Shinsou had a crush on you since like, young kids days and never thought you noticed him, but that was good cause maybe you thought he was a weird kid, so once he beefed up and finally got the confidence to talk to you it gets shut right tf back down when you're like "Of course i remember you!"
I don't know which part is worse............................ Shinso being so absorbed in his own supposed loser-hood in his youth that he essentially ignored you for 5-10 years while he was working out his self esteem issues ... or the fact that you not only DO remember him, berry well at that, but don't really think anything of it because you thought HE was kinda... a jerk for never being nice to you back.
(Cuz on one hand, you're so sweet, smiling at him when he approaches you, genuinely, just like you did back when you were both under ten and you'd smile at him from the other side of the park... but on the other hand, you don't hesitate to turn right back to your own friends after he barely manages to answer your "how have you been" question and you give him pity eyes like you still think he's a shy headass.
It's just... he doesn't want to fuck it up a second time and lose his momentum... but all the confidence he put into the moment deflated the second he realized you were even more beautiful and more kind than he remembered you and it got him tripping over his words)
ANYWAY then there's another 2-4 months of him trying to get your number just to be a fool over text before even managing to convince you he's worth a fucking damn LOL.
(And he is worth a damn, so much more than a damn because he's willing to give anything and everything up for you but... doesn't know how to say it in a way that wouldn't scare you off for good...
Not to mention he's so fucking bad at texting. Yes, his dry humor is funny as hell but he's not trying to be funny with you, he's trying to WOO you and so the whole thing is just him making excuses to reach out to you even tho texting first for him is like plucking ass hair.)
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honestly hilarious how many punches ive been pulling for fear of coming off wrong wrt fucking homestuck of all things but it's not just lame cowardice on my part like i think since bearing witness to the kind of insane fandom discourse that existed 2016-2020 i'm half convinced i'll be skinned alive if i imply something strange or unsavory about somebody's blorbo. but actually no that makes it sound like there will be tangible consequences for mildly irritating someone on the internet which isn't true generally speaking it's just the rsd/ocd and i need to get over the idea of people not liking me
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