone reads my fics, i just want them to know how much it means to me. even if you don’t interact (i’d love to reply personally if you do!) i just love that people are reading my writing. so thank you. THANK YOU.

now. i have a few ppl i wanna mention who have made this experience all the more incredible.

@everybirdfellsilent for being my first tumblr friend and my longest. you are so, so incredible, and i genuinely don’t know where i would be if i hadn’t found you on here. thank you for your constant support, editing help, beta reading, screaming about sexy fan art, obi-wan thirsting and everything in between. i appreciate you more than you know and i love u for it.

@buckymcbuckbarnes BITCH you know i love you. do i even have to SAY!!!! thank you for everything— you are such a special person to me, and i literally can’t tell u how glad i am to have found you. watch out 2023 bc we have big things COMING. and they will be cumming if you know what i mean. thank you for your incredible playlists and every single fic and tik tok you send me. i love every single one. i love you. we say it all the time and i mean it.

@tea-and-wine for all our chats, even though sometimes they are few and far between, i always appreciate your messages and kind words. i hope you make 2023 your bitch!!

@marvelswh0re for your thirsty frank and matt thoughts and all your kind words. i still think about that convo we had about how frank is receiving a bj. it’s just always in my mind. i need him to **** ** ***. sorry got off track. THANKYOU!!!

@lemon-world1 for being SO lovely, and for all the amazing words you’ve left on my frank series and everything in between. it means so so much to me. i can’t explain it. also congrats for sharing your frank fic, it was incredible and i can’t wait to see what else you have in store!

@castlesnchurches i will never be able to express how much i love reading your comments on my fics. probably one of my fave things ever. you motivate me so much just by being so lovely. thank you thank you. xx

@dinahmadanimybeloved for your amazing messages and supportive words, i hope 2023 is a good one for you xx

@hellskitchenswhore FOR GENERAL KINDNESS!!! thankyou so so much. it means the world ❤️

and to every single person who has interacted, liked or read a fic of mine/ followed along for the journey— and reading this right now!!! i’ll never be able to tell you how happy you have made me. thank you for making a pretty shitty year that much better ❤️

get ready for more fics, more series, and more SEX in 2023. YEHAW.

[simpjaes]

u broke up w mark!!💔 noo why

the way mark was the reason i found honeyateez because i was HOUNDING ao3 to find good mark fics because i banned myself from tumblr for like a year because ive had it since i was like 13💀

my obsession with on edge will never die i love that fic w my whole heart and honourable mention for the religious mark fics bc they’re so hot fml im gonna go re read them now

also i’ve been thinking ab heesung all day I BLAME YOU 🐯

😅😅 i think the majority of all of my fics are mark centered tbh, i think after a while i just kind of lost steam to keep trying to come up with fun and interesting plots, plus i got a little distanced from nct as a whole to the point that i no longer have that itch or inspiration to write for any of them, let alone mark.

i do still stan nct ofc, a bit more casually though. I also do still have a mark wip waiting to be completed (also religious/virgin mark) but at the moment i have priorities in terms of inspiration so that’s what i’m doing!

the point is, i’m done writing for nct for the time being but am more than likely to write one here or there in the future 🥹 so don’t give up on my entirely yet! i’m glad my feral love for mark helped you find me, and in turn helped you also find heeseung KDHJDNDFJ

p.s. on edge will be revamped and edited to fit a few enhypen members in the future so 👀 maybe it’ll be a nice refresher for you?

[aranarumei]

tagged by @hua-fei-hua! it’s been ages since I’ve done one of these it was kind of fun lol! sorry for the delayed answers...

1. are you named after anyone?

a couple of ppl assume my name is kiri because it’s like, referencing kirishima from bnha. i haven’t kept up with bnha properly since. honestly since the dabi reveal ch dropped so that’s… nov 5th 2020 lol. I’ve got residual feelings abt it but not much interest in actually reading it (sorry). nowadays I don’t get as much of that anymore—my name is just like. digimon dusk only lets your character have a 4 character name max so I hit various syllables together and keysmashed until it sounded good. im attached to it now.

2. when was the last time you cried?

…today lol. i cry easy when i'm frustrated.

3. do you have kids?

no. I have a Feeling this will be rather unrelatable to whoever I tag so. electing to present my own question:

3 (again). [FREE SPACE] recommend a song?

im gonna recommend Tsuru (en: Bowstring) by koyori / denbolP bc it’s great. I love this producer actually.

4. do you use sarcasm a lot?

mm I think im probably averagely sarcastic but like. I do have a habit of like. ex: someone will be like oh where’s [kiri]? when I’m literally right there and I have the immediate impulse to say, completely straightfaced, like “oh [kiri]? sorry they’ve been dead for seven years. they’ve never been in this room in your entire life.” so essentially I like doubling down on things when I think it’s funny.

5. what sports do you play/have played

i played basketball for six years!

6. what's the first thing you notice about people?

i think the first like, physical detail I pay proper Attention to is earrings. just cause I like em. apart from that it’s probably their voice and what they find funny.

7. eye color?

brown. comparatively I think it’s rather dark to the point of looking black.

8. scary movies or happy endings?

i mean I feel like this is a. false dichotomy but I really don’t have a good stomach for horror and stuff so. happy endings ig.

9. any special talents?

talents… I’ve memorized my squares up to 30-ish, so like if for example if someone says 28 I can rattle off 784. I’ve been told I have a talent for talking abt media I like but that’s also something said by my lovely friends lol.

10. where were you born?

on earth. im also electing to replace this with my own question:

10 (again). what made you make a tumblr account?

if ppl look at my blog they shall think I showed up in 2020 but I’ve actually been here since 2015. I just… deactivated my acct by accident when I meant to delete a sideblog. ok. so obviously I remade in that case. I made one back in 2015, though, because I was like, really into hxh and ran into some hxh blogs I was like. in love with. also some fairy tail fic authors I rly respected were on here. and I wanted to discuss hxh and post fic. so I joined.

11. what are your hobbies?

writing! and reading! and drawing! and playlist making. im basic. writing is probably #1 to me tho I rly enjoy it. like for all I complain about it I actually really enjoy the act of like putting down words and crafting stuff and editing. I’d actually love to beta fic more regularly. and get reallllly good at grammar (seriously if anyone has any resources on that chuck it at me) and action scenes. those r my big two dreams.

12. do you have any pets?

nope! i do have a depressing amount of wips I have not taken care of, tho…

13. how tall are you?

5’2” or about 158 cm, i haven't measured myself lately. I’ve been told my various sources that I have “tall person energy” tho. im not as good abt it nowadays but I tend to be a bit careful abt keeping my back straight. at the very least I’m pretty aware of it. I wanna say it was just cool of me to be that way bc I was into having good posture but I’m like 90% sure it was because I read skip beat and I really liked that kyoko stood that way.

14. favorite subject in school?

math by farrrr. literature is dependent on the teacher for quality imo and while I enjoyed it I was always a bit sad that we never did any creative writing. math is just very nicely methodical.

15. dream job?

honestly I don’t have one. like I’d love to publish a book some day but I don’t want it to be my Job. im pretty satisfied just doing smthing productive-feeling and where I have enough free time tbh.

no obligation to answer ofc to anyone tagged. also if you don’t want to answer any of the questions just reject them... I just provided alternates bc I felt like it. i think this is supposed to be 15 questions for 15 mutuals but i dont want to tag that many people... @icharchivist @sunnnfish @dirtbra1n @mxddyhero @heartsdash @watcher-ofthe-sky @estradasphere

[wander-wren]

Ok, here goes! I wanna preface this by saying that I've been in a serious writing rut for like the past six months, to the point where I've pretty much given up on my WIPs. It's not that I don't want to write, or that I don't have ideas, but the actual work of sitting down and getting words on the page feels like pulling my own teeth out. So I'm conducting research on writers I admire to see if I can learn anything from their processes. And so, without further ado:

How long have you been writing?

Do you start out knowing what's gonna happen in the story, like with a plot chart and everything, or does the story take shape as you go along?

Do you write in big chunks or a little bit at a time?

How many drafts do you typically do? Is your first draft usually like word vomit or something a little more polished?

Do you have a beta reader?

What's your editing process like?

Is there a certain time or place where you prefer to write?

What do you consider the hardest part of writing?

Have you ever struggled with perfectionism in your writing? Do you have any tricks for bypassing that "EVERYTHING MUST BE PERFECT" wall in your brain and just get words on the page?

That was a lot lol. Of course you don't have to answer all of them, but any insight you're willing to give will be greatly appreciated!

Thank you very much <3

woo okay let’s tackle this!! under the cut bc Long. strap in folks

How Long Have You Been Writing?

in any shape or form: since maybe 6 years old? but i started writing fanfiction at 12, started getting serious about writing in general at 15, and threw myself full tilt into fanfic at 17, so currently i haven’t written original fiction Really since june. which is a complicated answer. you didn’t specify if this is about original stuff or fic, but i’ll try to answer from both perspectives bc my process for each is wildly different.

Plotter or Pantser?

for both original fiction and longfics, i’m solidly in the middle; i usually start with a list of things i want to happen, and i always need some idea of where i’m going to end, even if it changes later. from there, i start writing the first few chapters. when i feel like i have a more solid grasp of where i’m going, i outline chapter-by-chapter through one “section” of the story, however i define that. once im done that section, i outline again. this gives me a lot more freedom to change things as i go and adapt to new decisions i make. i also add random ideas to my masterlist of stuff that i might want to include further down the line as i go.

with oneshots i never, or almost never, have a plan beyond the premise/summary, so they frequently get away from me and do all kinds of random things.

Big Chunks or Little At a Time?

i’m gonna say big chunks? i have adhd so i frequently hyperfixate on my projects and can work on them for hours and hours on end, which i don’t exactly recommend, but it happens. at any given time i have a “main” wip or two that i work on pretty much daily, and then others scattered around that i might pick up for a few hours if i get bored. but i try to finish fics as fast as possible bc if i move on there’s a 50% chance i won’t come back, at least not for months.

