#lmao this shit bugs me so much
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It feels like every single neurotypical I've ever met grew up hearing the same phrases that I and basically every other kid did - "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" and "Lying is bad and you shouldn't do it or you're a horrible person" - only instead of taking both lessons to heart and incorporating those lessons into how they interact with other people on a daily basis, they all somehow came out the other end believing "I can't say something nice to this person without lying, so that means lying actually ISN'T bad and it DOESN'T make me a horrible person :)"
And yet, paradoxically, it makes ME the horrible person for taking all the things they tell me at face value???
Make it make sense, people.
#random shit#vent post#how about: we just don't. fukken. LIE TO PEOPLE???#this reminds me of the one single beef i have with 'the good place'#where in one scene one of chidi's exes is like - 'sometimes we tell lies just to be polite'#but. um. MA'AM??? EXCUSE ME???#SINCE WHEN IS LYING EVER POLITE???#if a guy wearing something hideous asks if you like what he's wearing and you don't#you don't have to fucking LIE about it!#you can just say it's not YOUR thing but if it's his thing and he likes it then you're happy for him!#you DO NOT HAVE TO LIE TO BE POLITE#E V E R#BECAUSE THERE ARE WAYS TO BE TRUTHFUL WITHOUT ALSO BEING A DICK#ALSO IF YOU'RE HONEST AND GENUINE FROM THE START#YOU WON'T HAVE TOLD ANY LIES THAT CAN COME BACK AND BITE YOU IN THE ASS#lmao this shit bugs me so much#literally every social problem i've ever had has been because another person failed to just be fucking honest with me#and 99% of the time the other person is FUKKEN NT
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kabru's relationship with his eyes makes for suuuuuch a fantastic trans allegory (an aspect of your body alienating you from your community, being compelled to understand the perspective of someone who also has a complicated relationship with their body in the hopes that you'll better understand your own, people straight up misunderstanding biology) it makes me kind of insane because now I feel like I can't dig into any complicated feelings he might have about his body in relation to his gender without feeling like im just ... double dipping?? like fifjpejgh ryoko kui straight up already told that story in a way that exquisitely fucks??
#dungeon meshi#told yall this fic was crunchy#tfw youre a trans allegory on top of just being trans#mfw i can't even have him struggling with feeling infantilized or seen as weak because kui already did that too!!#cant have shit in dunmesh!!#it's trans allegories all the way down#personally im more interested in how kabru's gender presentation might have caused external conflict growing up with elves#who seem to be coded as generally culturally conservative#happy to see that one post about marcille and her gender hangups floating around because ive been having the exact same ruminations lol#bugs me so bad when people write off trans kabru hc as “people just see him as effeminate and think trans” especially in regards to labru#like no!!! there's layers here!!#youre telling me a queer coded this narrative?#stuffs all the complicated feelings about your body content into laios instead lmao#[slaps roof of car] this bad boy can fit so much body dysmorphia into him#he might have a penis but idk if that makes him cis either 🤔
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Just got back from seeing Deadpool & Wolverine!! I enjoyed it a lot but the humor was a biiiiit overdone lol
#It was a joke like once every minute and eventually I just got tired of it jfnsnfndn#My roommates saw it with me and they were offended I didn’t like it as much as them lmao#But they just recycled the same three jokes like over and over and over 😭#Also spoiler alert but god PLEASE stop with the multiverse shit I’m so over it#They poked fun at it ofc but the fact that they did it at all!!#I think the thing that bugged me the most was the fact that there were so many references I didn’t get#Bc I didn’t watch the 5000000 other Marvel movies and shows and side series and whatever else#I’d like to walk into a movie with just basic knowledge and be able to get what’s going on#GRANTED it’s Marvel. Idk why I expected anything else.#Anyway it was still good and I still enjoyed it a lot!!#They just laid the jokes on a bit too thick for my tastes#And the multiverse stuff 😔#Shima speaks#Deadpool#Deadpool & Wolverine
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mostly I prefer to play in the space and explore/ build on flavor text given by the books rather than outright reject or contradict it wrt things like races and classes in dnd but once in awhile I'll suddenly remember that canonically lizardfolk don't experience emotions and only respond to threats by logically assessing them as such because they're too primitive to feel fear
