#lmao i said i would post this and immediately went on a trip

[mostlyonthefloor]

Autistic Edvin: here it is, folks.

He's so quiet because he doesn't know what (is appropriate) to say a lot of the time and he learned very young that it's better to say nothing than to say something that one of the bigger boys will think is "smart" and get hit for it

He's also quiet because it takes a lot of concentration for him to tell what's happening with body language and social cues. Constantly monitoring how people are standing, where they are looking, their facial expressions and what they mean, is energy-consuming.

He mimics characteristics of the people around him. This is why he is so inconspicuous and forgettable, because he will see what other people are doing/saying and copy that, so he blends into a group. Body language is a conscious choice for him, and like above, it's easiest to just not be noticed.

(He also accidentally mimics accents, he will occasionally spend time with Lydia and pick up a little Limmatan accent)

Sometimes people's characteristics stick if he spends enough time with them. For example, he says "what" with identical inflection to the twins, and it messes Hal around when he's not looking. (His repertoire of weary sighs are entirely his own)

He likes to knit because it's so rhythmic, and he deliberately chooses needles that make little clicks because he loves the sound.

When he joins the Herons he's pleasantly taken aback to see that no one will care if he says something a little strange or fails to pick up on a social cue that everyone else does. He's hardly the strangest person there anyway.

He probably couldn't say something weirder than anything the twins could come up with if he tried, and people tend to say things out loud for Ingvar's benefit as he can't see people's body language well, so Edvin also won't miss out on silent cues

He and Lydia become good friends quite quickly because they bond over their shared inability to know what to do in social situations (autistic Lydia as well?? who knows)

He is prone to assuming that things that he experiences are universal, and is astonished to find that non-verbal social cues are intuitive to most people, and that in fact most people "just know" if something is acceptable to say or not

On that note he is absolutely shook to discover that sexual/romantic attraction is inadvertent and just happens to people (aro-ace Edvin supremacy)

He takes his job as quartermaster very seriously god bless and will occasionally hijack a conversation to talk about needing rations or what town to put into

He has accidentally walked into and directly through several Stigal moments in compromising positions. It wasn't until afterwards when he was doing his Lie In Bed And Think About Today Time that he realised what happened

This isn't relevant but he's #1 stigal shipper

[dumbseee]

insecurity.

f1 au/fic: in which, lando and y/n have been dating for a few months, but fans are still talking about y/n’s past relationship. making lando feel insecure and questioning y/n’s feelings for him.

lando norris x singer!reader

(fc: jess alexander)

note: english isn’t my first language so excuse me for the mistakes this might have xx ALSO it’s the first time that i’m actually writing something so i hope it’s not too bad lmao. thank you for reading my aus btw <3

liked by landonorris, maxfewtrell, danielricciardo and 2 799 009 others.

y/n: happy birthday to my sun, you’re such a beautiful soul, i’m so proud to call you mine. i love you to the moon and back and promise to always love you.

_

landonorris: i love you more baby

danielricciardo: we’re at practice and he’s crying btw

fan1: they’re so absjdkdoldel

fan2: mama y papa

fan3: he always smile so brightly when he’s looking at her :(

fan4: i’m sorry but i can’t help but think about y/n’s ex… on the same day last year she was posting pictures of him

fan5: @.fan4 don’t do that… it’s about lando, not her ex

fan6: am i tripping or she also used to call her ex, her « sun »??

fan7: @.fan6 WHAT

fan8: @.fan6 no she didn’t?

_

lando sighed and threw his phone on his bed. of course he saw all the tweets about you and your stupid ex, how could he ignore them when it was all over the internet. people were speculating about if he was a rebound or a toy for you. lando was hurt, he always thought that you were way out of his league anyways so he should’ve seen it coming, right? you were an amazing and worldwide known singer, with your angelic voice and heartbreaking lyrics. you sang with your heart which made anyone who was listening to you, fall in love immediately.

that’s what happened with lando. he was always a big fan of yours, singing your songs on top of his lungs at parties, and following every single news about you, he even went to your concerts. one day, he went viral for singing your song on the radio with his engineer, he also happened to have made it to p3, which he said was because you were his lucky charm. the video was published online and went viral, you saw it and immediately found it adorable. the rest was history.

when you guys hard launched your relationship to the world, the big majority was happy for you two, happy to see you smile and happy to see that lando managed to get his crush. but a small minority saw that relationship as a rebound for you, saying horrible things about how you never loved lando and how you would dump him in a few months to go back to your one true love, your ex.

lando saw it all. and he hated it.

"lando? are you okay?" you asked, when you went to check in on him. he was supposed to bring a few blankets so you guys could watch a movie together. but he was taking way too much time so you went to see if he was okay.

"do you love me y/n?" he asked you, and the sadness in his eyes almost made you cry. lando’s eyes was what you loved the most about him, with his smile of course, but his gorgeous green eyes were full of emotions, you could drown in them and feel every little thing he was feeling just by looking at him.

"what are you talking about? of course i love you lando." you say, taking his hand in yours and softly kissing his knuckles. you saw him close his eyes and sigh deeply. you pushed him on the bed and sat next to him. "what happened?"

"it’s stupid, don’t worry about it." he finally looked up at you and faked a smile but it didn’t fool you.

"lando. tell me." you were still holding his hand and with your free hand you started to caress his cheek. he closed his eyes again and melted against your touch.

"your fans are still talking about your past relationship and how i’m nothing but a rebound to you." he said it in such a low tone you almost didn’t hear him. but sadly you heard his words and you could feel your heart shatter at how your fans words affected him. "i know that you guys stayed together for a while, and i know that you wrote good songs about him, i listened to them all, but… if you still love him you can-…"

"lando norris." you said in a serious tone, which startled him. "how am i supposed to love anyone else when you stole my heart and refuse to give it back?" his eyes lit up a little by your words. "and i literally wrote 56 songs about how much i love you so you better listen to them all once again and never doubt my feelings for you ever again, boy."

liked by landonorris, carlossainz55, charlottesiine and 6 808 009 others.

y/n: ‘you are in love’ is officially out ;) little gift from me to you sweet lan <3

_

maxfewtrell: lando listened to it and locked himself in the bathroom to cry

landonorris: @.maxfewtrell FAKE NEWS

danielricciardo: i wish someone would write 57 songs about me…

heidiberger_: @.danielricciardo excuse me? (great song btw y/n!)

liked by y/n.

fan1: ZKSKSLXPODOSOZ

fan2: y/n making haters eat their words with one song: queen behaviour

fan3: i hope haters will stop hating on lando now how can you say that y/n is using him as a rebound

fan4: CALL 911 IM ON THE VERGE OF DEATH

fan5: y/n writing a love song for lando on his birthday :(

fan6: i love them so much pls

fan7: that whole drama about her ex was so dumb, they broke up for a reason and y/n also wrote songs about how awful he was to her towards the end of their relationship, why do you guys want her to go back to that dog?

liked by y/n.

[sweetkpopmusings]

mingyu best friend headcanons <3

a/n: posting his bestie headcanons next as requested !! mingyu is my babygirl and whenever i think about him i just want to gently hold him and give him a lil kiss on the forehead <3 he is absolutely the best of friends to the people he loves :,-) what a precious boy ! pics not mine~

content: fluff | wc: 0.8k | warnings: none! | pairing: bestfriend!mingyu x gn!reader | requests: open

mingyu’s the kind of friend you can’t remember your life without

not only because he has become so embedded into your support system, but also because you immediately went from not knowing each other to being the best of friends

your first impression was “how does this man look like a greek god” and, after having a brief conversation with him, you realized “this is my golden retriever and i will protect him at all costs”

mingyu is the silliest, most precious, dorkiest, loving guy

obviously you can’t be around him without him breaking something and/or endangering his life

so you watch out for when he drops things, runs into things, trips over himself, etc

for his birthday, you bought him a first aid kit that you decorated so it matched his style

it’s 100% his favorite thing in the world, so naturally, he has to have someone else carry it for him whenever he leaves his place so it doesn’t get lost <3333 

he refuses to use supplies from any other first aid kit because “it would be disrespectful to y/n” :,-)

somehow, when it comes to you being clumsy, he's got cat-like reflexes ???

if you stumble a little bit, his hand automatically balances you before you realize you could've fallen

whenever your phone slips out of your hand, he catches it and then laughs at you for having butterfingers 

if seventeen sees this happen they will be completely dumbfounded because how is MINGYU not the klutz in this situation

you assure them he is still the clumsiest person alive and recount, in detail, how he bumped his head on a wall while laughing, dropped his phone while holding his head, and spilled his drink while reaching for his phone...all within 45 seconds

cut to the members crying from laughter and mingyu whining because “y/n is exaggerating!!!!!!!” 

like this is just a classic situation of mingyu trying to roast you but ending up roasting himself lmao

laughing with mingyu is the best thing in the entire world !!!

sometimes you two just make eye contact and he starts giggling which makes you laugh which makes him laugh harder which turns into both of you silently cracking up with tears streaming down your faces

and the rest of the people hanging out with you are like ???? neither of you said a single word ??? nothing funny happened ??? are you two okay ???

the answer to that is no we’re clearly losing our minds but also yeah we’re totally fine LOL

he loves to annoy you

very big fan of the whole “i’m not touching you” bit while pointing his finger alarmingly close to you

if you try to ignore him, he’s going to do everything in his power to get you to notice him

he’s sighing, clearing his throat, calling your name, exclaiming “OH MY GOD WHAT WAS THAT?!” just to get you to turn your head

every time, it ends one of two ways

you turn your head and he smiles victoriously, no longer annoying you because he got your attention and can now talk your ear off about whatever silly thought was in his head

OR

you ignore him for so long his finger/arm starts cramping and he whines about being in pain and won’t stop whining until you acknowledge his pain 

even if you just say “gyu, put your arm down so the cramping stops”

he’s over! the! moon! because “awwwwwww so you DO care about me???” 

mingyu’s such a big baby but he's YOUR big baby i love him so much 

despite his puppy-like nature, he is also your #1 protector

if anyone hurts your feelings, he is on attack dog mode as soon as all of your tears have been wiped <33

he will NOT let ANYONE make fun of you. like you’re HIS bestie and only HE can do that >:-(

one time hoshi took an impression of you a little too far and BOY did mingyu give him an earful

poor hoshi was apologizing to you for WEEKS after

mingyu would’ve had hoshi doing your laundry for months as reparations but you promised him it actually wasn’t even that bad like you just didn’t like how hoshi imitated your voice but according to mingyu “it’s the principle of it all >:-(“

he will do anything and everything in his power to reduce your stress and take care of you when you’re feeling less than your best <333

low on energy? mingyu’s coming over to clean your place for you!

have a massive to-do list before you go on a trip? mingyu has divided the tasks between you two so you can finish everything in enough time to get some rest before you leave!

truly he’ll put everything aside to make sure you’re okay :-(((

overall, mingyu is the most dependable, heartfelt, and hilarious best friend to have :,,,,-) 

if you tell him this, it will feed his ego and he will bring it up constantly LOL 

don’t worry though–he tells you all the time how you are a rock for him and that he loves you so so much and that his life has become a million, billion, trillion times better since you entered it <3

he’s just so endearing please give me a mingyu to protect and be protected by PLEASE!!!