How Many Drafts?

for fanfic? one. every once in a while if something is REALLY not working i’ll rewrite sections, so that’s like 1.5 drafts, but it’s free labor i do for fun so while i take pride in it and want it to be good, i’m not going to expend THAT much energy, yknow?

for original stuff, like if we’re talking novels…at least three drafts? i haven’t gotten that far with most of my projects so i’m still learning about myself, but my general process seems to be that the first draft is about getting the main story beats and the emotions down. my first draft is always very heavy on the angst and catharsis, sometimes overdramatically so, bc there’s less plot to hold it up. then my second draft is more about plot and realism and structure, but i tend to lose some emotions in trying to do that. my third draft is about combining the two and continuing to polish stories/characters. i haven’t written any fourth drafts, so i’m not sure whats beyond that.

and my first drafts tend to be very polished. i wrote a little rant explaining the history of that aspect of my writing not long ago, so i won’t get into it again. part of that is just how i’ve always been, part of it is practice. i do feel sometimes that i write pretty enough to cover up structural/realism/continuity issues, which can be frustrating when looking for critique from people who can’t see past it.

Beta Reader?

yes! i have a small group of writer friends that i share things with, but that is pretty much always for cheer-betaing and minor critiques unless i ask for actual criticism, which i only do with my original stuff when i get to the second/third draft, partly bc it’s not ready before then, and partly because it’s a lot of mental work for the other people. shoutout to my main bnha betas, @rangerlexi and @spacetime-enthusiast, who are, as i said, mainly cheer betas, tho mav is also my resident bakugo expert bc he’s very hard for me to write sometimes. getting better tho!

can’t recommend finding betas enough, even if just to cheer you on. hell, i can’t make promises about super long works or original fic, but i’m always down to read fanfiction. i don’t even bite, i swear. obligatory note that you do gotta trust ppl tho yada yada thieves exist and mean people exist etc etc

Editing Process?

for fanfic: typically i reread one or two times right away while all my thought processes are fresh in my head. i’ll make spot edits and add or delete things here and there. then depending on how impatient i am, i wait a day or a few to send it to my betas and/or reread and edit again myself. then i post and i’m done!

for original works: i don’t bother to edit first drafts, or even second drafts sometimes. when it’s time to prep for a second draft, i reread and make notes on what i want to keep and what i want to change, then use those notes to make my next skeletal outline. usually my stories change drastically from one draft to the next, but the last time i did a third draft, i wanted it to be pretty close to the structure of the second, so instead of outlining at all i just did splitscreen and wrote the whole third draft while looking at the second, sometimes basically retyping a page word for word, sometimes going “well, that chapter is pointless” and skipping it entirely. when it came to line editing, i used hemingway bc i don’t trust computers to do my editing, BUT the different colored highlights were helpful to break up the monotony. hemingway is a lot more focused on concise/readable sentences and cutting adverbs than anything else, which was good for me as an overwriter. i cut 22k words the last time i used it, from a 130k draft.

Best Time or Place?

not really? i write everywhere and constantly. the advice about finding your niche of productive time never seemed to work for me because, as long as i’m not blocked/stuck, i pretty much always kind of want to write.

Hardest Part?

DEVELOPING RELATIONSHIPS OH MY GOD IT’S THE WORST. sorry. i hate. doing that. becoming friends? becoming family? falling in love? god. kill me. i love all [thing] to lovers in reading but in writing i tend to drift toward best friends to lovers bc then it’s kind of close. i love writing about people in relationships, tension and banter and softness and fights, but getting there is so awful.

Are You a Perfectionist? Tips?

hm. gonna try to answer this honestly and in the least asshole-ish sounding way possible lmao.

i’m not really a perfectionist? not in writing, anyway, idk about other stuff. but also it’s just like…i know i’m good at what i do. not perfect—i can see flaws in things i wrote even a few months ago—but good. More Than Satisfactory. sometimes fics just don’t work and i abandon them, sometimes it takes me a while to figure out what i’m doing, but i’m not generally paralyzed by the need for anything to be perfect because i’m happy where i am?

that’s a hard mindset to get to, though. and you will for sure feel good about something and then dislike it in a few months or years. that’s just the nature of improving your craft. i think if i had any tips, though, i would say a few things.

watch this video essay, the whole thing but specifically 5:39-9:20. i love cj the x and i agree with many of his takes on art, so. some of his other essays might be helpful as well but that one i know talks specifically about perfectionism.

or if you don’t want to, just have this quote that melted my brain a little when i heard it. “perfectionism is not an inherently bad impulse. but you have to earn that. you don’t get to be a perfectionist if it is unproven up to this point if you can even make a thing.”

read bad stories. like genuinely i’m such a petty spiteful person oops so. i don’t really seek them out much but reading like, really really badly written work is like “well, if that’s the bar, at least i’ve cleared it.” obviously don’t go attacking creators or posting the work to make fun of it, but read it. maybe make notes of exactly why it’s bad for yourself, even, it might help you get better at identifying problems in your own work if you can figure out why things are bad beyond just “i don’t like it.” there, that sounds less mean, right?

just post your shit, tbh. put it out there. most people on the internet, in fandoms, they’re nice, if you curate your space properly. it’s a confidence boost! put something out there that’s less-than-perfect, get a couple of kudos and realize the world didn’t implode, and maybe, maybe it’ll be easier to start/finish next time.

you kinda just gotta accept that you need practice, my dude. like. you can’t closer to perfect without work!! we know this!! just do it. i know i just said to post things but also if you hate what you made no one!! else!! has!! to!! know!! it can be a secret. it’s okay. this coming from a chronic oversharer lol i have the worst time trying not to shove my stuff at people….which, actually, kinda worked better as motivation for me, bc i couldn’t share something unfinished, so i had to Do The Thing in order to get validation/feedback/critique like i wanted. so either way, whatever works better for you.

The End

so yeah, those are my answers, i guess? i hope that makes sense and helps and everything!! i’m really sorry you’re in a rut, that’s the worst. if you have any more questions or just wanna chat about what you’re writing feel free to come say hi again!

[fallen-mist]

I posted 294 times in 2022

That's 216 more posts than 2021!

89 posts created (30%)

205 posts reblogged (70%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@araccoonthatlikesmurder

@froggy-with-a-hat

@nina-phaedra

@amaristm

@ar1-thecat

I tagged 260 of my posts in 2022

Only 12% of my posts had no tags

#not writing - 238 posts

#writing - 11 posts

#sdra2 - 11 posts

#x reader - 7 posts

#request - 6 posts

#headcannons - 6 posts

#x reader insert - 5 posts

#setsuka chiebukuro - 4 posts

#sdra2 setsuka - 4 posts

#not a request - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 128 characters

#also fic idea where reader is uta’s gf and basically fights shanks for some reason then reader says “aye i f—ked your daughter”

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

hiya! if it’s not too troublesome could you do syobai x male!reader? if your uncomfortable with a male reader you can do g/n !! ^o^ tysm !

Yay third request! :D (I couldn’t find my mist gif used in the other 2 requests :( *sadness noises*). I will also use Shobai and Syobai here since people put it differently

edit 2/11/22: I should not have taken this long to make it-

edit 3/12/22: I have forgotten this then all of a sudden gotten ideas. Im sorry :(

Context: Syobai with a male reader

+ You can interpret the relation however you want

+ Slight TW

+ Second person

Syobai/Shobai Hashimoto

Meeting

-You did not meet this man in the best way

-You probably met him in the killing game, while you were exploring

-No but the only way I can imagine you meeting him is smelling smoke from a cigarette

- 3/10 meeting imo

———

You had woken up a few hours ago, everything was spinning in your head. You were stuck on a island, and You don’t even know where!

You snapped out of your thoughts as you smelt smoke. Was something on fire?! But you followed it just incase. But instead you found a man (that looks like he sells some ”bad powder“).

You stood there, not knowing what to say (heheheh introvert) but he soon noticed you. “You want one? It’ll cost ya,” He said.

You accepted/declined

——

Cuddling

-Like most say, He smells like cigarettes

-Wait is that slight scent of blood I smell?

-If your sensitive to smells, you probably got nausea

- 2/10 smells

——

You were gathering some money knowing how Syobai/Shobai is. You have wanted to cuddle him for a bit now but you knew you had to pay up. It was perfect timing and Shobai/Syobai wasn’t busy. How rare.

”Hey sho/syo, how would it be if you were to let me hug you?,” You asked. He ended up chucking a bit, “Listen here, if you want too, pay up.”

.

See the full post

12 notes - Posted March 12, 2022

#4

Hello pal can I get Hajime with an S/O that has difficulty walking/a mobility aid? take all the time you need pal

Thanks pal! :D

also first time writing for hajime :)

Hajime M. With a s/o who has a hard time walking

+Second POV

+No pronouns used

•~•~•~•

Hajime Makunouchi

-He helps you around (a ton)

•Even if you do have a mobility aid

-You still have to eat healthy

-(If you don’t have a mobility aid) To encourage you, he’ll say “If you eat healthy, you’ll be able to walk better soon”

-(if that can happen)

-If you do or don’t have a mobility aid; he’ll bring you out on walks and stuff so you can be outside

-Will stand up for you-

-wait

-Will “protect” you from people who think your faking

-and those people who decide to make fun of you

-he feels like he shouldn’t let you work out because the weights might give you a hard time picking it up

•(I’m sorry if this is damaging to ppl by the way)

-sometimes will pick you up (with permission of course)-

17 notes - Posted April 17, 2022

#3

hi may I request Yandere! Kanade x reader Headcanons?

Thank you!