#FEAR? FEAR BRO???#YOU THINK TACTICALLY ANALYZING WHETHER A GIANT BEAST TRYING TO KILL YOU IS A PROBLEM IS *MORE PRIMITIVE* THAN *FEELING FEAR???*#WHEN YOU SEE A LIZARD OR A BUG NOTICE YOU AND START RUNNING AWAY DO YOU THINK IT'S GOING#'ah I see-- a much larger animal has noticed me. it may wish to predate me or it may simply pose an unintentional threat by being so large'#AND NOT 'AAAAAAAH!! AAAAAAAAAAHH!!!' ????????#IT'S BAD WORLDBUILDING MAN LMAO IT'S A SWING AND A MISS FOR ME DAWG!!!#my PERSONAL take on this is that lizardfolk don't EXPRESS feelings the same way other humanoids do#and also culturally feel differently than a lot of other peoples#which leads to the perception by others that they don't Feel-#which coincidentally is convenient for other peoples particularly in positions of power to be able to abuse and exploit them#lizardfolk make GREAT manual laborers and footsoldiers :) they literally can't feel pain or fear :))#like. with warforged you can play in that space because 'do/ can they Feel' is classic robot shit because it makes sense for what robots are#lizardfolk is people. like that's not even a supernatural being within the fantasy setting that's a normal-ass animal the same as a human#'they don't feel love' okay fine that seems pretty maladaptive for a species that apparently builds societies but fine#'they don't feel fear' bud yes they fucking do what are you talking about. I don't believe you! that's stupid!!
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Can we PLEASE get back to #freethenipple? Cause like… sitting in bed without a shirt on because i’m itchy makes me feel powerful.
#freethenipple#trans guy shit#I hate clothing so much LET ME BE FREE#I’m also just really itchy because i’ve got a shit ton of bug bites :(#Bugsoda please to biting me#The only time i’m not ok with being bit lmao
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It took me, ugh, MONTHS (2), to get to cleaning the two shrimp tanks I have... I had IRL issues going on that would have made it extremely difficult to do a water change especially while injured, and I just had to keep putting it off. It's just shrimp, so it wasn't like, the worst situation, especially since I have established plants and the tanks are a couple years old. There was just a lot of algae build-up on the glass, and, well... Let me just say it was not contributing to my mental health and well-being while the tanks were in that state.
I tested the water before I started cleaning and the parameters were fine (like, I could have left the tanks even longer if I would be okay with selling my soul to the Algae Collective), and the plants and shrimp look fine, too (I mean, I've obviously been keeping an eye on the tanks bc I sit right next to them). Actually, I'd wager to say that the plants are looking really great (the lilies haven't died off [yet? This is the longest period of time I've seen them stay... foliage... fol... foliated? Idk.] and the cryptocoryne in the 10gal is fucking huge and needs to be rearranged, just not right now). That fucking algae was a motherfucker to get off the 10gal (it's a plastic tank and I think that makes the algae grip harder than the glass 5gal).
[Also, fyi, depending on the tank's needs and stability, recommended water changes are a small one every week or every other week. My parameters don't seem to do anything dramatic, so I usually aim for a 20-30% water change every third week (just depends on how much vacuuming needs to be done and how cooperative the shrimp are with moving aside). So 2 months is still a lot. I still did the normal 30% ish amount, since doing more will risk the shrimp's well-being if there's a sudden change in everything, and my water parameters indicated a change was unnecessary - but I don't test for more than the minimum freshwater tests, so there could be a buildup of some mineral I'm not testing for, which is why the change IS actually necessary regardless of what my test kit says - because these tanks were evaporating a lot in summer, it condenses the minerals added with each water addition, even tho I usually top up with R.O. water.]
My back is fucking killing me lol. It has been killing me since spring when it 'went out' for the first time, and I'm not getting any relief, it sucks. But this had to be done.
The 5gal is looking pretty cloudy still, since the filter was super gunked up and I accidentally spilled gunk back in, so I may need to retest the 5gal parameters tomorrow just to make sure I don't have to do another water change, but it'll probably be fine, right? Shrimp love mulm and detritus. I did give both tanks a big ole algae tab for their trouble, tho. (I need a fuckening dish for the big tank. I really wanna clean off that white quartz rock again, but being white means it's an algae magnet, and it's just gonna go green again after a month or two.)