[stormblessed95]

Watching Are You Sure?! EP 1

A reminder of how I do these reaction posts as I watch things. I just write my reactions and thoughts down literally as a happen. Think more of a bullet point format. I'll include links when I can to videos, thanks to the people who twt who upload clips. And at the end, I'll do a better wrap up of all my opinions. I hope everyone enjoyed the show so far!!

The episode starts with Jimin showing up right before JKs GMA performance and interview, July 14th 2023.

Them meeting up and talking about how he has his performance in NY on GMA later. Jimin saying that he hadn't seen him in a while, their schedules kept them SO BUSY 😭😭 this trip was so good for them. And the way he caressed JKs throat and told him to rest his voice and take care of it since it had been hurting. 🥺 So many soft touches too as soon as they were able to see each other again. And we didn't even get to see their actual reunion.

JK packing up his hotel room and talking about how he never traveled so freely before. They are so sweet and so busy and I'm so glad they were able to carve out even just a few weekends for time to themselves. And the way when the staff was talking to them about plans and who would drive etc, JK said he would drive and was just sitting there talking about traffic while they were holding hands interlocked resting in Jimins lap 😭 that's so??!!

Then fighting over the AC in the car in efforts to take care of the other is so cute. Jimin wanting to make sure JKs throat stayed okay, JK not wanting Jimin to get sick. They baby the heck out of each other. And Jimin watching his GMA performance on his phone 🥰 JKs cute smile while Jimin was jamming out to his music 🥺

"JungJi" new ship name alert?! Lmao!

JK ordering for the table 💜

The absolute bickering over who is a bad driver/bad at parking. The get out. Lmao the way they absolutely irritate each other on purpose is amazing and soooo best friends/might as well be married behavior 😂🤣

When they went shopping together and JK said they should buy the same shorts together 😍🥰 matchy matchy always!!

And an ARMY recognized them and saying hello and they were so cutely excited about it. "We've still got it." 😍🥺🥰

JK ordering for them again at the brewery 🥰 and I love that they went to an LGBTQ friendly brewery for one of their first hang out spots. Some ARMYs went and talked to the people working and said they everyone said Jikook were super polite, no one had recognized them and they kept to themselves a bit and just had some phones/go pros for recording.

The way that they also started talking about how this was their trip before military service. And how JK started bonking Jimin over the head with his camera when he mentioned it. Jimin was giggling but you KNOW that they was emotional from it too. This was when they were thinking there was still a chance they would be separated for 2 years. I know they were anxious to get to cherish this time spent together. I know it meant SO much to them both and probably so much to JK that Jimin traveled all this way and made it happen.

The way that JKs kayak tipped over immediately and Jimin just was cackling as he continued to paddle away and the staff were fishing JK out of the lake 🤣🤣🤣 just for JK to furiously row up on him and be like "you have your phone?? Tip over!!" 🤣🤣 They are so funny and cute! And Jimin taking a photo of his baby 💜 the way Jimin spent the whole time on the water just laughing and smiling fondly at everything JK would do. It's so freaking sweet. They just really had so much fun together being silly and goofy.

Not Jimin giving JK the "you come here often?" Pick up line and the immediate roleplay they both get into 😅🤣😂 they really can't go too long without at least a little bit of flirting lol

We know there was a getaway cabin with a 2 bed option but Jikook picked the one with just one bed. Lmfao good for them. Hey BH, we know you have no issues with filming the members while they sleep, even while they share the bed. How come we got zero footage of Jikook sharing the bed? 😂😂

Jimin being like "JK, you are a good cook 🥺" and Jungkook just immediately getting to work on cooking them dinner 🥺💜 although when Jimin asked for a taste, why did JK feed him from his FINGER?! Lmfao and what the hell was the noise he made when Jimin licked his finger 😂🤣 half moan, half laugh? I don't even know lmao

And the way he ran to go feed Jimin a piece of the chicken because he was proud of how his cooking was turning out. Sooo cute. Jimin accidentally dropped a piece of chicken and acted like he committed a great offence 😭😂 the way they spilt dinner duties though was so cutely domestic.

JK speaking directly to the camera to speak to the viewers. Man has done too many hours long live streams. Lmao he is too used to just chatting with ARMYs 🤣😂 that was adorable and Jimin thought so too. And the way Jimin goes "I miss V" and JK immediately is like "let's call him!" Anything to make Jimin smile! But they clearly cut so much of that convo, BH, give me my members loving each other istg I miss them too much. And don't even get me started on the yoonminkook conversation. I genuinely almost teared up. I miss BTS so much 😭 their laughter is healing

Jimin getting a stomach bug 😭😭 my poor baby. And the screen just going black while Jikook cuddle?? The give us minimal Audio and a black screen and then they cut away entirely and we KNOW they are cuddling. Lmfao TF BH!! We know they cuddle, where is my fanservice?! And JK turned over at some point and elbowed Jimin in the nose. You KNOW they were all up in each other's business on that bed for that to happen 😂😂😂

And my poor Jimmie... He feels so bad 😭😭 JK is taking such sweet care of him though.

JK outside stacking rocks while Jimin rests is giving me Yumi vibes. Lmfao I love him (and her!) SO MUCH! The way he prayed after too for a good trip with Jimin. The rock tower is also (correct me here if needed) a way to pray for someone's health and well-being. My poor sick Jiminie. Yumi also used the rock towers as ways to pray and communicate with her Gods.

Wrap up thoughts?

Not much I haven't already said honestly. Lol but just more emphasis on how special this trip is, both to Jikook themselves and for us to have it shared with us. This IS comfort TV. They bring each other such peace and happiness. They both banter and tease and have such fun. They both baby the heck out of the other. JK taking care of a sick Jimin was soooo nice seeing. The way Jimin wasn't feeling good, but rallied in order to have a good time for their weekend away.

It's also interesting that so much of this is honestly filmed from GoPro. They have some staff and crew there, but from what I've seen it's a smaller number than normally goes to film these shows and they are left alone with just installed cameras fairly often. That's extra nice for them. 💜

I am and forever will be salty about all the cuts. The Tae face time was cut short, the cuddling was cut, so much was cut. Which duh, I get why. But I still want more 😂 looking forward to the behinds to see if we get anything more. That black screen cut from them cuddling though was 👀👀😂😂

JK was such a good leader and took charge so much so far this trip. It was cool to see, Jimin ALSO thought so! The way he was speak for both of them, drove them around, ordered food and drinks for them, gave dinner prep instructions. Gave Jimin his medicine.... I'm not saying it's hyung behavior.... But... Lol also I did notice that there was a pretty even split of address between him calling Jimin hyung, or just by his name. Along with all the little random bits of flirting sprinkled through the episode lol so cute..

Hope you guys enjoyed it!! And thanks for reading all my random thoughts! Onto episode 2!

[cactuslester]

okay!!! oakland show post!

i had so so much funnnn it was the best night ever!!! i went alone and was pretty nervous because even though ive been to shows and concerts alone before, i'd never been to something that had so much "waiting time" like between the m&g and preshow & show, but truly everyone was so so friendly, and it was so easy to meet people and make friends in line, so if anyone is still wondering if they should get a ticket and are worried about going alone, DO IT. it's so worth it, and phannies are lovely <3

so the m&g! this is my first time meeting both of them so i was so nervous and so excited. the line moved faster than i was prepared for it to (sarah was at the front of the line making sure everyone had their cameras ready and knew what they wanted to get signed. i'm so face blind i kept thinking about how familiar she looked but didn't realize that was sarah until it was almost my turn lmaooo), but the actual interaction didn't feel rushed. i gave them the letters i had written for them. i had tried to get metallic green envelopes but couldn't find any, and i told them that, and dan immediately knew what i was talking about and pointed knowingly at phil lmao <3

i brought tabinof and a mini lesbian flag which was between the pages in case they'd have time to sign both and they did! while they were signing i asked my questions. i asked phil for book recs and he said project hail mary, which i think he's mentioned in a preshow before. he said it's space/sci fi and he really liked it. i asked dan his thoughts on this f1 season, and he said "i think it's been quite a good season! it started off and it was like 'max is gonna win everything' and then it was like 'no he's not 🤪'"

and then dan took our selfies, and i'm rly happy with how they turned out 🥺 so here's them being cute sans me lol

they are indeed really good at making you feel comfortable and just generally being very nice and chill. they sounded more british than i was expecting? which is crazy given i allegedly know exactly what they sound like having watched their videos for 12 years, but still, hearing it up close was still kinda crazy. they are indeed very spindly, im glad i wore platforms so i was at least a little bit taller than i usually am

i Did forget to ask phil my follow up question which was if he would ever do a book recs video/livestream, and i also forgot to tell them that the sappy shit and also some recs for boston food is in the letters, but w/e they'll read those sooner or later, and at least i rmred the most important things. oh also phil's blue eyed stare really is So intense, i can definitely see how his aura can be intimidating (but he rly was so sweet <3). dan is so teddy bear vibes though, not intimidating at all <3

i was towards the end of the m&g line, so after my m&g ended, preshow started ~45 minutes later. the energy at this preshow felt rly married and silly, it was so fun. they definitely have someone prune the phlit questions (but im not sure if whoever does it just grabs them randomly or if they actually read and pick which ones dnp read), since not all of my questions were answered. but i cant complain bc they answered two of mine, which i'll post the videos for tn. but i asked if they're digital hoarders, and they said no (liars), and then dan talked about how phil's desktop is disorganized. and i also asked about their fave recent horror movie, and they both said the substance, which i've been wanting to watch!

and oh my god the show itself was CRAZY. like even though i've been looking at spoilers this entire time, i still wasn't fully prepared (maybe i'll put my more spoilery thoughts in a reblog later). they were so energetic, and their stage presence is magnetic. i think it was a good night for them, as far as i remember, no lines were obviously Forgotten, and any tripping over lines was minor. the show had silly parts, it had serious parts, it was just so Them. you really can feel how comfortable and happy they feel in this new era and, like they talked about in the phukbang, that they feel that their audience is truly Theirs now. the show was so good i Did log onto ticketmaster and google flights to san diego after work today but due to flight prices and work, i fear it's not happening, but god i do want to see it again immediately 😔

finally, thank you to all the wonderful phannies i met!!! i had such a lovely time chatting w/carolina, esmeralda, orion, and winter, who aren't on tumblr 😔 and of course with molly @finalfeudfiend!!! we were seat neighbors, partners in phannie crimes for the night, and also they took my m&g video (mwah mwah tysmmmm molly <333). it was really so great to meet everyone, and all my worries about going alone were totally unfounded <3

here are the bracelets and photocards i got! the far left bracelet is from the vip merch bag, and the rest are from phannies, they say super amazing project, sister daniel, and father philip. i am sooo happy with my photocard pulls. the top row were from the pack that came w/vip merch, and the bottom row i got separately. impossible to pick faves really, but some of mine are of course uni hoodies, holographic hearts tongue out phil, phil looking so polite, and smiley peace sign dannie <333

and that's that! much love to dnp and phannies for making it such a wonderful night. having watched their videos for so long, it was so special to get to see and meet them, i had the best time ever <333

[longing-for-rain]

I'm sorry you got targeted by this stupid callout blog, and I don't know if this makes it better or worse, but I think this is really just someone angry at ships over the end of the day.

