#lmao like did we really forget bisexuals exist?

[lover-of-mine]

I so agree with everything you said. The difference of reactions when you didn't ship their previous relationship vs when you don't ship B/T is very telling (same with the fact that when some people talked about a cheating storyline, the reactions were always "it would be bad for Buck to do this to Tommy" but apparently it would have been okay if Eddie did this to a woman?? okay lmao)

What I don't understand is how people say that it's Buck's most developed LI/relationship. Like? We don't know that much about him. People have created (themselves and via the actor's cameos) lots of headcanons but that doesn't mean that they are canon.

To me, he really still feels like a love interest device for now. Like with the scene of the kiss in the last episode, they could have include some mentions of another date, whether past or a future one, but they didn't. The kiss was just there to be able to have Buck come out to the rest of the family, but it didn't bring anything more about B/T (we don't know if they saw each other since the coffee date/if it was their second kiss or if there was already more).

Literally. Like, look, I will say one thing, if buddie had hooked up at that bachelor party only one person would be cheating and that's Eddie. Buck and Tommy did not have a we're exclusive talk. They actually had a we can figure things out as we go talk. Personally, I don't think that counts as an we are together conversation, but that's my opinion. But either way no one seemed to care about the Eddie side of it. Eddie who is literally in a relationship serious enough he asked her to move in with him the episode before. But sure, that doesn't count because they hate Edy and forget Marisol exists (I do too, but I spent the whole time saying we shouldn't make the bisexual dude help his best friend cheat because I did not forget Eddie would be cheating and that would be bad no matter what). And to say T is the most developed love interest is a straight up lie. Taylor had a whole season as Buck's friend before they got together. She had a personality, flaws, qualities, she even got her very own tragic background episode. Say what you want about anything, and yes they sucked as a couple, but bucktaylor was developed. On screen. To a point where if the show actually wanted to, which they clearly didn't because they used the s4 Taylor development to stir her away from Buck instead of closer, they could've made bucktaylor work, they just had to make her as intense about Buck as she is with the job, and they could've been a very interesting golden retriever boyfriend/black cat girlfriend dynamic (good god I can't believe this fandom is making me defend fucking bucktaylor). Buck and T had one scene alone before they were kissing. Tommy has no established personality. Pretty much everything about him besides the begins episodes part of him (that dont paint him in the best light) we learned second hand. Through interviews. It's not even things that are being said to the audience in the show. I'm pretty sure the only things we learned from the show are the way he's a pilot, he was in the army, he likes wrestling, cars, and basketball. I could be wrong, fandom annoyed me so much I blackout every time I see him at this point. But he's not developed? He's just a guy? Don't get me wrong, he could be developed. There is space for it. But right now, he is there to serve as a device for Buck to find his bisexuality and that's it. They kissed twice. They went on half a date T left in the middle of. They went out for coffee and decided to figure things out as they went. He was at the hospital after the wedding to work as a way for Buck to come out without making him go around telling everyone. He exists around Buck. And that's it. Personally I don't see the endgame material people keep seeing. I don't see the development either. And anyone can headcanon anything, really go off, have fun with your ship, but people seriously need to stop acting like what Lou is saying in cameos counts as canon. Being in the fandom right now is exhausting because people just decided things about T and BT that are not backed by canon and they get real aggressive if you don't agree. I seriously am dying to see what's gonna happen if canon goes against the idealized version of him fanon created. I don't know if it's gonna happen but by god will I be entertained by it if it does.

[im-out-of-it]

making a complete list of my thoughts of the show vs books since I finished it and will probably leave some stuff out since I’m super forgetful, sorry 💀

1. once again love that they upped the ages. glad we didn’t have centuries year old Magnus chasing teenager Alec or all the other inappropriate relationships in the books

2. Malec is fucking perfect on the show and it really showed that if anybody actually cares about them, they can make the characters much better and give the characters a better shot than the author ever did. I seriously love all the details Matt, Harry, and whoever wrote their episodes did. only one I cannot stand is when Alec doesn’t realize right away that Magnus and valentine switched bodies. but alec handled the immortality thing wayyyyyy better than book Alec ever could. book Alec (and pretty much TMI content and etc) barely exists let’s be real

3. Izzy and Simon are way too rushed in the series but at least they have more of a friendship and there’s no cheating storyline. but I kinda like Maia and Simon together. I feel that Maia understood Simon.

adding: I don’t mind Simon and clary in the show dating and the way they end things is not as harsh as it is in the books. maybe clary (I’m being kind lmao) actually cares about Simon in the show but still kinda uses him at times

4. might be the only thing I’ll say about the books that’s nice but it would’ve been cute to see the vacation storyline (eldest curses) in the show. would’ve been cute to see a Malec holiday and moving towards them having children 🥹

5. Maia doesn’t get enough credit. she’s one of the few sensible people on the show and gets more attention than book Maia ever did

6. speaking of Maia, I’m glad they didn’t go too extreme with the Jordan plot. in the books, I think she was made to feel to get over how Jordan treated her. but man, why does the actor have to be attractive 😭

7. I really like Maryse and Luke together. they fit each other quite well. Maryse has some of the best development in the show and I loved seeing her grow

8. glad Jocelyn was killed off. she was more insufferable in the books so glad the show decided they didn’t need that energy

9. Jace and clary are both clearly insufferable but it’s worse in the books. I feel like in the show they’re still pretty bad but it’s a little tamed

10. Alec deserved better than jace. dude had the audacity to act as though Alec is a fling, expected Alec at his beck and call to do whatever he wanted while not understanding or caring about Alec’s feelings and his needs, practically invites himself at Magnus’s place while being the worst roommate, and then taking for granted all the people who sacrificed (MAGNUS AND HIS MAGIC LITERALLY THIS LOVELY MAN LOSES HIS MAGIC AND HIS HOME AND HIS MIND) once again to help his worthless ass

11. wish they wouldn’t have killed ragnor off. we got to see a lot of vampires and wolves but not a lot of warlocks. would’ve been great to see more of Magnus’s friends. you could seriously make a whole show based off on Magnus and his life

12. kinda wish they kept camille around. I know she was drama for malec in the beginning but she’s still a very fascinating character

13. I’m 100% thankful for the show not following the books and creating their own world

14. I would’ve loved to see more of the alternate universe episodes. one of the best episodes

15. ALL THE MALEC PARALLELS. these two beautiful and desperately, devoted, in love with one another men are seriously the best part of the show 😭 the fact that there are no cheating stories (when Alec is all drunk, underhill is flirting and all Alec can talk about is Magnus. Magnus defies bisexual stereotypes when dot tries to kiss him.), no taking away immortality or throwing fits or bierasure, or any toxic storylines is one of my fav things about Malec. they’re just two beings who are so in love with one another, who communicate, and are just completely devoted to each other. and it’s one of the reasons why everyone was so hooked on Malec. they’re healthy but you’re also excitedly rooting for them 🫶🏼

16. Clary deserved to lose her ability with runes. the angels message was to not use her rune ability for whatever she pleased but she took advantage of it. but I will say, some helped but I feel that the rest she just used because she didn’t care

17. season three breakup wrecked me and I’ll not emotionally recover from that. it breaks my heart seeing Alec break his own heart and Magnus’s all so Magnus can have his magic and be whole again. I’m so glad they got married in the end 💓

18. I’m glad the twinning rune went to clary instead of jace because how many times does this worthless fucker need saved????? SERIOUSLY HOW MANY

19. I think Magnus recognizing what Alec needs at the beginning when they meet is beautiful. I don’t think it’s creepy (as some book fans state.) and it shows that Magnus understands that Alec is not ready to be out. I’m glad Magnus doesn’t get shitty with Alec on not being out like he does in the books

20. also book vs show thing. I actually like the whole marrying Lydia plot. I get the whole grand gesture of kissing in wherever they were- sanctuary???? (y’all cannot pay me enough to read TMI again, I will not go through that torture again) but I really hate that it’s not even in Alec or Magnus’s pov. CC makes a point of giving characters she chooses to have unnecessary pov

21. I probably forgot something but I mainly skipped all the clace content that didn’t involve Alec or Magnus but otherwise, messy show but so amazing for the Malec content. Izzy, Maia, Raphael, and Simon are a bonus as well. I’m just saying that the show could’ve been a whole lot worse lmao

[remusbutfemale]

Just other Dps hcs because idk I like doing them:3

TODD IS ACTUALKY ME so

Todd hcs…where do I start

He definitely plays some sort of instrument, maybe the piano. But he was forced into it and doesn’t associate himself with it unless it’s brought up.

“My mom was thinking of buying a piano” Charlie would probably say and Todd would be like; “oh cool, I play the piano” and everyone’s like ‘what the fuck? You play the piano????’

He’s queer. Do I really have to elaborate here?

He def wasn’t entirely sure on his whole sexuality for a while, but he knows he isn’t straight. So that makes me wanna say he’s unlabeled, he is just a silly guy!

holds stuff off until last minute

“Did you do the Latin homework?” Neil would ask, and Todd would be like 😨 bc he didn’t really forget but he also just forgot it was due the next morning

Neil

he definitely does method acting, especially for puck

He would act like his character in the play during the school days, just for fun; maybe even when he was in his dorm with Todd. (Im gonna pretend he’s alive to not want to die) when he got a bigger role he would go out of his way to put himself in that character’s shoes until he had to film.

He has a collection of rocks I just know it dawg

“Neil what the fuck,” Charlie would say and Neil would turn confused as hell obvi, and Charlie found his little trinket drawer, like yeah he collects other stuff but bros entranced by rocks. “Oh yeah my rocks! Do you like them?” He would ask and Charlie would be like “yeah, I guess.”

His favorite season is summer.

He would LOVE summer, he definitely swims and is outside the entire time. He would probably be deathly afraid of bees tho, would scream and cry when he seen one. He loves summer but hates bugs, he loves butterflies.

steven :3

I have a strong feeling when he was playing soccer he broke his glasses, this happened at least twice.

He would be like ??!?? And stare blindly at his broken glasses on the ground, squinting HIGHKEY. And wouldn’t get a replacement for a day and just be extremely blind trying to see the board in his classes.

doesn’t know how to cook, like at all. OR BAKE he cannot be in a kitchen without fucking it up.

“How the hell did you mix up 1 ½ cups of milk with just half??? Now we have to restart!” Gerard would say; I feel like they’d just be baking at his house during winter break because they have nothing better to do. And Meeks somehow fucked up the bread by adding too much milk and pitts is just like ?!!? How the hell?????

a piece of shit tbh LMAO like in a humorous way

“Cameron you fucking dumbass how did you fuck that problem up? It’s literally sooo easy— don't be mad at me you’re an idiot!” Or like “couldn’t be me, I would never be that down bad especially for a girl— with a fucking boyfriend you weirdo” to knox

SPEAKING OF now its Knox’ turn

we all know he’s a hopeless romantic but I wanna feed into it

He would be on about Chris to Charlie and he would just be like, “okay I genuinely couldn’t care less”. And then he would also read love poems, would be into Romeo and Juliet tbh, probably would imagine him as Romeo and Chris as Juliet.

I genuinely have no hcs for this man so all of these are probably ooc.. but he PROBABLY knows every type of bird to exist, he just looks like that.

