#lmao im not gonna ignore that last line

[purplepixel]

*skips in, full of whimsy*

@drsmer and I have been bouncing ideas around for a Spider's Web With Strings Attached reverse AU where Mikey and Raph get trapped in the Nexus instead

I haven't had this much fun since I killed Donnie XD

*skips away cackling*

NO BECAUSE THE WAY IVE HAD THIS SKETCH LYING AROUND ON MY IPAD EVER SINCE YOU DROPPED WHAT BIG MAMA WOULDVE CALLED THEM IF SHE GOT SUNSET DUO INSTEAD

I SILENTLY WENT THROUGH A WHAT IF MONTHS AGO

Theorizing what would change. What would be similar. Would the villains stay the same? Would there be an equivalent to viper? Who would break first and who would die and why would it be mikey

Potential conflict between the sunset duo in this scenario? Mainly with raph trying to always protect Mikey. And Mikey getting upset that raph is constantly taking hits for him. We got big and little bro dynamic instead of the twins and that would be interesting to see. Rise did address this with raph learning to trust his family BUT I can see this explored further ESPECIALLY with mikey

Unfortunately, you'd have to REAAAAALLLYYYYY find a way to convince me that Donnie and Leo would struggle to find and get them out. No offense to sunset duo, but I think the disaster twins would have a much easier time rescuing them once they knew where they were simply bc of their powers and abilities. Portals are so op. And then Donnie has his tech. Perfect for finding and retrieving. Would the whole maze plan even be needed? Hmm

Oh man and just the disaster twins trying to find them. I never see that??? We never get a raph and Mikey go missing and the two trying to find them are the disaster twins??? Equally as interesting. OHOHOHO these two falling apart and taking it out on each other would be SO MESSY.

EVIL LAUGH

[coridallasmultipass]

Okay, because I'm allowed to be a little weird about puppets and dolls on here, I need to share the new crochet(/knitting was optional) stitch markers I just got in the mail, because I am SO FUCKING STOKED TO USE THEM. (Only had a knitting WIP to model them with, I haven't started a new crochet project yet.)

THE EYES DO THE DOLL BLINK THING!! SO COOL! And teeth are just so #aes (I'm always gonna be thinking about like collecting teeth in the Alice: Madness Returns video game I was obsessed with. [Maybe I can paint them gold, even? Just an idea.])

This seller has so many whimsical fiber art related things (along with really gorgeous yarn I'm lookin' at). Like two years ago, I bought a facehugger cupcake stitch marker from them (along with slasher movie knife stitch markers!) Where in the world else are you gonna get creepycute unique items like these for all your yarn craft needs?!

Seriously, these are so freaking fun, I love them SO much. I definitely recommend the seller SillySheepDesigns on Etsy if you're a fiber art person.

https://www.etsy.com/shop/SillySheepDesigns?ref=yr_purchases

I'm not paid to say this, I'm just SO excited about having my weirdness needs met.

[4giorno]

oh my god i did it, i beat cazador after actually watching the cutscene and rescuing astarion from the ritual

[tomsmother]

Pre drinking a lil to go to an expectedly awkward farewell dinner with my ex-bosses/landlords/friends.... and now the dudes dad is coming which tbh makes it even weirder? We used to be close and had lots of fun drinking together (maybe too much fun to be Appropriate btw bosses and employee but ... hey! I liked it) and now I don't know what has been said behind closed doors, but they're both so awkward with me now and barely drink and don't say too much and it's like fucking crickets when we hang?? I wanna know

[goldsainz]

THIS IS ME TRYING — one shot.

pairing: daniel ricciardo x reader

MASTERLIST.

PART 1.

taglist: @lorarri @lpab @noncannonships @lunnnix @elliegrey2803 @schumacheer @saintslewis @leoramage @ellswilliams @toomuchdelusion @anthonykatebridgerton @enhacolor @gulabjamoon @woweewoowa @forza55 @ihrtdan @ravisinghs-wife @alearicci

request: “PT 2 OF AUGUST IM BEGGING 🤞🏼🤞🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 on my knees 🧎🏽‍♀️🧎🏽‍♀️🧎🏽‍♀️”

NOTE: the well being of a cat was on the line if this fic didn’t happen… so here it is! ignore the fact that daniel is still not here😔 this is very short, i know, and i’m sorry… but i am planning a third part soooooo

liked by pierregasly, ynfan1 and 78,529 others

f1wags Y/N Y/L/N, more than a month after her alleged affair with Daniel Ricciardo, appeared at the paddock of the Qatar Grand Prix, where the driver will make his return after his metacarpal injury.

view all 1,073 comments

ynfan2 she ate all the girlies up with her fit

user1 i’m crying wtf is pierre doing here😭

⤷ danielfan1 he’s always at the scene of the crime smh

ynfan3 serving cunt 24/7 like it’s a job

ynfan4 never though y/n would be back in a wag account… kinda missed it

user2 her hair is so beautiful

danielfan2 we do not want her here!!!!!!

⤷ ynfan5 SPEAK FOR YOURSELF

danielfan3 “affair” it lasted like 2-3 business days…

ynfan6 her wag era was too short i need it back😭

yourusername posted an instagram story!

liked by valentinazenere, simihaze and 2,479,185 others

yourusername qatar grand prix ✨ thank you so much to redbullracing for the invite and congrats to maxverstappen1 on winning the championship! this was such an exciting experience over all 💙

view all 37,108 comments

maxverstappen1 Thank you for the support!

liked by yourusername and 106,823 others

ynfan21 not austin like and she was glowing all weekend… could be actually be free this time?

user21 what a pleasure it was to see her on the paddock!

ynfan22 the star of the qatar gp right here!!!

danielfan21 ugh every time she appeared on my screen she made me want to break it🙄

⤷ ynfan23 he’s not gonna like you more for saying this btw!

ynfan24 i love red bull being messy

danielfan22 there is something so funny about her being a guest

ynfan25 crying at people being mad she was invited😭 as if she’s not an A-list celebrity

ynfan26 oh i know daniel was bamboozled when he saw her

⤷ danielfan23 actually, according to rumours, he didn’t see her at all. made every single attempt he could to avoid her, in fact

⤷ danielfan24 lmao i would too if i was just a rebound

[tonyboneysblog]

MOTHER: PREQUEL

parings: none!

wordcount: 3.3k

notes: lmao yall im back…for like five seconds

warnings: pregnancy, very angsty 😬

Summary: you’re an upcoming hero with a good family, amazing boyfriend and now a child you never wanted.

————————————————————————

you hands shake softly as you purge whatever breakfast you had into the bowl below you.

You mother knocked on the door, you could practically feel her concern seeping the door.

“Y/N, sweetie are you okay?” Her voice is slightly wobbly, lined with worry.

You rub your mouth with the back of your palm, “M’fine mom.”

You flush the toilet and stumble out the bathroom, your mother twirls her fingers together. Concern on her face.

Your mother was quite the looker, deep, jet black hair with dark feathers sprouting from the back of her neck, she had small wings on her back that matched her hair.

You father looked almost exactly like you, he had the stronger genes, your mother always said.

Your mother speaks up again, “are you sure you want to see your boyfriend today? You could be contagious..”

You sigh softly, “mom, it was just something I ate I swear.”

You straighten up your skirt, walking towards the front door as your mother tried to tell you just to rest, but you can’t really- you already planned a date and you wouldn’t wanna cancel so late.

You stop at the front door, “Mom, I’m fine- I’m gonna be a hero anyways and sometimes I just need to power through.”

Your mother sighs, looking back and forth towards you and the bathroom that you had just used.

“Fine, but call me if you start to feel worse.”

You smile, “yeah, I will.”

You met your current boyfriend at the hero school you were attending, Minato Wantanabe, kids would pick on him since his head was literally a crow but you thought it was kinda cute.

It pays off to be nice to people, now you have an amazing, cute, bird boyfriend.

Your feet carry you towards the local dinner, it was Minatos favorite, he loved the pancakes.

You can spot his beak peeking through the diners window, the diner was painted in a vibrant red but it had gone dull from the last decade.

You walk through the double doors with a small ding from the bell above them, Minato looks over towards the noise only to see you.

You happily make your way over towards the booth before kissing Minatos cheek and sitting infront of him.

“Evening, Y/N.” He says with a small smile.

You look towards him with a coy grin, “evening..”

The date proceeds as planned, you always enjoy time with Minato.

You just had to ignore the steadily growing nausea growing in your stomach.

Minato offered to walk you home but you declined, he probably couldn’t keep up with the speeds that you’d have to go to make it to the bathroom.

maybe you should’ve told your mom when you first felt it.

You try and jog home but that just made it worse, you run faster, doesn’t help.

You make it to your front door, opening it up quickly with your house key the booking towards the bathroom to clear out the poor, delicious pancakes you had earlier.

there was absolutely no way you could’ve been sick, you felt fine aside from barfing your guts out.

You flush down the gross mix of stomach acid and pancakes, washing your hands and walking towards your bedroom.

you were fine, you had to be.

Hero’s would never let a silly cold get them down.

But it continued, you threw up every morning.

Now, you were aware you had an irregular period, either from all the stress of work or your birth control.

So why would you be worried if you missed a couple days?

You only got worried when one of your school friends decided to open her mouth.

“Y/N I know this sounds so rude- but have you been gaining weight?” Her voice is quiet.

You look at her confused, “what? I mean I could’ve but, im always training.”

She nods, “yeah thats why I’m so confused, like are you over eating?”

though slightly offended, you respond anyways.

You hum softly, “that could be it?”

Why would a future hero like you “overeat”.

Really why was it any of her business that you were gaining weight.

“I’m mean- girl to girl, I heard boys really hate extra weight- I mean Minato is a nice guy but he’s also a guy yknow?” She rambles, her voice only increasing as she speaks.

You wave her off, “Mhm, thanks Hina.”

You try not to storm out of the locker room. instead walking towards your closer friend, Tori.

What does she even know, Minato loves you.

He wouldn’t leave you after something so small.

You groan quietly, “Hina just basically told me I’m a fattie.”

Tori chuckles softly, “shes a ditz Y/N.”

“I’m aware, she even started talking about Minato.” You lean against a near locker.

“Maybe she wants him?”

You chuckle, “oh please…”

Tori looks at you, slight concern lining her eyes, “I mean, your stomach is looking a little plump but that’s probably just bloating.”

You look at her confused, Tori’s supposed to be on your side.

Tori places her finger on her chin, something she does when she’s “deep in thought”.

“How’s that nausea problem you have?” She mumbles softly.

“Still going on, I’m not worried.”

Tori’s brows furrow, “you haven’t seen a doctor yet?”

“No- probably some stomach virus, I’ll throw it up-“

Tori cuts you off with a groan of your name.

You try to explain but Tori stops talking, looking away until concern fills her face again.

She leans in you ear, “you and Minato aren’t like- active?”

Your brows furrow, “I-i mean yeah..”

Tori sighs softly, her face suddenly serious.

“I think you should go to the doctor.”

You scoff, pushing yourself off of the locker, “Tori, I’m not pregnant.”

but what if, right?

Tori shrugs her shoulders as she returns to whatever she was doing in her locker.

It couldn’t hurt right? You’d like to stop throwing up anyways.

So after school, you take the train towards the doctors office.

You fill out your name on the sheet and sit down and wait until they call your name.

You’re not pregnant, no way- you and Minato are always careful.

“Y/N?” The nurse calls your name softly.

You perk up and walk through the door, you follow the nurse. Is it bad you’re a little worried?

You explain to her why you’re here, then they just do a basic procedure. Taking blood, height, weight, etc.

You kick your legs gently against the floor, waiting patiently for them to just tell you you’ve got a stomach virus and pump you full of drugs.

The nurse knocks before opening the door, she has a gentle small on her face.

“You’re pregnant!” She says.

she continues talking but, you block her voice out.

Pregnant? Fucking pregnant?

What would your mother say- your father?

what would Minato say.

The nurse taps your knee softly, “I know it’s a lot to hear for someone of your age, 16 and all.”

not to mention you where going to one of the best hero schools.

what about your future?

What would this…thing- do to it?

Your zone out through the rest of the visit, you sit quietly and alone on the train back home.

you walk back to the house, unlocking the door and walking in, your mother and sister and sitting in the living room laughing.

They look towards your distraught face.

Your mother mouths something along the lines of, “come here sweetie.”

You sit on the chair that’s next to the couch.

Your voice dies when you try to speak.

“Sweetie, what’s wrong?” You mothers voices shakes, you stare at your sister.

You’re setting a terrible example.

your mother always said you could talk to her.

but this? how would she react- how?

“I’m pregnant.”

The room is silent before your mother covers her mouth.

her eyes blown wide.

Your sister mumbles a small, “what?”

Your watch your mother curl into herself as she starts to sob.

You don’t understand why you can’t cry.

Your father quickly stomps down the stairs at his wifes cries.

“What’s wrong?” He asks loudly.

Your mother points a shaking hand at you, “she’s fucking pregnant!”

You can hear the distain in her voice.

Your father only takes a deep breath in before resting his head against the wall.

You thought you would make your parents proud by being a hero, but now look at you.

You need this baby out of your life.

The rest of the night is a blur.

The rest of the week is a blur aside from the conversation you had with your father.

“You’re gonna be a hero Y/N, you don’t need a child in your life.” He voices is more stern than usual.

“I know dad.”

He cups your hands gently, “you need to get rid of it.”

You voice shakes when you respond.

“I know.”

“It”, he says.

Were you referred as that when your mother was pregnant?

You take the train to the doctor’s office, you don’t need a kid in your life- you barely know how to take care of one.

You’re only a kid too.

When you walk towards the front desk, the nurse recognizes you.

“Mrs. Tokoyami! Came to check up on the baby?” She smiles.

You stay quiet for a moment, no- no you came to get rid of it.

She stares at you with those kind eyes.

“We could do an ultra sound if you want?”

No, you need to get rid of it.

you have to.

Just tell her Y/N.

Your brows furrow, “a what?”

the nurse chuckles softly, “an ultrasound? So you can see your baby.”

No, the thought repeats over and over. Thought the words never come out of your mouth.

Your voice is barely audible when you respond, “I’d like that.”

Your father would be furious.

The nurse walks your towards a room with a machine.

Your mother is already disappointed.

She lays your down on the table, its soft.

look at the example your setting for your little sister.

The gel is cool when she places it onto stomach, she looks concentrated.

Look at what person you’re becoming.

Until a bright smile comes onto her face, “there they are.”

You look towards the screen, it’s a little hard to make out but you can see them.

it’s small.

She hands you a photo when you come back to the front desk to pay.

it’s the baby.

When you take the train home you can’t stop staring at it.

You were supposed to get rid of it.

You walk into your house, knees on the brink of buckling.

your family sits in the living room, they’re expecting something.

Your voice breaks, “I couldn’t do it.”

Your father rolls his eyes with a sigh, standing up quickly and walking past you.