I noticed that your detailed response to that anon who turned out to be a (certain kataang shipper) crossing my dash a couple times last week so to me it is veeeery interesting how you just *happened* to have anti zutara people making callouts about you right after that, then the very next person baselessly called out was the *exact same* (certain kataang shipper). Then after that ai-fandom-police blog started it immediately turned into ship wars. It could not be more obvious what the true motivations behind these callouts were.

Anyway I am sorry someone was so angry at you for *checks notes* responding to an anon ask with your opinion about a fictional character that they behaved this way. I don't even know why I still use this toxic ass site, people here have completely lost sight of priorities.

Yeah… that checks out. It was pretty obvious to me from the start that at the very least the anons were motivated by ship wars but I hadn’t made the connection between my post circulating again and the first callout post. That’s… interesting.

That user actually sent me DMs threatening me that they were going to post a callout beforehand and demanded I change my blog description. The whole interaction was just weird. It seemed liked a power trip more than anything else and I have no doubt they would have just posted it anyway if I made the honestly very minor changes they expected.

They also said weird stuff about how their friends were talking about me and randomly called me my deadname as some kind of attempt at an intimidation tactic because apparently an “anon” told them my deadname. Idk if I believe that but. Just weird behavior. I don’t really know that corner of the fandom but who knows, maybe they were friends with one of the kataang shippers who undoubtedly went and cried to their friends about how mean I am for responding to aggressive messages that they sent me about my opinions on fictional characters.

I really don’t take any of it too seriously though because at the end of the day, in fandom, it really all comes down to ship wars. People throw real world issues behind it to prop themselves up but it’s painfully transparent. I’ve been called racist and misogynistic for liking certain ships. I’ve been called homophobic for not liking other ships. I’ve been accused of being a predator over ships. I’ve seen people bring in actual historical tragedies and deeply traumatic current events in the name of ship wars. So it’s really not surprising AI discourse is also getting tossed into this trash heap since that’s become a hot topic in recent times. It’s just as meaningless as the previous accusations to me. In spaces like this, it all ultimately comes down to ship wars and it’s pretty pathetic.

Or I mean, idk. Maybe that person just felt so humiliated by that post they felt the need to get back at me somehow. I guess that must have burned pretty bad lmao.

[apollosgiftofprophecy]

From Dusk to Dawn, Light at the End of the Tunnel, Apollo and Aphrodite bonding, and (I can't remember if this was already answered) A Titan's Demise 👀

From Dusk to Dawn

This particular fic takes place during The Titan's Curse!!! Basically, Apollo sneaking around and helping the questers save Artemis behind Zeus's back.

Apollo shenanigans galore lmao

There's Always Light At the End of the Tunnel

okay, I can't/won't say mcuh about this because 👀 i have plans but...i will say it's Apollo dropping by the Hunt post-ToA

....you know what i think i'll also do something with him dropping by the Hunt pre-PJO for poetry's sake :)

Apollo n Aphrodite bond over "not changing much" in the Greek-Roman thing

okay okay, here's the thing.

Aphrodite herself says that she didn't really change all that much when Rome surprise adopted Greece. She casually flicks between Aphrodite and Venus without much trouble because "love is universal" (like chocolate).

And in this fandom, we all will go down with the "Apollo isn't affected by the schism" theory so...bonding! :D

howmever. there is that Reyna business between Venus and Apollo. I don't know what the common consensus is on how Venus basically humiliated Apollo in front of the entire council is, but here's my two cents: She shouldn't have done that. No matter what it was about Reyna's love life that made her sad (probably that she wouldn't find romantic love but who needs that when u have platonic love eh?), she had no right to tear into Apollo like that. Especially in front of the entire Council. Who proceeded to laugh at him.

😳

Apollo may have a reputation with his relationships, but he didn't even say - or think - he was interested in Reyna. He just asked who she was and remarked she was pretty. It was in the same fashion as Hazel describing Percy as a god - sure, in Tyrant's Tomb Apollo clearly offers to be Reyna's boyfriend if she was interested but took it rather well when she laughed it off.

So yeah. whew. there's my two cents on that. don't shoot if i said something controversial. constructive criticism only please.

Anyway, going back to Aphrodite V Venus. I think the one major difference between them is that Venus may be a little more hardcore - remember, the Greek gods were taken and made more "disciplined" and "warlike". So I think Venus, while she isn't all that different from her Greek counterpart, has that little extra spice to her, a little more vindictiveness (which also adds into the topic above)

their relationship is fascinating to me and i wanna put them under a microscope. I imagine they were good friends because people often stereotype them as "dumb" and "mediocre" (probably because of the whole hot person=stupid person stereotype. and the domains they have [i.e. love, beauty, music, poetry, ooo so scary said some very dumb people who likely met their end either by a tiger they somehow found attractive or a deadly, plague-infested arrow]) and that's something they would vent about to each other. Also, shopping trips. Because I say so. Aphrodite says Apollo's the only other Olympian with any sense of style (Dionysus, she also says, also has style, but that leopard print...it's just too much sometimes. RIP)

oh yeah. and this fic immediately proceeds one other fic - but I'm not telling <3

let's just say that Venus ma~y have had an impact on the next person Apollo dated 👀

A Titan's Demise

i am caps, you are italics.

WHO WANT'S MORE APOLLO & HELIOS? ME!

WHO WANT'S ANCIENT ROME? ME!

WHO WANTS ANGST? ME-wait.

hahaha...this is all about how Apollo & Helios's relationship went sour during the Roman Empire, Helios just...disappearing one day, and Apollo inherited the domain and powers of the Sun.

Enjoy their fluff while you can.

Because I plan to go pain pain pain with this one :)

[weird-dere-writes]

hi twy!!! i wanted to come and actually ask too instead of just putting it in the tags - has ichigo ever shared his thought process around proposing with you? was he nervous? confident you’d say yes immediately? or did he just know it was right and of course was proven right?

Hello my darling Kendy!! :3 (i saw u ask in the tags on that post about what the other ring looked like uwu. if u missed it, it is in this post <3.)

He's talked about it with me a few times uwu.

He had been planning it for a few months ahead of the trip we took. In those beginning stages, he was very nervous about it. Simply seeing a ring on someone else's finger would get his heart to beating and sometimes a drop of sweat would form on his temple. He told me at that time his feelings had just built up so much. Like literally he felt he loved me so much he didn't know what to do. I was always on his mind. He'd start smiling out of nowhere. He'd picture me in all these pretty dresses (not necessarily wedding ones). Like he knew eventually wanted to marry me, but he didn't realize that his senses were telling him he was ready right then until Renji brought it up one day. And Renji had told me once that Ichi's expression was priceless lol. Red faced, wide eyed, jaw on the floor as realization hit. In Renji's words, Dumbly murmuring "Holy shit, I wanna marry her..."

That day bro made himself a separate email account specifically for ring hunting so he could keep everything in one place, and not risk me finding out anything lol.

It did take him a while to find what he thought was the perfect one, sneakily getting my opinions on jewelry and such along the way; me none the wiser. He had known I didn't want your regular degular diamond ring, but had to figure out more past that using what he knew about me and my tastes in general. Once he had narrowed some options and parameters down is when he started trying to get more out of me lmao.

The closer he got to proposing, the less nervous he was about it. He had settled into a calm, but he was never completely confident. There were always butterflies in his stomach.

Not to say he didn't have a good feeling that I would say yes, but he just wanted to keep all options open and be emotionally prepared for whatever, y'know?

He told me that any sense of fear or doubt left him when I came into our room looking for him the day he proposed. From that moment on, somehow, some way, he had already known I was his wife. (Though, he was still really relieved when i actually said yes lol)

Every day after he proposed for like a month, he would find me at some point in the day kissing the ring. Either when I first woke up, before I went to bed, or sometime in between. N he told me seeing that made him the proudest and happiest man alive. Sometimes it even brought tears to his eyes :,)))).

[detroitbecomeonline]

DBH MODDING (9) - MISTAKES WITH MAP SWAPS & MORE TEXTURES

Hello everyone and

Dear Diary

Welcome to this mod diary! In case you missed it, here is my last entry. I had a long break from modding because I went on a road trip with my fiancé. It's currently 24/02/23 and I was hesitant to get back into modding because it takes a LOT of brain power, but in the wise words of Bryan Dechart: "Just care less."

Unfortunately in this entry, I don't have a lot of info to share, but I have some crap that may be useful!

I'll organise my mod diaries a little more so that they're easier to comprehend. I will now keep a list of links at the end of my mod diaries so that they're easy to access.

TOPIC ONE: Map swaps.

I wanted to get into map swaps, so the learning began. Just to recap what Kayla (the legend herself) told me:

"Map swapping is only achievable with hex editing."

"Find and swap out the bytes of those maps."

"In HxD you can simply filter maps/models by name."

"[Filter] out other codes unrelated to maps by typing the name of a map (for example Eden Club) into the hex editor’s search function."

"Outfit swaps work similar to swapping maps with HxD."

BigFile.dat contains some outfits and handbags.

(This is all paraphrased.)

At the start, I immediately tested searching "Eden Club" in the .dat file.

Yup, it works. If you search "Partners", nothing comes up, but I remembered something I stumbled upon in my adventures. It's saves and checkpoints, and in there had what I believe are the original names for the saves and therefore the maps. The list for this is on the left, and on the right is the list for map variations due to character choices (including the directory at the top):

My goal is to swap the Hostage map over with A New Home.

(.dat) Hostage - 48 6F 73 74 61 67 65 (.dat) Todd house - 54 6F 64 64 20 68 6F 75 73 65

I thought these would be the data containers for the maps, but they are not. Maybe I needed to make multiple data containers from the Detroit Tool invisible? I asked Kayla for more details and learned that mucking around with maps requires only the hex editor. Here is the Ask.