Anyway, shrimp tax:
I lov thees widdle oange bebies.
Wish I could take better pictures rn, but I am. Like. Dying. My recommendation: never live in an A-frame style room if you have the option. The wall above my tanks is slanted, and NOT fun for my back to bend underneath the wall for maintenance. (My only flat wall in the room is for my TV/PC.) Also, treat your back nicely, in general. I unfortunately have not had the option to treat my back nicely since spring (fall now), because 'when it rains it pours,' and heavy shit that needs to be moved will not move itself. Once I get a few more things in my room in order, I will hopefully be done with the IRL chaos, bc I have Halloween socks to knit, and I'm not putting that off for another year. (I'm still mad that I couldn't make the ones I planned last year. And I found more Halloween yarn I forgot I bought, so I'm gonna try to make multiple socks.) And I just really need to fucking chill and knit and stop having panic attacks and meltdowns.
#me earlier today: oh i should bleach my hair since i havent been able to shower for 2 days it wont damage it as much#me now: i dont know if i can even stand long enough to shower after this#anyway im gonna try to eat something and then shower and pass tf out.#maybe i shouldve taken a before picture to show how much i did...#...but i do Not want to remember 'that one time i didnt do a water change for 2 months' the algae was gross lol i couldnt even get it all#but honestly idc ab the back wall having algae as long as the front and most of the sides are clear#seriously the algae was textured like sandpaper tho. does algae do pearling? if it does then its calcium buildup too#edit while typing bc i looked it up. yes algae pearls. so the bubbles it was making were drying enough to cause calcium deposits#oH also lmao i found the tiniest pinch of hornwort left in the 10gal. idk why the hornwort doesnt like that tank but its hilarious that...#...that one little fingernail sized piece is still alive floating in there. i stuck it next to the lily but the shrimp will prob dislodge it#the hornwort in the 5gal is just freefloating i cant get that shit to stick#the shrimp love that stuff and they look like little birds in a pine tree#im in so much pain im procrastinating food lmao 'order pizza' crossed my mind but my jaw wont let me eat pizza so fml#anyway. just wanted to show an accomplishment even if its not a praise worthy one since i didnt go the extra 10 miles to water change sooner#awwww tho i love seeing them glide around the tank and now i can see them clearly its so chill#shrimp#aquariums#crustaceans#bugs#Cori.exe#Post.exe#Image.exe#also my therapist started cracking up this morning when i said like 'i can finally rest now tht i dont have a Saw trap bathroom to navigate'#seriously tho it was bad and then another issue in the bathroom came up 2 days ago but theyre both fixed now. my br is normal now.#im not normal tho (normal for myself i mean) and unfortunately thats not gonna be an easy fix but im trying#man can i ever make a post where i dont type a million words lmao. inability to focus and then i start typing more stuff#oh ab the hair bleach man my roots are so dark i just trimmed off the last of the bleach from last time so i got 2tone hair rn#idk when ill get to that. dependsnon my back. i already wasnt in a great state of being when i did the aquariums but i needed to clean them#ok i rly need to try n make food and shower before i start growing algae on myself
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Can someone tell me when in the series this was confirmed cause I finished my replay a few days ago & never had any scenes that said it 😭
(Unless Jameson said it in book 3 or later in book 2 if he wasn't killed cause I killed his ass in both of my playthroughs 😂)
#the mystery was bugging the hell outta me#so much shit was going down later with Gaius & Rheya#and the mystery completely slipped my mind lmao#pb choices#pixelberry#bloodbound 3#bloodbound 2#bloodbound#choices bb#lily spencer#bb lily#play choices
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I am bearing witness to the world’s most unhinged historical rpf in my ao3 subscription email notifications
#the kind of thing that makes me think ‘is this allowed???’ lmao#i haven’t unsubscribed to this writer cuz i’m fascinated by the brain that comes up with this kind of stuff#idk how anyone can be pro censorship#when they can study the brain of the kind of person that comes up with this unhinged and reprehensible shit like a bug instead#so much more entertaining than running a bullshit morality crusade#moonie posting
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me: Merwyn you promised yourself not to add more oc lore and make extra shit ALSO ME:
#im losing my shit today i been just thinking about this oneee thing and it been bugging me fvdnj#IT WOULDNT MAKE SENSE BUT- it be cool i think..but it probably overdone so much lmao#this is all /lh btw im just bullying myself/silly#also yeah its about marco. hnbvfcdgbn
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Ok but Jiro splurging and getting Ichi a little pocket guide to local bugs ;o; He’d carry it everywhere as a kid and it’d get so bent and dirty but he learns so much. Bringing home bugs to his dad in his lil wire bug trap and rattling off bug facts while some of the girls are screaming for him to take it outside (cute lil Ichi being the one who handles bugs for some of the girls at Shangri-La who are afraid of them)
I’m sorry I dunno why I’m so obsessed with little bug guy Ichiban. Imagine him being young and watching caterpillars grow in class okay ;o; angel!!