Your mother places her face into her palms, sighing deeply.

“I-I was thinking of giving them to another family.” you say quickly.

You mother perks up, “alright.”

Your try to continue speaking but your mom ends up blocking you out.

You stumble your way up stairs towards your room, you walk past your sisters but she’s not in her bed.

She’s in yours when you open the door to your room.

Your sister looks up at your, she’s sitting on the bed.

“I over heard that your keeping it.” She tries not to smile.

Your face scrunches, “Why’re you happy about that?”

Your sister excitedly pats the space next to her, you sit on it.

“I wanna be an auntie.” She grins.

You sigh softly, “you can’t, I’m giving them to another family.”

Your sister pouts, “why, she’s yours..”

“Don’t assume the gender.”

Your sister groans, “I want it to be a girl!”

You crack a smile, “too bad, he’ll be a boy.”

a boy, it’s a nice thought.

“You don’t know that.” She playfully pushes you.

You push her back, “I’m the mom so I decided the gender!”

Your sister giggles as her back hits the bed.

You slam yourself next to her staring up at the glow in the dark stars on your roof, you forced your dad to put them up when you were younger.

“Can I name it?” Your sister asks excitedly.

“No, fumiko.”

She groans loudly, crossing her arms together tightly.

Your room stays quiet for a considerable amount of time, you almost believe that your sister fell asleep but she’s still staring at the room with you.

“I think you should keep it forever.” Her voice is small.

“I want to be a hero.”

You have to be.

your sister hums then gets up and leaves you alone.

it’s just you alone in your room.

you feel like it’s always been that way.

You have to tell Minato, you have a date tomorrow anyways.

At that little diner, the one with the red, dull paint that’s cracking off the walls.

The next day, you meet with Minato.

you sit in-front of him, you look slightly drained he notices.

“Everything okay?” His voice breaks you out of your trance.

You grab his hands softly, “I’m- I’m pregnant.”

Minatos jaw drops slightly, “and it’s mine?”

You nod softly, but Minato takes his hands away from yours.

You look up confused, Minatos face is scrunched up in…anger?

“We’re done.”

what?

You try to bargain, “Minato-“

“Y/N I’m trying to be a hero, not- not a father?!” Minato stands ups quickly and storms out of the diner.

you can feel the eyes on you, the judgement.

this thing, is ruining your life.

the next month is a blur, you talked to your sister a lot, Tori noticed a change in you but she never asked.

You go back to the doctor, apparently you’ve been pregnant for about three months, they say they can find out the gender of you wanted.

you couldn’t stop yourself from being curious but you declined anyway, no point in creating an attachment to something that you’ll give to another family soon.

One that they deserve.

You’d be a shit mother anyway, that’s what you think.

worst part about it is that your starting to show more, kids at school are starting to notice.

Tori does too.

You’re sitting down near a tree eating your lunch when she confronts you about it.

“You’re pregnant, aren’t you.” Her voice is calm.

You nod softly, Tori sighs a sits next to you.

“What’s the gender?”

You shrug, you wouldn’t know- you didn’t care to ask.

Tori hums, “what do you want it to be?”

You pull your knees into your chest, not responding.

“I think I’d like it to be a cute little girl.” She smiles looking off into the clouds.

“A boy.” You mumble quietly.

Tori gags, “boys are terrible!”

You giggle softly, “yeah, they are.”

Tori wrap her arm around your shoulder, placing her head onto yours.

“You keeping it? Or putting it through the whole adoption thing.” Her voice is soft, considerate.

“Adoption.”

Tori stays quiet for a moment, “I could help you, if you wanna keep her.”

You look down at your feet, “I’d have to quit school.”

Tori groans dramatically, “Being a hero isn’t all that anyways, I’d know cause I’m in the support course.”

You stay quiet as Tori continues talking about how hero’s truly aren’t amazing, that they’re enough in the world and no one would be angry if you decided not to be one.

“You could be a nurse yknow, you’d still be helping people.” She pats your shoulder.

You hum, being a hero was always your dream. Would you really give up all the hard work you’ve done over some kid?

“He’ll be better off with a different family, I don’t want him.” You say quietly and stern.

Tori giggles- why is she laughing?

your being serious aren’t you?

“Referring to it as a he, even thought you don’t care? whatever you say Tokoyami.” Tori ruffles your hair as she stands up.

You look up towards her, brows furrowed.

“Call me if decided to keep “him”, okay Tokoyami?”

You nod softly, watching her walk away towards the school building. Your next class is about to start, maybe you should join her.

You stand up and jog over next to her, walking quietly beside eachother.

maybe this pregnancy won’t be so terrible with Tori next to you.

Month 6, your parents called the principal and convinced him to let you off of school until the baby comes.

So now alll you can do is stay at home and wait.

At least you won’t have to see Minato anymore.

Month 7

Tori comes over to your house a lot, always bringing the most disgustingly “pregnancy craving” foods you’ve ever seen.

It’s the thought that counts though right?

Your mother continues to either ignore you, or nit pick everything you do.

your father doesn’t really talk to you like he used to.

Your sister won’t stop talking, about the baby specifically.

You wish it would stop.

Month 8

It’s closer to your due date, your just want him out.

Him.

Why do you keep referring to it like that, it’s not yours so what’s the point.

Maybe it’s to spite Tori, she wants it to be a girl- so does your sister.

it doesn’t matter though, once he’s- it’s. Once it’s out you can continue your dream of being a hero.

you have to.

Month 9, Tori won’t stop talking about him.

“Aren’t you excited? Even a little bit?” Her voice shows it, how happy she is.

your voice is bare, “excited to get him out? Yes.”

Tori is quiet.

then you are quiet.

“It wouldn’t be terrible to be a mom.” Her voice goes soft.

“You don’t understand.”

Her voice rises, “I’m trying to.”

And then it’s quiet again, would it be terrible?

you think it’s the worst thought ever to be thinked.

The thought becomes even worse as you walk around your hospital room, in pain.

Your parents decided they didn’t want to be there, that’s fine.

everyone will forget this little bump in your life.

the numbing pain that flows through your body when you go into labor.

the tightness of your grasp as you hold a nurses hand, later she says she feels like it almost broke.

the pain your head experiences as the thought, “get out” repeats.

then, it’s calm.

it’s out, your free.

why isn’t it crying?

you look up, your eyes are blurry- your heart feels heavy.

Is he okay?

Then he cries, you let out a breath of relief you never knew you had.

“It’s a boy.” The doctor says.

Then he is placed next to you, his fingers are so small.

everything else goes away, it’s just you and him now.

Then they take him away.

And you can finally rest.

Later your woken up, Tori’s next to you.

“He’s cute” you hear her say.

You laugh, Tori smiles.

Your sister walks in, she wanted to come- begged your parents to take her.

She excitedly sits down next to you.

“Fumiko…” you say softly.

She replies but you never comprehend the words.

Then later they ask you what his name will be. maybe it only took you a minute or two to name him.

You liked the way it rolled off your tongue.

Then you were discharged from the hospital, your son in your hands.

It’s weird to think that you made him.

Is it bad you felt some sort of pride in your chest?

Tori let you stay with her, you couldn’t face your parents.

The room the lent you was small but it was enough for the two of you.

You and him.

He is cute isn’t he? Small fingers, a face that looks just like his father’s but it didn’t fill you with hate- only love.

Instead of being alone, he was there with you.

His eyes are big, he coos softly.

“Hi Fumikage…” you say softly.

It’s just you and Fumikage now, maybe being a hero can wait.

You want to be his hero.

————————————————————————

AN: wazzuppp guys…so i definitely have been a tiny bit busy but i decided to finally sit down a finish this prequel! (Don’t ask me when I’m finishing accidental nab bro) don’t know what my next fanfic will be about…figuring it out currently cause now i actually have time to write.. ANYWAYS LOVE YOU GUYS SMMM I MISSED YOUUU!!

[intheholler]

Do you have any tips for being more comfortable using your natural accent in front of people? I was bullied for it as a kid and scrubbed my accent away through teenhood. As an adult, I feel like I still have to put on a neutral accent so people at work won't judge me. I told one of my old bosses that I was from Appalachia and he went on about how he'd seen do many documentaries on Appalachia and what good people we were, but also added that "Wow! I never would have known. You don't have an accent at all. You're so well-spoken!" and it felt bad. I think he had good intentions, but it made me feel like a zoo animal. I always see comments on other Appalachian folks' posts about their accents too, and there's always a handful of jerks who have to say something about their intelligence or make an incest or drug addict "joke".

It all hurts a lot and makes me self-conscious, but I don't want to be this way around my friends. Do you know how I can stop letting peoples' ignorance and classism get to me? Worrying about how I pronounce words or if I'm using region-specific slang all the time is so exhausting.

hi there <3 this is a topic near n dear to my heart because i spent so much of my life trying to avoid sounding appalachian, and the last few years of it desperate to sound so aggressively appalachian that yankees can't understand me, lmao.

that is all to say: this is gonna be long as usual.

first: class solidarity, family <3 this stuff really sucks.

what inspired me to push past the discomfort of using my natural accent after a lifetime of getting rid of it was actually along the lines of what you mentioned: people being shocked that i could be from appalachia, and be articulate at the same time. there are so many nasty, hurtful implications there.

i hate to say it, but there's no easy answer to this.

something in me just… snapped one day about ten years back. i started to look inward, and i discovered this overwhelming pride and passion and love for my home that i had denied myself my whole life, out of fear over how it made me look.

i started doing the self-work and digging deeper into that. it wasn't comfortable, but once i embraced appalachia, i wanted to defend her. the best way to do that for me was to be loud. my pride in where im from outweighed the rest.

maybe you should start there, too. look inward, break down your own subconscious biases about yourself and about our home. find out why you have been made to think this way.

work on loving the appalachian parts of yourself. GET. FUCKING. ANGRY. at those who poisoned your mind with this shit, and use that fury to work on dismantling the beliefs they imposed upon you.

because why shouldn't we talk like our mamas just because some asshole thinks its funny? why should we give up ties to our community and culture, just to be respected? why should every blessed conversation be emotionally and physically taxing just to make a classist more comfortable?

it isn't my shame to carry, and it isn't yours. it is their shame, and their self-work to do. it is not our responsibility to coddle their ignorance. that is on them.

now, when someone hears me talk, it causes a sort of dissonance that they then have to wrestle with. it shifts the discomfort and emotional labor away from me, and puts it on to them instead.

every time i speak proudly, they have to confront themselves and their biases, and how it harms someone that they respect--you.

and if they aren't the kind of person empathetic enough to do that, literally who gives a shit what someone like that thinks about you.

turn those 'jokes' they make about it right back on them:

why is drug addiction funny? why is incest and sexual assault of children funny? why are underfunded schools and a failure to give children across the nation a fair and equal education something to laugh about?

framing it in my mind that i was taking back control in conversations this way helped me speak more comfortably. it made me feel empowered.

i think of it like this: by speaking in my dialect and embodying positive and "unexpected" traits from the region (leftist politics, anti-racism, things like that), i reclaim my power. i use that power to slowly shift the opinions of appalachia with the people i interact with.

it was scary, and it's still scary. but by making a conscious decision every day to speak in our dialect and be courageous even when it's hard, we are reclaiming the parts of ourselves that they took from us. we are bettering the image of the region we love so dearly.

it is INCREDIBLY empowering now to settle into my accent. but it took a LOT of self-work, courage and self-respect to be able to do it.

it ain't easy. i do still struggle with it; i catch myself code switching all the time. i don't think you or me or any of us trying to reclaim our accents will ever fully escape the weight of the classism that dictated our manner of speaking for a huge chunk of our lives, unfortunately.

but if you do that difficult work, it is so, so liberating, family.

you can do it. talk to yourself when you're home alone. let the accent get comfortable again on your tongue. start there, then let that beautiful dialect out for the world to hear <3

[nthspecialll]

hello, i hope you're having an amazing day! I've been reading your posts for a while, and i absolutely love them, its so nice to see someone yap about rdr2 and not ignore canon, especially when the fandom is kinda dead lol so i wanna thank you for it!! (also this is gonna be very long so uh. yeah.)

now that being said, i wanted to say, i read your arthur and gender roles post a while ago, and i disagree with what you said tbh. i understand he's a grown man in the 1800s, and obviously he's not gonna have the same mentality with someone who's in 2000s, but i dont think he necessarily believes in gender roles and thinks thats how things should be.

in my opinion the most obvious example is black belle. black belle is one hell of a woman, she's literally a legendary gunslinger and a better shot than quite a lot of men. her personality, the way she talks, the way she moves, she doesn't act "womanly" at all and arthur seems to have no problem with that. he doesn't say anything that could indicate he's weirded out or opposed to her living this kind of life. in fact, he seems to kind of admire her and he says in his journal that he would have loved to ride with her if times were right.

the other example is sadie. you said his relationship with sadie is the biggest hint to his sexism and i disagree. he cares for her (obviously he does) and while at first he seems very surprised at her change of attitude (because she is a grieving woman, she was a mess in chapter 1 and 2) he accepts it very fast. he enjoys her company and loves riding with her. sometimes he's annoyed with her getting into unnecessary trouble, but thats because its unwanted attention and he'd rather avoid that. in chapter 3 after your first mission with sadie, if you go back to the shop, the shopkeeper will ask you about her and say something along the lines of "thats not something a woman should be wearing" and arthur will shut him up. he'll say something like "id be very surprised if you had a woman" if im not mistaken and thats a HUGE proof that he doesn't necessarily believe in gender roles. the shopkeeper isnt even hostile, he's not aggressive in any way, he's just trying to make conversation by saying something that forces gender roles to sadie and arthur is not having any of it.

and sure, his antagonizing lines to sadie (or women in general) can be sexist. he can force gender roles to women if you choose to antagonize them, but thats kind of the point. if you choose to. arthur is capable of being a mean son of a bitch, he's capable of being a sexist and a bastard and he will be exactly that if the player wants him to be, but that doesn't necessarily mean he's like that. he can say sexist stuff to sadie if the player wants him to, but without the player he doesn't say anything or act on these sexist thoughts. its like, for example, you are capable of being a mean person. you are capable of telling a lady she looks like she's a whore but you don't do that. you can have these thoughts, but these thoughts dont defy you, your actions do. and without the player, in the cutscenes, arthur does not seem like a sexist man at all.

everything you can make arthur say or do in the game, its because he's capable of it. he can kidnap women and throw them into incoming trains, but without the player, he won't do that because he's simply not like that.

another example to that is the french man!!! charles chatenay!!! now i believe arthur loves being around this man because he's just so funny lmao (he's literally one of the only people who makes arthur laugh out loud in the entire game and its in chapter 6 when everything is just soo depressing) and in his last side mission he's literally dressed up as a woman. and of course, its because he has to hide himself, but i think someone who believes in gender roles in the 1800s would at least comment on it, right? arthur doesnt care. he's surprised and amused by this guy, but he doesnt say anything that mentions gender roles. charles literally KISSES arthur, and that is something a man should NOT do to another man when it comes to gender roles, but arthur doesnt even pull away 😭 bro is dumbfounded and annoyed but he lets it go. charles jokingly flirts with another man and arthur doesnt even mention it. he is not bothered AT ALL. and if he believed in gender roles i dont think he'd act like that. he even draws him so beautifully in his journal afterwards. charles chatenay literally defies gender roles and arthur doesnt care at all. he cares for him and enjoys his company a lot.

aaand another example is mr. white and mr. black. theyre gay lmfao which is something men should not be and arthur notices that. he even recommends going somewhere far away cause they might not be welcome here. they literally live together in a small treehouse where there's one bed and arthur sees that but he does not care and is actually kind of glad to see them safe.

so like what im trying to say is arthur does not care about gender roles. it might be unusual for him but he does not care. he sees a woman acting like a man, he doesn't say anything. he sees a man acting like a woman, he does not say anything. he's not a sexist just because of his antagonizing lines. antagonizing lines are there because arthur is capable of saying such things, yes, (and it seems like arthur is a mean bastard sometimes according to the people's reactions but i think thats just him teasing and not caring) but in the cutscenes or in missions where the player cant do anything with arthurs behavior, its obvious hes not sexist at all.

also one more thing!!!! in your post you mentioned arthur calling javier a slur in the boat and therefore being racist towards him but i do not see it that way. in fact, thats him defending javier. the man insults javier and mocks him by saying "i cannot believe someone gave a greaser a job, i wouldnt trust one with a gun" and because theyre in disguise arthur has to act like he's agreeing with him but he sounds uncomfortable while doing so. when arthur knocks him out and says "i guess you were right... only an idiot would give a greaser a gun" he is not mocking javier, he is mocking the man for insulting his friend and javier literally laughs at that in the background. my man is not offended because he knows arthur is not being racist towards him. arthur is a 36 years old grown man in the 1800s and he's not scared of saying a slur out loud and its not like he means it anyway.

anyway thats all i wanted to say!!!!! if youve read it this far thank you i just wanted to get this off my chest lmfao. hope you have a great day!!!