I started to look into reverse engineering. I included some extra links at the end of the entry. Here is a YouTube video I skipped through to start my research.

So I tested a swap in the .dat file and obviously, it did not work. I need the codes. I cannot get the codes without reverse engineering. I am not up to the stage of learning reverse engineering. I don't even know a programming language. (Not that I don't plan to learn, of course.)

In the end, I express my difficulty to the modding community, and dragonbane0 said it was okay for Jamie to release the codes! We're just waiting for a write-up for the instructions (which she may post herself, I actually don't know). So hopefully next entry there will be the instructions or a link to the instructions.

TOPIC 2: Textures and texture maps.

Remember these pics from my second mod diary entry?

The "RGB" maps as I nicknamed them are actually called specular maps. It indeed has to do with the shininess of the material. Usually, a specmap is black and white. Any game can store texture data however they want, and in DBH's case, the logic reads the "RGB" specmaps because that's how the channel data gets stored.

My next move with a different texture map was to do with the roughness of Upgraded Connor's jeans. I want to make them look relatively smooth like work slacks.

I got stuck because the image format was in DX10 and I can't export DX10 from GIMP.

I proceeded to download some plugins that I thought would fix my problem. They didn't, but this is generally helpful anyway. How to install plugins.Plugin download landing page.

I asked modders about it, and Auguris said that the Tool will accept DX1 format. So I was like ok ok ok

NEVER MIND. LMAO. Somehow it doesn't read the image properly. There would be ways to get around it, but right now I don't care enough to try. Low on the list of priorities.

Anyway, so after checking out the normal map stuff on GIMP, I realised (yes, I'm an idiot) that I could edit and import any normal map. So I tried editing the material on the back of the RK900's jacket, and I made it smooth. Basically, you can edit normal maps exactly like any other colour map, it just translates the data differently.

If anyone has any questions about anything in this entry, feel free to contact me and I'll include answers in my next one. <3

~ Trinity

Summary:

Map swapping is only achievable with hex editing by finding and swapping out the bytes of those maps.

The red-green-blue maps are called specular maps.

The Tool will take the DX1 image format in place of a DX10, but it will be broken.

Links in this entry:

YouTube video: 'How to reverse engineer your favourite game'

Map swap ask answer from Kayla

gimp-dds download landing page

YouTube video: How to install Gimp2 8, DDS Plugin, and the Normal Map Plugin

Bonus stuff I found:

YouTube video: 'Download and Install GIMP Resynthesizer Plugin for Windows 2022'

The Cutting Room Floor (mod info for other games)

Ghidra download landing page

P.S. I'm wishy-washy when it comes to tagging people in my posts, so if you see your name and want to be tagged please let me know... Because I think all my tagging would be super annoying lol

[frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe]

Movie Meme 🎬

Post 7 comfort movies and tag 7 people. I was tagged by @lunaraindrop and as soon as i was, i immediately forgot every movie i've ever seen.

i think these all count as comfort movies, but they're really just all movies that have significant meaning to me in one way or another OR that i can watch/re-watch no matter what (is that what a comfort movie is? idk)

The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993): if you know me at all, you would've seen this one coming lmao This is my no. 1 fave movie of all time, and it has been since I was..9? I remember exactly where I was when i first saw it and i remember just standing there fully enraptured. literally standing, like i was standing directly in front of the TV

Rocketman (1997) the disney one, where they go to mars! i would put this tape on every night to fall asleep to the point i had the previews (which became all static-y and worn out from constant re-watching) and the first like, 15 min memorized. also, for some reason my family would constantly quote things from this movie without fully realizing it ("hey, what kind of laptop do you have?", "...using what we like to call 'the right way'.", and "now THAT was julie.".)

Rodgers and Hammerstein's Cinderella (1997) the Whitney Houston version with Brandy :) THE BEST adaptation of this version of cinderella. no i will not be taking arguments at this time. sidenote: i FLIPPED SHIT when i went on the Universal lot tour in California last year because this was filmed there on their little 'european town' backdrop. The tour guide said that and i gasped so loud-an actual aloud reaction to that news-and started ranting to my husband about it.

Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat (1999) i loved this movie sm as a kid that i was one of the ensemble kids at a church (that i didn't go to)'s production of the play. me. on a stage. in front of people. singing and dancing and shit. wild stuff, friends.

The Princess Diaries (2001) and Princess Diaries 2 (2004); my little sis and i LOVED watching these movies when we were young. also, while i was writing my steddie PD2 au, i found out that my husband did NOT like these movies and i still don't know what to do with that information.

The Last Holiday (2006) somehow i always forget about this movie. like, everytime i'm reminded of it, it feels like i hadn't watched it in YEARS (though i end up watching it every year around new years!). it's literally so good and makes me want to book a trip to Karlovy Vary/Grandhotel Pupp (and maybe also visit Aneta while i'm there 👀)

The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992) is there anyone who doesn't love this movie?? it is my family's comfort christmas movie and we watch it every christmas eve! (P.S., this movie was my first into to the christmas carol story, and it really threw me off later when i watched a different version and there was only one Marley and not two Marley brothers 😅)

tagging my loverly moots: @henderdads, @strawberryspence, @thefreakandthehair, @undreaming-fanfiction, @potentialheartofdarkness, @yournowheregirl, @appledaggerst and anyone else who sees this and wants to do it!!

[ebbarights]

living+ liveblog under cut

had a good day then a bad day then went for a run and now it's a good day again. let's see if this changes things

logan jumpscare omg

okay i didn't fucking miss him lmao. disregard previous posts

he's against powdering his face because that's gay

literally googled lorene scafaria yesterday bc she directed hustlers and her name sounded familiar only to realise i know her as bo burnham's partner kms

barefoot swede tw

matsson with his affected lisp maybe you should hang out with roman instead of shiv who's too good for you

i have skarsgård stockholm syndrome (lol) bc i've seen him in soo many things lately

the first meeting me when i lie

TWEETS AND DRUG RUMOURS glass houses ken

a friend sent me a roman fancam the other say bc i told her he's my favourite character and it kind of annoyed me a tiny bit bc. that's not what this is but also. lbr. it's exactly what this is

roman facial tic comeback!! honestly my favourite thing kieran does

i want someone to do a hug counter per episode/season when this is all over this one is off the charts

shivyyy :'((((

roman you're not ready to fuck. you never are and i love that about you

ANNABETH GISH????????? MY LOVE

why does she give him advice about grief tho. 'it just hasn't hit you yet'? she's right but that's a really weird thing to say to a stranger

sidenote i have german subtitles on this episode because i was eating and they're the only ones available and. everybody is using like. the formal you? and that's so weird. i don't think they should do that. they're all using first names

the segregation comment should be so telling for those guys who think roman is actually right-wing. he knows shit about all ideologies he just doesn't give a shit!! (that would be very bad irl but in the show i think that's an important distinction)

roman you can't just fire people because you brought it up

is ... the presentation that day? and kendall wants to build a house? dude do you know anything about anything

who is tk. shiv lore unlocked

i used to play something like bitey with a friend in school but with. i think it's called indian burn in english? don't think that name's okay but idk what else you would call it

why is greg there

kendall looks exhausted

roman with the you're fired is like a little kid who just learned a new trick

oooh no i know that gerri outfit i know what comes next :(

this conversation hurts but also this is lifeblood to me

oh so it wasn't your dad will wash you away it was the money. that's such clever editing

roman's on such a power trip it's crazy. maybe post-grieve a little that'll make you feel better

the way he immediately regrets it and his mouth when kendall says he shouldn't is actually killing me dead

tomshiv wouldn't survive a day in a trailerpark

kendall sounds so sad when he talks about the clouds

kendall baby you're so manic and the sibs totally know it

roman pulls him out of it straight onto the other side and then leaves him alone with it that's horrible. i get it but it's horrible

is the fingers to the forehead thing a grounding technique

it's still so crazy to me that their dad just died. like JUST died. and now they have to do shit like this because the company's toast otherwise. something capitalism something humanity etc

ROMAN HUGGING THE HUGE PILLOW LMAOOO

maybe i'm an idiot but why would the guy ask him about matsson's tweet that he obviously hasn't seen?

somebody stop this how long will kendall talk about the tweet this is on l to the og level

literally laughed out loud when roman showed hugo that matsson deleted the tweet

roman in the car 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

(though the people who said roman was seriously genuinely for real horny listening to that make me fucking angry. necrophiliac believer bullshit)

the MUSIIIIIIIC

[unsurprisingly-l]

i dodged a fucking bullet

oh my god guys so the guy i was talking to. SO MUCH!!!!!

1. he was weird and pushy. i made it very clear within the first WEEK of us speaking i made it very clear that i did not want to date him, and that i liked things in the current standing. i. wanted to meet him after i finished work, so we were planning it out and whatnot and he goes “i want to pick u up from work :)” and i JOKINGLY said “my little service sub” IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWED BY AN LMAO. and i guess. that. confused him or whatever so within the next week or so he referred to himself as “your …” something i forgot but like. “i’m your pet” but not. pet it was something else but that’s how it came across and i was like… chill out w that like you are not mine and i am not yours i said i didn’t want to date and he did it again the next week. and i repeated myself. and again. so i cut him off. 2. in the time we weren’t speaking, i was getting my fucking LIFE together and he. well. he got a haircut, went to a party™️ and had sex* with two girls within the same night and posted a bunch of new ..posts on his insta, and unfollowed me. 3. i didn’t even notice he unfollowed me, until the guilt of just. leaving him in the dark (as i would not like to have been if i were him) built up and i decided to reach out and try and apologize and take accountability. i also didn’t hold any resentment towards him or anything like that bc . i know men are just generally shit and i don’t have time to spend being pressed about a boy. so whatever i reach out to him, and we plan to meet at a park to discuss for full closure 4. the WHOLE TIME,,,,,, he was guilt tripping me and being super melodramatic and emo and cringe and UGH!!!!! . but i was Too Autistic™️ to really be affected by it so when he was like “i’ve been through so much like i’m not who i was before and things are really hard for me right now” and i was like. yeah dude me too like i’ve been at such a low point in my life as of late that the time we spent not talking i spent getting my shit together so i didn’t want to go on a mass killing spree every single day so. i feel you and also you cut your hair and posted a bunch of new posts so you obviously are on some new shit. and details details later he goes “do you think you’re good for me?” and i cringed so fucking hard but didn’t show it and i was like “…considering i don’t want to be in a relationship with you, no” and then EYE wanted to ask abt the party™️ but in like a . haha two girls in one night wow type of way not like. are you fucking shitting me dude bc i feel no possessiveness about him. but then i deemed it inappropriate and didn’t but i had already started the question with “do you..” and he said”yes.” and i was like ??? lol and he was like “i do regret.” and so . EMO and i was like “lol that was Not the question i was gonna ask” and he was like “well that’s the question i’m answering” and i was like “..okay..?” and then it got awkward and i tried to make casual convo and he was like “can we just sit in silence for like 10 mins?” and i was like “okay!” but internally i was like seriously dude this is such a waste of precious work time and kinda just looked around and eventually just couldnt take the silence anymore and started talking again and brought the tension down so we decided to just. Walk Somewhere Else so we start going and after a while of him subtly trying to flirt and me just shutting that shit down every time he asks me if he makes me uncomfortable. also for context, when we were still talking, i told him that i didn’t necessarily trust him because i Don’t Trust Men because of how many of the close ones in my life were fucked up to me so it wasnt Him it was just Men and he wasn’t unreceptive but he obviously didn’t want to hear something like that and he said he didn’t understand but it also didn’t really seem like he wanted to understand. so back to his question i said no, but i don’t really think you respect my boundaries either as you’ve already shown (couple-y pet naming thing), so i know that i can expect for you to cross my boundaries, and i’ll know what i have to do when that happens. and he goes silent and doesn’t say anything until we get to a piece of . Sidewalk with benches and he wordlessly veers off to the right towards the benches and i don’t remember the conversation leading up to it but then he CRIED???? and its not that Man Crying its that its literally not that deep bro you thought you could control me (foreshadowing) and got your ass handed to you and you’re upset as a result. and i wasn’t mean to him at all!!!! i was super nonchalant and chill the whole time because im so mature and know how to handle my emotions (hide them). but he only reached out once after that and i didn’t try to reach back out bc i reflected after and realized just how much he was guilt tripping me.