Your welcome!

also there will be spoilers but I’ll put that on the end, a warning but I can’t do two read mores so not that

also this was postponed bc I was sick

DNI WITH THIS POST IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY YANDERES OR KANADE/HIBIKI

Yandere!Kanade Otonokoji with a s/o

+Second POV

+TW

+Spoilers at the end

+Implied M*rd3r

•~•~•~•~•

Kanade

-You probably was drawn in by her sweet and shy personality

-She started to like you after you keep standing up for her

-She was confused over all of how she feels about you

-When she started getting some certain tendencies.. You were traumatized

-She took it in and pretended to comfort you knowing it’s because of her

-If her sister gets mad at you or something, it gets very confusing

-If you distanced from Kanade, she will still know your every action and move some way and somehow

*SPOILERS WARNING!!*

-Not much different from chapter 3 personality-wise -She probably was confused about you because she loved hibiki too

•(I do not support this btw)

-It would’ve been a very hard choice if she had to kill one of you.

-She’ll most likely kill you because She knew hibiki longer

-Your family is gone. Hibiki and Kanade is your family now.

-You we’re good friends with setsuka too

-You wish you weren’t

-You wish you never met them because you wouldn’t be in this scenario anymore

21 notes - Posted April 30, 2022

#2

I’m back and I’m living for your writing! May I please request Syobai and Setsuka jealousy Headcanons?

Thank you!

Your welcome and thank you for the compliments aswell :D

edit: I came back from my moms house so-

Syobai and Setsuka jealousy headcanons

+Second POV

+No pronouns used

•~•~•

Syobai/Shobai H.

-Very rarely gets jealous

-Who will he even get jealous of? You guys are probably mostly inside bc of him doing illegal stuff and all-

-Anyways, scenarios. He kinda gives the person he’s jealous of a death stare or whatever.

-and probably pull you awAy

-If it’s an ally of him then he’ll just pull you away slightly or grab your hand.

-If you’re lucky; then he just lets you be (unless they get a bit too touchy)

-if they do, don’t ask why when they go missing

~_~

Setsuka C.

-She puts a lot of trust in you for you to not cheat (not like you would tho-)

-She still gets jealous but more subtle

-She’ll join In on the conversation to make sure there isn’t anything wrong

-She holds you hand :)

-If there is something wrong, she’ll kind of attempt to move the conversation between the both of y’all

22 notes - Posted April 17, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

You have a hot singer gf and show it off to her dad

+Fem reader

•sorry my dudes, uta needs a hot gf too ok

+Uta (one piece)

+One piece film red spoilers

+Warnings: Cursing, slightly suggestive? I’m a minor so no people actually doing the deed

+Short but I don’t write one piece So NO ONE PIECE REQUESTS (this is the only exception)

•-•••••••••••••••-•

First off, you are one lucky girl. Will you be spared from the concert? Maybe if you convince her too with sweet flirts and enough kisses. Yeah, she loves you a lot but she wants you to have a special paradise too! Well, just don’t explicitly say that you don’t think this is a good idea. Because you might end up like the strawhats (besides luffy) but not with the humiliation. You’re her girlfriend! Not a pirate!

You trying to convince her is probably one of the hardest things to do..

• “Babe, can I not go into your paradise?”

• “Huh? Why?”

• “Aha.. well.”

• “Is it because my concert is not going to be fun enough?!”

• “No! I just want to.. protect you from marines!”

• “Oh y/n, you know at my concert, everyone is equal!”

• “Yes but that won’t stop me from loving you”

Something like that but when Uta is about to stab the Strawhat and luffy in the real world, you’re there. You will support your girlfriend! No matter how insane she is and subtly trying to inch her back to sanity. But thats how you met shanks.

Not a good start because of how much trauma Uta holds and tells you. So when she’s stopped, you’re kinda just staring. Yes you might be tall but 6”6 tall? No. But when your girlfriend starts making the sleeping people attack, you join in. Mainly aiming for shanks.

I mean, wasn’t he the reason for her trauma? Like he exploded Elegia and left uta while partying. She needed so many kisses and cuddles after she told you! But you didn’t expect him to be quite strong to hold like multiple people..

But yes he noticed you were awake so you decided to spill the beans.

• “I fucked your daughter”

Wwhiiiich caught him off guard. It was sudden and now he knows his daughter has a girlfriend whom she loves a lot…

So what do you do? Brag about it!

• “Yeah she’s so pretty!”

• “She’s like supperrr good at you know what”

• “I kissed her before you came here

• “She sang a song ab-“

you were interrupted by someone saying “WE GET IT!-“

26 notes - Posted November 23, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Ok first things first your Kaiser comment is really hilarious what the hell was ness thinking with that cut?????

LMAOO you’ve got this!! But honestly reading work that’s written with motivation and care is soooo much better than reading something forced so don’t sweat it too much! I sure everyone understands that writing actually takes quite a bit of effort and time and thinking and that reading your quality work will be so worth it (insert the head nod emoji here because I can’t find it fast enough) nagi vibes are so real though but trust your five shot revolver volley (or something like that name) moment coming soon

Yeahhhh idk the only conflict that really comes to mind is “aw shit I’m gonna be fired”/“im not paid enough for this shit” LMAOOO I guess that’s also the reason why a lot of fics I’ve seen are also set outside of the main events of bllk! Like usually when they’re already pro etc or for some characters who have enough backstory details about their stories before bllk then it’s set pre-bllk!

Hair down zantetsu>>>> I was actually shocked when I saw that scene of him in the movie like zantetsu pls let down your hair and take off your goggles we know you don’t need them….

The way you just so accurately described the entire Ubers dynamic LMAOO I also could not care less about sendou soooooo but it’s giving me the same vibes as the colored scene of them all helping Barou dye his hair I love the Ubers dynamic…I bet it working out gives aiku such an ego boost and he’s probably all like “see I’m right you all just don’t get bitches” completely forgetting that Niko is 15 and these are also soccer losers

Nooo because the few times I have to trek into Reddit territory to find a chapter link or something I see the dudebros collectively hating on him or using the fact that his parents trained him since he was young to try and minimize/discredit his “feats” (as they say in dudebro land)

White butterfly is just tear inducing LMAO that scene has me in my feels like bro…..the first thing he does after he goes pro and makes money is builds his childhood friend/love’s dream house SHSGSHS goodbye.

PLS you’re always on the grind omg that’s actually crazy LOL but no I think the whole fandom needs to be wiped and then shown seabird so they can ingrain this version of saw into their brains…maybe that’s the strat…right as s2 comes out we blast fwtkac bfb and lowk just your masterlist so people go “OHHHH that’s how they are” and the fanon version establishes itself as a much more accurate (imo) version that it otherwise would’ve…

AIKU WINGMEN SERIES GUYS WE WON based on what we’ve talked about this already sounds like sm fun to read I will most definitely be at the launch party…also SAE that’s crazy I lowk forgot they were on the same team for u20 for a sec but now that I realize it that makes sense LMAO

LMAOOO you’d have your own fwtkac moment where you get shown on the jumbotron and then have edits made of you and I’ll be scrolling through tiktok like guys that’s Mira…I know her lore..!!!

NOO YOU DESERVE IT honestly your writing output is some of the best I’ve seen in a while so idk what you’re talking about LOL Curious to see what even you decide on though!! I’ve seen some cute ones with like themed codes and whatnot from other writers before too so I bet your take will be fire!

- Karasu anon

no because ACTUALLY like bro was clearly not destined to be a barber 😭 honestly kaiser’s hair pre-cut when it was all shaggy and gold was rlly gorgeous i would like him more if he kept it like that or if he just tied it back or smth ☝🏻 but instead we got…wtvr the fuck he has going on 😰

HEHE no because i even have in my rules that i’ll probably take a while to respond and might ignore requests so people know what they’re getting into to but that doesn’t stop me from feeling bad yk?? sadly i am a chronic people pleaser 😓 but anyways YESS super goal coming up soon 🤭 jkjk i think the next ones are going to be short and simple because of the nature of the request so don’t expect any long ones for a bit!! but then again yk me so we’ll see (although tbf most of my requests have stayed generally within projected wc ranges the only ones to escape containment were seabird and the third part of fwtkac)

literally like it would def be a lot more comedic than anything but i save my comedy for the one shots longfics are angst ONLY /j also wait idk if you saw the most recent jjk leaks but i think i canonically killed off more characters in pomegranate ink than gege did in jjk which is CRAZYYY like i thought i was being fairly lenient 😭

hair down zantetsu is literally every shoujo male lead i need a fic where reo gives him a makeover or smth so he can truly shine LMAOAO i just know reo would have sm fun w that too

aiku’s like “all in a day’s work 🙂‍↕️😌” once barou gets a gf and then he thinks being a wingman is so fun that he tries to set up his other teammates w girls but lorenzo scares all of them away, aryu is uhh aryu and sendou is doing fine on his own so his only option is niko but niko is so introverted that he HATES “big bro aiku” helping out LMAOAOA like aiku becomes one of these rlly pushy uncles who goes up to every girl and is like “look at my nephew isn’t he so handsome” meanwhile niko is DYING of embarrassment…eventually mommy barou has to step in and tell aiku to leave niko alone 😭

on the one hand i get it because hiori is sometimes very overhyped in the sense that compared to charles and sae (and honestly even reo) he’s not the BEST midfielder oat in bllk but charles is considered a prodigy by even loki, sae is a ng11, and reo is canonically perfect so that’s not even saying much + he’s only really been active/awakened since the ubers game so with time he’ll probably improve!! he’s another one of those characters where there’s very few people who see the medium and don’t glaze him but don’t hate him either ykwim

THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYINGGG IT’S DISGUSTING like wdym you finally became rich and famous and instead of reaping the benefits you move back to a random town in the middle of nowhere and build a house for a girl who doesn’t even live there anymore just because you loved her so much?? in a way i think that even if reader had moved on or never came back just having that house was how hiori affirmed to the world that he loved her if that makes sense…like it was as much a confession to her as it was him making it clear to everyone that he wouldn’t ever be taken from her again if she still wanted him 😭 bitches when reader wanted to be a bird so she could fly everywhere but instead of being a bird with her and staying by her side like he wanted to hiori realized she needed a field (a home) to come back to so he just settled down and waited for her until she did because he loved her enough not to find her when he didn’t know if she wanted to be found 😭😓😫 i’m bitches fr

LMAAOAOO the grind is too real but omg i will be so happy if bfb freaky friday fwtkac loserboys karasu and otoya become fanon even though they’re already being written mostly as fboys in other works 😩 like okay ykw i even get otoya but wdym karasu is a player 😕 my man would NEVER have a one night stand he’s way too sensitive and gentle for that

AIKU WINGMAN SERIES INDEED OMG i’m so hype the for the barou and otoya versions especially because i already have ideas for them…i think the sae one is just going to be aiku being like “bro you’re in love with her” and sae’s like “no 😒” and it just goes on and on until sae is like “oh shit i AM in love with her” LMAOAO still pondering what i’ll do for karasu yukimiya and nagi but trust it will happen and it’ll be funny

LMAOOO MIRA EDITS i’ll be in my fwtkac era but without the crow 🙁 no soccer player irl could compare to karasu 💔 it’ll just be five ways to kill a soccer player which is nowhere near as fun and exciting…oh well we sacrifice what we must

AHAHA THANK YOU SMMM i meant more that i only post fics 5% of the time the rest is me dropping random thoughts answering asks chatting w people and reblogging fanart so people who follow me off of my fics are probably like WTF KSJSKKS okay wait hear me out a bird theme could lowkey go crazy…considering i am a #birdstan…anyways we’ll see there’s still a bit until I reach that point!! although ngl it might be faster if i actually post requests 😭

[stellewriites]

Hi Stelle 💛

For the ask game can we please get 8, 15, and 24?

-pricegouge

gougie!! hi!! 🫂

8. if you had to write a sequel to a fic, you'd write one for...

a lot of people have asked about choices made in anger and getting to see reader adapt to life with the 141 but i think i’d also enjoy writing a sequel to faint heart and all that with more tv show/universe hopping, i think it could be fun

15. favourite weather for writing?

ooo i think colder weather? too sunny and i feel like i should be outside making the most of it since we only get like 10 days of real summer here ahsjahsj but a bit cold and windy/rainy and i can curl up and concentrate

24. how do you recharge when you're not feeling creative?

this is a good one bc i was struggling last month with this,,

i think i keep reading other people’s amazing stuff and take a break from my own; i feel like staying active in fandom communities helps even if its just commenting on/celebrating other people’s stuff; i try editing old wips/drafts like im just dipping my toe in writing again lmao, it just feels like less pressure if the words are already there and i’m just checking for excessive commas; i struggle with comparing my work and how slow i think i write so i try to celebrate small wins too

doesn’t always work quick, but i think if i just sat back and waited it’d never happen for me you know? think i took a year long break once accidentally by doing that

[1watermelontea]

ask game fun times as your co-writer i have Experience i suppose aksld;fkjlas

i think i've mentioned this to you before but your dialogue is always pretty distinct—you use a bunch of less-common but still effective speech tags (is it a melon fic if no one “cedes” lmfao) + do a really lovely job of setting the different characters' speaking styles apart. also, just, the words you use for characters' speech (that makes no sense nine, oh dear)—little things like writing pearl saying "see ya" instead of "see you" help readers more vividly imagine her saying the line. i've started doing it a bit more since like. i've seen how you Make It Work but i didn't use to before bc i was always kinda paranoid it’d make it seem harder to read/just like… overkill?? dunno but i never see that problem with your dialogue

your actual prose is also pretty distinctive—I am Trying to put it into words but it’s just. a vibe. thanks brain. you’re really good at mixing it up with paragraph and sentence structure to keep things interesting; i do tend to miss that if i edit the day of writing lol but you’re really good at noticing that. also, ik you’ve mentioned not always knowing how to do descriptions and like. I find that funny bc you’re 10x more likely to open a scene with a landscape description than i am. the descriptions you do include are usually very movement-focused and have less to do with the characters body language and more to do with how they’re interacting with the environment. you’re also a fellow em-dash enjoyer, especially in dialogue, which makes character’s lines feel more natural + close to how people actually speak.

i keep talking about your dialogue but it’s just very fun!! you’re also like Not Afraid to juggle scenes with many characters which alskdjdhahal magic. i must spend ages poring over any character’s speech pattern before i dare write them and you just. do it

anyway you’re a v cool writer love everything you make 10/10

NIIIIIINNEEEE 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 you’re so kind

thank you yes dialogue is the one thing i’m confident in—i’ll say, shortening words is a thing i choose to do sparsely and only in circumstances where i think it is kind of necessary to get across the right vibe. accented speech in any capacity is finicky so if i think the reader will be able to read it in their voice without assistance, i leave it. like with stress’s scene in crosscurrents, although she even types in an accented manner, i didn’t do that in the text, because that would be difficult to read, and i know readers know how she speaks already. i use shortens to accentuate a tone or an energy first and foremost, unlike how i often see it used to denote accents. i think it works out well, and i’m glad you think so!

AND OKAY i have been opening with descriptions every time because i’m actively trying to practice, cos i basically ALWAYS opened every writing piece with dialogue for YEARS and im trying to get out of that habit 😅

& it’s so cool to know someone notices that i do a lot of variation in sentence lengths/types because that is a conscious decision i’ve been making for years. if i have too much consistency with it, i feel like it gets repetitive—with notable exceptions being that i use short simple sentences or sentence fragments repeatedly when trying to get across intense stress or fear or smth. go-to method for that lol because it mimics how my own mind organises disorganised thoughts

em dashes my beloved <3 i definitely have characters cutting themselves off or correcting themselves mid-speech pretty often or using filler words like “um” “like” “y’know” etc because i notice people use those a lot—i use those a lot—and no one’s ever going to be truly concise without a script. i gotta capture the girlfailure energy of these boys (gender neutral) not being able to get their thoughts across well

DO I REALLY USE CEDED FHAT OFTEN that’s so funny. the funniest thing, too, is that word is not even on my little list of speech tags i have pulled up when i’m writing. it just lives in my brain and comes out a lot, i suppose

lastly thank you i love writing scenes with many characters it’s always fun and i fear nothing 🥳 if i can write a scene with 14 characters present then i can do anything

love you nine <3 /p

you’re a sweetheart

[heyjude19-writing]

hey jude! did you take any creative writing classes before you started to write RN? Do you have any recommendation of possible things you did to improve your writing enough to give you the courage to start writing the story that was in your head for 10 years?

Hey anon! I’m gonna write you a big, long thing because i fucking love talking about writing. Ready? Okay!

Without getting too specific, i do edit/write for my day job, so i’ve taken many a writing course throughout my education/life which helped me with the basics, but it’s been quite some time since ive taken any formal classes. As far as creative writing, that was always my hobby. Sitting down and writing RN after a damn decade was less about feeling like i had improved enough to get it out and more of a mental health thing. My anxiety said “god, just write it already, it’ll help” and then the pandemic said “god, just share it, not many people will read it and you’ll feel better” and here we are.

What’s helped me improve since and kept me going:

Writing more. I’m no longer holding myself back from writing down any and every idea that comes to mind, whether it be for fanfic or original writing. None of these ideas even have to go anywhere, i’ve just allowed myself to enjoy the act of writing and it’s helped me immensely. Sometimes I revisit these little pieces and read them again for fun, or add a bit more, or go incorporate them into something larger I’m working on. Not all writing has to be productive! But I firmly believe it does help you grow the more you do it. 

Challenging myself. I’ll stress that when i say this, i mean i am challenging myself in a fun way, not in a “let’s make this as frustrating as possible” way. Experimenting with story length is one thing I love as a writer. Drabbles and ficlets are wonderful ways to work on specific skills, because you are so limited by the word count. This type of quick-bite writing forced me to remove dialogue tags i’d normally use, delete most adverbs, get rid of unnecessary qualifiers like “very” and “just” to save space for the actual story. 

Genre experimentation. I recently wrote my first horror fic and i’m quite proud of it. It made me realize how much i enjoyed writing in that arena and might be something i look to do for original work. It forced me to take familiar characters i was so used to writing one way and draw out different facets of their personalities to make sense for a darker plot. If you are ever at all tempted to try a different story genre, just go for it. I learned a lot about my own craft while doing this. 

Read more. I’m sure you’ve seen this a lot as far as writing advice goes, but i promise it’s true. To use my horror example again, I was reading a novel where wings burst out of a character’s back and it was a real mindfuck moment as a reader and then my mind just spiraled with inspiration for my own stuff from there. You might come across a phrase or a style of prose that grabs you by the throat and then holds your brain hostage. There are so many ways to tell the same story, and reading more will expose you to all these differences. It lets you find out what’s not for you (ex. writing from a ton of different povs in one story is not for me) and what you’d want to try out for yourself (ex. Im itching to eventually write a first-person pov).

Another recommendation if we’re talking about longer form stories (and i feel like i give this advice a lot): find out what kind of outliner you are. I LOVE the outline process. It’s my chance to word-vomit all over a fresh word doc any and every idea that comes to mind for the plot, the characters, scenes, dialogue snippets, etc. I love to bullet point scenes, sketch out some important character moments. None of this involves finesse, or craft, it’s all the ideas phase and it’s when I feel my most creative. Once i’ve got a story fully outlined, I go back and actually write out all these scenes (not necessarily in order, i’m not one who needs to write chronologically). Other writers I know just start from their first sentence and go from there, not allowing themselves to jump ahead. Find out which way works for you, because you’re the one who will need to read all of it over and spend so much time with it. Outlining makes me EXCITED about stories and helps pump me up to write and share them.