Well firstly thank you for liking my stuff, and secondly, you come with some good points and your interpretation of Arthur and those scenerios is completely fine! As the actors themselves says, we as players are allowed to interpreate and analyse however wish, the game is what we make it. You got that out of those scenes and I got something else out of them, neither of us are wrong in that. Depending on how you play or what you do, you get different things out of it :D

[siren-serotonin]

SLIGHT PJSK (main story) AND PJO/HOO SPOILERS(?)

So!! As some of you may be aware.. I love pjsk. In case you didn't know, I love pjsk. I also love pjo and hoo. And last night I when I should've been sleep, I was fucking PUNCHED by both hyperfixations at the same time and then I started wondering what it'd be like if pjsk characters were demigods and/or Hunters of Artemis. This is that post. Feel free to ignore, I just need to infodump lmao

Mafuyu is a daughter of Jupiter. Jupiter's children are often set unrealistically high expectations, which causes them to be terrified of failure and slowly crumble under the stress. This can be seen with Jason during his time as praetor, on the Argo II, etc. In Mafuyu's case, her mother and the majority of her peers all expect her to excel in everything she does. Do you see where I'm going with this. Yeah okay. Anyway she's specifically a child of Jupiter and not Zeus because the gods are stricter in their Roman aspects and Mafuyu was raised by a strict parent. Also I think she'd either be a praetor or join the Hunters of Artemis.

Airi and Mizuki could both very much be children of Aphrodite. Airi because her whole "the most important thing in an idol is the heart" thing breaks so many Aphrodite kid stereotypes and I love it. She would so teach others that there's more to Aphrodite than being a toxic person (cough cough Drew cough Cheerful*Days) and I love her for that. Mizuki is here because they have trouble expressing themself freely and finding out that Aphrodite is their mother could help them figure stuff out?? Maybe?? Idk man. Also TRANS APHRODITE KID LETS GO!!! I think that they can both charmspeak but choose not to unless like their fucking lives depend on it.

Shiho is a child of Hades. Hades' kids are shunned and often misunderstood, which reminds me of how Shiho is mischaracterized in the fandom a lot. Also the way she acts reminds me of Nico. "I'm fine on my own" NO YOU'RE NOT!!!

Tsukasa, Saki, Toya and Kanade are all children of Apollo. Do I even have to explain for Tsukasa? He is the most theatre kid to ever exist, literally who else would be his godly parent???? Toya would be the most unconventional son of Apollo ever. Imagine him being like "no dad fuck you and your instruments im gonna be a street musician" and Apollo's just like "yeah go piss girl idc music is music" it's so funny to me omg. Kanade's whole self-sacrifice complex + composer thing?? She is THE daughter of Apollo (sorry Kayla). I feel like Toya would be a praetor if Roman Apollo was his dad but idk just a hunch. Toya could also be a child of Jupiter for similar reasons as Mafuyu. Kanade is literally Will Solace if he was musically gifted (Will I'm joking ily). Saki is here because I didn't know where else to put her and I'd feel bad if I separated the Tenma siblings.

Ena is a daughter of Ares. I can't quite explain this one, but Ena wanting her dad's approval of her being an artist reminds me of Clarisse a lot for some reason?? She could also be a child of Apollo but I already put four characters there sooooooo yeah

Rui the most son of Hephaestus EVER. "I'm not good with organic life forms" is such a Rui line oml. The automatons?? The mechanic shit?? ROBO-NENE. Do you see my vision. I want Rui and Leo to be friends so bad augh.

Nene could be a daughter of Poseidon because she has mermaid imagery, aside from that idk.

I think Minori could be a daughter of Iris since she's underrated (similar to how Iris is underappreciated/a minor goddess) and Minori + Iris both strongly believe in hope.

Besides Mafuyu, I think Honami and Shizuku could be Hunters of Artemis. As I'm typing this, I just realised that the april fools Meru trio are all Hunters asdfghgfdghj

A lot of characters were left out because I didn't know who their parents could be but if anyone has headcanons pls put them in the replies or tags!! Thank you for coming to my ted talk, goodbye.

[bunglegaydogs]

im fucking feral

edit: basically, ignore most of this, i was delirious. i read a few different things that made sense, im dumb and im just ignorant LMAO so sorry about that anyways, im scared as balls for the next episode.

ofc spoilers for the newest bsd episode i would say manga spoilers but SOMEHOW we're fucking caught up? im still so baffled at how they managed to animate AND voice chapter 109 AND the first 7 pages of 110

what the actual fuck

anyways xoxo

im only writing this bc im confused at what the fuck is going on with the next episode, because ive been under the impression that season 5 was only gonna be 10 episodes long 💀

yeah so im a bit lost

im gonna make another post analysing the fucking chaos we've just been given in the form of episode 10 but rn i just want to talk about the apparent episode 11 we're being given

does everyone genuinely think that it's gonna be a continuation of right now? because i really dont

i dont know what its gonna be, maybe another adaptation of one of the light novels

but i really dont think its going to be a continuation. would asagiri really put the anime ahead of the manga? idk. but i genuinely dont know bc the episode title seems to be in line with the current fucking calamity that is this vampire arc, irdk, genuinely ive never been so baffled lmao

the anime watchers are now caught up with the manga, and that genuinely blows my fucking mind, based on the fact that the end of episode 10 was literally only released a little over a week ago (manga) like what

anyways. idk whether the next episode will be the last, whether we'll have up to 12 or 13 episodes, whether it takes a complete new direction, idk. idk whether itll somehow switch into beast, or stormbringer or the time i picked up dazai - i really have no fucking clue lmao

im so baffled

and pissed off at a fair few things in the newest episode, but also pretty happy with it

anyways have a great day/night wherever you are, bc i sure as hell wont LMAO im gonna be thinking about this shit all night

[puzzled-pegasus]

Agh I need to get this out so im gonna write out this story I have to the song Waving Through a Window with my one wof OC :)

watch nobody read this lmao but it might be nice to have it written down so

---

Durin the song's intro, an adolescent male NightWing named Starshower walks on a muddy path across the rainforest floor. He has large blue eyes and silver scales not only on his wings, but splattered across his snout like freckles. He also has patches of silver freckles in a few places along his back. He stares meekly at the ground as he walks.

the song begins with the first line:

[I've learned to slam on the brakes...]

Having been staring at the ground, Starshower narrowly avoids stepping on another dragon's talons as they cross in front of him. He jumps back, startled and embarrassed.

[before I even turn the key]

He watches the other dragon walk away.

[before I make the mistake]

A different scene, young Starshower speaking to another dragon with a cheerful, excited expression, while the other dragon looks annoyed and uncomfortable.

[before I lead with the worst of me]

The other dragon walks away, leaving young Starshower alone and puzzled as to what the issue was.

"[Give them no reason to stare]!" A young adult Starshower tells himself while standing in a public area among other NightWings and RainWings going about their day. He says it out loud and many surrounding dragons hear, turning to look at him. There is an uncomfortable pause lasting about a second as he notices everyone watching him.

"[No slipping up if you slip away]" He mutters to himself as he leaves the crowded place.

"[So I got nothing to share]" Starshower tells another dragon now that he's older, and has learned that no one wants to hear him speak. The other dragon shrugs and walks away to rejoin their friends, figuring Starshower just wants to be left alone.

[No, I got nothing to say] Starshower briefly watches the dragon talk to their friends, then goes back to staring at the ground.

"[Step out, step out of the sun, if you keep getting burned]," Starshower sings, as if to remind himself to stop trying to socialize if it's never turned out well for him.

"[Step out, step out of the sun, because you've learned]" Starshower sings as he glides and jumps from tree to tree through the thick forest, looking for a safe hiding spot.

"[Because you've learned]" He reaches his favorite tree and perches on the sturdy branch, singing in order to process his frustration.

"[On the outside always looking in, will I]

[Ever be more than I've always been?] ['Cause I'm tap-tap-tapping on the glass] [Waving through a window, oh, I] [Try to speak, but nobody can hear, so I]

[Wait around for an answer to appear]

[While I'm watch-watch-watching people pass] [Waving through a window, oh]

[Can anybody see?]"

He sings out loud, alone in the forest.

"[Is anybody waving]"

Starshower notices a couple of colorful rainforest birds, curiously watching him sing. He loves birds; they are one of his favorite interests. "[Back at me?]"

He smiles excitedly, waving a wing at them as if they understand.

[We start with stars in our eyes]

The next scene is a flashback to when Starshower was younger and smaller. He sits on a woven platform in the Rainforest Kingdom. He is closely observing a cluster of flowers, when a young purple, blue, and gold RainWing, a male named Fabulous who has a crush on him, appears close next to him with a friendly smile.

[We start believing that we belong]

Starshower glances at the RainWing, and the RainWing greets Starshower with flirtatious intent, as implied by a speech bubble with a love heart inside it.

[But every sun doesn't rise]

Starshower doesn't catch Fabulous's meaning and replies with something about flowers, implied by his own speech bubble containing a similar flower to the one he was looking at a second ago.

[And no one tells you where you went wrong]

Starshower turns back to staring at his flowers, ignorant to how made the RainWing feel. The RainWing flushes an embarassed pinkish orange and a sad blue.

[Step out, step out of the sun, if you keep getting burned]

Fabulous steps away from Starshower, believing the NightWing to be hinting that he didn't like him back. He turns and walks to the edge of the platform and takes flight, gliding downward to offscreen. Starshower glances up and notices the RainWing leaving, then lifts his head and turns to watch in confusion.

[Step out, step out of the sun, because you've learned]

Starshower leaves his flowers and scrambles to the edge of the platform, watching Fabulous fly away with a confused frown. He wonders what he could have done wrong this time.

[Because you've learned]

Suddenly, Starshower appears to have realized his mistake. He looks briefly horrified, then smacks his own forhead with his front talon.

[On the outside, always looking in]

Flash forward again. Starshower stands outside of Jade Mountain in a gathering of dragons that are waiting for the tour of the school. He looks at the mountain with an amazed, slightly fearful expression.

[Will I ever be more than I've always been?]

Starshower swallows hard and walks toward the mountain, following the other dragons because the tour has started.

[Cause I'm tap-tap-tapping on the glass]

The scene cuts to Starshower with a focus on his front talons, as he stims by tapping his claws on his desk during a lesson in one of the cave classrooms.

[Waving through a window, oh]

A SandWing dragon growls at him and he stops tapping, folding his talons together, and fliches away from the annoyed dragon.

[I try to speak, but nobody can hear]

Starshower's ears prick up at something the teacher says and he raises his talon excitedly. In doing so, he half climbs up on his desk, and waves his talon at the teacher, desperately wanting to be called on. The teacher calls on someone else who was not paying attention, and frowns at Starshower to tell him to sit back down.

[So I wait around for an answer to appear]

Starshower does sit back down, his head tilts down and his ears droop as he feels rejected and disappointed that he didn't get to speak.

[While I'm watch-watch-watching people pass]

Story cuts to a scene of Starshower in the prey hall, looking a bit lost as dragons move busily around him. He walks carefully, so as not to step on any talons or tails.

[Waving through a window, oh]

Starshower notices the cave entrace from the prey hall that is open to the sky, and disdainfully glances at the splint on his wing that he got a few weeks ago, making him temporarily unable to fly. A fellow NightWing, much smaller than Starshower, swoops through the window into the cave, holding a piece of prey. The NightWing has extremely large, pale yellow eyes.

[Can anybody see?]

The smaller NightWing notices Starshower and points at his damaged wing, with no speech bubble or mouth movement as he is unable to speak. Starshower opens his mouth and appears to explain the origin of the damage, with a speech bubble containing a tree, implying his wing breaking was tree related.

[Is anybody waving...]

The small NightWing looks at Starshower, and then at the window, as if making the connection that Starshower can't hunt by himself. He holds his prey out to Starshower with a nod.

[Back at me?]

Starshower takes the prey after a moment of hesitation, with a shocked and bewildered expression.

[If you're falling in a forest, and there's nobody around]

A flashback to a couple of weeks prior. Starshower is back in the rainforest, looking at the birds that he waved at in the first verse.

[Do you ever really crash, or even make a sound?]

Starshower climbs to a higher branch to get a closer look at the birds, but accidentally startles them, and they fly to another tree.

[If you're falling in a forest, and there's nobody around]

Starshower chases after the birds, leaping and gliding from branch to branch through the forest canopy.

[Do you ever really crash, or even make a sound?]

Starshower continues chasing the birds.

[If you're falling in a forest]

Starshower begins sneaking up on the birds, closer than ever now.

[and there's nobody around]

Starshower leaps to catch the birds.

[Do you ever really crash]

His wing gets caught on a vine as he extends it to jump, and he is knocked off balance, falling from the tree branch.

[Or even make a sound?]

Starshower falls from the tree.