5. TODAY!! i was talking to a girl that knows him and that *sex he had with those two girls at that party, were two black out drunk girls that he definitely did not get consent from, but got head. he forced some girl to make out with him because he thought she was going in for a kiss and she was just leaning over to grab something and he just. held her in place as he tried to pull away, also a serial unsolicited jerking off video sender, plus more and just being an overall creep. so.. I dodged a fucking bullet

[airplaneniner]

YEEEESSSS HOLY SHIT SOMEONE ACTUALLY SUMMARISING THE MANGA I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS MANGA IT'S SO SO SO PEAAAAKKKK (spoilers under cut)

Lmao I read the entire post-anime section, including the Bad Alien arc, in one four-hour stream I did on the Hoshitele discord, and...man. I cannot stress enough how absolutely batshit INSANE the post-anime got. I think reading the whole Bad Alien arc in one sitting, going on no food or sleep, probably shook me up more but FUCK me if it wasn't a trip.

Everyone was hyping up Chapter 42/43, when Yuu had her psychotic slip, and of course without me knowing a thing. So obviously I got there and was at a complete loss for words. Like, I don't think I've EVER seen a CGDCT manga get that heavy. Especially since the Yuu of chapter 42 is so different to the Yuu of the anime. It's like looking at two different people. Seeing someone who's always presented as either funny and energetic or calm and soothing just slowly lose their mind, lashing out and becoming cold is. Actually Pretty Horrifying! As someone on Hoshitelecord once said, "if Matataki stops using 'fruit', shit's about to hit the fan".

I think that Umika's growth is quite amazing considering the person she was at the beginning. She went from blaming and shutting herself inside her room for a week after losing one tournament, to being unfazed by her closest friend (who's an OP alien with superpowers!) pinning her down and threatening her and then fucking DIGGING THROUGH A FOREST UNTIL HER HANDS WERE RAW JUST TO SAVE HER. Most people would have lost their sanity and she KEPT. FUCKING. GOING. I initially had my reservations about her being the leader of the Model Rocket Association, but that single act convinced me that despite her shortcomings she DESERVES to be called President.

(Oh, and also count the fact that she saved Matataki from drowning with zero hesitation. She just immediately grabbed her and pulled her out. This girl is AMAZING.)

I can rant about this manga for aaaaages but I'm just so glad that more and more people are coming to appreciate it, because it really is amazing. Super sad that the anime will never get a second season, because aough people are missing out on absolute peak.

(Yuumika and Harutaki for the win, by the way. They're so married.)

When I started Hoshikuzu Telepath, I expected a mediocre CGDCT and slight yuri undertones that started and ended at the forehead-elepathy.

DAMN was I wrong.

Warning: MAJOR spoilers. This is pretty much a summary occasionally mixed in with my thoughts.

In short, if you haven't read Hoshikuzu Telepath, you should read it. It's really fucking good.

In long:

First off, Umika is a believable anxious character. She doesn't just get sad or withdrawn, she'll cry if she gets too overwhelmed or worried. That isn't to say there aren't anxious people who just shut down, but it is nice to see a character who cries and is still presented as emotionally strong.

Because Umika is! So many stories present protagonists that supposedly get up after being knocked down, but there's never the impressions that they're knocked down, just pushed back. They don't cry, get frustrated, or react poorly, they just have an obstacle they need to get around and, while the progress they make feels satisfying, it never feels like they overcome the internal strife they supposedly have.

With Hoshikuzu Telepath, things actually get worse before they get better. There's almost always something stressing out one of the members of the main cast, because they're all girls with some level of trauma, but it doesn't become oppressive at any point.

To start, Matataki joining was pretty lighthearted. There were some rough spots, but it kind of felt inevitable she'd join. The subsequent competition, Umika's panic attack during her speech, and the listless air of defeat after the competition was not where I expected the story to go, but it was what got me hooked.

The heartfelt conversation between Umika and Yuu in the lighthouse... that was YURI! It also sets up the core of Umika and Yuu's relationship and it's connection to light. And, of course, the fact that while Umika thinks she's an absolute failure, other people at school think its awesome that she makes model rockets is great! Because, yeah, that's what all people in a field of expertise experience at some point, or at least what they deserve. You have experience and think you're terrible, but someone without experience thinks its cool.

To be honest, I think Matataki is my favorite character. I'm a sucker for mechanics, I'm a sucker for characters with a gay little fang, and I relate to a lot of her character. Her relationship with Haruno is great, especially when she realizes she can't blow the material down the rocket tube because that would mean an indirect kiss. And of course, Haruno coming in when she's brooding, yelling about how she's gonna beat her in a competition and make her lose, then taking her goggles... excellent.

Side note: I would not object if this managed to become poly yuri. The relationships between our four main characters are all well established and they aren't relegated to only having deep and intimate character moments with their narrative foil.

Matataki facing off against Haruno, Umika, and Yuu was great, and her losing on purpose so she could go back to being alone was an amazing character moment. And then Haruno calling that she used an engine too small? AGHHH! Matataki getting pissed off and trying to push everyone away again is great! She's not just someone who says some kinda mean things and doesn't ever mean them, she genuinely says this to hurt, not because she hates anyone, but because she distrusts them. And earlier, she made Umika cry with her words, which just makes Umika coming back and making a speech about wanting to make a place where all of them can pursue their dreams and be comfortable... it feels so genuine because we've SEEN her pursue this goal!

Umika getting sick from all this exertion is a bit contrived, but it leads to some good yuri, so I have no complaints. Also Umika's mom works at the aquarium. I wonder if we'll get the state-mandated aquarium yuri date? Umika's gay little dream about Yuu is cute, and her asking Yuu to not do forehead-elepathy with anyone else is not just adorable, but a portent of the drama to come, as Yuu immediately does whatever Umika wants due to her desperation for someone who cares for her. While it just looks like a cute, two-sided yuri crush at this point, we can tell it's sowing the seeds for something that could be seriously codependent looking back. Also, while forehead-elepathy is obviously a (debatably) platonic stand-in for kissing, it feels way gayer. This is also where Yuu starts becoming aware of her feelings for Umika.

And here is where I start going feral over the chapter taglines. "I must be the only one who noticed that our hands are touching," shows Yuu's love for Umika so clearly. Umika is thrilled to have a companion like Yuu, and while she's pretty gay about it, she does not realize the extent of her influence on Yuu. Yuu thinks that Umika is the only one who truly and wholly accepts her and thus is desperate to be exactly what Umika wants her to be. Yet she also doesn't think that Umika could reciprocate those feelings, and thus worries about how their relationship would progress. Thus, she thinks that she's the only one who notices their hands touching.

The lighthouse meeting here demonstrates this perfectly. Yuu is following a request Umika gave her while delirious from fever with immense discipline. Then, Yuu is thrilled when Umika gets better at talking to other people. Then she's terrified. Terrified of Umika drifting away from her, terrified that if Umika doesn't need her anymore, she won't want her.

Umika gets better at talking to people and gives her presentation at the club leader meeting pretty well and tells Yuu about it. Yuu tries to voice her worries, but ultimately is afraid that Umika will push her away and plays it off and tells Umika that she's not doing forehead-elepathy with anyone else because Umika asked her too. And Umika doesn't remember, she apologizes, and Yuu calls herself stupid for it.

And the ending tagline here is GRAHHH. "An arm's length is so frustratingly short." Yuu wants to keep herself away, because she's becoming worried. She wants Umika to get better, and if Yuu gets too obsessed with Umika, she might try to stop that.

Yuu thinks that it's fine if Umika doesn't get better at talking to other people, because Yuu will always be able to understand her. And she feels terrible, because she wants Umika to get better at talking to other people, so the only person she can blame is herself.

She gets worse, but lets take a diversion to look at Haruno and Matataki and their gay ol' times together. Haruno arriving to Matataki, ready to ride on her motorcycle in a skirt, only for Matataki to put her in jeans and a biker jacket is great, but the fact that they talk about it being to Matataki's "taste," is... GRAHHHHH!!!

Haruno pouring out her worries about herself, talking about how she's grown, and thanking Matataki for helping improve is adorable. Haruno leaning over the railing, losing her balance, and falling back into Matataki's arms is adorable. And then Haruno says "I love it when... you're so strong and kind, Matataki-chan!" She was about to confess, I guarantee you.

Then Matataki gives her a new choker??? And Haruno grins like an idiot when she gets it and asks if she fits Matataki's tastes more now??? And then when Haruno asks her for help finding out what her grandfather's dreams were, she says "I love you!" when Matataki agrees????? They're so girlfriends.

Anyways, they've got a radio to the aliens now that only works intermittently and Yuu is FUCKED UP. She is panicking, torn between elation at possibly meeting her people and fear at leaving Umika. When they go to the coordinates, in the woods, where they think the UFO is going to land eventually, it doesn't come immediately. Then night passes and Matataki and Haruno leave Umika and Yuu to it.