oh so we're all on board with Bug Lover Ichi then maybe democracy does exist
#snap chats#i leave for a walk and casually comment 'ichi should be a bug wizz' and#pun intended#here come a swarm of asks 😩#i do very much like the idea that jiro gets ichi a bug book for his birthday one year.......... thats so cute i love that...#he bringing that shit everywhere with him i prommy it always gonna be tucked away in his lettermen 😭#and ichi being the Local Bug Remover....... bless his heart... everyone mad at the roaches but hes just :( ? Theyre Friends :)#jewel beetles are MAD pretty i LOVE EM im sure ichi'd love em too..#and I Too consider nancy a sea bug of sorts... its only fitting its only right..#how the fuck a cicada molt in your car tho ☠️☠️ LMAO good luck for things to come i guess#also in review i think i found a cicada /carcass/ instead of a shell- VEEEERY different#considering cicadas often represent rebirth and change and growth... that doesnt tell me good things about my future..#but thats just superstition right :) r :) right <:)#speaking of superstition the moo is Full And Yellow tonight like an expensive wheel of cheese#and tbh as pretty as they are full moons worry me: people can get weird during that time and my mom is no exception#coupled with the fact then when i got home my bro told me my sis- who was supposed to be home today- was sick#veryyyy bad omens ahead for me.....#in any case... i watched the deer king and WMA2 today :)#unrelared to Everything I Just Said LMAO BUT HEY MIGHT AS WELL REPORT IT#LOVED EM but i dont have the tags to talk about them both extensively... just know yall should give em a watch...#or at least Deer King.. that one's much easier to find with subs.... (but WMA2 is def worth the trouble)#ok bye i have work to do i got Another client during my walk ☠️☠️
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fondly thinking about my best friend.
no idea how she's managed to stick it out with me this far but i'm amazed that after over 6 years she still has enough patience to tolerate me.
when i don't feel like i'm good enough, she reminds me of who i am. when i make mistakes, she doesn't treat me any different. when i'm highly dysphoric, she just /gets/ it and shows me unrelenting support and encouragement. she's my #1 hypeman, and i am hers.
there isn't another person in the world that's been able to make me feel even.. remotely okay in my own skin, about how i look and how a body feels (i would also say about who i am, but i'd be lying).
i realize that i've always had a bit of body dysmorphia and generally don't enjoy looking at my own face because it's.. very uncanny to me. i don't have a proper sense of style. but she always just?? has something nice to say and she does it so genuinely that you can actually believe that she means what she says. because she's the same.
i'll go out looking like a 12 year old boy and she's just. fucking. there for it. she'll cheer for it. do it with me. and then we'll walk around the block looking like two lil' dudebros together because we own the same clothes. and fucking hell.
this girl is too good to me. i absolutely don't deserve her.
sometimes it's hard to believe that someone like her exists.
and that i get to be witness to it.
there's caveats, of course. we talk so rarely (we go weeks without), the interests we share are few and far between and there's.. so many things i could never tell her because i will never get over that fear of losing her.
there is no right moment and there isn't a time and those are things i neither need nor want her to know, because it would change the way she sees me.
and i guess that seems callous and detached and dishonest.
but we are there when it matters. i am there when she needs me and i will always pick up her pieces.
i want her to have a good thing. she sees me as a good thing.
so i'll let her have me this way.