“Is that an ancient murrelet!??” He would say looking at a bird sitting a couple feet away, and Neil would be like “how the fuck do you even know that”

Okay this one’s just for me to laugh at

When he was talking to Chris when they were on their way to Neil’s play, knox fell on his ass and it was a really awkward walk there; they didn’t talk and it was just really really awkward

Charlie dalton😈

Don’t get me started

This boy gets on every teacher's nerves like.. he’s just an arrogant piece of shit im sorry😭

“Mr dalton PLEASE sit down” the teacher would ask for the 15th time as Charlie would mess around, and then he would get sent to Nolan’s😭

So so bisexual like it’s insane

He flirts with Neil a lot— as a joke but he thinks Neil is attractive. He also thinks women are hot, I think he has a preference for women but will date a man without a thought. Todd definitely asked one time “are you gay?” And he would be like “I dunno— maybe for your boyfriend” and then Todd would be like “HES NOT MY BOYFRIEND I DON'T EVEN LIKE NEIL LIKE THAT” and Charlie would say “I never said Neil”

Never shuts thebfuck up

Yapper of the year award goes to Charles Dalton like im so fr, the poets love him but Jesus he talks too much😭

[cyanrendipity]

I did it, I finished a full moon before the weekend, even with all the overtime work I had to do 😵

Coincidence that it was the fullmoon with no boss fight? Maybe

Ryoji Is great I'm so happy there was more time spent with him in this version 💖

First I gotta talk about Ryoji's new portrait, UNSURE IF I LIKE IT OR NOT I think it looks a little strange but its not like his old portrait was great, was it? (I remember not liking it when I first played but now I do)

What we are REALLY MISSING OUT on reload is his sad face tho, what do you MEAN he doesn't hide his face on the scarf cutely 😔

I was melting at his linked events tho. I'll admit I have not played the femc route on p3p yet so being spoiled with so much Ryoji is a new experience 💖 But they should have committed to him being bisexual, I have seen that he says to the femc that he would like her even if she was a guy but all they added was plausible deniability "Ryoji is about to confess to you but gets interrupted", it's kinda sad they didn't let him actually say it more directly

Like I KNOW this pretty obviously meant he was about to confess and if you say it was something else you're in denial but I am greedy, I needed him to actually say it (I'm just mad at yaoi bait)

Anyway, about his linked during the school trip my guy is KINDA REALLY FUNNY

I think they were trying to shove a lot of things into these short events and it makes the variety of subjects SO FUNNY cause like he's talking about how great things are and then suddenly he goes "btw everyone is gonna right? Then why even create relationships with each other we're just gonna suffer at the end :/" and then "btw I love spending time with you isn't this kinda romantic :)" meanwhile mc is just standing there, amazing stuff

It's funny cause that was one of the main reasons I disliked Akechi in persona 5, his social link never clicked with me so it was like he was talking at me implying he had a connection with joker that I did not see. Ryoji is right tho, so true Ryoji this IS romantic tell me more (I'm totally unbiased)

Also finally finished Akinari's social link, and it pulls on my heartstrings as always but I always forget he just poofs into thin air at the end lmao- ok I had to check the ps2 version and I wasn't wrong, he DOESN'T disappear into sparkles there, ngl I think the ps2 version is less distracting of whats happening less than Reload, that was VERY SILLY for such a somber moment, plus the ps2 version has him blinking in and out of existence and slowly disappearing instead of a sudden POOF

But I really like this

I'm not good enough with words to express why I love it but it's amazing. It was very impactful to me even tho back when I first played and my english wasn't good enough to fully grasp what was happening.

Speaking of not good enough english WHAT DOES APPRISER EVEN MEAN (I had to listen to what he was saying in japanese to throw on google translate cause even googling what's an appriser didn't help, and turns out he's just the announcer of death, smh my head)

The full moon event was great, I loved the animation. Poor Ryoji, poor Aigis 🥲

Now it's time for "lets kill Ryoji or not?" as if killing this cutie was even an option

[thecircularsystem]

Monthly Journal - Jan 2025

We're over halfway through January, so I'm starting this draft now. Some of this might be recycled from the December journal, since I never... actually managed to get that one out. Forgot the draft existed! Let's hope that doesn't happen this time.

Update: And now it's the last day of January, and while I did not forget, I am sick as hell. Still, I would love to get this post out and actually like. Posted. I want to start making these records for myself.

Through some of the syscourse convos I've been having (sysconversations, if you will, lmao lololol I'm so funny), I’ve been really starting to realize that, while I’m a traumagenic DID system, I really do relate to endogenic systems as well. We really aren’t that different — and I’m not sure why I pushed so strongly that we were, at one point. I mean, I can recognize that I’m not that different from a singlet. Why would I be that different from an endogenic system?

All of the recent syscourse experiments have definitely contributed to that mentality. I’ve been more and more curious about tulpamancy, especially as a system with created parts. I used to think that I couldn't consider any of those parts to be tulpas whatsoever, and now I'm really starting to learn... it doesn't matter. I can identify however I want, and the thing is, as long as I'm working toward my healing and recovery, I think that's okay.

The weird thing is, I still don't identify as endogenic at all. And... I think that's alright? I think it's fine and dandy, even if some of them could potentially fit that label... I don't find the label personally helpful. And that's all labels should be -- things that help me achieve my goals, whatever those may be. It's like how I (Curt) (Not Curt who's editing this, but here we go) identify as a pan dude, but bisexual also could fit. God I remember the bullshit we got into with that at one point in time. There'll be discourse about it, sure, but at this point, I don't think it matters. I just want to be me.

Let's see... At this point, Rice taking over the writing. We just had a co-front blend for about three days straight with Roy and Tavi, which is... bizarre? But also was the best we've felt in a blend, ever. It was... actually kind of hard to bring them away from each other when it came time to switch. It felt comfortable. Which has been happening more and more recently. I had a good conversation with Hiiragi about fusion, which made me feel a lot better about calling these blends.

I think I'm scared. I'm scared of these blends becoming permanent fusions. I know those two loved it, and it felt good, but Roy and Tavi both have their own lives too, and I don't think it would feel good to have them both trying to live their own lives, as one. We like being multiple. We love our systemhood, exactly as it is.

I think... it's okay to be scared, though. It's okay to be concerned about what it might feel like. It's uncertainty, right?? Letting that fear hang over my head and control me isn't good, but I do... need to feel fear, sometimes. Like, I think it's normal for people to feel fear. Especially at the idea of the way I've lived my life for nearly 8 years now suddenly changing drastically.

We've been playing a lot of games lately! It's been a lot of fun. The house is underway, though it's so much slower than I wanted. I keep getting sick, which is NOT helping matters. Working on not feeling guilty about being sick. Mush has been doing well, though they've had their own struggles. As always, I'm so grateful for them helping me.

I think, in terms of goals for this year with my systemhood... I think I just want to work on forgetting less. My goals really rely on functionality more than anything, and the forgetting is hard. There's no rhyme or reason to it, it feels like. I just... forget, constantly. And that leads to problems, and I hate how much of a burden I become to others because of everything I forget.

Roy here now, all sorts of folks in this post now. We've been thinking a lot more about how we're currently in some sort of stage of recovery. I'm not sure what that stage is, but I can tell I'm far better off than I was. I mean, I didn't have therapy since last Monday, and while I can't say it's been an easy ride... It didn't really impact me much? I want to check in with my therapist ofc, and I don't want to stop therapy entirely, but I've gotten so much better at managing my emotions. But at the same time, I feel a lot of gaps in my memory recently, and we've been dealing with more "ah shit oh fuck well. that's done." trauma memories recently.

I guess, at the end of the day:

Want to work on recovery

Want to work on cutting out syscourse even more (we blocked the tag, which actually helped a lot, and we have managed to look a lot less)

Want to work on fronting differently and forgetting less

Want to work on getting my house in order

Want to work on writing (as always -- I'm super behind on it again lmao)

Want to work on my health, like physically. I'm so tired of always being sick.

[neve-gallus-girl-detective]

i rarely use twitter anymore (except for nsfw purposes) and i'm so glad i don't because it's become a cesspool of the worst people sharing the worst opinions in an echo chamber of said terrible opinions. i saw a thread the other day about why this person thinks aj is non-binary and their "proof" and i was like what the fuck!! she is a real person!! why are we making headcanons about real people!!

when did people forget that celebrities are real people with real lives and are affected by the things people say? why are we treating celebrities as characters? when did we completely lose our sense of boundaries? celebrities are not your best friends and they don't know you exist!! and they're not sending you secret signals through their social media/music/outfits to tell you they're secretly gay/bi/lesbian/trans/whatever *glares at the taylor swift fandom*

like even if aj was non-binary or taylor swift is secretly bisexual/gay/whatever, it's none of our business! celebrities don't owe us anything and fandom stops being fun when you act like you're owed something because you're a fan and you want things to be a certain way

-🐙

I think the ubiquitousness of the internet has eroded our sense of what is appropriate to think about and do to other people. Like someone makes a tiktok, it blows up, a thousand strangers comment like they personally know the person, the person responds because they suddenly feel all this pressure, etc. Every video/comment/post/etc is now seen as a conversation starter, when really people aren't always seeking attention or interaction people outside their circle. That's just regular ass people, too.

Celebrities and big names know that they have reach and know that they're being speculated on and watched and that opinions come with the territory. It still probably doesn't feel great to see a bunch of strangers assume they know you on a personal level because you make a couple tweets and post about your life occasionally to stay relevant. Like, Paget is doing her own thing and she's thrown out comments about dating/sleeping with women, so like there's some room for gossip, but like not at her! Not tagging her! You don't know her like that! You don't know her at all!

AJ is private and only shares little things and mostly uses social media to promote appearances and projects. She doesn't seem to interact with people she doesn't know, and she probably isn't actively looking for that. To start speculating on her gender identity (a deeply personal thing) where she can see it is WILD. She's a whole ass human who is likable exactly as she is now. We don't need to be making up theories about potential queerness to what? Justify liking her? Make her more relatable? She's a rich white mom who lives in a big house in California where she also works as a Hollywood actress. She's not relatable lmao I do like her tho and I enjoy seeing pics of her and stuff, but like literally who cares if she's nb or queer?

[nicoappreciation]

thots on tsats

okay this is gonna be very long and extremely rambly and not very planned out ok? ok. spoilers under the cut

FINE. I LIKED IT. WHATEVER. hit me with a car.

obviously there were parts of it that i didn't like. obviously there were moments that i felt were out of character. nevertheless, i had a lot of fucking fun while reading it. i love nico and overall i'd say i'm happy with where the story leaves him. yes, this book's existence is extremely unnecessary. but i appreciate it for what it is.

okay let's get the main things i didn't like out of the way:

nico would NOT know who lil nas x is. also why was the montero music video mentioned in a book for middle schoolers.

i understand the role that nyx is meant to play in the story and the message of it but idk i kinda wish they did her character a bit differently. she really reminded me of white diamond from steven universe i'm so sorry.

speaking of nyx that WHOOOLE weird "our children" thing with nico and the cacodemons. that made me very uncomfortable.

last nyx complaint the final confrontation with her ended pretty anticlimactically. kinda like with gaea, it felt like the way to defeat her was a little too simple. but y'know i haven't really been satisfied by a final battle since tlo so. that's just how it is.

it felt like will was kiiiiinda useless for a lot of it. obviously he was important for the story but i wish they had let him do some more cool stuff besides occasionally shooting some light lasers. i get he's a healer but why didn't he bring a WEAPON??? like at the very least he could have had a bow or a knife. y'know we haven't really had a character who uses a blunt force weapon as their main one besides hedge. i would've liked to see will with just a baseball bat or something LMAO.

kind of an add-on to the last one i think that will was nerfed wayyy too much. it makes sense that the underworld would weaken him, but it sometimes felt like they were stopping every five minutes to let him rest. we've seen before that he's quite strong and athletic, i just feel like he should've had a bit more stamina.

there were a few dialogue moments that sounded like they came from some extremely online gay teenager and not nico and will. "bisexual chaos" haunts me. he would not fucking say that.