Umika is positive, as usual, but then Yuu starts getting worried about her possessiveness. And then it gets fuckin' wild. The 4koma template that's only been broken for big moments is broken again as Yuu pins Umika to the ground and covers her mouth and starts talking about how "Only you could tug at my heart like that..." Then she starts caressing Umika's hand and face and talking about how Umika doesn't need other people, about how Yuu can understand her just fine, about how they should "stay together... forever." Then Yuu is overwhelmed with guilt and says that she doesn't really want to do any of that and runs off terrified.

I was NOT FUCKING EXPECTING THIS. I did not anticipate the series would delve into an actual toxic lesbian relationship, but here we are!

And, of course, Umika doesn't give up. Her digging through the grounds with her bare hands because she thinks that what the coordinates marked was actually a piece of meteorite that could restore the function of the radio... she really does love Yuu.

I'm getting a bit tired, so I won't go into their reconciliation, but it's nice seeing Umika realize her feelings for Yuu. And the fact that they both realize and say, in front of Haruno and Matataki, that they feel jealousy over each other in a way different than from friendship... c'monnnnn canon lesbians lets go, canon lesbians.

Also Matataki is getting interested in the Cosmic language (which is Esperanto! Pretty nice.) and I'm betting she's going to confess to Haruno in it so she can admit to herself that she's in love and then pass it off as an insult when Haruno asks what she said. Of course, this is going to be followed by Haruno saying it to Umika or Yuu, who will tell her what it actually means. Investing in this now.

The series does seem to be getting lighter now, what with Matataki in a maid outfit for the culture festival. I do like the scene where the middle schooler looks at the display from the Rocket Research Association and Umika shows her what everything does. It's nice seeing someone passing on their knowledge to someone and getting them interested in the field while sharing their passion. Even if they're only 15 (Umika, probably) and 14 (the middle schooler, probably) years old.

Also the yuri is getting cranked up after that mutual confession of jealousy, with Yuu and Umika pretty much flirting in public.

Also, can't remember when it happened, but Matataki really did say "Fuck them kids." Poor teacher gets constantly ignored, too.

This ended up being more of a summary than an analysis. Ah well.

The TVTropes page is also desperate to emphasize that these girls AREN'T EXPLICITLY ATTRACTED TO EACHOTHER GUYS ALRIGHT THIS IS DEFINITELY NOT CANONICALLY YURI!

TVTropes is wrong btw. They're gay. Gay as fuck.

[n1k1tty]

idol!enha's reaction to other idols crushing on idol!reader ?? :D <3

idol!enha reacting to other idols crushing on idol!reader! ft p1harmony!

HEESEUNG

- LOLLL he'd try so hard to hide his jealousy

- he was in an interview with your group, enha, and p1

- and theo and you had like a cute little interaction

- you like tripped and he just happened to be behind you so he helped you and some shit like that

- he was honestly okay with it at first but the hosts started to tease you and theo and he was like 🤨->😃->🙂->😕

- and then it was even worse when he was scrolling through twt and he saw that you and theo were trending LMAO

- the second you came over to their dorm he pouts and TRIES to ignore you

- but literally the second you say hi to him and give him a hug, his heart literally melts and immediately forgets about you and theo's scandal

- after he told you (and you teasing him) he just tweeted "everyone pause for a sec, yn is MINE" with you retweeting it to confirm LMAO

- hybe was mad at hee but it was all worth it tbh ;)

JAY

- you and jay were watching P1's weekly idol ep

- a few minutes into the video, the hosts ask him who's Theo's ideal type

- and he said "well my ideal type would probably be Y/n from (group name)"

- not even a second after theo said that, jay turns off the tv

- you just laugh at him LMAOOOOO

-for the rest of the week, jay is just trying to impress you by flipping the pancakes in the air or showing off his muscles out of nowhere

- "babe what is up with you?" you laugh

- "don't tell me you're leaving me for that theo guy"

- "THAT'S WHY YOUVE BEEN TRYING TO IMPRESS ME THIS WHOLE WEEK?!"

JAKE

- your group went to an award show and you just happened to sit between enha and P1

- and when you sat down, Jiung noticed that your skirt was a little short

- and out of respect, he gave you his jacket

- this went viral all over twitter

- and all jake could do was pout about it

- "quit pouting baby, you know i'm yours"

- "i know, but how come they didn't notice when I was about to hand MY jacket to you?!"

- "want me to tell engenes and (fandom name)?"

- "no y/n that's so stupid--"

- "BREAKING NEWS: whole social media goes wild after (group name)'s Y/n posts a picture of them and Enhypen's Jake cuddling with the caption saying "cuffed<3""

SUNGHOON

- after it was announced that u and keeho were mcing a show together, the whole internet was going frenzy over u and keeho's 'relationship'

- the directors insisted on having the two of u spending more time tghtr to get close

- and ofc,,,, bb sunghoon wasn't too happy about it

- but it doesn't get any better from there bcs after the first episode of the show, the whole internet was going crazy about how keeho took a lint off your hair

- and when you n sunghoon finally had free time, u came over to their dorm

- BELIEVE ME OR NOT BUT THIS MF LITERALLY LOCKED YOU OUT OF HIS ROOM

- "sunghoon wtf, whats wrong"

- he just walked past u until jungwon had to tell u whats up

- "sunghoons sulking cuz of u and keeho"

- u bursted out laughing and attacked sunghoon w kisses :3

- held u tight on the couch and forced you to watch despicable me 2 ( and kept on calling u gru🙄)

SUNOO

- after telling him that u and intak were doing a dance collab, sunoo claims that he wasn't jealous

- but his behaviour the following days say otherwise🙄

- "babe come look at my new plants :)" replies w "nice" (DOESN'T EVEN LOOK AT IT)

- he kept on being sassy and petty to the point where you've had enough of it

- "KIM SUNOO ISTG"

- gets scared and gives you a big smile that usually makes u soft

- this time it didn't work and he knew he got himself into some deep shit LMAOOOO

- *making up excuses as to why hes acting that way*

- "oh really? riki says it was bcs of intak"

- "NISHIMURA RIKIIIIII"

- legend says riki is still running for his life

JUNGWON

- i can never picture this man being jealous

- but deep down he prolly is LMAO

- after finding out that u had a collab with jeongseob he acts as if it was okay and went on about his day

- or so u thought🌚

- for the following days jungwons been a little clingier than usual

- not saying that u DONT like it but obviously there was smth wrong

- for the 5th time today, he gave you a kiss on the cheek and gave u a hug from behind

- "jungwon whats up"

- he acts clueless 🙄

- "idk what ure talking abt😊"

- u give him a look that tells him u knew whats up so he just told u

- "AWWWW wonie :( ily okay? only u"

RIKI

- u were supposed to do a dance collab w riki but due to his fever they chose soul to fill in instead

- he was bummed about it for WEEKS

- and once the video was released, it had a lot of good reactions

- but it seems as though riki was the only one who didn't like it

- "pfft i bet you he probably has a crush on you"

- when he saw that soul had to touch your HAND

- he literally freaked out and rose from his bed immediately

- "RIKI LAY YOUR ASS BACK DOWN URE STILL SICK"

- "ISNT THAT ILLEGAL? ONLY I GET TO HOLD UR HAND"

- holds ur hand the whole day so that "the soul particles would be replaced by riki particles instead😊"

[mikeyinnit]

lovebug

Pairing: Wilbur x GN!Reader

Summary: Wilbur was done with love after he lost Sally, but when Fundy introduces him to one of Niki’s friends, things start to change.

Word Count: 2k words

Notes: Songfic!! I said they would be rare and it’s the second fic I post lmao. Inspired by Lovebug by the Jonas Brothers, totally willing to do a part 2 for this one because I have other ideas with other lyrics and stuff

Tagging: N/A

After Sally, Wilbur wasn’t really looking for anyone else to love, in fact, he had given up on love entirely. He had to focus on his son and the nation he was building from the ground up.  

Then you came into the picture.

You were a friend of Niki’s, that’s how he met you. Fundy was visiting the bakery and when Wilbur came to get him, he saw you helping the young fox hybrid make cookies. It was such a sweet sight that he took a moment to just enjoy seeing his son have a great time. When he did enter, Fundy introduced the two.

“This is Y/N! They’re one of Niki’s friends. Y/N, this is my dad. He’s single.”

Of course his son would throw him under the bus like that. But you just laughed, and god did you have a beautiful laugh, and held out your hand. A gesture that Wilbur returned with one of his charming grins.

“Fundy’s talked about you all day, I feel like I know you already…” you had trailed off, obviously Fundy only referred to him as my dad, prompting him to give his name.  

“Wilbur Soot.”

“Wilbur. It’s great to meet you.”

You gave him your phone number, clearly you were as taken with Fundy as the boy was to you, for him or his son to use anytime. Then you said your goodbyes for the night as you sent them on their way with the cookies you and Fundy baked along with some extra baked goods.

Called you for the first time yesterday

Wilbur hadn’t used your number for a good couple of days. He had been busy with L’Manberg and honestly had barely had time to see his son, let alone the enchanting stranger.  

Today was a day that he could actually spend quality time with Fundy, and obviously all of that time at the bakery while he was working just made the young boy want to bake cookies with his dad. Unfortunately, Fundy was very specific with what cookies he wanted to make. The ones he baked with you.

“These don’t taste like the ones Y/N made.” Was said numerous times throughout the night no matter how Wilbur changed the recipe so eventually, he just gave up and called you to figure it out.  

“Hello?”

Your voice rang out through the telephone and it instantly felt like all of the stress of this baking night was leaving his body.

“Y/N, it’s Wilbur. We met at Niki’s the other day?”

“Wilbur! Of course. How are you? How’s Fundy?”

Another grin was brought to his face at you almost immediately asking about Fundy, though he didn’t have the chance to respond as the aforementioned hybrid returned from getting more ingredients for the cookies and practically begged his father to put you on speaker so he could talk to you as well.

“Y/N!!”

It was almost like he could hear the smile on your face as you spoke to Fundy. “Fundy! What are you up to?”

“We’re trying to bake cookies but dad can’t make them like you.”

Wilbur heard that laugh again, that beautiful laugh that he first heard at the bakery.  

“That’s because your dad probably doesn’t know the secret ingredient that we used to bake those cookies. How about you give the phone back to him so I can let him know and then I’m sure you two will bake the best cookies ever.”

Then the phone was back in his hand and he spoke, “Secret ingredient?”

You grinned as you answered, “I just told him to tell the dough nice things in his life. Some people say speaking love into the dough helps, I don’t know if it’s true or not but he had fun with it.”

It sounded ridiculous, but Wilbur decided to try it.

“Thanks, Y/N. I’ll let you know how it goes.”  

This time, Fundy thought the cookies were perfect.  