[If you're falling in a forest, and there's nobody around]

Starshower hits the ground, landing hard on his wing. He shakily sits up and looks around; shocked, embarrassed, in pain, and terrified.

[Do you ever really crash, or even make a sound?]

Starshower covers his face with his front talons as if to start crying.

"[Did I even make a sound?]"

Back at Jade Mountain, Starshower leans close to the cave wall in the prey hall as dragons pass. He looks around with wide eyes, appearing frozen, and breathes heavily in a panicked manner, overstimulated by all the motion and sound of dragons around him.

[Did I even make a sound?]

Starshower continues panicking, flinching as someone brushes past him too closely.

[It's like I never made a sound]

Starshower tears up, he feels like crying.

[Will I ever make a sound?]

He presses his talons over his ears because everyone is too loud.

[On the outside, always looking in]

The beginning of this chorus focuses on the NightWing that Starshower met in the prey hall. He wakes up at night, lifting his head and perking his ears as if he hears something interesting.

[Will I ever be more than I've always been?]

The thin, yellow-eyed NightWing steps out into the tunnel and marches toward the sound.

[Cause I'm tap-tap-tapping on the glass]

The NightWing's talonsteps as he makes his way through the dark cave.

[Waving through a window, oh]

The yellow-eyed NightWing finds the source of the sound: Starshower is by himself in the cave of the underground lake, singing out loud in the middle of the night. His back is turned to the smaller NightWing.

[I try to speak, but nobody can hear, so I wait around for an answer to appear]

Re-focused on Starshower, he is singing while pacing anxiously back and forth along the edge of the lake.

[While I'm watch-watch-watching people pass]

The yellow eyed NightWing sits in the cave entrance, watching and listening.

[Waving through a window, oh]

[Can anybody see?]

[Is anybody waving back at me?]

The yellow eyed NightWing steps closer, approaching behind Starshower.

[Oh, is anybody waving?]

Starshower looks up at the beams of moonlight from the top of the cave as he sings.

[Waving...] [Waving...]

[Woah, ohh]

Starshower turns his head just as he finishes the song, and jumps as he notices the other NightWing next to him. He stares at the yellow eyed NightWing with a surprised and unsure expression.

The yellow-eyed NightWing lifts his front talon and gives Starshower a small, shy wave to say "hello."

[terraliensvent]

Kuku again (probably my last response) sorry i don’t know how to link still 💔

I 100% agree, ignorance is a big issue in general, not just with these specific topics. it’s a problem that expands way farther, and being more aware of it helps us to actively better ourselves. I am definitely not perfect but that doesn’t excuse myself from the mistakes i make, it only pushes me to be better which i definitely will hold onto.

I appreciate your maturity post, puts a real No-Bullshit perspective and i fucking LOVE it. Lines can get really blurred and with the online presence it’s just entirely different. We didn’t grow up next to these people, we probably don’t even know what half of these guys look like lmao.

Just because you turn 18 doesn’t mean ur BOOM BAM!!! AN ADULT!! , half of the adults i’ve met on discord don’t even act like one. It can be really dangerous with this type of stuff, more people need to understand that a part of growing up is maturing, not just your age going up a number.

I love your opinions, views, and etc on things. You are such a real person, hope i can meet you sometime and say hi if you ever decide to show yourself. 🫶 And most importantly thank you for being honest with everything you do

post related

yeah, especially when it comes to the maturity aspect i think a lot of people in terras just dont consider the full ramifications of the things they put out there, and that can be said for a lot of the issues in the species.

and a lot of these people have been online since they were super young; being in the internet environment so often and from such a young age can cause you to again blur the lines of connection and cause them to think they can interact with large servers the same way they interact with irl friends, when its actually a drastically different environment and dynamic

the art community and furry fandom especially has an issue with the “18 year olds are automatically adults” thing, just look how many of them will start making NSFW and posting things like “all minors dni yall are annoying as fuck” when they havent even been 18 for a month.

and i really appreciate the kindness, i am just some random person but i try to be as thoughtful as i can with certain things like this. art, cs, and furry spaces are full of really fake people wearing toxic positivity masks, and i just hate having to put up a front like that so if theres one thing im gonna do on here its be real and upfront about my thoughts and opinions

thanks to all u anons who like listening to me :)

[angelhummel]

Controversial opinion time! I see a lot of people saying Kurt didn’t get this solo for sectionals or whatever. But he did get a lot more than others - like a fully developed characterization and relationship. He also got a relationship with a developed parent and family which others didn’t. So his fans are lucky in that respect.

okayyy obviously i dont disagree with you about all that bc its true. i really think kurt was THE most developed character on the show. plus he really seemed to be (one of) the only characters that actually kept growing forward instead of having a dozen redundant backslides like everyone else seemed to

but

it's a singing show i wanna see my baby sing xD

okay so. kurt did get a ton of good solos. aaand i think almost every one of them was amazing. like maybe some aren't my personal faves but i think they're all good (except i'll remember, my worst enemy </3 [and even then its just the context thats stinky])

it wasnt like with rachel or blaine or yes i'm sorry even mercedes who had like a dozen throwaway solos that all sound the same and it's like obviously you sound good but we've heard this a million times before and im boreddd. obviously personal music taste is going to factor in but i think kurt's range of solos were like the least repetitive and boring lmao (out of those listed above. i think other characters had a good variety)

plus like a good chunk of the "solos" listed on kurt's wiki page are like "album version only" bc it was a duet in the show. defying gravity, dcfma, bring him home, and a house is not a home are all listed under his solos (and out of those, i still count ahinah as a solo cause finn had like one dusty line and its easy to ignore) but he only had 13 real true solos throughout the show

he was the only original club member not to get even one last solo in s6 (while rachel had 4, mercedes had 3, and even sam and santana got their own)

also there were plenty of instances of him having a solo line in a group song that was also album only and got cut in the show version :|

Also they weirdly limited his number of duet partners?? like he had a million duets with blaine and rachel, and outside of that, two with mercedes, two with elliott, and two with maggie (that chris had to write in himself) and 5/6 of those were in s5 alone... where were his duets with the rest of the glee club?? where's my kurtana duet, my hevans duet, my kurtina duet, my kartie duet, i could literally go on all day for every club member

ALSO it's like they purposefully wrote in moments for him to sing just to have him not sing. he organizes a whole wedding for his dad and gets the glee club to perform but he doesnt actually get to sing. he organizes a vday party at breadstix but doesnt sing. literally every other major soloist in the club is gone and his big competition moment is like 2 lines. he forms his own goddamn band just to not sing a single word in the first song that they perform. and when his band does perform its 1) in a fantasy sequence and then 2) happens off screen

so idk like i think if you just look at everything he did, it's all pretty good. but once you look deeper and really start to examine it you're like ...wait a minute. like even if he got a lot (especially compared to like quinn or tina) the show still manages to make it feel like he got cheated lmao and i just think they were playing dirty at times

but idk he's my fave so im always gonna want more for him but i am happy with what we do have. and happy he's the best character ever no questions asked uwu

[blvenote]

hi yumi!!! my thoughts from the chapter r below the cut as always <3 IM SO EXCITED FOR THE NEXT CHAPTERS THO WE LOVE A GOOD HONGJOONG INTRODUCTION

• WEEENDYYYYY IN THE HOUSE!! also the pigeons r me watching yn get ready like she's the roast beef salting herself to be served on a platter

• ^ because political figures dont like admitting that they're corrupt, and/or that they got help :) and yk... ateez prob does a lot of... unsavory things behind the curtain that normal people disagree w

• wendy sus as hell (in the best way possible lol), but i like how she dodged that question so obviously HAHA

• i think dysfunctional family relationships r so interesting; i love writing them and i love reading abt them ofc as well. the thing u wrote abt how maybe his humanity awakened when he thought abt his children is so interesting too. like where do these awful people draw the line? their own flesh and blood? is pretending they never existed/hiding them away better than killing them altogether?

• LMAO KIHYUN AND YN W THE CURTAINS IS LITERALLY MY MOM AND ME 💀💀💀 whenever im home, i always start pulling open the curtains to make it brighter and my mom hisses like she's a vampire... sheesh

• hmmm the contrast and nuance of /types/ of gangs on the streets here is interesting too; like the organized crime groups are different depending on what they did during the war

• I LOVE LIQUOR LORE I HOPE WE GET TO HEAR ABT BLACK SHADOW'S HISTORY

• "could he be holding a scary title as well or was it something worse?" i love that titles are never the "something worse" cuz a criminal is the best when u don't know they're a criminal

• "lieut. yunho is FORGIVING?" im sorry i laughed 😭 i read that like yns eyes went wide like u gotta be shitting me yeo, if ur gonna lie at least try to make it sound accurate 😭 BUT IIIINTERESTING HMMMM why would yunho be the most forgiving? he's just a soft boyo underneath all that lanky-limbed scariness 😔💔

• also where is mingi and jongho and wooyo, we havent introduced them yet right 😭

• ah i love tsundere jihoon . hard, stale rice on the outside, fluffy warm rice on the inside

• YUMI UR BIAS IS SHOWING W THOSE YUNHO DESCRIPTIONS BAHAHHAHA

• I KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BETRAYED BY BOTH BLOOD AND WATER ??? OOOOOOO THAT LINE HITS SO GOOD OMG I NEED TO BORROW THIS WHAT

• im tweaking after that last part of the meeting WHAT. like im sputtering like a boiling teapot WHAT we're dancing a tango here and i love it

• hints at the possibility of having known each other before during the war????? i like the smell of this easter egg 😌 love the hints of further backstory slowly coming in to fill in the gaps!! also jaemin is a menace as usual, wbk

• HES LIKE A STRAY CAT FIDNFKDNDKDN IM GONNA CRY LMFAO

• pledis manufacturers??? bites lip more new characters for the ensemble!! very fun

• i Iike the pointing to and connecting of details during seonghwa and yns convo, the finanical aid to the glance at the pearl ring — both r quire observant, which ig is an essential skill to survive in this business (one wrong move can result in ur life ruined) and ive def mentioned this before but THE POLITICAL INTRIGUE!!! the details like the sirens rebel party and ateez-mx pharma being on the "same side" r so good and add so much to the immersiveness

• ODDLY FAMILIAR??? kim hongjoong i see u... i am connecting the dots... also i love that yn gasps at his appearance and we both agree that he is certified yummy

• awh i like how youve developed san and yns relationship to be far more casual now that they arent like directly a boss-employee kind of dynamic, its a nice contrast to have this convo w san in the middle of all the office tension 0_0

• OKAAAAAAY i kind of enjoyed the fencing match btwn joong and yn, tho it was mostly joong making the parries, but yn did have a good handle w that strictland tip kdngldnfk and at least joong isnt an asshole enpugh to completely ignore her warnings. truly i went into this chapter believing he was going to be an asshole AND stupid 💀 BUT CONTACTING THE RV SPIES?? UHHHH NEWSFLASH SHE LITERALLY LIVES W ONE

overall, very VERY intriguing chapter!! i loved the subtle tension that was present throughout the entire chapter, like even tho there wasn't any action like last chapter, i was def still on the edge of my seat. im so excited to see how the plot continues to unfold in the next chapters :')))

The Leaders | Chapter II

"this is the underworld that no one escapes from."

masterlist

ot8!ateez x f!reader, mafia au

chapter warnings: drinking, smoking, illegal businesses, mentions of gangs, war/military and weapons, hongjoong is the designated asshole in this chapter

chapter wc: 10.9k

chapter synopsis: you learn more about ateez from your housemate, wendy, and from kihyun of mx pharmaceuticals who is also the crescent’s business partner. you get familiar with your new job at the crescent company’s main office and learn about their deal with secretary park. wanting to stop them from that harmful deal, you finally speak up only for the boss, hongjoong, to remind you that you are just a bookkeeper. 

prev chapter recap: an attack on the crescent bar prompts you, the bookkeeper of the crescent bar, to carry out yeosang’s order and flee with the contents of the safe. however, you have discovered a secret package which leads you to a confrontation with the underboss, park seonghwa, who has no choice but to kill you. to save yourself, you reveal that you possess some information about the elites that could be useful to them, and that you are willing to exchange this information for your life. that lands you a job at the crescent company’s main office and you have a rocky first day, getting to know the ins-and-outs of your new workplace and colleagues.

For the beginning of a new chapter of your life, which could take a very sinister turn, it sure was awfully sunny today, the pigeons on your window sill taking great joy in the way you would pause in the middle of getting ready and reconsider all your life choices so far. Their cheerful chirps were starting to annoy you and you couldn’t help but shoot deathly glares in their direction. 

It was your first official work day as the bookkeeper in the main office of the Crescent Company, and you were done getting ready– as ready as you could be with your heart threatening to burst out of your chest. It didn’t help that when you exited your room, you immediately had your housemate’s attention who let out a dramatic whistle at the sight of you.

“Woah. That’s quite a formal outfit for the bar,” Wendy said, stopping in the middle of stirring the pot, the fragrant scent of rosemary and chicken broth filling your nostrils. “Also… why are you still home?”

You turned to the full-length mirror in the living room, inspecting your outfit for the day– a pleated navy blue skirt that reached mid-calves paired with a blue tweed jacket, your feet clad in ivory kitten heels. Just the right outfit to make good first impressions, yet it was a struggle to ignore the urge to go back to your closet and restart the lengthy process of choosing another outfit.

“Uh…” you took a deep breath while tucking the stray strands of your hair back in the half-tied hairdo, bracing yourself for her reaction. “I may have gotten a new job at the Crescent Company.”

The room fell awfully silent and you turned to Wendy, finding her deadpan staring at you.

Odd.

“Something wrong?” You frowned in confusion. 

“The Crescent Company?” Wendy repeated and you nodded. It was strange, the soberness in her tone, when you were expecting enthusiastic theatrical reactions from her. “When?”

“Literally yesterday,” you turned your full attention to her, wondering if she was cross with you for not letting her know earlier. “I start working officially from today.”

“How did you get this job?” Wendy asked, finally doing something else other than assessing your form. She turned the stove off, setting the pot on the table where you joined her for breakfast.

“Well… one thing led to another. Some gang attacked the bar two nights ago and when I carried out my instructions– which were to get the contents of the safe and run– they decided… that I am good at my job and would do better in some other environment.”

“I heard about the attack, yes,” Wendy said, munching on a piece of bread. “But I thought it was a fight outside the bar, not an attack inside. Is that how you got these tiny scratches all over you?” You pursed your lips in answer and Wendy continued. “Are you sure this is the right job for you? Because let’s be real– we all know who Ateez is. You should be avoiding that gang– didn’t you want to lay low?”

Ateez. Known throughout all the eight sectors of Eden and its capital, the gang formed after the Battle of the Eight Hills and layed a vital role in the rebuilding of Eden afterwards. Really, you wondered if they had done so much for Eden, why were they feared and labelled as a criminal organisation?

“I am laying low,” you sipped the broth as you said, “It’s just an office job– paperwork.”