NO HAZEL APPEARANCE and NO REYNA MENTION. this is the worst one.

i feel like tartarus should've been more physically dangerous. like they fought some monsters here and there and the terrain was hard to navigate but most of the dangers that they dealt with were more mental/emotional. you could argue that we got the physical danger from percy and annabeth's journey so that's why this one focuses more on the mental danger and i could see why you'd think that. but idk sometimes it felt like it was a little toooo easy y'know.

there were some parts of the backstories and flashbacks that were inconsistent with the previous books, like nico saying he spent weeks at camp half blood when he first arrived when he was actually there for only one. but continuity errors are just par for the course with these books at this point so it honestly doesn't bother me too much. we make our own canon.

i'm not a fan of the name cocoa puffs. i feel like they could've come up with something better.

i'm sure there are more that i'm forgetting, but those are my main gripes. okay now onto the things that i liked!!!!

the book was fun. it was just fun. there were some jokes that i genuinely laughed at and there weren't really any points that felt like a slog to read through. i was pretty consistently entertained the whole time.

WILL AND NICO WERE CUTE OKAY. THEY WERE CUTE. maybe this is just 12-year-old me talking but i sincerely found their relationship very sweet. it's abundantly clear how much they both care about each other and what they're willing to do to protect each other. they mean a lot to me okay.

i want to specifically draw attention to the part where it was revealed that nico gave will his skull ring and now he wears it on a necklace. absolutely devastated me. changed my life. people died. in a good way.

I LOVEDDDD the tension and conflict that will and nico had between them for most of the book. it made their relationship so much more believable to me! they haven't even been together for a year! they're complete opposites! they had very different upbringings! they're in an INCREDIBLY STRESSFUL AND DANGEROUS SITUATION in an environment that is literally designed to dig up their biggest frustrations and insecurities! they're going to clash and have fights and have very different worldviews that they need to work through. that doesn't make them a bad couple like i've seen some people say. tell me you've never had a loved one say something hurtful or ignorant to you. tell me you've never said something hurtful or ignorant to a loved one. you can't! because you have! but if you love each other you talk about it and work through it and try your best to understand each other!!!!!!

adding to the last one i like how the conflict got resolved by will realizing he needs to put in more effort to understand nico and nico realizing he needs to open up more to allow will to understand him. open and honest communication and a willingness to be vulnerable babey!!! if you want to be loved you have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known!!!!!!!

I LOVED. THE DREAM SEQUENCES. they all went so hard. some of them were downright disturbing. good shit.

even if they had some continuity errors, i enjoyed the flashback scenes and the backstories. we got quite a lot more than i thought we would. i was not expecting to see the entirety of nico's first journey through tartarus. it hurt me a lot.

i think it's cute they're making it canon that nico and will knew of each other since pjo. they were in each other's orbit before they even knew it. it actually got me thinking about some of my own relationships. i have a friend i knew back when i was 4 who i completely forgot about for years, only for us to reconnect by chance when we were 12 and be best friends ever since. i have a friend who was a vague acquaintance of mine for years, but then one day we somehow started talking more and now they're one of the closest friends i've ever had. idk. something about meeting someone once at the wrong time and then again at the right one.

nico was very cool. he was also a massive dweeb. he can do both. i love him.

i like the cacodemons as a very literal metaphor for learning to live with your trauma and the "worst" parts of yourself. celeste vibes dare i say. also nico just has a bunch of lil guys following him around now and i think that's neat.

fuck man. i like seeing nico be happy. i like seeing him in a happy relationship with someone he loves and who loves him just as much. i like that he's still learning to let go of his grief and move on. i like that he's hopeful at the end of the book that he can actually find happiness. he's always been one of the most tragic characters in the pjo-verse and it's so nice to see him just being HAPPY.

despite how hard to believe it was i did really like the little dream scene with the whole di angelo family. nico got to talk to bianca and maria one last time, he got to hug his dad, he finally got to rest for a bit. it was very cathartic and i maybe cried.

this book's message was very clearly for young queer kids who don't have everything figured out yet. you're allowed to change. you don't have to always be one thing. your past doesn't define you. you can find love. you can have hope. no matter how badly written you believe the story is, no matter how inconsistent you believe the characterization is, it's hard to deny how important these messages are and how badly some kids need to hear them. if the book has one redeeming quality, it's this.

so. yeah. i liked it. i had a good time. there's more that i could say but i would honestly just end up adding onto this forever. people who don't like the book have plenty of valid reasons to feel that way, even if i may not agree with some of them. at the end of the day, this story and these characters are not real. please be nice to each other and try not to take things too seriously. we're all just a bunch of late teens and young adults reading a book series for middle schoolers, and i think that's beautiful. thank you for reading if you actually made it this far, i know it was a lot. peace and love on planet earth.

[alexiaugustin]

so after all these early reviews where people were praising s&b netflix for accurately representing jesper's bisexuality and the director and writers patting themselves on the back for their woke takes on jesper's bisexuality within the show all of this was.... simply people straight up lying lmfao. not once during the whole damn show did they ever lable jesper as bisexual NOR did they indicate that he was bisexual. some people really tried to convince us that we would get whole ass conversations between jesper and other characters that would make clear that he's bisexual, yet it never happened- except for ofc how could i forget,, that one conversation between inej and jesper where inej needs to remind jesper to focus on the heist instead of flirting with a stablehand because of course comic relief character jesper always gets distracted and is not to be trusted since he has a gambling addiction and is attracted to ppl as soon as they breathe near him cuz that's just how bisexuals are like! (but then again who knows if show!jesper is actually bisexual, they don't seem to want to specify that)

throwing in that random sex scene that did absolutely nothing for that plot and only existed for the woke points and to prove to us that jesper is queer (but god forbid making clear that he's bisexual tho!!) is still so fucking dumb i don't even want to get into that again, i've already talked about it and my opinion on it hasn't changed one bit. but given the context, the execution of that scene was even more unnecessary because they never made clear that jesper was bisexual even though he simply... could have had so many iconic conversations with inej and so on and so forth but they just... completely ignored the fact until they suddenly remembered "oh wait... jesper isn't straight right?? mhh what if we just let him make out with a stablehand in ep5 and then just move past this but still get the diversity points??😁". bisexual representation was erased from that show and queer representation nothing but an afterthought. also not suprised that even the host of that after show party or whatever else it was said that jesper is gay because yeah... they truly made it seem like that on the show, i don't remember him ever having shown any interest in girls OR him simply labeling himself as bisexual (cause obviously he doesn't need to like ""prove"" that he's bisexual by flirting with or talking abt girls) so if i wouldn't know the books i would have probably come to the same conclusion :) just imagine how flat lines like "just girls?- not not just girls" would fall if wylan showed up next season because as a show only viewer i would genuinely be like... he... likes girls?? since when lmao?

bisexual nina??? these writers have never heard of it and show only watchers will probably never hear of it either because... why give us female bisexual representation if she's in relationship with a man anyways? maybe all bisexual women who are in m/f relationships are secretly straight, aren't they?? :) they never even bothered to mention her in one single one of their interviews as if it's THAT hard to at least explain that the show will make clear that there are more lgbt characters n especially women in later seasons lmao.

so in conclusion, s&b netflix did exactly what modern media loves to do; making it seem as if a bisexual man is gay and a bisexual woman is straight and i feel like throwing my phone out of the window each time reviews praise "the bisexual representation" on s&b because it simply didn't exist.

[forestlingincorporated]

FIRST IMPRESSIONS OF YOUNG JUSTICE: DARK CRISIS #3

The nice thing about #2 coming late, was I didn’t have to wait long for #3. 

Tim, you useless bisexual. 

“Sorry Bart, Conner looked at me, can’t do the smart thing today.” 

...look, I know Deathstroke shot Bart, but it really doesn’t feel like The Most Traumatizing Thing that’s ever happened to Bart. For me, this event is preceded by Bart saving Tim’s life by catching Deathstroke’s bullet like a badass, and proceeded by Bart eating a library, two very cool things that kinda overshadow Bart getting shot. It just doesn’t seem as big as facing your evil bio dad or your father’s killer. And like... Bart died. Why isn’t he facing, idk, Inertia? You know? Someone he’s fantasized about killing? Because of his traumatic death? 

lmao Tim

So... Kon’s acting like a bitch in this first half of the comic, and I’m not sure how I feel about it. His emotions have felt Understandable until now, but I’m hesitant to be harsh about it because, like Cissie, I’m not sure if Conner is meant to be fully in control of himself? Like, I BELIEVE this is Conner, where I was unsure if it was even really Cissie, but I kinda wonder... if maybe Conner’s acting up because he’s more “under the spell” of this place than the others. And I say that because the harshness of it seems out of character, but semi-aligned with the harshness from Cissue, and even from Cassie at the start of it all. This place seems to be toying with their emotions, but it’s not really doing it all at once - Cissie starts acting like a bitch when Cassie stops acting like a bitch, Conner starts acting like a bitch, then Bart - who’s been very level-headed - starts to get angry and emotional, but Tim’s emotions are still very much in check and in line.

I’m not loving what I’m seeing in Conner this comic, so I’m CAUTIOUS, but I’m still veering on the side of It’s All Part Of The Plot.  

Aw, Bart, you’re breaking my heart.....

Oof. Okay, that’s actually... I mean, it’s not FAIR, but I’m understanding Conner’s emotions again. And again, I’m speculating this “world” is probably making things worse. But it’s easy to forget that Conner getting lost in Gemworld wasn’t like when he died - even though they keep bringing up when he died. When Conner died, for him it was like taking a nap and loosing a year. When he was lost on Gemworld, he had to live a whole new life, hoping every day his friends would save him, and that hope probably dwindled as the months and years went by. And when he was rescued, they tell him they didn’t find him sooner because they forgot he existed. And when Conner’s feeling fair, he knows they couldn’t help that, it was out of their control, but it’s GOTTA sting. 

I see you. 

I am glad Tim is holding Conner accountable for his behavior, though. Future boyfriends need to not take each other’s shit. 

Ok, but seriously, it is really nice to see Tim sticking up for Bart while not completely pushing Conner away, because Bart isn’t completely wrong... they DID see Bart as more childish than they were when they were young, and Tim and Kon ARE closer to each other than they are to Bart, and it’s HARD feeling like a third wheel when your closest friends are BEST friends with each other. Tim has historically been a mediator in his civilian identity at school and the like, and he’s fought with Conner enough to know how to handle Kon when he’s being bullheaded, so it’s good to see him taking on that role when Bart and Kon fight. 

Oh, Bart, you’re such a sweetheart. Bart deserves all the good things. 

1) That’s... certainly an explination. I can see the hand of the author, lmao, and I’m not sure if it’s because she wrote this plot and then saw the continuity police on twitter and had to fix it, or if she just didn’t like how Kon finding out about Tim and Cassie (or maybe the death cult / cloning? unclear?) was origionally written, but I see we’re just taking some of Kon’s memories of the old timeline, chucking them into a shredder, and calling it a day. It’s officailly been yadda yadda handwaved.  