Talking with other writers. It was hard when I first posted RN and didnt know anyone in the community. But by putting myself out there it led to conversations and friendships with other writers. It’s a resource i’m incredibly grateful for, to have people just as nerdy as i am about writing, trading tips or asking for advice/encouragement or just to double-check im not insane and actually did use the word “belie” correctly. It can be intimidating, but if you havent already and are comfortable, check out some online writing groups/discords. 

Don’t feel like you have to follow every “writing rule.” It’s so easy to get bogged down in “you’re supposed to write THIS way” and you find yourself looking at a paragraph of soulless words that while technically correct, don’t say very much at all. I personally find it intimidating to try and improve all the things at once and it makes me hate the process. I’ve found concentrating on one aspect for improvement makes me feel like im growing without overwhelming myself. For example, i made a conscious effort in a recent story to not rely on adverbs so much, and when a reader noticed this in a comment, I was fucking elated. 

Okay and now to get a little pollyanna for a second. It does take courage to share your work on a public platform and open it up for public consumption/opinion. Your writing won’t be for everyone, but it is yours. You will spend the most time with it (in your head and on paper/screen) so it helps if you like it. What really matters, i promise, is that you like your own writing. 

I hope you found this helpful and good luck with your writing! My ask box is always open 💕💕

[reidgraygubler]

sounds like sweet talk to my ears (spencer reid/fem!reader)

Title: Sounds Like Sweet Talk to My Ears

Request: kinda, it was already written but someone asked for it to be posted

Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader

Category: smut, fluff (18+ CONTENT!)

Content Warning:  age gap between two consenting adults (Reader is 22. So it’s 15 years), swearing, sexual content (fingering, bathtub sex (?), groping, penetrative sex/creampie, hand kink), falling in love with a sugar daddy, mildly ooc spencer, light drinking, Sugar daddy!Spencer, sugar daddy relationship, mentions of under-aged drinking (in the past)

Word Count: 4,507

Summary: Reader and Spencer go on vacation where their relationship develops.

A/N: few things, this authors note might be a little long. And im sorry for that. This was written for a full length fic with mgg as the person. But i have heavily edited it to be for spencer instead. So if there are any weird things, or spencer being way out of character, that is why. Like i said this was originally going to be a full length fic (this was previously written!!), but i have since stopped writing it, i think i have one other part that is right after this, so if this part goes good, i’ll probably post the next part. secondly, this was also written for a friend of mine, who is 22, that is why the age gap is so big between reader and spencer. It was also written an original character, but i tried my best to make it be reader insert friendly (lots of petnames and nicknames)...  someone on my nsfw blog (@reidsprincess​ ) asked about this, bc i found this gif that reminded me of this particular fic. Anyways… thanks for the love! Check out my masterlist! 

~*~* THIS DOES CONTAIN 18+ CONTENT!! *~*~

{***}{***}{***}

“This place is beautiful,” I gasped once we were both in the small beach bungalow room. It was more grandiose than the last place we stayed in. The whole place was cozy and comfortable. This was a place I was never expected to be in...

 The front door was connected to the living room, it was a comfortable room, two loveseats, and two armchairs. A flat-screen TV was mounted on the wall across from the furniture. And the kitchen was attached to the living room, separating the two with a breakfast bar and stools. The kitchen itself was better than the kitchen in my apartment. I was jealous of the owner of this home. Flowers and lit candles sat on every open surface.

The kitchen had a set of sliding glass doors, which opened up onto a patio. And that held outdoor furniture, and table and chairs set. Something told me it also housed a jacuzzi, and I was more than excited to utilize that later. The bedroom and bathroom were tuck elsewhere, but I had a feeling that it was as beautiful as the rest of the home.

The house sat on the beach. The sand was pure white and the water was perfectly blue. I couldn’t wait to run and play in the sand. As childish as that sounds… I’ve never been to the beach, so this is all new to me.

“Spencer,” I looked behind my shoulder and at him. He looked down at me with a smile as he set the luggage down on the ground beside him.

“How about,” Spencer pressed his lips to my ear and whispered. His fingers danced across my bare arm, leaving goosebumps in their wake. I shuddered and smiled softly. “I go run us a bath, while you order food? Dinner with dessert? Champagne?” he offered, dropping his hand to the hem of my shirt. I chuckled lightly and pushed his hand off me. 

“That’s your idea of a perfect evening?” I asked, turning around to face him. “Dinner and a bath?” I chuckled lightly. He was looking down at me; the smile on his lips told me everything I needed to know. That he needed me right now more than I needed him. Although, I don’t think it’s possible for him to need me more than I needed him.

“Any evening with you is a perfect evening,” he whispered, lifting his hand to rest on my cheek. His hand fell down the side of my cheek and rested under my jaw, his thumb rested on the apple of my chin. I grinned as the familiar feeling of butterflies grew in my tummy. 

“Oh you be quiet,” I whispered as I lifted my arms to wrap around his neck. He hummed before pressing a kiss to my lips. I hummed, pulling him down more so we were more so eye level. He wrapped his free arm around my waist and pulled me so I was close to his body. I breathed out a laugh through my nose. After a second, he pulled away from me and kept his eyes on me. “I guess you’re in luck then,” I smiled, placing my hands on his cheeks.

“How so?” he whispered, pressing his face into my hands. I smiled and went onto my toes.

“Because our perfect evenings sound very similar,” I whispered and pecked his lips, “Every evening with you is perfect,” I smiled before walking away from him.

“What… What are you doing, Sunshine?” Spencer asked in a complaining tone as I walked towards the kitchen. I looked over my shoulder at him as I pulled my phone out of my pocket.

“Dinner?” I waved my phone in the air, “What do you want?” I looked back at my phone and smiled.

“Whatever you want will be fine,” he came back up to me and kissed me again before going towards the bathroom, “Bubbles?” he called before stepping into the bathroom. I laughed as I pressed my phone to my ear.

“You know me so well, Spence!” I smiled and sat on one of the stools at the breakfast bar. I looked around the kitchen and living room, taking in the beautiful decor. I wonder how he knew about this place...

I quickly ordered food before finding my way to the bathroom. And, the bathroom was just as impressive as the rest of the house. One wall was just a window that faced the beach. And a large white bathtub sat in front of the window. A shower was tucked in the wall, just so it was out of the way, but even that was beautiful. And of course, it had a toilet and sink. 

“Do you… Live here?” I asked, watching as Spencer was filling the tub. “Or like… Do you own this house? I mean… This is just. This is a beautiful house,” I leaned against the counter and looked at him. He stood up from the tub and looked at me. 

“Sometimes…” he paused as he looked around the bathroom. Sometimes? How do you sometimes live somewhere? “On the very rare occasion, when I have time off… I take my mother down here for a week. She loves the beach and the ocean and the sand in her toes,” he smiled as he rolled the sleeves of his shirt down. Okay, I guess that makes sense. “You order dinner?” he asked, resting his hands on the counter beside me. I looked up at him and nodded.

“Yeah, yeah, dinner’s ordered and on its way here,” I nodded and rested a hand on his chest. He quirked an eyebrow and smiled softly.

“What’d you order?” he rested his hands on my waist. I smiled and cocked my head to the side, allowing his hands to wander up my sides.  

“I’m sorry, it’s a surprise. I don’t want to tell you,” I smiled at him. Spencer wrinkled his nose before kissing my forehead. I let out a breath of air and shrugged. “You’ll find out in 20 minutes. You should save some space in the bath for hot water,” I poked his nose before sneaking away from his arms. He grasped my wrists and pulled me back so I was in front of him.

“Where are you going?” he asked, looking down at me. I flashed my brightest smile and shrugged.

“Champagne,” I batted my eyelashes. Spencer laughed and nodded. “You still want a glass or do you want to get in the bath now?” I offered as I walked back towards the kitchen. 

“As always,” Spencer followed behind me. “I’ll grab a bottle, you get the glasses?” he asked, going towards a mini wine cooler. I nodded and opened a cabinet. I opened a few before finally pulling out two glasses.

“If this is your mother’s place, why aren’t there any photos of your family?” I asked, leaning on the counter as I sipped my beverage. Spencer turned and looked at me, leaning across from me on the counter.

“We rent it out on season.” He replied, looking down at his glass. I nodded.

“What does that mean?” I asked, feeling mildly stupid. He looked at me with a smile. “Sorry. But you gotta remember that I’m an elementary school teacher’s assistant… Who's poor. I have an apartment that I can barely afford… Not two houses, one of which I rent out.” I pointed out. Spencer laughed and nodded. “Or did you think I was just sleeping with you for fun,” I leaned over the counter to kiss his lips. 

“Hurt,” he placed his hand on his chest in a mockery of hurt. I smiled at him and cocked my head. He looked back at me with a small smile on his lips. “Basically, when we’re not here, we rent it out… But we don’t have too many people staying here,” he chuckled before sipping his drink. “As for sleeping with me just for fun? I didn’t know it was just for fun,” he pouted. I smiled and shrugged. 

“Can’t forget about that paycheck too,” I smiled at him and winked. Spencer looked at me with raised eyebrows, causing me to laugh. “And, I think the fun is just an added bonus feature…” I laughed, throwing my head back. “I thought what we were was just money and sex? Nothing more,” I whispered, leaning on the counter. Spencer looked at me and shrugged.

“It could be more than that,” he smiled. I lowered my glass to the countertop and stared at him.  I could feel my lips trying to pull into a smile, but the longer I stared at him, the more I wished this wasn’t a dream. Because that’s all it felt like when I was with him. A dream.

“Surely… You can’t be serious, Spencer,” I whispered, finally looking away from him. Spencer lifted his hand and rested it on my cheek, carefully turning my head back to look at him.

“I’ve never been serious like this before, Sunshine. And, please, don’t call me Shirley,” he whispered, poking my nose. I smiled and leaned over the counter again, kissing his lips. 