#the one person i've not yet managed to hurt and i don't think i ever fucking will#i'd throw myself off a damn cliff first#this girl just saw me one day when i showed up to school. decided i /seemed/ too cool for school and adopted me over the summer.#like what. how. i am THE lamest guy™ AND SHE somehow STILL thinks i'm cool what a nerd UGH#it's just sad that we're at the point where we have little to tell each other because our lives are so different & we live far apart#at least we can take naps with each other and just chill out when we meet. we can just.. be in the moment together and enjoy it.#and that is still. everything.#also like. i generally don't take selfies but i did a few days ago because i thought i looked kinda cool and i told her about it and#she really wanted to see & she is the only person i'd ever send selfies to and she just...#'bug those last three could work as a hot fuckboy tinder profile' LOL bless her that's the funniest shit i've ever heard#IDK IT'S that thing where you love and care so much for someone that they become infiniely more attractive than they are at first glance?#but she's the only person that i'd ever actually be able to believe. because she is so fucking genuine.#i'll also never get over the fact that she is the smartest and most studious person i know but listens to the most anti social german rap#like LMAO okay girl! you go! i hate it but i love you#it's just a funny contrast that she listens to the filthiest shit imaginable hahaha#personal
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so the good news is that yes a lot of people can wrap their brain around the concept of there being different rules for childrens content and 18+ fanfiction. the bad news is that there is a weird amount of people who need to read more ie: the definition of media and the articles that they assume agree with them based off of title.
People know that the whole "don't portray [harmful action] because viewers might recreate it" thing is a rule for children's shows right? It's supposed to be shit like "don't show peppa pig playing with fire so we don't get sued if a kid watches it and burns their house down." Not like, fanfiction for adults.
Edit: this was me venting about fandom cops. not me making some nuanced hot take. don't be weird in my comments.
#its bugged me so much i cracked open mirriam-webster#had to know im not crazy lmao#derived from medium as in the format through which something is portrayed#the first definition directs to mass media: meaning media made to reach/inform the masses (news)#and when you leave your house and talk to someone older than you its easy to realize that its used far more to talk about news media#like none of you think 'media coverage' is about your cartoons right?? you can at least figure that one out based on context clues???#brb gonna grad ye old physical dictionary bc i own books like some kinda nerd#oh it doesnt even get its own definition its included with medium lol#2: agency; as in the newspaper is a great advertising medium#7: the material used to produce a work of art#courtesy of the winston simplified dictionary. oh theres all sorts of cool shit in here. theyve got signs and symbols in this bad boy.#god i love physical media#also further proof that christians who claim Xmas erases christ r weird. X means christ. like im pretty sure they did that and forgot#A.I. used to stand for American Institute#highly recommend getting an old dictionary for cheap at a local market its worked out great for me#the last owner left notes saying yay or nay to countries#germany? P.U. which given when i think this was made is fair enough yeah#japan's red sun flag is also scribbled out and captioned P.U. so i can take a guess#ramble tag
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Fuckin breh, a coworker of mine got fired about a month ago and I forgot the dude existed mostly. Then he sends me a text the other day and this mans. This mans asks me out, said he thought I was cute when we worked together but couldn't say anything (girl why didn't you care about professionalism enough to do ur job right lmao) and I was like 👁️👄👁️ again!! Right after Ben?? Although to be fair Julian was better looking and less desperate but he is also into cryptocurrency so that's like 500 red flags right there even if I was interested ☠️☠️☠️☠️
#winters ramblings#being into crypto is basically telling me youre shit with money jave poor critical thinking skills and potentially a gambling problem#i swear to god i was like what the fuck i can't believe this has happened TWICE in like a year#i tokd my coworkers and they were also like 👁️👄👁️ my one fucking coworkers FACE lmao#it was like a fuckin bug flew up her ass it was so funny. anyway thats my week lol#also one time he said TRUDEAU banned news on Facebook and i dont like Trudeau but he did NOT do thag#that* it was FACEBOOK THE COMPANY who did that and if youre going to criticize the government you need to be correct#about WHO did the thing youre criticizing. because Trudeau didnt want that to happen he wanted canadian news networks#to be able to ACTUALLY MAKE MONEY from having their shit on facebook and facebook didnt want to pay the fuck up#thats TOTALLY different than Trudeau saying no canadian news on facebook#also one time he said banks dont want people to make money when talking about crypto but thats bullshit#banks dont give a FUCK if you make money or not so long as you bank with THEM if you have millions +#like thats LITERALLY the plot of Beverly Hillbillies. anyway i was like girl theres SO much wrong with finances and aconomics as we know it#WHY ARE YOU MAKIG SHIT UP JULIAN??!