“I don’t know, Luna,” she said, clearly worried. “I’m not sure about this.”

“Do you know something you’re not telling me?” You asked but Wendy kept a straight face which meant there was something. “In fact… refresh my memory a little since I wasn’t here when Ateez was at the peak of their career, but who is Ateez? What do they really do?”

Wendy took a deep breath as if contemplating opening her pandora of secrets for you but then she checked her wristwatch to your utter disappointment. “Next time or else we’ll both be late. Just… stay safe, will you?”

“Oh, I will. I keep the gun in my purse, you know,” you smirked and Wendy finally relaxed, smiling back. “See you tonight if you aren’t snoring by that time– my shift ends at the strike of midnight.”

“Heavens, that’s late,” Wendy winced. “What are you doing up so early then? You should have slept some more.”

You should have, but you had a little stop to make before you clocked in at midday at your workplace– the stop being at the office of MX Pharmaceuticals located in the heart of Sector 1 with all the other businesses and offices. It was only the Crescent Office which was situated right outside that hotspot, and you were starting to think that it was a calculated move on their part. With their status, they could be situated in the slums and still be flourishing– the leaders of Sector 1.

It was a bit strange to walk the streets of your block and not allow your muscle memory to take you in the direction of the Crescent Bar. It felt alleviating, even, to not cross the old lady on the pavement selling crocheted goods to make a living. Somehow, she always made you feel guilty about having the privilege of connections. You could very well have been sitting there at the corner of the road instead of her, selling your paintings or embroideries if Kihyun hadn’t helped you land a job when you came back to Eden from Wonderland just a few years ago.

Because your father always made sure you would never be in the spotlight. There was a reason he basically shipped you to Wonderland– though you often wondered if that was justification enough. He claimed that you could study more if you wished to while you looked after your aunt but really… you knew that he wanted to get rid of you because you found out his dark, dirty secrets– things you were never supposed to find out. It was a shame he couldn’t kill his own daughter and bury those secrets along with her. Maybe his humanity awakened when he thought about his children. 

You could spot the MX Office when you took a turn left into the busy, bustling street with corporate slaves ready to sign in for their daily dose of torture. To your demise, you were blending right in. You walked towards the office, which was a brick-coloured building just like the rest of the offices in this street. The guard at the front door recognised you and nodded in greeting, as did the receptionist and a few employees, aware that you had some sort of a relationship with their boss, though no one dared to ask the nature of it.

The boss, Kihyun, was a respectable figure in all of Eden as a powerful businessman and a former gang member. Each connection he made was for a reason, but you were not just a connection. You respected each other far too much to refer to each other as just a ‘connection’. 

You were being accompanied to Kihyun’s room when on the stairs, you encountered Hyungwon.

“Miss Jeon– what brings you here?” He asked. It had been a while since you saw the manager of MX Pharmaceuticals. He was usually found at one of the labs or warehouses that MX owned. “Good to see you.”

“Hope you’ve been well,” you smiled. “I’m here to see Kihyun.”

Hyungwon nodded at the assistant who left and you followed Hyungwon upstairs. “Kihyun just arrived. How has it been?”

“I’m doing good. I got a new job so I was going to tell him about that and discuss a few things.”

“Oh, that’s nice to hear,” Hyungwon knocked at Kihyun’s door before opening it for you. “I’ll send some tea. And you know that if you need anything, we’re here, right?”

You nodded, smiling earnestly at his reminder. “Thank you. Have a good day.”

You entered Kihyun’s room, closing the door behind you. His room was as neat as ever with a variety of indoor plants lining the huge windows that provided a view of Maddox Street. You walked past that window, drawing the cerulean curtains away and Kihyun tsk-ed at you.

“You’re back at it, eh?”

“You need someone who will pull the curtains open every day. I can’t keep doing that for you,” you grinned, joining him at his desk. He was clad in a navy button-down shirt, his hair combed back. “How have you been?”

He spread his arms in answer. “Right in front of you. As good as ever. But I’ve heard you are doing better lately.”

“Heard the news already?” You shook your head. “Once I find your informant, I’m gonna give them an earful.”

“We’re the Crescent’s business partners. I should know the happenings,” Kihyun said, waiting for the assistant to leave the tea for you before continuing. “Tell me… how did it happen?”

“Let’s say I passed a trust test,” you said, adding a sugar in your tea and two in his, just as he liked. “I’m the Crescent’s bookkeeper now.”

“That must not have been easy.”

“Actually, yes,” you took a sip of the black tea. “I almost got killed. I had to win their favour.”

“And how did you do that?” Kihyun frowned.

“I played a few cards,” you admitted and he groaned in disbelief. “It was that or I die.”

“They would not have killed you–”

“They knew we were acquainted, and they were ready to kill me,” you interjected. “I only told them that I’m aware of Assemblyman General Wi’s artefact gallery.”

“Luna,” Kihyun leaned forward, clasping his hands. “You know the game you are playing right now is a dangerous one–”

“I know that I have to keep my identity hidden, and I’m sure they only know what’s on the documents–”

“Let me finish,” Kihyun said in a low voice and you slumped back. “It’s not just about your identity. You know who they are, don’t you? Ateez? They were once a gang, and they always play dirty.”

“So were you, Kihyun,” you reminded him. “Back in your early days, before my father took you under his wing.”

Kihyun clenched his jaw– he did not need to be reminded of his ugly past. “We were not children of war when we were a gang, Luna. The Crescents– Ateez– they are children of war. They served the army when they should have been fooling around with other kids their age or studying. A nineteen year old Kim Hongjoong became a well-known military strategist in the Battle of the Eight Hills. Another nineteen year old Park Seonghwa became a sniper and a medic– a god awful combination, don’t you think? And an eighteen year old Jeong Yunho became an honoured lieutenant colonel, for heaven’s sake. Those are the people you have involved yourself with.”

That was the first time you heard about their achievements during the war and you realised with a creeping dread that Kihyun might be right about this.

“Us? We were just a street gang, Luna. We were kids who rebelled, who got lucky because your father, a politician, saw potential in us and hired us as his informants. Ateez are different, and it would do you better if you stay aware of them.”

You took a deep breath. “Do you think they will dig into my past?”

“I can’t promise they won’t,” Kihyun relaxed, finally smiling and drinking his tea. “But I’ll see if I can do something. Just make sure to stay in the shadows.”

“Until it’s time,” you reminded him.

His expressions didn’t change. “Still conjuring up revenge plans?”

“You know how stubborn I am,” you traced the gold outline on the cup. “I cannot forgive my father for taking my identity and shipping me to Wonderland as if I meant nothing to him.”

“I’m sure you mean something to him. You are his daughter, after all.”

“I’m sure I don’t, and I don’t need him,” you said, looking at the boss of MX. “You are my family if I ever had one, Kihyun. I am in your debt for everything that you have done for me.”

“Nonsense,” he waved his hand and you stifled a smile at the way he always got a little shy when you called him family or brother. “You don’t owe me anything. I would have done that for anyone.”

“You risked your business and your life for me. You don’t do that for just anyone,” you concluded and he smiled in answer. It was a truth that he could not deny. “You can call it whatever you want, but let me feel about it however I want too.”

“I can see how you might have talked them out of killing you, you stubborn brat,” Kihyun said, laughing. He stared into the distance, taking a few moments to think. “I heard you will be answering to Park Seonghwa and Jeong Yunho. That worries me.”

“It is just work,” you told him, though you were wholly aware that it was not just work. “You don’t need to worry too much.”

After a busy midday shift at the Crescent Office with Eunha and Jihoon, you decided to pay a visit to the Crescent Bar– you were free for the rest of the afternoon and could squeeze in a lunch with your friends. Plus, you were not sure that you could do the night shift without some liquid courage in your system. 

The bar was as lively as it could be during day hours, with people popping in from work to get a drink or a meal. The employees– your old coworkers– warmly welcomed you and you went to sit at the counter with Eunbi and Jeonghan, just like the old times.

“How has it been without me?” You teased Eunbi who wrapped her arms loosely around your waist, snuggling beside you. 

“Boring. Jeonghan is always pretending to sleep so I can’t really talk to anyone anymore.”

“I am actually asleep,” Jeonghan raised his hand as a sign that he was alive. He looked like a corpse, actually, if you could put it nicely. Eunbi gave you a pointed look.

“Got a new bookkeeper yet?”

“Not yet,” she said, going back to the cash register when she saw a customer approach. You walked to the staff room, catching up with Yuju who ordered your favourite grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch with Black Shadow– probably the best wine you had tasted in your life, if you were objective. You knew there was a backstory to how Ateez made that wine their staple, but you figured you would hear about it someday later. For now, you had another purpose that led you to Yeosang’s office.

Yeosang opened the door when you knocked, blinking in surprise. “Aren’t you supposed to be at the main office?”

“Good evening? How have you been doing? How has work been?” You glared at him. “I’m good, thank you for asking.”

Yeosang snickered, letting you in and you took the seat in front of him. You sighed deeply, folding your arms. “I kind of miss this, I won’t lie. I feel like an outsider there, and it’s only my first day. Shift doesn’t start for another hour, by the way.”

“Would you like a drink?” He offered and you shook your head, telling him you just had lunch. “Well, Miss y/n. How can I help you today?”

You passed him the side-eye. “It’s still Luna for you. And I wanted to ask you a few things that I really should have asked before.”

“Ah… is it time for those questions?” Yeosang relaxed back, resting his hands behind his head, his muscles poking out from under the ivory dress shirt. You watched him for a moment, wondering what his accomplishments during the war were. Could he be holding a scary title as well, or was it something worse?

“Yes. You can’t blame me for being curious after the stunt the underboss pulled that night. True to your name, Ateez.”

It was the first time you ever referred to them with their gang name and he only watched you in silence, waiting for you to continue. It irked you that his expressions gave away nothing. Trained to give away nothing, a distant voice in your mind said. 

“Just tell me if there’s anything I need to know for now. I’m reporting directly to Mr. Park and… Mr. Jeong. I really don’t want to make a mistake.”

“You weren’t worried when you started working under me.”

“That’s because… you are you,” you tried to explain, ignoring the faint ache in your heart. “You don’t go around wearing formal suits and looking down on people and being… weird.”

“We don’t look down on people,” Yeosang sighed, though he was smiling at your admission. “Was Yunho weird towards you? What did he do now?”

“How did you– he didn’t do anything,” you told him. It was uncanny how well they knew each other. “I just want you to tell me if there’s something I should be aware of so I don’t make a mistake.”

Yeosang thought it was strange that you were asking such a question. He wished he could ask you what exactly you meant. Just what mistakes were you so afraid to make? Why did you always have to be cautious and walk on eggshells, even around him, even when you claimed that you were comfortable with him?

“I don’t think that you realise that Yunho is the only one of us who will forgive you even if you betray us in the worst possible way– he would still try to understand your reasons.”

Your eyes went a little wide as you let his words sink in. “Lieutenant Colonel Jeong Yunho… is forgiving?”

“I don’t know what you’ve heard about us,” Yeosang leaned forward, speaking gently. “But I can promise you that it’s not the entire truth. We are more than what you people make us to be, if you care to look past the ranks and titles.”

You didn’t understand what he meant by that, and you were too scared to ask. You couldn’t stop thinking about his admission about Yunho. You really couldn’t see it– he always looked so strict, in the traditional sense. Even when he had a hint of a smile on his lips last night, you couldn’t envision him to be someone who could sympathise with the ugliness of the people who were driven into the corner. Perhaps, because Yeosang was his friend, he was able to look past everything and see the lieutenant’s true, unmarred nature, but to you…

To you, he was Lieutenant Colonel Jeong Yunho. And you intended to keep it that way, for everyone’s sake.

Later, when you were at work and taking a breather, having just finished recording the day’s transactions, you reminded yourself that your relationship with Yeosang had turned too casual. Sure, it was the way he was with everyone at the bar– almost everyone. It was different with you, whether you liked it or not. Even though you had wanted to keep a distance from Yeosang, you just couldn’t. After all, you went to him right after hearing about their old gang days. 

You made a mental note to learn more about Ateez and the Crescent Company, and to learn about the extent of their involvement in Eden’s business world. You needed any information you could get your hands on, every detail whether true or not. If you were going to play this game and use them for your goal, you needed to know that the Crescents were not involved with your father and his business in any way. 

You needed to know if what they did was truly moral and right. And if you needed to sneak into places where you weren’t meant to go and possibly risk your life again… you would. 

It took you about a week to fully get the hang of things at the office. While Jihoon was still being an arse– at this point, you were starting to consider that it might be a part of his personality– he never refused to guide you or help you when you were stuck. Eunha was just as helpful and you were actually starting to like her a little. She wasn’t very talkative but considering that she was able to make Jihoon laugh… you were tempted to take pointers from her. Jihoon had worked the longest here and you needed to crack him to get him to talk.

In that one week, you got a chance to go into Mr. Jeong’s room twice, when he was not present to take the report from you himself. You made it quick– unlock the room, unlock the cupboard and place the report inside, look around if you had a few seconds and get the hell out. It was too soon to make a mistake so you only dared to make note of what the office looked like. There wasn’t much to it anyway– just the usual workspace, and it frustrated you that his workspace gave away nothing about him.

Mr. Jeong, you noted, usually came to the office during your shift at the late hours of night, presumably after dinner. You learned that Kim Hongjoong was out of station for some business dealing which was why the office was mostly empty, but also that this was where they usually gathered to meet up and discuss things. This office was sort of a base and if not here, they would be at the bar, though they generally avoided it because of obvious reasons. There was no saying when a drunkard fool, or two, would dare to interrupt them.

Yunho usually locked himself inside his office (Eunha was very suspicious that he usually napped there, claiming to have heard light snores sometimes) and Seonghwa came by twice that week, greeting you and asking if you were adjusting well. Neither of them had interacted with you much during the week but…

You recalled two nights ago when Yunho came back to the office just as it was closing time. You handed him the report and he called you inside his office to discuss a few things. When he was going over the report, he asked you if you had any problems with work recently.

“None at all,” you assured him. “It is manageable.”

He flicked through the pages, the white sleeves of his shirt rolled up over his sleeves, baring his veiny arms. You resisted the urge to trace all those veins on his arms– Jeong Yunho was one handsome man. It didn’t help that he had such beautiful hands either. Why were you assigned to submit him the reports every night? What was this new form of torture?

He caught you staring at his hands but he didn’t comment on it. Instead, he finished checking the report and shut the folder, running his hands over the cover once before clearing his throat to get your attention. You met his stare, pretending that you had not been ogling at his hands and arms– or at least, fake confidence that you were normal about it. 

“You were right about the artefact gallery,” Yunho said and you straightened. “It is indeed a money-laundering business. He is an assemblyman, a potential presidential candidate and, well, that’s a bad look for him with the elections right around the corner. How did you know when even his enemies aren’t aware of this information? And more importantly… do you want us to do something about it?”