2) ......yeah, so, we’re building up to that conversation between Tim and Kon, right? You know... THE conversation, that was teased? ......it seems like they’re gonna Talk about When Kon Was Dead, and mayhaps how that relates to Tim’s coming out. I’m seeing where this is maybe going. 

This is why I’m suspecting bitchy!Kon is the doing of whatever fucked up being is messing with them, cause this feels... so in-character, lmao. I can’t even follow Kon’s thought process, but something in this conversation seems to have surprised some sense into him, and he suddenly feels a lot more like himself. 

Which gives me some hope for how Cissie’s been written. 

THAT is legitimately hilarious. 

You two with the tender, touches, and the eye contact, and the I Need Yous, fuck.....

[karasunology]

⸙ ˚₊ ➷ THE MIYA TWINS & BOKUTO KOUTARO AS YOUR OLDER BROTHERS ! ❞

╰─ ─ ﾟheadcanons of the best twins & ace of my heart being your older brothers.

✐ . . . BIG BROTHER HEADCANONS.

[ OIKAWA TOORU & KAGEYAMA TOBIO VERSION. ] [ SUNA RINTAROU & KITA SHINSUKE VERSION. ]

-ˏˋ ➶ character(s) ━ bokuto koutaro, miya atsumu & miya osamu <3

[ trigger warnings ━ slight manga spoilers !! ]

-ˏˋ ✉️ REQUESTS ARE ALWAYS OPEN.

⇣ please read the RULES before requesting.

MIYA TWINS.

➜ oh my goodness, i pray so hard and dearly for your parents because y'all are WILD WILD

➜ when you guys were young, you know those videos of twins confusing their baby on who's their parent??

➜ yeah THESE TWO TRIED IT WITH YOU

➜ it was probably atsumu's dumb idea

➜ he watched it a few days ago in youtube

➜ so he suggested it to osamu which begrudgingly accepted, curious on how you would react

“ c'mon, come to big brother 'samu ”

➜ atsumu says as he stretches his arms out to you while you're oblivious poor innocent ass was doing the grabby hands to him

➜ ngl you looked so cute he felt a little guilty for what's to come

➜ while osamu sits next to him with a monotonous expression

“ no, i'm big brother 'samu ”

➜ your head spun to his direction

➜ and you're just like 👁👄👁

➜ while switching left and right in confusion as you dropped your arms down so fucking fast LMAO

➜ while atsumu was trying so hard, really he promised he won't laugh so soon, that osamu keeps pestering him to shut his bitch as up

➜ until the faintest of sobs were heard, forcing their mini argument to a halt

“ will you stay quiet ─ ”

“ ─ oh no no no, please don't cry ”

➜ osamu is in distraught because he actually doesn't know how to take care of a child crying

➜ while astumu is trying to carry you

“ hngg i ─ hic ─ want big brother 'samu ─ hic ! ”

➜ bitch almost wanted to drop you right then and there honestly

➜ he's like ??? DOES THIS BITCH EVEN KNOW I EXIST EYE??

➜ and when osamu heard you calling out to him, something in him snapped

“ i knew this was a bad idea ─ ”

➜ as he shoved atsumu off of you, hugging you as he tries to coo you, whispering “ shh . . don't ya worry, yer big brother 'samu is here ”

➜ this MANS OHMYGOD

➜ your cries seemed to have ceased as atsumu is standing there like ??

➜ i'm thEIR BROTHER TOO !!

➜ bb boy held a grudge on you for a few weeks ngl

➜ but then you grew up and now you know that you actually have two (2) big bro 'samu

➜ but more annoying & bitchy

➜ you're their favourite victim to bully

➜ well, atsumu

➜ but they won't let their teasing lead to you crying because they actually can't stand the sight of their younger sibling crying

➜ contrary to popular belief, when you realized there was another big bro 'samu, you were now attached to atsumu while he's similing smugly and triumphly at osamu

➜ atsumu would 100% be very competitive for your attention though he makes you hate him whenever he bullies you

➜ but we all know osamu hates losing

➜ so there was definitely a time of your life that their fighting over who was the best big brother

➜ ugh y'all cute cute

➜ while you're helping osamu around the kitchen, atsumu would just watch from the side lines because the kitchen is kinda yours and osamu's thing

➜ though while in his earlier years, he'd get upset because he wants you to hang out with him too :(

➜ while you have the cooking thing with osamu, you have the baking thing with atsumu

➜ shh hear me out

➜ osamu is actually not good at baking shit

➜ the first time he attempted baking was when you joined a baking club & now you're obsessed with making cupcakes and all that good good

➜ and he wanted to also try and back

➜ and how and what did he do to make your cupcakes look like dog shit was beyond you

➜ and while smelling something burning, atsumu ran to the kitchen and after realizing what osamu did

➜ he'd try and make your next batch of cupcakes presentable

➜ because he's?? actually?? good at it??

➜ and now you guys have your baking sessions and brother 'tsumu bonding time

➜ but even though you guys have other things with the other person, you guys LOVED doing chores together

➜ like, your guys' mom would make the boys clean the bathroom and before you knew it, LIKE YOU WENT THERE JUST TO TALK TO THEM WHILE THEY CLEAN, you find yourself cleaning the toilet necause atsumu ain't doing that shit

➜ washing dishes?? that as well

➜ you and atsumu would be the ones washing while osmu would do the drying

➜ 11/10 of the time would leave you guys a damped mess

➜ while cleaning the kitchen, i absoloutely headcanon, like STRONGLY

➜ that you guys would just talk either about random shit, talk shit about someone honestly, or quote reality tv shows

➜ like one thing you would be sweeping the kitchen floor,  and while sweeping, you accidentally hit the trash bin hard that the contents flew out of it as it fell down the floor

➜ and atsumu's like : “ pooja what is this behaviour?? ”

➜ then something clicked in you that made you remember that one show bigg boss something

➜ and you'd be like : “ i'm sorry i kicked it ny mistake ”

➜ osamu would roll his eyes before joining you two :  “ you can't kick it by mistake ”

➜ “ then pick it up if it bothers you ”

➜ ugh y'all aRE ICONS

➜ y'all would be at the pool and atsumu would shout “ oh no my diamond earing is gone ”

➜ and osamu would reply “ kim, there's people that are dying. ”

➜ you'll be their biggest fan in the court

➜ whenever they play with you on the sidelines something in them just snapped and they'll be scoring points by points in a row

➜ they lowkey love to show off

➜ if you're a girl, every fangirl of they have would be wary of you at first, but then realized that you were just their little sister

➜ and to their bisexual fans, they would ngl have a huge ass crush on you too

➜ and if you're a boy as well, oH MY GOD WOULD THEY HAVE FALLEN AMD CAN'T GET UP

➜ LIKE BITCH THE MIYA GENES ARE THRIVING IN THE THREE OF YOU

➜ you bet they'd be throwing hands if someone decided to break your heart

➜ though, osamu would be the more rational one

➜ if they ever meet your s/o, atsumu would want to rile them up while osamu is just being calm but the scarier one of the two?? but he knows you don't need any protecting because you know how to do it yourself & you don't have any need for that

➜ 12/10 would recommend as brothers

➜ in conclusion, you guys may not always get along, but you know damn well they care about you and would apologize right away if they did something too far. and you guys are such good sibling goals😤

BOKUTO KOUTARO.

➜ definitely know how to deal with his emo mode

➜ since you guys grew up together

➜ and sadly, you didn't have an akaashi to help you out with it while you were young

➜ like he'd be the older brother but you would probably be the more mature one

➜ but while you guys were young, he was your knight & shinning armor

➜ like when you scraped your knee while trying to catch him, he'll do a 180° and bitch has never ran faster to you than that time

➜ & if you were crying because of it, he'll make stupid jokes but it'll always make you forget about the pain in your knee

➜ and it's one of those times that you could really see that he was actually older than you

➜ then he'll piggyback you back to your house

➜ homeboy be reliable even while he was young wow

➜ and even 'till now

➜ if you ever got sick or injured

➜ or god forbid, HEARBROKEN by someone

➜ a bitch will throw hands

➜ but before that he'll make you laugh & do his best to take your mind off whatever is causing you to hurt

➜ ngl you would always look up to him, even if he may seem childish

➜ he'll hang out with you the rest of the day, he doesn't care if it's a school day, he'll drag akaashi with him

➜ my boy here GIVES THE BEST ADVICES

➜ though he may reword them differently, but his advices never seemed to fail you

➜ fights don't usually happen, and if they do they're probably serious

➜ he's the type of brother that lets you sneak out the house

➜ he'll usually back you up in everything

➜ and this bitch would take the fall for your faults

➜ ugh WE STAN

➜ but also if you sneak out the house to your significant other, bb boy has to know their number, address, occupation etc.

➜ because he ain't having a broken hearted sibling

➜ and he just wants the best for you

➜ and in the future, though he may be busy with being a professional volleyball player;

➜ he'll always have time for you

➜ he'll cLEAR OUT HIS SCHEDULE JUST FOR YOU

➜ you're that urgent to him

➜ your his first best friend before volleyball

➜ speaking of volleyball, if you aren't found in the stands in his matches ─ he'll go TO EMO MODE Y'ALL

➜ because you're usually always there in his games and it makes him give all his 120%

➜ since he's usually busy, he'll ALWAYS have those covey sisters movie nights

➜ if ykyk

➜ he's a sucker for family bonding time ogey

➜ the type to binge watch all the hsm movies & know all the lyrics to all the songs

➜ the type to defend sharpay with all his might

➜ and you guessed it right

➜ sharpay is his favourite character

➜ no one tell me otherwise

➜ THE TYPE TO DUET SONGS WITH YOU

➜ HIS FAVOURITE?

➜ EVERY SHARPAY & RYAN SONGS

➜ HE'LL BE SHARPAY AND YOU'LL BE RYAN

➜ AND THAT'S ON BOP TO THE TOP

➜ hates horror movies

➜ so if you ever watch it with him, he won't leave your side for the rest of the night & will have a sleepover on the living room

➜ f o r t s

➜ loves doing ridiculous challanges

➜ your phone would be BOMBARDED with crackhead videos of him

➜ probably broke a bone or two ngl

➜ 100/10 would recommend as a brother

➜ in conclusion, he may not always be there, and would be a bit childish & needy at times; but you know that he would step up as a big brother for you ANYDAY, ANYNIGHT, ANYTIME. because how could he want the best for you when he's not being his best on his part?

-ˏˋ playing soleil's tape ˊˎ-

[ 📼 ] . . . tumblr won't let this post show on the tags now i have to repost them all over again phew chile. watch me throw hands😤

[dantelionwishes]

GENERAL

1. Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?

2. Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like?

3. What was their first kiss like?

4. Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)?

8. Who gets jealous easier?

1. Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?

The right answer would be that it’s a joint decision, but surprisingly enough, it was Cyrus! It was him because Poppy wanted to give Cyrus time to think and didn’t want to push him. I mean, the two had a showdown and broke down everything Cyrus stood for and built from the ground soOOOO

SOME BACKSTORY LORE TO ADD: (im so sorry its so long, skip to number 2 if you don’t want to read this–)

After defeating and capturing Giratina, Poppy (with Cynthia) leaves the distortion world and Cyrus himself is left in the alternate dimension since he says it’s almost “jail” enough if it’s some kind of punishment for his own deeds. Poppy points out that the MasterBall he used to capture Giratina was the one Cyrus gave him, reminding Cyrus that he gave it to him as “a promise to meet again.” So Poppy releases Giratina (although still bound to the ball) and places it in Cyrus’ hand. Poppy asks Giratina to take care of Cyrus for him (so right here, Cyrus both has Poppy’s Giratina and his scarf in the lonely distortion world). 