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ngl i do not like people who irrationally hate steven universe. su is a genuinely good show, and everyone is obviously entitled to not liking something but good GOD. whenever i see "criticism" directed at the show 95% of the time its bigotry with progressive sounding wording blanketed over it (or more often its just blatantly bigoted), the same discourse poisened talking points that if you actually watched the show would quickly fall apart, or utterly baffling bad faith readings that ignore the shows messaging and writing to make it seem worse than it is
#bug dad txt#sorry this show means so much to me and it did NOT deserve the shit it got#the fact there where weirdo ''su crits'' that costantly followed the show just to shit on it#was so fucking PATHETIC 😭#sooooo sorry that a children's show about love and friendship is too much for you to understand lmao#sorry i'm salty and annoyed hfhfd#please watch hiding in private's videos on su they are very good#they go and actually step by step dismantle all this shit 'criticisms' aimed at the show and its so cathartic
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Alright you know what huevember is timeless and I operate on my own schedule
#i got tired U_U#i wanna use the entire 30 day color prompt thing and do detailed illustrations for all 30 colors#picking randomly and then lining all of them up in the end to show the hue progression#excuse me for actually using art prompts 😭 i still have some ideas i wanna use.. one color for every silk gang girl of course#and a few for the ants and my very own gay bug; a couple vocaloids too! i have ideas i wanna use#they just won't be implemented every single day lsjdkd i did wanna do simple things and then an insanely complex pouf piecr#*piece bc he is my muse and the contrast would be so funny; oh of course he made insanely detailed art of his butterfly boyfriend#i still very much want to.. might also test out cheap backgrounds lmao; I'm not doing full landscapes and shit#maybe some patterns or key features.. i wish i had the energy for half of what I'm envisioning U_U#hopefully it'll get better soon 👀#shai speaks
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#i’m either so tired i’m hallucinating again or the tiny bugs are back#by which i mean the super tiny luminescent ones that swarm around my room in uniform formation#creating perfect geometrical shapes that slowly revolve in place💀💀💀#in a way its grainy colour superimposed over my vision but if i stop and stay still long enough i can see the structures#spinning in place#they’re beautiful but dawg….#i think. my hypothesis is that i’ve just been staring at my ipad screen too long and when i look away theres extra noise for some reason#and my brain is just trying to make sense of it. shite hypothesis tho lol. how do u test that#also i haven’t slept that much the past few days#the last times the i saw the bugs i was also very tired and had either been cramming or working on an assignment for forever#lmao not my brain trying to convince me my bedroom wall is a really shitty mirror now#i can see the rest of my room reflected back at me but everything is super blurry and indistinct#if i move my light-shadow reflection does as well.. only with a delay as if through water#well this is weird. i’m definitely procrastinating again though so i should get back to the practice problems#2.58e-4C/kg#mf i chose this tag thinking tumblr would remember it i was not expecting to have to type that shit out every single time ru kidding me 🤖#edit: the double helixes are my favourite…#there’s also one that looks like the uhh#you know how conch shells curl around/from some axis#like that but i’m looking at it from a two o clock… (azimuthal angle =pi/2ish) and the top opens outwards like the petals of a flower#only endlessly as it keeps spinning#i wish i had the time to draw them or something idk#oh there’s a big one that looks like a bunch of huge 6-sided dice stacked on top of each other but they’re hollow#so there’s only the skeleton/frame but the frame is etched/cut into smaller pieces if i pay attention. (recursively getting smaller)#only three can fit between the ceiling and floor lol. i see that some of them spin together but othertimes they rotate independently#this shit is kind dope ngl#watch me pilfer these sick ass visuals for my wip/story somehow lololol. if i remember. i never actually paid this much attention to them b#trying to commit the images to memory by recording this i suppose#edit 2 had a scary minute when i thought my skin was becoming transparent and i could see my veins writhing around under there 😳😳#it’s fine i think i’m just tired but lmao
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