I finally found the missing part of me

You became a big part of his routine after that night. He would see you at the bakery every time he came to get his son, he called you even when he was at work, you quickly became an important part of his life. Fundy loved you, days together often involved him telling Wilbur all about whatever the two of you got up to.  

Wilbur wasn’t a stranger to love, he loved Sally, he loved his country, he loved his son. But it felt very different with you. He couldn’t even say it was love yet, you just felt like you fit with him and Fundy. You were kind, and obviously cared about his son, you were funny, the texts and calls he exchanged with you never failed to put a smile on his face. And you cared about his son a lot, which was certainly not a negative. For the two of them, it felt like you were the perfect fit to the puzzle they didn’t realize was missing a piece.

I felt so close but you were far away

Getting used to having you in his routine meant it really sucked when you traveled to a village far away. Fundy missed you and honestly, Wilbur did too. You promised the young boy that you wouldn’t be gone for long, and told him that he was welcome to call you at anytime. Which Fundy took full advantage of. Every night before the young fox hybrid went to bed, he called you on Wilbur’s phone and the two of them heard about your day and they shared details of their own. On certain nights, you even joined Wilbur in singing a lullaby for him.  

People say that absence makes the heart grow fonder and that absolutely seemed true with your trip. Both of the boys missed you and wondered when you would be back, but luckily, you came back within a month. And you came back with plenty of gifts for Fundy, which made the boy ridiculously happy. You even got a gift for Wilbur, which was certainly a pleasant surprise since really, you being back was enough of a gift for him.  

That night, he invited you over for dinner. He said it was to celebrate your return, which is true, but he also just wanted to spend time with you now that you were back. You agreed, and the three of you even tried baking dessert, which resulted in a small flour fight initiated by you.  

Wilbur usually liked everything in order and in his control, something like throwing flour around and making a complete mess of his kitchen is something that Tommy would enjoy, but somehow it felt okay with you and his son.  

I never thought that I’d catch this lovebug again

After that night, Wilbur came to realize that he did like you, if not love you. You were a nice balance to his control and an escape from the stress of his job as president.  

At first, it felt like a betrayal to Sally. He decided he was going to focus on his son and his nation, not love. He decided that long before you came into the picture and he was a man of his word. Even if that word was only said to himself.

He knew he couldn’t just outright ignore you. Not only would that be unfair to you, it wouldn’t be fair to Fundy.  So he had to deal with it another way, throwing himself further into his work. It meant less time with his son but it was very productive for L’Manberg. Plus it meant Fundy got to see you and Niki more so Wilbur is certain that the young fox would understand and perhaps enjoy this more than spending time with him.  

There was a knock at his door but Wilbur didn’t even look up as he called out, “Come on in.” Obviously it wasn’t Tommy since the boy never knocked but it could have been Tubbo or Jack Manifold or even someone from outside of L’Manberg.  

“You would think that in a time of peace, the president would have more free time.”

He knew that voice. He could never forget the face that went along with it. Your smile and eyes never left his mind even with him trying his hardest to shut out the rest of the world.  

“Y/N, I wasn’t expecting to see you. What brings you by?”

“I haven’t seen you in a while, Fundy told me you’ve been sleeping here lately so I thought I would check on you.”  

And there was that kindness again. The kindness that made him fall in love with you in the first place.  

“I’m okay, Y/N. Just busy.”  

“Too busy to stop by the bakery to see your friends? Or to even come home and see your son at night?”

There was an edge to your voice and Wilbur wasn’t sure how he felt about it, obviously he thought that Fundy would prefer spending time with you and Niki over himself but it seemed like you disagreed.

You strongly disagreed.  

“I’ve just been busy. Running a country is a lot of work, Fundy will understand. He gets to see you and Niki more anyways, he’s happier that way.” He shifted his eyes back to the papers in front of him, letters he had been drafting for the past two hours and couldn’t get anywhere with.  

“Fundy is a child, Wilbur. Niki and I are happy to see him at the bakery but we aren’t replacements for his dad. His dad who suddenly became “too busy” almost overnight. What happened?”  

It truly was sweet the way you cared about his son that much. Enough to come to his office when you could be sleeping. This could have been a good moment for him to say what was on his mind, that he thinks he was falling in love with you and didn’t want to betray his dead wife. But he lied.

“Tommy has been getting into trouble with Dream recently, I want to make sure we don’t fight in another war so soon. Or ever again.” It was a solid lie, Tommy had a reputation for being a troublemaker and he could use that to his advantage. You seemed like you were about to speak, probably about Fundy, so he spoke first, “I promise that I will talk to Fundy and see him more as soon as I get this figured out. Thank you, Y/N, it’s really nice Thank you, Y/N, it’s really nice to know that someone else cares about Fundy this much, he needs that.”

“It’s not just him that I care about, Wilbur. I wish you would see Fundy more sooner but I was also worried about you, I know you care about him so something had to be going on for you to miss seeing him this often.”

Well that certainly didn’t help with him trying to ignore these feelings.

“Then I thank you again. I really appreciate it. Goodnight, Y/N. Get some sleep.”

“Goodnight, Wilbur.”

I kissed them for the first time yesterday

Wilbur kept the promise he made to you. Considering the reason he gave you for being busy was a lie, it wasn’t hard to get back to seeing his son and by extension, you.  

If you asked him, he would say he’s handling his feelings for you rather well now. He hasn’t done anything about it but he isn’t shutting out the world so, progress.

It was another dinner night with you and Fundy, you had brought desert with you this time so they didn’t have another flour fight but it was still lovely. After he sent Fundy to bed, you stuck around.  

The two of you had been sitting on the couch together for a whole, just talking about anything, and maybe it was just because it was late and you looked so beautiful but something came over Wilbur and he asked, “Would you mind if I tried something?”

You nodded, curious about what he was going to try, but you didn’t stay curious for long as Wilbur gently cupped your face with one hand and leaned in to kiss you.

A kiss that you returned.  

I never thought that I’d get hit by this lovebug again

[supernovafics]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐃𝐀𝐘𝐒 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐀 𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇

pairing: dylan o’brien x best friend fem!reader

summary: in which dylan has been your best friend for as long as you could remember. your busy lives and schedules may have pushed both of your lives in vastly different directions as you’d gotten older, but somehow you two would always be led back to your hometown, and each other, during the holidays. however, one moment causes all of that to change. 

warnings: angst (what else is new), some fluffiness, mentions of past trauma (the maze runner incident), existential crises, explicit language

word count: 3.6k words

author’s note: idk why i decided to write something christmas related in the summer but it happened lmao (also i feel like it’s slightly important to mention that this takes place in 2016)

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

The rocks being thrown at your window were not what woke you up. Instead, you had been lying awake for hours; getting little to no sleep was something that you had become used to at this point.

However, on this specific night— or morning, depending on how one looked at it— you were glad that your sleep had been restless once again because it made it easy for you to get out of bed and walk to your window when the rocks began hitting it.

There was really no need for you to push open the curtains and check who was doing the throwing because, of course, it was Dylan. Ever since he moved onto your street in Hermosa Beach in middle school and the two of you easily became friends, he was the only person that would ever wake you up in the middle of the night with the soft pings of rocks, especially on this specific day at this specific time.

You waved at him and gestured that you would be down in a moment. You slipped on a random pair of sweatpants along with a hoodie and then placed the Christmas gift that you bought for him in the pocket. The item was small enough to fit in the not too big pocket of your hoodie; however, it did awkwardly protrude a bit.

All of this was a sort of unspoken tradition that the pair of you had developed over the many years you’d known each other. Meeting at five in the morning on Christmas day, walking to the beach that was only a few blocks away from your respective childhood homes, and exchanging Christmas gifts with each other as you both watched the sunrise. It started when you were in ninth grade, and you hadn't missed a year since, not even when the ending of high school pushed your lives in vastly different directions, especially since Dylan graduated a year before you and was almost immediately thrust into his acting career.

But, it didn't matter that Dylan's career took off, and you eventually decided to go to college in Santa Barbara, because, no matter what, you both would always come back for the holidays.

When you opened your front door and saw Dylan lingering by the sidewalk no more than ten feet away, you were quick to go toward him and pull him in for a tight embrace. It actually hadn't been too long since you’d last seen him, maybe only five or six months, but for some reason, it still felt as if the last time he was in front of you was last December.

"Hey," Dylan breathed out in a short greeting, his arms wounding around your waist.

“Hey to you too," You responded, a small smile gracing your features when you both pulled away, and you looked up at him. "How have you been?"

It was quiet for a few moments as you waited for him to answer the question, but eventually, you were met with no verbal response, and instead, Dylan simply shrugged. The short action made your heart constrict in the most painful way, and it was then that you noticed the light remnants of a scar peeking out from behind his dark hair that covered the majority of his forehead. You were quick to peel your eyes away from the scar and instead cast them down at your Converse-covered feet, but that didn't stop the memories from quickly coming back.

The Maze Runner accident had happened back in March, but to you, and you knew to Dylan as well, it felt as if it was just yesterday, especially considering the fact that he was still dealing with the unavoidable repercussions from it.

"Wanna walk?" You asked, finally looking up at him once again.

Dylan nodded. "Yeah."

A silence that could only be deemed as comfortable lingered between them as the two of you took the five-minute walk to the beach and sat down side by side on one of the random empty benches.

"Merry Christmas, Y/N," Dylan said as he handed a present over to you. The present was messily wrapped, something that was not at all uncommon when receiving gifts from Dylan, and the sight of it made you smile.

Before you unwrapped the gift, you pulled out the one you had for him and handed it over. "Merry Christmas, Dyl."

The nostalgic sound of wrapping paper ripping could be heard as you tore into your gift. A simultaneous shocked and happy yelp emitted from your lips when you held up a Harry Potter t-shirt. But, it wasn't just any Harry Potter t-shirt; it was one with a version of the Goblet of Fire movie poster on it, which was your all-time favorite movie in the series.

"Holy shit."

"It's the original merch that was sold when the movie came out," Dylan told you. He hadn't opened his gift yet, and instead, he was playing with the green bow placed on top of it; he always liked to see your reaction first.

You looked at Dylan and then back down at the shirt as you processed his words. "Wow, double holy shit. I would put it on if it wasn't freezing right now."

Dylan laughed a bit. "Very understandable."

“Why haven't you opened yours yet? I'm dying to see what you think of it," You said. You were now holding the t-shirt to your chest, genuinely feeling like a little kid on Christmas morning again.

Dylan finally began unwrapping your gift to him, and when all of the paper was peeled off, there was a square box. "Aw, a plain white box. Thank you so much. This is what I've always wanted."

You rolled your eyes and playfully bumped him with your shoulder. "Ha ha. Please save all of these bad jokes for your stand-up act; I can't wait to boo you off the stage along with everyone else."