Cyrus stays in the distortion world (surviving because of the whole time and space doesn’t exist there) and Poppy visits every now and then! Cyrus, at the beginning, usually started hiding from Poppy in hopes that he wouldn’t find him there, but Giratina would always either pick up Cyrus and drop him to Poppy/ Giratina would pop up to Cyrus with Poppy riding on its back. Sooner or later after a few visits, Cyrus really starts anticipating these visits. Instead of hiding for the purpose of really being hidden away, he starts hiding almost playfully to challenge Poppy into finding him himself (without Giratina’s help) The one time this happens prolly creates some romantic tension when Poppy does find him HEEHDGHGHJD

The next visit is a bit tense on Cyrus’ side because Poppy is late/hasn’t visited in awhile. He starts thinking bad things, how his emotions have made him soft and is now waiting for the guy who tore him down both on the outside and inside. But at the same time, he’s a bit sad that he’s not visiting, saying that it might be better if that oaf forgot him, like how he forgets everything else…Poppy does arrive! Poppy questions why Cyrus looks so miserable, and much to his embarrassment, openly admits that yes, he did miss him and was wondering if he abandoned/ever coming back TENDER MOMENT CHOO CHOO Poppy offers, once again, for Cyrus to leave with him and he replies that he’s still not ready (still burdened with unnecessary feelings HJSGJSH)

“Not ready….for what?”

CYRUS DOESN’T SPECIFY……but we fuckin know its not just about being ready to face the world again but its also hes nOT READY TO ADMIT HIS GROWING FEELINGS WAHSGJHJEUHJSDH [EXPLODES]

2. Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like?

First official date, huh? Both weren’t a fan of the cold, and Poppy wanted to visit Cyrus’ hometown so they went around the Sunyshore area! Cyrus was still too embarrassed/ashamed to return to his hometown, so they settled for a date at  the Valor Lakefront. It was calm, had a seven-star restaurant, and was perfect for their slow pace!!

They enjoyed their meal and each other’s company, and at some point encountered a trainer who recognised Poppy and wanted to battle him! Poppy wanted to decline at first since it would be interrupting their date, but another trainer showed up and offered a double battle!! This was probably the first time they battled together as a pair, too :^DDD At the end of the day, they enjoyed the beachfront and watched the sunset together before reserving a room to sleep in at Hotel Grand Lake <3 

3. What was their first kiss like?

OK IM CONTINUING FROM THE LORE DUMP ABOVE: At some point, Cyrus actually comes out himself (LMAO get it) and Poppy is bout to enter the portal through turnback cave that you can access in sendoff spring, but sees someone already there AND ITS CYRUS WITH GIRATINA AND SHAYMIN HWOAHWAOAWH

Poppy sees Cyrus smile, enjoying himself with the two Pokémon’s company, literally drops everything, running to tackle hug him. OH THE TYPICAL ANIME FLOWERS RISE FROM THE IMPACT AND THEYRE ON THE MEADOW NOW HJGJHHJHJFG

Cyrus is obviously surprised that Poppy was there, telling him to get off because he’s heavy. Poppy is just kinda grinning cockily like “oh sorry I wasn’t thinking, anyway wow ur here u did it!!” kinda thing and Cyrus admits that he thought things through well enough and was confident to “come out” (aha–)

POPPY ACCIDENTALLY SEES THIS AS “COMING OUT TO HIM” AND KISSES HIM WHJHJDGHJASJA Cyrus is shocked but really likes the kiss!!! buT THEN HES LIKE 

“YOU BUFFOON I MEANT COMING OUT OF THE DISTORTION WORLD–”

“Oh. Ok but. You kissed back though.”

“………………..”

4. Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)?

For Cyrus, first relationship and kiss especially since he’d rejected the concept of emotion almost his whole life OOF

For Poppy, first boyfriend! He’s bisexual, but has only had experience with dating girls until Cyrus :^) He’s been attracted to other guys before, but never really dated them officially hehe 

8. Who gets jealous easier?

HE WOULD NEVER ADMIT IT, BUT CYRUS JSDGHJSJHDDFFJG Poppy is more protective while Cyrus is more possessive! 

“You have an incomplete spirit and are therefore not worthy.” [grabs poppy] “Now, if you will excuse us–”

[sotorubio]

I'm really confused cus ppl are attacking tiff for taking control of her life, saying she doesn't need to be rescued. I thought that's a good thing? But people are saying it's fake feminism because she was so mean to lola before. But isn't that the whole point of skam? People have this "shame" in their life that they grow from? Like how everyone wanted lola to be forgiven for stuff she did to other people in s6, (eliott, lucas, daphne, etc ,) because she had her own struggles but had grown /was growing from it? But with tiff we're not supposed to support her? It's hilarious how people have decided there's a right and a wrong way to react to clips and it you don't fit the "right" reaction box then you're some kind of heathen 😔

well if we're talking real life ofc something like that is a good thing, finding ur strength after going through trauma is always good n a common "feminist" trope is that a girl recognizes that she needs no man or whatever. i haven't been that active on here recently so i haven't seen the reactions to it but this season has not been a feminist one in the least no matter how many catchphrases they throw in there

above all this season is abt a cis, white, straight and rich girl so. failed step one. ppl need to understand that if feminism isn't intersectional it's worthless n this doesn't just mean they should've picked someone else for the role (which they should've, but there's more to it) u can't make a feminist season abt a white girl if ur gonna villanize all ur woc especially the black women. u can't make a feminist season abt a cishet, rich girl if ur gonna make the bisexual poor girl ignore the fact that this is the person who played w her trauma just a year before. u can't make a feminist season abt a rich girl if the previous season she was overworking her privilege to show how classist she was (which the fans love to forget bc they don't see poor ppl as oppressed lol) and again u can't make a feminist season abt a white girl if all her Cool Feminist Moments only happen when she's talking to a black man such as her snarky "that wasn't an invitation" when aurélien tried to kiss her or her physically attacking him bc he? cares abt their daughter? being consider a Powerful Mom Thing

if all this didn't exist sure it would be considered feminist for her to not need saving, but when we put it in the context of literally everything else we can see that this is yet another poor attempt at taking a cliché feminist phrase that u could see written by a male avengers movie director for woke points. ppl need to understand that tiff has huge amounts of privilege over both aurélien (being white) n max (being cis) so her being a woman doesn't even automatically place her social status "beneath" these men. even just outside of fandom shit ppl should understand that supporting certain women will inherently be anti feminist, just bc ur cheering on a woman doesn't make u feminist.

then second abt the shame thing & lola. the "shame" in all skam seasons has always been smth "innate" due to the lack of a better world. smth that the society shames u for. the isak seasons r abt being gay bc society makes ppl ashamed of gayness, but u don't think being gay is a "shame" do u? neither is being a muslim, but the sana seasons r abt that bc again the "shame" is smth society perpetuates. the fact that tiff was "mean to lola" (she was a classist, she told her to kill herself, she made her trauma n mental illness into her own little joke) is not her "shame" bc that was her choice....that's smth she chose to do she isn't misunderstood or oppressed bc she hates poor ppl lmao. if they made made a season abt the nico character would u say his shame is sexual harassment? i doubt it. bc that's not smth he's involuntarily shamed for that's an action he chose to take.

also tiff n lola's "forgiveness" or lack thereof isn't comparable. first of all i'm not sure why u mentioned lucas? she never rly did anything to him but he on the other hand has a shitload to apologize for to her. abt eliott & daphné i also don't quite understand bc as for daphné they had a mutually toxic sibling dynamic, both failing at communication n treating each other badly but like.. even in that situation daphné was literally stalking her sister so again not sure what blame lola has on her here. n for eliott i also don't get what she should've apologized for like if u mean the club clips then u r in the wrong place bc lola didn't even do anything bad other than be rude which every other character is also guilty of smfjlskd

like see the difference? tiff & lola's conflict wasn't mutual, tiff chose to harass n stalk her based on nothing at all, she was only able to do that bc of the privilege n power she (a white cishet rich girl) has over lola (a bisexual mentally ill poor girl). i don't see how those two r in any way comparable.

so i guess that's my explanation for it. as for ur last point i do agree i don't know why it's anyone else's problem how others react to clips but even then i do think we need to understand that skam remakes take pride in their "diversity" n "representation" so sometimes certain reactions actually r objectively wrong. like saying "i liked this clip" or "i didn't like this clip" is all cool n no one should get hate for that but if ppl watch a clip where certain stereotypes r used unironically n their decision is to actually enforce the harmful message n not waste any of their three braincells for critical thinking bc It'S jUsT FiCtiOn then u r not immune to me thinking ur a brainless idiot

[liberty-barnes]

Miah’s 1K Celebration

so...

welcome to the mess that is my 1k celebration cause i’m unable to make simple choices and can’t stand the thought of letting people down

as you can see, i’m perfectly normal

the literal 1005 people following me would disagree on that but heyyy details

so anyway

one thousand

one bloody thousand people following me

my inicial reaction is whyyyy??? i’m just a bisexual disaster who sometimes writes a half decent fanfic but you deemed me worthy of your follow?

then i started crying cause yk

but bottomline is, i love you all, you’re the bestest people in the whole entire world, so i’m gonna make both a sleepover and a writing challenge

sleepover cause i like answering questions

writing challenge cause it gives me a chance to show you all other artists and discover other artists myself cause we all need them and they deserve more recognition

special shoutout to my mutuals who i’ll tag at the end for always being there for me and supporting me through every high and every low, y’all are the real heroes here

BUT ANYWAY, ONTO THE CELEBRATION PART, WHICH FINDS ITSELF UNDER THE CUT OTHERWISE IT’D BE TOO BIG TO PROPERLY REBLOG (i tend to ramble a bit, but you already knew that)

Starts: December 11th 2020

Ends: December 20th 2020

Who can participate: everyone, anon or not! no need to be following me either

send me asks for:

✨ my opinion on...

🌻 cast my mutuals as...

🎵 i'll put my playlist on shuffle and give you a song

🍉 random fact about me

🦔 what's my favorite...

🍀 i'll give you advice (or just listen to you rant, if you want)

💬 last text [insert person] sent me

💌 handwritten letter

🎬 movie rec

📖 fic or blog rec

📘 inspiration behind [insert fic name], how i came up with it or if you have questions about it

🖋 line from one of my WIPs (tell me if you want fluff or angst, i won't tell you the pairing or anything, that's no fun)

💋 kiss, date, marry [insert people]

🎤 give me a song an i'll do a mini cover of it (it will be 1min long tops cause that's all tumblr can take lmao)

📷 random picture from my camera roll (you can request a theme if you want, like pictures from my childhood or awkward pics or something)

Rules:

• Open to anyone (don't have to be following me)

• Send me a DM or ask with the prompt(s) you want (two people tops per work) and who you're writing about

• Smut is allowed but make sure to put it in the warnings

• I will accept works for any Marvel character or cast member, part of the Holland clan, 1D member or affiliated, Teen Wolf characters or cast member, Maze Runner character or cast member

• Can be reader inserts or not, but please specify it in your DM/ask too

• Tag me when you're done

• All works will be rebloged under #Miah's 1k writing challenge and put in a masterlist that will be specifically created for this writing challenge

Starts: December 11th 2020

Ends: January 11th 2020

Prompt list:

1. “Is that my shirt?” “You mean our shirt?”