“Only if you’re serious, Spencer. I understand you’re a busy man yourself, with all that saving people with the FBI,” I whispered. He nodded, keeping his hand on my face. I wasn’t exactly sure if he was being serious, mostly because he’s a bit older than me and most people my age (and his age) don’t take such a big age gap.

A knock on the door caused us both to look that direction. I looked back at him and smiled. “Oh no. What’d you order?” He asked, watching me bounce towards the front door. I pulled the door open and met the delivery man with a smile.

“Thank you very much,” I smiled and took the food and pressed the door shut. “I got pizza because I really wanted pepperoni pizza,” I looked at him as I held the box up. Spencer laughed and nodded as he grabbed the two champagne glasses and bottle.

“I’m okay with having pizza,” he smiled before taking the lead back to the bathroom. I held the box in a tight grip as I followed behind him. “Although, I never pictured pizza to be a fancy dinner before a bath,” he looked over at me with a quirked eyebrow. I laughed before I sat on the ground.

“I mean, you are the one who put me in charge of ordering dinner,” I looked at him, watching as he sat on the ground across from me. He sat against the cabinets of the sink counter. I shoved his food towards him and smiled. “It just shows we have two different tastes. I mean, remember the first night we met. You ordered room service for steak and chicken alfredo,” I pointed out as I pulled my food out of the bag. “I’m a simple woman. I like pepperoni pizza,” I smiled at him.

“I think I’ll put you in charge of ordering food more often,” Spencer smiled at me as he went for a slice of pizza. 

“I think that’s a good idea,” I grinned. “I’ll be sure to eat quick. I’ve never been so ready for a bath in my entire life,” I spoke as I moved to sit closer to him. 

“Take your time. We have all the time in the world, Princess,” he smiled as he sipped his champagne. I felt my face warm up a bit as I looked away from him. Something about the petname he has for me just gets me going, and I love it. He definitely knew that too, that I loved the petname of Princess. 

“Glad to know that,” I giggled as I looked at my mostly-empty glass. 

{***}{***}{***}

“More champagne, Princess?” Spencer’s voice was low as he held up the bottle that was now mostly empty. I lolled my head back onto his shoulder and rested my elbows on his knees (I was sitting between his legs in the bath) and held up my glass. 

“I would love more,” I whispered, watching him pour too much into my glass. I hummed happily, telling him it was enough. He placed the bottle back on the stool and wrapped both arms back around my body. The bathwater was warm and matched with how much booze I was drinking, I knew I was beyond intoxicated. I’m sure Spencer’s presence only fueled that feeling. No, it 100% added to that feeling. I knew that. And, he knew that. He knew he had a way with me that no other man would have, or ever have even.

“You should pace yourself, Princess,” Spencer whispered, pressing his lips to my shoulder. I giggled before sipping my drink, telling him I shouldn’t. His breath of air fanned over my skin as he began pressing kisses to my neck. 

“You, Spencer, should stop giving me alcohol,” I looked up at him as best I could. He smiled and kissed me again. “Besides... you’ve had just as much... as me,” I spoke through tiny hiccups. Spencer chuckled and rubbed my shoulders before pressing his lips back to them. My eyes rolled into the back of my head as the unknown tension slipped away. Damn his touch.

“Okay, that’s fair,” he murmured into my skin. "However, I've been drinking for sixteen years. You, Sunshine, are only 22 and have only been drinking a year,” he stated like I would follow the rules. I held back the cackle that so desperately wanted to escape my lips. Me? Follow the rules?? Never ever… This should be a fun thing to tell him.

"True… But I have been drinking since I was 18," I smiled and nodded. I sipped my champagne as I rested my head back on his chest. Spencer made a sound of disapproval which only made me laugh. Oh yeah, that’s right… Under aged drinking is illegal… and he is an FBI agent...  “Okay, since when have you known me to follow the rules? I’m dating a man 15 years older than me,” I pointed out. 

"Oh, you naughty girl." Spencer playfully scolded me. I pouted before humming again.

“Yes, but I’m your naughty girl,” I laughed, arching my back a little bit. I felt his hand travel from my stomach and to my thighs. I hummed as I got a little more comfortable for what he was about to do. “Starting early,” I teased. Spencer let out a breathy laugh. He gently pressed his lips to my throat, right on my pulse point. I gasped lightly as he parted his lips and sucked a spot on my neck. I held my glass just outside of the tub. 

“I’d rather have champagne in the bath than champagne and glass on the floor,” he kept his voice low as he pulled my hand back over the bath. I laughed and shook my head. “Is this okay,” he asked as his other hand traveled a bit more upwards, towards me.

“It’s always okay,” I whispered, taking a deep breath of air. I could feel my heart beating in my chest, I wouldn’t be surprised if Spencer could feel and hear it. 

“Let me take this,” he spoke, taking my glass from my hands. I let out a sound of protest as he took my glass and pressed my head into his chest. He chuckled as he placed the glass on the stool beside the empty bottle. “You can have it back,” he spoke in a mocking tone. I pouted and dropped my head to my shoulder. “In a minute,” he added, his tone becoming a little bit more smug. I rolled my eyes and let out a huff of air.

“Fine,” I whispered. Spencer chuckled again and placed his hand back on my thigh. I hummed happily and looked up at him. “Do you have to be such a tease all the time?” I pouted at him. He smiled and shrugged before dragging his hand closer to my center. 

“Could be more than a tease,” he replied in a whisper. I rolled my eyes and let out a deep breath of air. I carefully lifted my foot out of the water and rested it on the ledge of the tub. “Oh no, you’re gonna get water all over the floor,” he scolded.

“Oh no,” It was my turn to mock him. I smiled as I waved my foot in the air. Spencer hummed before pressing his lips to the side of my head. “A little bit of wet never killed anyone,” I snickered. Except, that snicker became a gasp when he pushed a finger past my folds. My eyes fluttered shut as my jaw stayed slack open. I pressed my back into his chest, feeling his arousal on my lower back. I nearly slipped under the water if Spencer hadn’t had his other arm around my waist, holding me safely against his body.

“Calm down there, Princess,” Spencer laughed as he held me up. I glared over my shoulder at him. “Don’t need you slipping under the water. I think you’re wet enough,” he added as his finger slowly circled my clit. My hands gripped the side of the tub and then moved to rest on his knees. 

“I fucking hate you,” I muttered but moaned towards the end of my statement. Spencer laughed as he pressed his lips to the side of my head. His other arm was pressed against my chest, keeping me still as I wiggled and writhed under his touch. A breathy moan fell from my lips as he picked up his pace.  

“No, I don’t think you do,” he whispered, keeping his lips close to my ear. My eyes fluttered shut as I dropped my head to the side. Spencer took this as his chance to press kisses across the space behind my ear, causing me to gasp lightly. Spencer hummed, pleased with how I was reacting to any sort of his touches. 

I lifted both my hands and gripped his arm as he slowly eased a finger into my center. I pressed my nails so hard into his arm, I wouldn’t be surprised if come morning he’d have crescent-shaped bruises there.

A man like Spencer who has hands as beautiful as his, he clearly knows what he’s doing. It’d be a sin if he didn’t. A loss for all of womankind. I guess that’s why I’m so pleased that it’s me under his hands right now and not a different girl. I quite literally love his hands, and the way he can just work his magic with his fingers, getting me going in a matter of minutes. He wasn’t lying when he said he was a magician. 

“You alright, Princess,” he asked, keeping his tone low as he continued thrusting his fingers in and out of me, curling them just right. I hope the gasp I gave was a good response because I don’t think I knew words right now. My brain was getting fuzzy, and my belly was starting to grow tense. Like a coil deep within me was about to break. 

“S’close,” I mustered out. I swallowed roughly as he began rubbing my clit with the heel of his palm. My whimpers, gasps, and moans weren’t evenly timid as he picked up the pace, finally pushing me over the edge. 

I was a mess. There’s no other way of putting it. But, I’m always a mess when I’m with him. 

Spencer slowly withdrew his hand from between my legs and placed it over top of his other arm, embracing me like his life depended on it. I took a deep breath, trying to steady my breathing. A giggle fell from my lips as I threw my head back against his chest. Spencer hummed as he looked down at me.

“I love your fucking hands,” I turned my head and looked at him. Spencer smiled at me and laughed before pulling his hands off me to look at them. I took one of them in my own and looked at it, entranced by his veins and freckles peppered over the backside. It felt right for his hand to be in mine.

“Thank you… I guess. I think that’s a compliment,” he mused as he placed his arms back over my chest and kissed my cheek. “You good?” he asked, his thumbs rubbing my shoulders.

“Yeah, I’m gonna go dry off and get water. Better see you in the bedroom.” I smiled at him. He pressed another kiss to my face before allowing me to get out. 

“As you wish, Princess,” he smiled at me as I grabbed a towel. His eyes lingered on me for a moment as I wrapped the towel around my body. “I’ll be right behind you,” he added as I grabbed our glasses and empty champagne bottle. 

I smiled at him as I left the bathroom, making my way across towards the kitchen. True to my word, I got a glass of water and drank half of it in one sip. I grabbed a second glass and retreated back towards the bedroom. 

Spencer wasn’t finished in the bathroom, I could still hear him splashing around in the water. I grinned and shook my head as I stepped into the bedroom. I placed the two glasses on the nightstand. I sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for him to finish. 

Not even two minutes later, Spencer entered the room, towel around his waist. I stared at him, my eyes lingering on his shoulders, down his arms to his hands, before flicking to gaze upon his belly and torso. I felt my lips twitch as I stood, leaving my towel behind. He smiled as I basically sprinted up to him.

I placed an open mouth kiss over his lips, putting my arms around his neck to pull him down to my height. I could feel his grin against my lips as our noses smooshed together. His arms wrapped around my waist as he brought us to the bed. 