“How I know does not matter,” you shook your head, adamant to not tell them your source. “It is just a piece of information that might be useful to you later. I am aware that your leader has been well involved with politicians– for connections, to secure deals. If you ever need leverage over General Wi, here is what you can use.”

Yunho took a deep breath at your response. You watched him scan you slowly, his eyes unreadable. “Is your source Yoo Kihyun of MX Pharmaceuticals?”

You looked down to hide your smile. “I have heard that you are well acquainted with him. He was more of a recipient than a source until a few years ago. The tables have turned now, but we still share information, and I was told that you could be trusted with the information I have. Is that still true?” 

He rubbed his chin in thought. “That depends on how useful the information you possess is. And it also depends on how loyal you are.”

“I am loyal to anyone who is loyal to me,” you said with a certainty that surprised him. “I know what it is like to be betrayed by blood and water both. To me, loyalty is the highest virtue.”

“Higher than morality?” He asked with a certain nonchalance, perhaps expecting to pin you in a corner, but…

“And what is morality, in this era?” You mused. “I’m sure you ask that question yourself often… Lieutenant Jeong.”

You seemed to have hit the nail because his gaze darkened. Perhaps, you should not have reminded him of his military rank, but to be Eden’s honoured lieutenant colonel and possess some fair morals? It didn’t add up even after Yeosang had said all the good things about him.

“I know what my morals are, Miss Jeon,” Yunho leaned forwards, locking his eyes with you and you wish some of his dark tendrils hid a bit of his eyes because that gaze was damning. “Do you? Or do you like to make yourself believe that you are the only virtuous one in the room?”

Maybe it was a dangerous game you were playing but you mirrored his position, your clasped hands almost brushing his as you said, “Oh, I have the lowest moral standards. In order to survive in Eden, especially when you’re on your own… you can’t go around possessing such foolish things as virtue, isn’t that so?”

Yunho looked down at your clasped hands, spotting the fading scar that ran along your thumb down to your wrist– one that you had gotten the night you lost everything. 

And then he ran a finger across it, ever so slowly, sending a trail of fire in its wake before getting up and wearing his coat, indicating that the meeting was over.

Damn him. Damn him and his stupid, beautiful hands–

“Goodnight, Luna,” he said in a low voice and you got up as well, gathering your wits before exiting the room.

“Goodnight… Mr. Jeong.”

And that had been the last time you saw him. It was Mr. Park who took the reports from you the day after, and last night you locked the office yourself about half an hour after midnight– you did not know why you stayed waiting for somebody to show up, but you felt a bit stupid afterwards. You should have clocked out on time.

You did not know why you waited.

You were so lost in your thoughts that you almost did not hear the sound of footsteps skittering in the direction of the office rooms. You looked up, gaping at what had to be a fifteen year old considering his scrawny appearance, moving not towards Yunho’s office but Kim Hongjoong’s. You frowned– how did he get past the guard?

“Oi,” you called but when he proceeded to knock at the boss’ door, you decided you had enough and slammed a hand on the desk to get his attention. “Oi, kid!”

“Is the Captain not inside?” he turned to look at you, looking as surprised to see you as you were. “Who are you?”

“Who are you?” you beckoned him to come nearer and he obeyed this time. “How did you get in?”

“I have something the Captain might like,” he grinned. “Still not back from his little trip to Edenary?”

So that’s where he was. The Capital of Eden, the land of the elites. “Uh… nope. Why you calling him ‘the Captain’?”

“Because that’s who he is?” He shook his head in disapproval. “New here?”

You scoffed in disbelief. “Kid, if you don’t tell me who you are, I’m going to have to escort you out.”

“No need, I’ll see myself out,” he winked at you and you laughed this time. You had to admit he was kind of cute for a kid even though you wanted to smack him on his head. You didn’t recall seeing him on the streets– his loose flannel shirt and newsboy cap was a look you thought you would have remembered. “I’m Jaemin, the informant. I answer directly to the Captain, so don’t even think about asking me what this was about.”

“You could still tell me, it could be our little secret,” you smirked but he shook his head. You stuck your tongue out at him. “Alright then. He’s supposed to come back tomorrow, I think. Should I let him know some kid was looking for him?”

Jaemin narrowed his eyes. “You haven’t met him yet, have you?”

“No,” you said. “Why?”

Jaemin only smiled condescendingly in answer. “You’ll find out. No need to tell him, I’ll be back soon.”

With that, the kid disappeared downstairs, leaving you wondering why he called the boss ‘the Captain’. It didn’t refer to his military rank because you knew that he was an honoured military strategist and colonel. You recently heard from Wendy that he had played a vital role towards the end of the war before the treaty between Eden and Halaland was signed. At such a young age, it was impressive. He was only a year older than you so he must have been about twenty when he earned that honour.

You distantly wondered if you ever came across him during the war. You had volunteered as a medical assistant– almost a nurse– in the latter half of the war. You had spent two whole years training medically and assisting the doctors and nurses. There weren’t many people in Eden so you might have encountered one of the Ateez men there, though you weren’t sure if you would recognise each other now. 

Moments later, you heard another pair of footsteps coming, this time familiar. Mr. Park, dressed in his usual black three-piece suit, met your gaze and sent a warm smile in your direction before he approached you.

“How are we doing tonight, Luna?”

“Good, Mr. Park. How about you?” You asked, taking tonight’s report and following him to Yunho’s office. “Did you perhaps see a kid leaving the building?”

Seonghwa chuckled at that. “You might find it hard to believe but that kid has saved lives with the information he shares.”

So the kid had not lied. “Impressive.”

Seonghwa waited until you took the seat in front of him. “He is like a stray cat who has marked us as his owners. We cannot take him in– he is too young, and he does not need to share the same fate the rest of us did, yeah? But he is a kid that nobody notices, and he uses that to his advantage. Next time you see him, ask him how he struck a deal with his ‘captain’.”

You laughed softly at that. “I will.”

Seonghwa nodded and started skimming through the reports. You told him that the new batch of liquor– specifically Black Shadow– had successfully been shipped to Mist Island. The shipment of their latest copper bullets was on the way too. You were surprised when you first found out that Mist Island was willing to trade weapons for liquor. Mist Island had a strict liquor import ban so the smuggling was being done secretly from both sides. It was impressive what money could buy.

Silence, Jihoon had told you one day when he was in a good mood. Silence of the police force.

You still hadn’t figured out what exactly they were doing with the weapons– you were aware that a lot of their money was being used in their business partnership with Pledis Manufacturers who were producers of machine parts. Your best guess was that they were involved in the weapons business and doing something undercover. You couldn’t question anyone about that yet. It was too soon.

“Good job, tonight,” Seonghwa said his usual words but this time, he did not dismiss you. Instead, he rested his back on the chair to look at you. “There are a few questions about your background that I must ask you before our boss arrives tomorrow, Luna. I’m hoping you will cooperate.”

There it was. They must have been done with the background check now. You wondered how much they found. “As best as I can while protecting myself, I will.”

Seonghwa smiled at that. “It’s not that I don’t trust you. Neither is it that I trust you already– Yeosang did, but that was different. You are now involved in the heart of the business that the Crescent Company does, so I have to make sure you’re suitable for this job, right?”

You were glad it was Mr. Park who was asking you these questions right now. Something about his presence was utterly calming and you could relax a little while talking to him. If you were objective, you could say that perhaps, it was his strategy to get you to lower your guard. But still… he was always soft spoken and kind. That did not change. 

“I understand, Mr. Park,” you assured him. 

“I could not find the records of your family… Miss Jeon,” he emphasised at your surname and you nodded. “You’re not a Jeon, are you?”

“It is a surname I borrowed around the time of the war, but I can assure you that I am from Eden. I was born here and have lived here all my life, at the Sector 1 border… save for a few years that I was not here.” Almost the truth. You had lived in Edenary, at the outskirts that met with Sector 1.

“And where were you? Where did you go in 1963?”

You exhaled. “Wonderland, to look after my sick aunt and get some further education.”

“Where, in Wonderland? Can I confirm that?” Seonghwa asked.

“The capital, Wonder City” you told him. “I’m not related to that aunt. She’s just an acquaintance who was willing to take me in. I looked after her and she gave me the financial help I needed.”

“Financial help,” Seonghwa repeated, glancing at your pearl ring that you always wore. He had an eye for things, and he knew that the pearl could not be in the hands of someone who was struggling financially. You could not have worn it so proudly if you had stolen it, so was it a family ring? A normal middle-class family could not afford such a pearl.

Just who were you?

“Yes,” you confirmed, willing him to trust you. “I might be wearing a pearl from Maddox & Co., Mr. Park, but that does not mean that I was showered in luxuries all my life. You must have found out that I was desperate for a job when I came back in 1966.”

Seonghwa nodded, swiping his hair back and exhaling. “Alright, I’ll let it be for now. You only need to tell us if you are related in any way to our rival gangs or the Sirens Rebel Party.”

“I am not your enemy,” you confirmed. “I cannot be acquainted with Yoo KIhyun and be in cahoots with any of your enemies. You have the same rivals.”

“Today’s friend is tomorrow’s rival,” Seonghwa mused. “Today’s enemy might be tomorrow’s lifesaver.”

“Then it is up to you, whatever you want me to be,” you smirked. “Rival or friend.”

Seonghwa nodded in thought, a bit amused, proceeding to pour you both some wine. While he downed it in one gulp, you sipped on it slowly, anticipating his next move.

“Do you perhaps have another tip for us?” Seonghwa raised a brow, amused.

“I might have, regarding your latest dealings with General Wi, but I will wait until both sides are clear.”

“Good,” Seonghwa shut the folder in conclusion. “I will take the leap of trust in you, Luna. Maybe you can do the same for us?”

“For you… yes, I can,” you told him. “I have one favour to ask, though.”

“Another one, already?” Seonghwa teased.

“You have a meeting scheduled with Secretary Park Byung Eun on the 14th, right?” You asked, the name leaving the most bitter taste in your mouth.

“President Lee’s secretary, yes,” Seonghwa nodded. “Do you know him?”

“Everyone knows him,” you said. While he was the President's current secretary, his name was well-known before that as one of the most successful businessmen in Eden. “You must be meeting because of a potential pharma-collaboration?”

“That’s right,” Seonghwa frowned, anticipating what was next.

You took a deep breath. “Do not reveal all your cards to that man. Do not let them know what you are up to.”

“Is that your way of telling us to be careful?” Seonghwa snorted. “We never show all our cards in the first meeting, Luna.”

“Neither do they,” you warned him and his smile fell. “Secretary Park’s team has a penchant for tricking you into deals. I’m just asking you to think this deal through. Whatever they are offering you won’t be very beneficial in the long run.”

“And how do you know that?”

“That doesn’t matter,” you told him. “If you need sources, or funds, you don’t need to rely on the Secretary Park.”

“You don’t know what business we conduct here, Luna–”

“I don’t need to know to warn you,” you insisted, feeling that tight knot of frustration build up in the back of your throat now. “I’m only asking you to think this through and take my words into consideration.”

“Your words, Miss Jeon, lack credibility right now,” he stated in a finalising tone, a pang of hurt shooting through your chest for a moment. He was right, though. They had no reason to trust you and to them, you must be seeming like someone who was looking to jeopardise their deal. “If you really want us to take you seriously, you would have to start giving us more.”

“I cannot give you more if I don’t know what you will do with the information,” you told him, sighing deeply. “Forget it, just… can you please let me know what you will be gaining and what you will be losing after your meeting with Secretary Park?”

“You’re assuming we will lose something,” Seonghwa noted. You didn’t answer and Seonghwa scanned your face, almost detecting fear in your eyes. Just what were you so scared of? “Is there any way you can trust me and tell me what this is about?”

“Not so soon, no, sorry,” you smiled sadly. You wanted to trust that man, you wanted to trust someone, anyone. “I don’t know what I’m waiting for, if I have to be honest. I’m probably asking too much considering that I am a mere bookkeeper.”

“We may have ranks here but we’re all equal, in the end,” Seonghwa said and his words tugged at your heart. There was rarely anyone who didn’t bring rank into everything. “I know you have no reasons to trust us either. Let’s work through our differences first before we make such demands, alright?”

You smiled at him and got up to leave. He followed, locking the doors and you both exited the building together. You shivered when the chilly night wind hit you. 

“The weather is getting colder. Bring a jacket or a scarf next time, will you?” Seonghwa said and you nodded. “Goodnight, Luna. I hope we are able to overcome all that is keeping us from mutual trust.”

“Goodnight, Mr. Park. Thank you for taking my words into consideration.”

He nodded, patting your back affectionately before you separated ways. That night, when you went home, you found Wendy getting ready to go to sleep. You didn’t get much of a chance to talk to her the whole week, considering your conflicting schedules, but you needed some answers right now so you sat at her bedside and she groaned in defeat.

“You need to tell me every detail, every rumour you’ve heard or any information you have on Ateez and what they do. Now.”

It was quite the busy day at the Crescent Office today. 

During the midday slot, you were packed with the new reports you had to make regarding the recent trade dealings with Mist Island, and you also needed to compile a transaction history before the Crescents were going to finalise their new deal with Utopia– both dealings happening undercover. You realised just how much work this job was– you had to create a pretty seamless legal report that was going to be used officially and make it seem like all their money was being circulated in their manufacturing business or the liquor business.

Seonghwa and San arrived when your shift was about to end. San waved at you, promising to catch up later and Eunha looked at you with a scandalous smile.

“Do you know the Choi San?”

“I literally worked at the Crescent Bar, Eunha,” you laughed. “I had to work with him.”

“He’s never waved at me like that. I’ve been here for a decade,” Eunha pouted. 

“Maybe you need to work as a cashier at the Crescent Bar in order to earn that privilege,” you told her, though you felt a bit pleased to hear that San had formal relations with the staff here.

Why were you pleased to hear that? You wondered but not long enough to make sense of it, soon getting caught up in more work. 

You went home after your midday shift, hoping to get some rest before your night shift because you knew it was going to be packed. You had no idea when the boss was supposed to come to office but you just hoped you would go unnoticed today– you had far too many thoughts that needed some sorting from everything Wendy told you last night– another reason you wanted to get some rest because her words kept you awake for the most part of the night. 

You made sure to dress properly today though, in any case. The weather was starting to get a bit chilly– summers were usually chilly in Eden. You wore a grey plaid suit that you kept for days like these, when you needed to make a good impression. You had fond memories with the two-piece– it was the first gift Wendy got you and it was more than she should have done, but she insisted she earned enough to buy gifts like these for the few friends she had. That made you wonder why she lived in a lousy shared apartment. You knew that her actual residence was in Sector 8 and she sometimes joked about how she lived here because it was ‘convenient’.

You wore white net gloves over your hands before going out, donning a matching grey hat. Eunha noted the new additions to your outfit and whistled as she shut her registers, groaning in satisfaction when she stretched her back.

“You did right with the gloves, but it’s a shame the boss isn’t here to appreciate them.”