2. “Home stopped being a place when you entered my life.”

3. “Stop moving and let me braid your hair.”

4. “Could you say that again?” “Were you not listening?” “No I was, I just like hearing your voice.”

5. “Can you just please hold me?”

6. “You come here often?” “Well considering I work here, yes.”

7. “Can I stay here tonight?”

8. “You’re really warm.”

9. “I’ve been in-love with you since we were kids.”

10. “Why are you wearing my sweater?” “Because it smells like you.”

11. “You are crushing me right now.”

12. “Darling I love you and all, but please get out of my kitchen.”

13. "I leave you alone for five minutes and this happens."

14. "I didn't fall. The floor looked lonely so I wanted to hug it." "Then why are you crying?" "It was an emotional reunion."

15. "There's no such thing as too many fairy lights."

16. “I’m leaving.” “Of course you are, that’s all you know how to do.”

17. “I love you.” “No you don’t”

18. “Any other lies left to tell me?”

19. “I miss the old you.”

20. “What happened to their happily ever after?” “Not all love stories get a happily ever after, sometimes it’s just once upon a time.”

21. “Lie to me. I don’t care what you say, just lie to me. Make me feel okay again.”

22. “Give me one reason why I shouldn’t leave.”

23. "It's okay. It's not your fault that I couldn't be enough."

24. "Please don't leave me."

25. "You have the emotional range of a teaspoon."

26. "Will you shut up for once in your life?"

27. "This isn't about us."

28. "I will shove a christmas tree so far up your ass that when you open your mouth we'll see the fairy lights."

29. "I'm not crying, my eyes are sweating"

30. "Is that blood?" "Yes, but it's not mine." "Is that supposed to make it better?"

31. "I’ll drink to that.” “You drink to everything.” “Cheers!”

32. “Why is arson always your first answer?”

33. "What are you doing?" "What does it look like I'm doing?"

34. "I can explain!" "Then explain." "Okay, I can't explain."

35. "Get out of here with your facts. Just because you're accurate does not mean you're interesting."

36. "How many hearts did you break while trying to keep yours intact?"

37. "I know everything. It's in the job description."

38. "One more word out of you and I'll rip your throat out with my teeth."

39. "Do you listen to girl in red?"

40. "Is that code for something or am I just paranoid?"

41. "With how things have been going, I might as well start working at a circus."

42. "I love (him/her/them)." "Then why did you give up?" "Cause (he/she/they) deserved better."

43. "I want to ask but something tells me the answer will be more disturbing than anything I can think of."

44. "Do you think he's... *flicks wrist*?"

45. "Do I look like an idiot to you?" "Do you want me to answer that honestly or politely?"

46. "Just how clumsy are you?"

47. "So... the weather?"

48. "Just leave."

49. "Don't you fucking dare!"

50. "You don't have to talk right now. But whenever you're ready, if you're ever ready, I'll be here to listen."

tagging and complimenting my amazing mutuals cause y’all deserve it

@parkersbliss​ thank you for marrying me, first of all, and for being the most amazing wife one could ask. i wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you and i will never stop ebing thankful for your existence

@peterspideyy​ thank you for listening to my rants along with grace and supporting me during all my simping, you’re the sweetest thing existing since powdered sugar

@theamazingtomholland​ thank you for always putting a smile on my face, reminding me that i’m loved everyday and just being you, cause it’s the best thing you could be

@lozzypoz321​ thank you for listening to me rant abt my fics and how much i hate writing and then motivating me to write again or do basic things like get out of bed lmao (we still have the best taste in music)

@everything-is-alrightt​ kenzie lovely, thank you for being the pure little ball of unfiltered joy that you are cause even thinking about you and the jump shit your brothers get up to makes me smile like crazy, you’re amazing and don’t you dare forget it

@spider-trash​ thank you for being my brother, going alon with my ridiculous schemes for corrupting posie and making me laugh out loud every time you come up with something even worse, you’re the coolest bro i could ask for

and finally, thank you @fallinfortom​ for inspiring me to write in the first place, being an amazing mum to us, an actual good role model for me to have and for your random appearances in my dreams and the fun english teacher who makes us read tom holland fics instead of english literature. you’re amazing and i’m incredibly thankful to know you

love you all to the ends of the universe and back again, Miah

[claudiasjeancregg]

I hope this helps with the stress at least just a little bit <3 and I do understand wanting to write but not being able to, so if you want, write as much as you want with (specially 12!). So. Here we go! 14, 13, 12, 10, 1!

hey ariel thank you so much this literally made my entire day, i wrote a fucking essay so here goes.

1. favorite episode

EVIDENCE OF THINGS NOT SEEN, institutional memory, the supremes, drought conditions, holy night, the inauguration episodes, the midterms, noël... all of them. just. ALL OF THEM

10. something you wish had happened

oh my god SO MANY THINGS!!! cj/toby kissing in the 7.21 scene would have saved my entire soul, or really just a kiss at any point. i just wanted them to ADDRESS THE CHEMISTRY IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?? just confirmation that they dated at one point, or hooked up occasionally... god. ANYTHING! more canon specific, i really wanted a scene of donna in therapy or talking to josh about the ptsd / trauma she undoubtedly faced after gaza. when they F I N A L L Y got together, i wish they had more of a conversation about why she quit! because she HAD GOOD REASON to do it, and i wish had talked about how he had treated her after gaza. also, seeing how cj and toby had dealt with rosslyn, and more conversations about cj getting the COS role over josh and how he forgave her for that. just. MORE FOUND FAMILY CONTENT GODDAMNIT i could watch entire episodes of the senior staff + donna just hanging out, i love them to death. LAST ONE I PROMISE- CJ HAVING FEMALE FRIENDSHIPS. or friendships, period. god, i would have died for some amy + cj content swapping stories and making sarcastic jokes, cj helping amy to adapt to the white house after being in a different environment her whole career. CJ AND ANDY! i mean i ship the ot3 and cjandy to death, but even as friends! donna and cj!! the assistants all being friends! just. let these tired women have friends, that’s all i want.

12. headcanon(s)

yeah, i’ve... basically covered these BUT i always have more!!

first off- BISEXUAL CJ. bi cj!!!! it’s canon in my heart. this next one is less of a headcanon and more of a dream, but the ot3! cj/toby/andy is my favorite thing in the world and i love the three of them.

i think cj and josh were a lot closer than we see, and i have many feelings about them sort of being siblings.

also, hc that cj and toby ended up together after the show BECAUSE I NEED IT.

um, donna went to therapy! i feel like the show largely ignored the fact that she was the only one in the car who survived!! and so did josh, especially after he realized a part of the way he treated her after gaza was bc of his guilt about sending her there in the first place, and then donna almost dying.

okay let’s see... 50% of my brain is thinking of tww headcanons at any given moment so-

huck and molly grow up with auntie cj, who wishes she could be more of a parent but is so, so, so thankful for what she gets. i didn't really think cj wanted to get pregnant and have kids, especially with danny, but the show really threw that in there at the last moment lol. the reason for this is NOT “she’s too focused on her career,” trust me. i actually think cj’s mom died from breast cancer when she was pretty young, about 13. it’s heartbreaking, and miserable, and cj doesn’t smile for a month after. her dad was at a complete loss as to how to help her, since he was still dealing with it too. so for about half a year they co-existed in the same house, barely speaking. cj’s passion for politics and journalism eventually led her to come out of her shell more, about a year later, but she didn’t come back to the joyful person she used to be until college. she’s deathly afraid of passing the cancer gene onto her kids, which is why in my brain, the ot3 always had plans for kids but andy was going to get pregnant. (i talk about cj’s thoughts on actual canon andy’s pregnancy so much in my fic, so i should probably shut up now.) also i really think cj works herself to the bone after becoming COS, especially after toby leaves. he was the only thing keeping her from self-destructing, making her sleep and eat and remember to function. i can’t get over allison janney’s acting, the way you FEEL cj’s exhaustion. she has... no self- preservational instincts when it comes to doing her job as well as she can, and that really hurts her mental health, and like. SANITY. charlie and margaret know this and this duo practically running the white house might be my favorite thing about season 7.  also HOW DID THIS TURN INTO ONLY CJ HEADCANONS i have so many other ones!)

QUEER ELLIE BARTLET how could i forget? my random desire for ellie/mallory has no canon basis but i’m obsessed with them. tbh, i’m obsessed with all f/f west wing ships.

josh definitely has anxiety, that’s kind of canon. donna helps him manage it but after she leaves, his panic attacks become a lot more frequent and he forgets to take care of himself. also, i think cj has anxiety too.

WAIT WAIT WAIT IS THIS A PLACE FOR ME TO TALK ABOUT DONNA AND TOBY?!! aleena has a soapbox and she can’t stop, i’m sorry. okay so donna and toby are my favorite unlikely tww friendship, and i’m going to limit this to a few sentences but i will talk about this whenever anyone gives me an opportunity to. BASICALLY donna is the only person who doesn’t take any of toby’s bullshit, (who isn’t in love with him) and he underestimates her at first, yeah, but he is one of the first people to realize donna’s potential. and they have some very good, very small moments where he really sees her strength and she sees that he’s more than the stubborn grump he pretends to be.

i have so many headcanons about josh and toby, and cj and toby, and josh and donna, and cj and donna, and TOBY AND DONNA. josh teasing toby about cj. toby making fun of donna for being in love with josh because he says she’s too good for him but he loves josh like a brother despite what he says. HE SHOWS HER BABY PICTURES AND SHE GUSHES OVER THEM i don't make the rules!!!! anyways that’s NOT all of my headcanons, i just don't want to make you guys read any more lmao. thank you so much for indulging me, i would be thrilled to talk about more of these or to hear more of your headcanons! (this goes for anyone btw) THAT WAS SO LONG AHH.

13. character you wish you could be / aspire to be

cj cregg

14. on-screen crush

yeah, i’m a simple bisexual. cj cregg.

THAT WAS INSANELY LONG BUT SO FUN FOR ME, THANK YOU!!!

[tonyglowheart]

This entire thing is a rant, feel free to ignore it, but I saw your post about how destiel fans can’t win in this context, and yeah. So have some rambles.

I’ve been thinking about the fact we (current spn/destiel fans) can’t win all night... I’ve seen so many people talking about how homophobic it is - and while I would very much like to argue, as every point I’ve seen made by a non-spn fan has been wrong so far, if I did everyone inside the fandom would agree and everyone outside would either call me straight or pity me for believing it’s okay.

(Cas wasn’t even sent to hell lmao. He was sent to angel death (the empty), a place he has escaped in the past. Other points, like that meta about spn has been predicting exactly this for months, that Dean ended up sobbing on the floor because he was so upset, like that death means next to nothing on spn, like that there is two episodes left, etc etc. you feel me right? I just don’t want to post wank to other spn blogs atm, we’re getting enough frustration as it is, no need to add to it.

It’s also worth pointing out that the bar is very, very low. Spn is a prominent TV show - not a Netflix show, or indie, or whatever - and it just said “main character in gay love saved the world”. [insert gif of ghostfacers dude saying that gay love can pierce through the veil of death and save the day here]

I just saw someone saying that spn having Naomi try to brainwash Cas out of loving dean makes spn homophobic (it is a conversion therapy parallel). My first response to that is that Naomi was the villain lmao? I guess we can’t write villains doing anything homophobic because having villains do homophobic things makes, uh - checks notes - villains look homophobic, and clearly we can’t have that.