“You’re so eager, Princess,” he muttered against my lips. I hummed as I threaded my fingers through his hair. That action elicited a moan from his lips, making me smile. He gently pushed me against the bed, standing at the foot as I got myself to lie at the pillows. The way he looked at me told me he was pleased with how the night was going to end. And honestly, I understood. 

He dropped his towel from his hips, letting it fall to the floor, before kneeling on the bed. I took a deep breath as I stared at him, keeping my eyes on my face. I knew if they wandered any further, I’d become a puddle right there. Well, more of a puddle than I already was.

Spencer smiled at me as his fingers ghosted my legs. He gently placed a kiss on different parts of my body as he made his way up to my face. The bliss I felt was unexplainable as he grasped one of my hands and kissed my lips. 

He looked down at me, a small smile on his lips. My chest heaved as my breathing picked up once again. The kisses he pressed to the swells of my breasts made me feel like I was floating. That, or it was the softness of the mattress and bedding beneath us. 

“You ready for me, Princess?” he asked, pressing a knee between my legs, separating them so he could fit comfortably between them. I licked my lips and nodded, keeping my eyes on his. His nose twitched as a smile grew on his lips. He brought a hand to rest on my cheek. “I need to hear you say it,” he leaned close to my ear and whispered. 

“Yeah, yes… I’m always ready,” I swallowed roughly and nodded. Spencer pulled his hand from my face and moved it to my hip. I lifted my legs and wrapped them around his waist, pulling him close to me. He smiled and kissed my lips, a simple distraction as he pressed his cock into me. The breath in my lungs was knocked from me, causing me to loud gasp. Spencer smiled against my lips. 

“You feel so good, Princess,” he groaned, dropping his head to my shoulder. It took a minute for either of us to move, adjusting to the feeling of each other. “Ready,” he asked, moving to place his forehead on mine. I swallowed and nodded, bringing my hands to rest on his cheeks. 

A smile twitched on his lips as he slowly started to move his hips. At first, it was an unsure rhythm but slowly grew in a slow and meaningful pace. His hands roamed my body before wrapping around my torso and holding me close. 

“Faster,” I panted, pulling my hands from his face and knotting them in his hair, again. He nodded, picking his pace. A familiar feeling in my belly, the coil winding, returned. The groans that fell from Spencer’s lips pushed me closer. 

“You’re doing so good, Princess,” his voice was low and rough as he spoke. 

I pulled a hand away from his head and brought it between our bodies. I began rubbing my clit, pushing me closer to the edge. Spencer’s thrusting grew more erratic.

“Come with me, please,” I whimpered, keeping my arm around him. He nodded and groaned as I clenched around him.  After a moment, we both became a mess. Moans and gasps of each other’s names filled the silent bedroom. 

Spencer stayed put above me for a minute, his arms around my body and holding me close. We took our time coming down from our shared high. A whimper escaped my lips as he pulled out from me and collapsed on the bed beside me.

“I got you water,” I panted, vaguely gesturing towards the two glasses of water on the nightstand. Spencer chuckled as he reached for a glass. I watched as he drank the water, his adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed. I smiled at him, keeping my eyes on him. I knew I should look away, but I couldn’t. “You’re right, I don’t hate you,” I swallowed roughly and shook my head.

“I know I’m right,” he looked down at me with a smile. I rolled my eyes and watched him get off the bed. I furrowed my eyebrows and sat up. “I’m always right, Princess,” he looked over his shoulder and at me. I smiled and nodded as I got off the bed. 

“So much for taking a bath,” I rolled my eyes as I felt our mixture roll down my legs. “I’m gonna shower,” I smiled at him as I walked towards him. He pecked my lips and nodded. 

“Don’t have too much fun without me,” he poked my sides as I grabbed for my towel. I squealed and shook my head. 

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” I smiled at him.

taglist: @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto​, @thebluetint​

[washymylifeaway]

Haikyuu fanfic recs for ones I liked hehe

EDIT: I made a pt 2

Anyway, as the title suggests, I am recommending some fanfics for popular(ish) ships that I personally really enjoyed! I’m only doing one or two fics per ship (which in hindsight is KILLING me so I’m just putting the first fics I find and am like I really liked that one LOL) because I wanted to do a shorter fic rec list (tho watch this become super long LOL). I also may or may not be procrastinating finishing a couple other long posts, so there’s that hehe. For the (kinda but not really) public consensus for best fics per ship (by kudo count) check out some of my other posts. Also I’m putting some ships I don’t actually read much of (OOPS LOL) so if you think that there’s a fic that fits my type (if I even have a consistent type) better, pls tell me LOL. Otherwise, pls continue heh :)

As always, pls check WARNINGS, TAGS, and SUMMARIES for fics before reading to make sure you’re taking care of yourselves (since mental health is key!) and stay healthy!

IwaOI:

The Loyalty of a Traitor by DeathBelle (E) 76.9k // ok so does me liking this fic make me basic cause I feel basic LOL. I really love mafia fics, and the way the story line developed was SO good, like IN LOVE with this story. This is a fic where you should read WARNINGS, TAGS, and SUMMARY before diving in, but if the length scares you, don’t be. It’s so easy to fall in and get lost in the writing!

the courtship ritual of the hercules beetle by kittebasu (chanyeol) (T) 66.3k // again, basic? Probably LOL but it’s good so I have no shame ;) Again, pls don’t let the word count scare you (cause it scared me LOL), you get really into it after like 2 paragraphs, so just make sure you have enough time to finish hehe.

KuroKen:

Thicker Than Blood by kylar (M) 91.4k // are you surprised that there is another mafia one? You really shouldn’t be LOL. Anyway, I’ll just be here pushing my mafia fanfic agenda while you read this monster of a fic hehe :) Definitely read WARNINGS, TAGS, and SUMMARY because there is some very sensitive topics involved! I also adore the oibokuroo friendship headcannon, so more reasons to read, right?

Liked, Commented and Subscribed by Royal Society of Pandas (Abarcelos) (T) 45.7k // this fic is SO funny omg. I read it and I had to stop so many times just to laugh because I could not stop sometimes LOL. However, there IS angst towards the end, it gets resolved, but it’s still there... But honestly, it just adds such depth and flavor to the fic, so pls read it!

BokuAka:

bang! now we're even by Authoress (M) 11.9k // so I’ll be honest, I don’t read a lot of BokuAka (...oops?) and so I wouldn’t consider myself as the best person to be recommending fics for this ship (in general too LOL).... ANyway, I love myself some good spy AUs (was gonna put that IwaOi spy AU but the LIMIT), and Akaashi in a dress? Like the tags might state, what more do you need? The characters are done beautifully, and the story development is SO good, so I give you all my humble BokuAka rec.

Crisis Converted by valiantarmor (M) 60k // man do I really love fighting in my fics LOL. This was super good and the plot itself kept me really engaged (what a twist omg). It does talk a bit about mental health issues, but it’s done so well, and they really did this AU justice!

DaiSuga:

How to Manage by SuggestiveScribe (E) 39.3k // ok so yea yea we established, I’m basic, BUT can you blame me? This might’ve been one of the first DaiSuga’s I’ve read and I have no regrets. Literally, this fic series is one of my favorites, so OF COURSE I had to add it somewhere :D Honestly, I don’t even think you need to read the first one to understand what’s going on, but I would just cause it has some funny DaiSuga moments too ;) This is explicit for PWP, so proceed with caution~~

Add New Contact by booksong (G) 8.5k // this one! It’s so cute and poor Daichi LOL. He really out here doing the most,,, Anyway, we love tech Suga, and a nice dash of snarky tsukki (LOL is he salt, yes yes he is). It’s very fluff and pine, so if you want to read Daichi having gay panic like 24/7, go right ahead LOL. 

SakuAtsu:

Burden of Blame by DeathBelle (E) 91.2k // ummmm, haha what, another mafia AU? Me, predictable? Noooo, never..... Anyway, this one was so freakin’ good like, love it so much! It’s one of my favorite mafia AU fics, and I love the story line progression. Poor Atsumu being dragged into this mess, but it’s okay because THEY are IN LOVE. Honestly, this fic is Atsumu best boy like he is the best boy. BEST BOY.

Notte Stellata by awkwardedgeworth (T) 20.9k // I ignored all of the other fics I LOVE in this ship (like the pain I’m in rn), but I love this fic with my whole heart. Like I have reread this fic multiple multiple times because I love it so much (tho I might’ve skipped the angst a couple of times cause I didn’t want the pain okay?). I keep coming back, and the second fic in this series is SO funny and cute and I love it here. Please read it, it’s so FREAKING good, angst and ALL.

KyouHaba:

Team Mom by All_My_Characters_Are_Dead (T) 2.7k // so as I was going through this tag (because that’s what I do LOL), I remembered this fic and I love it. Like yes Yahaba is the fear factor and yes Kyoutani is the DAD. I really like the team dynamics in this one, and the first years make me laugh pls.

Camellias by kiyala (T) 1.9k // IK you’re all like, you’re missing such great fics, like no I’m not I just made myself hate myself by limiting fics to two per,,, I love this fic and when I starting looking for this ship, it was the first one I thought of hehe. I really love magic and their interactions are so cute and the PLANTS ARE DOING THE MOST. Pls read both in the series, cause domestic KyouHaba is best KyouHaba ngl LOL. I love the plants, and if you read the second one, someone tell the trees to stop bullying Yahaba.

MatsuHana:

This gets annoying fast, Makki by Ink_stained_quills (G) 2.3k // IM IN LOVE WITH THIS FIC PLS I COULD NOT STOP CRYING TEARS OF LAUGHTER. This AU needs more fics PLEASE. It was SO freakin’ funny and the other teams KILLED ME. Like how they all approached the problem differently and how some of them (KUROO) asked for help LOL. Please this is so freaking funny go read it.

boiled frogs by reginagalaxia (E) 91.5k // I told myself I was gonna put my most angsty fics on another post (which I will for my other favorite MatsuHana angst fic which I love), but this fic. Omg I saw it and I was like I have to. Literally I have to. I hate angst, but read it. It, the, plot, omg, I jjfnsfknalkjdnf ljksan. Like I’m not sure you understand. This fic. asjfjfsadnldjb. I never thought I could hate a character SO MUCH,,,, like SO MUCH. READ TAGS, WARNINGS, AND SUMMARIES because some serious stuff really goes down. Bless Iwa-chan.