“Eunha,” you glared at her and she giggled. She had warmed up to you– a bit too much, if you had to say, because she made jokes and teasing remarks like these often now that she was comfortable with you. You took off the gloves and spread them on your desk, grinning at her.

“I think they look pretty good from here too.”

You both shared a grin at that and Eunha wore her overcoat, saluting mockingly before leaving. Just before she was about to go downstairs, she turned in your direction, her doe eyes gleaming.  “Luna!”

“What now?”

“If you see the boss… don’t take his words to heart,” she said. “He may sound like a complete arse but he cares for all of us.”

“It can’t be any worse than Jihoon, can it?” You joked.

Eunha was right, though. At around 10 pm, you finally heard a few sets of footsteps ascend up the stairs and you took a deep breath, fixing your gaze on the stairs. To get to his office, the boss would have to walk past you so you fixed your half tied hair and arranged your desk a bit. Yunho’s head was the first to pop up, followed by an unfamiliar man and Seonghwa. They went inside Yunho’s room first, absorbed in heated discussion and you took a deep breath.

It was clear as day who Kim Hongjoong was. If it was not his appearance that betrayed him– dressed in a luxurious three-piece suit with the chain of a golden pocket watch visible, dark brown curls falling stylishly over his forehead– it was his unmistakable aura, the way he carried himself and his confidence. You felt it even if what you got was only a glimpse. 

A few minutes later, the trio popped out of Yunho’s room to go into Hongjoong’s room. You continued scribbling this time. You were going to remain in the shadows and go unnoticed–

“Get me the tax files,” the boss said. “I will personally make sure everything is seamless because I cannot have anyone messing it up– ah. Who is this again?”

Seonghwa cleared his throat. “Miss Jeon y/n. The bookkeeper– I thought Yunho told you already?”

Yunho looked guiltily at Seonghwa and you stood up in greeting, meeting the boss’s sharp eyes and internally gasping because oh, good heavens. He was inexplicably gorgeous–

“Good evening, Mr. Kim. If you need the tax files, I can get them for you.”

Hongjoong’s eyes betrayed him for just a second as he scanned your form, finding something oddly familiar about you. But his steel expressions returned and he shrugged lightly. “Yeah, well. I’ll have Yunho deal with that. You can get back to work.”

With that, he went towards his office and only waited a moment for the others to follow before he shut the door.

What a snob, you thought. His new bookkeeper and he didn’t even acknowledge you. Had Seonghwa and Yunho really not told him about you, or was he above these meagre details? You were aware that you would have to work with the boss now that he was back, but… how? 

Later, you found yourself at the Crescent Bar instead of your room. Perhaps, here you could get something that would make the bitter aftertaste in your mouth after tonight’s shift seem like nothing. Eunbi’s shift was over so you just found an empty spot in the corner and instructed one of your old colleagues to get you some Black Shadow and to make sure no one would bother you. He gave you a thumbs-up and a few minutes later, you were sipping at the rich drink while recalling the events of today.

Kim Hongjoong. Ateez’s boss, the brains behind the entity of the Crescent Company. A force to be reckoned with. A trickster, a manipulator, a true businessman, you had heard a while ago from the mouth of the elites who came here to drink. A man of his principles, Wendy had told you last night. He was rigid with his principles and that was what got him so far. You supposed he had to be all of that in order to survive after coming back from the war. 

Wendy said she wasn’t worried that you were working with him– at some point in this small sector, everyone had or would encounter him at least once in his life, directly or indirectly. However, she was worried that you would catch his eye, because according to her, you did not want to be involved with him personally in any way. He was a calculating and ruthless businessman with an ambition, and according to Wendy, that was something you were better off staying away from.

You considered everything you knew about the Crescent Company now that it had been a week working with them. They had partnered with Pledis Manufacturers to produce machine parts but you now knew that it was an undercover business for their weapons assembling. They had recently signed a new deal with Utopia to export these weapons in exchange for the Utopian wine– Black Shadow–  which was a trademark of the Crescent Bar. 

And it was Mist Island that provided the Crescents with the bullets and some metal for weapons production in exchange for Eden wine. It truly was a well-thought out business.

But that could not be all. You still did not know what the small packet– the powdery thing that got you here– was. Was it just a drug they used for pleasure purposes? You had never seen them in such a state, nor did the Crescent Bar tolerate druggies, though deals happened there, just like at any other bar. Nobody seemed to talk about it, there was no record of such an object being traded or produced– so what was it? Why had they almost killed you when they learned that you saw it?

And if it was a drug, why did they need to make a business deal with Secretary Park Byung Eun and have him fund MX Pharmaceuticals, of which they owned shares of? Kihyun knew that Secretary Park was not a man you should involve yourself with, so was he not aware of this new venture or was he turning a blind eye to it because they needed Secretary Park? Why would they need him of all the people in this world? 

“If you glare at your glass any longer, it will shatter,” a familiar voice said and you looked up, mouth parting in surprise.

“San!” You got up, straightening your clothes. “What are you doing here?”

“Uh, I literally own this bar?” San chuckled, noticing the almost empty bottle. 

“I mean, here here,” you pointed at your table. “I was just… drinking, as you can already see.”

“Long day?”

“Kind of,” you nodded. 

“Can I join you then? I’ve had a long day too.”

“Sure,” you said and he settled down in front of you, tossing his jacket on the other chair, now in a half sleeve black shirt. You poured the drink for him and he swirled it a few times before downing it in one gulp. You filled his glass again and motioned one of the waiters to get you a new one. 

It felt a little strange to have him seated like this in front of you. Sure, you had shared drinks countless times, but that was when you worked here and were serving him. There was also a shift in your interactions ever since that fateful night at the bar– somehow, that had turned your conversations more casual. He caught you staring at him but he didn’t comment on it.

“I’m assuming you met Hongjoong?” San asked and you exhaled, making him snicker. “What?”

“He’s… definitely the boss,” you laughed shortly. “He scanned me once and was like, okay, time to move on.”

“That’s him,” San laughed. “But that little scan he does means that he has memorised who you are and won’t forget. He’s got quite the memory.”

“I would expect nothing less, but San,” you sighed. “I miss being here. Even though I acted all professional here for the sake of formalities, it wasn’t ever suffocating being here.”

San frowned at your admission. “Do you not like where you are now?”

“It’s not that,” you shook your head. “I like the new job. It’s testing my capabilities, and I like challenges. It’s just that… you aren’t there. Yeosang isn’t there. You both are Crescents too. You both are also Ateez, so… how are you two so different from the rest?”

A smile creeped up on San’s lips and your heart did a little somersault– you hadn’t forgotten how handsome he was, but it had certainly been a while since you admired his charms. “Just say you miss us and move on, Luna.”

You laughed at that and San joined, the two of you chuckling for a few moments. “Yeah, I kind of miss being here and reporting all the gossip to you,” you said. “I miss working in silence with Yeosang too– don’t tell him I said that. It’ll get to his head.”

“I won’t,” he grinned. “Shall I tell you the gossip?”

“Oh, please, I’ve been starving,” you said.

About an hour passed over gossip and drinks, switching from wine to plain soda. San told you the latest happenings of the area– they had a little fight with Chan’s gang and had settled the matter about the attack on the Crescent Bar, making them pay for the damages. Yuju had gone to different bars to do a survey of what was trendy and come up with nothing, and you joked about how she was only good at doing what she knew– managing the staff, something she was an expert at. San said he would be sending Jeonghan and Mingyu next– perhaps, they would come up with a better report. 

It was the first time you talked to San as a friend, and though you had always found it quite easy to talk to him, you liked that just like Yeosang, he didn’t make it feel like there was a distinction between you two. Perhaps, you wondered, it was because of the nature of your work- after all, you couldn’t be too formal in a place like a bar. Maybe if there was no Crescent Bar, you really would have found San intimidating and unapproachable, just like people claimed he was. You still couldn’t believe them– not when he had the softest gaze when he paid attention to you, not when his eyes curved into moons when he smiled or laughed, and certainly not when he whined like just another adult with problems. 

When you checked the time on your wristwatch, you whistled– it was almost 2 in the morning. “Well. Time flies.”

“The night is still young, but we’ve both got to get up early, don’t we?”

“We sure do,” you nodded. “Well, this has been… a pleasure, San.”

“Likewise,” he propped his chin on his hand as he looked at you. “We should do this again.”

“Complaining about work?” You laughed. “Complaining about my bosses slash your friends?”

“Oh, so when you do it, it’s complaining, but when I do it, it’s whining? Noted,” San shook his head in disappointment and you grinned. “Can I tell you something, Luna?”

“Sure.”

“The hyungs– Yunho, Seonghwa and Hongjoong… they’re just like me and Yeosang. You just don’t know them yet.”

You looked at him for a moment. “I would have believed you if you had not included Seonghwa in that list.”

“Why?”

“You’re nothing like Seonghwa,” you joked. “He’s far too kind and refined.”

San’s loud laughter filled the room and you looked around, making sure no one was being disturbed. You leaned forward to tap his hand and make him stop laughing.

“I’m not lying, Luna,” San wiped his eyes. “Seonghwa… he may look refined but he can be very playful and childish when he wants to be. Yunho… well, once he warms up, you’ll know that he is the best kind of person you can have by your side.”

Somehow, his words wrapped around your heart like a promise. “You care about them a lot, huh?”

“I do,” he nodded. “They’re my friends, a part of my heart. I would do anything for them.”

“And… Hongjoong?”

“Hongjoong, well…” San smiled. “You find that out for yourself.”

“Not helping, San,” you folded your arms but he shook his head.

“All I can tell you is that if you’re lucky enough to break his walls… if he takes you under his wing, he won’t let anything hurt you. That’s the kind of person he is. He is the boss but he acts like a shield for us, and I wish I could do the same for him.”

You took note of his words. Did you trust San? A bit, yes. If he said all those things about Hongjoong, they must be true– at least according to his perception. But could you trust Hongjoong? Could you act as a shield for them so they could protect you in the future?

You made the decision before you slept that night. 

During your night shift the next day, you waited for the office to get a bit emptier. When there was only Seonghwa and Hongjoong on the upper level, you took a leap of faith and knocked on the boss’s door. It was now or never, and you had to make your move.

“Come in,” Seonghwa’s voice sounded and you opened the door. Seonghwa was seated at the couch while Hongjoong was at the end of the room in his chair, scribbling on paper, not bothering to look at you.

“Can I talk to you for a moment?” You asked Seonghwa.

“Sure, have a seat,” he motioned to the couch in front of him and you did, sliding the report to him and glancing at Hongjoong once. “Is everything alright?”

“It is, but… I must warn you of something. You cannot proceed with the deal you’re making with Secretary Park Byung Eun.”

Seonghwa settled the pen he had been playing with on the table, taking a deep breath. “What is this really about?”

“Secretary Park is aiming to become the Minister of Health, isn’t that right? All of the ex-president’s team has either retired or left their posts, replaced by President Lee’s people,” you said. “Is that why you need Secretary Park? Because you have no other option?”

Seonghwa narrowed his eyes– how did you find out that he was aiming to become the next Minister of Health? It wasn’t publicly announced yet– he had yet to sign up as a candidate for that post. 

“You must have one hell of a source,” Seonghwa looked amused, glancing at Hongjoong who was smoking a cigar and now looking at you with mild interest. You gathered your nerves before continuing.

“He is not a good candidate for the position, but that is not what matters right now. I would have gone to Kihyun but I decided to confirm with you first because I’m not sure if he’s aware of your plans, but… you must need Secretary Park to approve some drug in the future, right?”

Seonghwa’s brow rose ever so slightly and you jumped a little when Hongjoong slammed the pen that he had been holding on the table. He cocked his head as he glared at you. 

“Miss Jeon,” he said in a warning tone. “If you don’t stop talking in circles right now and tell us what this is about, I’ll have to deal with you myself. You don’t want that.”

You gritted your teeth, unafraid for the first time in a while. “Do you want this business deal with Secretary Park to be legal? Just answer my question first, Mr. Kim.”

“That’s right,” Seonghwa answered for him. 

“You should know that Secretary Park already has some business deals with Strictland officials going on,” you said in a low tone and the two looked at each other in surprise, clearly unaware. “You know how it will look for you if word comes out– Strictland is already an occupied state on the verge of military dictatorship. You can try to verify it for yourself if you want, but whatever deal Secretary Park has going on with Strictland… it’s not legal in any sense, neither is it moral.”

Seonghwa took a deep breath. “Our meeting with Secretary Park is scheduled for tomorrow.”

“And I thought you should be aware of this before the meeting,” you locked eyes with him, hoping he could see the desperation in them. 

“Jeon y/n, was it?” Hongjoong called and you looked at him. He was squashing his cigar in the ashtray on his desk. You nodded and he finally smiled, though it looked almost devilish. “Why would you care to tell us this information?”

“You must have heard from your underboss,” you said. “I am willing to trade information with you in return for protection.”

“And power,” he pointed out the missing part. “You mentioned power.”

“I only desire power in order to survive in Eden,” you said.

“So why protection?” Hongjoong asked. “You can’t be a powerful figure in Eden and not have everyone targeting you.”

“Being a part of the Crescent Company is protection enough, I suppose,” you rested your hands on the soft material of your black pants, subtly wiping the sweat off. 

“Protection from whom?” Hongjoong asked, his gaze set on you. You found it overwhelming almost to the point that you considered answering– he had a commanding presence. 

“I… can’t say. Not yet,” you said and Seonghwa shook his head, having already known your answer. “I don’t expect you to tell me what the deal is about– after all, I’m only a bookkeeper. But I can give you better options– ex-president Mr. Son, for instance, or Assemblyman Kim Jooheon.”

“Assemblyman Kim is a nobody in the political scene if we are being objective,” Seonghwa said. “I don’t think he will have much to offer to us.”

“He will have something to offer to you if you give him something in return– maybe something that pulls him out of the shadows and into the spotlight of the political scene,” you said, recalling how the politicians in Edenary always thought Assemblyman Kim had the potential but lacked the resources. 

“Why would Mr. Son ever associate himself with us?” Hongjoong got up from his seat, slowly walking towards you, hands in the pocket of his striped black suit. “We may be owners of a legal business company now, but everyone knows of our mafia ties and background.”

“You are an honoured military strategist who played a vital role to end the war, isn’t that true?” 

Hongjoong chuckled at that, nodding slowly to confirm that and settling down next to Seonghwa. “Not everyone is aware of that, Miss Jeon. I don’t like people talking about it.”

“But Mr. Son was the president at that time, and he honoured you with a badge,” you kept his gaze. “I think he will agree that a person who did everything in their power to end the feud between two nations would not be making a deal that would harm his motherland and its people… don’t you agree?”

Hongjoong stared at you while considering your words. “You have a lot of audacity to come in here and make claims about a business you are not a part of, and people you don’t know enough about. Possessing such audacity is what almost cost you your life that night, and what is tempting me to retract the deal my partners made behind my back.”