There certainly are legitimate things to criticise spn about, but this isn’t it lol.

Also now some people are unironically trying to cancel Jensen because “his acting was homophobic, and so he’s clearly homophobic”, nevermind that he’s an actor and his character struggles with understanding his emotions (which I think he played excellently, myself. That scene had a very Dean delayed emotional response), nevermind the support he’s given to us queers in the past. Like. Idek man.

We would have been laughed at if we got no destiel, too.

It would have been worse, had the writers pulled a dumbledore. At this point I also trust the writers not to pull a GoT - they have explicitly criticised that ending in spn’s canon.

Spn’s writers did that by making the main villain of this season, Chuck / God, say GoT had a good ending. To reiterate a previous point I had: villains do bad things because they’re bad. And the bad things they do make them bad. For the people out there not still following, if someone does something in a story and it makes them a villain, that is explicitly telling you the story (and probably the writers) thinks that thing is bad. In this case, Chuck likes to write things for him, and we the audience have been shown and told that is bad.

Apparently thinking a gay confession is good in 2020 makes me straight. Seems unlikely, but whatever. Sorry for the length, I guess I went overboard, I’ve been holding it in lol. Anyway, DESTIEL IS CANON 💚💙 hope you have a good night

Helloo supernatural anon I hope you are living your best life right now. Yeah I’m like..... skeptical and leery myself but having lived through some absolute garbage discourse that is general purity wank, as well as the C/QL greater fandom here and on Twitter I find myself... much more wanting to question the “general wisdom” of things esp in terms of negativity, bc a lot of the time I find.... it’s wrong? Like so wrong. Or at least presents such an incomplete picture of the whole situation and also presents it in such a removed context that words that have meaning and are operationalized in a certain way for a reason, no longer have meaningful usage.

Anyway I don’t... know too much about the specifics of Spn but someone I follow is into it and talks a lot about the Gnostic stuff and that all was very fascinating to me, and I also have been grappling a lot with cultural Christianity bc of cmedia and the way ppl just *clenches fist* unthinkingly or uncritically slap some Christian norms on it and call it a day 😩 help I’m Tired. My thing here being... I actually got tired of the uncritical “superhell”s at some pt bc I am, in fact, incredibly exhausted with cultural Christianity, and because it does seem like, even possibly(?) without the Gnostic stuff it’s different from a “hell” or other Protestant-derived afterlife concept, and also yeah that it wasn’t seeded out of nowhere, it was set up to happen, which then... lends credence to the idea that whatever the current era of Spn is doing, the current showrunners are doing it with purpose.

And idk I just... refuse to believe the concept that ALL of the fans of Spn - esp the ones who have been following it still, or got back into it and are following it currently, are acting under delusion or are fooling themselves into liking it or thinking it’s good or whatever. I personally find that kinda infantilizing and patronizing and playing into issues of dismissing things women and/or other marginalized identities like.

Plus I find the concept that (from what I think I’ve been seeing Spn fans say) that the current era of the show is quite actively grappling with itself, its past, its legacy. to be very interesting and compelling; it hearkens back to like an old lore kind of feeling, of a thing that has grown into a nigh undefeatable monster and realizing that, also realizing that the only way to defeat itself is through grappling with its own nature and transforming and transmuting itself into something else. I personally find that more plausible and compelling than “Supernatural has been actively and continuously queerbaiting for 15 homophobic homophobic years., so right now we’re all very sorry for you because this maybe is no longer queerbaiting but it’s still homophobic and it can never be anything different ever.” I’ve been sort of tangentially aware of Spn thru the years and didn’t we agree, around the time of that in-universe play about Spn and with the lil Destiel shoutout, that Spn has come a ways as far as coming to terms with its fandom and working to treat its fans better? Why the sudden regression into “oh no, Supernatural is and forever will be homophobic and a hate crime”? 🤔 

The rest under a cut bc the ask is already long and then my rambling will get longer-

But yeah I mean..... I get that the legacy of Supernatural has been certifiably Rough, but I think people also forget how different of a time 2005 was? Hell, how different of a time 2015 was, even, prior to, say, Obergefell v. Hodges. Now I’m not saying that to blanket-excuse Supernatural, but like, you look at mainstream shows from the era and... there’s a lot of shit lmao. The fact that Supernatural has existed this long seems to me like.... maybe we CAN look at how it’s developed through the years vs just insisting it is what it was 15, 10, hell, 5 years ago. Especially since, to my knowledge, there’s been showrunner changes? Which seems to me like it would... affect things? I mean honestly, I remember back when I got into Spn for a hot second because of Castiel, I remember watching panel, Q&A, etc vids thru the years, and like... I thought we agreed that... it was the fans who were going a bit far pushing the shipping question like literally ALL the time to the actors, who are not in control of the show and.... like at the time.... that could have had personal implications for them? And yes homophobia bad, and people can still be allies despite that, but again like.... I do feel like - from what I’ve seen - that these guys were NOT ready to deal with a lot of that but they’ve (okay Jensen I’m talking about Jensen here) genuinely grown and learned? Also how many years ago was the essay autograph thing that people keep trotting out, like what year was it in and what year of spn was it, and what were the prevailing opinions on LGBT issues and bisexuality then.

I’ve been seeing some murmurings of identity politicsing surrounding ppl who enjoy Supernatural, and I’m sorry that that’s happening to you, it really fucking sucks and it’s also the dumbest way to “make” or “win” an argument because it shouldn’t ever be a final determiner, just factors to consider when considering what life experiences might have informed someone else’s PoV and views as well as maybe how you can better communicate with them. Instead of it being a “weapon” or “tool” to either dismiss someone or de facto validate an argument.

Also yeah I get it that you don’t want to send discourse to spn blogs bc I imagine you guys ARE actively grappling with all the bs rn and it’s a lot. Even just from like, the stuff I see around, I’m like tired of it. I’m genuinely having more fun with ppl who are having a good time with Supernatural than the ppl who are hating on it, even in this sort of backhanded “oh we’re not clowning YOU we’re clowning the writers and showrunners who think you should be satisfied with this,” when... yeah? the people who HAVE been watching the show and therefore... know what’s up.. DO seem to be? And all this based on *fake gasp* context. And that’s where the backhandedness becomes kind of poisonous to me, because it implies that it IS bad, and that you SHOULDN’T be satisfied, but poor little you are but don’t worry, we’re not making fun of YOU for liking garbage, you’re just the hapless victim who is consuming the garbage bc... idk, whatever reasons ppl are coming up with ig.

idk man it’s 2020. Fandom isn’t activism, performative or otherwise, it’s okay to let people enjoy things even if you think they’re “objectively” bad, and like... I don’t know if people can call something bad when they’re not even working with the whole context and instead are dealing with rumor and reputation. 

[telling-our-stories]

Coming out stories

A heads-up. These are the original stories, however, they are anonymous. This wasn't intentional, I just screwed up and didn't tag. These stories, aren't mine, so if I've posted yours and you want it taken down. Please, just ask me.

Alright.

I am tired of people who are against the LGBTQ+ community. Its alright to have an opinion. It is not alright to put people down for being themselves. The first pride was a riot, a fight for what they believe in. I'm trying to do the same. I'm trying to gather the stories of the fallen, the ones who are still standing, the people who are willing to fight for everything they are. And I am fully willing to take a stand and fight to prove we exist. To prove that we're here, and we aren't backing down.

Hello, my name is Dustyn. I'm here today to collect stories from the LGBTQ+ community. There's a lot of people who are against us, which is exactly why we need to stand our ground. I'm not asking for a fight, I'm asking for your stories. My story is not yet finished, though I'm a bisexual trans male. Our stories are important, because they show who we are and how far we've come. I've struggled a lot in my life, but I've made it. So have others. Here are some of those stories. We'll start with mine. I've gone through many identities, mostly trying to figure myself out. I'm still doing that. My family doesn't accept me for me, but I have many friends who do. There are so many accepting people in life, and I appreciate all of you who are proud to be who you are. Whether closeted or not, you are all valid and amazing.

"Hello my name is Melissa and i am bisexual. My family didn't really have a harsh reaction to it other than the fact that they didn't understand it at first. That was most of my trouble was people saying that bisexual wasnt valid. Im sorry mine is so short but i think the moral is that you are valid. No matter what you identify as on any spectrum in the LGBTQ+ community. Also even if your outside of the LGBTQ+ community and your just an ally. We love you and you are all valid.”

"Salutations everyone. My name is Talan. I am non binary, panromantic and i am currently between asexual and demisexual. I was raised in a very christian household where my mother and father had very strict beliefs. They believed that being anything but straight and to me being anything other than my assigned gender was a sin, and many people still say that to me. When I came out to my dad he flipped, he took me out of school for a year and put me in online school. During this time in my life I had reached a dark time where i thought that it was never going to get better but trust me it does. I am still living with my dad who does not accept me and at this point we don't talk that much, but it does get better. We have gotten to the point where we can have a civil conversation with each other and im back in school. I have an amazing girlfriend and multiple qpps who i love very much. Everybody at school is very loving and supporting. Remember that family is not chosen for you, you make your own family. If you ever feel down than just know that there are so many amazing and kind people in the world who love you for who you are, no matter what that may be. You are loved."

“I'm glad you reached out to me, anything to help people understand more about the LGBTQ+ community. I am 19 now and I came out to my family at the age of 14. My parents were the typical ones who said it was just a phase and it would not last but here I am five years later and I made it through. There was a point where I had no one to turn to but then i met my amazing boyfriend. He helped me through the good and the bad and showed me that there were things to stay for. I am now in college and pursuing a career in photography at the University of Arizona. I hope that could help a bit!”

"Okay. Well. My coming out experience was definitely not expected in the slightest. I was in the 5th grade. Realizing that I liked both boys and girls was quite the revelation. I had a lesbian friend who was the first ever gay person I met or knew. I remember being backstage of a show I was in and just crying through the words, "I know I'm supposed to love guys, but I love girls too". After that. I didn't tell anyone else, until 6th grade. I was a track meet and a group of people I sat with was talking to my lesbian friend about kissing. I forget the exact conversation, but I spoke up and said I would kiss her. A Christian girl in my class was nearby and heard. She was disgusted. Therfore by the end of the week, I was completely outed to my entire school. It was ugly, but it got better over time I guess. I'm a junior in high school now. I have yet to come out to my parents, but at least I know that I am finally comfortable in my my sexual orientation and gender identify (demigirl, which I didn't figure out until a few short months ago)."

"Hey, I haven't actually come out to everyone yet but I have told a few people and all of their reactions were positive "oh you're bi? cool" and that was it. No "so do you like me?" or anything which was super great. So I was "straight" and when I heard about the LGBT community I was "straight" for about another five days. I did some thinking and realised I'd actually liked girls before, and shortly after came out as bi to a few of my close friends at the time. They were all supportive, bar one who said "you're just looking for attention lmao".Coincidentally, she had also come out as pan and had received the usual "you're attracted to pans?". I go to a Christian school, so it would be pretty disastrous if the news leaked out, but naturally it did. Not everyone knows, maybe about 10% of my grade. I suspect some teachers found out about how some people were LGBT (not many though, there's about 5 of us), because our dean of year gave the "you're too young to know that" talk. Mostly at school we get sheltered from all LGBT news and details at all, and my parents hadn't told me much about it either, even though they are supportive and would be okay if I came out as bi."