SunaOsa:

Accidentally in Love by pancake_surprise (T) 19.6k // JOSE CUERVO strikes. I love this fic and all the chaos in it. The way they were supposed to be the responsible couple (of friends LOL),,, sike. This one is only a slight angst and it’s mostly love and fun :) Also technically this is no longer the first fic in the series, but I’m still putting this one cause the other one is SakuAtsu orientated hehe :)

Spring Secrets by DeathBelle (T) 3.8k // Seasons might be one of my favorite (as all things also seem to be) series of all times. I don’t like rerecommending fics I’ve already said to read, which is why I’m not yelling at you to go read a certain other fic (which is my life and blood). Anyway, this fic series is all fluff barely angst (maybe that’s why I like it) but it’s so freakin good pls read it all ahhhhhh.

Komori/Suna (what is their ship name):

I wish to live in a world by hatsuna (T) 24.8k // ok ngl this fic was so sad and relatable? Like I was like wtf why are you making me cry rn even though like I shouldn’t be? My heart? Pain. (Hotel? Trivago.) Technically, this is END GAME but the main pairing is kinda SakuAtsu???? Something of the sort, but also their relationship (Komori and Sakusa) is written so well and idk guys I think you need to read this fic rn.

Ah the two fic limit hurt me, but fear not I am making ship specific rec posts (LOL I’m so dramatic), so if you wanted more of a ship,,,, its a coming hehe. And yes I did say I’m making an angsty fic rec post, but we’ll see if it gets finished before I side-track with posts like these LOL.

[alfredosauce50]

would you be down to do 2p china hc’s? im very curious on how you characterize him!

I’m down! I’m guessing you figured I had my own interpretation of the guy after I answered an ask saying I’d write for him. I really like 2p! China as a character, but I have to say, I haven’t properly written for him before. Nevertheless, I’ll give you my thoughts on him as a person!

2p! China Headcanons

Zao’s appearance doesn’t give away much of his personality. He’s got a bit of a baby face, and he has a sociable and pleasant demeanor for the most part. So if you didn’t know him well enough to see past those traits, you would be surprised at how shady he can be.

Appearance

Like his 1p counterpart, his dark brown hair goes past his shoulders and is tied back in a low ponytail. It’s pretty thin too, so it stays flat against his back. But that’s what makes it look so good. He isn’t the tallest guy out there, as he stands around 170cm or 5′7″. Doesn’t mean you can easily take him out in a fight, though. He’s quite slender, but he’s muscular and knows a few martial arts to boot.

He has a lot of tattoos, and he doesn’t try to hide them. He has dragons curling down his arms, as well as Chinese characters etched into his back. Most of the time, he wears traditional clothing, such as a sleeveless Tang suit, so his arms are exposed. It’s almost as if the colors black and red were made for him. And he knows it. So unless he’s having a bad day where he’ll go for a simple T-shirt, he likes to dress to impress. Not that he even needs to try.

He’s devilishly attractive, and the way he talks gets girls flocking to him.

Personality

Zao is very easy-going and open-minded. He’ll talk about anything with anyone. Everything is fascinating in a way, and nothing seems to faze him either. So he’s the type to question the most trivial things in life--or list drugs as casually as you would your favorite candy bars. It’s also difficult to shock him, or anger him. When life deals him a bad hand, or springs up inconveniences, he’ll go with the flow because that’s life. So unless something involves the person he likes, he keeps himself pretty level-headed.

With his willingness to talk about anything, comes his brutal honesty and bluntness. So sometimes, he’ll find himself offending people even if he never meant to. If he does this to women, they’ll slap him before storming off, leaving him in confusion at what he did wrong. But if he does this to men, he’ll have to be quick on his feet to escape a potential fight. Unlike a few other 2ps, he has a good temperament so he avoids violence, but he’ll resort to it if he absolutely has to.

Despite the careers he’s depicted to have, like being a drug-dealer, something in adult entertainment, night-life, or anything illegal, he has strong fraternal instincts. If somebody embodied the “big brother” trope, it would be him. He cares a lot for his younger siblings, and they look up to him as a role model. But he’ll always tell them, “Do as I say, not as I do!” As comfortable as he is in his own skin, his own identity, he wouldn’t want them taking after him.

He’s very flirtatious, and a huge tease. How he shows he likes you is through making you blush, or embarrassed. He’ll call you pet names. Shower you with compliments. Refer to you as if you and him are already an item. If you bumped into him at a grocery store, he’ll help you shop, then say, “So, is that all we need? I can’t wait for dinner tonight.” Zao is also unapologetically dirty-minded. He’s all about dirty jokes, conversations, and gestures. The bigger reaction he gets, the more addicting they are.

He doesn’t have any qualifications, not even a high school diploma, but he’s street-smart to make up for it. That’s how he makes so many connections and hustles his way up to the top in shady businesses. If you need something, anything, legal or illegal, expensive or cheap, you can ask him, and 99% of the time, he’ll say, “I know a guy.” If he likes you, all he wants in return is something perverted. A kiss, maybe. Or maybe your underwear.

Interests

He loves anything cute, and he doesn’t hide it. Sanrio is a must--he keeps a collection of their plushies, most of them being Hello Kitty, but he also likes other characters such as Cinnamoroll and Pompompurin. Sometimes, he can get a bit obsessive over whatever sells fast. So if he has to, he’ll stay up and keep refreshing the page selling whatever he has his eyes on. If he’s infamous for his connections that let him get pretty much anything he wants, surely he can get his hands on the limited-edition Hello Kitty-themed towel, right!? He isn’t against having other kinds of merchandise either, like household items, but he keeps it lowkey for functionality.

In his house, you’ll find a lot of imports from East-Asian countries. Not only is he used to using them when he was back in China, they’re better than what you can find in America. Or at least, in his opinion. This includes cosmetics, snacks, alcohol, and decorations.

Although he doesn’t have a lot of time to, he enjoys watching anime. That’s why he makes sure to get through the most popular and mainstream ones first.

Zao likes to keep connected with his culture. He doesn’t care to assimilate, and being ‘different’ doesn’t bother him at all--he thinks it’s what gives him a unique personality and background. Since he doesn’t have a lot of friends to speak Mandarin with, he’ll look for his neighbors who can, and strike up a conversation every now and then. As well as that, he’ll give his siblings red pockets for Chinese New Year so they can spend it on food, videogames or whatever they want.

He can’t cook for shit. Even then, he has strong opinions on food, especially Chinese. While he enjoys westernised take out like Panda express, he wishes people would stop assuming Chinese cuisine is just dumplings, fried rice, noodles and yum cha. They’re B-tier at best. For a country with that rich and long a history, there’s so much more to indulge in. Too bad he can’t make anything if he tried.

Psychology + romance

Zao is used to being a second choice. His cheerfulness and bluntness make other people think he’s creepy or weird, so he can’t quite wrap his head around somebody liking him to that degree--or getting particularly close to him. At least, emotionally. There are a lot of girls who want him for one-night stands. But this doesn’t stop him from flirting with someone he genuinely likes, even if he doesn’t expect anything in return. It’s fun because they get flustered, after all. But when they start returning the same energy, get persistent, or even make him suspect that they like him back, he will get nervous. He’s used to being the chaser, not the other way around. So if the tables turn and things start getting real, he will back away.

As confident as he is with his image, it’s difficult for him to get intimate with somebody romantically. He’s open, but can’t be vulnerable. He’d rather keep things casual, so when he really falls for someone, he’ll be conflicted between keeping things the way they are, or pursuing them.

Eventually, these feelings will deepen to the point being just friends becomes suffocating. That’s when Zao loses his cool and gets frustrated. It could happen due to a build-up of his emotions, or an event that makes him explode from jealousy. He’ll get desperate after so long of not doing anything and make it very clear he wants you. “Just date me already!”

When he finally gets together with you, prepare to be coddled. He’ll want to help you with anything the best way he can, and go to extreme lengths to do so. Nothing seems extreme when it’s for somebody he cares so much about. While he never holds it against you--how much he does for you--he may or may not guilt trip you into giving him more affection. But only subtly. Instead of him kissing you, he'll loiter around your presence until you kiss him. And when you do, he’ll smile like an idiot.

He never makes it explicit when he wants to take you out on a date. Zao will just ask you if you’re free, and take you out for the night. He doesn’t see a point in labelling it as a ‘date’, because he doesn’t just see quality time with you through a romantic and sexual lens. He values the friendship aspect of it as well, and you really appreciate him for it.

Zao loves to cuddle. He doesn’t hug you much throughout the day, but when you’re at home and about to sleep, he will hug you, a lot. He won’t let go while he talks to you, and will only loosen his coils when you fall asleep.

Acknowledgements

I was mainly inspired by the 2p! China in the story, “Dragon District”, written by xYourHero. So props to them. The fandom’s perception of him has definitely deepened because of it, and it’s great seeing underrated 2ps finally getting the attention they deserve! I’m one of the people who’s had my characterization of Zao take after hers, so I’ll also be crediting her for my headcanons.

You can find the story on DeviantArt, Archive of our own and Wattpad. I adored that fic back in the day. Such good memories. I wasn’t even writing back when I was reading it. Any who, let’s get right into it. I’ve divided the headcanons into subcategories, appearance, personality, interests, and psychology + romance.

(Look at this fanart is by Amphany on DeviantArt. It was drawn for xYourHero. I’m gonna put it here for reference. https://www.deviantart.com/amphany/art/Dragon-smoke-548426383)