And there it was. A stark reminder that you may have struck a deal with the queen, but you were still just a pawn in this game of chess where the king ruled. Weak and expendable– that’s what you were.

“Hongjoong,” Seonghwa began but Hongjoong raised his hand in the air to stop him from speaking further, his eyes still locked with yours. You didn’t feel shame nor fear in that moment– just regret that maybe you had trusted the wrong people.

“You are a bookkeeper, and you can remain so. Goodnight, Miss Jeon.”

You nodded slowly, letting his words sink in and then you got up, bowing in greeting. “Good night, Mr. Kim, Mr. Park. Thank you for hearing me out.”

With that, you left the room and Seonghwa looked at Hongjoong. “You did not have to put it like that. I know she got you.”

Hongjoong slumped down on the couch in front of Seonghwa, cracking his knuckles while he thought about his next move. “Is there any way we can verify the information about Secretary Park without anyone getting a whiff?”

“I don’t know,” Seonghwa admitted. “I’m wondering how she knows that– if that was the truth. If Secretary Park really has a business deal with Strictland officials… I don’t think even his wife would know about that. If anyone gets a whiff of that, it could cost him his position and cause President Lee significant harm too, since Park Byung Eun is his secretary. You know how Strictland is still a sensitive topic after the war.”

“Then how does she know?” Hongjoong looked at Seonghwa. “Is she a spy?”

“She can’t be,” Seonghwa shook his head. “Luna worked as the bookkeeper at Crescent Bar for two years–”

“Luna?”

“That’s what everyone calls her,” Seonghwa said, a hint of a smile on his lips.

“She could be a mole, then,” Hongjoong sighed. “But no. Even a mole could not possess this information. What do we do?” 

“Kihyun was Secretary Park’s former business partner. I’ll ask Yunho to check with Kihyun and confirm if Secretary Park is the right man for this deal, but that means we will have to let Kihyun know that we are intending to make such a deal.”

“We were going to tell him anyway, let’s proceed with that plan. And Seonghwa?”

“Yeah?”

“Contact the RV spies and get any information you can on your little bookkeeper.”

-> apply for the taglist here! (check your privacy setting if the tags don't work)

taglist pt 1:

@lorensonebraincell @sungbeam @waywardstaytiny @lluvia1415 @woohwababes @jjaemasung @fruithoughts @fancypeacepersona @propinquitypsithurism @kyomiingi @ateezswonderland @janetsarttrove @thenopekid @justconniez @daniela-f-uwu @hwasbestlover @vcutparis @missbangtangirl @zaynsfl4m3s @beabatiny @slowitdownmakeitb0uncy @alliethequeen @lavishloving @haowonbins @franbowesax @klllerwaifu @katerade23 @selfishw4ltz @paramedicnerd004 @atzlordz @curse-of-art @meowmeeps @intowxnderland @faeriehwa @staytiny-yaps @ishz @dumplingsyum @bunnychui @kandy108 @chanst1ddies @softsanglix @yongility @sang-09 @sweetinsaniiity @a-teez-4-exo @omgsuperstarg @saintriots @bihwabi

[m1ckeyb3rry]

That’s a good idea….will start check marking….. I’m also realizing I think part of the problem was I actually do press send sometimes but if the connection is spotty and I don’t realize I close out tumblr and then it never ends up fully loading/sending properly….

SHSHS I cant imagine that’d be comfortable with the dizziness…well uh..at least it’s over now!! Haha…..

OUUU wait that’s a good take…..it’s kinda funny I think I remember Isagi and Yuta having the same mbti too?? Not sure how accurate the typing actually is but I thought that was funny LOL but IM CRYING LMAOOOO you really said I need some spice in my life let’s switch it up

Honestly I would not be surprised if that ended up being the case like….after every single time we’ve manifested something into existence I’d be more surprised if it didn’t get manifested into reality LMAO

SHEGSHS every now and then I think about how I’m blowing up your inbox but omg another special tag I’m so honored LOL hope the ideas prove useful for when you’re in a slump!!

AHAHAHA atp trying to guess your final wc should just be a game im sure its at least mildly frustrating for you but I can’t lie every time it happens I chuckle a bit especially when you post it with that one ant meme LMFAOOA

Oh em gee very excited!! Whenever that comes out im gonna reread part 1 to refresh first LOL it’s ok we gotta give our man a break from being protag he’s been going through it LMAOAO between getting insulted by the love of his life in fwtkac the whole freaky Friday conflict and now bfb where he’s been pining since he could walk I

Gotta bless the other sectors of the fandom with your work….give them a taste of your writing then they’ll discover your blog read the Karasu fics and join Karasu nation…that’s the end goal LMAO atp you’re just overseeing all of bllknation covering every base

Hsjshsj glad it went well!! Struggle because of motion sickness I assume? Manifesting very hard that that goes away soon…

GAGAMARU AND YUKI LMAOOO ok that’s a pair I was not expecting ngl it’s ok it’s the power duo one blind one and one with super vision /j actually I feel like that’d be really funny like…since yuki is also a model he has such a refined vibe and as we know is very well mannered while gagamaru spends a lot of the time in the woods in the wilderness fighting bears or something LOL such opposite vibes

Yeah…like I get the shock factor thing but tbh to me that still doesn’t “justify it” to me LOL like it was just so sudden?? And there’s still so many holes like how’d she suddenly just appear good as new minus the one eye…no I fully agree like it was so random, not lead up not even a hint from the past what like 30 chapters?? Like they really just decided to throw her back into the ring at the last second….like we haven’t seen her since Shibuya arc and she somehow just spawned back like make it make sense…..tbh I think the “shock my readers” thing is such a gege thing to do :,) considering all the other comments we’ve heard from him LMAO but yeah the execution was not it……jjk fandom is also scary I see people getting eaten alive for “hot takes”

LMAO safe from kaiserism today…tbh I can’t see myself actually converting BUT the compass >>> the whole animal shelter dog scene was Lowk so cute I love the use of the dog’s own background in paralleling kaiser’s own situation! But that line “she’s my mother but I’m not her son” LITERARY GENIUS but also I’m crying when they talk about marriage and a wedding I’m fr just imagining ness just standing there alone on kaisers side something about the scene just seems so funny to me

- Karasu anon

tumblr is so glitchy sometimes i can’t even blame you 😔 the amount of times i’ve thought i posted something and didn’t or someone will send an ask and i just won’t get a notification for it??? same with dms and then people think i’m ignoring them but that’s not my intention at all 😭💔

yess they do have the same mbti!! and so does hiori apparently 🤔 tbh i tend to like characters who are sassier because they’re more like me so they’re easier to write/connect with (asshole karasu 🤝 asshole mira) but realistically in a relationship you can only rlly have one person like that the other needs to be nice or else it’s just stressful 😭 irl whenever i meet people who match my freak toooo well i get annoyed because like why are we only being mean to each other but when people start to get too moral abt it it’s like “oh it was never that deep” LMAOAAO there needs to be a happy medium of someone who finds it funny and can throw a jab or two out there when necessary but for the most part they’re just chilling 😩 which lowkey IS isagi (and hiori) now that i think abt it but NOOOO if i convert to isagism what will become of me

HFJDJSSJ okay random kiyora headcanons speedrun (kaneshiro if you’re watching these are fire pls include them in the manga): he ran cross country for one year during the soccer off season and he liked it because he could listen to music during races but it wasn’t competitive enough for him so he quit, he’s lowkey fire at either knitting or crochet but no one knows (he’s not shy abt it though it��s just that no one talks to him for long enough to realize), and he got a pet umbrella cockatoo after watching the movie rio in theaters

NO I LOVE GETTING THE NOTIFICATION YOU SENT AN ASK it’s so fun to read them 🥹 and PLSS honestly it’s less frustrating and more just like 😨 whenever the word count gets crazy long because for the most part i’m just happy to be providing 😩 the only thing that worries me is when i take too long writing smth rlly long and people think i’m on hiatus 😭 like no i’m still here it’s just that this one shot is now novel length so…

okay wait genuinely multiple people have been converted to karasu nation because of me LMAOAOA especially bfb and fwtkac…honestly it’s a role i’m proud to play 🤩🙏🏻 but yes atm i need to expand my outreach/not make karasu suffer any longer he’s been through it in the miraverse as of late 😟 i’m excited for cherry tree pt2 i think it’s probably going to be shorter but very cute 🥹 which yk cute and rin don’t necessarily go together very naturally given how he is but trust i will make it work 🤩

HEAR ME OUT GAGAMARU AND YUKI / TARZAN AND JANE AU LMAOOOOO no it’s so perfect hold on i’m going to edit a screen cap of it once i’ve responded to this why does it fit uncannily well…i’ve convinced myself gagamaru and yuki besties number one bllk duo forget bachisagi or kunigiri or nagireo or tabieita or whatever 🥱 gagayuki the ONLY pair i care about (and karasu + shidou they’re cool too)

i completely agree although i’ve already seen people on all corners of the internet calling people who are dissatisfied with it brain dead or without reading comprehension/media literacy…that’s just how it’s going to be ig 😓 jjk to me has this problem where it’s simultaneously overhated AND overrated 🤔 because people do not realize there is a middle ground!! like no it’s not the worst manga ever and there are several high points + on the whole it is better written than several other animangas especially shounen ones however it is NOT peak fiction and it is definitely not the best thing to come out in recent times!! like people don’t realize you can criticize it and still not bash it/gege completely 😒 also i have to say it…a manga being popular ≠ good idk WHY that’s such a popular argument but things can be popular without being well written!! look at any number of ya dystopian novels from the 2010s for proof 😭 nobody’s denying that jjk is popular it’s just that that doesn’t automatically make it the best thing ever…i saw someone on tik tok say that a lot of jjk fans confuse hype moments/panels with good writing and i do think that that’s the case at times 🫣 but what do i know lol

tbh smth abt kaiser’s fuck ass haircut turns me off rlly bad like maybe if he still had the shaggy blond going on or if he put it in a bun more often i’d see the appeal but the rat tails are not it 😰 and LMAOAOAO PLSSS kaiser’s side at the wedding is just ness and noel noa (he was paid to be there) and both of them are just like 😐😐 the whole time HAHAHA they are not into it at all…maybe kaiser was onto smth when he said that they should just get married without any guests because imagine how awk it would be otherwise 😭

[love-fireflysong]

OH DEAR HI I'm the anon from before HII!!

Thank you so much for reading my message, it literally made my day!!

First of all NOO THE SUITCASE?? I hope you get it back soon, that sucks 😭

For the Outlast AU, girl I read the newest chapter the second it came out, and oh boy was I screeching LMAO

I was actually kinda worried since it had been a while since the last fic and I was worried you had paused writing, but then it was THERE, and it was ASHLEY POV AGAIN AUGH (Ash is my favorite UD character LMAO)

So thoughts, where do I even begin???? I'm gonna add some of my favorite lines that I just love a lot LOL

''All because it was actually his voice. It wasn't an electronic facsimile screaming and sobbing desperately through a bluetooth earbud, and it certainly wasn't her own voice weaving his actual words through the folds of her brain during the private late night conversations the three of them hadn't been able to enjoy for almost three weeks now. It was him''

Girl I am crying already O[-[

It's so heartbreaking reading about their separation and now that it's so close for them I just wanna SCREAM

''All of which she knew because Ashley had been the one to turn that once alive inmate into a bloody, mangled corpse herself. All for the crime of them simply being the last thing that stood between her and the door that kept her from Chris and Josh.

''Ash can murder a little bit, as a treat /J

GO GIRL GO GET YOUR BOYS.

''Has her name always sounded like this? Like it had been created solely to be spoken in his voice, said like it was something holy—like she was holy?''

God I keep coming back to this line, it's just. Perfection. It's so darn good.

''Forcing himself to push off of the wall and continue his hurried stumble down the stairs, steadfastly ignoring the bright, sticky handprints that he had left in his wake. (Though really, Ashley can't help but think, what is one more mark of blood in a place that is already saturated in it.)

''I just really like this line, it's chilling!

"Okay, I gotta get this off my chest, but whoever the hell it was that suggested the couple's retreat to the insane asylum is officially being kicked out of the polycule."

SJSHSJK what would we do without our Chrissy 😭 Always gotta lighten the mood!

Also just the entire last paragraph... girl my heart is on the floor, it is in pieces, I am crying

Their reunion was just so heartwarming and with every second it took for them to see each other, I just kept waiting for the rug to be swept out from my under feet and for the angst to kick in, but NOT THIS TIME!! THEY'RE TOGETHER!!

God the way they just look at each other, taking in how much (or how little) they've changed O[-[

I don't know if half of this makes sense, I'm just rambling LMAOO

Seriously though, you deserve only the highest praise, I genuinely loved this fic, and I am eagerly waiting to inhale the next parts!!!!!

There's so much more I want to share, buy AUGH WORDS

Also writing Chrissy like that reminded me of a dream I had once I first discovered the Fandom. I think it was a text post that was like ''If Chris kissed Ashley, could he say he Chrissed her?'' and I got so mad about it I woke up LMAOOO

AAAAAHHHHHHH IM SO GLAD THAT YOU ENJOYED IT!!!!!!

(I will say though that the fact that this is another Ashley POV addition is just chance, once I actually stop working on these """"snippets"""" the plan is that the viewpoints will switch between the three of them so I hope that this doesn't deter you any on future stories for this universe askdaksldsaj)

You would not believe how much fun I had writing literally any of the parts where they were all basically close enough to touch but still so far apart that anything could happen to prevent the reunions. Pining in a completely different sense of the word there: a nice fun, obsessive, desperate pining where they're willing to do whatever and kill whoever it takes as long as they're back together. They can ALL do some murder, as a treat <3 They deserve that much I think lmao

And man, that whole name scene? From the very beginning I knew that Chris was gonna (unintentionally) distract her with her name until she couldn't take it anymore and finally interrupt him. But that whole 'holy' line? Yeah that one came out of left field for even me alskdjlaksjd Vividly remembering writing that bit and going 'oh shit, that's fucking good I am so good at this shit'... before immediately tearing out my hair for the next and calling myself a fraud probably not even thirty seconds later SDFKLJSDFJ

And that whole 'kicked out of the polycule' line? That was the one single line I had had planned out since I started writing this one like two years ago. And yet, the line had originally been a JOSH line. Delivered flatly and sarcastically and all. But when I finally got to writing that last scene in question, I started second guessing myself and wondered if it was a Chris line instead. In the end, the only reason I went with the Chris-delivery though was simply because I liked how bittersweet it would be if the line was met with not a short and tired snort, but the first time any of them had a chance for some genuine full-bodied laughter before the tears finally came on once the reality hit.

(Also, if do end up doing something with the whole "If Chris kissed Ashley, could he say he Chrissed her?" dream line than you have only yourself to blame. Gonna make you rage quit in the beginning of a fic if your not careful ;P)