"I'm bisexual. I first came out to my elementary friends over the phone 3 years after we went to different middle schools. They were mostly all so accepting and I was so overwhelmed I hung up on them. I spent a few minutes laying on the ground clutching that phone to my chest, I'd never felt so loved. I cried and cried and cried because these people atleast the ones who accepted me see me different now but are okay with it. Two years later, now, I still haven't come out to my parents. I still need a few years but I'm a little bit more open at school now most of my friends accept me. Others were cut off, I can't do that with my family so they still don't know. Not as if they would take me seriously either way. I want to get past college get a place a stable life then maybe I'll be ready, just maybe. Thank you for listening to my story."

"I was surrounded by my Uncle and his husband for years. I always knew that gay people existed. When I was younger I never thought anything different of myself; I thought I was one of the boys.

 It never really clicked that I was the only one who saw it that way.

When I was 7, my mother and sister suggested I take dance I shot them down saying "that's for girls."

They didn't get it.

I wasn't entirely sure what came over me in that moment either but I know it felt right.

As myself and the people I knew grew up I realised I wasn't happy with the way I looked. I tossed it up as your typical dislike.

~every girl went through that at my age didn't they~

All the girls I knew were so happy that they were becoming women and I just sat in the back wondering why I didn't feel the same way.

I still didn't get it.

Once my depressed state got worse I decided to read into ways to love yourself and your body.

I started taking selfies, dressing up, wearing heels and makeup, forcing myself to sing even though I hated the way I looked and sounded.

It got worse.

I broke down when nobody was looking and acted like it was fine; like I wasn't praying that whatever I was feeling would go away for even a second.

And one day I looked in the mirror and I thought "this isnt right. This isn't me. This isn't what I want. Who in the hell is that person staring back at me?"

And I accepted it. That I would never be who I should be. That I would never be happy. Because nobody would love me. Nobody would want me. And nobody would accept me. Because if I was happy then that meant my family wouldn't have had the little girl theh thought they had gotten.

And up until recently no one knew that I broke down every night, that my thoughts got so bad I wanted to drown in my own tears so that maybe it would all be over. Because to me coming out to them was worse than death.

And here I am years later. My family knows but they don't care. They don't try to comprehend that this repression it kills me all the time. So I gathered my money got myself exactly what they told me they would never let me have and I lie. I go behind their backs and I live like the man I really am online. I bind my chest and I hide from their sight and when they ask I say it's just their eyes.

Because if they knew - if my mother knew - they would rather me suffer day after day than be who I am."

"heyo, i read your post and id like to put something to it.

i am a part of the community, havent came out to my parents yet, because i know for a fact id be sent to a psichologist or thrown out. but i am me online

an old friend of mine is a trans guy and found me a few weeks ago. he said he saw that i support LGBT+ and it was so comforting for him. a friend who i haven't talked with for 9 years!after he told me that he lost half of his family for being himself, his dad ignores him since, but he has a boyfriend and got his life together

and that i could be a little comfort for him is really nice. even the people who are closeted can be helpful in the community."

"Well, my mom took it well. I had gotten stuck in my closet and then she got me unstuck and I told her I was queer.

My brother, we were sitting in the car and he told me he always knew, but I had to keep it a secret from my dad or else bad things would happen.

My friends hugged me and started to use my name and pronounsSo coming out to my dad and stepmom, it wasn't even a coming out but a forced outage.

They took my phone away the night of a Panic attack that I still have nightmares over and searched it. They read all my messages.... everything.

I wanted to scream for it to stop, but I knew it wouldn't. They told me that they loved me, but I had to stop being me and I have to go back to being a girl who was cishet

But once you have a taste of freedom of who you really are, you can never go back ...I couldn't hide again. I just had to wait till I could spread my wings and be free somewhere else."

"Ok so for the thing you tagged me in, I don’t exactly have a coming out story yet, and I’m not sure of my identity entirely. I’ve tried out tons of labels and am sticking with queer at the moment just cuz it takes the stress off of picking an extremely definite word to describe me. I came out as queer last year, but I don’t consider it a coming out story because 1) I only told my friends and not my family, and 2) queer doesn’t completely define me. In real life, I’m doing my best to go back in the closet, but I think my “friends” may have told other people who spread rumors around my school, so it’s been difficult. A bunch of people make random references to me liking boys (I’m amab) and it made me uncomfortable enough that I started telling them I’m straight. I’m planning on staying as far in the closet as possible until people get more accepting and I understand myself fully."

"It's not a coming out story (mostly) but it's a realization of sorts.

Yesterday our Social Studies teached asked us to form groups and discuss a contemporary issue that we would present at the front in a few minutes. Long story short I suggested LGBT+ community and rights, which my group mates accepted. I live in a really conservative country (with at least 81% of the entire population identifying as Christians) and that's an extremely taboo topic. It ended up leading the teacher asking us to raise our hands if we believed the lgbt community should be allowed Civil Union, not considering religion an all. I was so afraid to raise my hand, but it was what I believed in and I couldn't live with it if I didn't show it, so I raised my hand. I didn't really do this as a member of the community, I wasn't thinking of myself. I was thinking of a world where this is accepted in my country, where I can go outside and be open and love whoever I wanted to, and I guess the idea of standing up for what I believed in was what pushed me to do that. A big majority of the class was against, and I was just so afraid even though some small logical part of me knew they would not do anything.Today, our Civics teacher had us grouped again to make a live news report and once again, my group (international news) got assigned lgbt+ community because of our listed problems yesterday. I suggested interviewing a member of the community and basically came out to two people I knew were trustworthy (nearly all three other members in that group but thank God I think the third one did not hear) and we agreed that I could be used if I only had my voice recorded and edited to not sound like me. Just a few hours ago I found out that one of my classmates, who I thought was a nice sweet boy, turned out to be a big homophobe. "Sodom and Gomora and Liberals are teaching unnatural things" kind of guy.I guess that broke something in me, because another thing I was really passionate about for when I grew up was this certain job, though no one supported me. I used to want to do that so much the idea of anything else repelled me, sometimes the idea of the other more "acceptable" jobs brought me to tears. Somehow this one admission that I thought everyone should have the right to at least a civil union and finding out my classmates didn't believe in that crushed something in me hard enough that I lost the passion to do that job I wanted. It makes no sense how this connected with that apart from the fact that neither are things I have been or would be supported on, but I guess seeing that this world isn't really safe made me lose hope.I felt scared to raise my hand, almost like I was actually coming out (which I now realize I'm absolutely never doing to many of those people) and the realization that some place I thought was a safe space for me, because all of those people in that class, I thought I could trust them. I've been with them since before I could spell "friend" correctly, they're family to me, I believed I would be safe and accepted, and then came to find out that wasn't quite the case...But well, basically I was terrified then crushed to find out that I could have outted myself to a group of people who would not take my news lightly

Found out some people I thought were friends thought people like me were broken

Found out some people I used to have the biggest crushes on didn't even believe in letting people have a civil union."

"I’m very excited to see brave people like you ready to start a revolution, so I thought I’d share my, sorta, coming out experience.

So I have divorced parents meaning I’d have to come out to four parents. This happened mainly last year. I was pretty sure I was bi, (tho I now identify panromantic demigirl) I knew my dad and stepmom would be great with it, and they were. But when it came to my mother, well, she wasn’t really homophobic, but she had different ideas about how a gay person should behave. She outed me to her after overhearing a convo with my friends. She then told me I was too young, and gave the “its a phase” talk. She knew I was fairly open about it because I lived by a motto to “be so myself that other people feel brave enough to be themselves too” But she believed a gay person should keep it a secret. Nowadays I don’t believe in the process of “coming out” I am open about my sexuality and gender but I don’t do formal coming outs. I always believed that if straights don’t have to, neither should I just because I “don’t fit a default” My mother wants me to come out to my stepfather even tho he already knows. I thought sharing a coming out story that also showed you should never feel obligated to come out. My mother guilt trips me about it, but I remain rooted in my beliefs that I shouldn’t have to come out, which I think is valid.

Hope my story can help anyone and just wanna say you are so so valid, amazing and powerful and should never feel pressured to be open if you don’t want to. Long live the revolution!!!🏳️‍🌈."

"Hello! I read your post about collecting LGTBQA+ stories and I thought Id share my brief experiences as a bi girl from Germany ^^

Tbh I never made a big deal about coming out, as I personally feel it goes to show that we're revealing a wierd secret, and Id like my sexualtiy to be something normal, not a main identifying characteristic. And everyone of my friends or classmates that I mention it to appear to have no problem with that whatsoever, and as far as I know Im not percieved as predatory either.

My family, however, is a whole different matter. While Im sure that my mums side of the family would be perfectly fine and my parents know already, when youve heard your fathers parents talk about eastern europeans and other immigrants using only slurwords and your uncles parents have expressed their absolute disgust about seeing a gay couple enjoy a nice picnic at the park, you get very cautious about who you tell. Especially since I dont want to put the supportive family in the position of having to consider whom they can talk to about this.

Another thing that Ive noticed after my exchange year in Sweden and seeing my first pride, though not having the time to attend, on my way there in Copenhagen, is how little support my country gives to this community from a social perspective. At my swedish school, all the teachers had a rainbow keyband from a *seminar about LGBTQA+ people*, something Im sure Germany would never do, and all of them kept it. There was no question whether you support us or not, it was an acceped part of social life and no big deal; we even did a private introduction round for pronouns!

And then I came back here. During pride month, there were no rainbow decorations, the most I saw of a parade was two discarded paper flags on the ground afterwards. When I vented about this to my ally friend, she only said that "some people and companies just like to stay neutral". Try all of them in Germany, but sure.

I know our community has come far, but I can also see that it isnt fsr enough, and that is the fight I am still fighting.

Hope this helps ^^."

"Alright. Mine isnt that interesting but I'll do my best :)

I came out as bisexual when i was in the sixth grade. It wasnt a huge deal to my mom. She said okay and we went on with our lives. Around the end of that year, i told her i thought i was trans and she said i wasnt. I came out to her again six months later and she said the same thing. There was a lot of yelling. Mind you, she isnt transphobic at all. The third time... she was so done with me. She yelled and so did i. It took four different times for her to accept me, and even then, i had to do the last time over text because i was scared of her reaction."

"So, my name is Ell. I identify as queer and demigender. I don't know what to say here really early than it's important to find others like you when you're not as close to your family as you used to be. Because of your identity. My family is more accepting than most, but still. The community online is so so important to me, and this project makes me really happy. So thank you. "

"I was at sea world and my mom was in the car I was talking about how my dad was super homophobic. My mom says that my dad acts like it’s a disease I said will if it is then I have got it, My mom is understanding and says that she will love me no matter what."

"So, I’m non-binary and bisexual. That’s a big no-no in a latino family like mine, it’s always grow up, get married with the opposite sex, and have kids. I don’t know why I felt that I could just say anything to my mom one day and she immediately objected. “Are you sure you’re not a lesbian or just confused? You can’t like more than one gender. Also, what’s this about a non gender? You’re either a boy or a girl, that’s it.”

Thankfully after a lecture and me apologizing (though I did nothing but tell her more about me) she let the subject go. I’ve never told my dad because I know mom just will get in the way and say I’m lying again, but at least my friends are understanding and almost completely LGBTQ+."