"So, what I'm hearing is you don't think that becoming a comedian is going to be the next best career move for me?" Dylan asked. He attempted to make the question sound as serious as possible, but there was a joking undertone to his words.

You bit back your laughter. "Please just open the box already so I don't have to hurt your feelings by truthfully answering that question."

"Okay, we'll circle back to that topic later," Dylan smiled and then finally opened the white box to reveal a slightly faded baseball. When he picked it up, he ran his thumb over the black signature written on it. "Now it's my turn to say holy shit."

You could feel yourself smiling at his awestruck reaction, and you wondered if that was what you looked like when you saw the Harry Potter shirt. The baseball was signed by one of the players of the New York Mets that had been Dylan's favorite player when he was younger, and he'd even caught a ball hit by him when he went to a game before he moved to California.

"I've had this idea for years, but I could never find a baseball signed by him," You began explaining, the excitement clear in your voice. "But, last month, someone named Paul Todd posted this on eBay and I immediately bought it. God bless that old man. It's completely authentic and everything."

Dylan was quiet for a few moments as he simply looked at the baseball in his hands, a small joyful smile on his face, and it made you happy to see him so genuinely elated with the present.

"This just made my gift look like shit," He finally said, a light laugh falling from his lips.

"I have always been the superior gift giver. I think that's my hidden talent," You responded with a playful smirk.

Dylan placed the baseball back in its box and then looked at you. "Next year you will receive the best gift ever from me. It will completely top everything that you have ever given me."

"You're saying that as if I should feel upset about receiving a trip to Italy as a Christmas gift."

"A trip to Italy?"

"In my strong opinion, that would be the best gift ever," You said with a smile and then looked down at the t-shirt, which was now in your lap. "But, anyway, I don't think this gift is shit. I'm in love with this shirt already."

Dylan let out a joking, overexaggerated sigh in relief. "Phew, okay, since you think this gift is great, that means I don't have to do the trip to Italy next year."

"What? Did I say I like this t-shirt? I hate it! Harry Potter actually su— Fuck, I can't say this with a straight face," You laughed, and Dylan was quick to join in with you.

The joking statements leading up to the laughter hadn't even been the funniest things ever, but it didn't matter because this was probably the hardest you had laughed in a while, and you were both glad and unsurprised that it was with one of your favorite people in the entire world.

You missed joking around and laughing with him. You missed simply being with him.

Eventually, the laughter died off, but there was still a smile planted firmly on your face. You looked ahead at the darkness in front of you and the ocean that looked completely black; it was still kind of early, so the sun hadn't begun to rise just yet. Your back pressed against the wooden bench, and you let out a small sigh, your head finding Dylan's shoulder as you leaned against him.

"How have you been?" You asked him, your words coming out both soft and slightly quiet, and before the mood became too serious with your question that was nothing but serious, you attempted to lighten it. "And please no shrugs as a response this time. I don't wanna get a headache due to my head bouncing off your shoulder."

Dylan let out a breath of a laugh at your final statements but refrained from answering the question for a few moments.  

After what felt like forever, he sighed and ran a hand through his dark hair. "I honestly don't know. My mind has felt so fucked lately, thinking about everything. I swear I've been feeling every feeling known to man these past months."

"What are you feeling right now? In this moment?"

"I'm really happy with you. This is probably the only normal and familiar thing I've experienced in a while. But, of course, there's still that confused feeling in the back of my mind revolving around everything else." He paused for a brief moment before continuing, his next words came out quieter. "I don't even know if I want to go back to acting."

You lifted your head off his shoulder and looked at him as you pulled his hand into yours and gave it a light, reassuring squeeze.

"No matter what you decide. I'll be right there to support you," You told him and then added a "bro" at the end of her sentence along with a small smile. Whenever things became too deep in a conversation you two were having, one of you would always throw a "bro" or "dude" in there to bring some playfulness to the mood.

The corners of Dylan's perked up a bit. "So, you'll support me when I decide to become a comedian?"

You were unable to stifle your light laughter. "Yes, fine, fuck it. I'll be the loudest one laughing at all of your shows."

Dylan squeezed your hand back because he knew exactly how reluctantly true your words were. "Don't worry, I promise not to put you through that."

"Thank you."

"So, how have you been?"

"No."

"Oh, come on," Dylan said as he playfully poked your side. "I'm not gonna be the only one exposing my feelings."

You sighed and then hesitantly nodded. "Okay, okay."

The truth was you had been far from good lately. Your life was moving, but for some reason, you felt like you weren’t moving with it.

You felt stuck.

Stuck in a confusing mindset where you had absolutely no idea what you wanted to do with your life. You thought that identity crises usually happened in high school, but apparently, yours had come five years late. But, you knew that this delayed identity crisis had been your own doing because you had convinced herself that you would figure everything out once you were in college; and you were both lucky and smart enough to receive a full ride to UCSB.

And although you were finishing up your Master's degree in Creative Writing and had a TA job at the university with the department, which was the reason behind why you could even pay for the Master's program, something in your "should be great" life simply did not feel right.

However, you felt absolutely terrified to say any of that out loud because admitting it would only finally make that statement a wholehearted truth, instead of just a spiraling thought in your mind. And even though Dylan was your best friend and you knew you could tell him anything and not receive any sort of judgment, it still felt hard to let the words leave your lips.

You thought about the way to perfectly word everything, but nothing felt right. You pulled your hand away from Dylan's and covered your face as you let out an exasperated breath. "I can't figure how to say it all."

Dylan placed an arm around you and then mimicked the same question you had asked him not too long ago. "What are you feeling right now? In this moment?"

You would have both laughed and smiled at the fact that he was using your exact words if the current circumstances were different.

"Scared," You finally said, your voice barely above a whisper. "I don't know what the fuck I wanna do anymore, and actually, I don't think I really ever did. I only went to college because of the scholarship, and I convinced myself that I would figure my life out when I got there. And for a while, things felt right because I found creative writing and genuinely enjoyed it, but something doesn't feel right anymore. And I actually do like school. Because it's stable, and I am doing things, even if it's taking a dumbass test. But, it's about to be over soon, and I have no idea what I'm gonna do."

Your words were coming out like vomit, and nothing could stop it because finally, everything you had been feeling for so long was out of your head and put into the open.

"And don't get me wrong, I do love to write, but I don't know, I just can't see myself doing it for the rest of my life," You admitted and then let your next words come out quietly. "Honestly, I can't see myself doing anything. I'm so unhappy here."

You did not say it aloud, but you didn't think you were ever fully content there. Aside from Dylan and your parents, you never truly liked California. You had grown up there all your life, and although there were millions of people that adored the state, you felt the exact way someone from a state like Wyoming probably felt.

Dylan did not verbally respond to your long confession at first; instead, he simply pulled your confused and stressed self in for a hug, and you let out the simultaneous sigh and breath that you had been metaphorically holding in for years at this point.

"Maybe you should take a break," Dylan finally said; his arms were still around you, an action that made you feel completely comforted. "Right after high school, you went straight to college, and I don't think you've ever really taken a break to really think about what you actually want. Like, maybe, it's becoming a zookeeper."

Your laugh was slightly muffled by the fact that your face was pressed into the warmth of Dylan's chest. "Zookeeper?"

"I don't know," He laughed too. "You said you would support me in whatever the fuck I decide to do, and I'll do the exact same for you."

Somehow a smile found its way on your face. "A zookeeper and a comedian. What a fucking dream team."

Another laugh fell from Dylan's lips. "The best fucking dream team."

"But, honestly, I wish I could've known sooner that this is how you've been feeling. I would've been telling you to slow down so long ago, but you seemed content with everything," Dylan told you and gave you another light squeeze. "Please take a break and don't stress yourself out over the future when your next semester is over. Just relax for the first time. You can even come stay with me in LA for a little bit if that's where you wanna take your break. I'll be here for you, Y/N. Always."

Something about his words hit you hard. The wholehearted honesty and sincerity behind his statement shouldn't have surprised you, but it did. And the worry he had for you resembled the same concern you had for him when the accident happened. You two were best friends, so it should not have been a shock that you would worry about each other, but still, in that moment and for you, it was shocking because it felt like so much more than just that.

"Me too," You whispered, finally responding to his previous statement.

The long embrace came to an end with you being the one to pull away; however, you did not pull away far enough for you both to become completely detached from one another. Dylan's arms were still around your waist, and yours were still around the nape of his neck, and your faces were dangerously close. Your hand somehow took on a mind of its own as it reached around and cupped Dylan's cheek. The miniscule confusion and tickle of panic that began to prick at the back of your mind because of the action were not enough to make you pull away.

The slight way that Dylan leaned into your soft touch was the catalyst for you to take the leap and lean in the tiniest bit to close the small distance between the two of you, your lips almost too easily finding his. The inward sigh of contentment you emitted when Dylan almost immediately kissed you back made you realize that kissing him was the one thing currently happening in your life that actually felt right.

Later, when thinking back to that specific moment, you would wonder if that "rightness" had always been there between you both.

However, that right feeling, which was both comfortable and familiar, was quickly replaced with dread and angst, at least on your part. Your mind was beginning to fully catch up with your actions, and it immediately told you that the current action was both bad and stupid, and there were many, many reasons that proved that.

Maybe there were moments where a younger, and even present-day, you did want more to happen between you and Dylan, but you would always push that thought away because you knew that your and Dylan's friendship was so much more valuable.

And then it was the fact that your lives were nothing alike. Even though you were immensely confused about where your life was going, you could say for certain that it wasn't going in the same direction as Dylan's; an acting career that he genuinely loved and enjoyed too much to truly give up. Something deep down told you that, and you could feel the truthfulness behind the thought. The holidays were the only time your lives would truly intersect.

You abruptly pulled away, not just from the kiss but from Dylan's body entirely, moving to the edge of the bench you were on. Your hands covered your face in nothing but pure embarrassment and regret, and you wished that you could take back the last minute and a half of your life. And you also absolutely hated that you couldn't help but notice how much colder your body felt now that it was away from Dylan's.

"Oh my God. I'm sorry. Fuck. That kiss— it was a mistake. I'm really sorry." Your words came out rushed and fumbled, and it probably did not make much sense, but you just hoped that there was at least a little bit of coherency with them.

As much as you wanted to look at Dylan, you refused to do so because you knew that you would only see the regret you were feeling written clear across his face.

"Hey, it's okay, Y/N. Everything's fine. Don't worry," You heard him say but could hear the uncertainty in his voice as if he really didn't know if everything truly was fine. And you knew that it wasn’t. It really wasn’t.

The holidays were the only time your lives would truly intersect, and you had just completely ruined that.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

let me know your thoughts <3

((((already potentially thinking about doing a part 2 to this….. but idk…))))